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the-chaotic-neutral-pansexual · 3 years

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Planned Works/Ideas for October

Hello everyone, as I mentioned previously I’ve been working on some stuff. I also have been feeling very inspired as of late and will be writing some more. I wanted to get this October started off right so here is a list of some things that will be coming your way hopefully sooner than later. I don't feel comfortable giving exact dates because as I've mentioned before certain factors can cause my writing schedule to be sporadic (also why I will not be participating in kinktober) Since some ideas are more developed than others his list will be separated into three categories:

Full ideas

People/characters who will be getting works

Ideas/tropes that I want to write about

Let's Begin!

First up here are the fully developed ideas that are in progress.

Yoon Hyunsuk (Cix)

Nerd!Hyunsuk x Popular!reader (college au)

The tall, shy, handsome, boy who sits behind you in every class you share has a secret. Like many other people on campus, he was hopelessly in love with you. It began three years ago, freshman year, and every day it only got stronger. Over the years this has led him to do some… questionable things he's not a bad guy by any means he's just an awkward college boy in love. At first, it was innocent just sitting behind you in classes that you shared. He hoped that this would give him some time to gain some confidence to talk to you while still remaining close to you. He really didn’t mean to begin eavesdropping on your conversations or reading your texts over your shoulder, he just wanted to learn more about you before he approached you. But as time went on the worse he got from smelling your hair to following you around campus to lurking your socials to finally finding your dorm room. He told himself that he was just trying to return a jacket you left in class so he racked his brain for all of the information he “gathered” and remembered your room number. It was just supposed to be a quick drop off of the jacket he played out the scenario in his head a thousand times. knock on the door, tell you he picked it up when you forgot it, give it to you, and leave. But, when he knocked on the door it opened slightly you weren’t there but you left it cracked indicating that you would be back soon. The change in circumstances caused him to panic and so he decided to just go in and drop it on your bed as opposed to waiting at your door for you. As soon as he fully entered the room the door closed behind him and after folding your jacket placing it on your bed he goes to leave. Turns out you left your door cracked for a reason, he twists the knob and pulls with all his might but he can’t get it opened. The door jammed and he’s stuck in your room. Before he even gets the chance to panic he hears you right outside the door.

Request

Klaus Mikaelson (TVD/The Originals)

Cursed!KlausxSoulmate!Reader

Klaus kills a woman. Unbeknownst to him, this woman was the soulmate of a powerful witch. In revenge the witch curses him vowing that the day Klaus finds his soulmate they will be made immortal but their soul would be removed leaving an eternal one-sided soulmate connection where Klaus is completely connected to them ( can only love and desire them, unable to hurt or kill them, able to see their thoughts and feel their emotions/pain.etc) but they have no connection to him. The witch finally takes the only reverse to the spell to the grave with him and his wife leaving nobody else to break the spell. The story will center around an interesting toxic yet slightly romantic relationship between Klaus and the reader where over years they are continuously on and off again. Klaus does everything to get the reader to love and stay with him and the reader uses this to their advantage. When they’re together its great but when they’re apart things never go well. In the end, the reader can always leave him but he can never leave them so he takes any measure to keep them by his side.

Choi Soobin (TXT)

Sub!SoobinxDom catgirl!reader

The Cat Owns You Part 2

After returning home from the café Soobin you’re finally able to transform. Now being human you keep up a nice façade for the evening eating dinner and watching television peacefully. Having you around for these few hours has him believing he made the right decision after a while he took you to your room before retiring to his own for the night. He drifts off to sleep happily thinking that he found a simple way to fix his loneliness issue a cute catgirl who resides in the room beside his. Nothing could have prepared him for what would happen a few hours later. Waking up to feel his hands and legs in an uncomfortable position he tries to adjust himself but he can’t, opening his eyes to look he realizes that he’s tied to the 4 sides of his bedpost. Before he can question what’s happening he sees you making your way toward him with the collar he purchased earlier in your hands. You notice that he’s awake but continue on fastening the collar around his throat before positioning yourself to sit on him, straddling his spread body “(Y/N) what’s going on” he asks trying to sound stern but it comes out as more of a whisper as the reality of his situation really begins to set in affecting his body in a way he didn’t expect. “Shhh don’t worry I’ll take care of you” you whisper in his ear sending a shiver through his body. Every second that passes he can feel his resolve fading he knows that he wants whatever is about to happen and soon he won’t be able to say no you know this too. He quickly yet unconvincingly rushes out “ no you can’t do this” causing you to chuckle “ Yes I can, I can do whatever I want you signed the papers” before he can ask what you mean you continue “I own you”

Up next here are some muses that I will be writing about once I find the perfect ideas for them:

Garou (Genshin Impact)

Nejire Kamado (My Hero Academia)

Mina Ashido (My Hero Academia)

Shoto Todoroki (My Hero Academia)

Kazutora Hanemiya (Tokyo Revengers)

Choi Beomgyu (TXT)

Choi Chanhee (The Boyz)

Jeong Jaehyun (NCT)

Park Seonghwa (Ateez)

Wonho (Soloist)

Sunmi (soloist)

Sana (twice)

Beelzebub (Obey Me)

Loki Laufeyson (MCU)

Buckey Barnes (MCU)

Hela Odinson(MCU)

Wanda Maximoff (MCU)

And finally here are some ideas for works (I’m thinking of making a proper prompt list but for now you can request any of these ideas with a muse from above and I will try to fulfill it. Just make sure to specify what type of story you want (fluff, smut, angst, general hcs, drabbles, etc):

Reader is an evil sorcerer and the muse is their loyal familiar

Reader is a succubus and muse is a charge that keeps summoning them

Reader is like Hades and muse is like Persephone

Female Knight reader saves prince muse

Criminal reader goes yandere for normal muse

Opposites attract the big, scary, cold reader and soft cute muse

Muse who is a twitch streamer by day and a camgirl/boy by night

Reader is a Sugar mommy and muse is one of their many sugar babies it starts off fine but then muse falls in love and wants to be readers only one

Dom reader x fem switch muse x sub male muse

Ruler reader x harem

Reader is mean to everyone but muse

Smart tsundere reader dating clingy affectionate himbo/bimbo muse

Fem Joker type reader x male Harley type muse

Reader is an engineer who finds robot muse and fixes them

Vampire queen reader and yandere muse servant who wants to be readers walking blood bag

Hero reader saves muse from a yandere and muse becomes yandere

Demon reader x angel muse

A muse who keeps trying to kill a reader that they don’t know is invulnerable reader knows muse is trying to kill them but doesn’t stop them because they think it’s cute.

#dom!reader #sub!idol #sub!kpop #cix fluff #cix x reader #hyunsuk x reader #sub!cix #txt x reader #soobin x reader #sub!soobin #catgirl #the vampire diares imagine #the originals #the originals x reader #klaus mikealson x reader #upcoming #wips #yandere scenarios

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atiny-dazzlinglight · 3 years

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Kinktober 2021 Masterlist

The following list below is gonna be my list for this years Kinktober. Due to my current work schedule and just life, I’m not following a list this year for Kinktober and will just be coming up with my own spicy prompts for this October. I plan to make this year’s Kinktober as inclusive as possible, so there will be female, male, nonbinary, gender neutral, etc., readers for everyone to enjoy. The last day is just something for me and my moots that loves my ocs just as much as me, so I’m gonna indulge and if y’all like it, then y’all do *shrugs* Also, threw in some pairings from our rp server for some ✨spicy✨

I plan to make this a masterlist and have it on both this blog and my multi blog @/sweetsweetkpop and will update it all as often as possible. You to be tagged in any works? Fill out my form here and please be 18+ for my nsfw stuff (which is all of these).

