#she didn’t even like call him names she just said ‘hey being toxic is kinda cringe’

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I’ll make you get canceled and called part of a harassment campaign for not being friends with a guy who kind of sucks

[ariichive]

trial period

various haikyuu

in which he finds an opportunity in your boyfriend's errors. suna, osamu, iwaizumi, and akaashi fem reader | cursing | grumpy volleyball players | jealousy | they see their chance and take it | toxic relationships | akaashi's is a bit angsty but its still sweet, promise | i used kenji as a name for readers bf

suna

suna felt like shit; everything was pissing him off today. his coach was harder on him, he forgot his water bottle, and the heat was terrible. he was convinced nothing could make his day worse.

well that's what he thought until his phone went off.

'(name): is this a a good gift set for guys?'

image sent.

'(name): or should I get him a new video game??? thx for ur help rinnie :)'

yeah, his day could definitely get worse.

he stared at your text messages, not even wanting to respond. there was nothing more humiliating than his crush of almost a year texting him about another guy. in all honest, he didn't give a fuck about that sorry excuse of a man that you called your boyfriend.

maybe he was biased, but he honestly didn't care. how could perfect, beautiful you settle for a man who forgot your birthday 3 months ago?

shit just didn’t make sense; now here you are, gift shopping for his birthday. if it were up to suna, he’d make sure you didn’t spend a penny on the man’s birthday. but if things were so easy, he’d gave you in his arms after a long day.

shaking his head, suna typed up a quick, dry response. it wasn’t his intention to come off as an asshole, but at the same time, it kinda was. maybe you’d finally get the hint.

suna ignored the buzzing of his phone as he walked into his local grocery store, he'll answer after buying a few snacks for his apartment. he didn't like ignoring your messages, but he also didn't like your boyfriend.

he saw a familiar, hated haircut as he walked mindlessly through the aisles. squinting his eyes, he made sure his eyes weren't deceiving him; but why was he in the women's care section?

sure, there was a small possibility of him buying you something. however, from what he's heard, your boyfriend has never given you flowers. he walked a little closer, not worried about being recognized because the two had only ever briefly met.

suna decided to pull out his phone; he felt something in his gut screaming at him.

suna quickly skimmed over your texts of you asking which video game to buy him. he facetimed you, making sure his headphones were connected.

"you asshole, you're lucky i'm still at the store," your voice spoke beautifully into his ears (he was ignoring your rude remarks). "yeah yeah, lemme see the video game options."

suna heard you sigh before you flipped the facetime camera, showing the huge display of video games.

he didn't look back at his phone, instead looking at your boyfriend- well it wasn't just your boyfriend anymore, he had a girl looking at him with a big smile on her face.

looking a bit closer, he saw the cause of her happiness. in her hands, she was holding two packages of pregnancy tests, different brands.

now, suna didn't want to assume anything; that could be a sister or a cousin. but his suspicions were only confirmed when she gave a big kiss on his lips.

"you're not even looking- are you at the store?" you said after seeing the background of his facetime screen. you watched as he looked lost in thought, standing in front of a shelf of pads. "why are you in the women's section? actually, while you're there can you grab me more..." when you noticed he wasn't listening, you got a bit worried. "rin?"

"sorry, i'm here. hey, i actually have something to show you, don't get mad.. at least not at me, alright?" you stared confused as he flipped the camera to his back one. now everything he was seeing, you were too.

"oh is that kenji? he said he would be at the.." you lost your train of thought as you witnessed kenji wrap an arm around a girl he was with, placing a small kiss on her head.

you could only stay silent as you watched the two happily walk away.

suna felt like an asshole that he was the one to reveal this to you, but it would've been worse if he hadn't.

"o-oh," you were the first to break the silence. "want me to go say something to him? you know i will." suna's own heart broke a little as he heard the cracking of your voice. "no, it's fine. uhh," you took a quick pause in your sentence, contemplating your words carefully, "do you think, you could come over for a little?"

suna glanced down at his screen, seeing you were already out of the video game shack and into the freshness of the outside air.

"yeah, i'll be there soon. be careful going home okay?"

"okay, bye suna."

no nickname or first name, you were definitely upset.

suna sighed as he continued his grocery shopping; making sure not to get anything refrigerated as he didn't know how long he was going to be at your place.

(he grabbed a few of your favorite snacks and a weird-looking stuffed animal he had a feeling you'd like)

after paying and making a mental note to come back later for milk, he went on his way to your place.

he wasn't quite sure what he was expecting when he got to your apartment, but nothing prepared him for seeing you open your door with sad eyes and a twitching lip; sad but not wanting to show.

"hey," you greeted him with a nod which he reciprocated, holding up his grocery bags. "we can watch that stupid reality show you like," suna stretched as he got comfortable in your living room.

"it's not stupid you just don't understand it."

and when the show was just white noise in the background as he listened to you complain about your now ex-boyfriend was turned into you falling asleep, using the cheap plush he bought you as a pillow; he felt like he belonged there with you.

even as your phone blew up with messages from your ex, suna stayed focused on you.

(he blocked the number).

osamu

you stared at the delivered message you sent to your boyfriend 6 hours ago, only growing more irritated as time went by. the two of you had a date planned for later tonight at a fancy restaurant; one he insisted on going to and you agreed eagerly.

you had already gotten all dolled up, and even though you didn't want to go on the date originally, you did do your best to get ready, and it was a bit disappointing to not go out now.

time was only getting closer, and there was still no response from your boyfriend. over the past week, you felt distant from him, hence your quick agreement to this date.

now, he wasn't even answering his phone. even after ringing kenji multiple times and going straight to voicemail, you still had hope. there was still an hour left until the agreed meet-up time, still some time for him to answer.

you did a few small room chores to kill the time, only for your phone to not go off even once. there were still 20 minutes until 6pm, and you decided that this date wasn't going to happen.

now, you were sad and hungry. getting up, you looked through your fridge and cabinets only to find nothing.

about to give up all hope, your phone dinged from the counter. shooting up immediately, you grabbed your eagerly; only to feel slight disappointment when it was your friend sending you a recently opened food place, 'Onigiri Miya'.

something was pulling you towards the place (maybe your stomach); sending your friend a quick text back, you decided to stop by for dinner. putting on more comfortable clothes and deciding to head out, still no text from your boyfriend.

the place was located in a good area and it wasn't a far walk from your own home. you could see yourself coming here more often. the smell of freshly cooked meals could be smelled from outside the restaurant doors. the place was rather empty, considering it was a bit later in the evening.

you sat down at the counter, glancing over the menu. there was an older lady next to you, who had a big smile on her face as she enjoyed her food. the scene caused a small smile to grace your face. you looked around a little more, noticing everyone had a smile on their face as they enjoyed their food.

this place felt like home.

"welcome to onigiri miya. do ya need more time lookin' at the menu?"

a mans voice broke you out of your trance. looking up, you seen a broad male with dark hair in the, what you assumed, was the official uniform of the restaurant.

"hello," you give him a polite smile, "could i get a minced tuna and spring onion rice ball?" you watched the man’s eyes widen, before a small smile adorned his pretty face.

“gotcha, that’s what my brother orders,” he held a bit of fondness in his voice as he recalled his brother. you giggle slightly, “your brother must have good taste.”

“s’alright. my taste has always been better,” he said as he gave you a quick look over, making you sit up a bit straighter. “really? then what do you recommend?” you decided to play along a little, almost forgetting about the events from earlier.

"stop by tomorrow, we could talk about it more."

and when a number was jotted down on the receipt, you felt a new chapter unfolding in your life.

iwaizumi

iwaizumi stared at his client, whose phone was currently going off non-stop. usually, iwaizumi hated it when his clients were on their phones during his training sessions; but this was annoying at this point.

"can you answer that," iwaizumi didn't try to hide the irritation in his voice. his client, kenji, perked up from his sit-ups. "sorry about that, man." iwaizumi just nodded his head, waiting to get back to his training.

"it's my clingy ass girlfriend, she's scared i'm out cheating."

frankly, iwaizumi didn't care; he had another client coming in soon and he needed to get this guy out. "okay.. are you ready to continue?" with a rather embarrassed nod from kenji, they finally continued their workout; which consisted of a few more sets and then iwaizumi creating a dietary plan for kenji to follow.

once kenji was gone, iwaizumi finished up a few more clients for the day before he moved onto his own workout for the night. it was normal for him to stay late and the gym owner trusted him enough to close.

he was in the middle of his workout when he heard the front door open. sighing, he wiped his sweat off with a nearby towel and walked to the front. walking up, he saw a pretty girl who looked lost just as much pissed.

noticing the man coming out of the backroom with a confused look on his face, you decided to speak first.

"hey, sorry to interrupt but have you seen a male with brown hair, brown eyes, and about this tall?" iwaizumi watched as you held your hand a few inches above your own head. "oh and his name is kenji, if that helps?"

iwaizumi's eyes widened in realization; you must be the clingy girlfriend.

"we close in about half an hour, nobody's here but me." he answered truthfully as he watched your face fall. "oh, thank you for letting me know." iwaizumi watched as you were about to turn and leave, but oddly enough he wanted the conversation to continue.

"why does he have you out so late lookin' for him?" iwaizumi wasn't one to shy away from being protective; especially when it came to women and his loved ones.

you watched as he leaned over the reception desk, his biceps flexing as he did so. noticing you were staring, you snapped out of it. "we haven't spoken all day, and then i called him and he told me he was at the gym... thought i'd wait for him so we could go do something after."

haven't spoken all day? that was weird considering how much Kenji's phone was blowing up earlier from text messages from his "clingy girlfriend"/

"he's been gone for hours. i'm his personal trainer, iwaizumi." iwaizumi stuck his hand out which you shook immediately, "(name), nice to meet the man who's kept my boyfriend so busy these past few weeks."

"few weeks? today was his third day here." iwaizumi watched as the words registered into your mind. there was a twitch of your eyebrow, nails picking at the skin of your hands, and a quick bite of your lip.

it was a shitty situation; he felt bad that a pretty girl like you was getting played by a man that couldn't even bench press 22kg.

"if it makes you feel any better, he dropped a 3kg weight on his foot." iwaizumi tried his best to cheer you up, and it seemed to be working when a laugh fell from your lips.

"thank you for talking to me, sorry for taking up your time, iwaizumi. I should start to walk back before it gets too dark," you said noticing how late it was getting.

"let me close up and i'll walk you home, if that's okay with you?"

you looked shocked before a small smile took graced your face, "sure that'll be fine."

and as you waited for iwaizumi to close up the gym, you sent one last text to kenji; a breakup text.

it was against your moral conscience to do it over text, but he tested your limits. you weren't even sure if he'd see the text tonight, since he's out doing whatever, but your feelings still stood.

when you and iwaizumi started the walk back to your complex, it was full of natural conversations and laughter. the two of you hitting it off immediately and ended the night exchanging numbers.

when the next day arrived, kenji walked into the gym, iwaizumi made training incredibly challenging. he still did his job with integrity, but he added a few new workouts to kenji's routine, some of which even made the athletic trainer pause when he did them himself.

akaashi

you flopped around on your best friend's bed, burying your face in his pillows and letting out muffled complaints.

"he's so stupid, keiji! can you believe he ditched our date to go get drunk with his friends?!"

akaashi can actually believe it, but he doesn't think you'd want to hear that right now. "it is shocking, yes." the lie comes out smoothly, he knows how this'll go. you'll complain and shit talk your boyfriend, get immensely sad for a few minutes, and then fall asleep on his bed.

this always happens when another male does your heart incredibly wrong, and akaashi is always there to pick up the shattered pieces.

"it's not the first time this has happened either... we'll be going good, and then out of nowhere he just..."

akaashi heard the familiar cracking of your voice, which he hated to hear, and when he noticed you went completely quiet; he knew you were crying into his pillow.

he gently got up from his seat on his desk, taking a seat on the bed next to you. "(name), it has nothing to do with you, he's just a bottom-of-the-barrel kind of guy. you know this," akaashi picked your head up from his pillow and placed it into his lap.

"you need to stop letting below-average men sweep you off your feet," akaashi sighed. these men were lucky enough to have a chance with you. whereas he, who's known you for a long time, hasn't gotten the chance. akaashi is too careful, and he never wants to overstep any of his boundaries and make you uncomfortable.

you sniffle as akaashi wipes your tears and runs a soothing hand through your hair, which only makes you more sensitive. akaashi noticed as your frown deepened, causing his hand to stop his movements, an apology already on the tip of his tongue.

"sorry, (name) i-...."

"i go for these types of men because i don't know if i deserve better," you spoke truthfully, grabbing akaashi's hand and putting it back on your head.

"(name), you deserve the world. it's not good for you to self-sabotage like this." his hand continued its movements in your hair. this time, it's your turn to sigh.

"keiji, you're too nice to me... i don't deserve someone like you." akaashi is stunned into silence, his hand movements halting. this was new.

you use his silence to continue, "you're so nice to me. i can't find better because better doesn't exist when you're near me. i don't know what i did to deserve your kindness."

akaashi breaks out of the trance he's in a furrow in his brow at your belittling words. "(name), you have made me discover parts of myself i didn't even know existed. (name) you make me happy."

he sees as your eyes start to water once again, "but i don't deserve you. every time i start to date someone new, my brain always compares him to you." akaashi's heart starts to speed up. "i'm the one that doesn't deserve you," he starts, "you stay by my side when i'm stressed from deadlines, you know how to tell when i need to get out of my room. (name), you know me better than almost anyone."

it was a sweet moment shared between you and him; two people who have been silently pinning for each other for so long.

he sees an opportunity right now and he'd be a fool not to take it.

"(name), you don't need these terrible men when you have me," his words become more confident as he speaks, "i promise i can be enough for you, my feelings towards you are genuine. never would i even think about treating you as poorly as these other men."

your eyes widened as you looked up at his face, a pretty red hue blossoming over his face. "you.. do you actually like like me?"

akaashi chuckled at your words, "yes, (name) i like like you," he repeated your words back at you.

"good, because i like like you too."

both you and akaashi let a comfortable silence take over the two of you. a mutual feeling of love waiting to be explored lingers in the air.

this was fun to write! if you enjoyed it pls consider reblogging or following :)

[luxesiren]

⸻ 𝐀𝐖𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃; a.arlert x black reader

(ও) synopsis; why were you going back to him again and again? maybe it was because you loved him but it was clear he didn’t love you

(ও) warnings; black fem!reader, uses she/her pronouns, thick/chubby reader, slight angst, friends with benefits relationship, one-sided feelings, emotionally-closed off!armin (but like not really?) , toxic!armin, smut warnings; fingering, dirty talk, riding, car sex, public sex, handjob, rough sex, unsafe sex

(ও) author’s note; hey! i’m back with another armin fic, this one is kinda angsty though but y’know armin brainrot🤭 also lyrics are in bold & italics

wc; 2.7k

the thing is you were in love with one armin arlert. you were and you couldn’t deny it anymore and with that, you suddenly knew how you got here, in the back of his car being fucked even though he didn’t love you back.

you and armin were in college but you’ve known each other for a long time and over that time you caught yourself being infatuated with him but then the infatuation turned into a crush and then that crush turned into love and fuck, if that wasn’t a bad idea.

see, armin for as long as you’ve known him — he’s always been emotionally closed off, he never really smiled and you couldn’t tell if he was happy or sad or even angry. he was just kinda void? void of all emotions and feelings so you wondered why you were in love with him.

all that wander went away when he showed just a tiny bit of emotion with you whether it was when you watched his favorite anime and you asked him questions and you could see the glimmer in his eyes and a small smile or when he got your favorite snacks and you said thank you and hugged him tightly.

everything changed so quickly. one night you went over to his house in tears and clinging onto his shirt as he stood there awkwardly and rubbed your back. as you both sat on his bed, you told him that your boyfriend at the time cheated on you and to your surprise he was seething.

that was the first time you’d seen armin angry. you were used to his stoic expressions and cold demeanor but this was different. he wanted to go after that man and hurt him but you quickly jumped up and stopped him because you didn’t want armin out there getting himself into trouble.

your fingers curled in his shirt as you stood in front of his bedroom door, blocking him from going out. you felt his hands grip your waist and pull you close to him — the surprise on your face was evident as he lifted your chin with his finger and kissed you senselessly.

you sighed into the kiss, your thighs clenched together hoping to stop your leaking pussy but to no avail and it wouldn’t have mattered anyways because his hands found their way to your soaked panties and started to play with your drenched pussy.

you didn’t think the whole thing through.

you didn’t think about it when he licked up every single drop of wetness that seeped from your pussy, you didn’t think about it when you were mouthing over his dick through his boxers before he got tired and put it in your mouth and fucked your throat. you definitely didn’t think about it when your thighs were over his shoulders and you were screaming his name. no, not at all.

you thought about it all when you left in the morning with hickies littering your neck and a limp to match your mood. you thought about the whole night when you left him laying in his bed still asleep without saying bye.

you wanted to know what the hype was all about

so i came by

then we fucked a little bit and i was out

did not say bye

all of it had been in your mind for days on end. it was worth it but should you do it again?

~~~~

it happened again.

this time you knew why. maybe you did it on purpose to gain his attention but it worked, it worked all too well. after the first time, armin called you countless times to talk about how you left things but you couldn’t talk about it yet, you couldn’t talk about how he fucked you better than any of your boyfriends, not yet.

and yet, here you were, dancing on some random guy at a frat party to gain armin’s attention — you didn’t even know what you were doing but you knew you wanted him so badly. the guy you were dancing with wasn’t even aware that you were using him, no, he didn’t know but it didn’t matter.

what mattered was the piercing gaze of blue eyes that watched your every moment, the calculating gaze not moving away from your body and how it moved. his eyes searching every part of you from your tits that sat prettily in that tank crop you wore to the mini skirt that looked like a belt and down to your thick thighs that he wanted to feel around his head again.

before you knew it, the man you were dancing with was on the ground and armin was dragging you upstairs to the nearest bedroom in the house. “you thought i wouldn’t know that you’re trying to get my attention? acting like a slut in front of everyone just for me.” he spat out once he closed the door and locked it.

you just crossed your arms with a small pout, “who said i was doing it for you?” you lied and he could tell.

“you left me alone in my bed after our night together and you just thought i would forget, that i would let you go? fuck, no. you’re mine.”

the shiver that went through your body should’ve been illegal but hearing him say that was the highlight of your night, “yours? who said that?”

he chuckled, “i did.”

then his lips crashed into yours and you immediately grabbed onto his shoulders and kissed him back. his tongue sliding into your mouth next to yours made every intrusive thought go away and again, you weren’t thinking about the consequences.

not when his dick was sliding in and out of your pussy so deliciously dragging against your walls and making your toes curl, “armin, mmph!! yes, right there!”

his hips snapped against yours and you just laid there and took it all, took every rough snap of his hips, took every slap to your cheeks and you screamed his name so everyone in that house knew just how good his dick was.

this is more than a friendship

now i made it awkward

why did you let me do it?

i made it, i make awkward

~~~~

there was another time but that time you wanted to end it because your feelings started to get involved and you’re relationship was nothing more than two friends who occasionally fuck each other and it was hurting you.

but armin didn’t care. no, not even a little bit.

you watched as some girl you’ve never met before went up to armin and started to flirt with him and he was flirting back with her, with no regard for you and your feelings about it.

he still took you back to his place and you guys still fucked as usual but you felt off, you were jealous. jealous of that girl who spent the whole flirting with armin and armin who let her instead of pushing her away and saying that he was already in a relationship— but that wasn’t what this was.

you felt him cum inside you and as he caught his breath and pulled out, you contemplated asking him about the girl but would he even tell you? usually, he had a way of making you forget your worries, and usually, they didn’t trouble you like this.

“min?”

he hummed in response, his eyes closed and his arm around your waist.

“who was that girl? the one you were talking to on campus?” your heart beating so fast against your rib cage and it wasn’t because of the sex.

he quirked an eyebrow, “who? annie?”

“i guess. the blonde one?”

“yeah, annie. what about her?” armin asked, confused by the random question.

how would you ask without sounding jealous? or without trying to be possessive of your fuck buddy? “are you guys together?”

his eyes snapped to yours and he looked surprised that you asked that but he also looked guilty. you could slowly feel your heart start to break and for what? you guys weren’t together, this whole thing was just occasional, you didn’t even fuck every day but you were with each other every day and he made you feel special like no one else did.

fuck, you really did love him.

“no, we aren't but we fucked before. if that’s what you mean,” he said it so casually like it didn’t mean anything but it meant something to you because while you were waiting on him, he was with her and that was a huge slap to the face.

that alone spiraled into something more. you argued, there were tears involved on your end and a bunch of yelling on armin’s end.

“you were fucking her this whole time? were you just playing with me?” you were angry.

“why does it matter? i’m with you! i’m with you right now and i’ll be with you tomorrow.”

“fuck you, armin.” you never meant to say that but it came out.

that night you left him, just like the first time. armin yelled after you, he wanted you to come back and it was hard to just keep walking as you heard him call your name in the dead of night.

that was three months ago.

i cannot love everybody, but you isn’t anybody

you look at me different, so i let you see my body

(body, body, body)

