#saresh gets punched

[dirthara-dalen]

Punching Saresh was beyond satisfying. After everything that happened, he choose to ally with the empire. It was strange, he spent over two decades running from the years he spent as a child on Dromund Kaas as a slave and yet... All of his family slowly became sith. Allying with the empire it just felt natural. Besides, it's not like the republic reached out to ally with them.

[shynmighty]

Number 54- what did you do with Saresh?

From these asks!

Okay, so we all know the correct answer to this question is PUNCH HER...but I'll go into what happened along the official Silverblade timeline where Aeony is in charge.

(Obligatory pic of my lovely princess girl)

Aeony did NOT punch Saresh. She has 100% more restraint than every other character in my legacy. Model Jedi. Keeping her in character sometimes means missing out on some of the sassier, or more cathartic options, unfortunately! She has a bit of a stick up her ass.

Ultimately, Saresh was lectured at length by Aeony (lectures are her strong suit) and she was imprisoned on Odessen. For some reason, the paperwork to review her sentence keeps getting mysteriously/conveniently misplaced. Such a shame.

[queen-scribbles]

Who are your 3 least favorite Swtor companions and why?

heh heh hoo boy. Details behind a cut so people don't have to read me venting about potential faves in a couple cases, but tl;dr is Kaliyo, Skadge, both of whom I strongly dislike, and either Vik or Lana(not nearly as strong).

1.Absolute hands down least favorite is Kaliyo. I legit hate her. She's self-centered, vindictive, and thinks it's funny to ruin people's lives. I literally won't even talk to her any more when I play Agents. She spends the ENTIRE GAME with a little yellow triangle over her head bc I refuse to engage. I did her convos/quest with Jaaide, my first Agent, up til the Anspi'shel thing, then stopped when she wanted to sell Anspi'shel to a life of slavery or worse bc it'd be funny revenge for some not-nearly-deserving of That "transgression". Jaaide wanted to punch her in the face and never spoke another word to her the game didn't make me. I watched her romance on youtube and it did her no favors. AND THEN we get to her presence in KotFE. Making all of Zakuul suffer bc of what their leadership did? Outright terrorism? I wouldn't recruit her ever if you didn't have to. The way I always do ch 12/13 is telling Jorgan to destroy the GEMINI signal and then telling Kaliyo to stay put. Which she ignores, and gets Havoc killed. And then refuses to accept responsibility for it. ("If they're so good, why are they dead?" Hmm, maybe bc you were throwing thermal detonators in an enclosed space????? THAT MIGHT'VE DONE IT) She usually dies there, unless I'm trying to keep the toon 100% light side, and there's a few that got through there before I figured out how you get the option. *Sidenote: makes me love Jorgan even more that he disapproves if you kill her. He can't stand her, is currently furious at her bc she got his team killed, and he still thinks executing her is Too Far for punishment. Honestly, if there was a Jail option like you get for Saresh in KotET, I'd do that instead of killing her. But I'm not letting a vengeful, psychotic anarchist who knows the location of my secret base just LEAVE, and I can't let what she just did go unpunished, so death it is.

2. Skadge is... Skadge. The threatening to shoot you and steal your ship if you don't agree to let him come along? Yeah, all my Hunters were ready to shoot him and dump him in the lava for that alone. BUT I will talk to him for the xp, so he's slightly less hated than Kaliyo. Still kill him in Rusk's alliance alert though /cough

3. Okay so this is a sharp drop off from the other ones. Kaliyo and Skadge I actively dislike/hate, this one is much more.... barely wavering to the negative side of neutral. Vik annoys me and I wish we could have Fuse if he was alive instead. He's selfish, and way too willing to throw away other peoples' lives for his personal gain.

Lana I don't hate, or feel strongly about at all, it's just... between her Developers' Baby plot armor so she doesn't die(like Koth, Theron, and Senya can) or lose anyone important from her life(like Theron can *glares at WFI and JUS*) and her "Whatever you think is Best" attitude, I'm not crazy about her. I don't like Yes Man companions in general(why I like Carver better than Bethany in DA2), so anytime we get someone who's just blindly supportive of the player character they rub me the wrong way. It's more a problem I have with the archetype than her specifically. (Not to mention the numerous things she's a hypocrite about) I don't mind her as a character or roll my eyes and groan when I have to talk with her, and I'm even running her romance on a couple toons(it's AMAZING with a smuggler). She's just not my favorite.

[cinlat]

Blood in the Breeze: Ch 5 (Betrayals)

Parts one and two of this series linked.

Summary: Fynta learns that Dromund Kaas is a creepy planet. Theron experiences a truly, furious Cathar and decides that he’d rather stay on Jorgan’s good side. Torian isn’t used to being caught off guard, but can’t seem to keep up with how often Fynta dies, oh, and he should probably stop betting against Verin.

Chapter Word Count: 6,057   Chapter Rating: T Characters in Chapter: Empress Acina, Fynta Wolfe, Aric Jorgan, Theron Shan, Lana Beniko, Torian Cadera, former Republic Chancellor Saresh, Zolah Holran, Vector Hyllus, and guest appearance by @kunoichi-ume​ Noara Starspark

The Thunderclap En route to Odessen

Theron didn’t usually follow Fynta to her room, but with Aric returning to their quarters with a headache and the meeting with Acina having gone to shit, he had pulled Fynta away to touch base on matters. Namely, how they planned to handle Saresh once they reached Odessen. 

