#seth fried

[haveyoureadthisscifibook]

vote yes if you have finished the entire book.

vote no if you have not finished the entire book.

(faq · submit a book)

[shafershouse]

Books Read: 2019

January

The Silent Patient (Alex Michaelides)

February

Pillow Thoughts (Courtney Peppernell)

A Gentleman in Moscow (Amor Towles)

March

The Age of Light (Whitney Scharer)

The Winter Sister (Megan Collins)

April

Daisy Jones & The Six (Taylor Jenkins Reid)

The Kremlin Conspiracy (Joel C. Rosenberg)

The Municipalists (Seth Fried)

Nature (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Miracle Creek (Angie Kim)

May

The Light of the Fireflies (Paul Pen)

Beyond The Point (Claire Gibson)

June

Lost and Wanted (Nell Freudenberger)

July 

The Flight Portfolio (Julie Orringer)

The Golden Hour (Beatriz Williams)

A Nearly Normal Family (M. T. Edvardsson)

August

September

Summer of ‘69 (Elin Hilderbrand)

October

The Gifted School (Bruce Holsinger)

November

The Haunting of Hill House (Shirley Jackson)

The Whisper Man (Alex North)

December

The Turn of the Key (Ruth Ware)

[dangerousstarlightcreator]

Just my luck. The first colleague I’d befriended at the agency and it was an alcoholic supercomputer.

The Municipalists by Seth Fried

[somewhereinaburstofglory]

Seth Fried, “The Siege”, The Great Frustration

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Any Seth NSFW hcs?

Seth NSFW HC's

Likes seeing your face when fucking you, like I said in the fav sex positions post I did w all the boy's.

He like seeing how you look when he's fucking you good. How your close your eyes because of how good it is or you try to make eye contact with him but shy away.

I feel like he'd like mirror sex, where he has you looking at a mirror as he fucks you. See how he does so much to make sure your feeling good.

Like Alphonse he has a grabby hands problem. When are his hands not on you tbh? Their going up and down your body as your bent over.

He likes praising you a lot, probably be iffy on degrading you.

I think he'd see having sex as making love bc he doesn't want you to think he's gonna do a quick fuck. No he's giving you all the work making sure your needs are met first then he can have his fun.

He's not use to being the submissive one but he'll let you bend him over. If he likes it he'll think of ways to get you to mess him up.

I think there are a few songs he'd have sex too, but honestly rn can't think of them.

Y'all def got frisky on a bike ride once, you let your hands wonder and Seth was trying to keep his cool but as soon as y'all parked he got on you.

I think he'd like being marked up more than giving them. Feel like he'll accidentally hurt you

[r-truth]

[bastardpacs]

seth was doing press today and he went looking like this (roosa hates it so much fhdgdgaggsegd 💀💀💀)

SAM - I kid you not, Kris just showed this to me, and I was legit running on here to send it to you and saw your message 😂🤡 Horiskskskksks Please tell Roosa I’m so, so sorry for my horrible taste - I love it unfortunately hejdjd 😭💀 If that jean jacket had been Cropped, it would have been the end 🫡💖

[cloudishmagma]

I already drew Max and Xavier but thats cuz I was inspired lol. Idk about what to do with these other two though

BLD is @hotpinkmoon 's creation

[mergaderf]

Seth works as a server at Gladstones in Malibu and shit his pants at work.

[duckprintspress]

23 Queer Books for Disability Pride Month

July is Disability Pride Month! To celebrate, we asked our contributors to recommend their favorite queer books with disabled characters. The contributors to this list are: Neo Scarlett, Dei Walker, E. C., Polls, Rascal Hartley, Sanne, Meera S., Shadaras, Shea Sullivan, Annabeth Lynch, Tris Lawrence, Nova Mason, Nina Waters, and an anonymous contributor. Reminder: we encourage our rec list contributors to suggest books that spoke to them, which means that sometimes works on our rec lists do not include explicit representation.

Brooms by Jasmine Walls

Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao

Six of Crows (Six of Crows series) by Leigh Bardugo

Golden Stage by Cang Wu Bin Bai

Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi

The Tea Dragon Festival Treasury Edition by K. O’Neill

He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan

Feed (Newsflesh series) by Mira Grant

Into the Drowning Deep (Rolling in the Deep series) by Mira Grant

Nimona by N.D. Stevenson

Interesting Facts about Space by Emily Austin

Body, Remember: A Memoir by Kenny Fries

The Unbroken (Magic of the Lost series) by C.L. Clark

The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus series) by Rick Riordan

The Monster Baru Cormorant (The Masquerade series) by Seth Dickinson

Chrono Crusade (Chrono Crusade series) by Daisuke Moriyama

Tokyo Babylon by Clamp

Godkiller (Fallen Gods series) by Hannah Kaner

A Tiny Piece of Something Greater by Jude Sierra

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers

The Charm Offensive (The Charm Offensive series) by Alison Cochrun

Umineko When They Cry by 07th Expansion

Copper Coins by Mu Su Li

What are your favorite queer books with disability rep?

You can view this list, and our many others, as a shelf on Goodreads!

Looking to buy any of these books or others we’ve recommended? You can browse our rec lists on Bookshop.org!

Want to chat your favorite reads with us? Join our Book Lover’s Discord server!

Love reading queer books? Our Queer Book Challenge is running on Storygraph through the end of 2024. Come join us!

[undead-supernova]

HIGH TOLERANCE

Only 10mg / Masterlist

Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

warnings: so much angst, a night gone wrong, more (derogatory) Steve, Gertrude (extra derogatory), Delta-9 gummies

pairings: modern!bestfriend!Eddie x bisexual!fem!reader

plot: dates aren't always what you want them to be...let alone with people who you don't really want to be on dates with

wc: 4k

song inspirations: VOID by Melanie Martinez, We Are Nobody Else by Lady Lamb

“What do you mean you haven’t seen any movies this year?”

“I mean, I’ve seen movies. I just haven’t found anything I thought was interesting in the last eight months.”

“What do you watch then?”

