#she's just constantly both preparing for betrayal

[xo-hoon]

an eye for an eye — p.sh

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: revenge, angst, smut, fluff

synopsis: Sunghoon nurtured a profound animosity towards his childhood friend, Lee Heeseung, blaming him for his sister's death. To Sunghoon, his sister was the only person who had genuinely loved him, making Heeseung's perceived betrayal unforgivable. This deep resentment sparked an intense desire for revenge, driving Sunghoon to extreme measures to achieve it. But to what extent would he go to find satisfaction in his vengeance against Lee Heeseung? Would his plans unfold smoothly, or would everything take an unexpected turn, throwing his schemes into something he didn’t expect.

word count: 4.2k

warnings: swearing, kidnapping (kinda), possessive hoon, mentions of death, fake marriage, depression, fist fighting, minor bleeding, hoon has detachment issues. (typographical errors)

an eye for an eye: last part - masterlist

Sunghoon woke up with the feeling of his wife’s figure laying on his chest. You really looked angelic while sleeping.

He couldn’t help but to stroke your cheek and feel the softness of your lips. He wished to see this sight every morning for the rest of his life. That way, even if it was cloudy outside, he’d always wake up with his own brand of sunshine. He wrapped you in his arms and basked in your warmth. He vowed to never let you slip away from him.

He would do everything to tie you to him forever. And for that to happen, he needed to take action.

He gave you a tender kiss on the forehead before getting up to take a shower and prepare himself for the day. Upon leaving the room, he went straight to the garden where he suspected his father was.

“Dad,” He called. From his newspaper, her father glanced up at him.

“Good morning, son. Sit down. Do you need anything?” Sunghoon sat down in front of him.

“I’m thinking of taking my wife on a belated honeymoon trip.”

His forehead creased. “Where are you planning on going?”

“Japan. I also wanted to visit Grandma and Grandpa.” They had never been close to him, but they knew your family. “I’d be grateful if your secretary could arrange everything for me and my wife.”

He folded the newspaper and placed it on the table. “Why does this seem sudden? What about the farm? I’m getting old, Sunghoon. I can’t manage everything anymore.”

“We have good people here, Dad. They are all hardworking and trustworthy. My manager could take over, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” His father fell silent for a moment, deep in thought over what he had just said. “Alright, I understand. When are you going back home?”

Sunghoon shrugged. “I don’t know. As long as possible?” His father’s lips twitched and his eyes filled with profound curiosity.

“Why do I feel like you’re planning to live there? Is there a problem, Sunghoon?”

Yes, there is. Sunghoon laughed. “Nothing, Dad. Anyway, we can’t stay there for long. I just wanted a little vacation with my wife.” He leaned back and looked at his father intently.

“Fine. But make sure to call here often. I’ll get my secretary to arrange everything. I’ll also have him come here to get both your passports.”

“Okay, Dad. Thank you.” He said and stood up after bidding farewell. Sunghoon breathed a sigh of relief. His father agreed. And hopefully, everything would go as smoothly as this.

—

You’ve noticed that your husband has been exceptionally busy these past few days. You already knew he was hard working, workaholic, even. But it’s quite different these days as if he’s constantly chasing after something. Today, he left with his father because they said they had someone to talk to.

You glanced at the oven timer, signaling that the cream cheese garlic bread you made is cooked. Once you checked and saw that they were golden brown, you grabbed the mittens to take the baking tray out.

“Wow, that looks delicious, Y/n.” Aunt Chul said as she just entered the kitchen. You smiled at her.

“I won’t be modest, Auntie. It is really delicious.” You giggled, placing the tray on the table. She chuckled.

“Really? Let me have a taste then.”

“Sure! But let’s wait for it to cool down for a bit,” You said as you removed the mittens and took the tongs to carefully transfer the bread onto the basket lined with wax paper.

“Oh! I’ll make us something to drink, Dear. What would you like?”

“I’ll have some green tea, please.” You requested.

“Sure, just a moment.” She began boiling the water and fetched the cups while you were arranging the bread in the basket, making it look presentable. Shortly after, you and the woman enjoyed the bread and tea together.

“This is so good, Dear!” Aunt Chul happily commented after the first bite. You nodded in agreement.

“Yes, it really is. I wonder who made it?”

The woman chuckled lightly. “No joke, Dear. It really is delicious. The cream cheese garlic bread I’ve had before didn’t taste like this. Sunghoon is really lucky to have someone like you, Dear. I hope you know that.” You were speechless at her words.

