#seeing eddie with chris like that...

[sadgayeddie]

[boasamishipper]

unpopular opinion but i think a ship that's not canon but both halves are canonically insane about each other is infinitely better than a ship that's canon and boring

[softestbuckley]

manifesting more domestic moments between buck and eddie in 8B after christoper comes back but with the added layer of mutual pining and ridiculous longing gazes because they're aware of their feelings for the other but they still haven't confessed because they're afraid of ruining what they have

[chronicowboy]

eddie gets stopped on the street one time by a tiktoker with a microphone and they ask him "who's the hottest man alive?" and eddie's all i'm straight sorry and the tiktoker is like so? and eddie goes 😊 oh okay 😊 my best friend buck 😊 and then walks away with a little skip in his step

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Eddie Diaz - owner not only of a cute frog sponge holder in the kitchen, but also of a of kitsch cowboy boot toilet brush holder!!!

Oh how I adore thee!!!

[butchdiaz]

i hope his house is haunted. so badly. i hope the lights flicker and the doors slam in the middle of the night and there are literal ghosts in the corner of his bedroom and he literally doesn't blink an eye. the pertually cursed and haunted man who doesn't believe in ghosts or curses. this is just another tuesday for him.

[wolvesofinnistrad]

Bucktommy never beating the "double income no kids gay uncles" allegations

[adhdevankinard]

Perhaps a hot take but I would actually prefer if Eddie’s story ended at S8 with him deciding to prioritize his son and stay in El Paso. It would be even better if Eddie wants to return to LA but decides, again, that Christopher is more important than his own wants and ultimately stays in Texas with him. And because I��m so ✨media literate✨ I think that would be a satisfying conclusion to Eddie’s character arc, which has always revolved around Christopher.

And if I’m being real, Eddie’s SLs have stagnated. The most interesting and satisfying one he has had recently has been when he was in El Paso reconnecting with Christopher. I would rather he go out on a SL like that rather than rehash the same SLs for another season.

And it would leave the door open for Ravi to finally be a main. If the show really does need a shot in the arm (as TM has implied it does after Bobby’s death), making Ravi a main would be a smart move. While Ravi is not a new character, we still don’t know a lot about him, and that creates so so many new story opportunities that are just not possible with the other mains who we’ve been watching for the past 8 seasons and are now more or less “stuck” in their arcs. And the audience already knows him so he wouldn’t be a completely new character that they would have to adjust to being on the team (and potentially not like). And he can take on the Single Guy Role that would be left open by Eddie leaving and Buck settling down.

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Ok well i had the brief thought “what about an ER nurse Eddie au?” and then this popped fully formed into existence so fuck it Friday pt 2.. warnings for smoking and vague references to critically injured kids

“That doesn’t seem very healthy.”

Smoke curls up from the cigarette held loosely in Eddie’s hand. “It’s not, particularly.”

Buck’s hands are in his pockets as he strolls away from the glass doors out into the ambulance bay where Eddie is doing the mature, professional equivalent of playing hide and seek. He comes to a stop barely a foot or two away from where Eddie leans against grimy concrete. “Didn’t know you were a smoker.”

“I’m not,” Eddie sighs, “Particularly.” He looks over Buck’s face as he takes a drag, cataloging bruises and cuts. He hadn’t been the one to look him over before he was discharged, probably because he was out here avoiding having to do so. “Only when it’s- only after the bad shifts.” And only once a month, even if the bad shifts come again and again. He bought this pack in January, it’s stale as shit.

Buck’s eyes follow the smoke as it drifts skyward. “Rough one today?”

Eddie thinks he probably doesn’t have to explain to Buck that it’s sometimes better when a kid is dead on arrival so he doesn’t have to try his best to administer care he knows will be useless. He doesn’t have to explain a day where nothing goes right and he loses more people than he can save and he still has to walk away from someone’s parent or wife or sister, left behind forever in a waiting room on the worst day of their life, and go on to lose the next person too. Doesn’t have to explain why he’s out here, and not in there. “Mm. We’ve got this repeat customer, always hate to have him back.”

Buck’s eyes flick to his face before they settle somewhere around his elbow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. He seems like a nice guy. I worry about him. He’s here too often.”

Buck doesn’t look up. “What was he in for this time?”

“Minor concussion. Bruising. Lacerations.” Eddie sucks cancer into his lungs. “Heard a house fell on him.” Exhales it into the night.

Buck does look up this time, eyes a darker blue out here in the shadows. “Part of a house. Just a staircase and the- like, the balcony, really.”

“Maybe he should stay away from those.”

“From houses?” Buck asks, half his mouth twitching into a smile.

Eddie rests his head on the wall behind him. “Guess that’s not really practical.”

“No.” Buck is quiet for a moment, one hand slipping out of his pocket and running through his hair. Eddie wonders what he looks like, when he’s not here. He’s more styled, sometimes, when things aren’t very bad. He wonders if he’s usually all gelled up and neat. Eddie kind of likes the loose curls. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Making your day worse.” Buck looks genuinely apologetic, and Eddie shakes his head.

