#she has had high blood pressure almost her whole life

[topguncortez]

f you’re still doing prompts : jake and shy wifey !

please. make me feel good. no one else can like you.

❛ you're mine, and i take care of what belongs to me. ❜

Body Love || Jake Seresin x Shy!Wifey

opposites attract masterlist || main masterlist

synopsis: Y/N has been having a hard time feeling confident since the births of her twins. Jake is determined to make her remember how beautiful she is.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: smutty-ish, cursing, negative self talk, mentions of c-sections

note: lmao not me going back to my graduation challenge requests. but think of this as a soft launch before whumptober gets started

She was doing it again. Jake had caught her doing it several times in the past couple of days. That look in her eye told him that what she was looking at, she didn’t like what she was seeing in the mirror. She furrowed her eyebrows as she touched her cheeks gently, poking at the skin on her face. Jake tried his hardest to stay out of sight to watch her. 

Y/N was gorgeous. She was the most gorgeous girl that Jake had ever laid eyes on. Her body had changed a lot over the years from age, and carrying five of the most beautiful kids that Jake had ever seen in his life. Her thighs were a bit bigger, her stomach not as flat as it used to be, her breasts weren’t as perky, and her hair had some grays in it, all small changes of age and being a mother. But the scar that sat on her lower abdomen was the most noticeable to her. The scar wasn’t there a year ago, but it was now a permanent reminder of probably the worst day of her life. 

The pregnancy and birth of Jasper and Maxwell Seresin had been anything but easy. Throughout the whole thing, Y/N was having problems with her blood pressure. One moment it was too high, and the next it would be too low. She had tried her best to remain as stress-free as possible, but it was hard with a naval aviator for a husband and three other kids running around the house. A c-section was the last thing she wanted, but when it came down to a life-or-death situation, Y/N agreed to it. The scar reminded her of the moment when she almost lost her babies. She didn’t like it, but Jake loved it. 

He loved every single mark on her tummy. Whenever they were intimate, Jake would kiss every single stretch mark on her tummy, sending flutters through her body. But they hadn’t been that intimate since Jasper and Maxwell were born nearly a year ago. Y/N never liked to take her shirt off anymore when they would have sex. She would hardly show herself when they would get dressed in the morning, she’d either step into the closet or the bathroom. They didn’t shower or bathe together like they once did, in fact, she went as far as locking the door whenever she did to deter Jake from entering. 

Jake didn’t like being iced out like this. He had spent years trying to break down her walls, to get her to let him. She slowly opened up to him, and gradually built up that confidence to let him know everything about her, to let him truly see her. But now, it felt like he had moved ten steps backward. 

He sighed and pushed off the wall he was leaning on, as he watched Y/N lift her shirt gently and run her fingertips over the scar. She looked at the reflection of the scar in the mirror and frowned at it. Jake walked up behind her, and placed his hands on her hips, causing her to jump at the action. Y/N tried to push her shirt back down to cover the scar, but he stopped her. 

“Why do you hide this from me?” Jake asked, looking at the scar in the mirror. He gently ran his thumb over the skin and leaned his head into the crook of her neck. 

“I don’t like it,” She answered, “I hate seeing it. It’s ugly.” 

“Yeah, but it reminds you of how much of a champion you are,” Jake said, and placed his lips on her skin, “Shows the sacrifice that you made to bring your babies into the world.” 

“They were cut out of me,” She sniffled and looked away from the scar. “My last babies and I didn’t even actually give birth to them.” 

“Stop that, yes you did,” Jake turned her body, so she was facing him. He gently lifted her head up, “You gave birth to Jasper and Maxwell. It wasn’t how you wanted it to be, but you still did it. It still means something.” 

“Why have you stayed with me?” Y/N asked him honestly, looking up at his big green eyes. She could see the heartbreak in his eyes the moment the words left her mouth, “I-I’m not as pretty, or as confident or as smart as some of the girls you used to bring around the Hard Deck. So, why did you choose me? Why did you stay with me?” 

“I stayed with you because you didn’t throw yourself at me, or any of the other pilots that walked into there. I chose you because you are a kind, gentle, old soul, who would rather stay home and eat strawberry cupcakes and watch Bob Ross paint ‘happy little trees’ instead of going out and getting piss drunk,” Jake explained, “I chose you, because when I saw you. . . I saw my whole future. I saw our wedding, I saw our first house, our first deployment, our kids, that huge ass flower garden you made me plant and sat by sipping on lemonade looking as good as a Sin on Sunday,” Y/N chuckled at his words. Jake caressed her cheek, and kissed both of them, before grabbing both her hands, 

“If I could go back in time to the night that we first met, I would choose you, over and over,” Jake said and kissed her lips. 

“Even though I look like this now,” She gestured to her body. 

“Especially when you look like this,” Jake said. Y/N let out a gasp as Jake quickly turned them, and placed her on the bed. He climbed on top of her, and looked down at her body, “God damn, you look so fucking sexy. You looked sexy then, and you look sexy now. Your body has changed in the most delicious ways.” Jake pressed his hips into hers, and her eyes widened at the feeling of his semi-hard cock, “I get hard just thinking about you. Thinking about your ass, your thighs, your tits, your tummy.” 

He moaned as his hands grazed the sides of her stomach, “Your tummy. . . fuck, it has to be my favorite place. I love it. I love seeing it stretch and grow with my kids.” Jake pushed the shirt that she was wearing up underneath her boobs, and started placing kisses down her sternum, to her belly.

“Please Jake,” Y/N panted. 

“You don’t realize how crazy you drive me,” Jake shook his head, climbing back up her body, and placing kisses on her neck, “Fuck sometimes I feel like a fucking teenager, getting instantly hard when you walk into a room.” He pushed his hips against hers, his hard-on straining against his joggers. 

“Show me,” Y/N whispered, grabbing his face in her hands, “Show me what I do to you. Make me feel good.” 

“Yeah?” He asked, green eyes peering down at her, a hint of mischief in them, “You want me to make you feel good?” Jake’s hand slowly worked down her body, until he was cupping her covered pussy in his hand. Y/N nodded her head frantically, shamelessly grinding against his hand. He was hardly even touching her, and she was begging for him, “What do you want from me, Y/N? Tell me.” 

“Your fingers, in me.” 

“Like this?” Jake asked, feigning innocence as he slipped his hand down the front of the boxer shorts she was wearing. His fingers expertly parted her, sliding through her slick and gently into her. Y/N’s head tilted back with a loud moan. 

“Yes,” Y/N moaned as Jake’s fingers curled in and out of her, his lips sucking gently at her neck, “No one else can make me feel good like you do.” Jake nodded his head, pulling his fingers out of her and gently circling her clit, “Fuck, Jake.” 

“So naughty for me,” Jake chuckled against her skin, “I love it when you curse.” 

“I love it when you touch me,” Y/N said back, her hand reaching down to palm him through his pants. She pressed her lips against his, her free hand gripping the back of his neck and playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. Jake’s hips bucked into her hand, as his tongue slipped into her mouth. 

“Jake,” Y/N cried out, as his fingers slipped back into her, curling them against that sweet spot, “Make me cum, please.” “Don’t worry baby,” Jake cooed, grabbing her hand and pinning it above her. She whined at the loss of pleasure from him, “You’re mine and I take care of what belongs to me.”

taglist: @damrlova @phoenix138 @mygyn @cherrycola27 @seitmai @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox @atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell @bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore @angelbabyange @dempy @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @callsignartemis @starberryhorse @daggersquadphantom @gspenc @poppyalice2001 @els-marvelvsp @nyx2021 @t0kyoreveng3rs @frazie99 @spencvrr @kmc1989 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @malindacath @justenoughmadnesss @sagittarius-flowerchild @hardballoonlove @harrysgothicbitch @hookslove1592 @noonenuts @marvellouscroissant @senawashere @bradshawsprincess @alwayshave-faith

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[nei-ning]

No offensive, but I don’t get my mom most of the times in these days anymore. After she started to be with her current boyfriend (like 10 years ago) it seems like she just has become more dumb - pretty much the same what and how HE is as well. More under the cut since this is a bit “long” post.

When mom comes to visit me once every day (because she spends all her time at his place otherwise), first thing what she does is go to the fridge and eat. Eat, eat and eat some more. Those few hours what she’s with me, most of it she spends on eating.

I honestly have asked from her: Is she starving herself at his place? Isn’t he letting her eat? What she eats per day? All this because I have faint memory of mom telling me years ago how this guy, while being drunk, had nagged at mom about it how much she eats. What comes to her eating at his place, she just says: “Oh, but I have eat! I ate oatmeal in the morning, during the day I drank a cup of coffee, at the afternoon I ate few slices of bread. (or few potatoes with tiny bit of sauce)”

I have told her many times THAT’S NOT ENOUGH and that she needs to eat! At least 2-3 warm meals per day! Especially since she has diabetes (mom has had it for decades but it doesn’t give her any symptoms like dizziness etc.) she needs to watch her eating.

Also, some weeks ago mom showed me her toenails and, my GOD! Big nails were brown, other nails lighter brown, her nameless- and little toes’ nails being VERY thick and yellow! And the SMELL! OH GOD, THE SMELL!! That horrible stink lingered in the house for HOURS after she left back to her boyfriend’s! She’s literally rotting and she doesn’t notice or care! (she has other health issues as well which she just hasn’t taken care of)

I told her she, with 100%, has nail fungus and that she NEEDS TO get them treated! Properly! (Note: I watch a lot of professionals’ videos about pimple popping, nail fungus etc. on Youtube. My favorites are Enilsa Brown and Toe Bro, just few to mention).

For ONCE she listened to me, calling to a hospital she needs to see a podiatrist. You can’t get appointment otherwise. Mom is still waiting for her call.

Now, I don’t know what kind of professional this new lady is (hopefully great!) but the previous one who mom visited years ago... I question her a lot since she had told mom that she DOESN’T need any treatment! Like why?! She had nail fungus back then already!

And then mom... She is a person who always listens doctors etc. bending in their will instantly instead of standing up for herself, demanding treatments - like she should had done with that first podiatrist. Tell her she NEEDS and WANTS her toenails to be treated - because NOTHING was done to her toenails. No trimming, lotion, meds, nothing!

So, I really hope this new lady takes mom and her nail fungus seriously, helping mom to get rid of them.

[loving-barnes]

LOGAN HOWLETT - WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY

A/N: Here comes chapter FOUR! Oh wow. It's easier when I do this for fun. I don't feel that much pressure to write and put it out regularly. I think the pace of releasing new chapters will slow down soon, but I hope to finish this at least the way I want to.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

Warning: violence, blood

Summary: In Salem, Logan and Y/N have the opportunity to save the boy.

Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story is suitable for mature audience.

Words: 5200+

Important note: Again, Logan is a tall MF, because they fucked up in the movies. Also, Hugh Jackman!Wolverine.

A TOUCH OF HOPE MASTERLIST | Chapter Three

LOGAN HOWLETT - WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY

The sky turned dark blue, and the moon showed high up. Y/N’s eyes were locked on it, watching as it illuminated the whole world. She found nights to be her favourite - calm, peaceful. Everyone’s soul would rest as their heads would travel into the dreamland. Then again, sleeping was difficult and unpleasant when nightmares entered uninvited.

“What happened today?” Logan brought her back to reality with the question. “Why the tears?” 

She exhaled, annoyed by that question. “I talked with the Professor,” she said, not looking at him. “He told me about slipping from Cerebro. And I know you know.” 

His eyes never left the road. “I know. We all do. He didn’t tell us why it kept happening.” 

Y/N turned her head to him and observed his focused face. His hands were resting on the steering wheel. “He discovered the reason.” Logan looked at her for a brief moment. “It has to do with my mutation. In his words, it is all about protection. Somehow, it shields my brain from telepaths or any mind infiltration.” 

“I thought he read your mind,” he was confused. 

“He did,” she nodded. “Until he couldn’t again. My mind decides for itself, it seems. One moment, you can come in and have a peak, and then, the doors close, and you are left standing outside in the cold.” 

“You’ll figure it out.” 

“I already figured out other things. I am dumb and naive,” Y/N scoffed. “That realisation hurt like a bitch.” 

His eyes were back on her. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? You are not any of those things.” 

She had to laugh. “Oh, if you only knew how many stupid things I did in the past. You’d then know that I am right.” 

“We all make stupid things,” he commented. “I have my own fair share of them.” 

Y/N shifted in her seat and turned her body to see him better. “Ah, will I learn something new about you?” she narrowed her eyes. 

“Only if you tell me more about your stupidity,” he grimaced at her. 

The smile disappeared from her face, and she lowered her eyes. The gear lever became more fascinating than anything else around. “My ex-boyfriend sold me to the lab,” she said timidly. 

“What?” his foot pressed on the break, the car coming to a halt. There was a stop sign that he almost didn’t see. “What the fuck?” He turned left on another road and continued driving to Salem. 

“I was barely nineteen when he found me and gave me a roof and food. He, Mars, was the leader of the group - Void.” She wasn’t ready to tell the story out loud. The fear of him judging her would be unbearable. Charles was sympathetic. Not a hit of judgement came out of his voice. Maybe Logan would be the same? “I’ve spent there almost four years before it went to shit.”

“Void? It sounds like Magneto’s ‘Brotherhood’,” Logan stated. 

“The Void consisted of mutants and humans. It was basically a criminal group. We would steal money, cars and do all sorts of shit,” she shook her head. “I am not proud of that part of  my life.” 

“What happened?” he was curious. 

Y/N huffed and closed her eyes. “Mars, such a weird name, could hypnotise people, manipulate them as he liked. He was a mutant. I didn’t know about it. Many of us didn’t. He used it to his advantage. He would force people to do things for him, even torture innocent people.

“At this point, I cannot be sure what was my own doing and what was his. All I know is he had me in the palms of his hands. It took some sweet nothings and a little attention, and this bitch,” she pointed at herself,  “fell for him.”

“So, you were in love,” Logan said after a while. 

“I think, I don’t know. Let’s say I was, but it was one-sided. Mars used me, used my power to protect him. He gave me some attention and fell for it.” She bit her lower lip, nervousness spreading over her body. “During that time with him, I did unspeakable things.” 

Logan noticed it was difficult to talk about that part. She twiddled her thumbs. “Why did he sell you to the lab?”

Y/N scratched her nape. “When I found out that he was a mutant and what was his ability - yes, it took me four years - I wanted to run away and never look back. Of course, being the stupidly brave woman I am, I went to confront him. Mars was one step ahead of me.

“The last thing I remember was hands holding me tight, pulling me away from him. They got me off guard and injected me with a drug. When I gained consciousness, I was locked in a cell. And thus started my five-year life as a lab rat, moved at least seven times around the country.” 

“Damn,” said Logan. 

“Dumb, blind, naive - that’s all I can say about myself. Lessons were learned. I thought about killing him, you know? A person like him doesn’t deserve to live. Who knows how many girls he had used since he sold me?” 

“If you had the chance, would you?” Logan asked, curious to know the answer to that. 

