#sadly I can’t bring them in when I get them tame. if I could keep my cats inside I would without a moment of hesitation

[foxgloveinspace]

Me: yeah I’m not that big of a fan of birds.

*loves ravens crows and tufted titmouse’s*

Me: well…. Maybe I’m not a fan of parrots??

[escape-music1432]

With All My Heart

König x Reader

Soulmate AU: Black and white

Y'all this took me a month. A FUCKIN MONTH!

I had so many ideas n' none of them sat right so enjoy the final product 😚

Can you guess the song by the title?

5k words(some swears)

Not edited cuz my brain hurts😵‍💫

I can’t write accents and I’m not apologizing🖕

~~~~••••~~~~••••~~~~

You glanced over at the fit man beside you, the music drowning out the small quips as he spoke, the smell of bunt fries, cigarettes and alcohol filled your nose. The quick gulp of the sweet sour wine itched at your throat as you felt his shoulder gently shove your side. The man's laughter filled the bar air, the nudge causing some wine to spill down the front of your sundress. Your calm composure made the man stiffen up as his laughter died down as you turned your full attention to him. He didn't look much, but with the tightly fitting dress shirt and jeans seemed to compliment just exactly how he was acting. The scruff of his growing beard and small specks of acne proved to you he hadn't been taken care of himself like usual.

Sean has been your long time friends. Sadly within those ten years, adulthood didn't treat either of you well. Sharing an apartment while working double shifts to get enough money for bills, food, and college funds, it wasn't the dream either of you had in the big city. However, it was ideal considering you had taken him in after his parents kicked him out. Sean had it rough, now that the years kept going by faster and faster, so finding the one was becoming increasingly more appealing.

Your hand gently ran along the glass cup, shoving the small shot glass aside as your friend Sean downed them. The alcohol radiating from him in waves, to the point your nose crinkled every time he spoke. Your heart raced every time he giggled, wondering what diabolical thing he could have conjured up. You couldn't control the adult baby that sat next to you, only being able to tame him with talk of another life, a life he wished and yearned for. The night of casual friendly drinking was now a wasteland of drunken rambles and incoherent nonsense.

You couldn't blame Sean, he had a massive crush on someone who barely acknowledged him. He didn't want to admit it but when he had a crush he treated them like trash, making unruly comments about their looks, personality. It was a wonder how his crush dealt with him most days, mostly ignoring his remarks between meetings and disappearing after them. Sean wanted nothing more than to embrace them into his life but here he was crying at the bar, wondering why they didn't talk or put themselves in a position to be in the same vicinity as him.

You knew crushes were inevitable, with the hope of finding that one person to bring color to your life. Some dealt with little to no color while others seem to have every color in their vocabulary. Soulmates weren't something you agreed upon during your 26 years of life, but you somehow found it entertaining watching others on their search. Seeing your friend wail and hiccup was one of the many forms this soul bond made.

His crush happened to be an old friend, Mike. When you hung out he'd ask about Sean wondering what he was like, who he was with, how he knew you. And every time you'd shrug it off wondering why exactly he wanted to know and now a couple months later you realized Mike felt the same for Sean. He was handsome, and the sweetest man you knew beside Sean. However, when these two were together they'd pull the same antics, pushing harder than pulling. During meetings it'd be constant arguments, judgements and annoyance. They could end the scuffle with a simple touch. A touch that both were to stubborn to initiate, the doubt of color not blossoming before their eyes or the simple beauty it will. Either way you weren't keen on finding out, not when Sean was drunk and could barely form words let alone keep his head up.

You tried to quiet Sean down, hushing him like a child and much like one he groaned speaking louder while covering his ears. Someone from across the bar stood up abruptly, the chair they sat on crashed onto the floor. It all happened in slow motion, the glass of wine that you'd been sipping came crashing down onto Sean, his childish wailing ceased as a misty eyed Mike stood at your side fuming with anger. Sean's eyes widened, his expression reading true horror and embarrassment.

"Is that what you really think? I hate you?" Mike's voice darkened as he glared daggers at Sean, his full attention on the drunken man who was now curled against the wall not bothering to even look at Mike any longer. You tried to intervene but was quickly shut down when Mike slammed his hands against the table, nearly pouncing toward the silent man beside you. "Can't say it to my face? Can you?! You're such an idiot."

Mike was much closer now, you could smell the sour stench of vodka on his breath having nothing on the whiskey Sean had been drinking. Sean flinched back, you noticed now that he was shaking uncontrollably. It made your own body tense noticing Sean's breathing was becoming more frantic, his eyes blinded by the pool of tears gushing from them. His dry heaving proved to you what was happening as Mike berated him. You felt anger bubble up inside you, and with the wine beginning to set in, you felt double the amount of courage than usual. In one swift fluent motion you had stood up, your hands coming up to cover Mike's chest as you used all your weight to step forward.

"Back off!" You shoved Mike back using all your strength, he stumbled into a near by table knocking glasses over and getting yelled at from the couple that sat at the table. Sean gasped loudly from behind you while you stood protectively in front of him. The shattered glass littered around your feet, your gaze lingered on the glass as your heart thumped against your chest before you shifted your gaze back up to the drunken man slouched over a table.

Mike grumbled, sitting back up and swiping away the food that tethered onto his shirt from the fall. He didn't even apologize to the couple only sending you a bone chilling glare while Sean fumbled over himself to stand beside you. Mike stood upright, still drunk.

"Just... stop it. We're leaving. Okay?" You huffed angrily, looking away for one second to grab your coat and purse and when you looked back Mike was charging for you. You yelped, barely dodging his sudden attack but he countered you with a quick shove of his shoulder and you were on your ass. He stumbled over himself, landing into the booth you had once sat at. You felt a pain in your side from landing against the shattered plates from before, and without any hesitation you sat back up. The alcohol in your system drowning out all of your other senses.

"What the hell?! You don't even know-" Just before you could finish Mike shot up from his laying position, pointing an accusing finger at you. His nose scrunched up as he glared at you, obviously feeling some sort of resentment toward your words. His cold stare frightened you a bit, not used to this side of him but still you held strong and stood up waiting for him to continue as you tried to replicate his cold stare.

"You wanna know the full story?" His voice shook you to your very core, it seeped of venom and a bit of worry. You didn't make a sound or any movement, only fixing your eyes onto him signaling for him to continue as you waited. However, the fearful look in Sean's eyes concerned you, wondering what exactly Mike could say that would strike so much fear into him.

"Fine. Sean and I are soulmates big whoop! But guess what? He shot me down, why you ask? Well it's because he's straight, and here he is telling you a sad sap story making me the bad guy." You looked over to Sean who looked more ashamed by the second, Mike's words eating away at him in more ways than one.

"Why would me being a guy matter?! I spent my life dreaming of the day my soulmate would embrace me and love me, yet here we are! It's just not fair. Why can't you love me... what did I do... shit." Mike's words softened at the end, the sound of a broken man never ceased to amaze you. You knew deep down what the problem was, and Sean was too afraid to admit it.

You watched as Mike curled in on himself, slipping onto the ground his hands coming up to cover his face. You could tell it was something he'd been holding in for awhile. The defeated look he had only confirmed that, and it made your heart ache with the sniffles and tears falling from his eyes.

You slouched your shoulders, looking around at the prying eyes before walked toward Sean. Your hand gently came into contact with his shoulder and when it did you had startled him. His eyes glancing from you to Mike, fresh tears beginning to brim at the edge of his eyes.

"Come on. Let's go." You didn't say another word as you helped lift him up, helping him trudge through the bar not wanting to cause any more trouble.

You wrapped your coat snuggly around yourself, making sure to keep close to Sean. His wobbling and teetering walk had you on mom mode, hoping he wouldn't fall over or hit his head. You opened the bar door, following Sean outside. When the cold air hit you, you felt better. The adrenaline began to ware off, and the awkwardness began to set in. You hated times like these, when a serious conversation needed to be made but you were patiently waiting until the next crosswalk to even consider speaking.

You took a deep breath in, "Sean..."

He stiffened up slightly at the sound of his name, his steps beside yours stopped abruptly. You stopped too, turning to face him. You could see his defeated expression clearly, the sadness edged into every wrinkle of his forehead.

"Why didn't you tell me Mike was your soulmate? Is it because of-" You felt your words get caught in your throat at Sean's sinking figure, he balanced himself on the heels of his feet as he curled up. His arms resting against his knees as he nodded his head, already knowing what you were going to say.

"Oh Sean... they aren't here. They can't hurt you. Mike wouldn't hurt you, damnit, he'd never lay a finger on you..." You leaned down toward him, running your hand against his back to soothe his muffled sobs.

"I know, but it's so hard. It's been years (y/n). Years! My parents hurting me just because of my sexuality, the men I've slept with. I was so scared when I found out it was actually Mike." Sean leaned into your touch, letting himself unravel before you. His repressed emotions finally coming to surface.

You sat with him as he told you the story, the sudden touch a few months back. The colors blossoming in his vision, the beauty of it all. The fear, the hatred, the resentment, the yearning, the jealousy. All happening in the span of a few seconds from a single touch. It was painful as much as it was beautiful, and the absolute sadness in Mike's eyes when Sean told him he couldn't be with him. It was like you were there, experiencing the most heartbreaking moment. The moment when both men were shattered with the realization life wasn't so fair. In Sean's situation it was becoming unbearably obvious he was still traumatized from his high school years, the years he'd spent living with you after his parents kick him out.

"Sean, it's not going to be like that. Mike doesn't understand what happened before you two met. He has the right to know. I would want to know why my soulmate wouldn't want to be with me, wouldn't you?" Something in Sean clicked as he stared at you, his expression softening as he nodded along to your question.

"You're right, but after tonight I don't think he'll want to see me again." Once again he sunk back into that dark place inside his mind.

"I'm sure I can talk some sense into that big lug of yours." You nudged his shoulder slightly, giving him a playful smile.

Sean gave you a weak smile, his mouth opened to speak but both of you froze. The rushed footsteps from afar began coming toward you. You had immediately turned your attention to the unknown figure sprinting down the sidewalk. Sean heard them too, immediately drying up his tears and standing beside you. You thought it was Mike, but as the figure came closer you realized they were much, much taller than Mike was. Literally towering over you, like a skyscraper. Their hoodie and face mask concealing their identity while you reached for your bag only to feel it disappear into thin air as the person stood in front of you. Their chest puffing in and out like they had run a marathon. They closed the distance between you. Your hand coming up to Sean's chest to keep a good foot between you and the mysterious person.

Your neck hurt from how far you had to lean back to look up at them, "Can I help you?"

The person took a deep breath in, hunching over slightly to catch their breath. "Excuse me, das Fräulein. You left zis... Sorry if I startled you, I seen you leave and zought-"

The man looked mysterious but the way he spoke so softly, and the way the skin on the side of his eyes crinkled with his smiling eyes you realized your mistake in judgment. His words trailed off into the wind as you looked at the purse he was carrying. You noticed the way his fingers poked out from the gloves he wore, his hand nearly engulfing the bag as he leaned down slightly as he nudged the bag out to you. He made himself smaller, taking up as little space to give you the most comfort. It was odd but heart warming at the simple gesture. The more you looked at the purse the more you began to realized it was your purse, dumbfounded you stuttered over yourself realizing what the man was doing.

"Oh... Oh shit! Thank you sir, thank you so much..." You sheepishly reached out for your bag, your words becoming muffled as you nicked your fingers against his.

The soft grip you had on your purse loosened. You blinked once, then twice wondering why your vision began to blur. The small specks began to cloud your vision like television static. With each passing second they began to haze into what you can only call color. The sound of your bag hitting concrete made you jump in fright as the once dull world spouted in colors you had no name for. The reds, blues, and yellows formed different shades and hues all together. You were so ecstatic, surprised and frightened all at the same time. The light from signs shined brightly in neon color, and even the skin upon your body glowed dimly.

"Mein Gott," His voice rang through the chilly air, his thick accent making your ears tingle.

Did he always have an accent, you couldn't remember. The past events becoming nothing but a blur of colors clouding each and every past event. Life flashed before your eyes surrounding each moment in sprouts of golden rays of sunshine, and purple hues of dusk. Your mind buzzed as your heart began to thumped loudly against your chest, beating so roughly you could hear it pound against your ear drums. The stutter of your words and shallow breaths creating a symphony with your racing mind and heart, soothing any worry but strumming a new found feeling.

You looked up at the tower of a man, examining him. His facial expression couldn't be seen behind the black medical mask, his dark gray hoodie helping in obstructing his features. You could tell, from the widened eyes and frantic movement, that he was trying hard to piece together what you had so easily accepted. The new feeling becoming increasingly more prominent as he tripped over himself to step back and look at the world that was once black and white.

Looking at his body language and ogling eyes, you knew this feeling was none other than philophobia. You've heard of it being a side effect of finding your soulmate, a feeling that wasn't unusual but not often heard of. You pieced together the moment this phobia affected you. After hearing Sean's story and seeing Mike's expression, it struck you the wrong way. You knew it would hurt when you witnessed their heart break.

Those thoughts kept racing through your mind, tainting any happy emotion you once felt. Your body moved on its own as you quickly snatched up your bag and turning toward Sean, his facial expression filled with worry as you laced your fingers with his. Sean couldn't even get a word in as you pulled him to keep in step with you.

"H-Hey vait!? Liebe?" The mans words were gut wrenching as you kept walking, your eyes misty from the sudden rush of fear and adrenaline.

Your emotions were going haywire, the anxiety itching at your body as you began to jog but remembering the pain in the mans eyes began to break your heart even more. You began sprinting toward your apartment, hoping you could run from the feeling racing after you. Sean surprisingly kept up with you, his screaming questions fell on deaf ears. Only when you apartment door shut behind you, were you finally able to breathe. The tears finally beginning to fall passed your lashes and stream down your cheeks, your hiccups turning into loud sobs as you fell onto the floor covering your eyes with your jacket sleeve.

Sean watched in horror as you broke down. He stood awkwardly for what felt like forever, not making a sound or moving an inch. His mind raced, not only did Mike confess everything but something happened to you while talking to that German man. He couldn't wrap his mind around it, all he knew was he couldn't bare to see you shivering from the cold or watch your knuckles turn white as you gripped your hair. It reminded him of when he first met Mike, the touch was so hypnotizing yet so existential. He understood your pain.

Sean sunk down next to you, his hands gently running over the back of the (f/c) jacket you wore. He could feel the icy pins against his fingertips as he tried his best to comb your hair back, his hands gently holding your own. The words he wanted you to hear couldn't surface, not when you looked up at him with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. Your cheeks were red from the cold, small specs of snot forming at the bottom of your nose as you sniffled and wiped away at your drenched face.

"Are you okay?" He couldn't even speak clearly as his words caught in his throat. Sean knew he was going to cry again, watching as you shook your head. You nuzzled into his arm while continuing to sniff and sob. He knew what you were feeling, happy he could be useful for once.

"He's the one, wasn't he?" Sean's words rang in your ears.

Once again you nodded, trying your best to keep still as your muffled cries bounced off the apartment walls, keeping you from ever finding the words you needed to speak. Sean chuckled, tears beginning to slip down his cheeks. His chuckling turned into a fit of crying laughter as he engulfed you in a hug, rocking you back and forth and shushing you.

~

It had been months with no sign of the mystery man. You assumed he was visiting for only a few days, shooting your chances of meeting him down to a slim 0.1% chance and with no way of knowing for sure, those numbers dropped further. Most days went by without fault, enjoying the new perspective and sights. While other days you couldn't even close your eyes without being blinded by the colors around you, and the existential crisis creeping up your spin at every waking moment.

Sean had yet to talk to Mike, leaving you both in a spiraling loop of love and fear, yearning yet repressing. However, you were envious Sean got to see Mike nearly everyday, while you had no hope of finding the German man again. You tried to remember more details about him besides his height and kindness.

The days continued to pass in a blur, Mike and Sean deciding to take it slow not denying nor establishing their relationship. All was looking up with your promotion and having your two friends back, but the ache in your chest never ceased.

"Can I get another glass, please?" You waved your empty wine glass at the waiter, who gave you an annoyed look but forced a smile as you hummed in delight at the amber liquid filling the glass.

"Slow down, (y/n)..." Sean's cautious words flew passed your head as you fumbled the fork in your hand, the small bits of steak falling back onto your plate as you glared at the inanimate object.

Sean nudged your side slightly as you hummed, still focused on the fork between your fingers to keep it steady. Mike chuckled at your childish behavior while Sean rubbed his temple in frustration.

"Come on, do you need me to feed you?" His words repeated in your head as you chuckled, leaning against his shoulder playfully. Before laughing devilishly as you finally got the piece of meat onto your utensil. "I think I can do it myself dad."

You finally agreed to a night out as a third wheel so Sean and Mike could go on a date, which was a mistake if you asked Sean. However, you enjoyed the night of laughter and lighthearted jokes. It silenced the voices and pains in your chest, something you needed after stressing for months. Sean knew this, just as much as Mike. It was kind of funny to watch them sneak glances and gentle touches, something that soothed the 'unknown feeling' according to Sean.

"Can you guys get a room, I don't need to be here for this." Your drunken giggle made both of them jump in place as you watched Sean's expression turn from annoyance to sympathy. It made your stomach turn, not in a good way either. Something in you told you to leave, it must have been the rumble in your stomach and the salty taste on your tongue as saliva began to fill your mouth.

Without any warning you shimmied out of the booth, making your way to the bathroom but stopping midway to glance back to your friend. His blue eyes shined brighter when he looked into the oak eyes admiring him. His dirty blonde hair slicked back and the blue dress shirt complimenting his features. It wasn't to long ago when all those colors were black and white, odd shades of grey that had no meaning. The world around you was surreal, hypnotic, a dream.

You leaned against the bathroom sink to rinse off your face, the cold water hiding the stray tears that slipped passed your eyes. Your heart thumped against your ears, the line between panic and attack becoming increasingly prominent. The knock at the bathroom door made your body calm, only focusing on the voice from the other side.

You walked out of the bathroom, a quick apology to the lady giving you an annoyed glance before she scurried into the room. Your racing thoughts ceased before adrenaline kicked in, the warmth radiating at your finger tips increased as you rounded the corner. Your heart dropped, seeing a familiar hunched over figure standing by your booth. Sean and Mike making quick conversation with the towering man as you stood dead in your tracks. It couldn't be, your mind couldn't accept it. He was here, after all the wasted energy looking for him, he was here.

You felt your body go numb, admiring the way he slouched and gestured with his large hands. Your heart skipped a beat noticing the light brown hai hair, the way it sat curled at his shoulders. The jacket he wore was nowhere in sight, for a moment you questioned if it really was him. You could see the scruff of a beard at his chin, the familiar black medical mask pulled down to his neck gently tugging his ears down as he spoke. Then it happened, he smiled. His teeth showed through the thin of his chapped lips, you narrowed your gaze on his blue eyes watching the way the corner of them crinkled. A chill ran down your spin as you shuddered, loving the familiar warmth at the pit of your stomach. It really was him...

You watched as Sean turned his gaze toward you, a warm smile and loving gaze. It was to good to be true. Sean waved you over, at the sudden change of Sean's attention the man turned his attention toward you. You felt that same feeling from before. The existential crisis crawled down your spine in a bone chilling realization, it wasn't a dream. His soft gaze making you putty where you stood, his hand coming up to wave at you in a joyful manner. You couldn't deny the way your heart soared at his sweetness, nor could you control the way your body moved toward him.

Mesmerizing, that's the best way you could describe him. He pulled you in without even trying, capturing you in bliss at a single glance. Before you knew it you were standing in front of him, looking up at his nervous expression. His gaze was still soft as he stared down at you, the corners of his mouth twitched like he was fighting a large smile.

"Hello, Liebe. I'm happy to see you again." His voice was soft as silk as his small exhale of breath littered across your face.

Your nose scrunched at the faint hint of alcohol and fruit on his breath, finding the scent welcoming. You inhaled so sharply you could see him stiffen at the sound, you must have scared him. Without any warning, you quickly stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him. He let out a surprised sound at your loving embrace, his arms stiffening at his sides. You could feel the philophobia crawling around your mind, however, you kept your hold against him not letting go. Your hands gently clasping together as you nuzzled your face into the place between his stomach and chest. Loving the way your body melted into his.

You felt his finger tips tickle your back as his palms followed, one hand barely below your bra strap and the other nestled against the messy length of your hair. You felt the existential feeling subside.

"I looked for you everywhere. I'm so glad I finally find you uh..." your words drowned into the fabric of his long sleeve shirt, the muscles on his forearms flexed slightly as he tightened his grip.

"König, you can call me König." He spoke so softly, feeling the rumble of each syllable against your ear as he spoke.

"It's nice to finally meet you König-again I mean-we-I'm-" You felt his body bounce as he chuckled, cutting you off as you began to blush from embarrassment.

"(Y/n), right? Your friend Sean mentioned your name earlier. Sorry-" his words trailed off as you enjoyed his rambling, loving every few accented words that layered thick in German slang.

You nodded your head as you released your grip from around him, feeling your face hurt from how hard you were smiling. He seemed to have a similar problem as he tried his best to hide his smile by lifting up his mask. His teeth showing just before he turned his head away from nervousness.

König couldn't keep his eyes off the way you swayed back and forth on your heels, your nervous chatter being music to his ears as you pointed toward Sean and Mike. He couldn't help remembering the day he met you, watching from afar as you comforted a crying friend. The way you rolled your eyes and smiled playfully, or how your laughter would harmonize with the music playing.

He was going to be your savior when Mike had threatened you and Sean, but before he could even stand you had stopped him dead in his tracks. The way your once calm composure was quickly blinded by a hidden rage. The way you were quick on your feet to shove Mike back and using such force it had made his heart jump. He could see the fear in your eyes but the way you stood tall and confident he was at a complete loss for words with your courage. He couldn't deny he was envious of that.

Even when Mike charged for you, you were quick on your feet in dodging his attack, your sundress flowed along your curves perfectly. But you had let your guard down when Mike countered you with a shove of his shoulder. He just about lost his shit when he stood from his seat, his hands balling into fists but you surprised him again with the way you had wiped away the dust off your dress when you stood back up, that familiar fire in your eyes ready to take another hit protecting someone dear.

You were perfect in every angle, even when he had frightened you while giving back your purse. The warmth that radiated through his entire body when your hands touched, the world he once knew crumbled into pigments he was absolutely frightened to see. As much as he felt excitement he was also frightened at the sudden change in a new world. The fear didn't last long when he realized you were his soulmate, some good news he needed that day but when he seen the tears threatening to spill down your face or when you turned to run from him, his heart broke. Scared he had done something wrong or scared you off with how he looked, he wasn't stupid he knew he intimidated people with his height.

The existential crisis started right after he left your city, that night he laid awake thinking of you. When he did finally get some sleep you were dancing around his dreams with gentle touches and soft sounds, his heart would race at every breath and word your spoke. He couldn't drown you out, only when the blood littered across his mask and coated his gloves, only then was he able to drown you out. It wasn't healthy, it wasn't okay to become more of a blood lust beast when all he wanted was to be in your presence again.

When he was finally came back he sat in a hot shower hoping a night at the bar would keep his mind away from your tear stained face and tuning figure. Deep down he prayed he'd run into you again, even if it took his entire stay to get even a glimpse of you. But seeing you here, seeing a smile instead of tears was what he needed, it was what he ached for.

He couldn't fall for you more, watching at you tucked your flower covered sundress against the back of your thighs. Your hand gently tapping the spot beside you with a welcoming smile that had his heart melting. Even if you had been scared, he was taken away by the fact you looked for him after all this time. You were holding his hand in your own as you rolled your eyes at Sean's playful jokes and stories of your high school years.

He didn't know if you felt the same but having you leaning against his arm made his mind go crazy, his heart thumped against his chest when you looked up at him waiting for him to speak.

"König? You okay?" Your voice was smooth as silk as you linked your arm with his.

Your facial expression had him putty in your hands, the way your brows knitted together in worry and the way your lips formed in a slight tight lipped smile. He couldn't help but gently push the few strands of hair out of your face, feeling your cheeks burn against his finger tips. You melted into his touch as you leaned into the palm of his hand and looking up at him with those starry eyes.

In that moment König was finally grounded again.

~~~~••••~~~~••••~~~~

If this flops I'm never writing again💀

Spicy Pt 2 tho👀

[stargazer-balladeer]

Adopting a Child [Genshin Impact]

Characters Included: Albedo, La Signora & Scaramouche

Notes: All of the character’s I have least experienced with all in one post :D alright— let’s see how this’ll go- also,, hope they aren’t too OOC ;;w;; (and yes,, i made this whole hc bc of la signora- got a problem with it? HAHAHA) hope ya’ll like this!

Additional Information: You aren’t their kid. Just a random kid they found in the street who decided to follow them until they adopted you as their own :D

Reader’s Gender: Neutral

Warning: me cursing like usual 😃

Dedicated to: @meepmonster7 :D

Albedo

For some reason, I can see him knowing how to handle a child, since he takes care of Klee as well- so when it comes to taking care of you, he’s practically a natural at it.

At first, he’ll be a bit turned off by you since he sees you as a bit of a nuisance. But over time, you’ll grow on him. He’ll come to love you as his own-

As an artist man himself, He teaches you how to draw. From plant, to animal, to people. He teaches you the techniques he used for drawing. You bet that he loves every drawing you gave to him, even if its a stickman, this man’ll treasure and cherish it with his life-

This man loves spoiling you with things, it got to the point where you didn’t know how to use all of the things he’s given to you. Sometimes, Jean and Sucrose has come in and told him to stop spoiling you too much-

Albedo’s a scientist right? Head scientist, alchemist, whatever. So you bet your ass that he’ll be teaching you some alchemy at such a young age- bro,, u can be the next einstein with how complicated things he’s teaching you-

Whenever he has free time, he loves spending it with you. He would share his findings with you, even though you can’t understand what he’s saying, he would still tell you. Sometimes, he would put on a show for you while telling stories using his vision and alchemy- he would always smile at your awestruck face as he tells the tale.

Playdates with Klee is a must- he would sometimes leave you under the Knights of Favonius’ care and you’ll be found playing with Klee. At first, he’s worried since he knew what Klee’s like. But if Jean decided its okay, then its okay.

If ever you were attack or gone missing, Albedo would be furious and immediately go to you or search for you. The ones who stole you away or attack you no longer exist btw 👀

Overall, even though you suddenly came to his life and became his unexpected child, he would love you as his own.

La Signora

La Signora is a fucking natural at taking care of a child, change my mind 🤧🙃. Like if a child is crying and can’t be tame, just drag her over and that child would stop crying- maybe its bc she has a motherly aura around her (besides the fact that she almost kills Venti- 😃)

I think she willingly adopts you, not bc she’s obligated. She would guess that it’s because of her motherly instinct inside her when she finds you following her- she takes you in without any hesitation-

“But.. La Signora-“

“Even if you beg in front of me, my answer will not change. I will take this child as my own and none of you can stop me-“

La Signora would take you everywhere with her, but if its a mission that requires some.. blood, that’s the time where she wouldn’t bring you. She would drop you in the Northland Bank for a while before coming back to pick you up. She would let you explore the area since she knows that children likes to venture around new areas-

As much as La Signora is ruthless to the people around her, she would undoubtedly be soft towards you. Like she’ll be like medusa one second then the next she’ll be gushing at you-

She is the kind of woman that shields you from the world, who would protect your innocence than destroy it. So, in order to protect it, she wouldn’t tell you about her profession. All she would say is, “Mother is doing some secret business work.”

