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i ❤️ doom patrol (2019-2023)
#screenshots that need paragraphs of context to explain#doom patrol#mine#ik im just in the soup but the musical episode was sooooo good like HDHSJJAJJSJDG AHHHHH#every day i feel deranged
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A Clone Wars Episode Deep Dive
I didn't discover The Clone Wars fandom until 2021 and only started watching the show in mid-2023 (finished a few months ago), and I want to discuss and analyze all sorts of odds and ends—years after most people watched. This includes cool stuff in episodes I think some fans understandably skip when doing re-watches and therefore no longer remember well, but I’m digging into one of them anyway. So, have a long post about S2:E11, "Lightsaber Lost," and then come talk to me about it if you’d like!
This episode is saying three things at once, and the closer you get to the symbolic message meant for mostly adult audiences, the wilder things get.
The literal plot: Ahsoka’s lightsaber is stolen, and she recovers it with the help of a Jedi elder who teaches her life lessons along the way.
The morality tale for young viewers: gun control (a bold choice).
An eerie interlude for older viewers: A pair of brief scenes—only 45 seconds or so in length combined—communicate the future purge of the Jedi order via symbolic visual storytelling and a speech that’s being broadcast in the background. No dialogue required.
I'm going to focus on this third bullet point, but I also recommend a re-watch for the gun control angle. (Hint: if you think the writers are only arguing for handling guns responsibly, you haven’t taken the Jedi’s current context into account; also, the writers aren't referring to literal in-universe guns—Ahsoka’s lightsaber is the gun.)
Back to the episode’s message for older viewers: Split over two scenes, the audience watches Ahsoka chase a bounty hunter in possession of her lightsaber, then the bounty hunter partially damage and destabilize an enormous levitating billboard so she can get away from Ahsoka, and finally Ahsoka tumble down and precariously cling to the billboard’s screen. The billboard shows Palpatine delivering a—likely prerecorded—speech that is meant to sound supportive of the Jedi, but is instead priming Coruscant residents to believe anti-Jedi rhetoric; just before this two-scene sequence ends, Palpatine also begins to explain why he needs more executive power in order to support the Jedi.
It's great to pinpoint an example of Palatine's propaganda, but what does the visual storytelling communicate, with this speech for a backdrop?
Note: the text of Palpatine’s speech, shown in captions in the following screenshots, is not in alt text as that would chop the speech up between image descriptions, and is instead in a single paragraph after the final screenshot.
Palpatine's Speech
"I have no doubt that the Jedi are doing their very best to ensure the safety of every citizen in the Republic. The accusations that the Jedi created the Clone War to give themselves more power over the government is absurd and I will not stand for it."
Ahsoka as Symbolically at Palpatine's Mercy
After a scene break, Palatine's speech picks up mid-sentence and we see just how small and vulnerable Ahsoka is compared to Palpatine's soaring and vast projection. She appears entirely at his mercy, and somewhat at the mercy of Coruscant as well.
Palpatine's Speech, Resumed
"…Count Dooku and his droid army. To support the Jedi's efforts in the war, I ask the Senate to pass these new laws, giving more jurisdiction…"
The Genocide to Come
As this speech is broadcast to Coruscant, the seemingly trustworthy and dependable Chancellor of the Republic symbolically collapses beneath Ahsoka and leaves her stranded over a chasm. All while Palpatine spreads propaganda that will eventually convince the public to support her people's genocide.
Perhaps the best way to describe this is:
An unarmed Ahsoka struggles to hang onto the edge of a high precipice, that precipice is a symbol for Palpatine—and in a few years, Palpatine will shove the entire Jedi order off the edge of a much higher cliff.
Given how the sheer visual scale of Palpatine in this second scene represents the power he can wield over the Jedi—as the staging emphasizes Ahsoka's relative smallness and her physical vulnerability—it's clear the Jedi will not be able to rescue themselves when this future betrayal comes; Palpatine has amassed too much power and put too many plans in place. And no one who's bought into Palpatine's propaganda will try to catch the Jedi when they go over the edge.
Ahsoka’s Survival
Ahsoka’s individual survival of Order 66 is signaled here by her ability to get off the levitating billboard, but nothing about the staging suggests this comes down to unique skill—any number of well-trained Jedi could have gotten out of her predicament when the right opportunity (a single speeder that veers out of its lane and passes unusually close to the screen) presented itself.
In both “Lightsaber Lost” and "Victory and Death" (S7:E12, see below), her survival involves flinging herself through open air (and into an out-of-place flying vehicle), a nice nod to Ahsoka’s association with flight and Morai, though I feel like that’s a coincidence (?) as of season 2. Or maybe not. I have no idea if Ahsoka’s symbolic associations—flight in the case of “Lightsaber Lost,” rather than Morai specifically—were planned out in advance.
What About the Propaganda?
Returning to season 2, we come to the final big-picture takeaway of the "Lightsaber Lost" scenes: I’ve referred to Palpatine’s speech as something that plays in the background because Ahsoka doesn’t pay attention to his propaganda, even though it’s literally in her face. What does this mean if we treat Ahsoka as a stand-in for the Jedi, and Palpatine’s speech as a stand-in for his growing threat to the Jedi? In these scenes, Ahsoka first doesn’t pay attention because she’s trying to stay alive in precarious circumstances, just as Jedi across the galaxy are kept distracted from the big picture by trying to keep themselves, their Padawans, their troops, and civilians alive as war swallows up the galaxy. Then, Ahsoka is distracted by tracking the bounty hunter who has her lightsaber; in the context of this episode (which asks, ‘who should be allowed to use a lightsaber, and when?’), Ahsoka’s lightsaber also comes to represent Jedi’s efforts to fight the Clone Wars as ethically as possible. It presumably takes more time and effort to fight a war when you’re concerned with morals, at least when the opposition is perfectly happy to commit war crimes. By tossing the Jedi into a war, Palpatine keeps them too busy to systemically search for the Master Sith (in addition to Sith stuff diminishing the Jedi’s ability to use the force), as their time is eaten up by upholding the equivalent of the Geneva and Hague Conventions (etc.) when almost no one else is, by protecting as many other lives as possible, and by staying alive.
And The Clone Wars communicates all of this in a minute! Though I’ll admit my final point about Ahsoka’s lightsaber representing ethical combat is a stretch. I love it when TV shows and movies make full use of visual storytelling, and The Clone Wars is fabulous at it.
Whew—and that’s that! I’m grateful if even a single person has read this far and would love to know what you think, but regardless, I had fun analyzing this episode and organizing my thoughts about it. Cheers to the Clone Wars fandom.
#ahsoka tano#ahsoka#the clone wars#star wars#jedi#order 66#sheev palpatine#star wars meta#beloved jedi#skykind meta
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It's always telling that the only time when transandro bros even dain to recognize intracommunity transmisogyny, it's only when they're forced to distance themselves from the rampant transmisogynists in their community whose transmisogyny is so cartoonish it becomes undeniable. And it's only to preserve image and position themselves as the non-reactionary alternative.
They did it when one of their own sent out rapey sexual harassment copypasta anons to trans lesbians. They did this when already infamous "transmisogyny group chat"/"The TMRA Radfems warned you about" faggotwithopinions/transmascpeterwenz treated becoming mutuals with the CEO who permabanned a trans woman for no reason and followed her off-site to violate privacy data protections in order to paint her as a sex pest as Huge Get. They did this when TERFs felt comfortable with their communities transmisogyny to openly talk about how they plan to use transandro bros specifically to drive a wedge in the trans community, something trans andro bros accuse transfeminists of all the time.
And when I say it's only in these cases it is ONLY in these wildly cartoonish scenarios. Back when the "transmisogyny group chat" was still fresh news, something that usually happens when a queer transmisogynist shows their full ass happened. A bunch of TERFs who stalk these discourses because they're obsessed with trans women went into his anons to send the most vile hate they could summon while pretending to be trans women so our abusers have something they can point to to play victim. And all the transandro bros took these ANONYMOUS HATE MESSAGES sending gendered slurs/sexual harassment at FACE VALUE when they said they were coming from trans women. It got so bad that prominent transandro bro GenderKoolaid when "dissecting and analyzing" a cropped screenshot of a post by Predstrogen (you know the trans woman who was later outsted by the CEO himself) made some wild speculation about how an offhand comment about "transfems taking the piss" was a direct joke reveling in this harassment.
And there are still plenty of blatant transmisogynists that are propped up as prominent members of the transandro community because they haven't had their own "Me and CarExplosionsHammer Photomatt are besties!" moment. There's the aforementioned GenderKoolaid who routinely engaged with "critiquing" transfeminists posts out of context behind their back and alongside spacelazarwolf has promoted the kiwifarms style blog transandrophobia-archive.
They harbor loads of ex TERFs. ftmtftm who left a 31 paragraph college dissertation with proper citations carefully explaining why I'm either purposely unintellectual or actually stupid and what I was saying was radfeminism aktually when I was looking through his blog before blocking him I saw 1) him lamenting about feeling abandoned by the radfem community he was apparently raised by and 2) him sighing with fucking "transmisoginy group chat" faggotwithopinions of all people about how "these Actual Transmisogynists™ make it so hard for us Actually Nice TMRAs and we need to put an effort to come across as considerate to their experiences with them when we engage with transfems" acting like they they aren't the very problem they are complaining about.
An out Ex-TERF nothorses is responsible for cultivating the current transandro echo chamber tried to use his influence in the community he helped create to try and redefine TERF to try to allow for the label to paradoxically include trans women. After that he wrote an anti-transfeminist manifesto that "defined" Beaddelism and cited open TERF sources. And this manifesto is still constantly linked by transandro bros whenever someone outside the discourse asks what a beaddel is.
The transmisogyny is so bad in their community but simultaneously is explicitly an outlier and not representative of them. Every prominent member is transmisogynists Georg and should not be counted but only when you can prove he is unequivocally, beyond the shadow of a doubt, transmisogynist. Up until then everything he does is fine until it's not.
To transandro bros "transmisogynistic trans men" is this Mystical Other problem that can only be solved with better PR and is completely unaddressable and says nothing about their community at all. Something that they've wholly separated from themselves that's only addressed in the theoretical until they're forced to confront it because they've fostered it so much it's become too big to ignore.
Like if your truly "one of the good ones" whose "only trying to talk about specific issues trans men face" then ask yourself why you've aligned with an ideology founded directly in opposition to transfeminis?. Why do you stand with a community whose mest well regarded members are also some of the most rampant transmisogynists on this site? Why you are constantly having to do PR work to not be instantly regarded as on the transmisogynists that you're community has become known for?Why you refuse to address the transmisogyny problem so much that out and proud TERFs feel comfortable enough to walk right in and start proposing "AMAB supremacy" theory?
Like I've said before. The disgusting actions and behaviors from the community alone are enough to not regard any "theory" they put forth to excuse it.
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i'd love to hear about manmaru metadede !!! i heard it's really Gay but no one ever details it. not a lot of it is translated too, as far as i know, but i really like it.. any excuse to talk about something you like is good too
NO YEA not a lot is translated and the manga itself is already more niche compared to like, mopupupu so its not too well known. translation efforts have really started picking up the past year though (shoutout to @/kirby-manga-translated they do great work). if it needed to be restated for new followers since i havent tl'd in a while, i know a decent amount of japanese so i read them on my own :)c
shoutout to my guy @/rosakikoza as well for giving me his scans hehe. the majority of images below are his or taken from his scans. the rest are mine
*deep breath* the tangent. im gonna need to put this under a cut dont mind me 😍😍😍 did i say 3 paragraphs? i meant 20. like 20 paragraphs
meta knight is absolutely pathetic and incredibly down bad for dedede this manga. its adorable. multiple people ive talked to or seen have come to the conclusion it seems like he has a huge crush on him. a quick brief for those who dont know but this mangas meta is admittedly Veryyyyy different from how you'd expect a meta knight to be. uncharacteristically friendly and cheerful and. pathetic is really the best word for it. hes kinda a loser. incredibly protective of dedede, he switches between two modes of fussing over him quite a bit and semi-often going into incredible rage bloodlust modes over protecting him or his image (youll see a good amount of jp fanwork depict this version of him as a yandere for that reason)
theres also been more than one occasion where meta knight tries to commit seppuku upon accidently doing something he sees as unforgivable towards his king (its in the chapter i just screenshotted above too, another time he broke dededes clock and freaked out about it). i-. dont consider this a cute ship thing for the record im just stating it to emphasize the extent of metas obsession towards dedede this manga. the mans got Problems...
apart from that, also quite differing from most interpretations of both of them, both of them seem to genuinely really like spending time around each other all the time. it comes off as casually domestic and is very cute...
regardless of my attempts to brief it, i dont feel like im explaining this very well so lemme just show you a frankly ridiculous amount of reasons for why i keep feeling like this mangaka ships metadede
-fake kiss: self explanatory
-fake proposal: also self explanatory
mk: Will you marry me!?
ddd: Yes!
context for this scene is that theyre rehearsing for a play, but actually its later revealed that meta knight is playing the princess while dedede is playing the male protag so im not exactly sure it makes sense that hes the one proposing here. my speculation is that to make the proposal seem legit for the gag they Had to use meta LMAO but thats just my take
also to be noted, right after kirby hears the proposal he immediately runs off and tries to tell everyone the news before ddd+mk stop him and explain that its fake. hes not thrown off or weirded out at the idea that they could be getting married in the slightest. kirby says gay rights Real i love him sm
-this one is from what i call the memory loss chapter:
dedede loses his memories from getting hit in the head too hard. the gang figures out that beating dedede up or otherwise causing him injury causes him to regain some of them back though, to which kirby attempts to harm him with increasingly violent means, much to meta knights horror. mk spends the entire chapter trying to protect dedede from him, and it doesnt work obviously, but after a particularly hard hit dedede remembers everyone again... except for meta knight. to which meta knight gets upset about and lets kirby lay into dedede for real. you see where people get the yandere personality from now right. i dont recall this trait coming out too often but ill talk more about it later
-the whole chapter thats a cinderella retelling with dedede and meta knight. also also self explanatory COME ON LOOK AT THIS ONE. LOOK AT IT.
mk: Y…You're…
ddd: Wow, he's so beautiful!! It's like I'm dreaming…!
