#cryptmaster

[felineamphibian]

I had to get it off my chest.

[chongoblog]

This was in response to me saying the word "Poop"

[w00fies]

i wanna draw porn of goggo from cryptmaster

[corvidreavenart]

Three suffering British narrators walk into a bar

[videogamepolls]

Requested by anon

[orallech]

Cryptmaster: 3 of ?

[leam1983]

2024 in Gaming

Helldivers 2: it's become a running joke with the polycule, and approval with Progressive opinions or talking points now gets at least one of the three of us to jokingly pull out their smartphone to "call their Democracy Officer to report a case of treasonous activity"...

Walt isn't any better, but he's unlocked a few rocket-propelled weapons and now feels better sitting behind myself and Sarah while pelting the enemies ahead with weaponized Freedom.

Balatro: Walt and I's new favourite casual game, wherein appearance of it being a cutesy little variant on Poker suites turns into virtual crack. I've woken up in the wee hours to Walt's face bathed in his phone's OLED screen. When I ask him what's wrong, he typically replies something to the tune of "I need four thousand Chips, babe."

Marvel Rivals: it does what Overwatch 2 don't. As in, it's fun. Me, Walt, Sarah and a few of the boys on an all-Rocket Raccon match? You betcha! Also, there's Jeff the Land Shark, and Jeff the Land Shark deserves the world. Nay, the universe.

Astro Bot: didn't finish it, but I loved what Team Asobi cooked up. It's the most genuine, heartfelt, cutesy and engaging piece of corporate PR and Engineering porn to ever exist. Every button pressed during an Astro Bot session twiddles Mark Cerny's fun bits remotely.

Elden Ring - Shadow of the Erdtree: bought it because I approve of the design ethos behind this DLC's existence, never played it because I suuck at FromSoft games. I made sure to watch some related content so I could point and laugh awkwardly if friends of mine greet me with a random cry of "BAYYYYLE!"

Worshippers of Chtulhu: Anno with a Lovecraftian twist. It's very broken, still very much in Early Access, but the promise is definitely there.

Park Beyond: Meh. Got it for cheap, I guess we're still not getting a decent heirloom to Roller Coaster Tycoon, after the Micromanagement nightmare that Planet Coaster turned out to be for me.

1000xResist: basically a Yoko Taro game not written or directed by Yoko Taro, and it's one of the deeper game-based experiences I've had in a long while. Strongly recommended.

The Cabin Factory: Spot the Difference for easily-frightened streamers who haven't played Exit 8 yet. It has an interesting narrative format and is one of the more surprising implementations of Unity Engine I've seen to date. I could've sworn this was a UE5 project! Beyond that, it's nothing special, but it's priced accordingly.

Clickolding: if Cookie Clicker had an uncanny sense of atmosphere and managed to creep you out with nothing except a sparsely-animated antagonist and a rising click counter, you'd have a sense of what this feels like. It does a very effective job at making you want to be as compliant and possible.

Daemonologie: The Salem Witch Trials in game form, or Ace Attorney if Phoenix wore a Quaker hat and had a fixation on nakey women doing odd shit in the forest. Very tense and minimalist, and very, very worthwhile.

Cryptmaster: it's basically a spruced-up oldschool MUD, with 3D black-and-white graphics and four zombified D&D character archetypes you control simultaneously, by either using your Arrow keys to move the entire party at once, or typing in the words that correspond to abilities or attacks. Very, very, very British humour is on offer, along with a script-writer that managed to predict most stupidly filthy prompts you're likely to try at any given point. It's hilarious and kludgey in just the right way, especially if you remember the nineties' MindMaze on Encarta '95.

Liar's Bar: Russian Roulette for Furries with a decent voIP chat integration. It's shallow and stupid fun, and the subject matter makes people behave in increasingly crude ways as the session goes on. If you're like me, you'll swear you played a round or two against a guy who was actually stone-dead-drunk and who actually had nothing to lose...

Silent Hill 2 Remake: finally, Silent Hill's fog doesn't feel like a performance-saving measure and actually creeps me the fuck out. It makes me feel terrible and has me contemplate not playing it, but it does make sense. Kudos to Bloober Team for finally manage to ground this one heck of a weirdo title.

