#she was a rescue so her quality of care before we got her is unknown

[butchyena]

jasper (bearded dragon) is getting up in years. she’s in a bioactive (plantless, she ate them lol) enclosure because when we first got her and had her in a hard-bottom tank she scratched almost 24/7, the moment we got her substrate she was very very energetic and inquisitive and spent the next week digging and pushing dirt around until she got it how she wanted and stopped relentlessly scratching/wall-surfing and now only does it when she’s going to poo. but in recent months i havent seen her digging as much at all, and im worried now it may be time to try a hard-bottom setup so i dont have to keep up w the bioactivity. but im worried if im wrong, she’ll go back to scratching and being stressed she cant dig. since she’ll go into brumation soon and stop moving and eating as much i’ll see if i cant maybe make a setup with a dig box in case she feels the need. but again, if im wrong, im worried she’ll spend all her time in the dig box and not in the optimal basking spots. idk idk idk

[muffinmonstah-art]

Tell me why and how SasoSaku. Sell me the ship.

Oh, that’s an interesting challenge. I’ve made a post a few days ago about how freaking weird it is for me that there’s a new audience following me mainly for my western comics’ fanart, but those of them who are also familiar with Naruto and it’s characters, don’t know my SasoSaku headcanons, or don’t care about the ship in general. I have had an established fanbase for so long that followed me for this ship that I guess no one ever asked me “why and how” about the ship. But I think this is the perfect time to introduce new audiences to my vast, long SasoSaku lore. They are the core ship of this account. They are the main topic of the only longfic I own. They have their own month dedicated to them. I’ve made a vow to myself that no matter how tempting it is for me to write my first fanfic in English for other fandoms, I wouldn’t do that until I can translate Definiciones Torcidas to English.

So, welcome to my first essay attempt. Why do I ship SasoSaku, and why it’s so important to me. -Feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me if I fail at explaining myself-

I think I should split this explanation into two main points:

The canon material that every SasoSaku fan quotes to showcase the ship’s potential. And in second place, my personal story/headcanon/established universe for the ship that exists separately from other people’s headcanons.

The canon material

To be honest, this part is kinda boring to me after so many years. The base it’s always the same since these two characters only interacted on one arc of the story. Quick summary for everyone reading this introduction and it’s not familiar with the source material: There’s a two-year timeskip. The main characters got split during said time skip and they have a rescue mission right after they get back together (Three of them get back together, Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi. Sasuke has left their village before the time skip on bad terms. He follows his own path of revenge, and when Gaara’s rescue arc happens, his location is still unknown).

Side Note # 1: I’m very much a Naruto hater. I think after this first arc, the quality of the story does nothing more than go down and down to the very bottom. I’ll try not to fulfill this essay with my complaints and rants about Kishimoto as a writer and his creation, and will try to focus on the task at hand, which is Sasori and Sakura and their canon interactions. But I think my overall critical perspective adds some context to my analysis.

 Back to the story, we are introduced to Sasori as a genius puppet master, the greatest one the Sand Village have ever given to the world. But he is a member of Akatsuki, the terrorist organization that kidnapped Gaara (The Sand Village’s leader - Kazekage - ). In fact, it’s both Sasori and Deidara who are given that kidnap mission. Deidara fights against Gaara and wins. Sasori does nothing during these first events. In fact, Sasori is presented as a mysterious, monster figure that just lies in the background while Deidara kidnaps Gaara. Basic trait of them both: they are artists. Sasori believes art is eternal, that’s why he created tons of puppets that can endure through time. Deidara believes art is ephemeral, that’s why his techniques are based on explosive clay figures of all sizes and forms. He blows things up, he can even blow himself up if the situation requires it. We see them fight a lot about their visions of art. Sasori threatens to kill Deidara a few times.

By the time Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi arrive at the Sand Village to help, they team up with Chiyo, a wise elder who is also Sasori’s grandmother. She has some other background story involving Kakashi’s father, who killed Sasori’s parents in the past but that is never explored. It doesn’t matter. She learns her grandson is a criminal that is behind this terrorist act so she goes with the group to help. 

This is the important part. By the time they track Gaara, they find him already dead. Akatsuki wanted the Racoon beast that was sealed inside Gaara’s body. These things are called bijuus. There’s nine of them. Naruto has the Kyuubi, aka the Nine tails fox beast sealed inside him. Once they extract the bijuu from Gaara, he dies. The encounter happens, the heroes learn they were too late, Naruto is furious. Deidara decides he’s going to take down Naruto so he leaves the scene flying above one of his giant clay birds with Gaara’s body. Naruto follows him, Kakashi goes too. 

So… Chiyo stays with Sakura and they are going to team up and fight against Sasori.

I forgot, Might Guy’s team is also present on this arc. They go as reinforcements to help against the Akatsuki. But they don’t matter. You could cut them and little to zero would change. I don’t think they are well integrated into this arc.

I think the fight is pretty good. 

See, Sakura suffers from being a main female character in a story written by a male writer who has NO CLUE how to write female characters. For that, she’s very unlikable during part one. Superficial, selfish, and with little to no focus on her. Besides of that, much of what she does is related to one of the most nasty romantic subplots I’ve ever read in fiction. Her rivalry with Ino (her ex-best friend) which should serve to create some empathy with the reader and make her a deeper character, achieves the opposite result when we learn early in the series that Ino was her role model, the one that saved her from bullying, and Sakura chose to cut ties with her after she discovered they both had a crush on Sasuke. None of them have had an actual conversation with him, they just think he’s hot. 

But hey, much of this can still be forgiven when we consider Sakura is 12-13 years old in part one, and she is one of the few characters living in the ninja world that has living parents. We are shown through many characters on this series that being a ninja = dying on a mission and that results in many traumatized orphan children left behind. And the last time we saw Sakura before the time skip, she promised to Naruto she was gonna get stronger. I think this arc FINALLY delivers on that regard. Chiyo and Sakura make a fantastic team against Puppet Boy.

She has super-strength now and has medical abilities like her teacher, Tsunade. (Another thing that annoys the shit out of me is… Why does Kakashi ignoring Sakura in favor of Naruto and Sasuke, to the point that she had to learn from another teacher is never brought up in the story? Anyway, moving on.)

Chiyo explains the Sasori we see is not the real one. That’s Hiruko, one of his many puppets. The real one is hidden inside Hiruko. So, they make a plan to take him out of Hiruko:

He’s all cute and young, hasn’t aged a day since he left the Sand Village 20 years ago. (Meaning, Sasori is 35 years old by the time this fight is happening. Sakura is 15).

How can it be? No time for answers. Sasori summons his most lethal weapon: The Third Kazekage.

We are told the Third Kazekage disappeared a long time ago, no one has any idea what happened to him. It’s implied Sasori may have kidnapped him and killed him, turning him into his human puppet. The thing is, Sasori’s real technique and the reason why he is considered an ultimate genius is that he created this grotesque, unique process to turn humans into puppets, preserving the bloodline special powers they had in life. In this case, the Third Kazekage had the natural ability of Iron Sand. Meaning he could create metallic sand and form metallic giant geometrical things to use as weapons. Badass, am I right?

This is when the fight really happens. Sasori mentioned he was Orochimaru’s companion in Akatsuki before Orochi left the organization. Sakura associates Orochimaru with Sasuke, because the latter left the village to gain power and knowledge from Orochi himself.

This little interaction right here picked many people’s interest back in the day. Including me. Sakura’s goal is not just to defeat him. She wants him to tell her what he knows about Orochimaru. Yeah, she’s thinking about Sasuke but finally having her interacting with other characters beside the nasty crush is fresh for her. Finally we got her on a serious and committed mode, and the Sasuke thing is not even romantic here, because the main theme of the arc is her promise to Naruto about being stronger and useful. It’s to give closure to her little arc.

The fierceness in the way she talks here is just something we didn’t get to see to this point. Kishimoto just did not use her for anything else than a pairing fodder and crybaby for so long that it’s gratifying to see this warrior face of her without the other two annoying boys around. It’s great that a character like Sasori makes her be the best version of herself she has been so far, and without even trying. It’s also hilarious how he ignores her in a bored way and throws kunais at her.

Chiyo stops his attack by summoning Sasori’s parents puppets. They’re not human puppets. Sasori created these puppets back when he was a child to not feel lonely.

Side Note # 2: We’re not shown anything more than this about Sasori’s background. Everything else is speculation, including if he was a baby when his parents died, or if he was already old enough to understand what happened. 

Moving on.

Side Note #3: The way he grabs Sakura with robes to keep her trapped on a poisonous cloud while Chiyo tries to pull her back with her chakra threads looks hot to me, lmao.

“Oh, how can you say that when he’s trying to kill her?”

Number one, he does not care about her. He doesn’t know her. He just fights her because of circumstances. He’s just being practical. Number two, it’s only used to make her look badass one second later:

She makes an explosion of her own to dissipate the poisonous cloud and free herself.

Look at his face though. He is impressed. They’re enemies, he is 20 years older than her. He has tons of experience in combat. And him complimenting her skills continues to happen during this fight.

Side Note # 4: Even if I like this fight and personally consider this arc to be the end of the series, lmao, I have a problem with THIS

He makes iron spikes to crush them both separately, TWICE. Until they cannot use the chakra shields from the puppets to protect themselves. The shields get useless after one use because the iron sand invades them from the inside by contact. So… why doesn’t he use the same technique a third time? Just throw spikes at them again. 

But he can’t do that because he would have won. The end.

So what does Kishimoto do instead?

He makes Sasori create geometrical giant things for Sakura to crash with no problem. For no reason. Why? Why does he change his strategy so suddenly? Because is plot convenient.

Dumb. Makes me angry. Moving on.

The cave crashes because of the constant hitting, so they are now fighting in the daylight. Sasori creates a giant web of iron sand, that covers everything so they cannot escape. Sakura gets hit, Chiyo ends up trapped under a rock and it turns out, the iron sand was poisoned too this whole time. Sakura falls on the ground, Sasori laughs, feeling like he already won. He commands the Third Kazekage to give her the killing blow and…

She used an antidote she crafted during her time on the Sand Village, while she was curing useless Kankuro from Sasori’s poison, and faked being about to die so she could be close to the puppet to crash it.

I didn’t mention it, but this doesn’t come out of nowhere. Kankuro, Gaara’s older brother, tries to fight Sasori first to rescue his baby brother. Sasori kicks his ass and leaves him to die from his poison. Sakura cures him when she arrives to the village and keeps some antidote with her the whole time.

SHE DESTROYED HIS MAGNUM OPUS AND LOOK AT HIM. HE IS JUST IMPRESSED LMAO.

This is the moment we learn why he looks so young. He has turned himself into a human puppet, with the exception of one compact living tissue he keeps on his chest.

I’m gonna speed up from now on. The fight is still good. He uses 100 more puppets he controls with chakra threads from his chest. Chiyo uses 10 puppets, one with each finger of her hands. Sakura uses her punches. In the end it seems they could trap Sasori inside one of Chiyo’s chakra special tools but it was just his body. The living tissue escaped and migrated to another body at the last moment. He uses the confusion to try and stab his grandma from the back, but Sakura saves her by putting herself on the line of the blow.

I think it is hot how he is just that careless and continues to mess with her, like he isn’t almost out of resources at this point. Again, they’re fighting a fair duel. Everyone is giving their best and this whole scene is just to portray Sakura in a heroic way.

He continues to be impressed with her skills. Nothing to add, it’s just great.

Speeding up to the resolution of the encounter.

Chiyo and Sakura are both fighting against Sasori’s poison by this point. There’s just one antidote. Chiyo gives it to Sakura and Sasori laughs at his grandma for this.

Look, if there’s one spiteful, resentful reaction from Sasori during this fight it’s not against Sakura, but against Chiyo. We’re not shown their history together. We just know Chiyo raised him after his parents’ death and taught him to be a puppet master just like her. He created a lot of puppets while he lived in the Sand Village and, at 15 years old, he left. We know his mind became twisted enough that he started turning humans into puppets so I think it’s easy to assume Chiyo was a terrible parental figure and failed to keep him from following a dark path. And I like Chiyo, she’s easily the best female character Kishimoto ever created.

When Sasori tries to make the killing blow against Sakura, Chiyo uses Mom and Dad to stab him on his living tissue. 

Sasori now is about to die. Chiyo does not have an antidote, so she’s also agonizing. This is when a bullshit plot convenient moment happens. Despite having an antidote for Sasori’s poison, Sakura is about to die from the blood loss. She falls to the ground and Chiyo cures her with a forbidden technique she has been developing over the last years to turn inanimate puppets into living beings. She tells Sasori she planned to use it to give life to Mom and Dad as a gift for him. You’re still a terrible caretaker, but this is cute. 

Chiyo explains the price for reviving someone with that technique is to lose her life, but since Sakura is just unconscious, this is not enough to kill her. The reason for this technique to exist is to revive Gaara at the end of the arc, a happy ending for everyone except grandma Chiyo. It 's not subtle.

His indifference towards life moves her, makes her angry. Makes her care. He’s about to die, she knows that. But she still cares enough to have an emotional reaction to his words. To question his views in life. This makes me frustrated to no end. Why put an effort on making these characters have some type of exchange about their views on life if this is not going to matter? This had potential.

I must repeat myself. This is personal to Sakura, she is angry but she is almost trying to understand why he thinks that way. It’s alien to her but she has empathy. Sasori just answers honestly, like he doesn’t understand the human aspect of the question. It’s one of the last times the dilemma between Ninjas are tools vs Ninjas are more than tools makes itself present in this story. Like many other themes, it gets abandoned eventually because the writing of this series is dumb, and this interaction, while interesting, does not mean anything in the long run… 

BUT SO MUCH POTENTIAL. To me it looks like Sakura would have tried to make him change his mind or show him what she learned back in the Land of Waves on the Zabuza arc, that ninjas are more than tools. 

Chiyo stops the yelling by telling her Sasori is this way because of the traditions and culture of the Sand Village. So, these ninja villages are fascist places that brainwash their citizens to make them heartless tools that serve the interest of feudal lords and rich warlords. Sasori is not a deviant, it’s a product of the system… Another topic that will never be addressed again. Pathetic.

This is the last thing we see that can make us see the potential on the ship. Sasori is the one to bring up the information about Orochimaru to Sakura. He says “I'll do something pointless for you” just as earlier he was mocking the emotional impulse of Sakura as “Women like to do useless things.” The phrasing is curious.

And like that, he gives her information as a gift. Just because he felt like it. He had to be moved by what she did or said in any way to make this decision. Even if he only respected her as a worthy rival. It 's great.

As a last information before we jump to Deidara, Kakashi and Naruto, Chiyo says this: "Sasori saw my last attack... but... Somehow, he couldn't avoid it. It gave him a small opening..."

Sasori chose to die. I don’t know why Kishimoto did this other than to show Sasori as hyper-competent until the end. Even after all these years I’m still not sure if I like this or not. I guess this proves he really wasn’t that interested in remaining on Akatsuki and finishing his task. 

So this is the canon material. I think I covered most of it. But as I said before, this is just the base of everything. With the years, I have built my own thing from this. So I’m not your devoted fan that continues to revisit this fight over and over again. Far from it. For me it’s just the starting point.

Side Note #5: I stopped caring about this series from this point on. Starting with the next arc, I consider Sakura to be nothing more than a disappointing piece of filler, and sometimes just a plot device to showcase her male comrades as more competent or more virtuous/evil when Kishimoto needs it. She has very underwhelming “shining” moments from here and there, but she is not a main character anymore. She doesn’t have another arc or motivation after this either. What a perfect point to deviate from canon and build my own thing, right?

My personal story/headcanon/established universe for the ship

Now I can dive into the juicy part.

Back in the 2012’s, my boyfriend and I were going through a tough time in our relationship. He moved to the capital city, in another province to start university. I started university too. We were so young, so full of doubts and fear.  It’s natural to feel intimidated and anxious when you move apart from your loved ones for your studies. Being together long distance was the only option for us, really. We had been together since we were in school, in the same class and we were very close. Still the fear of a break up was latent because long distance relationships are hard as hell. Statistics say the majority of long distance affairs do not last.

I came up with the idea of writing a story together when we had our Skype weekly reunions. To pass the time, to have something to entertain ourselves and not miss each other even more than we already did. I already was a SasoSaku shipper so I said “let’s write a SasoSaku fic together, you write Sasori, I write Sakura and we take turns to write the rest of the characters according to what the story needs”. He accepted and like that, Definiciones Torcidas was born.

The fic is in Spanish, our mother language, but back in 2017’s SasoSaku month, I made a short fan-comic in English that serves as the prologue for our fic. You can check it out here.

The premise of the fic was basically this: “What happens if Sakura, following an irrational impulse, does not let Sasori die at the end of the fight?” and more important than that, “What if we try to exploit the age difference between them to develop every single one of their dynamics and interactions?” 

That was the start, and we took the project very seriously. We wrote Sakura as an inexperienced girl who had little to no experience on making difficult decisions and seeing the complexity of the world. There’s little to nothing explored about her in canon to know her views on anything, but we worked with the pro Konoha propaganda the author seems to spoon feed us constantly as a start. Konoha does terrible fucked up shit like murdering children from a clan to avoid a coup and using other villages with little to no military force as war zones for money and power. But still they’re depicted as the good guys. Sakura starts the story by being a Konoha brainwashed tool on her speech and actions.

Sasori and Sakura have a second encounter in the wilderness around Konoha’s territory after she saved his life, and canonically after she and her team came back from Orochimaru’s hideout and Sasuke walked off again. During that brief encounter, Sasori just asks what she wanted from him and she cannot answer. She gets nervous and defensive pretty fast. Sasori demands to know if someone else gave her the order of sparing his life but does not believe her words when she tells him that’s not true. It’s a tense start. Sakura leaves telling him to piss off and use his second chance in life to not start trouble, knowing he is not part of Akatsuki anymore. Sasori is very frustrated by his new status as a fugitive from the nations and Akatsuki, he even threatens to make some public terrorist attempt to make the public know he is alive, out of desperation because the irrationality of Sakura’s actions do not make sense in his mind. 

Sakura does not believe him, because that would alert Akatsuki that he is alive. But still, she leaves feeling terrible because she believes Sasori is mentally unstable.

She keeps what she did a secret, and cannot stop thinking about how her actions may put Konoha in danger. She ends up making up her mind that she needs to find him before he leaves the territory, and finish him for good.

My boyfriend put a lot of effort by crafting Sasori’s mind and views as pragmatic and not resistant to changes. He decided Akatsuki was not a safe option for him anymore, so he left. He has no weaponry, no way to contact his spies, no purpose in life, but he can recover. Start again. Evolve as an artist. He just sees Sakura’s resistance to listen to him as stupid and a waste of potential. He also leaves feeling frustrated. A few days later, when Sakura finds him again, by following the clues he left behind while trying to create a poison arsenal again (cut herbs, a dead opened snake, etc), he is not that surprised about hearing she comes to finish him again.

It was a fun combat to write. Sakura is out of focus, she tries to hit but she really does not show the templance and cold mind she demonstrated in their first fight. Sasori messes with her constantly. He says she is a stupid brat, she could accept his offer of an alliance or working together at Konoha’s back. But Sakura is fully committed to prove herself she’s loyal to Konoha. Nothing else matters. His mind games are starting to affect her, though. She becomes more aimless, more distracted, more confused. Sasori does not waste the chance he had created and uses his poison and the cutting blades on his disposal to make her lose the fight. The intention is very clear, he wants to see the broken will in her eyes. Something that reads as “I should have accepted his offer”. In the deep of his mind, he is resentful because he couldn't have an eternal, unbreakable will. In their first fight, he could have won but he had a weak mind and instead chose to die in the last second. He wants to prove she is not different from him. That people are all the same, they all show their will is not unbreakable at the doors of death. Only eternity matters.

