#she talked about it on colbert

[larrylimericks]

22Sep22

O sets fires and then fans the flames, Then gives socials and gossip the blame— “It’s misogynistic!” No, you’re just a huge dick, Which one sees if they’ve not shit for brains.

[saltytyrus]

I know my therapist did NOT just seriously suggest a my pillow product 😭😭😭😭

[harrysfolklore]

tom blyth being obsessed with his girlfriend: a compilation

this was inspired by @astranva’s famous blurbs, love you and miss you novs <3

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

It seemed like the entire world was crushing on the same man: Tom Blyth

Unfortunately for those who watched The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and came out of the theater in love with the man who played Coriolanus Snow, he was happily taken and loved to talk about his girlfriend any chance he got, which lead to fans making several compilations about the times he was a simp over his girl.

The most popular video was a 10 minute and 33 seconds compilation, which had around 445k views.

It started with Tom's interview with Good Morning America to talk about Billy the Kid, the interviewer asking about how he prepared for the role.

"It was during the pandemic, like any actor during that time I was just hoping that the world came back to normal so I could start making a cent," everyone in the set laughed at this, "I was living with my girlfriend YN in a barn house and we were like chopping wood every morning and visiting my friend's ranch. So when I got the part I kinda felt like I was ready for it."

"Your girlfriend, you say," one of the interviewers said making Tom smile right away, "Did she help you prepare for the role too?

"Of course she did, she's my biggest supporter ever."

The video moved to show some behind the scenes of Songbirds and Snakes footage, Tom dressed in his peacekeeper costume and dancing around while Rachel recorded him.

"See this moves?" he got closer to the camera, "I used them to charm my girlfriend."

"And I doubt they worked." Rachel laughed behind the camera.

"She loves me so I'm pretty sure they did."

The next thing shown was Tom sitting next to Hunter as they did an interview for Rolling Stone, the crew just asked about their thoughts on Olivia Rodrigo's single for the movie.

"I love Olivia Rodrigo," Hunter cheerfully said, throwing her arms up to the air, "The new album is so good."

"I'm a big fan as well," Tom joined in, "My girlfriend YN, she's obsessed with her, plays her songs all the time."

"Just so everyone knows, YN is like the coolest person ever," Hunter said, making Tom smile, "She brought us snacks on set so many times, such an angel."

"She's the best."

The following footage was Tom and Rachel's rapid-fire questions with Vogue.

"Can you guess where this is from?" Rachel asked holding up a card that showed a zoomed in picture of a suit.

"That's my Prada suit from the London premiere," Tom asked confidently, Rachel confirming that he was correct, "My girlfriend YN loved that suit, that's why It's one of my favorites."

"Oh I miss YN."

"So do I, so do I."

Next clip was Tom's interview Stephen Colbert, who just asked him if he was a fan of the books growing up.

"I was such a huge fan, I grew up watching the films. My mom and sister used to go to opening weekends to see the movies," the audience cheered at that, "Actually, for my third date with my girlfriend I took her to see the last movie, so getting to play a young president Snow is a real honor."

The video quickly moved to show the lat clip, one of Tom's interviews at the London premiere of the movie.

"Are you here on your own? No date?" The interviewer said once Tom finished answering the previous question.

"I'm here with my girlfriend, actually," his face beamed as he spoke, "She's probably somewhere taking selfies with Hunter, those two are like best friends."

"Is she close to your cast mates?" the interviewer asked again.

"Definitely, they try to steal her from me and I can't blame them, she's the best."

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Neil talking about the responses to Good Omens Season 2 - from the Neil Gaiman interview with Brian Levine for The Gould Standard (x,x)

BL: The audience that you have built is a very passionately engaged audience. They, frankly, they love you. And one of the reasons they love you is that you fit into what I think of as one of two great divisions in art. There's, or in writing, um, there is: I'm entertained, I'm amused. I may be even enchanted; and then there's this hits me at a visceral level. You understand me as no one else does. You have touched something very central to my experience. And it seems to me that Much of your writing, maybe all of your writing, actually reaches your audience at that latter level. You know. I would say in the former category, sort of my quintessential and beloved example would be P. G. Woodhouse. He amuses me, but I don't feel like he's revealed my inner self at a very deep level. Um, were you aware that you were going to be able to achieve that? Um, that this is something... was it a startling thing when people began coming up to you, who'd read your work and said, this means so much to me?

Neil: Yeah. It was huge. And it wasn't expected. I... if I had a mountaintop I was heading towards, it was gonna be P. G. Woodhouse. Um, I wanted to be a proficient entertainer with a clear prose style who could tell stories. Um, it probably wasn't until Sandman that I found... I started to realize that in order for a story to work, I had to show too much. In order for a story to resonate, in order for a story to matter, I had to let it matter too much. And, and I remember the first people who would start coming up to me and saying, um, you, you know, your, your Sandman comics got me through the death of a loved one. Your death character got me through my child's death, through my parent's death, through my partner's death, through my friend's death. Um, and that left me kind of amazed. I'm like, well, I didn't write it to do that. I wrote it to feed my children. I wrote it to satisfy myself. I wrote it because nobody else had ever written it. And if I didn't write it, it wouldn't be written, but I don't think I wrote it to give you what you've taken from it. And I spent really about 20, 25 years feeling awkward about that. And then my father died, in March 2009, and never got to cry about it. Never... I, you know, I've, I've got on a plane and I went to the UK and dealt with the funeral stuff and organized all of that stuff and came back and go toff the plane and went and did Stephen Colbert's Colbert Report and wearing the funeral suit because and that was all I had with me and carried on. And then, somewhere in the middle of summer, I was reading a friend's script. They'd sent me a script and said, can you look this over? And I'm reading it, and on page 20, the lead character meets somebody, and on page 26 maybe, she's dead, and I burst into tears. And I'm bawling. I am sobbing. It is coming out of me in giant racking waves. And I realized that it's everything that I'd been, hadn't let myself feel, or hadn't been able, hadn't stopped enough to let myself feel, was suddenly being given permission to feel by the death of a fictional person who I'd met six pages earlier, ia script. And I thought that... and it was huge for me, and I thought, okay, that's that thing that people are talking about sometimes, when they come tome and they say, you, you did this. So right now, I'm in this weird, wonderful place where I think a lot of people in Good Omens Season 2 thought they were signing up for the P.G. Woodhouse, and didn't know that, no, no, no, you've, you've signed up for the whole thing. You've signed up for the feelings. You've signed up for the emotions. I... it is my job to make you care and to make you feel and to feel things you haven't felt before. And which meant that the first week or so after Good Omens came out, I was getting angry, furious, deeply upset messages on every possible social medium telling me that I had betrayed people, and it was awful, and they couldn't stop crying, and why would I do that to them, and did I hate them? And they hated me. And then a weird sort of phenomenon happened as people would watch the show again. And again. And now they started to know, okay, this is where it's gonna go, this is what's gonna happen, this is how it works. And they started realizing that they were actually feeling things, and that was good. And that they were caring about two people who don't exist. You know, I made them up, and then and Terry Pratchett made them up, and then, um, David Tennant and Michael Sheen gave them life, and then they get to walk around on a screen and you know they don't exist, but you can cry for them, you can love them, they can make you laugh, they can make you exult, and most important of all, they can make you care. And the number of people who are now writing to me, saying, 'This was so important to me. This has changed my life. This makes me feel like I belong. This makes me feel like I can cope. And it's let me sort of find myself. P. S. I hope you get to do Season Three.' is, is huge.

