#she only likes one person and its my sibling. who is out of state rn

[kingtankgirl]

hanging out with my sibling's nasty gramma bengal kitty.. she hates mee <3

[yuukei-yikes]

chatting with my kagefriend @hibihiiyo about ayaki

i keep imagining how whenever shintaro activates retaining, all the routes bleed together in his mind so post str since its his constant state it's confusing AND terrifying to live past that august once and for all. like, it goes on beyond what he has known and remembers hundreds of versions of. so picture that, but from ayaki's perspective.....

all those routes, and shintaro finally knows. constantly. because shintaro will ALWAYS remember at one point, but then he'll forget again. ayaki is used to it. in fact she resents how she looks forward to it because it's the only time she interacts with... anything!!! she has actual influence when shintaro activates her. depending on what she says shintaro will say something different. routes always differ, at least slightly, but seeing shintaro at the end before it starts again is her one chance to say ANYTHING before she waits thousands of years again until shintaro is born and grows to be 18. she has actual presence when he remembers, even if they're tiny pockets of time in her eternity. however post str this is constant. shintaro is There.

and you know who else is there. HERSELF. time for ayano math.

ayano just fucking hates herself that's like. ayano 101. but what happens when there's 2 of them. they both hate themselves for doing things but those things are vastly different from each other. so... same person, different contexts and choices. which one is most hated by both? the answer is. well. whichever is alive!!

Because THAT ayano, so basically our final route ayano, has everything. but... erm, SHE wasn't supposed to Make It. ayano is never supposed to survive. ayano staying is an anomaly. and ayaki will continue to be miserable as her family and friends are alive and she is not there to be by their side, but that's always been part of the deal, she knew that she wasn't ever getting "a happy ending" because her Happiest Ending is her family's safety. her very existence is being doomed for infinity. but this route's version of her staying around and... GETTING A HAPPY ENDING!??!?!?! THAT.... WAS NOT EVER EVEN CONSIDERED.

shintaro continues to astonish her when he pulls something like this, letting ayano survive? SAVING ayano? who the hell does he think he is. hasnt ayaki suffered enough? why is she also cursed to watch herself get a happy ending. she doesn't deserve it and ayaki knows ayano knows she doesn't deserve it.

THIS ayano roped kano into it, she basically threw haruka and takane at the wolves, she left her siblings completely unprotected. ayaki was Left because she was willing to do something extreme and awful and scared her siblings away and made it right in her mind by cursing herself to be This, just for her "succesful" version to kill herself out of the situation AND get put on a pedestal for it? bullshit!!!!

this route's ayano is glorified and praised by her siblings and welcomed back with open arms and tears. this ayano gets to apologize and make things right, she gets to eat her favorite food again, she gets to become friends with mary, she gets to go on a date with shintaro, she gets her siblings to trust her. she gets everything despite she was a coward and wronged everyone FAR MORE than ayaki did, and she only suffered 2 years of the daze compared to ayaki's eternity in there.

hope articulated so spectacularly their thoughts abt ayaki's psyche that i am straight up quoting her text rn:

"she decided she’d punish herself by dying over and over again, and watching the people she loves die over and over again for all of eternity, until she manages to find some way to get thru to shintaro and fix it and never be able to be a human being again and live normally. thus is forced to become so numb, desensitized, and uncaring to pain and suffering that her otherwise human brain, which was never meant or designed to be turned into an immortal demi deity and the patron saint of suffering, would split in half and make her go insane. which it probably did. her human brain was not meant to live forever, to suffer forever, to watch others suffer forever, to watch the same mundane endless events with no agency or control over how they occur. death, pain, and suffering became tools to win her ultimate game of 5 dimensional, temporal chess and thus she can no longer abide by morals to fulfill her ultimate purpose. deci and ryan’s self determination theory states all humans need to feel relatedness, competency, and autonomy to thrive in their environment, and by martyring herself into a snake, ayaki chooses to deprive herself of all of these things. she is not good at her job and must fail over and over again for eternity because the story playing in front of her is RNG out of her control. ayaki cannot relate to anyone because nobody knows she’s there, not even shintaro except on rare instances. and ayaki has zero autonomy over anything, except her incredibly cryptic vague dreams that rarely even work"

ayaki's big curse is her humanity remaining. It's the pain she feels because of the love she feels, over and over, it nevers gets any easier and it never hurts any less, her love grows stronger and stronger with each reset. ayaki hates herself so much which is why she hates our route ayano Even More

[sundropglass]

15 18 21 if you haven't gotten these yet

thank u sm, I haven't!! :>

15. When parts are working together in your life, what does that look like?

Hmmm it feels efficient and cheerful, like suddenly theres a lot more energy share together rather than apart. It's not so much that they're mushed together into one person tho, there's just an easy flow of conversation between parts. It's actually really nice? I think if we could get to that point permanently (parts but its easier to talk?), I'd be really really happy

21. What kinds of decisions do you check in with parts before making?

theres a lot actually! Arguably anything different from the normal day that may take an effect on my normal life. Such as going out somewhere and what we want/need to get while out. Changing up commissions, talking to someone about the dee eye dee, just being emotionally close to someone in general. Talking about OCs too. It's a bit less "can I do this? (y/n)?" and more "I may do this, do you have anything you want me to add or keep in mind?" Like an invitation to be present and be heard.

18. What has your experience with therapy been like?

euuughhhh uhhh I don't remember almost all of it, but heres a readmore because its long! TW for a mention of a suicide attempt but nothing explicit

The whole family started having therapy/counselling/something when I was around 7-8ish probably after my younger sibling started showing really huge symptoms of trauma very suddenly, and I had a... Un-alive attempt I couldn't remember. anyway, I don't know anything about my experience with Mayo clinic, but I have really weird memories with it that felt more experimental than like help. I feel like they knew I wasn't safe at home, because I was told me to 'go somewhere I felt safe when things got bad', but simultaneously didn't do fuckall to help, clearly.

insert other various shitty experiences with police and mental health services that again, did fuckall, here

when I wasss in my teenage years, my mom finally took me to a woman who claimed to be a therapist, but was actually just a school counselor who was christian. She made a huge point about how I smelled bad :) And! she told mom everything I'd tell her in a session(as well as everything my siblings said), in front of me. There was a lot of purposeful shaming. I started getting in a lot of trouble for anything I said, and how mother did not teach me about hygiene and that was my fault. I have some serious damage from that woman, including an ED now so thank u bitch <3333333333

(that must've been when I split Colorado, because she only talks about horses, in a very spiteful way. I wasted every session on purpose just talking about horses lol get FUCKED bitch)

I was in and out of state counselors/therapists for a bit that I never connected to, and sessions were so far apart it wasnt worthwhile

The trauma therapist I started going to was a good one tho. I feel like I did therapy 'wrong' tho because I said wayyyyy too much and simultaneously not enough. She was really overwhelmed with my story. I'm kinda stuck and I feel like I'm not helping myself enough... eugh... we both decided it was best to wait on having therapy til I'm actually out of this house. theres a limit to what I can do when dissociation is still...needed

She suggested I search out a DID specialist phycologist someday, since she doesnt have the criteria for a formal diagnosis or whatever it was? (I don't understand enough to say) but she said just from what she knows and what I (horribly, shamefully) shared, it sounds like I'm def experiencing Something.

I'm really ashamed because I never had any sort of closeness with a therapist even before dumping all my shit on them, and even then I'm still scared of Proffessionals(tm). I don't have a therapist rn and I don't really want one! not yet! I'm not ready ;-; not until I get to a point where dissociation isnt still.. the best way to cope

[degenerate-otaku]

Hey guys! This is a Future 17 X fem reader fic I wrote for a friend who didn't want to expose themselves as a simp.

please like and reblog if you enjoy and feel free to send a fic request if you want one, but keep in line it might take me a while, since I have a few to write rn.

♡♡♡

Warning: this fic contains smut

----------------------------------------------

There was almost silence in the barren city. Smoke poured into the cloudless sky on that Spring day, which felt warmer than normal. The only downside to that was that you and your family needed more water, so, being the oldest sibling, you went out to fetch water and food.

When entering an abandoned shop, with a stable enough roof, you thought you heard footsteps from inside.

“H-hello?” Your heart pounded.

“Is anyone there?” You looked around, careful not to tread on broken glass or anything useful as you continued walking towards a till, in the hopes that there was anything behind it, since the shelves seemed to have already been ransacked.

Then, someone popped up from behind the till, the sight of them making you tremble.

“Hello, miss...welcome to...whatever the fuck this store is called.” He chuckled, his icy eyes bereft of emotion.

This was Android 17, no doubts about it. You knew that whilst he appeared to be like a normal teenager, he was a cruel cyborg...yet there was something fascinating about him.

You wanted to run, but found yourself stuck to the ground, as if his cold glare had frozen you on the spot.

“Are you hungry?” He asked, almost invitingly. You wanted to nod, but your body still felt stiff.

“What's wrong? Are you...afraid?” His eyes scanned your body, then he smirked.

“You must be...you can't even muster a single word...” He stepped out from behind the till, his eyes not wandering for a second.

Suddenly, he grasped your chin in his hand, which was fairly small and warm...he didn't seem like a cold blooded killer at all. He kissed you, and you just couldn't resist. You couldn't even tell he was a cyborg at all, even when his tongue was in your mouth as you softly moaned. Then, there was a sharp, sudden electric shock, which coursed through your entire body.

He laughed as you recoiled, your hair slightly frizzed up from the jolt, and you remembered who you were dealing with again, returning you to a fearful state.

“Please don't-” You began.

“Kill you?” He cut you off. “Hmm...it would be a waste of a pretty human...I think you'd look much better as a moaning mess on my bed, rather than a blood splatter in an abandoned store...wouldn't you agree~?”

You blushed, realising what he meant. You knew he would kill you if you refused...but you didn't want to throw up at the thought of it, surprisingly, a part of you was rather curious to see how humanoid he was.

You found the strength to nod.

“I'm glad you think the same...whatever your name is.”

“It's Y/N...” You wondered where that courage came from.

“Y/N, huh? Cute...” He smiled, then lifted you up. Being too afraid to protest, you went along with it, letting him carry you as you flew to an extravagant mansion, holding tightly onto him.

Landing at the door, you wondered what kind of things he would do, hating that it somewhat excited you.

17 led you in. It was a huge building, but mostly a mess, with drink bottles, food wrappers and other junk lying around in most places, which didn't surprise you. The androids left most places in terrible states, why would they treat their home any better, especially when it was just some place they stole after killing the owners?

Grabbing you by the hand he dragged you upstairs, taking you into the master bedroom, which you imagined was his, due to the many games consoles on the floor and outfits in the wardrobe.

“Take your clothes off. Now.” He commanded and you did so, feeling a little self conscious and slightly whorish for doing this, besides, the androids had earned a reputation for being deadly beauties.

You stood, not staring him directly in the eyes, fully undressed for him. Glancing at him for a second, his eyes were full of desire, and you could see that he was hard already.

He then made a show of himself, slowly getting undressed for you. His body was not how you expected it to be. He was thin, and actually around the same height as you, and you couldn't help but notice he had some scars.

When he caught you staring at them, he told you to stop before he gave you scars of your own. He instructed you to pleasure him, so you tried to kiss him again and he bit your lip softly before you pulled away.

You decided to kiss his neck, sucking and licking it, then lightly kissed his defined collarbone down to his chest, where you decided to make a risky move by rubbing on and sucking his nipples making him moan gently, a sound you hadn't expected to hear from him but enjoyed.

For a moment you stopped, stunned he could even react in such a way, but he told you to keep going and you noticed how big his dick looked.

Dragging your tongue down his slender figure, all kinds of thoughts popped into your head. You decided to stroke his cock a few times, then use your mouth again, at first licking the tip, then the shaft, then placing your entire mouth around it, going rather slow, causing him to become impatient.

