#sequels nobody asked for

[imthefailedartist]

There's really only diminishing returns on The Strangers sequels.

It's a small diner with large ass windows. Were you not looking at your car to see if someone went under the hood.

This is why you always stop where there's multiple fast food chains. Especially an Arby's. Not McDonald's! Even the most bum fuck nowhere town has McDonald's, but only towns of select size have Arby's.

With the original, they had stakes because their relationship was fraught. Making them cloyingly happy does nothing. Unless they are going to work extremely hard to keep that happiness. Spoiler alert: they don't even try.

The conflict is right there. She might get a job in a new state. He's a marriage guy she's not a marriage girl.

Spoilers below. . . I guess. It's a "slasher" and the third film. You know what's coming

What was the point of the rude ain't married yet scene if it's not something they're worried about.

10,000 is civilization. 2,000 to 9,000 is small town quaint. 1,000 or less is you naked on all fours and being told to "squeal for me fat boy".

Oh girl, no, he got asthma. He can't protect you, he can't even breathe right.

Why is the town so suspicious.

Creepy stranger continuously ringing doorbell in middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, and hearing creepy sounds procedes to prance around in panties and socks, plays music and smokes weed.

Pants and shoes. Put them on.

Opening the door. Big no no.

Stepping outside even bigger no no.

In ya damn panties.

Put on your Goddamn pants and shoes.

Passes the kitchen butcher block full of knives to hide in the bathroom. "We need weapons."

See I would just burn the cabin down. With all of us in it. Pete just gon have to see my insurance.

Why does this cabin have an upstairs if it's not going to factor into the movie.

Who returns to a dark house and don't call out?

Also, that motorcycle was loud as hell she couldn't hear it.

They are the dumbest.

Under the house was smart. Everything they did after was very dumb.

Too much in-house unseen lurking. It stopped being scary.

They aren't even trying.

What was that, not mormon mormon pamphlet?

Not him trying to gaslight her mere hours after he had a meltdown over the locals allegedly scamming them.

The water bottle. Are you fucking kidding me.

The person who made this clearly doesn't have asthma. He'd have been better off pouring the water on his shirt and breathing through that. And it's quiet.

The music cues. My god, stop.

I knew this movie was going to be bad when it opened with text, implying it was sort of a true story.

But let's be honest. We knew this was going to be bad when the strangers talked in the trailers. My first thought hearing their voices, "Oh, they talk now, that sucks."

Shoot her!!! Why are you talking?

Why the fake out with him coming back being creepy?

They would've been better off sleeping in their car.

These characters are so dumb I truly thought this was a cold beginning à la Scream, for much too long. I'm talking he still hasn't come back from the late night dinner run long.

RIP AirBNB dude. The cabin was nice.

This movie is too big. I don't need to see them stopping at a diner full of weird townsfolk, I don't need to see a mormon, not mormon cult. I don't need to see a motorcycle being blown up. Just get em in the cabin and let the "haunting" begin.

If you're going to show me the town. Him going back to town, specifically, make it count. I thought he was gonna sit for a minute and have a beer all while the Strangers really torture her mentally. For him to come back and find her cowering, and the shit really kicks off.

Why are they so loud. At no point are they quiet.

"They caught us." Yeah, you didn't make it very hard.

Wait a minute. This takes place well after the first one. Why is it chapter one? You know what, don't tell me. I don't care.

Sackmans car is still running. Get in it. Drive.

I need movie characters to understand they'd get a lot further in the woods by walking.

At some point, these characters were so stupid I forgot this movie takes place in modern-day.

I was like, oh yeah, this is the 50's they thought the world was safer.

Do they just stab them one time in the original. Is that how it ended? I guess it was scarier because they really were just there doing this for no reason. This movie makes too many suggestions.

Maybe this is just me being nostalgic for the first one and how I felt watching it. Maybe the couple is just as dumb. Who knows? I haven't watched it in a few years.

What the fuck was that end credit scene? It ain't like they ghosts or demons.

She lived. Okay, so what? It's not like she knows who they are.

I know these characters have to be this dumb on purpose. Why a person would want to base their whole movie around them is beyond me. It does not make an enjoyable watch. Not even for the fun of it, that only works if your characters aren't total dumbasses and the audience is in on the stupid.

There's a way to make your characters so unbelievably dumb that it's fun. But the Strangers franchise is not that place to do that.

[davecumstaine]

More Rammstein Text Post Memes

Part 1 can be found here

[hana-loves-bumblebees]

Me every time I see a word too similar to a word in another language and am like “HA!! A LOANWORD!!!”

[vinesauce-spogooter]

Dude, sick reference to Snoop Dogg smoking weed. I can’t believe you’re so clever, it was j̸s̴z̵t̴s̴h̵puh̴––it was a commercial over a stove, bæh-but you wouldn't BELIEVE how he went and said he was stop smoke, and then he make-a 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕧𝕖. Stove with no Smoke, I see what he did. That's very clever, so–they smoke 𝚍veed still, but now he get 𝚍maaad munny, so he can continue–… Sᴍᴏᴋᴇ™.