[solaireverie]

dr3 | deep blue but you painted me golden

part one — i polish up real nice

[ series masterlist ] part 2 | part 3 | part 4

pairings: daniel ricciardo x f!leclerc!rbr driver!reader, lestappen

summary: [ social media au ] y/n joins red bull and stirs shit up! ft. lestappen's oblivious flirting and danny's impeccable pr training

warnings: language

faceclaim: barbara palvin + random faceless checo pics

author’s note: i first came up with the last post of this series (stay tuned!) and it kind of snowballed into whatever this is 😂 i played fast and loose with the timeline. suspend your disbelief. anyways, enjoy!

Daniel Ricciardo Talks About Red Bull and What Comes Next — The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

liked by charles_leclerc, redbullracing, pierregasly and 459,157 others

yourusername looking forward to racing with an undying commitment to winning 👊 thank you so much @.redbullracing for the opportunity to join the fastest team in the paddock

view comments

charles_leclerc super fier de toi 💙 mais ferrari est toujours la meilleure [ super proud of you but ferrari is still the best ]

↪ yourusername si ça te chante 🙄 🥰 [ whatever floats your boat ]

user not the caption 😭😭

↪ user she definitely saw the interview 😭😭

↪ user christian did say that rbr thought it was "right" to bring daniel back to the team 👀 which team and in which capacity though... 🤔

↪ user praying y/n isn't the next victim of the red bull second seat curse 🔮🧘🙏🕯

user y/n didn't hesitate at ALL with the speed comment huh 💀

↪ user i mean she's not wrong, red bull are currently the fastest and if they keep their momentum they'll completely dominate this season

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, danielricciardo and 519,238 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, yourusername

redbullracing Pre-Season Testing sees us go fastest as Max and Y/n record fantastic numbers 💪

user holy shit we all know that y/n is a rookie but can we just appreciate her pace during testing??? that's insane for anyone, let alone a driver who's still getting used to the car

↪ user i've been saying it for months y/n could 100% be the next big thing for f1

↪ user can't wait to watch an actual race 🤩

liked by yourusername

user hear me out, rbr 1-2 in bahrain 👀

↪ redbullracing what dreams are made of! 🙌

user y/n proving all the haters wrong we love to see it!

liked by yourusername

↪ user danny would still do better though 😤

↪ user well he's not the one in the cockpit so wouldn't it make more sense to just support y/n as well?

liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 1,258,976 others

yourusername never in my wildest dreams did i think this day would come. getting my first podium in my first formula 1 race is absolutely insane to think about. i don't have words to describe the joy i feel.

thank you to @.redbullracing for giving me this chance, thank you to the fans for cheering me on, and most importantly, thank you to my family for supporting me in chasing my dreams ❤️

i promise i'll keep making you proud. p2, baby!

view comments

charles_leclerc that's my baby sister 😍

↪ yourusername we were born a year and a half apart.

↪ charles_leclerc yeah well max and i are only 16 days apart and he still calls me a baby

↪ yourusername i— you know what, you're hopeless 💀

liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, arthur_leclerc

maxverstappen1 congratulations y/n 😁

liked by charles_leclerc

↪ yourusername thank you max!

danielricciardo 👏👏👏

liked by yourusername

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist

[hard-core-super-star]

During an interview with Hailee, someone asks reader to marry them, and Hailee isn't too happy about it.

it it cool that i said all that? [H.Steinfeld]

pairing: hailee steinfeld x actress!reader

summary: doing interviews with your girlfriend is all fun and games until someone gets too comfortable with their questions.

warnings: none, just fluff; a speck of possessive hailee; two dashes of (not-so) secret relationship vibes; awkward interview moments that gave me second-hand embarrassment while writing

wordcount: 1.1k

a/n: does anyone else remember when comic-con was a big deal? yeah, me neither. so, instead of a convention-type vibe, i went the talk show route. [specifically stephen colbert because he's the only host i can honestly say i like] slowly but surely getting through all of my requests but the urge to write alpha!kate pt. 2 is starting to take over my life so...don't be surprised if i disappear for a few days and then post it out of the blue.

* * * * * * *

There are only a few things more nerve-wracking than having to sit in front of a room full of people and answer questions you’re definitely not prepared for despite all the time you’ve spent overthinking. The only thing that could possibly make that situation more anxiety-inducing is having to do it next to someone you’re dating…in secret.

