#she's a cliquey mean girl and i HATE IT

[girlreblogger]

the annoyance with blk y/n and the stories she’s in is hilarious. her characteristics might be the problem one day or her side characters the next. it legit feels like we may never get to a balanced solution on what to do with our own representation since the wrong ppl always talk about it and create it. we have mean and shallow ppl who take over the conversation, ppl who really self hate but try and cover it up with “i just don’t want her to be a stereotype” and then the ones who probably love and support tyler perry movies.

the bottom line is the ppl who do write those niggafying, toxic (it’s a buzzword but that’s what they are) or smutty fics (not talking abt the actual good ones with a blk reader though 🧎🏽‍♀️) can do wtv they want and owe you nothing. that’s why they get so frustrated. i don’t think all the times those should be crucified for what they write when other groups of ppl (or our own) write all kinds of other crazy shit.

and.. i know a lot of ppl who don’t want to say it but y’all keep bringing up the smut and niggafying as the main problem, but i think it’s some of the ppl writing it and their underlings. it’s just no one wants to say anything.

an excerpt from a draft of mine

“a lot of ppl on here be weirdos or mean asl. so when someone block you don’t be like “oh what i did” “they that mad cause of my (internet—fictional—digital on screen) presence”

like nobody got time to go to your acc and say “i don’t like you” who cares. oddly some miserable ppl do actually but still. the lack of awareness is ridiculous. that’s why ppl don’t f with y’all.”

i was talking abt all of tumblr and every other app but it applies here.

from what i see on here, some are just straight up weird, cliquey, and chiesty (if that’s how you spell it) and that’s why ppl be so mad abt those types of books 💀. we also have to acknowledge the amount of overwhelming & honestly damaging blk yn fics (not to be confused with ppls screwed ideas of stereotypical) there are. i understand why ppl write them for personal reasons but when it comes to our own reflections of ourselves as blk women it’s almost hurtful to read some of the things people put “her” through. i mean even her with a white man that use aave and has cornrows is hurtful.. 😔 (i’m trolling now 💀) naw but fr. i personally don’t like reading blk women just being written for smut or going through crazy situations or kinda like.. i don’t wanna say unfulfilling but like.. idk i can’t think of the word. (edit: ppl write blk yn to be in unfulfilling situations) but girl i can watch a tyler perry movie for all that.

again. ppl write these stories for there own personal reasons, relate to them and enjoy them for those reasons as well. that’s why depending! on what it is i don’t think blk writers should be bombarded with hate like that. also ion think smut should be banned like y’all go to far can we just slow down on it … there are some nice ones out there i promise 🧎🏽‍♀️

but in all seriousness there are many other reasons why i feel toxic and smutty fics are popular for blk yn but i don’t think anyone cares to hear that and the conversion will prolly go back to nigga eren somehow which is crazy cause y’all be arguing over a fictional white man.

oh! 😒 i almost forgot 😒 the ppl who are against “ghetto” y/n to try and advocate for more fluffy or like.. normal (healing) stories and from what i see the ppl who are the most up in arms about it in my personal opinion seem to dislike certain parts of blkness that i appreciate personally and so i just straight up disregard their opinions. y/n doesn’t have to “act” (😒) blk but i see ppl get mad about her protecting her hair….. with a bonnet….

sigh, anyway but yeah we need more soft and sweet fics or just like calming ones? but someone gon have to write it! i don’t like this app or my writing all too much so i gave up a while ago.

just like many other blk writers….

gaspp! we should also do like a fluff challenge or sumn where writers do like fluff … march? girl idk so maybe that will trend and all the ppl who spend time arguing and going back and forth with ppl who write stories they don’t like can like idk look for other writers who write soft, normal, fun stories and reblog them or make a list of them. or maybe like possibly write their own stories too????

everyone says the smut fics gets the most likes and they do. that’s why you keep seeing them. so maybe support or refreakingblog the fics that are comforting to you so others can be as well.

i actually made this page to repost softer fics because i was tired of blocking certain tags so i can avoid heavy smut and subtly abuse fics. also pls leave the ppl who niggafy anime characters alone they will not be stopped. i mean we still have ppl who have been calling chris evans jamal since 2020.. calling him that to this date. married and all.

sigh… 2 more days until blk history month ends. maybe next year we can find a balance between “dramatic” and smutty fics and soft and slice of life ones for blk y/n next year. remember this is tumblr too and the ppl writing aren’t even getting paid for this but it’s for the ppl yk.

ppl who are respectful and reblog tho.

muah

[melancholiaenthroned]

ok ive slept on it i feel like i can talk about the ep better now... basically whats craziest to me is that if any of it was intentional it could be so good. i dont think wed ever actually get a season where the bad kids r protrayed as in the wrong, but if they were a little more self aware the ways that theyve also been overtaken by rage could be seen. gorgug especially, and especially because it was channeled through porter's mentorship, who the bad kids can conceptualize as manipulating gorgug but not the rat grinders. its interesting because esp w/o their favorite npcs this season the bad kids have rlly closed in on themselves and become a lot more codependent, seeming to constantly suspect anyone new of possibly betraying them. which in a meta way makes sense, cuz its players v brennan, but in universe it comes across as crazy paranoid and cliquey and theyre just so unaware of it that any way it could have come across as interesting comes across as frustrating instead. like a lot of what they do and say to the rat grinders comes across as straight up bullying, and they genuinely seem to derive pleasure from putting them down. which again, in a meta way makes sense, but in universe it makes u wonder WHY were meant to find the rat grinders dislike of the bad kids so horrible when the bad kids hatred is justified. even kipperlily at her worst thoughts -- those are thoughts she shared in therapy. are we meant to begrudge a 17 year old girl speaking to her therapist about her feelings? not even actions, literally just thoughts in her head? that she was again sharing, and probably couldve worked through if not for magical interference, confidentially in therapy? were meant to hate ruben, who doesnt even LIKE kipperlily either, who didnt start becoming the person the bad kids seem to hate until AFTER he died and was magically resurrected changed. why? oh because hes an enemy and this is a battle episode and hes on the field. ruben acting in what is quite literally self defense and being told "you were a waste of time" and having no idea whats going on and responding "what do you mean? youre killing my friends!" i swear to god if that insight check on buddy hadnt been a nat 1 i think we honestly would have gotten a whole different episode

[babiebom]

What Clique they would belong to if they were in Bully(2006)

A/N: because I wanna play this game on stream and have been watching old videos about it <3 also there’s no real emo clique but all the emo goth kids are in a specific clique that you will see very soon

Tw: mentions of bullying, cursing, some maybe nsfw stuff

Bc: idk like 5 each?

Stardew Masterlist

Sebastian

Okay see this is what I was talking about

There is no EMO clique in this game

Like the closest thing is the Townies so he’s going to that clique

Is you don’t know what the townies are they are the high schoolers that don’t go to Bullworth Academy and half of them look alt

The reasoning is Sebastian is too cool to be with the nerds

But he’s not cool enough to be in like the others

Like he isn’t preppy at all

He isnt a bully bc he’s antisocial and would rather just not talk to anyone

He isn’t a jock at ALL

If I had to put him with any of the ones at school he would be with the greasers but in reality he doesn’t fit in with them other than like his love of motercycles

Shane

Okay so he would definitely be in the jocks

He literally was a gridball star

He is an athletic man who has just let himself go

In high school his depression was not as bad or it didn’t even exist at that point

So dude would be with the jocks, laughing at nerds and being the captain of the football team

Sam

He doesn’t fit in any of the cliques unfortunately

Just like his bestie (guess where Abby is gonna go)

So townie he goes

He’s too nice to be in the jocks or bullies

He’s way too cool for the nerds

And dude is not a greaser

So oof townie he has to beeeeeeeeee

Elliott

King of the preppies

Again he gives me pretentious vibes which match with the preppies really well

Would think he’s better than you

And is a rich kid

It literally just makes sense

Harvey

Nerds

Dude is a doctor with a special interest in planes

Definitely in the nerd clique

But I don’t think he would be bullied as much because the girls in different cliques think he’s cute

So they’d be like “hehe Harvey can you help me with my homework? I promise to make it worth it”

And he’s like “yeah sure!!” And absolutely ignores their flirting attempts because he’s oblivious

Alex

Jocks

I mean what else would he be in?

If Shane is the captain of the team Alex would be the quarterback (are they different things? Idk?)

Like actually the most popular guy in school

If I have to pick a second clique for him it would be bullies

Haley

Preppies

Like rich blonde girl that’s pretty? Duh

While I do think she bullied people in high school

She’s too bougie to be in the bullies clique they’re too ghetto for her

And I’m pretty sure it’s the preppy girls who are cheerleaders which she definitely is

Captain of the cheerleading team by the way

Penny

Nerds

But like Harvey all the guys like her (in a very bad kind of way they wanna corrupt her)

So she doesn’t get bullied often

Can always be seen in the library reading

Is actually really pretty and the preppy girls hate her because she gets a lot of attention especially bc she’s a redhead

Emily

Only one to be non cliquey

She doesn’t fit in ANYWHERE

And that’s a blessing and a curse for her

Since her sister is a prep she isn’t bullied relentlessly

But she also doesn’t have a group of people to fall back on

But people in multiple cliques like her

She’s like popular but not popular if you know what I mean

Like if someone tries to bully her a random jock would be like

“Yo thaTS Emily she’s cool leave her alone”

Leah

Unfortunately for her she would be a preppy girl

Because this is high school we’re talking about

And Leah was a normie before she ran away to become an artist

So she would be in the preps and would HATE IT

Severely dislikes Haley and wants to fight her

Never hangs out with them unless it’s to keep up appearances or on campus so she isn’t kicked out and bullied

Maru

Nerds

Literally gets bullied everyday because why tf are you so socially unaware?

Also she isn’t hot enough (unfortunately) to escape the bullying

The guys that like her like her because she’s ethnically exotic to them

She’s popular among the nerds though because of her smarts

Literally could lead them if she wanted to

Abigail

Drumroll pleaseeeeeee

She’s a townie what else is new?

Alt girl who is too cool for the uncool kids and too weird for the cool kids

If she had to have a second clique I think she would want to be around the greasers

Simply because I think high school Abby wouldn’t wanna be associated with the nerds

Like does she like the same stuff they do?

Yes

But she would go feral if anyone tried to bully her

The greasers are the right amount of cool for her

Not bully enough that it makes her uncomfy but like they aren’t really bullied by anyone other than the preppies (literally the outsiders)

[mrsbsmooth]

No one I know irl plays love island so I'll just have to leave this here because I'll explode if I don't get it out - LOTTIE DRIVES ME INSANE!!!

I'm doing one last play through for Bobby and the kiss between Lottie and Gary was just exposed at the ministry of sound-party and she is so pigheaded about it!! The way she's been behaving the whole season, "girl code" & "loyalty" that when she's been a cliquey bitch so many times for literally NO reason!!!!!

When they first "found out" during the mean tweets-challenge she could've used that as an opportunity to reflect on her behaviour, why it's messed up and learn & grow from it -- but she just kept being a bitchy baby, getting on everyone's case just for looking at a boy - and now when her shit is exposed she's like it was just a kiss???? FUMING

This is like my single favourite thing about everyone replaying the old seasons, like

REMEMBER HOW MUCH WE ALL HATE LOTTIE?!??!?!?!??!

Literally she was such a hypocrite, but that's why I love those old seasons so much.

She's all about girl code, but she kissed her bestie's crush behind her back.

Hope is a laser-focused career woman, but gets into a tizzy over the string coming out of her hoodie

Priya is all 'I don't need no man' but is so desperately insecure that she can barely open up to talk about how lonely she is.

URGHHHHHH COMPLEX WRITTEN CHARACTERSSSSSS

Lottie's entire character arc is flat. Like she is a whiny bitch baby from start to finish and I absolutely love that. She's jealous of MC's relationship with Gary from start to finish, she never really matures, she just gets better at hiding it.

I hate her so much, but I LOVE how she's written.

I'm so glad for Flo because Lottie was really out her giving Aussies a bad name fr

[greenerteacups]

i read the last chapter and it was AMAZING! i love these characters so much. YULE BALL DID NOT COME TO PLAY. it did have me slightly owrried, and u can choose to not answer this, but should we be worried about daphne causing issues between hermione and draco?

Hey, thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!

So, the shortest answer is, I can't tell you that without spoiling the fun. The slightly less short answer is — actually, hang on, I'm going to give you the less short answer under a cut.

Okay, cool, spoiler liability waived. The less short answer is: yeah, probably! I mean, at the risk of being too cheeky, there have to be problems for there to be a story, right?

Long answer, though, because I think I get what you mean: there's this really old cliché where girls in fiction can only be friends if there's no possibility of them being romantic rivals — like, if one or both of them is taken, or if one is the sister of the other's love interest, or if they have different sexual orientations — and it goes hand-in-hand with the classic conflict of "girls are catty to each other because they like the same boy," which is a pretty tired trope, and doesn't terribly interest me. At least, I'm interested in taking it a level deeper than "women be crazy," because usually, when women are romantic rivals, the actual tension isn't even about the man at all, it's about the way women are perceived in perpetual competition for male validation and are encouraged to treat romance as The Defining Quest of female existence.

It's also not how I see Hermione, necessarily. Does she get jealous? Sure, man. Absolutely. She's a teenager. Does she get catty? Yeah, sometimes! Does she have a little bit of difficulty connecting with other women, especially women who are more feminine or less academically oriented than she is? Totally! Is that probably due to some internalized misogyny that she may even be aware of and yet still can't overcome? I think so!! And most of all, I think exploring those ideas is more interesting than yet another story where two girls hate each other for no reason except that they're competing for a boy's attention. Hermione is irritated by Daphne, but on some level, she understands that neither Daphne nor Draco is the reason she's feeling badly; or, rather, they are, but it's not something they're doing on purpose. One of the big things Hermione's taking away from the Yule Ball experience was the realization that if she doesn't ask for what she wants, she can't expect to get it, and that means she's going to have to put on her big girl boots and get better at expressing her desires. We see this in how her attitude towards Draco changes drastically from the start to the end of the chapter — mostly because (a) she had a good night and realized the date thing Wasn't That Deep, but also (b) she might've realized that he does care for her — he dances with her, he helps her to bed — and, crucially, so does Daphne! Who spends Chapter 43 trying to metaphorically windmill her arms and throw out every signal she can, like: Hey, we're not rivals! I know I kind of fucked this up, but I really want to be your friend here, I swear!

At the end of the day, Daphne is a new initiate to a cliquey friendgroup, and she's the first person to join the Gryffindor Four who has a significant amount in common with Draco. Moreover, Draco hasn't really brought anyone into the friendgroup before — he's always been a satellite to the main three, heavily leaning toward Hermione's end (it's kind of hard to imagine that he'd be friends with Harry or Ron if Hermione hadn't been first). So, naturally, she's the most sensitive to it when she feels that balance shifting, and he becomes a more central locus in the group, especially since Daphne shares things with Draco that none of the other Gryffindors do (and that Hermione, in particular, very much does not). Draco doesn't really care about that — I think it's fairly obvious that Draco's feelings for Daphne are totally platonic, even brotherly, if anything — but Hermione is attentive to it, and it plays into her insecurities. So, yeah, it does cause issues, but not the kinds of issues that make everyone act insufferable and OOC. (In my opinion, anyway. You'll have every right to judge for yourself, and I hope you end up agreeing with me.)

