#she feels like the older sister representation i NEEDED when i got a younger sibling

[asimpledreamwanderer]

i'm a little ill right now and honestly don't have motivation to make sketches (i haven't posted my art here in a long ass time- and honestly good for me because i look back to those pictures and think damn, was that me??) so here's some little emily headcanon / backstory thing i came up with based on these facts about her on the ttte wiki and the official wikipedia page about her basis:

so without furder ado, my emily backstory headcanon(s):

so we all know that emily is the safety engine- and compared to the other members of the steam team, she doesn't get herself into very silly accidents or derails often- sure, sometimes she can't read the atmosphere or does gestures that aren't exactly helpful to a specific situation (such as getting mavis flowers when she was down), but she's very introspective, often being able to tell what's up with her friends and frankly, doing odd jobs until she becomes the safety engine- but also having a bit of a bossy attitude about her when it comes to such things, like bossing around thomas and percy following a storm, and becoming impatient when she feels as if the other engines have little regard for their work or her work- but the question remains- why?

it's known that emily's engine class faced issues with traction and staying smoothly on the rails- something that we see frequently in the model series, she lightly "rocks and rolls" on the track- additionally, her engine class got into two big derailment accidents- one where the engine derailed on broken rail, killing a passenger, and one where the removal of a speed restriction on the track caused the engine to derail and kill two people

additionally, only the first of the class is left preserved in the current day- i headcanon that in ttte, this engine was last minute bought by the fat controller to help out on the northwestern railway- something that emily remains thankful for, but unused to.

i headcanon that since most of her class was removed from service around the 1890's (just around when edward was born), emily has little to no experience about railways in the more recent times, and that emily remained pulling passenger trains on her former railway with an "engines are seen, not heard" attitude- similar to what duke says to peter sam and sir handel about his younger days. additionally, since emily was the first of her class, i would assume she would be subject to more experimentation and/or exposure of what actually happens to engines rather quickly, given her curious personality- she would probably spend a lot of time at the steamworks on the gnr, with the workers there adoring her curious personality and her desire to be learning new things- leading to them talking to her through any and every modification she might receive, any repairs she might receive, any repairs that other engines might receive- the works. the workers there treat her very humanly, almost as if she's purely a human without arms or legs- they let her smell and experience the texture of human food and drinks (receiving some funny reviews from her in the process), read the paper out loud to her, teach her how to do things such as mathematics and telling her about literature- you get the point. around when her class became decomissioned and the railway preparing to send the other engines for scrap, the workers talked to her about it- and her reaction was very very human. more human than most other workers had seen throughout their lifetime.

while emily was devastated over her siblings' deaths, she also remained confused- she had not officially been named by her controller at the time, and she experienced the same issues as the rest of her class did, but up until then was lucky to never have derailed or killed another being in the process. the engines on the gnr were given numbers after older locomotives- essentially taking their places on the railway as the older locomotives would soon be forgotten- making emily wonder "why? why do i deserve to stay and be preserved and restored to working order while all my siblings are sent for scrap?" this also made her feel queasy about being a new engine and/or about seeing new engines on the railway- she began to worry about how it was unfair, that older engines would be sent to scrap as newer ones came, but also terrifying her to realize that they didn't even stand some sort of protection in the process, and that the vast majority of steam locomotives would eventually face the same fate as their predecessors (additionally, i like to think the gnr had a "no-fraternizing-during-work" policy for the engines, and most of the engines would be too exhausted at the end of the day for deeper conversations with one another- also leading to emily panicking about who even are the engines she worked with, what are their likes/dislikes, etc- this also leads to why she got frustrated at thomas when he slept with her in the sheds in calling all engines but that's a point i'll get to later)- sure, she spoke to the engines while they worked, and in fact sometimes told them what was going on and tried to reassure them while she was in the works- but it was never enough to keep the guilt about her being chosen to be preserved and an engine's life cycle away.

due to all of these things- most of emily's relaxed conversation occuring with humans, the majority of her knowledge coming from humans and their perspective, and the lack of fraternizing with other engines while at work, emily became somewhat stunted developmentally- sure, she's older than edward by a good twenty years- but she doesn't even know how to act on a running railway anymore- after all, the times have changed. this leads to emily's occasional short temper with the other engines, and even leads to the events when we first meet her, where she takes thomas' coaches on accident- she was not used to asking, she simply did as she was told on her own railway- twisting her attempts at becoming friendly with the engines on sodor at first

when sir topham hatt first bought her, the workers at the steamworks were delighted that emily would not only be able to run again, but that she would be in a place that she would be cared for, that sir topham hatt would be able to put the time and energy into repairing her and taking care of her that the workers at the gnr were beginning to lose access to- this led to a little "going away" party for emily- many tears were shed, and many memories were shared- even if now most of the workers are gone, emily looks back at them fondly, probably telling the engines about her times with them, and her times on the gnr.

here's where emily's safety engine backstory comes through- remember how her engine class used to derail and "rock and roll" quite often? this led to her become a worrywart- not just about herself, but about the other engines and their safety as well- she was concerned about henry when his tubes were leaky, she stood up for salty against thomas and percy's teasing, she looks at james and thomas almost like her little brothers (because obviously, they get into some of the dumbest and most careless accidents- and in the earlier series, don't really learn from it)- the list goes on, but she essentially ends up worrying about herself and the other engines A LOT. however, deep down this is because of her revelation about scrapping while she was at the gnr- she herself does not want to be scrapped, but she doesn't want any of her new friends to be scrapped either- especially since many perfectly working steam locomotives would be sent to the scrapyard at alarming rates.

now this is where her probably not socializing with many other engines whilst working or resting during her time at the gnr comes in- remember when thomas sleep whistles, keeps chatting off to her, and snoring when they shared a shed together? and just how annoying she found it? i believe she was overstimulated by it, seeing that she was still a rather new engine at the time, and slept by herself at knapford sheds. secretly, she was probably scared thomas' sleep whistling might send her away, or distract her from her rest and cause issues tomorrow- when she realizes that that isn't the case, when thomas leaves she begins to feel lonely, having enjoyed the company of her friend and realizing that nothing was going to happen to either of them after all- and when she was invited to take a berth at tidmouth sheds, she was delighted- with some learning curves, obviously- after all, she's very new to this

i imagine that edward would take to her endearingly, realizing that she's probably having an inner conondrum she doesn't openly speak of, thus being easier on her- he would also probably wonder how he ended up being an engine younger than her by the years but older in personality, but chooses to not mention it- sometimes they get along talking about their days on their old railways, and it would imagine they can get into pretty deep philosophical conversations (do engines have philosophy?) if emily ever lets her guard down

similarly, henry would probably look to her for advice and learning how to stand up for himself, and being kinder- not only was he more of a cynical character in the early series, but he was also very very ill- and that combined with his desire to prove himself past all his ailments probably turned him into a very harsh person- something he originally couldn't really understand- and something that emily was able to help him through, talking about his feelings

obviously in the series she also has her bossy moments, being impatient when clearing up the rails from a storm and taking gordon's express- i imagine that it was taken control of by sir topham hatt in a much different manner, remembering how emily was at the gnr's steamworks- he speaks to her almost like a teenager about her actions, letting her bask and self reflect instead of immediately assigning her to other work until she can be trusted again- thus making her one of his more sensible engines

however, emily does have her own moments of not being so sensible- for example, when she wished to be streamlined like caitlin, admiring her (and victor was basically like nah you don't need that 💀)- insecurity from her old age and wishing to be something more than just an odd jobs engine probably made her a little bit insecure. another great example is when she's with whiff- obviously, she's not one for smells, but to go on and laugh at him and be frantic about being seen with him just because her peers laughed at him? clearly she had a moment of smokebox fog there.

i imagine that emily actually wouldnt have much prejudice towards diesels- sure, she got mad at him for taking the coaches when being ill, but that was because he was ill and pushing himself- it has nothing to do with him being a diesel (something i assume would surprise diesel, especially for such an old engine like emily)- i believe that she wouldn't even know what diesels actually are for a while, but she would see them as any useful engine, and that once she did learn about the steamie/diesel conflict she would try to calm her inner crisis about scrapping- sir topham hatt wouldn't do that, and they're only doing their purpose after all

additionally, emily probably doesn't take kindly to hearing about engines getting scrapped- in her younger days, she probably remained blissfully unaware of the mechanics of it, but as she got older and learned more about scrapping it probably terrifies her, and she believes that all engines can be useful and don't deserve to be damned to the scrapyard for any reason

back to thomas and james? yeah. she probably sees them as her "annoying little brothers" that she loves very dearly- which is confirmed for james in a magazine story- but it's definitely a much different relationship than what she had with younger engines at the steamworks, with her relationship with the two being more freeflowing. i assume james has some sort of insecurity about being a "failed prototype" and an experimental engine on his old railway, and emily manages to help him get through it while talking about the positives and the actual mechanics of it, and reaffirming that he still is a really useful and really good engine.

and as for thomas? playful banter. so much banter. sometimes they act silly and fight like actual human siblings would, but at the end of the day they do care for eachother deeply- think of her having to hold a metaphorical leash on him, at times 😭

back to emily's conondrums- this leads to her being a very safe engine- in fact, being one of the safest on sir topham hatt's railway- initially i imagine she wouldn't care much for not being numbered, as it soothed her inner panic of not taking a scrapped engine's place, but over time as she began to heal i imagine that she would desire it in some way- and experience such delight when she is numbered and given the position! she wears her number very proudly on the nwr and is very very proud of being the nwr's safety engine :)

sheesh, this was LONG- i'm taking some time away from the phone- if you managed to make it this far i hope you're having a lovely day :) (also can you tell i'm an older sister 💀💀)

[xxmothangelxx]

Shady Rambles Dislyte Part 2

So about Tang Mei, if you don't know who she is let me give you a quick rundown before I continue:

Tang Mei was who Tang Xuan currently is, she was Tang Yun's twin and patroned by Sun Wukong — she was changed into Tang Xuan after Dislyte received complaints about having a female character represent Sun Wukong. I won't speak too much on it, mostly bc I'm not Chinese, but what I will say is it's kind of a moot point imo in a game where Nezha patrons a grown man and Nut patrons a teenage high school girl but I digress.

