#sfw.kj

[zvdvdlvr]

— I Love You

— 🧠 synopsis. A tough case leaves you in the more than willing arms of SSA Aaron Hotchner.

— 🧠 word count. 2,409

— 🧠 warnings. Foul language. Idiots to lovers. Friends to lovers. Weird plot. Possible jealous!Hotch.

Maybe it was the children that hadn’t been saved in time. Maybe it was the pitying glances from not only the team, but the police officers. Maybe, even, it was the way Aaron’s eyes flitted away any time y/n looked up. 

No, y/n was mad. Angry, spiteful, defiant- any other synonyms for angry. The fact that the unsub had been completely fooled by y/n’s act until he had promptly decided he didn’t believe y/n’s promise to help in any way she could to lower his prison sentence. That’s the thing with schizophrenics: they’re extremely paranoid.

Y/n was so infuriated, she refused to talk- a habit that she had learned from childhood. If she didn’t say anything, she couldn’t get in trouble. It was a bad habit that y/n had eventually stopped by the time she went to college because the anger she kept inside of her without any kind of release would always find a way to rot her from the inside out. 

So now, even on the flight home, y/n still hasn’t said more than two sentences in a row.

— 🧠

Aaron Hotchner was a man with excellent observation skills and the ability to adapt. He knew y/n’s habit of reserving herself to silence due to the amount of time they have worked together, but Aaron felt like something was different this time.

Instead of starting the pile of paperwork he already had, Aaron instead found himself watching y/n. She was always extremely sensitive to cases that dealt with kids, but this seem to hit home, adding to the fact that their unsub had blown his brains out within a five foot radius of y/n and the seven-year-old girl that had been the last victim. 

When the team had gotten to the scene, they watched the little girl dissolve into y/n’s arms, brain matter and blood on the latter’s face. The look in y/n’s eyes when Derek had immediately rushed to the two of them was one of complete despair. Aaron watched, paralyzed, as you picked up the little girl and let her scream and wail near your ringing ears. You turned, pressing her head down so she wouldn’t look at the dead body and look Aaron dead in the eyes and took the child to the ambulance.

Something in your eyes had provoked worry in Aaron. Did you feel guilty? Were you not allowing yourself to break down when you needed to be strong for the little soul in your arms? Was there something you were trying to tell him?

“Hey,” Hotch murmured. He sat down as carefully as he could (which wasn’t too impressive seeing as it was 1 in the morning on a plane).

When you didn’t say anything, Hotch sighed. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I need you to know you did what you had to do. What he did… that wasn’t on you, y/n.”

Then you looked up at him with tears in your eyes and Aaron felt his heart sink. “Oh, honey…” he whispered. 

And then you were in his arms, crying, while trying not to wake up the others. “Hotch, I-“ you started, sniffling. 

“I’m here, sweetheart,” Aaron all but cooed, lightly carding his fingers through your hair. He knew you blamed yourself because that’s how you are. You always strive to do the best you possibly could, oftentimes resorting to neglecting yourself whenever you did something that you knew you could have done better or simply because you forgot. 

“It’s all my fault, Aaron, I- I could have saved him but- I… I messed up and I- I don’t even know what I did! And that little girl…” you trailed off, another wave of tears threatening to overtake your ability to speak. 

Aaron’s throat bobbed as he struggled to find the words to comfort the woman in his arms. Long ago had he resigned to simply being y/n’s boss/borderline friend because he accepted the fact that- as much as he hated to admit it- he was older, not your type, or just simply unattractive. But he would do theoretically anything you asked him to do even if it caused him heartbreak in the future.

“You saved that little girl, angel. *You* did. If you save one of them, you save all of them. Focus on the good, honey, not the bad. If you can do that then you can do anything, and believe me,” Aaron smiled, “I have no doubt in my mind you can do anything.” 

Aaron held you and prayed to God that you didn’t hear how fast his heart was racing. He brushed your tears away and let you sleep on his shoulder, happy that he had hopefully gotten you out of your funk.

— 🧠

Later, Aaron woke up to Derek tapping his shoulder. “Do you want me to take our golden girl home?” Derek asked, with a softness to his voice that he had whenever he talked to you. 

Blinking away the tiredness from his eyes, Aaron shook his head. “No. No, I got her. Tjank you, Derek, but you need to go home and get some rest.” 