It took her a minute to admit it. “Yes. I would.” She reached into the pocket of her jeans and took out a black hair elastic. Her hands worked fast, and she brushed her hair into a bun. Some strands framed her face.  When her eyes found Logan staring at her, she gave him a faint smile. “You must think I’m crazy.”

“Not at all,” he admitted. “I’d do the same thing. Hell, I did it in the past. I killed people who used me and betrayed me. The list of people whose life I ended is long. I promised myself I’d never kill again. I quickly realised that’s not how it works in this world.” 

“You’d do anything to survive,” she added after that. “I did. You know the saying - I’d kill for love. And I did. Uh, maybe. I don’t know. Whether I did or didn’t, it doesn’t matter. There is blood on my hands. I have to live with that.” 

A gas station came into their view. Logan turned the car and parked on a free spot next to the building. “I’ll fill the tank, and then we can continue.” 

Y/N unfastened the seatbelt and stepped outside. She stretched her limbs. She went inside the building and bought two water bottles and a chocolate. As she was walking out, her eyes captured Logan filling the tank. Her eyes travelled over his body, admiring how well-built he was. Out of nowhere, her lips slightly curved up. There was a warm feeling in her lower stomach and even excitement. Where did that come from? 

He noticed. Logan saw her standing behind the glass door, holding the bottles and smiling at him. He flared his nostrils and moved his eyes away. Logan moved inside to pay for the gas just as Y/N walked out to the car. 

She put the bottles and chocolate on the roof. The smell of gasoline lingered around the place. One cigarette or a match, and the station would explode. Where was her mind going with this? 

“Hey there, pretty girl.” Two unknown men approached her. They were tall, one was bold, and the other had short dark hair. “Wanna hang out?” 

She hated this. Why did men need to talk to women when they were not interested? She glared at them. “No, thanks.” 

“Oh, come on, sweets.” 

She squinted at them. “I think you have trouble accepting when someone says no.” 

“Mouthy,” one laughed. “I like that.” 

“I suggest you leave me alone before-”

“Before what, sugar?”

Logan walked out, and his eyes fell on Y/N and two douchebags talking to her. “What the fuck?” he mumbled and walked straight to her. Instinctively, he stood behind her, giving the men death glares. “Can I help ya, fellas?” 

Y/N could feel Logan’s body heat radiating. He stood close to her, his front almost touching her back. She smirked, loving how the men’s faces paled. They stepped back. 

“I thought so,” Logan’s hand rubbed Y/N’s right shoulder and then walked around the car. 

Y/N winked at the men and stepped inside the car, smiling. She looked at Logan, who already had a cigar in his mouth, lighting it up. “Thanks.” 

“Eh, don’t mention it,” he said. 

They had another hour and a half before they reached Salem. Either they were silent, or they talked about random things. Y/N could still feel Logan’s touch on her shoulder, lingering there gently. 

“Will you tell me something about you?” she asked an hour later. “I told you about my stupidity. I’d like to know more about you. That is if you are willing to share.” He smiled and rolled his eyes. “You’ve said you killed a lot of people. Can you tell me more?” 

She noticed how he flinged. She must have hit a tough spot. Y/N wanted to apologise. Logan decided to tell her more. “I’ve seen wars, fought in them even.”

“Wars?”

“First World War, Second World War,” he answered. 

Y/N’s mouth almost fell to her lap. “Wait, what do you mean?” 

“I was born in 1832,” he announced. Watching Y/N’s face change a few times was amusing. 

“No shit,” she didn’t believe him. “You cannot be over 170 years old. You look not older than 35.” 

“I ain’t lying, bub,” he grinned at her. 

Y/N’s mouth kept moving. No words came out. Many thoughts were running through her mind. Her whole body turned to him. “Okay, it makes sense when I know about your regenerative healing factor. I didn’t think it would make you immortal.” 

“I wouldn’t say I am immortal,” he took a drag from the cigar. The air filled with its heavy smell. “I once was a boy who grew up, and then, the ageing slowed down until it stopped, or I think.” When he looked at her, Y/N’s mouth kept hanging open. He put two fingers under her chin and helped her close her mouth. “Careful, or something will fly in there.” 

Their eyes met. Logan’s fingers rested under her chin longer than necessary. When he pulled away, she wanted to scream to put them back there. 

“So, both wars,” she tried to resume the topic. 

He wrinkled his nose. “Civil war, Korean war.” 

“Holy shit.” 

“Here’s the thing -  I don’t remember much. At some point, before I even came to the school, I lost my memory. Charles helped me restore some. There are big chunks of my past I still don’t know. I have concluded that it’s for the better.” 

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” she said. 

“No, it’s fine,” he waved a hand. “If you can share bits and pieces, so can I.” 

When they arrived in Salem, it was after midnight. Logan decided to park the car farther away from the lab. It wouldn’t be wise to drive all the way there. Once they left the vehicle, they walked through a calm residential district. The lab was around a ten-minute walk from there. 

The air got colder, and the moon got lost behind the clouds. The wind rose. There were signs it was about to rain. 

“We’ll keep it simple, Y/N,” Logan started to talk, explaining the plan. “We will look around the perimeter and map the surroundings. We count the guards and the security cameras and then leave.” 

“What if-”

“No,” he stopped her. “I will not let you risk your life without a back-up. Last time, the place was packed with armed men. I don’t think that changed since then.” 

There was no point in arguing. “Fine.” 

When they approached the facility, the place looked almost similar when she left it. There was a part of the building demolished. It used to be her escape window. One of the locked mutants wrecked that side with their ability. And yet, it brought her a lot of unpleasant memories. Her stomach turned upside down. 

Together, they moved around the demolished side until they were met with an entrance gate. “What the shit?” Logan mumbled. At the gate were only two men with guns. “Last time, there were twenty of them,” he stated. “The roofs were covered with them. Now nothing.” 

Shouting came out of the demesne. Then, there was the sound of an engine. Logan grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled her to him, making them hide behind a thick tree. He kept her close while they watched a military truck exit the facility. 

“The boy is not here,” Logan stated. “This place is not what it used to be a few weeks back. It’s strange. We got satellite pictures a few days ago, and this was still a highly secured facility.”

When the truck was gone, they moved forward. The wall that surrounded the building was destroyed in many places. They would be able to get with ease. Y/N’s eyes travelled around the building. She knew a way in. She could still remember the interior. 

“We should go. The boy is not here,” Logan ordered, reaching for her arm. 

“No, wait,” Y/N stopped him. “I think this is the perfect opportunity to go inside. So far, there are not many guards. The lab, where they kept us, is underground. At least, that was a month ago. We have the perfect opportunity to look around.” 

He gritted his teeth. “I told you I will not risk your life. It is dangerous.” 

“Then stay here,” she talked back. “I’m here. I need to know. Even if it is only a little bit.” 

Y/N started to run away from him, heading to the fallen wall that was not guarded by the men. Logan cursed under his nose. What was he expecting? That woman was stubborn as hell. Before he lost her, he decided to follow her. His conscience wouldn’t let him let her go alone.

Y/N was careful when she entered the estate and ran to the demolished part of the building. Peeking inside, she saw a destroyed room filled with bricks, wood and damaged furniture. The interior was dark. There was nothing useful for her. Her eyes noticed light coming from the other side. It was a hallway leading further into the compound. 

Her feet automatically took her there. She walked over the bricks and stones until she reached the hallway entrance. If she remembered correctly, it led to a security room. 

A hand gripped her above her elbow and pulled her back. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” Her eyes found angry Logan standing close to her. 

“There is a security room down the hallway,” she whispered. “We will be able to see more.” 

“I am so pissed right now,” he growled. “We had a deal.” 

“If I see a chance, I will take it,” she spat back, trying to keep her voice low. “Now let me go. Please. I must know more.” 

As much as he hated it, Logan let her go. His claws got out, ready to be used if necessary. Logan walked close behind her, protecting her back. They reached the end of the hallway. 

“Shit,” she cursed. There were dead bodies on the floor, covered in blood. It felt like a slaughter room. The scent of copper hit her nose, and she wrinkled it. She observed the dead bodies and discovered they had many bullet wounds on their bodies. It was all fresh. “We’re not alone.” 

Logan started to sniff the air, sensing something was off. Y/N approached the screens and looked at all the cameras installed around the place. There was another military vehicle outside that they didn’t notice. More men surrounded it. They wore different uniforms than the dead men in the security room.

“They are here for something,” she commented as her eyes drifted from one screen to another. “They are here for JJ,” she gasped when she found a screen with JJ’s cell. 

Logan got to her to see with his own eyes. The eleven-year-old was sitting in the middle of a cage, visibly distressed. He had a white gown on. No other mutants were present. As they watched, they saw men come to him, pointing guns at the innocent child. 

Unexpected. That’s how it could be described. How was it possible that the last time Y/N saw him, they wanted to take him away, and now, he was here? None of this made sense. 

“Shit,” Logan gasped. He pointed at one of the soldiers who was closest to the camera. “They work for Trask. If they take him, he’ll sure be dead by the end of the week.” 

That was the push Y/N needed. Logan didn’t have the chance to react when she ran away from him, heading outside to the other military track. She was sure it was waiting there for JJ. 

Anger filled her veins, her whole body. Last time, she couldn’t help him escape. He got her out. She was too weak to return the favour. This time, Y/N was determined to get him out and destroy anyone who would dare to stop her. The deal she made with Logan was out the window. 

Y/N ran outside but hid behind the closest corner, watching. She waited for the window of opportunity. At least ten men kept guarding the vehicle. The back door was opened. Her heart was beating rapidly. Adrenaline was high. Fear knocked on the back of her head, telling her to run away and never look back. 

She potted JJ coming out of the building with a thick collar around his neck. The boy was almost bald and alarmingly bruised. Two big men guarded him by holding his shoulders from each side. Another three men were walking behind them, guns ready to shoot him in his head. 

What can she do with her protective power? It has some offensive moves, Y/N remembered the Professor’s words. They echoed inside her mind. She thought back to when her ability turned deadly. 

One last breath, and she ran towards the heavily armed men. The moment they discovered her presence, their guns were up, pointing at her. Y/N wrapped her body into a protective shield and rammed the men with it. 

Bullets were pointless. They weren’t able to penetrate the protective veil of blue. Y/N turned on her heel and faced the rest of the men. As much as they tried, no one could get through the forcefield. 

Two men grabbed JJ and moved with him away from the fight while the rest of them did everything in their power to kill Y/N. She kept knocking down the men like a house of cards. And then a roaring shout came from the right side. Logan’s claws penetrated the men’s bodies, slicing through them. Some managed to shoot him. 

“No,” Y/N shouted. For a moment, he forgot he was indestructible. And yet, she worried about him.

The usage of forcefield was draining her energy fast. The more she held it on, the weaker her body became. She ran towards the men who got JJ. “Let him go!” she screamed at them. “He’s a child!” 

They threw the boy on the ground hard, making him cry in pain. That’s when Y/N noticed the colourful bruises around his face, arms and legs. He looked sick and beaten. The gun was now pointed directly at his head. “Make a step, and I will kill him in front of your eyes!” 

Y/N didn’t make a move. Her eyes were fixed on the boy. “Let him go,” she said through gritted teeth. “He’s just a child. An innocent child that hasn’t lived enough.” 

Once Logan killed the last man, he walked closer to Y/N and the men. His adamantium claws were covered in blood, as were his t-shirt and the unbuttoned flannel shirt. When he discovered how the boy was close to being shot, he stopped in his tracks, breathing heavily. 

“Y/N,” JJ whispered her name. Tears gathered in his eyes. “Y-you came for me?” 

It broke her heart to see him like this. “Of course,” her voice shook. Her eyes moved back to the soldiers. “Let-him-go. I won’t ask again.” 

“No,” the soldier said strictly. “If you want the boy to live, you will let us leave with him.” 

The forcefield started to glitch a little. Everyone noticed it. Y/N had to focus harder to keep herself protected. One mistake and she could end dead. 

“What do you want with him?” Logan asked instead.

“That’s none of your business, mutant,” he barked. 

Y/N thought about her next move. Her head turned to bloodied Logan, who was breathing heavily. His body was ready to fight. The veins popped out of his neck and forearms. She sighed. Y/N got them into this mess, and she didn’t know what to do. 

“We need back up to Salem’s lab,” her ears registered one of the men talking to a walkie-talkie. “We have two other mutants on our radar. They are trying to get the boy. 

Her eyes blinked a few times. She didn’t have much time left. Y/N kept breathing through her nose. Deep inhale and long exhale. 

“Y/N,” she heard Logan’s concerned voice. 

Focus on the object you want to wrap in the forcefield and send the energy flying to it. That’s what the Professor told her last week during her training. Picture it. Project the vision onto it. 

Her eyes locked on JJ, who was shivering on the cold ground. With that collar around his neck, he looked like a slave. She could feel his fear. All she wanted was to protect him, keep him safe from this fucked up world. Her right hand stretched forward. In her mind, she pictured the boy wrapped around the veil, protecting his soul and body. 

That’s when she felt the energy leaving her body and covered the boy in a light blue and silver veil. For the first time, she created a forcefield around another person. When it happened, the man shot a bullet at him. It got absorbed into it. 

It was Logan’s cue to bolt out of his place and kill both of those fuckers who dared to hurt Y/N or the boy. Blood splashed around them, covering the grass and Logan. It took him a few slices, and it was over. Every soldier who wanted to kill them was dead. 

“Fuck,” Logan cursed and retracted the claws back under the skin. His eyes moved to the forcefield wrapped around the boy and glitching around her. She created two at the same time.

Y/N’s eyes got heavier. Something warm tickled her upper lip. She broke the energy. The veil disappeared from her and from the boy. She exhaled the last breath she held. Her knees gave up, and she fell to the ground. Her head was spinning. She felt this weak before when she escaped the lab. 

“Y/N,” Logan called her name when he fell to his knees next to her. He ran to her the moment she went down. He lifted her head and noticed her nose bleeding heavily. His big hands brushed her cheeks. He put a strand of hair behind her ear. “Look at me, bub. Come on, look at me.” 

“I’m,” she started to talk but failed. She gulped loudly and took a deep breath. “I’m fine.” 

“You’re bleeding,” he wiped the blood with the sleeve of his flannel shirt. It didn’t help much. “Can you walk? We need to move. More will come. We must leave.” 

She blinked a few times. “Yeah, I guess. Get JJ, and we can go.” 

Logan helped her to her feet and made sure she was stable. He turned to the boy who was kneeling on the ground watching them. “You alright, kid?” he eyed the child, checking if he wasn’t bleeding as well. Fear was evident on his face. “I will not gonna hurt ya,” his voice got softer. 

JJ got up on his feet and ran towards Y/N, throwing himself into her weak embrace. “You came for me,” he cried. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” her voice broke, and she kissed his head. “You are safe now, JJ. Logan and I will take you to a safe place.”

As much as he hated to ruin the moment, Logan stepped to them. His ears registered the sound of helicopters in the air. “We need to move. Now.” 

Y/N grabbed the boy’s hand, and they ran away from the facility and into the woods. Logan was two steps behind them, making sure they were moving. His eyes were more fixed on Y/N than on the boy. 