Omg congrats on the transition Xuan

But all jokes aside, I feel she could somehow still work in Dislyte, and I have a few ideas as to how!

The first is obvious, they could canonize Xuan being trans, not only would that do good for them PR wise, but who doesn't love some good representation here and there. Though that does mean that Mei would be who Xuan once was instead of her own distinct character, and ngl I kinda want her to be a thing, but that doesn't mean Xuan can't still be trans... 👀👀👀👀👀

My second idea is have her be a 3rd sibling, she doesn't have to be a triplet or anything, but a Tang regardless. Actually, let me use this as an excuse to share my little idea:

Tang Mei, patroned by Erlang Shen (二郎神), is the older sister to both twins, maybe late 20s-early 30s. Guided by a deity that embodies justice, I don't think she would work for any of the currently established factions or organizations (esper union, shadow decree etc.) instead, I believe she would work as a very, very high-end lawyer.

Here me out; all her life Tang Mei had always been the sort who cared a lot about right and wrong. If her parents set a rule in the home she would never break it, she never got in trouble at school, always got good grades and never skipped a day. She was the type who would report people for breaking rules, and was an all around perfect child. When she became an older sibling she promised herself she would guide them to be the best people they could be. This however meant that she wasn't – and still isn't – typically 'fun'. She follows rules to a T and is completely unbaised in situations, not caring for how people feel or nuance, only caring if something was right or wrong and allowed them to improve as people.

This attitude, which only got stronger as she got older and received her new godly abilities, is what allowed her to excell both as an esper and a lawyer. I imagine she's worked quite closely with Abigail, who has absolutely had to fight quite a few legal battles in her day. The calm and collected lawyer who only ever wears a coy smile is feared by her fellow attorneys, and has only ever lost a single case in her whole tenure. Due to this, she only really defends or prosecutes high-end cases and people – she's basically a celebrity attorney.

As for her relationship with her siblings, it's... complicated. She likes Xuan, and he likes her, but her rigid and incredibly mature attitude makes it so he feels like he has to be a certain way when she's around. Xuan feels like he can't be fully himself around her or she'll chastise him for still acting like a little boy, or question his whole 'super hero' behavior. They're still close, but she intimidates him a whole lot.

Mei's relationship with Yun is gone. As kids it was obvious she preferred him over Xuan ever so slightly, they were both introverts so I imagine the two would have to reel in Xuan when they were younger. Mei's strong sense of right and wrong meant it broke her heart when Yun became a member of the Shadow Decree, who she viewed as a glorified terrorist organization, and her view of the quiet, well behaved boy became that of a good-for-nothing delinquent, one that needed to be taken off the streets. Although he was her little brother, and she loved him, Mei was very adamant of bringing him to justice and making him experience the full extent of the law. This of course causes some rift between her and Xuan: whilst Xuan believes Yun is just being led astray and can be brought back to the good side, Mei believes he's just a criminal now, and thus must be treated as such.

When it comes to Mei's relationship with other characters (aside from the aforementioned Abigail) I think Mei would be friendly with Celine and Melanie, frequenting for some drinks and talking with them. She's had a few run ins with Triki, who she cannot stand, and of course has met Xuan's friends Li Ling and Lewis. Due to her strict and not very fun-loving personality, she would get along quite well with Ashley, who she sometimes talks to and visits when she has some free time. Though, Mei doesn't really keep friends, she keeps acquaintances and allies, with her brother being her only true friend.

As an Esper, since we have a legendary Tang and a rare Tang, Mei would be an epic, specifically wind-attuned. I imagine her as a controller, and though I don't have a whole moveset planned, for some reason I feel she would be able to petrify – not sure why though lol.

Im sorry this was just my excuse to show off my Tang Mei OC SMDMDKDKKD

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Lauren IG Live///Anxiety

I was part of my night thinking about Lauren's Instagram Live. Especially where she talks about her anxiety and what triggered the problem. She mentioned that her anxiety came much further back in time when the TXF thing happened and by browsing her blog I was able to understand one of the reasons why her anxiety could have been so tangible.

It is a clear sign that Lauren apparently grew up with the typical pressure of the older sister. The one who has to get good grades, be the first in the class, give a good image to the younger siblings and follow the rules, leaving the younger siblings free to do whatever they want because they are younger. And Lauren's post about her sister listening to the TV in loud volume as she tries to study seems to confirm it. Since I joined the fandom and got to know Lauren a little, I realized that the dynamics of her and her family were different than the rest of the girls. Especially with Camila but I do not want to put Camila much in this post yet so I will leave it at that. I always felt Lauren more removed from her family. More in their vibe than spending a lot of time with them. I wasn't here during TXF or when Fifth Harmony started but apparently Lauren's parents weren't as involved in taking care of the girls as the rest of the parents, am I wrong? That does not mean that they were not there, because they were, but apparently not in the way that, for example, Sinu was always there with them. For me Sinu Cabello was the second mom of all the girls during all that time and I do not know why but I love to know But back to Lauren and the trigger of her anxiety. If we see the context of where she grew up, with the friends she grew up with. She talked about the pressure of trying to fit into an environment that wasn't really hers, (starting because Lauren was a scholarship student in a private school with a friend with a dad and yes, I'm talking about Lucy Vives), trying to keep up with her. her friends who always lived a more comfortable situation and we all know that Lauren was always more humble is a point to keep in mind. Especially because of how badly Lauren has always brought fame.

This photo is very special to me because of how her and Lauren's friends look. In the image I feel Lauren as a little dot too cute to be surrounded by popular girls. (And beware, that does not mean that they are bad friends because I like their friends, my reference is not if the girls are good with Lauren or not, but rather I am talking about the image itself. The visual representation of the photo) . But the pressure of wanting to fit into a group that doesn't really belong to you or doesn't feel 100 percent identified is bullshit. Should not exist. There should be no social groups or pigeonholes. That is the most damaging thing that can exist within a school, university or even work environment. The human being should be free to roam around as many groups as he wants, take experiences from different people and not be identified as part of a certain group just because of your style of dress or if you have money or not. I hate that stupid hierarchy with all my soul. I am grateful that I did not have that in my college years, I was more a free spirit who went at my own pace and used to get together with the people with whom I was more in tune and tried to talk to everyone. I never felt that pressure to fit in because I was always in lay public schools. But Lauren's pressure was triple. Not only did she feel the need to fit in, but she also had to hide for years her sexual preference for fear of discrimination and bullying.

Every time I think about it, it fucks my soul because it's not fair. It's not fair that she had to go through all of that before TXF and then all the shit that happened during the band time ... Lauren if you ever read this I admire you girl. Fuck, I wouldn't have survived that shit a million years. How they manage to survive extreme pressure, because the industry is toxic that really hurts you. I do not know. But if there is one good thing behind TXF and Fifth Harmony it is that it brought together a group of girls so different that they fit in. Just like Camila and Lauren fit separately or just like Dinah and Normani fit (Poor Ally always hangs in the air ...) I don't know if my point was understood but I understand Lauren's constant struggle and that she will have to deal with it for the rest of her life, but I'm sure the years will give her more wisdom, more temperance. She will have more tools to deal with what comes her way because if there is one good thing that the years leave you with it is the experience and the opportunity to know yourself more and she will achieve it. Lauren, Camila, Dinah, Normani and Ally are survivors. Survivors from an environment as toxic as the music industry but I think that with a good support system behind them, they will be fine. And Lauren, she will be even wiser than she already is and I hope to continue here to see it.

[korra-the-red-lion]

Let’s Talk About Cartoons.

Hey people, Korra is back with yet another long post, so be prepared.

