#she got pregnant toward the end of my junior year and i got to see pictures of her baby my senior year

[luvxiem]

in my downward spiral of simping over miguel i realized that spanish is SO sexy. i've been blind this whole time

[frankieking]

Oscar's Chatter

A/N: Frankie dishes some Oscars opinions and talks about two small blind items.

"Hello, hello. It's the Monday after the Oscar's so we all know what that means? It's time for some chatter!" Frankie chuckled as the sound byte went off.

A couple of people in the studio howled and whistled and Frankie bowed. "Thank you, thank you." "You look amazing last night!" One of the producers shouted and Frankie grinned.

"Thank you! Those pearls were everywhere by the end of the night." They chuckled and gestured towards the green screen. "Oppenheimer swept the floor, Emma Stone gave us an adorable, teary speech, Robert Downey Junior won as well and Billie Eilish made us all cry. Did ya'll see John Cena half naked?? Frankie chuckled and then added. "Well, fully naked, actually. It was a drama-free night with lots of laughs, Ryan Gosling being a gem, and can we talk about the host and his fits? My God!" Frankie fanned themselves and then winked at the camera. "Babe, if you're watching this I know you agree Xavier looked fine." Frankie gestured toward the camera to follow them to their desk and they sat down, twirling in their seat. "We had some amazing red carpet looks. Florence Pugh looked amazing as always, America Ferrara shined in pink and Ryan Gosling's look was gorgeous. What was that?" Frankie asked their production team who kept tossing them commentary. "Who's dating who? What do I look like here? Gossip royalty?"

"Look, Vanessa Hudgens announcing her pregnancy at the Oscar's was a chef's kiss. I have been under a rock but I had no idea Emma had a toddler and now that I know this information she is definitely a favorite of mine. C'mon! She's adorable. I honestly didn't see anything surprising. What's that?" Frankie smirked. "I'm not pregnant. I just had a sprite and I bloat like a blimpie." They patted their tummy and laughed.

"Overall, I was glad to see everyone happy and content, people got to go home early which meant earlier after party celebrations and everyone looked pretty good."

Another sound byte came on and Frankie shook their head. "Not this." They chuckled and took the paper from their producer, waving it for the audience to see. "It's time for a blind item."

"BLIND ITEM." The sound byte played in slow motion which made Frankie laugh. "We received a blind item that Jeremy Faulkes of Ship-wrecked fame has asked for a truce with Oscar's host Xavier Mitchell. The annoucement as made after receving a congratulations from the Mitchell team. He states he's dying to work together with Xavier again and put their bad blood behind them." The audience boo'd and Frankie joined. "Not buying it, Jeremy. I hope you're ready to grovel but I'd love to have you on the Real Sheet. I have some unresolved matters to discuss." They grinned and wiggled their brows before moving on to the next blind item.

"Ah I love my production team. It's obvious we're team Xavier here or as Lisa calls him, Fancy Pants Hottie. We received a blind item of Xavier leaving the Vanity Fair after-party holding hands with a handsome man whom I have never seen in my entire life." They winked at the camera. "There isn't much information on that front. When questioned who he was with, Xavier responded with a sheepish, boyish smile and said "someone important. AWW!" Frankie slammed the paper on their desk. "As you all know, I met Xavier on Ship-Wrecked and he is the nicest peson. I suggest you leave him and this delivlish specimen he's canoodling with alone. We gave him enough strife last year and he deserves some peace and quiet and most of all, he deserves his privacy. Let's do better, people!" Frankie ripped up the paper on their desk and looked into the camera. "And Jeremy Faulkes, if you do not leave my friend alone, I will give you a bad review on the Bachelor." Their team laughed in the background and Frankie shrugged. "It's time for a commercial break. When we come back, I have Timothee Chalamet in the hot seat and we're going to see how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop!"

"ANNNNDD cut!" Lisa ran up to Frankie with their makeup team and Frankie sighed. "I don't like surprises. I won't rat out my friends."

"You handled it well. I'll see how that even got on your desk." Lisa smiled at Frankie. "So do you know the guy or not?"

"I have never seen this tall person in my life." Frankie pouted their lips for gloss and then grinned.

"So sad Fancy Pants Hottie is off the market." Lisa pouted.

"Lisa, gurrll you are married!"

"It's okay. My husband knows." Lisa chortled and Frankie joined.

"You're all troublemakers." Frankie looked over their material for the next segment and their smiled widened when their special guest walked in. "Welcome. Hope you're ready for some tough questions!"

Timothee kissed both of their cheeks and sat down. "Bring it, King."

"We're coming back to the air in 5,4,3,2..." Lisa pointed at them and Frankie batted their lashes.

"Welcome to the Real Sheet where we pretend we know what we're talking about and google to make sure we're not wrong during commercials breaks..."

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 8: Your History

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my own imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, so please do not copy it and claim it as your own. As always, I hope it gives you happy thoughts :)

You sat on the bed in Phoenix's spare bedroom with your phone in your hand looking at the blue-eyed, raven -haired little boy on your phone trying to show you something with a truck.

"Does dis," the two-year-old garbled.

"Did you say thank you to Miss Abby?" You question him as your young nanny nods yes behind him on the screen.

Christian Junior nods his head up and down. "Yup!" He focuses back on you. "Mommy come home? Miss you."

"I miss you too. I'll see you in a few hours. I love you."

"Love you, Mommy." Christian went back to his new toy and your nanny Abby got on the phone. Her young bright face smiling.

"We'll see you in a couple of hours, Doctor Astor. He loves this toy."

"Thank you, Abby. You're all set for you trip home?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you so much for this."

"It's the least I can do for you. I'll see you guys when you get here."

"Sounds good."

You hang up your phone, stand up, and realize Jake is standing in the doorway. He slowly started walking towards you.

"How old?" he inquires.

"Little Christian is two. I had just found out I was pregnant with him when I got the news Christian was killed." You take a deep breath. "When Celine found out, she was the total opposite of happy because now it really changed things. Now there was an heir to the family fortune." You sat down on the edge of the end of the bed and Jake sat with you. "You see, when my father-in-law passed, he didn't leave her much and she started to blow through the money. Everything was pretty much left to Christian, and he wasn't stupid." You pause for a few seconds. "Christian made sure I was taken care of but keeping mine and Christian Junior's life somewhat normal the past few years has been pretty difficult."

You look at Jake who looks at you. His green eyes full of concern. "In my eyes, you're one of the strongest women I know. I see why you and Phoenix are best friends."

"Phoenix has been my rock throughout this whole thing. I don't know how I could've done it without her, and she loves little Christian."

"Where is little Christian now?"

"He's with his nanny getting ready to take the private jet here. When he gets here, Abby, his nanny, is going to go visit her friends and family for a couple of weeks."

Jake looks at his fingers and starts counting on them. "So, a kid, a Friesian horse, a nanny, private jet...anything else I should know about?"

You smile. "Probably more than you can count on your fingers."

You gaze into each other's eyes. Jake reaches out, tucks some hair behind your ear and then strokes your cheek.

"Why me, Jake?" You question.

"Because you intrigue me."

Your faces inch closer.

"I intrigued you?" You question with a sexy grin.

"Oh, yeah." He gently places his hands on either side of your face, your eyes close, and he kisses you. You could feel all the tension leaving your body. The last time you got so lost in a kiss was the last time Christian came home three years ago.

You both hear the sound of keys and then a door open and shut.

You separate slowly, looking into each other's eyes.

[godlygreta]

chapter six | fuck buddies.

title | arabella

summary | halloween is fast approaching and the gang decides to throw a halloween party

warnings | alcohol usage, marijuana usage, other 18+ warnings

word count | 4k

author’s note | hello angels ! thank you for all that you do. i love each and every single one of you so much :) pls enjoy this while i finish up some of my other wip's for your reading pleasure ;)

song of the chapter | arabella, arctic monkeys

❝ and when she needs to shelter from reality / she takes a dip in my daydreams ❞

The normal rhythm between you and Jake had finally come back to a homeostasis. Since the two of you had talked in the studio, the boys had wrapped up most of the album recording. With the familiar white noise of October coming to an end, there was only one perfect way to end the month. A Halloween party.

You and Josh were avid Halloween fans, finding solace within the horror genre. You loved the classics almost as much as Josh did, if not more. The Michael Meyers series always piqued your interest, watching it any time the summer began to turn to autumn. One singular leaf could fall and you’d instantly pull out the collection. The t-shirts you had pulled out for summer would easily be replaced with sweaters, patterned and knit. “We’ll need lots of tequila, at least five bottles.”

“Josh, we don’t need five fucking bottles of tequila.” You spoke, sitting at the island in your apartment, compiling a list of everything you would need for the party.

“Yes, we do. You underestimate me, Y/N.” You rolled your eyes, pushing his chair with your foot. “Plus, we can acquire them over the next week. We’ve still got time before the party. Plus, chances are people will also bring their own bottles.”

“We should have themed drinks, like wine’s called fuckin’ Vampire’s Delight or some spooky shit like that.” You said, causing a snort to leave Josh. You looked over at him, offended as ever. “What?”

“That’s some childish shit,” half laughing, Josh pats your shoulder blade, “but if you want to, you’re in charge of making the signs for the drinks and shit.”

You stuck your tongue out at Josh, getting up from your chair. You looked in your fridge to see if there was anything you wanted to eat in there, but there never was. You always craved everything and anything that was not in your fridge; it was your biggest downfall as a human being. You turned towards Josh, then back towards your fridge. “Wanna go get Thai?”

“Is that a question? Absolutely.” You smiled, watching him reach for the keys to his Jeep. You followed closely behind him, hot on his trail. You giggle excitedly getting into the passenger's seat, waiting for Josh to start the car.

The Thai place you two were sitting in had been home to you for most of your junior and senior years of college. The entire staff pretty much knew you so well, when you came in everyone came and hugged you. The worker’s daughter was even there, she was pregnant the last time you had come in. The family it was owned by was still as cute as ever, still as loving as ever.

Josh admired your ability to make friends anywhere and everywhere. You two were always the most sociable, following the crowd and making friends. He simply watched as you interacted with them, smiling at the little boys who would come up to you and say hi. “You must’ve been here quite a bit.”

“You have no idea.” Your eyes widened, in an attempt to convey just how much you were there. He just chuckled, letting you gauge whether or not the two of you were going to dip into that conversation. “I’ve made many decisions in this restaurant.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I wanted to switch my major during my junior year. I wasn’t feeling the route I was going, I was honestly thinking of going to communications and finding a job in journalism. I wanted to write about a bunch of different things. I had so many opinions when I was younger. Now, I usually just hold them in.” You took a sip from your water, watching Josh’s conversational wheel turn in his head.

“What decision do you need to make today?”

“I’m not really sure.” It was a half truth. You knew the decision you had to make, but you didn’t necessarily want to make it. You didn’t want to decide. You wanted to leave it up to someone else to decide - for Jake to decide.

“You already know you like him, Y/N. Why not go for it? What could be so bad?”

“We break up and I can’t see any of you again.” Your response was fast, you didn’t even hesitate. This had been on your mind for days since you admitted that you liked him. “I love all of you so much. I couldn’t handle losing all of you on top of losing Jake.”

“You know that would never happen. You and Jake just make sense - you were always supposed to.”

“What do you mean by that?”

He inhales, gathering all of his thoughts in his mind before his mouth begins to move. “If Jake was actually going to be with anyone, it was gonna be you. We always thought you two would get together in high school, I never understood why you didn’t. You and Jake clicked so well. Your personalities complement each other, you balance each other out.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, I graduated high school, I can come to conclusions on my own.” You laughed, playing with the straw in your glass. “You and Jake would be good together. I know he’s a pain in the ass, especially when he’s dealing with his feelings.”

“So just tell him that I wanna be more than friends?” You asked, eyes looking for any tiny miniscule fraction of a doubt that you should. You almost wanted to see it, not having to tell Jake about your true feelings for him. Josh nodded, no sense of doubt in anything he did. You bit at the skin of your bottom lip, nervous. “When?”

“You’ll know when it’s the right time, Y/N. Believe me.”

☾ ☾ ☾

The kitchen counter was completely lined with booze. Various drinks were set up around the table, themed ones as well. Josh laughed at the names you had come up with, mostly because he thought they were ridiculous. Danny thought they were actually funny, quite cute. Mackenzi loved them too, praising you for being creative unlike Josh. His creativity spanned elsewhere.

The decorations around the house were simply divine. Cobwebs were actually realistic, as were the fake spiders that littered them. Some of them, of course, were made to look like they were fucking. You rolled your eyes when Josh pointed them out to you while decorating, chuckles leaving his lips. Realistic skeletons were conveniently placed around the house, sunglasses and boas on them, ready for photo ops whenever they were needed.

You didn’t know what you wanted to be before that morning. You had millions of ideas, but nothing that stuck out to you. Nothing that felt like you, til saw the fairy wings inside of Spirit Halloween. They were pretty, a light blue color, glitter and fake stars sprinkled everywhere. You grabbed some gold metallic paint and splatter painted them. Your makeup had light blue and gold accents everywhere. Mackenzi was the second to compliment your costume, Josh being the first.

“Babe!” Joy shouted, Sam and Jake trailing behind her. “You look so fucking hot and cute at the same time, how does that even work?”

“What are you talking about? Look at you!” Joy was dressed as Ghostface from Scream, but a sexy version. The two of you hugged each other, happy to see each other after how long it had been. Sam had been dressed as one of her victims, fake blood littering the clothes he was wearing. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too, pretty girl.” She gave you a quick peck on your cheek and left to grab alcohol. Jake stopped in front of you, giving you a quick look up and down just as you did to him. He was dressed as a vampire, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. You wrapped your arms around him, thanking him for coming.

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N.”

“I know, but I just want you to know I appreciate you being here.” You grabbed his hand and dragged him into the kitchen. “Let me make you a drink.”

You had already had a few, which he could tell almost right away. He knew you too well. He raised an eyebrow, almost second guessing you. The thoughts of you at the cabin popped into his head, how hungover you were before the bar. “Am I gonna end up like you when we were at the cabin that one night? Waking up at fuckin’ 3 in the afternoon?”

“That was one time, Jacob!” You laughed, mixing up a bunch of things you could find. You swirled the drink with your finger, feeling his eyes steady on you. Your eyes flickered back up to him from the drink you were making. A small discrete smirk landed on your lips. You removed your finger from the mix, taking it in your mouth. You watched his eyes slightly widen at your actions, mouth opening slightly. “I think this is the best drink I’ve made all night.”

“Yeah?” He asks, more curious about what you were thinking about when your lips were wrapped around your finger. You extended the drink out to him, letting him taste it for himself. He was slightly shocked at how good it tasted, it just tasted like a fruit juice, he wasn’t sure which one. He knew there was a fuck ton of other alochol in it, but it just tasted fruity. “That is pretty good.”

“See? I told you so.” You wink at him, making yourself a drink before disappearing into the crowd.

The living room had been transformed into a bit of a dance floor, copious amounts of bodies grinding on each other. You joined in, grinding against Joy before weaving your way towards whoever was playing music. You pushed him away, bending over the table to pick a few songs of your own, adding them to the queue.

As soon as your song started, you grabbed Joy and Mackenzi. Joy’s in front of you, body facing yours, hands interlaced with your own. Mackenzi’s behind you, your ass against her front. Her hands are loosely around your hips, moving with the movement of your hips. You make eye contact with Jake, who’s standing next to Sam and Danny, watching the three of you.

Your eyes never left Jake’s. It was almost as if you couldn’t - the two of you worked like magnets. Your soul attracted his, and his soul attracted yours. The alcohol coursing through your veins fed your brain with various thoughts. You wondered how Jake could react to you kissing Joy or Mackenzi, knowing how he reacted to you even joking about getting with Josh.

Sure, it was different because Josh was his brother. But Mackenzi had been one of their friends for years, even before Danny was introduced to her. And Joy was his brother’s girlfriend. You wondered about all the different roads his mind would go down.

Almost as if she could read your mind, Joy’s lips were planted on your own. Her lips were soft, the kiss was more sensual than you thought it would be. She tasted like Jack Daniels and weed. A smile rose to both of your faces, giggling as the two of you pulled away. “Where’s my kiss?! This isn’t fair!”

“C’mere!” You yell to her, the alcohol beginning to get to you. You put your hands on her cheeks and give her a kiss, a gentle one - different from the way Joy kissed you. The three of you laughed while the boys just stared at the three of you, sharing a look between themselves, then looking back at you. “I’m gonna go get another drink!”

“‘Scuse me.” You squeezed between Sam and Jake, brushing your ass past Jake’s front. You did so on purpose. You smirked slightly as you felt someone behind you, hoping with everything in you that it was him. “Need something?”

“Yeah,” he backed you up against the counter, his hands on the edge, right next to yours. You looked up and down his face, watching him swipe his tongue across his bottom lip before speaking again. “I need another drink, bartender, mine’s all gone.”

“Sure you’re not thirsty for something else?” You ask, making him catch his breath in his throat, slightly unaware of what you mean. He leans into you very slightly, feeling his breath on your skin. You licked your lips, biting your bottom lip. You joke, voice one fraction above a whisper. “You’re dressed as a vampire, sure you don’t want to drink some blood?”

“Oh, um, yeah.” He played it off, pretending he wasn’t thinking what he was. You knew what he was thinking about - or at least you hoped you knew. He backed up, letting you move away from where you were against the counter. You pushed yourself off, letting yourself make him another drink.

“Want anything specific?” You ask, putting a cup down in front of you.

“You.” His voice was low, barely above a whisper, hoping you wouldn’t hear him but you did. But you did. You walked over to him, his body propped up against the counter where all of the bottles of vodka were. You brush your body against his, chest flush against his as you reach for the Smirnoff behind him.

“Pardon my reach.” His eyes follow you the entire time. He never wanted to look away from you, and he didn’t. While you made him another drink, you felt him come up behind you. His hands went to your waist, one pushing all of your hair to the other side of your face. His lips brushed against the cartilage of your ear, making you inhale deeply.

“Would you like to dance with me?” He asked.

“What about your drink?” You asked, turning your head towards him.

“Fuck the drink.” He grabbed your hand and led you back to the living room.

Jake didn’t have a single fucking dance bone in his body. You knew that from high school, watching him attempt to dance to entertain a few of the girls he had liked. They wanted to dance, and he wanted to just stand there and look pretty. One of them actually got him to dance, to which you stopped and watched because he looked fucking ridiculous. But now, everything had changed.

The way he gripped your hips wasn’t the same way that he did in high school. He was more sure of himself now, gripping them with fervor. His hands guided your hips the way they did when you would ride him, pulling you against him in time with the music. Your fingers slid through the cracks of his, keeping his hands there - never wanting them to move. Your heartbeat pounded in your chest, you worried that Jake could hear it.

You could feel him grow harder and harder with each passing minute. You pulled away from him, turning around so you faced him. Your arms wrapped around his neck while his hands regained their rightful place on your hips. Your lips brushed against his, wanting nothing more than to taste him.

Fate, however, had other plans ending with you slipping on a scarf someone had dropped, hitting your head on the floor on the way down. Jake and Josh had tried shaking you awake, failing in their attempts to do so. Jake drove you home, stealing Sam’s car for the night, knowing damn well that they won’t be sober enough to drive it until tomorrow around five in the afternoon.

You were confused as to why you woke up in your bed, you looked around you for any context clues. You found nothing, not a single thing was out of place from where you left it yesterday aside from your costume being draped over your chair. You walked over to your full length mirror to look at yourself. You noticed your makeup was gone, and most of the jewelry you were wearing was placed on the vanity.

You walked out of your room, forced by the smell of freshly made coffee. You notice Jake in your kitchen, shirt on and in his underwear. You leaned against the wall, reveling in the sight before. You could never quite get used to the sight of seeing him in your kitchen, so domestic. “You doing okay, feelin’ alright?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. My head kinda hurts, what even happened last night? Did I blackout or something?” He chuckled, handing you a cup of coffee. He made it just the way you like.

“Not quite.” You made a curious face at him, waiting for him to continue. He took a quick drink from his cup, collecting himself. “You slipped on something someone left on the floor, hit your head and knocked yourself out. I drove you home and took you out of your costume. I didn’t think you’d mind me seeing you naked.”

“You are correct. I’m not sure how I’d feel with any of the other boys seeing me naked.”

“What about Joy and Mackenzi?”

“What about them?” You asked, walking over towards him. You sat down at the island, putting your cup down in front of you before crossing your arms.

“You kissed them last night.” He stood across from you, leaning forward on the island. You tried so hard to bite back a smile, almost failing in your attempt. You bursted out laughing to which he responded, “What?”

“Jake. Why are you jealous of Joy and Mackenzi?” You asked, the second half of your question hung in the back of your mind: when I’m not even your girlfriend?

“I’m not jealous,” he says, but the falter you found in the cracks of his voice made you think otherwise. “I might be a little jealous.”

The two of you laughed, comfortable silence settling between each other. You got up from your chair and walked over to him. You wrapped your arms around his middle, his arms instinctively wrapping around you. You stayed like that for what felt like hours, but was only a few minutes. He spoke into your hair, “I’ve really missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Jake.”

“They told me you didn’t really leave your apartment.”

“I didn’t. And if I did, I didn’t see any of them. I kind of needed my space from everyone.” Your arms were still wrapped around him, but you were facing him now instead of hiding your face in his chest. “You really hurt my feelings, Jacob.”

“I’m sorry. I -” His phone rang, taking the two of you out of your conversation. You could tell he didn’t want to let go of you, reluctance dripping from his gaze. He picked it up, you tuned it out, trying your best to finish whatever was left of your coffee. “Danny and Sam, well mostly Sam, want to go to karaoke later tonight. They wanted to know if we’d like to join them for lunch before?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

“Yep. We’ll be there. Three?” He took his phone away from his face, seeing what time it was. You looked over to the clock above your stove. It was almost noon already. “Yeah we can be there at three. See you then.”

“We should get going if both of us want to have time to shower.” You nod, heading into your room to grab some things. You also grab some of Jake’s stuff he had left in your apartment last time.

“Here, you can use these. You left them last time you spent the night.” He took the pair of boxers and old t-shirt from your hands, fingertips brushing against the skin on the back of your hand. He smiled at you, thanking you with a slight nod. “Did you maybe want to shower together? To save water, obviously.”

“Right. No other reason.” He nodded, pretending to go along with your ruse, both of you saw through it. You smiled, grabbing the tips of his fingers with your own, leading him towards your bathroom.

Once the door had been shut, you began to strip off your clothing, until Jake stopped you. His hands replaced yours and helped you take off your shirt. He helped you step out of the pajama shorts he had put you in along with your panties. In exchange, you helped him. You lifted the t-shirt he was wearing over his head, the view of his body never getting old. Every time was like the first time all over again. He still took your breath away. You slid his boxers down his legs, turning on the hot water in your shower.

You let him step in first, taking most of the hot water. You step in behind him, watching the way the water fell down his face and body. Jake was so fucking beautiful. Everything he did absolutely took your breath away. Even now. All he’s doing is standing there, letting the water completely saturate his hair, head tilted back as he runs his hands through his hair. He looked so beautiful.

“Come here.” He grabbed your bicep, bringing you closer to him. You smiled, the sudden change in temperature causing goosebumps to rise all across your body. Part of it was the close proximity of the two of you, not having been this close to him - especially naked - since the cabin. “Want me to wash your hair?”

“As long as you’ll let me wash yours.” His smile is sincere, grabbing the shampoo and squirting it into the palm of his hand. He gestured for you to turn around, and you did so and almost moaned right away feeling his hands in your hair.

As soon as you had rinsed the shampoo out of your hair, you put shampoo in his. Your fingertips scratched his scalp, making sure to really clean the roots of his hair. You watched the way his eyes closed, drinking in the feeling. You pressed a light kiss to his forehead, tipping his head back as you helped rinse out his shampoo. You conditioned his ends and yours and lathered both of your bodies up with soap.

You stayed in the shower an extra twenty minutes after you had finished everything you needed to. Your arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close to you. You wanted to hold him there forever and never let him go. “We shouldn’t have stopped this.”

“This what?”

“This - us,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead, fingertips running up and down your back. “It was hard to be without you.”

“It was hard for me too. Josh dropped takeout by my door every couple of days cause he didn’t know if I was eating or not.” You admitted to him, which wasn’t a total lie. You weren’t really eating, but if you hadn’t had Josh there for you, you really wouldn’t have eaten at all. “We should get out, I’m getting all wrinkly.”

You handed him a towel after you got out, you wrapped it around you to combat the cold you were feeling. He got dressed next to you, stealing your brush to brush through his hair. You laughed at him, never seeing him brush his hair before. He watched you as you applied a little makeup - enough to make you look a little less dead.

The car ride over was fun, switching between talking about the party last night to the events that would follow lunch. You hadn’t done karaoke with the boys since you guys were in middle school, watching Josh truly sing for the first time. It blew you away how good both him and Josh were. It didn’t surprise you though - they were twins after all. “You ready to hear Sam and Danny butcher your favorite songs later?”

“Beyond ready.” You smiled over at Jake, walking into the diner they had settled on for lunch.

—

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[morganaspendragonss]

Hello 🥰 Whump fic idea :)TK lands in the hospital, again. But this time they're serious, serious injuries, he is under a respirator, he is not breathing on his own, the doctors do not give him much chance of survival, they even advise it would be the best to prepare for the worst and say goodbye, just in case. Owen calls Gwen, she's arriving the same day with Enzo and baby junior. When in the hospital they find out how it happened and that it's mostly Owen's fault (I don't know, for example, he allowed Tk to enter the unstable building to tend to the patient, or whether he made someone else angry and this person unloaded it on TK, or Owen decided to do something reckless and TK wanted to save him or it is The arson situation from 2x12 so Gwyn arrives pregnant, without a baby of course), Gwyn slaps him twice and Enzo punches him right in the nose, breaking it, for risking TK's life. Fortunately, despite the bad prognosis, TK wakes up, but after he took his sweet time being in a coma.

holly's august extravaganza day 3: the meetings for those in my wake

thanks for the prompt! i really loved writing this one though i need to confess to toning it down a little? idk but with the way it was going it didn't feel right to have enzo break owen's nose. i hope you still like it!

ao3 | 3.3k | major character injury, coma, angst with a happy ending

For years after the divorce, Gwyn came to learn that any call from Owen was almost certainly bad news.

TK got in a fight.

TK overdosed.

TK was shot, he’s in the hospital.

Over and over, until the first words out of her mouth whenever Owen’s name flashed up on her screen were, What’s wrong?

Things have been better in the three years since her time in Texas. Gwyn suspects it’s partly TK’s influence—he’s been more than enthusiastic in getting to know his baby brother, and Isaac has latched onto TK despite only seeing him in person every few months or so. But they’ve talked as well, she and Owen, and they really are doing better. They’re almost like friends now, which is why Gwyn thinks nothing of it when he calls just after she’s put Isaac to bed for the night.

“Owen, hey,” she greets. “What’s up?”

The silence she’s answered with is the first sign that something’s wrong.

The sob that follows is the second.

“Owen?” Gwyn repeats, louder this time, her heart leaping into her throat. She sits down heavily on the sofa as she waits for Owen’s response; there’s only one thing that could make him cry like that, and tears prick at Gwyn’s eyes as she imagines TK hurt again, or worse.

“Gwyn,” Owen eventually manages to gasp out, voice wrecked. “Gwyn, it’s TK. He’s… You need to get here. You need— It’s not like last time. They don’t know if he’s going to— They don’t think— It’s bad. Really bad.”

Owen breaks off, crying harder, and Gwyn claps a hand to her mouth. She remembers well how devastated he’d been when he called about the gunshot, but this a whole other level. Gwyn’s head spins with the potential implications of that and she finds her breath coming in sharp gasps, but it’s Owen’s next words that knocks it from her altogether.

“They think we should say goodbye.”

The rest of the story comes haltingly—someone got angry after his son couldn’t be saved on a call, he came to the firehouse, he attacked TK—but Gwyn barely hears it. Her boy is in the hospital again and this time…this time he might not be coming home. She can’t understand it; she spoke to him just two days ago, they made plans for he and Carlos to visit for Isaac’s birthday, and now…

“I’m so sorry, Gwyn,” Owen finishes. She feels a flash of that age-old urge to scream at him, but she fights it off, not wanting to wake Isaac.

“I’ll be on the first flight over,” she promises, then ends the call, sliding off the couch to the floor. Her phone falls from limp fingers and harsh sobs tear from her throat, muffled by the press of her fist against her mouth.

Enzo finds her there an hour later and immediately takes her in his arms, not complaining about her tears soaking his shirt. When she tells him what happened, he insists on joining her, and Gwyn allows herself to take that shred of comfort and run with it.

She thinks it’s the only comfort she’s likely to get right now.

The next flight isn’t until morning, so Gwyn spends a sleepless night packing and unpacking their suitcases and making phone calls with the firm and her clients to cancel everything for the foreseeable. She has the brief, terrible thought about whether she should pack funeral attire, which almost sends her into a panic attack as reality hits her all over again.

Enzo saves her from it, gently guiding her to bed, but not before she packs the clothes anyway.

Isaac seems to pick up on her mood when they’re hurrying out of the house, remaining mostly quiet aside from the odd question about where they’re going. He perks up considerably when he finds out they’re heading to Austin, babbling about seeing TK, and Gwyn has to blink hard to keep from crying again. Enzo reaches over to take her hand, and he barely lets go until they’re landing in Austin.

*

The entrance to the ICU looms before her, and Gwyn feels stuck. There had been a part of her, still, that had hoped to find TK miraculously awake and on the mend, like the last time she had made this trip. She doesn’t want to believe that he’s here, hurt, maybe dying.

But he is, and she’s forcefully reminded of that fact when a kind-looking nurse approaches her hesitantly.

“Ma’am? Can I help you?”

Gwyn blinks at her, her brain taking a moment to catch up. “I, um. I’m here to see my son. TK Strand.” She pauses, then shakes her head, cursing herself internally. “Tyler Kennedy Strand.”

The nurse’s entire demeanour changes, a sympathetic smile taking over her face. “This way.” She leads Gwyn through the ICU, then points at a door near the end of the corridor. “Tyler’s room is just there. I promise, we’re doing everything we can for him.”

Gwyn nods absently, her gaze stuck on the door the nurse had indicated. She walks forward slowly, the room seeming to get further and further away until, suddenly, she’s standing on the threshold, and she sees her son.

TK is barely visible, his face half-obscured by the ventilator, half by bruises, and heavy gauze covers his forehead. His arms, resting limply at his sides, are littered with scrapes, and if Gwyn squints, she can just about make out more bandages peeking out from under the hospital gown.

She’d thought that seeing him would make it all real, but she feels separate from everything somehow, only one thought going through her mind on repeat.

This is not my son.

A quiet whisper draws her attention to the figure sitting at TK’s side. Gwyn has to suppress a gasp as she takes in Carlos’s appearance; she hasn’t seen him in person since the wedding last year, and his pale face and red-rimmed eyes cut a stark contrast to that day. He hasn’t noticed her yet, wholly fixated on TK, one hand gently stroking the tufts of hair poking out above the bandage. His lips move and Gwyn knows she should walk away, but instead she finds herself leaning closer, straining to hear Carlos’s words.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he’s saying. “I know you’re fighting and I know you’re going to try as hard as you can to come back to us—believe me, Ty, I am praying every day to see those pretty green eyes of yours open again. But I—I want you to know that it’s okay if you can’t. If it gets too hard, if you need to let go, you can. I already miss you like crazy and I really, really, don’t want to live the rest of my life without you, but the thing I can’t stand more than that is the idea of you suffering.

“Come back if you can, but if someday you find you can’t, remember that I love you and we’ll be okay. I promise.”

Carlos sniffs and ducks his head to place a gentle, lingering kiss on TK’s cheekbone. It’s such a tender, intimate moment, but it quickly shatters when Carlos looks up and spots her, his eyes going wide. “Gwyn. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were there.”

She waves him off, willing herself to finally step into the room. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have said something, but I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Carlos nods, giving her a small, sad smile, which Gwyn does her best to return. She pulls up another chair and sinks into it, reaching out to take TK’s hand. She’s startled by the coolness of his skin, and more tears burn in the back of her eyes.

“What did the doctors say?” she asks, clearing her throat and twisting her body towards Carlos, though her eyes never leave TK.

“That it was a miracle he made it through surgery,” Carlos says, sighing wearily. “Eight stab wounds, too much blood loss, damage to his organs, broken ribs—that’s all bad enough, but they’re most worried about his brain. He took at least two blows to the head, and add that to the fact he wasn’t breathing for a good few minutes… They keep saying not to speculate, but we all know the odds here.”

Carlos’s voice breaks and Gwyn reaches out to comfort him, feeling sick to her stomach at the revelation. Why anyone would do this to her boy, she can’t comprehend; she finds herself both wanting answers and feeling unable to take any more.

Owen chooses that moment to appear in the doorway, looking every bit as wrecked as he sounded on the phone. “Gwyn,” he says roughly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Carlos moves as if to give them privacy, but Gwyn shakes her head at him, cutting off his protests before he can even get them out. “You stay with him, Carlos,” she tells him. “We’ll talk in the hall.”

They head to a quiet spot not too far from TK’s room, and Gwyn turns to face Owen, holding her arms. “What the hell happened, Owen? Why is our son lying in there, not even breathing on his own?”

A flicker of a frown crosses Owen’s face. “I told you—”

“No, you didn’t.” Gwyn clenches her jaw, staring him down. “You said he’d been attacked, not that some maniac had used him as their personal punching bag.”

A few more seconds pass before Owen relents, sighing. “There was a call,” he starts, voice heavy with sorrow. “A car accident; dad and his kid were trapped inside. We got the dad out but the son was stuck pretty good. It took a long time to free him and by then it was too late—EMS did their best, but he was gone.

“The dad went ballistic, screaming at all of us, but especially at TK. We don’t really know why, but it was probably a convenience thing; TK had been the one to break the news, he was the closest person—the guy wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. He threatened him, tried to hit him—the cops had to arrest him eventually, but you know TK. He refused to press charges, said that the dad was just in shock and that he understood.”

Gwyn smiles a little at that; her son has always been too forgiving for his own good. It’s never come back to hurt him this badly before, though.

Owen pauses, throat bobbing as he seems to work up to the next part. His voice is quiet, and he seems reluctant to meet Gwyn’s eyes. “He showed up at the firehouse a week later—the dad, I mean. He said he wanted to apologise and, I swear, Gwyn, he really did seem genuine. None of us wanted to let him near TK, but ultimately it was TK’s decision. They went round the side of the house to talk; when neither of them came back after twenty minutes, we went looking.

“By that time, the guy was gone, and TK was…” He stops and shakes his head, swallowing hard. “He could barely breathe. Tommy and Nancy did what they could and they got him here quickly, but we have no idea how long he’d been like that before we found him.”

