#sexy garp

[gildedmuse]

If the Marines are really desperate for recruits just put up a poster of Garp and Bogard. You will get SO MANY APPLICATIONS

[glotoru]

people say, “oh older men are so hot!”, but when i say garp is fine i’ll be ridiculed

[lale-txt]

me being only slightly older than luffy makes it very difficult. cuz I wanna be out here getting a new back brace cuz of Garp the Sexy and I fucking KNOW fluffy would call me grandma.

"oh you with gramps? your grammy now" LIKE IM ONLY THREE YEARS OLDER THAN YOU. IF IM FUCKING 'GRAMMY', THEN ROBIN IS LIKE GREAT GREAT GRAMMY. YOU GUMMY FUCK.

you @ Luffy when he calls you a grandma one time too often

[redrex-64]

My characters in Naruto

[honeyshiddendesire]

Pet Name Headcannons Masterlist

Sexy and Everyday 

A lot are redundant but like oh well lol 😂 I only have so much brain power lol 😂 🙄🙄

WARNINGS: 18+

*This is from my old account so it's the un-updated version since I first wrote it on Google Docs then like a dumbass kept updating on Tumblr lol *

This will be a MASTERLIST of snippets/one shots of them using the pet names!!!

Luffy - mami, mamas, mama, Y/N (I can not stress enough how much he would repeat your name!!) 

Zoro- woman, brat, whore, little girl, princess (in a taunting way-polar opposite to Sanji)

Sanji- my love, princess, daddy’s girl, good girl, pretty girl, mommy

Usopp- mami, babe, baby girl, baby, honey

Franky- darlin, sweetheart, honey, sweetie, baby, pretty lady

Law- baby girl, princess, my love, babe, Y/N (with how hot his voice is he would love saying your name!) 

Eustass- baby girl, kitten, pipsqueak, cock slut, bug, little mamas, cumdump, cry baby 

Killer- darlin, princess, baby girl, little one, baby

Doflamingo- dove, whore, messy girl , love (very rarely would he use ‘love’ but it would mean a lot) 

Sir Crocodile - baby girl, princess, my little slut

Smoker- darlin, sweetheart, love, honey, baby doll

Marco- birdie, mate, baby bird, songbird, little bird (birds birds BIRDS!) 

Thatch- honey, pumpkin, puddin, Angel cakes, sweet pea (food names cause he gives dad vibes 🤤)

Izou- my little cherry blossom, love, dear

Whitebeard-  love, dear, sweetheart, tiny thing, little thing, little one (anything pointing out his size and you can’t tell me no on this 🤣) 

Ace- darling, baby girl, princess, hot stuff, babe (firmly believe he will babe the shit outta you)

Sabo- my love, my dear, cock whore, dumb slut, bitch (just feel like he would love the harsh degradation 🤷‍♀️sorry not sorry 😬) 

Monkey D Dragon- love, dear, sweetheart (him groaning out sweetheart 😮‍💨)

Garp- little one, sweetheart, princess, bratty girl, dirty/messy girl, sweetie, darlin

Akainu- brat, princess, little girl, whore, cumslut, crybaby

Kizaru- lightning bug, my shining star, mamas, baby girl, sunshine (names involving light) 

Aokiji- ice princess, mama, babe, baby, snowflake 

Fujitora- wisteria, darling, my flower, rose, little peony, tiger lily (FLOWERS ALL DAY EVERYDAY!!! Whatever flower you can think of he’s calling you 😍🫶🏼)

Shanks- darlin, baby, baby girl, doll, baby doll, princess 

Benn- doll, baby doll, darling, love, princess

Mihawk- my dear, my love, naughty girl, princess, bloody princess (idk why I picture him speaking Spanish/ Italian saying princessa 😮‍💨😭🤤 idk if he speaks it but shit lol 😂 ) 

Buggy- superstar, rockstar, beauty queen, my diva, doll, clown whore, sugar/sugar bear (what you call him)

X Drake- mate, babe, baby girl, little one

Kaku- lil lady, sweetheart, darling, Raffe (short for giraffe 🦒)

Rob Lucci- Pretty Kitty, kitten, brat, whore, slutty kitty (no way he doesn't have a pet play fetish! ya can’t change my mind on this!)

Paulie- sweetie, pretty girl, darling, baby doll, princess, pretty mamas, my little whore, slut, naughty/dirty/messy girl (secret freak idc! I think he shamed Nami cause he’s a hidden pervert and she was making him feel some kind of way lol 😂 !)

King- my queen, my love, dear, little one, naughty thing

Kaido- little one, whore, brat, bad girl

Vinsmoke Bros- cock whore/slut, brat, woman, slutty puppy/kitty, good girl, pathetic slut, my little whore, mommy (hidden mommy kink!!!)

Red Leg Zeff- princess, sweetheart, kid, honey, doll, darling (old school lol )

*banner*

[thatoneoldguy]

How I Think Characters Would Be Like In Bed ig

An: I don't write often, but I hope I can do some of your favs justice💀 (mostly One Piece)

🔞MDNI🔞

CW: kinda smut, Headcanons

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Degrades the shit out of you because it makes you feel good:

"Ah fuck take it baby"

"Take it like the good little whore you are"

Trafalgar Law, Satoru Gojo, Geto Suguru, Roranoa Zoro, SABO, Nami, Nanami Kento, Aki Hayakawa, Tengen uzui, Portgas D Ace, Smoker, Shanks, Mihawk, BUGGY, Franky, Katakuri, Marco The Phoenix, Silvers Rayleigh, Yamato, Bell-mere, Koby (he would probably be too embarrassed unless he's feeling extra confident)

Degrades the shit out of you because it makes THEM feel good:

"Yeah? You fucking like that whore?"

"Fucking slut, take it all"

Donquixote Doflamingo, Douma, Sukana, Geto Suguru, Muzon, Crocodile, Ceaser Clown, Eustass Kid, Monet,

Mostly Grunts and Breathes Heavily:

Mihawk, Katakuri, Marco the Phoenix

Gentle Praises/whines Here and there:

"Yeah, just like that baby"

"You feel too damn good"

"you're so sexy"

Nico Robin, Sabo, Nanami Kento, Kyojuro Rengoku, Donquixote Rosinante, Shanks, Garp, Smoker, Buggy, Mihawk, Vivi Nefertari, Franky, God Usopp, Katakuri, Silvers Rayleigh, Yamato, Bartolomeo, Viola, Tashigi, Bell-mere, Koby

Absolutely over the top with moans and praises:

"God you're so fucking sexy"

"Oh fuck I love you so much"

"Please baby I need more of you~"

SANJI, ACE, Satoru Gojo, Buggy, Bartolomeo, KOBY

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

(These are all just my personal opinions on the characters) Thank you for your time 🙏

I'll probably add to this later, but for now I'm going to sleep <3

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom observation nicknames and funny tags: Part One Piece

Okay, one piece fandom it's your turn and I'm going to highlight your creativity. Again this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me. So expand post at your own risk. This one is unhinged

*updated as of May 4th with more tags and new characters

I have mentioned this before, but for some reason that is beyond me. One Piece fandom you guys refer to your characters as daddy and mommy (And it's in a kinky way) way more than any fandom. I think I should just start with the list of characters that have been labeled as such before I go into the creative names for individual characters. Because trust me who makes the list and who doesn't is actually funny.

