#she was like idk who y’all are but I do not identify

[vulpinesaint]

all these messages like “what harm does hogwarts legacy actually cause 🙄” babe have you been like. gone??? for the last like three years since jk rowling (woman who profits off of the harry potter ip) started tweeting transphobic shit and working politically to hurt us? and for the last thirty years since she published her shitty book with shitty antisemitic and racial stereotypes?????? have you been off the internet for all the posts about the fact that the plot of the game literally hinges around blood libel? girl hogwarts legacy is causing harm in like seventeen easily identifiable ways and i have a hard time believing that you don’t actually know that. use some critical thinking and compassion and like. idk. consider the direct flow of money to support both a game studio producing antisemitic shit and a woman who wants trans people Gone and the attention to both that woman and the BLATANT ANTISEMITISM. + all the transphobes in my inbox are not making points cause i know y’all know about the antisemitism too and terf support for this game ALONGSIDE their fascist bullshit? girl you can’t be doing this right after the terf who quoted hitler at a rally. i didn’t think you’d want to show your whole ass over a video game but obviously being hateful toward marginalized people always comes first ✨

[scaly-freaks]

Also, on a side note/rant about the Aemond grooming discourse. My sister was truly up in arms citing specific episodes of the last season to prove that the woman was secretly “in charge,” and a pedophile, because “she continued to see him.” Idk, that rubs me the wrong way, because it truly sounds no different than like people saying “well, she continued to work in that place even though she was sexually harassed, clearly she wanted it.” Like, as you’ve said, even if he was a kid, he’s still the son of a king and has the equivalent to a nuclear bomb at his beck and call. My sister tried to say “well, she could have given him to another sex worker,” like no?? If he asked for her in particular, she’d have no choice; also, idk how it would be any better if she sent him off to have sex with another fully-grown woman.

I sometimes wonder whether this absolutely insane response is the result of some kind of cognitive dissonance that Aemond fans get from seeing someone whom they’ve imagined as this domineering, sex god character act in a submissive way to someone. Like, I have a sneaking suspicion that they wouldn’t have as much of an issue if Aemond were reacting through hypersexuality or rough sex with this woman, even if both were in response to him having/being forced to have sex at a very young age (both of which actually ARE common responses). Like obviously, there is an air of wrongness in the scene, because he very clearly sees her as a type of mother figure, in a way that’s very reminiscent of a son with his mother. That is very alarming, but, again, I don’t think they would have as much of an issue if he were having another common reaction to having sex way too young.

Personally, I never got the “daddy dom” Aemond vibes because literally no aspect of his character would ever scream sex god. From a young age he looked down on Aegon for his drinking and sexual proclivities, his closest confidante is his (until recently) sexually-repressed mother who uses religion as a means of sublimation, he spends all day training, and all night likely reading. So the brothel scenes weren’t shocking to me due to the implications on Aemond’s character (though it was shocking seeing how skinny Ewan Mitchell was). Idk, like you said, it’s just a classic “applying contemporary understandings of power to situations with different contexts of power and oppression than most of us could even comprehend.” And it personally pisses me off to see a woman who had no agency in this scenario be labelled as predatory. Like y’all, Foucauldian power analysis was about the intersectionality of power, aka the ability to hold more power in one context, and far less in a broader context, you can be an abuser in one context, and abused in another. And, in Westeros, there are very, very few contexts that would equate to having more power and agency than the son of a king.

So on one hand, I get annoyed by seeing a woman get shat on by other women as a means to defend their image of a man, an image which I personally find to be entirely inconsistent with his character (so the literary analysis system in me goes berserk like klaxon klaxon does not compute), and also seeing women ignore blatant power imbalances but then invoking them as a means to hate other women. Idk, maybe it’s a trend I’ve noticed, similar to how a “pick me” has morphed from genuine discourse on internalized misogyny to a criticism of any women who don’t necessarily identify with traditionally feminine behaviour (but who are doing so out of genuine interest rather than a desire to appease me). But it does piss me off. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe that groomers should be reviled, but rather, that there’s a huge trend of male or white power being ignored in favour of criticizing the actions of those in the more marginalized position.

Anyways, rant over!

I have noticed that even with a so-called liberal approach to sex work, most people still view sex workers with a degree of disgust and a refusal to humanise them (usually subconsciously, but it filters through in how they speak of them). In-verse, Aemond's disregard for Sylvie - a whore is a whore - was especially telling because everyone last season was swearing up, down and sideways he respected women because he "loves" his mother, or "listened" to Criston. None of the men in this show respect women LMAO not even Corlys (he literally dragged Rhaena for not having a dragon and not knowing anything about the "sea" when Rhaenys said she should take the throne of Driftmark).

Rhaenyra was more powerless than Aemond when Daemon left her alone in that brothel with her pants down. She was a young girl, and she was dressed up as a peasant. The things that might have happened to her if a group of drunk men found her and were too conked out to hear her yell that she's the princess? Unfathomable. But I don't see half the amount of bald outrage for her situation than I do for Aemond's.

I fully agree with you on the case of Aemond's "daddy domification" going way too far. I think he has it in him to rough someone up sexually but it wouldn't be pleasant for them. I think he's selfish, and he only considers his own pleasure/pain and not the pain or discomfort of others (minus that one scene where he apparently felt sorry for Jace, but post-eye-removal, they may have scrapped empathy entirely). I also think he's set up on screen to be this "woe is me", poor little white prince who feels sorry for himself more than he ever does for others, but when the fandom takes it at face value, that's when it gets really fucking annoying.

He burns the Riverlands for fuck's sake. He slaughters men, women and children because he cares about his own feelings of anger and betrayal more than how others will suffer because of them. There is very little feeling in him displayed onscreen, but because straight women have turned him into the archetypal "I'll fix him" trope, now we're seeing Frankenstein-headcanons of a man that doesn't actually exist in the story.

The thing about Aemond being set up as Daemon's foil is that Daemon is shown to care, whether it's about his niece or his brother. Aemond appears to care about nothing but himself. He is the ideal foil because he doesn't give a fuck (do not get me started on that stupid scene of him regretting Luke's death, and not the fact that his nephew is dead because of it).

If Alys is having a ball fucking with Daemon's head, she is not falling in love with a petty little prince like Aemond except to fuck with his head even worse.

I am very objective about Aemond and that's why people may accuse me of not liking him, but I can be very harsh on Aegon too so that's really not an issue.

[paintedpeeta]

Katniss falling once again while hunting (perhaps from a height) and this time allowing Peeta to wait on her hand and foot because he’s worried about his little wife and her injuries when he goes and looks and sees how high she fell from

stop because one of the most underrated aspects (in my opinion) of everlarks relationship is that little period of time in catching fire when katniss is injured and spends quite a bit of time with peeta, who works on the plant book with her and carries her up and down the stairs.

it’s such a brief glimpse into them experiencing normality and domesticity together, but it’s adorable and shows katniss turning to peeta for comfort when she’s in a vulnerable state. also it is so damn intimate to work on what is, essentially, an important (remember, katniss used this book to identify edible plants to keep her family alive) family heirloom with someone.

idk about y’all but i wouldn’t invite someone to fuck around with something like that unless i was planning on keeping them around forever. the subconscious is a crazy thing miss katniss girl.

katniss notes that it’s the first time she does something not games related with peeta, but come to think of it… it’s one of the few times we see her getting to do something in the series that isn’t directly linked to her survival. she’s just comfortable with him, she likes him being around, enjoys watching him work, rhapsodizes entirely platonically about his eyelashes (“bro your eyelashes are so long and golden colored in the sunlight… as a friend”).

now, imagine all this sweet and caring domesticity and ramp it up by 10 if we’re talking about her picking up an injury when they’re actually married. for a start peeta would be super worked up and agitated about her getting hurt. he’d probably nag at her about being more careful for a bit, but it comes from a place of love and concern. he reminds her that every time she goes out hunting she leaves him behind waiting for her, and she grumbles at the attempted guilt trip before conceding that he’s right.

should it be suggested, he would strictly ensure she remained on bed rest. this would mean carrying her around whenever she wanted a change of scenery, which she actually doesn’t mind. if she wants fresh air, he gets her wrapped up and takes her out to the front porch. at first, katniss is slightly resistant to his fussing but she would eventually back down, knowing he won’t budge. and then she starts to lean into it. it would be say an ankle injury, but she’d be like “could you please brush my hair?” because you know. it feels nice and he’s gentle and she’s too busy lazing across the couch like buttercup.

this time of course, they would have the memory book to work on to keep her occupied but i don’t think it would be something they did everyday as it’s heavy stuff. and so it’s peeta’s job to keep her entertained. he gives her drawing lessons and when that fails he has her mix his paints up or sharpen his pencils while he sketches. he gets her yarn from town so they can learn to knit together, and thread too so she can do some embroidery (you might not think this a very katniss-y hobby, dear anon, but she is very self-sufficient).

[runninguplenorahills]

Idk man, I said this before but I’ll say it again:

Saying “Mike is in love with the person who commissioned the painting/with Will’s feelings for him” is undermining byler and Mike’s feelings for Will!

Let me explain why:

When I talk about romantic love, right? You know what I’m talking about. And when you fall in love with a person, your friends might identify your behavior as being in love, etc. Simply because romantic love isn’t individual lmao. What I mean by that is that the feeling of being in love doesn’t change within each person! Of course it has its differences but at the core it’s all the same feeling! And feelings don’t stand on their own because of that! We all can feel feelings😭. We can literally have whole discussions about feelings because at it’s core we all feel the same thing when experiencing a certain emotion!

So when someone tells you how much they love you in the name of your partner, you’re gonna be happy about that because you think the feelings are attached to your partner! Someone could tell you the same exact thing in the name of a strictly platonic friend and you might get uncomfortable! But the feelings don’t change, it’s the person that does!

So apart from the fact that I think Mike has known LONG BEFORE the van scene that he’s in love with Will, If he didn’t know already and y’all think him being in love with the feelings Will has for him while thinking they’re from El (i also think that Mike understood they’re from Will btw) is good for byler…. Well, you’re incorrect💀. Mike’s not gonna be: “Oh so El doesn’t actually feel that for me? Guess I’m in love with Will then”… like bffr😭

Mike is not in love with a feeling someone else has for him, he’s in love with a person!! And if you think Mike actually thought Will was talking about El and it made him that happy, that means Mike was happy because it came from El, meaning he’s in love with her and then finding out that El doesn’t love him wouldn’t change that he’s still in love with her! This whole take is super ant!byler.

Take “Little Women” for example. Jo loves Laurie platonically! But Laurie falls in love with Jo. And Laurie confesses to her but she doesn’t wanna know. She doesn’t want him to be in love with her because she loves their friendship and doesn’t want it to be ruined. And Laurie tells her how he feels but that doesn’t change anything because what matters is the person and not the feeling! Jo doesn’t love him but Laurie continues to love Jo! Jo then meets Friedrich in New York and falls in love with him and what he feels for Jo is the same feeling Laurie felt for her but Jo accepts it from Friedrich because she loves him too! Both men were in love with her but she didn’t like hearing it from the one whose feelings she doesn’t reciprocate!! It made her super uncomfortable!

If Laurie had said the same thing he said while confessing his love to Jo in Friedrich’s name, Jo would’ve loved that! She would’ve been so happy! Because she thinks the feelings are Friedrich’s! Because she loves Friedrich but not Laurie! She’s in love with the person the feelings are attached to and not with the feelings on their own because that’s something that isn’t specific to one individual! And the same goes for Mike!

