#schlatt mention

[clownehonk]

Mister President, your Horns are growing in nicely.

[manticore-fangs]

thinking about bratty bottom schlatt with a dommy mommy reader,,,,,

hrgh, gonna be honest.. this sounds so hot. omg. (cw: cbt, chastity cage, bratty schlatt, slapping, bondage, mentions of puppy play and pissing, as well as muzzles and cages.)

the first time schlatt acts up, you slap his thighs in a warning. sending a glare his way and he just smirks, he wants to push you so fucking far - to the point his cock cant even function.. and oh boy does he get it.

the second warning is when he talks about how he could put you underneath him in an instant - knowing damn well that your the one in control for as of right now. when you find out you grab him by the cock, squeezing hard.

"what the fuck were you saying about control?" you grit your teeth, brows down. "i sai- fuck!- you-" he stumbles over his words when you squeeze the tip of his cock, rubbing your palm over the angry weeping tip. "what was that?" you ask again, tilting your head to the side. "nothing! fuck- it was nothing." you proceeded to let go of his cock, nodding. "thats what i fucking thought."

the third and last warning is when he mocks your moans, saying how absolutely horrid you are at pleasuring him.. thats when you grab his hair and start slapping him on the face, roughly.

"what the fuck was that schlatt?" he just stares at you, his face mixed with arousal and at the same time; anger. "you fucking heard me bitch." you slapped his cheek, raising your hand and doing it again. he hisses and looks at you, his pupils wide like saucers. "oh.. you like the pain huh?" you chuckle, and he spits out a "fuck you!" before you slap his cheek again.

now.. the punishment? you put a chastity cage on him. he has to wear it for 5 days, maximum. if he takes it off, you'll do something worse.

"fuck- please toots, i didnt even do anything wrong just get this fuckin' thing off my dick." he tries to tug at his cage, but the cage blocks him from doing even remotely to pleasure himself.

you tsk. "ah ah jay. dont fucking think about tugging your tiny soft cock, if only you were good id be riding your cock so fucking good youd be seeing stars.. but." you pause and admire his disheveled look, hair messing, brows furrowed, lips turned into a frown. "you had to act up, and bad boys dont get their mommies pussies."

on day three, he found a way to take off the cage and just starts fucking masturbating at his desk, moving his hand up and down, rubbing his palm over his tip and lathering his pre-cum all over his cock. but boy oh boy was it a bad thing to do. because you caught him.

now, his hands are binded to his back, he legs folded and calves and thighs tied together. a mouth gag in his mouth and a vibrator shoved up his ass on the slow setting - as well as vibrating rod in his lil cock.

you watch schlatt writhe around, moaning ont he gag in his mouth. your sat on his chair near his desk. as hes spread on the bed. "no jay, you cant have my pussy.. you acted out and bad pups dont get pussies. your lucky this isnt the worst i can go. cause i wouldve put a stupid fucking dog muzzle on you, put a chastity cage back on, and leave you in one of those dog cages i bought." you look at his reaction, and see a bit of pre-cum trickle out his poor ol' tip.

"and.. maybe ill put some puppy pads down, so you dont piss all voer the cage and ruin it. your so so so lucky i didnt do that huh?" he starts to whine like a dog as he bucks his hips up, and you tsk. "sorry puppy.. i wont be touching you for awhile.. actually. let me go get some groceries huh? gonna let you suffer here alone."

hm yeah something about bratty schlatt gets to me.

[rainnoblade]

MY FIRST MOVEMENT IS TO REVOKE THE CITIZENSHIP OF SAURISSA SOOT AND TOMMYINNIT!!

og meme under the cut

[wh0re-in-the0ry]

SOLD TO CHUCKLE SANDWICH??? 😱😱😱

Part two :3

🩸🐑🩸 Begone Cherub 🩸🐑🩸

Shoutout to @kiddiesmores @phedgehogs @gummysharklover and my favorite anon, thank you for moral support in this economy (love y’all) ((no beta, we die like Charles Slimecicle)) (((oh btw Charlie is canonically dead in this fic so don’t expect him any time soon))) ((((sorry doctor freaky :/))))

(the next day)

Beep

Beep

Beep

My alarm goes off… I open my blue orbs… ugh… wh-where am I? Oh right… the Chuckle House…

Oh gosh darn it wasn’t a dream… I hop off my air mattress and go through my “new” ikea dresser (it’s Ted’s old one, it smells like cheap vapes). I couldn’t pack most of my cool clothes because I couldn’t fit them in my bag yesterday so I stick with something simple: a baggy gray sweater and leggings.