“You can’t shoot on sight, Fynta,” Theron called to the stubborn woman ahead of him. Fynta had gotten fed up with the impromptu meeting and announced that she was going to take a nap. However, Theron wasn’t done arguing. “It’ll destroy morale for the Alliance to see their commander—” 

Something shattered against the wall, halting both Fynta and Theron for a heartbeat outside her door. She moved first, rushing open it while Theron readied his blaster even though he knew that they were alone on the ship. Only Lana had traveled with them, and she was piloting.

Stepping in, Theron swept the room for hostiles before settling on a haggard looking Cathar beside the rumpled bed. It didn’t take long to identify the source of the sound. A lamp lay against the wall, broken into three pieces with the bolts that had held it to the desk still clinging to pits of wood and metal shaving.

“Aric?” Fynta hurried to her husband, cupping his face to check for injuries. Theron hadn’t gotten used to seeing the Cathar with his rough eye patch yet. It made him look more feral than usual, unhinged even. The snarl that he answered Fynta with only solidified that image.

“Did you know?” Jorgan growled the words, teeth dangerously close to Fynta’s throat. Theron would never get used to that, either. He’d always thought Fynta was the more dangerous of the two, but the hatred in that pale, blue eye made Theron question his earlier assumption.

Find the entire chapter on Ao3 or FFN.

[plotbunny-bundle]

Bunny plays Ziost

part one

Wow. I am amazed once again with the physical world building of the planet. There no point or rewards for saving civilian but I can’t help but do it. The people wear a lot of different clothes. You see them running and hiding. New Adasta seemed lived in. I’m seeing a lot of pureblood Sith. But also, a number of aliens.

I’m also getting in character emotions! I love when that happened. I expected anger but that not what I’m getting from my Knight. It’s a bit helpless fear and sadness. Not for himself but for the people here. The republic will kill so many people. They will make things worse and shot down the evacuating ships and Mordra turned off the defenses. The republic is going to attack a bleeding imperial planet and he can’t stop them. He can’t save these people because he has to stop the Emperor. And that hurts because every life he saves on the ground might be taken by the republic. It hurts because the republic is breaking what the Jedi stand for (or at least what Mordra thinks they stand for) and he can’t stop them. They’re feeding Vitiate and attacking people who are already suffering and calling it justice and “humanitarian aid” and Mordra can’t stop them.

And the worst thing is before Mordra was a Jedi he was imperial. He spent a portion of his childhood on Ziost. I have not checked my math but he could have been born there. He’s watching his home town suffer. He’s not attached anymore and it’s been over a decade but he knows there are civilians here. This isn’t a base. It’s a planet. It’s the home of logistic and art. Not trade and military like Kaas City.  

So Mordra is upset he can’t save his former home from his own people. And I learned why we can punch Saresh.

[keldae]

Writer’s Month 2020: Day Nine

It was with a herculean effort that Xaja managed to pry her eyes open, feeling like every muscle in her body was made of lead. She was all but radiating heat, and while she normally disliked being cold, right now, this was hellish. Her chest ached, like there was a bantha sitting on her -- she tried to breathe, and wound up doubling over while coughing, which made her lungs hurt worse.

“Easy,” spoke a gentle voice over her head, as a large hand settled on her back, soothingly rubbing through her thin tank top. “Take it slow, babe.” Xaja felt a kiss against her forehead as her coughing slowed down somewhat. “That’s it…”

“Theron?” Xaja groaned as she fell back into the pillow under her head. Her gaze finally focused on Theron above her -- her blurry vision didn’t hide his worried expression, or the dark lines under his eyes, or the way his normally perfectly-styled hair seemed to have been neglected. Why the hells did talking hurt too? “Wha… what happened?”

Theron seemed to relax a bit on hearing Xaja’s voice, hoarse and scratchy though it was. “You gave yourself a hell of a bad case of pneumonia, sweetheart.” He offered her a small smile as he reached down to touch her forehead; his hand felt so blessedly cool against her skin. “Hmmm. Still not quite over it -- you’re still running a fever.”

Xaja frowned, trying to think back. How in the hells had she come down with pneumonia? “... Dromund Kaas…?” She could at least remember fragments of that, and fighting her way through the cold, rainy jungle with Empress Acina and… oh. Yes, she had fallen into a river, hadn’t she? Acina’s use of the Force had pulled her back out before she could drown, but apparently she still had the side effects to deal with. Had she inhaled some of the water before being yanked back to the riverbank?

“Yep.” Theron sighed and pulled his hand back. “Not sure how much you remember of that, but apparently running through a Kaasian thunderstorm, going swimming in a river, and picking fights with a pack of assassins doesn’t agree with your immune system.”

Xaja made a face, and heard Theron’s snort of amused agreement as she tried to think back further. “... How long?” she finally asked.

“You passed out maybe an hour after we got Saresh locked in the brig -- and I do mean passed out in the most literal sense of the phrase.” Theron’s eyes darkened in a frown. “That was about a week ago. This is the most awake you’ve been since then.”

An entire week? No wonder Theron looked so worried and haggard. Xaja fumbled around on top of the blanket over her until she found his hand and squeezed. “Status?” she croaked out.

“Figures, you would be worried about that.” Shaking his head, Theron twisted his hand in hers to squeeze her fingers back. “We’ve been trying to keep news about how sick you are on the down-low. Sorand took over while you were out, and he’s gotten an agreement set up with the Empire for supplies and transportation. Saresh has been in the brig since, and the Republic’s officially stated that they’re not in a hurry to have her back.” For a moment, the spy grinned. “And she’s still got a black eye. Nice punch you gave her, babe.”