This morning you actually found someone on Hinge named Gertrude and by the afternoon you were on a lunch date. And you’d thought they were cute when you met up at Grub Burger, like really cute, with thin-rimmed rectangular glasses and a long dark braid down their back. They had a soft voice and an even softer smile…but it was quickly starting to go downhill.

Every question they threw at you felt like an investigation where you were wrong every single time, as if your preferences weren’t good enough. Even the lack of movies you’d seen.

In your defense, you usually went to the movie theater if Eddie asked. He was really good at guessing when a movie’s going to be worthwhile (and you weren’t). He never once disappointed. He’d also never taken you to a movie without at least giving you something of the cannabis persuasion and buying a large popcorn for you to share. 

Sometimes he even bought your ticket.

Which you always pretended were dates like the desperate woman you were.

“Yeah, I really like 2000s movies,” you replied, shrugging. “I’ll pop on a Seth Rogan film every once and a while. Like, I know they’re a little outdated or whatever, but they’re fun. Oh, especially if you smoke some weed. Then it’s super funny. Like, This Is The End? It’s just cool to see all these actors—"

“I mean, they’re, like, super problematic,” Gertrude interrupted.

You nodded. “No, I know,” you agreed, scratching at your neck. “I know. It’s not the best, but like, I recognize that. I don’t think it’s all funny. And it’s not just Seth Rogan, there are other genres like dramas and fantasy and horror. Have you heard of the movie The Invisible? It’s about this guy who dies and is a ghost and can’t talk to anyone and finds out he—”

“I just thought because you’re queer, you’d have better standards for the media you consume.”

Pausing, you felt yourself deflate. You shrugged again, wondering how this conversation was turning into something else entirely. “I mean, I think you could argue that every piece of media is problematic, depending on the way you look at it. If you acknowledge that the media you like is flawed, you’re still allowed to enjoy it. It’s not that hard.”

Gertrude gave you that judgmental look again, pushing their fork around their French fries. “Agree to disagree. Anyways, maybe you should ask me a question now.”

As if I had had any chance to ask anything since we sat down.

“Uh, okay. What’s your favorite color?”

Gertrude finally smiled for the first time since you’d greeted each other. They really were pretty. There was just something so grating about their attitude…

“I think I like a soft yellow, something bright and cheery.”

You nodded, trying to seem more interested than you were. Some part of you even felt like laughing. “Yeah, yellow’s a good color. Very vibrant. Makes you happy.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe black? Red?”

Steve sighed, scratching his bare thigh before going back to his cherry and goat cheese ice cream. Eddie merely stared down at his cream puff flavor, unsure as to why he thought this date would be a good idea. He’d suggested they go out to get ice cream (definitely not to distract himself from what was probably happening across town with someone who he definitely wasn’t thinking about). 

But Steve didn’t remotely hesitate, making Eddie think that maybe that was a sign. He was in it now. They were getting somewhere…

If only it hadn’t started going downhill just from asking basic questions that they somehow hadn’t thought of in the last however many years of knowing each other.

“Ah, come on, Eddie. You can’t say red!”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, trying not to get irritated. “Why not?” he asked. “It’s a color. That was part of the assignment.”

“I just feel like it’s a little stereotypical for you.”

“Why, ‘cause I like metal?” Eddie guessed with a sigh sitting in the back of his throat. He was careful not to release it.

“Uh, yeah,” Steve replied. Like it was obvious. Like it was stupid. “Precisely.”

“Okay, then what’s yours, big guy?”

“Probably red or green,” you answered. “Not a soft green. More like a deep emerald?”

“Like Christmas?”

You shook your head. To give them credit, it was a common question you got whenever anyone cared enough to ask.

Well, except for one person...

“Well, no. I wouldn’t consider myself someone who likes Christmas all that much.”

“Let me guess, your favorite holiday is something weird, like St. Patrick’s Day.”

What the hell was this person even talking about? Were they hearing themselves talk?

You successfully suppressed your sigh before you decided to answer honestly. “Uh, my favorite holiday is Halloween.”

“Next you’re gonna tell me your favorite holiday is Halloween.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Uh, because it is.” What was Steve even talking about? Why was he suddenly being so fucking judgmental? “Let me guess, your favorite is Christmas,” he bit back.

Steve laughed, oblivious to Eddie’s venom. “Yeah, the lights are cool. The hot chocolate with the peppermint in it. Oh, and the snow. You can layer everything. I mean, it’s cute. Plus,” he stopped, clearly trying to make his next sentence sound less rude. “I just think Halloween is a little…meh.”

“Meh?”

Steve shrugged. “Yeah.”

“What beef do you have with Halloween?”

“It’s just a little overdone, don’t you think?”

You shook your head, appalled as to why they didn’t get how important the holiday was. 

“No, I think it’s about expressing yourself and becoming something more than what you are. It gives kids a moment of exploration of themselves and creativity. Not to mention its importance for queer people and how they can have one night where they can be themselves—"

“—without the scrutiny of the public. We could walk out in drag or anything feminine whatsoever and it’s not considered threatening, even if that’s shitty in and of itself. But it’s still that opportunity.” Eddie smiled to himself. “That chance. It’s bringing a sense of fucking safety that’s otherwise missing.”

Steve nodded before he shrugged, scraping at the bottom of his cup. “Yeah, you make a good point. I guess I haven’t really thought about it like that.”

Eddie forgot that he and Steve never really had conversations like these. It was usually you who he could talk to for hours on end, deconstructing what it meant to live and how everything was about perspective. Inebriated, sober—it didn’t matter. Like those days at the aquarium, you were able to see the bigger picture at the end of the day. You talked about stuff like this without even having to be asked.

That ticket still sat in his wallet. He always took it out whenever he needed a pick-me-up. It gave him a spark of hope that life could change for the better if someone like you existed.

Steve kept talking, but Eddie was pulling out his wallet and running his fingers over the ticket like it would bring you here and he could have you here instead. 

As you and Gertrude fell into silence, you put your hand in your skirt pocket, feeling the smoothness of Eddie’s yellow pick. Tracing the edges, you wondered what it felt like for him to run it down his strings. How it fit in his fingers. 