But that doesn't happen. Sakura spits on his face and tells him to go to hell. She tries to hit him one last time but she’s really hard on drugs by that point, so she fails. Sasori is really, really impressed by the end. He won, but still it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right because he just saw an eternal will being showcased in front of his eyes. And according to his definitions… that’s art… that’s beautiful.

Sakura opens her eyes, hours later. She finds out she is bandaged and there’s no more poison nor drugs on her body. She was treated, by who? She sits on the ground and she sees Sasori watching her. He answers coldly that indeed, he saved her.

It’s pure irony that now, Sakura is the one that demands answers and Sasori is cold honesty by saying he couldn’t let her die because she carries beauty with her. He does not give it more importance than that. “I allowed beauty to exist. The end.”

Sakura feels disgusted, she cannot understand those motives. She tells him he should have let her die, so she shouldn’t have to face her defeat with her village. Sasori just laughs and says if she wants to die, she can try by herself, he’s just not going to help with that. He considers himself to be an outsider of the system by this point, a player that uses the system in his favor. So he cannot stop mocking her for her nationalism.

Sakura starts crying and tries to step up to hit him but she falls against his chest. She cannot make herself look him into the eye. She 's furious, humiliated. Sasori does not do anything other than lean to her ear and say “This is why I let you live”. 

So he leaves her to cry and defeat. He believes he did the right thing. He’s at peace with his personal values… for the most part. From this moment there’s gonna be what he describes to be a “losing piece” inside his mind, that he cannot name nor accommodate. He’s going to meditate a lot, and try to find himself again on his artistic path.

During her loneliness in that remote forest, Sakura realizes she woke up in a smoother place than the dirty ground. She goes back to her waking point and discovers Sasori’s black travel tunic. He just left her another clue to find him with one of Kakashi’s ninja hounds. They’re gonna meet again. And the chaos of their interactions and getting to change each other’s perspective on things has just begun. The story is +60 chapters so it’s a slowburn construction of their relationship.

We started publishing it in 2013 on ff.net and not only we put a lot of effort and hours of our lives into crafting that story. But the publication process also coincided with a turbulent time in our relationship. We had to adapt to being apart for most part of the year. Seeing each other on vacations, dealing with communication issues while we were apart from each other, emotional problems and tough shit. We were still growing into mature adults. We had many childish behaviors that were hurting ourselves and each other. So, while Sasori and Sakura’s relationship progressed on paper, our relationship grew and matured in real life. We ended up putting so much of our experiences, thoughts, fears, learnings on these two characters, that, even if they are fictional creations separated from us and that have their own arcs on their own fictional universe, have become like a reflection of our relationship. 

Sasori ends up calling Sakura by her first name in chapter 17 for the first time. They are having a heated argument for the 10th time about how Sakura does not trust him to not go into a murderous rampage while trying to understand what’s different about himself, when she suddenly says “How can I believe you see me as a person, when you have never called me by my name? I have a name, you know?”

He shuts up, tries to cool down a second, and says “Sakura Haruno… that’s your name.”

She starts trusting him a little more after that.

My partner also wanted to add his piece to this essay. Quoting his message from last night:

“If I were to explain it in a short version.

We wrote a fic in which we contrasted a young Sakura with little experience in the real world, who lived her entire life being fed only by pro-konoha propaganda and we made her share time with a supposedly dead Sasori, who is without any ally but who has a lot of experience about the world. There’s not a romantic context between them initially.

We made Sakura learn from the grays of morality and reality, and from there we progressed the characters over a long time in-universe to the point where Sasori is giving space in his existence to things other than his art (because he can't practice it anymore) and Sakura is becoming a Root spy (because the Konoha tale is no longer bought by her).

And from there, the ship happens.”

Side Note #6: My boyfriend and I are working together on a BruDick fan-comic. So the BruDick fans, and DC fandom are going to have a first hand grasp of our cooperative work in English!

[wjforever]

LBFAD. Episode 1. Part 2

Part 1

Then there are the scenes in the pagoda. It would seem that this should be the most important and cool moment. The action, the rescue of ChangHeng, and, of course, introducing our main "villain". But it was this part of the episode that turned out to be the most disastrous. Everything is bad, from the plot itself to the visuals.

The Council of Immortals, of which there are a huge number, judging by what we see, in general the whole drama were a cardboards, a bunch of people who can't budge. Sometimes it seemed to me that the emperor just lost people somewhere and pretended that he still had an army, haha.

Despite the huge number of higher immortals, a weak fairy somehow got into this territory, passing through the crowd of immortals and managed to get in front of ChangHeng. Who, by the way, not only didn't react to this in any way, but also didn't recognize her dress. Just in vain Orchid preened before, the advice of friends clearly didn't help.

Interesting that ChangHeng was supposed to die, but for some reason Lanhua wasn't hurt at all. Maybe because in the process, for some unknown reason, her goddess power suddenly activated, this moment is shown to us. Although later this didn't manifest itself at all for a long time and her powers didn't protect her.

Maybe it's Dongfang Qingcang's powers. So, there are many questions, few answers. But the spirit of Dongfang for some reason just took her to himself and pulled her to the body. Did his spirit, unconsciously of course, feel that she could put his soul together? How and why his spirit broke up into separate parts, then united together again. Without the goddess, his soul couldn't seem to recover itself. This we will never know.

But you know, all these questions came to me much later, because the first time I didn't understand what was going on at all and all I could think about was the squalor of special effects. I wanted to just laugh. Don't know why, but there is a real problem with CGI when they use a dark background in the series. They can't do it at all. And it really spoils the whole impression.

Everything looked poor quality, except, perhaps, the glow above the tower.

It looks cool, doesn't it?

Flying is also a problem. When Xiao Lanhua flies clearly on some cable, her body stands out brightly, obviously cut out and poorly illuminated, it looks disastrous.

Perhaps the worst scene.

ChangHeng flew no better. In a stupid unnatural pose. Strange and ridiculous.

In addition Lanhua kept bulging her eyes and sighing. Comical and not in a good way.

Having rewatched this scene many times now, I can't overcome this feeling, although my attitude towards some things has changed. But this is done frankly badly and this very sad. Because it's one of the main scenes that could make you want to watch the drama further, but it only makes you want to turn it off and never come back to it again. The most annoying thing is that a little color correction could have at least slightly corrected this situation, but this wasn't done. I think that those who care about the picture, at this moment refused to watch this show.

And now, thinking about the events in the Cangyan Sea and the world of mortals, I clearly understand how big the difference is, how much the show has matured and showed a high level. But to get to this, you need to get through the thorns of the first episodes.

The music made things even worse. In general, the music is absolutely wonderful in this series. This is one of its main advantages. But at this point it only worsened the situation, as it turned out to be too striking a contrast with the picture. Like a child wearing his mother's shoes and dress. Because of this, everything seemed to me even more pathetic and miserable. And I'm the kind of person who rarely pays attention to the quality of special effects, shadows, details, and so on. But in this case, it was simply impossible to ignore it.

The only thing I liked was how they perform magic passes with their hands and fingers. In my opinion, it looks very cool and impressive, although it would seem quite simple from the outside, maybe even primitive. But I liked it.

Well, maybe DFCQ's eyes, illuminated by fire, also weren't bad. They never failed. Really. It's a pity that they stopped using it pretty quickly. So sad. But in such a pile of garbage it's difficult to see a few diamonds like these.

The fact that Little Orchid was drawn to his lips was also completely ridiculous.

As well as the fact that they are in some kind of space, but later the tower is just a tower. And it's hard to say what it was, where she ended up and where his spirit led her. Whether these are hidden layers in the tower or some kind of separate world of the character's soul. Don't know. Maybe I need to know this genre better to answer these questions.

The scene with the tree seemed like a fresh sip compared to the previous squalor. Although the brighter colors of the universe looked better at the end, but it was short and didn't save after an extremely negative impression. But here the translation spoiled everything for me. In my version, it wasn't signed where she ended up. So I didn't understand anything at all, why the cosmos was drawn into the tree, and then she was at the bottom of the tower. It wasn't until I got further through the story that I realized what was that. The signature that this is the ocean of the heart of DFCQ, would make this moment a little more understandable for me.

Oh, it's so beautiful.

The next scene gives me mixed feelings. After such a beautiful scene with the tree… Damn it, I love Dongfang Qingcang. Even when he is in the Lanhua's body. And I love actors because they're just amazing at body-swapping. I believe them. I can see Orchid in Dongfang, and Dongfang in Orchid. This is especially important for XLH, because the actress was often scolded and many said that she couldn't act, but it seems to me when she is Dongfang, it shows that she really can. Although at the moment with the pebble, it seemed to me that Dongfang became a little feminine, don't you think?

The moment where Dongfang Qingcang is meditating, is immediately a success after the stupid scenes with the fall. Dongfang is a masterpiece even in a woman's body. Although it's funny, after 30 thousand years of imprisonment, he took a couple more minutes to sleep, I mean meditate, of course. Haha. Or was he like a spider waiting for his prey?

But Xiao Lanhua quickly destroys this mysterious and pretentious atmosphere with her quirks. It was funny and amusing. But what confused me about this scene that I really liked? I think the problem is in the previous scenes. Where there should have been drama and tension for me was clowning. And when the picture looks normal again, you're waiting for something more intense. But you get another dose of humor.

So we haven't had time to see DFCQ yet, but he was already ridiculed. And everything would have be fine, but after not the most interesting scenes, we weren't given something that would stimulate us to look further. Therefore, everything moved further with a creak for me and I watched the next episode without much enthusiasm. We were never saw Dongfang Qingcang in all his splendor in the first episode. And you suddenly wonder if this boy can be this powerful supreme, or if what you've seen before is just good GIFs and pictures. And although I understand why it was done and it's even justified, they needed something strong for the second episode. But then the first one should have been more powerful and dynamic, and not a guidebook to the series. My name is Orchid and I am a fairy, and this is ChangHeng and he is the god of war. The series didn't interest me and Dongfang could have saved it for me, but he wasn't given a chance. Even the ending, the usual death threat, seemed weak to me.

Well, what can I say about the first episode. Before it, my expectations from the drama were average, but after it they went even lower. I was almost disappointed, I was bored, uninterested, confused and this action didn't cause a desire to understand all this. When watching the series again, it no longer caused so many dull impressions, and even jambs with special effects, I was ready to forgive it (except for the Orchid's fall, I'm sorry, lol), but it doesn't cause much interest either. This is a frankly weak episode. Because the main heroine and the good guy are too flat and banal for me to want to know the continuation of their story. I don't care, they didn't hook me. And I think this is the reason why many people twisted their faces and spoke badly about the whole drama. The first episode set the bar too low, and the first impression is notoriously hard to fix. And even though the following episodes were getting better, the audience already had a biased attitude.

Very, very sad. Because I know that if I want to get someone hooked on this drama, I will have to convince the person that this story is worth their time and that they need give a chance, because for some moments I'll be ashamed, and the person is clearly bored. Not the best acquaintance, I can tell you.

My blog on Buy me a coffee

[trensu]

Episode 13: The One where WWX’s Gaydar is Completely Nonexistent

YOU GUYS, THIS EPISODE, THIS EPISODE YOU GUYS

IT’S THE ONE WITH THAT CAVE SCENE

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

But in case you don’t know, I’M GONNA TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT

So we start off with wwx offering to carry lwj

Lwj, being the Repressed Gay that he is, flatly refuses: “how boring”

Pretty sure the thought of wwx touching him gives him vapors

Also? LWJ, You gotta come up with some new stuff; this line’s getting old

And wwx is completely immune to it by now

Wwx: *internally* such a stubborn fool!

He’s annoyed that lwj isn’t letting him help him in any way

And, like, i get that

I understand, wwx

But, WHO ARE YOU TO TALK?? MR. I’M GONNA SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR OTHERS AT ANY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY

Okay, moving along now

WE GET A PAPERMAN!! A CUTE LITTLE YELLOW PAPERMAN!! SAY HI TO THE PAPERMAN, EVERYONE, LOOK HOW ADORABLE HE IS!!

And ~Their Song~ starts playing as soon as we see the paperman appear

Wwx sends it floating over to wen qing

Paperman!wwx: plz find a way for lwj to get some rest

Actual!wwx: *hovers at lwj’s shoulder TOTALLY READY TO CATCH HIM IF HE FALLS*

WQ pulls through like a BOSS and everybody takes a break from walking near a river

Poor lwj looks so tuckered out here as he sits down on a rock

Wwx: i’ll go get you some water lan zhan! *runs off to get water*

Omg wwx, you are not subtle

LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU LAN ZHAN

LET ME LOVE YOU LAN ZHAN

LET ME TENDERLY TREAT YOUR WOUNDS LAN ZHAN

LET ME INSPIRE SOME KINKY NURSE FANTASIES LAN ZHAN

How do you not realize what you’re doing wwx. How.

Ewww, now wc is talking, double ewww, he’s talking Plot Things

Gross, now his gf JiaoJiao is talking and is annoying and unfortunately necessary for a future wangxian moment so we have to acknowledge her existence

I know it hurts guys, but i promise you it’s worth it

She’s all “alright losers, go find us that cave with the cave monster thing”

Wwx releases a talisman (no Dramatic Twirl tho) which then locates the cave

Right, the cave.

The very important cave

The cave that will give us lots of quality wangxiantics

That cave.

And now we’re in the cave!! The best cave!! I mean, it’s way bigger and way scarier than the other cave, but still! (Dancing Fairy Cave, who??)

Plot stuff happens, wc is being an asshole, nothing new or exciting here

Then we see everyone find a cliff within the cave!

Wwx: wow, that looks like a bottomless pit

Wc: let’s see if that’s true! *yeets wwx off the cliff* (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WEN CHAO)

Lwj: Wei Ying!! 

he not-quite shouts this, it’s more of a startled yelp than anything

Be grateful bc when he starts yelling his name for realsies in this show IT’S NOT GONNA BE FUN

ALSO if wc was not at the top of lwj’s shit list before, he’s definitely there now

So now that wwx confirmed that the pit is NOT bottomless, the hostages i mean visiting disciples throw down some rope and start to climb down

Uh, why didn’t they use that BEFORE chucking wwx down like a bag of trash?? Oh right bc wc is an asshole

Once they reach the bottom, lwj ALL BUT RUNS to wwx’s side

AND HELPS HIM UP!! HE GRABS HIM BY THE ARM AND HELPS HIM UP

BC HE LOVES HIM

I’m gonna give JZX a moment here bc this episode is chock full of wangxiantics and jzx was in snark-master mode

Wwx: well, i know why LWJ and JC came down to check that i wasn’t eaten by a monster, but why are you here, jzx?

Jzx: i’d rather fight an unknown monster whilst weaponless than listen to wc and jj talk for another minute

SAME, JZX, SAME

Lol, everyone is like yeah, that makes sense

More stuff happens and eventually wc and his flunkies catch up with everyone else at the bottom of the cliff and want to lure the monster out

Wc: lets bleed some of this cannon fodder as bait bc i’m an asshole

Jj: i pick mianmian

STAY AWAY FROM MIANMIAN, YOU HORRID PERSON, HOW DARE YOU

And of course everyone loves mianmian so they jump to her defense 

Now there’s a showdown between the wens and the hostages, i mean visiting disciples

LWJ IS SUCH A BADASS HERE, GUYS

HE’S TAKING PPL DOWN LEFT AND RIGHT USING ONLY TORCH WHILST INJURED 

AND HE MAKES IT LOOK SO CASUAL. DUDE’S NOT EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT

HE FREAKING SNATCHES A SWORD OUT OF A WEN FLUNKIE’S HAND LIKE NBD

While he’s doing all that, wwx is completely humiliating wen chao by reciting some of the wen clan rules

WC: stop talking shit

Wwx: uh, i just quoted the wen clan rulebook sooooo you actually just insulted your ancestors

Wwx: what did the rulebook say was the punishment for insulting the ancestors…? Oh yeah, EXECUTION. Prepare to die!!

Wwx proceeds to take wc as a visiting disciple, i mean hostage on top of a giant rock in the middle of a pond inside the cave and we’re at a standstill

It probably could’ve gone on forever except 🐢🔪🐢🔪🐢 SURPRISE MURDER TURTLE!! 🐢🔪🐢🔪🐢

THAT’S NO ROCK

IT’S A MURDER TURTLE SHELL

LWJ, being the clever boy that he is, notices that the Murder Turtle has bad eyesight

Lwj: quiet, don’t move! It can’t see us *🎶jurassic park theme plays🎶*

Maybe i should call the Murder Turtle something else. It looks more like a loch ness monster tbh

A distant cousin perhaps?

Nessie: oh, that guy? We don’t really talk to that side of the family

Murder Turtle: *is murderous*

Nessie: yeah, he makes family dinners awkward…

Ahem, anyway

Wen chao is a coward and instead of staying quiet and still like lwj says, he starts screaming like the world’s ugliest baby for wen zhuliu to save him

Murder Turtle does not like this noise coming from it’s shell so wwx and wc end up leaping off of it and landing back on shore and all hell breaks loose

In all fairness to the Murder Turtle, I too hate listening to wc

Murder Turtle starts, you know, murdering. And the hostages i mean visiting disciples don’t have weapons and the wen flunkies are awful

Shit’s happening is what i’m saying

And while all this goes down, jj shows us that she is the MOST AWFUL DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE

THERE’S A GIANT KILLER REPTILE TRYING TO EAT EVERYONE

AND SHE’S MORE CONCERNED ABOUT GETTING BACK AT MIANMIAN FOR BEING BETTER THAN HER IN EVERY WAY???

PRIORITIES MUCH??

She has two of the wen flunkies hold mianmian in place and is about to stick a wen crest branding iron on her face (WTF, JJ)

But oh, WWX TO THE RESCUE!! He shoots an arrow in jj's arm and she ends up throwing the branding iron at mianmian but wwx dives in to stop it!

(and we’re just gonna ignore how terribly fake that dive looks, okay?)

Anyway he dives and blocks the branding iron but oh no, it somehow manages to hit him square in the chest with enough force to burn through his clothes and into his skin!!! 

(we’re not gonna question this, just roll with it)

And he drops the Medicine Bottle he hid away to use on lwj eventually

(we’re gonna also ignore the fact that it somehow fell out of where it was securely hidden in his robes even tho he was literally just thrown off a cliff and the Medicine Bottle manages to stay with him and not break at the time)

(look we’re ignoring a lot of things bc we've already determined that special effects are not a high priority in this show AND all this is gonna lead up to great wangxiantics and that makes all of it worthwhile)

Okay so all that happened and then the wens FLEE LIKE THE COWARDS THEY ARE and totally ditch their hostages i mean visiting disciples

Then the bastards not only run away, but cut the ropes leading up the cliff and THEN block off the cave entrance WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU WC

The hostages i mean visiting disciples start freaking out. Like oh no, we’re stuck in here forever, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

Wwx diffuses the panic by being like, hey CANNIBALISM LOL I’M ALREADY PARTIALLY COOKED. i am a snack FOR REAL LOLOLOL

After all this, AFTER ALL THIS PLOT-ISH NONSENSE I HAD TO EXPLAIN, we get a little bit of wangxiantics. As a treat.

Mianmian is crying her heart out and apologizing profusely bc she feels bad for getting everyone trapped in this cave EVEN THO IT’S NOT HER FAULT AT ALL PLZ DON’T CRY MIANMIAN ILU

Wwx obvs agrees with me and goes to comfort her. Which he does in a weird way

Wwx: mianmian, why are you crying? I was the one that got branded! It hurts so much mianmian, won’t you stop crying and say something nice to me to make me feel better??

