#roof connector

[type-greninja]

Transitional Sunroom in Boston Inspiration for a large transitional light wood floor sunroom remodel with a glass ceiling

[placeofwonder]

public places that let you charge your tech my beloved

[srsserviceprogram]

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[magic-vending-machine]

I insert a photograph of Weird Al Yankovic

The machine dispenses allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires, bb pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication, metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, duracells and energizers, soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers.

[jennamoran]

The Far Roofs: Systems

Hi!

Today I’m going to talk a little bit more about my forthcoming RPG, the Far Roofs. More specifically, I want to give a general overview of its game mechanics!

So the idea that first started the Far Roofs on the road to being its own game came out of me thinking a lot about what large projects feel like.

I was in one of those moods where I felt like the important thing in an RPG system was the parallel between that system and real-world experience. Where I felt like the key to art was always thinking about the end goal, or at least a local goal, as one did the work; and, the key to design was symmetry between the goals and methods, the means and ends.

I don't always feel that way, but it's how I work when I'm feeling both ambitious and technical.

So what I wanted to do was come up with an RPG mechanic that was really like the thing it was simulating:

Finding answers. Solving problems. Doing big things.

And it struck me that what that felt like, really, was a bit like ...

You get pieces over time. You wiggle them around. You try to fit them together. Sometimes, they fit together into larger pieces and then eventually a whole. Sometimes you just collect them and wiggle them around until suddenly there's an insight, an oh!, and you now know everything works.

The ideal thing to do here would probably be having a bag of widgets that can fit together in different ways---not as universally as Legos or whatever, but, like, gears and connectors and springs and motors and whatever. If I were going to be building a computer game I would probably think along those lines, anyway. You'd go to your screen of bits and bobs and move them around with your mouse until it hooked together into something that you liked.

... that's not really feasible for a tabletop RPG, though, at least, not with my typical financial resources. I could probably swing making that kind of thing, finding a 3d printing or woodworking partner or something to make the pieces, for the final kickstarter, but I don't have the resources to make a bunch of different physical object sets over time while I'm playtesting.

So the way I decided that I could implement this was by drawing letter tiles.

That I could do a system where you'd draw letter tiles ... not constantly, not specifically when you were working, but over time; in the moments, most of all, that could give you insight or progress.

Then, at some point, you'd have enough of them.

You'd see a word.

That word'd be your answer.

... not necessarily the word itself, but, like, what the word means to you and what the answer means to you, those would be the same.

The word would be a symbol for the answer that you've found, as a player and a character.

(The leftover letters would then stick around in your hand, bits of thought and experience that didn't directly lead to a solution there, but might help with something else later on.)

Anyway, I figured that this basic idea was feasible because, like, lots of people own Scrabble sets. Even if you don't, they're easier to find than sets of dice!

For a short indie game focused on just that this would probably have been enough of a mechanic all on its own. For a large release, though, the game needed more.

After thinking about it I decided that what it wanted was two more core resolution systems:

One, for stuff like, say ... kickstarter results ... where you're more interested in "how well did this do?" or "how good of an answer is this?" than in whether those results better fit AXLOTL or TEXTUAL. For this, I added cards, which you draw like letter tiles and combine into poker hands. A face card is probably enough for a baseline success, a pair of Kings would make the results rather exciting, and a royal flush result would smash records.

The other core system was for like ... everyday stuff. For starting a campfire or jumping a gap. That, by established RPG tradition, would use dice.

...

I guess technically it didn't have to; I mean, like, most of my games have been diceless, and in fact we've gotten to a point in the hobby where that's just "sort of unusual" instead of actually rare.

But, like, I like dice. I do. If I don't use them often, it's because I don't like the empty page of where to start in the first place building a bespoke diced system when I have so many good diceless systems right there.

... this time, though, I decided to just go for it.

--

The Dice System

So a long, long time ago I was working on a game called the Weapons of the Gods RPG. Eos Press had brought me in to do the setting, and somewhere in the middle of that endeavor, the game lost its system.

I only ever heard Eos' side of this, and these days I tend to take Eos' claims with a grain of salt ... but, my best guess is that all this stuff did happen, just, with a little more context that I don't and might not ever know?

Anyway, as best as I remember, the first writer they had doing their system quit midway through development. So they brought in a newer team to do the system, and halfway through that the team decided they'd have more fun using the system for their own game, and instead wrote up a quick alternate system for Weapons of the Gods to use.

This would have been fine if the alternate system were any good, but it was ... pretty obviously a quick kludge. It was ...