now we don’t speak at all

~~~~

you couldn’t deny that you missed armin and it was fucked up how things conspired but you thought it was for the best.

it was for the best…

it was for the best, right?

if it was for the best then why were you closing the door to armin’s car that was parked across the street from your house? why were you nervous to see him after three months of ignoring him?

what were you doing?

you sat in the passenger seat waiting for a pin to drop, it felt like forever before one of you said something, “why’d you call me?” you asked, hoping you’d like the answer.

“i missed you.”

you scoffed, “no you didn’t, i’ve seen you with annie. you didn’t miss me.”

he chuckled, “you been watching me? i’m flattered.”

you rolled your eyes and looked away, “she know you here with me?”

he shook his head, “nah she doesn’t know and she doesn’t have to know either.”

you laughed bitterly, “fuck you mean? armin, you hurt me. you can’t just keep coming back and neither can i because i can’t do this.”

you moved to get out of the car but armin’s hands were on your face and pulling you into a kiss, you wanted to pull away and leave but your mind just shouted at you to stay.

fuck, you missed him.

you loved him.

his blue eyes becoming black from the arousal bubbling within him as he pulled back to look at you, you were drawn in again, just like before. you couldn’t take it anymore and you just had to get it out of your system, “we can’t keep doing this, you’re not mine and you can’t keep telling me that i’m yours when all you wanna do is fuck me.”

he didn’t listen and neither did you. he was back to kissing you deeply, his tongue tangling with yours and you quietly moaned into the kiss. your hands landing on his thighs and caressing them softly through his jeans, his hands cradling your face and pulling you impossibly closer.

your hands fumbled with his zipper as you tried to quickly unbutton them, you were starting to grow desperate and you just needed him right then, his hip lifting on their own accord so you could pull down his pants and start to touch him. you didn’t realize how much you missed touching him until you were touching him again.

your hands continued to pull at his boxers while your lips stayed locked with each other, you pulled away as your hand wrapped around his hardening dick — his tip leaking precum and it looked so beautiful.

armin pushed his hair back and groaned softly, his dick twitching in your hand, more precum oozing from his tip and down his shaft making the glide so much smoother. his lips met yours again and you both moaned into the kiss, teeth clacking together as armin kept moaning and groaning while your hand moved up and down.

your fist tight around him and jerking him fully, hoping to make him cum, he pulled your hand off and kissed your neck, sucking softly before pulling away, “wanna cum inside you.”

you moaned loudly, your pussy pulsing and clit twitching at the thought of armin cumming inside you. you hadn’t felt him in months and you wanted to relish in the feeling of him sliding in and out of you.

the craziest thing about this whole thing was the toxicity and the absurdity of the situation but you couldn’t care, no thoughts resided in your head as you both moved to the backseat and you threw your shorts and panties off to the side and his fingers slid inside you.

you missed the feel of his fingers dragging against your walls and his thumb circling your clit. his index and middle curling inside you just right and making you see stars, “baby, i missed this. i missed you.”

you mewled out and gripped his shoulders, bringing him into a kiss — you didn’t wanna hear his lies anymore. you couldn’t bear it anymore, not the lying, not the empty promises. maybe you could take a page out of his book and close yourself off so you couldn’t get hurt by how much he didn’t love you.

your legs were shaking as his thrusts became faster, and the sounds in the car were too mortifying to focus on but you felt how good he was making you feel. his lips landed on your stomach and kissed all over your body while his fingers proceeded to take you apart.

he added a third finger and pushed all of them inside you, going in and out and making you scream in the car, “min, fuck, min, please..”

he loved when you begged him, he always did. he didn’t waste any time pulling his fingers out of you and pulling you into his lap. you hovered over his dick and you grabbed ahold of him and started to sink down, you both groaned in unison as you sunk down your pussy automatically sucking him in as if he was finally home.

your hands gripped his shoulders as you began to bounce on his dick, slowly going up before slamming back down and repeating the process — his hands gripping your hips and guiding you, the whole thing was dizzying.

“armin, fuck, i missed you so much.”

he nodded as his breath got heavy and his hips moved to meet yours, you two moved perfectly and were always in sync with each other like your bodies fit together and were meant for each other but sadly, it wasn’t meant to be.

his dick dragging against your velvety walls and his thumb pressing down on your clit gently, practically begging you to cum. your legs were starting to get tired from bouncing on him but the pleasure was too good to give up on and you wanted it to last forever.

you threw your head back and moaned loudly, the pleasure becoming too much and your arousal already clouded your judgment and you were ready to cum, you were seeing stars and it was the best feeling in the world.

glimpses of your entire relationship flooding your vision as you started to cum on his still-pistoning cock, it was so fucking good and you didn’t feel any guilt for annie because you didn’t care, “mmph!! i’m cumming, fuck!!”

your legs shaking and finally cumming, armin watched as you fell apart in his arms. maybe this time he realized just how much he really loved you, just how much you sacrificed for him, and fuck, he was selfish for wanting to keep you with him.

he finally realized that he loved you but he would never tell you.

now i regret it all

still, it was worth it

i would do it again

i know you hurt me, but

it is just deeper than friendship…

© 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐡𝟒𝐥𝐥 | do not steal, repost, or copy to another website such as wattpad and ao3, reblogs and comments are appreciated!

🏷; @venusflytrapstar @phorxic @takemichiluvr @blkcupid @arlertwitch

[miyuuuki]

Kinda Crazy…

SYNOPSIS: Dating vic was a roller coaster, more-so considering his violent and cunning nature.

PAIRING: Victor Criss/Masc!Reader

WARNINGS: slut shaming, body shaming, misogyny, slightly toxic relationship.

A/N: quite different from usual content, but I still very much love IT. This is kind of loosely based off of Selena Gomez’s Kinda Crazy song. Really trash but hope y’all enjoy loll.

———

You and Vic were a fling, a couple who lasted first semester and barely making it to second.

you did love him, but truly, you couldn’t handle his violence and his behavior.

Even though vic was the “least toughest” or “nicest” member out of all the bowers gang, he was still cruel.

He posed as though he had strong morals, but you knew it all to be untrue.

You’ve noticed how everyone you were once so close to distanced themselves from you, and how anyone who looked at you wrong, always seemed to be hurt.

You’ve even witnessed the countless acts hes done. Burning kids with cigars, jumping people who either wronged you in the past or touched you.

Being misogynistic out of the blue, screaming insults at the losers, especially to both Beverly and Richie.

Calling Beverly, insults such as “skank”, “slut”, “whore”, and many more.

Beating or humiliating Richie, with insults.

You felt as if you couldn’t even touch, speak, or even look at someone without them getting hurt. And you were tired of it, because no matter how much you tried communicating with him, he’d repeat the same empty promise.

“I promise I’ll change, I’ll try.”

So eventually you were fed up and ghosted him, and not too long, broke off the relationship.

By now you still have lingering feelings for him, though barely. At least that’s what you think.

Though you couldn’t say the same for Vic. He’d been calling your phone line, harassing you at school and so on.

And the fact your houses were opposite of each-other, didn’t help at all either.

He could see through your window, and easily visit your house. Though he hadn’t done that, yet.

Right now you were in your bedroom, doing a school project with a classmate.

And it also so happened to be Greta. A girl who slept around, especially with that Patrick guy. It’s rumored they first slept together in 5th or 6th grade.

Greta, was a bitch. No sugarcoating, right now she was barely doing anything. All she had tried to do was you.

“Greta, just go home. I’ll finish the project.”

“If you say so.” She says with a wink before leaving.

You sighed before continuing, you were disturbed by a phone call, once you answered a familiar voice appeared.

“Why did I see Greta fucking Keene coming out of your house?” You heard Vic’s voice.

“What’s it to you?” You said with a annoyed tone.

“Did you do something with that fucking whore!? If so, (name), I’ll fucking kill her! Do you hear me!?” He screamed into the microphone.

“Fucking shit, vic. Do you hear yourself!? You sound like Henry! Fuck off already, it’s been months. Move. On.” You said anger evident in your tone.

irritated, you pulled out the plug of your landline as that wasn’t the only call you received that day.

Though you failed to see Vic watching you through his window.

“Vic? The fuck are you doing here?” Greta said, angered that she was interrupted from harassing beverly.

“What did you and (name) do the other day at his house?” He asked with a shallow tone.

“What’s it to you?” She said.

“What did you do, Greta.” He demanded.

“Why the fuck do you need to know? Don’t tell me you’re still not over him. It’d be pathetic if it’s true.” Greta said laughing.

“Did your whore ass sleep with him!? if so I can gut you like a fucking fish right now.” Reaching into his pocket to hold the switchblade he stole from Henry, though not yet showing it.

“If I said yes?” Greta said with a laugh.

“I’ll make you regret even looking in his direction.” Vic said, grabbing Greta’s hair with a tight grip while grabbing the switch blade.

“Hey!! L-let me go! What the fuck are you trying to do!!?” She screamed.

“Teaching you a fucking lesson, goddamn whore.” Vic responded.

Here you were, in history class watching everyone present, one thing you noticed was Greta not being fucking present.

‘Where the fuck is this bitch, I didn’t fucking write shit for her to read off of just so she can be fucking absent.’ you bitched in your head.

You rose your hand, and asked to go to the bathroom. The teacher agreed so you went out.

“Is she skipping..?” you mumbled wondering.

she said she’d be here today, now where the fuck is she.

You went into the bathroom and was about to go in a stall before someone grabbed the jacket you were wearing and slammed you into the wall.

“What the fuck-! Vic!? You’ve got to be kidding me..” You said, already annoyed.

“Tell me. What did you and Greta do!?” He said.

“Why the fuck do you need to know, leave it alone Vic.” You responded.

“Fine then. You made it easier for me.” Vic said before walking out.

“Easier, how!? Vic!” You said confused.

You thought wondering what he could mean by that.

‘Holy shit.’ You thought before running out after him.

———

TAGLIST:

@akiraackerman19 @lizzhearthz @call-me-nev

[idiswhadidis]

my beloved girlfriend

| pairing jungwon x female reader

| genre angst, toxic relationship

| warning possessiveness, manipulation, mention of alcohol, cursing (idk if there‘s more?)

you don‘t know how many shots of vodka you had, but it was definitely enough to make you drunk.you had an awful week, college was a pain in the ass, you broke up with your boyfriend again… and your car also decided to go against you when it suddenly stopped in the middle of the high way, so here you are, drinking your sorrows away.

„one more please“ moving your glass to the bartender, he looks kinda worried for you „are you sure this is your seventh- „just pour it in already“ looking at him annoyed, he looks at you and sighs „hey, what was that sigh for? i just want another shot why are you so rude, can a girl not enjoy herself?“ you ask irritated.without a word he pours you another shot and mumbles under his breath while walking away „i should quit“, „yes, you should asshole“ you say as you drink the shot without cringing.

you were busy being fascinated spinning a bar chair until you suddenly hear a voice next to you „what are you doing?“ someone says while chuckling, turning around still spinning the chair, you see a handsome man around the same age as yourself „huh?“ you look at him confused.

„i said what are you doing“ pointing at the chair, „uhm being fascinated?“ you say cackling „by a chair?“, „yes… do you think it could fly if i would spin it faster?“ you ask the stranger with excitement. „i mean everything is possible“ he answers and that was your motivation to spin the chair faster, but to no surprise it didn’t fly „hey! didn’t you say everything is possible?“ you say disappointed and sad, the vodka shots kicking in „well.. you could spin it even faster“, you turn to the chair once again ready to sacrifice your life to make it fly that was until you heard him laugh, looking at him with narrowed eyes „you‘re making fun of me aren‘t you?“ „no what? i would never“ he tries to hide his smile, slapping him on the the arm „you are“ looking at him with a smile.

„i‘m Heeseung“ he says smiling „hi Heeseung“, „and your name is?“ he asks, „oh right well i‘m Y/n“ „hi Y/n“ now laughing at each other. you two started to actually have a nice conversation until he had to ask the one billion dollar question.

„i‘m sorry but i just have to ask, do you perhaps got a boyfriend?“, your mood instantly sinking, the boy noticing it, „oh i‘m sorry i didn‘t mean to-“,„nah don’t be, it‘s just a fresh wound we just broke up a few days ago again.“

„again?“ he asks curiously, you’re starting to feel a little bit more sober and decide to tell him the story „well, we were together for almost one year but some things started to get more.. you know more complicated, we fought more because of some things so after a month of just fighting, we decided to break up. but surprise surprise it didn‘t last long we were back together after a few weeks and it lastet for about 4 months but then..“

you think about it if it would be a smart idea to tell him the whole truth, „…well it happened like before, we fought about the tiniest things and i totally had enough and broke up with him, left the apartment and didn’t come back since then.. that was actually just 4 days ago, damn.. time flies for sure fast.“

„i‘m sorry to hear that i wish he would treat you better though, i don‘t really know you but you seem like a really nice person“ he says sincerely „but wait when you said you left the apartment and didn‘t come back since then, you‘re not homeless right?“ asking worried „first of all thank you i can say the same to you, and second i‘m sleeping at my best friends house everythings good don‘t worry“ you say taking his hand as a friendly manner.

*ding* you both get startled by your phone, „well what a coincidence the so called best friend just texted asking where i am and if i could come back from wherever i am“ being confused, normally she would just ask where you are but she never asked you if you could come straight up home, maybe something happened?

„at the regular bar, is something wrong?“

„no no, just wanted to ask if you would eat a late night snack with me i‘m bored and i need company. i would come and get you #missidonthaveacar :3“

„i hope you choke on your saliva“ you sent her your location.

„love you too and see ya soon;)“

laughing and shaking your head, you actually forgot about Heeseung, „well, i gotta go my friend is gonna come and get me“ you say and smile at him „oh okay sure but uhm is it okay for me to ask for your number so if something ever comes up and you suddenly need a men advice-“ you laugh „can i have your number would have been enough you know“ , „well i take that as a yes“, he hands you over his phone. typing in your name and number, handing it back he chuckles „chair spinner girl😎?“, you grinned „i think it‘s funny“ you both chuckling.

you two went out of the bar waiting for your friend, Heeseung decided to wait with you.

„no way, and you really tried to put your whole fist in your-“, you couldn‘t finish your sentence when a pretty familar car halts a few feet away from you, a frown now on your face your teeth clenching, planing a murder on your mind on ''how to kill your best friend without leaving any traces''.

„is that your bestfri-?“ you quickly said yes and bid your goodbye to him. walking faster to the so called familiar car who only belongs to no one other then your significant ex boyfriend Yang Jungwon.

„the fuck are you doing here?“ you say irritated when you opened the passenger door seeing his handsome face, looking at you „get in y/n“ he says calm but serious. you sigh closing your eyes, getting in and closing the door he instantly started driving away.

„who was he?“ he asks, „why do you care?“ „why i care?“ he glances at you „fuck y/n, you broke up with me and left our apartment since then, i had to ask Vivien about your whereabouts cause you ignored me the whole time and when i find you, you‘re having the time of your life with some dude?“

„i don‘t see the problem here, we broke up-“„you broke up“ he interrupts, looking at him „you didn‘t gave me any other choice..“ mumbling and looking out of the window noticing you were about to reach your apartment. once he stopped the car you went out and walked to it, Jungwon following closely.

as soon you were in, you went to the kitchen getting some glass of water preparing yourself to whats about to come, Jungwon walking in „now, who was he?“ looking at you with dark eyes „god, we just met in the bar and got to know each other, nothing more okay?“

„i don‘t believe you“ rolling your eyes having enough „believe what ever you want, i‘m done“ walking away from him he grabs you by your wrist trapping you between him and the kitchen counter putting his hands on each side of your body, making you nervous.

„i know that we‘re not together anymore.. but it doesn‘t change the fact that i don‘t like seeing you with other guys“ he says lowly looking straight into your eyes „you‘ll be always my girl no matter what“ he confesses, making you blush „i love you too much to let you go, you know that right?“ he exclaims seriously, getting closer to your face.

you are doomed you can’t fucking resist him, he does this everytime.now that you think about it you didn‘t tell Heeseung the truth about why you broke up with Jungwon.

when it comes to you, Jungwon gets possessive in a not good way, he threatens pretty much everything, you once had a project in college with a dude from one of your classes, when Jungwon got wind from it he made the teacher change your partner to a girl, you don‘t know how he did it because you weren’t actually allowed to change partners so you asked him, but he simply answered with a chuckle „just a little black mailing here and there“.

that wasn‘t the only time something weird happened, few months ago you planned to meet a friend of yours but out of nowhere he ditched you and didn‘t contact you since then. you started to realise what was going on so you confronted Jungwon about it and he admitted it that he did a few things here and there, so you decided to break up. Jungwon being Jungwon changed his personality like a light switch the moment you two broke up, he made you realise what you‘re missing out, manipulating you… so the blind desperate you, ran back to him just like he expected..

but after being 4 months together things started to get weird again but before it could escalate you broke up and left the apartment, well but here you are once again being trapped.

Jungwon caresses your left cheek „you didn‘t really want to break up right?“ he stared at you lovingly „you left me alone.. all alone, do you know how sad and mad i got? i thought you had enough of me and left me for your own happiness.. not even thinking about how i could feel right? you don‘t care about me at all..“

you couldn’t look away from his eyes they are too mesmerizing, it‘s like he has you under a spell „you still love me right?“ asking you serious, you nod now nuzzling your cheek into his hand making him smirk a little, „you won‘t leave me again here alone right? you wouldn’t do that to me again?“ asking you with a sadness and his bambi eyes staring at you, completely manipulating you…

you hug him, your face on his chest „no.. no.. i won‘t i‘m sorry i‘m sorry, i will never do it ever again please don‘t be mad at me, i‘m sorry i made you sad“ you said completely throwing your sanity away. „i love you, please believe me“ looking at him desperately.

Jungwon has you exactly where he wanted.. in his arms, vulnerable and under his control. his beloved girlfriend.

cupping your cheeks, pecking your lips „i believe you princess“ he hugs you, his lips next your ear „my princess“ he whispers with venom in his voice.

[nerdieforpedro]

This baggage is heavy, can we drop it off somewhere?

Chapter two of "Do we know how to love?"

Frankie Morales x Nadia Thomas (plus size OFC)

Fanfiction 18+ MDNI

Masterlist

Summary: Nadia makes an impulsive but ultimately good decision. We found out a lot more about Frankie’s past. Nadia also decides to just let go.

Warnings: cursing, toxic relationships, angst, thoughts about sex, lengthy mentions of drugs and drug use, Addiction, pregnancy, death, mental health issues, medical issues during pregnancy, 12 step program

Notes: I kinda meant for it to be more lighthearted than it turned out.

Sitting in her driveway, Nadia studied the sticky note. She thought about throwing it away, she should not have this, shouldn’t have even taken it, but she did. Nadia had been swept away in the magnetism of meeting a man like Francisco Morales. Him speaking to her and enticing her with a few sentences was something that Eddie had never been capable of remotely doing, even when they first met years ago. Nadia felt she should just sent a text and break up with Eddie, but it still felt wrong, she preferred to be upfront with him, but it didn’t work well the first time.

“I’m in a relationship I can’t stand. What’s the harm? I’m meeting a new friend. A sexy new friend.” Nadia grinned to herself and got out of the car and went into her house, putting down her purse and hopped in the shower. She texted Kim and Katie and told them that she wasn’t coming she was tired. They texted back playfully mocking her for being a homebody, but hoped that she felt better and that they may stop by this weekend. Nadia told them that she’s working on something, and that she would tell them about it later. The nurse did add the number of her contacts under the name ‘Chocolate curls.’

“Hey hermana, thanks for coming by. I’m have a meeting tonight.” Frankie stated flatly. It was required for him to keep working as a pilot. He may not have to go as often as he once did, but he had to make sure he went and call his manager. Frankie was a hell of a pilot, he could fly a plane, helicopter, jet, anything if you let him tell it, he could also fly a blimp and hot air balloon. The woman was his best friend’s wife, Yovanna, she watched his daughter during his meetings.

The meetings were with cocaine anonymous, a program he entered the year his daughter was born. His wife at the time, Maria had put up a lot from him, with his drug use, being away for long periods of time due to work and a difficult pregnancy to boot. She had been stable on her lithium for years along with lexapro. He remembered the doctors testing her heart to make sure it was okay periodically and it was but when she became pregnant things changed. 

The OBGYN reviewed her medications and said she couldn’t take the lithium anymore, only the lexapro. Maria’s mood swings worsened and she started having high blood pressure during her second trimester. Frankie missed more of her appointments and they fought more which let to him doing more cocaine and picking up more hours while high. It was his own fault he knew, he should have talked to her more and supported her. He did not, one week before his daughter’s birth, he was fired for flying under the influence and nearly crashing a helicopter with some big wigs on it. The very least he could do was provide for Maria financially, but he couldn’t even do that. Maria had been complaining of contractions but her water hadn’t broken yet, Frankie did offer to go to the doctor with her but she didn’t want to, she had her birth plan with a planned home birth, doula and candles that he didn’t understand. 

The pilot had told his wife that he was off to work when really, he was going to snort his cocaine in an industrial parking lot, away from everyone. He received several calls, but drowned them out with the swimming high, riding the waves as he closed his eyes. By the time he was coherent enough to check his phone, there were two missed calls from his wife, two from her doula and five from the hospital. Maria passed out during the home birth after her water broke and her doula had called 911 and tried to get a hold of Frankie as well. When 911 came, it was the doula who went to the hospital with Maria. The medical staff tried contacting Frankie as well but he didn’t answer. They treated her as best they could while Maria went in and out of consciousness, she kept stating that she wanted her baby to be safe and asked if her husband was here. The staff told her that they would do their best and that he was on the way, though no one had actually spoken with him. Maria was having seizures associated with eclampsia, the baby was delivered safely, but the medical staff were having difficulty getting Maria stable post birth, they were able to slow her seizures, but her blood pressure kept increasing and making her bleed more than expected and they weren’t able to keep up with her body’s demands. When Frankie finally arrived he greeted his daughter Camilla and the body of his wife Maria.

Francisco Morales cried for the first time since finding out he was going to be a father. He mourned his wife Maria and their marriage and that he had failed not only as a husband but a father for not being there for his daughter’s birth and caring for her mother properly.

It was then that he asked for some of the biggest favors in his life and relied on his old Special Forces buddies. He needed to get clean ASAP but doing too quickly would do more harm than good. He asked his best friend Santiago and his wife Yvonne to care for Camilla while he went into inpatient rehab, meanwhile Will and Ben (who was never in Speical forces but tagged along to see what he could do, not much except some babysitting) working on talking some old commanding officers to have Frankie become a pilot again with strict requirements.

Complete inpatient rehab

Drug testing weekly

Go through a re-fresher course for non-commercial pilots

Attend meetings at least three times a week, calling his CO (commanding officer/manager) so the call could be traced to a cell tower near where the meeting was supposed to take place.

Give address of meeting for further location confirmation.

After six months of negative weekly drug testing, while switch to monthly hair testing for one year and then either testing can be done if drug use is suspected.

Morales adhiered to the rules placed on them and welcomed them, after getting the house ready and baby proofed and working out day care, he was able to care for Camilla and himself within the year while working. Now that she was six, he focused on childcare during summers but had turned things around, though he still had to deal with people mentioning his past drug use, thankfully they seemed to have enough tact outside of Ms. Shirley not to mention it mostly.

On his way to tonight’s meeting he reflected on things as he usually did, not quite feeling the urges he once had for the drug, instead it was placed elsewhere in caring for his daughter and sex. Frankie did not have an issue in that arena, more like he wanted something in addition to the sex and he hadn’t really found a woman that he could go on more that three dates with, they were all boring, some of them married. None of it was for him.

The school nurse he met today was interesting though, he was used to dealing with more confidant women, that matched his ‘let’s get it’ energy no matter if his daughter was present or not because when the feeling strikes you it’s best to say something coded so little ears don’t catch on. He did appreciate that she didn’t seem to be swayed by what he was sure Ms. Shirley had already told her, that old prune took the opportunity to badmouth him whenever she got the chance. Frankie suspected is may have to do with him not eating her dry cake that she was offering everyone. Most of the parents took a pity piece, but Ms. Shirley’s face became real twisted when he asked if she had any milk or water to go with the cake. The pilot was up for the challenge of getting the nurse, Miss Nadia, to be more honest about what she wanted with all those breathy sighs. Had his daughter not been there, he may have tried to sweet talk her onto that desk and fuck her in just that lab coat.

Taking a few deep breaths himself, Frankie steeled himself for this week’s meeting, he wouldn’t have much to say per usual. He didn’t want much to say, he preferred boring everywhere except the bedroom. He hopped out of his truck and locked it, double checking he had his keys wallet and phone. He was about to turn it off when he saw a text notification:

Hi, it’s Nadia from the school nurse’s office. I just wanted to reach out and see when we could meet up this week. My evenings and weekend are open.

Frankie chuckled, it’s pretty business like how she was at the office. He made sure not to open the notification because he didn’t want to leave her on read. He would definently have the bare minimum to say, he needs to check his schedule after this meeting. It was rare that he ever went to these meetings with a smile on his face, but tonight he did.

Elsewhere…

Nadia sat on the couch sipping her moscatio out of a 16 oz Sailor Moon tumbler with a straw. She had texted Frankie and was nervously awaiting a reply or maybe she wouldn’t get one, she wasn’t super worried about it, because she had refilled the tumbler once already. Instead, she was more concerned about the text she would send to Eddie. The wine emboldening her, she felt she could just send him a text, telling him not to come by her house any more because they were over and he can go with some basic woman elsewhere. It sounded simple, it was not want she texted Eddie. 

Nadia sent him the following text message:

Eddie, I haven’t heard from you for three days even after I tried calling you with the time difference and texting you. You’re over there doing monkey business and you can keep doing it. I don’t want to see you ever again. Everything is on your terms and I hate it. I wasted more of my life because you sucked my nipple a few times. Fuck you, or better yet, have someone else fuck you so they too can be disappointed in not being satisfied any of the times, like not even close to where I can finish the rest. Just bad. Horrible. You should watch some porn and get some pointers. Ugh.

The nurse finished her tumbler and stood up triumphantly, but then held onto her couch because she had stood up too fast. She then decided, drinking water would be best and to take some Tylenol before bed. “I gotta change the locks, I think I was dumb enough to make him a key.”

Nadia called first thing in the morning and paid a bit extra to get a locksmith in that morning. There was still a wide time window, but she would be able to be at work by noon. So far Eddie hadn’t called or responded, she was nervous, but also glad because she didn’t want to talk to him. After having the locks changed and having two spare keys in addition to the main one made, the school nurse headed on into work. Once she arrived, she got settled in her office and started reviewing her emails. Her phone pinged and a text came from Frankie exactly at 12pm:

Hey sexy nurse. This weekend sounds perfect, I know a good Italian resturant we can go to, you alright with me picking you up around 7 on Friday? I’m looking forward to finidng out what else you like besides chocolate.

Nadia could feel the smirk he likely wrote that last line with. She just read it a few times while she sat at her desk, imagining him looking down at her again. Running his hand up her arm, pulling her forward onto the desk, spreading her legs and…

“Nadia honey! Have you seen the stapler? I bet that wispy looking guidance couseler took it again and didn’t bring it back. If he can wear such big sweaters, why can’t he get his own stapler, I’m sure that sweater was more than a stapler.” Miss Shirley’s noise brought Nadia back from her daydream. She cleared her throat and realized she was hovering over her chair, leaning her body forward.

“Are those some new chair exericses? Are those any good? You look flushed dear, Maybe you should take a break from those, you just got in.” The older woman remarked before leaving her door, presumly to track down the rouge counsuler for the stapler.The nurse plopped back in her chair and closed her eyes, trying to calm down, inhaling and exhaling deeply. She then giggled becuase she remembered when Frankie had commented on her breath control. 

“I’m losing it…over a man I met once. Will I even make it through a date with him? At this rate, I should drive, becuase that’s they only way i won’t jump into his car.” She muttered to herself. Then in dawned on her, why should she? If she wants to fuck him in the car and he’s fine with it, why not? Hell, maybe they won’t make it to dinner. Nadia crossed her arms and spun around in her chair. She’s just getting out of a relationship, it doesn’t need to be serious, right? Could she do that? Be un-attached?

“I just must be firm. I can do it…I think.” Nadia finally replied to Frankie.

Good afternoon handsome. Seven sounds perfect and I love Italian. You can pick me up, I feel like being pampered a bit.

Nadia sent it and put her head on her desk. She did feel like being pampered at least one night and if she had a one-night stand, it would be icing on the cake. She just had to mentally prepare for the cake.

[sanzu-sanzu-sanzu]

songs about toxic people 7*

Sanzu Haruchiyo X Reader

Summary: In which you are Bonten’s No. 2 and Sanzu is No. 3. Almost ten years of being stuck working together means you’re both bound to pick up on each other’s idiosyncrasies, yeah?

—

*IMPORTANT NOTE: this is more like an interlude/bonus chapter actually centering more on misc bonten x reader Gen! interactions. it still ties in with the whole story, it’s just there’s less to zero sanzu in this one cus the focus will be more on the other bonten haha, so if you’re here exclusively for sanzu x reader, you may skip this if you like! 😬  

it’s just i got these headcanons that idk what to do with and also they are somewhat short 😭

—

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6

chapter 7: We may not be a perfect family but we love each other (until we don’t) - koko

.

.

Koko thinks of cats when he thinks of you; partly from the circumstances of your first meeting, partly ‘cause of the way you sort of simply glide in and out of rooms quietly with the stealth and fluidity of one.

(Although Sanzu had insisted he thought more of ghosts and wraiths, a comment which Koko only made light of even though he wasn’t wrong.)

She even kinda fights like a feline, he’d told Inupi one time all those years ago, as he thought of the way your lithe and minimal movements were always able to take bigger guys down along with the quiet ferocity to match.

Maybe she learns from all the cats back in the shrine, Inupi responded—a joke, essentially, in his own terms. Koko suppressed a smile: cat and dog, you and her, maybe that’s why you two get along so well went his own, sad attempt at humor, because you and your second-in-command were obviously very close and very unlike cats and dogs. The joke, however, sadly did not seem to land, and Inupi’s forehead only creased, his expression dumbfounded.

