#sam benefits from hypocrisy

[scripted-downfall]

Equivalency of Abandonment

I've made two previous posts about the way Sam and Dean get put in similar situations and are treated differently by fandom --- this was back when I was still titling every post, so they're accessible at these links: Actions of the Greater Greater Good and Unrighteous Righteousness --- but I have a third post in the series, addressing the similarities and differences of the events after "Swan Song" (post-s5 hiatus) and the events after "Survival of the Fittest" (post-s7 hiatus).

Ostensibly, the two situations are pretty similar. Boil it down to brass tacks and you've got the following summary: Brother 1 disappears through a portal of some kind and may never come back; Brother 2 retires from hunting with a love interest and settles down. And people argue "oh, Dean had no right to be angry about Sam not looking for him and instead settling down while he was in Purgatory" because of the events of "Swan Song," or say that Sam should have been angry when he came back --- or would have been angry, had he had his soul --- from the Cage. And just... no?

First of all, the circumstances weren't comparable. Sam knew he was making his sacrifice ahead of time. Dean only left hunting because Sam made him swear to. He wasn't happy about it --- Chuck's voiceover in "Swan Song" outright states that he feels like dying, actually --- but he forces himself to, and has no excuse to not (his only other family --- Bobby and Cas --- is fine and doesn't need his help). And that's why Cas has to actively not go talk to him about things, because he knows that Dean's just waiting for an excuse to not have that normal life. Summary: he's not leaving behind any responsibilities, and he's not exactly happy about the whole thing.

On the opposite end of things, Sam leaves hunting after Dean mysteriously disappears, without warning or last wishes. Sam abandons Kevin in the process --- outright forsaking the kid, despite the fact that they'd sworn to protect him (and also kinda been the ones to get him involved in the first place, iirc) --- and anyone else who might have reached out to them for help by tossing away his hunting connections. And we don't see a single sign of him regretting leaving Dean behind, either, that I can recall. There's a little bit where he's talking about regretting Dean's "death" or something similar, but that's about the initial disappearance, not about the fact that Sam hasn't even tried to find out what happened. Summary: he leaves behind many responsibilities and doesn't seem to care.

And, also, Dean didn't just let things lie. He expects Sam to have looked for him when he comes back because he did exactly that when Sam disappeared. He didn't actually completely retire from hunting --- I think they show him having sigils under the welcome mat, but, regardless, there was definitely holy water and a shotgun under his bed --- and he was still watching out for threats. And he didn't stop looking for Sam, either? He outright says: "I showed up on their doorstep half out of my head with grief. God knows why they even let me in. I drank too much. I had nightmares. I looked everywhere. I collected hundreds of books, trying to find anything to bust you out." And that's, for reference, from the very first episode of season 6, when he finds out that Sam's back.

This is yet another instance of the brothers having, at best, similar factual situations and similar reactions --- or, at worst, similar factual situations wherein Sam reacts worse than Dean --- and different assessments on behalf of the fandom. It greatly aggravates me that they're treated comparably.

(This post is dedicated to season 11 anon for the inspiration :) I really appreciate the interaction!)

[samheughanswife]

🎥 📸 💯 📍 🇬🇧

Answering the DM’s who have told me I OWE this dash the photos that were sent to me of the protagonists and child just make me 🤣

Taking a trip down memory lane and I recall that I gifted this space photos. I was subsequently pilloried - even though I owned my actions.

I’ve been off this space for awhile now. Why? Because I have confirmation and I’m satisfied.

This dash is filled with hypocrisy and entitlement. Gimme gimme. But then fuck you when it doesn’t fit with your agenda/narrative/delusions.

Let’s just look at the collective reaction to Sam’s appearance on WWHL. The pearl clutching and horror at the discussion and answers. Sam asked about oral sex and his answers and supposed discomfort. Jesus, such provincialism and hypocrisy.

Need I remind you all about the salacious glee of the gifs from S1 especially. The references to full English breakfast - Jamie giving Claire oral sex. Claire giving Jamie oral sex. The pornification of the sex scenes. The outrage when in following seasons the sex scenes were no longer as graphic and intense. The endless discussion on that tent scene and whether Sam/Jamie had a hard on 🙄

Apparently it’s ok to be sexually explicit here. It’s ok to sexualise Sam, but god forbid someone else does. The infantilism of Sam by most is again 🙄 Sam is grown man who knows exactly what he is doing and why. He can sit beside his female co-star and be sexually risqué. He had the brief, he knew the audience he was playing too. Sam had the right to be as dirty and smutty as other male guests on WWHL.

I have said this to many over the years, the attempt to Americanize Sam - fit with American culture/politics would ultimately slap you all in the face. In the beginning he worked hard to create the impression that he belonged to the North American book purists. Then the large Sam only’s in their various factions. The shippers, the neutrals. And of course the king of men for the horny grannies , JAMMF/ Sam one in the same unless he moved off the fantasy script. And then he just said fuck it, ENOUGH. Which is exactly what happened with Andy Cohen. No one forced him to do that show. Not the nefarious HW overlords. Not TPTB. He has agency. It’s S7/S8. Both Sam and Caitriona are looking at the END and they do not care.

I literally cringed reading the comments and the endless brow beating.

Eish 🥱

TL;DR.

There are at a minimum at least a 100 women who know that I have the goods, having been in groups that benefited from both my anons and information shared that came from serendipity and luck.

Loose lips sink ships - “The practice or characteristic of being overly talkative, especially with respect to inadvertently revealing information which is private or confidential”

Been there done that!

I’ve shared with a couple of friends. I thank you for your confidentiality 💙

Sláinte

[shallowseeker]

At first, Cas is sympathetic to Rowena.

He thinks WOW no wonder she's like THIS:

///

Then!

He actually seems to change his mind. He seems in near disbelief that Rowena doesn't love Crowley.

///

Cas has sympathy for Crowley's plight now:

Cas's brain begins to say: Maybe I had it backwards. Maybe Rowena is why HE is like THIS

///

And later with Rowena...

In the script, Cas invokes the LOVE OF A CHILD. SPECIFICALLY.

He gives her a sympathetic smile, because in this moment, he feels wiser than she. He's BEEN the ambitious company man, the military-minded man, COMPLETELY sundered from his own emotions.

He sees her nihilism with a level of understanding that Rowena probably couldn't even comprehend.

He tries to tell AU Michael something similar in, funnily enough, an episode titled Nihilism:

///

And yet!

In the next moment, Cas helps facilitate the sacrifice of "Rowena's child."

AUGH!

From Cas's POV, he's allowing the sacrifice of this man to prevent the losses of boys like the Styne kid, and to prevent Dean from murdering the world, and... it's a delicious bit of hypocrisy. This is Cas's old pattern of the greater good, the angelic soldier doing what he thinks is best in this moment. (Even if internally, like he told Sam, everything in him is screaming, "This is a mistake, Sam!")

And Rowena? Rowena wants her own freedom (from Sam's boot).

And Crowley? Crowley is enticed by revenge. As soon as Cas reveals that Rowena has to kill something she loves (and it's been shown by this point that Crowley already knows about Oskar), he says "I'm in."

And so. Crowley becomes his worst self again, killing innocents and going after Seth the way Lucifer went after humans:

Cas didn't know about "Seth," exactly... even if he knew of Oskar.

Crowley has been sitting on Oskar, waiting for just the right time to inflict on Rowena maximum pain and revenge. And he's so excited to watch her crumble.

He's a little bit like Lucifer at the end of season 13, so lacking in love that he delights in making people who love each other KILL each other.

Rejected by Rowena, Crowley goads her to kill the son she loves. Just like Lucifer, rejected by Jack, goads Jack to kill the father he loves:

///

Like Cas's war on Heaven/Raphael in season 6, and like Amara's destructive rampage against Chuck in season 11, most of Crowley's actions in season 10 have more to do with his family than Dean.

It's not as simple as, "I did it, all of it for you," or "all that I've done for you the past six months."

It digs even deeper. Cas becomes God-like to inflict punishment and a firm hand on Heaven, and Crowley becomes Luciferian to exact his revenge on Rowena.

///

Anyway, the point is! Cas starts to understand that maybe Crowley is what he is because of his tragic circumstances, and maybe he doesn't blame Crowley anymore.

You know, like how Rose was like SHE was because of her parental wound:

The thing is, that Rose and Crystal are like Dean and Crowley. Dean's unstable home life drove him to desperation, and Crowley led him straight to his own doom, straight to Cain.

And yeah, I've seen Dean compared to Rose before. But also... Crowley is also like Rose... and Crystal.

What Rowena did to Crowley led him into a workhouse. He died drunk in an alleyway, preyed upon by a demon.

///

And Sam feels like maybe he owes Dean, that it's his responsibility to help Dean because he benefited so much from Dean's sacrifices. Sam feels like he pushed Dean to the brink, just like this brother feels like he pushed his sister to the brink:

"So you didn't bother to tell the cops that, even when your sister turned up dead?"

"I was sort of the one who brought them out there in the first place."

///

There's so much complicated family stuff there!

(Not super coherent, but I had a lot of thoughts, okay?)

I think it definitely has implications for Chuck, too. This theme unites Crowley, Lucifer, and Chuck in a delicious, delicious way:

When Dean doesn't do what Chuck wants him to do, his manner of speaking mirrors how Crowley speaks to the rebellious Demon Dean, saying to Sam: invoking barbs like "crazy" and "stupid:"

While characters like Dean, Mary, and Cas occasionally go berserker and hurt the very things they were trying to protect, it is rarely out of spite.

Godstiel hurt Sam but started the season trying to protect Sam (rescuing him from the cage)!

Demon Dean turns on Sam, when Sam is the thing he's tried all his life to protect.

Mary didn't want to become the Natural Born Killer version herself, NBK!Mary... When she went to the Men of Letters, she wanted to put a stop to evil once and for all, protecting her children and giving them a free future.

Jack isn't like this either. When he learns he "isn't family," that he "isn't loved," he doesn't behave like Lucifer. He's more like Dean, throwing himself into the cause.

ANYWAY. I just think it's interesting.

[spurgie-cousin]

Two thoughts on this screenshot of a screenshot from Sam’s graduation:

1. Big time “modesty rules for thee but not for me” from Jill here unless her definition of modesty is “everything is covered AND I’m wearing a modesty shirt underneath so it doesn’t matter how tight it is!” 2. This is 100% a preview of what we’re going to see from her for Tim and Heidi’s wedding. The wedding outfit is either going to be even more over the top or she’s going to wear this exact outfit again

(submission)

——————————–

The hypocrisy drives me a little crazy sometimes, esp since Jill takes every other verse of the KJV Bible (the only Bible she thinks is legit) at complete face value, no nuance or gray area. But anything pertaining to modesty suddenly gets the benefit of individual interpretation 🙄.

Like how does she reconcile this verse

 With this disco ball of an outfit:

Like the only way around it is to just decide it doesn’t apply to you. Not to mention like you said, every other fundamentalist includes form fitting/tight clothes on women in their definition on immodesty. She is just such self righteous hypocrite, it’s maddening.

[angelsdean]

People are like "Dean is horrible with Jack during the widower arc, he's acting like John", but if Jack had caused the death of Sam's or John's love interest, they wouldn't have rested before finding an efficient way to kill him, while Dean tries (and, in the end, fails) to distance himself from "it" and says they are going to kill him IF he turns bad.

real real real. there's always a hypocrisy and double standards when it comes to judging dean. people forget that crucially !!!!! dean never actually kills jack !!!! he has a hard time accepting and reconciling with jack's existence, esp while he's drowning in his grief over losing cas. and then there are outside circumstances which exacerbate feelings of fear and hopelessness and (once again) grief when jack is soulless and when he accidentally kills mary and when chuck is very literally playing them and trying to guide dean's had to kill jack, something chuck specifically wants because jack is now a threat to him! but dean, despite anger and fear and instincts ingrained in him by john to shoot first ask questions later and always kill the monster, fights those instincts and emotions (and also fights chuck's influence) and he does Not kill jack !!

also @ people in general who criticize how dean acted in widower's arc like.....do you not know grief and pain can make you irrational?? do you not have empathy for people who are suffering? do you revoke that empathy when they are not suffering the Right Way? when they are "problematic" in their suffering? do you not give people the benefit of the doubt? second chances? if it were you, suffering imperfectly, irrationally, would you not wish for others to be compassionate? to understand that you are not in your right mind and maybe don't take everything you say during that time to heart? don't you understand that someone can say and do things they don't mean when they are hurting and then feel regret and remorse afterwards when they have had time to recover? do you not see how widower's arc is working as a narrative parallel to john losing mary. dean's supposed to echo john in these moments !! just like sam echoed john when he lost jess and how sam was hellbent on revenge, was scoffing at dean in s1 for stopping to work cases and help people bc sam so desperately wanted to find john so they could find yellow eyes and avenge jess's death. similarly, dean in widower's arc is meant to parallel not john's lust for revenge in this case, but his deep despair and grief which filtered into anger + neglect of his children. we're supposed to feel a bit horrified and upset watching dean struggle, watching him fall back on the behaviors internalized in his youth from watching john's suffering. we're supposed to feel like we're watching a ghost, an echo, a shadow acting through dean. but dean fights it, he never becomes john, he never kills his kid or abandons him. even when jack is soulless and dangerous and could be considered having "turned bad" he still doesn't kill him. he can't.