I think the best word for it would be "bad."

I don't even like the system they took away to be their own game, but at least I could believe that it was constructed with love. It was janky but like in a heartfelt way.

The replacement system was more the kind of thing where if you stepped in it you'd need a new pair of shoes.

It upset me.

It upset me, and so, full wroth, I decided to write a system to use for the game.

Now, I'd never done a diced system before at that point. My only solo game had been Nobilis. So I took a bunch of dice and started rolling them, to see ... like ... what the most fun way of reading them was.

Where I landed, ultimately, was looking for matches.

The core system for Weapons of the Gods was basically, roll some number of d10s, and if you got 3 4s, that was a 34. If you got 2 9s, that was a 29. If your best die was a 7 and you had no pairs at all, you got 1 7. 17.

It didn't have any really amazing statistical properties, but the act of rolling was fun. It was rhythmic, you know, you'd see 3 4s and putting them together into 34 was a tiny tiny dopamine shot at the cost of basically zero brain effort. It was pattern recognition, which the brain tends to enjoy.

I mean, obviously, it would pall in a few minutes if you just sat there rolling the dice for no reason ... but, as far as dice rolling goes, it was fun.

So when I went to do an optional diced system for the Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine RPG, years later, to post here on tumblr ... I already knew what would make that roll fun. That is, rolling a handful of dice and looking for matches.

What about making it even more fun?

... well, critical results are fun, so what about adding them and aiming to have a lot of them, though still like rare enough to surprise?

It made sense to me to call no matches at all a critical failure, and a triple a critical success. So I started fiddling with dice pool size to get the numbers where I wanted them.

I'm reconstructing a bit at this point, but I imagine that I hit 6d10 and was like: "these are roughly the right odds, but this is one too many dice to look at quickly on the table, and I don't like that critical failure would be a bit more common than crit success."

So after some wrestling with things I wound up with a dice pool of 5d6, which is the dice pool I'm still using today.

If you roll 5d6, you'll probably get a pair. But now and then, you'll get a triple (or more!) My combinatorics is rusty, so I might have missed a case, but, like ... 17% of the time, triples, quadruples, or quintuples? And around 9% chance, for no matches at all?

I think I was probably looking for 15% and 10%, that those were likely my optimum, but ... well, 5d6 comes pretty close. Roughly 25% total was about as far as I thought I could push critical results while still having them feel kind or rare. Like ...

If I'm rolling a d20 in a D&D-like system, and if I'm going to succeed on an 18+, that's around when success is exciting, right? Maybe 17+, though that's pushing it? So we want to fall in the 15-20% range for a "special good roll." And people have been playing for a very long time now with the 5% chance of a "1" as a "special bad roll," and that seemed fine, so, like, 20-25% chance total is good.

And like ...

People talk a lot about Rolemaster crit fail tables in my vicinity, and complain about the whiff fests you see in some games where you keep rolling and rolling and nothing good or bad actually happens, and so I was naturally drawn to pushing crit failure odds a bit higher than you see in a d20-type game.

Now, one way people in indie circles tend to address "whiff fests" is by rethinking the whole dice-rolling ... paradigm ... so you never whiff; setting things up, in short, so that every roll means something, and every success and failure mean something too.

It's a leaner, richer way of doing things than you see in, say, D&D.

... I just didn't feel like it, here, because the whole point of things was to make dice rolling fun. I wanted people coming out of traditional games to be able to just pick up the dice and say "I'm rolling for this!" because the roll would be fun. Because consulting the dice oracle here, would be fun.

So in the end, that was the heart of it:

A 5d6 roll, focusing on the ease of counting matches and the high but not exorbitant frequency of special results.

But at the same time ...

I'm indie enough that I do really like rolls where, you know, every outcome is meaningful. Where you roll, and there's never a "whiff," just a set of possible meaningful outcomes.

A lot of the time, where I'm leaning into "rolls are fun, go ahead and roll," what it means to succeed, to fail, to crit, all that's up to the group, and sometimes it'll be unsatisfying. Other times, you'll crit succeed or crit fail and the GM will give you basically the exact same result as you'd have gotten on a regular success or failure, just, you know, jazzing up the description a bit with more narrative weight.

But I did manage to pull out about a third of the rolls you'll wind up actually making and assign strong mechanical and narrative weight to each outcome. Where what you were doing was well enough defined in the system that I could add some real meat to those crits, and even regular success and regular failure.