Suddenly, her body bumped into a tree. She had to stop and take a few breaths. Everything was shaking, and her vision got blurry. “Shit,” mumbled. She looked at the boy, then at Logan, frowning. Why were there two of each? 

The woods spun in front of her eyes. It took her a few seconds before she pushed her body off the tree and moved. Her hand never let go of JJ. This time, Logan’s arm found her waist. He kept it there for support. He didn’t want her to fall or hurt herself anymore. He could smell how drained she was. Logan held her until they reached the residential district.

“You good?” he asked her when they slowed down. 

“Just weak,” she replied. “It’s going to be okay. I’ve never held the forcefield for this long.” 

“You projected it around the boy, also. That’s a huge step,” he patted her shoulder. “I’m still pissed at ya,” he added.

“Sorry, not sorry.”

Logan turned around, eyes scanning the woods behind them. His instinct told him to move and leave. He smelled more soldiers searching for them. To their luck, the car was closer than anticipated. He unlocked the car and opened the door for the boy. “Get in,” he ordered. 

Y/N climbed into the passenger’s seat and closed the door with a loud thud. She moaned. The sound was too painful. Once Logan got in, they were on their way away from Salem and back to the school. 

The tension inside the car could be felt until they were far away from the residential district. All of them relaxed when they connected to a main road. 

Y/N reached for her backpack and took out her denim jacket. She took off her hoodie and handed it to JJ. “Put this on so you’re not cold.” 

“Thanks,” he sniffled a little and grabbed the hoodie. He was only wearing a thin white robe covered in dirt. His legs were exposed, and he was bare feet.

Logan saw what she was doing, so he turned on the heat inside the car. Y/N grabbed a bottle she bought at the gas station and handed it to JJ. Then she gave him a piece of the chocolate. “Here, drink and eat some chocolate. It’s all I have now.” 

She watched him from the rear-view mirror, drinking the water and eating the chocolate. Her shoulders relaxed, and she exhaled loudly. As if the stress escaped her body when she saw him alive and well. 

“Everyone’s gonna be pissed,” Logan stated after a while. His eyes were on the road, here and there, checking the boy in the mirror. 

“I don’t care,” Y/N whispered. Her body rested against the car seat, eyes closed. “We didn’t plan on this.”

“Sure,” he scoffed. 

“No, we didn’t,” she opened her eyes and glared at him. “I would have left if it weren’t for the fact that soldiers from Trask came for him. Besides, if I didn’t intervene, we would have lost him forever.” 

“You don’t-”

“You said it yourself,” she snapped. “If they took JJ, he’d be dead by the end of the week. This was our chance. I don’t care that you are upset, disappointed or whatever. It had to be done.” 

Logan hit the steering wheel out of frustration. “Goddamit, Y/N. It was reckless to head inside without thinking. It could have gone to shits if there were more men.” 

“Enough,” she stopped him. “It’s done. We have him. He’s alive, and we made it out of there. End of story.”

Y/n turned her head to the other side. It was a sign that the conversation was over. She noticed a faint reflection of herself in the window. There was dried blood under her nose, lips and chin. She tried to wipe it off with the sleeve of her denim jacket. It didn’t work much. 

“W-who are you?” they heard the boy’s soft voice. He was still afraid. 

“Logan,” he said. 

“Y-you have claws,” JJ stated. “So you are like us, right?” Logan only grunted. “Where are you taking me?” 

Y/N turned around and faced the boy. She put a smile on her face. Her hand reached for his cheek and stroked it. “We are taking you to a safe place for people like us. It’s a school for mutants.”

“School?” his eyes sparkled. “There is a school?”

“Yes,” Y/N nodded. “You will be able to live there and learn. Many children are living their lives there. They helped me, too. Logan saved me when I escaped the lab.” Her eyes filled with tears. She tried to hold the cry but couldn’t. “I’m sorry I left you there. I’m so sorry, JJ.”

His smaller hand reached for her hand on his cheek. “It’s okay. You came back.” 

“No, no, it’s not,” she cried. “You got us out. I will be forever thankful for that. It upsets me that I couldn’t do the same for you that day. It took me a month.” 

Logan felt the pain in Y/N’s voice. He bit his lower lip, trying to hold himself back and not reach for her. The anger he felt was gone. Logan wanted to put her into his arms and protect her whole being from the world. When he saw the tears running down her face, he sighed. His right hand reached for her face, and his thumb wiped off the tears under her left eye. 

Her eyes met his. The touch was gentle, filled with something unspoken, new. “He’s fine. We got him out.” 

All she managed to do was to nod. 

“How long until we are there?” Jerome asked. 

“Four hours,” Logan answered when his hand left Y/N’s cheek and turned his attention back to the road. “Rest, kid. We have a long way ahead.” 

He wrapped his arms around his body, trying to warm himself faster. Y/N’s hoodie helped. He even put the hood over his head. It yanked the collar around his neck. “What about this thing?” 

Y/N observed the device. There was a small green light. It meant it was on. “We’ll figure it out once we are at school. They will get it off you.” 

“What does it do again?” Logan asked. 

“It suppresses our mutation. JJ cannot use his power while the collar is on,” Y/N explained. 

“I can use the claws to slice through it,” he suggested. 

Jerome’s eyes widened, and he gasped. “No,” Y/N said, shaking her head. “It’s dangerous. We don’t know what would happen if you’d try to destroy it like that.” 

“Okay. We’ll let Hank and Jean have a look at it. They will figure something out.” 

[rafestar]

HIGH FOR THIS | Rafe Cameron

WARNINGS: DUB-CON, dark!rafe, +18 smut, drugging, extreme domination, gagging, choking, spitting, cum play, etc.

SUMMARY: rafe craves the reader and he thinks this is the only way in which he can make her his.

A/N: english isn’t my first language so be polite. if there’s any mistakes, i will gladly welcome any advice or help, enjoy♡

The heat and burning she felt was impossible to explain. Sweat and chills ran down her neck and back. It felt like the bed was on fire.

The knot in her stomach and the pulsations in her privacy were intense. An inexplicable pain, of which she did not know it’s precedence.

Y/N was currently in Tanneyhill. When the Cameron parents and the youngest of the family go to dinner, the older siblings throw one of their parties, where the only thing that is inhaled is rich atmosphere and cocaine.

It is not the first time that she has stayed in one of the guest rooms or at the Cameron house. Being best friends with Sarah means being here most of the time.

The party ended a few quarters of an hour after the arrival of the Cameron’s parents, who killed the entire party.

Today, for the first time, she had tried cocaine. Could that be what caused her burning skin?

Hours tossing and turning as her skin felt weaker. Her ears were ringing from the aftermath the music left behind.

Being immobile made her have symptoms on the surface. The brush of her thighs was all that helped but even that wasn't enough.

It seemed as if the room had risen at least five degrees as the air grew thick and almost stifling.

Y/N couldn't take it anymore. She closed her eyes tight. She brought one of her hands up to her forehead, brushing aside the little beads of sweat that trickled down her.

She would definitely never in her life inhale that dust again. She didn't even know where it came from, how was she to know…

A weight settled on the side of her bed and her heart wanted to escape from her chest. She was going to scream but her mouth was covered by the pressure of one hand, drowning her in her own words.

"Shut up," he snapped in a whisper, Rafe now, trailing her fingers to her lower lip. "Be a good girl and be quiet."

Y/N's hands tightened against her comforter, and Rafe smiled at the effect on her body. His hand slid over her neck, trailing in fine strokes down the center of her body, marking a line until it reached her hips.

She didn't even realize how the fuck he got in here without making a sound.

He rested his knee on the bed and with a strong grip, pulled her from her waist, causing Y/N to gasp at the warmth of his hands.

"What did I tell you?" he whispered back to him, taking her heel to pull one of her legs up over her shoulder, "I don't think you want to wake up my whole family, do you?"

His grip on one of her thighs made her tremble, and when she looked back at him, Rafe pulled her from her hips, making her fit right between his crotch.

The burning at her core grew even stronger. She felt the need to move her hips against him, letting herself be carried away by the bulge behind his pants.

“Rafe, please…”

He chuckled. "Look what a whore you can be Y/N, begging already"

Hatred for him flowed through her blood again. The way he carried himself arrogantly killed her. But now she felt completely strange.

"Get away from me," she growled, trying to keep her voice down. "Get out of here"

“Shh…” he whispered, placing a hand under her chin again. "I know you don't want me to go."

And in a way he was right. Y/N needed to feel him but she didn't understand why.

Her body was acting in an uncontrolled way that almost didn’t allow her to think.

He stood still for a moment, his hands being the only ones making movements. His fingertips danced across the fabric of her pajamas until they reached the fold of hers, pulling it gently to now make contact with her skin.

As soon as his fingers dug into the sides of her clavicles, Y/N gasped, squeezing her eyes shut so she wouldn't have to see Rafe's face.

Her leg descended from his shoulder and he moved closer to her. She felt his breath hit her neck.

“Lust is in your blood,” he growled into the crook of her neck, making her suppress a groan. "Lust is very easy to achieve... So easy, that you can bring a little of it under a liquid"

Y/N's eyes snapped open but her vision was clouded with pleasure as Rafe rolled her hip against her, pulling her shorts up to reveal the beginning of her panties.

“Yes…” he whispered, hooking his fingers into the fabric. "So easy…"

Y/N inhaled, reopening her eyes to look at the blond in front of her. “Y-you put…”

"Ecstasy?" he asked. “Yeah… that's exactly what I did. I guess you should be careful with your drinks."

He brought his lips to her ear and caught her lobe, drawing a silent gasp from her.

"Why…" Y/N blurted out quickly. "Why did you…”

She felt Rafe’s bare chest brush against her belly, and his lips parted from her skin, now resting on her jaw. A line of touches for her sensitive skin of hers.

"Why?" he exclaimed with a smile, "Because this is the only way to have you... to have everything of you.”

In a fleeting movement, he tossed at her clothes, causing the pants along with the panties to slide down her legs until they reached her toes, then throw them in a puddle on the side of the bed, leaving her exposed.

Not once did his eyes leave her legs, noting that her trembling only worsened as her own touch added to the equation, made him smile.

He could smell her arousal, causing a change in his own boxers. She was suffering for him. He leaned forward, his lips now tickling her ear.

“You didn't know how fucked up I felt seeing you with others,” he growled, his hand working it’s way up the inside of her thigh. "The way everyone craves you, damn it, drives me crazy."

"Why Rafe…" she gasped, feeling the anticipation of her rip through her belly. "Why it drives you crazy…”

And that could be the question that unleashed him.

His lips collided with hers and the room seemed to disappear in that moment. His hands seemed to be everywhere until she felt one of them tangle in her hair, making her faces even closer than they already were.

He outlined her back gently, tracing the line of her spine until he reached her lower back, pressing to lift her body and bring her hips together, suppressing each other's gasps against their lips.

That was the answer she need.

The throb between her thighs never left. Instead, it intensified.

Rafe's smile was even more hesitant, he was getting what he had been wanting for years.

Suddenly, Rafe got up to sit on the edge of the bed. "Come here.”

Y/N, as she could, crawled across the bed, feeling every muscle burn. Her legs trembled and her thighs throbbed from her core.

This was a level of torture that she had never experienced. Suffering so vile yet so addictive. She hated how her senses were shackled, but the emotion was overwhelming.

Rafe palmed his thigh, "sit here."

She hesitated, her mind not wanting to, but her arousal controlling her over her thoughts or actions, it was frustrating.

She pushed her thighs up as best she could, the pain from them not letting her do much. Rafe understood her difficulty, and placed his hands on her hips to help her up onto his thigh. Y/N placed her hands on Rafe's shoulders for balance.

Once sitting, her clit touched Rafe’s bare thigh, the hiss she let out was overpowering. She threw her head back as her eyes rolled blank.

"Come on love, ride my thigh"

Y/N was lost in thought, until the coldness of Rafe's palms on her hip brought her back to the moment.

She began to roll her hips over him in small circles, seeking the pleasure that would lead her to the ecstasy she craved so much.

Y/N moaned against his mouth and her lips met his again. His tongue slid past hers in a slow, twisting motion.

As torturous as the smooth movement of her hips was to him. Rafe's hands had clung to them, forbidding her to move more than she should. It was distressing her and she began to feel a slight despair when her burning began again.

The drug was still in her blood and the torment would not end until she could free herself.

“Rafe…” she whimpered, digging her nails into her skin, “I need to…”

"No." he snapped, looking into her eyes. "I waited for this shit too long, I won't let you do it."

Her legs wrapped around his hips as Rafe rose to his feet, cradling her in his arms before throwing her against the bed, causing the oak wood to creak.

He positioned himself above her. His hand trailed from her thighs to her throat, gripping her hard to press her against the mattress.

Her eyes widened as he watched the cloud of eroticism vibrate around her. Her chest heaved, her nipples hardened, and her pussy whimpered.

Hovering above her, Rafe curved his tongue into her cheek and hummed in content. Seeing her so vulnerable was a feeling he could get used to.

"I need you to not make any sound, understand?"

Rafe got up as she gave him a slight nod. Her vision blurred every time her core sent shivers through her veins, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

Suddenly, she felt Rafe's big hands encircle her thighs and her tongue dunk flat on it with a flick, making her eyes begin to water.

Gathering as much as he could, he devoured her sweet nectar and licked the center of her nerves with his tongue.

Kissing the center of her, his jeweled hands clasping her thighs, squeezing them to give him deeper access, something that made her head fall back.

She exhaled slowly, he was eating her like it was the last meal of the week. His tongue swiped at her, curving into her to hit all of her ups and downs.

The pulsing hums of her against his mouth brought her closer to release and the immense feeling of euphoria made the tears swell.

Surprisingly, he allowed her to move her hips an inch, indicating that she was ready for her release.

Moaning in frustration, she wanted more. She wanted to beg for more.

She nearly squealed when she realized that Rafe had moved away from the center of her. "I told you to not make any fucking sound"

She started to whimper and her legs were in a knot of nerves. She couldn't control herself anymore.

"Rafe..." She begged, "Please Rafe, I need more."

Rafe laughed at her pleas, but after that, he leaned in and pressed her lips firmly against his, rocking his hips against hers.

She gasped for air and Rafe started to take off his underwear.

Then, he kissed her again, skin against skin made feel even better. Rafe's smooth skin contrasted with her burning skin.

His hands immediately assaulted her breasts, earning another moan from her that fractured her throat.

Rafe's hand moved down his length and thick, and he began to rub the tip against the center of her.

"I swear if you make any noise I'll stick my fingers down your throat"

And with that, he slid inside her, her walls snatching around him with force, and they both moaned at the first blow.

Locking his lips against hers once more, he began to move in a mundane rhythm. Rocking back and forth, his speed began to build and he followed her moans.

As if his pace wasn't fast enough, it was the first time she had experienced something so euphoric. His touch was aggravating, but she couldn't help but want more.

Like cocaine, he was addictive. Dangerous but attractive.

He made her feel things that no one else has made her felt.