And my additional message is:

Mike isn’t oblivious to his feelings! And he isn’t bad at emotions either! Mike knows what he feels and he knows how to articulate it, and when he doesn’t do that it’s not because he doesn’t know how to! It’s because he doesn’t feel safe to do so. Mike already knows that he’s in love with Will! Not knowing it makes no sense for his character or his and Will’s dynamic! Mike is really observant and he knows what he feels! Mike understood Will in the van but was later on lead to believe that he misunderstood! Since the monologue Mike’s been under the impression that El actually commissioned the painting. He currently thinks that everything Will said wasn’t coming from him but from El and yk what? MIKE AND EL AREN’T TALKING! Mike isn’t talking to El either! He isn’t eager to discuss the painting with her because he’s disappointed that it’s from her! And furthermore he feels even more guilty now for not loving El the ways she wants him to. At first he thought it all came from Will and that’s what made him so happy! Because Mike is not in love with a feeling, HE’S IN LOVE WITH WILL AND HE KNOWS IT!!!

Mike is not going to be dumb and oblivious when the painting reveal happens! He’s not not gonna get that Will was talking about himself but he’s not gonna allow himself to entertain it again. It’s kinda like with Will. Will isn’t dumb either. He isn’t completely oblivious to Mike’s feelings for him but he doesn’t allow himself to hope because of how that turned out last time. Mike and Will aren’t stupid. They’re afraid! And so when Mike finally fully knows that the painting and what Will said in the van weren’t from El either, he’s not gonna be hurt that Will lied about it coming from El and be oblivious about it actually coming from Will, he’s gonna be hurt because Will had to lie about it all in order to make him feel better. He had to lie because there isn’t actually anyone that needs Mike. And Will “knows” that too. It’s this lying and sugar-coating and giving false hope that’s gonna push Mike over the edge because the whole painting situation combines and feeds into everything Mike is insecure about.

[digiblueslush]

Hello everybody!

My names Rory, and I’m back on tumblr for the bajillionth time and rebranding for the bajillionth time (seriously why did I ever leave in the first place, I love yall)

Anyways… here’s my whole spiel about who I am, what I do, etc.

^^^ where I post from lolz. Anyways, here are the basic stats

Name/what y’all can call me - Rory, Cyber Rory, idk anything else just not any of my old names if you know them

Age - 19

God what else do you put in these OH OMG

Pronouns - irl they/them, online they/it (and ask about neos if interested)

Sexuality/gender identity - i identify as bisexual, abrosexual, and gender-fluid (please do not use he/him or she/her even if I say I feel more masculine/feminine, they/them is always preferred)

What’s my deal - I’m an artist! Previously I never really posted my own stuff, but now I want to start doing that. Obviously I’ll still repost things I like, but it’s not gonna be my whole page lolz. I started taking my art more seriously since I switched my major from marine bio to a double major in art and psych (physics and chem are too hard) I’m currently not in school (I had to withdraw during the middle of my first semester due to mental health issues, but I’m going back this fall! So excited!!)

What kind of art? - glad you asked. Im really into Frutiger aero and cybercore at the moment, so that’s what I usually base my art around, but I really don’t have one set style/“aesthetic” in my art. I go in between Frutiger aero, cybercore, y2k, scene, mizuiro, and basically anything else that I can sneak the color blue in

Other fun things about me

Music I’m into - I don’t mean to be one of those “oh I’m into everything” kind of people, as it’s not fully true, but it’s true like 90% of the time. My favorite genres right now are metal core, emo, whatever Ayesha erotica, millionaires, and slayyyter are, and ambient instrumentals (more specifically cybercore ambience and the little big planet soundtrack) I will not listen to most country, and pop music is very hit or miss, but other than that I usually like everything else. Specific bands I’m into include bad omens, mcr, motionless in white, spiritbox, and pierce the veil

Shows/Animes I’m into - hot take but I really don’t like to watch tv *gasp* I know I know, but it’s so hard for me to start new shows and keep watching them, especially if episodes are longer than 20-30 mins. Even with anime I have a hard time watching shows that I wasn’t into over a year ago. I’m really into JJK, Haikyuu, Yuri on Ice (rip), the aquatope on white sands, and tbhk

Other things I’m into - just gonna dump them all here lolz. Blues clues, Winnie the Pooh, stuffed animals (NOT squishmallows, hot take sorry) deltarune/undertale, sally face, Fran bow, project sekai (forgot to put vocaloid in music lolz), and the ds and Wii era Nintendo

ALMOST DONE

I’ll be setting up either a card or a link tree hopefully soon, but I’m also on TikTok (regretfully) and instagram, both are @/cyber.rory13 if y’all are interested. Eventually I hope to open up commissions and/or a sticker and print shop, but for now I’m waiting til I have more traction on my socials as shops cost money, and I’ve been unemployed since October (starting work in may tho!) so I don’t want to make that investment quite yet. Commissions however, I’m open to the idea of them, so if you are interested feel free to message me and we can talk about details there (they will have to be digital or traditional transferred to digital). And finally, the moment like one of y’all has been waiting for, some of my actual art!

Digital

Traditional

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, my page is a safe place and feel free to reblog really engage anyway if you’d like to be mutuals! Slay queen!!

[redsparko]

I’ve come back for another Rina Kent thoughtly rant. Now disclaimer, when I make these rants, it’s not me shitting on Rina Kent. I ate up all 34 of the books in a MONTH. Do you understand how many books a day I had to read? I don’t but all I know is that they FED me in a time that I needed to feast.

But as a fellow writer and one who identifies with this area of writing and reading, I must pull through and in the hopes that the continuous talking and revelation about these things will help improve the writing in dark romance.

This rant is not just about Rina Kent, but can be applied to every other dark romance book or romance in general (considering that they’re all pretty similar).

We’re going to be talking about. Female relationships. Rina Kent being the butt end of this rant, sorry to y’all. I haven’t read much romance books or any other dark romance books so I have nothing else to recall from besides the Twisted and Kings of Sin series by Ana Huang but those aren’t exactly dark romance. But can be used in this rant. It’s just that I have better examples with explanations from RK’s books because I’m more obsessed with them.

Okay so, beginning. The female relationships in RK’s books are super shallow. Especially in comparison to the male friendships. Like, look at Cole and Aiden from the RES. They’ve got the parallels sort of dynamics. Cole is a borderline sociopath/psychopath just as Aiden is except he’s more secretive about it and Aiden is the literal embodiment of being an asshole on the outside. They have a compelling hate relationship and yet maintain a friendship (begrudgingly). Like, hell, they’ve got interactions that show off their dynamics that even go up decades when their kids are full grown (EliAva).

While the female relationships there is nothing to be really said. Like, Elsa and Kimberly. Yeah, they’re friends. Yeah, they be there for each other. Yeah. That’s it. Literally. That’s it. Maybe it’s just me and the need to always have chaos and shit but like. This is a story, isn’t having chaos bringing in more depth to the story? Making it more interesting? Problems in things make the things MORE COMPELLING.

Silver and Elsa’s whole shtick was so so good, but portrayed terribly juvenile. It’s not the worst thing so don’t come jumping to rip off my dick but I’m saying they had a lot of potential to be better friends than Kimberly, and Elsa cause. Imagine your enemy, not enemy, but someone who makes life hard for you, and you see them for their humanness and what they truly are. You guys may hate each other or despise each other but you see them less as someone to hate and more as someone to understand. Perhaps through this understanding you can find friendship.

Teal and Silver’s whole thing was interesting to. That I can justify and say that was done right to its best ability. Like, Silver and Teal using each other’s love interests for their own purposes? Sign me up, use me too.

Either way, Kimberly and Elsa are dry, maybe that’s all they are. Idk, perhaps to add more depth to their friendship we could have Kimberly being jealous and admiring Elsa for her boldness early on, and then acting differently to try and imitate her later on when she rid of her fat but not her insecurity. While we have Elsa out here, worrying for Kimberly, pointing out all the things she’s doing not as bold but as dangerous and toxic to herself and those she could possibly get in danger. Then Kimberly could claim Elsa is jealous etc etc, make the situation ugly and complicated. It won’t kill you but when the girls resolve it, trust me, their friendship and bond is stronger.

And if I hear people coming to me and being like “tHiS iS a RoMANCe GenRE nOT a SlIcE of LiFe or FrIENDshIp GenRe” THEN TELL ME WHY THE MALE RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING. WHY HAVE ROOM FOR THAT BUT NOT THE GIRLS?????

Cecily and Ava are fine, I can eat that. There’s underlying problems there waiting to wake up I just need them to be done well.

Ava and Annika’s issues were *chefs kiss* delicious. Ava threatening Annika because of Creighton. Ava blatantly showing her bias and side, basically saying she would choose Creighton over Annika if it ever came to. I loved that. I loved it so much I ATE IT. But I just wish we got to see more of it, the after effects of it. I don’t remember if they ever did but I wanted to see and read about the apology, and the sentiments of Ava to Annika and Annika to Ava. Would it be so hard? If we got to see Ava explaining her side to Annika and yet apologizing because it was brash and stupid to throw away her friendship because Creighton was also in the wrong for doing that to Annika? Yet Annika also being sorry and understanding of why Ava cares so much.

I’m saying it rn Book of Pain is my least favorite of the five. Another rant coming on that next time. Stay tuned.

Then there’s the giant ass glaring hole that is Glyndon King. Miss Girl never talks to her friends in her book. The Foursome was a lie, it’s a threesome considering the fact she’s NEVER THERE. Like I know these books are romance based but JESUS, can we also have some more complicated and depth into the other aspects of a dark romance based story? Would it not make the romance more delicious?

I know she’s introverted but at this point like… girl being introverted is your only personality trait. Which makes me so sad because GOM was one of my favorites and Glyndon is one of my favorites.

Mia and Maya had a good relationship, I say, the only thing to improve was the portrayal of it. I like their deep rooted and twin connection. Maya is a bitch but she’s Mia’s bitch. She’s family so Mia loves her because of it, despite all of Maya’s glaring flaws. Then it all falls apart when Mia finds out the secret. Isn’t that delicious? I mean a confusing betrayal sure. Like I don’t get why Mia was mad at Maya for being the cause of her trauma and muteness, I mean, wouldn’t it make more sense for her to want to find out why too? Mia is less emotional more methodical but still emotional especially when it comes to Landon but we can use that explanation for the other girls too which will come up in a rant about poor writing of characters.

Back to Mia and Maya, their relationship is good. It’s got the ups and downs and if only we got to see the downs through it but eh, I’ll take what I can get.

[sgt-morgan]

Sweet Thing🏞️🎶

Whiskey sunrise part 3

Whiskey Sunrise Masterlist

Pedro Masterlist

Summary: Everyone is very sentimental. Wounds still bleeding from loss, we all look to the past for happy memories, and when we do we find soulmates.

Warnings: none in particular, allusions to sex maybe? Idk. Anyway. AFAB! Female identifying reader, nicknamed reader. Also as per usual, all songs mentioned are not mine, they live in the whiskey sunrise playlist and all lyrics are the artist’s property.

A/N: I got hella sentimental on this one y’all, but next week the girls are gonna get to their scheme.

Frank has always been a believer in soulmates. Bill was like coming home when he first met him, the spark instantly catching between them and now years later they’re still together. Your mother and Father weren’t soulmates, no, Frank fully believes that his soul was for his children. The man was meant to be a father, and loved his children with ferocity until he was forced to leave them, and he was sure even in death the old bastard clung to you and Llewyn, protecting and comforting you as well he could from the beyond. Llewyn and Amber Lee were soulmates. He remembers watching the kid scramble to get into the production of Romeo and Juliet to be with her, and was not at all surprised when he proposed to her while they were still in high school, and he was even less surprised by the fact he never dated another when she died. Maria and Tommy were soulmates, their whirlwind romance and very predictable shotgun marriage was no surprise to the older man. He even believes Sarah and Ellie to be a kind of soulmates. The girls being siblings more true than blood could ever allow, in fact, he kinda felt sorry for whatever man and woman fell for them, because they would always have that troublesome super duo to deal with for the rest of their lives. You and Joel though, you and Joel were clearly meant to be from the beginning. Nothing had ever been more clear to the man, he can in fact remember to the moment when he realized, and it’s one of his most favorite memories.