Stuff for @atiny-dazzlinglight is marked with 🌊

Stuff for @sweetsweetkpop is marked with 🍬

(^Copy pasta it from fie cause it feels more organized~^)

Day 1: Blowjob- Byeongkwan x Sehyoon 🍬

Day 2: Pegging- Switch!Jiwoo x switch!male reader 🍬

Day 3: Size Kink + Aftercare Manhandling- Bang chan x gender neutral reader🍬

Day 4: Suspension Play- Hwanwoong x Leedo🍬

Day 5: Size Training + Knotting- Dragon!Seonghwa x Hongjoong🌊

Day 6: Leash & Collar- Jaebeom x Wonwoo 🍬

Day 7: Face Fucking- Jongho x male!reader🌊

Day 8: Food Play: Ten x member🍬

Day 9: Spit Kink- Yoongi x Namjoon🍬

Day 10: Toys- San x Felix 🍬🌊

Day 11: Puppy Play- Sub!Mingyu x dom!Jeonghan🍬

Day 12: Gagging- Yunho x gender neutral reader🌊

Day 13: Femdom & Edging- Sunwoo x fem!reader🍬

Day 14: Double Penetration- Wonho x reader x Shownu🍬

Day 15: Face Sitting- Soft dom&Fem!reader x Sub!Minghao🍬

Day 16: Overstimulation- Seungwoo x Hanse x Subin🍬

Day 17: Creampie- Dare Gone Good Reader x 99liners🌊

Day 18: Exhibitionism & Orgy- Omega!Changkyun x Beta!Jungkook x Alpha!Johnny x Omega!Yoongi🍬

Day 19: Mutual masturbation- Omegas!Wooyoung x Felix 🌊🍬

Day 20: Spanking- J.Seph x gender neutral reader🍬

Day 21: Daddy Kink- Yugyeom x reader x BamBam🍬

Day 22: Squirting- Vernon x fem!reader🍬

Day 23: Cuckholding- Lou x reader x Ayno🍬

Day 24: Free use Kink: Mingi x Ateez Members🌊

Day 25: Somnophilia- Jaemin x Jeno🍬

Day 26: Scissoring- Somin x fem!reader🍬

Day 27: Bondage: Yeosang x reader🌊

Day 28: Thigh Riding- Wonho x Seungcheol 🍬

Day 29: Anal Play- Doyoung x Taeyong 🍬

Day 30: Body Worship- Wonho x Chubby!reader🍬

Day 31: Wild Card- Dean x Theo (Ocs of mines)

#dee writes #kinktober #kinktober 2021

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prettywordsyouleft · 3 years

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Out Of The Shadows - Part 15

Summary: Singing was the only thing that kept you breathing. To Kihyun, you were too talented to step away from. And by a cruel twist of fate, because of him, you became a singer - except you only sang in the shadows.

Pairing: Yoo Kihyun x female reader

Genre: idol au / angst / drama / romance

Warnings: Y/N has a serious injury, and ongoing implications from it that might trigger some people. In this part: cursing, scandal aftermath, slight awkwardness from a boner, and light mentioning of wonho.

Word count: 2699

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Final

Stirring from his slumber, Kihyun was temporarily confused by the added warmth along his side. As his brain grew more alert, and he chanced the morning sunlight that he knew was shining through the gap in his blinds to crack an eye open, last night began to form in his head again.

You had stayed over.

Although he was still struggling with how destroyed you were all night after your fight with Nina, Kihyun had to admit that waking up next to you could be something he’d like to do more often. A lazy smile crossed his lips as he took in your messy hair, one arm flung over his chest whilst the other was reaching to the headboard. As he worked his sharpening vision down the rest of you until the blankets cut you off midriff, Kihyun started to rely on feel. Your legs were tangled in his, one knee nestling rather close to what he realised could potentially be embarrassing for you to wake up and find.

Sure, it was human biology, but having his girlfriend discover a morning wood before he’d even been intimate with you wasn’t high on his list to tick off just yet. Scooting free from you, Kihyun slipped out of the room and into the bathroom, showering for the day and brushing his teeth before returning to his room. The apartment was still silent, and Kihyun wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

For once, he didn’t want to be an idol. Just a guy who happened to have a girl he harboured some really strong feelings for in his bed. Responsibilities and schedules be damned. If he could, Kihyun would stay here all day and just watch you.

Which, with a small chuckle, he realised sounded kind of creepy.

Just as he eased back onto the bed, you stirred, and Kihyun was simultaneously disappointed and anxious to see how you’d react to waking up here. You blinked slowly, stretching your body a little before letting your gaze stop gliding around your surroundings when you found him.

And then you smiled.

“Well, I think I might have just died a little,” he mused, grabbing at his constricting chest as you sat up and patted at your bed hair mindlessly.

“Died?”

He nodded solemnly. “Being the first person to see that smile of yours for the day was an honour. And the fact that you’re wearing my clothes…”

“I swear, it’s too early for you to charm the pants off of me, Kihyun.”

He grinned wickedly. “You don’t have any pants on right now.”

“Sinful man,” you muttered behind a hand that you tried to hide your delight over. Scooting closer to him, you leaned your head on his shoulder. “My head is pounding.”

“That’s what nonstop crying does to people,” he murmured, brushing a concerned hand to your head. “Thankfully, you’re not sick. There’s no fever there.”

“My skin hurts, though,” you confessed with a sigh. Looking at his face, you pouted. “Sorry. I doubt the last thing you want is to hear me complain so early in the morning.”

“The last thing I want is you hurting,” he corrected, brushing his lips against your forehead before reaching for the nightstand. He had fed you a pain reliever before you fell asleep last night, and the bottle of pills and water had remained there. Silently, Kihyun assisted you with taking the medication before scooping you up in his arms.

“I’m not hurting anymore,” you said into his neck, and Kihyun laughed softly. “What? I’m not.”

“Medicine doesn’t work that fast.”

“Your touch does,” you replied, wrapping your arms around him and nestling in. “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Everything you did last night. I… I shouldn’t have called you.”

“No. You should call me. I’m your boyfriend.”

“You’re Yoo Kihyun too,” you whispered, and he groaned internally.

“Still your boyfriend,” he persisted, and you nodded.

“The best boyfriend.”

“Now that I can get used to hearing.”

“How about seeing this instead?” a new voice asked, and you both turned to see Minhyuk standing in just his PJ bottoms holding out his phone. Kihyun took in the pale expression of his friend before accepting the phone he held out.

You went rigid in Kihyun’s arms.

Minhyuk let out a wild laugh. “Yoo Kihyun consoles Starlet’s manager? What a title.”

“How… I didn’t see any…”

“A fan spotted you get out of your car and went to film you. She was going to ask for an autograph until you picked Y/N up and stood there holding her. A whole minute of you just holding her was captured on that film, Kihyun. And then you were caught kissing her forehead too. Dispatch are pissed that some school-aged fangirl got the scoop before they did.”

“This is not needed right now,” Kihyun warned in a strained voice.

You tried to get out of his lap, but Kihyun held you still. “Kihyun, I better go.”

“No, you don’t.”

“You’re in trouble because of me now.”

Minhyuk cursed. “This situation only gets worse.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, and both men looked at you incredulously. “I’m not trying to make you annoyed with me for apologising like some weak little victim. I didn’t think about the consequences last night when I called you. I didn’t think to wait until we were somewhere private. After everything I’ve been taught about idol—”

“You know the shittiest part about all of this?” Kihyun interjected, still staring at the video on the screen. “It’s not that I’ve been caught in a scandal. It’s that they think so poorly of you. That you’re Starlet’s manager. If that ain’t the kick in the gut of it all.”

No one said anything after that.

The scandal was handled swiftly by the company. Some excuse was given that didn’t sit well with Kihyun, and he had endured more than enough screaming from higher-ups to make him numb inside. The only thing that mattered was that he had been told to avoid you at all costs.

It didn’t sit well with him.

Still, he knew he had to ride out this storm, and giving more ammunition to the firing squad would be foolish.

When the door to his studio opened, Kihyun looked up desperately. “Did you get to see her?”

Changkyun nodded. “She’s… coping.”

“Tell me the truth.”

“Terry laid into her. Nina looked scared but was silent when he did so. Y/N is accepting all the blame. I have no idea how she’s going to cope tonight when she has to go home with all the pain from the scandal on top of the Nina stuff.”

Kihyun groaned loudly and slammed his hand down on the desk beside him. “I was the one who knew better. I should have just got her in the car and left.”

“She was crying. You acted like a man in love first,” Changkyun replied, and Kihyun glanced up at him through his tired eyes. Changkyun’s jaw was tense, but he didn’t avoid his gaze. “Last night was hard for me.”