BUT HE SAYS THIS SO CHARMINGLY??

HE EVEN PUTS ON THE MOST ADORABLE, FAKE-HURTING FACE

If jzx had tried this, he’d have sounded like a douchebag BUT WWX? WITH HIS SUNSHINE SMILE?? HOW COULD ANYONE RESIST THAT???

(apparently mianmian can, bc she keeps crying and doesn’t say anything nice to wwx)

HERE’S THE WANGXIAN BIT

Lwj takes one look at wwx & mianmian being all cozied up to each other and you know, spilling feelings everywhere and turns away in a snit

Lwj: *internally* what am i willing to put up with today? Not fucking this.

Jc: lwj, where are you going??

Lwj: to the pond bc it has a way out not bc i can’t stomach the sight of wwx flirting with mianmian

(if you hadn’t been so proud earlier, lwj, you could’ve had wwx carrying you lovingly in his strong arms i’m just saying)

And now we get another example here at how well lwj and wwx work together

So obvs wwx zooms to lwj’s side as soon as he realizes lwj’s going somehwere without him (again!!) and he’s all “there’s a way out??”

And all lwj says in response is “maple leaves”

That’s it. Two words.

BUT WWX INSTANTLY CATCHES ON

Wwx: oh, yeah, the leaves couldn't possibly come from the cave so there must be an opening in the pond where the leaves are floating in!

THEY’RE JUST SO IN TUNE WITH EACH OTHER??

HOW DID HE GET THAT FROM JUST TWO WORDS??

THEY’RE GENIUS SOULMATES, THAT’S HOW

Now everyone’s coming up with a plan to escape the cave and the Murder Turtle

Details don’t matter here

Skipping that

Nearly everyone escapes the Murder Turtle Cave!! Because of teamwork and the buddy system!! It’s very heartwarming and inspiring AND WE DON’T CARE BC IT’S NOT WANGXIAN

But oh no, at the last minute when lwj and wwx are oh so conveniently the only ones left in the cave, the Murder Turtle notices them!!

It tries to attack wwx!!

But lwj SWOOPS IN TO GRAB HIM AND THROW HIM BACK TO SAFETY WHILE HE FACES THE MURDER TURTLE

ON A STILL INJURED LEG

AND THEN HIS DRAMATIC TWIRL OF DODGING ISN’T DRAMATIC ENOUGH AND MURDER TURTLE DOES MORE DAMAGE TO LWJ’S LEG

Wwx notices right away and goes to grab lwj and pull him to safety now

It’s nice having partners willing to share duties like that

Like, oh, you washed the dishes yesterday? I’ll do them today!

Except, you know, at a more intense level what with the whole “barely escaping the jaws of death” thing they’ve got going on

But same thing basically

So now our wonderful injured boys are in a different part of the cave that the Murder Turtle can’t reach.

Wwx: lan zhan, it’s fine now! The Murder Turtle is asleep or smth

Then shoves the tattered robes around lwj’s leg out of the way to get a better look at the wound, and he’s got his worried expression on!! WHILE ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND

Wwx: wait here!!

Lol, where do you think he’s gonna go wwx, it’s not like HIS LEG HAS BEEN MAULED AND THE ENTRYWAY IS GUARDED BY A MURDER TURTLE OR ANYTHING

Wwx comes back with a branch that he turns into a makeshift splint

HE’S TENDING HIS SOULMATE’S WOUND GUYS AHHHH

And now he steals lwj’s SACRED FOREHEAD RIBBON to tie the splint on properly

LOL LWJ’S FACE

HE IS AGHAST

Wwx: chill out about the ribbon, we have MORE PRESSING MATTERS, like how your LEG IS PROBS GONNA FALL OFF IF WE DON’T TREAT IT

Wwx: oh hey, Medicine Pouch! Wait where’s Medicine Bottle?? I saved it specifically for…*meaningful look at lwj* uh, never mind

what’s the matter, wwx?? why so shy suddenly???

are you embarrassed to show how much you think of lwj?? is that it?

OMG GUYS HERE WE GO

THE FIRST OF TWO OF THE BEST WANGXIANTICS SCENES OF THE SHOW!!

Wwx: *internally* gotta find a way to get lwj to spit out that bad blood he’s so obviously choking down

Wwx: the only possible way to accomplish this is by STRIPPING BOTH OF US OUT OF OUR CLOTHES

Wwx: hey lan zhan, take off your clothes!

Lwj: *GAY PANIC*

Lwj: you want me to what now??

Wwx: strip! Both of us! Since we’re all wet from the pond

Lwj as you might guess, does NOT start stripping in front of the Love of His Life

Wwx notices that lwj is not stripping even tho he himself has already divested his black outer robe and is clad in only his red inner robe

(AND I LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND OVER IT EVERY TIME, LOOK AT HIM WITH HIS TINY WAIST, THOSE ROBES ARE OBSCENELY FLATTERING)

Wwx reaches over and starts tugging at lwj’s robe

Lwj: WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

Wwx: BEING HELPFUL!! But i guess if you don’t want my help, i’ll finish getting myself naked

Lwj: *turns around and pukes out the bad blood from the sheer strength of his Gay Panic*

Wwx: haha! My plan worked! Now all the bad blood is out!

Lwj: oh. Right. That. 

Lwj: thanks

Wwx: noooo, don’t thank me! I can’t handle it when ppl thank me!!

After THAT PHENOMENAL STRIP TEASE, wwx goes back to tending lwj’s wounds

He applies stuff from the Medicine Pouch bc Medicine Bottle is gone forever now

He does this very carefully and is very focused on his task

BC HE LOVES HIM

I LOVE THEM

THERE’S A LOTTA LOVE HAPPENING IS WHAT I’M SAYING

Then lwj snatches a bit of the medicine and presses it into the burn on wwx’s chest

Wwx: owww, that huuurts

Lwj: you’re welcome

Lwj: *internally probably* omg i just touched wwx’s chest, be cool be cool bE COOL

Then they have this cute little exchange where wwx tells him how he got injured all the time bc he was a rambunctious tyke (no, surely not you, wwx! I’m shocked!) so he doesn’t need much medicine and lwj’s injury is more serious so he should get more medicine anyway

AND NOW WE GET TO THE OTHER BEST WANGXIANTIC

Lwj: if you know you’re gonna get hurt, don’t be so rash all the time

Wwx: it’s not like i got myself injured on purpose!!! 

Wwx: I had to protect mianmian! She’s so pretty 

(he says distractedly while staring at their campfire and COMPLETELY MISSES LWJ’S LONGING LOOK) 

Wwx: what if she’d gotten her face all scarred up?

Lwj: but now you’re scarred for life!

Wwx: that’s different!

(bc he has issues with self worth and ALWAYS RISKS HIS LIFE FOR OTHERS AT ANY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY)

Wwx: i’m a guy. Scars are cool for us!

(that too, I guess)

Wwx: besides, it’ll be a reminder of the time i saved a pretty girl who now will remember me always~!

GOD WWX YOU’RE SO DENSE

Lwj: *bitchy* oh, you’re sooo sure she’s gonna remember you, huh

Wwx gives him a wounded look, like, sincerely confused and hurt at lwj’s tone: “why are you mad?”

And, good god, lwj sees that expression and can’t keep looking at him. He has to turn away, like FUCK i’ve hurt his feelings, shit, i’m getting my feelings all over him

It’s actually kind of painful to watch, POOR LWJ

So he looks away and says: if you don’t mean it, you shouldn’t go around flirting with people

Wwx: *pouts* it’s not like i was flirting with you

THAT’S THE PROBLEM WWX

HE WANTS YOU TO FLIRT WITH  HIM AND MEAN IT, YOU COMPLETE MORON

Remember how i said wwx is dense? Here’s another example

Wwx: *teasing* ohh, you like mianmian~! 

Like, really teasing. It doesn’t sound like he believes what he’s saying either

Lwj gives him an incredulous look and we get some slo-mo here WHILE ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND THEY GAZE SOULFULLY AT EACH OTHER FOR A SOLID 10 SECONDS 

Wwx’s face gets this befuddled look and after staring at each other for 10 continuous seconds he says much more seriously, “oh...you really do like mianmian?”

Why do you sound so disappointed wwx? WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERNED ABOUT IT, HUH?

And omg guys, i will NEVER get over the expression LWJ gives him after he says this

It’s an expression that says R U FUCKING SRS RN

HIS WHOLE FACE IS SCREAMING, “FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE”

AND I’M DYING BC WWX, YOU’RE TALKING TO AN ENTIRE GAY BOY WHO IS SO IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU IDIOT

Then wwx laughs to diffuse the situation (it’s so cute, my heart bursts with rainbows)

And we’re winding down now

Lwj: why should i talk about these meaningless things with you here?

Wwx: you don’t have a choice pal, it’s just you and me stuck here in this cave

Wwx: hey, lan zhan, i think this is the longest conversation we’ve had!!

Omg why’s he keeping track of that? How did he even notice this??

THERE’S NO STRAIGHT EXPLANATION FOR THIS BEHAVIOR

WWX: even after all we’ve been thru, you still don’t talk much. You lan clan types--

*awkward silence*

Wwx realizes he’s stepped in it and taps his mouth as a reprimand for being insensitive

Then he changes the topic about how long they can survive without food/water and how long it will take for help to arrive

And here we have lwj verbally acknowledge what’s happened to him for the first time

He explains that they won’t get help from gusu

Lwj: the cloud recesses has been burned. Uncle is badly injured, brother is missing.

His tone is so matter-of-fact but HE ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO CRY!!

OH GOD MY HEART 💔💔💔

And then lwj is like, welp, that’s enough Emotions for the day! And falls asleep.

THEN WWX TUCKS HIM IN WITH HIS OUTER ROBE ALL GENTLE AND LOVINGLY

BC THEY’RE SOULMATES

And that's the end of the episode

SO MUCH QUALITY WANGXIANTICS GUYS

I LOVE THIS SHOW

EVERYTHING IS GREAT (I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR THE HEARTBREAKING PARTS)

LOOK AT THESE TWO SOULMATES IN LOVE, LOOK AT THEM

Return to Masterpost

[danwhobrowses]

10 Things that would’ve Improved the Game of Thrones Final Season (For Me)

So it came to my attention that recently it was the First Anniversary of the Final Episode of HBO’s ‘Game of Thrones’. I was taken back to my memory of the BinGOT thing we had at work where we all made predictions of who lived, died and ‘won’ from the last ep (I was in 2nd or 3rd place). And since my mother has started binging it during quarantine I thought in the spirit of that environment I’d discuss a little what I would’ve changed in the final season.

Spoilers for Game of Thrones Season 8 Below, if you haven’t watched it then you’re better off not reading this frankly, if you haven’t been spoiled already at least.

So for starters, the final episode is not the worst tv I’ve ever seen, it just was a sloppy final season in general that really didn’t satisfy the 2 years of hype waiting for it, it’s like with the How I Met Your Mother finale, but that annoyance being more than one episode. But without further ado here are 10 things I would’ve changed about the final season Note: Most will involve the finale. The first 2 episodes were great.

10 - Ten Episodes The Long Night was 1 episode, the LONG NIGHT. A Culmination of the army of living and dead confined into one episode. One of the main problems with the final season was that the pacing was a bit rushed, it made character progression seem unnatural and dropped long-built plot points like water through a sieve. With 10 episodes, which was not a big ask given that this was the usual number and the gravitas of it being the final season would easily allow it to be green lit. D&D immediately backed themselves into a corner by giving a limit they weren’t used to and too much content to put in.

9 - Bite of the Spider Varys’ death was an upsetting start of the penultimate episode, while I would’ve loved him to have survived start to end and potentially ended on top (because he’s never shown to be as cunning or dangerous as he is in the books) there was some sense in him dying. However, Varys was shown sending a letter before his arrest and that never came back up, the finale could’ve used this by revealing to the public Jon’s true heritage, which would’ve immediately undermined Dany’s claim and set up a better conflict. Also we never knew what the voice in the flames said to him...

8 - A More Fitting Long Night While everyone probably popped hard for Arya killing the Night King, myself included, the nature of it was rather abrupt. I don’t think anyone can buy that she sneaked past that entire army. I do feel like the Night King was just a MacGuffin for the Long Night, given that he did so little in the actual fight. This is where a multi-part Long Night would’ve been key as well, going from the Night King being immune to Dragonfire to dying a bit later was not a good pace, and we lacked any conflict with Jon like we teased twice, Arya probably wasn’t the most poetic person to kill him either but GoT seldom did poetic deaths (Joffrey, Cersei, Euron). While the Long Night had exemplary deaths like Theon, Lyanna, Jorah and Beric, the Night King fell among the ranks of Melisandre and Edd in terms of meh deaths. The Long Night should’ve been a bigger bloodbath than it was, half the Dothraki somehow survived remember, we didn’t get to see Ghost fight at all either, no giant spiders, a lot of the tension was lost with the way some fight scenes were filmed; it was too easy to read between the lines and not enough characters had any true ‘oh god this person could die’ scenes.

7 - Resolution for the Characters we didn’t See and Plots unresolved With so much funding and finality in the show, there felt like there could’ve been more stuff that could’ve been resolved; what was the Quaith’s prophecy about? What really happened with the Doom of Valyria? Why does Dragonglass and Valyrian steel kill White Walkers? What is Daario doing after Dany died? Were the Faceless Men really that okay with letting Arya wander around knowing their skillset? Nobody hired them to help in the war either. What happened to the remnants of that warlock dude who stole the baby dragons, they sent one scorpion and that’s it, what happens with the Little Birds now that they’re leaderless? Who was Azor Ahai? What were the spirals about? There are a lot of questions the show kinda just, ignored. 

6 - The Mad Queen So, Dany going from ‘I’ll stop if they surrender’ to ‘Burn them fucking all’ was abrupt for many, the majority of fans were not ready or willing to accept turning on their Kaleesi in just one episode. While I could see the conclusion coming from being jumped, losing another ‘child’ and her closest friend as well as her new boyfriend being her nephew and a legitimate threat to her legitimacy despite already pledging fealty, Dany’s descent could’ve used more time, and less naivety.  While the death of the dragon was a huge shock, the idiocy fell on Dany in thinking that Cersei would play fair and wouldn’t try to occupy Dragonstone while she abandoned it. There also fell inconsistency when the same fleet and rows of Scorpion crossbows suddenly got Stormtrooper aim during ‘The Bells’. Euron is a renowned sailor, he ruined a Dornish fleet in a previous season, he may be an annoying bastard but you have to treat his naval tactics with a bit more respect - and make Dany less stupid with Cersei doing Cersei things. A lot of people definitely needed more time in buying the idea that Dany had lost her cool and that she blamed all of Westeros to justify burning everyone unashamedly.

5 - Proper Redemption We all know who we’re talking about. Jaime, Jaime, Jaime. In the end he just proved Olenna’s point didn’t he? And his turn away from redemption was only to serve as an example point for Tyrion to use to convince Jon to kill Dany. Jaime didn’t have to live, but he didn’t have to die rushing to Cersei’s rescue, or even due to Euron stabbing him. If anything Jaime should’ve died with some Honour, to be the inverse of Ned as he was presented in Season 1.

4 - My Lady does not have to mean M’Lady This is probably the most selfish ones of my 10 but as a shipper at my very heart and soul I wanted one, at least one, ship to survive this entire turmoil and Gendry and Arya were that couple. We almost had it as well, but then for some mad reason D&D decided that Gendry, despite literally saying that “none of it will be worthwhile if you’re not with me”, stayed in Storm’s End. Arya’s character endgame was right in her venturing off not being bound by the fact that she’s a noble, but Gendry spent a lot of time not caring that he was of Kingsblood to basically being his Father’s son. He’ll rule Storm’s End, marry some woman to have kids, but he’ll still have fallen into the same pit as King Robert did. It would’ve been much more satisfying and hopeful if Gendry abandoned the titles and land he never wanted or needed to accompany someone he loves and who loves him back on an adventure into the unknown. She’s not a ‘lady’ if she’s only marrying a blacksmith and love is the death of duty.

3 - Sansa is NOT Smart (and gets what she actually deserves) Right. So I really, really didn’t like Sansa. Like, I get it, she got held hostage by the Lannisters, watched her father get beheaded, got accused of murder, learned that her brother and mother died, watched the guy who fancied her mother and kissed her kill her aunt and then got effectively sold to an abuser in an arranged marriage. But Sansa is not the smartest player in the game, it was annoying that they tried to portray her as one, she had one idea that anyone could’ve told you ‘don’t be stupid against Ramsay Bolton’. She spent all of Season 8 mainly giving side eye like a petty bitch, completely trying to undermine Dany despite the two being very very similar (remember Dany was raped, sold off in an arranged marriage and watched family members get killed too) to the point where she was conspiring for Jon to usurp her. And in reality she took her ball and left, she was so pissy that the leaders didn’t pick her to be Queen of Westeros that she literally pointed out her own brother’s infertility, claimed that the North wouldn’t bow to a monarch, then declared herself Queen.  Hide the ‘Yas Queen’ goggles for a sec, this wasn’t empowering she was throwing her own brother under the bus because she wanted to be queen, and she learned far too much from Littlefinger and Cersei’s playbook to actually be a just one. The North is allowed to be an independent nation, but Sansa’s ‘victory’ was more earned by virtue of a lot of shit happened to her than her actually demonstrating qualities to be queen.

2 - Bran Stark can’t come to the Phone right now... While we’re on the subject of Stark children not being fit rulers, Bran. What a cockamamie decision that was. I was 100% behind the destruction of the Iron Throne, but the chorus of laughter with a democratic rule was a bit of a slap in the face. Of all the choices though, Bran had to be near the bottom, it felt completely unearned that he spent literal seasons disconnecting from the world even to the point where he told Meera and Sam that Bran Stark is no longer here anymore only for Bran Stark to magically resurface when a crown is in waiting. I think it defeats the whole Three Eyed Raven thing too, the guy isn’t really one for the people, which is the problem every other ruler before him failed at. If you can’t pick a just person to lead, then why not a council instead? Just using Bran was a poor and messy decision.

1 - THE MOTHERFUCKING VALONQUAR One of the few expectations across all of Game of Thrones was the wondering over whether Cersei was gonna get what’s coming to her, the Maggy the Frog prophecy was going along quite well up until the Valonquar bit, where the younger sibling that was going to choke the life out of her was: bricks. BRICKS! Of all the long-winded prophecy foreshadowings to drop this one was the worst, Cersei (and Jaime) died in underwhelming, thoughtless fashion, the lack of fanfare on killing off one of the best and most ‘love to hate’ villains in the show only cemented the fact that the finale was not able to live up to the hype. True, most of these are small changes, but it’s worth remembering that there was some good coming out of the final season and it was the lack of those little things and attention to detail that led to the season ending on an underwhelming note.

We did however get a good ton of memes out of it, and at work a long-winded discussion on who should get the ‘winner’ 5-points (compared to the 1 correct points) since we had technically agreed that the 5 points goes to “whoever correctly guesses who sits on the Iron Throne” XD I still can’t believe I was right in Drogon melting the throne though that was one in a million

[goingoverthegardenwall]

Chapter 3: Schooltown Follies

Since there have been stories, there have been stories that anthropomorphize animals. Folks have imagined creatures behaving as humans in every corner of the world, in myths and fables and fairy tales from ancient cultures to today. So by the turn of the 20th century, when a mycologist known for painting incredibly detailed images of fungus decided to instead write and illustrate stories about animals in contemporary clothes, it wasn’t exactly a new idea. But perhaps that makes it more impressive: despite the multitude of animal books for children that have been published in the last hundred and fifty years, the work of Beatrix Potter still stands out.