In this memory you are seven. Your favorite uncles are visiting, and you all go to the river. Joel and Tommy come along, their overworked mother always happy to let them go off with your dad to give her some peace. The boys are unruly, and your ex military father can handle them.

Besides, as all of the adults in your lives knew, Joel was gonna complain until he saw you anyway, might as well give in before the whining starts. So they all go, the three men and four children are set to have a day of fun in the sun. Joel and Tommy’s mom graciously packed a lunch, you’re all slathered in sunscreen, and everyone is ready to have a good day.

You’re twirling around like a princess, the only girl of the group and they all treat you like you’re a delicate little flower. Back then you were, you cried at the drop of a hat, stray kitten? Dead bird? Crying baby? Movie? Sad commercial? Somebody talks to you a little too mean? You dissolve into tears. You were very sensitive, and very soft, and clocking in at the youngest made you the baby of the group. Woe betide any man who would go on to hurt you in the future, and a speedy recovery to whoever hurt you in the present, you were a well protected individual, and you needed to be. You were naive, always believing everyone only held the best intentions, and being so easily crushed when they didn’t.

Joel is besotted with you. Has been from the moment you met. He’s 8 years old, and he knows with clear certainty that this dancing six year old has got some kind of hold on him, a hold he doesn’t have a name for yet, but feels with an intensity of someone thrice his age. He loved her vibrancy. As a kid who quickly became ‘the man of the house’ when his dad died, she is such a clear picture of unbridled joy and levity he never really got. Nobody messes with Sugar if he can help it, not even Tommy and Llewyn, his two best friends in the world.

Tommy and Llewyn liked to pick, they picked on Sugar, and sometimes Joel, and mostly at each other, but they sometimes go too far. They don’t mean it, lord knows the two boys never intend to upset anyone, their brand of affection just borders on mean sometimes. They were two peas in a pod in that way, always tugging on each other one way or another trying to get the other to crack. They think it’s funny, and Joel thinks it’s annoying, but sugar? Well… sugar doesn’t get it.

Sugar’s latest obsession is being ‘lady like.’ She watched one too many princess movies and she’s decided that if she wants to be a princess, all she has to do is mind her manners. She has been parading around in a plastic tiara and dresses for weeks, and today is no exception. The three adults are sat on the river bank, drinking beers and dipping their toes in the river, while the kids are running and splashing around. Sugar is splashing along the edge, picking up pretty rocks and Joel is watching her with an eagle eye while he sits with the adults and listens to them tell stories about the tours they’ve worked on and the wars they’ve fought. He was an introspective kid, it’s what made him and Llewyn good songwriters later on in life. Then he peaks trouble on the horizon. Tommy and Llewyn have approached the girl, linking arms with her and lifting her slightly. She harrumphs any angry ‘get off me!’ The two boys plop her in the water with a giggle, soaking her through. She’s a sad sight as they run off giggling at being chased down by your dad. You’re sniffling in the water and sucking back your tears to not be seen as a ‘cry baby’ and Joel scrambles to go to you.

“Oh boy.” Frank giggles, bumping shoulders with Bill to point out the boy scrambling to the waters edge to make you feel better while your dad scolds your scoundrel brother and his partner in crime.

“Oh no, well, at least I will know the man I’ll have to threaten when she goes to prom.” Bill grumbles, wrapping an arm around his partner who is diligently snapping photos of Joel straightening your tiara and lifting you from the water.

Frank smiled when he saw the way Joel played the knight in shining armor to a tee. He helps you ring out your dress and smoothes your hair, before giving an exaggerated bow and proceeding to shove Tommy and Llewyn headfirst into the river when they came to apologize. Your father rolls his eyes as he approaches his best friends, flopping g down with a huff and muttering "Those two are meant to be, I know it."

Now it was early morning, you and Joel were sitting on the patio, playing guitar and chatting about the day ahead. You were waiting for the girls to wake up, and you were noodling back and forth on some songs you’d both gotten an ear for. Elephant in the Corn by Nickel Creek you think. One of those moments where you just get the mood to play around with a song, and you remember moments similar to this when you were eighteen and he was twenty and you wrote a song that would change your lives for good.

“Then like a- yeah! That! Good!” Joel laughed a bit as you carefully plunked out the next part of the tune you were writing. He presses a kiss to the Side of your forehead, he can’t remember a time in his life when he was happier than this.

“So what’s next.” You giggle enthusiastically, grabbing his jaw and turning to kiss him.

“Next is- well let’s see.” He gives an over exaggerated frown and you laugh.

“I know it ain’t All that late

but you should probably leave.

And I recognize that look in your eyes

Yeah you should probably leave.”

Your eyes glimmer and you look at him in awestruck recognition. There’s that look he’s singing about, he thinks with a grin. He picks a jaunty little riff and you laugh.

“Joel Miller-“ he cuts you off with another lyric and you laugh disbelieving.

“‘Cause I know you

And you know me

And we both know

where this is gonna lead

You want me to say

that I want you to stay

So you should probably leave.”

You laugh out loud and continue what he started.

“There’s still time

for you to finish your wine

Then you should probably leave.” You croon, grin infectious.

He laughs and plucks some more notes and continues the lyric you’ve started.

“And it’s hard to resist,

Alright, Just one kiss.” He leans forward and lays one on you while you’re still giggling. “Then you should probably leave. Go again on the chorus.” He sings and you grin strumming along, doing your best to add in a harmony. Then Joel leans real close and sings a bridge.

“Like the devil on my shoulder

you been whispering in my ear

And it’s gettin kind of hard for me

To do the right thing here.

I wanna do the right thing baby.”

You grin and picture all the nights he was singing about, you sneaking in the window of his little matchbox house he shared with Llewelyn and Tommy, talking, laughing, kissing, whatever. You’re not ashamed to say Joel was your first. Hell if it came to it, you’re pretty sure everyone in your life would be glad it was Joel, but testing that theory was not something you felt like doing. You remember all the nights you’ve spent since, pressed together in his room on a too small mattress, waking up to him running his hand up your back as the morning sun haloed him in the light of day, making him look like some kind of Angel. Then as if reading your mind Joel comes back in.

“Sun on your skin

Six AM and I’ve been watching you sleep

And honey I’m so afraid

You’re gonna wake up and say

That you should probably leave.”

The song you wrote that day would go on to win you Grammys for best new artists, country song, and country album, and then some. All because of one little songwriting session on your front porch, and mornings spent in sappy, lovestruck, bliss with Joel.

You look radiant. Your bare face looks tear stained, but Joel can still see the echoes of all the smiles in your eyes while you bask in the glow of the sun. The beat up six string you’re plucking on was a gift. He gave it to you on your sixteenth birthday. He remembers working long hard days in the blistering sun that summer to get it for you. Being a ranch hand was no easy feat but the owner of the ranch was kind, and the pay was as decent as he could expect at 18 with no prior experience in the field so to speak. He learned a lot of valuable lessons that summer, and one of them was that there was no greater value to be had in anything than the value he found in your smile. The joy in your eyes and the kiss he received proved that point a million times over he thinks.

replacing your dad’s beat up old twelve string was a gift unto itself.

His heart ached to think about you having waited all day to celebrate your sixteenth birthday for him. You were a vision of beauty, sitting on your front porch, barefoot, hair blowing in the gentle breeze. You’re leaning on your hands, a piece of cake sitting next to you with a fork sticking out of it. The radio is playing a Van Morrison tune, he can’t place it from this distance, but he knows it’s a perfect soundtrack to the beautiful girl who has waited all evening for the likes of him.

“Joel!” When you finally spot him, your face eclipses the sun in its radiance, and he counts himself lucky it was him who put it there.

“Hey Sugar baby.” He laughs, swinging you up into his arms.

“I saved you cake,” you grinned. He still held you up high and you looked down at him with your hands on his shoulders, leaning down to give him a kiss. “There was pizza but Tommy and Llew got to it before I could blink. I made sure there was cake for you though, couldn’t let my favorite sugar fiend go without.” He grins, so happy to have someone be so considerate of him for once.

It was different for Joel, his mom died last year and because he and Tommy were 16 and 17 years old with a place to crash, they had to work extra hard to keep up, Joel taking the brunt of the burden because it was easier for him to get a job. He was so used to being the protector and provider, it warmed his soul when someone did the same for him. You were considerate like that though, you noticed everything and appreciated all. Even remembering his famed love of sweets and making sure there was enough for him. It’s a small thing, but it’s still something he’s grateful for.

“You didn’t have to Sugar, I got the sweetest thing in the world right here.” He grinned bumping noses with you and laughing.

“Ugh, that was sappy.” You playfully scrunch your nose in disgust. Then the longer you looked at him, the softer your eyes became, and once again he was dazzled by how much he loved every second he had with you. “I’m glad you’re here cowboy.”

“Hey, check this out.” He puts you down and reached into his truck and pulls out the gift, a black guitar case with a red bow, when you open it you gasp, tears flooding your eyes and he grins as you practically tackle him with kisses.

“Joel oh my god!” You squeal, kissing him hard on the lips. It makes him damn near breathless. When you let him go he was dazed and grinning like mad. He was so Star struck he swore he could hear the angels singing, but the clearer his head got the more it sounded like Tommy and Llew laughing at his dumbstruck grin.

While it was fun for recreating Beatles tunes, the twelve string wasn’t much good for the music you were wanting to make, and the sound you were trying to accomplish. Watching you play the new guitar he got you for the first time, was like untethering you from some strange shackle, your playing was improved by tenfold because you weren’t having to compensate for six extra strings, but the most important thing was it made you happy. He loved the giddy joy the shitty cheap guitar gave you, and he promised he’d do whatever he could for the rest of his life to keep that smile on your face. If only he could have kept it.

Inside the house, your family was still making plans. The adults at the table looking out the window and murmuring about how they would get you alone, but the teens were in their rooms, planning what would happen once they did.

“Research. Let’s do research.” Sarah nodded, pulling out her phone and pulling up the early interviews of the band.

“Dude, we’re their kids, what’s a fuckin interview gonna tell us that we don’t know already?” Ellie snorted, still squishing into her sister to see the screen. The interview was a song association thing, and Ellie hadn’t seen them do anything so quaint in a long time. At this point in their careers, these fun buzzfeed and side show interviews were few and far between. Not that they didn’t happen, they did, popular internet corners attracting big stars or whatever, but you just didn’t really do interviews much anymore so when you did do then they were generally saved for prime time.

“Yeah, I get that, but before they were all that, some of these interviews held some nuggets of truth yah know? Stuff they told before they started censoring.” Sarah shrugged and pressed play.

“Hi I’m Llewyn Davis,” Llewyn winked at the camera.

“I’m Tommy Miller.” Tommy salutes.

“I’m Sugar Davis.” Your smile was bright and they noticed Joel was staring at you like you hung the moon.

“And that’s Joel Miller.” You grinned squishing his face as he scowled his usual grimace.

Then all at once you all said “And this is The Family Affair.”

“We’re here to play a game of song association.” Llewyn said, handing Joel a guitars before picking up his own.

“We’re gonna be the best to ever play. Watch.” You giggle, ruffling Tommy’s hair.