[mediamonarchy]

https://mediamonarchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/20240329_MorningMonarchy.mp3 Download MP3 Gay painters, shut up n sing and say it ain’t Sho’ + this day in history w/’Race To Witch Mountain’ and our song of the day by Dominic Frisby on your #MorningMonarchy for March 29, 2024. Notes/Links: FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried sentenced to 25 years for crypto fraud, to pay $11 billion in forfeiture https://www.cnbc.com/2024/03/28/live-updates-ftx-founder-sam-bankman-fried-sentencing.html Video: FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried sentenced to 25 years in prison for massive crypto fraud (Audio) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovHzR9ENBD8 Oppenheimer director Christopher Nolan to be knighted https://news.sky.com/story/christopher-nolan-oppenheimer-director-to-be-knighted-13103467 Bill Maher Fires CAA After Oscar Party Snub; Sources say the ‘Real Time’ host was furious after he wasn’t invited to Bryan Lourd’s Academy Awards bash. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/bill-maher-fires-caa-oscar-party-snub-1235853885/ Video: Jon Stewart was found to have inflated his home by 829%, the New York Post reports. In Jon Stewart fashion, lets play a clip that highlights the hypocrisy of this fact (Audio) https://vxtwitter.com/EricAbbenante/status/1773159821757342108 Jon Stewart benefited by 829% ‘overvalue’ of his NYC home even as he labels Trump’s civil case ‘not victimless’ https://nypost.com/2024/03/27/real-estate/jon-stewart-found-to-have-overvalued-his-nyc-home-by-829/ “You’re right, Jon is by far the bigger violator. Do you know who Jon Stewart’s brother is, Lawrence Leibowitz?” https://vxtwitter.com/EricAbbenante/status/1773160580863455422 Lawrence Leibowitz https://www.marketswiki.com/wiki/Lawrence_Leibowitz Dan Schneider Breaks Silence After Watching ‘Quiet on Set’ Doc: “It Hurts Really Bad” (Exclusive) https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/dan-schneider-quiet-on-set-video-interview-1235855562/ Dan Schneider https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Schneider Angela Chao’s death was not connected to Baltimore bridge crash https://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local/article/who-owned-the-ship-that-crashed-in-baltimore-19371904.php The captain of the container ship that rammed a bridge in Baltimore, blocking the port, is a citizen of Ukraine https://en.topwar.ru/239162-kapitanom-protaranivshego-most-v-baltimore-kontejnerovoza-perekryvshego-port-javljaetsja-grazhdanin-ukrainy.html Image: That ship is getting closer… https://mediamonarchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/FScottKey_Baltimore_leave_world_behind_ship.png Leave The World Behind: Baltimore Ship Crash Draws Comparisons To Obama-Produced Film ‘Leave The World Behind’ https://www.timesnownews.com/world/us/us-buzz/baltimore-ship-crash-draws-comparisons-to-leave-the-world-behind-obama-film-article-108800229 The container ship “DALI” hit the Francis Scott Key bridge outside Port Baltimore early this morning, destroying it completely. Salvador DALI had a painting called “The Broken Bridge and the Dream.” https://vxtwitter.com/SecretSunBlog/status/1772597021528015352 Good Lord, the high octane symbolism is swarming all over this Baltimore thing like you wouldn’t believe. Ancient soothsayers would be rendered catatonic by it all. https://vxtwitter.com/SecretSunBlog/status/1773351729733542072 Police post photos of suspects with Lego heads to comply with new law https://nypost.com/2024/03/20/us-news/police-post-photos-of-suspects-with-lego-heads-to-comply-with-new-law/ Lego head mugshots add to California’s debate on policing and privacy https://www.wokv.com/news/weird-news/lego-head-mugshots/TO3CT6LGD3TXBYS2BF2XEFMJVY/ Video: Why this SoCal police department uses LEGO heads to block suspects’ faces in social media posts (Audio) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTJLzD6-QJg Microsoft cautions developers to avoid curvy female characters https://archive.ph/ui0Q4 Microsoft wants to ban curvy females from video games https://archive.ph/5PSTM Betty Friedan Fears C.I.A. Movement Role (Jun. 23, 1975) http...

[denise-alwaysuselove]

Where is the Caitriona Balfe I loved and admired?

When I saw the following quote last night, I had a mixed reaction: 

        “Sometimes you need to stop seeing good in people and                        start seeing what they show you.”  --  Motivational Life.

My very nature is to see the good in people and the blessing in every situation. What caught my attention was, “...start seeing what they show you.” 

For over six years I’ve supported both Sam and Cait unconditionally. Naturally there were times when I disagreed with their actions, but I always gave them the benefit of the doubt. I blamed TPTB. I blamed their respective teams. I allowed that they both played a part in the narrative, but they were doing it under duress.

I want to remain a positive person, but I do not want to sacrifice reality for illusion. At this point I’ve lost respect for Cait. I’m grieving that loss and, as I responded to a comment by @gastairfad, my heart is breaking a little. 

I’d never been in a fandom before, nor had I heard of Tumblr. I imagine my entrance was similar to that of others: I heard that the roles of Jamie and Claire in my beloved Outlander books had been chosen, I Googled the actors, I saw something special, and down the rabbit hole I went.

Both Sam and Cait were wonderful individuals, but where they really stood out was when they were together. They were fresh, authentic, radiantly in love, grateful for the opportunities afforded them by their roles in Outlander, and incredibly likeable.

Then came the IFH (Interview From Hell for the newbies) when they were forced to deny being together. It didn’t take long after the initial gut punch to see that behind the scenes they were the same loving couple, so I went back to shipping. We were treated to a narrative with various fake blonde girlfriends for Sam, and a gay personal assistant for Cait. Most of us shrugged and continued to believe what we’d seen for years. After all, we had a warehouse full of receipts. 

We were more offended by the EFH (Engagement From Hell), but it was obviously a promotional ploy so we weren’t worried. The fake wedding (because whether it’s legal or not, I do not believe it’s real) gave me pause, because the idea of a wedding is more sacred to me than an engagement. We weathered that stage as well, although I certainly lost some respect for Cait at that point. 

What really did it for me was when Cait started using her infant son as an advertising tool while still begging for PRIVACY! She’s the one who decided to publicize the birth, she’s the one who advertised her engagement, and she’s the one who used blazing neon arrows to lead us to her “wedding.” Her breathtaking hypocrisy makes my head spin. 

The Vanity Fair article was the final straw. I saw a version of Cait I no longer recognize: one who is willing to lie, insult the show that has given her so much, denigrate her fans, and take no responsibility for her actions. Even worse, she is willing to play up her infant son and motherhood (not to mention breast pumps, period panties, and eco diapers) in order to get the attention of Hollywood that she so obviously craves in order to score a glitzy award. 

Oh, the irony. What I used to love about Sam and Cait was their inner and outer radiance. I guess winning a bright and shiny little statue is more important.

[365days365movies]

31 (Films) to Life: Dog Day Afternoon (1975) - Recap and Review

Based on a true story time!

Well, this review’s coming a little late for Pride Month, but who cares? Every month is Pride Month, or Black History Month, or International Women’s Month, etc. for me. SO, let’s talk a little bit about New York City in the 1970s. It...it was really, really bad for basically everybody. New York was a crime-ridden, X-rated, terrifying hellscape for a lot of people. Both of my parents grew up here during this time period, and they constantly told me how dangerous New York City was. If you’re going there or would like to go there today, don’t worry! NYC is one of the safest cities in the world nowadays. But back then? Well...

Sex workers were all over Times Square and Central Park, with the latter being one of the most frequent areas for muggings and sexual assault. And for the record, I’m not saying that sex workers were the problem themselves; they were instead indicative of a failing economy and people in desperation for some kind of income. Also indicative of that financial destitution is the record number of homeless and drug dealers (pre-crack epidemic) in the city at the time, combined with police corruption and thriving crime families. 

So, why was money so hard to come by at this point? Simple: the city was too big. Well, OK, not simple, but I’m not an economist. NYC’s spending vastly outweighed its budget, and the city was going bankrupt as a whole. They couldn’t borrow more money from the government, and bad accounting meant that they vastly underestimated how much money they actually needed. And this may actually explain the attitude of some boomers today in terms of things like wide healthcare and free university education. Yeah, really. Higher education was free, and there were better medical benefits for residents of the city. And look where that got them, I guess? Again, though: bad accounting and other decisions caused those issues, but try telling that to some boomers.

Things changed fast, as the city attempted to bandage its hemorrhaging funds, but nothing they tried really worked. They shook down unions, instituted layoffs, turned sales tax into state tax...and then President Gerald Ford refused to give them a loan. Shit. SHIT! By this point, it’s 1975, and we have problems, especially considering what’s on its way.

In the summer of 1976, the city is gripped by a whole new kind of terror: serial killers. David Berkowitz, also known as the “Son of Sam”, is rampaging around the city killing young white women with long dark hair, killing them in parked cars all throughout the summer, as well as the following year. At the same time, Richard “Times Square Killer” Cottingham has been killing people in the city since 1967. Not to mention gang violence, rape, muggings, and...

Before I get into this part, I need to remind you guys of something: none of this stuff I’ve been talking about, NONE of this, is even mentioning race and sexual orientation-based prejudice and disparities. And part of that is because so much crime in those sectors probably wasn’t reported, but it’s also because shit was bad for EVERYBODY at the time in NYC. But it’s important before we move on to talk about LGBT rights in the city in the 1970s. Oh, and I am a straight cissexual male, just to be clear.

While all civil rights in the city is a complex and intricate topic for another time, LGBT rights was especially present in 1970s New York City. One year before the decade began, in 1969, the police executed a routine raid on the Stonewall Inn. And I say routine because gay bars and LGBT-friendly institutions were targeted at the time purely out of institutionalized homophobia. I mean, that’s not even a conspiracy, it’s just true. Officials considered homosexuality a perversion that ruined the image of the city. ‘Cause, y’know, as I’ve been pointing out thus far, their image was sparkly clean at the time. This hypocrisy drove them to perform “sweeps” for gay people, mandating “gender-appropriate” clothing and enforcing the firing of people who were suspected as non-heterosexual. Horrid.

Back to Stonewall, 1969. On June 28, 1969, the cops raided the Stonewall Inn, which was indeed an LGBT club that served alcohol...without a liquor license. To be fair, that system was also rigged against gay clubs for the same reasons, and had previously paid off corrupt cops (with a payment called the gayola, which is admittedly a fun word to me). Their patrons were white, black, and Hispanic members of the LGBT community, and it was the most important gay bar in the city. So, when the cops raided it that morning...it didn’t go well for anyone.

I won’t go into all of the details of the raid, because some of them are...gross to read, but I’ll cut to the most important part. The time came for the police to arrest the patrons of Stonewall. They started by arresting members of the Mafia who were there (it’s just a normal thing for the time period), which was understandably received well. But once the LGBT crowd became the targets...well, all hell broke loose. Stuff starts getting thrown, the cops react violently (because some things never change), and the fight was on! As people started fighting for their rights and shouting “Gay power”, even the local women’s prison supported them from afar, shouting “Gay rights, gay rights!” out of the windows. And at this point, deep into the Stonewall Riot around 2 AM, is when Marsha P. Johnson shows up.

Yeah, despite what Big Mouth and a lot of people think, Marsha wasn’t there at the very beginning. That’s not to downplay her role, though. As a prominent black trans woman in the community (which barely existed at the time), Marsha soon became the figurehead of the movement. When she arrived at Stonewall, the place was on fire. Some say the cops started it, some say the protesters started it, some say the mob started it...it’s fuzzy. But one she got there, the riots raged through Christopher Street, and the cops were getting chased off the site.