It’s not a well-kept secret by any means but the lack of confirmation from both parties is more than enough to have fans from both sides analyzing every single comment that gets exchanged. You don’t really mind it, even though sometimes you feel like there’s a target on your face. 

A target in the form of looks you can’t hide and smiles you don’t share with anyone but Hailee.

Okay, so maybe you’re incredibly obvious about your feelings for her but it still took her until after you finished filming Hawkeye to realize the truth hiding beneath all your stupid jokes. It would be easy to make fun of her for being so oblivious if you weren’t exactly the same way.

It took more than a few tries but the two of you eventually gathered enough courage to be honest with each other leading to the start of quite possibly the most chaotic but most rewarding relationship you’ve ever had. Just because most people in your life haven’t caught up yet doesn’t make it any less amazing.

The thing no one prepared you for, though, is having to do talk show interviews while avoiding the topic of said relationship. It’s not like either of you is genuinely trying to hide the truth, it’s just easier to explore your developing feelings when there aren’t a ridiculous amount of eyes trained on the pair of you.

Eyes that sometimes don’t quite know how to read the room.

Which brings you back to your current situation.  You and Hailee are sitting slightly too close together while doing another interview where you have to dance around spoilers while trying to get people excited for Hawkeye.

It turns out, you don’t actually have to do much since seeing the two of you together seems to be more than enough to get people talking about the show.

“So, y/n, I know this is your first time doing an interview like this and I don’t want to scare you away so how about we get some questions from the audience?”

The crowd erupts into cheers and you can’t help but let out a nervous laugh even though you already knew this was going to happen. Being notified ahead of time still isn’t enough to stop you from worrying about what this segment will bring.

“What’s the worst that could happen right?” You joke, sharing a look with Hailee who merely shakes her head at you.

Of course, the list of “worst things that could happen” is quite long when it comes to people asking you whatever they want.

And right now, the way the brunette hasn’t let go of your hand since you sat down is definitely at the top of everyone’s list of questions. You’re sure no one is surprised by how affectionate she can be sometimes but it’s unusual to see her happily holding onto someone in a room like this one.

You swallow down your nervousness in order to focus on the questions that get thrown your way. Most of them are, in all honesty, softballs. Things like,”What was your favorite part about shooting Hawkeye?” and “Who’s the strongest Avenger?” 

You’re thankful for the easy questions until the humor your responses carry inspires some…bolder comments. Stephen lets everyone know the next question will be the last and the lucky fan who’s chosen takes her chance.

“Marry me?”

The easy atmosphere of the room leaves you completely unprepared for the question and the only real response you can offer at first is a laugh. A laugh that earns you a grin from the bold fan and a glare from your unamused girlfriend.

“Yeah, sure,” you reply with a shrug. “My manager will email you my schedule.”

Your response is just as unexpected as the question which just makes the audience laugh harder.

There’s a slightly smug look on your face that disappears the second you turn to look at Hailee.

She’s an actress, and a fantastic one at that, so she hides her emotions well. Unfortunately, you’re an expert at reading her and the lack of a smile on her face tells you all you need to know.

“Too bad you have a very busy schedule,” she says through a chuckle that sounds more forced than anything you’ve ever heard out of her.

“True, true. I’m a very responsible dogsitter and I don’t think Martini would be fine with me leaving her for so long.”

“Does she get jealous easily?” Stephen clearly picks up on you trying to change the topic but Hailee’s not done voicing her displeasure.

“Her owner does.” The words are a mere mumble but the microphone picks her up loud and clear.

Your eyes widen and her comment renders you utterly speechless. It’s not that the words are a complete surprise, you just can’t believe she actually said that in the middle of an interview.

She realizes what she said a few seconds later and her soft eyes meet yours. There’s a layer of nervousness in them that she can’t quite hide and the sight makes your heart clench. You can’t do much to reassure her though so you merely squeeze her hand three times and let the interview continue.

The minutes feel like hours but you eventually wrap up and are allowed to go back into your shared dressing room. Hailee all but drags you inside and you close the door behind you once you're in the safety and privacy of those four walls.

“I shouldn't have said that,” she blurts out, her hands emphasizing her words and the anxiety they carry. “I just, I don't know what came over me. It was stupid and I’m-”

“Lee.” You quickly cross the small space between you and grab onto her slightly shaky hands. “You don't have to apologize, everything’s fine.”

She blinks a few times but the action doesn't get rid of the genuine surprise that's etched onto her features. “You…You're serious?”

“Incredibly. I thought it was cute that you got jealous like that.”

Her usual playful energy comes back the instant she realizes you're not upset. And it very quickly becomes clear she's not actually upset either.

“Excuse me, I wasn't jealous. I just thought it was a lame question.”

“Mhmm, right.” You let go of her hands in order to wrap your arms around her waist and pull her close. “I'll make sure to remind you of that if I ever propose.”

She leans in to kiss you until her brain catches up to your joke. There's a hint of a pout on her lips that makes you chuckle.

“What do you mean if?”

You don't bother with replying and instead kiss her again, knowing your actions will be more than enough to soothe her worries.

[scarvain]

✶ STARGIRL — hamzahthefantastic x reader

003 ✶ In Too Deep

stargirl masterfile – next – previous

SUMMARY: hamzah has a crush on a youtuber who's always out and about and slushies see their relationship progress on social media! (smau)

DISCLAIMER: reader is a brown haired girl and for some pics that aren't faceless, i'll be using olivia rodrigo cause i love her and she’s filipino like me hehehe

A/N: i added twitter in this au and if u guys have app recommendations for the fake texting stuff pls let me know!!

liked by slushyfan, aisharae, and others

ynln late night froyo (ps get urself a guy who would download ur fav album for u and put it in a cd)

view comments

user627 i thought of the sinjin song HELP

user109 is that hamzah...

user234 THE SOFT LAUNCH?!!?!

wes10 steven colbert

↳ ynln late night frozen yogurt

user935 that is literally hamzah omfg 😭😭😭

hamzahthefantastic Re eh eh ed

liked by scarvain, iloveyn, and others

ynlnupdates Y/N with Hamzah and Fans today!!! ❤️

view comments

user378 HOLY SHITTTT

user102 MY PEOPLE WTF

user446 does this make it official

user529 they look so gooddd

user817 OH MY GOD THATS ME!!!!