How he was doing.

Where he was.

If he was available.

You looked at Gertrude, watching them scroll through their TikTok feed, volume up, before you stood and grabbed your purse.

“I have to go.”

Eddie watched Steve reach the very bottom of his cup, hoping there was a way for him to slip in a reason to leave. Because, holy shit, this was a piss poor excuse for a date.

He looked back over at the long line forming at the door, knowing you would die to have a cup of the wildberry lavender flavor. You were a big fan of Jeni’s Ice Cream and always gave him grief whenever he went without you. It was kind of funny how your face would screw up as you yelled at him for being a traitor. He nearly chuckled at the memory. 

And it suddenly hit him that he was way more concerned with his thoughts of you.

How your date was going.

Where you were.

If you were available.

Fuck having a good enough reason to leave.

“Can we go?”

You basically sprinted to your car, barely registering how rude you had just been. You didn’t say goodbye, didn’t even give them an excuse. But you argued to, well, yourself that telling them some shitty excuse would be ruder than not saying anything at all. 

All you wanted was to talk to Eddie and tell him about how awful your date was. How mean Gertrude was and how confused you were about what the hell you’d done to deserve their scrutiny.

Sighing, you scrambled into the front seat and tossed your phone onto the passenger seat.  Pulling out Eddie’s guitar pick, you tried to calm yourself down. You studied the brand, the tiny tortoise outline with the shell replaced with the Tortex brand name. It read that it was a Dunlop, 50mm. Smooth. Thin. The kind Eddie always said he preferred, always said it hit the strings so magically. Said it rang out the bottom E string, like it was trying to reach the heavens and got there every time. 

And there was your eyeliner, ruining it.

You shook your head, resigning to the fact that you probably should just go home and isolate yourself for a while. Try and figure out how the hell you were supposed to be normal around Eddie and Steve the next time you saw them together.

Is that how it’s going to be now? you wondered, feeling nausea pool in your stomach. Are they going to be a package deal? Is that something I could survive?

For how long?

Before you could even start your car, your phone started going off. As soon as you saw Eddie’s picture pop up, you let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey,” he breathed, sounding as exhausted as you felt.

“Hey, hello,” you replied, trying to calm yourself down. “Hi. I was actually about to call you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. I just had the worst date ever,” you grumbled, trying to rub the eyeliner off the pick.

“Me, too.”

You sat up straighter, shoving the pick back in your pocket. “Really?”

“God, yeah. I’m never going to Jeni’s without you again.”

“You went to Jeni’s without me?” With Steve, you felt like adding. 

But you were going to be good. Just this once.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Like I said, I’m never going without you ever again.” You let out an irritated huff. “Listen, Weirdo, would you mind if I came over and we took some edibles and, like, watched a movie?”

Thank God.    

“Yes, please.”

“See you in twenty?”

You smiled. “See you in twenty. Traitor.”

Eddie had gotten back to your apartment at the same time as you, both fighting for the closest parking spot with playful honks. You may have almost hit his van. And he could (maybe) admit that he almost deserved it.

“That’s rude,” he said as he hopped down from the van. “That’s just—”

He stopped as he finally got a look at you. Because it wasn’t even fair anymore, the way you just being you flustered him. Just standing next to your car with a simple Joan Jett t-shirt tucked into a short skirt and black Converse. Some sword earrings. And fishnets. Fucking fishnets.

Did he mention that you were wearing a different pair than the night before?

How many do you fucking own?

“That’s just what?” you asked, looking confused.

Eddie had to get a grip. He couldn’t keep doing this, couldn’t keep losing his focus whenever you were around. Hell, he was already losing his focus when you weren’t. When you were looking like this, it made everything worse. Much, much worse. 

He shook his head before poking your shoulder. “Extremely rude.”

You rolled your eyes and swatted his hand away, starting the short walk up to your apartment. “Hey, you asked me to hang and then you tried to steal my favorite parking spot? Where are your manners?”

“I think we both know I lost those years ago.”

“Okay, weirdo,” you said.

“Uh, what did you just call me?” Eddie asked playfully, clasping his hand over his chest. 

A giggle escaped your lips as you ascended the stairs, making his smile widen.

“You heard me!” you exclaimed as you quickened your pace up the steps. “And I will not be taking it back!”

The two of you bickered like always, going back and forth with seemingly no end to each bit that you started and never truly seemed to finish. Sometimes it felt like he couldn’t help himself around you, always excited to hear what you had to say or what you wanted to do. Anything you wanted, because any opportunity to be around you was an opportunity worth taking.

You decided to heat up leftover soup for you both, maneuvering around the kitchen while you complained about the weather and your upstairs neighbor who was taking all the warm water these days despite the scorching heat.

Eddie wouldn’t admit it, but he was having a hard time paying attention to your words. How could he when your hands were waving around the air and putting your hair up? How in the hell was he supposed to pay attention when you decided to run chapstick over your lips? Or when you bent down to take your shoes off, skirt riding up just enough to reveal the lining of red underwear? And how was he supposed to feel normal when you were wearing the cutest fucking socks, with black cats sporting witch hats next to a brewing cauldron? 

“I’m gonna go pick out a movie,” Eddie said suddenly, backing away from the kitchen.

“Oh, yeah,” you said absentmindedly as you fiddled with the microwave. “That’s a really good idea. What’re you gonna put on?”

“No idea,” he lied. “Absolutely no idea.”

After you finished the chickpea and sausage soup, you and Eddie popped 10mg Delta-9 gummies and decided to chill on the couch. As soon as Eddie pressed play on your remote, you immediately knew it was the opening to When Harry Met Sally. Like always. 

But it wasn’t like you were paying attention. If anything, you were talking over it like you were in a crowded room. Small talk here and there until you were unable to keep your questions to yourself.

“So, you said your date with Steve didn’t go well,” you said. “Do you want to maybe talk about it?”