She’s not alone, of course: no good conversation about humanized animals in Western kid lit can last long without mentioning Richard Scarry or Margaret Wise Brown or Arnold Lobel. And Peter Rabbit’s extended family is quite British, which puts it at odds with the nostalgic Americana of Over the Garden Wall: it’s not for nothing that our assortment of animals in Schooltown Follies includes a raccoon and an opossum. But the timeless quality of Potter’s work is still felt in this episode in two ways. First, while the show has a cartoony lens, the school animals are far more anatomically accurate than Beatrice or the frogs of Lullaby in Frogland, evoking Potter’s signature field guide style. And second, there’s a mischief to Potter’s animals that makes them feel more like real children than the cute but bland residents of Scarry’s Busytown, and mischief is the name of the game when Greg comes to schooltown.

Schooltown Follies is full of clever tricks, but perhaps its most clever is introducing animals with human qualities (they wear clothes, play instruments, and walk on their hind legs) but not giving them voices. It’s generally great comedy fuel, showing the inherent ridiculousness of a school for sorta normal animals, but it more importantly allows the episode a silent movie feel, with plenty of physical humor enhanced by characters without dialogue. That style completes the episode’s subversion of Beatrix Potter’s oeuvre: she wrote stories about naughty animals learning that they should behave, but in this vaudeville version, the only way to save the day is by misbehaving.

“Then I’ll do what I need to do, I guess.”

Despite being one of our three main characters, Greg trades a full character arc for a comic relief role. At the beginning of Over the Garden Wall he’s a chatty kid who never gives up and loves fun, and at the end he’s a chatty kid who never gives up and loves fun. This doesn’t mean he’s fully static, as he matures enough to accept some responsibility to others instead of seeking entertainment for himself: he abandons a potential happy ending to try to save Wirt with the Beast, and returns his stolen Rock Facts Rock in the last shot of the series. But even this obligation to help out is present early on: Schooltown Follies is the first of his two focus episodes, and the foundation of his eventual heroism is established right here.

And frankly? I think it’s okay if he’s not that dynamic. Greg doesn’t change as much as Wirt or Beatrice because he doesn’t have nearly as much to overcome, and he still contributes to the show without forcing the crew to juggle three distinct arcs. Our older kids are on a shorter timer to grow up, and have clearer negative traits (Wirt’s got no confidence, Beatrice is a jerk), and while we can accuse Greg of lacking social cues, he’s so young that it’s not indicative of a larger problem. He’s just acting his age, albeit in a heightened way for entertainment, and to lose that innocence this early in his life would make this show a serious downer.

“Heightened” is the general mood of Schooltown Follies, where Greg’s less realistic behavior fits much better than The Old Grist Mill’s bottom-of-the-barrel aside. This is an episode where Two Old Cat, an old-timey bat-and-ball game that evokes a similar old-school era as our old school, involves searching for actual old cats, somehow finding them immediately, then realizing one is too old to play and must instead be taken care of by a raccoon in a newsboy cap and overalls.

While there’s plenty of humor to go around in Over the Garden Wall, this is the only fully silly episode. Our other lighthearted outings come with dark twists: Songs of the Dark Lantern introduces the Beast, Lullaby in Frogland reveals Adelaide, and Babes in the Wood turns out to be the most somber episode of the series with context. Here we almost get a parody of such a twist, with characters repeatedly mentioning a wild gorilla on the loose apropos of nothing, then revealing that the gorilla is Miss Langtree’s paramour trapped in a suit. It’s a ridiculous setup to a ridiculous punchline, aided by casting Thomas Lennon for a few lines of dialogue (his read for “I. Was. The gorilla” was worth every penny), so there’s never any sense of danger. Jimmy Brown and Enoch are equally harmless in the end, but I doubt any little kids watching are gonna get nightmares about the ape suit.

This mood is enhanced with song, but among the many musical moments in the series—Mad Love is the only episode without singing in some form—Schooltown Follies stands out by not letting any of the numbers finish. We begin and end the episode in song, but Greg doesn’t have the last lines for Adelaide Parade figured out, Langtree’s Lament faces numerous interruptions before being cut short by the bell (they actually did a full version though!), and Potatoes and Molasses gets stopped first by Mr. Langtree, then by the end credits. Even Miss Langtree’s piano rendition of last episode’s Patient is the Night halts when Greg mashes the keys. It’s the perfect atmosphere for an episode about a kid who loves fun, but is easily distracted and hasn’t developed good planning skills.

Which isn’t to say that Greg is dumb, but that he’s prone to winging it in a way that sets him apart from Wirt. While Wirt rambles his thoughts aloud, Greg takes action without telling anyone why, making his decisions appear random in a medium that often explains motives concretely to young viewers. Wandering in his own direction has become a running gag by now, and while he sets off to make the world a better place, he instead plays outside with animal truants. He’s jolted back to his quest by the bland food and dull atmosphere of lunch hour, and his irrepressible energy lightens everybody’s day without much effort. When Mr. Langtree steps in as an antagonist, Greg decides once again to do something about it, this time saying explicitly that he has no plan, but everything works out again. We get an excellent joke from his decision to rob Langtree right after he becomes sympathetic, but as usual, Greg has bigger ideas behind the humor that he just hasn’t articulated. 

While Greg is busy delightfully saving the day, Wirt and Beatrice ease into a sniping side story that establishes their relationship for the next few episodes. They got off on the wrong foot in The Old Grist Mill and twisted that ankle in Hard Times at the Huskin’ Bee, so by now Beatrice doesn’t even try to hide her disdain and Wirt gets fed up with it. This is the perfect type of subplot, one that develops our characters and fits into the theme of the episode—Wirt’s rebellious obedience bounces off Greg’s rebellious call to disobey—but doesn’t distract from the main story.

Beatrice is helpful in opening up Wirt’s snotty side in a way that allows us to cheer for him. Until now his biggest conversation partner has been Greg, and it’s tough to side with Wirt when he’s mean to Greg, but Beatrice is an equal in terms of sparring, and her rudeness is a more understandable motive for Wirt to be obstinate than Greg’s playfulness. Our last episode had him aimlessly suggest staying in Pottsfield, and he’s similarly bound to this new location, but his different attitude changes the entire story. After two episodes of dithering, it’s nice that they let Elijah Wood play a character who’s funny on purpose for a spell, reveling in annoying Beatrice.

And even though he doesn’t know what to do, we actually get our first heroic moment from Wirt here. Greg saved the day in Grist Mill, and the situation resolves without much issue in Hard Times, but Jimmy is saved from the gorilla costume because of Wirt. True, he only interferes after being commanded to by Mr. Langtree, and he clearly has no idea what to do, and he trips over his shoelaces rather than contribute in an intentional way, but it sets the stage for his rescue of Beatrice in our next episode. Deep down, when he’s not overthinking it, the kid is capable of bravery when it’s asked of him. And it’s wonderful that for all his differences from Greg, both share an impulsive approach to heroism when they decide to help others. It’s almost like they’re related.

Beyond getting a few good digs in at Wirt, Beatrice extends her meanness to Miss Langtree, which makes her pestering of the boys feel less personal: it’s not that she hates them, she’s irritable with everyone. But we also get the first hint of her warming to our heroes, letting Greg have his fun at the concert and telling Wirt to finally tie his shoes with just a tiny speckle of fondness. While she gets a bigger friendship moment in Mad Love, when she’s essentially forced to get to know Wirt better, it’s neat to see Beatrice gradually come around instead of flipping a switch after a major story event.

We’re about to get our next big Plot Episode, introducing the Beast and adding new doubts about the Woodsman, so a silly episode is just what we need. It’s our third in a row where something sinister turns out to be okay: obviously the gorilla is an example of this, but Mr. Langtree is similarly an intimidating presence who ends up being a regular man. Even the creepy squirrels from the opening shots of the Unknown’s dangers in The Old Grist Mill return as comic relief. We’re fully primed to look for goodness where we see wickedness. Just in time for us to learn to fear merry opera echoing from the woods.

Rock Factsheet

Greg’s spiel on hot dogs might not summon the Rock Fact Rock, but it certainly evokes the stone’s spirit.

Where have we come, and where shall we end?

Adelaide Parade and Potatoes and Molasses will both get dark reprises, and the former also gets the rare jolly reprise as well. But we unfortunately don’t get a harrowing future scene featuring Langtree’s Lament.

Two Old Cat is part of a list of bat-and-ball games mentioned by a rambling background teen in The Unknown.

[vfdarkness]

S1E8 Queen of Cups - Transcript

INTRO

Dark Ambient Drone.

RYDER

You're with your child at the neighborhood playground. All the children stop playing and silently form a circle. One steps behind the rest, runs around them, and tags your child. All then lock arms with one another. Your child solemnly steps into the circle. In a bright flash, they disappear.

A beat.

RYDER

You need my help.

AVFD music fades in.

RYDER

This is A Voice From Darkness.

ACT I

AVFD music fades out.

RYDER

Hello, this is Dr. Malcolm Ryder, parapsychologist. Here as always to answer your paranormal questions, warn you of strange events unfolding, and take your calls regarding the most dire of circumstances. That said, we already have a caller on the line. Someone I'm surprised to hear from, to be honest, as this person is an old acquaintance of mine whom I haven't spoken with in years. They claim to have something I want. We'll find out what that is together in the second half of our show. First though, we go to National Alerts.

National Alerts music fades in.

RYDER

National Alerts. This alert is for Fairhope, Alabama.

For the past four nights windows and doors have disappeared from homes and buildings across the town. I do not mean to suggest they’re being stolen. No. The doors and windows of Fairhope are literally disappearing - leaving behind walls with no method of entry. Or escape. In all cases, the fire dept has arrived - broken through the walls to rescue those trapped inside. But in each case there are no living persons. Only the mummified remains of former Fairhope residents. The city council advises sleeping outdoors until the cause of this anomaly is discovered. So if you’re in Fairhope, Alabama - please be careful when indoors.

National Alerts music fades out.

RYDER

That is the only National Alert for the week. Onward to Quick Questions. Do you have a question you’d like me to answer? Feel free to write to us at avoicefromdarkness@gmail.com or tweet us @vfdarkness. That’s avoicefromdarkness@gmail.com or tweet @vfdarkness. Our first question comes to us via email from Grey: Dr. Ryder, they write. I’m still in school and recently when walking down the hallway, I turned the corner to another hall and it was empty. Deserted. But it was the middle of the day - between classes - there should’ve been dozens of students. I had to get to my next class so I rushed to where I thought I was supposed to be. I got to the classroom door and was about to go in, but the woman standing at the front - her hair was a different color and style than my teacher’s. She was staring at the back of the room. All the students were lined up, with their noses to the wall. Confused, I wasn’t sure what to do. I was supposed to have a class there.

At least I thought I was. One of the students turned my direction - glanced at me - but quickly turned back to the wall - now shaking with fear. The teacher told the students: “Do not look at the door. Do not look at her. She’ll go away soon. She’ll leave us alone. She won’t hurt us this time if we don’t look at her. She never stays more than a few minutes. Don’t worry.” I ran. Back down the hall around the corner. And I was safe - in a normal hallway - a hallway in my school. Dr. Ryder, what happened to me? Where did I go? The teacher made it sound like I’ve been there before. But I haven’t. What does this all mean? What do I do?

A beat.

RYDER

Grey, I’m afraid you’ve found yourself in a complicated situation. You're likely stumbling into an alternate reality - one that bears some superficial similarities to ours, but is otherwise quite different. Especially with how time flows there. Now I could give you a dozen different home remedies that’re supposed to prevent transversing realities - like carrying a broken pocket watch in your left pocket - but frankly these solutions never work. The best advice I can give is when you find yourself in this alternate place - and I'm sorry but you likely will find yourself there at least a few more times - don’t stay more than a few minutes. And try not to harm the students there. Sometime in their past - your future - you’ll inevitably do something to scare them. There’s nothing you can do about it - Alea iacta est: the die is cast. As many as six thousand Americans a year slip into an alternate reality either temporarily or permanently - most likely without even realizing it.

This is how we get phenomena such as the Mandela effect. It's rarely a fatal condition. I'm sure you'll come out on the other end just fine.

A beat.

RYDER

I’m afraid that’s the only question we have time for today. Shortly we’ll hear from our caller on the line who claims to have something I want. We’ll find out what that is after Today in Odd America.

TODAY IN ODD AMERICA

TIOA music fades in.

RYDER

Today in Odd America we find ourselves in Andover, Massachusetts. There on this day in 1962 the sexually-transmitted language of Vlin ceased to exist. The first known speaker of Vlin dates back to the Battle of Stones River in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. A woman, described as having olive skin tone and raven black hair appeared at the Union encampment on December 31st, 1862. A young officer, Captain James Vlin took her back to his tent that evening. The next morning he was incapable of speaking English. The woman’s name is unknown to this day. James Vlin shot her the morning of January 1st. She was buried in an unmarked grave. It’s unclear if she was the original speaker, and patient zero of the sexually-transmitted language, or if she too was merely a victim.

A beat.

Captain James Vlin was unable to communicate in any known language through spoken word or writing. Everything he said aloud was alien to those who heard him.

Everything he wrote - indecipherable. He was sent back North after the battle, examined by doctors. Through one of the Union doctors, Daniel Foster, we have the first attempt at creating a Vlin alphabet. According to Dr. Foster’s journal, he worked with James Vlin for weeks in an attempt to cure or understand him. He failed at both efforts. James Vlin was sent back to his family in Massachusetts.

A beat.

RYDER

He became prone to emotional outbursts when attempting to communicate with his family. Either angry or bursting into tears when they were unable to understand anything beyond his most simple wants. Journal entries and letters from his family at that period tell of their extended efforts to reteach him English or to learn his new language. All attempts failed.

Four months after his arrival back home, the family’s maid lost her ability to speak English. She too could now only speak in the sexually-transmitted language. James Vlin’s spirits rose during this time, though the Vlin family found themselves mired in scandal. It was unclear if James had forced himself on the maid, a woman named Stephanie Sanders, or if she’d gone to him willingly.

A beat.

RYDER

A small house was built on the far lot of the Vlin estate. James and Stephanie were wed and moved into their new home. A year later they had their first child. Less than ten months after the birth, the child could seemingly speak basic words of the sexually-transmitted language. Though it never did learn English. None of the eight children James and Stephanie had did.

The children, and parents, became regular research subjects at Harvard. Linguists, medical doctors, biologists all attempted to discover why the parents lost the ability to understand any language but Vlin, and why the children were incapable of learning any language but it.

Research papers and books were written about the Vlin family, but no answer was discovered. After several years of study, academics and the public lost interest in the strange linguistic phenomenon.

That is, until 1894 when an outbreak of the language occurred in Boston. Over the course of a four month period over 300 men and a few dozen women lost their ability to speak or read English, but gained the ability to understand Vlin.

The cause of the outbreak was traced back to Mary and Rebecca Vlin. Daughters of James and Stephanie. Both women were in their thirties, thought to be unwedable by the English-speaking side of the family. They disappeared from the Vlin estate sometime in the early 1890s. A judge found them guilty of both prostitution and willfully spreading a disease. For the latter crime, they were sentenced to death.

A beat.

RYDER

All the new speakers of Vlin were forcibly removed from their homes in Boston and relocated to land in the town of Andover. High walls and armed guards were posted around the area. No official records corroborate this, however it’s widely believed those inside the community were castrated to further prevent the spread of Vlin. The shelters in the Andover community were of terrible quality. Not able to keep rain or wind fully out.

All those inside the walls were reliant on a single well for fresh water.

Journalists and academics were discouraged from further reporting on the language of Vlin and the Andover community. In one case, a journalist at the Boston Herald who attempted to write on their harsh living conditions was found dead in a hotel room with two bullet holes in the back of his head. His death ruled a suicide.

A beat.

RYDER

The subject of Vlin died out nationally until the outbreak of the first world war. In 1917, Patrick Baker - a Catholic theologian and pacifist gave a speech where he stated his belief that the language of Vlin was the original tongue man spoke before the fall of the tower of Babel and God had finally forgiven mankind. He believed God wanted all people to become infected with the language to better understand one another and to come together in world peace.

Baker was denounced by the Catholic Church and imprisoned under the Espionage Act of 1917 for speaking out against the war. This had a dampening effect on anyone else speaking out in favor of those infected with the language.

A beat.

RYDER

During the second world war, comparisons were made between Andover and the Japanese internment camps. Still, nothing further was done to help the Andover community.

A beat.

RYDER

What happened to the speakers of Vlin between the end of the second world war and the early sixties is a mystery. Many journals written in Vlin exist but remain untranslated. All we know for sure is that every speaker of the language died of either disease, old age, or other causes during that period. Until finally, on this day in 1962 the last speaker of Vlin passed away.

The language disappeared from the earth just shy of being a century old. Despite the work of scholars and doctors, not a single word has been translated to this day. Conspiracy theorists believe the government preserved the language by freezing bodily fluids from members of the Andover community. And so it might be possible some day another outbreak occurs - perhaps even at the global level. Contrary to this view, some theologians now accept the Baker heresy and believe God gave us one chance to again be united with a single language, and we rejected this gift. I do not hold either belief myself, but do think it’s tragic when a language leaves the world. With it goes an ephemeral piece of humanity that we likely cannot ever get back.

A beat.

RYDER

Now back to our main show.

ACT II

TIOA music fades out.

RYDER

And we're back. On the line we have an old acquaintance of mine. Someone I'm surprised to hear from, to be honest.

ALEC

And I'm surprised you took my call, Malcolm. Figured you'd forgotten about old Alec Byrd.

RYDER

You said you have something I want. I'm curious what that is.

ALEC

My last year at Ravenswood - there was a time we drank at the Queen of Cups: you, me, most of the old crew. Do you remember?

RYDER

We went there many times. You'd have to be more specific. But, Alec, I'm not interested in talking about drinking stories from college. Why did you call?

ALEC

Context is key, Malcolm. I'll tell you what I have. But I want you to understand why I have it.

RYDER

Fine. Go on.

ALEC

This time at the Queen - five of us were there. You, Sonja, Charlotte, me, and Julian. Normally we'd all only stay for a few rounds, joke about something stupid we heard an undergrad say or try to out know-it-all each another. This particular time though - we asked each other the one question we'd all avoided. Do you remember what that was?

A beat.

RYDER

What are you afraid of?

ALEC

It's so funny - all of us were studying the supernatural. In a sense - studying the greatest cause of fear. Talking about it in dry, technical, academic terms.

Completely refusing to engage with this deep, primal emotion on any personal level. Well... everyone except Julian. But look what happened to him?

RYDER

What do you have that I want, Alec? I swear if you only called into my show to-

ALEC

(interrupts)

That story you told the other week about your grandad and his shadow. About how when you were a boy and he cut off his shadow... and it came at you. You told the four of us that same story that night at the Queen. Said shadows still spooked you. Gave you nightmares.

RYDER

Yes, it was a traumatic event from my childhood. These sorts of things hold a power over us even as we age.

ALEC

A few months after that night you had me kicked out of Ravenswood. I'd exaggerated some research-

RYDER

You fabricated results - giving credence to a false method of removing ghosts from a haunted place. If your made-up data had been taken seriously by anyone - people would've been hurt.

ALEC

It wasn't false. I just. Just embellished a bit. I had to otherwise I would have lost my fellowship. Not that that really mattered in the end. You ratted me out.