“Learned from the best,” Xaja whispered, and got a smirk.

“Glad you were paying attention during those hand-to-hand trainings.” Leaning down, Theron kissed her forehead again. “Otherwise, things are still pretty much normal. How are you feeling?”

“... Hurts,” Xaja quietly confessed, watching Theron frown again. “Chest, throat, head... all hurt.”

“Hmm. I can believe it. And you’re still pretty feverish.” Leaning to the side, Theron grabbed a glass of water, then slowly slid his hand under Xaja’s back to help her sit up a bit. “Let’s get at least some of this in you, and then you’re going back to sleep. You’re still really sick.” 

Xaja couldn’t argue that point, not when every muscle in her body ached and she was fighting down another cough. It was a good thing Theron was there, when she was all but leaning entirely against his chest to stay somewhat upright, and felt too weak to hold the glass by herself. It was a relief to feel him finally laying her back down -- how could the simple action of sitting up and sipping a glass of water make her so tired and dizzy? Perhaps she was more ill than she had suspected. “Stay?” she whispered as she groped around for Theron’s hand again, already feeling darkness creeping back over her vision.

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” The mattress dipped as Theron shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through Xaja’s matted hair and sending her into a tailspin of sleepiness. “Go back to sleep, sweetheart. You still have a lot of healing ahead of you.”

“Mmmph.” Satisfied that she wasn’t alone, and that she was perfectly safe under Theron’s watchful gaze, Xaja felt herself slip back into unconsciousness, guided by the gentle stroke of his hand through her hair and the soft sound of his voice quietly singing over her head.

[haledamage]

thinking about how much Forgiveness and Second Chances has ended up being a big theme for Vesiya and how her story is playing out. Over and over again she gets betrayed, and over and over again she chooses forgiveness.

She rescues Fuse. She tries to spare Tavus. She lets Vik go and lets Kaliyo stay. She lets Senya leave and save Arcann, and later lets Arcann join the Alliance. She spares Lorman and Saresh (she did punch Saresh though, that was pretty satisfying)

People tell her time and again “if you let them live, they will hurt you again, they don’t deserve mercy” and she says “no. I won’t win like that. this is the line I’m drawing” and more often than not she’s the one that ends up proven right

[lesbiannova]

I have been thinking about Saresh hate in the SWTOR fandom, have come to realized how different the SWTOR fandom treats Vette compared to Saresh, despite the fact that both Vette and Saresh are Twi'lek women who were slaves when they were young, and both have no love for Imperials (which is completely justified).

The main differences were that Vette is younger, a companion and romance option, while Saresh is visibly older and is neither a companion nor a romance option.

Vette is a fan favourite in tumblr SWTOR fandom, while Saresh don't get any of the "must protect at all costs" sentiments fandom directed at Vette, and instead fandom uncritically join SWTOR’s narrative in demonizing Saresh, painting her as a warmonger and dictator, and cheer on how they can punish Saresh by punching her, imprison her or killing her in KotET.

I love Vette as well, but I dislike the double standards on how different fandom treats Vette compared to Saresh.

On a related note, it also pisses me off no end that the Empire fandom/anti-Republic crowd in the SWTOR fandom are so gung-ho about giving the Empire and Imperial characters more "depth" or "nuance" than what they are in canon, yet they never bother to do the same to Saresh for even a second, and they love to use Saresh as a proof of how the Republic is Actually Bad.

You cannot convince me that Saresh hate has nothing to do with the fact that she is not only a woman, a woman in authority position, but is also visibly older and heavily coded as a woman of colour (Twi'lek women are coded as WoC in the Star Wars universe since they’re consistently portrayed as an underprivileged species, and Saresh also has physical features that are commonly seen among WoC, specifically her big nose and thick lips).

(To Saresh haters: This post is NOT an invitation for you to argue about why hating Saresh is justified. If you cannot see a Saresh post without arguing that, do not bother interact with this post)

[honekitteh]

Fic: Countdown - Chapter 8

Fandom: SWTOR Pairing: Theron Shan/f!Jedi Knight Rating: M Genre: Angst, H/C, Romance, Canon-Typical Violence, Humor,  Canon-typical levels of poor decision-making Synopsis: A distress call leads the Jedi Battlemaster to Ziost, but time is running out.  Follows the storyline of The Rise of the Emperor and inserts missing scenes.   Author's Notes: Thank you to @storyknitter​ for giving this chapter a once over.  You have no idea how much that means to me! Warnings: See Chapter 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 |  Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Crossposted to AO3

Theron Shan was talking to his mother on the holo as I entered the room, I stayed slightly out of view and allowed him to finish.

“Understood.  Thank you.”  He shut off the holo and gripped the edge of the console, looking down. “Thank you…” he murmured.

“What was that about?” I asked cautiously, hoping to not have an accusation in my voice.

He looked defeated as he responded.  “Master Surro.  She went catatonic for a while—now she’s responsive.  Not in the greatest shape, but they say it’s promising.”

Without really thinking, I found myself responding, “She knew the risks going in, Theron.  You have to remember that.”