He grabbed your head and shoved his cock into your mouth, causing any sounds you made to be muffled. You sucked his dick, trying your best to please him, for fear of him becoming angry, but also because you hedonistically wanted to pleasure him, so you could earn it in return.

He was basically fucking your throat, his hips jerking involuntarily, God, he had nice hip bones, as well as good thighs, which you grabbed onto to brace yourself, your hands travelling up to his ass, when he suddenly came without warning, his hot seed spilling from your lips and pouring down your throat.

You cleaned his cock with your tongue and savoured the salty taste.

“Wow...someone's a slut~” He teased you, flicking your nose as you wiped your mouth clean. He didn't seem exhausted at all, even though he had blown his load in your mouth and there was a lot to swallow. He didn't even moan your name like you wanted, but you were uncertain if he even knew your name.

He ordered you to get on the bed, which you noted was soft and comfortable, unlike anything you had ever lay on. You rested your head on the pillow and spread your legs automatically when his body hovered over you. His arm pinned both your hands behind your head as he leaned close to your ear and said, “I know you aren't a virgin, you little whore...you better be a good girl, before I have to break you...I don't wanna break my new toy, though~”

“Won't...your sister hear us?” You weren't sure why this was at the forefront of your mind.

“18? No, she's out shopping or whatever...probably fucking someone too.”

Your heart raced as the tip of his dick touched your entrance.

“Beg for it~” He teased you again, rubbing his cock against your dripping wet pussy.

“Please, 17...I wanna be your fucktoy~” You moaned.

“Well...if you insist~” He chuckled lowly then thrusted his cock inside you, making you call out his name already. He was hard and rough, yet his cock was already deep within you.

You begged him for more, even though you could hardly think straight as your tits bounced and your back arched. He called you a dirty slut again and played with your tits, making you whine again.

He flipped you over so he could fuck you harder in another angle, his dick perfectly filling your hole.

"Fuck...you're so tight~“ He groaned as he jerked his hips forward again.

”I-I think I'm close-“ You were able to speak, but he spanked your ass, warning you, ”Not yet...you cum when I say so.“

You could tell you looked like a slut, with your back arched so much, and your eyes rolling up to the back of your head as you panted, trying not to orgasm.

Then he moaned again and with one final thrust, cummed inside you as you yelled his name, orgasming too.

His cum filled your insides and mixed with yours and ran down your inner thighs as he kept thrusting, slower this time, just to ride out the orgasm.

”Shit...no-one's made me cum so easily~“ He praised you just after pulling out.

You collapsed on the bed, your legs too weak and trembly to hold yourself up. Turning, you saw that his face was kind of red, but nowhere as near as your burning cheeks, and he didn't even pant heavily or waste time catching his breath.

He quickly gave you a towel from the bathroom to clean yourself up with and a pill. ”I don't want you getting pregnant...my sister would hate me.“ He remarked, giving you a glass of water to swallow it with.

As you got up and put your clothes back on, 17 went out of the room to get something. When he returned he had a bag full of food and water. The food was mostly snacks, but at least it was something edible and would last for a long time.

”Here's a gift, take it before I change my mind.“ You didn't expect such generosity from him. You sheepishly took the bag and he offered to fly you back to the city.

You agreed and advised him to land discreetly. On the flight, he began to talk to you.

”Just so you know...if I get the suspicion you've been with another man, I'll definitely find them...and kill 'em, got it?“

You nodded.

”Good girl...“ He praised you, making you feel warm inside. ”Now...when you go home...you can't tell anyone about this ok?“ You landed with him as he gave his final warnings.

”I will be back...“ He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, allowing his earring to twinkle in the pink glow of the sunset.

”I promise, Y/N.“

You had to hold back a gasp, but you clearly looked shocked.

”Hm?“ He raised an eyebrow.

”Nothing...I just really can't believe this...you aren't like the person I hear about at all...I didn't think you'd care to remember my name.“ You answered, feeling quite stupid for saying it aloud.

”Y/N...“ The name rolled off his tongue. ”Its fun to say...I wish my name was that nice.“ He smiled for a second, but then scowled, ”Don't get the wrong idea...“

17 turned, said goodbye plainly, then shot off into the distance.

You hoped his promise was genuine.

[cescalr]

u kno how everyone has their own version of Reverse Falls?? well i have one of those lol but rn what im saying is: my version of the au where the pines twins swap places (grunkles for mystery,,,, u kno,,, i think its called Gravity Rises? Anti-Gravity??? I can’t remember damn) yeah i have little bits of dialogue written,,,, if only i could draw... anyway all under the read more:

[[the scene where Mabel cheats off of Dipper in class; prev the scene where Stan cheats off Ford. Flashback to convo;]]

Dipper: Look. All you need is decent grades in math, right? Just copy off me. 'S not like the teachers pay attention during exams, anyway.

Mabel: I dunno, Dipper...

Dipper: Come on. We need scolarships. Our parents can't afford two full rides to college.

Mabel: It feels kinda... fraud-y, though.

Dipper: Think about it this way, hey - those rich kids pay their way past exams to a full ride, this is no more unfair than that. Just levelling the playing field. They're cheating at life - you're just opening up opportunities.

Mabel: True...

Dipper: Anyway. Nobody gets left behind, right?

Mabel: Haha. Yeah. Who's to say I won't leave /you/ behind? [punches his arm, with a smile.]

Dipper: Hah. Very funny.

Mabel: Thanks, bro-bro. Awkward sibling hug?

Dipper: Awkward sibling hug.

[hug]

Both: Pat-pat.  

---

[[Big argument! Replaces the ford accuses Stan of breaking his machine. The conversation with the headmaster [uhhh, principal? in america?? i dunno im sorry] of the school is done w/ Dipper replacing Stan and Mabel replacing Ford bc I Like To Make Things Interesting!]]

Mabel: Come on, Dipper! I mean. Just - what kind of money is in /paranormal investigation/, anyway?

Dipper: What kind of money is in sculpting?

Mabel: That's not fair.

Dipper: Neither is you repeating our parents' talking points, but here we are. It's not about the money, Mabel.

Mabel: Well if it's not, then what's the point of you being on the opposite kind of the country to me?

Dipper: What's the point of you being on the opposite side of the country to /me/? Oh, that's right. You got a full ride anywhere you'd like, and there I am, trouble-maker, crazy-guy extraordinaire with the weird interests and stuipd belief in the supernatural. There was only one film school that'd take me, Mabel. You're the one who locked yourself into California.

Mabel: Why didn't you /tell/ me?

Dipper: I didn't think you'd want me around that much. What have I ever done, except pull down your stupid reputation?

Mabel: You can't still be on that. You know I don't-

Dipper: Still didn't say anything, though did you?

Mabel: That's not fair at all, Dipper.

Dipper: You never say anything. And here I am, always defending you. Maybe I felt we needed some space, huh? Maybe you give off the aura of wanting space. I'm not fun to be around.

Mabel: I didn't mean that. I just meant - you can get... kind of into a headspace I can't follow. I'm not - I don't believe in all your -

Dipper: Dumb conspiracies?

Mabel: Yes! Dipper, just - there's nothing down that road. You know that. You'll be -

Dipper: A laughingstock? Been there. Used to it.

Mabel: It doesn't have to be like that. You're really, really smart-

Dipper: So the only thing I can want to do is science?

Mabel: No, that's not it at all -

Dipper: He's a punk, he's headed nowhere, 'Mabel's a good girl, a real talent, smart and artistic... Dipper has the brain for a good life, but not the mindset. There's Fantartstic Academy, it's in California, so it's not too far from home, but it's on the other side of the state, a good distance away - I think it'd be good for your daughter to get independence, to find friends and a life outside of the trouble her brother brings. Mabel could have a real good go of it -'

Mabel: Stop it! Dipper, you know I don't believe-

Dipper: But you do! You always have!

Mabel: Just because you're /anxious/ doesn't mean you're right! We're okay! You're just paranoid!

Dipper: That's not fair.

Mabel: Oh, so now /I'm/ the unfair one? I get it. Things are only unfair when it affects /you/.

[pause]

Mabel: Why d'you have to do this?

Dipper: I - I have to prove that I'm right, Mabel. I have to. This stuff exists, I know it does, I've just got to find it.

Mabel: And, what? You're going to prove something people have been trying to figure out for centuries? Dipper. How can you tell me to get out of dreamworld when that's where you're staying?

Dipper: Screw you.

Mabel: Screw /you/.

---

As for other stuff;

Mabel makes the portal! It takes Dipper 30 years to activate it after she’s pushed in bc her instructions are Terrible. Partly because she didn’t understand much of it. Bill painted the whole thing as like, a monument of the arts or w/ever im still figuring that one out 

Dipper takes Grunkle Stan’s place as the person they’re sent to visit. He’s been pretending Mabel’s been in various foreign countries for years @ this point. Uses either magic/tech to create voicemails for the family, has her be bubbly but distant, w/ promises to visit that she never keeps, which. you know he feels bad about but he needs to make people think she’s alive

Dipper had a ghost hunting TV show! For like three years, then went off the air bc of low ratings. Apparently real ghosts scare people! And kill them. Who knew. Also everyone thought the special effects were bad. Whoops. Anyway he runs a tourist attraction out of Mabel’s old ‘nature living art lodge’. It makes a good haunted house during high traffic at halloween/Summerween. The entrance to the basement is in his office, which used to be one of Mabel’s art studios. Dipper took all the bill art down because he pays attention to warnings written in blood. 

Im swapping all ages here, so Dipper is good friends with Pacifica and Wendy. Gideon is ... a threat. Lee, Nate and Thompson are still in town. Tambry and Robbie are not. 

Soos is 8, Fiddleford is 13, Stan and Ford are 12. Etc. 

Because of how we’re swapping this, some people’s parents might have to become their children. I’m not a fan of that, but we’ll see. Filbrick Pines was the youngest sibling of Mabel and (Mason) Dipper. He’s not well liked by the family. And he doesn’t like his own family all that much, hence the distance between them. He likes his kids even less, though, so Gravity Falls they go! I hate that guy. 

Ma Pines may or may not come with them? Hmm.

[medranochav]

my moms been living with us for 4 months now. her stay was initially tolerable but is now triggering and I find myself regressing in a lot of ways. Her grief has evolved into torment and per her m.o. she'd like for her issues to take first priority. Except, my sis and I are grown now, and as a therapised household (literally we've all been in counseling, babies included) though we still lean on each other for support, we ultimately don't function codependently.

And beeecause that's not how we grew up, I think my mother is now having to contend with the reality that she has to do the emotional work of surviving her many traumas (and currently her many dramas) on her own. We support her but we can't fix it for her.

Currently, it's a crisis a day and she's spiraling into mini catastrophic states everytime. Which was sufferable at first because despite my labored support, I still maintained my boundaries and didn't adopt her distress as my own. The problem now is the increasing frequency with which these crying spells are taking place. Not to mention the fact that she's been doing so in front of the kids; something that would normally be acceptable because my sis and I make space for feelings (even our own) in our home. The difference being, we do so responsibly. We listen, we talk, give affection and/or space but always with the fundamental knowledge that our emotions belong to us individually and only we can be accountable for them. A gentle reminder that though part of a unit, they still have agency and accountability.

This interdependency makes way for a more compassionate exchange. Whenever they see us cry or be vunerable, the kids have the wherewithal to approach us without attaching themselves to our emotional circumstance. It's an empathy that perceives our emotional reactions as relatable but still not their responsibility. I've seen our work proven time and time again.

One example is when my sister's [redacted] died and the boys spotted her crying on the couch. Without being prompted, they approached her independently, commiserated, hugged and kissed her and shortly after went back to playing on their electronics. It was such a graceful display of emotional validation that demonstrated their love for her without sacrificing their own desires in doing so. Truly remarkable, that at ages 5-8 they maintained boundaries while still being there for their mom.