Gwyn’s head snaps up, a white-hot anger flashing through her. “I can’t believe you,” she hisses. “You left our son alone with a man who had already threatened him for twenty minutes, Owen.”

Owen frowns. “I told you, he seemed genuine. And TK—”

Gwyn can’t help it; she slaps him. “Don’t you dare,” she grounds out, crowding into Owen’s space. “Don’t you dare act like this was his fault.”

“I wasn’t—”

Her arm moves on instinct, but before she can connect again, a hand closes around her wrist. Gwyn turns to find Enzo staring at her, brow wrinkled in confusion.

“Gwyn, what’s going on?”

She shakes her head and takes a step back from Owen, freeing herself from Enzo’s grasp. “What’s going on,” she responds tightly, “is that he is part of the reason why my son is half-dead in there.”

Enzo gapes between them. “What?”

She ignores the question, needing to focus on anything else to keep her anger from overwhelming her. “What are you doing here anyway? Where’s Isaac?”

“He’s with Grace and Judd, they offered to babysit so I could come here. What—”

“Hang on,” Owen interrupts. “What is he doing here? I figured he’d stay in New York with the kid.”

“Isaac is TK’s brother, Owen,” Gwyn says, turning on him again. “And Enzo has just as much right to be here as any of us; he was more of a father to TK than you were sometimes.”

Owen’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “Him? You’re joking, right?”

Gwyn isn’t sure what happens next, who starts it, but soon they’re all yelling, insults and accusations flying around the ward. There’s a furious nurse heading their way, but before she can say anything, another voice cuts through the argument, quiet and trembling but still somehow powerful.

“Get out,” Carlos says. “All of you.”

They all turn to him, Gwyn’s lips parting in shock. Owen takes a step towards him, holding his hands out in a gesture that’s probably meant to be pacifying.

“Carlos—”

“I mean it, Owen,” he snaps, harsher than Gwyn has ever heard him before. “You all screaming at each other is the last thing any of us needs, least of all TK. The only person to blame in all this is the guy who attacked him, and he’s already in custody; he’ll get what’s coming to him. If TK—” Carlos breaks off, clenching his jaw and staring down at the floor. He closes his eyes for a moment, before breathing out shakily and looking back up at them. “If anything changes, I’ll call you, I promise. But you can’t be here right now. Go, please.”

Carlos doesn’t wait for a response before turning on his heel and going back into TK’s room, reassuming his position next to the bed. Gwyn watches him for a second, nodding when Enzo pointedly takes her elbow.

“He’s right,” she says, directed at Owen. “We should go.”

Owen glares, gearing up to argue again, but he must think better of it as he suddenly slumps, all the energy draining out of him. “Right,” he mutters. “Right.”

They file slowly out of the ICU, closely watched by the hard eyes of the nurse from before. Gwyn spares one last look before forcing herself forwards; if getting here was hard, walking away is a thousand times worse.

*

Three weeks pass with no change and, crucially, no improvement. Gwyn spends more time with Carlos than she ever has before, and she hates that it’s her son being comatose that has brought the two of them closer. A tentative peace exists between her and Owen and she knows—truly, she knows—that the attack wasn’t his fault, that there was nothing that could have stopped it.

But she can’t help but be angry that, once again, her son was seriously hurt and she wasn’t around.

She takes Isaac to see TK once, when the worst of the bruises have faded a little. She worries that he’ll be scared, and he does seem to hesitate when they reach the room; in truth, Gwyn hadn’t wanted to bring him at all, but he’d kept asking about TK and she’d found herself helpless to do anything but acquiesce.

They still haven’t told him what’s going on. No-one knows how to. All Isaac knows is that TK is a little hurt and he needs rest, and even that knowledge seems to upset him.

Once he gets used to the sight, Isaac stretches his hands out to the bed. “TK,” he says simply, looking pleadingly up at Gwyn.

She hugs him close, trying to smile for him. “TK’s asleep, sweetie,” she explains. “He needs rest.”

“When wake up?”

“I don’t know, baby. I don’t know.”

*

Three weeks pass, and the doctors start talking about options and next steps. It’s obvious what that’s code for—they want to pull the plug. They’re told to take all the time they need to discuss it but, ultimately, the decision will be Carlos’s, as TK’s husband and next of kin.

Gwyn knows what choice he’s going to make; it’s the same one she, or anyone else in his position, would make.

That doesn’t make it any easier to bear, for any of them.

Gwyn finds him in the hallway, bent over with his head in his hands. She goes over and quietly sits in the chair next to him, placing a comforting hand on his back.

There’s a long silence before Carlos sniffs and turns to her, his face the picture of devastation. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this, Gwyn,” he whispers, voice cracking. “How am I supposed to just give up on him like that?”

She shakes her head. “You’re not giving up on him, Carlos. You’re letting him go.”

“I don’t know how to do that either.”

“None of us do.”

Silence again, but this time, it’s Gwyn that breaks it first. “Listen, Carlos, I know this is hard. God knows I wish none of us were even here. But we are, and we have to do what’s best for everyone, including TK.”

“I know that,” Carlos admits. “I just don’t want to lose him.” He closes his eyes and leans into Gwyn, allowing her to wrap him in a hug. “I wish we had more time.”

Gwyn’s heart breaks all over again, and she squeezes his shaking shoulders. “We’ve got time,” she says, though she knows that’s not what he meant. “As much as you need.”

The sob she’s answered with tells her there’s not enough time in the world for Carlos to say goodbye to TK.

*

The call comes in the middle of the night. Dread pools in Gwyn’s gut as she accepts it and lifts the phone to her ear, her hands trembling.

“Owen?”

“Gwyn. TK, he—he woke up. It was only for a few seconds, but he woke up, Gwyn. The doctors said it was a miracle; they think he might actually recover.”

Gwyn gasps, a sob crawling up her throat as the news sinks in. It’s everything she’s been praying for ever since that first call, and all she can think about now is getting to TK.

“I’ll be at the hospital in fifteen,” she says. She ends the calls and raises her hands to her face, wiping away the tears beginning to fall from her eyes.

Maybe this nightmare is finally coming to an end.

*

TK is off getting tests when Gwyn arrives, but she’s finally allowed back in the room an hour later, Carlos and Owen on her heels. The ventilator has been removed, replaced by a nasal cannula, and his eyes are open—barely to slits, but Gwyn doesn’t care. TK is awake and alive, and that’s all that matters.

As soon as she’s in the chair by the bed, she reaches out for him, her touch feather-light as she strokes his cheek. “My brave boy,” she whispers wetly. “My brave, brave boy.”

TK’s head rolls on the pillow so he’s facing her and he mumbles something that’s probably meant to be a greeting, but the words jumble together and come out as gibberish.

Gwyn thinks it’s the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard.

They’ve all been briefed about the risks of brain damage and all the potential lasting consequences which could impact the rest of TK’s life. But right now, as she holds TK’s hand with Carlos on his other side and Owen at her back, Gwyn chooses to take solace in the constant rise and fall of TK’s chest and the heart monitor beeping out a steady rhythm.

There’ll be enough time for worry later; for now, her son is alive, and Gwyn can’t think of anything else that's more important.

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Epilogue 3: A Love So Tender

A/N:  Well, here it is, folks...the last epilogue of The President Wears Prada series.  It’s been a blast.  Like with Alone, Together and The Storm Before the Calm, we’ve created a little community on this blog, except this time we joined together during quarantine and a global pandemic!  I posted the prologue to this April 27th (so right in the thick of it lol) and I’ve been so happy giving you guys something to look forward to every Monday these past eight months!  Keep asking your Willberdeen canon questions forever and ever!

Be on the lookout for the post date of my Brock Boeser mini-series “Peaceful Easy Feeling” -- I’ll announce it and put it on my Masterlist.  Then, I’ll start my next big series!

As always, happy reading :)

March 2034

“Mooooommmmmyyyyyy!  Mommy look!” six-year-old Saoirse Nylander ran through the house to the kitchen where she knew her mom was ready with breakfast.  “Look!  Daddy let me do my own hair!”

Aberdeen looked down at her daughter to see her blonde hair fixed in to a half ponytail…well, a six-year-old’s version of a half ponytail.  Aberdeen smiled down at her daughter.  “Looks good!” she smiled.  “Can I fix it a little bit before we go to Andy and Maia’s house?”

“Can I eat first?” Saoirse asked as Aberdeen heard more footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Of course!  Your oatmeal is right over there,” she nodded her head towards the bowl already set up for her daughter.  As Saoirse moved and climbed into the counter stool to eat, Aberdeen looked to her left to see William enter the room, holding their three-year-old son in his arms.  “My two Williams,” she smiled.

“Mowning mama,” William Jr. said as Willy placed him down in his own stool, his own bowl of oatmeal also ready to go.  

William walked around the island and gave Aberdeen a kiss on the cheek before placing his hand on her stomach tenderly.  “Morning, minskatt,” he said before pouring himself some coffee.  He looked back at his kids, eating their oatmeal.  “Are you excited to see Maia, Saoirse?”

“Mhm,” she smiled.  “Can I bring my colouring book so Maia and I can colour?”

“Of course you can!” William smiled.  “You know how much Maia loves to colour with you.”

“When you and mommy get home, I’m gonna have a beeeeeeautiful picture,” Saoirse exclaimed before spooning some more oatmeal into her mouth.

Both Aberdeen and William looked at their fridge, adorned with ripped out pages from colouring books that Saoirse and William Jr. did for them.  “We can’t wait,” Aberdeen smiled.

***

“Mr. and Mrs. Nylander, I know that we’ve confirmed your pregnancy,” Dr. Collinson spoke to the happy couple.  

“We needed the tie-breaker,” William joked.

“Indeed,” he chuckled.  “But I must ask you both…have you gone through any fertility treatments that I’m not aware of?  IVF, artificial insemination?”

William and Aberdeen looked at each other before looking back at their doctor – the same doctor who had been there and helped birth Saoirse and William Jr.  “No…” William shook his head.  “We figured we were okay…I mean, with Saoirse’s and William’s pregnancies being pretty easy with no major complications, and the fact that we didn’t have to try for very long before Aberdeen got pregnant…” he trailed off.

Dr. Collinson nodded his head.  “That’s good to know.  Because I do have some further news for you.”

“What’s that?” Aberdeen asked.

“You’re having twins.”

The words hung in the air for an excruciatingly long period of time.  “Excuse me?” Aberdeen asked.

“Twins.  You’re having twins, Mrs. Nylander.”

Aberdeen looked over at William.  “I’m going to cut your penis off.”

***

“TWINS!!!!!” Bee exclaimed, jumping up and down as she hugged Aberdeen.  “Twins, Aberdeen!  Oh my goodness!”

“More Nylanders?” Morgan piped in.  “Christ almighty.”

***

“TWINS?!” Aleida was shocked when Aberdeen told her the news over the phone.  “Twins!”

“Who’s having twins?” Aberdeen could hear Fred’s voice in the background.

“Aberdeen and Will!”

There was a pause.  “More Nylanders?  Good God.”

***

“Twins, William?  You knocked her up with twins?” Jason deadpanned into the phone.

“We’ll have four, just like you,” William said.

“More Nylanders…Jesus Christ.”

***

“Oh!  What fantastic news!” Svea beamed over the FaceTime call.  Elias was smiling beside her.  “You must be so excited, guys.”

“We are.  We joked that we were only supposed to have one tie-breaker though,” Aberdeen said, looking at William beside her briefly.  “Now we’re getting two.”

“Do you know the sexes?”

“Not yet.  In a few weeks they’ll tell us if they’re identical or fraternal, and I think that will be very informational,” William said.

“More Nylanders…” Elias shook his head.  “God help us all.”

***

“This is fantastic news, Aberdeen.  You’re such a great mom already,” Brendan said from across the table, his smile stretching from ear to ear.  “Saoirse and Will Jr – I mean they’re just delights.”

“Thank you, Brendan.  There will be two more to add to the MLSE family room during games.  Not to mention more Nylanders occupying the city of Toronto.”

“More Nylanders…wow.”

***

September 2034

The Toronto Maple Leafs and the entire MLSE organization would like to extend our heartfelt congratulations to William Nylander and his wife Aberdeen Bloom on the birth of their twins, Jonas Alexander and Astrid Elina.  Jonas and Astrid join big siblings Saoirse and William Jr.  

***

November 2035

BREAKING: Aberdeen Bloom, the youngest person ever to win the Booker Prize for Fiction, has just won the prize for a second time for her latest novel, A Love So Fond.  Bloom becomes the third woman (after Hilary Mantel and Margaret Atwood) to win the Booker Prize twice, but the first woman under forty to accomplish the feat.  

***

The First Monday in May, 2036

William looked at Aberdeen lovingly as she touched up her lipstick in the mirror of their hotel room.  She was wearing a beautiful dress, styled to perfection.  He was wearing a suit, tailored to equal perfection.  “You look beautiful, minskatt,” he said, hoping it would calm her down a bit.  He knew she was nervous.

She looked over at him as she clicked shut the lipstick tube.  “We’re going to the Met Gala, Willy,” she said as if it was the first time he’d heard the news.  He’d heard.  He’d heard for months now.  Anna Wintour invited them to the event.  Aberdeen screamed bloody murder when she got the invite.  “We’re going to the Met Gala.”

He giggled slightly.  “I know.  Who would have thought all those years ago two kids who hooked up the night of a graduation would make their way to the Met Gala.”

Aberdeen smiled.  “Who would have thought an aspiring writer and a hockey player would accomplish so much that we’d even get invited to the Met Gala.”

“I had nothing to do with this,” William shook his head, smiling.  “You did all of this.  I’m just in the background, remember?”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but smile.  The man in front of her supported her dreams without question.  There was nothing she thought of that William didn’t think she’d be able to accomplish.  Her two Booker Prizes were evidence of that.  Her Governor General’s Awards and Giller Prizes were evidence of that.  Her numerous other awards were evidence of that.  “You’re not in the background, Willy,” she told him once more.  It was something she told him time and time again, even though she knew he was joking.  To think he still used a joke he made when she was twenty-two years old…she couldn’t help but laugh.  “You’re the reason I’m able to do this.”

Their conversation was cut short by Aberdeen’s phone ringing.  When she dug it out of her purse, she saw Orla requesting a FaceTime call.  “It’s the kids again,” she said, holding up the phone and turning around so that when she answered it, whoever was calling would see both their parents.  When she accepted, she saw Saoirse’s face first.  “Hi baby,” Aberdeen cooed.  “Did you forget to tell us something?”

“Maia wants to know if she can come over this weekend to play.  Is that okay?” she asked.

“Of course,” William answered.  “I’ll talk to Uncle Morgan about it when we get home tomorrow night.”

“Let me see!” William Jr.’s voice was heard off camera.  Soon, Saoirse had turned the camera around so he could see his parents.  “Hi mom and dad.”

“Hi baby,” Aberdeen cooed again.  “Do you have a question too?”

“No,” he said.  “You look pretty, mama.”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but swoon.  “Thank you, baby.  Are you having a good time at grandma and grandpa’s house?”

He nodded his head enthusiastically.  “Grandma just made popcorn!”

“Wooooo!  Movie night!” William exclaimed from behind her.  “Be good!  Go to bed on time.”

“I will,” William Junior nodded his head.  “Bye daddy.  Bye minskatt.”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows but couldn’t help but laugh at her son.  She could hear William chuckle from behind her too.  “William!  Why’d you call me that?!”

Williiam Junior didn’t know what the big deal was.  He knew he was named after his dad; it was only fitting that he test his limits and call his mom by her first name too.  “Daddy’s name is William, and my name is William, and your name is minskatt!  Daddy always calls you that!  Hi minskatt, bye minskatt, I love you minskatt.  Minskatt is your name!” he argued like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  

William thought back to so, so many years ago.  To Aberdeen asking him why he called her minskatt and him telling her why.  A tear escaped his eye and he brought his hand up quickly to cover it.  Aberdeen noticed.  She looked back at William Jr.  “Okay William.  We’ll talk more when we get home, okay?  You better be good for grandma and grandpa.”

Aberdeen ended the call with a couple of more air kisses.  When she was finished, she placed her phone down and saw that William kept wiping his cheeks with his thumb.  “Hey…hey come here,” she said gently, walking over to him because she knew he wouldn’t move.  “Was it Junior?” she asked.

William nodded his head.  “You remember what I told you, like, fifteen years ago?  About why I call you minskatt?”

Aberdeen nodded her head automatically.  She’d never forgotten.  “Of course,” she said softly, bringing her hands up to wipe some of his tears away with her own thumbs.  “It was always your dream, wasn’t it?”

William nodded.  He leaned down slightly to kiss her, even though he knew he’d get lipstick on him and that Aberdeen would have to reapply it for the fourth time before they even left the hotel.  “I know you’ve accomplished so much with your writing and I’ve accomplished so much with hockey but my best accomplishment is you.  Us.  Our family.  The love I have for you.”

Aberdeen nodded her head.  She understood.  She knew.  “Mine too.”

“It’s been fifteen years.  Fifteen years and four kids, Aberdeen.  And still.  Still.  I think about you when I’m not even thinking.”

Aberdeen smiled.  She kissed him once more.  “Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker.”

[askthetimetravelboyfriends]

“Dad, can I ask you something?”

He’s been resisting asking long enough -it’s been three weeks since his fathers impromptu visit to Doc’s house, and subsequently since George had dropped the Biff Bomb, and the questions are eating him up on the inside.

He doesn’t know everything about their dynamic, he gets that, but he can’t separate Biff the Bully long enough to imagine Biff his Dad’s Boyfriend.

The thought makes him cringe.

How? Was his dad in an abusive relationship? Had they been in love? Had Doc been right- was the bullying a result of a breakup and lingering bitterness?

And so when George had shown up offering a burger and fries for lunch if Marty felt like a walk, he’d decided then and there that today was the day to get answers.

George glances up at him from where he’s dipping his fries in some ketchup and he arches a single brow.

“What’s on your mind?”

“You and Biff, how did I- I mean I just-“ Marty cuts himself off, and George fails to hide an amused smirk. “I just don’t get it. Didn’t he used to bully you- didn’t he terrorize mom?”

George visibly hesitates, the smirk falling from his face. Marty leaves him to his thoughts, quietly picking at his fries as he waits. Eventually, George sighs.

“Yes, he did.” He agrees. “What Biff and I had… well, it was before all that. We found each other when we were fifteen. Nobody knew- nobody but us. Biff and I, we’d sneak down to the quarry and hike in the woods, even a bike ride or two. It was a well kept secret, and we were okay with that- it’s not like being gay was okay back then, when we were kids a boy holding another boys hand was unthinkable- especially in Hill Valley. He was everything to me. He was kind, he was sweet, he held my hand.”

George falls silent then, gaze falling to his fries, and Marty frowns.

“Dad?”

“As we got older he got nervous about us, worried that his folks would catch on, or that somebody would see us and tell his pop. The summer before junior year -when I met your mother- someone did catch us.”

“What happened?” Marty asks, though he has a feeling he knows and that Doc was exactly right with his guess.

George shrugs his shoulders.

“Well son, you’ve met Biff. I’m sure you can imagine how he reacted when we did get caught- and we did. One of his buddies caught us at the quarry and he told Biff he was gonna tell his pop. Biff panicked and told his friend that it didn’t mean anything, and his friend told him to prove it.”

Marty’s expression hardens, eyes narrowing slightly. Even though George is telling this story with a small smile on his face he’s angry on his fathers behalf, absolutely furious that Biff could throw away what they had- that he could do whatever it is he’d done.

Though in retrospect if he hadn’t, Marty wouldn’t be here. 

“What did he do, dad?”

“He hit me. Beat the daylights out of me, and then left with his friend laughing all the while. I stayed there, I waited to see if he’d come back- and he did. He apologized, told me he was scared. I broke up with him. Scared or not, Marty, you never lay a hand on someone you love.”

Marty nods once.

“Agreed.”

“Biff didn’t take it well, and he turned to tormenting me- likely to keep his friend from saying anything about what he’d seen. Then I met your mother, and here we are.”

Marty nods, processing that information. Doc had been right- which he honestly should’ve expected. Unexpectedly he feels bad for his dad, for how things ended with Biff. He knows it’s for the best -Biff isn’t a good man- but he can’t imagine how it must’ve felt for sixteen year old George McFly to have Biff turn on him.

“I’m sorry, dad.” Marty frowns, and surprise flashes in George’s eyes. “That must’ve been awful.”

“I didn’t tell you that so you’d feel bad for me, Marty.” George laughs softly. “I wanted to be honest with you.”

“So you can be honest and agree that that sucked.”

Ducking his head with a soft chuckle George nods.

“Yes. It sucked.” He agrees. “But I’m happy with your mother, she’s the love of my life. Besides, if it hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have my kids.”

Marty manages a soft smile.

“Thanks dad.” Marty murmurs. The table falls silent then, George happy to finish off his fries while Marty finishes his burger. Only once they’re finished eating does Marty speak again. “Do you think Emmett and I are doing the right thing by waiting for mom to come to us?”

“Maybe.” George shrugs as he neatly gathers his garbage. “That isn’t my choice to make, son. That’s up to you and Doc. Though you might find out if you came home.”

“I know.” Marty groans, following as his dad gets to his feet and heads for the trash can a few feet away.

“Dave and Linda are asking questions, Marty, and your mom and I don’t know what to say. It isn’t our place to tell them anything, and your mother knows that, but it’s getting hard to dodge their questions. Coming home for a few hours might be a good idea, at least to put to rest Dave and Linda’s concerns- they’ve decided we kicked you out.”

Marty snorts, lips twitching upward as they toss away their trash.

“Why was I kicked out?”

George chuckles, bumping his shoulder into his sons as they head toward the sidewalk, setting off toward Doc’s house.

“They’ve had a ton of reasons come and go, sometimes it’s drugs, sometimes it’s that Jennifer is pregnant- but she stopped that quick. Now they don’t know what to think.”

Marty sighs softly.

“I’ll try, dad. This is just- I never expected to have to deal with this. Especially not before I turned eighteen- and even then most of my plans for my eighteenth birthday were to leave. Maybe we still should.”

“I’m not asking you to leave, son- and I don’t want you to. I’m just asking you to try. I know your mother hasn’t reached out either, but she’s having a hard time with this. Even if you don’t want to see her yet, Dave and Linda don’t know what’s going on and deserve to know at least part of what’s happening- and they deserve to hear it from you. Even if you only tell them that you had a fight with your mother and are staying with Doc until it blows over.”

Marty considers his dads words as they walk, taking up the rest of their walk as he thinks it over. Eventually though, he decides that his dad is right. He’s not convinced on the Lorraine front and will likely see what Doc thinks about that, but George is definitely right about Dave and Linda. If one of them had randomly stopped coming home, he knows he would’ve been full of questions.

George stops at the end of the walkway, hands in his pockets as he calmly watches his son, and he smiles when the teenager nods.

“You’re right. I’ll talk to them, tell them- I don’t know yet. Something.”

“Thank you.” George opens his arms, and Marty steps into the tight hug. “It’ll all work out, you’ll see.”

“I hope so.” Marty murmurs. “Thanks dad.”

[wlntrsldler]

She (Bucky Barnes Falling Series)

PROMPT: Bucky has been distant lately. Y/N doesn’t know why.

WARNING: ANGST, fluff, dad!Bucky, Uncle/Aunt Avengers. Tony, Steve and Nat are alive and well.

A/N: LAST PART OF THE FALLING SERIES! i hope you enjoy. 

FALLING | FINE LINE | SHE

SERIES MASTERLIST

-

“He would’ve been so excited.” You turned to your side to see Steve, smiling down at the stomach you were rubbing. “He would’ve been a great dad, Y/N.”

“I know.” 

The two of you looked out to the lake, watching Tony and Pepper attempt to fish. The couple had taken you in after finding out you were pregnant.

Steve was the one who comforted you through your emotions. You spent weeks in the tower with all of them, sleeping in Bucky’s old room. Although he moved out months before that to live with you, they kept the room for Bucky just in case he had to stay in overnight for some missions. The room still smelled like him. There was a photo of the two of you standing proudly on his night stand. 

“He wanted to make sure you were the first thing he saw in the morning,” Steve would tease. You would stare at that photo, hugging Bucky’s pillow tightly against your chest, with tears streaming down your face, every night until you fell asleep. 

And now here you were, 7 months pregnant, with the baby you were meant to raise with the love of your life. You occupied the guest bedroom of the Starks’ lake house, where Steve would periodically visit you to check in on the pregnancy. It was his godchild after all. You two would sit on the patio for the two hours he would come to visit, sharing your Bucky anecdotes with one another and laughing at the stories. By the end of the visit, you two would just look at each other, not saying a word, but you both knew what the other was trying to say. You both lost a part of you after the snap. Bucky took that piece with him.

-

“Stephanie Natalia Barnes,” You scolded, entering your daughter’s bedroom in the compound. You moved into the compound after Tony suggested that keeping the family close and together is the most important thing during this time. You agreed. “Why did your Aunt Pepper just tell me that Morgan said you hit another classmate?”

Your daughter dropped her toys and walked over to you, head hanging low in shame. She clung onto your leg, hugging it tightly. “He was being mean, mommy.”

You sighed, crouching down to be eye-level with her. She looked at you, tears forming in her blue eyes. You melted, instantly engulfing her in an embrace. You rubbed on her back softly, comforting her as she cried. “That doesn’t mean we resort to violence, sweetie.” 

“He made fun of me for not having a papa.”

Your heart broke at your daughter’s words. She was too young to understand what happened a few years ago. She wasn’t around when it happened. She didn’t know of the world that used to be, only the world now. She never got to know Bucky. All she knows is how he looked in pictures, and even those were scarce. 

Steve would come around with some pictures of Bucky before the war but most of their photographs were gone and the ones he had were old and not well preserved. You had a few more recent ones on your phone to show Stephanie. She loved seeing Bucky and making up stories about how she and her father would be best friends. She had a theory that Bucky would let her go to the park everyday and eat ice cream for dinner, things that you wouldn’t let her do. You would just laugh because you actually saw that happening. Bucky would be a sucker for Stephanie, you knew that well. 

She requested for Bucky’s picture to be placed by her bed so she could kiss it goodnight after you tucked her in. “Papa needs to have sweet dreams too, mommy,” she would always say. 

Stephanie was connected to Bucky, even if she never met him. It hurt your heart to think about your daughter having to grow up without knowing the most amazing man. 

“You do have a papa.” You replied, hugging her tighter. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, okay?”

“But how come Morgan gets to play with her dad?” She asked, pulling away from you to have the conversation. She wiped her runny nose on the back of her arm and sat criss-cross in front of you. “They play sledding with Uncle Steve’s shield and he picks her up from school with Aunt Pepper. How come my papa can't do that?”

“He’s not around anymore, baby.” You explained, tears streaming down your face. “Remember how I told you about the snap? When people disappeared? Your papa was one of them.”

“Well, we need to find him, mommy.” Stephanie ordered, getting up from her seat. “Uncle Steve, Auntie Nat, and Uncle Tony are superheroes, right? They can find papa.” 

Stephanie grew close to the rest of the team, going so far as calling them auntie and uncle. She was especially close to the two people she was named after, Nat and Steve. They loved her so much. Stephanie had a bubbly personality, ready and excited to meet new people and form new bonds. Steve was in awe of her natural leadership. She’s the type that commands a room to pay attention to her. Her and Morgan were a force to be reckoned with, teachers often having to separate them because of the powerhouse that they were when they’re together. The two girls often spent their time with Nat. She spoiled them rotten. 

She looked a lot like Bucky- beautiful blue eyes, dark hair, and a smile that could light up a room. Tony started calling her “Mini Bucky,” as an attempt to keep Bucky’s memory alive. It worked well. Your daughter took on the role of her dad’s junior seriously. 

Oftentimes she would bother you or Steve asking which one of the outfits she picked out for school would be something Bucky would wear. Neither of you had the heart to tell her that Bucky never wore purple, glittery t-shirts or pink tutus so you just said, “You should wear what makes you happy, sweetie,” every time she asked. 

Before you could reply to your strong-willed daughter, she was running out of the room. She ran to the common area where the Avengers were sitting around, pointing at various whiteboards, in the midst of what seemed like an important discussion. 

“Uncle Steve!” Stephanie called, charging towards the blond super-soldier. “Uncle Steve!”

He chuckled, picking her up and propping her on his lap. “Hey sweetie, what’s up?”

“I was just telling mommy how you and Auntie Nat and Uncle Tony can find my papa because you guys are superheroes.” She beamed, confidence dripping from her words. 

“Sorry for disrupting you guys,” You excused yourself, standing by the doorway. “Stephanie, come on. They’re busy right now, sweetheart.”

“Actually, Y/N,” Tony started. turning his chair around to face you. “Mini Bucky is right, we can find her papa.” 

You felt your throat get caught in your throat. Did you hear him correctly? Your eyes shifted to the projector in the corner of the room, where photos of the fallen were being shown. Bucky’s picture flashed for a brief second, the ache in your heart growing. It’s been five years without his touch, his kiss, him. You stood there, in shock, absolutely speechless. A big part of you had moved on from hope, accepting the fact that Bucky was gone. But there was a part of you that never lost hope. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts by your daughter’s cheering, already running towards you. “Mommy! Did you hear that? Papa’s coming home!”

You looked at Tony, mouth agape but you were still unable to talk. You picked your daughter up, holding her close to your chest. “Tony, what?”

Tony introduced you to Scott and they explained the entire situation to you. Truth be told, you were confused, a lot of the terms they used went way over your head. You just nodded as they spoke, putting your absolute trust in the hands of the Avengers. You had to believe that they could bring everyone back. They can bring Bucky back. 

As the days continued, the rest of the team started arriving to the compound. Morgan and Stephanie rushed to Bruce and Thor once they arrived, each girl taking turns being in the arms of the uncles they don’t see as often. 

“Lady Y/N,” Thor called, walking over to you with a genuine smile on his face. “Stephanie has gotten bigger since I last saw her.”

“She has,” You laughed, staring off in the distance where she and Morgan were playing with Rhodey. “She’s been asking me where Uncle Thor was. She missed your visits.”

“I know, I missed her and Morgan too.” He confessed, looking down at his stomach. He cringed knowing that he let himself go after he lost hope and lost everyone. “Been a hard few years for me.”

You placed a comforting hand on his back, “Me too. I get it.”

“We will bring your lover back, Y/N.” Thor declared, looking at you in the eye. “Stephanie will meet her father. I’ll make sure of it.”

You just smiled at him, feeling a sense of comfort from his words. You knew he meant it. You gave him a quick hug before making your way inside the compound to pack your bags. Tony wanted you and Pepper to take the girls to his lake house, far away from the compound while they went off in their mission. He wanted you all safe and away from danger. 

You walked into your daughter’s room, starting to dig through her closet for some clothes to take. You quietly folded her pajamas, stuffing it in her pink suitcase, with the faint sounds of their giggling outside. Your eyes darted to the framed photo of Bucky beside Stephanie’s bed. You walked over and held the picture in your hands. 

There was a chance that Bucky could come back and for you to live out the life you’ve always dreamt with each other. You could have a happy, complete, family, filled with love and comfort. You’d have your Bucky and your Stephanie and life would be so, so good. You had faith in the team, you knew they would do anything and everything in their power to bring everyone back home. You started to cry, overwhelmed with the idea of finally getting what you’ve dreamt off for the past 5 years. 

“Mommy?” You turned around and saw Stephanie standing by the doorframe, worry spread across her face. She carefully walked towards you, lip quivering as she saw the tears streaming down your face. “Why are you upset?”

“‘M not upset, sweetheart.” 

She climbed up her bed to get eye level with you. “Then why are you crying?”

“I’m crying because I love you and you papa so much.”

“Oh,” She said, emotions quickly changing. “You get to tell him you love him soon, mommy!”

You let out a wet chuckle, not being able to hold in your emotions any longer. “Yeah, baby. Hopefully.”

-

“Y/N,” Tony knocked on the door of the lake house. He entered the eerily quiet room, finding you and Stephanie asleep on the couch. “Y/N, wake up.”

You felt yourself being shook slightly. You stirred in your sleep, eyes fluttering open. You saw Tony leaned over the couch. “What are you doing back?”

It’s been a few months since they dropped you off at the lake house. Morgan was picked up by Pepper’s family a week ago after she decided that she wanted to help Tony manage everything. It was just you and Stephanie in the lonely cabin. You got an update call from the team once in a while but you knew they were busy so you didn’t bother them by calling first. You were out of the loop so seeing Tony made your heart race. 

You glanced at the clock. 2:17 AM. You knew Stephanie would be cranky if you woke her up now but Tony was back which only meant one of two things- either they lost and he’s there to bring upon bad news or they won and Bucky was back. Judging by the monotone look on his face, your heart sunk to your stomach. 

“Wake your little one up.”

You gulped, afraid of the next words to leave Tony’s mouth. You just built up hope for yourself- for Bucky and for Stephanie. You weren’t ready to lose that shred of hope. Hesitantly, you nodded and started to wake Stephanie up. She groaned in her sleep and dug her head deeper into your chest. “Steph, honey, wake up. Uncle Tony is back.”

“Uncle Tony?” She whispered, rubbing her eyes. Her tired face vanished after seeing her Uncle next to her. “Is papa with you? Did you find him?”

“Why don’t you go look for yourself?”

Stephanie took Tony’s outstretched hand and intertwined her fingers with his. You slipped on your house slippers and followed the two into the darkness of the forestry. There were three figures illuminated by the dim headlights of the car. You almost couldn’t make it out until you saw the shimmer of black metal in the light. Is that really him?

“Buck?” You whispered, voice shaking as you approached. “Bucky, is that you?”

“Y/N.” 

You fell to your knees before you reached him, breaking down into tears. It’s him. It’s really him. Stephanie turned around after hearing you fall. She let go of Tony’s hand and ran over to you, concerned. She wrapped her little arms around you, mumbling, “Mommy, please don’t cry.” 

You heard the leaves rustling from beneath your feet. Then, a pair of strong arms engulfed you both in a tight embrace. A familiar scent filled your nose and you sobbed even harder. “Y/N, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

Tony, Steve and Nat looked at you three and held back their own tears. They knew it would be a beautiful moment, but they didn’t expect it to be like this. The surroundings were quiet, the only things audible were the sounds of crunchy leaves, the swishing of the water, and the silent cries from you and Bucky. 

You pulled back a bit to look at Bucky’s face. You leaned over to touch his cheek, gasping for air when you actually felt him on the palm of your hand. He rubbed against it, turning his head to give it a quick kiss. His cheeks were damp from his own tears and he laughed upon seeing you in utter disbelief. 

“Hi, papa.”