One piece Daddy's: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Sir Crocodile, Benn Beckman, Killer, Sanji, Rayleigh, Roger, Doflamingo, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Ivankov, Arlong, Yamato, Marco, Izou, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku, Zeff, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Akainu, Blackbeard

When it comes to the One piece Mommy's: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Charlotte Smoothie, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Amande, Vice admiral doll, Catarina Devon, Ivankov & Crocodile

Now due to popular demand the new category the One Piece Babygirls: Ace, Buggy, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro, Ussop, Marco, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Bepo, Killer, Mihawk, Shanks, Perona, Yamato, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Smoker, Robin, Nami, Vivi, Jinbe, Hatchan, Roger, Zeff

Now when it comes to individual characters there have been some interesting standouts but I'm just going to do some highlights because you guys have so many characters

Ace: "Depressed sunshine orphan boy with daddy issues", "ace has that grungy line cook riz you know he lays legendary pipe", " he got goofy older brother swag", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", "Ace my greasy fire narcoleptic king", "The narcoleptic babygirl", the greasy crusty desert rat. "He would be worth the burn risk", "my favorite fire donut", "something about greasy alabasta ace hits so different", "with his riz he's probably a walking STD risk but it would be worth it. Just look at him probably also probably got a couple bastard kids running around the grand line", it's ok he's still greasy in my heart worlds most feral baby boy he looks like he eats dirt I could fix him (force him to bathe regularly)

Arlong: "Y'all are too afraid to recognize the truth too afraid of his drip, his swagger, his saw nose, to admit that he's hot also live action arlong?!?!the only sexy fishmen," "arlong looks like a toxic florida frat bro," "I legitimately think there's something wrong with me sometimes due to how bad I want arlong the rancid personality enhances the appeal", "yall are p****" arlong is sexy put some respect on his name look at those lips the laugh the hair!"

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him"

Bartolomeo: "the man hasn't showered in probably a week he's obsessed with the strawhats he'll pee anywhere and he's an absolute dweeb he's like a stray mutt that followed me home look at his fit it's AWFUL AND FABULOUS he's gross and dumb and if something bad happens to this silly barrier- creating puppy i'll LOSE IT"

Belo Betty: "True story: Belo Betty made me, an Aroace woman have a sexuality crisis."

Ben Beckman: Dilf, "retirement blorbo", "Benn Beckman is a religious experience", "to me? beckman is the character with the most sex appeal ever. raw sex appeal. I would [redacted] if I met this man. just sayin", "He can ruin my life any day of the week", "Also lest we forget pre TS Beck a++ quality right there I just want someone smart who will also hit a guy with a gun is that so much to ask for", "This p**** wants what she wants and its always going to be Benn “back breaker" Beckman", husband material, "men are like wine in order to get a good vintage you want the one that's aged", he had that sexy blind and reckless loyalty about him", "Beckman is a fine aged vintage of wine as men should be", "DEAR GOD the things I WOULD DO to that man LIKE [redacted] and [redacted] because [redacted] and [redacted]", "idk how to explain it but he's so wife", "benn beckman? more like benn breastman ok sorry yeah anyways. said it before and ill say it again beckman exudes raw sex appeal like jesus christ. why would you not want to fuck this man ive had lesbian friends who said he would be an exception to them which is so real his tits are big he loves his captain he STUBBED HIS CIGARETTE IN A MAN'S EYE UNDER THE GUISE OF DEFENDING HIS CAPTAIN so fucking sexy mwah mwah beckman my wife you are so hot SO HOT. in conclusion benn breastman you will forever be a top sexyguy in my head oh also forgot to add. he canonically gets bitches which is so real. he could get me any day", "Oh dear I just realised I have a thing for older men with grey hair and have substance abuse issues I choose to believe lung cancer does not exist in opu", "

Buggy: Assigned clown at birth, walking disaster, "my pathetic sniveling wet clown", my Beloved, "he has blue hair and pronouns", Failboy, "the skrunkly clown", "my clown wife", "he has that fail boy cringe", "buggy has the stronger levels of foolishness and fumbling his way to success", "the cringefail clown extraordinaire buggy", "he is silly and pathetic like a bisexual divorced dad",

Catarina Devon: "my problematic lesbian sugar mommy”,

Cracker: "if Cracker just let his hair down he'd be unstoppable i fear", "get wrecked cracker", "I am so curious about the people voting for cracker let me study you please", "cracker getting murdered as expected", "you can't do my biscuit husband like that", "i find cracker really hot"

Crocodile: desert daddy, Babygirl, "He's like if tony soprano was trans", crocodaddy, crocomommy, Big titty mob boss, He's 8ft tall and I would let he ruin me,"Mr. Sandman", "the human sandcastle," "literally has sand in his britches", "son of a beach", "World's Most Expensive Sand Sculpture", "he's got 99 problems and his hook is one of them", "casino blorbo", "I would subject myself to sandburn any day for THE SIR FUCKING CROCODILE Anakin Skywalker don't go here because I WOULD love sand if it was like 8 feet tall and had a voice like that absolutely rabid he could stick his sand in so many places and I'd thank him crocodile is one of those guys i wanted to hate so bad and then went actually no i want this guy carnally Crocodile has some weird rizz goin on and i need to climb that sandcastle", "I'm so sorry but I need to eat crocodile's pussy", "With Sir Crocodile you can have Sex on the Beach. Literally. Plus he owns a casino so you could probably sip on the cocktail version too...while getting some cocktail.", "mafia vibes and style", "crocodile's got style. class. you will be wined and dined in the most exquisite way you can imagine", "He's got DADDY vibes", " One handsome mafia boss", "I love crocodile but also i wanna punch him and i feel like hes got the sandiest pussy/dick that shit will give me a rash", "my evilest baby boy", "Crocodile invented evil trans swag just saying", "im sorry az but crocodile was my dilf awakening", "in Crocodilf we trust",

Dragon: "the revolutionary scrungle dragon",

Doflamingo: "Dofy's got some wierd (potentially fun) energy but he would NOT treat you well he'd be awful", "The psychopathic pimp on a shoestring budget. Seriously dude, San Diego Zoo called and they want their flamingos back. That coat is so last season.", "fashion travesty", "Doflamingo dresses like an eye test and will probably steal your credit card by the end of the night not because he needs the money. because he finds it hilarious", "Mingo is just a spoiled frat fuckboy who's too full of himself to be interested in anyone/anything else", "a balding white man", "evil florida man my beloved they dont understand you", "Budget Pimp who robbed San Diego of their world famous Flamingo flock"

Eustass Kid: Pirate punk, "He's a sopping wet loser", "a man wearing eyeliner and nailpolish is by definition hotter", "my scrungy little fuck", he would also probably give me an STD and it would still be worth it

Franky: " Three words light up nipples"

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Gol D. Roger: "the "Tom Selleck" of Pirates. He mustache'd the gold somewhere. You think these puns are bad wait until you hit my NSFW tags. Can't believe no one pointed those out yet, his name is a literal gold mine of innuendo. king of pirates? nah he's the king of rogering roger this roger that roger anyone he damn well pleases he has the D", "why does no one thirst after Gol like i do? youre all weak! cowards", "sorry but i am all about his dads mustache", " I can't be the only one that wants to ride that mustache"

Jinbe: "I wanna suck on the webbing between his fingers", does anyone else contemplate how soft Jinbe's tits are to lie on or is that just me?