“It’s one thing to know it’s true in your head…”

I nodded in understanding and glanced down as the memories of everything I’d done while under the Emperor’s influence years ago flooded to the surface, the feeling of the dark side and reveling in it and its power.  Every so often, these feelings would wash over me like it was yesterday, just yesterday when I stopped and snapped to reality before I saw Kira strapped to that torture device.  The nightmares still haunted, lurking behind my conscious thoughts.  Up until the death of Ziost ran over me like a rampaging bantha, the memory had faded, replaced by more pleasant memories.  But the nightmares remained… infrequent, but never truly gone.  

For a brief moment I remembered telling him of my own experiences with the Emperor.  How gentle his hands were as he cradled my face as I spoke to him about it.  How soft his voice was in that moment.  How the breeze blew around us over the Yavin cliff, leading to the jungle below. Leading to where I had needed to go. How I wished to stay in his arms at that moment.  How I wished to be in his arms now, but I could sense his own exhaustion.  He was right… it is one thing to know it’s true in your head.  I didn’t want to point out the fact that she is going to have to live with those nightmares for the rest of her life, no matter what healing they could give her on Tython: he didn’t need more guilt on top of what he already had.  

Another burden I will bear.

He had turned to face me and continued.  “Saresh finally saw reason before things got too bad, got a bunch of our troops out of there—still, we lost so many, nevermind the rest of Ziost.”

I tried not to wince as he mentioned Ziost.  Tried to push down the feeling of complete failure that tried to crush me.  This conversation wasn’t about me.  He had his own pain to deal with.  He didn’t need mine too.

He sighed as he continued, “Add to all that, that I found out that Agent Kovach was actually working for Saresh this whole time.”

I looked down and took a deep breath. “I know.  I overheard him talking to Saresh back on Ziost.”

Theron growled, “You did?” I involuntarily winced.  “And you…” He stopped, looked at my face and then sighed looking down.  “Makes sense I guess.  It… It wasn’t the best time to sort all that out.”

“I didn’t intentionally…”

“I know.  Sorry… this has been rough for all of us, I guess.”

“What’s Kovach’s status now?”

Theron shrugged. “Far as I know, he’s still pretending to work under Lana and reporting to Saresh. Anyway, it’s all out of my hands now. Suppose I shouldn’t even be here, technically.”  I tilted my head as he explained. “Saresh and Master Satele weren’t all that excited to find out I had a team of black ops Jedi on call without their knowledge. I’m on administrative leave—indefinitely.”

I frowned. I understood the reasoning, but Theron wasn’t really the sort to be very comfortable sitting on his hands and doing nothing.  “Forget about the SIS.  I could use someone like you at my side.”  As soon as the words left my mouth I almost cursed myself.  Well that isn’t awkward at all.

He chuckled, looking slightly grateful, but instead responded, “I’m sure.”  He paused for a bit and I wasn’t sure if he noticed my slight fidget.  “Growing up, I had an idea of who and what I would be.  In a lot of ways, that didn’t happen, but in the ways that matter…” he looked up at me, offering a small smile.  “What I’m saying is, I belong with the SIS.  I’m not throwing in the towel.”

I nodded, then thought for a moment.  “Why don’t we pay a visit to the station cantina—for old times’ sake?”

Theron picked himself off the console he’d been leaning on and walked towards me.  “I’ll have to take a rain check, but…”  He reached out, cupping my face with warm, calloused hands, and kissed me softly.  I hadn’t realized he wasn’t wearing his gloves, so the touch of his skin on mine startled me before I eased into the sensation of his tongue lightly brushing against mine as our mouths were merged.  I sensed his exhaustion and untreated injuries and understood.  As he pulled back, he smiled at me, and lowered his voice and rested his head on my forehead, “I might be persuaded another time.”

I fought against the small ache I felt, the one that didn’t want him to let go.  How at that one moment I longed to just stay right here, or perhaps just with him, in his arms.  In some sort of odd sort of safety that I didn’t truly expect to feel.  I didn’t really want nor need much more than just this.  But the time was not right, not for either of us.

We parted; his fingers slowly lingering as they brushed my arms as he pulled away.  He gave a weak smile and turned, walking towards the door and then paused to look up at the ceiling.  “I should have reached out to you sooner,” he continued.  “Whatever’s next, whatever insanity comes our way… I won’t make that mistake again.”  He looked back to me.  “May the Force be with you.”

I watched as he left the briefing room on Carrick Station.  Another time I might have taken a glance downward to appreciate the view. However, all my training couldn’t hold back the dampness that began to pool in the corner of my eyes.  His guilt, while I tried to encourage him otherwise, reflected my own.  I turned and braced my hands against the holo console, where his had once been.  And for the first time, since… I honestly cannot remember if it was some point after that first failed attempt against the Emperor or a little more recent than that… but perhaps the first time in quite a long time… I allowed myself to cry.

After a time, I turned to leave the room, ignoring a nagging sense that I wasn’t alone.  I ran into a wall of Theron Shan, standing awkwardly out of the door, who then proceeded to wrap me tightly into a hug.

“I thought you had to go?” I choked out.

“I do, but that Sith was insistent... I get it now.  I’m sorry.”

I wrapped my arms tighter around him, burying my face into his chest, “Don’t…”

He ran his fingers lightly down my back in a continuous motion.  A few times I felt him about to speak, but he didn’t for a time. Something beeped on his wrist and I felt him sigh heavily.  “Raincheck… I promise…” he said and kissed me on the forehead.

I just nodded and let him go.  He offered a weak smile and motioned for me to head out first.  As I did, Lord Scourge was just standing at the outside of the lift, waiting, staring at Theron with an unreadable expression.

