#she Is learning. its just. her learning has victims. but Not Me 😁😁

[ssaalexblake]

My niece likes to make 'concoctions' out of food. She can use stuff almost out of date/ past best before that we'll probably not eat ourselves or stuff we ended up with an excess of bc encouraging cooking isn't bad and even when she's doing something weird I can explain how to correctly prepare fruit or veg or cooking techniques etc etc. But this is not food. Even she doesn't call it food. I am also not allowed to eat in the afternoons because I have to fast to take meds before dinner, and I have Never been happier to be chronically ill. Some of this stuff is just. Scary. And I have a tailor made excuse to not eat it that she's not offended by! I win this round.

[ardathksheyna]

I'm a Glutton for Punishment

Blender, creative writing, and threatening to learn new programming languages all in the same day.

What I'm trying to do above is create a real-time depth shader based on the distance between two objects instead of the camera. Tried using camera coordinates and what I ended up with was unpredictable depending on the camera used. So maybe instead of a camera, I use an empty object to define the scene depth. That should be easy, right? Right?

Lol nope.

Actually, I think I might be on the right track thanks to the Blender Artists forum.

At least I can report that I've some good progress on recreating the toon shader setup I originally had in Poser 😁 I'll post some screen-shots of my progress at some point. The node setup though...

When I get sufficiently frustrated, I take a break from Blender and write scenes for Silent Shadow: Firestorm. Of course, that's not any easier because I'm attempting to write about trauma experienced by a male SA survivor. That's challenging and it's an area I have no experience in.

However, that isn't the main plot of Firestorm—it's just one of many sub-plots in the lives of the characters involved.

Hell, maybe I should start learning C++ or C# like I've been planning to do when even writing gets frustrating!

But any way, if you'd like to know more deets about Silent Shadow: Firestorm, just keep reading but note that there's a TW if you proceed.

Why tackle something like male SA, though? Because in my opinion, not enough gets said about men who have been SA'd.

Granted, there's more awareness now but there's still this general attitude that men are just supposed to automatically want sex from any woman who offers, and they're either gay or cucks if they don't want it 🙄 Modern society makes me want to vomit sometimes.

We all know that's bullshit and to me, it's the same victim-blaming mentality that gets handed down to women SA survivors all the time.

The main plot of Firestorm actually has to do with weather—which shouldn't come as a surprise considering my obsession with it. The setting for Silent Shadow is Minnesota, and we have some crazy off-kilter weather up here that's only been made crazier by climate change. Tornadoes and derechos should not happen in December, dammit!

The memes about Minnesota experiencing three seasons in one day aren't a joke and it has happened a few times in my life-time.

The setting is supposed to be in the late fall—a few weeks before Thanksgiving, and the weather is weirdly warm and occasionally rainy. There's a blocking pattern in place that's keeping the weather warm—not completely unheard of for fall—but it is unusual in its strength, intensity, and persistence. Local meteorologists keep predicting that the pattern should break any day now but doesn't.

One aspect of Syleth's talent is a sensitivity to weather. She can sense that there's something up with the weather, but doesn't have time to look into it because...

Meanwhile, someone is burning down warehouses on the city's north-side. Wes, a police detective and friend of Syleth, suspects that magic is involved somehow so he asks her to look into it.

However, when Syleth and Ciaran begin their investigation into the fires, they end up with more than they bargained for—and a mysterious entity has set its sights on Syleth for some mysterious reason.

