#she’s probably thought of euthanizing people

[demonidoodles]

Working on something Robyn lore related so have this

[froshele]

today in the wild I came across a phrase to the effect "...And this [pair of ethical axioms about what constitutes quality of life for purposes of discussion about disability and coma prognosis, based on the opinion of one person who has not ever been in a coma or disabled thereafter] suggests that maybe, just maybe, [relevantly comatose or recovering or disabled] people may have quality of life sufficient to make them ethically relevant"

that's ... not, um, normally considered to be what makes people "ethically relevant" in the world where all the people are and there's sunshine and grass and things, but, you know what, ok jennifer, A for effort! :) gold star for you, philosopher extraordinaire, moral lodestar for people unsure what to do with granny, paragon of ethical conduct!

[kyluxtrashpit]

Okay I need to talk about death and specifically pet death and that’s not a thing a lot of people like to talk about but with old cat’s time left being unknown, I’m trying to make decisions and. I thought I knew what I was going to do but I’m second guessing it now so. I’ll actually use a cut this time so read on if you like, don’t if you’d not

I’m trying to plan ahead as much as I can considering I don’t know what’s going to happen and when. I’m hoping I can get another month or two with her but we’ll see. But I want to know what I’m going to do beforehand regardless so I don’t need to make any decisions in the moment

Originally, I was deadset on having her euthanized at home. Because she really doesn’t like the vet and then I don’t have to drive home all emotional and it just seemed like a good idea for everyone. I still need to call the place that does that and ask some questions but. I’m having doubts now

Her last 2 vet appointments actually went really well and she wasn’t nearly as upset as before (probably cause of gabapentin but. Can’t see why I couldn’t do that if she’s dying anyway. But she didn’t even growl or hiss, she did SO much better. So maybe she doesn’t hate it as much anymore? I’m not sure). But I know the vet still isn’t a place she likes to be so. I was thinking at home would be best for her

But at the same time. If it happens in my home, whether in her bed or on the couch or wherever… am I going to be able to see that spot as anything other than the place where she died? Am I going to be able to see this apartment as anything other than the place where she died? Is it going to make it harder for me to move on? And how will it affect new cat? Would it be better or worse for him to literally see it happen? And would doing it at home even be less stressful for her, given that they do need to set up the catheter and everything to deliver the medication? Or would she be just as upset even though it’s at home? Perhaps even more upset, as it could feel like a betrayal, a violation of her safe little home that she never expected?

And am I selfish for thinking about my comfort and my ability to move on when it’s the last moments of her life? Or is that reasonable, given I’m the one who has to live on without her? She always knows when I’m not feeling well and she comes and purrs on me - she doesn’t like it when I’m sad or sick or whatever. Would she, if I could tell her, understand if I did it at the vet given that she’s had a great life? Animals often can tell when it’s going to happen - will she know, will she forgive me? Would she prefer it that way?

But I still feel guilty for even considering doing it at the vet because I feel like I’m doing it for me and not her, though in some ways it might be the same or even better for her too. And there’s just no way for me to know for sure. But she deserves the best possible send off I can give her. I just. I don’t know what that is. And I know I’m running out of time to decide. And it’s also possible the time will come very suddenly and I won’t be able to arrange for it at home regardless, and the decision might be made for me

I don’t know. I know this is a highly personal decision and no one can make it for me. But if anyone has dealt with having to put a cat that dislikes the vet to rest and has any thoughts to add, I’d love to hear them. Or just any thoughts from anyone. I thought I knew what I was doing but the longer I think, the less sure I am

[alliluyevas]

I saw this article posted to Facebook about a 16 year old senior dog that was left at a local shelter with all her toys/bedding etc and a note saying to euthanize her and give the items to other dogs in the shelter and the dog was put in a hospice foster home instead because she has “advanced kidney failure” and everyone in the comments is absolutely savaging the former owners and saying that they deserve to get abandoned when they’re old and they’re monsters etc and…I absolutely do not understand that level of reaction in part because I think for 16 year old dog with advanced kidney failure, compassionate euthanasia is unfortunately probably the best option. My assumption would be this is a situation where the owners loved the dog (and imo leaving her with toys/bedding that they then request to be used by other dogs suggests a level of care for animals) but are probably unable to afford to have her euthanized and thought, perhaps mistakenly, that this would be the best option. I don’t think these people are monsters. Idk why I posted this it just saddened me that a) the shelter/rescue folks may not have even been acting in the dog’s best interest b) to me the situation suggests that the dog’s previous people did care for her even if they were perhaps misguided or of limited means and the knee jerk and really aggressive condemnation saddened me

[randomidiocyncrazies]

My pal and I got through most of T2 (only Mikoto and Kotoko left), so. here's what i think happened for each case:

Haruka: killed a bunch of animals to get his abusive mom's attention, so the mom had him institutionalized (for his violent behavior and/or implied developmental disabilities...?) and then he killed a little girl while institutionalized bc his mom left him there to rot/didn't care about him. no idea how he got his hands on the girl though; maybe she's a visitor (so most likely a relative) or a fellow ward??? idk

Yuno: yes it's an abortion (maybe multiple abortions). has intimacy issues and can only get fleeting warmth when she's playing a role for her clients. i'm honestly not sure why she's even here in the first place—i assume it's cultural differences at play?