“The guy made it out okay this time.” Buck is just close enough that Eddie can kick at his boot with his sensible orthopedic sneaker. “You didn’t even need stitches.”

“That’s good.” Eddie’s left foot is pressed along the inside of Buck’s right, and Buck is staring down at them. “His favorite nurse was on break. I would have missed you if someone else had to do them.”

Eddie laughs, just a few bursts of soundless oxygen. “You gotta find new ways to see me before something happens that I can’t fix.”

Buck moves, taking the few steps necessary to lean against the wall beside him. Carefully, he takes the cigarette from Eddie’s hand, holds it between two of his own fingers, and takes a drag. Eddie watches it happen like he’s monitoring somebody’s pulse ox, and when Buck coughs he laughs again, louder this time. “Fuck,” Buck says, laughing too. “Thought that would be cooler than it was.”

“Smoking isn’t cool, firefighter Buckley,” Eddie says, taking the cigarette back and pulling from it again between smiling lips.

“Hm,” Buck says, grinning out into the night. Then he sighs, and rolls his head along the concrete to look at Eddie. “I think there’s nothing you can’t fix.”

They’re very close. “There’s lots I can’t fix.”

Buck shrugs like he disagrees. “I also think I’d like to find other ways to see you.”

Buck’s eyes are even more in shadow at this angle, and they’re the color of the lake back in El Paso that he and a bunch of kids went to after graduation, drunk off beer somebody’s cousin got for them, skinny dipping with breathless terrified delight under bright constellations. “Then ask me.”

Buck inhales as Eddie exhales. “What time’s your shift end?”

“5:30 AM. So, probably 6:15.”

Buck traces the two fingers he’d used to hold the cigarette down Eddie’s arm. “You wanna get breakfast with me?”

“Yes. I would.”

Buck smiles, and Eddie snubs out the cigarette on the wall between them. “I’ll meet you here?”

“Alright.” He takes a step forward, then a step to the right so he’s standing in front of Buck. “Two hours.”

“Uh huh.”

He should really get back inside. They’re understaffed, as always, and there are too many patients, as always, and not enough beds, as always. “See you then.” He doesn’t make any move to leave.

“See you then,” Buck almost whispers. He leans forward, and Eddie still doesn’t move, so he presses a tiny kiss to the corner of his mouth for just a moment. His lips are warm. Eddie hadn’t noticed it was cold outside.

Buck pulls back and leans against the wall again. Eddie smiles, puts a hand in his pocket, and walks back toward the doors.

[mybrainshyperfixtations]

okay so i just finished 315 (eddie begins) and yes i sobbed. i knew what was coming i still cried anyways.

also can we talk about how buck was in over half of eddie’s flashbacks when he was drowning. the writers were so setting up for buddie to be canon are you kidding me. speculations for possible s4 buddie canon before network shot it down seem very real

[sadgayeddie]

Eddie Diaz. Army vet, came from Texas, joined the 118 right before the big earthquake. Angry guy. Hey, you'd be angry, too, if you lost your kid. I mean, you'd have to stop being a kid first and then have one but… Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean "lost"? What happened to Christopher? His grandparents took him to Texas. After a nasty custody battle. They said Diaz was unfit. That he couldn't be a firefighter and a single dad.

[eddiesgmcsierra1500denali]

May I ask you to play in a (sad) sandbox with me for a moment? (This is long forgive me but my Eddie feelings spilleth over)

These 3 lines have rattled around in my head for years, bouncing off each other like they belong together, in conversation with each other. And I think they're finally coming into focus:

...prove to me something is real and I’ll believe it. ...maybe she thought she was missing out on a life she could have had. if she'd been born someone else or made different choices? ever wonder about that? (Not really...) 

...of the things that make you sad, am I one of them?

...being his dad has been the single greatest joy of my life. And that little boy has taught me more about being a man than war ever did.

We know that one of, if not THE, fundamental laws of Eddie Diaz's universe is how much he genuinely loves being a father and his devotion to Christopher. How he has actively, consciously worked to be the parent he didn't have. And he does it joyfully!

And.

Eddie was parentified by age 10. He became a parent at 19. And then he went to war. Far too young, and setting his life on a trajectory, no turning back. I think Eddie has an existential inner conflict about his sense of self, who he is, his happiness. There's part of him that does wonder about "the life he could have had, if he...made different choices." But, if he let's himself consider what could have been, he believes it would require him to want a life where Christopher was never born. Which is anathema to him! Truly, unequivocally! So he simply does not let himself wonder or examine or question. 

It's like he's set up in his own mind this dichotomy: he can only ever choose Christopher or himself. Which is no choice at all. Because he will always have Christopher. Eddie's anguished face when Chris said "of the things that make you sad, am I one of them?" has always felt way more complex than Eddie would let us believe. 