[cannibalcharon]

Back in school I wanted so badly to study art. I’d never taken a formal art class or any kind of elective other than those in performing arts. My mom had a very strict rule that I could not take any elective other than theater or choir, and I could only do theater if I was also in choir.

Why? I was good at singing. I was amazing at singing actually. I did recitals, concerts, won awards, scholarships, had met famous composers like Erik Whitacre and was briefly friends with Ola Gjeilo, a known prodigy in choral circles. I could effortlessly sing soprano and have perfect pitch. My tonal memory is insanely good. Put anything into a song and I’ll remember it.

But I didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t want to pursue something I wasn’t passionate about. My fellow choir students were mean, cliquey and did not have much mercy for the talented-but-insufferably-awkward autistic soprano who always got the descant parts, got the choir awards and took us to state. I hated being depended on by a group of 100+ peers that didn’t like me. I hated that our choral director also very clearly didn’t like me either. She put me front and center so that no one during a concert could see me because her body would block me. I was denied every solo I tried out for despite other choral directors insisting it ought to have been me over her other choices. The one solo I was granted by the band instructor, my choral instructor took away and gave to another girl that struggled with the piece because she didn’t want me to be in the spotlight as a soloist. I remember a friend and fellow composer of Ola Gjeilo’s saying to her, “that student of yours is going to go far” and her reply was, “they don’t deserve it.” I was quiet, awkward. I always did my work and never spoke much because I knew I wasn’t welcome. I was too autistic, too queer, too different. I came from a broken home, I didn’t have friends beyond the “delinquents” who were really just other kids struggling like I was.

All I really wanted to do was study art. I loved to draw. My other teachers always asked me, “why don’t you take art? You’re really good!” And they’d stand there stunned when I’d tell them “My mom won’t let me. She’ll only let me take choir.” Never had they heard such a strange rule based on their quizzical, critical expressions. So I knew it was out of the ordinary. One year I tried to sneak a coding elective into my schedule so I might have something of a career to pursue. My mom found out and pulled me from the class the second semester, and put me in improv because, “it’s the closest open elective to choir and theater.” She was convinced I’d pursue choir and theater if she just forced me to stay in it. That’s the tragic part. Had she not forced me, I very likely would have continued with it. I love to sing. I’m good at it even now two years on testosterone therapy. But now I can’t join a choir or even sing without an overwhelming sense of obligation. I don’t know what she expected or where she hoped it’d take me. The answer was no where. As soon as I graduated I was on my own. There was no getting help from her and I didn’t have a reliable dad to depend on either. I tried to study art in my past time but could never figure out where to start.

As I near 30 I’m finding I have a lot of resentment for this rule she had. I should have been able to pursue electives I was passionate about. I should have been able to enjoy my talents and hobbies without them becoming work and obligation. I should have been able to sing for myself, not her or anyone else. I shouldn’t have had to put up with four years of abuse from my instructor and peers. Instead of having fond memories, I just have a lot of pain. Instead of enjoying my hobbies and nurturing my talents, I’m frustrated and lost in where to start.

So tldr

Don’t force your kids into electives/hobbies they aren’t passionate about. Just don’t force your kids to do electives they don’t want to do.

[sushiosims]

Billy and Morgan - Chapter 4

Morgan gets to school, and she is so busy scanning the hallway for that now familiar, freckly cheery face, she doesn't notice the twisted, angry one heading straight for her 'Where the fuck were you last night? If I call YOU ANSWER' Bruce spat the words like bullets

'Bruce, please don't speak to me like that' Morgan says, embarrassed, truth be told, she is used to being shouted at by him, for not being the 'perfect girlfriend' but not in front of people...

'I will speak to you how I please, now where the fuck were you? With your Junkrat?' Bruce snarls.

Morgan looks at him in disgust, hating his sneering face...what is she even doing with him?

Greta Laurent, a newish student was walking past, and hears what is going on

'Geez Brucey, calm your jets, she was with me last night...damn. You drop an extra roid in your protein shake today?'

Morgan winces, grateful for the save, but she can see the anger in Bruce

'Thanks again for that last night, you really helped me out, you know how much I suck at history' Greta says, looking at Morgan

Morgan stammers 'You're welcome'

'Hey, you have any tampons?' Greta adds

'Er, yeah, in my locker'

'Cool, meet me in the ladies then?' and Greta walks off towards the toilets

'Why did you do that?' Morgan asks as the door closes behind her

Greta grimaces,

'The guy is a dick, he shouldn't be talking to you like that'

Morgan laughs, 'That's a given, but you didn't have to put yourself out, don't get me wrong, I am glad you did, thank you!'

'Anything I can do for you, to repay you?' Morgan asks

'Well, I'm new here, and no offence, but you guys are kinda cliquey' she laughs 'Maybe say hi to me? Let me sit with you all at lunch? Just get me an in?' she asks hopefully laughing self consciously.

Morgan grins, feeling an immediate bond with this girl 'Is that all? Consider it done'

For the remainder of lunch, Morgan sat and chatted to her best friend Luna, 'So yeah, he basically grabbed me, and pinned me, and told me not to disrespect him again...he's always nasty, but this is the first time he has laid a hand on me...so yeah. I think that's it this time'

Luna looks up from her phone in shock 'He hurt you? And wait, what? You are going to break up with Bruce? Actual, for real?'

Morgan nods, fighting back the tears 'My mum is gonna be so mad, but I can't stay with a guy that treats me like that'

'You queen!' Luna cheers

'I know you have always hated him, I just think it's time I started doing what I want, not what is expected of me' Morgan says with determination

Luna laughs, 'And this has nothing to do with a certain new boy with adorable sticky out ears is it?'

Morgan keeps a straight face 'Whatever do you mean?'

Little did they know Wolfgang was sitting behind them, listening to every word. Wait till he tells Billy!

Sitting in class that afternoon, Morgan can't stop thinking about the night before, she looks up, picturing the starry sky, and remembering the feeling of being so close to Billy. Bruce had never made her feel like that. Bruce had never really made her feel anything...she wonders where Billy is, she has been looking out for him all day, but hasn't seen him at all...

A cough and small 'ahem' breaks her out of her reverie

'Excuse me Morgan? Care to share your musings with the class when you come back to earth?'

Everyone giggled and looked at Morgan waiting for a response Without missing a beat Morgan smiles and answers,

'Every star you see in the night sky is bigger and brighter than our sun'

Miss Mayflower blinks and stares blankly at Morgan for a second, 'Well, yes. Very well...seeing as your inner thoughts were educational I will let you off with it this time...but please return to earth for the rest of the lesson' and she goes back to teaching the class

Morgan gets home and Moira had made her dinner, and had a fixed smile on her face 'Morgan, darling, sit down and eat!' she said overly brightly.

Morgan sighs, here they go again. The constant need to be 'perfect' 'Hi mum' she says flatly

'How was school darling?' Moira asks

'Actually not great mum, Bruce was nasty to me again, in front of everyone, I think I need to break up with him' she says sheepishly. And she is surprised it even came out, she didn't mean to say it, but the more she says it, the stronger she feels. She can do this.

Moira's fixed smile cranks up in intensity 'Now now dear, don't be hasty, it's just a little quarrel! And senior prom is coming up! You and Bruce are a dead cert for Prom King and Queen! All the local media are covering it!' her voice rising several octaves

Morgan fixes a smile on her face too 'Yeah, sure, just a stupid quarrel' she can still feel the pain where his fingers had dug into her neck the day before. She makes her excuses and leaves the table. Her mum shaken that her perfect daughter may be fucking up her perfect life.

She gets to the safe haven of her bedroom, and there is a quiet chap on the door. Her big sister Siobhan slips in to the room and sits beside her 'What's going on sis?' she asks concerned 'Is it mum being all Stepford again?'

'Yeah, I told her Bruce was nasty to me, and she basically told me to suck it up, that I have to be prom queen, and get her media attention...I mean, was she like this with you?'

'She tried, but I was too much hard work...when she had you she seen it as her second shot I think' Siobhan tells her, looking apologetic

Morgan sinks her head into her hands, and cries and Siobhan lays a comforting hand on her back 'Hey, its ok, soon I will be 25, my trust fund will be released to me, I will get outta here, you can come stay with me, whenever you need a break, I'm here'

'He hurt me Siobhan'

'Thanks Siobhan, I needed that' Morgan sniffs, all cried out

Siobhan takes her little sisters hands, 'Listen to me, you never, ever take that kind of shit from him again, you hear me? From anyone! Leave mum to me, I will talk to her, but you ever need anything? Talk to me!'

Morgan gets ready for bed, and is scrolling through Sim Bunny, rolling her eyes at all the vapid bullshit, when her phone buzzes, her heart quickens when she sees a picture of Billy's happy face pop up, and she can't help but smile

Billy - Hey Fyre, did you miss me today? :)

She lies back and smiles softly, 'Yes' she thinks

Morgan - No :p

....

Morgan - Where were you anyway?

Billy - Had an errand to run for Dad...anyway, I am up at the Bluffs, its a really clear night if you want to come up, I could teach you some more star stuff? :p

Morgan - Ugh, I am grounded after last night, sounds great though. Send me a picture of the sky!

A picture came through a second later and Morgan smiled and immediately set it as her screensaver.

Morgan - Looks amazing tonight! So bright

Billy - The picture doesn't do it justice, but I don't want you getting into more trouble...another night?

10 minutes pass, and Morgan is still looking at her phone, contemplating sneaking out. She has done it before, plenty of times. Her mum will be in bed listening to her whale noises already

Morgan - You still there? 🙄

Billy - Yep

Morgan - See you in 20 min

Hurriedly dressing, Morgan checks herself out in the mirror before opening her window, and sneaking down the trellis, a move showed to her when she was 15 by Siobhan, and has been well practiced ever since.

For Chapter 5 clicky clicky right...HERE

[goldenclawed]

so the russian blue here is demeter in the new movie.............. i’m not okay

YOU’RE NOT MY DAUGHTER.... MY DAUGHTER IS NOT MEAN

[chloebeale]

february drabble challenge, day #8: “poem”

rating: t

pairing: bechloe

word count: 2.2k

read below or on ao3!

*

Maybe because she pretty much sucks where words are involved in general—honestly, if she could just sit in a corner forever, earbuds stuffed into her ears and laptop in tow, she would be more than happy—Beca has always despised English class.

Truth be told, she really isn’t the biggest fan of school in general—and not just because Beca only really has one real friend (and even then, she is positive Stacie is only friends with her because of their moms).

Beca just…she doesn’t enjoy school. She doesn’t enjoy much of anything really, other than music. Music, she could do all day.

“Rebeca, are those headphones?”

Unfortunately, not everybody agrees.

“No, Mr. Anderson,” Beca says with a shake of her head and a slight jump in her seat. Numerous heads turn toward her, judgment shining from the eyes of people who normally never so much as give her the time of day. Instinctively, she reaches up toward her ears, where her earbuds are, in fact, still nestled inside. Fuck. “Oh, uh,” Beca coughs, and makes every effort to avoid making eye contact with anyone who may chuckle. “Yeah, I guess they are. Sorry. There’s no music playing, I just forgot to take them out after lunch.”

With a lift of his graying brows and a short nod of his head, Mr. Anderson waves a hand in her direction. “I see. Please remove them.”

“Sure,” Beca nods, quickly removing the buds from her ears. “I mean, will do. Sorry, Mr. Anderson.”

Like she needed any further reason to want to walk out of this class and never return.

A smile, brief yet entirely sincere, is Beca’s reminder that there is at least one thing she doesn’t altogether hate about English class, however.

It is pathetic, not to mention entirely pointless, Beca’s insane crush on Chloe Beale. Chloe is the most popular girl in their grade—maybe even in their whole school—because of course she is; Beca couldn’t possibly crush on someone actually attainable, now could she? Everybody is totally in love with Chloe Beale, and unlike many of her cliquey friends, Chloe is actually a nice person. She sits two rows in front and to the left of Beca, and Beca often finds herself staring at the back of her neatly styled curls, watching the way they shine beneath the harsh classroom lighting and flow delicately over her shoulders. If ever Chloe is turned in her direction, and happens to catch Beca’s eye, she offers her a kind smile, and Beca always blushes in response, but tries her best to smile back—just like today.

A little kindness, even in the form of a silent, innocent smile, really does go a long way, so when Mr. Anderson silences the class and announces that they will be starting on the poetry portion of the semester, arguably Beca’s least favorite topic, she doesn’t even flinch.

The same cannot be said for everybody else, though, and Mr. Anderson is met with a chorus of whines and disgruntled groans from the majority of the class. From everybody, in fact, apart from Beca and one other person; Chloe Beale responds with an excited, “Yes!”

A few people smirk and laugh under their breath, though the teacher shoots them a look, before meeting Chloe with a look of pleasant surprise. “You like poetry, Ms. Beale?”

“I do,” Chloe nods enthusiastically, straightening in her seat. “I’ve been reading this book of old poetry lately, I think it’s all super interesting.”

“Okay, nerd,” Bumper Allen sneers, much to the amusement of his just as pathetic friends.

“Shut up, Bumper,” Aubrey Posen snaps, turning in her front row seat to shoot Bumper an icy glare.

“Thank you, Aubrey,” Mr. Anderson frowns, head shaking in disapproval. “There is nothing ‘nerdy’,” he air-quotes the word, “about poetry. I’m sure Chloe can’t be the only person here who enjoys it. Other than myself, of course.”

Silence.

“Nobody?” Mr. Anderson questions with a lifted brow.

“No, ‘cause it’s ner—” Bumper starts, though he is cut off quickly by an uncharacteristically strong voice.

“I do, Mr. Anderson.”

For the second time today, numerous heads swing in her direction, and Beca finds herself warming uncomfortably beneath the judgmental stares she receives.

“Shocker,” Bumper says sarcastically. “Nerd alert.”

“That’ll do, Mr. Allen,” Mr. Anderson warns, his patience clearly already wearing thin. Clearing his throat, he picks up a worn looking book of poetry from his desk. “Now, eyes on me. Maybe by the time we’re done here, Ms. Beale and Ms. Mitchell won’t be the only poetry fans among us.”

As everybody groans and turns toward the front of the class, Chloe lingers a moment longer, and Beca’s cheeks color in response to the kind smile sent her way.

As usual, the period continues on for what feels like an eternity, and by the time the class finally ends, Beca is very much ready to curl up and fall asleep. Unfortunately, she still has several more classes to make it through, so she forces herself to look alive, and begins to sluggishly gather her belongings as her peers filter from the classroom.

“Hey,” an angelic voice, familiar despite the way it never usually addresses her directly, catches Beca’s attention, and in turn, her heart jumps into her throat, head snapping upward.