His eyes disconnected from yours after the little voice emerged from under him. Bucky smiled widely, tears spilling from his eyes once again. He tucked a piece of Stephanie’s hair behind her ear using his metal hand. She grabbed it and placed her tiny hand in the midst of it, drawing figure eights. “Hi, sweetheart. So nice to meet you.”

“I talked to you everyday.” Stephanie announced proudly, beaming up at Bucky. “Before I went to sleep, I talked to you about my day. Do you remember that papa?”

“No, I don’t, sweetheart.” Bucky said breathlessly, looking at you in adoration as if saying, ‘Did we really make her?’ “You need to tell me again.”

“Okay.” She replied, cuddling into Bucky’s side. “I can’t wait to show everyone my papa.”

“Steph,” Steve called, slowly walking up to the three of you. “Let’s give your Mommy and your Papa some time.”

“M’kay,” She muttered, getting up from the floor. She intertwined her fingers with Steve and they walked over to Tony and Nat. “But I get to tell papa all about my day afterwards, okay Uncle Steve? I’m so excited to talk to him.”

Once she left, Bucky took your hands in his and helped you up. You connected your foreheads, breathing each other in. It was real. He was really there in front of you. “Bucky…”

“Hey, love.” He smiled, nose nudging yours. His lips brushed past yours, testing the waters. You responded by locking your lips with his. Your lips moved in sync, arms wrapping themselves around his neck. God, you missed him. You pulled away, out of breath, after a few minutes of kissing. You closed your eyes, not believing the fact that he was really there. As if he read your mind he whispered, “Open your eyes, my love. I’m right here.”

-

“Papa! Papa, look!” Stephanie came running in the living room, waving a piece of paper around. “Look, I drew our family for school!”

Bucky emerged from the kitchen, taking a look at the paper she was showing him. He picked her up and she immediately fit her head in the crook of his neck. He grinned, staring at the picture. It was a drawing of him, metal arm and all, you, herself, and a little boy. Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, “Bubba, who’s the boy?”

“Oh, it’s my baby brother.” She replied nonchalantly, like it was a known fact. 

His eyes widened in surprise. He had only been back for a few months, he didn’t even think about expanding his family. Of course he wanted to but he didn’t know if it was something that you were even considering. “You don’t have a baby brother.” 

She motioned for Bucky to put her down. Once he did, she looked up at him, responding to his question. “No, not yet. But I want one.”

Stephanie walked away from him, happily skipping away to her playroom. 

“Huh,” Bucky mumbled, lips twitching up to a smile. He found a magnet and placed the drawing on the center of the fridge. He continued to make dinner, waiting for you to come home from work. 

After an hour, he heard the door unlock and your heels clicking against the floor. You popped your head in the kitchen, greeted by a happy Bucky with an apron on. “Honey, I’m home.”

He placed his apron on the counter and walked over to you. He wrapped his arms around you, giving you a sloppy kiss on the cheek. You hummed in response, enjoying the way his body heat warmed you up. You turned to look at the food being prepared, eyes trailing over to the picture on the fridge. “What’s that?”

Bucky placed loving kisses on your neck. “Steph drew a picture of our family for school today.”

“Who’s the little boy?” 

“Her baby brother, she said.” 

You pulled away from Bucky for a second, looking at his dead in the eye. He had a boyish grin on his face, lopsided and toothy. There was a glimmer in his eye. You cocked an eyebrow, “Barnes, do you wanna have another?”

He nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah, I do, babe. I get if you don’t want to have another one yet but I’ve always wanted a big family. And a family with you is the best thing in the world.”

You untangled from him and walked over to your purse, placed next to his discarded apron. You quickly scrolled through your contacts and called Steve. You waited a few moments before he picked up, “Hey, Steve.”

Bucky mouthed, “What are you doing?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks for asking.” You ignored him, continuing your conversation with Steve. “Listen, can Steph spend the night with you tonight? Yeah? Great. Yeah, she’ll be ready in an hour. Okay, thanks, Bye, see you soon.” 

Bucky walked over to you, confused, “What the hell was that about?”

“I’m not gonna emotionally scar our daughter so Steve is taking her for the night.” You giggled, wrapping your arms around his torso. “Let’s make another one.”

His entire face lit up and he picked you up, spinning you around in circles. You squealed in excitement, being a little too loud. Stephanie entered the kitchen, staring at her parents. 

“Are you okay, mommy?”

Bucky put you down and you both stared at your beautiful daughter. As if on cue, you both scooped her up in your arms, telling her how she’ll be spending the night with her Uncle Steve and reminding her that you loved her. 

Needless to say, you definitely had to remind her of your love more once her beloved little brother came in the picture and started to take up a lot of your time. But of course, she loved her brother almost as much as you and Bucky did. Little Anthony Samuel Barnes, the second addition to the Barnes family.

-

MAIN MASTERLIST

tags:

@hurricane-abigail | @youaremyfiveever | @multi-fan-lover | @ladyofhellhounds | @readsreblogsfics | @heda-mikaelson | @winterseba-ficrec | @learisa | @iheartsebastianstan | @5sossebby | @stainedsouvenirfavs | @jessyballet | @vintagemichelle91 | @wxntersoldiers | @tfandtws | @chelsey-3922 | @coffeebooksandfandom | 

[donkey-hyuck]

𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒃; 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒂: 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

three card spreads↴

tarot cards;

the hermit (upright) 

contemplation, search for truth, inner guidance

strength (upright)

inner strength, bravery, compassion, focus

the emperor (reversed)

tyranny, rigidity, coldness

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

word count- 18,355 (woah wtf😳) 

genre- angst baby || fluff || yk just pure angst || high school! au in the beginning || college!au || bittersweet ||

characters/pairing- kinda popular kid!lee jeno x fem!volleyball player!reader || nct dream including mark || sooyoung

warnings- swearing | mentions of cheating but only accusations | dialogue heavy | lowercase letters intended | over usage of words bc i’m irrelevant | spelling/grammar mistakes | a whole relationship rollercoaster | jeno’s a dickhead | lots of self pondering

introduction- maybe you two just had enough of each other. being involved in one another’s lives could have just taken a huge toll on the both of you. so after finally separating practically your whole lives, you may both think you’re fine; but inside, neither of you can let each other go. one heated argument leads to another and you may have just lost your best friend, the love of your life… or maybe you didn’t…. or maybe you did.

taglist! @badwithten​, @jenoji​, @joyfuleggsfishbanana​, @proseeuhn​, @danishmiilk​

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“mommy! jeno just pulled my hair!” your five year old self shouted as five year old jeno huffed and turned the other way. his mother had been out for the day for a job interview and your mother had promised to take care of him. the two of your mothers’ had been friends since middle school, grew up together, went through their adolescence, helped each other with university work. they were the best of friends, inseparable. and when they found out they were both pregnant at the same time, they were ecstatic to raise their children together.

you and jeno had known each other your entire lives up to that point. he was only four months older than you but he acted as if he was so superior, and it just made you ticked off. throughout elementary school—mostly kindergarten and first grade— the two of you never got along and fought constantly. your mothers’ tried to make you like each other but to no avail.

“mom! y/n pinched me!” five year old jeno yelled to his mother as you stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your arms. your mother had brought you along to their house when that happened and it just seemed as if the two of you would never get along.

but all that changed when you entered middle school. well, not completely, but you had his back when he needed it. mostly when you were forced to help tutor jeno in your science class, or when he had a crush on one of your good friends. he had your back too, telling you not to get into fights with the girls who thought they were so much better than you, or trying to set you up on dates with his friends. middle school was truly a place where you and jeno put away whatever feud the two of you had going on. middle school with jeno was actually fun, graduating your eighth grade class, messing around with teachers, meeting new friends. there was just so much enjoyment for the both of you during those years.

when high school came along, the two of you had been in separate classes, you being put in advanced placement and jeno being put in stem. that was kind of the first time you have been separated from each other at school. during your primary days, you and jeno had the same schedules and it seemed like fate wanted you two together. but when you entered high school, you were both more distant toward each other, specifically during all of junior and most of senior year.

freshman year was more of an experience. it was weird to not see jeno through the halls, let alone not have classes with him. but the two of you were just as inseparable as your mothers’, and met up with each other after school anyway, whether it was your mom picking the two of you up or his.

you were two peas in a pod and had seemed to always be teased by your peers, even when you denied liking each other. if it was true or not, no one had believed you and the two of you were stuck as the couple throughout the entirety of freshman year.

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.” as you two said.

but new years of 2016 all changed the way jeno had perceived you. he was invited to a new years party with a few of his friends— na jaemin and lee donghyuck— and jeno had seemingly been gullible enough to believe the lies people were saying about you. about how you started the rumor of him dating a model his age from overseas, the rumor about him making out with younghee during his free period one thursday morning, or the rumor about him liking eunseo. he was furious to know that you were the one who spread all of the gossip around school, pushing past the idea that you and him had been connected by the hip since you were born. pushing past the idea that you truly weren’t like that. but jeno was enraged, nonetheless.

while he was feeding off of lies people had told him that night, your family— as well as his— were spending the new year right. you and your family had been invited to the lee’s for the countdown and you noticed your best friend wasn’t there.

“y/n! jeno’s not here, he’s with donghyuck and jaemin for a new years party tonight. i hope you won’t be bored here,” said his mother with a look of disappointment in her eyes. you shook your head and smiled, “it’s okay, aunty. i have minjung!” although you were excited to have some alone girl time with his older sister, jeno had never told you about attending a new years party that night. and to think about it more, hyuck nor jaem had told you either. it was weird. but you just pushed that all aside and walked down the hall to minjung’s room. at the time you were fifteen and she was eighteen and a well-known senior at your high school.

“minjung!” you bursted through her door and she immediately ran to hug you. “y/n! i missed you!” she hugged back as nal nudged your calf in a greeting. picking up the feline, you walked out of the room to eat and sit in the living room to play some family games.

your two families counted down together and it was officially 2016. your parents had decided to stay for another hour before going back home. but during that hour, hyuck’s mom had dropped off jeno and he was met with your families laughing and having the time of their lives together. another year, another long friendship that was to never end; or so your parents thought.

jeno came home upset that night. he felt betrayed and disappointed that you would say those things about him but all the more that made him angry. his mother had greeted him but he coldly shook it off and took to his room. you were shocked, jeno never acted that way towards his mother. you didn’t notice how quiet it was until your parents nudged you to talk to him.

“uhm.. aunty, uncle. i’ll go talk to jeno, see what’s up with him.” and for some unknown reason, you were nervous walking down to his bedroom.

carefully, you knocked and let yourself slide through the door, “jen…? are you okay? why’d you do that to your mom?” your voice was soft, just more of a way to not trust you. you were a hoax. at least, to jeno you were.

“i’m fine, y/n. get out of my room, i need to shower,” he rushed you out only making you want to say and ask a million questions about what was going on in that moment.

“no. what’s wrong with you? what happened tonight?” your brows furrowed and that was when he turned to you with stone cold eyes.

“none of your business. now get out!”

you don’t think jeno had made you cry since you were little but this was the first time a tear had shed because of the person you cared most about. however, you could never really recall why you cried that night. it wasn’t a bawling kind of cry, more of a sniffly kind of cry. whether it was frustration or shock, you walked out of his room as you wiped your tears with your sweater. it’s probably only a mood, you tried to convince yourself.

boy were you wrong.

the next few months were like this; you constantly trying to get jeno’s attention, crying about losing your best friend, and questioning what had happened to get him so upset at you. it was all a mind-fuck and you missed jeno. and by the time sophomore year was over, you and jeno had seemed to become less and less involved with each other when your parents were invited to their house or vice versa. around midway summer vacation before junior year, you stopped trying to get jeno’s attention because you clearly didn’t matter to him anymore.

both of your parents were confused as to why you stopped talking all of a sudden. you two still saw each other, yes, but there was nothing past the glaring looks of pure hatred. ever since that night, there was never a spare of words between the two of you and your mothers’ were worried.

one morning, before driving off to school, your mother had asked you, “y/n, why don’t you and jeno talk anymore?

“jeno, why don’t you and y/n talk anymore?”

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated.”

—

graduation was two months away and it had been officially two years and a couple months since your friendship breakup.

“hello!! earth to y/n,” waved hyuck with his hands in front of your face. “what’s up with you right now?”

after breaking the news to mutual friends, donghyuck had been stuck between the two of you for the longest time but opted to just stay friends with you and jeno because that wasn’t a petty thing to do. jaemin on the other hand, was a different story. after jeno told jaemin you weren’t friends before he told hyuck, jaemin had texted you to meet by the library to ‘talk.’ turned out, jaemin wanted to stay loyal to his friend and disregard you and your feelings; and that was the end of that relationship. so you basically lost two of your bestest friends within a span of a week without a clue as to why. that was the big question, though…. why?

you blinked as you looked toward his direction. “what do you want, hyuck?” he sighed before answering, “first class is free period, dummy. mrs. choi isn’t here today.” you slowly sighed as well, as donghyuck took you by your hand and dragged you out of the empty classroom.

“let’s go to mr. park’s. we can stay there until class ends. today’s long period anyway,” he explained, dragging you down the hall and up two flights of stairs. donghyuck barged into the room causing everyone to immediately look at the loud boy crashing the lecture.

“lee donghyuck! y/f/n! what are you two doing here? shouldn’t you be in mrs. choi’s room?” mr. park raised a brow.

“ayy mr. park! y/n and i are here because mrs. choi couldn’t make it to class today. besides, you’re our favorite teacher, why else would we come here?” the teacher hummed and excused you to sit at his, fairly large, desk. “just don’t bother my students,” he warned, mostly talking to hyuck. he only responded in a wink and signed a ‘keep going.’

about twenty minutes of unproductive work had passed and you finally looked up to observe the students in mr. park’s stem class. his room wasn’t that big and there were only about nineteen to twenty-four kids in the class. scanning the room, your eyes were met with jeno’s. you slightly snickered as your eyes twitched in annoyance and turned to hyuck.

“hey, guess who’s here.” his brows furrowed as he looked around, finally getting to see jeno. but being the good friend that he was, hyuck waved at jeno before greeting him. they apparently had a handshake and mr. park seemed to notice as he told hyuck to sit back down and for jeno to focus on his work. the tan boy pouted before sitting back at his seat, making some of the girls laugh.

he came back to sit next to you and you rolled your eyes toward jeno and turned to the boy. “really?”

“whaaat? just because you two aren’t friends doesn’t mean that he and i can’t.” what hyuck said was true. you shouldn’t let your aggravation get the best of you. it was donghyuck’s decision to be and to not be friends with people. you huffed out a fine and turned back to your laptop that does not have any completed assignments— though there were only two that you hadn’t done yet. but you knew that free period class was gonna be torture for the next hour or so.

your second period class was, fortunately, in mr. park’s room with hyuck. however, jeno happened to have mrs. choi for second period and asked mr. park to stay in his class for the time being. so while the three of you waited for the students to attend, jeno and hyuck had been messing around and the room filled with their laughter. soon, as the teacher was getting ready for his class, a couple of your extroverted classmates joined along in their joking as you just sat quietly next to hyuck.

while ten minutes had passed of mr. park talking and explaining something along the lines of graphical analysis, hyuck whispered, “what’s up with you today? you’re eerily quieter than usual.” yeah… why were you quieter today?

“uh, i don’t know, hyuck. maybe i’m just not feeling it today, i guess,” you shrugged and looked back to the class work stuck on your desk. then your mind wandered off to the conversation you had with your mother that morning.

“how? you two were the best of friends. what happened to ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart?’” she asked, shoving down a spoonful of rice. but you just shrugged and replied, “hm, i don’t know, mom. he hasn’t spoken a word to me since new years of 2016. it’s been two years. besides, if he doesn’t want to be friends with me without telling the reason, then that’s on him. i quit trying a long time ago.”

it was true. after jeno pushed you off on multiple occasions, you had stopped trying to get on good terms again. he was the immature one in the first place; you just tried to fix whatever was going on.

but soon enough, second period was over and out you were to mr. yang’s ap chemistry class. sooyoung— one of your closest girl friends— had happened to be in that class as well so when you entered the room she immediately called you over. you sat down at the lab table where she was seated and rested your face against it.

“what’s wrong, y/n?” she asked, making you look up at her while rubbing your face from all the questions about your sudden change in behavior.

“nothing much. well… mrs. choi isn’t here today so hyuck dragged me to mr. park’s class and that asshole lee jeno was in there,” you explained to her but she got confused because you never really associated yourself with him since the sudden split. she was about to ask why you were so caught up with him all of a sudden but it was as if you could read her mind because your next sentence was, “my mom asked me about him this morning. she’s still bugging me about why we aren’t friends… his mom too, i’m sure. and i’ve just been thinking about it. usually she would ask and i would answer the same and be fine but i guess today is just not my day.” you'd be lying if you said you didn’t miss lee jeno. you truly did. after all the shenanigans you’ve been through, lee jeno was always by your side.

ugh just stop thinking about it. you told yourself, mentally slapping your face and turning toward the board. but throughout the entire class, you did not pay attention to a word that came out of mr. yangs’ mouth.

once the bell rang, you were snapped out of your trance and quickly packed your things to go to your fourth class of the day— mrs. lim.

walking up the stairs, you met donghyuck in the halls and told him to hurry to mrs. lim’s class before she gets upset. providentially, mrs. lim was short period and there wasn’t much to do besides take notes.

“y/n who do you have next?” donghyuck asked as he waited for you to walk to the door and out to the hallway. “language with ms. jung. you should know this by now, hyuck,” you playfully shook your head and punched his shoulder. he ignored it and asked another question, “oh! so you have first lunch?” you nodded and walked down the stairs to the first floor library.

“yeah but i’m not gonna eat. plus, i don’t know anyone during my lunch.”

hyuck dramatically covered his mouth and gasped. “yes you do, what the fuck? hello… me, duh!” you laughed at his extra self and stuck your hands in your pockets. “i mean besides you. everyone wants to sit with you anyways. and you know i don’t really eat lunch.” your response only made him pout and look at you with a weird face expression. “you know i would rather sit with you any day right, y/n?” you smiled brightly and looked at him. “... i know, but i’m just not hungry. i’ll be in the library for lunch, and after ms. jung’s class. mrs. bae isn’t here today either so i’m just going to spend my time there.”

he muttered in disappointment as he dropped you off at the library before heading to the cafeteria.

“bye stupid. thanks for walking with me.” he smirked and turned around. “bye ugly. i’ll see you here in two hours. love you.”

“love you too.” but a pair of brown eyes watched the whole scene. the scene that made his heart slowly break.

you walked into the library and sat at a vacant three seater table and pulled out whatever you had to finish out of your bag. five minutes had passed of you typing on your computer when a fellow junior— park jisung— walked through the double doors and immediately recognized his favorite senior— you.

“y/n!” he whisper shouted while speed walking to the table you were sitting at. smiling at him, you pulled the chair next to you so he would have a place to sit. then you asked him why he was here.

“mrs. choi isn’t present today so i’m just gonna stay here. mrs. bae isn’t here either, chenle’s gonna come during last period too,” he explained while getting out his computer and a notebook. mrs. bae was your ceramics teacher and it seemed like there were a lot of teachers absent that day; but it was only a regular friday.

after conversing with jisung for another twenty minutes the loud bell signified the end of first lunch and off you were to your language class with ms. jung. you left the library after packing up and bidding jisung a short ‘see ya later.’

however, you forgot lee jeno was also in ms. jung’s class with you until you saw the back of his head turn straight into her room. fuck.

shortly after he walked in and sat down, you walked through the door and toward the back of the class to sit at one of the desks. and you swore jeno was eyeing you down as you passed him, and not in a good way.

but to jeno… he was eyeing you because he just missed you. he missed hanging out with you, especially during class. ever since he had that chat with his mom that morning— as well as seeing you with hyuck in mr. park’s class, and seeing you two announce your appreciation towards each other— he realized that he fucking missed you. so much.

that day was a friday too, so your parents were definitely going over the lee’s tonight. mentally, you rolled your eyes and shut your brain from thinking anything else and to just listen to what ms. jung had planned for the day.

school was boring, though. and your class just continued doing whatever you did during your class, prior.

“okay guys! we’re together for short period on monday, make sure you finish your research over the weekend. you’re free to go.”

you just stuffed your notebook into your bag and walked up the aisle. but you stopped right when jeno had dropped his pen. he picked it up and looked at you,  quietly apologizing. you hadn’t heard him, though; he was too quiet so you just paused until he picked it up and walked out of class to the front lobby. he should’ve just spoken up but he was too late.

mrs. bae didn’t have a substitute to fill in for her so you walked to the library, planning to sit at the same table which, thankfully, already seated chenle and jisung. you sat across from the boys and sighed, laying your head down again.

“what’s wrong?” asked chenle. you lifted your head up and lazily smiled before shaking your head.

“nothing. today’s just been tiring, that’s all. you two do your work. i’m gonna try to take a nap.” they both nodded and let you rest for the remaining time, making sure to wake you up before the bell rang.

—

“hyuck!” you ran up to him. he picked you up from your house that morning and so he was going to drop you off. “we have to pick up jangmi today. she stayed after school to help her teachers prepare for their spring formal.”

“really? sungho stayed after school too. what a coincidence,” he chuckled as he unlocked the car door and started it up. jangmi was your little sister in seventh grade and sungho was donghyuck’s younger brother in the same grade, attending the same school. what your poor little sister didn’t know was that sungho had a tiny little crush on her. so said from sungho to hyuck. it was cute.

they both greeted the two of you and talked about their day staying after school.

“are you guys going to the dance together?” asked donghyuck with a slight laugh, making sungho flush red and stutter, “uh.. i don’t know. it’s up to jangmi. but i don’t have a date yet.” his little brothers response made hyuck laugh and you hit his stomach.

“don’t make fun of sungho. it’s not nice. jangmi, do you have a date for the formal?” you looked at her through the rear view mirror. “no. i don’t even know if i wanna go yet.” hyuck laughed again but you flicked his cheek before he could say anything else to his brother. and then it got awkwardly quiet in the backseat of the acura tlx.

“bye, jangmi! bye, y/n!” said hyuck and his brother. “same time tomorrow morning?” he asked after rolling down the window some more. you responded with a nod and walked into your house after waving one last time to the pair of siblings. only to be met with your mother rushing the two of you to change into something formal. your sister whined and asked why.

“we’re meeting at kwonsooksoo to have dinner with the lee’s.”

“but it’s only three p.m. why do we have to get ready now?” you furrowed your brows.

“because i know you girls will take forever. plus, it’s almost a two hour drive from here. we’re supposed to be meeting them at 7:30.”

that was a typical friday night. each of your parents spending way too much money on food that’ll be half finished by the time you left, awkward and nasty looks between you and jeno, and quiet conversations of you and minjung followed by jeno and jangmi.

so while fixing up the makeup on your face, you slowly stopped swiping the brush on your face and looked in the mirror at your reflection, then to the bedside table where you remember you hid a scrapbook from years ago. setting the brush down on your desk, you turned in the chair you were sitting in and opened the drawer to pick up the polaroid picture filled book.

covering the cream colored pages were silly pictures of the two of you from birth to elementary school, fun patterns of washi tape, and the messy handwriting of you and jeno. looking through the reminiscent book, you remembered the stash of old friendship items in a large shoe box hiding under your bed. quickly, you scrambled to the floor and dragged the dusty, wood-like box from its place.

you opened the top of the box and it looked like how you remembered it looked like when you packed it up two years ago. in the box contained some more photo albums and scrapbooks, a few framed pictures, letters that jeno wrote for your birthday—your seventh, tenth, and fourteenth— a few sheets of guitar notes, and a friendship bracelet each of you made for each other. and looking through all of the memories, a single tear had dropped from your face just as your mother walked in the room. she was going to tell you they were ready to leave until she stopped mid sentence, immediately looking sad at her daughter crying because of the friendship she used to have.

“auh… y/n,” her voice was soft as she knelt on the floor and cupped your cheeks in her palms. you just cried and hugged her, constantly saying that you missed him. you missed lee jeno so damn much. and you could never say it enough.

the lee’s never saw you that night. after that whole breakdown, your mother thought it was best to not let you go. it could’ve caused more erect feelings and she didn’t want that for you, even if she did want you to tell jeno that you missed him. but she didn’t force it on you, and they left the house to meet the lee’s without you.

the following hour, a knock was heard at your door.

it was na jaemin.

jaemin had lived in the area, but you were confused and shocked by his presence back in your life. hesitantly, you unlocked the door and there he stood. from the outside, you probably looked emotionless but on the inside, you were freaking the fuck out.

“na jaemin..? what are you doing here?” you had been straight to the point, not wanting to see his face any longer. but he just dryly chuckled and said, “my mom cut the power at my house. it’s gonna be out for a few days but i just wanted to see if you still lived in the area.” it sounded like he was mocking you and it made your eye twitch in annoyance and asked him what he wanted and why he was here.

“whaat? i can’t see an old friend?” that made you pissed and you shoved the door closed. though na jaemin had a fast reflex, and caught the door with his foot before opening it again. this time, your hand was rested on your hip and the other was holding the door, preventing it to be fully opened.

“we don’t like each other, remember. now spill it or i’ll crush your toes with my door.” you were still as sassy as he remembered and it made him genuinely smile this time.

“calm down, princess. i just really wanted to know if you were home since, you know, you and jeno’s family are out.” how did he know? lee jeno, that’s how. you just rolled your eyes and opened the door wider than it was before he just invited himself in your house. didn't he have any respect?

walking in after him, you watched as he sat down on your couch and you leaned on the wall. the space of your living room was quiet until he broke the silence.

“jeno said that you didn’t go with your family today… that’s why i’m here, okay.” he looked at you with guilt in his eyes.

to be honest, you missed jaemin almost as much as you missed jeno. you confessed it to hyuck, and you were almost 100% sure he told at least jaemin that you missed the two.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered out, “i miss you y/n… jeno and i both.”

you looked to the floor then back to the blonde boy, unbelievably. the boys were pranksters and this could be a sick joke.

“don’t lie to me, na,” you hissed out and pushed yourself off the wall to walk into the kitchen, jaemin following after. he sat at the island and watched as you rummaged through the fridge to find something to drink.

“i’m being sincere. we miss you a lot.”

scoffing, you left the kitchen to walk to your room. but you looked back at jaemin, sighed, and motioned him to follow you up to your room.

your room was still the same. the first door to the right when you walk up the stairs. of course, it had been revamped, but it still eluded the energy he always sensed from you since the two of you met. staring at jaemin scanning your room, you remembered how observant he was.

jaemin always knew when something was up, whether it was you being sad, you being frustrated, or when you were just zoning out. he knew you like the back of his hand, even if you didn’t know it. he was quiet but knowledgeable.

while looking around the room, jaemin noticed the old  photo albums opened and scattered on your bed. he walked to your bed and picked up the butterfly scrapbook. flipping through the pages, he smiled, and even slightly chuckled at the childish pictures and humorous comments that filled each page. when he was done looking through that photo book, he patted the seat next to him for you to sit down. grabbing the next scrapbook— a pokémon themed title page— he opened it up and leaned his head on your shoulder, causing you to freeze up.

it was as if he knew there were lots of pictures of him and hyuck in that specific book. it was your eighth grade memory book and you had known hyuck and jaemin for three years prior to that. the sweet smile was still on his face the entire time he flipped through the pages. he read and detected every picture and every little blurb of writing on each page, knowing whose handwriting was who’s.

“i missed this a lot,” he muttered while caressing the printed out picture of the four of you during your eighth grade graduation ceremony. then he glanced up at you. looking nowhere in particular, you whispered out, “me too. so much.” jaemin then sat up and faced you, wiping the tears escaping your eyes. you then looked at him.

“you know, y/n… jeno still has the friendship bracelet you made him,” he said, looking at the colorful arrangement of beads sitting on the floor. “actually, jeno has a lot of things in his room that remind him of you.” he leaned his head against your shoulder once more, lightly wrapping his arms around you to embrace your figure in a hug. then you leaned your head against his, slightly sniffling away the tears and picking up the last scrapbook you made before you stopped being friends.

flipping through the pages, jaemin recollected all the memories from two to three years ago in high school. about halfway through the book, the pictures soon came to a stop. the rest of the pages were left blank. he lifted his head up and there was a frown present on his face.

“you didn’t finish filling it out?” he questioned, getting up and closing the book.

“i didn’t get to. we stopped talking after new years.” he looked back at the page that was last filled. it was pictures of your families together during christmas eve playing secret santa. flashes of smiling faces and wrapping paper on the floor.

‘december 24, 2015, christmas eve. i hung these pictures up late this year. it’s currently january second and jeno won’t talk to me since new years night. i didn’t have the guts to put these pictures in here but these were the last pictures i had of us all being happy. i don’t think he wants to talk to me anyways…. happy new year and goodbye for now, it’s been fun :( - y/n’

jaemin’s heart broke while holding the crinkled paper in his hands. as strong as he was, mentally, his tears dripped onto the last filled page and looked to you. a single tear falling as he blinked. without a word, jaemin embraced you in a warm and comforting hug. a hug you missed for years.

slowly, you wrapped your arms around your ex-best friend as tears puddled your shoulder as he cried harder and harder. and after the ten minute crying session, jaemin had been rather sniffly and puffy eyed. feeling bad and somewhat guilty, you let jaemin stay over your house to have some takeout with you.

“is that why you didn’t go with your family tonight?” he asked, gulping down his water.

“yeah. i was getting ready and then i just remembered about it. the next thing i knew, i was looking through those pictures and crying... my mom felt bad and didn’t want me to go.” he just nodded in acknowledgment and placed down the cup. it was quiet for a few moments before a text message notification was heard.

“i gotta go. my mom’s wondering where i am.” you walked him to the door and opened it, bidding him a goodbye before he trudged down the street toward his house. just as you shut the door, your mother called you that they were almost home.

packing up the food, and tidying up your room, the jiggling keys caught your attention. it was only about 9:45 and your father walked in, followed by your family, and along came the lee’s. of course.

you scurried up the stairs and kicked the box of memories under your bed just as your father opened the door. you turned to him with your hands folded in front of you and awkwardly smiling.

“pooh! the lee’s are here, come say hi.” you figured your mother hadn’t told your father about the little scene she had witnessed. to be honest, he didn’t know how to react in those kinds of situations so you were kind of glad he was oblivious.

you ushered down the stairs in your easter pajamas and hugged mr and mrs. lee. while hugging them, they said they missed you for dinner and asked what was wrong.

“my stomach hurt a little bit earlier and mom said i could stay home for tonight. i’m glad to see you guys, though!” they cheered and nodded as they looked at their son, motioning— with their eyes— to talk to you.

jeno cleared his throat and greeted you with a small ‘hi’ before jangmi dragged him to her room. everyone remaining sighed and went to the living room while you just walked back up to your room. jangmi’s bedroom was diagonally across from yours and you couldn’t help but to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“jangmi… what would you say if i said that-” you quit listening and shut the door to your room. blowing the baby hairs out of your face,  you looked around your room and was face to face with the guitar sitting in the corner of your room. it was the guitar jeno had bought for your last birthday since you stopped talking. picking up the guitar, you sat back on your bed and grabbed the music sheet from the box, playing the nostalgic tune you and jeno had randomly come up with one day after school.

stepping out of your sisters’ room to go to the bathroom, jeno instantly heard the old song playing in his ears and leaned his head to your closed door. a small smile appeared on his face as he named the notes in his head. his father had come up the stairs and startled jeno, making him move his hand against the elongated doorknob and open your door, causing him to fall back first onto the floor of your bedroom.

you promptly stood up in surprise and your eyes were wide open. was he there the whole time? what was he even doing?

jeno swiftly picked himself off the ground and scratched his head in embarrassment, looking back to his dad who gave him the look. so entering your room and closing the door, you’re met with jeno’s gaze. your heart was pounding and your breathing was heavy, as was his.

tears glossed over your eyes again until he spoke up. “....you still have the music sheet to that?” he refused to look at you.

you gulped and replied, “yeah… i was just, uh, going through some of my old stuff. i found it earlier.” the tension between the two of you was thick and no one wanted to say a word after that.

“uhm.. well, i guess i’ll get going. jangmi’s probably waiting for me.” he was about to leave until he heard your sniffling. he immediately turned around and saw you with your head down and the guitar laying on the floor. he recalled the guitar he bought you for your fifteenth birthday. calmly walking towards your fragile figure, jeno asked what was wrong.

“... you jerk…” you took a deep breath in and looked up at him. “get out of my room… please. jangmi’s waiting…” in that moment, jeno realized that he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay with you. so he did the next best thing, walked out, informed your sister in what was going on, quickly walked back to your room and hugged you as tight as he could. maybe your best friend was back.

he just constantly shushed you and held you like you were a piece of glass getting ready to break. one of his hands held your waist and the other held your head against his chest as he swung the two of you back and forth, slowly. jeno just let you cry in his embrace as small tears fell from his eyes as well. the only sounds that filled the room were the sobs that escaped your mouth.

during the time, jangmi had rushed down the stairs to let your parents know what was happening at that very moment. it was a miracle to know that you two were actually close to each other in the same room. you two were true friends, indeed.

the night ended with you drained out and falling asleep against jeno’s chest. just as he and his parents were going to leave, jeno made sure to tuck you in bed and bid you a small goodnight before shutting the lights and leaving with his parents.

—

the following morning— around nine in the morning— you were awoken by the alarm you had set prior. you can feel the puffy of your eyes and instantly remember the night before. you and jeno hugged. you were crying and jeno comforted you. to some degree, there was a small smile on your face as you stretched to get ready for work.

you worked at some pho restaurant— pho-nomenal— downtown and hyuck promised to drop you off even though you were fully capable of driving to work yourself. but he just insisted and said he was going to eat pho with a friend.

“y/n! hyuckie is here!” screamed your sister from downstairs. you replied just as loud saying you were tying up your hair. you said goodbye to your parents and told them you were off work at four.

getting in the car you screamed out what happened last night. donghyuck pretended to be shocked. jeno had  already told him by the time they left your house. and hyuck told him that you were working in the morning and to have some pho before off to a college interview.

checking in, sooyoung had greeted donghyuck and sat him down at an open table. he then proceeded to ask sooyoung to ask you to serve for his table. did you mention that sooyoung had a teensy crush on said boy?

she was a little upset but you two were best friends so she just nodded and went to the back to say you had company.

