#school started so i'm working on that and was doing this at the same time sorry for inactivity

[niningtori]

freudian

pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, choi soobin x you

summary: freudian - susceptible to analysis in terms of unconscious desires. or, your parents have forced you to be "best friends" with minji, a woman you're convinced was put on this earth specifically tailored for you to have a mutual hatred with, since elementary school. she's confident, beautiful, and charming; and her boyfriend, beomgyu, is just as formidable. he's been a pain in your ass, an asshole to you to the most severe degree, since they got together in college. now, you're roommates with minji, but you begin to secretly take interest in beomgyu's best friend, soobin. it's just that... beomgyu's been acting weird these days.

genre: angst, romance, smut (mdni), lowkey yandere

warnings: smut (mdni!!!), yandere!beomgyu but more like pathetic!beomgyu, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex, impregnation kink, no real dom/sub dynamic bc it didn't feel right but sub!gyu is coming back in a big way in "our deal"

word count: 13.1k

notes: hello my friends! i know i've been gone for a minute and i told myself i would post this on my bday at the latest... mind u it was in may LOL but this is a bit long for me so i hope that makes up for it a little 🥹 thank you all for being so patient with me. i hope you enjoy, and if you do, please leave feedback—it is truly so encouraging! if you don't like it please spare me i beg you cuz i'm still riding the struggle bus n don't want my feelings hurt

( ཀ͝ ∧ ཀ͝ )

“human beings are funny. they long to be with the person they love, but refuse to admit it openly. some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worse, returned. but one thing about human beings that puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection, even if it kills them slowly within.” - sigmund freud

-

you’ve never been one to try to work against the inevitable. some would call it pragmatism, others would call it simply being a fucking loser, but you try not to dwell on its meaning. as it is, when your parents forced you to become “best friends” and “practically sisters” with minji in elementary school, you just let it happen. and when she inevitably drew the attention of every boy your eyes happened to linger on for longer than ten seconds, you also let that happen. as the years passed, and your parents forced you to tolerate all of minji’s, frankly, bitchy behavior, you stopped trying to avoid your fate and became as seemingly unflappable as you are now. 

to say that minji is cartoonishly evil would simply be a lie, no matter how much you feel that way, but even you can recognize that she’s nice to a lot of people. it’s just, for some reason, you’re not one of them. when you two were forced to hang out together with friends, she would always bring up embarrassing stories to try to get them to laugh at you, and she's so damn charming, it worked. and on the rare occasion in which you felt kind of confident in your looks, she’d wait until you all were in public to point out insecurities you didn't even know you had. and the one time in middle school when you finally tried to tell your parents how awful minji was to you after she lied to the boy you liked by telling him that you called him ugly—which somehow resulted in her “comforting” him and becoming his first girlfriend—minji bawled like a baby during the mediation. in the end, you had to apologize to her for hurting her feelings. 

even so, forced proximity is a breeding ground for understanding, and you understood minji from the start. in the same way, she understood you. honestly, regardless of your wishes, she probably understood you better than anyone else; but that is no longer the case. for as much as you two have always hated each other, there used to be fleeting moments of connection. her making a snide comment about an obnoxious neighbor when they compared you to her, and you taking care to make sure nobody ate the rest of her favorite dish when she was late to family dinner. you two may have disliked each other, but there was an undercurrent of… something. it was a twisted relationship, you won't deny that, but it was a relationship, nonetheless. however, all of that dissipated like smoke once you reached early adulthood. to this day, you're not sure why. 

yours and minji’s parents pretty much forced you to room together in college, both stating that it was the only way they’d feel comfortable with you two being on your own. regardless of how quickly the two of you would now dismiss such a ridiculous notion, you were both relieved at the idea. it was almost like having a built-in companion. however, very shortly after you two settled in, things went from mildly bad to absolutely abysmal. undeniable, but ultimately menial, feelings of derision from minji became outright disdain towards you. you won't lie and say you didn't become petty in return, and you’ve never cared enough to fix such a strange dynamic, though you sometimes wonder if you should. 

as it stands, minji could hear you getting slandered to pieces, and she’d probably join in. as for you, you’d indifferently watch someone gorge the rest of her favorite dish at family dinner rather than speak up for her. now, after both having graduated and joined the workforce, you no longer have to worry about threats to cut your livelihood off. realistically, you could stand up to your parents and say, “fuck minji, fuck her parents, and fuck you both for manhandling me into being her friend!” but that sounds awfully dramatic, so you won’t.

besides, minji, for all of her raging bitchiness, is actually the best roommate you could ever ask for. for example, she never leaves her stuff lying around, and she always rinses off her dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. the only consistent downside has been the men she’s brought home since freshman year of college, which you declare are none of your business, but the sounds of her… passionate encounters are a real drag. still, you could mostly tolerate them, but her current—and seemingly permanent—boyfriend seems determined to elicit the most perverse sounds he can out of her. at first, you prayed that it was just the honeymoon phase, but it’s been literal years at this point, and the screams reverberating through the walls of your apartment would be an inconvenience to anyone; but it’s especially troubling on nights like tonight, in which you have to be up extra early tomorrow morning for a meeting at work. 

as you clutch a pillow to the top of your head in a vain effort to muffle out the lascivious noise, you contemplate maybe sending a text message asking minji to try to keep it down. maybe you could knock on the wall, and maybe that'd remind her that you're also a sentient human being who happens to occupy the room right next to hers. but you know it'd be fruitless, know it’d do nothing to actually help your situation. in fact, on the rare occasions that you’ve politely requested that they be considerate of your poor, battered sleep schedule, or even just subtly hinted to having something important in the early morning you needed to be well-rested for, it's always seemed to come back around and bite you in the ass. it's almost like they become even more unhinged than usual when they know you need your sleep, so there's absolutely no point in trying to get them to quiet down. still, as the hour ticks by, you become more and more anxious that you'll be unable to wake up tomorrow morning, so with a sigh, you tentatively knock on the wall between your bedrooms. 

surprisingly, the noise ceases, and you really think standing up for yourself might have just worked out in your favor for once, but then you hear minji and her boyfriend snicker, and then there's the damning sound of their resumed activities. she was loud before, but now, it's like minji is being mauled or something. so much for being well-rested.

-

you wake up the next morning feeling like you got hit by a truck, and you just know you look like shit. you try your best to cover your dark circles, but at this point, who are you fooling? when you finally leave your bedroom, you run into minji’s boyfriend, the one she's been obsessed with since college. beomgyu. 

“good morning,” he says with a lazy smirk as he leans over the counter. “did you sleep alright?” god, he’s such a fucking asshole.

“yep,” you mumble as you push past his shirtless body and reach into the fridge for your lunch.

“really? doesn't seem like it. you look like shit,” he chuckles, and while you don't even spare him a glance, you can just feel the smug look on his face emanating off of him and boring into the back of your head.

“thanks,” you say flatly as you fill up your water bottle. you're unsure why he even talks to you, but if you had to put it into words, it'd probably be something akin to the phenomenon of a cat watching a mouse as it backs itself into a corner. even so, you don't know why he bothers with trying to get a reaction out of you. you've never reacted to his taunts very much, but he still seems hellbent on making life difficult for you.

“you know, maybe if you got some good action, you’d understand why minji's as loud as she is,” beomgyu continues, almost as if he doesn't sense your unwillingness to participate in this—or really any—conversation with him.

“i'll keep that in mind,” you say perfunctorily as you shuffle over to the doorway and slide on your shoes before shutting and locking the door behind you. you don't see the way beomgyu’s fists clench at your unrelentingly dismissive tone, and even if you did, you wouldn't understand it.

-

in retrospect, you didn't have a particularly strong impression of beomgyu when you first met him. you vaguely remember him hanging around minji, and you somewhat recall listening to her rave about him against your will. still, her treating him like he’d been molded by the hands of the muses probably killed any interest in getting to know him in its crib. honestly? you probably should have planted some seeds of doubt in her mind when you two were still somewhat cordial, because if you had, maybe he wouldn't be with her today. your penchant for apathy has cost you peace, it seems, because beomgyu is at every family function and in every family photo, and at this point, it’s only a matter of time before he’s your de facto brother-in-law. 

it looks as though his continuous onslaught of criticisms about your appearance, your demeanor, and your very presence have no discernible end in sight; and minji is more than happy to up the ante whenever he's around, which is fucking always. you almost think that you, in some strange way, make their bond grow even stronger. after all, you're pretty passive prey, and it must be somewhat fun to invent new ways in an effort to push your buttons. still, you're older and more jaded now, and you're pretty resigned to your fate. anyway, there's no way to make a completely clean break from them without your family causing an uproar; and for as much as you resent them, you don't want to do that. 

-

you've been staying out more and more these days. after all, you're not getting much sleep at home, so what's the point of being there? plus, you’re effectively harassed by minji and beomgyu every time you have the displeasure of seeing them, so why bother? at least, that's what one would think your reasoning is, but reality is much more complicated than that. and your reality involves soobin, a guy you met in college, who you happened to reconnect with when you went out drinking with some coworkers a few months ago. 

how do you know soobin in the first place? well, you initially met him through his best friend… beomgyu. so, complicated is putting it very generously. frankly, you’re surprised someone as sweet and mild-mannered as soobin is best friends with an asshole like beomgyu, but then, you’re “best friends” with someone you fucking hate, so you guess that’s just how things work out sometimes. 

even when you are home, you don’t speak to beomgyu, who’s at your apartment so much, you wonder why he and minji haven’t just bitten the bullet to officially move in together and leave you stranded; but you're thankful they haven't because the roommate market is in dire straits. realistically, you never did speak to either of them for any meaningful amount of time outside of deflecting their verbal jabs about how you're an undesirable loser, but now, it’s even less than ever. 

you spend the night at soobin’s pretty much constantly, so tonight, your elusive presence at your own apartment is particularly jarring. the kitchen is dimly lit by the moonlight and the fluorescent lighting above the stove, and the only sounds are from you quietly opening up the plastic of the post-midnight snack you’re making. that is, until you hear the door to minji's room opening as beomgyu creeps out and lightly shuts the door behind him. you immediately register his nearly-naked form, but you're so used to it by now, you don't even blink. 

“hey," he says tentatively, but you've never been particularly in tune with beomgyu's emotions, so you don't catch the hesitation in his greeting.

"mm," you hum as you furrow your eyebrows, focusing on preparing your snack. 

"you haven't, uh, been around much. everything okay?" he asks gently.

“yep,” you reply as you focus on setting the timer.

“have you been working a lot?” he probes.

“not really,” you mumble as you begin to pour yourself a glass of water. it's late, and you've been with soobin all night, only returning home because you didn't bring a change of clothes for work tomorrow, so your inhibitions are lowered. you're not as guarded as usual, and beomgyu is intent on capitalizing off of that.

“you should eat some real food,” he suggests, trying another tactic. “i could… i could make you something, if you want.” this is… weird. beomgyu has never offered to cook for you, and while he's made things before that you happen to like, it’s always been in service of minji; and he’s only ever offhandedly remarked that there were leftovers available to you. of course, you’ve always refused, so his present consideration is daunting, to say the very least. finally, you make eye contact with him.

“uh, thanks, but it's fine. i'm tired, so i want to eat something easy and quick before bed,” you say as you redirect your attention to your timer, willing it to move faster so you can eat and get the hell out of here. you push your hair back as you wait, and you unknowingly reveal a darker patch of skin where soobin had unintentionally sucked too hard on your neck. in the dim light of the kitchen, beomgyu’s eyes immediately zero in on the mark. he draws closer, his tall frame looming over yours as he holds your hair back to get a better look.

“what's this?” you balk at his question and his overly-familiar proximity. you try to pull away, but he just steps closer, essentially trapping you between himself and the counter.

“who were you with?” he asks between clenched teeth, his eyes narrowing with a darkness you’ve never seen from him, or from anyone, really. 

you wave his hand away in annoyance.

“why do you care? you're too close,” you defiantly reply. his jaw ticks as he leans down closer to your face, his intent eyes scanning your annoyed ones.

“who were you with?” he repeats, his voice even lower this time. thank god above that your timer goes off, and you push him off of you as you grab your food and scurry to your room, eager to put some distance between the two of you. you shut your door, as usual, but for some reason, you're compelled to lock it. 

-

you think of your bizarre encounter as a one-time thing, though you're still not sure what to make of it. yours and minji’s families have always tried to push the “family” narrative between you two, and beomgyu by extension, so you briefly entertain the thought that he might actually just be buying into the ludicrous idea, albeit belatedly; but that thought is snuffed out when his previous asshole behavior is dialed up to 100. the groceries you buy are always mysteriously gone before you can even finish eating them, your keys are never where you left them, and you swear minji and/or beomgyu are using your shampoo with the intent of draining it immediately every time you buy a new bottle. is this their way of “hinting” at you to kick rocks and find your own place? if so, how petty. getting a new place on your own would be expensive, and while you're not home much anymore, you feel it's far too early in your relationship with soobin to formally suggest moving in together. you'll just tough it out.

among all the preteen-level hazing tactics, though, there is one thing that genuinely unsettles you: things in your room are always slightly out of place. your mirror is slightly tilted a bit differently than usual, the clothes in your dresser are folded a bit more crisply than you remember, and you're trying not to feel crazy when you can't find a few pairs of your favorite panties.

tonight, you're finally home from a long, long day of work, and all you want to do is relax. you realize that soobin's home is a lot more peaceful, but his parents are visiting from out of town until tomorrow evening, which means they’ll be staying at his apartment until then. soobin still kindly offered to have you spend the night, and while you'd be happy to meet his parents, you’d feel a bit awkward with going any further than a simple dinner for a first introduction. 

so you're home. while you thought you knew beomgyu’s schedule well enough to successfully avoid him, it seems that he's awake far later than usual, and he's lounging on the couch when you walk through the doorway. his eyes immediately dart up when he sees you. 

“damn it,” you mentally curse, and it's like he can hear your unsavory thoughts.

“home late from whoring around again?” he drawls. you roll your eyes while taking off your shoes, but he’s especially relentless tonight.

“that's all you're doing, you know,” he continues. “nobody will ever take you more seriously than that. what do you have to offer other than mediocre sex?” there's a sneer on his mouth, which is normal, but his eyes are burning with the same unsettling intensity you registered when you last saw him; and while you’ve usually considered beomgyu as a mildly annoying pest, you start to feel a real inkling of anger. you don’t care—well, you shouldn't care—but it’s like he's dealing even lower blows than usual. you're about to answer with something —anything—but he does not take kindly to your silence.

“see, even you don't know the answer to my question,” he says with a mean laugh. “that poor bastard must be desperate for pussy to settle for you. but easy is easy, i guess.” 

for the first time ever, you actually do respond, and of all the things you could conceivably say, you unintentionally utter a string of words that happen to be particularly soul-crushing to beomgyu: “you're fucking disgusting.” you don't stick around after that, because he clearly doesn't give a shit, so why should you? you could rub your relationship with beomgyu’s very own best friend in his face, but he's not worth it. you’ll go back to ignoring him like you usually do, and you genuinely consider scouring the web for roommates. you even consider just moving out and paying this city’s exorbitant amount of rent on your own. you'll see.

beomgyu, however, is reeling from what you said. for reasons he can't possibly begin to understand, those three seemingly innocuous words, probably uttered without much thought, seemed to dig at something inside of him he can't quite explain. the pain is there, but its source is buried deep down, down, down in his stomach. he tells himself it meant nothing, that you didn't even think about what you said before saying it; but for some reason, the notion that you didn't have to think about it, that you just said what you honestly felt for him, makes him feel even worse.

he's not sure what outcome he was expecting. after all, he wanted to push your buttons, so why did succeeding for the first time feel so… so strange? he feels a sense of unease unlike anything he’s ever felt before. he’d talk about his feelings, but he doesn't understand where they're coming from, and even if he did, who would he tell? minji? the thought alone is laughable. while she has absolutely no qualms about dumping all of her problems on him, he’s never reciprocated. besides, any mention of you quickly devolves into shit-talking. he could tell soobin, but his so-called best friend has been flaking on him for reasons unknown. 

between the two, the answer is clear: soobin. still, having a non-conversation with him sounds unappealing, so he'll simply make soobin come out with him and the rest of their friend group. even if he can't quite articulate his feelings, just getting wasted with his friends should be enough to tie him over. he texts his group chat naming a day, time, and bar. everyone eagerly agrees, even his recently dodgy best friend.

-

being fifteen minutes late is one thing—even thirty minutes would be acceptable—but when soobin still hasn’t shown up an hour after the agreed upon time, beomgyu is thoroughly irritated. he tries to text, but when they remain unanswered, he harshly pushes out his chair and heads to the bathroom to call his increasingly unreliable best friend. the phone rings… and rings… and rings. beomgyu’s jaw clenches as he begins to accept that soobin, in fact, will not answer. then, just when he’s about to hang up, a groggy voice echoes into his ear. 

“hello?”

beomgyu tries to rein in his temper as he snaps, “soobin, where the fuck are you?” 

“huh?” soobin mumbles.

“you were supposed to be here a fucking hour ago. why are you bailing again? are you hooking up with someone without telling me?” usually, beomgyu couldn't care less about who soobin’s latest fuck is, but he feels the barest amount of dread in his stomach for reasons he will soon understand. 

“uh, no,” soobin replies, his voice a little clearer this time in lieu of beomgyu’s edge. “i’m just… really tired. look, i’m sorry i bailed again. we’ll go out soon, okay?” beomgyu is temporarily placated until the following moment.

“come back to bed,” beomgyu hears someone whine in a sleepy voice. it’s too low for beomgyu to pinpoint whose it is, but the dread he feels makes a resurgence. 