“I remember, Sohyun and Sunghoon used to love eating you baked good back then. They were the ones tasting and critiquing your creations.” Your smile faded as you recalled the past.

“I felt that they grew tired of tasting my breads back then. Especially Sunghoon.” You whispered softly.

“Oh, Dear! I doubt that,” The woman said with a chuckle and shook he head. “Didn’t Sunghoon always insist on tasting even the burnt ones?”

Yes, you could vividly remember that. Every batch you baked, whether perfectly made or not, Sunghoon always tasted them. He would praise them if they were delicious and cheer you on to do better next time if they weren’t. He was always there for you, ready to make you smile and feel good. He was your everything backthen. While you couldn’t do anything for him. You sighed.

“Yes, he’s a good guy…” You said softly just above whisper.

“What was that, dear?” The elderly woman asked. You glanced at her and gave a small smile.

“Nothing, Auntie.”

She took another bite of the bread and savored it like a child. “This is really delicious, Dear. I’ll miss this when you’re in Japan.”

You paused mid-bite upon hearing her words. “What? Japan?” You asked, confused.

“Yes, Japan. Didn’t Sunghoon tell you? You’re leaving tomorrow to go to Japan. Your husband has already arranged for your things to be packed,” She explained. Your jaw might have dropped at Aunt Chul’s news. Japan? Leaving? Tomorrow? You had no idea of what she was talking about. You felt your phone vibrating in your pocket.

“Heeseung…” You murmured as you saw the registered number. Quickly excusing yourself from Aunt Chul, you hurried upstairs to your room to answer the call.

“Heeseung?”

“What’s this I hear about you and Sunghoon leaving?”

He asked sternly. You paced back and forth in the room, feeling like a cat about to give birth, anxious and unsettled.

“I don’t know! Aunt Chul just mentioned it to me just now. I had no idea. Sunghoon hasn’t said anything about us leaving.”

You stopped in your tracks and pulled at your hair, feeling frustrated. What was he thinking?

“He’s freaking insane! You need to come home now, Y/n. We need to talk about this,”

He insisted.

“But—”

“If you won’t come here, I’ll come there.”

He said sharply. You took a deep breath.

“Okay, I’ll be there in an hour.”

You quickly left the mansion, being careful not to be seen by anyone. You also didn’t ask the driver to take you to avoid anyone from knowing where you were going. Upon arriving at your house, Heeseung form immediately greeted you. His face was serious.

“Let’s talk inside.” He said, leading the way.

—

Sunghoon and his father was greeted by Aunt Chul once they entered the mansion. “Would you like to two like to have snacks or rest first?” She asked.

“I’ll rest for a bit. I’ll come down later for dinner,” Mr. Park replied, heading up to his room.

“And you, son?” The woman turned to him. Sunghoon smiled at her.

“I’ll go rest first, Auntie.”

“Is that so? Y/n baked cream cheese garlic bread,” She added making him chuckle at her obvious teasing.

“I’ll go see her first, Auntie,” He replied.

“Oh, yes. That’s right.” She quickly agreed. “Go on, she’s in your room. She went up there after we ate earlier.” She gently nudged him.

“Hurry up now.” He chuckled at the woman’s gesture. He was near the stairs when she called him.

“I’m glad you hear your laughter again, son.” She said sincerely. He smiled back at her.

“Me too, Auntie.”

He went up to their room. However. It was dark inside, and you weren’t there. The windows were open, and the curtains swayed gently with the breeze. He wondered and checked the bathroom as well, but you weren’t there either. He went downstairs to find Aunt Chul.

“Auntie, have you seen Y/n?” He asked. She furrowed her brow.

“Isn’t she in your room?” He shook his head. “No.”

“Well, I just came from the garden, she wasn’t there either. Did you check the study? Other rooms?”

“Not yet,” He sighed. “Wait, maybe she went to her brother? Your wife had someone calling her from her phone earlier.”

Your phone? He recalled Heeseung visiting the bakery. He felt knot in his stomach. The fear he felt when he woke up and found the woman was not by his side returned.

“I’ll be out for a while,” He said and rushed to his car, got in, and drove away.

—

“I have talked to a friend who’s willing to lend us the money we need. If you’re still worried about that bastard’s check, I’ll go top the bank tomorrow and—”

“It’s not that simple, Hee,” You whispered. You were both on the sofa in your living room, having a serious conversation. You felt a chill at what your brother wanted to happen.

“What do you mean?” You sighed and looked straight at him. “Do you think Sunghoon would just agree to that?” He wasn’t able to respond. “He wouldn’t, Heeseung.”