↳ user623 HOW WERE THEY

↳ user817 SOOOO NICE!!! and hamzah had his arm around her shoulders after we left 🥹

ynln posted on their story !

INSTAGRAM STORY WAS DELETED.

scarlet @iloveyn

DID U GUYS SEE YN'S STORY OH NY GOOODDDD

50 replies 35 retweets 103 likes

user555 I DID WHAT THE HELL

user018 she has to be talking about hamzah right

↳ user126 what did she post i didnt see :((

↳ iloveyn HERE she deleted this 3 minutes after thank god i had notifs on

↳ user126 OH MY GOD...

user927 did she think she was posting it on her burner LMAOOOOO

✶ taglist — @cdbabymp3 @noturbabe22 @dabuggh3 @kingvioleta @tumb1rgir1z LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD!!!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

The rose hanbury rumor is completely mainstream now. Idk how it will go away when the sussex stans are continuing to spread it. I don’t really see this going away, especially not with the cholmondeys always attending events. What can Rose do? I know she sent a letter to Stephen Colbert but can she stop Entertainment Tonight from writing about her?

But it’s not really mainstream, though. It’s only “mainstream” when the Sussex Squad talk about it and make it trend on social media.

If you take Sussex Squad out of the equation, no one talks about Rose. She was at the OBE service yesterday, did anyone care? No, because she wasn’t photographed with anyone to make it relevant. But people have their knickers in a twist today over being photographed with Camilla *last week*…because Sussex Squad finally saw the photos. I saw the photos when they were first published and believe me, no one was talking about the affair rumors over the weekend.

It’s exclusively Sussex Squad that talks about it. So once Sussex Squad goes away, Rose will have her peace. And if you think that won’t happen, then you’ve probably been spending too much time in the fandom because the affair rumors barely register in “real life” - and that’s fine if you like it that way but that perception isn’t accurate.

[lastweeksshirttonight]

Did you want my notes on Strike Force Five episode one? No? TOO BAD! YOU'RE GETTING THEM!

(Heavy spoilers for episode 1 if you plan on listening soon!)

- I love the show's overall vibe and the "roles" that all of the guys play. It's definitely a free-wheeling, off the rails kind of show, where everyone is rambling over each other; the personalities involved can make or break this kind of podcast, and everyone thankfully is playing to their strengths.

Kimmel serves as the overall show runner and is seemingly the only one endeavoring to keep anything on track, which is a slightly thankless job with this group, but he's got a soundboard and all his radio experience guiding him. Colbert also leans into being the other "elder statesman", as it were, but is much easier to derail (and provides his own episode eclipsing derail I'll talk about later). Fallon is surprisingly reserved and a bit awkward - I'm not the hugest fan of Fallon, but in this podcast, that energy serves him pretty well. Kimmel introduces Seth as "the cute one" and he seems the most neutral so far, just there to ask questions and crack jokes. And John is their super sarcastic "evil teammate" who occasionally interjects to just destroy everyone. Perfect dynamics, 10/10, no notes.

- Seth qualifies his eyes as ocean blue. John says they're Gatorade blue. I don't think I've ever laughed harder at a description of someone's eyes.

- There's a point where I assume there must have been a really blunt edit, because Fallon changes the topic abruptly to having a doctorate. Otherwise, I love the image of Fallon just sitting on that revelation and WAITING, BURSTING to talk about how he has a doctorate, while everyone else talks about Kimmel getting paid summers off.

- Everyone mention multiple times that they have sponsors and are doing this show to help pay their staff during the strikes, which is lovely. This does not mean they aren't taking the piss out of their sponsors. I never thought I'd hear worse ad copy reading than I do on The Jeff Gerstmann Show (I love Jeff, don't get me wrong, but his ad copy screaming is hilariously bad), but the Casamigos ad in this is something else. John spends most of his reading time shitting on a bleeped-out competitor that he calls "not fit for human consumption", Stephen says "you're gonna wanna wipe your ass with it" and likens it to the smoothness of sheets you make love on, there's a disembodied "woo" at some point, Seth stumbles all over a few Spanish words, and Fallon delivers his lines in his awful fake French Timothee Chalamet puppet voice. It's pure chaos and I love it so much.

- Kimmel referring to "the despicable Matt Damon" made me so happy.

- John has never done a deposition. Kimmel saying "I'm surprised you're not in prison" gets lost which is sad, that's a fucking hilarious joke.

- Fallon tells an amazing story about his mom being a nun for a week. She left after being reprimanded for taking Lifesavers into the nunnery and then left. My late aunt and best friend, who was also a nun, probably would have loved Jimmy's mom, as she was always going on wine tastings and picked the order she joined entirely based on who would let her continue to drink after taking her vows. Jimmy also has a picture of his mom dressed as a nun holding a doll dressed as a nun, which is absurd and adorable.

- This leads to everyone but Seth confessing that they'd all thought about becoming priests at some point. That doesn't shock me about Stephen at all, tbf, knowing how religious he is.

- I have to shamefully admit that when John mentioned that he told his father he wanted to be a vicar, my brain went to an extremely Fleabag place and I had to rewind the podcast once I snapped out of it and realized I'd missed like 3 minutes of jokes (including a fantastic one from Seth about John having a doll of himself as a child, like Fallon's mom's nun doll).

- "Don't you want a whole new crop of relatives to visit and entertain?" "Do you wanna get cancelled?! :D" The two Jimmys everyone.

- Stephen reveals who he has everyone saved as in his phone, to prevent people from figuring out who his contacts are if his phone gets stolen. John's is Joliver, which 1) was his name as written on TDS scripts to differentiate him from Jon Stewart, and 2) as everyone points out, is a VERY easy code to crack. Don't really need Sherlock for that one.