I look kinda basic but it’s better than the same graphic tee from yesterday I guess :/

I grab my phone and earbuds and head to the kitchen… wait… what am I allowed to eat here..? Like…I don’t wanna just steal their food…

But I mean… they did kinda steal me so I guess we’ll be even? I shrug it off, head to the freezer and plop in two toaster strudels. If they didn’t want me to eat their strudels then they shouldn’t of bought me.

As I wait for my strudels I plug in my earbuds and start listening to [insert favorite artist], man I just love [music genre]. Just as I was getting to the good part of the song… Schlatt walks into the kitchen. He looks confused for a moment but then has a moment of clarity. “Oh right… I forgot you existed…” he yawns tiredly.

“Wow…don’t I feel special…” I muttered under my breath. The toaster strudels pop out of the toaster and I place them on a paper towel to cool before I add the icing. I play my music again but I can’t focus on it… not with him in the room with me. It feel so… so… odd to be standing next to Schlatt- let alone live with him now… I refuse to look at him but I can feel him staring at me- judging me… The feeling of dread and anxiety is building up in me. After like thirty seconds of hyping myself up, I look up from my cracked phone and towards Schlatt.

He looks absolutely disgusted, borderline offended, but he’s not looking at me… he’s looking at my iPhone 6s.

“…what?”

“What the fuck is that thing?”

“…it’s my phone?”

“It’s a crime to my eyes.” He actually looks offended that I have my phone in his vicinity.

“Well I’m sorry but it’s not like I can just go get a new one- not all of us are made of money.”

Schlatt rolls his eyes and heads to the pantry and pulls out a box of Crunch Berries. He makes his breakfast and sits down. My strudels are just about cooled and I decorate the pastries. One of them has my name on it: Y/n L/n (it’s nice having such a short name). The other one I drew a… drew a…

wiener. hehe.

I sit down with my strudels, sitting in the opposite corner of Schlatt, I’m still not used to him. I take a bite of my breakfast as I scroll through Pinterest, looking through outfit inspos and dynamic pose references for my art that I’ll realistically never use.

I almost forget Schlatt is even there until I hear him dramatically get off of the barstool and groans, “I can’t take this anymore… get your shoes on- we’re going to get you something useable… (and probably a new wardrobe while we’re at it Jesus…)” He mumbles the last part, damn… I know I’m no fashion expert but there’s something extra insulting about him pointing it out.

“Wait like right now?”

“Yes LiKe rIgHT NoW,” Schlatt parrots back.

“Bu- but what about school? I already missed my first day-“

“Y/n, what’s more important: missing one more day of school that you’re going to forget in a month or getting rid of that eyesore?”

“…uhhh school?”

“Wrong answer.” He takes another bite of his cereal, “We’ll leave once we’re done with breakfast.”

I sigh, “So I really don’t get a say in this, huh?”

“No, but I’ll let you choose the color of your new phone.”

“…fine.” I guess I can’t really complain… Oh no! I’m going miss my second day of a math class I took last year and get a new iPhone 😰 Oh God the horror!! Yeah… it’s probably in my best interest to go along with this.

It isn’t long before we both finish our breakfast and head to the garage. And oh god it’s massive- like it’s easily twice the size of my old apartment. I am once again asking myself how the hell did these guys afford a place like this. Because there’s no chance that the Zocdoc sponsorships are paying enough to cover this… or maybe they do idk- I know next to nothing about the business side of YouTube :/

There five cars in here: Ted’s Tacoma, a car I’m assuming is Tucker’s, and three really expensive looking cars, one of them being the one I saw yesterday with the U-haul. It’s almost embarrassing how little I know about cars so I’m not even going to bother describing the models or anything. I feel like I shouldn’t be allowed in the same room as these cars- let alone get a in any of them…

We get to driving and I am pleasantly surprised that Schlatt is actually a good driver- unlike anything I’ve heard from the podcast or his old Truck Driving Simulator streams. He’s so careful as he drives down the freeway. Maybe- just maybe he’s being careful because I’m in here..?

