#sexytimes ;)

[kaeraesketches]

✨Hmm. Just a nice night in at the bookshop, eh? *innocent whistling* 😜

.

✨ Just look at Az’s blissed out face…🫠

.

✨ Full piece is over at Pa🌳on if you want it!

L!nk is in my bi0!

[jessicanjpa]

Re: Alice being the least romantic Cullen, one time she did something new in bed that Jasper really liked. When he told her, she said "Thanks. I saw Rosalie and Emmett do this last night and I knew you would like it."

[theheartchoice]

dean may be a clean freak in the streets but he's a freak minus the clean in the sheets. like yeh don't drop crumbs in the impala and don't leave dirty dishes around the bunker and he's not gonna use that sticky payphone without a wetwipe and monsters and witches with their bodily fluids will never not gross him out. but cas can come in his ass or over his lips and there can be a mess of lube and sweat and come dirtying up his skin and the sheets but he'll just curl up like a cat against cas' chest and slip into the best sleep he's had in months.

[raina-at]

Date

There’s a few things in life theoretical knowledge can’t prepare you for. On top of the list, or very near it, is the actual experience of raising a child. The daily, hourly experience of living with a child isn’t comparable to anything else, and it can’t be properly described in words.

Sherlock loves Rosie to distraction. But, it has to be said, if there was a world championship of accidental cockblocking, she would medal without breaking a sweat. 

That adorable, wonderful, funny, smart little girl can ruin the mood so quickly Sherlock would honestly be impressed if he wasn’t simultaneously so frustrated he can barely see straight.

John lovingly calls her the world’s most effective chastity belt, and Sherlock agrees wholeheartedly.

Sherlock thinks this might be the reason most couples wait a few years before having children. 

Unfortunately, he and John never did anything in the right order. They fell in love pretty much on sight, then spent ten years being stupid. In between Sherlock pretend died, then (almost) died for real, John got married, had a kid, the wife died, John moved back in, Sherlock became a second father, and then, finally, they started shagging. 

Only they never had a sex holiday, because they have a Gremlin they can’t inflict on anyone for a week to just bugger off and shag each other’s brains out. Not yet, anyway. Molly’s offered, but their schedules have not aligned yet. Sherlock hopes it will happen soon.

The last few weeks were especially harrowing. Sherlock was in Cardiff for a week for a boring case, and when he came back, he was busily snogging John against the refrigerator when Rosie came down from her room and vomited all over the sitting room carpet. 

If there’s anything that kills the mood faster than a vomiting four-year-old, Sherlock never wants to encounter it.

Of course they both got sick as well, and for the better part of a week, even the thought of anyone touching any part of Sherlock that wasn’t his forehead or his hand was frankly revolting.

Then Rosie dislocated her shoulder and had to stay home from daycare for a solid week. They were both so exhausted every evening that whoever had bedtime duty that night routinely fell asleep in Rosie’s bed before Rosie did. 

But now. 

Now Rosie’s at Molly’s. They had a lovely date night, with dinner at Angelo’s and a walk through Regent’s Park in the moonshine, and Sherlock is a tiny bit tipsy from the wine and from banked arousal. He’s got John backed against the sitting room door, and they’re snogging leisurely. John’s hands have found their way into his clothes, one hand is caressing his arse, the other trailing up his spine. 

“The things I want to do to you,” John mutters, grinning at Sherlock, wicked and full of promise.

“Oh, I have a list as well,” Sherlock replies, biting at John’s throat.

John moans, letting his head fall back against the door, exposing more of his skin to Sherlock’s hungry mouth. “I hope getting me out of my clothes before I go completely crazy is on that list,” he breathes, the hand on Sherlock’s arse pulling their hips together. He’s got a leg slung around Sherlock’s and is dreamily rubbing his erection against Sherlock’s thigh. 

“In a minute,” Sherlock mutters, going back to biting at John’s neck. John smells delicious there, like fresh air and a bit of sweat and his cologne.

The door to 221 opens, closes and someone ascends the stairs.

Sherlock sighs. “Fuck off, Lestrade,” he yells through the closed door.

John giggles a bit, hiding his face in Sherlock’s shirt. Sherlock smiles. That’s his favourite thing in the world, a happy, aroused, giggly John Watson, all his to do with as he pleases. He kisses the laugh from John’s lips.

There’s a knock at the door. Right behind John’s shoulder blades. 

“He said fuck off, Lestrade,” John says, freeing his lips briefly from Sherlock’s before diving right back again for another deep, dirty, single-minded kiss. 

“Listen, chaps, I get it, but the Lambeth strangler’s resurfaced. We need to move on this now.”