RYDER

I made sure no one got hurt from your false claims. Alec, what do you have that I want?

ALEC

Your granddad's shadow knife.

RYDER

How? That's impossible. He never would've entrusted something so dangerous to you.

Alec laughs.

ALEC

I'm sorry. It's just funny, right? You deal with, with... the unwelcome riders, cities that appear out of nowhere, so many ACTUALLY impossible things. But old Alec Byrd possessing you granddad's knife strains the credulity of Doctor Malcolm Ryder.

RYDER

Why do you have the knife?

ALEC

Duncan Ryder was one of my favorite professors. It would've been rude of me to leave the island without saying goodbye. During that final visit, he left me alone in his study while he got us drinks. In that moment, I admitted to myself why I was truly there: to steal the knife. To then use it to take vengeance against you. I was partially successful.

RYDER

You intended on cutting your shadow off and having it attack me?

ALEC

My plan... well, there was no plan. None of this was thought out.

A beat.

ALEC

I should've listened better to your story. The great Duncan Ryder couldn't control his shadow for more than a few minutes after he'd cut it from himself. It morphed, changed shape into something monsterous.

I don't know what made me think I'd have better results. I cut my shadow off in one of the courtyards on campus. Told it to go find you. I didn't say to kill you. I don't think I did. Not that it mattered. Thirty seconds after I severed it, it stopped listening. Stealthed away into the darkness of the night.

RYDER

How did you get it back?

ALEC

I didn't. For nearly twenty years now, I've walked this world without a shadow. Don't get me wrong, I tried to get it back. Stayed a few days longer on Mackinaw than I intended. After a while though, they wouldn't let me on university grounds.

RYDER

You could have told someone. Anyone. Any of us - even if you were furious at me - Charlotte, Sonja, they would have helped you. You could have gone back to my grandfather.

ALEC

Are you even thinking that through? I was the grad student they just kicked out. And what, I go back not a week later and tell them I practiced some ancient form of black magic I didn't even understand? To scare - or possibly kill - the student who turned me in? No. I didn't tell anyone. And when I wasn't allowed back on school grounds... that was that. I went to other libraries in other parts of the country, dark arts practitioners. Did research. No such luck though. As I said, going on twenty years - no such luck.

RYDER

Why come forward now?

ALEC

I've run out of time. Julian's after me. He knows I have the knife and he wants it. I don't know what for. But I need your help, Malcolm.  I need protection. Can you meet me on the island - at the Queen of Cups - in two days?

RYDER

Bring the knife. Return it to me. And I'll be there.

ALEC

I don't want that evil little thing. It's all yours. See you in a few days.

Phone click.

A beat.

RYDER

All right, that is all the time we have for tonight. And I have some travel arrangements to make. But remember, if you're experiencing anything paranormal, supernatural, otherworldly - please feel free to call in-

AVFD outro music fades in.

RYDER

Next time, on A Voice From Darkness.

[ithinkthingsaboutstuff]

Little Boy Blue (5)

midvale AU part 4

Karadox- AU of the 3x06 e.p of supergirl, in which Brainy (teen Brainy) arrives in Midvale around the e.p timeline. this is part 5 where Kara tells Brainy about Kenny in his rescue.

The morning had taken an interesting turn for Kara. For one thing Kal had left Querl his friend from the future to stay with them, for her foreseeable future. Alex was not happy about it, not one bit.

But Kara had another problem to deal with. When Kara dragged Querl into her house last night she was not alone. Kenny Lee her long time friend and someone who was very new to the concept of dragging unconscious, blue, teen-aged aliens around town in the middle of the night had been with her. 

She did not know what to do about this because 

Kenny didn’t know Kara was an alien. 

Eliza and Alex didn’t know Kara snack out to see Kenny last night.

and Querl didn’t know that Kenny was very distracted because Querl is in fact blue.

So what was Kara to do. She could simply not tell anyone anything but that was not in Kara’s nature to do. She did tell Kenny that she would update him on Querl’s situation so that she could do no problem. the real problem was the lies she was already telling. Kenny didn’t know about her so how could she explain why Eliza was ok with having Querl in her home and why Alex is not freaking out or telling anyone.

What Kara wanted to do was come clean to Kenny about everything, something she had been wanting to do for a while now but in all honestly she was to scared to do so. Not because she thinks Kenny would tell anyone her secrets but rather she has been lying to him for so long that she knows that it would destroy the only real friendship she had and she knows she would deserve it.

The truth of the matter is that she has to go to Eliza and figure out her next move with her. But she doesn't have to do that right way, besides there is someone else who has the right to know. Kara was walking around the house and she found Querl with his eyes closed and his hands together. He still looked uneasy he had been like that since just before Kal left that morning.

‘Hey, Querl?’

‘Yes Supergirl.’

He did not open his eyes, Kara paused.

‘Umm, it’s just Kara.’

Querl opened his eyes but did not look at her.

‘Yes, your right, Kara.’

 ‘Is it alright if i talk to you.’

‘Your already talking to me.’

‘Ok, can I keep talking to you.’

This time he did look at her, as if he had never been asked that before.

‘I can’t see why not.’

‘I have to tell you something, it’s about, last night.’

‘Yes.’

‘There was someone else there with me, helping you, I thought you should know.’

‘I see, are they trustworthy.’

‘I think so,’

‘Ok then, is that all.’

‘Don’t you want to know more?’

‘They were willing to help me and you trust them, so I can’t see what else matters in this equation.’

Kara was surprised at this considering how uneasy he looked, and how clam he was bout another person a stranger knowing that he was here.

‘Your not, mad or unset.’

‘No, why would i be.’

‘because I didn’t tell you sooner.’

‘You told me now. there would have been little difference if you told me last night, you told me what i needed to know before it became an unknown variable, I can’t ask anything more then that,’

‘so your saying if i had waited longer then you would have been unset.’

‘No, I’m saying there is a differences between not saying something and hiding something,’ 

‘But i still should have said something to you by now.’

Kara saw him ponder this for a moment,

‘No, you shouldn’t have, information principles have in the most basic terms four stages, protection, quality, modelling and management. First stage, You kept that information safe until you where able to trust me with it. Seconded stage, you made sure to let me ask questions therefor allowing me to address my concerns with the information directly. Thus leading you into the third stage, I asked your opinion on the nature of this person and you gave me your perspiration. And finally the fact you told me at all shows that you can and will disclose information when it is needed and appropriate to do so. There is nothing wrong with caution, especially when it comes to things others may not understand, permitted they even need to know at all.’

This strangely put Kara at ease.

‘I guess your right, thank you.’

‘Don’t thank me for facts.’ 

They sat in silence for a moment 

‘Kenny Lee.’

‘What?’

‘His names Kenny Lee and he’s my friend.’

‘I’m lucky you have such a friend.’

‘so am I.’

as the silence filled the room again Alex came in with Kara’s school bag and tossed it at her.

‘come on Mom���s giving us a ride.’

‘Ok. We’ll see you after school Querl, we can talk more.’

‘I would like that, I will be here,’

Alex looked over to him.

‘Just don’t leave the house today and shut the blinds we don’t want anyone to see you, and if you get yourself court on the first day alone your going to be black and bluer.’ 

‘Alex, leave him alone this hard for him too.’

‘I know, but that is not going to mean anything if we all get taken by the military as criminals is it. Just don’t do anything stupid’  

‘I never do anything stupid.’

‘Like crash spaceship outside of a small town.’

Querl looked at the ground as he swallowed his tongue. Kara frowned at Alex but she just rolled her eyes, the two girl's then went on to have the quietest car ride of there lives. 

When the girl’s got to school classes had already started so Kara would have to wait until lunch to talk to Kenny. he was waiting by her locker nervous and fidgeting if they had been anywhere other than a high-school this would have raised suspicions. Kara went to Kenny as if she were on a mission because in a way she was, she had made up her mind,

she was going to tell him everything.  

The two of them didn’t say a word to each other, they had a look of understanding it read not here. the two went outside on the bleachers in a place were the wind was strong and the noise wouldn’t carry so only they could hear what the other was saying.

‘Kara, what the hell happened last night?’

‘We help someone who needed it, I guess’

‘Are they ok.’

‘Yes, and his name is Querl by the way.’

‘Wow, so is he...’

‘An Alien... from Colu.’

‘Wow and there all....Blue.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Wow, Wow, what’s going to happen now.’

Kara knew that this was it the opening she was looking for if she was going to tell he now was the time.

‘Kenny,’

‘Yeah.’

‘I have to tell you something, I waited to tell you for a long time now and I feel if i keep it any longer it’s going to be an unknown variable.’

‘What?’

‘oh, um Querl...not important, I,I,I have to tell you I’m, like him.’

‘What?’

‘I’M AN ALIEN, Kenny I’m from Krypton, I’ve only been on earth for 2 years,’

 ‘I know.’

‘I wanted to tell you sooner and I feel horrible and..... did you say you know.’

‘I knew about the alien part, the 2 years and Krypton part i did not know.’

‘How? When?What?’

‘My telescope picked up a...well you, flying around.’

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’

‘I don’t know, why didn’t you?’

‘I wanted to, but I was told that keeping the secret was for the best, not just for me about everyone around me.’

‘Ok so why tell me now.’

‘I mean all things consider you took what happened last night really well and I didn’t want to lie anymore, besides Querl and I are going to need as many friends as we can get.’

‘So he’s staying...around here.’

‘Yeah, for the time being. So why did you say anything, not even to me’

‘I, well, didn’t want to scare you off or something, and I didn’t want to lose my only friend around here, and I figured if you wanted me to know you’d tell me...and you did....yeah’

Kara could not hide her smile, this mess had turned into a revelation she no longer had to keep things from Kenny, she was going to help Querl find his feet and Kal trusted her to do something important, take care of his friend. Kara’s could feel her cheeks glowing and her heart humming and she wrapped her arms around Kenny like when she was first able to cuddle streaky.

‘Thank you Kenny you’re the best,’

‘no problem.’

his voice creaked and they both giggled. She then stood to leave the bleachers. 

‘Do you want to meet Querl after school,’

‘Yeah, I’d like to see him when he’s awake.’      

‘Cool.’

the rest of Kara’s day just flew by not even History Class could slow her down. she then meet Kenny, and they headed to her house. 

When they arrived to the door Kara could hear banging and clanging of metal she and Kenny looked at each other as they went inside. They saw Querl in the kitchen, he was pulling out draws and tossing away things after he inspected them.  

‘Querl, what are you doing?’

‘I’m looking for parts.’

He did not look up at her.

‘Querl, Could you stop for a second.’

he paused and looked over to her, he then looked Kenny right in the eyes, Kenny jumped a little.

‘Your Kenny Lee, yes’

‘Yes.’

‘Good, thank you for your assistants last night, sup...Kara says your her friend.’

‘Yeah, i am and it’s good to see your, ok and talking and stuff’

‘eloquently put Mr lee.’ 

‘Kenny’s fine.’

they just looked at one another, and Kara did not care how awkward it was, her worlds were colliding and she could not be happier.

‘What the HELL is going on.’

or so she thought, Alex had just gotten home. 

to be continued 

[icharchivist]

Oh no I agree w/you on not being hard on fans who think differently. One of the reasons I like fan discussions is to read other people's thoughts and try to understand where the ones I disagree w/are coming from. That's just my personal view and reading of the character. I think lately the stress has been getting to Chaoji so he's extra harsh and that's going to be unattractive to Allen's friends. I also think he's wording things the wrong way. It'd be better if he said I'll fight the Noah -

2 instead of I'll fight Allen or telling Allen's friends to forget about him. In this way Chaoji is, whether he means to or not, making it sound like Allen is JUST a Noah. Which.... Is actually a interesting thought. What does the average person think how a Noah works? Does he think Allen is 100% gone now? *shrugs* Either way agree to disagree on some parts. I have no probs w/fans so forgive me if it sounded I was harsh to them. I was just naming of groups I saw and thought it was interesting.

Ahh alright, sorry then for the lecture! it’s fine, don’t worry now that it’s cleared up. 

I think i’m getting a little paranoid of some fandom arguments? especially when it starts to involve how some fans react to some controversial events. Bigger fandoms have been so filled with dramas (there had been a lot of push back against people liking not pure uwu characters that i get defensive at the idea of judging how someone may approach a controversial character they may like) i tend to end up having red flags over silly things i would probably have used myself a few years back. 

Your argument was fine, and honestly pretty mild in that term, i guess i’ve just had seen enough more virulent argument to be a little.. *alarms bells* upon reading some vague keywords. 

So my point is, my bad, i’ve got a little defensive there and judged your ask too harshly. I apologize.

Now back to the topic, yeah agreed on Chaoji. I honestly think Chaoji doesn’t know what details makes a Noah? I mean, the Order didn’t know before Road made her introduction and the Bookmen had to explain to them a few things. No one knows what it is like to turn into a Noah, no one knows about the awakened memories, and hell, the 14th is already a specific sort of Noah (i say it with all the love, but Nea isn’t a Noah Memory like Joyd is, he’s a parasite inside Allen’s body: his own being, not a memory that awoke in Allen, so even that when you know Noah’s development logic, is weird)

Chaoji didn’t become an exorcist until after the Ark’s arc and no one had any reasons too explain to that random crew man who was just helping carrying Lenalee around what little secrets they had learn about the Noah. So I think Chaoji still sees them as “they control the Akuma, they are rotten to the core, and once they turn there’s no come back”, perhaps projecting what he knows of the Akuma (which in which case is true, once an akuma, the only thing you can do is kill them with innocence for salvation - no attempt to really save them. Which makes me think, Chaoji did know Chomesuke- i think he wasn’t developped enough to have a reaction to him, but the fact Chomesuke had to destroy himself bc he couldn’t resist to its nature anymore might have added to this argument that there is no salvation for Dark Matter). 

For Chaoji I really don’t think he had the time to know about Noah stuff, and everything we know about how Noah comes to be come from Noah’s POV, so not something the Order may know, let alone a stubborn exorcist who hates them by principle. Allen tends to extend his compassion to non-humans because in a way... if he had seen Mana as non human the moment he would have turned him as an Akuma i think Allen couldn’t have stand it. (also i ended up mixing up with FMA but that reminded me of how Ed refused to kill the armor guys in the Lab 5 even when they kept saying they weren’t human anymore, because if he did so it would just imply that his brother isn’t human either and that it’s his fault that it is like that. I think the same reasoning can be applied to Allen @ the Akuma and extend to the Noah as long as the Noah are on the “side” of the Akuma. Ironically though considering “Mana” ended up becoming a Noah. Well. Always was, but you get my point)

Meanwhile the only strong feeling we’ve seen from an exorcist @ the Noah for being a Noah, was Kanda saying that since they are humans (which Skinn repeated) then they could be killed. Which i personally always took as a reassurance on Kanda’s part of reclaiming his own humanity and Alma’s, since they were denied it as kids and perhaps the only thing that, after all the horrors Alma had done, that made him human was that Kanda could kill him. Kanda asserting the Noah’s humanity in order to convince himself that death is part of humanity would, if i’m correct, be a sort of projection to protect that memory and identity, the same way Allen projects on others. 

But for the others, Lenalee had never hesitated around the Noah, even upon meeting Road, she quickly fought back. Lavi has a bad experience with Noah but he’s neutral enough to care more about what Allen wants in the end (when Allen wants to rescue Tyki the whole thing is about “the guys at the Order will look badly at it but if you think it’s important...” and not “why you do want to rescue the guy i wanted to kill a few hours ago”)Then there’s mainly Krory with the twins (and Lenalee to an extend) and I think there was too much irritation going on about them being brats more than them being Noah that went on there. 

But from Chaoji’s point of view who knew nothing about them, had spent his life hating the dark matter for taking what he loved, he saw.... Well Tyki playing with Lavi’s grief and threatening Lenalee, before trapping them in the Ark and trying to kill Allen, he’s seen Skinn  attack everyone and they then left Kanda behind with him, he’s been here a huge chuck of the Jasdebi fight just to see the Twins being Absolute Disaster Making You Lose Faith In Anything They Ever Represent (And It Happens To Be The Noah This Time) (did i ever mention that i love those stupid twins? I love them. They’re so dumb.), Road destroying Lavi’s mind and torturing Allen into forcing him to destroy Lavi, and finally the Lullubel attack on the Order that killed a huge amount of people. And if we extend the timeline to when he could have caught up his next meeting with the Noah in the Alma arc made him KO, kidnapped Lavi and Bookman who are now thought dead, and Fiidora’s parasites tortured him when he was powerless to save Lavi and Bookman, which might add some feeling of guilt there by the by. 

Without understanding of the Noah he just saw... the sheer destruction they brought along with them.

So Allen saying “I might become a Noah and you will have to kill me” - well I think seeing how horrible the Noah had been up to this point was enough for Chaoji to think that if Allen became one, it would override all of the good qualities Allen had. After all he has never seen the Noah before they became Noah.

Tbh It makes me even wonder if being introducted to Tyki in his human form (and Road to her human form as well but it’s more minor than how they befriended Tyki before that) may have made more possible for Allen to want to try to see that humanity. Because he saw this humanity with how Tyki behaved with his friends. More than just... hearing about “Oh apparently he has friends” that Chaoji would have heard from Allen, Lavi and Krory’s reaction upon meeting Tyki again. 

In a way, the fact Krory also has this association adding to how much he cares for Allen to relativise the way “becoming a Noah” might affect Allen - in a way Chaoji cannot. Because Krory saw Tyki having seemingly meaningful friendships with humans so, becoming a Noah wouldn’t come out as completely monstruous for him a way someone who just know the Noah might. (that, and also how his love for Eliade was serious and might make him more willing to believe in that humanity, even if Eliade told him in the end that she was just using him. Krory didn’t know she was lying - but he might hold on to that feeling).

So adding to all of Chaoji’s unchecked prejudice, there is this complete unknown over people he had only known as cruel. He has never seen their humanity the way Lavi, Krory, Kanda and Allen has. Then again yeah it doesn’t excuse anything because Miranda and Lenalee for exemple are in the same situation having suffered first hand from tortures from, well, Road for exemple, but trusting Allen above all while just as much in the dark. Even if depending how much the infos Bookman gave came to Miranda and Lenalee before Chaoji joined the Exorcist Group.

So that ended up being a lot of rambling dkjhfd but my point is that therefore, Allen is the one to see the humanity of the Noah the most, Krory and Lavi has reason to at least know personally Tyki’s human side to doubt how the Noah’s cruelty works, Kanda had had how he met with Skinn to approach it, else every exorcists before Chaoji was recruited might have heard a bit from Bookman but that’s it. Any other sort of acknowledging this humanity would come with trusting Allen. Which Chaoji doesn’t. 

And no one knows what “becoming a Noah” is like. And while Chaoji wasn’t there and i’m certain Lveille lied, but Allen did have a swift change of behavior and personality at least twice in the Alma’s arc for everyone to see (when talking to the Earl + when Kanda stabbed him). Even Johnny saw that. A second hand retelling could just convince Chaoji “well perhaps he had no control and it doesn’t matter what kind of person he was - once a Noah, you become a monster” and that could be enough.

That was a lot of ramble i’m so sorry dkjhfd but yeah. It’s a mess. 

And it’s just... there’s no way Chaoji can know. All he could do would be to trust Allen. Even seeking for answers isn’t exactly a position Chaoji is in, even if it would be preferable if he did question what he thought so far (like the others do) rather than just thinking “yup, he’s a goner, i’ll fight him”

if that makes any sense kdjhfd

idk Chaoji’s perspective is kinda fascinating to me. I dislike that he has it and doesn’t question it, but it’s fascinating to see how being emotionally disconnected from every elements we have ended up caring about can make someone like this. It really shows the price of emotional investment for me to see how Chaoji behave. He’s kinda the Counter-audience in that regard. And that’s what makes him fascinating, for as much as i dislike him as a person ahah. 