Their skin smacked against each other, her wetness sliding around him. Perhaps the most stimulating sounds he has ever heard.

"You feel so fucking good." His pace quickened more, slamming against her hard, his grip on her breasts crushing her.

The sound of deep breaths and the rapid creak of the bed echoed off the high walls.

The humidity rose to a tropical level and her presence still so cool, she couldn't help but moan.

"God, Rafe..."

He tensed as he thrust hard and fast, depending on the way her thighs tightened around him. "What did I tell you?"

She sighed, her mouth parted trying to form words, but nothing could come out of it.

Rafe seemed to get even more annoyed. His blows took on a sound that filled the room.

"I asked you, what the fuck did I tell you?"

She swallowed, wetting her throat, "To… fucking hell… to not make any sound.

The smile on his face was one she had rarely seen, but it made her want to pounce on him and keep kissing him. "And what did you just do?" he whispered, not stopping rocking while his hands exerted the necessary pressure to cup her breasts.

Y/N babbled, “I’ve talked”

And then the thrust stopped. He stood still for a moment but it wasn't to rest.

His fingers entered her mouth, so deeply, that Y/N felt them reach the back of her throat, suppressing her breath.

The hold that was pressed firmly against her breast now sealed her breath in her throat.

Solidifying his hold, she felt her face heat up. “What a good fucking whore. Taking me whole." he groaned.

Like an alarm, she felt the growing sensation against her cunt and somehow she could feel the growing unsteadiness of her.

Although he had his fingers on her mouth, his blows never seemed to miss. And at that, Y/N tightened around him as she choked on his long fingers.

Rafe's grin tipped up, "that's my girl, choke on my fucking fingers."

Saying that, his careless thrusts hit her place perfectly. Tickling at the pinnacle of orgasm, she arched her back once more, taking notice of him.

"Look me in the eye when you cum."

She could feel her cheeks glowing wine-red, and the moan tore through his throat was wasted by his fingers on her throat.

She nodded quickly, leaning on his elbows to look down at the point where he charged into her. Her cock darting in and out of her as small strokes bounced up her body. He tugged on her thigh, bringing her almost to her lap. A position that made her feel him even more deeply as he brought her leg up to rest on his shoulder.

Saliva dripped from his fingers as he took them out of her mouth. His hand took her other leg, bringing her to the same spot, allowing her body to bend to the side.

The blows seemed to be stronger from that place and when he took her cheeks to squeeze, she moaned again.

"You're fucking squeezing me" he complained, and those simple words made her break.

Her walls clenched around him and her orgasm made her clench her teeth. Her hands could barely cover the moan she wanted to release and her tears made her eyes burn. She could feel Rafe keep pushing and it seemed like her blows hurt more than they had when the lust evaporated.

"Fuck no..." he gasped in a whisper, taking the last few thrusts before pulling himself out of her and throwing himself onto the bed.

Y/N was still in her relaxed cloud. The toxins were leaving her body thanks to all that her release had let go, but a new hurricane erupted in her body as she turned her gaze to Rafe.

He had sat on the edge of the bed. One of his hands lay resting on the bed, leaning back slightly as he pumped hard and desperately down the length of his. His hand moving over his cock as it twitched. Liquid trying to escape from him.

Y/N had never seen Rafe like that.

A way in which she felt a fatal attraction.

A fated attraction perhaps.

"Shit..." he groaned thickly, and liquid shot over him. White flecks running down his stomach, covering his skin and slithering down every mound of his muscle.

Y/N squeezed her thighs. She couldn't feel more aroused than she already was. Much less when she'd already released the tension from her once.

Her eyes did not stop looking at the liquid that fell through Rafe's fingers, who continued with his cock tight in his hand. His veins bulging tantalizingly.

"Come here." he commanded, running his tongue along the inside of her cheek.

Y/N came closer, crawling across the bed to his side, sitting up as she admired his ruddy cheeks and tousled hair.

"Take it all out." he told her, gesturing to her torso.

Her lips went dry but she didn't say a word. Taking her hair into a low ponytail, she leaned in, running her tongue slowly over the warm liquid on his skin.

She heard him curse, saying her name in a way that made her melt completely.

Her tongue made a pattern over his skin, taking in all that she resided there before rising, looking into her eyes as she wiped the skin from her lips.

She was about to swallow when he stopped her, "Open your mouth."

Y/N did, and her lips parted, letting her tongue slide out of her as the thick liquid ran down her.

Rafe bit his lip, and his hand moved up to her neck, squeezing as she brought her face closer to his, spitting into her mouth, then burying her fingers in the sensitive skin. from her throat.

"Swallow"

Feeling her heart pound, she swallowed, and the pressure on her throat became painful as everything slid down her, Rafe's hand causing a grim moan at her heat.

"That’s it..." he murmured, "what a good girl."

♡

[crazyfoolish]

You're So Vain | Obi-Wan Kenobi | Part 5

Summary: Duke Castell's impending betrayal forces the Y/N to act swiftly, seeking the protection of Satine. As danger escalates, Obi-Wan and the protagonist embark on a tense escape from Naboo.

Prompt: but you gave away the things you loved, and one of them was me.

Warnings: Existencial Crisis and Blood.

Complete chapter list here.

Duke Castell went away, but I knew, eventually, he would come back. And I knew he would, too—denounce Obi-Wan’s violence to the Jedi Council. That's why I had to move faster than him. I had to call an old friend.

***

“You have to vouch for him, Satine,” I said, holding my chin high, unsure if she could see through the thin disguise of an old, weathered Senator. “I need you to protect him in front of the whole Senate.”

“I’ve been trying to reach you for… I’m unsure how long now. Padmé told me you were too ill to stand.”

I licked my lips and closed my eyes. Satine was always unsettling, her presence imposing.

A Queen.

No wonder Obi-Wan had loved her once.

“I wanted to be there,” I whispered, knowing that the Jedi Knight could appear at any moment. I had hidden in the handmaidens' quarters—familiar territory from when Amidala was queen. One of the girls, Kira, found me lurking in the corridors and had let me stay in her room to escape Kenobi.

To speak with the Queen of the blasted Mandalorians.

What the hell was I doing?

“I wanted to be there,” I repeated, clearing my throat. “To see you, to report to the Senate. But I have to wait. I can’t explain every detail at the moment, but… Satine.”

She tilted her head, the hint of a smile forming.

“You know him,” I continued. “You know how much he loves the Jedi Order.”

“I…” She looked down. “I do.”

“They're threatening to end his position, all because he tried to save me.”

“He has a tendency to do the right thing, whatever the consequences may be,” she said, her voice steady once more.

“I fear someone else might try to harm him—Duke Castell. He’s on his way to Coruscant. I need you to vouch for Obi-Wan, and I need you to… protect him. I know you care enough to do so.”

“Isn’t Senator Amidala already fulfilling this task?” she responded with a hint of sarcasm.

I concentrated. How to explain to her that she and Obi-Wan were working together from the start? But that, at the same time, I knew she couldn’t get too involved in the Jedi matter. 

“She is a capable Senator, but she must protect me first, as a citizen of Naboo.”

“I've seen her try to defend his decisions. But no one cared until she mentioned the…horrors you’ve been through.” 

“I think Padmé…I mean, Senator Amidala needs to be careful. She can’t publicly support him more than she already did.” 

“And what about Palpatine? Isn’t he, also, of your kin?”

“I’m not particularly… fond of him.”

“Why is that?”

I decided to let my guard down.

“He’s creepy. And he’s pro-himself first. He couldn’t care less about the Jedi Order, let alone Master Kenobi.”

“I see,” she said, narrowing her eyes slightly.

“What?” I asked, feeling her gaze pierce through me.

“You feel indebted to him.”

I half-opened my mouth, caught off guard.

“I—uh… Of course,” I stammered, not expecting the question to be so direct.

Satine studied me for a moment. “It’s more than that, isn’t it?”

I hesitated, my thoughts scrambling. She could see right through me, just as she always had.

“I owe him my life, Satine.”

Something shifted in her expression, a flicker of uncertainty or perhaps guilt. “Don’t you think it all happened… because you served me? The Separatists keep pressuring me. Mandalore must remain neutral.” Her words carried a tone that almost sounded like an apology, as if she was justifying the situation.

“I…” My throat tightened. I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell anyone that I was kidnapped because someone knew about me and Obi-Wan… He had warned me to stay silent, especially with the Queen. “I don’t know.”

It was a lie, but I felt that if I said anything—anything at all—it might turn her against him. And I needed her on our side.

On his side, at least.

“Blast.” Satine sighed, looking out into the distance, her mind clearly working through the situation. “Obi-Wan has always been a man of principle, and he will continue to be, regardless of the cost. But if he’s in danger, and if what you say about Castell is true, then I cannot stand by and do nothing.”

My heart leaped. “You’ll help?”

“I’ll do what I can,” she nodded. “But you must understand, the political landscape is treacherous. Even I have limits.”

“I understand,” I replied, relief washing over me. “But knowing you’re there… it makes a difference.”

Satine eyes met mine and something intimate washed over them. Like…comprehension. Like she knew exactly what I was feeling. 

 “Take care of yourself, Y/N.” 

She turned the holo off before I could reply. 

“Well, this wasn’t awkward at all,��� I murmured to myself, grabbing the holopad. What now? I wondered. The sun bathed the room in a warm, nostalgic light, casting a glow on the beige-orange walls, vases of plants, and the tiny steel balcony. This little corner of Naboo encapsulated the life I once knew. How vast the galaxy was, how massive the war had grown, yet the rooms of servants—like myself—remained unchanged.

Never changing.

But now, who was I? I had grown into someone I could barely recognize. Even before the kidnapping, before reliving that moment, I was already slipping away from who I used to be. I was just acting like I knew what I was doing, like I had everything under control.

As I looked at the wind, gently turning the pages of a book Kira left on her bed, it hit me—nothing was under control. Everything could, and would, change. Even here, in this place that seemed so constant.

I just had to accept it, I guess. Instead of being afraid—for me, for Padmé, for Kenobi, for the gods' sake. Hadn’t I hated him all this time? Hadn’t I loathed the Jedi to their very core?

But what was behind it all… jealousy, envy? Vanity.

A bitter laugh escaped my throat. Even that feeling was hollow, fake.

I just wanted to lay down and cry. Maybe Kira wouldn’t mind.

***

I don’t know how long I slept, but I was jolted awake by the sound of raised voices echoing through the corridors. Disoriented, I tried to sit up, but the tangled sheets caused me to stumble and fall to the ground with a thud.

Before I could fully grasp what was happening, the door to the room flew open with a force that nearly sent it off its hinges. Obi-Wan stormed in.

“There you are,” he snapped, his eyes scanning the room before settling on me, sprawled out on the floor. “We have to leave. Now.”

I struggled to my feet. “What… what’s going on?”

“They captured an assassin,” he said, his voice clipped, as he reached down to help me up. “She was here to kill you.”

“An assassin? In Lake Country?”

He grabbed my arm. 

“Hey!” 

“We need to get you somewhere safe, immediately.”

I stumbled as he pulled m. His earlier frustration softened slightly as he saw the fear in my eyes.

“Why didn’t you stay where you were supposed to?” he muttered, I think more to himself than to me, as he guided me toward the door.

“I… I didn’t think—” I began, but he cut me off.

“I suppose it was for the best. She was in your room.”

I suddenly felt very, very nauseous. 

“W-What?”

“There’s no time for that now,” he said, shaking his head. “Just stay close, and do exactly as I say.”

We passed through groups of girls and clones. They screamed. I briefly saw Kira’s face. He hushed orders for the soldiers before leaving. 

As we hurried down the dimly lit corridors, the reality of the situation settled in. This wasn’t just a game of politics or emotions—my life was truly at risk. 

“This is fucking nuts,” I mumbled as we somehow reached the Queen’s private quarters. “What are we doing here?”

“I…” He took a deep breath. “We need to inform her that we’re leaving.”

“Doesn’t she… Does anyone know?”

“No, and I think that’s for the best, isn’t it?” he responded harshly. “If there was one assassin, there could be more. I need to get you out of here.”

“Out of Lake Country…?”

“No, Y/N,” he cut me off, his tone sharp. “Out of Naboo.”

“And go where?” I shouted, panic rising.

“I—I’m not sure yet.”

“What?”

“Just shut up and let me think!”

Before I could respond, the doors swung open. Queen Jamillia appeared, her expression confused. She was dressed down, without her usual makeup or royal attire, looking far more vulnerable than I’d ever seen her.

“Master Kenobi?” she said, her eyes scanning the room until they landed on the clones behind us. Relief briefly crossed her face. “I heard about our new prisoner.”

“Your Majesty, I don’t have much time to explain, but I need to get the Senator out of the system,” Obi-Wan said.

She blinked at me, and I lifted both shoulders in a helpless gesture.

“We are going to increase security, Master Kenobi. I’ve already given the order to Commander Cody—”

“It’s not enough, Your Majesty,” he interrupted, his voice firm. “With all due respect, I don’t believe you or your people are safe, and neither is she. But my sworn duty lies with her. You will depart with Commander Cody to Coruscant, and I will take Senator Y/N far away from the reach of the assassins.”

The Queen’s eyebrow arched. “I don’t think I can let you do this. I am her Queen. I’ve sworn an oath to protect my people… And she’s been through—”

“I don’t require your permission,” Obi-Wan cut in. “She is not safe here.”

Oh, Stars.

Queen Jamillia raised an eyebrow further, her gaze piercing. “Oh?”

“I’m sorry, truly, but I’ve already arranged for your departure,” he said, his tone softening slightly.

“And may I know, then, where you are planning to take my protégé?” 

“I can’t tell you.”

“You can’t tell me,” she repeated, a dry smile playing on her lips. 

For a moment, the room was filled with a charged silence, the Queen and Obi-Wan locked in a silent battle of wills. 

I couldn't think of anything to say. 

“This is for her safety, Your Majesty,” he finally said, his voice calmer but no less determined.

The Queen held his gaze for a long moment, then sighed, her regal composure faltering just slightly. “Very well, Master Kenobi. But know this—if any harm comes to her, the blame will rest solely on your shoulders.”

“I accept that responsibility,” Obi-Wan said without hesitation, his eyes never leaving hers.

With a final nod, the Queen turned to me. “Take care, Y/N. We will see each other again.”

I could only nod back. 

Obi-Wan took my arm, gently, and led me out of the room. As we walked away, I couldn’t help but glance back at the Queen, her figure now small and distant as we hurried down the corridor.

“Where are we going?” 

“Somewhere far from here,” Obi-Wan replied, his grip tightening on my arm as if to reassure me—or maybe himself. “Somewhere safe.”

The uncertainty in his voice did little to calm my nerves, but I knew better than to argue. Whatever was happening, it was far beyond my control. And for now, all I could do was trust him.

Yes, things could change very quickly, indeed. 

***

“Whatever your plan is, I must insist you—”

“Do please be quiet.” He tossed a piece of cloth at my face.

“What is this?” I asked, pulling the fabric away. It smelled good but was brown, large… and ugly.

“A cloak.”

“Is this one of those Jedi ugly hoodies?”