La Signora would spoil you rotten, whether from gifts or affections. If you want something, it would be given to you. She’s really rich, ya know? 👀 she loves carrying you, especially during times where she can cover your eyes- 👀

Even though she spoils you, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be hard on you. If you do something she doesn’t like, she would punish you. She would also train you with your desired weapon, stating that it would help to protect yourself when she can’t-

I feel like she would let you meet her fellow Fatui Harbingers, but its not like their close with one another- 👀 but Childe is one Harbinger that you often play with. Even though he hates La Signora, he wouldn’t deny that he enjoy playing with you- so you can be found either with La Signora or with Childe-

If you ever get attack or was taken away, you can bet that La Signora is livid- furious- and she’ll hunt down whoever attacked you or decided to kidnap you. And she would NOT show mercy.

Overall, she would treat you as her own and would give you the world if she could- she would protect you from the darkness of the world. Whatever it takes..

Scaramouche

Ha! Scaramouche with a child? Everyone is doubtful at best. He was already a whiny bitch. It’s not a wise decision to give him a kid- he can hardly care for his subordinate, what about a fucking kid-?!

You can tell Scaramouche despised your presence just from his face alone. Even as days and months go by, he would still despise you. But if you manage to rub off on him by staying with him for a year or two, he would start accepting your presence… slowly. He would still make that disgusted face whenever you’re around, but you can tell he’s soften around you and acknowledges your presence-

Scaramouche would be hard towards you, even if you’re a kid, he would still treat you just like he treats everyone. But to those people who knew him well (like Childe, Signora and other Harbingers-), they could tell Scaramouche is going easy with you-

Scaramouche isn’t that affectionate so he wouldn’t spoil you with affections or gifts, but he tries. He’ll leave some trinkets he found while he’s out and about in front of you before leaving promptly- (i swear he’s a tsun-tsun :3-) this cycle would continue even as years go by.

Scaramouche would train you harshly and isn’t afraid to force open your eyes to the harshness of reality- just bc ur a kid doesn’t mean ur an exception to the rules of reality. (“You’ve got no choice but to accept it as it is.” Scaramouche said, almost sadly while staring as someone was killed in front of you two-).

He would let you play with Childe (Childe is good with kids, okay? He has siblings for Teyvat’s sake-). He might as well give you to Childe with how often you are seem with the hydro-user instead of the 6th Harbinger- but you would always go back to Scaramouche.

Everyone would always ask you how you handle the harshness of Scaramouche (it’s no secret that he’s the least liked Harbinger-), but your response is always the same- “because I love him! He’s my older brother!” (Whilst Scaramouche is blushing behind the wall-).

Scaramouche is protective of you, believe it or not. So if you are with him while he’s outside, he’ll keep you close with him and doesn’t allow you to wander off. If you do wander off, he would panic as he searches for you. He would most definitely scream at you before hugging you- (he’s relieved that you’re unharm- 👀)

If you’re being attacked or taken away, everyone in the Fatui would be so scared of him as he goes out to search for you. If you’re kidnapped, he would let out a search party. And they aren’t allowed to be back unless you are with them (unless they want to get some beating from him-). He would immediately kill whoever attacked you or kidnapped you, even if you’re there to witness it, he would still kill them.

Scaramouche, overall, isn’t perfect. Afterall, he still despised you even after years go by- but he’s grown attached to you. Just,, be patient with him and continue to love him.

[x] Main Page || [x] Mondstadt Page || [x] Fatui Harbingers Page

[littlemisslipbalm]

Little Border Town

Summary: It begins with a man and a woman, as it always seems to. One lives in France and the other lives in Italy, technically, but they’re also neighbors. Various issues arise between these two and they can’t ever seem to see eye to eye on anything. Will they ever move past their petty fighting or is the little town they live in doomed to only gossip about what Harry and Y/N are fighting about today?

AKA: Harry and Y/N are neighbors that fight all the time, the whole town wants to know when they’ll just fuck. 

Featuring italrry as well as mustachrry! and running italrry... I hope y’all like! this is just part one, so much more is in store so pls let me know what you think :) lots of love - first fic that’s not named from a quote said in the story I’m shook!! the growth, the range...she has it apparently! side note: i had to change the gif from italrry/mustachrry bc something is whack with the formatting and either the keep reading or the title keeps disappearing so i tried some stuff to resolve it *sobbing*

Word Count: 8.5k | Warnings: swearing, mentions of relatives death, bickering, otherwise tame for now?

Pt. 2

-

There’s a little town that straddles the border between Italy and France. It’s just a little ways from Nice on the French side and Ventimiglia on the Italian side. The population is rather small and the tourists who come are usually either returners or are very very lost. One street you’re in France and the next you’re in Italy. It can be confusing to newcomers, but the locals love it -- for the most part. These streets are easily delineating as French or Italian by the little country flags that hang above all the shops or in the windows.

It’s a coastal town with cobblestone everywhere and bright painted buildings. The water is a soft blue and the wind barely ever brings any waves greater than a foot high. There’s a shop for everything and it seems to be frozen in the past from the outside, thankfully if you step into the tiny bed and breakfast there is wifi. The sun almost always shines down on this sweet piece of paradise, the winter does however bring gusting winds and thunderstorms. Those storms rattle the little town and afterwards you’ll find the residents picking up the pieces that have fallen off the shops.

Now, this little border town, with its streets separated by French and Italian customs, well almost all of them, it seems imperative to mention. There, in the exact middle of the little town, is one street that is split down the middle, half in France and half in Italy. The locals from the French and the Italian sides love that street the most because it has this certain dynamic spark of change that brings them together, makes them unique. Except for two locals that seemingly hate this street. These two locals aren’t actually true locals either. They both moved there a couple years ago.

Harry, from the Italian side, owns the shoemaker and repair shop. He hailed from England and moved to the little town when his great uncle, Joe, had sent him a letter pleading for him to take over his shop so that he could retire. Harry, ever the traveler, hopped on the next flight out to Italy and then traversed by train and bus until he reached his Joe’s home. Like most of the shops, there was a living space above the shop area. Harry lived there with Joe until he passed away a few years back leaving Harry to tend the store alone. He didn’t mind too much, being left there alone. He had always loved Italy and to get to live in the countryside in a little cobblestone town and own a shop was a dream come true. After living there for two years, he had bought a sailboat that he would take out when the shop was closed. He also had bought himself a motorcycle that he would ride to the next greatest city if he was ever in dire need of more of a nightlife as a 26 year old. He loved it, his own slice of paradise… except for his thorn in his side.

Y/N, from the French side, owns the bookstore, which carries lots of vintage books and records. She had moved there after college. In school, she had studied French and taken a year abroad in Paris and had traveled down to Nice for a month. While in Nice she had made a few friends and one of them had come from the little border town. They had insisted they all go there for a weekend. When Y/N stepped foot onto the street she now lived on a few years before, she fell in love. Seeing the little Italian and French flags in the windows and potted plants with a view of the sea had been so endearing to her.

She was drawn to the bookshop and had chatted up the old French woman who ran it. The woman had reminded Y/N of someone but she couldn’t quite place her finger on it. It was strange for her because she often found these connections with older people, she felt like she had known this woman her whole life. Y/N went back into the store the next two days she was there to talk to the woman again, Marie, she had learned. Before she left the little town she left her number with Marie and kept in some contact with her. After about a year though, their communication fell off. Y/N was sad but understood that life can be busy for people and that she obviously wasn’t the most important woman in the little border town bookkeeper’s life. Or so she thought. In the middle of the summer after she graduated college, Y/N was backpacking through Iceland and got a call from who she assumed was Marie. She was ecstatic and answered the call immediately. Sadly, it wasn’t Marie, instead a friend who had been given her will to execute. In her will she had left Y/N the bookshop. Her reasoning was similar to why Y/N had liked Marie so much, she said that Y/N had reminded her of her sister who had died unexpectedly in her teenage years. Being so far from home at the time and completely consumed with love and loss, Y/N had agreed to take over the shop without any hesitation.

She got home and informed her parents of her choice and moved to the little border town as soon as she could. She lived in the little area above the shop that Marie had also gifted to her and she tended the shop downstairs. The living area hadn’t really been cleaned out and Y/N had found an old collection of vinyls in the corner of the bedroom. As much as she wanted to keep them to herself, she thought it would be a good addition to the shop and had made a section for records in memory of Marie. She loved France and the coast, she bought a little car and would drive to Nice every so often or to the more sandy beaches along the French coast. It was quiet and different from the life she had maybe expected, but taking over a bookshop because a kind stranger had gifted it to you as one of their dying wishes wasn’t something Y/N could ever turn down. Her soul was too sweet. At least it was for most people, not for her neighbor though.

Her neighbor was the shoemaker, Harry. Their shops lived against one another even though he was on the Italian side and she was on the French. They were located exactly at the split between France and Italy. With less than a foot between the buildings, they saw a lot of each other. On their first interaction, Y/N had seen too much of her neighbor, meaning she had seen all of him. Their shops were similar to track homes, meaning they were built completely the same only mirrored. This meant that the windows of their bedrooms matched up exactly, she wondered who had thought that was a good idea after her first night. When Y/N had first moved in it was August, she left her window open and without the shade down to let as much fresh cool air in as possible. With her jet lag, she had found herself wide awake at about three am. Pacing around her room in the pink silk tank dress she had decided to sleep in, her eyes froze on her window - or rather, who she saw through her window. The light from her room and the moon were strong enough to illuminate the tanned and tattooed skin of the naked man in the room next to her. He held a bowl in his large hands that he seemed to be spooning cereal into his mouth from.

His half-lidded eyes flickered to the light coming from the place next door. The bookshop had been closed all summer and no one had been living in the upper area for a little longer than that so he had gotten into the habit of leaving his window open. He was half drunk after stumbling his way home from the tiny bar down the street. He had decided a naked cereal run would be a good idea to tide over his cravings. But upon seeing the girl wearing lingerie a mere two feet away from him, separated by the screens on their open windows, he realized that wasn’t actually true. His eyes widened only slightly as he saw her, his drunkenness allowing him to keep his blushing to a minimum. His drunken confidence kept him from covering himself as he lifted a single brow and made a salute with his spoon hand before going back to his bed.

She stayed at the window for a moment after the naked man disappeared and then quickly ran back to her bed. She shut off her light and tried not to think about everything she had seen. She tried to not think about his toned arms that flexed as he moved around his food, or the tattoos that lined every part of his body (the tiger and ferns seared into her mind specifically), or his tousled chestnut hair, or his searing green eyes, or the full mustache that held a little milk from his cereal. She tried, she really did. But how was she supposed to face her neighbor ever again after that. Maybe he wasn’t her neighbor, she reasoned, maybe he was an acquaintance her neighbor had just spent the night with. That wouldn’t be better! Her hands grabbed her other pillow and shoved it over her face trying to force herself to go to bed.

The next day, she had been working out front of the bookshop, beginning to repaint the windowsills of the shop with some navy paint she had found in the back to give it an updated look. It was early and she hadn’t expected to see anyone at all. Her jet lag still ailed her and caused her to be up bright and early. This was her second run in with the shoemaker, this time though, both to her dismay and joy, he was fully clothed. He wasn’t watching where he was going and almost toppled the both of them over as he left his store front, locked the door behind him, and then set off down the street. His large body, covered in short black running shorts and a mesh grey tank top, bumped into her almost immediately. He was still fiddling with his music on his phone as he began his run. She jumped back and dropped the paintbrush from her hand. She yelped as his body collided with hers and he stopped in his tracks. His eyes scanned her and took in the light wash cuffed jeans and moss ribbed tank top she was wearing. They widened when he recognized her face, the expression of shock similar to that of last night when she had seen him in his bedroom. He smirked and took out one of his earbuds. She grabbed her paintbrush from the ground as he extended his hand to her.

“I’m Harry,” his hand is greeted with hers. He speaks to her in English and she decides it’s probably best to follow along with whatever someone else began with. She worried that she’d run into a lot of Italians who didn’t know French or English and she’d have some trouble. His eyes flicker to the bits of blue already littered on her hands and in her hair.

“Y/N.” She nods, avoiding eye contact with the man she had already seen too much of. At least he’s not your neighbor’s lover, he’s just your neighbor. She also notices how he doesn’t apologize for running into her.

“You were spying on me last night,” his hand returns to his side and his smile quirks up again as he watches her face flush. His nicely groomed mustache twitches, trying to contain his laughter.

“I was not!” She finally looks up at the taller man and takes in his tanned face that is even more attractive in the morning light and up so close. The hat he wears is funny, a blue trucker’s hat that read “If you ain’t a fisherman, you ain’t shit!”, and she would laugh if she couldn’t already tell he was going to be extremely annoying.

His smirk continues and he barks out a laugh. He removes his sunglasses to really look at her now. “It’s alright, I work hard for this,” he gestures to his body, “glad someone appreciates it. Just means I’ll need to be installing a shade now, I guess.”

“You don’t have a shade and you walk around your room naked?” She ignores his first bit of conversation. She can’t think about his body or how it had looked last night. She sets down her paintbrush and folds her arms across her chest, trying to figure the man in front of her out.

“No… but it’s not all my fault. You had your shade open too! Who’s willingly up at that time of night anyway? I was just fixing myself a snack after the pub.” He raises his brows triumphantly at her, feeling confident that he has gotten the upperhand in the conversation.

She narrows her eyes at him as she finally registers that his accent isn’t Italian or French. He’s British and she wonders what he’s done to get himself in this little border town. He also seems to own the shop beside her since he locked the door behind him. He was peculiar, but she couldn’t dwell on what she thought about him since he had just accused her of being a peeping tom.

“Someone is up at that hour because she just moved and has terrible jet lag and can’t sleep. The place has been completely closed up for months and I needed to get as much cool air in as possible before the hot day. That’s why I was up and that’s why my shade wasn’t down.” She stands up straighter and rolls her eyes at him, muttering something in French to herself about annoying men. She smiles to herself when Harry doesn’t seem to understand. He obviously can tell she said something, but he doesn’t know exactly what. He could understand a good bit of French and he could speak some, but if someone spoke quickly and quietly, like she had just done, he wouldn’t be able to make it out. He figured it was something rude, though, with the way she sounds and begins to turn from him.

“Are you here to stay?”

“Yes.”

“Well, welcome to the best place in the world. It was so nice, two countries couldn’t decide who got to keep it and decided to split it.”

His arm sweeps out around him, gesturing to the street around him. She smiles up at him before following his arms movement. His arm had more tattoos than she had realized from her eyeful last night. She noticed the intricacies of all the black ink and again she had a million questions that she had to keep to herself. He was arrogant, conceited, impatient and a little bit odd and she knew all of this after barely one conversation. At least they could agree on one thing, they loved this town.

He looked back at her after scanning the street and saw her smiling in wonderment at everything around her. This brought a fleeting genuine smile to his face, knowing she was happy to be there. He had known Marie and was sad to see her go less than a year after his great uncle. He had always thought that Marie and Joe were both secretly pining over each other. Constantly stopping into each other’s shops and waving from their windows at each other, but Joe had always shaken his head at Harry when he mentioned it.

His smile faded when her eyes came back to his fac face face. Her smile disappeared as well. “Right, so, see you around…?” He said, already forgetting her name. She scoffs when she realizes what happened and then repeats her name. He nods curtly before replacing his sunglasses and single airpod and starts running again. She calls after him, “Thanks for the apology!” and then mutters to herself, “le con” knowing she shouldn’t shout that down the street where other people speak French. He doesn’t hear any part of it, his music up high enough to drown out the sounds of the world.

-

Y/N settled into the bookshop fairly easily, but she never failed to mention how unhelpful Harry had been:

“Yes, well, it’s been going pretty good...except for this one man. Well, I’d hardly call him a man -  a boy. My neighbor, actually, he owns the shoe shop...no, nevermind that, he practically made it his mission to make my move the hardest thing in the world...Harry -- yes, that’s his name, Mama… well I don’t know, It’s just Harry. - it doesn’t matter! He’s been in my way at every turn… yes, both physically and metaphorically...I’m not kidding! And I’m not being dramatic… Well, It was nice talking to you. Love you, talk soon.”

That was her first telephone conversation with her mother since arriving in the little town. Maybe ten days after she arrived. Naturally, she had it in the downstairs area of her home, the bookstore. And naturally, Harry had wandered in, to discuss one of their shared planters, and overheard her entire side of the conversation and gathered the rest from his own imagination. When she had laid eyes on him after setting down her phone, she rolled her eyes at the smirking Chesire cat look on his face.

“You would be the kind of man to eavesdrop, hm?” She restacked a group of books that were already in order.

“Thought I was a boy?” his smirk remained on his face. He strided closer to the counter she stood behind.

“Like I said...What can I help you with?” Her voice drips with venom as she finally turns her eyes to look at Harry. His smirk still remains on his face now that she is making eye contact with him. He’s clad in a t-shirt that has some baseball team on it with burgundy corduroy flared jeans. She notices the strain of the shirt over his chest and biceps and avoids the scoff of how vain he must be to keep himself in that good of shape for tending a shoe store in the South of France, or rather Northern Italy…

“Right, Thought I’d pop in and tell you that one of our planters is shared. So you’ll have to talk to me before replanting anything. I noticed you coming in with tulips the other day.”

“The ones on the front of the street?” He nods as her head turns to glance out the front window. “Why the hell do we share a planter?”

“Because, my late great Uncle Joe and Marie fancied each other.” Her eyes went wide at his words, trying to think of Marie having a crush on someone. “They were never together, never admitted the fancying, but they always did the planters together. They each had one of their own and then bought the third together, said it made sense to make the shops look nice...I know it was just so they had more to tend to - together.”

She hums, taking in everything that he said and how his eyes shine slightly just at the mention of his uncle. His voice had perked at the story he had just spun for her and she smiles thinking about the idea of love and loving someone so much that you’re content with simply planting flowers together. It seemed really old-fashioned to her, but it also brought even more charm to the town she now called home. Romance was still alive here, or so she hoped.

“Okay, I’ll make sure to let you know when I’ve decided what flowers I want to put in there.” She turns around, assuming the end of the conversation and getting back to work. She doesn’t really find a reason to entertain Harry anymore than necessary. Like she told her mother, he was constantly in her way or being naked in his room, something she had chosen to leave out of her conversation with her mom.

“You’ve misunderstood me. Maybe my English is getting rusty, I rarely speak it since everyone else knows Italian.” She flips around at his rude comment, eyes alight with fire once again. “If you want to replant anything, which I don’t understand why you would, the flowers I put are wonderful, we’ll have to discuss it. It’s not you just telling me you’ll be doing it. We own it equally and I won’t let you bulldoze my hard work.”

“On a planter?!”

She sticks on a sickly sweet smile as she tries to refrain from laughing. “I guess the countryside really can make some people enjoy the simpler things in life…” With that she walks to the back of the shop, leaving the stunned Harry to see himself out of it. When the little bell rings, her stifled laughter can be heard among the books.

-

It doesn’t matter what it is, Harry and Y/N are able to make a fuss about anything and the whole street, if not the whole town, had quickly figured that out. No one had a problem with Y/N, they welcomed her with open arms. Marie had told the entire French side and a good amount of the Italian side how wonderful and tenacious she was. How Y/N reminded Marie of her sister and upon meeting her, many agreed. But the first time Harry and Y/N had a public row, at the bakery in the center of town, on the French side, everyone was quick to realize that there was bound to be trouble between the two. It was a stark contrast to the loving comments and endearing looks the previous owners had always engaged in when they were still alive. This fight was maybe a few days after the planter business and Y/N had tried in the following days to get him to change the planters to no avail so she was in an especially pissed off mood towards Harry.

“Could you be taking any longer?” Y/N rolled her eyes as she stood behind her tall neighbor, her foot impatiently tapping a beat against the stone floor.

Harry stood hunched in front of the display case, scanning for exactly what he wanted and desperately trying to remember what he had come here for. He was a bit more dressed up that day, his mother had been coming to visit him for the first time in a while and he wanted to look nice and have a special treat for her when she arrived. His trousers were a deep navy that matched the navy of the stripes on his sweater vest, the blue pinstripes of the button down underneath was a slightly lighter shade, but blue nonetheless. He had rolled up his sleeves past his elbows, showing off his various tattoos and sinewy arms. As his eyes scanned over the case again, he ran through his mental list and bit at his lip, knowing he was forgetting something. He barely even heard her drawl out her insult, the tapping of her foot eventually getting his attention due to its faltering.

She straightened upright from her hip jutted position when he didn’t even bite at her unkind words. Her foot stopping its melody. As she was about to give another go, Harry turned around and she gave him her full look of displeasure.

“Country life requires a bit of patience. I doubt you’ve ever had to wait your turn in your life, but you’ll have to get used to it here.”

Her eyes roll instinctively. She noticed that they seemed to do it just at the mention of his name or the sound of his voice. She had always thought herself a lover of the British accent, citing Downton Abbey and various famous musicians - Freddie Mercury, George Harrison, Elton John, etc. - as members of that little island who were formative to her identity, loving them for their talents as well as their accent. Yet with Harry’s deep meandering British voice, she found herself wishing to be anywhere but in its presence. She found that he took so long to ever get out an actual full thought and when he did it was barely coherent. He also never failed to let his sarcasm or smugness drip into his tone, causing her to audibly be aware of the smirk on his face even if she couldn’t see it. The image flashing across her mind no matter what.

“You’ll have to let me know when you’ll be here again…” His eyebrows quirk at her odd response and it’s her turn to smirk up at him. She’s already satisfied with her quip even though she’s only gotten half of it out. His mouth opens to question her, but she finishes her thought. “That is, so I can plan around you. If I have to alot a whole day to the boulangerie just waiting for you… I’ll never get settled.”  

Harry scoffs and a fleeting expression of actual offense flashes across his features before turning around to finish his order. The others in line and the worker are all equally wide eyed and she hears some hushed whispering behind her, but it’s in Italian so she can’t make it out. The worker eyes Y/N as she rings up the rest of Harry’s chosen items. The worker smiles softly at Harry, feeling for the man she had known long enough to know that he wasn’t as rude as he was being with Y/N. She was also taken aback at Y/N’s response, but hadn’t seen her be rude otherwise so she had to assume it simply had something to do with the man.

When Harry is all set, he turns to leave and pass Y/N again. His eyes narrow and his words once again are turned nasty. “I wouldn’t mind if you never got settled,” he said before muttering something in Italian under his breath and leaving the store. She assumed it to be nasty as she eyed the couple behind her giggling, before walking to talk with the worker.

She shook her head trying to rid herself of her cold exterior that she kept having to conjure up for Harry. Now smiling, she asks for her items in French, happy to be speaking the language that brought her so much joy rather than English which seemed to be reserved only for Harry now. She hadn’t gone to the Italian side very much yet and the people she had met over there so far had spoken French to her once she had introduced herself.

As the worker finished with Y/N’s order, she asked in a hushed tone, in French, “How do you know Mr. Styles?”

“Harry?” Y/N guessed, not actually knowing Harry’s last name until now. The girl behind the counter smiles quickly before nodding. “Mon voison” she sighs and contains the accompanying eye roll when she sees the girl blush at the idea of being neighbors with Harry. “He’s a brat,” she continues and the girl laughs lightly before saying, “I think he’s rather sweet… not bad to look at either.” She looks out the window of the shop wistfully, like Harry’s still there and Y/N whips her head around, afraid he knew that she was talking about him. Thankfully, he was gone and Y/N laughs to herself when she feels the anxiety that had gripped her for a moment dissipates. Shaking her head at the girl, she grabs her items and change from her before making a break for the door.

It was soon after that incident that Harry and Y/N’s squabbles became notorious throughout the little town. Drama wasn’t common there and any sort of excitement was the talk of the town. It made sense that this was snapped up by the gossipers from the French and Italian sides alike.

Anne, Harry’s mother, was stopped the next day, when she was out for coffee and Harry was still at the shop, and was asked why her son was so angry at the new bookshop owner. She thought it made sense for her to drop into the bookshop next to her son’s shop after hearing that. Walking into the shop, she was greeted with the smell of lavender and the sweet melody of a love song. She immediately smiled at the charm of the bookstore, feeling like there was a bit more life in it then there had been the last time she had come in. Harry had told her that Marie had passed, but not that someone new had taken over and she was eager to meet them, especially now that she had been told about the town gossip.

A messy haired, but bright eyed Y/N came trotting out of the bookshelves at the sound of the door opening. A smile beamed on her face when she saw the mature brunette woman standing just inside the doorway. “Bonjour! Bienvenue!” She greets as she smooths some of her unkempt hair. Y/N had been digging around the back shelves of the store searching for a specific book one of her other customers had asked about yesterday. And much to her dismay, she wasn’t being very successful. When the woman only says “Bonjour” and makes no inclination that she plans to speak more French, Y/N believes it’s safe to assume she’s a tourist and switches to English. “Can I help you?”

Anne laughs happily to hear English and walks over to the counter that Y/N had walked behind. “Yes, Hi! My son lives here and I’ve just come to visit him. He didn’t tell me someone had taken over Marie’s shop.” Y/N perks at the name of Marie and she smiles sincerely at the woman now. Not quite a tourist, yet not quite a local, she noted for herself.

“Yeah, I’m Y/N. I was a friend of Marie’s, so to say, and she left me the place.” Pausing, Y/N turns over the vinyl that had just finished side A, and then returns to her place at the counter. “I’m still really new, but it’s a small town. I don’t know of many other people who weren’t born here who live here, though, who’s your son?” She rests her elbows on the counter and leans on them while staring at the kind woman. She had noticed the British accent, but hadn’t connected the dots yet. It wasn’t uncommon for people to have a British accent when they spoke English so it didn’t necessarily mean she was from England. But maybe Y/N should have noticed the light eyes and brown hair, maybe that should have been an indicator as well. Or the way she had said ‘my son’ and nodded in the way of the shoe shop. But no matter what, it came as a shock when the woman with the coffee in hand said what she said next.

“My son is your neighbor! He runs the shoe repair shop. His great uncle, my ex-husband’s uncle, left it to him a couple years ago.”  Y/N’s eyes widen so much so that she has to blink a few times to assure herself they haven’t popped out of her head.

“Harry...is your son?” She speaks slowly and Anne smiles at the girl. She nods and Y/N nods back, taking the news in. He has a mother...she guessed she should have expected that. It had been unlikely that her theory of him being sent straight from hell to make her life just like it was accurate.

“Here you are mum! What are you doin’ in here?” Harry rushes through the door when he sees his mother inside from the window. Y/N rolls her eyes on cue, but still notices the soft adoring look on his face while he gazes at his mother. She supposes she can concede that he isn’t the spawn of satan now. His look hardens when he turns to Y/N, who has straightened up to her full height upon his arrival.

“I was just meeting the new bookshop owner, Y/N!” She looks between Harry and Y/N. “What’s this about you being angry with her?” She asks more to Harry, but Y/N hears easily. Harry’s eyes flash at Y/N and her eyes widen once again, but shrugs to Harry, having no idea where his mother had gotten that idea.

“What did you say-”

“I didn’t say anything! I’d just realized she was your mother right before you walked in!”