That’s not how it works.

Koko never forgets the day you were first introduced by Mikey. It’s at the back of Toman’s abandoned shrine, at the edge of the thick forest surrounding the area, that their new leader had said they’ll be meeting Black Dragon’s temporary captain. He never specified what anyone would be doing in the forest at this hour in the afternoon, and neither him nor Inupi had asked, but then there you were: in your bare feet and in your school uniform, attempting to move a big pot of plant from one spot of land to another, your expression almost annoyed. (At the pot, most likely, which did not seem to budge.)

Mikey called your attention still a few meters afar:

“Hey. Whatcha up to—”

in a tone that very clearly did not seem to intend to place whatever you were up to above this particular Toman business at the moment, so really, it would not have made any difference whether you answered or not. Which you didn’t, only glancing at your president once—not with the angry expression, at least—before continuing with your ordeal.

The pot nudged just a tiny bit.

Only when Mikey finally stopped right in front of you and you noticed Koko’s and Inupi’s figures behind him did you finally stand straight, looking at Mikey quizzically. “What’s up?” Quick nods to Inupi and him. “Hello.”

Mikey briefly introduced all of you and proceeded to explain that you were to be formally placed as the Black Dragon’s new captain today, to which your eyes slightly widened.

“Oh, I thought you said tomorrow.”

Mikey hesitated at first but then shrugged. “Hm, they came here already today so I thought might as well. Come on, it’ll be quick.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and then to his two quiet companions but then so agreed anyway, and as Mikey ushered you in front nobody else aside from Koko seemed to notice your lack of shoes. You’d only taken a few steps ahead when you tugged at the sleeve of Mikey’s coat, making him pause.

“I don’t have my Toman jacket,” which was obvious but was not what Koko was expecting for you to say, if he were to be honest.

Mikey looked at you blankly. “Well, where is it?”

“Well, something happened to it,” was your only vague response, but then you turned your head to where you just came from making all three boys follow suit. On a wooden bench slightly obscured by the plants were a family of cats consisting of a mother and her kittens, all sleeping peacefully in a cozy pile on top of your balled up Toman jacket.

“Oh. Okay.” Mikey only nodded like he completely understood. Without thinking about it twice, Sano Manjiro, Tokyo Manji gang’s No. 1—feared around the streets of Tokyo, bowed to no one and stepped over everyone—took off his billowing Toman coat and draped it over your shoulders. “Here, you can borrow mine,” he simply said. “I mean, you gotta look the part.”

Your mouth stretched into a grin.

Beside him, Inupi gave Koko a quick, wordless glance accompanied by that tiny, upward curve on the corner of his mouth that anyone else could’ve missed. Inupi rarely smiled at anything anymore those days—perhaps one of the reasons why this singular, initial meeting had stuck in his mind all these years. It’s one of those memories Koko always thought he could probably live without, occupying a quiet little corner in his mind which, frankly, a much more practical or life-changing memory could have occupied, if it were up to him. But then there you were with your cats and your air of schoolgirl abandon making Inupi smile, an information that he simply didn’t know what to do about.

“Alright, boss. But please, no speeches.”

This made Mikey laugh. “Can’t promise you that, I’m sorry.” It’s only after a few more steps that Mikey did finally notice your bare feet.

“Where the hell are your shoes?”

“Oh, they got wet,” you quietly said. “I was playing with the cats…” and three pairs of eyes stared at you like it wasn’t enough of an answer. “With a hose. Manjiro, I was watering the plants.”

And so you stood atop the shrine steps while addressing the men from Black Dragons, your feet bare and covered in scratches and the Toman president’s much bigger coat over your shoulders. Nobody questioned the absence of shoes—at least not out loud—not with your leader Manjiro right by your side, in his flip flops holding a half-eaten taiyaki in one hand.

The memory comes unannounced in snips and pieces some years later as another Bonten meeting ends. There’s various movements around the table by now, but then Koko catches your undivided staring as you sat across from him, your chin propped up against one hand. He ignores you for a short while as he fixes his things, until he finally decides to look up.

“Anything wrong?”

You suddenly purse your lips in a small smile amidst the gloomy and rigid air of mid-morning Monday meetings and for a moment, it’s as if Koko is thinking of another memory.

“I just realized you kinda look like my Mr. Kaku,” is all you say. The little remark makes not-your Kakucho look up from the document he’s reading without really turning his head, while Rindou who is seated beside you squints—in curiosity or amusement, Koko can’t tell. From his own right side, Takeomi is slowly angling his head as if meaning to take a better look at Koko behind his curtain of silver hair.

Mr. Kaku, of course, is your pet cat, the one with the smooth silver fur that you’d rescued from an abandoned site during an out-of-town business trip some months ago. You and your unimaginative pet naming sense landed on “Mr. Kaku,” in honor of your then-partner Kakucho who had volunteered to keep the cat inside his bag thru the doors of the hotel that didn’t allow pets. But he looks nothing like Kaku, Manjiro had quipped, earning a few grunts of approval from your ever-biased circle, but you couldn’t have been bothered so you stuck with the name.

Koko is quick to decipher that in your-speak, cat comparisons are more or less compliments and never a form of insult—not that in your mid-20s, you all haven’t already gotten above petty verbal affronts, after all. So he humors you, eyes now back to his things but with his attention still on the matter at hand. “What, is it the hair?”

“Yeah, it’s the hair,” Rindou says before you can answer, his head lolling lazily on one shoulder. “Can’t believe no one had noticed before.”

“And the eyes,” you simply nod. “They both got these nice, sharp eyes.”

Would you have named him Mr. Koko if you thought he resembled Kokonoi before? is the one lingering question that none of the men around you bother to ask.

It’s only a couple of weeks later, after another Bonten meeting, when Koko hands you a souvenir from his weekend business trip: a red cat collar with a customized pendant, a tiny enamel engraving of your Bonten tattoo. The pendant is black on one side and gold on the other, and the small gasp you let out makes every head in the room turn—the almost unfamiliar, genuine sound of delight thawing the usual morning’s stern atmosphere.

“There’s a shop right across the hotel where they make rush engravings like that.” Koko is saying casually like it’s no big deal, but he sees the expression on your face and he can’t help but grin. “Thought Mr. Kaku might like it.”

Your eyes perk up at the mention of ‘Mr. Kaku’ like Koko is the first person to ever acknowledge that Mr. Kaku doesn’t need to be named anything else apart from ‘Mr. Kaku.’ “Oh, it’s perfect, Koko. I’ll send you pictures once I make him wear it,” you say, your attention instantly back to your hands, choosing to ignore his ‘I think just one picture might be enough.’

From the other end of the room, Sanzu is making his way towards the door. “Congratulations,” he smirks as he passes by behind you, quirking one eyebrow up at Koko. “Now she won’t be shutting up about it all weekend,” because Sanzu will be spending the next three days with you over in another city to conduct business with another drug scion, of course.

Across the table, Kakucho only sighs before shaking his head. “I still wish you could’ve picked a better name for your cat,” he says—a valid complaint, Koko thinks bemusedly, now that your own Mr. Kaku looks more like a feline version of himself.

chapter 8 >

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this one goes out to my closest friends the ones who make me feel less alien

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[moonctzeny]

Baby

au+trope+prompt game: college!au Jaehyun + fake dating + it’s just so hard not to fall in love with you

pairing: jung jaehyun x fem!reader x asshole!yuta

other members as background characters: yuta, mark, johnny, jungwoo

genre: angst, smut

word count: 9,124

warnings: abusive relationship, toxic behaviour

summary: “When Yuta breaks your heart for the millionth time, you meet Jaehyun, freshly broken up and looking for revenge. You decide to start fake dating to get back on your exes, but your plan takes an unexpected turn. You fall in love.”

a/n: I really don’t like putting yuta in a negative light like that it’s just for the fic’s sake! also I literally used the name Naeun as Jaehyun’s ex because I think it’s SUCH a pretty name, NO correlation whatsoever to any korean celebrity named naeun!

_____________________________________

You knew it was wrong.

Looking through your boyfriend’s, Yuta’s, phone while he took a shower, was the arguably the tackiest thing you have ever done.

He was always distant lately, only seeming to make time for a booty call, and at first, you blamed your hectic schedule. Your major was demanding, to say the least, so when Yuta suggested that you replace your dates with some “quality time” at his dorm, you had no objections. You didn’t know that he also meant ignoring your calls, canceling on you at the last minute to meet up with his frat brothers, and keeping your relationship strictly between four walls and two naked bodies.

The thought of him meaning more to you than you meant for him ate you away. It creeped in your mind while you heard the water running from your shower, and lead your fingertips to tap in the password of his phone.

Opening his messaging app, you recognize his best friends’ icons in a group chat consisting of his frat members. You scrolled up, ignoring the latest massages regarding a party that the frat would be throwing in two weeks. You started to feel guilty, not exactly sure what you were looking for, when you saw your name at the screen.

m0rklee[00:10]: @yutassanhyung, i saw your girl today at the supermarket! why didn’t you tell her about the party next Sunday?

you[00:12]: what girl lol  

m0rklee[00:13]: y/n?? i thought you guys were together?

you[00:12]: nahh

fairyteil[00:15]: eyy @yutassan if you’re done with her i know a couple guys who wanna hit it too

you[00:16]: be my guest haha

you[00:16]: don’t get me wrong she was bad when we met but shit is getting kinda stale

tenoutoften[00:17]: aren’t you on your way to her place lol

you[00:17]: hey hey pussy is pussy

Was that all you were to him? Pussy?

Yuta called you special, he called you yours. He didn’t like it when you were talking to other guys. He ripped your lingerie set because he didn’t want anyone else to ever see you in it but him. And then he dared to go around and call you a fling?

You heard the water stop running and knew you didn’t have much time until you had to face him, the thought alone making you sick.

You didn’t bother to lock his phone again, leaving the chat that made you so upset open. Grabbing your keys and a jacket, you left your place and hoped that Yuta would get the message and get the fuck out of there before you came back.

Your legs walked on their own accord, your memory leading you to the only place where you knew you’d find any sort of comfort. When Johnny opened his door, tears were already streaming down your face. He took the open tequila bottle you were holding and pulled you in for a hug. He smelled like weed and beer, and after hearing the “Is that the pizzas?”, you realized that your best friend wasn’t alone.

You quickly wiped your cheeks and fixed your sex hair that Yuta messed up, trying your best to look presentable. Johnny put a hand on your back and lead you to his living room. Jungwoo, your and Johnny’s friend from high school, was sprawled out on the couch, a little disappointed after seeing that you were, in fact, not the pizzas. Next to him, drowning in a bean bag, was Jaehyun. You didn’t really know him very well other than the fact that he took the same major as Johnny, so you felt a little insecure looking as messy as you did right now. His eyes were red, just like the other men’s, but you could swear his eyelashes looked a little damp.

Jungwoo’s words were muffled by the barbecue chips he was munching away.

“Yoo y/n, I didn’t know you were coming!”

You placed the tequila bottle on the table,

“Yeah, Woo, figured you wanted something to drink”

“Move” Johnny murmured to him, but he only stretched and sighed dramatically, shoving a handful of chips in his mouth.

“I don’t need a drink I need food. I’m hungry and I got the munchies”

Johnny grabbed his ankle and with impressive ease, dragged Jungwoo to the floor. The taller man sat on the couch, on the side next to Jaehyun and you followed his lead, letting a grumpy Jungwoo lean his head on your knees. Taking the lit joint from Jaehyun’s fingers, Johnny turned his attention back on you.

“So tell me chica” he said and took a hit, “who do I have to beat up?”

“Yuta”, you grumbled, “I’m ghosting this motherfucker”

You felt the vibrations on your lap when Jungwoo started talking.

“What did he do this time? Didn’t I tell you not to get involved with stupid frat boys?”

You started petting his hair, the softness comforting under your fingers.

“Apparently I’m not ‘bad’ enough for him anymore” you replied, throwing air quotes and rolling your eyes.

“Whaaaaat” Johnny drew out with a cough after taking a particularly deep inhale from the blunt, “you’re like the baddest bitch I know. Even now, that you’re all puffy from crying and smell like his dick”

You hit his shoulder, almost dropping the joint he was passing to Jungwoo, embarrassed that he would say something like that in front of Jaehyun, an almost stranger to you.

“I don’t know, man” Jungwoo started, and you could hear the smile on his face, “when girls cry it’s kinda hot”

You were contemplating how many hairs of his you should rip out of his scalp when the telecom rang, assumably by the pizza delivery man.

“Saved by the bell”, Jungwoo muttered to himself and got up quickly to open the door. While the youngest paid for the pizzas, Johnny held your hand, a bit guilty for his words earlier. He had a mischievous smirk and kept shifting his gaze between you and Jaehyun, who had been sitting in silence ever since you got here, occasionally smiling at your friends’ teasing.

“Fuck Yuta, man. You should find a nice guy to treat you well and fuck you even better y’know?” he started, and patted his buddy roughly on the back, “Like Jae over here”

Your eyes widened and you instinctively glanced at Jaehyun, ears a deep red and a matching shocked look on his face.

You cleared your throat, “No offense, but, like, aren’t you practically married to this girl-uhhh what’s her name again? Naeun?”

To someone who wasn’t listening to your conversation, it must have seemed like you tased him, or brought up a painful childhood memory, or asked him if he’d be willing to lick a lemon after washing his teeth. He looked away from you, and turned his attention to his nails, ripping a cuticle off in deep concentration. His voice was so quiet when he finally spoke, that you barely heard him. “I broke up with her, actually.. Like, three hours ago”

Guilt washed over you in an instant, not knowing that you scratched a wound so fresh. You wanted to apologize and even ask if you should leave the three alone, when Jungwoo grabbed the Tequila bottle and crashed on the couch clumsily between you and Johnny.

“Fuck love!”, he yelled, “let’s get wasted”

_______________________________________

You stared at the empty José Cuervo bottle rising up and down Johnny’s chest with every one of his snores. He was laid out on his couch, his tall height taking up all of its entirety, leaving Jungwoo passed out on the floor. Jaehyun followed your eyes and smiled at Johnny’s sleeping face, mouth open and tongue spilling out.

After the 4th shot, you found out that Jae was a pretty decent guy. He let you rant about Yuta while your friends were busy trying to see who could eat a large pizza by himself the fastest. You told him all about how you never went on dates anymore, how you looked through his phone after having sex, and the text conversation you found earlier tonight. He listened carefully, without judgment, and after smoking some more of Johnny’s staff, he opened up to you about his relationship with Naeun.

Or rather, how he found her fucking his roommate on his own bed.

You always thought of these two as what they call a ‘power couple’. Valedictorian meets basketball all-star, they graduate and have beautiful babies, while all the rest of us mortals can do is admire from afar. You would have never guessed the toxicity, constant cheating and manipulation that Jaehyun was recounting. You bonded over stories about cancelled dates, emotional distancing and feeling like you’re always the one giving but never receiving. If you were being honest, you would have never expected such emotional depth from a college point guard. He drew you in with his gentleness, and you noticed how different he was from Yuta, who engulfed you with his intensity. You also hated how even now, you were still thinking of him.

Just then, you got his third message for the night:

asshole [03:35]:come on baby don’t ignore mee, me and the guys were just messing around

you [03:36]:stop texting me

you [03:38]:we’re done

You locked your phone, upset and angry, and felt Jaehyun sigh.

“I know I’m falling for her stupid games, but I just want to get back at her y’know? Show her what she’s missing, that type of thing”

You knew exactly what he was talking about. During the past hours, you weighted all the possible ways you could make Yuta regret ever taking you for granted.

He was so charming that he could get laid with anyone he wanted (and probably did, even when you were ‘dating’), but even after what he said to Taeil, you knew that he hated the thought of anyone else fucking you. He wanted your body to be his, without having to deal with the commitment that came with that privilege.

You thought about fucking one of his frat buddies, but that would get you from being called ‘Yuta’s girl’ to ‘ΘΨΩ’s cumslut’, and your self esteem couldn’t take that blow.

Jaehyun’s deep voice interrupted your train of thoughts.

“Maybe Johnny’s right”

“Huh? ”

“You should date me”

You blinked at him twice, not knowing what to reply when you saw him wave his hands frantically in front of his face.

“Fake date me! I mean, you should fake date me. Sorry, the weed’s got me a little fucked up”

At first, the idea seemed crazy. Yes, it would make Yuta furious that you were supposedly fucking one of the hottest guys on campus. Yes, Naeun would get mad that she didn’t have Jaehyun’s constant attention that she so craved anymore. Yes, you two might have revealed your deepest insecurities, opened up your hearts to each other all while sharing a bottle of alcohol, but you had never hanged out together without Johnny being present. You had barely hanged out together, period. But wouldn’t that make it even more believable? Two of Johnny’s best friends break up at the same time, meet up at his house and inevitably end up together. You didn’t share the same major, so you wouldn’t have to put up the act too much at college. And with social media, making a fake relationship believable was easier than ever.

asshole [03:42]: fuck you. you think you can find someone better than me?

Drunk and lacking logic, you agreed on the plan, and gave him your number. You had just finished creating the contact on his phone when he suddenly got up and rushed to the bathroom, facing the consequences of the tequila and weed combo.

You passed out on Johnny’s bean bag and when you woke up on Sunday afternoon, Jaehyun was gone.

———————————————————

You didn’t expect him to text you on Monday, thinking that it was intoxication that gave him the idea of fake dating and made it look brilliant. So when he gave you the address to his dorm, to further discuss your ‘operation’ you were surprised, but determined to succeed.

The plan was simple. You would start tagging each other on your instagram stories, to show people that you were spending time alone. He agreed to pick you up from your lecture on Wednesday, your classes coinciding on neighboring buildings. And for you final act, he’d come with you as your plus one for the frat’s party next Sunday. Mark was nice enough to invite you, after Yuta ‘forgot’ to do it instead, and Naeun, being Taeil’s sister, wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was the perfect opportunity to flaunt your new relationship, all while being on the opponent’s part of the field.

You started off innocently enough. After you and Jaehyun finished brainstorming ideas about the ‘operation’ as he insisted on calling it, he suggested you stay for a movie and some Chinese food. His dorm was cozy, a little messy, maybe, but it fitted his boyish charm. He had a nice collection of vinyls, stating that his favorite one was I. by Cigarettes After Sex. You were a bit taken aback by his love for dreampop and rnb, but the more you got to know him, the more it seemed to fit him nicely. On the wall next to his bed hung a display full of all of his sport trophies. He was known for his basketball skills, but you also saw medals for soccer, track, volleyball. Amongst them all was an English certificate and a spelling bee award. You wondered if he ever felt pressure trying to be so perfect all the time.

The movie was terrible, but Jaehyun managed to entertain you by making silly jokes throughout and mocking the actors’ bad acting. It was the first time you ever saw him crack a joke like that and be willing to contort his handsome features. So much better than the dream boy image he was feigning for everyone, but you didn’t know him well enough to tell him. The movie was halfway done when he picked up his phone and opened a camera app through his Instagram.

“Shouldn’t we take a story? Since we’re together anyways?”

You nodded and scooted closer to him. He was a bit hesitant as he positioned the camera to capture your legs that were touching, a scene from the movie playing in the background. It was a cute picture but nothing indicated that the two of you were more than friends. You pressed the X at the top of the screen to discard the picture, and placed his hand on top of your thigh. You turned around just in time to witness his ears turning into a fuschia pink.

“Is that okay?”

He nodded and regained his cool, taking the picture and tagging you with a red heart next to your username.

A couple hours after leaving his place you texted him, asking if Naeun had replied to his story. He said that unfortunately, the only person who batted an eye was Johnny, replying with a “ 👀 👀 👀 “ .

———————————————————

You met up again the next day, at your apartment this time.

He looked nervous being in a place so foreign to him yet so personal to you, so you decided to turn the lights down to help him relax, insisting that you weren’t trying to seduce him or anything. He laughed at your joke but still looked tense, and you thought that maybe he needed some liquid courage to open up.

“Hey Jae. Want a drink?”

It took him 3 beers to finally loosen up and show you his dimpled grin again. You were sitting on the floor, facing each other and feeling comfortable in the ambience of the room. A Spotify playlist was playing in the background so it would fill up the awkward silence but wouldn’t distract you from your conversation.

“Wait wait wait. So you sleep without a pillowcase?”

“Yeah, didn’t you notice it when you came to my place yesterday?”

“I thought you forgot to do your laundry!”

His laugh was resonating and deep and manly. It made his eyes disappear and his face light up, not that it didn’t anyway - the guy could easily be a skin care ambassador, and you made a mental note to ask him about his moisturizer later.

You followed his gaze to one of your walls. Pictures were filling it up, memories of yourself and your siblings, of your friends from home that you missed, of Johnny and Jungwoo. You felt a little insecure then, comparing them to Jaehyun’s countless medals and awards.

“I’m not good at sports like you, so I have nothing else to hang on my wall”, you laughed awkwardly but he shook his head.

“No, I’m actually jealous of you. Everyone always seems to want to be around you”

“Except Yuta”

“Yuta’s an idiot, then. You are way out of his league anyways.”

You felt yourself turning into a blushing mess and looked for a way to break the awkward silence that followed his comment.

“Wanna share another one?” you asked him, shaking the empty beer bottle on your hand and he nodded. You started getting up when you felt him put a hand on your shoulder and pick up the bottles you had finished up from the table himself. He rinsed them off and put them away to the recycling bag next to your sink, the domesticity of the action making you melt. You watched as he stood on his tiptoes to reach a lager from the top drawer of your fridge, revealing a defined set of abs and two cute dimples on his lower back. You ripped your eyes away immediately, like you were caught doing something illegal, and he walked back to his spot next to you. As soon as he sat down, he groaned and threw his head back.

“The bottle opener was on the kitchen counter. I forgot to bring it”

Without saying a word, you took the beer from his hand and placed the cap in your mouth. It was a party trick that your older brother had taught you when you were 15. After finding a stable indentation on your teeth, you manipulate the rough edges of the cap and pop the beer open. You return the glass bottle to Jaehyun, who’s looking at you incredulously.

“Fuck me, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen”, he breaths out and you feel your whole face burning up. You opened and closed your mouth a couple times, trying to register that someone like him thought you were hot, when you felt your phone vibrating, saving you from further embarrassing yourself.

Johnny’s picture lit up on the screen and you mentally prepared yourself for the following conversation. You and Jaehyun decided against telling anyone about your relationship being fake. It’s not that your best friend wasn’t reliable, but if you told Johnny you had to tell Jungwoo, and Jungwoo doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut to save his life.

“John, what’s up”

“Eyy chica what took you so long?”

You looked at Jaehyun who had leaned back against the pillow of your couch and sipped on the beer you would share.

“Yeah sorry I was a little busy”

“Busy.. with Jaehyun?”

You tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, but you were still trying to recover from the previous incident.

“Yeah, he’s here”

“Ohh I see, little y/n can’t get enough of Jae’s slam dunks.. I bet he’s teaching you the bank shot, the opening tip, the double dribble, the fast break, the palming.. he sure is great for a rebound-”

You interrupted him, growing tired of his nonstop basketball innuendos.

“Why did you call me Johnny?”

“Damn, sorry, I just wanted to ask you what you wanted for your birthday”

Shit, you forgot about that.

“Just get me whatever, I don’t care, you know how much I hate celebrating anyways. I’ll get the cake myself, so no surprises”

Jaehyun lifted his brows and waited patiently for your call to end before asking:

“What are we celebrating?”

“It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m going to invite a couple people over and Johnny’s already stressing over it. Don’t worry, though, you don’t have to come”

“How can your boyfriend not come to your birthday party?”

You laugh bitterly.

“Well, it’s not like Yuta came last year. To any of my parties for that matter”

“Well, he must have made up to you somehow? Got you a very special gift or something?”

“If you count eating me out as a gift then yes. It was very rare indeed.”

You took the beer from him and took a sip yourself. You noticed he had his eyes glued on his phone, his expression gloomy.

“Is everything okay?”

He snapped out of it at the sound of your voice and turned his phone screen towards you.

It was Naeun, or rather a post on her instagram account. She had her tongue out in the picture, hugging two guys that were unfamiliar to you. You read the caption.

“One day the loser will realize that the diamond he thinks he’s playing with is actually a rock”

Jaehyun mumbled an apology. I guess he thought that you’d be a bit offended being called a ‘rock’ but you were actually feeling satisfied. Your fake relationship had managed to get her attention, and for Jaehyun’s sake, you wanted to rub it in her face even more.

You opened your camera app and placed your phone on the table next to you. He figured what you wanted to do so he sat up straighter and motioned to his lap. You’d normally be a bit hesitant to sit on him if it wasn’t for the two beers and your determination, that had fired up again due to Naeun’s words. Leaning back a bit, you set up the self-timer and he put his hands on your hips to stabilize you.

You had agreed on turning up the boldness of your pics, so you placed your hands on his neck, right under his jawline. He snaked his hands upwards and wrapped them around your waist, bringing you even closer. His eyes were glossy from the alcohol and he looked at you with an impressive calmness, considering the intimacy of your position. It seemed like he was waiting for something, the ticking of the timer urging you to take things a bit further and he nodded, as if giving you permission. You leaned in, and pressed your lips on the corner of his mouth, like you couldn’t decide on kissing his dimple or his lips.

After hearing the click you climbed down from his lap, and prayed that the photo came out in focus. Your heart couldn’t handle another retake. From the angle of the camera, it seemed like you were a couple in love, sharing a sweet kiss on the lips. You added a cute caption and tagged him, so he could repost it later on his own account.

It hadn’t been 5 minutes before your phone lit up.

yutassan replied to your story: what the fuck?

You smiled triumphantly and showed the message to Jaehyun, who laughed at Yuta’s reaction. He gave you an excuse about some forgotten homework and how it was late and he has to go.

“Remember, I’ll pick you up tomorrow from class, so wait for me”

After he left, you thought about your almost kiss and the dimples of his back for way too long.

——————————————————

You exited the classroom with a growing headache. The lesson today seemed extra boring, and all you could think about was that you had to convince Johnny that it really took just three days for Jaehyun and you to officially start dating.

As promised, the pair waited for you at the end of the hallway, your best friend looking at the two of you expectantly. Jaehyun was a good actor, you thought, as he approached you before you got to reach them, meeting you halfway.

“Hey baby”, he smiled at you, the nickname turning your legs into jelly. He wrapped one arm around your shoulder, and kissed your cheek sweetly, making Johnny coo at the two of you.

“I can’t believe that I hadn’t thought about pairing the two of you together earlier”

He must have thought that the awkward body language and the silence that fell was a sign from you and Jae to leave you alone. He excused himself, saying something about “letting the young lovers swim in the pool of their love”, or something along those lines.

The two of you walked together, following the road to your next class that was just a few buildings away.

“So how has class, baby

You rolled your eyes at the insistent nickname, “you know that Johnny left us, like, 5 minutes ago, right?”

“Let me enjoy itttt”, he whined, “Naeun never let me call her anything like that”

“Why is that?”

He looked at his feet moving and frowned in thought.

“She said I was embarrassing her in front of her friends. I think she just didn’t want other guys to know that we were together”

You felt a pang of sadness and you realized that it always followed any conversation you two had about his and Naeun’s relationship.

“Well then if you call me baby, I can will you honey. Or sugarplum. Or pumpkin pie. Or-“

It was startling how fast Jaehyun pressed you up against the wall. In just a moment, he had put his hands on your waist, burying his face in your hair. You shivered when you felt his breath as he spoke against your neck.

“Yuta’s watching us”

All you could do was stay frozen in place, and listen with wide eyes.

“Huh?”

He chuckled at your response, but he replied patiently.

“Yuta? Your ex? He’s right over there. Figured we should give him a show”

And with that, he kissed you. Everything was happening so fast, that you could barely comprehend that Jaehyun, that was a stranger in the past weekend, was now making out with you at the hall, for everyone to see.

And that included Yuta.

You opened your eyes in the kiss and searched for him, spotting him with his frat buddies. His eyes were piercing through the two of you, and you saw Mark holding him back by the shoulder. The look on his face was priceless.

Jaehyun pulled back and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Thank you”, you whispered, “but I need one more favor”

“Anything baby”

“Slap my ass as we walk away”

Sure enough, Jaehyun took your hand and you continue your walk, momentarily stopping to make eye contact with Yuta and give you a little spank. It was something your ex loved doing on the rare occasion you two met up outside of your dorms, no matter how public the setting. You heard Mark yelling something at his ‘Yuta hyung’ and that’s when you thought, your plan just might work.

———————————————————

You didn’t see Jaehyun until your birthday. It was just a small get together, but your place was starting to get a bit crowded as time went by. Johnny had been suffocating you with hugs ever since he got there, reminiscing the time you met as teenagers and calling you an old lady. Jungwoo on the other hand couldn’t stop asking about Jaehyun. You kept making excuses about how he didn’t feel so good today and might not make it. You didn’t expect him to come, of course. Just because you had agreed on fake dating, it didn’t mean that he had any obligation to be present in all your social events. The loving message he left on your Facebook wall was enough to fulfill the purpose of your current relationship.

That is why, when you heard a knock on your door, the last thing you thought you’d see was Jaehyun holding a dozen of red roses.

“Happy birthday baby!”, he exclaimed and gave you a kiss on your cheek,

“I asked Johnny about your favorite flowers, hope we got it right”

Feeling speechless, you took the roses from his hands and inhaled their sweet scent. You were dumbfounded that he actually came, and even brought you a present. You thanked him for coming, and he repeated the same thing he said back at your place, “how could your boyfriend miss your birthday?”

And even you were fooled, momentarily, when he held you by the waist later that night and sang you happy birthday. You blew your candles and all you could wish for was a love like the one Jaehyun was faking for you. He helped you clean up, and was more than willing to socialize with all of your friends. You admired how well he fitted in your social circle, already friends with Johnny and Jungwoo, yet so nice that even people he met for the first time came to love him.

You were sitting on one of your dining chairs, your two best friends already passed out on your couch. They had brought two bottles of vodka and your favorite tequila, but you weren’t in the mood to drink. You couldn’t help but remember the time when you practically begged Yuta to be there on your special day and he still missed it. You were scared that if you got a little drunk you would text him, or worse, call him, his sweet talk bringing you back to him all over again.