While Syleth and Ciaran are dealing with mysterious fires and wonky weather, Rowan saves a young girl from being forced into prostitution. He learns that the girl is far more than what she seems. And his hands are already full because he needs to find homes for five orange kittens!

~~~

So yeah, that's the basis for Silent Shadow: Firestorm. Firestorm is turning out to be more fun to write because the characters already know each other so there's no introductions. It's why I'm having a harder time with Hawk & Wolf because in that story, I'm establishing the characters and the world that they live in.

Whew, and now back to Blender!

[gogolstoelicker]

Dorm Leaders with a Yosano like MC

warning(s): none

notes: bear with me if they're a little ooc

You carry yourself with grace and dignity. You pride yourself in being a strong individual and a capable doctor. A feminist who believes both men and women should have equal rights.

A calm and composed individual but when angered, you're quite the force to contend, often sadistic in retaliation.

Riddle:

his parents are doctors/healers so knowing that you are a doctor too, makes him have a bit of respect for you

he likes the way you carry yourself, SOMEONE can surely learn a thing or two from you a little

COUGH COUGH adeuce duo COUGH COUGH

probably angered you one time during the tart incident

sometimes he woke up in cold sweat in the middle of the night because he have a nightmare about it

your uh hobby? interest? in scary stuff is making him sweat a little😁

esp when he got hurt and the way you used your ability on him makes him wants to run for the hills

don't get me wrong, it's a cool ability

but he does not want to EVER go through that again

(for context, yosano's ability is "thou shalt not die" and it's a healing ability but she have to put her victims near death to heal them)

other than that, he enjoys being around you!!

you don't go around breaking rules like your two friends did and your aura is just chef kiss

Leona:

at first thought you're just some goody two shoes

until crowley blackmailed asked you to investigate that thing idk what to call it

yeah well uh he lowkey angered you so here we are

he went from 🙄😼 to 😃😦⁉️

well he kind of like how you're strong and know to stand your ground when something that displeases you happened

but damn did that 180 personality and aura switch scared him a little

one thing for sure, he never wanted you to heal him again

even the whole savanaclaw cowers in fear when they see you bc they got reminded of how you healed them

you remind him of those women in the afterglow savannah(?)

he earned a small bit of respect for u

only a little tho

doesn't really care about your hobby for scary things honestly

like you could see a building on fire and say its pretty and he would just shrug and go back to sleep

Azul:

he can relate to you!!

the way you're just full of grace and calm until you did a 180 to a scary and sadistic is just 🤰

(yes thats some random emoji bc idk how else to describe this)

he knows a lot what's that like 🤔

your healing ability is reaaalllly cool yknow😁

he's just saying! but it's reaaaallly reaaaally cool yknow😁😁😁

oh if only he can get his hands on it

along with the others, pls never heal him again.

he'll give u his contracts just pls never heal him EVER again.😁

yes, he's that desperate for you to never heal him again

it gave him more issues than heal honestly /hj

he doesn't really mind your hobby for scary stuff, its just uh

a hobby? u do u. he have his own hobbies too

plus, look at the school y'all are in

mhm. exactly.

Kalim:

oh wow you're a doctor and you have a healing ability? THAT'S SO COOL?

he has fun following you around

probably accidentally followed you on your shopping trip and became your bag holder

while he's more than happy to help, he have the attention span of a goldfish so

see he might've accidentally dropped ur stuff😬

and he may or may not seen you go 😦🤬

anyways, hes fine!! no kalim is harmed in the process!!

he doesn't really get your hobby but he's fine with it

u like these dark and scary things? oh sure!! there's probably smth interesting abt them one way or another

anyways, creativity left the chat again sorry JSNSJS

Vil:

went debby ryan on u

well not literally but yknow what i mean

like FINALLY someone who's even worthy of being looked at by vil

but pls do try to calm ur uh sadistic nature?

while he doesn't mind it that much, he does think it's a little haha uh😬😅😱

well he sure don't mind ur hobby much

i mean look at the people he's next to everyday

look at rook and epel

exactly

shopping buddies⁉️‼️

literally got chef kiss taste

probably bond over yalls scrumptious taste

Idia:

YOU AIN'T SPECIAL HE STILL AVOIDS U (2)🤬‼️

doctor or not, graceful or not, u are a human

meeting human = interaction

human interaction = ❌no❌

or u can talk yeah that's all

well i mean ur healing ability is cool but seeing how you heal ur victims um😅😱

well it's safe to say he found another reason to never go out

that personality switch of urs bro

thank the seven he haven't made u angry yet

well y e t

cause have y'all seen chapter 6

well i haven't but u get me

Malleus:

well he doesn't treat u any different

a friend is a friend yes:D‼️⁉️

tho, he does quite admire how u carry yourself

that 180 personality switch amuses him honestly

well he was probably not there to witness it personally(since he's not invited)

lilia probably told him and he went "ooo interesting😮🤔"