... though that's a story, I think, to be told some other time. ^_^

[carsthatnevermadeitetc]

HW Electro Puzzle, 2025. A Japanese start-up has revealed a prototype small electric van they say will go into production in 2025. With a design inspired by Origami, the Puzzle is 3,395 mm long, 1,475 mm wide and has a wheelbase of 2,480 mm. The panels at the front open up, giving access to the charging port as well as connectors for charging gadgets and a first aid kit. There are solar panels on the roof to supplement charging and the lithium-iron-phosphate battery provides a range of 200 km.

watch a video here

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - Late Night Drives

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warning(s): none? Jack getting a little ‘worked up.’

—————————————

“Cole get your ass out of my face!” I peeked into the back seat, met with the sight of Cole’s legs and Trevor trying to push him aside. When Quinn suggested we do a side-by-side ride, I assumed it would be a peaceful drive on back roads. The boys’ excited reactions seemed to portray something completely different. Jack was in the drivers seat, turning the vehicle on while Quinn, Trevor, and Luke scrunched themselves up in the back, and Cole found a place to stand beside Trevor. The side-by-side had an open roof, and he was the only one short enough not to fly out if he stood. Despite the fact that it was unsafe, nobody stopped him.

The boys at the lake house.. they were completely different. Still sweet and lovable, but god they were handfuls.

The sun was setting, so Jack flipped the headlights on simply for safety.

“Ready, babe?” Stupidly, I nodded, un-expecting of my fate. I heard the familiar ding of a Bluetooth connector. Jack reached upwards to press something, then blaring rock music overtook the atmosphere. My whole body tensed.

Jack was a good driver. A responsible driver. Apparently not at the lake house. What happens at the lake house stays at the lake house. Dangerous or not. He ripped out of that driveway faster than a snake could strike, throwing up the gravel from the end of the drive as he pulled out onto the road. I heard Cole let out a shout, his excitement bringing a smile to my lips despite the tension.

Jack flew through potholes, ignored speed limit signs, barely touched the break on turns- I finally understood why they called him Rowdy. I also understood why Quinn’s natural older sibling instinct took a sideline when it came to who drove the side-by-side. Because Jack, as reckless as he was, did it best.

My anxiety calmed through the excited shouts from the boys in the back seat, and the big smile on Jack’s face. He stretched his arm out to me, and I slipped across the seat to lean into his side. He draped his arm over my shoulders while the other gripped the wheel tightly.

Everything was loud. The music, the engine, the wind. It made the environment all the more thrilling. Especially the way Jack’s eyes would leave the road for a split second to peek at me.

Things went well until he hit a particularly deep hole. The whole vehicle jolted, and I spotted Cole immediately finding a seat in Trevor’s lap. My own hand had come to grip Jack’s thigh, but he merely barked out a laugh at the nerves, as did Quinn and Luke.

“You can’t sit there!” Trevor shouted over the roar of the engine.

“What?” Cole shouted right back. Jack and I both laughed.

“Never mind!” Trevor leaned back, brow raising in mock frustration when Cole maneuvered himself to sit sideways, draping his legs over the laps of Quinn and Luke. Luke Laughed, but Quinn -sitting in the middle of the back- rested his arms on top of Cole’s legs, probably to provide some type of security. If not to Cole, then at least to himself.

The familiar piano tune roared over the speakers, a song that became popular in the previous summer. Soon I had five boys singing, “Great Balls Of Fire” in my ear, and I couldn’t help but sing with them. I glanced in the rear view to see Cole leaned back so far, his head was hanging upside down outside of the side-by-side. Despite that, I could still hear his raspy laughter, mixed in with Trevor’s asthmatic giggles. Jack flew around a turn, and my body leaned away from his. It was only a matter of time before he pulled me back into his side. Luke leaned forward, peeking his head into the front seat on the side opposite of Jack, and I closed my eyes in preparation for his shouting.

“Jacky!” Luke called.

“What’s up?”

“Let’s stop at the pond!”

“The what?”

“The pond!” Apparently, Luke waited too long to mention said destination, because the next thing I knew, Jack was breaking hard and making a sharp turn off the road and onto a trail. Everybody started yelling. None particularly worried, simply having a good time. My hand gripped Jack’s thigh impossibly hard.

“You’re turning me on!” Jack complained as he tried swatting my hand away.

“What?”

“You’re turning me on!” Jack repeated, loud enough that our company could hear.

“Dude that’s nasty!” Luke reached past me to gently push his brother’s head, before leaning back in his seat.