Derek nodded. “Get home safe,” he said to Hotch, a small smile in his face when he heard you sigh a little in you sleep and bury your head even further into Aaron’s neck.

Derek patted Aaron’s shoulder before taking his leave.

“Wake up, y/n,” Aaron murmured, heart swelling in his chest when he heard you mumble incoherent words.

Slinging his own go-bag and yours over his shoulders, Hotch helped you stand up.

“Hotch, lemme take my-“ you started, being cut off with a yawn.

“I got it, y/n,” Aaron chuckled. He let you slip your arm in his and all but lean on him as he made his way to his car. 

When he got you settled into the passage seat, Aaron tossed the bags in the back and started the drive to your house. 

“Aaron?” You asked, voice small.

He looked over at you. Despite the lack of light, Aaron watched you pick at your fingers. “Yeah?”

It took you a minute before saying something. You wanted to ask him why he kept calling you ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’. It’s not that you didn’t like it (you loved it), you just don’t think he could keep calling you that if he didn’t have any kind of attraction to you. You, though, you’ve been enamored with Aaron Hotchner since the day he shook your hand and offered you a job. 

Similarly, you wanted to ask him what he did when he got lost in his own mind; when he himself couldn’t pull himself out of his thoughts. 

So you settled on a breathless “Thank you”. 

Silence reigned once more as Aaron tried to pick out the meaning of your thanks. Where you thanking him for driving you home? For letting you fall asleep on him? For… being one of the best friends you’d ever had in your life without saying it?

When Aaron carried your bag to the door as you unlocked the it, he wondered if there was another universe where he was taking you home every night, going to bed with you, waking up to Jack begging for pancakes with you, dropping Jack off at school with you, and then going to work with you. Maybe, Aaron thought, somewhere in another universe I’m watching the woman I love fall asleep with my child in her arms. 

“Do you… need anything else?” Aaron asked, holding out y/n’s go-bag for her to take. 

Aaron kicked himself. He felt like a school boy whenever you’re around, and the fact that he’s standing in front of you and your home isn’t really helping his nerves.

“Would you maybe want to, uh… stay? For tonight?” Y/n blurted. Aaron’s eyes must have widened because he saw y/n become flustered. “I- you know, just for tonight. I need a ride to work tomorrow anyway… You- You might as well just stay.”

“If you want me to-“

“Please?” 

Aaron stepped into y/n’s house and immediately toed off his shoes. “Where do you want me to put this?” 

“I’ll take it.” She accepted the bag and walked to her room.

Aaron walked around the kitchen. Your house was clean and colorful. You had quite a few photos of the sunset framed by your television, but there were a lot more candid shots of the BAU then of your family. Hm.

“Come here, A,” you called from your room (?).

Dutifully, Aaron followed the sound of your voice, pushing your door open slowly and entering your room. Where you sleep. Where you get dressed and undressed. Where you live.

You walked over to Aaron and handed him a little pile of clothes. “These should fit. I guessed your size. If those don’t fit I have more men’s clothes.” 

“Why do you have men’s clothing?” Aaron asked, a smile toying at his lips. 

“Brothers, boyfriends… they’re comfy,” y/n shrugged. “Does it matter, Aaron?” 

Aaron watched you tilt your head, smirk widening. 

“Just curious.” He defends himself poorly, red tinging his cheeks as he scratches his head.

“Bathroom’s right in there,” you say, pointing to the door attached to your room. 

Aarom walks to your bathroom and shuts the door. He immediately releases a breath of air he hadn’t realize he had been holding. After turning on the lights, he changes into the clothes you gave him. Both owns smelled exactly like you, something that made Aaron smile.

He shut off the light and closed the door. “Thank you, y/n. I appreciate it.”

You looked up from your dresser. “You’d do the same for me. There’s nothing to thank me, Aaron.”

“What are you doing?” Aaron asked, approaching your figure. 

“I don’t think you would want to see me walk around in just a bra and boxers, A,” y/n laughs. 

The bluntness of your answers smacks Aaron in the face with a metal bar. “Boxers?” He finds himself asking.

You just laugh. “They’re comfortable.” 

“You don’t have to change your sleeping routine for me,” Aaron says quietly, eyes looking directly into your own.

“Are you sure?” 

“We’re just sleeping,” Aaron shrugs. “So there’s nothing to worry about.”