Eddie groaned, throwing his hands over his face. You may have taken the opportunity to stare at him, how his tattoos were visible. He’d shown up in his jean jacket but discarded it as if he was taunting you with only a black tank top and jeans. His guitar pick necklace around his neck. Rings. Threaded bracelets and watch. That fucking nail polish…

Focus, you told yourself. Just focus.

“I don’t know…” he trailed, biting his lip.

“I’ll share mine if you share yours,” you suggested.

A sigh left his lips before he gave in. “He thought it was predictable that I liked black and Halloween.”

“Has he even met you?” you asked, scoffing. “Of course you do. That’s, like, your whole thing. It’s not predictable, it’s just who you are.”

“I know! It was so weird. We’ve known each other since high school. I don’t know how he didn’t know that already. Rob knows more than him, apparently.”

“She’s extremely observant,” you noted.

Too observant.

“That’s a good...observation.” Now it was your turn to groan, making Eddie laugh before he added, “Now’s your turn, Weirdo.”

Well, I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time. So what does that say about me?

“I got absolutely slammed for my shitty 2000s comedies.”

“But Michael Cera is a visionary…” he trailed, confused.

“Well, apparently they’re all problematic and I’m damaging our community.”

Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Whatever. So is everything else. Besides, you don’t even laugh at the bad stuff. It’s like eating around a bad food you like. It’s not like the whole plate is bad, right? Most of it’s good.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” you exclaimed, throwing your hand up. “It’s like eating at Waffle House. You know it’s not going to be the best meal you’ve ever had, but damn if those waffles don’t hit the spot every time. Especially when you’re fucked up.”

“You get it! You may be the smartest person I’ve met.”

“Or maybe the dumbest.”

“Nah, you’re pretty intelligent…when you want to be.”

“Ouch!” you said, grabbing one of your throw pillows and whacking him with it. “Take that.”

Before you could take another shot, he took the pillow from you and hit you back. “You deserved that one, Weirdo.”

You fell into gentle laughter, shaking your head at him before you sighed and leaned your head on the back cushion. Eddie readjusted, also leaning his head back so he could make eye contact with you. He wrapped his arms around the pillow, hugging it to his chest.

For a moment, you just kind of sat there and looked at him. Watched his eyes flicker back and forth between yours while you did the same. Studied the brown, the way his pupils dilated as you kept staring at each other. You couldn’t say how long that lasted before you finally said something.

“I just don’t think it’s supposed to be this hard.”

 “What, dating?” he asked, tightening his grasp on the pillow.

“Yeah.”

He nodded, letting out a hum. “I don’t think so, either.”

You looked away from Eddie’s gaze to find him fiddling with the pillow’s black fringe, clearly anxious about something. It was exactly how he played with his lighter or tapped his leg. Rapid, incessant. Finding his bearings through the texture as if it could keep his attention longer than a few seconds.

And then he said your name, bringing your eyes back to his.

“Should I keep seeing Steve?” he asked.

This time you were the one readjusting, feeling yourself scoot even closer to him. Your legs were touching, the blanket seeming to slip halfway off you two. But neither of you moved to fix it. 

“Does Steve make you happy?”

“I…I don’t know.” He let out a staggered breath. “I think so.”

And you tried not to, but your leg was slipping further down his calf. Blanket be damned—you were already starting to burn.

“Tell me something. Why do you always put When Harry Met Sally on?” you asked, trying to steer away from the subject of Steve Harrington. Trying to distract yourself from the heat building inside you. Trying to distract yourself from thinking something stupid. “I thought the second Lord of the Rings movie was your favorite. The Two Towers.”

He shrugged. “No, yeah. The Two Towers is my favorite. I just think I’ve just always related to When Harry Met Sally. Always missing my chances, opportunities. Always just one step away from getting what I want.”

Was Eddie getting…closer?

You raised an eyebrow. “Missing your chances?”

And why was he staring at your mouth?

“Yeah.”

But weren’t you also staring at his?

“Are you, um, Harry?” you asked, trying to keep yourself from doing something stupid. “Or are you Sally?”

Why was he so close to making you do something stupid?

“Depends on the day,” he said, softer this time.

And why was he leaning closer, searching your eyes for some kind of confirmation that this was okay?

And why were you about to let him?

“What do you want?” you asked, barely above a whisper.

Eddie didn’t answer, the hum of Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal being the only sound left in the room other than your shared breathing. 

“What has she done? She makes desserts.”

It was growing heavier the closer he got to you, maybe the closest you’d ever been since you met. And it was so strange, the way he affected you.

“You all went to a Met game together?”

Your fingers reached out, searching for his. Found it on his thigh, also reaching for yours. Fingers touching, itching to twine. And it was so strange, the way he moved you.

“But Sally hates baseball.”

And there Eddie was, leaning in more and more, his breath seeming to intoxicate you the more it fanned over your face.

“Harry doesn’t even like sweets.”

But it was dangerous, the way he could break you.

His lips just barely brushed yours before you pulled back.

“No,” you said.

“What?” Eddie asked, leaning back. “Are you okay?”

All you could think about was Steve. Eddie literally just told you he was happy with Steve and then he was going to, what, kiss you? What business did he have doing that? And what business did you have being a homewrecker?

“I think you should go,” you said sternly, throwing the blanket off and standing.

Eddie looked up at you like he was confused. As if he wasn’t just trying to do something incredibly stupid.

“What? Really?”

You walked over to the opposite end of the living room, desperate to stay the hell away from him. Because there was some part of you that was wondering how stupid kissing him would really be. But maybe if you stayed as far away from him as possible, you wouldn’t be tempted. You couldn’t be. 

“Yep.”

Eddie shook his head, standing. “What just happened here?” he asked. “Like, seriously.”

You shook your head. “I just want you to go, Eddie. Okay?”

“No, not okay. Jesus H Christ,” he huffed, throwing the pillow on the couch. “You can’t just kick me out and not even tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

“You should figure that one out for yourself. You’re probably too high anyway,” you said, maybe a little too bitterly.

“It was only ten milligrams,” he emphasized. “And maybe, just maybe, I need to be given some clear fucking communication.”

“You’ll figure it out.” 

He gave you a hard stare. “Really? Is this really what you’re doing right now?”