“Fuckin’ gross!” Cole shouted in agreement with the youngest Hughes, lifting his head back into the vehicle only long enough to voice his distaste for the conversation Jack and I were trying to have. But when he leaned it back out, he was startled by the branch that almost smacked him in the face, so he decided to keep his head inside the side by side.

Jack hadn’t slowed the whole drive through the woods. Not until we made it to this pond. He stopped the side-by-side and let the boys out, the four of them running off toward the water. I saw a shoe fly, another follow, some kicked off in the grass. A few shirts were removed, but the shorts remained on. Jack smiled at me, grateful for the moment of privacy as he shut the side-by-side off.

“Good drive?”

“There were a few moments I thought I was gonna die.” I responded casually, earning a laugh from him. Jack leaned forward and pressed his lips to my own. I raised my hand to cup his cheek.

“Love ya,” I whispered against his lips before he pulled away.

“I love you too.” Jack opened his door and climbed out, offering his hand to me. I quickly took it and slipped out his side, letting the door swing shut behind myself. I could hear the faint laughter of the boys in the water, splashing each other and shouting random trash talk. I turned just in time to see Quinn take his younger brother down in the water. Jack and I laughed while we slipped our shoes and socks off. His shirt followed, mine did not.

“Come on, Rowdy!” Trevor called, and Jack quickly slipped from my side to run down the bank and into the water. The air wasn’t particularly cold. It was a warm evening. I didn’t mind joining them in the pond, but I certainly didn’t want to get near as wet as the five boys were. I cautiously approached the pond and dipped my feet into the water. A bit chilly, but refreshing. Jack’s giggly laughter was contagious, and I found myself laughing quietly at him as he stomped through the water to get to Quinn. The two brothers got into quite the wrestling match before they both went tumbling into the water. I hugged myself as I stood there, shaking my head in disbelief. Jack was the first to emerge. We made eye contact, and he started in my direction before a hand got ahold of his ankle and pulled him back into the water. Quinn and Luke turned toward me, mischievous smiles on their lips as soon as they started running. I gasped. They were after me.

“Run!” Jack shouted when he came back out of the water, his hair a hot mess in his face, and I heard him gag. No doubt on the taste of pond water.

It was too late, by the time I got one foot out of the water, Luke had me in his grasp. I broke into a fit of laughter as he tossed me over his shoulder and lugged me deeper into the pond.

“Cole! Help me!” I demanded, but Cole and Trevor were too busy laughing at me. The second Luke deemed it deep enough, he dropped me. I gasped for air before I hit the water, mentally cursing Quinn and the sound of his triumphant laughter mixed with Luke’s.

My back came into gentle contact with the bottom of the pond, and I was quick to surface, rising to my feet and drawing in a breath full of hair. I coughed a few times before two gentle hands parted the curtains of hair in front of my face. Jack.

“You good baby?” I smiled and laughed softly. His hair always looked curlier when it was wet. Like a poodle.

“I’m great, Jacky. Thanks.” I dipped my hand into the water and splashed him. Jack laughed and pulled his hands away from me to shield himself. Quinn and Luke were busy going after Cole and Trevor while Jack and I threw water at each other.

When the excitement died down, and the adrenalin finally stopped rushing, we found ourselves all laid out on the bank. Cole was on his side, Trevor beside him on his stomach. Luke was on his back next to Quinn. Jack and I were sitting up on the bank, cuddled up together to try and stay warm.

“To think, you were gonna skip out on a side-by-side ride.” Jack softly teased.

“I know, Rowdy. I would have missed out on about five near death experiences, and the swim of a lifetime.”

“You didn’t almost die.” Jack disagreed, shaking his head.

“Cole almost did when that branch almost whacked him in the face.” My soft joke caused quiet giggles to fall from our lips.

“Can’t believe I gotta get back in that thing with you.” I mumbled.

“The drives back are always more peaceful. I let Quinn drive.. since he drives like a mother.” I smirked and glanced toward Quinn, who flipped Jack the bird.

Jack hadn’t been wrong. I sat in the back with him, along with Trevor and Cole once again. Jack sat in the middle, and I on one side with Trevor on the other. Cole went back to using everybody as a mattress.

Luke sat upfront with Quinn, who turned the stereo down and practically off to listen for oncoming traffic in the darkness of the night. Quinn truly did drive like a mother. Slow and controlled enough to lull Jack to sleep before I followed soon after, amused in my dazed stupor by the way Luke’s head hung forward in the front seat. He must have passed out before anybody else. I was thankful the engine of the side-by-side was louder than the collective snores of the group, but nestled into Jack’s side, it all sounded like faint background noise nonetheless. I was comfortable and secure in his arms.