“Who, me?”

“Yes, silly,” Chloe chuckles fondly, piercing eyes sparkling like bright blue sapphires. “Who else would I be talking to?”

“Um, I don’t—” Beca tries, though her throat feels like it is closing up, and she has to mentally instruct herself to be cool. Quickly shaking her head, Beca forces as much normality as possible to her voice. She does all she can to ignore the confused look Stacie pins her with as she exits the room beyond Chloe’s shoulder. “I mean, hey. Uh, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to say thank you,” Chloe says sincerely. “For pretending you like poetry, too.”

“Wait,” Beca’s nose scrunches, brows pulling neatly together. “You were just pretending?”

Chloe shakes her head, amusement lacing her tone. “No, I wasn’t. But I know you were, so thank you. That was really nice of you.”

“Oh, no,” Beca tries, head shaking quickly. “I wasn’t pretending.”

“You weren’t?”

“No. No, I love poetry.”

Why she continues to lie, she has no idea. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to admit that Chloe is right, and that Beca’s only motivation in piping up was to make it seem like she has something in common with Chloe Beale.

In response, Beca is met with a bright, excited smile. “That’s awesome! Who’s your favorite poet?”

“Oh, uh…” Beca coughs quietly, cheeks flushing pink. “Um, I don’t—I don’t really read it. I just write it.”

“You write poetry?” Chloe asks, excitement coloring her features. She rocks slightly on her heels as she speaks, and Beca wonders just how Chloe manages so easily to maintain eye contact. “That’s even cooler. You totes have to let me read some sometime.”

“Oh, yeah,” Beca nods, a slight tremor to her voice. “Yeah, for sure.”

“Awes.”

***

The sheer patheticness of the fact that Beca floats throughout the rest of the school day, all because of a two minute conversation based wholly on a lie, is absolutely not lost on her, and when she arrives home to an empty house with nobody to question her about her much more chipper than usual mood, she finds herself very thankful.

Like usual, Beca’s first order of business—after raiding the refrigerator for whatever snack food she can find—is retreating to her attic bedroom and booting up her laptop. Only this time, where Beca would usually pull up her audio editing software, instead she goes to Google, where she types in the term: poetry for beginners.

No sooner has she begun to scroll through the first page of results does the FaceTime window pop up with an incoming call, and Beca mindlessly taps the option to answer.

“Hey,” she greets somewhat lazily, not bothering to actually look at the video window. “What’s up?”

“Um, what’s up is you and Chloe Beale in English class today,” Stacie says, a hint of teasing flooding her voice. “She ask you out?”

“Shut up,” Beca scoffs. “Like that would ever happen.”

“True,” Stacie shrugs, setting down her phone. She proceeds to casually go about her business in the kitchen Beca is so familiar with. “You wouldn’t still be alive if that’d happened.”

Beca cannot even argue with that.

“So, what’d she want?”

“Just to talk about poetry,” Beca says in as nonchalant a tone as possible.

“Right, yeah. ‘Cause you love poetry,” Stacie says sarcastically. Beca can practically hear the way her eyes roll. “What was that about?”

“I don’t know,” Beca murmurs, eyes scanning her selected poetry site. “I guess I just—”

She pauses abruptly, widened gaze flickering to the corner of the screen, where a brand new notification awaits.

Facebook: Chloe Beale are you gonna send me some of your poems?? :)

“Shit,” Beca half gasps, worry creasing her expression.

Stacie is nowhere near her phone, but it is clear she can hear the fear in Beca’s voice without even having to see it on her face. “What?”

“Dude, she wants me to send her some of my poetry!”

“You write poetry?”

“No!”

“Then why is she asking—”

“Because I told her I did!”

“Oh, God,” Stacie cackles, evident delight in her tone. Were Beca not so busy freaking out, she would make a sarcastic comment, but as it is, she simply continues to hyperventilate. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know,” Beca whines, head tipping back in dismay. “She’s messaging me right now, she wants me to send her something.” It is safe to say that Beca’s earlier mood, her sheer joy over something as simple as a conversation, has now dissipated, and all she feels is regret. “I don’t write poetry… What can I send her?”

“How should I know?” Stacie frowns, eventually picking up her phone. Beca’s eyes plead with Stacie’s image. “Roses are red, violets are blue… I wanna lose my virginity to you?”

“Dude!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Stacie chuckles, eventually schooling her expression into something more serious. “I shouldn’t laugh. But you also shouldn’t have told her you were a poet or whatever… Can’t you just find something online?”

“No, what if she already knows it,” Beca responds quickly, having already considered the option herself, however fleetingly.

“Then I don’t know, dude,” Stacie shrugs, her expression a little more sympathetic this time. “Maybe you should just come clean to her.”

“That’s—” Beca scoffs. “No.”

Stacie thinks for a moment, before asking coolly, “You want me to fix this for you?”

“Yes!” Beca responds without missing a beat.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Whatever you have to do,” she pleads, desperation evident.

“Alrighty,” Stacie shrugs, elbows dropping to rest against the kitchen counter before her, while she holds her phone up in both hands.

Beca watches her curiously through the FaceTime view. “What are you—”

“Fixing it,” Stacie states, manicured thumbs tapping noisily at her screen. Moments later, she brings her gaze toward the camera. “There.”

Beca is about to ask what she did, though another notification appears in the corner of her screen, and her eyes naturally move toward it.

Facebook: Chloe Beale [attachment] you didn’t need an excuse to talk to me, silly!

“Oh, my God,” Beca shrieks, heart jumping uncomfortably into her throat. A shaky finger strokes over her trackpad, desperate to read the full notification. “Stacie, what the hell did you tell her?”

“The truth,” Stacie says with as much nonchalance as ever. It is a stark contrast to Beca’s utter panic—then again, the two are polar opposites, only further proving Beca’s theory that Stacie is only her friend because their mothers are as close as they are.

A part of Beca doesn’t even want to look, but her eyes soon draw toward the screenshot, a conversation between Stacie and Chloe:

Stacie Conrad as beca’s best friend, i can confirm she has literally never written a single poem in her life. she just wanted an excuse to talk to you. that and she didn’t want you to be the only nerd in class

“Dude!” Beca spits, the pitch of her voice rising at least four notches. “What kind of best friend does that!”

“Hey,” Stacie frowns. “It worked, didn’t it? She thinks you’re sweet.”

“What?”

Too fixated on her own humiliation, Beca had zoned out before reading Chloe’s reply. She stares at it now, though, eyes wide and heart racing rapidly.

Chloe Beale really? that’s actually so sweet 🥺

“She’s just saying that…” Beca says, though the panic has begun to ease from her voice as she rereads Chloe’s response.

“Doubtful. It’s Chloe Beale,” Stacie counters. “She’s, like, actually nice.”

Beca opens her mouth to retort, though pauses as she sees Chloe Beale is typing… across the bottom of their message window.

Chloe Beale since you’re not a poet, if you need any help with the homework assignment, just let me know. maybe we can get together and go through it :)

“Oh, my God…” Beca whispers, this time much more disbelieving than the last.

“What?” Stacie questions, genuine intrigue in her tone.

“She wants to hang out…”

“Really?”

Were the situation different, the utter level of surprise in Stacie’s voice would likely offend her, but all things considered, Beca supposes it makes sense.

“Yeah,” Beca murmurs, eyes scanning over the exchange again.

“Roses are red, violets are blue,” Stacie sing-songs, “I wanna lose my vir—”

“Dude!”

“Sorry!”

[thedreadvampy]

Something I find really interesting, and would quite like to hear American's opinions on, is the deeply engrained assumption in American pop culture that rigidly structured high school cliques are a natural fact of life.

my school in the UK had friend groups, sure - I hung out with the library gang and the art kids and the goth kids and there were girls who'd definitely sneer at me if I tried to sit next to them - but there's something very rigid, impermeable and above all hierarchical about the depiction and assumptions about American high school that I just don't recognise. Like my school had mean girls who liked makeup and hated school, but they weren't At The Top Of The Social Hierarchy as far as I could tell (in fact mostly they were seen as uhhhh chavvy? trashy?) they had power in that they weren't worried about being mean but they weren't glorified by people outside their friendship group, they just had friends who would back them up. and it's not like a different friend group/clique had that social power. the social politics of my school at least were a lot muddier than that. there was certainly bullying and social exclusion but it wasn't top-down in the way people talk about like. jocks and popular girls or whatever. the same people end up on the bottom but nobody's on top.

and the impermeability of this assumed clique structure is super weird to me. the like YOU CAN'T DO SPORTS YOU'RE A THEATRE KID or YOU CAN'T DATE HER SHE'S A GOTH AND YOURE A NERD or whatever teen movie nonsense.

and like obviously a lot of it is teen movie nonsense. it's obviously heightened for effect and narrative convenience. but both from the prevalence of the type and from the way Americans talk about their own high school experience it seems like it's resonating with the American high school reality in a way it absolutely does not resonate with mine. I read American non-fiction books about surviving highschool as a teenager and they might as well have been high fantasy for all the direct relevance they had to my experience.

If it is an actual thing in America, my guess it that a lot of it has to do with the position of competitive sports in school funding and with really external artificial constructs of popularity like prom/homecoming royalty. like British schools have proms and cheerleading and competitive sports but a lot of the culture around that is American exports. school dances as anything other than a basic disco and cheerleading as a concept only really entered the British cultural lexicon in the last few decades. schools do compete in sports but it's a lot less tied to funding than in the US and it's way, way less of a big deal. I mean we kind of knew about it when a kid in our school tried out for the Olympic track trials but like. only just. and as far as I can tell school spirit is really only a thing for very posh schools. where people do have school spirit it's much more organised on class lines and more likely to involve students getting in fights than like school v school formal competition (like our school had real mutual beef with the public (private, in American parlance) school down the road, but more in a sniping at each other and periodically boys beating each other up way than like a GO SCHOOL BEAT THEM AT A FOOTBALL way)

and to be wholly fair I had an atypical British school experience so I'm speaking from a limited perspective. I went to a small country secondary (about 1200 students) with a very class-diverse student population who were all from nearby small town and village communities and had largely gone to the same handful of small primary schools, and other than the public school and the Catholic school it was the only option for kids in the area. I don't know whether larger, more urban schools with more local competition have a more cliquey/competitive high school culture (I know my partners who went to school in London certainly experienced house parties that looked a lot more like the ones in TV and film).

Idk what was your high school experience like? Are cliques a thing? I've been obsessed with the veracity of American high school cliques since I was like 13 I need Data.

[imaginingsoftly]

Trouble - Travis Konecny

Type: enemies to friends, Y/N insert 

Requested: No

Warnings: none

A/N: I’m working on a new series, although it’s going incredibly slowly, so here’s a little something on Konecny until I can start getting parts of the series out!

This was officially the worst day of your life. As if getting screamed at by no less than 5 middle-aged women at work and then heading home to your roommate and her boyfriend fighting again wasn’t bad enough, now you were sitting in your least favorite person’s apartment covered in wine and trying not to cry. Nolan at least had the grace to look sorry for dumping two full glasses of wine all over your neck and shoulders, though at that point even the most enthusiastic of apologies wouldn’t have mattered. 

“Y/N, I..” you held up a hand. If you didn’t get out of the room in the next five seconds you were going to lose it in front of Nolan and everybody else. Madison, the friend that had dragged you into this disaster in the first place, tried to go after you, but Ivan held her back. You thought you heard him whisper to give you a minute, but he spoke too quietly to be sure. It would have been hard to hear over the roaring in your ears anyway.

The mirror in Travis’ bathroom only served to make you feel worse. The wine had soaked through your shirt, staining the white tank top to the point that you knew it wasn’t going to come out. The shirt was the least of your current issues, though. It was the state of your brand new bra that finally broke you. The white lace, so beautiful when you’d bought it the day before, was now stained a dark red. You clutched the bathroom counter, trying to relax even as tears began to leak out of your eyes. “Trouble?” A knock sounded at the door, and you hurriedly wiped at your face. Travis would laugh if he saw you crying over some spilled wine. Hell, he’d probably make some kind of comment about city girls and being high maintenance. “Trouble, you okay in there?”

You opened the door to a laughing Travis, though his face quickly changed when he saw the mascara pooling under your eyes. “Y/N?” His hands came up to cup your shoulders awkwardly as you broke down. If Travis was calling you by your first name rather than that stupid nickname he’d given you, then you must really look bad. “Oh, sweetheart.” Travis pulled you in tightly for a hug, ignoring your muffled protests about the wine you were still covered in. He smelled good, like laundry detergent and some kind of musky cologne, and you took a deep breath. The smell settled into your lungs and your breathing calmed slightly. 

“Come on.” Travis pulled back slightly. “Let’s get you a new shirt, yeah? Maybe see if we can get the stain out of that one.” You were fairly certain that wouldn’t happen, but he was being nice to you for once. You’d take that for as long as possible. 

His room was just about what you’d expected. He wasn’t dirty, per say, but it certainly wasn’t spotless. His suit from the game the night before was discarded on a chair, and workout clothes sat in a pile next to the hamper rather than in it. Travis stepped through a door you assumed led to a closet, returning seconds later with a t-shirt and some sweatpants. “It’s on your jeans a little bit too, so if you give me everything I can get it washed real quick before the stain really sets in.” He was being weirdly thoughtful and you wondered if there was a prank coming. “There’s makeup remover in the top drawer if you want to use it. My ex left it in the bathroom one time and I never got rid of it.” He held out the clothes with a small smile. You took them gratefully, mumbling out a thank you as you slid past him and into the bathroom he pointed at. 

There had to be some kind of a trick involved. Your brain was going a million miles a minute trying to comprehend why Travis was suddenly being nice to you, and why he’d offered you clothes so easily. He was never this nice to you. To the guys, sure, and to others, but never to you. Still, clothes were clothes and he was offering to get rid of the stains. You’d take whatever you could get. Plus, you thought as you slid into the sweatpants, they were super comfy and they smelled like Travis. As weird as it was, the smell was comforting. 

A swipe of the makeup remover across your eyes removed the last of your makeup, and then you felt almost like yourself again. Well, other than the fact that you’d apparently entered an alternate universe where Travis didn’t hate you. Travis was waiting on the bed when you exited the bathroom, swimming in his clothes. He smiled softly at the sight, and your stomach twisted slightly. That look was new. He wasn’t supposed to be looking at you in a nice way, so what the hell was going on? “Uh, Travis, you good?” Travis jerked when you spoke, literally shaking his head to focus again. It almost brought a laugh out of you. 

He took your clothes before you could protest and began backing towards the hallway. “So, uh, I’ll go put some stainstick on these and throw them in the washer. Everybody else is filtering out, and, uh, we can get you home once your clothes are clean?” Travis nodded to himself and took off, leaving you standing in the middle of his room confused. Why in the hell was the cockiest person on the planet nervous around you all of a sudden?

Madison poked her head in as you remained frozen in the same spot. She smirked when she saw the clothes you were wearing, and jerked her chin at you. “You good here with Trav? Ivan suddenly wants to get home really really badly.” She winked conspiratorially, and you laughed. 

