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bemywingman · 1 month

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heyyyy so in response to your post about an olympics icemav au... i'm having crazy brainworms about an idea & i need to tell someone before i explode. Steve Nedoroscik on the u.s. men's gymnastics team gives me the same vibes as Bob, so i'm imagining an olympics au wherein IceMav run the men's gymnastics program as coaches, and the daggers are on the teams. Ice & Mav back in the day dominated in gymnastics & so really just competed against each other each time. now they are bickering husbands helping run a killer program (& have their pommelhorse secret weapon Bob). Cyclone, Warlock, & Hondo coach with them, with Penny head doctor. Phoenix, Halo, & Amelia from the women's team pester the boys all the time. IceMav take Payback, Fanboy, Hangman, Rooster & Bob to the olympics & medal! so. yeah that's the idea. this isn't really a request, i just needed to tell someone & your asks are open 😭 but you can use any of this if you want

ok your mind is INSANE bc this picture is so vivid from just your one paragraph. like it all matches up so perfectly i’m so glad you put this idea into the world 🤭🙂‍↕️

i don’t want to take over your idea, but here are a few hc’s that i picture for this scenario bc as soon as i read this my brain went oh wow:

icemav’s background:

- ice is the eldest son of immigrants from the ussr, and his father pushes him everyday to be the best gymnast he can be. he trains daily, only enters the best training gyms, and works under some of the best coaches money can afford.

- ice is 17 when the 1976 olympics roll around, and everyone expects he’s going to dominate on the international stage. what they don’t expect, however, is for tom to announce at family dinner that he’s chosen to represent the united states at the games rather than his parent’s beloved ussr.

- after the shockwave announcement, ice’s dad doesn’t speak to him for weeks, and he spends countless nights second guessing his decision. sure, he understands why his parents are upset, but they literally immigrated to this country so he could be american. this is his home, it’s the place that’s made him, and he wouldn’t want to compete for any other country.

- it’s not until after the games, when he has 3 gold medals around his neck and a hand to hold tightly in his own, that he knows for certain he made the right choice.

- mav, in contrast, has a complete underdog story. it’s almost storybook: growing up without a father, scrapping his way in shitty gyms and abusive coaches, and coming out the other side as the best damn gymnast anyone west of the mississippi had ever seen. when he makes the 76 olympic team, he’s cocky and brash and is absolutely not ready for the unmovable force that is tom kazansky to enter his life.

- at first ice and mav don’t get along - ice is too focused on the competition and mav is too focused on trying to outperform ice. the tension grows for a few weeks after they both qualify for the team. it all changes when goose falls from the high bar in practice and breaks his wrist. with their best teammate out, the boys have to come together to do their best and keep up team morale.

- of course they both do amazing and walk away champions!!!! i’m imagining team gold, all-around ice gold and mav silver, ice high bar gold, and mav pommel horse gold. they start a new era for men’s gymnastics, absolutely dominating the competition and looking cool as fuck doing it. little boys sign up for gymnastics classes because they wanna be like maverick, and ice’s wheaties box takes up space on kitchen tables all around america.

the team now:

- ice doesn’t have any noticeable accent in his day-to-day life, but sometimes he starts to speak in russian when he’s nervous or pissed off. hence the murmured repetitions of xуй and Пиздец when hangman gets a little too sassy or bob clips his hand and falls off the horse.

- the daggers complain a lot about mav’s strict training routines and insanely high expectations, and one day mav can’t take anymore. without a word, he takes his whistle off, slips out of his shoes, and proceeds to perform an almost perfect pommel horse routine. the boys stand in awe as he swings around, his body in complete control despite it being 30+ years since he’s competed professionally. when it’s over the daggers start apologizing profusely, and ice just laughs and rolls his eyes at the absolute mad man he’s been in love with since he was 17.

- obviously there has to be some angst regarding bradley’s entry into the sport and the legacy he feels he carries on his shoulders. like yeah, he’s not a nepo baby, but he’s also not not a nepo baby. i mean, the two head coaches of the men’s olympic team are his godparents, for god sake. maybe mav tries to keep him out, thinking of goose’s lost dreams and all of their long term injuries. maybe he pushes him to do something else with his life, constantly saying things like maybe you could be a pilot or something, baby goose. of course, it doesn’t work. in the end, mav cries as bradley steps up on the olympic podium with the medal around his neck, thinking, not for the first time, how lucky he was to have met nick bradshaw all those years ago.

- penny being a social butterfly outside the gym but taking absolutely no shit as soon as she steps onto the floor. she has no problem asking the hard questions, and will not hesitate to defend an athlete with her life. she helps lead the movement to include mental health as part of the wellness checks for athletes, and doesn’t respond kindly to anyone who blows off her recommendations. everyone is slightly scared of her, but she’s only stern because she loves the athletes to death.

- amelia is known for always checking in on everyone and makes sure both the men’s and women’s teams are feeling their best physically and mentally bc of her mom’s occupation. she’s always willing to listen or offer up advice for those who need it. she’s definitely the little sister of the group and they’re all unbelievably protective of her and her huge heart.

- jake gives bob a lot of shit when they first meet because he doesn’t look anything like a gymnast. he’s got these huge glasses and he’s super lean and jake can’t help but tease him for it. it all changes when he finally sees bob on the horse, though, moving with more grace than he’s seen anyone move before. by the time the olympics roll around, jake is his biggest supporter, cheering so loudly from the side that even the people in the rafters can hear him.

i don’t really know anything about gymnastics, so don’t hate me if things are incorrect/inaccurate. thanks again for sharing this idea. hope y’all enjoyed and thanks for reading!!!

#i’m so obsessed with these characters #enemies to lovers to husbands icemav will always be elite #top gun #top gun maverick #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #icemav

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charms-cat · 10 months

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Thoughts on TBOSAS

Disclaimers:

my memory isn’t the greatest + it’s been a couple weeks since I watched the movie + I only skimmed the book after watching

I don’t have the book on hand so I can’t fact-check this (my criticism is based on what I remember – feel free to correct me)

Buckle up bcs I’ve got an overthinking brain and a lot of opinions.

Coryo = Good, Other Students = Bad

They only had less than 3 hours for a movie that had enough content to be split into two (imagine if they’d cut it right when Coryo finds out he’s assigned to be a Peacekeeper). So I understand why they couldn’t flesh out every detail of Coryo’s relationships.

But lack of time doesn’t really explain why they couldn’t give the students some nuance. Obviously, we have the dehumanising comments/actions from Livia, Arachne, Felix, and Festus; a horrifying truth that hasn’t learned to disguise itself under ‘generous’ sponsors and ‘faith’ in a specific tribute winning. But why did they change the scenes of Clemensia and (more importantly) Lysistrata?

If you’ve read the books, you’ll know that Lysistrata is one of the kindest students. As far as we know, she didn’t suffer the same poverty as the Snows did and she doesn’t feel the same sense of kinship as Sejanus does with the kids from the districts. Still, she treats Jessup kindly. She brings him medicine when he tells her he’s in pain; she gets mad when Coryo’s angle for Lucy Gray’s image (that Lucy Gray’s more Capitol than District) meant that her angle for Jessup’s image (showcasing the District 12 tributes as a pair) would be jeopardised and thus his sponsors might be less; when she sees Jessup suffering from rabies, she offers to end his suffering by sending the water bottles; her final word about him, when it wouldn’t have given her any advantage to speak kindly about him and the Capitol had (until recently) been on high alert for ‘rogue tributes’, was to tell everyone that Jessup protected her when the arena exploded, even threw himself over her to protect her.