Recently, I’ve found myself watching more cartoons again. So I just wanted to talk about some stuff on cartoons. So, the one thing I need you to keep in mind while reading this post is that these shows made be enjoyed by all audiences, the targeted age range is children. Children between the ages of 8-12 most of the time. So yeah, keep that thought.

I love Avatar, Korra (my username sake lol) Voltron, She-Ra and so many others. I would say these shows are some of the ones aimed at a bit of an older audience. But I also enjoy the Owl House, W.I.T.C.H., Ben 10, the Loud House, and others. I would say these shows are roughly aimed at that 8-10 range. What is it about these shows that I love? Hmm, there are many different reasons for as to why. But there are a few things that come to mind. Good representation, dark topics dealt with in a mature way, funny and lovable characters, silly buffer episodes, and endings that fit the show.

Voltron Legendary Defender had its issues, but I’m not focusing on that just yet. What the show did well is having a group of diverse characters. Lance, Hunk, Shiro, Allura are all PoC. Most of the characters in the show are in fact PoC, which is really awesome to see. The show dealt with themes of loneliness, war, colonization, loss, and found family. I think for the most part, everything was well done. Was the queer rep done pretty poorly? Yup, I think it’s fair to say it was. But it doesn’t outweigh the other things the show dealt with in a great way. Keith saying “I love you” to Shiro in a completely platonic way was SO IMPORTANT. Men saying I love you and crying and hugging and being able to be emotional and still considered strong is something that still needs to be normalized. It’s still one of the few shows I’ve seen this happen, and since the show is considered to be aimed at “boys” makes it even more important to me.

I could go on for days about how amazing the queer rep in She-Ra is. Adora and Catra was teased and I was worried for a little there that it was going to happen, but then IT DID. THEY KISSED. But not only that, we saw Scorpia have a crush on Catra, Mermista had a crush on She-Ra, Perfuma showed interest in both Bow and Scorpia. Seahawk is such a bi disaster. Double Trouble was one of the first non-binary characters I’ve seen on not just kid’s tv, but in all of tv. Queerness was the norm for She-Ra, it was more strange that Hordak was straight. Now, She-Ra also dealt with themes of identity, abuse, war, love, loss, and more. She-Ra isn’t perfect, but damn it is one of my favourite shows I’ve watched in a while. It’s really amazing.

There’s a reason why Avatar and Korra have a legacy. ATLA holds up. I just finished my rewatch and it still holds up. Are there some stinkers in s1? Yeah, haha. The Great Divide is a pretty rough episode to get through. But these two shows were things I watched growing up. I was the targeted age when Avatar first aired. The themes of abuse, colonization, genocide of a culture, misogyny, and like a billion other topics are addressed in such a mature way, but in a way that kids can understand without it being spoon-fed to them. Master Pakku is such jerk and it’s clear that people know this. The show doesn’t shy away from the damage caused by the Fire Nation. The Legend of Korra has a bit more of darker tone and mature themes, and I feel like they’re dealt with really well. And let’s not forgot that all characters are PoC and and Korrasami was a canon couple, the first of the time. Also, please remember that Korrasami was a BREAKTHROUGH FOR LGBTQA diversity for kid’s television. Respect, big respect.

Kipo and Owl House are two new shows I just started and I’m really enjoying them a lot. The Owl House s1 was so good and I loved all those goofballs. I think I would die for Eda, and Amity is such a dork. Kipo has been really fun and it’s got a great diverse cast of characters, hope it gets a s3! I’m enjoying the Dragon Prince as well, though I do find myself not enjoying it as much as some others are.

Now, after all that has been said. It’s okay to dislike an aspect of a show, or point out the flaws. But at the end of the day, it is aimed at kids. I’ve had people say to me “it’s aimed at kids but they know the audience are adults” and “kids aren’t watching this stuff, they’ve got other stuff to watch.” Yo, that attitude needs to stop please. Kids are watching this stuff. My younger siblings watched all those shows mentioned above, most of them before I even heard of them. My youngest sister LOVES Kipo, she thinks it’s amazing. All media has flaws. It’s silly to think that it doesn’t. Even ATLA has it’s issues, but they’re not large enough to take away from the show. We as the older audience need to stop gatekeeping and acting as if children aren’t watching, because they are. So remember when pointing out the flaw or tearing into something for whatever reason, maybe take a step back for a minute. Shows aimed at kids, regardless, have more constrictions. There are jerks out there who think kids shouldn’t have LGBTQA characters, people who think shows shouldn’t deal with heavy topics, that silly buffer episodes ruin the show for them.

You love these shows, but remember that kids out there do too. Themes that we are used to seeing are so much more nuanced and mature, because they have to be able to showcase it in a way that a kid may understand it, but not in a horrific Game of Thrones style gorefest. Themes that kids should see. I can’t imagine the emotional impact Catra and Adora finally leaving their abuser had. Or Zuko standing up to his father. Or Luz’s mother not understanding her quirkiness. Or so. much. more.

So yeah, I love cartoons. So do my siblings. Love them for everything they are, and be critical of them for sure, but don’t ruin it for the ones that it’s aimed at. Those kids are going to grow up and be amazing humans, and they’re going to create even more awesome things they wished they had when they were young. Remember that.

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House Reviews: The Purrfect Gig

The Sam/Luna trilogy comes to an end here, as we get to the most recent of their now annual episodes, each so far produced and aired toward the end of the season. That being said like last season Sam had at least one apperance before this as I saw her in the thumbnail to “Deep Cuts”, the OTHER Lunacentric episode this season. And while it sounded bad to me at first looking into it.. no. The writers, for the most part, gave almost every kid two episodes a piece, and last season gave each 3, so to the writers credit they TRY to ballance out who gets episodes.  

The exceptions are Lincoln, who has around 5 that don’t also feature the girls as a whole, and 2 of those are with Lana, Lori who has 4, 2 of them shared and justifed as she’s possibly leaving for College next season and thus her episodes outside of one focus ont hat, and Lana and Lola: Lana has 3, and Lola has 2, and both have one together. And really even with those imballances it’s really impressive the show juggles 14 leads, with the parents themselves getting 2 this year too, along with Clyde, not counting his ones with Lincoln. | And that’s WITH the baffling decision this season to have the first 5 episodes be “With THe Cassagrandes”, i.e. 5 episodes of the Casagrandes that are counted as loud house episode that weren’t produced over at the sister show for some reason. And I have nothing against the Cassagrandes, what i’ve seen it’s not a bad show: I already have gone on about how much I love bobby, and I also love CJ and new comer Sam. I love the fact it has plenty of representation and a diffrent kind of big family, I love the theme song and I love the fact Melissa Joan Heart is on it because she’s terrific and spent the last decade really not picking her roles well. She was the lead in Holiday in Handcuffs, aka the movie where she kidnaps Mario Lopez and holds him at gunpoint to pretend to be her fiance until he gets Stockholm syndrome for really flimsy reasons. But I dont’ feel i’ts fair to the show to wedge it into another show’s spot: The Cassagrande-Santiago clan has shown up in 2 half hour loud houses and 2 15 minute eps. The kids watching KNOW these characters, and reception of the loudest mission was positive enough to get a spinoff made. You don’t need to spend a huge amount of another show’s episode order to promote a show kids will likely watch because it has characters from a show that airs all the time and is uber popular and has a similar humor style, and fans of the Loud House will at least try becuase they like the mothership and have known was coming for years now. This show HAD an audience going in. I watched both American Dad and the Clevland Show because it was from the same crew as family guy which I liked at the time. Granted American Dad had a decent stretch and Clevland Show .. had David LYnch as a recurring cast member I guess? Seriously david, this and not gravity falls? The point is it feels insulting that they felt the need to try and promote the show more, and all they did was take up episodes of the loud house and confuse children, and possibly turn viewers off a show they would’ve watched anyways. And if your wondering why I took such a massive detour it’s simple: Other than noticing the fact they’ve been specifically making sure each sibling gets more than one spotlight episode, shared or not, and this dumb decision.. Season 4 isn’t THAT much diffrent than Season 3. It carries on plots started there  (Lori heading towards college, Luann and Luna’s relationship), but otherwise it’s basically just more shipping and shenanigans. But really. .that’s far from a bad thing, as I consider season 3 a highwater mark for the show, and it introduced a lot of neat new elements (Lynn’s Table, Stella, Leni having a job) that are still prevelant in season 4. It’s not bad and it’s even more understandable given that next season, every character is growing a year (thank you press releases), meaning they have tons of new plots to explore, and large status quo shifts with Lincoln going to middle school, which out of the four schools shown is so far the most underdeveloped and will need development, and Lori possibly moving out of the house and going to college, among many other things that have me chomping at the bit for next season. But that’s probably a few months away so for now, it’s time to get back on focus and with everything else out of the way, the actual review of this episode starts under the cut. 