They're also there for one another but it's seldom a sinking ship. And when emotional support is rejected they respect that as well, without taking it personally [tbh that has more to do with concepts of mandatory consent that we impart on them, but as is evident, it applies. #intersectionality] It's an ongoing practice that I'm proud to be a part of, considering the kids have codependent figureheads in both their maternal and paternal families. WE'RE TRYING TO BREAK CYCLES HERE.

Yes, our home is a safe space for emotional processing but always leveraged with the emotional balance of self reliance, awareness and resiliency. The kids have proven to have the capacity for this and through teaching them, so do we.

It's human to have outbursts, but my mother's pattern is proving to be less intrinsic and more deliberate. She needs an audience in order to experience catharsis. A potentially reasonable behavior except for it's her only one. So it's imbalanced and seeks refuge in the reliance of our total empathy.

Furthermore she's disingenuous in her emotional performances. When approached out of concern, she responds with the proverbial, "I'm ok." Like, its subtle but super manipulative to say that, when we can CLEARLY see she's not. The kids see and hear her, the least she could do is not gaslight them. And I'm not saying her tactics are successful but it exposes the bby's to unnecessary dysfunction and covertly teaches them to assume the responsibility of communicating her emotion for her. She's also non verbal and unpredictable and tho not at her best rn [like, literally who is? this year has wrecked us all] she and we deserve proper communication.

The mind games are soul sucking and triggering for me in a way that is not for my sister. Though we share a mother, the repective versions of her that we experienced as children differ greatly.

My sister's the eldest and spent the first couple years of her life as the only child to a very young mother living alone in America after being displaced by the civil unrest in her native El Salvador. By age 3, with the addition of a new baby sister (my moms 2nd) she was sent to a country fully at war. My sisters would spend the next half decade of their lives in sunny wartorn tropics, watched over and raised by our family of four women. A blissful antithesis to their future with our mom. Upon the return to their forgotten country of origin (USA) and severed from the only family and community they've ever known, the girls were whisked away by a mother they barely remembered and a baby brother they had never met... marking the beginning of my mom's descent into single motherhood.

My mom resented having a brood of kids, namely her 2nd and 3rd, who's father was abusive and absent. Don't know much of the facts outside of what she would ritualistically berate my siblings about during her brutal tantrums -as if it were their fault they simply existed. The second born, my other sister, left home at 12 and has been estranged ever since and the third, my brother, has recently severed bonds abruptly claiming a new life with a woman he's known barely a year yet now calls wife. Proving that despite being raised by the same woman we all had different mothers.

Since my siblings endured a childhood with a volatile, violent woman who managed her emotions thru physical abuse... when she wasn't, she was neglectful of them, turning her attention onto me... the youngest (four years removed from the rest of the pack). I bore witness to said abuse until I was 5, when it was litigiously exposed, forcing her to abandon corporal punishment and rely solely on mental/emotional abuse. That's the version of my mom I got.

I was 10 when my sister left for college. Just my brother and I remained. Similarly to each other we both lived in service to our mother. Whereas his duties were more physically laborious, mine consisted of full on emotional labor. I spent most of my childhood navigating a homelife that was so saturated and occupied by my mother's opera of a life, that there was no room for my feelings, thoughts, desires or identity. I was her plaything, a person sans agency. My age and vulnerability proved advantagous when grooming me. I learned to behave in ways satisfactory to her needs. I was made to react to (and collect) her emotional distress, endorse her judgements of others, perform well in school as a testament to her rearing, and accept her violations of me as normal. I was a shackled spectator, whose own emotions were mere reflections of her dramatizations. I was tailored to be the MOST convenient. So I kept secrets and coped alone. I knew just enough abt myself to remain human but lacked the vision to actualize it. And because emotional abuse is so insidious in its indoctrination, I was really none the wiser until I too moved away years later.

I'm almost 30 now and I'm a mess. I can't establish enduring relationships, I'm fat, I'm broke, I'm debilitatingly avoidant, socially inept, codependent, confused and lack significant self worth. I spent the past decade delving deep into undoing all the work done to me to keep me a reliable supply for my mother and coming to terms with all the time lost in doing so. I've had glimpses and proof of another life but this year sent me back to old coping mechanisms and devastatingly familiar relationships. I read that by its very nature, all pandemics have to end and I thought I was strong enough to share a definite time&space with my abuser for the foreseeable future.... but with no end in sight, I kind of really wish I had established a clearer version of myself and where I stand in this family, to her.

Similar predicaments flung us both to the south and having her here is like a screen forging images of the same dysfunction I exhibited upon my arrival 7 years ago. There's so much I wish I could tell my former self, namely, "it's not your fault. you're not alone. you don't have to try so hard and tomorrow is another day" And perhapz it's this layered vision of myself as seen thru her that compels me to want to save her, but doing so requires me to get too close to a flame I've yet to extinguish. Im not foundationally sound enough to go up in flames and rebuild afterwards, I need a few more rounds of therapy for all that. I'm a stitch away from coming apart at the seams. Weak construction, but I'm still standing. I have more life to live and can't risk the breeze of my mother's chaotic whims to topple what's taken years to forge. I love her, because she's the only mom I got and because she's the kids' only access to our motherland. How can I reconcile this version of me with this version of her?

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Oh Disneyland Paris sounds fun yeah! Were you and your roommate already close then? I went to Walt Disney's world with my aunt and cousin when I was like 11 but it would've been way more fun if I could've taken my best friend with me for sure. Maybe we can go to the one in Paris now that she lives just 3h away from me! Oh I see, sounds like LA was really fun for you yeah! your roommate didn't mind third wheeling tho? Hahaha

Yeah Canada is beautiful but what I liked about it the most was the massive improvement in quality of life I had compared to where I was living before and just being able to be who I am and people accepting me for it. Not being worried about violence 24/7 felt pretty fucking great too. So yeah I highly recommend living there if you ever get a chance. But I am loving Portugal so far, people are a bit more judgemental here tho but I like that it's easier to travel to a lot of countries I've always wanted to go to. Everywhere you go there are pros and cons tho so sorting out priorities is key. But Toronto is my favourite of all the places I've been, before living there for a year I had already been two times!

Jesus 50 states, sometimes I forget how big the US is. And you can totally do it if you plan it out! After watching Bly Manor tho I really want to go to Vermont especially during autumn season looks really pretty! There's this fic I love (only the sun by prestonarchives) where Dani and Jamie go on a road trip from Vermont to Maine and I did their entire journey on Google maps street view bc I was so obsessed with this one chapter fanfic I had to immerse myself entirety in it hahaha. So now I want to go there irl. Here's the link if you haven't read it before!

https://bit.ly/3BLy4WR

Omg I totally remember reading that on CBML and being a bit confused bc I was like why would she think you can't see the moon from the great wall of China HAHAHA but I thought it was really funny and endearing yeah it's even funnier now that I know you said it irl haha.

Oh so ENFP-T means extraverted, intuitive, feeling and prospecting personality with a bit of turbulence. Which just means you're curious, perceptive, enthusiastic, an excellent communicator, festive and good-natured. On the other hand you can be disorganized, unfucosed, a people pleaser, overcommitted, too optimistic and restless.

I wonder what Jamies and Danis mbti are as well as their zodiac signs 🤔 I think Jamie might be an ISTP-A bc she's definitely an introvert, very practical, stubborn, assertive, layed back and energetic at the same time. And Dani is either an ENFP-T like you or an ESFJ-T with the whole selfless thing going on.

AE already made it canon that Jamie's an aries (and it makes sense) but I can't figure Dani out. I've thought about her being a leo ♌ bc she's generous, passionate, warm-harted and dominant in her own way and THE HAIR haha. But she's got some pisces ♓ vibes going on too...idk. aaand I'm back at it again with the astrology signs haha.

To be fair your recent drunken exp it was dark and at least you didn't think the road sign was a bear or something (don't know what kind of wild animals you've got over there) that you wrestled with and ended up in a ditch and your best friend let you believe that happened for 3 years up until recently haha. 😂 but yeah some things happen for a reason, having life threatening health issues doesn't sound great tho, but I guess it's a good thing it stops you from drinking too much and making dumb decisions. And hey maybe I secretly want that to happen again idk maybe moving countries is not exciting enough, I have to go out and make a complete drunken fool out of myself in a completely foreign place hahaha. I guess that did kinda happen last month when my best friend came to visit me from Spain and we got drunk on wine, I got lost on the way back home and it was way past curfew. 🤔 shit I'm 29 will I ever learn...

Episode 9 is 😢😍🥰😰😭🤬☠️ just the worst roller-coaster I didn't even know I was on. Haha I was more pissed off than heartbroken the first time I watched it ngl.

Well then maybe the way you do accents is friendly and funny so people can't really get mad at you haha. Like Dani! Oh so that's called a Geordie accent! I see, it's really really cool. AE said Jamie is from Lancashire but that's a whole county isn't it? Idk if there's a specific accent to this region. Knowing you speak kinda like Jamie is something else tho, I think if anyone who spoke like her ever talked to me irl I wouldn't be able to pay attention to what they were saying 😂 just the accent haha.

Oh so you already have 4k something words for it nice. I'm kinda starting to feel an obsession with this medieval AU growing in me, I made a Pinterest board just for it ngl hahaha but I'm still resisting creating anything for it, I did a face study yesterday for Dani and Jamie to see if I finally pick up the idea and just do it but my brain was still like "I don't want to do this rn" and was just being a little bitch about it so I'll just let it cook for longer see if we can reach an agreement eventually (if ever) haha.

Glad to hear you had a good weekend! Even if it left you feeling exhausted in the end. And yeah it makes sense for you to say you don't have favourites haha! Have a great week Colour, take care! 👋✨

Yeah me and my roommate have been friends since we were like 14 so when we went to Disney Land we asked if we could be roomed together because we've been best friends for that long now... been best friends since school and now we live together. She's seen me at my best, my worst, has seen me in all my stages in life and has been there for a lot of the rough stuff I've been through and I've been there for all the stuff she's been through!! Nah she didn't mind at all we had some moments where me and my ex would just go and be a couple and have dates but my ex didn't want me travelling that far alone so invited my roommate too because she didn't like the thought of me flying 11hours alone or being in airports alone so my roommate came with me and we had a great time Awwh good I'm glad it was such a nice place and that you didn't worry about violence all the time but I'm so sorry you ever had to worry about that anyway that can't be easy. I would honestly love to live in Canada I really hope I get chance one day... I'm glad you're loving Portugal but sorry people are judgemental there but I am glad it's easy for you to travel around to other places... oh yeah every place has it's pros and cons I mean England has some pros but it sure has a lot of cons too so I know all about that Yeah America is SO big but I do want to get around all 50 states at some point and I am stubborn enough and determined enough to make it happen eventually even if I don't get around them all until I'm like 70 I'll make it happen haha!! No I haven't read that fic but it sounds amazing so I'll definitely check it out thank you for sending me the link Yeah... that really happened to me and it was just a dumb moment where I had this momentary lapse of knowledge in my brain and now I look back at that question and I'm just like... "you idiot" and this is why people are shocked when I get questions in quizzes right because I have said some really dumb stuff but I'm glad people found it funny and endearing... and I'm glad it makes it better to know I really said that haha Oooo I didn't know that, I like that and I think it's definitely fitting for me!! I think from what you've said about what ENFP-T means Dani could easily be that too and I don't know anything about the other one but I will take your word for it matching Dani because you know way more about this stuff than I do. I have no idea for Jamie though. And with zodiac signs I love that Amelia looked at Jamie and thought she was an Aries, as for Dani I have NO idea what her zodiac would be... in CBML she's a Leo but in MoU with what I have planned for her birthday she'd be a virgo but I don't know anything about zodiacs... all I know is all the pieces I've ever met have been the opposite of what Dani is so maybe that has something to do with their whole charts but I know a lot of other people always make her a Pieces and I trust what other people say about zodiacs more than what I know about them because I really know NOTHING about them haha Nah I knew it was a road sign because of how heavy and hard it was- nah we have no bears where I live... I don't think we have many dangerous animals where I live... got a couple of badgers that can be pretty aggressive but that's about it we don't have much that is scary here or at least not in the little part of England I live. Having life threatening health issues has been hard and since having my spleen removed in January (that was the surgery I needed to try and fix the issue I had) things are even harder now because I have to take antibiotics for the rest of my life to stop me getting any infections because if I ever get a chest infection now or a really bad cold it can be really dangerous but I take it all in my stride and not drinking is just a way to make sure the antibiotics actually work properly and to make sure nothing happens to me... and like you said, means I don't do anything dumb too... haha drunken stories are the best I have been lost a few times when I've been drunk... and I don't think you do learn, I have siblings that are