“hyuck, what do you want? why didn’t you let sooyoung serve you today?” you whined while placing down two menus and a buzzer on the table. “because i want you to,” he shrugged and looked past your figure to see jeno walk through the doors. looking back to where your friend was looking, you directly saw jeno as well. that sneaky little prick.

growling and flipping him off, you walked back to the front desk and grabbed some more menus to serve the other people that filled the restaurant.

coming back to hyuck and jeno’s table, you were unable to look jeno in the eyes as he ordered first. when he was finished, you glared at hyuck as he hid his laughter behind the menu. going to the back room, you called out the order and clipped it onto the board and walked back out to stand in front of the main desk. the restaurant wasn’t that busy in the morning so you and your coworkers stood at the front ready to greet other customers and get the meals prepared.

when their food was ready, you rang the buzzer and up came lee jeno. you were going to kill lee donghyuck.

sooyoung and a couple other coworkers were unavailable so you were the only one to give jeno their food.

just as he was about to talk, you gave them their meal and mumbled, “enjoy your food.” it was all too abrupt. but he thanked you and walked down back to the table. both he and donghyuck sighed. you were too stubborn.

“no, hyuck. she’s just scared to be friends with me again. i mean, i would be too if she did that to me. we’ve been best friends since diapers…. sorta… but i still know what kind of person she is,” jeno said, slurping down his noodles and looking at your back as you were preparing some drinks for the other customers. the other boy just shook his head and got ready to take another bite.

once they were finished, and their finished food was taken care of, jeno offered to pay for the meal, just so he could talk to you. as desperate as hyuck was to have the two of you interact, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy that jeno was paying just for the sake of your relationship.

“total is $16.83,” you hadn’t even said a complete sentence. sure it made sense but it wasn’t complete; and it broke jeno’s heart that you didn’t want to see him anymore. glancing up, donghyuck gives you a look and you already know what he’s going to text you later. rolling your eyes at him, you give jeno his change back. your hands brushed against each other as you handed back his coins and it made jeno slightly shiver.

the rest of the day was pretty boring. some of the same customers, everyone ordering the same things, the busy back room. as your shift was coming to an end, you got a text from hyuck that jeno and jaemin were coming along to pick you up. just great.

hanging up your apron, you texted your mom that the boys, though you told her only hyuck, was going to pick you up from work and drop you off. you groaned and walked outside after saying your goodbyes to your crew mates.

“hurry up, donghyuck! it’s going to rain, i can hear the thunder,” you nagged while persistently looking around to spot his car. “okay, okay, i’m down the street. hold your horses.”

finally pulling into the parking lot, donghyuck stopped in front of you and you climbed into the back seat next to jaemin. he and you had exchanged phone numbers the previous night and it seemed like he was back to his affectionate self. he greeted you with a hug from the side and showed off his charming smile and pearly whites. you awkwardly hugged him back, not knowing you two were already in this stage of becoming friends again. jeno looked back through the mirror, he was jealous jaemin was working so fast and already making little progress.

“y/n… i forgot to tell you that we’re all staying the night,” hyuck mockingly laughed. “i already told your mom too. jangmi’s excited.” he finished with a teasing wink. oh brother, you mentally rolled your eyes, sighing into the leather seat.

“cheer up y/n! we can catch up..” jaemin’s sentence became less enthusiastic. you just slightly smiled and looked at him, “okay then.” and it was quiet for the rest of the ride.

opening the door, jangmi’s voice is heard from the opposite side yelling at your dad, “dad! y/n, hyuck, jaemin, and jeno are here!” the boys laughed and all took off their shoes before greeting your sister and father.

“pooh! mom’s at the grocery store right now. you’ll have to help her put away the stuff when she comes back,” he informed. you just nodded with a yes and told them to follow you up to your room. then it got you wondering. three boys sleeping over a girls house at the age of eighteen? curse lee donghyuck.

at around 6 p.m. or so, your mother comes through the door and asks for help to bring the groceries in while she’s greeting the three boys.

“hi boys. i’m glad you could stay the night here! and i’m happy you four are friends again.” your eyes shut from embarrassment and told your mom that there was one last gallon of water in the trunk.

after putting the food and whatnot away, you all walked back upstairs and it was silent for a good few moments. “uhm, we have some extra towels and i think i have some toothbrushes in my closet. you guys can just sleep on the inflatable bed, it’s all we have.” jaemin clicked his fingers. “duh, our stuff is in hyuck’s trunk. we packed everything y/n, don’t worry. i mean, besides the bed but you know what i mean.” you chuckled and nodded as they went back outside to get their belongings. however, jeno had asked them to bring up his bag and so it was just the two of you again.

you were playing with your fingers when he said, “...i’m happy you’re letting us in..” you looked up at him and shyly smiled. “it’s the least i could do. we used to be friends so…”

“yeah but i want to change that, y/n. i want us to be best friends again. remember  ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart’?” his heart hurt and he was physically in pain. as much as you wanted to yell at him that this was all his fault, you didn’t have the guts to. because he’s back and he wants to be friends again.

the night ended with all of you huddled on your bed watching some thriller tv show that hyuck chose. though you weren’t paying attention at all. the four of you talked throughout the night and looked back on all the memories from middle school to freshman year.

“yeah, yeah! remember when we dared y/n to sit next to mark lee? that was gold! i still have those pictures on my phone!” exclaimed jeno while scrolling to the top of his photo album on his phone. your eyes were widened and your face flushed red, remembering the embarrassing moment.

“ugh stop. i didn’t even like mark lee like that,” you said, covering your face in the palms of your hand. mark lee was your senior at the time of that incident. you were fifteen and he was sixteen. your friends and mark all had the same lunch; but being the popular boy he was, mark lee was sitting with his other friends. they were recalling that you had a supposed crush on the boy and when they had the chance, forced you to sit next to him. it was all just humiliating sitting next to someone everyone thought you had a crush on. and you knew mark heard about those rumors going around.

“yeah okay, y/n. keep saying that,” hyuck smirked and rolled his eyes. jaemin was just laughing and having a good time listening to the conversations going on.

around midnight jangmi walked through your door and joined in on some of the joking the boys were doing. “get out jangmi! we’re talking about high school stuff, plus mom’s gonna be mad at you tomorrow,” you scolded, making her stick her tongue out and hug the older boys goodnight. brat.

you don’t remember when, but when you woke up the next morning, the only person who was sleeping was jeno. jaemin and hyuck were awoken an hour prior and they wanted to let the two of you rest since you were both notorious for going to sleep late and waking up late.

it was only ten in the morning but you pushed yourself out of bed to wash your face and brush your teeth. when you walked down the stairs, the aroma of food entered your senses and jaemin avidly greeted you.

“good morning y/n! we were about to wake you and jeno up but since you’re awake, go tell jeno food’s ready.” he turned you around to face the stairs. sighing, you walked up the stairs and back into your room.

carefully shaking jeno, you repeat, “wake up, food’s ready.” being the lazy bum he was, turned the other way then threw a pillow to your face.

“stop bothering me, monkey.” you were in a trace. monkey and bubba; that’s what you two called each other. you stared at his back, but somehow he felt more awake and sort of uncomfortable. shifting around, he turned to you and sat up.

“what’s wrong with you all of a sudden?” he questioned, waving a hand in front of your face. he must have just blabbed that out while he was half conscious and wasn’t paying attention.

“.... eat. my mom, jaem, and hyuck made breakfast,” you mumbled and walked out the door and down the stairs. from then on he wondered what had gotten into you. but while he was getting ready he remembered what he had said. monkey, the nickname he gave you when you were both eleven. jeno then wondered what would happen if he continued to call you monkey. would you be all flustered? would you complain and yell at him? or would you call him bubba? he’d hope you’d call him bubba again. he missed your nicknames.

your friends and family all enjoyed breakfast together, and your mother was stoked to have the four of you back before leaving for college. instead of the three musketeers, it was the four musketeers. you, lee jeno, lee donghyuck, and na jaemin.

after breakfast, they left to run their errands or start their schedules for the day.

—

while monday started, you wondered if jaemin and jeno would talk to you. welp, only one way to find out.

driving your way to school, hyuck had texted you where you were.

i’m on my way, just wait omg sent, 7:28 a.m.

parking your car and walking towards the front lobby, the two boys pushed through the row of doors and rushed to you. jaemin, being much more comfortable, hugged you and hyuck joined soon after. jeno was a bit on the slower side, deciding to tone down his excitement.

“ayy look at this cool guy,” jaem turned around and teased jeno as he walked to you with his hands in the pockets of his sweater. the boy just smirked and shook his head.

“morning monkey.” you tensed again, then turned pink since the energetic boys stood confused. “monkey? is that what we’re calling y/n now? because i’m totally up for it!” exclaimed hyuck.

your eyes widened and shouted, “no! you guys are not going to call me monkey. that was just a nickname he used to call me.”

jaemin spoke up, “really? since when? how come we’ve never heard this ‘monkey’ come out of jeno’s lips until right in this moment?” you glared at jeno and responded, “it was just a thing between the two of us. besides, you know i have nicknames for both of you, too.” the two boys just rolled their eyes as jeno smiled and cheered in some sort of victory. you stuck out your tongue and caught up with the salty boys who were a couple feet ahead.

but during the walk to first period, in which mrs. choi wasn’t there again, the trio was greeted by everyone as they looked at you, questioning to themselves why you were hanging out with jeno and jaemin. some even forgot the four of you were a thing, and some just didn’t know.

“woah, y/n hanging with them? nana and jen?!”

“i thought they stopped being friends…?”

“damn. i haven’t seen ‘em together since sophomore year.”

and other variations were heard throughout the halls as you, hyuck, and jeno went to drop off jaemin in mrs. moon’s room before walking to mr. park’s.

right when you three walked through the doors, mr. park playfully sighed and gave you and hyuck a look. then looking at the students whispering and already starting to gossip. oh great.

while loosely paying attention to the teachers lesson, you looked around the room, hyuck doing his work and occasionally looking up, some students— of which were mostly female— looking between you and jeno, and jeno, continuously peering over to you. when you met eye contact, he was quick enough to look away and act as if he was taking notes. was jeno really starting to like you? again?

he would probably never admit it but during eighth and ninth grade years, jeno developed the tiniest, and by tiniest he really had the biggest, crush on you. of course, you never knew, only seeing him as family and one of your bestest and closest friends. but it was all in the past and he kind of figured you never really liked him like that anyway.

you diverted your attention back to the laptop screen and started doing some more research for your language class. but as the seconds ticked by, jeno started to glance at you more and more, especially since he knew you were no longer paying attention to his class.

before you knew it, first class was over and you and hyuck sat at your seats in the same room. jeno just stayed in his seat but tapped the desk to the right of him to signify for you to sit there. sort of uncomfortably, you plopped yourself onto the desk and took out whatever you needed for his class. him and hyuck talked, as usual, but jeno made sure to include you since you were now both on speaking terms.

small smiles and shy laughter. it’s always been who you were, it’s always been one of the reasons why jeno fell for you. the whole school scene was just always too overwhelming for you, much rather being on the quieter side. it probably never seemed like it back in middle school but you were always way too much of a nervous wreck to actually do something bad. you were all bark and no bite.

so when class started, and students started to fill the desks one by one. kyong, a well-known— but basic— popular classmate came walking into the room, planning to sit in her seat, which was next to jeno, whom she subtly liked. but seeing you sit there all of a sudden startled her.

“hi, y/n,” she smiled with flames burning in her eyes. “uh that’s my seat, i’m sorry.”

you looked her in the eyes and apologized, getting ready to pack your things to sit next to hyuck until jeno stopped you from doing so and said, “there’s no assigned seats kyong. just go sit next to…. jihoon,” he pointed across the room. her eyes twitched slightly before smiling again and walking to sit next to the knocked out boy.

throughout the class, jeno and hyuck proceeded with their joking around until mr. park had enough and turned around. giving them the ‘you are a senior in high school’ speech. but to be fair, they were being a biiiit immature.

directly after the bell rang, you went straight to mr. yang’s lab class and sat next to sooyoung, after you said goodbye to jeno and hyuck. immediately explaining your weekend out to her.

“i’m sorry he WHAT?”she whisper-shouted hoping mr. yang wouldn’t hear. unfortunately he did and shushed her before moving onto the next part of the lesson he was teaching. you just made a face and nodded before returning back to your notes, sooyoung still in astonishment.

when ms. jung’s class arrived— which was after mrs. lim’s— you sat right where you had been sitting. but before you walked past him like he wasn’t there, jeno greeted you with a smile. thankfully, you did return it and got yourself situated for that class.

—

once your classes were over, you walked to your car and started the engine before jeno called you on your phone. confused, you picked up.

“hello? why are you calling me?” it sounded a bit rude but you didn’t mean for it to come out like that.

“i just wanted to ask if you left yet. you just speeded out the room and i kinda…. sorta…. need a ride,” he elongated the last part of his sentence. you sighed and replied, “can’t you drive? i know you took your drivers permit. and i know you have a license.”

“my car’s in the shop, getting the tires fixed. hyuck picked me up,” he laughed.

“then didn’t you leave with him?”

“that ass left before i had the chance. please, y/n?” he whined and you could practically hear his pout. roughly, you sighed and breathed out ‘fine.’ it seemed like ever since you were nice to each other again, the little prick had been taking advantage of you. but that wasn’t jeno, right?

just as he shut the passenger seat door, you said that you had to pick up jangmi before dropping him off.

“i’m cool with that. besides, jangmi loves me,” he bragged. you just snorted and rolled your eyes before driving off to her school

when you arrived at her middle school, she peered through the passenger window and straight away, a smile was placed on her lips. she opened the door, “jeno! you’re coming home with us today? where’s aunty?” he just laughed and turned his head to her before answering.

“no. y/n is just dropping me off today, and maybe the rest of this week,” his sentence trailed off as he looked at you, only for you to look back and scowl at him.

“maybe tomorrow. if y/n allows me,” the damn teasing tone in his voice. jangmi looked at you with hopeful eyes through the mirror.

“what? it’s not my house. plus jeno’s probably gonna make me not take him home after school anyways.” you were quite annoyed with the duo. as much as you love them, they were a pain in the ass.

dropping jeno off jangmi asked, “what happened between you two?” you just laughed and responded with a little shake of your head, leaving her confused and complaining that you were a bad sister and a bad friend.

“i am not! you’re just too young,” you teased her again since the age difference between her and you was significant. more so, significant enough.

—

graduation day. thursday, june 14th. the day you would remember forever.

it was the morning of senior graduation. nothing much was going on, just the hectic scene of constant practices and nervousness.

“i cannot believe we’re graduating high school together! first middle school and now this!” clapped jaemin with his cheery smile. all four of you were glad to be together in that moment at that time, together. after the feud, your relationship had been stronger than ever and you were all glad.

your parents had come together the couple previous days in order to plan your surprise graduation party for the four of you. it was to be held at your house, as your mom insisted to your dad, so when you all got home, your friends and families would be there.

prior to you leaving the school auditorium, your parents had treated you to some ice cream money before ushering the four of you to go out and have some celebratory treats so they could prepare the little party.

when you reached your house, it was eerily quiet. their parents had parked a couple streets down to hide the fact that they were all a part of the surprise party. so after you walked through the door, all your friends and family popped out of their hiding places and yelled ‘congratulations!’

every since you and jeno got close again, he started to realize his feelings had been coming back. and this time they came by and hit him like a whole truck. once he knew about the party— because of his loudmouth parents— he knew it then. jeno was going to confess.

but he was scared; as he should be. he was scared to lose the friendship he just gained back, but he was also scared of losing the relationship with jaemin and donghyuck. but it was worth a shot. it was all or nothing. besides, there was a chance your feelings could be reciprocated, right?

so while the sun was setting and the bonfire was getting started, jeno was seated next to you at the swings with no one to bother you. he made sure to tell his plan to hyuck and jaem— and also your beloved family— so they wouldn’t mess it up. but when jeno found the courage to speak up, the bundle of nerves distracted his thought process and he was spitting out stutters.

“hey, bubba. you okay?” your face showed concern which did not help the situation he was in.

“yeah, i’m okay,” he was upset at himself for not having the balls to confess to his first love. will he have enough courage to confess later? only time will figure it out.

looking off to your family, jeno was having a mid-war crisis in his mind. beating himself up for being so quiet all of a sudden. but while the silence followed between you and jeno, you had been having a hell-of-a-ton of questions and statements in your mind as well.

why couldn’t you confess to him already?

man up. it’s just jeno. no matter what happens you two will always stay friends. at least that’s what you hoped.

as the amount of misquotes grew larger, and the purples and pink in the sky turned blue, jaemin and hyuck had gone to the closest supermarket to pick up some s’mores for everyone to enjoy. gathering around the campfire, everyone made their own marshmallow goodness and joked the night away. until the swarming mosquitoes started to bite everyone.

and while the crickets were heard, everyone was in the living room playing your family time games with a twist. but you ended the night with a movie— or two. so as you were busy making the popcorn, your friends and families all crowded jeno and asked if he had confessed yet. awkwardly, jeno declined and admitted that he hadn’t said a word about his feelings to you. your parents had then ushered him to say a little something about his feelings toward you.

mustering up whatever sort of bravery he had, jeno trotted his way to the kitchen where you were preparing the last batch of popcorn for everyone. he leaned his figure to the wall, admiring you for a moment before softly clearing his throat to catch your attention.

just go up to her, dammit. jeno repeated in his head.

“uh— you know, monkey. i uh— we should— i kinda wanna go to the mall and— no we should go to that new seafood restaurant— no no, scratch that…. but can we-” you interrupted his cute rambling before resting your hand on his chest and kissing his cheek.

“i got the message jen,” you laughed. “of course i’d go out with you this weekend.” by the time he walked back to the living room, he was a ball of goo and all eyes were on him; especially your family. just by the look of his face when he came back, they all knew what you had said, and it was affirmative.

—

your first date that next weekend went by perfectly. jeno had ended up taking you to an aquarium and dinner for the evening and it was the best date you’ve ever had. really, it was the only meaningful date but best, nonetheless.

appreciatively, the date you and jeno and went on was not awkward at all. it was just as if you two were just hanging out as friends, but of course, better.

you were just joking along with each other and recalling smaller, more precious memories between the two of you before the conversation got a little more serious.

“i got accepted into yonsei university!” he exclaimed, not knowing you had also applied to the university and got accepted a few days prior.

“congratulations bubba! i got accepted too!” he cheered at you and gripped your hand in affirmation and proudness.

now you knew. maybe you two were truly meant to be.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

a brand new start.

august 29th. first day of the new semester of a new year, a whole mouthful.

the major you had chosen for your path at yonsei was interior architecture. jeno was majoring in computer software and media applications.

luckily, you and jeno had classes about the same times on the same days so you each had time to briefly see each other on campus or meet up while you’re both free. it was a little hard to adapt at first, but you two were champs and still even had time to meet up with hyuck and even sooyoung— who both went to hanyang university— and jaemin— who attended hongik university.

“monkey!” yelled jeno who was about ten feet in front of you. your class had just ended and you were just walking around the entrance of jeno’s building, waiting for him.

“sorry i was late. professor oh kept us back,” he scratched the back of his head. only for you to shake your head and give him a ‘no worries’ smile. it was a thursday and you and jeno had some sports meetings right after class. once again, with the same schedule. it wasn’t a bad thing, not at all. but there were times where you wished you never hung out so much. even so, you loved jeno— in fact, you were the first to pull the ‘i love you’ card a few weeks back.

walking to the campus gymnasium, the both of you get changed into athleisure attire and separated ways, jeno to the field and you just a couple of walks to the gymnasium. you had been playing volleyball to stay fit and to find a hobby while living the college life. jeno, to much surprise, continued to pursue football during his college years, so as to stay fit and to keep his passion of playing football alive.

“i’ll see you later, monkey. we have community service later, yeah?” he asked while greeting some of his teammates. you nodded and waved to your girls before jeno smiled lovingly at you and held your chin in his hand to peck your lips. teasingly, he winked and walked to where the boys went out. shaking your head at him playfully, you walked into the gym to start with some stretches and warmups.

apparently you were the best woman on the volleyball team so the girls immediately nominated you as team captain. discussing about the plans your coach had given you prior, the girls stopped chatting and got straight to practice. chanmi was one of your peers on the team who was seemingly jealous of you; of which you did not know she was, but it was better for her to know rather than for you. you had just thought that she didn’t like you, like, at all.

“ugh i don’t understand why y/n is team captain. it’s not fair,” she complained to her friend one morning. you were on an early coffee run for you and jeno when you heard her familiar ringing voice. following them from a distance, chanmi just continued to talk bad about you which made you sad realizing that she didn’t like you.

“plus she gets lee jeno. i heard he’s the best on the football team,” she whined again, “and he’s the hottest, no doubt.” her friend agreed before gushing over your boyfriend when he appeared behind you, covering your eyes and making you guess who. rolling your eyes you turned around and gave him his drink before walking to class together. the two of you had literature together— with chanmi— and it seemed she hated you even more, especially after you walked in the room with jeno’s hand around your waist, standing impossibly closer to you. but it wasn’t your fault his hand was there anyways.

ever since that day, all you received from her was snarky remarks and burning glares. and she almost never complied to you or your requests which was why the coach was having thoughts about kicking her off the team.

when your volleyball practice was over, you quickly refreshed yourself and gathered your things to walk to the football field to watch jeno finish his practice.

sitting on the bleachers, however, was chanmi— who coincidentally was jaemin’s cousin— and her little friend vigorously cheering for the boys. about five minutes passed before jeno walked to you and downing his water, saying that today’s practice was going to be a little longer than usual so you both might be late to the tutor sessions you planned to help some of the younger kids.

“it’s okay, bub. i’ll just stay here and go over some notes. i have an exam tomorrow,” you explained and looked up at him with squinted eyes. he looked around before looking back at you, catching chanmi’s attention before saying, “okay. don’t overwork that brain of yours,” he laughed as he skittishly poked your head.

“also, do you have an extra water bottle? i need it desperately, coach is working us extra hard today for some reason.” you nodded and fished out your metal water bottle to give to him. “thanks, monkey,” he kissed your temple and returned to the field where everyone was waiting.

enviously, chanmi watched the scene with her eyes and she felt as though she wanted to barf; oh how desperately she wanted to be in your place, though. it seemed as if you and jeno had the perfect relationship. of course there were the doubts but you and jeno managed to pull through and you’re as strong as ever. in which chanmi daydreamed about her perfect relationship, somehow throwing jeno into the mix. “the perfect man,” as she called him.

during the beginning of the year, when chanmi first found out about her fellow peers, some more than most, she was instantly interested in you and jeno. the constant questions of ‘are they friends?’ or ‘are they actually a couple?’ flowed throughout your classmates' mouths and you and jeno had proven to them that you were in a relationship, and very serious about it.

she sat closer to where you were sitting near the front of the bleachers.

“hi, captain!” she said enthusiastically. you were puzzled as to why she was talking to you out of the blue after the constant bashes of attitude. she was, what nineteen, the least she could do was act more mature, right? genuinely, you smiled and greeted her before striking a small conversation.

“chanmi! where’s your friend?” you asked and turned to meet her figure. toxically, she smiled and pointed in the direction of her previous seat. you’d been talking for a few minutes when the blow of a whistle stops her mid-sentence. hearing the shouting of the football coach, her pulse accelerated as she saw jeno coming closer and closer. with hopeful eyes, she hears nothing of your next words as she is solely paying attention to lee jeno.

almost movie-like, her vision slows as she drools over the boy who is running to where you two were seated.

“hey monkey!” he cheerily said before sitting to your right to collect his things to put back in his bag. “.... chanmi..”

she dreamily sighed and waved jeno a hi, but her daze came to a stop when she saw him caress your cheek with his hand and sweetly smiling at you. evidently, chanmi had completely focused her attention on jeno as she had stars in her eyes. subconsciously feeling a stare, jeno looked to where chanmi was and of course, she was already looking at him with star struck eyes. but obviously, her gazing made him feel uncomfortable and uneasy. she looked at him like how you looked at him; pure love and ecstasy. he scoffed to himself and grabbed your hand to pull you away from the girl.

“hey, hey! what was that all about,” you whined as he continued to pull you to the parking lot where his car was parked. throwing his bag in the backseat, jeno’s grip was still just as firm, preventing you from climbing into the passenger side. just as you were about to protest again, he turned around, wrapped his arms around your waist and hid his head in your neck, taking in your natural scent while nuzzling his nose against your collarbone. in disarray, you enveloped your arms around jeno’s neck and played with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

“what’s wrong, bub?” you softly said as he then lifted his head from your neck and gently rubbed his nose against yours. he shook his head and continued to hold you in his embrace. but jeno was a horrible liar, and you knew he wasn’t telling the truth.

you both never ended up going to that tutoring session for the community service opportunity. jeno had been consistently whining on how he wanted to just lay in bed with you and rest for the weekend. and you simply couldn’t refuse his cute ass.

before you could do anything else, jeno pushed through the front door of your apartment and made you lay on the couch for him to rest on you. his body stuck like a koala against yours as his head laid on your chest and his arms were once again enclosed around you.

his behavior was off the roof that day and you were perplexed by his actions. something was off with him.

and you were right; something was off with him. na chanmi was jaemin’s distant cousin— maybe third or fourth— but ever since he met na chanmi, which was almost two years prior, she appeared to be utterly in love with jeno, barely even knowing who he was. providentially, he never really saw chanmi around long enough for him to catch feelings for her, but she was always so damn sure she attracted jeno in some type of way.

chanmi had this sense of weary aura around her presence and it always made jeno feel twitchy when it came to her which was why he acted like that.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was finally senior year of university. fortunately, after everything you and jeno have been through, your relationship was healthy, and there wasn’t much more you could ask for. you even ended up moving in together in the same apartment during your junior year. everything was going to be perfect.

yeah, that’s what you both thought.

—

“where were you, y/n?” jeno asked right when he heard the front door open.

it was a friday night and you were out with sooyoung and a couple other friends to study and hang out at a local diner. you didn’t text jeno where you were but to be fair, you did try calling him three times before giving up and enjoying lost time with your friends for the night. unluckily for you, jeno had flooded you with nonstop phone calls almost ten minutes after you stopped trying to reach out and tell him what you were doing for the night. time really does fly by.

“i’ve been calling you for the past hour and you haven’t responded to me once. where the hell were you?” you knew he tried to remain calm and mature but you’ve known jeno long enough to know that he was enraged; the glint of anger reflected in his eyes and you knew you were in trouble.

the relationship you’ve had the past couple of months were not the greatest. these were one of the occasions that balls of fire were thrown at each other. accusations and yelling one after another only to make up the next morning.

but something just wasn’t sitting right that night with jeno.

“where were you and who were you with?” he stated again, hands rested on his hips. you sighed, trying to calm down the situation.

“i was with sooyoung and mark tonight.”

“then why didn’t you reply to my calls?” he was really starting to get mad.

“i called you thrice but gave up since you didn’t answer,” you said while walking to your shared bedroom to get ready to shower.

“that doesn’t explain why you didn’t pick up!” he bursted out. and to be honest, you don’t think you’ve seen or heard jeno this mad at you before. something in you just clicked.

you scoffed to yourself and rolled your eyes, “you need to chill! i didn’t do anything wrong, i don’t know why you’re making me the bad guy! we were just hanging out.” but it was too late. jeno was furious, for maybe no reason. or maybe he did have a reason.

though you denied liking mark lee back in middle school and the beginning of high school, jeno was the only person you told about your little crush on the boy. mark lee was the sweetest person ever; caring, thoughtful, and cute. who didn’t have a crush on him?

little did you know, jeno always felt jealous whenever you gushed about the boy. and maybe that was what was going through his mind right now.

but nothing happened, sooyoung and mark were close friends and she offered for you to hang out with them, of course you had to accept their request. you missed them.

however jeno just dashed out of the room, throwing his phone to the ground making the loudest noise. you really fucked up. but you didn’t, jeno was in the wrong, so you tried to convince yourself. but you were too nice to admit that it was entirely his fault. because you still loved him dearly, though the months have been going downhill. you just shook your head and showered.

we’ll be okay in the morning. or so you hoped.

when you got out of the shower, you were wrapped in your towel when you saw jeno sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. he was fuming mad at this point and wanted you to leave.

“you need to leave,” he blatantly said without looking your way. the sound of your bare feet padding the floor stopped. you were speechless. this was the first time he’s kicked you out. but you paid half the rent so you said no.

“it’s not a question, y/n. i need you to get out, we need time off.” you were taken aback by his words. what a dickhead.

“uhm, i don’t know if you’re aware of this but i pay half the rent and half of these damn bills, there’s no way i’m getting out of this house. if anything you should leave…. at least stay in the guest bedroom,” you added. when jeno looked up and finally met your soft brown eyes, the only thing you could see in his was pure anger. it made you hiccup a sob.

staring at him for what seemed like forever, you blink away the tears that accumulated in your eyes and packed everything you could.

“lee jeno you will never be a real man. you’re still the pussy i knew you were,” you dryly laughed and slammed the front door as hard as you could. you stuffed all your shit into your car and called your mom.

“we broke up.”

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

by the time you reached your parents house, you called sooyoung and haechan, informing them about the dramatic scene that happened just moments ago.

you didn’t even know how long but when you reached your parents house it was almost one in the morning. thankfully, your mother was still awake, concerned for her crying child.

knocking on the wood door, it opened immediately and your mother embraced you in her welcoming hug that felt like home.

you weren’t able to sleep that night. thinking about your relationship with lee jeno. from when you two were in diapers to when he stopped being friends with you to getting into the relationship to now. it was all a roller coaster that you did not want to go on anymore.

it was funny, your mother tucked you in your bed that night, telling you to just rest and try your hardest to not think of him.

rising against your bed that following morning, you looked like a train wreck. puffy eyes, swollen face, chapped lips. and it’s about at nine in the morning when you get a facetime call. deep inside you wished it was jeno apologising to you but it was just hyuck and jaem.

looking at you, the boys show so much sympathy and sadness through their faces, having almost similar expressions.

“y/n, we’ll pick you up today then, yeah? we can go in jaemin’s car and we’ll pick up sooyoung and mark too, okay?” says donghyuck once he heard a sob escape your lips. you nod, nonetheless, ending the phone call and getting ready to look presentable to the public.

—

luckily for you, the two boys pick up the rest of your things from jeno’s before coming to get you and the rest of their friends.

they help you put your things away in your room and hug you with so much love. in that moment, you were have to have friends like them.

“let’s go get sooyoung and mark. i wanna go to the amusement park.” they obliged to your request and the three of you walked out of your house after bidding your parents goodbye. everyone in your family was concerned about your well-being but you said you were fine and going to heal yourself with your friends.

when mark and sooyoung are in the car, the pair immediately hug you as tight as they could while sooyoung cursed at lee jeno for breaking your heart once more.

“i swear i will kick his ass. i don’t care how strong he is, bitch i will kick his ass all the way to fucking jupiter,” you laughed at sooyoung, she seemed more upset at your breakup than you were. but everyone laughed and agreed that they would all tag team and best jeno’s ass so hard that he can’t even remember your name.

the day was spent better than you had thought, you five stayed on the bay walk until dusk. then you went out to get some korean barbecue and ice cream, all their treats to make you feel better about yourself.

your friends and family really helped you get over your relationship with jeno. however, of course your mothers continued to talk and gossip about your relationship.

“they’re really doing this again? jeno didn’t even tell me yet. i’ll make sure he gets his ass beat by both me and minjung,” his mother says while on speaker, courtesy of your mother cleaning the dishes in the kitchen. she hummed and spotted you hiding behind the wall. you’d been listening to their conversation the second your mother called out mrs. lee’s name.

noticing your mother stare, you whined at her, “mom can you at least be a little more discreet when you’re talking about us?”

“we just wanted to catch up. you know, mrs. lee hasn’t seen jeno since your breakup— didn’t even know you two broke up.” you pursed your lips into a straight line before sitting on a stool. “don’t you think you guys will ever make up again? it’s happened once after constant pushing.”

you scoffed and rolled your eyes, taking a bit out of an apple from the fruit bowl.

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

but just then, you heard jeno’s baritone voice through the speaker of your mothers phone.

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated—” but before you could hear anything else the jackass had to say, you mother hung up.

you sighed out of annoyance and walked to jangmi’s room. she was supposed to start her new job today.

“jangmi, are you ready? i need to work soon too,” you shouted through her door while listening to her rummaging through her room before opening the door.

“yeah i’m ready. let’s go,” she took your hand and dragged you down the stairs. saying bye to your mother she slipped on her shoes and walked out the doors, waiting by the passenger side of your car.

jangmi got a job at some aesthetically pleasing library in town and she was excited to get the job.

you stopped and parked the car before she opened the car door. however you stopped her before she could even set one foot out.

at this point, you and jeno had been broken up for three months. but seeing jeno with chanmi— who is laughing and hitting his arm playfully— your heart breaks more, albeit holding jangmi’s arm a little too tightly. once she looked in the direction of your face, she immediately knew you had a reason.

“y/n, you’re hurting me,” her voice snapped you out of the trance you were in and you apologized and asked her if jeno and chanmi go into the library. it seemed like they were going inside. she shot an ‘okay’ sign and finally got out of the car.

if jeno was being honest, he got over your break up fairly quickly and got back into the dating jazz almost two months after. well, more like he got heavily intoxicated with alcohol and had a one night stand with chanmi. he didn’t know how or why, neither does he know now.

you drove away to an empty parking lot and frantically fish out your phone in your pocket to dial jaemin.

“nana… is chanmi and jeno, like… a thing?” jaemin found out that they were seeing each other— whether romantically or not— about two weeks prior, but he didn’t have the heart to break it to you.

the boy sighed through the phone and admitted that they have been seeing each other for about a month and a half now. but he made sure to quickly say that he just found out and didn’t know how to break the news to you. because as fine as you claimed you were, jaemin knows you more than anything, and he knows you’re still affected.

“it’s okay jaem. we can see other people, it’ll be fine,” you reassured him as you heard the worry in his voice. but even through your voice, he knew you still weren’t okay, so he drove to your house after you ended the call.

you just wanted to sit alone in your bedroom binging horrifically bad tv shows while eating to your heart's content.

but a knock on your door prevented you from doing anything you planned for the rest of spring vacation. because those thoughts filled you through the three months prior.

it was your four bestest friends, and you would trade anything to be with them; even jeno.

they didn’t end up leaving until three in the morning. making sure you were fine and didn’t have a worry about lee jeno. and it helped, for the most part.

—

when returning to campus, you immediately sensed jeno and directed your gaze to something else. however, jeno had a few things up his sleeve and wrapped his large hand around your wrist. you struggled for a moment and threatened to shout out ‘stranger danger’ though it was more immature than you thought it was so you opted to not say anything.

he roughly pushed you against a hidden wall and shoved his face in the junction of your neck and shoulders. tears.

this might’ve been your second or third time watching, experiencing jeno cry actual tears. whether in sadness or frustration. you tried to pry him off of you.