“are you fucking serious right now?” beomgyu snarls. “you keep bailing on me because you're shacking up with someone, aren't you?” he's not sure why, but he's compelled to ask, “who is it?” 

“no! it’s… it’s just the tv, i swear. look, uh, i’ve gotta go. i’ll text you later, alright?” soobin thinks he hangs up the phone, but unfortunately for everyone involved, he does not. beomgyu knows he should end the call and grill soobin for some answers later, but something tells him to keep listening, so he does—which is a decision he will come to regret.

“you're such a baby,” soobin coos as he loudly plants kisses down somebody's body. fuck whatever decision beomgyu thought he was making, he’s hanging up now. but then, a voice he’d know anywhere cuts through the haze. your voice.

“mmm, soobin, i need more.” 

what the fuck? 

beomgyu gasps sharply as if he’s been kicked square in the chest, the breath leaving his lungs until they start to burn. he thinks it can't get any worse than this, but then the real noise starts. it’s all a blur, really, but between the breathy moans, the cries of pleasure, the unmistakable sound of flesh meeting flesh, and soobin’s filthy words of satisfaction, what really stuns beomgyu the most is your stomach-churning praise. he can barely comprehend where he is, can barely register anything outside of the noises that threaten to break a barrier within him that he never even knew existed. 

beomgyu’s eyes squeeze shut, and his voice is nothing more than a rasp as he says, “soobin, i’ll fucking kill you.” he’s surprised at how much he means it, because right now, he really could imagine stringing his dearest friend up like prized game; but soobin’s phone has long been forgotten, tangled up in his sheets as he continues to sloppily fuck you. 

“you feel so goddamn good,” soobin growls. “gonna fill you up, sweetheart.” 

you cry out wantonly, and finally, finally, beomgyu hangs up and rips his phone away from his ear as if it burns him. he’s panting now, and he’s unsure why, but his hands are shaking as he throws his poor phone at the bathroom wall, watching it shatter with reddened eyes.

he won’t let you and soobin do this to him.

-

you’re fast asleep after your passionate indulgence with soobin, snugly curled up in his sheets wearing nothing other than one of his t-shirts. soobin smiles down at you before pressing a kiss to your sweaty forehead, murmuring something about loving you. his head whips up when he hears his front door unlocking, and he carefully extricates himself from your tangled limbs, but he’s not quite fast enough to intercept beomgyu before he enters the bedroom. 

beomgyu is shaking with rage in a way soobin has never seen him do, but if beomgyu had the capacity to comprehend it, he’d notice that soobin seems surprisingly calm in what should theoretically be an unsettling situation.

beomgyu, though, is too shaken to wrap his mind around anything except for the sight of you curled up in his best friend’s bed. it’s a brutal confirmation of what he already knew, but wanted to deny. beomgyu can't bring himself to leave the bedroom, but he keeps his voice as low as he can despite his rage. he does not understand why. 

“you fucking bastard. you’re supposed to be my best friend, how could you do this? you’ve been fucking my girl’s best friend for god knows how long now, and you didn’t think to tell me?” beomgyu snarls, his voice low and dripping with venom.

“this has nothing to do with you,” soobin says flatly.

“has nothing to do with me? she may be a fucking loser, but she’s family to me, and you turned around and fucked her without asking me first?” beomgyu is filled with righteous indignation, and soobin’s incomprehensible demeanor shifts from dismissive to awed.

soobin silently stares at beomgyu with wide eyes and a gaping mouth before he incredulously asks, “oh my god, you really don't get it, do you? even after all this time… jesus, you’re either stupid or in denial.”

“what the fuck are you talking about?” beomgyu says fiercely, but soobin only sighs in exasperation.

“beomgyu, i knew you were clueless, but i didn’t think you were this clueless. look, she’s your girlfriend’s ‘best friend’, and even that is debatable, and you’re just the guy who happens to be dating her friend. so what? you won’t marry minji, won’t even officially move in with her, even after all of her ‘hints’ for ages now, so what exactly makes you family?” beomgyu falters at soobin’s words, but he doesn't back down. not yet.

“because i’ve known her for years! i’m still a part of her life, and she… she’s basically like family to me. i mean, i see her every day, i’m at every fucking holiday with her, every family dinner, and i know her better than you do.” beomgyu feels a bit pathetic having to explain his place in your life like this, but the words are still asserted with conviction. his next words, though, are not. “and she’s… she’s not like all your other flings. she’s not supposed to deal with bastards like you who only want to use her.” 

soobin, again, sighs. 

“there’s only so much shit you can do behind your ‘protective brother figure’ bullshit, but if you want to go there, we can go there. what kind of brother figure jerks off to his sister figure after he gets done fucking his girlfriend? and don’t lie, because i used to live with you, and i’ve heard you whine her name in the bathroom a million times.” beomgyu turns beet red as his jaw drops in sheer shock at the brazen accusation, no matter how true it may be; but soobin is not near finished. 

“and what guy threatens every man who ever takes an interest in a girl that's 'basically his sister’ before they can even say anything to her? you’ve been doing that shit since college, beomgyu, and the real reason you’re so scared to see her with someone else is partly because you’re terrified that they’ll turn out to be exactly what you are: obsessed—not because you’re waiting for the right guy.” beomgyu opens his mouth to retort, but he finds any words he might say dying in his throat before they can quite make it through his lips. soobin continues matter-of-factly, no room for debate.

“the rest of it is because you want to be the right guy for her, but you know you can’t be, because to her, you’re just the asshole who’s shacking up with the girl she’s hated all her life. you won’t live with minji, because that means you two would probably have to live alone, so you wouldn't be able to see the person you really want. and you won’t marry minji, because then, things would really be over, and you’d have no chance.” 

beomgyu feels like he can’t breathe, let alone speak, at soobin’s merciless deconstruction of his repressed feelings. he desperately wants to deny it, but when he looks at your sleeping form, the only thing he wants even more desperately is to hold you. you look so devastatingly beautiful like this, and he would say he wants to see you like this forever, but that’s not true. what he really wants is for your eyes to flutter open just to look at him, and for him to be the only one you see, just like you’re the only one he sees. he wants you to sleepily smile up at him before letting him touch you, hold you, kiss you, just like he’s wanted from the day he first met you. his eyes turn red as they begin to ache with unshed tears.

beomgyu swallows thickly as he feebly chokes out his next words. 

“i know. i know i'm… i’m a coward. but i love her. what am i supposed to do?” despite soobin’s unforgiving speech, beomgyu has no one else to turn to with this. he momentarily forgets that the man he’s pleading for guidance from is the very man who’s taken you away from him. and that man is now irritated.

“you're not getting it,” soobin scoffs. “you already have no chance, and you never will. instead of just approaching her like a fucking normal person, you were too much of a coward to risk being rejected, and because of that, you’ll never be anything to her. i’m not going to sit here and help you win my girlfriend over. you don't deserve her, and even if you did, i still wouldn't help you.” 

… girlfriend? girlfriend? soobin is many things, a man-whore being one of them, so beomgyu had assumed soobin was just hooking up with you behind his back. truthfully, the thought of anyone in this world having you in that way, the way beomgyu never could, makes him feel like he’s going to vomit; but to know that you’re not just one of soobin’s flings, to know that soobin sees what beomgyu’s seen in you since the moment he first laid eyes on you… that’s what truly makes him feel like he’s going to be fucking sick. 

he's angry. of course, he's angry. but more than angry, he's distraught. he’s never felt so stripped bare—naked and vulnerable for anyone with eyes to see—his usual arrogance failing to cover the ugliness that's been the crux of his true nature for longer than he can remember. he’s been exposed, belly up, with his insides torn out and put on display like a fucking frog stuck under a microscope. and all the while, soobin has been sitting and watching beomgyu squirm as he futilely tries to free himself.

“so, you… you knew how i felt this entire time, and you still got with her?” beomgyu chokes out between strained breaths. this makes soobin pause, and for the first time, he looks like he feels somewhat guilty for what he’s done.

“... yeah. yeah, i did. i thought, well, if you're never going to do anything, why can’t i? i… i’m sorry.” beomgyu knows soobin is not a malicious person, and deep down, he knows he can't blame soobin for seizing the chance to be with you. if he were in soobin’s shoes, if he had a fraction of his bravery, he’d have done the exact fucking same. but still. still, how could soobin do this to him? he could have chosen anyone else in this world, just not you. anyone but you.

“sorry? you’re sorry? you just sat there and fucking ripped me apart, and now you're telling me you’re sorry?” beomgyu accuses with a bitter laugh, his voice unconsciously raising with every word. how could soobin make him confront his unrequited love for you only to rip it out from underneath him? soobin’s supposed to be his best friend, and now he's stealing the love of his life away. but then, he supposes you were never really his in the first place. he's panting now, flushed and angry and at the very precipice of snapping into something unrecognizable. 

soobin pauses before he placatingly says, “look, i know you're overwhelmed right now, and i know you're hurting. but you—”

“are you seriously trying to fucking level with me right now?” and he's pretty much shouting now. “you don't love her the way i love her. you don't even fucking know her. i know everything about her. i know what she loves, what she hates, what she eats, what her favorite words are, what kind of medicine she prefers to take when she's feeling sick. i know fucking everything about her. you don't love her like that, you can't love her like that. nobody can love her like that, besides me!” how dare soobin say beomgyu doesn't deserve you? beomgyu has hurt you, yes, but he still loves you the most. he loves you so much, it hurts.

beomgyu feels his restless fingers aching, and though he's never really been much of a fighter, he wants to wrap them around soobin’s neck to choke some sense into him. 

but then, he hears the bed creaking. you're awake.

you rub your eyes before you sit up with the sheet precariously clasped to your chest, looking disheveled and beautiful and like everything beomgyu’s ever wanted. you're tired from your activities with soobin, but you're also a little disoriented from the wine you two drank earlier. your voice is hoarse when you ask, “beomgyu? what are you doing here? what the fuck’s going on?”

beomgyu feels his heart clench in his chest at the sight of you. he wants to shush you and cradle you to his chest as he coaxes you back to sleep, but you're not in his bed, you're in soobin's. with a longing he's never acknowledged before, he gently pleads, “c'mon, get up and get dressed. i'm getting you out of here.”

the fog over your mind clears and your eyes widen as you finally grasp how potentially cataclysmic this situation is. beomgyu is probably pissed that you're dating his best friend, and who knows what kind of machinations minji will create to tear you two apart when she finds out. you already kind of resent your parents, so if she spreads lies to them about soobin, you wouldn't really mind cutting them off; but how would that make soobin feel? and if minji wants to destroy your reputation to soobin’s friends and family, you know she'll have no trouble doing it. soobin would try to defend you, of course, but you don't want to put him through that.

beomgyu’s deeper intentions fly over your head, and you warily hiss, “what do you want from us?” 

beomgyu’s breath grows even more ragged when soobin’s shirt slips off your shoulder and he sees the mark he left on your neck. god, he wants to scrub every trace of soobin off of you, wants to erase every memory of soobin's treacherous touch from your mind. he wants to occupy every cell of your body, wants to make you forget about every other man who's dared to touch you. he tries to force the thought of what you two and soobin were doing before he got here out of his mind, but his eyes are watery as he pleads, “i want you to come home with me, okay? please? we need to get out of here, we can’t—”

“i’m not going anywhere with you,” you snap. “you're not my fucking family, you're not even my friend. you don't get to tell me what to do.” 

“don't say that, and please… please don't look at me like that.” beomgyu is fully crying now, and the haze of shock finally makes you register how distraught he looks. you're about to ask what the fuck is happening yet again, but he says something you could never imagine he’d say. 

“i love you. all i want to do is love you. please, just let me show you how much i need you, okay? just come home with me—i'm begging you.”

… love? as a pseudo-sister-in-law? you want to believe that's the case, because no matter how far-fetched the notion is, it's still a million times more believable than a romantic explanation. but even so, you simply can't dismiss the way he's looking at you like he needs you to breathe, which is certainly not platonic, let alone familial. 

you're absolutely rendered speechless, and you look to soobin for silent confirmation; but he's not calm, cool, and collected like he’d usually be. he grabs the trembling beomgyu by the collar and drags him out of his apartment. after he pushes beomgyu out of the door, he yells, “i don't give a shit about your fucked up feelings, leave us the fuck alone!” 

beomgyu is far too stunned and distressed to comprehend what's happening until the door is slammed in his face, but when his mind finally catches up, he goes from distressed to hysterical. he's bawling now, tears streaming down his reddened cheeks as he hiccups pleas to you—and threats to soobin—from outside the door amidst his frantic knocks. 

but it's not enough. he can't hear if you two are shuffling around or talking about him, even when he presses his ear to the door and tries to shush his own cries before going back to pounding on the sturdy wood. before any progress can be made—if such progress were even possible—apartment security is dragging him out of the complex and warning him not to return unless he wants to be thrown in jail.

beomgyu trudges back to his apartment. it's quite a bit of a walk from soobin’s place, but he would rather stumble home than call for a ride and risk someone seeing him like this. he cries until he can't cry anymore, and he's still shattered about it all when he finally makes it home. all he wants to do is pass out in his bed so he can briefly forget any of tonight ever happened, but he knows he'll somehow end up producing a few more waves of tears before he can do that. he unlocks his front door and he can already feel his eyes preparing for more tears to fall. 

but, like always, minji has a nearly preternatural knack of appearing when he wants to see her even less than he already does.

“beomie, baby, what's wrong?” she asks concernedly as she walks up to him from her spot on his couch and fusses over him. he knows he looks utterly defeated, like he's just got done being steamrolled, and she seems eager to console him. in a way, he thinks she's probably a bit happy to see him so vulnerable, because he never is in front of her; but he doesn't have the time to dwell on that.

he's not really sure what to say, honestly. how does he verbalize tonight's events? how does he tell her soobin uprooted his most twisted feelings for the girl minji has an equally-twisted relationship with? he decides that the best thing to do is to let her go, and that he needs to tell her the truth for once. he sighs and pries her gentle hands off of him. 

“minji, i need to tell you something,” he says shakily. 

“what is it, babe?” she asks with furrowed brows. “what's got you so worked up?” 

he pauses and bites his lip as he tries to figure out how to word things delicately. he may not like her very much, but she still deserves better than what he's given her. he settles on telling her, “i think we should break up. i just don't… don't think i'm the right person for you. i'm sorry.” 

surprisingly, she laughs. “don’t be stupid, you are the right person for me, just like i'm the right person for you.” 

beomgyu blinks as he tries to process her reaction. he finds his voice and tries again. “no, i'm not. and no, you aren't. i—”

“why?” minji interrupts. “because of your weird obsession with my ‘best friend’?”

beomgyu is speechless for the millionth time tonight. all he can seem to squeeze out of his throat is, “w-what?” 

“you heard me,” she shoots back, disturbingly calmly. “what, did you finally tell her how you feel and get rejected?”

“... what the fuck?” beomgyu gasps, too taken aback to say anything else. 

“it's been a long time coming, i guess, but i could’ve saved you the suspense and told you what she'd say,” she snorts. “you didn't have to get all worked up over nothing.”

“you… you’ve known about it all these years, and you never said anything? what the fuck is wrong with you?!” he exclaims. did everyone in the world know besides you and him? he hates the very idea of it. he hates that he's been suffering in silence, and hates that you’ve never cared enough to notice.

minji has been incredibly tame during this bizarre discussion, but now, she’s hurt, and she’ll say anything at all to hurt him back. 

“oh, please, beomgyu,” she sneers with a grating, teary laugh. “you were so fucking obvious with everything you ever did. the way your eyes trail after her like a goddamn puppy, the way you never want to hang out at your place instead of mine, the way you always get so pissed off when she wears a skirt that’s a little too short. do you think i’m stupid? do you think i don't realize that touching me makes you fucking sick? come on, beomie, you make that pretty goddamn clear with the way you only ever fuck me with the lights off, and how you only really want to touch me when she can hear us.” 

beomgyu feels like he might throw up, or maybe even pass out, he’s not sure, but he thinks he’ll find out soon. he’s utterly humiliated and disgusted with himself to a level he previously couldn’t fathom, even more so than before, but he just can’t wrap his head around one last thing.

“then why did you stay with me if you’ve known how i feel this entire time?” he asks weakly, and she lets out a scoff at his cluelessness.

“because i love you. because you belong to me. we just make sense together. she doesn't deserve someone like you, i do.” she says it like it's the most natural thing in the world—like she's mulled over her ridiculous reasoning a million times over, and she has.

“you’re… you’re fucking crazy. you don't—” 

“beomgyu, be reasonable. look at her, then look at me. nobody else in the goddamn world would pick her over me!” her words falter a bit as she says that, a few pesky tears unconsciously escaping her beautiful eyes; but she composes herself enough to continue. “listen, i know you think i'm a crazy bitch, but don't you get that i'm the only one who really understands you? i know who you really are, and it doesn't bother me. as long as you take your feelings for her and put them towards me, i won't be disgusted by you like she is. i'll accept you, no matter what. don't you want that?” 

“why the fuck would i want someone like you?!” he snarls. “you're—”

“i’m what?” she asks as tears finally fall freely from her eyes. “insane? i hate to be the one who has to break it to you, but you're just as bad as me. that's why we suit each other. from the start, you’ve only ever seen her, not me. it’s not fucking fair that she gets to have you when she doesn't even have to try! she doesn't have to try to take you from me, she doesn't have to try to get people to like her, she doesn't have to try at all. i try so hard to be perfect for you, and here you are, telling me you don't want to be with me because of someone who doesn't even like you.” 

no, no, no. this isn't how it's supposed to be. his world has been thrown off its axis in the span of one night, and he’d rather fucking die than hear another word. minji latched onto him because she couldn't comprehend someone wanting you over him, and in her own way, she loves him. and you… you're with soobin because beomgyu is a coward above all else. he wants to go back in time and never call soobin tonight, he wants to live in the thinly-veiled ignorance he's been occupying for years now, he wants to be the person he thought he was mere hours ago. lastly, he wants to feel used by minji, but he doesn't even deserve the dignity to feel that way, because he was using her right back. 