Kaido: "beefcake beast of a man",

Katakuri: "I'm a monsterfucker at heart", "Katakuri is literally so good man he's a family man #he's badass he's got a great sense of honour you know I had to go for the mochi man", "donut king", "KATAKURI MY MOCHI MONSTER TEETH KING CHAMPION HUSBAND THAT I WOULD CLIMB LIKE A MOUNTAIN #I'M ALWAYS ON MY CLIMBING AGENDA WITH MY ONE PIECE KINGS!", "i just know this man would treat me right we love kata", "Kata definitely ticks that hot box"

King: "King is literally the most beautiful OP character you can't change my mind", "Gotta chose the melanin yknow", "king is so ajdhjdjdjchjd bark bark bark bark", "I saw King and decided he is my blorbo", "king of my [REDACTED]", " I know he's like 20 ft tall and I'm probably the size of his d*** but it would be worth it. I would gladly choose death by snu snu for one night with him"

Killer: "big tiddy murder boyfriend",

Marco: Bird daddy "Mr. Dr. Emotionally-Stable Scrungles", "surfer hippy electric blue glasses wing flapper", "DR. MMMMM", Fineapple

Luffy: "l am in the minority here I need luffy's gomu gomu no [REDACTED]"

Mihawk: The Vampire Pirate, Goth Dad, the sword father, Pirate Dracula, the big titty goth husband, "I think mihawk would treat you right. i want mihawk to treat me right", "I love his gay wine uncle energy", "I appreciate that he dresses Like That everywhere extra ass bitch", "hot vampire cowboy pirate", Morticia Addams, "Mihawk oozes 'step on me' energy",

Robin: "she has irresistible weird girl rizz", "big tiddy archaeologist gf"

Rosinante: "my insane clumsy tall dilf", "wife material", "he has cringefail dad swag", "rosi is everything to me actually. I would climb that tall clumsy king like a tree", "the klutzy mime", "he has that pathetic depressed clown vibe thats irresistible", "He's the epiome of strong but silent, he's the asshole with a heart of gold, he has everything", rosinante is hot tho and his clumsiness somehow enhances it", "I've said it before and I'll say it again I WOULD climb that clumsy king like a tall tree want to kiss him until his silly jester makeup is all over me too", "I am loyal to the guy who actively sets himself on fire",

Sabo: "bc he said killing woth lead pipes and then he just kept doing it its the crazy for me"

Sanji: fail wife, Cooking Daddy, "I NEED sanji to f*** me to tuesday and make me dinner before and breakfast after", "The man will feed you the best meal you've ever had and genuinely compliment something about you", "His fighting style is 'kick the problem until it goes away' and he chugs Love Women Juice", "he can cook and fight and he's damn fine while doing both"

Shanks: Margaritaville Himbo, "Dilflicious", "the deadbeat malewife wifi user", "I am a whole lesbian but if there were a butch girl version of these men I would let shanks ruin my life", "favorite guy in the local frat" He's probably a walking STD risk but he's hot and I'm a slut that has a thing for red heads, "the unwashed bitch", "LOOK AT THAT SCRUFF ON SHANKS the three scars on his face that smile", "my Scrungle drunk bastard", I would volunteer to be his next baby mama you know shanks got a few a dozen red haired children all over the grand line tell me I'm wrong"

Smoothie: "ah...smoothie....or as i call her... one piece tsunade Imaoo", "ultimately my desire to be crushed by Smoothie's thighs won out", "SMOOTHIE. THANK YOU mommy long legs... gauhggfghgh......i want her to juice me pleeeeaaaseeeeeeeeeee /silly",

Silvers Rayleigh: "Silver Fox Rayleigh", "he's old but he can get it", "Rayleigh has that 'your daughter calls me daddy too' energy", "he's a gilf who married a literal queen", "rayleigh has spent his entire life SERVING CUNT", "Raiyleigh has that gilf energy despite having no kids", I need him in so many different ways I cannot list", "he has my heart around his little finger", "Rayleigh makes me howl like a dog I swear", "I mean come on look at his HAIR his GLASSES that incredible STARE even his wrinkles are hot", "Rayleigh got the 50 year anniversary in the bag idk why you would go for anything else", "helloooo????? Rayleigh is the hottest old guy in one piece please", "I would let rayleigh ruin me and I would thank him", "Rayleigh to me is more like a really smooth mead", "genuinely may be the hottest man of onep just like. objectively", "rayleigh you will always be famous for being the most fuckable old man ever. there may be dilfs galore out there but ur the only gilf in my heart", "that scene where Rayleigh gets out of the ocean shirtless After swimming to the island of women I actually said Daddy out loud",

Smoker: "Smokedaddy", "Smokestack. 'Ole Smokey. Smokin' Hot Smoker", "smokers allergy to keeping his Tits covered compels me", "i do love smoked sausage i'm sorry i'll see myself out", "smoker he's just so beefy like fuckkk and he's like almost 40 i just wanna be smokers lil housewife", "smoker is a beautiful lesbian to me", "smoked sausage I just *know* he's got more to work with than a cocktail weenie", "SMOKEYBEAR PAPA SMOKE MY KING i would smoke him like a chimney if you're pickin up what I'm putting down wink wink nudge nudge he really would kill my lungs but it'd be a fun time", "SMOKER PAPUCHO RICO I NEED HIM", "smoker is solid (despite being made of smoke)", "smoker. smo-yan. ultimate "guy who is allergic to wearing shirts" and honestly? he's so right for that. he needs to show off his tits! in a one piece man boob ranking he's coming number 2 (after crocodile) i said this in dms earlier today but it needs to be released to the world "fat d*ck fat tits fat ass he has it all" smoker is PACKINNNNN in every way he's genuinely so attractive, even just considering him physically and look at his sexy facial scar also (beck also has one. very good) and his slicked back short hair.....not to mention the things that are very endearing about him personality wise - he does masculinity like NOBODY ELSE. genuinely NO ONE does it like him like. he's gruff but he has a very strong personal moral code and he really *does* care..... the man's a tsundere and he's never been cruel to those undeserving like in his introduction - kids bumps into him, spills ice cream on his pants YOU KNOW WHAT SMOKER SAYS? YK WHAT HE SAYS? "my pants ate your ice cream." KILL ME NOWWWWWW HES SO FUCKING HOT IM EATING MY OWN HANDS and then he GIVES THE KID MONEY TO BUY MORE ICE CREAM. jesus christ smoker big d*ick big tits big heart i fucking love him good god", "something something vague moaning sounds I would call him smokey just to provoke him", "