“It’s true. Someone said something about it to me at the coffee shop. Of course, I didn’t even know the book shop even had a new owner, so I decided to come by.”

“It’s nothing, mum,” Harry insists.

“Harry and I...we just don’t exactly see eye to eye. But, I’m sure we’ll warm up to each other eventually,” she easily lies through her teeth, knowing she really couldn’t see herself ever being friends with this prick. “Feel free to look around the shop, it’s not exactly to my liking yet, but then again, I am just getting settled. Otherwise, you two should enjoy your time together. I’m sure it’s not often you can make the time to journey all the way out here.” She smiles sweetly at Anne, choosing to ignore Harry completely.

“Thank you, Y/N. Harry can be an acquired taste for some, but just below that exterior of his, he’s a giant softy.” Harry groans at his words, Y/N’s smile only grew.

“Au revoir! Good Day!” She calls when they leave the shop rather swiftly. It seemed to her that Harry was desperate to get his mother out of the shop as soon as possible, while Anne was happy to browse and look at what had been changed in the shop.  

-

Their early unhappy encounters were now months ago. But encounters of a similar caliber happened at least once a week. It’s hard to avoid a neighbor who you seem to find anything they do to be an annoyance, even their existence. They saw each other around town and at their shops and in their bedrooms. Even though they didn’t particularly like each other, hated was actually the correct word, the drawing of the shades was a near impossible task with the heat that plagued the little town between August and Mid-October.

They had fought over who could leave their shade open and who couldn’t because Harry believed only one of them had to close it to maintain privacy but then he wouldn’t settle on an agreement on taking turns closing shades. Y/N argued that they could both leave them open if he would agree to stop walking around his room naked all the time, but he refused that as well, at first. He conceded after a week of having his shade drawn that he would wear boxers. Therefore, practically every night, Y/N and Harry would see each other before bed since they actually seemed to have the same sleep habits. Sometimes she would have to yell at him to close his window if he came home with a guest and he would yell at her to turn off her light if she was reading or watching television in bed too late.

Thankfully, it was approaching the end of October and the weather would begin to change. There wouldn’t be a reason to have the window or shade open and they at least wouldn’t have to see each other right before bed.

This morning, Y/N is up early, she found it amazing to wake up early here, something she had never done before this little border town. It was teaching her new things about herself and changing her, but she liked it. In deep forest green flared pants and a long sleeved rainbow striped shirt, Y/N is watering the planters in front of her shop as well as the little ones attached below the windows. It was always a little cool in the mornings, but she had checked her weather app and seen that it was actually going to be the first cold day of the season. The first cold day since she had arrived actually. As much as she liked the sun, she also loved fall and winter, so she was excited to experience them for the first time in the little border town.

She smiles to herself as she moves around gracefully. In her back pocket, her music plays softly, Paul Simon sings lovingly to her. She hums along and moves to deal with the planter at the edge of the sidewalk. But she’s foiled by a man she seems to think about far too much for how much she says she dislikes him. Harry jogs back a half step upon realizing he has run into her yet again. One would assume that one of them would either change their routine or know to step out of the way or really just be a little bit more aware of their surroundings with how many times this has happened since Y/N’s arrival. Of course, their stubborn personalities actually require them to be unrelenting in this area of their lives as well. Much like the shade debate, the who was in the way of who debate is still majorly undecided.

“Oi!” He looks down at his shirt and it has a substantial wet spot on it. She had spilled some of the watering can’s contents.

“Excuse you!” She says simultaneously, not realizing she’d gotten water on him.

“I’m not the one who just threw water on someone.”

“Neither am I. You ran into me, it’s not my fault you never look where you’re going.”

“You’re just always in my way. This has been my route for ages, I’m not going to change it just because you moved in next door.” His hands fly around in annoyance and anger.

“You’re unbelievable!”

“Well! I can’t stand you!

“Clearly!” “Cleary.” They’re both huffing out insults that don’t seem to really be going anywhere. Harry has straightened his posture for once and she actually finds his true height slightly intimidating. They both breath for a moment, finding no other words to fill the tranquil morning silence that they had just disturbed.

“Are we ever going to have a conversation where we’re not at each other’s throats?” She sighs, feeling upset that the nice Fall day was suddenly ruined for the rest of time just because of this.The bickering with Harry was tedious and she couldn’t keep going like this. Being in a completely new place and running a small business was hard enough as it is. Something snapped in her just then, hoping to squash a part of her life that is causing her stress and exhaustion.

Harry’s expression falters, his eyes losing that glint of angered passion for a moment, he wasn’t expecting that response. It wasn’t necessarily mean, it was more like she was resigned. Simply done with the conversation. He felt his anger and annoyance slip away rather quickly at her question. She sees his mustache twitch, which she realized happened when he was either amused or confused. She didn’t think what she said was funny so she presumed he wasn’t sure what to make of what she had just said. Her head tilts to the side and waits for his response. Her watering can falls to her side now, making herself a little more comfortable and leaving only a small amount of air between her and Harry.

“Tired out already? Thought you were more of a competitor than that.” He mirrors her by tilting his head as well.

“I didn’t realize we were in any sort of competition.” She stepped forward and straightened her posture a little, feeling challenged by the tone he had taken. She may have a kind and soft exterior for most, but she was nothing if not fierce in her core. She was an Aries afterall. She wondered what Harry might be, she wasn’t super into astrology, but she was sure that he wasn’t an Aries. Aries were fiery and passionate and were very unwilling to admit defeat, so he had just hit the exact right note to keep her from squashing their now long-standing quarrel.

“We’re not. I just thought I had met my match, guess I was wrong.”

He looks off in the distance to be nonchalant, like he wasn’t trying to bait her even if that’s exactly what he was going for. Sure, he found her annoying, for whatever reason. But he had realized when she had posed the question, that he hadn’t had this much excitement in a while. Nothing and no one really challenged him in the little border town, his work was easy enough, money wasn’t tight, friends were easily made, and partners for the night were easy to find. He didn’t dislike any of those facts, truly, he counted himself lucky and was overjoyed that he lived there. But the verbal sparring he engaged in with Y/N fulfilled a need he hadn’t realized was going unsatisfied. He would never admit it, but she was often a highlight of his day. Getting into a little quarrel with her brought a smile to his face when he recalled it later. The bird she had started to flip him before bed made him genuinely laugh. He liked it, so when she seemed to want it to end, he did what he knew would make her change her mind. Tease her.

“I see...bonne journée, cul.” She decided to bid him farewell, knowing he didn’t plan on apologizing any time soon. She turned her body from him and Harry understood enough French that she had ended the conversation with a “good day”. He also knew that she had called him an “ass” as well. His brows raised for a moment at the insult before giving a flicked salute in her direction and jogging off for his morning run.

For some reason, after a moment of knowing Harry had gone she glanced up in his direction and watched his retreating figure. And for some reason she found herself looking back down at the flowers and smiling to herself. Somewhere inside her she was glad Harry hadn’t given into her veiled request to stop fighting. It was a strange sensation because as tiring it was to bicker with him, she feared if they stopped then they would stop talking at all and her heart panged at the thought. She didn’t know why and she didn’t care to know why either.

-

The bell of the book shop chimes and Y/N pops up from behind the counter. She had been crouched out of sight trying to organize the books of notes on customers Marie had left that Y/N had only just found. She hadn’t realized the cabinet existed in the counter so when she accidentally slid it open she was a little taken aback. Still, she was quickly distracted by the new customer. Her cream collared shirt was unbuttoned to where her collarbone and decalotage were on display, some gold medallions hanging around her neck today. Her worn light wash blue jeans were barely visible behind the counter due to her height. In her hair was a classic red bandana, pulling back her hair out of her face save for the strands that worked themselves free on their own accord.

Her smile was wide, happy to see the first customer of the day as she pinched at her shirt to make sure it was in place. Her posture slumped immediately when she realized that her first customer wasn’t a likely customer at all, instead who else but Harry. A mischievous glint in his eyes as he strolled in and right up to the counter. He leaned his large body down to rest his head in his hands and look up at her. He crossed one ankle over his other, getting comfortable as he stared wickedly up at her.

She wet her lips and took a step back. It was her first look at him today, apparently missing him on his morning run. Maybe she should have thought something of that after their encounter yesterday, but she didn’t. Like most days, his trousers were high waisted, Gucci likely - how he afforded them, she had no clue - and his usual shirt had now been accompanied with a striped red, black, and yellow open cardigan. His hair looked wet like he had just taken a shower, most of it was pushed up but a few strands fell over his large forehead. His mustache looked freshly trimmed and the rest of his facial hair had yet to leave any shadow after his obvious shave.

“Harry.” She says definitively, regarding him with even contempt.

“Ice Queen.” He levels, eyes narrowing.

She scoffs immediately. “At least give me something original...or accurate maybe. I may not like you, but ice queen? Hardly.”

He genuinely chuckles at her quick response and nods, agreeing easily with her for once. “You’re right. It was weak, I’ll admit. Feel like you need a nickname though, thought something really rude might upset you.” He smirks cheekily. His agreement doesn’t make her feel like she’s won at all, unsurprisingly.

She rolls her eyes at his comment. “Care to let me know why you’re gracing me with your presence today, Mr. Styles?” Moving around the counter, she begins to walk to the back of the shop, assuming Harry would follow her if he needed to. He apparently did and walked after her after realizing she wasn’t coming back.

He gives a half-laugh, “Yeah, I came in for a new record. I saw you decided to restock them...thought I’d pop in. It’s easier to get them here than order online...Curtain-hater.” He adds the name as an afterthought.

She glances at him from the bookcase she’s standing at, her eyes shifting to meet his. A smile fades into her features as she can’t contain the giggle at his new attempt at a nickname. She then wrinkles her nose, “That isn’t good either, but proficient try, I guess.” She gives him points for actually relating the name to her in some way, but it still doesn’t incite any anger in her which she knows is what he is going for. She probably should question herself why she’s helping Harry to nickname her something rude, but alas, she doesn’t. He nods solemnly, knowing she’s right again. He needs to find a nickname for her and he doesn’t know why, but he’s glad she seems alright with him giving her one, so long as it is fitting.

Her body shifts from the bookcase over to the boxes she had gotten to hold the vinyls. She had a small collection since the place was small overall, but Marie’s old collection had sold successfully so she had restocked afterwards, this time choosing some of her personal favorites.

“I’m not sure of your taste...I know you bought Marie’s Ella Fitzgerald album last time.” She sifts through the records, trying to find something she thought he might want. Like she said, she didn’t know what he liked, but she prided herself on knowing music and as an owner helping a customer, she wanted to please Harry. She knew he liked Ella from his previous purchase and she knew he liked Marvin Gaye in the evenings when he had guests - how very cliche she would add. “I mostly got in 70’s/80’s rock...Elton, Queen -”

“Got any Paul Simon?” Harry cuts her off and she looks at him surprised. Her fingers stopped when she looked up at him, their tips placed on the peaks of the albums covers. “Thought I heard it here the other day?”  

Her face perks up at the mention, she loved Paul Simon. “That was on my phone, but I do actually. Well, it’s Simon & Garkunkel. I can order something from just Paul Simon whenever I have to order again if you want?” Their gazes are holding each other’s, her fingers still rubbing over the pointed edges of the two albums she had between her hands. Harry’s watching her and leaning against the table the boxes sit on.

He nods after a moment. “That’d be great.”

“You’ll have to tell me which records of his you already have so I can order something new for you.” She grabs the Simon & Garfunkel album and flips it to Harry so he can look it over.

He regards the Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme cover reading over the fine print with all the tracks listed on the bottom right. “Thanks,” he mutters out after another moment of silence. It was rarely this quiet between these two, so it was different. “I’ll take it, Shrimp.”

“Oh my god!” She gasps before bursting into a fit of laughter. He had actually made her laugh and his eyes widen at the sound, almost confused that she hadn’t scoffed. Her laughter was far louder now then the half-hearted chuckle she had given earlier, which really was probably just another scoff. This laugh was loud and unbridled, but melodic and fun. In the back of Harry’s mind, he noted that he liked it. The first bullet point on a list that was likely to grow.  “That works, just the perfect amount of rude. I love and hate it at the same time.” She finishes before walking back to the front. Harry saunters after her, pleased with himself.  

“I’d like to say I wasn’t looking for your approval, but I guess I sorta was,” he ponders out loud as she takes the record back from him to type in the correct spelling into her relatively new computerized system. She twists her mouth to the side of her face to refrain from smiling anymore and then hums. Her eyes flit back up to Harry’s triumphant smile and for once she doesn’t want to slap it off of him.

“People-pleaser…” She prods him easily. His smile falters only slightly, not out of unhappiness, but of borderline jealousy.

“How do you come up with that so easily? It just rolls off the tongue,” He asks seriously, confused by the woman before him. This time she laughs as she hands him back the record and a copy of his receipt.

“I’m well read, that usually helps, but maybe it’s just my intrinsic wit that gives me an edge,” she raises her brows slightly, before beginning to walk off now that their exchange is done. She’s surprised she doesn’t want to rip her hair out after that encounter, but she figures she should simply count her blessings. “Au revoir, trouser-boy!”

He rolls his eyes as he turns on his heel and exits the shop, amused rather than annoyed with the bookkeeper.

-

enjoy! lmk what you thought :) part 2

[prof-peach]

If you could cross over two of your favorite games, which would you choose? Please explain, why that crossover would be a good match.

Oh you’re going to regret asking this one, I’m bout to GET SERIOUS.

So Pokemon, obvs, I love the whole world it’s built in, but the games imo are REALLY boring, I haven’t enjoyed one a lot since gale of darkness, the main ones just are a little too linear obvious plots, pretty standard setups for story and style. Speaking of style, the games lack personality, the models aren’t animated well, moves have no dynamic energy or visual difference at times, and the turn based battle style just feels kind of, I don’t know, old? Slow? Just doesn’t suit what I enjoy personally, gives me a FInal Fantasy vibe and I just cannot stand the speed at which things happen in those games, plus not into 3rd person ‘let’s build a team of people’ much, but that’s a problem for another time. With this all in mind, the game I wish would happen is like gen20 Pokemon, far future sadly, I doubt I’d see it in my lifetime but god I’d be happy if I did!

Ok so take the newest Zelda graphics, the visual treat that was BOTW, open world, puzzles, not JUST combat, you got side missions, hunt the chickens, find missing pets, parcels, items, whatever. Love it! The horse taming?! Amazing you funky little game. Now take the bad guys and beasts from that. And put Pokemon in instead. Give them the diversity, the life and believable natures that BOTW gave the animals, I followed a frog in BOTW for 15 minutes, and it was a great experience, it felt like it was believable. Above world spawning, ACTUAL difficult gameplay, rare spawn rates, make dragons hard to get again, cmon, it’s too easy now, make it so we need a certain set of Pokemon for certain tasks. Water types big enough to carry you will be able to get you to new areas, rock types that can help you climb mountains faster, or break through blocking boulders. Actual towns with more than 4 houses in them, shops, barns, farms, homes. Like little link with the heat, maybe ice types would struggle in volcano areas, or bug Pokemon not be so comfortable in gale force winds. Give the weather more of an effect on your partners. Mounts, don’t even get me started that Pokemon Let’s go had you able to ride any of the larger species, but swsh did not???? Bitch please, give me my rideable Pokemon. The wild area too was far too closed, limited, online was laggy and a mess, camping is limited, let me do more with my team. Pokemon for me is all about the actual creatures, how they live with humans, and the many wonderful things they’re capable of. Yes of course it’s cool they can fight, but like what else you know?

I’d love a game that lets me buy a plot of land, maybe plant things, custom build things. I’m a sucker for the fallout4 settlement builds when they’re modded to hell and back, they’re fun! It can be a really calm and creative process. If I could do that and skip the main campaign and all the battles for a bit? Amazing, it sound perfect for me. I am that distracted hoe collecting flowers while the kingdom burns in the background. Side quests are everything to me. Let me give homeless people enough money to get them in a home? Let me adopt Pokemon that are stray around the town? Plz oh plz bring me a Pokemon game that allows me to work WITH my team to do more than KO other species. I want to save and buy a plow for my buddy gogoat, and grow amazing foods to sell to get currency to spend in decorations, to spoil my team. Give me actual game consequence, if I ignore that sick and injured Pokemon I find in the wild, later maybe it’s family don’t want to help me out with a different problem, too stricken from grief. I am all about the average bits, the old women who need help, the lost pets board in town, the general day to day stuff. Let me get cosmetic items for the Pokemon I keep, cute outfits, special gemstone items, let me actually live with them, or even feel remotely like they’re realistic.

Ok so in game, if it’s looking like BOTW it’s pretty beautiful but also stylised, I’d have it so you can send out a maximum of 3 Pokemon from your 6, using bumpers and such to throw them out. If you hit the trigger you switch from controlling the human trainer, to the Pokemon you’ve targeted with a standard lock on targeting system. You then can be the leader, but be the Pokemon. You could technically defeat the game without a human if you wanted, which incorporates the mystery dungeon games I think, and caters to that crowd. I’d love to see the use of attacks out of battle, things like using water gun to grow plants, using ember to start a campfire faster and stave off the cold. There’s no consequence to Pokemon anymore, and I think that’s where it’s lost me. I have to admit I miss the days of a poisoned pokemon fainting if you don’t heal them soon enough, I miss gym battles that were actually tough, damn, try picking charmander in red and beating brock without grinding in viridian forest first, it’s not easy. And I loved that. Yes it’s a child’s game, it will never be difficult again, but god it’d be nice to have a bit of a challenge, or maybe a difficulty setting, so some could play it with hostility turned off, great for kids, or you can be n adult like I know so many Pokemon fans are, and play it on expert mode and ACTUALLY have to work hard to beat the game. Alternate skill trees anyone? Train gun a fire type to ACUTALLy combat water moves?? Please! Cmon! It frustrated me that every challenger has pretty much a systematic set of moves to use to win. Grass opponent? Fire attack spam until you win. It’s dull, so at least with very difficult tricks to either find or learn in game would make it more achievable if you can send that fire type in and I don’t know, train them so much the heat evaporates the water mid-battle and you suddenly have a shot at winning. Pokemon has taught me that if you work hard enough you can achieve something, but the games just have such strict ways to win. Feels wrong.

In terms of battling, let us BE the Pokemon, let us learn to dodge, train our speed, train our defence, make a team of truly tough Pokemon instead of just, average? Some species have a cap on their skills, a squirtle has lower stat points than a Charizard, but you can’t ever change that? Let me choose the Pokemon I believe in, and let me work with them until they’re just as good, if not better than the game tanks. This would also make online battles more interesting. Everyone picks the top trio. Fairy, dragon, legendaries. And yknow what? It’s boring. That one IRL fight with the monster Pacharisu that won in the world tournament with follow me and the situs Berry? Unbelievable, I love that little rat so much because of this, so let us all have a chance to build a team that’s strategically viable, strong, and potentially a winner formula, even if they aren’t fully evolved, or the biggest Pokemon in the world. Yeah maybe you have to grind way harder with your unevolved Pokemon, but you get to the end game and win, because you put love and time into species that you enjoy, not just good fighters.

Unfortunately I am beholdent to Todd-idiot-Howard, and I love the Eldrescrolls and fallout games (before they got dumb, not that I don’t play the new ones. 76 I’m looking at you, you big asshole game.) honestly I hate online games, so none of that junk, just a good old fashioned open world sandbox game is plenty. Games for me are an escape from others, not an invitation to socialise. To each their own of course, and I do play online games sometimes, just pretty short lived ones, over watch and rdr2 for example. Would they be sometimes better on private servers? Yes of course, fallout76? Want to play with others? No. I do not. Please leave me alone. And if you buy a private server you’re feeding the monster that is Todd Howard, the man the myth the asshole, then we’ll get more bad games like 76. I just so desperately want the Pokemon company to see what a beautiful potential game they’ve got on their hands, that could be suitable for far greater audiences, but instead they’ve focused on the kids. It’s fine, it’s functional, but it’s lost to the fans from day 1, that are all 20+ years old now and want something meatier to play, something far more broad and inclusive. I also hate that there’s no wheelchair option in any Pokemon game. Like cmon, it’s not hard to include that.

In short, BOTW + Pokemon, with a sprinkle of open world sandbox to it, less fighting, more fun. Or, at least both options. Sure, go fight everything, great, but I want to farm carrots over here with 6sunflora, plz let me have some peace.

Edit: I forgot about harvest moon, chuck some of that in there too.

SECOND EDIT: someone in the comments mentioned to put this in Unova? Plz love yourselves, this game would be ALL MAPS. Stuff one singular location, this is the ideal game, put every map in it, join them, put islands in, make them more explorable, more detailed!

[zanniscaramouche]

MAY WE LIFT EACH OTHER UP

Thank you @phd-mama for such a wonderful idea! Sadly the month got away from me so I could not spread love all month long (although I did try to power read some shorter fics and serial-comment as much as I could!) and I hope you have all enjoyed the quotes from fics @allwaswell16 is reading as much as I have! 

Inspired by that, I’m handing out flowers to every person who’s ever reblogged, liked, commented or kudos on a fic or fic post. A flower for those who leave nice things in the tags and those who interact with wip posts to encourage the process. You’re all a necessary part of this whacky fanfiction machine. Here are some people who are major factors in my productivity levels, and people who inspire me to keep creating and have fun 💕

🌻 @mercurial-madhouse  My lovely beta, supremely smart and bursting with creativity. You inspire me every day and I adore working with you. You bring so much balance and structure to my work, the fine-toothed comb that really picks things out and makes them shine. Somedays(most days) I swear you can read my mind. Thank you for every second of effort you’ve put into making my stories come to life! Your own writing inspires me to be more imaginative and unafraid to dip into the niche. 

🌸 @lululawrence Such a wonderful human! You give off such great energy, I am in awe of how passionately and avidly you commit yourself to creating fanworks for the sheer pleasure of doing so. You remind me to write fic for myself first and foremost, everything else is second. No pairing is rare enough. 

🌹 @kingsofeverything The absolute mammoth list of your discography is awe inducing. Truly I can only hope to have the pleasure of reading them all. Your variety is so inspiring to me to try new and different things. The way you portray the human condition is phenomenal. A real inspiration all around.

🌼 @haztobegood An all around beautiful person. Love sprinting with you and seeing your new works being posted, reading your fics is always a good time! The comments you leave are so kind, thank you!

🌷 @theisolatedlily LILY! A thousand flowers for you, the most supportive commenter out there! You go ABOVE & BEYOND to another galaxy level, I swear. The feedback you provide is instrumental to my continued creativity and desire to pursue writing. Thank you x300million. Your brilliant usage of a large vocabulary and your love of grotesque detail truly inspires me to dig deeper while writing.

🌺 @soldouthaz A literal angel! Continuously taking the initiative to help others in the fandom (betabase was such a good idea!) and so kind to everyone. One of the first writers I read when I started in the fandom and I am so glad because you hooked me in to stay! 

🌻 @falsegoodnight Another of the first authors I first started reading in this fandom. Your hard work and dedication is so inspiring to me, and reading your fics is always a lovely experience that lets me truly escape. Thank you for being so wonderful! 

🌸 @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed WOW! You are continuously encouraging me to work on my wips via tag challenges. I havent responded to them in awhile(life has me by the throat) but know that those tags are VITAL to my sustained writing effort, and I eagerly await tagging you multiple times a week once more. Thank you for always thinking of me to tag! 

🌹 @fallinglikethis A heart of gold! A true darling, thank you for your recording of my work, it was a true experience to hear. I cherish every comment and interaction between us! 

🌼 @nevergooutofstiles Seriously where do I start! You are a serial commenter and it’s fabulous. I don’t think you can truly grasp how much each word in every comment you leave means to me, both those on the fic itself and the tags left in the fic posts. Thank you for your continued support! 

🌷 @londonfoginacup Such a sweetie! I am so humbled by your lovely words and I am so pleased to know you enjoyed some of my work. Thank you for all that you’ve done for the fandom, as well as the support you’ve personally shown me in tags and comments. 

🌺 @louandhazaf Lovely! Through your own work you inspire me to keep writing rarepairs, and I can’t wait to read more of your stories to give back on all the comments you’ve left on my stories. Thank you for being wonderful! 

🌻 @disgruntledkittenface Astonishing! Tagging you back and forth keeps me going, I can’t get enough of seeing your upcoming works and the motivation to create new ‘last lines’ and ‘sunday snippets’ is a much needed boost. Thank you for thinking of me when tagging!  

🌸 @brightgolden  My very first beta! You helped me so much on my first few beta experiences and are such a treat to work with. Thank you for your continued support, I am so proud to see you writing now and can NOT wait to read your new fics! 

🌹 @homosociallyyours Always so kind in the tags! Thank you for reading and commenting and boosting my works. You’re such a wonderful person to follow too!

🌼 @larryyouknow Sincerely wonderful! Always checking in and sharing your enthusiasm for my work. Thank you so much for getting in touch, I adore talking with you! 

🌷 @oldbay-on-apples Sincere and sweet, thank you so much for you feedback and support! 

🌺 @runaway-train-works Thank you for the love of rarepairs! It keeps me going on works that are truly passion projects. Your comments are so thoughtful and intelligent! 

🌻 @bluecolouredlou So lovely to hear from you and to see your interest in my works! Thank you for being so kind and encouraging.

🌸 @allwaswell16 A goddess! Wow there are few words I haven’t used yet, but you are all of them: lovely, sweet, kind, sincere, beautiful! You are constantly creating, be it fic, rec lists, or monthly round ups. A true legend. Thank you for all that you do, and thanks for your support! 

🌹 @solvetheminourdreams Cutie! I love seeing your works pop up, and I am so eager to devour them soon. Thankful for the encouragement and tags in fun little challenges. 

🌼 @harrystinyshorts So much fun tagging you back and forth and reading what you’re working on. Thank you for thinking of me! 

🌷 @makethebestofwhatyouget​ Hello darling! You are a ball of energy and passion, a real shining light! The excitement you exude is addicting. Thank you for sharing it with me and always pushing me to keep going! 

xx 🌺+ SOOOO many more that I couldn’t find the tumblr accounts for or sincerely forgot in my overtired daze. This month has kicked my butt, as my vague absence may have implied, and I miss interacting with everyone. With another season of work coming to an end, I can finally settle down and commit myself to what truly brings me joy: fanfic! In the next month I hope to read all of the beautiful fics that have come out recently (read: the past 7 months) while also fulfilling all of the fic festivals I seem to have signed up for 😅

Here’s to a wonderful summer & beyond for all of us! 

[everafterkeiji]

Song: Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo

Pairings: Tooru Oikawa x fem! reader

Word count: 8k

A/N: wow im so thankful for those who waited this long for the sequel so here it is, i really hope you guys like this one and im semi sorry for the pain, but thank u!

previous

“I can’t find her, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi shouts with his voice trembling in secret, hands gripping each side of the steering wheel, feeling his heart race faster than his own engine. He couldn’t bear to watch the weary eyes of the person beside him. Deep down he knew it had something to do with his sudden presence. There’s no possible way that when everything has been going amazing for the both of you, it all turns into dust with the quick change of events.  

Because of him.

He should’ve known that the arrival of Oikawa would bring you back to rock bottom and him along with it but even if he seemed prepared for the upcoming events- the impact of how painful it was never lessened.  

What if you knew?

What if you knew that you were soon to be off his hands and return to Oikawa’s instead?

