#self-hatred to self-acceptance arc (for both of them in different ways)

[blueish-bird]

(Chainsaw Man Spoilers)

AU where Aki survives Part 1 and now not only has to deal with the existential horrors of his new state of being but is also incredibly allergic to dogs, so he lives in the apartment next door to Denji, Nayuta, and their dozen-or-so huskies. (He’s not as allergic to cats, but Meowy likes Denji more than him.)

[genericnam]

Why, out of GF, Amphibia, and TOH, only Luz didn't have to leave her new world behind:

I've seen people complain about Amphibia and to a lesser extent, Gravity Falls, for having their series end with a goodbye; the main characters having to leave their found families and this world they've grown to love and return to regular life. But the thing is, the three shows all have MASSIVELY different morals, that each fit in with how the goodbyes (or lack thereof) work into the finales.

Gravity Falls has a large theme of temporary goodbyes and reconciling. Stan and Ford being the primary example. But there are others: Soos and Melony, Wendy and Robbie, even Dipper and Mabel to an extent. The show builds upon this with Gravity Falls being a VACATION, they aren't trapped there, they could theoretically go home at any time. Episodes such as Summerween and Dipper and Mabel Vs. The Future also build on the tone, telling that it's okay to both grow up and move on, but you don't have to leave behind what you once loved in doing so.

The final conflicts (Wierdmaggedon) are caused because of characters not being able to let go. Stan couldn't let go of Ford, Mabel couldn't let go of Gravity Falls, Gideon couldn't let go of Mabel.

Gravity Falls teaches the viewer that even if you love something, you have to let it go, and eventually it will return. In the words of Bill Cipher: "We'l meet again. Don't know where, don't know when. I just knew we'll meet again, some sunny day."

Amphibia has a similar theme of Gravity Falls, but it takes it further. Amphibia tells you that if you don't let go, sometimes things will only get worse. The primary example for this is the show's catalyst event: Marcy getting Anne to steal the Music Box. Marcy chose to go to Amphibia, rather than move away, and she dragged her friends into it with her. Instead of having a long distance friendship with Sasha and Anne, she took them to an alternate dimension in order to spend eternity on a massive adventure, and it got her killed. Marcy and Anne died and Sasha tried to kill herself.

And that's only Marcy. Sasha was a control freak that bordered on yandere at the height of her villain arc. Sasha couldn't accept that Anne was beginning to move on from the toxic friendship that the Calamity Trio had locked themselves into.

The trio were horrible to eachother, pre-character arcs, and they needed to focus on self improvement before they could even hope to be good friends. In the time between 'All In' and the epilog, the Calamity Trio would not have actually been able to be good for eachtoher. They say they forgive eachother, but that was forgiveness given during a WAR. Post show, the real feelings would start to bubble up. Anne's resentment for the betrayals, Marcy’s abandonment issues, Sasha's definite self hatred. The trio HAD to split up to have any semblance of a friendship.

Amphibia tells its audience that not all good things can last, and if you obsess and force it to stay, it can destroy you.

The Owl House has a completely opposite moral. It tells you to find your people, and fight for them.

Luz lived in the Human Realm, but it was never her home. Her home was with Camila and Manny, but when Manny died, Camila and Luz's relationship began to falter. That world wasn't her home. When Luz found the Boiling Isles, she was always supposed to be able to leave. This wasn't a summer trip she didn't want at first, or a one way portal. The Boiling Isles was HER choice.

Luz picked Bonesburrow. Luz picked Hexside. Luz picked The Owl House. Her home was always meant to be The Boiling Isles. She only started trying to find a way back to Earth because the choice was taken from her. Luz no longer had the choice to go back to the Human Realm. In fact, the only time Luz chose Humans over Isles was when she was PUNISHING herself for helping Belos.

Luz got to stay in the Boiling Isles because TOH tells its audience that where you start isn't where you should always stay. Find your place and find your people. And when you do, hold it dear and never let go. "Us weirdos have to stick together."

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

[vampzzz64]

Mob is most likely a blood player because of how important the people in his life are to him. He represses his emotions and psychic abilities because he is afraid of hurting Ritsu again and because Tsubomi became bored of him. No matter what he always thinks of others before himself, so much so that he literally will not fight back. Only when he is in his ??? does he become the aggressor. Even then he struggles against himself and begs those around him to hurt him so that he can stop hurting them. He is extremely trusting and caring. He sees the good in those around him and actively tries to release that goodness. During his fight with Teru he does not fight back and gives Teru advice. He tries to help Teru before he helps himself. He guides and he leads. He gives his abilities to Reigen briefly because of how much he respects, trusts, and believes in his master. He would do anything to protect the people he loves. Shigeo is selfless. He would sooner let himself bleed than anyone else.

Similarly to Roxy, a rogue, he harnesses his aspect and gives it to others. However, similarly to John, an heir, he has immense power that he gains through his aspect. Shigeo puts his all into remaining passive and in a sense “good”, and in extension into his aspect. Shigeo is a blood player that embodies his aspect.

Ritsu is a void player because of how often he is overlooked and perceives himself to be less than Shigeo. No matter how grand his own achievements are, they’re nothing compared to what Shigeo can do. He is constantly mistaken for his much stronger brother. He thinks he exists only as mob’s underwhelming little brother. Ritsu somewhat resents Shigeo for having psychic abilities when he doesn’t. He wants the one thing he can’t have more than anything in the world. He hates the emptiness that is his life. He tries to fill the void by studying, playing in sports, joining the student council, etc. He’s like a black hole in that way, mindlessly consuming but never able to be satisfied.

Similarly to Eridan, a prince, Ritsu aims to destroy his aspect with a deep hatred towards it. Once he unlocks his psychic powers, he immediately gets a massive ego. Being self centered is seen in princes. Both Dirk and Eridan think the entire world revolves around them, albeit in different ways. Ritsu is a destroyer class and Mob is a passive class. They couldn’t be further apart from one another. Throughout his arc, Ritsu realizes that he is no better than anyone else because of what he has. He learns to accept being “ordinary”. He moves from despising his aspect to learning to accept it. Initially a destroyer, he ends a “normal” boy. (I say “normal” because he’s literally an esper,,,). Ritsu is a void player that seeks to destroy his aspect.

[eroguron0nsense]

Marineford is basically just the really ambitious dark what-if bad ending for Water Seven/Enies Lobby (ONE PIECE SPOILERS)

Let's review: you've got two victims imprisoned and awaiting execution for supposed crimes against the world government. Their supposed offences are inextricably tied to the nature of their existence through absolutely no fault of their own. Neither of them think they particularly deserve to be alive and are horrified that the people they love–whose lives they value way more than their own–are facing near certain death to rescue them. Like, to the extent they're both begging to be abandoned and left for dead as they're chained up and helpless, watching good people struggling and falling one by one in the struggle to save them and the situation getting more and more dire. Both have a moment where they have a breakthrough and express that in spite of all their trauma and suicidal self hatred, they want to live and seek joy and meaning with Luffy and their respective crews as it becomes evident that their loved ones will take on the world to get them out.