-theres the mangaka chapter which is a more recent one
the gang makes manga for dedede. meta knight's manga is about how cool, brave, and heroic dedede is. mysteriously enough however the only thing hes good at is drawing dededes face and nothing else. the implications of this one drive me absolutely insane. is it supposed to imply that meta knight stares at his face all day?? admires his appearance??? he looks at him so much he basically has his face memorized????? HUH???????? theres no heterosexual explanation for this. acting like a teenager with a crush out here got damn
=various images im sharing out of context because they r cute
head pats. holding hands and reaching the goal together. peak.
KNIGHT DRESSUP FOR THE KNIGHT. AHAAHGH
ddd: Hoho, pretty spiffy don'cha think?
mk: Ohh!? It suits you!!
fellas is it gay to shout "OHH! META KNIGHT!!" with a dopey grin on your face upon being saved like a damsel in distress
sometimes meta knight acts domestic as fuck too. his copy abilities as he states are: cook! clean!! and sleep!!!
regarding my thoughts on their dynamic in this series overall, i think theyre absolutely adorable. meta knight emits dog energy in this one. eager golden retriever towards dedede, though dedede has his sweet moments towards meta knight too. (viewing it with a shipping lens just for this post ofc) while meta is the more active crusher, some of the stuff above seems to imply that dedede has feelings in return as well :') they just get along really well too its great. theres a different chapter where they perform as a comedy duo. theyve done plays in multiple chapters. its my hc for these versions of them that they love doing performances of all kinds together and do a lot of rehearsals and writing in their free time...
and the yandere stuff i feel like i should address as well. i try not to take some aspects Too seriously because its to be expected things are over emphasized for the sake of the joke with gag mangas. but oh man the man definitely has problems. he needs therapy. i tried to be transparent in listing those aspects as well so people can make their own conclusions on it But theres one more thing id like to mention regarding that
meta knights personality has been shifting to be different from what i listed, as of the most recent volume. my beloved forgotten land arc... a first for this series in that, while the chapters still retain their gag humor and dont take themselves that seriously, its a serialized story that mostly follows along with the game plot that lasts nearly the whole volume (as opposed to other game arcs in this manga being episodic stories, using the games as their theme rather than a full on setting). with the more serious tone of the serialized story, theres a frankly startling hint of character development i never wouldve expected from a gag manga at the end of it
kirby gets ko'd the first round of the meta knight cup so meta knight joins the meta knight cup instead. turns out when he does that the final boss of the cup is dedede. meta knight Really doesnt want to hurt dedede and so dedede promptly kicks his ass without a second thought and wins the tournament. while the crowd cheers for dedede's victory, meta and dedede have a small talk where dedede tells him he doesnt need to fuss so much about hurting him/him getting hurt. presumably this is supposed to mark the end of meta knights intense overprotectiveness because (its never been clear-cut due to the nature of the manga previously, so its a lil hard to say) dededes shown he can handle himself, or like, isnt some fragile thing. i really hope itll stick around because i think its a great addition to both of their characters. the meta-knights have also been appearing way more frequently as of very recent chapters (ones that havent been compiled into a volume yet) which seem to also hint to meta knight getting more independence to his character from dedede's loyal servant. im very excited to see where it goes :D
and like, last last disclaimer if anyone needed it; even tho i love metadede and i like to see things through ship glasses sometimes i absolutely try my best to keep my biases out of my translations. putting out accurate translations means a lot to me! this entire post is me purposely putting the ship glasses on so please dont take it as "omg metadede is canon in this manga". you know way back when i was the only active translator for this manga someone tweeted at the mangaka on twitter mentioning that there were english translations around and he replied to that person. didnt respond to the fan translation thing specifically but the fact that he could know who i am definitely kinda terrifies me. if anyone goes around saying that his manga is the metadede manga because of me and he even has the slightest sliver of a chance of seeing that i will kill yall fr LOL
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I've been saying this for a while, but finding this post on my dash has, I feel, given me more tools to express this thought about why Jews (especially in the US and American-dominated online spaces) are feeling increasingly alienated by their leftist friends. Why many Jews who otherwise lean left will vote right, much to the dismay and even revulsion of their leftist friends. Why many Jews end up feeling "safer" leaning right. Why it is not fair or reasonable to "blame" these Jews for exercising their democratic right of secret ballot in such a way.
I'm screenshotting the post because (a) it's long, and (b) most of its content is not actually the point here. I'm not trying to argue with the OP or with my acquaintance who reblogged it onto my dash. I just want to explain what I find troubling about it.
The post is, as I said, long. I'll be honest: I only skimmed it. I'm not American. So skimming past - scrolling past to see the rest of my dash - I saw a lot of things where my brain went "Oh, that looks bad," but, you know, in a vague sort of way. Bad, but doesn't impact me directly. Or bad, but not in a way I can do anything about it either way (especially since I can't vote in the US). Or bad-ish, but that's not an issue of deep importance to me personally. And then I saw this:
And suddenly I felt hostile to the OP, because oh look, they just lumped in supporting my homeland, where my family live, which is currently under attack and in dire need of support, as a "bad" thing. Suddenly I feel like OP hates me, or at least, considers my continued existence on their own list of "bad-ish, but that's not an issue of deep importance to me personally."
But you know what? I kept scrolling. It felt like such a mild lip-service anti-Israel line that I thought, "Maybe this person doesn't hate Jews and Israel so much." I reevaluated my initial hostile response and decided to give OP a second chance, to walk it back. It sickens me that I've gotten so used to racism against my people that some expressions of it just don't register anymore. But I kept scrolling, and it got worse.
So what I'm reading here is an excerpt from the document that sounds, to me as a Jewish person, eminently reasonable and reassuring. Couched in language and context from OP that wants to paint it as a bad thing that the writers of this document believe that Israel, the Jewish state and Jewish indigenous homeland, should be able to defend itself against... *checks notes* three terrorist organizations with genocide against Jews explicitly in their mandate, and one dictatorship country which has repeatedly expressed that it has the desire and is working on having the means to "wipe Israel off the map."
Perhaps OP has been living under a rock (or, like me, only really focuses on political updates that hit close to home) for the past 7 and a half months and is unaware of Hamas's horrific attack of October 7, 2023 against Israel, in which civilians were brutally slaughtered, young women raped, mutilated bodies paraded through the streets, and dozens abducted - many of whom are still in captivity to the terrorist organization which has not allowed any humanitarian visits to the hostages or even confirmed proof of life for those it still holds.
But when I read the above excerpted paragraph, I went from "I'm not American but I guess most of this sounds vaguely bad" to "I hope this party wins." "I hope that this specific part of this platform is implemented because it is offering support, protection, and safety for me and my family."
You - OP and people who share their views; you as non-Jews who do not share in our unique suffering - you have no right to blame us for choosing our own survival. I would expect you to prioritize yours, as well.
It is things like this - not this platform, but this post, lumping in support of Israel against three terrorist organizations and a genocidal dictatorship with all the other "bad" things like deforestation and nuclear weapons, that push Jews to the right, or at least away from this part of the left. It is reading things like this, that take it for granted that my family and I should not be protected, should not have a right to live in our home, that radicalize people like me.
You're right: most of the other things here are things I would deem as "bad," but if I embrace this platform with open arms at least I get to survive, to fight against the rest another day. Better than rejecting it in favour of someone who has otherwise wonderful ideals but wants me dead.
I want to be able to care about all the other "bad" things in that post, in that document, but right now, we are bleeding. If I had to vote on it right now, I would choose whoever penned this document or stands behind it, because I need to prioritize my safety and continued survival over any other platform issue, and if I am not for myself, who will be for me?
Not my friends on the left who decry support of Israel against genocidal terrorists as a bad thing, that's for sure.
#am i jewish tumblr#jumblr#antisemitism#israel#rule 6#the problem with a two-party system#the problem with politics#if you lump caring about me in with the things you hate#don't complain when i draw the conclusion that you hate me#if you lump caring about me in with things done by people you hate#don't complain when i throw my lot in with them#all hypothetical since i can't vote in the us#but the principal is more widely applicable#im ein ani li mi li#if i am not for myself who will be for me
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Oh hiiii um I had a quick question.. Ik I asked one already but can you teach me how to write scripts for videos ;-; I talk way to much without scripts or guidelines and it annoys me SO MUCH I wanna make a video about the problems / issues of rh and there is so much to cover it’s wild and I already see myself sitting there for like 1 hour + rambling about random stuff ;w;
This is going to be a very long answer so buckle up:
All of what I’m about to say in this paragraph is optional. I use Google Docs for my scripts since it’s easy to navigate and format on mobile. Before writing anything, I always make sure to change the font to make things easier to read later on during recording. I also make sure to space out paragraphs and even sentences by their own to make the script more comprehensive. Spacing things out is also a great way to show emphasis on one-liners and avoid too much rambling.
(Just as an additional note: I use Times New Roman in 11pt for my format. You can use any font that you find more readable)
After I’m done with formatting, I always set an outline for the script first. This is extremely good if you struggle with rambling since this is where I brainstorm ideas and points to add in the video. You can be messy with this but be short and concise; Use bulletpoints. Write down what topics you want to discuss, what points you want to make, etc.
After brainstorming, I then organize these bulletpoints into categories that will then determine what my video chapters will be about. If you have several bulletpoints about… let’s say, the Royale High devs, you can put that into one category. Then if you have bulletpoints about the community, you can put that into a category as well. It’s a pretty simple process but can be a bit time consuming when you’re not used to it.
After you got your categories ready, organize them as well and determine which ones you should discuss first. For me, I often go by a chronological order. I either:
Rank them by least to worst (Such as my 30 minute Royale High rant)
Rank them by least important to most important (Such as my latest DWM episode about my interests)
Rank them by time of events (Such as my Kooleen video)
You also might want to get screenshots (+ links) and add them to your document as well so you don’t forget any proof you need to show.
Once you’ve got all that done, you’re ready to start writing. Always remember the outline of your script and use page breaks or horizontal lines to signify where a category ends. You can always write drafts first, organize paragraphs and remove unnecessary rambling later on if needed.
Also, make sure to title each category in your document. Whether it be by numbers or the topic name itself so you don’t get lost navigating through your script. If you’re listing down things in the script, always remember to use bulletpoints to make it easier to read.
( PS: Don’t forget to explain and add context to what you’re talking about. Not everyone will know what you’re referring to so it’s best to first start off the script with a basic rundown of what happened or what you’re discussing. )
Just as an example, here’s a quick sneakpeek into one of the rants I have ready to go for the new channel:
Hope this helps 🫶 You’ll get used to scripting the more you do it. Just don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You can always delete them after proofreading. Good luck!!
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How do I get apps' ranking in the iOS app store?
Achieving a high ranking in the iOS App Store is essential for the visibility and success of any app. With millions of apps competing for attention, optimizing your app for better rankings requires a strategic approach. Here’s a comprehensive guide on how to enhance your app's ranking in the iOS App Store.
1. Keyword Optimization
Keywords play a crucial role in how users find your app. Here’s how to effectively optimize your app's keywords:
Research Relevant Keywords: Use tools like App Annie, Sensor Tower, or Apple’s own App Store Connect to identify high-traffic keywords related to your app. Look for terms with moderate competition that can still drive downloads.
Optimize Title and Subtitle: Incorporate primary keywords into your app's title and subtitle. The title should be concise, memorable, and relevant, while the subtitle should provide additional context and include secondary keywords.