“Sugar is so sure of our prowess, because before we got big we were a house band for a bar and we took many many requests.” Tommy laughs, batting you off playfully.

“Baby Boy, we will be the best.” You nodded again, grabbing a slip from the bowl.

“First word?” She groans and hands it to Llewyn who cackled. “Lost.”

“Joel?” He sing songs.

“Yeah?” He grumbled with an upturned lip.

“I think she’s lost that loving feeling.” Joel chuckles at Llewyn’s obvious reference and starts strumming.

“No she hasn’t.” Joel laughs.

“Yes she has goose, She’s lost it man.” Llewyn grins.

“I hate it when she does that.” Joel mutters and the Llewyn sings.

“You're trying hard not to show it

But baby, baby I know it

You lost that lovin' feelin'

Whoa, that lovin' feelin'

You lost that lovin' feelin'

Now it's gone, gone, gone, whoa-oh.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen that was Lost That Loving Feeling by the incomparable Righteous Brothers” Llewyn laughs.

“The boys were obsessed with the film Top Gun for a long time.” Sugar laughs. “It’s also an instant crowd pleaser in any bar with a military presence.”

“Truth. That and Top Gun is the shit.” Tommy nods and picks the next paper.

“Our word… is…. Season.”

Sugar dramatically throws her arms out and smacks Joel and Llewyn and begins singing. She animatedly sings the lyrics to a musical both the girls know very well at this point, it being one of their mother’s favorites.

“Everything has its Season!

Everything has its time.

Show me a reason

and I’ll soon show you a rhyme.

Cats sit in a windowsill

Children sit in the snow

Why do I feel I don’t fit in anywhere I go?”

She grabs Joel’s shoulders and holds a fake microphone, sliding a hand down Joels face as his eyes roll.

“Rivers belong where they can ramble

Eagles belong where they can fly

I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free

Gotta find my corner of the sky.”

“THAT.” Sugar exclaims when she’s done, slinging an arm around a rather annoyed looking Joel. “Was Corner of the Sky from the musical Pippin. In high school, I played Fastrada and had the time of my young life. I got to be the villain, I loved that role.” She sighs and Joel playfully muttered ‘And I loved the leotard.’ Causing sugar to laugh, and Tommy and Llew to gag.

“Our next word is… Joy.” Llewyn grinned. A few more songs went on like this, them taking turns pulling words from the bowl, until a very intriguing word was pulled by Joel.

“Our word is Sweet. Hit it Llew.” he grinned standing and Pulling Sugar to her feet, nodding at Llewyn who grinned and started playing the opening chords to ‘Sweet Thing’ by Van Morrison. Then, Joel began to sing.

“And I will stroll the merry way and jump the hedges first

And I will drink the clear, clean water for to quench my thirst

And I shall watch the ferry-boats, and they'll get high

On a bluer ocean against tomorrow's sky

And I will never grow so old again

And I will walk and talk in gardens all wet with rain

Oh, whoa-oh, sweet thing, this sweet thing

Eh-hey, yeah, sweet thing, yeah

Yeah-yeah-yeah, my, my, my, my sweet thing.”

The whole time he sang he swayed a giggling and blushing Sugar around the space in a slow dance while Tommy and Llewyn fondly laughed and played along.

“It’s Sweet Thing by Van Morrison. That’s our song.” Joel shrugged by way of explanation, never a man of many words. Sugar smiled and kissed him sweetly on the cheeks and his lips tilted up in a small grin, as was his way.

“This has been song association, and we’ve been the Family Affair, and this is once again Van Morrison.” Llewyn started up the Chorus again and Joel more than willingly stood to dance with you again as the video showed the credits and the people on set as they all continued to sing Van Morrison together. Old tour dates scrolled across the screen and the girls sighed, watching how happily in love you were.

“They were so cute.” Sarah muttered, and Ellie nodded.

“So their song is by Van Morrison. I didn’t know that. What else can we learn.” Ellie mutters and clicks on the next video.

“Hi we’re The Family Affair and this is our wired auto complete interview.” Llewyn starts and reaches for a board, smacking Tommy with it immediately.

“Is The Family Affair from Texas?” Llewyn peels the sticker and puts it on Joel’s knee. Joel peels it and hands it to you and you crumple it up and toss the tiny ball and it lands in Llewyn’s hair, causing you and Joel to have to stifle your laughter while Llew answers the question. “Yes we’re from Arlington Texas, home of the Bowie High Volunteers. Go Vols.” Llew pumps an arm and you all laugh with a ‘Go Vols!’

“Is the Family Affair a family band?” Llew peels and sticks it to Tommy who promptly takes it and uses it to tape his mouth shut.

“I guess I’ll answer.” Sugar laughs. “Yes, we’re two sets of siblings, so we consider ourselves a family band.”

“Is there a couple in The Family Affair.” Tommy reads, after Llew peels, still pretending he can’t talk with his mouth taped closed. When the question is read,

Llew rips off the tape and answers.

“Yes, Tommy and I have been happily married since 2008.” Tommy grins and they lean in to pretend to kiss each other, and Joel sticks a board between them.

“Sugar and I are dating.” He grumbles and Sugar kisses him on the cheek. They move onto a board all about Joel.

“Does Joel Miller ever speak?” The whole band answers ‘No.’ and they move on.

“Does Joel Miller act?” Was the next question and he looks confused as Sugar giggles.

“No he does not, but his actual twin Pedro Pascal certainly does.” She giggles and Joel rolls his eyes. “Quit it Joel, you know that man is your twin, don’t be bitter.”

Sarah and Ellie giggle. “Dad does kinda look like Pedro though, it’s true. We should do the Mandalorian as a family costume.” Ellie laughs. “I’ll paint myself green and say ‘Patu’ a lot.”

“Does Joel Miller have a daughter?” Joel smiles and answers for once. “I do, I actually kinda have two, I have my Sare Bear and my Bellie.” He grins and the girls smile fondly at their dad on the screen. Even if Joel wasn’t her real dad, Ellie would always be glad that he claimed her. His answer earned him another kiss from Sugar and he smiled.

“Is Sugar Davis single.” Sugar pretended to think about it and Joel bonked her on the head with a board. “No, Sugar is happily dating Joel Miller.”

“Is Sugar Davis a mom?” She grinned and pulled up her phone, showing her lock screen to be a picture of Sarah and Ellie in ugly Christmas sweaters. “Yes, I have my Ellie Bell and my Silly Sarah. If we were to answer honestly, Ellie is mine and Sarah is Joel’s, but they’re our babies.” She grins and Joel kisses her knuckles.

“Is Sugar Sugar’s real name?” This strip is placed over Llew’s mouth again as he tried to answer, probably with some horrid nickname. “No, but a Lady never tells.” She winks. They move on to the next question.

“What is Sugar’s perfect date?” They all laugh at that question and shake their heads. “I presume this has something to do with that interview you did for Rolling Stone?” Tommy laughs squeezing his brother’s kneecap.

“I don’t know Sugar, what do you think?” Joel grumbles, wrapping an arm around you.

“I think ours are similar.” She shrugs, twisting her fingers through Joel’s. “A good dinner, a walk around the park with Ice cream, a good movie, taking the kids to the Aero Space museum and getting in trouble for kissing in the model rocket.” She shrugs and Joel laughs a deep belly laugh.

“That’s it Sarah!” Ellie laughs, throwing up her hands in victory. “We can make them the perfect date night.”

Sarah squeals and throws her arms around her excited sister. “We did it!” She grinned, ecstatic that they were able to pull it off from just a couple YouTube videos. “Now we gotta get everyone else in on it.”

A conspiratorial thirty minutes later, they had come up with a plan, get them to go out together for a day, get them on a date. Starting today with their trip to the museum.

-

-

-

-

-

[tame-a-messenger]

Also I love how people are talking about assuming people sexualities when neither of us have ever made it seem like they’re cishet. I swear people just assume Angela is lesbian or something with the amount of people I’ve seen say they can never imagine or ship her with a man. I know she’s probably not straight I mean she was in a show that was for queer comedians but I honestly think if anything she’s bisexual because I’m pretty sure she had a boyfriend a few years ago and I know she’s used he/him to reference relationships and dating but again queer show so obviously not straight. Also she could be like Damien who’s cis and straight but on the ace spectrum. Last I heard Damien was ace flux but didn’t identify as part of the lgbt community though because he is cishet outside of that and he didn’t feel oppressed or anything due to being aceflux (idk exactly the clip is on tumblr somewhere). That was like a year ago though so maybe he’s changed his mind. But regardless of if they’re lgbt or not that doesn’t change anything I’ve said and I lowkey don’t like people accusing me of assuming things when they’re assuming things themselves. Bc seriously I’ve seen so many people say they can’t imagine Angela with a guy (and I’m pretty sure I know who that anon is bc I saw someone say exactly that and then call out romantic Damangela as an example). Don’t accuse me of assuming Angela is straight (when I’ve never said that) when y’all are basically assuming she’s a lesbian even though she has definitely referenced men in terms of relationships. The hypocrisy is funny 🤷‍♀️. Ok sorry now THIS one might’ve gotten too aggressive lol. If you think this one might cause problems for any reason feel free not to post it. I don’t want to cause too much trouble or drama for you (I say as I’m feeding the drama 😅)

No I totally agree with you the Anon saying it’s “bad to assume” as they assume the same thing (and also assumed A lot of things about my askers) in the opposite direction was probably bad wording, but I understand what they were getting at with that whole thing. (even if they were doing a LOT of assuming when that’s what they were very peeved about) “shipping real people that you don't know is weird” is I think the big thing that went unsaid in that post, at least as I understood it. 

To that I’ll have to say, they both are over 30 years old. they are fully grown adults, what kids say on the internet is not really going to change their life. The only POSSIBLE way that that would be weird for them is if ENTIRE comments sections were full of shipping and people being genuinely ANGRY that they aren’t dating. (we’ve seen this happen all over the internet, even at Smosh with Ianthony etc.) Even with Ianthony they played into it.

I do try to keep it as neutral as possible here though,(at least on the shipping front) but this blog does not welcome Smosh Cast and Crew. It’s a fan blog that I’d like to stay in it’s corner of the internet.

[these-written-reveries]

About Me!

*I figured I would make a little post to tell y’all a bit about myself. If you’re interested, keep reading!

» Hi, I’m Kalista! I also go by Kal, or whatever other sweet name you wanna call me 🥰

» I’m 25

» My pronouns are she/her

» I identify as demisexual and lesbian/queer 🌈

I know it may be silly/confusing to hear this, considering I mostly write/post/fawn over fictional men. To sum it up: I like men in theory, not in practice.

» I have autism and adhd (audhd). This discovery about myself has opened many doors to self-acceptance that were previously locked by shame and confusion. I’m very proud of my neurodivergence!

» I am also physically disabled. I have a nice lil’ handful of chronic conditions lol. I like to laugh about it because it’s the best way to cope through the misery.

» I’m a “maladaptive daydreamer”. Have been since I was a child. Reading/writing was always a primary outlet for me to cope with and escape my reality and delve into dream worlds. Fanfiction was a huge part of that, so I’m very grateful for it.

» Music is a big inspiration for me when it comes to…just about everything. But especially my writing. I also have a very eclectic taste in music. I like at least a little bit of almost everything.