“What?” you pushed. “What am I doing?”

Say it, you thought. Eddie, please just say it.

“Maybe you should figure that one out for yourself,” he mocked.

And before you could figure out how to respond, Eddie turned away from you. He stomped over to the kitchen counter, grabbing his keys and wallet before walking towards the door.

“For the record,” he said, turning back to look at you in the eye. “I’m completely sober. You of all people should know I have a high tolerance.”

Eddie opened the door and slammed it right behind him.

Eddie couldn’t stop his thoughts firing at a rapid pace as he nearly sprinted to the van. He was going to pass out, he was so sure of it this time. Hell, he was dying. He had to be dying. There was no way he was going to survive this.

The kiss. The fucking kiss. He was going to kiss you. He was actually going to do it.

Eddie’s fingers trembled as he tried to unlock the driver’s side. But the keys slipped from his fingers, clanging onto the asphalt. 

“Fuck,” he whispered, barely able to fight against whatever was grabbing hold of his throat and tightening its grasp. Shaking his head, he leaned his back against the driver’s side door. “Shit.”

Eddie clutched his chest for real this time, feeling his heart race. The panic was flooding his system, tears pricking at his eyes as he tried to focus on the breeze. The white noise of it moving through the trees. The stupid fucking squirrel nearly getting run over as someone barreled through the speed bumps. Your fucking Halloween socks.

This was going wrong. All of it. Every single last scrap of dignity he had was gone. He blew it. He fucking blew it.

If he was stronger, he would turn back around and bang on your door. Demand that you talk about this and tell you how your shared avoidance was going to be the death of any and all chance at a relationship. Kiss you the way he knew he could, knew he would. 

Because there was no way, no way, that nothing was happening between you two. 

He knew it. You knew it.

If only he was strong enough.

And it was occurring to him that he didn’t feel this way about Steve. If anything, he could never feel this way about him. And, frankly, he was starting to truly understand that it had nothing to do with Steve. It was everyone. He would never be able to feel this way about anyone else.

This time, Eddie couldn’t shake that off.

This time, Eddie knew that something had to change.

You couldn’t help but hope he’d turn back. That he’d walk right back in and kiss you the way you knew he could, knew he would if he wanted you like that. And maybe he did want to kiss you, you couldn’t say. But why would he continue to see Steve, bringing him up in nearly every conversation if he wanted you? What would be the point of that?

You were more confused than ever, finding yourself haunted by the scene playing on the TV behind you.

“What’s the matter with me?” Sally exclaimed.

“Nothing,” Harry said softly.

“I’m difficult!”

“You’re challenging,” he countered.

You fell back on the couch, sobbing as you listened to Harry and Sally go back and forth, nearly taunting you with how fucking accurate it was. How fucking accurate everything around you was, from music to movies and back again. 

“No, no, no! I drove him away!”

This was your fault, and now you had to live with those pesky little consequences you hadn’t thought of. You drove Eddie away and now you had no idea how much longer you had before he would fade into a stranger, a fever dream of what once was. And a reminder of what could’ve been.

[bleed-more]

My Updated Headcanons for Seth Wilson

Since a lot of my attention is on Seth right now, I'm writing some updated headcanons for him with things I've learned over the past 4 years! I'm starting with my HCs with evidence and will write my HCs without evidence later >:3c

HEADCANONS WITH EVIDENCE:

- Seth's dog name is Link (Joseph mentioned in a livestream that's Seth the actor's dog's name so in typical MH fashion I imagine dog actor Link also plays dog character Link)

- Seth is about as tall as Brian (this isn't even really a hc but I used to draw him short so I wanted to clear that up)

- Seth did all the TTA entries that include fried images and red motifs (based off of Night Mind's theory that Tim-themed entries are black and white, Brian-themed entries are stereoscopic, and Seth-themed entries are deep-fried/red. They used these colors to both communicate who's speaking AND to let the recipient know who the message is for.)

- Seth used to be Christian but fell out of it by Season 2 (I think Seth is responsible for all the Christian iconography in the first season i.e. stigmata, ark, deluge, etc. considering neither Brian nor Tim were part of TTA yet, and he slowly abandons that faith because.......)

- ...Seth thinks he is a messiah of some kind (from TTA's "Forecast" where he says "AMIAPROPHET." [TW DEAD ANIMALS & ANIMAL CRUELTY FR PLS READ WITH CAUTION] Forecast uses footage from the USSR's "Experiments in the Revival of Organisms: 1940" in which you see a disembodied dog's lung being inflated and deflated by a machine in an effort to keep a dismembered dog's head alive. I don't think it's a coincidence TTA used a dismembered dog to refer to Seth ((or what Seth has become)) and that Seth is both alive(-ish) and has saved others from death, but only in the same fucked up corrupted way you see in the USSR's footage. Which leads me to...)

[END TW]

- ...Seth is trapped somewhere between the line of life and death and is sticking around for the unfinished business of revenge killing Alex (in the TTA entries, while many things are convoluted and unclear, one thing that is very consistent is TTA's hatred of Alex. Seth is vengeful for the death of himself, the attempted and successful murders of his friends. From TTA's "Decay" where Seth is clearly addressing Alex, he says "HE[Jay] WILL LEAD ME[Seth] TO YOU[Alex], LEAD ME TO DEATH[because his job will be done then], LEAD ME TO THE ARK[salvation and an end to his and Alex's suffering])

- Seth is the one responsible for Brian, Tim, and Jay surviving during Alex's first murder attempt (Alex couldn't bring himself to *actually* kill his friends back in 2006, so he lured them to the park and used blunt force trauma to knock them unconscious hoping leaving them for dead out in the park would be enough. Seth, however, had already caught on that something was wrong after Sarah's disappearance (I am going to write a whole thing about this eventually hehehe) and so he knew to be at the park, and after Alex left them, Seth made sure they were safe (there is also info I have here about a lake but that's worth a whole other post, send an ask if you're curious <3)

- And finally, Seth had been well ahead of everyone else in figuring out what was going on (Seth was the camera and tech guy, so it would make sense he would be the first to see what's happening on these cameras, and investigating what might be causing all of this. Seth was the one who coined the term OPERATOR. He understood Alex's actions were being influenced by this creature Seth was seeing while editing Marble Hornets. And I also think Alex knew Seth was catching onto his murder attempts, and that's why Alex took no chances and shot Seth (the first instance of Alex using a gun in the series) instead of hitting him over the head with a pipe and leaving him for the Operator like the others.)