- ONE OF US ALERT: Stephen collects weird late night shit, like a hat from The Chevy Chase Show (John literally goes "WOW") and a silk jacket from The Pat Sajak Show. I am very jealous of this collection.

- Next episode everyone will talk about first episodes. I cannot wait to hear John talk about how all over the place his first episode is.

- The big story, running joke, and completely wild admission from this episode - Stephen Colbert has a pair of Nicaraguan dictator Anastasio Somoza's pants. Fallon asks how no one outbid him, and it turns out his MOTHER had them BECAUSE SHE DATED HIM. His uncle went to LaSalle Military Academy with Somoza, and Somoza stayed with them during holiday breaks. Everyone else in the room picks up on the idea that Stephen's mom probably slept with a dictator (or as Kimmel says, "made love to a murderer"), Seth claims his mom drinks coffee out of Ferdinand Marcos' skull, and every other male figure Stephen brings up for the rest of the episode is assumed to be someone his mom slept with.

If you asked me before listening to this podcast if I thought there were going to be a pile of elevated "your mom" jokes holding it together, I would have pretty strongly said "no". Surprises at every turn in this pod.

The beginning of this story also captures John SO STRONGLY, and he wants to hear everything about it. Definite Bugle vibes there, this man will never not want to hear about weird dictator facts. He also manages to completely kill Seth by saying "Anastasio Somoza's pants, brought to you by Casamigos".

- Finally, I have already sent an email to the show asking about Planet of the Bass, to make up for my complete failure to ask at the Q&A. I got y'all, we'll get this answer some day.

[donovanlizzie]

LETTERS FROM HOME - BRAD COLBERT

The desolate desert stretched endlessly around the Marines of Bravo Company as they huddled together during a rare moment of respite. The sound of boots shuffling through the sand was interrupted by the unmistakable thud of a bundle of letters hitting the ground.

Mail dump day was always a mix of anticipation and anxiety, a brief connection to the world they had left behind.

Brad Colbert picked up the bundle, scanning through the envelopes until he found one that stood out from the rest. The familiar handwriting, a source of comfort in the chaos of war, bore the name Y/N.

His friend had been faithfully writing to him, offering a lifeline to the world outside from the harsh reality of the desert.

Ray Person, Brad's close friend and fellow Marine, eyed the letter with a teasing grin. "Oh, who's this from, Colbert? Got a secret admirer?"

Brad shot Ray a sidelong glance, clutching the letter protectively. "It's from Y/N, alright? Just a friend."

Ray's eyes widened with exaggerated interest. "Y/N, huh? Is she hot?"

Brad rolled his eyes, trying to dismiss Ray's playful prodding. "She's just a friend, Ray. She writes to keep me sane out here."

Ray, undeterred, leaned in with a mischievous grin. "So, what's she saying? Anything interesting? Does she talk about me?"

Brad sighed, reluctant but amused by Ray's persistence. "She asks about how we're holding up, when we might be coming home. Just normal stuff, you know?"

Ray burst into laughter. "She sounds cool, man. Keep those letters coming. I want to hear more about our pen pal !"

As days turned into weeks, the letters from Y/N became a lifeline for Brad. In the quiet moments between missions, he found solace in her words. Ray, on the other hand, continued to tease him relentlessly.

"Hey, Colbert, any romantic confessions in those letters?" Ray nudged him with a grin.

Brad shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "Just friendly stuff, Ray. It's nice to have someone who cares, that's all."

Yet, as the correspondence continued, something shifted within Brad. Y/N's letters became a source of comfort, a connection to a world beyond the harsh reality of war. In the quiet solitude of his tent, he found himself contemplating his responses, pouring his thoughts and feelings onto paper.

One day, as Brad eagerly tore open another letter from Her, he discovered something tucked inside. A small photograph slipped into his hands, transporting him to a moment frozen in time. The image captured a carefree day before deployment – they had just finished surfing, and Y/N, with her infectious smile, had jumped on Brad's back as he carried her up the sandy shore.

A nostalgic warmth spread across Brad's face as he traced the contours of the photograph. The sound of waves crashing, the feel of the sand beneath their feet – it all came flooding back. That single picture became a cherished token, a reminder of a life left behind and the person who waited for him.

Unable to resist, Brad carefully tucked the photograph into the dashboard of his Humvee. It became a silent companion on every mission, a small but powerful reminder of the world beyond the war zone.

Ray caught a glimpse of the photograph. His eyes widened with a mischievous grin as he leaned in to get a closer look.

"Well, well, Colbert," Ray teased, "who's this beauty? You've been holding out on us!"

Brad shot Ray a look that was equal parts annoyance and amusement. "It's just a picture, It's from Y/N, before I left. when we went surfing."

Ray, undeterred by Brad's dismissive tone, continued to playfully push his buttons. "Just a friend? Come on she’s Been writing to you ever since we got out here and she's hot! if you don't want her, can I have her number?"

Brad rolled his eyes. "she's not interested in you, Ray."

Ray let out a dramatic sigh. "Well, fine. No need to be so protective. But seriously, how did you end up with a friend this hot?"

Brad's stoic expression softened as he looked at the photograph. "We've been friends for a long time.."

Ray, sensing a genuine connection, decided to ease up on the teasing. "Alright, alright, no need to get all sentimental on me. Just making sure you're not hiding some supermodel pen pal from the rest of us."

As days turned into weeks, Ray noticed a subtle shift in Brad. The stoic Marine, known for his unwavering composure, the ‘Iceman’ persona seemed to carry an extra layer of motivation and purpose. Ray, perceptive despite his laid-back demeanor, began to understand the significance of Y/N's presence in Brad's life.

One evening, as they shared a quiet moment in the dim glow of the camp, Ray nudged Brad with a knowing look. "You really care about her, huh?"

Brad nodded, a rare vulnerability in his expression. "Yeah, I do."

MASTERLIST

GENERATION KILL MASTERLIST

[esha-isboogara]

𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓹𝓮𝓽 ♡ !!WIP!!