Heeseung ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and leaned back on the sofa. “Then I think it would be better if you took some time away from him,” He suggested.

You shook your head. “I think it would only make things worse if I did that.”

“Then what do you think would work?” You couldn’t answer. None of your plans had worked. Reconciling the father and son. Gradually avoiding your husband. None of it happened.

“Look, y/n. I just want you safe. I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s why I’m doing this,” He said, holding your hand. “I’ll face Sunghoon myself. I’m the reason for all of this.”

You gave him a sad smile. “Liar.” He paused. “We both know who’s really at fault for all of this.”

He tightened his grip on your hand.“Y/n, I don’t want you thinking like that.”

You sighed. “Let me handle this, Hee. Let me leaver with Sunghoon to Japan, and there I’ll figure some things out.”

His eyes narrowed and he let go of your hand. “Are you seriously telling me that you’re really going with him?”

You looked down. “Honestly, I’m still hesitant about it. I’ll try to convince him later not to leave. But if he insists, maybe it’s better if I go with him for now.” You pleaded with him to understand. “I just can’t leave him.”

He stood up abruptly, clenching his fists.

“No.” It was a firm command. “You stay out of this. I’ll confront that piece of shit right now, and I’ll resolve this mess with him.”

“I’m here, Heeseung,” You and your brother almost simultaneously turned towards a cold and low voice. You gaped as you saw Sunghoon there.

He looked at you. “We’re going home, Y/n.” He was about to reach out to you but your brother’s large figure blocked his way as he stood up.

“Over my dead body.” You grabbed his arm.

“Hee, don’t start.”

“He was the one who started all of this!” Heeseung exclaimed. “And for what? Revenge? Only children would think of—” You gasped as Sunghoon lunged forward and delivered a punch at your brother’s face.

Heeseung slumped to the floor due to the impact. Your eyes widen as you saw Heeseung’s lip split open. You rushed to him and hurriedly wiped the blood from the corner of his lips. He stood up, his eyes glaring with retaliation for the punch he received from Sunghoon.

“Stop it!” You shouted, trying to intervene to break them up. When they didn’t budge, you raised your voice louder. “Enough!”

That seemed to snap them out of it, reminding them of your presence. Both men were panting heavily, and you could feel the tension thick in the air around them. You faced your brother. “We’re leaving. I’m going with him.”

He grabbed your arm. “No!”

“Please,” Your voice trembled in plea. Reluctantly, he let go and gave Sunghoon a sharp look. You called a helper and instructed them to bring a first aid kit. “Treat your wounds, Hee. Take care.” You hugged him.

You felt your husband tug on you. “Let’s go,” He whispered. He guided you out of the house towards his car. Heeseung didn’t follow, which you were thankful for. Upon reaching the car, Sunghoon spoke.

“Don’t try to run away from me like that.” He looked at you intently. He seemed to claim all the good looks in the world because even in dim light, he still looked godly… whit a bruised lip. You reached for his face.

“You have a bruise. Let’s hurry home so we can treat that,” You said.

He grasped your hand. “Answer me. Tell me you won’t run away from me.” His intense gaze made you feel like you were burning. You nodded slightly in response.

“Say it, damn it!”

“Sunghoon, I...” He held both sides of your face and gently forced you to meet his eyes.

“Is it really that hard? To be tied to me? To stay with me and remain by my side?” Your lips parted as you saw the desperation on Sunghoon’s face, as if his life depended on you staying.

“I promise I won’t hurt you. I won’t. I can’t”

“But you’re hurting my brother. And because of that, you’re also hurting me.” You don’t have the right to complain. You deserved the pain. But your brother?

He let go and sniffed the air. “Okay. You want me to stop hating on your brother? I can do that. I’ll do it for you.” He looked at you with a longing look. “You also said I should forgive my father? Fine, I’ll do that too.” You couldn’t speak. What was he trying to do to you? He reached out and held your palm, then clasped your hands.

“If I do all that, will you stay by my side? Will you promise not to leave me? Will you stay with me forever?”

“I realized that I was blinded by anger. Sohyun wouldn’t want me to blame the man she loved forever.” Joy enveloped your heart. It felt so good to hear your husband’s words. You never expected that he would be willing to do everything just to keep you by his side. That he’s finally ready to set his anger aside. But there’s one thing he didn’t know. And Sunghoon would hate you more if you keep it hidden from him much longer. You should have confessed earlier.

How will he believe you now? Even if you tell him that you love him…

Your eyes stung with tears. You shook your head. “No… You don’t understand.”