“Right,” he paused, staring at the Sith pureblood in his way.

I sighed, “Let him go, Scourge.”

The older man gave a glance to me first, then looked back at Theron.  He slowly stepped aside, but did not lose eye contact with the younger man as he slid past.  Theron gave me a slight wave and a small smile as he punched in his destination in the lift.

“You didn’t need to do that… I am fine…”

“First, Jyana, you are a terrible liar.  Second, you need to take care of yourself.”

I pursed my lips, looking at the elder Sith.

“Third, he needed to look past himself too.”

“Do you feel your point was made?” I raised an eyebrow.

“For now.  We will see.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose.  “Let’s get going.  I have a feeling Master Satele or Saresh have an idea of where I can be useful…”

I could sense a slight bit of distaste from Lord Scourge as I mentioned the Chancellor, but he did not argue and we took the lift and headed back to the Defender.

“I wondered if I’d find you here.”

I looked up from my meditation perch on a bench in front of one of the many waterfalls near the Jedi Temple on Tython.  Grandmaster Satele Shan stood behind me, her hands behind her back, face serene yet kind. Grey specks had multiplied in her brown hair since the last I’d seen her.  “I suppose I have gotten predictable when I’m on Tython,” I responded and looked back towards the waterfall.

“Everyone needs to find peace on their own time.  This seems to be yours.”

I nodded.  Looking up at the waterfall, I sighed softly. “Change is annoyingly difficult.”

“There is some peace in predictable routines.  Some things don’t need to change.”

“True enough.”

She allowed silence to linger for a few minutes.  I closed my eyes to just listen to the water as it flowed into the streams below. It’d been a few months since Ziost ceased to be a living world, and though the nightmares still lingered, they no longer occurred every night.  I took a couple trips back to Rishi, going to Master Orgus’ old house and trying to remember the paths that he had suggested I take.  Help people out, do the little things.  Heal the sick, fix people’s technology so that they don’t get flooded, tiny little things I could do.  I kept my ear to the wire though.  Tried to follow the reports as they came in.  Any hints that another Ziost was in the works.  But there had been silence.

It wasn’t as if Theron had access to that information to forward me right now as it was.  Not that he’d reached out to me either.

“The anger seems to have passed,” the Grandmaster said softly.

“There is little need to dwell on what cannot be changed,” I sighed a bit.

“To which do you refer: The Chancellor or Theron?”

I shrugged.  “Both.”

“You disagree with his punishment.”

“It isn’t my place,” I said shaking my head, “I am more concerned with the blame he places on himself.”

Satele tilted her head curiously but remained silent.

“If I could take his burden from him, I would.  But it will make him stronger.  A better man, I think.”

“You care for him,” she responded softly.

I took a deep breath. “I know what he’s going through,” I deflected, “I bear similar scars I feel.”

She studied me in silence for a moment.  “Some scars are necessary.”

“It is our scars that make us.  Our pain, our regrets.  Our joy, our sorrow.  What is, is. What will be, will. We cannot turn back time, and even if we could, would we truly make different decisions?”

Satele shook her head. “No, we wouldn’t.”

She turned to look over at the waterfalls I had been focused on.  I wondered for a moment if she was fishing for something, choosing to stay where she was.  I didn’t allow myself to dwell too much on that and opted to return to what I had come here to do.  Close my eyes, focus on the sound of the rushing water, and let the tranquility of the moment wash over me.

Sometimes, in stillness, in quiet, one can find peace. With all my training, meditating at a temple just made me restless.  The quiet produced a pounding hum that drowned out my own calm, while the white noise provided by a waterfall gave me something to focus my mind on.  Soothe the shaking of my knee that the Masters always had commented on:  A prodigy at combat but she couldn’t stay still with meditation.  Once I had discovered waterfalls on that world, it had become easier.

It was hard to think of Master Satele or Master Orgus as younglings with youngling restlessness. I never felt they would truly understand me now.  But maybe they would.

What I would give to hear his reassuring voice again.

Or at least, just a hug.

“Attachments can be dangerous.”

Though my eyes were closed, I could not entirely control the twitch my right eye made at Master Satele’s quiet words rang through my mind.  I opened my mouth and closed it.  The quick response originally coming to mind would not be helpful, so instead I took a deep breath and opted to say nothing.  I tried to clear my mind to the flow of the water over the rocks, as opposed to the rushing torrent between my ears, threatening to turn my cheeks red. I had no way to be sure what she was talking about, no way to be sure if she meant Master Orgus, who I had been thinking about at the moment of her words, or on Theron.  She didn’t need me to snipe about how she didn’t really have much of a right to lecture me about feelings for her son.  I definitely did not need that either.  I simply needed peace.

“He cares for you,” stated Satele, with a slight push to her tone.

I opened my eyes slowly and gave her a side glance.  Her eyes were closed, as if she was attempting to focus on the waterfall as well, or some other item that gave her peace.  I took another breath in and then out, slowly, trying to relax my own heart.

“Jyana,” she spoke firmly.

“I came here to find some peace and some focus,” I sighed heavily, “Not to hear a lecture about the Jedi Code or some concerns about ‘Attachments.’”

She sighed a bit.  “No lecture.  Just concern.”