“get out,” he murmurs.

“beomie, come the fuck on. you’re letting your emotions get to your head. think about what you're doing!” minji borderline shrieks.

“you're right, you know,” beomgyu replies after a pause, and minji is temporarily relieved. she steps closer to him and tries to reach for his face, but he snatches her hands and keeps them in his firm grip as he continues. “i'm just as crazy as you are, but that doesn't make me want you. i hate myself, but i hate you, too. all your life, you've been trying so hard to be better than her, but no matter what you do, you can't force me to want you. i love her, and i'd rather keep wanting and never having her than keep pretending that i can fucking stand being around you. now get out,” he growls as he forces her out of his apartment and slams the door in her lovely face.

-

if beomgyu really thinks about it, he's always teetered right on the brink of knowing the truth, but he's been successful in fooling himself just enough to keep his feelings tamped down. when minji made a mocking comment about you losing your virginity in college, he'd gone home and cried, but he told himself it was because of the stress of finals looming over him. when he consequently spread a rumor about you being a mediocre fuck around campus, he told himself it was because anyone who'd believe him simply didn't deserve you. and when he'd zoom into the background of photos taken with minji just to get a better look at you, he told himself he was simply scrutinizing your appearance.

every time he stole your panties, he'd blame it on the taboo principle of it all rather than it explicitly having to do with you in particular. every time he’d get turned on only when you were around, he'd blame it on some secret exhibitionist kink he didn't know he had. every time he’d pretend to come in his condom during yet another unsatisfying fuck with minji, he reasoned that he was only pounding into his fist in the bathroom while imagining it was you because… well, he didn't really read into his actions for fear of what he might find.

it's a miracle he was able to live in denial for so long, and he should be grateful that the truth didn't come out sooner. still, as the weeks since the night he pathetically confessed his feelings to you pass by, he doesn't feel grateful in the slightest. he could stalk you, probably. he could threaten soobin and make him pay for what he's done. there are a million twisted things he could do to get you back in his sight, but he doesn't want to do any of them. because you wouldn't like them. because you might hate him even more than you already do. and if he's learned anything from minji, it's that you can't force someone to love you in any meaningful way.

so, he rots. he wakes up alone, goes to work on autopilot, comes straight home and drinks until he's incoherent, then goes to sleep, well, alone. he should probably try to go back to how he was before he met you, but he feels like that was another life—like he was a different person. time seems to be split before and after he met you, as much as it pains him to admit it.

it's a lonely, rainy night like any other when he's home late from work. he’s been here more in the past month than he has since he began dating minji, but he's adjusting to his newly single life as well as he can. the apartment is devoid of many personal pieces, furnished sparsely and lacking any real character. he cracks open a bottle of whiskey and begins drinking directly from it, not bothering to even use a glass. he sits on his uncomfortable couch, like he always does, and thinks about all the things he's done wrong. he doesn't even get the chance to get tipsy when he hears a knock on his door.

it's probably minji again. she's come by a few times since he dumped her, and while he could probably get a restraining order or something, he kind of enjoys seeing her suffer the way he suffered. it's not healthy, he knows, but it's one of the few forms of pleasure he feels these days. something is different tonight, though. the knocking isn't frantic, it's almost hesitant, and it doesn't last for very long. he furrows his eyebrows, and for some reason, he shoots up from the couch and rushes towards the door. his breath catches when he looks through the peephole.

there you are, standing awkwardly—almost like you're not even sure why you're there. you're drenched from the rain, and one of your arms is wrapped protectively around yourself as the other reaches towards the door, perfectly poised to knock again. just before your fist can quite make it to the door, you pause and retract it—folding it on top of your other arm. you stand still for a moment, and beomgyu is simply too stunned to move. at least, he is until you turn and begin to walk away.

with a speed he didn't even know he possessed until now, he wrenches the door open and grabs your arm before you can even react. 

“wait,” he pants, not from exertion, but from adrenaline. “what… what are you doing here?”

he thinks he sees you gulp, but that could just be wishful thinking. your lips part and close again a few times before you manage to ask, “can we talk?” 

“y-yeah, of course. um, come in,” he stammers awkwardly as he reluctantly releases his hold on you.  

what is this? some kind of psychological torture? you’ve never sought beomgyu out until now, which should give him a spark of hope, but he knows better than to delude himself. 

he steps away from the doorway to let you in and lightly shuts the door behind you. he clears his throat and asks, “if you're—do you need anything? a towel, maybe, or clothes. and i have… i have water, if you want. i mean, if you're thirsty.” he hates how fucking stupid he sounds right now, but it's almost like he can't stop talking.

you're quiet for a moment before asking, “can i have some clothes and a towel?”

his eyes widen a bit before he eagerly nods. “o-oh, yeah. just give me a second.” he tries not to sprint to his room, and he prays to god that he has clean pajamas for you. luckily, he's able to find something suitable. he returns to the living room and offers the clothes and towel to you with trembling hands. “here,” he says. “you can change in the bathroom down the hall. i… i’ll put your clothes in the dryer, okay?” 

you purse your lips and nod. he watches you pad down the hallway until you're no longer visible. he lets out a deep breath he didn't realize he was holding and seats himself on his stone slab of a couch. fuck, he should’ve gotten a better one like minji nagged him to. also, he’s been meaning to wipe down his bathroom mirror for a while. most importantly, though, what the fuck are you doing here?

he doesn't have time to dwell on it before you're walking back into the living room. his eyes snap up, and he feels a lump in his throat when he sees his clothes on you. his clothes, not soobin’s this time. it feels like he's hallucinating, to be perfectly honest, but he's fine with that. he just hopes the illusion continues.

it’s all too real when you plop down on the couch beside him, maintaining a respectful distance. fortunately, the couch is not only hard as concrete, but small to boot, so you end up only being a few inches away. maybe it isn't so bad after all. his thoughts are halted when you clear your throat and speak.

“soobin, uh… well, he told me everything he knows, but i just… i mean, i wanted to hear it from you,” you stammer. he knows exactly what you’re talking about, but he wishes he didn't.

“what do you want to know?” he asks in resignation. 

“everything,” you tell him, and he purses his lips with a stiff nod. he's had plenty of time to think about the unfortunate circumstances that led him to his sorry state, so the words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop them.

“i’ve always thought that you were so… so pretty. i saw you laughing with your friends on the way to class one day, and i knew i wanted you to look at me like that. and when i listened to you talk to your friends, i thought you were so smart, funny, and… and nice.” his lips are turned up in a wistful smile, and his eyes are uncharacteristically gentle. “but you never saw me, not really. you just saw me as minji’s friend, and i thought—i don't know—that if i just hung around her more, you'd warm up to me. i don't even think you remember, but i tried to be nice to you, to include you in conversation, to stand up for you. i swear to god, i did. but… but i saw the way you looked at someone else one day in the library. i remember it so clearly—you actually smiled at him and laughed at his jokes, and he wasn't even trying like i was. i was so fucking angry, but i thought i could make you see me if i made you as jealous as you made me, and i thought that there was nobody better to do it with than the girl you hate the most.” 

oh, god. you actually feel… kind of guilty? is guilty even the word? you haven't done anything wrong, you know that, but you feel like you've unintentionally twisted the knife in his chest with your apathy. for as much as you've always wanted him to drop his antagonizing demeanor, you don't like how pitiful he looks right now. “beomgyu, i…”

“yeah, i know. i was wrong,” he continues, his soft smile twisting into a self-deprecating one. “i went from being nothing to less than nothing, and it just… it made me desperate. so, i kept trying, got mean; but you never cared, no matter what i did. i guess i thought that if i could never have you, maybe i should stay with minji, because then i could make you feel something for me. even if it was only hatred and disgust—anything was better than nothing.”

“beom—” you begin to say, but he's so lost in his feelings, so lost in the foreign sensation of talking to you and actually having you listen to him, he can't stop himself.

“i just wanted you to pay attention to me. and i could—you know—keep an eye on you. but you… you don't give a shit about me, you don't even consider me as a man,” he laughs. “if i think about it, maybe i was trying to make myself an option for you, at least, and that i could show you what you're missing if i tried hard enough. but you could never actually see me that way, and… and it's all my fault.” he lets out another harsh laugh, making you wince. 

“i… i didn't know,” you say awkwardly. he takes a shaky breath before continuing.

“i've been begging for you just to give me scraps of you, because i thought it'd be better than nothing. all i ever wanted was for you to at least consider me, but you don't, you never did, and because of what i've done, you never will. i know i was wrong, i know everything is my fault; but i just wanted to be important to you, can't you understand that?” his eyes are pleading like they were when you last saw him. he's not asking for much, not even really asking for anything, and for some reason, it hurts your heart a bit.

because beomgyu is right, of course. you’ve never really cared about him, but that's not all of it, is it? you were resolved to your indifference before he even uttered a word to you, and while the disgust you've always felt for him is his fault, can you truthfully say that you’d have given him the time of day if he were nice to you? probably not, because of his association with minji. in your mind, there was no reason he’d like you if he knew her first, so his intentions were rejected before he could ever even understand them.

“i really didn't know,” is all you can think to repeat.

“i know,” he says with a bitter smile. you lick your lips before continuing.

“but i do know that i wouldn't have liked you even if you were nice to me. i don't… i don't talk to guys who are involved with minji. there's just… no point, i guess. and she liked you, and i thought you liked her, so… so i didn’t bother to get to know you.” beomgyu’s eyes are watery, but he retains his smile. he was doomed from the start, it seems. 

“i should’ve just talked to you myself instead of using her to get close to you,” he whispers.

“yeah,” you reply, and his smile finally drops; but what else could you possibly say? if he hadn't gotten involved with minji, you'd have probably liked him. he's handsome, of course, and you can't deny that he's funny. and, well, you two do seem to have a lot in common based on what you know from small talk he'd make with your parents during family dinners.

“i'm sorry,” he murmurs. “i'm really, really sorry. even if you didn't like me, even if you never would've no matter what, i shouldn't have treated you the way i did. i don't blame you for hating me, and i should be grateful you haven't done anything other than ignore me.” he means what he says, but it doesn't sound like it, because he doesn't feel grateful at all. he feels utterly hopeless. in the end, your indifference was more painful than any intentional retaliation could’ve been. 

you are silent. he's not trying to make you feel sorry for him, and you know it, but that makes you feel even sorrier. you're still struggling to form an appropriate response when he breaks the silence.

“i like listening to you talk,” he blurts out, making your eyes widen. “well, you don't really talk to me, but i overhear you a lot. i like listening to everything you say, and i like the way you say it. i like how you look, how you dress, how you laugh. and i… i like how you see the world.”

“don't you think i'm a little pessimistic?” you ask, your lips subconsciously curling up in a small smile. of all the things beomgyu could tell you he likes about you, that is truly something you never anticipated.

“i think it makes you interesting,” he says quickly, his smile tentatively returning. 

you let out a soft laugh—the first one you've ever directed at him—and he can't help but straighten up with a bit of pride at having made you happy, even if just a little.

after your laughter, though, you think back on all the things you've wanted to ask beomgyu since that night at soobin’s. you know he'll tell you the truth, so you ask, “... were you the one who messed with my stuff?”

“yeah,” he replies with no hesitation. the sheer ecstasy of your attention makes him quite forthcoming, no matter how ugly the answers to your questions may be.

“even my panties?” well, that one is a bit more difficult to answer. 

“... yeah,” he sheepishly mumbles after a pause, but his next words are hurried. “and everything soobin said i did, i did. scaring guys away, being an asshole to you for attention, uh, jerking off to you in the bathroom… all of it. i know i'm fucked up, and i know i probably scare you, but i would never hurt you. i just want to love you. i just… i want you to care about me.” 

you take a breath and begin, “i—”

“wait! before you say anything, i just want you to know, it's… it's okay if you don't like me,” you can tell the words are like lead in his mouth, “but can't you just acknowledge me a little bit?” christ, he's so pathetic. you're not used to him being so… sweet? to you, but maybe you could be. 

for as much as beomgyu has been thinking about his failed confession, you can't lie and say you haven't been thinking about it, too. you really did love soobin, but there was always a bit of reservation on both of your parts—a quiet kind of affection that you were happy to let grow organically; but your love was never all-consuming, never desperate, never aching. but beomgyu… beomgyu looks like he'd prostrate himself at your feet if it meant you'd give him the time of day, and he would. 

“i can,” you say simply, and his eyes widen.

“you… you can? what do you—”

“i can pay attention to you. i can care about you.”

his face tenses and his adam’s apple bobs. his voice is strained when he asks, “what are you saying?”

“i'm saying, i’m willing to get to know you the way you know me. i just want to see how things go, because… i don't know, i kind of... like how weird you are.” 

elation, triumph, and sheer relief overwhelm him. he doesn't want to ask his next question, but he feels like he has to. “what about soobin?”

you purse your lips and answer, “we… we broke up. no hard feelings, we just kind of realized we wanted different things out of our relationship, i guess.”

“oh, thank god,” he murmurs as he releases a shaky breath. theoretically, he should at least offer perfunctory condolences, but you two are way past such insincerity. you both know he's over the moon right now, and he's spent more than enough time lying.

only now do you notice that he's somehow managed to scoot closer and closer to you until your legs are touching without your knowledge. the clothing between you doesn't do anything to tamp down the buzzing sensation at the tentative contact. you look back up at him to meet his gaze, and his eyes are trained on you like you're the only person in the world. now that you think about it, you’ve caught glimpses of this kind of focus before—the kind of focus in which he looks at you as if everything and everyone else besides you has faded away.

his gaze flicks from your eyes down to your lips before refocusing. he leans in so close, you can see every minute detail of his face. long lashes, round eyes, slightly-chapped lips he keeps on licking from sheer nervousness. 

his voice is barely above a whisper when he asks, “please, can i…” he doesn't dare to finish his question, so there it hangs, unspoken yet unfathomably heavy. 

it’s like there’s a strange sort of magnetic pull drawing you to him. before you can recount all of the reasons why this is a bad idea—at least, so soon—you tell him, “okay.” 

that's more than enough, it seems, because in a flash, beomgyu cups your cheeks in his big, warm hands and tenderly traces his thumb along your jaw before pulling you in. 

the first meeting is pure electricity. your lips immediately slot together as if they were always meant to be that way—as if everything else was simply an obstacle leading to this inevitability. the hums of energy you feel at your clothed legs touching is nothing compared to the way every nerve in your body is set ablaze right now. you feel him shudder before he reluctantly pulls away. his eyes never leave yours, and the look in his eyes is so intense—so hungry—you feel breathless under its weight.

“thank you, i've been wanting to do that for forever,” he mutters breathlessly, and he should be finished by now, but his hands remain on your face. he gently pushes your hair behind your ears before adding, “can i… can i show you what else i've been wanting to do? i swear, i'll be perfect, and i'll stop whenever you want. i know it's fast to you, but it's not to me. i just… i want you to feel how much you mean to me. but… but i won't push you.” he’s serious about that, you know, but he looks like he'll die if you don't let him prove himself to you. his cheeks are flushed, and if his squirming weren't enough, the obvious tent in his sweatpants tells you everything you need to know. 

for the second time tonight, you take a deep breath and say, “okay.”

“oh,” he groans as he pulls you back in for another kiss. this one is much more fierce, utterly insatiable. his tongue licks your bottom lip, begging for entry, and you eagerly oblige. he moans into your mouth as his tongue tangles with yours, trying to commit every centimeter to memory. he’s embarrassingly hard humiliatingly fast, but he’s fantasized about this for so long, who can blame him? 

when you two break for air, his eyes are darkened with lust as he gulps and asks, “can i—” 

before he can finish, you cut him off by palming him through his sweatpants. the groan he releases is utterly guttural and animalistic in nature, and you carefully add, “do whatever you want.”

his breath catches in his throat at the permission, and with shaky hands and unsteady steps, he leads you to his bedroom. you're on the bed in an instant, and in mere moments, he's stripped you of the clothes he gave you to wear. you feel a bit uncomfortable, honestly, knowing he’s probably comparing you to minji; but before you can dwell on it, he's gulping and reverently whispering, “you're the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.”

before you even have the time to feel shy or embarrassed, his hands are all over you—your chest, your hips, your ass—but he won't let himself get lost in clumsy touches and lose sight of his ultimate goal: making you feel better than you ever have. he kisses down your jaw and throat before planting a searing mark at the base of your neck. he soothes the sting with his tongue, outwardly apologizing for the slight pain, but internally, he's buzzing with excitement at the prospect of leaving something tangible on you—something that ties you to him.

his mouth purposefully trails down to your chest, sucking on one peak and teasing the other before switching over. he beams into your chest when he hears you moan. slowly, he pops his mouth off and briefly kisses you again before planting kisses down your stomach, and finally, finally, finally, to your core. you're not sure how much time has passed, but you do know you've never been so wet before in your life. he spreads your legs open and groans when he sees you glistening for him. then, he looks up at you with watery eyes. there's yet another question there, you can see it, so you spread your legs a bit wider in a silent invitation. 

suddenly, his lips are buried in your folds. he leaves kisses, but try as he might, he doesn't have the wherewithal to control his hunger. when he takes his first lick, you feel an infernal heat beginning to consume you completely. he moans in pure ecstasy when he tastes you, and you can feel the vibrations reverberating through your cunt, your legs, your entire body. 