In the movie, she had one ‘prominent’ scene: Jessup’s attack. Maybe they were trying to showcase Coryo’s future ruthlessness by having him demand Lysistrata send the water bottles rather than use his own sponsors. But in the book, Coryo tries to send his own sponsor gifts before Lysistrata stops him and offers to send hers instead. In the original scene, Coryo’s care/affection for Lucy Gray is made obvious by how he’s willing to give up their hard-won sponsorships just to make sure that he can save Lucy Gray from Jessup; Lysistrata’s practicality also shows itself by how she willingly mercy-kills Jessup after seeing him going rabid on screen. He’s her tribute so she used the gifts that they won together.

It would’ve taken the same amount of time (or an extra minute) to keep her mercy kill and her final words on Jessup. Instead, we have Coryo’s demand + Lysistrata’s few seconds of hesitation to follow his words, despite them having an even better view of Jessup’s increasingly rabid behaviour.

Now, let’s talk Clemensia. She’s not particularly kind. Tbf in the book, she wasn’t around too long before she got bit by Gaul’s snakes. The next time she (properly) reappears, she’s cruel in how she withholds helping Reaper until he’s actually done something to ‘earn’ supplies. In the movie, she straight up disappears after getting bit (either that or the effects of the snake venom weren’t as horribly memorable as they were described to be in the book; if she really did disappear, then it also lessens the suspense of “what will happen to Lucy Gray?” later on since we don’t know the full extent of the venom’s effects). But the thing that cements my idea that “Oh, they’re trying to make Coryo look good compared to other students” is that they changed the circumstances that got her bit.

There are three key differences to her and Coryo’s meeting with Gaul:

1: when Gaul asks who came up with the ideas on the assignment, book!Clemensia claims that they both worked on it, but Coryo went by himself to drop it off; movie!Clemensia claims all the ideas for herself.

The decision to make Clemensia a selfish credit-stealer already deteriorates her likability to the audience, especially since Coryo (aka the person she’s stealing credit from) is our protagonist and, at this point in time, has ‘done’ nothing wrong. Hell, since the movie audience doesn’t know his less-than-flattering thoughts about Arachne, they only see that he was the one to rush to help her when she got stabbed. Clemensia, on the other hand, admonished him for seeming indifferent to Arachne’s death (when he told her that he had actually finished the assignment) but then goes on to claim credit for said assignment that she didn’t actually work on at all. Then the movie made it worse by changing Gaul’s dialogue from the book, namely:

2: Gaul asks/allows Coryo to fetch the paper first and

3: Gaul doesn’t explain the snake’s sense of smell until Clemensia has already put her hand in the tank (I’m 99% sure of this scene because I distinctly remember going “TAKE YOUR HAND OUT NOW, CLEMMIE” right as I read the lines).

Imo by making Gaul explain that “they won’t attack you if they’re familiar with your scent” before either Clemensia or Coryo could put their hands in the tank, it both lessens the suspense and makes it seem as if Clemensia is a very prideful person that would rather risk injury than admit wrongdoing. Which brings me to my next point ⬇

Gaul’s Depravity

There are three things I remember being weird about movie!Gaul

1: the aforementioned explanation about the snakes. The fact is that Gaul asking/allowing Coryo to take the paper first was her trying to lure Coryo and Clemensia into a false sense of security. If you don’t believe she was 100% baiting them, just remember that she doesn’t explain that the snakes might bite unfamiliar persons until it’s already too late for Clemensia to take her hand out. And when Clemensia does get bit, Gaul’s assistants rush in to inject the antivenom immediately, like they’re used to doing it. Gaul dismisses Coryo’s concerns by stating that it’s simply part of research. Then (just to drive in her callousness), Gaul dismisses him from her lab by saying it’s teatime. Coryo himself thinks Clemensia’s condition is a harsh punishment for such a simple lie.

2: she stitches up Coryo. I might’ve just simply forgotten about this, but I don’t remember a scene in the book where she personally stitches him up. After all, Gaul was willing to risk Coryo’s death in the arena (when he’s rescuing Sejanus) just to teach him the lesson that even he, with his good name and good education, would revert to predatory instincts to keep himself alive.

3: “rainbow of destruction” broadcast. Movie!Gaul indirectly warned the districts that there would be retaliation for the death of an Academy student. Granted, no one (except Coryo and Clemensia) would catch on to what “rainbow of destruction” meant, but she still warned them. When the snakes were released into the arena, people would know why they were released, why they were introducing a sudden new obstacle. Book!Gaul didn’t do that. iirc the Capitol didn’t even want the districts to know that they succeeded in dealing a blow to the Capitol (killing one of their top students/son of a prominent figure). Book!Gaul, as far as the general public knows, released the snakes for seemingly no reason than to make the Games harder. Book!Gaul didn’t even warn Coryo properly; she said there would be retaliation, but she never indicated that she would be specifically using those snakes. Coryo chanced upon the snake tank during the transfer; had he missed seeing the tank after hearing those words, he might not have made the connection that would eventually save Lucy Gray.

Positive point for the broadcast: they kept her cruel classism. They cut from the scene of the tributes killing each other to the broadcast where her opening statement was, “An important life was taken today”. I could’ve strangled her right then and there.

Modern Hunger Games

I’m sure other people have put it more eloquently than I have, but the 10th Hunger Games resembles the more modern (e.g., 74th) Hunger Games too closely. Imo the resemblance kinda strips away the initial point that the Games (without all the fanciful performance surrounding it) is a cruel and brutal punishment to force kids who don’t want to kill each other to have to kill each other to go home (does this sentence make sense?).

1: Communicuffs. In the book, the mentors used a glorified watch but, in the movies, they used TVs. You might think this is a minor thing and maybe I am overthinking it, but imo the use of a big screen makes the Academy mentors resemble the Gamemakers in the 74th/75th Games, who used big holographic screens.

2: Bloodbath. Now, I definitely remember that the 10th Games had no bloodbath. iirc Reaper was the only one ready to fight, but he took too long to get ready/get a weapon and, by the time he was geared up, everyone else had disappeared into the corridors of the colosseum. When no tributes appeared after a while, Reaper disappeared into hiding too. So, the focus was on Marcus who’d been crucified. The first death was Lamina mercy-killing Marcus.

If anything, changing the start of the Games into an actual bloodbath destroys the thesis that these kids don’t actually want to kill each other. Yes, they want to go home but that doesn’t mean they’re eager to get their hands bloody to do it. If anything, the bloodbath proves Gaul right that people are inherently predators who would do anything to survive; that compassion can be easily discarded in the face of survival. That’s the antithesis of what the Hunger Games are meant to be. Because we see time and again that compassion can exist among competitors for survival – Katniss singing to Rue, Thresh sparing Katniss in turn, Cato rushing to save Clove, Haymitch staying with Maysilee, Jessup protecting Lucy Gray, Reaper making a makeshift morgue for the dead tributes.