Use Keyword Field Effectively: The keyword field allows you to include additional keywords that don’t fit into your title or subtitle. Use this space wisely, avoiding duplicates and irrelevant terms.
2. Compelling App Description
Your app’s description is critical for both user engagement and search visibility. Consider the following tips:
First Impressions Matter: The first few lines of your description are crucial, as they are visible without needing to expand the text. Use this space to highlight your app’s unique features and benefits.
Call-to-Action (CTA): Encourage users to download your app with strong CTAs. Phrases like “Download now for exclusive features!” can drive conversion rates.
Formatting: Use bullet points, headings, and short paragraphs to make your description easy to read. This helps retain user interest and improves readability.
3. Eye-Catching App Icon and Screenshots
Visual elements significantly impact user engagement and conversion rates. Here’s what to keep in mind:
Design a Unique Icon: Your app icon should stand out and reflect the app's purpose. A distinctive icon can significantly improve click-through rates.
Showcase Features in Screenshots: Use high-quality screenshots that demonstrate the app’s functionality and user interface. Consider adding captions to explain features clearly.
Include Videos: If possible, include a short video showcasing your app in action. This can significantly enhance user engagement and interest.
4. Encourage Positive Reviews and Ratings
User reviews and ratings are critical ranking factors in the App Store algorithm. Here’s how to manage this aspect effectively:
Ask for Reviews: Prompt users to leave positive reviews after they’ve had a good experience with your app. You can use in-app prompts to request feedback at appropriate moments.
Respond to Feedback: Engage with users by responding to their reviews, both positive and negative. This demonstrates that you value user feedback and are committed to improving the app.
Address Negative Reviews: Take constructive criticism seriously. Address common issues mentioned in negative reviews in updates to enhance user satisfaction.
5. Regular Updates
Frequent updates signal to both users and the App Store that your app is active and improving. Regularly update your app to fix bugs, enhance features, and add new content. This can lead to increased user retention and positive reviews, ultimately boosting your app's ranking.
6. Leverage Social Media and Marketing
Promoting your app outside the App Store can drive traffic and downloads, which are vital for ranking:
Create a Website or Landing Page: Having an official website can help promote your app and improve visibility. Use SEO strategies to drive organic traffic.
Engage on Social Media: Use platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook to reach your target audience. Share content, updates, and promotions to build a community around your app.
Influencer Marketing: Collaborate with influencers to reach a broader audience. An endorsement from a popular figure can drive significant downloads and boost rankings.
7. Utilize ASO Techniques
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Why ASOeShop is One of the Best Platforms to Get Apps Ranking in the iOS App Store?
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wish i could be less self-consious and just finally post some screenshots of my game, but every time i feel like i need to write at least three paragraphs of context and it's just killing my mood to post anything 😭 like look at this
what is even going on or here
why Pascal's hair is like this man 😭 i feel the urge to explain everything, but have no stamina to do so
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A Guide to Star Guardians for Non-League Players
So... if you like magical girls and you’ve seen Star Guardians around, you might have wanted to see what it’s all about! The problem is, Star Guardians is a skin line in league of legends so the actual content for it is split up in different places and it’s not clear where to start if you don’t already know a lot about it. So I’ve compiled all the official Star Guardian content that I know of in mostly chronological release order, and I’ll offer explanations and context about each part where I can! Some stuff is links to videos and stories, and some is screenshots from the games for small in-game things. I might over-explain some things so I apologise for how wordy this is!
First of all, I’ll be talking about 3 separate games here:
League of Legends - The main game, has been around for ages, I’m sure you’ve heard of it, very toxic gamers, etc.
Wild Rift - The mobile version of League of Legends, has only been around for a few years so it doesn’t have all the same characters/skins yet, sometime has unique skins that aren’t in league of legends
Legends of Runeterra - A card game with the same characters and world but entirely different gameplay, in this game a “skin” is just different card art and sometimes a single different level-up animation, there’s no character model you play with to put a skin on
As this story universe is based on in-game skins as a starting point, new lore and content comes every time new skins are released, which is usually a new team of guardians.
Since these characters are just skins, no knowledge of the regular characters in Runeterra (the name of the world in the regular universe) is needed! For example: many people will know Jinx from Arcane, but Star Guardian Jinx is an entirely different version of the character made for a different universe. Same goes for K/DA and True Damage members in the music skin universe who a lot of people know only in that context.
When I list new characters, I’ll link to their official character profiles which you can read to get to know them before watching/reading any videos/stories they’re in. Trust me, they’ll make more sense that way!
2016
New Stars - a short story
Now, this is only a few paragraphs long with some images but I can’t for the life of me find where it was officially published. Great start, you’ll have to make do with some screenshots of the same content on the wiki:
Skins released:
Lux (Was actually released before all of this, the whole skin line came from the success of her one-off magical girl skin)
Jinx
Janna
Poppy
Lulu
Burning Bright - Animated music video
Star Guardian Jinx Interactions
Jinx has something called a legendary skin, which is a more expensive type of skin that has more unique features than a regular one. The main differences are unique animations (normal skins have to conform to the animations of the regular character) and more importantly for the lore, unique voice lines. Star guardian Lux, for example, has the same voice lines as regular Lux which has nothing to do with Star Guardians. So this means that legendary Star Guardian skins have voice lines that can give insight into their character. Some will be generic things to say when performing actions in the game, but the lines they say towards other characters are at least worth hearing I think. They’re mostly not technically canon, but basically “what if this character met this one”.
For all legendary skins, I’ll link to videos by SkinSpotlights who kindly compiles them!
2017
Skins released:
Ahri
Miss ‘Sarah’ Fortune (In the main Runeterra universe her name is Sarah Fortune but she’s referred to as Miss Fortune)
Soraka
Syndra
Ezreal
A New Horizon - Animated video
Starfall - Short story
Star Guardian Ahri Interactions
Invasion - PVE game mode
This was only for a limited time which I wasn’t there for, but I found a video of the gameplay.
2018
This year’s Star Guardian skins were a little different in that they were just versions of previous Star Guardians in onesies themed around their familiars! They don’t have separate profiles since they’re the same characters so you can see them all below:
Miss fortune, Ezreal, Lux, Lulu and Soraka
The Slumber Party Summoning - Short story
2019
The Twilight Star - Short story
Skins released:
Neeko
Xayah & Rakan*
Zoe
*The character profiles don’t represent Xayah and Rakan at this point in the story, so I’ll link them later. For now what you need to know is Xayah and rakan were members of Ahri’s original team who were killed, revived and corrupted by Zoe. They now fight against the Star Guardians because they believe that their friends left them to die on purpose. Also they’re very in love, which is why they’re always paired together. Xayah’s Familiar is Saki (left) and Rakan’s is Riku (right)
Light and Shadow - Animated music video
Star Guardian Xayah and Rakan Interactions
2022
Yes that’s right, there was nothing new for two years, only for the biggest Star Guardian Event yet which is only just coming to an end! There’s a lot of content across games which means different stories lines were released simultaneously, so I’ll just be putting it in the order I think makes most sense!
Return to Valoran City - Short animated event teaser (worth watching for the pretty art and to get a feel for the setting)
Before looking at the new skins I recommend reading this first:
Twin Stars - Short story
It introduces a few of the new characters a year before they become guardians and their story starts, and sets up what’s going on with the previous characters currently!
Skins released in League of Legends:
Kai’sa
Akali
Taliyah
Ekko
Sona
Rell
Quinn
Nilah
(Star Nemesis) Morgana
(Star Nemesis) Fiddlesticks
Everything Goes On - Animated music video
This sets up the simultanious stories, with Kai’sa as the main character in League of Legends and Xayah in Wild Rift. Next I’ll list the League of Legends content, and we’ll come back to Wild Rift.
Another Sky - In-game visual novel
This is the meat of the content, it has 5 chapters including the epilogue for the main narrative, and shorter side stories for each individual member of the team. The visual novel is only available in the game client, and after the event it won’t be playable anymore, so I’ve linked a playlist of uploads to youtube.
This does mean you can’t see all the different dialogue options, but I couldn’t find an upload that shows all of them so I’ll update this if any pop up. There’s only a few different lines after each different choice before it goes back to the same content. It’s not a “your choices have consequences” kind of thing.
The main story and character stories are mixed together weirdly in this playlist, but the video titles are clear enough. The side stories can be read in any order, before, during, or after the main story.
Shadow of a Doubt - Animated Video about Akali
Set around the middle of the visual novel, but it doesn’t really matter when you watch it.
Star Guardian Kai’sa Interactions
Star Guardian Akali Interactions
Taliyah Sessions - A playlist of copyright-free music by a mix of artists with Taliyah as the face of them. This is something riot’s done with other champions, Vi and Diana, and it’s good music for studying and stuff like that! If you don’t listen to it I hope you at least watch the section with the song ‘SIDE 2 SIDE’ so you can see Taliyah’s cute little dance moves. She’s the best. I love her.
Skins released in Wild Rift:
Seraphine
Senna
Orianna
(Redeemed) Xayah
(Redeemed) Rakan
Wild Rift Visual Novel - In-game visual novel
This is the other main story, following Xayah’s newly-formed team and taking place at the same time as the other visual novel.
New Dreams - Vlogs by Xayah’s new team:
Seraphine
Orianna
Senna
Star Crossed - Comics adapted from the same story as the visual novel. It covers mostly the same events, plus Xayah recruiting the members of her team at the start which was not in the vn. In my opinion it’s the better version of the story!
Skins released in Legends of Runeterra:
(Gwen is the only Legends of Runeterra exclusive, the others all overlap with the other games so I won’t bother linking to the same profiles again!)
Gwen
Jinx
Lulu
Soraka
Kai’sa
Quinn
Taliyah
Senna
Legends of Runeterra has less content overall. Each character has 2 pieces of art with flavour text, as their art changes when they level up. A few of them have unique level up animations too. Here I’ll share my own screenshots from the game to make sure the flavour text is included!
Star Guardian Gwen Level-up Animation
Star Guardian Jinx Level-up Animation
Star Guardian Kai’sa Level-up Animation
Additionally, Star Guardian Kai’sa is the only lor skin so far to have unique voice lines, but they’re really not much. Here anyway:
Star Guardian Kai’sa Voice Lines (Starts at 14:21)
Thank you for reading this! I hope it helped, I just had fun talking about the characters I love!
I’ll finish off with other related info/trivia and thoughts that I want to share:
Star Guardian ages are confusing. Some of them are teenagers who have just become guardians, while others are hundreds of years old and just pretend to be a regular human age. It’s not always clear which is which to be honest! Lux’s team is mostly teenagers but Janna is implied to be much older. Ahri’s original team seem to be a lot older, but I’m not entirely clear on her new team. Syndra, Zoe and Gwen are from the original first Star Guardian team so they’re the oldest. What confused me was that Xayah’s new team is made up of old guardians according to the comics, yet they all pretend to be high schoolers and then complain about high school as if they didn’t choose to disguise themselves that way??
A lot of people were really getting their hopes up for the return of Star Guardians PVE because apparently it was really fun in 2017, but alas we just got some other regular game mode that no one cares about. Apparently PVE doesn’t drive engagement enough for riot to do that anymore even though everyone wants it. Video titles that aged like milk:
Similarly, from the teasers a lot of people thought Kai’sa and Akali were going to be a couple in this universe. With all the hand holding and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes, it was a little disappointing that they went with the ‘very close gal pals’ route. It would have been wild to make Akali canonically queer only to ship her with anyone but Evelynn, considering Akalynn was the biggest ship before Arcane came out.
Regular Taliyah was originally intended to be trans by the writers/artists that worked on her, but as is typically the case in this game, they weren’t allowed to do that. In more recent content there’s been a clear effort to code her that way. When Neeko was released she got a voice line towards Taliyah that says “Neeko not the only one who changes”. Neeko changes because she’s a shapeshifting chameleon, so in what way does Taliyah change? 🤔 I think Star Guardian Taliyah has the most clear trans coding so far with her whole thing about wanting to figure out who she is, and feeling more herself when she transforms, etc.
On the topic of Neeko voice lines, Neeko was the first out lesbian champion in the game, I love her very much, please listen to her! I wish she had more Star Guardian content.
If you know Akali, Kai’sa, Ahri and Seraphine from K/DA, you may notice Evelynn’s the only K/DA member who’s not also a star guardian. It doesn’t mean anything, but there’s been a lot of memes about her feeling left out and a good few Star Guardian Evelynn fan designs!
If you only know Jinx from arcane and wonder who that random blonde girl is that people keep shipping her with, that’s regular Lux. They’ve never met in Runeterra, but their dynamic in Star Guardians translates well to the base characters too. To sum it up, Lux thinking “I can fix her” and Jinx thinking “I can make her worse” is why they make a fun pairing in any universe!