“so fucking good,” he whispers, his breath warm against your naked lips, and that's all the warning you get before he begins to lick you and suck up your slick as if he were a starving man.

you can't help but writhe beneath him as his tongue circles over your clit, and he removes one of the hands he was using to keep you spread open for him and presses it on your lower stomach to keep you in place. his other arm remains firmly locked around your thigh, nearly bruising you with his desperate grip. you've never had a man eat you out like you were showing him the greatest kindness of his life by doing so, but he clings to you so hungrily, you know that in his mind, you are. 

you begin to reach your peak far too quickly, and you think you moan something about being close—you're not really sure—when he slides his tongue into your hole and begins to thrust it in and out. his nose remains buried in your cunt, and you let out a cry of his name as patches of white explode behind your eyelids. he looks up at you as you come, his eyes shining with awe and pride. 

as you're coming down, he licks his upturned lips and dazedly whispers, “you came. i did that for you. i made you feel good, right?”

you let out a soft laugh and breathlessly reply, “yes, that was… you made me feel really good. so… what else do you want to show me?” 

his eyes go from innocent to dark again as he processes your words. he anxiously bites his lip as he slowly pulls off his shirt, then his sweatpants and boxers. his cock is painfully hard, pathetically leaking with precum and even redder than usual—because of the way he was humping the bed mere moments ago as you were lost in the haze of getting the best oral of your life. 

it’s pretty, just like every other part of him, and you have no doubt that he'll stretch you out nearly beyond what you'll be able to handle. it twitches traitorously with need as he stares at you, still dripping into his previously-crisp sheets. he unsteadily grabs his base and looms over you as he begins to tease himself up and down your cunt. he shudders at the contact, but he keeps his eyes locked with yours. he wants to watch every minuscule movement in your face as he finally, finally makes you understand how much he can do for you.

he begins to push in, one hand braced beside your head as his fat tip breaches your entrance. you both let out strangled cries at the insertion, and it takes every ounce of willpower and luck he can muster to not come immediately. he's jerked his cock raw for countless nights wishing he were fucking you, and here you are, looking up at him like he's the only thing you see. just like he's always longed for. it's an intoxicating sensation. 

“you're so fucking tight,” he groans as he works himself in. “so perfect around me.”

he draws himself out before thrusting in a little further. then again. then again. each time, he gains a bit more of you, splitting you open further and further with every movement of his hips. his veiny cock drags against the most pleasurable spot in your cunt every time. he's whimpering now, and he'd be shy in any other context, but not right now. he's fucking a girl raw for the first time, and not just any girl, the girl. the girl he’s wanted since… well, always. he couldn't care less about the fact that he sounds like a whore.

when he pulls out and slams back in again, he's finally completely sheathed in you. his eyes roll back in absolute pleasure as he lets out a guttural moan. you, on the other hand, feel so full, feel so right, you're writhing beneath him. with a shuddering breath, beomgyu pulls out almost completely before drilling into you again and again. his pace is frantic—carnal, even. when you thread your fingers in his hair, he lets out a desperate whine. 

“you feel so—mm, fuck!—so perfect. squeezing me so fucking tight, i can't—oh, god!” he babbles as he pounds himself into you. he has just enough awareness to take his skilled fingers and roll your clit as he loses himself in you. he keeps up his brutal pace in an act of frenzy.

“never—nngh—never wanna stop,” he whines as tears begin to pool in his eyes. they fall completely when you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in for a filthy kiss. he tastes like you, and you realize you like it that way. you realize you like how pathetic he is, how much he’s loved you all this time, how much he needs you. you break from him and sink your teeth into his neck like he did to you, marking him as your own, and he lets out an animalistic cry he did not know he was capable of making.

“fuck, yes, yes, yes!” he cries out as his aching balls slap against you with every thrust. “please, please come. need to feel you—ah!—feel you come on my cock.”

his gaze finally parts from yours to look at your stomach. how nice would it be to be one with you completely? as much as he wants to, he can't stay inside of you forever, can't enmesh his body with yours, but he can become a part of you in a different way. he can plant his seed in your stomach, can mix his dna with yours in a physical, living, breathing product of his love for you—if he's fortunate enough. that way, he’ll be tied to you the way he never wanted to be tied to minji, and you’ll be tied to him just the same. but you haven't even agreed to date him. you're just lost in lust, right?

“i’m… i’m gonna come,” he pants as he continues to work your clit and fuck you like a crazed man. “have to pull out.” the words are almost painful to say, but he grits his teeth and says them, anyway.

shockingly, you wrap your legs around his waist and say between labored breaths, “you don't have to.” 

the whine he lets out is laughably emasculating, but he doesn't care. he fucks you even more fiercely and rolls your clit with even more desperation, and you can feel the tension in your stomach about to snap. you let out a broken moan of his name as you come undone beneath him, your mind flooding with nothing but unmarred bliss, and your cunt clenching around him so suffocatingly, he can barely even thrust.

“oh, sh-shit!” he cries out as his orgasm throws his world off-kilter. his cum floods your insides then—thick and hot—and he can feel you squeezing him for every last drop. he gives a few more weak thrusts before collapsing on top of you. you both pant in exhaustion, but once he catches his breath, he buries his face into the crook of your sweaty neck.

“i love you so fucking much,” he whispers, his breath making your skin tingle. he pulls away and looks up at you. “and you… you’ll love me back. i'll make sure everything—i won't let anything go wrong. and if minji tries anything, i'll ruin her fucking life. i swear, i'll be perfect. i'll be the perfect boyfriend, husband, father of—”

“tone down the crazy,” you warn as you lightly pinch his cheek. 

“s-sorry, i just got excited,” he blushes. “but i mean it, you know? i won't waste this, i promise. i'll be good for you every day, and i’ll show you how much i love you until you feel the same way. and our family—i mean, your family, they might be mad, but we'll deal with whatever happens, okay? and if they can't accept us, then we always have my family. they won't treat you badly, i swear.” he means it. his family doesn't even really know minji, and when they did meet her, they didn't care for her. 

beomgyu is looking at you with his watery, pleading eyes, and you know he'd give you the entire world if you let him. if yours and minji’s families hate you after this, he’ll be your family, and you kind of hate your family, anyway. he loves you, and oddly enough, you can really see things working out just as he says they will. 

you can't help but let out a tired laugh. “okay, i believe you.”

he groans in relief as he kisses you again, deeply and tenderly and lovingly, and you can see yourself falling in love with him, too. 

notes pt. 2: i hope u all liked this one! it's been a while since i've written beomgyu this way and i kinda missed him. ik i'm not the best at writing him but pls dont be mean. and again if u enjoyed this please leave feedback!

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[gracieheartspedro]

Lotus Eater | chapter 2- 3.2k words

my main masterlist - eddie masterlist - series masterlist

previous chapter - next chapter

summary: eddie's your ride to school. life can't get any worse.... can it?

warnings: slow burn, 18+ mdni, mentions of bullying, abusive parents, food aversion, eating food in general, playing the lottery, reader has hair but not specified style, eddie drives fast, reader is constantly annoyed by him, nicknames (sunshine, he loves sunshine, sweetheart, etc).

a/n: hiii friends. chapter 2 is here. i'm working through this fic pretty steadily. let me know your thoughts! if you want to be added to the tag list, just let me know! <3

A routine settles in rather quickly. 

After you and Eddie realize that the battery needs to be replaced in your piece of shit car, you call your mom at the diner and had her add you on for some evening shifts. You would be helping with dinner rushes on Fridays and working doubles on the weekends, if the hours allowed it. 

This meant that without a car, you were now relying on Eddie to take you to and from school. And you disliked almost every second spent with him. Every morning it was the same conversation. 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” He would say. 

“Don’t call me that,” you would respond. 

“Why?” He would ask. 

“Because I’m not… that,” you would retort.

“Right… okay. Remind me not to speak to Miss Cranky-Pants in the mornings.”

And then the morning would be tuned out to some metal tape he had inserted into his radio. 

After a week, he started stopping by the mini-mart right down the street from school and would pick himself up some mini chocolate donuts. And for some reason, he was adamant about buying you something to eat. The first time he tried, you told him you already ate, which was a bald-faced lie. He saw straight through you and brought you a pack of the same donuts he liked. You confessed you were not into chocolate donuts, you much preferred the powdered ones. 

So every morning now, he would come out with a plastic bag with a new pack of cigarettes, two sleeves of mini donuts, and a Yoohoo. You absolutely refused to drink one of those things, much to Eddie’s dismay.

You would accept the donuts, never opening them. You just threw them into your backpack, letting them pile up in the front pocket.

During school hours, you began your journey as being completely friendless. Kacey has completely iced you out, even making jokes about you as you pass her locker. Gabe has her wrapped around his finger and all of his stupid jock friends used you as their newest target. You had paper thrown at you in math, people asking you jokingly where you bought your stained jeans from, and one guy even tripped you when trying to leave for the parking lot after school. 

You do not understand where you went wrong. The only thing that could have triggered all of this is you asking Kacey what drugs she was taking during class. But now you are the butt of everyone’s joke. 

You started to just keep your head down, avoiding the cafeteria, and biting your tongue when you heard snarky remarks about you in hushed tones. 

Eddie noticed something was awry after a couple of weeks. 

You do not know how, but one ride home in the afternoon he breaks the silence by pestering you about where you sat at lunch. 

“I don’t see you hanging out with that girl you usually hang out with.”

You swallow your pride. 

Only because you honestly wanted to talk about it with someone. Your pent-up anger was silently bridled deep within the pits of your stomach, waiting to explode. You could not talk to your parents and having no siblings gave you no outlet to just vent about it all. While you did not consider Eddie much of anything, besides maybe an acquaintance, he was now a listening ear for 20 minutes of the day when he took you to and from school. 

“She’s not really my friend anymore.”

You can taste the bile in the back of your throat. It still tears you up inside that you did not have the Kacey you once knew and adored. She was lost, straying too far from where she once was.

His eyes glance over at you and then back at the back road that leads directly to your shared neighborhood. “Do you… want to talk about it?”

Hearing him pose the question causes you to retract back into yourself. You were not sure you were able to formulate the emotions into words quite yet. You thought the feelings all the time, but you were never good at putting them into a cohesive string of words. 

You study Eddie’s side profile for a moment, trying to muster up enough confidence to express yourself genuinely. 

The courage falters as soon as his brown eyes meet yours. 

“I don’t think so.”

And the conversation ends there.

-

When Friday evening rolled around, you got dressed for work and piled into your Mom’s old Chevy to head for a night shift at the diner.

Arriving there felt like a judge reading you your death sentence. The place was packed already at 4:30. You wrap a partially stained apron around your waist and get to taking tables. Most of the older folks were kind, tipping you extra when you told them you were just getting back into the swing of working again. 

But once 8:00 hit, the kids spilling out from the Hawkins High football game started piling into your booths. You were very overwhelmed when you got the 10 top and everyone wanted something different to drink. You stood at the soda fountain for 5 minutes, trying to not give yourself a headache remembering what every kid wanted. 

When you deliver everyone their drinks, you jot down their food orders. Luckily everyone pretty much wanted burgers and chicken tenders, which would save you and the cooks more stress. When you ring in everyone’s desired meals, you go to the back door and stand outside for a moment, trying to rake in the fresh air. 

You were drowning. 

Everything literally went wrong in less than a week. You had no car, no friends, had to return to the job you despised, and there was no end in sight. 

You try to take some deep breaths, closing your eyes to recenter yourself. You needed to get a grip. You did not have time to mope and freak out. You had to deal with it.

You walk back inside, your jaw tightened with tension. When the bell dings that your food is ready to be run, you do just that. 

-

You worked a double on Saturday and Sunday, occupying your entire weekend with annoying customers and your nagging mother. 

She was now requiring you to pay her $10 every time she drove you somewhere, including the diner. It was just another way for her to manipulate and take advantage of your hard work which is something she’s always done. You had no choice, forking out $40 by the end of the two days. 

You knew that this was the way things would always be with your parents. No give, all take. You had spent most of your life being the person they needed you to be. They did not care about your grades, no, they cared if you cleaned the house. Did their laundry. Made sure the lawn was mowed. You could swear to whatever God that they only had you to have their own personal housekeeper. 

Your mom was particularly vicious. She has never said one nice thing to you, always reminding you that you would just be stuck in the same awful cycle she was in. Poverty. Having kids young. Dead-end jobs. 

You were set up to fail by your parents, and that’s why you wanted to get out so badly. 

Your college applications will be hand-delivered to the post office the moment you finish them. You needed out. You would get out. 

On Monday morning, you wake up early to take a long shower in the morning. You could still smell the fryer’s grease on your body and it made you feel disgusting. You practically scrub your skin raw trying to rid the fried scent for a vanilla lavender smell. 

You get dressed, not even bothering to dry your hair. Your hair dryer was partially broken anyway. You needed to get outside before Eddie, wanting to give your hair some time to dry in the chilly morning breeze. You step out the door, you instantly curl your arms around yourself. The wind was sharper, more crisp than the morning before. Dead winter would be here in no time.

You shoot a glance over to Eddie’s trailer, seeing his uncle occupying the front porch. 

Wayne was a nice guy. Kind of standoffish, but every conversation you have ever had with the man was always pleasant. 

You do not know why, but you start walking across the street, gravel crunching under your sneakers.

“Mornin’, Mr. Munson,” You croak, clearing your throat as he puffs his cigarette.

“Hey there,” He blows some smoke out of the side of his lip, “Heard Eddie’s been takin’ you to school.”

You nod, eyes flickering between him and the makeshift ashtray on a cardboard box to his left, “Yeah, he’s been kind enough to take me since my car’s not running.”

He furrows his graying eyebrows, “Battery bad?”

“Yeah, and I think something with the alternator. Or somethin’. I’m not 100% sure.”

His face relaxes a bit as he leans back in the plastic chair. He takes a breath, about to say something, but the front door opens and Eddie walks out. His eyes lock onto yours in an instant, smirking a bit at your appearance.

“No time to dry your hair, sunshine?” He taunts, tossing his backpack over his shoulder. You want to laugh at his bold assumption, but instead, you just roll your eyes, looking at Wayne. 

“Good mornin’ to you, too, Eddie.”

Wayne chuckles a bit at your response, ashing out his cigarette. “You always have a way with words, son.”

Eddie pats his shoulder, a shit-eating grin taking up most of his face. 

“Thanks, man. I learned from the best.”

“Wasn’t me,” He grumbles, standing up with a grunt, “Don’t let him make you believe that, girl.”

Your face twists into a sly smirk, “No need to worry, Mr. Munson.”

Wayne wishes you two a good day and heads back into the confines of his trailer. You look at Eddie as he leans against the banister of the small front porch. He drops down a step, giggling like a little kid. You get a whiff of his cologne as soon as the wind picks up. It’s strong but the masculine scent is unobjectionable. Eddie never particularly smelled bad, just sometimes the cologne mixed with the smell of marijuana and made his jean jacket smell stale. 

Why were you analyzing his fragrance anyway?

“I didn’t mean to take a jab at you, by the way. Your hair looks good,” He swallows his Adam’s apple bobbing. He brings you out of your own thoughts as his brows drop, his expressive face now stern, “I mean y-you look good-”

“Save it. It’s fine, Eddie.”

But his compliment makes goosebumps crawl across your skin. The way he’s looking at you, almost admiringly, is disabling your ability to swallow. You have never felt your face flush before, but the burning of your cheeks gives you away rather quickly. You turn away from him, your feet crushing the broken concrete under your shoes. 

“We can’t be late, let’s get a move on.”

-

Eddie stops for his YooHoo and donuts, but this time he does not bring you powder donuts. He hands you a lotto scratcher and some fruit snacks. When he drops it in your lap, your first instinct is to gasp. 

“Saw you eating those suckers in the hall last week,” He mumbles, shoving his glass bottle of chocolate ‘drink’ in his cup holder. He slams his door before he starts up the engine again. 

It makes you smile to think that he watched you munching on your favorite snack in between classes. It is weirdly thoughtful, something you do not really expect from him. You grab the lotto ticket, holding it up. 

“And this?”

He chuckles, ripping open his pack of donuts with his teeth, animalistically. “Maybe you’ll get lucky and not have to work at the diner.”

Another randomly thoughtful thing. 

Instead of reading into the intentions of the gesture, you grab a penny from his tray of change and start to follow the instructions on the scratcher. 5 even numbers in a row and you win $500. You start randomly scratching the rows of numbers, knowing that you will not win much if anything. These things were one in a million chances. 

You start to get hope when you get 22, 34, 12, and 6. One more even number and you would not have to work at the diner anymore. To think that Eddie would have solved all your issues with a $2 lottery ticket. 

7. 

“Fuck!” You groan, slamming the penny back into the pile of miscellaneous change. 

“Not a winner?” He giggles, pushing his second donut in 5 seconds into his mouth. Some crumbles of chocolate fall from his lips, which makes you cringe. 

“First, chew with your mouth closed,” You wave at him with your pointer finger, “And second, yeah. Only four even numbers and not five like it wants.”

He covers his mouth with his ring-clad hand, chewing obnoxiously loudly. He swallows his sweet breakfast before he speaks, “I’m sorry, sunshine. There’s always next time!”

“I am not playing ‘til I win.”

He licks the tips of his fingers, ridding them of the chocolate layer. You don’t know why, but the way his rings catch the light, you find yourself almost hypnotized by the way his fingers move toward his lips. 

He snatches the ticket from you, looking at the bold font and scrunching his nose. “Well, I am.”