Your eyes flicker between your boss’s and suddenly your wondering how you got here. The line between boss/employee and more-than-friends/not-quite-dating was blurred and you didn’t even remember putting your thumb on how you felt about your boss.

“Okay,” you say slowly. You close the drawer, holding a sports bra and boxers. “I’m gonna go change and go to sleep… Do you want me to set up the couch or just sleep in the bed with me?” 

“What do you want, y/n?”

You direct your gaze to the floor. “I don’t care, honestly.” You weren’t just gonna tell your crush you feel safer when his touch is what lulls you to sleep, that you’ve been in love with him since practically the beginning of time, that you wanted more than just a night (of PG activities!) with him.

“I hear your brain going 200 miles an hour over there, sweetheart. What’re you thinking?” Aaron teases.

“Will you hold me, Aaron?” You ask, urging yourself to look into his eyes. Moment of truth, you think, he’s either gonna laugh in my face or I’m gonna fall even deeper in love with my boss as we cuddle.

Aaron feels winded at your tiny voice. Yes, he wants to scream, yes! “Go get changed, honey. I’ll be right here.” 

Then that smile is back and all Aaron wants to do his pick you up in his arms and kiss you, maybe spin you around the room. His heart swells in his chest again (it’s been doing that a lot lately, he notes) as you pat his arm in thanks as you pass him to head to your bathroom.

Aaron climbs into your bed, setting his essentials (badge, keys, gun, etc.,) on the nightstand. 

You flip off the light switch and pad over to the bed and slip under the covers. 

For what felt like a millennium, Aaron held his breath and waited. 

“Aaron, I have to tell you something. It’s been on my mind and… just hear me out. Please. You don’t have to say anything back and I understand if-“ you babble.

“Take a breath, y/n,” Aaron soothes. “What’s up?”

“I’m in love with you, Aaron Benjamin Hotchner. Like, if I had to choose between you over breathing I would literally spend my last breath telling you how much I love you. You are always on my mind, Aaron, and it hurts because I can’t do anything about it. I know I’m not your type, I know I’m just your co-worker, I know you probably aren’t looking to date anyone, but I just… I want you to know,” you ramble, words tumbling out of your mouth like Reid when he get’s started on some random fact. 

Aaron blinks, pupils widening. “Do you seriously think you’re ‘just a co-worker’ to me?” 

You swallow. “Yeah?”

“Do you think I would let just anyone call me Aaron? How often to you see me taking out Morgan for coffee when he gets cranky? Do I almost always end up sitting by Emily on the flight home after a case? Do I call Spencer ‘sweetheart’ and ‘honey’?” Aaron asks quietly, hand resting on your cheek while he tucks a loc of hair under your ear so he can see your eyes better. “Jack loves you. I love you.” Aaron laughs at how comically large your eyes get.

“Jack loves me?” You ask.

Aaron laughs. “He loves you ‘to the moon and back’.” 

“He loves that book, Aaron, don’t laugh at your baby boy,” you scold playfully.

“I outdo him though, because I love you to Saturn and back.”

You turn to the nightstand and shut the light off before turning back to face Aaron. “Will you hold me, Aaron? Please?” 

“C’mere, sweetheart,” Aaron says, opening his arms to welcome you into him. 

And then that’s when you know his words are true. His heart rate  is definitely elevated, but so is yours. “Will you tell me you love me, again?”

Aaron, now lying on his back with you clinging onto him like a weighted blanket, complied. Carding his fingers through her hair, Aaron lulled her mind off to a quiet, safe place. “I love you, angel,” Aaron whispered, pressing a soft kiss to y/n’s forhead.

[zvdvdlvr]

on tv!?

“you were on t.v.!?” kyle asked in disbelief. his jaw was basically on the floor as you just shrugged.

“only for like a year or two… until i transferred schools,” you casually said, still reading your book. simon, kyle, johnny, and price all stared at you in different levels of shock.

you attended an ivy league school for volleyball. and. you didnt tell anyone. until now.

soap’s eyebrows reached his hairline. “an’ yeh didn’ think ta tell us, ey? we had teh find out frommuh old video? i thought we were a team, lass. we tell each other everythin’!”

you laughed. “everything? i don’t think so, johnny-boy. beside the fact i shattered my wrist and broke my ankle like three times, i rode the bench most the time-“

“but you were on the fookin’ telly!” ghost protests.

price opened his mouth.