Fuuta: what we thought in T1, and we clearly see that his victim was just a young teen (uniform looks like middle school). really fucking regrets it, especially after he's unforgiven and brutalized by Kotoko

Muu: my pal and I thought it was weird that she seemed way more vindictive towards the girl who ignored her but also didn't bully her (which we thought was her best friend/crush) in T1, but with T2 it turns out Muu was a bully herself and the girl she killed seemed disgusted by her actions/was the target of bullying before something changed so Muu became the target of bullying instead... so maybe Muu hates her the most because she sees it as the girl "not knowing her place" and blames her for her misfortunes?

Shidou: a confirmation of what we thought from T1, except it's brain-dead patients; at one point my pal thought he just failed to save people and blamed himself, but the voice drama makes it clear he's been pressuring relatives to euthanize brain-dead patients to facilitate organ donation.

Mahiru: she didn't accidentally kill her boyfriend in a fight like we thought; looks like the bf tried to break up with her, but she's oblivious to it and kept talking like they're gonna get back together so that pushed him over the edge maybe? it's really sad bc her self-esteem clearly comes from "being in a relationship" and her obsession with love implies that it's the only achievement she feels she can long for/try to achieve? also it's her 1st relationship and the bf also fed her cake, so i kinda think the relationship was a bit messed up on both their ends (she treats him how he treats her), and by the time bf noticed how unhealthy it was, it had progressed to the point where he felt like there was no way out but death

Kazui: this man is gay, and his wife killed herself when he came out to her after being in the closet pretty much his entire life. (i've also seen theories that he's alloaro, but given his first love was "probably [his] elementary school teacher" in the Q&A & "if I said i like-liked you (omae), what would you do?" in Cat, i think that's less likely than him being gay)

Amane: cult upbringing confirmed, and she killed her mother for violating the teaching of "living things must live out their ordained destiny"—the mom killed the cat Amane was caring for, which deffo interferes with the cat's ‘natural destiny', and the same dogma was used to punish/torture Amane for giving medical attention to the cat in the first place.

[pelgraine]

Rewatching Halo s02 episodes 3 & 4

And I had to post here because I had so many thoughts and feelings about how sad and awful the whole situation with Ackerson and his manipulation of Kai 125 is.

Kai, who is still so new to navigating the complexities of being a whole adult human being, is conditioned to trust those in authority and Ackerson takes such advantage of that. Rewatching the conversation that happens between them after John gets taken off duty really hits extra hard the second time around.

Kai has gone to Ackerson to defend her team and John, but also to get answers because she's so lost and so worried about John. We know that Ackerson has very recently received news that there's a 97% chance of Reach being obliterated, and by extension the heavy implication that he will lose his ailing father in the process. Kai, of course, has no idea of what a corner Ackerson has been backed into (backed himself into, perhaps), and therefore has no idea how dangerous each word she says can potentially be in the circumstances.

The second Kai says send just me, temporarily till John is cleared, it sinks in how distressed at her circumstances Kai really is. The second she exposes that weakness, Ackerson goes in for the kill by berating her for something John has done that she has absolutely no knowledge of, twisting her previous words against her to very effectively thicken that sense of isolation, confusion and guilt that Kai is no doubt feeling.

Then comes the "this isn't me speaking to you as your superior" line. It's akin to the flashback memory John has of Halsey speaking to him as a child asking him to keep this a secret just between them. But then, Ackerson tells Kai that sometimes people don't get better, and that sometimes we do more damage by holding on.

We as an audience know that Ackerson is talking about his father. But watching it all again, looking at Ackerson's facial expressions and movements - well, it got me wondering. I think that in that moment Ackerson is also scared, verging on despondent, and isn't really sure what Kai wants from him. Right up until she offers herself for sole temporary deployment. I think that the second she does that, Ackerson knows Kai has accidentally walked herself right into the perfect spot to benefit his plans to discredit Halsey's Spartan II program and for him to take control of the Spartan IIIs, with Kai at the helm for training.

What worries me is the absolute number this is all going to do on Kai's mental health, especially after what happens in e04. Just in that one conversation alone Ackerson has managed to plant some seriously poisoned claws of guilt, responsibility and isolation into Kai, made worse by the fact that she's already finding (what she's led to believe is) John's apparent descent into madness too difficult to watch (and potentially accidentally enable.)

Kai's plea of "Tell me what to do" is not too different from Perez attending the chapel for prayers. Which makes Kai's absence during the time her team arguably needs her most all the more horrible. She's been manipulated by a figure she trusted and expected to guide her at a point when she is probably the most vulnerable she's ever been, if only in the emotional sense.

I think Ackerson's comment of "I'm not a monster" to Halsey when he leaves her alone with Soren is somewhat of a Freudian slip. He's busy mentally reconciling his choices to euthanize his father to save him from worse suffering, and to leave Reach to be glassed with minimal survivors being evacuated so as not to cause panic, and all the other terrible choices he believes were necessary along the way. I think for the most part Ackerson wanted to believe he wasn't a monster, but that by the time he's leaving Soren with Halsey, Ackerson is almost despondent enough not to care whether is a monster or not. Like, an 'everything's gone to shit might as well embrace the dark' sort of attitude.