Imagining you with a suitcase in hand, watching you drag it as you walked beside Tooru to say goodbye to him while you both leave for Argentina is a sight that could make his now healed heart return to the shreds that it was when his best friend called him to tell him about his plans of bringing you back. It may have been a few days after that agonizing call but his heart has never been more content to see you smiling. You were both patching each other's missing pieces and even created new and better ones, replacing the sharp bits that deserved it.

But the boy who thought he could return it to its proper condition— ended up tearing them apart.

Tooru struggles to stay put in his seat. His heart held the same pace as Iwaizumis, maybe even faster. He visualized his coming home would’ve been better than this. Sure, he didn’t expect it to be a happy moment. He knew the different emotions you could portray once you see him and he prepares himself for the tears and the punches you’d throw knowing very well it was something he deserved.  

He just wishes he didn’t have to see you tucked away in Hajimes’ arms.  

But with Himari, he could expect something worse than that.

Oikawa looks over to Himari who bit her fingers, anxious on whatever was going on. He could sense the way Iwaizumi’s posture tensed up when they got in his car, though he might have mentioned what his intentions were, he felt like he still needed to repeat it to make him stop his doubts. The setter has mentioned Hirami to Iwaizumi through the call but there was still the threatening silence that surrounds you three.

“Please before you think or say anything else, we’re not in a relationship. Fuck, I would never do that to her and you know that.”

No matter what Oikawa said, there isn’t an ounce of ease that falls on Iwaizumi. The ace knows how your tears fell for the blonde. How you managed to doubt every feature of yours and replace them thinking that she was the version of perfection you wanted to obtain. You weren’t close to perfect but in the eye of the two players— you were certainly close to it. Himari may have been the ideal you looked for but Iwaizumi stood behind to make sure you never question yourself again. Witnessing how you cried for her, he just can’t stand acting like an acquaintance to the girl who you thought was Oikawa’s new lover.

But there she was, seated at the back with her thoughts running to where you were.

Himari finally sees the importance of coming back to Japan within the minutes of being seated in the vehicle. It had been months since she met the setter and not a day passes where she could see the loneliness in his eyes but there were subtle hints of joy in his voice. Seeing him get excited about arranging the apartment, even asking her if the area was close to some locations where they could relax, had her wondering just how you were stuck in his heart.  

At a certain moment, she enters the apartment Oikawa planned for the two of you to see him in the room clutched tightly on a pillow with tears in his eyes. It was the first time the apartment had been officially his and the first night he spent it with his usual choice of emotion— regret. She came in such a wrong time. Instead of being able to congratulate him in settling down in Argentina, she managed to sympathize with him instead. Then it began— the stories, the confessions, you. Everything that escaped his mouth that night all consisted of sentences dedicated to tell her how much of a mark you left on his life.  

With the stories he told, she was excited to meet you. She wanted to hug you if you’d let her because she too was abandoned by a lover with another woman. She didn’t side with Oikawa when she found out that he was the reason, he received a smack to the head when she heard. It shouldn’t circle in her mind knowing you two were strangers but she never wanted anyone to go through the pain that she had passed. To think that Oikawa spoke so often of you yet he was the one to let your relationship part like he wanted to do, felt too ironic to believe.  

So, she helped him. Remembering what she went through for her past half, she couldn’t handle seeing another pair withstand it. Especially when there was a chance to save it.

But the blind eye and weakened mindset is to blame for the misunderstanding.

“I’m sorry but do you think she’s just back at his apartment?” Himari asks but Iwaizumi shakes his head. He knew you too well. You always promised that if you were to leave, you’d always come back before 11pm because he’d never sleep properly if you were out of his sight. It was way pass 10 and he left the apartment at 9:40pm to meet with Oikawa, needing his assistance in finding you. Now it’s 10:17 and he’s yet to receive any messages from you which fed his anxiety.  

He wanted to find you by himself but he knew how much Oikawa was begging the sky for you to meet with him again.

So, for the hundredth time, he forgets what his heart desired for him to do.

“There’s no way. Y/N should’ve been back now- fuck Oikawa what if she saw you?” Iwaizumi asks, his grip tightening more at the thought. The setter fiddled with his hands as the ace felt the weight of his worries. It was the worst thing that could happen but it became real without their acknowledgement.

With the possibility ringing in their heads, Oikawa steps into your shoes as he feels just how shattered your heart could’ve been if you saw him. Barely any time to explain himself or even get to be near you after a year of being away from you had his emotions tangled in knots but he needed to find a way to tame his and Iwaizumi’s fears.

“Hajime, calm down.” Oikawa tries— or at least begs him to do. It’s seen how his breaths weren’t under control and his usual composed figure was trembling with panic. If Iwaizumi fails to keep his mind straight, they’d be prone to danger.

“I can’t- you don’t understand!” He shouts as Tooru was taken aback by it, later his fists form a ball as he began to feel how unfair everything’s been. Hajime was underestimating Oikawa too much to the point that it looks like he wasn’t nearly as concerned.

“I don’t understand? I haven’t seen her in a fucking year and now she’s possibly missing and you don’t think I’m not losing my goddamn mind?” Oikawa argues back while Iwaizumi scoffs.

“Why didn’t you visit her then? Don’t tell me you weren’t ready while Y/N was ready to come back to you the moment you left!”  

Again, he was dumbfounded.  

He could never win against what was true.  

He truly wasn’t. Booking a flight and packing was the easiest part there is but the words that ran through his mind weren’t sure if he’d ever voice it out. The confrontation, to see you so broken because of him? Who can be ready for such a thing?  

He left without goodbyes, it’s a crime to come back and act like it didn’t happen. 

Yet what he’s been so at rage at was the fact that you found sanctuary in Iwaizumis’ arms instead of his.  

“You’re acting like you don’t fucking love her too!”

The way Oikawa’s voice echoed through the car made Iwaizumi’s heartbeat way louder than he expected.  

He was trapped, wasn’t he?

Iwaizumi deeply let’s his decision sit in his mind before his mouth could release it from him. Would a scoff mirror his denial? Averting the topic would lead to the same impression but if he agrees- that draws a line for years long of friendship between him and Oikawa. Covering a lie is better than whole heartedly admitting how he’s grown attached to you, while the man who left you was still in love with you like he was. Trying to lie to himself and allowing the denial stick with him was a situation he’d never be able to escape.  

The first time he’s ever loved someone turns into a war—battling with his morals and the person who’s fought by his side throughout the years.

But what would be the prize if he won?

“I know where she could be.” Oikawa suggests, his voice holding calmness but his mind let Iwaizumi’s silence in his previous comment rest in his mind. He couldn’t look at him because he understood why his own best friend would fall for you. He wasn’t oblivious to the time it took him to answer, or even how his eyes widened like a deer in headlights. He knew either way. The moment where Iwaizumi moved in with you- it was bound to happen because loving you is something that both boys will do until one of them bends a knee, even if one of them fails to be the first to do so.

“How are you sure she’d be there?” The young trainer asks as Oikawa sighs sadly when he reminisces to the time where he had met you on a little park on the way home. He figured that the way you looked that night was the same reaction you’d have if you saw him.

“What are you doing here?” Tooru asks, a curious yet worried tone in his voice. He watches you lift your head from your hands to look at him before tensing up when you realized who was standing in front of you. You quickly wiped your eyes as your stare remains anywhere but where he was.

“It’s nothing.” You whispered as he shakes his head before taking the seat next to you, looking at you while he wonders on how he can help even if he had no business to.  

“You’d kill me if I say that your acting is a 5/10.” He jokes while you rolled your eyes, not needing the teases but what held you back from being arrogant was that you could feel how he wanted to stay with you.

“Whatever problem that is- I’m here if you ever need me.” Tooru says, his voice lowering showing how sincere he was with his words. Carrying burden on your shoulders isn’t to be face when you’re all alone so he was willing to take some of the heaviness if you let him.

“Thanks, Oikawa.” You said, looking at him with gratitude. He smiles before standing up with a hand extended for you to take while you stare at him with confusion.

“Tooru. It’s better that way.” He says while you smile fondly taking his hand while you stand up, taking the spot beside him.

You were thankful that he didn’t bother to ask what caused this breakdown and he chose to let his presence do the comfort you really needed.

“What’s your favorite food?” You look at him with an eyebrow raised as he waits for your answer. With the endless choices you had to pick one— which was a struggle but you had to respond.

“It’s F/F.”

“Then I’ll take you to the place that serves the best of it.”

He shakes his head before looking at Iwaizumi while the other boy sighs, choosing to trust Oikawa. He was in another realization that there were still missing parts of your relationship that you haven’t told him and it makes him feel like a cast away but he had no other option.  

“We have to try and go to that location.” Himari suggests making Hajime sigh knowing trying is the only way to lead you back to him. He gestures for Oikawa to tell him the where while he listens intently on the details. Finding himself familiar with the place, he sighs in relief when he realizes it was a place located near the path you’d take home in your high school days.

But why was he nervous?

Every part of him was aching with anxiety even if he trusted Oikawa. Tooru knows more about you than Iwaizumi but the ace felt as if he was too close to finally knowing you the way the captain did. He was close to landing a soft spot in your heart- perhaps he’s already earned it but there’s still that worry that even if he tries, it wouldn’t alter.

What if he sees you all bruised up? What if your clothes were ripped and how could he continue to act like it wasn’t his fault he let you wander alone? Though he feels like you’d scold him when you find out he’s laid the blame upon himself. 

He just thinks about how he wanted things to be different from the way it was now.

Iwaizumi believed Oikawa, he truly did yet there was a sickening voice in his mind that badly wanted the false accusation to be true but this selfishness was put aside when he knew that this was something you wished the gods for.  

He swallows it hard. The truth that was meant to break no matter the circumstance.  

He may be someone you needed but Oikawa was and always will come before him.

“Moving in with her? How easy do you think this will be?” Iwaizumi asks, his phone held tightly in his hands while Oikawa bites his lip, thinking of ways to make sure he can convince his best friend to help him.  

“I’ve set everything. I just need you to help me out on this one.” Oikawa begs while Iwaizumi lets out a scoff followed by his eyes rolling at the dismay. It’s unbelievable how the setter thinks making you agree to this crazy idea was going to be a breeze- a walk in the park even. Imagining you just willingly accepting this offer with bags packed and little to no fighting- it seems like a different version of you. Iwaizumi knew that you deeply missed Oikawa but it didn’t mean you were always ready to face him. He’s seen instances where you’ve mistaken a man to be Tooru but your initial choice is to hold onto the ace and hid behind him. He feels how tense your grip was, probably in fear that Oikawa was there and that made him realize that you’ve yet to gather the confidence to meet him.

“I’ll be home soon and I know it’s going to be difficult but... please Iwa.”

“Do you think this is what she wants?” Hajime asks, wishing that his answer wasn’t what he was expecting. He knows how Oikawa’s efforts will be nothing if he lets all of this go but then again, this was too absurd to happen without fail.

And Iwaizumi can’t bear to let you go this quick.

“I love her, Hajime. This is what we’ve always wanted to do— be with each other. Now, I know I fucked up and this may not be the best decision but if I let her walk away again then who am I to say that I love her in the first place?”  

“The problem is that you walked away first, Oikawa. Do you think I’d like to see her be in the same amount of fucking pain you gave her throughout the year? I’m not letting her move in with you when not even half of your problems are fucking solved,” he pauses trying to catch his breath but then there it was— the selflessness that he didn’t want to appear because you can’t be selfish when you're not even his to begin with.

“But if she wants to go... I can’t stop her, can I?”

“Take a turn here.” Oikawa directs as Hajime follows suit. Upon seeing the familiar street, he relaxes a little. Tooru then steps out just as Iwaizumi turns off the engine.

“I’ll check first.” the boy declares while Iwaizumi sighs, leaning on the seat. Himari wonders if she should follow him, not that it bothered her to stay behind, but seeing Oikawa in a rush with a hazy mind doesn’t mean he’d be able to calm down. Iwaizumi could feel her worry so he speaks.

“You can go but if you get lost, message me.”  

Himari stays still for a second. It occurs to her they haven’t shared a single conversation and the nerves of intimidation shows itself. The moment she entered the car, she knew there was something more than just tension. Talking to him like there wasn’t that field of uneasiness was difficult.  

Because she knows that he loves you too.

“Thank you but can I ask you something?” she asks while Iwaizumi shifts his body to look at her and pay some mind to what she’s going to say.

“Is she mad at me?”

The boy was more than surprised to hear it from her.  

“I have a feeling she knows or if she doesn’t, I don’t want to be looked as the girl who took the person she loves.” She confesses softly while Iwaizumi remained silent letting the words sink in his mind. The blonde smiles at him fondly realizing that her outburst completely left him stunned.

“I like Y/N. Whether you believe me or not, Oikawa talks about her too much and I would love to get the chance to see her without rivalry. I just feel like—with the idea of me and that dumbass being together for a year, it really doesn’t sound comforting to think of.”

“You will meet but I can’t lie and say that you didn’t leave an impression on her.” Iwaizumi says, the past tension disappearing when he realizes that she really wasn’t what the photo made her to be. He wishes he could tell you just how much of a person Himari was other than the girl you’d want to be.

The girl sighs but accepts it knowing it wasn’t alien to her to understand what you could possibly feel.

“Guess I’ll be finding that asshole for a while.” She says and Iwaizumi nods but there was a question that he let pass his mouth.

“How come you like her that much?”  

Himari smiles as she stares at the sky before looking back at the boy left in the car.

“She reminds me of my girlfriend.”  

With that sentence and the ace’s jaw to the floor of a reaction, she lets out a laugh before opening the door and exiting the vehicle and an obviously flustered Iwaizumi.

_

“Y/N?” Oikawa calls out for the seventh time as he stands still for a second, his legs burning from running in circles. He pants but he decides that there was no other option but to keep going.  

Anything that it takes to love you more than he ever could.

“You and me, right?”  

“Come back to me.” He whispers, resembling you last year with one of your desperate attempts in his voice messages.

Then the tears formed while his energy was deafening.

“I’m so sorry.” He mutters, hiding his face in his hands as he lets the guilt him harder than it did compared to Argentina. You were here— a location away and he was growing more and more scared at the thought if you out this without a trace of evidence that you were safe though that issue was one of his biggest concerns but what follows it is that the hope that he gathered was dying.

“Are you?”  

Just as his eyes landed on your distant figure, his legs were glued to the floor.

Move! Fuck- I need to hold her but why can’t I move?

“Oikawa.” You called out to him, to confirm that your tears weren’t mistaking him for another person. You heard him but perhaps you needed more than just that. This is Oikawa. The person you’ve waited for, cried for, loved for how many years, yet both of your feet didn’t bother to step forward.

Were you waiting for someone else?

“Y/N.” Then his feet gave in, leading them to you as well as a pair of arms whose waited nothing else then to feel this sensation again. He buries his face in your shoulder, tears dampening your shirt as he held you tightly with his sobs resonating in your ear but your arms never reacted to him.

But you broke down as well.

You couldn’t believe it. He was here, embracing you with every ounce of love he gives you but you stood there like your heart didn’t endlessly wail for him but numbness seems to have sided with victory this time.  

At the time where you needed to speak, the words that you wished served as an embrace transformed into a weapon.

“Tooru, I need you to let go.” you whispered softly while he shook his head, sobbing harder when he ponders on the fear that holds him down. Was this the last time? The everlasting moment where he could show you his regret while he begs you to continue an ever after with him?

Was he just meant to circle the world without you?

“If I move to a certain place, will you follow me?” He asks as his hands continues to caress your cheek while you smiled at him, before letting your own hand run through his brown locks. He closes his eyes before wrapping his arms around your waist, his slow breaths calming you both noticing how exhausted he was.

“Anywhere you go, as long as I’m with you, I’ll follow.”

“You promise?” he whispers, not letting his eyes open as he lets his imagination take him to countries that the both of you could visit and a tiny smile falls on his face when he realizes that he’d be able to travel around the world with a person who he’ll be seeing at the end of the altar.

“Of course, Tooru.”

When he meant that it’d always be you and him, it was partially true.

But the saying didn’t mean you’d always be together.

So, it’s always you and him- against each other's heart since the world you promised each other has faded.

“Y/N, if I let you go, are you going to return?”  

“I held on, didn’t I? What’s there to return to, Oikawa?”

“I’m so sorry.” But what he does next strikes a heavy hit to your heart as he lands on his knees, with his hands covering his face as he cries when he knew that an apology was the least cure that there is to mend an unfixable heart.

“Oikawa, stand up.” he shakes his head as he began to continuously apologize but all you wanted was to let the silence consume him. You hated this. You knew Oikawa was in pain too but seeing him in the same position you were in made your heart sting at how he cried in front of you when you knew he hated that you could see him like this.

“Babe? Hey- Tooru? I’m right here.” You asked him as you rushed to his side while he wipes his eyes immediately before putting on a smile as you hand him his towel, patting it down on his forehead. He looks at you as his eyes gather another batch of tears when he sees how worried you looked.  

He hates it when you see him cry.

Though he doesn’t mind being vulnerable, this was a side of him that stayed at rock-bottom and the efforts he made to come back at the top had been attempts that made him stay longer.

After patting his sweat, you looked at him as he was shaking at the mix of emotions of the outcome of the match with Shiratorizawa. He avoids eye contact with you as his tears fell on the gym floor.  

“Tooru.” you whispered as you cup his cheeks taking him by surprise as he stares at your loving eyes while you send him a smile, catching the tears that were streaming down. He leans into your touch and maybe his efforts of trying to leave rock-bottom weren’t all wasted.

Especially, when your hand was ready for him to take just as the bottom of the pit began to win him over.

“I love you.” It was only three words that could’ve carried more but to Oikawa, it was all he wanted to hear because you love for him spoke more than just those three. You meant it in every way that he can understand.

Because with a simple confession of love, it was already enough to lead the defeat away from him.

“And I love you more.”  

You crouch down as you tried to make him stand up but instead, he remained on the floor making you cry even more when you realized he leaned his weight on his bad knee, making you look away and choosing to hold his arm in order to hoist him up as you wept for him.

“Oikawa stand up!” You yelled but he looked up to see the endless flow of your tears as he shakes his head, disobeying your orders while your heart crumbles when he reaches his hand to your cheek, holding it fragilely as he stares at you with the same amount of pain you held in front of him.

When million words were needed, the silence chose to speak for itself.

Don’t you love me anymore? Oikawa thinks as he continues to watch the love of his life fall under the solitude he caused.

I love you with everything I have, but what can guarantee that it’s enough for me to stay when the pain is twice as the amount?

“Why are you here, Tooru?” You asked him as he uses his finger to wipe away the tear that was bound to fall, as a sad smile tugs on his lips.

“I’m here for you, Y/N. Only you.” Oikawa answers as he averts his eyes to the ground while your hands form into a fist because you already accepted the fact that he belonged to someone else, even if it made you throw away the memories in his car just to face the harsh reality.

Besides, the street lights didn’t lead you to him anymore.

“Stop lying to me. It shouldn’t be me anymore.” He lets his blurry eyes portray the betrayal that pulsated through his body as he repeatedly shakes head, refusing to believe that those words came from you. He didn’t fly here to confuse himself with his priorities. You were the only reason- hearing you say that you were the least of his intentions had him wondering the depths of his mistakes.

“It’s always been you and no one else! I came back for you- to fix this- us, Y/N! I-I'm so sorry!”

“IS THAT ALL YOU’RE GONNA SAY TO ME?”

The volume of your voice startled him when he sees your hand clutching tightly on your shirt as you stood up and the apple of your cheeks colored in frustration. 

“Am I ever going to get an explanation on why the person that I loved left me without goodbye? Am I just going to hear you apologize for hours and not a single answer is given to me? Oikawa- I waited- I want to forgive you so fucking badly but I’m expecting more than an apology without you telling me why you did it!” You didn’t mean to raise your voice to such an extent but the answer you waited for a year was yet to be given a response.

Hearing his pleas brought an emotion you weren’t familiar with. You expected that he would apologize but at first you didn’t know why it gave you disappointment instead of satisfaction. Surely, you wanted to hear it- let it replay in your ears for as long as you wished but that wasn’t enough to patch up a heart that’s been through more than just a slice in the middle.

“And why did it have to be the last time that we were happy?” You asked him with your voice purely showing the torment you go through when you remember the last night that scarred your emotions. How was he able to leave after a night of serenity? Were his laughs all a cover up his plan of leaving you as fast as he could?  

“Please answer me, Tooru.” You begged but it came as a whisper when you aggressively wiped your eyes that were exhausted and tempted to close.  

Oikawa bites his lip but takes a deep breath before letting his words decide the outcome.

“I lost grip on what I wanted to do. After that match- and all of the things that I couldn’t stop thinking about- everything was messy. An escape and a way to find that passion again were my options to get this sick feeling over.”

“But I was never in those options, wasn’t I?” he grips the fabric of his sweats beside him as he avoids your glistening eyes knowing how agonizing it was to hear it from him that you had been pushed to the dark corners of his mind like a forgotten idea.

“Are you sure, honey? This is unlikely of you to be spontaneous in this way.” his mother comments, her hand falling on top of her sons' hand. Oikawa smiles at her softly, sending a nod to his father as well. He knew his family was going to supportive no matter what, he was a star after all but he knew they were worried about him. A country with immense culture that he’s yet to learn about is a whole other experience but he felt as if it was the decision that could hold all the victories he wanted to earn.  

“What about Y/N? Why don’t you take her with you? School is finished and it’d be a great step for you two as a couple, Tooru.” He sighs heavily, placing his hands on his lap as he lets the question wonder over this head.

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Y/N-”

“And I guess contacting me wasn’t a good idea either?” You continued, the flare of rage igniting more as all of the excuses you made for yourself for his indecency have been made clear that it was his choice in leaving you in the past.

“How could you! You- fuck Oikawa!” You shouted as you felt your body shrivel with the anger as he tries to hold you but you pushed him away as the nearby stop lights painted the night a shade of red that resembled equal parts of anger and love.

“What was that for?” You asked him with a giggle as he smothers your hand with gentle pecks. During a red light, it became a habit for him to show you affection while you wait for it to turn green. You always drove late together so when the streets weren’t occupied, his voice would echo through the air when he shouts your name with a declaration of how much he loves you, or sometimes he’d steal kisses catching you off guard like he’s doing now.

“Well, it’s obvious that you didn’t complain babe.” He teases as you lean closer, giving him a subtle kiss on his temple making him blush instantly. He smiles at you before taking your hand and landing a peck to your ring finger as your heartbeat picks up an irregular pattern while the light turns green, his brown eyes leaving yours.

“Now, what about that?” You asked him while he fixates his focus on the road ahead but his dream with you causes him to smile like the lovesick fool that he was.

“In case I couldn’t do it in the future.”

“Fuck you for leaving and acting like I wasn’t here! You and your girl-”

“Oikawa?”

When your eyes landed on a familiar blonde, the chances of saying those three words once again began to disappear.

“Y/N?”  

And with the sound of her voice, everything became blurry when you remember the way she looked next to him with a smile.

“I’m Himari.” she introduces herself while taking cautious of her words when she sees the drop in your features. She hesitates to take a step forward knowing the mind who misunderstood was sharper than hers.

“And you brought your girlfriend.” you said with another sigh of exhaustion and when Himari hears this sentence she immediately knew what impression she had left from Iwaizumi’s words. She takes a step forward making you lower your head, not wanting to be near the person who was the main focus of Oikawa for a year but there wasn’t an ounce of spite that was directed to her.

“Y/N, we’re not dating.” Oikawa assures you, mimicking Himari’s actions, hoping that he could hold onto your hand and change your mind which he knew it was a little too late when his conversation with his best friend resonates through his ears.

“What do you think? She’s fucking crying again.”

“We are not dating, I promise. I helped him for you to settle in Argentina.”

Argentina?

“Oikawa- what does she mean I’ll be settling?”  

The silence on the side opposite to you has never been louder. Oikawa and Himari share a look while you stood there with more than confusion that was mixing in your range of emotions. Your eyes dart between him and the girl while the beats of their heart began to speed up, not because of their own panic, but for you. Himari then awakens from the absurd idea she was brought into. Being in this tense atmosphere, she knew it was the wrong move all along but it seems to strike her more when she sees the way the flow of your tears didn’t alter.

“Tooru, answer me.”

“He didn’t tell you.” Oikawa says making Himari groan and before she could approach you, she sees a figure running your way.

“Y/N!” Iwaizumi shouts before he engulfs you in his arms while there was a wave of relief that overcomes you as you immediately reciprocate his embrace as he caresses your hair and holds you tight. The worry in him dissolves when he ran and saw that you had zero injuries but when he saw your puffed cheeks and sore eyes, he wanted nothing more than to hold you when he realized the two were stood in front of you.

“Thank fuck you’re okay, please never leave me like that again.” He whispers while you nod and within this moment, you found a way to breathe properly as Hajime continues to keep you near him but when his eyes landed on Oikawa’s defeated orbs, he pulls away gently.

Himari saw how one of them had their heart sewn back together while the other one shattered.  

“You didn’t tell her?” Oikawa asks while your head turns to Iwaizumi who had his eyebrows raised but he looked at your confused expression and realizes he was pertaining to the issue of moving together. As you cautiously watch his features, you take a step away from him, standing in the middle of the two boys.

“Iwa, you knew?”  

Fuck. The situation he was in felt like a twist of fate. When the idea was brought to him, he wasn’t planning to go on about it but this was Oikawa. The boy he grew up with, shared his dreams and weaknesses, and the one who reminded him that a burden should never be carried alone.  

“I’m not going to lose to you, Oikawa.”

“That’s good to hear, Iwa-chan.”

But then you came and suddenly the competition grew into something more, a level that could end up having gold or having nothing when it came down to the winner.

“So, you two just accepted the fact that I’m willing to forget that he left and live with him that easily?” The two players remain silent even Himari chose to avoid barging in on a matter that only included the three of you but it did pain her to watch this unfold. She wonders how you carry this amount of pain and betrayal. It’s evident that the two have more than just a special place in your life.  

It’s as if your heart wasn’t just yours anymore.  

“Y/N, I wasn’t going to let you go just like that.” Hajime says but then he held back a few words that he knew would change everything for the three of you but it seems as if there already was a cut in the unity.

“Tooru, what did you do?” After hearing his answers, nothing became clear. There were missing details and words that you wished you could hear from him. With the surprise of moving to Argentina- it felt as if you were stuck in you and Oikawa’s past dream of travelling the world. This was one of the promises that could’ve stayed if not for the terrible timing. To witness the beauty of the different countries with Oikawa could’ve been a moment in your life where there was nothing but pure bliss and admiration for each other- which then turned into isolation.

“Back in Brazil, I had Himari help me with everything we needed to move in together. I thought that this would’ve been the chance for us to be together again- to have you with me and make up for all my mistakes. I know you’ve had enough with my promises so I’m not making more. I’m doing whatever it takes because I love you so much, Y/N.”

“Where did that love go, Oikawa?”

Perhaps that love was replaced by fear, especially when he can see his own reflection on Iwaizumi.

“Y/N,” the setter approaches you with care as he holds your hand, almost letting his doubts run him over when the idea of you letting go strikes his mind. He then looks at you which made you hold your breath when his eyes brought you to a memory you chose to forget.

“I love you, you know?”

“Why are you speechless?” Tooru asks while he stops walking to gaze at your flustered reaction. He then smiles before standing in front of you and places his hand on the crown of your head.