[the-holy-ghosted]

bridglars -> the-holy-ghosted

ask me about ghosted (2011) this is a good idea for sure

[eliathynfer]

My honest reaction to the announcement of KCD’s prequel, after I had to replay the whole story to get the ending I wanted and thinking I didn’t have to see the Doobays again:

I kinda want to scream because I want new stories, not sequels or prequels

[artist-issues]

What's your opinion on Rey's next film after Star Wars episode 9? What do you think Lucasfilm will do with Rey's story and journey in the next film?

Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy (“Ms. Marvel”) will direct the next Rey film from a script by Steven Knight (“Peaky Blinders”).

Information about the story of Rey’s film

PUBLISHED APR 10, 2023

Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy said at the fan convention that Ridley’s new “Star Wars” movie will follow Rey as she builds a new Jedi Order, but the executive teased a bit more about the plot in an interview with IGN: “Star Wars” fans will pick up with Rey well over a decade after “The Rise of Skywalker.”

“Well we’re 15 years out from ‘Rise of Skywalker,’ so we’re post-war, post-First Order, and the Jedi are in disarray,” Kennedy confirmed. “There’s a lot of discussion around, ‘Who are the Jedi? What are they doing? What’s the state of the galaxy?’ She’s attempting to rebuild the Jedi Order, based on the books, based on what she promised Luke, so that’s where we’re going.”

As for whether Mark Hamill’s Luke Skywalker could be involved in the film via flashbacks or as a Force ghost, Kennedy said: “I don’t know if we’ll spend a lot of time in flashbacks or [on] Force ghosts or things like that, but certainly, the spirit of what he represents to her is going to be significant.”

Source: Variety

More information about the film in this post here.

I really think they lost sight of who Rey was and who she was set up to be in Episode 9. If they had completed her character arc in a meaningful way, a I feel like I would be better set up to answer this question. But as it is, she doesn’t seem to have any direction or purpose in the end of TROS.

Yeah, she’s rebuilding the Jedi, but like…why? What are they to her? The only thing she learned about the Jedi beyond myths and rumors was that they were proud fools—from Luke, that is. And then even after he died and his Force ghost had a brief moment with her, it’s not like he was really showing her what the Jedi were, or what they were like, or how to start a community of Jedi. He was just giving her general advice about how to do the right thing—and framing that with “confronting fear is the destiny of the Jedi” or whatever.

But see, that’s the thing. In the original trilogy, it made sense for Luke to end his story by training Jedi Knights and restoring the Order. He started out learning that his father was a Jedi Knight and wanting to figure out what that was so he could be one too—then he learned what that was—then he remembered his promise to Yoda to pass on what he’d learned.

Sure, Luke was learning big character lessons along the way, to apply to himself. “Let go of control, focus on doing the right thing in the present” for example. But those were lessons he learned while pursuing the goal of becoming and embodying the next generation of Jedi.

That was never Rey’s goal.

Rey’s goal was just “find my place/find out who I am.” It took all of the first movie and even part of the second in her trilogy for her to even accept that she might, in some way, be connected to the Jedi tradition. But she never promises to teach anyone else. She never promises to pass on what tiny amount she has learned. She never shows any interest in doing that. For Rey, being a Jedi only mattered in connection with answering her question “who am I?” She never showed any desire to teach anyone anything, or continue a legacy.

In the last movie, she chants “be with me,” but that comes out of nowhere. It makes no sense for her. She always wanted a family she could be with; she lost her parents, she lost Kylo Ren (who she had a deep connection with, I don’t care what kind) and she has Finn and Poe…and in TROS she treats them like they’re workplace friends, not her last remaining shot at a family.

What I’m saying is, the character goes from “I have to find out who I am” to “I have to rebuild this old religion I have no personal ties to and was never really dreaming of being a part of.” With no rhyme or reason.

So what are they going to do with this new movie?

…Anything they want, they basically retconned all of her direction, as a character, in TROS. She’s actually a Mary-Sue now. They want her to be the next Ahsoka, they can go for it. They want her to be a fallen empress, fine. They want her to marry Poe Dameron or grow old and wise like Yoda, whatever, they can do it. They’ve already proven they’ll just make up whatever they want without sticking to any of their previous decisions for her character. 🤷‍♀️

[indomitableblackdragon]

"So hey you remember that time we considered putting a cookie in the middle of the city. You know, to see if anyone was willing to just take it? Or hell, get into a fight over it. Well guess what..."

Normally most people would've forgotten such a conversation. The idea of anyone actually trying to get into a fight each other over a pastry seemed like too much of an assumption on the BB's part. But NJ was not "most people", for better or for worse. And she needed to put that theory to the test.

"Well tada! Got some home baked Jersey goodness with us today! And we're about to see how many people swoon over little cookies like these."

@sageshadowed | s.c

[nursc]

Me, looking at the dash properly for the first time this week, second post is from @antarcticadown, immediate emotional whiplash from the url.