Emptying myself of emotion never worked for me.  My eyebrow twitched in slight irritation.  I tried to soothe my emotions so they didn’t radiate out my sleeve as others did.  But I didn’t like the concept of denying my feelings or emotions either.  I felt if I denied how I felt — however it was that I did — that would be the easiest thing the Emperor could latch on and pull on me. It was just as much of a slippery slope as embracing them or letting them fuel me could be.

But while I could express my slightly controversial thoughts on emotions to myself, I wasn’t really sure how to articulate them properly out loud.  As well as I probably was overthinking the implications that I would be putting upon the Grandmaster herself.  She had a son.  She had some feelings for Theron’s father to at least get to that point.  She’d also had decades of practice of cutting herself out and shielding her own feelings from showing.  Whether she took time to herself to let herself feel whatever it was that she did in privacy or not, I had no way of knowing.

But what I could tell was pretty evident:  She was concerned.   For her own son.

Master Satele frowned slightly, but did not speak.

“How is Master Surro’s recovery?” I asked softly after a few minutes of silence.

“Slow, but there has been progress.  Have you tried to speak with her?”

“I offered, but I remind her too much of her failure.”

The Grandmaster nodded. “In time.”

“She knows how to reach me should her decision change.”

She nodded in response as well and looked back to me.  Whatever it was she had considered saying, she didn’t end up speaking aloud.  It was difficult to read what was going on in her thoughts through the Force, but that was perhaps by design.  She just gave me a curt nod and then walked back to the Jedi Temple.

I looked back towards the waterfall, closing my eyes again.  Trying to focus on the whirlwind of the water instead of the whirlwind of dust upon the Ziost surface in my mind.  Trying to focus on the peace and calm around me as opposed to the frantically growing louder beeping at my side.

Beeping at my side...

I blinked and looked down at the beeping and blinking holocomm.  Tilting my head at it as I looked at the sender, I opened it.

“Hey,” Theron Shan appeared, scratching the back of his neck.

My heart skipped a beat. “Theron?”

He offered a small smile, still scratching the back of his neck and giving a glance to the side before looking at me directly through the holo. “About that rain check?”

[chubbyooo]

😪 - did they ever convince someone to do the hard work for them? 👊 - did they ever punch someone? 🤷 - did they ever ruin something they couldn’t have out of spite? for Kavaara

ooooo very interesting :D

Kavaraa has convinced people to do hard work for her in the past but only because she is doing something she deemed more important or urgent

Kavaraa has punched someone, it was Saresh, because Saresh is a bitch a B I C T H :P

Kavaraa isn’t very outward spiteful so never really wanted to ruin anything out of spite she does get jealous but never goes that far

Thanks for the ask :D

[cole-saberhagen]

My head hurts, that was a lot of info to process.

SWTOR Nathema spoilers under the cut.

- Finished it on my main Merc Dief who’s neutral-sided, going to run it again on my DS Warrior Altaire and LS Consular Philippe to see the differences. Maybe not today, that might be overkill.

- Now I know what they meant when they said Theron fans would be happy! That was a lot of fast moving content but considering the time that’s gone by it was actually paced well.

- Nathema looks cool, when can we go back to Ziost? :(

- I missed one of those goddamn bonus treasure chests and I couldn’t be assed to run back but it still bugs me.

- think there was supposed to be some tactics on the bosses but my Merc had enough gear for me to just stand there and mow them all down without moving too much. I get the feeling with the droid there was def meant to be but she died before I finished destroying the chamber things. Oh shit all the people in there are gone now?? I do feel for the people of Zakuul, they’ve been crapped on since the beginning of this hot mess.

- I’m an asshole for picking the sarcastic/money-grubbing option on Dief when Saresh’s lover said she hoped I enjoyed the money or whatever. But I knew that character for 5 seconds and Saresh tried to kill him, so, justified tbh.

- Should have fraps’d some of that on my main Merc’s playthrough since we can’t repeat the solo mode (as far as I know) but I never end up watching those anyway. I have 15 other characters to do it on eventually including my new Powertech who’s the same character.

- I picked the marry Theron option on my Hunter just because. I still don’t know who I officially pair him with out of my characters. I just automatically pick the romance option each time. Only time I really regretted that was with my Warrior. Because I pair him with my Hunter Dief. Who’s also kinda into Theron. Kinda marrying him too now I guess lol. It’s complicated?

- There’s 2 ways to opt out of the Theron romance now which I’ve been DYING to do on my Warrior for the longest time. I didn’t expect a death option. I don’t know if I can do it but it’s certainly a permanent way out lmao. I guess I would have just gone with that option until I saw the next cutscene where you can just reject him.

- Altaire won’t be satisfied without a death so I could just kill the ponytail guy I keep forgetting the name of and reject Theron. Everyone else is dead though on my Altaire playthrough that you can kill apart from Koth (where is he?) I just COULDN’T, I just punched him instead for the sweet sweet DS points. So I like the idea of being consistent and seeing the difference in playthrough. It’s a pretty empty playthrough tbh, biggest difference is no Arcann cutscenes.

- Is pony tail dude voiced by Quinton Flynn too?? he did Indo Zal (RIP now I guess??), Hunter and various others. It kinda sounded like him. They use him as a VA a lot in this game.

- Dang RIP my superweapons. That’s one way to get back to Imps VS Reps. I’m kinda ready though on most of my characters. Altaire not so much, he’ll cling to his last scrap of Alliance power till the very end :(

- I guess a Makeb style of new expansion with actual planet exploration, not solo corridors, and some new M/M content that isn’t Theron Shan, is too much to ask for now, but I can dream.