like 40 and still do dumb shit... I know at 27 I am still doing dumb shit too I don't think I'll ever learn haha 😂 Its such an emotional roller coaster and honestly I was just devastated the first time I watched it... no TV show or movie has ever made me cry the way Bly Manor did when I first saw it and it still makes me cry now. I can cry just thinking about that last episode. I definitely mean it in a friendly way so I hope it comes across like that. Yeah the accent in Billy Elliot is a Geordie accent and its my favourite accent there are other accents around the north that are called different things. Yeah Lancashire is a county and again in Lancashire there are loads of different accents I can't really pinpoint Jamie's down to a city I just know it's Northern. I'm from Yorkshire but don't have a strong Yorkshire accent I just have a Northern accent, like people never believe I'm from the place I'm from because I don't sound like I am but you can definitely tell I'm northern... honestly there are so many accents in England... you can drive for two hours in any direction in England and the accent will change like two times at least it's insane... see a lot of people say that but I am not a HUGE fan of the northern accent and I think it's because I grew up there. I much prefer Dani's accent to Jamie's but like I said to me, Jamie just talks normal there is no accent really haha Yeah 4k words for it but it's all jumbled up it's not like a chronological story yet it's just all over the place haha but I hope I can get it all structured properly soon!! Awwh good I'm glad you're already interested in this medieval AU!! That makes sense you're resisting creating for it but I think it's so cool you did a face study for Dani and Jamie even if you didn't wanna finish it I think letting things cook for a while is always a good idea if you're not in the right headspace right away I had such a good weekend but I am so tired and today I had a busy day too celebrating my roommate's boyfriend's birthday so I've had so many days that have been so busy and right now I am just really to sleep haha!! Yeah definitely don't have favourites but I have spent more time with one of my nieces than the others simply because I always look after her if her mum and dad are working and I'm not... like until I start this new job I am looking after her for an hour every day after school while she waits for her mum and dad to finish work but I don't have favourites haha!! Thank you so much I hope you had a great weekend and that you have a great week too!!

[mochuelovelli]

Lilith for the character ask?

Oh boy, a controversial character! Gotta say, I stan James Charles /J

How do I feel about this character?:

On a real note, I do like Lilith as a character. When we first meet her, she's pompous and proud. Oozing with entitlement, she's easy to route against and you like to see her get worked up and "brought down" to Eda's level as the wild which so eloquently put it. Later on, but not too much later that it feels disingenuous, we really get to see her show that she cares for her sister. One might believe it is *Eda* being ridiculous, as far as the audience is aware, Lilith's offer holds little downsides. Eda would be cured and be afforded the luxuries of the upper class AND keep her magic. All she had to do was be the Emperor's soldier.

As to not get off track by talking about Eda, (im sure Lilith herself would loathe that lol) Lilith's reveal to have cursed her sister over a spot in the emperor's coven was...controversial to say the least. I don't think it's unpopular to voice that, yeah. It could've been communicated better to the audience since I saw plenty of commentators and regular fans themselves either thought Lilith cursing her sister was *needlessly* petty and not at all thought out (which yeah it kinda was).

From where I stand on that issue is, yeah, Lilith's whole reason to curse her sister could've been avoided by just talking to her sister and asking her to let her have this. BUT, I think a lot of people forget that the Emperor's coven would want to limit the number of powerful witches in their coven. Sure, Belos would want to be protected by a bunch of loyal soldiers, but he wouldn't want too much of the population to ever have a much power as him. So limiting the number of members in not just his coven but possible in the other major covens, would aid in controlling that population.

This might be pure hogwash but like, there are a ton of other "lesser" covens. So in my mind, it's more likely that the general population of witches gets sorted into one of the various miscellaneous. If you think limiting yourself to only practicing Illusion magic sucks, imagine only practicing whatever the fuck the "swag coven" does.

Lol gonna add a page break this shit is getting too long

Romantic Ships for this character?:

Hm, it's only s1 and we haven't seen her interact w/ many characters outside of her fam/Belos/actual children. I kinda jokingly ship here with Steve lol. Kikimora and her also have a funny dynamic but in all actuality, I don't ship her w/ anyone rn.

Non-Romantic Ships for this character?:

Her and Hooty lol. I mean Eda is an obvious answer but like, Hooty fucking with Lilith is too funny to not want to see. Her and King would be great too, probably get some good B plots out of it. It would be a good contrast since they both can be petty but in different ways and I think that would help flesh out their characters a bit more and maybe cause some introspection (at least on Lilith’s end lol)

Unpopular opinion about this character?:

Lol. I feel like she is such a divisive character in general that most opinions about her aren’t too out of the main stream. I guess a more meta take is that when she’s portrayed in fanworks, usually fanfic but not exclusively, very...one note lol. She’s usually a pretty flat, boring character in an attempt to highlight the contrast between her and Eda. She’s the straight-laced, “responsible” sibling who has a chip on her shoulder. In fanon, that equates to her characterization to either be like, completely and utterly apologetic to the point where it becomes unbelievable for any person to do. Her apologizing or making amends is usually quickly forgiven by Luz/and or Eda. Sure, Luz is very forgiving person naturally but like?? She’s wasn’t mad in canon too much about THEIR well being (almost getting impaled), she was specifically pissed about Lilith betraying Eda. 

So, if Lilith is a big part of your story (and it’s working in the realm of canon), then this should be a problem which doesn’t get resolved by just ONE big action. I also feel like her being on better terms with Eda would come BEFORE Luz since Eda’s main gripe with her would be about her being annoyed by Lilith’s controlling nature and the fact that she didn’t trust her enough to talk about her feelings back when she was first cursed (also her using Luz against her but I feel like that would probably be a hurdle that wouldn’t really be over come until Lilith in turn would be willing to sacrifice herself for Luz while also making an effort to care for Luz as a person not just see her as a “pet”). Hhhh this section is so long and its kinda bleeding over in the next question so-

Something I wish will happen or would have wanted to happen in canon?:

yall if you are still reading I am so sorry sksk

I want Lilith in general, not to be forgiven by either Luz or Eda. Eda probably early on stating about how she is unsure if she could EVER forgive her sister for what she has done. BUT, critically, Eda would see that Lilith is trying and she is willing to work with her (with a unhelpful dose of teasing) because at the end of the day she still loves her sister. For the relationship they had before everything with south, for knowing her side of the story even though she believes it doesn’t justify her actions. She understands and sympathizes, she’s grown a bit softer thanks to Luz, which is very funny since I want Luz to be the one who is the hardest to convince Lilith actually had a change of heart but more on that later. 

Before I move on to what I want her path towards forgiveness with Luz looks like, I want to bring up a parallel that I haven’t seen many people make. Fans always talk about the parallel between the Clawthornes and Luz/Amity, and rightly so because there is a lot to extrapolate there, but I think another interesting dynamic that might be interesting to see in s2 would be an episode that focuses on lost friendship/sisterhood with the Clawthornes and Amity and Willow. It’s kinda funny that Amity and Willow’s friendship was ruined because Willow was too “weak” while Eda was too “powerful”. In a potential episode, it can show the progression both Eda/Lilith and Willow/Amity are making in rekindling their relationship with each other. For Eda and Lilith this would be a lot more rough around the edges since it both be either the first or one of the first attempts at doing so while Willow/Amity would maybe be further along yet still have some major/minor hang ups with one another. With Willow/Amity, their relationship would either be rounding the bend of fully moving past the “idk how to feel about you stage” or it is stated outright that Willow forgives Amity, (and by forgive, I mean in the “we both know what you did, you’ve actually changed. we won’t have the same relationship that we once had but I’m okay with trying again”). In contrast, Lilith and Eda would reach a understanding and come up with some ground rules on how to handle each other (Eda’s main take away from this “episode” would be what I previously stated in the last question), ones that will be more like guidelines cuz its Eda lol. Also what separates the Clawthornes conflict from the Willow/Amity one (besides the obvious) is that the Clawthornes both know how the other works. Which buttons to push and all that so both of them are going to have to learn to resist doing that, at least a bit, in order to actually progress. 

ANYWAYS, I also want Luz to be the one to regard Lilith the coldest. Luz refusing to let Lilith teach her anything despite probably having more practical/book smarts knowledge on magic theory than Eda because she doesn’t trust her. If they are gonna use that masked dude as a spy, I want Luz to assume Lilith is somehow a coconspirator. This plot thread doesn’t have to be going at 100% the whole time, (in fact I would want it to be a temp thing maybe lasting a couple eps at most or like, just something that is hinted at but not dived deeply until the second half of the season). Really, Lilith has a hard time because Luz straight up doesn’t give her the opportunity to really express her regret/remorse. Lilith probably won’t at first give her a ton of reasons to forgive her as she usually attempts at coming back at Luz’s snide remarks with her own quippy comebacks. Sksk a really angsty end to an attempt could include Lilith saying something to Luz after going on a small talk with her (where yeah Lilith has improved but still needs noticeable work) that she “reminds her a lot of Eda” and Luz bites back with something like “Oh yeah? You going to curse me too? You want another person you can force to do what YOU want?”. 

Hell maybe “parental problems” could have Lilith poke at, either on purpose or accidentally, Luz’s feelings about going back to the human world and Camila. Lilith reminding her, maybe unknowingly, reminds her a lot of her mom and that causes her to blow up on her. Luz would hate that comparison, thinking about how similar her mom and Lilith are to one another. That because she still has such a strong dislike of Lilith, it bleeds over into how Luz views Camila and vice versa. In that, both Camila and Lilith value respect, an adherence to the rules, have a great sense of wisdom (arguably for Lilith lol /hj), and (eventually for Lilith once she gets to know Luz better) a genuine want for Luz to succeed and belief in her even though they are critical of her actions at times. Sure Eda reminds her of that more, motherly protective kind of love, in which she would do anything for her to be happy and healthy. Lilith can be the other side of that, the worry and slight doubt. That familiar way they each go about trying to understand and get close to Luz yet not quite getting it yet would still do whatever she’d ask for her sake. Luz at first would take Lilith being disappointed in her actions as an accomplishment. As they grow closer and the more Lilith reminds her of her mom, it becomes scary. The disappointment hurts and in an effort not to feel like that again and to not want to think about the comparison between Lilith and her mother she will snap back at her. Eventually Lilith would then have to change again and reassure her that she cares and by extent, her mother cares to. It is here Lilith is willing to let go of being so constantly controlling and learns to encourage first (or do some form of the compliment sandwich) and Luz comes to peace with her feelings about her mother and understands her position better. To be able to love herself even if she knows that she will always try to do her best. 

oh my fucking god you made it im so sorry i guess i had a lot of thoughts. fffffff

[lunatm]