Again, I'm not saying that the narrative believes this. I think Eddie believes this. And that's the journey he's on, the reckoning that's coming. The "making peace with his demons and finding self love." Because he doesn't have to choose!!! In fact, Christopher needs Eddie to choose himself! Now, the father Christopher needs is one who loves his full self, who is able to give Chris his full emotional truth — the joy and the pain and the grief (and the queerness) all of it. (The child's birthday party decorations, Eddie clinging to a time when he could be the father Christopher needed without this reckoning.) Christopher has always been Eddie's inspiration and motivation for growth and healing. And he is once again.

I know most people don't get Eddie and aren't able to engage with the complexities. But we can! And this is such a tender topic I tread carefully. But it's where Eddie and Chris are taking us, so let's talk about it?

ok i have been turning this over and over in my head for days (sorry) … But yes. you are so right. i think this is the exact thing that’s difficult to balance with eddie because his parentification is so tied up with his actual parenthood (and marriage… and everything else) that untangling all of that runs the risk of. like. pulling up things he not only isn’t supposed to feel and doesn’t WANT to feel, selfish stuff like desire and wanting to be a kid. like he genuinely doesn’t think he can have any of this… eddieeeee 😭😭😭

[buddiex911]

I do like the idea of a buck nde while eddie is in texas for the drama but I also need to see eddie let himself feel the full weight of buck’s life hanging in the balance without chris around to be strong for. I think it’s the only time he’ll let himself fully sink into the pain and grief because he doesn’t have anyone counting on him not to and I think that might be the thing that finally pushes him over the edge of why does this hurt so much (why does this hurt just as much as even more than shannon)

[mlmarint]

not me actually thinking eddie was REALLY JUST dreaming

like i was absolutely SHOCKED when marisol and chris walked in. I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE THE EPISODE TO PROCESS THAT SCENE LIKE AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION THAT HAPPENED????

not even for a SECOND i thought kim would could actually change her hair and pretend to be like what??? a ghost of a mans dead wife,????she met him like a week ago??

the level of insanity that this plot is like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

this is it

this might be the end of my eddie apologist era

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Something something about Eddie learning Buck will be there for him off the job, even without Chris being in the equation.

Something something about that being an important realisation for him to finally make because he’s always hidden behind his son when it comes to Buck (and his love life more generally - even Shannon in reality was for Chris not himself) but he won’t be able to this time.

Something something about that realisation being the key to giving himself permission to examine his heart and feel his true feelings.

[chronicowboy]

buck and eddie are ❌NOT❌ golfers, they're the least golfy men i have ever laid eyes upon - this is an issue i am incredibly passionate about and have been since 6x17 love is in the air, do not try to change my mind, it won't work. however, there is a way they could fix both of these issues in one fell swoop. so. buck goes golfing with gerard as part of the 118's meticulously hatched plan to get him not only out of their station but the lafd for good. buck is the obvious candidate, he's a cis white man who, in gerard's head, is half straight and that's all they've really got to work with. the problem? buck is truly and terrifically terrible at golf. clearly he'll need some tutoring in order for their plan to work. and buck's like "hey, eddie, you golf right?" so cut to the driving range, a cheesy sports film montage of eddie demonstrating how to swing and buck failing miserably, he looks a little flushed and maybe a bit distracted - wonder what that's about. anyway, sun begins to fade, we're going real campy humour, we break out of the montage and eddie goes to get another basketful of balls for buck to hit. he watches buck practice his swing and shakes his head. "alright, cowboy, this clearly isn't working". no shit. "maybe you should just go instead, show up with your half swedish side". eddie's not giving up though. he gets a little flushed and awkward and shuffles up to buck, scratching at the back of his neck. "it, uh, might be, um, easier? if i could... could i, you know, put my arms around you?" buck's mouth drops open in a little o, he doesn't say anything as he turns pink as the sunset behind them. "sorry, i made it weird, didn't i? forget-" "NO!" buck winces a little at his outburst. "i mean, uh, no, y-you didn't make it weird, that might actually work" so with the face of a man about to be sent off to war, eddie positions himself behind buck and wraps his arms around him, adjusts his grip on the club and leads buck through the motions of a good swing. everything's suddenly very tense and taut. they hit the ball, it's worse than any of buck's previous hits. it lands in the netting and only just rolls over the edge. there's an "ow - what the hell" from below. they freeze, buck begins to shake with silent laughter, eddie cracks slowly, then they're both giggling, trying and failing to muffle it, eddie buries his face in buck's shoulder and laughs, buck suddenly goes quiet, but he's still smiling. "if i knew all i had to do to make you laugh was be piss poor at golf, i'd have tried this the day after chris-" "hey, at least you haven't broken my ankle yet" "it was just a sprain" buck mumbles, eddie grins. "let's try again" they swing together once more, the ball goes soaring. buck whoops and does a dorky little victory dance and eddie looks at him, bathed in the light of the sunset, and oh, he's the most beautiful thing eddie's ever seen. buck runs back over "eddie, we've gotta go again, c'mon, c'mon" eddie breaks out of his trance "yeah, gotta learn to do it by yourself. i don't think gerard would appreciate you showing up with me on your back like a koala" and scene.