-

You kept your head down all day. You skipped lunch and decided that time at the library would be a better option. When you sit down at a table, you notice the crew of kids beside you get up and snicker something about you. You eye them carefully and realize one of the girls is friends with Gabe. He really had everyone believing you were the worst person to ever exist. At this rate, you were going to beat out Eddie on being the biggest loser in school. 

You get to his van later than usual, getting caught up in last period and ensuring your microscope was put away correctly. You are practically sprinting across the parking lot, nervous that he may just leave without you. 

He’s chainsmoking a cigarette, leaning up against his hunk of metal. He does not catch your eye immediately, as he’s chatting to Gareth and waving his arms around like a madman. Eddie’s very animated, especially when he has the space to flail his arms around. He’s pretty good about keeping his hands near himself when you are in the car with him. 

You exhale a loud sigh as you arrive at his side, your hands pressing into your hips. 

“Did you run here?” Eddie asks as he lets smoke twirl out of his mouth. Gareth must have seen you running and just nods for you. You nod along with him, inhaling a big breath and then releasing it when your lungs stop burning. 

“I didn’t want you to leave without me,” You pant, shifting your gaze away from the two boys. The idea that you relied so heavily on Eddie was making you nervous. If you got stuck here, half the school would refuse to give you a ride and you would have to walk home 5 miles. It would be as equally annoying as it was unsafe. 

Eddie smirks, taking another drag of his cigarette. Gareth grins knowingly, tucking his hands in his dark denim. 

“I ain’t ever gonna leave without you, princess. I can guarantee that.” 

-

“You need to slow down!”

It was the one-millionth time you were yelling at Eddie to manage his speed. He was always flying down the back roads even though he had no reason to be in a rush. He just liked going fast.

His twisted expression throws you off this time. He reaches out, slapping your thigh playfully, “Aw, passenger princess getting nervous going 45 in a 25?”

You instantaneously smack his hand away, much harder than he patted you. You were not getting nervous, you just did not want to run the risk of Eddie getting pulled over and your mom not waiting around for you to arrive home to go to work. You needed the money and the anxiety of missing out because Eddie gets a ticket is stressing you out. 

You tighten your jaw, “Yes! You’re gonna get pulled over!”

Your raised voice makes his face droop a bit in regret. Eddie was pretty good at reading when you were over the teasing. On rare days, he would continue on and mock your projected voice, which would lead to you completely icing him out. And if there’s one thing Eddie hated, it was you completely ignoring him. He thrived on getting a reaction, sure, but he enjoyed casual conversation with you even more than that. 

“Fine,” He raises his foot off the gas, slowing down to a cool 30 miles per hour, “Only because I have sunshine in the car. Don’t want you to get your panties in a twist.”

You huff, trying to not get annoyed by his jab, but it starts to eat at you immediately. His words are like a soundboard of your Dad. Always making you sound more dramatic and obnoxious than what you really were. 

“Stop calling me that. No sweetheart. No sunshine.”

As if to twist the knife, Eddie whispers under his breath, “You need to smoke a joint or something, you’re so tense all the time, sunshine.”

You grit your teeth, eyes darting over to him, “Weed fries your brain.”

He scoffs, smacking his steering wheel as if to take his annoyance out on it. “It does not!”

“You are a classic example. My Dad is an even better example,” You explain, crossing your arms over your stomach. You cock your brow, which Eddie catches the moment he finally looks at you.

He smiles and it makes your skin crawl. It was virtually impossible to get under this man’s skin fully and it bothered you. “You are not giving me any credit, sweets.”

“Do I suddenly need to? All you do is smoke and sit around. A lot like my Dad, except he has a real job.”

That gets him. You watch as he flicks on his turning signal and clears his throat. You render him speechless for a moment as he pulls down the gravel pathway. His eyes slowly blink as he pulls into his driveway and throws the van in park. He huffs, dramatically and pointedly. 

“Jesus, you really know how to knock a guy down a peg.”

You had enough of him at that point. “Just stating the obvious.”

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[emoisthenewemu]

YUTA OKKOTSU SMAU SERIES

SUMMARY: My man! My man! My man!

pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5, pt6, pt7

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You don't think you've ever felt this nervous in your life. You sit on your bed, wrapped up in a fluffy blanket as you pick at the skin at your fingernails. Heart pounding so loud you can hear it, taking deep breaths in and out. Somehow, the anticipation of knowing you and Yuta are about to confess to each other—finally certain that the two of you are on the same page, makes it all so much more nerve wrecking. So many things can happen now, what if it ends bad? What if things don't work out and you go back to being strangers? How could you ever be okay with that? And although you are ninety nine point nine percent positive he likes you back (because, duh) there will always be that little voice in your mind which works hard to convince you that you are about to embarrass yourself.

So when you hear someone fumble with the door handle, having left it unlocked for him you swear the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. In he walks, in baggy pajama pants and some graphic tee shirt of a horror movie you've never seen, his hair is rustled, a small smile on his face as it feels like all the negative thoughts have left his body.

All except one, an idea which cannot be entertained right now.

You can't help but laugh at the idea that this is the boy who is making you feel so nervous that your hands tremble, you clasp them together in an attempt to keep your cool. He doesn't look so intimidating as he saunters over, immediately wrapping his arms around your waist.

This hug feels more intimate than others, the closeness at which he holds you leaves not a single gap of space between your bodies. His head nuzzles itself into the crevice of your neck, exhaling a deep breath that feels as if he had been holding it the entire day. "Yn" Is all he says, almost as if to remind himself who the hell is latched onto. His hand slides to your hip, you watch curiously as he untucks himself from the comfort of your soft skin. "I like you"

Oh, he is wasting no time. You expected to dance around the subject a little longer than this. Your breath catches in your throat, unable to say anything.

"And I'm tired of.....hiding from it" Lying is the word he would rather say. The confession is on the tip of his tongue but he cannot find it in himself to do it. Especially not when he is finally certain he may have a chance with you. He would do anything for just a moment of your time. "I've liked you since I started at this school...and I thought if I would just ignore it that it would go away. Or maybe I'd just wait until we graduated but by then you'd probably have a boyfriend which means I'd never get a shot but I was fine with that. I-I've never been with someone before. I don't know how to be a boyfriend but I want to learn for you. I wanna buy you flowers and make you feel special. I want to be the only person who makes you feel that way"

You are silent, too quiet that it makes him nervous. You aren't even smiling, just staring right at him. "Are you sure?" Out of all the things you could have said-he is confused that is the reaction. As if the speech was not a plea enough.

He practically laughs in your face. "Did you not hear  a word I said?" He wipes his sweaty palms down the side of his pants again. "Is the sky blue?"

"Well don't be a smart ass" A smile tugs at the corners of your lips, cocking your head to the side as you study the way it seems like every part of his body has tensed up in anticipation for an answer. "A-and Rika? She's okay with it?"

The fact that it would even come across your mind to ask a question like that lets him know that he is choosing the right person for him. You are so considerate and kind hearted, it is the thing he admires most about you. "Of course she is" He stops for a moment to think. "If she wasn't then I think we'd know by now"

The boy takes a step forward, heart beating fast but his mind feels calm. He brings a shaky hand up to cup your cheek and leans in—until he pauses and takes a shark breath in. Furrowing his eyebrows, he tries to fight the quiver of his voice. "C-can I kiss you?"

You gulp, suddenly back to being the shy one. Maybe the two of you can bond through that awkward feeling. The fine line between rushes of emotion that make you bold before reverting back to your usual self. Things with Yuta have been a rollercoaster to say the least, you'd like to indulge in the fact that you finally have what you want.

So before you can even let the words leave your mouth you grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in for a kiss that certainly takes his breath away. Uncertain of where to put his hands, they rest uneasily at his sides. When you pull apart they gravitate to the place they need to be the most, cupping either side of your head to ensure he can get the best view of every square inch of your face.

Breathless, he speaks. "You're the most beautiful girl in the whole world yn"

You are honest in your emotion, a thing you have always cowered away from until now. Perhaps it is a growing point for both of you. He showers you with compliments the rest of the night, gazes into your eyes with nothing but pure adoration as you rub the skin on his aching forehead. He always looks so exhausted when you see him, it makes you worry.

So you make a promise to yourself—and to Rika. As Yuta lay asleep on your chest, your manicured nails lazily scratching his scalp you say it out loud, just to make sure she can hear you.

"Rika....I promise I'll take good care of him" You can feel the slight shift of cursed energy wavering through the air, as if she is trying to communicate something to you. "I have enough room in my heart for both of you"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

TAGLIST: @loveyislost @ravenbc @practicoi @chiefinvestigatoremma @gradmacoco @yuzurixx @pumpkintoad @digitaltrippers @sexylexy12 @sttaejoon-blog @galactacium @kekeanna266 @jfbwiwndinrkaidbrnskzhr @2dmenfr @love-me-satoru @kaidostwin @timascorner @artsjiwoo @underlinedkasis @lightbluefog @seleyaaaa @isuckatmakingnames @restrictionsapply @domainexpansionmypants @masternutswag

@tryingtofeelbetteraboutmywriting @isuckatmakingnamess

LMK IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED!

[mysteryfawn]

Hihi!! So I was thinking about a highschooler c00lkidd and a nerdy y/n that are in the same classes as him, and here's my request: Scenario where C00lkidd and Y/N are doing homework together and then they decide to gossip about other stuff :3

HI HII!! I'M SO SO SO SORRY, I'VE BEEN CAUGHT UP WITH SCHOOL LATELY- will be writing all requests now!!

Chalk scraped through the blackboard, every movement making the irritating noise louder and sharper. Yet the whispers of students inside the class somehow overrode it. The teacher, writing math equations, constantly looked at the clock, as they only had two minutes of class time left.

A forced cough drew the teenagers’ attention to the adult, who waited and anticipated what she had to say. “Unfortunately, my time is running out, so… For tomorrow, please solve these two Imaginary number equations! It’ll be a part of your test, and Factorial equations.”

Groans and sighs came from across the room as the educator took their stuff from the desk and walked off. Some students left the classroom, finding other parts of the school more interesting, while others, who didn’t, either slept on their desks or simply blocked off reality with their phones.

The once so loud room was quiet again, as only you remain active and starting to do your homework early, so you’d have a free afternoon… Although that plan was quickly going to be scratched once your deskmate kept staring at you eagerly.

“C00lkidd?” You responded to his silence, catching the red-skinned boy by surprise. Looking over to him, the 15-year-old coughed awkwardly and chuckled slightly, recomposing himself and his posture.

“Sorry! I, uhm… Thought you were smart… I mean- ARE smart! So, I kinda needed help with erm… The work, if that’s alright?” He struggles to speak, making you smile slightly from the sudden entertainment.

C00lkidd was an old student at this school, he’s been here since the 7th grade (being homeschooled prior)… It was mainly due to his skin condition and the fact that he and his father went missing alongside many of Robloxia’s big shots years ago. He was unsafe at other schools, as he’d suffer bullying and his grades would worsen… Not that he isn’t bullied or doesn’t have bad grades, but it’d just be more drastic anywhere else.

Because of his past, skin, and his weird mannerisms and psychopathic tendencies, he’s left alone by most students… There are the “brave” bunch that pick on him, but they’re usually left with a black eye or a broken bone.

“Well… Sure, I guess? This subject isn’t that hard… Just lots of numbers.” You straighten up, moving your notebook near his part of the desk, as you start to demonstrate and explain the mathematical problems.

The ringing of a bell startled you two after 20 minutes, although you knew that you could stay in the room for longer. All of the students that wasn’t you and C00lkidd left the classroom, leaving you two to your own devices.

“Y’know… You’re not as scary as they say.” You mumbled, accidentally letting that thought out of your mind uncontrollably, causing the red teenager to stare at you creepily. “I-I mean… People talk badly about you, I only really hear them, but… Talking to you directly proves them wrong.” Straightening your back, you cautiously explain, not wanting to get hurt or hurt his feelings.

A small nod came from C00lkidd, whilst you looked up at him empathetically. “You’re cool to talk to, you don’t judge or comment on every error, small or big, and you learn quickly. Sure, you have your own creepy or scary moments and phrases, but I can look past that since you treat me with basic decency, unlike the others.” You relaxed into your seat, gazing at him.

“Thank you…” He smiled, giggling a bit afterwards. “You’re weird.” He said simply, making you jokingly punch his shoulder softly, as you both laughed. It didn’t take long for the conversation to direct itself into many topics- Dinosaurs, dragons, which teachers are cool and which one sucks, which classmates would you be friends with, family, and much much more.

Once school ended, C00lkidd ran happily towards his dad’s almost worn-out car, hugging 007n7 excitedly. “I MADE A FRIEND!”

[bonewaryreblogs]

I Finally Posted Something!

I'm so fucking excited!

Chapter 1 of "Building Ballasts" has finally gotten to the point that I'm ok sharing it. It's the part of the story where Danny and Jazz get Adopted and move to Gotham, but I still want to write the Battle with Pariah and Danny's First Deathday, too, I'll just label them as prequals.

Anyways, here's the link to Ao3 as well as the full chapter under the Read More!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66145045/chapters/170472640

Batman had met Danny Phantom on the first day of summer vacation. Phantom seemed young and inexperienced but the group of powerful ghosts looked to him for guidance, for protection. Batman had watched the ghost hero stand against the self-proclaimed Ghost King Pariah alone...

And win.

That was weeks ago.

Batman knew that Phantom was too powerful to be left to his own devices. He would be a difficult, if not impossible, enemy to defeat if he ever went rogue. But, how do you eliminate such a threat?

You become their mentor. Their safety. The person they turn to when they’re at their breaking point.

And you make sure they don’t break.

~@~

Phantom smiled as he flew through the cooling, almost-autumn air, the sky still painted in a purple indigo ombre from the setting sun. He only had a week and a half before school started again, so he wanted to enjoy what time he had left of summer vacation; and what better way to relax than patrolling his haunt, making sure it, and all of its inhabitants, were safe? Phantom was so glad he finally had an explanation for that deep itch that protecting others scratched. Sure, it was because of his ghostliness, the implications of which were still a little uncomfortable to think about sometimes, but at least he knew there was an explanation for it, that he wasn’t just crazy.

A shadow shifted in his peripherals and Phantom immediately braced himself for an incoming attack. His ghost sense hadn’t gone off but ghosts weren't the only ones attacking him regularly, and they were being nicer to him lately anyways. Besides, a quick reaction time had saved his half-life more often than he’d care to think about.

What he didn’t expect was to see Batman on a random rooftop a ways off.

Phantom had felt like he was being watched for most of the summer, so Batman had probably been in Amity for about as long. Since Phantom hadn’t actually seen him earlier, Batman must have kept himself hidden the whole time he'd been here, so Phantom only saw him now because Batman wanted to be seen. Which means he probably wanted to talk, since the alternative is a fight and it would probably be more obvious if that was his goal.

Phantom hesitated. He was supposed to meet up with the rest of Team Phantom for patrol, and they’d be suspicious if he was too late, would probably go looking for him, and if Batman had wanted to talk to all of them, he would’ve shown himself to all of them. Nodding to himself, Phantom turned to face Batman and held up his hands, both index fingers pointing up, extended his left hand at arm’s length, held his right hand to his chest, then moved his right hand towards his left hand. Finally, he pointed towards the center of town. It was sign language, loosely meaning “I’ll meet you” and a general direction for where. While he didn’t use them often himself, since he was usually the one fighting, they had all learned some hand signs in case they couldn’t talk for one reason or another, and Phantom recognized them well enough even if he didn’t practice them much.

Batman nodded sharply and Phantom smiled, giving a playful salute before taking off again. He’d just have to convince the Team to patrol separately tonight so he could talk to Batman alone without raising suspicion.

-

Thankfully, it hadn’t been all that hard to convince them to split up and Phantom headed into town, quickly found Batman again, and floated at eye level a careful distance away. Sure, they’d been on the same side against Pariah earlier that summer, but that was an apocalyptic emergency so there was still a non-zero chance Batman agreed with the Anti-Ecto Acts. It had been a month and a half, there was no doubt he knew about them by now.

“Hello again, Batman,” Phantom greeted. “To what do I owe the honor?”

“You didn’t seem surprised to see me,” Batman stated in lieu of his own greeting.

“I had a feeling you were here but couldn’t really confirm it,” Phantom shrugged, playing it cool but not taking his eyes off Batman. “So, do you need something or is this more of a personal visit?”

“A bit of both,” Batman admitted. “Is there somewhere more secure we can talk?”

Suspicion rising along with one eyebrow, Phantom hesitated.

“... Sure, follow me.”

Confidant Batman would keep up (and wouldn’t shoot him in the back), Phantom flew off to the Library, the tallest building in the area he was supposed to be patrolling. On the Library’s roof, Phantom “sat” cross legged in midair a few feet from a small table with four chairs and a patio umbrella, letting Batman decide if he wanted to sit or stand. Batman looked around suspiciously.

“It’s already closed for the night and the janitors don’t come around until later. Plus, the cameras are just for show, they’re not even plugged in,” Phantom explained his choice. “I have to at least pretend I’m patrolling my section. So. Why are you in my territory? Illinois is pretty far from New Jersey.”

“You and your team have been doing well, considering what you have to work with,” Batman started without preamble, apparently electing to stand. Phantom sat up a little straighter at the praise. “However, you are all young and untrained. I have reason to believe the situation here is going to shift soon and I don’t want you four to deal with it alone. I have Oracle looking into the GIW but communication is difficult with the media blackout they’ve established-”

“Media blackout! Tucker totally called it.”

“- But what little I’ve managed to discover on my own is troubling, to say the least,” Batman continued as if Phantom hadn’t said anything. “That will take time and legal action to take care of, but it will be taken care of. Unfortunately, there is a more time sensitive issue that concerns me. The Doctors Fenton meet the criteria of supervillainy and I intend to arrest them for it.”