We open with Luna sitting in bed sighing when her poster of Mick Swagger starts talking to her. Whatever she’s smoking I could really use some. Depression is a bitch. Anyways, her drug induced hallucination of her hero starts talking to her. I haven’t really talked about Mick yet since the show uses him sporadically but he’s exactly what you’d expect; The show’s version of Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, only slightly younger.. maybe. I dunno. Maybe he’s been around since the 60′s and is just a timelord. Or a groovy robot. Or has a dorian grey thing going on. We haven’t really gotten into Dino Spimoni situation yet where Luna helps her idol and has to help him reunite with a partner or convince him to stop faking his death. Just a reminder that Hey Arnold is great and that if you think it’s odd his crooner dean martin based idol got talked out of faking his death by a 12 year old, keep in mind he also tracked down the daughter his vitamise neighbor gave up so she could go to america and have a better life, helped convince his neighbors not divorce, and had to save his pig from being eaten in a revolutionary war reinactment. Hey Arnold was far weirder than I remembered and i’m here for it.  Anyways, Hallucination Mick asks if Luna is coming to his concert this weekend, and she HOPES so she just dosen’t have the money for  VIP pass to meet the actual version and do drugs with the actual mick swagger for a change. He says you never know when opportunity will come a knockin and it does in the form of the McBrides! Clyde’s dad’s Howard, the skinny one voiced by national treasure Micheal McDonald and Wayne Brady whose also great.. and i’m not just saying that because i’ve seen this. Don’t be absurddddd....

Howard and Harold are Clyde’s dads... and while Clarence and Steven Universe beat them to having Gay parents in a children’s cartoon, their still the first interacial gay couple in a children’s cartoon, and on a nicktoon period, and even if they weren’t either of those it’d still be fucking great. Anyways the two are nice characters, while i haven’t seen EVERY ep with them their a loving couple, nice parents, and treat the loud kids as their own.. granted that goes too far in one episode, but still, thems good people.  Anyway Howards having a panic attack, respect, and as his husband calms him down, we find out why: the mcbrides are going to pick up nana for the annual family reunion, and their catsitter cancled. Hence Howard’s freakout and Harold worrying about the 20 pounds of amish potato salad in the trunk. So naturally their hoping someone can watch their cats, Cleopawtra and Nefurtiti for the day, and them going to the louds makes sense, both for the obvious of the Louds being their closest friends in the neighborhood, and the not so obvious of a previous episode I haven’t seen having established the older kids as the best babysitters in royal woods, meaning that in addition to knowing them they have skill and this likely isn’t the first time. Luna, not thinking about herself, admits Lori went to hit the golf course early and Leni is at work, a nice way to explaning why it’s Luna that gets the job: She was there and it was implied by the fact she was getting high and talking to her hallucination that Luann isn’t, so most of the other options they’d have without some reservations are gone with no contrivance necessary.  Anyways Luna’s Drug Fueld hallucination,  points out money can be exchanged for goods and services, such as VIP passes, and also mentions sam already has hers. Either Luna’s forgot or her hallucination can use her phone. Either is probable, and is backed up by Hallucination Sam, before both start playing their guitars and Luna air guitars with them. I”m unsuprsied by all of this. She offers and the McBrides take her up on it immeditley. I do like that it avoids the “I don’t know if your up to this” cliche that always happens in these types of scenarios, the McBrides have no reason not to trust her, so they just.. do. Hell Harold only sets out one rule: don’t invite anyone over.. and it’s not even because he dosen’t trust Luna to have anyone over or anything like that, he just knows the cats get anxious with a crowd, though their therapist is working with them on that. And of course the two rich men with a single child have a cat therapist. I would too if I were rich. Harold and Clyde throw and unconcious Howard into the car and their off, they’ll be back at 6. And TOTALLY won’t be home hours early for hyjinks. Totally.  Luna arrives to find a massive binder on feline care. Someone went to the Amy Santiago school of binders. It says to feed the cats at 10 sharp.. and it’s 10:02. Luna tries feeding them but the cats instead attack her in a full on psycotic rage and dump food all over her, so dinners on her. 

Anyways, Luna then tries walking the cats which goes as well as you’d expect.. not because she had to put harneses on cats and expect them to do anything at a certain time, but because they pull hard. I can relate to that with my dog.. not my cat. He just goes wherever he wants because he’s old and kind of an asshole.  Anyways, with the cats now messy from running over a guy with a cake, because of course, Luna looks up what to do next which is.. give.. them a bath. 

Who.. who does that. I know their messy, but use a rag or something. No animal likes being bathed but cats, esepcially one who this episodes shows aren’t declawed (And rightfully so but still), do not LIKE being bathed. Granted they wouldn’t like being cleaned off with a rag or something either, but it still feels less cruel to both them and any prospective babysitter to just hold one down and wipe it off then find the other and repeat. Look witht he walking thing I can see why someone would, in their case because their probably too skittish to let their cats wonder around, and in some cases because said cat is young. But this.. this even for a comedy contrivance is stupid. It’s not the worst uninetional cat abuse i’ve seen in media, Elmyra exists and the mother of the lead of get fuzzy tried putting her cat on a vegetarian diet, which Rob, said lead and a staunch vegetarian himself, not only found concerning but gave said cat the money for takeout.. keep in mind in this strip cats can talk and walk upright. Also I miss when Get Fuzzy was both daily and good. So Luna naturally ends up in the bathtub, soaked and depressed and not sure what to do when her friendly neighborhood sign that the drugs haven’t worn off yet comes by and tells her to shape up if she wants to go to the show with Sam. This gives Luna a great idea. LIke a Zack MOrris great idea it involves breaking the rules.. unlike a Zack Morris idea, it dosen’t involve sexual harassment or a zany scheme. She decides to call Sam, since she’s apparently great with cats and given we saw how she was with chickens last time, not a real stretch. She also pops Mick’s bubble which.. hurts him.. somehow. I dunno.  Anyway cut to Sam arriving. She arrived fast because she was picking a new character up from his gamer’s club meeting: Her brother Simon, who’d been mentioned in side materials but makes his first apperance here. I like him, he has a neat design and i’ts nice to give sam a family life of her own, and he’s a nice if glued to his not-nintendo switch kid. Frankly I hope he and LIncoln meet at some point. I mean he has an opening in his friend group starting next season there’s no way Rusty passes 5th grade. And even if he somehow does, it’s not like adding another member is too much of a stretch given, once they got past courting her, the rest of his group warmly welcomed stella in and it’d be an intresting dynamic having his sister’s girlfriend’s brother in the group. Also if your wondering if i’ll ever stop finding ways to bash rusty in these reviews even when he’s entirely absent..

Anyways, Luna slams the door in the kids face, which he takes in stride , and explains the situation, and after fred fliintstonning him is taken off the table, go with “Sneak him past the cats”. It works because cats never look up at the backs of a gay teenage couple sneaking a small child inside. Luna decides to leave Simon in the entertainment room while she and Sam watch the cats and he finds Clyde’s VR gear and asks to try it on, with Luna reluctantly agreeing as long as he’s careful.. which as far as we see.. yeah he entirely is. The Sharpe’s are good people. 

Cue a montage! Sam helps luna scrub the cats, with brushes as they should’ve done minute one, put them through spa type pampering which is also a call back to the first time we saw the McBride’s house in the series, take selfies, and then sing the cats to sleep, in a really sweet and really well sung lullaby, notable for being the first time Sam’s sung on the show and Allyson Stoner, who I haven’t mentioned but should’ve before this shame on me, does a terrific job and has done a terrific job as Sam in general. Luna thianks her for the help, Sam says no sweat they get to see the show together, and Sam ducks out... before realizing she forgot something. Her wallet... no wait she has that.. OH SHIT HER BROTHER. And before she can get him DOUBLE OH SHIT THE MCBRIDES ARE BACK.  Harold is grumbling about the potato salad... apparenlty Aunt Brenda brought some and wasn’t supposed to. I do like how both McBride dads have their own quirks:While Harold IS the more rational one, he can slip up just like anyone can. Luna prepares to leave.. only to realize oh shit her girlfriend’s brothers in the house still. Her not all complex scheme! She fakes having left something behind to get him out, and once sam calls comes up with a plan: Sneak Simon around back. Sam sneaks around with the bush she ducked into, and we get one of my faviorite tropes: A scooby doo doors sequence! Also the dads speak in unison. Dawww. We also get an adorable bit of Sam gesturing for Luna to hand her the boy. I couldn’t find a gif of it sadly, and I would’ve credited it, but I did find 50 tons of creepy Sam X LIncoln fanart. Just.. why. Why exactly. Why do you do this to me tumblr. And to be clear I have ZERO issue with shipping a character whose sexuality isn’t fully confirmed as just gay in canon with a male character, Bi and Pan representation is important. It’s why I get annoyed at the people who throw a hissy fit any time Della Duck is shipped with Launchpad. Here though I do because it feels like this ship is ENTIRELY a troll, especially since LIncoln has 80 other options, not at all including the icky incest ones, and that I cut and dry have every problem with, and is being done soley to annoy people who ship sam and Luna and are finally enjoying some gay/bi representation on children’s television. If this is a troll then kindly 