A bloodbath is only understandable in something like the 74th Games. Since, as far as anyone knew, the Games were here to stay. So Career districts trained their children, non-Careers grasped onto whatever knowledge they could take advantage of (Katniss’s hunting, Rue’s climbing/tracker jackers, Peeta’s camo, etc.) There were possibilities for sponsors if you were promising and a guarantee of a life of luxury if you won. So, what better time to cut down the number of competitors than when no one has supplies? Compared to the lack of…motivation during the first Games. You’d have the same type of trauma, but nothing to “soften the blow” like securing a better life for your loved ones after you win.

3: Cameras. What was with all those camera angles??? I understand having camera angles for the movie audience, but why did the Capitol audience see the same thing? One of the problems of the Games was that it wasn’t interesting to watch. The Capitol wasn’t chomping at the bit to watch an arena of nothing, for tributes they didn’t actually care about. That’s why betting was introduced, to motivate the Capitol to watch out for the tribute they were betting on, if only to confirm that said tribute was still alive.

Being able to know everything in real time undercuts the suspense of certain scenes – why was Lucy Gray running from Jessup? Why did Wovey(?) suddenly die after drinking from a water bottle? Why did Coral betray Tanner(?) In the book, we learn all this in time with Coryo. When Jessup attacks, Coryo quickly connects the aversion to water (I think Jessup swatted away the bottle Coryo was trying to send to Lucy Gray) + the bite Jessup felt on his neck + the rat poison needed around the zoo to conclude that Jessup had rabies. He had to come up with a strategy on the spot vs. when he already had an inkling by watching Jessup’s aversion to water and sudden aggressiveness to Lucy Gray in the barricaded room. As for Wovey(?), Coryo figured that the bottle was laced with rat poison vs. when we saw Lucy Gray dump in the poison. As for Coral’s betrayal, we never find out why in the book vs. when we see them having an argument in the movie (this one’s more minor, but the thing about “knowing ‘everything’ that goes on with the tributes” plays too much into the modern Games perspective; personally, her sudden betrayal made it more shocking compared to when their movie!argument already starts hinting to future betrayal).

4: Gaul’s Snake Mutts. I hate the decision to make the snakes gigantic (or normal snake size idk). The book!snakes were about as long as a ruler and were so thin that a single normal-sized tank could hold hundreds of them. They were meant for Gaul to play around with in the lab. Gaul herself didn’t intend to use her snakes in the Games.

But the reason why I really hate the gigantism of the snakes is that it dramatizes the Games in the same way as the sudden appearance of the dog mutts in the 74th. The shocking burst of the tank feels a little too close to how the Gamemakers added in mutts to up the ‘excitement’ vs. book!snakes that never burst out; they simply slithered their way out their opened tank and began surging towards all the unfamiliar smells.

Extra negative point for trying to convince us that a tiny handkerchief maintained its smell long enough to travel throughout the entire tank; this without even considering that Coryo inserted the handkerchief from the bottom. What, were the snakes passing the handkerchief up?

Infallible Coryo

Again, might be overthinking on my part, but I feel like the movie made it seem like Coryo was more strategic than quick-thinking. One of the things that made me like him was that he was intelligent in the way that he could come up with solutions on the spot. So it’s a bit disappointing that they replaced that trait, especially since it comes at the cost of Lucy Gray’s own intelligence/agency (I’ll explain this in the next point).1

1: Coryo checks out the arena the night before the Games. Again, might be misremembering but I don’t think he ever did this. Or if he even had the time since I think a lot of the Academy kids were hospitalised after the bombing and then the Games took place right after.

2: Coryo collects the rat poison vs. Lucy Gray collects it herself.1

3: one thing about Katniss’s Games that made it more realistic imo is that part of her survival relied on luck. If her dad hadn’t taught her how to hunt, she might’ve not even found water during those first days in the arena; if Cinna hadn’t chosen to be a stylist in her year and Peeta hadn’t made her look desirable, then she might’ve had less sponsors than she did. So, I don’t like that they changed how Coryo found out about the snake mutts.

As said in my previous point: book!Coryo chanced upon the tank transfer. If Gaul hadn’t called him for a meeting; if the scientists hadn’t left him alone with the tank; if he’d taken out the handkerchief beforehand – had any of his circumstances changed, Lucy Gray might’ve died from the snakes too.

But thanks to movie!Gaul’s broadcast, movie!Coryo knew/had strong suspicion of exactly what was about to happen. He knew where to go, he had an excuse to see Gaul (ig you could say the lucky part is that Gaul didn’t turn him away/direct him to the hospital instead), he knew he needed the handkerchief; all he had to do was execute his plan. If they wanted Coryo to look smart, I’d say it was more impressive that he could connect the tank transfer to Gaul’s retaliation almost immediately after seeing the tank.

Lucy Gray = Good, Other Tributes = Bad, Coryo = Worse

1: when I say other tributes, I mostly mean two instances –

Jessup’s abandonment. Like I said in my first point, Lysistrata said that book!Jessup protected her during the bombing vs. movie!Jessup attempting to run away/escape. Between Jessup’s constant protection of Lucy Gray and that Lysistrata had no reason to lie (especially about a specific action), I 100% believe that Jessup really did his utmost to protect Lysistrata at the time. It feels like a slap to the face that, in their attempt of making Lucy Gray look good, they took away one of Jessup’s kindest, self-sacrificial actions. It almost feels like they’re making him a bit classist himself since he doesn’t hesitate to protect a District kid, but they changed the scene where he protected a Capitol kid. Point is: they did my boy, Jessup, dirty bcs he (at the very least) wouldn’t abandon Lucy Gray while escaping!

Coral’s alliance. istg Coral’s alliance starting the bloodbath and hunting down Lucy Gray and Jessup was mimicking the scene of Cato’s alliance murdering in the bloodbath and hunting down Katniss. Especially since they also had a scene where one of them (I’m so sorry idk his name, but it was the kid that said he was scared to go through the door flap/Cato) tried to chase after them by going through the door/climbing the tree.

Idk if they were trying to ‘foreshadow’ District 4 eventually becoming a Career district, but no. They could be ruthless (forcing Lamina to choose who to fight), but they weren’t the same kind of ruthless hunters as the Careers in the 74th. (Going to repeat my point that these changes only prove Gaul’s point that we’re all inherent predators.) The worst part is that their bloodthirsty alliance is contrasted to Lucy Gray’s kind camaraderie with Jessup (her worriedly searching for him and dragging him away from the fight asap). Both Coral’s alliance and Lucy Gray should’ve been at the same ‘starting point’ – kids who resorted to killing, not ones who were so eager to get home that they start murdering as soon as they get their hands on a weapon.

2: Coryo does the thinking for Lucy Gray. Gonna elaborate on my two previous points…

Coryo checks out the arena. This one bothers me so much bcs can they really not give Lucy Gray something as basic as knowing how and where to hide? Why is it Coryo that has to tell her exactly where she can hide and how to get there? + for some reason, they added an underground bunker? Imo they could’ve had even more suspense if they kept the fact that there was no bloodbath and all the tributes were hiding in the stands/corridors. It also would’ve been the perfect scene to showcase Lucy Gray’s smarts by making it so that she had to figure out how to avoid/hide from multiple tributes in a confined, unfamiliar space.

