#shadow of the vampire

[swkywalker]

NOSFERATU THE VAMPYRE (1979) dir. Werner Herzog THE LOST BOYS (1987) dir. Joel Schumacher VAMPIRE'S KISS (1988) dir. Robert Bierman BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992) dir. Francis Ford Coppola THE SIMPSONS 5.05 "Threehouses of Horror IV" (1993) dir. David Silverman DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT (1995) dir. Mel Brooks SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE (2000) dir. E. Elias Merhige LOGAN (2017) dir. James Mangold NOSFERATU (2024) dir. Robert Eggers

[talesfromthecrypts]

Willem Dafoe as Max Schrek in Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

[see-arcane]

You know, I think what "Schreck" in Shadow of the Vampire talks about when he drunkenly brings up why Dracula made him sad should be the elements adaptations that want to make the Count more sympathetic/tragic should focus on.

Max Schreck: Dracula hasn't had servants in 400 years and then a man comes to his ancestral home, and he must convince him that he... that he is like the man. He has to feed him, when he himself hasn't eaten food in centuries. Can he even remember how to buy bread? How to select cheese and wine? And then he remembers the rest of it. How to prepare a meal, how to make a bed. He remembers his first glory, his armies, his retainers, and what he is reduced to. The loneliest part of the book comes... when the man accidentally sees Dracula setting his table

Absolutely. And on the subject, there really are a lot of ways to highlight flashes of humanity or allow sympathy for Dracula that don't just whittle down to 'Oh I Want Reincarnated Wifey So Bad :'(.'

He was a great warlord, feared, respected, ruthless, relentless.

He was an active polymath of alchemy, sorcery, and occult lessons taught beneath a mountain by impossible infernal tutors.

He was a conqueror who made a bargain to conquer even Death.

He was. He was. He was.

But what is he now?

An old dragon who lets his captured maidens mock him when he snarls and brings their meals. A withered cadaver who, through restraint or simple ennui, has allowed himself to go hungry for who knows how long, pacing around the ruin that was once a castle. A dormant monster grown bored of baring his teeth at the quaking chattel who are now all but too wrung out to feed upon.

Van Helsing puts a lot of weight on the implication that Dracula has been planning the 'first England, then the world!' scheme for centuries, but...I can't buy that. It doesn't take that long to go house shopping or even to grasp another language. I don't think England was even that much of a vital prize in the old bat bastard's eyes.

But conquest is a thing he knows. A thing that made him happy once upon a time, when he was a man. If he conquers that nation, if he eats the world after it, surely he will be happy again. He will not weep like Alexander. He will rule! He will be powerful! He will be happy! There will have been a point to all of this after all..!

All this plays behind his bloodstain eyes as he stares into the fire.

"...The warlike days are over. Blood is too precious a thing in these days of dishonourable peace; and the glories of the great races are as a tale that is told.”

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

willem dafoe getting to be in not one but two nosferatu related movies feels like a biblical level of greed

[cary-elwes]

My 10 favorite hot looks of Cary

[the-nightly-film]

You either die the villain...

Or live long enough to see yourself become the good guy

[voluptuarian]

Rating the Orloks from most to least fuckable

Now that I've watched all 3 Nosferatus and Shadow of the Vampire, its time to answer the most important question anybody could have about these films: which Count Orlok is the most fuckable??

1922: Ok, maybe I can see it. Grandpa is stunting in doorways and serving with his little outfit and we appreciate a man who can wear many hats. Also respect to an og silent film baddy.

Rating: not for me, but I'll hear you out

2024: This one's for the folks who only ever fixate on the crustiest most questionable characters possible. Like crushed on Heisenberg from Resident Evil, wants do filthy things to Grima Wormtongue folks. Pros: he's tall, I guess. The mustache is kind of charming and I will admit the brief flicker of genuine human emotion and the speeches in reconstructed quasi-Dacian are kind of compelling. Cons: the balding, peeling, scabies-riddled corpse-look and soul-deep workhouse wheeze are decidely unattractive. I can only imagine the olfactory aspects are not much better. Did look remarkably improved after eating a couple people but still. (Whether those people were friends of yours or not probably also factoring in here.) The Or-cock is respectably proportioned but has syphilitic vibes. Unclear whether the Cossack top lock should be a pro or con, so just leaving that here. I will say the whole vibe generally is still less off-putting than a number of customer service interactions I've had.

Rating: at least this is better than having to hear how fuckable Beetlejuice is again

Shadow of the Vampire: He's weird, he's ugly, he's unappealing, he owns one outfit, he drops into remiscences about his glorious youth that you aren't sure whether to believe or not, he's disturbingly obsessed with a female celebrity, he lives in a hole and comes out occasionally to Ozzy Osbourne a bat or two and clack his nasty acrylics at people like a tiktok child. This is just any normal hateful, horrifying old gay man you'd pass on the street.

Rating: No

1979: Imagine the world's most inhumanely overbred, miserable and self-pitying toy dog sits across the table from you. It glares at you with total hatred burning in its weepy red eyes, breath snuffling loudly through its stunted nasal passages. Already it relishes the prospect of your imminent death in its shriveled, malformed little heart. And then it starts licking you. That is 79 Orlok.

Rating: possibly the least fuckable vampire in history. Ew

[illiana-mystery]

He's so oddly charming.

[haveyouseenthismovie-poll]

[talesfromthecrypts]

The loneliest part of the book comes when the man accidentally sees Dracula setting his table.

Shadow of the Vampire (2000) dir. E. Elias Merhige

[goryhorroor]

favorite horror movies (121-130)

[a-swift-and-terrible-sword]

H.R. Giger enjoying Shadow of the Vampire (2014)

[myfairgame]

[cary-elwes]