“Hard how?”

“I’ve known that you love Y/N for some time now. Probably longer than you have. But since that day with Terry and I punched you, I don’t know. I’m a little too invested in Y/N. It’s not the same as how you feel. You don’t have to worry about that. I think it stems from Hoseok-hyung. I couldn’t – we couldn’t – do anything to help him. Even when I fought and tried to get management to listen. Watching them be shady with Y/N always makes me want to shield her.”

“We all want to.”

“Yeah, but Nina isn’t a bad person and yet last night I associated her with the likes of Terry. For the things she’s been thinking and saying to Y/N. She has feelings too. God, we all know I’m sensitive to others and how they feel. Yet I didn’t care for her last night. It was hard for me to let you be the only one to fully comfort Y/N.”

Kihyun smiled sadly. “You just went now and did what I can’t. You’re going to be the one protecting her for some time. You heard that they’ve banned me from even going to a toilet near her department.”

Changkyun grimaced. “I got kicked out when Terry spotted me. He went off at me for being there to cause more trouble. I uh, might have told him to go fuck himself.”

Kihyun didn’t stop the laughter that erupted from his hollow chest. Instead, he reached out and fist-bumped Changkyun before going back to the one question he couldn’t seem to answer.

What now?

“Today’s your lucky day,” Joonhyung said to Kihyun when he walked into the main Monsta X studio, smiling at him broadly.

Kihyun didn’t understand how it could be. He’d been on a communications lockdown with you for three weeks now. If Minhyuk hadn’t managed to get Nina’s phone number the other week, he would have gone completely insane. Knowing that you were doing as best as you could and that things with Nina had been spoken out and mostly resolved was the only thing that kept him going right now.

“Lucky how?” Hyungwon wondered, shooting Kihyun a worrying look.

“Management has decided on a duet for Kihyun and Starlet.”

Jooheon spluttered out his drink. “What?! How does that even make sense? Sure, the scandal has mostly blown over now, but putting them together again doesn’t sound right.”

“I don’t care,” Kihyun said, standing up immediately. “I get to see Y/N, right?”

“Well, not unsupervised. It’s just for planning and recording. I doubt you’ll have overlapping sessions if Terry has anything to say about it.”

“As long as I get to see Y/N,” Kihyun repeated, picking up his coffee cup and gesturing for the door.

Joonhyung told him which studio to head to, and he briskly made his way there, his heart thudding in his chest. Kihyun didn’t understand how he could go from uncaring to this alert so fast, and it was somewhat overwhelming to bounce back from the emptiness he had been experiencing of late. He hadn’t been tardy or thrown a fit once. Instead, he turned up to every schedule and did what was expected of him. Nothing less, nothing more.

Fans had noticed, though. He wondered if they had petitioned over you and him as they had with Hoseok.

Knocking on the door, he waited for it to open before entering, his gaze darting around the space until he found you. Stopping mid-step, Kihyun raked his gaze all over you. Whilst he hadn’t expected you to look a mess, he was surprised to find how well kept you were too. It was almost as if you had the same response as he had for all of this. To give no one room to fault you on anything else.

He smiled knowingly, and you mirrored it.

“Terry’s running late,” one of the staff member’s mentioned, glancing to the other in the room. “I reckon we ought to get some coffee, so he’s not raging when he gets here. You two will be alright for five minutes, right?”

Kihyun grinned and nodded once. There were some hidden gems still working for this company, after all.

Once the door was shut, Kihyun placed down his coffee and took a step closer. “Can I?”

“Why are you even asking?” you breathed out quickly, falling into his arms that you beelined for.

It was so familiar and foreign at once to take you in. Holding you as tightly as he could without harming you, Kihyun inhaled your scent, refamiliarized himself with your soft curves, and noted the subtle changes to your body. You felt rounder than the last time he held you, and he was relieved not to find the opposite. You’d also cut your hair, and he liked the change.

Mostly, Kihyun just liked holding you where you belonged.

“I was told today would be the only session I have with you,” you mentioned into the skin on his neck and then sighed. “The rest will be with Nina.”

“What?”

“The duet will be a live performance,” you continued, and he pulled back to take in your bleak expression. “The most you’ll see of me that day is waiting for you behind the stage.”

“Do you feel as if Terry scheduled this to punish us? Because that’s what I’m starting to think.”

You shrugged, attempting to smile. “Hey. At least we’ll record a song together. And if this works, I’ll get more duet opportunities. Sewoon will be screaming from the rooftops in euphoria.”

Kihyun shook with laughter. “As long as I get the first one.”

“You’ll always be first to me,” you told him, diving back in for another hug before stepping away.

You were both a picture of complete professionalism when Terry walked into the studio and remained that way for the whole planning and recording session. As you had mentioned, any follow up moments were recorded separately, and then Kihyun was scheduled time with Nina to set up the atmosphere of the performance. The song, Out Of The Shadows, which he felt was ironically named, was a power ballad that highlighted both his and your singing strengths. Outside the pressure of everything going on around him, Kihyun loved it. He’d listened to it more times than he cared to announce and couldn’t wait to unleash it on the world.

At least, the digital version of it.

Because it was a ballad, there wasn’t much need for practising with Nina. He would have his spot on the stage, and she would walk out to meet him just after the first chorus. It was mostly him teaching Nina how to look absorbed in him as they sang, the right way to act during the song, and when to allow the music to overwhelm her. She also had to appear as if she was the one belting out that exceptionally high note with him before the last chorus.

And so far, she had failed every time.

“It’s not that hard, is it?” he wondered, and Nina glanced at her feet before nodding.

“I don’t know what it would feel like to sing so boldly. Most of those moments in our songs are the ones I don’t perform.”

“But surely you know how it feels to belt out a note or two, Nina. You auditioned to be a singer.”

Nina chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m tone-deaf, Kihyun.”

“So?”

“So, I can’t sing.”

“You can sing,” he remarked, and Nina shot her wide-eyed gaze to his face. “Everyone can sing. I bet you sing in the shower.”

“Well…”

“So just belt it out.”

“What?”

“Right now. I’ll replay it. Just sing it out loud so you can feel how it overtakes you,” he urged, and Nina shook her head. “Why not?”

“Ever since I got told I’m a horrible singer, I don’t do it out loud anymore.”

“I’ll kill him,” Kihyun muttered, referring to Terry, before going over to Nina’s side. “Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re horrible. We all have the ability to learn. To improve. Instead of being told what you’re good and bad at, Terry should be encouraging you to try. But because he’s an asshole, allow me to be the voice of reason. You don’t deserve to sit in the mold he put you in. Yes, this industry is cutthroat, and I’ve heard and been told things that are soul-destroying. I was useless at dancing, did you know? I’m still not the strongest in my group, but I’ve improved because I tried. Now, you try.”

“This will be embarrassing,” she admitted but nodded once. Kihyun went over to replay the song and pointedly closed his eyes, so she didn’t feel any scrutiny on her when she started to sing.

He worked on keeping his face schooled to neutral as her voice cracked offbeat but opened his eyes to watch Nina take the note. She threw herself into it, and Kihyun grinned. “That was a perfect reaction to how you should hold it on stage. Let’s work with this, shall we?”

_________________

Part 16

[MONSTA X Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

#kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #kihyun fiction #kihyun fanfic #kihyun angst #kihyun romance #kihyun au #monsta x fiction #monsta x fanfic #monsta x romance #monsta x angst #monsta x au #pwyl; out of the shadows #kpop fiction #kpop fanfic #kpop romance #kpop angst

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iibonniee · 3 years

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Posting Plans for the week of December 20th through December 24th

Despite being really really bad at keeping these, giving myself a week in advance to write these all (a majority of them are close to being done so I'm not too worried) should give me time to keep a decent schedule.

The stories with word counts are finished and are waiting in a queue to be published on the specific date and time. Once I'm fully done with a story, they will have their word count up (I'll re-blog this post when its updated btw), and depending on the smut, the warnings in advance.

I also really tried to write for some that don’t really have too much attention on my page. Each member deserves some attention, whether it’s small or not.