Trafalgar Law: "DR. Slut", "He has them tattoos which makes me go fucking feral", "A stoner greasy boyfailure", "the edgy emo orphan boy with daddy issues", 'My tried stressed bitch", "law is hot because hes pathetic has tattoos and is the narrative's favorite punching", "i am DERANGED over a depressed formerly-suicidal surgeon",

Yamato: "I need my trans man big naturals...... I know nothing about one piece but yamato lives rent free in my brain and my heart at all times the only anime figure i have is of him and i don't even watch the fucking show", "he's new + he's trans + he's over 8 feet tall + he's a wolf god what more could you want?!", "he is filled to the brim with TRANSMASC SWAG", "it's transmasc dog boy swag for me he's my best boy", "Yamato's boobs call to me I need to motorboat yamato titties. whoa who said that", "yamato could crush me and i would thank him yes indeed", "I just found out Yamato is Literally a whole entire meter taller than me & that's all the convincing I need", "my canon transmasc king", "cant compete with is the fact that on top of beautiful yamato is just. fucking huge like i can not will not get over it every time i remember he's 8'7 in canon I'm like aaaAaaAaAAaAAAAaa kiss me on the mouth big boy", "as an aroace person. if yamato stepped on me id thank him. thank you for your time", "hes literally the whole reason i started watching/reading one piece

Zoro: "The President of the strawhat's local big titty committee", "The king of boobs", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", I would probably get an STD but it would be worth it, "his stupidity and gay attire make him very appealing", canonically the biggest tits in one piece, He got them big naturals, "Big honkabadonkaroo hoinkybadinkirs massive man tiddies Zoro", "Zoro oozes 'I won't let anyone hurt you' energy", "zoro is hot because of his big naturals

Zeff: "He will wine and dine me before leaving me lovingly bedridden the day after. And he actually takes care of his kid", "Zeff is honorable and can cook and clean and bathes and almost dies for a kid that's not his and then adopts him" He's got line cook energy. If you know you know

I definitely know I'm going to have to add to this since there's so many more characters and you all are definitely going to get more creative after seeing the list.

And a few observations. Why did Sanji make the daddy list and not Zoro? Characters that I thought would be short cliff notes turned into some of the longest sections And characters I thought would have some of the longest sections turned into some of the shortest ones. And I still think this was worse theyn JJK I just forget how unhinged this fandom can be because your unhinged craziness is dispersed amongst so many characters. And I haven't decided which fandom's next.

I now have my answer on why Sanji made the list and not Zoro. Overall the fandom is just thirsty so very thirsty. Hence the many updates to this list

Commentary added as of May 4th.

Characters that I never thought I would ever add to this post are on here and I am so confused. When I started this blog, I was warned that the JJK fandom was unhinged horny and thirsty AF. But in my opinion, the one piece fandom is much worse. Just look at this post for proof. One Piece you guys are definitely the thirstiest fandom by far I mean Catherine Devon has a section. You guys just hide it better than the JJK Fandom. Plus I do regret challenging a few of you to come up with tags as a joke because you definitely delivered

[madam-o]

Back on my BS about this "Old Men" thing again

I'm about to repeat myself, and maybe I'm being too sensitive about this and should just let the tumblr community go on with its misconceptions about how aging works. However, this is a fandom pet peeve that won't leave me alone.

There are several old characters in One Piece. Garp definitely is at 78, and Zeff has retired from pirating to his restaurant at 67, although Garp is still working at his naval career and kicking ass at it, I'll remind you. A lot of the toughest to beat characters in OP are oldies, in fact. Advanced age in One Piece tends to bring with it more power, more wisdom, or both. It's much harder to bring a tough old person down in that world than in this one. Several OP characters are even older than 100 and still perfectly healthy (granted, a lot of them are giants, who can live for centuries).

So why are characters like Shanks, Buggy, Mihawk, Crocodile, etc. often described as "old men" in a humorously deprecating fashion by the fandom? Is it because they're sexy and over 35 and that's somehow hard to deal with?

Do you know how old Chris Evans is? 42. Chris Hemsworth? Henry Cavill? Both are 40. Even babyface Timothee Chalamet, who looks about 16, is a lot older than you'd think at 27.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but most of the hottest people on Earth are over 25, and a LOT of them are over 40. And that's OKAY. You're not a pervy weirdo for being attracted to them.

So you can joke about Shanks and Buggy being old, but they're both still in their 30's and likely haven't even hit their peaks yet. Mihawk and Croc are in their mid-40's and two of the scariest mfers out there. Btw, Doflamingo's 41, just in case you didn't know.

It especially irks me when writers have these characters ashamedly refer to themselves as old. I don't think being in your 30's-to-40's is considered a negative in the OP world for one thing, especially for fighters. You're coming into your prime around then, with a lot of room to keep growing.

If age gaps are a problem for you in fic writing, maybe you should try aging up your oc's. Or just accept that you're gonna hit 30 sooner than you think and then you'll finally realize how young that actually is. We're living in a youth-obsessed culture, but the One Piece world is a lot more sensible.

[peachy-dove]

MDNI!! 18+

Thinking about sugar daddy Garp! He’s such a giving sugar daddy, respects your boundaries, and knows how to be stern with you when necessary.

You need money for new shoes?

Sure! But give daddy a blowjob and it’s yours (he’ll throw in extra if you swallow)

You want to try this fancy new restaurant?

Great dressed up real nice but put on some sexy lingerie to tease him through the night and he’s all yours.

Constantly having you cockwarm him during phone meetings with Sengoku, slowly fucking up into you as you drag your nails into his big chest trying to keep quiet, “Come on little one, just a little longer for me you can do it, right?” Lots of positive reinforcement surprisingly!

You want to really work him up for what you want? Rub his shoulders while he sits in his office chair and tell him how much of a Good Sugar Daddy he is and how much you appreciate him, he’s gonna fuck you good, pay for you both to take a nice vacation, and take care of every need of yours.

He’s actually supportive of your dreams and wants you to do your best and that’s enough for him :)

Me writing this and thinking of Big Daddy Garp fucking me good:

[lesbiankoby]

my concept of future!kobylu jokes can be summed up as koby nervously trying to instigate a sexy roleplay where he arrests luffy for being a “bad boy” [humiliated flush] but this goes over luffy’s head he gets incredibly insulted and actually starts whiskey peaking koby in the streets battle to the death COC vs COC before koby (HUMILIATED. BRIGHT RED.) forces out “LUFFY I AM TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU” and luffy is like [stops] oh shishishishishi why didn’t you just say so stupid koby. and koby never tries to do that again. (@transflamingo FOR EXTREMELY FUNNY KOBY LINE)

…roger on the other hand managed to make several attempted arrests horny out of sheer force of will. garp is still very embarrassed of this.