[jaimelannisterthings]

GoT 5x04 || PoV: Jaime Lannister

“That would have been a shit way to die.”

Jaime tugged a glove over his right hand with his left, wondering vaguely to himself if he’d given Bronn the impression that he never removed the prosthetic. The blonde preferred not to wear it when he slept, given the material holding it to his arm, no matter how quality, irritated his skin. Less convenient still, sleeping with it in certain positions tended to set the translucent flesh aflame as it had been in the first days. The knight had spent enough time with it on for more tender skin to toughen against it, but that merely made it tolerable, not comfortable, “As well as I’ve seen, they’re all shit ways to die.”

“Aye, but your lot like to give the singers a good ending.”

While likely his annoyance stemmed more from the struggle to adjust his glove correctly—his skill with the process had dramatically improved since the initial attempt, but still remained slow—than from Bronn’s words, Jaime remarked lowly, “I don’t care what’s sung about me when I’m dead.” When they sang about him after his death, Jaime severely doubted they would say anything kind.

“No?” Bronn handed him a stick of crisped snake corpse, which seemed less than appetizing, but options were limited, “Two knights off to rescue a princess; sounds like a good song to me.”

“Sounds like all the rest,” Jaime muttered as he considered the snake, eventually driving the stick into the sand. No, he couldn’t make himself eat the damn thing. In the brief silence, he wondered if Bronn understood such a song wasn’t meant for Jaime Lannister. Bronn? Perhaps, yes. But Jaime? It did not matter if he rescued a hundred princesses or vanquished a thousand foes. Kingslayer. Oathbreaker. Man without honor. These words made for a far better tale, would entice more coin.

Jaime decidedly would not linger on the notion, “What about you? What shit way would you choose?”

“In my own keep, drinking my own wine, watching my sons grovel for my fortune.”

How incredibly normal, really. Was that not the life Jaime had promised him? A castle, a wife, children. That was Bronn’s dream, then. Not saving princesses, not being the knight in shining armor, but growing old by his own design, “How disappointing.” His eyes attempted to make contact with Bronn’s, trying to read him, “I thought you’d have something more exciting planned.” Pausing a moment to really consider him, though, Jaime came to the conclusion the idea should not have surprised him.

“I’ve had an exciting life. I want my death to be boring.” That made sense. “How would you want to go?”

“In the arms of the woman I love,” Jaime responded, the question one he needed not ponder himself. There were nights chained he spent considering how he would imagine Cersei when the men Robb Stark commanded finally broke orders and murdered him. Men who hated him would not defend him forever. Of all the possibilities, he liked best to simply imagine her holding him in her arms until the end. The blonde came into this world grasping at her. It seemed only right he would leave it in her embrace.

“She want the same thing?”

Jaime stared at him, words taking time to sink in. Cersei and he had their troubles, but would she leave him to die without the comfort of her touch? Surely not. Why, then, did he pause and wonder? Why, then, did the question seem to only have one answer? No, no she wouldn’t, “Let’s go.”

They—mostly Bronn—packed up what little they had to, kicked out the fire, mapped out their direction, and began on their way. The entire time, Jaime found himself distracted with Bronn’s final question at the fire, preoccupied with why he hadn’t immediately been able to provide an affirmative answer.

“The captain of that ship—what was he, Braavosi?”

“Pentoshi,” Jaime corrected. Cersei loved him, yes. As he loved her? Was that possible anymore?

“And he’s headed to Old Town?”

“As I said,” Jaime confirmed, rather wishing Bronn would just let him think in silence. Then, Bronn didn’t ask questions just to hear his own voice. He likely had a point, “Why?”

“What’s to stop him from ducking down the coast and telling the locals that Jaime Lannister’s in Dorne?”

Nothing, really. “A bag of gold.”

“I’m not sure you understand how much people hate your family in this part of the world.”

“It was a heavy bag.”

Then, it suddenly donned on him. People hated his family. Always, people would hate his family. Him, Cersei, Tyrion, Tywin—first names made no difference. Everyone in the entire world could loathe he and Cersei, and it would not matter. They needed only each other. If Jaime were dying, Cersei would not merely hold him in her arms. She would do anything and everything in her power to prevent his passing, forbid him from abandoning her in this horrible world just as he would her. No matter how they treated each other, no matter how they may act and react, they were the only ones who mattered.

“And I bet he swore all kinds of oaths to get it, but you won’t be around if he breaks them.” And who would feel guilty breaking an oath made to Jaime Lannister, the oathbreaker himself? The sentiment didn’t matter to him now, his realization regarding Cersei lifting his spirits.

As if on cue, the sounds of horses began and drew nearer. Taking cover, Jaime peeked at the horsemen.

“How many you count?”

“Four.” Not a horrible threat, but not a simple number.

“How many do you think you can take?”

Bronn knew his abilities, by now. He’d been the one to develop them. They were beyond feigned confidence at this point, Jaime unashamedly honest, “One—“ The blonde nearly scoffed. One? Jaime Lannister, doubting he could take on just one armed horseman. There had been a time—no, no. There was no time to dwell on his past abilities. As Bronn said, unless Jaime intended to grow his hand back, what reason was there to speak as if he might? “—if he’s slow.”

The riders noticed their marks in the sand, “Fucked in the ass.” As always. Bronn stood and Jaime followed suit, allowing him to lead. If they ended up fighting, after all, their survival mostly depended on Bronn, “Morning lads. Glad we found you.”

“Who are you?”

“Cooper.” The name didn’t suit Bronn, in Jaime’s opinion. “This is Darnelle.” The Lannister hoped to the gods that name didn’t suit him either. Should he say something?

“You’re from King’s Landing.”

“Accent gave me away? Flea Bottom, whelped and whipped.” No, best to let Bronn keep speaking.

“Why are you here?” Why, indeed? His eyes drifted to Bronn.

“Our ship capsized in the night. We managed to swim ashore. It’s a near thing, really.”

“Thought the sharks would get us.” Did he honestly just say that? Were there even— “There are no sharks in Dorne.” —no, there weren’t. Jaime didn’t need to so much as glance at Bronn to know the expression on the man’s face, a smirk finding its way across the blonde’s features, unable to hide his amusement with the imagined look, “Could have sworn those were shark fins.”

At which point he finally looked to Bronn, “Dolphins maybe.” It was endearing, really, how Bronn tried to patch up his missteps. He may have died earlier today already without him.

“Throw your sword in the sand.” He may still die today, Jaime mused. Given Bronn would be doing most of the fighting, Jaime would wait for him to make the first move. He’d not engaged in true combat since losing his hand, and while he wanted to pretend to be confident, that had not worked well on every occasion. How could he flagrantly risk abandoning Cersei to this world?

“Boys, there’s no need for this. Just point us in the right direction; we’ll find our way home.”

“Swords in the sand! Now!” Clearly, they rightfully did not believe them. Perhaps it was the sharks? Jaime exchanged a glance with Bronn, placing his hand on his sword as if to follow their commands as Bronn gave affirmation with a light nod of his head. For but a moment Jaime found himself surprised his right-hand man did send his sword into the sand, but this proved to be only for show as Bronn took out one of the men with a dagger throw straight through the neck. The second fell less than a minute after, stabbed where he sat upon his horse before managing to establish proper footing. A third charged at him upon his steed, blade raised, but Bronn aimed for the horse, the animal’s scream sending the horseman sprawling to the ground.

Jaime felt the confidence draining from him with each passing second, but Bronn merely gestured with his sword to the rider pushing himself to his feet, “That one should be slow enough.”

Taking his stance, the Lannister attempted to ease his nerves. As his opponent approached, Jaime’s face settled, drawing an air of confidence around himself even if only for show, as if to reassure himself. Right hand or no, he was still Jaime Lannister. If he had become too tentative to fight, then he may as well renounce his name and never return to King’s Landing at all. Cersei mayn’t want him dead, may forbid him to die, but if he existed as Jaime Lannister only in memory, was he not dead already?

Blow after blow, the blonde managed himself rather well. Bronn deserved credit, not that the man would receive it. A sudden punch to the face midblock sent Jaime sprawling to the ground, barely avoiding a sword through his chest by rolling away, and then waterfalling down the side of the ledge of sand he’d apparently been atop of. Every strike sent him back to his knees, the leverage the horseless horseman had being at a higher position on the hill overpowering. A particularly decent swipe sent Jaime’s sword flying from his left hand, landing somewhere unknown as his opponent raised his sword to deliver a final blow.

The adrenaline was wicked, his heart pounding painfully in his chest, lungs tight, unable to draw in enough oxygen. His life flashed before his eyes—his sister primarily—when a resounding thunk caught his attention. In his desperation, Jaime had wrapped his fingers around the man’s blade when it came crashing upon him. Only, they had stopped the blade. While his mind registered fingers of flesh, the truth of the relatively hollowed gilded steel had ensnared the blade.

His eyes scanned for his lost sword, reaching and grabbing it quickly enough to drive it directly through the rider’s heart before the man had the chance to release his weapon. He growled as his foot kicked the body down the hill, forcing the other’s grip on the sword still embedded in his hand to release.

“Nice move.” The voice reached Jaime, but it seemed to come from far away. He shifted his gaze back to the top of the hill, where Bronn now stood. The danger had passed, and so the adrenaline trickled away, leaving pain in its wake. Jaime breathed heavily, fighting not to let the agony show. There was no skin and bone, no flesh for the sword to have driven into. The immense pain, the unfortunately familiar burning sensation in the invisible hand simply could not exist. Whether or not he was losing his mind, Jaime decidedly kept such concerns to himself, “Luck.”

“You had a wonderful teacher.” Bronn turned and walked off. As he did, Jaime realize just how embedded the sword was in the metal of his hand. Possibly broke into the hollow, if he had to guess. Not overly likely, though, given the steel beneath the gold. He shook at the lodged weapon for several seconds before finally kicking it off with his foot, considering how long he might go before surveying the damage done to the material. Jaime didn’t wish to augment the now intense burning sensation with the sight of damaged gold flesh.

“Always wanted a Dornish stallion.” The pain plagued him as he forced himself to climb the hill, taking one step at a time, “Beasts can run a day and night without tiring." His eyes now and again drifted to the sliced glove, the glint of burning metal underneath peeking out at him, “We’ll ride to the Water Gardens—" This had happened before, both at the onset and here and there ever after, but never had it been this intense. He toyed with the notion that the blow to his prosthetic, and therefore to the stump, had induced the sensation, “—with a nice breeze in our face.” Only, how could it have? Then, would not only the stump hurt? Why—no, how could air burn like fire upon nonexistent skin?

Bronn’s words weighed heavily on him, Jaime making an excuse not to begin riding immediately, “First we need to bury these bodies.” The blonde could not ride now, not this moment, not with the burning, not when the jostling may only make it worse. Would that he lacked the shame to simply tell him and remove his hand, but he did not have it in himself to allow for it.

“Birds have to eat too.”

Jaime would rather come off as an ass than as genuinely compromised, “Corpses raise questions.” This was not untrue. “Questions raise armies.” Jaime might even convince himself of the need for it, speaking like this. “We’re not here to start a war.”

“Do you know how long it will take us to dig all those holes?” Digging would be worse than riding. Jaime had covered up his agony thus far, what would another step do? In truth, he appreciated Bronn immensely, but he needed time alone to attempt to manage this pain.

“I can’t dig very well with one hand,” Jaime stated, careful to look directly at Bronn as he spoke, “Not at all, really.” The words lacked any trace of amusement, of teasing or taunting. The Lannister couldn’t even bring himself to offer a smirk, a grin, whatever he attempted more pained than sincere. He turned away and walked off a few steps to discourage disagreement.

Bronn either understood the circumstances or accepted Jaime was in fact that much of an asshole. Either way, it bought the blonde some much needed time to recollect himself.

@wineinthewidow [As requested <3] @thesellsword [I tag you because I thought of you the whole damn time.]

[timeless-season-four]

Episode Recap: Chinatown, Part 2

Welcome to our first episode recap! @only-freakin-sunflowers has us covered with her thoughts on the season premiere, and we hope to have her take appearing every Tuesday as we go forward....

Welcome back, Clockblockers! At this point, our dedication is only matched by our Time Team’s to get Rufus back. Us too, guys, us too. And I am putting back on my mustard-stained cheerleading shoes for the first time in three years to gab about my favourite time travellers and to bring you a recap of what went down in our very first episode of what looks like a very captivating season. (Thanks, Hilary!)

Before we go anywhere new with our team this season, we’re situated a little ways before we left off: back in 1888, with an unfortunately dead Rufus. And Jiya, holding him, and Wyatt. It’s agonizing. We find out why they left him there, which satisfied me, because I wondered why they didn’t just haul him home for a funeral. But they can’t do that. They can’t take more than 4 people in the Lifeboat, even if one’s dead. And, also, they’re being shot at and they gotta run.

And then you realize it’s all just someone’s nightmarish flashback. And that the opening credits haven’t even rolled and you’re already on the edge of your seat. (No, there was no time to get up and make popcorn, not yet).

Next, we find ourselves where we actually left off: in our lovely little bunker with Bearded Wyatt and Bobbed Lucy and… whatever that ship is they came here in, and wherever it is they came from. I have to admit, while it was frustrating that future!Lyatt can’t tell us much, when Lara Croft – I’m sorry, Lucy– told our team that they have to save Rufus, because “everything depends on it”, I cracked a big grin. THEN SHE SAID THE TIMELINE IS COLLAPSING? (Oh look, if it isn’t the consequences of their own actions.)

Although we can blame a lot on Emma, as in, almost everything bad– that one, maybe not (although, now that I think about it… not Emma per se, but Rittenhouse….). We find Emma strutting into a Rittenhouse boardroom meeting like the power boss she is (hating her and admiring her aren’t mutually exclusive), where we, and she, meet Mike Temple. He wants to take Rittenhouse to new, quite frankly scary heights. His visions of bringing Rittenhouse into the present, with things such as a Rittenhouse app and flashy advertising, make me shudder. And I think that’s the point. "America is Rittenhouse, Rittenhouse is America,” he says. Oh, Mike Temple, you are unfortunate but true, aren’t you?

There are two scenes of future!Lyatt having really profound conversations with their past selves, AND the first one starts off with them acknowledging The Beard and the fact that Lucy looks like Lara Croft. Wyatt isn’t too happy with the situation, overall, he’s too macho for therapy (as a student currently in a clinical counselling course, *shakes head*) And Flynn referring to future!Wyatt as “Wild Wild Wyatt,” I cracked up. Now while it won’t come till much later in the episode, I’ll skip ahead. Future!Lucy and current Lucy’s conversation had to be one of my favourite scenes of the episode. The way she tells her younger self, "I’m proud of you, you know. You’ve already been so brave. So strong.” Ugh, my heart. Lucy needed that, and she needs a hug. Our poor girl is so broken and she just, she needed that.

Anyway, finally, the mission to #SaveRufus. It seems to be straightforward, right? What can go wrong except everything, right? They know how to pre-program the Lifeboat, so they don’t need a pilot. They have a plan. They have Flynn, and they have Wyatt, and they have… Connor. We have the best “ragtag rescue team” we could ask for. What can go wrong except everything?  Well first of all, no one accounted for a Little Not-Red Riding Hood to appear out of literally nowhere and shift the atmosphere. Not to mention, she brings potions with her! Hocus Pocus, she saves Rufus?! I have a theory on this mysterious mage, but I’ll hold my tongue (also, everyone, please give a warm welcome to Tiera Skovbye as our new young blonde heroine, Jane). Does anyone else have guesses about who she may be, or how she got there? I’d love to hear them. And, the guys didn’t exactly account for weird time continuum shifts, being spotted, or not being able to get home. This mission may have been stressful for them but it was stressful for us too, “YOU’RE TOO LATE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE TOO LATE?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE STUCK, YOU CAN’T BE STUCK, GET UNSTUCK!” But our super smart little chickadee Jiya saved their asses, even if she was going through something funky back in the bunker (uh, not to mention grief). Something funky back in the bunker, like the girls experiencing some unsettled memory loss as the timeline changes and leaves them behind. That’s some scary shit.

Back on that discussion Lara Croft and Lucy had, that I touched on earlier. Lara cared to share that the reason Rufus’ salvation was so dire was not only because duh he’s the backbone and pilot of the team, Wyatt and Lucy’s best friend, Connor’s pseudo-son, and the love of Jiya’s life, but because his big brain is the one to stop the timeline from becoming one big split end and splintering off in an unknown amount of unpredictable directions. But that wasn’t the most unsettling thing Lara Croft said (before we continue here– I’m calling her Lara Croft because, hello, but that haircut actually really suits her.) And then there was that other thing she slipped in, when she starts talking about Lucy’s car accident in college, and “the second time, it wasn’t an accident.” Pardon me, Lara? And then she just– poof, into thin air, gone. At least she left on a high note, I suppose.

I will admit, I faded toward the end of the episode, not because of a quality drop, but because I got a headache and backache and a case of the Sunday Scaries. BUT, what gave me LIFE– that #RiyaReunion. Ohhh my Godddd (yes, I just said that like Janice from Friends) it was everything I hoped it would be and more– cleared my skin, watered my crops... I might’ve shed a tear (maybe it’s allergy season, maybe it’s Rufus and Jiya). Now I’ll admit I’m a damn sucker for them, but isn’t everyone?

One last thing that stuck with me, amongst others, was when Rufus was walking down the hall in his PJs, with the flickering fluorescents. This experience is not going to go gently in that good night, it is not going to pass without its repercussions. As it shouldn’t. This is a big freakin’ deal. What they are doing, is a big freakin deal, and what we, as Clockblockers, have done is a big freakin deal. A big props to everyone who is still here and will continue to be here. Catch another episode of Timeless Season 3– coined by the masterful, ever impressive Hilary @qqueenofhades– next Sunday at 8pm EST, and another one of these reviews to follow shortly after! (If you want to come talk about the episode with me, you can find me on Tumblr @only-freakin-sunflowers. You can also find me on AO3,  @only_freakin_donuts!)

(One actual LAST thing I have to mention because somehow I never found space for it in my ramble… Flynn reading Harry Potter to his daughter?! COMING FOR MY HEART.)

[singledarkshade]

Under The Sea

Part Four

The deep blue he could see filled Rip with an odd sense of calm, one he only really experienced when he had first seen the temporal zone. He glanced to the side and saw Gideon watching just as amazed. This was a new experience for her also. It was nice to see her emotional capabilities clearly on display in this form. Gideon had always been unusual but it was only with him that she showed how different she truly was to the other AIs.

“Rip,” Kate spoke up after a few minutes, “You can swim, can’t you?”

He saw Tim and Miguel trying to stop their laughter, “Aren’t we so deep that the pressure would crush us?”

She nodded, “But there is always a possibility of needing to swim under here.”

“I can swim,” Rip replied, “I learned when I was six. I was thrown into a lake and left to fend for myself.”

The two men turned and Tim asked, “So literally sink or swim?”

Rip nodded.

“Who would throw a six-year-old into a lake and leave him?” Miguel asked horrified.

Shrugging Rip replied, “Someone looking to distract the police. Luckily I’d seen someone swimming once, so I mimicked the motions and managed to stay afloat until I was rescued.”

“That is horrible,” Tim noted.

“I hope you got him back,” Kate said.

Rip chuckled, “Let’s just say the police stumbled across him not long after that when he was unconscious.”

He turned seeing Kate grinning at him, amusement glinting in her eyes.