And so he's likely going to take a lot of that darkness out on Kai. Now that Halsey and Soren have escaped, that Ackerson's father is dead, that John and the other Spartans have (as far as Ackerson knows) died on Reach (along with everyone else he's condemned there) - now Kai alone is going to be a symbol of all of that; of the Spartan program and Halsey and everything that Ackerson hated, by association.

If Ackerson really does go down the monster route, and Kai gets the full brunt of the guilt of Vannaks death by virtue of her having not been there - and by extension, the anger and sense of betrayal from Silver team because she left them when they needed her - then Kai is going to be in exactly the wrong spot to take the brunt of all of Ackerson's anger and grief, all the while feeling the brunt of all of her own grief.

I really hope I'm wrong and Kai finds her feet and doesn't let Ackerson give her shit about anything, and that she's able to reunite with Silver team pronto.

I also hope that the reason the last shot of the Reach episode is that hole in the ceiling with a bird hovering over above is because we're actually seeing things from Vannak's pov and one of his birds (probably Keith) is watching over him, and that we see that pov and the bird because Vannak is actually still alive.

Needless to say, I am counting down the hours till the next episode. Also very curious as to what has happened to Miranda Keyes and whether we'll be seeing more of her soon.

[gynandromorph]

could we possibly see some examples of Trouble's dialogue? I'm intrigued by your comment about it, and I've also been thinking about it since that comic you posted of Jessie and Emily outside with Trouble. How does everyone feel about the talking dog? Does Trouble ever feel weird about it? Does anyone else? Is there an implication that Trouble might eventually "Stand Up" or are they just that way? And how does Trouble reason through things, generally?

examples:

trouble's logic tends to be self-centered. she will say things without extrapolating how it will make the person she's talking to feel. i think she can, eventually, get a feel for common reactions from people she says things to frequently, but this would generalize to things like "saying anything makes jessie angry" or "saying this person's name will make them pay attention to me" rather than a more complex theory of mind. things like "saying something can be rude with certain words or not rude with other words, even if it's the exact same message" are just patently absurd to her on concept. she understands the idea of being rude, so she can be rude on purpose, but this is largely communicated physically, to her. it isn't necessarily that she has no concept of other people thinking or feeling things -- it's just that if it's not pertinent to her, a dog has no motivation to think of such things. the person she'd be most likely to have motivation to consider is emily, so trouble might know and anticipate emily's thought patterns more than others'. she can definitely anticipate other dogs' reactions because they think like she does. i don't want her to talk like a caveman, necessarily. but i also tend to keep her sentences shorter. you can see in her dialogue and decisions there are a lot of references back to her. i don't think she would understand the concept of "old" if she hadn't personally experienced aging herself. she generally can't anticipate too many things that she's never experienced, even when it's directly communicated to her; you could tell her that a car can squish her body and kill her if she runs into the road, but she would probably internalize this as "if i walk on the road when x person is around, they get upset at me" unless she saw something like something else being hit by a car first. obviously she would walk around someone just standing there, so the suggestion that a car would go straight over her instead of just walking around her is absurd to her. if you told her that cars LIKE to squish you if you're in the road which can kill you then she might be able to understand this by connecting it to an experience with a bigger, ruder dog bowling her over. it can be hard to write her dialogue because speaking necessarily means that she's anticipating SOME reaction from the person she's speaking to, but the limited scope of understanding is weird and how she arrives at the expectations she has in an interaction can be unintuitive.

everyone in the family feels a little weird in different ways about it. i think evelyn is the chillest about it. it just makes communicating a lot more direct. in the above portion where she calls adam "dad," there was something about adam seeming hesitant/uncomfortable with her calling him that, but i'm on the fence about it. to trouble that's just a word you can say to get this particular person's attention. she probably learned it from emily, specifically. emily does her best to cope with the change in dynamic, i know i've been trying to gear myself up to write a sketch strip where trouble and emily talk about trouble's experience dying and her thoughts on the fact that emily had her euthanized. emily probably finds it more stressful than trouble does, as she has more ethical expectations for herself and others than trouble does. i've made a joke that emily mentions trouble talking makes her uncomfortable Once and trouble just never says anything again. generally trouble doesn't speak to strangers at all; she's been taught to ignore them long before she can talk. i don't think trouble feels weird about it. "weird" is probably not a concept she would grasp strongly. something is either threatening, interesting, or nothing. "weird" to trouble would just be threatening. the amount she expects the family dynamic to NOT change even though she can talk is probably weird to the other family members. relatedly, it's never really implied that trouble wants to stand up -- the opposite, even.

[13eyond13]

This is from a while back buy I'm super curious, why do you hate Fahrenheit 451?

Hahaha. Oh Fahrenheit 451.