[dykelizard]

OH MY GOD ZOLU LITTLE MERMAID AU. LUFFY AS ARIEL ZORO AS ERIC CHOPPER AS ERICS BIG FLUFFY DOG GARP AS KING TRITON KOBY AS FLOUNDER USOPP AS SEBASTIAN SANJI AS THE CRAZY COOK THAT TRIES TO COOK SEBASTIAN ACE AND SABO AS ARIELS SEXY MERMAID SISTERS BYE I HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY NIGHT DRAWING THIS.

[melonteee]

ooooo is it garp hating hour? i know i know, grey morality and all that but i just literally cant fathom 'raising' a kid (well mostly throwing them at other people to raise just to come rough em up every few months), having them at one point ask if they deserve to live WHEN THEYRE NOT EVEN 13 YET because of someone elses actions, and then like. blaming them for their impending execution when they finally find a purpose that brings them happiness. and still acting like you loved them or truly cared for them.

especially when ace found HUNDREDS of people who loved him enough to put their lives on the line to save him AS A PIRATE, while his surrogate marine gramps literally sits there and watches.

pirates who then had enough love and honor to then ensure aces beloved little bro survives even after ace himself dies

bro. he wasnt happy at all under you. youre now THREE FOR THREE, no marines. the problem is you, garp. (and the system, but obviously)

i try to be impartial and understand where characters are coming from, but garp just... he knows too much! seen too many of the atrocities commited by marines and the world gov! he should 100% know better by this point!

garp is my breaking point baaaaaby!

(sengoku is also on thin ice but eh)

No fr you're right about all of this, Garp has an extreme victim complex to me.

"Ohhh why does my own son hate me?! Why does my grandson defy me!! Oh woe is me!! They just need to be marines!!!"

Maybe you're being a cunt towards them with your own bootlicking beliefs you STUPID!! STUPID GILF!!!! Sexy outside but a YUCKY INSIDE!!

However I think the point of Garp is he doesn't want to BELIEVE the marines are so bad to the point they're unfixable. Garp DOES see bad things in the marines, and he WANTS to fix it - but in doing so, he's made Koby! Who is now ALSO deliberately blind to the filthy ways of the marines. Koby HAS seen it (such as Captain Morgan and Akainu), and because he's following Garp's example, Koby believes he CAN fix the system from the inside with some elbow grease.

We KNOW the marines cannot be fixed from the inside, we have marines like Smoker who also know this and marches to the beat of his own drum due to how much he hates the marines and their false, taught sense of justice. Garp is even a VICE ADMIRAL and he STILL can't change whatever the hell he wanted to change!

Garp truly believes there IS justice in the marines, or justice in BEING a marine, and this is why he's such a bootlicker. He's an old man stuck in his old ways, and instead of seeing merit in or UNDERSTANDING the revolutionary army his son has started - he's decided that's the WRONG way to go about justice.

Garp believes old people are not worth saving or not welcome in the future, and in doing so, he's internalised this as an old man HIMSELF and refuses to change. It's kind of sad, but to me, Garp just doesn't want to realise he's been in the wrong his entire life.

[redrex-64]

Using the Super Crown

[quinloki]

as somebody who is really interested in tarot but is SO BAD at memorizing the card meanings (i've decided to just make my own custom oracle deck at this point), i'm curious if you had any headcanons/thematic ties between the major arcana and one piece characters??

hope this isn't too far out of left field! <3

IT IS NOT - THIS IS FANTASTIC

Two of my favorite things - MY TWO FAVORITEST THINGS IF I HAD TO PICK \o/ THIS IS LIKE A FREE CHRISTMAS

Forgive me, this'll be a bit off the top of my head, so I may make adjustments at some later date, but I absolutely MUST do my best to answer this RIGHT NOW. (I'm vibrating I'm so delighted by this \lol/)

0 The Fool/Luffy - The Fool isn't an idiot, as some people assume based on the name of the card, he's on a journey - as a matter of fact, it's a journey he takes *through* the major arcana. He learns about the world, and himself - about injustices and his own morals and limits. The Fool is about the journey.

1 The Magician/Shanks - The Magician is effectively the Fool's first teacher. The Magician card is as above, so below. He's all the major suits, he's magic and power. Good or Evil isn't relevant (though generally it's always positive to see this card).

2 The High Priestess/Nami - The Priestess is strong girl power - well, strong "things we often associate with feminine energy". She doesn't back down, she knows her strengths, and her weaknesses. There's a bluntness here too, and a fierceness. It's very "That look Nami gave Sanji on Whole Cake Island."

3 The Empress/Nico Robin - The Empress is more a motherly vibe and less a Strong Boss Lady vibes. She's caring, nurturing, protective, but not restrictive. There's a caring vibe that resonates with this that isn't really found in the Priestess.

4 The Emperor/Jinbei - I'm just name some moments - Making Luffy remember his nakama, giving him his blood, not joining when he wanted too - joining when he could do it right. Supporting Luffy even from a distance. Stern, strong, wise, educated, Supportive. Big Good Masculine Vibes.

5 The Hierophant/Monkey D. Garp - The hierophant is a teacher of sorts, kind of a societal vibe vs what The Magician teaches. Here to show you the path you "should" travel. Not necessarily the path you're going to want to travel - just know the road's probably going to be bumpier if you don't listen to him, but contextually, it could be more rewarding.

6 The Lovers/Roronoa Zoro - The Lovers Does NOT MEAN JUST ROMANTIC LOVE or sexy love or whatever. The Lovers is a card about dedication, devotion - being there for someone completely, and that person being there for you completely. Partners. This is a good Kid x Killer vibe card too.

7 The Chariot/Thousand Sunny - The Chariot is about motion, but controlled motion. There's generally no reins being depicted for this card (sometimes there is), but the person is still in control. The crew didn't have much direction when the Merry Go was their ship, but comparatively, they did with Sunny.

8 Strength/Usopp - Strength isn't usually talking about physical strength. It's strength of will. Why Usopp? Facing off against Luffy was an immense show of strength, and his growth after that was even more so. It's very much inline with the card.

9 The Hermit/Sanji - The Hermit doesn't *want* to be alone, but the Hermit often needs it. Not the kind of alone that means shoving everyone away, the kind of alone that sits on the bow of the ship and contemplates their sense of self. Sanji has a lot of work to do in this, but I also think he's a character who has done a LOT of it long before he met Zeff.

10 Wheel of Fortune/The whole bloody series honestly - The Wheel Turns, and things change. This card means whatever is going on now, isn't going to be going on tomorrow. The good times will end, the bad times won't last forever. Everything changes. Appreciate the good while you can, and weather the hard times knowing they won't last.

11 Justice/ - Hrm.

12 The Hanged Man/Trafalgar Law - Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all. Sometimes you need to just Stop and Think about things. Maybe Law over thinks sometimes (he certainly has the whole "sacrifice oneself for the greater good" vibe going one, which can also be a thing for this card.)