❛ ✶ ( KELSEY MERRITT , CISFEMALE , SHE/HER ) . who the hell is blasting PINK LEMONADE by JAMES BAY at one in the morning ? nevermind , that’s just LUNA HEARST from 1511 . apparently , they are a TWENTY-THREE year old ARTIST from PACIFIC GROVE, CALIFORNIA , and they’ve been living at the complex for SIX MONTHS . i heard they can be a bit - RESERVED , but they make up for it by being so + PASSIONATE — which makes sense , considering that they are a CAPRICORN ! when i think of them , i imagine OIL PAINT STAINED CLOTHES, PRINTED PHOTOS AESTHETICALLY TAPED TO THE WALL, A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF GLOSSIER PRODUCTS . and of course , don’t forget to follow them at ( @PHASEDLUNA )

hiiiiiiiiiiiii im brenna 😌 im so excited to rp w yall omg. im fighting a migraine rn so im sorry if this is messy, but here’s my girlie!!! this is gonna be kinda short bc my brain is so 🥴 rn asljkascnj lol anywayyyysssss my discord is: ʙʀᴇɴɴᴀ#7518 PLS PLOT W ME 👉👈

☮ QUICK STATS. ☮

NAME: luna imogen hearst

FACECLAIM: kelsey merritt

PRONOUNS: she/her

SEXUALITY: heterosexual (unfortunately)

AGE: twenty-three

BIRTHDAY: december 27, 1996

ZODIAC: caprisun

☮ BASICS. ☮

her dad is both an heir (direct descendant of the hearst family) and a co-founder/ceo to a massive coffee franchise. her mother is an english professor at cal state monterey bay. they met in college at csmb, fell in love and got pregnant young (20) with yours truly

miss luna reigns from a small-ish town just outside monterey, ca called pacific grove (yes like in big little lies but that’s unrelated — her mom was just too obsessed with steinbeck).

coming from a place that favored art and literature over most anything else, luna thrived creatively. her passion for sketching and painting was only supported by her community of friends, family, and mentors.

her family lived in a large historical home filled with love and support. of course there was the typical fighting between siblings and growing pains, but that never shadowed over the overflowing love her parents pumped into their family.

a few months after luna turned 15, in a very dramatic way, it came out that her mother was actively having an affair with a coworker for at least a year and a half prior. it completely shattered her family and caused a massive rift in luna’s relationship with her mother. her mother immediately filed for divorce, expressing zero remorse and breaking luna’s heart in the process. basically her mother is dead to her lol (she still keeps in heavy contact w her mom’s side of the fam tho)

by age 16 luna, her youngest sister, and her father were moved into a multi-million dollar penthouse just across from central park. both she and her father felt the breath of a new life as a smaller family, luna becoming the mother-figure her deaf sister needed as she was only 6 at the time.

so now luna exudes vodka aunt energy while maintaining zero faith in the ideation of love believing it all always comes crashing down in the end.

☮ PERSONALITY. ☮

she’s v cold & distant, but super passionate about art and romanticizes everything except love itself.

she’s impulsive in the sense of being spontaneous. she doesn’t really think about things she does. she just… does them. also is not afraid to roast the shit out of you. will give you the smoke, no remorse.

will only be Soft™ when no one else is looking & she likes u

just like... a tru earth sign u know

literally cannot be in a relationship longer than 3 months. not a single one of them has met her dad or sister.

speaking of her dad, she’s the biggest daddy’s girl (i cringed but its tru)

OH idk if this is personality or background, but she’s v much in the social class of the 1% (bein a literal heiress ig) but she kinda just… doesn’t acknowledge it. like she realizes she’s very privileged, but her brain is like “i am normal 😌” while just dropping $5k on stupid shit. zero concept on “too expensive”.

very protective of her family and will throw down any time for them.

despite being non-sporty herself (except kick boxing), she loves baseball & hockey. don’t get too excited tho, she’s still loyal to her dodgers.

uhhhhhhhhhhh i can’t think of anything else 👉👈

[makotokyoqoku-archived]

48 character development questions: jenny q.

1. How old are they? in the comics, 12-14; logically, she'd be 20 rn but we all know that comics dont work that way, so shes stuck being 12-14.

2. What gender are they? cis in the comics but in all of my headcanons, xe's nonbinary (genderfluid; she/her & xe/xyr/xyrself).

3. What is their romantic/sexual orientation? lesbian/bi, still not quite sure but she knows she loves girls.

4. How tall are they? 5'2" bc I'm Me and no fav character is gonna be taller than me.

5. What do they look like? dark curly hair, piercing brown eyes; a cut through the left eyebrow; have many ear piercings, snake bites piercings, and a septum ring. theres four beauty marks, randomly spaced, behind her right ear, and she have a birthmark on the inside of her wrist. I've way too many faceclaims/fancasts for jenny, namely charlene chua (model), mable chee, leah lewis, jessica sula, haley or brianne tju (since they're both sisters and I can see them both as jenny).

6. What are their defining features? the cut in the brow, the piercings, and how xyr eyes literally glow in the dark like a cat's eyes due to xyr powers.

7. Does their name have a meaning? well, jenny is a diminutive form of jane which is taken from jehanne, and—as jennifer—the cornish form of guinevere; in the first case, it means "yahweh is gracious/merciful", and in the second it means "fair one" & "white wave" (it's a popular name too, anyway.)

8. What family do they have? apollo & midnighter are her dads, shen li min/swift & angie spica/the engineer are her aunts—basically all of the authority. xe's also the reincarnated spirit of jenny sparks so ig that makes j. sparks her sister or mother???? it's not really clear in the comics at all but in my hcs, they're siblings.

9. Do they have a good relationship with their family? eyup!!! a rocky relationship w angie & jack, but w everyone else yeah jenny does have a good one w them.

10. If not, why not? well with angie its bc of how kinda neglectful she was of jenny when xe was 5 years old. but they kinda sorta patched things up—they didnt talk about it and angie never apologized bc she doesnt see she did anything wrong so its... rocky. with jack.. he did make himself the president of america & made all the other governments in the world give up their respective seats of power and thus practically made himself the sole emperor of the whole world... so yeah, yeah jenny hates him for that.

11. Where do they live? opal city w her dads!! and also on the carrier, the sentient ship that travels through dimensions.

12. Is it a safe place? eyup!!! or... as safe as the carrier can be, anyway.

13. Are they poor, middle-class or wealthy? uhhhh I guess middle class?? idk

14. Do they look up to anyone? her dads, aunt shen,, dinah lance/black canary, the superfamily but especially superman... that's it.

15. Who is their best friend? she never had any in the comics—she was pretty isolated, in the comics. in all of my hcs, though, shes friends w a lot of dc's child & teen characters.

16. Do they have any enemies? aside from the usual enemies trying to destroy the world? no, xe dont.

17. Who is the person they hate most in the world? anyone who tries to ruin people's lives is someone jenny hates... so that's a whole lot of people to list.

18. Do they have any love/hate relationships? nope!!! I mean, jenny does have a love-hate relationship w online multiplayer games, and bad movies. (the latter is more of a guilty pleasure.)

19. Have they ever fallen in love? nope... not in the comics anyway. and honestly I've never thought about this so I dont have any hc for it.

20. Who is the person they love the most in the world? xyr dads!!!

21. Does that person love them back? eyup!!!! to the point where they spoil her rotten, actually.

22. Have they ever hurt or lost anyone? well... she did kill a few villains in self defense as a child so if that counts as hurting someone then yeah, she did.... and also lost apollo when he died in orlando's midnighter & apollo comic but then he came back so there is that.

23. Are they a good shoulder to cry on? ...honestly? kind of. shes the kind of person who, if you went to her w your problems, she'll just tell you how to solve them—them she's still supportive of her friends & family, dont get me wrong, but shes first and foremost a problem solver, and shes through a whole lot of bullshit bc shes perceptive as fuck too, so she'll take your problems and tell you how to deal w them but only after you calmed down from crying your eyes out to her.

24. Are they well liked? we... never got to see that in the comics so it's up to me, again: yes, xe is.

25. How do they handle being complimented? takes it all in strides—the ego boost is nice, too, but xe doesnt let it get into xyr head. xe's humble and modest about it, basically.

26. Are they an affectionate person? with her words, yes, and sometimes even with her actions, but its only with people she knows & trusts.

27. Are they very driven? very much so.

28. What kind of state is the world that they live in? ... I mean, its complicated bc comics are like That so I've no idea. but also like, its 2020.

29. What are the world leaders like? I mean its 2020 even in the comics, so theres that.

30. Does the character worry about their place in society? no, she doesnt.

31. If they could change one thing, what would it be? bold of you to assume it would be just one thing—the thing is that xe could quite literally change reality to how xe wants it to be and no one can do anything to try and stop xyr from doing so... except xe'd hate xyrself for doing that and xyr conscious & morality is the only one thing that's really stopping xyr.

32. Do they like themselves? yes.

33. Are they a good person? yes. chaotic, but good.

34. Are they very forgiving? no lmao, xe holds grudges.

35. Do they believe in destiny? kind of yeah.

36. Are they trustworthy? absolutely.

37. Are they a good liar? no fkskxnsm she cannot lie to save herself, especially from her parents.

38. How do they react to criticism? takes them with strides, although sometimes she doesn't take it well.

39. What is their moral alignment? chaotic good.

40. Can they fight? yes. her parents sure that she took self-defense classes... from them.

41. Would they ever purposefully hurt someone? no, absolutely not. xe'll only hurt someone in self-defense or, in the case of a villain, to stop them.

42. Have they ever been seriously injured? the cut that runs through xyr eyebrow is a scar that xe got when xe slipped & fell on a rock when xe was 4 years old.

43. Do they know first aid? no.

44. Do they have any other survival skills? a lot of survival skills are literally installed into her dna dye to millenials of existence.

45. Are they a fast learner? yes but it also depends on what she's learning—the self defense lessons took a while, so did the skateboard lessons, and cooking; little things like that.

46. How intelligent are they? as intelligent as a 14 years old is.

47. What is their job? the universe's self-defense mechanism... and a middle school student.

48. Do they enjoy their job? try being a 14 years old & having the responsibility of being the self-defense mechanism of AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE on your shoulders... no she doesn't enjoy it but knows that she needs to do this.

[cuddlemonsterdean]

A little Supernatural question, fill-out, thing! Pop the questions into a text post and answer for yourself if you want!

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

October 2012, when season 8 was airing, and right around the time everything in my life was taking a serious nose-dive that was about to get much worse. honestly if i hadn’t found it then, i don’t know if i’d still be here at all.

i didn’t even have an account yet so i was browsing someone’s blog that had stuff from all kinds of fandoms on it. around that time i had been lurking in the batman fandom for a bit but it wasn’t really doing it for me so i was looking for something new to obess over. i kept seeing gifsets and stuff from spn, so i thought i’d give it a go. the first ep i watched was Lazarus Rising, and within not even 10 minutes i knew that this was it

2. Who is your favorite in TFW? 

I just love dean so much - he means everything to me. he’s taught me so much, he makes me happy, he inspires me. he makes me be brave when i don’t wanna be

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW? 

that’s a weird question??? i might not blog about them as much but i don’t dislike sam or cas. honestly it makes me sad when people (as in, fans) try to pitch tfw against each other

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs! 

i don’t follow a whole lot of people because i’m cautious of wank and stan wars and such but i love having @postmodernmulticoloredcloak @wigglebox @jensensitive @dotthings @occamshipper @mittensmorgul @deathswaywardson and @softcuddlydean on my dash :) (...that’s eight already. and i probably forgot someone. i’m not good with numbers okay!! o(>.<)o)

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

it’s so hard to pick one but - Donna!!! i love her so much, she’s so upbeat and fun too watch but she has depth too and layers and i’ve really enjoyed how they’ve developed her as a character. i kind of look up to her :)

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural? 

basically the same as above but - honestly all of the women are awesome

7. John or Mary? 

i don’t like this vs trend but Mary. maybe she’s difficult to love, but i personally really appreciate the decisions they made regarding her character and her character development, that she wasn’t this perfect mother dean remembered. i’ve never, ever, been able to relate to a mother child dynamic on tv before mary and dean. oftentimes mothers are portrayed as either perfect or evil, and to see this struggle, this gray area - it meant a lot to me, it was really powerful. i in general appreciate the message that it’s possible to both love and hate your parents at the same time, and that it’s something that’s just allowed to be that way

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack? 

i honestly don’t really remember. it’s also difficult because i already had half a foot in fandom and was also watching season 8 while it aired while also playing catch up on season 1-7 at the same time. with jack, i remember that i really appreciated alexander calvert’s acting choices, because he did this blend of innocent and ominous/threatening so well

9. What’s your favorite season? 

if you’d asked me this during season 13, i’d have said season 13, but now it’s definitely season 14 (for now, since 15 just started airing). the michael storyline was like my favorite ever (and inspired my to write what i think is, so far, my best deancas longfic), but also overall the season was so neat and fascinating thematically

10. What’s your least favorite season? 

i don’t really have one, though i’d say while rewatching the entire show over the summer i found season 6 the hardest to get through. not even because of everything that goes down with cas but like - the one and only good thing that happens to team free will there was getting sam’s soul back, and even that had painful repercussions. there is some really interesting stuff in there, but overall it was hard to watch

11. Opinions on Destiel? 

it’s canon. like - if someone tries to tell me it’s not i have to assume they’re being willfully ignorant on the subject (of course it’s perfectly fine not to ship it and stuff but arguing its very existence is kind of ridiculous at this point)

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits? 

no. honestly i kind of feel like that word gets thrown around so quickly and so frequently people have forgotten what queerbaiting actually is and what it is not, and that’s done some serious damage

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

again with the vs thing but - 8-14. dean and sam finally have a bigger family and an actual home, that alone always makes me gravitate more to the later seasons

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)? 