The difference is just that in Water Seven, you have dozens of really hype moments and everything is cathartic and saving Robin is arguably the greatest moment of triumph in the series. Everyone you think might die gets saved by deus ex machinas (Sodom and Gomorrah, the Franky family, the Straw Hats themselves). In Marineford, we get to watch Ace's friends die in front of him and we watch him scream as the Whitebeards suffer for him; Oars is kind of a perfect microcosm of this who literally has his body trampled over in the effort to rescue him. The brief moment of catharsis you get when he's almost rescued gets shattered with his murder, and then we end on a desperate rush to get Luffy out alive because he's so exhausted and traumatized he can't fight any more. It's one of the biggest downer endings to any arc in fiction and it's made doubly so by all the parallels we've seen in which the Straw Hats are rewarded for their boundless love for each other and their fellow man, their "all for one, one for all" ethos that underscores the entire series, and their willingness to throw themselves against any enemy–and quite literally take on the world– for their friends in the face of horrible injustice against them.

And instead of "I want to live" we get this kinda subtly dark ending for his character because as beautiful as him dying for Luffy and the whole "thank you for loving me" speech is, it reaffirms that as much as Ace has found meaning in his existence, he'll never get to go through Robin's (ongoing) journey of self acceptance. He'll never realize that his friends love him for who he is and not in spite of it. He does't get to grow past the last of the trauma and self hatred and survivor's guilt holding him back as a person, or meet Rayleigh in the postwar and learn things about his parents and the real history of the world that could have given him the catharsis he always needed, or just that he has immense value and brings as much joy to the people he's devoted his life to as they do to him. His final words just make it really clear that as much as he wishes he could keep living with his friends and family, he still cannot fathom the concept that he personally was worth saving or sacrifice at all.

[rnsk-kousatsu]

"Becoming as One" and the Themes of Harmony in Digimon Survive

Overanalyzing Aoi and Shuuji again, because this is my new hobby ever since I played Survive.

They share many parallels, both obvious and subtle, that I feel are often overlooked. One of the lesser-discussed similarities is how their corruption arcs culminate in “bio-merging” with their respective partnermon, a process where the human and partnermon become a single entity. Since both characters are Harmony-aligned, I believe it’s worth exploring how these instances of bio-merging relate to and represent the themes of Harmony. More under the cut.

TWs: discussions of self-loathing and suicidal thoughts

Given that the partnermons are meant to reflect their human partner’s true self, I find it somewhat ironic that in two out of the three instances of bio-merging in Survive, the result paradoxically embodies a loss of self. While it makes sense when you consider the Harmony kids’ common thread of seeking conformity, one might expect that merging with one’s true self would lead to the realization of true selfhood. Instead, these unifications become vehicles of self-erasure, where the former self is submerged by a new identity, as they are represented as dark evolutions that occur when the ideals of Harmony are taken to an extreme.

To get what I mean, let’s consider Kaito’s corruption arc. Symbolically, Kaito letting go of Dracumon by fusing Vamdemon (Dracumon) with Piemon can be seen as him discarding his conscience to further his selfish desires without any regard for others. This makes sense to most of us easily, because we’re consistently shown how Dracumon acts as Kaito’s restraint throughout the story — his “moral compass”, if you will. Without Dracumon, there’s no one who can keep Kaito in check anymore. So, the “death” of Dracumon being the metaphor for Kaito going morally bankrupt feels pretty intuitive, at least to me personally.

In contrast, I didn't find the symbolism in Shuuji’s and Aoi’s corruption arcs—particularly their fusion with their partners—as immediately intuitive, for the reasons I’ve outlined earlier. However, after mulling over their arcs a bit more, I’ve come to the realization how both of them becoming one with their respective partner can actually carry multifaceted symbolism that may not be immediately apparent. Also, the different nuances in how the themes of Harmony manifest in their arcs mean that the symbolism works a bit differently in each of their arcs too. Let me explain.

First off, we’ll look at Shuuji and Lopmon. Shuuji’s arc revolves around his struggle with self-acceptance. Through his father’s relentless expectations, he’s always made to feel inadequate, and in turn it drives him to constantly force himself into an imaginary mold that he doesn’t fit into. He does this by repressing his true feelings while trying to live up to (what he believes to be) his father’s idea of a perfect self. His very apparent hatred of Lopmon is mostly meant to represent his self-loathing, among many other things — in a way, Lopmon serves as a reminder for Shuuji that he hasn’t truly changed into the person that his father wants him to be. This is why Shuuji keeps trying to force Lopmon to change as well, even if it means cruelly pushing him beyond his limits.

The outcome of Shuuji’s arc depends on whether he comes to recognize his mistaken beliefs. If he fails to do so, Lopmon evolves into Wendimon and devours him. As this post has already described, this scene serves as a metaphor for Shuuji succumbing to the self-hatred that has been eating away at him from within, leading to a complete loss of self. Because, in both a figurative and literal sense, no trace of Shuuji’s former, “true” self remains—just as there’s nothing left of the Lopmon we once knew in Wendimon.

Most people believe that this is the moment where Shuuji finally dies, but I think that isn’t the case. In Survive, the lore states that a partnermon dies the moment their human dies. However, Wendimon doesn’t die right after he completely consumes Shuuji, and instead, he gains the ability to speak. Make of this what you will, but in my opinion, this gives a clue that Wendimon being alive after consuming Shuuji isn’t merely a narrative convenience to keep him around for the fight, and that Shuuji has actually been absorbed into Wendimon. In other words, Shuuji and Lopmon are finally unified in their suffering as Wendimon, with Wendimon’s monstrous form serving as a visual manifestation of both Shuuji and Lopmon’s new identity, warped beyond recognition even to themselves.

If you pay close attention to Wendimon’s speech, you’ll notice that he actually speaks with two voices — both Shuuji’s and Lopmon’s. It can be hard to tell since the voices are heavily filtered, but Shuuji’s voice has a slightly deeper pitch than Lopmon. Even if you can’t tell, the story hints at this detail by showing how the other kids and partnermons can distinguish between the voices when Wendimon speaks.

“IT HURRRTS… I’M SCAAARED… I DON’T WANNA DO THIIIS…” “WHAT’S… WRONG WITH ME? WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE…?”

I bring this up because it’s intriguing how Wendimon speaks in dual voices despite supposedly being a single entity. It’s as if the story is trying to convey that, even in their merged state, Shuuji and Lopmon aren’t truly reconciled — and it’s because Shuuji hasn’t silenced the part of himself that continues to question and doubt. To understand this, notice how Wendimon wails about two entirely different things: in Lopmon’s voice, he cries about how he doesn’t want to do any of this anymore, how he’s scared of this and how it hurts. Meanwhile, in Shuuji’s voice, he rants about not knowing what he should have done to make others happy (but especially to please his father, as I believe his words are primarily directed at his father) and wonders if it’s better for him to disappear if his existence is a nuisance to other people. While Lopmon continuously voices Shuuji’s true feelings that he buries deep inside, Shuuji himself remains fixated on seeking external validation and is concerned about what others think of him even at the expense of his own well-being.

To understand why Wendimon having dual voices is relevant to this discussion in the first place, let’s now turn our attention to Aoi and Labramon. Aoi’s character arc revolves around her desire for authority and proactiveness, which she struggles with because her self-consciousness constantly holds her back from taking actions. This is largely why Aoi and Labramon’s dynamic is vastly different from Shuuji and Lopmon’s relationship, because while Aoi also represses the side of her that Labramon displays — whether subconsciously or not — Labramon’s outspokenness instead embodies the part of Aoi that she wishes she could express more freely but is suppressed by her insecurity.