So I just read it for the first time this year. All I knew about it beforehand was that it was a highly praised classic, often taught to people in high school, and that it was a dystopian novel that involved bookburning. I thought that because of these things it was going to be like a 1984 book about how censoring literature for containing controversial material, regardless of the context/meaning/purpose of the story, is a dangerous thing to do. Something that is probably good to think about and continue to teach kids!

Instead what I got was some half-baked dystopian world that is very much just Ray Bradbury whining hysterically for several hundred pages about how TV is rotting everybody's brains. ESPECIALLY the brains of women/housewives, it seems. Society is burning books in the novel mostly just because they can't be assed to read anything anymore now that TV is here, so they make it highly punishable by law to read at all? And somehow erase all record of people ever reading for pleasure in less than a couple of generations (there are old people in the world who still like reading, so it must have been fairly recent - but I don't know, the worldbuilding really doesn't make a lot of sense and left much to be desired for me).

The scene that really cemented my hatred for this book is the one in which the protagonist (who very randomly has an epiphany that reading is actually GOOD because of an underage manic pixie dream girl neighbour who flirts with him) barges in on his wife trying to have a nice time watching TV with her housewife friends and rudely shuts the TV off and forces them to have awkward small talk with him instead. At some point one of the housewives mentions having C-sections when she gave birth because she was scared of being in immense pain (which somehow is supposed to help prove to the readers what godless lazy morons people have become since the invention of TV? As if C-sections aren't often medically necessary and also a painful major surgery). The protagonist then yells at his wife and all her friends, calling them monsters, then starts forcefully reading pretentious poetry to them. The whole time my jaw was on the floor and I was not on his side at all, like. OMG! Shut the hell up and let the ladies enjoy watching a show together and to have a C-section when they give birth if they want to, hahaha. It was like the cringiest r/iamverysmart thing I'd ever read...

THEN to top it all off there was an afterword by Ray Bradbury where he essentially blames minorities, POC, and women for being the enemies of "good aesthetics," which is apparently the main "censorship" he's concerned about in books:

I enjoyed the prose in the book and some of the more creepy off-the-wall parts of it, like The Mechanical Hound (a robot dog with 8 legs that runs around and euthanizes whatever its programmed to smell). But overall I thought it read like the temper tantrum of a conservative asshole man-child who doesn't bother recognizing his own privilege and who looks down his nose snobbishly at anyone who doesn't share his hobby of reading or his exact taste in literature. The argument the book was making didn't ring very true to me, and the dystopian future it presented didn't make a lot of sense to me, so the fact that this is STILL considered one of the best books of all time really annoyed me and threw me for a loop. 😅

[loominggaia]

razzek

If this doesn't end in 100% Itchy, those pollsters are lying. XD

niittinaatti

I'm gonna go with Morbus, putting your crush's wife in a coma and trying to persuade him into having her euthanized is pretty hard to forgive

kid-az

Boy do I regret not picking Morbus after remembering just what happened in Love Poison….. Skel is an ass but atleast he wouldn’t do THAT!

aveture

Ah I forgot about morbus and the love poison. Can I change my answer to that?

kid-az asked:

No joke I actually really loved Morbus as a character until Love Potion. After that all I want is for her cats to leave her and be adopted by better people and her being unable to find a cure for her outwards appearance being (Half) as nasty as she is on the inside.

-- -- --

These are all good points! I think in the name of fairness, we should have a break down of each candidate's most punch-worthy actions...

Itchy: "Allegedly" fucked a goat, burglarized homes, mugged people at knife-point, calls people slurs, assaulted an elderly person unprovoked, various peeping-tom behaviors, straight up murdered a dryad once, stole a horse from a soldier.

COUNTERPOINT: He has poor impulse control due to brain damage, some of these behaviors are not really his fault. Once he understands what he's done wrong, he usually feels bad and tries to make up for it. Usually. He's very capable of love and empathy for others, he just doesn't show it at the appropriate times.

Lukas: Murdered his own mother, is verbally and sometimes physically abusive to his crewmen, almost axe-murdered his best friend while drunk, victim-blamed a crewman who was sexually assaulted, tried to goad Zeffer into suicide and then hired an assassin to take him out when he refused.

COUNTERPOINT: Lukas acts the way he does due to immense trauma, and he's fully aware that his behavior is unacceptable. Recently in the series he has expressed remorse and taken steps to become a nicer, more empathetic person. He takes full responsibility for the pain he's caused others and doesn't make excuses for it. He is ashamed of his nasty behavior and is trying to understand why he acts the way he does, so that he doesn't keep repeating his mistakes.

Gwyneth: Cheats on, takes advantage of, and abuses her "husband" Brogan, extremely greedy and miserly, regularly insults people for no reason, flirts with married women and tries to break up marriages.

COUNTERPOINT: Gwyneth has endured the horrors of retail for decades. 'Nuff said. (Just kidding...In reality, she was kidnapped by slavers and quickly learned that the world is brutal and unforgiving, so she fears showing any sign of weakness or tenderness towards others. Bad experiences in her life have hardened her. She was probably aloof to begin with, but the experience of being kidnapped kind of "broke" her emotionally.)