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[sehtoast]

Can I request a homelander x single mother reader

Hl meets struggling reader with her newborn child. At first he watches her taking pleasure in how pathetic she is but eventually falls I love with her 🙏

So unfortunately one of my things with being a trans man is it’s very very hard for me to be able to envision this perspective and go too in depth with it, because it does end up inducing some weird bubblings of dysphoria (the mother role, not the having a kid thing), but I’m good to go surface level and just sort of headcanon it out if it’s all the same to you anon <3

He actually had no intention of fixating on you whatsoever. Not only were you normal– you were boring.  Just some human mud living your human life.  Not his speed at all.  At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

See, he could smell it.  He practically salivated the second he got a whiff of your body producing milk.  You were just some desk jockey finally returning after maternity leave, but you caught his eye in mere seconds.

Then he started really paying attention.  Watching through the walls, following you home, watching you pick up that sniveling beast that you fawned over so dearly no matter how loudly it screeched in the middle of the night.  How you didn’t leave the thing for the wolves after the first explosive diaper was beyond him, but the soft, nurturing, kind side of you ensures the wee thing is put back together and content before even once worrying for yourself.

After a while, he can really see it in your eyes.  You’re exhausted.  Barely making ends meet, barely affording the babysitter, barely keeping from keeling over.

He smirks when you miss your stop on the train.  You don’t know he’s sat on the connector between cars, mere feet away, but you don’t have to know that.  You don’t have to know anything like that.  You just need to sit pretty and let him watch.

Just like you really don’t need to worry when you’re cornered in an alley by some filth reeking of alcohol.  You don’t need to fret, because he’s there in a heartbeat, lasering that worthless fuck in two and sweeping you into his safe, strong arms.

Your tears leak against his chest and he swears to hell and back he’ll never allow the costume department to wash away your scent.  He brings you to a roof, makes small talk while you calm down.

“Say, you work at Vought, don’t you? I think I’ve seen you around.”

He thinks he’s so smooth about it.  Like it’d be a mystery the next day when you’ve got a whopping promotion to be his new assistant, complete with a full benefits package including childcare and a salary that nearly has you falling to your knees.

The flowers on your desk are only the start…

I do also want to apologize that my requests have taken so long to start. I had an absolutely insane workload for school over the last 12 weeks, but thankfully I've got a little break now. That said, my requests are open once again <3

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

2. "Okay. Ready." (Proceed.)

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Five..."

"Four..."

"Three..."

"Two…"

"One..."

"Mute disengaged." She lifts her hand from the keyboard. Complete silence fills the room.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Easy: Success] - No wind outside. No waves. No floorboards creaking. Total, continuous silence. This is... unnatural.

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - The woman looks around. In the silence, you see dust move on the floorboards. The driver of the speaker vibrates in the air and then stops. Plasterwork begins to crumble down the walls...

In the silence, a low hum starts creeping up your spine. It's a song inside you -- not in the speakers, not in the room. A great bass sigh in the basement of your mind. Slowly it builds, until the air around you starts to vibrate.

HALF LIGHT [Easy: Success] - It will devour everything.

INLAND EMPIRE [Trival: Success] - The floorboards. The glass. The streets and the people. Nothing will remain.

ANDRE - "Guys, what's going on?" There's alarm in the man's voice, as he steps back to scan the surroundings. A slight rattle like crystal clattering in the cupboard fills the air, joining the chorus.

NOID - "It's getting louder..." says Noid, his eyes riveted on the strange circle of water basins.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Medium: Success] - In the basins -- the water looks like it's *boiling*.

EGG HEAD - "HOSIANNAH! MOTHER OF MEGA!" You hear Egg Head yell -- then something else, but his voice is growing faint...

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - In his mind, a tidal wave approaching from afar, swallowing entire coastlines on its way... salvation.

"Hey, uh, what's that weird rattling sound...?"

"It was… it was *in* me at first…"

"I've never heard anything this hard core in my life!"

EGG HEAD - "The BEAUTY AND THE BEAT! The future of dance, PLANETARY!"

ACELE - "No, Egg! It's the window." The glass shards around Dolores Dei's vacant heart appear to be vibrating from the sound. It almost looks as if she's alive.

KIM KITSURAGI - In the corner of your eye, the lieutenant steps aside cautiously, his eyes searching for a possible evacuation route.