“Does that mean that I don’t show much I love you?” You shook your head while his previous words rang in your ears like your favorite song and looking at him now, your heart is overjoyed with your own love for the boy.

Taking him by surprise, you wrapped your arms around his neck attacking him in a tight embrace with an irreplaceable smile while he laughs and takes your waist by the arm muttering the same three words that he said earlier. Oikawa twirls you around while you returned the feeling.

“I love you more, Tooru!” He puts you down before cupping your cheeks with his hands as he savors the look in your eyes that only held him in it. He lowers his head as you didn’t hesitate to close the space between you and him.

But what is the same man that was in front of you?

“Iwaizumi, let’s give them some space.” Himari suggests, softly tugging on Iwaizumi’s sleeve. With hesitation, he still agreed but his eyes lingered on you who was held by Oikawa and with the sight of it had him let your words resonate in his ears as his heart silently bawls.

“Don’t fall in love with my broken pieces, Hajime. You deserve someone who is- complete.”

I’m too late, Y/N.

Himari who held onto his arm, stopped walking when she sees the longing stare that Iwaizumi’s eyes held for you. She could sense that every part of his body desired to be close to yours and catch you over and over again just to be with you. She smiles fondly when she realizes that she must’ve looked like this in the past- sick in love without a trace of fear to do anything for the person you adored but what did it feel to fight for your heart against his own best friend?

“But if she wants to go... I can’t stop her, can I?”

I want to try even if it isn’t me.

“Hate me, punch me for leaving, go on. Call me stupid and more but not being yours is the worst thing there is to say.” Tooru begins, long breaths within pauses to ensure his honesty is apparent in every word he speaks because he needed to make ends meet knowing this was the only solution to find his way back to you.  

And with an open heart, you listened.

No matter how many times he’s scarred you, you believed that he was still the same Tooru that cured the pain.

So when he held your cheek in both his hands, you saw nothing more than the boy you would love all over again.

“I am more than sorry for everything that I’ve done but I know that those aren’t the words you waited to hear. It’s my fault and to think that deciding without you knowing or even contacting you after I left are just actions that I regret everyday. I’ll accept if you don’t forgive me— I understand and it’s only right for me to deserve it but it doesn’t mean I won’t try for us to be together again.” He rests his forehead on yours as you silently let the tears land on his hands as he whimpers, closing his eyes as he finds it harder and harder to maintain his pace of breathing while you didn’t dare to open your eyes and look at the weeping boy.

“I c-can’t change what I did but I want you to know that within that year—being without you was more than I can take. So, if you let me hold you just for a while, then maybe I-“ He couldn’t even bare to finish his own sentence when his sobs interfered with him as you could feel the way his hands felt weaker against your skin but he held it with all his emotions.  

But when your arms began to wrap around his neck with your chin to his shoulder, his heartbeat took a leap but he instantly wraps his own around your waist as he sobs into your shoulder while another person watched in sorrow.

“I can’t forget what you did but holding you is more than I wished for, Tooru.” He smiles slightly as he closes his eyes and embraces your warmth that he craved for as your thoughts ran with the seconds that passed. He strokes your hair with his hands as your heart nearly aches at how gentle he was as if every action would lead to another permanent stain on you but you held onto him more when you felt the familiar ache pulse through your body. The nostalgia it gave you holding him like this leads you to feel the past embraces he’d give after every game, after every melt down, and after every argument. He may not be able to express his repenting with mere sentences but what you knew is that with every action he does is covered in the stories he failed to tell. After all, he’s your Tooru Oikawa. The boy who gave you every ounce of love and joy even if brought you to your knees, even if the promises turned to dust. So, letting your words course through him, he subtly pulls away and looks at you with a smile as you took a few steps back.

And with a few more heavy steps of decision, you grabbed his hand, interlacing it with yours as your hesitation lies under your skin.

But your heart was certain as it is.

—

The sun rose as you stretched, the immediacy of silence creeping around your room as you watched the clouds showcase the beaming colors of its rays. Smiling with bliss, you step out of your bed and began to run your usual motives. With your clothes all pampered and ready, you wore them with pride as you looked at yourself in the mirror with a photo to the side as another flutter of a heartbeat came your way.  

Dialing his number, his voice came in a second later as the glee in your heart overflows at the sound of him.

“Congratulations, Tooru! God, you were amazing and words cannot express how proud I am of you!” You cheered as the boy cries over the phone with the medal hanging on his neck with his tears decorating his cheeks as you too shed a few tears seeing him succeed over the television. Seeing him shine in the lights, displaying his winning smile as he was embraced by his fellow teammates was a view that had you let out a few shouts of exhilaration knowing this has been his dream that you supported throughout everything. He truly deserved it.

“I wish you were here but fuck thank you so much.” He says with a never-ending smile as you looked at the photo on your mirror making your heart chase the happiness that it gave you to see him like this. Glancing on a familiar vehicle park outside the building, you let out a laugh before speaking once again.

“Let’s make up for lost time.” You suggested, making the length of his smile grow as he too looks at a photo present in front of him. With two hearts lured into serenity, there wasn’t a moment more perfect than this.

“I’d like that.” Oikawa replies as you continued to put on your shoes.

“Are you good to go?” he asks as you answered a short yes before grabbing your things, and leaving the apartment as you pressed the phone to your ear to listen further.

“I’ll see you real soon.” Tooru says with a certain tease in his tone as you let out a chuckle before pressing the button to end the call.

As you walked to the car, you could feel the excitement rushing to you as he opens the door for you as you bid him a smile as he steps into the drivers seat and the love-struck boy wonders if the passenger seat has looked this bright. Seeing you in the afterglow as the sun entered the vehicle, covering you in the rays of it made his heart grew the prettiest flowers.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as he shook his head before leaning closer to land a peck to your cheek, pushing aside a strand of hair just to tuck behind your ear as your cheeks grew into the hue of love as his own orbs displayed a deeper amor than before.

“I love you that’s all.” He confesses making you smile as you intertwine your hands in his as he presses a firm kiss on it and with his free hand he turns on the engine. Turning his head so his eyes met your loving ones, he speaks.

“Ready for our drive?”  

“As ready as I can be, Hajime.”

Taglist: @dekuspet @splaterparty0-0 @jihyunnxtooru @sakusakei-omi

[borisbubbles]

Character analysis: Vivienne de Fer (Dragon Age Inquisition)

So, if you’ve wondered where I popped off to the past two months or so, I’m going to give you an answer - I finally bought Dragon Age Inquisition (legit on my gaming wishlist since its 2014 release) and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since. 

The main draw to this game however, isn’t so much the gameplay (if you want a game that feels similar but has better gameplay - Assassin’s Creed Odyssey is what you’d want instead), but the storytelling and particularly the character development are top notch. All nine companions are fascinating and fleshed out in such a realistic manner I’m still gasping in awe on my fifth playthrough.  Thus, a post on it is in order. It’s a bit different from my usual content, but don’t let that discourage you - clearing my head from Dragon Age will allow me to let Eurovision back in and continue my unfinished 2020 ranking.  In this post, I will be analyzing one of DAI’s most interesting characters - none other than Madame de Fer herself, Vivienne.  Now, I’m under the impression that this is a rather unpopular opinion but I absolutely love Vivienne. And no, I won’t apologize for it. As a Templar-thumping elitist with a icy, sardonic demeanor the sheer ‘Idea Of A Vivienne’ is meant to make your head spin. Dragon Age has always been a franchise in which mages are a socially surpressed group and to be confronted with a socially confident enchantress who likes Templars and seemingly supports the social shunning out of her own ambition is the walking embodiment of flippancy. 

and yet, I feel a lot of sympathy for Vivienne. 

Yes, she’s a bitch. She knows she’s one and she’s a-ok with it. I won’t argue with that. Sadly, the “Vivienne is a bitch” rhetoric also drastically sells her short. Vivienne is highly complex and her real personality is as tragic as it is twisted. 

Madame de Fer

So let’s start with what we are shown on the surface. Vivienne is a high-ranking courtier from an empire notable for its deadly, acid-laced political game. She seemingly joins the Inquisition for personal gain, to acrue reputation and power, and eventually be elected Divine (= female pope) at the end of the game. She presents herself as a despicable blend of Real Housewife, Disney Villain, and Tory Politician, all rolled into one ball of sickening, unctuous smarm. Worse, the Inquisitor has no way to rebuke Vivienne’s absurd policies and ideas. You can’t argue with her, convince her to listen to your differing viewpoints or even kick her out the Inquisition. She has a way with words where she can twist arguments around in such a fashion that she lands on top and makes the other person look like the irrational party.

“Thus speaks the Inquisitor who has made so many mature and level-headed choices so far. Such as releasion malcontents upon the population without safeguards to protect them should they turn into abominations. Very wise. I rearranged some furniture. Lives aren’t thrown into jeopardy by my actions. Perhaps a little perspective is needed.”

She’s Cersei Lannister on creatine, Dolores Umbridge on motherfucking roids. If you look at merely the surface, then yes, Vivienne looks like the worst person ever created. I love a good anti-villainess however, and she’s definitely one. 

Yet, she never actually does anything ‘evil’? Yes, she is ‘a tyrant’ as a Divine, but 1) the person saying this is Cassandra, whose dislike for mage freedom is only matched by her dislike of being sidelined 2) Divine Vivienne isn’t bad to mages either? (hold that thought, I’ll get to it). She never actually sabotages the Inquisition, no matter how low her approval with the Inquisitor gets. She never attempts to stop them, no matter how annoyed she is. She’s one of the most brutally honest companions in the cast, in fact. (It always surprises me people call her a ‘hypocrite’ - you keep using that word and it doesn’t mean what you think it means.) The ‘worst’ display of character is when she attempts to break up Sera and the Inquisitor and even then - are we going to pretend Sera isn’t a toxic, controlling girlfriend with a huge chip on her shoulder? I love Sera, but come on.  

Vivienne is a character where the storytelling rule of Show, Don’t Tell is of vital importance. The Orlesian empire is an empire built around posturing and reputation. Nobody really shows their true motivations or character, and instead builds a public façade. It’s like how the Hanar (the Jellyfish people) in Mass Effect have a Public name they use in day-to-day life, and a Personal Name for their loved-ones and inner circle. Vivienne’s ‘Public Visage’ is that of Madame de Fer - this is the Vivienne who openly relishes in power, publicly humiliates grasping anklebiters with passive-aggressive retorts, the woman who is feared and loathed by all of Orlais, and this is the Face you see for most of the game.

The real beauty of Vivienne’s character and the reason why I love her as much as I do (which is to say - a LOT) are the few moments when - what’s the phrase DigitalSpy love so much - Her Mask Slips, and you get a glimpse of the real woman underneath the hennin.

This is the Vivienne who stands by you during the Siege of Haven and approves of you when you save the villagers from Corypheus’s horde.

This is the Vivienne who comforts you when you lament the losses you suffered.

This is the Vivienne who admires you for setting an example as a mage for the rest of Thedas.

This is the Vivienne who worries about Cole’s well-being during his personal quest, momentarily forgetting who or what he is. 

This is the Vivienne who, when her approval for the Inquisitor reaches rock bottom, desperately reminds him of the suffering mages go through on a day-to-day basis because of the fear and hatred non-mages are bred to feel towards them and how this can spiral into more bloodshed without safeguards. 

This is the Vivienne who shows how deep her affection for Bastien de Ghislain truly is, by bringing you along during his dying moments. I love this scene btw. This is the only moment in the entire game where Vivienne is actually herself in the presence of the Inquisitor - needless to say, I consider anyone who deliberately spikes her potion a motherfucking psychopath ^_^)

“There is nothing here now” fuck I *almost* cried at Vivienne, get out of my head BioWare, this is WRONG -- people who delude themselves this is an irredeemable character. 

So, who is Vivienne really?

Understanding Vivienne requires recognizing that the mask and the real woman aren’t the same person. I think her relationship with Dorian is the prime example of this. I love the Vivienne/Dorian banter train, obviously - an unstoppable force of sass colliding with an unmovable wall of smarm is nothing short of a spectacle. However, there’s more to it than their highly entertaining snipes. As the incredibly gifted son of a magister, Dorian represents everything Vivienne should despise, and should be a natural enemy to her. And yet, she doesn’t and he isn’t.. Their gilded japes at each other are nothing more than verbal sparring, not dissimilar to how Krem and Iron Bull call each other names when they beat each other with sticks. In what I think is one of the most brilliantly written interactions between characters in DAI, I present Vivienne’s reaction when the Inquisitor enters a romance with Dorian:

Vivienne: I received a letter the other day, Dorian. Dorian: Truly? It's nice to know you have friends. 🙄 Vivienne: It was from an acquaintance in Tevinter expressing his shock at the disturbing rumors about your... relationship with the Inquisitor. Dorian: Rumors you were only too happy to verify, I assume. 🙃 Vivienne: I informed him the only disturbing thing in evidence was his penmanship. 🙂 Dorian: ...Oh. Thank you. 😳 Vivienne: I am not so quick to judge, darling. See that you give me no reason to feel otherwise.

Madame de Fer can never be seen directly expressing approval to a relationship between the Herald of Andraste and an ‘Evil’ Tevinter ’Magister’. By this subtle, subtle conversation, Vivienne indirectly tells Dorian that she considers him a good match for the Inquisitor and approves of the romance. It’s one of those reasons why I could never truly dislike Vivienne - between the layers of elegant poison lies a somewhat decent woman who never loses sight of the bigger picture. Not a good person maybe, but not one without some redeeming qualities.

The crux of Vivienne’s personality is that she, like all DAI companions, is a social outcast. She’s a mage in a fantasy setting where mages are psionically linked to demons, and grew up in a country where the majority religion has openly advocated the shunning and leashing of mages (’Magic exists to serve man’ - the Chantry is so, so vile in this game.). Vivienne’s “gift” was discovered so early in her life that she can barely remember her parents. Vivienne grew up in a squalid boarding school, learning from a young age that she’s dangerous and her talents need to be tamed and curbed. She is also terrified of demons, as her banters with Cole point out:

Cole: You're afraid. You don't have to be. Vivienne: My dear Inquisitor, please restrain your pet demon. I do not want it addressing me. Inquisitor: He's not doing any harm, Vivienne. Vivienne: It's a demon, darling. All it can do is harm. Cole: Everything bright, roar of anger as the demon rears. No, I will not fall. No one will control me ever again. Cole: Flash of white as the world comes back. Shaking, hollow, Harrowed, but smiling at templars to show them I'm me. Cole: I am not like that. I can protect you. If Templars come for you, I will kill them. Vivienne: Delightful. 😑

Vivienne’s Harrowing is implied to have been such a traumatizing event to her that she’s developed a pavlovian fear of demons ever since. (Hence her hostility towards Cole.). Vivienne is fully aware of the inherent dangers of magic, and projects this onto all other mages. 

Besides, given how Dragon Age has a history with mages doing all sorts of fucked up shit, ranging from blood magic, murder, demonic possession and actual terrorism (yes, *ElthinaBITCH* had it coming, but let’s not pretend like Anders/Justice was anything other than a terrorist), Vivienne’s policies of controlled monitoring and vigilance are actually significantly more sensible than the options of ‘unconditionally freeing every mage all over Thedas’ and ‘reverting back to the status quo before the rebellion’. They’re flawed policies, obviously. When Vivienne says “mages” she pictures faceless silhouettes foremost and not herself. Regardless, unlike Cassandra and Leliana, Vivienne is aware of the fear others harbour for her kind, and how hard it is to overcome such perceptions.  

Additionally, Vivienne’s a foreigner. She is an ethnic Rivaini, a culture associated with smugglers and pirates (Isabela from DAO and DA2 is half-Rivaini). This adds an additional social stigma, again pointed out by Cole:

Cole: Stepping into the parlor, hem of my gown snagged, no, adjust before I go in, must look perfect. Vivienne: My dear, your pet is speaking again. Do silence it. Cole: Voices inside. Marquis Alphonse. Cole: "I do hope Duke Bastien puts out the lights before he touches her. But then, she must disappear in the dark." Cole: Gown tight between my fingers, cold all over. Unacceptable. Wheels turn, strings pull. Cole: He hurt you. You left a letter, let out a lie so he would do something foolish against the Inquisition. A trap. Vivienne: Inquisitor, as your demon lacks manners, perhaps you could get Solas to train it.

This is the only palpable example of the casual racism Vivienne has to endure on a daily basis - Marquis Alphonse is a stupid, bigoted pillowhead who sucks at The Game, but remember - Vivienne only kills him if the Inquisitor decides to be a butthurt thug. She is aware that for every Alphonse, there are dozens of greasy sycophants who think exactly like he does, and will keep it under wraps just to remain in her good graces. 

Finally, there’s the social position Vivienne manufactured for herself, which is the weak point towards her character imo. Remember, this woman is a commoner by birth. She doesn’t even have a surname. Through apparently sheer dumb luck (or satanic intervention) she basically fell into the position of Personal Mage to the Duke of Ghislain. Regardless, ‘Personal mages’ were the rage in Orlesian nobility, and the prestigious families owned by them like one may own a pet or personal property. By somehow becoming Bastien de Ghislain’s mistress and using his influence, "Madame de Fer” liberated herself from all the social stigmata which should have pinned her down into a lowly courtier rank and turned the largely ceremonial office of “Court Enchanter” into a position of respect and power. This is huge move towards mage emancipation by the way, in a society where, again, Mages are feared and shunned and are constantly bullied, emasculated and taught to hate their talents. Vivienne is a shining example of what mages can become at the height of their power. Power she has, mind you, never actually abused before her Divine election. Vivienne’s actions will forever be under scrutiny not because of who she is, but because of what she is. The Grand Game can spit her out at any moment, which will likely result in her death. 

Inquisitor: “You seem to be enjoying yourself, Vivienne?” Vivienne: “It’s The Game, darling. If I didn’t enjoy it, I’d be dead by now.”

Whether Vivienne was using Bastien for her own gain or whether she truly loved him isn’t a case of or/or. It’s a case of and/and. The perception that she was using Bastien makes Vivienne more fearsome and improves her position in the Grand Game, but deep down, I have no doubts truly loved him. Remember, Vivienne’s position at the Orlesian court was secure. She had nothing to gain by saving Bastien’s life, but she attempted to anyway. That Bastien’s sister is a High Cleric doesn’t matter - Vivienne can be elected Divine regardless of her personal quest’s resolution. She loved him, period. 

No, I don’t think Vivienne is a good person. She treats those she deems beneath her poorly, like Sera, Solas, Cole and Blackwall (characters I like less than Vivienne), which I think is the #1 indicator for a Bad Personality. But I don’t think she qualifies as ‘Evil’ either and I refuse to dismiss the beautiful layering of her character. I genuinely believe Vivienne joined the Inquisition not just for her personal gain, but also out of idealism, similar to Dorian (again, Cole is 100% correct in pointing out the similarities between Dorian’s and Vivienne’s motivations for joining, as discomforting it is to her). 

In her mind, Vivienne sees herself as the only person who can emancipate the mages without bloodshed - her personal accomplishments at the Orlesian court speak for themselves. Vivienne isn’t opposed to mage freedom - she worries for the consequences of radical change, as she believes Orlesian society unprepared for the consequences. Hence why she’s perfectly fine with a Divine Cassandra. Hence why her fellow mages immediately elect her Grand Enchanter of the new Circle. 

Hence why Vivienne is so terrified by the Inquisitor’s actions if her disapproval gets too low. The Inquisitor has the power to completely destroy everything she has built and fought for during her lifetime. Remember: Vivienne’s biggest fear is irrelevance - there’s no greater irrelevance than having your life achievements reverse-engineered by the accidental stumbling of some upstart nobody. This is the real reason why she joins, risks her life and gets her hands dirty - the only person whose competence Vivienne trusts, is Vivienne’s own. 

Even as Divine Victoria, I’d say she’s not bad, at all actually. Vivienne has the trappings of an an Enlightened Despot, maintaining full control, while simultaneously granting mages more responsibility and freedom, slowly laying the foundations to make mages more accepted and less persecuted in southern Thedas. Given that Ferelden is a feudal fiefdom and Orlais is an absolute monarchy, this is a fucking improvement are you kidding me. (Wait did he just imply Vivienne is secretly the best Divine - hmm, probably not because Cass/Leliana have better epilogues - but realistically speaking, yes, Viv should be the best Divine and it’s bullshit that the story disagrees.) 

Underneath the countless layers of smarm, frost and seeming callousness, lies a fiercely intelligent and brave woman, whose ideals have been twisted into perversion by the cruel, ungrateful world around her. Envy her for her ability to control her destiny, but know that envy is what it is.  

The flaw in Vivienne’s character isn’t so much the ‘tyranny’ or the ‘bitchiness’ or the 'smarm’. Her flaw is her false belief that she is what the mages need the most. Her belief that her competence gives her the prerogative to serve the unwashed mage masses... by ruling over them. For all intents and purposes, Vivienne is an Orlesian Magister and this will forever be the brilliant tragedy of her character. She was created by a corrupt institution that should, by all accounts fear and loathe her but instead embraced her. It’s that delirious irony that makes Vivienne de Fer one of the best fictional characters in RPG history.  the next post will be Eurovision-related. :-) 

[talkfastromance4]

stuck with u--calum hood (part ii)

Read part one here

word count: 4.7k

warnings: nsfw, boyfriend!cal, oral sex (female receiving), slight exhibitionism, slight cum talk, slight dirty talk, unprotected sex, 18+ please

Let me know if you’d like a part 3! I’ve got ideas but they revolve around baby Hood and I know I write that way too much but I can’t be tamed so if you don’t want that this will be the last part ok

Enjoy! :)

Masterlist

• • • •

She was finally able to visit her family for a few weeks with Calum and Duke accompanying her on the trip. Staying in her childhood bedroom had its drawbacks of not being intimate with each other. Not that Calum went without trying. He’d move in to give her a goodnight kiss, distracting her with his lips while his hand attempted to slip under her pajama bottoms.

“Hold your horses, handsy,” she’d giggle and pull his hand away. “Wait until we’re alone.”

“We are alone,” he’d pout against her neck.

“My parents are right across the hall. You know me, I can’t be quiet.” She’d play with his hair affectionately trying to appease him.

“I love that you can’t be quiet,” he’d smile back then sigh deeply, it tickled her skin. “Fine, but when we get back home…you’re mine.”

After rekindling their relationship, it was stronger than ever. They found a routine that included a workout regime while also spending some alone time apart. Sure, they still had their qualms, but the resolve was quicker than before.

She was so happy to help out with the Wildflower video when that happened and made sure to follow Andy’s instructions to a T as she helped him film it. She loved watching him do his own workout routine by the pool, his muscles rippling and glistening in the midday sun was a sight for sore eyes.

One day, he was holed up in his music room on a call with the guys. She assumed it was about tour and she could hear the frustration and sadness in his voice as she passed by to start dinner. While she cooked she suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over her because spending this time with him when he should be on tour made her happy.

His door opened half an hour later with him running his fingers through his hair in distress.

“Smells good, baby,” he says moving behind her. His hands rest on her waist, he kisses her cheek then holds her for a moment. He sighs heavily.

“What’s going on with the guys?” she asks carefully, not wanting to add her own salt to the wound.

“We couldn’t reschedule all the tour dates,” he says sadly. “We were thinking of making the set longer since it was held off, hopefully have the fifth album out before then so we can double new songs. We’ll see.”

“I think that’d be great, the fans would love a longer set.”

He hums in agreement watching her sprinkle some parmesan cheese over the fish, his lips pulsing on her shoulder like little fish kisses. When she has to put the pan in the oven, she pats his hands which he removes so she can do her task then sets the timer for the appropriate time. She takes Calum’s hand then leads him to the couch so they can sit together.

“What else is on your mind?” she asks curling her fingers in his hair, he leans into her touch resting his hand on her thigh.

“Ash said he’s been creating his own solo album since all of this started and he’s nearly finished with it.”

“Really? Wow, that’s great for him!”

“Yeah…it is,” he starts to chew on the nail of his thumb lost in thought. “It got me thinking.”

“Of?” she continues to play with his hair, his own hand rubbing circles on her thigh.

“What if I…I might want to put an actual book of my own writings together.”

“Really?! I think that’s an awesome idea!” she exclaims kissing his cheek excitedly.

“You do?”

“Yeah! Your writing is incredible, honey. Poetry is becoming such a big thing again, it helps others not feel so alone, it brings out their emotions. What would you write about?”

“You,” he smiles leaning forward to press a delicate kiss to her lips. “Me, the guys, growing up as a kid, other thoughts I have.”

“It already sounds like a bestseller.”

“I don’t know where to start,” he huffs. He shifts on the couch so he’s lying on her chest, his curls tickle her chin, they hug each other close.

“Wherever you want to,” she kisses the top of his head. “They’re your words, your thoughts, your feelings.”

They sit in a comfortable silence while dinner cooks, she continues to play with his hair and rub his back with her other hand. She’s excited to see his process with this, something that’s his own creation. When the oven timer goes off, he helps her set everything else up for dinner, both of them are stuck in their own thoughts and musings.

Bedtime rolls around and Calum’s been flipping through his brown leather notebook he always writes in and the one he gave her for her birthday. He’s waiting for something to jump out at him for a good place to start. While she sleeps, he thinks. And thinks. And thinks. Until an idea blooms in his mind.

The next morning, she wakes to a Calum-less side of the bed. She looks to the bathroom but he’s not in there, then she checks her phone if he texted her that he went to the store or something. She finds the coffee maker is still on with her mug and favorite ingredients set aside for her along with a small handwritten note from Calum.

“Be back soon, love. Getting something for the both of us to enjoy xx Cal”

She smiles at the note, fixes her coffee then ponders what he could possibly be getting for the both of them to enjoy. Her mind immediately goes to something sexual, but they haven’t really discussed anything out of the ordinary as of late. She also found it very sweet that he left a note instead of a text, his romanticism never fails.

Upon waiting for his return, she rinses the dishes and puts them in the dish washer, then decides to take a quick shower. She pulls on some fabric shorts and one of his shirts then prattles about the house until Duke’s barking signifies his arrival.

“Y/N?”

She comes by the door where Calum quickly lifts her into his arms and spins her around, his rumbling laughter makers her join in even though she doesn’t know the joke.

“Where have you been?”

“Come outside but close your eyes.”

He takes her hand then covers her eyes with the other, leading her to the front of the house. Their feet knock together as he guides her to where he wants her.

“Okay, are you ready?”

“Did you get me a pony?” she teases.

“No, silly girl,” he chuckles then removes his hand, but she keeps her eyes closed. “Open.”

When she does, she’s staring at a mini retro camper that’s yellow and white with an outline of a dog painted on the front. She gasps at it; they’ve always talked about getting one so they could do a camping trip together.

“What do you think? Want to check the inside out? It’s pretty spacious inside,” he grins mischievously pulling open the door.

“Oh yeah? Give me the grand tour, sir.”

She takes his hand helping her step inside. Her mouth opens in shock at the updated version inside. White cabinets and furnished wood flooring make the space appear bigger. There’s a small nook with a table for eating, the kitchenette is small with a door leading to the toilet and across that is a small shower. Two small steps lead up to a large bed decorated with an orange bedspread and see through curtains over the back window. Up front is a small couch with pillows and a blanket.