Favorite artists/bands: Lake Street Dive, Chappell Roan, Taylor Swift, Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks, Shania Twain, Anna Calvi, Ashnikko, Superknova, Sammy Rae & The Friends, Ella Fitzgerald, Laufey, Hozier, BTS, Sabrina Carpenter, Nine Inch Nails (I’m trying not to list a lot, it’s very hard 🙈)

» Some of my fav shows: Supernatural, New Girl, My Hero Academia, Stranger Things, Pose, Grace and Frankie, Ouran High School Host Club, Sherlock, Haunting of Bly Manor, Orange is the New Black, Why Women Kill

» Some of my fav movies: Howl's Moving Castle, Joker, Batman: The Dark Knight, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Pirates of the Caribbean (1-3), Ratatouille, Legally Blonde (2001), Beauty and the Beast (1991), Peter Pan (2003), Princess Diaries (1 & 2)

» Brevity is not my expertise. Can you tell?

» I love rats! Had 8 of them as pets, but decided to stop caring for more due to my disabilities and busyness of life that made it hard to keep going with it. I do not intend on having kids, so I hope in the future I can get back to being a rattie mom again. I also want cats…yeah, idk how I’m gonna make that work 🤭

» I live in America…It’s not fun here, guys…😭

» I'm working on writing a novel that will likely become a series! Not sure whether I'll decide to go with a publisher or self-published yet. I am still in the early-ish stages of worldbuilding and whatnot, so I have plenty of time to figure that out! This is my dream and I’m working hard to make it happen!

» One of the reasons I am committing myself to getting back to writing and posting fics again is because I want to keep my writing skills sharp while I work on my novel. I want to learn and grow and challenge myself more to become a better and more confident writer. The other reason is because I have held myself back for so long from doing this out of fear of not being good enough. I’m quite frankly tired of holding myself back from the things I want and I’m working on healing these parts of myself. This is part of that process! So, for those who have read my fics, thank you for supporting me! I very much appreciate you! ❤️

» I’m always open to making new friends, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to me -I promise I don’t bite!

I can’t really think of much else right now. Thanks for reading if you’ve made it all the way through! If you have any questions about me or wanna talk about something I wrote here, you can certainly send me an ask/message -just please be respectful, of course!

Hope you have a wonderful day/night wherever you are! 💖

[serotonincemetery]

Hello! I’m Serotonin.Cemetery! I came over here from Wattpad to share my work!

I am a fanfic writer who has very unhealthy hyperfixations that lead to no sleep as well as a moderate caffeine dependency.

Uhhhhh, are boundaries a thing on here? eh I’m putting ‘em anyways.

You can call me Sero or Nin

(Or Mars, yk who you are one singular person ily /p)

I go by He/Him

please do not refer to me as “she” or “they”

I am transgender, don’t let that differentiate me from other people.

Don’t be creepy or weird, have some decency.

Following that ^ any NSFW adult photo accounts will be blocked. Though I will make the decision at some point to start writing NSFW but for now its a no. For the same reason of “dont be weird” I do not want to be engaged in such content. But if others do, I don’t control them.

(Though if any nsfw blogs((non bot)) like my non-nsfw content, I take that as a compliment because them mfs have HIGH expectations)

If you request something, I reserve the right to say no.

If my asks are closed. They are closed. No asking and trying to get it done. They are closed for a reason.

MY ASK BOX IS OPEN! I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS!! (idk how to ask this but also just describing things? I like hearing people explain things and describe objects due to the fact I struggle to do so)

Are a proshipper, incest shipper (includes adoptive and step siblings), pedo shipper, anti LGBTQIAP+, misgender trans/enby folks, gatekeep labels, racist, sexist, anti-semitic, islamophobic, fatphobic, ableist otherwise bigoted (includes neurodiversity, body shaming, MAPS/PEARS)

✅Platonic relationships

✅Romantic relationships

✅Fluff

✅Angst

✅Prompts

✅Family Dynamics

✅Gore

✅Requests

✅Poly Relationships

✅POC

✅Disabilities

❌Smut

❌Limes

❌R*pe

❌Addition of an OC in an “X Reader”

❌Sexualizing of minors

❌Things that go against people’s boundaries

❌Things where two characters are different versions of one character and those two being shipped. Idk what its called but I absolutely refuse to write that.

❌Fem aligned Readers

‼️Most, if not all my works will now be done in AMAB perspective, and/or Gender Neutral perspective.

‼️I AM A NWLNW FANFIC BLOG ANY WORKS WITH A FEM ALIGNED READER ARE FROM YEARS AGO WHEN I IDENTIFIED AS FEM ALIGNED.

‼️I reserve the right to say “No” to an ask/request.

‼️Any NSFW asks will be met with an immediate “NO” As well as any asks that violate my boundaries

‼️ I know that y’all younger people don’t listen to the MDNI thing or “Dont read if under 18”. So just for the sake of simple hospitality. Don’t interact with my work. All my work is 16+ at minimum

ALL WORKS ARE ALSO FROM MY OFFICIAL WATTPAD. PLEASE DON’T COPYRIGHT OR ACCUSE ME OF PLAGIARISM

Mental Health Helpline

1 (877) 303 2642

Addiction Services Helpline

1 (886) 332 2322

Distress/Suicide Hotline

1 (780) 482 4357

Victim Services

1 (780) 968 7272

Sexual Assault Centre

1 (780) 423 4121

Child Abuse Hotline

1 800 387 5437

Kids Help Phone

1 800 668 6868

MY TAGS:

serotonin.writes

Where you will find my fics

serotonin.rants

Where you will find my bullshit

serotonin.talks

Where you will find my ask responses or any other thing when I engage with you

serotonin.doodles

Where you find my art. I promise I can do art, I take advanced art classes, I just typically have an empty brain

PFP MADE BY Humesteria ON PICREW

You can find that here

My masterlist is currently under reconstruction because this app decided to be a prick

My requests are open!

None yet!!

[buysomecheese]

The ship dynamic where like ugh ok so A and B were either childhood friends or young lovers and it’s Always Them even if there are other people for them it ends up being ‘A-and-B’ (i.e. Cory-and-Topanga, Wolf-and-Snake, The Bishop (Sarah Black and John Hart), Wendy-and-Tolkien) and they’ve been through their Shit and they’re established and they work so well together but then C comes along

And sometimes C has always been there, loving both of them but not being able to do anything about it because it’s ‘A-and-B and C’ and will never be ‘A-and-B-and-C’. Hell, sometimes A or B even had a thing with C in the past that didn’t work out for whatever reason so it’s over and done and C is just watching wistful from afar (Shawn, Stan)

Other times C is someone entirely new, who shakes up A-and-B’s whole world so much that they have no chance but to notice. They’re really good at the same job, or the banter is just such a new pace but one part of A-and-B just.. really appreciates it. C, however much they like both A-and-B, knows it’s never gonna include them so is very cautious about Everything relating to them (Diane, Nolan Booth)

But either way, A-and-B have a conversation- it’s more difficult for one of them than it is the other (Cory (because it’s always been there but he hasn’t been able to identify so it’s like difficult all around for him y’know he goes through the 5 stages of grief simultaneously), Snake, John Hart (similar to Cory except he’s upset about it), Tolkien) and they approach C and they are Beyond confused. They don’t believe it, this has got to be a prank or something. A-and-B are making fun of them- except C knows they would never do that, not like this. C will just have to leave, as to not disturb the peace A-and-B have created…

But A-and-B want it to be A-and-B-and-C

Of course, one part of A-and-B has more difficulty adjusting than the other (Topanga, Snake, John Hart, Tolkien)- they and C fight, they’re petty, it takes a lot of reassurance but they want this to work for their hinge (idk what else to call them I’m talking about like the Cory and Wolf characters) so them and C get to know each other one-on-one, they figure their shit out. It’s still more turbulent than just A-and-B was, but with time it becomes easier etc. etc.

AUGH it’s just so much I could talk about each individual ship So Much (especially Shawn-and-Cory-and-Topanga I’m currently watching BMW and they mean SO MUCH to me) so I think I will because this is my blog y’all get to see my opinions!!! This is just like my main/favorite hc of how it happens I Loveee playing around with timelines for angst or smut hehe

Shawn-and-Cory-and-Topanga

So ok I’ve like Not watched past s2 yet but idc I love them. I think that Topanga figured it out- watched Cory’s reactions to Shawn’s “babe” one too many times, noticed Shawn finding Cory in a room first every single time, woke up more often then she thought was normal with the taste of Shawn’s lips on hers (referencing that one ep where they kissed for some reason? Idk haven’t watched it yet but ik it happens I’ve read fanfic), felt Shawn’s hand brush against her free hand all the time in the halls. She decides enough is enough, sits Cory down- she’s smart, she’s not mad, is he in love with Shawn? Yes Topanga, of course he’s in love with Shawn, you can’t be friends with someone for this long without being in love with them. No Cory, not like that- does he love Shawn the way he loves Topanga.

And oh, the look of slow realization on Cory’s face says so many things.

He’s relaxed (this is just a fact of life for him), he’s confused (what does she mean ‘the same way’, of course he loves them the same), he’s upset (she’s not mad but he is- how could he not have realized for so long? If she doesn’t mind now then how long could he have had his wildest dreams? How long with them did he miss out on?), he’s scared (what could this mean for all of them?), he’s anxious (this is weird, what could his Shawn possible think about this?).

Topanga holds his face, calms her Cory down a bit- me too, she says, for much less time I’m sure, but me too. We can work this out, she insists, we’ll talk to him and explore our options.

And of course, when they finally sit Shawn down with them, he doesn’t- can’t- believe it. This is some sick joke, why would they want him of all people? They could literally have anyone they wanted at any time, why him and why now? But no, they just keep saying it. I love you. We love you. It’s always been you, Shawn, I just couldn’t see it- be glad Topanga only waited this long to tell me and not longer. If you don’t believe my words, Shawn, believe my dreams- do you want me to recount them right now? They’re a bit explicit for a first conversation, but I could start with- and on and on and on.

Now both of them calming him down, they come to a consensus: Shawn can think it over for as long as he needs, Cory-and-Topanga will act with him exactly as they always have until he says otherwise. Topanga is already guessing at his answer, but Cory has barely ever been more nervous in his life.

Of course, it works out for the better- Shawn comes back, he needs them in his life as much as they need him. That’s all they know and they’ll work out the intricacies later. Topanga and Shawn, who already have a sort of ‘war’ over Cory, find themselves falling into that back-and-forth sometimes still, but then one of the three starts looking sad and apprehensive and they Converse instead and make it nice (of a tad tense) for the rest of the evening, allowing them to bounce back right in the morning. Shawn has some old habits he really needs to work to kick (isolation mainly), but every time he’s feeling that way the other two know when to hold on with their whole strength and when to welcome him back with open arms.

Snake-and-Wolf-and-Diane

Ok so fully I think Snake (hc: Niraj) is a gay man but like he loves Wolf (canon: Moe) so much and they both fuck around outside of each other so it’s chill that Moe hangs out with Diane now, so often. Until Snake does find himself getting jealous, feeling pushed aside; he’s planning his escape, how he’s gonna deal with not only leaving Wolf without a word, but also the only family he’s had in years. And what really sucks is that Diane is wonderful, she’s so great for Wolf- she’s not some old jaded person, she’s Wolf’s age, full of life and love, Snake’s exact opposite. So he assumes that it’s time for him to leave, again.

He packs his bag, gets halfway to the next town before the whole gang is blowing up his phone. He can’t drive so they (Moe-and-Diane; Niraj has already accepted that his place has been taken) catch up with him fast enough. Diane’s driving; Moe is shaking so much he can barely hold his Niraj, tears streaming down his face.

“You can’t do that to us, Snake! I- we thought you were dead!”

“… just though I should get out of the way before you have to tell me to go, is all.”

It’s a whole thing, they’re both yelling at each other. Diane doesn’t know where she fits into this, so she just drives them home when they’re done yelling. She’s a bit scared, but she does love them both and she knows how much Moe needs Snake.