Ezreal is boring and he's the worst Star Guardian. This is just opinion but I’m right. /j
Gwen was a doll who became human, but her joke animation in league lets her transform back into the cute little dolly version of her. In Legends of Runeterra, you can have this doll as a guardian (little buddy who sits next to your cards and does cute stuff if you click on them) and there’s a Star Guardian variation:
If you’re interested in learning more about League of Legends lore and it’s alternate universes, check out Necrit! He’s known as the lore guy at this point.
If you’re interested in the character designs and animation you’ve seen, check out TB Skyen! He’s done some animation breakdown videos of Star Guardian Stuff and recently done a stream ranking and talking about the skin designs.
#millie.txt#star guardians#lol#hey i did it! i did the thing i said i would for once!#magical girl mutuals enjoy#i'm not double-checking all those links so let me know if any don't work or take you to the wrong thing
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callout for @genderfluidlucifer
google docs
tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation
Transmisogyny
Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling)
here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us
1. link
[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."
The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]
link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)
2. link
[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.
Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.
Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.
Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."
The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]
here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)
3. link (1), link (2)
[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.
The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]
heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism
4. link
[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.
There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]
this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.
5.link
[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:
- Ace/aro exclusionism
- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”
- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people
- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed
- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”
- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil
- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]
another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.
Emotional manipulation
Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.
[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ]
(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)
as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.
this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post.
this post was only made because:
1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.
2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.
3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with.
(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)
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Alright. Here’s the essay you wanted. Post explains why I responded to an ask I received that said “I think some Traumagenics are confused Endogenics” with “Same here!”
Let’s start with Context.
That ask was received in a string of anon hate (I deleted the majority, but this one pissed me off more than the rest). It was received due to my stance that we should be acknowledging that some endogenic plurals are traumagenic systems who don’t recall their trauma or are confused. It was received during the time that QueerAutism decided to start spreading more lies about me based on a single screenshot of when I was anti-endo. It was received during the time I was trying to step further away from syscourse, for my health, and focus on being more positive.
It was also the time I was dealing with the hardest part of the year for teachers, running on 2-3 hours of sleep each night. It was the time I was dealing with a death in the family, and a 2 day long memorial for the woman who changed my partner’s life forever, and who gave me a place to stay in her death, which got me out of my parents abusive house. I was also dealing with said abusive parents, and currently trying to work out a week long vacation I’m going on with them, this summer, after I just opened up about being gay and having DID - which went poorly.
Needless to say, I was emotionally drained. I received what was clearly a bait ask. They WANTED me to become a wishy washy asshole, who denied that my stance could go both ways, just so they could hold that up as a shining banner of “proof” that I’m totally an anti-endo guys. I was so royally pissed off when I got that ask. Especially since (as I’ll explain next) I sort of agree with it.
So, rather than respond to a purposeful bait ask with a 20 paragraph response (which you all have now made me do anyways - thanks) I simply replied “same here!” Which, I’ll add, was immensely satisfying. Imagining their face when the “evil sysmed centrist” turned out to be not what they expected? It gave me at least a moment of relief during a remarkably shitty time.
So what did I actually mean?
First off: some Endogenics are Traumagenics. Full stop. There is evidence of people thinking they are endo and it turns out they’re traumagenic. There is precedence. Furthermore, there’s such origins as “dissociagenic” - as in, I formed from dissociation. Which is. A trauma response. Hence, traumagenic. I believe a lot of origin labels inherently are traumagenic, and while I will never call an endogenic plural a traumagenic system against their wishes, I cannot say that I believe you can have trauma responses without trauma.
Let’s read that again. “Endogenics are Traumagenic.” Hey, it’s almost like the labels are fucking stupid. THAT’S where my argument boils down to. I think that there HAVE to be Traumagenics who are actually Endogenic because I think, in some cases, the two are intrinsically tied. Some endogenic plurality is formed through trauma, or formed through trauma responses. If A = B, then logically, B = A.
I also have, and always will, argue for Traumagenic systems to actually look into Endogenic plurality in regards to their own. “But endos hurt me!!!” Bitch, me too, the fuck. But they also helped me, because sometimes, endos aren’t evil!!! Surprise surprise, it’s almost like people are people, and SOME people are assholes. I don’t subscribe to the belief that all endos are assholes. I think analyzing endogenic origins and trying to apply them to yourselves is actually a worthwhile experience. It doesn’t erase what you went through - it just means it’s beneficial to look at things through other perspectives.
Let’s also remark on the fact that endogenic origins account for “alters who formed not due to trauma, but something else.” While I disagree with this in DID/OSDD (alters ALL form from a base trauma, essentially, it’s more nuanced than that but come on, I’m hoping I don’t need to explain every single detail here) I do find it useful for MYSELF to label my alters who didn’t form from a “traumatic event.” I don’t personally call them endogenic, but by endo definitions, they are. By endo definition, some Traumagenics are actually endogenic. And I find looking at my alters who aren’t from a “traumatic event” in my life and delineating that experience has helped me overcome more situations in my life and inform me more about them. Looking at myself through endogenic lenses actually helped me work out a lot of my trauma.
Lastly, on this topic (and here’s the one you’ll actually disagree with): people DO invent trauma for themselves. Reminder: this blog believes in endogenic plurality. I BELIEVE you can have headmates without trauma. And I believe some traumagenic (people who say they have trauma) systems are actually endogenic. I believe some traumagenic systems are not traumagenic, and have instead read into a situation too deeply and it’s not actually trauma. Note: I’m not fakeclaiming anyone here. This is no different than me saying that some endogenic plurals are traumagenic (in denial of trauma), or faking, or experiencing something similar. I believe the same of BOTH sides. I am NEVER going to tell a traumagenic system that they’re faking, or “secretly endo” or that “their trauma wasn’t enough.” All I’m doing is acknowledging that sometimes people are mistaken.
Alright. Now, onto the reason I’m so pissed off.
@oops-all-syscourse. You apparently already had me blocked. But you still saw fit to reblog a bait ask from almost a week ago to let everyone know I was disgusting. Why? Is it because we inherently disagree? Or is it because you believed I was anti-endo when I have been VOCALLY syscourse unaligned? I am vocally a believer in endogenic plurality. I know you disagree. So why did you bother scrolling to find that post? What was the point? Debate??? Or just being a bitch to me?
@ the comments on said post: Based on the speed those came in, you didn’t look any further into the situation than that one post. Did you realize it was a bait ask sent during a string of other anon hate? Did you realize I was at my wits end with syscourse, and was publicly talking about how people need to step away? Did you see my OWN post, explaining that I needed to step back for my own health yesterday? Nope. You just barraged me with comments, DMs, aaand.
@ anon haters. I’m just straight up deleting all of your messages. Fuck you. Since apparently responding to a bait ask at all caused me to get harassed, I’m not responding to you all. Let’s hope NOT responding isn’t going to end up with more harassment, right? Cause that’s what I figured would happen if I didn’t respond to the original bait ask. I figured that anon would go to Rouke and bitch about how I was “clearly dodging the question cause I’m a filthy sysmed.”
I’m tired of people fucking lying about me. I’m tired of getting harassed. I’m tired of trying to go to bed early, only to have a panic attack from spam messages and alerts on my phone because a single person on the internet disagrees with a take that, to me, was VERY OBVIOUSLY not the full story. How about, rather than jump the gun and immediately harass me, you use some critical thinking skills? “Huh. MotCR almost always responds to everything with at least a three paragraph response, unless they’re too drained to respond. Maybe there’s another reason they didn’t respond with a 20 paragraph response to this ask, rather than just them agreeing flat out with it.”
To the long anon I got; I’m not gonna publish everything you said (mostly cause I’m tired and this essay already took a full half hour of my morning, which was NOT time I had available to spend, but was also the only thing that might calm down the anxiety attack that started last night and is still ongoing this morning). I just want to address one concern: I am not going to back down on a stance unless I am given proper evidence/argument for why I should. I haven’t received that in this case, so obviously, I’m not going to roll back my argument here. I used to do that in pro-endo spaces. Nowadays, I’m much more vocal about my beliefs, and I don’t intend to let some asshole anons make me back down.
Lastly: if you don’t agree with this? Then fucking block me, or engage in civil debate. I’m not going to reply to people who just insult me or are pissy about it. I’m not wasting my time anymore.
I’m trying to take care of myself and spend less time in pointless arguments. I suggest everyone else also step back and consider how much time they spend in syscourse. Are YOU taking care of yourselves?
#syscourse#endos#mod curtis#I’m tired and pissed#Had to switch last night just to sleep#woke up pulled back into front with an anxiety heartbeat#Just#I’m so tired of having to explain everything as clearly as possible in an effort to avoid harassment#tw sui bait
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Before the Dawn didn’t ‘retcon’ Sun- an explanation from an actual writing major
Since the release of Before the Dawn, the sequel to RWBY’s After the Fall, I’ve seen a lot of different takes on it, but there’s a consistent one that it completely and utterly absurd- the idea that Sun Wukong’s persnality was ‘retconned’ for the book. The idea is, quite frankly ridiculous.
Before I get into why this take is so stupid, let me first explain what a retcon actually is, seeing as this fandom has so little understanding of the word. Retroactive continuity, often shortened as ‘retcon’ is a literary device that ignores or outright contradicts something already established in a work’s canon. For example, one actual retcon in RWBY would be the DC comics, while being canon, showing Ruby talking in full scentences shortly after Summer’s death, when Yang previously stated in the show that Ruby could barely talk when it happened.
A retcon is not something being explained differently or adittional information being given towards soemthing, even if these other details hadn’t been come up with to begin with. Salem’s backstory, for example, is not a retcon of the show’s opening narration, because not only is the opening narration very simplied so that it’s easier for the auidence to understand, but it’s also done by Salem herself, who would natutally not be telling the full story.
Now, the case with Sun is not the first time I’ve heard the claim that a character was retconned in the novels. While I don’t know if it’s at all a popular idea, one Redditor ranted at me in fury about how bad After the Fall must have been if it characterized Velvet as at all sassy because we’d never seen her that way in the books, ignoring my attempts to explain that, realistically, shy people are not going to be as shy around people they know well.
The couple of times I’ve shared these screenshots on Twitter were met with the same scorn I felt upon recieveing such responses (espeiclaly since the last comment was posted around two weeks after the rest of the conversation). So, when people failed to see that the situation with Sun was the same, it surprised me.
People claim that BTD characterized Sun completely differently as he is in the show. This is...weird, but I can slightly understand why people would jump to the conclusion that the personality he has in the book is somehow different to his personality in the show.
The first thing of note is that Sun still very much exhibits the personality traits that he’s known for; the positive ones. The very prologue of the book shows that, even in a fight, he’s still cheerful, easygoing and goofy, and we see several moments of this throughout the entire book. The second thing is that 99% of his scenes in the show are with Blake, who he has (or had) a literal crush on. Of course he would act differently around her and her friends than he would around his team, or people he didn’t care as much about. Right away, this shows that his personality was not contradicted and was, thus not retconned. But, of course, I have more to say than that.
The first big complaint regarding something that was indeed added in the book- or, at least, that we didn’t see in the show (given how Sun is not at all a character of focus) is that he’s shown to be angry and on-edge at certain points. And yes, this is not soemthing we saw of him in the show, but it’s also not out-of-character, and very easily understandable. Sun returned to his team expecting everything to be fine and dandy after a quick apology for leaving them, so when they don’t instantly forgive him and are still angry with him, he doesn’t understand, and thus becomes angry with them in return. He had an idea in his mind of how things would go, and when this didn’t go to plan and he continued to be confronted on his flaws, he can’t help but be a little salty about being treated this way by the people he’s known the longest among the main cast. For him, it’s a personal issue. The only reason we never saw him this angry in the show is because nothing ever personally affected him. He had no reason to be truly angry at anything because they were Blake’s problems, not his, and while he would natually want to help her out, he didn’t have any personal feelings towards the matter. But his team are supposed to be his friends, and here they are, not forgiving him after he apologized and everything. In his mind, he was being critizied even though he thought he’d fixed the problem with a simple apology.
The second big complaints are those of how Sun’s not-great relationship with his team throughout most of the book are contradictory to the last time we saw him in the show. People thought that his acknlowedgement of his shortcomings as a leader meant that he was going to be an instantly better one after the fact. These people fail to realize two major problems with this- the first being that there’s no rushing personal improvment. It’s very weird to me that people thought that Sun could instantly become a better leader when he was such a bad one in the first place. The second problem is that Sun, despite his name, is not the brightest bulb, and I say this in the nicest way possible. It’s made clear by both the show and the book that, while he acknowledged that he shouldn’t have ditched his team for several months without explanation, he still failed to realize the seriousness of his actions, or how the team dynamic was affected when he came back and took over again from Scarlet’s temporary leadership. As mentioned in the above paragraph, Sun thought that he could fix everything with a simple apology, and that it would absolve him of all wrongdoing. But more importantly, but the end of the book, he has realzied the weight of his negligence and that he needs to work harder to gain back respect from his team. And yet, critics ignore this and seem to this he acts badly throughout the whole book with no change in behaviour, when this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The third complaint, and the most absurd to me, is that Sun’s dismissiveness of serious situations and regular insensitivity in the book are out of character. Excuse me, but...did we watch the same show??