Thank you John. So anyways Sam does grab the boy and nearly gets him out the door.. only for the mcbrides to run into their bisexual catsitter shoving a small chubby child out their kitchen window only to have a lesbian fall out into their kitchen. Naturally Howard faints again and Harold is displeased... probably because his husband fainted again.. and you know the shenangians in his kitchen. The only time shenanigans are allowed in that kitchen are when Clyde is sleeping at a friends house for the night and only on the table dammit. They got reinforced oak for a reason.  We cut to the boys playing, which is a nice touch: Clyde being a nice kid dosen’t mind sharing, Simon has similar intrests, and the only time we’ve seen him be eh on sharing is letting Lincoln borrow his new console.. and he not only felt BAD for not wanting him to borrow it and having to try and get it back, but he only did so because the Loud house is insanley chaotic and understandbly he wasn’t sure it’d get back to him safetly. His dad’s rasied him well, he’s a good boy once he got past his ‘Stalking his friends older sister” phase and got into his “anything besides that “ phase.  Luna comes clean to the McBrides and.. Harold appricates the honesty. And both are impressed with how well they took them, with Sam and Luna giving each other credit. So instead of getting upset, especially since Luna was both honest and only called in Sam for help and Simon was an unexpected guest and they both did a fantastic job, they offer to split the money instead. Sam, in a really sweet gesture, then gives Luna her half with no hesitation or prompting from her girlfriend, Luna gives her a cheek smooch and they hug. Then Luna acciently wakes the cats, and we end on the girls singing the cats, Simon and the McBrides all to sleep. Also Luna’s hallucination is alsleep.. those drugs wore off hours ago after all.  Final Thoughts:  A really fantastic setup. Once again the show shows it’s slowly gained talent for taking stock plots (in this case a babysitting episode) and making them actually intresting, mostly by having the characters behave reasonably. While it didn’t really expand Sam’s character, it didn’t really need to , the previous ep with her having fleshed her out as a sweet, kind girl with a talent for animals, and Simon is a wonderful addition to the series massive cast of side characters that , unlike some additions , will hopefully show up again. Seriously half the reason I bitch about Rusty is that the show is great at making charcters, and improving them after a few bumpy episodes as seen with Clyde, Lori and Luann, but yet still uses him and dosen’t make him any funnier, while I can name handfuls of characters who either need more apperances (Girl Jordan) Or haven’t shown up again at all (Carol Pingery, Rocky, Maggie). And that’s not even all of them obviously, but my point stands. But given he’s the brother of one of the main characters girlfriend and would fit in with the main character well, I have a feeling we’ll see simon again at some point.  I also really liked seeing the McBrides, mostly because I haven’t seen many of their episodes, and found them to be delightful, helped by having wonderful va’s behind them as standard for the show and great chemsitry and it was a nice bonus to have the shows two main gay couples interact, without it feeling at all forced, and neither did Sam’s inclusion. And while we haven’t gotten a full on kiss with Sam and Luna, which really they should, CN beat them again on that, the cheek kiss and hug was still very sweet, as is the episode really. It’s funny, heartwarming, and really enjoyable. While itd osen’t have as much emotional weight as the last two eps, I like that it didn’t: For once the conflict was low key but understandable and now Sam and Luna are a full couple, they can just do cute couple shit and get into wacky shenanigans like any other couple on this show without any angst attached. It’s really nice. It also shows that no, a couple being together isn’t boring fuck off will they or won’t they, but i’ve ranted enough about stuff unrelated to this episode. I really liked it and hope to come back to these two someday.  For now as I sign off Pride Month is far from over... as next up I have multiple things planned, but one of the biggest is a FIVE PART series on Red Action and Enid from OK KO. Yes FIVE. All 3 of their romantic eps, and Red’s first two for proper context both for the finale, which uses both episodes as part of the plot, and for a proper view of her character arc and to ease readers into the series better. So be there for that, and a donald duck birthday celebration, and until then, later days! 

[mimicofmodes]

Sanditon, episode 1 part i

I’m having a lot of thoughts about Sanditon, both plot and costumes, so I thought I might as well share them here.

So, Austen’s original MS for Sanditon is very short - it’s often referred to as an “unfinished novel”, but it’s really just the beginning of the story and a rough draft at that. This gives someone who wants to finish it license to make the plot go in any direction they like, which Andrew Davies has definitely taken full advantage of at his Andrew Davies-est.

Our first view of the heroine, Charlotte Heywood, is as she’s lying in the grass to shoot a rabbit, her hair down and not covered with a bonnet, which gives us the visual cue that this is Not Your Mother’s Austen Story.

In the original text, Mr Heywood happens to be out in the fields and approaches the scene of the accident, bringing the Parkers to his home, where they’re met by “two or three genteel-looking young women”. Davies instead makes Charlotte the center of the adventure by having her see the accident (while looking entirely non-genteel) and dash off to help. It’s hard to know where exactly the Heywoods are supposed to sit on the social scale in this adaptation: they’ve done a thing like P&P05 where rusticity is emphasized by making people untidy and dressed in browns, but it also makes them seem a lot poorer than the original text. There was a huge social and financial gulf between gentlemen with country estates that produced food and the actual yeoman or tenant farmer classes, though. Presumably they are in the “country estate” range, though, since the Parkers take Charlotte with them to Sanditon as a friend rather than some kind of paid companion.

Ever since Outlander started, it’s become really popular for costumers to put women in anachronistic knitwear. This knitted spencer is very clever, but also very inaccurate. (So is the hair. I’m going to have lots of opportunities to say this, but hair should not be down in the Regency. Even girls too young to get married wore their hair up at this time - the flowing, half-up look doesn’t become a standard young-girl hairstyle until well into the Victorian era.)

Trafalgar House, on the most elevated spot on the down, was a light, elegant building, standing in a small lawn with a very young plantation round it, about a hundred yards from the brow of a steep but not very lofty cliff, and the nearest to it of every building, excepting one short row of smart-looking houses called the Terrace, with a broad walk in front, aspiring to be the Mall of the place. In this row were the best milliner's shop and the library a little detached from it, the hotel and billiard room. Here began the descent to the beach and to the bathing machines.

In another departure from the text, the very pleasant and elegant new area of Sanditon that’s being prepared for tourists is turned into what looks more like an industrial town. This is probably because we tend to see narratives about change in this period as going hand-in-hand with the changes of the Industrial Revolution. But it doesn’t really look like a new town that’s being built to cater to invalids and fashionable people ...

Our first look at Lady Denham, the Catherine de Bourgh of Sanditon. This outfit isn’t terrible; it’s kind of ca. 1795. However, that’s roughly twenty years out of date for this setting, and Lady Denham is supposed to care about status and appearances, so she should be dressing like a normal fashionable older woman. Another visual cliché that’s become standard!

In the original text, Charlotte is a lot like Catherine Morland of Northanger Abbey, an ordinary young woman, while Lady Denham’s distant relation Clara Brereton is “the most perfect representation of whatever heroine might be most beautiful and bewitching” due to her physical attractions and her backstory: Lady Denham went to stay with some poorer relations, planning to take one of their daughters back to Sanditon with her, but instead took their poor relation. (Nice parallel with Charlotte’s situation.) Ironically, in the show Charlotte has the qualities we associate with heroines - she’s breezily free in her speech and hair - while Clara isn’t shown as interesting at all at first.

The younger Denhams, Sir Edward and his (step-)sister. In the original, the narrator explains pretty quickly that Sir Edward is a dope who likes exciting novels and wants to be a seductive rogue like their villains, so he’s fixing to carry off and seduce (read: rape) Clara for his own fun. But here, it’s clear that Sir Edward actually succeeds in flirting with Charlotte (if a bit slimily), and we eavesdrop on the Denhams’ conversation to learn about their motivations: his sister wants him to “focus on the task in hand” as the camera focuses on Clara, so it’s clear that there is a more purposeful scheme afoot. Just as in the text, though, Lady Denham makes it clear to Charlotte that he’s got to marry money.

For some reason, Lady Denham is dressed for Downton Abbey in this scene. Miss Denham’s spencer/pelisse is perfectly all right, but her hat is ... I don’t even know when her hat dates to. I suspect it’s based on this style of hat, but its sharpness and trimness make it read more modern.

The next introductions, following the MS’s order if not its timeline, are siblings of Charlotte’s host, Diana and Arthur Parker. Some much-needed comic relief! Davies has left out the second sister, though, as well as their busybody-ness, so they’re really nothing but hypochondriacs. Diana’s pelisse looks to be the one worn recently by Elle Fanning in the Mary Shelley movie, and by Anna Maxwell Martin in Death Comes to Pemberley.

The show then departs from the text by sending the group to the seaside. (Which seems like a obvious place to go, but it actually takes more than a week before the text even mentions going in the water.) Charlotte and Clara get in a bathing machine and change into clothes for swimming! We get a nice look at their period-appropriate corsetry as they get undressed. (The men strip down on the beach itself and go off into the waves. What’s slightly confusing to me is that Mrs. Parker and the Parker children were also there, but didn’t get into a bathing machine, so ... did they just watch the Parker brothers and Sir Edward walk around naked?)