The only sounds resonating through your apartment were Jungwoo’s light snoring and a chill Spotify playlist playing from your laptop. A familiar tune came on, and you recognized it being ‘Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby’ by Cigarettes After Sex. You immediately looked at Jaehyun, the only conscious person still at the party other than you. He threw his head back and sighed contently at the sound of his favorite song. You saw him get up and walk over to you, reaching his hand out.

“Will the birthday girl spare me a dance?”

You slow danced in the middle of your living room, ending the night in the sweetest note. Jaehyun always felt so stable, so safe. You wondered how he got himself tangled up in that mess of a relationship with Naeun. Maybe it was the way he treated people with such kindness, void of any prejudice. Maybe he was a little bit like you, and didn’t think he deserved much.

“She’s crazy” you mumble against his chest, his confused hum making you feel the vibration on your face.

“Naeun. She’s crazy for ever cheating on someone like you. You’re perfect”

“I have my flaws”

You thought about how competitive he got when you played beer pong earlier, how his ears get red when he gets embarrassed, how he shows his dimpled smile in apology when he’s late. His love for drinking and how it makes him more honest, his trust in people that must have gotten him hurt many, many times. You liked them all, you loved them all.

“It’s just so hard for someone not to fall in love with you”

———————————————————

And that’s how the days went by with Jaehyun. You met up almost every day, in restaurants for a nice dinner, or hanging out in each other’s dorm. It was so much fun getting to spend time with him, that you sometimes forgot to make your meetup public on social media. You helped him with his math homework, and he helped you dye your hair. You even went to his basketball game, and he dedicated one of his goals to you, following every teen movie cliche.

You felt a little sad how it was all falling to an end. The plan was successful, for the most part. Naeun had asked Jaehyun to meet up later tonight, talk things through. You wished he wouldn’t go back to her, but you knew you had no real say in his love life. Yuta saw that he didn’t own you, that there were people like Jaehyun that were willing to give you what your ex had promised you, but wasn’t able to give. Well, not really, you reminded yourself. Jaehyun was faking it. You shouldn’t let yourself get lost in the fairytale, even if the past two weeks were some of the best of your life. He had proposed that you claim that the reason for your upcoming ‘breakup’ was differences in character, but you decided to stay friends. You were happy that at least, in the midst of all this mess, you met someone like him.

It was Saturday, a day before the frat party. You had invited him over, celebrate the end of your relationship with some pizza and a movie.

The movie was boring, but Jaehyun made you laugh. It reminded you of the first time the two of you met up alone. You had gotten comfy on your couch, sharing popcorn when you noticed. A huge bruise was peeking out from Jaehyun’s tank top, the dark color contrasting against his porcelain skin.

“What the hell?!” you exclaimed and scooted closer to him. You rushed your hands on his chest, your fingers pushing the fabric aside to examine the bruise. You found even more bruises scattered around it, accompanied with scratches that stretched longer than his top could.

“It was from the game the other day”, he tried to excuse, but you weren’t buying it.

“Jae, I was there. You played basketball, not WWE. Now who did this to you?”

He sighed and fidgeted with a loose string on his jeans, clearly uncomfortable.

“When I caught Naeun with my roommate, and broke up with her, she didn’t take it very well”

You kept staring at him, urging him to continue.

“She started calling me names, saying that she’s the best I’ll ever have. That I’m worthless without her, just a social climber trying to mooch off of her popularity”

He motioned on his torso, “When I kicked her out of my place, this happened”

“Is that the first time she acted violent?”

He shook his head. “Pretty much every time she didn’t get her way”

“Jae”, you started, placing your hands on top of his “this is abuse. Have you ever talked to anyone about it?”

“It’s- it’s nothing. It’s embarrassing”

“No it’s not! Abuse is not exclusive to any gender! Guys get affected by it too!”

“It’s embarrassing because I know I can physically stop her but I don’t”

His eyes were starting to water, the sight was heartbreaking. “I sit there frozen and just take it”

“Why?”

“Because part of me believes her. That I’m hopeless without someone like her, dictating what I can and cannot do. I don’t need a shrink to tell me that it’s sick. I have these bruises to remind me”

You were starting to get angry. Angry at that bitch for hurting him, angry at Jaehyun who puts up with it, angry at you, for not seeing past the obvious like everyone else.

“I’m not letting you go see her tonight”

He laughs at you, putting up an invisible barrier between you.

“Not letting me? Wake up y/n! We’re not a real couple, remember? We’re just faking it to satisfy our selfish needs. This whole thing is pointless”

He stormed to the door and you tried to stop him, but he was too riled up for that.

“You’re going to forget about me as soon as this whole circus is over, just like everyone else”

“How can you accuse me like that when you haven’t even let me be a part of your life for real?”

“Because now you’ve met me. Me. With all my ugly, all my fucking bruises. Is it still so hard not to fall in love with me?”

With that, he closed your door with a bang, not even letting you answer that yes, it was impossible not to fall in love with Jung Jaehyun.

———————————————————

History seemed to repeat itself, as you got a text from him the next morning, that you didn’t expect.

jaehyunnie: let’s meet outside of the frat at 10:30, i’ll bring the booze.

And that’s what you did, showing up with your shortest skirt, spotting Jaehyun sitting a few meters from the frat’s entrance. He was laying against the wall, his eyes red, and he gave you the same smile he always did when he saw you, as if your fight yesterday never happened.

“Hey baby” he said and pulled you in for a hug. You couldn’t resist the invitation, and felt yourself melting in his embrace. He smelled like weed and shower gel.

It was nice, how he proclaimed your truce, but you still had to get something off your chest.

“Listen, Jae, about last night, you were right. This whole thing is pointless. We can go home, if you want”

“No baby”, he started and pulled away just enough to look at you. His eyes were droopy but glancing back at you with such care as he moved a strand of hair out of your face, “we’re here to have fun”

You wondered why he was still willing to come to the party with you as your boyfriend. Maybe he wanted to do you one last favor with Yuta, or maybe he wasn’t done indulging in Naeun’s petty games. You looked at his forearms, noticing a few scratches that weren’t there yesterday.

“I’m guessing you and Naeun didn’t make up last night”

He shook his head, and rubbed his hands on your back, keeping your temper down.

“Did you get in a fight?”

“Something like that”

You didn’t know what came over you. It was anger and protectiveness, possessiveness even. You laced your fingers in his locks, letting his head rest against the wall. If Naeun wanted you to speak in her language, then so be it.

You started kissing his neck, on that part on the side that is tender and sensitive. You heard passerbys whistling at the two of you, seemingly getting it on in public. Your licks and sucks weren’t meant for pleasure though, you had a goal and that was to leave a bruise. A statement for Naeun.

You walked in the building hand in hand and followed Jae to the kitchen, where he poured you a drink out of the bottle he brought along. Looking around, you sensed a couple familiar faces staring back at you from the crowd. Taeyong from class, Mark and Ten, and last but not least, Naeun. You downed the drink in one shot and lead Jaehyun to the dance floor.

He put his hands on your hips, and swayed you at the sound of some club song you weren’t familiar with. You ground your ass against him and he hissed, keeping you close against him. A little voice in your head was screaming how this isn’t real, to him this is all pretend, but you ignored it. You wanted her to think that he was yours, that she couldn’t hurt him anymore.

“Why are you doing this to me y/n? Yuta’s not even around”

Jae turned you around, and you put your hands on his shoulders. He looked absolutely breathtaking tonight. You searched his face for a flaw, yet couldn’t find any. You wouldn’t change a single thing on him.

“She’s here” you said venomously.

He buried his face in your neck, inhaling the smell of your hair and trying to ground himself from his high. “I don’t give a fuck about Naeun”

He kissed your ear and your mind fogged up even more.

“She didn’t ask me to meet up yesterday, I did. I wanted to tell her that she and I were done, for good. I thought she wouldn’t be here tonight, but I guess she changed her mind”

What?

“Then why are you here? And why did you let me give you that big ass hickey?”

He stopped nibbling on your ear, and whispered to it instead.

“I’d never miss up on a chance to feel yours”

The bodies dancing next to you, the liquer you had downed a few minutes ago and Jaehyun’s words were getting too much to handle. You felt suffocated, unable to distinguish where reality ended and pretending began with you two.

“Jae, I need a moment, excuse me”

Releasing yourself from his grasp, you made your way to the kitchen. There wasn’t any fresh air, but there was plenty of booze. You poured yourself a shot and as you downed it, you felt another liquid trickling down your top.

You looked up to find out who managed to make this night even worse for you, only to come across the last person you needed to see tonight. Yuta.

“Shit I’m sorry”, he muttered and you avoided eye contact, thinking you’d manage to get away without him realizing it was you. Luck wasn’t on your side tonight.

“Well well well. Long time no see.”

Confidence was dripping from his smile, to his stance, to the way he looked at you. He had dyed his hair your favorite color, his white locks begging to be tugged and played with. To top it all off, he smelled good, so, so good. He smelled dangerous. Comfortable.

You immediately realized that you didn’t have the self control needed to resist him. Turning on your heel, you started to get the hell out of there when he held your wrist, keeping you in place.

“Wait, I’m sorry, you can’t stay like this, you’ll catch a cold”

“Since when are you worried about me?”

“C’mon y/n, please. Come upstairs, I’ll give you a clean shirt. No funny business, I promise”

You hated yourself for this, but you followed him upstairs to his room, like a pray falling right into the hunter’s trap. He closed the door behind him, muting the loud music and you sat on his bed that you were so familiar with. Looking through his closet, he passed you one of his t-shirts, and turned around to let you change with some privacy. It was comical how chivalrous he was acting, considering the unspeakable things you’ve done in here.

“Not like you’ll see something you haven’t seen already”, you murmured and he chuckled, raising his hands.

“Hey, I’m a gentleman. It’s my fault, after all. I have a habit of getting you wet.”

Blushing at his comment, you quickly changed into the clean shirt and felt the bed dip next to you. You thanked him under your breath and started getting up, when you felt him hold you back once again.

“Stay, just a moment. I’ve missed you”

“What do you want?”

“You, baby”

Yuta was the one who said it, but you swore you felt Jaehyun’s voice reverberating through the nickname. Suddenly, it felt like there was no air for you to breathe.

“That’s not happening, Yuta. I’m with Jaehyun now”

He scoffed, “Jaehyun? Naeun’s puppy? Come on now, we both know you can do better than that”

“Don’t talk about him like that”, you bite back, but he doesn’t budge.

“What kind of boyfriend leaves his girl alone in a party like this?” He grips your chin, making you stare at him face to face, impossibly close. “Look at you. Every single guy in this party wants to fuck you. You expect me to be ok with this?”

Yuta lets his other hand glide on your knee, moving up to your thigh slowly. He smiled at how easy it was to focus on him.

“Do you remember how I made you feel? How I reminded you that you’re mine? You were moaning so loud, Mark thought you’d pass out. You loved it.”

You wanted to scream, tell him that this was the past you, that you couldn’t take going back to him once again and get your heart broken one more time, but you felt helpless around him. The warm feeling was only temporary, it would soon evaporate when you face the fact that to him, you are nothing but a play toy, a possession.

And that’s when Jaehyun barged in through the door. His eyes moved frantically from Yuta’s hands on your thighs, to his band tee you wore, to your discarded top on the floor. He quickly turned red, the color spreading from his neck to his face, then landing on his ears.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?”

You instantly got up, following his thought sequence.

“It’s not what it looks like! He spilled his drink on me and gave me a clean shirt and..and..”

“And you decided to sit on his lap to thank him?”, he mocked you and Yuta laughed.

“Calm down, dude. I didn’t make her do anything. Besides, it’s not the first time y/n found her way over here after some disappointing dick”

Jaehyun grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up from the bed, forcing him to stand and face him. You moved between the two, trying to stop the catastrophe that was about to happen. Jae might have more muscle power than Yuta, but if the whole frat ganged up on him he would have to leave this place in a stretcher.

“Jaehyun please, let’s just go. Baby, please”

The nickname was the only thing that brought him out of his rage and made him listen to you. He let go of Yuta and took your hand, dragging you out of the room.

You were two hallways down when you pulled away, forcing him to stop.

“Why did you have to get so mad?”

“Why the fuck did you go back to him?”

“I didn’t! It was just.. so hard for me to tell him no”

You felt your eyes water with how pathetic you sounded. Jaehyun rubbed his hands over his face, groaning in frustration.

“Don’t you understand how much it fucking hurts? To see you with that guy that treats you like shit when I’m right here, willing to give you everything? When I’m in love with you?”

You couldn’t process what he said because in a moment, his mouth was on yours. The kiss was so different than the one you shared at the hallway of your campus. It was passionate, it was rough, and this time, he monopolized your attention. His lips were determined to bruise into yours, leaving you breathless and causing your back to fall against a wall. It was crowded around you, eyes prying into your intimate moment but to you, the only person around was Jaehyun.

“You smell like him”, he growled, sucking on the tender spot under your ear, “makes me wanna fuck his scent off of you”

That was all you needed to hear. You led him to the frat’s guest room, knowing that Taeil always kept a spare key in the lamp next to the door. Unlocking the door seemed like a tour de force with Jaehyun leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck, but you finally managed to stumble inside. You locked the door behind you, continuing your heated kiss, hands roaming around each other’s body.

He was taller than you, so when you felt him grab your ass with such eagerness, you almost lifted off the ground. You palmed him through his jeans, the roughness of his hard on making your panties stick from wetness just a bit more.

“I want to taste you” you managed through kisses, but he just unzipped your skirt as a response, pulling it to the floor in one hasty move. Petting your clit through your underwear, a shiver ran down your spine, spreading goosebumps all over your arms and legs.

“I don’t think I have the patience for that”

He walked you backwards towards the guest bed, taking his pants and shirt off along the way. You sat on the edge of it and admired his godly proportions, when you took notice of the bruises and scratches that led to your fight on Saturday. Suddenly feeling the need to slow down, you started leaving kisses over each and every one of them. You wanted him to trust you, give in to you completely. He had his flaws just like he said, but you wanted all of him. And you wanted him now.

“I need you, now”, you voiced your thoughts and helped him take off his boxers, revealing his hard cock. He was thick and decently long, making your mouth water and your pussy clench.

Towering on top of you, he removed your panties that were embarrassingly damp at this point, and by his smirk, you knew he noticed.

Jaehyun bent your legs next to your torso, making you expose all of you. He licked his lips as he dove into your lower ones, muttering praises about your “pretty pussy”, turning you impossibly wet.

Jung Jaehyun never disappoints, you thought, because the moment you felt the first lap over your sensitive bud, you got a taste of heaven. He alternated between licking and sucking over the spot that turned you into putty against him. You were already unbearably turned on at this point, and the changing pace of his tongue made you lose your mind.

Your pants and moans only seemed to urge him on, and after a few minutes of his careful treatment you felt yourself getting close. He must have sensed it, because when you grabbed the bedpost in an effort to stop shaking, he stood on his knees, and reached for a condom in his wallet.

You didn’t have time to complain about the denial of your orgasm, and started taking Yuta’s shirt off, when he grabbed your hands and placed them back on their previous position on the headboard.

“Don’t”, he said sternly as he lined himself up your entrance, “I want to fuck you in his shirt”

There was no time to think about whether his request was healthy or not, because when you felt him stretch you out, the only thing on your mind was him and his dick.

You let out a deep moan and he took it as a sign to screw himself deeper inside you. Your pussy gushed uncontrollably, filling the room with the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. You unlaced your fingers and ran them down his back, ghosting them over the dimples that had affected you so much.

Jaehyun lowered himself, letting his chest touch yours, and you could feel his abs contracting over the fabric of Yuta’s shirt.

“I bet he’s never eaten you out like that, yeah?”

“N-no, never, ahh”

He sat up again, putting your legs over his shoulders and lifted your butt off the mattress, gripping your hips to steady himself before continuing his incredible pace.

“You’re mine, aren’t you baby? Mine to give you everything.”

The position felt divine. He was hitting it incredibly deep, reaching the spot that had you moaning so loud you were thankful for the unbearably loud music of the party. You were sure his fingers would leave a mark over your hipbones but you didn’t care, the pain only accentuating the warm feeling in your belly.

“J-Jae don’t stop - fuck don’t stop I’m gonna cum”

He leaned over, grabbing your face that was contorting in pleasure.

“Look at me when you cum for me”, he demanded, and when you rolled your eyes behind your head, letting go, he let out his first moan for the night.

He kissed your lips sweetly, helping you ride out your high.

“You’re so beautiful, my baby. So, so beautiful”, he praised and you submitted fully to him. He turned your body around, positioning you in all fours, and you wondered where the gentle boy you met at Johnny’s house went. His dick buried in you once again, spreading your juices around and the sensitivity of your previous orgasm made you aware of every single inch.

“So fucking tight”

Jaehyun didn’t go easy on you. He saw how much you liked it, how you were pushing your ass against his cock. He pounded in and out of you with the intention of fucking your thoughts out, and that’s just what he did. When the feeling got too much, and making any sort of noise seemed like a feat, you felt him push your hair back, and start biting on your neck, most definitely leaving a mark.

“I’m gonna cum. Fuck, I’m gonna cum”, he muttered, his voice wavering and you felt him release in the condom inside you.

It took a while for the both of you to regain your breaths. Jaehyun’s chest was heaving up and down as you rest your head on top of it, not brave enough to break the silence.

“I’m sorry”, he finally said and started petting your hair lovingly.

“About what?”

The bed was foreign and small but you both stayed still, wanting to bask a little more in the peacefulness of the moment.

“About getting so possessive, and saying all these things out of jealousy. I acted just like him..”

You kissed his left peck, listening to his heart that was starting to beat in a faster pace.

“Jaehyun, you’re nothing like Yuta. I get how you felt, I feel the same way when I think about you with Naeun”

He took your hand that was resting on his abs and planted a kiss on your palm. Your heart did a flip and you were pressed so close together, he sure must have felt it.

“I should have told you about her sooner. About the fights and how I let her go because of you. I was in denial about my feelings for you because-“

He stopped mid sentence, wary of the way his words would come off to you. Jaehyun was a proud man, but he opened up his heart tonight, admitting he was in love with you. He had already exposed so much of himself that you gave him the time he needed to organize his thoughts.

“Because I was insecure. That you would never like someone like me. That Naeun was right. That you were only interested in playing pretend with me and didn’t mean any of the things you said, and I let myself get carried away in a lie”

You and Jaehyun were two lost souls, trying to break free from the constraints your insecurities built up for you. You didn’t have to succumb to your masochistic tendencies anymore, wasting your time in heartless lovers because now you found him and he found you. Both unable to see any value in themselves, but more that willing to treasure the other. And that was enough for you.

“I’d be honored to be loved by someone like you. Baby.”

[yslkook]

WRONG (3)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: you find yourself at the tattoo parlor more often as of late. also, jungkook hates lemon jelly filled donuts and is easily bribed by mint chocolate and macarons. pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc warnings: cursing, excessive use of pet names, kinda toxic friendship

Sora’s unbridled passion for why she believes Jungkook is wrong for you has never irritated you as much as it does in this moment. You’ll never understand why she’s so adamant about the topic, when it’s not her decision. When she knows that you’ve been harboring a small crush on the man for years now, and you’re fairly certain he returns your affections.

When the man told you that he had put an orange heart next to your name, you knew it was real.

You don’t understand why Sora is determined to make things so complicated, when they don’t have to be. You don’t believe her claims that he’s a fuckboy, that he treats people like trash. He’s shown you the opposite. He’s so gentle with everyone, not just you. He’s blunt but he has a big heart under all of the leather and layers of black.

If there’s a word to describe him, it’s dreamy.

Which is why you’re so hurt that Sora refuses to give him a chance. After all, if she was your best friend, shouldn’t she offer him a chance for your sake?

It confuses you.

“I’ve heard so many bad things about him,” Sora says knowingly, swirling her glass of wine in her hands. You don’t feel very much like drinking, not when your stomach swirls in unease. Being in her apartment is nothing new, but right now, you’d rather be anywhere else.

“But what things? And from who? Jungkook is such a genuine guy and he hasn’t done anything for people to start rumors about him,” You protest, but your words fall on deaf ears, “And I like him-”

“I mean come on, have you seen him? The man radiates bad vibes. My friends have all said-”

“Bad vibes? You’re dismissing him because of bad vibes when I’m telling you that-”

“I’m your best friend, don’t you think I know these things?” Sora says, heat and arrogance in her voice, “I’m only looking out for you. It’s shitty that you’re dismissing me for a guy-”

“I’m not dismissing you-” But your voice grows smaller and smaller, something that you think Jungkook might be disappointed in you for.

“It sure as hell sounds like you are,” Sora sneers with a cold sort of tilt to her lips, “Listen. I’m just looking out for you, even if you don’t seem to appreciate it. I thought we were best friends. Friends look out for each other, but if you don’t want to listen to me, that’s on you.”

Something dry settles in your throat and something heavy settles in your chest.

“He’s not good news,” Sora continues, as if she can’t see your heart beginning to ache, “I’ll find someone who will treat you much better, don’t worry.” She pats your knee in a way that is supposed to be reassuring but you wince.

You don’t want her favors, but it’s too late for you to protest. Besides if you did, she’d feel awful and you never want to be the cause of her being upset. She’s your best friend after all. And what kind of friend would you be, if you upset her to that degree?

But still... you don’t want anyone else. You want the sensitive man who gets misty-eyed by powerful renditions of Beyonce songs, the man who texts you until you fall asleep, the man who asks you what color to paint his nails when he feels like it.

You kind of want the sensitive man dressed in layers of black.

You let Sora talk your ear off about all of the guys she has in mind for you, but you stop listening. You don’t understand this vendetta she has against Jungkook, the vendetta that she’s always had. But she is correct about one thing- she is your best friend and has your best interests at heart...right?

The four walls of the tattoo parlor that you’ve begun frequenting more and more often begins to feel more and more like a welcome place in recent days. You’ve always been friendly with the guys, especially Yoongi and Hoseok.

Even if Yoongi doesn’t work at the parlor, he’s here frequently enough.

Though Yoongi and Hoseok are some of your oldest friends, you’ve only come to the parlor a handful of times in the past. Once that realization hit you, you’d made it a point to stop by more often.

Why hadn’t you before?

They’re your oldest friends, but these days, you feel closer to Mina and Mei as well. While you do have other girlfriends who you see as often as your collective schedules align, it’s still different.

But still. You don’t know if you’ve ever truly belonged with anyone. You feel as if you’ve been floating through life, with Sora by your side (at least half the time, when she’s not spewing criticism over the man you have feelings for).

Thinking about it gives you a headache and makes you feel nostalgic for something that you never had. But maybe it’s something you can have.

“Hey, you,” Mei calls from reception, where she’s sitting next to Hobi who waves at you, “What brings you here? Finally gonna let me pierce you?”

“I brought donuts,” You shrug, “And I’m not ready for that surgical instrument to touch me, thanks very much.”

“You can stop by without the pretense of bringing sweet treats over,” Hobi says knowingly, “I mean none of us will complain about donuts, but you know that right? You can come by anytime you want.”

“O-okay,” You nod, your throat feeling a little dry.

“Now, come here and let me see what you got. If there’s a lemon jelly filled donut, save that for Jungkook. He hates them.”

“You got plans this evening?” Mei asks, grabbing her bright red purse that’s nearly the size of your head. Her purse matches her bright red nails and for half a second, you’re mesmerized by the glossiness of her nails.

“No, other than getting ready for tomorrow’s day of work-”

“Great! Wanna come with me to the tattoo supply store? I have to pick up more needles, grips and gloves.”

“Sure,” You shrug, a little excited at the prospect of a quick adventure for Mei, “I’ll just say bye to Hobi.”

He’s already watching you with mirth in his eyes, as if he knows what you’re about to say. “Hey, will you tell Jungkook I said hi?” You murmur, feeling your ears burning at his smug grin.

“Sure, I will,” Hobi grins, “I’m sure he feels bad about not being able to say hi to you himself. He’s had a busy day.”

“Understandable,” You nod, “I mean, you guys say he’s the best in the city, right? I’m sure he’s got a waitlist of people who want to be tatted by him.”

“Maybe someday he’ll tattoo you, huh?” He says mischievously to which you roll your eyes and feel your face heat up.

“He would be so lucky,” You scoff, as if the notion of Jungkook tattooing your body doesn’t make something flutter in your belly.

“We have this competition at the parlor where the person who makes the most tips has to buy the supplies on a monthly basis,” Mei says smugly, “Usually, it’s Kook but for the last few months it’s been me.”

That doesn’t surprise you in the least- Hobi has told you that Mei and Mina are both skilled in realistic and watercolor tattoos, as well as piercings. You think if you were ever to receive a tattoo from either Mei or Mina, you would tip them for the mere fact of them being so close in your presence for so long.

They used to intimidate you, when Hobi had first introduced you to them. Mina with her sleek bob haircut, and Mei with her long, glossy waves. Both of them had nose piercings and their ears were dotted in different hoops and rods. You’d only caught a glimpse of their tattoos a handful of times- Mei has a full sleeve on her right arm where Mina’s tattoos seem to be more hidden.

They’re just so cool and funny and smart.

“How did you all get the idea for the tattoo parlor? Like, was it a business decision or were you all friends before?” You ask curiously.

“Well… Jin, Mina and I have been friends since we were kids, our parents are really close. Jin had this dream of opening his own tattoo and piercing parlor for the longest time. Jungkook and Hobi joined a few months after we officially opened. It took a while, but we’re where we are now,” Mei says fondly.

“That’s incredible! You guys started from the ground up,” You say, in awe, “That parlor is your baby.”

“Fuck, yeah it is,” Mei grins, “What about you? What cool tech stuff is going on in that pretty brain of yours?”

“Um…” Your face heats up at the compliment, “I’m currently helping in developing this app for one of our clients, it’s specific for tracking and trending information related to chronic health conditions. It’s still in its infancy, but it’s been fun! And it’s job security, I guess.”

Mei lets out a low whistle, “Wow, you’re doing something like that by yourself?”

“No, I have a pretty great team,” You shrug, “Something like that definitely can’t be done alone.”

Mei hums, “You’re gonna be great, Ms. CEO.”

“Yeah right, I’d never want that burden,” You scoff, “I’m good right where I am.”

With both of your arms full of bags of supplies for the tattoo parlor (and some extras), you both walk out of the shop and towards Mei’s sleek, black car. It’s late, and you don’t really feel much like taking public transportation. But you’re nervous to ask Mei for a ride home for some reason.

“Hey, did you drive to the parlor?” Mei asks.

“N-no, I don’t have a car yet,” You reply, “I only just bought my condo and didn’t want to make another big purchase just yet. I want to start looking though…”

“Oh! I’ll drive you home then,” Mei offers once she starts the engine.

“Are you sure? It’s kind of out of the way from here,” You reply, folding in on yourself a little in the passenger seat.

Mei only waves you off. “Oh, please. What kind of friend would I be if I just left you to get home alone?”

You bite your tongue, as vivid memories of Sora claiming that she didn’t have enough gas in the tank or her asking for gas money for the ten minute drive from her apartment building to your condo flash in your mind.

“Thank you, Mei,” You say gratefully, “Let me know how much to Venmo you, for gas money-”

“Gas money? For a seven minute drive? Is that a joke,” Mei gasps, “What do you take me for?”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry I asked!”

“Asking me for gas money,” Mei mutters, “You said you want to start looking for a car?”

Her smile twists into something mischievous.

“Yeah, I have no idea where to start though…”

“Ask your boy, Jungkook. Taehyung, Namjoon and Jimin work at a car dealership and they’re his roommates, I’m sure he’d be eager to help you.” Something in her voice is coy but you maintain a neutral face.

“Yeah… maybe I will,” You say thoughtfully, “Hey! He’s not my boy-”

“Alright, alright,” Mei relents gently, “But really, reach out to him. He’ll help you. So that those boys don’t scam you like the sleazy car salesmen that they are.”

When you see Jungkook next at the tattoo parlor which is conveniently on your way home from work (again with a box of pastries), you muster the courage to step into his office to ask him for help.

“Hi,” You say weakly, “Umm… I come bearing gifts. Got some of those mint chocolate brownie bars that you like, and those macarons-”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to bribe me, baby,” Jungkook says, smirking widely when your lips part in protest.

“If I was trying to bribe you, it wouldn’t be with mint chocolate. Disgusting,” You roll your eyes and squeal out loud when he lunges for you, giving you a teasing but tight back hug.

“Take it back,” Jungkook murmurs lowly in your ear. You hardly hear him, too wrapped up in the warmth of the big black hoodie he’s wearing. The soft, gentle scent of laundry and vanilla floats into your nose when you turn your head to press your cheek against his chest.

His heartbeat is faint against your ear. You wonder if he can hear yours speeding up.

“Mint chocolate sucks. It’s a fact,” You mumble.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” His voice comes as a low grumble from his chest and you swallow nervously. Before your nerves can get the best of you, he changes the topic. “Mei told me you’re in the market for a new car?”

“I don’t really know where to start, but I’ve already started doing some research,” You reply, pointing to your small backpack. You pull out a binder with meticulously colored tabs labeled in neat print that Jungkook raises an eyebrow at.

“What?”

“You just carry around a binder with your research on car purchases at all times? Is that what you do?”

“I have to be prepared!”

“Sometimes you just need a vibe check-”

“You want me to purchase an entire vehicle worth about a million and one paychecks based on just a vibe check? Is that what you did with your motorcycle?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook gives you a crooked smile, “And a little research. I guess.”

“You guess,” You mutter under your breath.

Jungkook has been more touchy with you once you had given him the go ahead all those weeks ago. He doesn’t show his affections with you unless you’re both alone, and it’s never anything more than hugs and the occasional brush of hands.

He’s melting you from the outside in, and you bask in his radiant heat. The thought of Sora’s approval doesn’t bother you, not when he hugs you like this.

But as always. Her disapproving voice worms its way into your head and you reluctantly peel away from him to sit on the faded burgundy couch with the box of macarons on your lap.

“So,” Jungkook says, immediately feeling the loss of your warmth in his limbs, “How can I help?”

tags: @kookdbean

MoM tags: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe

[liquid-luck-00]

Internet Friends

@maribatmarch-2k21 Day 4: Internet Friends