Obi-Wan ignored me entirely, tearing through his small, sparse room, gathering clothes, tools, and shoving them all into a large bag.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get your things… I just… I don’t want you there.”

I sighed, sinking onto his bed. Such a small, simple room—no windows, no heating, no personal items. Exactly what I expected.

“I don’t really have anything, so don’t worry.”

That—though I didn’t know why—made him stop in his tracks.

“But you do.”

He hesitated, his face betraying an inner struggle. Finally, he reached into his white robe, pulling out my necklace—my kyber crystal necklace. The one he had given me after we…

Well, after we fucked. It was the after-coitus crystal. 

“Where did you find this?” I couldn’t help it; my face lit up. After years of not having it, I suppose I had forgotten about it again.

“It was on your dressing table.” He turned away, resuming his search. “Well, I guess we have everything.”

“Don’t you want to give me a lightsaber?” I teased, holding up the crystal. “I mean, I’ve got the kyber crystal…”

“That is absolutely out of the question. Now, take off your clothes.”

“What?” I blinked.

“I-I mean, get changed.” His face turned a shade of purple for a second.

“With what?!” I held the cloak high. “This?” 

“Here.” He handed me a simple dress, something that looked like a servant’s attire.

“Did you steal this from Kira?”

“From whom?”

“Nevermind.” I stood up, starting to unbutton my dress. “Um, do you mind turning around?”

That made him smile—a sarcastic, mischievous kind of smile, as if he’d been waiting for this exact moment.

“I thought you said it wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before?”

Now my face was burning red. Even my hands swelled up with embarrassment.

“Get over yourself, will you?” I grabbed one of his two pillows—oh dear, it smelled like him—and tossed it in his face.

“I’ll turn around,” he said, rolling his eyes as he did so, though the smile remained on his lips.

***

Obi-Wan had an escape route—because of course he did. Bloody bastard. Before nightfall, we took off from his window, circling the lake in silence. He looked behind him many times.

We moved quickly through the forest, the dense trees providing cover as we made our way to wherever he was leading me. The path was narrow, barely visible in the dimming light.

“Where are we going?” I finally whispered..

“There’s a safe house not far from here,” he replied, his voice low. “We’ll stay there until it’s dark enough to move unseen.”

Of course, he had a safe house. Because why wouldn’t he? I bit back the urge to say something sarcastic, focusing instead on keeping up with his brisk pace.

We reached the safe house just as the last light of day faded. It was a small, unassuming building tucked away in the forest, nearly invisible unless you knew where to look. He opened the door with a key hidden under a loose stone, motioning for me to enter.

The inside was just as simple as his room back at the palace—bare walls, a single bed, a table with a few chairs, and some basic supplies. But it was safe, and that was all that mattered.

As I settled into one of the chairs, something caught my eye. Obi-Wan was moving around the room with a slight stiffness. A dark stain on his tunic drew my attention, and I realized with a start that it was blood.

“You’re hurt,” I said, my voice sharper than I intended.

“It’s nothing,” he replied, brushing it off as he turned away.

But I wasn’t about to let it go. “Nothing? You’re bleeding, Obi-Wan. Let me see.”

He hesitated. Finally, he sighed, unfastening his tunic to reveal a nasty gash across his side.

“It’s from the fight with the assassin,” he admitted quietly.

Without thinking, I grabbed a cloth and some water from the table and moved closer. “Sit down,” I ordered, pointing to the bed. “I’m going to clean it.”

“I can take care of it myself,” he protested, but there was little conviction in his voice.

“Sit down,” I repeated, more firmly this time.

He relented, sitting on the edge of the bed as I kneeled beside him. He took off his undertunic and I tried not to stare.

I tried. 

Gently, I began to clean the wound, trying to ignore the way my hands trembled slightly.

“I was a politician held hostage, and you are a soldier. Why do you have to make things so complicated?” I pressed the cloth against his wound a bit harder than necessary, eliciting a grunt from him.

“I could say the same of you, Senator,” he replied, his voice strained but laced with a hint of humor.

I rolled my eyes, but a small smile tugged at my lips despite myself. The tension between us, always simmering just below the surface, felt different now—softer, more vulnerable. As I finished bandaging the wound, my fingers lingered on his skin for a moment longer than necessary.

“There,” I said, standing up and stepping back, trying to regain my composure. “That should help.”

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“Try to get some rest,” he said, breaking the silence. “We’ll need to leave as soon as it’s dark.”

I nodded, too tired to argue, and sank back into the chair. The day had been long, and the weight of it all was finally catching up with me.

When I woke, the room was dark, the only light coming from a small lamp on the table. Obi-Wan was standing by the door, his silhouette tense and alert.

“It’s time,” he said softly, his voice breaking through the haze of sleep.

I stood, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, and followed him out into the night. The air was cool, the forest quiet except for the occasional rustle of leaves. We moved quickly, making our way to the ship he had hidden deep in the forest.

The ship was small, unremarkable—just like everything else about this escape. But it was our ticket out of here, and that was all that mattered.

Obi-Wan did a quick check of the systems, making sure everything was in order, before nodding to me. “Let’s go.”

I followed him up the ramp, my heart pounding in my chest.

“How long has this ship been here?” I asked, glancing around.

“Jedi have many… alternate plans,” he replied, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Everywhere, really. I once found a hidden clue to a planet no one had ever discovered in the temple when I was sixteen. We always… keep things, just in case. For future Jedi, you see.”

“Is it not trackable?”

He knelt down beside the ship’s control panel. He accessed a hidden compartment, revealing a small device wired into the ship’s system. He disconnected a few wires, removed the device, and crushed it under his boot with a satisfying crunch.

Then, he pulled out a small tool from his belt, running it over the ship’s exterior, scanning for any other potential trackers. A faint beep confirmed his suspicion, and he quickly disabled the last of the ship’s surveillance tech.

Obi-Wan stood up, brushing off his hands as he turned to me.

“Not anymore.”

[gizkasparadise]

webtoons im currently hooked on

my brain hasnt been able to muster the attention span for dramas lately, so i've switched to reading webtoons for the time being. wanted to share some of my current favorites so maybe some folks can fangirl about them with me /o/

i also have a list of similar dramas so if youre new to webtoons but not dramas you can kind of compare #vibes

roughly in order:

TRAPPED (ALSO KNOWN AS OLGAMI OR NOOSE)

synopsis (mild spoilers)

girl meets boy at church. girl is an ex-convict who tried to kill someone. boy is a vampire. boy blackmails the girl into hiding his dead bodies using her job as a taxi driver. boy thought he had control over the situation. he absolutely does fucking not. the most fucked up slowest of slow burns ensues as fuck-or-die might become a little too literal.

why read

omfgggggggggggggg if you like your ships dysfunction junction this one is 100% for you. the romance takes a while to kick off, with the first season being mostly thriller with some unhinged UST between the leads, but when the male lead (park yunsu, vampire murderbastard) falls he falls hard and it is messy beyond all belief because the female lead (han chae-ah, taxi driver and unwilling gravedigger) does not forgive or forget and will do whatever it takes to survive. both leads are compelling and interesting and it's such a great take on enemy lovers (and not necessarily enemies to lovers)

chae-ah: i'll kill you

yunsu: alright :) try your best :) ill be waiting :)

the side characters are all really interesting as well! especially grimm, a 60-year-old child who definitely chooses mom in the divorce

similar dramas: basically take any fei wo si cun male lead (goodbye my princess, siege in fog), give him the ability to commit supernatural murder, and then pair him with a female lead who will absolutely kill him the second she gets a chance to

MY REASON TO DIE (ALSO KNOWN AS WHAT I DECIDED TO DIE FOR)

synopsis

ji-o is a talented taekwondo student athlete on her way to the olympics before she gets an injury that stalls her progress. while on the bus to training, she crosses paths with cha gyeol, a delinquent who runs with a rough crowd and almost never comes to school. as she navigates her feelings with unexpected first love, ji-o keeps having prophetic dreams-- ones where someone dies over and over again.

why read

female gaze: the webtoon lol. ok but actually what starts out as a fairly fluffy/slice of life high school romance has a plot twist that really rocks and made want to immediately start a reread of the whole webtoon.

similar dramas: someday or one day

MAYBE MEANT TO BE

synopsis

han jia is a 32 year old unemployed freelancer living with her parents, who are getting a little desperate to have her out of the house. during the holidays, she sneaks away from her family to have a smoke in the alleyway. there, she bumps into jin mincheol, a friend from childhood who she hasn't talked to in years. and he is just kind of. eating a chicken breast there. anyways.

they talk, and mincheol shares that his mother is also pressuring him to get married. jia proposes a contract marriage, not expecting mincheol to take her up on it. he does. immediately. oh shit.

why read

omg jia's a mess and mincheol's a nerd (affectionate x2). there's something just really delightful about seeing these little weirdos work through their issues, grow, and realize that they actually fit really well together. i love them both. mincheol is just so delightfully consistent and we get to see jia begin to figure her life out. the humor is spot on as well, i've laughed out loud several times

similar dramas: because this is my first life

OTHERS I REALLY LIKE

something about us. gayoung and woojin have been friends forever. when woojin comes back to college after his military service, that begins to get shaken up. friends to lovers with really cute art and one of my favorite second leads of all time

unholy blood. hayan is a pureblood vampire OUT FOR REVENGE against other vampires. blood+ vibes in the best way (not that far into this one yet, BUT IM READY)

dreaming freedom/freedom in dreams. jeongmin is relentlessly bullied in school, and the only way she escapes is through lucid dreaming, where she imagines her life differently and also how she can get her revenge. in her dreams, she meets a manic murder yandere boy, and shit escalates from there

cheese in the trap. aaaaaaaay we know this one :'D

[elisysd]

Tolerate It – Taylor Swift

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

Trigger warning: toxic relationship / mention of revenge porn and eating disorder.

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

Five years ago – Vancouver

Lyanna looks everywhere, trying to register every single detail her gaze feal upon. It’s her first day on the set of Fire and Blood. She’s already met her castmates and rehearsed with them but being here, with all the lights and cameras, all the people working behind the scenes to make the magic happen: it amazes her. She is like a kid in stores around Christmas time.

Playing Laura Emmet, a young girl who is supposed to be human but has a few special abilities, is going to be her big break she can feel it. She is so excited to start filming.

Fast forward to four months later and it’s a wrap on season one of Fire and Blood. All the cast members as well as the directors and some people from the team are in a nice restaurant to celebrate. They all laugh together and it’s overall like a big family. Lyanna is talking and joking with Amy Holland who plays her best friend in the series and James Barton wo plays her love interest. She has a crush on him, ever since they met when they had their chemistry test during the auditioning process.  She is a little tipsy but not enough to make the first move. Amy, who knows perfectly what is going on in her friend’s head, pulls her aside.

“Come on girl, just go for it! You’re so obvious.”

“Well not enough apparently, he didn’t try anything. Maybe he is just not interested.”

“You won’t know if you don’t try!”

And indeed she tries.

Fire and Blood is a tremendous success. Beyond what could have been expected. Lyanna and James quickly become Hollywood’s new favorite couple. They are so in love it’s sickening. They are this couple who loves posting pictures of each other, who are doing everything together all the time and for a lot of people, they are the physical embodiment of soulmates. Everyone is sure they are endgame. And Lyanna thinks so too. She is eighteen, James is twenty. He is most of her first times. First serious relationship, first time, first person she wants to call when something good or bad happens to her. He quicky became her whole world to the point she isolated herself from her friends and family. Everything revolves around James.

She loves waking up in the morning with him by her side. She loves going to work with him. Working on season two of Fire and Blood is a lot of pressure. The expectations are high but Lyanna doesn’t care, she has her boyfriend, the love of er life by her side. Nothing can go wrong. They are dating for almost a year now and nothing has changed, they love each other just like the first day. At least, that’s wat she feels. She noticed some slight changes in James’ behavior: like he gets jealous more often, especially since she seems to get more attention from the fans and the media and sometimes, he feels left out. But Lyanna still thinks it’s cute: his jealousy. It shows that he cares for her.  

They are celebrating the wrap up of Fire and Blood season 2 in the same restaurant where they did or the first season. But the atmosphere is not the same. Lyanna got a big proposition to be the new face of Dior. She was so excited to announce it to James. But unfortunately his enthusiasm doesn’t match hers. They are fighting outside the restaurant and Lyanna is crying. She doesn’t understand.

“You do realise that this means that you are going to attend a lot of events with them and for them. And did you think about me? About our relationship? You should have told me.”

“That’s what I’m doing, James…”

“No. You’re informing me. You’ve already made up your mind. And that’s fucking selfish. You are throwing away a year and a half of our relationship. And for what? To play the Barbie to a fucking luxury brand?”

“It’s an amazing opportunity James.”

“You know what else is an opportunity, Lyanna? Me going to see other girls. They are a lot of them tonight. Why should I stay with you when at the first chance you get you leave me. I can do the same. Many girls are throwing themselves at me and because I love you and respect you, I always refuse. But why should I, hum, when you are acting selfish?”

She ended up turning down Dior. She loves James more than a stupid contract. She doesn’t want to lose him. To avoid the history repeating itself like its fateful night, now every single thing she wants to do, she asks him first. Because in her mind that’s what a good girlfriend is supposed to do. And just like that she is isolating herself even more, to the point where even her family has a hard time reaching her. They tried to warn her about James, that the relationship wasn’t healthy, that she should leave him. They are scared for her. But Lyanna loves him too much. Her family doesn’t know him like she does, they have no right to judge him. So she started to answer their phone calls less and less.

3 years ago – London

They bought an apartment in London. In fact, it’s James that bought it for them. It was a big step in the relationship but since they were already together pretty much every day, all day, it just make things official. She is almost twenty one and she is still so in love. But lately she noticed that James is drifting away. One day she saw the models that he was liking on Instagram and wen she confronted him about it, he simply said:

“Yeah well, I like the way they look. It doesn’t mean anything. If you feel insecure because of that that’s not my problem Lyanna.”

She was naïve and she desperately wanted to have his attention. Just like it was at the beginning when he could not keep his hands to himself around her and was whispering sweet nothings in her ear every chances he got. So she started to exercise more and eat less. A few months later she was only a shell of what she used to be.

And still it was not enough.

The final blow came a late September. She was out to meet her agent who wanted to have a very boring talk about her salary expectations for the season three of Fire and Blood. She was going to have a raise. It made her happy but her part of her was dreading to announce it to James, not knowing how he would react to her now being paid more than him.

But nothing could have prepared her to what she saw when she stepped inside their shared appartement. When she opens the door, what immediately hits her is the smell of bacon coming rom the kitchen. What could be perceived as a nice surprise makes her, in reality, feel sick in the stomach. James is vegan and she hates bacon, something that he knows perfectly well.  

It's when she approaches the kitchen that her worst fears are confirmed. A young woman is standing in front of the oven, only wearing a tee-shirt, one Lyanna knows all too well well since she bought it for James’s birthday two years ago. Her hair are wet, she used the shower. She is to stunned to speak, her brain trying to process the information. She finally makes a move when the door of the bedroom opens and James comes out, wearing only comfy pants, his hair wet as well. That’s the extra push she needs to finally speak.

