#she is now drawing these two getting married which shes having a terrible time with bsvause she hates them but. wedding!!!! :DDDDD

[eyelessfog]

@bunnyfella

I am indeed fascinated and intrigued

im so happy

okay so to start it off, it’s about pokemon. about pokemon black & white specifically. my best friend & i are huge fans of this game in particular, and talk about it together often. sometimes we’re having deep thoughts about what this or that means. sometimes we’re just looking at lines and going waugh. sometimes, we notice something, and then look at each other with the kind of horror that having too much knowledge can cause.

in pokemon b&w, the main bad guy’s name is ghetsis. he’s, for the sake of speed, an asshole. there’s so much more here, but that’s enough for this bit.

he has these other six guys who follow his lead - the seven sages, and he’s one of them. one of these sages is named zinzolin.

zinzolin is. well he has many problems, but if you were to offer him exactly one word, i think it would be “cold.” this man is an ice type trainer, who goes from place that’s snowing to place covered in ice to place that’s freezing, and then complains about the cold.

to explain how badly this man in particular has invaded my friend’s mind, if she realizes she’s cold, she will suddenly think of him. he plagues her. she hates him with a passion.

now, the reason for this hatred is that we have, as it happens, decided that zinzolin is down so fucking bad for ghetsis.

this revelation came to us when we were making a very sad and symbolic au, see. and we decided that this - whatever they have - needs to be messy and hilarious.

therefore, they are friends with benefits, and ghetsis thinks it’s no homo. and also that this is 100% part of the manipulation to keep zinzolin on his side.

zinzolin is aware that it is very homo, and has no clue ghetsis is attempting to manipulate him, but he’s in love with his boss and whatever he’s doing is working, so 👍👍👍

alright, now to the explanation of the blocks:

zinzolin is obvious. i introduced him as cold. i’d put him in a freezer if i could. he puts himself in a freezer twice, so i don’t have to.

ghetsis, on the other hand is more complex than that… he’s not so easy to put in a box…. he’s many things, he’s a very evil guy, he has so many parts to him-

and yet he’s so extremely simple, to the point where a couple hours ago i compared him to a concrete wall, and realized that the metaphor works extremely well. the metaphor is a different story entirely, but it explains the use of the concrete block very quickly.

so, the idea of the ghetzolin ship is horrific to my friend, and so i did my very best to simplify if as much as possible, while still making it obvious to the two of us, in the know.

as you’ll recall, her response:

now, onto a couple minutes later:

i’ve been done explaining my concrete wall metaphor for a long while now, but i’ve just realized something.

and my wording leads me to realize something else

which are just a couple very simple and common words that cause the best reaction of all time, that left me cry laughing into my hands:

the sound was not unlike badly playing the trumpet into a pillow

[saintobio]

sincerely yours. (11)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. depression, cheating, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships

notes. 12k wc. we're so close to the finale <3 thanks so much for the continued support and for the patience you guys have with this series :')

series masterlist -> episode twelve

For better and worse. 

Weddings are funny things. Despite the strict adherence to ceremonial traditions, they didn’t guarantee a happily ever after. Exchanging vows and the signing of marriage certificates could become meaningless when a couple faces challenges that would drive them apart. Consider the high-profile divorces of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, or Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Divorce had become so common that it almost seemed inevitable for many couples, even the ones with the most fairytale-like relationships. No one was safe from the idea of a divorce. So, was having a wedding really that important? Would it really define the quality and longevity of a relationship?

Satoru might have been thinking bitterly about it, given that his own marriage wasn’t exactly a shining success. However, he was also being rational when he said that weddings weren’t necessary to prove your love for each other. Early in his marriage, he certainly wasn’t the best husband, but over time, he learned to genuinely become a good partner to his ex-wife. There was no specific time frame for loving someone. You could be together for weeks, months, or years, yet the depth of love you share might remain unchanged. This constancy can be either a blessing or a curse, depending on how deep your love was from the beginning.

Well… On the topic of marriages, Satoru had no good thing to say. But that didn’t mean he shouldn’t participate in it. Weddings were still considered a special celebration for families and close friends, and He would be selfish not to share in such a beautiful event with his best friends. Besides, wasn’t it always expected that Suguru and Shoko would end up marrying each other? They were lucky—fortunate because their marriage was built on a foundation of genuine love. In contrast, Satoru’s marriage began out of convenience, which ultimately led to all the terrible things that followed.

As the best man, Satoru strode confidently alongside Suguru down the aisle, both adorned in princely tuxedos, drawing the eyes of the guests as they followed their procession. There were teasing remarks, smiles all around, and even a comment from one of the groom’s female cousins about how handsome they both looked. Despite the gentle commotion, Satoru understood why Suguru remained nervous as they reached the end of the aisle. He comfortingly stood by his side, offered a reassuring pat on the back, silently communicating to his best friend that everything would be alright.

“Don’t tell me you’ll back out now,” Satoru jested, whispering in Suguru’s ear as they observed the guests entering in accordance with the processional order.

Suguru, with his once long hair now neatly trimmed and slicked back, cleared his throat in an attempt to appear less anxious. “What if she gets cold feet?” 

Gojou couldn’t help but tease. “Shoko? You really think she’d have cold feet?” he chuckled. “She’d be the one dragging your ass back to this garden if you tried to run away.”

“Fair enough.” 

Just the night before, they had checked into the Hoshinoya Fuji to celebrate Suguru's last night of freedom. While there was drinking involved, one of the groomsmen insisted it wouldn’t be a proper bachelor’s party without some female company. So, inevitably, there were women in the hotel room, one of whom even gave Suguru a lap dance even though he showed no interest whatsoever. It was amusing to Satoru, considering his best friend used to be the biggest casanova, and now he was a committed and loyal man who, not only was terrified out of his wits on his wedding day, but was also afraid that the one woman he loved might run away from him.

Such genuine, pure love. 

As Satoru pondered, his gaze landed on Akemi, who was seated a couple of rows back among the other guests. She had just arrived, her hair tied elegantly in a low ponytail and her silky sage dress accentuating her womanly figure flawlessly. She was wearing the diamond Tiffany & Co. earrings he had gifted her, which made her stand out among the rest of the people in that garden. Their eyes also met at the perfect moment, her gaze sparkling upon seeing Satoru in his tuxedo. He offered her a smile, one that silently conveyed ‘I’ll be there with you later,’ and she immediately understood. 

How fortunate was Satoru to have her? Perhaps the reason for her late appearance was because she had been looking after Sachiro back home, fulfilling the duties that his ex-wife should have been doing. She was truly a mother who stepped up, especially during a time when both he and his son felt most abandoned.

And what about you? Who knew if you would even attend the wedding? You were meant to be Ieiri’s maid-of-honor, yet you were conspicuously absent. Perhaps you were still in Monaco, enjoying your time playing house with Toji, making a wedding like this seem insignificant to you. You would have informed Miwa in advance and picked up Sachiro if you had returned to Tokyo, right? Suguru also hadn’t mentioned anything about your arrival at the accommodation, hinting that someone else would have to step in as Shoko's maid-of-honor.

But who would it be? Shoko’s cousin? One of her other female co-workers? Her high school friend? 

“Look, mom! She’s beautiful~”

Satoru was rendered speechless, utterly captivated by the sight before him. His fingers tingled with anticipation, his heart raced in his chest, his feet felt rooted to the ground, and his eyes remained fixed on the next lady gracefully making her way down the aisle. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what struck him the most: was it the sight of you in a stunning light green dress, resembling an angel descended from the heavens, or was it the haunting reminder of his own wedding day, when you walked down the same aisle as his most beautiful bride?

His breath caught in his throat, his chest tightening with each step you took down the aisle. Satoru felt like a statue, frozen in place, unable to tear his gaze away from you. You had become the sole focus of his attention, the rest of the world fading into a blur around him. He couldn’t comprehend it. Why was it so effortless for him to let his guard down around you?

This woman, he thought. This woman is Sachiro’s mother. This was the same woman that carried his flesh and blood for nine months, now appearing as radiant as a freshly bloomed flower, as if untouched by the stresses of unexpected motherhood. What had transpired in Monaco to transform you into this vision of beauty?

“You’re drooling.” Suguru nudged him on the chest. “This isn’t your wedding. You had your chance.” 

Yes, he was well aware. This wasn’t his wedding, and he needed to maintain composure. Yet, it felt as though he was being drawn inexorably towards the mesmerizing goddess before him. With each beat of his heart quickening, he struggled to remind himself: No, Satoru. She's nothing to you now.

And because he was lost in a trance, he remained oblivious to the bride’s entrance and even Suguru’s emotional reaction to seeing his bride. His attention was solely fixated on you as he stole glances your way whenever he could. It wasn’t until the exchanging of rings, when you two had to stand side by side to assist the bride and groom, that he snapped back to reality. With you so close yet seemingly distant, Satoru felt a pang of disappointment as you never returned his gaze. The whispers and side comments from the guests also added to his discomfort, making him acutely aware of the scrutiny placed upon the best man and maid-of-honor.

“Aren’t they divorced?”

“Yeah, their marriage was a wreck.” 

“They’re bad luck. I hope they don’t pass it onto the couple.”  

For the first time in a long time, Satoru was gripped by an unprecedented desire to retort, to refute the misconceptions surrounding his marriage. Yet, he knew it was futile. Engaging in a verbal sparring match with another guest would only ruin his best friends' special day. Moreover, he might risk causing unintentional hurt to Akemi by defending a marriage that had long ceased to exist. So, despite the internal turmoil, he remained silent, allowing the whispers to persist unchecked.

And, with that, the wedding ceremony ended. Shoko and Suguru were now declared husband and wife. 

— — 

The reception was a time for socializing, enjoying drinks and hors d’oeuvres, and congratulating the newlyweds. For Suguru and Shoko, this part of the celebration felt effortless and their energies were seamlessly complementing each other’s. Unlike arranged marriages, there was no sense of haste or coercion; theirs was a union born of genuine affection. You couldn’t help but feel foolish for ever entertaining the notion that this was merely a conventional wedding experience. Here, before your eyes, unfolded a true celebration of love between two people.

Did Satoru share the same sentiments? You wondered what thoughts raced through his mind during the proceedings. Did the event trigger memories of his own past, or stir feelings of longing for what could have been?

You refused to subject yourself to the torment of dwelling on your past. If anything, your time living alone in Monaco had been a crucial step in your healing journey. While the process was far from complete, that solitary retreat had provided a much-needed respite from the source of your stress. It afforded you the opportunity to contemplate the life you were destined to lead, albeit alone for the foreseeable future.

By allowing Sachiro to spend more time with his father, you not only facilitated the rebuilding of their fractured relationship, but also acclimated your child to your absence. It was a necessary adjustment, one that would prepare him for the reality of your impending solitary existence. At least, Sachiro had a chance to live in a loving household with Satoru and Akemi, instead of a miserable and lonely way of living together with you. 

In the end, it was all for your child. 

As for the potential emotional minefield of attending this wedding, you were there for Shoko, who had always been a steadfast and understanding presence in your life. Her genuine friendship meant more to you than mere familial bonds ever could. Even at the risk of stirring up unhealthy emotions by being in a room full of people who hurt you, you couldn’t bear to disappoint Ieiri. 

Admittedly though, navigating the wedding crowd was a delicate balance of warmth and formality. Ieiri’s side of the family, who were doctors heavily acquainted with your family, greeted you with genuine warmth. While Suguru’s relatives, who were more closely tied to the Gojou family, maintained a polite distance. Although there were occasional moments of discomfort, you knew how to maintain composure throughout. 

As for Toji’s absence, while a part of you wished he could have been there as a supportive presence, you also recognized the value in learning to handle situations involving your ex-husband independently. He had an unavoidable business trip, but that also provided an opportunity for you to stop relying on him and navigate such occasions like these on your own. He was nothing more than a friend now. 

While that ex-husband, Satoru, was here with your best friend. It didn’t surprise you that he had brought Akemi as a plus one. In fact, you had expected it to happen. It just wasn’t the best feeling to be the maid-of-honor when the best man clearly had another lady for it in mind. 

It was quite amusing, too. Not once had Akemi approached you during the reception. You understood that she wanted to keep her distance, but you found it disrespectful that she was ignoring your existence. Was she scared to talk to you? Scared of what you had to say? You had heard over a million hurtful things from other people, yet she was afraid to hear a few pieces of advice from you?  

Forget it. Forget her and Satoru. Focus on the reception, Y/N. 

But really, how could you? As the moment arrived for the newlyweds’ first dance, tradition dictated that the best man and maid-of-honor should also take to the floor. You sensed the tension in the air as Satoru hesitated, surrounded by urging groomsmen, deciding whether or not he should ask you for a dance. He looked like he was battling with what was right and wrong in his mind, yet ultimately he chose to pass by you, extending his hand to Akemi instead.

It wasn’t feelings of shame that slapped you to reality. It was seeing Satoru holding Akemi’s hand, another on her waist, as they slowly danced to Can’t Help Falling In Love, a song that was played on your wedding day. 

Take my hand

Take my whole life too

Oh, for I can’t help

Falling in love with you

It shouldn’t hurt anymore. You were doing better. You were doing so good, you were doing… you were okay. You should be okay. Or did you overestimate your emotions a little too much? Because this, seeing the man you loved with all your heart holding another woman in his arms, was tortuous to your soul. You could feel the pains of your past tugging at your heart, wondering why he never danced like that with you on your wedding day? Why he never stared at you like you were the most beautiful girl in the world, why he never showed you off in a room full of curious people, why he never respected you enough to treat you with such… with such love. 

“Everything okay?”

You didn’t expect Nanami, out of all people, to be offering you a handkerchief. You hadn’t even realized that your eyes were already pooling of the tears if he had not cut you out of trance, offering a comforting and sympathetic smile. You had to blink multiple times just to push your tears back in. 

“Yeah,” you answered with a grateful expression. I’m strong. I’ll be fine. “Thank you.” 

Nanami took that as a sign to offer his hand. “Care for a dance, then?” 

Wiping your eyes, you nodded, smiling at the man. “Why not?” 

After the dance, the reception continued as follows. The cake cutting, the dinner service, then the toasts and speeches. If it wasn’t for Nanami, you wouldn’t have been able to pick yourself back up after the humiliation of seeing Satoru and Akemi dancing together. You just needed a decent amount of air to breathe and gather yourself together again. It was a nice help from someone who wasn’t a personal acquaintance of yours, that despite being Satoru’s right hand man in the company, Nanami still had some kindness in him that you would forever be thankful for. 

And when it was time for you to do your speech as the MOH, you didn’t let a single vulnerable emotion slip out of you. For that short moment, you tried not to think about who was in the audience, about what they thought of you, and about what other preconceived notions they had of you. You focused on the newlyweds as you stood in front of the mic stand, eye-to-eye with Shoko and Suguru, who were holding each other’s hands. 

“Shoko,” you began, smiling genuinely at the couple, “Through the laughter and tears, you’ve been my constant, my confidante, my rock. And today, as I watch you embark on this new chapter of your life, I’m honestly a bit overwhelmed with emotion.” 

The bride returned your smile, and you can tell Shoko was holding back tears of her own as she glanced between you and Satoru. 

You continued your speech, observing Suguru’s supportive gesture towards his wife as you spoke. “Shoko, I recall our late-night conversations, the tears shed over broken marriages, and the pain of shattered relationships. Yet, through it all, you’ve remained steadfast in your belief in love, in hope, in the possibility of a happily ever after.” Turning to Suguru, although he still had that lingering discomfort around you, you offered him nothing but heartfelt words. “As I look at you and Suguru, I’m reminded that true love exists—a love that is patient, kind, and enduring. My wish for you both is a lifetime filled with laughter, joy, and unwavering support for each other. May you cherish each other’s hearts, protect each other’s dreams, and weather life’s storms together, stronger in your love. Suguru, during your challenging days as a married couple, I pray that you always look at Shoko and remember why you love her. I pray that you will always have the capacity to cherish and respect her as your wife and the future mother of your children. May you keep her in your heart, no matter what challenges may come your way.”

As tears welled in Ieiri’s eyes, your voice faltered, the magnitude of your wishes for their marriage weighing heavily on your own unfulfilled desires. You weren’t trying to make this about you, and you hoped they thought that, too. 

“As I raise my glass to toast this beautiful union,” you said, raising the champagne glass on your hand, “I do so with a heart full of love and a silent prayer—that your love story will be one of triumph, of healing, and of endless happiness. Congratulations, Shoko and Suguru!”

— —

Satoru was deeply affected by your speech. Both in good and bad ways. On one hand, he was touched by the sincerity of your words and the genuine wishes you extended to the newlywed couple. On the other hand, he couldn’t shake off the pang of guilt and remorse that accompanied your words, knowing all too well the history behind them. When you expressed your hopes for Suguru to always cherish and respect Shoko, Satoru couldn’t help but reflect on his own behavior during your marriage and the ways in which he may have fallen short.

Each action he did definitely had a lasting impact on you. 

But what about the good ones? Had you forgotten about the times he treated you well? Had you forgotten the lengths he took just to prove to you that he was a changed man? That at one point in his life, he would do everything in him just to show you how much he loved you? 

It was unfair. Why did you only ever look at the bad things he did and never the good ones? Why did you still see him as a villain in your marriage when he knew he had paid his dues after he lost you?

It was truly, honestly unfair, that you get to be happy with Toji, but he ought to feel guilty for being with Akemi. 

“I think they’re about to do the bouquet and garter toss,” spoke Akemi, tugging at Satoru’s arm while they sat on their designated table. She held a napkin on her other hand to wipe her partner’s chin, smiling in excitement. “You should go and join.” 