Kudos to the costumer for leaning into the ugliness of Georgian swimwear. Charlotte has even put her hair up into the cap!

I’ve been neglecting the main Parkers, because there’s not much to say about them. They’re nice, enthusiastic people. The interior of their house does a good job or communicating Mr. Parker’s grand plans for Sanditon - he’s stretching to have his own grandiose Neoclassical stately home, and it’s not really working. It’s poorly-lit and whatever prints or inlay he has all over the walls makes that worse.

Charlotte is in a brown jumper dress over a collared habit shirt, something which I’d note appears on Keira Knightley’s Elizabeth in P&P05. Not the same specific costume, but the same family, and I doubt that’s a coincidence, given how much this production seems to be taking from that in terms of grittyness.

Mrs. Parker apologizes to Charlotte for her husband’s irritation over his other brother, Sidney, not having arrived yet, and then the two go into a shop to buy some fancy blue half-boots that I don’t really think are suitable for a ball. Reminder: this is supposed to be a clean, new seaside resort town.

Charlotte gets handed off to Miss Denham, who is once again in all black. Her sleeves have a kind of slashed-and-puffed effect, highly appropriate to the period as fashion inspiration in the 1810s moved away from the Neoclassical and into the medieval and Renaissance. Miss Denham comes off as very poisonous, complaining about Lady Denham (mean and miserly), Clara (sitting in the lap of luxury), Mr. Parker (going to ruin his family, obsessed with improving Sanditon), Arthur (a buffoon), and Sidney (unsavory and unreliable). I’m not really sure what the deal is with this conversation - it feels like Davies just wanted an excuse to make them talk together so we can see how bitchy Miss Denham is.

(cont’d)

[thereadingcellar]

** spoiler alert ** My Review of The Shadow Glass To think that this fantastic story landed in my lap because I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review of The Bone Witch. This was such an all consuming trilogy with bits and pieces of different books it reminded me of: the Witcher (the way the runes were drawn and it has a bard), Memoirs of a Geisha (the way the asha are trained), Twilight (the way Kalen tells Tea not to move when he kisses her for the first time in the 2nd book–Edward and Bella much?), a little bit of Avatar, the Last Air Bender (the different elemental powers used, wind, water, fire, air, earth) Harry Potter (betrayal of teachers and dragons aka the aza), The Bear and the Nightingale (a powerful woman coming into her own powers to right wrongs society has accepted), I read somewhere a little bit of GOT but I never watched/read those books…I know, gasp. Mulan (how Kalen trains Tea super hard, kind of like how Li Shang trains Mulan). And some Divergent (anti hero giving her life for the better good, brooding handsome love interest). How could one not love the this? First of all, THANK YOU RIN CHUPECO (not sure if you’ll ever see this review) for a couple things: 1. Creating this amazing story that consumed my life while obeying Stay at Home Orders 2. Softening the blow of Kalen’s death by giving us a heads up in the first book. GOOD LORD, I still cried when he actually died. Also, did anyone else picture a younger, buff, Ben Barnes (Prince Caspian) as Kalen?! No? Just me? 3. The loving sibling relationship between Tea and Fox until the very end 4. and Kalen’s POV on your blog. Honestly, you knew we would need that and you delivered. Can you please write all 3 books in his point of view?! Please. I do have a question though. Given how there was so much LGBTQ representation from many of the characters, was Prince Kance asexual? 1. He admits he had no feelings for Inessa, 2. thought of Tea as a sister (which, even though we’re happy she’s with Kalen, come on! I wish he would’ve had at least a little crush on Tea!), and 3. He never really pursued a relationship with anyone or showed any interest. If so, kudos for the serious representation. Likh. How can you not love Likh and her journey, her transformation, from male to female. Her reasoning, explaining what it felt like to be born in the wrong body and wanting to finally feel comfortable in her own skin; the reader can’t help but want Likh to be loved and accepted. Then finding love with Khalad, accepting her just the way she is, yet being completely oblivious to her (and his own) feelings for the longest time. The innocence is so real, it’s adorably painful. Not to mention how kick-ass Likh is as an asha. Yas Queen. I wish there would’ve been more dialogue between Kalen and Tea in Shadow Glass. I know that Kalen is man of few words, but the first half of the book had me longing for more insight into their relationship. Kalen’s confession of his love for Tea in The Heart Forger was so moving and deep, I wanted to see more of that in the third book. I wish the third book would have given us some more intimate moments, especially leading up to his death. It felt short changed, they shared a moment and it was taken from them, as many other moments were during their quest, which I guess is a reoccurring theme in their relationship. They would never truly be happy until the very end. However, Chupeco gives us Kalen’s insight later on on her blog when she writes his POV, something I didn’t know how badly I needed. Your welcome https://www.rinchupeco.com/kalen/ Your welcomeBut Tea’s drunk scene?! YES! I love how she lets her inhibitions down and just swoons over her love for Kalen, to the point that she basically says she wants to marry him! And how he never scolds her for her performance. She’s so in love that she sings a song about him! She never sings! She also professes how glorious in bed he is, like damn Chupeco, why couldn’t we peek into that part of their relationship? lol. Instead he’s amused and gives in to her. How can we not love this guy! Can we just gush over how much Fox and Tea love each other?! Very rarely have I read any genre that puts such importance on sibling relationships! I read in one of Chupeco’s interviews that she imagined Fox as her older brother that passed away before she was born and it just made me love Fox even more. I couldn’t stop from crying when Fox begs Tea not to leave him behind when she does the rune from the book of hidden runes to make him human again (I can’t remember what it’s called). He’s willing to follow her to the after life and spend the rest of his new life making up for turning on her. Like wow. Understanding his anguish, choosing Tea over Inessa, which I think has to do with when Tea lowers the veil during his conversation with Inessa earlier in the story and he claims he would slay his own sister if he needed to because she was getting dangerous. When he feels her presence, before he can explain anything to her, she builds the veil back up and seals off all connections with him, understanding that he will be safer this way, but still hurt from what she’s heard. She never once holds it against him. Not. Ever. The guilt he feels for not believing her, all the time lost between them, the fact that he would leave Inessa behind to make up for everything shows us how deep their connection and devotion is to each other. And Inessa and Kalen aren’t ever jealous. The Oracle! I did not see that coming. That was some A+ plot twist there. She was a formidable opponent and there was a few times where I didn’t think Tea would be successful at the very end. It also cleared up a lot of questions I had about the Oracle, which I appreciated. And the betrayal of Althy. HOW COULD SHE?! I was completely floored when Althy says that although she influenced Tea, it was still Tea’s doing, killing Daisy. Like, no. NO. It was not her fault, how dare you, sir! To sit there and say she was doing this all for the sake of also getting rid of magic. Girl, you lyin. When she delivers the fatal blow to Kalen, I was emotionally wrecked. When Druj turns into a Blight at the very end, I was at the edge of my seat. But of course, Tea comes through showing how powerful she truly is, unfortunately, at the cost of her life. My heart breaks for Tea because it’s one trial after another until she finds peace in death, easing (my) emotional turmoil by having Kalen join her.When she offers Kalen the opportunity to be human again!!! Like, girl! This world does not deserve you! Tea is always putting those she loves ahead of her own needs and desires. I imagine it was the most painful thing she’d ever have to offer, she probably couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t, but of course he turns her down, there’s no Kalen without Tea. I thought I wouldn’t like when Tea gives the rest of her story, written out, to the Bard, because that meant we couldn’t be with her as she continued her mission. But the Bard, true to his word, tells the reader the story from the other side, what we wouldn’t have been able to know if it was just Tea telling it. Everything told from the present point of view was always told by him. However, I’m biased. I just wanted to know more about Tea and Kalen lol. Given how the story revolves around death, the books don’t talk much, if any, about what happens when someone dies. Dark Asha are able to raise people from the dead, but never saying what the after life holds. Understanding that reincarnation is a common belief in Asian cultures, when Tea asks Fox where he went after he died, he says something along the lines of, “nothing and everything” making the reader wonder what death truly holds. At the very end of The Shadow Glass when the Bard is paying respects to the statue of Tea and Kalen, before Fox and Inessa’s wedding, he hears a familiar voice, turns around in disappointment when the voice and face don’t match. The woman he see’s says, “sons with my fire, daughters with my eyes. Mayhap one day, they will. A life worth dying for is a life worth living after all’” and then the man and woman disappear. They don’t enter the party, they don’t leave the palace, they just disappear. There’s a possibility that they may have been reincarnated. Another theory could be that this was her final goodbye to the Bard for telling her story. Interestingly enough, after Tea gains her black heartglass back during her exile and goes to the Gorvekai to pass the final trial Love, the one she failed the first time, she receives a vision: “A new vision swam through my mind. I saw all seven daeva bowing to me, with Kalen, smiling and alive, my hand in his, while I stood surrounded by light. You were right, Lily, my heartsglass wept. A prince on my arm, surrounded by silver. You were right.” The main possibility is that they’re living in the after life, because once she drew the rune to give her brother back the life he lost, all magic in the world would disappear, meaning both deava and Tea and Kalen would no longer exist because they were now magical creatures possessing the shadow glass. I’d also like to think Tea and Kalen are rewarded for their good works and given the opportunity for a second chance in life, however, the interaction with the bard could have been an apparition since no other instances of reincarnation are hinted at. Needless to say, I have an emotional hole in my heart after having finished this trilogy. It’s always hard closing a book with characters you grew so fondly of. Excuse me while I binge watch the office to cheer myself up. Rin, did you cry at the end as well?