Perhaps it’s easy to forget because we haven’t seen him in show for a while, but these are two of his core personality traits, especially earlier on in the show. It seems that the fanon depiction of Sun as a sweet and loveable himbo who can do no wrong has caused a lot of people to forget his very prominent flaws, but Sun has always been this way, from as early as Volume 1. He treats serious situations as a joke or bit of fun, and he is constantly making insensitive comments, even to Blake, who he likes. Just to show a few, with replies from Blake for context regarding the second two:
From Black and White:
From Of Runaways and Stowaways:
From Menagerie:
Even in situations where he isn’t outright insensitive, he still frequently exhibits a struggle to read the room. He fails to understand why Team RWBY don’t want him and Neptune coming with them, he fails to fully understand why so many faunus take issue with humans despite being a faunus himself, and he fails to understand why stalking Blake across a continent was a very, very bad and creepy thing to do, even if he had good intentions. In fact, he never even apologises for any of this, at least, not that we saw, so it’s enitely plausible that it’s not soemthing he’s learned from.
So the fact that he continued to demonstrate this insensivity in BTD is very much in-character. That has always been a part of his personality, even though it’s often played off as a joke.
With all that said, it really bothers me that people list what is, in objective truth, a deeper insight into Sun as a character, as a flaw of the book. This is not a flaw. I’ve been studying writing through university for over four years, and believe me, showing that people act different depending on the situation or people they are around, as well as expanding upon any flaws they might have, is good writing. Something is not a ‘retcon’ because it contradicts your headcanon, or what you wanted to happen. That would be like if Nora were (not that I think she ever would be) confirmed cis and I called it a retcon because I headcanon her as trans. That would be stupid.
After the Fall and Before the Dawn are honestly amazing books. They do have their issues, but character writing is far from one of them, and I would, in fact, consider it one of their biggest strengths. The way they flesh out both pre-existing and new characters, the way they can get us to love them within just 20-something chapters, is wonderful. They dive so deeply into even more minor characters, and make them all unique. So the idea that characters like Sun and Velvet were written badly because they were expanded upon and further characterized than they were in the show is an absolutely ridiculous concept, and one that I’ve hopefully changed people’s minds on with this.
Sun was not retconned. You guys just need to remember that the picture you paint of a character in your head is not always going to be the way a character is in canon. We’re not Adam defenders, people (at least, I hope not).
Anyway. Read the RWBY books. I don’t care if you have already. Do it again.
#rwby#blaire rambles#sun wukong#rwby after the fall#rwby before the dawn#essay?#rant?#honestly i don't know what this is#long post
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All right I need thoughts.
Last night I finished reading ACOMAF. I have been saving screenshots of certain quotes or sections that might come in handy for my larger analysis project. Most of these are about the Inner Circle dynamics, any scene with Nesta, and anything that mentions her.
Well, many things baffled me but I must share one, small, seemingly innocuous paragraph with you all:
ACOMAF, Ch-41
(I apologise for not being able to supply specific page numbers; I am reading EPUB versions of the books as I got rid of my personal copies two years ago in a fit of rage. That's a story for another day, however)
For context:
This is the chapter immediately preceding the trip to the Court of Nightmares. In this particular scene, Feyre learns the story of what Mor's family did to her after Eris said he no longer wanted her because she wasn't a virgin. As a reminder, her family nailed her to the ground at the border of the Autumn Court and left her there to die. Azriel found her and returned her to the Night Court. This scene has multiple purposes: insight into Mor's background and her dynamic with Azriel, insight into the culture of the Court of Nightmares meant to contrast it from the seemingly idyllic Inner Circle and Velaris and meant to make us understand why the aspect of Rhys that is cruel and unforgiving is necessary and justified. Additionally, it provides a comparison between the cruelty of Mor's biological family and Feyre's.
The last of these is of particular interest to me. It fits nicely into the book's theme of the found family as a structure of healing where attachment needs that were not met by a biological blood family are fulfilled (the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb). This is a wonderful theme because, for many, a found family is essential as it also allows for something that biological families tend to eclipse: the agency of each member. There is something moving and beautiful about a group of people coming together and freely making the choice of commiting to each other. This is a sharp contrast to the conventional understanding of a familial unit as one bound by blood and where each member, regardless of their wishes and circumstance, must be loyal and must serve the interests of the unit. What I can't understand is why Mor's family is even an equivalent comparison to Feyre's in Rhys's mind and that Feyre agrees with this equivalence. I guess it's the principle of it all? The assumption that I mentioned earlier about the implied duties of the biological family unit? I don't want to invalidate Feyre's trauma, because that home life was certainly dysfunctional, hostile, and led to severe self-esteem issues. But....mdfhhfjdkdkdd someone please explain.
Yes, I think we can all agree that the dynamic between the father, Nesta, Elain, and Feyre was and is a hot mess. It was a mess even when the mother was alive. Two neglectful, distant parents and post-wealth, a fractured and hostile sibling relationship. Yeah Nesta was a cruel mess, but how is Nesta's immature, unwarranted cruelty towards Feyre in any way equivalent to Mor's family assaulting her and attempting to murder her? I'm expected to empathise with Rhys in this moment through Feyre. I'm expected to understand his continuous anger and disgust towards Nesta via this realisation on Feyre's part. Instead, I am just utter confusion. Frankly, it makes Rhys look unreasonable because he yearns to be understood as a whole being, capable of great cruelty but also great love and sacrifice. The cruelty is just a necessary mask after all, right? No, the cruelty is a part of him that must be reconciled in the same way that Nesta's cruelty must be reconciled. Unfortunately, his rage makes it difficult for him to consider the possibility that Nesta might also hold this complexity. That she might also yearn to be considered as a multifaceted being and that she might also be full of self-loathing and pain. And this inability to entertain the complexity of these characters extends to readers as well.
There is a certain degree of irony in this set-up. We have a book where a central theme is basically "the masks we wear" and how no character can be taken at face value. And yet, the benefit of the doubt is applied unevenly both in the narrative and outside of it. This is really interesting to me. I'm not saying that you can't like some characters over others, or even that you can't absolutely despise certain characters, I certainly do. But I think it is a productive exercise to consider the complexities of characters and their dynamics, even those we do not like. A character need not be likable to be good or valuable. I think we often limit ourselves by conflating character likeability with character quality and significance.
I always jokingly say that SJM did not know what she was doing when she created Nesta. Maybe this is true, maybe it isn't. Regardless of SJM's intent, Nesta is a controversial character who deserves to exist. That characters in the narrative and that readers cannot give the same negative energy they give Nesta to Rhys or other messy male characters in particular, reveals something more profound that many before me have linked to sexism and misogyny. I think there is important truth in this argument and I will explore it with more detail at a later time, but I urge you to consider this as you read the books and even other books or movies that contain female characters like Nesta.
I would love to know other's thoughts about this small excerpt and anything else I mentioned in this post!
-G
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Hey, everyone.
I've tried to compose myself before making this post. This is a subject that I've touched on a little bit in posts, but I've never done a deep dive into JUST this topic. I was going to make a post solely about this subject sooner, but this one in particular is really hard for me to talk about without getting emotional...and yet Dhar Mann has talked about this on quite a few occasions in the most insincere, toxic ways. I'll do my best to discuss this topic without getting too emotional.
It's about a serious subject that people still are ignorant about and don't take seriously. Even to this day, with the body positivity and body neutrality movements. (I don't know of a better way to describe just being neutral about your body. Sorry if it sounds weird.)
For anyone who doesn't know what I'm referring to (honestly, I don't blame you, as this is a subject that's often seen as normal and is encouraged in society for the most part), I'm talking about fatphobia. Hating on people for being fat. Discriminating people because of their weight in the workplace, at the doctor's office, just in general. Not many stores having inclusive sizes. People being treated like they're subhuman because they're fat.
I want to say this first, before I bash on Dhar Mann again: I'm a plus-size young woman. This is something that I have personal experience with. Your weight has no significance to your worth as a person. If you do happen to be overweight, obese, whatever, you're not subhuman. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're worthy of being loved, listened to, treated with kindness, and respected, just like anyone else who isn't fat.
If you treat people like utter shit for their weight, get some help. Why do you care about somebody else's weight? Obviously there's an exception to this, like if they're so big they can't move or they're so skinny their organs are showing....because those are causes for concern, but other than that, mind your own business. Even if they are in those extremities, unless you're their doctor and/or their family, STILL mind your own business. How the fuck does a fat person simply breathing and existing affect you in any way? News flash: there will always be fat people.
Before I get to the weekly ritual of tearing TWO of Dhar Mann's videos apart (the next one will be in another post or I'll reblog this post and continue on there), here's an obligatory trigger warning for the video analysis itself and my response: The following post contains fatphobia, fat shaming, a man being super fucking misogynistic and treating women like they're objects, and there's even a touch of some racial aggression. How shocking. Because Dhar Mann really seems to get a kick out of writing about racism to make it all cute. Oh yeah, you're totally solving racism, Dhar Mann. /s
My response contains my experience with fatphobia, relationships with food, mentioned/implied thoughts of s3lf h@rm, feeling like I'm unworthy of being treated like an actual person because of my weight, and absolute rage. Like usual. My responses are very heated. This one especially. It's LONG. Buckle up.
With all this out of the way, let's get to the first video that I want to tear apart. This one is about the auditions for a record deal. I will get to the video about a kid wanting to be a host of a radio show later.
To sum up the first video, a plus-size white woman (Krissy Elliot) is singing for an agent (Isaac) and his assistant (Evette) so she can follow her dream to become a singer. Isaac cuts Krissy off to viciously bash her for being a plus-size woman. Evette stands up for this woman, and says she sounded fine and to let her finish. Isaac doesn't listen to Evette, let alone take what she said into consideration. He continues to ridicule Krissy for her appearance, that she'll "never make it in the music industry" (WRONG, do you know how many plus-size people are in the fucking music industry? There are A LOT more now than when I was growing up and it honestly makes me so happy. There were more plus-size people in the entertainment industry than in the music industry back then.), suggested that she "become a chef or a food critic" because she apparently loves being around food (being a chef or a food critic are noble professions, but NEVER fucking assume ANYONE'S relationships with food), to the point where Krissy left the room in tears.
Here are a few screenshots for context:
When this skinny, conventionally attractive woman (Jesse) comes in, Isaac's mood does a COMPLETE 180° and he's all sunshine and rainbows. Then right as soon as Jesse did her audition, Isaac is over the fucking moon, complimenting her physical appearance, treating her like an object, and signs her up for a record deal RIGHT AWAY. Pay attention to Isaac's facial expressions in one of these screenshots.
Evette suggests that they sign Krissy for a record deal instead. Because she was "the best singer they've had all day". Isaac, still all hot and bothered by a skinny, conventionally attractive woman that he's treating like an object, tells Evette that people like Krissy don't make it in the music industry because they're "overweight and unattractive", and is verbally aggressive towards her when she does nothing but explain her stance. Isaac sees this as Evette "talking back" (remember how I mentioned that there's racial aggression? He says that Evette is "talking back" because she happens to be a black woman) and fires her. He signs Jesse a record deal and has a blast with her.
The award ceremony comes around, and they're picking a winner for Best New Artist. They pick the winner, and it's....guess what? You'll never get it! It's Krissy Elliot! Why? Because Evette became her agent after Isaac fired her. Krissy goes into her whole story about how she was laughed out of every single agency and that she worked hard. Good for her. Jesse is obviously very happy for Krissy. We gotta love women supporting women.
This video was again another dumpster fire. As usual. Like I said, with this video in particular, I couldn't get through the first thirty seconds the first time around. Because I've dealt with shit like this. Obviously not with the music industry because I don't even think I'd be good enough to step into an agency...but I mean in my personal life.
Being told by my own dad that he was "tired of buying bigger clothes for me" when I was a young teenager, despite him buying almost nothing but "junk food".
Having my abuser make comments about my weight and talking about diets while I'm trying to eat my food, despite her being overweight.
Having someone I know (not anyone I'm friends with) make a comment about me eating a few things (ONE small piece of broccoli, two baby carrots, a small handful of chips, and ONE small piece of pineapple) and said to "save some for everyone else", even though I was saving food for everyone else, which is why I took so little. She tried to justify it with the fact nobody was there yet (why do you think I took very little food?), and she "was saying that to everyone" (why did she look at ME when she said that instead of making it clear that she was talking to everyone [saying "Hey, everyone" before the comment about saving some for everyone else IS NOT HARD]?), even though I know it was just to save her own ass. I knew she said that to me because I'm plus-size. She didn't say anything to anyone else, nor did she make it clear that she was talking to everyone.