Skel: Racist, misogynistic, classist, arguably transphobic, almost abandoned his crewman Jeimos in a hostile territory, verbally abusive to his crew and everyone around him, general asshole behavior.

COUNTERPOINT: Much of Skel's bigotry is hypocritical, and it's apparent by his contradictory thoughts and behaviors that he's quite mentally ill. His actions are much kinder than his words, and he performs these kind actions in secrecy, as if afraid to show any kind of "weakness" in front of others. Much of his hostile behavior is due to untreated mental problems.

Frederick: Literally stole candy from a baby, physically assaults people (including his own father) to get what he wants, acts arrogant and defiant, bullies others for fun.

COUNTERPOINT: Frederick is young and most of these behaviors are a result of bad parenting on his father's part. As he grew into his teens, Frederick started realizing this behavior wasn't getting him anywhere in life and promised to change. He has shown gradual positive changes ever since, though he does still slip back into his bullying ways from time to time.

Morbus: Neglected her son in favor of her career, abandoned her family, sold harmful drugs for decades, fetishizes and sexually harasses male satyrs, acts sexually aggressive towards Che, verbally abuses just about everyone, poisoned Philippa into a coma out of jealousy, forces her pets to live in her nasty hoard, generally snotty, selfish, and rude behavior.

COUNTERPOINT: I think it's obvious that Morbus is very, very mentally ill. This woman has been spiraling into Hell for over a century, completely untreated, and all the fumes from her alchemy career probably didn't help. I think some of her behavior is just due to her shitty upbringing, and she probably is a bit of a selfish bitch at her healthiest. But I also think her more extreme behaviors are the result of sickness and trauma that were left unchecked for way too long. To her credit--and this is a big deal imo--she does display some empathy and usually rights her wrongs eventually...granted, she'll reach the point of nearly killing someone before she does, but tends to shape up at the very last minute and save them from herself. She also apologizes for her actions once her conscience beats her over the head hard enough, showing that she's not a total psychopath. Morbus is undoubtedly a despicable individual, but it's hard to say how much of that behavior is really within her control. She gives the impression that she's been fighting a horde of personal demons all her life...and she's not winning.

With all that said, if you haven't voted yet, you still have 6 days to do so! ---> Poll Here <---

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Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[redfish-blu]

I’m going to be controversial for a minute:

Korse has to be the worst Danger Days character. He was cool and villainous in the music videos but he really overstayed his welcome. It was over for him after SING. He served his purpose, and cut to 12 years down the line, why on earth is he still around?

His C Plot in the comics is my largest criticism of that whole mess in itself. It was unnecessary and took up so many pages that should have been dedicated to Red and Blue, whose arc actually has something to do with the world building and waking Destroya. Not to mention their story is almost an exact mirror of Korse’s anyways except it’s relevant to the plot.

We didn’t need Korse to be redeemed (well they attempted to redeem him but they didn’t accomplish it. They just pulled a Walking Dead and Governor’d him). We didn’t need him to have a sob story. Especially because they didn’t set anything up for the other Scarecrows (you know the fucking villains?). Out of all the BL/i bad guys, the Scarecrows are meant to be the most terrifying. They are allowed personality and freedom over others because of their willingness (programmed or not, it isn’t really clear. Fucking Amazing writing strikes again) to Kill People. Scarecrows know they’re brutalizing humans where as Dracs do not; and Exterminators likely do not either. That is what sets them apart and makes them truly formidable and dangerous. Because they are willingly offing people for their own status and gain.

BL/ind is the ANTAGONIST. We aren’t supposed to feel bad for any of the fascists!! Not one of them! What the fuck?? Korse is shown to still be out euthanizing people, and he wanted to keep his job too. He hasn’t “changed for the better”, he’s a domestic terrorist. Korse didn’t apologize or make up for a single thing he did as a Scarecrow. The second he wasn’t getting benefits (and the benefit of the doubt) he cut and run.

Korse didn’t interact with any of the main characters (save for Val I guess but they don’t mean anything to one another and they didn’t talk). The Girl never saw him or had any awareness of what he was doing. She probably thought he was dead, or just gone. What in the hell was the point of him even being there if he had no part in furthering her arc (I’m kidding myself here a little because the writers did not give two shits about The Girl either)? He is the one who murdered the Four in cold blood and Drac’d The Girl’s mom, if we aren’t forgetting that… I sure as hell don’t believe that would just slip her mind either.

But I know the reason they did all that bs, because doing something different would make a better story, and the people writing anything related to Danger Days are allergic to making nuanced narrative decisions. Especially if they’re writing legacy characters (all of the Fab Four, Cherri Cola, The Girl, Korse, Show Pony, Doc). We got an attempted redemption arc for the serial killing white guy where all of his actions were just cleaved off of him and “actually it was the Director who was at fault for everything he did!” And not to mention the Director… Just makes the entire thing 100x worse (re: racism).

Think of what we could have gotten if we weren’t wasting pages on Korse’s arc where we ultimately learned nothing about him except that he has half a brain and a nameless boyfriend who dies less than a page after we meet him. And that he got fired for not killing enough people. Yes that is what he got fired for, not because he came to Jesus and realized he was doing something bad. He only wanted out after he got demoted. What the hell.