Christmas eve is going to be pretty packed when it comes to the stories, as well as each smut that is labeled to written for. I do apologize for all the drabbles seen. It really helps when I want to post something, but I don't want to make the stories over 1k.

Just a friendly forewarning, Minhyuk's Christmas one shot will see itself reaching over 4k words. I’m really not sorry about that.

As a friendly reminder, requests are open. For those who’ve requested something I’ve seen them and they’ll be written in the upcoming days.

Below the cut is next week's posting schedule. This week will be spent as my writing period.

Monday, December 20th, 2021

Changkyun drabble (Word Count: 436. Post time 8:00 a.m. EST)

Chanyeol smut one shot (Word Count: TBD Post time 10:00 a.m. EST)

Minhyuk one shot (Word Count: TBD Post time 12:00 p.m. EST)

Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

D.O drabble (Word Count: 585. Post time 8:00 a.m. EST)

Jooheon smut one shot (Word Count: TBD Post time 10:00 a.m. EST)

Jooheon one shot (Word Count: TBD Post time 12:00 p.m. EST)

Kihyun smut one shot (Word Count: TBD Post time 2:00 p.m. EST)

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2021

Sehun drabble (100 ways to say, "I love You". Word Count TBD. Post time 8:00 a.m. EST)

Baekhyun smut one shot (Word Count: TBD Post time 10:00 a.m. EST)

Part 5 of "Public Adventures" (Word Count: TBD Post time 12:00 p.m. EST)

Wonho smut one shot (Word Count: TBD Post time 2:00 p.m. EST)

Thursday, December 23rd, 2021

Suho one shot (Word Count 1.2k. Post time 8:00 a.m. EST)

Lay drabble (Word Count: 335. Post time 10:00 a.m. EST)

Chanyeol smut one shot (Word Count: TBD Post time 12:00 p.m. EST)

Xiumin smut one shot (Word Count: TBD Post time 2:00 p.m. EST)

Friday, December 24th, 2021

Jooheon Christmas special (Word Count: TBD. Post time 8:00 a.m. EST)

Kai Christmas special (Word Count: TBD Post time 10:00 a.m. EST)

Minhyuk Christmas special (Word Count: TBD Post time 12:00 p.m. EST)

Chapter Two to "Hate You" (Word Count: TBD Post time 2:00 p.m. EST)

Shownu drabble (Word Count: TBD Post time 4:00 p.m. EST)

Saturday, December 25th

Sehun Christmas special (Word Count: TBD. Post time 8:00 a.m. EST)

Hyungwon Christmas special (Word Count: TBD Post time 10:00 a.m. EST)

Kihyun Christmas special (Word Count: TBD Post time 12:00 p.m. EST)

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lunar-girl-fic · 3 years

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Perfect Girl~ Wonho Oneshot

Warning: Suggestive, mention of dying?

Y/N POV

Word Count: 1591

Wonho x female reader

Disclaimer: The picture used is NOT MINE. I found it on instagram from the artist @bre.lexis. You guys should totally check out her art. It’s my favorite ambw art :).

A/N: I based this one shot based off a dream I had the other day. It felt so freaking real like I even felt the kiss and for some reason that only happens when I dream about him and I. Some scenes were added but this pretty much how my dream went. I wasn’t able to find a photo that matched how I imagined Wonho and a brown girl. In the dream he was literally the same size as he is now and he was wearing that orange shirt from is live the other day... Anyways I hope you all enjoy!

It was a rainy Friday night. You had just left your coworkers at the restaurant you guys went to to celebrate the assistant principals birthday. You called an Uber to get home. Normally you would walk but you weren't in the mood to be catching a cold. The ride home wasn't too long since you obviously lived close by.

When you arrived you thanked the driver and exited the vehicle quickly. However, no matter how fast you ran to the building you still ended up getting soaked. As if it couldn’t get any worse, the elevator in your complex wasn't working so you had to prolong your torture by taking the stairs.

You finally reached your apartment and immediately took your shoes off and headed for your bathroom. You put your clothes on a drying rack over your toilet. You turned the water on to the hottest setting and got in. The warmth of the water was welcomed and washed away most of the stress you've been feeling with work. But stress from the absence of your boyfriend of 4 years didn't go away. It wasn't as if he was in some far away place where you couldn't see or contact him. No, the problem was he was so busy with his comeback that he did not have much time to call you much less visit you due to conflicting scheduling.

At first, you didn't have much of a problem with it since you knew how important his career was to him. But it has been two months and the separation was starting to get to you. Even though you knew you shouldn't complain being lucky enough to even have a man as sweet as him, you were only a human in need of the touch of her boyfriend.

After you got out the shower you put on some mango butter to attempt to smell good while moisturizing and let your curls fall freely. You grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants and put on the smallest sized hoodie Wonho owned. Being thankful he left this one behind since his others would've had you swimming in it.

You left your room and went to the kitchen to make a cup of calming jasmine tea (can you tell I've been watching atla alot hehehe). As the tea was boiling you gathered your students papers from your work bag and placed them on your coffee table. You turned the TV on and scrolled through the options. Finally settling on the 90s batman animated series as background noise.

You went back into the kitchen and poured the tea in your favorite mug. On the way to the living room you grabbed your phone just in case he called you. He may not have called you in the past week but who knows maybe today would be your lucky day.

Time went by smoothly. Surprisingly grading he papers wasn't too difficult since your students actually followed directions. Since it was easy to grade you decided to raise the volume of the TV and pay more attention to the plot of the episode. You were just about to finish grading the last paper when your phone started to ring. Had it not been on vibrate mode you would have never known it was ringing. When you looked at the caller ID your heart went pitter patter. It was Wonho. You obviously picked up the phone immediately with a joyful tone.

"Hey babe! How have you been? How's comeback? How does your shoulder feel? Are you eating properly"

"Well hello to you too baby, and to answer your questions good, good, good and of course!"

"Well that's good. It's been awhile and I was beginning to worry you forgot I existed."

"How can I forget about the shining light of my life."

"I mean with all those beautiful girls around you everyday it's not hard to think you might forget about an average girl like me."

"You're right."

"Wha- WONHO!"

You heard him laughing and knew that he did that just to get a reaction out of you.

"You know I would never. You're the only girl I have my eyes on."

"Hmph could've fooled me. Don't worry I already got my eyes set on another man." You said jokingly.

"Ya! I was joking."

"I know you dork."

There was a comfortable silence after you guys finished laughing.

"When do you think we'll be able to hang out?"

"Soon, I'm hoping. Everything is just so crazy that I barely have time to focus on taking care of myself. I'm honestly so sorry for not being able to call you. You must think I don't love you anymore."

"Wonho, I know I signed up for this when I first started dating you. You don't have to feel guilty for something you can't really control." You said trying to lighten the mood.

" I know it's just that I- I... I just want you to know that. (In Korean) I am the luckiest man in the world. I know you probably think I take you for granted but the truth is I could never love another girl like I love you. You said that you think I can forget about you easily an quite possibly leave you for another girl? When in reality everyday I worry you might just give up waiting for me an find another guy to replace me. You're my driving force in life. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you so much baby girl that I can't even find the right words to describe how much."

"...You know I hate you. I'm pretty sure you probably said the most beautiful words I will ever hear but I guess I will never know considering you just said it ALL IN KOREAN. Babe you know I'm not hat fluent. Now can you please tell me what you said again." You whined.

He chuckled, "I said, I am the luckiest man in the world. I know you probably think- ah forget it. You're making it so hard to surprise you."

"What? How? And what surprise are you talking about?"

"Turn around."

You quickly turned around almost giving yourself whiplash and that's when you saw your man standing there with a smile on his face and his arms opened wide.

"IT'S YOU!! YOU'RE HERE!!!" You said as you ran to him and jumped on him instantly grabbing his head to pull him in for a kiss. You almost cried tears of joys feeling his lips on yours after not being able to even touch in in 2 months.

You pulled away having the need to catch your breath. But you were still cupping his face with your hands, staring lovingly into his eyes. Eventually you went back in for another kiss but jumped at the sound of an explosion that happened in the show you were watching almost falling out of his grip. Wonho laughed at you while he gently placed you down so he wouldn't accidentally drop you.