“WHAT!?” Phantom cried in shock. “No no no, there must be a mistake! My- the Fentons aren’t villains! They’re just eccentric and misguided!”

“They regularly shoot to kill at the town’s local hero,” Batman stated flatly.

“Like I said, misguided,” Phantom argued with a helpless shrug. “They think they’re doing the right thing, and it’s not like they’re the only ones.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time a genius turned into a supervillain because they thought the ends justified the means,” Batman barreled forwards, ignoring the bait to distract him. “They are a danger to those around them, regularly causing far more property damage than you or your rogues, their ideology is at risk of classifying more than just ghosts as non-sentient, which is concerning enough on its own, and they are, at best, neglectful of their children’s safety.” Batman narrowed his eyes. “And that’s not even counting their interdimensional crimes.”

Phantom froze, eyes wide.

“... interdimensional...?” he choked.

“They punched a hole into another dimension and began hunting and experimenting on the native residents of said dimension,” Batman spelled it out and Phantom cringed as he realized Batman wasn’t wrong.

“It sounds really bad when you say it like that,” he shrank away, hands fidgeting nervously. Batman narrowed his eyes.

“Regardless of their beliefs, Phantom, such acts are grounds for war,” Batman emphasized and Phantom stiffened. “If we don’t take care of this problem ourselves, someone else will, and the rest of the planet may get caught in the crossfire. As a hero yourself, I’m sure you understand that I cannot let that happen.”

Phantom looked away, eyes wide and unseeing as the implications set in. He felt a thousand miles away from his body, thoughts buzzing as he couldn’t breathe. Thank his ghostly biology that he didn’t need the oxygen in this form.

“You’ve done well keeping the peace so far,” Batman said, a little softer. “And I know it’s hard to betray loved ones-” Phantom’s head snapped up. “- But you must recognize that they will inevitably do something that cannot be undone. Yes, it might be done to you, and you will forgive them because they’re your parents, but it might be to Ember, or the Box Ghost, or any number of the peaceful ghosts that inhabit this town. I’ve seen you release the ghosts they do catch, but what happens if you’re too late? You can’t be everywhere, Phantom. You’re already running yourself ragged trying to plug leaks, and that's without school taking up more of your time and attention. As heroes, we have a responsibility to anticipate problems and solve them before they happen if we can, not just clean up the aftermath.”

Batman paused to let Phantom process this, his face saying everything Batman needed to hear of his racing thoughts, before he finally settled into somber acceptance as he floated limply a foot lower than he started. He gave a hollow chuckle, with a smile to match.

“Shoulda known you’d figure me out,” Phantom murmured, focusing on the revelation that was easier to swallow. “Can’t hide anything from the World’s Greatest Detective.” His fake smile fell as he curled in on himself. “I know they’re not the best parents, but they’re still mine...”

“I know,” Batman said in an empathetic rumble, accepting the implied surrender before he straightened. “Once they’re arrested, they’ll have a choice. They can go to court and face trial, or they can take the plea deal they’ll be offered.”

Phantom looked up, a fragile hope in his eyes.

“They would still, technically, be serving a prison sentence, but they would be able to work at the Justice Foundation as reforming villains as a form of community service, directly supervised by Justice League heroes and trusted affiliates. Despite their beliefs, they are still brilliant scientists, and humanity can still benefit from their work, but they will lose custody of you and your sister, as is standard procedure for any dependent of a reforming villain.”

Phantom’s face fell at the thought but he didn’t interrupt.

“You won’t be cut off from them, though,” Batman continued. “There would be generous visitation available, but it would be entirely on your terms. They could request to see you, and you would be informed of the request, but they couldn’t demand it; you would never be forced to see them if you didn’t want to, though you could visit them as often as you’d like.”

There was a beat of silence before Batman looked away.

“Honestly, I would’ve wanted to get you two out of there anyways,” his tone was suddenly more disdainful than clinical. “Not only is that entire house a deathtrap, to say nothing about their lax lab safety, but it’s only a matter of time before they find out about your condition, or your sister’s contamination reaches a threshold where they no longer see her as their daughter. You’re a smart kid, Danny, I know you can see it. Denial is only going to get someone hurt.”

Phantom’s eyes widened in shock, then horror as reality sank in.

“I hadn’t... thought about Jazz being in danger...” Phantom trailed off, barely audible as his hands covered his mouth. “We have some contingencies for me, but...”

“I would prefer to have your cooperation with this,” Batman continued, back to distant but determined. “But I will be arresting them in the next few days, with or without your help.”

Phantom flinched but didn’t object.

“Since they will be arrested as interdimensional supervillains, the Justice League will be in charge of placing you and your sister with a foster family. We will ensure you two stay together, at least, with either a League hero or a trusted associate. However... I would like to take you in myself.”

Phantom’s jaw dropped, slowly turning to face Batman.

“You have a lot of potential as a hero, as do the rest of Team Phantom,” Batman continued, with the ghost of a smile. “However, since only you and your sister are being displaced right now, I would like to train you two personally if you’d like to continue on this path. I will accept if you decide you want to be placed with someone else, and I won’t force either of you to join Gotham’s nightlife if you decide to focus on your civilian lives instead, but know that the offer stands. I want you to have as much say in your future as I can reasonably give you, considering the circumstances. Take some time to think, but your sister also needs to know. I had planned to tell her tonight as well, unless you’d prefer to tell her yourself.”

“This is... a lot,” Phantom said slowly. “As much as I’d like to be there when you talk to Jazz, I’m going to need time to process all of this and I don’t think I can finish that before Jazz would need to know.” He took a deep breath he technically didn’t need. “I’m gonna go ahead and patrol while you go talk to Jazz. Oh right! What about Sam and Tucker? They’re part of Team Phantom, too, and you said we all have potential, so...”

“I did,” Batman nodded. “However, they still have families to return to, while you and your sister are being displaced immediately. The Justice League will be keeping an eye on them, though. They are capable individuals, despite their age, but more than that, they have proven to be highly motivated to change the world for the better. That drive is hard to come by and is far more important than any superpower. They’d likely become heroes even without our intervention.”

“Yeah,” Phantom said quietly, smiling slightly despite himself, full of pride for his two best friends. “Yeah, ok. I think I can live with that.”

“Have a good patrol, Phantom,” Batman nodded as he turned towards Jazz’s section, obviously knowing where to find her already. Just how much did he know, anyways?

“Yeah, you too,” Phantom replied reflexively before screwing up his face, Batman already long gone. “Or something. Close enough,” he sighed and flew off.

He had a lot to think about.

-

Team Phantom reconvened around midnight.

The Box Ghost was the only troublemaker tonight and Sam had proudly announced that she’d handled him all by herself; they were all supposed to call Phantom for backup if they had to fight a ghost, but Sam always liked to push her limits. While praising her, Jazz and Phantom had shared a look, a silent acknowledgement that Batman had, indeed, spoken to them both.

Neither said anything to Sam or Tucker.

The siblings managed to act relatively normal, at least nothing that couldn’t be explained away easily enough, and said their good nights as they all headed home, Sam and Tucker on their scooters while Phantom transformed so Danny could ride back with Jazz in her car, citing that he was just a little tired tonight, nothing to worry about. They trusted Sam and Tucker, of course they did, but this was a little too personal to share just yet, even with them. At least, not before they could talk to each other first.

Finally alone, the car was quiet and tense as Jazz drove even slower than usual, neither knowing where to start.

“Guess you were right,” Danny’s whisper was deafening in the silence. “You and all your psychobabble. Even Batman thinks we’re in danger with mom and dad, and he lives in Gotham.”

“I’m sorry, little brother,” Jazz breathed, eyes locked on the road.

“’s hardly your fault,” Danny shook his head. “You took care of me more than they ever did.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“It wasn’t your job.”

They lapsed into silence again. Neither really wanted to rehash the old, tired argument; there was too much going on right now.

“I feel awful admitting it,” the steering wheel creaked in Jazz’s grip. “But I’m... relieved that they’re being arrested.”

Danny bristled, biting back the compulsion to defend their parents, before slumping into his seat with a defeated sigh. Jazz would’ve known the words were empty anyways.

“He asked for our help,” Danny said, looking out the window without really seeing anything. “I won’t stop him, but I don’t think I can help him, either. Even though I realize now that you’re in danger, too, I-I don’t know if I can betray them like that. It goes against everything in my core...”

Danny’s voice cracked at the end, tears pricking at his eyes. Jazz bit her lip hard to keep herself from breaking down, too; she had to keep it together, keep her eyes on the road ahead. For Danny. She swallowed hard.

“You won’t have to,” she finally said as she pulled into the driveway, turning to him. “I’ll take care of that part. I’ve been compiling evidence for years, planning to take custody of you as soon as I legally could.”

Danny stared at his sister in shock.

“You were gonna...” he trailed off. Ruin your life for me, was left unsaid. He huffed as the tears escaped, roughly wiping them off his cheeks with the heel of his palm. “Honestly, I really shouldn’t be surprised. You’ve always put me first,” Danny’s voice was scratchy with barely contain emotion. He gave her a grim, joyless smile. “I guess, if it means you can finally take care of yourself instead of trying to raise me, I can’t be too mad about all this.”

“Not to mention you can finally get a mentor out of it,” Jazz suggested hopefully. “One that’s human, and isn’t a crazy fruitloop!”

They both laughed so they wouldn’t cry, exiting the car. Before Danny opened the front door, though, Jazz pulled him into a tight hug, which he returned immediately, despite his surprise. Neither commented on the other’s trembling.

“Whatever happens,” Jazz took a shaky breath. “Just know that I love you, ok?”

“I love you too, Jazz,” Danny squeezed tighter. “More than all the stars in the sky.”

[insane-ohwhyfandoms]

The Cake Is A Lie by @thepolomonkey | Merlin/Arthur, 3.5k, G | Cake Shop

Merlin and Will pretend to be engaged to get free wedding cake samples. Obviously this backfires on Merlin when the baker turns out to be the gorgeous Arthur...

It Goes On and On by IambicKentameter | Merlin/Arthur, 3.2k, T | Flower/Tattoo Shop

Arthur was perfectly content to just live his life, helping Gwen out at the flower shop they co-owned and eating at the same little restaurant every night.

He was not, however, content to let the idiot tattoo artist next door kill his flowers every morning in what was probably a vague attempt to flirt with him.

Not Mine to Keep by Stelle_loves_reading | Merlin/Arthur, 996, G | Flower Shop

"And 'I wish to spend more time with you.'" Arthur looked at Merlin for the first time since he had entered the shop that day. Merlin wished he wouldn't. "And..." Please, enough, go tell those things to her yourself. I don't want to hear them! "'I love you.'"

Something In You (lit up heaven in me) by @invisibility-superiority | Merlin/Arthur, 15.3k, T | Book/Coffee Shop

Arthur has been coming to Merlin's bookshop-slash-coffee shop for a few months now, under the guise of studying but really just so he can stare at Merlin. He hasn't mustered up the courage yet to ask Merlin out, but he'll get there.

When Merlin accidentally transports the both of them into the world of the book he recommended to Arthur, they need to find a way out of there. Arthur finds out Merlin's not all he seems, but that might just be a good thing for them.

Fuck You Flowers by Fwufferson | Merlin/Arthur, 3.7k, NR | Flower/Tattoo Shop

Arthur had a very delicate ecosystem he'd created within his shop and Merlin had to go and fuck it up. But Arthur found he didn't mind too much.

Wake Up Your Saints by lostlenore | Merlin/Arthur, 6.8k, NR | Drugstore

It's hardly Arthur's fault that small town witches attract big city trouble.

One-Across Four Letters Starts With 'L' by Emjayelle | Merlin/Arthur, 6.9k, T | Coffee Shop

In which Freya owns a coffee shop, Arthur hates his job, but loves coffee, Merlin has smooth moves and a knack for words, and there's an unfair amount of caffeine-fuelled flirting happening over crossword puzzles.

Possibly Maybe I'm Falling For You by @theladyragnell | Merlin/Arthur, 13.7k, T | Coffee Shop

Merlin walks into his favourite coffee shop one morning to find the Prince of Wales behind the till. His life only gets more surreal from there.

Something Yellow This Time by @gigi-gigi | Elena/Gwaine, Merlin/Arthur, 3.8k, G | Flower Shop

Merlin owns a flower shop. Arthur is a frequent customer with a tragic love life.

Red Card by @believenthlie | Merlin/Arthur, Gwaine/Percival, 5.8k, T | Sports Shop

The only reason, and Merlin meant *only reason, he was standing behind the counter in a shop filled from floor to ceiling with sport’s equipment was because his bank account was in the negatives and Gwaine had promised all he would have to do was work the register.*

In which Arthur comes into the shop and tries to (unsuccessfully) wheedle free stuff out of a stubborn Merlin.

Roast-Impressionism and Other Latte Art by @burglarhobbit | Merlin/Arthur, 12.8k, T | Coffee Shop

“Right,” the stranger says, and nods sagely. “So you’re a bit of an arse, then?”

“I’m not,” Arthur says, strangled.

“Clearly,” says the stranger in an oddly cheerful tone, and sticks out his hand. “I’m Merlin. I can keep this very short. I’ve spent four years as a barista in another coffee shop, then went to art school, failed utterly and horribly, and now I��m back to being a barista. I’m a hard worker and am immune to people shouting at me, because I’m a starving artist, which means I know how to deal with negative feedback very well. So. That’s me. I didn’t bring a CV, sorry.”

Or: In a final bid to find happiness after leaving his job at his father's company, Arthur opens a coffee shop. Merlin just wants to make latte art.

The Booth in the Corner by ambrosius | Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, 22.2k, T | Coffee Shop

When Merlin befriends the lonely man he always sees in the morning at his local coffee shop, the last thing he expects to happen is to fall for him. Let alone find out the man is actually Arthur Pendragon, the Prince of Wales.

It's Not a Homeless Life For Me, It's Just I'm Home Less Than I'd Like to Be by @destinyspoon | Merlin/Arthur, Mithian/Morgana, 11.4k, T | Charity Shop

Am considering donating 2/3 of my belongings to a charity, he texted Morgana as he got into his car. When he slammed the car door, having parked it haphazardly somewhere along his driveway, and made his way to the house, she had answered.

As if. The day you do anything that's not self-serving is the day I will swim naked in uncle Agravaine's duck pond.

Well, that settled that.

Or: Arthur's a bit of an arse, but Merlin fixes him in less than three months.

The Confectioner by Camelittle | Merlin/Arthur, 5.9k, T | Candy Shop

Having banished Merlin for doing magic, Arthur becomes a sulky grumpyguts of a king. At the end of her tether, Gwen encounters a mysterious confectioner who has opened a shop in the lower town. The shop's sign bears the message “Magical sweetmeats to sweeten the sourest of tempers”. Surely it must be worth a try?

Smoking Habits by hermestheghost | Merlin/Arthur, 4.4k, NR | Coffee Shop

Prompt: “I’m a med student who has a huge crush on the hot guy who works at the coffee shop who always gives me free drinks when I’m stressed and calls me princess, even though I pretend I think it’s annoying. I’m concerned about him because he always smells like smoke so I give him lectures about how terrible cigarettes are. I may have made a PowerPoint, which is probably excessive, but lung health is extremely important. Oops it turns out he’s part-dragon or something oops.” AU

Merthur AU.

lovely, lonely blooms by ashamedbliss | Merlin/Arthur, 9k, M | Flower Shop

Merlin, in this lifetime, owns a flower shop that only opens at night.

Arthur is his customer, with no idea that his local florist is a vampire.

You Swiped Right by xancredible | Merlin/Arthur, 22k, E | Book Shop

Pendragon Books is to London's bookselling industry what Sauron is to Middle-Earth: Bad fucking news.

Merlin could also compare them to the White Witch and Narnia, but no matter what analogy he picks, the point remains the same: Wherever Pendragon Books pops up with a new shop, existing businesses die a painful death, robbing their city of more and more personality and character. Therefore it comes as a bit of a shock when they're settling in right across the street from Merlin's bookshop, and Merlin finds out that Arthur Pendragon himself is gorgeous and unreasonably easy to talk to, and - worst of all - a bit of a nerd.

However, not only is Merlin most definitely not fraternising with the enemy, he's also already sort of dating someone. So what if it started on Grindr, and is only through text messages?

see you next month! 💞💞💞 (if you want your @ added or removed, just let me know! i just went off of what I found on ao3 profiles!) (interested in reading along? join @merlin-fic-server's discord)

[xclowniex]

I watched some of Hasans stream covering the Colorado attack as I was curious how he would react considering he called the DC jewish museum a "false flag operation" (aka Israel did it).

Over half of that portion of his stream, was spent with him being angry at chat and the general public for how they perceive his viewpoint on the DC attack and what people thought he would say about the boulder attack.

He tried to cover up his conspiracy theory he got temporarily banned from twitch by saying over and over that he did not call the DC jewish museum a false flag, even though he said "I'm not saying it's a false flag, but if you look at the evidence....". Which whilst it isn't outright blatantly saying he thinks it is a false flag, it heavily implies it. Just because you don't outright say it, doesn't mean that you don't mean it.

He also got mad at chat for assuming he would also call the boulder attack a false flag.

I was very surprised when he opened with the attack being wrong, calling the perpetrator insane and telling chat off for calling it a false flag.

He did insist that the walk for the hostages was a pro israel protest, even though wanting the hostages home doesn't mean you support Netanyahu or israels actions, case in point a self described pro palestine jew was at the walk. But he did make sure to label the victims as Jewish and not zionists or israelis.