[olderthannetfic]

regarding this post

I was waiting in the vet and as one does chatted with a random stranger also waiting in the vet's office. We got to talking and I mentioned that most of my family's cats were rescues from where people had dropped them off at the local Mcds/gas station combo.

She then told me that she didn't understand people who would do that and if she couldn't take her dog somewhere with her when she moved she would have him euthanized. I didn't really respond beyond an ah.

Because while I can kind of understand where she's coming from: our area had a major abandoned animal issue, no shelters, one vet who only opened their clinic about a year or two before, no animal control, and a lot of people who thought both collars and spaying/neutering were bad for their pets, but weren't inclined to try to keep their animals away from other animals when necessary.

LIKE HELL I'M EVER GONNA TAKE THAT MINDSET!!

I don't call myself a pet parent, I'll admit I spoil my cats to the point where I probably line up with those folks, but my cats are very important members of my family.

To me, those lines come off as, "well, I either have to abandon the pet or euthanize the pet." uh, no? rehome. Even in our area with all its issues there were volunteer groups who were trying their best to find solutions for people and get people aware of the fact that spaying/neutering isn't a bad thing [and it was working! fixing was going up!]

It just feels like a very casual dismissal of what a person's responsibilities are to their pets. And how can a heart not break thinking of such a possibility??

And at first, my response was, "Well, maybe I'm looking at this from a place of privilege, I've never actually been forced to choose between my cats and a roof over my head," but then I realized that anyone who can choose euthanization probably is as well. Euthanization costs money.

Euthanization for a healthy animal because you don't want to rehome them is just.... sad.

Anyway, no matter how rural you live, there may be animal resources by you! Also, alot of animal programs don't merely just help pets find homes, some will help people in financial need feed their pets as well so the rehoming isn't necessary. They can help you afford spaying/neutering! If someone is struggling and they have pets, animal resources are often willing to help! I only learned a couple of years ago about the, many resources will help with food and other things so I always feel it's important to share that aspect.

--

[lindentreeisle]

Raz died a week ago today

I'd inadvertently turned my ringer off, but I picked up the phone and the text I'd received said "There is an emergency and I can't get in touch with you or your emergency contact. Please call me back." I've never received a text like that. I knew the news was more likely to be about my bird than my cat, and I knew it was going to be devastating.

On Christmas Day, they told me, she was chirping and seemed normal. On the 26th, she was motionless on her side on the bottom of the cage. I had them send me photos. I had them promise to freeze her for me since I wasn't due home til the 31st. Then I broke down and sobbed before cleaning myself up so I could go out in the living room and break down again as I told my parents and brother and a pair of family friends what had happened.

There's no sign on her body or in the cage of what could have killed her. Even if I got a vet to agree to a necropsy I'd probably never know for sure. It could have been a virus, or bacteria, or nothing at all. She was 9 and a half, which is late middle age if not old for a budgie. It might have been something that if I'd been there, I would have seen the symptoms and acted- birds hide illness even better than cats, and close observation is often the only way to realize something is wrong. But I might not have. It's quite possible that if I'd been home, I would have been the one walking into the house after work or a night's sleep or a trip to visit a friend and finding her dead.

I don't feel guilty for not being there; I'm honestly glad that it wasn't me that found her. Stupidly, the thing I felt guilty about was that the week before I left on my trip, she'd barely gotten any out of cage time because I'd been so preoccupied by work stress, emotional stress, and some pain issues I was struggling with. I felt bad leaving her to spend all day every day in the cage while I was out of town, and I promised that when I got home I would spend some quality time with her.

I'm glad I was with my family when I found out: I had distractions, people to talk to and hug, reassurance that even when we were just hanging out in the same room with our separate pursuits, I wasn't alone. By the time I flew out on Sunday, I thought I was as ready to go home as I was going to be. The thought of cleaning out her cage no longer broke me into pieces. I had researched crematories. I was still looking often at pictures and videos of Raz, but I no longer cried continuously while I did it; I was able to look at them with fondness instead of just fixating on the fact that I would never hear that call, see that behavior, ever again. I was starting to think about getting more birds and looking at breeders; the idea of cleaning out Raz's things felt more bearable when I thought of it as preparing for future tenancy rather than clearing away the remains of a life.

Sitting in the airport and then on the plane, I was full of anxiety and dread, which seemed out of proportion to what I was facing.

The first thing I did after turning on the lights and putting down my luggage was to go to the freezer and examine her, because I had to know if there were any obvious signs of what killed her. When I've euthanized cats, I was holding them when they still died. Maybe it's that slow transition of the body from something alive to something clearly dead that makes holding it at that moment so painful. Raz was the first pet I'd seen dead without experiencing the death. It wasn't hard or even really sad: it wasn't her, she wasn't there. It was when I walked upstairs and into the back bedroom (her room, my office) that I burst into tears, looking into her empty cage.