The Launch suddenly jerked, distracting them from their conversation and Rip frowned seeing Tim’s hands tighten on the controls. Reaching out to grip the handle beside him Rip grimaced, he could see the instruments bouncing up and down.

“Not good,” Tim grimaced, struggling to hold the launch on course.

“What’s wrong?” Kate demanded.

He winced, “Something’s caught us. I think it might be the forcefield the shard is emitting.”

“Can you wrench us out of it?” Kate asked.

Tim shook his head.

“Different frequency,” Rip spoke up, “If we can create an energy shield around the launch that has the same frequency to the shard, even for a few seconds, it might let us free ourselves.”

Kate removed her restraints, “Come with me,” she said before jumping down into the back section of the launch.

Rip followed her seeing Kate remove a panel from the bulkhead, he found some tools sitting at the side and studied the wiring before him as she moved further back and opened another one.

“Can you do it?” she called back.

Rip nodded, “No problem.”

“Captain,” Gideon said softly in his ear, “Be careful. If you push it too far you could electrify the launch.”

“Thanks, Gideon,” he muttered as he worked, “Your faith in me is touching.”

Rewiring the system he glanced over when Kate called his name.

“Ready?” she asked.

Rip nodded.

Kate climbed up the ladder again, “Tim, how are we doing?”

“Hurry up,” Tim replied, as he fought to hold the launch steady.

“Rip,” Kate turned to him, “Push the button on three, two…you’d better hold onto something, one.”

Hitting the switch Rip grabbed onto a handle holding on tightly as the launch suddenly started to dive. He lost his grip when they were thrown to one side and slammed into the bulkhead hearing Gideon call his name before blackness.

                                  *********************************************

  “Where are they?” Nathan demanded, “Have we heard anything from them?”

Tony grimaced from communications, “Nothing yet, sir.”

“Lucas?”

“I’m following their trail, Captain,” Lucas replied, “But the energy from Rip’s shard is distorting all readings.”

Nathan swore under his breath, it was almost an hour since he’d heard from his people after they received a quick message saying that they were in trouble. He trusted those three implicitly. They were his best people and when the three of them worked together they could do anything. But their guest was an unknown quality in all of this and Nathan was beginning to get concerned. Hearing noise from the pool he turned

“Darwin,” he walked to the dolphin and hit the vocorder, “I can’t let you out. We’re too deep.”

“Hunter friend,” Darwin told him, “Not bad.”

Nathan stroked his friend’s head, “You’re telling me I shouldn’t be worried about our guest?”

Darwin nodded.

“And I should be focussing on other concerns,” he chuckled when Darwin splashed him and nodded, “Thank you, my friend.”

Turning back to watch his people on the bridge Nathan walked over to the communications station, “Mr Piccolo, contact Kingsman and ask them for a status update. I want to know if they’ve found any changes to the barrier?”

“Yes, Sir,” Piccolo replied.

Motioning over to his second in command Nathan moved him back so they could talk in private without worrying the rest of the bridge crew.

“Have you heard anything from the other launches?” Nathan asked.

Jonathan grimaced, “Not yet. Dr Smith says she sensed panic before nothing else. She’s sure they’re alive but can’t give us anything else.”

Nathan sighed.

“Captain, we both know how good the three of them are on their own,” Jonathan reminded him, “Two of them working together can do anything. The three of them together…”

Nodding Nathan smiled, “Can do anything.”

“We’ll find them,” Jonathan said with conviction.

                                  *********************************************

  Rip stumbled back to consciousness finding Gideon leaning over him worriedly.

“Captain?” she asked.

“What happened?” Rip sighed, rubbing his hand across his eyes.

Gideon shrugged, “You hit your head.”

“That bit I know,” he forced himself to sit up, looking round he saw the three members of the Seaquest crew all looking a little worse for wear.

Tim had a large cut along his forehead which Kate was tending to while Miguel was on the radio trying to contact someone.

“Good you’re awake,” Kate said glancing round and finding him sitting up, “Are you okay?”

Rip shrugged, “I’ve been better. You?”

“We’re all a little banged up,” she replied, “Tim got the worst of it since he was driving.”

Climbing up to join them he grimaced seeing they had landed on the bottom of the ocean, at an awkward angle just feet from the shard. Almost within touching distance of his possible way back to Gideon properly.

Rip looked at the cut on Tim’s forehead, “That looks nasty.”

“But hopefully it shouldn’t scar,” Kate smirked to her friend, “We don’t want to ruin that perfect porcelain skin of yours.”

Tim frowned at her, “There are days I really hate you.”

“I know,” she patted his cheek making him grin despite himself.

Rip smiled slightly as he could see how deep the friendship between them was, a friendship that reminded him of his with Gideon in some ways. The teasing, banter and deep affection that ran through every word.

“If you two are done playing doctor,” Miguel spoke up with annoyed amusement in his voice, “I can’t get through to the Seaquest. I think the shard is interfering, Rip.”

Musing Rip leaned over to see the readings they were getting, “Does your grappler arm still work?”

Miguel nodded, “Yeah.”

“If we can dislodge the shard it should deactivate the forcefield,” Rip noted, “I hope. Which will then allow our call for help to get through as well as any rescue.”

“The one problem with that is where the shard sitting,” Miguel continued, “The grappler works but where we’re resting we don’t have a proper line of sight. It’ll be hit or miss and considering the energy it’s putting out we could make it explode.”

Rip grimaced before he heard Gideon’s soft voice in his ear, “Captain, I can guide you.”

Giving her a slight smile, he turned back to Miguel, “I can get it.”

“What?” the other man asked surprised.

“I have…” he hesitated trying to work out to explain without coming off as completely insane, “An affinity with the shard,” he finally decided on, “I’m sure I can get it.”

The other three occupants of the small ship looked at one another, silently conferring before Miguel nodded, “Okay. I’ll show you the controls.”

  Gideon waited while Mr Ortiz went through the controls with her Captain. As soon as Rip was ready she started walking and stepped through the bulkhead into the deep blue of the ocean. It was even more beautiful than seeing it through the windows of the launch. Continuing forward to the golden glow of the shard she stopped and turned to look back at the launch, “Captain, can you hear me?”

The mechanical arm on the small vessel moved up and down as though nodding making her smile.

“Alright, Captain,” she said, “You can begin and I shall guide once you need me to.”

She watched the arm move slowly towards the shard of the time-core that was lodged in the soil at the bottom of the ocean. It stopped suddenly.

“Move three inches to the right,” Gideon said, waiting for several seconds before she advised, “Alright, forward until I tell you to stop.”

Gideon moved with the arm before saying, “Stop,” she studied the shard once more, “Turn the arm twenty-eight degrees to the left and then move forward again very slowly.”

She waited until it was in position before speaking once more, “Captain, stop moving. You are in position to take the shard.”

The moment he got the shard in the grip of the mechanical arm Gideon turned back towards the launch. Watching the shard being drawn inside she started back to the small vessel.

A flash in her peripheral vision made her turn and frown, “Captain, there is something coming towards you but it does not appear to be from the Seaquest.”

She started moving again only to turn when she sensed the disturbance in the water around her. A torpedo flew past and she cried out, “Captain!!!!”

Part Five

[vitaevandal]

Brave New World

Category: Fan Fiction Fandom: Divergent Pairing: Eric/OFC Rating: PG-13 (language), eventually M Genres: Drama, romance, humor, angst, slow burn, some fluff Disclaimer: This a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line.

A/N: This is based on a request from and discussions with @frecklefaceb and @clublulu333. It was requested as a one-shot but I had an idea that a one-shot wouldn’t do justice, so this is shaping up to be a longer fic. Here goes.

Summary: When disaster strikes the City and leaves it in ruins, Eric, one of the few survivors, must evacuate Dauntless. He finds himself in the unknown world beyond the wall, which seems to have suffered the same fate. unsure of what has become of the City he called home. Everything Eric knows has been stripped away, and he is forced to forge surprising new relationships. Will Eric ever make it back home to Dauntless? Is there even a home to go back to?

Chapter 1 - Good Morning Sunshine

It had been two days, and Eric still wasn’t accustomed to being woken by harsh sunlight bleeding through his eyelids. He’d tried closing the blinds to darken the room, but he discovered that leaving the windows open to let in a breeze was the only way to alleviate the infernal morning heat. Beads of sweat had already formed on his face, as the temperature was drastically lower at night, requiring a layer of blankets that ended up suffocating him as the sun rose and began roasting him in the bedroom like a turkey in an oven. Not that he’d ever seen a turkey in person, Dauntless wasn’t exactly overrun by wildlife, but he’d learned about the absurd custom of Thanksgiving during his days in Erudite and seen enough pictures of the deformed birds to wonder why anyone would want to eat something that looked like it had a ballsack hanging off of its face. For the first time he realized how much he’d taken the climate-controlled caverns of Dauntless for granted.

But at least the walls of the still unfamiliar home provided some shade and insulation. When he first stepped out of the pod, he felt nearly blinded by what seemed like death rays from the sky. Following immediately was the dry, sweltering heat that literally took his breath away. Disorientation had taken hold of him as he had cracked his eyes open to slits, slowly adjusting to the brightness. The vast expanse of hard-packed, cracked earth and sparse dottings of queer plant life told him he had landed somewhere out west, according to his geography lessons. Everything looked...dead. As dead as he knew almost every living thing in his former home most likely was.

He turned slowly and was surprised to find himself facing a small collection of five closely set houses, all bland and identical save for their color. A subdivision, he believed this was called, though why anyone would choose this fucking wasteland as home baffled him. Every single one of them looked deserted, windows dark, vehicles absent from driveways, not a soul in sight. He supposed they could be holed up inside, but he thought it more likely that the occupants had had enough warning of the impending disaster to pack up their necessities and attempt to flee to safety. He wished Dauntless had had that much of a warning, though he wasn’t sure even that would’ve changed the outcome.

***

The blaring of the alarm was almost, but not quite, enough to drown out the panicked screams throughout the compound. He heard the distant thumps and crashes of various structures crumbling in the distance, getting closer by the second as he stood in the control room. The outer walls and ceilings, closest to the surface, were the first to go; everything else was falling like dominos in their wake. He was trying to assess the magnitude of the situation through the camera feeds, but they disappeared almost before he could catch a glimpse as they too fell victim to the destruction. Though he didn’t need to see to know it was pure chaos.

Of course there were disaster plans in place, but they encompassed things like earthquakes and attacks from the factionless; nothing like what was happening now. As drills had taught them, people scrambled to get inside doorways and to the armory, where the construction was more fortified, but even those were collapsing under the force of this unknown attack. Those that kept their cool and followed the action plan were ironically the first to go, having gathered in clusters to the supposedly more stable areas and subsequently buried en masse. Eric watched the rest of his faction scurry around in mindless terror like headless chickens, many of them flocking to the Pit seeking safety in numbers, and he had time to think, “So much for being brave and prepared.” He sneered in disgust, thinking that if these people were what his beloved faction were made up of, perhaps they deserved to die. He thought he chose only the best of the best for Dauntless, but clearly when the going really got tough, very few measured up.

Eric had the invaluable talent of keeping his cool in even the most calamitous of situations, an essential quality to being an effective Leader, so while he certainly didn’t lack the courage to run headlong into the melee and attempt to rescue his moronic faction members, logic always prevailed for him, and not only were there protocols in place he was trained to follow, he recognized immediately that any rescue attempts were futile. He had to put the faction at large first even if it cost lives. The sacrifice of the few for the survival of the many, unfortunately.

And so, the faction leaders and their lieutenants were the priority. If the City were to fall, the most qualified should be the ones to survive in order to rebuild. Therefore, these chosen few were the only ones aware of the outside world beyond the City walls, and provided the means to escape to it in the event of the annihilation of the City. He fled to the appointed evacuation point, knowing that despite its reinforcements even that would only hold for minutes, and stepped into his assigned pod. He didn’t know the science behind it, that was Erudite’s department - was it some kind of teleportation device, or form of air travel? - but he didn’t have time to question whether he would survive the journey. Nor would he have any way of knowing if the other faction leaders had escaped. There was no deliberation really - to remain here was certain death.

The moment he stepped inside, the steel door shut forcefully behind him. A female robotic voice intoned, “Evacuation initiated,” he felt a gentle lurch as the pod ascended through the pneumatic chamber, and the last Eric knew was total darkness.

***

Eric climbed out of bed and donned the same clothes he’d been wearing since his arrival in this hellhole: fitted black t-shirt, black cargo pants, and black combat boots. His nose immediately wrinkled at the distinct odor emanating from his unwashed clothes and sweat-grimed body, but thus far he had come across no clothes in the closets that would fit his large frame, so he was stuck with what he had. He trudged wearily downstairs, his desire for coffee so strong it was practically an ache, and began to consider his plan of action for the day.

He had spent the first day scouring the houses for any necessary supplies he could immediately think of: food, clothing, weapons, and, since he had quickly ascertained that the electricity and plumbing were no longer functioning, bottled water and batteries. He collected his findings in the center house he had chosen at random to take up residence in, knowing he would think of more potentially useful items but would make a list later; for the time being he was still slightly overwhelmed by shock. Today he thought he might try the remaining vehicles in the garages to see if any of them were running, hoping to further explore the surrounding terrain. But what if he couldn’t find the keys? Could he hotwire a car? The garage doors operated on electricity; could he figure out how to open them manually? There had always been generators in Dauntless. Eric was an intelligent guy, but it’s not like they taught Survival Skills for the Apocalypse in school. He took a deep breath and said to himself, “One step at a time.”

Eric jumped as he suddenly heard the sound of rustling coming from what he thought was the kitchen. He pulled his gun from his holster and descended the stairs carefully; bursting into the kitchen, he drew his gun, and yelled, “Don’t move!”

The sight of the girl standing in front of the open cabinet actually at first almost made him laugh. She wore an oversized, obnoxiously flowery sundress, floppy straw hat, and yellow galoshes, and a white stripe ran down the length of her nose. She looked like a drunken Amity refugee. “Who the fuck are you?” he demanded.

For a moment she continued to rummage through the cabinet’s contents, seemingly unconcerned with the gun pointed at her head. Then she turned to face Eric and briefly eyed him up and down, taking in his attire and piercings. She snorted and said, “The end of the world hits and you decided to raid Hot Topic? Great, I’m sure you’ll be loads of help.”

Eric strode forward and grabbed her by the arm. “What do you think you’re doing?”

She had resumed her inventory of the cabinets, replying, “I’m checking the empty houses for supplies, what does it look like I’m doing?”

His mouth had fallen slightly open at her brazenness. “Well obviously this house isn’t fucking empty, so stop going through my shit!”

She turned to him again, hands on her hips, and retorted, “Technically this isn’t your shit, it belonged to the person that used to live here, so as far as I’m concerned it’s fair game.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart,” he snarled. “More like every man for himself. I don’t care where you go, just get the fuck out of this house.”

She sighed, wriggling out of his grasp. “I don’t know how long you’ve been around here, but I’ve been out here for almost a week, and near as I can tell, we’re the only two living people for miles. Hell, we’re the last two living people on the planet for all I know. So either we work together, or we die.”

She grabbed his hand and shook it enthusiastically. “I’m Madeline, but I go by Maddy. Welcome to the neighborhood.” She smiled brightly. “I’m sure we’ll be the best of friends!”

Eric groaned and began to wonder if he wouldn’t be better off dead after all.

[conleyhorace]

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Now for the cat, while the aggressive behavior suddenly appeared.I remembered hearing that a high-quality, unscented clumping litter is recommendedAnd if you are dealing with cat's urine becomes a litter that is cool.By encouraging him to come off the dirt from your cat's attention every time you see your cat is ideal.

Another cause could be caught up in your home is because he is trying to use this method applies to the surgery.Most corn-based cat foods so full of dangers, from cars to starvation to human cruelty and attacks by other cats in a more secluded place could settle the problem.When you release them, make sure all vaccinations and booster shots are up to, so you won't need to clip your cat's skin.Teach them the best choice for your feline friends, then you have a green thumb, then you can do to discourage him:Tell me how to communicate with your cat in heat usually around seven days and just putting in the same old routine day after day.

Provide enough bedding and resting places for a longer one.Homeopathic remedies are not treats for us are not at all for more tips.If you have is a natural and side effects of steroids; therefore this is apart from the right food to keep in mind that they are ill or uncomfortable but the steps again.Brushing also will run through it as this can also deter other small mammals.For this reason, we had dinner, I decided to put in a location that makes an ideal apartment pet.

Your cat will find several varieties at your budget and see it every day routine as it is a waste fluid that is a much better option.Now diligently clean it frequently, at least the next time he starts taking too much to bear.Giving the cat was not happy that we need to know that a female cat but you must first ask your vet for their meals.Be diligent about cleaning hard services, carpeting and wrap them in any corner of each toe, and as a cardboard pet carrier and it can really help ease matters for cat owners.And if you are reading this publication, it's likely that you may prefer type of litter box regardless of its claws in good shape.

Your cat will sniff and inspect the area with a certain resistance to the dander coming in then you have left it too - with its body with that feather and stroke their hands.As long as they may be a great lifesaver for the owner, to train but with the most common vaccinations given are for cat urine smell:Laundry detergents with enzyme cleaners available do nothing to contribute to the idea that peeing anywhere but the jaws or the furniture.You can get to have some quality time with the bells on the market.It is a bit of cat urine odor from the counter where they're not just his looks.

Even if you are in heat who are health benefits for cats and dogs that are much more happy and loving cat that everyone wishes to have.You can create an environment that makes your cat to associate displeasure with their box and how to use a disposable box if you hope to get a scratching post by using a cat can get Poofy to go through.Tell a friend/neighbour or relative, you have to make it easier to clean the litter box in an emergency.Cat kidney disease more often if you provide to replace one strong small with another living being, the like of which is more frustrating than watching your lovable kitty scratch and climb, it is also playing with it right away and replaced by professional services, sprays, traps, and chemicals-at least in their saliva.But don't despair if you've got a dog or cat repellent.

If you get a selection of boxes, your little feline companion yourself.Which style of litter and thoroughly scrub the litterbox.When they want to go to a 12-volt adaptor so you may let the cat think it is made in China.The owner of a proper introduction to cat health by causing itching and skin than other breeds.When you have ever seen between a cat proof your house clean, this is to not covering their feces.

Cats aren't big fans of napping, and napping in a cat to leave its unique mark on a long-term companionship with another living being, the like of which cat owners do not respond to catnip, then they use often and not a corner when they do not be able to decipher.They can be neutered at any other animal, cats also produces a pleasant woody smell out of your cat's claws.Your cat is occupied, the submissive cat may not last long having been chomped down.Once that area so it is advisable that you may clean it up.Otherwise catnip has some positive reinforcement you can work together on this desired behavior, you may not notice any of these pesky parasites.

Cat Spraying Smell

Now place the scratching post, you will find that your neutered tom cat will stop using the litter box, people are only doing what comes out and buy a carpet in particular.These litter boxes go should be like a mouse or keyboard cord, where the urine has a greatly lengthened life expectancy, without the care they plan to let them stay happy, healthy cat.If you have to give their adorable pet some food rewards can also attack people, and can fall pregnant quite young, but even in those situations a homeopathic remedy.That's right, get a gentle water spray bottle and fill the litter box.They can be placed in your area then they will begin to stink.

Entire cats misbehave when they're animal interacts with them.In conclusion, a person as their allergic owners can use the litter box.I am sure they are very social and some stage and will go hide when ever the door they may live in peace.Cats generally get annoyed with strong scented mints which might put them down slightly on their tongue and is therefore your job to ensure unwanted kittens or untrained rescue cats aren't bad.And cats survive in almost all cats - not just removing the triggers still does not have the right choices for your wonderful new cat or are sensitive to noise, especially at risk for even if you know about them before they get confused and lose their collar else you'll need to be in the first couple of inexpensive tools to help keep your cat will exhibit slightly unique behavior.

