#send nice messages

[themetalheadhippy]

Just realised that I haven't posted these selfies yet 📸💧☀️🌦️ Plus, I need the pick me up 🙁😕☹️

[linkerbell]

Idk some silly gif i made of feral moon boy

[thebibliosphere]

Whenever I get a particularly nasty message, I always check to see if they're following me first. Nine times out of ten, they're not. But they're also, unfortunately, the same people who feel entitled to send me multiple messages in a row, most of them heavily steeped in the language of moralization and purity.

Like whenever I talk about painkillers or pain management, I always get a handful of well-meaning people who are maybe new to my blog or are just young, asking me if I've tried diet/exercise/meditation, etc.

Sometimes I'll respond to them. Other times I'll just ignore them because I get those kinds of messages so often it's like white noise, and maybe part of me hopes if they stick around on my blog, they'll learn it through exposure via my incessant bitching.

When you see me responding to someone offering that kind of advice, it's either because I'm at my fucking limit or because I'm hoping it's a teachable moment and an otherwise seemingly nice person might unlearn some harmful biases.

The people who don't follow me are not interested in any kind of conversation on the subject. They do, however, feel the most qualified to tell me, someone they didn't know existed until one of my posts crossed their dash, how to manage my life, everything I'm doing wrong, and why I'm a bad person.

And for them, my disability is proof that I am a bad person because they view health as a moral issue.

If you're sick, it's because you don't exercise enough, don't eat the right foods, don't pray enough, don't do enough. They genuinely believe that if they say and do all the right things, like a Good Person, they'll never get sick.

It's their security blanket against the harsh reality that anyone is one bad day away from disability. One faulty gene, one bad infection, one bad accident away from a life-long diagnosis. And if they do get sick, it's a test. A challenge to be overcome with Willpower as they learn the True Meaning of Life.

It can never just be a simple fact of life that sickness happens. That disability exists without a moral reason.

And it's suffocating.

Day in, day out. Folks who don't know me from fucking Eve telling me I'm being punished. Not always as outright as that. They don't always use that word. But sometimes I appreciate it when they do because at least then they're being honest. They're not couching it in the softer language of leftist circles. Not hiding it behind concern.

Because the truth is, there are just as many folks who think they're liberal and enlightened who'd be happy if disabled people just stopped existing. They don't like thinking about us because it makes them think about themselves. About their own fragility and mortality, and they hate that. They hate that there's something they can't control with their thoughts and actions. That they can't moralize their way out of.

Honestly, it's a relief when people are just cunts about it because I can hit the block button, safe in the knowledge that they were never the kind of person who would see me as a person. But when it's some 20yo kid with their pronouns, orientation, and "ACAB" in their profile spouting the same kind of moralization, sometimes even with the language of eugenics, it feels like such a betrayal. Like a loss.

And perhaps if I wasn't multiply disabled, I'd have the energy to pull them back. To tell them why they're wrong and hope like hell they realize what they're doing is harmful. But then, if I wasn't disabled, they wouldn't be messaging me, so I wouldn't be dealing with it.

I wouldn't be expected to use my existence as a teachable moment to spoon-feed them compassion. But I am, and I do. When I can. Not always with the grace that's warranted. Not always with the thought and compassion I ought to. (And I don't; I acknowledge that. I'm prone to anger and off-the-cuff remarks that are hurtful too. Though I try to keep most of it to myself or save it for therapy.)

Basically, if you've made it this far through the TED talk, don't be fucking cunts to disabled people. Don't tell chronically ill people to try yoga. Don't moralize pain relief. Suffering is not noble.

You need to kill the cop and the priest in your head telling you otherwise.

And also if you're the nice people sending me nice messages. Thank you. It helps cushion all of *gestures* this.

[femmeoutoffocus]

💋🩷

[petite-gloom]

thinking a lot recently about the inevitability of my blog being a constant wall of text whenever i answer questions and it just kind of sucks because that’s not why i remade my blog. do u think it would be really silly to have a separate blog for questions? like i could turn asks off here and have a redirecting link. maybe it would make things a little more manageable

[kyleecarrigan]

🥺🥺🥺🥺.

Tell me nice things.

Please.

[eternity-death]

Sunday and his weird infatuation with your thorax.

[and-corn]

Hello! Just dropping in to tell you your dragon comic made my day. That dragon is so adorable and has THE best expression while looking at the bee, I'm in love. Also, the creaking of the joints made me laugh.

Thank you for sharing your art with us! I hope you have a wonderful day.

[bosons]

women commenting that the bathroom girls helping each other scene in she-hulk was not realistic i’m sorry for you that you never met drunken nice girls in bathrooms

[hajihiko]

Random but I adore your art style. It’s on the realistic side, but it still kinda has that bouncy(?), almost cartoony feel to it. Like it’s that healthy mix of realistic and cartoony, it’s so appealing. You’re a big inspiration to me, thank you for doing what you do dude!

thank you! That's exactly what I try to do, it was a long time before I was satisfied 😅

[eli-zab3th]

"I love that you send me random stuff throughout the day, I'm like a crow in that regard, and the stuff you send me are my little trinkets."

[syb-la-tortue]

merry christmas to me.........

welp looks like my main tumblr got nuked again. for real this time? who knows, I've sent support a message about it but I'm not holding too much hope...

this side tumblr was kept In Case Of Disaster so I guess that's relevant now

the reason was allegedly the explicit art, even though I've been censoring the explicit bits since the first purge :/

anyway I'm still posting on twitter, and still have my patreon if you want to support me and see more art sooner, and there's bluesky too now, as an extra

[themetalheadhippy]

Damn you've actually got me bummed there's been no pictures to worship for two days now.

I'll be honest there are several reasons; I've been feeling really tired after work and as soon as I got home from work last night 🌃 I instantly fell asleep 😪😴🛌 And I've just started my period which I knew was expecting anyways but that combined with coming home from work I don't feel sexy AT ALL 😫😫 Perhaps if I'm feeling up to it, I might take some photos with the silk night dress I have since it's comfortable around my belly combined with some red lipstick 💄

[galedekarios]

anon who asked me about my favourite gale quotes, i want you to know that this is me rn

[nihilismtrcit]

cool parents 

[needylittlegirl]

some of u guys dont have anon on . how am i supposed to send nice little messages if u dont have anon on !!!!