Indiana Jones and the Great Circle: take Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Dial of Destiny, burn all copies, consign the masters to Disney's oubliette, thank Harrison Ford for his decades of diligent service and pass the fedora and bullwhip to Troy Baker, 'cause Machine Games and Bethesda have managed to find themselves yet another prime title to fuck Fascists up using fisticuffs or blunt weaponry. It's a great callback to Machine Games' own contribution to Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, seeing as every single level in the game has the granular detail of their version of Prague. Slap some John Williams on, add the authentic audio samples for whip cracks and punches, lifted straight out of the movies. I haven't had as much fun raiding tombs or poking through lovingly-reconstructed real places since Nolan North last lent his voice pipes to Nathan Drake.

Imagine my surprise, when the Sistine Chapel turned out to be about the size of our condo building's parking lot! That's tiny! The more you know, I guess!

Star Wars Outlaws: this is what happens when a studio really, really, really wants to give the IP due diligence, but its decades of re-iterated design docs ruin the experience. Kay Vess isn't a galactic scoundrel; she's basically every Far Cry protagonist ever, except in third-person!

The Forever Winter: all crunch, no fun. An incredibly engaging premise, but the mistaken notion that the average gamer has several three-to-four-blocks to devote to this each and every single day. Worth at least a YouTube ride-along, to see the incredible work the Art Design team's pulled together.

Disney's Epic Mickey - Rebrushed: Warren Spector's poorly-received baby and love letter to classic animation gets its just desserts on PC. It's not super complex with only two basic mechanics based off of two buttons on a controller, but it managed to use an extremely limited toolset to great effect, even throwing in what feels like a younger relative's first potential exposure to the Immersive Sim concept of looking for unmarked routes through a level. The in-between side-scrolling levels are oozing charm, and essentially feel like some part of Spector wanted to play in the same ballpark as American McGee's Alice.

If anything, it cements the idea that non-verbal instances of Mickey Mouse should never be left in the same room as a magical implement or toolset. Ever. Verbal Mickeys can push past their childlike glee and reason accordingly, but the oldschool button-eyed and non-verbal originator is not to be trusted.

STALKER 2: Heart of Chernobyl: Have fun losing half your health because the ARMA-esque mechanics decide that grazing damage means holy shit, you almost died! Especially, have fun getting knocked flat out on your ass by mutants - over and over and over...

To be played in subtitled Ukranian out of implicit support, and to have fun with the Slavic definition of an acting range. It's like watching the second season of Squid Game, except you get the sense that their scale goes from Nonchalant to Pants-Pissingly Terrified with very little grading in-between.

And now, for Games I didn't really get into until 2024...

Valfaris and Valfaris II: Mecha Therion: side-scrollers that do their damndest to look like they stepped straight out of the pages of Heavy Metal as of the mid-eighties. Gorgeously grotesque pixel art meets with a banging soundtrack made up of certified shredders. The lead headbangs and throws the horns when he finishes a stage!

Brütal Legend: an oldie but a goodie, previously constrained to the PS3 but now quite cozy on my Steam Deck. It's got a semi-cohesive grab-bag of mechanics, sure, but it's got even more heart, along with a pre-stroke Tim Curry voicing the villain with the gooiest of all countenances. Imagine Shere Khan, but Metal as fuck.

Katamari Damacy: Re-Roll: I barely touched the original when it came out. Having managed to grab the PC port for cheap and knowing how well it plays with a Steam Deck, the Prince of All Cosmos' ball-rolling sojourn across the surface of our planet has turned into a nightly staple for me.

Baldur's Gate 3: Yes, I know, I'm late, you've all banged Astarion sixteen times by now, but I've got time for a long-form WRPG right now. I might not have this much free time once January 10th rolls around.

The Night Cage: not a vidya, but a really nerve-wracking tabletop game that's made for quite a few fun Friday nights at La Casa de Gremlin.

On My Backlog, You'll Find...

Metaphor: Re-Fantazio: I know it's beloved by all, but it feels so "so far, so ATLUS" to me, and I still haven't gotten over P4, P3 and P5's excellent PC ports. I also have Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne to go through, so I really don't know if I have it in me to tackle something in that same vein quite so soon.