“Go ahead. Have fun with your boy. I’ll be fine.” Madison giggled, and then she was gone. You began to step towards the door, tired of standing awkwardly in Travis’ room. The sound filtering down the hallway was noticeably quieter than it had been ten minutes before, and you weren’t shocked to see Nolan was the only person besides Travis still remaining in the apartment. 

Nolan stepped in your direction with bright red cheeks and a sheepish expression. “Shit, Y/N, I’m sorry.” You shook your head as if to say don’t worry about it, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “So, I’m gonna go, but I just wanted you to know that I didn’t mean to. And if your shirt is ruined I’ll get you a new one, I promise.”

You chuckled, pulling the taller man in for a hug. “It’s okay, Nols. I know it was an accident.” He mumbled another apology into the top of your head. “I just had a really shitty day, and for whatever reason that’s what broke me.” Nolan made a sympathetic noise and ruffled your hair. Travis appeared from the kitchen to bro hug Nolan, and then it was just the two of you. You looked down at your feet, rocking onto your tiptoes awkwardly. There were no more buffers. It was just you and this newly friendly Travis. 

“So,” Travis said, “a really shitty day?” Footsteps came closer as you continued looking down at your feet, and then Travis’ sock-covered toes appeared in your view. “I promise I just wanna hear about it. No funny business.” 

His face looked serious when you finally looked up. It was the concern in his eyes that had you opening your mouth. “I co-own a coffee shop with my cousin. I think Madison has mentioned it before?” Travis nodded in recognition, and you continued. “I normally don’t do a whole bunch behind the counter, because I don’t have the disposition to deal with assholes. I’m more of a numbers person, and she’s the customer service queen. She was out sick today, so I had to work behind the counter. We had a PTA group come in for one of their cliquey gossip sessions today, and apparently I am completely incompetent and can’t make a cup of coffee worth a damn.” Travis winced accordingly. 

“And then,” you continued, all warmed up and ready to rant, “I finally get home after working from about 4am to 8pm, and my roommate and her fucking boyfriend were screaming at each other. Again. That’ll be about the fourth fucking time they’ve broken up this month. It’s only the 20th.” He was a cheating piece of shit, but your roommate didn’t want to see that. It was frustrating to no end.

“I called Madison to see if I could stay with her for the night, since my roommate and her boyfriend will probably be fucking all night, and instead she drags me here, where I get to deal with some hotshot hockey player that hates my fucking guts, and then Nolan dumps half a fucking bottle of wine on me and all of a sudden you’re being nice and I just really need a hug.” 

You were wound up, breathing a little heavily, and Travis looked shell-shocked. Suddenly he stepped closer, and for the second time that night you were wrapped up in Travis’ arms. “I don’t hate you.” He squeezed you a little tighter as he spoke, as if to emphasize his words. “You do intimidate the hell out of me though.” You leaned your forehead against his chest contentedly, chuckling a little bit. “Seriously. You’re all smart and sexy and you own a fucking business. I’ve always just wanted to be your friend, but you never got along with me like you did the other guys.”

His arms loosened slightly as you jerked back. “I never hated you. I thought you hated me.” Travis laughed, shaking his head in slight confusion. “So we could’ve been friends all along, we just thought the other person hated us?” You felt a smile creep up your face. Of course this would happen to you. 

Travis held out a hand. “Friends?”

You laughed, gripping his hand with one of your own. “Friends.”

[inkedstarlight]

I Put A Spell On You

Summary: Nesta and Cassian hated each other. Ever since freshman year of college, he'd been nothing but a pain in her ass. Their conversations always ended in screaming matches, and they couldn't agree on a single thing. So why was Nesta so angry to see him with another girl at a Halloween party one night? Cassian quickly picks up on her jealousy and teases her about it, only further infuriating Nesta. Sexual tension, unresolved feelings, and an intense game of truth or dare ensue. Warnings: explicit language, NSFW Read it here on AO3

Lana Del Ray’s “Season of the Witch” was playing quietly in the background as Nesta put on the finishing touches of her makeup. Tossing the mascara on the counter, she took a step back to assess herself in the mirror.

Her lips were a deep red, so dark it was almost black. A golden crescent moon was painted on her forehead, her daring brows arched on each side. Stormy grey eyes were heavily lined with midnight kohl, streaks of black running down her cheeks as if she’d just dragged her acrylic nails down her face. It looked like dripping blood. A golden arm cuff in the figure of a snake curved its way around her bicep, and it was quite possibly Nesta’s favorite part of the entire costume.

And her dress? Her dress was the most elegant thing she’d ever worn. Nesta didn’t even know how to describe it, the layered fabric falling down to the floor, the sleeves black and sheer. All she knew was she felt fucking powerful.

She smirked devilishly at the reflection staring back at her. It was like looking at Hecate herself.

To put it blatantly, Nesta was a whore for Halloween. She loved everything about spooky season: witches, full moons, candy, costumes, horror movies. The frightening, dark atmosphere that ensconced her throughout the entire month of October. Not to mention it was the one of the few holidays that didn’t revolve around family-oriented activities. Needless to say, Nesta was in her element.

Emerie peered her head into the bathroom where Nesta was getting ready. Her smile was wicked as she took in Nesta. “You just took fashionably late to the next level.”

Nesta laughed at her friend’s reaction. “You’re one to talk.”

Emerie was wearing a silky, burgundy robe. It was untied, leaving her tiny black slip in full view. The delicate fabric fell just inches below her waist, and she stood impossibly straight in glittery stilettos. To top it all off, bunny ears protruded from her waves of dark hair. She was a Playboy Bunny, and she looked fucking fantastic.

“How late are we?”

Emerie checked her phone. “About an hour.”

Nesta shrugged and shot her a wink. “It’s always fun to make a bit of an entrance.”

Nesta and Emerie had been close friends since freshman year. Nesta’s roommate was seldom in their room, and Emerie’s roommate was always bringing hookups to her respective room. So, when the two became aware of each other’s unfortunate (albeit convenient) situations, Emerie began staying over at Nesta’s. She would sleep over several nights a week, and it eventually became her room too. It worked perfectly.

Now, as upperclassmen, the duo lived in on-campus apartments. Just them and Minx. AKA the tiny but fierce black cat they rescued just a year prior.

“Guess who I heard is coming?”

Nesta dropped what she was doing to look at her friend. She knew that tone. That tone was always followed by a sinking feeling of dread in her stomach.

She threw Emerie a look. “I swear to the gods if you say Cass –”

“It’s Cassian!” Emerie sang smugly, jazz hands and all.

Nesta groaned. Cassian Bechalot was the bane of her existence. He was a senior, Nesta a junior, and he’d been a pain in her ass from day one. The first day of classes in her freshman year, Nesta had been sitting in her biology lab waiting for the class to begin. Ten minutes after class started, Cassian rushed through the doors in a dramatic entrance. To Nesta’s dismay, he sat next to her. The professor then proceeded to review the syllabus, mentioning the fact that they will be assigned semester-long lab partners. By “assigned,” she meant the person sitting next to you. Nesta had barely held back her groan when Casssian smirked at her and said, “I have a feeling this is going to be my favorite class.” For the next four months, he made Nesta hate biology. Purely because she now associated it with him. Cassian made it his personal mission to annoy the living hell out of her.

Skip to sophomore year. Cassian was adamant on sitting next to her in a lecture they were both enrolled in. Nesta was minding her damn business when he’d looked over her shoulder to catch her reading fanfiction on her laptop. And of course, it wasn’t some innocent story. No, with Nesta’s luck, it had been a smutty-ass fic that was basically porn without a plot. Cassian was unable to contain his laughter, the immature child he was. The professor stopped midsentence to narrow her eyes at his disruption. Nesta remembered it clear as day.

“Is there something you’d like to say, Mr. Bechalot? Since it’s clearly a matter important enough to interrupt my class.”

“Oh, I’d love to,” Cassian had grinned. He nodded his head at Nesta, the latter of whom was red in the face from both embarrassment and anger. “But I don’t think the Mrs. would be very happy with me.”

The class had whopped, some applauding Cassian’s antics.

“Enlighten me.”

He’d shrugged given Nesta a look that said, There’s nothing I can do to stop what’s about to happen.

What a fucking liar.

“Nesta was just getting in her daily dose of fanfiction. It happened to be a particularly…” Cassian paused. The bastard paused for dramatic effect. “… risqué.”

And queue the laughter.

So that was one of many reasons Nesta couldn’t stand him. After that fiasco, countless others followed. Some fiascos were of Nesta’s doing.

What? Nesta couldn’t let him win every time. She had a couple tricks up her sleeve, too. And it’s not like she was going to let him off the hook without facing the consequences.

Emerie was convinced it was some sort of star-crossed lovers shit. She dubbed them an “enemies-to-lovers” slow burn. She was the biggest (and only) advocate for a romantic relationship to blossom between them.

But Nesta? Nesta saw it for what it was.

Pure, unadulterated hatred.

And now he was crashing the party Nesta had been looking forward to all week.

The party was at their friend’s off-campus apartment. There were going to be a lot of people there, but Nesta had seriously doubted he would be invited. At Pryth U, there was an obnoxious division between athletes and the rest of the undergraduates. Nesta loathed the cliquey dynamic. But while the athletes certainly had a reputation, she had many friends who were on the college teams. It was really only the men’s lacrosse team that lived up to their reputation, and Cassian just so happened to be the captain. Who’s surprised?

Cassian had a way of getting in her head, of fueling her already hotheaded temper. Their interactions typically ended in a screaming match. He would tell her to loosen up, and Nesta would tell him to fuck off. He’d make some raunchy joke of it, and she would go off on him. They’d have a staring contest for a couple minutes before continuing to yell obscenities at each other.

Yeah… it wasn’t pretty.

But Nesta was determined to not let it bother her. Tonight was going to be great, Cassian or not.

“Is you-know-who going to be there?” Nesta turned the conversation around, stealing a glance at her roommate.

She scowled. “I don’t know. Even if she was, she doesn’t know my fucking name.”

“You don’t know that,” Nesta countered.

Emerie gave her a pointed look.

Nesta sighed. “Okay, so she doesn’t know your name. Doesn’t mean you can’t introduce yourself tonight.”

Emerie mumbled an incoherent response.

She’d had a crush on a girl named Mor for several months now. Mor had recently transferred from a different university, and she was a fellow junior. Emerie first saw her when she was working one day at the on-campus Starbucks. Whenever Mor came in for a drink, Emerie was sure to be the one to get her order. And she always made Mor’s drink (a medium mocha latte). It was quite adorable when Emerie came home from work to gush about how Mor’s hair was particularly beautiful that day. Adorable and obnoxiously frustrating.

Nesta wasn’t big on love. Sure, her guilty pleasure included romance novels and smutty fanfiction, but that was fiction. In her own life, she hated romantic gestures, declarations of love, and physical affection. She’d never been the type to have crushes or pursue a potential suitor. After watching her parent’s marriage crumble right before her eyes, Nesta didn’t put much thought into romantic relationships. To her, it was work. It took too much effort and from what she’d seen, the outcome was never worth it.

Sometimes, Nesta wasn’t sure if she knew how to love. Sure, she loved her sisters, but that was the extent of it (with the exception of Amren and Emerie). The thought terrified her just as much as it empowered her.

There were rare moments when Nesta would see Amren and Varian laughing together and something in her would ache. For what, she wasn’t sure. Affection, love, trust, acceptance, peace, comfort. All of the above.

“Okay, are we ready to go?” Emerie called to back to Nesta, shaking her from her thoughts. She took one last glance in the mirror before turning the light off.

“Let’s do it.”

The apartment was decorated perfectly. The lights were dim, the atmosphere enticing. Nesta was impressed but not at all surprised at Amren’s immaculate skills as an interior design major. They were friends from high school, and they’d remained thick as thieves since.

The place wasn’t huge, but it had enough space for dancing and drinking and that’s all that mattered. There were probably twenty people in there. The music was dark and thrilling, the bass reverberating in Nesta’s chest as she maneuvered her way through the bodies in the basement.

She recognized most of the people here, only a few unfamiliar faces in the crowd. Amren’s boyfriend, Varian, was in a mermaid costume as he walked around offering people drinks. He caught Nesta’s eye and shot her a grin, his hands gesturing to the coconut shell bra on his chest. She shook her head and chuckled before swiping… candy corn Jell-O shots?

With a grimace, Nesta tilted her head back and swallowed the damn thing.

It was disgusting.

“Nesta!” a familiar voice yelled from behind her. She didn’t even need to look to know who it was.

Rhysand approached her, his strut a little less smooth than normal thanks to the many drinks he must’ve had. But when she saw him, she could barely stop herself from laughing out loud.

He was dressed as an angel. Rhysand fucking Elvert was an angel.

 I’m not drunk enough for this.

He wore a white toga, his tanned chest bare for all the women and men to drool over. Cheap translucent wings protruded from his back, and a golden halo in the form of a headband hung over his head. He was giving her a cheeky smile as he stopped in front of her.

“Nesta, my best friend!” Well, that confirmed his inebriated state. “How are you? More importantly, where’s that sister of yours?”

Nesta rolled her eyes. She should have known he was going to ask about Feyre.

Her younger sister had visited Nesta several times since she started Pryth U a couple years back. They had the unfortunate luck of encountering Rhysand while Nesta was showing Feyre around campus. And of course, as Rhysand does with every living, breathing woman, he tried to woo her with his fuckboy ways. Feyre held her own, but that changed when Nesta brought her to a small dorm party later that night. When Nesta was returning from the bathroom, she found them dancing. Well, dancing was putting it nicely. There was a lot of hip movement to say the least.

After ripping them apart, Nesta threatened Rhys that if he got near her sister again, he was a dead man. Feyre, thoroughly embarrassed, had no other choice but to follow Nesta back to her dormitory. Once in her room, Nesta chastised Feyre for “fraternizing with the enemy.” Nesta had told Feyre stories about Cassian before, so she was up to date on that situation. Feyre didn’t seem to care, claiming that she didn’t even think Rhysand was that attractive.

And though Nesta knew that was a flat-out lie, she let it go.

So, when Feyre visited a semester later, Nesta was careful not to mention her visit to anyone, especially not Rhys. They weren’t friends per se, but her rivalry with Cassian made Rhysand a fixture in her life (one that she never asked for). They would chat during class or in passing, and their relationship was lighthearted. Nothing like the tension between her and Cassian. After the first time Feyre had visited, Rhysand always managed to find a way to bring her up in conversation.

But to Nesta’s dismay, Rhysand had miraculously found out about her visit. Ignoring Nesta’s threat, Rhys shamelessly tried to pursue Feyre for the second time. Even though Nesta was careful not to mention her visit, Rhysand had miraculously found out and pursued her. That time, he blatantly flirted with her right in front of Nesta. But it was more than flirting. Nesta could tell that Rhysand was acting differently than when he flirted with other girls. Nesta had been around him long enough to watch him flirt and seduce many women, and it was different with Feyre. This behavior continued every time Feyre visited, which was just five instances. Yet Rhysand seemed strangely attached to Feyre. Nesta never asked him about it… Gods forbid Rhysand Elvert becomes her brother-in-law.