"Heeeyyyy, why are you laughing? I could've died." You said while pouting.

"Sorry jagiya, you're just so cute I couldn't help it."

"Hmph. Nice to know you think me almost dying is cute."

"Dying? I'm pretty sure falling from that height wouldn't have killed you." He said amused.

"You don't know that. What if when I fell, I could have broken a bone and punctured an important organ and potentially bleed out."

"That sounds highly unlikely."

"Since when dud you become a medical doctor."

"Since the moment I started dating you. With the amount of times I've had to take care of you because of how clumsy you are, I'm pretty sure I can get a medical degree easily."

"YA! I'M NOT THAT CLUMSY."

"If you say sooo."

You and Wonho couldn't help but laugh at the silliness of your conversation. However while you were still laughing, Wonho stopped to stare at you. The love he felt for you overwhelmed him in this moment. He wasn't sure if it it was because he hasn't seen you in awhile or if it was something else but all knew was he just realized how perfect you are. You noticed the look and asked what was wrong.

"Why are you so perfect?"

"I mean perfect isn't the word I would use to describe myself..."

"I mean it baby, what did I do to deserve you?"

"Hmmm believe it or not all you did was be yourself. I tired of guys who were fake and trying to be something they thought I wanted. You are the only guy I met who was himself and that's all I can ask for. Plus your really good looking."

"I do look good, don’t I?"

"You're supposed to say thank you, you ungrateful little-"

"Just kidding." He said as he put his hands up defensively.

"I'm still waiting."

Instead of answering you, he grabbed your face and pulled you in for a passionate kiss, burying his fingers in your curls.

.After 2 minutes you both pulled apart to catch your breath.

"How was that for a thank you?"

"Hmmm I think you have to do that again to make it a proper thanks."

"I can think of a better way that involves a bed and less clothes." He said as he picked you up and carried a flustered you to your bedroom. And lets just say that by the end of the night you he was able to show you just how thankful he is.

#monsta x #monsta x angst #monsta x smut #monsta x fluff #monsta x wonho #wonho smut #wonho angst #wonho fluff #wonho x reader #curly girl #wonho x brown reader #brown girl

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sandiegokpop · 2 years

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The gutz. The ballz. The gall. We're waking up to some news today! Lol Honestly, fully, completely, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I say this w/my full chest, FXCK Starsh*t. Fuckem. They should've all left. I hope he has all his options lined up. It sounds like they've been in discussions over a new contract w/him for a bit & he was not feeling what they were offering. Based on past instances, I don't like how they handle situations & I hate how they manage MX. They really manipulated these guys into overworking for 7yrs & never giving them holiday time longer than like 4 days a year. It was so sad when they mentioned discussing this w/other groups outside SSE & finding out they should be having more time off💔

Kyunnie I hope this decision brings you peace. This means things will be a lil different now. He might have to move out of the dorms & we might not see him as much if he has conflicting schedules w/MX. This happened w/Taec (2pm) a lot. He wouldn't be in some of their content (i.e. vids on their channel not directly linked to promoting an album) but he was always there for the big promotions. I'm curious to see how this plays out!! Now if Wonho could leave Highline we could get some Wonkyun content at the very least.😞😭🙏🏽

#i love that this is a thing now that other idols set a precedent for this #I'm looking forward to all his freeeeedom #i.m #Changkyun #monsta x #sse #starship entertainment #these idols need to change the game companies & fans need to have their behaviors REMOLDED #that's the next step #no more fear of backlash from a company or whack ass obsessive strangers is the future bb

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huihuiheart · 3 years

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Goretober 2021

Navigation

October 2021 Schedule

Please read before continuing: A new fic drops at 1am EST everyday. There will be specific warnings on each fic and below, so you know just how intense each piece will be. Some are more intense, but almost all have themes not safe for all readers! Please consider this a warning!!! If you would like to block all posts regarding that they will be tagged: Goretober 2021

Continuation Requests: 0/3

Key: 💜 - Gender Neutral 💗 - Female Reader 💙- Male Reader

1. Taken Over - NCT - Summary: All they wanted was a relaxing vacation after their busy schedules, not for the city they were visiting to get an unexpected and very unwelcome surprise.......... especially when they couldn’t even find each other. - Warnings: inanimate objects coming to life, chasing, violence, kidnapping (kind of), cursing. - 💜(no mention of reader)

2. Red Nose - Mark (Got7) - Summary: Blacking out at the bar this was the last place that Mark thought he would end up, but now this might be the only place he would ever be. - Warnings: Drinking, spiked drinks, clowns (god I hate clowns), threats, kidnapping, violence, aggression, cursing, knives, blood, stalker themes. - 💜(No mention of reader)

3. Time’s Up - Vernon - Summary: The grandfather clock had been a staple piece of the family decor for decades, never ticking. Only now that it started up again it was going the wrong direction... - Warnings: Kind of apocalyptical themes at the beginning, time travel themes, I think that’s it for this one, lmk if I miss anything. - 💜

4. Price - Wonho - Summary: He had finally found the fountain of youth, but he hadn’t headed your warning. - Warnings: He doesn’t intentionally try to die, but like he does take unnecessary risks, no aging, no death, addiction of sorts, tears, pain. - 💜

5. Below - Jaebum - Summary: You’d never really been a fan of heights, but now it seemed like you didn’t have much of an option but to deal with it. - Warnings: Heights, claustrophobia, elevators, being trapped. - 💜

6. Dreams Do Come True - Hoshi - Summary: He couldn’t shake the feeling of deja vu, but that might just be what saved your lives. - Warnings: Apocalypse themes, guns, chaos, cursing. - 💜

7. Omen - Youngjae - Summary: Everyone told him it was a sign, but of what he just didn’t know. Until you showed up anyways. - Warnings: Birds (yes, this needs to be a warning, some of us don’t do birds okay), witch themes?, semi angsty themes, semi creeper/stalker themes. - 💜

8. Music to Your Ears - Xiaojun - Summary: Music held a special place in your life, and apparently in someone else’s as well. - Warnings: Ghost themes, haunted themes, mentions of drinking (a glass of wine). - 💜

9. Murky - Seungkwan - Summary: Seungkwan knew something was up, but he’d never imagined he’d find his soft spoken neighbor in the mess that they were in and now his fate was in their hands. - Warnings: Murder themes, lots of blood, cursing, crying, kind of kidnapping themes, some yandere themes (reader’s um...ex shall we say), mentions of yelling, dead bodies, crying. - 💜

10. Twins - Joohoney - Summary: Perhaps he was losing his mind...perhaps he just couldn’t see the outline of the mirror...or perhaps he was seeing another of himself...and it seemed like his double was not very happy. - Warnings: Stalker themes, mentions of kidnapping, threats, guns. - 💜(no mention of reader)

11. One Day - Kim Byeongkwan (ACE) - Summary: You’re the only one who knows of his curse, but that doesn’t mean you’ll help him break it. - Warnings: Kind of witch themes? I don’t quite know how else to describe it, curse themes, waking up in another body, cursing. - 💜

12. Stalked - Sungchan (NCT)- Summary: Sungchan was tired of being alone, but he was patient enough to wait for the perfect moment to make his move. - Warnings: Yandere themes, stalking themes. - 💜

13. Breathing - Chanyeol - Summary: What started as a peaceful day shopping together, quickly turned into you not making it out in time. - Warnings: Inanimate objects coming to life, stalking themes. - 💜

14. Reality Check - Hendery - Summary: You were certain your son was just doing something kids normally did, have an imaginary friend. Only what happens when that friend turns out to be real? - Warnings: Serial killer themes, murder, cursing, blood. - 💜

15. Stolen - Jimin (BTS)- Summary: Jimin is tired of waiting for you to finally come to him, so...he goes to you. - Warnings: Yandere Themes, kidnapping, mentions of drinking, mentions of drugging. - 💜

16. Down the Well - Eric (tbz)- Summary: Eric didn't mean to fall, but now that he had how was he going to survive long enough to get back up? - Warnings: Kind of teleportation themes (think Alice in Wonderland vibe), kind of being hunted, having to survive, cursing, mild violence, being trapped. - 💜