Arizona Sunshine 1 & 2: I just can't be bothered to set up my Oculus Rift 2's Link Cable. I have the games, I just don't know if and when I'll play them.

Dead Rising Deluxe Remaster: I'm waiting until my old cheese strats fade into the back of my mind before I tackle this one. Plus, I'm torn about Frank West not being voiced by TJ Rotolo. He doesn't just... feels like he's covered wars, y'know?

Frostpunk 2: bought it to support the devs, am just not jazzed about having to sort of network my way across several simultaneous points of origin until the depressing version of a Dieselpunk sprawl covers the map.

The Yakuza series on Amazon Prime: SEGA's trying to become the Disney of gaming, but something about Kazuma Kiryu's story (or stories) have always felt distinctly and uniquely Japanese to me. As in, it requires a specific mindset and might not be for everyone. I'm waiting for a sign, basically - maybe one to pop my collar and rent a karaoke machine so I can belt out maudlin soliloquies to lost childhood innocence while smoking half a pack of cigs between every third or fourth stanza...

The Sonic Movies: yeah, sure, I'm in my forties, but Jim Carrey's going through a career renaissance by acting out Albert Einstein on crack. Yeah, sure, it's not either of my Robotniks (the Jim Cummings or Long John Baldry versions - for the memes) - but it seems like it might still be a trilogy of adaptations worth pursuing.

Plus, hey, I gotta start catching up on that Stobotnik shit, huh?

[smgoetter]

Cryptmaster! Another collaborative illustration from me & @natalieriess

It's rare for games writing to be genuinely funny to me, but Cryptmaster manages to do it, while being unlike anything else we've played. I had fun trying to recreate the look of the game, haha.

Natalie did the sketch and the shading on this one, while I just used good ol' pen and ink on this one. I was trying to match the hatching style of the game, though I dunno how successful I was here. I think once again Nat's sketch of the Cryptmaster was much funnier though. So it goes.

[psychetypy]

go play cryptmaster

[hog-zone]

commands for gamers

[unexploredcast]

If you haven't been joining us for riddle solving, bad typing, and lots of card games on our CRYPTMASTER streams this week, check out the VODs over at https://www.twitch.tv/unexploredcast!

[fridge-reviews]

Cryptmaster

Developer: Paul Hart, Lee Williams, Akupara Games Publisher: Akupara Games Steam Deck Compatibility?: Playable Rrp: £19.79 (Epic) and £20.99 (Gog.com, Humble and Steam) Released: 9th May 2024 Available on: Steam, Epic, Humble and Gog.com Played Using: Keyboard Approximate game length: 14+ hours

Back in my review of ‘The Textorcist’ I said I didn’t know why I found myself drawn to typing games. I’m still no closer to a specific answer but I do at least recognise it’s not all typing games that appeal, there has to be another element to it. In the case of Cryptmaster it appeals to another love I have, namely the dungeon crawler genre. Having briefly seen this game being played by Yahtzee Crowshaw (known for Fully Ramblomatic and Zero Punctuation) I felt I had to check it out for myself.

When you start the game  you get to choose between turn based or real time, the game recommends playing in real time, this choice specifically relates to combat and will come up later in the review. 

You play as four corpses that have been freshly risen by the Cryptmaster. Each of the corpses (which I will now refer to as characters) have a name which is shown next to their portrait, this name not only lets you know who they are but also represents their health. Each letter is effectively a hit point and when all the letters of a name are gone that character is dead… again. Not to worry though as they can be brought back by using altars that you can find on each floor of the dungeon.  Below each characters name is a space for a word that will be revealed as you gather letters (more on that later).

During the tutorial stage along with all the basic instructions for the game you’ll also gain an item called the ‘Soulstone’ which is used to store up ‘soul energy’. You gain this soul energy by many different means such as collecting bugs, fishing, defeating enemies, solving riddles and winning games of Whatever. This soul energy is used to perform actions in and out of combat as well as acting as a currency.

When you encounter an enemy you're shown their name along with an hourglass. When the sand in the hourglass runs out they perform their attack. If you have chosen to play in real time this happens, unsurprisingly, in real time. However, if you choose to play in turn based the hourglass empties a bit for each letter you type.