I didn't sleep until 4 am, when I was too exhausted to feel sad any more. A friend chatted with me on the phone for most of it, keeping me company. Yesterday I kept the grief at bay by keeping busy: breaking down some old furniture I'm throwing out, cleaning out the cage, throwing away the toys too worn to reuse or impossible to sterilize, washing and boiling the ones I decided to keep. Trying to think ahead, not back. I even managed to collect all my photos and videos of her from their various sources and make sure all were backed up in two locations.

Grief can be delayed, but not denied. Not when the house itself, which Raz has lived in as long as I have, is a reminder of loss. I come home through the backyard after dark and the light in the back bedroom is off- because Raz doesn't live there any more. I start up the stairs and want to call out "hey birben!" and hear her call back, but I can see the back bedroom door is ajar and the room is dark- because Raz doesn't live there any more. I get up in the morning and want to go to the bedroom and pull the cover off her cage, saying "good morning, smallest friend!"- but Raz doesn't live there any more. At 10 pm it's bird bedtime and I want to cover the cage, turn off the lights, and hear the chorpling that only happens when she settles down to sleep- but Raz doesn't live here any more.

I don't know how to live in this house without her in it. I don't know how to sit at this desk in my back bedroom without her sitting next to me. I don't know how to exist in total silence without her friendly chatter- yells and shrieks of outrage or excitement, sharp chirps to greet or check on me, soft "nheck"s of affection and acknowledgement, gentle squeaking when I was nearby and she was thoroughly happy.

I have people who will talk to me, keep me company, try to comfort me, when I need them. I'm grateful. But it doesn't ease this unshakeable sense of absence, the sadness that comes from the near-constant reminders that despite Marduk's company, despite the support of friends and family, I've lost something that I valued immensely but have only now realized was a much larger part of my life than I had fully appreciated.

I just miss my friend.

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

So we’ve all established that Zeke is very against pregnancy but how about this? ADOPTION! In a way he’s helping someone brought into the world by the cruelty of others instead of him and darling being the ones to do so. Not his dirty work, no guilt on his part, an orphan earns a home, and darling gets the child she didn’t know she wanted. Everyone wins!

In one possible scenario, I could see Zeke taking in an Eldian child that had grown close to darling and who’s parents were probably shot in the streets by Marleyians and Devil Darling probably jumped to their rescue. Of course Zeke had to step in and wield his title before they’re both killed. And right as the officers are explaining that the kid no longer has family to care for them and as an agitator (probably for trying to defend their now deceased parents) and a nonMarlyian they are going to take the kid away.

Perhaps darling yells that she’ll take them in the heat of the moment, desperately not wanting to see an innocent child die. They disregard darling but when ZEKE confirms, they bend slightly more. Having the brat trained to become a warrior will make them useful (and shorten their lifespan) so it’s no loss on them.

And Zeke of course uses the kid to tie darling down and keep them on a tight leash. He would never kill them but that doesn’t mean his influence with the higher ups during their training won’t help solidify their chances of inheriting a titan. Sure they could become a hero but Darling doesn’t want a dark life of trauma for THEIR child now do they?

Oooh I diggggg 👀 A child already born would be great for him, even if he never imagined he'd have any or be a father at all. It keeps Darling more complacent to be with him, and he's not as terrible a father as he thought he'd be. Still very manipulative, but also warm and genuinely caring for the child. He gets attached and doubles down even more on his plan to ensure the world doesn't hate his people AND his family any more

One note: he DOES NOT indoctrinate his kid towards any kind of ideology, since he has bad memories of his own parents doing that just like his schoolteachers did. He encourages them to keep an open mind, consider all points of view, etc. He also keeps planning on what he'll say if his kid discovers the euthanization plan and confronts him on it though, since he knows it's...kind of hypocritical to force HIS views on the entire race of Eldians. But for the greater good!

[kellanved-ammanas]

TF2 Drabbles: Pyro/Medic - Only So Much I Can Do

Summary: Could I request something with pyro maybe sad/ angsty?

[A/N]: Content warning on this one for animal/pet death, specifically a cat. It had be so with this prompt because, y'all remember the painting I did of Pyro with some kittens a while back? The patterning on their fur was inspired by my beloved cat Tommie who passed away early December last year. So this was the first thing I thought of when looking at the prompt.

~

“Sorry Pyro, there’s only so much I can do. The medi-gun fluid doesn’t work as well on other animals. I have some formulated to work on birds but… that would likely be even less effective on a cat.”

“Could you make some to work on cats?” Pyro knew the answer already though, didn’t he? But he had to ask.

Medic grimaced a little as he looked down at Spark lying in her cute little cat bed on the operating table. The overhead medi-gun had been on her for several hours now and she still didn’t seem much better. “I could but it would likely take too long to be of much help to her.”

Yep, of course. That made sense. Creating new medicines took time and that wasn’t something they had a lot of. Just over a week ago Spark had seemed healthy and happy and now… she couldn’t even stand up. It hadn’t helped that for the first few days when she’d stopped eating, Medic had been away from base, delaying Pyro being able to take her to him to even look at, let alone try to help.

“So,” Medic continued, “I could either prolong her life as much as possible but I doubt she’ll be comfortable. Or I could euthanize her and put her out of her misery.”