A lot of talking, a lot of compromise, a lot of reassurance from Moe. Diane offers to step out multiple times but they keep her there, because as much as it’s about Niraj-and-Moe it’s also about Diane. Etc. etc. this ship especially is a slow go, takes a long time to become functional again, but it is so worth it once they get there. (Snake is a big believer of ‘a hole’s a hole’ and also Diane is big on pegging so it does work out sexually even if outside of that they’re just really good friends who share a boyfriend but tbh it just like clockwork with how good everything is ugh I love this movie tremendously. Also Diana and Webs definitely flirt more than ‘friends joking’ and the whole lot of them are a bit polyamorous/anarchist in their relationships)

John Hart-and-Sarah Black-and-Nolan Booth

They like Have a canon ‘hey let’s try this throuple thing out’ scene it’s where Nolan is on their boat and is like ‘you guys fuck so loud you weren’t the only ones crying’ and Sarah is like ‘you’re eating raw pork rn’ and they’re all so silly and then John and Sarah have their ‘do you trust me?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Do you love me?’ ‘Always.’ ‘Then that’s all we need’ scene and that’s literally Sarah going ‘her babe you literally want to have sex with him so bad just give the romance part a try. I think you guys would be so cute together and also I think he’s really sweet and cute and I kinda want to kiss him as well let’s try this out please.’ And John begrudgingly agrees and the procession of events is so funny after that (to viewers)

John doesn’t think he’s attracted to men so he’s Incredibly confused about all of this. Nolan is confused as to why he feels like this couple- the hottest couple to exist, by the way, his words and you can quote him on it- seems to be.. coming onto him? Sarah is having so much fun scheming about this she is loving this.

Nolan and Sarah bond over Taylor Swift music. John slowly gains respect for Nolan during different heists they pull, and Nolan becomes less scared of John with every small compliment (or rather, lack of a critique). It actually does cause some rifts between John and Sarah but they’ve overcome everything before, them liking some guy isn’t gonna stop them now. So when Sarah finally kisses John and then kisses Nolan, followed immediately by John kissing Nolan, poor Booth feels just a bit lost. John passed him his glass of wine and they talk it out. Takes a while, and it doesn’t definitely get physical for them on the first night, but hey! That’s that and that works for them

And then they commit heists and Sarah has hate sex with Inspector Daz at least once and they live forever after this movie is so. I’m so excited for the sequels you actually have no idea

Tolkien-and-Wendy-and-Stan

So obviously Wendy and Stan had been Wendy-and-Stan- forever ago. Back in elementary school. It’s been Tolkien-and-Wendy since like 8th grade, going strong to senior year. Stan wouldn’t lie and say he’s not jealous, but he would also never admit that he was- Tolkien was his neighbor and actually they do get along really well, and he knows that Kyle and Wendy and Tolkien are close friends individually and he’s been able to be at the very least acquaintances with Wendy recently so he really does not want to ruin that. So he’s just chilling, pining a bit, even if he’s not exactly sure as to who for.

Wendy-and-Tolkien do have a very healthy sex life for two high schoolers, and are very comfortable with one another- when Wendy asks Tolkien (really casually, over lunch) “if you were to sleep with a guy, who would it be?” and he answers “Stan” almost on instinct, Wendy knows exactly how she can work with this. Purely planning for just a sort of sexual arrangement, she gets a bit closer to Stan to assess his mental health and availability and then the three of them have a Long conversation. Tolkien ends up driving them all into Denver to get tested for STDs and they’re all clean (surprisingly on Stan’s part, until they realize just how much he’s actually just been wanting the two of them), they have the sex, and then Stan.. stays the night.

On accident, of course, but he wakes up earlier and better rested than he has since maybe early elementary school, so he makes them all breakfast. He knows how Wendy used to eat and he knows what Tolkien does like so he makes a little spread in the Testaburger kitchen and when the other two wake up they are beyond surprised- not unpleasantly so.

This becomes somewhat of a regular thing- every few weeks, they’ll invite Stan over, and he’ll just end up staying over. He sort of fits into them perfectly, and ends up not just staying over night but in their minds as well. Clearly he’s a lot more grown-up than he was in 4th grade, and they all get along as friends, and Tolkien-and-Wendy decide it’s time for another Long conversation, inviting Stan in as an always fixture to their relationship. Immediately he jumps on board with that idea, and Tolkien-and-Wendy become Tolkien-and-Wendy-and-Stan

The conflict comes mainly from Wendy’s side here- she’s not embarrassed of Stan, she swears, she’s just embarrassed to tell her friends that she’s seeing him again. Tolkien’s a bit worried about telling people the polyamorous part, and Stan is overall a bit offended because he told Kenny and Kyle and Eric the first time Tolkien and Wendy invited him over. This issue mainly resolves itself with time and comfort and then they’re chilling and it’s good. Until Wendy asks Stan the same question she had asked Tolkien…

I had a lot more feelings about this one but uh I cared about South Park for like a month or so and then my brain decided we were tired of it so I have nothing else to offer I just think they’re all a lot more chill and communicative in high school idk

[eviltiddyproductions]

Flower of Evil: Episode 2

we’re starting with a very bad blonde wig 😭💀

for a second I thought he was going to do something cute and then realised he was practising a happy face (in a bathroom his wife can just walk into…) she does not deserve this!!! love her or leave her weirdo

I was about to say we haven’t seen any cooking yet and sure enough. we’re cooking now !!! 🦀

the baby throwing shots at her mom’s skills lmao </3 😭

the grandma lying dead with a cut fruit plate oh the killer was ruthless….. leave old people alone 😭😭😭

Um I felt bad for the journalist but what is this flashback

Put that stone down!!! my god teenagers are evil sometimes

okay put that hammer down babes even though the journalist is trying to use the disgusting ‘we were just kids doing kid things’ excuse

my double identity man you might not be a murderer (emphasis on MIGHT) but you sure do teeter the line <3

i cannot believe i was the person who watched any and every detective procedural while eating lunch not flinching and now a kdrama (which is so sanitised!) bruised thumb is making me flinch.

why do I think his motive for killing the chief of the village was to protect the girl. HEAR ME OUT! they’re keeping the details really hazy, they’re making him look like a serial killer or someone predisposed to this because he’s weird (?) and his dad BUT this is a kdrama so they’ll probably give him a benevolent reason.

Or, I’m totally wrong and he’s a serial killer.

His Samsung phone. 💀 First of all these phones look SO good but it reminded me of that weird Apple rule where they don’t let bad guys have iPhones. I guess Samsung is pretty chill it.

Idk about anyone else in this show but I’d die for Eun Ha. My little baby 😭😭😭

people in Korea must really love egg tarts because how are they in every show I watch?

y’all he kidnapped a young girl’s doll and threw her in the trash (killed her) 💀

i heard lipstick and i think it’s the social worker

also the senior detective choi is kinda cute (this title will be taken! if found to be deceptive)

just as I said this he’s fighting with our girl and being DUMB. like you’re a police officer, if someone gives you new evidence, follow it ?! 😭 fighting with her because he got the bare minimum like look at the thumbprint ON the will

don’t spill important details to people till they identify themselves babe!!! but also the double identity man’s identity has been stolen ??? what

lmaooo one thing a murderer who thinks they’re too smart or too safe is divulge details that will point a big sparkly giant arrow on their head (the social worker)

WHY would you agree to let your prime suspect wear makeup babe I feel like she’s going to try and run 😭

She killed the old lady because it took too many stairs to her place !!!? (#real) but also she’s the one climbing them in heels like ??? i knew they focused on the shoes a bit too much.

she killed her because of the stairs oh god 💀 the motives up until now have been so bad 😭 first (attempted) it was because they wanted the assets in divorce now daily exercise….

the detective is me because wdym you killed her because of stairs

lmao she’s having a I’m a sociopath monologue and they cut straight to the detective’s husband.

GIRL someone tried to murder our double identity man. What is going on? first getting stones thrown at you, now getting stabbed 😭😭 it is BAD for him

girl she (the old lady killer) got her sociopathy smacked out of her in 2 slaps 😭

I guess the detective and double identity man are a match.

he might not be normal but he gets patient’s rights! don’t disclose a patient’s prescription pharma mom

Raincoats are unnecessarily terrifying

for a second I was like why is your restaurant empty and then remembered maybe this guy owns it

idk why the detective gives me kim jisoo vibes

and that’s a wrap

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Did the MCU establish Shuri was lgbtq? Every fic I see of her has been girlxgirl and I get it bc I know everyone wants their shot at representation in fanfic with characters of their choosing regardless of what their cannon sexuality is. Like for example killmonger cannon in the comics is Demi sexual but aromantic. We still have fics for him (mostly hetero some homo) mostly bc he’s a hot character to fantasize about. I’m confused though bc I’m seeing back and forth that ppl are labeling shuri as queer bc of how she’s “appears” and lack of male love interests. Even though it’s clear in the writing she’s still young and identifying herself. Not everyone rushes to be in a relationship in their 20s. And also we only see her in BP where she’s younger and not the main character so the focus isn’t her love life and then a little in infinity war and endgame where there are high stakes. Who has time to be looking for a man when the world is about to be destroyed… I guess the part that irritates me the most is we’re still labeling sexuality by looks. She automatically is lesbian bc she wears track suits and makes lots of jokes and likes science (socially non fem things) versus it being bc that who she is. I would love for that representation to go to the actual lesbians in the movie ayo and neka. They already got screwed over with Disney giving us that lame ass forehead kiss to keep it “safe”. Idk I see it more and more now ppl pushing these labels on to folks who haven’t acknowledged themselves as a member or even supporter of the community and it’s like for what? So readers can twiddle their fingers under the blankets thinking of their fav character? Be fr half these ppl aren’t even on our team or at our parades/protests but y’all are lining up to project sexuality on them that they haven’t identified as. I’m prob thinking too much into it but ppl making sexuality a trend and a flavor like folks haven’t lost their lives or loved ones over it is crazy to me.

I never really thought much into it that way honestly. But I do get your debate on the matter and idk I feel like more so now there has been fics with Shuri that’s girl x girl I’ve seen fics from a while ago where it wasn’t that way but it could have something to do with the way she dresses or how she looks in her panther suit or how she carries herself in this movie. Everyone has their opinions on it but I feel like as long as no one is disrespecting the community in any way it’s okay to ship Shuri with a woman. Hell, she can be shipped with anyone it’s just fiction. What are y’all thoughts on this?

[madalice31]

Not that anybody reads or pays attention to my posts. But I’ve criticized Beyonce before, so I’m not exactly a Stan.

However, ….when I saw her on the Renaissance premier carpet, I thought wow that dress fits her beautifully and her makeup is on point. Need a little bit of a tan tho. And I kept it pushing. Didn’t think anything of it. I was more excited about the destiny’s child reunion that happened on the carpet. I mean Michelle said don’t count her out! And Kelly?! 🤤 but i digress.

Although I did notice her skin tone was a bit off, my problem was more so the platinum hair. I just felt like it was washing her out and wasn’t really feeling the wig cause it was giving me Kim K vibes.

But to see people going off about how she look like a white woman

I mean it was definitely giving that white-washed Tiffany’s ad. But I think people didn’t expect her to look like that on her own carpet. I mean lighting is very much so important when it comes to how our skin looks on camera. The wrong lighting can definitely make you look 3 shades lighter or darker, depending. So I don’t think the whole “she bleached her skin” thing was really fair.

Like let’s be real, Beyonce always been light skin. Like idk what skin tone yall thought she was. She damn near the same shade as Zendaya who is biracial, soooo yeah, Beyonce been fitting European Standards of beauty, which is one of the main reasons why she’s been so successful. Yes I said it. If Beyonce was of a darker complexion, she would not be the phenomenon she is. We see that even now with the discrepancies in the attention the new girls get who are darker in complexion compared to their light skin counterparts. Colorism is a thing that most of y’all participate in. Again, I digress.