17. Devil in Disguise - Kino - Summary: You knocked on the wrong persons door, and now all he wants to do is lure you into his trap. - Warnings: Devil themes, mildly suggestive. - 💜

18. Just my Luck - Junhui - Summary: The only people who can recognize him are the only people he doesn’t want to. - Warnings: Being lost in a way, living on the street, faceless beings. - 💜

19. Accidentally You - Yugyeom - Summary: This wasn’t what you had planned for, but you weren’t going to get caught now. - Warnings: Body swapping, experimentation themes, murder themes, stalking themes, knife themes. - 💜

20. Guilty - Chenle - Summary: Chenle’s case of wrong place, wrong time worked out really well for you. - Warnings: Crime themes, guns, threats, police. - 💜

21. Once In a Lifetime - Hanse - Summary: He had been alone for so long it was hard not to fear that happening again. - Warnings: Graveyard themes, ghost themes, themes of loneliness. - 💜

22. Family - Hui- Summary: Hwitaek swore to protect his family no matter what, and he would do so with a vengeance if necessary. He was going to ensure people knew not to mess with him. - Warnings: Vampire themes, kidnapping themes, some violence. - 💗

23. License to Kill - Shinwon - Summary: His system was flawless, until you came along and had to figure him out. - Warnings: Serial killer themes, undercover agent/detective themes. - 💜

24. Sleepover - Victon - Summary: Everyone saw the signs, it was obvious the family that had just moved into the previously abandoned lot wasn’t normal. Yet, you were intrigued and they seemed to feel the same way about you. - Warnings: A tad bit flirty(if you squint), sleepover (innocent) themes, vampire themes, cursing, blood. - 💜

25. Muddied - Lay - Summary: You were sin itself. Temptation embodied. Everything he knew he needed to avoid and yet he couldn’t pull himself away. - Warnings: Angel themes, fallen angel themes, demon themes, alcohol, implied smut, strip clubs, cursing, very light vampire themes. - 💜

26. Inescapable - Junhee - Summary: It was meant to be a normal road trip, how you ended up here you didn’t know. Now the question was just...how to get out. - Warnings: Kidnapping (using drugs), guns, blood, torture themes (most phycological), being trapped, cursing, insults, forced labor, hair pulling. - 💜

27. Bloody Beautiful - Namjoon - Summary: You should have known your new house was too good to be true, or perhaps your fate was just inescapable. - Warnings: Ghost themes, haunting themes, blood, crying. - 💜(They are parents.)

28. Beastly - BamBam - Summary: Sometimes being in the wrong place at the wrong time means you have something you can hold over other people. - Warnings: Werewolf themes, mentions of nudity, kidnapping themes. - 💜

29. Glitch - Yeoone - Summary: As if finding out that your whole life was a lie wasn’t bad enough, you then find out that it was all thanks to the person you loved. - Warnings: Robots (not like a take over, but just pretty much all that exists anymore), science experiments, some angsty themes, uncertainty, blood (but it’s fake from the robots so..). - 💜

30. In Control - DK - Summary: Dokyeom had unleashed something powerful upon this world and now your only goal was to survive. - Warnings: Artificial intelligence themes, semi-apocalyptical themes, electrocution (not resulting in death). - 💜

31. Lone -Sehun - Summary: He was the last of his kind, just trying to blend in among those who were not like him. - Warnings: Vampire themes, mentions of death, graves. - 💜

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aprils-arcadia · 4 years

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Denial

Members: Kihyun, Changkyun, Wonho Genre: Fluff with a good deal of angst Word Count: 4,9k Summary: After your last relationship with Changkyun ended badly you are reluctant to give in to your feelings for your fellow freshman at college Kihyun.

“You know denial isn't going to help you.” Hoseok said, stuffing a handful of fries into his mouth. Like every Thursday before you found yourself at the usual cafeteria table with Hoseok.

“But denial and ignorance have been working so well.” You sighed, mindlessly poking your food with a fork.

Hoseok scoffed. “Ah, is that so?” He pointed at the fries in the middle of the round, run-down table. “That’s why you've been just staring at your food for the last ten minutes. You haven’t even noticed that I've been constantly stealing your fries.” He shook his head in disapproval. “Huh. Seems to work wonders.”

“Don't you sass me now. You know what’s awaiting me once I eat and get up from here.” You slumped back into your chair letting the fork clink against the plastic cafeteria tray. The food wasn't that bad. That much was clear by Hoseok wolfing it down without hesitation but right now you didn't feel like eating.

“Of course I do. That’s why I am trying my best to relentlessly bring up the topic so that you can finally suck it up and stop moping around.”

“But I don't know how. It's not as easy a decision to make. This isn't pizza vs. burger or gym vs. jogging.” You lifted your hands unethusicastically gesturing to your left and to your right, your eyes still transfixed on a rather nasty greyish spot on the ceiling. “It's… it's so much more difficult.”

“You'll have to face this sooner or later and by now you should know that sooner is the right way to go. You can't just hide out like this forever. And you can't try to deny that this is eating away at you, just like I am currently eating away all your fries, which for the record you still haven't stopped me from doing. If you aren't even possessive of your food anymore, who are you even?”

“Haha. Very funny." You leaned forward again, picking up a solitary fry that Hoseok had dropped onto the tray. "But seriously what should I do? Do you have any ideas?”

“Do you really want my advice? Like straight up blunt me telling you what I'm thinking?”

“Yeah, sure. Always.”

“You’ve told me quite a lot about that Changkyun guy by now and I can’t say I like him.” Hoseok’s tone of voice had turned serious and you could see that the casual mischievous air around him had vanished. “But apart from all that, if you would really still love him I don’t think you would have fallen for Kihyun.”

Silence.

He might be right. But on the other hand it's not like you could erase all the history you had with Changkyun either.

He had been your first real relationship, your first love. You had been so convinced that you two would live the happily-ever-after, the cliche “they meet in school and look at them still going strong”-movie stereotype, overcoming hardships together only to grow stronger as a couple.

But reality wasn't like this. Instead your Romeo and Juliet story turned into the annoying “on/off”, “are they/aren't they” cliche. You hadn’t heard from him or seen him and after the last fight you had, it's not like you could blame him but all that logic and rationality didn’t stop you from still loving that asshole no matter how many times your heart had been broken courtesy of him. And you still couldn't fight the feeling that even remotely thinking about Kihyun was cheating. That you were betraying the trust and the man you loved.

“When was the last time you spoke to that guy anyway?”

“6 months ago,” you admitted under your breath.

“6 months ago? I mean come on. You need to move on from this. That's just not healthy.”

You knew that Hoseok was right. It wasn't like you expected that Changkyun would come back to you, to show up at your dorm and begged you to take him back. That wasn't his style. Him calling you up at night and you hopelessly agreeing to meet with him was a thousand times more likely. Pathetic, you knew. But still.

"So why not see how things could go with Kihyun? He seems like a nice guy even though he might be a bit of a smartass at least from what I can tell.” Hoseok shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh I don't know it's not like I haven't thought about trying my luck with him and seeing where things would go. But I'm just feeling so guilty,” you said, reluctantly dipping your fry into the nearly empty ketchup.

“Yeah otherwise we wouldn't have to have this conversation almost every two days right before your two most beloved courses.”

This was both unbelievably true and painfully sarcastic. The two intro classes Hoseok talked about were indeed your favorite classes and finally gave you the feeling of having made the right choice in coming here. On the other hand they were also the ones where a certain someone was sitting next to you since the first week.

You had met Kihyun right after college started. You had just moved here a few days ago and the break up with Changkyun was still fresh, having happened only two weeks ago. But once you entered the college grounds you swore to leave that behind you. To leave it in the past and in the city you had left to come here. Which right at this moment did not seem to work out so well, you had to admit.

You were convinced, even if it was a bit naive, that this whole experience would change your life and that this is the perfect new start to get away from it all. Unfortunately this included your meticulous sleep schedule. Ever since the fallout with Changkyun you weren't able to really sleep. You spend the night scrolling through social media or God forbid your phone's gallery.

This wasn't helpful and you knew it.