[beesbooksblog-blog]

BBR #1-”Flawed” by Kate Arelynn

I decided to start this series after i finished this book, however it’s been 3 weeks since ive finished it, so admittedly my memory is a little fogged on what exactly i hated about it. ill do my best though. sorry about the lack of punctuation and capitalization :/. tumblr showed me how to bold and italicize things but i dont remember. haha nvm im acting like anyone will read this lmao. this is for my own enjoyment. moving on

“flawed” is genuinely one of the worst books if not the worst book ive ever read, ever. well i guess thats not entirely true since i totally ate it up within two weeks but from a logical perspective its bad in my opinion. 

 its hard to really review this having read it so long ago but ill recall best i can. 

                                                   -SPOILERS-

again, like anybody besides myself is reading this.anyways, i went into this book very hopeful. the storyline seemed very interesting, the synopsis on the back of the novel describing the relationship between two siblings. the older brother protecting his younger sister from their abusive father and asking for seemingly incestuous affection in return. not saying i like abuse or incest, but like most people touchy taboo subjects as such are fascinating to read and watch about. 

my first major problem with this book was its representation of child abuse and the way it takes a very generic stereotypical approach. I’m not saying there arent cases where the abusive dad is a raging drunk who beats his kids with his belt for no reason all the time because that absolutely happens, its just not usually like that in real life. often times abusers can be manipulative and more 3 dimensional than so many novels make them out to be. (3 dimensional as in, they are able to be nice or even compassionate whether it be for their own personal gain or not. not in a they are good people who nobody understands 3 dimensional way). i guess thats a picky critique but im so tired of reading about the same abusive dad in these ya novels.

second major problem was the character of james. i dont feel like the book necessarily glorified his behavior but it didnt exactly reprimand it either. either way, his manipulative controlling actions were just unpleasent to read about. throughout the book i got increasingly frusterated with how awful of a person he was and while i dont think the author was shedding his behavior in a positive light i still feel like the tone of the novel was to make me feel like sarah was in the wrong for wanting to be with sam because james would be hurt. its so rediculous.

and then of course, sam. I HATE PERFECT BOYS WITH SAD BACK STORIES. do they exist? yeah, i guess so. but its so easy to write a catchy book just by putting an attractive love interest who has issues in it. sam is not a bad character per say, i think hes cheaply written but it didnt pain me to read his interactions with sarah in the same way james did. i honestly dont love to read about romance and relationships so most of the scenes with james and sarah were cringey but thats kind of my own problem. i think he was really dramatic alot for no reason “omg lets get married” but whatever. also him purposely trying to get james to walk in him and sarah having sex was questionable but it was barely addressed so :/

okay my next problem was the super unnecessary amount of sex or passages relating to sex in this book? it literally just feels the author forgot what the book was supposed to be about and just started writing spin off twilight. on my life there is almost no incest in this book. james clearly has a weird crush on sarah but sarah does not give him any affection (unless shes sleeping oml). theres more incest between sarah and her dad than there is with her and james which is not what i came to read about. (but seriously, the climax with sarahs dad trying to rape her was awful and disgusting, there literally couldve been a different way to get rid of him). but yeah i knew they were gonna have sex so it could do the whole protagonist is insecure about her body thing but did they need to do it more than once and did it need to be talked about so frequently?\

there is so much more to talk about like their mom, the ENDING (jesus), but this book is just tiring to write about. overall, the writing was bad, sometimes it was actually laughably bad which i suppose is good because atleast i got some entertainment from it. i knew this book was bad one chapter in which is so sad because i really did have alot of hope for this one. 

im not gonna rate the books i review because thats alot of thinking but on my TBR i give each book a check, ex, or squig after i finish it and this one gets a phat ex. 

most quotable line: “not when sams tongue is exploring my mouth”

lmk what other books i should add to my TBR!

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Historical Fiction

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Synopsis:

The year is 1945. Claire Randall, a former combat nurse, is just back from the war and reunited with her husband on a second honeymoon when she walks through a standing stone in one of the ancient circles that dot the British Isles. Suddenly she is a Sassenach—an “outlander”—in a Scotland torn by war and raiding border clans in the year of Our Lord...1743. Hurled back in time by forces she cannot understand, Claire is catapulted into the intrigues of lairds and spies that may threaten her life, and shatter her heart. For here James Fraser, a gallant young Scots warrior, shows her a love so absolute that Claire becomes a woman torn between fidelity and desire—and between two vastly different men in two irreconcilable lives.

*Opinions*

I did something a little different this time and wrote the review while I was reading since it was such a long novel. That has lead it to be a rather long review. 

I have had this book for almost a year at this point, but at almost 900 pages it was rather intimidating, especially with my inability to find time to read recently. However, I finally decided to take the bull by the horns and dive in. I was so pleased to see that most of the chapters are broken up into smaller segments, making it easier to move quickly through the book and not being locked into needing forty-five minutes to get through a chapter. I’m one of those people that really hates stopping in the middle of a chapter without a clear break in the action. There is also a good pace to the novel so that it's not that hard to convince yourself to go one more chapter break or make it to the end of the chapter. That being said, the overall plot of the story moves rather slowly, which would account for the novel's 850 pages. Still, after all the hype, I went in cautiously, not wanting to get my hopes up and be disappointed as I have been in the past. 

We started in the “present” of 1945 and even though we aren’t in 1945 long, Frank Randall finds the page time to be rather condescending and annoying. I do believe that is the point, his dismissal of his wife while he hunts down the family connection with Jonathan “Black Jack” Randall, to highlight the difference with Jamie, but it still bothered me. Now, I get it, I have family members who are very into genealogy, but to complete ignore your wife who you barely saw for six years to look at old records is ridiculous. Also, Frank’s view of adoption instantly made me sour toward him, but it’s a viewpoint that a number of people still hold. Not to mention how he reacted to Claire swearing. Now my viewpoint might be colored because I know that Jaime is the main romantic interest due to the television show, but still. Just saying you love someone doesn’t mean much when you’re a giant ass, Frank. To be honest, I don’t know why Claire tried so hard to get back to him. Getting back to indoor plumbing I understood, but not to get back to Frank. That coupled with his ancestor being the primary villain in the novel and I didn’t really give a damn about Frank. 

Something that I liked in regards to Jaime, which I hadn’t expected, was that he was younger than Claire. There was something so endearing about Jamie becoming flustered when Claire even suggested they sleep in the same room with absolutely not romantic intentions toward one another. Jaime has a lot of sweetness in him and while he has mysteries, he isn’t overly brooding, which is slightly overdone these days. Still, there are moments when he wants to be Claire's “master” that make him unlikable. Claire tells him no multiple times and they end up having sex anyway. While I am going to address this when it’s with males who aren’t Jaime, it is still nonconsensual sex (also known as rape) even if it’s a man that you are married to. You can argue that it’s the time and that makes it acceptable, seen a marital duty or whatever, but it doesn’t make Jaime likable. However, that doesn’t make me completely hate Jaime, due to his youth and inexperience, it just makes him a complex character. I just wish romance, as a genre, could stop pushing the no actually means a coy yes story line. It’s not sexy on the page or in real life. It’s rape. 

As with everything that is set in historical times, rape is spoken about, implied, and threatened on a number of occasions. It even happens to a male character, though I don’t want to spoil who. I understand, it is the truth of that point in time, but I personally feel that more of discussion needs to be had about it if you chose to focus on that part of history on so many occasions. I mean, Gabaldon has time travel in this novel, she could have toned down the amount non-consensual touching, kissing, undressing, groping, almost rape and actual rape in the case of Jaime taking Claire after she told him no on a couple occasions. Every male that runs into Claire either threatens to assault her or does assault her in some way and it’s just tiring. I thought that the novel was done with that particular issue once they had left the castle, but the minute that a male that was described as somewhat attractive and not crippled once again enters the narrative, Claire is forced into a position where she should be sexually assaulted. Then it is threatened again with a male that is mentally unstable. If that is the only way you can build tension in a scene with two members of the opposite sex, maybe take a step back and looking at how you’re crafting the story a little more carefully. This isn’t selling the romantic dream of every man wanting to be with you, it is reinforcing the knowledge that every woman has that we should always be on our guard and are never safe, which isn’t something I read fiction novels to be reminded of to this degree. 