“jen, i have class. what are you doing?” you struggled in his strong grip around your waist. jeno was crying up a storm but was still glad to hear a nickname of his come out of your mouth.

after moments of seeming hours, the man slowly lifted his head from your now wet neck. you stared in his eyes and you never saw the look of pure pain in his eyes. slowly, jeno rubbed his strong nose against yours, leaning your foreheads against each other. he then released his secure grip from your torso and gently cupped your face, his fingers ever-so-softly wiping the tears you didn’t even know escaped your eyes.

that moment was all a blur and neither of you attended your classes that day.

now here you were, sitting across him, across the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen. the apartment still looked the same as when you left, besides the unclean dishes piling in the sink and crooked frames. from that previous scene to now, not a single chirp leaves your mouths. it was dead silent. until he rubs his tired face, jeno is the first to speak up.

“monkey… bubba,” he started, unable to look at you in your eyes, scared to look at your reaction as he planned out his next words carefully. but at this point you figured you knew what he was going to say. because like you said before, jeno is not a man. though he may look and feel like one, he never will be if he keeps up his immature behavior. mentally, lee jeno is not a man, at least not in your eyes. and maybe he never will be, but you’re one to know.

your eyes were emotionless and cold as you looked at his bowed head. the intensity of the room was rising by the minute as he paused on his words.

it seems as though now, jeno is broken. as broken as you were when you broke up. it’s what he deserves. you don’t feel a thing as he continued to shed his tears quietly. but one look and it’s done for.

you don’t know when and you don’t know how, but you ended up on the couch with his puffy face lying on your chest. hesitantly, the pads of your fingers traced his sculpted face as he rests after his crying session.

but why were you doing this? he’s a jackass

hm, he may be a complete asshat but he’s still your best friend over everything. so you push aside all your thoughts and only think about your middle school relationship.

‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.’

you don’t know whether it’s your best friend jeno calling you or your boyfriend jeno calling you, but you hope it was best friend jeno. because it was a way simpler time then and he was always there when you needed him most.

carefully, you lifted your body and looked at the blaring red digital clock sitting on the desk. it was seven in the evening and you had to return home. well, pick up your car from the parking lot and then go home.

feeling you moving, jeno held you closer, squishing his cheek against your décolletage. as much as you did not want to see him, jeno was still as cute as ever. if he wanted to try again, maybe you’d consider.

to hell, you are not going to consider it. you need to go home.

“jen… jen…” you whispered, shaking his body as he maneuvered his head so his nose is tickling your neck. you actually debated on slapping the shit out of him to wake him up. it’s what he deserves. so you do. not too hard but enough to wake him up and hold his left cheek.

“ow!” he whined and rubbed his eyes. what a child.

“jen i need to go home.” only causing him to pout and holding you close to refuse you to leave.

“we’re done, jen. i need to go, i have stuff to do. plus we missed class today.” he whined even more.

“stay with me. we’ll go to class tomorrow,” he mumbled through your neck. but now you were starting to get aggravated.

“lee jeno. this is absurd! you want to constantly make accusations of me cheating with mark, break up with me, and now you want me to stay? all this in four and a half months? you must be out of your goddamn mind. there’s no way in hell i’m going to stay here tonight. we can be friends, yeah, because we’ve known each other our entire lives. but if you think i’m going to get back with you, especially now, you’re fucking crazy,” you breached with tears of frustration in your eyes, “plus i thought you and chanmi were a thing. i saw you two a few weeks ago when i dropped off jangmi at work.”

but the man— or boy— stayed silent. the only noise of the passing cars filling it. tension was high as jeno looked at you with the most lost puppy eyes. but he agreed with you in his mind, he was a little immature. okay, he had to admit that he was very immature, and still is. maybe he just doesn’t know how to work relationships.

no more than three moments later he opened his mouth, only for you to talk again. but in a more calmed voice, “listen, just take me home. i don’t wanna be here right now.” you felt suffocated by the apartment you used to call home. you felt suffocated by the person, you used to call home. but right now you couldn’t make up complete thoughts. it was too overbearing and all you wanted to do was shower and sleep.

without a word, jeno rubbed his eyes and picked up his keys, signaling you to go outside. you released your temper and walked out a minute after he did and got into his car. it was his fault he would not let you go.

he dropped you off with zero words spoken on the twelve minute drive to your parents house. quickly, you muttered a ‘thank you’ and dashed out of his car and to your front door, breathing out whatever breath you were holding.

jeno made sure to leave once he knew you were inside safe. and once you opened the door, questions bombarded you.

‘where were you?’

‘who was that?’

‘why are you home so late?’

but you just shook your head and told your family that you were tired and wanted to shower and rest. leaving you alone was the least they could do.

the hot water was hitting your skin as you stood there, thinking about him. what was going on with him? why is he acting like that all of a sudden? you don’t know. but all you knew was that you needed some time away. to think and to compose yourself.

—

your dad dropped you off at university that morning. the questions that were unanswered that previous night were still left hanging from his mouth. yet you still didn’t answer the questions, you couldn’t.

thanking and saying goodbye to your dad, you got out of his car to walk into yours to mentally prepare yourself for the day. there was still about thirty minutes before your first class and you wanted to use that time to think about possible scenarios that could happen. you just hoped they don’t ever happen.

continuously, you rubbed your face as you fidgeted in your seat and stared out onto campus. taking deep breaths, you finally walked out of the car and made sure to lock it. walking to the literature building, you spotted jeno with a couple of his football friends on the courtyard. and before you met contact, you whipped your head into the direction of the literature building.

jeno sighed to himself and knew he fucked up. big time.

instead of going up to you, he thought to himself that he should leave you alone. he was being bipolar and he didn’t want to overwhelm you and your feelings even more. as much as he was suffering alone, he would stay away from you, but observe you carefully.

you actually had a volleyball game later that day— the last game of the season— and chanmi had asked him if she would watch her. without hesitating, jeno agreed to come but mostly just to see you, but he’d obviously keep that to himself. so once your classes were over, you walked to the gymnasium and into the girls locker room to change. by the time you exited the locker room, people filled the side bleachers and watched the girls (both from your team and the opponents) practice bumping the ball to each other. the opposing team was on the opposite side of the gym to practice while you were on the other. unluckily, your team was practicing on the opening side of the gymnasium and that was when you caught a glimpse of jeno. you looked at him for a brief moment and almost missed a teammates bump when chanmi had run up to greet the guy.

some of his football teammates were actually already sitting on the front of the bleachers and admiring the girls that were hitting the ball with their spandex shorts. jeno hugged chanmi because even when he said they weren’t close, they had gotten closer over the five months after your breakup. but your attention was then reverted to your friends. jaemin, hyuck, mark, and sooyoung had come to cheer on your team for moral support. since jeno wasn’t there to be by your side anymore.

“y/n, you can do this. we know you can! and even if you guys don’t end up making it, this is all for fun and we’ll treat you out for ice cream tonight. all on us. good luck!”

soon the referee blew the whistle indicating the five minute mark. there were five minutes before the final game of the season, and the final game of volleyball you’d ever play for your university. the last game was a home game so you were the first to actually serve the ball. as close as it was, the ball was bumped by a girl of the away team and the game actually started.

time was ticking, and there were only ten minutes left before halftime and the third set of the game. so far, your team was up by eight points. six. four. the bell of halftime filled the gym as the girls on each of the teams walked to their respective sides to have a team talk and rest.

“come on ladies, this is the last game. we’re ahead by four points. we can make it through the last set and win this tournament. it’s the last game of the season, good luck!” encouraged your coach as the rest of the girls discussed who was going to the field first.

“y/n, lia, chanmi, kana, areum, and sohee— you girls are up first. y/n is serving again.”

so far, your team had one the first two sets, and the pressure was up for the last set. you needed to win this. you did not care if this was for a hobby of yours. some of those girls were not so nice while you walked to the gym, giving you the side eye. you just felt like you had to win this game. not for your teammates nor for your friends. not even for jeno. but more for yourself and your pride.

three minutes were on the clock and they were up by two points and you just needed to get at least four points ahead to win the game. you never faltered your serves that set, no one else served besides you and when it was time to switch members, your coach always needed you in. you were bouncing the ball on the floor, getting ready to serve as best as you could. throwing the ball in the air, you swung your arms and for sure, the ball was hit over the net. game start.

the whistle was blown, two points given to your team. the scores were tied now and all you needed to do was gain at least two more points to win. the ball dribbled on the floor in front of you and you then served the ball, hitting it with all the strategies you accumulated throughout the years. the girls immediately missed the ball and the score was down to you again. there were now forty seconds left, as you served the ball again and the girls missed the ball. the pressure was all on them and they couldn’t get over the fact that they were losing.

“we won!” screamed your teammates as you rested yourself on your knees, taking deep breaths. your four friends ran up to you worried and helped you sit down to rest.

“y/n, you were working yourself too much during the last game. why did you not go back? you could’ve watched,” said sooyoung while she was rubbing your back. jaemin was giving you water and rubbing the sides of your arm while mark was massaging your shoulder and hyuck was sitting by your legs.

“take it easy for now. you bid the opposite team good game,” hyuck rubbed your thigh. you sighed and got out of the seat you were in to meet up with your teammates. you all stand in a line and high-fived the opposing team before you got your bag and sat back down with your friends.

“let’s go get ice cream now,” you tiredly said and slumped the strap over your shoulder.

“uhm, before we go… i dropped off chanmi here so she might need to go with us,” jaemin scratched the nape of his neck. you all shook your heads in a ‘no problem’ and he walked up to his cousin to tell her his plans for the rest of the day.

“oh it’s okay jaem. i was going to ride with jeno, is it okay if we came along?” she asked while looking behind her to see his muscular figure talking to a few of his friends. jaemin kept his composure, though, and did the mature thing. he just accepted her request and walked back to his group of friends to tell them about the situation.

when he did, all eyes were on you with worry in your eyes. by this time, you were feeling a lot better than what you were feeling before and laughed at them.

“guys, i’ll be fine. we’re not together anymore, he can do whatever he wants.” though deep inside, you were really going to shit your pants because of the circumstances that happened the day prior. but it was better for them not to know, at least not yet.

in your car seated sooyoung and hyuck. you were on your way to a regular ice cream parlor which a friend worked at.

“renjun!” shouted you, jaemin and hyuck. renjun worked at this ice cream parlor for a while, you got to know him by coming here on the regular, especially during nights when you were stressed over exams or when you and jeno were having problems. therefore the guy was actually a pretty good friend of yours. renjun was a transferee at hyuck and jaemin’s university, they got to know each other then. they developed a pretty good relationship with each other too, you could tell with the way they conversed with each other.

you were laughing and joking around with renjun and your shared friends as you sat on the matching chairs of the countertop. the red reflecting in jeno’s eyes as he watched you joke with your friends and completely ignoring him and chanmi who were seated at a booth not far from where the group was. but he decided to keep quiet and try to pay attention to chanmi, she was just trying to have a good time and he didn’t blame her. but he just couldn’t help but to keep looking back at his old group of friends that all got along so well.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was now the last football game of the season; thursday 6 p.m. jaemin and hyuck had begged you to go after you constantly refusing and excusing that you had ‘fuckton of homework.’ they both came to your house and rang the doorbell anyways, forcing you to get ready and dragging you to the car.

“come on, jeno still talks about you. The both of you are still friends, no?” questioned jaemin. it took you a while to answer him but you guessed that was what you could call yours and jeno’s relationship as of now.

the three of you arrived on the field and sat on the bleachers right above jeno’s team. just fucking great, you rolled your eyes and mentally punched both jaemin and hyuck where they did not want to be punched. with burning eyes, you glared at your friends and wished to get away from that situation. you sat fidgeting on the metal seats and looked down. there were still a few minutes before the big game and you saw chanmi hug jeno before kissing his cheek and wishing him good luck. the boys then looked to you— who was sitting in between them— and asked if you were okay.

“i’m definitely okay. i’m so okay… listen, i don’t know why you guys are so caught up between jneo and i. it’s our relationship and if he moved on then good for him,” the sarcasm was dripping from your voice. but they picked up on the bitter tone that dripped out of your lips.

you focused back on the field. and you don’t know whether it was the chilly wind or your feelings overcoming you, but there were tears in your eyes almost the entire game. not a word was spoken between the three of you. the boys were still friends with jeno so you broke the silence and excused yourself to go to the bathroom. however in the hall, stood jeno with his hands covering his face.

you were his best friend over everything so of course he noticed you were there. he was happy you ended up going after the begs of hyuck and jaemin, after begging his friends to ask you.

“hi, jen,” your soft voice interrupted his lonely session. he smiled at you and greeted you as well.

“so, uhm, how’ve you been? it’s kinda been a while, yeah?” you asked, initiating the conversation. his eyes are lit up, “i’ve been good, you? and yeah it has been a while, i hope you’re doing okay.” the conversation was more civil than you thought it would be, but it wasn’t bad, of course. better than what you imagined your next conversation would be.

“minjung’s been wondering what you’ve been up to. she misses you tons.” you laughed and thought about his beloved older sister. “jangmi misses you too. so does my dad.” the atmosphere was awkwardly quiet for a moment before you heard the whistle from the ref. you then patted his shoulder and wished him good luck before actually going to the bathroom.

your university football team won that night. and you were immensely proud of jeno. he truly was blooming into a man, especially after the conversation the two of you had. he was growing as a person, and you were happy he was. you’ve known him all his life, you knew he was changing, and for the better.

—

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart,” the two of you recited while looking through memory books from who knows how long. you almost lost your best friend because of stupid feelings, but you both learned and grew from them. it was all for the better and you are both glad to still be best friends.

“jeno’s just a friend, mom. it’s simple.”

“y/n’s just a friend mom. it’s simple.”

“we’re best friends. nothing more, nothing less.”

[naughtyneganjdm]

The Savior - Chapter 32

Summary: Negan takes Y/N and Asher to the beach house while trying to determine what to do with Asher. After learning about Asher's past, Negan is determined to help the little boy

Characters: Negan, Reader (OC), Asher, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, some smut, talks of parental abuse

AO3 Link: Tumblr won't let me post the link again so look on my AO3 to find it.

“I thought we were at your house,” Asher’s voice spoke up from the backseat of Negan’s car while they drove to the beach house. Negan looked at Asher in the rearview mirror and could see the young boy bouncing around in the seat he was in, clearly still amused with being in Negan’s muscle car. “Does my mom know where we are going?”

“I sent your mom my cell number and the address,” Negan informed Asher who seemed to already not care anymore about the question he even asked. Looking to Y/N, Negan felt a sense of sadness overcome him. This was supposed to be his time to plan his future with Y/N and now they had this all thrown on them. He didn’t know what she was thinking, but she had been extraordinarily kind to Asher since he had shown up. “I have a few things I have to do for work, so we have to be out here.”

It took a few more minutes until they pulled into the driveway of the beach house and when they did, they heard Asher let out a sound of awe, “Holy shit! That’s your house?”

“Hey…” Negan looked back over his shoulder at Asher who was eyeballing the house from the window. Looking to Y/N he let out a long sigh and whispered, “Should I even be correcting him on the swearing since I do it?”

“I mean…that’s up to you,” she didn’t know how to answer. She wasn’t about to tell Negan how to be a parent. If Asher was really Negan’s son, she had no right in giving her opinion as far as she was concerned. She would help to the best of her ability, but she didn’t want to step on Negan’s toes.

“Asher, I don’t have a problem with you swearing around me, but could you do me a favor?” Negan pulled his seatbelt off, turning around in the front seat to give Asher a serious expression. Asher quickly nodded his head and Negan bit at his bottom lip. “When we are in public or you are at school, could you watch your mouth a little bit? There is a time and a place for you to swear. In front of me, it’s totally okay, but around others…”

“Manners, right,” Asher snapped his fingers and his big hazel eyes looked between Y/N and Negan. “Can we go in?”

“Sure, but just…remember there are some things in there that are expensive, so you have to be careful, okay?” Negan reminded Asher who quickly nodded and pulled his seatbelt off. They got out of the car and Negan noticed Y/N pulling her sweatshirt closer to her body. “Isn’t it a little warm for that?”

“I’m chilled,” she lied knowing that she had been wearing baggy clothes so she could wait for the perfect moment to tell Negan that she was pregnant. It wasn’t like she was showing a ton, but for a while she had been wearing baggier clothes to make sure she was hiding anything that was showing. “I’ll be okay.”

Negan waited for Asher to get ahead of them to run up to the door before he moved up toward it. Negan pushed open the door and watched Asher run from room to room. Tension filled his entire body. Asher was a kid, of course he would be excited to see everything and all at once. It took a while before Negan could get him to calm down and he helped set him up in one of the guest rooms upstairs. Asher was excited to have his own room and Negan watched from the door while Asher jumped on the bed.

“You gotta be careful bud. Don’t go too high, I don’t want you getting hurt,” Negan held his hand in the air watching Asher bouncing over and over again. A groan fell from his lips when he lowered his head into his hand. The soft caress of Y/N’s hand pressed in over his wrist and he lifted his gaze to her. “As soon as my doctor is available, we are going to get that DNA test, I am so sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. We are fine,” she hushed Negan, sliding her palm down the side of Negan’s face in a comforting sweep. Looking to Asher spinning before dropping down on the bed, Y/N cracked a smile and called out to Asher. “You want to go see the beach in the backyard?”

“There is a beach?” Asher quickly shot up from the bed and pushed through the both of them to hurriedly move down the stairs. They followed him toward the back of the house and when they got there Asher was trying to figure out how to open the back door. Negan unhooked it for him and Asher shot out the back door immediately hopping down into the sand. “This is so cool! I can’t believe you have a house on the beach!”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool, huh?” Negan half smiled watching Asher running through the sand. “Don’t get too far into the water, okay?”

“Okay!” Asher ran down closer to the water but stayed near the edge like Negan had asked of him.

Moving to the steps of the deck, Negan dropped down onto one of them. Y/N sat down beside him and Negan looked to her again with his worried hazel eyes, “I am so sorry. You never asked for this when I asked you to marry me.”

“Negan,” she watched him reach for her hand to look over the ring that was on her ring finger. “I’m not going to be upset with you for potentially having a child that you didn’t even know about. More so, I’m mad that Sherry threw him on you last minute. She should have told you immediately if she thought you were the father I don’t understand why she waited until the end of the year to tell you that Asher was yours.”

“That’s why I’m fucking confused,” Negan looked toward Asher and let out a tight groan. Sherry had made multiple attempts to sleep with him, but not once did she make it seem like she had something important to tell him. Having a kid was a pretty big fucking deal, so keeping it from him once she saw him again really bothered him. “I believe I slept with her when I was younger, which makes me fucking hate myself more, but…”

“We do stupid things sometimes,” she assured him with a shrug of her shoulders. It wasn’t something she really wanted to picture. Sherry was someone she had been jealous of for quite some time, but if Negan slept with Sherry and didn’t remember her, that said a lot about Sherry in the long run. She was forgettable and while Y/N shouldn’t have got pleasure from knowing that, she kind of did. It just wasn’t something she really wanted to picture. Although, the conversation she had with Sherry in the locker room felt ridiculously awkward after knowing Sherry had a potential child with Negan.  “As long as it was just a past thing and that’s all it was…”

“Y/N, I’m engaged to you. Junior down here in my pants is not going near anyone else,” Negan promised hearing her laugh out at how he described him manhood. “I’m just saying, there is no one else that will be sleeping with me. I feel almost a repulsion for Sherry now, so the idea that I slept with her when I was younger really bothers me. Just thinking about what I did then bothers me so fucking much.”

“I understand,” Y/N swallowed down hard and knew he was upset with himself for cheating on his late wife like he did. “It’s a hard thing to think about.”

“I just wish I would have grown up faster,” Negan looked to Y/N and pulled her hand up to him so he could deposit a kiss over the back of it. “I should have changed for her like I have for you. I was such trash.”

“You’re not trash,” she corrected, knowing that when he got thinking about Lucille, he would often get upset. “You were lost.”

“Which is another way of kindly saying I was an asshole,” Negan reminded her with a half-smile, allowing her to lower her hand into his lap.  “I swear, I always thought I was careful sleeping with people.”

“It could have been worse I suppose,” she looked toward the water to see Asher picking up seashells by the water.

“God, look at him. She has him in clothes that are way too big for him,” Negan frowned, looking over the boy that had just dropped into his life out of nowhere. “This poor kid. He’s been through so fucking much and if he’s my son we need to change it immediately.”

It really seemed like Negan was bothered by the way Asher had been living his life thus far and she didn’t blame him. Squeezing her fingers tightly around his, she wanted to be as supportive as she could. This was a lot to take in as it was. It was hard to believe that Sherry would just throw Asher on Negan like she did. Who does that?

The way that Negan was staring out Asher drew her attention to him. He was clearly thinking about something as he called out to Asher, “Hey bud? Do you have a glove to play catch or something in your bags?”

“No,” Asher called out, running back up the beach while holding a few shells in his hands. “I’ve never had a glove that was mine.”

“You’ve never had a glove?” Negan confirmed as his face flushed over with red. “How about we go to a few of the stores out here and get you one? The three of us can play catch together later. Maybe I can get you some new clothes. Some that would fit you. Would you like that?”

“I mean…I kind of just get what I get,” Asher looked down at the shirt he was wearing, tugging on the material before looking up at Negan. “The idea sounds really cool though. You don’t have to do that. You don’t even know if you are my real dad.”

“Let’s not worry about that,” Negan shook his head and stood from the deck. His fingers were still hooked with hers while he spoke to Asher. It was like she was his strength through all of this and she knew that he needed her to be there for him.

“What do you have there bud?” Y/N called out from where she was seat and Asher excitedly moved beside her to lay the seashells down on the step beside her. “Wow, those are really pretty.”

“Here,” Asher reached for one that was very colorful after surveying the shells and held it out to her. “This one is for you.”

“For me?” she looked down at the seashell and Asher nodded, a bright smile expanding over his young features. “Are you sure you want to give me this? It sure is pretty and you worked so hard to get it.”

“Of course,” Asher confirmed, moving forward to wrap her fingers around the seashell. “It’s the prettiest one I found and I want you to have it.”

“I will cherish this Asher,” Y/N winked, reaching out to pat over Asher’s shoulder and out of the corner of her eye she could tell that Negan was watching the interaction between the two of them closely. The way Negan was looking at her made it seem like he was in awe of her and that wasn’t purposeful. She just knew what it was like to have a hard childhood so she was doing her best to make Asher feel comfortable and happy. While this was hard for Negan, it also had to be weird for Asher too. Being thrown around as it was had to be hard for him, but to be dropped off with a complete stranger had to be scary. “Thank you so much sweetheart.”

“Is there a place we can put these?” Asher looked over at Negan when he began to pick the seashells back up. “That way I don’t lose them when we go to the store?”

“Sure thing buddy. Let’s wash them off and then we can dry them on the counter while we’re gone,” Negan offered and Asher excitedly followed Negan into the kitchen. Asher was just a little bit short of the sink and Negan had to lift him up so he could wash his hands. “We’ll have to get you a footstool so you can wash your hands.”

“Thank you,” Asher’s voice almost squeaked while he cleaned the seashells off. “I’m a little short, but maybe one day I will be tall like you are.”

It was actually sweet watching Negan help Asher. Negan wasn’t used to kids and that was obvious, but it had to be hard having a seven-year-old just immediately thrown on you. There was no time to learn and grow with Asher, he just showed up.

After they were done with the seashells, Negan did what he promised he would do. He took Asher to town and got him clothes. Negan was very specific about what he wanted to get Asher. It was almost amusing for Y/N to watch Negan picking out the clothes for Asher. It kind of seemed like Negan was excited to be doing it.

Asher was just happy to have something that was his own, so he didn’t complain at all. In fact, when Negan was getting things that kind of resembled the things that he would wear, Asher was super thrilled. Even if Asher wasn’t Negan’s son, it was nice to see Negan doing this for the young boy. He had clearly felt bad for Asher and to see him helping Asher was the sweetest thing.

“You look fucking sharp buddy,” Negan stood behind Asher in the mirror after Asher had put something on to try. “You know what would make this look better?”

“What?” Asher looked up at Negan and Negan pulled the water bottle he had from his back pocket. Negan lowered down and poured some of his water into his hands before reaching out to push his fingers through Asher’s hair. Styling Asher’s hair like he would often do his own, he could hear Asher’s laugh filling the air and Negan’s nose wrinkled. Asher stepped around Negan to look at himself in the mirror and he posed making both Negan and Y/N laugh. “Oh yeah, I look good. Much better now.”

“He sure is full of personality, isn’t he?” Negan looked up at Y/N from where he was knelt on the floor beside Asher who kept winking in the mirror. “This will all be yours, okay? No more clothes that are too big for you. Is there anything else you want to try on?”

“I can pick?” Asher looked to Negan with a surprised expression. “Like, anything?”

“Anything,” Negan agreed and Asher’s hazel eyes surveyed the store when they fell upon a leather jacket. Negan looked over his shoulder and saw what Asher was staring at. “You liked my leather jacket at home, huh?”

“You look really cool in it,” Asher announced, his eyes wide when Negan stood up and moved across the store. Negan pushed through the jackets before finding one that he thought would fit Asher. Coming back, he urged Asher to hold his arms out so he could help put it on him. Once they were done putting it on, he watched Asher step closer to the mirror surveying it. “I could really have this?”

“Do you want it?” Negan breathed and Asher quickly nodded his head. “Then it’s yours.”

Asher said nothing, simply just turned on his heel and ran to Negan. A grunt escaped Negan’s throat when Asher hugged him tightly and Negan looked to Y/N as if he wasn’t sure what to do. Patting Asher on the shoulder, Negan cleared his throat and his eyes met the store clerk. Negan got a lot of clothes for Asher and they had to make a stop at the car to drop things off before going to get a few gloves for the three of them to play catch. They took their time in picking out the perfect glove for Asher who was shocked that he was getting his own glove to keep. The excitement Asher had toward getting a glove was amazing to see and adorable. Asher was close to a stranger for them, but the fact that something as simple as a glove could make him that happy was beautiful to see.

On their way back to the car after finding the right glove for Asher, Negan took notice of the way that Asher stopped at an ice cream shop window to look inside. The way Asher was staring made Negan realize that he likely wanted something, “You want something buddy?”

“Would that be okay?” Asher looked over his shoulder at Negan who shrugged his shoulders. They had been pampering Asher, but hell…the kid deserved it at this point. “I’m sorry, I just haven’t had any in a while.”

“You don’t have to apologize for wanting something kiddo,” Negan insisted with a shrug of his shoulders, “all you have to do is ask and we’ll get it for you.”

“Really?” Asher looked to Negan with big eyes and he didn’t know how to respond.

“Come on bud,” Y/N reached for Asher’s hand, urging him to follow her into the shop. Negan followed them not far behind and the eagerness Asher had to eat almost worried Negan. Like he may have not been being fed like he was supposed to. Negan watched while Y/N and Asher surveyed the glass covering that had all the flavors behind it. It was sweet to watch them interact and Negan was truly surprised at how well Y/N was taking all of this. “We found what we want Negan. What do you want?”

“Surprise me,” Negan winked and saw her nod while she talked with Asher. When they handed Asher the ice cream cone, he could see how happy Asher truly was over it. “Hey Ash. Why don’t you pick out a flavor you’d like to take home in a quart for dessert later?”

“Yeah?” Asher took a big bite of the ice cream he already had and Negan nodded. Quickly he scurried in next to Y/N again to pick something he would like for later. A laugh fell from Negan’s throat when Asher nearly pressed his whole face to the glass to look at each ice cream closely. “Thanks Negan.”

The look Y/N gave Negan was almost amused before she handed Negan over his ice cream cone. When they were done getting their ice creams, they had walked down by the beach so Asher could get a better look at a large boat that was going by.

“You would make a good dad, you know that?” she stammered and Negan looked to her with a small smile. He obviously thought she was just trying to make him feel better. Negan had been nervous the whole time about messing up and she knew that he was trying really hard to make Asher happy. There was no doubt in that, but it made her start to think about the baby that was growing inside of her. The way she felt about it began to feel awkward as she cleared her throat and spoke up again. “You are a father, Negan.”

“Well, we don’t know that yet,” Negan whispered looking back toward Asher again. That was a fail. He thought she was talking about Asher and she felt her cheeks flushing over. It was almost embarrassment that she felt. How was she going to tell him that she was pregnant with his child? “I mean, I want a kid. I’ve always wanted a child, but…this would make me an awful father wouldn’t it if Asher truly was mine?”

“That’s…not what I meant,” she frowned looking down toward the ground knowing that would have been an awful way to tell him that she was pregnant. Asher was fresh in the mind and clearly that’s what they were going to be stuck on for a while. It was best for her not to ruin the moment for Asher since he needed the attention he was getting. “But you’re not a bad father if you didn’t even know he existed Negan.”

“Part of me feels like I am,” Negan looked to Asher again watching Asher bounce as the boat went by. It was almost sweet how easily he got excited and happy by things. “That little boy is clearly not being taken care of. If I would have known, I could have helped…”

“You’re helping now,” she moved to him and noticed that he had some chocolate on his face from eating his ice cream. Reaching up, she wiped it away with her thumb and then tipped up on her toes to hook her arms around Negan’s shoulders. “You are an amazing man.”

“Not nearly as amazing as you are,” Negan hummed, leaning in to meet her lips in a kiss. The taste of chocolate lingered over Negan’s lips and when his tongue brushed in over hers, she heard Asher’s voice interject.

“Get a room,” Asher snorted and Negan pulled away, his eyes looking down at the boy who was making his way back to them. There was mischief in his eyes and it was clear that Asher was proud of himself for saying what he did. “Adults are weird.”

“Yes they are,” Negan smirked, reaching out to pat his hand over Asher’s head. Asher didn’t seem bothered by their intimacy other than cracking the joke he did, but Negan realized he should probably cool it a bit when they were in front of Asher. “You ready to head back home?”

“Home?” Asher repeated Negan’s words and Negan swallowed down hard. It was clear that Asher thought this was all very temporary in life for him so the idea of Negan’s home really didn’t mean his home for him. “You mean go back to your home?”

“Yeah,” Negan nodded feeling bad at how Asher had picked up on that. Negan reached for Y/N’s hand as they walked back to the car. Asher was enamored with the small town and it was cute to see. The way he had such an awe for things was sweet in itself.

It was toward the end of the night and Negan had decided to order pizza, but while they were waiting Asher was eager to try out his new glove outside. They were in the back in the sand playing together. Asher was having a hard time catching the ball and it was frustrating him. It was clear Asher was being extremely hard on himself and Negan held his hand up in the air.

“Hey, it’s okay. We just have to break the glove in a little bit,” Negan moved before Asher, reaching for the glove. He worked with it for a moment or two and Y/N could see from where she was standing that Asher was embarrassed. “When we first get a glove, it’s a little harder to work with you know? It’s stiff and not as easy to catch things.”

“You are such a good player. If I’m your son and I suck, that’s just…” Asher sighed, his eyes meeting Y/N’s, “sucky.”

“Hey, you don’t suck,” Y/N moved forward while Negan helped with Asher’s glove. “I love softball, but I wasn’t good immediately. It took work and with someone like Negan helping you…you learn fast and you get good.”

“Yeah, but you’re good. I remember,” Asher pointed out with a bright smile when he recalled the time he went to one of the games with his mom. “I was at a game you were at.”

“Yes, you were,” Negan muttered remembering the first time he had met Asher was at one of their games. “She was the best on the team.”

“Sometimes Negan says things to make me feel better about myself,” Y/N chuckled and Asher was eager to shake his head.

“No, he’s right. You’re great,” Asher corrected her. “I agree with Negan.”

“See, the kid knows talent when he sees it,” Negan snapped his fingers and pointed at Asher who smiled even bigger. Asher was proud that Negan liked his comment and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, I was trained by Negan so if you let Negan help you…you’ll be great,” Y/N insisted, reaching out to touch Negan’s shoulder. Giving it a squeeze, Negan looked up and gave her a wink before handing the glove back over to Asher when he felt like he loosened it up a bit.  

The pizza delivery guy showed up and Y/N left Negan to play with Asher for a little while longer as she got the pizza. She took her time in setting up the table in the kitchen before going to watch Negan and Asher together for a little while. Standing on the deck, she watched the two of them throw the ball back and forth. For a while, Asher continued to miss until he finally caught one. When he did, Negan threw his hands up in the air and Asher cheered out.

“I did it,” Asher held his hand up in the air, waving the glove to show Y/N from where she was standing on the deck. The way Asher bounced over and over again would have shown his excitement if it weren’t already completely plastered over his face.

“You did it!” Negan repeated with a proud sound. The reaction Negan had to Asher catching the ball was adorable.

Maybe worrying about telling Negan about the baby was silly after all. He was great with Asher, even if he was uncomfortable. Negan was going to be a good father to her child, no matter the outcome. That was one thing their time with Asher was definitely proving to her.

They played for a little bit longer before having dinner. Asher excitedly talked about catching the ball a few times over dinner and after he asked if they could watch a movie together. It was a sweet moment between all of them. Asher requested that he sit between Negan and Y/N during the film which they were obviously okay with.

Toward the middle of the film, she looked to see that Negan and Asher were sharing the ice cream from the quart that Negan had gotten earlier in the day. It seemed like Negan was already pretty damn accepting of the idea that Asher might be his son. It was kind of adorable watching the two of them bond over the small things.

The amount of questions Asher asked during the movie were kind of amusing. It didn’t seem like Asher has a dull moment in his life, but Negan continued to answer his question without getting upset. A few of his questions were quite amusing and it was hard not to laugh at him.

The longer the movie went, the more comfortable Asher seemed to get between the two of them. His head was resting against Negan’s shoulder while he tried to keep himself awake to finish the film with them. Asher was clearly fighting a losing battle because a few minutes later, she had noticed that Asher had fallen asleep on Negan. When Negan noticed he was sleeping, Negan motioned her to turn off the television. There was no sense in finishing the movie without Asher since he had specifically asked to watch it with them.

Carefully, Negan had grabbed Asher and carried him up the stairs to the room he had Asher set up in. Watching Negan with Asher made Y/N’s heart full. She pictured what he would be like with their child and it made her all the more excited for the future that they would share together.

“Do you think he needs anything?” Negan laid Asher down in the bed and carefully adjusted him to pull the blankets in over him. Negan took a look around the room for the bags that Sherry had given him. When they were at the other house, Negan had noticed that Asher slept with a very worn-down teddy bear. Finally finding it, Negan grabbed a hold of it and put it carefully into bed with Asher beside him.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Y/N leaned against the doorframe, watching Negan staring down at Asher while he slept. There was a lot going through Negan’s mind and she could tell that he was in anguish over what he was thinking.

A loud sigh fell from Negan’s lips as he moved across the room to her. Negan’s hands slid in over her hips and he leaned down to press a quick kiss over her lips, “I guess we should go to bed too.”