Combat requires you to type which action you want your characters to perform. Once an action is performed that character won’t be able to do more until their cooldown timer is complete. However, there are synergies between the characters that can make these actions more potent, you just need to work out which words will work best. That being said, after a while the enemies will start to impose conditions such as not allowing you to type a specific letter or getting stronger if a letter is typed. Something to bear in mind though is that other than the initial moves you gained in the tutorial all the actions cost souls to perform. If you run out of souls and attempt to perform an action that requires them it will knock a letter off that character's name.

Once you kill an enemy you get to select which three letters from their name to add to your character's current words. Those three letters have to be next to each other though, if you wish to make the game a bit easier you can gain additional letters by increasing the number of ‘Loot Fingers’ you get.

The collection of letters has been mentioned a lot so far and is going to come up even more, so I feel now is the time to cover what those letters are for. The letters you gain give hints to what the word is that your characters have. The words associated with the characters either appear with a white background or a black one. If the background is white that means that once the word is complete (or you successfully guess what it is) it will unlock a new action that can be performed. If the background of the word is black then you unlock a memory relating to that character.  You gain letters in several ways, defeating enemies, successfully guessing the contents of chests, solving riddles and fishing.

You may be wondering how you’re supposed to remember all the words you’ll inevitably unlock as you play, especially for four characters. Fear not, this game comes with a handy list that pauses the game and allows you to (hopefully) make the best choice. You just need to press the number associated with that character on your keyboard and the word list will appear.

Unlike most dungeon crawlers you don’t gain experience by killing enemies or completing quests. Leveling up occurs only when you unlock a certain number of memories. Upon gaining a level you get to add another letter to that character's name, thus increasing their health.

As you explore the dungeons you will occasionally find chests, upon finding one you have to type ‘chest’ (or some other version such as container or box) to open it. Once you do this the Cryptmaster appears and the box turns to face him. You can tell him how to interact with the object in order to gain clues as to what item is in there. The Cryptmaster can be told to; touch, look, taste, sniff, remember, use and wear the object and he will give you a description or a vague memory associated with it. For example, when told to look at the object he told me it was a ball with a frayed string attached and two circles at the end. When told to remember it, he said he remembered looking into many of these. I won’t give away what the answer was because there are only so many items in the game to find.  You get four questions to ask before he demands to know what your answer is and if you get it wrong then you’ve lost your chance. If you get it right the letters of the word you typed get added to your characters current words.

You’ll also sometimes find skulls on a pillar of rocks, these skulls will give you a riddle to solve. Solving riddles works similarly to chests, though instead of the Cryptmaster taking control a skull gives you a riddle and you must try and solve it. If you do so successfully the letters from the answer are added to your characters current words as well as netting you sixty souls.

There are places in the dungeon where you can fish. Fishing gives you a single letter that you choose from the name of the fish that you’re catching.

Within this game is also an optional card game called Whatever that involves filling out the letters of the cards you have in your hand from a line of letters. For each letter that appears in your card's name that card will attack your opponent. If the name becomes completely filled the special ability listed on the card will activate. The first to hit zero life loses, it's very simple and I will admit I spent far too long playing this.

I can’t talk about this game without mentioning the visual style of the game. There aren’t many games that can make pure monochrome work but this one definitely does it. The voice acting of the Cryptmaster is just so wonderfully rich and so full of life (ironically). Part of the reason I played for so long was just so I could keep hearing it.

Truly this game has so much to give and is far more than the sum of its parts. I absolutely implore you to give this game a go even if you struggle with typing games, I promise you won’t be disappointed with what you find.

If this appeals to you perhaps try;

Typing of the Dead: Overkill The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibba Legend of Grimrock 2

---- If you’d like to support me I have a Ko-fi, the reviews will continue to be posted donation or not.

[totally-not-a-goat]

bro just showed up and is telling me to spell

[lasanha-do-lidl]

Cryptmaster being adorkable.

I finished the game yesterday, but I've been roaming around hunting for letters and trying to beat the NPCs at that -contained rage- card game.

[corvidreavenart]

An old meme, but who are you sitting with?

[hiscursedness]

It took two people forty minutes to explain a number line tonight

"No you don't understand, time is LINEAR"