By the morning, the street was wrecked and the club was history...literally. Property was destroyed, people were injured...and the Riots weren’t over yet. Night two, and thousands of people show up on Christopher Street. This time, Marsha P. Johnson was front and center, climbing a lamppost and throwing a bag through a police car windshield. More fires, more fighting, more fury. The protesters formed kick lines (yes, kick lines) against the police lines, and there was a massive standoff between the groups. By the end of it, gay rights was here, and was here PERMANENTLY. Which, y’know, is extremely good, obviously. Please look up Marsha P. Johnson for more info, because her story (and the story of her tragic and mystery-shrouded death) are extremely important to LGBT history. She really was Martin Luther Queen.

So, once we hit 1972, trans people are a known quantity in and outside of the LGBT community of NYC. And with that, FINALLY...we can talk about John Stanley Joseph Wotjowicz. And, since I’m actually about to tell you the plot of the film, for the most part...

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

John Wotjowicz (named Sonny Wortzik and played by Al Pacino) was a Vietnam veteran who was married with kids in 1969. But that year, the same year as the Stonewall riots, the two separated. Two years later, John met and married Elizabeth Eden (named Leon Shermer and played by Chris Sarandon in the movie), a trans woman. Now, granted, it’s 1971, so gay marriage wasn’t legalized, but they still had a public ceremony. The balls, seriously! They even got news coverage over it, and didn’t receive any major repercussions.

However, Elizabeth had a nasty case of gender dysphoria, which is obviously not surprising given that she was a trans woman. In her case, though, she attempted suicide multiple times because she couldn’t afford gender reassignment surgery. And yes, this is a GREAT example of how that kind of healthcare saves the lives of countless trans youth and adults every year, but that’s a different topic for a different day...kind of. It’s actually very relevant, because Elizabeth needed the surgery, and John needed the money. And money’s tight in the 1970s for previously stated reasons, sooooooo...

In 1972, Wotjowicz enacts his plan to rob a bank, which is the point where the film begins. After a few botched attempts, he eventually chooses a Chase Manhattan in Brooklyn. Now, common rhetoric then and now says that John did this to get the money for Eden’s surgery. However, to be completely and comprehensively accurate, he may also have committed the robbery on behalf of the Mafia to pay off a debt he owed them. Wotjowicz never confirmed which motive was more important to him, so let’s assume it may have been a combination of the two.

Along with partners Sal Naturile (John Cazale) and Rob Westenberg (named Stevie and played by Gary Springer in the movie), John entered the bank on August 22, 1972, and it immediately went badly for him when the cops got wind very quickly. He held seven bank employees hostage for fourteen hours, and was quickly abandoned by Westenberg, who saw the cops as they were entering the bank. Over the course of the siege, John was in correspondence with the police, and got pizza for himself and the hostages. They negotiated for a car to take them and the hostages to the airport, only for Sal to be shot while in the driver’s seat of the car at the airport. John surrendered, and was taken to jail, where he served 5 years. 

And...yeah, that’s the plot of the movie in a nutshell. Yeah, there’s some stuff about an early raid, talks with cop Eugene Moretti (Charles Durning) and FBI Agents Sheldon (James Broderick) and Murphy (Lance Henriksen), as well as a call with wife Angie (Carmen in real life, played by Susan Peretz). But in terms of the broad strokes, that’s basically it. Well, except for one famous scene, but I’ll get there in a minute.

So, John’s been arrested. While John was in prison, Eden got the surgery...then divorced him and found another guy. They stayed friends and Eden got the surgery, though, so still worth it? ALSO while he was in prison, director Sidney Lumet, who had previously directed 12 Angry Men, and would later direct Network, decided to put his considerable talent into making a movie about the event. And he INTENSELY dramatized the events. John, understand, was happy about Al Pacino’s performance as himself...and was upset with basically everything else.

See, he rightly felt that he was undercut for selling his story for the screenplay. Which, given how successful the movie was, is totally fair. He was also upset at the portrayal of his ex-wife in the movie, which portrayed her as an annoying overweight woman whom he kinda hated. And she wasn’t that at all, and John was an honorable guy, it turns out. Still, despite John’s grievances, the movie is an American classic, as well as one of the first movies to prominently feature an LGBT person as the main character. It’s important in multiple ways, is what I’m saying.

John Wotjowicz died in 2006 at the age of 60, while Elizabeth sadly died of AIDS-related pneumonia in 1987, after getting the virus from a blood transfusion. Which, damn, that’s horrible. It’s honestly a fascinating story, and I get why it was made into Dog Day Afternoon. That said, though, there is an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed here. And that elephant’s name is:

See, this scene is loosely based on famous photos taken of the robbery. This actually was a huge deal at the time, and scenes of John outside wearing this exact shirt-pants combo were famous. Crowds gathered to watch, just like in the movie, and it was a huge deal. But, uh...the Attica thing? Never happened. See, in the movie, Sonny riles up the crowd by shouting “ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!” Getting the crowd to join in. This was a reference to the Attica Prison Riots, which took place a year before. 43 men died in the riots, making it the deadly riot in US prison history, and it was a step in the prisoner’s rights movement of the day. So, invoking this is kind of a big deal. And Pacino improvised the whole thing.

Yeah, this didn’t actually happen! Pacino made this up himself, stoking the crowd’s memory of injustice enough to rile them up and make this scene memorable. And yeah, the crowd was improvising, too! They weren’t even extras, they were just people who wandered in off the street to watch the movie shoot! And they were also really good at being a crowd. They cheered on cue, they booed on cue, they moved on cue, they were...frankly, they were incredible. But yeah, this is technically not true.

That said, there was a crowd there at the time, and they really did cheer and jeer throughout the day. An addition that the movie makes, though, is the addition of LGBT crowd members that protested for gay rights. And while I can’t find a lot of proof of this happening (there is some proof, just not much), it wouldn’t be a big surprise, given what I talked about earlier. Three years after Stonewall, the topic was still on everybody’s consciousness, so having crowd members there does make sense.

Sidney actually called members of the Gay Liberation Movement and Gay Activist Alliance, organizations that were born directly as a result of Stonewall, so that they would be members of the crowd. And one of those members that showed up?

Yeah. A teenaged Harvey fuckin’ Fierstein. Awesome.

So, yeah, this movie was a big deal for LGBT rights and representation, because the event itself is an interesting footnote in LGBT history. So with all of that said...how was the movie itself? Well...

Review: 90%

Um, it’s a really fucking good movie. Is that a surprise, though? I know I normally talk through the movie more, but I don’t think I really needed to this time around. The original story and its background is fascinating. But yeah, the movie absolutely rules, don’t get me wrong. Let’s break it down a bit!

Cast and Acting - 9/10: Unsurprisingly, Al Pacino is stellar. But in truth, everybody’s pulling their weight here. Outside of a few bit parts that don’t work perfectly (mostly in the hostages, sorry Carol Kane), this story is wonderfully portrayed. Also, fun fact, one of the main hostages was played by Penelope Allen, who was actually sort of Pacino’s surrogate mom early in his career. And then they got to act together, which is super sweet! I loved the acting in this one.

Plot and Writing - 9/10: Even though it’s not perfectly accurate in a lot of ways, the movie is damned engrossing in terms of story. Written by Frank Pierson, it’s a story about a sad sack bank robber and his paranoid friend who commit a pretty brave robbery for the time period. It’s a movie where the audience and the characters actually sympathize with the robbers, and it successfully puts them in a sympathetic light. And this is a man in love with a trans woman in 1972. How on Earth did Lumet get this to work as well as he did? Seriously, this is a great story, and very well-written besides.

Direction and Cinematography - 9/10: And yet one more for the 9/10 column with direction by Sidney Lumet and cinematography by Victor J. Kemper. This movie feels like you’re there, like it’s happening right in front of you. And you’re thrust into this impossibly stupid plan, that you can’t help but hope succeeds somewhere deep down in your soul. The immersion that this movie possesses is genuinely impressive, and Lumet is very good at his job. There’s a reason the Attica scene is one of the most famous in cinema.

Production and Art Design - 10/10:Look...I really like this movie. And that immersion I mentioned in the last category is only partially direction. The rest of it? Pure and unadulterated design. Pacino IS Wotjowicz, and that’s down to appearance as much as it is acting. This movie looks great and puts you square in 1972 New York. Which, sure, it was only filmed 3 years later in NYC, so that makes sense, but still; it really felt like I was there.

Music and Editing - 8/10: And finally...wait, this movie had music? It...doesn’t. Oh. OH! That’s why I don't remember any music here. And that was...noticeable, in both a good and a bad way. In a bad way because some scenes got a little draining without it. But in a good way because...to be honest, music was entirely unnecessary. The diegetic sound was the only source of sound in the movie, and it...worked. It really made the whole thing more real and immersive. But that said...sound editing was a little dodgy sometimes. Sure, it’s the ‘70s, with ‘70s film sound quality, but it was still noticeable when Sonny went from inside to outside, just saying. It’s really the only criticism I’ve got, so I’m sticking with it.

So, there you have it: a fantastic movie, and an opportunity to talk about NYC and LGBT history! Neat, huh? If you read this whole thing, then...wow geez, thank you for that. For the next one...let’s hang out in NYC for a while. I’m watching crime movies, and something tells me that this place is lousy with the stuff. We’ll be here for a little while.

Next: Taxi Driver (1976); dir. Martin Scorcese

[dystopiandilfs]

Who is the most powerful member on the DreamSMP? If Niki was given a gun the answer would be Niki Nihachu.

Ranboo and Foolish are the richest and money does equal power however I don't think they're the most powerful. They can get favours but nobody sees them as a threat meaning they have no actual power. You smile at Ranboo and he's out. You mention Catmaidbomb and Foolish starts crying. Easy win.

Sam has control over the person with the most power however he has Dream physically not mentally. He doesn't know Dream meaning he has power over Dream but he doesn't have Dream's power meaning it's not him. Sam is also overpowered by his emotions meaning he can easily be manipulated (Egg and Quackity being two examples)

Techno hasn't ever been the most powerful on the server money wise or power wise. His strongest ally and both of their reputations is what gave him power over people but it didn't last long. People have quickly started to see through Techno and his hypocrisy. His tunnel vision towards Tubbo prevents him from gaining any actual power.

Dream is the most powerful in terms of power and control. However he's repetitive and predictable. He wants chaos meaning he'll side with which ever side he can use to cause damage. However both he's an obvious powerhouse meaning he can't use power as a shock/fear factor.

Quackity has control over Sam who has control over Dream who still even in prison has power however Quackity has too many attachments meaning he has multiple weaknesses and that makes him an easy target.

Jack hell and back Manifold has power but he doesn't know how to use it basically making it useless. He has knowledge that nobody else has(unless Niki uses her time as lore) meaning he has valuable information making him sought after but that's temporary.

In my opinion the strongest and most powerful person on the server is Punz. Nobody sees him as a threat even though he's the one who stuck with Dream the longest, he's part of the Eggpire, he is technically still a knight for Eret (and George). He doesn't have a side which makes him useful for anyone. He's a mercenary meaning he'll team with whoever makes the better offer however he's not obligated to remain on their side. Punz is by far the most unpredictable person. He has the advantage of no known attachments (known by the members obviously he has attachments people just canonically don't know about them). Punz can flex a lot of things that few others can. He took 2/3 of Wilbur's canon lives. He helped prevent Techno's execution meaning he could get a favour from Techno. He has a lot if not the most knowledge out of everyone since he Dream has told him secrets that only they know, He knows Eggpire related secrets, he has a lot of general things to hold over people's head like he was the reason Tommy managed to make an enderchest to hide the discs in the first place creating the first disc war win. The badlands before the Eggpire wanted Punz on their side for power purposes. He helped create/design L'manberg twice, Mexican L'manberg, Badlands etc.

TLDR: Punz isn't seen as a threat even though he's on par with Dream and Techno making him unpredictable and dangerous. He also has no allegiance but you can buy a temporary alliance if you have enough money. Punz has no loyalty and no known weaknesses making him incredibly powerful. He's the only person to never lose a war, he's the only person to fight in a war and benefit from it. King shit.

[scripted-downfall]

Actions of the Greater Greater Good

I have a larger post on the way that covers something very similar to this one, but I wanted to address the backlash against Dean for letting Gadreel possess Sam as weighed against the backlash against Sam for removing the Mark of Cain from Dean (principally in canon, but also, if this addresses anyone in the fandom out there, lovely).

I mean, take the situation with Gadreel.