Whilst I obviously don't know exactly what Hasan thinks, I do think it was a PR move and his word choices were about optics as A) he spoke honestly for over half of the segment about how people perceive him rather than the event at hand and B) he tried to start implying things by saying "this is all a bit too perfectly timed for the news cycle. The dude was Egyptian and likely muslim, and it happened either same day or the day after this other thing" (I didn't quite catch what Palestinian news event he was referring to).

He didn't finish that thought as chat started assuming he was going to call it another false flag and he told them off. Which like, if a lot of his viewers thought he was going down that path, and I and others I've talked to also thought he was going down that path, at best he is shit with his word choice and needs to take some communication course or he was going to pull another "I'm not saying it's a false flag but it looks like it is".

I'm also not all too convinced he has suddenly changed his tune and has become educated on antisemitism as he made a statement about how hamas and the pro Palestine movement isn't violent outside of the "occupied territories" as they are laser focused on one goal. Which is weird to say when you are talking about a violent attack done by someone who is pro Palestine. Also do I need to bring up the Amsterdam pogrom and the Munich Olympics where black September, a west bank terrorist group attacked Israeli athletes in Munich Germany. Or I could also mention the hamas members in Europe arrested December 2023 for bringing in weapons to attack jews in europe which was thankfully foiled.

And he also talked about how the pro Palestine violence is because Amercia is a uniquely violent country. Which like I don't think the US is uniquely violent. Maybe in the sense of school shootings but not if we are talking about violence in general.

Those two comments coupled with him trying to hint towards it being a false flag with his comment about it being too perfectly times with the news cycle, makes me think it's more about optics and trying to not be banned rather than actually condemning the attack. But again I am not a mind reader so I could be wrong.

I didn't finish the segment of his stream as I had to go to work and stopped watching at 7:20am NZ time, so he may have said some stuff I didn't see as well.

[lonelydreams-world]

Raf's Notes as originally presented on The Hub's website.

TRANSMITTING FROM INSIDE AUTOBOT HEADQUARTERS

What if you could have secret access to the Autobots' base, getting the inside scoop on their latest missions and battles with the Decepticons? Well, that's Raf! He's got full access to all things Autobots, and he's taking notes.

We've gained access to his laptop, so now you can peek over his shoulder and see what's really happening behind the scenes. (Just don't tell him we gave you the secret password, or he might hack our system.) Check out Raf's Notes every week -- EXCLUSIVELY--here on HubWorld.com!

THE NOTES SO FAR

Gotta keep track of all of this ACTION! This is my stash of all my entries--super-encrypted so that Megatron and his boys (or Agent Fowler) can't get to the goods!

ENTRY # 1

This Is NOT a Diary!

OK, not sure where to start, since a LOT has happened, but I figure I better take notes, cuz ... well, let's just say, life's been pretty different lately. And I want to remember as much as possible, cuz if someone else said all this happened to him, no way would I believe it. I'm saving these notes as a triple-encrypted file in my laptop, so no one will ever see them. I'd do hex-encryption, but who has the time?

AUTOBOTS!!!

Where was I? OK. Autobots. My life hasn't been the same since I met them. They're these huge autonomous robotic life-forms who came to Earth to protect us from these other huge guys called Decepticons. Optimus Prime is the leader of the good guys, and Megatron is the really bad Bad Guy. (Except they used to be friends ... but that was a REALLY long time ago.)

They're all after this stuff called Energon, which is kinda like food and gas and blood and electricity all mixed into one. (Note to self : Eww.) They used to live on a planet called Cybertron, but they destroyed it by fighting for, like, forever. Optimus says he's trying to make sure that doesn't happen to Earth next. They've been here in secret for a while, but since me and these other kids Jack and Miko accidentally saw them and discovered their secret, they're protecting us ... in case the Cons come after us.

Bumblebee's my buddy. Mostly cuz I'm the only kid who understands him. Not sure why ... he makes perfect sense. He just doesn’t use words. Might be the same reason I could understand digital code, even when I was three years old. Anyway, most people talk too much. Best thing? Bee's an awesome muscle car, and he’s my friend.

Arcee is Jack's partner, and Bulkhead watches out for Miko. I guess I should point out that Jack and Miko go to my school, and normally we'd never even talk. But lately, nothing's normal, so the three of us hang out at the secret Autobot base a LOT. It's awesome, cuz they have the sickest computers and other way-cool tech.

My mom asked where I was going after school all the time, so I told her I joined the Computer Club. Which is kinda true.

ENTRY #2

The Bigger They Are....

Woah, what a week! Looks like Megatron, the main Decepticon, went down for good this week, out in space. Lucky for Earth! Most of us felt like cheering, but not Optimus. He never likes it when a spark gets extinguished, no matter whose. A spark is like a Bot's life spirit, more or less.

Game Over?

After that, we were all thinking Game Over. No more Megatron, no more trouble. So we got busy with our science fair projects. I have to say, it was pretty cool getting science help from the Bots. They have so much data to work with, and all that amazing hardware.

But it never stays quiet for long around here. Optimus and Bee went to go check out a blip on the Energon grid. It's how they keep track of all the Bots and Cons everywhere -- like a radar screen for the whole universe. They figured it was probably Cons, but had no idea who or what they were headed for. But soon as they saw Skyquake, it was like -- GO time.

Turns out these other Cons, Starscream and Soundwave, had come to Earth just to find and reanimate this massive guy. Bee said Skyquake made Optimus look small! Even worse, his whole mission was to destroy Optimus, under ancient orders from Megatron. They'd faced off on Cybertron before, but that was forever ago.

Bigger AND Badder!

Thing is, big as Skyquake was, he wasn't as swift as the Bots. Our guys had him down and pretty much out.. until good old Agent Fowler came along in a plane. Skyquake scanned the plane, and then it was ON again. But, then snap -- the GUY BECAME THE PLANE!!! (btw, scanning sounds awesome. Like instant cloning.) Wish I'd seen that!

Anyway, in the end, our guys nailed Skyquake, and his spark went out. Huge relief in some ways, but Optimus was sad again ... he always hopes he can bring the bad guys around to being good.

Meanwhile, Ratchet seriously messed with my volcano project for Science Fair. I will NOT let him help again. I had to stay late at school and try to repair the Energon damage in the auditorium. Which took more than a little explaining.

ENTRY #3

Scraplets Scare!

OMG. What an insane week! We had a Scraplet infestation at the base. Imagine raccoon-sized termites wired on too much coffee! Or zombie dogs on candy! Or ... well, I'll explain.

It all started when Bumblebee and Bulkhead were scouting for Energon in the Arctic. They found this big metal egg/pod thing and brought it back for examination. No one knew what it was. But by the time it thawed, it was too late!

Here's what happened: Once the pod thing was in the lab, Optimus and Arcee went back to the Arctic for more recon while Bee and Bulkhead thawed out. Turns out they get frostbite too, almost like us. Miko and Jack were playing a video game ... and since there's only two controllers, I was like, No, you go ahead. (Mr. Nice Guy. As usual.) So I was just hanging near the lab when I saw the first Scraplet.

It was kinda cute, for a bot. It was like ... well, like a dog, like I said. But a friendly dog. They only eat metal, see, not organic material -- so when it saw me, it was like: "Hmmm. Not tasty."

But then it followed me back to the main area and BAM! It attacked Bee like mad. I had to smash it with a pipe to make it stop. Bulkhead seriously freaked. Never seen him like that before. And then we knew it was an infestation. There were like HUNDREDS of them, all inside the walls, chewing up the pipes and cables! Which explained the Comm-Link and power failures. Optimus and Arcee were out there freezing, but Ratchet couldn’t activate the GroundBridge to bring them in.

Since us kids weren't Scraplet food, we went to fix the hole in the Energon pipeline -- just in time, too. It was scary, but way more scary for the Bots. For once, WE got to protect THEM! It was cool and all, but still ... I'd rather not do it again.

I'm not so much the Protector type. More the Defensive Crouch type. Still ... it's good to know I can work it if I have to.

ENTRY #4

Don't Judge a Bot by Its Cover

I learned something new about Decepticons this week. Something huge happened -- a Bot made contact with us! Wheeljack. He's an old friend of Bulkhead's ... this big soldier Bot guy who just roams the universe solo. Or that's who he was supposed to be.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It started when we got a friendly Bot signal from deep space this week. Bulkhead was psyched to see it was Wheeljack, cuz they used to be best buds, back in this elite fighting unit called the Wreckers. (Sounds like a reality show, right?) When he showed up, we kinda had a party. They played this game called "lobbing" which is basically playing catch with the biggest things they can find. Miko jammed on her guitar (I think she may be getting better), and I showed Bee how to do the Robot. It was awesome.

But then Bulkhead started getting suspicious, cuz he said Wheeljack wasn't acting like himself. Turns out it wasn't Wheeljack at all! It was just a Decepticon pretending to be the real Wheeljack, who was imprisoned up on the Nemesis -- that's the Cons' ship.

That's right! We actually had a REAL LIVE CON inside the base!!! Gives me chills just thinking about it. Bet Miko gets worse chills -- when Bulkhead blew the Con's cover, he took her hostage. She was pretty cool under pressure, I gotta say.

Anyway, thanks to some quick thinking and awesome fighting, we got the real Wheeljack back. He actually busted out of the Nemesis himself! Way cool. So then we had another party. For reals. We all kinda thought Wheeljack would stay, and we'd have another Bot here on Earth ... but he took off soon as Ratchet fixed up his ship. Everyone was bummed that he left.

Bots aren't always what they seem. Maybe that's true about people too. That's why I like computers! Cuz you can always just reprogram. Simple. Elegant. No surprises.

ENTRY #5

One Laptop, Over Easy

Whole new thing this week. The Bots had to fight humans AND Cons!

Agent Fowler was taking this radioactive device called a Dingus across the country when Cons attacked him. That's what he thought, anyway. So he asked the Autobots to GroundBridge it out of danger, but it's too risky to transport radioactive devices that way. So Optimus and the other Autobots had to roll out and form a convoy to take it over land.

I stayed at the Base with Ratchet and watched everything on the grid via Comm-Link. The attackers were in fast attack cars and totally harassing the V-mode Bots. That's when we found out they weren't Cons at all -- they were humans working for a crew called MECH. Then, as if being chased by a bunch of heavily armed flesh and blood criminals wasn't enough, six Cons showed up out of the blue.

We had to protect the Dingus, so I got to hack into the rail system and divert a train. Highlight of my week -- GroundBridging Jack and Miko onto a moving train! Ratchet didn't think it was possible, but I got the train's coordinates online and zzzoom -- off they went! But then MECH hacked into the same system -- and they fried my laptop! Not sure how, but major bummer. Good thing my files were backed up.

I guess Miko and Jack were pretty freaked by how serious it got on that train. It almost derailed, and Optimus had to stop it with his bare hands. Kinda wish I'd been there. But mostly? Glad I wasn't. Not that I'd say that out loud.

Optimus was bummed, cuz the Bots blew their cover in front of MECH when they transformed to fight the Decepticons. And we're all pretty sure MECH will be back. But at least the Dingus didn't blow up or get stolen.

After all that, Ratchet sort of helped me fix my laptop ... even though he kept saying how lame it was. Well, now I've gotta figure out a better firewall. Still can't believe I got counter-hacked! Very embarrassing, actually. Hoping everyone forgets really soon.

:)

ENTRY #6

Breaking and Energon

This week, we got to break into a museum! But it was for a good reason.

It all started when the Autobots saw an Energon blip on the grid over in Greece. Bulkhead was trying to help Miko see how homework can be cool, so he took her with him to Greece. So there they were at these excavations, when they found a mosaic showing an ancient Cybertronian Energon Harvester. Pretty unexpected!

Miko took a snap and showed it to Optimus, who said the mosaic was a signpost for the real thing. So I did a quick image search online and found this ancient Greek statue on display in a regular museum. We knew the Decepticons were after it, so we had to snag it first ... which meant breaking into the museum. Like Optimus said: We were only breaking a law to save lives.

Here's why lives were at stake: Not only can a Harvester suck Energon out of the ground -- it can pull it right out of a living Autobot! That'd be like a vampire sucking all the blood out of you just by pointing at you. No way did Optimus want the Cons getting that thing.

So we planned this total heist, like in the movies -- only with a forklift and us kids. It would've worked, too, but then these Cons Breakdown and Knock Out showed up, and there was a massive Bot brawl in the parking lot.

During the fight, Jack and I came face-to-face with Soundwave in the museum! That is one scary guy. But he was so focused on the Harvester, he left us alone. Lucky!

The Autobots were bummed he'd snagged it, but they eventually got it back over in Greece. Took more fighting, and Bulkhead lost some Energon, but it worked out.

Oh, and Miko got caught by a museum guard, but for once Agent Fowler was pretty cool. He came in, flashed his badge, and then just sent her on her way. Like, Yo, there's Bulkhead. Go.

I guess we have friends in high places now.

ENTRY #7

Playing the Race Car

Wild week. Jack pretty much got everyone in trouble, but gotta say ... we were all kinda responsible. Mostly cuz we didn't really step up and help him resist temptation. Optimus wasn't happy with any of us.

According to Jack, it all started when this girl at school asked if she could have a ride on Arcee. Of course, Arcee was like no way, that's against the rules, and it's not happening. But then this dumb bully from school who drives a street racer talked some smack about Arcee -- I think he called her a moped?! -- and she was like, OK, that's it. (She takes that kind of thing personally.) So she and Jack smoked him right there. The bully guy wanted a rematch, but Arcee said nope -- we're not breaking the rules again.

So here's where I came in. Jack didn't want to look like a chicken in front of that girl (he likes her!), so he asked if Bee would help him win the race. That didn't seem like a good idea to me, but I'm all for taking down a bully. And besides, Bee was really into the racing part. So he and Jack showed up at the race. But then ... so did a Decepticon! It was one of the car Cons we saw at the museum ... Knock Out? Anyway, as soon as he saw Bee, the Con got violent. Bee said it was scary. And Jack couldn't understand what Bee was saying, so it was like total chaos.

It's weird: We all basically broke the rules and then, boom -- the worst-case scenario happened. What were we thinking? Optimus totally went out and tracked everyone down and saved the day ... but he wasn't happy about it. Then he gave us all a serious talking to. Sounds corny, but I think we all learned our lessons.

In the end, Arcee did let Jack give that cute girl a ride ... and now he won?t stop talking about the girl. Or about Arcee.

ENTRY #8

Bugging Out

Jack and Arcee had a wicked time out in the forest this week. They were looking for an Energon signature, but turns out the blip was this super-creepy Decepticon called Airachnid. (Like "arachnid," which means spider.) She has eight limbs, spits webbing, and likes to hunt. Creepy! I wasn't there, so all I have to go on is what Jack said, but sounds like it got super hairy out there.

He says he's never seen Arcee that afraid before, and it's cuz she has history with Airachnid from back on Cybertron. She wouldn't give him deets, but it must've been bad for a Bot that fierce to get that scared. And her Comm-Link wouldn't work, so she couldn't call the Base for backup.

Jack ended up running, since Airachnid was actually hunting him! She travels the universe looking for different species to add to her "collection." Kinda like a big game hunter. I think hunting's gross enough already, without humans being the prey. Too bad she didn't land her ship in the middle of one of those controlled hunts, where people "hunt" captive lions and tigers. Yeah, that's a fair fight.

Anyway, Jack was pretty swift. He tried setting traps, which didn't work, but then he actually went into her spaceship and started a fire in her ship?s leaking engine thrusters. That messed her up just enough to let Arcee get up on her. Then Airachnid just fled. Took off. Adios.

Arcee's been quiet since they got back. Big and tough as they are, I forget how vulnerable Autobots can be. Bumblebee says she's not talking to him either. Not sure what she's going through -- and I'm not asking -- but she and Optimus took a couple long drives this week.

OTOH, Jack's all puffed up now, cuz Arcee finally started calling him her "partner." Miko keeps reminding him he's just a kid, but seeing what he just went through, I'm OK with letting him feel whatever he wants. Not that he wants to know what I think.

Anyway, I feel like we're all partners here.

ENTRY #9

Inside Megatron's Mind

I don't know what was a bigger deal this week -- Optimus Prime nearly losing his spark, which was huge, or Bumblebee going INSIDE Megatron's mind. Yes, INSIDE it! And we thought that guy's spark WAS out.

Here's how it started... Out on a recon mission with Ratchet, Optimus Prime caught Cybonic Plague, a deadly virus Megatron invented on Cybertron. It looked like he was a goner. But Jack figured that if Megatron invented it, he must have invented an antidote too. Luckily, the Nemesis's cloaking tech was down, so Ratchet was able to bridge Arcee and Bumblebee up to the enemy ship to search out the cure.

But they couldn't find it, so Ratchet said they'd have to enter Megatron's mind through a Cortical-Psychic patch -- using Decepticon medical tech. Arcee was like "Are you out of your fragging mind?!" but then 'Bee volunteered to enter Megatron's mind. I was proud... and terrified.

Us kids stayed at the Base, of course, but we got to see literally inside Megatron's twisted mind through a comm-link. That guy is wacked out. I translated for Jack and Miko while Bumbleee scouted -- and then Bee met Megatron in the guy's own unconscious -- and totally stood up to him -- IN HIS OWN BRAIN! He even outsmarted him by saying that if the plague virus destroyed Optimus, Megatron would never get to do it himself. Which Megatron -- whose fantasies are all about obliterating Optimus -- totally bought.

So Ratchet grabbed the antidote formula via comm-link, and our Autobot pals bridged back. Optimus is fine now, but Bee is acting a little strange. Spending time inside such a sick mind must leave some weird aftereffects. Hope he feels better soon!