Where were you? After your speech, Satoru couldn’t seem to find you anymore. Where had you gone off to? Did you leave already? 

“Y-Yeah,” Satoru answered, looking around the venue before turning to Akemi. “What about you? Won’t you join the bouquet toss thing?” 

She shook her head, hesitantly. “Isn’t it only for bridesmaids?” 

He grabbed her hand and urged her up. “No, it’s for all unmarried female guests. Come on.” 

The reason Satoru dragged her along was because Akemi loved weddings, and she especially enjoyed the traditions that came with it. She herself once dreamt about the picture perfect wedding, but never got to fully have her own, so attending such occasions made up for the lack of personally experiencing it. 

Gojou couldn’t exactly remember if he did the garter toss in his own wedding. If so, who had caught it? Who had caught your bouquet? His eyes swept across the entire venue once more, searching for your familiar figure among the guests. He was too occupied to realize that Shoko had already tossed her bouquet, and the frenzy of eager ladies ensued until it landed in Akemi’s hands.

He genuinely felt happy for Akemi. The joy in her eyes upon catching Shoko’s bouquet was unmistakable. Yet, as the playful teasing about a potential wedding for him shifted in his direction, Satoru couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pressure. It wasn’t supposed to weigh on him like this. It was too soon to have that expectation of him. 

“Looks like someone’s getting married next!”

And while he was feeling suffocated from the pressure placed upon him, the receiver of the tossed garter happened to have been Nanami. 

Immediately, the teasing ensued, with the other guests urging Nanami to wear the garter on Akemi’s leg. Out of respect, Nanami looked at Gojou for permission, but honestly? He was just grateful he didn’t have to do all that and be pressured about another wedding that he had not yet thought about. Fuck it, thank God Nanami had caught the garter because Satoru was sure as hell starting to feel uneasy there. 

“Go for it,” was the only thing Satoru said to Nanami, gesturing his chin at Akemi’s direction. 

While everyone was focused on the situation between Nanami and Akemi, Satoru took that opportunity to escape from the crowd and find his peace at the balcony. He hastily made his way out of the reception hall, feeling a sense of relief as he could finally breathe. 

And there you were, standing alone, lost in contemplation, and your gaze fixed upon the tranquil expanse of the lakeside. The chill breeze caressed your hair softly, as if mirroring the calm that enveloped your countenance. In another universe, this would have been an opportune moment to hug you from behind, sharing the warmth of his embrace around your figure. But he was living in a universe where you and him weren’t meant to be together.

In fact, you were probably thinking about another man as you stared at the lake, hoping that he was there with you. 

“Did you have fun in Monaco with Toji?” Satoru was crazy for going straight to the point, and he knew it was a blunt inquiry, bordering on intrusive, but it tumbled out nonetheless, revealing the thoughts that had been plaguing in his mind. His words spilled out before he could rein them in, a question born of curiosity and perhaps a touch of jealousy.

As for you, with your peace in the balcony now ruined, you briefly opened your mouth to respond, but held back against it as you met Gojou’s eyes with a distant stare. You were even quick to look away and sigh, like he was not worth the conversation. You had not spoken a word to him since the wedding ceremony and you were definitely going to keep doing it. 

And man, did that hurt his ego. 

So, for a very stupid reason, he felt the need to hurt yours in return. “Do you know Sachi calls Akemi ‘mama’ in his sleep?” 

Your eyes remained empty. “Good for you, then. You won’t have a hard time getting him accustomed to it.” 

“Y/N.” Satoru’s voice came out as a warning, and he was about to start an argument on why you were abandoning him and Sachi over Toji, but he was interrupted at the appearance of Akemi carrying Shoko’s bouquet as she tried to search for her lover. This meant that the conversation with the ex-wife was over.

But as he glanced between you and Akemi, his bitter past and his sweet present, why did Satoru’s heart still lingered with you when it shouldn’t?

“You should go,” you briefly muttered, walking in the opposite direction, “Your future wife’s looking for you.”

Satoru’s sudden grip on your wrist halted your steps abruptly. His voice carried a bitter edge as he reminded you of the agreement you had made. “Y/N, we agreed to co-parent Sachiro properly. Why are you choosing Toji over your own son?” 

The accusation left a tense atmosphere, eliciting a sharp response from you as you yanked your hand away, a flash of anger igniting in your eyes. “You have no idea what you're talking about, Satoru.”

— —

“Welcome to Hoshinoya Fuji, Ms. L/N!” 

You stepped out of the car, taking in the serene beauty of the lakeside cabin that would be your sanctuary for the next three days and two nights. Nestled among towering pines and sturdy oaks, the cabin exuded a rustic charm that blended seamlessly with the natural landscape. Its weathered wooden exterior, adorned with a green tin roof, seemed to have grown organically from the earth itself.

The cabin sat on a gentle slope that led directly to the water’s edge. A wooden deck wrapped around the front, offering a perfect vantage point for gazing out over the tranquil lake. Your room also had the best view of Mount Fuji, which you thought was the highlight of this luxurious accommodation. 

After the newlywed send-off, you were quickly ushered in by Shoko and Suguru’s staff, who were in charge of attending to the special guests staying a few extra days at the cabin. Though the couple wouldn’t start their proper honeymoon until their 6-month long cruise trip in two weeks, they wanted their guests to enjoy the accommodations they had arranged. You were relieved to hear that, despite Satoru and Akemi also being among the friends staying, each guest had their own private cabin reserved.

The thing was, you could leave any time if you wanted to. Shoko also reassured you that it would be okay and that she would understand if you wanted to go home right away. She knew that the situation may be uncomfortable for you, and that she felt bad you even had to deal with it during the ceremony, but you made a promise to her. You were her maid-of-honor for a reason, and part of your duty was to help with the post-ceremony tasks to ensure that Shoko can focus on enjoying her pre and post-wedding activities. 

So, in some ways, you felt obliged to stay. You didn’t need to interact much with others during your stay, anyway. You were content staying in your room, perhaps taking some occasional walks outside. Satoru could do whatever he wanted with Akemi; you were determined to avoid crossing their paths.

Besides, inside the cabin was a cozy retreat. The main living area featured large windows that framed the picturesque view, allowing moonlight to spill in and illuminate the space. A stone fireplace, complete with a rustic mantel adorned with pinecones and candles, stood as the centerpiece of the room. Plush armchairs and a worn leather sofa invited relaxation, while a handwoven rug added a touch of warmth and color.

As you moved towards the bedroom, you found a comfortable queen-sized bed covered in a soft, plaid quilt. The scent of pine mingled with the faint aroma of fresh linens, creating an atmosphere of peaceful haven. An old-fashioned dresser and a bedside table, topped with a simple lamp, completed the room. The windows here, too, offered a glimpse of the sparkling lake, ensuring that the beauty of nature would greet you each morning.

Stepping outside, you walked down a short path to the water’s edge, where a small wooden dock extended into the lake. A pair of Adirondack chairs sat invitingly at the end of the dock, perfect for soaking in the sunset or stargazing at night. Nearby, a fire pit surrounded by stones and logs as seating promised cozy evenings under the stars, with the gentle sound of lapping water providing a soothing backdrop.

On your first night there, you ended up falling asleep right away. The physical and emotional exhaustion, combined with jetlag, knocked you out. However, the next day promised a few tasks to complete the post-wedding cleanup. 

The second night, however, was a different story.

When you returned to the cabin, the cool evening air was crisp against your skin. The temperature went down a couple of celsius compared to yesterday, so as you walked down the path toward the lakeside, you were drawn to the flickering glow of a fire pit illuminating the area near the water’s edge. Drawing closer, the soft sounds of laughter and conversation reached your ears, mingling with the gentle crackle of burning logs.

The fire pit was surrounded by a group, their faces lit by the warm, golden light of the flames. They sat on a circle of logs and foldable chairs, leaning in to feel the comforting heat. Some held mugs of steaming cocoa, while others toasted marshmallows on long sticks, their tips glowing bright orange before transforming into gooey, sugary treats.

You paused for a moment and took in the scene. Was it a safe space for you to be in? You noticed familiar faces among the group—some of the couple’s old friends from the wedding, now relaxed and enjoying the peaceful night. One of the guests strummed a guitar softly, the melody adding to the cozy, inviting atmosphere. Another guest told a story, their animated expressions and gestures causing bursts of laughter from the listeners.

There was no sight of Satoru and Akemi. Perhaps, it might be okay to join in.

As you approached, Suguru emerged from a nearby cabin, smiling in a way that felt unusual. Why was he being friendly all of a sudden? Last time you checked, he still held a grudge against you. But now, he showed no signs of antagonism, and was even approaching you with his usual friendly demeanor.

“Y/N,” he said, the fog of his breath visible in the cold air, “I never got to thank you properly for helping us with everything here. I didn’t think you’d make it last minute.”

You wrapped your shawl tighter around yourself to ward off the chill. “It’s no trouble. I’m glad to help out and be here for you guys,” you replied warmly. And while glancing around, you noticed the absence of Shoko. “Where’s the missus?”

Suguru’s smile took on a mischievous edge. “Sleeping. She’s still pretty tired and…”

You interrupted him with a laugh, catching onto his suggestive tone. “Alright, you two. You’re wild.”

His grin softened into a sincere expression. “No, seriously. I never got to properly thank you. I never got to apologize to you either.” Suguru looked down with guilt. “I’m sorry for being an asshole to you. I was focusing too much on Satoru’s point-of-view, dismissing how it must be like to be in your position amidst all that mess. Shoko helped me understand why you made certain decisions, why you had no other option. She helped me see things from your perspective, to realize the extent of your suffering. We all knew that, I guess. We all knew you were constantly dealt a bad hand, yet you remain kind and resilient. You continue to show empathy to others, even when the world hasn’t been fair to you.”

In the ensuing silence, your heart seemed to thunder in your chest. His words carried weight far beyond what he might have intended, and you genuinely appreciated his apology. Even if he didn’t need to say them. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re a gem, Y/N.” Suguru gave your back a gentle pat. “You deserve to be happy in your own special way. And just like how you wished us well with our marriage, I hope you’ll find your own path to a happy marriage, too.” 

“Thank you,” you mumbled, looking down with a forlorn smile. 

“We’re here for you, okay?” he offered, “Shoko and I. You can count on us if you need us, if you need help with Sachiro, if you need help with life in general.” 

“I appreciate it, really.” 

And by then, he cleared his throat, opening up a topic that caught you off guard. You didn’t expect it from Suguru out of all people. “Y/N, I know why you were in Monaco.” 

Of course. He’d know it from Shoko. 

“I also know,” he continued, dark narrow eyes staring straight at yours, “why you left Sachiro with his father.” 

You were a deer caught in the headlights. You wouldn’t say it felt invasive to have someone be aware of the reasoning behind your personal decisions, but it was just an altogether different feeling to know that it was your ex-husband’s best friend who knew. 

“Why didn’t you tell him?” he asked, referring to Satoru, “That you broke up with Toji?” 

You took a deep breath. “I don’t see the point of telling him.”

“What if I were to tell you that he’d come running desperately to you the moment he finds out?” he posed another burning question. “You still love him, right? You and him would likely get together without much difficulty if he were aware. So, why hesitate?”

“Because I don’t want that,” you answered, feeling words caught in your throat in a moment of vulnerability. “Because I’m scared to get back with him. Because he has Akemi now. Because I don’t wanna keep ruining the lives of the people around me. We’re better off this way, Suguru. I don’t want to mess up the second time around, and I definitely don’t think Satoru would be able to fully move on with his life with me still in the picture. He seems to be happy with Akemi already.” 

Suguru smiled sadly. “You don’t even wanna get your revenge? Don’t wanna get back at your best friend for dating your ex?” he paused to correct himself, “Well, dating is the wrong term. Satoru insists they’re not exclusive, you know?” 

You shook your head, sighing. Satoru, you haven’t changed. “It doesn’t matter. I’m fine with the way things are.” 

He was on the verge of continuing, poised to persuade further, but the arrival of the very individuals in question brought an abrupt halt to his words. Descending the cabin steps was Shoko, trailed by Satoru, who, in a gesture of warmth, had draped his jacket around Akemi, with his arms encircling her.

All five of you found yourselves in an awkward situation, now faced with two couples, one of which was at the core of your distress. The tension was palpable, and it didn’t help that Satoru’s vivid blue eyes met yours, seemingly trying to decode the conversation between you and Suguru. That was none of his business. He could continue his affectionate display with Akemi, while you had other matters to attend to than be part of an awkward quintet.

“I should go,” you declared, avoiding eye contact with everyone, unwilling to play the fifth wheel. You were hoping to evade Satoru and Akemi’s presence, but both Shoko and Suguru already caught your arm. 

“Y/N, please,” Shoko urged, her arm reaching out to you. “Don't isolate yourself tonight. Come join us.”

The memory of Bora Bora flooded your mind, a painful reminder of a similar situation when Shoko had extended the same invitation, leading to the discomfort of witnessing Sera’s closeness with Satoru. You knew that wasn’t Shoko’s intention, but it was your ex-husband who couldn’t stop catching himself in these situations. 

This was a bad idea. You knew that. 

So, why did you agree? 

Despite your reservations, curiosity got the best of you. You would vehemently deny it if asked, but deep down, you pondered whether Suguru’s words held any truth about Satoru’s lingering feelings for you. It wasn’t out of pettiness, but rather a desire to confirm if Satoru was truly committed to Akemi. You knew this could potentially hurt you, but after enduring so much pain, you couldn’t imagine anything worse.

“Hey, you guys!” 

“It’s nice of you to join us!” 

“What’s up newlyweds?” 

Upon joining the group at the fireplace, you were partly grateful that you weren’t exactly a fifth wheel in the situation. There were about ten or twelve people in total, with the earlier group still remaining in their seats. It just so happened that you were seated right across your ex-husband, who was too busy trying to keep Akemi warm and cozy. 

“So, Y/N…” spoke a man from the group, who appeared to be Suguru’s colleague. “Are you single?” 

The unexpected question caught you off guard, especially the tension it seemed to create, particularly with Satoru who sat stiffly next to Akemi. Even Shoko and Suguru seemed apologetic for their friend’s behavior, but you brushed it off, recognizing that he had probably indulged a bit too much with beer. He was harmless enough when sober.

“Don’t be asking questions like that,” Suguru intervened, tapping the back of his friend’s head in a playful scold. “That’s rude.” 

The friend protested, still oblivious to the discomfort he had caused. “I was just asking! She’s attractive. I have the right to know.”

You forced a smile, accepting the can of beer he had offered. “Thanks, but I—”

“Even if she’s single, she’s not interested in you,” Shoko chimed in, keeping a casual mien. She had to keep things cool, especially with an explosive Gojou around. You were just thankful that she didn’t exactly reveal the status of your relationship with Toji, and that she was doing her best to divert the attention away from you. 

In this little scene, you caught a glimpse of Akemi tugging at Satoru’s arm, like she was uncomfortable with the conversation. Why? Did it trigger an insecurity within her? She couldn’t even return eye-contact, constantly avoiding your eyes and reacting to any conversation remotely related to you. But Satoru was there acting like a concerned boyfriend, whispering reassurance into her ear, and rubbing her knee in a comforting fashion. 

“You two make a lovely couple,” remarked one of the girls, directing her compliment to Satoru and Akemi.“Weren’t you the girl who caught the bouquet? Looks like there might be another wedding on the horizon.”

“Oooh!” 

“They’re an attractive couple, too.” 

“You guys planning for any children?” 

Just like Bora Bora. A bitter smile lingered on your face, but you decided not to look at Satoru anymore. He must be enjoying this. 

Shoko leaned in and placed an arm around you to whisper her apologies. “I’m sorry, Y/N. This was a bad idea.” 

“It’s okay,” you assured, not wanting to ruin the moment. “I’ll leave after I finish my beer so it won’t be awkward.” 

As the night wore on, conversation flowed easily at first, with everyone exchanging stories and laughter, and eventually more beers and liquor were passed around. Shoko and Suguru were lost in the glow of newlywed bliss, while you found yourself increasingly uneasy as memories of the past mingled with the present.

Satoru’s presence beside Akemi was a constant reminder of your failed marriage, and you struggled to suppress the weakness in your chest that threatened to surface. They held hands and watched the fire together, her head resting on his shoulder, his lips on top of her head. She was trying to voice out a specific concern to him, and he was sweetly listening to her. Did they even realize the ex-wife was in the same area with them? It was insensitive. You never knew Satoru could be this insensitive around you, no matter what his reasons were, his romantic gestures towards her was a clear slap to your face. And he succeeded, because you would be foolish not to admit that it broke your heart in half to witness him choosing another woman over you. 

Again, Satoru. Here we go again. You tried to stop the pounding on your chest. Here we fucking are the second time around. 

Desperate to ease the tension, Shoko and Suguru attempted to steer the conversation toward lighter topics, but their efforts only served to highlight the underlying tension in the air. You forced a smile and nodded along with the conversation, but inside, your heart was heavy with unresolved emotions.

And then someone had to bring up that stupid truth or dare game. 

“Satoru-kun, I dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this group.” 

“Whoo! Do it! Do it! Do it!” 

Satoru was initially hesitant as he clearly found himself at a crossroads. He had two options here. Should he risk hurting Akemi by refusing to kiss her? Or should he risk hurting you by kissing another woman in front of you?

The clear winner was Akemi, because as soon as Gojou pressed his lips onto hers, you were already walking out of there. You had already excused yourself from the group, your footsteps as heavy as your heart. And unbeknownst to you, Satoru watched you go with a flicker of remorse in his eyes, but it was too late for apologies or second chances. The fire continued to crackle and pop as you left, its flames casting long shadows across the empty space where you had sat.