heard of ur healing ability from lilia too probably

or maybe sebek idk

angry scared rants about it and he went 😮⁉️AINT THEY MAGICLESS⁉️

well uh at least he's interested?

[trishvaylar]

I usually tend to do what my heart desires, so this night my heart desired The Freelancer, The Blacklist, Season 1, Episode 2.

That moment, when Liz said about Floriana, that she should have known, brought about a memory of her saying to Tom at a later Season (3, actually), that she thinks herself to be a bad profiler...it has gotten me to think that during those 7 Seasons my flags about a character have practically always been correct. It was correct about Fowler, who I disliked from her first on-screen moment; it was correct about Floriana; about many of them...so I guess my feelings about Fakerina are although right. I feel she is dangerous and an imposter (I am sure there). About Tom my hunch was right - he may have been capable of killing another human being, but his live for Liz has never been questioned by me.

But I do think that Liz is a good profiler. She was taught to read criminals, which is very specific, but she was not taught to understand what people are really like. That is what Red has been teaching her to do for many years now. And she is still not very good at that.

My advice (😁just kidding) would be for Liz to go out and work for six months in a domestic violence victims' rehabilitation system. Why? Because such expirience teaches one to notice more then people usually let on. The look in the eyes, the small subtle mini-expressions, the body language, the tone of voice, how a person reacts under pressure, even the sequence in which certain questions should be asked, how to detect a lie and determine the reason why the person is not telling the truth (all one needs to do is watch and listen closely). How to detect fear and its' sources. Simply watch and listen to both perpetrators and victims.

I must say that The Blacklist is masterfully done; it does not decieve you. You are shown exactly what you are supposed to see.

I remember that moment in Season 1, in Frederick Barnes, when Liz confronts Red, calling his efforts to protect her "misguided". I knew then that she was wrong, his intentions are not misguided, their source is love. Love of a Parent for a Child, pure and simple. Liz' doubts eventually spring not from the fact that Red is a criminal mastermind, but from her own life expirience - it is difficult for her to trust anybody, for she thinks of herself as a loner. She only chose to trust Tom and he decieved her (fixed that eventually, but the scar is there still). Now she chooses to trust Fakerina (a bad misguided move, but quite in Liz' character - she trusts the wrong people by habit). It will backfire eventually of cause. But she needs to go through it to grow internally, to accept the fact that maybe she could only believe the one person who told her from the beginning that she could trust him.

Liz is a good profiler but her expirience is lacking in one very important aspect - to read not criminals, but ordinary people whose whole lives are a lie. Most domestic crimes never even reach the police (let alone the courthouse), because both the perpetuators and the victims live a lie they wear like second scene. Learn to see the sighns, and you see it all.

I remember one girl, she was 12, when she was led to us by one of the social services. Everyone was convinced that she was a victim of a child molester, and the suspicion fell on her step-father. All the sighns were there. The reactins were exact for such situations. But something seemed off somehow: when a man entered the room, she cast her eyes down, flinched, but she did not panic. But when a woman did, the girl literally folded upon herself. She was obviously triyng to protect herself. From a woman, not a man. I adviced my partner to give a closer look to the mother, to investigate her. The resolt was astounding... the molester was the mother, not the step-dad. One observation, which, if lacking, could have cost an innocent man his freedom and life. And the victim would have been turned back to the molester... and no one would have been the wiser...

I just remembered a beautiful and telling Spader movie, Dream Lover. I knew nothing about it when I first watched it. But I immidiately thought that Lena can't be trusted. The actress does a marvelous job at conveying those telltale sighns which betray a sceaming lier, a spider waeving a web round an unsuspacting fly. Or that woman in one of the earlier The Practice Season 8 (notice how they are all Spader movies😂) episodes, who cheated on her husband with his best friend? With a cold, cruel, moking look in her eyes. I told myself then - this one got what she deserved. For cruelty leaves a scar on the victims' soul, and a deep one at that.

Liz just needs to look closer. Evil leaves a mark, and so will not go unnoticed. You can always notice the edges, if one is wearing a mask for no mask ever blands in completely. Even Liz herself is trying to wear her darker self as people wear masks. Sooner then later she will feel the need to remove it - you can not breath well, if you wear a mask for too long. Your real nature will out. And for both Red and Liz that is a good nature, honest, honourable and kind.

#The Blacklist #Season 1 #The Freelancer #Liz as a profiler #Red #How to gain personal expirince to read people #just a lot of random personal thoughts #Liz is a good profiler #She and Red are good people #Mother and Daughter they are