…

Nah it’s probably because this car is worth more than all my organs on the black market.

Yeah- it’s probably that.

We pull into the parking lot and conveniently were at the mall I work at. Nice- at least I won’t miss another day of work.

The mall trip was all sorta a blur. One minute I’m picking out a color for my IPhone 15 (blue btw), the next we’re going to 8 different stores to get me new clothes because my clothes, and I quote: “are a f*cking travesty.”

Is it rude of him to say- yes 100%. But I might’ve allegedly outgrown half my wardrobe back in sophomore year and needed some new stuff to wear to begin with… Sooo… he gets a pass this time..

By the time we are done with our next store, my school day is just about halfway done so there’s no point of Schlatt dropping me off at school now. Speaking of Schlatt- he looks absolutely miserable. Like this man’s face just screams ‘I wanna go home’. To be honest I’m surprised he lasted this long.

Despite his social battery being in the negatives, we stop by the food court for a quick lunch. Schlatt is eating a slice of cheese pizza from sbarro while muttering to himself that it was leagues behind New York’s pizza while I picked at my cheese stick and fries.

Today felt kinda odd. I’ve never been so spoiled before, it feels so strange but it’s certainly not unwelcomed. I look up at Schlatt, “Thanks Schlatt… I uhh… I appreciate it a lo-”

“Don’t mention it, Kid,” he says as he takes another bite of his pizza, still not looking at me while talking with his mouth with a little bit of food in it, “it was more a favor for me than you anyways.”

We go back to quiet.

When we are about halfway done with our food Schlatt looks up at me for the first time in like two hours, “So… Ted told me you work here.”

“Hm?”

“Ted said that you work at this mall.”

“Oh yeah- I drive those kiddie trains here.”

He nods, “okay…” there’s a brief moment of silence before he talks again, like as if his brain was checked out for the day, “do you have a shift here today?”

“Yeah.. it should start in about an hour.”

“…” he rubs the bridge of his nose, “I’m going to be real with you- I’d rather kill myself then be in this mall for another minute.”

“Fair enough,” it’s about a thirty minute drive to get here so it doesn’t make sense for me to leave now, “You can leave with the stuff right now and I can-”

“Y/n (≧∇≦)!!!” I can recognize that voice and the smell of Twilight Sparkle branded perfume from anywhere but before I could even turn my head, my best friend, [Best Friend] ran in and practically tackled me into a hug. Schlatt’s eyes widen for a second as I almost fall out of my chair because of her. “[Nickname], where were you yesterday? The mall was sooo boring without you (╥﹏╥)”

“I’m sorry, bestie but I had some… things happened yesterday..” I can see Schlatt’s confusion expression as he studied my friend. I know that [Best Friend] can be a lot with her 27 different beaded bracelets and her ever growing collection of Invader Zim memorabilia, but she’s an absolute sweetheart and the most loyal friend a girl can ask for.

“That’s suspiciously vague but okay then- oh also don’t worry I checked you in yesterday so don’t worry about your boss giving you an earful tonight (^_^)” She says, while still hugging me.

“Oh shoot- I completely forgot about work yesterday… Thanks [Best Friend] you’re a lifesaver!”

“You’re welcome…” She loosens the hug and looks at me, her tone sounding a little more serious, “but I can’t be doing this all the time again, Y/n. We talked about this, you promised that this year would be a fresh start for you and ditching work isn’t going to- ”

“Huh?” There’s a look of bewilderment written all over her face. I look at her confused until I realize she’s looking right at Schlatt and a pit forms in my stomach. Man I really don’t want to explain my situation to her- not now at least.

She asks the dreaded question, “Is that flippin’ Jebediah Schlatt (ಠ_ಠ)”

Both me and Schlatt look at her, then at each other, and back to her again and spoke in unison, “No.”

——

An: hey y’all thanks for reading part two of this mess. No one asked for this but I had a lot of fun with the first part so here we are. Idk if I’ll make more because I don’t have much after this planned but if you have any ideas/suggestions my comment and asks are always open!