13 Death/The Going Merry - Change is inevitable, and while the Wheel is about day to day changes, Death is about BIG changes. Changes that don't leave you the same as they found you. Changes that can break you if you don't roll with them - Changes you CANNOT outrun.

14 Temperance/Several Characters- Temperance is about balance, a lot like Justice, but with Temperance there is emotion that you don't find in Justice. My knee jerky reaction places several characters here - Robin's mom, Nami's mom, and Rosinante (my apologies for being bad with names and not wanting to break from this to look them up.) These people all had a strong connection to temperance - doing what needed done, not because of logic or justice, but because of love.

15 The Devil/Doflamingo - The Devil is about choice. Generally it's about negative choices and not positive ones, because it's about the chains that bind us to the things that pull us down. It's about crumbling and failing because we chose to do things the way we did. I liken Doffy to this, since we often don't see what it is we're doing wrong, and with the wrong people around us, well, we just keep going headlong into the wrong path. (Doffy isn't the devil in this card, Trebol could be, but Doffy is definitely the one in chains).

16 The Tower/Marine ford - I don't know that I really need to say anything else ^^;

17 The Star/Silvers Rayleigh - Thinking back to how this is story of journey for the Fool, Rayleigh is the perfect character to follow Marine Ford. He didn't heal Luffy like Law did, he didn't heal him like how Jinbei did. He just offered hope - a chance to recover from the rough and harsh lessons that came before him, and make sure Luffy could continue forward on his own.

18 The Moon/Momonosuke - Wary, anxious - the moon is about intuition, but not "oh I knew they were gonna kiss" kinds of intuition. It's about knowing something is wrong, something is looming, something is unavoidable and you don't know WHY you're nervous and afraid (or maybe you have an inkling) you just are. The moon is fear of the unknown, and it's not a card that has any answers most of the time - you just have to get through it.

19 The Sun/Sabo - It's his memories coming back, him meeting Luffy in the Coliseum, eating the fruit, holding that newspaper to his chest and smiling like a DOOF when he sees his little brother is doing well. It wasn't necessarily all rainbows, but there's clarity there - everything is illuminated, no shadows. Shit hurt for a while, but he can see the good in it all.

20 Judgement/Portgas D. Ace - This card isn't so much about wiping the slate clean, as it is realizing that all your flaws, scars, mistakes, etc. have helped make you who you are. It's about accepting your flaws and either incorporating them, or improving yourself to lessen them. Honestly the most heart breaking thing about Ace is how he was doing this, he just never got the chance to see it through.

21 The World/Joy Boy - I'll just leave this as this for now. ^_^

[giurochedadomani]

Mihawk is like a vampire in many, many ways, among them the fact that he has to be very explicitly invited to things before he shows up. Or, I did a post some time ago about ‘what if Mihawk pulls the beach move regularly, and just shows up wherever Shanks is, dressed up all sexy and fully expecting Shanks to drop his plans in favor of. Uh. Dueling’ and then @reineyday joined me in my insanity and started to comment about how ‘what if Shanks gets really in his head whenever he has to tell Mihawk No because he’s about to raid some marine base or something and the timeframe is crucial because WHAT IF MIHAWK DOESN’T SEEK HIM OUT AGAIN’ and then it ended somehow with beckmann stealing mihawk’s number (or garp giving it to him?) and him giving it to shanks like: ‘PLEASE. Call him and plan your dates, dude’.

Mihawk frowns, not knowing what to make of Shanks’ ramble. He does have a tendency to choose the most complicated way of saying things when he gets nervous. He ponders what might make the red haired captain hesitate and his mind automatically jumps to: “You do not wish to be seen with me by your crew?”. 

“That's not—!”, the eyes of Mihawk’s den den mushy narrow in a glare. “Get out you two, will you!?”, then, the sound of Shanks slamming the door shut? And then him again, a tad calmer: “Sorry. I just— sorry. It's— sometimes you show up, and I can't go with you, and I never know if you're like, angry at me or something”. 

Mihawk’s chest is doing something complicated. He thinks about Shanks’ easy smiles with his crew. About his loose affectionate touches. He thinks about Benn Beckmann swinging an arm over Shanks’ neck to steal his ale and wonders why it feels like a language he’s not privy to. 

“I'm not angry”, he ends saying. His voice feels a bit— He doesn’t entirely like the way he’s said it.

Then, a beat. And Mihawk’s den den mushy doing its most pathetic attempt at recreating Shanks’ puppy eyes. He turns it a bit so it faces the wall, unsettled as the silence stretches: 

“Good. That's good”. 

Is it, though? Maybe he’s been way too obvious and— overbearing. He knows that Shanks considers him a friend, he’s said it as much. He also knows that he’s just one among many. That Shanks is no loner like him. The possibility of having driven Shanks out because he’s seeked him out way too much sits like a pit on his stomach. 

“I can. Show up less”, he hesitates. “If that's what you want”. 

[the-fluff-piece]

Could I request Prompt #1 w/ Smoker? Honestly there’s just not enough of him out there… And I’m a sexy or smut 🍆 kind of gal, but if you’d rather write something sweet for this, I’d be down for that too ☺️

And congratulations on 200! That’s definitely not nothing. It’s a milestone and you should celebrate it.

This is part of the follower milestone event

Hello Anon,

Thank you! I feel like I always have to play everything down. 200 is definitely not nothing!

Yes, poor smoky is begging for it with his shirt open but he doesn't get enough attention 🥺 but he needs it so bad! This one kind of escalated in length, I am sorry

And its 18+ so minors don't click on that.

Here's

White night

Smoker's worst nightmare is coming true: he needs to attend a dreadful marine ball! And Tsuru even assigned him a date to take. What should he even do with one of those noble brats of high birth?

Angsty, shy Smoker and some light smut

Smoker

Smoker was the most uncomfortable he was in a long, long time. Put him on a battlefield, beat him up and shoot holes in him - he was fine with that. Put him in a suit and he wanted to get executed instantly. The bowtie around his neck seemed to choke him and he hated dress shirts on purpose. Even if it was the official gala uniform, he hated it. The marine gala uniform for his rank was basically a fine suit with vest, bow tie and his medals and rank signs. He forgot he even had half of these. Valor? When?

His large hands fumbled with the flower corsage he was supposed to give the girl that had to spend the evening with him. She was a princess or something. At least Tashigi felt as uneasy as him. She got pressed into a dress that was not at all her style, in a bright pink shade and shining applications. Her date for the evening would be an officer of similar rank that Garp picked.

You

So your dad and some marine admiral made you go to one of those boring marine balls were uptight, unsocial marine officers had to show to the public that they were civil people instead of devil power wielding savages on par with the pirates they hunted.

You would have to spend the evening with "the white hunter", he looked about as funny as eating a bowl of screws, so you didn't have great expectations about the evening. At least he looked hot, in a grumpy older guy with excellent physique kind of way. You had read about him in the newspaper when he managed to bring in some big, bad pirates. For some reason, his shirt was never closed.