“She’s great,” Nesta said truthfully. “Just started dating a new guy.”

His face fell for a fraction of a second, so quickly that Nesta could have imagined it. “Does he treat her well?”

“I’ve never met him, but from what she’s told me, yes.”

He seemed to consider this before merely nodding in response.

“Where’s that annoying friend of yours?” Nesta changed the subject.

Why do you care? Nesta could practically hear Emerie’s voice in her head. She ignored it.

“Cassian? That bastard’s somewhere in here.” Rhysand chuckled before he suddenly got excited. “Oh! You’ll never guess what he dressed as.”

Nesta gave him an unamused look. “Let me take a wild guess: the devil.”

Rhysand’s shoulders dropped and he pouted. “You take the fun out of everything.”

“Or perhaps you’re more predictable than you think.”

“Bet you can’t guess what Azriel is.”

Nesta didn’t even have to think twice. “Azriel dressed as Sherlock Holmes because he has a shred of self-respect. As opposed to you two buffoons.”

And because he told me a week ago, Nesta thought to herself.

Rhysand opened his mouth to retort, but he was quickly interrupted.

“Did someone say Cassian Bechalot?”

Nesta’s fists balled tightly at the mere sound of his voice. She plastered on a sickly-sweet smile and turned to face Cassian.

She did her best not waver at the sight of him. Even Nesta couldn't deny that Cassian was an objectively attractive man. She would never admit it, though.

His long hair was disheveled as always, a couple loose strands framing his annoyingly sharp jaw. He wore a deep red dress shirt, and the fabric looked soft as satin. Several buttons were popped to show off a broad chest and his signature golden chain. The sleeves were rolled up to reveal his inked forearms, the collar popped to show off the thick columns of his neck. And of course, red horns stuck out from the obnoxiously inflated head of his.

But what Nesta wasn’t expecting was the woman on his arm. She looked to be about their age, maybe a year younger. She too wore a devil costume but this time it was a small red dress and a face full of beautiful makeup.

Nesta’s fists tightened even more.

Cassian stopped a couple feet in front of her, his eyes slowly dragging up and down her body. Nesta crossed her arms impatiently until his piercing gaze finally met hers.

“So glad I ran into you, sweetheart," he purred at her. Gods, him and that insufferable nickname. She could choke him. "What do you think of my costume?"

“It suits you,” Nesta replied sarcastically. Then she added, “You guys make quite the couple.”

Cassian frowned, but Nesta paid no mind to him.

“Oh, we didn’t even come here together!” piped in the woman. She gave Cassian a seductive look. “But I certainly hope we’ll be going home together.”

Nesta didn’t bother to hide her distaste. It wasn’t directed toward the friendly woman, rather at the bastard at her side. The obnoxiously sexy bastard.

“Let me guess…” Cassian tapped a finger on his chin thoughtfully. Nesta made a show of rolling her eyes. “Hecate?”

 What?

She hadn't expected that.

Nesta did her best to contain her surprise. “You know who Hecate is?”

“Ouch, you didn’t have to say it like that. You wound me, sweetheart.”

She raised a threatening brow. He chuckled deeply and raised his hands in surrender.

"Maybe I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

Nesta snorted. “That’s highly unlikely."

He tilted his head to the side, peering closer at her. “You’re particularly feisty today, aren’t you?”

“I swear to the gods, Cassian, I will rip your head off.”

All he did was laugh her off. If he only knew how serious she was...

Nesta was just about to walk away when Cassian turned to the woman at his side. “Arlia, can you leave us alone for a second?” he grinned mischievously. “I’ll find you after.”

Arlia giggled and nodded, dragging a finger down his arm as she walked away. Leaving Cassian and Nesta alone.

 Great.

Cassian didn't waste a second, closing the distance between them. He loomed several inches above her, something Nesta detested about him. He was large, tall, purely male. Nesta got a whiff of his scent, and she hated how much she loved the smell of him. He always wore the same cologne, not enough to overwhelm but enough to leave Nesta wanting more.

Ugh. He truly was the devil incarnate.

“Is that jealousy I sense?” Cassian clicked his tongue, humor flashing in his hazel eyes.

Nesta choked at his words. "As if."

It was a weak comeback, and she knew it.

He got even closer, their bodies just inches apart now. “Why do you even care who I spend my time with, Nesta? You hate me on a good day.”

“Maybe,” Nesta countered, “that’s because you do nothing but make my life as miserable as possible.”

The temperature in the room seemed to increase several degrees as Nesta stared up at him in contempt. Something unreadable crossed his face as he raised a hand and caressed her cheek, the warmth of his fingers sending tingles to her feet.

“Why do you insist on pushing me away?" Cassian asked, searching her eyes. She was frozen, her throat constricted.

 Because you terrify me.

Nesta shoved that thought deep down before she could even comprehend it, as far as it could possibly go.

"Tell me," Cassian breathed, pushing for an answer. "Is it so hard to admit that maybe I'm not as bad as you want me to be?"

 Yes.

Nesta was nearly trembling, her mouth unable to form a single word. She could only stare up at him with wide eyes and parted lips as he pushed her limits.

"Is it so hard to admit that maybe, just maybe, you actually like me?"

 Enough.

Nesta snapped.

“Like you? Fuck that, Cassian! You walk around campus like you’re the most desirable man on earth,” Nesta fumed, just the sight of him enough to boil her blood. “You treat women like shit, you humiliate me at least once a month, and you’re only at Pryth U thanks to some athletic scholarship.”

Her voice had gotten louder and people were definitely watching them, but she didn’t give a shit.

Cassian’s eyes darkened at her words, and he got another step closer, forcing Nesta’s back against the cool edge of the table behind her. He rested both hands on each side of her body and caged her in. She didn’t dare back down, levelling his hard glare.

“Do you think I’m desirable, Nesta?” he asked menacingly, his voice low. Quiet enough for only her to hear and demanding enough to get an answer.

Nesta suddenly became hyperaware of Cassian’s body so close to hers. She could see his chest moving up and down, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. His bicep brushed against her arm sending a shot of electricity through her body.

Nesta didn’t know what to say. She could only stand there and watch as Cassian huffed out a humorless laugh after a couple moments passed.

“Do you know how hypocritical you are?” Cassian asked, pulling his body away from hers and leaving Nesta with a cold feeling. He raised his voice with frustration. “No one knows who Nesta Archeron is. No, they only know you by the ‘Ice Queen.’ You sit on your damn throne and look at everyone like they’re below you. What’s so great about you, Nesta, huh? Because I’ve known you for years and still haven’t been able to find a single redeeming quality.”

He practically yelled the last sentence. She wanted to cry, throw something at him, walk away, scream until she lost her voice. But she didn't do anything. Nesta just stared at him as everything in her shut down until she just... stopped. Numbness overtook her.

Cassian was watching her, his chest heaving. Something like regret flashed over his face.

Nesta blinked, shattering the little world her and Cassian were in, looking past him and into the adjoining room.

Everyone was staring at them with wide eyes and open mouths. The entire apartment was silent, and it was painfully clear that every single person had just heard them fight.

 Just my fucking luck.

Nesta didn’t pay attention to anyone as she stormed off. As far away from him as possible.

She heard Varian tell everyone to mind their own business before blasting the music. The onlookers were happy to oblige and just like that, they were dancing without a care in the world.

Amren was leaning against the glass door that led to the outdoor patio when Nesta rushed outside for air. She heard her friend follow her from behind.

It was calmer out here, the loud bass of the music fading into the background. The moon was full, and that gave Nesta a small piece of solace.

She collapsed onto a plastic chair, her body sinking down. She didn't have to say a word as Amren held out a bottle of Tito's.

Nesta took it from her and didn’t even think as she took several gulps of the vodka. Her throat burned with every swallow, eyes watering. She took a final swig and gave it back to Amren, wiping her mouth and grimacing.

“So…” Amren started, glancing over at Nesta who was looking down at the ground. “Should we talk about what just happened in there?"

"No."

Amren got quiet and the two simply sat in silence. Nesta closed her eyes, relishing the cold breeze that washed over her face. She could smell the remnants of a bonfire from Amren's neighbors next door. After a few minutes, Amren straightened and held her hand out to Nesta.

“C’mon. We’re gonna dance.”

It wasn't a question. And Nesta wasn't about to say no and risk getting into an argument with Amren. Gods knew how taxing that would be. Anyway, the alcohol was already beginning to course through her blood. She would be on the dance floor in the next twenty minutes either way.

As Nesta took Amren's hand and retreated back inside, a feeling of euphoria began to enter her body. She happily invited it.

Nesta didn’t know how long they danced for. Long enough for her hair to stick to the back of her neck and her throat to be parched. Long enough for "Toxic" by Britney Spears to have played enough times and gotten stuck in her head.

But not long enough for her to forget about the events that took place just minutes prior to downing that vodka.

She signaled to Amren that she was going to get some water. Her friend only nodded her head and continued rolling her hips to the beat.

As Nesta poured herself a cup of water, she scanned the room. She scanned it until she found who she was looking for.

Nesta locked eyes with Cassian from across the room. She hadn't been thinking of him much as she and Amren danced to every song that played. He was on the outskirts of the dancing crowd. Him and Arlia. The song was loud, fast. And yet his hands were snug around Arlia’s waist, hers stroking his chest as they swayed slowly. Not an inch separated their bodies.

She couldn’t read the emotion in his eyes. His face was blank.

Nesta held his stare until he broke away.

To kiss Arlia.

And he didn’t just kiss her. It wasn’t an innocent peck. He pulled her into him, capturing her lips with his own. Nesta watched as Arlia gripped the collar of his shirt and molded her body into his, their hips grinding together.

Cassian opened his eyes even as he continued to kiss Arlia. He looked directly at Nesta as his mouth moved against another woman’s. Nesta fought the urge to go up to him and smack him across the gods-damn face.

She failed.

But before she could even take a step, someone grabbed her arm from behind. She looked behind her shoulder.

Amren.

“You don’t want to do that, Ness,” Amren told her with a hard tone.

“But – ”

“But nothing,” Amren interrupted Nesta, her words final. “How about we do something to take your mind off it?” She didn’t even wait for her answer before calling over her boyfriend. “Varian!”

Just like a loyal puppy, Varian appeared at her side in a second, the end of his mermaid tale dragging on the floor. “What’s up, love?”

“Nesta needs a good distraction,” she explained, gesturing not-so-subtly to where Cassian stood. “Thoughts?”

Varian’s eyes brightened and he didn’t even hesitate before miraculously yelling over the deafening music, “Truth or dare!”

Amren threw her hands up with a groan and gave him an exasperated look as if to say, Are we thirteen years old?

But it was too late. Everyone around them was already cheering and chanting Varian's name.

Nesta levelled a look at her best friend.

Amren raised her palms up. “Hey, it’ll keep you from strangling Cassian to death,” she pointed out the silver lining.

Nesta couldn’t argue with that, so she begrudgingly followed her friend to the couch. A big group of people followed them from behind.

Five minutes later, everyone was situated into a large circle. Some were sprawled on the furniture while others sat on the floor. All of them were happily drunk and way too enthusiastic to be playing truth or dare.

“Truth or dare?” Amren started, her question directed at Azriel who was sitting a couple people away from Nesta. He was dressed as Sherlock, just as he’d told her he would.

“Dare.”

Thus began an entertaining game of truth or dare. Azriel had to do a body shot off of Rhys. Rhys had to give Helion a lap dance. Helion was forced to let Lucien do his face makeup. Lucien had to take off Mor’s socks with his teeth. Mor had to make an obscene call to a random phone number. Emerie chose truth and was forced to reveal her wildest sex fantasy (a drunken Mor offered to make that dream a reality).

Halfway into the game, Nesta had shed herself of her gown, leaving her in only a small black dress she'd put on underneath in case she got warm. It was a combination of the body heat, alcohol, and tension between her and Cassian.

The entire game, Nesta did her best to avoid eye contact with Cassian. He was sitting directly across from her in the circle, Arlia at his side. Nesta was doing fine, enjoying their childish antics until it was Emerie’s turn to ask someone.

Nesta wasn’t completely surprised when her friend turned to her and asked, “Truth or dare?”

Nesta saw the mischievous look on Emerie’s face as she proposed the question. She had no fucking idea what she had planned, but there was no way Nesta was falling into her trap.

“Truth,” Nesta decided to play it safe.

But then Cassian had to open his fucking mouth.

“Boring,” he said loudly, faking a yawn.

Nesta turned her head to face him for the first time during the game. Her heart pounded at the sight of him. He was sitting on the edge of the sofa, holding his chin in his hands as he scrutinized her. His eyes were glossy, and he was clearly drunk like the rest of them.

“It’s in the name of the game.”

“Or maybe you’re just scared,” Cassian countered.

“I’m not,” Nesta gritted her teeth, staring him down.

Cassian merely raised a brow as if to say, Sure, you aren’t.

No one said anything.

“Fine,” Nesta snapped just to spite him. “Dare.”

Cassian smiled triumphantly and sat back as Emerie clapped with excitement.

"Give her a good one!" someone called out.

Emerie turned back to Nesta with a troubled look and mouthed, Forgive me.

Forgive her? What the fuck was she talking about –

“I dare you to kiss Cassian.”

Nesta stopped breathing.

The entire room was silent as everyone stared at Nesta, gauging her reaction. She felt Cassian's eyes on her.

Nesta broke the silence and burst out laughing, a snort leaving her nose. A very unattractive snort. “You think I’m going to kiss him?”

Others around the circle laughed nervously, unsure where this was going to go.

She looked across the circle to see Cassian staring at her. But where she was expecting a smug smile was a clenched jaw and burning eyes.

You’re not scared, huh? he mouthed at her silently. He was mocking her.

In your dreams, she snapped back.

Cassian crooked his finger to draw Nesta closer. "C'mere."

She snorted. Again. “If you want to do this dare, you’re the one coming to me.”

Only a couple feet separated them from opposite sides of the circle. It was petty, but she didn't care.

He looked at her incredulously. “Really, sweetheart?”

Nesta shrugged. Cassian narrowed his eyes in response.

“No.”

He was just as stubborn as her. A couple people around the circled groaned – they knew the beginning of a Nesta-Cassian stand-off when they saw one.

“Are you guys really fighting about who has to walk the five steps it takes to get to each other?” Emerie asked, astounded. Neither of them answered.

“Why don’t you meet in the middle of the circle?” Varian suggested meekly.

“No,” they both snapped at the same time, glaring at one another when they realized they said the same thing.

Another minute passed of them staring each other down.

Cassian was the first to speak again. “If you don’t come over here, you won’t finish the dare.”

Nesta gritted her teeth. He was right. She fucking hated when he was right.

 Just get it over with.

“Fine,” she seethed, standing up from the floor. She turned to Amren. “Give me another shot. I’m not drunk enough for this.”

The last thing Nesta wanted was the memory of kissing Cassian tomorrow morning. She shuddered at the thought.