Sunghoon lifted your face with a finger, wiping your tear that traced a path down your cheek. “What do I not understand?” He asked, his voice soft yet urgent. “What is it, Y/n?”

You could only shake your head, your tears falling relentlessly. Sunghoon enveloped you in a warm embrace, offering you solace in the cold, dark night.

“Please, Y/n,” He murmured, his voice trembling with emotions. “Just promise me that you won’t run away. That we’ll always be together. That’s all I want to hear. Please.”

You continued to sob into his chest. Truth be told, you wanted the same thing—to be together forever, to be happy in each other’s arms. But that was impossible. It was never going to happen. You sniffled and gathered all your courage. Gently, you pushed him away from you. You shut your eyes tightly before looking straight into his eyes.

“It wasn’t my brother’s fault that Sohyun died. It was mine.” Your throat ached, and the words seemed to resist coming out. “It was only right that I pay for what I did. So it’s not fair that you blamed Heeseung for what happened…”

You saw Sunghoon’s expression change. “What are you talking about, y/n?” This isn’t your fault.”

You stood firm You knew you had to stick to the truth, no matter how painful. “It was all my idea. It was my decision that led to Sohyun’s death. I can’t let Heeseung suffer for something he didn’t do.”

A mixed of shock and confusion crossed Sunghoon’s face. “It wasn’t Heeseung’s fault that your sister is no longer with us. It was my fault. The anniversary surprise, the candle lit dinner—” You gulped, and tears streamed down your cheeks again. “Those were all my idea.” You roughly wiped away the tears, but no matter what you did, they kept falling.

“If I hadn’t suggested all that, Sohyun would still be here. You wouldn’t be left alone. Everything would be okay.” Your chest tightened as you confessed everything to him. “Sunghoon… I… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

You could barely breathe from crying, and through it all, Sunghoon just stood there in front of you. This must be it. He must be hating you now and cursing you to death. You wouldn’t be surprised if he suddenly told you to rot in hell. You turned away to head back to your house. You had your answers. You didn’t need to leave because Sunghoon wouldn’t want you anywhere with him anymore.

You calmed yourself and dried the tears to see your way, but a tight hug from behind stopped you in your tracks. The embrace was so firm, you could barely breathe. You cried even harder. Sunghoon turned you around and you buried your face in his chest.

‘I’m so sorry. I never thought it would all end in an accident.”

He comforted you. “Heeseung’s surprise for my sister was your idea. That’s all it was. You and Heeseung didn’t mean her any harm. Both of you just wanted to make her happy.” You pulled away slightly and looked up at him. There wasn’t a trace of hatred on his face.

“Aren’t you going to yell at me? Sohyun died because of me.” At that, you started crying again. He sighed and tried to calm you down.

“Weren’t you listening? To be honest, ever since you came back to in to my life, my anger had gradually disappeared. I think I used what happened as an excuse to keep you by my side. I could never hate you.”

“But—” He silenced you with a kiss.

“I’m sure my sister is happy up there. I know that because I felt like she’s watching over me from there. Sohyun never wanted me to live a miserable life.” He gently stroked your hair.

“She once told me that I should stop shutting myself from the world. And when she died, it felt like my anger was the only thing keeping me alive. Until I saw you again. You were so bright that I wanted to put everything behind me. And I remembered that my sister told me I always needed to stay in the light.” He carefully caressed your cheek. After a very long time, you saw the man you loved once again.

“And you are my light, Y/n. you’re my very own brand of sunshine. The moment I saw you again, I felt alive. You complete the happy days I once had.”

If this was a dream, you wished to be a princess who had slept for a long time. And if possible, you hoped never to wake up. If this was real, why did it seem so unbelievable? You had expected a mad beast with eyes full of hate, not a handsome prince with eyes filled with love.

Oh God. Is this real?

“Yes, Y/n. This is real.” You hadn’t realized that you voiced your question out.

“But, Sunghoon. I know how much Sohyun’s death affected you. I don’t want you to hide that from me just because you promised not to hurt me. Whatever makes you feel better—”

“It’s true that my sister’s death nearly killed me. But you…” He paused, searching for the right words.

“The thought of another person I love frightened the hell out of me. If I lose you, I know I won’t be able survive.”

You embraced him tightly. “I won’t leave you.”

“Do you really accept me as your husband, Y/n? Are you ready to be with me for always? Will you love me too?” He looked deep into your eyes.