Your father had assured you that the man was maybe a little rough, but a good man. He protected the upstanding citizens of the world and was far less prone to convoluted marine politics than most. Just recently, he managed to bring back a group of children that had been kidnapped, so you hoped that he wasn't a bad guy, despite his reputation as being cruel.

As you get out of the carriage you put on your best good princess smile as you make your way to the foyer. He was hard to miss, you could already see his white hair and a pillar of smoke in the crowd.

Ugh, here we go. Another evening of boring war stories. It was undeniable though that he looked splendid. The cut of the uniform accentuated his broad, muscular build and made him look almost handsome. His hair was neatly groomed and his piercing white eyes were mesmerising. Only his scowl and the cigar in his mouth destroyed the picture a little bit. He seemed as unhappy to attend this ball as you were.

"You must be vice-admiral Smoker, I am- " you tried to greet him. He didn't hear you. Instead, he grunted something at a small woman, who bowed like she was his subordinate.

"Goddammit Tashigi wear your glasses!" He berated her. What a stern guy. The woman flipped a pair of glasses from the top of her head down in front of her eyes and studied a vase with a bouquet very closely, apologising.

You tried again but he didn't react. Either he only heard barked orders from his superiors, or he was half deaf from all the shooting and the bellow of his own voice. Maybe both. You decide to lay protocol aside for a second and poked a finger into his side. Irritated, he looked down.

"Yes?"

You clear your throat and say in the loudest and clearest way possible: "you must be vice admiral smoker! I am pleased to meet you. I am princess y/n, as Admiral Tsuru surely told you."

"Oh, uh I am vice admiral smoker, at your service!" It seemed like he wanted to salute you, but stopped his hand.

"I know" you said. Now that he's facing you he looks more like a nervous school boy than a weathered soldier. And he was a giant. Your eyes were level with the white flower in his buttonhole. You saw his nervous hands mistreating the delicate flower bouquet he was supposed to give you, but likely forgot he had.

"Oh thank you so much, what a beautiful colour" you said, pointing at the corsage in his hands. With widened eyes, he looked at the gift and nods.

"Yes of course" and motioned to put it around your wrist. He didn't take his gloves off, nor did he greet you properly. He is lucky that you're not one of those hags that end whole careers over societal missteps. He was really trying hard to get the small band onto your wrist, but even the tips of his fingers were still too clumsy and the corsage seemed to develop a mind of it's own. You gently took it out of his huge paws and put it on your wrist. The flowers were already creased and crushed. "Lovely " you comment. He may be a lion on the battlefield but on this marble floor he seemed more like a lamb. You will have your hands full tonight maneuvering this oaf through all the rules and protocols no one taught him about, so that he didn't embarrass you or himself.

"Vice-admiral, let's go to the buffet until the dancing starts. I imagine you are far too busy to attend these frivolous parties often, let me show you around." He manages to swallow and nod, you hope he understood what you were saying. Follow my lead and this won't turn into a disaster.

Smoker

He didn't know if he was lucky or absolutely doomed. Maybe both could be true. He was just letting off some steam disciplining Tashigi, when a tiny woman appeared with the aura of a leader. She looked short and fragile, her speech was melodic and overly polite, but sharp as a blade. He felt in every inch of his body that she was here to get him through it, and if he didn't cooperate she would be able to destroy him through means he couldn't even grasp. He had a faint flashback to his first drill instructor.

He couldn't help but notice her noble face and regal posture, completing the fine beauty of a woman who was intelligent and cunning. She looked like she was used to giving orders and having those carried out.

He remembered to hold out his arm for her just in time and she took it. Her grasp wasn't strong, but she took the lead, gently tugging in the direction they had to go. The woman had balls and the spirit to back it up. He respected that. Maybe Tsuru picked her just for those qualities.

She led him around showing him the buffet and explaining the dishes and their properties to him like he already knew that. She somehow, without saying anything or gesturing, made a waiter appear with a whiskey on ice for him while she took a glass of sparkling wine. It was damn good whiskey, Smoker had to admit. He relaxed a little.

The buffet was an abundance of fine dishes and snacks: There were fine tartelettes, a selection of cheeses from all four seas, exotic fruit, roasts and seafood. His head spun and he couldn't remember half of it, wasn't sure if he had to. Simultaneously she greeted uncountable pairs of very important people, dukes and duchesses, barons, industrial magnates, professors and whatnot. He was relieved whenever he met someone he knew - and wasn't on bad terms with. Vice-Admiral Jonathan from G-8 was there, being stuffed by his wife with food, Tsuru was there, looking as grumpy and mean as ever but nodding to him benevolently when she saw him and the princess. Admiral Sengok was glued to the buffet and greeted Smoker warmly, his mouth full of crackers and cheese. Maybe the strict rules aren't as strict for everyone.

The princess was single handedly leading the evening for both of them, he barely had to speak, she did it for him, ending most sentences with "don't you think, Vice Admiral?" Or "as I'm sure the Vice admiral would agree". All he had to do was nod and try to smile. They had crossed the ballroom once from end to end and had greeted most of the other guests. The princess led him to a corner and drank from her glass, observing the room.

"So Vice-Admiral.Smoker, now that you've had your first glance at the party, do you find it acceptable?" He asked him with an easy smile.

"Yeah, I...guess. very acceptable indeed." He had to wreck his brain not to fall back to his surely more than inappropriate way of speaking.

"You know you don't have to call me vice admiral all the time, I don't really care for the title. Just Smoker is fine" He told her. "And I am not good at this whole fancy party thing.

She gave him a warm, beautiful smile, sending electricity through his body.

"I noticed" she said, chuckling. "That's why I am going to be blunt: I know you're not the kind of man who likes to be here, but I see that you are honestly trying. I respect that. I assure you that I will help you get through this evening smoothly and we will leave at the earliest hour we can. So we just need to dance a little and we can excuse ourselves, get back to our lifes."

He nodded, dumbfounded because of the sudden change of manners. Her voice, before formal and polite, adapted a more playful and relaxed tone. Was this the way she usually spoke?

Smoker had to swallow and make a confession: "I can't dance."

"Dear Vice-Admiral, I am shocked!" She put her hand on her mouth and widened her eyes in pretend surprise. "Don't worry about that, we will mostly dance waltz tonight, you just need to make the basic steps and I'll lead you."

He almost told her that the man was supposed to lead, but he realized it would have been stupid.

"I know the basic steps. Tsuru send me to a crash course last week." He admitted. "But I'm not good at it."

"If I may be so nosy, why does Tsuru want you here?" You asked him the question that burned in your mind. It made no sense to push someone who wasn't suitable, if that guy was just strong he could clobber pirates in a lower rank, so there must be more to him.

"Don't know." He grunts. "Ask her."

"I will" you said, already planning your approach to find out.