“Make that two,” Cassian added.

Amren returned just a second later with a full shot glass in each hand. Neither Cassian nor Nesta hesitated as they downed the drink.

Nesta willed her legs to move, her stride confident despite the overwhelming feeling that she was going to fall thanks to her wobbly knees. Cassian’s feet were flat on the floor as he sat on the edge of the sofa. Nesta didn’t allow herself to falter for a second as she straddled Cassian and sat on his lap, their faces just inches away.

The crowd whooped and whistled. Nesta ignored it.

Nesta was already intoxicated by his scent, but she did her best to ignore it. Cassian gripped her hips to keep her balanced on him, his touch burning into her skin. She was eye-level with him, their faces inches away. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek, and chills went down her arms.

Something in Nesta ignited when Cassian subtly rubbed his thumb over her hip under the fabric of her dress. He seemed to sense the change in her, his nostrils flaring as he moved his thumb over her skin again, leaving a burning trail in its wake.

The world fell away. It was just them. Nesta’s lips involuntarily parted when Cassian’s other hand rested on her bare thigh. His fingers inched higher and higher, and Nesta opened her legs slightly wider. Cassian exhaled a harsh breath.

The spot between her legs was molten hot, her legs numb with pleasure. She slid her hand over his shoulder, and she traced the thick columns of his neck with her manicured nails. He tilted his head for her, and Nesta wanted nothing more than to lick and bite and suck his bare neck.

 What the fuck is he doing to me?

All of Nesta’s reservations fell away as she grinded her ass in his lap, unnoticeable to anyone watching, but enough to feel Cassian’s hardness slide under her core. His eyes flashed to hers. Nesta had never seen a man look at her the way he was.

Then, so fast that he didn’t even know what was happening, Nesta leaned in and pressed her lips against his. Cassian tried to deepen the kiss, but Nesta pulled away and was out of his lap before he could do anything to stop it.

She threw her hands up and threw a smirk over her shoulder at Cassian. “I did it!”

Everyone cheered, laughter filling the room as Nesta started walking back to her respective seat.

But she didn’t get far.

“Are fucking with me?” Cassian seethed from behind her. She turned around to face him.

His jaw was clenched with anger. His whole demeanor had changed, his presence threatening. Nesta watched as his fists clenched and unclenched, Cassian's telltale sign that he was not happy.

“Aw, were you expecting a date too?” Nesta cooed at him sarcastically.

 Point for Nesta.

People laughed, but Cassian boomed, "That's it," silencing everyone else. Including Nesta.

He walked straight toward her with purpose. Nesta gasped as he carefully but firmly grabbed her by the nape of the neck, his other hand splaying across the small of her back to bring their bodies together. Their lips brushed together, and Nesta's long golden hair provided a small curtain of privacy from the onlookers.

Cassian's breath smelled of whiskey, and it nearly consumed her. She looked up into his eyes and let out a breath of air. A growl released from his throat.

"Fuck it," he murmured before crushing his lips to hers.

Nesta's hand instinctively reached for him, her fingers curling in the soft tufts of his dark hair. Cassian moaned into her mouth, opening his lips and deepening the kiss. Nesta could barely stand, her tongue moving against his in a seductive, wet dance. She tasted the alcohol on him, and she became further drunk on him. Cassian curled his arm around her waist to hold her up, consequently pressing their bodies harder together. Nesta's nipples pebbled through the thin fabric of her dress as her breasts ground against his broad chest. He nibbled on her bottom lip, teasing her, driving her mad with need. She let out a whimper, and she felt Cassian's lips turn up in a satisfied smile as they continued to kiss roughly.

A loud cough had them pulling away from each other.

Nesta's cheeks turned bright red when she realized they were still standing in the middle of the circle, their friends looking up at them with horror and confusion and excitement and disbelief. She looked back at Cassian whose lips were swollen from their kisses. He didn't seem to care that there were people around them, his eyes locked solely on her.

"So... uh, I think it's Nesta's turn to ask," Rhysand said dumbly, staring up at her like she had two heads.

The last thing Nesta wanted to do was sit back down and play truth or dare. No, she wanted to drag Cassian upstairs and finish what they -

"No can do," Cassian said plainly, grabbing Nesta's hand and pulling her with him as he made his way to the stairs. "We have some unfinished business."

Well, at least Cassian was on the same page as her for the first time.

Nesta didn't even look behind her as she willingly followed Cassian up the stairs and into a more private room.

He opened the first door they passed by, revealing the guest bedroom. Nesta walked inside, and he closed and locked the door behind them.

Nesta's mind was racing. What did they just do? Why did she let him kiss her like that?

"Stop."

Nesta looked up from her hands to where Cassian stood. He had a determined look on his face.

"Stop what?"

"Overthinking this."

Gods, he saw right through her.

"We shouldn't have done that," Nesta said quietly.

"Why?" Cassian pushed.

"We hate each other." Why did it sound like she was trying to convince herself of that?

"Do we?"

The question hung in the air as neither one of them said anything. Nesta sat down on the edge of the bed and crossed her arms.

"Maybe not hate, but... we can't even stand each other," Nesta let out. She glanced over at him. "It's not like we have feelings for each other."

Cassian didn't say anything. She scoffed.

"You're telling me that you can honestly say you've thought of me in that sort of way?"

"Every fucking day, sweetheart."

Nesta's heart stopped. "I'm serious."

"Me too," he told her. His lips were set in a straight line, his eyes piercing into hers.

"Please, Cass," she said, using the nickname she so rarely used for him. "You fuck other women every week. You've despised me since day one. There's no way in hell."

"I don't hate you, Nesta," he said quietly. She watched as he walked over and took a seat in the rocking chair that faced her. He hesitated before continuing. "I hate how much I fucking think about you. I wake up and my first thought is, 'I wonder what Nesta's doing right now.' I go through my days hoping to run into you." He dragged his hands down his face and laughed at himself. "But you fucking infuriate me, woman. Our conversations are never pleasant. You're the most difficult person I've ever met."

 Oh Gods.

"And as for the women..." he sighed, shaking his head. "I can't believe I'm telling you this."

Nesta waited for him to continue.

Cassian raised his head from his hands and looked her straight in the eye. "I only fuck other women because I can't get you out of my damn head. Because I've never felt this passionate about anyone. Because you confuse the living hell out of me."

He had to be lying. It was Cassian. There was no way he cared for her. She'd seen him look at her all these years, and there had never once been an indicator of such feelings. And of course he was passionate about her: he hated her! Passion wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"What do you possibly think could happen between us?" she asked with an exasperated look. She didn't wait for him to answer. "The only time this," Nesta gestured between them, "could ever happen again is a year from now."

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "This," she moved her hand around. "Halloween. The one day you can pretend to be someone you're not."

"I don't understand what you're saying."

"You and I would never work, Cassian." The words cut through her as she choked them out.

"Why do you keep lying to yourself?" Cassian asked.

"I'm not! We know nothing about each other. We treat each other like shit. It would explode in our faces."

“We don't know anything about each other?" he echoed quietly, a small laugh leaving his lips. "How do you think I knew you were Hecate?"

Nesta didn't say anything. Where was he going with this?

"Maybe,” he started, “it’s because I’ve heard you mention her more times than I can count. Maybe I looked her up one day and read all about her. Maybe I think she's a fucking badass.

"You think we don't know anything about each other? Here are some things you don't know about me: I started that web comic you never shut up about. I finished it in a week, and I wrote down all my favorite parts in case we ever talk about it one day. You have a black cat named Minx, and you even have custom made socks with his picture on it. You want to study creative writing, but you're scared you won't make it as an author." He paused. "You try to hide everything inside, but I can tell how much you feel, Nesta. You aren't heartless, you aren't insensitive. You're just... scared. To trust."

Nesta hadn't told him any of that. Not directly, at least. But he listened. He'd always been listening. Her heart was pounding in her ears as Cassian finally met her gaze with soft eyes. She was terrified, but she held eye contact with him, refusing to look away. This man... he didn't hate her. He never had.

Nesta didn't realize tears were running down her face until her vision blurred and Cassian's face was out of focus.

Fuck. She hated crying, especially in front of people. Especially in front of him.

She dropped her face in her hands to hide her tears. She couldn't see what was happening but just a second later, she felt the bed sink down with another weight. Warm hands grasped her body, pulling her into a hard body. Cassian leaned down to brush his lips against her ear.

"Sweetheart," he whispered. Nesta didn't say anything. "Look at me."

His gentle voice melted something within her. She tried to inconspicuously wipe her tears before lifting her head up and meeting his gaze.

His lips turned up in a small smile, and he brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Cassian put two fingers under her chin and lifted her face up until their lips touched in the gentlest kiss she'd ever had.

This time, Nesta didn't hesitate as she kissed Cassian back.

------------------

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[phoebehalliwell]

Also i remember that you did an essay on nextgen relationship to witchcraft ??

i would like an mini essay on how each next gen tap to their other half (whitelighter and cupid) ?🥰

[this is where i’d put the link to the next gen’s relationship to witchcraft IF I COULD FIND IT] rip lmao but yeah!! bc basically everyone in the next gen is a halfling so i feel like there’s really like A Lot here like witchlighters are already just like hella rare and then pj parker and peyton are very possibly the first cupitches to exist ever y’know what i bet i can find? my mini essay on cupids & whitelighters yeah boi so i think the primary distinction between whitelighters and cupids comes down to like. head vs heart. and i know whitelighters are like innately good people who want to help others through good deeds blah blah blah but there is an inherent Logic to the process. whereas cupids are just a lot more fuck around/find out. it’s the same thing with orbing vs. beaming orbing you think of a place and you’re there beaming you feel a place. if pj and melinda were to swap bodies neither of them would be able to teleport. so i think the way that they were raised/trained also impacts that a lot so let’s go chronological order and start with wyatt

so, full disclaimer here, i am going off my own writings here as there are some blanks left in canon (i.e. who has what powers) also i made leo a whitelighter again bc like. a) i wanted to b) melinda’s a witchlighter which would be objectively fucking weird if leo was not a whitelighter ik the comics had this whole think about ~latent whitelighter dna~ but like girl what. and then also c) and i’ve talked about paige and motherhood before but i really don’t think paige wants to whitelighter for her kids bc she doesn’t want to be viewed as like,, as business associate to them bc that’s weird it’s one thing for your brother in law to be your whitelighter it’s a whole new can of worms for your mom to be your whitelighter. on top of that paige is still a charmed one and a witch so like. she definitely does not have the time to be the entire halliwell family’s whitelighter. but leo’s right there just give him healing and orbing hell he loves being a whitelighter just reinstate him. like come on. amirite lads? it doesn’t matter if i’m right or not this is my story and i’m sticking 2 it. okay let’s rock n roll

wyatt powers are projection, orbing, orb shield, healing, telekinesis, telekinetic orbing and he is a half split mother’s a witch father’s a whitelighter. i mean i think wyatt was really definitely as like The Witchlighter like at magic school all that like yes paige is a witchlighter but paige did not go to magic school and grow up around a bunch of little witches i think teleportation powers are Insanely Rare for anyone who’s not a halfling so the fact that wyatt can just. orb. he can heal. like this is Insane. but unlike a dency type situation where like these powers are so rare they basically have to be self taught i think there are a good amount of whitelighters at magic school who can teach him how to master his skills there’s also paige and leo so like. he’s pretty much covered. that and the whole whitelighter thing just really does come naturally to him like he was doing all this batshit crazy stuff from the womb like he healed piper from the brink of death at like age two. wyatt’s whitelighter powers are a fuckin breeze. i also think wyatt sort of id’s a little more as a whitelighter than a witch just bc chris is like so witchy wyatt feels like okay i must be more whitelighter by default. like chris will go out demon hunting and wyatt just like. doesn’t really want to do that so wyatt think’s it’s because he’s just more of a whitelighter more of a pacifist by nature. it’s not really it’s more just like chris is fuckin crazy but it doesn’t really matter. i also think that since wyatt is one of the only people with healing when the cousins are in trouble they almost always go to him, which only sort of adds to the Whitelighter element. i also don’t think wyatt has had any charges yet bc like. he’s really young he’s like 22. but i think he definitely will i think that’s something he would want to have. i think the elders also have some slight reservations about giving him charges bc like. very high probability he will fall in love with them.

chris powers are telekinesis, telekinetic orbing, orbing. does not feel very whitelighter at all. i mean for starters, wyatt’s totally Stacked with whitelighter powers that he just seemed to immediately have mastery over chris not so much. and it’s also like. everyone in the family Expected wyatt to have healing and then literally no one expected that of chris. like he tried he read about it all that and whenever he would try the sisters would just be like it’s okay hey you know not everyone has healing healing it’s big like not everyone can master it paige couldn’t heal til she was like 30 it’s nbd so chris is like yeah :| okay :| but it kind of bothers him how it’s like. his family just knew he wouldn’t be able to do that. and beyond that i think chris really does have this desire to prove himself in the craft to prove he’s a strong, talented, capable witch (which he is) and that’s really where he directs his focus. the power he hones the most it telekinesis. orbing and tlk orbing kinda of take a back seat simply bc they just aren’t as strong of combative powers (however, paige let him in on the insider secret that you can orb hearts of demons so that’s p fuckin cool. leo like Freaked out when paige told him this because he’s just a kid!! he doesn’t need to be hearing all of that!!! and paige is like yeah, just a kid who fights demons, leo. he’s seen worse and chris just looks at leo like yeah i mean i have and leo’s like cool gonna go have another parenting crisis). basically while chris knows he is a witchlighter he very much does not feel like one. he identifies as a witch. full stop. (side note he does not know he was the time traveller who came back to fix the timeline and if he found out and found out that he convincingly posed as a whitelighter and people actually believed him i think he’d lose it laughing)

melinda powers are empathy, orbing, telekinesis, telekinetic orbing. i think melinda views her Main Power as empathy, i think melinda considers herself to be more of a pacifist. again, this is kind of in relation to chris, so it’s like considering yourself to be short bc your brother’s 6′5″, but like. melinda is short. and she is more of a pacifist. i think given her empathy which is technically a whitelighter power tho it is much power likely she inherited the power from her aunt phoebe, she’s not really like. a fighter or a powerhouse or anything i think she also inherited piper’s want of a normal life. in my writings melinda is actually a nursing student i mean she’s a freshman in college but like. she wants to be like a nurse or a doctor she hasn’t entirely figured out how that would work with her like. Witch Schedule. but she kind of doesn’t care?? like she has a full family of charmed ones. they can save the day by magical means; she can save them by mortal ones. she also just like as a fun fact with her empathy powers can diagnose things really well because she can just like. feel what other people are feeling. so yes i think she’s really more whitelighter than witch i think if people ever saw her out and about with her whitelighter (i gave her a new whitelighter that isn’t leo in canon explanation is the elders are kind of worried the halliwells are getting a bit too cliquey little bit too much of a feedback loop there and they don’t really have the best relationship to the elders so like. now that one of them has kind of broken off into her own path they’re like okay can we give her a new whitelighter. just to kind of make sure they don’t all hate us. out of canon explanation i think it’s more fun for melinda to have a whitelighter her age instead of constantly dragging her dad to davis). i also think melinda is the most likely out of any of the next gen to receive a charge, but again, this is like, way out bc she’d like. 18. i also think she would keep her whitelighter on speed dial bc i think she’d be Super Nervous about fucking shit up like so bad for the first couple while. like eventually she’d get the hang of it and be confident and capable in herself and her abilities but for the first bit she’d be like. so so so anxious like s1 piper need to have everything be perfect when it most definitely is not.