Coryo collects the rat poison. This one bothers me a lot too bcs, even though Coryo gave the compact specifically to hold the poison, Lucy Gray is the one who decides to bring it into the arena. I feel like making movie!Coryo collect the poison instead of her takes away her agency how she wants to survive the Games. Book!Coryo doesn’t see her in the zoo so he can only hope that she’ll risk cheating by bringing in the poison; it could’ve been easy for Lucy Gray to lie and say that nobody took the bait or that she didn’t bring in enough poison since he had no proof whether she did or didn’t have poison during the Games. The fact that movie!Coryo pleads(?) with her to take the compact, knowing that it’s carrying poison, makes it feel more like he’s forcing her to take a risk rather than letting her choose. If the compact had ended up being empty, then they could’ve bs something like he wanted her to have a memento of him during the Games instead of it being an instrument in cheating.

3: Lucy Gray’s calculated kills. One of the things that makes Lucy Gray nuanced is that she does bad things of her own volition. She’s trying to survive the Games so it’s not as if it’s a despicable thing for her to be cunning. But movie!Lucy Gray’s too good to even be that, as proven by how she kills. Book!Lucy Gray kills Wovey, Treech, and Reaper; movie!Lucy Gray kills Dill and Treech (there’s supposed to be a third, but I don’t remember who).

Book!Lucy Gray was deliberate. She knows she isn’t as fast or strong as some of the others so she preps to take out the other tributes through other means –

Wovey: iirc Lucy Gray poisoned a bottle and then just dropped it in the corridor to make it seem like it was a lost bottle. iirc she says something along the lines of “Poor Wovey. I was aiming for Coral, not her”. Intended victim or not, she baited a thirsty tribute into drinking what seems like their only source of water.

Treech: he swings a weapon at her while she’s trying to retreat. In self-defence, Lucy Gray reveals that she kept one of the snakes and releases it on Treech. I’m highlighting the fact that she kept it bcs Lucy Gray keeps it despite seeing the frenzied assault the snakes launched on all the other tributes. (idk if this is before or after Treech, but she also counts the corpses so she must’ve seen the effects of the venom). Either way, she kept it with the intention of quite possibly using it.

Reaper: iirc she admits to poisoning the puddle Reaper was drinking from. Then, she makes the poisoned Reaper use the last of his energy to chase her. Coryo himself says that she was trying to “run him to death”. Unlike the previous two killings, Lucy Gray knew exactly who she intended to kill and what she’d need to do to achieve it. He wasn’t drinking from a bottle so she found out which puddle he was drinking from; he was protective of his morgue so she made him chase her by running off with the flag.

Movie!Lucy Gray still did things intentionally, but it felt more hasty than calculated. She killed Dill the same way she killed Wovey, but it felt less like deception (making her victim think that she dropped a perfectly good bottle) and more like force (every other bottle is empty so there’s really no choice). Not really much to comment on Treech’s death since it’s quite similar, just that her ‘last resort’ is different.

I get that they were pressed for time so they had to hasten the end of the Games, but it feels like such a pity to lose Lucy Gray’s cunning in the process.

Mentors

Quick aside here, but why did they make it so that the Academy kids didn’t know that they were going to be mentors? They already knew that they were going to be assigned a tribute. iirc Coryo was worried since he wanted a ‘good’ tribute and, when all the ‘good ones’ were gone, he hoped that Dean Highbottom forgot him instead of assigning him a tribute from District 12. It seems unnecessary, but maybe I’m missing something.

EDIT: got some thoughts on this movie change

Translating Thoughts to Expressions

I understand that a lot of Coryo’s more rancid opinions remain as thoughts. Esp since he’s constantly trying to look not-poor and so that he can gain any advantage he can get. So he doesn’t say anything about Sejanus (Strabo Plinth could give him money), Ma (she gives him good, free food), Arachne (he has tact), Gaul (have you met the woman?). But there is one thing that stands out to me; a good chance to show the movie-only audience that he’s actually putting up an act: Sejanus calling him Coryo.

I think it’s more obvious in the book, but only Tigris and his childhood friends ever call him Coryo. It’s a nickname reserved for people he’s close to. So, the fact that Sejanus says it so casually takes away the momentum of the moment where Sejanus feels like they’ve grown close enough for him to use it. Book!Sejanus says it in a moment of apology – “I’m sorry. Coryo, I’m sorry” – bcs Coryo had to save him from the arena and, not only was Sejanus’s action fruitless, Coryo ended up killing Bobbin and being hunted by the other tributes. Movie!Sejanus says it when Coryo finds him in the arena. I can’t remember the line, but it’s when he was trying to explain why he was there. He just blurts it out in the middle of the sentence like he’d always been calling him Coryo.

Anyway, the reason why I say this is an opportunity to show Coryo’s true feelings is bcs this is one of the few times where Coryo has the possibility and ‘safety’ to slip up. When book!Sejanus calls him Coryo, he’s emotionally overwhelmed and physically exhausted. He’s horrified by his murder of Bobbin, anxious about the tributes chasing him and Sejanus, frustrated/angry that the Peacekeepers didn’t help them until the last minute on top of his annoyance at Ma turning up at their house, disdain for Sejanus (Coryo being his only friend meant that Ma turned up at his house specifically), and his initial worry/fear of going into the arena. Sejanus assuming he could use Coryo’s nickname would be the cherry on top of an already hellish night. And when I say ‘safety’, I mean that Coryo’s expression could’ve easily been hidden from Sejanus by making it so that the shadows of the colosseum shrouded him.

Over-explanation

This might be my most overthinking one, but I feel like the movie treats the audience like they’re a bit stupid? Like they’re explicitly explaining rather than just letting us make inferences. There’re three changes I can think of for this.

1: Snake mutts. I won’t explain this scene again, but movie!Gaul specifies that the snakes would recognise the “sweat on your palm”. She’d already explained that the snakes wouldn’t attack familiar smells, like the ones that they’d been around all morning. This explanation + knowing the tank had been lined with their papers was (imo) enough info to clue in that “the snakes won’t attack bcs they’ve been smelling the papers”. The extra tidbit just feels like they’re not sure we’ll understand how lining the tank = snakes not attacking.

2: “rainbow of destruction”. Not explaining this scene again either, but the broadcast did make it seem very in-your-face about what was gonna happen. It doesn’t help that Gaul emphasises that distinct phrase.