Michael (big surprise XD). i enjoyed him so much, especially since he foreshadows what dean’s going through in regards to chuck/god rn

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line? 

don’t know when this questionaire was made - i think it’s over, and they did well with it

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)? 

honestly, i think with trauma, we shouldn’t compare it like that. they’ve all been traumatized repeatedly - sometimes in similiar ways, but even then everyone reacts differently. it’s not fair to do comparisons, and it doesn’t help either

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode? 

i used to say i’m married to The Executioner’s Song, then Tombstone aired and i had the time of my life, and then Nihilism aired - and that ep was like everything i’ve ever wanted. i bet @postmodernmulticoloredcloak can still remember me spamming them via text while watching - which took me like two hours because i kept screaming about everything basically XD

18. Do you like case episodes? 

i love them

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW? 

dean. for all the reasons i already stated in 2., but also i’m the oldest daughter and had to protect my younger siblings as a kid (domestic violence situation, among other things). my younger “sister” and i weren’t blood related but i would have died for her, she meant everything to me. plus, dean’s really emotional but has a lot of protective walls that he needs to survive, and i can relate to that as well

20. Why do you like Supernatural? 

too many reasons to list them all. there’s dean, there’s the whole found family trope. the complexity of the characters and their dynamics, the deeply psychological themes than run through the entire narrative. i think you can really tell that the people - actors, writers, directors, crew - really love making the show, and put a lot of effort into it. it’s not a “perfect” show (which doesn’t exist anyway) but it’s made with love. plus we got this amazing cast that cares so much and gives so much, and it really makes you feel less alone, makes you feel seen and heard even if you never meet any of them face to face. it’s genuine, and it’s rare, and i cherish it, just like the show

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be? 

hm, i genuinely can’t think of anyone i’d kill off rn. who i’d bring back - benny was awesome and i miss him. also eileen, but apparently we will see her again in some way, so there’s that :)

@wigglebox i did this because you said you’re tagging everyone who wants to do this, so now i’m stealing your move and saying the same! ;D

[alkhale]

In memoirs, can a pokian truly die due to old age and not get back to life, even if he/she still has remaining lives? How do they "resurrect", btw? Is there a specific time for it to occur after they die, cus what if they have a devil fruit and died due to drowning in the ocean, then get instantly resurrected only to die from drowning again?

Yes! The hint lies within the old market keeper’s words from chapter one to Hoku about the whole thing. Pokians can eventually die of just old age–but it has to have certain circumstances met. Say, if they were to contract a disease at 80 and still had a life, they’d die and come back. 

Typically, there’s a very short amount of time before they resurrect. In essence, depending on the death, a thin white light shrouds them and they’re just back. And yes! Exactly what Manu warned Hoku about and why the sent the Pokians to execution by water and fire–if you die, coming back to life is pointless if you’re in a state of danger–say, you drowned, but no one pulled your body out of the water–you’d just literally come back to life and drown over and over again. It is very painful and sad and insanity inducing. 

Mhm, Tsuru was originally who Hoku was supposed to go to and by extended meanings, the marines!

Hoku’s about 5′7″ and some! A little taller than Luffy but the bastard just stretches. She and Nami are about the same height but Nami likes her heels sometimes and Hoku’s boots give her a smidge.

The people of Artopoki speak the language of the OP world ( a mix of english and japanese) but like the other countries in OP, have hints of an older culture and speak Pokian as well, making it a separate language (that’s basically a mix of hawaiian and some vietnamese words) so yes! she is bilingual

She can’t! Sadly. She can, however, boost the powers of ones devil fruit so for instance, say Luffy’s rubber could be in danger of being cut by an exceptionally powerful opponent, she could power up his skills and his rubber would be a lot more stronger/elastic. Her life force is transferred to people and things as her vitality, but she can’t substitute her own life force to that which is already living, which is why the inanimate objects can become animate because they have a housing for slices of her own soul to go into. (the animals have bits of her soul, so when they die a bit of her dies and if she were to loose too many she’d lose an entire life in total and have to revive/it’s also why they technically are like her ;))

I’m thinking about saying something else but i can’t, i’ll just say this is in regards to Hoku’s devil fruit, the viva-viva fruit.

Pokian legends, sure are interesting…

yes! under the fanart tag and Hoku, there’s some amazing fanart for her! i hope those will help, ill try drawing her one of these days

yes he does :) but he doesn’t like looking at it a lot because

yknow

:(

ah! i thought about bringing this up but thanks for asking, technically they can’t! I know OP hasn’t gone into depth about the nature of devil fruits, just that once the user dies and leaves this world, the fruit will be reborn again–reincarnated. I’m going with the decision that for the devil fruit to be reincarnated, the soul of the person needs to fully pass on as well. When Pokians die, the soul is still tethered so they can come back with one of the lives, though Manu mentioned that sometimes this can grow strained the lower the count goes, i wonder what that means 

HAHAHAH I CANT WAIT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN IN 374839BYEARS

she’d bitch to him about how useful his is because he doesn’t have to be a battery pack to anyone, but then quietly survey his drawing skills and i think he’d be very self conscious and rawr at her when he sees hers

but Hoku would definitely try to convince him to let her help him teach him a little, “they have sibling fruits pls Kanjuro let me help u”

HAHAHA SNOW WHITE BUT THE ANIMALS HATE HER GUTS

she’s not good at full out belting beautiful music, but Hoku’s a really great hummer and after awhile she can go into a fairly nice song, she doesn’t sing very often tho and mumble-hum a lullaby or two

i wonderrrrr ;)

not very very well, she’s not bad at designing them but actually cutting out fabrics and using her skills to put them together is a hot mess, she’s more of the i’ll produce the materials u make the magic happen

;)))

hehe yes yes! i wanna try to keep her bounty in ten million increments to keep the thing going

ofc this dumbass would be positive 

hahaha, Hoku’s technically S- in the OP world which is the equivalent to O-, she’s a universal donor! donating blood from Pokians is actually safe because it’s being transferred, so it won’t stain ur insides if that makes sense? it needs to actually be outside to have staining properties.

-sobs incoherently-

i know right now it seems like its getting favoritism, but it’s just because the one piece storyline is so vast and there’s a lot i want to keep hammering out until i can settle into a slower pace with it, so it’s going to be seeing a bit more attention until i’m satisfied while i update others w it

i’d say maybe every two weeks? i’m trying to update ohbab and nascent and another memos rn but ohbab and nascent first

SORRY FOR THIS LONG ASS ASK, I HOPE THATS A LOT OF QUESTIONS ANSWERED YALL KEEP ME ON MY TOES, THANK YOU FOR CARING ENOUGH ABOUT THE STORY TO WANT TO ASK EDHFIOERNFIE

[kaceyrps]

Since I think I might finally have some more time, I’d love to start some new plots under the cut are a few I really want rn, but I’m always open to plotting something else out. If you like anything, just hum or hit the heart!

Plots

can someone pls give me a ‘you left 3 yrs ago in the middle of the night with not even a goodbye letter and now you’re on my door step w a kid that looks exactly like me’ plot pls

I really want to do a 1x1 where Muse A and Muse B, met at a bar one night and ended up having a deep conversation that culminated in a make-out session. Muse A promised to call Muse B, but never did and Muse B didn’t have Muse A’s phone number. A couple of months passed with Muse B thinking about their night with Muse A - not being able to find that connection with someone else. Then Muse B finally meets Muse A again, only to find Muse A is dating their best friend. Despite both parties trying to push aside their feelings after meeting again, things get complicated. (They could either decide to keep things friendly or it would lead to a relationship, depending on how the rp goes).

we absolutely hate each other but we’re the romantic leads so i guess we have to make this work

i’m the stage manager and you’re the self-absorbed diva, so naturally we despise each other

i’m the understudy for your character’s love interest and since he’s not here today you asked me to help you run the kissing scene and i’m really attracted to you

A plot based on cutting edge

consider this: classic “one of the boys” girl who hangs out with the frat bros accidentally falling in love with an elle woods-esque sorority girl that she meets at a party??? muse a comes from a family w like a million older brothers so ofc she makes a beeline for the frats when she gets to college bc she feels most comfortable around boys. the only thing is, she dreads their mixers with the sorority girls bc she hates the “prissy glitter bitches” and wants to vomit whenever she sees lilly pulitzer lmao. so when muse b comes up to her at one of these mixers and introduces herself, muse a is like lol ok w/e. but to her surprise, muse b is actually like…. interesting and smart and yes definitely ridiculous but she’s still shocked that she actually has a personality. and when muse b keeps seeking her out at the mixers, muse a suddenly finds herself more and more flustered as she realizes that she has a GIANT ASS CRUSH on this girl. honestly pls just give me cute college girls in love with frat bros cheering for them in a non-gross manner

give me a couple that met through youtube ( maybe one of them mentioned the other on their channel, through mutual friends, at an event/meet-up ? how they actually connected is up to you ! oh – and they could have polar opposite channels or similar channels ! ) who started off as friends doing trendy collab videos, but everyone fell in love with their dynamic and pointed out how natural their chemistry was or how one looked at the other and vice versa ––- the little things ! what the viewers didn’t know was that muse a was crushing hard on muse b and muse b was crushing equally hard on muse a, but obviously neither one of them were going to risk ruining their great friendship. soon enough, the two spilled their woes and became an item, however they kept it a secret for a few months. finally, after much debate they decided to go public and their subscribers went wild some saying ‘they knew all along’ or ‘they’re so happy’ while others said it ’wouldn’t last’ or ‘they’re doing it for the views’. fast forward to a few years later: now they’re living together in ( california, england, anywhere ! ), documenting their daily shenanigans for their shared vlogging channel, attending events, and keeping their separate channels fresh and exciting with occasional or frequent collabs ! 