tamora powers are molecular combustion, healing, invisibility, psychic link with kat. so. tamora’s technically like only 1/4 whitelighter as neither of her parents are whitelighters, her maternal grandfather is a whitelighter and that’s it. so that’s why both her and kat are a little less whitelightery that the rest of the next gen tamora can’t even orb. which was like genuinely a shock as literally every other witchlighter in the family can orb, but she just straight up cannot. she can heal, though, and is the only one beside wyatt with that capability, so her whitelighteryness is still there. she just can’t orb. and then while molecular combustion as a power obviously came from piper, healing, invisibility, and even her psychic link with her twin are all very whitelighter-y. (side note, it is specifically the whitelighter part of the twins that give them this link just like how all whitelighters are linked to their charges, them being twins just like. amplifies it. it also allows kat to always be able to orb tamora to her side and sometimes orb her other places without ever seeing her but that bit still doesn’t work that great. so while part of it is a Twin Thing, it’s also a whitelighter thing, which is why like warren and sheridan do not share a psychic link. note pt.2 the girls powers were bound when they were kids bc they had i mean like p dangerous powers at least tam did but as established by the fact that paige could always orb despite having her powers bound, their whitelighter abilities were always active. kat could always orb, tamora could always heal, their psychic abilities stayed active.) and like, because of this it’s the same though i’m just leaving the parenthesis before i forget, tamora for the longest time had no offensive power the only thing she could do was heal. she was also kind of like the coward to kat’s fearlessness or even just like henry’s popularity. she’s the shyest out any of her siblings, a lot more reserved, she has anxiety, blah blah blah. so she never felt very witchy. she had her whitelighter power and her cowardice. and kat was off running around having a wild time and henry was reading about the most terrifying demons known to man shit that have clawed their way out of the underbelly of the earth and tam’s just like. like no?? stop??? oh my god??? and then around age 14 when the girls entered high school they unbound their powers and started to train them and tamora just really only felt more uncomfortable in her own skin bc like. molecular combustion, man. and piper would teach her like how to use her powers like okay you just really really angry and you throw out your hands like BAM and she blows up a chair and turns to tamora with that cute lil grin on her face like okay now you try and tamora just feels so out of place man. like her aunt piper is this fuckin powerhouse and this power is like. it’s just too much for her like she always somehow felt like there was some cosmic swap some mistake in the grand design where she and kat got mixed up somehow and she should have freezing and kat who’s bold and fun and brave and strong should be able to blow things up. because this isn’t her. this is too much for her, it’s too loud it’s too. strong. that being said, she’s always had a knack for it, which she doesn’t realize bc like. it’s a very rare power. but she was able to gain mastery over it faster than piper did in her day. so piper knows it’s not a cosmic mix up. she knows this is the power tamora was meant to have, and some day she’ll grow into it. it’ll just take time. but yeah. witchcraft is not so much tamora’s speed she doesn’t like. necessarily identify more with her whitelighter half (or fourth but whatever) but she does just. like she likes those powers more she feels more comfortable with them. i think if she were to body swap with kat she’d be perfectly fine at orbing too. in regards to charges she is Also 18 so again long way out i think she would be open to the idea but it would necessarily be something she’d like really really Want to do i think like her whole dynamic with peyton would really be her jumping off point for whitelightering but if she got someone who was a lot more just like. into making bad decisions i don’t think tam has the backbone yet to tell them off. 

kat powers are molecular immobilization, orbing, omnilingualism, psychic link with kat. absolutely no on the whitelighter front. yeah she can orb and is omnilingual doesn’t even register those as whitelighter powers. considers herself a witch through and through. is not wise, is impulsive, is reckless, is a witch. would never take a charge. if she did, she’d go on all their adventures with them bc that’s just the type of person she is. doesn’t to the vague, gentle guiding of a whitelighter she is not vague. she is also very close with chris bc they have such similar ideologies. but yeah. she’s not a whitelighter.

pj powers are levitation, astral projection, beaming, sensing love we have exited whitelighter territory and entered cupid territory i think pj very much identifies as Cupid-Witch i think she is Thee hyphenate i think she wholeheartedly embraces both parts of her craft as the eldest of her charmed ones set she does feel the need to like Set a Good Example she measures out all her potions ingredients perfectly and mastered spell writing from an early age she treats the craft with respect. she doesn’t necessarily treat the cupid practice with respect that’s not quite the right word there’s no dignity it’s all fun. bc love is fun!! her and parker have a running betting pool on various relationships in school. melinda would sometimes put down money, now that peyton goes to school with them she’ll also place bets. henry jr also does this despite having zero magical abilities to sense anything he thinks that makes it more fun. but yeah. pj views herself as cupid. she loves giving relationships the little Push they need to blossom. people think it’s because she has an advice columnist for a mom and they like trust her bc like. she’s nice and her dad’s a relationship therapist her mom’s an advice columnist and almost everyone has at least one friend that pj has had a hand in their relationship so if she sets something up they’ll trust her. the school newspaper suggested that she actually start an advice column or a matchmaking thing but she turned it down bc like. she doesn’t do remote, y’know. her cupid powers are very personal, she needs to see it irl all the move parts before she makes a judgement call. but yes. very cupid. loves saying it, too. people are like wow you’re so good at relationships she’s like yeah i’m basically cupid lmao. parker boos every time she makes that joke.

parker powers are premonition, beaming, sensing love. so parker definitely considers herself a cupitch not just a witch but she doesn’t go as far pj just bc that’s not like her mo. pj does have a slightly higher eq than parker a bit more of a gentle touch they stay neck in neck in their betting pool because of parker’s premonition power however pj knows her sister can see the future and frequently engages to change the circumstances. parker does meddle as much as her sister. and like yeah parker is p witchy she does focus a lot on combat she did turn her cupid ring into an athame bc like. fuck yeah. but she isn’t like chris or kat where she’s like I Am A Witch Full Stop she really does see herself as a cupid she had yet to like. Set Up a relationship like pj does but she doesn’t consider herself any less cupid for that she is a cupid that is who she is. she’d just like. a tiny violent one. 

peyton powers are telekinesis, beaming, sensing love. again kind of like parker where she still very much identifies as half cupid she just doesn’t do mayn cupid things. i mean she’s also like 14 so like give it time but yeah pj was ten and putting couples together on the playground like it was wild. and it’s not like parker where she doesn’t have the eq to do it like parker just straight up doesn’t know what to say to steer to people together she’d just be like hey u to r in love with each other so. have at it. like baby peyton could probably get it right in the very subtle classic cupid manner she’s just too shy. like she could not imagine just walking up to someone and talking to them lmao. especially not about love. and since the girls aren’t full cupid they don’t have temporal manipulation they can’t move through time nor can they slow it down to speak to people’s subconscious but if she could that’s what peyton would do. bc she does love love in the very true cupid sense she just like. like talking to people?? aaaaaa amirite lads.

[all-pacas]

leonie’s supports/epilogues, ranked

SO. LEONIE.

leonie is interesting to me because she just… completely fails to stand out. i don’t mean in battle: she consistently is one of my best units, she is always shiningly competent, and you get the sense that that’s also true for her in context of the story: leonie is that person who is just pretty good at everything she does, who you never need to check up on or worry about. and the problem is that leonie also lacks any “quirks” or strong character  traits  besides her competence that she just… never stands out. like, i’d say that ingrid is probably her closest equivalent character: they’re both lance-using women who lean towards being fast cavalry/flying units, who tend to be fairly serious and work hard. but ingrid also has quirks — her huge appetite — and comes with built-in relationships in the extremely cliquey blue lions. leonie could serve as a niche in the extremely rambunctious golden deer by acting as a straight man, but she’s too easy going and of all people that usually tends to be claude.

all of which to say: i really like leonie in terms of design and usefulness both in and out of battle, but she is so easy to overlook in a game full of people with strong personalities and weird quirks. 

so, here’s all her supports/epilogues ranked by how good i think they are!

(note: i’m doing this from leonie’s perspective. so, maybe i think for example that lorenz’s ending with hilda is better — too bad! from leonie’s perspective, his might be her best ending, and that’s all i’m looking at.)

B SUPPORTS/NO EPILOGUES:

+ sylvain:

ughhhh, not a fan of the “womanizer fails to even see her as a woman and cheerfully admits it to her face” thing. like, we know he’s Problematic but that’s just mean. maybe an a support would have helped, but as it is it’s just Local Fuckboy Hates Women, ya know?

+ lysithea:

admittedly this is miles above sylvain’s. lysithea as usual puts her foot in her mouth when leonie helps her, and then apologizes in their b support; leonie isn’t offended and they admire one another’s work ethics. i’m mostly ranking it low because it’s entirely through lysithea’s POV and leonie doesn’t get any real feelings or expression in it.

+ catherine:

all 👏 leonie👏 wants 👏 is 👏 a 👏 mentor 👏!!! leonie latches herself onto the nearest mentor figure and catherine gives her some good advice. leonie shows a little insecurity here, wondering if she’ll ever stack up without a crest, and ends up pushing herself too hard to overcompensate. nice lil support.

+ marianne:

marianne does her usual over-the-top self deprecation, and leonie struggles to understand what’s happening, which ends up with both of them upset. in their B support, leonie apologizes and reaches out and they look at flowers together. i like this one! leonie is so put together most of the time, it’s nice to see her struggle and lose her temper a little, weirdly enough.

+ hilda:

this one is fun! unlike the claude support which i’ll get to later, leonie and hilda clash over fundamental philosophy/personality differences, leonie explains herself, hilda sort of comes around, and they end by agreeing to make one another friendship bracelets. hilda comes off well in this one, too, being both ridiculous and selfish, but then her “solution” being genuinely generous and sweet.

+ bernadetta:

REALLY CUTE ACTUALLY. bernadetta offers to mend leonie’s shirt and embroiders it with little hornets, and leonie’s straight-forward nature actually works really well against bernie’s ridiculous shyness in this case.

A SUPPORTS/EPILOGUES:

leonie solo:

leonie ends up leading jeralt’s mercenaries, which i actually really like for her. but she also becomes a notorious alcoholic with massive bar tabs across fódlan which. u okay girl?

leonie/raphael:

a lot of raphael’s supports are really wholesome, but this… is not my favorite. they bond about being obsessively hard workers and they both open up to one another about being straight up Poor Commoners (unlike ignatz, who is a rich kid, or dorothea, who is a famous singer). and then in their epilogue, alcoholic leonie ends up owing raphael’s inn so much money she moves in to work off her debts and ends up marrying him. like, can i buy that they’d happily run that inn together? yes! but i’m still ranking it really low because of the drinking thing.

leonie/ignatz:

hmmmmm. leonie is really supportive of ignatz and straight-up tells him he needs to become an artist, and in their epilogue she ends up traveling the world with artist ignatz as his bodyguard. there’s nothing wrong with this, but they don’t seem to have much interaction as people. it’s also not stated that their relationship becomes romantic, which is fine, but it ends up really feeling like their entire relationship is “leonie pushing ignatz to paint, and then being his bodyguard to help enable that,” you know?

leonie/claude:

this is a really nice support, but also kind of weird? the two have a lot of philosophical discussions about like, religion and trust and the wider world, and claude actually seems to speak honestly to her quite a bit — but all their conversations are couched in what-ifs, he comes off more as her mentor or teacher, not as a friend opening up about his own beliefs and feelings. they seem like the kind of friends who just stay up until 2 am accidentally debating philosophy, lol. so while i really enjoy their supports, they do have the downside of somehow not being at all personal or about them or how they like or dislike one another: it’s like they’re meeting for a weekly book club or something. (today’s topic: non-western religions!) their epilogue is also a little odd: leonie doesn’t become an alcoholic, which is nice, but just turns up years later in her village as the new queen of almyra. like, it’s a cute ending, but it feels like their entire relationship ends up developing off-screen, you know? so while i really enjoy their supports, i’m ranking it low because in all the others, it feels like leonie at least interacts with them as people and friends, not walking philosophy debates.

leonie/felix: 

in their epilogue, it’s not actually clear if they ever were romantically involved, but i am admittedly biased for them: not as a romance, but just in the way they genuinely seem to enjoy hanging out and being sparring partners. felix in particular, who can be a prickly asshole, tends to be pretty chill and friendly around her, and while i enjoy the CF/SS/VW endings of them just wandering together as mercenaries and street performers, i’m quite fond of their AM ending where felix ends up hiring her as his personal guard and they just hang out and work together. they just seem like they get along well and are good friends, you know? i like that kind of thing.

leonie/alois:

they bond over jeralt and alois is, as always, just a really great uncle/mentor type. him “giving” her his dreams, and inspiring her to be even greater in jeralt’s name is really cute… and their epilogue where leonie gets super mad at the way he scammed her into all his inherited debts and tracking him down (bonus points in CF, where she finds him “tanned and relaxing” on his family’s farm) is pretty wholesome. i feel like more than some of the others, this is the ending leonie herself would want, you know?

leonie/seteth:

what a WEIRD FUCKING PAIRING THIS IS. but, for all that seteth has a stick up his ass a lot, he and leonie genuinely seem to get along and have some nice banter about fishing and cooking. and, i really, really like that in their epilogue, the game is very firm on the point that leonie and seteth don’t actually get married until decades later, when it is not creepy, and after they have both lived fulfilling lives doing what they had hoped to. i actually… kind of like that? they both had other goals and then twenty, thirty years later retired together to fish and hunt in the mountains. that sort of… super romantic, super practical, but not at all clingy vibe is one i can really get behind.

leonie/shamir:

like the alois one, they bond over training and wanting to be mercenaries, and leonie seems really happy to be mentored by shamir (honestly, love how shamir comes off as so aloof and just can’t stop herself from taking in all these kids as students). in their epilogue, mercenary leonie is warned by shamir that her new client is Evil; they team up for justice and shamir joins leonie’s mercenary group and their skills become the stuff of legend. it’s just… wholesome, no weird alcoholism, and leonie gets to keep her mentor for once. also, strong bonus for shamir just cracking up laughing in their a-support, even if it is because leonie can’t draw.

leonie/lorenz:

first  of all, their support gets points for leonie spending about half of it bullying lorenz. i actually really like their dynamic, where she takes none of his shit at all, and lorenz is unhesitantly calling them friends in their C-support, but them also slowly coming to understand one another better: leonie seeing lorenz’s snobbishness as a manifestation of his seriousness, lorenz being Ridiculous as he tries to take care of her, and their A support just being mutual appreciation of one another. in their epilogue, they also get bonus points for lorenz throwing his father’s wishes away and straight up marrying a commoner, and for the note that all their friends thought it was both a good and inevitable match.

leonie/byleth:

i actually really like this one? as much as leonie’s weird crush on jeralt is… super weird in the start of the game, the support itself has a good progression from her feeling defensive and wanting to prove herself, to her and byleth genuinely bonding. it’s also one of the few supports that seems to happen even without you pursuing it, in that after jeralt dies leonie’s comments around the monastery switch from “we are rivals!” to “i will protect you for his sake,” so it really comes across like… yeah, they genuinely have bonded. in CF, the two of them form a special team just to fight TWS; in the other epilogues byleth is stuck with his duties but still likes to take breaks to go travel/fight with leonie, who basically refused to be queen and instead became captain of the royal guard. like, it’s just… pretty wholesome! i bet they’re happy together! not sure i’ll ever s-support them (bc why would i ever play as male byleth), but it’s real cute!