One thing that I will give Gabaldon a small bit of credit for was how she dealt with the male rape victim in the novel. I don’t want to spoil who it is or the specifics surrounding the assault, but I believe she gave enough page space and emotional weight, Now this wasn’t just an assault, but torture as well, but the feeling of helplessness and shame that surrounded the character in regards to sex afterwards I believe was well done. However, that leads to another issue I have with this novel, that both homosexual characters are portrayed poorly. One is a villain and it is implied that he raped his younger brother, the other is a caricature and literally only in the novel for a while as a sort of comedic character, who also attempts to rape young boys. You can’t claim historical accuracy in this poor representation. While it might not have been written down, I highly doubt that every non-straight individual in the Scottish Highlands was a pedophile and/or rapist. 

Moving on from that, Gabaldon got the sibling dynamic between Jaime and his sister Jenny down pretty well. While we may live in a more civilized time, this is basically how arguments between me and my older brother go down, sans the whole kilt incident obviously. While it was frustrating that Jaime didn’t give her a chance to explain herself, especially when he already knew about Randall’s issue from Claire explaining her experience, it is a pretty accurate representation of sibling stubbornness. Jaime had years to form a picture in his mind of what had happened and it’s hard to listen to reason, from anyone, when that happens. Jaime’s interactions with his namesake nephew were also painfully adorable and it was a nice respite from the constant danger that they faced while at the castle. I really enjoyed this whole section of the novel, though the weird sexual display when describing what it’s like to be pregnant seemed a bit odd to me. Still, it was easy to understand the mood of the room and it was a rather wonderfully written section. 

Now to address the criticism that Claire is a Mary Sue that I had seen on a number of occasions. The knowledge that she had of medicine from her time as a nurse during the war makes perfect sense for the time period that she was living. The interest in herbs would also make sense if she had learned so much medical knowledge, hell I am interested in herbs and I have zero medical knowledge. While, I will admit, the whole traveling around with her uncle on archeological digs was a bit much, it’s no different than Indiana Jones and no one has a problem with him. While I don’t think that addition was necessary, most people adapt to roughing it when there is no other choice, it wasn’t something that pulled me out of the story. Honestly, I think what saves Claire from being insufferable is that she makes stupid decisions and is not a perfect person. I’m alright with a very knowledgeable main character as long as she also has flaws, which Claire has many. She is a very alive character and I appreciate that about her, even if I don’t like her all the time. 

It was a brave move on Gabaldon’s part, is that she lets the story take a very leisurely pace. There are whole sections that don’t move forward the plot, but they do give us the personality of the Scots that Claire is traveling with or meeting during her trip into the past. It is probably why the novel is almost 900 pages, however I appreciate learning to care about and getting complex characters to fall in love with or loath. While I do think that some areas could have been tightened up a bit, you are pulled with Claire into the Highlands and it is rare that you find yourself thinking that Gabaldon should just speed it up already. While it does seem as if the plot becomes a little repetitive, Claire finds herself in danger, is saved, becomes comfortable in her surrounds, and then the cycle is repeated, I never forced myself to pick up the book and dive back in. The only section that I found completely unnecessary was the entire battle with the wolf near the end of the book. The injuries from that encounter really have no bearing, nor does the actual killing as Claire is forced to kill humans a little later on. It was too long and I found myself really not all that interested. A couple paragraphs could have neatly wrapped up that section and moved the plot forward, but it was the only time I felt that way. It really is well situated to a television format, and it’s easy to see how sections could be broken up into episodes. I might search out the show now that I’m finished with the novel. Overall, I enjoyed my adventure in the Highlands and will continue with the rest of the series, but I don’t see this becoming my favorite series. There are just too many problems with it that I find hard to overlook or ignore.

[myrrhdarkwing]

One day she asked herself, "When did I stop breathing?"

The air in the cities... it wasn't always good. Cigarette smoke, the smoke from a vendor's stall, the exhaust from cars speeding through the streets adjacent to the darker alleys she favoured. It could become thick and choking, catching in her chest and burning her eyes.

But, she wondered as she stared at a woman's chest heaving heavy breaths through ragged sobs, that wasn't the reason, was it?

Without moving her eyes, Kashi extended her vision through the streets around her. Late at night, late enough it might almost start to be morning, there weren't too many people here. Each of them was a spark of colour in her awareness, even if they were hidden away from her by the protective embrace of concrete and steel. It was easy to split her awareness in two, by now. To focus on the woman in front of her with all her regular senses and to passively monitor the sparks of colour through a radius that just kept getting bigger.

"It's terrible," she said softly, everything about her demeanour radiating a sort of comfort and a sense of calm that this human woman would never be able to pick up on consciously. "Really, it's terrible to lose someone that close to you. Especially when you don't have anyone else left."

Sometimes people just needed to cry. She'd hold them as long as they wanted, of course. It wasn't like she got tired anymore. And while this woman cried in her arms, Kashi stared at the muddled pink glow that represented this soul in particular and wondered if she could simply snuff it out. It wouldn't be that hard, right? To dissolve something into static, to snuff out a flame... Fire was her domain to master and none in this city could take that from her. But, sometimes she wondered... these little sparks of light she saw, could they be snuffed out as easily as the sparks she created and cupped in her hands?

Ah, she'd never do it. That didn't stop her from wondering.

...

Well, that didn't stop Sango from wondering.

Sango got this tiny crook in the corner of her smile when the woman who had been on a pilgrimage to Aokigahara looked up at her and tearfully whispered, "You must be some sort of guardian angel, to have come at this sort of time..."

"You're important," Sango told her softly, sensing she still needed comfort so not pulling away just yet. "Even if it doesn't feel like it, you are a part of this city, as is everyone you still love. Their part of the city is simply to watch over you now. Your part is far more visible-- to live, to interact with others, to impact their lives even briefly. Even just one life lost to pain hurts the entire city. It's hard, so hard, to accept that your place is still here in this physical realm when everyone you love is a spirit now... but nonetheless, it is true. You have so much left to give this world, and so much time left for the world to give back to you." Her words rang with an otherworldly sense of sincerity. They always did. After more tears, she was able to take the woman home.

From the top of the 109 Building, she stared up at the moon and wondered, when had she stopped breathing? When had she stopped sleeping, or eating, or allowing her heart to beat? The world felt so detached most of the time now.

She pulled a small slip of paper out of her pocket. A newspaper clipping, familiar and well-worn.

Kashiyama Aika, 16 years old, was killed in a tragic car accident yesterday.

She hadn't kept the rest of it. Just that bit was enough. Every time she read it, it only drove it further in: Kashiyama Aika, the wanna-be idol with a dying mother, a deadbeat older sister, and twin younger siblings... was dead. Even the player Kashi, the wanna-be magical girl who sang out her attacks, was almost a ghost. Only Shiroizumi Sango, the blazing angel who could reach out and alter even a Conductor's mind, who spent her nights prowling the districts around her to talk with and help troubled souls as best she could, remained.

Tucking the paper away, she stared up at the moon again. Would things have been different if Luna was still at her side? The one rule she'd held inviolate. The one rule she'd stood up to even the Composer about. It was not an everyone-for-themself Game, because you would always, always, have your partner with you. Now she sat alone with the silver marks on her wings gleaming in the moonlight they were almost made of, staring out at the district without moving her eyes, reaching out to cup her hands around the not-quite-visual representation of a soul almost achingly familiar to her own, but never touching it. Just because Sol felt so similar to Luna that she'd cried for days upon sensing him didn't mean he belonged to her. Didn't mean he even needed to remember her.

To observe humanity, night after night, meant detaching from them. A human would not innately know which strangers needed help. A human would not be able to convince all these strangers to trust her with their darkest woes. A human would not be able to sit on the top of the 109 Building watching the colours in the district below to make sure everything still functioned. Therefore, Sango could not afford to be human. The only time she ever felt differently was when Takumi called her by that name.

... Without Takumi and Daichi, she would have been lost. That wasn't even a question in her mind. If she hadn't been erased in a fit of instability that burned the city to the ground, she would have been lost now, like this, the angel gazing down upon a culture so utterly detached from themself that they didn't even recognise themself as human. But when they called her name, she knew who she was, and everything snapped into perspective again. To have that chance to laugh and play and cry with them kept her even slightly human. Running through the streets to catch Zapdos, but mostly to make sure Daichi didn't get himself killed trying to catch it first. Play-fighting with Juro about which one of them got to flop over Takumi's lap. Laughing so hard she fell off the couch over something one of them did in a video game she happened to be watching. Even the simple things, like trying to make dinner and accidentally learning that cooking with fire just burns the outside of the meat while leaving the inside raw, kept her human. The day-to-day life with a human who would probably die again if left wholly unsupervised for more than 8 hours and a reaper who was secretly an idol...

Well, Kashi mused as she phased into their apartment and flopped down on the couch, Daichi was probably right. They would make a good sitcom.