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "The window is going to come down. NO, THE ROOF..." She looks up. A screech fills the air, a scream of wood and nails -- the pillars of the church twist and creak above and around you.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Medium: Success] - Cracks appear on the stained glass window. Cracks run up the wooden pillars in the dark...

EGG HEAD - "COME DOWN TO US! LOVE!"

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - It's shaking the building's foundation. The floor twists...

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - A great PULSE arises in your flesh...

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "That's it, I'm muting it!" She reaches for the keyboard...

"OH, I WANT TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY!" (Start tapping your foot.)

"Yeah, we should stop. Soona, mute it!"

"Everybody, don't panic, it's beautiful!"

EGG HEAD - "OH, I WANT TO FEEL THE HEAT WITH SOMEBODY!"

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Shit, it doesn't stop!" The woman is furiously pressing down on her keyboard -- but the sound doesn't stop. "Acele, have you...?"

ACELE - "Yes, I've turned it off!" She yells, holding the contact mic in her hand.

"Andre, pull the compressor! The place is gonna come down..."

ANDRE - "Fuck..." Andre frantically smashes buttons. "I can't shut it up, the signal's passed... It's not *in* here! It's..."

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - In the mixing desk now. Building into a positive feedback loop.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Trivial: Success] - THIS IS IT. A great roar, the vault of the roof twists above you, glass shatters somewhere near the door... it's coming down.

"Egg Head! It's in the desk!"

"Egg Head -- whatever you do, don't stop it!"

EGG HEAD - And then it stops. Totally and utterly -- as if there never was a sound. Only your ears still ring from the shock. Everybody is staring at Egg Head -- holding a dangling cable in his hand. A black three-pin connector.

ACELE - "Egg..."

EGG HEAD - "I pulled the plug," he says, calmly. "It was getting *too* hard core."

ANDRE - "You did good, Egg..." Andre breathes a sigh of relief and inspects the window. "Most of the place seems to be intact. Fucking L... Programmer-lady, tell me you were recording that!"

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Four years..." the woman whispers. "Twenty two people, millions of reáls... All that time *this* is what we were up against? Just erased it..." Her lip trembles. "Sulisław isn't gonna believe this."

ANDRE - "Yeah, but did you record it though? It was dope, I think we can use it."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Yes, Andre." She composes herself -- wipes the dust off her sweater and rests her hands on the keyboard. "I recorded it. Damn, I need to send some letters now..."

"Thank you all for doing this. Egg Man, you too. And you, officer." She turns to you. "I don't know *what* we've discovered, but I know what it sounds like now. That's a start."

"Kim, did *you* hear that?"

"What *was* that? I've never heard anything like that."

"You're going to write Sulisław?"

"What happens now. Are you going to..." (Conclude.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "It was *very* hard not to. I think you're right," he turns to the woman. "There *is* something going on here -- and you need to be *very* careful with it."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "I promise, officer. We will *not* play it again."

2. "What *was* that? I've never heard anything like that."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "It was mathematical information -- from the anomaly -- presented as a waveform. That's what it was *technically* -- theoretically..." She shakes her head.

"I have no idea. I've never even heard of anything like this."

PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Easy: Success] - Her voice seems muffled in the silent church. It's your ears adjusting after the exposure.

3. "You're going to write Sulisław?"

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Yes. Our lead designer. And maybe some of the producers too. And some of the writers, if they're sober enough to open a transmission. They need to hear..."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - That it wasn't her fault. Or theirs.

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "They need to hear about this. Don't worry, I won't send the recording -- although I doubt they have the speakers to produce the frequency anyway..."

4. "What happens now. Are you going to..." (Conclude.)

🎵 Protorave

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Stay here," she cuts you off, her deft fingers already on the keyboard. "I am going to stay here with these lunatics, send letters, maybe meet Sulisław... Also devise further measurements."

Task complete: Help Soona with her project

+70 XP

Level up!

ANDRE - "I want you to know that's totally chill with us."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "I don't care," she blurts, then reconsiders: "But thank you anyway."

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - That's the best she can manage for Andre. It's quite a lot, in truth. For her, at least.

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Now..." Her hands move on the keyboard. "I have a theory to come up with. *Some* kind of preliminary explanation to all this, or the letter will sound like I've lost my mind..."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes. And we have to get back to stabilizing Martinaise..." He breathes out, trying to shake off tension. "Instead of demolishing it with loud bass noise of unknown origins."