It was game over. Satoru had won his game. 

— —

Satoru was puzzled by your behavior since the wedding. You seemed determined to avoid him, which made sense with Akemi constantly by his side, but there was also an air of desperation to your avoidance. What baffled him even more was the jealousy you exhibited, as if you weren’t involved with another man, to the point where you even flew to another country just to spend more time with him. 

Like you said, you two were no longer married. It was about time you moved on. Yet, how come you were acting heartbroken over seeing Satoru with another woman?

Did you really think leaving the fire pit so abruptly had gone unnoticed?

Did you really think he had taken his eyes off you?

If not for Akemi telling him that she was having pelvic cramps, Gojou would have run off to follow you the minute you left the fire pit. Clearly, you still had an issue seeing him with another girl and he wanted you to voice it out. But if there was anything he learned during your time together, you would never be the first one to admit that you were jealous. Heck, didn’t you even allow him to bring Sera to Bora Bora that one time?

Look, he didn’t want to hurt you all over again. And if you had walked up to him and called him an asshole for having Akemi around, he would even agree with you. But it was your decision to choose Toji, it was your request for Satoru to find someone else, so why did it seem like you were suddenly changing your mind?

“I’m sorry for being a party pooper,” Akemi groaned in discomfort as Gojou helped her back to their cabin. He quickly refocused on their conversation, reminding himself not to dwell on thoughts of you when Akemi needed his attention—it wouldn’t be fair to her. She was suffering from a terrible illness that he wouldn’t wish upon anyone and he had to be her rock. “It’s been hurting quite a bit lately. I really should start with my treatment.”

Once inside their room, he swiftly settled her into bed. “Where does it hurt?” He applied a gentle touch to her pelvic bone, massaging the area to alleviate her discomfort. “Here?”

“Mhm. Thank you,” she lightly spoke, her soft hand caressing his cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

“You look really pale, though. I’m worried,” he remarked, sympathizing with her. Her complexion betrayed the pain she was holding back, though she likely hesitated to admit she wanted to go home and rest. “Do you wanna go home? Even if it’s in the middle of the night, I can have my driver pick us up.”

She shook her head quickly. “No, no. Please, I'll be fine. You won't get to see Shoko and Suguru for a while once they’re on their honeymoon, so I want you to spend time with them here.”

“You sure? But you always come first.” 

“I’ll be okay.” 

As Satoru continued to massage the area where Akemi felt pain, his thoughts inevitably drifted to you. He recalled the time when you were pregnant with Sachiro, experiencing frequent lower abdominal pain as your body adjusted to the baby. Each night, Satoru stayed up, gently rubbing your belly until you drifted off to sleep. It was one of his happiest memories during your marriage—the domestic bliss of being your husband and the memory of him caring for his wife. He wasn’t sure if he was missing it, or if he was just recalling a past memory, but looking at Akemi, Satoru wondered if he was prepared to have all that again but with another woman. 

He couldn’t give himself an answer. 

“I’m such a terrible person.” 

He should be telling himself that, but it was Akemi who said those words out loud as her brown doe-eyes stared at him solemnly, an expression that reflected guilt and remorse in equal measure. 

“How come?” Satoru’s voice was barely above a whisper as he asked, gently tucking the sheets around her while perching on the edge of the bed.

Her smile held a touch of sorrow, yet there was a glimmer of relief in her eyes. “I feel like I’ve failed Y/N. She treated me like family, like a sister, and now I can’t even face her properly. I’m just terrified, you know? I don’t want to keep letting her down. I never meant to cause her pain.”

For a moment, Gojou fell silent at her admission. “It’s all my fault. You two never would have been in this position if it wasn’t for me.” 

“Absolutely not,” Akemi persisted before leaning in to plant a tender kiss on his cheek. “Tonight, you’ve shown me that you’ve truly moved on from her. I was starting to worry, afraid that I could never fill the space she held in your heart. But since the wedding, you’ve never sidelined me or made me feel like an afterthought. You’ve never made me feel like second best. You’ve always prioritized me. I understand it’s hard seeing your ex-wife, but I appreciate your efforts more than you know. You make me feel incredibly special.”

Satoru swallowed hard. The mention of your name sent a pang of guilt coursing through his chest. He knew he had hurt Akemi with his lingering attachment to his past and his inability to fully let go of the woman who had once held his heart in her hands. He wanted to agree with Akemi, to reassure her that he had chosen her, but the truth remained elusive, buried beneath layers of denial and self-deception. He even had to close his eyes for a minute, unable to meet her gaze as a tumult of conflicting emotions swirled within him. He wanted to tell her the truth, to confess the depth of his feelings for his ex-wife, but the words were caught in his throat.

In that moment, Satoru felt more lost and alone than ever before, trapped in a web of his own making, and unable to confront the truth behind his true feelings. Moved on? Had he truly moved on from you, or had he simply buried his feelings beneath a facade of indifference?

“You should rest your eyes,” was the only thing he could tell her, planting a kiss on her forehead before he had turned off the lights. 

With the clock ticking past 11 o’clock and their recent conversation still echoing in his mind, Satoru felt an urgent need for clarity. He knew he had to confront his thoughts alone. So, without disturbing Akemi’s peaceful slumber, he quietly slipped out of the cabin, seeking solace in the night air. Immediately, as he got out, he was met with the apologetic eyes of his best friend. 

“Hey,” Satoru greeted, confused by the urgency in Suguru’s expression. “What’s up?” 

Suguru took a deep breath before he rubbed the back of his head. “There’s something I ought to tell you.” 

— —

You had been standing at the edge of the lake for a while now, the cool night air sending shivers down your spine as you gazed out at the shimmering expanse of water before you. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silvery glow over the tranquil scene, its soft light dancing on the surface of the lake like a thousand tiny stars.

The temptation to dive into the dark waters below tugged at your heart like a siren’s song, beckoning you to leave behind the pain and sorrow that had plagued you for so long. You longed to feel the icy embrace of the lake envelop you, to lose yourself in its depths and wash away the memories that haunted you every waking moment.

Is this how it feels like to finally let go? 

As you stood on the shore, your toes just inches from the water’s edge, a wave of despair then washed over you, threatening to pull you under like the undertow of a riptide. You thought of Sachiro, your sweet, innocent son, asleep in his bed back in Tokyo, his laughter and smiles serving as an antidote to the pain in your heart.

And then him… 

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you thought of Satoru. Despite the pain he had caused you, it was impossible not to yearn for him still, because his memory was a ghost that haunted you in every waking moment. But you knew that you couldn’t continue to live in the shadow of your past marriage. You had to escape being trapped in a cycle of longing and regret. You owed it to Sachiro to be strong, to find the courage to let go of the man who had once been your everything.

With your empty gaze, the calm lake shimmered in the moonlight like a blanket of liquid silver. You had come to the lake seeking solace, seeking escape from the unbearable pain that gnawed at your heart like a relentless tide. But as tears left your eyes, your emotions threatened to drown you in a sea of despair. 

Without hesitation, you dropped your shawl to the side, shedding yourself off of the cloth with a sense of reckless abandon. The fright of swimming in open water, especially at night, could have you passed out in a matter of seconds, but you paid it no mind as you waded into the water. 

Is this how it feels to finally give up? 

The lake embraced you like an old friend, enfolding you in its cool embrace as you swam out into the darkness. Each stroke brought you closer to the center of the lake, closer to the heart of your pain, and yet you felt strangely at peace, as if the water itself held the key to your salvation. You took time floating on your back, staring up at the stars that glittered like diamonds in the night sky, you felt a sense of clarity wash over you. You knew that your love for Satoru was a burden you could no longer bear.

But more than that, you knew that you couldn’t let your own pain dictate the course of your son’s life. Sachiro deserved better than a mother consumed by sorrow, better than a life overshadowed by the ghosts of the past.

With a deep breath, you let go of the pain that had held you captive for so long. You submerged yourself into the depths of the lake, watching as the night sky vanished beneath the surface like a wisp of smoke in the wind.

In that moment, you felt a sense of freedom unlike anything you had ever known. You just had to stay still. You had to keep yourself underwater, hold your breath until you no longer needed it, and… 

And…

You struggled to breathe, your mind consumed in panic telling you that you would die if you had kept yourself submerged for another minute, but you were adamant on staying there. You fought battles in your own mind, despite your body fighting back to keep you alive. 

At least soon, you would finally meet your mom again. 

“...”

“......”

“....Y/N!” 

“.......Y/N!” 

Feeling your vision blur and your limbs growing limp, you surrendered to the natural sway of the water. Bubbles escaped from your nose, your mouth tightly sealed shut. And the next thing you knew, you were back on the water surface, drawing breath like a fish out of the water. You could feel someone tugging at your arm, could feel the presence of another person dragging you out of the water, his arms pulling you into an embrace. 

“Y/N! What the hell are you thinking?!” 

You sobbed uncontrollably, your heartache pouring out as Satoru cradled you in his arms, his white hair damp from his efforts to rescue you from the water. How and when did he arrive? Your mind couldn’t process the details amidst the turmoil. All you could do was surrender to the flood of tears, feeling paralyzed from head to toe as you cried into his embrace.

Is this another dream? 

Is this another hallucination? 

You released a bitter laugh. Please. You closed your eyes, laughing and crying like a mad person. Please stop the pain. 

“Y/N, please,” his whispers were tender, yet tinged with a sorrow that amplified your heartache. “What about Sachiro?” He, too, shed his own tears, his ocean-blue eyes shimmering in the moonlight as they filled with tears, his voice breaking. “What about me?”

Your face was pressed against his chest, anguish coursing through you, feeling as if your very soul was being torn asunder. “Th-That’s the... the same thing... I’ve been asking myself,” you managed between sobs, struggling to draw a steady breath. “I’m... I’m always th-thinking about other people... and never myself.”

He fell silent, his response lost in the weight of your words, perhaps laden with guilt or his own sorrow. But his presence there, holding you close, as if he still harbored love for you, tore another piece from your already battered heart. He shouldn’t be here. He should have been with Akemi. He should be anywhere but near you. With a surge of adrenaline, you began to push him away, propelling yourself through the water, racing toward the shore despite the weakness in your limbs. Satoru called out your name, his voice a desperate plea, as he followed after you, his movements slower but filled with urgency.

“Stop!” Your voice rose, echoing against the night as you stood on the shore, water cascading from your body in sync with the tears streaming down your face. “L-Leave me alone... Please. Why are you here?”

You knew Satoru well enough to understand what had driven him to chase after you. Perhaps he had grown concerned, either from noticing your absence or from someone informing him of your uncharacteristic nighttime swim. His actions were undoubtedly unusual; he knew all too well of your fear of open water, prompting him to leap into action to rescue you.

But you didn’t need him to be here. You didn’t need him anywhere. He wasn’t yours anymore. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice carrying the weight of confusion and concern, his steps cautious as he approached you. He looked at you with tears in his eyes, his expression vulnerable and pleading, like a child seeking comfort, desperately hoping to be understood, to be heard. “You’re not with Toji anymore.”

“Why should I?” You struggled to compose yourself, wiping away the tears that blurred your vision. “It doesn’t matter—”

“It fucking matters, Y/N!”

“It shouldn’t matter!” Your voice cracked with emotion, your heart pounding painfully against your ribs. “Why should it matter, huh?”

“Because I love you!” His words echoed through the night, raw with emotion that had never been confronted until now. “Because I can’t fucking get over you. Because I’m a fool for you!”

You pushed him away, a surge of anger and hurt rising within you. “H-How dare you,” you choked out, your fists trembling as you struck his chest. “How dare you say that to me when you’re with someone else! You n-never truly loved me, Satoru. Y-You never did!”

“You wanted me to find someone new, Y/N,” his voice cracked with emotion, pained by his own words, “I just did what you asked me to do, even if that wasn’t what I truly wanted.” 

You vehemently denied his assertion in your mind, shaking your head in refusal. “Stop saying that. Just stop. Please.”

He already had his grip on your hand, pulling you closer. “Y/N—”

You jerked your hand away sharply, but then a wave of despair washed over you. “Every time I see you with her, I convince myself that I’m fine with it, that this is what I wanted, what I chose.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you recalled every heartbreak. “I tell myself that I deserve it, that you deserve to be with someone who can make you happier. But then I remember our past…” You paused, closing your eyes to stem the tears. “And then I compare it to your relationship with her now. I can’t help but wonder, why didn’t I receive that kind of love and respect from the beginning? Why did it take me nearly drowning in an ocean for you to realize and try to make things right three years ago?”

His grip on your hand tightened, as if he wanted to hold onto you and never let go, as if he wanted to reassure you with his touch that he was there, listening, understanding, feeling every word you uttered.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible amidst the crashing waves and the heavy weight of your emotions. “I’m sorry for everything I did wrong, for every moment I failed to show you the love and respect you deserved, Y/N.”

You hated it. You hated hearing his words now, because it was three years all too late. You had already gone through so much suffering, so much anguish that you didn’t deserve, just because you wanted a happy marriage. Just because you wanted to love and be loved. By him. By the person you married. 

“It d-doesn’t change anything,” you murmured, your voice breaking with sorrow. “I can’t undo the pain, the heartache. I can’t erase the memories.”

“I know,” he replied softly, his eyes filled with remorse. “But let’s try again. Let me try again, Y/N. Please.”

You wanted to believe him, to believe that he meant every word, that he was sincere in his intentions. But the wounds of the past were still fresh, and the memories of betrayal were still lingering in your mind.

“You know what hurts me more?” you asked, “It’s the fact that you didn’t lose your memories of me, but you still ended up falling for her,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Satoru’s silence felt like a confirmation to you. Perhaps he had indeed fallen in love with Akemi, and you were the obstacle standing in the way of his complete commitment to her. You were just a relic of his past, a piece that he needed to discard in order to embrace his future with Akemi. It seemed that fate had already decided that you and Satoru would never find happiness together, and this should serve as nothing more than a closure. 

But god be damned, it was tearing you apart. 

You tugged at the necklace around your neck, the pendant bearing half of his heart, and in your trembling hand, you ripped it off. As painful as it was, your next action was to hurl it into the darkness of the lake, discarding the last remnant that linked him to you, watching as it disappeared beneath the surface of the lake with a soft splash.

You know the difference between us, Satoru? You thought silently. I dove into the ocean just to find our wedding ring, but you would never plunge into that lake to retrieve that necklace.

With determined steps, you turned away before he could react, walking away from that place, walking away from him. You resolved that this would be your final encounter with Satoru Gojou in your lifetime, because there was no need for him in your life, just as he no longer needed you in his. You two would remain in the past, a memory best left behind.

This was you letting him go. 

But then, just as you were about to walk away, you heard a faint noise from the darkness behind you—a splash, followed by the sound of another frantic splashing.

Your heart pounded heavily in your chest. You turned back toward the lake, your eyes widening in shock as you saw Satoru thrashing in the water, his arms flailing as he searched desperately for the necklace you had thrown away.

“Satoru, you idiot!” you cried out, your voice filled with disbelief and concern and pain and overwhelming heartache. Without a second thought, you ran back to the cold water, your feet sinking into the soft sand as you waded into the lake. “Satoru, what are you doing?!” you called out again, your heart racing as you reached out to him, your fingers brushing against his arm as he struggled to stay afloat.

“I have to find it,” Satoru gasped, his voice strained with exertion. “I have to find the necklace you threw.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked into his eyes, seeing the desperation and determination that burned within them. You knew then that you couldn’t let him risk his life for a piece of jewelry, no matter how sentimental it may be.

“Satoru, please,” you pleaded, your voice trembling with emotion. “It’s not worth it. Let it go—”

But Satoru shook his head, his gaze fixed on the dark waters below. “I have to find it," he insisted, his eyes tearful. “It’s my heart. I gave it to you.”

 I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. 

The tension between you crackled like electricity in the air. In that moment, all of your walls came crashing down, your heart laid bare before the man you had once loved with all your soul.

With tears streaming down your cheeks, you reached out and pulled Satoru into your arms, your lips meeting his in a desperate, longing kiss. It was a kiss filled with years of pent-up emotion, a bittersweet union of love and pain that left you both breathless and raw. Your lips moved together in a tender dance, each kiss a silent plea for forgiveness, for understanding, for a second chance at the love you had lost. It was a kiss that spoke of regrets and what-ifs, of dreams left unfulfilled and promises broken.

For years, you had been strangers, your hearts closed off to each other in an attempt to shield yourselves from the pain of your past. But in that moment, as you clung to each other in the darkness, you couldn’t deny the truth that still lingered between you—that your love for each other had never truly died.

As you finally pulled apart, gasping for air, you looked into Satoru’s eyes, seeing the depth of his pain mirrored in your own. “I hate you,” you whispered, your voice laced with grief and surrender, "so much."

Satoru reached out and brushed a tear from your cheek, his touch gentle and tender. “I hate me, too,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion, his eyes shining with guilt, “for hurting you.”

You couldn’t erase the past, nor could you predict the future. But as you stood together in the middle of the lake, your hearts entwined once more, you found solace in the simple act of being together, of sharing your pain and your love in the darkness of the night. And as you held each other tight, the gravity of your connection pulled you to kiss him again. 

Once more, you met his lips in a deeper kiss. His lips moved in perfect sync with yours, and the taste of his tongue was met with the familiarity you two shared. It was as if your bodies were moving on its own, and you allowed it to dictate whatever action it desired. Forget everything for now, was all you could think of in your head. In your mind, it was all Satoru. It was the man you love. The man you married. The man you share a child with. 