13 going on 30 plot where they were really close when they were younger, and then they both went there separate ways. and then they meet up later on, and they just start spending a lot of time together and start becoming best friends and then they slowly start to fall in love with each other (✿◠‿◠) liKE PLEASE I NEED THIS!!

wild child: muse a is sent to a horrific private boarding school. no phone, no laptop. it’s like being back in the 17th century. muse a is a wild child, always has been, and they refused to be disciplined. they need a way out of this school and fast- and no better solution comes then muse b.. the principals child that comes to visit on weekends and is loved by all, and extremely good looking. the plan is easy, get muse b’s attention, make them fall for muse a and get caught by the principal and get out of this school. but then those pesky real feelings start to get in the way, and what started as a way to leave, has started to turn into a reason to stay.

the duff: muse a has never been conventionally attractive, and that has never bothered them before. until one day at a party when muse b asks muse a where their friends are. when muse a states it’s not their job to disclose information on their friends, muse b calls them something they’ll never forget. duff. designated. ugly. fat. friend. a mean word, sure, but then slowly… muse a starts to see it. their friends are incredible, good looking, everybody knows them. and muse a is a no one. forced to be paired together in a school assignment together, muse a can’t stand muse b and their cocky, arrogant attitude. muse b continues to call muse a ‘duffy’, thinking it’s funny and gets on their nerves. in a moment of blind anger- muse a finds themselves slamming muse b into a wall. and then proceeding to angrily make out with them. kissing turns into removal of clothes, and before they know it muse a and muse b have slept together. muse a swears it will never happen again, and muse b loves taunting muse a. but they just tick each other off in the wrong way, and end up having angry, hot, rushed sex more and more. it’s just physical anger relief for muse a, but muse b starts to genuinely fall for muse a. when they reveal it though- muse a blows up and demands to know why anybody would want to be with the duff, let alone muse b. suddenly, muse b realises the nickname was more then just a joke and a way to get under muse a’s skin and that they’ve really truly hurt the one person they love.

muse a and muse b had lived in the same town their entire lives. on the first day of kindergarten, they sat across from each other on the bus and muse b offered muse a one of his animal crackers. from then on, they were attached at the hip. they remained inseparable through elementary school, and by the time middle school came around, muse a found puberty working in her favor. muse a was outgoing, funny, and beautiful, and everyone wanted to be her friend. muse b, on the other hand, was awkward and shy, and the only attention he got was negative. despite their differences, muse a and muse b remained close friends, and muse a often found herself having to defend muse b against the bullying. in the middle of 8th grade, muse b disappeared from school and moved halfway across the country with his family. muse a tried to stay in touch, but it seemed like every time she reached out to him, she was brushed off. eventually the two lost connection and moved on.fast forward to high school. muse a finds herself caught up in the wrong crowd, and after a string of pregnancy rumors, she loses most of her close friends and becomes virtually invisible. muse a pours herself into her love of poetry and writing to try and entertain her loneliness. that is, until she walks into school to find an extremely attractive boy leaned up against her locker. muse b is back, and despite all of his new found attention from girls, he only has eyes for muse a.

i need a plot where muse a and muse b recently broke up and then muse a gets in some kind of accident and suffers temporary amnesia and forGETS they were ever broken up and its SO awkward for muse b but hes still in love with muse a and too afraid to tell the truth so he’s just waiting for muse a to remember and !!! fake relationships ! secrets ! pining ! fluff ! angst ! everything goodb y e

someone give me a “i’m the legacy of the prim and proper stereotypical sorority on campus and i’m expected to rush, live, and breathe it throughout my time here and it’s the night before rush and i got invited to this party at the rival, party girl sorority and that girl over there is really pretty and keeps smiling at me and now her mouth is on mine and i’m a little more than drunk and in bed with her and i wake up the next morning and she’s gone, i don’t even know her name. and now it’s rush night and - holy shit…there she is, and she’s the president of the rival, party girl sorority.” plot,,1!!!!!!!

Muse A just had their heart broken and decided to shy away from relationships, so their friends dragged them out for a night to get them out of the house. Enter muse B. Someone who spends the night flirting with muse A, but gets nowhere. Muse B gives muse A their number, saying if they change their mind to call. Muse A, after some prompting from friends, calls muse B and they go out on a date – one they both enjoy. But just as muse A comes around to the idea of a new relationship, muse B finds out that muse A’s ex, is muse B’s sibling. Muse A and muse B had the perfect marriage. They were happy, just bought their first house and had a baby. Until muse B tragically died – or at least that’s what muse A thought. Muse B had witnessed a crime, and had to be put in witness protection. Not wanting to risk the life of muse A and their child, muse B let them believe that they were dead. When the trial is finally over with, and the threat is locked away, muse B is left to go back to their old life but has no idea how to tell muse A about what happened.

Muse A is seen as the town’s rebel and isn’t exactly well known for following the rules. Muse B is the new principle’s child, and wanting to get back at their parent for moving them without asking, muse B decides they want to date muse A. It’s just unfortunate timing, since muse A decided to try and clean up their act - something muse B is determined not to let happen.

Things I want plots based on

The candy jar

Disney’s zombies

Lizzie McGuire

Descendants 

Hocus Pocus

Chrismas Inheritance 

Prince & Me

Charmed 

Gilmore Girls

Harry Potter

Secret Circle 

Parent Trap

10 things I hate about you

Drive me crazy

Ships I’d like

Peter Parker/MJ

Fitzsimmons 

Mumu ideas

summer camp counselors: between the ages of 18 ad 21, volunteers from colleges around the country (BONUS: around the entire world) flock here to guide children through the summer of their lives, coincidentally also making this the best summer of their own lives.

co-ed college dorms:  Simply a group of students living in one building, trying to get along and figure themselves out in the process.

tour: There’s a band on the rise to fame and they’ve brought along two opening acts and entire crew that helps make the entire process that much smoother. Heads will clash, too many personalities together for too many months on end.

sleepy beach town: Every summer there are quite a few families that spend their summers unwinding in a town far from home. There are families that have become quite close due to the three months spent out of every month in this small town. There are also those families that are spending their first year here. This could test friendships and even relationships that have already developed.

kids of famous people: over the years, it’s been no secret that the celebrities we’ve known to love and care for from afar have grown to have families of their own. Now, it’s their children’s turn to make something of their lives. Do they follow in their parents footsteps or do they do something entirely different? Are they snotty self absorbed or do they give back every chance they get? There are millions of possibilities.

apartment complex: A bunch of diverse people all living in one building together. There’s this small family type bond between them but they still aren’t afraid to start crap when it’s necessary. At the end of the day, they will always have each others back when it’s needed

gossip girl: it’s been 25 years since Dam Humphry came out as Gossip Girl. There have been plenty of fakes trying to capture the things he’d been able to for all those years but no one could ever live up to the greatness that was the true Gossip Girl. Until now. There’s a new gossip site online that’s got their eye on everything happening around the New York elite. Rumors spread that Dan’s back in the game after all these years but there’s someone greater wreaking havoc on these young adults lives. (Could be the kids of the former group and their friends or an entirely different crew of elite)

[eyelas]

muse 54, jeon somi, 17, she/her. ☼ * ⋆ : hey, check it out, it’s IYLA JANG! everyone calls ‘em IYLA, though. aren’t they a HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR now? man, time flies. isn’t their birthday coming up soon? it’s MARCH 7TH, 2002, right? i gotta get them a present – i heard they like SIMULATION VIDEO GAMES, HOLOGRAPHIC NAIL POLISH, AND TACO BELL FREEZES. and, like, don’t tell anyone, but i think they ARE BEGINNING TO HAVE SEIZURES AGAIN AFTER A DECADE OF DORMANCY. ( c, 18, pst. )

guess who’s back .... back again ... it’s me, c, with my 2nd muse (-”: this is my baby iyla, the youngest in the jang family! she is ,,, a massive Dork with a capital D. pls click that read more for some more info about her! 

iyla was born march 7th, 2002, making her a pisces! and she rly is a pisces tbh she will cry on sight

was a really sensitive kid?? she was the kid who would have to stand outside the school with her parents bawling for a solid 12 minutes because she didn’t want them to leave her sksksks

has always been a hypochondriac; things that stress her out are like, completely normal to other people ??? especially when it comes to school & her career and stuff

she has no clue what she wants to do with her life ! she loves art & has been in theater pretty much her whole life, but she doesn’t think she’s good enough to actually become an actor ! is also super interested in psychology, so maybe she’ll do that ! she has no idea and it’s really starting to freak her out tbh !! 

is goldstone high’s number 1 fan. is at all the sports games, running for student body president, etc etc. its mostly because it looks good on college applications, but her parent being the principal is also part of the reason why as well sksksk 

super determined ! total workaholic ! like, stubbornly so ! she’s the kind of person to completely overflow her plate and then wonder why the hell she’s so busy all the time, and purposely only get .2 hours of sleep at night and then complain about being tired

Massive Dork Hours with this one i s2g,,,, is cripplingly awkward when it comes to mass socialization and prefers to just stick to her lil circle of friends

what ????? is love ???? she’s never had any sort of significant other before simply because she’s convinced that nobody would ever .... want to date her sksksksks

imposter syndrome ! perfectionist complex ! crippling self-doubt !

she was diagnosed with epilepsy as a baby and had frequent seizures pretty much all the way up until third grade as doctors tried to nail the right balance of medication for her; they finally did when she was about eight, and her seizures subsided for pretty much the rest of her life up until now

now that she’s starting to have to make a lot of really stressful decisions as she finishes high school, the stress is starting to take a toll and recently triggered another seizure. it wasn’t a huge one; in fact, it was just a few moments of her feeling out of it, but she had them so much as a kid that she recognized immediately what was happening. but, she’s determined to keep it under wraps and try to stop them from continuing simply bc she thinks she & her family are too busy for her health to be a priority rn !

is also ??? v v annoyed by what’s going on at home rn ??? all she’s ever known is her parent & her two siblings so it’s suddenly Very Strange for the house to be so big and full of people all the time,,, will 100% be passive aggressive towards her step siblings 

basically she’s just .... the softest ... big geek hours .... video games galore .... Baby, but will fight u if necessary 

wanted connections:

friends !!!!! she’s v soft and just ??? wants to be liked by everybody

a ?? crush ???? someone who she thinks is Real Cute ??? bonus points for the “muse a thinks muse b is cute but muse b is oblivious” trope sksksksks

she crazy smart, so maybe someone she’s tutoring ??

a Parental Figure other than her parents !!! she’s v irritated by the state of her household rn so perhaps somebody she can confide in for advice ???

a Soft Squad (TM) because i’m a heaux for that trope

childhood friends !!! somebody who can make fun of her for crying when her parents dropped her off at school every day !

[dcathwithoutglory-blog]

it’s jay. again. my browser just crashed. so i’m just gonna copy and paste my old intro. there’s no time to try and make it better. rip !