*i’ve had this in my notes since ninth grade but i am feeling pretty motivated to reboot it sooo

my daddy issues and my need for validation from my higher ups is really starting to shine through huh ? i’ve had a crush on jake peralta since i was young so why not release all those thoughts onto the page..ALSO amy is not around in this bc i can’t bear to have them in the same universe and not be together i love them so so so much.

teacher!jake peralta x highschool!reader

y/n gets a low score on her health quiz and doesn’t know how to feel. lucky for her mr. peralta knows a thing or two about sex ed.

☆you know the drill minors..shoo shoo!!! power imbalance, piv sex, oral(m), fingering, praise, dirty talk, sex on the desk, reader is of age

y/n glanced down at her paper ,blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall. the number 33 was scrawled out on the top in distinct red ink as if to rub everything in. she was in utter disbelief.

“if anyone has a problem with their grade feel free to speak to me at the end of class”. the teacher spoke , leaning against the chalk board.

she wanted to get to her feet and scream in his face . how could he have done this? she was a perfect student and he just ruined it like it was nothing. how could he be so calm about the whole ordeal? but she stayed seated , doing her best to gain control of her emotions. she was in high school now , too big to be crying over grades. you were college bound, just a few more months you had to hold on.

the end of class came in a flash. y/n did her best to gain composure as she walked up to his desk.

“can i talk to you about my grade mr. colbert”? she asked timidly,placing the piece of paper in front of him.

he gave her an unamused look and nodded. “make it quick miss l/n”.

taking a deep breath and mustering all her confidence she finally spoke. “this lesson doesn’t make much sense to me ..i studied for it all this month and i still failed. i was hoping”-

mr colbert put his hand up as an indication for her to stop. “look y/n, i’m sure you’re used to getting your way when it comes to your grades. kids like you infuriate me, trying to worm your way into a teachers heart in order to pass. unlucky for you though i’m nothing like that. sorry you failed my quiz but that is not my fault. maybe study harder next time and don’t rely on me to be your saving grace”.

it was clear he didn’t want to continue the conversation. she thanked him for his time and walked out a few warm tears trickling down her face.

“fucking jerk”. she thought,clutching her bag. she needed someone to talk to.

—————-

“mr.peralta”? she peeked her head in through the open door hoping to see him. to her relief there was, sitting pretty at his desk.

his head turned towards her and he smiled warmly. “hey y/n ? what’s goin on”? he was a nonchalant as ever. it was always so easy to talk to him or at least for her.

she walked in and sat in one of the empty desks in the front of the room. “i need your help with something. it’s school related so don’t worry..usually i wouldn’t bother asking but you’re the only person i’m comfortable speaking to”.

he nodded , his dark umber eyes locked onto hers. she always felt so special when he focused all his attention on her when she was speaking. like she was the only girl in the world. she knew how strange these feelings were but she never failed to embrace them when they surfaced.

“im failing health..and mr. colbert refuses to work with me. so i figured i’d ask you instead”.

his face lit up. “i’m truly honored y/n. i would be more than happy to help you out whatever way i can”. the man left his chair and made his way towards her. “ and i’m sorry mr. colbert is such a douche to you y/n. he’s usually the main topic of gossip in the staff room…you didn’t hear that from me though”.

the tenseness in her shoulders eased at his words. she knew she could always count on him. she could feel a smile creep onto her face.

“ugh, i’m so glad i’m not the only one who feels this way about him. all the kids in my class adore him”.

“oh not by a long shot”. he laughed. oh that laugh. y/n felt so comfortable in his presence.

a bit of small talk ensued , the both of them laughing and talking like old friends.

it almost made y/n forget why she came here.

almost.

“here”. she handed him the large packet , his hands brushing over hers as she did so. if she wasn’t carful she’d start developing unprofessional feelings towards him.

“can you explain to me what you’re learning”? mr. peralta asked, his eyes scanning the packet in his hands.

she nodded. “yeah so basically it’s like sex ed and stuff…ya know consent and the parts of the body and all”. for some reason she felt her face heat up as she spoke. she wasn’t sure why. “i know about all of it but the terms really confuse me”.

he nodded. “yeah yeah that makes sense”. with a grin handed the papers back to her. “i think i can teach you a thing or two about sex ed. but you know how much i hate book work so instead we’re going to try a more…hands on approach”. his tone was sweet but she could see something more primal behind his eyes.

y/n was eager to pass her health class so of course she’d do anything.

jake found it adorable how oblivious she was to the situation. what an innocent little girl waiting for a man like him to ruin that angelic façade.

“okay. let’s start with consent hmm”? he sat in the chair next to yours. he placed his hand on her thigh causing an exited shiver to run down her spine.

“consent is important for both parties understand? one person can want it but the other might not. don’t ever let a man force you into submitting to his wishes”. his hand was now running up your thigh ,passing underneath her uniform skirt. “for example , do you consent for me to go on with this y/n ? your answer will not change anything don’t worry”.

y/n felt all the breath leave her lungs at once. she couldn’t believe this was happening right now. was she actually about to fuck her juvenile justice teacher?

“y-yes”. she managed to say.

mr. peralta held a stern look on his face. “you’re sure y/n”?

unable to speak she nodded her head vigorously. the tingling sensation on her inner thigh was something foreign but not unwelcome.

“perfect ! you’re such a fast learner y/n, my smart girl”. he hoisted her into his arms as if she weighed nothing and sat her on the surface of his desk.

how could such a man be so strong she thought to herself. though, she was not complaining.

he sat down in his desk chair and admired her pretty figure sitting atop his desk. it was heavenly. she was obviously so flustered. he wanted to take her as soon as possible.

“have you ever had sex y/n”?

she was taken aback by his question but shook her head earnestly. “no mr. peralta. i…have never been kissed either”. y/n immediately regretted sharing that bit of information she was sure she made herself look like a fool in front of her teacher

he felt his heart skip a beat at this information. the thought of destroying her for every every other man was appealing to him. “so i’m your first? a pretty girl like you i would have expected at least a kiss”.

he moved his face upwards and ghosted his lips against hers. “but i am more than happy to be your first”.