[dirthara-dalen]

A part of him wanted to kill the minster as he refused to enslave him. Vilkas decided to give him another chance, that is, to live under surveillance. Getting back to Odessen was the most important thing. Any news of his death would most likely be refuted by Ligastar as he would know if he had died.

Now punching Saresh was very satisfying but not as satisfying as seeing the expressions on Theron and Ligastar's faces as he had Saresh arrested. He only agreed to ally with the empire after Ligastar encouraged him to do so.

[greyias]

:O Grey took a DS choice?! I figured I knew exactly which one she took. I had to go back to your live post and double check. (I missed it when you posted it. Curse you job that helps me pay for swtor. And also food and rent, I guess.) Yep, it's exactly the one I thought it was.

I know, I was a bit surprised when I got to that scene too, but yeah... yeah she did. Such a long-running perfect streak of goodie two-shoeness ruined -- I mean she didn’t even punch Saresh--

--but she totally killed Vinn Atrius, and she’d probably do it again if she had the chance. 

She wasn’t exactly in the best mental state after six plus months of this traitor nonsense (or however long it’s been since Umbara, that was a little confusing), the heartbreak, and feeling isolated with apparently no one believing or backing her up in her blind unwavering faith in her idiot spy boyfriend. Then this jerk who’s whining that she dragged them into a war she had no choice in either goes and stabs her disaster spy in the back, and he’s barely clinging on to life? Yeah... that was the last straw.

I mean, there was that whole “turning the galaxy against the Alliance” and “bathe every planet in fiery death” thing going on too, but the possibility of losing Theron after just getting him back combined then the irrational fear of Vinn somehow escaping imprisonment and trying to finish the job kind of made her snap. It was a choice purely motivated by fear, and well... we know where that path leads if it doesn’t get reigned in.

I’ve got a feeling it’s something she’s going to grapple with for a while (and she’s definitely got a bit of a complex when it comes to DS decisions after Chapter 2 of the Knight storyline), so a nice long vacation before 6.0 launches is probably what she needs to get her head back on straight. She’s technically not part of the Jedi Order still, but she’s walking a tight-rope at the moment, and is going to have to come to terms not only with what she did, but also the fact that she’s still gone way past the “attachment” stage with Theron, and at this point there’s really no turning back.

[nayci]

26, 37, 51, & 54 for the OC of your choice!

I have things in my ask box! :D26: Do they have any vices?Aeryvana doesn’t, at least, not intentionally/consciously. Aemyva has way too many skeletons in her closet regarding death, destruction, and making things go boom! And I’m still learning about Phaeydra. 37: Did they tell their crew to flee or stay when Marr’s ship was under attack?All three of them told their crews to get out of dodge before they were killed. And also, in all three cases, it was a matter of them not wanting their friends killed. 51: Be honest; did they destroy all the Star Fortress?Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. No, not yet. 54: What did they do with Saresh?Aeryvana punched her face and imprisoned her ass. Best therapeutic punch ever. Aemyva gave her a new way to breath, no fucks given. And Phaeydra hasn’t reached that point yet. I’m actually at SoR with Phaeydra right now, screen recording everything for funsies! lol Ty for throwing these at me!

[keldae]

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction? 39. What is you greatest strength as a writer? 28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of? 20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

ALL the questions!! :D

50. The year is somewhere around 2001-ish. The Return of the King is in theatres. 12-year-old Kel and her bestie have taken a running leap into Middle-earth and are completely in love with Legolas Thranduilion. They’ve been left unsupervised on a computer and are scouring the Internet for anything and everything connected to the Lord of the Rings, and find a site (... I want to say Moon Books? Green Books? Something like that?) with a bunch of stories on it that weren’t written by JRR Tolkien/Peter Jackson/anyone else official. The stories are enthralling to two impressionable young would-be-elves (and both of us were shipping Faramir/Eowyn to the MAX. Jawa’s very first OTP!).

Fast forward to late 2008/early 2009. Kel is in Grade 12 (senior year of high school), and having established her reputation as the class introvert, takes to spending her lunch periods in the library on the computers. With Facebook being blocked by the school servers, she idly starts looking for those same LOTR stories. It is then that she learns of the term “fan fiction”, and winds up tripping and falling into FFN’s LOTR archives, and the rest, as they say, is history. (My very first fic wound up being a *le confessional sigh* dread Girl-Falls-Into-Middle-Earth Tenth Walker story. But I think, despite the hardcore Legolas crush, the character started gravitating toward Boromir?)

39. Oooooh. Hmmm. I’ve been told by professors/other grown-up readers that I have a very strong voice, and my writing style tends to be pretty consistent (and one of my sociology profs always got a kick out of reading the dry wit and snark I’d throw into my papers. Like at uni grad she was eager to meet my mum and see just where I had learned to write like that. XD). As far as fic goes, I’ve been told I’m an emotive writer and seem to be good at conveying emotions and feelings and making readers cry! I’m working on the descriptive skills and writing out combat. :D

28. I would probably say Drastic Measures, since that’s my biggest project that’s eating my soul right now. There’s some one-shots that could inspire an artistic mind though -- The Orgus Maneuver and Memento Mori are the ones that come to mind. (It’s not published yet, but @andveryginger and I, with @corey-067‘s help, have been writing out Reanden and Mairen’s wedding, and that’s another one I could see art for!) As for what the art might be -- for Drastic Measures, I’m not sure! I’ve had a WIP on the backburner for aaaages of Theron and Xaja escaping the Spire, but there could be scenes from them fleeing Rishi with Doc, or on Dromund Kaas, or Voss, or something. (Not gonna lie, I would loooooove to see art of Jace punching a hole through Saresh’s desk. >.>)