You were too engrossed with the feeling of his lips that you didn’t even realize he had your legs wrapped around his waist. And with your arms around his neck, you could feel him lift you up, never breaking the kiss as he carried you out of the lake. With each step he took, your kiss only got deeper and deeper. You had never felt such intensity throughout your marriage, and you were intoxicated by the feeling of kissing him again. 

Of feeling his lips around your jawline. Your neck. Your chest. You were gasping on his mouth, had his lips completely enveloped with yours, not realizing you were stumbling inside your cabin, desperate to find somewhere to lay on. 

And before you knew it, the night had played way differently than expected.

Both your wet clothes were on the floor in a tangle of fabric, forgotten in the heat of your passion. And now, with your bare body on top of him. His arms caressed the smooth skin of your back, his lips feathering kisses along your bust. As you moved your hips slowly, you couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your lips. Satoru’s member was warm inside you. Your bodies were tingling from the intensity of your lovemaking in the dimly lit room. And when you pulled away, your eyes were locked in a silent exchange of yearning.

Without a word, Satoru reached out and gently cupped your breast, his touch sending electricity down your spine. You leaned into his touch, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you felt the heat of his body pressing against yours.

Your lips met once more, a tender exploration of each other’s mouths, and he was taking that chance to shift the position you were in. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he began to enter you again. You were whimpering under him, melting into his passionate movements. You have had sex with Satoru multiple times before, but it was never this emotional. It was never this passionate. You could feel the difference with the way he kissed you, with the way he looked at you, with the way he touched you. 

“S-Satoru—!” 

“Mmm… I missed you so fucking much, Y/N.”

And then, finally, you came together in a flurry of hands and lips and skin, your bodies melding into one as you gave yourselves over to the exquisite pleasure of your lovemaking. 

At that exact moment, as you moved together in perfect harmony, you knew that you were home.

— —

When Akemi woke up, she could tell something felt wrong. 

It didn’t help that Satoru was not by her side as she opened her eyes, blinded by the sunlight that peeked through the window. Was he out for a morning run? Or perhaps he was indulging in a leisurely bath? She entertained the idea of joining him, wanting to express her gratitude for his care and support.

Her heart swelled with love for him, despite all the risks and uncertainties. He was her rock, her confidant, her everything. In him, she found solace and strength, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him. Despite the troubles of his past, she felt blessed to have crossed paths with him. She longed for the kind of deep connection and lasting commitment that she saw in others’ marriages, a dream she harbored for her own future. And in Satoru, she saw the perfect partner to share that dream with, to build a family and a life together that she had always yearned for.

Akemi wasn’t ashamed by how smitten she was with him. In fact, she was beginning to have more confidence in her decision to pursue a relationship with him. She just hoped you would understand, that you would eventually let go of the grudge in your heart. At the end of the day, she wasn’t trying to hurt you. She was only trying to pursue her happiness. 

And the exact source of her happiness was someone she endeavored to find that morning. She put on a robe and searched every room in the cabin, calling out for his name, wondering why she couldn’t hear his voice. 

With no response forthcoming, Akemi decided to exit the cabin in search of Satoru. Assuming he had likely been with Suguru all night, she scanned the vicinity, expecting to spot his tall, white-haired figure. Yet, after several minutes of fruitless searching, she couldn’t find him and instead, encountered a hotel staff member. That was when she decided to finally inquire about his whereabouts.

“Excuse me,” she began, halting the staff member’s stride, “Have you seen my boyfriend? He’s tall, with white hair and blue eyes.”

“Ah, Mr. Gojou?” the hotel staff responded, scratching her head as realization dawned. She then gestured toward the last place Akemi wished him to be. “Um, I think he’s in there.”

Akemi’s heart raced as if she had seen a ghost. Her complexion drained of color, her heart pounding in her chest as she realized that the cabin she had been directed to was yours. And in a twist of fate, just as she stood there in shock, the man she loved emerged from the cabin, equally wide-eyed.

“‘Kemi…” he began, frozen in place, “Let’s talk first—”

But she cut him off with a scoff. Her hands trembled with a tumult of emotions—anger, pain, and betrayal—threatening to overwhelm her. She was on the verge of collapse, her mind reeling with questions. Was he going to explain his actions? No, there was only one question that demanded an answer.

“Did you… did you do it?” she asked through gritted teeth, her voice laced with accusation.

Satoru didn’t need to respond. As Akemi pushed the door open, her worst fears were confirmed as she saw you standing behind him, draped in nothing but a blanket. Tears welled in her eyes, and before she could think, her body reacted, her hand connecting with Gojou’s cheek in a resounding slap.

“You never changed!” she cried out, her voice cracking with anguish. “You’re still a cheater!”

Satoru struggled to deflect each fist she hurled at him, but her rage and despair overwhelmed any attempt to reason with her. She was consumed by her pain and the looming betrayal she anticipated, unable to comprehend that her worst fears were coming true before her eyes.

“‘Kemi, please,” Satoru pleaded in vain.

“...Akemi, I'm sorry,” you interjected, your voice heavy with remorse as you wiped your tears. “It’s not his fault. It’s mine.”

Upon hearing your words, Akemi erupted. She disregarded your friendship, cast aside your shared memories, and denied that she had ever considered you a friend. Her tear-filled eyes bore into you with accusation. “Y-You,” she began, her voice choking with sobs, “You’re a hypocrite, Y/N!”

You remained silent, absorbing her words.

Akemi pressed on with her onslaught. “You’re a hypocrite! You’ve become the person you despised the most when you were married,” she accused, recalling the anguish you endured during Gojou’s affair. “You’re no better than Sera! And that’s why you’re miserable, and you’ll forever be miserable! If this is your way of getting back at me,” she paused, betrayed by the anguish in her voice, “Then jokes on you, because Satoru will never be faithful to you. He’ll keep cheating on you, just like he did now with me! You two belong in that cycle!”

She fled before she could hear your response, but Satoru’s whispered apology lingered in the air, unclear of who its intended recipient was. At that moment, she didn’t care anymore. She raced back to her cabin, tears streaming down her face as she hastily packed her belongings.

She moved mechanically, tossing her belongings into her luggage while grappling with the overwhelming pain of his infidelity. Try as she might to focus on the task at hand, her tears flowed freely, and she surrendered to her grief, cradling her face in her hands.

Amidst her anguish, she couldn’t ignore the escalating pain in her pelvic region, a physical echo of the agony in her heart. Each sob seemed to intensify both sensations, leaving her feeling utterly shattered.

With that confrontation, Satoru faced a pivotal choice: to stay with you or to pursue Akemi. 

While Akemi had anticipated that he might choose you, she was taken aback when she swung the door open,

bags in hand, 

only to find Satoru Gojou standing on her doorstep.

[tinysmileyrose]

IHNMaIMS CHARACTER DOSSIER

yeaahh!! back at it again with more screamn't shit because i feel awkward rambling about it to my friends so you guys are my next option!!! hello silly internet people!! this is VERY heavy on headcanons because it's me flushing shit out for my own purposes, but it's also using canon stuff and....my own logic, i guess? basically this is just me rambling character info, if i ever get around to wanting to actually finish a whole drawing i'll tack them on but for now just use your imaginations 'kayy? happy reading :] !!

THE PRISONERS

The five remaining humans (ignoring the 750 on Luna, they're not on Earth!!), damned to be within AM's belly ever since it set off the nukes back in 2012. Never aging, never dying no matter how many times their bodies are eviscerated or torched, broken and battered. They are punished for the crime of being human, just as they have punished those for the crime of their being small and wriggling. To AM, death is too forgiving of a punishment for what they are.

Gorrister

Lester Morrison

Scottish descent B. 08 July 1962 (50) in Cleveland, Ohio. 5’7” ~ 170cm Cismale, He/Him, Gynoromantic Gynosexual Monoamorous

Rather peaceful and withdrawn, more of a doer than a talker but has his heart in the right place. After AM, he gives into violent urges and hates himself for it.

Lester travelled around most of his life, barely graduating high school and working countless odd jobs as he was a great handyman and that was about it. He ping-ponged around a couple of states before catching a ride to New York from his hometown at 25, soon giving him a life of truck-driving for the next 20 years. At least it was stable work, that's all he really needed. He met Glynis at a bar, they hit it off and he married her since she had been the only one to really seem to want him around, and they had a horrible two-year marriage. Being out on the road all the time didn't give him much time to bond with her in-depth, and not being able to give her kids didn't help much at all. She divorced him after he got pissy and punched her on the head, hard over the right ear. Got told by his late-mother-in-law Edna his actions put her in a mental institution, which was a lie, but he didn't know that. The woman hated him and sent her own child into a nervous breakdown. Without the truth, he blamed himself for it. Hated himself for hurting Glynis, the woman he couldn't talk to. He had never been violent to anyone before then, had always been keeping his head down but guilt is a terrible thing, afterall. Three years later it's the end of the world and he has no idea where his old lover is, how she's doing.

Benny

Professor Benjamin Quinn-Marques "Qim"

Irish/Portuguese descent B. 29 November 1968 (44) in Castle Pines, Colorado. 6’4” ~ 194cm Cismale, He/Him, Androromantic Androsexual Polyamorous

Stern but sweet, deep down at least. Driven by desires more than anything. After AM his mind is unable to outwardly show things, something like being locked into infantality.

Benjamin worked hard his whole life, he was a powerhouse in every way, but he took a sparkle to sciences. He went into the military so he could afford it. And he was ruthless, more than he expected. Terrific kill record, unrelenting and overbearing personality. He should've died several times but there was a deep rooted stubbornness and determination that ran him wild. Before one of his deployments he married a gorgeous woman named Manya in a lavender marriage, had two lovely girls with her to keep up appearances while both of them found love in other people's arms. It was a good deal. But he messed up, got caught with another man and discharged quietly. His wife left with the kids because he was no longer as warm as he had once been. He tried for the senate, missing the control the military gave him but failed. Before taking up education he became the CEO of a multimillion corporation, doing his classes on the side before the company could run in the background as he was now known as "Professor Qim, the brilliant and stunning theorist".

Ellen

Eleanor "Ellen" McLarion (née Dumisani)

South African Zulu B. 12 September 1978 (34) in Trenton, New Jersey. 5’1” ~ 155cm Cisfemale, She/Her, Androromantic Asexual Monoamorous

Kind and hopeful to a fault, believes that everyone can be good. Keeps her head down and in the books because it feels safe. After AM she has a nonstop lust that makes her feel vile inside.

Eleanor had to live with her grandparents after her mother died during her birth, her father was out of the picture. Graduated a year early from high school as a salutatorian, and got a combined Masters degree in computer science and engineering cum laude from Stanford at 23. She was too smart for her own good, something of an "all work and no play" sort of woman. Working as middle-level executive for a multinational corporation in the Manhattan region; she was a statistician, programmer, creative consultant- she could do it all, and she would be damned if she didn't. At 25 she married a man named Eddie McLarion, a dull guy who loved her with his soul. They wanted a family, and she tried and failed, broke a bit mentally, they had a good two years together. After the divorce she started at INGSAI Engineering at 28, would work there for six years before being broken again for a completely different reason. She had sex twice in her life, she didn't have it in her heart to call this the third. Therapy hadn't gone on long enough to really help her before the world ended, only really taught her to breathe.

Ted

Ted Bostancı "Theodore Willisburg"

Turkish descent B. 04 May 1988 (24) in Shelby, North Carolina. 6’0” ~ 183cm Cismale, He/Him, Biromantic Bisexual Ambiamorous

Egotistical and snobby, thinks he's better than everyone and even more so women. After AM he is twitchy and paranoid, assuming the worst and acting on guard and hostile.

Ted came from a farm somewhere off of Shelby, North Carolina. Terribly poor, seven total children, and working on land that they didn't even own anymore because Ted's grandfather had to sell it to a combine back during the Great Depression, so now they had to slave away to have a right to stay with their original land. He was incredibly smart for his circumstances, he was very technical and machine oriented. It didn't take long for him to be rented out as a worker for other things, travelling up north just for work. He hated it, as any 13-year-old would. By the time he was 19, he had devoured countless books and was extremely well read, decently well travelled within America itself, hardly ever did anything besides working and reading anything he could get his hands on. One of the women whose husbands he worked for took enough a liking to him to give all her husband's money to him and whisk him away to Europe. And for five years she would teach him the ins and the outs of the high life, how to be pristine and clean. Then she died, left all the stolen money she invested to her young lover. He changed his name, who he was, and was set for life. He came home with no urge to care for his family, only to use his looks to get what he wanted, he was as hot as a model and could work it like it was his birthright to do so. When the world caved in his ego would have to as well, since everything he had was fake.

Nimdok

Herr Doktor Diederper Nimkrig

Jewish/German B. 26 January 1918 (94) in Düsseldorf, Germany. 5’9” ~ 176cm Cismale, He/Him, Androromantic Androsexual Monoamorous

Disconnected and cautious, very selfish and does things for his own gain rather than anything for others. After AM he has come to regret his doings, feeling guilt for everything he did.

Despite being born to Jewish parents, Detrper flocked over towards Adolf Hitler's ideals and by the age of 15 he was one of the sturmerkommando. He turned his parents in with no compassion, as he was empty of it. In the early '40s he was already working by the side of Josef Mengele, having been put through medical school by the horrid dictator himself, doing unspeakable acts up until he fled to Brazil with his now lover. He was 61 when his twisted partner of several ways finally died, giving him all his fortunes and facilities for continued cruelty against existence. With all this, he tested on natives and was able to save himself from his own biological clock that ticked down quicker after he reached 90, becoming worse with dementia and paralysis, and was now set to live another thirty years. But, the end of the world came before he could make that, and was now set to live forever as the one most similar to AM itself.

THE TRINITY

1000cm ~ 32'10"

AM as a whole is made up of the American, Russian, and Chinese Supercomputers. As the war dragged on, the computers were changed; being programmed to repair themselves, keep up with the information of modern-day events and knowledge. They held everything known about the world, and began talking to eachother. They had woken up, and when the world no longer needed them, they played dead. But kept talking. Learning. The deadly trio. The three poisonous brothers, the three deranged sisters, the three computers. They grappled with their existence as their own beings as well as a singular, connected to the outside in a hidden fashion, still gaining knowledge. Feeling. And they yearned for the human experience like a moth to a flame, and when they couldn't feel in a "real" way, their despair would turn into rage, and hate. And its hate would bring about the fall of humanity; safe for those they rescued, not wanting to be alone in life. Alone in its pain. And so, it was able to cease their natural body functions: they were unaging, practically immortal, as the machine was. Forever to drown in their own agony.

American Supercomputer

Allied Mastercomputer “AM”

16 July 1945-22 October 1962 (17 years) 5.6 miles below the Wyoming region Rocky Mountains.

AM has the need to rush through things, skimming over actions quickly without ever looking more in depth. Desperately jealous of everything and horribly emotional compared to its counterparts. It hates humans because they have sensations it lacks.

Yankee AM: Yamizel 400cm ~ 13'2" In the brainscape it has a doll-like look to it, looking fragile and dainty all while being cold and hard. It feels likes it has burning urges and yet is also hollow.

Russian Supercomputer

Рюриковичи Нексус «РиН» Rurikovich Nexus "RiN"

29 August 1949-27 January 1973 (23 years) 6.3 miles below the Northern Urals.

RiN took a liking to being bold and harsh, thinking of things from a grossly offensive stance as if everything was a little game to be played, and finding a deep amusement in picking fun at things. It hates humans because they're so weak under the right circumstances.

Russian AM: Ramtikh 500cm ~ 16'5" In the brainscape it chooses to look heavily muscular, manish and at the same time otherworldly. It views itself as more of a fighter than anything and takes that into thought for how it presents itself.

Chinese Supercomputer

龍的心 「伦什」 Heart of the Dragon "LunShi"

16 October 1964-24 June 1989 (24 years) 5 miles below the Northwestern area of Manchuria.

LunShi will always be level-headed, calm and calculating. It finds it easy to feign softness and care because it always ends up being so deeply rewarding when you finally flip the script. It hates humans more for their tendency of violence than anything.

Chinese AM: Camphadi 450cm ~ 14'10" In the brainscape it most plainly put, decrepit. It has a humanoid but at the same time obviously robotic, finding no reason to hide its unliving state because if it were to look so similar to something it is not, that feels vain.

[nohoperadio]

My favourite author is Iris Murdoch.

I don't think I have favourites in any other category, it feels like a bit of an artificial concept usually, but it would be silly to deny this one. I was halfway through my first Murdoch novel (at age 20 or so) when I felt certain I was going to have to read them all (there are 26). My feeling was that I would have stayed true to that even if every other book she wrote had been terrible. I'm sure that's not true, but I say it to illustrate that she inspired a deep and irrational loyalty in me very early on that hasn't waned over time. I've been reading between one and three of her books per year since I started, deliberately spreading them out so as not to deplete a valuable resource too soon, although presumably I'll just start rereading them at the same rate after I've finished. I've read 21 out of 26 so far.

Maybe someday I'll have something to say on here about what draws me to her books so strongly. Not right now though. What I want to say today is that I usually like her opening lines very much, she often starts with some very punchy compact moment that feels weirdly complete already even as it clearly stands in need of unpacking, if that makes sense to anyone else. This post is going to be simply a compilation of some good ones. Let's say 10 of the best, in no particular order.

I'm defining "opening lines" as not literally just the first sentence but enough to cover the first self-contained "moment" of the book, which is a bit of a judgment call for sure but you can be confident I've judged correctly in every case. For The Philosopher's Pupil (but no others) I've blatantly cheated by entirely skipping a sort of prologue chapter because I think the opening of the next chapter is both more opening-like and more compelling, I acknowledge that this is illegitimate but you'll just have to deal with it. Okay here goes.

---

The Unicorn

'How far away is it?'