“And, check this out,” he ducks in front of her then pushes a button, a medium flat screen appears behind two cabinets. “We can plug in our firestick as long as we’re in range of a Wifi spot so we can watch Netflix, Hulu, Disney+.”

She looks at all the small details, she loves the wicker basket ottoman in the center of the room and there’s already a small dog bed for Duke next to the table. She loves it.

“I was thinking we could go camping along the coast, I already found two great campsites, bought a grill and other camping supplies. I figured we could get away for a bit, out of the house and into the outdoors. I can work on my writing and it will be relaxing and romantic. What do you think?”

She turns around to stare at him, his head just barely touches the ceiling, but his eyes are bright with excitement. He’s glowing in this little camper that is now theirs. She closes the space between them and wraps her arms around his shoulders giving him a big kiss.

“I think that’s the best idea I’ve ever heard,” she whispers on his lips. “I love it. When can we go? We’ll need to go grocery shopping and get bug spray and travel sized shampoo and other things. Those are so cute, they’re so compact. We’ll have to pack for Duke. I’ll make a list and—”

He silences her rambling with a kiss then backs her further into the camper towards the bed. She crawls into the middle of it, their lips still locked. When he presses his hips against hers, she can feel his arousal and she moans.

“We can do all of that after I take you right here, baby,” he mumbles shifting his lips to her jaw. He lies her back against the orange and white pillows. “We need to christen this bed, hm?”

“Mhm,” she sighs enjoying the feel of his plush lips on her skin. She turns her head to the right so he can continue his kissing path then she notices the door. “Shut the door.”

“Everyone’s in their houses…”

“Cal,” she laughs pushing on his shoulder playfully. “If you go close the door, I’ll be naked and waiting for you.”

That grabs his attention. He pulls back giving her a questioning look. He bounds off the bed, the camper rocking with his motions as he shuts the door and locks it. By the time he’s back at the steps, she is indeed naked, trailing her fingers down and over her breasts to in between her legs. She lifts a finger, motioning him forward in a ‘come here’ fashion.

“Fuck,” he sighs and removes his own clothes, quickly joining her on the bed.

She giggles at his excitement dragging his mouth to hers, his hand grips at her thigh then curves in between her folds. Moans replace her giggles when his finger slips inside, curling and twiddling against her spongy wall.

“So wet already? Can’t have you ruin this new bedspread before we get on the road, can I?”

“What are you gonna do about it?” she smirks, then winces when he removes his finger.

“Lick you up.”

He looks up at her with lust filled eyes, brushing his lips in barely there kisses down her stomach then wiggles his tongue over her clit. He moans at the taste and laves her up more with his tongue.

“Mm, Cal…” she whines wriggling her upper body. He flattens his tongue, doing deep swipes up and down her folds before suctioning onto her clit. She rests her heel on his shoulder just when he inserts a finger. “Yes!”

He smiles against her, pumping his finger slowly paired with the roll of his tongue. He adds another and ups the ante until she’s panting in staccato breaths. Moans tickle past her tongue the faster he goes chasing her orgasm.

“Come for me, baby…let me feel you,” he whispers and at his words her stomach clenches and her heart jolts in her chest. He moans with her to heighten the arousal then when she teeters off he kisses the inside of her thigh. “Good girl.”

He moves his face back, but she pulls on his hair, jerking his head up so he looks at her.

“Need you now. Please,” she whimpers.

Very slowly, he licks his lips then pulls his fingers out of her. Very slowly, he licks those, too before clambering on top of her. She reaches for his hardened dick, guiding him inside. He sinks into her easily, moaning into her mouth while he fucks her. She rocks her hips with his, meeting his rhythm with a desirable frenzy.

Their motions are rocking the camper slightly, the bed squeaks quietly as they pursue their high together.

“Feel so good,” he pants on her mouth.

“Faster, faster,” she begs.

A few more quick snaps and she cries out in a loud moan, Calum’s body jerks against hers then he pulls out quickly as he releases on her stomach and then they’re both breathing heavily. She swallows thickly, letting out a gust of air and pets his curls that are now a perfect blend of blond and black. Calum lifts his head and tugs on her bottom lip with his teeth.

“I think we rocked this camper.”

She bursts into laughter then sighs, “Yeah we did. You rocked my world, for sure. Giving me a workout in my legs, babe.”

“Sore?” he kisses her nose then slowly rolls onto his back and moves into the small bathroom. He grabs toilet paper wipes himself off, pulls his boxers and pants back on then kneels on the bed to help clean between her legs and on her stomach.

“Thank you.”

“’Course,” he grins peppering kisses on her belly.

“Lay with me for a bit,” she tugs him down next to her, wincing as she lets her legs relax. She fells the strain in her thighs already and shifts into a comfortable position against him. “We’re really going to do this, right? Go camping and leave the world behind for a bit?”

“We’re going to do this,” he strokes her cheek in assurance, loving how flushed they are from the sex they just had. “You and me and Duke. We’ll make smores, nap in here whenever we want—and yes it has air conditioning,” he laughs.

“It sounds so nice,” she sighs closing her eyes then yawns. She usually falls asleep right after, he wears her out.

“Let’s not sleep out here yet, we gotta check on Duke and start a list.”

“I need to shower first,” she sits up stretching her arms above her head. “Toilet paper doesn’t really get the job done.”

“Can I join you?” he smirks springing into a sitting position and kisses her shoulder.

**

Setting up their campsite didn’t take too long when they arrived. The awning on the camper was easy to assemble and setting up their chairs in the front didn’t take that long as well. The camper was already stocked with the food they bought with their clothes in the drawers set about the whole perimeter. She even added a photo of her, Calum and Duke on one wall so it was officially theirs.

They walked along the beach with Duke collecting shells and sea glass they found. They snacked when they wanted, took a nap in their bed with the windows open. It wasn’t until the third day that Calum was struck with inspiration for his poetry book. He sat out in the sun for a while before she woke up, then when he heard commotion he walked in to see her in nothing but his tank top.

The hem just barely covered her ass, she looked sleepy and beautiful while she sang along to the song “Something” by The Beatles and started the coffee pot. He snatched his phone out quickly, took a sneaky picture of her then opened up his notebook, his pen flying across the page.

From then on the words continued to pour out of him. He thought of words and phrases all day, all of them were mainly about Y/N but he didn’t find anything wrong about that. While they sat around their small campfire, they would play their ukuleles together as the sparks became stars.

He’d ask her for help sometimes if he got stuck on the structure of a poem or if he should keep one line or a different one so it would flow better. She was more than happy to help when asked. Sometimes, right before bed, they’d shut all of the lights off and leave the windows and curtains open so the sound of the ocean waves would blow in. They’d be illuminated by the glow of the stars and moon; hands would wander in soft caresses while his lips kissed the shell of her ear.

After about a week and a half when they went into town to use the laundromat, he was on the phone with Michael then with Ashton. She’s reading the poems he’s finished so far, Calum is tracing his fingers over her back while he’s on the phone, but she’s not paying attention. She’s immersed in his words.

“Y/N….babe…hey love,” his voice pulls her from the words on the page.

“Huh, what? Is the wash done?”

“No,” he grins then crouches in front of her. “How would you feel about meeting up with Mike and Crystal at their little getaway in the hills then heading to the desert with Ash for his album release?”

“Sounds like fun,” she smiles. “When do we leave?”

The windows are down as they cruise along the highway towards Michael and Crystal’s campsite. They’re only staying for five days and Y/N is staring at Calum as he drives. His hair flicks in the wind, he has some scruff forming on his jaw and chin that she loves. It’s a soft scratch on her own cheek or in between her thighs that sends her heart haywire.

“Whaddaya starin’ at over there, little lady?” he smirks then goes right back into singing along with Voodoo by ASL.

“Just you,” she grins then notices a love bite is still red on his neck. She touches it with her finger. “I feel selfish for loving all this time with you.”

“Why do you feel selfish?”

“Because you’d be on tour right now. I feel bad for feeling happy.”

“I get it,” he nods then flashes her a smile, eyes sparkling. “Would it make you feel better if I said I’m happy I’m not on tour right now, too? It’s not ideal for a break but I think it’s a break we all need.”

“Yeah…you all seem more…relaxed. Do the guys know about your poetry project?”

“No, I’m gonna wait until I’m finished with it. I also don’t want to take away from Ash’s moment.”

Michael and Crystal’s camper was much larger than theirs, one side was completely made of glass with sliding doors that overlooked the hills and dunes. The four of them went on a hike with Duke in tow and took plenty of pictures with each other.

All too soon it was time to travel on to the desert where Ashton had a whole set up. He rented out some cabins that looked more like tents on a wooden deck. Calum and Y/N opted out so they could use their camper. While his album played in the calm desert night, Y/N and Calum were snuggled up together discussing the songs quietly with each other.

“I’m going to get ready for bed,” she tells him when the album’s played through.

“Already?” Calum asks kissing her cheek.

“Yeah, long day of driving. I’ll get our sleep things ready,” she grins at him.

“I’ll be in soon,” he wraps his arms around her for a hug. “If you wanna sleep naked tonight, I wouldn’t object to that.”

She giggles and smacks his chest playfully.

“And risk our friends sneaking a peek? I don’t think so, babe,” she snickers then bids everyone else goodnight.

Calum watches her leave, his eyes lowering to her sweatpants covered butt that still looks so adorable.

“Stop staring at me, Hood!” she shouts tossing him a flirty smile over her shoulder.

“Can’t help it, my girl’s hot!” he shouts back, and she shakes her head.

He stays with their group of friends for another twenty minutes until he heads inside, Duke trotting along with him. He circles his bed three times then lays down sighing heavily. Calum locks the door, Y/N’s leaning over their bed adjusting the pillows and curtains. All she has on is one of Calum’s t-shirts black cotton panties with pink lace along the edges.

She heard him come in but didn’t turn around, her focus is on the task at hand at assembling their bed. Calum’s hot hands are on her waist, his fingertips gracing the front of her thighs, his mouth by her ear makes her gasp in surprise.

“You’re not naked, but I love this view, too,” he whispers, his teeth grazing her ear lobe.

Shivers spike her neck as Calum presses himself against her, his hard on apparent against her ass. She bites her lip to suppress the moan when his tongue licks at her neck, his thumbs kneading her ass. His lips kiss her skin delicately before he sucks on it, the air from his nose tickles her skin.

“That tickles,” she sighs leaning against him to feel some form of stimulation on her covered core.

“Should I put my lips somewhere else?” he asks, his fingers already pulling down her panties. The fabric falls to her feet, she kicks it away and Calum palms her ass a little roughly. He gives her a light smack, she yelps in response.

“Where’d you…have in mind?” she swallows thickly attempting to turn around. His hands press on her waist to keep her leaning face forward against the bed.

“Stay right there.”

He kisses her lips quickly then drops to his knees; he pushes apart her legs.

“Can you bend over for me, baby? Let me see how wet you are…” he nips at her ass as she complies, his thumbs spreading her open. He hums at the sigh. “You’re throbbing for me, hm?”

“Caaaal,” she whines pushing her ass backwards.

He chuckles and bites her other cheek. He kisses down her thigh, pausing over her dripping core and kisses the other thigh. She groans in frustration and Calum chuckles darkly rubbing his stubble on her flesh.

“Please, please, please,” she whispers shifting her feet.

He loves to tease her, but he loves to please her more, so he closes his mouth around her pussy, his tongue pulsing against her clit. She lets out a small shriek from his wet tongue finally making contact where she’s been needing him. He laps at her furiously as if he’s in a race with himself to make her cum in record time.

His speed does the job because she’s grasping at the bedspread, breathing heavily, her body warming up as her orgasm takes over. She moans his name, her ears ringing as he keeps going, his tongue and lips slurping and suctioning away.

“You sound so hot,” he pants but continues working her over into another orgasm.

All too quickly, he removes his mouth while her orgasm ebbs away. She hears him shuck off his pants then feels his tip nudge between her folds. She lets out a loud moan from more teasing, her fingers clutching at the bedspread. He teases her entrance more and she can’t take it any longer.

“Fuck, Calum…please, no more teasing.”

“You want me that badly, baby?” he leans over her, pressing his weight against her ass with his tip inching in further.

“Yes,” she groans.

“Will you two be quiet?! For fuck’s sake.”

“Don’t listen, then!” Calum shouts back to Ashton and she looks up to see the window by their bed is still open. The curtains lifting lightly from the breeze.

“Cal!” she squeals and pushes the button for the light. They’re flooded in darkness, but she still desperately needs him.

“Kind of hard when Y/N’s so loud!”

“Plug your ears!” Calum calls and presses himself into her more then teases himself back out.

“Cal?” she lifts her head from the bed craning her neck to look at him.

“Yeah baby?”

“Screaming at Ashton is kind of killing the mood. I can be quiet.”

“I like you loud,” he sighs inserting himself once more, this time further than before. She gasps at the stretch.

“We can wait. I—ohh.”

Calum buries himself inside her, filling her completely and silencing whatever she was going to say. He thrusts gently then pulls out until he finds a good pace, the shirt of his that she’s wearing rides up her back. She closes her eyes from the glorious sensation of his pulls and pushes, biting her lip to try and stay quiet. When he hits a certain spot one spills out so she shoves her knuckles in her mouth.

“No, no, give me your hands,” he pants.

He pulls her hand from her mouth, twisting her arms behind her back and holds them in place on her back. He leans over, the angle causing him to push deeper inside her, he thrusts in tiny pulses.

“Want you to be as loud as you can for me, yeah? You like when I take you from behind?” he pulls back slowly and pauses waiting for an answer.

“Feels so good,” she whines into the bedspread. Having her wrists bound by his hand adds to the excitement and her pleasure, the restraint is enticing.

He grins, stands up straight then plunges inside her with force. It makes her cry out in pleasure and he picks up a quick pace, her body pushes against the bed. He squeezes her wrists then smacks her ass every once in a while. She clenches around him sporadically, small orgasms building to the big one that he knows she’s never silent for. Her breathing picks up and so does his.

“There, there, there, yes, yes, yes!” she cries out and he picks up the pace, tightening his hold on her wrists.

She squeezes his cock, a long-pleasured screech breaking through the surface of the bedspread. It’s animalistic and so sexy that he doesn’t even have time to pull out because he’s coming as well. His stomach tightens and untightens, her rapid clenching dragging his orgasm further.

He breathes evenly through his nose once he relaxes, her own body going lax beneath him and he loosens his hold on her wrists. They fall slack beside her as she tries to catch her own breath.

“Don’t move,” murmurs and pulls out of her slowly. She lets out a soft cry from the loss of him inside her, his arousal leaking out a little. He reaches for a washcloth hanging on the towel bar and wets it in the small bathroom sink. “I got you, baby, hold on.”

She gives a non-committal groan as he cleans her up, his teeth marks and a small red shape from his hand stare back at him. He kisses the marks softly, making sure to be careful at her sensitivity. He grabs a towel and dries her off then helps her back into her panties.

“C’mon, into bed,” he says lifting her gently onto the mattress. She falls into a heap, rolling over sluggishly and stares at him through blissful eyes. She reaches for him. “I’m going to brush my teeth quick, then I’m yours, love.”

He’s true to his word and brushes his teeth quickly. When he climbs into bed she latches herself onto him quickly, dragging his mouth to hers in a lazy kiss.

“I’d say I’m mad that all of our friends just heard us have sex, but I’m too fucked out to really mean it,” she murmurs. He laughs against her lips.

“It’s payback for all the times I’ve heard them. They really don’t care, baby,” he slips his hand under her shirt to tickle her back.

“You know what?”

“Hm?”

“Next time can we actually tie my hands together?”

He perks up at that suggestion. “Really?”

“Yeah, I liked it,” she giggles.

“I liked it, too,” he smiles brushing his lips over her hair. “You want to know something?”

“Hm?”

“I just thought of a dozen poems. Your body’s like poetry.”

The rest of the night is spent in lazy kisses until they eventually fall asleep, words and prose circulating in his dreams.

Taglist: @calpalirwin​​  @thecurlsofgod​​ @myloverboyash​​ @rotten-kandy​​ @tea4sykes​​ @jannimoeller3​​ @loveroflrh​​ @iovehemmings​​ @cxddlyash​​ @princesslrh​​  @katiaw2​​ @g-l-pierce​​ @fairyintheglass​​ @gosh-im-short​​ @banditocth @dezzym17  @lukeisbaby​​ @spicycal​​ @mysticalhood​​ @notinthesameguey​​ @wastedheartcth​​  @itjustkindahappenedreally​​ @calumance​​ @babylon-corgis​​ @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt​​ @lanternlover2​​ @istaywithmyjonas​​ @calteahood​​ @sarcastically-defensive17​​ @another-lonely-heart​​ @devilatmydoor​​ @frontmanash​​ @philthepegacorn​​ @mantlereid @lukedorkyhemmings​​ @addietagglikesbands​​ @kikixfandoms @sanrioluke​​ @mayve-hems​​ @morguelth @haikucal​​ @thatscooibaby​​ @meghanrose05​​​ @idontneedanyone​​​ @nicebasscalum​​​ @haveufoundwhaturlooking4​ @suchalonelysunflower​​​ @burstintocolor​​​ @zhangyixingxing1​​​ @dead-and-golden​​​ @mymindwide​​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​​​ @stardust-galaxies​​​ @blackbutterfliescal​​​ @redrattlers​​​ @lovelybonesetc​​​ @karajaynetoday​​​ @quasighost​​​ @i-like-5sos​​​ @creampiecashton​​​ @calpops​​ @superbloomed-c​​ @ophelia-enthusiast​​ @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof​​ @flaneurcth​

[procrastinatorproject]

Fic writer review, thank you to @thelaithlyworm  for the tag <3

how many works do you have on AO3?

Ten? Oh no, it’s actualy 12 now!

what’s your total AO3 word count?

86,468

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Grand total of 1: Star Trek: Picard - although my latest offering might branch a bit into other Trek as well.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“Passengers”

“And a Barrel of Gagh”

“CMO’s Log”

“Preparations”

“Game Night���

Which is actually kinda interesting. I wrote Passengers, Preparations, and Game Night while the fandom was still a lot more active (especially in the Aramis in Space corner), so that makes sense. The CMO’s log has had chapters added every few months, giving it probably the most exposure of any of my fics. Barrel of Gagh, though? I think I’m gonna attribute that to Thimblerig turning it into a truly, TRULY brilliant piece of podfic. Also the fact that it’s whump involving a character played by Santiago Cabrera. ‘tis A Thing..... :D

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try to! I love talking with people in the comments and just... thanking the people who found the time and energy to leave comments. But especially in the last few months I have gotten very bad at keeping up with the comments and now there’s about two dozen that I have neglected to reply to for a painfully long time 🙈

But I will get there! Because I love that kind of interaction!

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

So far, none of them have had angsty endings. Angsty middles, yes, but not endings. I’m just a sucker for everyone being happy in the end. Or at least on the way to being better, and supported and cared for on that way.

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t yet, but I’m definitely not opposed. One of the threads of my 200k unpublishable whump scenes takes place in a continuity that has existed in my daydreams for... I wanna say six years at the very least, probably longer. It’s mostly straight-up Star Trek, but with the twist that it involves the Wraith, the telepathic, hive-minded alien race from Stargate: Atlantis that suck the life force out of you with their hands? Or, well, at least a variation thereof.

I once typed up the world building for that particular setting and it took me three hours to try and make it all make sense. So it’s... involved. But not necessarily “crazy”. And I’m not sure I’m ever actually going to publish any of the stories I have set in it (not least because that would envolve finishing any of them and bringing them into a form that is interesting to read for anyone but me...)

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Hm, not yet. I do enjoy reading smut, but only under very specific circumstances. I think I may eventually try my hand at smut, but the inner prude is still very strong. Writing about Rios and Xyr making out (which, honestly, was really tame, all things considered) made me melt in a puddle of blushing embarrassment, so full-on smut is probably beyond me at the moment. One day!

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Though litigating that in a fandom like ours would be... tricky. ST:Pic is way too small to steal stories outright. But similar or the same ideas pop up all the time. And it’s a complete coincidence. Reading the book that recently came out and that has a kinda similar setting to a lot of my stories (pre-season 1, early in Rios’s history as captain of Sirena, dealing with original characters, holo shenanigans, friendship with Raffi, etc.), I was struck by just how many elements, both scenes or story beats and little details, were similar to things that have cropped up in my writing. And it is entirely coincidental, because I am beyond certain that the author doesn’t read fanfic. Just... for legal reasons. Not to mention I wrote a bunch of the things I saw parallels to while the book was already in production, and some of them are only in my drafts.

So there is a ton of convergent evolution going on in this particular section of the fandom, and trying to litigate who came up with certain plot ideas or character beats when would be a sysiphean disaster. Some things are clear and whenever I use any of them I give credit where I can, but people will have very similar ideas. It just happens. So no, I haven’t had either a full-on story or “an idea” stolen, and I might change my tune if it ever does happen, but so far, I’m trying to practice equanimity, so I’ll be better at it should I ever need it.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Sadly no. My dad keeps complaining that all my fic is in English so he can’t read any of it, but honestly? I’m kinda glad for this very convenient excuse. Maybe if I ever feel like I want to practice my interpreting skills, I will give translating the stories into German a shot. We’ll see. Otherwise, if anyone feels inspired: Have at it! Just let me know, okay?

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not quite. I have a draft of off-the-cuff worldbuilding that I wrote on Discord with @curator-on-ao3 and that I would love to turn into an actual short fic (letters from a conference on holo-ethics), but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

what’s your all time favorite ship?

I don’t really do shipping.

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL NEVER ACCEPT DEFEAT!!!! One day, I will write the next installment of Star Trek: La Sirena! I have so many ideas for that continuity and those characters. I’m not going to abandon them!

what are your writing strengths?

Hmmmmm. Probably detailed worldbuilding? Ask me something about, say, a technological or cultural aspect of Star Trek and chances are, I have thought about it in the past or will come up with three different sets of intricate lore within half an hour. (Things like... the architecture of San Francisco, or Will there still be taxi drivers? or the treaty between IKEA Intergalactic and the Borg Collective, or the Universal Translator, or Emergency Services or Why There Are Very Few Ambulances On Earth Anymore etceterah etceterah...)

I’m also good at slapping together off-the-cuff plot ideas (if, say, you need an explanation for how Seven and Agnes ended up stranded on a desert island, I could probably give you three different scenarios pretty quickly. Just don’t ask me to make them poignant or actually write them.

I’m also very, very good at beginnings.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Everything that isn’t a beginning. Especially endings, or rather: finishing something, but also just... keeping momentum.

I think my dialogue is somewhat samey and not distinct enough between characters. (Also my witty banter is... let’s just say it doesn’t come to me naturally...)

And I also struggle with keeping things brief and to the point. I can write you 30k of whump covering a span of three hours, but fitting a whole story in the same space? Much more difficult!

I have also avoided writing full-on action so far, but where it has crept in it has always been a struggle and been workshopped a lot with the indefatigable beta.

Otherwise, I don’t know. My self-perception is always a little warped, so I’m not sure what other people would say my weaknesses are.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oof. Well. I have used Spanish sentences in my fic and done the thing where they’re translated in the end note, but I’ve mostly done it sparingly. I’ve also done the ‘“What do you want?” he said in Spanish.’ It’s tricky. But I will likely keep doing it in some instances, even if it’s a bit annoying.

(It also really helps to have a native speaker of Spanish as a beta, even if it’s Spanish from a different region than you’re character.)

Speaking of regional: I’m also torn about the whole “phonetically writing out accents” issue. Some people love it, some people hate it, I’m really unsure because I’m not a native speaker of English, so I’m not even sure I’m consistent in my narrative voice’s regional quirks. So far, I’ve mostly gone with describing that an accent is happening, and only writing out when phrasing actually differs from standard English. Like Ian (Scottish) saying “dinnae” but not writing “I” as “ah” as you’d see on, say, Scottish twitter.

Though it can be a very useful tool if, for instance, you want to indicate a characters accent getting stronger as they get tired or upset. 🧐

Anyway, I don’t think there is one right or wrong answer here and everyones milage will vary.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Published? ST:PIC

Actually first? Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. Pretty much simultaneously, though I did write more for LotR. On graph paper, mind, with my fountain pen turned upside down so I could write smaller. I still have folders worth of those stories that I urgently need to digitize before they fade and I lose them forever...

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I’m going to quote @thelaithlyworm here: I Love All My Children Equally! I honestly couldn’t say. They are different and I love them for different reasons but I love them all.

Thank you for the tag! ❤ I’ve kinda lost track of who all has done this already or has already been tagged, so feel free to ignore me! But I tink I’m tagging @curator-on-ao3, @aini-nufire, @29-pieces, @flowers-creativity, @highfunctioningflailgirl, @cristobalrios and @the-goofball. And anyone else whom I forgot or who feels inspired to do this!

[shadow-sovereign]

Part 1

I’ve got another Ryuji/Jin-Woo fic idea in an au world.

Let’s start with the setting: It’s a low tech world where everyone has magic. There’s no cars or computers, but they have magic-powered appliances like fridges and blenders. And the continent is broken up into different kingdoms.

Magic beasts roam the world, though I’m still debating whether it���ll be a natural occurrence or a result of gates. Could be a mix of both. Either way, it means they need Adventurers or Knights to deal with said creatures and protect the public.

In this world, people can grow their magical potential through training, though once they get to a certain point, it becomes harder to advance. Like, everyone naturally has a plateau point where it becomes harder to get stronger, and it’s different for everyone.

This story centers around Jin-Woo and Ryuji, who are Knights in King Go Gun-Hee’s army. Ryuji is the General (the top position) and Jin-Woo would be a...Captain? I imagine the top ranks going Captain, Commander, General.

At this point, Jin-Woo is in his twenties and stronger than Ryuji, which is why he’s gotten Captain rank already. But the King (who’s in charge of top ranking promotions) wants his Commander class to have more experience leading missions.

So, I imagine the backstory of this being that Jin-Woo joined the military when he was 16 (the youngest that they’re allowed). He was in training for two years, where he occasionally ran into Ryuji and developed a bit of a crush.

At 18, he started going on missions, protecting civilians from magical beasts. He discovered that he has a beast taming skill (somewhat rare!), which got the King’s attention. The stronger someone’s magic is, the more beasts they can tame, so the King assigned some tutors to him, to focus attention on training his magic to grow.

It even got him Ryuji’s attention, who likes to recruit strong Knights into his division. (Commanders have their own divisions and Captains have teams. The general has his own division too, but he’s also in charge of the entire army.)

So, Ryuji and Jin-Woo started training sometimes and going on missions together. By the time Jin-Woo is twenty, his small crush has turned into full blown infatuation and love. But he never makes a move, because Ryuji is known for sleeping around. (Not necessarily deep commitment issues like in ‘My love is a fire’ but he just doesn’t pursue people for long-term relationships. Open to the possibility, but he doesn’t go looking for love.)

Ryuji is also known for how proud he is of being the strongest fighter in the country. He doesn’t like competition. (Rumors even fly that he’ll try to take the crown when Go Gun-Hee passes, whether he’s named heir or not).

At first, Ryuji isn’t threatened by Jin-Woo’s growing strength, just excited for another strong fighter under his command. But then Jin-Woo passes his second in command and he starts getting worried. Then agitated.

Jin-Woo notices what's going on, but even with him trying to hide how fast his power is growing, it quickly becomes obvious when he surpasses Ryuji. It completely sours their growing mentor/mentee relationship.