I’m not gonna lie I’m too lazy to to add a link to the first part of this but if you click on the tag s writes or a homage to wattpad it should take you there.

Anyways here some doodles I made while writing this mess

Okie that’s all bye :)

-S

[cyncerity]

Karlnapity doodles??? 🥺 The bbs <3

YES YES YES MY BOYS MY BOYSSSS

TY SQUISHY I WILL TAKE ANY AND EVERY EXCUSE TO BE ABLE TO DRAW THESE THREE THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME

ok so i kinda went crazy here cause it’s almost 2 am and i said “hey there’s an idea i’ve had for going on 3 years that i keep saying i’ll animate and never do.” so i finally did.

this is for a very very old au, it’s actually the first au on this blog and has 1 story; which is karlnapity. I won’t go into all the lore and stuff but i’ll link that story here for those of you who weren’t here in 2021, it’s how they ended up together in this au <3. Basis is Sapnap is a human, Quackity is an avian, and Karl is an Ermine hybrid borrower.

[smileymoth]

sly requested this <3 he's so happy guys

[exerzist]

present mic but he has a podcast,, not like *that* but like how schlatt had the weekly slap. He's got comedy to entice adults but he's focused towards teens. they (mostly students) send him questions every week that are sometimes stupid and sometimes serious, looking for help and advice and he responds with his own experiences and mixes jokes inbetween

[almostdeath]

Okay. I wanna rant and talk again about C!Schlatt and how it makes sense that he is pro-governmental structure or even a structure with an emperor on top.

Him being a sheep hybrid makes sense in that case. Sheep flocks usually have a sheep that leads them (the role of the leader is usually exchanged among the sheep). There are many different factors that determine which sheep will lead the flock. One of those is age and experience (Schlatt would be one of the oldest in the group, especially if we are talking about the Manberg cabinet), dominance which is determined by social interactions (Schlatts comes off as confident in his beliefs. Doesn't matter if he actually has a high self esteem or not as long as he displays such in public) and also initiative, which Schlatt of course showed.

Sheep are very social animals. They will get stressed and depressed in isolation (which makes a lonely limbo quite impactful for Schlatt and could lead to a scenario in which he would be very desperate to stay near the person that revives him). So him wanting to have a community and clear structure makes a lot of sense. So he would definitely be opposed to anarchy that Technoblade and Phil want.

One of the main instincts is to keep the flock safe...so getting rid of danger (such as Tubbo, as he is a traitor) is a reasonable response. (Not saying that Tubbo deserved death but besides of getting rid of him...there weren't many options. Maybe imprisonment, so he won't carry out important information or plans)

(Also. The angst of Quackity being the one to revive Schlatt and Schlatt just acting overly dependent on him because he was in isolation for such a long time. For something that felt like literal years. Quackity not really understanding. Maybe feeling mocked. But later seeing that Schlatt has that behavior with everyone he knew, like Fundy.)

[fuck-you-im-the-president]

Onna scale from 1-10 how would you rate our "business meeting" last night?

Please let me know your feedback so I can improve in the future

9/10 :/ it's not 10/10 because you aren't Quackity. :/

[royalarchivist]

undefined

Wilbur: You only need to be brave for one second.

Wilbur’s advice on bravery and confidence.

[goosewizard]

chat i would like to propose in universe ctommy tattoo artist

(also on ao3)

tommy doesn't remember when he started tattooing.

he has a small stick and poke from l'manberg, something stupid he and tubbo did one night with sewing needles and ink. a lopsided 'T' still rests on his ankle, and he knows tubbo has a matching one. they're small and faded and dumb to look at but they face the other when the two stand side by side, and that's enough for them both.

(he remembers tubbo had looked at it in awe after it was done, asking if he could do a bee next, and tommy figured he may have to get more serious about blood-borne diseases)

he practices on himself, writes out POGCHAMP on his knuckles (and then thanks Prime that hand tattoos fade fast). he sports two uneven black circles above his right knee, with small blobs of green and purple in their centers. wilbur had commented on how they looked like a particularly nasty bruise, but tommy found fresh needles, gloves, and rotten flesh on his bed later, so he'd like to call it even.