3: Jabberjays. So, jabberjays singing like normal birds to blend in, but turn silent when they're recording. And while Coryo uses this knowledge of how jabberjays work, the scene falls flat a bit. Bcs book!Sejanus doesn't know how the jabberjays work. Coryo cleverly turns on the recording function and then gets rid of him quickly after he gets the info bcs he knows it'd be sus if Sejanus figures out that "hey, why was this bird silent the whole time but suddenly starts singing?" But, in the movie, they repeat the fact that the bird falling silent means it was recording bcs Coryo replays the recording. (Maybe I’m misremembering this)

Still, Sejanus dies without knowing Coryo was the traitor. Or he should, but they reveal the recording again right before they hang him. Just in case we couldn’t figure out why he was being executed ig 🙄

Well, that’s the end of my vent. If you’ve read this far, thank you fro reading, but also feel free to correct me if you think/know I’m wrong about something.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg meta #the hunger games #hunger games #ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #volumnia gaul #lysistrata vickers #clemensia dovecote #jessup diggs #tbosas coral #tbosas spoilers #reaper ash #the ballad of songbirds and snakes spoilers #charms-posts

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lueurjun · 1 year

Text

costars to lovers — beomgyu.

in which beomgyu is a world renowned actor who harbours a little crush on the gorgeous costar, who also turns out to be his love interest. how interesting. lovesick actor!beomgyu x whipped actor reader! — brain fog turned into this :/. requests are open if u want something specific<3 thank u for the support!

CHILD ACTOR BEOMGYU TURNED HEARTTHROB

because who’s heart wouldn’t throb for him?

this generations leo ;) ❪ but a less of a creep ❫

known for being rowdy and wild but the second the cameras are rolling this boy IS IN CHARACTER

talk about professional

why’s that hot tho? someone revoke my simp privileges the bar is in the ground

he’s the wild golden boy that has the world wrapped around his finger

enter you

gosh.

good golly

the people’s prince/princess/royalty whatever u wanna go with bby

i see you having the same hype as zendaya

bc why wouldn’t you? LOOK. AT. YOU! you have it all

save some perfection for the rest of us bae

when people heard that THE y/n y/l/n and THE choi beomgyu were going to be sharing the same screen

PEOPLE DIED!

not literally but i’m sure someone went into cardiac arrest

it was me

because this was HUGE!! two of the biggest young stars at the moment on one screen???

set to be the next big thing purely just because of you two

not even exaggerating twitter crashed

and when they found out you were playing love interests?

oof. the internet damn near exploded

and when the two of you met??

leaked pictures of the two of you EVERYWHERE

every single person in the area was absolutely astounded

because?? choi beomgyu?? was speechless??

YOU HAD BROKEN THE UNBREAKABLE

i c o n i c

he couldn’t form a sentence

obviously he knew what you looked like and he knew you were beyond attractive

but there was something different about you in person?

you aura, just everything about you stood out to him and it left him completely tongue tied

BREATHLESS EVEN

and you’re no better because you’re sure your mouth dried up the moment he cracked a smile

absolute simps

love at first sight vibes

STOP THATS SO CUTE SORRY

lingering glances and shared shy giggles

SHARED SHY GIGGLES

like one of you cracks a joke to ease the tension and you both just erupt into a fit of laughter together

and no one else is laughing?? just you two?? in your own little moment

as the filming days roll along and the two of you grow more comfortable

beomgyu is more laid back and you get to see the real side of him

but not the one the media sees like yes he’s rowdy and wild but he’s also?? quite sensitive and tender

you learn so much about him that others would never even dream of knowing and he’s the same with you

he knows the tiniest mundane details about you

but to him they’re the most interesting??

like he loves knowing what your favourite beverage is?

and he’s fascinated by the design on your duvet at home because he knows your blanket brings you comfort

it’s the small things that no one else would even care about

but he does and you love that!! because finally someone wants to know you as a person not just as an entertainer

he enjoys the fact that you’re not afraid to act all weird with him on set

and he’s comforted by how comfortable you are with him??

it’s a dynamic neither of you have experienced before and though new can be scary, it’s also really nice because you just get each other

i just wanna smoosh both of your pretty faces together!! so goddamn cute! so cute! it’s all just soooo cute! gosh!

come here. bring it in. i need to hug the hell out of you both for being so damn cute

before long the staff are starting to place bets on how long it will take before one of you falls

your hairstylist bets you

what a traitor

but your director — who has worked with beomgyu on a number of occasions — knows that it’s gonna be him

because he’s never seen beomgyu so smitten

and he believes that beomgyu has already realized his feelings

over the course of filming the two of you hang out off set

beomgyu keeps up his ‘rowdy’ image and attends countless parties

but he’s never arriving nor leaving with a random person on his arm

instead, he’s arriving and leaving with the same person everytime

oh em gee? can you guess who?

you!!

stopped countless times by paparazzi who have no regard for personal space or privacy

and you both insist you’re just friends

but there’s something about the way beomgyu holds you by the waist or keeps his hand on your lower back everytime

that has them questioning whether there’s something more there

and to be honest

so are you

because choi beomgyu is so confusing

you don’t deserve that. i reckon u should come to me instead;)

you know he’s naturally flirty but the way he flirts with you is different to how he flirts with other people

romcom player core

he’s never explicitly said he likes you or anything

but he goes out of his way to compliment even the smallest things about you

makes an extra effort to open doors and pull out your chairs for you

even his friends are surprised by his behaviour

but low-key don’t blame him because you’re y/n y/l/n and they would be the same

beomgyu is a very hard person to read so you can’t tell whether he’s doing this because he likes you

or whether he’s just trying to gain even more hype for the film

the mixed signals are KILLING YOU

but you keep your mouth shut because making things awkward is the last thing you wanna do

nah i say go off on him! i’ll even stand behind you and hand you toilet rolls as a weapon! LETS GET HIM

instead you decide to distance yourself just a little

you couldn’t do a whole lot considering you worked with the boy

but you decided to limit how much you hang out with him in your personal time

which soon comes apparent to you both that you spent pretty much every second together

and neither of you liked the sudden space

poor beomgyu is lost because why are you so busy all of a sudden?

you’ve had at least four dental appointments in the last week

bae you act for a living and you can’t even make up a good lie?

sorry that was judgemental ily but still HOW ARE YOU SO BAD AT LYING?

anyways after your fifth dental appointment and nineteenth doctors visit, beomgyu is starting to get a sneaking suspicion that you’re avoiding him

nooo? really?? who would’ve guessed?

he’s a lil slow

since you’re all booked and busy, he decides to confront you at work

legitimately barges into your trailer and slams the door shut

staff members walking by are like 0>0 side eyeing each other bc they live for the gossip

it’s me. i’m staff members :P

you’re in shock because why is bro literally standing like a troll in your trailer?

troll gyu lowkey hot

absolutely kidding :D

breathing like he just ran a marathon

though you take a sec to notice the muscle tee he’s wearing and how it clings to him in all the right places

proof or it didn’t happen

“are you-“

“why are you avoiding me?”

he’s so blunt with it but you don’t expect anything less from beomgyu

“i’m not?”

why u always lyin?

“yes you are. talk to me!”

“i am talking to you. this is a conversation, is it not?”

smart ass

truth be told you’re embarrassed

and the fact that beomgyu looks quite upset is only making it worse

nah i’d evaporate if i ever made him sad

“no one visits any medical professional that much in two weeks. i’m starting to believe that you didn’t even shrink your bones now.”

so he believed you miraculously shrank your bones but not that you would have to visit a medical professional frequently?

yeah cos that makes so much sense

how beomgyu of him

“fine. i’ve been lying to you.”

nah. fr? nah cos i thought you really shrank your bones

“why?”

he sounds so disappointed and it actually hurts your soul

what makes things worse is that he grabs your hand and peers at you through big puppy dog eyes

“did i upset you?”

instant guilt

“no-no. not really. it’s—it’s more me than you? like—”

you’re well aware that none of what you just said made sense

and beomgyu is also confused now and you just sigh in defeat

me every three minutes after writing a sentence that makes no sense :(

“i don’t know how to say it.”