“Am I interrupting something?”

It startles the two cheaters.

“Lyanna? Fuck, I thought your meeting would run for way longer.”

“I bet you did. Who is your guest? Care to introduce me.”

“No need, the blond girl finally speak totally unbothered. You’re James’s girlfriend.”

“So you do know he has a girlfriend.”

“Alice, can you leave us please.”

The so-called Alice exits the room before picking up her stuff and leaving the place not without miming to James to call her.

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“Don’t play stupid James! How long are you cheating on me for?”

He remains calm as Lyanna starts to feel tears rolling down her cheeks wile James was looking down on her, not even remorseful.

“Come on Lyanna, you can’t seriously think that I would stay faithful to you? I’m twenty three, I’m young, I’m famous, I’m rich and I’m good looking, you can’t expect me to stay loyal to you. Not when there are so many opportunities around me.”

“You could have just broken up with me instead of throwing away three years of my life. I love you James… I can’t believe it. That’s not you, that’s not the man I fell in love with.”

“And I loved you. At some point I guess when we started dating. But wat I once felt for you died a long time ago.”

“Why did you stay then? Explain it to me!”

“Because it made us look good. People love us together. They are stupid enough to buy our perfect couple story. If I broke up with you, it’s a loose -loose for both of us Lyanna. You really think that you can exist on your own? List me one time where you made the headline on your own. Where I wasn’t being mentioned. You can’t. People don’t like Lyanna Michel on her own. They like James Barton and Lyanna Michel, the power couple. If you sink, I sink too.”

“You are wrong.”

Her voice is broken, she is holding back so as not to break down in front of him. His words are cruel, his gaze cold and his face inexpressive.

“I missed so many opportunities because I believed your words, because I didn’t want to lose you, because I trusted you. I lost friends, I barely speak to my family. All that because I thought that you loved me and because I wanted to spend my life with you. I thought they could not understand. I protected you.  And for what? What do I have left?”

“Well too bad for you. I never asked you to do those things. It’s all your fault Lyanna if you are alone now.”

She couldn't bear to stay another minute in that bloody flat. She stomps off to the bedroom, takes out a suitcase and stuffs a few things into it. She has to leave. To where? She has no idea, but she has to get away from here. Away from him.

“Where are you going? You can’t seriously think of leaving?”

“Oh yes, I can. I won’t stay here wit you. We’re done James. Forever.”

Her words seems to shake him. His gaze hardens and he grabs her violently by the elbow as she walks through the bedroom door, dragging her suitcase as best she can.

“If you go through that door, you'll regret it, Lyanna. I'm not joking, I’ll make you life like hell. You think you can just leave me, after everything I've given you? This flat? It's mine, you've got nowhere else to go. What about shooting the show? Have you thought about that? Do you really want to throw it all away over a domestic quarrel?”

“I'm going to tell the truth, to the production team, to my agent, to the press if I have to, but I'm not going to let you manipulate me. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

She pulled away from him and went through the door.

When James said that he would make her life like hell, she did not believe him. But she quickly changes her mind when she gets a phone call from her agent early in the morning, a few weeks later.

“Pictures leaked in the press Lya.”

“What pictures?”

“Intimate ones.”

It takes her a while to understand what that means. And then she made the mistake of opening her social networks. Her private messages are flooded with insults. Photos of her in compromising positions jump out at her. She just doesn't get it. She doesn't know where they're coming from. She's never taken any. She explained this to her agent, who replied that she was doing her best to minimise the damage. And the more she looks at the photos, the more she understands. She recognises James's flat. Could he have been vicious enough to take photos of her without her knowing?  It seems perverse and sick and twisted and wrong, but after all, does she really know him? She wonders.

And just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, a video surfaced. A video of her and James having sex. And the media machine goes into overdrive. Radio, television, newspapers, social networks, they're all having a field day making her out to be something she's not. A slut. The comments are making her sick. It's violent. She can no longer leave her house without being mobbed by the paparazzi. She feels guilty. How could she not realise that she was being filmed without her knowledge or consent? Shame overwhelms her. And soon her agent tells her that season three of Fire and Bood will be the last. Faced with the scale of the scandal, the channel decided to cancel it. What had made her the happiest woman in the world three years ago turns into a nightmare. She dreads the day when she has to return to filming.

As expected, the shoot was hellish. The atmosphere is tense and it's no surprise to anyone when the critics come out and describe the final season as a shipwreck. It can't be any other way when the two main actors can't be in the same room as each other. James barely spoke to her, just to ask if she'd had a good few months since the break-up and if she'd enjoyed his little surprise.

That year, Lyanna is a shadow of her former self. She barely eats or goes out. All the unwanted attention she receives gnawed at her insides. So she disappeared. She closes her social networks and leaves London to return to France, to her mother's house, to recover. As the months goes by, she steps away from Hollywood to concentrate on smaller projects that don't attract many people to the cinemas, but that allows her to regain confidence in herself and in her work.

So when Steven Spielberg contacts her agent to offer her a role in his next film, Lyanna hesitates. She isn't keen on returning to the violence of the business, and is terrified at the thought of doing it all over again. But her passion for art takes over and she can't refuse. Who would say no to Steven Spielberg?

But her experiences have taught her one thing: she will never again let a man be so important in her life. And never again will she go out with someone famous. It's nothing but trouble. As for trusting anyone, never again. She would rather be alone than badly accompanied.

And then Monaco arrived. And with it, a neighbour she finds hard to stay away from.

==========

taglist: @zendayabelova @purplephantomwolf @ru-kru @dakotali @blueflorals

[tagthescullion]

Diplomacy: a Net of Embellished Lies

Fandom(s): Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus

Rating: G

Summary: Five times Nico lied to the people around him, and one time he told the truth.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

AO3 link

Chapter 5: The Doors

“He’s turned up in Camp Jupiter.”

Hades’ eyes lingered on his son’s troubled expression. 

“Percy Jackson,” Nico clarified. “He’s been accepted into the legion.”

“How relieving,” he told the boy. “I’ll be able to sleep peacefully tonight knowing my sister has released my brother’s favourite bastard.”

Nico gave him a look that conveyed extraordinary amounts of contempt considering his age. 

“Isn’t that good?” He asked. “You said Hera’s plan might work.”

“No, that’s not what I said,” Hades refuted. “What I did tell you was that it might work out for you and Hazel. If Hera managed to bring your two peoples together, that would give you a valid excuse to be seen around with your Roman sister.”

It gave him an uncomfortable shiver to think of the whole Greek/Roman division. But he’d rather fade into oblivion than let his son see him in such a weakened state.

“You don’t believe it could bring both camps together, then?” Nico wondered.

Hades hesitated for a moment. “I am not sure it is such a solid bet as my sister believes it to be. There’s many years of bad blood between both sides.”

“I know that,” Nico said. “But the stakes are high enough that they must see we have to work together!” 

“Rationally, your differences could be put aside for the greater good,” Hades agreed. “My grandmother is a formidable enemy and so are her second batch of children, it’s unlikely you could beat them without cooperating.” He made himself more comfortable in his throne, he’d been on edge for months, with the disappearance of Thanatos, and the issue with the Doors. Yet he made an effort to make his son understand. He was an idealist, he needed things spoken clearly. “But you’ve lived part of a memorable mortal conflict in your childhood, haven’t you? Tell me, how well did people put their differences aside to beat a common enemy back then?”

“That’s not the same,” Nico argued. “Those were governments. This is just… a bunch of children.”

“Why, of course,” Hades nodded. “Teenagers have always been known to be more reasonable and level-tempered than adults.”

The boy exhaled, no doubt in an attempt to avoid rolling his eyes at Hades, which would have ended up with him grounded for a month, life-or-death conflict be damned.

“I only mean,” Nico began slowly. “That I think leaders of both camps are much less corrupt and selfish than governments tend to be. They would at least consider cooperating.”

“Let us hope so,” Hades said. “In any way, we should first wait for Hazel and her two companions to return from their quest before we start speculating.”

Nico looked uncomfortable. “They will return, won’t they?”

“Only the fates can tell,” Hades stated. “Thanatos must be returned to his position as my lieutenant. Spirits are growing uneasy without him.”

He was rather worried, if he was honest. As Hades, the fear he felt for his Roman daughter was slightly dampened, but he still wanted her to return unharmed. It irritated him to be unable to help, even if subtly, while she was in Alaska. Damned place, just off the extent of his powers.

And, of course, the issue with the Doors of Death was much worse than he wanted to admit. Spirits returning? His family would never let him hear the end of it.

He could almost hear it, ‘You have one job, brother, do  try to do it properly’, they would be unbearable.

“How are you faring without him?” Nico asked. “It’s been quite a while.”

His tone was concerned, which Hades both appreciated and found ironic, since the boy had benefited from the situation when it suited him, but Nico needn’t worry about such things. Or perhaps he should, if he could use the information to put pressure on either camp.

“The Furies can keep things in order here, for the time being,” he replied. “The problem is that the other side of the Doors is in Tartarus.”

Nico paled. “I see…” 

“Yes, it’s not ideal.”

“And, hypothetically,” Nico commented. Hades frowned, he never liked his son’s hypothetical questions. “How would one be able to close them, then?”

“You defeat Gaea,” he explained. “Either you blackmail her or bribe her into closing them herself —rather unlikely, as you can imagine—, or you send a couple of expendable creatures to close them from Tartarus.”

“Demigods, for example?”

“No,” Hades dismissed the notion with a wave of his hand. “Demigods could never make it, your kind is not prepared for the abyss, your mind would shut off.”

Nico frowned. “You once told me demigods were ideal for all this crap because we were part of both worlds.”

“You have an incredible ability to distort my words into whatever is convenient for you, did you know?” Hades was losing his patience. “I told you that demigods were my family’s ideal tool to annoy me by sending them here —to the civilised bit of the Underworld— bearing demands. Not to dive into Tartarus in a suicide mission for their souls to be lost forever.”

“The soul would be lost?” That seemed to concern his son more than the rest.

“Of course,” Hades confirmed. “Thanatos —assuming he ever returns to his post— wouldn’t venture that far to pick up a wayward foolish spirit. Besides, who would be idiotic enough to—” Then it clicked. “Absolutely not.”

“What? I didn’t say anyth—”

“You’re not about to throw yourself into Tartarus,” Hades ordered. “That’s the most ridiculous plan you’ve come up with so far, and the Fates know you’ve had plenty of wacky ideas.”

“Now who’s understanding whatever they want?” Nico snapped. “I didn’t imply that I’d go to Tartarus, it was all theoretical.”

Hades stared at him firmly. “You want to close the Doors.”

“That would be useful,” he confessed with a self-conscious shrug. “But I didn’t know they were in Tartarus.”

“And now that you do know,” Hades insisted. “You won’t go near that cave, will you?”

Nico stayed silent.

“Answer me,” Hades demanded. “Promise me you won’t be reckless enough to go near that bloody cave.”

His son looked at him defiantly. But staring contests were Hades’ speciality. Even his spoiled youngest brother couldn’t beat him.

Reluctantly —very, very reluctantly—, Nico nodded. “All right. I won’t.”

[ejzah]

A/N: Cancelation won’t stop me from writing about these characters, at least not for quite a while. Because I have a whole load of WIPs to finish. The angst

***

One Wrong Move, Part 4

“Dr. Morita said the medication could have some side effects,” Deeks said, while Kensi continued to run her gloved hand along his forehead, cupped his cheek, and settled low on his neck.

Truthfully, he did feel a little overheated, but he’d attributed it to the anxiety—his heart rate hadn’t slowed since this started—and closed-in space. Apparently, Kensi didn’t feel the same; shaking her head, she dropped her hand, hurrying across the room, and pressed the call button on the wall.

“Deeks, I can feel it through my glove. That can’t be normal,” she insisted. She crossed her arms over her chest, shoulders twitching restlessly as she crossed back over to him.

The doors hissed open and a tall, red-haired woman in a gown, mask, and gloves walked through. She took in the situation with a single sweeping look, apparently coming to the conclusion that there wasn’t an immediate emergency in progress.

So far Dr. Ashley Morita had projected a general air of competence and trust, largely thanks to her calm demeanor. She’d been straightforward with Deeks, but optimistic and never panicked.

“Detective,” she started, then corrected herself before Deeks could, “Deeks, what’s going on?”

“I think he has a fever,” Kensi answered for him, obviously thinking that he’d try to downplay it.

“Dr. Morita, you said that the antibodies might cause my temperature to spike,” Deeks said. Somehow, he didn’t think he was that lucky, but his instinct to protect Kensi couldn’t be stopped. Even when he had zero control over the situation.

“That’s true,” the doctor agreed, retrieving a medical grade thermometer. She gestured for him to sit on the bed, placing the plastic sheathed sensor under his tongue. Kensi lingered behind him, her anxiety nearly tangible. “However, we can’t count on that.”

The thermometer beeped and she removed it, eyeing the screen briefly.

“101.8. That’s not terribly high yet, but it is concerning. Especially since you had a normal read during the last rounds.” Morita grabbed a nearby blood pressure cuff and pulse oximeter, placing the latter on Deeks’ left index finger and then wrapping the other around his bicep on the opposite arm.

“Your blood pressure is a little high.” She recorded each number, before moving onto the next. “Oxygen is normal.”

“That’s good, right?” Deeks asked, noticing the slight furrow of her eyebrows.

“It is,” she agreed cautiously. Straightening up, she placed the medical equipment in a bin to be sanitized. “You know how quickly symptoms can appear and worsen. I’d like to begin tracking your vitals signs constantly so we can stay ahead of symptoms as they appear.”

Deeks looked to Kensi, seeing the same renewed grief in her eyes.

“We’ll also need to restrict all visitors,” Dr. Morita added softly, maybe even a touch of regret in her voice. Somehow here understanding made it even worse.

“Ok, um, I need to talk with Kensi about a few things,” he said, fighting to control his voice. He didn’t quite contain the wobble at the end.

“Of course. I’ll give you two a couple minutes.” Touching his shoulder with her gloved hand, Dr. Morita squeezed gently, then left them alone.

“Kensi, if this starts to go bad, well worse than it already is, I need you to call my mom.”

“Deeks.”

“Kens, I’ve kept her in the dark about enough stuff like this before. I know she can’t know the real reason now, but I need to give her that opportunity. I can’t shut her out again.”

Kensi blinked rapidly, chest heaving as she heard what he wasn’t saying. In all the other times his life had been in danger, Deeks always resisted contacting Roberta.

“No, you can tell her yourself,” Kensi told him hoarsely. She almost sounded angry as she jabbed a finger at his chest. “You can tell her yourself because you are strong, and stubborn, and you are not going to give up without a fight.” Her voice trembled, and Deeks was horrified to see tears in her eyes again. “Don’t even think about it Marty Deeks, because I need you.”

“Ok.”

“You need to promise me, Deeks,” she continued more softly. “Promise me that you will not give up. No matter how hard it gets.”

“I promise,” he murmured. God he hoped he didn’t break that promise.