I’m going to start off by going mildly out of order and addressing Sam’s reaction to being possessed because it makes more sense chronologically that way; he’s pissed because, “I was ready to die!  I was ready.”  And this is utterly ridiculous because, if we look at canon, it’s just factually false.  Or, at least, factually false from Dean’s point of view.  When Sam was completely in his right mind and about to start the trials, his entire reason for doing them instead of Dean was because he wanted to live through them and didn’t want to die.  When Dean stopped Sam in the church, Sam agreed to fight to survive.  And, when Dean — or, rather, “Dean,” because I feel as though it wasn’t actually Dean anyway — shows up to talk to Sam before he agrees to die (and die permanently), Sam once again agrees to live by agreeing to “Dean”’s plan.

Then there’s just the string of extenuating circumstances that take place that make it so much more than just “Dean agreed to let an enemy angel possess Sam.”

For one thing, there was pretty much nothing that looked bad about Gadreel.  He appears unto Dean in the process of taking out the angel attacking him (and, while talking to the angel and not to Dean — which makes it seem more like he truly believes what he’s saying and isn’t just saying it to get into Dean’s favor — refers to angels as beings of compassion and not wrath), all before warning him that more angels were coming.  He then passed out in front of Dean — which is showing unnecessary weakness — and yet didn’t react badly or negatively to Dean’s distrust (i.e. trapping him in a ring of holy fire and then interrogating him).  At the time, Gadreel introduced himself as Ezekiel and Cas vouched for him, and then he also was up front about what he was getting out of the whole situation (i.e. healing himself and Sam at the same time) instead of pretending charity and taking his own benefits without warning.  He also repeatedly emphasized that he was weak (not strategically wise), agreed that he’d leave as soon as Sam was healed, and proffered the information that Sam could eject him whenever Sam wished.

(What I meant, earlier, by “I feel as though it wasn’t actually Dean anyway” is this: an angel needs a vessel’s consent to possess them.  While I suspect that Gadreel used what he knew about Dean and the way Dean thinks in order to convince Sam to say yes, it’s far more likely that Gadreel appeared to Sam in the guise of Dean in order to secure consent than that Dean somehow projected into his head.  Also, to be honest — whether that was Dean or not — Sam shouldn’t have been confused as to what he was agreeing to; not only had the Dean he was seeing in his hallucinations previously not been the real Dean but just a representation of Sam’s will to live, he already should’ve been under the impression that “Dean” wasn’t Dean.  Add to that the fact that “Dean” very clearly was asking for consent with his “Is that a yes?” “Yes.” and the chances that it wasn’t an angel thing are very minimal; I find it hard to believe that a seasoned hunter like Sam wouldn’t understand that.)

There’s also the whole thing where Dean rejected even offering possession as an option to Sam until his brother was literally flatlining in front of him.  It’s not like this was an easy decision, and it’s not like Dean made it lightly; it was literally life or death, he trusted the angel (especially because Cas had vouched for him), and, last he’d heard, Sam actively wanted to live.  It’s not like Dean was going against Sam’s wishes and it’s not like Sam didn’t agree; again, Sam literally had to consent or it wouldn’t have worked in the first place.

I will definitely admit, to be fair, that lying to Sam was a bad decision, and continuing to keep Sam from finding out about the angelic possession was equally unfair… but Sam shouldn’t be throwing stones on the lying-to-his-brother front since his slate on that definitely isn’t clean.

(I will also point out that Gadreel really wasn’t bad when Dean trusted him way at the beginning.  Metatron manipulated him, yes, but the initial lie about being Ezekiel, as well as everything up until meeting Metatron, was all from a place of trying to get away from his past and do better.  I’ll also point out that Gadreel is vilified by a lot of people despite making the same basic mistake Cas did; they both trusted Metatron in an attempt to pay recompense for past misdeeds, and they both were led astray.  I love Cas, but there needs to be less disparity between the forgiveness for his trusting Metatron and the attacks on Gadreel for the same basic mistake.)

Then, after all this time bitching Dean out for how he’d handled Gadreel — after that absolutely cruel and unjustified (and bloody hell, don’t get me started on all that is unfair about the) conversation in “The Purge”) — after all of that… there’s the removing-the-Mark storyline where Sam takes what Dean did with Gadreel and makes it about fifty times worse.

After all, to address the same stages of defense as I went through with the Gadreel situation…

Did Dean consistently express a desire to have the Mark removed?  No.  Indeed, Dean repeatedly — especially after Charlie, and even more so after Rudy — asked that Sam not try to remove the Mark because they’d received evidence on multiple fronts that it would do more harm than good; Sam didn’t listen.

Was there an overall lack of anything suggesting that removing the Mark was a bad way to go?  No.  Good, neutral, and bad individuals alike — Cas, Rowena, Crowley, kinda Charlie, the Book of the Damned itself, Dean (through the Mark), the Styne family, eventually even Death itself etc. — all warned against trying to remove the Mark.  Continuing to try at removing it meant working with a witch who was obviously acting with bad motives, (in order to secure said witch’s assistance) trying to murder and thus driving off their one really high-powered enemy (Crowley) who had actually felt fondly towards them because of his relationship with Dean, working with a Book that was clearly tied in with dark forces and continually was described as calling out for bad things to happen, etc.  Even once Charlie died as a result of it all, even once he expressed regret about that, Sam still continued.

Did he not-lie to his brother?  Nope.  So he has no right to say how dare you hide the existence of the angel possessing me when he hid his own mission to “save Dean” from the Mark of Cain from Dean himself.  They’re both equally bad at telling the truth to the other one, both in terms of their emotions and in terms of things that concern the other’s well-being.  I’m not saying one of the brothers is better in the lying part of these two situations; I’m saying they’re equal, stones should not be thrown, and treating them equally is the only justified way to handle it.

So, anyway, long story already long, I find it absolutely bonkers that Dean is repeatedly vilified for his actions during the Gadreel arc while Sam gets away more-or-less scot-free with his attempts at removing the Mark of Cain; they’re once again at least equal, though I’d argue that Sam’s actions were, overall, objectively worse.

[petre-chose-violence]

The crit they linked is @ enderspawn’s c!techno-critical tag.

Wait, do you mean the entire tag? Did this person went "Just read a book" on you? Like, literally they went "check out this ENTIRE TAG and maybe you'll change your mind" instead of referring to specific points and posts? Bruh. The only way this is not just an elaborate way to say "fuck off" is if the are enderspawn themselves, lmao, but even then it's a dick move

I, mean, I promised to diss these takes, so I'll do my best, but my endurance is not eternal so I will probably not cover the ENTIRE THING.

And to my followers - don't you fucking dare dogpile enderspawn. I know there is probably not enough of you to do that, and I know that a lot of you are reasonable ppl, but if I am wrong about that hear me out - please don’t do any personal attacks and stuff. That’s a no no. Don’t even go and mass disagree with their takes.

Also @ enderspawn, or someone they reblog takes from, if you are reading this, I don't want to start any beef and I have nothing against most of you personally (yet). If you want to respond to this in any way, go ahead. I’m all about having a debate with reasonable people and clowning on unreasonable ones so It’s a win-win for me either way. Also feel free to ignore this if you want, you are not obligated to talk to anybody on the internet. The reason I am doing this is because this anon asked for help, not any form of personal attack.

I am not linking any posts I am responding to because this is more of a c!Techno defense masterpost rather then a diss.

/rp

Ok, formalities out of the way, lets go.

Doomsday Betrayal

So first we have a short take on how it’s wrong to frame Tommy’s betrayal on Doomsday as a betrayal because Techno did the same on Nov 16. This is funny because imagine if I turned it around and said that denying that Tommy’s betrayal is a betrayal while calling Nov 16 that is hypocritical (I actually might do that now). Newsflash - both of these are betrayal, and newflash 2 - an act of betrayal has no inherit moral vailue, it is given to it by context. Techno on Nov 16, Tommy on Doomsday, Quackity joining Pogtopia, Tubbo joining Pogtopia, Punz joining Tommy, Sam joining Tommy, Ranboo apologizing to Techno, Fundy and Niki going against L’manburg on Doomsday - All of these could be put under the “betrayal” umbrella and are good acts at the same time.

Also the difference between these specific examples is that Techno actually contributed to Pogtopia’s cause. /hj

Anyway my take is that Tommy’s betrayal was good for him and his mental health, reconnecting with Tubbo and all that. But, especially considering the circumstances such as being surrounded by enemies and not giving Techno his stuff back, it also was a huge dick move towards Techno and he has every right to be salty.

Also “Tommy apologized” to save his ass after being caught stealing from Techno. “Tommy feels guilty” Techno has no idea.

Technoblade uses his power over people

One of the hypocrisy takes, that for someone who doesn’t like tyranny techno too often uses his power over people to get things his way. Funny because Techno has zero power over people, he can’t even intimidate them properly, the only thing he has going for him is his fighting skill, and a couple of friends as of pretty recent.

Ok, but why using his fighting skills doesn’t make him a tyrant? Because he doesn’t benefit from it. He gets nothing out of destroying tyrannies - no wealth, no power. The only thing he gets from this is a giant neon sign that says “kill this if you want to be a government” over his head. He doesn’t even demand ppl to do something, he just wants them to not 1) be tyrants 2) threaten him, his friends, his pets. There is a difference.

Technoblade doesn’t feel remorse

Except when he does.

Technoblade teamed up with a tyrant and abuser (Dream)

Lol. Yea, Techno had no idea. Going from “Tommy is alone and afraid of an enemy that is much stronger then him in every way” to “Dream abused Tommy” is actually a giant leap to make. Tommy’s “I don’t know if he [Dream] is my friend” could give it away, but again, this just as well could be a complicated relationship.

Same about tyranny bit. For all Techno knows Dream is just some guy who everyone hates for some reason. Nobody ever bothered to tell him that he was a tyrant. “I am more of a president then you” kinda sus, but they were dissing Tubbo there.

And even without that this is a stupid argument because Techno would’ve destroyed L’mnaburg either way, Dre just happened to be offering his help at the time. I mean Tommy also teamed up with Dream for the Battle of the Lake, I don’t see any crit about that.

Holy fuck this is the same post and I am already tired I will return to this after a short break (probaly) in a form of a reblog.

[margokesses]

Wait so people say that other people can't care about seb without caring about anthony cuz it's racist, but people can care about mackie without caring about seb??? I'm confused, isn't that hypocrisy?? Just asking, not trying to attack anyone. I'm just really confused rn

Okay so lemme break down what's been happening in the stackie fandom:

Alot of people will say that they "love anthony" when in reality they just like that he compliments seb. These people are the ones who probably haven't seen any of his works outside of marvel and don't talk about him outside of sebastian. This is racist/anti black because it seems like they don't actually care about mackie as an actor/individual. It's like saying that you only love sam but only because he can help bucky through therapy.

People saying that they like mackie but not seb is not racist because sebastian stan is a white man. Plus he already has tons of fans/followers. He already benefits from being popular due to being white.

This whole thing started because sebastian made a post for anthony mackie's birthday yesterday. And you wanna know who was on trending? Sebastian. They made it all about him when it was mackie's birthday.

So basically us black fans are getting upset because it's just another case of people hyping up their white fav and not caring about black people as usual.

Hope this helps!

[atlasfreak]

hell is hot from your mistakes

chapter four; Tumblr edition

notes: song is ode to l'manburg by beetlebug, all rights to the song go to them

ArchiveOfOurOwn Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30073104/ or THIS

Wilbur names the strider Schrodinger's Strider - If we can't see it, we have no idea if it's dead or alive, he jokes.

"Schrodinger sounds like another word for dick."

I mean, yeah, but- y'know, shut up, Tommy.

Mama stays like she's always been; watching over Tommy like a nesting eagle. It's a miracle Schrodinger's Strider hasn't been killed by her hand. It sits where Tommy's brother used to and it crackles at him all day long, blinking slowly whenever he glances over.

He pats its head.

Mama Piglin has been trying to teach Tommy combat, desperately. She's so very, very hesitant to leave her little child alone and unguarded and vulnerable - it's her only solution. He's a little young for it, sure, but he more than makes up for it with past experience - the muscle memory of life before, of being a soldier of L'Manburg.

Is it a good thing that he was a skilled warrior at 16? No, it really wasn't. It has its benefits, though.

(Wilbur doesn't regret teaching Tommy to fight for his life. It's saved him more times than they can count.)

His mother swipes again - Tommy bobs, blade just almost grazing his little ears. He exhales and gets ready to avoid another slash.

Tommy hasn't been hit yet. He doesn't want to be hit yet. He's afraid to be hit. He won't be hit.

So he jumps and he weaves and he dodges, and he doesn't get hit. The sword flies over his head as he ducks. Mama Piglin purrs when Tommy falls to the floor, exhausted, not a scratch on him.