When Aoi merges with Labramon, the situation is slightly different from Shuuji’s experience, though it carries its own tragic implications: in an effort to save Aoi, Labramon sacrifices her own “self” to become the new force that sustains Aoi’s life. Perhaps because it’s also fueled by Aoi’s overwhelming guilt and frustration over her perceived powerlessness, the act leads them to bio-merge and dark-evolve into Plutomon.

While not entirely analogous, I think it’s fair to make a comparison between Plutomon and Wendimon. The game itself does this as well: upon seeing Aoi becomes Plutomon and kills Piemon, Kaito instantly makes a remark of Aoi becoming like Shuuji. In English, the line is worded as:

“Don’t tell me this is like with Shuuji… When he turned all evil!?”

However, in Japanese, the line is:

“まさか……シュウジのように……暗黒進化か！？” “Don’t tell me… she’s become like Shuuji… is it a dark evolution!?”

It’s interesting to me that Kaito immediately draws a parallel between her and Shuuji. And I have to emphasize that it’s specifically Shuuji, not Lopmon. I’m saying this because they all perceive Plutomon as Aoi instead of Labramon (the game emphasizes this too by having Plutomon’s name initially written as “Aoi?”), whereas we (as the players) tend to perceive Wendimon as Lopmon instead of Shuuji. See where I’m getting at here?

“Aoi, you say? No, I’ve cast off that weak persona.”

Now, unlike Wendimon, who retains both Shuuji’s and Lopmon’s voices, Plutomon speaks only with Aoi’s voice. One interpretation that we can draw is that, unlike Wendimon, the singular voice might represent Aoi and Labramon reaching a true level of mutual understanding and harmony where they don’t have to speak over each other in order to be heard. But I think there’s more to it: given that Labramon is consistently depicted in the story as voicing Aoi’s inner thoughts that she keeps holding back from expressing, I think this is meant to also symbolize her internal resolution where she no longer has the need to externalize her inner thoughts through Labramon, as she now fully embodies those thoughts herself. This might seem empowering at first, seeing how her newfound confidence seems to have conquered her lingering self-doubt that used to haunt her. However, on the other hand, the loss of Labramon’s separate voice means that Aoi has lost an external perspective. The implication is that Aoi is now entirely self-reliant, with no external check on her thoughts or actions. In other words, Aoi has lost the ability to see herself from an outside perspective that used to keep her grounded and connected to the world outside herself.

“Labramon agrees, from deep down inside me.”

(I put the screenshot above because I find it interesting — I think the fact that Aoi speaks on behalf of Labramon, rather than letting Labramon speak for herself, further supports the interpretation of Aoi having absorbed Labramon’s voice into her own, leaving no room for external input anymore.)

This ultimately leads Aoi to form a singular belief system, one that’s entirely shaped by her internal convictions. And it drives her into a dangerously inflexible mindset where any form of disagreement or differing perspective is perceived as a threat to her newly discovered harmony. In her mind now, the only way to ensure peace and unity is to eliminate the possibility of conflict altogether by merging everyone with their partnermon, creating a single, unified consciousness. And Aoi is absolutely resolute in this, because she has now isolated herself in her certainty by silencing other voices, becoming rigid and intolerant of any challenge to her worldview — one rooted in a distorted sense of harmony that results in a situation where disagreement is eradicated, not resolved.

Some of you might find it ironic that, despite supposedly embodying the corruption of harmony, Aoi (as Plutomon) seems to act more on her own selfish ideals rather than striving for true consensus, even if flawed. However, this makes sense when you contrast her motivation with Shuuji’s: while Shuuji is driven by external pressures and doesn’t necessarily “enjoy” conforming to others’ expectations, Aoi’s actions stem purely from her own self-imposed ideals. Aoi genuinely values social propriety and seeks to uphold it (as @digisurvive puts it, she’s the reason why the group is very hierarchical — she always makes sure that everyone follows the rules of conduct properly), so it’s natural that the themes of Harmony would manifest this way in her corruption arc. So, while Shuuji being absorbed into Wendimon through devouring represents the ultimate death of self, Aoi’s bio-merging with Labramon into Plutomon instead gives her an epiphany of her ideal version of “Harmony”—one she feels compelled to enforce on everyone.

[penguinkyun]

chapter 150 review

*laughs* oh this chapter. this is the day ive been waiting for since 123 dropped last year. folks its finally over. but before that lets review: augh aqua looks so tiny in the first panel....standing with bloodsoaked pants. man. he can't ever escape that hallway huh. him and goro being stuck in that same hallway from over ten years ago, still drenched in blood is so....auhg. i am so happy we're finally getting back into aquas head after *checks notes* 31 chapters of no longer being in his head! and i really love the conversation between the two of them too! it establishes a lot of what i've been thinking of how aqua views his reincarnation vs how ruby views it i.e. she is continuing her life as sarina unbroken but aqua....is a wholly different person! a year is enough time to change a person let alone almost twenty years! and how goro refers to himself as a faint wound is also quite interesting because as we've seen in c.65 and c.95, goro is used almost exclusively as aqua's vehicle of self hatred, constantly telling him he has no right to be happy or that he deserves to live unless ai's murderer is dead (put a pin in that point). goro is wound that aqua has not allowed to heal and it festers until he does. AND FINALLY. WE ARE FREE. we've never really seen aqua's viewpoint of the whole Incest Debacle apart from the very very uncomfortable faces he makes when ruby is chasing after him and that's because the very instant we get back into aqua's head he instantly shuts down any notion of it ever happening. it really is just ruby seeing the illusion of goro amamiya in him and aqua is no longer that person. anyways speaking of c.95, goro giving up here is very....eh. sure seeing sarina happy must've triggered some rethinking because she was also a major part of his guilt but. its always been centred around ai! ai's murder is the reason goro can't let go, because he was never able to fulfill his promise to protect her. avenging ai is always the driving force of whenever we see phantoms of goro in aquas head! honestly this is part of like. the story largely removing ai as a driving force in the twins lives - from decentering her involvement in their reincarnation to excising her from goro and aqua's central motivation for vengeance. but as i say that, goro has always been a vehicle for aqua's self hatred when it comes to his revenge. he is exclusively shown as a restraint on aqua gaining any sort of happiness and all his self hatred given form. but the phantom that is actually his desire for revenge, pure and unfiltered is:

and we haven't seen aqua confront him yet have we? *laughs nervously* also goro acting like an elder brother to aqua and teasing him about his crush on kana is hilarious lmfao. and handing him the knife. ha. anyways kana is so funny here. girl does not acknowledge akane as her rival in any major sense. akane is crying somehwere in the background (for legal reasons this is a joke). anyways kana slowly working up the courage to finally confess to aqua is so beautiful because she has incredibly low self esteem and to see her hope in this? after reminiscing on all her moments with aqua is really sweet. honestly a lot of aqkn romantic moments feel overdramatic on kana's end but this was. just really sweet really. it reminds of the moment in sweet today where she just glances aqua's way before the camera comes on. actually this chapter itself gives me a lot of the early onk vibes in how its written which is quite different from the tone of the movie arc which swung between comedy and almost horror. i will say i like that both aqkn think of their more normal moments in between all the dramatic ones. and god that panel of kana. shes so beautiful. i am so scared. because there is no way aqua will accept, since she is still an idol, kamiki is somewhere in the background and. well baby aqua hasn't shown up yet has he?

either way the knife is in aqua's hands now. its his choice if he wants to turn it on himself or throw it away.

break next week!