“then say words and i’ll put them together.”

instantly swooning

literally does not help your case because now you’re blushing

he literally didn’t even do anything but it’s the way he said it

the chokehold this man has on you—

“like—okay fine. i guess i feel like you’ve been kinda giving me mixed signals and i just didn’t wanna get hurt…”

cocks his head to the side like a little puppy

“mixed signals?”

you just nod and fiddle with your hands which are still being held by him as you wait for his brutal rejection

“i’m sorry? i didn’t mean to…”

you: *sniffs about to break down* nah it’s good, i literally don’t even care about you

he squeezes your hands tighter and takes a step forward

which sends your heartbeat wild because you did not prepare for him to enter your square of personal space

“i’ve never been the best with words so i usually try and show how i feel through actions, and i guess that was my first mistake. i didn’t mean to confuse you, i actually really like you and just assumed by being affectionate and such, it would become clear.”

quick everyone act shocked

he’s very close now

and the only thing you can focus on is whether your breath stinks or not

he’s not dry heaving yet so you assume you’re good

“oh.”

you’re a person of many words, i see

in true beomgyu fashion, he takes another step closer with a gleaming smile

“so…what do you say we practice that kissing scene a little early?”

wot 🧍‍♀️

you literally shut down

did he just ask to kiss you???

“in like a friendly way like two actors practising for a scene or a—”

beomgyu doesn’t let you finish before he cups your cheeks and presses a kiss to your lips

butterflies.

fireworks.

his lips are so soft and suddenly, you never want to experience the feeling of not knowing what it’s like to kiss him

though you’re still a tad confused

sweet little oblivious dumbass<3

“so was that a practice or—“

beomgyu can’t help but laugh at you

because you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen

needless to say, you had many more ‘practice’ kisses after that

and when news broke of your relationship?

the world exploded.

running off four hours sleep ready to plan your wedding rn

yes i’m using my lack of sleep to blame if this was bad :D

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moodywyrm · 1 year

Note

been thinking about hugs from behind with abby. like her wrapping you up after patrol (or practice if we’re talking abt college! abby) leaning in and kissing you i’ll explode rn.

can i also be 🐥 anon?

need this one rn bc my brain is so stuck on blushy sweet Abby Anderson ,,,, jj and I have been having a moment it's okay. also of course! welcome to club baby!

thinking about Abby coming home from patrol. It wasn't even an especially bad patrol, but she felt like it dragged on forever. The reason? She missed her girl, bad. It literally felt like her chest was trying to combust, and the only thing that would stop it would be a hug from you.

The second she checks her gear back in, she's speed-walking through the stadium, giving people half-hearted 'hey's when they try to talk to her. She's a woman on a mission, nearly crashing into walls and any people in her way.

Abby literally skids into the library, eyes locking onto you like a heat-seeking missile. You're standing with your back to the door, shelving a new shipment of books that Abby had gotten for you a few days before. She almost whines when she sees you, every ounce of clinginess building in her. She makes her way to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you into her.

"AH- Oh shit, hi baby, had me scared for second," You laugh, relaxing into her arms after nearly jumping out of them. Abby whines, pressing a kiss to your neck when you start rubbing at her forearms.

"Sorry sweet girl, just missed you," She mumbles, pressing kisses wherever she can and tightening her arms around you. The loose hairs of her braid tickle your skin, causing you to squirm in her arms.

You melt at how affectionate she's being, grabbing one of her hands and intertwining your fingers. "Mm, I missed you too baby. My shifts almost over, how about you go shower and wait for me in the room?"

This was, clearly, not the correct response, because Abby immediately tightens her hold, huffing into your neck. Her hands grip at you even tighter, blunt nails pressing into you.

"No, I wanna stay with you, if that's alright. Maybe we can shower together after?" And she just sounds so needy and her touch is so warm, how could you ever disagree?

"You got it, baby, now do you wanna keep hugging me or are you okay with sitting at the counter while I work?"

Abby almost whines, but realistically she knows if she lets you finish your work then you can get to the shower faster. She mumbles a lil 'counter' before letting go, spinning you around and pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, before making her way to the counter.

You get back to work, trying to speed through the last few books, your own neediness now growing at the way Abby sits at the counter, head resting on her crossed arms as she stares at you with the biggest heart eyes you've ever seen.

Needless to say, the second you signed out, Abby was dragging you out of the library and back to the showers, hoping – for everyone else's sake – it was empty.

I,,,,, don't know what this is, not even edits could fix it ,,,,

#🐥 anon #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x reader fluff

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theadhdgoblin · 4 months

Text

Does anyone else’s ADHD flick from inattentive to hyperactive?

I’ve noticed I get extremely wound up when I have to wait for anything. Or focus on something someone else is doing. It’s like my blood is fizzing & if you don’t get on with it I’m gong to explode.

I need to be doing something All the time. This is not my usual adhd. Or maybe, the tism need for measured or low stimulus has been stronger. Most times it’s a struggle to get myself to do anything to the point I’m too chill. So chill it’s frustrating. Because there are things I want to progress but I’m too good at relaxing even when I don’t want to be.

but it’s like I have too much activation energy now.

It’s nice to get things done that I need to. But I cannot fall asleep bc my mind is racing. I’m so twitchy I cannot even cope the few seconds it takes for a hot tap to get hot.

This constant life on the edge feeling is driving me a bit insane. It’s like I’m on speed but I’m unmediated. Im so tired but my brain won’t rest for long.

It’s like I’ve swung from one extreme to the other.

Does anyone else’s adhd do this?

#the adhd goblin asks you #actually autistic #goblin things #adhd #being autistic #adhd things

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blossom-hwa · 1 year

Text

a detailed analysis of rizz levels across pretty much every group I stan

chip ( @wingkkun ) and I had a very interesting conversation about this a couple months ago. here are the results, complete with direct citations and paraphrasing from our instagram dms. I do not take constructive criticism but I will entertain debates in my inbox. think of it as a scientific peer review

(disclaimer: all of this is meant in good fun and is not meant to be rude or harmful to any member I talk about. I love every one of them and in the end this is all just a joke!)