You wanted to say yes. You wanted to tell him that you already loved him. That you have loved him for a long time. Your gaze shifted towards your house, where you saw your brother watching the both of you. He nodded, as if giving you the encouragement to do what you truly wanted. Slowly, a smile spread across your face. You looked up to Sunghoon, who was gazing at you with complete love. Tears pooled in your eyes again, but this time, they were tears of joy.

“I love you, Park Sunghoon.” You finally managed to say. “I’ve always loved you. Even when our paths separated, that love never faded. I still love you.” Sunghoon let put a breath, his eyes closing briefly.

He hugged you tight and kissed the top of your head. “Thank you. Thank you for loving me.”

You returned the warm embrace to your husband. “I still feel guilty about Sohyun,” you sighed.

“Stop it,” He scolded you gently. “She loves us, and I know she wants us to be happy. There’s nothing to worry about now, baby.” Right. Sohyun had been a kind and loving sister top Sunghoon. She treated you like a sibling too. She genuinely loved your brother. She wouldn’t want anyone of you to be sad.

Under the moonlight, you promised to love the man you promised to be with for a lifetime with all your heart. You would give him the light he needed and all the love you could offer. You would be together for an eternity. And it would start now.

“I love you so much. Y/n.” You heard him whisper. You tightened your hug on Sunghoon even more.

“I love you.”

It was supposed to be rainy afternoon according to the weather report last night. But the weather seemed to be cooperating with them because not a single dark cloud marred the sky. You wondered how it would feel to live in a world where there was no sadness and pain; where only the warmth of love and happiness enveloped you.

Then you realized that in this world, one need all those sufferings to appreciate the beauty of life. You should face your fears and endure trials to become a better person. You smiled as you looked back and saw your husband leaning against the tree where you were taking shelter.

Sunghoon is a great example of someone consumed by darkness, yet learning to return to the colorful world. Well, all of you went through some tough times, but you believed it was Sunghoon who suffered the most. You approached him, locking eyes. You sucked in your breath. He still looked dark and powerful, but that was just because of his striking physical appearance. The dark aura that used to surround him was gone.

“We need to get going, you know?” You reminded with a smile.

He held your waist and pulled you closer to him. “I know, baby. I was just doing some reminiscing.”

“Like when you tripped here while we were chasing after Sohyun and Heeseung?” you teased him. The corners of his lips lifted in to a smile.

“Very funny.” You grinned and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

“So… Shall we go to Sohyun’s grave?” Before, his expression darkened whenever he remembered his sister, not it didn’t. He maintained a light demeanor. It was Sohyun’s death anniversary, and you planned to visit with your brother, Heeseung. The feud between the two men had been resolved.

“Yeah, I think we should go now. I want to catch Heeseung being dramatic.”

You wrinkled your nose. “How mean.” Sunghoon just grinned and kissed you quickly on the lips. You both started walking towards his car.

“You know what? My visits to my sister will be different now,” He said.

“What do you mean?”

“Before, whenever I would visit her, I always said I would seek revenge on those responsible for her loss.” He tightened his grip on your hand. “But today would be different because you’re with me, and Heeseung and I are okay. I used to visit her with a heavy heart, but this time, I would face her with a smile.”

“And she must be smiling back at you,” You said happily.

“I know.” Sunghoon stopped walking and looked at you with lovingly.

“Thank you. Thank you for being my light, y/n.” You were momentarily taken aback but quickly returned the smile to your lips.

“I always got you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[the20thangel]

The Emperor and His Lady Chapter 7

Summary: Betrayals are ramped. Lucilla and Marcella unite to save a lady dear to them. Leaving Arabella to give Emperor Geta one last Ultimatum. Which will he choose?

Word Count: 2.5k

Tags: angst and violence

Taglist: @barcelonaloverf1life @justnobodynothingmore

Masterlist

After an hour, Arabella and Geta saw Caracalla finally calming down and his eyes starting to droop with sleep. Both helped up the younger twin and led him to his chambers. Geta took the liberty of placing his younger brother on his bed and covering him up. In a moment of vulnerability soothed the ginger’s hair. 

Sighing, he leaned away from his brother, turning back to Arabella, who stood at the front of the chamber door. Walking towards her, Geta grasped her waist, pressing a chaste kiss on her lips. 

“The sickness from his loins has started to travel to his head… every day, he seems to worsen, Arabella; I don’t know what to do with him,” Geta whispered, turning to watch as Caracalla snuggled further into his sheets. 

Arabella stared at the younger, feeling pity for his deteriorating health. Turning back to her emperor, she rubbed his arms and kissed his exposed chest. 