[xviistrings]

I feel like fanning some flames today.... Why do you hate N_oto (a) I'm rly curious ,':^

i would like to answer this calmly and rationally. i would really like to. but i'm going to be angry (and will use they/them for naoto)

naoto is a shit character no matter what angle you view them from. a major aspect of their story is struggling with being taken seriously in their line of work because they are both a child and female; the gender aspect is especially relevant to naoto, since the child thing is kind of just a problem that solves itself........

naoto's gender is a widely debated topic among fans. some people see them as a trans man because of naoto's desire to be viewed as a man, some see them as a cis woman because that's just the conclusion they come to at the end, some see them as a trans woman because it feels like naoto is forcing themselves to go back in the closet but they can't fight their true feelings, some see them as nonbinary because they don't want to be a woman but they also show discomfort being a man....

yeah i've heard every single argument for every single kind of different gender identity naoto could have and i've concluded that no matter what angle you look at it from, naoto is still a shit character.

this isn't to invalidate anyones headcanons, idc do what you want forever, but naoto WAS meant to be written as a cis girl. but they did such a shit job at writing them as such that believing they're otherwise is so so understandable

naoto is apparently supposed to have internalized misogyny. we never even see a hint of that like we do with everyone else. we see chie be pushy about getting the mc's opinion on yukiko because of her jealousy towards her, we see yukiko being very gloomy when she's busy with the inn, etc i don't wanna list everything it's late rn

naoto's screen time is mostly spent on them just kinda. detectiving around. that's not bad and it's a very proper introduction, it's just that.......... there are scenes where naoto hangs around the entire investigation team, including the girls. if their hatred is so internalized to the point where its affected their outward appearance, is it that much of a stretch to say that they'd also project their hatred outwards?

like. yk. being rude to the girls and not accepting their input on discussions. that would've been an interesting trait to introduce to this supposedly respectable and polite smart detective guy. and later on, when we discover the source of that behaviour, it makes a lot more sense than it just suddenly being thrust on us.

plus, it would give them a flaw for them to overcome via apologizing to the girls and attempting to engage in femininity in a healthy and positive way. it doesn't have to be that long of an arc, i know there was very little time between naoto's dungeon and the namatame stuff, but it really could have been as simple as a scene or two of naoto bonding with the girls, changes to preexisting ones (COUGH COUGH BEAUTY PAGEANT), and then their social link deals with the rest.

like. dude.

i get what they were trying to go for, honestly, but i just wish they handled it better. if a lot of persona 4's jokes weren't outlandishly sexist and at the expense of the girls, maybe i could absolutely get on board with a lovely story about a girl recovering from a life of self hatred and insecurity and learning that she doesn't need to have a stick up her ass all the time, and that she has a whole group of friends that will accept her for who she is beyond gender, beyond age, beyond any other labels and the expectations placed on her because of them. that would be really really nice if we had that.

but we do not. i don't think naoto really feels like part of the friend group most of the time. it's kind of the same problem haru has where she's introduced very late and not given nearly enough time to develop before we get right into the final arc of the story. naoto helps with the investigations, sure, but otherwise naoto doesn't really get to be in too much of the team bonding moments. maybe that's an issue that gets fixed in golden? idk? i only played vanilla

the thing that really pisses me off about naoto is not just that they're underdeveloped; i love a lot of underdeveloped characters and i like exploring their potential. it's that the main element of naoto's story is handled so clumsily that it makes me wonder what the fuck they were trying to say in the first place!!!!

naoto doesn't want to pretend to be a man anymore and they want to be a woman. so here are several scenes of them being visibly uncomfortable when experiencing womanhood. naoto doesn't want to follow any gender norms and just wants to be themselves before a label. so let's have one of the flags for their romance route be a dialogue option saying you'd only like them if they were feminine. what are you doing guys

i'm rewriting naoto in my head all the time . i've seen a billion tboy naotos but i think i can do cis girl naoto justice. and i will do it because without this naoto will just piss me off forever and ever and ever. ugh

[keyslox]

c!Jack and E²!Jimmy are so. Real to me. Both want respect and recognition and authority of some kind. Very defensive and think maybe a bit *too* highly of themselves at times but really, overall, they just want company and friends and to be included.

Joel and Jimmy’s ‘rivalry’ reminds me a lot of Jack and Tommy’s rivalry. It’s a bit different (for very obvious reasons), and it’s kinda in reverse with how Joel and Jimmy become friends and Jack and Tommy fall out of their friendship. But they’re just. So different but hold themselves in very similar ways. Different situations entirely yet very reactive and *self aware that they’re being mistreated* yet unsure how to accurately express it so what they *do* do to solve the issue just makes it worse.

With the villain arc stuff- very similar reasons!! Jack wanted to be noticed and accepted/listened to by Tommy *(also wanted to kill him but-).* Jimmy wants respect, to be looked at as a human and NOT A TOY. They want love and companionship and friends and joy and good times and they’re not getting that and they just, know they deserve it. It’s why they both fight so hard.

GOD AND WITH THEIR DEATHS. Jack dying *so* much, Jimmy always dying first in Life Series. Jack unable to die completely and crawling himself out of hell, Jimmy being stuck in The Void (or spectating) when he does eventually die. Death is such an important characteristic for both of them..

Sitting and thinking about it for a moment it just- Jack and Jimmy both go to great lengths to try and put themselves on the same playing field as their counterparts.

They both seem like people pleasers who never get what the give? It waiting to get something before giving and just.. never getting anything so they give anyways.

Jimmy with how he gives free Gunpowder to the people who respect him and the Law, for example. It’s like he’s trying to bribe them to make sure they stay allianced with him. And how Jack, despite all his hatred and anger for Tommy, still goes and helps whenever he’s asked. Not even asked, actually! Whenever he knows that doing something would help Tommy in some way he’d do it.

They’re seem like the comedic outcasts. Jack obviously doesn’t get looked at seriously and neither does Jimmy. It’s why their villains arcs are so… faulty. No one takes them or their reasoning for snapping seriously.

[wibble-wobbegong]

kissing the writers on the mouth who decided to make lucas and eddie polar opposites in mike’s life and represent the two things he wants that directly contradict each other; normalcy and embracing himself

them choosing to make mike’s relationship with lucas a direct contrast to his relationship with eddie in what they represent is such an interesting and good writing choice. especially with the way they lined up lucas’ arc about realizing conformity isn’t a good thing at all and eddie’s death. both of those are going to have a direct impact on mike in ways that reverse the roles they had before

lucas, who mike desperately sought approval from in s3, copying his actions in order to perform a convincing level of heterosexuality, realizing that conforming to those types of standards hurts people? him developing a hatred for it because of what it led to for max and eddie? that will impact mike. mike looks up to lucas for his ability to be himself as well as ‘normal’, so lucas developing a hatred for conformity will simultaneously be taking out mike’s pillar of someone showing him how to be what everyone expects him to be. at the same time, it’ll be a massive relief for him to know that his other best friend (who he isn’t in love with) no longer believes in the idea that fitting into a box is the way to achieve happiness/security for yourself.

in contrast, eddie died. the first person to ever teach mike that he didn’t have to be what people thought he should be, whose style mike emulated in his hair and newfound black jeans with converse, who mike wanted to be like, is dead. that’s going to hit him even harder, at first. losing someone important to him for good (something that’s never really happened before) and having that person be the guy who was teaching mike how to accept himself and embrace his differences? it’s a direct hit to mike’s self acceptance journey, realizing that people like him and eddie would end up dead. there’s so many emotional layers to eddie’s death for mike, all of which are going to directly counteract the progress he had been making under eddie’s wing.

mike losing eddie and being affected by it at the beginning of the season is probably going to line up well with lucas opening up about his new opinions regarding conformity and popularity as a way to find happiness and safety towards the middle/end of the season. obviously those two concepts impact much more than mike, but they work incredibly well together as opposing forces in mike’s story. mike is going to be going through a lot next season, emotionally. he’s going to be running on empty in self worth and people he feels he can talk to about any of it. but, hopefully by the end, he’ll be closer to accepting himself and i think lucas is going to play a pretty big role in that.