~~~~~~~~~~

You know the internet is a magical place. You can connect with people all over the world in a matter of seconds. You know what isn’t magical, your best friend enrolling you in a ‘coffee seminar’. Like seriously Adrien I love you like a brother so what the hell. I’m busy enough as it is without giving up my Saturday morning on the only day I have free for months.

Sure my school and social life is a flaming pile of garbage thanks to a little liar manipulating almost everyone who was my friend. So why, but if anything this little online seminar may just be the thing I need.

Okay not what I needed. The coffee seminar was apparently a coffee intervention workshop. Big surprise there, what was a welcome surprise was I wasn’t the youngest person there. Through out the entirety of the web seminar they sent private messages back and forth completely ignoring the speaker, only adding in when asked. Buy the end they decided to share emails, and that was how Marinette found herself a, hopefully, friend and at the very least a partner in caffeinated crimes.

She would mainly email Tim rants about school and the akuma. He at first tried to see how open she was to help, from the JLA, to come in and help the Parisian heroes. But she shut that down quickly by explaining how the villains powers work and how many of the heroes tend to be emotional when they fight even if they don’t show it.

He in turn ranted about his brothers and how they tried to hide his coffee and the stress of his work. Which sparked the conversation of what he did. Sure she was surprised when she found out her new friend was Tim Drake-Wayne so she decided to let him into her being MDC after he couldn’t find the designer and that he wanted a commission for a gala in a few months.

They ended up, either video chatting or messaging often to rant or brainstorm for their respective projects. Or just send each other dumb photos or memes to brighten the others’ day.

---

Mari doesn't know how this came to be but it did. She was walking along the second floor railing. She was going to meet Tim face-to-face as he was going to pick her up from school to do a fitting before sending out his suit.

He had messaged her that he was in front of the school. So she said to meet her in the court yard. To her dismay her classmates formed a half circle pinning her back to the railing.

"Seriously Mari, why would you do that?!" Alya screamed at her the eyes of the entire school and of a black haired blue eyed boy, now on their group.

"Do what exactly?" she questioned adjusting the straps of her backpack.

"I can't *sniff* believe you don't *sniff* remember, Mari. It was so mean *sniff*." Lila choked out burrowing her face into Kim's sweater, who looked disgusted with her.

"One, I still don't know what I supposedly did. And two, only my friends call me, Mari, and you aren't on that list." she turned to leave but they closed in on her. Unfortunately, Adrien and Kagami left earlier for a tournament. Luka was out of the country as was Chloe, so she didn't have anyone to break her out.

"You two aren't, but we are!" Alya shouted motioning to herself and the others In the class.

"We haven't been friends for years," she thought, unfortunately she said it out loud.

"What?!?" was chorused by the entire class.

So she took a breath. "There are only two people I consider friends within our class, both of which are not here. Why are you all surprised?" A tilt of her head and a perfect look of innocence crossed her features. "You all claim I'm a bully, why be friends with bullies. I'm just ripping off the band aid you are all to scared to touch."

"You're lying they are still your friends can't you see that!" Lila stopped sniffling and came to the class' defense.

"Really. I want them to think and think hard of the last time any of them sought me out to talk or hangout. Not tell me or accuse me of something, or demand clothes or sweets." They were all silent dead in thought. "The reason you can't is because it hasn't happened since Lycee."

"That's not true Mari, we are your friends," Rose piped in softly.

"DC we've been friends forever, this isn’t like you." Kim pleaded.

"Ya we were friends for a long time, so you should know I hate liars and I never lie." Everyone seemed to register her words.

"Oh get over yourself!" Lila snapped pushing her backwards.

The bad part, she was already on the edge so she was falling from the second floor. Fortunately for her, her time as ladybug along with being a gymnast since she could stand, her body reacted, her mind catching up a moment later. She grabbed a sprinkler pipe and turned a few times, held herself upside down and then swung again. Letting the bar go twisting in the air and shifting her backpack. Everyone on the first floor scattered to the edges of the courtyard to give her space to land without obstacles. As she finishes in a rollout to protect herself and her backpack now clutched to her chest.

"What was that!?" Lila screamed gripping the balcony railing, her facade completely dropped. Everyone else stood shocked silent, frozen in place, until one black haired blue eyed boy stormed up to the bluenette.

"Mari I swear the first time we meet up and you do that. God I am never going to leave you with Dick." Tim stormed up to her. "You are going to give me a heart attack."

"Hey Tim," she chuckled in response.

"That said I am sending this to him."

"Go ahead. Coffee?"

"You know me too well," he grinned as they began to leave the still frozen, still silent school yard. "So what are you going to do about them?" he jabbed a finger behind them.

"Dunno how much did you record?" she pointed to the phone clearly in his hand still.

"Since the first scream, but audio is kinda off from that far."

"I got that part covered," she took out her phone from her jacket pocket. Now her class started to move so both coffee addicted teens started to record again in case of anything.

"Who is this Mari?" Nino genuinely asked.

"He is a friend, and he can use that name unlike any of you."

"Best friend actually."

"You will have to fight Adrien for that title." she teased.

"I got Gami's approval. I can take Sunshine on."

"That was an acknowledgment and we all know it."

"Why haven't we ever seen him before then?" Alya snipped.

"I'm not from Paris, much less from France, if the accent didn't give it away. I'm visiting on a trip with my father and wanted to stop by." The two just walked away after that.

Who would have guessed that being forced into a coffee intervention seminar would result in gaining one friend and loosing a class worth of dead weight. And oh did it feel good to walk away from that toxicity. Unfortunately she still has to finish this last year of school before University. At least she has people she knows will stand beside her. All thanks to the magic of the internet.

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @miraculouspenta @adrestar @vixen-uchiha

[vetrubius]

UKAIXFEMREADER!

Ukai responding to you saying  "c*m inside me"

Word Count: 1,408

A/N: hEMLOI moi babies, I got an amazing response on DaichixFemReader, I’m so glad so I kinddddd of decided to spice it up for Ukai. I, in no way support toxic relationships. And I wrote it extra long so y’all can feel extra ;)) i haven't proof read this bc its 4 am and im max tired, so i apologise in advance. ALSO DARK ACADEMIA PERSONNA IS JUST SO 😩

Warnings: SMUT, ANGST, toxic relationships, crying, trauma, smoking, alcohol, slight fluff (interact only if you’re 18+), breeding kink

It was like every other afternoon, you by the balcony watching the rain fall on the lane below. Single men with their cigarettes in hands, couples with their arms intertwined under the same umbrella, the cigarette shop where a group of high school boys hung around. The balcony had always been your safe space. It was one of the ways you’d met Keinshin Ukai. 

 You two had accidentally made an eye contact. You, on your balcony and him, near the shop. He’d adored you the second he’d laid his eyes on you; draped in a white lace tunic and grey shorts which reached your knees. The darkest shade of lipstick which you wore with your hair down, made you look as if you were an angel which arrived right in front of him. 

Since then, he’d be there promptly at 7 pm and you at the balcony having many unspoken conversations between the two of you.

You’d run out of cigarettes one morning while you were on your way to your publishing house.You’d always been an avid reader with bottomless thirst for content. It was a good day, you had a meeting with the board head. After putting on a jacket on your mauve camisole, you’d run across the cigarette shop to find your favourites. Had it not been that morning, your numbers would never have been exchanged and future dates wouldn’t have been made for the same evening. 

-----flashback-----

The room was heavy with the smell of cigarettes and weed as you popped another bottle of wine.

 “I did not take you to be a reader,” Ukai said, taking a puff and keenly maintaining eye contact. 

“And I sir, did not take you for a shopkeeper AND a coach” you said,  smirking and pouring in  his empty glass.

“Well, I do love those boys plus that teacher is very...persuasive?,” he said with a slight cringe and looking u0p. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s very amazing and managed to land us a match with a lot of great teams but he’s very weird, but a good kinda weird you know?”.

 Nah you didn’t know. You were too busy admiring him. Of course you were a little young for him but he was too attractive for his age. The blonde with his brown sideburns and three piercings. He looked so sinful. 

It dawned on him how you’d been staring at him. And he’d sensed the high tension in the room that was enough to devour the two of you. And that’s when he leaned in slightly, holding the side of your face in your hand. “I know you’ve been wanting me sweetheart. I do too,” he said  brushing his lips with yours. “And I think I may fall in love with you this way. The way you’re in my hands right now makes me feel like I'm on an ecstasy high.” 

Your lips met and kissed you like it was the last time he was gonna kiss you. Like you were Persephone in the arms of Hades and you were gonna fly away. 

You somehow knew. You knew this was it. You were gonna fall so hard for this man. This high felt like you’d finally reached what you wanted and you realised it was gonna hurt you if he ever left. 

-----Present-----

“BUT I’M TIRED OF NOT SEEING YOU FOR SO MANY DAYS, JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING WITH THE KIDS DOESN’T MEAN YOU DON’T SEE ME! 

AM THEY MORE IMPORTANT THAN I AM?” a sludge of tears and mascara flowing down your face with your bra strap sliding off your arm. It had been too frustrating for you. You’d been missing him to the point you’d wear his remaining scent. You’d stayed up nights wishing you’d hear the door unlock. It was too painful for you.And he refused to understand that. 

“You’re fucking overreacting. I’m leaving. I’ll come home after a few days.” he said  extinguishing his cigarette on the ivory ashtray you got for his 29th birthday and picking his gym bag up. 

“I HOPE YOU NEVER FUCKING COME BACK-” you shouted as he headed for the door. “I think…….. this is it. We’re done.” You said  slipping on the floor in a puddle of sobs. This was toxic. You had to leave him. But it was so heavy for you. You could never do that. He was your soulmate after all. 

You hear the door shut. 

Your fragile heart splits into pieces. Is that it? This is how we end? Your thoughts kept running as fast as a marathon, too fast for you to process. 

“It’s fine. I don’t need him anyway. You say  turning the lights off of the bathroom and slipping in the empty bathtub and shutting your eyes and being enveloped by sleep. 

.

.

.

You felt a hand pat on your head and a bright light in front of you. “Hey sweetheart…”

It didn’t even take a second for you to go on defensive mode and whack his hand off you.

“I miss you. I know what I do is wrong. I know I don’t give you time. I know how much this means to you. I’m sorry. Just a little  more, okay? Then I’ll be all yours and I’ll be proud to call the boys ours. I love you, Y/N. I can’t imagine my life witho-”

That’s all it takes for him everytime. Just opening his stupid mouth and you’re off to sprint to his arms. Fucking moron. 

“I still hate you” you said between the kisses and pulling his hoodie off. You wanted him. That’s all you cared about. You wanted to hurt him but no matter what, you couldn’t. “I hate that you make me feel this way. But I love you more and this is your last chance. Make me happy or I leave.”

He whooped you up in his arms and carried you to the bed “And why would I let you leave? You’re mine.” He said  keeping you and hovering on top of you with his biceps bulging. Amd slowly kissing your face, jaw and neck

“You’re the greatest thing that has happened to me, I’ll never let you go Y/N” Ukai said as his lips were dangerously close to your cleavage. 

He spent a good 30 minutes between your thighs like a lapdog. Licking up any blessing you had to offer. His eye contact never breaking, his fingers working their ways through your pussy, his tongue overstimulating your clit. “I know you like this, my love. It’s been twice in 35 minutes I think my dick needs a little bit of it too.” He said getting up and unbuckling himself. Your eyes now watery with the overstimulation and throat dried up. 

“I want a baby….I want a reason for you to come home to if not me.” You said rasply. 

‘What do you mean, sweets? Can you elaborate on the making baby part?”

“I want you to come inside me. Tonight.” 

He grabbed your thighs mercilessly and shoved himself inside. “Whatever she wants, she gets. I’m gonna fuck you until you’re dripping and then make sure that the mini us knows how much I love you and you’re worth coming home to both of you.” he whispered in your ear. 

He gave you a few seconds to adjust to him inside you. “M-mmmoveEE PLEASE” you whined against his shoulder. Without losing a single second, you felt your body split. You knew he’d been abstaining from sex. But this feeling was so overwhelming to both of you. 

The air was filled with moans, squelches and the mix of smell of cigarettes and lavender. You felt him speed up. Missionary had always been a weak spot for Keishin. Your mouth drooling over your cheeks, your eyes half shut, your body limping and the way your boobs bounced under you. it has always been a turn on for him. 

You felt him speed up. His name falling out of your mouth as you were blinded by the speed he was going at. “I….I’M COMING BABE” you grind your thighs through as his walls white wash you inside. 

He climbed off of you to adore your cunt stuffed with his cream, dripping on the white sheet with a light brown floral pattern. 

“I love you, Y/N. Don’t ever think I don’t wanna come home and not see you. You’re the only thing I have.”

series masterlist

[jaesqueso]

Not yours (m)

pairing: fuckboy!yuta x fem!reader

summary: the drug on you is Yuta

word count: 1,920

warnings: quite angst, unhealthy and toxic relationship, some violence, mentions of cheating, swearing, some smut, masturbation (fem), oral sex (giving), protected and unprotected sex (when in doubt don’t go without!)

a/n: well this came from an interesting place in my mind... anyway I do kinda feel bad for writing Yuta like this but he was the best fit for the part, do remember this a fanfiction, I’m not saying Yuta is this type of person! do give me some feedback please! ❤︎

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

You wake up in a bed that’s not yours, a room that’s not yours and an apartment that’s not yours. Nevertheless this isn’t an unfamiliar place to you as you’ve been finding yourself waking up here far too many times than you’d want to admit over the last ten months. The figure that once laid next to you is long gone much like every other morning.

You know it’s wrong, you know you shouldn’t fall for his charms that easily but you still do every single time. You don’t quite understand the power he has over you. You always tell yourself this will be the last time but you know it never is. Every text, every call, you know you won’t be able to resist and end up in his bed once again.

You get up and pick up your clothes from the floor putting them on. After gathering all your belongings you take yet another walk of shame back to your apartment. Your roommate looks at you in pity knowing exactly where you’re coming from. She tried to talk to you before, well all of your friends tried to convince you not to do this to yourself, and you know they mean well, you know they’re only looking out for you and you want to follow their advise, so bad, but you’re weak. You’re so weak when it comes to him.

You’ve tried to move on. Sometimes he would ghost you for weeks, so you tried going on dates with other people or having casual one night stands with strangers you met a few hours before, but while your body was there your mind always drifts off to him.

⭐︎

“Yuta!” You moaned as you came all over somebody’s dick. The male kept pounding into you until he released his seed inside the condom. He pulled out, taking off the rubber, and laid next to you.

“That was good.” You hummed against the pillow as he continued. “But you know that’s not my name right?”

“Sorry…” you lifted your head to look at his face. As much as you tried you could not remember what he said his name was because there was only one name on your mind.

“Hey, whatever gets you off.” He smiled and looked at you noticing you lost face. “It’s Lucas by the way.”

“Right… I-I should get going.” You got up starting to look for your clothes.

“You can stay for the night if you want, even if I’m not this Yuta guy.” He joked.

“Thanks, but I’d rather go home.” You’d rather not spend the night with anyone but Yuta actually. You couldn’t imagine finally waking up next to someone and not being him.

“Just tell me he’s not your boyfriend or your husband, I wouldn’t be proud to be a home wrecker”

“He’s not.” Yet, you thought, you would love nothing more than to call Yuta one of those names.

“Good to know. Do you want me to take you somewhere?” Lucas asked considering you got to his place from the club on his car.

“I’m good, my Uber is almost here.” You walked to the door with him following behind.

“Look Y/N, I had a good time.” he leaned against the door frame as you stepped outside.”If you ever want to forget about whatever his name was, I can try to make you remember mine instead.”

“Yeah.. Sure, thanks…” you said as you walk down the hallway of his building.

⭐︎

You go into the bathroom to take a shower. This was the worst part after these nights, having to wash Yuta’s smell off of you. As you clean your body you can almost feel the touch of his hands in every inch of you. You can’t help but take one of your hands between your legs mimicking his movements from last night. You think about him, his body against yours, his lips on your neck, his hand rubbing your clit as he fucked you hard against his bed. You quickly cum as the water from the shower runs down your body.

You finish cleaning up, change into some comfortable clothes and lay in your bed over the covers, starring at the ceiling. You wonder how many other girls Yuta’s fucking with. You wonder if he’s with any of them right now. Or maybe he went back to his hometown to spend some time with his actual girlfriend.You feel bad for her, she probably has no idea how much of a fuckboy her boyfriend is. Sometimes you think about finding out who she is so you could go to her and tell her everything, but then you think about him. As much as you want to end all of this and make things right you couldn’t get yourself to hurt him. Even if he sometimes hurts you.

⭐︎

“What the fuck was that?” Yuta pulled you out of the club by your arm.

“What are you talking about?” You tried to release your arm from his hold but this only makes him grip harder.

“Don’t play games with me!” He pulled you into an alley where nobody was around.

“Yuta stop!” You begged. “You’re hurting me!”

“Maybe you deserve it!” He pushes you against a wall. “I told you not to go around and flirt with other guys around the club like a fucking slut!”

“I wasn’t flirting, we were just talking Yuta…” you grunted trying to ignore the pain on your back.

“I didn’t know you had to have your hand on his chest to just fucking talk!” He was getting louder earning a few looks from the people passing on the street.

“I’m sorry Yuta…” you tried to reach him but he pushed your hand aside, so you took a deep breath and decided to fight back. “What about those two girls under your arms? Don’t talk about me when you were doing exactly the same thing-”

“Don’t you fucking challenge me!” He grabbed your neck with his strong hand against the wall as you gasp for air. He takes a deep breath and releases your neck. “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just don’t want other guys all over you, you’re mine.” And you believe him every single time. “C’mon, let’s go to my place, I’ll make you feel good.”

⭐︎

When you’re alone you always think about the bad moments, when he yells at you, when he’s rough with you, when he ghosts you, when you see him with other girls, when you wake up without him and when you remember he actually has a girlfriend. But when you’re with him all those memories fade and you can only think about how he kisses you, how he touches you, how he makes you feel good, how he makes you feel special and how he always says you’re his.

Your friends keep reminding you of how bad he treats you and how you deserve better but they don’t see the good things. You wanna believe Yuta is bad for you, like a drug you’re desperately trying to quit but when you’re high on it you just want to stay like that forever. You just want to stay with him forever.

⭐︎

“Come here baby.” He pulled you into his lap and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Did you miss me?”

“I always miss you.” It had been two weeks since he last called you and like a fool you came back running as soon as you got his text.

“You know I missed you too, right?” He caressed your thighs pulling up your skirt.

“Why didn’t you call me then?” You ran your hands through his hair.

“I���ve been busy.” He started kissing your neck.

“Doing what?” You just wanted answers you knew you’d never get.

“I told you,” he sighed, “Don’t ask me about my business. Now don’t ruin the mood, I’m trying to do something here.” One of his hands moved between your legs touching you through your underwear. “Didn’t you miss me here?”

“S-So much…” You stuttered as he moved your underwear to the side running his finger between your folds.

“I can tell, you’re already so wet.” He dipped a finger inside you. “Do you see how easily it slides in?” You held your skirt over your stomach and looked down watching him fingering you as he adds one more digit. “Is this all for me? Am I the only who makes you this wet? The one who makes you feel real good?” You nodded biting your lip. “Words baby.”

“Yes Yuta!” You moaned.

“That’s it baby, scream my name, let them all know.” He took his thumb to your clit increasing the heat inside you. You reached down to his crotch caressing his length.

“Can I suck you?” You asked between moans.

“Anything you want baby.” He said removing his fingers from you.

‘I want you to love me. I want you to leave your girlfriend and all those others girls and stay only with me.’ That’s what you wanted to say. But instead you kept your mouth shut and removed his pants and boxers. He took off his shirt as you started pumping his member. You dropped some saliva on his tip swirling your tongue to spread it before you replaced your hand with your mouth. He moved a hand to your hair helping you bob your head and controlling the rhythm.

Not wanting to cum in your mouth he lifted your head and manhandled you so that you were laying face down, taking off your clothes on the way. He closed your legs, hovering you, and placed his own on each side. Lifting your hips up a bit he strokes your folds with the tip of his cock before slowly entering your wet hole. He speeded up his movements hitting you deeper and harder each time. You were a moaning mess gripping on his sheets as you got closer to your orgasm. He spanked your butt a few times and soon after you were clenching around his hardness as you came moaning his name. Not longer after, Yuta felt his own orgasm close so he removed his dick pumping it as he came all over your ass.

He laid down next to you pulling your head to his chest. He caressed your hair and kissed your forehead. This right here. This is how you wanted to stay with him. Forever.

But this was a lie and you knew it.

⭐︎

Again almost two weeks passed since you last saw him. Maybe this is it. Maybe this time you’ll be strong enough to not go back to him, not to fall for his lies. Maybe this time you’ll finally be able to  move on and find someone who truly loves you, only you, someone who respects you. You make up your mind. That is until you phone buzzes.

Yuta: come over

Yuta: I miss you

You look at the screen for a few seconds. You can’t go. Not now that you decided it was over. It’s time for you to take ownership of your life and stop playing by his rules. It’s time to set yourself free.

You: I’m on my way

But like a junkie you relapse. You tell yourself this will definitely be the last time. But will it ever?

Yuta: that’s my girl

Yes, you are his. But deep down you know he’ll never be yours.

[milkbread420]

do you think you could write something(hc, drabble, etc 😂 take your pick) where one of the boys(kuroo or suna(idk if you write for suna) where the reader is “heather”. like the boys have girl best friend that likes them but the boys have a crush on the reader...yk? let’s flip the switch 👀 but only if you want to, no pressure.

Pairings: Kuroo x f!reader, Suna x f!reader

I kinda got carried away and just did all of the above bc I couldn’t pick but I hope this is what you were looking for! :)

(Also sorry this took a while, I’m a little busy, I hope you didn’t think I was ignoring you hwbxjowsgoih)

Warnings: Swearing, angst??

Kuroo

Kuroo talks about you all the time

Like so much, that she’s told him to shut up more than a few times.

When she does, he teases her about being jealous.

Little does he know

He has her talk to you, and makes her tell him everything just so he can find out little things about you here and there.

That’s how he’s learned your favorite color, your favorite food, and some of your hobbies.

He would smile and blush as she talked about her conversations with you

Every time she’d die a little inside.

He asks her for advice almost every chance he gets

Definitely cancels his plans with her just to spend more time with you

She wants to hate you so bad

Like so bad

But you’re just so perfect and kind, he absolutely adores you, and she swears that you were made for him.

You even laugh at all of his terrible chemistry jokes.

She used to be the only one.

He always takes her out to buy little gifts for you because he needs “a girl’s input” on what would be a good gift.

“Maybe buy me a gift,”

Girly really hoped you were a passing fad

Secretly hoped you’d reject him and he’d realize that she was the one for him

Life is not ‘You Belong With Me’ by Taylor Swift :

All her hopes are crushed when she sees him kissing you after a game in front of all his teammates

Kenma: Yikes

“Did you see how pretty she looked today?” Kuroo sighed, letting his body collapse onto his bed. The girl sitting upright beside him nodded stiffly, “She’s like an angel or something,” his lips curved upward into a smile, “I can’t believe someone like her even looks in my direction,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “She’s fucking perfect,” “Shut up for a second,” the girl snapped. Kuroo’s eyes shot open and he dragged himself up into a sitting position, “Sorry, it’s just, she’s all you ever talk about anymore, I want to talk about other things to ya’ know,” she huffed, folding her arms over her chest. 

Kuroo quirked a brow, sending her a devilish smirk, “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you,” he joked, a boisterous laugh escaping him; she frowned, “Aw come on, I’m just messing with ya’,” She knew that, but without even realizing, he’d struck a chord that shouldn’t have been played, “You think you could do me a solid?”

“Not a liquid or a gas?” She giggled. 

Kuroo laughed for just a second, “I’m serious,” he said. She swore he could have heard the shattering of her heart, the Kuroo she knew would never brush off a good science pun; he really did like you. 

She swallowed hard, “Yeah what’s up?”