"You are a very very good fighter," she crows. "Especially for a child."

Tommy smiles.

You know what he's not very good at, though? Piglin. The language. His bane, the real challenge; it's learning to speak in Piglin.

They're in a small clearing, him and his mother. She stands in the center of the nycelium, eyes narrowed, trusty sword in her hands and a smaller blade slung across her back. Tommy doesn't wanna know where she got it from.

Isn't it morbid that she's so awfully protective of you guys - and so awfully sad now that one of you died - but she's fully willing to put another sow through that pain, without hesitation? Hypocrisy, I do say. Hypocrisy.

"Shut the fuck up, Wil." Tommy snorts. He jumps at the sound of a low rumble, glances up - his mother is glaring. She holds the small sword in her hands now, almost offering it to him.

"Repeat, child," she instructs. "'Give me the sword.'"

You'd think it'd be easy for Tommy to just do it- to just say "Give me the sword" and be done with it, but you'd be wrong. Very wrong.

Here's where the issue lies: phonetically, his mother's language is very, very, very different to English. It doesn't matter how similar a piglin's vocal system is to a human's if Tommy doesn't know how to pronounce piglin words. He doesn't know how to make the sounds he needs, and his mother is not very happy about it.

"Wilbur, help," he begs - in English, one might add -at the same time that his mother snaps, "Wrong! Try again!"

I don't know what you want from me, Tom.

"I- how do I make a fuckin' pig noise, huh?" Tommy turns back to his mother and squeaks, another damned attempt.

She huffs. "Wrong. Try again."

You're the piglin here, not me, Wilbur chuckles. His voice is distant today, but not horribly so. I can't help you.

Tommy hides his face in his hands. "Mama, please. I don't know how to make that noise."

"I need to understand you!" she growls back. "Try again or no sword. No sword, no fighting. No fighting, no going out."

(She's been almost as adamant as Wilbur - he can't die, he won't die. She's protective, now; even more so than before. Tommy rarely leaves her sight.)

Wilbur breaks into his thoughts. Tommy, translate.

"'I need to be able to understand you. Try again or you don't get the sword.' No sword, no fighting. No fighting, no going outside."

Ha.

"No, Wil, not ha! I need to be able to fight, remember? To go the fortress? I have to be able to fight as a stupid little pig, you said - that was your rule!"

I remember. That's why it's funny.

Tommy groans. "This is shit! It wasn't a problem before, why does she only care about me speaking fucking English now?"

Wilbur cackles at him. Tommy would flip him off, but he only has three fingers.

His mother narrows her eyes. "I will say it again. Child, repeat. 'Give me the sword.'"

"Why do I need to know Piglin?! I can understand you just fine, that's good enough!" Tommy groans.

Do you have a name? Wilbur asks suddenly.

"Wh- you were the one who named me, Wilbur! Yes, I have a bloody name!"

No, no, no- in Piglin. Do you have a piglin name?

"Child!"

Tommy sighs. He clears his throat and he decides, I'm just going to say oink, and he does just say "Oink", and his mother crosses her arms and he's ready for more disappointment.

But he doesn't get it. "You said a word.," his mother nods. "Wrong word, but a word. You have a very strong accent, child - you speak too much player! Say- say 'Mother'."

Tommy! Answer the question!

"I- uh, yeah, I do," Tommy mutters. He tries his best to copy the squeal, but his mother sighs. "What, did you think she just somwhow knows to call me Tommy?"

What is it? Is it like.. like Techno's? Two words stuck together?

"Uh, I can't pronounce it," Tommy is staring up at his mother, waiting for her next instruction. "It's like... she calls me 'child', but pronounced differently to how she said my brothers' name, which was also child."

Wilbur breaks out into laughter. Your name is child?!

"Child! Say mother. Easy- easy enough word for you."

Tommy exhales and he's ready to be scolded, but he does try. Again, to his complete surprise, his mother claps instead. The sound of hoof on hoof is almost jarring.

"Yes! Good child! You can speak Piglin! Good job, child. Say it again!"

Tommy is appalled, but he copies his own odd sound and his mother tosses him the little sword. "Good child! We will fight with swords now. You will learn to kill - then you will not die like your brother!"

What happened? Tommy, what happened?

"I said a word right," Tommy gasps. "I called her mother and she's very happy."

Wil cheers in his ear. Woooo! Good job Tommy, you can talk! You're officially at the same level as a piglin toddler!

Tommy ignores him and he holds the sword gingerly, examining it. It's very light compared to what he's used to - compared to iron or diamond or even Netherite. He swipes it around experimentally. His mother's eyes widen, but she rumbles in approval. Wilbur is quiet.

Tommy crouches. Finally, something familiar.

His mother unsheathes her own sword and she lunges.

That's what they do, now. In the mornings, whereas Tommy used to play with his brother, Tommy will now instead ride Schrodinger's Strider around the cave or talk with Wilbur. At noon, his mother will quiz him on Piglin words, and then they go out and train. When he gets tired, she tucks him into the rocks, hides him among the red, and she tells him to stay, and she goes out to get food for them. There's not a single day where Tommy doesn't worry she won't come back for him, that she met a hoglin too fierce for her blade, that he's alone and hungry with only a quiet voice for company.

But, despite his darkest worries and fears and thoughts, she always, always comes back. She always comes back and she always purrs when she comes and finds him, nestled softly exactly where she had hidden him, tail waving.

They eat, then sleep, then it starts again.

It's nice.

Tommy's heavy enough to leave tracks, now, and his mother shows him how to hide them. He has little tiny tusks, and Wilbur jokes that they'll be as small now as they'll be forever and that he'll look always like a child. Tommy's half the height of his mother and he's lost some of his fluff, soft down replaced with patches of slick, short fur.

"How many days has it been?" Tommy asks.

Wilbur smiles. In Overworld time, it's been two months.

"What, is Nether time different?"

No, but also yes. Piglins age faster and stay adolescent for longer. You're a few months old, sure, but it's the equivalent of roughly 16 months.

Tommy grumbles. "Piglins are complicated. How do you know? You're a little research boy?"

No, I just I asked Technoblade & Philza, Wilbur explains. You remember that Ghostbur exists at the same time as me? So I can track the days. I went to talk to the Arctic boys - Phil theorizes that aging is almost sped up here because Nether mobs typically don't live long, so they need to be fully grown sooner, and-

He pauses. Tommy turns to look for the source of his voice - he figures Wilbur is probably sitting on Schrodinger's Strider - and he tries his damndest to make eye contact with the invisible. "And what, Wil?"

..and, uh- and Techno is suspicious of me.

"They don't know I'm alive, right?"

They don't, no, but Techno doesn't- I think he knows that I'm not really Ghostbur. I think he recognizes me as- you know, me.

Tommy blinks. "That's not good, is it?"

It's not.

"...Do they miss me?"

Techno and Phil? They.. don't believe you're dead, really. They haven't seen your body or your ghost - they think Sam is lying. It's sad to watch.

"What about everyone else?" Tommy whispers. "Tubbo? Quackity? Sam Nook?"

There's silence. Tommy takes a sharp inhale. "Wilbur? Wilbur, what about Tubbo?"

Wilbur does not respond.

Of course, this fragile little peace, this tranquil calm - it can't last. No matter how powerful she is, Mama Piglin can't always be there to save the day.

And this is that day.

She's slinking through the forest brush, foraging for food. Tommy is watching her, laying up in a tree that he'd scrabbled up like a baby cat, and Wilbur is daring him to eat a shroomlight.

Come on, it'll probably taste like, fruity.

"Aren't you the one who always fucking says 'Tommy, you can't die. Tommy, it's super important you don't die'? Why are you trying to kill me?"

Wil laughs in his ears. It won't kill you! And it'll be funny. Phil will be proud.

"What, are you gonna tell him I somehow found a fuckin' shroomlight in the Aferlife, or...?"

.... ok, nevermind.

Tommy laughs. His mother casts a look back up at him from below, a quiet warning: Shh!

He shuts his mouth.

Wilbur is distant in his ear. He says he's still in the cave, hanging with Schrodinger's Strider, and Tommy groans. "Why can't you come hang with me? You can leave your little friend alone, it's ok. You have TommyInnit, you don't need a strider friend."

He'll- he'll get lonely without me.

"Ok, and?"

Hush your mouth. I'm allowed to get attached. Anywa, what's Mama up to out there?

Tommy peers through the red. "She found some hoglins. She's climbing up a tree so she can jump down on them - two, an adult and a baby."

Tasty.

"What. The fuck."

What?

"Why would you say that!?"

Well- you're gonna be eating them, aren't you?

"Actually," Tommy decides, "that's fair."

He watches with mellow interest as his mother drops down - her sword cuts right through the soft skin of the baby, it's dead in seconds. The mother roars and Tommy watches with wide eyes as Mama spins round and rakes her blade across the swine's great, ugly face. It rears with a scream, blood tripping down from its eyes and eyelids firmly shut tight. It warbles and snarls as Tommy's mother tries to jump onto its back.

Tommy grins. "Yeah! Good job, Mother!" he cheers. Piglin Mama glances up at him - at his Piglin - with wide eyes. The swine knocks her off with a grunt.

Tommy's smile falls. The hoglin sniffs at its dead child for just a moment while his mother blinks, dizzy. The hog turns to stare at her, almost if to shout, to accuse; You killed it!

His mother gets back up and crouches again, sword shining yellow and dripping red, ready for round two. The great beast narrows its eyes and runs the other way, towards Tommy. His mother yelps as its beady little eyes spot him on his perch in the rickety old branches and he sees the maniacal light in its eyes.

Revenge.

Tommy's mother screams.

Tommy gasps as the hoglin slams full force into the tree, powerful tusks tearing weak roots out of the ground. Wilbur screeches in Tommy's ears as he grabs onto his branch for dear life and the ground shakes but all of his attention is on the stinging, the humming pain, the wet red trickling from his nose, just like it did months ago, months ago; months ago, when Dream killed him.

He shuts his eyes tight and he prays to any god that'll listen.

Please, please don't make me go back to the void, please.

The thundering of the ground - of great angry hog hooves - stops suddenly with an awful, wet squelch. Tommy stays stock still among the red wart branches, hands over his ears and hoping desperately that he's hidden well. Light leaks through his eyelids but he still doesn't open them. He doesn't open them when he's lifted out of the tree wreckage, or when he's held close by wet, red hands, or when he feels warm breath checking for life.

"It's ok, little child. I have you, it's ok. No more hogs, no need for fighting or blood. Please do not cry. Never will hogs get to you again. Never, ever. I will never let it happen. I promise. I promise. Please do not cry."

So Tommy doesn't.

She doesn't really let him out of her sight anymore.

There's no more hunting, no more foraging - only patience, hunger. She sits by the entrance to the cave and she waits for something to pass by, something to kill. That's what they eat - anything unlucky enough to pass by their den.

Tommy eats more rotten flesh these days.

"I am sorry, child. But it is not safe for me to go away."

He doesn't reply.

Wilbur sings to him more, now. When he feels low, Wilbur will notice. Schrodinger's Strider will rub against his piglin cheek and Wilbur will hum to him, keep him company. He doesn't talk about the SMP anymore. Part of Tommy is grateful.

It's not bad. His mother still him trains to fight here, in the cave, and she's still kind. She'll always be kind, Tommy reminds himself. She's just been through a lot.

That's what happens when she tries to raise main character, Wilbur tries to joke. It falls flat.

His mother watches him so much more closely, if possible - he's not seen her sleep. He wakes up under her gaze and he falls asleep with her eyes boring into her back. Once upon a time, weeks ago, she wouldn't be caught dead letting him curl up to her.

Now, it's more common than not that he falls asleep with his face burrowed into her side.

They fight with their swords - his mother's hits are harder, faster, and Tommy bites down the memories every time he ducks a moment too late, swallows the panic. His mother remains on the offensive, insistent - "Get up! We'll go again!"

That's how it is now, really. Tommy wakes up, he trains, he sleeps and his mother waits, maybe he'll eat and then he trains, and when his muscles hurt or he has one blade's nick too many, he'll sleep. Then he opens his eyes to his mother's watch and it starts again.

It's only so long that the cycle can last.

And Wilbur ruins it.

It's an average day, really. Tommy lays in his soul soil patch, humming. He's had a shit morning - he woke up with Dream's burning green eyes boring into him, with the cackle of his voice in his ears. Wilbur notices immediately, of course. His mother doesn't. She went as hard as always in combat training, and Tommy still feels the awful, awful sting of the cut she left on his arm. The worst part is, it's a sting. A little tiny slash, already scabbed over, and he's overreacting. He can't blame his mother, really - she wants him to be safe. He understands that.