“Just keep doing what you have been, my love, showing him compassion and patience. It's all we can do to keep him comfortable,” she replied, sincerely smiling. 

The two lovers left to return to their chambers, not noticing someone in the background waiting to implant more of his poison. 

Macrinus crept into Caracalla’s chamber, watching the younger tossed and turned before noticing the older man. 

“Ah, my imperator, apologies for disturbing you after a hectic night; I just wanted to check on you… especially after I heard your brother struck you.” 

Caracalla sat up, notching his head to the side. “Yes, but Arabella was lovely to me and defended me from my brother… I miss the times when she and I were close.” 

Macrinus nodded, sitting on the bed, pondering before turning his attention back, “You two were close before, yes? What Changed? Once she started paying more attention to Geta? Poor girl, spending many years yearning for someone who always kept her at a distance… Where here you were always willing to be hers… Did you not notice that once you seemed more interested in Arabella, Geta came and swooped her from your grasp?” 

Caracalla nodded with wide eyes; what Macrinus had spoken about was true. He and Arabella were closer during their younger years… and Geta constantly humiliated her. And yes, after he showed interest that he wanted Arabella, his brother suddenly reciprocated the lady’s love. Why? Did Geta do it on purpose?

Macrinus smirked, seeing his words taking root, “I bet if Arabella had experienced your love, she would all but forgotten about Geta. Everything has always been for Geta, but what about you… what about Caracalla? Think about it, my emperor… I shall leave you to think… pleasant dreams.” 

Macrinus bowed before leaving Caracalla alone in the dark, his mind racing.

As the next day came upon the room, the mood seemed somber. Knowing what today entailed, Arabella did not have the energy to rise from her slumber. As she awoke, she quivered before nestling herself further into Geta’s arms. Wishing the embrace from her lover would take away the pain from her heart.  Unfortunately, it did not; as Geta rose, he knew her predicament and decided to leave her in the palace. The healer stressed Arabella needed to remain calm for their child, and he did not want to be the cause of any distress. 

As the emperor prepared for the day’s games, dressing in colors inspired by Apollo, he shook his hands to steady his nerves. Turning back to his bed, he saw his love lying on his cushions. She looked like a goddess. Walking to her, Geta raised her head, making the young lady stare at each other's eyes. 

“I’m sorry, my love, but it has to be done.” he apologized, hoping she understood why he had to execute her surrogate parents. 

Arabella closed her eyes, allowing a lone tear to fall as she nodded, knowing even if she protested , she knew that nothing could be done to change his mind. 

Geta smiled and deeply kissed his lady, “I love you, my sweet girl.” 

Eyes filled with tears, Arabella returned a smile to Geta, “and I adore you, My Geta.”

Her words encouraged him as Geta pressed one more kiss and left for the Colosseum. 

Arabella shakily exhaled, rising from the bed to change into a gown. As she slowly combed her hair, Marcella entered the room, giving her a small smile as the older woman prepared her. 

“How are you, sweet one?” asked the handmaiden. 

Arabella gulped, trying not to cry, “In torment, the man I love is signing the death warrant on the two people who cared for me all these years. I should hate him… but I can’t … I adore him, Marcella; it is why I kept my distance all those years; I have always loved him.” 

Marcella paused her work, staring at her lady with sympathy; she embraced the young woman’s shoulders. “Oh, my sweet girl, I wish I could help you save them…alas, General Acacius was kept under the Colosseum; he is to fight a group of guards and then a gladiator named Hano.” 

Arabella's eyes shook as Marcella’s voice blended into the background as she realized Lucius was not aiming for her or the emperors; he wanted Acacius. Lucius was going to kill the man she considered more her father than her actual father. 

Turning, Arabella questioned, “and Lucilla, what awaits for her?” 

Marcella shook her head, “I do not know yet. All I know is that she must watch Acacius’s death beside the emperors.”  

Nodding, not knowing what else to do, Arabella allowed her handmaiden to finish her work. All day, Arabella worried for her lady and for her emperor. Her mind pounded as the two sides of her heart fought. Sighing and rubbing her head, Arabella jumped when she heard a commotion outside the palace. Walking towards the window, she watched in shock as the people of Rome began to riot. 

Walking away, she peeked into the hallways, seeing nervous servants and concubines run around. Noticing Marcella running towards her, she reentered her chambers. 

“What has happened?” She whispered, growing more on edge with the people’s shouts. 

“The people are rioting; Hano did not want to execute Acacius, so Geta had him shot to death. Hano then gave a speech about how Rome treats its heroes. The emperors should be on their way back. Arabella, you need to flee, it’s not safe.” 