I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY OF YOUR OWN THEORIES THIS WAS REALLY FUN TO WRITE AND I CANT WAIT TO MAKE PART 2 <3

[somewhereinaburstofglory]

“Without being able to exchange a single word, we would enjoy one another's company. We would be glad that we could not talk as, in silence, we would manage to prolong that childish excitement that cannot be put into words anyway, that sweet, slow grope for acquaintanceship in which every moment is the most precious failure.”

Seth Fried, “The Misery of the Conquistador”, The Great Frustration

[t0ast-ghost]

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home thoughts!!!

Love me some good ol’ treks and I know this is the one with the whales (which reminds me of hitchhikers guide to the galaxy)

Warning for spoiling the whole movie (don’t cry over spoiled movie if you don’t have to! Go watch it for yourself!)

Let’s get going:

- A LEONARD NIMOY FILM ?!?

- okay Harve Bennett. I see you in the credits.

- I like the Saratoga crew. Too bad they’re probably gonna die immediately

- HIII SAREK!!! God he’s hot I hate him so much

- “Personal bias! His son was saved by Kirk.” His son is also married to Kirk so…

- McCoy got to choose the name of the ship :))

- Kirk’s wearing the same shirt.. oh wait they all are nvm

- Spock on a rock

- Hi Amanda!

- “Spock, the retraining of your mind has been in the Vulcan way so you may not understand feelings, but as my son, you have them.”

- Amanda trying to tell Spock that his friends care about him so much that they go against what is logical and it mirrors how in journey to babel Spock was not willing to sacrifice the good of the many (the ship) for the good of the one (his father) so I’m wondering if they will have an arc for him realizing that sometimes you want the one and not the many

- I like the problems they keep having with projectors/videos. Or not exactly problems but in the beginning they had to ask multiple times for the video to stop playing and here they are just talking over the transmission in the background. It adds a sense of confusion and havoc that I think makes it delightfully more realistic

- The Bird of Prey is such a beautiful design

- “I did not wish to be shot down on the way to our own funeral.” lol nice Chekov

- Nooo Spock and Saavik don’t have the mentor/mentee vibes anymore :(((

- Kirk really wants Spock to call him Jim… he misses his husband :(

- Bones is right. And then he leaves Kirk with the “That’s what I thought.” And the entire bridge crew is just like ‘don’t engage, look away, the husbands are fighting but just don’t look.’

- The copy pasted Saavik and Amanda

- “Hi. Busy?” McCoy sliding over to Spock

- McCoy just say you’re happy he’s back. He misses his verbal sparring buddy omg

- “Forgive me, Doctor, I’m receiving a number of distress calls.” McCoy is SHOCKED like, ‘did he just purposely reject me???’ I’m crying

- sad! Your husband died and now he doesn’t want to fight with you!!

- hi bitch! (It’s Sarek)

- THEY PUT EYELINER ON CHEKOV!

- THE PROBE SOUNDS LIKE WHALES ???

- so the transmission is for whales. That’s cool.

- Uhura would make a sick DJ. She’s remixing the whale sounds

- “Bones, you stay here.” “No way. Somebody’s got to keep an eye on him.” He’s trying to look out for his husbands

- love sci fi that is like ‘sea creatures interacting with space hmmm yess I think it will’ cause if you think about it, there’s a lot of sea that is unexplored just like space (yeah I’m talking about HGttG again)

- SPOCK SAYS SAVE THE FUCKING WHALES

- McCoy DOES NOT want them to travel back in time

- HII CHAPEL HIIII

- The chaos in the control room with someone on the screen talking over everyone else in the room… perfection

- Sometimes Kirk sounds like Seth Macfarlane

- “You really gonna try time travel in this rust bucket?” “We’ve done it before.” “Sure. Slingshot around the sun, pick up enough speed and you’re in time warp. If you don’t, you’re fried.” “You prefer to do nothing?” “I prefer a dose of common sense. You’re proposing that we go backwards in time, find humpback whales, then bring them froward in time, drop them off, and hope to hell they tell this probe what to go do with itself.” “That’s the general idea.” “Well, that’s crazy.” “You have a better idea? Now’s the time.” Yep. That summarizes it better than I could ever. How McCoy stays married to this man is a mystery

- The command base hears that Kirk is going to time travel and PANICS

- “May fortune favour the foolish.” Good Kirk line

- The ship is actively falling apart

- They’re back in time!

- Sulu lore! he was born in sanfransico or however you spell it

- McCoy trying not to laugh at Spock’s little bandana. Kirk smiles for a second and then remembers himself

- THEYRE IN THE WILD! SET LOSE! Who let them roam free?!

- Winchell’s Donut House. Wonder if that’s still open. Or real. Damn, I want donuts.

- Kirk almost getting run over “Well a double dumbass on you!” And then he throws up his hands omg I love him

- They’re all slaying

- “The rest of you, break up. You look like a cadet review.” They’re all kinda lost tho

- Spock in the pawn shop is looking like, ‘those were a birthday present from our husband. Why would you give them away :(‘

- Kirk and his powerful skills of deduction. He won’t let Spock just infodump :(

- They’re all really good looking.

- UHURA AND CHEKOV TEAM UP! Something I didn’t know I needed (I need it)

- NO LITTLE RUSSIAN BOY! Don’t ask for directions from a cop to a nuclear weapons base in the 1980s!

- SPOCK NERVE PINCHING THE PUNK ON THE BUS LOL

- “No one pays attention to you unless you swear every other word.” WELL. Okay. I’m not offended. At all.