“m-mr. peralta”?

“call me jake sweetheart, it’ll sound so pretty coming from your mouth”.

“thank you for helping me…it means a lot of me”. she spoke nervousness laced in her tone and she was starting to fidget with her fingers.

grasping your hand in his he gave it a confident squeeze. “no need to thank me yet beautiful, we haven’t even got to the good part yet”.

he slid his fingers over her clothed sex, basking in how wet she was. and just for him. the amount of restraint it took for him to not wreck her right then and there was immense.

“okay sweetheart, just follow my directions and you’ll be fine”.

she nodded again eager to have this feeling of tension building in her stomach relived.

“yes mr. peral-i mean jake”.

always so ready to please him. jake knew he didn’t deserve a girl like her sitting pretty atop his desk but he was not going to ponder the fact longer than a millisecond.

ever so gentle he moved her panties to the side , the gasp of pleasure was music to his ears as the cold air washed over her sex.

“my my y/n..you really are filthy. i never would have taken you for that type of girl”.

she turned her face away from his gaze,not wanting him to see how flustered he was able to get her.

“no need to be shy , i think it’s cute” he comforted. it was taking a lot of self restraint on his part for him not to devour her then and there. the last thing he wanted to do was over stimulate the poor thing.

her thighs we’re quivering at his touch ,it was clear how eager she was.

“i’m going to touch you now sweetheart..is that okay with you”?

[flodaya]

After this press tour we are about to see her more I’m pretty sure she’s not leaving a single chance to promote challengers very proud and excited🥺

we're going to get all the fun stuff, like hot ones, ladbible, chickenshop date, a good talk show with either meyers or colbert, magazine covers, hopefully vogue but i will take anything really, i want vogue beauty secrets, variety notes on a scene

OH we are about to EAT

[asteracaea]

So some gaylors and swifties are saying taylor is mirroring KK with brittany mahomes now, because she did that lover pose and that she is throwing shade to her. I don't know what to think anymore, I really don't understand what taylor is doing right now

also KK was mocked for being on the nosebleeds by some late night show and they are saying taylor and tree planted this

i'm sorry you feel shaken by this, anon!

i'm not phased by it, though. the anti-karlie contingent will grab at any wisp of an opportunity to dig at her.

i've been around here observing things for almost 4 years now and i am convinced that there is no bad blood between them (quite the contrary). the thousands and thousands of instances of them referencing each other in a loving way has me confident, and the haters can't shake that.

i haven't seen the colbert clip so i don't know the context, but it sounds really weird that he would talk about something that happened 7 months ago ? and the only response i have to that atm is that it proves kaylor is still a hot topic people are talking about !

[foxes-that-run]

Taylor wrote Out of the Woods and New Romantics that month and Harry was talking about Shania Twain on stage in October so I’m inclined to believe it.

Why Shania is linked?

Hi, in October 2013 Harry talked about Shania Twain 3 times:

8 October 2013 - He tweeted Shania Twain is so good, to which Shiana invited him to her show.

16 October 2013 - Shania Twain 'Still the One' for who would you like to listen to.

28 October 2013 - Shania Twain 'Still the One' for most embarrassing song, but he said not embarrassed, he just wanted to shout out Shania. Which the band collectively comment on the 'recent thing' with Shania Twain.

Shania also told Colbert she first met Harry 'was coming up' and she saw him perform in New York, they stayed in touch then he asked her to call his mum for her birthday, which I think was likely 2013. Anne's birthday is 21 October so these all make sense for that.

Anne's birthday makes sense - why Taylor?

The reason I wonder if the song choice is connected to Taylor is that Taylor is a big fan and 'Still the One' makes sense as a message in October 2013:

August - Taylors Lover Journal describes I know places, Harry's tired of saying 'That's not true' to someone he likes. Then they stayed till early hours together after the VMA

September - Taylor said "People think they know who I've dated and they just don't," "They don't know everything." Harry got his Rose tattoo 11 September. (roses and Haylor) Jack said Out of the Woods started, Joni Mitchell 28 September tweet.

October - the show before first Shania Twain tweet Harry picked a blonde girl out of an audience and hung out with her and her sisters, who said he kissed them on the cheek. Harry cried on stage during 'Over Again' in the show after. Taylor had dinner with Alexander Skarsgard and Harry threw up three times in the next show. Taylor then went back to LA and was spotted daily, including wearing a 'take me to Paris' shirt before final 'Still the one' mention.

But hang on Harry loves Shania

He does indeed, and the feeling is mutual. As well as these tweets and mentions Harry:

10 September 2017 - he played Still the One on Kazoo at the Grammy Museum Q&A before Shaina came to the show in the same venue. 2017 Timeline, he was emotional then.

22 June 2018 - he and Kelsey Chambers covered 'Still the One' at MSG. This is the 2 year anniversary of Robin's passing and likely for Anne. Taylor also had Niall on stage at Wembley wearing a NYC shirt that same day.

15 April 2022 - Harry invites Shiana to his first night at Coachella where they perform 'Still the one' and 'Feel like a Woman'. Shania later said to Zane Lowe that Harry really wanted Shania there for the first weekend. This was the same show Boyfriends was debuted with 'To BF's everywhere F*** you'. Later that week Joe his Co Stars' Elle shoot came out on 19 April 2022

On 12 April 2024 Shania posted a throw back of this to Instagram:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Shania Twain (@shaniatwain)

[cursedalthoughts]

Priority Research 7 Predictions - Iris Orthodoxy

Ah, the Iris. At the time of writing this post, we don't quite know if they're the CN 7th Anniversary faction or not, meaning they could be getting a gacha UR.

In this list I will also mention some possible DRs of them. Because I think they deserve more than what they already have - no offense to Brest enjoyers, she's very cool.