It still sucks his breath out when he shifts and bumps the wound against something.

Wilbur pities him. He hates it.

Theseus, do you need help?

"I don't need fuckin' pity, Wilbur. Leave me be."

He hears Schrodinger's Strider crackle, bump him gently. Fire shoots up his injury. Tommy snarls.

I'm sorry, Tommy, Wilbur murmurs.

"Good. Keep your pity to yourself and get this fuckin' strider away from me."

To his surprise, the strider backs up. Tommy huffs and goes back to laying in the dirt, staring at the red roof.

Wilbur's quiet voice fills his ears. He narrows his eyes, but doesn't comment.

It all started on a day like any other, Tommy hears. All the salmon had swum to the sea. But my lover she darted away down the stream, with the heart that she'd taken from me. Tommy, do you know this song?

Tommy doesn't respond, but Wilbur continues.

And my chest, though it ached, there was hope - a little beacon of light. Though my sunniest days are now stolen away, I still have our son by my side. You know, that's Fundy. Sally would've loved him, I think, if she'd bothered to stay and get to know him.

Tommy doesn't respond.

And as he looked up with me with those wondering eyes, I just knew that I must protect him with my life, Wilbur sings quietly, And make a land that is good and a land that is free, for the better of you and of me.

Tommy doesn't respond.

We'll build these walls with our own fair hands, through the wind and the rain and the snow-

"It never snowed in L'manburg, Wilbur," Tommy responds.

-and I swear by my life that I'll stay by your side, whatever the world has to throw.

"That aged well. When's the last time you even saw Fundy?"

So I summoned my men to my side, Wilbur hums, And we sung a familiar tune - as a final goodbye with our fists to the sky to our past as we started anew.

"I don't wanna hear this anymore, Wil."

We built these walls with our own fair hands, through the wind and the rain and the snow - and we swore that we'd keep an unwavering faith in the land that we carved for a home.

"Wil, quit it. I'm fucking serious. I don't wanna hear about L'manburg."

Oh, the thought of the day lit our country ablaze as the sun rose bloody and true, Wilbur's voice breaks. Arrows- arrows burned through the sky as we swallowed our pride, and we ran with our backs to the moon-

Tommy sits up. "Wilbur, shut up."

And Wilbur doesn't respond - he keeps singing. Tommy falls back with a thump.

-to our demise.

"From a friend full of lies," Tommy murmurs. He remembers it so clearly - he's there, almost. Staring. He hears the hiss of redstone, but no click of pistons, no crack of pearls. Instead he smells burnt flesh and sees a crater that was once his home, sees the bloodied body of a brother, sees hands strained gray in gunpowder.

Oh, the break of the day shed its light on our hearts, left battered and bruised.

"All the hopes that we'd made on the home that we made," Tommy sings with Wilbur now, "Torn to pieces and left in the blue."

Pain shoots through Tommy's ears - so many voices, so many, too many - but Wilbur leans against Schrodinger's Strider with fond, visible brown eyes.

"But my friend, with an angry cry, held the weight of our-"

And just like that, it's ruined. A sword swipes through an incorporeal body and Wilbur squeaks as it goes through his torso and nicks Schrodinger's Strider. It chitters in surprise as blood wells up on its side.

Wilbur is gone in an instant, and the voices quiet down, and his mother screams.

"A player! A human player! Oh, danger! You're not safe! Why are you not safe?! It's meant to be safe! It dug through the wall, it must've- it must've broken in! Child, you are ok, please tell me you are ok," Mother Piglin wails, sniffing at his head as always.

Tommy stares blankly at where Wilbur had just sat, eyes so kind, so very very kind - kinder than they'd been in months.

Wilbur's voice is quiet, but not distant. A nervous whisper. I'm so sorry, Tommy, I forgot.

Tommy swallows as his mother continues to ramble and hold him close.

"It's ok, Wil."

When Tommy is too quiet - when his eyes don't focus or he shakes or he wakes up breathing too quick - Wilbur would sing. He would sing and he would hum and Tommy would shut his eyes tight and he'd relax and Wilbur would always, always sing for him when the life was unkind.

He sings more often now.

[threewaysdivided]

I appreciate the response. Yeah, among other adjustments, had the plot been handled a little differently, I feel like Sam’s relationship with her parents could have evolved into something like that of Danny and Jazz and their parents. And don’t get me wrong; I still like Sam, too.

(In reference to this post and follow-up ask.)

Good to hear from you again 😊

I think there were a lot of things across the board that could have been tweaked or edited to improve the integrity of the series.  If I had to boil down the problem with DP to a single point I’d probably say it’s that the most interesting parts of the show are the characters/world/implications but the writers (or some of them anyway - I suspect there might have been some conflict between Hartman, the lead writers and the execs’) wanted certain plots, aesops and gags, and chose to brute-force them in regardless of whether they actually worked with what was already there.  Basically, it lacks consistency and internal logic.

For Sam in particular I think there are a few things that could have been handled better:

First one’s more a general complaint at the show and might light a fire under my notes but heck lets go there anyway but the writing has kind of a sexist bent that really doesn’t fit the characters or need to be there. Considering how much Danny and Jack are shown to love and respect Maddie and Jazz there’s no way they’d call their involvement in Genius Magazine “the swimsuit edition”.  Paulina might be traditionally feminine but “She surrendered her individuality for a boy! I’m so proud of her!” is not a line that any human girl in the history of human girls would say unironically.  There’s also a few too many jokes that basically boil down to “male character is emasculated/ vulnerable/ likes feminine-coded things, hyuk hyuk hyuk”.

I’m bringing this up not just because they’re gross cheap gags but because for Sam specifically, this pervasive low-key contempt for women and femininity in the writing, especially the tendency to portray almost every non-sympathetic girl her age as one-note, brainless boy-crazy cliches that she can’t connect with, really does not help her character.  I would have loved to see more genuine interaction between Sam and the other girls, even if it most of it was Kim Possible-Bonnie Rockwaller style antagonistic rapport.  We could have seen her develop some kind of tenuous connection with one of the A-listers, or even just have a secondary-female-character to be cordial towards - kind of like Mikey is for Danny and Tucker.  Hold up, outside of Valerie, Star and Paulina are there any named secondary girls at Casper High?  Sam doesn’t seem to have a single female friend in the show and considering how vocally judgemental she is, it can almost read like she’s rejecting them outright for being girls, which really undercuts attempts to make her seem feminist. (I mentioned it in a past tag but this feels like an early-2000s-male-writer mistake of equating Female Empowerment™ with the ability to tear down other women and belittle traditional femininity - which isn’t so much Feminism as it is Internalised Misogyny.)  Even just mixing up the pairings to put her with Star instead of Kwan in Lucky in Love would have helped.

I’d have also liked to see more awareness of and consistency in the conflict between her activism and her wealth.  It kind of undercuts the significance of her activism when you realise that she’s wealthy enough to make these choices with little cost to herself; it’s much easier to go vegan or buy renewable/ recyclable /sustainable /fair-trade when price isn’t an issue, especially if you also have serving staff to offset the time cost.  Once you notice this it makes her activism feel more tokenistic, and also like she doesn’t really understand her own privilege when she tries to push her agendas onto the school/ her classmates without considering why they mightn’t be able to do so as easily.  It’s also weird because the source of her family’s wealth is a cellophane-toothpick-wrapper (i.e. something that basically produces litter) but she still seems very comfortable enjoying the material benefits despite her pro-eco anti-consumerism sentiments.  It’s bizarre that she’s more concerned with the social consequence of ‘fake friends’ than the ethics of capitalism.  It can come off a bit “do as I say, not as I do”. 

It would have been nice for the show to give more screen time to reinforcing that Sam is aware of that conflict and is making an active effort to hold to her principles even at the cost of personal comfort; maybe showing some unease at the source of her wealth, trying to live below her means and only spend up on ethical/ eco-friendly/ sustainable products, op-shopping or hand-making her goth accessories, going out of her way to re-use or re-purpose things even if buying a new one would be ‘better’, actually showing or referencing her doing substantial hands-on activities (e.g. going off-screen or taking the boys to do tree-planting, litter pickups, soup kitchens, animal-shelter work etc).  Just something to help make it clearer that she genuinely cares and isn’t just doing the low-mess lip-service activities because she enjoys indulging in the image of Wokeness™.

These things would have helped regardless of how her family was written but let’s hop back on topic and talk about them.  I don’t have any prescriptive preference but let’s spitball a few different options and how they could have played:

#1 Sam’s parents don’t respect her interests and want her to fit a mold

In this case I’d make it that they don’t really pay attention or show much caring for who Sam really is as a person; their image of and interactions with her are more of a fantasised version of the ‘perfect’ daughter they want, they make very little effort to encourage her actual interests and are perhaps restrictive about what they let her do in the few moments when they do bother paying close attention (you might compare to some versions of Tim Drake’s Parents from DC Comics).  Classist, overly image-conscious, snobby and superficial.  

This would be the most sympathetic portrayal of her character without changing it very far from how it is in DP canon - helping contextualise why Sam is so fiercely defensive of her autonomy, why she pushes so hard when trying to get her opinions across and why she’s so judgemental of rich people and disdainful towards classic femininity - even possibly explaining her more hypocritical/ manipulative/ entitled traits as learned behaviours.  It would also give her more legitimate reason to be less empathetic towards others - after all even if they have struggles and family troubles it’s still better than what she’s dealing with (Danny’s parents may not be attentive but hey, at least they love him for himself, right?)

For this version I’d probably put her arc around growing past the “suffering olympics” model of viewing other people’s pain, but also in her finding family in Danny/Tucker/her Grandmother’s circle of connections, learning how to have healthy power-balance and communication in her relationships with others (aka: getting over her hypocrisy and realising that assertiveness is about communicating that “I matter, and so do you”) and pulling away from her parents’ influence - maybe even living with Ida a lot of the time.

#2 Sam’s parents are well-intentioned but overbearing

For this one, Sam’s parents would genuinely want the best for her… only they have an overly old-fashioned and restrictive view of what “the best” is and are a bit set-in-their-ways.  They’d probably view “hippies” and “goth” stuff as “dangerously rebellious hooligan-activities” and likely to be somewhat patronising about Sam’s passion for it being “just a phase”.   They’d be worried about her hanging around “the Fenton Kid” and “the Foley Kid” both because Danny’s parents are kind of irresponsible screwballs about safety but also because they put a lot of value in image due to their belief in social connections being the way to get ahead.  Them pushing Sam towards classic femininity and specific activities would be less about disrespecting her identity and more about their overly narrow view of “success” and worrying that she’s going to end up losing valuable opportunities and “wasting her life” if she keeps on down her current path.

This would still give Sam more sympathetic context for her views on femininity and pushiness about self-expression. 

Personally I think the arc I’d like to see here is one themed around responsible/considerate assertiveness and valuing alternative perspectives.  Sam coming to realise her own hypocrisy - that she can’t push her views onto others while complaining about her parents doing the same - developing more sympathy for Danny as she realises that he’s in a similar position with Jack’s insistence that he’ll inherent Fentonworks and his parents’ narrow-mindedness about ghosts, interacting with other girls and seeing their perspective, learning how to assert her opinion while making allowances for others’ (maybe an alternative version where she connects with Star in Lucky in Love and, after Aragon’s defeat in Beauty Marked, Sam still says she personally thinks it’s dumb but then steps down and lets Star win because she understands that Star values it), and getting her Grandma’s help in convincing her parents to widen their perspective while still responding to their concerns.

(This one has the overall kindest message and I think I like it best).

#3 Sam’s parents are trying and Sam’s actually the problem 

This one is the one that’s the least sympathetic to Sam.  Her parents still don’t get the Goth/Activist thing and they have some concerns about safety but they understand that it makes her happy and they’re okay with it so long as she’s not getting into trouble or mixing up with anyone that could hurt her.  Them pushing her towards more feminine/optimistic things is less pushing and more trying to encourage some hobbies that offer a bit more common ground.  They might have reservations, and they might not always have time, but they would like to be part of their daughter’s life… except for the problem that Sam has wrapped herself up in a teen-drama persecution complex and got it into her head that they “won’t accept her” are “pushing her to be someone else” and “don’t understand” so there’s no point even trying to explain or connect.  In this one Ida isn’t taking sides on purpose but she ends up accidentally enabling Sam a little because Sam reminds her of her younger days and she likes spoiling her granddaughter (and doesn’t much care for her daughter-in-law).