“Okay sweetheart,” she closed the door behind her when Negan led her out into the hallway after they turned the light off for Asher. Negan didn’t say much once they left Asher’s room. He was quiet, but by the look on his face he was deep in thought. By the look on his face she could tell that he was exhausted. He hadn’t slept that much since Asher showed up and rightfully so, but during the night while they were laying down, he kept tossing and turning. If he was thinking about things, she wished he would have just talked to her about everything instead of keeping it in. “Negan?”

“Sorry, I’m not trying to keep you up,” Negan grumbled, dropping his head heavily back into the pillows. Y/N turned to face him in bed and could see that he was frustrated. With the way he moved and sighed, there was no way she would have fallen asleep even if she tried. With him so upset though, she knew it was best that she was awake to help talk things out with him. “I just…I don’t know what to do.”

“You seem to be doing perfectly fine right now,” she pointed out, reaching out to caress over the center of Negan’s hairy chest. Playing with the curls of hair, she heard him let out a long exhale and she leaned in to kiss over his jawline. “I think you are stepping up amazingly for that little boy”

“Then should I really get this DNA test done? What if he isn’t my little boy?” Negan swallowed down hard, “He deserves to be treated good. Maybe I shouldn’t get the DNA test. This way it guarantees that I get to be in this little boy’s life.”

“That’s completely up to you,” Y/N stated with a small shrug. “I support anything you do.”

“Would I be a monster if I got the DNA test done just to make sure I was the father, so I could get full custody of him if he is mine?” Negan was quiet in the way he asked the question and Y/N’s eyes got a bit wide. “I know that would cause a ton of shit and I guess I should be asking your permission right now if I’m thinking of going through with that.”

“Is that what you want to do?” Y/N saw the frustration fill Negan’s face. That was a lot to take on, but she could see that Negan was sure that was something he wanted to do by the way he looked at her. There was no way that he had to ask her for permission for something like that. If Asher was his son, he had every right to do whatever he wanted. He didn’t have to ask her to do that. “You’re good with that boy.”

“And Sherry isn’t,” Negan pointed out with a frown, “If that boy is mine, he should be with someone who will love him and take care of him, but you never asked for that. This was thrown on you just as much as it was thrown on me. Asking you to be a step-mom to my son full time might be a lot to ask of you.”

“As long as I’m with you, that’s all that matters,” she insisted, meeting him in a kiss and Negan let out a relieved sound. “I will back any decision that you make. She just dropped this boy off not knowing a thing about what you were like. That in itself shows she’s not a good parent.”

“Right? Who does that?” Negan grunted, very frustrated with Sherry and what she had done with Asher. “If that boy is my son, I don’t want him getting thrown from place to place like he has had to live. I want him to be with me. I want to know that he is safe and not worry about what boyfriend of Sherry’s he is staying with next.”

“And I support that,” she nodded, reaching out to caress over the side of Negan’s rough features. “If he’s your son, I think you have every right.”

“It’s so hard knowing what I should do,” Negan scoffed, feeling her crawling in closer to him. The warmth of her resting against his chest made him sigh and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull her close. “I’m so glad I have you here with me.”

“Watching you today with that boy made me realize how much I really love you. You’re going to make an amazing father,” she informed him, her hand caressing over his lower abdomen and Negan sucked in a sharp breath. “You remind me over and over again how lucky I am to be with you by being the amazing man that you are.”

“Hey…” Negan lifted his head when he felt her hand slipping beneath the material of his boxer briefs under the blankets. A nervous sound fell from Negan’s throat as she grabbed a hold of his body. “With Asher here…”

“Just be quiet,” she urged, leaning in to press soft kisses over the side of his neck. Pumping her hand over his flesh in drawn out caresses, she could feel him hardening in her grasp and Negan’s head dropped back. His eyes closed tightly and the muscles in his neck were tense. “Today made me realize that you would be a great father for any child…our child.”

“Yeah?” Negan licked his lips, his eyebrows tensing together while her grip got tighter around him. “I don’t know about that.”

“No, you’d be perfect,” she lowered her head to deposit soft kisses over Negan’s chest and she felt him completely solid within her grasp after a few more strokes. “What do you think of the two of us having a baby?”

“I think…I think it’d be a great idea,” Negan muttered, his soft moans filling the air while her jerking motions continued over his body. It was the first time he had gotten to relax and not worry while her hand caressed over his body. Inhaling sharply, Negan lifted his head to watch the movements her hand was making beneath the blanket and he bit firmly into his bottom lip. “Is that really something you want to take on with potentially having a seven-year-old around the house?”

“Oh, I think Asher would make a good big brother,” Y/N answered, being quiet in the way she moved. Negan swallowed down hard when he saw her reaching beneath the blankets to push her pajama pants down her body. Negan bit down on his bottom lip and watched her carefully move in over him. Licking at his lips, Negan took his time to watch her as she braced herself over him. Negan lifted his hips and helped push the material of his boxer briefs down far enough down to release his hardened body into her grasp. “You can be quiet, right?”

“Yeah,” Negan’s lips were parted as she led the tip of his body into hers and his eyebrows furrowed. He bit harder at his bottom lip when he felt her body enveloping his and his thigh muscles flexed at how incredible it felt. Grasping tightly to her hips, Negan arched his hips up to help her bottom out over him and he saw her eyes close tightly. “The idea of us having a baby turned you on?”

“The idea of you being a good father did,” she reached back, placing her hands over Negan’s hairy thighs to brace herself while she rocked herself over his length. They were careful in their movements, making sure not to be too loud. Their movements were drawing both of them to let out muted sounds that they tried to cover up with their hands or by kissing. Negan’s deep-rooted groans pressed in over her lips while she focused on kissing him to keep him quiet. “The idea that I get to be yours officially makes me so happy.”

“Even after everything that has happened?” Negan lifted his head to watch her body’s movements over his. Licking over his lips, Negan watched her working herself over his length. The way in which she knew to do things now was amazing. She went from being the shy innocent girl to knowing exactly what to do to drive him crazy. “You still want to be with me?”

“Even more,” she maintained, fighting to contain a whimper that wanted to fall from her throat. Gripping tighter to his thighs, she rocked her hips over his and felt Negan’s hips bucking up to meet her movements. “You are the most amazing man…”

“Fuck,” Negan scoffed, his head dropping back when she pressed her right hand forward to brace it on his lower abdomen while the other still was firmly grasping to his thigh. The pace she set was fast, taking him inside of her again and again making Negan grasp tightly to her hips. His right hand lowered between her thighs, his thumb caressing over her clitoris while she took advantage of his body. Each rock forward her hips did over him aided in the caress his thumb had over her sensitive bundle of nerves and she did her best to stay quiet. “I’m going to cum.”

“Yeah?” she felt the muscles in his body flexing beneath her touch and she eagerly rocked harder over him. Her eyes slammed shut when she felt his caress getting harder over her body, trying to get her to a release as well. A whine fell from her throat, but Negan’s free hand reached up to cover her mouth to keep her silent. Negan sat up to press his lips in over hers to keep them both quiet when she reached her orgasm. Her body shook against his, but she tried to keep up with rocking over him until he pulled his lips from hers. His nose nuzzled against the side of her neck and he bit at her flesh trying to keep himself quiet during his release. Caressing her hand over the back of his neck, Y/N played with Negan’s wet hair and tugged on it after he was done. “I have something I need to tell you.”

“Yeah?” Negan rested his head against her clothed chest, cherishing the warmth of her over him. “What’s that?”

The sound of the doorknob being turned was heard and they both quickly moved as Negan called out, “Asher wait! Don’t come in here.”

Negan quickly pulled his boxer briefs back up his body while Y/N reached for her pajama pants. The rate at which they pulled their clothes back on was incredibly fast as Negan let out a frustrated sound and pulled himself up into a seated position on bed with his back against the headboard.

“Okay,” Negan called out when he made sure that Y/N was good and Asher pushed open the door slowly. The look that Asher was giving them was odd as Negan flicked on the light that was beside the bed. “What’s up bud?”

“Were you guys trying to have sex?” Asher blurted out and Negan choked. Negan looked to Y/N and she was surprised herself to hear what came out of his mouth.

“Don’t say that. Don’t…” Negan shook his head and let out a tense breath. “What…how do you even know what that is?”

“I don’t know. I’ve heard a lot of the guys my mom has brought home talking about sex. Mom lets me watch television and goes away with her boyfriends to another room,” Asher recalled in a smaller voice when it was clear that Negan was upset with what he said. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to upset you.”

“You’re seven, you shouldn’t…you shouldn’t even know what that is,” Negan pulled the blankets back and saw the way that Asher looked up at him. The more he learned about Sherry and all the things she had done to Asher; the more Negan was certain that he needed to get this boy away from Sherry. “Does your mother do anything right?”

“I…don’t know,” Asher let out a nervous sound and he cleared his throat. “Should I leave?”

“What’s wrong honey?” Y/N sat up further in bed and reached out to squeeze over Negan’s bare shoulder.

“I know…I know I’m a boy and I shouldn’t be afraid, but do you have a nightlight?” Asher kept his head lowered while he looked down at the ground.

“A nightlight?” Negan repeated and Asher’s face flushed over with a blush. Feeling bad that he got so upset with Asher over what he said, Negan pulled himself to the edge of the bed and nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure I do. Just give me a second.”

Negan searched for a light for Asher while Y/N took Asher back to the bedroom they had set up for him. Asher crawled back into the bed and he was silent before looking to Y/N with a saddened expression, “I didn’t mean to upset him. I made him mad.”

“He’s not mad at you sweetheart,” Y/N tried to insist, knowing that Negan was just upset over the fact Asher was so young and should have never known about sex. “I promise you he’s not.”

“I know I should have knocked first; I didn’t mean to…” Asher reached up to rub at his eyes. Y/N was thankful he showed up when he did and not earlier because if he would have showed up earlier it would have been a lot worse. “I’m just afraid of the dark and with the sounds of the water, I just…”

“Sweetheart, it’s okay,” she hushed him from where she was sitting at the bottom of his bed.

“Dwight, the guy that my mom thought was my dad for a while told me that nightlights were for babies,” Asher explained with a frown, recalling what he was told by one of his mom’s boyfriends. “He told me that I wasn’t a man if I needed a light.”

“Well that guy is an asshole,” Negan’s deep voice filled the air when he moved into the room. Negan found a plug and put in the light for Asher. It was bright enough to make sure that room could be seen from his bed. “We’re all afraid of something and I hate to tell you this Asher, but you are a little boy. You aren’t a man.”

“I know, but he said…” Asher whimpered thinking back to what Dwight had told him in the past. “He just told me I would be embarrassing to him if people found out.”

“Well ignore him because he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Negan insisted with a grunt, hating to hear the way people talked to this little boy. “You are still young. You are a boy; you are meant to be a child. You shouldn’t know the things you know and you shouldn’t be talked to the way you are.”

“I know what I said upset you,” Asher repeated his previous worries, his saddened hazel eyes looking up at Negan, “I swear I didn’t mean to upset you Negan.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Negan noticed how desperate Asher was to apologize to him. “I just…you’re a little boy. There are things you shouldn’t know. You’re too young to understand what you are even talking about.”

“You’re not going to punish me, are you?” Asher clutched to his blanket and Negan moved across the room to sit at the side of the bed. Negan reached out to caress at the back of Asher’s head in a soothing manner trying to comfort the boy from his fears.

“Buddy, I’m never going to punish you,” Negan looked back at Y/N with a frown knowing that this boy was clearly abused in the past. That in itself made him realize that he had to get the DNA test done and he was going to fight for full custody of Asher if Asher was in fact his. “Hey, listen…in a few days I’m going to take you to my doctor, okay? And we’re going to get a few tests done and then you will never have to worry about getting punished again, okay? I promise you.”

“Really?” Asher’s worried glance looked between Negan and Y/N. “Never again?”

“Never again,” Negan answered with a firm nod. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, do you understand me?”

“You can’t promise that,” Asher frowned looking down at the blanket and Negan felt his heart breaking for the little boy before him. “I’ve heard that before. Mom had some nice boyfriends in the past, but they never stick around.”

“You’re not going to be hurt while you’re here Asher,” Negan promised looking back at Y/N with tears in his eyes when all of what Asher was saying to him was affecting him emotionally. Y/N was crushed as well hearing the things that the little boy was saying. “Does your mom hurt you Asher?”

“She yells at me a lot, but she never hurts me,” Asher answered with a shake of his head. “It’s always the boyfriends. I get pushed and shoved a lot. Sometimes they grab my wrists and drag me.”

“Jesus,” Negan bit at his bottom lip getting angry at the sound of that alone. “And your mother just lets it happen?”

“She would get hurt if she didn’t,” Asher insisted and Negan found himself wanting more and more to keep this boy completely to himself. The fact that Negan was abused when he was younger connected him to this boy even further. It broke his heart at the idea that Asher could be going through the same kind of abuse that he had a child with his own father. It made Negan feel like a failure that his own son may have been going through abuse over the last seven years and there was nothing Negan could do about it. “I promise I won’t talk about that stuff again.”

“You’re just seven buddy, you need to talk about the things that normal seven-year-old boys would talk about,” Negan pointed out with a shake of his head. “We’re going to work on that together though. Okay?”

“Okay,” Asher laid back in his bed and let out a shuddering breath. “Thank you for finding the light Negan.”

“No problem,” Negan brushed his fingers through Asher’s hair before getting up from the bed. They both said goodnight to Asher before walking into the hallway. When Negan closed the door to Asher’s room, he looked to Y/N and she knew that Negan was about to break. She reached for Negan and took him into her arms to hold him tightly. “We have to take care of him.”

“I agree,” she breathed, pressing a kiss against Negan’s temple when he leaned down to cuddle in closer to her.

“I want to give him a good life. One for a kid,” Negan informed her, thinking of the things he could do while Sherry was away on her vacation. “But we need to get that test done as soon as possible.”

Negan led her back to the bedroom and slumped down to take a seat on the edge of the bed. Sitting down beside him, she reached for his hand and could see that all of this made Negan an emotional mess.

“My whole life I was abused,” Negan reminded her, looking over at her with a sad expression. “I always told myself that if I was a father, I would be the opposite of my own dad. Yet I have a boy in there that may be my son who had to go through abuse.”

“That’s not your fault Negan,” she tried to insist, sliding in beside him to caress over the side of his face. “If you would have known that you had a child, you would have never let that happen. You and I both know that.”

“Yeah, but this is just as much my fault if I wasn’t careful that night with Sherry,” Negan announced with a whimper in his voice. “If I slept with her and I didn’t both to be careful, I didn’t care if I brought that child into the world. By being careless, I brought that child into a world where he would never be safe. Do you know I used to say the same thing about my mother when people would find out I was abused and they asked if my mother let it happen? I would just tell them that she would get hurt if she stood up for me so it was okay. I have to get him away from her.”

“Then we will,” she slid her hand in over the side of Negan’s face knowing that he would be extremely emotional over something like this considering what they both had been through with their parent’s abusing them. “I will back you until the end Negan. We will do whatever we have to.”

Wrapping her arms around Negan, she pulled him in close and knew that she meant what she said. It was something that was important to Negan, so it was important to her. She would do whatever she had to in order to help Asher and Negan.  

A few days had passed and Negan had done the best he could do in making every single day with Asher perfect for him. Each day was surrounded around giving Asher a fun experience. Other than when Negan had to go to work to fill out some paperwork, they were doing things to make Asher happy.

This morning both Negan and Asher were together in the kitchen cooking breakfast together. It was cute because they had gotten Asher a footstool to stand on and he was helping Negan crack eggs into a bowl.

“Shit,” Asher blurt out when he got a shell in the bowl and Negan cracked a smile before a snort filled the air. It was kind of amusing hearing the swear words that came from Asher’s mouth. Asher may have not looked like Negan, but he did kind of have Negan’s mouth on him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s an easy fix,” Negan managed to get the shell out before tossing it in the sink. “See, no problem.”

“I’ll be right back,” Asher dropped down from the footstool and moved out of the kitchen. When Negan heard Asher move up the stairs he looked to Y/N with a frown.

“Do you know that Sherry hasn’t called or texted once to check on Asher?” Negan blurt out with an uneven breath. “What kind of mother would do something like that? He’s seven years old.”

“She’s worse than I could have pictured Negan,” Y/N admitted knowing that Sherry was odd, but she never thought Sherry would be the type to abandon her son. “Do you think he’s bothered by it?”

“He’s mentioned her name a few times,” Negan answered knowing that Asher had talked about Sherry and wondered how she was. It didn’t seem like he was ridiculously upset about not having contact with her, but it was still not something that made him happy. “Do you think this is the first time she left him to himself alone?”

“I don’t know Negan, but the best thing is that he’s getting to spend his time with you,” she pointed out knowing that Negan seemed to be having a good time bonding with this boy.  “We don’t know how Sherry is with him.”

“I’m used to her not being around,” Asher’s voice made them both jump as Asher clearly had come back downstairs without the two of them hearing him. Asher had something in his hands and Negan cleared his throat uneasily. “I kind of just take care of myself. She’s home sometimes, but...she has to deal with a lot of pressure.”

“You shouldn’t have heard that,” Negan frowned and Asher shrugged before moving across the kitchen to give Negan what he went upstairs to get. Negan reached for the paper to see that it was a drawing Asher had done with the supplies Negan had bought him the other day. “What is this?”

“It’s the three of us. Here at the house and by the water,” Asher reached for the footstool to drag it across the kitchen so he could help make the eggs again. “It’s not great, I’m not very good, but I thought you might want that. You don’t have to though.”

“No, I like it,” Negan lifted the drawing up for Y/N to see so she could take a look at the drawing Asher did. It made her smile and Negan moved over toward the refrigerator to put the drawing up under a magnet. Asher looked at him with such adoration when Negan pointed toward the fridge. “That deserves a prime location, don’t you think?”

“I think that’s a perfect place for it,” Y/N agreed with Negan, coming to squeeze supportively at Asher’s shoulders. “You’re a talented little man, don’t you ever think otherwise.”

“That’s the first time someone put my art up,” Asher muttered with a frown, but he smiled when he looked at the fridge again. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” Negan moved in beside Asher to help him finish breakfast. “I’d say I’m pretty damn lucky to have you here helping me out.”

“Thank you,” Asher pushed at the scrambled eggs while Negan worked beside him. “I know you didn’t want me here at first…”

“I was just surprised, that’s all. It wasn’t about not wanting you,” Negan reached with his free hand to rub his fingers through Asher’s hair. He messed the little boy’s hair up a bit before giving him a wink. “I’ve had fun.”

“This is the most fun I’ve ever had,” Asher admitted with a grin looking between Negan and Y/N. “You guys are so nice to me.”

“And you are so nice to me,” Negan playfully nudged Asher with his hip causing Asher to fall back into Y/N’s arm who was standing behind him. “Ooops.”

“You got a big butt,” Asher giggled after Negan had knocked him off the footstool. It was lucky that Y/N was behind him to catch him, but Asher seemed completely amused.

“He’s just powerful, Negan has no butt,” Y/N muttered in a teasing tone and Negan gave her a look that made Asher begin to crack up.

“Always getting teased about my lack of a butt,” Negan rolled his eyes and Y/N helped Asher back up onto the footstool they had gotten him.

“Thank you,” Asher was tall enough to hug Y/N and it made Negan smile. It seemed like Y/N had really done a good job in connecting with Asher. It surprised Negan how easily she accepted Asher into their home and was nice to him. “You saved me from buttless.”

“Hey now,” Negan dramatically feigned being offended and Asher snickered. Negan watched Y/N helping Asher finish with things before he spoke again. “Do you like it here Asher?”

“Yeah,” Asher simply answered, reaching up to rub at the side of his face. “Usually I’m alone or mom’s boyfriends take care of me. I eat cereal a lot alone, so I like our meals together.”

“Would you want to stay with Y/N and me? Even if we moved to another house?” Negan muttered and Asher lifted his head. “I was thinking that maybe after we took this test today and we got the results, you might want to stay with me.”

“Really?” Asher stammered; his young voice clearly not sure what to say. “I like it here with you two.”

“So, you wouldn’t be upset if I tried having you with me full time?” Negan confirmed and Asher nodded. “What about your mom?”

“I’ll always love my mom, but…I’m lonely with her,” Asher admitted as he felt Y/N caress over the center of his shoulders. “Here, I’m happy. You make me feel special.”

“That’s because you are special sweetheart,” Y/N assured Asher with a calming tone. “You’re an amazing little boy.”

“This test will see if you’re my dad?” Asher lifted his head to look up at Negan with his big eyes. Negan nodded and Asher spoke again, “Like really really soon?”

“A few days,” Negan answered with a shrug.

“I hope you’re my dad,” Asher swallowed hard and reached for the bowl that him and Y/N had made of the scrambled eggs. Carefully he hopped down from footstool and set the bowl down on the table. “You’re so nice to me.”

“You’d be okay with me if I was your dad?” Negan lowered down to his knee to be level with Asher. “You wouldn’t be upset?”

“You’re already the most amazing dad,” Asher hopped forward to wrap his arms around Negan’s neck to squeeze tightly around him in a hug. “No one has ever been this nice to me.”

“Oh, buddy,” Negan lifted Asher up and held him in his arms. Y/N could see that Negan was getting emotional about everything that Asher was saying to him. At this point, she knew that Negan didn’t care if he was the father or not. He just wanted to take the test to make sure he was his father so he could have sole custody of Asher. “I’m gonna do my best to make sure you don’t have to go back to that, okay?”

“Really?” Asher pulled back enough to look at Negan and Negan nodded. “Thank you.”

“No problem bud,” Negan felt Asher resting his head on his shoulder and Negan slid his hand up to pat Asher between the shoulders. Lifting his head, Negan could see that Y/N was standing in the corner of the kitchen watching them together. There was a grin over her face and Negan felt blessed that she was so okay with this.

They went through breakfast and enjoyed their time together before heading to the doctor’s office to get the DNA test done. Asher was sitting on the evaluation table as Negan’s doctor prepared things.

“This won’t hurt, will it?” Asher pondered, looking over at Negan who was leaning against the wall in the corner of the room.

“They are just going to swab your cheek sweetheart,” Y/N stepped forward to brush her fingers through Asher’s hair. Asher was pale and he was clearly nervous in the way he was rocking on the table. “It’s painless.”

“Negan is doing it too?” Asher confirmed and Negan nodded, his hazel eyes hooked on Asher.

Truthfully, Negan was nervous doing this. Not for the same reason that Asher was afraid, but he didn’t know if he truly wanted to know if he was this boy’s father. Asher had such a horrible life from what it seemed and he wanted to give the little boy something special. By not getting the test done, he could just keep on getting Asher from Sherry, but deep down he knew that if he let Sherry take Asher back, she could continue to do what she had been doing to him. This way, if he knew for certain that Asher was his son, he could keep Asher and keep hm safe. This was the only reason he was getting the test done. To make sure that he could keep Asher with them.

“Will you hold my hand?” Asher requested of Y/N when Negan’s doctor came to do the test. Y/N of course agreed and held onto the little boy’s hand and it took no time at all for Asher to get the test done. “Wait…that was it?”

“That was it,” Y/N smiled brightly and Asher perked up immediately. “No big deal, right?”

“Not at all,” Asher looked to Negan who moved across the small room to help Asher down from the table. Asher ran over to the chair in the corner and sat down while Negan’s doctor wrote something down. “I was sure that would hurt. You’ve got nothing to worry about Negan.”

“Funny how things work out, huh?” Negan’s doctor stammered as he stepped before Negan. “First you find out you’re going to be having a baby and now you have this little boy thrown on you?”

“What?” Negan tilted his head to the side when his doctor grabbed a hold of his face. Negan opened his mouth for the doctor to swab his cheek, but then spoke up. “I think you have me confused with someone else. I’m not having a baby.”

“That’s funny,” Negan’s doctor went to finish things up and Negan snickered.

“Doc, are you getting too old on me here?” Negan breathed out and Y/N could feel her heart hammering inside of her chest. This was the doctor that she had found out she was pregnant from and he just blurt out what she had been wanting to tell Negan for so long but hadn’t. “I think you’re thinking of someone else.”

“No, the young lady came to see me when you were in the hospital,” his doctor explained and Negan looked to Y/N. Her cheeks flushed over with red and Negan cracked a smile, his eyebrow arching up when he looked to Y/N. Clearly, he still thought the doctor didn’t know what he was talking about. “I guess this is congratulations since we haven’t seen each other.”

“Negan…” she called out his name when Negan went to say something more and Y/N nodded. “He’s right. I was trying to find the right way to tell you about things, but so much kept happening. I’ve been wearing baggier clothes to try and hide it from you.”

“Is this a joke?” Negan smirked, watching Y/N reach for the hoodie she was wearing to pull it off. Negan had been so distracted lately that she knew he wouldn’t be able to tell. It wasn’t all that obvious yet, but she knew that she had gotten a little bit of stomach. “You’re pregnant?”

“I’m pregnant,” she nodded and Negan let out a hesitant laugh.

“Oh goodness,” Negan’s doctor looked between the two of them and he gave Y/N an empathetic look. “I’m sorry dear, I just assumed that…”

“We should probably talk,” Y/N stepped forward and watched Negan slowly get up from the evaluation table. His face was pale and Negan nodded. “I’m sorry, I just…”

Negan’s legs gave out and Y/N reached out to grab a hold of him. Negan’s hazel eyes looked her over and he looked extremely pale, “Hey?”

“I’m okay,” Negan waved his hand in the air and Y/N did her best to keep him up. When Negan convinced her that he was okay, she released him and went to talk to Asher so she could have a free moment to talk to Negan. The sound of something falling over was heard and Y/N looked over her shoulder to see Negan grasping onto the table. “Shit.”

“Negan!” Asher squeaked when Negan hit the ground hard and Y/N got up while they both scrambled to Negan. “I thought you guys said that test didn’t hurt.”

“I think he just had a syncope episode,” Negan’s doctor urged them to move aside so he could look at the unconscious Negan. After checking Negan’s vitals, he let out a calm voice and looked to them with a reassuring glance. “This may take a few minutes for him to wake up, but he’s fine.”

“He doesn’t look fine,” Asher slid in beside Negan when the doctor got up and went to get help to get Negan up. Asher tapped at the side of Negan’s face and Y/N felt awful about the way Negan had just found out she was pregnant. “Is he alive?”

“He’s alive,” Y/N assured with a half laugh when Asher poked at Negan’s cheek. “Just shocked. I think that’s it. I hope that’s it.”  

----

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[iicytodoroki]

Childhood Friends to Lovers - Kageyama Tobio x Fem! Reader NSFW

Warnings: explicit language, fluff to smut (explicit), drinking (legal ages), unprotected (pls use it though!) please don’t read if you’re uncomfortable or too young, this stuff is dirty

WC: 3.1k

A/N: ah ha haa, what if i make a cute fluffy and domestic pt 2, a full 180 from this unholy piece

7 years ago

Dear Diary, 

I met this funny boy in my class, he was really quiet and always looked angry. Since we were sitting next to each other in the back corner of class, we were assigned as partners for the rest of the year. During our first lunch meeting for our project, I caught him trying to shake the vending machine screaming, “Argh! Stupid machine ate my money and won’t,” *kicks machine* “give me my damn milk.” Luckily, I knew where the other vending machine was, which was kind of hidden behind the gym of our junior high. So when we met up at the benches facing the empty tennis courts, I was able to see such a cute blush on his face when I gave him strawberry milk. Turns out his name is Kageyama Tobio and he loves volleyball.

5 years ago

Dear Diary, 

I was so sad today. I found out Tobio and I aren’t going to Shiratorizawa together. We met up at the park that meets halfway of our houses and read our letters. I was able to get in with my grades, but regardless of Tobio’s abilities, his grades were just not enough. I knew he was the most frustrated, but I ended up crying so much. He kept hugging me saying that “It’s okay, we can still see each other, we know where we live.” But I kept saying it’ll be hard for me to make friends since Tobio was the only one I really connected with. I couldn’t see his face, but he just kept hugging me harder. He just said that I’m smarter and stronger than him because I’m brave enough to cry for both of us and get into Shiratorizawa; “Go there for both of us and I’ll meet your school’s team on the court and show them what they’ve missed out.” Tobio always had an odd smile back then, but the gloss on his blueberry eyes told me he meant it. So I smiled too and we just stayed there enveloping each other’s warmth. 

2 years ago

Dear Diary, 

It was the week of our graduations. Shiratorizawa’s graduation happened before Karasuno’s. But Bateyama (exhausted Kageyama) had to oversleep. Luckily, the previous third years from my first year came over to congratulate me since I was their manager. Tobio forcing me to learn volleyball seemed to come in handy, plus I was able to see them in their matches. Anyways, my closest friend Wakatoshi came. He brought me my favorite flowers and gave those rare smiles for me for graduating as Top 3 in my class! Ah, to make Waka proud and smile. It’s so rare just like Tobios, they’re both volleyball idiots but they're my volleyball idiots. 

After about an hour the third years had to leave for their trains and Tobio was then running towards me! I was so ready to yell at him for almost breaking his promise, but I kinda choked when I saw he was red-faced in a cuffed white button up and tie, black slacks, and a belt that definitely accentuated his upper build. He kept on apologizing for sleeping in, but he said he’d make it up by taking us to our usual restaurant.

Boy, did he feed me well. I really wanted to confess to him when we were walking home. His side profile looked so handsome with the orange and gold glow behind him. But then he told me he was going to the city, either Chiba or Tokyo to train for the volleyball team. So I stopped myself, I mean he’s going to be so busy and I’d just hold him back, right? What kind of friend would I be to stop him from his dreams after working so hard for it since second grade?

So we agreed to keep texting each other of course, and have the occasional meet up since I’ll be going to Keio University near Tokyo. 

Today

Dear Diary, 

I’m finally on break!!! And I got plans to meet up with Waka for dinner! Geez, I haven’t seen him in ages. He’s been constantly keeping me up to date with his matches and training and always checking in if I have food. He’s still the same back in high school, always looking out for me like a reliable captain. He also told me Tobio got in the Schweiden Alders! So maybe I get to finally see my blueberry boy. To be honest, I am kinda nervous though, we rarely text and haven’t seen each other in over a year. 

Checking the time, it read 3:20pm. You had to get ready and leave by 4pm, so hopefully you can make it to the gym by 4:30pm when Waka finishes up practice. Now that you knew you’re likely to run into Tobio, you thought maybe you should dress up a little. So putting on a long straight skirt that flattered your ass in the best ways and a short sleeve blouse that matched your natural makeup, you checked yourself out in your mirror. You for sure grew into a beautiful young woman, each feature on your face was no longer the “sweet, lovely YN”. You could take on any person you’d want. One you’re hoping to make an impression on after you meet him today. 

Awkwardly standing at the entrance of the gym, you can see a crowd of really tall and muscular guys patting down with towels and drinking water. Finally your eyes met with the stoic face of the olive-tone man. Waka started walking towards you, still clad in his sweaty uniform but you didn’t care. You went up to him and hugged as much as you could of his sports model torso. 

Waka gave you a small chuckle at your attempts and returned your hug. As you two were recapping your plans after he cleans up, you see at the corner of his bicep tufts of the same black hair you wanted to run your hands through. The blueberry boy was busy patting the sweat off his face with a towel. 

“Tobio? Tobio!” Hearing his name, Tobio looked in your direction as you jogged up to him. He looked to be in a state of shock that you were actually here. He staggered a bit when you hugged him, but after a moment he wrapped his arms around you.

Wow, he sure trained hard.

Pulling you out from deeper--inappropriate--thoughts, Tobio pushed your shoulders at arms length giving you his dopey smile. The dopey smile just for you. 

“What are you doing here, YN?”

“Oh, I’m here to meet up with Waka. I’m finally on break and he’s off this weekend, so we wanted to get dinner together.”

Looking behind you, Tobio sees the walking Super Ace coming towards you guys.

“Ah! You should join us Tobio! Right Waka?” you smiled looking up at Wakatoshi.

“Mm. If he’d like,” he stoically said.

“Sure, let me just get in the shower and I’ll meet you at the foyer.” 

Happy at the answer you wait for the two giants. While walking to the restaurant with a Koshitsu (private room/booth) you were in between the two, making you feel much smaller than you are. You kept talking since both of them were mostly listeners. Waka gave the hum for acknowledgement, but Tobio would keep his eyes on you. More specifically your hands. He could just easily grab them, but you guys weren’t like that. 

Dinner ended right when the skies were turning into a rich dark, blue. Almost like his eyes.

You thanked the heavens you didn’t pay because those two literally ate for a whole family. Each of them. Nonetheless, it was fun catching up with the volleyball fanatics.

“Would you like for me to walk you home Yn,” Waka asked.

“Um,” you hesitated since you wanted Tobio to ask you first. But then, “Ushijima-san, I understand your sleep schedule is at 8:30pm, it’s 8:00pm now. It’ll ruin your biological clock, so I can walk YN home. Also, she and I live in the same direction.” 

Waka looked at you for approval and you gave a reassuring nod, “I’d appreciate that Tobio and don’t worry Waka, Tobio and I have been close friends since middle school!”

At that, Wakatoshi bid both of you a good night and safe walk back home.

Reaching the doorstep to your flat, you turned around to face Tobio. You and him both awkwardly looked down at your feet until you broke the silence. 

“Would, would you like to come inside for drinks? You know since it’s my break and your weekend off?”

Snapping his head up, Tobio meekly nodded his head. Now you both were drinking at your kitchen counter laughing at the old memories before graduation. The giggles finally quieted down until there was a pregnant pause. 

“You know, I’ve always liked you since that day you bought me that milk,” he said softly. 

Now alert and cleared of your foggy thoughts, you stared at Tobio.

Tobio continued, “I didn’t realize how much I loved you until I saw how close you were to Ushijima…”

“Wait, do you mean it?”

Tobio quietly nodded his head and looked right into your eyes. Searching for an answer.

Instead, you lunged at him holding his face in your hands as you kissed him. Tobio titled his head and rested his hands on your hips. After a few chaste kisses, he wrapped his arms around the small of your back and deepened the kiss. 

Tobio prodded at your lips for entrance which you gladly gave into. His wet muscle forced yours down quickly and focused on exploring your mouth. Muffled moans from his tongue touching the roof of your wet cavern and suckling of your own wet muscle. Your knees literally became weak and were about to give out. Sensing this, Tobio’s firm, vein-decorated hands grasped your ass to hold you up against him. Gasping at his rough kneading you moaned, “T-tobio…”

Hearing his name falls from your lips was like flipping a switch in him. Next thing you know, he lifted you so you were now sitting on the edge of the counter. He became more aggressive and desperate to have his lips meet the rest of your skin. He started to trail down your neck, leaving deep red marks at the junction of your shoulders.

“Nghh--more Tobio…”

At this, he lifted and threw your blouse somewhere over his shoulder and started leaving new marks until Tobio’s lips grazed the edge of your bra.

“Off,” he huffed, “Now.” 