“Well I was thinking you could talk to her for me, you know? Girl to girl or some shit?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck, “It’s just I get all stupid around her, so I was hoping you could help me out,”

“Sure,” The girl replied before he could even really think about it. How pathetic. She thought. 

“Thanks, I owe you one,” Kuroo sighed, “How about I set you up with one of the first years on my team?” he smirked, standing up and walking out of his room; she followed close behind, “Have your pick, I’ll put in a good word,” by the time he finished talking, they were standing right next his front door. The girl shot him an inquisitive look, “I told her I’d call her around this time,” he said.

“Oh!” she understood, “Got it! Well, have fun!” he wanted her to leave.  “I most certainly will,” he smiled, waving her off as she opened the door for herself.

“See you tomorrow then,”

“Yep,”

-

“Excuse me, y/n?” the girl tapped your shoulder and you stopped in your tracks, turning to face her, “I’m sorry to bother you on your walk home, it’s just, I was wondering if we could talk? Like get to know each other,” you recognized her from how much time she spent with Kuroo. They were friends, and you knew that, so you jumped at the opportunity to get acquainted with one of his friends.

“Of course!” You said with a kind smile that she was certain you couldn’t have faked, “It would be an honor actually!” you continued, making her want to rip your throat out, but also thank you profusely; she opted for neither, “You’re so cool and collected around Kuroo, I’m a little jealous,” she admitted. If only you knew, she thought to herself. “I wish I could be that way too, but i just get all flustered and red whenever he’s around me,” 

She forced a smile onto her face, “Well I’ve known him long enough not to be flustered anymore,” her eyes fell and she recalled all the times he’d made the butterflies in her stomach flutter like nobody’s business.

You giggled and nodded, “You’re so pretty, too!” 

The girl almost stopped dead in her tracks, “Thank you,” but you’re perfect.

You smiled and nodded.

-

“Hey,” Kuroo said, turning around in his desk to look at the girl, “Do you wanna go to the mall with me after school?” She stared blankly for a moment, thinking this might be everything that she’d been waiting for, “It’s y/n’s birthday next week, and I wanna get her something nice,” he said with a lovestruck smile that wasn’t for her. 

“Oh!” she nodded, “Yeah, sure!” 

“Cool,” Kuroo gave her a thumbs up, “I could use some advice, I don’t really know what girls like,” he shrugged, “Meet me in the schoolyard after our last class,” the girl nodded and he turned back around. She cursed herself for even thinking it could be about her.

After the last bell rang, she stood and waited for him in the schoolyard, more than a little disgruntled by the fact that he was nowhere in sight. She checked the time. It had already been ten minutes since the last class. 

“Sorry!” she heard a him holler as he ran towards her, “y/n didn’t have enough for a water at the vending machine, so I went to buy her one from the cafeteria,” he said, panting as he caught his breath. 

“It’s fine,” she said, looking down.

Kuroo hesitated, “You okay?” 

She smiled, “Yeah,”

“Look, I’ll make it up you okay?” he sighed. Her heart beat faster for just a moment, “I’ll bring you a piece of the cake you like from that bakery,” a smile graced her features, I’m going with y/n tomorrow,” she should have known better. 

“You don’t have to,” she shook her head, hoping he’d tell her that he wanted to.

“Suit yourself,” he shrugged and started walking. 

She stood there for a moment, collecting the pieces of her heart.

-

“You did great, Kuroo!” the girl said, smiling as the boy chuckled, just barely turning his head to look at her. 

“We all did great,” he said, brushing some hair out of his face and turning back to high five his teammates. She smiled and stood there idly as he chattered and messed around with his team. 

“Kuroo!” she heard a voice that had become all too familiar, and she immediately noticed the way his ears perked up at the sound of it, his whole body jerking around in the direction it came from; he smiled when he saw you, “You were amazing!” you said, grinning from ear to ear, “You’re so talented!” 

He took one of your hands in his, “Thank you,” he smiled, his other hand brushing over your cheek, “I’m glad you could make it,” 

The girl watched, fighting back a scorn. 

She made it to every single game what the hell was just one in comparison? 

The difference, she concluded, was that she simply was not you. 

“Hey, who’s the hottie and why have you been hiding her from us?” Yamamoto complained, wiping sweat from his forehead as he shot you a charming smile.

“This is my-” Kuroo coughed, and the girl was almost sick right then and there. Even if just by mistake, he was about to call you his girlfriend, “This is y/n,” he said, wrapping his arm around your waist, “And don’t get any ideas,” he huffed. You giggled and flung your arms around him. For a moment he looked taken aback and the girl silently prayed he’d shove you away, but instead, his slender fingers made their way beneath your chin, tilting your head upwards ever so slightly. Your face was red and his was just a few centimeters away from it. 

The girl turned away as he kissed you. 

It was soft and innocent and filled with so much love she could be sick. His eyes were closed gently, so were yours, and you both looked like you’d found water in the middle of a desert. She wondered how long he’d been waiting to do that, how long he’d wanted to kiss you instead of her. 

Kenma blinked, “y/n what is he bribing you with?”

“Nothing,” you laughed, “I really like him, that’s all,”

Kuroo smirked, “I really like you too miss y/n,”

“Gross,” 

Kenma took the words right out of her mouth. 

___

Suna

When Suna first started talking about you, he didn’t use a name so she thought he was talking about her.

Then he was like “yeah y/n is really something.” 

Girl became hella toxic after that

He kinda stops talking about you, because when he does, she’s really mean 

Has the AUDACITY to call you toxic

Knows deep down that you’re everything he’s ever wanted and genuinely feels happy for him, but will never say it.

She hates you and she wants you to know it 

B word

He always defends you whenever she’s rude which totally pisses her off even more

At one point, mans gets sick and tired of her shit and tells her she can either act like a decent human being or find a new best friend

Girly shut up after that

Reluctantly

He definitely knows that she likes him and he highkey uses it to his advantage because he knows she’d do pretty much anything for him

Including driving you down to one of his away games when you’re out of money for the train.

It’s a very awkward ride. 

She’s listening to some shit music

Will not hand you the AUX

He’s really touchy with you after that particular game and she just knows he’s about to do something that’s gonna tick her off 

Atsumu also knows she likes him and he’s just like “Lmao, sucks,” cause he also knows the man is about to ask you to be his girlfriend.  

When you hold Suna’s hand and he smiles she loses her marbles. 

She knows he’s not one for PDA, so when he doesn’t brush you off, it makes her absolutely furious.

He drags you away to a more secluded place

Girl almost screams when she realizes he’s kissing you.

ATSUMU SAYS SOME DUMB SHIT TO HER I JUST KNOW IT 

“She’s really a great person,” Suna said, writing in the answers to his homework as he sat with his friend in the school’s library, “She’s smart, and nice, and she’s really pretty,” he continued to move his pen and the girl next to him blushed.

“Really?” she asked, smiling as she got her hopes up, almost certain that he was about to confess his love for her.

“Yeah,” he said simply, “Her name’s y/n, she’s in our english class,” 

Her face fell and she swore her heart stopped, “y/n, huh?” she sighed, resting her chin in the palm of her hand, “Never heard of her,”

“That’s too bad,” he said, his eyes not leaving the paper, “She’s really amazing,” 

You must have been something if you had Suna praising you so highly. The thought in and of itself made her blood boil with jealousy.

“So do you like, have a crush on her?” she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to know, but her curiosity prevailed. 

“Yeah,” he said, nodding softly, finally looking up from his homework. 

She nodded and bit the inside of her cheek.

God did she wish she knew who you were, just so she could make your life a living hell. 

-

“Your mascara smudged,” the girl said, rather loud as she tapped your shoulder from the desk behind you, “You should fix it,” 

“Oh!”you turned around, face red from embarrassment, “Um, thanks,” Her voice had alerted some of your other classmates as well, making their heads turn towards you. 

Suna scowled at his friend as she smiled fakely at you, “It’s okay, y/n, you look fine,” he said, his eyes not moving from the girl. She shrugged and looked down at the assignment on her desk. She heard Suna whisper something to you, but she couldn’t make out what it was, but you giggled. Her fist balled up and she almost snapped the pencil in her hand. 

After class he left the room without her, walking with you by his side instead. She frowned and jogged to catch up to the two of you, forcing her way in between you and Suna. He sighed to himself.

“Suna!” she said with a pout, “You didn’t wait for me after class!” 

He nodded, “I was gonna walk y/n to her next class,” the girl frowned and then looked over at you, “She’s a big girl, she can walk by herself!” you tilted your head, unable to tell whether or not she was joking. 

“You can go Suna, I’m sorry if you felt like you had to or something,” you said, nervously fiddling with your fingers. 

“No,” he said waving a hand in front of him, “It’s okay, I enjoy our time together,” the girl grimaced as you smiled at him and he smiled back. 

-

“So how’s y/n?” the girl asked in a venomous tone, looking over at Suna from the other side of her living room sofa. 

He shrugged, “She’s good,” the boy visibly tried to retain a smile as he answered. 

“Oh what? All of a sudden you don’t wanna talk about her?” she asked, irritated by the shortness of his reply. She should have been happy, glad even that he had finally shut up about you, but she couldn’t help herself from being just a little disappointed that she couldn’t hear any more of his voice. You were all he wanted to talk about after all. 

“I don’t feel like listening to you complain about her,” he said, glancing down at his phone and smiling. You must have been messaging him.  

The girl folded her arms, “Not my fault she’s ruining our friendship,” she mumbled and looked away. 

Suna looked up with confused expression, “She’s ruining our friendship?” he asked with a raised brow, “You’re the one sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong,”

She scoffed, “See! She’s got you wrapped around your finger, right where she. wants you! Wake up Rintaro! She’s a manipulative bitch! How many times did you willingly go out to the movies or to the mall before you met her?” 

“It’s Suna,” he said in no particular manor, “And join the hurdling team if you’re gonna jump to conclusions,” he grumbled, grabbing his jacket before heading towards her front door, 

“Wait!” she hollered.

“What?” he replied, looking bored as ever. 

“Look, I’ll stop being so mean to her, okay?” she rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest.

“Okay.” he said simply, letting himself out. The girl wanted to beg him to stay, or even better, she wanted him to want to stay, all on his own with no encouragement from her; but as long as she wasn’t you, it would never be that way. 

-

The girl’s phone rang, just as she was about to leave her house and head to the gym across town where Suna would be playing that afternoon. She let out a disgruntled sigh as she reached for her back pocket, clicking the ‘answer’ button.

“Hey,” it was his voice on the other end, “You’re coming to the game right?” A smile spread across her lips and she silently cheered; that must mean he wanted her there, “Hello?” 

“Sorry!” she said, “Yeah, I’m just about to leave, I’ll be there in like twenty minutes,” 

“Oh good,” he mumbled, she nodded as if he could see her, “you haven’t left yet,” 

A horrible feeling brewed in the pit of her chest, “No,” she really didn’t want to ask, “why?”

She could hear his smile through the phone, “y/n’s out of money for the train I was calling to ask if you could bring her,” 

Of course.

“Of course,” she said through her teeth, feigning a cheerful tone, “Send me her address,” 

“I just did,” he said.

“Great!” she replied.

“Thanks,” he sighed, “I really want her here,” 

“Of course,” 

Of course.

It wasn’t her he was looking forward to having cheer him on, it wasn’t her hand he wanted to hold, and it wasn’t her who has stolen his heart, like some thief in the night. 

It was you. 

The girl arrived at your house around five minutes after the call, she honked a few times to get your attention; she couldn’t have been bothered to go knock, step into the house where you’d probably made out with her best friend a million times. 

You tapped lightly on her window to get her attention. She shook herself and unlocked the door, “Thank you so much!” you said as soon as you sat down, “I’m so sorry, I feel so bad making you go out of your way, but thank you, really,”

In truth, her house was actually on the way to the stadium, “Yeah, just don’t expect it to be a routine thing,” 

You nodded, “Of course not!” she flashed you a forced smile then turned on the radio. It was some music by an artist you absolutely hated, and she was quick to notice the momentary flash of disdain on your face. 

“Do you not like this?” she asked though the answer was quite obvious.

You shook your head politely, “No, it’s alright!” she grinned almost evilly and turned up the volume. 

After the game, you and the girl stood together awkwardly, both of you waiting for the same boy to come out of the gym.  The doors opened a few moments later and the first person to appear was not Suna, but Atsumu Miya, “Suna, your fanclub’s here,” he chuckled as he continued walking, discreetly tugging the girl’s arm as he brushed past her.

“Hey-!” “Shut up for a second wouldja’?” he said lowly, looking back as Suna approached you, “I know yer’ gonna try some dumb shit, and this is important to Suna, so I needja’ to lay off,” he said. 

She frowned, “What are you talking about?”

“He’s gonna make it official with y/n,” he rolled his eyes at how oblivious she was, “jeez are ya’ stupid?” 

“He didn’t tell me,” she said with a scowl, “Let me go Atsumu I need to-”

The girl struggled in his grip, but his strength prevailed, “I don’t think so,” he said with a raised brow, “you’ve been causin’ nothin’ but trouble for them,” the setter explained, “so I ain’t lettin’ ‘ya go ‘till he’s done what he wants to do,” 

She peeked over the setter’s shoulder and watched as  your face turned a dark crimson, one of your shaky hands reaching for his. He didn’t jerk away, hell he didn’t even tense, his entire body just relaxed when your hand made contact with his and it was unlike anything she’d ever seen him do. In all the years she’d known him, all the times she’d touched him, he never once looked the way he did now. 

He pulled you away, behind a wall near the bathrooms. Atsumu had finally let go and she quickly followed the path you and Suna had taken. The setter clicked his tongue and followed her to make sure she wouldn’t do anything stupid.

She would have too. Done something stupid that is, if she hadn’t seen the look on his face just before he kissed you; absolute content. It was like you’d made all his other thoughts and feelings just disappear, and she knew that even if she managed to tear them apart and get him to be with her, Suna would always wish she were you. 

“I think I’m gonna go now,” she squeaked. 

“See ‘ya at the wedding,” Atsumu said snidely. 

She silently wondered if he was joking. 

=

Ahh those were so fun to write ;-;

[ifeelallwrite]

Let’s talk about Hospital Playlist. (KDRAMA REVIEW)

note: does contain spoilers

When people ask me what is my favorite Korean drama of all time, with no doubt, IT’S HOSPITAL PLAYLIST. This drama has the comic relief, the emotional scenes, realistic characters-just to name a few. No toxic relationships and petty revenge fights. Nothing else will stop me for saying that this is the ultimate feel good drama.

SYNOPSIS: The drama shows insights into the daily lives of doctors and nurses working at Yulje Medical Hospital. It focuses on 5 doctors who have been friends since medical school, who also play together as a band.

This drama encompasses so many elements and characters so bear with me yo this might be real long 

Hospital Playlist is produced/written by the Shin-Lee PD and writer pairing, whose previous works were the renowned Reply trilogy and Prison Playbook (which are *chef’s kiss*) I really like that all their dramas really highlight humanism, and puts emphasis on creating a heartwarming and realistic series. There isn’t always a major conflict to be resolved, but instead it showcases how different people-in this case mostly those in the medical field-go on about their daily lives.  I also liked their reasoning to produce a medical drama which was that hospitals were where the most dramatic moments occurred, for example during births, deaths or sickness. And since we are still in the Covid-19 pandemic, it ties in greatly to be paying homage to all the medical personnel saving lives. Hence, props to those who were involved in this meaningful masterpiece <3

The drama is not the usual 16 episodes, but has 12 episodes for each season (SEASON 2 IS COMING SOON YAAS) Good thing is I felt that they were still able to weave a dynamic storyline in the first season even with lesser episodes. The writing was just top-notch with the witty humor bits. Additionally, the music is AMAZING. I love the concept of the main characters being a band and playing different songs every episode too.

Okay, now onto the characters. I thought that every character in this drama was well rounded. Starting of with the main five characters, also known as The 99ers, whose distinctive personalities and natural chemistry make all of them extremely likeable. All main characters are professors of different specialties, and I find the male OB-GYN (Seokhyeong) and female neurosurgeon (Songhwa) very refreshing. Also, I like Shin-Lee dramas always have characters that might be realistic yet hardly seen in other dramas or films. For example, Professor Ahn Jeongwon. Despite being a chaebol (inheritor/heir), he isn’t depicted as a spoilt brat or a cold character, instead as a warm Pediatric doctor who uses his wealth to secretly support patients in need. However it makes him stingy to his friends LOL

To be honest, I really thought I was gonna dislike Junwan due to his cold and tsundere nature. I pretty much believed that he was going to be the party pooper type of the bunch, but with the writer being a master of character development, he turned out to be really sincere and hilarious at times. Same for Ikjun, who apart from his enthusiastic and happy go lucky exterior, cares the most about the people around him. Although Seokhyeong seemed detached and introverted, he shows a emotional side to his friends as well as his mother. Songhwa is literally a girlboss though haha she’s smart, capable and gets along with everyone well. And she’s the most sane out of the bunch. 

With all the main characters, we have the relationships. Junwan is the first to date seriously with Iksun (the dog or Micky? jkjk) who is Ikjun’s sister. When it first happened I was like not again Jung Kyung Ho (bc he dated his best friend’s sis in prison playbook too LMAO) I think their relationship was realistic and open. It also showed a more sensitive side to Junwan who would do anything for her. I especially liked how he said he didn’t need access to her phone because he trusted her. Yet as all couples do, they have their fair share of ups and downs. Like conflicts on getting married and a long distance relationship as Iksun moves overseas for graduate studies. I don’t really know how to take the ambiguous ending for these two, as Junwan receives the returned box (that has the ring he sent) I really hope nothing bad happens to these two though.

I’m sure we all love Wintergarden couple though, tbh they’re kinda my OTP at the moment 🤣 It was pretty much a ‘will they won’t they’ relationship with a relatively slow build. I think Gyeoul turned out to be one of my favourite characters. Shin Hyun Been did a good job at portraying her as a straightforward but innocent Resident, who is pretty much openly crushing on Jeongwon. The scenes they had together were adorably awkward (and the scene where he gives her chocopies omg) And when Jeongwon battles his inner conflict to become a priest, the final decision where they kiss was beautifully shot, with the actors both showcasing their emotions extremely well. 

Then we have Chihong who pursues Songhwa, his professor. Midway through the drama, it is also shown that Ikjun and Songhwa might have had romantic feelings for each other. Songhwa ends up rejecting Chihong’s confession. In my opinion, Chihong was quite a interesting character but I didn’t really like him at the end. (I like the actor though) He did a real jerk move during drinking games, insisting on Ikjun to confess his feelings towards her even though he is already trying not to put Songhwa in an awkward spot. Although his character did end up making a cool exit and when I thought about his incredible story of soldier to doctor, I kinda regret disliking him that much. As for IkSong, In the final episode Ikjun confesses to her one last time, and we are left waiting for Songhwa’s reply. As much as I love this pairing, I don’t think that the ship will sail or maybe not as quickly as we think. I believe Songhwa would meticulously consider the sacrifices to their friendship or other aspects and might not be able to bring herself to it, but I hope it’s otherwise. 

Lastly not forgetting Seokhyeong and Minha, another Professor+resident pairing. This one’s a bit ambiguous though, mainly because there hasn’t been much romantic development. To me, the most impactful scene came from Minha who had been irritated by continuous night shifts and was on the verge of a breakdown. She ended up remarkably saving a patient, starting off surgery on her own for the first time. Oh man Minha was such a lovable character, I remember feeling so bad for her but extremely proud of her for her accomplishment. Although Seokhyeong seemed a bit aloof and distant (which was intentional bc he’s an introvert) I think the backstory and all the hardships he faced with his family really made me feel for him. I hate to break it to you, but I’m not so sure if the ship will sail because of the phone call from his ex-wife and Minha’s somewhat rejected confession. But who knows, they might pull off a twist 👀

Apart from all these characters, there are more characters HHAHAH However, I think this is the killing point of ShinLee dramas. Unlike typical dramas which usually focuses on a main character and 2-3 side characters, they like to cast a diverse range of actors (especially those from theatre/musicals and lesser known drama/movie actors) while actually give their characters personality or a reason to be there. I’ve seen many dramas where extras or side characters were kind of irrelevant thus making me feel that they weren’t needed to build the storyline, yet ShinLee dramas hit different y’all. Every role, no matter how small, holds significance to the drama. It really seemed like a collaborative work that shows off every actors skills (and not forgetting staffs) and teamwork.

Anyways because there are way too many characters and too many scenes for me to mention them all, I’ll just talk about some honourable mentions heheh

1. Sunbin and Seokmin confession scene (ahh so cute)

I kinda sensed that they liked each other at the start but I didn’t know Seokmin would ask her out on a date at the end. Even though it’s kinda awkward that they are dating and working with each other though (both are in the same department) but hey the confession was cute and awkward and just warm and fuzzy 🥰

2. MAMA ROSA IS THE QUEENN

I think we all (would) love Mama Rosa because she’s a real one ☝️ (probably the coolest mother ever) She’s feisty, hilarious and kind to others. Plus her friendship with Ju Jong Su was just adorable and super wholesome. The scenes where they were supporting one another through tough times and hanging out with each other when they felt lonely always put a smile on my face. Oh and how Mama Rosa treated Gyeoul was extremely sweet. (as well as Seokhyeong’s mother) Despite her tough exterior, she’s a likeable character for being a strong but caring woman.

3. Just Do Jae Hak

I seriously love this guy so muchhh omg he’s so funny

Do Jae Hak has a funny amd clumsy personality, though it’s clear he’s been through a lot and is strong willed person. From admitting his indecisiveness to counselling Jun Wan on his love issues, there’s literally nothing to hate about him.

4. Uju and his dadd

The father and son chemistry between these two is so good omg. The scenes with these two are so adorable and heartwarming (not to mention hilarious) It’s amazing to see how Ikjun cares so much for Uju despite his hectic workdays while going through infidelity issues with his ex-wife. Uju is matured for his age and shows his love and appreciation for his dad too, making their interaction a great portrayal of a healthy family relationship💞

5. the food stealing the show🥘

Who doesn’t love food and when a show has great food scenes? Some of the best scenes are definitely when the 99s gather to eat. It really showcases each character’s personality with the tiniest details as well as highlight warm delicious meals. Just don’t watch this when you’re hungry at 2am in the morning guys you’ll be drooling all over your screens HAHAHA

Of course there are way more aspects, like Hongdo and Yoonbok, Ikjun and Iksun’s pigeon jokes and raps, or Jeongwon drunk crying in the chicken shop with his brother (who was his coach in Reply 1994 when he played Chilbong LOL)

Most importantly, I think it is the themes and messages that you get from the drama that really create such a lasting impression. Not only does it hit you in the feels with the hardships of hospital patients, or the hardworking doctors+nurses who are working long shifts saving lives, it also tackles topics of friendships through the possibilities of platonic and friends-to-lovers relationships. However I think the biggest lesson for me came from Seokhyeong, who learns to live his life doing what he want, with the people he treasures. Although the drama might seem slow at times (mainly because there isn’t really a main plot line/conflict occurring), but this drama would still bring you on a journey where you would laugh, cry and finish the series, begging for season 2 ✌🏻

[binniesthighs]

hello stranger | reader x changbin |

a/n: we are getting to the “height” of the conflict, therefore the angst is gonna start amping up-just as a reminder! This fic talks about self worth and healing from past trauma so please read what makes you comfy! In this chapter, the majority is implied, but still, please read the warnings ahead of time :) 

Part 4 

Pairing: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, female reader x han jisung 

Genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst 

Tags: (of this part) college au, rapper!changbin, rapper!jisung, establishedfwb!jisung, artist!reader, explicit language, fluffy growing feelings, mentions of food, hello yes I just wanna give this changbin a huuuuge hug 

CWs: implications/discussion of past toxic realtionship, implications of negative self-worth and self-sabotage 

Word count: 4.8k 

Chapters: 

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5

Popcorn flew into the air in slow motion and approximately four hundred multicolored skittles scattered the floor like the shattering of glass. 

“Yes...yes...FUCK YES!!” 

Felix launched his small body into the air with a victorious screech, turning his controller into a projectile. The clump of black plastic thumped into the torn up corduroy couch missing Chan’s arm by millimeters. 

“HOW TO YOU LIKE THAT?? WOOOO!!” 

Your friend took a victory lap around the tiny living room that was a mess of winter coats and boots with melted snow dripping to the hardwood floor. 

“Felixxxxx, you made a mess!” Chan sighed out deeply and solemnly at the array of rainbow colored candies on the floor. 

“I never win. You gotta admit the way that I finished that off was extra disrespectful. DID YOU SEE the way that I down-B’d you to pieces??? That was fuckin’ awesome.” 

“Good job ‘lix.” You pulled a Twizzler by your teeth and dished out a little wink for him. 

“Hey! I haven’t been playing for nearly as long as you two have. I see this as a complete win.” 

“Well, Chan and I were at each others throats the whole time, so, we kinda killed ourselves off for you.” 

“I still won!!” 

“Alright, alright, good job.” Both you and Chan took turns patting his poofy blond hair. 

“Ahhh our Lix’ is finally growing up.” Chan sighed, mockingly looking out in the distance to some far away place. “But...now you’ve gotta clean this up. Lucky you’re the one that paid for the Skittles, not me.” 

In his fit of happiness Felix didn’t even care about getting down on his hands and knees to pick up the pieces like Cinderella. 

Chan took a gulp of his electric green Monster. “Feels nice to have you back around here Y/n. It feels like it’s kind of been a while.” 

“Mm, it has. You know how it goes, stuff gets busy and all that.” 

“~And she’s been hanging out with someone else~” Felix’s words came out in a cutesy little song. 

“You have?” 

You slapped Felix right upside the head to which he whimpered out with a much more dramatic “owww” than was warranted. 

It was likely a mistake that the two of you had kept Changbin a secret from Chan. Chan basically idolized him, and you felt that it was best not to...complicate things. Every other hour Chan would bring up one of Changbin’s songs, talking about him as if he was some kind of lyrical genius. He had half a plan to meet him at the last show, but had gotten too shy and pulled you both before he could get second thoughts. 

For it to be so easy for you...it felt somehow unfair. 

It was definitely a mistake. 

“Who? Jisung?” Chan rolled his eyes a bit like he always would when spoke of that boy.

“No...” Your voice became small, then you shot deathly glares at Felix who tucked his tail in between his legs. 

“Chan...”

Felix’s eyes widened to full moons once he had realized what you were about to do. You curled yourself up into a ball slightly, sweaty hands grasping at your controller. 

“Its...Changbin.” 

“CHANGBIN?” Chan shot upright from his seat. “Changbin?? Are we talking about the same Changbin?? Changbin-from-the-show-Changbin??” 

“Yes.” You steadied your thumping chest. 

“When did that happen??” Chan turned his body towards Felix who cowered into the mess of Skittles. “Did you know about this?” 

Felix made a little grunt that could have sounded like either a “yes” or a “no”-- it was likely his safest bet. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because I knew it would be kinda...like this...” 

Your eldest friend sat back down his his palm firmly slapped against his forehead. “Sorry, I’m just having a hard time piecing this all together.” 

“It happened after the show that one day. I was walking home and I fell and got kind of scraped up, then he took me back to his place...” 