[actualbird]

I'm a big fan of the ftm trans Luke hc and I wondered when you'd think he found out and when he actually transitioned?

Personally, I love the idea of Luke confiding in Rosa about his identity when they were teens and Rosa trying her best to help him by doing small things to help him affirm his gender. (Like give him a boyish haircut or something along those lines)

But I also really like the idea of Luke going undercover as a man for an NSB mission and suddenly realizing like "Wait a minute..."

hello hello!!! and wahhhh, im so glad you like my headcanon :DDD

trans!luke is especially dear to me because 50% because i myself projecting heavily onto him in this hc, and 50% because his canon arc of self hatred slowly changing and leading him to eventual self love and affirmation for his own joys is something i believe to also be a beautiful trans experience

i actually wrote a whole trans!luke fic on ao3 you can read it here, "but little do we know, the stars welcome him with open arms"

and in this fic, i wrote most of my fuller hcs on trans!luke. so here, wrote him finding out he was trans and transitioned while he was at university in central. so, he found out when he was away and also during a period of life which classically is one of individual self discovery. but he found out when he was away from mc, away from his closest friend and confidant. and he doesnt tell her. he doesnt tell her because shortly after, he gets caught up in the nsb and suddenly all the things he hasnt told her start piling up and up and up. and while i dont go into detail of how he found out, i put more focus on how he internalizes his transness as another one of those secrets to keep from her, but of course, he cant keep them forever, because he returns to stellis and meets her again, as who he is...

...and i wrote it this way because i wanted their reunion of "oh youre the you i know but different but still very much the you i know and love" i wanted mc to both re-meet luke pearce yet accept and recognize him as the luke pearce he is now

(recognize is in italics because recognition is a big theme in the fic. im explaining it badly but shdfvsdfdsfljb just read the fic, itll make more sense there i promise)

him finding out on a mission like that is so top tier though. i'd love to read a fic about luke, still an egg, being like "hey why does being undercover as a guy not only feel immensely natural but also like im finally being myself after years.............WAIT A SECOND" HVSDFLFSJD

thank you for the ask!

[aashi-heartfilia]

Who you are really? TogaChako's brand of Love

So, finally we have a confirmation of Ochako's feelings about Toga. Yes, she's saving her and yes it's gonna be good.

Honestly, TogaChako's development is the one I'm looking forward to the most, and I like it even more than Deku and Shigaraki cause unlike Deku who got his magical visions about a child crying inside etc, Ochako sees Toga for who she is. A person, who deserves to smile and it didn't happen instantly...

Ochako started out as a young student with a shallow motive, to a person who wants to save people to a hero who wants to save her fellow heroes to an ultimate hero who will save anyone in need.

Yes, Ochako loves seeing people happy and yes, Toga comes is that list. This is so dear to me because this is what MHA does the best, i.e. handle the emotional beats of the story.

Here, Toga goes through an existential crisis where she doubts if her love for her found family is genuine or not.

Ofc she loves Dabi and Shigaraki to bits. Lov us her family but she doesn't want to become them, completly.

Theoretically, she should be able to copy quirks as well like with the real Twice but she can't maybe because deep down she doesn't want that either.

She's not interested in this world domination thing, she just wants a world that is easier to live in but if she wants to live, she has to follow orders, she has to pick sides.

Toga lived a hard life because of her quirk and all she wanted was to be accepted for who she really is. She has very less self worth, so her quirk allows her to become the person she wants to; very literally.

So, I think what she feels deep down is dire admiration, born out of her own self hatred.

Bloodlust = self hatred

When she was little, she was always asked to be normal.

She was different but she was asked to be like everyone else, which made her hate herself unknowingly and served as a drive to become other people.

We know her first incident happened during middle school and everyone else reported how she was a very cheerful and social girl.

But very likely, her parents weren't that supportive calling her demon and taking her to quirk councelling sessions which made matters worse.

If she was satisfied with herself, maybe she wouldn't feel so blood thirsty. But this has never happened before cause the formula keeps repeating except for the Lov where she found true love and acceptance.

She had a connection with all members of Lov but with Twice it was different. She was devastated by his death and that actually made her question the ideology of the heroes.

Ochako is pretty similar. She wants to be like Deku because he's cool and all but she doesn't love him, at least not in that way.

What she has always felt was a deep admiration for her closest friend which is why people like Mina, mistook it for love.

Of course, you would love to keep stuff from your idol close to your heart and of course, you would want to become like them.

But admiration isn't the only thing that Ochako feels.

In the start, Ochako also had very less self worth. Coming from a lower class family, shallow reasons for becoming hero but as the series progressed , we see her develop not just as a person but as hero who is willing to save anyone in need.

She always thought that Deku was amazing but after the Deku Retrieval arc we see her acknowledge him as a normal person with a special power.

Deku is still her close friend but she's also her own person now.

And this is where the connection between Ochako and Toga comes from.

Ochako found a healthy environment to learn and grow while Toga was always rejected and neglected until she joined the league.

But the connection lies in their admiration as well

They both the admire the same person, Deku.

Not love but admire.

Because reasons. But Toga also loves Ochako, Stain, Izuku and even Twice?

It's very simple actually. You can admire a lot of people at the same time and want to become like them.

Toga just wants an easier world for herself to live in and just like Shigaraki and Dabi she wasn't a born villain.

But aspiring heroes like Ochako are brainwashed into thinking that villains are bad and heroes good. They don't have any problems and they just like to wreck havoc.

So, when Ochako's saw her tears, she realised that even the labelled villains that are seen as nothing but menace can have their own problems.

What makes her interesting is that she realises that things done by Toga are wrong and that they are way past the point of forgiveness.

But what made her do those terrible things?

What are the driving factors?

What drove her to insanity?

She's already thinking about all of this and we know that if there is something that she could do to put an end to this sad Girl's Parade, she'll definitely do that.

Ochako has already gotten past this and accepted herself for who she is and she needs Toga to do the same.

[haphazardlyannotated]

The Locked Tomb/Steven Universe Crossover

This crossover was inspired months ago by the random thought "Hey, Pearl would definitely want to be Rose's cavalier" and hasn't left me alone since. So here you go, niche audience of one! (It's me. I am the audience)

First of all, yes, Pearl has to be Rose's cavalier. Not only does it neatly align with Pearl's knightly devotion and the institutional power imbalance they're both trying to ignore, Pearl absolutely is the kind of person who would take "my not-wife refuses to kill me and eat my soul in order to attain immortality" as a terrible rejection.