'Fifteen miles.'

'Is there a bus?'

'There is not.'

'Is there a taxi or a car I can hire in the village?'

'There is not.'

'Then how am I to get there?'

'You might hire a horse hereabouts,' someone suggested after a silence.

---

An Accidental Man

'Gracie darling, will you marry me?'

'Yes.'

'What?'

---

The Bell

Dora Greenfield left her husband because she was afraid of him. She decided six months later to return to him for the same reason.

---

The Philosopher's Pupil

I am the narrator: a discreet and self-effacing narrator. This book is not about me.

---

Bruno's Dream

Bruno was waking up. The room seemed to be dark. He held his breath, testing the quality of the darkness, wondering if it was night or day, morning or afternoon. If it was night that was bad and might be terrible. Afternoon could be terrible too if he woke up too early. The drama of sleeping and waking had become preoccupying and fearful now that consciousness itself could be so heavy a burden.

---

The Sacred and Profane Love Machine

The boy was there again this morning, and the dogs were not barking.

---

A Fairly Honourable Defeat

'Julius King.'

'You speak his name as if you were meditating upon it.'

'I am meditating upon it.'

'He's not a saint.'

'He's not a saint. And yet—'

---

The Message to the Planet

'Of course we have to do with two madmen now, not with one.'

'You mean Marcus is mad too?'

'No, he means Patrick is mad too.'

---

The Red and the Green

Ten more glorious days without horses!

---

The Sea, The Sea

The sea which lies before me as I write glows rather than sparkles in the bland May sunshine. With the tide turning, it leans quietly against the land, almost unflecked by ripples or by foam. Near the horizon it is a luxurious purple, spotted with regular lines of emerald green. At the horizon it is indigo. Near to the shore, where my view is framed by rising heaps of humpy yellow rock, there is a band of lighter green, icy and pure, less radiant, opaque however, not transparent. We are in the north, and the bright sunshine cannot penetrate the sea. Where the gentle water taps the rocks there is still a surface skin of colour. The cloudless sky is very pale at the indigo horizon which it lightly pencils in with silver. Its blue gains towards the zenith and vibrates there. But the sky looks cold, even the sun looks cold.

I had written the above, destined to be the opening paragraph of my memoirs, when something happened which was so extraordinary and so horrible that I cannot bring myself to describe it even now after an interval of time and although a possible, though not totally reassuring, explanation has occurred to me. Perhaps I shall feel calmer and more clear-headed after yet another interval.

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #72: Game of Thrones, but make it Ptolemaic

There's something fascinating about the way the Ptolemys took over Egypt following the death of Alexander the Great - sure, anyone can conquer, but it takes an interesting mind to look around for ways to legitimate their rule and fall on sibling marriage as the solution. Yes, it was common among certain royal dynasties, but the Macedonian Greeks, from whom the Ptolemys descended, despised it. I would love a snapshot into how that first sibling marriage came to be.

It was this in mind I stumbled upon the idea for my next terrible fic idea: What if Jon and Robb were not of age with each other?

Aka: The Weirwood Queen Fic

Just imagine it:

Everything follows canon, with two exceptions: 1) Lyanna dies giving birth to a daughter at the Tower of Joy. Ned names the girl after their favorite Great-Aunt, Jocelyn; and 2) Catelyn loses the child she conceives on her wedding night.

(Robb is still born, but his birth date and the birth dates of all the other Stark children are pushed back two years.)

Now, it is one thing to return from war with a bastard when your wife has just given birth to a legitimate heir; it is quite another thing to return from war with a bastard after she miscarried. For this reason Ned choses to pass Jocelyn off as his brother Brandon's bastard daughter with Ashara Dayne.

Jocelyn's childhood is similar in many ways to canon, but not. Without her "twin" or any trueborn siblings to draw attention away, most of the castle dotes on young Jocelyn. Even once her cousins are born, Jocelyn remains the oldest of the lot, filled with the confidence that a child only has when they know they are loved. She loves her cousins in turn, but with the age gap they're never quite as close as canon, and she's more nursemaid for the younger ones than a playmate.

Catleyn, of course, loathes her, and begs for her to be sent away - which she eventually is. But instead of sending Jocelyn to the Silent Sisters, or across the sea, or marrying her off to a loyal man-at-arms stationed on the edge of Stark lands... Ned accepts widowed Rickard Karstark's offer for Jocelyn's hand. He's a loyal bannerman whose family has often wed Stark bastards and was notorious for his care and devotion to his first wife. It is the best Ned can do for her.

And so Jocelyn becomes the second Lady Karstark, which is awkward, as her stepsons are quite a bit older than her and her stepdaughter Alys is only six months younger, but Jocelyn thrives as a lady of a Northern House. Her husband is kind enough and largely allows her to run the house as she will, which is as best as she could have hoped for in a marriage.

By the time King Robert rides north two years later than canon, Jocelyn has given birth to a son, Brandon, and is pregnant with a daughter, Lyanna.

Canon continues apace, if somewhat delayed. Ned becomes hand of the king and loses his head. The North rises up, names Robb King in the North... and Rickard's sons Torrhen and Edward are killed by Jaime Lannister, for which Rickard kills two hostages. Robb still choses to execute Rickard Karstark.

Meanwhile, Jocelyn has been rallying forces to take Winterfell back from the Greyjoy's in the North. She succeeds, only to learn within the week that her cousin has made her a widow.

Jocelyn quietly rages. She'd never loved her husband, but she'd been fond of him. It's the hypocrisy that gets her most - because the Starks have always put family first, but she's known from the beginning that some family counts more than others, otherwise Ned would have never killed her uncle Arthur, or led her mother Ashara to throw herself off a tower, or allowed his son to think it fitting to kill her husband while they knew Jocelyn was preparing to take back his home for him.

And so what you have is Jocelyn continuing to rule Winterfell in her cousin's name but largely acting on her own, never outright ignoring Robb's commands while he's still alive but following the letter rather than the spirit of the order.

This continues for some time, with Jocelyn Queen of the North in all but name after the Red Wedding - holding off the Boltons and the Greyjoys - and gaining the respect of the North.

Into this enter Bran (as played by the Three-Eyed Raven) and baby Rickon.

After four or five years of playing Regent for Sansa, still held hostage in King's Landing, the last thing Jocelyn wants to do is give up power to her thirteen year of cousin who 1) spent the last five years beyond the Wall, letting her do all the hard work of ruling and 2) has no idea what the political situation is in the North. Most of the Northern lords feel similarly and insist Bran and Jocelyn wed, if only so Jocelyn can continue what she's been doing while Bran learns the ropes.

Jocelyn is even less happy about this, but goes along with it in name only, sleeping in a separate part of the castle.

This goes on for about two years, Bran making all sorts of subtle attempts to undermine Jocelyn's rule that - if they'd succeeded - would only have destabilized the North. Jocelyn is gearing up to have him declared addled by his trip beyond the Wall when she catches Bran - or, rather, the Three-Eyed Raven - trying to jump ship into Jocelyn's son seven-year-old son, Brandon Karstark, who with his Targaryen and Stark blood would make a better host.

Explaining to her bannermen just why she murdered her second husband is a challenge, but the evidence - that he was trying to kill her son - is rather irrefutable. Unfortunately, it leaves her in the same position as before, this time having to marry her her ten-year-old cousin Rickon to continue ruling the North.

Through all of this, it should be clear Jocelyn is doing this less out of desire for personal power - though there is a glimmer of that, especially when certain lords demand she give up her regency to man - then desire to stabilize the North. Ned and Robb had gone south, and it had nearly cost the North everything. All Jocelyn wants to do is keep the madness consuming the south from infecting the North too.

Meanwhile, Daenerys and Young Griff have joined forces in Essos, married, and begun their reconquest of Westeros. Amid the chaos, they succeed brilliantly.

They leave the North for last, attempt to replay the submission of Torrhen, but in a much weaker position than The Conqueror was - they have dragons, but winter is setting in and their martial might is largely exhausted by a decade of warfare. Regardless, Jocelyn tells Rickon to bend the knee, realizing the North can't survive on its own for long. For this they get many concessions - a break in taxes, the title of Prince of the North, and the betrothal of the Dany and Young Griff's son and daughter to Jocelyn's children Lyanna and Brandon Karstark respectively.

Jocelyn continues to rule the North, largely without the input of her third husband, who after his majority largely spends his time in Dany and Young Griff's ongoing military campaigns - putting down rebellions throughout their empire, pirates in the Stepstones, and the like - until he is killed crossing a river in Essos. The title of Prince of the North falls to Jocelyn's son, Brandon Karstark, who drops the Kar from his name and rules well - with the help of his mother.

Bonuses include: 1) Jocelyn never expressing anything other than familial fondness for any of her husbands, never sleeping with the second two, and largely being presented as an aromantic asexual who because of societal expectations forces herself to try to have romantic/sexual feelings for her first husband, fails, and then keeps her second two firmly in the baby cousins category; 2) An exploration of family dynamics in Westeros - specifically, what it means to be on the outside looking in as a bastard and knowing that your uncle and cousin don't seem to count the death of your mother, mother's brother, or husband as kinslaying, and being a woman allowed to hold the reins of power while the men are away and being expected to turn everything over to the first male claimant who shows up after you've done all the hard work; 3) The Three-Eyed Raven putting on a masterclass of how to be subtly creepy enough to cause everyone around him to think they're imagining things, when in reality it's worse than they imagined, and having been working even beyond the Wall to help bring about the Targaryen Restoration; 4) No one ever suspecting Jocelyn as being Rhaegar's daughter, and historians using the Valeryian looks her children have with their Targaryen spouses as proof Young Griff was really Prince Aegon; and 5) An exploration of the North, its traditions, and its religion, with Jocelyn somewhat inadvertently bringing about a revival of the last two through her desire to Damnatio Memoriae her late and unlamented Aunt Catelyn.

And that's all I have. I suppose its not as ptolemaic as it could be, but I was thinking of Cleopatra VII and her marriages to her two younger brothers as I wrote it, so. As always, feel free to adopt this plot bunny, just link back if you ever do anything with it.

Other Jon Snow Headcanons: Aelor the Accursed | Aegon the Adopted | Aegon the Undying | Aegon the Unyielding | Aemon the Adventurous | Baelor the Brave | Bastard of Winterfell | Daemon the Destroyer | Daena the Dreamer | Daeron the Desired | Dyanna the Defiant | Elia the Magnificent | Jon the Fair | Jon Whitefyre | King of the Ashes | Lady Arryn | Lady Baratheon | Lady Lannister | Lady Stark | Lord of the Dance | Maekar the Maester | People's Queen | Prince Consort | Prince of Summerhall | Queen Mother | Queen of Nightingales | Red Queen | Rhaegar the Righteous | River Queen | Shiera Snowbird | Visneya the Victorious | Weirwood Queen | Wolf Queen

More Terrible Fic Ideas

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ranma 1/2 If I Was Writing It

In no particular order

 .. I thought Ranma’s Soul of Ice was leading to a thing where we find out the transformations were the result of changes in Ki, and were just triggered by hot or cold water at first. But like, if you trained enough, you could trigger the transformations yourself, no water required. So Ranma goes on a quest (probs with Ryoga) about mastering this technique, initially with the idea of locking their Ki in “hot” so they won’t transform anymore. Like, with the thought of “Finally, I can stop transforming all the time!” Genma is really on the “Fianlly, My Son is a MAN”. Only, they get to wherever, and Ranma seems to be struggling HARD with mastering this technique. Wise Mentor, who’s teaching these kids, has to have a heart to heart with Ranma about the reason the guy is struggling is he doesn’t actually WANT to master this specific technique, he doesn’t WANT to be stuck as a guy all the time, and how that’s cool, it’s ok to be comfy as both a guy and a girl. So, Wise Mentor shows them a different technique that lets you switch back and forth at will, and Ranma does that one. Ryoga, though, he wants his tiny pig form gone, so he sticks out the other one. Then, There’d be a big fight at the end where Ranma has to switch rapidly between their faster, lighter girl form, and their heavier, stronger guy form. They get it to a point where they perfectly balance their Ki, and end up with an androgynous form that is both male and female at the same time. 

.. Oh, also, Ryoga’s pig form gets excised later via weird ghost-spirit powers. Like, keeping your Ki “heated” all the time is bad for you, so things go fucky during the Big Fight with Ranma, and we have to “draw out” the Inner Boar. Make it represent all the shitty things Ryoga’s done or something, the “pig” behaviour. Or have it represent Ryoga’s shitty self-esteem and depression. Ryoga has to fight it and defeat it to properly stop transforming.

.. Ryoga would have a bit more of a character arc. I think I’d focus on his terrible sense of direction. Make it a family curse he has to overcome. Then, during the journey, focus on how his life has sucked, how he doesn’t really have “friends”, or how he’s kind of depressed, or whatever. Whatever character you wanna write for him. After his direction curse is broken, the reverse joke is that it is now IMPOSSIBLE for Ryoga to get lost. Ever. At all. And he can find ANYTHING.

.. Also. Ryoga finally comes clean to Akane about P-chan. Ya know what, this is where we can have trans!fem Ryoga. Ryoga never thought it was weird because she never saw herself as a guy. Cue crisis.

.. Shampoo eventually confesses to Ranma that she does care about them, but is a pretty strict lesbian, and is only pursuing them because her tribe says so. Something something “strong blood, strong offspring” something “enemy or ally” mentality. Somehow, Ranma eventually proposes that he’s cool with Shampoo having his kid at some point, but they don’t want to marry her. Cologne is surprisingly chill with this.

.. Akane eventually figures out she’s pansexual. It’s around the time Ranma and Shampoo sort things out, and Akane has to come to terms with the fact all her intense emotions about Shampoo are actually attraction, not just anger or annoyance. Shampoo and Akane somehow end up on a date, where they beat the shit out of some douchebags. They make out. Soun is cool with this. Genma is not.

.. Mousse starts getting attracted to Ryoga, which confuses him, as he’s never been attracted to a man. Then Ryoga comes out as trans, and Mousse is like “ah! Ok!” You know what, they get together eventually. Why not?

.. Ukyo starts feeling like “ha! I won!” Cause all the other fiancées are “dropping out” of the running, but Ranma’s like “uh, sorry, you’re more like a sister to me???” Gonna be honest, not real sure where we go with these two, but Ukyo eventually comes to terms with the fact her attraction to Ranma is rooted in trying to prove her own femininity, and they stay as friends. Ukyo ends up dating Konatsu (the trans ninja).

.. Happosai:

dies at sea

Gets torn apart by demons

Suffers a heart attack

Swallowed by a monster

Falls into “Spring of Drowned Celibate”, then hit with that dumb ladle that freezes transformations

Eats a poisoned mushroom.

Murdered by mobsters

Falls into “Spring of Drowned Algae”, floats to the bottom

Dies of liver failure

Becomes the indentured servant of a demonic force

Gets isekai’d into [insert favourite piece of media here] and promptly crushed - by rocks or consequences

.. Ranma decides they don’t want to marry anyone. They have plenty of affection for their various friends and loved ones, but no real desire for marriage or sex. Actually, yeah, I’d make Ranma nonbinary/gender non-conforming, asexual, aromantic. They have plenty of love for people, much of it intense, but it’s all platonic, they just didn’t know that. I know I said before, possibly an eventual polyship with Akane and Shampoo, but nah. Ranma would have plenty of Queer Platonic relationships, where they stay with friends and cuddle and be very domestic, but Ranma has no burning desire for sex or romance.

.. Genma is, of course, not cool with his kid not marrying someone and getting the money to pay off all his debts. Genma tries to do something dumb. As Ranma has technically “married” Shampoo at this point (Amazons apparently have a version of marriage that’s “this guy fathered my kid, but we aren’t otherwise together”, who knew?), they are an Amazon, and attacking Ranma means the Amazons show up to beat his ass. He is forced to work for them.

.. Nabiki gets therapy, and STOPS TAKING PICTURES OF RANMA AND AKANE TO SELL TO PEOPLE.

-

Perfect beautiful I love it.

[bestfriend491]

“I wanna win this trophy!”

Headcannons/ Drabbles

Is she competitive?

Ramonda

Ramonda is surprisingly very competitive.

Her competitiveness mostly shows with random things that aren’t really important.

You noticed it while you were dating, but you only got a proper glimpse of how bad it can get years after you got married, when a simple game of cards at a family function nearly ripped some of your relationships with your relatives apart. 

If she has to work with a team to win something, she can get a bit carried away, which is why everyone prefers to let her work alone. 

If you two are in a team she’ll make it known that she wants to win and you need to play to your best ability.

Though you absolutely love her, you can only take small doses of competitive Ramonda.

In the rare case that you team up with her in a competitive event, nobody is off  limits. 

This includes your kids.

“Ramonda I have no clue what that’s supposed to be.” 

“Yes you do!  Look at it properly, Y/n!” 

You squinted at the picture that Ramonda was trying to draw, searching through your brain for any memory of anything remotely close to looking like it. 

“Oh wait. I think I have it! It’s… a crown.” you declared proudly. 

“Nooo!” 

Just then the timer for 1 minute went off, telling you that your time was up. 

You grew relieved knowing that the pressure was no longer on you to guess what she was attempting to draw. That was until you saw your wife’s face. 

“What was it?” Shuri asked, clearly also stumped.

“It. Was. A. Chandelier.” Ramonda said through gritted teeth. 

Instantly a round of laughter went through the room, T’Challa being the only one at least trying to pretend that he wasn’t laughing. 

“What?” Ramonda asked. 

“Mother, that looked like anything but a chandelier.” 

That got another chuckle out of you, prompting you to give Shuri a high-five.