Seeing the dark, lust in his eyes caused your lower abdomen to tighten. So complying to his demands, you unclasp your bra revealing your supple chest to him. Then you suddenly feel the calloused fingers tweaking at one nipple while massaging and the lapping of his tongue on the other. Tobio growled at the newfound source while you curled your fingers at the base of his hair behind his head. After whimpers and moans from him interchanging between each nipple, you feel his hard-on grinding into your inner thigh. 

“A-ah, T-tobio…” his teeth tugged, “pl….mm, please!” you shouted

Releasing his mouth with a wholly pop, he huffed and looked at you with his overcasted bangs, 

“Do you really want to?”

Even after all that he still had that crease of a frown and genuine concern in his eyes.

Smiling at his question, you looked at him through your lashes before meeting your foreheads saying, “Of course I want you Tobio, I want you so bad…” 

Hearing the air choke up inside his throat, you decided it’s your turn to play with him now. 

Nearing his ear, you whispered, “I want to feel every,” you hands trail down his stomach, “ridge of you,” now at the edge of his track pants, “inside me,” he feels your fingertips shadowing over his, “as your cock bruises my cervix for a week,” as you grab his dick.

“Hgnh, YN…” you heard him moan into your ear. The temperature rising after hearing his voice become an octave deeper saying your name, “Where’s--,” you knew what he meant. 

“The l-last door,” he kept grinding into you as he worked on your boobs again, “d-down...Mmm...the hall..ah!” At that moment, Tobio reached under your skirt and rubbed through your underwear. 

Finally knowing his destination, he lifted you with your legs wrapping around him as he kicked your slightly opened door to your room. At the soft bounce of your bed, you can see the moonlight illuminate on Tobio as he hurriedly took off his clothes. The shadows intensifying the curves of his abs and pecs. The moonlight highlighting the buff muscle on his arms and...his thighs.

Practically salivating at his sculpted body, you hear him chuckle a little before saying, “You like what you see?”

Confidence and heat now pumping through your veins, you got on your knees before slowly wiggling out of your skirt, giving him a show of your wet, laced underwear. 

“Do you like what you see,” you questioned as you propped your hands on his shoulders. 

“Yes, very much,” he smugly said. 

Tobio and you were now heavily locking lips. All the while, two of his cold rough fingers slipped through your underwear, being slicked up by your wet arousal. 

“Ahh...Tobio, please….I need you….inside,” your breathily moaned. 

Grunting at your plea, he quickly ripped off your underwear so that you both can clearly see the pool of your arousal staining it in the center.

Shoulders pushed down on the comforter, you gazed up at the lusted blue eyes. You both were panting and gleams of sweat could be seen glistening from the moon’s light. 

“Do you still want to,” Tobio asked again, with more seriousness than ever. 

“Yes, I want you Tobio,” as you pushed back his bangs that were dangling above you. 

Smiling at your response, he locked lips with you again. This time with so much love and passion knowing that you guys can finally be together after so many agonizing years. 

Distracted with his lips, Tobio used his hand to guide himself at your entrance. Feeling the tip, you both looked at each other one last time for approval before you gave him a nod. In your quiet room, you can hear the sound of your arousal gliding his cock inside you while Tobio huffed into the crook of your neck. Grabbing his shoulders and shutting your eyes, you can feel the girth of him widen you more and more, “T-tobio you’re,” your moan was caught in your throat, “so--” that’s when you felt the tip poking at your cervix, “...b-big”

Hearing your confession, you can feel the smirk grow on his face. But then you hear him let out a strangled grunt, “And you’re,” he grunts again, “shit...too t-tight…”

As you adjusted, Tobio used everything in him to stay still at your fluttering walls. You signaled him by nodding your head that you’re ready.

Tobio started at a slow pace, which slightly burned, that is until pain turned into heated neediness. Whimpering for Tobio to “go faster” the room was filled with your hitched wining and his hot panting on your collarbone. Your walls constricted around him, making you feel every vein and curve of his. The soft patting of the bed and wall only increased with Tobio’s need to hear more of your voice. 

So he took one of your breasts into his mouth and started flicking his tongue on it. The other hand which was gripping your hip was traveling down south. Through your folds, his thumb met with your sensitive nub. He began to make figure eights resulting in a rush of pleasure go through you. Shivering at it, Tobio’s tongue stopped for a second. He felt you tightening around him, making him release a deep throaty moan, “Anghh, Y-YN…”

Hearing his panting and increased pounding against your tightening muscles, you gripped his shoulders and arched your back when Tobio gave an extra hard thrust making you feel it all over the inside of your pelvis. 

“Nghh, I’m gonna---” you moaned until you hitched your breath because Tobio began pressing harder figure eights against your nub and he started to suck to bruise the junction of your shoulder again.

“I-I know, baby, just,” he let out a hot release of breath when you thrusted up to meet your needs.

“Tobio, I-ahh…!,” you couldn’t finish your sentence because Tobio used both his hands to lift your waist against him. Unfazed by his own need to have you released first, his dick was able to reach inside you in new depths you never thought were there. 

“I need you to cum first, princess,” he grunted as he brought you to him in a new angle.

With his bruising grip at your sides, your hands clawed and clenched at your sheets. You needed something to ground you as Tobio kept railing into you. The sound of skin slapping against each other and the feeling of your breast moving in rhythm of his thrusts pushed you at the edge.

“I can feel you almost s-snapping YN,” Tobio looked down at you, sweat shining on his forehead. With his shit-eating grin he continued, “Princess, I need you--ngh-- to cum now…” 

At this, everything just broke inside you. Your body released everything that was pent up resulting in a shake go up your spine. On Tobio’s end, you had a death-grip on him, your walls were so tight and were milking him of his impending orgasim. Your walls pulsing in waves. No longer able to hold it, Tobio released a guttural moan while leaning forward, as his warm cum splattered your walls white. Still riding out both your highs, you guys caught your breaths. 

Sitting back up on his heels, Tobio slowly pulled out from you. You wincing and clenching at the emptiness, and him hissing at the loss of warmth. Looking down at your womanhood, Tobio smirks in pride of seeing both your cum leaking out. Proudly, he used two fingers to slide the liquid up from the bottom of your fold, back into your abused hole. 

“Angh! Tobio!” You shouted at him from oversensitivity. He only chuckled at your reaction and leaned forward. He plopped right next to you and brought you up against his broad bare chest.

He kissed the crown of your head. After a few moments of basking in silence you asked,

“So does this mean we’re dating?” cheekily tilting your head up to him.

He scoffed at your question before he looked away with a tint of a blush, “G-go to sleep already.”

You giggle at his reaction knowing well enough what he meant. “I love you too, Tobio,” you said before shutting your eyes. 

Before you fell into a deep sleep you remember his dark-blue eyes gazing at you. 

He quietly said, “I love you too, dummy,” as he stroked the hair of your now sleeping form.

tag: @sugawalmartwobble​ @gulfwanq​

[amanda-glassen]

The Wonder Years: Part 6

While getting ready for her first school dance, twelve-year-old Olivia starts a path toward discovering who she is truly meant to be. Parts 1-5 can be found under the the tag #alex and liv: the wonder years

Thank you to everyone who reblogged the last chapter and an extra special thank you to @imaginaryoperagloves ​@oliviaswifey and my lovely anon for your comments.

...and a very happy day THREE of birthday week to my love @ghostwritingcabenson

Olivia had kissed her girlfriend just three more times before Abbie and Serena interrupted their time alone. She had now kissed Alex a total of five times and each kiss had been better than the one before. And it’s going to keep getting better. 

“You guys missed the best thing to happen at the dance,” Serena excitedly told her best friend. She sat down on the bench next to Alex and squeezed in as closely as she could so Abbie could sit down on the other side of her. “Logan in our homeroom asked Ava to slow dance with him even though he’s with Allie and when Allie found out she splashed an entire cup of punch on him and his white shirt. Everyone, even the seventh and eighth graders, were laughing at him. He’s such a creep. It’s gonna be the topic of conversation all day on Monday and I can’t believe you guys missed it.”

“What were you doing out here anyway?” Abbie asked. “Were you sick of the eighth graders? The way they dance is just grinding on each other. It’s so gross and they think they’re so much cooler than everyone.”

Serena gasped. “I know why they were out here.” She started to stare at her best friend’s face. “Something about you is different, Alex. You’re glowing and you’re like a whole new woman. You and Olivia were kissing! Tell me all about it. Did she slip you the tongue? Wait, you can’t tell me that in front of her. Call me as soon as you get home and tell me every detail.”

“What?” Alex’s eyes widened. “No! Olivia and I don’t do that! We just kissed normally.”

Serena nearly pounced on her best friend. “You and Olivia kissed? I’m so happy for you! You still need to call me tonight and tell me everything, though. Are her lips soft? Abbie’s are really soft and she wears vanilla chapstick. She tastes like a birthday cake and you know how much I love birthday cake.”

“I’m right here, Serena,” Abbie said in a frustrated tone of voice. “And none of that slipping the tongue stuff for us either. That’s so gross. I have enough spit of my own. I don’t need yours, too.”

Olivia glanced over at the pick-up and drop-off area and noticed a man around her mom’s age pull up in a black sports car. Her mom drove a hybrid and hated men who drove sports cars because she said most of them were pretentious, but Olivia had to admit it was one of the coolest cars she had ever seen. 

“That’s my uncle Emerson,” Abbie told them. “My parents are having date night tonight so I’m staying with him.”

“Can we check out his car?” Serena asked. Before Abbie could respond, Serena grabbed her by the hand and started hurrying her over. 

“You want to see it, too, don’t you?” Alex asked Olivia. “Nevermind. I don’t even have to ask. Let’s go see it.”

The car was a brand new Mustang and Olivia was in awe of the interior and all the features it had. “Uncle Em, these are my friends Alex and Olivia,” Abbie told him, bringing Olivia out of the trance she was in from staring at the car. “And the beautiful girl in the same dress as me is my girlfriend Serena.”

“It’s nice to meet you girls,” Emerson said to them. He was handsome and well dressed with brown hair and brown eyes and Olivia was sure she had seen him somewhere before even if she couldn’t figure out where.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” Olivia blurted out.

“You’re Serena Benson’s daughter, aren’t you?” Emerson asked. 

“...yeah,” Olivia hesitated. “Do you work with my mom?”

Emerson shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen your mom in thirteen years. She and I were best friends in college. We did everything together. She was in my fraternity’s sister sorority and I found out her dorm room was a few doors down from mine. We were both pledges at the same time so we’d swap horror stories about pledging every night at the cafe on the first floor of our building.”

“My mom never talks about college,” Olivia said glumly. “She doesn’t show me pictures either, but I saw her sorority keepsake box this past summer and I think that’s where I recognized you from. You guys went to formal together, right?”

Emerson slicked his hair back with his hand, trying to recall when he and Serena had gone to formal together. “Freshman, sophomore, and junior year,” he said matter-of-factly. “Now that I think about it we went every year other than senior year because your mom moved back home to LA when…”

“When she was pregnant with me?” Olivia asked. She could feel Alex, Abbie, and Serena staring at her, but she didn’t care. Whenever she asked her mom or even her aunt and uncle who her dad was, she was always met with a vague answer of her dad being someone her mom knew in college, but she was now face-to-face with someone who could possibly give her answers and she didn’t care how anyone reacted to her getting them.

“Would you girls excuse me?” Emerson asked. “Olivia, do you want to step aside and talk? I can see you have some other questions and it’s better if I answer them privately.”

“I’m her girlfriend,” Alex crossed her arms. “Olivia and I don’t keep secrets from each other, so anything you can say to her can be said to me.”

“Is that okay with you, Olivia?” he asked.

“...yeah,” Olivia responded nervously, now wondering if this conversation was still a good idea.

The three of them were standing close enough for Emerson to keep an eye on Abbie and Serena but far enough for the two of them not to be able to hear their conversation.

“Your mom was something,” Emerson chuckled. Judging by the expression on his face, Olivia could tell he was thinking of fond memories. I’ve finally found the right person to give me answers. “She was president of Phi Delt in her junior year. She was sick of weekly weigh-ins and all of this asinine stuff the girls were forced to do so I got a call from her at 3 a.m. and she’s saying she had an epiphany and that she’s going to run for president so she can change everything she hated about the organization. She laid out her entire campaign plan for me and I remember being so in awe of her because her plan worked. Serena was so fiery and so much fun. That woman was my everything when I was an undergrad. She found out she was pregnant a couple of weeks after our junior year ended. She had gone back home to LA for the summer and she called me a few minutes after she found out she was pregnant. She ended up taking a year off of school and I never saw her again.”

“She should be here any minute,” Alex said, her arms still crossed as she talked to Emerson. “If you and her were such great friends, I’m sure she’d love to see you.”

“I better not,” Emerson responded. “Serena and I had a falling out. I’m not sure she’d be as happy to see me as you think she’d be.”

“Why?” Olivia asked. “Did it have to do with my dad? If you were her best friend and the person she spent all her time with, you had to know him. Can you tell me something about him? Anything?”

“Were you jealous of him?” Alex narrowed her eyes at Emerson. “She liked some other guy so that’s why you stopped talking to her?”

“There was no other guy,” he said to Olivia, completely disregarding Alex. “That May, when she got pregnant with you, there was no other guy.”

“How?” Olivia asked. “If there was no other guy, then how did she－oh. You’re my...” It had suddenly become too much for Olivia. She wanted to cry, she wanted to hug him, but mostly she felt angry with her mom for keeping him from her all these years. 

She knew she only had a couple of minutes left with him, so she clinged to her dad tighter than she had ever clinged to anyone before for fear that the moment she let go, she’d realize that this had all been a dream. 

Emerson wrapped his arms around her, placing a kiss on top of her head. “I’ve been waiting so long to hold you, ever since I found out your mom was pregnant.”

“You have?”

“I loved your mom with all of my heart,” he said as she caressed Olivia’s back to comfort her. “I wanted us to be a family, but she didn’t want that. She didn’t even want me to see you, but I’ve watched you grow up online. Your mom and I aren’t friends on social media but I’ve seen your pictures through friends of friends. Abbie says you’re a great basketball player. You and I have that in common. I played when I was your age and in high school.”

“I get it from you then,” Olivia managed to say through her tears. “My mom knows nothing about sports.”

“Olivia,” Alex tried to get her attention. “Your mom should be here any second now. We have to go, unless...Emerson, you’d like to see Serena? Serena and her perfect girlfriend who is tall and strong and can probably hurt any man who messes with Serena.”

“Your girl is a fiery one, too,” he said to Olivia. “I know your mom should be here soon, so I’m going to give you my number and you can call or text me anytime you want.”

Olivia pulled away so she could get her phone out of her back pocket. Once she got his number, she immediately texted him so he could have hers. Her text message simply read, ‘Hi, Dad.’ but she had waited a lifetime just to be able to call someone that.

Olivia watched her dad drive away, wondering if she’d get the opportunity to see him again or if her mom would keep him from her for another 12 years. I don’t care what she says. This is her fault. We could have been a family this whole time but she ruined it for us. She ruined everything.

“I don’t like him,” Alex said as they walked over to where Jamie’s car had just pulled up. “There’s something creepy about him. Your mom seems cool, Olivia. She’s even taking us for frozen yogurt right now when most parents would never do that for their daughter’s boyfriend or girlfriend. If she’s cool about other things, don’t you think there’s a good reason why she never told you about him? And he knows your mom wouldn’t want you to talk to him, but yet he says you can text him behind your mom’s back? A responsible adult would first try to make amends with your mom and then build a relationship with you.”

Before Olivia could respond, Serena came rushing over to her. She had removed her stilettos and set them down on the grass so she could walk faster. I don’t even want her touching me. But the moment she was wrapped up in her mom’s embrace, Olivia couldn’t bring herself to be mad at her. “Ollie, sweetie, why are you crying? You had me so worried.” 

She felt the softness of her mom’s sweater dress and smelled the familiar scent of her Burberry Blush perfume and the product she used whenever she wanted her hair in beach waves. Everything about her mom felt like home and she never wanted to upset her or do anything to hurt the woman who loved her more than life itself.

“We just found out something very disturbing, Ms. Benson,” Alex began. “Mrs. Rodriguez, our science teacher, is giving us another science project. It’s really going to cut into Olivia’s ESPN time.”

“My girl,” her mom said as she began to caress her back the same way her dad did just a few moments before. “Is that what’s wrong? You know I’ll help you with your project.”

“Yeah,” Olivia nuzzled into her mom’s shoulder. It wasn’t exactly a lie. She did have a project.

Her mom placed a kiss on Olivia’s nose. “I love you so much Ollie. You’re my smart girl and I know you’re going to do great on your project but if you ever need help with anything at all, you can always come to me. Now let’s go get you girls some frozen yogurt. I want to hear all about your date and get to know your Disney princess.”

“Ms. Benson, stay here. I’ll go get your shoes,” Alex said. “They’re Louboutins. They should not just be lying in the grass.”

“Your girlfriend knows her shoes, Ollie.”

“She knows everything,” Olivia beamed with pride. 

“Apparently she knows how to kiss, too, because I can see some glitter lip gloss on your lips.”

Olivia immediately covered her mouth. “Mom, I－wait, is that a mark on your neck?”

“I’m allergic to our fabric softener,” Serena quickly responded.

Olivia was grateful when Alex returned with her mom’s shoes and they could finally drop the subject. “Ms. Benson, your cheeks are so pink. What blush do you use?”

“Oh, I’m not wearing any,” Serena responded. “I only wear foundation, mascara, and lipstick.”

“You’re glowing!” Alex told her. “I need to know your skincare routine.”

Olivia took a second glance at her mom. She did look different. Her cheeks were pink, her lipstick that was usually perfectly applied was somewhat faded, and she had a dark mark on her neck. What did she….oh, MOM! Yuck! She was making out with Jamie right before picking us up. I’m never gonna be able to look Jamie in the eyes again.

But on second thought, now she can’t ground me for kissing Alex. If she does, I'll ground her for making out with Jamie. 

Olivia wasn’t sure if she should talk to her mom about meeting her dad or if she should even continue texting him behind her mom’s back no matter how much she wanted a relationship with him. But she had until the end of the night to think about it. For the next hour, she was going to eat some frozen yogurt with gummy worms in it and try to avoid getting grounded.

[jadewritings]

Fractured Mind

Pairing: Sam and Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k+

Warning(s): Angst, Fluff, Sadness, Mental Torture

Author’s Note: This may seemed rushed and i wont lie, it is lol. It’s been sitting in my drafts for a while but I don't wanna waste the idea so... it is what it is. This was forced too. Words forced to be written cause i so badly wanna get back into writing.

Summary: Everything was perfect, you got the guys, the kids, the white picket fence life. You were happy, until you weren’t.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look how high I’m going!” Your six year old son shouted at you from the swing. You smiled and sent a thumbs up his way.

“Make sure you be careful not to go too high, daddy.” You shouted at Dean who only laughed evilly.

You sighed and looked over to your left at Sam, who bounced your 2 year old daughter on his lap, making her giggle. It was contagious, making you both laugh.

“You two really make great fathers.” You told him, kissing his cheek lovingly.

“And you make a wonderful mother.” He smiled at you and pressed his lips to yours while one hand rested on your bump.

“Nah, I’m just a surrogate at this point. Mira and junior don’t even look my way anymore.” Sighing, you picked up your water and drank it.

“Y/N, tell me you don’t really believe that?” He asked.

“Sam, we’ve had two kids, working on our third and god knows how many more. They haven’t clung to me like they do you guys.” Mira blew a raspberry, and slapped her hands on Sam’s cheeks, effectively squishing them. “See?”

“Honey, they love you just as much as they do us. You carried them for nine months, you feed them, love them, hold them. They know you’re their mother.”

Mira turned her big y/e/c eyes toward you and squee’d in baby talk, stretching her arms out for you to hold her. You laughed, and being as hormonal as you can be for being five months pregnant, began to tear up.

You couldn’t help kissing all over her face and listening to her squeal and laugh. “You guys have no idea how much I love you.”

Sam turned your face to his and kissed you. Not just a peck, but a deep, full of love, passionate kiss.

“Whoa now, kids around.” Dean joked as he walked over to the table with junior. “Mommy! Did you see how high daddy pushed me!”

You sniffled and laughed, “You bet your butt I did! You were practically soaring through the sky bud!” Junior sat on your lap and drank his soda from McDonald’s.

Dean sat across from y’all, picking Mira from your lap and playing with her. Your heart swelled with love and pride, having two wonderful partners and two wonderful children. It was like nothing bad in the world could touch you, it was just you guys, happy and healthy.

Dean started to say something but when you looked at his mouth, no sound came out.

“What?” Dean repeated what he said but it sounded almost glitched.

“It’s... almost.. time.”

“Time? Time for what?” You looked over at Sam but it was as if Dean hadn’t said anything, he continued to eat his food.

“Guys, what’s going on?” The world started to lose its color, fading to black.

“No, no, no! Sam! Dean!”

It felt as if you were falling and your family was fading out of existence. When you opened your eyes, the room was dark and it reeked of death. Your shoulder ached and your body felt heavy. You looked around. There was no Dean, no Sam, no kids. They were gone.

You tried to struggle but the chains holding you up and the heaviness outweighed your will. You groaned, only just hearing the footsteps getting closer.

“Aw, somebody’s awake. Have a good dream?”

The man you saw when you looked up didn’t look human. His skin was pale, tribal tattoos covered every inch of his body. His eyes started to glow blue.

“Dream?” Your voice cracked from dehydration. You looked around, a needle stuck in your arm as you hung from chains connected to the ceiling. Then the flashes came. The happiness, the love, the pride, the feeling that nothing could go wrong. One big happy family. Tears threatened to overflow.

“It wasn’t real...”

“Oh honey, nothing that perfect could ever be real. Did you really think it was?”

Your face hardened, “You son of a bitch! I’m gonna kill you!” You struggled against the chains to charge forward but it was useless. Along with the dream, your strength was gone. The sight made the djinn laugh.

“Aaahh, I do love when they struggle. But, it’s time for you to sleep again and give me that sweet, sweet blood of yours.” He smiled and his eyes began to glow again, his tattoos seemingly moving down. You felt tired and went to sleep again.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look how high I’m going!”

3 DAYS EARLIER

“Dean, Y/N.” Sam called his brother, “Got a case.”

The case was in Houston Texas, almost a days worth drive. Sam had a theory as to what it was because they had seen their type before. This guy was leaving bodies in the wide open, blue handprints left on their stomachs. An easy giveaway, as Sam called it.

After setting up in the motel, Sam and Dean left you to your own devices while they went and talked to the relatives of one of the deceased. the case seemed like it was gonna be an easy kill and go home but when the brothers returned, they didn’t have any luck. 

Dean sighed and fell to the bed. He smoothed a hand down his face, he seemed quite tired.

“Dean why don't you just get some sleep? You too, Sam. I can do some research for now.” you smiled at both of them.

Sam, who reached into the small fridge on the dresser behind you to grab a water, put his hand to your shoulder. “Thanks, Y/N. That would be appreciated.”

He gulped some water and flopped onto the other bed in the room. Both of the boys were out in minutes. 

After a few hours you found that Djinns tend to live in ruins, usually – the bigger, the better. With that in mind, you looked up places like that and bingo bango, you had your target.

You started to open your mouth to wake up Sam and Dean but with the way Dean was snoring and Sam looking so comfortable under his covers, you couldn't bring yourself to do it. sleep was something they were long over due for. So, you grabbed your gun and knife and headed out, hot wiring a rusty old pickup truck in fear of Dean’s wrath if he saw you took Baby.

The only way to kill one was a silver blade dipped in lambs blood so you had to make a pit stop for that before reaching your destination.

It was pitch black outside, no doubt most people would be asleep. But nope, not you. Had to slice and dice before hitting that pillow oh so nice. You took a deep breath as you stood in front of a half burnt asylum. Best known because a patient who was getting abused here set it aflame. What better ruin to hide in?

“Better now than later, Y/N.” you surmised to yourself. If you could handle this on your own maybe Sam and Dean, the two big doofs would finally look your way. You feel in love with Dean first, the flirty of the two. You met him first on a ghost hunt. He almost stole it but you ended up working together on it. 

The next time you saw him was with his brother, when they needed backup for a case. One you were willing to provide, anything to see Dean again. Then Sam came swooping in making you fall for him too. His intelligence blew you away. The way he cared for those around him and would do anything for anyone who needed it. You’d been stuck to them every since that case.

The Winchester brother got you, hook line and sinker. There was no way around it, your thoughts filled with them. But you couldn’t confess that to them. Why would they even like you like that. At least you thought so.

You quietly stepped into the asylum, checking each room as you went by.

Sam groaned as he turned onto his left side, slowly blinking his eyes awake. He noticed the light of his laptop still on. He sat up, wiping away any sleep left behind.

“Y/N?” he looked over to his right, the bed empty. Then he looked at Dean’s, so was his except his brother. He got up and walked to the bathroom to see if she was in there but the light was off. He started to panic internally. 

Sam raced to the laptop to check what she had looked at. All of Y/N’s research was right there and even where she thought the Djinn was.

“Dean!” Sam grabbed his coat since he had fallen asleep in his shirt and jeans.

His brother jumped, “Huh- wha?”

“Y/N went after the Djinn by herself.” that snapped Dean awake.

“What?!” Sam tossed him his jacket and the keys, Dean slipping his gun in the back of his jeans and both of them rushing out to the impala.

The ride to the asylum was silent with tension in the air. Both brothers were worried of course, Dean angry at himself for not keeping an eye on her. She’d been with them for a while now. She was useful to them, not only that but they both came to care for her.

“She’ll be okay, Dean. She’s tough.” Sam cut through the tension. 

Dean didn’t want to say much, his thoughts going a million miles in his head thinking if she was safe or even alive, so he opted for, “Yeah.” His grip on the steering wheel tightened, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by his brother.

Sam pulled out his phone, bringing up Y/N’s contact. If she was in trouble, they had to get to her fast.

You’d been walking around for a little bit now, but still no sign of the Djinn. Maybe you’d gotten the place wrong? Maybe there was another ruin the monster preferred. But this one was just too perfect to pass up, it had to be this one.

You walked further down a corridor, the walls had soot all over them, parts of it burned down to the dry wall. You turned when you heard something move in the distance. Your eyes narrowed when you saw nothing there. You faced the way you were walking again only to see the Djinn right in front of you, smirking. 

“Well, well, what do we have here.” You reacted immediately and jabbed the knife towards him, but he was quicker. He’d grabbed your wrist and twisted it so you’d drop your weapon. You groaned but that was the only thing you’d give him. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing you in pain.

He sniffed up you neck and into your hair, making you flinch away. “You smell... delectable.” With his last word, you saw a faint glow behind you and his hand come up to cover your eyes. After that, you were out.

*

Dean and Sam had just arrived at the location you had saved on Sam’s computer. They both agreed it was definitely the place the Djinn would be. They got their guns and knives ready, putting the knife in their waistbands and keeping their guns glued to in front of them.

They entered the same way you had but one brother went left and the other went right, splitting up to hopefully find you quicker. The hallways smelled old and a scent of burnt wood still lingered in the air. However long it had been since the fire, the reminders of it were still there. 

Dean couldn’t lie, the place had an eerie feel to it. He checked around every corner, in every room, and so far, no sign of you.

Sam did the same, checking carefully, making sure to stay quiet so he could have an advantage. He entered a larger room than the others he had passed. It almost looked like the nave of a church, benches lined up in rows with space in the middle to walk until you hit a few steps to climb. At the center of the steps, you hung from chains.

“Y/N!” Sam whispered trying to get your attention as he quickly made his way to you. You gave no response. You didn’t move at all and that worried Sam. He tapped your face a few times and held it up, whispering your name again. Nothing.

The doors flew open and Sam looked over from you. Dean’s body flew a few feet before he landed with a grunt.

“Dean!” Sam shouted to his brother. Dean grunted, “Heya, Sammy.” sarcastically. The Djinn walked in behind him.

“Is it Thanksgiving because it seems like I’m gonna have a big meal I’m thankful for.” Sam’s jaw clenched and Dean stood up from the ground.

“Get her out of here Sam, I got this.”

*

“Mommy! Mommy! Did you see how high I was going?” Junior shouted as he raced towards you. You smiled brightly, “Yes I did, Bug. Did you have fun?” he jumped up on your lap, nodding and breathing heavily. Dean walked up behind him and leaned down to give you a kiss. It was something you savored. You looked across the table at Sam who had your daughter in his hands, squealing at him as he attacked her face with kisses. But something in your gut told you this was too good to be true. You were kind of having Deja vu.

Then you heard it. Your name was being called. 

“Sam?” you asked. The Sam across from you looked up and frowned.

“What’s the matter?” he questioned.

Again. You’re name. But this time, you definitely knew it didn’t come from him. Something wasn’t right, you felt it. This world, it wasn’t real. Flashes of memory made you realize, you were a hunter. Hunters didn’t get to live like this. They either died from a monster or by the end of a barrel. They didn’t get the white picket fence happiness.

You set Junior down on the ground, slowly getting up.

“Y/N? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Dean grabbed your arm, his face twisted with concern.

“This isn’t real. None of this is real.” you whispered.

“Not real? Baby, this is as real as it gets.” Dean answered back.

“No. No no no. I have to get out of here.” The despair and sadness you suddenly felt tore your heart to pieces. You wanted so bad for it to be real. To be with the two men you so dearly loved, to have a family with them. But you knew it wasn’t your reality.

You reached into your purse, grabbing the keys and taking off in the impala. Your heart raced, you didn’t really know where you were going. At this point you just wanted it all to end. So, you pushed harder on the gas pedal and crashed into a metal pole.

You gasped awake, heart struggling to clam. The feeling of the crash still lingering. You currently sat in the back of the impala, the familiar rumble helped to sooth you.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” You looked up and saw Dean smiling at you behind the wheel.

“What happened? Where’s the Djinn?” you asked. Sam turned so he could face you, a gentle smile crossing his features.

“He’s gone. You don’t have to worry about him.” You nodded and the car fell into a silence. Dean glanced back at you through the rearview mirror and you had a feeling you knew the question he was itching to ask.

“We were married.” you spoke, the boys turning their attention to you.

Sam looked at his brother before clearing his throat, “W-What?”

Tears pricked at your eyes, “We had kids and I was pregnant.” You laughed and sniffled, “We had a white picket fence life. Junior, was Dean and I’s son, Mira was Sam and I’s daughter. We loved each other- I... loved both of you. I still do.”

“Y/N-” Sam was speechless.

“No- I, please, Sam. Just... don’t. I know we can never have that. You and Dean probably wouldn’t even go for that, let alone have feelings for me.” The tears spilled onto your cheeks and once again, the car was silent.

After a minute, the impala slowed and pulled off to the side of the road. You sniffed and looked up, Dean turning around in his seat.

“You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to say what I do and don’t feel because I know what I want. When Sam told me you’d gone off on your own, it scared the hell outta me. I didn’t know if we’d reach you in time or if I’d have to see you dead in some ruin. I know how I feel, Y/N, how we feel.” You followed his gaze to his brother. Sam smiled and nodded.

“We love you too, Y/N.”

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[writersplight]

THE FATHER IS A DEAD MAN

For: @elijahlittle A/N: This bitch took me so long to write. I will probably post more because I enjoy pain caused by Erwin Smith. Enjoy <3 ——— Ena’s dream for the longest time was to be a beloved mother and wife. She has been looking for a husband ever since she left home, the desire for her dream to come true burning within her. For years now, since joining the Survey Corps, it had been put on the back burner, always in the back of her mind. Unfortunately for her, she fell for the commander. Erwin Smith. A monster of a man to some, but to her—due to years of chipping away at his exterior walls in private—he had shown her some of his humanity. Deep, deep down below the veil of a commander was a human that she has risked it all for. In his own way, he has shown how fond he has grown of her, too. Like almost a month ago, when Ena entered his room to hand him some tea she made, and they shared a passionate night together. Ena never thought she'd get that far with the commander, so she cherished every moment She could have sworn he said something about loving her, but she didn’t ask. She held onto that like a lifeline. Through all the recent mornings of her getting sick and feeling nauseated, she thought: “He said he loved me, so I’m okay.” It was all worth it. With the betrayal of Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover—the Armored and Colossal titan—and now news of the titans in the wall, and the Beast Titan, Ena was instructed to stay in Wall Sina and see a doctor. She didn’t argue, because she was growing concerned about being this sick in the morning. Also the increase in appetite. In hindsight, she should have known what was happening to her. However, that didn’t stop her from pulling him off to the side, and, though his eyes were distant, and he wasn’t the Erwin she knew then, she told him to “Hurry back alive”. The doctor confirmed it, after she waited for a few hours. Half of her dream was being achieved. She was going to be a mother. Only three weeks along, she could see her life unfold. Maybe this will be the thing that grounds Erwin, and ties him to her officially. Up until now, she was content with the privacy, with the late night whispers and touches. But now. . . She awaited them to come back, a nervous smile on her face that didn’t match the others. There were always injured soldiers, and reasons why missions extended passed what she was told. That was normal. Her light blue eyes wandered for the commander, going from distressed teen face to distressed teen face. Something was off, that was more than apparent. She grabs onto Levi and Hanji’s arms, searching for something in their faces. “Where’s Erwin? I have some news I have to break.” Ena’s voice is wobbly, seeing their face grow grim. She’s sitting at a table, where some cadets and Levi join her. Armin sits farthest away, at the end of the table, head leaning down. “Ena. . .” Hanji starts, but quickly stops, looking at the ground. There’s no point in crying, is there? Not all over again, after crying before. It’s not what’s expected of them now. As the 14th commander of the Survey Corps. . . “He’s dead.” Levi finishes, getting up for tea. He gets her some. She’s filled in on the mission, the basement, the whole Armin being chosen over Erwin. She’s silent, taking it all in. Her eyes wander to Armin, who won’t even look up. Her heart squeezes, not able to imagine the pressure he must feel. Still, she listens, holding back her own news and tears. It feels wrong to be happy about it now. “So. . . Armin was chosen over Erwin?” Levi nods, slowly, bringing his cup to his lips. She nods slowly, mulling over the information. To her, though she misses him, it makes sense. She manages a small smile, turning her head. “Armin, come here.” She instructs, and he does so instantly. She takes his hands in her own when he sits in the chair to her left. “I can’t imagine the pressure you’re under. Bertholdt’s memories, the Colossal titan’s powers, feeling like you were chosen over Erwin—it’s a lot for a boy. However, you are not Erwin. You are your own

person. Do not let Levi or Hanji pressure you into filling his shoes. You’re brilliant on your own.” He looks mortified. She sighs, moving her hair off her shoulders. “You must, instead, promise me one thing.” She holds out her pink finger. “You must be the opposite of Erwin Smith, got it? You cannot lose sight of your dreams or your own humanity, okay? Can you promise me that?” Tears well in his eyes, as he locks pinkies with her. It was a difficult promise, one that he will most likely break, but Ena was already prepared for that. It was okay for Armin to break this promise, because it was only made to take the pressure off of him at this moment. “Right, thank you.” She pulls away from the burdened cadet. She sighs, looking down at her tea. It was untouched. She didn’t want any of it. She licks her lips, swallowing what little tears she had. Clearing her throat, she makes her announcement. “I’m pregnant.” And the father is a dead man.