I understood the assignment. The whole theme of renaissance is silver, so she tried something different with the hair. I get it. Maybe if it was straight up white or gray rather than platinum, that would have complimented her skin better as well.

But it’s just so funny to me when people choose to be outraged and what they choose to be outraged at.

Tina said Beyonce has done so much for the community and helps people whenever she can. I’m just waiting on the receipts of that. Cause while yall outraged about whether or not she identifies as white, I’m just trying to understand why folks worshipping someone that has barely made any visible moves for the community. As much money as her and Jay Z have, they could be changing lives in the black community. They could have scholarships, build community centers, I mean Jay Z needs to have a master class in business. Beyonce ain’t got a fund for dancers of color trying to make it in the industry? Why TI the only one I’m hearing about building a shelter for the homeless? What did they do for the community for Thanksgiving? Does she do any outreach work in Houston? What organizations or foundations has she created to help people? Or just support if she ain’t create it. These are genuine questions, so if you’re a member of the Beyhive reading this, and you keep up and know/have receipts of her community work, slide in my DMs. I want to know what she does off stage.

Cause that’s what I’m outraged at. It’s like after Formation and the Lion King album, that was it. What happened to all the Black pride and positivity? I mean working with Tiffany’s of all companies that has a track record for discriminating against women of color? That made me question everything about what Beyonce stands for. So yeah, bad lighting aside, if she was doing more in the community (publicly) than people wouldn’t be so quick to accuse her of trying to be white. Or maybe they would. Like I said, selective outrage 🤷🏽‍♀️

[taeyamayang]

Hey hey hey! Sorry for the late reply but I FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING!! literally when you @‘d me the Ray Bradbury quote I was like “welp that’ll do it” and finished the kuroo Drabble. It’s def not my fav but it’s a start! After I wrote that I wrote a Yams story that was originally gonna be a part of a different series that I scrapped. But I really like the idea so I made it a one-shot. I really like it and am proud of it!! I just hope by the time you read this someone else besides me has read it 😅. I don’t Necessarily want it to blow up or anything but starting out as a fanfic writer is hard. How did you do it?

About the books thing growing up I lived with my grandparents and wasn’t really connected to the internet like kids my age were until like 8 (which is still v young but I grew up kinda fast so 8 was like 13 to me I guess) so I just read a lot cause we didn’t have much to do (and talking to people was hard- so books it was) besides watch the same old movies on VHS and play with Polly pockets. A lot of my toys were my aunts who was like a decade older than me as well. All of that was some of the reasons I identified a lot with the gen before me and I remember talking with my (other) aunt whose like nine years older and her friend reminiscing about when they were kids and I was like “ahh I remember those” and she’s like gIRL HOW U WERE LIKE TWO😭 fanfic has ruined actual books for me. Not saying fanfic is way better, and I still like to read actual books, but why get invested in all these new characters when you can read about the ones you already know and love? And plus it’s more convenient then actually carrying a book around.

OOH REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU HOW I ALWAYS GET HIT WITH BALLS AND YOU WERE LIKE HEY THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD FANFIC IDEA? well that’s not exactly how it happened but guess what! I’m writting it! I have 630 words down so far so I know it’s at least gonna hit the 1000 mark at the rate I’m going. I’m so excited for you to read it!! Also I may take you up on the editing or what’s it called Beta reading? Where people read it over and give the ok to post? I was gonna do that with the Yams one shot but I was too excited! I will absolutely keep u in mind tho, thank you!!!

And for the thing about the schools and the pillows…I CANT BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK??? that is so wild to me omg. Also American tv is fucking weird when it comes to sex. Like when I was in high school only a few people had sex and it wasn’t a big deal? I mean I was very introverted and wasn’t popular so I might not be the best resource but still. Maybe it’s a newer thing not to care as much about sex with a more body positive gen or wherever but I don’t really think peer pressure or anything was a big deal. Honestly? Peer pressure in general barely exists anymore. Adults were always like “say no to peer pressure” when it was just one guy offering weed or whatever and a person saying nah and that was IT. I think there was more pressure in feeling left out if anything. The media is so weird portraying teens but we gotta remember- these are old people writting and producing these shows. They also get paid to make it dramatic and not realistic.

I hope everything worked out with your ex boyfriend/boyfriend! And I totally don’t think you are ranting and if you are, shot just call me a therapist LMAO. dating is so fucking messy. Everyone expects it to be certain kind of way and they get anxious when it’s not. People gotta learn that relationship differ for everyone and it’s ok to break up and move on when you feel like things aren’t working out! There doesn’t have to be hard feelings or anything either idk why society has to make breaking up so messy- I know it can be and things don’t always end well but they can end normally and you don’t need to feel bad about doing what’s best for both of y’all. Staying in a relationship that doesn’t feel right Is just bad for both parties. Then again, I’ve never really been in a relationship and I’m still a virgin because I’m demisexual and that strong connection is vital and I’m too fucking busy with my own shit to get that. But I think what I said still stands. Bruh I’ve been reading so much fanfic and while reading I’m like “wow this shit would never happen to me and my shy ass” bUT I STILL WANT A MEET CUTE!!! but I have to remember that I’m reading about anime men who are too good to be real LMAO. I have high standards ig. Finding a partner is gonna be fun. Also I know what you mean when you said being Intimate is hard because girls are taught to always say no to sex for multiple reasons. A. Religion and purity for being a female and slut shaming and B. R*pe and sexual assault. Like I listen to too many true crime stories! I know the statistics! And people just hook up with others??? Wtf??? Idk this might just be my demisexual ass but no thank youuuu

BRO I WISH I HAD SMALL FEET! THEY DONT MAKE CUTE SHOES FOR BIG ASS FEET LIKE MINEEEE. When I was a freshman I learned about how having small feet was attractive in china and how they would bind the feet of women to have small cute feet but I never heard of small feet being lucky. I did hear about big feet meaning big- uh I assume you know where I’m going with that.

I don’t read my journal that much cuz ig makes me wanna cry but I do read it when I feel particularly down. I still have contact with Kylie (I think I called her that- since i used fake names for them both) but we don’t talk much. Sadly I don’t have Daias number which makes me so sad cuz I miss her dearly.

Ok so the murder in my town was kinda on brand for it??? OK LEMME EXPLAIN. I live in an upper middle class town with good schools and such so a lot of wealthy families move here. Some areas of this town are more fancy than others (the farther away from downtown you are- i happen to live pretty close to downtown but ANYWAYS) even some big celebrities mentioned wanting to move here. my town has a pretty uppity spoiled reputation because of that. Like most of the crimes around here are from spoiled brats that get bored and do drugs or rob people. The culprit of this case was spoiled by his mother in every degree as a child and refused to be independent and when his mom cut him off he killed both of his parents and his one sister and her husband (bc the sister kept telling him and Their mom that he needs to get a life.) the sister and her husband live in the town over so technically it didn’t just happen in the town i live in (but!!! My old residental school was IN THAT TOWN! not the same area since they lived in the nice mansion part but still.) I also got lunch with my old teacher (the one with the books) and told her about the case and she original thought I was talking aBOUT A DIFFERENT MURDER! THAT HAPPENED EVEN CLOSER TO ME IN MY TOWN. she’s like “oh is it the case where the lady drowned her kids in the bathtub?” LIKE IM SORRY- WHAT??? she like “oh yeah it happened a lil while ago tho. The college bought the house and now they use it for administration or something since no one wanted to move there.” THIS IS THE SAME COLLEGE RIGHT DOWNTOWN!!! I PROBABLY WALKED PAST IT BEFORE WHEN I GOT LOST GETTING CUPCAKES. ok quick side note- my high school was downtown and we had free lunch where we can go off campus for food and I decided I wanted a cupcake from this cupcake place not that far from the school. Since I didn’t wanna be late I pulled up my old friend google maps to take me back the quickest way- THAT WAS A BAD IDEA!!!!! I ended up wayyyyy out of downtown and into this weird residental housing street soooo far away. I ended up calling my mom like “moooommmm…. I think I’m lost.” And she was like ???? “Aren’t u at school???” THEN I HAD TO SEND MY ADRESS AND SHE PICKED ME UP. I WAS SITTING ON THE SIDEWALK ALL ALONE AND SAD. I WAS LIKE 16!!! my mom wasn’t even mad LMAO. She just sighed and told me to get in. It was a good cupcake tho. ANYWAY BACK TO MURDER- apparently one of her students parents got murdered too or something like a decade ago… LET ME JUST RESTATE THAT I LIVE IN THE MOST PICKET FENCE UPPITY TOWN EVER. I know what I’m saying makes it look all shady but the town i live in is one of the safest towns in the country- let alone my state. It just goes to show a lot of shady things happen when you aren’t looking for them. A quick google search goes a looooong way if you know what I mean- hopefully that doesn’t scare you if it did I’m so sorryyyy lol.

I’ve heard a lot about some famous cases from Japan, like the one about the little girl that killed her classmate (THAT SOUNDS SO BAD OUT OF CONTEXT WTF) or the Kyoto Anime massacre and the Junko Furuta case. The last two are very interesting to me in different ways. The first because I’ve never heard of anything like that happening before and the outcome is very unique? If that is the right word and just different from other arson cases when it comes to the motive and even the aftermath is different, like the perpetrator being the first person to receive a full body artificial skin graft. And because Kyoto Animations is a very big anime company which produced movies and shows that I- a person so far away- has watched before. And the Junko Furuta case was one of the few cases that ever made me cry and stuck with me for a while (that makes me seem so cold blooded I just don’t cry often because when I do EVERYTHING comes out) - but it was some of the most gruesome shit I have ever heard. I feel like the way I’m mentioning them is kinda disrespectful but I don’t want to go into detail about them because A. It’s really depressing for a tumblr ask and B. I wouldn’t do the stories justice. You also probably know about them anyway since you also like true crime and live closer geographically but if not I heard both of these cases from the YouTuber I mentioned a few times before Elenor Neale. Junkos case is kind of similar to one that happened here about a girl named Sylvia Likens, just in terms of sheer brutality.

OK THATS ENOUGH MURDER! but I wish I lived closer to Japan, since my mom told me she’d take me there after I graduated at some point- but she needs to get on a smaller plane first since she’s never been on one and the first one she’s going on will not be the 14 hour flight to Japan. So now I’m kinda just waiting and saving up lol.

I believe you did tell me about hearing voices in your house! Very spooky indeed. One time in a different house, a doll appeared on my bed out of nowhere (apparently it was my aunts who gave me to Polly pockets so that part wasn’t that weird) but the doll had a gold necklace with a smiley face pendant with a big round nose. Everyone says they never seen it before and honestly? I believe them. I have no idea where it came from and I held it close to me (bc spooky things are cool) until my little sister got jealous and broke it smh.

OOOH IM SO EXCITED ABOUT YOUR STICKER BUSINESS!!! IT SOUNDS SO COOL! I don’t play Genshin myself but my best friend does so I know some things about it. Her fav character is childe so I know zhongli and how he’s a god of some sort that childe buys everything for. I know there is a best friend duo and one of them hunts ghosts (bc my bestie said they remind her of us) and i know that childe calls everyone comrade and he’s a fatui harbringer with a little brother who thinks he is a toy maker. Oh and pimon (I think is her name) is annoying and Klee is cute and makes bombs. Oh there’s also Ito who’s like an Oni that’s a himbo and Thoma (I like him a lot. He’s cute) with the lil doggo! Your Zhongli sticker is so cute!!!