[belladonnabear]

Tomura Shigaraki X Reader: Love At First Sight

Scenario: The title speaks for itself. Tomura falls in love with you at first sight and wants you.  Sorry this is pretty OOC but November and December have been pretty rough so I wanted some fluff.

~~

Tomura couldn’t stop staring, his coffee could have spilled all over his lap and he wouldn’t have cared. He was staring at the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes on. Her soft (h/c) hair that was flowing from the fan, her bright (e/c) eyes that sparkled like a diamond and unlike his own skin, hers looked as soft as freshly clean bed sheets.

    She was in line waiting to order her coffee, a blissful smile was stretched on her face as she looked at the board for specials. Tomura felt his face begin to warm up and he had a slight urge to start scratching at his neck again. She looked like an angel, while he was a ghastly demon from the underworld. He’s never felt this way about any girl before and it was suddenly beginning to irritate him. Why was he feeling this way towards her? He’s never even had a conversation with her before. What was going on with him?

    He suddenly saw her up front and turned to the cashier. With a beaming smile you made your order.

“Can I please have a medium Mocha Coconut?” you asked.

However, the cashier looked down at her head to toe with a very intense gaze. He suddenly had a very cunning smirk on his face. 

“Sure, that’s going to be ¥400 and your phone number.” he winked.

    Tomura was starting to feel his irritation turn to rage at the cashier’s attempt to flirt with you. Why was this NPC trying to get with you? He’s not even in the same league as you. Tomura was starting to see red as you began to look uncomfortable at this man’s sudden request. You held out your card for him to take.

    “Um, no thank you.” you politely declined.

    “C’mon sweetcheeks, there ain’t no harm. Let me take you out sometime.” the man ignored the card and kept on trying to woo you.

    Tomura could feel his bloodlust rising at this prick’s insistence. He wanted to murder this man. No. That would be too kind. He wanted to rip off every limb from his body and leave him disabled for life. This disgusting scumbag didn’t deserve something as merciful as death. 

    “Please don’t call me that sir.” you shake your head.

    “Sir? I like it. You should call me that after I’m done with you.” he chuckled.

    Tomura stood up from his spot with feral eyes and ill-intent for the creepy cashier. He slammed some money on the counter top and looked at the man with a deadly gaze.

    “Give her the drink asshole. She’s not interested in you.” Tomura glared.

    The man looked intimidated by Tomura’s stare and quietly took the money while getting the young woman’s drink. The girl looked over at Tomura with admiration glistening in her eyes. Tomura suddenly felt bashful by her look and tried not to make direct eye contact with her. 

    “Thank you so much. You didn’t have to pay though, I can pay you back for the drink.” you offered.

“Don’t worry about it.” Tomura shrugged.

Internally, Tomura was jubilant about talking to the girl. She was looking at him with a very happy expression on her face. She received her drink from the creepy cashier and she turned to the man.

“If it’s not too much to ask, can I sit with you please?” she wondered.

Tomura felt his head spin from her request. She wanted to sit with him? Did she not notice the scars and dry skin on him? Or did she just not care? A part of him wanted to say no but one look at her hopeful express made him weak for her.

“Sure.” he nodded.

With a grin on her face, she sat herself at his table while Tomura glanced back at the  cashier from before. He looked at Tomura in envy that he was going to be sitting down with the girl he was creeping on earlier. Tomura shot him a wicked smirk which made the man flinch before Tomura sat down to talk to the girl.

“My name is (Y/N) by the way. Sorry I didn’t introduce myself sooner. But thank you for sticking up for me.” she introduced.

Tomura felt her name ring in his head repeatedly. (Y/N) became his new favorite word.

~~

Tomura and (Y/N) exchanged numbers and the two met up often to hang out together. He loved spending time with her. She was very supportive and understanding to him. Giving him advice when he was frustrated or confused. Even though he never mentioned he was part of the League of Villains, she still respected his need for privacy in his life. She never questioned what he did for a living or what he does in his spare time.

The two often went to movies together, arcades and she even bought him some clothes that would fit him better. It didn’t seem to matter what the two were doing, he was having fun and enjoying his time being around her. 

She also used her regeneration quirk on his skin so that the scratched marks on his neck could heal. Tomura found out that day that she was a nurse who wanted to help heal those who needed help. Which ultimately brought up the topic of heroes.

“To be honest...I’m not the biggest fan of heroes....” she admitted.

Tomura’s eyes widened at this declaration. The two were eating ramen together when you brought up the topic. He almost choked on his noodles as he heard her statement. She didn’t like heroes? Most people would never admit to not liking heroes. But you did the opposite of that. He was intrigued.

“What do you mean?” he wondered.

She scratched the back of her head awkwardly. “Most of them are very...cliquey. I went to UA for the Support Course so I could use my healing abilities to help others. But the hero students were always stuck up. They saw me and others as lesser because we weren’t as ‘strong’ as they were. That didn’t change after graduation either. I’ve healed plenty of heroes as a nurse and most of them are brash. They demand you do things a certain way, when in reality, they don’t have a clue about what they’re saying. Lots of them use each other for popularity and money. So they’re not as heroic as the public receives them. Speak out about them and you’re ostracized from society. I wish that could change.”

(Y/N) realized that Tomura was staring at her with a strange gaze and with a flustered face she waved her hands sporadically.

“I-I mean, if y-you l-like heroes that’s fine! I’ll respect your opinion on the matter!” she exclaimed.

Tomura felt his heart beat rapidly as he saw her cute face turn pink from embarrassment. That’s when he realized he wanted to be with her forever. She wasn’t only the perfect girl for him but also, she was his player two. The person who would be by his side forever while he would break society down. She would be his pillar of support and his wonderful girlfriend.

“It’s fine...I actually agree with a lot of what you said.” Tomura softly said.

She looked taken aback. Like she was surprised that he agreed with her. Tomura figured that she’s been harassed because of her opinions on heroes. But he admired her resilience and how she thought for herself. As far as Tomura was concerned, she was amazing.

“R-Really?” she stammered.

“You’re not the only one who hates heroes or how society perceives them. I know change will one day happen. And then, things will be better.” Tomura declared.

(Y/N) saw a fiery passion in Tomura’s eyes that made her blush heavier. She had always liked his determination and passion about the things he wanted. Like when he wanted to beat high score record for the House of the Dead arcade game. And seeing it here only made it more obvious to her that she was falling for him. He wasn’t perfect, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way.

She leaned over to Tomura and kissed his cheek. His eyes widened as he stared at her in amazement. Her soft lips on his face caught his breath as he felt her right next to him. He was blushing red as she pulled away. In a small smile she said. 

“I think I’m falling for you Tomura.”

~~

Tomura and (Y/N) had started dating for about two months now. She was his candle in the dark that kept everything bright for him. Even when he was miserable, she always found a way to make him feel better. He was growing more attached to her everyday. But he was also fearful that she would leave him if he told her the truth. He didn’t want her to think any less of him or even worse, leave him.

Her finding out about his position in the League of Villains was discovered in a way he never wanted it to happen. He left his phone on the counter after texting with (Y/N) a couple of times. Toga and Dabi were curious to know who their boss kept talking to. So Toga quickly snatched the phone and looked at the contact he was texting. When they both saw (Y/N) they were surprised.

“Oh wow! I didn’t know he was dating such a cutie!” Toga squealed.

“Hm, seems to me like she’s unaware that she’s dating a murderer.” Dabi observed as he looked through the messages.

“We could always tell her if Shigaraki’s too shy!” Toga encouraged.

A part of Dabi knew that revealing that Shigaraki was affiliated with the League of Villains might backfire on them. But he also knew the boss wasn’t too stupid to reveal anything too personal if it would effect the league. Plus, he did want to push the bastard’s buttons.

“Hurry! He could come back soon!” Toga reminded.

Dabi shrugged and called the contact known as (Y/N). She picked up pretty quickly and answered.

“Hi there Tomura! Is that one asshole with no manners bothering you again?” you greeted.

Dabi knew she was referring to him. Which made him want to do this even more.

“Hey there, this is the asshole with no manners. Are you aware that you’re dating the leader of the League of Villains?” Dabi wondered.

No sooner had those words came out of his mouth, Tomura slammed the door open. A vicious look was on his face as he looked at the two culprits who were toying around with his phone. Dabi figured he must have just heard what he had said to you. Because Shigaraki looked like he was about ready to kill these two again.

“What the hell do you two think you’re doing?!” Tomura questioned hotly.

Toga pumped her fist in the air. “We just wanted to get to know your girl boss! She looks super cute!”

“He’s what...?” you said in a perplexed tone.

“You heard me.” Dabi merely said.

Silence dreaded the air as they waited for either (Y/N) to say something or Shigaraki to lose his cool in a fit of rage. Meanwhile, Tomura was thinking simultaneously about how to kill these two idiots and how to play it off as a joke when he tries to cover himself. 

“Give the phone to Tomura please.” you requested.

Dabi casually handed the phone over to Shigaraki stating. “She wants to talk to you.”

Hesitantly, he took the phone carefully and answered. “Hello?”

“Tomura, are you really part of the League of Villains?” she wondered.

He could feel his heart beginning to sink. He didn’t want to admit it to you but he also couldn’t find it in himself to lie to you. He loved you too much to do that. You meant so much to him. He doesn’t want to lose you. 

“....I am.” he quietly said.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner Tomura? You know I care about you! I would have tried to support you! Are you guys doing okay over there?” you began rambling about how he should take care of himself.

Tomura however was stunned into silence. A slow smile began crawling on his face as he let out an elated laugh. She really was his Player Two. A wonderful, beautiful girl who cared and loved him more than anyone else has ever. He had no reason to worry about her finding out after all. She was loyal to him.

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to deceive you.” he chuckled.

Toga and Dabi were confused by the dastardly smile on his face. Dabi realized she probably was just as insane as him and realized this isn't fun anymore. He walked off shrugging his shoulders. 

“Do you guys have a healer there? I wouldn’t trust underground doctors if I were you!” you pointed out.

Tomura sheepishly smiled at his beloved’s concern. “Now, that you mention it, we really could use a healer.”

~~

It was past midnight as Tomura was in his room playing the Walking Dead when he paused the game to look at you. In his bed, you were sound asleep in your cute pajamas. It has been three months since you found out Tomura was the leader of the League of Villains. Since then, you had moved in with him to help him and his comrades. Today was quite an eventful day for you. Twice had accidentally dislocated his wrist, Toga had twisted her ankle and you helped Dabi with the burns from his quirk. 

Now you were resting after a hard day of work. Tomura could feel himself becoming drowsy from just looking at you. He really wanted to get under the blankets and cuddle you all to himself. So, he did just that. He shut off his game and got into bed and lay in right next to you. Even when you were asleep, you instinctively clutched onto him and nuzzled yourself into his chest. A tiny smile on your face as you slept in content. 

Tomura carefully pulled you closer to him and kept his arms wrapped around you carefully. You were still as beautiful as the day you two met. He placed soft kisses on your head as he too began to drift off. 

He’s loved you since the day you met and he’ll love you for much longer than that.

[flying-elliska]

Your post that you added with that other post about bisexuality and how having to feel like you need to lessen your attraction to men in order to fit some sort of thing made me feel some type of way lol. I’m ace. Or more specifically Grey-ace and while I feel like it makes me feel a part of the lgbtquia community, in general from the way some people are, i feel like I’m not. It kind of sucks honestly lol I definitely know it’s not like that throughout but I’m a girl who has only ever been interested in men but I realized that I don’t experience sexual attraction. Aesthetics are great but I have never looked at anyone (girl guy, non binary whatever) and thought I wanted to fuck them 😂 like my sex drive is basically zero usually with random spikes. So I know I’m in ace spectrum but seeing as how I’ve geared more towards dudes I feel like I’m not a part of it. And I’ve been asked before if I’m just secretly gay and I’m not gonna sit there to a total stranger (In person anyway ha) and be like hey I’ve had many a crisis about sexuality because I thought something was wrong with me, but the thought of sex with a girl is as appealing as having sex with a dude, to which I mean it’s not that appealing at all 🙃😂 I hate feeling like I need something to prove idk. Just felt like ranting lol

Ugh I feel you 😬😬😬 it's kind of nervewracking this perpetual feeling of "am I queer enough". Personally i absolutely believe that aces belong in the LGBTQ community and i find discourse about this stupid and exhausting. The core of the community is about having been marginalized for your gender/sexuality in some way and in this society where people think that sex is a fundamental need and there are so many norms around what kind of sex is normal, and you can get pathologized/harassed for not wanting any, aces absolutely fit that. I've for a long time felt some kind of kinship with the aro-ace community because while I do feel attraction occasionally, it's not something that happens very often. I didn't really date as a teen and my mother found this unacceptable (i had crushes but i very much hid it from her) ; she said a lot of horrible and invasive things to me whenever I tried to avoid the subject, that she never would have said if the issue had been my bisexuality (which I was unaware of at the time), because even progressive people can have massive blind spots when it comes to this. She also said incredibly nasty things about my aunt not having children, which kind of fits into this paradigm that romantic love/sex/children is what makes you human. And that's just as hurtful as (and part of) heteronormativity - it was actually something that affected me worse than being into girls on some level. Plus growing up I felt super alienated by having so many friends around me give such a central place to boys/men in their lives lmao and that ties into both of those things.

Ofc that doesn't mean that being ace is identical to being gay, that you can't be ace and perpetuate homophobia or sex negative/bigoted ideas, that you should talk over gay people or play oppression Olympics etc but honestly I don't think that's something that actually happens very much. I remember once at a queer cafe I went to, there was an ace guy who was just coming to terms with his sexuality and reached out to the community for the first time and he was so happy and relieved it was very sweet and we had a great conversation and that's just the energy we need, people feeling embraced with their differences and learning from each other and having conversations. Otherwise what's even the fucking point. Exclusionists don't want a community, they want to win a For the Queerest trophy they can parade online for clout in front of people who have the same shortsightedness and lack of compassion and it's so destructive. The bigger the LGBTQ community gets the more powerful we are in the face of bigotry ; it should be about solidarity not some elite club cliquey bullshit

Anyway I hope you find your way to being comfortable and happy with yourself ♠️⚪💜