[astroyongie]

TW: pet death, grief

I had to put my cat down today. Her name was Trixie and she was 19.5 years old. She had hyperthyroid and high blood pressure that I was giving her two meds twice a day for two years but then her kidneys starting shutting down…there is no treatment for feline kidney disease, especially for one Trixie’s age.

I’m gutted. I always knew this day was coming but she was fine and then literally last night she went downhill. It just seemed so sudden. I held her when they put her to sleep. She was my baby…. I had her almost my whole life.

I understand that there’s literally nothing more I could do…. The vet said if I waited, she’d be in pain, and it would be futile to give treatment Bc it was not going to get better.

Idk if tarot has the capacity to do readings on pets to see if she’s okay and forgives me for putting her down but at the very least could you post this? I want people to know she was real and she was a good cat, even if she would occasionally bite the shit out of my arm when she was cranky. Dad said she was a battle axe of a cat and he’s right. She always had a fighting spirit.

As much I want to say safe travels over the rainbow bridge… I hope she followed me home. I put her favorite ribbons on the bed where she used to sleep. I asked her to come back to me in dreams if she couldn’t be here with me on Earth.

Godspeed Trixie I loved you so god damn much.

Hello love,

I want to start by saying how much I am sorry for your loss and how much my eyes held tears reading all this. And I know no matter what I say, nothing can ease the pain that you must be feeling at the moment.

On the 1st February of 2020, I lost my cat, Minou from kidney failure as well. She died at the same age as Trixie and I think the most painful thing was to watch her dying and not being able to do anything to help her. Eventually, she passed at home, in my arms.

This is to say that, sometimes we blame ourselves so much for what happens to them because we feel responsible for their life but also because we lose a part of ourselves that we cannot ever get back. I don't know what's your age, but I was 3 years old when I got Minou, she was my first and only pet while she was around, and losing her was unbearable and I cannot even describe the pain. I mourn her still today, and only recently have I been able to watch videos of her without crying.

So love, I know it hurts, but I also know that Trixie loves you even after death and that her energy and spirit will keep living on to protect you and to comfort you when you need it the most. You did well. So did she. And I am sure she forgives you. And of course, I would do a reading for Trixie, you can contact me through email if you want so we can proceed.

For now, take your time to heal, to forgive yourself, and to mourn her. But remember that Trixie will always be a part of you and that all the love she gave to you is worth the pain of today.

Trixie you were loved, and you will be missed <3

[suomeen]

Chapter 4: Hyvää Joulua

We arrived on December 21, which was just a day before the Winter Solstice, the year’s longest night. And winter nights are even longer in Finland. The sun only rose up around 9 and by 15 it got dark. It’s interesting how it moves in the sky too. It rises about 30% above the horizon, goes “nope!” and goes down again.

We stayed at the house of my mother’s Ukrainian friend, or rather, her Finn husband, Markku. He lives far from civilization, out on a hill among fields. There’s a rather notable village that’s just 5 minutes’ drive from there, [more on that later], but the house feels very secluded in winter.

Our friend is named Oksana, but in Finland everyone calls her Oona, which is supposedly a local equivalent. Oksana lived in Bucha but thankfully left the country just as the war started. She worked in Finland and met this nice local man. He’s 55, a mechanic who works at a sawmill. He used to live near Helsinki but he hated the city so he moved out into the wild. He’s tall but has a heart of a child. She’s small, 53 but looks 40 at most, a single mother who lost her parents early and had a very tough life. She looks like a kid next to him. They got married within a few months. They take good care of each other.

The next day, we drove to the city. Oksana had a doctor’s appointment and we had to go officiate our visit. Markku dropped her off at the hospital first and took us to the police department. It was a bit nerve-wrecking as we weren’t sure what to expect. I was preparing myself for some degree of humiliation, ready to tell my story to justify them welcoming us and giving us home. There was no humiliation and no hard questions asked. The staff were calm and friendly. When we were done, the young handsome officer said “Dyakuyu!” It felt very misdirected.

We then had to go to the reception centre to fill out all the forms and applications regarding our stay. We knew there shouldn’t be any issues but it was still stressful and confusing. The staff were friendly and almost seemed sorry they couldn’t do more for us. Well, the Finnish staff at least. The few Ukrainians working there always look mildly annoyed. And frankly, I can now understand why.

We took care of all our stuff and were immediately given the keys to our apartment. We went there, dropped off the bags and then left again. We were supposed to pick up Oksana afterwards but things didn’t go as planned. It was supposed to be a checkup, because her blood pressure was getting too high. Turned out 3 of her heart arteries were partly blocked and needed to be fixed. What’s more, they were ready to operate her immediately.

The hospital itself is a large regional medical complex, very spacious and modern. Cozy even, for a hospital. There are pictures on the walls that make it look like a museum. There is also a nice little cafeteria for staff and visitors where we dined. Not to mention the kind of technologies they use. They basically cleared and repaired the arteries without cutting up the chest while watching the process through some kind of 3D imaging.

The surgery went fine but they only cleared one artery, so two more surgeries were needed. But that day, she was home by evening. The bill came in later. She owed them a hefty sum of 42e.

Oksana wasn’t feeling great in the following days and we didn’t either. The stress of the trip was heavy and for days I had a vertigo and a headache. We weren’t going to stay at Markku’s place for a whole week but they insisted we stayed for Christmas and it was an hour-long ride to the city, which was hard on them, so we relented.

I am very unreligious but Christmas is all about traditions so I was curious so see how it was celebrated here. I have to say if there’s one place that’s perfect to spend Christmas in, it’s Finland. Finland on Christmas looks like a place from a Coca-Cola commercial. It’s like they made a set to film it and then forgotten all about it. Small quaint houses covered in snow, perfect pine trees and illumination, it all makes one’s heart warm.

There wasn’t a big celebration, however. Markku brought in a tree and we decorated it. We ate some of the traditional foods, including a number of gooey purees, made from sweet potatoes, beetroots, and carrot. Not a fan. On Christmas eve, we went to a cemetery to put candles. It was already dark and a very solemn sight.

Markku shares the house with his mother who is the head of the family. Around Christmas, many members of the family came to their house to have a nice little gathering. It was a good chance to observe Finns in their natural habitat.

About 15 people came, mostly women. There was no alcohol and no feast, as one would expect, just a few tables set up with tea, coffee and snacks everyone brought in. People just grabbed drinks and snacks and went to hang out wherever they wanted with whoever they wanted. Nobody was dressed up. Literally just regular comfy clothes and no make-up. The only festive elements were a few cutesy headbands with reindeer antlers. Worm by older women. It was a very quiet evening with a family catching up, exchanging sentimental gifts and singing a beautiful song at the end.

A few members tried to talk to me and some expressed their sadness at the things going on in my homeland. But most politely ignored us. Which was fine, I suppose. It was their day and we were just spectators. It didn’t feel right to ruin the innocence of this day. Who know how long they can stay in it?

[eve-to-adam]

Her whole body was shaking frantically and she felt her legs becoming so soft that she was in danger of collapsing completely on the floor. Someone pushed her, she's sure of it. Someone was behind her as she descended the stairs, she felt a touch—no, actually, a painful thrust, as if someone had driven a knee into her spine—which made her legs wobble. [...] In a single second, a second that could turn out to be terrible, Karla sees herself standing down at the bottom of the stairs. Charlie, her brother-in-law, appears before her eyes and looks at her angrily, demonically. Could she have already died and gone straight to Hell? It takes a few moments for her to realize that she is perched high in his arms - she doesn't even remember how she got there. "I thought I was going to fall and die!" she says, letting out a tortured scream. Tears begin to flood her big, glassy eyes, hidden under her tousled bangs. "We'll think about it in detail after you give birth," replied Charlie in a frozen tone, moving a little further away from the arch that, a few minutes before, could serve as her grave. "And stop pulling my hair so hard, for God's sake!" "Yes...", she answered between hiccups, without fully understanding the meaning of his words. All she feels is panic. It's as if she lost her ability to think. She is wrapped in a cocoon of fear and the death she just avoided. If Charlie hadn't been here to catch her... Karla instinctively nestles closer to his body, clinging desperately to his warmth, as if using it as a shield against the world. She is ready to show Charlie how grateful she is to him for saving her life. She needs a few seconds to collect herself, to formulate a few simple words of gratitude. She opens her mouth like a rosebud, but Charlie interrupts her: "You should be more careful. It's a bit harder to clean the blood here." She remains speechless for another moment, shocked by his answer. She refuses to believe that this is what his actions are all about. All the warmth she felt in those moments - no, in fact, all her gratitude - dissipates as quickly as a cloud of fog.

A small tremor brings her completely to reality - Charlie is not her savior and he never will be, he is a demon incarnated in flesh and blood, her biggest nightmare. "Put me down you monster!" she cried, writhing in his arms, trying to push him away. His touch on her skin burns her; his image makes her nauseous. She needs to get rid of this horrible feeling, even at the risk of collapsing on the floor. "If you insist...". For a moment, Karla has the impression that he will simply throw her down, so she clings to him even more.

"Don't you dare touch me ever again!", she threatens him, almost bursting into tears, as soon as she feels the floor under her feet. She moves away as far as possible, nervously tightening her shirt around her body. Her clothes smell like him, dammit! "I'll keep that in mind the next time I see you flying down the stairs." Retreating to the enormous stone vault of the great hall, Karla watches him walk away. She can't fall now, even if her legs are weak and giving way to the pressure. No, she won't. She will not give him the opportunity to laugh at her again. He sees her instinctively cupping her belly with her palms, as if looking for a sign that would banish her dark thoughts. "You'd better prove yourself useful this time," he warns her viciously, as he walks away towards the hall leading to the exit. "No one wants to see Vincent disappointed again." Maybe if he hadn't punctuated her darkest thought, she wouldn't have felt so miserable. He knows that she is not a woman that you can hurt easily. For years, she had to endure his taunts and along the way, she learned that sometimes, to his amusement, it is better to return his malice with elegance. But now it was about more than that - and this thought only darkened her perspectives even more. Now, Karla will not only have to endure, but to try and buy back the life she just owed him. Because everyone knows that there is no greater chore on earth than being indebted to Charlie Elkins.

(Volume II)

( © Karla and Charlie Elkins are my original characters and they are part of the project that my good friend @teodoraioana221  and I are working on together. )  

[firespirited]

40 years and 3 weeks ago, Mum collapsed at work and was put on hospital bed rest with one walk a day. Detached placenta, high blood pressure for her, not enough nutrients to the baby.

Readmore for length

She thought she'd go bonkers from boredom but she'd underestimated how tired she was. My parents had bought a house, they couldn't really afford one so they'd soon have lodgers but they'd move in April 1st and were going to have it ready by the time their kid arrived early may at the soonest.

March 31st, morning, the weekly scans revealed that baby had a better chance of survival out than in and they gave mum the hormones. She went into labour while fretting about dad's parents, dad and friends moving the boxes in without her. Contractions happened but no baby. The staff left leaving a skeleton night shift. At 1 am, mum knew something was terribly wrong and this quiet spoken very polite shy woman started to call for help then screamed and yelled like never before.

An intern arrived, stuck a baby monitor on the belly, waited 3 seconds, dropped the sides of the bed and the brakes and ran to the OR.

That morning mum came around to dad excitedly waving a Polaroid at her. He'd just spent time telling his baby all about the important things in life: mountains rivers nature while she grabbed his little finger tightly.

"It's our baby, we had a baby!"

"What baby???"

We met a few hours later, her in scrubs and me in my incubator. She'd worked as a social worker counselling people on their options when they were young parents or parents of ill or disabled babies. She'd spent 3 weeks trying to not imagine all the bad things she'd seen but her baby was, quote: a wriggly pink baby, tiny but wriggly, with no bottom like a hairless monkey.

3 weeks later, after smearing baby poop all over my incubator because preemie nappies/diapers hadn't been mass manufactured yet and mine went up to my armpits but could also be wriggled off, I went home, wearing new clothes knitted by Nanny from doll patterns and towel cloth nappies. Many of the moving boxes didn't get unpacked for a couple years.

When I was old enough to speak, mum asked to be 'mum' not the local 'mam' so that she'd be able to single me out from a crowd. My first real food was weetabix and it became my main staple through childhood, I was disappointed at 2 that my parents didn't choose a brown baby from the hospital as I hated sunscreen lotion almost as much as the burns, my first special interest at 3 was mum's pregnancy with sis and how to raise a baby. My parents made the mistake of calling it an 'us' affair and indulging my need to be read the "how to prepare for your pregnancy and birth" medical book every night. I was livid that I wasn't allowed to go help mum deliver the baby when the time came. That's a whole other story.

Living to 40 and her 65 has been quite the battle and while we always cared for each other, seeing eye to eye was tough, forgiving old neglects was work, we both got a lousy hand. Being able to be there for her as she has for me has been rewarding and healing for the both of us. Getting to know her again as an adult has felt like being 8 again and chatting our heads off about life the universe and everything while peeling potatoes.

[blackjackkent]

Melissan's body hits the platform with a dull thud and Caden stands above her, his sword at her throat. He wants her dead - for the safety of Faerun, primarily, but there is also a painful throb of Bhaal's lingering power at the back of his mind, demanding vengeance...destruction...murder...

He squeezes the sword, closes his eyes tightly, gasps for breath in the stifling heat...

And a voice breaks through the chaos, driving the place to utter stillness in an instant.

Melissan, writhing on the floor in utter rage and desperation, reaches up and grabs the blade of Caden's sword, trying to twist it out of his hands. Blood wells between her fingers and smears on the metal and she screams like a wounded animal.

The solar looks on, unimpressed, at this show of panic.

Light flashes from the angel's fingertips, striking into Melissan at the eyes and then surging over her whole body. The woman goes abruptly rigid, then topples to one side, silent and still on the platform.

As if nothing at all had happened. the solar turns to look at Caden with that unruffled, detached smile.

At Caden's side, Imoen shifts, then steps forward to stand next to him, her head high in spite of the fear he can see in every line of her face.

Caden almost laughs - certainly it can't be so easy - but the sound dies on his lips as another wave of blue-white light washes over them. He hears Imoen gasp, and then she sags slightly, one hand going to her chest, feeling the emptiness there where Bhaal's power lay. Then she relaxes, looks to Caden and smiles cautiously.

Caden feels tension spread through his whole body at once as the solar's eyes turn back upon him again. He swallows, tries to stand as straight as possible, even though all he wants to do is lie down forever. The blood is still dripping off his blade onto the floor.

Caden listens, staring at her in wonder. What she describes...it sounds like unmitigated bliss. To live as a man with no touch of a god in his veins? To live among his friends, with no need to fight or to shoulder the burden of the world? To be free?

He is so tired. He wants to lay his head in Aerie's lap and sleep for a year. He wants freedom and life and home so badly that it aches in his chest.

How can there be another choice than this? What else could the solar possibly think he would want?

Oh. Of course.

Caden feels slightly dizzy, a wave of nausea rising in his throat. With a word, he could turn the course of the gods. He could claim his murderous father's power - perhaps for good, or perhaps until his mind cracked with the overwhelming evil.