In this case Sam’s flaws would be framed much more as flaws born of her making superficial snap judgements, thinking she knows better and being too proud to admit she’s wrong.  There would definitely be moments of her coming across as an entitled, privileged holier-than-thou brat who invents problems because she likes feeling sorry for herself, especially early in her arc.

This version of the story would go the hardest on Sam with the general lesson being “you need to respect that other people are people who have their own problems, feelings and needs that are as real and valid as yours”.  She’d still have good qualities and Danny and Tucker would still obviously like and value her but there’d also be times of strain where they don’t want to hurt her feelings but are clearly getting worn out with the nonsense.  At its worst, maybe a “you’re like mustard. Great in small quantities, but a lot of you is…a lot” type confrontation.

I’d also give the secondary cast the most fleshing out, agency and sympathetic-ness here, and have beats where Sam has to realise that they’re lot more complex than her 2D stereotyped view of them and are dealing with actual serious problems to which hers are largely non-issues by comparison.  I’d probably play Dash and Paulina similar to in the fic Alibi (go read it, it’s good) - Dash being gay and performing aggression because toxic masculinity, insecurity, and being terrified of anyone outside the A-listers finding out (still not okay that he’s a bully but at least more understandable), while Paulina is hiding high emotional perceptiveness behind her pretty face and deliberately bearding for him to keep bigoted parents/ teachers off his back.  I’d also probably have a subplot in an alternate Life Lessons where Sam follows Valerie around because jealous/possessive and, like Danny, ends up realising that she’s working two jobs to help her Dad with their financial problems.  Basically she’d be getting hit with the Reality Stick a lot.

There’d also be more instances of Sam getting directly called out by the other girls. Fleshing them out as people and showing that their dislike is less superficiality and more because she unfairly judges and antagonises them all the time.  Giving them more agency in Beauty Marked and have them be direct about “we know you’re just here to be smug about how much ‘Better’ you are but have you considered that we’re doing this for ourselves and actually enjoy it?”.  Having Paulina be less “tee hee I am indeed a Witch” in Parental Bonding and more “Ugh fine, fine, I don’t really like him that much but you were being so obviously Jealous and Judge-y and I figured if I played a little you might actually step up.  But fine, if you’re sure.  Here’s your necklace back, I’ll let your dorky ‘friend’ down tomorrow.  But pro-tip?  You like someone you gotta go for it - otherwise don’t complain when your boy-toy gets taken by someone who actually means it.”  (Still petty, but emotionally intelligent pettiness, which… not really much better, but at least more interesting.)  A lot more of Sam realising that she’s not a particularly good feminist and that she’s no more entitled to Danny’s affections than anyone else.

To be honest, while I could say the most about this version and there’s a lot of potential drama there it’s the one I like the least because it means canonising my least favourite proto-abusive bad-faith narcissistic reading of Sam, casting her as an almost-villain and essentially punishing her over and over until she character develops into a decent human being.  Sure it’s an important message about how you treat others but it’s not a very nice or kind story and while there might be the odd fic that makes it cathartic I can’t say I’m a huge fan.

Again, if I had to pick, I’d probably go with something like #2. 

But there we go.  Another thrilling instalment in the “overly long posts about Sam Manson” saga.  

Hope you enjoyed it and thanks for stopping by!

[archtroop]

Supernatural ENDS - A Darkness!Dean & God!Sam Ending MetaTheory

As Supernatural enters its final a story arc, there have been many theories of the possible ending for the Winchester brothers. Me, personally, I've theorized it before, but now, that the idea of killing/eliminating both God and Amara was made literal within the show – I would like to humor and toy with this idea once more – and with feeling – of the ending being God!Sam & Darkness Dean.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I present to you - 

Supernatural: A Divine Comedy

FICTION BECOMES YOU (Is that a Misery thing?)

The brothers were written as God's way of dealing with his own issues with his beloved other half – The Darkness. But when I say “Brothers” I mean not only Sam and Dean: Before them there were Michael & Lucifer (and I would also suggest that the discrepancy presented through the seasons regarding who is the older brother and who is the younger may actually suggest they are a set of twins, foils, literally, figuratively and in any other way, and thus – stand first and foremost on equal grounds); Cain and Abel – whose story was altered by Lucifer's intervention – be it Chuck's intent or not – and Finally – Dean & Sam themselves.

There is actually one more couple I could think of who weren't mentioned but may have just been another set of Chuck's machination: Adam and Eve. The show obviously shied away from this parallel, but it did parallel Dean and Sam with their own parents. It's not that far fetched and I'll explain my reasoning later on.

In various myths of creations, in all cultures – pagan and monotheistic alike – the duality and the fraternity of two entities that are also a couple is very common: Morduch and Tiamat, Isis and Osiris and you google it. Morduch and Tiamat are especially interesting in this regard – since Tiamat is water and skies and the Primordial Goddess of Chaos – she is defeated by Morduch – who is the God of the Land - and thus earth is created. Well you get the picture.

My point is, Dean and Sam (notice I'm flipping the order of the names on purpose) are the last link in a series of sets, and in Chuck's perspective – they are his best and most enjoyable ones. In a very convoluted, subversive Supernatural-esque way – they are also unkillable to a certain degree – they have a free will too strong, and Chuck can't seem to bend them to his own will. Dean and Sam won't kill each other under no circumstances. And this drives Chuck towards madness.

The thing about free will and godly intent is that – as a Jewish saying goes - “everything is predestined, but permission is granted” - means God will not bend free will. He will give you all the roads less traveled, all the hints and clues and goading, but you are still free to choose. Also he knows what you may choose, unless you choose otherwise. It's a paradox of sorts, and that is exactly the point.

With Michael and Lucifer Chuck sought to have his own story under control. But Lucifer wouldn't comply. Lucifer, the Light Bringer, is actually a Chuck parallel. Chuck, too, had to have his own way. Michael, forever loyal to the order of things – just like The Darkness is – followed orders. And thus, Lucifer, cursed with the mark that held the Darkness (about that later on, too) - fell. My sympathy for the Devil in this case is that – Lucifer showed great free will (in the Supernatural mythology, by that point Lucifer was the carrier of The Mark, but I would give him the benefit of the doubt and allow Lucifer act on his accord regarding the rebellion). Lucifer's free will is immense: He had an actual, personal opinion, while it was an unfathomable notion to any other angel at the time. Lucifer sought the love and approval of his absent father – who was eternally immersed in his work. When he couldn't achieve that – he rebelled. Interesting to think of that in regards of young and willful Sam. Pride – was also a trait Lucifer and Sam shared. Sam had the audacity to step out, and he acted upon his free will. He rebelled. Sam, too, was “marked”, but was that the Demon Blood in him, or was it his free will? God's hypocrisy is also very apparent in this – angels are not to have free will, as it is not meant for them. Yet, they are capable, and are punished for acting upon it, be it benevolent or malevolent.

Adam and Eve followed. There are actually two separate tales in the bible regarding the emergence of mankind: The first depicts Adam and Eve as made equal and in God's image. The second one – tells the story that features the rib. Canonization of the bible by men preferred to emphasize the later – out of obvious reasons. Yet if you look closely and read carefully – the first one is still there. What is interesting about this duality is the idea of Nature vs. Nurture emerging: the Nature of Adam and Eve is equal. But the nurture – societal tale – is not. This is interesting especially in regards of Dean and Sam here – their predestined nature was neutral - a big brother. A younger brother. Just another family. But God's machinations, Azazel's plan (remember free will?) and the angels all together – created a “rib”: The story diverted, in a way that Dean not only fulfilled the role of a brother, but also acted as the mother, the father and anything else in between in a way – Sam grew out from under Dean's wing – from his rib, to be at his side. The roads all together lead to a situation, in which, by the time Mark Of Cain came up, Sam was not just the Abel of the story, But also the Colette. This toppled the story over, and prevented the ending Chuck was constructing.

Also, Adam Milligan was a reenactment of Seth – the third brother of Cain and Abel. Seth was born to replace the brother that died, and this is literally his only predestination. Within the show, Adam Milligan ends up as Michael's vessel, but if we go back, and think about god's great plan – it is most likely he would've thought of a backup for Lucifer's vessel – since the trait of pride and rebellion would've been the vessel's predisposition. Azazel had similar thought's actually. See my Azazel meta for more musings.

Adam ending up as Michael's vessel was one of the first chinks in God's plan. Dean and Sam had it their way, as did the angels and the demons. And God liked that story, he really did. But he was not satisfied. His characters surprised him. But they were also disobedient.

While Sam is the one who is constantly defined by his eternal faith (which is kinda proudfull on its own), he himself feels “unclean” and  “unworthy”. Yet as long as he has Dean – he would have enough “Faith” for them both. In many ways, Sam's path to godhood was well paved from the start: he is the Saint, the Sacrificial Body, the one to take upon himself the sins of others. Many times he is the Jesus, the Messiah. Sam mourns the few even if he saved the most. He is the God humanity would've wanted – the God who is on the side of humanity, the God we deserve.

Dean, on the other hand, is The Righteous Man, the one to call the shots, most of the time, the one to be right about many things again and again. And this is not about doing the right thing, it's about being right about the nature of the thing. He basically embodies naked truth, a chaotic, primordial truth. In other words, if Sam is conscience, compassion and forgiveness – Dean is raw judgement, truths and facts (in fact, “Dean” in Hebrew – and thus in the bible – means “judgement”). They both comprise together flesh and spirit – body and Soul. Of course, this is not cut and dry, and their traits crisscross between them throughout the story.

When Dean took upon himself The Mark Of Cain, he became the carrier of The Darkness. He was the body that released her, he became the mother of The Darkness on the earthly plain. Darkness is matter and nothingness. God – is creation, spirit, soul. He en-souls earth with life. The Darkness is very much a mother earth figure, the material from which creation could happen. Sam is what gives Dean his motivation, his life. Without Sam, Dean is a sorrowful walking corpse. Without Dean, Sam is a soulless shell of a human being, vicious and remorseless. They keep each other human, sane.

The Mark in itself, embodied the rage of an entity trapped for eons. It drives the host mad with basic carnal desire and strips it of all its virtues. Demon!Dean embodies this. It's a cry for help. Amara screaming for freedom. In a way it is somewhat of an allegory to pagan beliefs and old faiths screaming in agony as Christianity crashes and tramples them. It manifests as this natural catastrophe of sorts, cruel and unpredictable. After all, vices are born from desires being locked away and ignored.

SAM AS THE CREATOR; JACK'S FREE WILL

God may have created all things, but his prime virtue is giving choice, and presenting his creations with numerous paths. Sam is this. Jack was born predominantly an evil creature (which is not entirely true – Lucifer was an archangel first, Satan – later. In closer look, he embodies free will and the freedom of thought). Dean was right about Jack being dangerous, about him bringing discord and hurt. But Sam was the one to insist on the fact that Jack is part human, and he has as equal chance at goodness. As much as Castiel was to be the one to raise Jack and influence him, he ended up being the one to insure his corporeal emergence of all things. This is in itself a beautiful thought: Castiel “fall” is about becoming less of a wavelength of celestial intent and more and more of a human being. His pull towards Dean, which is undeniable, in my opinion, is his longing to become a whole complete creature – by defending Kelly till the very end and ensuring the birth of humanity, Castiel embodies a very corporeal form of evolution.

But it is Sam who molds Jack the most: He gives him CHOICE. Dean, with time, comes to terms with Jack and who he is and may be. In this metaphor – Sam is God, Dean is The Darkness and Jack – is humanity and creation. Jack may bring discord and hurt, but as well may bring joy and hope. Jack in his turn invokes himself a guiding figure: Castiel, who is there to be by his side, an actual, real and corporeal guardian angel. He is the godfather figure, in this metaphor. The faith humans put in whatever there is other then God; a set of rules, a spiritual guide. It's beautiful on it own: Sam is to give Jack choice, but the angel – is the one to grace Jack with conscience.

“I AM TIRED”; DEAN'S SOLACE IS AMARA'S WISH

When the line “there will be peace when you are done” is ever uttered, we must recall a very specific thing: While Sam, as a Messiah figure, rises his head again and again, Dean is the one to repeat how tired he is. To actually be frustrated at having to save everybody. To be running on fumes. Time and time again, it comes up – he is torn between the duty and the longing for quite, and to close his eyes. He is a death seeker. Sam is forever hopeful, and hope is the last to die, if Sam's hope runs out – everything falls apart – Dean will shoot himself (Croatoan) or worse. When Amara came to Dean in a shroud of blackness, she offered him to be one with her. To receive an eternal rest. It reminded me of Jewish burial: the body is thoroughly cleaned and wrapped in white shrouds, then lowered into a hole in the ground. No coffins – you are to become one with the earth. Your soul is to depart and to be placed with all the rest of the souls in the “bundle of lives”. Amara goes on and says that the souls she consumed live inside her, and are at peace. And Dean is tempted, he is pulled towards her and her words. But he can never rest, for there is work to be done. He is cursed to feel responsible.