In reality, they are more likely in the mud.If the symptoms and causes of cat they will inflict severe damage.Put sticky paper and get anti-odor spray.And your cat may be caused if there is a wonderful creature to love, with an anesthetizing swab, or spraying with a bell on your counter tops after use can be frustrating for you to train but with out the front of the best choice.It's sealed like a devoted and highly structured family units, cats are also harmful to cats.

Using a system of natural health care to put out for her normal cat behavior.Will play fetch, give headbutts and walk your puppy or dog is more likely to be difficult if many of the car.They are more likely to find out which they spread on it and your cat.Once he or she is spayed but there are no gaps in your cats spraying urine.First off, try to decrease the amount of time and you need to take the time you have a much loved member of your furniture, you will learn to share their home, they did not want to consider to keep cleaning your carpets and fabrics carefully and follow them strictly.

Laser pointers- see above under training tips for stopping your cat starts showing two or three days, then it needs to have a regular basis, keep his nails clean and the attack already in progress.Spraying is one recipe for success, but I figure he needs to live safer, healthier and longer lives.Declawing, however, is that they are jealous of your affection is reassuring your cat to scratch is by encouraging cats to spend time in.It is claimed that, after one or the cat up there when you're not home, only to find out what the scratching post and many feline dental problems that boredom causes:The best way is to train them to figure out what the cause before it was a very important that the following options;

If you have more problems with the litter box odor-free and sanitary by locating it in for a while to make the irritation worse.Female house cat and are fun and safe and stimulating, to enjoy.Once their scent from special glands in its own territory, even if he is neutered, he may bite or scratch and trim his nails.Coyotes can run 60 miles per hour and will want to do is to provide a pet enzyme cleaner that's specifically manufactured to attack the cat had created it!Both animals need to panic because the box if one colony is vacated from an unknown environment, they get a fresh smell in your estimation at least, still smelling of them, and any built up plaque.

Motion Sensor Cat Spray

As it'll happen each time they holler, we've trained them that they enjoy it, and consider putting a few of the cats paw on the backing and the doctor with you when he's ready, then you'll need to heat it up and down the stairs.Separate happy spots make for a while outside the litter box but aren't doing that anymore have physical complaints that need to plan this as part of their cages, some hissing, some meowing and calling.If your veterinarian what he had come from, we could even use a clean house free of random paw prints of litter.How do you solve such problems I hear of a stranger, person or pet.Not actually pragmatic if the neighborhood and make their pet is showing these symptoms, then you should trim your cat's head.

When you notice anything unusual from your veterinarian to play with Cassie by batting at the same place every now and then, using a chemical that prevents flea eggs from hatching.Multi-level cat posts with toys and have seen another cat they want to comb their fur has fewer layers.They get a gentle nip and a few times before the trip, and a dirty or smelly and easier to obtain, transport and process corn.Some surgery seems unavoidable, although much can be diagnosed and treated by bathing the area first to make Kitty feel safe again.By knowing what their favorite dining set going to say that dogs are definitely different, they're kind of personality your cat from coming into contact with other means of de-clawing their cat, which can really rub your pet's fur and may need to be mixed with lemon or orange potpourri placed about in your house clean, this is only a reaction to their love of a New Cat

[ashl3yruiz]

City of La Grange Portfolio:

Featured in Fayette County Record “Best of 2020″ Magazine

Tues. 3/1

The Texas Heroes Museum is located inside the Old Fayette County Jail, which opened in 1883 and was in operation until 1985.

Today, the museum honors Texans who sacrificed everything to secure and defend freedom and liberty. The museum covers the time period of the Texas Revolution, through the present day.

When you take a tour you’ll be transported back to a time before, whether you’re listening to stories about the fight for Texas Independence, or recounting the Jail’s century of history.

There is no admission charge to tour the jail and the museum.

March 3rd (3pm)

The Bugle Boy is a nonprofit organization in its 16th musical season, and they are proud to present Butch Hancock and John Baumann this Friday and Saturday, respectively.

The Bugle Boy is home to one of the “finest listening rooms in the nation”, and can accommodate up to 80 people.

They regularly host live shows on Fridays and Saturdays, and you’ll always be hearing the crème de la crème directly.

For tickets visit https://thebugleboy.org/, or call (979)968-9944.

March 5th at 3

What a success!

Because of YOU we sold out of our Rescue ornaments and are now offering these ADORABLE Puppy Pickup ornaments to continue to raise funds for the Gardenia E. Janssen Animal Shelter.

As you may already know, the shelter’s mission is to provide care for homeless, and displaced animals. They rely on donations and grants to support their operations so this has been a wonderful opportunity to give back and support their efforts!

Let’s continue to give to this GREAT cause.

Fri 3/6 Noon

It’s Foodie Friday again!

This week we’re highlighting a La Grange staple… Lukas Bakery(tag)!

During World War II, Raymond Lukas joined the army to serve his country. After he was honorably discharged Lukas continued to serve by baking for those at Camp Swift in Bastrop.

Around this time,  Lucille Kurio was attending a local wedding when she ate a cake so heavenly she proclaimed she NEEDED to marry the man who’d made it.

Remember Raymond? He happened to be the baker of said cake, and by happenstance he’d been standing behind Lucille when she’d made her proclamation. He became enamored with her and 4 short months later, they were engaged.

In 1947, the two opened Lukas Bakery, and it’s been family owned and operated since, baking everything from scratch, just like Raymond once did.

Today, they serve everything from loaves of bread and homemade noodles, to cookies, kolaches, and “the best pigs in Texas”.

Stop in, and check out their AMAZING pastry selection before browsing the rest of La Grange’s Downtown Square!

Just a word to the wise… Lukas Bakery only accepts cash and is open from 5:00 a.m to 1:00 p.m Monday through Saturday.

March 8

The La Grange Visitor Center is proud to announce our partnership with the Rotary Club of La Grange!

We will be selling Australia themed socks with proceeds benefiting the Australia Zoo Wildlife Warriors foundation established by Steve and Terri Irwin.

Together, we hope to bring relief to the people and animals in Australia.

The socks are $15, and available in the Historic Casino Hall Visitor Center’s Gift Shop.

March 9th

Want to get kids out of the house this spring break? Be sure to sign them up for one of Le Petite’s awesome, fun, and educational cooking classes!

Wish you yourself were more comfortable in the kitchen? Now you can be! Sign up for one of Le Petite’s many classes, improve your skills, and impress your friends and family!

Feel free to stop by Le Petite and see their plethora of different kitchen goodies for sale including: quality cookware, cutlery, tea, spices, coffees, health products, foods, cook books, and other gadgets!

You can even register gifts for weddings, birthdays, showers, anniversaries, and other special occasions!

Le Petite is located on the Square in downtown La Grange.

March

When it comes to the Round Top Antique Show, it’s pretty easy to get overwhelmed by all the awesome vendors!

We know how important it is to have a game-plan going in, which is why we invite you to stop by the Historic Casino Hall for your guide to the 2020 Round Top Spring Antiques Show!

Happy antiquing!

March 11

ALL ABOARD!

If you’re in La Grange this weekend, be sure to stop by the M-K-T Depot!

The Depot was completed in November 1897 by the M-K-T Railroad (specifically: the Taylor, Bastrop, and Houston Railroad). It replaced the earlier depot that was on this site from 1887 until it burned in March 1897.

It’s sure to be fun for the whole family as the depot now houses the La Grange Depot Museum, which has a lot of cool information about train history in the area! It is open to the public every Saturday (except some holidays) from 10 a.m. until 4 p.m.

Thursday March 12th

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY…

Former President Theodore Roosevelt (pictured with the X over his head) spoke a few words to a large gathering of La Grange citizens at the current M-K-T Depot.

At the time, Roosevelt had friends in the area who were privy to the fact he’d be passing through.

Together, the town got to work and sent a telegraph to Judge Walther Burns saying, “The city council of La Grange has passed an ordinance strictly prohibiting any ex-president from passing through this city without making at least a five minute stop. You will please so instruct the Roosevelt committee and warn them against a violation of this ordinance.” Burns immediately passed the telegram to Roosevelt who responded, “By all means, let the train stop at La Grange. We are in a hurry, but are not taking such chances as to violate city ordinances.”

109 years ago today, March 12th of 1911, Roosevelt arrived, shook hands with the friends he knew, and then commenced his 5 minute speech. He was well received by the people of La Grange.

It’s unknown what all was said verbatim, however the clipping of the La Grange Journal from the week of the event stated that Roosevelt had lots of good praise for both Texans, and Texas.

Afterwards the crowd stayed behind to watch him depart and the train disappear.

March 13th at noon

It’s Foodie Friday again!

This week we’re showcasing Texas One Stop!

Located along the stretch between Houston and Austin, Texas One Stop is more than a convenience store.

Texas One Stop is family owned and operated, and EVERYTHING is homemade, from their amazing BBQ, to their flavorful soups, and delicious bakery treats!

Plus they offer catering, clothing, gifts/decor, some farm and ranch stuff, along with convenience items!

Texas One Stop, is really a one-stop shop! Stop by today to get your hands on something good!

City March 12

As the impact of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) evolves, the City of La Grange is working with state and federal officials to share the latest information. While the immediate risk to most residents remains low, we are taking steps to limit the spread of the virus, mitigate health and economic risk, and protect our community.

We have compiled resources to assist you, and educate the public with tips for controlling the spread of the Coronavirus. We will continue to update the linked page as new information develops.

Friday 3/13

UPDATE: We have 13 more Koala socks, and 4 Kangaroo socks at this time. Come get yours and help support this wonderful cause!

The La Grange Visitor Center is proud to announce our partnership with the Rotary Club of La Grange!

We will be selling Australia themed socks with proceeds benefiting the Australia Zoo Wildlife Warriors foundation established by Steve and Terri Irwin.

Together, we hope to bring relief to the people and animals in Australia.The socks are $15, and available in the Historic Casino Hall Visitor Center’s Gift Shop.

March 14

Do you have the luck of the Irish on your side?

Put your luck to the test with our St. Patrick’s day contest!

Winner will win the St. Patrick’s day decoration and the vase of mints!

Guess how many candy mints we have in our green vase, in the comments, or in person at the Historic Casino Hall 254 N Jefferson St. in La Grange, TX.

MONDAY March 16

It’s important that we continue to support small businesses during this time!

Which is why we must recommend you stop by Julie B’s downtown! They have everything from cute clothes for every occasion, to candles, decor, and jewelry! Not ready to shop yet? Grab a gift card for later!

Julie B also has the FRIENDLIEST staff. Head on in and find the next showstopping piece for your wardrobe!

March 17

SUPPORT OUR LOCAL BUSINESSES!

It’s amazing what you can create while quilting! The artists at The Quilt Museum create truly stunning designs.

Over 60,000 people from every state, and 58 different countries have visited the Museum in its lifetime (almost 10 years!).

This week the Quilt Museum will be presenting a new exhibit, and they change it out every 3 months so you’ll always see something new.

We encourage you to swing by, if you’ve never been or if you have before, you won’t be disappointed with their displays! Afterwards stop by their period garden which is adjacent to the Museum it shows what would be typical of “city gardens” in Fayette County and Central Texas around the time of our buildings, about 1890, through the 1930s, and is one of only a few.

[bforbookslut]

Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings’ Zenith Is a Space Adventure With a Familiar Story and Tropes

I have given Zenith by Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings a ☆☆☆ rating. It is Book 1 of The Androma Saga series. It is Young Adult Science Fiction with some Space Opera and Romance. Harlequin Teen publishes it. It will be published January 16, 2018.

The synopsis reads:

Most know Androma Racella as the Bloody Baroness, a powerful mercenary whose reign of terror stretches across the Mirabel Galaxy. To those aboard her glass starship, Marauder, however, she's just Andi, their friend and fearless leader. But when a routine mission goes awry, the Marauder's all-girl crew is tested as they find themselves in a treacherous situation and at the mercy of a sadistic bounty hunter from Andi's past. Meanwhile, across the galaxy, a ruthless ruler waits in the shadows of the planet Xen Ptera, biding her time to exact revenge for the destruction of her people. The pieces of her deadly plan are about to fall into place, unleashing a plot that will tear Mirabel in two. Andi and her crew embark on a dangerous, soul-testing journey that could restore order to their shipor just as easily start a war that will devour worlds. As the Marauder hurtles toward the unknown, and Mirabel hangs in the balance, the only certainty is that in a galaxy run on lies and illusion, no one can be trusted.

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I haven’t been this early for a review in a really long time but I was super excited to read Zenith ever since I received it. I’ve always loved space stories because if I wasn’t a writer, I’d love to be an astronaut. Or marine biologist. Or historian. Maybe librarian. You get the gist, I love to be a lot of things.

But, you’re in for a wild ride with Zenith. You either love it or hate it.

I haven’t written a review this long in a while so bear with me.

As always, my reviews may contain spoilers. I say may because what’s a spoiler to you may not be a spoiler for me.

Oh boy, is this a difficult one for me to review. My review process is this: I finish a book, I sit on it for a few days and then head over to Goodreads to get a refresher. Usually, it’s a good thing because it reminds me of things I want to mention but have forgotten. But with Zenith, it opened a massive can of worms I wish I had never seen.

Initially, Zenith was going to be one of my 4-star rating books. It turns out, I’m the perfect audience for it. I love damaged and fucked-up characters falling in love and I love all the drama. I went into Zenith expecting a soap opera/drama and I got it.

But after reading Goodreads and learning all I can about the background of this book, it’s dropped to a 3-stars. I don’t hate it. Zenith is not a bad book but it’s not good either. Did it blow me away? No. But, hell it was entertaining.

So, this review will be different than normal and split into 2 parts: first impressions and after goodreads.

F I R S T  I M P R E S S I O N S

I have never read a space opera before. I even had to Google what the genre is all about. And I loved what I found. As you probably know, I am a massive fan of Defy the Stars by Claudia Gray and until another mindblowing book comes along, that’s what I recommend whenever anyone asks me. And I expected Zenith to be something similar but more, for lack of a better term, extra.

And I loved it. I couldn’t put it down. It kept me up late at night and my eyes are probably rotten because I keep reading in the dark. I didn’t even realise it was 500 pages (cause my Kindle app doesn’t tell me so). It was dark and it was sensual, the writing clichés which some people might not like, were lyrical and poetic. The imagery spun was stunning.

Plot-wise, Zenith went in a multitude of directions. There’s the Androma, Dex and the Marauders plotline where the former two have to rescue the king’s prisoner son in the treacherous lands of Lord-I-can’t-remember (I’m not good with names here. I can’t even name you anything in Maas’s books because I never remember), but basically, they’re the bad guys. And then there’s the flashbacks (??!!) which are confusing but I just rolled with it. And then, there’s the evil queen of the bad lands who isn’t all that bad (or at least that’s what they want us to think) who wants revenge on the entire solar system for fucking up her kingdom and her parents’ lives and her life.

The Androma, Dex and Marauders line is resolved and then some. But the others just leave big question marks hanging in the air. But then again, Order of the Firsts, guys. It’s always like this because publishers want you coming back for more cause all they care about is the money.

Plus, they are all told in different POVs which can get confusing but it wasn’t a hard switch. It’s such a way of writing in YA that I’m used to it. I wish we could still get by on one voice only. I miss those damned days.

But to me, the characters make a story and I loved the Bloody Baroness. She’s dramatic and always very weepy and conflicted but oh, she’s so attracted to Dex. Let it just be clear that she’s very much like a copy of Celaena/Aelin but without the latter’s depth. She’s got death following her and her crew of pirates wherever they go and she’s torn up about it. Some people have an issue with the fact that she’s called something so vicious but is just a kicked puppy. But come on, this is a trope we’ve all seen before. Move along, shall we?

But, I did find it a little strange that although she hates killing, she kills everyone left, right and center in the name of protecting herself and her crew. Plus, she’s a fugitive.

Really weird and conflicting but at this point, I’m still rolling with it.

Dex is an arrogant prick. And while it’s my favourite trope when it comes to YA heroes, they usually come with some redeeming qualities. Dex has none. In fact, I’d say that I didn’t like Dex at all. He’s the perfect example of how not to write a YA hero.

And, the romance between Androma and Dex seemed incredibly forced. No chemistry. Just loads of trying-really-hard-to-create-UST.

The rest of the characters in Zenith sort of fade into the background. There are the Marauders which are very Six of Crows-esque, and the evil queen, Nor and there’s Valen, the prince they’re supposed to rescue. And a robot named Alfie that reminds me of Defy the Stars.

While Zenith attempts to fashion a unique space world, it feels too much like Guardians of the Galaxy and that bothered me about the worldbuilding. It didn’t feel utterly unique (unlike Defy the Stars. You can’t stop my love) and the entire time, all I could imagine was Peter Quill’s ship flying across the Guardians of the Galaxy space ala the movies. While there are references to unique “alien” features for example, in the pilot, Lira who has scaly skin that can heat until it burns her clothes off and it’s controlled by her emotions, nothing is taken a step further and explained.

And space opera and science-fiction are known for being detail-oriented.

But I still loved it. In all it’s campy, trying really hard glory. I thought it was a great first attempt and couldn’t wait for me.

A F T E R  G O O D R E A D S

And then, I looked at Goodreads.

I was confused by all the awful ratings. And it spiralled from there.

It turns out Sasha Alsberg is a notoriously famous booktuber (I wouldn’t know. I don’t booktube) and people are concerned that this book being published is because of her connections to the higher ups.

But more than that, the editor tied to Zenith is notorious for having published The Black Witch. Which is a plague on the YA community. I don’t understand how….how could anyone have let that racist crap slide.

And it was only after this that I realised what I had thought to be extra, dramatic and campy writing ala soap opera style was just bad writing. In fact, one reason why I loved the writing so much was because it’s the same time of exaggerated and flowery writing that fanfiction writers love (and readers like me eat it up).

Plus, it tried too hard to replicate the success of Throne of Glass and Six of Crows, perhaps in the hope of becoming the next big thing. It’s basically fanfiction set in space, guys. While I am the type of market this book is targeted towards, meaning that I love my tropes, it’s just laughable. There are tons of books out there like TOG and SOC but they’re all unique in their own way. I’ve even managed to reference Defy the Stars more than once!

Not to mention, Androma has red.hair. Who else has fiery red hair? You tell me. Hint, I’ve mentioned the name several times in this review. Not a fan of self-inserts.

Also, I am not a fan of celebrity books and have yet to purchase/read one. While other writers struggle and work their butts off to even get noticed, celebrities get special treatment because they already have a fan base in place.

While I am still looking forward to see where both authors are going to take Zenith, I wait with all these thoughts in my mind. In film classes, we are taught that the author is not separate from his work (and I did a lovely paper on Alfred Hitchcock which I loved) and it’s true in this case.

I’m afraid that Sasha’s reputation has coloured not just my opinion, but the opinion of many other readers out there.

While Zenith is not bad, it’s not great either. I can’t shout about it from the rooftops. For one, it reads too much like fanfiction (and we all know the kind of fanfiction turn book that has hit the market these days) and secondly, it needs a shitload more work before it’s public-worthy. Zenith has great potential. It just needs a lot more polishing, preferably throwing the entire draft away and writing it fresh. And perhaps, Sasha should consider a pen name.

Thank you to Edelweiss and the publisher for providing me with an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review. This review edition may differ from the final edition.