[strawbeii]

i wish the people in charge of disney (and more companies probably) would just get an office job or do other business stuff and let the artists who want to freely express themselves & their art shine through. if the executives are only worried about sales & money they should just go work in another business idk, if you're only creating things out of a desire for money then nothing is gonna come out as good as something with real passion. and the artists who do have that passion are often pushed to the side or have their ideas dimmed down as to not take too many "risks"

[estonian-is-horrible]

there's a new one???

[honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns]

Wait is there like canon designs of the tma cast? Cuz even tho it's a podcast they look the same in every fanart I've seen of them (if there wasn't like a canon design they prolly would've been different yk)

there’s no canon designs actually!! everyone just more or less agreed on what the characters looked like early on. there’s some details as to what the characters look like (sasha is described as tall, tim is ‘hot’, jon gets described as a ‘grubby jesus’ at some point) but everyone just sorta took a design and ran w it :3

[dormiloncito]

i have watched alien (1979)

[tmema]

going through the tags on any post supporting bisexuality or reminding people that it is not restrictive or exclusive by any means is a mistake because you’ll see people say things like “pansexuality is the expansion of bisexuality” like NO the FUCK it’s NOT. bisexuality doesn’t NEED an “expansion” because it AUTOMATICALLY includes everyone. like that’s the whole point. like ive heard in real time people describe it as “bisexuals care about gender” like bisexuality encompasses SO many “definitions” because there’s not just one way to experience bisexuality. there ARE bisexuals who care about gender but NOT caring about gender is ALSO bisexual. trans & nb people are automatically included and dont need their own “special” category because it’s othering and unnecessary. we don’t do that for gay and lesbian ppl. trans/nb lesbians are STILL lesbians. gay trans/nb people are STILL gay. end of story! like it’s 2022 WHY are we still acting like bisexuality is some rigid box shape. the only thing you may feel pressured to “conform” to are the biphobic interpretations and misinformation people have (either knowingly or unknowingly) spread.

[changeling-rin]

What's your favorite quote that describes each member of the chain?

(Including sequels and Oc's)

-Moon

Small problem, I don't really have favorite quotes? And I certainly don't have 30+ of them to assign to 30+ characters

I can, however, list my favorite line(s) of dialogue for them all! The ones who've had dialogue, at any rate, for the rest I may just use memes

DIALOGUE LINES

Gen: "One of these days, I'm going to learn from my past actions and not go to investigate everything that goes 'bump' when I'm not looking... But today is not that day." “I’d like to preface this interaction by stating that I am not interested in eating you.”

Speck: "I am having the strangest day."

The Four: "Vaati, uh... he didn't have much of a plan, as far as we can tell. We really just think he wanted to get married."

Ocarina: "I feel like he should concern me more. But for some reason he doesn't, and now I'm concerned about why I'm not more concerned."

Mask: "I just realized – you're me and I'm you. We just insulted ourselves and then agreed on it." “Good news, I bring therapy in the form of a fluffy dog.”

Dusk: "Personally, I just accept the weirdness and go with it. That way when a woman-bird pops out of a pot in the middle of a frozen arctic mountain on the kitchen floor of a Yeti's mansion and offers to let you use her as an item, you can just smile and nod."

Red: “But it's nicely relevant to you and your adventure and not at all a really obvious tie-in to your mode of transportation!” “You close up right now or I'm gonna smack the black right off your umbra!”

Green: "And I'm not going to tell you who's losing, partly because I don't think this is that kind of argument, but mostly because I think you're going to immediately join the winning side after I tell you who they are."

Blue: "WHAT!? WHAT'S HAPPENING AND WHO NEEDS PUNCHING!?"

Vio: "As far as I can tell, we end up wherever we need to be next. I'm suspecting divine intervention, but 'temporal shenanigans' are also in the running as a viable explanation."

Lore: "I resent being called a 'regular people'." "I demand the proper amount of hatred and villainous one-liners!"

Realm: "Eh, wouldn't be the weirdest place. Once I had to get my shield out of a Like-Like that was inside a Lynel that was inside a Dragon." "I know what happened, I accidentally tried to get somewhere on efficient transport. I'll be sure to face the other way and think about where we came from next time."

Sketch: “...You live in the stronghold of an Evil Overlord.”

Wind: "Have you by any chance seen a giant squid? I need to destroy it to save a pirate princess and a whale god. ...That made a lot more sense in my head."

Steam: “Right. Okay. I'm about to do something stupid and probably extremely dangerous with the vague hope that it won't kill me. Cool.”

Shadow: "I do what I want.” “He’s not dead yet and I’m going to fix that.”

MEMES AS SUBSTITUTION FOR DIALOGUE LINES

Oni: I've only had the Chain for a day and a half, but if anything happened to them I would kill everybody in the vicinity and then myself.

Rune: My vibe is like, hey you could probably pour soup into my lap and I'll apologize to you.

Lux: I'm going to punch your face! IN THE FACE!

Lyric: Everybody do the Flop! *collapses*

RSE: Stakataka Time

Wraith: I see dead people

Codex: If I were a better person, I'd ignore you and go on with my life. But I'm not.

Archive: Citizens of Hyrule, I stand before you because if I was behind you, you couldn't see me.

Mini: I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.

[angels-heap]

Oops, guess who accidentally wrote 2k words today?