Colbert

Let's make one thing very clear:

Colbert was built in Brest in the 1960s, and served until 1972 as a light cruiser. Colbert did exist in real life, which would disqualify her from being a PR; however, she served at the beginning of the Cold War period, meaning I do not care.

Colbert was designed as an AA cruiser, the last of the ships France would classify as "cruisers" before adopting the term "frigate" for them.

She has a total of 16 low calliber 127mm guns in 8 turrets, guns which have a sub-4s reload time and have a considerable fire starting chance of 7%. Might not seem like much, but when you're getting bombarded with around 270 of these shells per minute, that quickly adds up.

Colbert could make for a very fun little DR light cruiser, even if realistically she will never be a PR.

Bourgogne

Talking about DRs, Bourgogne is a classic.

Being a sidegrade to Alsace at one tier higher (Tier 10), Bourgogne is an excellent pesky battleship. As usual with French battleships, she gets an engine boost; and if Alsace is anything to go by (I don't have Bourgogne lmao), she can easily reach 39 knots.

Her 12 380mm guns have a reload of 28s, to compensate for their low calliber at such a high tier; on top of having each a 36% fire starting chance. She's not quite HMS Conqueror or HMS St. Vincent levels of cringe, but she can be an HE spammer with no problems.

And if an enemy ship gives you a tempting broadside, her AP is not disappointing. Despite the low calliber, French shells are fast and hit hard.

Picardie

I sincerely hope we do not get Picardie in Azur Lane. She's utterly disappointing.

Picardie is a Tier 8 retrofit of Lyon, which swaps her perfectly fine and usable 340mm guns with pathetically weak 305mm guns. They have awful HE and AP penetrations, and not even her reload boost can save her.

However... Azur Lane has a track record of turning disappointing WoWs ships into fascinating PR shipgirls, so there's some hope.

PR rarity, of course. Just look at her bruh

Carnot

Certainly one of the ships of all time. Carnot is a supecruiser, much like Brest; but she's considerably different in terms of design. She has, for starters, ten 305mm guns; which is the most any supercruiser her tier has - Alaska, Ägir, Kronshtadt have 9, Siegfried has 6 (albeit 380mm), and Brest has 8. Her reload is subpar, however; at 22 seconds.

Her speed is very good, as it's mandatory of all French ships. Her armor is way too big to be good, as her deck sits high above the waterline, giving her plenty of large, flat, mediocre armor. Easy to penetrate with sufficiently large guns.

She works well as a PR, although I can see her being a DR as well.

Henri IV

Henri IV is the primordial French supercruiser. She's technically still just a heavy cruiser, armed with 240mm guns.

Once the queen of speed, Henri was nerfed to the ground a few years ago. Now, her acceleration speed is horrible, and her turning radius and rudder shift have also been nerfed, making her considerably less maneuverable.

Still, Henri IV could be an interesting older sister to Saint Louis; maybe even a DR.

Condé

While I'm not sure about Henri IV's rarity, I am certain Condé would be DR.

Condé is a bigger, better Henri IV, with quadruple 240mm gun turrets and access to a speed boost, a gun reload boost, and a burst fire mode which allows her to fire her guns every 1.5s for 2 salvos.

Condé is very good with what's known as a lighthouse build, which consists of making her as visible as possible.

The problem with Condé is the same as Yamagiri from the Sakura Empire prediction post - she's a Tier 11, and we have not gotten any Tier 11 yet. However, Condé is one of the most well known and beloved/hated Tier 11 ships, meaning she's way more popular.

[maklodes]

So, I was biking home from a little shopping. A woman was walking her dog on the same path. I was going to pass her on the left. The dog ran to the left where I was about to pass, and I stopped quickly to avoid hitting anyone. The dog kinda freaked out and attacked me. It was a small dog, though. No serious injuries, although I did later find I was bleeding slightly.

Anyway, I was talking to my parents and mentioned a few things I had done in the day, including the dog, and they started joking about wanting to sic Kristi Noem on the dog. Huh? I had missed some news about Kristi Noem, apparently. They talked about seeing it on the Late Show with Colbert.

I looked up the Noem story, and I also decided to look up the latest Late Show episode see the reference, and, not gonna lie, it pissed me off a little. Stephen is outraged that Kristi Noem shot a dog -- a 14 month old puppy! Although 14 months honestly strikes me as borderline to still be calling a dog a puppy, let alone untrainably young as he implies.

One thing the dog did that factored into Kristi's decision to shoot this dog is that while stopping at a farm, the dog attacked the farm's chickens. Stephen mocks the idea of caring about this:

If there's one thing no one should ever have to witness it's the loss of man's best friend, a chicken. 'cuz when you have a dead chicken, what could you possibly do with it? Rub it with olive oil, maybe a spring of thyme, some lemon salt, pepper, herbes de provence, lightly cover in foil and roast for an hour at 425? What?!

You see, only a deranged psycho would be so callous with a dog. It would likewise be deranged to see a chicken as anything other than an incipient piece of roasted meat. (I mean, this was a farm, so that was probably its ultimate fate anyway, but still.)

Part of it's partisan hackery, of course. Kristi Noem is a Republican and so on the Bad Team. Probably if a Democratic governor had done what she did, there wouldn't be apologetics exactly, but there would be a pained, wincing discussion of how that's not a great look.

A lot of it's just unexamined, unjustified speciesism, Stephen Colbert channeling the zeitgeist of normie, average Blue Tribe Americans, who think Animal Cruelty Is Terrible But Those Animal Rights Wackos Are Ridiculous If They Think We Shouldn't Eat Chicken.

I don't know. None of it's surprising. It's Colbert being Colbert. Trying to put my finger on why it got to me, I think it's the direct juxtaposition that aggravates me -- it's not lurking in the background as an assumption. It's directly bringing up the topic of animal kiling (as a "look at what these evil Republicans do!" thing), then dismissing the idea of caring whether some animals are killed as ridiculous within the very same topic.

Then on to the next topic: during court appearance, Trump may have farted! (Really.)