“don’t start, price,” you said.

price closed his mouth.

as soap and gaz bickered about your skill level and your old teammates, ghost and price still watched you read.

“and they wonder why i don’t tell them anything,” you mumbled to yourself.

[zvdvdlvr]

Y’all. Waking up with SSA Aaron Hotchner. Is just. My dream. 

Can you just imagine him holding onto your waist and pressing your skin to his? Like, his thumb rubbing circles over your hips through the thin blanket? Im crying.

Kissing your cheek when you’re still asleep just to watch you twitch and let out that happy sigh only Aaron can heard? Need it.

Brushing the staticky flyaways from your face so Aaron can memorize every single part of your face. And seeing you without the crease in your eyebrow that Aaron knows is there because of his job is a sight to behold wothing itself. Salivating right now.

Listening to your breathing pattern. It’s bizarre, Aaron thinks, but in his line of work, it’s a different kind of comfort to know that you’re here and you’re safe. Actually adorable.

I just need him. Like. I need him.

[zvdvdlvr]

em in white 🤍

dating emily prentiss

hand holding, cooing at babies, trips to the beach, polaroids everywhere, snow angels when it snows, “oh! look at that sunset, y/n!”, soft/slow kisses, lingering glances, music drifting from her speakers while you both cook dinner, your little kiddo giggling from her high chair as she watched you and emily fool around, slow dancing in the moonlight of your home

[zvdvdlvr]

doctor!aaron aesthetic

talking to him over steaming cups of coffee in the morning, aaron buying you the most expensive things you lay your eyes on because you deserve the best, going out to dinner with aaron and him asking you questions about the new romance/horror books you bought, giving you his credit card so you can buy anything that catches your eyes, getting you and jack some fur babies so you don’t feel so lonely when he’s at work.

[zvdvdlvr]

Braiding Emily’s hair because she mentioned how well you braid your own hair. Dutch, french, rooe, fish tail, you can do it all.

You started doing it once a week, pulling her hair into a loose french braid for her night out with friends, or just a simple three strand braid for protection.

But as you braided her hair more and more, Emily found more and more reasons to talk to you and strengthen your friendship.

Eventually, Emily started having you work your magic in the mornings after a long night at the hotel of searching for leads. You’d pull her hair back with an intricate dutch braid and tie them together in a crown by the base of Emily’s neck. Or even plait her hair if you’re just too short on time!

And then you started dating. Emily would have picked up many skills by now, enough to braid your hair in return if you needed/wanted. And even though she could do her own hair now Emily wanted you to do it.

So that became your thing.

After showering, Emily would immediately have her hair things ready. Her personal favorite was the two french braids- they always ended up looking beautiful when she took her hair out in the morning. Similarly, when you did the two top braids, she liked how unique it was since you didn’t do top braids much.

I just love it when people braid my hair im weird idc

[zvdvdlvr]

remus lupin aesthetic

[zvdvdlvr]

a small thingie so i can try to get jameson hawthorne’s personality down :p (fem reader)

jameson never realized how truly gorgeous you were until you were singing along to lana and taylor, hair whipping around in the wind. a toohy grin on jameson’s face as you reached for his hand after every song to press kisses on his knuckles.

jameson never thought he could love so imperfectly pure with someone that saw more than just a wealthy man or a reckless drinker. he saw his future in you, a future he couldn’t see before he met you.

obviously jameson figured he would be in a relationship or two at some point or another, but never this wonderful. the way you look at him like he hung the moon, your alcohal stained kisses, how you would be so attentive to him… jameson was sick with love. he was overhelmed in a good way. at least this high wouldn’t end in something dangerous <3

@paxamillius peep my man 😍🫶🏼

[zvdvdlvr]

late night cuddles/"pillow talk" with kevin >>

"nah, babe, you're goin' next week. we've all run out of stories," kevin said, throwing an arm around you as you both traveled up the stairs.

"sandra hasn't-" you started, already knowing what kevin would say.

he chuckled. his small laugh trailed off as he unconsciously leaned more on you to get upstairs to the 'dorm' hallway. "yeah," he murmured, "sandra has a thing for getting hot 'n' heavy with angels. anything's better than that."