TXT.

soobin: below the charts. this man has negative infinity rizz. less rizz than me and that’s saying something bc I only ever flirt on accident if I tried to do it on purpose the world would explode. the limit of his rizz as you approach any point is negative infinity and I do not feel sorry for saying this. in the wise words of chip, “we like you bc ur ultimate cringefail (affectionate)”

taehyun: net positive rizz. I'm definitely biased but also do not argue with me I will bite your face off. the amount of rizz he has is a true problem and I am not immune to it (neither are you). he’s so cute and he’s also so hot and smart and I'm never going to shut up if I keep going so I'll stop. positive rizz. off the charts. do not @ me.

beomgyu: please refer to hoshi’s bit below. they are one and the same. beomgyu had too much rizz it was eating him alive so his body compressed and converted it (lossless compression) to another form and now he’s a chaos monster who screams for a living and oozes what remains of his original rizz onstage. we love him for it

hyuka: +10 rizz because he’s cute. no more than that because he’s an overgrown baby (affectionate). he gives me a lot of brain damage but it’s just because of his plushies and his little brother energy so I feel like he could manipulate me with his rizz but it would only go so far before I either pat his head bc he’s so cute or I punch him in the face bc of the annoying sibling energy therefore he only gets ten points

yeonjun: after going through the entirety of our conversation I realize now that chip and I forgot to diagnose the rizz levels of the fourth gen it boy so now I'm pulling some shit out of my ass. net positive but low magnitude. I give him +3. mostly because he’s got insane stage presence and has the ability to kick beomgyu in the face but he’s soooooo pathetic. possibly reading skye’s ( @warmau ) thoughts about him have influenced me but he’s pathetic hence the very very low magnitude of rizz. I am not sorry

SEVENTEEN.

mingyu: rizzless. I direct you to this post I made because it’s factual and explains his horrifically low levels of rizz. do not be fooled by this man’s muscles he’s constantly screaming crying throwing up to be told he’s sexy but the second someone does tell him that he’s a blushing anime girl (affectionate) and we love him for it but he’s rizzless. negative off the charts

jun: rizzless but not in the same manner as mingyu he just does not know what rizz is. very similar to juyeon in this manner. the8 or dino have definitely tried to explain rizz to him before but he simply does not understand and does not care to. even if he did understand it I'm still not certain he’d care which gives him a lower magnitude rizz than mingyu which is better even if it’s still negative

the8: positive rizz with quite a high magnitude. I can’t quantify it but it doesn’t even matter because even though he has rizz he doesn’t use it. he’d rather tell us to stop having a parasocial relationship with people behind our little computer screens and ooze rizz via charisma on stage instead and I can respect that.

seungkwan: so much rizz. so much fucking rizz have you ever seen this man complimenting female idols on shows. have you ever seen this man tell idols they’re pretty and wonderful and beautiful in every which way without batting a damn eye and with so much earnestness I blush. cannot believe chip ever thought this man as on the same level of rizzlessness as soob smh

vernon: 0 rizz, but this does not mean he is rizzless. rizz is a spectrum and having 0 levels of it just means you are rizz neutral. purely neutral. no one has purely neutral rizz the way vernon does he’s simply so special. that one gose episode where he showed up in that rainbow hoodie with red glasses? that’s the epitome of rizz neutrality

s.coups: refer to daeyeol’s bit below. handsome. reliable. have you seen him with kkuma. I melt every time. unfortunately he is still horrifically pathetic and though we adore him for it this does unfortunately decrease his rizz levels drastically. without it he’d probably be somewhere at positive infinity but now he’s at like +8. the world knew that if coups wasn’t pathetic enough he’d be too powerful so they had to humble him.

hoshi: he doesn’t have rizz but it’s not like the nerds where their rizz levels are just buried in the negatives it’s more like the magnitude of his rizz was so high that it has since been compressed and turned into something else. so he has no rizz but it’s not because he was born pathetic, it’s because it was converted due to the law of conservation of rizz (real)

wonwoo: similar to taehyun in that they’re both very positive but slightly different. yes they are both gym rats yes they are both token introverts (sort of) but wonwoo is a gamer. their rizz is fundamentally different but they’ve evolved to be similar due to their personalities kinda like wings on bats and birds. as you can tell it’s been a while since I took biology

jeonghan: similar to lino in that he has rizz but he stole it. the difference between them is that lino has some natural organic rizz while jeonghan was born with none and stole all that he owns now. without this stolen rizz he would be a limp noodle dragging himself across the earth but now he’s a fairy. life isn’t fair

dino: negative but low magnitude. the first number I gave him was -14 I don’t really know why it was -14 specifically but the point is it’s supposed to be low magnitude. recently he began climbing my bias list and chip yesterday convinced me to change his magnitude to to something lower so I now give him -4. I am easily swayed

joshua: positive rizz in the same manner as jangjun et al. the man is fucking insane. insane charisma but also just plain insane. I'm not entirely convinced he didn’t steal some of it but while jeonghan freely admits that he stole it joshua keeps evading the question. there is a venn diagram of jangjun et al and lino et al and joshua is in the intersection

woozi: I considered an intersection between chanhee and the8 and I think woozi falls into it. perhaps I've just been gaslit into thinking he has positive rizz but let’s just roll with the thought. has some rizz like the8 (less than the8 though) but does not care to use it (like chanhee) and also doesn’t really care that it’s there. he just kinda lets it be

dk: net negative but low magnitude. I originally gave him -13 to bc I thought he was a step above dino but not by much. I still kind of think this way so I'm elevating him to -3 since dino got elevated to -4. sorry dino I think you’ll always be one step behind no matter how big of a crush I have on you

STRAY KIDS.

lino: has rizz but in the wrong way. the man touches butts for a living AND he has cats he’s got to have some rizz hence the net positive but he also definitely stole some. please refer to my comments on this post for details he definitely does not organically have all this rizz but he’s stolen it and now it’s his you can’t ask for it back

chan: also has rizz but in the wrong way but also differently from lino. chan should not have as much rizz as he does but he’s got that “libra sun scorpio venus rizz” (chip) which makes him extremely dangerous. he’s a loser and for that I'd give him negative rizz but unfortunately he has an aura that separates him from the likes of mingyu (it’s the dilf dad energy) so he has net positive rizz of a dangerous magnitude.

jisung: we welcome another member to the ranks of the negative infinity rizz. do I even need to explain. does the anime girl babygirl pathetic cute energy not already do enough explanation for you. I should not have to spell out the fact that this man is rizzless at every point on the mathematic plane. I love him to death but that will not save him from the rizzless fate

seungmin: please refer to jangjun in the honorary mentions below. his rizz applies here. positive rizz. high magnitude. ridiculous for a man of his caliber but here we are. he’s got some weird mutant rizz and that’s all I can really say like.....what do you become when you have rizz levels +69,420. what do you fucking do.

changbin: fluctuates between +10 and -10 like a sine curve (please refer to mingi’s bit for more information). his positive rizz is similar energy to yunho but louder and his negative rizz is just pathetic baby boy-ness. I adore him. big muscle men who are soft. I don’t have a section for wonho but if I did they’d be of very similar types.

hyunjin: negative rizz. he’s an only child what else do I need to say. ferret energy. flails around. long limbs that he doesn’t know what to do with. so much baby girl energy I always want to laugh at him (affectionate). lovely boy so very lovely with such fucking negative rizz

felix: like jangjun and co his rizz got converted but unlike jangjun and co it was not converted to insanity. it was converted to something...... alien. idk how to explain it. asymptotic rizz, according to chip. weird behavior as x approaches infinity. I agree with this assessment. nothing earthly explains how this man is so ethereal so I have concluded that alien magic converted his rizz to ethereality

jeongin: ok so I did say vernon is the only one who’s truly reached rizz neutral but jeongin is pretty close. similar vibes. they’re both slightly insane of course but they are also more than likely to just stand there and vibe. this gives off rizz neutrality. jeongin is less neutral (probably tipped in the negative direction) but he’s getting there.