Another person I know (not a person I'm friends with) saying that I overreacted (I did not overreact; SOMEONE TRIGGERED ME and you did NOTHING about it) even though they all KNEW my relationship with food is complicated. They KNEW that I don't really like eating in front of other people. I was upset that someone MADE A FUCKING DISGUSTING, TRIGGERING COMMENT ABOUT ME EATING VERY FEW FOOD ITEMS, ALMOST ALL WERE HEALTHY, DESPITE OTHER PEOPLE EATING A LOT MORE THAN I DID AND PICKING AT EVERYTHING. That day, I was begging one of my friends (one of the people I trust to eat around) to PLEASE take me home because I didn't want to be there (never wanted to be there in the first place), I was tired (I worked all night the night before and was forced to go to a meeting before all this happened), I didn't feel comfortable there anymore, there were way too many people (four individuals plus all their staff from another house were in the house I work in), I couldn't breathe (I was either about to pass out, have a panic attack, or just start crying), but nobody listened to me. I ended up getting a bus to go home.
(Sorry about all that. I was trying not to get emotional in this post. I just needed to share how this can affect people.)
Onto my response, which is all in the screenshots below.
ETA: I know the screenshots for my response are very jumbled right now and it’s difficult to read. I apologize to anyone who’s unable to fully read it! Because this is part one of this whole subject of fatphobia (I’m making a post about the boy wanting to become a radio host very soon), my response here will tie into that post. My response to that video is vastly the same, despite not making a comment on that video as of right now (the radio host one).
I’ll be typing out my full response here. I apologize for weird formatting. Instagram wouldn’t let me break up my response into paragraphs. I’ll break them up into paragraphs here instead.
CC (Combination of the first, second, and third screenshots, aka, the first part of my response):
I have a few questions before I get into my thoughts on this video. One, how the hell does your weight have any significance on your worth as a person, and if you do think this way, why would you think that? Two, do you know that fatphobia is a lot more than just judging a person for being fat? Three, why do you feel like you can speak for fat people like myself with this piss poor excuse for a video that I could barely get through the first thirty seconds of the first time?
You can’t speak for any of us. I can’t speak for every fat person because not everyone has the same experiences as me.
I’ve been bullied for my weight in real life as well as online. People have called me ugly just because of my weight. By the way, your weight doesn’t equal beauty, and that’s what I’m still learning. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
On quite a few occasions, I have actually thought about doing dangerous things to my body that I don’t feel comfortable going into here. All because I had people try to boil me down to my weight, call me ugly, and destroy whatever self-esteem I had left. You don’t know what fat people go through, so don’t act like you do.
There are many factors that go into why a person may be fat, including medical conditions, mental illness, trauma, genetics, etc. All of those things are none of your business unless those people decide to be open about it.
No, it’s not always healthy to be fat (obviously there are extremities on both sides of the spectrum of weight that are extremely unhealthy), but it doesn’t make a person any less of a human being. Fat people are human too. Quit treating us like we’re not. We deserve to be treated like everyone else who isn’t fat. I’m not saying put all fat people on a pedestal. I’m saying treat us like human beings.
CC (Combination of the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh screenshots, aka, the second part of my response):
Remember how I said that fatphobia isn’t just about judging people for being fat? Well, there’s the “fat tax” on plus-size clothing (even though it maybe only costs a little bit more in fabric, if there’s any difference in making clothes for people who aren’t fat), limited styles for fat people in stores (making a lot of us have to buy fast fashion or have to spend a fortune on clothes that actually flatter us), not very many stores have inclusive sizes still (if you don’t at least carry max 5XL or a size 38/40 in pants size, you cannot call yourself inclusive), and a lot of other things.
Many fat people, myself included, are afraid to seek medical attention for anything (even checkups) because of doctors who only focus on our weight and not on what we came in to see them for. They write it off as if our weight is the sole cause of our problems, which isn’t always the case.
How about we talk about how expensive it is to eat healthy in a lot of places? Not everyone can afford to make fresh meals every day, let alone once a week. Maybe they were never taught how to due to their upbringing. You don’t know.
I’ve had people comment on my weight, what I’m eating (even if I’m eating something healthy like fruits and veggies), talk about my weight or diets EVEN WHILE I’M TRYING TO EAT, and it’s caused me to wait until I’m alone or around someone I trust to eat anything. As a result, I have a complicated relationship with food now.
Telling someone they’re fat doesn’t help them. They know that. They see themselves every day. People may want to change, but they either are afraid to ask for help, or they don’t know where to start. Some may not want to change. It’s up to them, honestly. If you want to help them lose weight, maybe suggest any physical activity they’d have fun doing and do them with them? I dance for fun. Also, you could help set up meal plans with them.
If you’re not going to at least try to help them lose weight if you’re so concerned about them (this is all if they actually want to change things and don’t know where to start), I cannot say this in a sweeter way: shut your mouth and mind your own business. Because you’re just being a cunt at that point.
CC (eighth screenshot, aka, the third and final part to my response):
There are quite a few plus-size people in the entertainment industry as a whole who are/were very successful. Remember the late Chris Farley and Aretha Franklin? Chris Farley was big, but that didn’t change how great of an actor he was, how funny he was, or how much of an impact he made in the entertainment industry. Aretha Franklin was a plus-size black woman in the music industry, but she’s inspired SO MANY artists we have today! There are many plus-size men, women, and I believe even nonbinary people in the public eye in general. Like I’ve said, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. That’s why the body positivity and body neutrality movements are a thing.
(I know I implied that I thought about sh here in my response, but please don't worry about me as far as that goes. I'm fine now. I would never go through with anything like that.)
In the last part of my response where I mentioned some plus-size people in the entertainment industry as well as the music industry (the late Chris Farley and the late Aretha Franklin), I was going to name more people, but my comments were getting too long. I'll name some more here off the top of my head:
Lizzo (rapper), the Piggy Dolls (the first K-Pop girl group made up of actual plus-size women), K*v*n Sp*c*y (I don't feel comfortable saying his name because he's a disgusting person, but he's another plus-size man...he was in King of Queens and in A LOT of movies), PSY, Greyson Gritt (a genderqueer person in the music industry), Elle King, Produce Pandas (the first music group in China full of plus-size men), Martha Wash, Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, Big Angel (a J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Chubbiness (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Pottya (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women)...there are so many that I found, but if you want to add more plus-size artists, plus-size actors, plus-size comedians/comediennes, feel free to add them in the comments!
Dhar Mann, you'll never know what plus-size people go through. You don't know what we go through. You have NO IDEA what we go through on a daily basis. Stop acting like you do. Because you don't, and you never will.
By the way, Dhar Mann, this will NOT be the last post I'll make about you or your videos. The more you make fucking deplorable, poorly written bullshit, the more posts I'll make! Teehee!
If you got this far, thank you so much. The next part of this is coming very soon. I'm sorry for not posting too many screenshots from the video. I wanted to fit in my response because it's important for people to see.
Have a good day/afternoon/night, y'all. Love you!
#mello speaks#dhar mann talk#dhar mann#dhar mann will live to regret his decision to make these fucked up cringe videos#dhar mann is a piece of human garbage#dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu#dhar mann is a cringe ass nae nae baby#please stop supporting dhar mann#tw fatphobia#tw body shaming#tw racial aggression mention#tw implied sh mention#body postivity#plus size people in the entertainment and music industries#fatphobes dni#cw weight mention#cw diet mention#cw complicated relationships with food mention#warning you right now that I'm VERY mad#cw doctor mention#tw dhar mann
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'Till Death Do Us Part
Part 6 out of 13
When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.
A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.
On AO3.
Ships: Jamilton
Warnings: brief mention of trauma in regards to water.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 6: Garden Daisy Means ‘I Share Your Sentiments’
Alex and Philip played in the park the next day. He pushed Philip on the swings, they tossed a ball back and forth, making Alex feel very stereotypical, so he taught Philip how to make flower crowns from the little daisies in the grass.
Philip was especially excited about making the daisy chains, telling Alex animatedly about making one at school tomorrow: “Yeah, Theo loves flowers, so I’ll make her one, because she is my bestest friend.”
“I’m sure, she’ll appreciate that,” Alex smiled.
“Are you going to make one for Mr. Thomas?” Philip asked.
Alex shook his head: “Probably not, buddy. I don’t think Thomas is much of a flower crown person, but it’s a sweet thought of you.”
“Why?”
“What? I’m going to need more context than that, Pip.”
“Why doesn’t Mr. Thomas want a flower crown?” Philip asked, looking heartbroken about it as he then also asked, “Is a flower crown not a fun gift for your bestest friends?”
“No, no, Pip, it’s a wonderful gift for Theo tomorrow, but are Theo and Thomas really the same?” he tried to do damage control.
Philip thought about it, then said: “No, but they both think my art is the coolest and they like hearing about dinos and Uncle Laf said Mr. Thomas really liked the flowers you gave him and that he was adorable over them, so he must like the flowers. Don’t you think, so Papa?”
“Uncle Laf said what?” Alex was unable to help himself, immediately backtracking, not wanting to involve his kid in that, “Never mind, not important. You make some really good points, Pip,” he had to acknowledge that, but he wasn’t giving Thomas a flower crown.
“I do?” Pip sounded excited about it.
“Yes, you do,” building up self esteem was good, “But Papa is probably not going to do that, because there are no flowers around the office and they will wilt if I make it now,” he wasn’t going to make Philip sad, so hopefully that would be enough.
Philip hummed thoughtfully, then shook off the entire thing: “I suppose you’re right.”
They went home soon after, eating dinner, before Alex read Philip a bedtime story. When Philip had drifted off, he gave him a kiss on the forehead: “Sleep tight, Pip. You’re going places.”
In return Philip snuggled closer into his pillow with a soft sigh. Alex smiled at the sleeping kid, before retreating downstairs, planning to work a bit on his essay about biphobia within the queer community.
He had written a few good paragraphs when his phone buzzed. He picked it up and smiled when he saw it was a message from Thomas: ‘Since you told me that if I wanted to pay so bad, I would have to ask you out and because I said I would, here is me formally asking if you have time next Saturday?
Alex giggled at the wording, before shooting back: ‘dork’
‘me and pip usually hang out on saturdays, but i think hercs free to babysit’
Thomas replied: ‘I was hoping to take you on a picnic, if Philip wants to come and you don’t mind, he’s more than welcome’
That was something Alex hadn’t seen coming. He would love if Thomas and Pip got along and it seemed Thomas was willing to spend time with his son, but he worried that the man had only offered out of guilt.
He took a quick screenshot and send it to Angelic, asking: ‘is this thomas being nice and awkward abt it even though he doesnt mean it?’
After a few seconds, she replied: ‘He wouldn’t lie about shit like that, now reply before he gets anxious about your silence’
‘yes, ma’am’
Alex quickly went back to the chat with Thomas and send: ‘ill ask if he wants to come, but iwould love to take you up on the invitation :D’
‘Good’
‘Talk to you tomorrow?’
‘yeah, see you then’
‘goodnight’
‘Sleep tight, Alex’
Alex sat for a moment smiling dumbly at his phone, looking forwards to tomorrow to see Thomas again as he got up to get ready for bed.
The next day, he quickly put his stuff in his office, before going to the break room, knowing that Thomas would be in soon and meet him there. It always took a few minutes, so Alex busied himself with making coffee, trying not to look at the door.
He was just taking his first sip when Thomas came in. Almost choking he managed to wave as he greeted: “Hi.”
“Hello, be careful there,” Thomas smirked, noticing Alex struggle with the coffee.
“Shove off,” Alex told him, finally swallowing the sip that had betrayed him.
“Nah, don’t wanna,” Thomas shrugged, making himself coffee, “How was your weekend? Did you get terrorized by Lafayette as well?”
“God, he got you too?” Alex asked.
“Naturally,” Thomas replied, “He was at my house first thing in the morning on Saturday, I think he had a notepad.”
“He is such an idiot,” Alex facepalmed.
“You’re telling me,” Thomas laughed.
“But no, my weekend was good,” Alex said after a pause, “I was over at Eliza’s on Saturday, she and Maria were watching Pip and on Sunday me and Pip went to the park. You?”
“Well, on Saturday I hosted Laf, unprepared, but it was alright,” he was not telling Alex he had been draped over the couch, dramatically recounting the entire night like a teenager, “Then on Sunday I read a bit,” and botheredJames about date ideas, which he did not appreciate, before bothering him about what would bea good message to send, which he also didn’t appreciate; he added mentally.
“Are you reading anything interesting?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, I’m reading Frankenstein, just a classic I never got around to,” Thomas answered.
Alex lit up and their conversation went on, discussing the want for bodily autonomy that Mary Shelley as a woman in that era must have had and how that was integrated into the book and how the story of being otheredcould be applied to other minorities today.