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - Some tiny hard thing lets go in your stomach. You're still alive.

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - You have an explanation for all this. Somewhere deep in you -- you *know*. The person you *were* knows.

[Logic - Godly 19] Form a theory on the two-millimetre hole in the world.

+1 Heard of Doomed Commercial Area. +1 Investigated Doomed Commercial Area. +2 Heard of Motorway South. +2 Motorway South complete. +2 Cop of the Apocalypse.

LOGIC [Godly: Success] - You don't have to. You already *have*. A long time ago.

Wait... *how*?

"Soona, it is the origin point of the pale."

LOGIC - These thoughts formed in you somewhere, in a long forgotten discussion. Behind a kitchen table, in the evening light.

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - Drinking coffee and smoking. With a friend.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - And a woman, she was there too. Her hair smelled of shampoo and she was smoking.

"Soona, it is the origin point of the pale."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "What?"

"The swallow -- it's how it starts. It's baby pale."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "But..." She looks up, and there's fear in her eyes as she considers the possibility. "But pale isn't here. We're thousands of kilometres from the edge."

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - That comforts her.

"No." (Look up first.) "We are twenty metres from the *very* edge."

"The pale is only an effect. A transition between the world -- and *that*."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - She looks up into the darkness under the nave, then back at you.

"The pale is only an effect. A transition between the world -- and *that*."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Then... what *is* that?"

LOGIC - It's nothing. No... it's *less* than nothing. No...

"It's *less than less than nothing*. The final rest state for reality. Imagine if all this..." (Spread your hands.) "*Never was.*"

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Then the pale is..."

"Simply a gradient."

"Simply… *curdling milk*."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "But the milk -- it clearly hasn't started curdling yet. We're here and the pale is not."

"One day, when it's larger, it will be."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "I understand..." She closes her eyes. "A theory of the pale where instead of an *outer ocean* it metastasises -- like a cancer or a mould -- erupting in points *inside* the world."

(Nod.) "*This* is one of those places."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - She's silent for a second. Then she opens her mouth. "According to this -- how long..."

"…until it starts *swallowing*? It's already started. Starting with sound."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "And information," she nods. "Causing data losses in the East-Insulindian front. Have you considered why it's formed in a church? And, also, *when* or *how* it might start growing? Or -- if it has other effects? In addition to sound and data..."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - An intellectual hunger fills her now, casting fear aside.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I also have a question -- since we're piling them on. How do *you* know this? I'm not doubting you," he explains, "I'm simply curious as to how a detective of the RCM..."

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - ... knows how to think this?

"It didn't form in a church, the church formed around it."

"All the failed businesses in the Doomed Commercial Area. All the failure in Martinaise..."

"Tiago -- under the roof -- he said he's circling the spot, like a saeraff. He seemed to have lost his mind."

"I think I've had this thought before. That's how I know."

(Conclude.) "One day all the world will be like that two-millimetre hole."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Of course! A pinewood sarcophagus, or a..." She looks for words. "A containment facility of some kind, built by the first settlers."

"Yes. Acting on an instinctual level. Or religious practices we've forgotten."

"*Or* it can be a coincidence."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "I have considered the same. The bad news is -- there were *seven* pinewood churches built in the first decade of Revachol's settlement."

"Most of them were burnt down during the Revolution, or re-purposed before, during the Suzerain. I'm not saying *all* of them have one in them, but.."

HALF LIGHT [Easy: Success] - Some of them might. A black grain, hanging in the air...

2. "All the failed businesses in the Doomed Commercial Area. All the failure in Martinaise..."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "You think the presence of that *puncture* has somehow... influenced the outcome of events here? Even, say, software development?"

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She already made up her mind when she heard it. Some kind of great and uncaring force had to play a part... it wasn't *only* them.

"Yes. Even the Revolution was defeated here. I mean a kind of... entroponetic history."

"All the failed businesses and ideologies -- there's something *wrong* here."

"No. We're reaching. People fail on their own."

SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "I told the producers we need to go and move to a normal office building, with amenities. But no -- the artists like the *milieu*. The writers like the *history*..." She shakes her head. "I told them."