Simply bringing that night back up again sent you spinning into your pool of memories: and they had a particular tendency to make you just as flustered as the night when they had first occurred. There were dozens of little things about him that had stuck with you, even if you wouldn’t admit it out loud. 

There was that stupidly confident smirk of his, that little scar on his chin, how his fingers looked in those silver rings, his hooded grey-black eyes, those faint little stretch marks on the backs of his arms, and the way that his Adam’s apple would bounce when you kissed into his neck. 

“Well? Chan’s voice snapped you back. “Does that mean...you aren’t seeing Jisung anymore?” 

“...Jisung?” 

His name hadn’t occupied your thoughts for weeks, and you hadn’t taken much notice of it. There were unread text messages from him that had fallen to the bottom of you message list, and missed calls that you hadn’t returned. Creeping inside of you was a sick and sticky feeling: the kind that you pushed deep down inside yourself to the place where things would get forgotten. 

You didn’t know what you wanted from Jisung. 

It wasn’t the way that he would kiss you roughly and needily, or how he would take greedy hands to every inch of your body. It wasn’t how he would fill praises into your ears or shake a little when he would finish himself off on your belly.  Months ago, it would be all you could think of, then immediately forget after it had happened. That was what made it easy. 

Changbin wasn’t easy. He wouldn’t give himself up entirely to you just because he could. He made you earn him, and he made you seek him. 

You belonged to neither of them. 

In your lap, your hands trembled with a memory of long ago: snowflakes in your hands burning with the cold and your throat scratched from all the yelling. 

“Y/n?” Chan softened. 

 A sob had caught in your throat which you swallowed down with effort. “I-I’m still seeing Jisung.” 

“Wait, you’re seeing both of them?” Felix popped up from the floor. “You didn’t tell either of them?” 

“I don’t need to. I’m not tied down to either of them.” You had said it as confidently as you could, almost like you needed to convince yourself. 

Both of your best friends eyes carefully held yours. 

“Doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t tell them.” Felix nodded. 

Chan nodded too in agreeance. 

“But we’re just fucking around?? Its not like I’m cheating on anyone.” 

“Y/n, you’re missing the point.” 

“What? Don’t I have the right to sleep with whoever the hell I want to? Don’t you think that it’s kind of backwards that I should keep everyone in the loop when I’m just--why would I--” 

Chan’s hand snuck over to yours which had started shaking even more violently on your leg; you hadn’t even noticed. The sobs that you had held in your chest started to overflow, bubbling and spewing from your surface. They felt choked in your throat, and then burned hot tears in your eyes. Both of your friends got to work, scooting in right next to you and sandwiching you between their arms. 

“You don't have to be afraid.” Felix whispered softly. He smoothed his hand down your back. 

“I-I’m not.” You clenched the words between your teeth. “Why-why are you guys drilling me like this??” You squirmed a bit between them. 

Chan hushed, “We’re not.” 

“Then why does it feel--” 

“--You're doing it again.” Felix simply sighed, and rocked the three of your bodies to the tune of your messy sobs. 

Chan let out little “shhh” sounds. “Stop digging yourself in that hole Y/n. You know that you’re doing it. Its more than just messing around.” 

A tangible and thick silence held the air where your two closest friends held onto you tightly, almost like you would slip away. You fucking hated them for reading you as well as they did, but you also fucking loved them for being as good at it as they were. Being sandwiched like this with them was all too familiar. They had also done it on that same night: the night when your world had collapsed. That night you had been so weak you could barely hold back. 

“It’s not gonna happen again.” Chan said at last. “I know that you must think about it all the time, and I’m so sorry that you do. You’re never gonna be stuck in that alley alone again.” 

Felix quickly added, “We’ll be there--even if it does--which it won’t.” 

“Stop dragging yourself through it okay? I know it’s easier said than done.” Chan took his black sweater sleeve to dab at your tears. 

You were completely engulfed in your friends love, the unconditional kind: the kind that would part the seas and walk through flames for you. You don’t know how you could have forgotten how it had been there. 

“Maybe its one of them or the other, but, I think you should tell them. You don’t deserve to tear yourself up like this over it all. It’s not good for you, or for them.” Felix laughed a little. “We’re not blind you know.” 

Fat, thick sniffles clogged up your nose. Your subconscious and consciousness mudded behind your eyes and those memories of both boys: Changbin and Jisung became indistinguishable. You had sought them out for different reasons, but you hadn’t known why. Now, it was all becoming clearer. 

“You like him don’t you?” Felix took his turn dabbing at your eyes too. “I can tell.” 

“N-no...” 

Felix didn’t even need to say who “he” was for you to understand. 

“No?” 

“I just...go see him sometimes.” 

You would. You would see him, think of him, call all the little things about him to your memory: that scar on his chin and the faint stretch marks on his arms. 

Snot dripped down your nose and over your quivering lips and you didn’t even care. 

That voice rang in your ears just as you had remembered it on that night when he had dragged you out there, alone, furious. You didn’t even know what you had done wrong. 

"I don’t want it to happen again.” 

The words tore from your lips freely, finally. The fear that you had held so deep inside, the fear that would plague your every other thought. The fear that kept you from answering questions or giving answers. The fear that brought your feet to Jisung’s doorstep and the fear that kissed away words on Changbin’s lips. A massive weight like heavy metal chains that had wrapped around your body started to loosen. 

“How are you going to let yourself have a chance at something good if you don’t try, right?” Chan and Felix exchanged hopeful little smiles. 

Felix patted your hair to fix where you had frizzed it between them. “You know what you need to do.” 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

[11:18] 

changbin: this friday? yeah, I don’t think that I have anything else going on. 

its been a little while.

everything okay? 

...

i’m sorry if i overstepped that night

you just looked 

...

fuck 

 you’ve got me thinking of you all the time 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Snow fell on your walk to class. It was the same early morning one that you shared with Minho. These days, the two of you had seemed to have gotten much closer. Even though you hadn’t been over in nearly a week, Minho still talked to you as if he saw you there every day. He would complain about little things such as how the rest of his roommates would leave dishes in the sink or socks randomly on the floor. 

What the two of you didn’t talk about much was Changbin. There was some unspoken understanding now that the two of you had promised. He didn’t want to know much and you didn’t want to tell him; and it stayed that way. It was odd now considering that you had been quiet before so he couldn’t hear. 

Admittedly, that did give you a chuckle or two from time to time. 

Today, the snowflakes gathered in clumps and hugged each other while they floated down the the ground where they would melt instantly. This was the kind of snow that wouldn’t stick around. For this, you were grateful. In the first week of February, you had just enough of winter and longed for the green grasses that would peek from the melting white. 

The tip of your nose and ears were warm as you marched onward with eyes squinted from the flakes that would get caught in them. In some ways, you were thankful. During the lectures, you would often prefer watching the blanket of white dancing in the windows behind the professors head. 

Something you still had to learn however, was picking the right shoes. Your toes were frozen in the same canvas shoes that Changbin had scolded you for wearing. You pulled out your phone the check the time: eleven minutes early. It was somewhat of a personal best. 

You smiled with a little pride, missing the body mass that was walking right past you and collided with your shoulder. 

“Oh! Sorry, I’m so sorry, I was--Jisung?” 

“Y/n?? Holy shit--” 

Heartbeats rang in your ears and you felt as if you could hear the very blood pumping in your veins. 

“I-I’m late for class, I gotta--” 

“--No wait!” Rather than looking angry as you expected, that wide smile of his spread across his rosy cheeks. “I’m just glad that I ran into you.” 

“Jisung, really, I need to go--” 

His gloved hand reached out for your arm. “I’ve been trying to reach you but I think something must’ve gone wrong with your phone. How are you doing?” 

“How am I doing?” 

“Yeah, I was kinda worried, it was like you dropped off the face of the earth.” 

You clawed your arm away. “I’ve been fine.” 

Jisung sucked at his teeth, “Listen, after your class, can we talk? I borrowed my roommates car--I can drive us back to my place--” 

“--That’s what you want to do? Talk?” The simmering anxiety that washed over you turned into irate heat. 

“Yeah?” 

“No its not.” 

You slung your shoulder bag high up your arm, and walked on. 

“Stop stop stop.” Jisung threw his body in front of your path. “What’s been going on with you? Hm? Did something happen? What is it? Your-uh art or something? You still do that right?” 

Jisung had seen your paintings decorating the walls of your bedroom and the sketches that piled up on your desk next to colored pencils tied up together by rubber bands. He had seen them, but he had never looked. 

“Why the hell do you care so much?” 

“Baby--” He scuffed after your determined steps towards the business building. “Listen, I-I missed you okay?” Jisung yelled into the winter air: “I missed you. Alright?” 

“Jisung, it wasn’t me that you missed.” 

He stammered, and huffed up those puffy cheeks of his. In one final attempt, he approached you carefully with those cute brown eyes that you would often let slip into your daydreams. He reached out for your cold hand and took it in his. Had it been several months ago, you would have killed for him to hold your hand like that. 

“I’ve been doing some thinking lately, especially when I hadn’t heard from you. I just...got this feeling like had done something wrong and I couldn’t figure out what the hell it was. Now, I know that I did. I...don’t like seeing you mad like this. Tell me what it is? I wanna see you at my show next week. I just want things to go back to the way that they were.” 

The way that things were. 

The way that things were was simplier. Easier. Just like he was. Jisung didn’t ask questions and Jisung didn’t take you out to noodle places just because he he felt like it. 

The way that things were would have been easier and his hand did feel pleasantly warm in yours like you had imagined. 

“I have to get to class Jisung.” 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

On that Friday evening when you marched up to the front door of Changbin’s apartment building, he stood hooded under the tin awning turned to rust brown with age. He huffed out a little under the dinky light of the old building, but as far as you could see, his cheeks and nose had blushed with pink. You wouldn’t have pegged him it for it, but he had draped a thick black scarf around his neck in the same place where he would usually display that thick silver chain. As soon as you locked eyes, he gave you a little wave with knees bouncing. 

“Shouldn’t you be inside?” Your breath vaporized into thin, white, visible droplets in the air.  

“I thought that I could meet you out here rather than have you wait in the cold. I realized I did that last time.” 

“Oh. Uh-thank you...I guess.” 

Changbin cracked out a little smile, then announced, “Come on, let’s get going.” 

“Get going? Get going where? Did you want to get noodles again?” 

He chuckled, then stepped out into the lightly falling snow. It tangled up in his curling locks and got caught in the fabric of his scarf. “Hm-no. Not this time.” 

Changbin looked over at you with his stormy grey eyes, something that hadn’t come to you as easily as before. Something in him had changed since you had first met him when he was standing on that stage as if it was the edge of the world. Before, you had felt as if you were drowning in the way that he carried himself, or the way that his gaze would bear down at you as if to test your strength. The aura that you once thought to be crushing had now turned into something much softer. 

“You coming or are you just gonna stand there?” 

One of his hands which he had tucked into his parka coat wiggled out to beckon you behind him. 

“Come on. Take it.” 

“Wh--” 

Changbin made the choice for you then shoved both of your hands into his pocket. “It’ll be warmer this way.” 

You scoffed at the gesture: it was the oldest trick in the book. “Really? Is it?” 

In the cramped pocket filled with lint, his thumb rubbed up against yours. You obliged, and he tugged you close to him with each and every finger interlaced between yours.  

“See? Feels better now doesn’t it?” 

Flecks of salt crunched under both of your shoes when you turned the corner lit by a single streetlight. Both of the fabric of your coats squeaked standing this close to eachother. His scarf was pulled up all the way to his chin, and his hair bopped with each and every step that he took. 

“You’re not going to tell me at all?” 

“Can’t you just let this happen? I’m trying to surprise you, damn...” 

“...Surprise? What...?” 

Changbin lead the two of you past another corner to a much busier street in the nighttime: it was bustling with cars and taxi’s and it was lined with little shops on each side that leaked out tantalizing smells. 

“Are we getting food here?” 

“Quit asking questions.” 

Two more blocks, and Changbin’s hand tugged at you all the way down the stairs to the subway where he used his own card to swipe you both in. Down there the sides of the walls were dirtied with old newspapers and cigarette butts, and the walls were of an aquamarine blue hue. 

“The subway? We can’t be going too far...right?” 

Still, he said nothing while he brought you right over the the waiting area, and the two of you stood amongst the businessmen in their best shirts stained with food smears and beer splatters as well as the nurses still in their scrubs after a long day. 

“I said stop to asking questions.” His sentence trailed with a bit of an edge. “Here, stay close.” 

A group of particularly raucous businessmen fell all over each other in a little pod closest to you and Changbin. It was as if it was instinctual for him the way that he wrapped his arm around your shoulder to pull you in to his chest where you stood on the subway deck. A dank smell of wet coats and the sweating bodies under them wove to the air once you had entered and mingled with the rest of the passengers. It was rush hour, and the capacity of the subway was near limit, so no seats could be found. You had to bury your face partially into that scarf of his as he held onto one of the straps dangling from the ceiling of the car. Both of your arms wrapped around him in a type of hug as you clung to his frame to keep your balance.

“Only a few more stops,” He assured you. 

The lull of the car drew a heavy and sleepy film over your eyes, and you found yourself nuzzling into his warmth and clinging to the fabric of his coat just a bit tighter. You had never guessed, but there was an odd sense of intimacy about holding on to one person on a speeding train in a crowd of people. 

“This one.” Changbin nudged you lightly, then pushed a few bodies out of your way bodyguard-style at the stop. “Watch your step.” 

He swept your hand back up into his, then he led the both of you to the staircase and the sound of the city that was much louder and obvious than it was at the stop by his home. His smug smirk only grew the higher and higher that you ascended. 

“Now are you going to tell me?” 

“You’re horrible with surprises. Changbin nudged you with his elbow. “I’m never surprising you again.” 

The skin of your cheeks were once more assaulted with the bite of the winter, and it took you several moments to figure out where he had taken you. 

“Look over to your left.” 

Just past a hectic intersection, there was the soft glow of lights: the first ones that you could see were yellow-white, and they were all tangled up in the branches of tree branches: making them appear as if the leaves had never fallen, but were instead replaced by these luminescent ones. You looked further past them to the entire park which was illuminated by similar string lights of all kinds of different colors: green and red, blue, pink and orange. Every single tree in the park was decorated with them, and they shone upon the area in a rainbow of colors. 

“Christmas lights?” 

“The last ones that they take down I think.”  

“I mean...I wasn’t expecting...this” You gestured to the sea of lights before you. 

The stoplight across the street blinked on to the little “walk” symbol. 

Confident as ever, Changbin didn’t falter. “Let’s go.” 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

You followed after Changbin under the canopy of spiny winter fingers and the lights that were spotted in between them. The passageway of the park was lined with benches on the side of the path and little groups of families, friends and couples each passed pointing out at the whole display. Christmas had been long gone, but somehow it still existed here in this little corner and the joviality it held with it. 

He motioned for you to sit and brushed off the remnants of snow caked on the wood. 

“I’ve got one more surprise for you.” 

“I thought you said that you weren’t going to surprise me anymore?” 

“Well, you’re in luck because I planned this one already.” 

From his pocket he took out what looked like a thin aluminum container with hinges on the side. The metal was cold in your hands when you popped it open and inside was a small sketchbook with dotted paper and a set of double-sided colored pencils.

“I thought...you said something about colors the other day and how you liked them so I thought you would like it here with all the lights and maybe you could draw it? If you want?” 

“Changbin...” 

The wooden pencils were of a waxy quality; likely the kind that you could get at a corner store but that wasn’t nearly what mattered the most. 

“Thank you. I mean it. I’ll draw something.” 

Your heart always skipped a beat the second that you brought your pencil to the paper, and this was no exception. Across from you, there was another bench, identical to the one you sat on, and behind it, was a tree wrapped in pink lights. You set to work quickly, copying the picture as best as you could, not even caring for the little mistakes you could make. Changbin watched you from your shoulder, but you had barely taken notice. Once you had finished, you scribbled your signature at the bottom habitually. 

“Here, I want you to have it.” You tore out the page. “It’s a thank you.” 

He turned it over in his hand, then lightly brushed his fingertips over the way that you and woven the tree branches together and how it looked like the bench was dipped in the symphony of multi-colored lights. Beyond the tree line, you had drawn a few of the skyscrapers crowning the scene which he traced over too. 

“Wow...um, thank you.” He hid his tiny grin after shoving it in his pocket. 

Together you both sat, saying nothing, but rather taking in the scene together just as you had done at the noodle shop. It was peaceful simply existing next to another human being like this. 

Your knuckles cracked in your lap while you recalled Chan and Felix’s urgings looking over at Changbin while he too wondered around himself. 

Its not good for you. Or for them. 

The man next to you rose, “Do you want to walk around a bit more? Or--”

“--Changbin...I need to tell you something.” 

“What is it?” Under the pink glow of the string lights, his skin appeared softer. 

“There’s something--I haven’t told you something and...you deserve to know.” 

“Know...what?” 

His head titled, examining the way that your face had fallen and became twisted up in the words on your tongue. He reached out to hold both of your cold-bitten cheeks in his hands, rubbing his thumbs to soothe you. You thought to yourself, there was something oddly intimate about standing out in the open with him like this: bearing yourself as such for the whole world to see, and how the tip of your nose rubbed up against his. 

The words stung in your throat with a pain like acid. 

“During this time when we were...there was also-I was also--” 

“--I know what you’re going to stay and I want you to stop.” 

“What?” 

Changbin scoffed. "I should have guessed anyway but, it’s not my place either since we never really said exactly what this is.” 

Your voice wavered, “I’m sorry. I’ll understand--” your arms fell to your sides. “--if you don’t want to--” 

“--I said stop. Do you need me to say it again? I don’t own you or any dumb shit like that, and you don’t owe me anything either. But, I appreciate the honesty though.” Changbin pulled your forehead to rest against his, exhaling out visible breaths. “What are you going to do now?” 

Just as he had done before, he reached down, all the way down your arms to wrap them around his waist. 

“I-I don’t know. But--I do know that, being around you is...different and--” You sniffled, “--I don’t want to give that up yet.” 

“Okay then. 

You held your eyes closed, but you could hear his one and only smirk in his words. 

“I wouldn’t mind sticking around either--but--you know what this means then?” 

“What’s that?” 

“You’re coming to my show next week.” 

“Ugh, fine. I’ll go.” 

Both of your breathless giggles filled the space between you both. 

Your chest shook with a sigh, the kind that had been trapped, or maybe just held in for too long. 

His lips were cold under the array of twinkling lights, and he delved himself into you carefully with his focus on nothing other than you. The way that he kissed you was terrifyingly beautiful: as if you were the way that each of the colors from the lines you sketched intersected and became one with the other. The heat of skin and the tip of his tongue filled your mouth with his promises that he had been composing for you since he had met you, and you could finally hear it for the first time. He had never changed the way in which he had done it from that first night.

He kissed you like he loved you, and maybe he really did.  

[mirkwoodshewolf]

A new kind of competition; RA on the Masked singer pt. 2

*Author’s note*

Okay I know I’m kinda doin this out of order but I was posting this part on Wattpad and since it was still in my copying memory I decided to post this part up first but no worries, pt. 1 will be posted up in just a minute. And I wanna tell you all that there will be only TWO MORE chapters left before I finally complete the Rock Angel series. Enjoy this chapter until next time my dears :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@queensdivas

@queen-paladin

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@geek-and-proud

@starswin

@queendeakyy

@5sos-wdw

@onebigfangirlworld

@isabella-bby

@labessieisallama

@ssa-sadboi

@naturalswifty89

@wormzteef

@bohemiansweede

_________________________________________________________

*Round 5. THE SUPER 8*

Now it was starting to get serious, this was now the Super 8 and this was the first time this season that 2 people were gonna get eliminated.  I took a deep breath and gave a silent prayer to God and Freddie above to give me strength.

“And here to give us yet another star-stellar performance and another few hints as to who this mega star could be under the mask. Here’s the Lioness.”

The LIONESS; CLUE PACKAGE

“What very few people don’t know about me is that I didn’t always have that good of a homelife as a child.” I said as I walked through a child’s room.  I took hold of my stuffed lion and hugged him tightly as I continued, “The people who raised me were well—let’s just say they weren’t the nicest of people. The remainder of my childhood into adolescence was toxic for me.”

“Oh my god.” Nicole muttered sympathetically.

“Growing up with that much toxicity it really damaged my self-esteem. No matter how hard I tried, it just wasn’t enough for them.”

“Growing up in an abusive home.” Robin noted. “Wonder if she’s an advocate for domestic abuse?”

“But I knew I couldn’t let myself be buried underneath all that hatred. It took a long, long, long, long time. But I forgave them. Because in a way without them, I wouldn’t have found this inner strength within me.”

“You go Lioness.” Cheered Jenny.

“That’s why for this performance, if you or a loved one is dealing with toxic family members or partners. There’s no shame in admitting they’re in the wrong. Because if you continue to listen to their toxic lies, it’ll only lead you down one way. And you’re too good to leave this world just yet.” I set the stuffed lion down and punched the wall which shattered as I let out a proud roar.

I stood there on stage with the mic on hand as my girl Pink’s “Beautiful trauma” came on and I began singing in a ballad like tone first.  Slowly walking across the stage till I came upon a beautifully decorated swing (much like the Black Swan used a couple rounds ago).

*Me*

We were on fire I slashed your tires It's like we burned so bright we burned out I made you chase me I wasn't that friendly My love, my drug, we burn out

Oh

I got on the swing and it slowly raised up, lifting me all the way high above the audience as I sang the 2nd chorus. As the mantra part of the chorus came up, silk extended from the ends of the swing and I slowly swung back and forth making the silks dance gracefully in the wind.  When the bridge came up, I turned on my semi-good rapping skills. As I rapped out the bridge, the swing lowered me down towards the catwalk that stood in front of the judges.

Once my feet touched the ground and I sung the last verse, I walked towards the judges and sung before each of them.  

*Me*

The pill I keep taking The nightmare I'm waking There's nothing, no nothing, nothing but you My perfect rock bottom Beautiful trauma My love (my love), my love, my drug, oh

My love, my love, my love, my drug, oh My love, my love, my love, my drug, oh My love, my love, my love, my drug, oh My love, my love, my drug.

Mmm tough times they keep coming All night laughing and knackered Some days like I'm barely breathing Then after we were high and the love dope died, it was you

The pill I keep taking The nightmare I'm waking There's nothing, no nothing, nothing but you My perfect rock bottom My beautiful trauma My love, my love, my drug, oh

After walking back on stage with Nick standing at my side, he congratulated me on another amazing performance.  

“The Lioness is pulling our heartstrings once again.”

“I agree Nick. Especially after hearing that story of her going through domestic abuse that—that’s never an easy thing to go through. But Lioness let me just say you are a strong woman underneath. Because I can tell you’ve overcome that trauma and made a name for yourself.” Nicole told me.

I pounded my heart and raised my hand towards her.  She gave me a heart back.

“Now we raided through your fridge and found out just what exactly the Lioness loves to eat.”

“Oh come on Nick this is easy! She eats meat!” Ken exclaimed.

“Sit your butt down Ken!” Nick exclaimed. “Men in Black, bring out the Lioness’s favorite meal.” One of them came pulling out a cooler and sat it right beside Nick and he said. “Alright, let’s see what we’ve got in here.” There was a drumroll before he opened it to reveal a thermos that read JASMINE TEA.

“What’s that say on the thermos?” asked Jenny.

“Jasmine tea.”

“But there’s no food there!” complained Ken.

“To answer your Question Kenneth.” I scolded. That got the rest of the panel as well as Nick laughing. “Any type of food is good for me, but it’s this tea that will give you a clue. As to who I am.”

The audience and Nick ooed.  Jenny’s mouth opened widely as she rapidly pounded her stack of notes.

“Jenny it looks like you’ve got something.”

“I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! Okay so in the clue package she talked about her abusive childhood. Rough upbringing, but she didn’t say parents were the ones doing it. And the number code that was given to us awhile back, that 149121. I have been running through my head various codes as to what that could mean. Until the TEA is what gave me the idea.”

“Who is it?!” Ken demanded.

“At least she’s making more sense than you do Ken!” Robin dissed.

“Okay the code actually stands for 11-24-91. And this Rockstar has a tattoo of it on her shoulder with Angel Wings to remember her friend and mentor Freddie Mercury. This is most definitely the ROCK ANGEL (Y/N) KLINE!!!”

“Oh yeah that’s right. She does have a tattoo with that date on it.” Robin agreed with her.

“Nah I’m gonna disagree with you on that Jenny.” Ken said.  Oh boy here we go. “Now going off based off the clue package we saw domestic abuse. And on the number code the first few numbers I picked out were 911.  This actress started in a movie known as “The Call”. Welcome to the Masked Singer Halle Berry!”

I shook my head and crossed my arms at him.

“Look at her she’s agreeing with me.”

“Ken this is not Halle Berry!” Nick Cannon said.  I then waved bye to Nick as I proceeded to walk off the stage but he told me to come back, so I had no choice but to stand there. “See Ken you made the Lioness upset just like you did with Nick Carter last season.”

“Hey like I said before then. This isn’t the first time someone’s walked away from my guesses, and it won’t be the last.”

“I think I might have an idea on who it might be.” Nicole piped in.

“Go head Nicole.”

“Okay so we saw the domestic abuse, growing up in an abusive home. But I also remember from a few weeks back there was a sign that said AIDS. So I’m thinking she’s also an advocate for AIDS/HIV awareness. I’m gonna put my money on Rihanna.”

Oh wow that’s impressive.  But sadly she’s wrong.  Although I have helped Rihanna with some of her AIDS awareness promotion when the two of us were at a party together for MTV.  She told me she wanted to start a campaign for it but had no idea where to begin with it.  So I gave her some of my well known contacts and gave her some business advice that I remember learning from Deacy on how to handle everything.

“That’s not a bad guess. But Rihanna’s got a different voice. But whoever you are, you wowed us once again Lioness.” I bowed and blew them a kiss as Nick told me that I could head backstage.

“The judges are slowly but surely getting a grip with my identity. But I’m not ready to go home just yet. And if I somehow make it through, I’ll give them a performance that’ll definitely throw them off my scent.”

Thankfully, I was safe from being unmasked in this double elimination, however Seashell and the Yeti weren’t as lucky.

*Round 6. THE SPICY 6*

It’s down to the wire now.  This song might just make me or break me, especially since it’s the hardest song I’ll ever do in my entire singing career.  But like Freddie and I always say, “It’s go big or go home darling.”  Plus this is another special performance that I’m dedicating to.

“Now then we actually got to sit down and actually talk with this Megastar. Here’s what we managed to find out about the Lioness.”

THE LIONESS CLUE PACKAGE AND INTERVIEW.

This clue package showed me getting my mask taken off but I still had a black face cover hiding my entire face.

“Oh yes that feels so much better.” I praised at feeling the cool air on my face.  The Producer then asked me.

“So how has it been being the Lioness so far?”

“A lot of fun. She’s given me the courage to do things I never thought I could do before.” The screens would show some of my previous performances from getting on a wrecking ball to being lifted well over 10ft above an audience.

“What would winning the Masked Singer mean for you?”

“Well I’m not just doing it for myself. But for my pride as well. Especially my dad.”