The rest of the week sped by like usual. Their lunches together had felt a bit odd at first like it had gained a deeper meaning after the date, but then Thomas had spilled his coffee and Alex had snorted and inhaled a few crumbs, so that had worn off quite quickly.
When Alex had asked Philip if he wanted to come with him and Thomas on a picnic the boy had been beyond excited, which made that easy for Alex.
Now was just the issue of making sure that they had a kite for Pip, the drawing of Mr. Thomas he had made and wanted to give to the man, and sunscreen on as well as a jacket with them, because the weather was mostly good, but there might be winds later on.
Thomas came to pick them up in his car, it was a bit flashy, but the normal amount of flashy for Thomas. Still Alex said: “Hi there, show off.”
“And proud of it,” Thomas just grinned back, before he could say anything more though, Philip came running out of the house, yelling: “Mr. Thomas, Mr. Thomas, do you know how to fly a kite? Will you fly it with me?”
“Wow, calm down, kiddo,” Thomas said to the kid clinging to his waist.
“Sorry, Mr. Thomas.”
“It’s okay, and you can call me Thomas if you want to, you know that, right?”
“But it’s rude to not call people Mister,” Philip frowned.
“Well, it’s okay with me, I am hereby giving you permission to call me Thomas,” Thomas told the kid gently, the whole Mr. Thomas made him feel old.
Philip nodded, then said: “Okay, Uncle Thomas. Do you know how to fly a kite?”
Okay, that was- that was an upgrade that Thomas was unsure of how to deal with, so he just ignored it: “Yeah, I know how to fly a kite. Do you have one?”
“Yes, it’s the bestest one, it gots all the colors of the rainbow on it!” the kid was clearly beyond excited about it.
“Wow, that sounds super awesome, kiddo.”
“What is also super awesome, is car safety,” Alex interrupted them, “I got Pip’s booster seat, do you mind if I put that on the backseat?”
“Of course not, need help?” Thomas answered.
“Nah, I’ve done this before,” Alex grinned.
With Philip’s booster seat firmly in place and the kid buckled in, they got into the car. Thomas holding Alex’s door open with a flourish, making Alex blush as he called him a dork.
“Not a dork, darlin’, just Southern hospitality,” Thomas winked at him, letting his accent coat his words heavily.
And with that he closed Alex’s door and got into the car, driving off in the direction of the nearby park Alex often visited with Pip.
After they arrived Alex got Philip out of the car, while Thomas grabbed Alex’s bag andan actual basket out of the back. When he noticed Alex staring with a raised brow, he shrugged: “You were cliché, so I thought why not.”
“It’s very picturesque.”
“Papa, what is pictuu- pictuu- that word?” Philip asked.
Breaking the eyecontact with Thomas, Alex explained: “Well, sometimes things look just like a picture, they’re put in on purpose to be pretty, like with a drawing. So, we call it picturesque.”
Philip hummed thoughtfully, before he said: “Okay, can I go on the swings?”
“Sure, buddy, but first we go find a spot to sit and maybe eat something, okay?” Alex said, taking Pip’s hand, holding his other out to Thomas with a raised eyebrow.
Thomas took it with a smile, leading them to a spot near the little pond in the park, where a tree provided both shade and an easy marker to find it again if Philip wandered off on his own, which Alex was grateful for.
Out of the basket came a checkered blanket, which made Alex laugh as he and Thomas struggled to lay in down in the wind. But there were also sandwiches, orange juice, brownies, fruit salad and a thermos with coffee.
“Wow, you thought of everything, didn’t you,” Alex whistled.
He got an eye crinkle smile in return as Thomas said: “I try,” before turning to Philip and asking, “What sort of sandwich do you want, kiddo? I got PB and J, ham and cheese and one with chicken and eggplant.”
“May I please have a PB and J sandwich?”
“So, polite,” Thomas commented, handing him the sandwich, “Here you go. Alex?”
“Uhm, can I have one with chicken?”
“Of course, there you are,” Thomas handed him a sandwich, before taking a chicken one as well, nodding a cheers to the others before eating it.
It wasn’t really quiet while they ate, neither Alex nor Philip had a talent for keeping their mouths shut while Thomas was comfortable enough to mix himself into the conversation, either to argue fondly with Alex or to encourage Philip to keep going.
When most of the food was gone, Philip asked: “Can I go on the swings now, Papa?”
Alex checked if the swings were in sight, they were actually quite close and since he was trying to let Pip be more independent, he nodded: “Yeah, just be sure to stay in sight and to come tell me if you’re going somewhere else, okay?”
“Okay, Papa.”
“Can you pinky promise me?” he might be trying to let Pip be more independent, but he still worried about his son.
“Pinky promise,” it was adorable how serious Philip looked while making the pinky promise.
Then Philip skipped off to the swings to play. Alex watched him closely until he got there, then a few moments more just to be sure.
“It’s incredible to see how much you love him,” the comment startled Alex for a moment and he asked: “Wha?”
“Just- you love Philip so much and you can see it every time you two interact,” Thomas explained, “It’s kinda amazing to see. You know, with a big family it wasn’t all that one on one, so seeing how much attention you give him is weird – in the best way of course.”
Alex blushed, no one really every complimented his parenting much, with the trans thing and the single parent and the busy job, most of the PTA moms looked down on him, so it was refreshing to hear: “Oh, uhm, thanks, really means a lot.”
“No problem,” Thomas smiled, “Coffee?”
“Yeah, thanks,” Alex held out his cup and watched it get filled, nodding to Thomas gratefully as he took a sip.
It was quiet for a moment, then a thought popped into Thomas’s head, making him a bit unsure and he asked: “Philip is calling me Uncle Thomas, you okay with that?”
“As long as you are. Pip’s never had a conventional family, I’m not sure he knows exactly what the word is supposed to mean, so he just calls adults he knows well that,” Alex explained, before quickly adding, “If you want him to stop, I can talk to him.”
“Oh, no, I don’t mind – honored, actually – just, you know,checking in.”
“Okay.”
Then it was quiet again. They both stared at the little playground where Philip was now playing tag with a few other kids, obviously done with swinging on the swings.
The sun was out and there were birds in the trees that were chirping, they were sitting on a checkered blanket, nearly completely leaning on one another and Alex was enamored by how picturesque this actually was, even if it had been teasing before.
He remembered Thomas complimenting his date and how relieved and excited that had made him, so he leaned more into Thomas’s side and softly said: “This is pretty amazing, thanks for asking me out again.”
Alex couldn't see it, but Thomas grinned as he replied: “Well, I am glad for inviting you, the company makes it much better.”
“How romantic,” Alex told him, trying, and failing, not to be touched by the comment.
“I try,” Thomas merely replied.
“So,” Alex looked around for something to talk about when he spotted the daisies in the grass and was reminded of his trip to the park with Pip last week, “opinions on flower crowns?”
“What?” Thomas sounded very confused.
He sat up straighter and plucked a few flowers, making a chain and holding it up: “Opinions on flower crowns?”
Thomas laughed for a second, then saw Alex’s face andexclaimed: “Oh my God, you’re being serious.”
Alex laughed too, before schooling his face into a more serious expression: “A trustworthy source told me these are very great gifts.”
“Oh, and who might that source be?” Thomas challenge.
“Well that would be my very own flesh and blood, Philip Hamilton, UncleThomas,” Alex emphasized the title teasingly.
Thomas grinned: “Oh, you should have said so, can’t argue with such an esteemed member of society.”
They both laughed again as Alex plucked more daisies and made a flower crown. It might have been a bit of a joke, but he had never known when to stop and he wasn’t going to start now, so he concentrated on braiding the flowers together while Thomas watched with an amused smile.
“Here, a pretty flower crown, for a pretty boy,” Alex said, handing Thomas the flower crown, taking much delight in how he had a front row seat to a blush blooming over Thomas’s entire face.
Mutely Thomas took the flower crown, mentally trying not to die at Alex’s face and words, which was really hard.
“Well, aren’t you going to put it on?” Alex asked, it was kinda mean to tease at this point, but he couldn't help it when Thomas looked like that.
“Ye- yeah, naturally,” Thomas managed, putting the flower crown on as he regained his bearings, “So, how do I look?” his voice was still a bit squeaky.
“Ah, just like I thought,” Alex smiled, “beautiful.”
“You can’t just say things like that, Alex,” Thomas tried to hide his face.
“Yes, yes, I can. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m kind of known for always speaking my mind and being honest. Can’t help it if it’s true.”
“I hate you.”
“I sure hope that’s not true or this is going to be awkward.”
It was a teasing reply, but both stilled for a moment, before Thomas slowly and softly said: “No, I- I didn’t mean that, you’re- you’re pretty alright.”
“Pretty alright… Hm, I’ll take it,” Alex was smirking, trying to play off the fact that his heart was beating like a marathon runner’s as relief flooded through his veins.
Thomas shoved him over and said: “You’re an idiot.”
“Now that- that I already knew,” Alex grinned, before getting up and looking back to the playground to check in on Philip.
He didn’t have to search much, because the boy was just running their way, yelling: “Papa, Papa, I slayed the dragon.”
“Wow, really buddy? That’s so cool,” Alex caught him as the kid practically tripped into his arms as he gestured wildly while recounting his epic encounter with a dragon and a witch and some fairies who were ‘the coolest, Papa, you should have seen then, they went pow pow and it was so cool.’
Then he spotted Thomas with the flower crown perched on his head and he smiled widely: “Did you give Uncle Thomas a flower crown like I said, Papa?”
“Yeah, I did, Pip. You were right, it was a great gift.”
“I have to agree, you have way better ideas than your Papa,” Thomas budded in.
Philip’s smile widened: “Really? I think so, but Papa is an adult and people always say adults know better.”
“Well, in some instances, adults have more experiences so they can make better decisions, but that doesn’t mean they’re always right,” Thomas said, “Kids can have interesting ideas too. Think of it like painting, experiences are different colors, but you don’t need every color, you can just make a more elaborate picture with more.”
Alex watched as Philip took a moment to think about it, before he nodded in understanding and saying: “So, I may not have all the colors yet, but I can make a good picture?”
“Yeah, exactly,” Thomas was grinning so broadly that Alex was going to loose his mind with how much he adored Thomas and Philip interacting and how fucking cute it was.
Suddenly Philip’s eyes lit up and he said: “Papa, I forgot to give Uncle Thomas his picture.”
“You can give it now, buddy,” Alex told him, reaching over to the bag he brought himself and digging through it.
“My what?” Thomas asked in the background.
“I made you a picture,” Philip was bouncing in place waiting for Alex to find it. When he did, he handed it to Pip, who in turn handed it to Thomas.
“It’s you,” he said, “You’re all purple, because you like purple like me and you have big hair like Uncle Laf and Uncle Herc do, though Uncle Herc’s is smaller and I gave you a book and a laptop ad then I thought planes would be cool, so I added those.”
“Wow, Philip, this is amazing,” Thomas said, “I feel like I should donate it to a museum, but something is missing for that.”
“What?” Philip’s face fell slightly.
“I need it signed, can’t have a masterpiece and forget who made it. What if you get famous? I want to be able to brag that I got an original Philip Hamilton drawing,” he dug around in his pocket and got out the purple pen he used to sign things when he was annoyed at Washington.
Philip took it excitedly, messily scrawling his name at the bottom, before handing it back: “Here, for you.”
“Truly, I’m speechless,” Thomas said, “I’m going to have to frame this.”
“You will?” Philip’s eyes were as big as plates.
“I am a man of my word and I promise,” Thomas told him, holding up a pinky. He had alreadyfigured out that promise meant the most to Philip at this age.
Philip happily interlocked their fingers, before Thomas carefully put the drawing away. Once it was gone, Philip asked: “Can we go kiting now?”
“We first have to put it together if you want to do that, so while I do that why don’t you drink some more juice,” Alex said, already pouring juice in a cup for Pip.
“Thank you, Papa,” Philip started drinking happily.
He struggled with putting the kite together, but luckily Thomas had more experience in putting together kites, citing his big family. So, they had it assembled by the time Philip had finished his juice.
Alex forced Philip to eat a brownie too. It might not be the healthiest, but he wouldn’t let Philip run around on an empty stomach if he could help it.
“I have no clue how to do this,” Alex confessed holding the kite. He had bought it on a whim in the supermarket about twoweeksago. However, he had no childhood memories to draw from on how to do this.
“Fortunately for you, I do,” Thomas said, taking the kite from him, “Here, let me take this.”
Alex gladly gave the task away and watched as Thomas gave Philip the handle of the kite and instructed him on what to do as he threw the kite into the air.
Philip whooped when it stayed up and Thomas cheered as well. Alex took out his phone and sneakily took a picture of the two, before cheering as well.