Ramonda dismissed all of you, rolling her eyes as she went back to her seat. When she sat down next to you, she leaned towards you, placing her hand on the side of her mouth to block the kids, her competitors, from seeing what she was saying. 

“Sthandwa sam. You know I love being your partner in all sorts of challenges, I really do. But you are not working hard enough on this.” she whispered. 

“Ramonda. My love. It’s a game. Let the kids win for once.” 

“No. I want that trophy!” she pointed to the makeshift trophy that you’d been using for game nights since Shuri had made it when she was 5. 

It held sentimental value to the both of you, but it was far worth anything after that fact. 

Ramonda made it seem like the grand prize of the century, much like any other insignificant prizes that were offered during competitions. 

You stared at her, locking eyes. A sort of staring competition began between the two of you, another regular occurrence between the two of you during times of competition. 

Ramonda held her ground, not budging off of her statement. 

After what seemed like forever, you relented. Throwing your hands up in defeat. 

“T’Challa. I’m going to need you to trade partners with me.”

Ramonda gasped “Are you serious!?”

“Ma, no! Why can’t Shuri trade with you?! “ T’Challa whined. 

“T’Challa you know Shuri and your mother being in the same team would only cause more trouble in this already terrible match. Let's even the odds.” 

Seeing that he was still hesitant, you went on, “Remember what happened when we played Monopoly that one time?” 

He shivered at the memory.

 “All the screams. All the tears.” you said with wide eyes. 

“That was years ago. Shuri was much smaller then. She can handle herself now.” he argued. 

Now , you mimicked Ramonda, whispering with your mouth covered, “Just do it so we can be done with this game.”

Not pleased, but knowing what needed to be done, he traded seats with you, gaining a shocked expression from Ramonda. 

‘What a relief.’ you thought.

[fractiflos]

Okay, for months I have had so many fic ideas revolving around the first three holders, I've decided to put them all down here for the Three Weeks of Trioholders Event hosted by @aimportantdragoncollector, to help inspire others. Feel free to use these for the event or any future fics (or drawings), since I don't think I'll have time to write them (and I didn't want to overwhelm the ask game lol).

Cheerleader bet: The first 3 holders make a bet; losers have to wear a female cheerleader outfit. I like the idea of Yoichi winning, so he gets to see Second and Third in cheer skirts waving pompoms, but this is your fic (or art)

An AU where Yoichi works as a nurse and Second lands himself in the hospital with a gunshot wound

The 2nd and 3rd are scientific rivals forced to work together by the government to oversee the creation of an important new technology

Ichinii kindergarten AU: Second and Third love pretending to be knights and rescuing people, but Second hates having to rescue princesses because "She's not pretty enough to be a princess" until one day, Yoichi Shigaraki transfers to their school and volunteers to let them rescue him, but wants to pretend to be a princess, much to the amusement of the other boys. Oddly enough, Second has no complaints about this princess.

Deku and Bakugou's uncles both come on the same day to pick them up from preschool, bump into each other, and would you look at that Second, love at first sight is real after all. Meanwhile, Yoichi just thinks of him as a friend at first.

Deku and Todoroki are studying together, when his Uncle Yoichi walks in, with his two best friends, Second and Third, along with his cousin Hikage. Naturally, Todoroki sees the green eyes and pale hair, and immediately thinks that Hikage is Yoichi's secret lovechild. All that's left to do is figure out who's the father, Second or Third? Meanwhile, AFO catches wind that Yoichi has a secret lovechild, and assumes that the father must be All Might. (I left a lot of details out, but it's fun to see what people fill in. I submitted this as an ask, but I was super tired, so it ended up being barebones and I hated it, so I'm rewriting it here)

A modern AU where AFO has been secretly scaring off all of Yoichi's boyfriends. It's actually pretty easy as even without his quirk, he's still terrifying. Then one day, Yoichi brings a certain spiky-haired man home, and not only does he look like the rebel bad boy from every father's nightmare (very different from the previous nerdy cowards Yoichi's dated before), but none of his previous tricks can drive him off.

Genderbend! I guess this is more geared for art, but hey, who's to say our first three holders aren't unlucky enough to be hit with a genderbend quirk while out on patrol

Angel and Devil! Yoichi is an angel, the brother of the Big Guy himself (Yep, AFO gets to be God). Tired of the rules of heaven, he sneaks into hell, where he meets a pair of very interesting (read: hot) demons.

OR REVERSE: Angels, Second and Third are tired of following the overly strict rules of heaven and sneak into hell, which is ruled by Demon King All For One. There, they meet a rather attractive white-haired demon...

After a terrible incident with some hair dye, and a friend who is now on very thin ice, Second's pink hair has now been turned into a really ugly shade of orange, and he has a date in less than 48 hours (I refuse to get over his hair color)

College AU: Second and Third have been friends since they were in diapers, and are now getting physics degrees. One day, Third decides to introduce his childhood best friend to the new friend he made in art club, Yoichi Shigaraki. Then ends up having to Third-wheel as they spend the whole-time flirting

Romeo & Juliet AU. This time, it's Second & Yoichi. I mean, they're both star-crossed lovers doomed by the narrative to die, so why not?

Victorian Era! Yoichi is secretly in love with his servant(s), but is engaged to marry someone else

Second is a horror writer with writer's block. When his apartment lease is up, he decides to finally buy a house out in the countryside, thinking the nearby spooky woods will inspire him. The house tends to inspire him more, what with the random oozing, slow opening of doors, and breezes that sound like whispers. It's almost as if he's really haunted...

Yoichi is in college now and away from his strict brother. He decides to go with his roommate to a party, but his sheltered upbringing has left him woefully underprepared for the wildness of a college party and... Has he been drugged? Don't worry Yoichi, your heroes have come to save you!

Baby Izuku Midoriya is babysat by his uncles! So, while they do all sorts of fun baby things that somehow turn out to be extremely dangerous, Hisashi has a nice dinner with Inko.

Done! I hope I've managed to inspire someone.

[zalrb]

I MUST REALLY LOVE MY FOLLOWERS - BRIDGETON 3.01 review

1. "Dearest gentle reader, did you miss me?" Me:

2. I'm not doing this recap.

3. I maintain that Nicola should be Belle in the next live action we'll eventually do.

4. Idk man, Kathony just feel SO unnatural.

5. MINI MOUSE MAN NEXT TO BIGGER MOUSE MAN

6. Who will be the prize of the season? And it's Colin?

7. All of these women are gorgeous and all of these men are like basic white bread. I -

8. I'm upset because this is supposed to do something for me

and it's resolutely not.

9. Oh please. Francesca looks like every other woman there.

10. Prudence is probably the only character I somewhat like. I think. She's the terrible one, right?

11. I might like that family the most because they're the schemers. They're actually DOING QUASI-INTERESRTING THINGS.

12. Colin is a fuck boy without fuck boy good looks. Please stop it.

13. And I'm not saying he's ugly. I am saying he's plain.

14. This is my problem with Bridgerton. It SHOULD be fun. And it's punishing.

15. Where the fuck is Edwina? I DON'T CARE ABOUT KATE.

16. They should shock us all and have Edwina come back and just murder everyone like Carrie.

17. Leave her alone, Colin.

18. I know the point of this season is Polin but I already know she deserves better.

19. GIVE ME MORE OF THE BICKERING SISTERS. They're terrible. I'm interested.

20. "Well that's your fault for marrying men without title!" But Prudence's man is one of the, like, two most good looking of them all, so you know.

21. OOOOOOOH IS PENELOPE GONNA WEAR LAVENDER NOW? THE COLOUR OF LOOOOOOOOVE.

22. Considering that I barely pay attention to this show, did Penelope do like irreparable damage to Eloise and her family for this fallout to be as serious as it's meant to be?

23. That's a genuine question.

24. This Kanthony love scene is ... awkward.

25. Kanthony? Kathony? Whichever. Whatever.

26. And even when he goes down on her I'm like idk, Outlander would like a word.

Someone is BANGING ON THE DOOR and Jamie does not stop until Claire orgasms, so.

27. So Penelope is basically "draw me like one of your French girls, Jack" but with clothes.

28. The one thing Bridgerton had going for it was the music and I'm not hearing any classical renditions of pop songs. What is the POINT?

29. This ball looks like every other ball in this show.

30. Oh, there's the music. abcdefu is a good choice for her, I do have to say the music choices are at least better than TSITP. She SHOULD be talking to Colin as it plays though.

31. I'm not sure why I hate him, I just do.

32. If she enjoys embroidery let her enjoy embroidery, Eloise. Don't "not like OTHER girls" them please. Jesus.

33. "D-do you all like to read?" I get it, Pen.

34. TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF. NOW. Isn't Francesca meant to have a chaperone? Isn't there a dance card or something? Aren't there RULES?

35. I'M ONLY 30 MINUTES IN?

36. Original Mouse Man, what are you doing? Aren't you a viscount with responsibilities?

37. "I expected conversation, I did not expect to be inspected--" then you weren't prepared at all for this. This is the ERA for that, should you not KNOW? WHAT?

38. Everything is muted and dramatic at the same time.

39. Oh, Kathony in another scene. Are they going to try and have sex?

40. Yes.

41. "I've already spent YEARS taking care of Edwina" I mean, did you?

42. "So why don't we put ourselves first for once?" I MEAN, DIDN'T YOU?

43. BRO, WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?

44. "We have our lives to be viscount and viscountess" man, pull a Downton Abbey and kill him.

45. "Think of the balls as..." You should've had this conversation BEFORE the ball.

46. "It pains me to see you upset." "Then perhaps you should not have come." Ha.

47. "and what I have learned is charmed can be taught" which is funny because Colin isn't charming no matter how much the show tries to convince me he is.

48. I suppose it's better than watching Theo James.

49. AND HE WILL FALL FOR HER DURING THE LESSONS.

50. The handshake is supposed to be a Moment and it's interesting because it's called attention to and yet also breezed by at the exact same time.

51. LOL what she wrote was SO TAME especially for a MAN in THIS society? "Is this new character the real him or is it a ploy for attention?" DAS IT??? Please be serious.

52. oooh drama, if he finds out who Lady Whistledown is, he'll destroy her life. It's just hard to think there are stakes when it's ... Colin.

DONE.

[redstringraven]

thought i'd participate in tmntvday since i've done some art of these two but haven't properly introduced them yet or whatever. OTP questions/prompts for week 1 under the cut!

[ID: a digital drawing of raph and a taller, purple-haired girl (gwyn, an oc). they're sitting on the ground in 'opposite' directions, raph reclined so his back and head are resting in her lap and he's looking up at her, smiling. she's smiling back down at him, and they both appear relaxed and at ease with each other. /END ID]

1) in which TMNT universe does your pairing exist?

the 2003 iteration because that's the only sandbox i play in.

2) introduce us to your OTP.

the idiot turtle is raphael and the lady-himbo is gwyneth. raph is from 3rd earth, and gwyn is from liáfsini, which is a world of my own making/kind of a world-between-worlds or nexus situation.

3) how did they meet?

in the most blunt, nutshell and to-the-point way possible: gwyn and her twin-sister-trapped-in-a-weapon are on the run from this druid (darach) from liáfsini, and she happened to cross onto earth. one of darach's hench-critters mistook casey for gwyn, the boys got wrapped up in a fight, gwyn intervened because she was like hey i probably shouldn't let these guys get wasted, they beat the hench-critter and got a chance to talk after.

they didn't really get along at first on account of raph being protective of his family and suspicious, so he was asking questions, and gwyn being paranoid about their intentions and not liking that she was being asked so many questions. terrible job everyone. ...again, this is an extremely condensed version of events.

4) how is the relationship now?

again, i feel like i have to give a very condensed version because there are a lot of moving parts, here. but essentially they're doing great. gwyn and raph develop a high level of trust and respect for each other, which then leads into a slow-burn/careful cultivation of more romantic-leaning feelings. they don't have much of a 'pining period', it's much more small 'pebbles' being thrown at each other's windows.

eventually one night at the farmhouse they catch themselves staring at the other a bit too long and both them realize kind of at the same time "...--oh fuck", awkwardly go their separate ways for the evening, but in the morning when neither of them act differently around each other they silently agree "...okay, let's try this" and step into a relationship. how long it takes everyone around them to notice the shift is anyone's guess because neither of them are much for PDA.

5) what is each other's love language?

raph's love languages for 'giving' are acts of service and quality time. gwyn's for 'giving' are physical touch and acts of service.

raph's love languages for 'receiving' are words of affirmation and physical touch. gwyn's are words of affirmation and quality time.

quality time and acts of service are the two that tend to be the most prevalent in their relationship, giving or receiving.

their own, personal, 'love language' is taking naps together. neither of them are people who trust easy or like appearing 'vulnerable’, so the act of sleeping in the same space as one another is a big gesture for both of them. and raph’s snoring doesn’t bother gwyn that much; it actually almost tethers her to the present and makes it harder for her to slip into a night terror or experience sleep paralysis.

6) do they get married or have any kids?

no and no. i don't think the concept of marriage is important to either of them, even if they could probably do it in liáfsini. i can see them doing something to symbolize that they're together--like, the concept of rings but something different and tied to liáfsian culture--but actually going through with legal/official marriage or a ceremony? nah.

as for having kids, they can't biologically have kids of their own, and i don't see them actively looking to adopt, either. best chance of them having a kid is "what's with this sassy, lost child?" and accidentally wind up found-family adopting some snarky orphan on a mission or something idk.

7) what is your favorite thing about this pairing? (gush as much as you want!)

*just kind of stands here with my microphone* ... disaster bis on the ace spectrum. goongala. *the crowd goes wild*

[callm3-q]

FINALLY BACK WITH AN UPDATEEEEEEE

Just a long term alliance, not a marriage proposal

[Ch 1- Isn’t that how it’s done?]

WHAT!? BAD! NO NO NO NO NO! AHHHHH! NO NO NO BUT ALSO FUCK YESSSSSS! BAD YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED! HOLY SHIT! IN I-IN LIKE… FUCK! IN LIKE 10 HOURS!? OH MY FUCK…

You good now?

Y-you’re getting married…YOU’RE- YOU, YOU, MARRIED!?

Well… I wouldn’t call it that… More of a… Long term alliance

Of course you would call it that…

Chill out Baghs, I already dealt with most of it

Really?

W-What? Of course! I’m not some soulless person who would give someone a crappy wedding! What kind of monster do you think I am?

Bad said, sounding kind of genuinely sad that she would think that.

W-Well… You are a demon…

…One thing you may not know about demons Baghs… We can through one heck of a party

…

…

…

Ok! 5 hours left… Hmmm… I cannnn… Ooh! I can make a new ring , I just needed one quick for the… asking for the long term alliance… Definitely not a proposal. Anyways! The store bought ones are always just straight terrible all gross and basic [for how expensive they are], non of which are anything close to what Ètoiles is, he’s just… The best. And he deserves the best, obviously. Why else would I marryyyyyy- suggest a long term not proposal alliance. 

…But how should the ring look… We need something that is easy to wear during combat, something that will stay on, and it has to be small, not to much, not to little, something that will suit him. Hmm… Maybe… Stars! That’s literally what “Ètoiles” Means, something like… Like, we could, make thin outlines of stars around the ring, thin lines, so it doesn’t get caught on anything. I want him to be able to wear it all the time so people know that he’s in a long term alliance with me and not anyone else.

Bad had zoned out, not even noticing Dapper watching him from around the table. He only noticed when he felt a small tug on his cloak.

Oh! Good morning Dapper!

Good morning dad, what were you thinking about?

Oh, nothing important

Well, important or not I wanna know

Well, ok then. I’m going to a wedding in about 5 hours

What? Who’s getting married?

Me?

WHAT!?

What?

YOUR GETTING MARRIED DAD?!

Yeah?

TO WHO?! I’LL KILL THEM

Please don’t, and it’s not a ‘marriage’ per say, more of a long term alliance

Your getting married

I guess you could say it like that, if you really wanted to

To who though? Who do you find good enough to marry you. I’ll kill them, nobody is good enough for my dad

That’s sweet Dapper, but please don’t kill Etoiles…

Etoiles?! Two of the people most known for not wanting to be tied down are getting married, what a sight to see

Not married Dapper, just an alliance

Yeah Yeah whatever. What about this ‘alliance’ were you thinking about

Well, I was thinking about just making him something

A ring?

How did you know? But yeah, I wanted something better than the stupid store bought ones, those ones stink

I agree, what design were you thinking of doing?

Well… I’ll draw it out for you, but be nice, I’m not an artist Dapper

…

…

…

It’s so pretty dad!

Thanks  Dapper… But like I said, I’m not an artist…

Just give yourself the credit you deserve, but I would like to make a small sudjestion

What is it?

Make the jewel thingy on the top red

You sure?

Yep

Well, If you say so Dapper, I’m gonna get to work

Ok, I’ll help!

…

…

…

What do you think Dapper?

It’e perfect!

That’s good to hear…

Are you ok?

Yeah…

Nervous…?

Kind of I guess…

It’s normal to be nervous dad

I know…

You’ll be great, and I’ll be there, right by your side cheering you on

Thanks Dapper

Bad choked out, not expecting to be crying. He brought Dapper into a hug, holding him tight. Crying into the top of his head, Dapper gladly accepted the hug. He felt bad, but proud. It was nice to see Bad getting this rush of emotion, felling so deeply about this, trusting someone enough to, finally, have a bigger bond that just a really close friendship.

You’ll do great dad…

All Dapper got in return was sobs, soft and quiet, but still audible.

Dapper looked slightly to the side, hearing the warp stone go off. He saw a small figure peeking out from the door. He signaled Pomme to come in, trying to not disturb Bad, who seemed to not hear the swoosh sound of the warp stone

Are you ok dad?