(besides, he likes how it looks)

he had garnered a bit of a reputation after that, working on whoever would let him. tubbo gets his bee, a whole swarm of them really, niki gets flame dancing up her arm, fundy asks for something or other, but they could never really figure out the logistics of it. it was good for a while.

and then open wounds are too much of a risk to take.

and then they're free.

and then there's schlatt.

in the quiet of pogtopia, wilbur asks him for a flag, the flag, right over his heart. tommy scoffs but takes extra time making sure the ink he's using is just the right color. it had been some of his finest work. wilbur had loved it.

(he tries not to think about how there's a scar running through it now. he guesses some things were never meant to last after all.)

tommy would say that he doesn't do touch-ups, that all his work is perfect the first time and you can suck it.

that rule doesn't quite apply when his best friend has been burned to shit, taking tommy's craftsmanship with it. the skin is obliterated, raw and open, and the bees are gone. tommy offers to do them again, right then and there while tubbo's still hopped up on painkillers, but tubbo just shakes his head and says maybe later.

later doesn't come for a very long time.

when he comes to tommy, back still raw and bandaged, quackity asks for his wings back. he says fuck no but changes his answer to not now when quackity crumples. a few months later, when he all but sobs at his reflection, tommy pretends not to notice.

tommy doesn't tattoo dream.

(he wishes he didn't tattoo himself then, but the smile on his wrist stares up at him, taunting)

(it had been the only thing dream allowed to heal)

he's worse at it when he gets revived back. his hands shake. he's out of practice. his lines are sloppy. he puts a lily of the valley on his calf. it looks like shit.

he does it just to know he's alive sometime, tells people he's 'practicing' when he stabs lines into his skin. it doesn't hurt him, not really, it's just-

tommy doesn't really know. he's so tired nowadays.

it's tubbo that brings him out of it in the end (it's always tubbo isn't it?). he gifts tommy a machine he made himself with new needle adapters, says it should be a lot faster now and you could do the bees again, if you want, and that's it really.

they start on tubbos sleeve that night, laughing like they're 16 again and talking, really talking. it's been so long since they've been together like this. tommy tries out his new machine on rotten flesh, gets a feel for it before he works on his best friend, his brother. as they sketch the design, the sun rises and tubbo has to run home to take care of his son (when did he get a kid?), promising to be back before long.

(tommy thinks of all the promises tubbo has broken)

(he doesn't break this one)

when he comes back, tommy pours the ink with shaking hands and tells his brother you don't have to trust me again. you can live your new life and i'll make do. i never wanted to hurt you. i didn't mean it. if this sucks it's all your fault. tubbo smiles at him, easy and understanding and says yeah, alright.

i still love you enough to stay.

the lines wobble a bit and tubbo has to take deep breaths on the tender parts because he actually does have pain receptors on that side you asshole, but he smiles as he says it. he leaves with his arm wrapped and a promise to care for his new ink, and there's a weight off tommy's chest.

to his surprise, ranboo comes to see him next, hands twisting and looking like a deer set to bolt. they ask for a crown on their left wrist. small. simple. and something that would have taken 15 minutes if they would stop teleporting away every time the needle fucking touched them.

(ranboo ends up calling tubbo to keep them still. the hand-holding and flirting is gross)

(tommy's happy for them)

tommy finishes tubbo's sleeve, and ranboo honest-to-god swoons when they see it and they're all laughing their asses off and before he knows it he's meeting their kid who's so little and looks up at tommy with his big eye and touches his tattoos gently and with so much wonder that it hurts to look at and it's too much and he bolts.

the next time tommy sees the kid (michael, his name is michael), he has marker scribbles all over himself, says like you! in toddler babble, and tommy thinks he may be able to swing an apprenticeship someday.

he sees more people after that. he thinks there's less fighting now, or maybe just less fighting directed at him. he appreciates it, either way. connor gets a sonic tramp stamp, go figure. niki comes back, asks for a lemon branch, and tommy pretends he doesn't know the meaning behind it. quackity comes in, disheveled, and quietly asks for the name Charlie over his heart. tommy does it at no charge. his eternal nuisance ranboo gets alliums and tulips winding up their arms in black and white ink, their husband holding them down all the while.