I’m also glad you take time to chat with me!! It makes me so happy whenever I get these messages. I hope you like my writting! By the time you get this my bokuto fic should be out!!!

And here! Take some cat pics as a treat!

i'm back with a communicable brain. dude, would you believe that i am building a sleigh.. a freaking life sized santa sleigh for christmas?? it's for community competition and i was tasked to build a sleigh and 9 reindeers. ugh, it's fun but very tiring i might be able to show you the sleigh the next time i write to you.

i read feline antics and kuroo in your fic is canon!! omg lol and when you mentioned about yams fic i was like "wait...why is the fic not on my dash (considering that i have few mutuals/following)." then it turns out I DIDN'T FOLLOW YOU?? WHAT THE HECK i swear i thought i did last time i read feline antics but my pea brain forgot or thought i did (i'm very forgetful if you hadn't catch on yet. might as well name myself dori ffs) anyway, so i followed you and saw your yams fic and holy shit??? 6k?? DUDE 6K?? woah, i am so so proud of you because i remember you mentioned to me before that you couldn't write anything/one shots because you always tend to drop them off or left them unfinishes bUT 6K?? DAAAMN. i really like the way you portrayed yamaguchi's anxiety because it's raw, heartfelt in a way that i could feel his worries through your writing. i'm sorry if this entire paragraph is a commentary about your recent works gsmsbsns lol and about beta reading... ARE YOU SURE?? ME?? WHAT AM I?? kidding but i'm always down maybe we can talk over it on discord if you have one (i rarely open my dms here bc opening dms means opening notifications and if im not in the right mood to check notifs i tend to forget to reply to comments, ask games, etc. aghh you know that gsnsbs)

how i started out as a fic writer is not actually a plan lmao after watching haikyuu i reopened my dying tumblr blog bc i know that great artists thrive here so i wanted to check out artworks of haikyuu. then, i saw that a number of blogs writes for haikyuu and i was like "wow fics are still a thing here on tumblr, huh." then i tried writing my own and took my tendency to daydream about my fixations to my advantage. i love thinking about how these set of characters react to a situation (this prolly the reason why i took up psychology as a major lol i love observing people and their personality and behavior) then out of whim i posted. not really thinking of numbers or feedbacks, i posted bc i know that only a few people will get to see it so there are less judgments on me since i'm a beginner writer on this platform. then, as i kept posting more and more people came to my blog. and although now, i still am not a huge blog, it's always good to keep a mindset that you're writing for yourself (tho numbers are rewarding, we get that) and that the people who read your works doesn't know you. you can't be judged based on your writing bc that's just one side of who you are and it also comforts me to think that there people who genuinely enjoy my work. i'll be lying if i say that there are no times where my priorities lean towards writing for my audience. i did at one point but ended on a writer's block lol. if you keep it that way you'll end up burntout (this happened to me too before heh). so, in short, i started writing just because i can and i didn't really thought about the negative things people will think of me, i just did bc i enjoyed it. also, i think consistency plays a huge role in thisㅡnot only to keep people engaged but also to keep writing as a habit. if you make it a habit, your writing gets better and better. that's just based on my experience lol. alsooo tho one year of writing here is still a short-time, i have never encountered anyone calling me a shitty writer and to stop writing because my words are useless and childish LOL what i'm trying to say is worries about people judging you and your work doesn't happen often and if that ever happens, they're the problem, never yours. so yeah i keep that in mind too. AND if that ever happens to you, i'll be on the frontline defending you. leave the roasting to me lol.

about the tv shows and sex (i feel like i have to at least give a topic beforeni start a paragraph bc i reply SO LATE that i feel like you might have forgotten what we were talking about) i agree! it's more of the pressure of being left out. one is pressured to hangout after school because of the fear of not being included in a group. tho i was peer pressure to kiss someone in class for fun but i was like "uhm, nope!" so i made a petty (i think wise *wink*) excuse of going to the comfort room first before doing it but what i did was i went straight home without telling anyone. i am not doing that for their entertainment lol 💀and that's cool kids for you 💀

OH! ex boyfriend... uh.. it's a girlfriend 🤣 everything worked well so thanks! we broke up lmaooooo welp it's for the best. im onto finding a better match i guess lol bruuhh i get the strong connection but besides that i also want someone to balance me out. i'm literally just a speck of dust sometimes, you know floating and minding my own business aka my fixations and hobbies in life. kudos to you tho! you give spot on advice. i mean having zero experience is okay when you give out relationship advices bc to me i think that's a fresh perspective.

yeah, small feet are lucky. small faces are pretty. button noses are pretty. small curvy lips are pretty. everything has to be small to be lucky or pretty but eyes... IT HAS TO HUGE AND DOE-LIKE i swear to fucking god the beauty standard here is ridiculous tho people my age dont usuallu give a fuck about it lol but the older generations OH THEY DO but that doesnt matter we were taught to respect elders and their opinions (as part of our culture) but that doesn't mean we will up to their unrealistic expectations. oh just to mention to you! when i was a kid i was pretty active. i play outside a lot and i love ride my bicycle and do races with my friends. one time my aunt (my father's sister) warned me of not "playing too much" bc my calves will develop man like muscles and it's not a good for a girl to have calf muscles because if i wear a dress and heeled shoes it will show. i was i think 8 or 9 and i was like... sOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT so i went to my mom and told her about it and she was like "what?! she told you that?! that's an exaggeration! just keep cycling or running, don't mind her." (my mom doesnt really care about physical looks whereas my aunts-dad side CARE A LOT) they don't even like women wearing clothes that are too revealing so what i did was i wore a tube on a relative's birthday party. they cant call me out bc they know my dad doesnt care (he even buys me cropped tops) and my mom too. anyway, so yes small ankles and calves are a thing too. IT'S RIDICULOUS I SWEAR.

oh god the murders in your town?? THAT SOUNDS LIKE FROM AMERICAN HORROR STORY OR SMTH. is it not weird that the college bought where the murder took place? like if i were to study there i'll be thinking about it a lot... actually... that sounds a bit like my uni... not exactly my uni but the place where my uni sits. so my country was under a colony before (war times and all that) and the city where my uni is the main city where the locals and foreigners interacted during 1800s and since the woke locals are against the colonization, a lot of them were shot, killed, and thrown to the nearby river. and if you take a few strides from my uni there's like an underground tunnel recently discovered that turned into a tourist spot. it's downright creepy because the way down to the tunnel and the tunnel itself is sketchy tight, the way/tunnel leads to a huge boxed underground like a deadend. my friends and i went afterclass and when we reached the dead end we looked up and see like a railing(?) idk how to describe it but other tourists were shock that people are piling underground and they can see us. apparently, that hole used to be a prison for locals who fought for our freedom (and other criminals too) they were kept and stuck undergound, left them there to die (die of starvation and stuff). it was creepy bc i was literally standing where almost hundreds of people died and i didn't know. we only knew of it when we reached the dead end. as it turns out, there are many other tunnels with the same structure near the place. sooo yeah.

omg speaking of the two japanese murders you mentioned i dont know about them so ill check it out!! and about your cupcake incident OMG THATS SO CUTE WTH IM SORRY FOR LAUGHIN but i just think its adorable that you ended up lost for a good cupcake. cant blame you tho i loveee a good cupcake. where you able to get back in class without an earful?

ahhhh i live near japan but i can't fly there yet bc of school (but since i graduated who knows heh). you know how crazy asian schools are? yes, they're crazy. so my family and i barely have time to travel outside of the country without taking a week off from school. we traveled once before to two countries it was hongkong and vietnam but i had to file a one week leave (it was tedious with all the papers i have to submit and all that ugh) and thank god that one week is just school festival week so i didnt miss anything besides the fun. that was in elementary but came middle school and high school.. heckkk after class study sessions is real like the one in anime especially if you're a senior. i remember my mom's friend being a math teacher so every summer i go to their place to train my skills in math and i'm begging my mom not to drop me off to their place 💀 imagine spending summer solving math problems HA! still, i'm never the best in math lol

thanks for the wishes i hope to launch my sticker shop soon apparently i hae forgotten my skills on photoshop HA HA HA and i'm trying to recall my lessons on it BUT FUCKKK anyway you a lot for someone who doesnt play genshin if you ever plan on playing it soon let me know!! i would love to know (its funny how you mentioned almost all daddies of genshin bc saaaame ughh childe supreme sugardaddy and a meme)

here are some haikyuu stickers i made recently it isnt final yet butttt here have a look!

WHY ARE YOUR CATS SO PHOTOGENIC?? THEYRE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL AND SOOO CALMING TO LOOK AT!! THATS UNFAIR bc momo knows when a cam is pointed at her and she just runs away. and the huge pikachu too!! I WANT THAT AAAHHH

here have momo sitting on the sleigh im working on hehe

sorry for the long wait but i lovee writing to you whenever i receive a message from you i get all excited! you're a good communicator and thanks for waiting for my replies since i take eons to do so. i hope you keep writing!! i'll always be here to support a friend and a fellow writer. cheers!

[timemachineyeah]

Finally watching Stranger Things s4 (just started ep08) and man unless we get more later, this motivation and backstory for 001 sucks.

Like this season has been so good and then it’s like “oh Vecna? yeah just some kid who liked spiders and was ~weird~ who just decided to judge and terrorize people around him because, idk, he could” which is just counter to every other theme at play in the season so far.

Like the theme of guilt? The fear of hurting people you care about? The cruelty of ostracism and the folly of fear of the “other”? Nah. Fuck all that good shit we were building on. Back in the 50s there was a kid who was evil and weird because he just was. Cool story. Awesome.

Like what if this backstory was that there was someone who became so convinced of their own irredeemability after something they blamed themselves for that they basically made their perception of themselves real? When others blamed them they accepted that blame and started acting out the role they had been given until it just was the truth? You know??? The themes??? The two major motifs??? Self blame and the satanic panic??? Nah??? Fuck those themes I guess??? Sometimes a literal child is just evil and weird and will terrorize and murder their own family! the bad guy? oh just someone who is bad, and who also conveniently helps mitigate Eleven’s own source of guilt in the process wow great storytelling I love it 😐

LIKE. You had such a good setup here, y’all. I think what I hate about it is that the horrors of self-repulsion and social repulsion are both based in the same lie. There are good people and evil people. See, because if that’s true, you could be an evil person, or someone else could be a evil person. And both of those ideas are deeply frightening.

But that horror concept IMMEDIATELY loses its power when you imply that it’s a natural state of the world based in fact. You know? Because then it’s not horror. It’s self-congratulations. It’s reassurance.

If evil is that inherent and apparent and obvious, no need to worry about secretly being evil. And if some significant number of people just are bad, then trying to identify and shun them is a reasonable way for people to behave. The real horror wasn’t ostracism, it was The Other all along.

And tbh El should’ve just been the one who killed the kids. Or maybe not, but at least done something more horrific than she did. The point shouldn’t be “she doesn’t have to worry if she’s evil, she didn’t do the bad thing she thought she did.” It should be “even if she did that she still wouldn’t be evil because she was a literal child and more importantly there’s no such thing as a person who’s just evil”. But the writers were like, “but what if, and hear me out, there is a person who is just evil”

I really thought this whole thing was going to be leading to, idk, a “you are not a single moment. you are not just your worst day” thing, but instead it’s like, “idk, the fact that every single story and arc for every character was about guilt was, like, a goofy coincidence. The horror isn’t guilt, the horror is one kid who liked some spiders so much he decided to gruesomely murder his family, which is what happens when you seem weird and like weird stuff. no this does not thematically contradict all the satanic panic storytelling at all”

I was really on board and loving this season, like it’s still some of the best stuff this show has ever done, but this villain fucking sucks.