ENTRY #10

Out of My Comfort Zone

Up on the Nemesis, Megatron snuck into Bee's brain using the same Cortical-Psychic patch that Bee used to get into his. Then he hijacked Bumblebee. What a nightmare. To think we actually had Megatron inside the Base! Good thing he was more into getting revenge against Starscream than infiltrating our systems and defenses. He did nearly nail Bulkhead with a metal basketball, but that didn’t seem so weird at the time somehow.

But I should have known what was up when Bee forgot to pick me up for school.

Funny. The base's defenses are all physical, and Megatron exploited the groundbridge using kind of a mindbridge. Well, never judge a 'Bot by its cover.

The scariest part of all was watching Bumblebee's mind struggling to control his own body. I knew he wouldn’t let Megatron hurt me. At least, that's what I hoped. So in a way, by forcing Bumblebee to stay focused on me, I was our best defense against Megatron. And it worked.

Wow. I stood up to Megatron. I’d do anything to save Bumblebee ... and that's pretty much what I did. Went waaaay out of my comfort zone to help my buddy. But hey. We're family. We were tight before, but we're even tighter now.

ENTRY #11

Zoned Out

This week, Miko got us kids into big trouble. As in, Terrorcon-sized.

It all started when the Autobots rolled out, and Miko made a break for the Groundbridge! Me and Jack tried to stop her, but we got pulled in too.

The Bots thought they'd found Megatron trying to raise more dead Decepticons (Miko calls 'em "zombie Cons"). But it was actually Starscream. He fired a missile and almost hit us. Yikes! Then Optimus shot off Starscream's arm.

Something went wonky when the Autobots 'bridged us back. We stayed put, but they couldn't see us. It's like we were ghosts. Creepy. Ratchet said we'd gotten sent to the wrong place, but I realized we really went into a different dimension. A shadow zone. Never figured I could think quicker than an Autobot. I was pretty proud of myself! And pretty terrified.

Worst part? Miko got her zombie Con: This massive Terrorcon called Skyquake was with us in the Shadowzone. Wow, I can run a LOT when I have to!

Starscream's arm was in the Shadowzone too. I figured out how to launch its missile. (More pride. More terror.) We actually knocked off Skyquake's arm ... but the ARM CHASED US TOO! It was like, game over. Thankfully, the Autobots 'bridged us out.

Miko actually told Optimus it was her fault! Jack was like, can you repeat that about a million times? But I was remembering how we three had to work together to escape. What if she HAD gone in by herself?

Scary thought. Weird to say I'm glad I was there, but ... I guess sometimes being in the worst place is the best place you can be.

ENTRY #12

Nervous Breakdown

You'd never expect Bulkhead to say no to a rescue mission. But this week, he told Optimus he wasn't gonna do it, no way no how. Not even for the "greater good."

I get it. The Autobots were rolling out to save a Decepticon. How weird is that? And the Con in question was Breakdown -- Bulkhead's archenemy.

I wasn't there, but I got the deets from Bumblebee and Miko. Bulkhead and Breakdown were having a smackdown, and Bulk got pretty messed up. (Note to self: Never ask Miko if Bulkhead was LOSING, 'specially when I'm in arm-punching range. Ouch.) Then those spooky techie guys from MECH showed up and captured Breakdown. Optimus knew it could be bad for humankind if MECH learned the secrets of Cybertronian biology.

Amazingly, Optimus was OK with Bulkhead flat-out refusing the mission. But not Miko! She acted super-angry about it, but I knew she must've really been massively disappointed. Either way, she talked him into going. How? She said, "No rescue, no REMATCH!" Yeah, they totally speak the same language.

I almost wish I'd seen Bulkhead and Breakdown team up. Except, 'Bee said Starscream and his troopers showed up, so I'm glad I didn't. Starscream creeps me out.

Anyway, pretty soon Bulkhead and Breakdown were back to fighting. But Optimus was proud that Bulkhead rescued his rival. Strange but true: Sometimes you can be totally selfish and still end up serving the "greater good."

Pretty sure Miko was just glad Bulkhead got his rematch -- and won it!

ENTRY #13

Mom Meets MECH

OMG HUGE NEWS! This week, Jack's mom found out about the Autobots! She even came to HQ with him and Arcee.

Me and Miko couldn't even believe it when we saw them riding into base. But by then Jack's mom had been through so much, meeting Autobots was practically no big deal.

I mean, no big deal compared to being KIDNAPPED by MECH and webbed-up high on a ledge by Airachnid, who I guess was working with those techie soldier guys. Silas, MECH's leader, didn't even care about hurting Jack or his mom. He just wanted to get ahold of Arcee. The Autobots would never harm anyone for their own gain. Does that make them more "human" than Silas?

Anyway, Jack's voice got kinda shaky when he told us how Airachnid and Silas made him race against time to save his mom -- alone, while MECH was trying to take Arcee apart. Scariest! Can't even think about it.

Good thing Jack's smart (don't tell him I said that) -- and tricky. He tipped off Agent Fowler, but Airachnid and MECH got away. I can only imagine how upset Arcee must be ... no way am I actually gonna ASK her.

Jack said Airachnid scanned Agent Fowler's helicopter and used it for her new vehicle mode. Now she can travel under the ground OR in the sky. Great. Just what we needed.

It's been tough to keep the Autobots a secret. But Jack really didn't have a choice. Family's more important than secrets, and his mom is all the family he's got. Well, except for me, Miko, and the Autobots.

ENTRY #14

Stuck With It

Sticky situations this week! The Autobots had a close encounter with a weird magnetic weapon -- and we all got stuck with Jack's mom.

Remember last week, when she found out about the Autobots? I kinda thought she'd just tour the base and leave. But she started hanging around, like, every day. Jack's pretty used to his mom worrying about him, but Miko's totally bugged about how things have changed.

It IS weird. Ms. Darby makes us feel kind of embarrassed or something, like we have to explain what we're up to. Everything's awkward, instead of fun. But I still felt bad when Miko said that Arcee's as bad as Jack's mom -- just cuz Arcee sent Miko back to base to keep her safe.

I mean, it WAS dangerous when Arcee and Bulkhead took on Airachnid and Breakdown over this "Polarity Gauntlet" thing. It makes metal stuff stick together -- metal stuff like, well, Arcee and Bulkhead. They got unstuck, but Airachnid and Breakdown got away with the gauntlet. Ratchet seems to think it could be a game-changer -- and not for our side. That makes me pretty nervous.

But what's that thing people say? Change is constant, right? I guess it doesn't have to be bad. But this thing with Jack's mom is still gonna take some getting used to.

ENTRY #15

A Hard Place

Seems like Jack and Miko always get to be in the middle of the action! But this week, I really didn't mind. I mean, would YOU want to be stuck in a massive cave-in with Starscream AND Megatron? Yeah, no way.

Jack actually came face-to-face with Megatron! Even trapped under tons of rocks, that guy is ultra-terrifying. Can't believe Megatron dared Jack to finish him off. Jack said he was really tempted to take a shot, but he knew Optimus wouldn't want him to destroy a helpless opponent. Not even the baddest Decepticon ever. Optimus was proud of Jack for that. Me too.

But wow, poor Miko. She and Bulkhead were in a bad sitch when Jack found them -- with Starscream. Miko was totally dealing, as usual ... until Bulk made Jack get her out of there. Jack said she got so worried about Bulkhead, she was CRYING. Still trying to picture that. Kind of sweet that she cares about the big guy so much. Not that I'd actually TELL her that. Hmm, hope she never sees this!

Anyway, at least they all got out OK -- except Starscream and Megatron. Even Optimus drew the line at actually digging them out. Maybe they'll stay buried ... at least for a while.

ENTRY #16

Split Decision

A Decepticon, changing sides? No way, right? Especially not Starscream. That doesn't even make sense, but this week it almost happened. Sort of.

Us kids stayed behind when the Autobots rolled out to track a Decepticon signal. Good thing too, since Airachnid totally ambushed them with this weapon that freezes Bots in their tracks. Cool part was, Bumblebee got to be the hero. Airachnid stopped Optimus AND Bulkhead, but my buddy faked her out and saved the day. Sweet!

Anyway, about Starscream. The Autobots found him in one of Airachnid's webs, and he completely shocked them by asking to JOIN them! Sounds like a trick, right? And I guess it was. But you know Optimus. He wants to believe that anyone can change, even Starscream.

Pretty sure Arcee didn't give a scrap about redemption when she figured out Starscream's the one who snuffed Cliffjumper, her old partner. She nearly extinguished his spark! But Bumblebee stopped her. I couldn't see why getting rid of Starscream would be so bad, till 'Bee explained that acting out of revenge only makes us weaker. Cuz it's not right.

But I get why Arcee lost it. If anything ever happened to Bumblebee, I'd feel just as awful ... and just as mad. It reminds me again that Autobots are more like us than we think. Even they have to learn stuff the hard way sometimes.

@mk-wizard @escapistsatellite @vitamaeternum @mimitus @kitgirl91 @mokabeanzz @iggyfing @its-elioo Tada! Straight up from TF Wiki! @inexorableone @batstickblog @jazzimena @betaplatina-135

[that-one-enby-ranger]

I definitely agree that he was a more intense and feral when he was younger, and I feel like Pauline definitely helped with fixing that (you can kinda tell that because in TRR he's more open and actually kinda smiles a bit more and that's after being married to Pauline for a good while and I feel like she definitely had some kind of influence on him), and maybe Pritchard a little as well cuz he helped Crowley, why not help his other son, but I also feel like even in the main series he's a mixture of both unhinged and in control and that makes him kinda unpredictable and I think that's why Will was nervous.

I feel like Halt had to have done at least one thing along those lines of hitting someone at least once for Will to be worried, because again Will has known him for years and probably knows him the best other than Pauline and Crowley, so I feel like the reaction was more than just from feeling like it's the type of thing he would do, but instead, to me at least, it seems like he's thinking it might happen because he knows it can because he's had at least a little experience seeing it, if that makes any sense I don't know if I'm writing this out right. Rn I'm at school and supposed to be doing drama work and I'm half focused on writing this and half focused on not getting caught with my phone

So I think Halt is generally just pretty unpredictable and that is probably where most of Wills reaction came from. And I also think if the soldier had actually hit him, and maybe also if they were in a different situation or in araluen, he probably would have done something.

I kinda talked about this kinda stuff in that post I made a while ago about Halt being both in control and insane at the same time

Also random other thing that is kinda unrelated, in the second book at the start it mentioned that Halt and Will had been spending weeks trying to recruit armies from different places or something like that and "were met with outright hostility. Hostility that melted away when Halt exerted the full force of his reputation and personality." That line seems so fucking ominous to me like what the fuck did he do 😭

" 'Uncover your face in front of a senshi!' the man ordered. He reached forward and slapped the cowl of Halt's cloak back from his face with the back of his hand. Will drew a sharp breath, sure that Halt would react explosively to the insult. But the bearded ranger merely bowed his head again. The hand had made no contact with his face, merely catching the brim of the cowl and knocking it back."

-Emperor of Nihon-Ja, I would say the page number but I forgot and already put the book away and I'm too lazy to get it out again.

It's 1:30 in the morning and I was thinking about this because we like to joke that Halt's feral and shit, but honestly seeing this honest to god quote from the books themselves, its probably not that far from the truth.

Will, someone who has known Halt for years, was so sure that he was gonna deck this fucking dude just for knocking his hood back, to the point where he was kinda nervous about it. And it's so funny to me that it seems the only reason Halt didn't do anything was because it didn't touch him. That's the only reason. Maybe also because they were in public and in a foreign country and they were soldiers and causing a scene wouldn't be smart but that's not as funny to me

This man needs to be kept on a fucking leash or something he really is like a feral fucking animal or some shit

[nguyenfinity]

Presenting EnSeason, a monthly release magazine featuring ES idols! This inaugural January issue is Trickstar following the announcement of their TRIP album :]

Image without text below the cut:

rendering got my ass on this one

[doctorweebmd]

ok my OTHER reflection:

on the one hand its really frustrating to see the posts about docs and healthcare in general on here be so narrow-minded. bad experiences with certain providers have lead to a huge spread of misinformation and mistrust with the whole system. which can and HAS lead to people avoiding 'evil' doctors for perfectly treatable illnesses and dying from them (the vaccine bullshit, anyone?)

but on the other hand. it is TERRIFYING how some of these docs practice medicine. at times i think 'are you just burned out and don't give a shit or are you straight up just stupid?' and i work in critical care. where quite literally every case is life or death. even in the academic sector where there is supposedly a standard of excellence, some doctors i would not let touch my loved ones with a ten foot pole.

and that sucks. i know this is the no nuance piss on the poor webbed site but 'the medical system and people that work for it are fallible and aspects of it are morally questionable at best/unethical at worst' AND 'the field of medicine exists to help people first and foremost and mistrusting/avoiding it can be detrimental in the long run' can and DO co-exist

[princessofghosts-posts]

Omg it's been a while since I saw Regal Academy,I loved that show and it's like Ever After High all over,but with a solid plot and episodes instead of just having shorts websode. Anyway,yeah,Ever After kids also have pets but they all basically have dragons with palette that match them,instead of being different like Regal Academy's students. I didn't even remembered Hunter's squirrel to be honest,maybe there are more but I just can't remember them.

Thalia is like Cupid,girl is working overtime to make everything's ok,to make sure Piper and Jason are fine and that her little brother doesn't have to follow their destiny. She is a real one.

I love your idea for the cthonic kids,having them sparkle the rebellion and prove them all that it's just propaganda made by Kronos and their parents,because they are scared of their children not following their myths,is a good way to insert them slowly into the school's society. They can't be isolated for long if they are the one that helps the other to understand better their situation. Also,I love how you paraphrased how feed up their are with everyone except their parents,because it reminds me of the Wonderland kids with their parents. Lizzie,Kitty and Maddie have the healthiest child-parent relationships ever in that show. This is exactly how I see them with their parents. The Underworld kids are just chilling while trying to overthrow a government because they are sick of the rules,I love it. Make that detention room their secret lair,where they organize their plans,and Mr.D. the teacher that is lowkey with them,supporting them in silence,because he can't show it in a very open manner.

Percy having his mentality changed by Nico is such a good parallelism to PJO,where Percy tried to help Nico but failed (when in BotL he wanted Nico to come back to CHB to be safe),only that this type Nico actually succeed in helping him. Percy slowly shaking off his mentality of "I want to make dad proud so I must do this" with their helps,would be a great touch.

At the same time his relationship with Annabeth grow and he start to realize how fucked up everything was. Annabeth doesn't really like him at the start,but once she see him trying to change and struggling,she tries to help him. Little by little they become friends and understand each other point of view. The problem? They are still only children,so unfortunately no older or even younger siblings to pass their destiny,and they unfortunately needs to go through them. The solution? They escape from the school because they want to live their life. This makes the whole school in shambles because "The crown prince of Atlantis escaped?!? What do you mean the granddaughter of the King is with him??!" so they launch an campaign to find them,but some of the students helps them stay hidden and safe (mainly Ethan because he see this as his big occasion to say "Fuck you,your school and your rules Kronos!"). They later come back only after Athena and Poseidon had some characters growth,accepting them and the fact that they don't want to follow their footsteps.

I honestly love what you did for Solangelo and I won't change a things. Nico sleeping and falling from a tree on Will is too hilarious to change. I'm weak to "Nico being there for Will,helping him in everything and protecting him" type of narrative,so having him gets up from the floor and being all protective of the fact that Will was alone in the forest is so good for me. I like the details about Nico's power slowly draining him and Lou Ellen helping him with them,she truly is his ride or die. Nico probably is the most fragile one of their group (even tho he can stand his own grands) so they always panick when somethings wrong with him,both because he is their friends and prince ("Do we tell the king that his son looks like he is dying?" ; "No Ethan,we try to see what the hell is going on!" ; "You guys realize that I'm only sleeping right?"). Him finding comfort in Will,and also a solution to his problems,is so cute and I'm totally down for it. They are soulmates!

I'm getting invested again in Ever After High (it's like the blueprint for Descendants and just an extremely better version if you never heard of it) and my mind had this brilliant idea of AU.

You know how the kids of the fairytales characters had to go to school to follow their parents destinies? And how some of them didn't want to because they were horrible and didn't what that? The whole division between royals (the people who wanted to follow their destiny) and rebels (those who didn't?)? That,but with percy jackson characters.

Make them all go to a school where they have to follow their parents footsteps,but while some of them want to and have a good relationship with their parents and people (like Percy),some just can't stand it,want nothing to do with it and try to escape from it (like Thalia).

And Kronos (for our mental sanity he is related only to the greek little 3 trio,otherwise it gets messy-) is like the evil headmaster that want them to follow their destiny like their parents did. And after he gets "dethroned" by the main gang,someone else take his stop and abolish the whole "childrens needs to follow their parents footsteps/myths" so all of them can have their own future.

DO YOU SEE THE VISION?

[moregraceful]

many things i have been keeping under wraps at work, such as pronouns, but also, very critically, age. bc i got that ageless mixed race asian swag where i am very clearly not an undergrad but also??? they just don't know. and it WHIPS and it is so funny to ME because all the managers and shift supervisors are like damn this girl in her mid-twenties is so easy to talk to, it's like talking to a peer. surprise bitch i'm older than you. and maybe this means i'm performing psychological experiments on cis men, but i am ngl if i hand you a two page resume that you don't read, it is simply none of MY business if you think i am in my mid-20s. they are going to be so mad when they find out lmao

[ruvviks]

fun art comparison for you

[riiviir]

hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!

[anachilles]

firehouse!au 🚒🥃 ships as:

*gets their order made slightly incorrectly and wasn't gonna say anything about it* - buck, croz, dougie, kenny

"excuse me, he asked for no pickles" - bucky, joe, everett, rosie