She cries on her own time. She’s not going to be the strong soldier she built herself up to be. She’s not going to have the support of a husband. Her child isn’t going to have a child. Ena cries harder at the thought. On the left side of the room, but in a separate quarters, Levi hears her. It’s not like he was sleeping anyways. He says nothing, sitting in the loss of a friend and the mourning from another. ——— It’s a boy. Ena smiles, holding it close to her body. It was a long nine months, but so worth it. Her baby boy, so small and fragile. Her baby boy. Half of her dream is still completed. He’s alive and healthy. “What are you going to name him?” Levi asks, peering down at the small baby. He looks disgusted, but that’s just his face. “I don’t quite know. I haven’t given it much thought.” she whispers, the exhaustion kicking in. She didn’t know birth was so painful, or this long. She’s been in labor for ten hours. But, she wouldn’t trade it for the world. She has her baby boy, her dream, in her hands. What was once thought of unattainable, was struggling in her clothed breasts, peacefully sleeping. “What about ‘Erwin’—junior, of course,” Hanji suggests, and the mere thought of it made her clutch her baby closer to her chest. “If they share the same name,” she slowly says, continuing to mull it over, “will they have to share the same fate? Would I have to watch my son become desensitized to deaths he caused—to my own love? Would I have to watch him throw away his life, while I’m on the sidelines?” The blonde didn’t realize she was crying until Levi held out a handkerchief. She takes it, wiping her face haphazardly. Her eyes pierce the new commander, who gulps. “That’s not—” “No one can live up to his name, his selfish selflessness. I will give him a different name, and he’ll forge his own path.” She says, with finality, and Hanji nods, going to leave. Unlike Erwin, they could not stand awkward situations they made, and refused to sit in them. “I have thought about it,” Ena whispers, stopping them, “but look at him. My beautiful baby boy is part of me, too. It’s one thing to lose a lover that was barely yours, it’s another to lose your baby boy to a name he knows nothing of. . . I don’t want to rob him of any opportunities he has to be a regular boy.” They nod, leaving. Levi sighs, sitting back. Through everything, he’s still here. For some reason. It’s as confusing as it is comforting. Soon, the cadets come, amazed by the little baby. They were polite and quiet—those who got rowdy were threatened by Levi—and she handed her baby off to be held one by one. When it got to the last person, Connie, it had to be taken from him. He was crying hysterically for some reason, and his hands were shaky and unstable. He returned later, with flowers and an apology. “You’re going to apologize for crying, but not tell me why?” Ena jokes, shifting up in her bed. She was still sore and tired, but was restless. Her baby was sleeping in a cradle next to her. “Right, uhm—” he sits down, wiping his hands on his pants. “Sorry. He just—whatever his name is—he reminded me of when my youngest brother was born. I miss my family.” “Ah. . .” was all Ena said, leaning over to put her hand over one of Connie’s. Her eyes searched for the younger cadet’s, getting all the information she needed. Now that she was a mother, she could read people slightly better. It’ll only get stronger as he grows up. “Then I think you have a dream similar to mine. For different reasons. I had a bad, distant family, so I wanted to make one who was close. For how you act, I assume you had a close family.” The buzzcut teen nods, a deep frown on his lips. “You’ll find someone. Right now isn’t the best time, you’re still young, but it’ll come.” She advised, before pointing towards her baby. “That baby boy right there, should be enough motivation. You’ve got a big heart, Connie, I don’t doubt you’ll achieve your dreams.” He nods, and says something about how late it is, that they both need their beauty sleep. Ena stops the teen

soldier before he leaves, pointing to her son again. Her smile never falters. “His name is Ezran.” ——— It’s hard raising a baby and being in the Survey Corps, but she manages it as best as she can. What makes it easier is that everyone adores Ezran. He’s a bundle of joy, with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. Just like Erwin. In fact, he looks a lot like his father. Shares most of the same features. But his eyes. . . They’re a pale, dull blue just like Ena’s. Everything else is a copy of Erwin—as Hanji has said. Internally, she has agreed with them, but she refuses to say it is allowed. Ezran shouldn’t be compared to someone he doesn’t know. He doesn’t need that invisible pressure. Though, she hasn’t withheld stories of Erwin’s. . . accomplishments. She loves him, but she’s sure not to paint him in too good a light. He was immoral at times, and made their personal relationship rocky and uncertain, but a four year old didn’t need to know that. He just needed to know his dad was a hero before he was a man, and made raids like this possible. She stayed away from the fight, with Hanji and Onyankopon. She rocked Ezran, who was dozing off. He was such a sleepy baby, despite everything. He saw his first death tonight. Two little kids hopped onto the aircraft, and the smaller one shot Sasha. The commotion spooked Ena, and she ran to check. She couldn’t cover her son’s eyes in time. He saw Sasha’s limp body and everyone crying. He cried, too, much to his mother’s surprise. She expected him to gravely look down upon the dead body as if it meant nothing. It was in these minutes that she forgot her son was not his father. He still had his humanity. She held her son as he cried over his lost friend. Ena cried for another reason. ——— It’s all over. Eren sacrificed himself, and there are no more titans. Ezran and Ena are alive. Levi is alive. Hanji is not. It’s okay. Well, no, it’s actually not okay. Eren committed a mass genocide in seconds, leaving only a handful of people alive. She could rationalize it, however, because her baby boy was still alive. Though he had no intentions of killing him off, Ena recalled begging Eren on her knees in Paths to spare his life. “I don’t—he’s going to live,” Eren says, a promise in his tone. The blonde mother erupts in a new set of tears, pulling him into a hug. She couldn’t forgive him for that distanced, god complex he developed to trick Zeke, but this was a step in the right direction. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she chants, eyes blurry from the tears. If she couldn’t have Erwin, then she wanted her son. That’s all she remembers. But when it was wall over, the first thing she felt was Erzan running towards her with tears in his pale eyes. He couldn’t have understood this. She just reassures him that he’s okay, and that it’s all over now, though her leg is missing. It was chopped off before everyone went titan mode. She was okay with it being gone. Her son was okay, that’s all that mattered. She’ll explain it later, and as many times as he needs her to. But not in this moment, where she smiles and kisses his cheeks, mentally thanking Eren for being alive. Ezran is six years old. They live with Levi. He’s mainly confined to a wheelchair, so he needs help. With the help of Armin, Connie, and Jean, Ena was made a wooden prosthetic that is strapped to her hip. Her leg hurts most days, but she does her best to stay out of a wheelchair herself. Her son is so chatty, and he reads with an aptitude that even Armin can barely keep up with. His mind is a sponge, soaking up any information he can get his hand on. “Mama! I finished ‘A Wrinkle in Time’!” he called to her, holding out his copy. She wasn’t even halfway done. They talk about it, and she lets him spoil the ending for her, not wanting to stop his excitement. He looked so happy reciting his favorite parts of the book, she didn’t have the heart to stop him. “Mama, what are we going to read next?” She taps her chin, before shrugging. “We’ll ask Armin when he visits us later. I think it’s lunch time.” He

grabs her hands, pulling her into the kitchen. Ena puts her son on the counter so he can help. He stands, when her back is turned, and he nearly falls. She manages to dive and catch him at the last minute. She sighs, glad her reflexes are still working, before she begins tickling her son. “Be more careful, bug! You could have gotten hurt!” He squeals, trying to run from her. Pushing away from her didn’t stop her, and he couldn’t run far from her. He grabbed the first thing blindly, and pulled, not seeing until the last second it was her necklace. He gasps, looking down at the locket. He stops, prying open the heart. It was a picture of an older man, who looks just like him. It was the smallest drawing he’s ever seen. “Is this. . .” “Yeah, that’s your dad. Erwin Smith.” Ena sighed. Even with Ezran around, who looks like the spitting image of him, she still misses him. Sometimes, when she goes to bed at night, she dreams of Erwin meeting his son, and how happy he would be to see Ena’s dream. Once, she dreamed they got married, with little Ezran as the ring bearer. . . She sniffed, pulling Ezran onto her lap. She held him close, like letting him go would mean losing him forever. He didn’t seem to mind today, eyes on the locket. From what he could tell, it was drawn by that Horse Guy, whatever his name was. Gene, or Janet—it was hard to pronounce for the little guy. It was nice. For a moment, he thought: If I was like him, would Mama stop crying? It was only a whisper, before he turned to her with a question. “Can we go visit his grave today, mama? I need him to hear about the books I’ve read!” She thinks it over. When was the last time they both visited? Ena goes every other Saturday, but she only brings their son on rare occasions. With a content sigh, she nods. “Okay. We’ll go after Armin visits, okay?” She stands, offering him a hand. “Now, what did you want for lunch today, Ezran?”

[youllneverknowrac]

Oscar Diaz-Six

(MBS)

“I took the pill.” You complain to Oscar,”I told you we should have been using condoms.” You say and run you hand down your face in annoyance, Oscar standing there with a victorious smile,”You did this to me! Again!”

“If I remember correctly it takes two to make a baby.” He chuckles and places the positive pregnancy test down on the dresser,”You weren’t complaining about me not wearing a condom when I was hitting it the other day.”

“Ugh, shut up.” You groan and pull your hair into a messy bun,”You won, congratulations. I’m having another one of your kids.” You weren’t mad, you knew you could have been smarter in preventing yourself from getting pregnant but the truth was you hated what birth control did to your body and you did not like the way a condom felt. You were just annoyed that Oscar was going to rub this in your face forever,”You fucked yourself, because now we’re going to have three kids in our room, you get to explain that to Angel. He already hates sharing the bed with Alex.”

“Those two have a shared room upstairs, and their own beds. So by the time my little girl gets here they are going to be well trained on sleeping by themselves.” Oscar says simply,”They have a few more months left until we have to kick them out.”

“Girl? Ha!” You laugh as you throw one of the couch pillows at him,”I’m positive it’s another boy seeing as we’ve already done this five times.”

“Hormones already changing?” He teases as he lets the pillow hit him in the chest and fall to the ground,”How far along do you think you are with my princesa?”

“Oscar, I swear to you if I have to carry another one of your boys I’m getting my tubes tied.” You pout, ignoring his question

“Mami, you don’t have to worry. It’s a girl, it has to be.” He says as he walks over to you and pulls you into his arms,”Six kids, it’ll be more than perfect.”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see if your right. Probably not.”

“I will be, try and get an appointment in as fast as you can okay? I want to know how far along you are so we can start planning.”

“I can’t be more than eight weeks, I just took notice in my body changing, but who knows since you almost never manage to pull out in time.” You say smartly

“It’s harder than you think, and it’s not exactly what I’m focused on when I’m trying to finish.” He defends

“Whatever, your pull out game is weak. I’ve known this since you got me pregnant after the first time we ever did anything. Best five minutes of my life.”

“I was sixteen that does not count.” He laughs,”It was more like seven if you want to be technical.”

“You keep telling yourself that papi.” You say with a shake of your head,”Go pick up the kids from you brothers house, I’ll get dinner started. Looks like we got some big news to tell them.”

“Okay.” He says and pecks your lips,”Make sure you eat enough for my bebecita. She’s gonna have a appetite like her daddy.”

“Go away!” You laugh and lightly push him towards the front door,”I’m going to get the last laugh when we find out it’s most definitely not a girl.”

“Wanna bet money?” He challenges as he grabs his keys off the hook.

“Your money is my money, and my money is my money.” You grin

“Niña mimada.” He teases, giving you another kiss,”See you in a bit, love you.” He mutters against your mouth.

“I love you. Drive safe.” You say, not shutting the door until he’s in the car and out of the drive way.

~

“Mommy!” Angel says as runs into the house and hugs your leg tightly”I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You say and lower the heat on the final smothered pork chops you were making. The sides already done and waiting to be served,”Did you have fun at Uncle Cesar’s?” You ask him, the rest of your family coming in.

“Yeah! We stayed up all night and watched movies.”

“It was not all night. Angel passed out at 10.” Anthony replies amusingly before sending you a wave,”Hi mom.” He says, coming over to give you a side hug,”I’m gonna go put my stuff away.” He informs before heading up the stairs with his over night bag.

“I missed you mommy.” Carlos says, his turn to hug you now,”It smells really good, did you make macaroni?” He asks with a toothy grin.

“Yup. There’s also mashed potatoes and cheesy broccoli.” You tell him as you run your fingers through his hair,”So go upstairs and put your things away, the food will be ready in a few minutes.”

“You got it.” He says, giving you one more squeeze before taking off.

You pick up Angel, checking on the food one last time before heading to the living room, Junior and Oscar in conversation as your husband holds Alexander,”Too old to come say hi to your mom?” You say to your eldest, who was home for the weekend like always. So you were a bit sad when he decided to go over to Cesar’s last night since you only had limited time with him.

“Never.” He grins, towering over you as he gives you a big embrace,”Missed you mom.”

“Hm, what did you get up to last night?” You ask, knowing that out of all of your kids he was the closest with his uncle. Only because they were so close in age and you all lived together up until Cesar hit legal age and moved out.

“Nothing.” He shrugged,”Just chilled with Cesar.”

“Uncle Cesar.” Angel corrects him

“Yeah, yeah, Uncle Cesar.” He chuckles,”Smells good mom, like always.” He compliments, grabbing his own bag as well as the bag that you packed for the two little ones,”I’ll take it to their room.”

“Thank you.” You smile and turn to your husband,”Did your brother say anything about Alex?”

“Just that he was stuck on Monse’s hip all night. Only wanted to be fed, changed, and put to bed by her.”

“Ladies man.” You laugh and swap kids with Oscar, pressing a kiss to your still bald babies head.

“Just like his daddy.” Oscar says amusingly

“Excuse me?” You say with a raised eyebrow,”We’ve been together since we were teenagers. You were never a ladies man. I’m your only lady.”

“I had game before you. That’s how I pulled you so easily.”

“You were trying to get at me since I was 12, I didn’t cave till I was 15.” You respond knowingly, the two of you heading into the dining room so you can sit the boys down in their individual chairs,”And the two girls you did try to show off to make me jealous we’re not even on my level papi.”

“I was still pulling though.” He chuckles as he secures Alexander in the high chair.

“Yeah so was I, remember Javier Gomez? He was in your grade...He was why I didn’t give you the time of the day.” You smirk, Oscar knowing about the little crush you had many years ago.

“Man, you always got to bring him up.” Oscar says with a smack of his lips,”You should have married him if you liked him that much.”

You quickly fix Angel’s hair after he’s in the booster, tying it back in his usual curly ponytail,”See that was my plan.” You start, going to the kitchen to serve the plates,”But another tattooed, muscle shirt wearing cholo got my attention and ended up trapping me with a baby.”

“More like you trapped me.” Oscar says, pressing himself behind you as you put food on all of the plates,”You climbed onto me, we were suppose to be watching tv.” He reminds, pressing a small kiss to the side of your neck, his hands wrapping around you and resting on your stomach,”Now here we are, 20 years later with almost six kids.”

You grin and lean back into him,”Hmh.” You hum, grabbing two of the finished plates and turn around so he can take them to the table,”I’m sure Javier would have given me my daughter by now.” You say, shoving the plates towards him.

“Alright I’m sorry, I was never a ladies man. Please stop bringing his ass up.” Oscar says as he grabs the items with a pout.

You smile and peck his cheek,”Fine, now go put those down and come back for more.”

Oscar nods and does as you say,”Come eat!” You shout, serving more plates as Oscar takes them to the table when they’re ready.

“Thanks mom!” Anthony says as he zooms past you and to his usual seat.

“Mac and cheese!” Carols cheers as he does the same.

“Thanks for cooking.” Junior smiles and takes the last plate to the table for you. You grab the pitcher of water and bring it over to the table, sitting down as you all begin to eat. Alexander just eating the mashed potatoes with his hands, the only thing you served him along with his bottle of milk.

After while when most of the kids are near finished you clear your throat to grab their attention,”So, I have some news. Well me and your dad do.” You start

“Oh god, your pregnant again aren’t you?” Junior guesses,”I’ve been through this conversation four times and you always start it off like that.”

“Three times for me.” Anthony chimes in before taking the final bite off of his plate.

“Are you mommy? Are you having another baby?”Carlos asks excitedly

“Well yes, thanks for that Junior.” You laugh,”I took a test this morning so I don’t know how far along I am exactly.”

“Hey, I’m just saying. I’m use to this.” He shrugs,”Still, congratulations mom. Dad, glad to see your not getting too old.” He jokes as he stands up with his dishes, taking his younger brothers as well.

“You’re not to gown to get smacked around fool.” Oscar jokes as he tosses his balled up napkin at him, Junior laughing as he goes to rinse off the plates.

“Baby?” Angel says, confusion etched on to his face,”Alex is baby.”

“Yes he is a baby, and now mommy has another baby in her belly.” You explain

“Two babies?” He asks with furrowed brows

“Yes, two babies.” You confirm

“No thank you mommy. No more babies.” He decides with a shake of his head

“Well it’s too late for that mijo.” Oscar chuckles, reaching over with a new napkin to clean off Alexander.

“No more brothers.” Angel disagrees

“What if it’s a girl? A sister?” You ask him as you stand up to let him out of his booster chair.

“Yeah! A sister.” Anthony and Carlos say with glee.

“Girl?” Angel repeats, thinking it over,”Okay mommy. Only baby sister, no brother.”

“Let’s hope you’re right.” You laugh and let him run away after setting him down, the other two boys getting up and joining him in the living room to play with the LEGO’s.

“So is this the last one?” Junior asks, coming back for more plates

“See I want to say no, but seeing as all of you guys -besides Alex- were surprises I’m just going to say maybe.”

“It would have been cool if you could have had a baby closer to my age.” Junior says as he takes your plate along with Oscar’s.

“Are you crazy? We were too young and besides we had Cesar to take care of too. He’s practically your hermano.” Oscar answers as he gets up with the baby.

“Still.” Junior shrugs, heading over to the kitchen again to empty his hands.

“Besides you got to enjoy us all by your self, and I got to enjoy my first baby.” You say and bump his side with yours playfully.

“I guess your right.” He smiles as he cleans,”It was fun, sometimes I wish we could go back to the old house and relive the days when it was just us and Cesar.”

“It was fun. I miss it too sometimes.” You admit,”But the future is always better, at least for us it was and is...I’ll finish up. Go study or get some work done.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, go.” You nod and take over, Oscar going ahead and putting Alexander in the bath.

It doesn’t take too long until the kitchen is once again spotless, sending Carlos and Anthony up stairs to get ready for bed. Angel following you into the bedroom,”I take shower with you.” He says, already pulling off his t-shirt and putting it into the hamper.

“Okay.” You laugh, the two of you walking into the bathroom to find Oscar drying off the baby,”All clean?”

“All clean.” He reply’s, reaching for the lotion and lathering up Alex from head to toe.

You don’t reply and run the water, Angel getting completely undressed and running over to his potty chair that sat in the corner.

“All done.” He says aloud, you already in the shower and Oscar dressing Alex.

“Hurry up, before the water gets out.” You urge, pushing open the glass door and letting him step in with you. The two of you taking a quick shower before getting out and drying off. Angel leaving to his room to grab his pajamas and a night pull up.

“You look like your already showing.” Oscar says from where he lays on the bed, Alexander already asleep on his chest.

“I’m just fat.” You laugh as you walk over to the closet, pulling on a over sized tee and a pair of underwear,”I’ve always had this belly.”

“Nah, I know your body. That’s definitely a pregnant belly.” He chuckles, a now dressed Angel coming back into the room and closing the door behind him.

“Scoot over daddy.” He sighs,”You knew I was coming.”

“My fault.” Oscar reply’s, scooting over to his side so Angel could lay in the middle. You shake your head and turn the light off, sliding in the bed and turning some cartoons on for him to fall asleep too.

“I can fit the baby right here.” Oscar informs you, patting his chest,”If it comes down to it.”

“Be quiet.” You laugh

“Sólo estoy diciendo la verdad.”

“We can not co-sleep with three kids. So like I said earlier, you better have these two in their own room by the time this thing inside of me gets here.”

“Yes mam.” Oscar says teasingly,”I can do that easily.”

“It’ll be a walk in the park.” You say sarcastically, already knowing that this was not going to be a easy task to complete. Nothing in your life being a easy task to complete when it came to your family,”I’ll call the doctor in the morning, I’m sure she can schedule me in sometime this week.” You add, referring to the same doctor that you used for all of your kids.

“Just let me know, I’ll try to call off of work.” Oscar says happily.

“Okay.” You yawn, your mind still processing that you were once again creating another human life. That the love between you and Oscar already blossomed 5 amazing boys. That you guys had enough love left to be able to give it one more go. Even if it wasn’t exactly planned on your part you knew that baby was going to bring much more joy into your family’s life. Your lucky little six.

[helahades]

the sexiest wip list

alright! reminder that this is a dark fic blog. dark fics are not just noncon, but uncomfortable subject matter and questionable thought processes and unreliable povs. control your media experience and read warnings carefully! they’ll be updated when the actual story releases, but these are wips, and i don’t know them all bc I simply have not finished these stories!

some darker warnings on this list include: threats of sexual violence, obsession, death, and previously mentioned unreliable povs from obsessive characters who justify themselves.

final reminder to read warnings! some of these are intense.

1) Jealous Thor (Untitled)

warnings: cheating, mean!reader, angst

You’re falling for Steve right under his nose. Each day, Thor feels you pull farther away. Each night, he squeezes his eyes shut as you lie asleep next to him, and tries to forget the way you lookat Steve these days with hunger and adoration that you once gave to him.

“He is earthly. For all his body’s and mind’s possession of unnatural experimental growth, he is earthly and limited, so Thor can’t understand why you’re drawing away from him, and telling Steve the jokes, giving Steve all the looks that had him hooked. The lingering eyes and touches… they ride the line of decency.”

—

2) Heimdall Angst (Untitled)

warnings: major character death, grief, existentialism, out of body experiences

Connected by incredible wisdom and duty to fate, you and The Gatekeeper of Asgard are pulled together by the unique pairing of your mutual seeing abilities—made for greatness, and destined for tragedy.

This story stretches from the moment that catalyzes your meeting, across the years of loving him, to the moment you lose him.

“A fateful tragedy. He sees an arrow through a dove.

He wonders how he missed your encounter with him in the whispers of the cosmos.

“—They’re star deaths,” you say abruptly, “the ones that move and change color. They speed up when you watch them—show their whole life to come...I read about them. Most can’t ever see them life this”.

Turning to where you stand beside him, his eyes swirl with the magic of knowing you, of your destinies combined. He sees you stare at his stars like they’re new.

“Only us.”

—

3) Away from the Party - Steve Smut

warnings: smut, dubcon, roughness, manipulation, unintentional exhibition

Steve hates these parties. After a mission, the work has just begun, and he fumes at the impossible way that Tony covers all problems in diamonds and pearls. Some things aren’t meant to be pretty.

You are. You’re soft, and kind, and you coax him gently away from the party—the source of his frustrations, with promises of leaving early, of calming down. Oh. He’ll calm down. And you’re just the toy to help. In a closet a corner away from the government’s finest, America’s golden boy has a hand on your throat and one demand.

“Keep quiet.”

“Of course, you both ended up at the party anyway, but with you swirling cool fingertips at his aching temples and rubbing softly over the stretch marks on his chest, he couldn’t find anything in heart to disagree with you then.

Even now with his erection pressed to you through barriers of clothing, with scarcely retrained and monstrous lust, he is steadily calmed by your presence. This rush, the secrecy—it excites him. And you pull him through the haze of it.”

—

4) Monster Thor Headcanons

warnings: wound and gore descriptions, some sadness

The fantasy of it all. Aesthetic, Lifestyle, Behavior. Some talking points include: hair, horns, hints about how he was influenced by a soft and charming lover many years ago, general horniness. Also spoiler that I’ve decided that He is 8ft tall

“Thor is...ancient. he is a being of war and folklore and raw energy and he’s earthy and elemental and connected. and form follows function. (and also whatever horny thoughts we want )”

—

5) The Call

warnings: voyeurism, death threats, obsession, implied sexual assault threats

When Frank comes to visit you, you beam like a sunflower. You’ve rearranged your room, and you’re excited about it. He would like to revel in the moment with you...but he’s caught up in one detail. Your bed is pushed against the window...and he can’t convince you to let him move it.

After a night of sin and wild lovemaking, you lie asleep bathed in moonlight, and Frank wakes to a call. Billy. He’s set up on a rooftop miles away, and he’s got things to say about Frank’s girl and what he’d like to do to her. A red dot on his chest means he can only listen. To your gentle snoring, and to the twisted fantasy of a brother unhinged.

“Black silk pajamas. Hair wrapped up in satin. Yellow light almost like sun stretches to the ceiling, but not quite over the rolling hills of your silhouette turned away from him in quiet sleep.

Frank’s hardly got the time to wonder why he’s awake, because his phone buzzes slow again. Pulls the moment he realizes he will have to break this magic peace to molasses and he half fills his lungs before huffing it out and flipping the phone open and tucked between his ear and shoulder.

“What.”

“She’s a reaaaaal pretty one, Frankie boy. You sure know how to pick em.”

—

6) Loki Longing (Untitled)

warnings: pregnant!fem reader, angst

On the Eve of the birth of Asgard’s heir, Thor is away. In a bath of flowers and magic to ease your pain, maidens worry over you, and Loki rescues you away, letting you rest in bed, and dreaming of the days when you were his lover instead.

“I’d like to rest…in my bed now, please.”

The ladies look to each other. It hasn’t been long enough for the herbs to take effect.

“My Queen,” the eldest starts—

“She is certainly your queen,” a silky silver timbre interrupts, “I’ve learned it’s best to mind her.”

His eyes fall to your form, and some blocked conflict—some guarded affection rests there. Some longing tucked in a pocket like an impossible secret.

—

7) With Child - Obsessive Steve

warnings: pregnant!fem reader, obsessive Steve

Watching you content, and very pregnant, as you gaze adoringly at your husband Thor from where you rest, half in his lap, Steve can’t help but fantasize. He thinks about impregnating you, the mechanics of sex with a pregnant woman, and being the god who does it all.

“Do you have to lie on your side? Is Thor just behind you, spooning you, fucking with desperate thrusts because you drive him so crazy this way? Steve has heard—and he doesn’t know where—that women get wetter when with child. Steve can’t help but wonder...does Thor need to hold one leg up for you—to save your back that’s so often heavy with the weight of supporting his legacy?”

—

8) Dean’s Girl

warnings: unreliable pov (john), voyeurism, masturbation + voyeurism

John notices the way you avoid him. You always seem to leave a room just as he’s coming into it. He’s living in the bunker now, and having to realize a lot of things that have changed for the both of his sons.

For example, his oldest, the last he’d ever think would fall in love, has got a pretty girl that dismisses her practical father in law with pointed boredom. She’s protective—how can he blame her after all that he’d put Dean through?

She’s pretty, and John is only a man, and can’t stop himself from just...looking. It starts with a convenient bend as she unloads the dishwasher...then he..can’t help that the door was open and she happened to be changing right there. He also can’t help it the next time when he’s just a little too obvious, pleasuring himself to the smell of her pretty lace panties.

—

9) Operator, Operator - Steve Smut

warnings: smut, financial troubles?, mentions of creepiness against and danger to sex workers, exhibitionism via phone call

Underpaid and overworked, you along with your roommate/secret crush/ best friend Steve have trouble making ends meet on minimum wage + his art commissions. When you start picking up calls on a phone sex line, he’s able to reason. It’s quick cash, and Steve is mature enough to keep his thoughts appropriate...at first.

One day, he wakes to the sound of breathy moans and a faked orgasms. He wonders how you would sound if only you were high on real pleasure...and there’s no time like the present. Don’t hang up. This call has only just started.

“By the time this year—junior year—swung around, Steve realized he was only catching glimpses of you. He would hear the shake of your keys when you tossed them on the counter, your backpack when it thudded to the floor, and most recently—your moans.

You must not know he’s home. Ever since you started online sex work, specifically being a phone sex operator, you seemed to also make the silent choice that more graphic calls would be saved for when he’s not around.

He gets it. You both split the rent, and Steve has done jobs he’d rather not mention in desperate times, when commissions came short. Still, sometimes you can’t tell when he’s here, and despite his best efforts to push down his arousal, to tell himself you’re his best friend...he’s an artist, and he can’t help but listen, and certainly not the wandering of his imagination.”

—

10) Professor Steve Medfet - (Untitled)

In an alternate timeline, a washed up Steve Rogers starts a new life in a run down city as an art / anatomy teacher. A class of hungry college students is filled to the brim each year, expecting the unspoken promise of their favorite hands on lab. You.

You keep his class sated, in turn giving the professor job security for funding his simple life out of the public eye. Each year when he calls, you come. Each year the students find a new way to tear you embarrass and degrade, much to the pleasure of the professor.

“Same speech. Same meaningless words. Focusing on the stillness of your skin and how it feels to be alone, you can almost drown out the way his tone edges toward excitement, the way the chairs shift and squeak—the anticipation.

Pretending your heart doesn’t send heat and cold flashes through you and run your breathing shallow, you look at the nicks in the door and try to guess their stories.

But then the metal frame clicks, the door unlatches. Professor Rogers wears a gentle smirk. It doesn’t ease your mind one bit.”

—

11) Swelter - Forest God Thor

warnings: sexual scenes, time limited conflict, religious themes

With a sickness overtaking nearby villages, yours is next, and has decided to sacrifice you to the cause of foraging for preventative herbs. You venture into the ancient woods after a rare vine of flowers, but leave with much more after encountering Thor.

After disturbing him where he lies cooling in the bank of a stream, you vow to prove the true intention of your soul—that you aren’t a hunter, or witch after his form or faculty, but a pious girl, also needing to escape the heat.

“You’re in the old woods now, and aside from the trees and the mossy nature tangled around them, there is only Him. Thor.

God of the harvest, bringer of land’s wealth, fertility, and vitality. You know of the sacrifices, of the woods where He is rumored to live in an unseen form, of livid white fire in the sky if He is severely displeased.

His name must not be spoken outside of prayer or ritual, and even now, you stutter to think it, and wonder if you are alone in your thoughts.”

[...]

“The frustration and the fear in your dilemma disturb the air, disquieting the otherwise enduring peace of the old woods, which rouses a large form in the cool muddy bank of the stream. It is only leaves shifting at first. Faded pumpkin and dried oak scatter—and suddenly the air smells like rain and your mouth sets around the tastes of copper and sage. Then, the leaves tumble off of a beast of a mass that rises slowly, and you note that it felt like the atmosphere changed to accommodate its awakening.”

—

12) Halloween Party - Thor Smut (Untitled)

warnings: smut, heartbreak, depressed!reader

An exclusive and mysterious Halloween party is still on this year—and you’re invited. It’s meant to be so extravagant and flashy an Avenger will one day attend, and all attendees decorate themselves in costumes inspired by the heroes, hoping to be noticed.

Fresh after a breakup with your boyfriend Brock, you take one half of the preordered couples costume and dress up as a goddess, determined to have a good night with your friends, find some excitement, and most importantly, a new god to match.

“Standing solemn, floor to ceiling windows allow in a few milky rays reflected by the moon, but they’re all the gems of your bodice need to gleam to a suitor's eye. Tonight, while you plan to rid your soul of another, you are welcomed with open arms and careful consideration as the final offering at an altar. You are seen by a god.”

—

13) Grief

warnings: dead!reader, guilt, grief, scary science, how do i say this... smut that is borderline necroph—there’s a replica of you, dark!steve, tony lives, pepper dies

Steve’s world is upside down. He’s lost the light of his life, and is completely in the dark. Luckily for him, Tony is back in the business of reality rejecting technology, and has found a way for him to be with you again.

At an abandoned cottage, Steve brings an armful of your scents to give the Tony’s invention sensory data, and faces the strange reality of what’s always been his worst stage...his worst trait. Denial.

“Dozens of test bottles full of manufactured scents, the kind of thing you smell borrowing a sweater, or with your face in the crook of someone’s neck. Essentially, the sort of organic thing that cannot be recaptured.

Steve’s got an armful of perfume and body wash. Of conditioner and deodorant, of all the elements he can think that make you smell the way you would—the way you do.

He wills the thoughts to be present tense. If he pretends you are alive, maybe it will look like it is you only sleeping. He wonders how well Tony knows the texture of your hair suddenly, because if it isn’t right, the experience will fall to shambles. It currently walks a plank over shambles. One wrong interpretation or surprise, and Steve will find himself spinning and burning with the fall into a new and uncharted taboo.”

14) Night Drive - Dean Smut

warnings: road head

On a long overnight drive, your back pressed into the seat of the impala makes you miss lying in bed with your lover, makes you miss his gentle caress right next to you...so you remind him how good it is to be close.

“You think about it when he hums a little tune. When he hums the song he wishes would play and thinks will come up next, it is eerily soft, and eerily similar to the soft contentment he sighs when you kiss on his neck.

When he reaches for your hand to hold, it makes you consider the shortness of the distance between you, and you think of pulling his cock out right here, giving him head that melts him here on this endless road.

Looking at him, he senses your interest—he turns his head to meet your eyes, throws up a grin of boyish charm. He’s happy to be here with you. These night drives are fine. He’s never minded them. But they’re even lovelier when in your company.”

—

15) Shadow - The Bucky Mystery

warnings: stalking, injury, sexual assault, canon typical hydra torture, mentions of bucky being forced to assault people, traumatized reader

On the run from Hydra, there aren’t many things that Bucky can remember. Inside his mind, there aren’t many feelings that make sense. Mostly, he feels guilt. Horror.

Following you to the gym where you practice ballet alone in the nights is all that makes sense, and for reasons he can’t explain, he feels drawn to you.

As time goes on, Bucky feels more enticed by his desire, you start to feel eyes staring from the walls, motivations and traumas are revealed, and in a horrible symphony, you both remember your connection.

“He’s a matte shadow against the noir shine of metal walls—an observer in the unlit quiet on his side of the room.

And he feels his unimportance. It’s humbling. Holds up the room like chunky beams and high rafters, dressed in the same layered neutrals. Framing the same cotton candy dancer, silent as the pad of her slippers when she turns her weight onto a straight leg, other coming up with her ankle pointed to the bend of her knee.

She spins, she spins and she whips her head around with each one, but it’s Bucky who gets dizzy.”

send an ask with any questions, or for more details about a particular story!