Ryuji grows resentful of Jin-Woo’s power, jealous and threatened that someone is stronger than him. He can’t entirely avoid Jin-Woo, not when they’re sometimes the best two for a mission, but he puts distance between them.

Jin-Woo is not happy about that at all. He tries being nice at first, but when that doesn’t work, he tries out various ways to get Ryuji’s attention. (Like with kids, negative attention is better than no attention at all.)

He’s never deliberately rude, as he doesn’t want Ryuji’s dislike of him to grow, but he starts trying to banter with him. Finding what will make Ryuji respond, maybe bringing out his competitive side.

Though what they’ll compete about, I’m not sure. It can’t be purely physical activities that Jin-Woo could brute force his way through with strength. But maybe skill-based activities that Ryuji has just as much chance of winning, especially since he’s older and has tried out more things?

But their competitions won’t be the main focus of the fic, so I won’t spend too much time mulling over that.

So, the main timeline of the fic will be when Ryuji is in his forties and Jin-Woo is in his late twenties. I’ll probably have a chapter or two for the backstory, then get into the main plot.

I’m still working on some of the exact details, but let’s say there’s some tension with a neighboring country. They’ve had some skirmishes with them and Go Gun Hee’s efforts at diplomacy aren’t yielding much results, so it looks like a war might be brewing.

Ryuji decides that this is a golden opportunity. He’s been wanting to rule for a while now, but he has doubts that Go Gun-Hee will name him as heir and trying to forcibly take over after his death will have its own complications. Maybe he doesn’t want to spark a civil war in his birth country?

So, he decides that he wants to take over this ‘enemy’ nation. But how to do so?

He’s got some strong, loyal allies who might be willing to help out. (The S-ranks that were in his guild in the canon world.) They’ll be fighting the enemy soldiers, anyway, but they would need enough power to get a foothold into the country. To make their way to the capitol city and defeat that nation’s ruler.

His mind flashes to Sung’s beast taming ability, envious. If he had that skill, he could create an army of loyal soldiers. And then inspiration strikes. Just because he doesn’t have the ability, doesn’t mean he can’t make use of it. But how to get Sung on board?

He’s known Jin-Woo long enough to know that he has his own moral code. One that might balk at disposing of a foreign royal to put someone he doesn’t get along with in charge. (He doesn’t yet realize that the rivalry with Jin-Woo is one-sided.)

So, the odds of him convincing Sung to help him take over a country seem low. He goes looking through his library, searching for possibilities.

In this world, people can have a wide range of gifts, some that need specific circumstances to unlock. So, he’s been collecting books about obscure magic, both to see if he might have some of these gifts, and to know what to test his loyal people for. To see if they have any useful gifts that can be unlocked.

And he comes across a very rare form of magic, a type of control magic. Not mind control, but using mana to control another person’s actions. But it’s not something that can be learned.

Ryuji almost gives up on the idea, until he reads a detail that some with this gift can enchant an object to act as a control object, and the control of said object’s abilities can be transferred to another.

[That was a clunky way of saying it, but it’s basically this. Person with ability enchants collar. Gives control of collar to Ryuji. Now whoever’s wearing the collar will be forced to obey Ryuji.]

It seems like the perfect solution, but how does he find one of these people?

With a great deal of searching. Luckily, he does have a network of people that he can ask to keep an ear out for rumors of someone with this gift.

When he hears of something that seems promising, he goes on a trip and finds someone with that gift. [It probably won’t be from his pov, though. Jin-Woo will just notice that he’s gone for a while.]

And when he comes back….he somehow gets the collar on Jin-Woo.

Somehow.

I haven’t figured that part out yet.

Tricks him into it, maybe? Makes a bet with him?

Perhaps the collar will latch onto Jin-Woo’s neck if Ryuji gets it close enough.

The collar is powered through the wearer’s own mana, so Jin-Woo can’t just overpower it. Supposedly. In reality, Jin-Woo gets the sense that he could overpower it. (The same way the giants in canon were able to overpower that barrier Yuri Orlov put up.)

But Jin-Woo holds off on trying to break free because he wants to know what the heck Ryuji wants badly enough to put a slave collar on him. (Sadly for Jin-Woo, Ryuji is only focused on getting an army and not anything...else.)

And I think I’ll have part 1 end here, with part 2 being on pillowfort. Because Jin-Woo’s reaction to the collar isn’t exactly PG. I don’t want to post anything not SFW on tumblr, in case it gets deleted.

I don’t post a lot on pillowfort, but it’s for anytime I have a not SFW story idea I want to share. And if tumblr ever gets deleted off the internet for some reason (like getting sued into the ground), then you’ll be able to find me on pillowfort. It’s my backup website.

https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/2283048

[pparkerpoetry]

Face Reality (Part 12)

Title: Secrets Fester (but they aren’t the only things that grow)

Summary: Tommy's hybrid half urges him to seek out his family. Sam is hiding something, but they don't know what. Tubbo learns about a part of himself he didn't know existed and is reminded of his past.

Part One

Part Thirteen

Masterlist

___________

Tommy woke up last a few days later to a soft trilling in the corners of his mind. He groaned- it was his turn for a thin day, apparently. He wasn’t surprised, he’d read that families tended to group their days close together. 

 He sat up and sighed. His thin days were always embarrassing, his stupid little bird brain always wanted to spend time with his family, and constantly wanted cuddles. Tommy didn’t want cuddles.

 Yes you do.

 Tommy huffed. No, he didn’t want cuddles. He wanted to get through the day without getting teased. Maybe he could just stay in his room all day. Yes, that was a good idea.

 Make a nest? His mind asked, getting excited.

 He rolled his eyes. Okay, maybe he could make a nest. That was relatively normal, right? His hands moved to grasp the blankets and shape them into a sort of circling wall, with enough space in the middle for him to curl up underneath his wings. He ignored the happy cooing that his mind wanted to release- he couldn’t just chirp and trill, that’d bring noise, and noise meant someone coming in, which meant embarrassment. He didn’t want that.

 Flock, The bird in him trilled sadly. Where’s your flock?

 “Busy,” Tommy grumbled, moving a wing to cover his face. “So shut the fuck up.”

 He stayed there, keeping the sounds at bay, for a long time. Too long.

 There was a knock at the door. “Hey, Tommy?” Ranboo asked. “Are you alright? It’s almost noon, and you never sleep in this long.”

 Tommy opened his mouth to say he was fine, but a distressed chirp escaped instead. He winced, hoping Ranboo didn’t hear it.

 “Uh, pardon?” Ranboo chuckled a little. “Can I come in?”

 He wanted to say no. But the part that wanted to say no was overpowered by his bird brain. Literally. “Yes.” He sighed reluctantly.

 When he walked in, Ranboo immediately spoke. “Aww, Tommy, is it a thin day?”

 He nodded miserably, forgetting that his wing was covering his face. 

 “Aw, Tommy, come on, most of us are in the living room.”

 His stupid bird sounds made him give out a happy trill, and then he cut it off with a grumble. “They’re gonna tease me.”

 Flock? Flock? 

 Ranboo lifted Tommy’s wing and stared at his face. “If I make them promise you aren’t going to say anything, will you come out? It’s not healthy to suppress this.”

 Tommy sighed. “Fine. But they need to promise to not take any photos for blackmail.”

 Ranboo left the room, which his mind didn’t like, but he sucked it up. Eventually, Ranboo came back and beckoned Tommy to follow him.

 When they got to the living room, he frowned. “Where’s Dad?”

 Flock? Where is the flock? Why is it not complete?

 “Prison.” Purpled sighed. “Something about making sure the prisoner didn’t die.”

 “That’s okay though,” Tubbo smiled. “We’re here! We’re enough, right?”

 Tommy’s frown deepened. “I guess.” He went over and flopped on top of whoever was on the couch. He wasn’t sure who, but someone started preening his wings and he let out a happy sigh that morphed into a purr. 

 All of them remained close to the living room for most of the morning, taking turns being near Tommy since his body radiated warmth and the house tended to be a bit colder (which didn’t make a whole lot of sense, since Sam liked warmth, but..). 

 Sam came back a little after lunch. 

 “What took you so long?” Fundy drawled, head hanging off of the couch and feet dangling over the back. “You got a secret girlfriend?”

 Sam had been drinking some water, and nearly spit it out. He was content to stick with choking on it, instead. “No,” He said weakly. “Nope, no girlfriend here. I just had a weird conversation with Dream and had to think about it a bit.”

 Everyone squinted at Sam for a moment, but Tommy interrupted by barreling into him. “Hi, dad.”

 “Hey, Tommy,” Sam smiled. “Your turn, huh?”

 Tommy chirped a bit, burrowing his head into Sam’s chest and letting his wings circle them both.

 “Who’s the clingy one now?” Tubbo mused from a chair. “Hint, it’s not me.”

 ________

 Sam was having an odd day. He hadn’t been lying when he said he’d gone to the prison, but Dream was being weird.

________

 “So, how’d those hybrid hunters end up?” Dream asked nonchalantly. 

 Sam turned. He was just about to leave, but… “You knew they were coming? And you didn’t warn us? I have the emergency contact button for a reason, Dream.”

 Dream chuckled. “I knew you wouldn’t have your device on, since you exploded, and well, I couldn’t be bothered to reach anyone else by now. Haven’t you learned, Sam, that I just don’t care?”

 Sam glared at him. “You’re lucky my boys took care of them. Tubbo and Purpled could’ve been killed, since humans are no use to the hunters.”

 “Humans?” Dream laughed again, before realizing Sam was serious. “Sam, no one on this server is completely human. I made sure of it.”

 “What?” Sam shook his head. “You’re saying they’re hybrids, too?”

 Dream was quiet. “I’ve already helped you enough. I think you’ve gotta give me something in return, if you want more.”

 “Alright. Be like that, then. See you next week.” Sam sighed, leaving the prison. His brain was muddled with thoughts.

 When were Tubbo and Purpled going to show their true colors? What hybrids were they? Was Dream even telling the truth?

 __________

 And, well… He took a detour before he got home, sure, but he hadn’t been lying when he said he didn’t have a girlfriend… but it felt weird keeping a secret, even if he’d been keeping it for a while.

 He had Tommy to think about before tonight… would he be able to leave the house? Tommy seemed pretty attached. 

 The day went by okay after he got home, to be fair. There was one incident where Tommy tried to get on top of the fridge to divebomb everyone since he was too tired to fly up, but Sam got him down. 

 Having a relatively tame Tommy was a nice change, but it was odd. Sam kinda wanted his energised son back, even if he was a little annoying at times. 

 At any rate, he’d made some half put together excuse as to why he needed to leave for the night, and planned on leaving through a hidden back door connected to his room once he was ready. He looked in the mirror and scrunched his face up. He hated wearing suits. He was more a sweatshirt type of guy, or he wore his mask when he was working, but never suits. Why was he doing this again?

 He patted down his- jacket? He wasn’t sure what it was called, but he straightened it (some part of his brain snorted at that), then fiddled with his tie.

 The door burst open before he could stop it, and then it was just Sam, in a fancy suit, staring at Tommy, both looking like deer in headlights.

 “Where you going, big man?” Tommy asked, less clingy than this morning as his human side was taking back more control. 

 Sam winced. He couldn’t lie to Tommy, even if he wanted to. Not directly. “I’ve uh, I’ve got a date.”

 Tommy lit up. “No kidding? Who’s the lucky lady?”

 “I’m gonna refrain from answering that.” Sam chuckled nervously. “Are you going to be alright while I’m gone?”

 “Are you crazy? We gotta tell the others so we can hype you up, and then we’re gonna meet our new mom!” (Sam didn’t know it, but Tommy’s mind was spamming flock)

 Sam’s eyes widened. “No, no, no, Tommy, I don’t think that’s a good idea-”

 It was too late. Tommy had already run down the hall, and Sam barely had time to sit down on his bed before the entire herd of his sons came barreling back, outraged that Sam had kept such a momentous secret from them.

 “Are you nervous?” Tubbo asked, towards the back of the group.

 Sam shrugged, “I mean, yeah, but-”

 Fundy grinned. “It’s gonna go great, dad. You’ve got nothing to worry about, she’s going to love you.”

 Sam cringed, “I, uh, I’m sure she will?”

 “Yeah! That’s the spirit!” Tommy cheered. “On the other hand, can we go meet her? I promise we won’t be weird.”

 “Can you promise that?” Ranboo teased. “But yeah, can we?”

 Sam sighed. “I mean, I guess,”

 “Do we have to put on suits?” Purpled complained, “Cause if we have to, I don’t wanna go.”

 “No,” Sam said, putting his head into his hands. “You don’t have to put on a suit.”

 “Hey hey hey,” Tommy said, sitting next to Sam on his bed, “Now is not the time to be sad. You are going on a date with a woman, and that is Pogchamp. Now is a time to celebrate. Let’s go, you’re going to be late, and you can’t be late if you’re going to absolutely win her over like I know you are.”

 “Thank guys,” Sam said, and he meant it a little. Now he had something to worry about other than his date. “You’re right, let’s go.”

 It was… an interesting walk. His boys were hyping him up, which he appreciated, but he was nervous. He had been hoping to wait a little longer to tell them. Of course they found out on one of his only dates after he’d adopted them all.

 Finally, after a stroll through the woods, they arrived at the place: a lovely little clearing with fairy lights that shone and twinkled as the sun set with a table in the center set in the middle. There was food, and candles, and it was all very romantic, but the boys weren’t focused on that. They were focused on the person who was standing by the table, in a suit, rose in hand.

 Purpled was the first one to speak. “Ponk?” He stepped closer and fell into a hug from the man who was, indeed, Ponk. “Is this really you?”

 “Yeah, Purp. It’s me. I’m sorry you had to go through all that you did alone.” Ponk said, surprisingly softly. “I wanted to see you, but Sam told me to let you heal a bit, first.”

 “Bitch.” Purpled said, but it was clear he was trying not to cry. “I missed you.”

 “I missed you, too. I thought you would’ve come to see me earlier.”

 Purpled shook his head, refusing to leave Ponk’s hug. “How could I? We just found out you guys were a thing today, I was too scared to visit you otherwise.”

 Ponk turned to Sam with an exasperated look. “Sam, I thought you said you were gonna tell them!”

 “Well, I had every intention to,” Sam said defensively, “but everyone kept getting hurt and it never seemed like the right time.”

 “Wait,” Tommy butted in, “How long have you guys been dating? I thought this was like, a first date type thing and that’s why he was so nervous.”

 “Aw, Sam! You were nervous?”

 Sam, in question, flushed a little. “I mean, how could I not be? You’re so amazing and all, I-”

 “How long?” Tommy asked loudly. “You aren’t answering my questions, and they need answering! Now!”

 “Well,” Ponk winced, “Sammy, you answer it. They should hear it from you.”

 “What do you mean we should hear it from Sam?” Tubbo asked. “How long has this been going on?”

 Purpled squinted at Ponk. “And why don’t you want to answer?”

 “A little over a year and a half.” Sam blurted out, and all eyes turned to him.

 “What?” Tommy cried out. “And we didn’t know? You’re our dad, you’re supposed to tell us these things!”

 Sam was at a loss for words. “I didn’t know you guys cared about my love life?” He tried as a weak response.

 “Of course we care,” Fundy argued. “We always care, and that’s why we came here to make sure that whoever you were dating was fit to be our other parent. We just… weren’t expecting Ponk.”

 “Who were you expecting?” Ponk asked, confused. 

 “Well, Tommy thought it was a girl.” Tubbo said, and Tommy tried to deny it.

 “You thought-” Ponk laughed. “You thought Sam was dating a girl?”

 “Sam didn’t say he wasn’t!” Tommy protested.

 It was quiet a moment longer, until Ponk interrupted it, arms still around Purpled. “Wait, Sam, your love life? You love me?”

 All eyes turned to Sam as he blushed furiously and scratched at the back of his head. “Well, I mean, you’re really funny and your smile is really cute, and I really like spending time with you…”

 Tommy glanced from Sam to Ponk, both blushing and looking at the ground bashfully, and groaned. “Oh, my god! We get it, you’re in love! Get a room.”

 The two adults both spluttered, trying to get a response, before Tommy spoke again. “Go ahead, say ‘i love you’ and all that gross mushy stuff. Pretend we’re not even here. I swear, we’re not gonna say anything. Just go for it.”

 “I mean,” Sam started, looking up at Ponk, “if you want to, of course I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, or anything...”

 “I love you.” Ponk blurted out.

 “I love you, too.” Sam responded breathlessly. “A lot. Like, probably too much.”

 Ponk hid his face a little, and held out his hand. “I, um, I got you a rose,” 

 “I saw. You’re adorable.”

 It was quiet, and Ranboo coughed a little. “C’mon, guys, they probably want us to leave. It’s their date, after all.”

 “Do we have to?” Purpled asked, “This is more entertaining than any movie we’ve watched, I wanna keep making them embarrassed.”

 “I agree with Ranboo,” Tommy said, “We should probably go. However, I also agree with Purp, because I want to stay.”

 Ponk shrugged. “I mean, I can woo Sammy here another day if you all wanna just go watch a movie, or something. Sam? You alright with that?”

 Sam had to admit he'd wanted a nice night with just him and Ponk, but part of his mind was worried for Tommy, since he was still going through a thin day. “Sure, I guess we can watch a movie tonight and do something else later.”

 So, they all walked back to Sam’s base, boys in front, politely pretending that they didn’t notice Sam and Ponk holding hands in the back. They didn’t want to notice it. They also pretended to not notice the little sweet whispers that the two exchanged, and the boys were starting to regret their decision to not leave the two alone.

 Despite that, they all watched a movie, huddled in a nest that Tommy had made. He stretched his wings around those that he could, but ultimately was content to just huddle up against Sam and sleep, instead of watching the movie. 

 Sam was curled up next to Ponk, which was a little odd considering the height difference, but they made it work. Sam wasn’t sure where the rest of his boys were in the nest.

 At some point that night, once it was late and it was just him and Ponk awake, he felt Ponk shift. 

 “Where are you going?” Sam asked sleepily, clutching the sweatshirt that he’d let Ponk borrow. “Why are you leaving?”

 “It’s late,” Ponk whispered. “I need to get home.”

 “No,” Sam pouted. “I don’t want you to go home. You should stay here for the night.”

 “I appreciate it, Sammy, but I really-”

 “I almost died a few days ago and you’re not going to do what I want?” Sam murmured, waking up slightly. 

 “Oh, Sam,” Ponk said, sadness weighing his voice down. “Don’t joke about that. You worried me, when you didn’t talk to me for a week, then I found out from Tubbo that the hunters were back. I was so worried that I’d get there too late, and you’d be gone. Hell, before I found out, I thought you were breaking up with me.”

 “I’d never do that. Don’t be sad.” Sam said tiredly, but Ponk wasn’t done.

 “And then, and then I found out this morning that you’d gone against some, some fucking god, and you won, and you’d adopted Purpled, and I found out all the shit that he’d gone through and how you reacted, and I’m scared.”

 “Of what? I’ll protect you, Ponkie.”

 “I’m scared that one day you’ll go up against some big bad villain and you won’t make it out alive, Sammy. You take on so much, and what if I can’t help you?”

 Sam looked up, and saw that Ponk was crying softly. “Oh, Ponk. I’m always going to come back, because I have a reason to. I’ve got you to come back to, I’ve got my boys. I’ll fight with everything I’ve got to make it out alive.”

 “But what if that isn't enough?” Ponk stressed. “I joke all the time, and I mess around, but I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

 “You won’t.” Sam assured him, pulling Ponk back into a hug. “Stay the night?” He asked again.

 “Okay,” Ponk relented, sniffling. “But I’ve got to go home in the morning. Are you going to let me go?”

 Sam smiled sleepily and pulled Ponk closer, burying his head in his shoulder. “No promises. I love you.”

 “I love you too, you big sap.”

 _______

 Tubbo woke up last the next morning. His head hurt, like he had a headache, and his mouth was dry. He wasn’t aware that he’d woken up last, as he was still curled up in the nest and didn’t really want to do… anything. His head hurt too much.

 He let out a little whine, burrowing his head into the blankets as the light hit his face.

 “Tubbo? You up, man?” Who was that? That was Tommy, right?

 “Tommy?” He murmured. “My head hurts.”

 The voice chuckled. “Not Tommy. I’m Ranboo. I dunno, you need an advil, or something?”

 “I don’t know,” Tubbo groaned. “Make it stop.”

 He heard a slight humming. “Maybe I should go get Sam.”

 “No,” Tubbo pouted, curling up even more. “Get Tommy. I want Tommy.”

 Footsteps echoed away from him, and Tubbo moved one of his arms under his head. His fingers brushed against his ear, and-

 “What?” He sat up, poking at the back of his ear, momentarily blocking out the pain of his head. “What?”

 Sam walked into the room, “What d’you mean? Anything wrong? Ranboo said your head hurt, or something.”

 “Sam,” Tubbo started, hands still covering his ears. “Why am I growing fur?”

 A look of sudden surprise was painted across Sam’s face before it settled on a grimace. “Well, Tubbo, you’re a hybrid.”

 Tubbo looked up quickly, wincing at the pounding in his head. “I’m a hybrid? How do you know?”

 “When I visited Dream he mentioned it,” Sam mumbled a bit, before speaking a little louder. “Anyway, it’s probably going to hurt. I’ll send someone to go grab Tommy, since most of us were born with our hybrid features rather than growing them.”

 Tubbo thought Sam spoke more, but he wasn’t listening. His head was still hurting, and the pain was still increasing. He wanted Tommy. He missed Tommy, where was he?

 How had he gotten on the couch? Was he crying? Oh. His head hurt a lot. “Tommy?” He sniffled, too far gone to hate how vulnerable his voice was.

 “I’m here, Tubs. I’m here.”

 “What’s going on?” He managed, trying to turn to his side but yelping when the pain spiked.

 “You’re probably growing something.” Tommy said nonchalantly, putting a hand into Tubbo’s hair. 

 Tommy’s hands put pressure on the side of his head. “Ow,” Tubbo cried, and Tommy rushed an apology. It was quiet for a moment. “What am I growing?”

 “I can’t tell yet.” Tommy hesitated. “Your ears look pretty cool, though. They’ve gotten all long and furry.”

 “My ears are furry?” Tubbo didn’t quite catch Tommy’s reply as he fell asleep despite the pounding in his head.

 _________

 The next time Tubbo woke up, he was alone. He was still on the couch, but daylight streamed through the windows and the house was silent. Where was everyone?

 His head felt much better, but his mouth was still dry, so he pried himself off of the blankets and padded into the kitchen for a glass of water. He turned the faucet on and yawned as the water poured out, reaching up to scratch his head.

 His hand hit something smooth and solid, right above his ear.

 Tubbo turned off the faucet as his eyebrows furrowed, walking over to the bathroom, glass still in his clutches. No one was in the halls, and he frowned as he pushed the bathroom door open. 

 His gaze raised to the mirror, and the glass slipped from his fingers to shatter on the ground. He didn’t register the water that soaked through his socks, but he stared, unblinking, as his eyes filled with tears. He stumbled backwards, yelping as he fell into the tub and sobs racked his body.

 “Tubbo?” Tommy’s voice called from down the hall. “I heard a crash, are you alright?” The voice got louder and Tubbo’s cries did, too. Tommy’s head popped through the door frame. “Tubbo?”

 In the corner of the shower, Tubbo was huddling with his legs pressed against his chest and head ducked down. When he spoke, it came out soft and trembling. “We promised.”

 “What?” Tommy started, but was cut off by Tubbo.

 “We promised that you wouldn’t be the next Wilbur, and I wouldn’t be the next Schlatt.”

 “Yeah?” Tommy said, tilting his head, crouching down in front of Tubbo and holding his hands out, palms up. “And we kept it. We’re fine, okay? We’re safe, and nothing is going to happen. Let’s get clean-”

 “Then why have I grown horns?” Tubbo cried, tears streaming down his face. “I was finally able to move on, and now I’ve got a permanent reminder of him. He promised he wasn’t my father, Tommy, but what if he really did lie about everything?”

 “Oh, Tubbo.” Tommy said softly. “Schlatt’s not your father.”

 “How can you be sure?” Tubbo asked, but he moved into Tommy’s arm for a hug. His chin rested on Tommy’s shoulder.

 “Because,” Tommy reasoned, “Your horns aren’t the same. His curved around his ears, right? Yours stick up a little. And your ears!” Tommy smiled, and lightly flicked one of Tubbo’s ears. “You’ve got some yellow fur growing. I’d bet good money that you’re a moobloom.”

 “You bet good money for stupid reasons, though, Tommy.” Tubbo murmured, falling asleep again as Tommy’s wings wrapped around him.

 Tommy went to reply, but Tubbo had fallen asleep. “You’re lucky that you’re my best friend, bitch.” He grumbled, picking up Tubbo to move him to the couch again. He’d clean up the bathroom too, but Tubbo was more important.

 His best friend was more important.

 Family was more important.

 More important than anything.

[helenarlett-rex]

So the fallout gets worse...

Last week I made a post about how the board at the library I work at ruled that we should immediately drop all covid restrictions in our library, and everything that happened as a result of that. Well... as it turns out there’s more...

Let me start by saying I keep pet mice. Very tame, hand raised mice I buy from a specialty pet store that gets their supply from local breeders. It’s pretty far away from where I live and it’s not easy to get these mice. I have to go on a waiting list to even get them, and they aren’t cheap. But these mice are wonderful. They’ll hang out with me crawling around on my shoulder and inside my shirt. They do tricks. They eat out of my hand. They get excited when I come home and come running up to see me. They are essentially like owning very small dogs and I’m just as attached to them as a normal dog owner would be to their dogs.

Last year right around the start of covid, I owned three of them but they all got sick and died within three days of each other. I had taken them to a vet who specialized in small rodents and he informed me that they had a certain viral infection. There was a name for it but I can’t remember what it is now, mostly because I couldn’t pronounce it in the first place... But I had never heard of it before so I asked the vet what it was exactly. And he explained to me that it’s a strand of coronavirus. Not the same coronavirus that everyone in the human population was getting sick from, but a different strand that is harmless to humans but extremely deadly to rodents and has no treatment. Once a rodent is infected, they are dead within a couple of days.

However... Just because this particular strand doesn’t harm humans, doesn’t mean that humans can’t be infected with it. Humans can pick it up and serve as carriers, and then spread it to any rodents they come in contact with.

Now fast forward a couple of months. After fully sanitizing my home and making sure everything was safe to bring new mice home, I got two new mice to replace the ones who had passed. I named them Tanuki and Kitsune. I’ve had those mice for about a year now and they’ve been doing great. Until yesterday morning when I woke up and found them both showing the signs of the same viral infection that killed my previous mice. The “Mouse Coronavirus” if you will... Within the first hour of noticing they were sick, Tanuki sadly passed away. By that point I knew what I was dealing with and that it was already too late to do anything. Kitsune passed away a few hours later...

Now at this point I found myself wondering how they had even gotten infected with “Mouse Coronavirus” in the first place... Neither of them had left my house in almost a year so there was no way they could have come in contact with it directly... That meant the only way they could have gotten infected was if I had picked it up somewhere and passed it on to them. And it had to be me. The only other person in the house is Violet but she hadn’t handled them or even been around them in a month or more... Those mice were my babies, not hers.