“You’re dad?” I nodded.  The screens would then show me walking around my den with a picture of me and a shadow figure of a male lion.

“Not related by blood but he’s been my father figure for as long as I’ve known him. In fact without his love, I never would’ve found true love on my own. My husband, my kids, even my grandkids. They wouldn’t have existed had he not given me the love that I was denied growing up.” I stroked the picture of the shadow figure of the lion beside me.  The screen also showed my real family with my husband lion, 4 adult kids and 2 young grandkid cubs.

I pressed the frame up to my mouth and gave it a kiss, the screen even made a kiss sound effect as little hearts danced around it.

“So Papa Lion, this song is for you. I love you so much and thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” I blew a kiss to the camera as my clue package and interview ended.

The ballad opening for “I don’t wanna miss a thing” by Aerosmith came on and I took a deep breath.  This was it, but you’re doing it for Roger here (n/n).  Even though he won’t know it, this song is for him. I opened my mouth and soon began singing.

Once the bridge came around and the most difficult part of the song came on, I unleashed every ounce of alto rawness I had within me and just belted out that last yeah which made fireworks rain down from the ceiling and the audience seemed to enjoy it.

*Me*

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping While you're far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Cause moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't want to miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, babe And I don't want to miss a thing

And I don't want to miss one smile I don't want to miss one kiss

And just stay here in this moment For all of the rest of time Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Don't want to close my eyes Don't want to fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't want to miss a thing

After finishing the song, fireworks came up behind me as I punched my fist into the air and panted from within my mask.

“Oh my god where did that come from!?” exclaimed Jenny.

“The lioness taking us to the far reaches of outer space with Armageddon!” Nick proclaimed as he came up beside me.

“I wanna say something first Lioness. That was probably your best performance ever.” Robin told me.  Oh my god seriously? I knew I had cracked up on that last ‘yeah’ but to hear him say this was my best performance surprised me. “You really laid it out on the line tonight with probably the hardest song but you executed it phenomenally.” He praised.

I bowed my hands in gesture to him telling him I wasn’t worthy.

“Alright now let’s see just who amongst our panel is the Lioness connected to.” The judges all looked up and soon my chute came down towards Ken but Nicole intercepted it from him and she said.

“Oh it’s for Jenny.” She passed it to Ken who passed it to Jenny and she saw the silver charm of a birthday cake.

“A birthday cake.” She told the crowd as she held the charm between her fingers.

“Jenny. I wanna thank your husband for performing at one of my kid’s birthday party.” At that the crowd got all suspicious and Jenny’s face was gaped wide in shock.

“Is Donny doing things behind your back?” Nicole accused Jenny.

“I hope not.” God these innuendos kill me. “Okay so apparently you know my husband Donny. But I-I don’t remember him ever telling me he performed at a kid’s birthday party.”

“What about the entire New Kids on the Block?” asked Robin.

“Possibly. Was it just my husband or the entire band that performed at your kid’s party?”

“You know she can’t answer that!” Nick snapped playfully.

“I’m sorry but I gotta know!”

“Alright panel. What’s this clue package doin for you?”

“Okay well in the clue package there was the picture of her family. I saw four grown kids and 2 grandkids. If she really is a grandma then I still gotta go with Rock Angel. Because her daughter Kelly just recently gave birth to a baby girl last year during the pandemic doing an at home birth.” Nicole said.

“Yeah and in the clue package she spoke about a father figure. And I read somewhere that she considers Roger Taylor from Queen her dad.”

“Okay, okay panel.” Damn they are starting to see it now.  But I hope this performance keeps me in the game.  “Well, all we know is was that was yet another killer performance. Make some noise for the Lioness. Go ahead and head on backstage.”

The judges really are seeming to close in on me. I really don’t wanna go home at this point but if I do then it is what it is.  I still had a lot of fun doing this show and it was an amazing ride.

But at the votes, I was surprised to see that it wasn’t me that was going home.  But the Russian Dolls, after doing Elton John’s song “I’m still standing”. I thought they did a hell of a lot better than me but I guess it’s not always the voices that count, but how you execute the performance.

Now it was onto the Semi-finals.

*SEMI-FINALS*

I’ve come too far to end this journey now. The Semi-finals is the last step to ensure that I can secure my spot in the finals.  And I have just the song to get me there.

“Week after week she has astounded us with pure, unadulterated vocals. But can she claim her spot for the finals. Let’s dig up some more clues on……the Lioness.”

THE LIONESS; CLUE PACKAGE:

“Being in this competition has taught me a lot about myself. On one side there’s the Lioness I present before the media, when I preform or out in the public. Then there’s the Lioness I am around my pride. A mother, a daughter, a grandmother. And I think that’s really the best job compared to my career.”

“She’s definitely a family woman.” Jenny stated as she took down some notes.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere without my family. They are my rock. Even those that had left me I still see them throughout my life.” I stood before a funhouse mirror maze and saw various shadows surrounding me. “And it’s their voices that give me the courage to continue the fight. So for this performance I’m gonna pull out all the stops and just allow you all to see the real me. Nothing but my raw vocals. I’ve fought to hard and I’m just not ready to go home yet.”

The stage screens were lit up with a rain animation as well as rippling water.  I stood there alone with the mic and the spotlight down on me as I sung the song that was once offered to me for the Original movie, but I recommended the Producers to Christina to do the song.

As the song grew more fiercer with the soft drumbeats and my voice became more powerful and intense, I could feel tears filling my eyes once more.  I was gonna get to the finals even if it costs me my voice.

*Me*

Look at me You may think you see Who I really am But you'll never know me Every day It's as if I play a part

Now I see If I wear a mask I can fool the world But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me?

Why is my reflection

Someone I don’t know?

There's a heart that must be free to fly That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal What we think, and how we feel?

I won't pretend that I'm Someone else for all time When will my reflection show Who I am inside? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?

At that last belt which I held longer than I ever held a note before.  A 9 full seconds which made the crowd go berserk.  I could see some people wiping their tears away as I sung the last couple of notes before finally ending it with a bow of my head.

“Heartfelt! Lioness once again pulling our heartstrings.”

“Okay I just need to say this Nick.” Ken said.

“Go ahead Kenneth.”

“Throughout this entire competition especially when it comes to the Semi-finals, it all comes down to who wants it most. And Lioness—” he wiped his tears away. “You didn’t just show us that you wanted a spot in the finals. You proved you’re worthy of the Rock Gods!”

Aww Dr. Ken.  I blew him a kiss and patted my heart and he blew me multiple kisses back.

“For once I agree with Ken.” Robin said.  “If people didn’t get teary eyed when you performed Whitney Houston’s hit song, they’re definitely not dry eyed by now.” The 2 women nodded in agreement.

“I agree with the guys. I grew up listening to this song. And to hear your voice do this song, not only did you just sing it. You felt it. And when a singer feels a song, it makes it that much more powerful.” Nicole added.  I nodded and replied to her.

“Agreed Nicole. This song……it really spoke out to me when I first heard it. And…..during a really, really rough time in my life. It—got me through so much.” I spoke through my choked tears. Knowing the judges could sense that I was crying underneath the mask, they all awed at me as Nick rubbed my back.

“Lioness even getting emotional up here. Panel, any guesses as to who she might be?”

“All I can say and have been saying is that this is a true, professional performer. And just that belt alone showed us what you’ve got. A true fire within you. Now I know that I’ve said the Rock Angel a couple of rounds but just this week alone hearing the voice, I wanna say this is Christina Aguilera.” Jenny said.

“But wouldn’t it be risky for her to do her own song?” Robin asked.

“She could’ve disguised her tone in order to sing it. But that recognizable control of the belt has to be her.” Jenny reasoned with him.

“I don’t think so Jenny. Cause in the clue package she says she’s a grandmother and Christina ain’t no grandmother yet. I’m still gonna say this is the Rock Angel.” Nicole said.

“Alright well, another heartfelt performance. Give it up one last time for the Lioness.” I waved to the audience and blew kisses at them before exiting the stage.

By the end of the round (and finding out the identity of the infamous Cluedle-Doo being none other than Jenny’s husband Donnie Wahlberg) it was time to see just who was gonna get eliminated and find out who was going into the finals.  I stood there with my hands in a prayer as I mouthed out a prayer before Nick finally said the contestant going home.

“The Black Swan!” oh no!  She’s actually been my favorite singer in our group.  Hell she and I were the only ladies representing Group B and now it was up to me.  “So congrats to the Piglet, Chameleon and Lioness, we will see you three in the finals.” I walked up towards Black Swan and gave her a hug and she hugged me back. “Aww look at that, Lioness giving Black Swan a hug. Seems we’ve got a friendship up here.”

I patted the side of her face before bopping her beak and finally left behind Chameleon.  Well it was up to me now, could I secure another female winner for the Masked Singer? Or be runner up? Only fate and the superfans will determine that.

*?????? POV*

I was reading the paper as per my morning routine.  Nothing new except this whole COVID talk and false expectations on the vaccine delivery. The world really has gone to shit hasn’t it these past few years?  That’s when I got a ding on my phone from my daughter Laura.  I unlocked it and read her text with a link to a video.

Dad, is this who I think it is?

Video: MASKED SINGER THE LIONESS

I think I might’ve heard of this show. Yeah it started off in America and after it’s popularity, various of other countries began it.  Here in the UK we just completed season 2, so this must be the American version.  I’ll admit the costume on the thumbnail looked beautiful and the detail was astounding.

I clicked on the video and it read THE MASKED SINGER S.5 SEMI-FINALS LIONESS.

The lights were dimmed and the second she opened her mouth to sing, my heart skipped a beat and I went frozen in my chair. Quick as I could I turned on our smart TV and opened up the YOUTUBE app on the TV and impatiently waited for it to open up.

“My love?” Veronica’s voice spoke as she came down.

“I’m fine dear!” I told her as the app finally uploaded.  I went over to the mic icon and pressed down on it and spoke into the remote. “The Lioness Masked singer.”

Soon enough various videos popped up and soon the video that Laura sent me was the first option.  I clicked on it and of course bloody ads had to come up. “Oh for god’s sake!”  I sat down on my chair as the video finally played and I could hear the rest of the song.

“Reflection” by Christina Aguilera.  This version was the recently updated one for the live action remake but just hearing this voice alone I knew only one person who could sing like that.

It had been decades since we last saw one another, shortly after 9-11 to be exact.  But even though I’m no longer involved with the music business anymore, I’d always ask Brian or Rog to keep an eye on her and tell me everything about her.

And now seeing her perform as this Lioness creature for such a show, they didn’t know just how lucky they were to be in her presence.  As the song got more powerful, I could feel these old bones of mine feeling warm and secure, tears filled my eyes and at that last belt, goosebumps came all over my body and a shiver ran up my spine.

There was a slight tremble in her voice as she ended the song.  I knew it was because she was crying underneath that mask but as always she holds out strong and finished the song as beautiful as ever.

The audience roared with applause bringing back some memories of when she went on tour with us.  Only her and one other person could get a crowd to sound just like that.

“She’s gotten stronger with her vocals.” My wife’s voice spoke from behind me.

“She was taught by the best. And she now coaches the best.” Ronnie took her place by my side, placing her hand on top of mine.

“You really should give her a ring sometime. I’m sure she’d love to hear from you.” I turned away from her.  “You can’t have the boys and me be your messengers forever. I know for a fact she’d be happy to hear your voice again.” I sighed deeply. “At least think about it my love.”

“I will.” I placed my hand on top of hers and gave her a light peck on the cheek.

“Are there any more performances of her on this show? Luke says she’s been all over the media being the Lioness.”

“Well that was the Semi-finals performance, let’s see if someone collab all of her performances together.” I went back to the search box and soon found about a half hours’ worth of (Y/n)’s performances. I clicked play and soon her 1st performance came up.

Seeing her dance reminded me of our times on the dance floor back in the day.  She was the only person able to keep up with my crazy dance moves, and that’s why she was always the perfect dance partner.  Even Ronnie agreed to that statement.

“That girl never changes. She’s still got it even after all these years.” Ronnie smiled.

“That she does love, that she does.” God she has grown so much since the last time we parted.  Her voice much more mature and able to do things she never did before. And some of the stuff that she’s doing on this show is bonkers.

Never did I think I’d see her on a makeshift wrecking ball or be lifted high above the stage on a swing with silk ropes dangling down from it.

I hope she takes the gold and win this little show of hers because she rightfully deserves it.

*FINALE*

It is time.  Do or die now.  It was me vs. Piglet vs. Chameleon.  After performing a beautiful, angelic performance with last season’s winner LeAnn Rimes, the finals were finally ready to start.

After a couple months of going from 14 down to 3, it all came down to this moment right here, to determine who was gonna be this season’s Masked Singer champion.  Chameleon went first and then I was going to be next.  Chameleon had stuck to his rapping but I could hear more singing out of him this time around and he actually had a pretty good voice.

“Up next. She’s been putting us through a roller coaster of emotions. From hard rock to ballad. Here is the last performance and your last chance to guess at who is beneath, the Lioness.”

FINAL CLUE PACKAGE.

I was walking through a tunnel slowly.  One foot in front of the other.

“Being on the Masked Singer has really been a lot of fun. When I first came on here, never did I think I was gonna make it this far.” The screen would show highlights of all my previous performances along with some additional clues.

Like a familiar band logo at the corner and season 3’s champion Night Angel’s wings. And the year 1981.

“This song was written by a very dear friend of mine. A friend that was taken from us far too soon. But it’s through this song that win or lose, I’ll always take with me till the day I die. Because no matter what, we will always make it through the tough times, especially with what we’re going through now with the Pandemic.”

The stage was dark except for a few lights as the familiar tune of Freddie’s last song he ever performed in the studio came on. I was having brief flashbacks of that day in the studio seeing him record this very song but I had to get my mind right as I sung the first verse.

Once the chorus kicked in, fire exploded from behind the stage as my rock and roll band came back on once more.  The stage was mine to command one last time as I walked across it for the chorus, giving it my all, just like Freddie did.

By the time the bridge came on, my voice was starting to tremble but I kept my emotions under control till the end of the song.  When I got around towards the end of the song, I would hold out a few of the notes till I finally belted out the last note much like Freddie did on the record.

And I swear it was like I could hear him singing alongside me, guiding me to hold the note out longer.

*Me*

Empty spaces, what are we living for? Abandoned places, I guess we know the score, on and on Does anybody know what we are looking for? Another hero, another mindless crime Behind the curtain, in the pantomime Hold the line Does anybody want to take it anymore?

The show must go on The show must go on, yeah Inside my heart is breaking My makeup may be flaking But my smile, still, stays on

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies Fairy tales of yesterday, grow but never die I can fly, my friends

The show must go on

Yeah, yeah! The show must go on

Oh yeah! Yeah! I'll face it with a grin I'm never giving in On with the show

I'll top the bill I'll overkill I have to find the will to carry on. On with the show. Show. The show must go on.

As the song ended, fireworks fell down from the roof and fire and smoke exploded from the side of the stage as I panted heavily with my arms extended outward.  With the last struck of the drums and guitar, I punched my fist into the air.

I sent a quick kiss to the Heavens as the audience went insane.  I saw all five judges on their feet applauding me.

“The Rock and roll Lioness showin us that the Show must always go on.” Nick praised.

“I swear each and every performance you do, it just gets better and better! You could just be this season’s winner.” Jenny told me.  I clenched my hands and did a victory gesture with them, I could only hope I’d win but it’s not up to me.

“I would agree. She just keeps escalating and escalating her performances and I’m just in awe whether it’s her rocking out or pulling our heartstrings with her raw voice.” Nicole said.  Even last year’s winner LeAnne said.

“Hearing this voice alone makes me feel like I’m looking at a champion singer here.” I placed my hand over my heart in thanks.

The judges then proceeded to do some more guesses, Robin and Nicole were saying that I was the Rock Angel while Jenny was saying that I could be Christina Aguilera and of course Dr. Ken (out of the blue) decided that I was Beyonce.

“So tell us Lioness, what would it mean to you to win this competition?” Nick asked me.

“Well Nick, winning would mean that I’ve given my fans a whole new side of me that they’ve never seen before. But even if I don’t win, I still had a blast being here.”

“We were happy to have you here. Give it up one more time for the Lioness everybody!” I waved to the audience and walked backstage.

“This whole experience has been a wild ride. But I had a lot of fun, win or lose.” I told the camera with the Men in Black behind me.

The Piglet then did his song, “Faithfully” by Journey and man did he kill it.  He definitely pulled my heartstrings with that performance.  So it could be a close race between him and I, or there could be a game changer and Chameleon could take the trophy as the first rapper to sing solely Rap/Hip-hop songs.

“Tonight was a star-worthy performance, but as we know only one can take home the Masked Singer trophy. Now it’s up to our judges and Superfans at home to vote for your favorite now.” I stood between Chameleon and Piglet with my hands together in a prayer.  “The votes are in. The contestant with the least amount of votes and in 3rd place is…….”

There was suspense in the air as I felt my foot shake just waiting for Nick to say which one of us got in 3rd place according to the votes of the judges as well as America.

“The Chameleon!” the audience gaped in shock. “That means Piglet and Lioness you both are safe and can head backstage before we call you both back out to crown a winner. Let’s make some noise for the Chameleon everybody!” I walked up to the Chameleon and extended my hand and we shook hands before I walked with Piglet at my tail as we both waited backstage.

About 10 minutes later, we were told to come back onto the stage to finally crown a winner of Season 5 of the Masked Singer. Piglet and I stood on opposite sides of Nick as he held in his hand, the envelope with the Winner’s name.

“Welcome back to the Masked Singer.  It is now time to crown our new Season’s champion. Piglet, or Lioness. Which one of you will be taking the golden masked trophy home? The votes are in by the judges and the super fans. And the winner is……..” I could see Piglet’s legs shaking as he has made them every time throughout this entire season, while I was rubbing my hands together nervously.

Nick opened the envelope before proclaiming into his microphone.

“THE PIGLET!!” confetti soon exploded covering both me and Piglet up with strings of blue and silver confetti.  Piglet stood there shocked while I clapped for him. He deserved the win, he did a great performance and a great song to close out this season with.  He took the golden mask trophy and danced with it as Nick said.  “Congrats again Piglet you are this season’s champion. Which means you can stand over there in the championship booth till it’s time to unmask you.”

Before Piglet left, I walked up to him and patted his shoulder before giving him a hug and he hugged me back.

“Aww Lioness is being all cuddly with our contestants here.” Piglet and I shook hands with each other for a good competition while I went back to my spot to be unmasked once and for all.  “Lioness you’ve wowed us week after week and as sad as we are to see you go, I think I speak for everybody here, we cannot wait to see who you are!”

The judges all agreed as well as the audience.

“But first, let’s bring out the first Impression guesses. Men in Black! Bring ‘em out!” I could already see the judges pleading for them to not to.  “Yeah it’s been like—months since you guys wrote these down.”

“Can we please not do this Nick?” pleaded Jenny.

“Too late. And the first guess is from…..Nicole.”

“Oh god.”

“You guessed……Christina Aguilera. Not a bad guess.”

“Yeah that really isn’t a bad guess. However I’m not gonna stick with that. Based off the clue package of LGBTQ, and growing up in a domestic abusive home, plus the recent clue package with the symbol of the band Queen’s logo and the Rock n Roll hall of fame right beside that. I’m gonna go with the Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline.”

“Okay. Okay. Let’s see who else we’ve got here……Robin!”

“Oh no.”

“You guessed……Pink.”

“Oh that’s not too bad.” He shrugged.

“You stickin with it?”

“I am not gonna stick with that. Like Nicole I did see the Queen logo in this week’s clue package and just going off by the voice alone. I re-listened to some old records and this is clearly the Rock Angel herself.”

“Alright 2 votes for the Rock Angel. Mrs. Jenny McCarthy.” Jenny sunk down in her chair as Nick grabbed her envelope and opened it up. “Your first impression of the Lioness was……also Pink.”

“Oh thank god I thought I had pulled a Ken guess.” She wiped her hand across her forehead as Ken exclaimed.

“Hey!”

“Ken sit down! Are you sticking with that guess.”

“No. The number code we were give, the 149121. Which I’ve coded as her tattoo for the date of Nov. 24th, 1991, the date when Freddie Mercury sadly passed away from complications from AIDS. And seeing how she talks about her family, her kids, her papa Lion. I’m going for (Y/n) Kline the Rock Angel!”

“Alright, alright, alright. Dr. Ken……” oh this outta be interesting to see who he thought I was at the first performance.  He opened Ken’s envelope and laughed.

“What? What did he write!?”

“Janet Jackson!” oh my god! That even got me weak in my knees as I laughed.

“With those dance moves I thought it could be her! No one could’ve done that dance better than she could! DON’T LAUGH AT ME!!”

“Are you sticking with that guess?”

“No because the clue package doesn’t support it. Okay so we’ve had LGBTQ, domestic abuse. She’s a family woman with 4 kids and apparently 2 grandkids. Although I think the grandkids is a lie. She went through some tough times throughout her personal life. This is none other than Lady Gaga! Welcome to the Masked Singer!”

“What?!” Nicole exclaimed.  “But she’s not a mom!”

“Well then she could be lying about the kids then too all I know is that the rest of my brilliant theories lead to Lady gaga!” I shook my head and placed my hands over my mask shaking my head in defeat. “See! She’s even admitting I’m right!”

“No she’s not she’s just done with how ridiculous your guess is.” Nick said.

“Well I don’t care. This is Lady Gaga and I’ll take it to my grave!”

“Alright. Ms. LeAnne. As our guest panelist you have the last say in who you think this might be.”

“First of all let me just say you are a super star whoever you are under there. If we had competed against each other last year, I would’ve been quaking in my boots.” We all laughed. “This is truly a rock legend under here with the few rare female rockstars that came with the time. And I actually got the privilege to see her perform with the band Queen one year for a birthday party. And there’s only one person that I’ve seen on stage that can sing with as much fire as you Lioness. And that is the Rock Angel herself.”

“Okay Panel. Everyone except for Ken Jong has agreed on their final guesses. Lioness! It is time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for. We wanna know—whose behind the mask. It is time for you to Take it off!”

“Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!” everyone soon started chanting.  I held my arms out in a shrug before shrugging my shoulders and finally reaching for my mask and tried to lift it off.  Nick was helping me as the audience and the judges kept chanting.  I could tell I was keeping them in suspense, just wait until they see it’s really me.

Finally the mask came off.

I shook my head and pulled my hair out of my face and the crowd went nuts, the judges all jumped up and cheered.

“THE ANGEL OF ROCK HERSELF! ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAMER! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE ONE AND ONLY (Y/N) KLINE!! THE ROCK ANGEL!!!”

“OH MY GOD!!” I heard some of the judges exclaim.

“Look how beautiful she is!” Nicole praised me. I waved to the audience and gave them a “Freddie Mercury” like bow with a twirl of my hand.

“Hello LA!” I said.

“Angel! Angel! Angel! Angel!” I heard the crowd chanting out.

“Wow it is such an honor and a privilege to be standing here next to a true Rockstar.”

“It’s an honor to be here Nick. Thank you all for having me here.” I told him.

“Tell us why did you choose to be in this show?”

“I know this answer gets told a lot but for me personally I speak from the hard truth that we should all strive to do different things cause—you never know which days are gonna be your last.” I hinted my potential death scare almost 20 years ago.  The judges all nodded in understandment.

“And I’m told that you also wanted to say something about this performance in particular?”

“Yes. The song I had done wasn’t originally my choice.” The audience as well as the judges all looked at me in surprise. “Originally the Producers wanted me to do a Katy Perry song, but……this coming November will mark the 30th anniversary of the day my boys and I lost our beloved Freddie. And…….being there the day he recorded this song in only one take. I felt in my soul that I had to do this for him. To give him a grand performance because due to this covid Queen and I aren’t touring till we feel it’s safe to start touring again, like many artists are. So I really wanted to honor Freddie with a performance that I hope did him proud.”

“Well you did just that.” Jenny told me.

“Thank you. And I’m glad you managed to catch that Jenny, you truly are the Masked Singer detective.” She pointed out to me and that’s when last season’s winner LeAnne said.

“I grew up listening, to both you and Queen. And—I can say for a fact that you definitely did Freddie Mercury proud. And it’s good that you and the remaining members of Queen continue his legacy. Sure it’s not the same as it was before but you don’t refer to him just in the past. But in the present.”

“Thank you LeAnne dear.” I thanked her as I blew her a quick kiss.

“I just gotta say (Y/n). You absolutely crushed the choreography with Janet’s song for your first performance as well as your wrecking ball routine. I think those were my favorite performances of yours, will we expect any of that once you start your solo tours back up?” Nicole asked me.  I laughed along with the audience.

“You never know.”

“Well it has truly been an honor to have you on our show. Now then ladies and gentlemen, to sing for us one last time give it up. For the artist formerly known as the Lioness, the Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline!” the audience applauded and I sung “The Show must go on” one final time for the audience.  Putting my heart and soul into the lyrics before finally belting out that last note in a different key before punching my fist into the air and sending a kiss towards the heavens for Freddie.

After the show all ended and a few days passed by, I did a livestream on my Instagram as well as my Youtube page telling my fans that I was indeed the Lioness and just talking about my experience on the show. Of course Bri, Rog and Adam blew up my phone with calls/texts/DM’s (mostly Adam. Bri and Rog still don’t quite get DM’s) telling me why I lied and did that show in the first place.

I gave them my straight answer that I wanted to have a bit of fun and do some type of performance and show the audience a whole new side of me when it came to performing.

I was just about to go to bed after bidding Georgie goodnight (he had to work a late nightshift tonight) when my phone rang. I picked it up to see it was an unknown number from London.  Curiously, I pressed the answer button and said.

“Hello?”

‘Sister dear.’ My heart stopped and I sat down on the bed.

“Brother mine?” I choked out.

‘Hey love. It’s uhh—been awhile, hadn’t it?’

“Try 20 years yah rotter.” I teased as we both softly chuckled. “What—how…..”

‘Laura sent me a video of you on the Masked Singer. The American one. You were beautiful up there.’ I placed my hand over my heart. ‘Although I do wish you had won. That—boy band person couldn’t hold a candle to you.’

“Oi now, Nick Lachey did just as well as I did.” I softly lectured him.

‘Well I still feel like you should’ve won.’ I smiled solemnly.

“Was it just because of the Masked Singer that you wanted to call me?”

‘That and…..’ he trailed off.  I lay against my bed and softly spoke to him.

“Deacy?”

‘I…….’ he sighed heavily. ‘I know I haven’t been the best at keeping contact.’

“John.” For the first time since……probably back when I was an intern for Miami all the way back in the autumn of 1980, I called him by his first name (unless I referred to him him by his full name did I call him John, most of the time it was Deacy).  “I get it. Plus my schedule has been quite hectic. And you—you’ve been busy yourself. After all Queen would’ve fallen decades ago without your financial brain.” We both shared another laugh.

From then one we talked pretty much the entire night up until it was almost 6am my time before we finally said our goodbyes. It was sweet to hear from him once again after so long.  Now whether or not I’ll ever hear from him again, I don’t know.

But at least I know my Brother Mine is still keeping his eye out for me, in one way or another.