"Why are you in the marine, Smoker?" You decided to just ask him. You had asked the question a few times now and the answers were all very telling.

"I just want to spread justice. Root out all those who wreak havoc in the world." His voice got louder as he spoke, turning a few heads. He seemed to really mean it, maybe he wasn't as bad as most others, who just wanted the power that came with it.

"The music is starting. Let's dance." You said as you lead him to the dance floor, where others already waited.

Smoker

Dancing. Was. Hard.

It was a pain to look where he stepped, it was almost impossible to time his steps with the music and the hardest thing of all was holding that small, beautiful woman in his arms without going crazy. One hand on her back, one holding her hand - he never got so near to that kind of woman, let alone one he was actually getting interested in. Her charm and cunning weren't lost on him, no matter how many defenses he had built against personal drama over the years.

The music was pleasant and the princesses ballgown swung elegantly from her hand, where it was held by a small loop. He could get into this. Could get into her - but he had to remind himself that he was just a Marine brute, built for fighting and hunting, and not good for much else. She was used to gentlemen courting her, the finer things in life, politics and polite conversation. All things he didn't know. His heart sank a little as he realized this evening was all he had. But he would make it count, it was even acceptable that he court his partner, even a little. It was what everyone wanted after all. As they danced and she gently led him across the dancefloor, he indulged in staring at her and imagining a future he would never have.

You

You were smiling, this was going far better than you had anticipated. The marine oaf turned out to be a man with principles, but no mind for politics. He understood the importance however and cooperated with you, making this more pleasant and easy.

His hand was big and warm on your back as you danced and held your hand with great care, your small hand was completely engulfed in his. Once you got used to his tough demeanor, you could really get into his marine-soldier charm. Later, you would have to look up more of those pictures of his bare chest.

The music stopped, so after a few dances it was time for a break. You lead him back to the buffet to get another drink and told him how good he was doing.

"Thank you" he smiled, looking proud of himself and helping himself to another whiskey.

"What is over there?" He asked, bending down to you.

"Oh, the garden" you answered. "People basically just stroll there and there are some benches."

"I could use a bit of fresh air..." he said, waiting for you to weigh in.

"Of course, it's more quiet out there, let's take a walk" you say and take his arm again. Usually the gardens were the territory of lovers, hiding from the prying eyes of the public. But he didn't need to know that.

The gardens where lush and in full bloom. Huge hedges created many secret spots and over everything hung the sweet scent of the flowers and herbs, especially strong in the colder evening air.

You took random turns, not really looking where you were going, just enjoying the break and relative calm out here.

You heard a little to late the giggling and sighing of lovers around a corner in the maze of hedges - and suddenly you and Smoker stood in front of a half naked pair of young nobles, fooling around in the darkness on a bench.

You could hear him gasp as the couple giggled and retreated further into the foliage - it was not exactly a faux pas, just a frivolous encounter the two must have expected.

"Let's go down here" you nervously said as you lead him around a different bend.

"Where they...?" Smoker asked huskily.

"Yes" you answer, watching the big man blush like a teenager. His pale skin and white hair did nothing to hide his pink cheeks.

"The garden is also the place for lovers" you told him.

"Lovers..." he mumbled.

"They are usually not able to meet in private because of chaperones and rules or just distance, so it's an open secret that people enjoy each others company in the gardens." You informed the clueless soldier.

"And we are here..." he growled in an ominous tone.

"Just walking here is also fine" you told him, unsure of what he was thinking about.

The two of you stopped - there was a dead end with a bench in some kind of alcove, a perfect spot for some secret fun. You couldn't deny that the guy was hot and was probably a special experience in the sheets.

"Do you want to sit down? No one will see us here" You asked in hushed tone.

"Yes" he pressed out. He seemed nervous, so he must have understood your offer.

He sat down beside you in the stone bench and began staring at the path to his feet. You leaned a bit against him, but felt his body tense, and you wanted to move away again when his hand wrapped around you and pulled you close.

He looked at you, his pale.eyes glinting in the faint light of the lamps.

"Is this...uhm...like the, uhm, couple from before?" He stammered, his face red now.

"If you want to" you answer lightly, hearing him pant. What a strange man, you were used to charming noble men who talked all the time and said nothing, he talked little and told you so much.

He looked like he was about to panic, but he pressed a hot kiss to your lips nonetheless. Even his lips where rough, it was part of his charm. You laid your arms around his neck and kissed him back, inviting his tongue into your mouth. He was inexperienced, but passionate. He drew you onto his lap and devoured your mouth like a starving man. He panted and grunted as his hands were gliding of your body aimlessly.

You could fully straddle his lap and he still had to bend down to kiss you - and he still aimed lower, kissing a trail to your jaw and down your neck. You could already feel his erection through his pants as he bucked his hips against you.

Button by button, you opened his shirt to reveal that chest you already saw in the papers. His skin was white like marble, making him look like a statue in the pale light.

You would have loved to savour him more, but an encounter in the garden had to be quick, or the next couple came around the corner. You opened his pants, unable to see him clearly in the darkness.

He was panting and growling unintelligible things when he pulled his pants down and began fingering you under your skirts.

"No time" you whispered in his ear as you already guided his cock inside you. Maybe you should have studied him more closely before - the sudden stretch of his sheer size made you gasp in surprise. He moaned loudly, a little too loud for your taste, and you put your mouth on his to stifle his uncontrollable moans while you began moving up and down.

His eyes looked like he was in sweetest agony while his chest rumbled with his deep voice.

--‐-------------

You were almost caught by some other guests strolling past, but both of you were so eager you were cuming almost immediately. Disheveled and breathless you stumbled away from the onlookers to sort yourselves out and not let anything on.

Smoker

He couldn't believe what had just happened. In the course of a single evening he found the perfect woman and made love to her - two things he thought would never happen. Her body was so soft and sweet, he felt like a feral beast when he couldn't hold back anymore. There was not enough time for anything in that moment, his head still spun and he was unable to speak as he watched her smooth her hair and set her dress right again. He wanted to tell her how much he wanted her, but the words weren't there. She was too good for him, anyway. She was charming and eloquent, beautiful and noble, while he was little more than a dog in human form.

He stumbled through the rest of the evening in a haze of desire and denial, not knowing what to feel or do. They stayed silently together, leaning against each other, until people started to leave, among them her father and siblings who than called her to go home with them.

"I...thank you for tonight" he managed to say. "You should get back to your life" he repeated her words from earlier this evening. His heart almost burst as she whispered: "I have to thank you, Smoker. If you are in the area, come visit me sometime."

He felt her slip something the pocket of his suit before she vanished. He stood there, lost, not wanting this evening to end.

____________

Just a day later smoker was back with the G-5, back in his usual attire and already whipping the idiots back into shape. He still couldn't fathom that he had felt impossible bliss as he was making love with a real princess. Only the note he kept in his pocket was telling him it had been real. A little piece of paper with her name on it. It smelled like her perfume and was drawn in the direction she was. She has invited him to find her - and he was still debating whether he was even worth it.