Arabella shook her head, “No, I need to stay here… I need-” 

“No, I understand you love him, but please, for your survival, you must leave him behind, sweet one. Do not throw your life for him.” Marcella countered. 

Arabella pushed herself away. “No… I can’t… I’m…Marcella. I’m with a child, Geta’s child. I cannot abandon the father of my child,” she whispered, tears falling down my cheeks. 

Marcella eyes softened, “Oh my girl, what trouble have you placed yourself in… If Lucilla were free, she could have helped you.” 

“But she is not Marcella. Please save yourself…thank you for helping me all these years.” Arabella thanked Marcella, kissing the older woman’s hands. 

Marcella shook her head, “Please, Ara, come with me…” she pleaded. 

Arabella denied her again, “No… I must stay… Now go, quick…” 

Sniffing, the handmaiden kissed her lady’s cheek as she ran, leaving through the servant's path to flee the palace. Seeing the crowd angry, trying to break from the guards. 

Marcella thought of a way to save her lady. Lady Lucilla would be given up as a sacrifice, a last stitch to make the people heel. Rome needs Lucilla to lead them on the right path. Lucilla has always protected Arabella. Making her choice, the servant ran to the Dungeons, hiding as she saw Macrinus laughing as he walked away from Lucilla. 

“I will make Rome my own… and you will be nothing by forgotten history.”  Macrinus taunted as he left to continue his plan to take hold of the power he thought rightfully belonged to him. 

Marcella sneered at the thought; walking towards the chamber, she broke the lock and opened the door. 

Lucilla, hearing her chamber open, turned to see a servant. 

Bowing, Marcella said, “My lady, I am Lady Arabella’s handmaiden. I have come to release you from your prison. 

Lucilla smiled and thanked the woman, “My Arabella… is she safe?” 

Marcella shook her head, causing Lucilla to panic, “Caracalla and Macrinus are plotting against Geta; she will be in danger… We need to help her.” 

Lucilla bit her lip, “There is an army outside of Rome, waiting for my husband’s command… I will go in his place to take Rome back from Caracalla and Macrinus. I know Arabella will survive; she is smart, but I cannot leave right now. They will be coming for me tomorrow.” 

Marcella nodded, “I know, my lady, that’s why I am here… I am taking your place. Go now. Assemble your army. I will die in your place… just please promise me you will do everything to keep Arabella safe.” 

As Lucilla and Marcella switched clothes and places, Lucilla confirmed Marcella’s wish, “I will always protect her… Thank you, Marcella, for keeping my sweet girl safe all these years. Thank you for helping Rome.” 

Marcella, through tears, smiled, bowing to the former empress, “I will do it again and again, for Arabella… for Rome… and her child.” 

Lucilla gasped but nodded, understanding the severity of the situation. She rushed out to meet Lucius before leaving for the army, who anxiously awaited their command.

Chaos remained in the palace as servants, nobles, and guards ran throughout. As Arabella inhaled and exhaled to relax her breathing, Geta rushed into the chambers. 

Arabella turned and ran towards his arms, “Geta! Oh, I’m so relieved. I was afraid something might have happened… where’s Caracalla?” 

Geta wrapped his lady into his arms, kissing her forehead. “He has gotten worse, my love; I had to walk away, or I would have done something I would regret. I understand he is scared, but he is becoming too erratic…” 

Arabella furrowed her brows in confusion about Caracalla’s behavior; something must be causing it.

“Who is he with my love? Surely he's not on his own right now?” she questioned.

Geta shrugged, “I think Macrinus was close by… why?” 

Arabella contemplated before she froze. Caracalla had been closer to Macrinus, and ever since that man, Caracalla’s behaviors had worsened. Could he be the cause? She thought. 

“Geta… Macrinus, what if he is-” Arabella was interrupted as an Actor burst into the chambers. 

Geta, gathering Arabella into his arms, sneered at the actor dressed similarly to him. 

“What are you doing in here? You are not allowed to enter my chambers-” 

“I apologize, Augustus, but I had to warn you… that man…Macrinus is poisoning your brother towards you… I heard him speak words conspiring against you… you must flee!” warned the actor.

Geta shook his head, not wanting to believe, “No, My brother and I have always been one. He would never-” 

Arabella pulled Geta’s arm, interrupting her lover defending his brother. 

“Geta, I have a bad feeling; we need to flee, please my love…” 

Geta pushed her away, shaking his head, “No, Caracalla is a loyal brother. He would never…” 

Everyone in the room froze as Caracalla’s and Macrinus's voices came closer. 