The solar speaks as if this is some tempting choice, as if something about this would call to him more than the idea of life and freedom. And, more astonishing than that...his friends think he might be tempted, too.

Rasaad is the first to speak, and it's evident he is trying very carefully to be controlled, impartial.

Caden once again feels his throat tighten with unshed tears, unable to speak. The affirmation means more than he can say, the confidence from this man whose opinion he values above almost all others that he would make a good use of this terrible power...

But he does not want it.

The others circle around him, and he can see the muted grief in their eyes - all of them ready to bid farewell to someone who has meant so much to them. There is the attitude of a funeral in every expression. Their words tumble out over each other, each of them feeling some pressure of time slipping away and desperate to make sure he hears them before he disappears.

But in the midst of them all is Aerie, who has gone very still while the solar spoke, and her eyes are locked on Caden's as if even to blink would be to lose a moment with him.

He reaches out, grabs her hand tightly and presses it to his lips, shaking his head. His throat feels stuck, and all the words he wants to say won't come out - I'm not going, I won't do it, I want to go home, I want to live, I want to be yours, always...

What emerges instead is ragged and hoarse, a few stammering words that do not do his heart justice.

Tears well in her eyes and she throws herself against him, wrapping her arms tightly around him, face pressed into his shoulder where he feels his shirt dampen from her tears.

He holds her against him, presses his face into her hair. Even as he struggles to articulate his feelings, he can sense the solar watching them, those burning eyes digging into the back of his head.

Is he making the wrong choice? To deny an angel when it offers him such power? Is Rasaad right? Could he use it for good?

She hiccups, trying to control the overwhelming fear that has her clinging to him, and nods slightly against his shoulder. He can see her struggling to square her shoulders, to be brave as she has learned to be in their adventures together. And even as his heart aches for that fear and love that he feels from her in equal measure, he is proud too - so proud of who she has become.

And in that moment, as she gathers herself to stand alone, he knows that his first instinct was right. He cannot leave these people, this world, this life. This is where he belongs.

She starts to draw back, but he holds her to him, catches her cheek in his palm and turns her eyes to his. "Don't fear, my love," he whispers, and tips his head to press his lips against her mouth. "Don't fear," he whispers against her skin. "You will never be alone. Not today, or ever."

He lifts his head, glances to the others, meeting each gaze intently. Some steadiness has returned to his bearing, and he says, with a sudden calm certainty, "I am not going anywhere."

The solar has been watching this play out, expression unmoved but suddenly intensely interested.

The solar tilts her head slowly to one side - and then smiles, the first true smile Caden has yet seen from her.

A ripple of uncertainty and then relief passes through all of his companions in a moment. Imoen grins widely and throws an arm around his shoulders, hugging him tight to her side.

The others gather around him, grins bursting on to each face in turn - but Aerie's reaction is the only one that he truly has eyes for. If her grief tore at his heart, her joy is similarly all-consuming; he thinks he could simply drink in the light in her eyes for all of the life now remaining to him.

Her arms are around him and her face back in his chest, and his friends are on all sides like a protective wall against everything that he has endured. And they are free, all of them.

It is over... The idea is bewildering, overwhelming. None of them seem quite able to process it.

The solar waves a hand, and the teleportation spell wraps around them.

The last thing they see as they disappear from the platform is the harsh green light lancing out to envelop Melissan's body, and the last thing they hear is her scream of rage and agony.

[nanatsuyu]

Hi! I really love what I’ve read of your Aftg fics especially your kandrew piece even if it takes years… I thought it was such a perfectly ic take on the dynamic and the initial right-pereon-wrong-time of it all with a happy/hopeful ending. I was wondering if you have any headcanons or thoughts about what you think happens next for that version of kandrew in this verse? Just because I’m obsessed and can’t stop thinking about them <3

O-oh this is so kind 🥺🧡 I have a few lil ideas here and there for them!

They didn't immediately move in together or anything. Andrew was finishing up courses and I think they were still a bit raw from being out of each other's orbit. (Andrew eventually finds the excuse to continue his PhD in Kevins city and they eventually drop the whole tiptoeing thing and move in together)

Tw: sobriety and alcoholism: before the move Andrew tells Kevin he needs to get it sorted because he's not going through that twice (he would, but that's not something he wants to admit) its easier than he expects with the source of his stress no longer at arms length

Kevin sheepishly gets caught up on the others lives that Andrew keeps in touch with when they visit and vice versa. Renee acts as if there was no issue and delights in seeing him.

Aaron does not lol Always more perceptive than he's given credit, the first holiday he shows up to with Kevin present, he takes him aside. (Imagine a very surly Aaron cupping his toddlers head to his chest to cover her ears while he says something to Kevin) Andrew has never been made privy to what was said but Kevin looks a little pale every time it's brought up

Andrew adopts a sphinx and a maine coone. They grow on Kevin despite how awkward he is around how to handle pets.

Andrew attends all the home games in his own private seating. Kevin demands he tells him what went wrong with any play. (Andrew can't tell if hes working with a praise or degradation thing and Kevin finds the joke unnecessary to the conversation at hand)

Kevin no longer has to see a doctor about his high blood pressure after Andrew comes round

Andrew doesn't work a bar for obvious reasons and ends up working in adolescent programs for those who have had to sit through court hearings in any capacity. It's more self soothing than he lets on.

He doesn't talk to Kevin much about the anecdotal parts of his job, but there's no offense in it. Bee's still there for that part. (She also says she's very happy to see him content and he thinks that's a good word for it)

The press loses their mind one day when someone sees that Kevin is wearing a chain around his neck, looped through a ring. Andrew is far more careful about keeping his tucked in his shirt. There's never a formal ceremony but neither of them had much interest in one. (Andrew was the one who bought them)

Wymack has never been less surprised by anything in his life when Kevin told him that Andrew had moved in

They act just as old and married as they did in college and it hits Andrew like a brick when they're arguing about paint swatches in home depot for some house project years later. Andrew wins the fight and almost gets them kicked out of the store for being a little too affectionate about his epiphany

Idk I think they'd be content (read: happy) after a while 🥺🧡

[sepyana]

Jjba Diamond Is Unbreakable Ep 18-29 Thoughts

Ep 18-19

I feel like this arc would have worked just fine if it was a single episode. I think it drags a bit too long.

Our new character for this arc is Shigechi. I think his design and stand is way too good and it's a shame he is only in a few episodes before he dies. Characterwise he needs work, the show tries too hard to make you feel bad for him in the end. But that's because he only has like 2 episodes to build his character. I can't help but like him though. He is a prick but in his defense he is like 12.

Design wise they are both simple and unique (in Jojo). Which is a hard combination to find in jojo I think. Plus they are really goofy, especially Harvest. Onto the episodes:

It's funny that Josuke has a stronger reaction to having no cash on hand compared to Red Hot Chili Pepper almost killing Okuyasu. If I had Crazy Diamond my whole life I would be the same way too probably but It's still funny to think about.

Okuyasu is quickly becoming my favorite character. His expressions, his voice all come together to create an absolute goofball.

I will never forget jojo fans for what you guys did to Kakyoin. He says one awkward line and the jojo fans won't shut the fuck up about it for years yet Okuyasu -who called someone's mom hot when he first saw them on multiple occasions- flies under the radar somehow. I am thankful for it, I wouldn't want Okuyasu to get the same treatment too.

Speaking of him, I've been looking thru sdc stuff and wow do people want him in part 4. Making "What if they were alive?" AUs are a common thing obviously but I've never seen it be this huge. Sometimes I'll see part 4 posts where Kak (Sometimes Avdol and Pol too) will be in it without acknowlegding that they are dead (missing in Pol's case). They are just there.

I do get why, Morioh is brimming with stand users and most of them aren't trying to kill people Kak's whole thing is that he is lonely because he can't find other stand users like him. Also I've read CDDH and apparently he is from Morioh. I think we don't need another crusader when Jotaro is part of the main cast already but the thought of Kak with heart shaped sunglasses is not lost on me.

I was gonna use another screencap but this is funny out of context

Do they don't know they can jump high with their stands? Maybe it's something you have to learn.

Ep 20

Wow...... I wonder what the message of this episode is.

It's generic and subtle as a brick to the face but for someone like Araki? who only stumbles onto themes on accident? This is huge.

It makes a lot more sense for Yukako to be still be with Koichi, instead of, "Just being able to like him is enough for me" act she had going on.

Our stand user for this arc is Aya. She speaks like she has low blood pressure and she like invading people's personal spaces.

I laughed out loud when I first saw her stand. Those are not boobas those are kikis. I do like her stand. It might just be my bias towards pink.

He brings Koichi with him everywhere because he is the only person that can tolarate him. He is just some guy. Josuke is suppose to be the type of character you wanna be friends with but everyone loves Koichi cuz he is just a guy. The funniest thing is that is the exact reason Yukako gives as to why she likes him. He is like the token cishet of JoJo.

Honestly? I like Yukako. I wasn't really expecting it cuz I hate yandere/tsundere or whatever type characters but she is entertaining just because of how off of her rockers she is.

My favourite part of the episode is when Koichi tells Josuke and Okuyasu he and Yukako kissed and Josuke almost falls from the window from shock while Okuyasu looks like he has died.

And then Josuke goes "What did you say she did to you?!? That girl never learns" because of course he would think she forced him to do that, considering her track record and all.

Josuke's reaction after hearing Koichi say he likes her to says everything. Like girl what.

I love how Josuke is just casually talking all the while Okuyasu is crying in his arms. Later Josuke still has one hand on his shoulder while Okuyasu cries but he is also completely ignoring him. Love that for them.

It's so wild that Koichi tells Aya to fucking *blind him* just so Yukako won't feel bad. Both of these people are insane and they deserve each other.

Nice attention to detail that he asks Aya to blind *his stand* since he can see through his stand's eyes otherwise.

Ep 21

While I was watching this part i was like there is no way he is gonna li- ohh noo

One thing I really like about Kira is that we will sometimes see what he is up to from his perspective. It's partially here but really shows up in the Stray Cat arc. He is not the type of guy to be plotting or thinking about the heroes all the time so it's just Kira's adventures. His silly adventure. And he is being incredibly pathetic about it with the most smug expressionsyou've ever seen.

Plus it's fun seeing the heroes from an outside perspective for the entire episode.

They say your stand reflects your soul. I have no idea what a wrestler cat with a thousand yard stare is suppose to say about Kira.

Killer Queen is the best stand btw. I will not debate on this. Just look at her. Kira doesn't deserve her, she is way too good of a stand for a guy whose whole thing is wanting a quiet life (besides the murders) (ignore the murders).

Ep 22

Araki reeeally wants to make you feel sorry for Shigechi. How am I suppose to believe people will just ignore a fellow student on the verge of death just because he is ugly. If it was some strangers down the road then yeah sure but this just looks stupid.

Shigechi going to heaven in the exact same state he was in when he died. Crusaders also get stuck in the same expression when they get their souls ripped out of their body. I'm not sure if this was intentional or not.

"I doubt he'll come to my shop but I'll keep an eye out." Girl you have NO idea

Seeing Koichi next to Jotaro you'd think he is around 90cm or so but apparently he is suppose to be 157cm. I was looking at the Jojowiki and noticed that earlier. The canon weights for the characters make zero sense btw.

Koichi:"Rohan always forces me to go to places" Andkasjskdshsjs??

Ep 23-24

What the fuck happened here.

Sheer heart attack is like the world's most evil roomba. If I was kire I would simply tape knives on that thang and set it loose inside my house.

I hate Koichi's shieking so much it's unreal.

I think the remote control stands are a really cool concept. Kira functionally having two stands though? Ehhhh... I not a fan of that to be honest. Sheer Heart Attack is basically it's own stand, sure, it's gimmicky but it's also really strong if you don't know how it works. I understand why Araki would want to break the rules for Killer Queen, It's hard to make her look like a threat compared to Star Platinum or Crazy Diamond.

Sheer Heart Attack bring completely neutralized by such a simple trick is why I love stands so much. Hamon is like if everyone had Mew but with different levels and moves. Stands are more like "everyone has different Pokemon but they are all at the same level". Some are obviously stronger than others but even the strongest ones have some sort of trick or Pokemon that counters them, or at least checks them.

I think Act 3 is less interesting compared to act 2 design and ability wise.

You know, I thought Kira's theme was too goofy for me to take seriously at first but it did hit pretty hard here.

I did say I don't like Koichi's VA very much but his confontation with Kira was pretty good.

Fucking christ.

Can we take a moment to appreciate how good the English dub is. Especially Kira (and Jotaro but I already talked about him during part 3).

Ep 25

The way they handled Kira's new identity is genuinely cool. As mentioned in this episode, Kira doesn't have anyone he is even remotely close to. Not having any dynamics with other people could definitely work for a character but it could also make them boring.

Kira now has to deal with Shinobu who is in a full marridge feeling love for the first time when Kira replaces her husband, and Hayato who is definitely knows something is up because he has never seen his parents have a positive interaction before, ever.

This is before Araki had the most horrible case of same face syndrome so Kira's new face does look slightly different. I like that his pitch black eyes get a pink glow whenever he summons Killer Queen.

I don't have much to say on this and the next few episodes. The Hand doesn't get a change to do anything, again, god forbid.

Ep 26

Rohan jumping in front of the bus Jesus style was pretty funny and I liked Rohan and Joseph's interactions. I also like Shizuka otherwise this episode sucks I don't wanna talk about it more

Ep 27

This episode and the one after it straight up confirm aliens are a thing and knowing Araki, I doubt this will come up again ever.

Mikitaka is actually just like me for real because I too lose my shit whenever I have to hear sirens and alarms (Misophonia)

I think he is a bit too generic, I also don't like how mamy symbols he has on his outfit. Also someone buy him brown contacts.

It's really funny that the first thing he does with an alien friend who can shapeshift is: take Rohan's money in a bet and piss him off.

Ep 28-29

Love that the op starts right after Rohan stabs himself.

He knows that Josuke wouldn't leave without healing him. Also because he is insane and willing the hurt himself and let his house burn down just to know how Josuke cheated.

I like the interactions between the two of them a lot. Josuke annoys him sure, but Rohan is a petty and stubborn asshole who gets upset just at the though of Josuke being happy. He is mad at Josuke for beating him up even though he knows Josuke beats the shit out of people who insult his hair. There is no way that isn't written in Koichi's files. He is just upset that he is experiencing the consequences of his actions. He is beefing with a 15 year old.

The action for this arc is pretty good.

I normally don't mention this because they tend to be brief but the sniffing and the walking noises Highway Star makes annoys me to no end. I am really bad with this stuff.

I especially like the addition of Koichi. He can be a piece of shit sometimes, like in the lock guy episode. I find that pretty funny personally.

It's been a while. I was on vacation for 2 weeks so I didn't have much time to write this.

I don't think I am going to do these posts for part 5 because I will not be able to finish the show otherwise. I don't watch new episodes before I write these (except for maybe a few) since I prefer it that way. I still might do something similar for part 6. We'll see. The issue is I wanna write all my thoughts but I am not good at being coherent.