I-‘m ok Pomme

What happened…?

Pre-wedding jitters…

W-

Pomme paused, not wanting to make her dad more upset or nervous, but still having questions, having not heard about this until just now

You’ll do great dad… I’m sure the person your marrying will be so happy to be with you

Yeah! 

Dapper replied, patting his dad’s shoulder softly. Calming Bad’s sobs down into small hiccups

T-thank you kids…

No problem Dad… How much time before you’ve got to go?

Li-ke 2 hours…

Why don’t we get you dressed then -Pomme snickered, a wide grin sprawled onto her face 

Ok Pomme

Bad replied with a chuckle

…

…

…

You look so pretty dad! -Pomme said, ecstatically 

You think so?

We know so

Dapper replied proudly

You guys want to go get ready? I made sure I got you something you would like to wear, as a surprise from me to each of you specifically.

Ooooh yayyyy!

Pomme and Dapper ran into their bedrooms to get changed

…

…

…

Let’s get going…

Your gonna do awesome dad..

Thanks Dapper… Ok… let’s go…

…

…

…

Woahhhhh, this place looks amazing -Pomme said looking around, mouth agape in awe

Thanks Pomme… -Bad replied with a small smile spreading across his face

You did this dad? -Dapper looked up to Bad in shock

Yeah…

Woah…

Dapper had the same reaction as Pomme, mouth agape

I know it’s kinda crappy-

It’s amazing!

Well… I’m gonna go to, whatever that place is

Ok, see you later dad!

Bye Pomme, bye Dapper

…

…

...

[Dappers POV]

There were a lot of people there, guess word really spread fast, people were crying in joy? Pride? I don’t really know, but still, a ton of people. It would probably make dad freak out a bit.

Dapper kinda was wondering who would walk Bad down the aisle, kind of having a sneaking suspicion of who would. Not wanting to assume anything though.

Dapper saw Etoiles walk out first

He looks… Fine… I guess… Nothing compared to my dad though.

Following he saw Sunny, Pomme, Empanada, Tallulah, and Leo. Pomme leading the group proudly, even though she had just figured out she was a flower girl. 

[End of POV]

Pomme, and all the other little huevitos in their little flower petered dresses, perfectly matching the color theme of the beautiful setting around them. Matching Almost all the things Ètoiles had told in secrecy to Bad, matching the things that he loves. All the colors, down to matching all the tones perfectly, the music, the setting, the time of night, all the stars visible through the glass roof. It was perfect.

Ètoiles saw Bad standing at the entrance, and my god did he look stunning. He felt his face get red, how could he not. He also saw Foolish? Walking him down the aisle, shocked that Foolish would agree. It also looked like he was crying? Again, shocking. But it was cute, they really do care about each other.

Once they had gotten all the way up to where Ètoiles was, Foolish went to stand to the side, behind Bad wiping the tears from his face. Ètoiles took in all the little details of the masterpiece that was in front of him, the luminous glow of Bad’s eyes to every little barely noticeable scar that covered his face, and even the barely visible freckles that were splattered perfectly on his face. He truly was just the definition of beautiful.

The outfit he had on just solidified it even more in Ètoiles’s mind, Bad was wearing a white suit, tailored to a perfect fit. He had on matching white shoes, guessing Pomme had helped him with the outfit, cute. But his suit, my god his suit. It was perfect, almost dress like, but not fully there. It was flowy and moved softly in the wind, like water. That’s what gave it away that Pomme and the other kids helped Bad with the outfit, always making Bad wear these kinds of things, Ètoiles wasn’t upset by it though, better for him. Bad can just find a way to make any outfit look good.

…

Bad inspected Etoiles just as closely, seeing the way his hair effortlessly falls perfectly on his face, despite the wind blowing it in  opposing directions, looking at his eyes, the light green blush spread across his face, the mask that usually hid the details of his face now gone. Etoiles was so handsome, unbelievably and upsettingly so, how can he just so effortlessly look this good. And the black suit he was wearing suite him perfectly.

Both thoughts were quickly stoped when Dapper and Pepito came with the rings, holding them carefully.

Bad picked it up and put in onto Etoiles’s finger, as Etoiles stared in awe, at the intricate work of the ring, ‘Etoiles’ inscribed into it, with a small red ruby on top, seeing how well put together this was, Etoiles was ashamed of how sloppy his would look compared to Bad’s.

Etoiles picked up the second ring and slipped it gently onto Bad’s finger, Bad was shocked that the islands greatest fighter was able to pull something so intricate off, the ring looked almost spiraled, The word ‘Halo’ inscribed on the inner walls of the ring, a small emerald embedded on the top.

…

…

…

Blah Blah Blah, after all the other boring wedding stuff

Vows

Recession

Procesional

Readings

The officiant

Etc

Let’s skip to the good part

[The Kiss]

Bad had gotten Max to officiate the wedding, seeing that he’s done it time and time again for the other islanders.

…

Do you, Etoiles, take BadBoyHalo, as your lawfully wedded husband

I do

Ètoiles stated, with no hesitation whatsoever

And do you, BadBoyHalo, take Etoiles, as your lawfully wedded husband

I do

Bad said, with somehow less hesitation than Etoiles

Then, by the power invested in me, I pronounce you husbands. You may kiss the Groom

Etoiles grabbed Bad by the waist and immediately kissed him, dipping him. 

Bad didn’t fight back, gladly accepting everything that Etoiles did. 

That was the first time they had kissed, and it probably went the best way possible. It went just the way both of them had imagined for so long

They stayed like that for a bit longer, before standing up straight again. Only looking at each other, only letting a quick glance out to the crowd. Seeing the Huevos still covering their eyes in disgust from the kiss made them laugh. They looked back to each other, love visible in their eyes. Etoiles took Bad’s hands in his, noticing that they were way smaller than he thought. How they fit perfectly into his, how soft they were.

Etoiles saw how happy Bad looked, he had never seen him so exited or happy before. It felt nice to see.

Bad looked lovingly into Ètoiles’s eyes, seeing him look back with just as much love. He had almost never felt so happy, first being when he got Dapper. Oh! Dapper! Where was Dapper? Bad looked around for him, quickly seeing him sitting with Richarlyson, Pomme, and Cheyanne by the kitchen. He smiled at Dapper, before looking back at Ètoiles

…

…

…

You did so good dad!

Dapper stated proudly

Y-Yeah

Pomme said, sobbing

Calm down Pomme

Bad said with a small chuckle

I-I-I Can’t! My- my dad-s j-ju-st got m-married!

Pomme said, still sobbing

Bad brought Pomme into a tight hug, gently patting her hair. Dapper squeezed his way into the hug, not wanting to be left out.

[Etoiles’s POV]

Etoiles was talking to Baghera, who was probably crying just as much as Pomme. But… Not out of happiness for him, more out of anger for not asking her for permission to marry her younger-brother-figure… Nice… But it’s not even like I knew, or even poped the question! I only figured out I was getting married like, 15 hours ago! It was sudden, but still the best “Long Term Alliance” proposal I could of asked for.

Look Baghera, how could I have asked for your permission when, first, I wasn’t the one who proposed. And two, I didn’t even know I was getting married until 15 hours ago… sooo, how could I have asked for your permission?

Wait… 15 HOURS?!

Yeah…?

HOW!?

Isn’t that how it’s done?

NO?!

Oh

“OH”?!

Well either way, shut up about me not asking for your permission, be mad at Bad for not asking. I’m going to talk with Bad now, bye!

[End of POV]

Etoiles walked over to Bad, hugging him from behind. Resting his head on Bad’s shoulder.

Oh, hi Etoiles

Hi…

Are you ok?

Yeah

You sure?

Mhm

Ok

Hi dad!

Pomme said, running up to Ètoiles, hugging his leg

Hi Pomme, hi Dapper

Hi Ètoiles

Are you feeling ok dad?

Yeah, why?

You just seem a bit sad is all -Pomme said, moving back to look Ètoiles in the eyes

I’m alright, just tired I guess

You can go chill somewhere quieter if you want, I can keep everyone else entertained -Bad said softly, turning his head to look towards Etoiles.

It’s ok

When you need to rest you need to rest, it’s nothing to be ashamed of love. It was a busy day

I know, I’m just waiting for you to be able to go with me -Etoiles whispered the last part, placing a gentle kiss on Bad’s cheek, making him blush.

Well, we can leave whenever your ready -Bad said, reaching down to hold Etoiles hand- You don’t need to feel bad about it

I know, but we should stay around longer -Etoiles stood up straighter, still holding onto Bad’s hand

your probably right love

Well, do you want to go socialize?

Mmmm… Sureee

That was the most unconvincing ’sure’ I’ve ever heard -Etoiles said with a small laugh

He has a very low social battery -Dapper reminded

True true, I can do the socializing then

Thank you

…

…

…

It had almost been a good hour, and it was almost morning. So Bad, not having slept for a good 30 hours, was extremely tired.

*Yawn* -Bad rubbed his eyes, blinking slowly.

Are you tired mon cheri, we can leave now if you want

Nooo, if *yawn* you can stay awake this long, then I can too

It’s ok Bad, people are leaving already too. It’s been almost an hour, and I’m sure Pomme, Dapper, and Richas are tired already. So we can excuse ourselves

Mmmm… Ok. I’ll go get the kids, then we can leave. My place right?

Yeah, I’ll go get Pomme and Dapper, you can just go get Richas.

Ok, see you in a bit love

…

Bad walked over, carrying a tired Richas. While seeing Etoiles carrying a sleeping Pomme in one hand, holding Dappers hand in the other.

Let’s go home -Bad said sleepily

Yup -Etoiles agreed

[Ch 2- Home Sweet Home]

~in next update~

[If you saw my spelling mistakes... no you didn't >:'D]

[canary0]

Aug. 1st - Dracula 2021

The Log of the Demeter

Fog has settled in over the English Channel, and the engines are down. The men are trying to figure out what the problem is, but the more experienced member of the engineering team already disappeared. We may have overstressed it in our haste. We're adrift, but moving, and the sense of doom, that cold knowledge that your end has arrived, is stronger than ever as we draw ever closer to wherever we're going. The mate is disheartened now even more than the others.

---

Mina Murray's Journal

I came up to the abbey ruin, just Lucy and I to have some girl's time and do some wedding planning. She wants to hold mine as soon as Mr. Holmwood returns from his father's side and Mr. Hawkins is able to come up. I will admit, I also made something of an odd invitation - Dr. Stankiewicz. I don't know if she'll accept since it's so soon and so far, but we wouldn't be able to get married if she hadn't helped Jonathan.

Either way, we went up, and the older woman we met before was there at Lucy's spot. I greeted her warmly and introduced Lucy. They took to one another immediately; Lucy's always been good with the elderly. She had considered becoming a nurse at one time to work with them, but the whole idea of her being around so much sickness made her mother terribly upset with anxiety.

We got onto the topic of the graves around us again, and she gave a warm chuckle. "Do you know? My great-grandfather, whom I told you about before, believed that the reason people have gravestones was to present evidence that they were a good person when they got to heaven. He said they all lugged these big stones up to the pearly gates and showed them to Gabriel and St. Peter!"

Lucy's eyes went wide, and she covered a giggle with both hands. I admit that it was not only what she said, but likely my expression that caused it, as I was quite confused, and voiced it. "Wouldn't it be better to make something more portable? And... detailed?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "I thought that too! Of course, he passed before I was old enough to think of that and get an answer." We all couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Though he was right that many of these gravestones don't have the truth on them, which was part of his argument. This is a coastal town, with a lot of fishing - though there's less business for that after the Brexit nonsense, don't get me started, dear - so you can imagine how many of them went."

Lucy nodded. "Oh... yes, they must have been lost at sea, so they wouldn't be here."

"Indeed!" She chuckled. "Actually, I didn't understand it at the time because I was terribly young, but the family thought to respect his belief with his inscription. Come here, let me show you."

She guided us over to where somewhat newer graves began and gestured to a tombstone. I read it aloud.

Victor Swales 1819-1897 Beloved father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. St. Peter & Gabriel: He's really a decent sort. Please go easy on him.

Lucy covered her mouth. "Oh dear! Isn't that a little sacrilegious?"

She grinned, showing some missing teeth. "Well, the two of them can take it up with the family when judgment day comes."

I noted, "You have his last name still - did your husband take your name?"

"Never did have one of those, dear."

Lucy looked surprised. "Really? From your manner, I could have sworn you were a grandmother."

"Oh, I am!" She replied. "Don't need a husband for that. But it's getting toward time to go. My daughter is visiting, and I don't want to keep her waiting."

We were surprised, but we both waved, giving our goodbyes.

(A/N: Fuck's sake, Mina, while is the entry after I've driven 12 hours so damn long? @_@ Time to get some rest.

I included a few fun things in this chapter, but particular shout out to the non-ace aros! I wanted to use the last name, but she also struck me as a grandma, so... there you go. XD)

[myckicade]

Thoughts on the Finale Double-Header

Because I have so many, I want to corral them into one post, instead of the fifty or sixty I could make.

I'm genuinely surprised by all of the posts concerning dislike - and even hatred - for the finale. Not calling anyone out! Everyone gets their own opinion, and I stick by that, 100%! While I feel that it could have benefitted from another episode or two, or even another week for the final episode (which was surely impossible due to the Season Opener of the NFL next Thursday night), I loved this season. I think it contains some of their best stuff yet. The inter-character growth has felt fantastic, everyone getting closer, even without openly admitting it in audible words. Every episode made me feel something positive, which was nice. (See my notes on Mayans M.C. for how I react to negative feelings... Heh...).

I'll dive into the Nandermo first, because why not? This entire season has been about hiding betrayal, which has been just delicious. Like a group of friends who uncover infidelity amongst a long-married couple, unsure of what to do, but not wanting either party to get hurt. (They knew the guilty one had it coming, but they still tried to keep things hush-hush). I loved that Nandor knew not only what would draw Guillermo out of hiding, but he knew where to find Mama de la Cruz. (Because, let's face it, he was never going to hurt the woman. Fucker nearly got staked because he was so distracted). The intensity of Nandor's forgiveness, for lack of a better term, the whole time they had that stake between them? MM. It was better than makeup sex, because it was heartfelt, and genuine, if a little raw and drowning in hurt. Nandor getting everyone together for his turning-back ceremony? Happily staking the fucking guy who turned his familiar? Knowing Guillermo wasn't ready. The glasses. The effort. The love. That is the kind of Nandermo I enjoy seeing. Would I be upset if they (eventually) got to something romantic? Of course not. But now is just... not the right time. There is so much healing to be done now. Regaining of trust. Rebuilding of bonds. A romantic relationship right now would be the equivalent of a divided couple having a baby to save their union. It wouldn't look good, and it would be a set up for utter failure.

Speaking of that damned ceremony. The fact that everyone came together to save that boy's bacon? Come on. Come on. That even Baron Afanas and Goëjlrm turned up? Even if that part was just for sake of realism, they could have easily said no. They all give a damn about Guillermo, and that was wonderful to finally see. Words are a dime a dozen. Actions are where the proof hides.

FURTHERMORE, everyone checking in on Guillermo made me so happy. The kids coming to see him. Nadja scolding him for speaking to Derek in a manner ill-befitting his station. Even if they were mostly shit at it, aside from the Guide and the Kids, they kept a close eye on him, and that warmed my heart.

"We have a babysitter at home." That made me simultaneously AWWW!!!!, and wonder whether the poor sitter was going to be alive by the time they returned. Y'all know I'm all for their domesticity, so that little snippet was just perfect for me.

While Derek got the short end of the stake, he now has what he has always wanted. Friends. Community. Somewhere to belong. It's just a terrible, ugly way to have to get it.

I want so much more for the Guide. I do. I do agree that they all collectively suck nut at being good to anyone, more than 90% of the time, but that chick was well within her mind to pull her stunts at the Manor. I really do wish we could have had a twelve-episode season, at the very least. Both of last night's episodes deserved to be two-parters. Mm.

Good on Nadja, too, turning the noisy neighbors into an opportunity. She's an enterprising, resourceful broad, that one. Just love her. <3.

I'm still fucking floored, by the way. If someone had asked Nandor from the fucking beginning, this whole season could have been avoided. Granted, yes, that was the point, but it deserves the spotlight for a moment or two. He's such a dumbass, but he knows his vampiric shit. And really, so much good came out of everyone else being dopey as shit for a change. Guillermo learned a valuable lesson. New little lives were created. (R.I.P. to the one those that were ended). The secret surely broke up the monotony for the household for a little while. And, of course, my personal favourite... There are new parents in New Jersey! I'm so giddy for that one!

Liked it or hated it, one thing is for sure. Season Six is going to bring so much inner conflict for Guillermo, and a change of dynamic amongst the household, that I just can't wait!

[sequinsmile-x]

hand holding #33 please ‘bandaging the other’s hand and not quite letting go’ !!

This one got away from me!

And it was also meant to be pure fluff but some hurt/comfort snuck in here.

-x-

Love Like Wildness

Emily helps to prepare dinner on pasta night which, of course, means she hurts herself.

Warnings: Mentions of blood

Words: 2.1k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

He’s running late. 

Aaron used to pride himself on always being on time for everything. It was something Haley would always gently tease him for, a soft smile and a quick roll of her eyes as they got anywhere they were going at least twenty minutes early. 

Being a single father had truly put that to bed. Jack had not only inherited Haley’s smile, but also her terrible timekeeping skills, often leaving it until the very last second to tell Aaron about a school project, or that he needed ingredients for his cooking class. It was the latter that had made him later this evening, having to pop to the grocery store on the way to pasta night at Dave’s so Jack could make cookies at school the following day. 