The medi-gun had a decent pain relief effect, never complete though until the wound was fully healed. So, less effective healing on cats probably meant that that was also less effective. Meaning Spark was indeed probably suffering but was too weak to do anything about it but lie there until she died, which would indeed take longer when under the medi-gun. Being able to hold and pet her for longer would be nice but not at the expensive of her suffering lasting longer too so…

“Euthanize her, please.” Pyro wasn’t ready to lose her but he never would be no matter how long she lived for.

“Of course.” Medic pat a hand on Pyro’s shoulder, stiff and awkward as comforting people wasn’t something he had much experience with but the honest attempt made it so anyway.

[sinclair-wax-fan]

I don’t think Victor actually saw patients at the Sinclair’s home during his time as a doctor.

I think all the medical equipment we saw only came later, when Trudy was very sick, with Victor investing in some last ditch off the book medical experiments to try and save her.

And when I say “save her”--there’s actually three versions of how that could be interpreted:

1) Victor kept attempting medical solutions long past when other doctors would have just said “all we can do is make her comfortable,” partially out of co-dependency and largely out of professional pride--and probably greatly to the detriment of his wife’s quality of life in those last few months. 

2) Trudy was not actually in immediate danger of dying due to the tumor, rather that it just altered her personality so drastically (delusions, outburst of violent rages, ongoing disorientation, even possible neurological affects that caused her to loose partial use of her hands or vision--thus requiring her be physically cared for) that he decided to “fix her”/”bring back” the woman he loved--in a manner involving deeply unethical and likely unnecessary medical treatments. 

(This is the interpretation I tend to gravitate to personally--because I think it most reflects how Victor and Trudy saw the world, as extrapolated by their handling of Bo: utilizing any method available--no matter how extreme or unethical or abusive--they thought would make a person behave “the right way.”)

3) The darkest timeline: Trudy never had a tumor. She simply had a severe mental/personality disorder Victor grew tired of dealing with and he decided to try and “fix her.” 

(I personally find this a little too extreme for my taste, but it would be in-line with HoW’s schlocky over the top melodrama.) 

Regardless of how it went down:

I personally headcanon that at the end--whether due to affects of Victor’s medical experiments or him simply being unable to stop growth of the tumor--Trudy was largely gone mentally, nearly reduced to catatonia, but still very much alive. Possibly--though possibly not, depending on how you want to spin it--with months or even years ahead of her. 

I think Victor killed himself partially out of shame and largely out of not wanting to deal with the reality of the situation.

He didn’t want to be left the single father of three high-needs teenagers, while forced to care for his now disabled wife, who he now viewed as nothing more than a testament of his professional and personal failures. 

So he killed himself, and left his kids to deal with the fallout.

And this is all a very long way of sharing this final headcanon:

I don’t think Trudy simply passed away on her own.

I think Vincent euthanized her.

Now--as I said above, I personally like to believe Trudy really did have a tumor and I think it’s clear that Vincent genuinely loved his mother. So, I don’t think this would have been his go too option right out of the gate--I think he would have tried to carrying on care for her on his own for several months. Eventually, however, I think it would quickly wear him down to the point he could no longer continue doing so.

And at that point--after all the behavior that had been modeled for him, with the emphasis that you never revealed “family matters” to outside people and the glaring fact that Bo was likely actively beginning to kill people at this point--I think he would have seen euthanizing her as the only option available to him, and likely the kindest thing to do, in his mind.

I think he also never told Bo what he did.

(For many complicated reasons.)

At the end of the day, I think Trudy’s death is the one death Vincent has caused that he harbors real guilt over.

[captaiinobvious]

my cat had a horrible fear of plastic bags and shes finally getting over it. she used 2 run and hide and cower if u even pulled a garbage bag out much less opened it. now she doesnt even run!

tw GIANT BUMMERS discussed lolz

i think she was scared cuz she was my great grandparents cat b4 they passed and then she was alone in their house almost all day every day (except when she got fed) and every once in awhile people would come thru the house w tons of garbage bags and take everything out. and then it would be loud then everything familiar would be gone when she comes out of hiding from all the loud noise. also she has really bad separatiom anxiety if u put her in a different room she cries and cries and cries. probably cuz 1 day her Ppl left (4 the hospital/home) and just never came back. i always wonder what she thinks happemed. cats have a habit of sneaking off 2 die somewhere sheltered so i wonder if she recognized that as what happened or if she just thought they left her there. im really mad abt how my moms parents left her there like tht and were just gonna drop her off at a shelter knowing full well that an old black cat would 99% b euthanized (their mom said this) after they PROMISED my great grandparents they would take care of her and my great grandparenrs asked about her every day when my moms parents visited them in the home and all that time she was just alone in their old house. if my mom knew what she was going thru they would have scooped her up months earlier.

poor lulu has had a hard time but now she has a loving home and soooo many pets and kisses and a variety of laps 2 sit in. lots of treats and the best foodz we can get her. and compassion when she attacks us cuz she does lmao she has single cat syndrome. she gets overstimulated and bites you. 2 playful and bites u. scared and she bites u. shes getting so much better tho and even when she bites its way softer and she doesnt even draw blood anymore. so proud of her. my great aunt lulu XD