Sherlock draws back from the kiss. “How do you know it’s him?” he asks, holding John in place as he makes a move to withdraw his hands from their various places on Sherlock’s person. 

“Red string, candles, the works. It’s the same man, Sherlock. It’s not a copycat, we’re sure.”

Sherlock sighs. They’ve been after the strangler for years. Sherlock has never had the opportunity to see a fresh crime scene. 

“It’s okay,” John says, quietly, so Lestrade won’t hear through the door. “I understand. This is important.”

Sherlock meets John’s eyes. John looks disappointed, but he knows ending a date with chasing a serial killer is as traditional for them as sex is for other couples.

The case is alluring. Surely at least an eight. It’s important.

But so is John.

“Lestrade,” Sherlock says, leaning in and nosing along John’s neck while speaking, “walk away now, no questions asked, and give us one hour, no questions asked, and I’ll take the next five cases you’re offering, no questions asked.”

There’s a noticeable pause, then Lestrade says, quietly, “One hour.”

They hear him walk down the stairs and the door to 221 closes behind him.

“Delaying a serial killer crime scene for a whole hour, for me?” John mutters, grinning at Sherlock, bright and happy. “Now I know you love me.”

“Some people need a lot of convincing,” Sherlock mutters, sinking his teeth into John’s neck.

“Take me to bed,” John says, winding his hands into Sherlock’s hair. “And convince me some more.”

Here. Fluff and sexytimes like I promised!

Thank you so much @calaisreno for the tag and the prompt.

Tagging a few people: @jrow @keirgreeneyes @helloliriels @meetinginsamarra @lisbeth-kk @khorazir @discordantwords @thetimemoves @the-reading-lemon @7-percent and anyone else who wants to play.

Also, I'm collecting all my ficlets on AO3 here.

[dsudis]

To Be Brand New: Chapter 20 is up!

Check out all the art by @fishfingersandscarves

To Be Brand New || Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling || Explicit || 19/25 || 106,404 words

Book 7: Brief Lives (The Sandman), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, at least during this story, Age Regression/De-Aging, Slow Burn, like the slowest burn, Like One of Them Is A Pre-Sexual Child for the First 100K, What If The Red String Of Fate Was Also A Toddler Leash, Touch-Starved Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Protective Hob Gadling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Caretaking, Bathing/Washing, Sharing a Bed, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, Illnesses, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Explicit Sexual Content, Masturbation, Not Exactly Loss of Virginity But Kinda?, Implied/Referenced Monsterfucking, Happy Ending

On a rainy day in the Dreaming, Dream of the Endless watches the dreamfolk doting on Daniel Hall, and wishes he could be someone small enough to be loved. Hob Gadling has waited a long time for a chance to be closer to his stranger. This isn’t the way he ever imagined it happening, but he does love nothing better than being surprised.

Chapter 20: "I just need to know what it is you want, and… what this is."

[Go straight to Chapter 20 here!]

[android-and-ale]

Happy Friday! Kick off your weekend with some fluffy, unrepentant Old Man Yaoi. 

Our beloved Old Married Spirk have been sent off on yet another diplomatic mission. They’ve been at this for awhile, so really, everyone should know what to expect from them. If you bug their rooms you deserve what you see and hear. 

Enjoy canon level “diplomacy,” the eternal mediocrity of conference centers, and lighthearted middle aged sex.

Inspired by a Tumblr post, Spock’s classic line, and the Rifftrax take on it. 

Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek) Additional Tags: old married spirk, They're in their 50's and working as diplomats, If you bug their rooms you deserve what you see and hear, If you don't like it then that's a you problem, Exhibitionism, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Bottom James T. Kirk, Top Spock (Star Trek), (but really they're both vers switches), Klingon Boys Being Boys, Perpetually Annoyed Starfleet Admirals, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, The low low quality standards of Space Ikea, Vulcans don't lie, Fluff and Humor, Sexual Humor, All comfort no angst, James T. Kirk Loves Spock, Spock Loves James T. Kirk, But even in his 50's everyone crushes on Spock, Inspired by a Tumblr fic request, And by a line from Rifftrax

  Summary:

Jim’s hands closed around Spock’s biceps. He stared into his husband’s luminous brown eyes, breathless, lips barely parted.

“Not in front of the Klingons, Captain,” Spock chided.

Jim closed his mouth. Instead of letting go, his fingers tightened in the scarlet fabric of Spock’s uniform. “Alright, Spock” His voice lowered to a seductive whisper, “But if I ever get to show you off in front of the Romulans I’m gonna shake the paint off your walls.”

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

✿ - Sex headcanon for tarlos?🥵😁

🥵 indeed, haha. Thanks for the ask!