She's so insane about Rose, she'd fit right in in this universe (pun not intended). Also, the cavalier-necromancer romance taboo works excellently for Pearlrose. For one, of course, the forbidden romance. Cav!Pearl confessing to necro!Rose that she's been dreaming about running away from the Houses together to live in domestic bliss on a nice moon somewhere has the exact same vibes as su!Pearl's confession in Now We're Only Falling Apart. But more importantly, cav!Pearl giving Rose's suitors a "You may have caught her eye, but I am her cavalier; she swore an oath to me; our fates are entwined till death do us part" speech only to go to her rooms and wallow in how the very position that ensures she'll be by Rose's side forever is what will forever keep her from pursuing her true feelings is too good.

Meanwhile Rose is in the next room going "Oh woe is me, for I am a cruel, selfish woman, to keep the love of my life from the glory she deserves! Alas, I can't bear to let her go, even though I know in my heart that her care for me is only the rightful, proper care of a cavalier for her necromancer! The least I owe her is not to take advantage of our pure, sacred bond, so I shall go and drown my sorrows in another fleeting affair!"

Writer's choice whether they miraculously manage to communicate before Rose gets herself killed in one way or another, but ironically the dystopian 50% character death rate tlt verse is much more likely to give them a second chance than pastel redemption arcs su, because Steven Universe is a story about healing from trauma with the power of a supportive network of loved ones while The Locked Tomb endorses attacking the cold unfeeling universe with teeth and fingernails until it returns your girlfriend, and both of them are so valid for this.

In this case however it means, that instead of slowly healing, Pearl absolutely refuses to accept Rose's death to a Harrow and Camilla extent. Does she threaten to stab whoever takes Jod's role in this AU? Does she try to break into the Locked Tomb because to hell with the Houses, she's getting her wife back? Both? In any case, tlt rules demand that she succeeds.

Anyway, I put them in the Seventh House because roses.

As for the supporting cast:

Ruby and Sapphire are the Fifth House wholesome married couple who make Pearl and Rose stare in longing for what they cannot have.

Garnet is Paul. Obviously. Cue another, different kind of yearning for what could have been from Pearl. Poor Garnet has just come into existence. She doesn't deserve having to be everyone's emotional support already.

I struggled with figuring out a role for Amethyst for a while until it hit me: Wasn't it fun when Amethyst experienced self hatred over how the life was drained out of her planet to make her? Try being the result of two hundred child murders! Don't the inadequacy issues gain a delightful new dimension when your entire generation has been killed off in anticipation of your abilities? Guys, I think Amethyst is Harrow Nova.

I have no idea what plot has to happen for Rose to end up with Jod's baby, but that is the only role for Steven I will tolerate. And Connie is his cavalier. Obviously.

Peridot is sciency, Lapis is the quiet OP lady, and they're in a QPR. There was no way I wasn't going to make them the Sixth. HOWEVER. Due to how extremely OP Lapis is with an element manipulating power specifically. I decided that she's the necromancer and Peridot is her incredibly academically talented BFF who they're pretending is the necromancer so she can be along for the ride. This would be plot relevant if this crossover had an actual plot instead of self indulgent vibes only.

Jasper gets Judith's role. Completely loyal to the ethically dubious regime, absolutely convinced that she's the only one who is doing the right thing and everyone else is just not strong enough, ends up corrupted possessed by a Resurrection Beast.

Bismuth is a Blood of Eden commander. She would like to fist fight every single Uppercrust zombie, however, just like su!Bismuth, she is easily won over when a former Homeworld gem House zombie shows up on her planet and announces her intent to fight the Diamonds Jod and his Lyctors and/or bust into the Locked Tomb.

[gamesception]

lets read rgu, chapter 26

So, yeah, the main story is complete with chapter 25.  Chapters 26 and 27 are in fact side stories incorporating some elements from the anime that didn’t make it into the manga before.  This chapter, we’re bringing in Ruka, a character who ime is often underrated.  People I’ve watched Utena with in real life often see him as a superfluous blue Touga who randomly shows up 3/4 of the way through the show and disappears without a trace or fanfare two episodes later.  Though my appreciation for him may also be tainted by misinterpretation - the first time I watched the show I thought Ruka was the guy who had come between Juri and Shiori in the first place - the guy who liked Juri but Shiori in her jealously had “stolen”.  That’s not the case, but Ruka was still a lot more than just an unnecessary extra Touga.

Unfortunately, the same difference from the anime that made Manga Juri’s own arc so much less compelling and work so much worse will likely hold back Ruka’s bonus chapter as well.  “The guy I like doesn’t like me” is just so much less compelling as an underlying motivation for manga Juri’s angst than “I can’t confess my feelings to the girl I like because those feelings are a love that ‘dare not speak its name’, so I will keep that love secret and obsess over it, while the girl I love misinterprets my increasingly guarded and withdrawn attitude towards her as condescension and contempt and reacts by trying to hurt me by “stealing” the boy she thinks I like, which none the less succeeds in hurting me by making me see the person I love with someone else, but because it’s all based on misunderstanding I’m still left with the thought that if by some miracle she learned my feelings for her she might return them, and so we spiral around each other in obsession and animosity forever.”

There are different ways to interpret anime Ruka, because the show is deliberately opaque about him, but I always read him as playing a villainous role as an affect hiding a princely motivation.  The dude finds out he's going to die, and his only regret is that the girl he liked was all heartbroken over some falling out between her and her best friend that led to them hating each other, but they’re both too proud to resolve the conflict directly.  So with his last few weeks of life he 1) deliberately becomes a villain, 2) torments both the girl and her former friend, hurting both of them worse than they hurt each other 3) defuses the hatred between them by redirecting it towards himself, and 4) literally takes that hatred with him to the grave, giving them the chance for a fresh start.

If you take all this as deliberate, as I do, then it’s a ridiculous xanatos roulette of a plan, but it succeeds.  By the end Juri’s locket shatters - representing either that she’s given up on Shiori returning her feelings or accepted that she can’t keep her feelings locked up if she hopes anything to come from them, and she publicly expresses her anguish by openly sobbing in front of everyone, the dueling arena metaphorically drenched in her tears.

All the duelists in the show - or at the very least all the student council members - highlight or comment on some aspect of the fairy-tale prince archetype, typically by failing to live up to it in some way.  If the core identity of the Prince is in their selfless, even self sacrificial devotion to the Princess, then Saionji is unfit because his devotion is possessive and cruel.  Likewise Miki's is conditional and idealized, Juri's obsessive and fearful, Nanami's jealous and immature, Touga's ambitious and insincere.  They all demonstrate potential tripping points by which Utena might have failed to live up to the Princely archetype.

Ruka, on the other hand, is more subversive and deconstructive, exposing a tragic aspect of the archetype that had previously gone unexamined: the Prince MUST save the Princess(es), even if they don't want to be saved, even if he will become hated as a result, even if he must die in the process.  Where the other duelists demonstrate ways Utena could have failed to become Anthy's Prince, Ruka foreshadows the dark fate waiting for her when she succeeds.