☆☆☆

"'m glad you don't have a roommate," kevin whispered into the inky darkness of your room.

silver tinted light streamed in through your window, landing and reflecting off of kevin's pale skin. his eyes shined brightly as they found yours, a small smile on his face at the comforting intimacy of the easy closeness of the both of you. "yeah?"

kevin's smile got a little wider. "yeah..." he trailed off, raising a hand to trace the features on your face. "otherwise i wouldn't feel this... this peaceful." there was so much raw emotion in that word, and his movements faltered a little. the quiver in his voice showed just how vulnerable he was.

"no one's ever loved me like you have," kevin whimpered. you felt your eyebrows knit together as kevin crumbled in your arms. "i miss you, y/n, i miss you," he sobbed quietly. his shaking form was a far cry from the poised figure looming in a wooden chair in an d library.

"i know, angel. i'm here," you answered, feeling tears prick in your own eyes at kevin's gut wrenching cries. his cries of love, regret, anger, madness... it hurt.

"i don't want you to leave- i don't wanna leave-" he stammered, breaths growing increasingly irratic as he clutched desperately at the fabric of your shirt.

"no one's leaving, sweetheart. no one will. we'll be okay."

"i'm dying," kevin muttered to himself. "we'll be okay?" he asked after abruptly pulling his face from your neck to see your face.

"we'll be okay," you affirmed, brushing a lock of blond hair from kevin's sticky forhead. "just... just go to sleep, love. we'll wake up and we'll be okay. yeah? sound good?"

"yeah." kevin nodded. "yeah that sounds good."

after kevin's hiccup/sniffle concoction finally went away and his breathing even out, you opened your eyes for one last glance before falling into the welcoming arms of unconsciousness. "i love you," you whispered into kevin's ear after a lone kiss to the temple.

[zvdvdlvr]

depression is crazy because i know i have potential but the sotuation im stuck in and the people im with make it feel like ill never get out of my own life. ykwim?

[zvdvdlvr]

ellie williams dating an alt/(nu) metalhead gf as a moodboard:

[zvdvdlvr]

As I'm scrolling, I see your posts about Soap

And based on context clues I assume it's the name of a character and i need to be introduced to this Soap

Because why is their name Soap?

Please feel free to use this ask to ramble I'm genuinely so curious

hes my boyfriend who’s also my other boyfriend’s boyfriend who isn’t my boyfriend eho also isnt officially dating his boyfriend

ok so he’s a freaking hottie with a mohawk who is definitely gay for ghost (traumatized hottie but a sweetheart). soap’s government name is john mactavish. im do sleep deprived so im trying not to repeat the sam sentance over and over again but basically soap is john’s callsign in the military. soap is a demolitions expert and he got his callsign because of how fast he is at cleaning houses. im pretty sure kevin mckidd is soap’s voice actor for the OG CoD games but i cant really remember. HES LITERALLY SMOKING BRUH. he dies in modern warfare 3 (rip big dawg) and its like really sad especially when price is like shaking him and in denial for a hot second about soap being dead. bluds also a sniper

he has a badass mohawk

ive only been in the cod fandom for like a couple months so i only know random bits and pieces (ask me to talk about MK Ultra and CoD:BOCW and id talk your ear off about adler and the red door and YSHSHSHEHHE)

long story short hes just another gay twink in the military 🫡

[zvdvdlvr]

i just killed a spider inmy room with goosebumps ‘return of the mummy’. it is 22:55 and i think it is the first time this year killing a bug in my room. send help, i wont be sleeping tonight.

[zvdvdlvr]

if everything goes according to plan, i should have this fic done within the next year and half!

[zvdvdlvr]

BIG BRO VANCE CARRYING HIS LIL SIS UPSTAIRS

they were watching some movies and then she just falls asleep on his shoulder 'n he carries her to bed and tucks her in <33

YES THIS IS THE CUTEST!!

as she flopped around in her bed, vance would linger in the doorway just for a second to think of just how far they both have grown. sometimes even tears would pool in his eyes at just how much trust his little sister puts inhim and vance never wants to disappoint her :(( <33

he’d kiss her forehead and she’s just out like a light! vance always makes sure to tuck in the blankets just right so his sister doesn’t fall out of bed and hit her head (that’s probably happened before).

big brother!vance>>

[zvdvdlvr]

its so crazy that i’ll pop on tumblr and then dm people that have no idea i even exist but it makes me so happy because i see these people as celebrities