So where would I have come into contact with this virus? I had to start thinking about where I had been and what I had done recently. The virus kills mice within two to three days of infection, so if they died on Wednesday, they must have gotten infected somewhere around Sunday or Monday. And that made the answer pretty simple. I was at work on both Sunday and Monday, and that was the only place I had been. In fact... further simplifying things... work is the only place I’ve been in the last two or three weeks... I haven’t even been to the grocery store!

So the mice only could have gotten infected from me, and the only place I could have picked the virus up at was work. But I’ve been working at the same place the entire year I’ve owned them and they’ve been fine up until now. Did anything change recently? And yeah... what do you know... Something did just change... We removed all of our covid restrictions and there have been a tone of people in the library without masks on.

So, wow... We stopped forcing people to wear masks inside the library and within the week I had already been infected with “Mouse Coronavirus” and brought it home to my babies, killing them...

So thank you, everyone out there who thinks we don’t need to take precautions anymore. Everyone who feels the need to force everyone around them to stop taking precautions as well... Thanks... You killed my beloved pets... You killed them just because you didn’t want to put up with a minor inconvenience... I’m broken right now, but hey... At least you don’t have to wear a mask for fifteen minutes when you go to the library to rent a movie...

Burn in hell.

[babygirl-diaz]

Of First Dates and Old Lovers (SamQuin)

Sam taps Joaquin on the shoulder who turns around and looks pleasantly surprised to see him. "You came!"

Sam raises an eyebrow at him. "Was I not supposed to?" He asks. "We're on a date, right?"

"Shit..." Joaquin bites down on his tongue. It's kinda adorable. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that... I just--"

"You thought I wouldn't turn up?" Sam asks tilting his head to the side. "I'm not that much of an asshole, Torres." He can't help but feel a little hurt.

"No, you're definitely not an asshole." Joaquin looks like he's about to break out in tears. "I feel like I've totally messed this up."

"How about we go from the start?" Sam asks, offering him a smile. "Hey, Joaquin. How's it going?"

"Good." A broad smile appears on Joaquin's face. He leans in and pulls Sam into a hug. "Thank you," he mumbles into Sam's ear.

When they pull apart, Sam sits down next to him at the bar and orders himself a beer and he and Joaquin decide to keep the tab open.

The buzz of alcohol feels good and Sam starts to feel himself loosen up a bit after a couple beers.

They share stories about their missions and after a while start to open up about their personal life.

Joaquin tells him about his mom and his three siblings.

Sam shares stories about Sarah and the kids and Bucky as well since he seems to have made himself part of the family.

"I have to ask... have you and Bucky ever--- ever had a thing?" Joaquin asks

"We did," Sam admits. "It didn't work out."

"Is this a rebound?"

"No!" Sam is quick to assure him. "We've been over for a while now."

"Okay," Joaquin nods. He takes a sip of his beer and suddenly looks really nervous. "Do you--" he starts to say but then takes a pause. "Do you mind if I kiss you?" He asks.

"I'd mind if you didn't," Sam jokes.

Joaquin rests his hand on the back of Sam's head and brings him in for a kiss.

Sam goes with it and kisses him back. It's a slow, gentle kiss with no heat behind it.

They pull apart after a few seconds but stay close. Joaquin brings his hand around to run his thumb along Sam's jaw. "You look really nice tonight," he says in a voice low. "But then again, you look nice all the time." He kisses Sam one more time before asking, "Do you wanna get out of here?"

The implications behind those words aren't lost on Sam. He bites down on his lips and nods. "Okay, yeah, let's get out of here," he replies and suddenly feels his heart thrumming like he was some teenager.

They settle their tab and Joaquin slips his hand into Sam's once they're out of the bar. They keep it tame on the Uber back to Sam's place and just hold hands while talking about random things.

Sam doesn't even get to turn on the light once they're inside his apartment before Joaquin has him pressed up against the wall. The eager young man has his mouth and his hands all over Sam. All the shyness from before is gone, replaced with the type of confidence, Sam hasn't seen in Joaquin before.

Joaquin steps back to take off his shirt and throw it aside in the dark and then he's on Sam again, trying to take his clothes off too. Sam's shirt goes first and then Joaquin is pressing him into the wall again and kissing him desperately like Sam is his lifeline.

Sam wants to ask when was the last time Joaquin got some action but he really shouldn't judge the other guy when he himself hasn't been with anyone since--- well since he and Bucky broke up.

Shit. He should really not think about Bucky when he's getting hot and heavy with another guy.

"God, you're so hot, Sam," Joaquin whispers in his ear. "Been trying to keep my hands off you the whole night."

Sam doesn't answer and captures Joaquin's lips in another kiss and lets his tongue explore the younger man's mouth.

The room suddenly fills with light. "Oh hey, boys, did I interrupt something?"

Sam and Joaquin quickly pull away from each other and look over to find Bucky standing in front of his room, in his boxers and his hair sticking out all over the place.

"Bucky?! What are you doing here?" Sam asks as he picks up his shirt and puts it back on.

Joaquin does the same and Sam notices him looking as embarrassed as Sam felt.

"I live here?" Bucky replies.

"Yeah, but you were supposed to be in New York this weekend."

"Oh," Bucky moves closer to the two of them. "I canceled. Didn't feel up to it. Hey Joaquin, long time no see. How's it going, man?" He asks slapping Joaquin on the back and making him stumble.

"I'm good, man. How are you?" Joaquin answers awkwardly

"I'm good," Bucky replies. "So how was your date? Never thought you two would become a thing." There is something bitter in his voice that Sam tries to ignore.

Joaquin takes Sam's hand into his and smiles at him. "Well, we did. Or at least I hope we do."

Sam squeezes his hand in reassurance and gives him a smile in return.

"But I mean... come on... you two..." Bucky says rudely and trails off

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam frowns at him.

"The age difference alone," Bucky shrugs.

"Don't you and Sam have like a 60-year age difference?"

Sam snorts at Joaquin's comment and watches in satisfaction as Bucky's face twists into a frown.

"Now if you'll excuse us... maybe we should take this to your room?" Joaquin suggests, looking over at Sam.

Sam nods. "My room is the one on the right. I'll be right there." He gives Joaquin a long, deep kiss before letting him go.

When they pull apart, he notices Bucky looking at them with his lips pursed together and his eyes narrowed.

Sam ignores him and goes to the kitchen to get water. He hears footsteps behind him and turns around to find Bucky standing at the entrance. "Are you seriously going out with him, cradle robber?" He smirks.

"Didn't he just point you and I had a 60-year age gap?" Sam throws back

"That's a technicality," Bucky replies. "You two are actually 12 years apart."

Sam rolls his eyes, "Why does the age thing bother you so much?"

"It doesn't," Bucky is quick to reply. "He could break your heart.."

"You broke my heart," Sam sadly points out.

"And I'll regret that every day for the rest of my life," Bucky admits much to Sam's surprise.

"Good. Because I plan to hold it over your head for the rest of your life," Sam teases.

"Sam--" Bucky calls out as Sam walks past him out of the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

Bucky looks like he wants to say something important but then he shakes his head. "Goodnight. Have fun."

"Night, Buck."

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Hearts Club

Seokmin: Chapter 3 (I Wanna Know)

Characters: Seokmin x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, genocide mentions, runaways, mental illness (depression implied), sexual mentions, crying, mentions of death, mentions of violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Your girl is in some serious fucking pain but she managed to get another chapter out because she couldn’t sleep! So low and behold, I give you a decent chapter for DK

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Hearts Club Master List

Chapter 3: I Wanna Know

You were in heat for a few more days. Seokmin stayed with you the whole time and took care of… your every need. Though he looked worn out, he didn’t complain once. He liked that you let him help you. And he was hoping now that your heat was over, you’d let him in a bit more.

Your legs felt like jello, your hair looked like a birds nest, your skin was covered in variously healed bruises. You were a mess. But it was still time to go back to the pack. You made a promise and you always followed through with your promises, even if you were in a horny induced daze when you made it. You were just hoping they wouldn’t know, or at least, wouldn’t make a big deal out of what had happened.

Seokmin helped get you back to your feet and get dressed, putting your arms through your tank top and putting you in your shorts one leg at a time. He had already managed to get himself together as he had woken up earlier than you had. He figured you’d be in worse shape than him after everything… everything you’d been through and he wanted to be sure you were as okay as possible before you started your journey back home.

“There we go, all done!” He chirped after finally buttoning the last button on your jean shorts.

He took a step back to look at you. Aside from the bruises, you physically looked pretty normal now that he had helped you tame your ridiculously tangled hair. But he knew the pack was gonna smell you. You smelled like him from the week of animalistic sex sessions you two had been having due to your heat. It was unavoidable. He knew they’d all know you two slept together the second you walked through the door. He just wasn’t sure how you’d react to their inevitable and unavoidable teasing.

You quickly looked down after you had seen your reflection in one of your buckets of water, “I look like a walking disaster.” You muttered.

“It’s not THAT bad…,” He failed miserably at reassuring you, “But it doesn’t matter anyways, we’re mates. It doesn’t matter if we slept together or not. We would have eventually anyways” Seokmin tried to reason, bringing himself to walk up to you and hold your small hands in his large ones hesitantly.

“They’re all gonna make fun of me.” You pouted at him, looking down at your feet and smiling a bit in embarrassment.

You had never really taken the time to look at him before your whole mating fiasco happened. You had done literally everything in your power to avoid him at all costs so you wouldn’t catch feelings for him. But now that you had spent a good portion of time alone with him, you realized just how much bigger than you Seokmin was. He always seemed so… subservient around the pack that you never really gave his physical appearance much thought when it came to size. He must’ve been almost a foot taller than you, and now that you had seen him shirtless and naked, you also knew just how much muscle he actually had. He was MUCH larger than you had thought. Even his feet looked like they could crush yours with one fast stomp.

He held back a giggle at your cuteness before he spoke up, “They won’t make fun of yoooou. Especially because you could EASILY beat most of them to a bloody pulp with your special wolfie powers and all.”

“Aya! They’re not special ‘wolfie powers.’ They’re just my normal powers. And it’s not my fault you guys are more diluted forms than me.” You chuckled, playfully smacking his toned chest with your hand.

He cocked his head to the side at your statement, “Is that how it works? The longer the line the less of a wolf you are?” He asked curiously while bringing the back of your hand up to his lips and giving it a chaste kiss.

You almost laughed out loud at his question before you remembered that he didn’t grow up with other werewolves. He was a bitten wolf, not genetically a wolf. You remembered that Seungcheol had told you that no one in his family had ever been a wolf before him. He probably had no clue how it all worked, especially since his pack wasn’t always the best help when it came to educating each other on important matters. You felt a little guilty for thinking he was just being sort of dumb. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know anything about it. So you held back your little outburst and nodded instead.

“Yeah basically. I mean, most genetic lines now can still obviously transform, but they’re still not…” You tapped your chin with your index finger for a moment while thinking of the correct words to explain what you meant, “As much of a wolf as me.” You decided.

Your mate was watching you intensely, listening to every word you said closely, as if he was learning the most important information he’d ever need to know,“I’m honestly probably more wolf than I am human. But most modern day wolves are more human than wolf, that’s why it’s relatively easy for them to assimilate into human societies and blend in.” You informed him, the both of you gathering the rest of your things and making your way out the cave to the path leading back to the forest.

“But hiding our eyes isn’t always easy!” He interjected with enthusiasm you found oddly cute, “If we get too emotional, the potions disintegrate and our real eye color shows. So it’s not really SUPER simple with us.” Seokmin responded, grabbing your hand closest to him and interlocking your fingers.

For a moment, you wanted to pull away from him and push him for initiating the sudden contact. But you also promised him that you’d give him a chance and that you’d try to be the best mate to him that you could be. Plus, the warmth of his hand felt… kind of nice on yours. So you kept your hands together, giving his fingers an involuntary squeeze that made Seokmin’s face light up.

“I suppose you’re right. But really, as long as a wolf can keep their shit together, they can seem very human. When my people were still around, we were very obviously NOT human. We couldn’t be even if we had tried.” You casually let out, skipping over a large rock in your way.

“What were your people like?” He questioned, genuinely wanting to know what your life was like before you lost everything. His pack had tried to ask you before, but you’d always clam up and make up some excuse to leave the conversations. He was hoping with it just being the two of you, you might actually be okay with sharing some more personal information with him.

You waited a moment before you spoke up. What WERE your people like? It had been so long that you hardly even remembered anythings about them. You usually tried to push away all the thoughts of them because remembering all you lost hurt too much. But when he asked you the question, it was like everything came rushing back to you all at once.

Your family, your tribe, your traditions. You remembered how the tribal elders used to let you sit in on council meetings because your father insisted you needed to know everything there was to know about running the tribe. It made you feel so important when he did that, like you were his pride and joy. You thought about all the times you had sat next to your mom as she cooked up potions and remedies in her old stone cauldron for the healer to use on the sick and injured. She always cared so much about everything and everyone around her, you always loved to help her help people. And you could all but see your 11 big goofball brothers running up to you holding their latest hunting prizes with the most giant toothy grins they could muster. Those dumbasses, they always made the most of life. You missed them so fucking much.

Everything started swirling around your head and it made a huge smile appear on your face with watery eyes at the thought of your early life. Seokmin took notice and felt a bit proud of himself that he had made you that happy, you had never beamed a smile that big before in front of him or his pack.

“My people… they were… they were just-” You paused, “They were just the most amazing family a person could ever ask for.” You started, wiping away a sudden tear that had fallen down the side of your face from the memory of them, hopefully before your mate could notice. Of course, he still saw, but he said nothing because he knew it would upset you.

“They were always just sooooo happy. I remember every night was basically like a huge party. We’d all dance and sing around the campfire, there’d be elders telling stories and offering the young words of wisdom while the parents would scold us for interrupting anytime anything got cool or surprising.” You sadly laughed, “We were all just… one big happy family. Even if I wasn’t actually related to all of them. I can’t really explain the connection I felt to them… it was just as strong as the one I had to my biological family.” You sighed, finally reaching the edge of the forest and finding the proper trail for the both of you to set towards home.

He could hear the pain in your voice as you spoke of your past life. You must’ve really missed them. But there were so many questions he still had. What about your actual family? Did you have brothers or sisters? What kind of life did you have? How did you sleep or eat? Where did you come from? But he knew he shouldn’t ask so many at once, he didn’t want to overwhelm you or hound you with his thoughts all at once. So instead, he asked just one question he knew he should probably know the answer to: “What- What happened to them?”

His words made you halt your movements for a second. Remembering that day wasn’t something you liked to do. In fact, you went to great lengths to avoid the memory. It haunted everything you did. Every minute of everyday was plagued with the thought of their demise. You had nightmares every night. You saw their hallowed faces in every person you met. You smelt ash and burnt flesh more than you smelt anything else. Their screams were still stuck to your mind like gum on the bottom of a shoe. It tore you apart to think of it. But still, you knew he deserved to know. You’d want to know if you were him.

“They were… they were massacred.” You sadly shrugged, biting your lip to keep yourself from letting sobs out. He stroked your hand in his in an effort to soothe your sad soul. You took comfort in his small affectionate touch, it grounded you and pulled your tortured mind back down to the conversation you were having.

You took in a deep breath, “It was just any other day, at least, to me it was,” you gulped before you continued, “I was helping my mom with some new herbal remedies for some of our sick warriors when suddenly we heard this loud BANG. My mom wasn’t a wolf, in fact, back then no female was. Well, no female but me that is, but that’s beside the point,” you shook your head and tried to get yourself back on the topic at hand.

“I could feel the vibration under my feet. It was a cannon, but we didn’t know that then. They weren’t really used in our part of the world, they’d freeze in the cold weather and couldn’t always light at the altitude that my village was set on. But somehow, the Cossacks found a way to make them work… they always found a way…” you stated flatly, looking up to the sky out of respect for your fallen family.

“They were upset that my pack had killed some of their soldiers that had hurt a group of women in a neighboring tribe. So they punished us the only way they knew how: by brutally murdering everyone and setting everything they could on fire. Fire’s one of the few ways Icyan wolves can actually be killed. They killed almost everybody. As far as I know, Cyrus and me were the only ones who got out.” You swallowed back the lump stuck in your throat as you and Seokmin continued onward to your destination.

Now this question really worried him, he wasn’t sure if he even wanted answers to it. But he, again, wanted to know more about you and how you got to him. He’d figure it out eventually, might as well try to get it out of you today while he had you going already.

“Can you- can you tell me a bit about him…?” He almost whispered, afraid to say it any louder as he didn’t want to upset you.

“W-What?” You asked for clarification.

“I- I Wanna Know more about… him… Can you tell me about him?” Seokmin stuttered out. He was still unsure if he should’ve said it to begin with, but he couldn’t help it. He had to know more about the man who had you crying constantly over him.

You turned your head to look at him, “About who? Cyrus?” A bit of fear crossed your face as you attempted to confirm what he asked.

“Y-Yeah. He was your mate. And Jun kind of explained what you told him had happened to him the other day, but I don’t know much about him. Like how you two got out. Or why he died…” He looked you in the eyes and say that tears and immense sadness had began to pool in them, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! I just figured… that it would be better to get it out in the open now…” Seokmin bit his lip as he waited for your reaction/response.

“Cyrus was… Cyrus. He is- was… my best friend.” You sighed defeatedly out loud before you continued, “He always took care of me. He imprinted on me right after I was born, so he was always there for me.” You started, still trying to find the right words to emphasize what he meant to you. But it was hard, you weren’t very touchy feely like Seokmin was. Feelings were all new to you, so you weren’t sure how to share them aloud.

You didn’t want to upset Seokmin by speaking too fondly about your past mate, but you also couldn’t help the pang in your heart you felt Everytime you heard Cyrus’s name. Part of you wanted to never speak of him again, another part of you wanted to never shut up about him. Your mind was full of conflict but your heart was full of sorrow. How could you possibly ever forget Cyrus enough to have a new mate? How could you ever emphasize how important he was to you when Seokmin, your current lover, was holding your hand? How were you supposed to pick and choose such things when your heart was pleading for a break?

“Wait- he imprinted on you right when you were born? I didn’t know that was possible…” he lost steam towards the end of his sentence and started to mumble while rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Oh no! It wasn’t like that!” You stopped him before he could get any further, “See, Icyan wolves start to shift really soon after birth, like only a month or two after. So it basically means that we’re able to phase our entire life. Cyrus was only five years older than me. He acted like an older brother to me until I hit 16 ish. But that’s when it all went wrong…” You held back a whimper that was threatening to spill past your lips.

“But the day everyone was killed, my dad and the other wolves came to defend out den. I was hiding in the hut while my mom was trying to do a protection spell. But they had killed most of our warriors already when they tried to save their families. We’re very protective of the ones we love” you sniffled slightly, still trying to hold your emotions back but obviously failing miserably.

“Cyrus came to find me after his family was killed. It was his instinct to protect me first, even though he loved his parents, they had each other still. And I was his mate, that’s how we work, mates and children before anyone else. He came into our home and tried to comfort me. We all thought we were gonna die. They had already killed my brothers by the river bank, it broke my parents. They saw red. But they knew I was still alive. So, before the Russians stormed our hut, my dad told Cyrus to take me and run as far as possible for as long as possible, so he did. After that, we were alone, but we had each other. It was like that for a few years. But then… I turned 16 and everything went to hell.” Your lip trembled and quivered with guilt.

Your current mate whined at your sadness, he wanted to help you, but he knew there was nothing he could say or do to make you feel better. So he just kept rubbing the back of your petite hand and giving you his full undivided attention. You had heard his whine, but you knew it was just because you were upset, so you gave him a small depressed smile before you kept speaking.

“Well you know that he- well that he’s obviously dead. Otherwise we couldn’t have imprinted on each other. But I’m sure you want to know… why he died” you mustered up all the courage you could before finally explaining it all to him, “He saved me. I fucked up. I was spotted by some towns people and he took the fall so they wouldn’t take me instead. Our wolf forms were similar. All Icyan wolves are white, we can just have different patterns to us. The villager that spotted me didn’t see the black spot on my head, he just saw a huge white wolf. They followed me back to our den and they were met with him. He refused to let me go. He was a telepath and he was an alpha. He ordered me to hide and he told me he loved me before he gave himself up to the angry mob.” You stopped walking and let the tears brimming your eyes freely fall.

Seokmin stood in front of you playing with your hair sweetly, trying to give you something to ground yourself and distract you from your heartache. It killed him to see you that way.

“I couldn’t- I couldn’t refuse his order. He was- he was my alpha. So I had to stay and watch them take him back to their town. I left after that to try and find him, he never told me that I couldn’t. But by the time I got there- they- they-” you sobbed out while bringing your shakey hands to your face, “They had already started torturing him. There had been reports of two huge wolves in the area and they thought he would lead them to me if they hurt him enough. But he never did.” Seokmin pulled you into his chest as you cried, barely able to breathe as you convulsed into loud whimpers and wails.

“I- I felt everything. Every cut they made, every punch, every hit. Because I’m of my shaman bloodline, I felt everything he felt, I- I’m an empath. He figured out I was in the crowd and just kept telling me that he loved me telepathically. That it wasn’t my fault. But- But how could it not be- be my fault?” You stuttered as you gripped onto Seokmin’s shirt for dear life, “I got him killed!” You all but screamed, crying into your mate’s chest so hard he was worried you’d pass out.

Seokmin just let you cry. He couldn’t imagine the guilt and pain you must have been feeling. He just held you and shushed you and told you that everything would be okay. But how could you be okay? You lost everyone in the most awful ways possible. No wonder you didn’t want him around before. If he were you, he wouldn’t either. He wouldn’t have wanted to risk losing MORE people.

He knew you thought it was your fault, but it wasn’t. If the roles were reversed, he knew you would’ve done the same thing as Cyrus. Just like he always knew that if push came to shove, he’d do the same exact thing your past mate had done to save you. You were his whole world, he’d never let anything or anybody hurt you if he could help it. He’d defend you with his very last breath if it meant you got even a second longer to live.

-

After a while, your breathing evened out and your sobs became just tears. Seokmin pulled you back up from his torso to look you in the glistening eyes. He quickly wiped away any water that had streamed down your face in the process. He really wanted to just kiss all your tears away, but now wasn’t the time for that.

“I’m so sorry (Y/N). I wish I could take away your pain. But I can’t. The best I can do is promise you that I’ll always be here for you.” He assured you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ears.

“Even if I start crying over my dead mate?” You tried to sound sarcastic, but you honestly felt too weak to. It probably came out as more of a whine to him.

“Even if you start crying over him. Or if you miss him. Or even if you just want to talk about him. Or any of them. It’s okay. I understand and I’m here for you, no matter what.” He pecked your nose softly and gave you the most loving eyes you had ever seen.

You couldn’t help but pull him into a sweet, thankful kiss, attempting to show him how grateful you were for him with your actions rather than your words that always seemed to fail you. Once you pulled back, you realized just how tired you were. Seokmin seemed to pick up on it to because, suddenly, you were in his arms being carried through the woods bridal style. You gave him a look of uncertainty, he just nodded at you and gave you a loving smile, signaling that he would be okay to walk back the rest of the way to the house with you in his arms.

You wanted to protest it all for his sake, but your eyelids felt too heavy. So instead, you just snuggled your now swollen face into his chest and let the darkness take over, feeling safe in his arms and knowing he would never let anything bad happen to you. For the first time in a long time, you felt like maybe everything would be okay.

(Updated 9/17)

[riverswater]

🌊 Love Moves Like The Sea, by flamboyo_xx / @chrysopon (Harry/Louis, 33k)

“Of course I want to stay with you, I missed you, you know? We haven't spent so much time apart since…” Harry’s smile dims a bit. “Well, we've never done it.”

There's a hint of a question there, a why. Why did you stop reaching out, why did we stop talking for months?

Louis doesn’t answer. He can’t say, ‘I was hoping that by ignoring you for months I would have fallen out of love with you, and it didn’t even happen’ on their first day of vacation, can he?

*

Spending two weeks in his uncle's old house by Lee Bay beach is not Louis' ideal holiday, but sadly is the only one he can afford this summer. Away from everyday reality, maybe it's time for two friends to finally explore what they haven't said (but felt) for years.

🌊 Ever Since I Tried Your Way, by flowercrownfemme / @lesbianiconharrystyles (Harry/Louis, 25k)

Harry had been kissed before, but never like this.

He’d shared sweet, curious kisses behind bleachers and in soda shop booths, one or two more daring ones in cars parked on dark suburban streets, but the girls he’d kissed had never filled him with the desperation that erupted from Louis’ touch. He parted his lips and pulled him closer, as though he could breathe Louis straight into his lungs, as if he could swallow him. He wanted to consume Louis the way he consumed the body and blood of Christ. He wanted to place Louis on his tongue and feel him dissolve into a frothy mess of starch and saliva. He wanted to gulp him down until his teeth were stained purple and he was drunk on him. He wanted him in some violent holy way that made his hands shake where they were twisted in Louis’ shirt.

In 1949 Harry left his bride at the altar, running away from the only life he'd known. When a kindhearted farmer offers him a ride in his truck and a place to sleep the two find themselves inexplicably drawn together. Isolated on Louis' farm with nobody but a field of dairy cows to intrude, the men are finally able to explore the parts of themselves they've spent their lives hiding away.

🌊 He's Always On The Scene (His Engine's Bright and Clean), by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketships (Liam/Louis, 4k)

Louis sometimes has terribly disturbing dreams about Liam being naked and doing things to him. It's best for all concerned if nobody ever, ever knows about them.

Or: it's fancy dress party night on tour, and Liam's dressed up as a fireman. Louis has some feelings he needs to keep hidden.

🌊 with the hope that you would tame me (Liam/Louis, 14k)

Once, on a dull night off, Liam tries asking Google on a whim. He stares at the blinking cursor in the search bar for a while, trying to figure out how to phrase it, because something tells him "why does my mate like it when I hit him" won't bring up a lot of helpful results.

🌊 oh we're in love aren't we, by delsicle / @eeveelou (Harry/Louis, 20k)

Louis is trying to get through his second year of university while dealing with his three stupidly loud and stupidly in love roommates, a series of boring classes, and his job working the graveyard shift at his campus’s favorite drunk food shop. Harry is new to town and looking for somewhere to live when he finds a long-abandoned apartment that brings him right to Louis’s doorstep.

Or, a soft 19/19 university AU in which Harry is getting a fresh start, Louis isn’t subtle, no one does their homework and 3 AM is an excellent time to fall in love.

🌊 with no way out and a long way down, by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed (Harry/Louis, 31k)

Prince Harry is ten when he receives his soulmark.

🌊 You Kill My Mind, by 28sunflowers / @vintageumbroshirt (Harry/Louis, 3k)

Louis spends one night with Harry and accidentally makes a deal with a demon. Now, he can’t seem to be able to control the awful thoughts forming in his mind. His best shot in solving that problem is to go after Harry and get a new arrangement.

Things don’t happen exactly how he expects them to. But then again, since when are demons predictable?

🌊 About the sea, by Foolishly_Fallen (Zayn/Louis, 25k)

Louis loves and lives for the sea and doesn't need any other person in his life. Zayn writes about everything and doesn't know what he's doing. And then they meet and everything fits into place.

An AU of sorts.

*.:｡✿*ﾟ Remember to leave kudos and comments, so the authors will know you appreciated their work! *.:｡✿*ﾟ

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