The night before your first college day you had felt so utterly lonely that you couldn't help yourself. You deeply regretted having left and how things turned out with Changkyun. This wasn't how you wanted it to go but you also didn't know what would have been your ideal outcome. It was obvious that you and Changkyun had an expiration date. Hell, you have had so many of them in the past it was a wonder that you even made it this far. But somehow you always ended up with each other.

The topic of college had been looming over the two of you ever since your senior year of high school. He didn’t like the idea of you going to a different city and the thought of staying in the town you grew up in nauseated you. Your local community college had nothing to offer with all possible studies boring the hell out of you. You wanted change and a challenge and something that interested you. Changkyun never seemed to understand that. For him, you applying for other colleges felt like betrayal, that you were planning on leaving him, going somewhere where he didn’t know what you were up to, where he couldn't control who you hung out with.

So once the acceptance letters started to roll in the two of you fought on an almost daily basis. Somehow you had found the courage to tell him that you wanted to go to your current college and that you applied for a dorm room. He had just scoffed at that and told you that you wouldn't have the balls to leave anyway. That your little pampered, desperate self would not turn on him and leave. Two weeks ago you had finally gotten the approval for the dorm room. When you talked to Changkyun about trying to make this work long distance he completely flipped. You’ve had fights in the past, countless ones and he had broken up with you multiple times as well, but this was different.

This time it felt final. Irreversible.

He had left you a sobbing mess on the steps of your home, driving away way too fast in his car and skidding around the corner. You knew that he wouldn't come back. You knew that you wouldn't get the call. The call that he was sorry, the call that would make everything right again. You knew this wasn’t coming. But still you couldn’t comprehend that this was supposed to be the end. The real end.

You had sat on those steps for hours until your mother had finally come home and tried her best to get you inside. The rest of the day you spend asleep. Completely weak and dehydrated you fell into an uncomfortable sleep, only to wake up with tears still streaming down your face. You spend the week before leaving for college in a haze.

This wasn’t your usual coping mechanism.

You had stopped listening to music. This time around you didn’t drown your tears in Death Cab songs and ice cream wanting to be comforted by your friend and family. Instead you completely isolated yourself. You only ate when you were forced to and sleep didn’t come easy. Most nights you’d stared up at your bedroom’s ceiling, your mind completely empty but your body not letting you rest. It had felt like a part of you was missing that he literally had ripped out your beating heart where he stood. After a week you were only a shadow of yourself. You had packed for college with the help of your friend and moved into your dorm room. Sleep was still a rare commodity but you tried your best to start being hopeful about the future. You couldn't mope around forever and you shouldn’t let him ruin your first week of college.

But here you laid, not being able to sleep. The dorm room was dark and empty, the shadows from the trees outside dancing on the walls. Instead of trying to close your eyes you had grabbed your phone, the bright light of the screen hurting your eyes in the beginning. Looking at the pictures on your phone didn't make your feeling of crushing loneliness any better. On the contrary. It hurt. It hurt like hell. Knowing that the man you loved so much was done with you. Over you. Living life without you, like you never happend.

Luckily your roommate hadn’t moved in yet so no one was able to hear you sniffle and ultimately cry yourself to sleep at 4 a.m.

The next day you woke up to the loud noise from the hallway having ignored your alarm clock twice. Now you only had 15 minutes left to get dressed and rush to the lecture hall. One quick look in the mirror confirmed what you had dreaded all along. You looked like sh*t. You had wanted to start college bright-eyed and optimistic but those were not the kind of bright eyes you were looking for. You had no chance of wearing your contacts like this. Awesome. The cute first day of college outfit you had laid out the night before stared at you almost in disappointment and you grumpily grabbed your black-rimmed glasses out of the drawer and quickly put your hair up in a messy bun, brushing this bird’s nest of hair would have been a waste of time.

You rushed out of your dorm and onto the quad. Fortunately you already checked the way yesterday so instead of being completely lost you were able to just sprint across campus at full speed. Even though you earned a few ��heys” and even one “Run, Forrest, run” you were able to make it in time. You hurried inside and tried to catch your breath as good as possible. Most of the seats were taken, everyone shows up for the first one, you thought.

You had found an empty seat in the back of the lecture hall and sat down as unnoticeable as you could. The young man next to you gave you a quick smile and a nod and then focussed back onto his notebook again. You pulled out your own notebook and the lecture began with your professor introducing himself and outlining the following semester before diving straight into the basic concepts that will be needed for the rest of the course.

You tried your hardest to focus but your mind tended to wander back to what you gave up to be here, if giving up was even the right word, and how your finger had hovered over Changkyun’s number time and time again the night before. You choked back the uncomfortable feeling that was forming in the back of your throat. You needed to concentrate. You brushed your thoughts aside as best as you could and focused on the blackboard.

Nothing. You couldn't make out a single word. Great. If you couldn’t even copy the blackboard you may as well just leave. You squinted at the blackboard in an attempt to decipher the words as your professor was writing them. What he's talking about should give you some clues but still the smudges remained. If you could have just worn your contacts then this wouldn't have happened but no, you petty excuse for a human being had to cry yourself to sleep and were now forced to run around like a mole with those humongous glasses of yours that let's be fair here, didn't do sh*t.

You sighed heavily and rubbed the bridge of your nose. All the squinting has achieved was give you a mild headache and your notepad was still as blank as it could be apart from you writing the course name at the top. Just as you were starting to lean back in your chair and resigned to just listening, an unfamiliar notebook appeared at your side, nudging your arm.

"You can copy mine, if you'd like. That prof’s handwriting is like trying to read hieroglyphs."

You looked to your left and saw the guy next to you slide his notebook across.

"Oh and I took the liberty of correcting all his typos. You can be lucky that you don't have to deal with those cringe-worthy mistakes."

You chuckled slightly. It’s been days since you even smiled about anything, having forced all of them since the break-up. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

"No worries," the young man whispered. “I’m Kihyun by the way”

“Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you Y/N,” he said and smiled brightly.

His profile and jawline were sharp and he dressed unbelievably well. The sleeves of his button-down were rolled up to his elbows and his dark brown hair had a slight undercut. He was attractive to say the least. How could you not have noticed this when you first sat down. Ah yeah, you probably were feeling way too sorry for yourself at that time.

You quickly copied the notes and gave it back to him.

“Thanks again, I owe you one.”

"Nah. You're very welcome. But if you insist a coffee would be more than sufficient."

The next week you had finally been able to wear your contacts again. Thursday evening you had met the lovable idiot that was Hoseok. He’d spend the majority of the weekend listening to you cry your eyes out in the dorm common room. It was so easy to open up to him and maybe just maybe this was exactly what you needed. Someone who didn’t know the whole story who was completely impartial to hear your side of things. Talking to him made your shoulders a little lighter and he had made it his mission to make you feel better, to make you feel welcome and comfortable. He tried his best to get some nutritious food in you and forced you to join his Sunday morning jog.

The next day with your legs almost numb and a chipper, way too awake Hoseok by your side you arrived at the nearby coffee shop. It was a tiny cafe that was frequented mostly by the students and therefore it was usually packed at this time of day. Hoseok looked around the shop anxiously until his eyes met the ones of the guy sitting at the corner table.

“I gotta go. I don’t wanna keep Hyungwon waiting.”

“Hot date?” you said, eyeing the tall young man that was smiling sleepily at Hoseok and waved.

“Hell yes,” he replied and hurried off towards the other corner of the cafe. You took your two coffees from the counter and headed towards the lecture hall. Once you arrived you let your gaze wander through the rows until you spotted the only familiar face in the room.

“Good morning,” you said as you sat down and placed the cup of iced americano in front of Kihyun. “As promised.”

“Oh hey, thank you. I was wondering if you might have forgotten about me since you ignored me on Thursday.”

“Thursday? Where?” You fidgeted in your brain to try and remember where you could have seen him, but last week you were running on autopilot most of the time, without ever really registering your surroundings.

“Oh so you really didn’t even notice me. I was sitting like three people over in intro to media theory.”

“Oh no. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was spacing out a lot last week. I’m really sorry.”

“Well at least I know you didn’t forget me,” he said, taking the cup and nudged it against your own. ”Thanks again. That should help us not fall asleep.”