Though of course that’s all assuming that Ruka’s manipulative villain persona was an affect and he actually was there to help Juri & Shiori by drawing their hatred away from each other and towards himself.  You could just as easily argue that he was sincerely after the power of Dios to cure his illness and save himself, that that any benefit Juri and Shiori experienced in the aftermath of his two week rampage through their lives was purely down to their own growth in the face of the difficulties he selfishly subjected them to.

Manga Ruka is playing out a version of this, but it doesn’t work as well because manga Juri’s anguish - ‘My pride is hurt because Utena beat me in a duel and Touga likes her more than me’ - just isn’t as compelling and really shouldn’t require any sort of grand manipulation to save her from.

But Manga Ruka puts on a grand show of manipulation none the less, getting Juri out of her house by challenging her place in the fencing team, stoking her jealousy of Utena by spending time with the new girl, setting Juri up for an unexpected rematch against Utena in the fencing room which she loses, using the shame and disappointment of that to goad Juri into a match against himself where she wins, and from there getting her to challenge Utena to a proper rematch in the dueling arena.

But before the duel Juri overhears Ruka bragging to Touga about how easy it was to manipulate Juri, and this aggrieves her pride so badly that she refuses to duel Utena again after all.

Which, I mean, good for her.  Even if you accept my reading of Anime Ruka’s motivations, that still leaves this gaping criticism over how he goes about achieving his goals.  The condescension, manipulation, and frankly cruelty of it is anything but Princely, and that the anime /rewards/ his behavior with success, again if you’re assuming as I do that the eventual outcome is what he was aiming for in the first place, is pretty sketchy.  Manga Juri gets the opportunity to call out and reject that manipulation in a way that Anime Juri didn’t really get.

Also, I’m literally all for any of the characters in Utena being on the receiving end of a Dramatic Slap with the soul exception of Anthy.  Ruka’s face is exceptionally slap-worthy.

But there’s gotta be a duel, so Ruka duels Utena in Juri’s place, using imitating Juri’s attacks and style to show her that she could still beat Utena if she wished.

Ruka effectively wins the duel, but at the last moment his unnamed illness catches up to him and he collapses to the ground, forfeiting the match by removing his own rose in a nod to how Juri’s second duel ended in the anime.

And like in the anime Ruka leaves and dies without telling Juri.

On the one hand, a sacrifice to spare her pain, but on the other hand a patronizing kind of manipulative move, making the choice for her and denying her the chance to say goodbye.

The duality of Ruka in a nut shell.

Honestly, this bonus chapter was pretty good, probably the best it could have been given how much less Manga Juri’s character had to work with.

[maya-matlin]

What do you see as the main similarities and differences between Zaya and Joey/Pacey?!

I've been waiting for this ask my entire life LOL

So first things first, I've thought Zig and Pacey were similar characters for a long time. It's not a perfect comparison. High school Pacey was a lot more emotionally mature and almost unrealistically selfless and sensitive compared to Zig who was much more like your typical, ignorant teenager. But at the same time, there are still many parallels. Both guys had complicated relationships with their families. Zig's familial life prior to being kicked out is hardly shown or given much development. We know that his mother seems to love him and he presumably has a dad still in the picture. Pacey's parents resented and abused him, both physically and emotionally. He was constantly reminded what a failure he supposedly was and that they'd prefer he wasn't around. The tense family situation led to Pacey moving out of his childhood home halfway through his junior year in favor of living with Doug, and then Gretchen. Zig's story was much different. He's assumed to have a stable, relatively loving home life prior to his gang ties directly putting his family in harm's way. After Zig fails to leave the gang, either by his own decision or because he genuinely doesn't feel as though he's able to leave (it's unclear - Degrassi did not even try with this arc), he's kicked out and basically never accepted back home. Even after Zig does his best to leave the gang, doing better in school and staying out of trouble, it's still not enough. Just the hint of Zig being in the vicinity of something dangerous, aka Tiny being stabbed, is too much for his mom to accept. So as a result, Zig spends the rest of high school living in a group home after being forced to leave the Matlins' house. Both Zig and Pacey are fundamentally changed during their formative years by the absence of their parents' support and love. Pacey has been resigned to the reality that he'll never get what he needs from his family. Not that this even stops him from accepting the teensiest amount of affection, always being quick to meet his shitty family members halfway. Zig never fully recovers on screen from the loss of his family. He almost projects the need for a family onto Maya, the closest thing he has to unconditional love for a very long time. Considering their relationship is a romantic one and prone to falling apart because of the reality of high school relationships not typically working out, Zig never quite gets this from Maya. There's a semblance of Zig having a found family with Tiny, Grace and Maya, but it's like.. we don't really get that acknowledgement. At the end of Next Class, it's Zoe who has this moment with her classmates and closest friends. Regardless, Zig becomes desperate for love and stability in the absence of having a family. He's much more prone to self doubt and putting a lot of stock in his friends' opinions of him, something he directly tells Esme when apologizing for not doing a good job defending their relationship and Esme's status as his girlfriend. Both Zig and Pacey seek out permanent love to replace the rejection they feel from their parents.

Back to the self worth issues. No matter how many people in their lives try to validate them, Zig and Pacey never fully believe that they're worth much or are capable of good things. This aspect of Pacey is at least taken seriously. In season 4, Pacey' series-long self worth problems gradually manifest into depression and self hatred, resulting in him eventually ruining his relationship with Joey in a very ugly, self destructive way. Sound familiar LOL? Zig's self worth problems don't get this treatment. On some occasions, Zig's insecurities and strong feelings for Maya are almost played for laughs. No one takes his concerning comments seriously. Even when he opens up to Esme, sharing that he feels as though he isn't good at anything, she only focuses on Zig talking about "some other girl,” displaying jealousy that the guy she's into is still preoccupied with his ex. During Zig's relationship with Maya, particularly during the first season of Next Class, he's paralyzed with a lot of insecurities and believes he's losing Maya. No matter how much affection Maya gives him or tries to reassure Zig that he's the only one she wants - both physically and emotionally, he can't make himself accept it. Much like Pacey loses it at prom when he sees Joey dancing with Dawson, Zig self destructs in his own way: he cheats on Maya with Zoe, convinced she's doing the same same thing with Jonah even though he has zero evidence of this. Though Pacey intentionally and consciously breaks up with Joey through his actions, Zig indirectly does the same? Not really, but based on his demeanor when Maya comes back, Zig almost seemed convinced prior to Maya explaining what transpired during her visit to New York that what he did WASN'T cheating and that it wouldn't have mattered because Maya was already gone. Meaning, the official breakup was merely a formality. This doesn't negate his actions and isn't meant to downplay them. Simply put, Zig's emotions were all over the place. He could no longer discern the truth or have faith in Maya's love for him because of his own deep seated self hatred. This isn't unlike Pacey, who seemed to have less and less confidence in Joey's love for him as season 4 went on.

I can't find a coherent way to introduce the Pacey/Zig parallels, so here:

Eventually, both Pacey and Zig end up lashing out at Joey and Maya, blaming them for their bad behavior and/or the way they're feeling. Thankfully, both quickly apologize. Pacey does it more eloquently and comes across as much more sympathetic, though. But Zig at least does acknowledge he didn't actually hold Maya responsible for his impulsive, hurtful actions with Zoe.