no, tommy does not cry, he is a professional.

with enough time and some very generous "anonymous" donations, tommy builds a tattoo shop, a real one with clean quartz interior and shiny new chairs and work stations. he offers his tom-toos to whoever passes by, and his portfolio grows bigger by the day. the shop is safe (tubbo's fucking nukes ensure that) and on special days, michael helps him stencil his clients.

wilbur comes in once, and tommy has the strength to say no. wil doesn't come back after that.

tommy doesn't remember when he started tattooing, but now, as he looks across the SMP and sees little pieces of him across boundary and faction lines, on friends and enemies, he thinks he'd be a fool to ever stop again.

[cxyotl]

ik pumpkinduo has been talked about to death but still isn’t it like insane that schlatt kind of jumped straight into a relationship with his guy he barely knew I don’t think people talk abt this enough. Genuinely crazy and immature and I always get sad that discussion on it is kind of sideblined in favor of making him a stereotypical abusive husband

theres so much to talk about with pumpkinduo thanks for the ask. im normal. < not. cschlatt is, undoubtedly, abusive. but hes not abusive for “stereotypical reason”, and to act like hes just another abusive character is fucked. hes more complex than that, and cpumpkinduo is more complex than that.

[somerandomcryptid]

Ok so the plot point connected to this art might not stay because I know it's treading on Cala's boundaries and I feel really bad about that (but I fucking forgot about it when I was drawing this so sorry, I'm just dumb like that) so Cala absolutely feel free to tell me no that's too far, I'll absolutely rework it, but I wanted to at least post the art because I'm really happy with the art

So uh possibly triggering context under the cut

Tw for brief SH (scratching, though not to the point of drawing blood, and filing horns down, with no lasting or major nerve damage, just grazing it a bit, I don't even go into any of it actually, am very vague) and generally just, lots of Cryptid's mental state being absolutely totally fucked up

Basically, the short version, is a few weeks after Cryptid moves back into the artic commune, Dream and them have a big fight. This is post The first bottle, not the last.

A very big fight, a lot of hurtful things are said, mostly by Cryptid, because they are still rightfully pissed about everything. Dream insists he cares about them, Cryptid is skeptical. But eventually convinced. This does not make them any less angry and resentful.

Infact they just decide, "you care about me? Fine. I'll make that one of the worse mistake of your life." Because as they logically conclude, hurting themself will hurt Dream. You can probably see where this gets bad.

Thankfully they don't really get to hurt themself much. And they are talked down by Wren, but this is when everyone realizes just how hard they're spiraling.

Anyway yeah that's about it for context, I get if it's too much and overall Dreaming of death spiraled into something way darker then I originally intended and I honestly didn't even realize it, which I feel bad about given this is an au of someone else's work.

It turned into a bit of therapy for me and that was very unintentional, but I think it's honestly so connected to some of my plot points that I can't really separate that. I would be majorly changing the story if Cryptid didn't become an emotional mess of a person at some point, but certain things like the SH is definitely something that can be removed for everyone else's(and especially Cala's, since they're the author of penpal) comfort. I have my reasons for adding it, but I don't want to be violating any boundaries.

Anyway sorry for rambling, I kinda did this art and then realized, 'oh fuck idk if this is ok actually' so I just wanted to make clear that this might change and I'm completely willing to change it based on if Cala's alright with it or not

(I've literally mentioned them like 4 times but I'm tagging them here, @calamari-minecraft-corner is the creator of penpal, the fic Dreaming of death is based on, as we all know by now)

[wh0re-in-the0ry]

Back when I had my dsmp phase I also had this au of Thief! Philza and murderer! (also possibly cannibal?) Schlatt being roommates. The fic I made is lost in my high school google doc but here’s some doodles based off what I remember

[michaels-two-dads]

Somebody PLEASE give me context for the “Beeduo Will Prevail…” thing I NEED to know how this started

[greeniscosmic]

I need jschlatt to play backyard baseball so badly

good news!!! i vaguely remember him mentioning playing it when he was younger!!! big win for the backyard baseball fandom