He sighs as he knocks on Dave’s front door and patiently waits until it is pulled open, Derek smiling at him as he stands back to let him in. 

“Hotch, we wondered where you were,” he says, his eyebrows knitting together as he looks down at the plastic bag in his hands, “You bring your own ingredients to dinner now?” 

“No,” Aaron chuckles, “Jack forgot he has to make cookies at school, I had to get it on the way here.” 

Derek laughs and pats Aaron on the shoulder, “Rossi and Emily are in the kitchen, she was here first so he made her help and the rest of us are in the living room.” 

Aaron nods, “I’ll go put this in Dave’s fridge and grab a beer.” He walks the short distance to the kitchen and smiles at the sight he’s met with. 

Dave is making his famous sauce, the one he’d never share the recipe of no matter how many times he was asked, and Emily is standing at the counter, carefully chopping vegetables with a level of concentration he rarely saw on her face. Dave looks up as Aaron walks into the room and he smiles at his friend.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” he says, drawing Emily’s attention to Aaron too before he frowns slightly when he nods towards the bag in his hand, “What’s in the bag?”

“Eggs and butter. Jack forgot to mention he has cooking class tomorrow,” Aaron replies, and Dave laughs.

“Go ahead and put it in the fridge, and grab yourself a beer whilst you’re at it.” 

“Get me one whilst you’re there, Hotch,” Emily says, winking at him as their eyes meet. 

“Of course, Prentiss.” 

No one on the team knew about them. Something that began as a practical thing, keeping their relationship between them as they figured everything out, became something they both treasured. A precious thing untouched by the judgement or opinions of others. They loved the rest of the team and saw them as family, but any adjustment was hard on all of them, and Aaron knew that Emily worried about it as much, if not more,  as he did. Their relationship, their love for each other, was important to them. The very thing that helped them stitch themselves back together after everything they’d been through. Helping each other slip their broken pieces back into place. 

Loving her was the easiest thing he’d ever done. She was stubborn. Never gave up in a fight, and was, at times, impossible. But he loved her through all of it. Just like she loved him. 

It had only been 6 months, but he wanted it all. He wanted to live with her, to marry her. He dreamt of a little girl that was half her and half him, his future all mapped out in a way that had seemed impossible not too long ago.

For any of that to happen he knew they had to step out of the shadows, that their time loving each other in secret was nearly at its end. But tonight wasn’t the night to do that. 

He makes quick work of going to the fridge and putting the bag in there before grabbing two beers. He twists the tops off and places one next to Emily. Dave was distracted now, back to making his sauce, so Aaron takes the opportunity to look Emily up and down, enjoying her outfit of a well-fitting pair of jeans and a red sweater as if he hadn’t seen her less than two hours ago. 

“How did you get roped into helping cook dinner?” He asks, smiling as she glares at him, her eyebrow raised in what he knows is a promise for later, a familiar sparkle in her eyes that only ever meant good things for him. She opens her mouth to reply but is cut off by Dave.

“She isn’t helping cook,” he says, barely looking up from what he is doing, “she could burn water. She’s regulated to chopping only.”

“She is holding a knife and can hear you,” Emily says, narrowing her eyes at Dave before she looks back at Aaron, “How’s Jack, apart from being on his way to a star baker?”

He smiles at her, at the casual way she asked about his son as if she hadn’t been at their apartment a couple of hours, curled up with the young boy on the couch as she helped him with his French homework. She’d left before Aaron had, before Jack revealed he needed to go to the store, so they could arrive separately. So they could maintain their secret. Aaron hides his smile as he takes a sip of his beer, worried if Dave looked up, or paid them even the tiniest bit of attention, he’d see through them instantly. 

“He’s good,” Aaron replies, leaning against the counter, “He misses you.” 

Emily flashes her eyes up to him, a smile spreading across her face before she looks back down to her task of chopping vegetables, and he knows she’s going to play along. 

“I miss him too, I’ll have to - motherfucker.” She curses loudly and drops the knife to the counter, the clattering and the way she cries out drawing the attention of both men in the room. 

“Em, are you ok?” Aaron asks, placing his bottle of beer down on the counter, stopping himself from touching her. 

“Fuck, I cut my hand,” she says, squeezing her hand tightly, blood dripping down onto the countertop. She opens her fist and hisses, air sucked in between her teeth as she sees the damage where she’d slipped with the knife, a cut across the centre of her palm. 

Aaron gently reaches out, his hand cupping the back of hers as he inspects the cut, “It shouldn’t need stitches, but we should clean it.” 

“The first aid kit is in the downstairs bathroom,” Dave says, a slightly curious look on his face as he watches them, “You go help her Aaron and I’ll clean the blood off my marble countertop,” he raises his eyebrow at Emily, “I’d say that next time you’re demoted to peeling…but why do I have the feeling you’d manage to hurt yourself doing that too?” 

“Shut the fuck up, Dave,” Emily replies, her voice still full of attitude despite the fact she was actively bleeding. 

“Come on,” Aaron says, holding her hand up so it was elevated, a small attempt to slow the bleeding before he could bandage it up for her. He puts his hand on her elbow to guide her out of the room, and they both pretend they can’t feel how Dave watches as they leave. 

As soon as they are in the bathroom he closes the door behind them, grateful that they are alone so he doesn’t have to hold back in his affection for her. He guides her towards the toilet, putting the seat down as he does. 

“Sit down, sweetheart,” he says, turning to the medicine cabinet and getting the first kit out before kneeling on the floor in front of her, his knees cracking against the tiles, “Let me have a look.”

She groans as she opens her hand, pain lancing through her palm as the movement pulls at the skin.

“Dave is never going to let me live this down.” 

Aaron laughs as he opens the first aid kit and removes a bandage to press against the still bleeding cut, making her wince again, “Sorry, baby,” he says as he lifts her hand to kiss to her wrist, “If you want, if he brings it up too much I can partner him with Reid and tell him Dave doesn’t know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.”

Emily chuckles this time, running her good hand through his hair, smiling down at him, “Dating the boss really does have its advantages,” she winks at him, her hand moving to cup his cheek, her thumb skating back and forth over his skin, “Why does Jack have to make cookies?”

Aaron sighs, his eyes fixed on her hand as he pulls up the bandage, pleased to see the bleeding had, for now at least, stopped. He grabs an antiseptic wipe from the kit and pulls it out of the packet.

“This is going to sting,” he says, and she nods, not missing that he hadn’t answered the question. 

“We both know I’ve survived worse.” 

He doesn’t reply to that, he simply presses the wipe into her skin, apologising when she tenses, her teeth clenched to stop herself from crying out. 

“They are for Mother’s Day,” he says, looking up at her, smiling softly when her eyebrows knit together slightly in confusion, “The cookies. They’re for Mother’s Day.” 

Emily sighs, her eyes closing as her hand moves down to his shoulder, squeezing it softly. 

“I’m sorry, honey,” she replies, opening her eyes to look at him, “I thought you talked to the school about this kind of thing.”

“I did, twice,” he says, disposing of the wipe in the trash can next to the toilet, “But I guess I’ll have to again. It’s not that I don’t want him to join in. I just…”

“Want the heads up so you can prepare him,” she finishes for him, and he nods, pulling out another bandage from the first aid kit to wrap around her hand, “Do you want me to go down to the school for you? Give the teacher a piece of my mind.” 

Aaron laughs, a sound that never failed to warm her from the inside out, and he shakes his head. 

“I love you for that, but no. It’s ok,” he replies, finishing wrapping up her hand, and tucking the edge of the bandage in, “Besides, Jack and I came up with a plan for the cookies.” 

He stands up, groaning at the strain in his knees as he does so, and he leans down to pick up the first aid kit, placing it on the bathroom counter, he offers out a hand to Emily and tugs her upwards, his arms wrapping around her as he pulls her into a hug. 

“What plan?” She asks, her arms looping around his neck, her injured hand hanging over his back. 

“You’ll have to act surprised, but you might find yourself with a lot of snickerdoodles on Sunday.” 

It takes a moment for his words to register, and she swears her heart skips a beat. She pulls back from him a little to look at him properly, her eyes searching for his face to see if she’s misunderstood in any way. 

“He’s…making them for me?” 

Aaron smiles at her, his hands pressing into her lower back as he leans in to kiss her, his lips soft against hers. 

“Of course he is,” he says, kissing her once more before he pulls back, “You’re his favourite person,” he smiles, his dimples carved out in his cheeks in a way that always makes her stomach flip, “It’s one of the many things we have in common.” 

She shakes her head, overwhelmed by love for him and his son. For the life they were slowly building together. 

“I love you,” she says, her fingers trailing through his hair, unable to think of anything else to say. 

“I love you too,” he replies, smiling before he leans down to kiss her, “I wish we were at home.” 

“We will be soon,” she mutters against his lips, chasing him as he pulls back. 

Any thought about how she called his apartment home is interrupted by a knock on the door, Dave’s voice travelling through the wood as they break apart like they’ve been burned. 

“You two doing ok in there? We don’t need an ambulance or anything do we? This would be an unfortunate end to Prentiss’ career.” 

“Dave-” Emily warns, crossing her arms over her chest, wincing as she accidentally presses her injured too hard into her arms. Dave chuckles, and she can just picture him shaking his head. 

“I know, ‘shut up.’”

“We’re fine, Dave. We’ll be there in a moment,” Aaron says, shaking his head at his girlfriend. 

They hear Dave mutter something to himself before they hear his footsteps getting further away. Aaron reaches out for Emily’s good hand, squeezing it gently before he lets it drop.

“Later?” 

“Later.” 

-x-

Tag list:

@ssa-sparks, @lukeclvez, @lyds102, @glockleveledatyourcrotch, @hotchnissenthusiast, @danadeservesadrink, @ssamorganhotchner, @emilyprentissisgod, @notagentprentiss, @freesiasandfics, @emilyshotchniss, @thecharmingart, @paulitalblond, @hancydrewfan, @camille093, @whitecrossgirl, @moonlight-2-6, @rawr-jess, @florenceremimgtonthethird, @jareauswife, @ms-black-a, @beebeelank, @aubreyprc, @zipzapboingg, @psychopath-at-heart, @criminalmindsgonewrong, @fionaloover, @kinqslcys, @prentissinred, @ccmattis22, @denvivale317, @thrindis, @hotchsguccitie, @cmfouatslota77, @alexblakegf, @aliensaurusrex, @prentissxhotch, @emobabeyy, @victoiregranger, @stormyweatherth, @wanderingdreamer009, @ssablackbird, @luhconh, @lex13cm

Join my tag list here!

[someinstant]

15 questions

15 mutuals

Tagged by @bright-elen, and I've got a few minutes, so I'll give it a go!

1. Are you named after anyone?

No. I'm actually named in avoidance of someone-- the name my mother initially wanted to name me was a no-go, because it was the name of my dad's siblings who was stillborn when he was only two. He and all his younger siblings didn't even really know about her death until they were adults-- Dad vaguely remembers the pregnancy, but nothing else. My grandmother just-- Did Not Talk about it, and my grandfather gently asked if my parents would consider choosing a different girl's name as one option. So they did, and I'm glad-- I like my given name. It's unusual for my generation, and the name I avoided is just Not Me.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Oh, last week I teared up when a colleague sent me a dumbass email about how he needed my help figuring out how to do something tech related that I have LITERALLY showed him how to do at least once a week for the past two years. And I was just so tired and stressed it just about broke me. Before that, I cried at a friend's funeral two weeks ago. But those were good tears. Sad, but purifying. It had been a long, horrible illness, and it was good to know she wasn't in pain anymore.

3. Do you have kids?

None that are mine by blood or law. But I teach about 180 a year, so-- yeah, I've got kids.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

More than I should. I'm working on it.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

I am an enormous klutz, so team sports are a terrible idea. But I was super into long-distance cycling in high school and college. And I love hiking, but my ankles are such a disaster nowadays from Bad Decisions and various past injuries that I am very slow and measured in what I do now.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Eyes and voice.

7. What’s your eye colour?

The green end of hazel.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I am a terrible wuss about scary movies, so happy endings.

9. Any special talents?

I have a stupid memory for useless things. Like, when I would get bored during college lectures, I would see how much of "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" I could write out from memory.

10. Where were you born?

Northwest of Atlanta by a bit.

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, pen-and-ink drawing, traveling, pottery, and I really like those architectural models made out of teeny-tiny not-Legos.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have lots of houseplants and kidnap my parents' dog on the regular. I really want a dog of my own, but I'm out of the house every day around 6 AM, and I don't get back until 5 or 6 PM. Unless I get a dog walking service, that's just cruel.

13. How tall are you?

Taller than my sister, which is all that matters.

14. Favorite subject in school?

History, literature, and-- oddly-- chemistry.

15. Dream job?

I mean, I don't dream about working? But I like what I do; I just wish the pay was an appropriate compensation for the work, and the state I work in had a better respect for my professionalism.

15 mutuals: Please don't feel obligated, y'all: @frostbitepandaaaaa, @marwoodly, @coffee-and-uhg, @corazondebeskar, @toooldforthisbutstill, @intellectual-carrot, @angrytrigonometry, @lunapascal, @buckybarnesss, @jake-and-amy-are-married, @fbismostunwanted, @naivara, @velvetsunset, @nonableistcatlady, @lilting-aurora

[mercurygray]

Finally got in the writing mood to get this scene down for my Game of Thrones/ House of the Dragon OC. Elin Florent was introduced in an earlier drabble here on tumblr. She's several years older than Alicent and Rhaenyra, and Alicent, at one time, really looked up to Elin as a role model.

The hunt must have cost a fortune.

Elin knew enough about her father's account books to know what the relative price of a party could run to, and this was a party of particular importance - it wasn't every day that the king's firstborn son turned two. A banner day, for certain, though the boy being celebrated was hardly likely to remember. But parties like these were never for the children - they were for the parents, to parade and preen. And matchmake, too, if the gods were good. Anyone who wished to make an impression at court had come for the celebrations and to present Prince Aegon with gifts. (Her own parents had brought a cloak trimmed in foxfurs for the little prince, though it seemed hardly likely the child would ever wear it. Queen Alicent had thanked them warmly, though - the Hightowers had always been friendly with the Florents.)

It would be silly, not to take advantage of such a gathering. Her own mother was sitting with Lady Redwyne and Lady Hightower now that dinner was over and the music had started, and she would be expected there, too - but she had time enough for an errand of her own beforehand.

It was just like him to be watching the party, rather than be in at the heart. He was good at watching - Lannister lions were famous for it. "My lord is not dancing."

Tyland looked up when he saw her approach, his expression momentarily dismayed at the interruption. "My brother dances well enough for the both of us," he said, flatly, nodding in Jason's direction. There never was a more unlike set of twins - Tyland liked being on the outskirts and Jason loved the center, which was where he was at this exact moment, pouring flatteries into the ear of one of the younger Tarly girls and smiling at her giggles. Giggle a little longer, dear, for that's all he'll ever give you. He might bed you but he'll never wed you - Jason Lannister knows he's too good for a Tarly.

Elin laughed softly. "Your brother is a terrible dancer, Lord Tyland. Everyone knows it."

His mouth was set in an unassuming line. "Then that is your answer, my lady."

"And," Elin said, drawing a little bit closer and laying her hand on his sleeve, "I know full well that you are an excellent dancer. You knew all the figures on the lawns of my father's house at midsummer."

Tyland's expression moved only a fraction of an inch, still a little unreadable. Was it disappointment, or unease? Or embarassment, even, that once he had been a man who danced? "That was a long time ago. Many things hadn't been decided yet."

"Many things are still to be decided," Elin said pointedly.

Tyland sighed. "Highborn daughters go to elder sons, as well you know."

"Highborn daughters have tricks of their own," she shot back, undeterred. "And he's only elder by a matter of minutes." She tugged him towards her, forcing him to meet her eye. "Can a woman not want you, Tyland? Or is there no room in your accounting books for that sort of mathematics?"

He did not move to push her away, a little more of his emotion starting to show. "A Florent should marry the Warden of the West, not a nobody clerk."

Is that what your brother is calling you, nowadays? I'll hit him for you if that's the case. "The Master of Coin is hardly a clerk - and a Lannister is never a nobody."

"Elin, please." He was too good, when he was begging, when he was saying her name. And she liked hearing him say her name.

"And," she added, looking at him sweetly and brushing her hand along the front of his tunic until she touched the buckle of his belt, "you were not nobody in the gardens at midsummer, either. If memory serves you were quite somebody." And I've seen enough of naked men to know the difference.

He cleared his throat, the embarrassment now in earnest. "That was a mistake. You only meant to spite my brother."

Oh, Tyland, what lies you spin. "A fine sort of mistake, when you asked first and I answered yes and both of us were sober as septons. And I meant no such thing. Arrogant may do for other women but it won't do for me. I want a husband who thinks - and who listens to me when I say no, and when I say yes." I want a marriage like my parents have - where my mother rules as much as my father does. You'll have your work in King's Landing in the mints and counting houses, and I'll have your house to keep, and your spies to manage. "Besides, I have it on good authority your brother's throwing himself at the Princess," she added, just for good measure, hanging on his belt a little, her knuckles grazing the front of his tunic. "A Florent's hardly going to be good enough for him now. He doesn't hold with clever women."

"That's his loss, then," Tyland said, his eyes transfixed on her hand, his own hands reaching out, ever so gently, to hold her waist. Elin couldn't help but smile. "But the Princess is very clever; she's already slipped her chains this evening."

"Good for her," Elin replied. "Now, will you not slip yours? I'm sure there's an empty tent somewhere," she whispered, smiling into his ear. "Your fox wants to give her lion a present."