In contrast, Maya and Joey aren't all that similar beyond spending some time in denial about their feelings and experiencing loss at a young age. Joey lost her mother to cancer while Maya's first boyfriend committed suicide. Their demeanors are very opposite. Joey is an extremely guarded person, using sarcasm and anger to keep people away. Maya is much friendlier. While she still has her guard up to some extent, particularly from the end of season 12 through halfway through season 14, she always welcomes people into her life - even if she sometimes can't let them all the way in. Much like Joey with Pacey, Maya exposes herself to Zig completely in a way she can't with other guys.

You'd think I'd be done by now, right? Sadly, I'm not. Both Zaya and Pacey/Joey had similar starts. Zig and Pacey spent a lot of time pining after Maya and Joey. Both girls claimed they didn't reciprocate the guys' feelings at one point or another. Pacey kissing Joey in season 1 only for her to reject him for Dawson could be comparable to Maya immediately getting back together with Cam after kissing Zig for the first time. But for what it's worth, it was always obvious to me that Maya had feelings for Zig that she wasn't owning up to, subconsciously or otherwise. Joey's feelings for Pacey don't appear to exist until season 3, though you could make an argument for repressed physical attraction based on the occasional comment. Not unlike how Pacey had gradually become Joey's best and closest friend during season 3, Zig served the same role in Maya's life once they started living together and moved past the messy triangle with Miles. Eventually, the tension came to the surface, and both couples shared a passionate kiss, initiated by one member of the ship.

Then, another initiated by the other half:

There's a brief attempt at a secret relationship. Though admittedly, Zaya's short stint (all of two seconds) as secret lovers was nothing compared to the traumatic experience that was the Dawson/Joey/Pacey love triangle. Eventually, both couples settle into a stable relationship after spending a mostly happy summer together. Being back at school and the the reality of both Maya and Joey being very ambitious people (Maya wanting to pursue her musical dreams and Joey wanting to attend a prestigious school) whereas Zig and Pacey aren't for whatever reason, perfectly content to be wherever their girlfriends are as they make zero plans for their own lives. The reality of what happens when you put so much stock into one person over your own success and self worth led to.. well, basically, my long ass rant, detailing Zig's and Pacey's issues.

Other miscellaneous moments that parallel are both Zig and Pacey having insecurities about their girlfriend's love for them because the relationships have yet to become or haven't since been, sexual. Both Maya and Joey have fears. Maya is afraid that things will get weird if she sleeps with Zig again. Joey has a whole host of sex-related fears that are barely addressed or even properly explained because this was the 2000's, and Dawson's Creek often perpetuated really gross ideas about female virginity and sexuality. But in time, both couples got on the same page and had somewhat similar love scenes.

Bonus:

As stated before, both Zig and Pacey plan to be with their girlfriends in the forseeable future:

Taking joy in their girlfriend's accomplishments:

Taking care of Maya/Joey while they're high/drunk:

It takes a long time, but eventually both couples find each other again.

And obviously, both thankfully ended up together! Zig moves to LA with Maya while Pacey is assumed to follow Joey to New York at some point after their reunion. Pacey eventually becomes a chef while Joey manages to get her dream, escaping Capeside and finding a fulfilling career. When we last see Zig and Maya, their lives are just starting out. But Maya is on her way to university to eventually work in the music industry. Zig's future is unknown, though it's always been clear that Zig has a talent for cooking, making it highly likely he'll also someday become a chef.

As for the differences, I'll keep it brief. Zig and Maya overall always had a pleasant, friendly sort of dynamic whereas Pacey and Joey constantly bantered, spending part of their formative years supposedly "hating" each other.

Okay, I'm officially done!

[true--north]

I've been asked about my 💎unpopular💎 opinions about Frozen:

❄ I love F2 ending in all its aspects, I love the sisters separated, Elsa out, I love them being the Spirit and the Queen.

❄ F2 is better than F1 because it's more poetical, magical, epical and satisfying; but at the same time both films are so connected and parallelized and sincere to each other that it's a truly one consistent story.

❄ I don't think that Elsa was a better queen than Anna will be. I think that she had a hard time adjusting herself to the royal job. Because she symbolically had had to find and wear the crown she thew away in the catharsis of Let It Go again.

❄ When I heard "Are you the one who knows deep down that I'm not where I'm meant to be" everything had just clicked so naturally and I fell in love with Elsa. I know that many don't like this line/subplot and praise her as queen of Arendelle but I relate to that, I saw her soul and understood why she wanted to leave.

❄ Elsa as a magical shaman priestess(Noaidi), her bond with Ahtohallan, her freedom in the Forest is something that is so important to me.

❄ F1 Anna did nothing wrong.

❄ F2 Anna was holding Elsa back in F2. She was "cutting her wings"(I understand why, of course). Despite Anna's own words of "When will you see yourself the way I see you?" Anna didn't see the whole Elsa, that reckless magical deep side of her that was awakened by Ahtohallan's voice and the touch of the Forest. The side that wanted to break free. That's why the accepting Anna in "Her love could hold up the world" scene is so important. She understood.

❄ I don't see Kristoff's arc in F2 as a failure. Still I wish Lee and Buck were able to save his "I don't want to change myself for the royal life" lines. Because now we have Elsa and Kristoff who wanted Change, and Anna and Olaf who didn't; and probably it would be fancier to have only Elsa(since it's her Journey") who seeks Change being her leading role, and the rest dealing and coping with It.

❄ I like the trolls. Their lore is cool and they are funny. Grand Pabbie was good.

❄ I like Agduna as a couple and as parents despite their mistakes. They are sympathetic. Iduna is a tragic heroine.

❄ Sometimes I think that Hans wasn't that handsome. Something in the way his appearance was animated in the second half of the film looks unpleasant.

❄ I don't think that Honeymaren was that important.

❄ I may ship Elsa with some, even with that Wolfgang if he's young in the podcast, but I think that she is going to remain aroace in canon.

❄ I think that Hans's arc could have been much more interesting and deep without the twist, but I didn't feel betrayed by the shock of it.

❄ Some part of the isolation and separation's pain and trouble was caused by Elsa herself. Some traits of her psyche kept her in that reclusive, full of fear and self-hatred state of mind more than could and should have been for any other person.

❄ I feel sorry that Lee is gone and have doubts about the new director.

❄ Concept arts outfits are better than the actual versions.

❄ I don't quite like that F2 outfits lost their 19th century spirit. Anna doesn't even wear stocking anymore(just like Elsa).

❄ Anna doesn't need to be like Elsa, to do what Elsa does to be cool and worthy, she doesn't need to be with Elsa all the time.

❄ I have trouble understating the concept of Anna as the Fifth Spirit in its full magical spiritual sense. But at the same time I can sense what they were trying to say.

❄ I love when the sisters are arguing, when they have a conflict, when their opinions and worldviews clash. Because they are so different and it's compelling and interesting.

❄ I think that Elsa can (or at least must theoretically) rule the nature elements, in the literal sense.

❄ I feel sorry that Runeard was simplified in the Polar Nights.

❄ I prefer Elsa's Harvest Festival and Spirit dresses over Ice Dress.

❄ And, SHOCK! I don't like the way Elsa's braid was drawn. It wasn't a lush and carefree natural braid from concept arts. The braid is too thick and these frozen unnatural large strands... I felt happy when Elsa let her hair fall down in F2. She needs more wild and untamed hair.