They laugh a lot, like sometimes TK will say something so dumb they have to stop because Carlos is, like, ugly laughing. TK rubs his back until he’s composed enough to resume.

They banter throughout but there is usually a point where Carlos has to tell TK to shut up so he can concentrate, lol 😖

TK always gets consent before he puts his hands in Carlos’s hair (see appearance ask).

They are just as passionate, maybe even more so, as they were in the beginning.

There have been injuries. Carlos forgets his own strength sometimes. TK has fallen off the bed. More than once. Carlos is always mildly horrified and apologetic, but TK usually jumps back up and says “keep going babe, it was just getting good!” It’s actually a turn on for him that Carlos can just throw him across the room.

TK cried the first time after they got back together. And the second time too.

Carlos always needs a little snack after. Sometimes during if they’re going multiple rounds — Carlos is fit as hell but TK runs and bikes so he’s got a little better endurance.

They cuddle a lot and that’s TK’s favorite part.

Carlos is obsessed with TK’s ass.

TK is obsessed with Carlos’s everything.

Thanks everyone who has sent asks, these are really fun and it’s helping spark some new creativity!

[badideacentral]

prohibited actions during sexytimes

playing big time rush songs

motorboat sounds on titty(s) - (s) added after loophole was found

playing the disney magic happens parade theme

super mario bros. toad roleplay

quoting male authors trying to describe women on a base level and still somehow sexualizing her (ex. her breasts boobed boobily)

imitating the supernatural pudding scene but with titties

7. quoting the dog of wisdom

8. comparing titties to a child play mat

9. using the word bestie

10. quoting game grumps yoda jokes

[upsurgecomic]

[simon-x-billy]

[bigfatboygirl]

I love being squishy and soft. Also please fetishize my thighs thanks

[jessicanjpa]

Jasper’s level of PDA comfortability? Like will he hug/kiss/sit with Alice in front of The Cullen’s? The time they travelled with Peter/Charlotte?

He's totally fine with a quick kiss for comfort or "see you later," etc. Hugs too, and couch cuddles. Not so much snuggles, exactly, or anything approaching how Rosalie and Emmett (presumably) can so easily forget they have an audience. He reached this comfort level soon after they joined the family, although it took a while for him to feel comfortable doing anything with Alice in bed when anyone else was home. Especially Edward. So Alice humored him and they went "hunting" a lot. (Jasper actually did need to hunt super often then, so it worked out.) Even after all these years, he still prefers total privacy or at least keeps things quiet when they have sex.

But back when they were traveling with Peter and Charlotte, I don't know... What do you think? (I missed this detail when forming my headcanons so I really haven't thought about it.)

[sunast0es]

so like when gundham tanaka enters a room do all the dogs just start immediately banging it out like 

“oh shit he’s here. it’s time. i feel so relaxed. 😏” like---

[viper06filthyfan89]

Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

Underage

Categories:

F/M

M/M

Other

Fandoms:

Wednesday (TV 2022)

Original Work

Relationships:

Donovan Galpin & Original Character(s)

Donovan Galpin/Lucas Walker

Characters:

Donovan Galpin

Original Female Character(s)

Original Male Character(s)

Original Child Character(s)

Additional Tags:

Rape/Non-con Elements

Underage Rape/Non-con

I FUCKING LOVE DONOVAN GALPIN

Brief mentions of the Wednesday (2022) show

Nothing else is realistic

OC after OC

Semi-Public Sex

Oral Sex

Underage Sex

This is pure filth

Donovan Galpin is an Outcast

Mind Manipulation

Don has powers

this is just sex

with pinches of plot

Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot

Porn

Large Cock

Extra sensitive cock

you should suspend your disbelief if you're gonna read this

it still has some story at the beginning

a build up of sorts

an introduction to the main character

this Don is nothing like the Don of the show

though he does have his face

Language: English

Published: 2024-03-03

Words: 2,891

Chapters:1/?

Summary:

Forget everything you know about the Wednesday show (2022) and forget everything you know about Donovan J. Galpin. This is a new man in his new life, free to return to his true self. He lives like he wants to live; he fucks who or what he wants to fuck (he always had done that, but now he's not afraid of any repercussions). A fun and filthy ride.....   P.S. Don't like - don't read, simple as that. All warnings are in the tags.

[badideacentral]

what’s everyone’s funniest sex story?

i was two knuckles deep into my ex and felt something weird on my hand. i pulled my fingers out and found a sequin

neither of us have anything with sequins on it

[lapetitepatte]

hot love…❤️🌹 — #illustration #illustrationartists #illustragram #illustrationschweiz #dogillustrations #dog #amore #sexytimes #seductive (hier: Zürich, Switzerland) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqDoATUqCRo/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=