“I do hope so,” you said smiling as you started to sip your coffee.

“It doesn’t seem like you’ll need my perfectly-taken notes this time around,” Kihyun added, gesturing towards your non-existent glasses. “I gotta admit though I kinda miss the glasses.” You laughed shyly. “They looked cute on you.” Kihyun turned towards the blackboard as your professor started to speak up. “But I’m glad you look a little healthier this week,” he said mostly to himself but you were just able to catch it.

After unenthusiastically eating the remaining fries on your plate you got up, to make your way to your next course.

“So have you made up your mind?” Hoseok said leaning against a nearby wall, waiting for you.

“Of course I haven’t,” you said as you let the wrappers slide off your tray and into the trash can. “And he probably isn’t that interested in me anyway.”

“Excuse me? Do you remember that one time he asked you out and you straight up invited me along?” Hoseok rolled his eyes at you. “Yeah sure, he isn’t interested in you. And also to get back to our earlier discussion if that wasn't denial I don't know what was.”

“That wasn't denial. I literally didn't get it." You tried to look and sound as convincing as you could but Hoseok probably already saw through that. "And seriously ‘hang out’ is just not the language I associate with asking out," you added defensively.

“Oh come on. You were just scared out of your wits and panicked. Don't you try and wiggle your way out of this now,” he said, putting a hand on your shoulder guiding your way out of the cafeteria and into the hallway.

“Not fair and do you have any idea how long ago I went on a date last. Like a real asking out, whole shabang, first date?” You brushed off his hand from your shoulder and looked at him in all seriousness.

"No idea, but I’m gonna presume it was AGES ago" Hoseok answered dramatically.

"Correct. I had like one first date in my life and that was Changkyun." You didn't like to admit this but it was the truth. He was your first, your first for basically everything.

“Are you sure you just didn't realize the other ones were dates"

“Stop it for God's sake. Shouldn't I know that?”

“Not if you were as dense then as you are now.” Hoseok winked at you and slid into the classroom to your right. “See you later.”

“Smartass,” you added quickly and stuck out your tongue. Unfazed by your childish action Hoseok blew you a kiss through the closing door.

“He’s such an idiot.” He was a pain in the ass but you were thankful for Hoseok. He always found a way to cheer you up but was also by your side with advice and an open ear, everytime you needed him. You walked to your own lecture hall with timid steps, lost in thought.

It’s been six months since you’ve last heard from Changkyun.

No texts, no calls, no updates on social media.

In fact you couldn’t even see his posts anymore, maybe he straight up blocked you. He probably was happy without you and better off. And you really had to face the fact that you yourself were happy here as well. That your life might not have turned out the picture perfect way you wanted it to be but you had found friends that supported and loved you and you were enjoying your studies tremendously. The only thing that was in the way was that damned guilty consciousness of yours and the nostalgia of a past albeit failed relationship.

Changkyun wasn’t coming back and even if he was you shouldn’t fall for it because time and time again you should have been taught that this relationship was going nowhere. You were like oil and water, you could force them to be together for a while but slowly they would drift apart again. You guys weren’t made for each other and every other fight had proven that. He was overly jealous and you were too timid to really speak your mind. He was your first relationship, the one you wanted to treasure for the rest of your life but as Hoseok said it just wasn’t healthy. Not in the slightest.

Going to college might have been the fallout you two needed to start living a life not dependent on each other, to be able to move on and to find your own happiness and a relationship where you were an equal and where you wouldn’t have to fear for your relationship every time you went out with friends. Changkyun was probably over you already anyway, it never took him long to prove to you that he didn't need you.

So why, why on earth were you still limiting yourself.

Why were you still in any way being considerate to this ass. The ass that made out with your friend in front of you just to prove a point. The ass that left you standing in the rain after a fight having to walk home for an hour. The ass that never treated you right. You lifted your head and straightened your back. He wasn’t worth it and more importantly you were worth so much more.

Once you stepped out onto the quad and towards the lecture hall you felt a gentle touch on your back.

“Hey, Y/N.” The soft voice unmistakably belonged to Kihyun. “Glad I caught up with you before the lecture began.”

He couldn't have picked a better time. Right when all your thoughts were jumbled and you were trying to untie it even slightly, he shows up. Right on time to throw all your progress overboard. Right on time to make you question everything you thought you had figured out.

“Hey Kihyun, ready for the lecture?” you replied as unfazed as you could muster.

“Please, when am I not.”

You laughed. Hoseok was right, he could be quite the smartass.

“But that’s not why I tried to catch up with you.”

“Okay…”

“Can we talk for a second?” He stopped walking and now stood before you.

“Yeah sure, what’s up?” Now you were straight up scared. ‘Can we talk’ never was a good thing. Your stomach twisted and you felt the nervousness slowly rise inside of you.

“I talked to Hoseok the other day and I think this might be the best idea.” So many questions rushed through your head. Kihyun talked to Hoseok? They were close? You had only seen them together like once apart from the times you forced those two together. Hoseok couldn’t have possibly snitched on you, right?

“I just thought that he might help me out or give me some advice since you two seemed to be very close.”

“Okay…” This could only go wrong. Definitely only go wrong. “What did he tell you?”

“To be honest he just told me to man up and suck it up.” Kihyun laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. His light brown hair refracted the light and some strands glowed golden in the early spring sun.

“That does sound like him.” You smiled and noticed that Kihyun had started to avoid eye contact which was something he never seemed to have a problem with. Instead his eyes were all over the place, continuously wandering from your eyes downwards to then dart into a completely different direction.

You had probably never seen him so flustered and it made you uneasy. Over time you had gotten so used to Kihyun’s normal overconfidence but now he seemed self-conscious and even a bit vulnerable.

“It seems like nothing has really worked so far. So I feel like if I’m not gonna make it very simple you would brush over it again and just bring me coffee to class instead of going with me to the cafe I had in mind. Or bring Hoseok along with you to the mall.” He chuckled a bit and you were terrified of what he would say next.

He took a deep breath.

“I like you Y/N.”

There it was. Out in the open. Something you had tried to deny for longer than you should be comfortable with. There you had your answer. And now there was no way you could ignore it. He was able to muster the courage to tell you and you were always trying your best not wanting to face this possibility.

Kihyun finally found your eyes again and you tried your best to not have your face be an open book, telling him every little detail that was going through your mind. The war inside your head, the shouting, the panic and the overall chaos of you trying to decide what to do.

Again he averted his look but this time you finally realized where his eyes were trailing off to as yours started to do the same. His lips were parted slightly and ever so slowly you felt the distance between the two of you closing, right now you weren’t in control anymore as your body felt to be moving on it’s own until his face was only inches away from your own.

Right before you closed yours you took one look into his stunning dark brown eyes, and the different shades of brown that were mixed in there, invisible unless you stared directly into them.

He kissed you softly and finally, finally in forever your mind was quiet.

No guilt, no anxiety, just the warm feeling of joy spreading through your body.

He placed his hand tentatively on your cheek and your heart skipped more than just one beat. The soft touch of his lips and the warmth of his hand left you completely helpless. You wanted this moment to last forever, to not let go, but instead Kihyun pulled away from you. His face was slightly blushed and you could still feel his lips faintly on yours. His hand lingered on your cheek and his thumb continued to caress your cheek bone gently. He looked at you for a while, taking in what had just happened, before he spoke up again.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

“I think you already have your answer,” you said and grabbed his collar drawing him in into another kiss, this time less timid than the one before.

Who you loved, you weren’t sure. But you didn’t have to be. Whatever part of your brain told you that you would have to decide right then and there if you loved Kihyun and if you really didn’t have any feelings left for Changkyun could just shut the hell up. You were so focussed on this question that you completely forgot how life really works. He didn’t say “I love you” simply because he couldn’t even know that yet. So why did you expect from yourself to be able to answer it already. Yes, part of you still loved Changkyun and would probably do so till the day that you die but that couldn’t stop you from liking Kihyun, from wanting to know more about him, from waiting to spend more time with him, from wanting to find out where this could lead you.

So no, you didn’t know who you loved but you’d find out, in your own time, at your own pace.

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