- Spock frowning at the whales dying on the screen

- “To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.” There’s a lot of times you think ‘Vulcans can be emotionless which could equal cruelty’ but looking at this, humans with emotions turn out more cruel because that is an emotion. We want and are greedy. It’s surprising that Vulcans are friends with humans because of just how much illogical carnage we have wrought. Anyway.

- Hey Jim. Where’s Spock?

- Kirk becoming more and more worried that he can’t find Spock. And then he turns around AND HES IN THE TANK.. this is why McCoy wants to come along. Jim cannot watch him well enough

- Spock’s ass can’t believe he went in there to mind meld with the whales

- Sopping wet Spock

- “The hell they did.” SPOCK SWEAR OMG

- “Can’t you remember?” “The hell I can’t.” I love him so much, he’s being a little shit, this is on purpose. I think writers should let him say hell and other expletives more often

- “Oh come on, Bob! I don’t know about you, but my compassion for someone is not limited to my estimate of their intelligence.” DID YALL IN THE BACK HEAR THIS???

- Uhura and Chekov on the beach with the seagulls

- Gillian’s got a “I ❤️ whales” sticker on her truck. I love her.

- “I think he did a little to much LDS.” I think Kirk meant to say Spock does LSD? I’m assuming?

- This lady just picked up two husbands trying to save the whales.. that’s very lucky for her

- “Are you sure it isn’t time for a colourful metaphor.” LET SPOCK SAY FUCK

- “You guys like Italian?” Spock and Kirk proceeding to fight by saying no and yes repeatedly is my favourite

- They’re just letting Scotty and McCoy roam around???

- I love McCoy and Scotty improvising together, and Scotty going off and getting upset

- “May my assistant join us?” “Don’t bury yourself in the part.”

- Sulu just gets to nerd out about helicopters

- McCoy sitting on any and all surfaces like it’s a chair. Scotty joining him.

- McCoy handing Scotty the mouse like he’s so proud of himself

- McCoy’s got his ✨dazzling✨ eyes on rn

- “We’d be altering the future.” “Well, how do you know he didn’t invent the thing.” Scotty. That’s not how time travel works.

- So basically McCoy gets Jim and Spock out of trouble but gets into trouble when he’s with Scotty

- THEYRE JUST LEAVING SPOCK IN THE PARK oh wait he’s going to the ship

- Get yourself a partner who would cry over whales

- “I’m from Iowa, I only work in outer space.” This man smh

- Oh no. Get Chekov out of there. Holy shit.

- “Must be the radiation.” He proceeds to throw the phaser at the guy and then runs out the door

- Gillian not afraid to slap Bob over whales

- Did- did Sulu steal a helicopter? Yes. Yes he did.

- Gillian sees Spock with his ears and eyebrows and she’s like ‘yeah makes sense’

- “Admiral, may I suggest that Dr. McCoy is correct?” Spock agrees with McCoy. 208 dead, 15 injured

- Gillian is surrounded by the polycule. She just wants her whales to be safe.

- McCoy is literally the best. He saw this person suffering and then immediately helped

- “Uh, excuse me, we’ll take that.” They steal the gurney and Gillian immediately hops onto it. I love her.

- “This woman has immediate postprandial upper abdominal distension.” “What did you say she’s got?” “Cramps” McCoy saw the security and went ‘Yep they’re stupid’ he didn’t even bother with a proper lie

- In an argument between a 20th century doctor and McCoy, I would bet McCoy any and every time

- I love when McCoy is just.. appalled at old medicine

- Chekov slowly regaining awareness and he lifts his head only for Kirk to push his face down with a, ‘not now, Pavel.’

- I like how the crew right now have been using Chekov’s first name and are protective of him.

- Sulu immediately being there to help Chekov get back on the ship 🥺🥺🥺

- This woman is so into whales that she would time travel for them

- Is McCoy sitting on the console and leaning over it to talk to talk to Spock? Yes, yes he is.

- “Well, then you’re just gonna have to take your best shot.” “Best shot?” “Guess, Spock.” “Guessing is not in my nature, Doctor.” “Well, nobody’s perfect.” He lets that last line drawl and then stares at Spock for a little too long. That’s flirting.

- That was the most intense countdown. I felt like something might happen to the whales within those ten seconds and I was worried

- “So I will make a… guess.” McCoy is rubbing off on Spock

- “No, Spock. He [Kirk] means that he feels safer about your guesses than most other people’s facts.” Hehe

- She was so happy just staring at her whales but then Kirk goes and interrupts that

- “I belong here, I am a whale biologist.” They are so lucky that they ran into someone THIS interested in whales

- McCoy resists the urge to just look at Spock when they’re travelling back to their time

- I like how there’s a hatch leading outside on the bridge… of a spaceship.

- forgot how hot Kirk’s poofy sleeves are

- They have a scene where everyone just gets absolutely drenched

- I’m so glad they didn’t have subtitles for the whales and probes. It’s more realistic for the universe. Starfleet doesn’t know what they’re saying, the crew doesn’t know what they’re saying, we shouldn’t know what they’re saying. It’s not how the universe works.

- They’re cheering for whales. I love when people cheer for things

- They’re all playing in the water omg this is adorable

- hi bitch (Sarek)

- Jim walks in with McCoy right behind him and Spock goes to join them from where he’s sitting

- I love Scotty’s little moustache it’s so :<

- McCoy is NOT listening, he’s got like nyan cat theme playing in his head

- THEY GAVE HIM COMMAND OF A STARSHIP FOR DISOBEYING ORDERS?!?

- I think McCoy should run up to Spock and Kirk and get them to kiss here

- Scott and Sulu arguing over which ship they think they’ll get <3

- McCoy is leaning so sluttily on the new bridge

The credits just showing pictures of each of the cast is adorable

See ya on the flip flop

Masterpost

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

I had a funny idea inspired by a tiktok trend where girls would get their nails painted the same color as their bf's tip

What would the different characters reactions be to their listeners having lip gloss/lipstick the same color as their tip?

Tiktok trend.

Alphonse

OH YOUR A FREEAAKKK?? Dw he lowkey into that.