20. Ooooooh, good question! I gotta think about this for a minute. >.>

Believe it or not, I was not expecting the Theron romance in Shadow of Revan to hit me out of left field like it did. Initially I had played Xaja through that story like “it’s an NPC like the ones on Makeb where you’ll never see them again so meh”, and that lasted until... Manaan? So yeah now Theron/Jedi Knight is my biggest current OTP. XD 

I’ve come to the realization that Jedi Consular/Zenith is a fantastic ship (BIOWARE, LET US ROMANCE ZENITH) and I dig it. :D I also like unconventional pairings -- @kunoichi-ume‘s Jedi Knight/Torian is a delightful ship that I would never have imagined, but I dig (and may have inspired Korin/Kira over in Taerich’verse!). 

Outside of SWTOR... hmmm. Thorin/Bilbo in the Hobbit was not a ship I had ever even got a whiff of in the book, but the movie version had me shipping it hard. And when I started casually watching Fairy Tail, I wound up shipping Lucy/Leo. And I’m rather digging a Poe/Rey ship in the SW Sequel Trilogy!

[inkspot-fox]

20 and 21 for Jedi Kat, Sith Kat, and Sikai?

(I had misread the original ask meme and answered a question in my usual fashion instead of from the character’s POV, whoooops, so these ones are done correctly at least. Ahaaa...)

20. Are there people in this world who, no matter how much time and penitence is given, should never be forgiven?

Jedi Kat:“I... guess? I...look, I’m a big believer in the idea that you can make up for your mistakes if you work at it. I don’t hold with the idea that people can never change. That’s not... that’s not how people work. But I guess... having said that, I know there’s some people that I’d never, ever be able to forgive. The pirate captain for one. I mean, he’s dead, I fucking killed him, but if he wasn’t dead and somehow changed... yeah I couldn’t move past that. Same with Vitiate. Fucker ate entire planets, and that’s probably one of the more minor things he’s done. No amount of atonement earns forgiveness for that. In part because I wouldn’t trust him to ever actually mean it. And... yeah, child molesters go on the list as well just as a rule. So I guess there’s more on this list than I’d thought there would be.”

Sith Kat:“Motherfucking slavers. Yes, I’m thinking of That One in particular, and if I ever find him again (and I will, I will), it won’t fucking matter if he’s changed or whatever. I’ll rip his heart out his damned throat with my bare hands if I have to.”

(Note: This isn’t actually true. Kat thinks it’s true, because Sith Kat allows his anger to vent much more freely than Jedi Kat. But if he were to find the captain and he really had changed, and had, say, a family that depended on him... Kat would be the better person and just let him go)

“And yeah, it extends to slavers in general. Fuck them. I don’t care if one of them ‘sees the Light’ or whatever, I don’t even care if they, in their change of heart, decide to work against slavery. That buys them their continued existence, not my forgiveness, nor I expect the forgiveness of anyone they’ve sold into slavery. So yeah, slavers. Child abusers, too. Certain individuals at the Sith Academy (I won’t give names or the Overseers will know I’m talking about them). Actually a lot of the fucks in Dromund Kaas, too--maybe I should stop talking.”

Sikai:

“Hmm. Slavers, rapists, anyone who intentionally harms children...these are not people. They have forfeited basic sentient rights, much less the right to forgiveness. Tch. Besides, the question is flawed; the right to forgiveness lies in the hands of the victims, not the perpetrator.”

21. Are there people in this world you simply think the world would be better without? If you could erase them out of existence without physically murdering them, would you?

Jedi Kat:“V I T I A T E. And to be quite honest, I think it would actually take mystically erasing him from existence for it to finally stick, because physically murdering him sure as fuck didn’t work. So that’s number one. The biggest. And there are others, sure... I mean... yeah, okay, I’m really not a fan of Saresh. I get her reasons, she has every right to feel the way she does, but for fuck’s sake, she’s going to get us all killed. Though there’s got to be a better way than ‘erasing her from existence’, that just doesn’t sit right with me. We’re a Republic for fuck’s sake. On a larger scale... I mean, pretty much the answer to the last question you asked. Slavers. Child molesters. Rapists. People like the ones who set up the fucking Belsavis Speciest Death Matches For Science. Shit, there’s a lot of people in this world who make the galaxy a much worse place. Probably a lot of the people in power in the Empire. Warmongers, speciest fucks who punch down. And would I? ...for the worst of them, yeah, yeah I would.”

Sith Kat:“Oh where do I fucking start? Slavers, boom, all of you fucking gone. And yeah, that includes pretty much everyone in Vowrawn’s sphere who stands in the fucking way. Yes that includes you, Vowrawn. (Stars, why the fuck do I like you, because fuck your entire sphere). Shit, you can pretty much just take my answers from the last question and just... insert them here.

Except for Captain McLightningFace. Him I want to deal with personally with my own two hands.”

Sikai:“...yes.” 

*pause*

“No, I will not elaborate. If I were to elaborate, then your recording devices would have to be destroyed and I would be obligated to rip your memory from your brain, and I’m not certain you would be quite the same afterwards. Moving on.”