One other thing that makes Dean and Amara compatible, is their choice of freedom: Amara, as a free entity (and I mean – free from any and all inhibitions) indulges in humane activities, rather then trying to, say, take over or plot further revenge. Dean, too, is actually a very carnal, tactile physical being. In many ways, Dean embraces humane vices, as things that just exist – he acknowledges the joys of flesh (even though it is not his primary longing), and that furthermore positions him as an earthly being of raw matter. He may be very judgmental of human choices but not of their cravings.

In the duality of Creation and Nothingness, we now enter the duality of Spiritual and Material. And from the point of view of religiousness – spirituality is the divine, while the carnal is regarded to as vein. In that parallel, The Darkness is all that is ungodly – it does not render it as void (that would be The Abyss – dubbed as The Empty on the show), but rather the foil of Spiritual Divinity: Flesh and Blood.

---------------

To save humanity, our heroes need to stop the God That Has Gone Mad. But since he is woven into the fabric of creation, he cannot be killed – it will cause a great imbalance. Billie's reincarnation as Death could be a foreshadowing: maybe if a reaper is made in Death's image, and the human is made in God's image –  the human to annihilate God – will become him? Or, maybe the answer is The Darkness. But will Amara be willing to hurt her younger kin? Micheal turned on Lucifer at God's will. Cain killed Abel out of necessity (to save his soul); but Dean wouldn't kill Sam for neither of those reasons. He would have Sam corrupt or not but alive. Maybe a pair of soulmates are needed to complete this task – two humans who embody a bond on a metaphysical level, a strong enough bond to hold the balance of the universe with it.

In whatever scenario it goes down, at the end – no way God or The Darkness may exist without the other. A reincarnation of each of the entities would be needed to keep the universe on its feet. Since the idea of heroism has been presented – that would be the perfect heroic balanced act to put an end to the story: Sam taking God's place, and Dean becoming one with The Darkness. By becoming a corporeal manifestations of omnipotent entities, they have the power to save creation and maintain balance, while never loosing each other. Sam as the new God, is no more the writer, as much as he is An Archivist (A Men of Letters), Dean obtains inner peace within all the turmoil he is bound to carry throughout his life; to roam the earth and indulge in it, in its vices and virtues alike. God and The Darkness were never The Good and The bad, for Choice is both – but rather Spirit and Matter. The Darkness is an advocate of the Matter (as we actually get a glimpse of her, enjoying life among humans in the beginning of S15). God is the advocate of the spirit. Darkness!Dean may as well be that random entity that stirs things a certain way to its liking or approval. He may be the Judge and Executioner of those he deems unworthy of creation: him being fully responsible and overprotective of humanity being met with the power to intervene, would be a sight to behold.

And God!Sam? Will be there to answer your prayers and give you a long-time-coming guidance; an entity that advocates autonomy and free will, out of a sense of great purpose and love. An entity of eternal compassion and forgiveness. You can atone your sins before The Darkness, you may serve in Hell for your sins, but it is God's forgiveness you may need to enter Heaven. God!Sam and Darkness!Dean would care enough to negotiate with The Empty for all the souls there, to properly purge them, to give those souls new purpose, as part of creation, be it via reincarnation or raw energy. God!Sam may even remake Heaven in his image – where angels are working hard to help, to guide and protect, Castiel by his side above, Rowena bellow. Darkness!Dean would take it upon himself the cleansing of Purgatory, making it habitable for outcasts, for Darkness!Dean is the one to take in the most lost souls and finding them a place. The various creatures of nightmares and loss and pain would be slowly taken care of; one by one. A harmonious balanced creation may also mean that negativeness like ghosts are inevitable. But the way they are taken care of could be addressed by these newly formed prime entities, and it may be a better way.

But that's a whole other story.

...Oh and the Blackout? Is from Chuck's perspective. This is the ultimate Death of The Author, after all.

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On a personal note, after writing this out, I feel it is too cheery and is a happy ending with an actual stories that might follow and now I suspect that this theory won't hold on the show... Not enough peace.

I suspect Sam gives up his life to annihilate Chuck, and Dean commits suicide. Billie collects their souls, for keeps forever. That would be the other only way to stick it to God and obtain eternal peace. But. Who knows.

Or, S16 is a go for some strange reason, and Sam kills Chuck and takes over as God!Sam but is nowhere to be found, and Dean scouts the Earth and Hell and all of the Heavenly Host with his amulet around his neck hoping it will shine in the presence of God.

-The End-

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: The Rupture

So I'm off to a cranky start with this one before the episode even properly kicks in.  These writers think the audience's memory for canon is just as shitty as theirs, so they feel it's necessary to outright spoil Rowena's death via the content of the previouslies.  Let literally anything come as a surprise in this show anymore?  Can't let it happen!

There's like, the one scene where Dean is trying to make Sam feel better about Rowena … and that's about all I wholeheartedly enjoyed from this episode.  Well, beyond the usual of the actors doing their best with what they were given no matter how dumb it was.  Such a talented cast to waste on ... this.

I think the writers were trying to do an in media res type start here, with them already on the way to try a new thing?  The problem is, like so much else in the show now, it feels like a no-effort cheat because we didn’t see them work for it or even get an implication they did.  Oh, they had literally no idea what to try next last episode and made it out to be a big deal?  No problem, they pulled a spell out of Rowena's ass and came up with a plan to implement it since last we looked.  Even ending the last episode with Rowena saying something along the lines of, “I just might have an idea” would make this work so much better for me.

And seriously are they out of money to pay extras and get new sets?  The group makes their way through the ghost-infested area without a single sign of any angry ghosts until they're in the same old crypt where the show can have “ghosts” bang on the door without having to show any people-shapes. 

Rowena declaring they're all going to die would have a lot more impact if significantly more people actually stayed dead on this show for more than a hot minute these days.  I admit I found Rowena's meltdown a little over the top, but then again, that is a little unfair because I think it makes sense for the character to be so.  She's both generally inclined towards dramatics and used to being able to cut and run when shit doesn't go her way, but with allies she actually cares about and the whole world in danger, that's not really an option.  Understandably distressing.  

Then we have Dean yelling at Rowena and angrily stocking up on bullets to again, fucking futilely shoot at the ghosts because … oh, right.  This episode was written by Berens who seems to think Dean is nothing but an idiotic angry bully.  Die mad nobody wanted to watch your shitty cardboard MarySuefest, you little bitch. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh, no!  Sam is out of ideas!  Remind me what ideas he actually had? Like, I'm not digging at Sam, I'm digging at the stupidity of that line and that I suspect this season is going to give me whiplash with the Winchester hokey pokey of angsty fatalism.  I genuinely think it makes sense for Sam and Dean to alternately bolster each other when the other one starts to lose hope.  However, when they seem to switch randomly at the drop of a hat, it feels more like drama for the sake of drama rather than being particularly realistic or interesting.

Since the spell Rowena arbitrarily pulled out of her ass didn't work, now it's time for an equally arbitrary McGuffin to come up!  Yay.  That said, I am actually willing to give a bit of a pass on this one. While it's absolutely absurd that Lilith would have needed an item to control demons (controlling demons was not a problem until the writers were desperately out of ideas of what to do with Crowley)? If the actual purpose is to suck up the power of all those demons, I can buy Lilith having a device for that.  (Although what was demon guy gonna do if Rowena’s first spell had worked, since the crook thing only calls souls/demons back from Earth? Edit: They go with his plan because they’re desperate, they’re unlikely to agree to a dubious demon scheme if the ghosts are no longer on the verge of breaking free.)

Oh, and can't forget, there's also another spell!  Because apparently in coming up with the first one, it was in no way necessary nor did it apparently seem like a good idea to actually inspect the ghost-belching hell-hole.  Uh-huh.

Then we have the part where Sam is apparently witch-like now, because ??? I really don't need Dabb's crew of morons trying to turn Sam into as much of a joke as Wayward/Jack with random abilities falling out his ass.  Both Winchesters have cast minor spells all along, just say Rowena likes him better since that's true enough.  That would involve not taking any given opportunity to arbitrarily make random shit up, though, and these writers can't have that!

It's almost funny how hard they try to talk up Dean's part in this, which is to sit by a hole with a bag and toss it in.  Oooh, so dangerous! Except for the part where we see later that there was literally no danger because the ghosts completely ignored him.  Aside from that one line about Chuck being a glorified fanboy, why is Dean even in this episode?

Though at least that's not as pathetic as Castiel's dirty diaper faces. This is about saving the world, you giant baby - you're older than humanity, grow the fuck up. Seriously, do the writers genuinely believe the repeat of Castiel getting talked into being a dumb asshole by some rando is sympathetic?  It's really, really not, because all I'm hearing is a bunch of undeserved self-pity seasoned with a hefty dash of hypocrisy.  

Almost as annoying is wasting our time with the bullshit of Ketch's death. Look, I really don't care that he's dead.  He should have stayed dead the first time.  What I can't stand is that these writers are so nonsensically obsessed with “redeeming” antagonist/villain characters by having them change who they are for absolutely no reason so they can have a “heroic” death.  And this was sloppier and more transparent that most.  Oh, the demon can conveniently read Ketch's totally genuine noble intentions, alas, so sad he dies! Don’t try to tell me that actual, in-character Ketch wouldn’t at least try to pretend to sell them out to outmaneuver random demon #7692.  The only way I’d buy this is if he has another get-out-of-death-free spell of Rowena’s in play - and I don’t actually want any more unnecessary resurrections so I also hope that’s not the case.

And why bring that other demon into things, you ask?  So we can have a brief demonic power play, with demons fighting over ruling hell. Because that is in no way stale as fuck.  I guess the idea is that it needs to be there so demon guy reveals his master plan in front of Cas (and it has to be spelled out that blatantly because the writers see both the audience and Cas as idiots)?  Except, seriously?  A demon screwing them all over for power? What a completely unexpected turn of events!  Not to mention that I agree Cas' choice here is, as per usual, highly questionable.  Allowing demon guy to suck in all the souls at least gets those souls off Earth.  No matter how powerful it makes him, he's still very much a tertiary concern beyond all of hell's souls getting free to wreak havoc on the whole world and Chuck turning against them. Which is assuming that they actually couldn't have worked with him as the power in hell.  Not like it would be the first time - he may have immediately turned on them, but he also may not have.  If they wanted this to look like it was about Castiel making the smart decision, they really shouldn’t have spent so much time showing him whining and sulking.  As it is, this takes on the implication it’s at least as much about Castiel seizing the first opportunity to take out demon guy for using Jack’s body and not caring about his feeewings as it is about making a necessary or prudent decision.  Not exactly a great look.

There is no connection between Lilith's crook and Rowena's spell to heal the not-a-door-totally-a-wound hell-hole, right?  One is from demon guy’s secret plotting, the other is entirely from Rowena.  She's also not doing the same spell she was before where she couldn't finish it because the ghosts were bangin' on the forcefield thing.  So after Castiel kills the demon guy and stops the soul-suckage … why can't they just finish sealing the hole to stopper up more ghosts coming through and then deal with what's already there?  See if the solidify-the-shield thing can be done now with less ghosties or just use moar crystals?  The jump from something’s gone wrong to, whelp, time to self-sacrifice is extremely fast and unless I missed/forgot something, not an automatic conclusion to come to.

This is why I suspect maybe the meta I've seen hypothesizing Rowena was up to something may be true.  When Sam asks her if she has any ideas earlier in the episode, they show her looking at a page in the damned book and quickly closing it to say no with this weird little music stinger in the background.  If this isn't a fake-out where she makes this “sacrifice” to get the power and takes over hell instead of demon guy, it's just disappointingly bad melodrama that, so far as I can see, has to happen because the script says so. (She wouldn’t even need to have been relying on demon guy’s failure if she just was considering doing it instead of planning on it and then seized the opportunity when Cas killed demon guy.)

When are Castiel's powers not fucking failing?  Seriously.  Again, more Castiel is a sad sack of sorrow and I cannot be bothered to give a fuck.  You want people to trust you and give you the benefit of the doubt?  Maybe stop betraying them and constantly failing to follow through for them - just a thought.