But also is so amazed you found a color closed to his tip. He likes how the nails look bc they also have lil candy charms on them.

If you found a lipgloss/lipstick he lowkey can't help but stare at your lips. And how they looked wrapped around his dick

Seth

.....HUH??? Really surprised that he didn't know what to say for a quick minute.

When...when did you find out what color his tip was??? Did....did you show someone to find it????

The nails are cute don't get him wrong but....HIS DICK TIP COLOR FOR THEM???? AND A LIPGLOSS TOO??? SCOUT WTF-

Charlie

His face is bright red. CASPER OH MY??? I- UM....OKAY???

Blushes everything he sees your nails, he can't help but want your hands all over him.

Don't even get him on the lipgloss cause now he has a boner bc of it.

Finn

His brain got fried and now is bright red. Sun...Sunflower I'm sorry I think I heard you wrong?....No? I didn't? Oh! OHMYGODDESSIHEARDYOURIGHT??

Can't look at your hands or face or he'll flush bright red every. Single. Time. Teasing him is easy with the nails and gloss.

He likes how they look on you when he finally does look at them fort he first time. But now he's hot and bothered so can we go to the back please-

Faust

He's seen the tiktok trend and was wondering if you were gonna do it. Ngl he at first teased you saying you couldn't get enough of his dick.

But is a bit flustered by it, bc now when ever he looks at your hands and lips he's reminded of his dick and all the times y'all fucked-

Might get back at you and do the same thing. I mean both know that the color means something everyone else doesn't know.

Auron

You what- My dick tip color? Really? Wow Rookie how bold of you. Not surprised but is interested on how you found the color.

He's freaky and might be into it too ngl. Whore. But anyways he likes how the nails look and now he wants to kiss your lips more.

This is giving him ideas bc no one else knows except you two. Might tease you by wanting a picture with your hand wrapped around his dick to have when he's feeling 'needy'.

Lucien

Angel are you secretly a succubus and haven't told him yet? He teases you bc you act more sinful than him most of the time.

Likes how the nails look, maybe they'll look better when your sucking him off while stroking him?

Also will not let you leave the apartment bc of your lipgloss. Want the color that bad? Come over here Angel baby.

Jack

Frozen and blinking rapidly, wow...Buddy didn't know *ahem* you liked the color that much!

He's super shy about it and feels like he's overheating looking at the nails and your lips.

But he's also curious how you found the color so quickly? He might also know the trend from people he works with showing him things.

[lurinatftbn]

If you’re down to answer another question like the music one, what are the characters’ favorite in-universe cuisines/culinary preferences? Or, are there any fun reasons why some characters like/dislike certain things as we see in the glossary?

Off the top of my head:

Utsu dislikes fish because it's ubiquitous in Itan cuisine and had a lot of it served to her poorly-prepared as a kid. I think it comes up in the text at some point, but her favorite food is layered pasta dishes like lasagna. (I know what you're thinking, and no, I didn't do it on purpose.)

Kam is a vegan, but obviously only for health reasons since they don't slaughter animals for meat in the setting. She likes very spicy food like chilis and curry - her favorite is stuffed jalapenos. She also likes crepes.

Ran also kinda likes spicy food, but isn't super passionate about cuisine and mostly just goes for low-effort stuff. She eats a lot of stir fry and dumplings.

Theo also worries about his longer-term health which is why he's on a low-carb diet, but renders this pointless by eating tons of chocolate and sweets all the time. He likes hot fudge cakes the best.

Ptolema just really likes meat. Her favorite is just a really well-seasoned blue steak, probably with blue cheese, and she also probably really enjoys whatever the equivalent of brazilian barbecue is.

I don't think I ever decided what foods Seth likes best except that he eats a lot of junk food. I do remember deciding at some point that he really likes almonds despite being allergic to them.

Ophelia is a pescetarian for cultural reasons. Beyond that, she loves trying all sorts of foods, though shellfish and mushrooms are her favorite ingredients.

Lilith is a hyper-picky eater and doesn't like most vegetables or anything too complicated or mixed together. She probably most enjoys very simple things like chicken nuggets, and only takes small bites so she isn't overwhelmed.

As comes up in the story, Bardiya is a recovering alcoholic, which is the reason for his preference note. I think I put somewhere that kebabs are his favorite food.

Ezekiel dislikes onions because of their slimy and crunchy texture. He likes really straightforward food like Sunday roasts, which in-setting would mean he prefers Rhunbardic cuisine, though he'd never admit it.

Fang will eat anything under the sun, but also doesn't care that much about food in the grand scheme of things. Left to their own devices, they will cook everything into some kind of omelette and think it's great.

Linos doesn't like shellfish because, like Su, he ate a lot of it prepared badly when he was young. He enjoys participating in prestige/fine dining, especially for Ysaran and Viraaki food, more for the sense of being part of a cultural moment than the actual flavor.

Neferuaten likes foods like beyaynetu (or, like, pizza) designed specifically to be eaten communally. On her own she mostly just eats salad, though she has extremely specific opinions about wine and whiskey.

Durvasa likes to grow and preserve his own food, and his favorite is dal soup. He also has extremely specific opinions, though only about whiskey. He doesn't like red meat because he dislikes the idea that he's eating the flesh of a one-living being, even if it's replicated.

Zeno technically does not have a diet, and is sustained nutritionally by other means. He enjoys the taste of very indulgent foods like foie gras and controversial food like cultured human meat. He thinks Viraaki food is 'stinky' and 'greasy'.

Hamilcar does not eat except with company, which is why his entry says N/A. He can't taste food in the way he could when he was young, and he finds it upsetting.

Anna enjoys sushi, but is too old to eat much at all.

Mehit theoretically likes the kind of high-concept Saoic cuisine described by Ran early in the story, but is not a very good cook, so mostly eats things like baked potatoes and fried rice. This is partly why Lilith is the way she is, but only like, 20%.

Balthazar skips breakfast because otherwise he ends up overeating, since he's the type who can just keep going long beyond what's healthy. He's the sort of person who enjoys bizarre high-calorie flavors like fried squid dipped in ice cream.