ATEEZ.

seonghwa: rizzless this man is the nerdiest nerd ever he is RIZZLESS. magnitude infinity in the negative region of the graph. he and soobin are two sides of the same coin the latter is a lanky little gamer dude and the former is a Star Wars nerd with a display case for his figurines. the absolute most negative rizz ever (affectionate)

yunho: oooooooo my god. positive rizz if I've ever seen one. so much rizz. so much fucking rizz. the magnitude of his rizz is off the charts and unlike the other insane ones his rizz didn’t get converted so he is DANGEROUS. if you ever meet this man in the wild run in the other direction you will not survive his pull. in the wise words of chip “yunho has |rizz| (absolute positive rizz)”

mingi: his rizz...fluctuates. like a sine curve idk. he alternates between having so much rizz it hurts and so little rizz it’s laughable. yes I have definitely been influenced by having seen him in concert twice (do NOT bring up the fact that he became a wrecker after the second). he knows he’s hot and will use that to the best of his ability but he’s also kind of pathetic and for some reason it doesn’t balance out so he fluctuates

jongho: has rizz. does not care to use it. falls in the same camp of the the8-ers (refer to the seventeen section) in which he prefers to simply ooze rizz onstage and kill everyone’s heart there instead of flirting with fans. respectable. also incredibly dangerous. everyone wants to hug him but if you try to his rizz will snap you in half but if not huggable then why hug shape?

hongjoong: net positive rizz but he’s convinced he has more than he does so I dock several points due to excessive confidence. panics too much when wooyoung tries to kiss him for me to restore them. if he gay panicked a little less then I might consider him having as much rizz as he says he does but alas he does not and so I will not.

san: -10 rizz. negative but not too negative. he’s really cute and really hot but also really pathetic and I say this with the greatest fondness imaginable. remember that one poll where tiny voted him as the person they’d least like to vacation w bc he’d stay inside (don’t worry me too san)? same vibes. his patheticness outweighs his hotness and while they’re close, ultimately patheticness wins out. sorry not sorry

yeosang: net positive rizz but he does not use it. this is not by choice. he just doesn’t know how to. in fact I'm not fully convinced he knows what rizz is. in this manner he is somewhat similar to juyeon (refer to the boyz section below) except where juyeon’s rizz is negative infinity yeosang has some positive levels. in chip’s words get well soon yeo

wooyoung: falls in the same camp as hyunjae in that he has fully negative rizz and embraces this fact to use it as a weapon. dangerous man. fully insane. if his rizz was positive he’d be the same as jangjun and co but unfortunately he’s pathetic for hongjoong so his rizz is negative and is not handled the same way.

THE BOYZ.

hyunjae: all of Bermuda line is rizzless to the max but in different ways. in hyunjae’s case he knows he is rizzless and fully accepts and utilizes this to his benefit. you’re telling me this man doesn’t know how pathetic (fond) he is? he’s self aware and will absolutely use this against you. as dangerous as those with high positive levels of rizz. watch the fuck out

younghoon: fully rizzless bc he’s in Bermuda line but is not self aware. in fact he protests that he does have positive rizz but look at this man. he has the energy of a dying victorian child trying to make it past this cold, cold winter. all you want to do is pat his head and coo at him to make him feel better he has no rizz. absolute negatives.

juyeon: again, completely and negatively rizzless since he’s in Bermuda line but like younghoon he is fully unaware. in a different way though. why you ask? because this man definitely has no idea what rizz is. look at his sweet little eyes and tell me he knows. that’s right. you can’t.

q: negative rizz. not as low as Bermuda line/seonghwa/soobin/etc. but still quite negative. the thing is no one ever tells him this or brings it up to his face because he’s dangerous. he may not know what rizz is but he does know what an insult is and if you say a word about his purported negative rizz levels you will not be heard from again. this is a warning.

sangyeon: has net positive rizz. it isn’t super high but given the fact that I've just said four of his members have some of the lowest rizz levels imaginable it’s relatively high in the realm of tbz. can’t really explain it but he gets this rizz from his hot tired uncle energy that no one is immune to. have you seen him with his nephews? don’t argue with me.

(at this point chip told me to stop making rizz comments bc their stomach hurt. I did not stop)

kevin: rizz levels -1. not quite negative infinity. in fact pretty far from it. still negative though and he’ll never recover from that. I'd say that I'm sorry but I'm really not no matter how much this man works out I will never be able to stop laughing at him to his face (in best friend fashion). love you kev

new: negative. not horrifically so like Bermuda line but still more negative than kev. you may be thinking what the fuck lina new has so much rizz wdym? you’re wrong. he doesn’t have rizz and he doesn’t care. his lack of care gives the illusion that he actually has positive rizz but he does not. do not be fooled

haknyeon: POSITIVE RIZZ. do not question the positive rizz of tangerine boy ju haknyeon. it may not be positive infinity but I do say he’s around +50ish and given the patheticness that surrounds him that’s pretty fucking good I’d say. so much rizz. so much true rizz. I love him

sunwoo: the most negative fucking rizz ever except he’s convinced it’s positive. see without this unfounded conviction his rizz would just be somewhere around -50 and he’d be fine because Bermuda line exists but nooooo he decided to ruin it by being overly confident in his rizz powers so now he’s at negative infinity and one. sucks to suck.

jacob: (chip came up with this one) he has beomgyu and jangjun levels of rizz so like rizz off the charts but while a lot of it was converted into weirdness some of it stayed rizz so. hm. a tamer version of jangjun if you will. however beware because his rizz is once again increasing since he stopped playing league. watch out.

eric: negative rizz. same boat as sunwoo. their rizz magnitudes are the exact same and in the same direction (negative obviously) but it’s in a slightly different manner. both have unfounded confidence in their imaginary positive rizz levels but eric’s is in the manner of a teacher’s pet who thinks they’re popular while sunwoo is just plain mad

HONORARY MENTIONS.

jangjun (golden child): positive rizz and it’s terrible. I can’t tell you what the number is (it’s +69,420) but it’s really fucking high and I hate it. most of his rizz has been compressed and converted like hoshi’s to something resembling insanity but unlike hoshi there is a dangerous amount left. beware this man

daeyeol (golden child): +5 rizz. he’s handsome and reliable and if we got married I would be able to trust him to get things done. similar to sangyeon in that he’s got hot tired uncle energy but he’s also pathetic so he only gets five rizz points

mark (nct): negative rizz if I've ever seen one, but missing the negative infinity rizz by one point. I just need him differentiated from soobin and jisung and the other pathetic ones. mark is pathetic but I give him one point out of pity

beomhan (??): I don’t know anything about this guy except that he can’t cook and has high cholesterol problems from eating too many eggs but he’s in the same group as jangjun and co

keeho (p1h): I also don’t know anything about this guy except what chip has told me but I think he’s similar to chanhee and chip thinks he’s on sunwoo’s level. do with this information what you will

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