He flew the kite for half an hour before it went wrong. It was nothing big, just a sudden gust of wind that ripped the kite from Philip’s small hands and carried the kite away from them until it dropped into the water.
They looked at the kite for a second, before Philip turned to Alex with big eyes: “Papa, we have to save the kite.”
Looking at the water, Alex shuddered before he replied: “I’m sorry, Pip, but I can’t retrieve it for you. I think you’re going to have to say goodbye to the kite.”
“I can go get it, please, Papa,” there were tears gathering in Philip’s eyes.
In his mind images of Philip drowning flashed and quite harshly he said: “No!” cringing as Philip startled slightly. In a softer tone, he repeated: “No, Pip. You can’t swim, I’m not letting you in the water, because it’s dangerous and your clothes will get wet.”
“But- but the kite,” Philip argued.
“It was an accident, but we lost the kite,” Alex tried to break the news gently.
They were distracted by Thomas, who said: “I can go get the kite.”
“What?” “Will you do that, Uncle Thomas!”
“No, I can’t ask that of you,” Alex said, “You’ll ruin your clothes and it’s in the water and it might get cold later, it’s too much to ask.”
“I’ll be fine, Alex. Unlike Philip here, I can swim, so it’s fine if I fall. And this isn’t a natural pond anyway,” Thomas explained, “It’s made to trap rainwater so the neighborhood doesn’t get flooded, but because it’s in a kids park, it’s shallower. I don’t think my shorts will get wet.”
“You really don’t have to do this,” Alex pressed again, making sure that Thomas didn’t feel obligated just because Philip would be mildly upset about it.
“I know,” Thomas smiled as he sat down to toe off his shoes and socks.
Before he stepped into the water, he looked at Pip and seriously said: “Can you watch over our spot and your Papa for me while I go rescue the kite?”
Philip nodded, equally serious: “With my life.”
“Good,” Thomas chuckled, then set his first step.
He had been right about the depth of the pond and got to the kite without any difficulties. More onlookers had turned their attention to the water, but Thomas tried to ignore them as he saved the kite.
Returning to the shore he handed it to Philip, who beamed: “Thank you so somuch, Uncle Thomas.”
“No problem, kiddo, though I don’t think we can kite any more with the kite all wet,” he replied.
“That’s okay, I can still swing,” Philip said.
As the kid ran off again to play, Alex turned to Thomas: “Really, thank you, you didn’t have to do it, but thanks.”
“Did you see Philip’s smile? Worth it, really,” Thomas assured him.
Alex smiled, he didn’t think his heart could contain all the affection he had for Thomas in that moment, so he just hugged the man and gave him a peck on the cheek.
Thomas gently touched the spot Alex had kissed before smiling like he was the happiest man on earth, which only made Alex scream more internally.
They returned to their blanket and watched Philip play. After a few minutes of silence, Thomas lightly said: “So, water. Not a fan?”
“Ah, no, not really,” Alex replied, not sure on what to say.
“You don’t have to tell me, just good to keep in mind,” Thomas told him gently.
“Oh, no, it’s okay, just not something I talk about much,” Alex shrugged.
Thomas repeated: “You don’t have to tell me, really.”
“I know,” Alex assured him, “You know how I’m an immigrant, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I come from the Caribbean and uhm- You see, there was this hurricane that hit my island when I was seventeen. It’s- uh, it’s not something I’d recommend living through,” he told Thomas.
“Oh wow, I remember that being on the news,” Thomas felt like he had maneuvered himself into an awkward position. He was bad at comfort, with John he could relate, but here he was way out of his depths.
“It’s okay now, I got over it- mostly,” Alex shrugged, trying to move on, “Just don’t like water or storms that much.”
Thomas nodded, staying quiet. Instead he slung an arm over Alex’s shoulders and let the man snuggle close as he stared off in the direction Philip was in, though Thomas wasn’t sure if he was seeing much, so he kept an eye on the kid just in case.
After a moment, Alex asked: “Do you have one of those brownies left?”
“What? Huh, oh yeah. Here.”
“Thank you, these are amazing.”
“Why thank you, I made them.”
“You did?”
“You don’t have to sound so surprised.”
“I’m not,” a beat, then Alex said, “Well, I am, but it’s more pleasantly surprised than anything else. I didn’t know you baked.”
Thomas was glad for the change in topic and that the atmosphere hadn’t been ruined by his comment. So he replied: “It’s calming, repetitive and you have something nice at the end.”
“Never pegged you to be a stress baker,” Alex commented.
“According to Jemmy it’s one of my more redeeming qualities,” Thomas joked.
Alex laughed: “James is good in pinning people, I’ll take his word.”
“He thought you to be annoying and a dick, so I don’t think you wanna do that,” Thomas raised a brow at him.
“Schematics,” Alex waved his hand, “And in my defense, I was annoying back then, maybe even a bit of a dick, butI just aged like fine wine.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“I thought you were supposed to be on my side.”
“What can I say, I’m a man of many faces.”
“You’re a dork, that’s what you are.”
“Maybe so,” Thomas smirked, before looking over to the playground again. Philip was going down the slide, before running around with another kid. Thomas said: “He looks like he’s having fun.”
“Yeah, yeah, he does,” Alex agreed, snuggling closer into Thomas’s side.
Thomas planted a kiss on the top of his head and Alex was pretty sure he was one day going to melt out of affection.
Philip stopped running for a moment, to turn to them and wave excitedly. Alex waved back and so did Thomas. Alex couldn't stop the smile on his face, this was nice, so much nicer than he ever thought he was going to get after John’s death.
He send a quick look to the sky, slightly wistful, before fully draping himself over Thomas, earning a not-that-offended offended squawk that he ignored in favor of draping even more until Thomas gave in and let them both topple over.
Alex vowed that he was going to try to hold on to this for as long as possible.
I am not a parent btw, I feel like I should have stated that early, also don’t take this fic as parenting advise. I try to write Good Parent!Alex, but that doesn’t mean it will be entirely, bc, again, no experience in this field.
Btw, Philip not understanding Uncle and Auntie and being over at the other’s houses so much is a concept I love, bc it’s a very queer way to raise a kid. Sure, Alex is his primary care giver and dad and stuff, but a village raises a kid and- ugh, I love found family dynamics.
Also this is getting incredibly fluffy, I was worried this was going to be too dark for me with my other fics, but no within a few chapters the angst has made place for this. Love that for me *gay peace sign*
#RR writing#tw: trauma mention#Hamilton#Hamilton AU#alexander hamilton#thomas jefferson#philip hamilton#Jamilton#'Till Death Do Us Part#'Till Death Do Us Part Part 6#'Till Death Do Us Part AU
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What did you think of the new biography? Is it better than Molly Ball's?
There is a rather long answer. I’ve popped it under a cut to spare everyone’s dashboard.
It's disappointing. I'm not saying this to put anyone off reading it - if you haven't read a book about Nancy before, it's a perfectly fine starter - but I suspect I made the error of getting my hopes up when Axios revealed that Paul had been interviewed for it and what it and the interviews with others might mean in terms of overall insights the book might provide. Paul's contribution, such as it is, is lovely, but I have to assume Page didn't spend very long talking to him given how few times he's quoted. I don't know the relationship between interviewer and interviewee, if he simply refused to answer some things, but we get no insight into how he felt to see his wife become Speaker. No insight into how he feels about the Republican attacks on her, the death threats etc. At one stage Alexandra asks her father what he thinks of his name being a dirty word. Page doesn't provide us his answer.
And therein lies the fundamental issue with the book - potential but no follow through. The accident which the NY Post so callously called their favorite bit is given two lines of attention. I'm not making a case for traumatic stories filling every page, but when Page has spent a bit of time recounting a car accident Paul himself was in as a teenager, it might be worth devoting a little bit of time too to such an event later in Nancy's life when her husband pulls her and their children free of the jeep they were in, but then this feels typical of a book that spends a full chapter on Nancy's relationship with the "squad" but devotes next to no time talking about her longstanding relationships with others in Congress. Barbara Boxer and Rosa DeLauro manage a paragraph, which is more than Nita Lowey, who only gets a passing mention via a reference to Ilhan Omar. Now bear in mind that DeLauro, Lowey, and Pelosi were seen as such a legislative clique that the moniker DeLowSi was coined about them. You'd never know that from this book. Indeed it is never mentioned.
The book spends too much time on things it shouldn't, and doesn't devote nearly enough time, or simply skips altogether, things it should be giving chapters too. Nancy's trip to Tiananmen Square gets a passing mention. This in particular irked me because I'd listened to Nancy recount that trip in a Zoom yesterday afternoon. That whole incident should have been given more page space, but instead it's slipped in without much detail. The repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell doesn't even warrant a mention, nor does the climate bill that Nancy had wrangled through the house just before the ACA.
I think the main issue with the book is that is framed within the context of Trump. It's like Page mentally decided that whilst everything before 2016 was fine and moderately interesting, she knew her selling point would be Nancy in the era of the orange freakshow. It's like she wanted to run through everything else so she could get to 2016, but she also knew that she couldn't very well write about Nancy without mentioning the 2008 bailout of the banks, or the ACA. Now to be fair to Page, her chapter on the bailout, "Meltdown" is actually great. It's one of the standouts of the book along with "Earthquake", her chapter on Nancy and AIDS. Indeed "Earthquake" is such a good chapter that I'd probably keep screenshots to hand so that if any leftist asshole ever says Nancy hasn't done anything good, I can reply with them. The other standout is "Sala". Is it better than Ball's? I think they sit at much the same ranking. Each author has her own strengths, and I suspect the fact that Ball wrote her book a full year earlier than Page's might contribute to the focus shift between them. Ball's ACA chapter was genuinely a thrilling read - Page's is less so, but both women make the case that the ACA was as much Nancy's as Obama's, probably more, Page even goes so far as to call the chapter "PelosiCare". The thing I notice with Page though is that her interest seems to wane when Nancy becomes minorirty leader. That period doesn't really get much of a look in beyond mid-terms and leadership elections, whereas Ball, to her credit, kept with Nancy during that period and showed her to be the fixer of messes when things invaraibly went south between Obama and Boehner. Again I think this comes down to Page rushing to get to the Trump years.The other thing that jumped out at me was how Page is less inclined to show Obama as naive. Ball essentially presents a picture of a man, who whilst good and decent, was also legislatively over idealistic, often to the point of throwing Nancy under a bus, only for her to have to crawl out and fix the mess.You get very little of that with Page. There are insinuations from others, but Page never makes the final connection. Just a mention about the book's structure. On the face of it it seems linear and chronological, but within chapters Page has a habit of jumping around, and to the point that she has to explains things twice. I don't know if this is her style, or a case of poor editorial decisions, but at least three times I had to make sure I hadn't accidentally swipped backwards on my ereader when I found myself reading what seemed to be the exact same wording that I had seen minutes earlier. What does it cover? The insurrection is in there, athough given the time Page devotes to it, she'd had been better off not bothering and instead holding off to write something more substantial for the paperback next year. Her deadline seems to have been somewhere between impeachment #2 and inauguration day. The WaPo has a much better account of January 6th than Page does. The ACA and the 2008 bailout get the bulk of the legislative accomplishments, to be expected, but I was genuinely delighted to see Page cover Nancy's AIDS achievements too. Indeed she lists them. Covid relief gets a bit of time, not all that much given how much it dominated last year, but clearly Page's deadline blocked her from covering the ARP. If you are hoping for some insight into how Nancy or her family felt when she became Speaker, or feel about her accomplishments, being the subject of death threats etc, you won't find them here. Nor will you find any mention of what Nancy does for fun (the crossword gets a solitary mention). You'd never guess her to be into theatre or music. Sport gets a brief mention, but that whole recreational side of Nancy just doesn't feature. There is at least one questionable quote source that frankly made me raise my eyebrows when I saw his name. Sean Spicer, not exactly the bastion of truth, is quoted a couple of times in the book. The justification being that he had worked for Bush jnr. Weirdly Page does not interview Bush. She spends a lot of time on Nancy's parents, pre Nancy. I get the need to give some context to the environment Nancy grew up in, but she spends more time on them than she does on Nancy as kid or teenager. Almost like she is compensating for how deficient her book is when it comes to Nancy's personal life.
I appreciate that all that above seems very negative on my part, but when a book is billed as the "definitive biography", and the end result is far from it, then I think some criticism is valid. Page's book is a easy enough read, once you get used to the fact that she can repeat herself. She's fair narrator of Nancy the politician, but like Ball, she never gets close to Nancy away from Congress. Maybe this is why Page stuck on "Lessons of Power" to the title - in a way it gives her cover for essentially failing to get to grips with Nancy away from the Hill. In a way I wish Page and Ball had colaborated - both their books have strengths that the other doesn't, and together they might have been able to manage something more. As it goes, Page's book is a decent enough effort, but it's not definitive. Indeed such a book probably seems unlikely to ever materialise.
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