⌊ priyanka chopra, cis woman, antigone ⌉ ⏀ have you spoken to ALEXANDRA “ALEXA” MEHRA recently? the THIRTY-FOUR year old who’s been in seneca for SEVEN YEARS or so? either way, they always seem to remind me of FLOWERS PLACED ON A GRAVE, A RUSTY COMPASS, STORMS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT whenever i see them on main street. on a good day they’re pretty MORALISTIC, but they can also be RESISTANT. ⌊ jay, 19. est, she/her ⌉

the story of antigone that y’all probs already know but jic.

triggers: brief implication of incest but like wbk, brief mention of suicide, death, creon bein a bitch

brief overview of antigone (character + eponymous story):

antigone was born to oedipus and jocasta.

we all know what happened there. after that, oedipus was like “see no evil feel no evil” and jocasta yeet’d out of living.

her brothers went to war against each other. when creon ascended to the throne, he allowed burial for eteocles with honors, but was like “lmao if u bury polyneices i will kill u”

but antigone was like ‘lmao SURE JAN’ and tried to convince ismene, her sister, to help her bury polyneices. ismene was like ‘ok that’s a rly bad idea like good luck but count me out tbh.’

antigone is rly bad at digging graves tho so polyneices’s body was found and creon was like ‘oh my GOD’ and she’s like ‘fuck the government viva la morality!’

then creon was like ‘ok anyway rmr when i said u wld die if u buried polyneices so ig now u have to be buried alive in a tomb’ then antigone was like ‘actually i’ll be hanging myself before u can do fuck the government’

then he was like ‘at least u’ll be dead! oh wait -

Y’ALL GO SAVE EVERYONE’ but then it was too late

antigone and his son had both killed themselves and everyone, including himself, were just like

“get WREKT creon!!!!!”

alexa ( play despacito ).

triggers: suicide (x2), death (x3), mental illness implications, war, brief mentions of torture and murder

ok now onto alexandra ! so, like i did for valda, i looked up names that shared the same meaning as ‘antigone’ (which essentially means “against”) and one of the suggestions was alexa but i also wanted it to sound. super valiant. but at the same time. i wanted it to be something that could have a conversational nickname. so im already hc’ing that she has ‘despacito’ saved on her phone. also alexandra is my middle name so like?? stan list?? OK ANYWAY.

alright, so alexandra was born to a very upper-class family. her father was a politician and her mother was a successful lawyer. they provided well for the perfect nuclear family –– two sons, two daughters, a golden retriever, two cats in the yard life used to be so hard now everything is easy cause of-

like... her early life, say birth to age 14, was... nice. actually normal and nice. have i ever done that before? has my own edgelord ass ever done that before? i don’t think so.

which is why things obviously took a turn for the worse

but yeah. when she was 14, she was like “hey mom idk how to do pre-algebra” (a mood) but there was no response from her mom. so shrug city, you know? she just went to her older sister instead. but like... so much time passed.... and nothing....

finally, this nosy bitch decided to be like “ok i’m gonna go see what tf she’s doing” and that was just... a terrible idea. instead of finding her mom doing her nails or talking on the phone or any number of reasons she may not have come out yet, she found her mother hanging from the ceiling fan.

she tried to get her brothers’ and sister’s help, and they tried so desperately to help (you know, while also calling 911 and their father), but it was to absolutely no avail.

after this hella traumatizing experience, the children grew closer as the father grew farther.

he began getting lost in his own mind, sometimes accidentally mixing the past with the present, a la willy loman style. he would hold slight conversations with their ‘mother’ while at the table, then began holding them with various others from the past. it was pretty clear that his mind had just been looking for an excuse to snap, and the death of his wife had been the perfect scapegoat.

although it had originally just affected him in his home life, he began holding said conversations in the presence of people outside his family.

this is not good for a politician.

i mean it’s not good for anyone but...

his support immediately began dropping. his team gradually left him, finding there was no way he would ever be able to gain another victory if he kept on living in a limbo between the past and the present. given that he’d started ‘talking to his brother’ during one of his speeches... 

rest in peace to his career.

alexa (play despacito) was 18 at the time, her sister - 20, one of her brothers - 21, the other - 24.

they were all legal adults! some of them had even moved out! so their father figured his next move would not affect him in the way their mother’s death had!

so he shot himself.

the only people who showed up at his funeral were alexa and her sister. her eldest brother proclaimed that flying across the country would be too much of a hassle for that, and the other brother simply did not respond.

her eldest brother did, however, enlist in the army after setting legalities in place that would allow him to send money back to his siblings. he had joined simply because it was an easy opportunity (what with all of the propaganda), but his decision prompted the other brother to do the same –– this time because he was talented at ‘the art of fighting.’

and bc more money but like... get wrekt.

alexa’s sister dropped out of college to work a full-time job –– one that paid fairly handsomely. alexa took some odd jobs.

aka, everyone was trying to make money.

creon was right when he said “money! nothing worse”

so things kind of dipped when the eldest brother was killed. after an accusation that he’d become a traitor, their other brother had taken it upon himself to ‘anonymously’ torture and shoot him. but the other side did it!

which everyone knew was a lie.

because of the accusations, he was not only not allowed a military funeral, he was also not meant to be buried in any honorable fashion. instead, his body was returned to his hometown to be buried there following a quiet and uneventful funeral.

his grave was left unmarked.

nonetheless, the grave was visited every day, new flowers laid atop.

meanwhile, their other brother was considered a newfound military icon. he’d gotten rid of a ‘traitor’ (they continued to pretend it was someone from the other side, of course), he’d killed many an enemy, he’d done this and that and this and that and it all made him look so morally grey to alexa and her sister (who, granted, had yet to find out he’d killed their other brother), but like such a white knight to his fellow soldiers.

he truly rose in the ranks. it was what he was meant to do.

but the more he killed, the more he tortured, the lack of grief towards his brother’s death...

alexa’s sister wasn’t buying her hypothesis. it wasn’t necessarily because she saw their other brother was some pure being, but because she simply didn’t believe he was capable of that.

the next time alexa saw her brother, she got confirmation enough. what to do with the information, she wasn’t sure, but she knew she had to do something...

murder wasn’t the solution... she didn’t have any military connections that would allow for her to spout some lie about why he needed to be dishonorably discharged... but what he did couldn’t skate by...

to this day, she is still wondering what she can do to fuck him over. his success in the military keeps growing grander and grander, thus rendering any fake dishonorable discharge excuses completely moot. her sister still doesn’t believe that there really is a solution –– that, while it is greatly harmful, there’s absolutely nothing they can do and ruminating on it is worthless –– trying to find some quest to defeat their own brother is absurd.

although she has since moved to seneca, attracted to its small town appeal, she continues to visit her eldest brother’s grave every week –– it’s about a two hour drive, so it’s worth it.

she’s taken up work as a cemetery caretaker

because of COURSE she would.

and, although its pay is.... lousy, she’s been making due. for the tombstones no one visits any longer, first she’ll look them up to make sure they weren’t slave-owners or anything, she’ll bring them their own flowers. the dead deserve just as much respect as the living, hm?

personality.

i just realized i didn’t do this for valda (aka, i’m about to update her intro with it), but a total enneagram type 2.

too empathetic for her own good, too ‘this person whom i do not even know deserves flowers’ for her own good, too ‘i’ve got to protect _______ by doing _________’ for her own good

a capricorn

so driven by her own moral compass, she does not CARE about anything that says she has to go against it

her moral compass can be super faulty sometimes tho

pretty quick to make assumptions tbh, but has so far been right abt most of them.

so also driven by gut feelings ig

dramatic tbh. i mean she’s the adapted version of a character whose first lines contained “there's nothing, no pain—our lives are pain” SO.

also p independent (as in i said valda was independent), but her vendetta isn’t against men in general, rather just her brother who is still alive

so like,,, that said,,, holds grudges.

im bad at personality sections!! as has been stated before!! but i think the gist has been gotten across!!

wanted connections.

so rn i only have one specific one which is her sister and can be found on the wc page

will come up w/ unique ones later but until then open 2 hearing urs/brainstorming!

tl;dr.

(refer to triggers listed before the bullets.) a lot of death? like mom kills herself then dad turns into willy loman then dad kills himself. brothers both join the army. one brother kills the other brother for being accused of being a ‘traitor.’ said brother doesn’t get a proper funeral and his headstone is unmarked. the other brother rises in the rankings and alexa knows what happened. convinced her sister of it, but her sister is more logical and let her know that she was very angry too, but making her entire life about it would do nothing but endanger herself and others. moved to seneca because she liked the small town feel. still visits her eldest brother’s grave every week to leave flowers. works as a cemetery caretaker bc WHY NOT. brings flowers to graves that are either unmarked or no longer visited. i hope you read all of that and just thought ‘oh my god fckin EDGELORD’ because you’re right.

alright ! fin.

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

[dltbzrkcr]

hiatus announcement

                 so... I hate to do it... but I think I’m gonna take a hiatus for a little while.

as classes have started again, it’s not abnormal for me to just.. disappear and go mia. but this a little bit different rn kind of... as I’m having severe issues regarding my dysphoria, regarding depression, regarding struggles and problems that I really don’t like talking to people about. I thought I was at the point of being over it, I was feeling better and okay. And now, here I am, it’s september, classes are hitting the 4th week in, and all I can think of is how in possibly a few years, I may lose contact with the only family member I care about anymore. Because I already know that my gender dysphoria is unacceptable to my parents. And I’m going to have to cut ties. And it’s something I think about a lot. And with all my stress and anger and frustration relating to my job, to school, you would think I could find ways to ignore it, to just... forget about it. but I can’t. The wound is still very fresh even though it’s almost been a year since they found out. And Some days its so hard to get out of bed and function like a normal person should. 

I want to drop out of college. Take a semester off idk. I can’t do that obviously. My life doesn’t have room for something like that. So, I have to keep trudging on and getting through it. There’s still those days that I just cant... and today, and yesterday, have been those kinds of days. Where all I can think about is what death is like. Or what it would have been like had I just been born normal. Either, as a guy, or with a brain that told me to tow the line like my family expects and be one of those fucking girly girls that they wanted so badly. And I hate it. I want to be myself. I want to be happy. That’s the biggest battle of all, the want to be happy. I grew up pretty unhappy. I’m the person who fakes a smile, who tells everyone that everything will be okay when in the back of my mind I don’t really know. I just. I don’t know if anything will ever be okay. I’m afraid of the future. Hell. I’m afraid of a lot of things. My biggest fear has always been to disappoint people though. I don’t like that feeling, and there’s a lot regarding my childhood & youthful years that relates to that feeling of wanting to make people proud. It’s become something akin to my duty, my job. I have to do it. I have to or I’m not good enough. So when I fail, there’s just that feeling of me, never being good enough. 

And being rejected by them, by my mother in specific... all I have felt is this sensation of failure and disappointment. Like I would be much better off dead than I would alive. Because to her I’m not Ryan, to her I will never be Ryan. Because to her, “I can’t biologically change what I am. Genetics say I’m a girl, so I’m a girl.” So to her, I am always going to be her ‘perfect little doll of a daughter’ that she dressed up, forced in beauty pageants, and all the other crazy bullshit mother’s do when they have a daughter and expect their daughter to be a girl. But I’m not a girl. I never was. And when I transition, I’m going to lose my father. Because he doesn’t talk about stuff like this--- we don’t communicate like that very well. Me and him have a similar style of handling things. We keep it to ourselves, we talk to no one, and we just move on. Because life isn’t worth the drama, he’s always told me that there’s no point in living if you can’t just be happy so he’s just always tried to be happy about everything. He tries to see the positives in life. But I’m afraid, like my mother, he won’t see the positives in me when I transition. 

I can’t describe the pain of having to lose your family. I don’t even think its a possible type of pain that anyone could really describe. Over the course of my life, I’ve had to numb myself to certain members of my family because they kept taking and taking until there was nothing more to take. I am unable to view one of my siblings as nothing more than a festering parasite who needs to disappear for what he’s done to my, my other brother, my mother, my father, my grandparents, my niece and my nephews. I can’t look at my mother without being reminded of all the things she’s done to me. I cannot even talk to her without being filled with anger because she has to start a fight over anything. everything. But my fucking dad? The only things he’s ever done wrong was work too much, and give in too easily. He’s the man I want to make proud. The only fucking one. and I’m terrified, that I may only have three more years of him in my life, because I will have to shut a door on them in order to find peace and happiness. Where I won’t have to fight for that right to have. whats worse is I’m afraid I won’t see him at all for these next three years, because I cannot bring myself to go visit them anymore after last thanksgiving. I’ve never felt so uncomfortable sitting with my parents. But hearing my mother tell me one moment, that she will accept me no matter what, and the next that I will always be female and that I have to accept that... is the most painful experience I’ve ever dealt with in my life. and because of that comment, all I have thought about for a year almost, is just how lovely it would be to stop feeling anything.

and thats not okay. so for my current mental health. im going to take a step back. im going to start therapy for the first time in 6.. 7 years? im going to talk to someone about being able to start T. and I’m going to find out for real, if I actually have PTSD with everything I’ve gone through. idk if people will care if i leave or if they’ll be happy when i return. that’s besides the point. the point is i need to focus on my mental health. so even though I just started up my multimuse blog recently, and that I love writing butch so fucking much like more than I can even describe despite how fucking slow I am, a big part of my problems and part of why i’m so slow... is my mental state. and it’s deteriorating again. 

to whoever read this... idk i guess, thanks? thank you for caring enough to read it. 

if you want to talk to me ooc, you can PM/IM me for my discord as I don’t hand it out publically.