[kirbytxt]

cage matching, gourmet racing, star stacking, air riding, pinballing, dream coursing, flagballing, smash brawling, sword sparring, quick drawing, Allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires, BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication, metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers, Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires, BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication, metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers, soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

DNI list:

(very quickly and apparently not stopping to breathe) Allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires, BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication, metal roofing, waterproofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers, soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers,

I can't wa-a-ait --

[high-ass-zombie-angel-statue]

Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town

Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here

I thought that I would go right out of my mind

Until a friend told me the news

He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot

Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it

And on that spot they're gonna build a shop

Where we can go buy bolts and screws"

Since then I've been walking on air (air)

I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair

'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care

I've been waiting since last June

For this day to finally arrive

I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive

'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside

Well, I hope they open soon

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open up that door?

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight

Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out

I pressed my nose right up against the glass

You know, I had to be first in line

Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom

Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house

See those hacksaws? Very, very soon

One of them will be all mine

Guys with nametags walking down the aisles

Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles

Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles

All arranged alphabetically

And they're doing a promotional stunt

There's a great big purple sign out front

That says every 27th customer

Will get a ball peen hammer free

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open up that door?

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters

Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters

Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires

BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers

Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters

Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters

Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables

Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles

Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication

Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation

Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors

Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors

Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers

Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers

Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers

Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open the door?

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

Thank you that was the ENTIRETY of weird Al’s hardware store

me omw to the hardware store

[milfweirdal]

(sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending then descending guitar riff) Nothing ever (ever) happens in this town, feeling low down (down) not a lot to do around here, I thought that I would go right out of my mind until a friend told me THE NEWS. He said "(hey!) You know that vacant lot? Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it and on the spot they're gonna build a shop where we can go buy bolts, AND SCREWS." Since then I've been walking on air (air), I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair 'cause I'm so excited and I really don't care, I've been waiting since LAST JUNE for this day to finally arrive, I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive 'cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside, well, I hope they oPEN SOON. I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (TO) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending guitar riff) (frenetic lead guitar) In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out I pressed my nose right up against the glass - you know I had to be first IN LINE. Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom, want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house, see those hacksaws? Very, very soon, one of them will be ALL MINE. Guys with nametags walking down the aisles, rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles, brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles, all arranged alphaBETICALLY. And they're doing a promotional stunt, there's a great big purple sign out front that says every 27th customer will get a ball peen HAMMER FREE! I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (short instrumental interlude) (passionate sigh) would you look at all that stuff...? They've got allen wrenches gerbil feeders toilet seats electric heaters trash compactors juice extractor shower rods and water meters walkie-talkies copper wires safety goggles radial tires BB pellets rubber mallets fans and dehumidifiers picture hangers paper cutters waffle irons window shutters paint removers window louvres masking tape and plastic gutters kitchen faucets folding tables weather stripping jumper cables hooks and tackle grout and spackle power foggers spoons and ladles pesticides for fumigation high-performance lubrication metal roofing water proofing multi-purpose insulation air compressors brass connectors wrecking chisels smoke detectors tire gauges hamster cages thermostats and bug deflectors trailer hitch demagnetizers automatic circumcisers tennis rackets angle brackets Duracells and Energizers soffit panels circuit brakers vacuum cleaners coffee makers calculators generators matching salt and pepper shakers. I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (angelic chorus) (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HAAAAARDWARE STOOOOOOOORE (sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending guitar riff) (even more frenetic lead guitar)

[to-elysium-and-beyond]

OH MY GOD, AVALON!

They just built a new hardware store! I just came to visit! Dude!

They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters. Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters. Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires. BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers. Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters. Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters. Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables. Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles. Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication. Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation. Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors. Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors. Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers. Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers. Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers. Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers!

Hey, hey, hey! Hold your horses! You had me at gerbil feeders!

Where is this store you're talking about? I've gotta check it out!

[buradeeznuts]

nia would use the 13 in one shampoo conditioner body wash toothpaste mouthwash deodorant peanut butter gatorade milk tin foil tennis shoes eye drops allen wrenches gerbil feeders toilet seats electric heaters trash compactors juice extractor shower rods and water meters walkie-talkies copper wires safety goggles radial tires BB pellets rubber mallets fans and dehumidifiers picture hangers paper cutters waffle irons window shutters paint removers window louvres masking tape and plastic gutters kitchen faucets folding tables weather stripping jumper cables hooks and tackle grout and spackle power foggers spoons and ladles pesticides for fumigation high-performance lubrication metal roofing water proofing multi-purpose insulation air compressors brass connectors wrecking chisels smoke detectors tire guages hamster cages thermostats and bug deflectors trailer hitch demagnetizers automatic circumcisers tennis rackets angle brackets Duracells and Energizers soffit panels circuit brakers vacuum cleaners coffee makers calculators generators matching salt and pepper shakers