Arabella pulled Geta into a false wall, pressing him into the wall as she flushed her body to him. 

Caracalla entered the room, searching for his brother and lady. Seeing only his brother, he raised his dagger. “Brother, you lied. You said we would always be one… that our empire would be ours, that the people would be ours, but you lied to me, brother.” 

“Geta”, shook his head, “I have never lied, Caracalla… I have never once conspired against you, brother. Please...” 

Caracalla growled, stalking towards “Geta” with Macrinus close behind, “Yes, you lie! You replaced me with Arabella! You do not even love her! You always were cruel to her, keeping her at a distance. I love her, and you selfishly took her from me! You always take from me, even in the womb!” 

Arabella closed her eyes, pressing further into Geta’s body as her lover shook, hearing such hate come from his brother’s mouth. 

“No, Caracalla, it's not tru-” gasped “Geta” as Macrinus led Caracalla to slice his neck, blood gushing as both men hackled off “Geta’s” head from his body. 

“He can no longer hurt you, my emperor,” Macrinus watched in fascination. 

Caracalla numbly looked at his brother's head, “What about Arabella?”

Macrinus hummed, searching the room for any sign of the girl. 

“Worry not; I shall find her and bring her to you. She will be your empress. She will see your kindness and mercy by making you her empress. She will not deny you,” soothed Macrinus, raising the younger twin. 

“Now, let us call a Senate meeting; we need to make several changes…” commanded Macrinus, leading Caracalla out before turning and taking “Geta’s” head. 

Arabella slowly peeked outside the false wall, seeing both men gone, and sighed in relief before stepping out. Geta followed, numb from what had taken place. Gagging, Arabella turned away from the body as she stared at her Geta, who had tears flowing down his cheeks. 

“Oh, my love… I’m so sorry…” She whispered, walking towards him. 

Geta shook his head in disbelief. “I have always defended him… how can he despise me so easily?” 

Arabella shook her head, grabbing his arm, “I do not know, but we can’t stay here; he thinks you are dead and wants to make me his empress… we need to leave.” 

“No, I need to get my brother back, bring him back to reason… we are twins, Arabella… we can’t…” 

“Geta, you said so yourself; Caracalla’s sickness is harming his mind… that is not your brother anymore… please Geta, come with me.” 

Geta stepped back, watching as Arabella's face fell, tears falling down her cheeks. “I need to Ara…” 

Arabella felt 15 again, pleading for her prince, no, her emperor, to choose her. She felt again being pushed away. Taking a deep breath, she decided it would end here. 

Emperor and Lady, at an arm's distance from each other, stared at one another. Arabella gave her lover her final plea, her final ultimatum: “Geta… My Geta, I am going to ask you one last time. I cannot do this again. Please, my love, choose me. Choose our child. Choose our love. Come with me… I will not ask again… I will leave. I will protect my- our baby with or without you.” 

Geta closed his eyes. His emotions mixed, and he felt powerless, but as he opened his eyes and stared at his lady, he made his choice… he chose her… he chose their child. 

Geta nodded as Arabella sobbed in relief, walking into his arms. Arabella kissed her love, pouring all her passion into the kiss. After a minute, she separated her lips from him. 

“Quickly, take some gold and treasures and follow me. We will use the servant's pathways.” 

The two quickly filled a bag with valuables and left the chambers, trading their fine clothes for servants' clothes and sneaking out of the palace. As they crossed the pavilion, One Senator stepped into their path. Halting, Arabella whispered in shock and worry. 

“Uncle…” 

Arabella's Uncle stared in shock… his niece was with the supposed dead Emperor Geta. 

“Niece… Emperor Geta… where will you run?”

[ezraischell]

Tags : terminally ill!reader, spoilers, angst, dunno what else to put.

“dear death, goodnight.” — gallagher x fem!reader

She felt betrayed. So this was how betrayal felt. No wonder others would often state it to be a painful experience. At this point, She's just wondering if everyone on her side will always betray her like this good friend of hers did. Why? Because he was 'Death' The nightmare that The Family spoke silent of. He stands with a lopsided yet ominous smirk on his face right after the memetic entity lunges it's claw through her back..

The dream he was to her little heart no longer remained. Despite being a sickly person, she actually has a few cards up her sleeve. However, she never thought that she would be using it against the friend that she trusted the most. She was preparing it for when the time of her death comes but to think that she would use it so abruptly and sooner than she planned, she wasn't expecting it. “Die, Gallagher..” She muttered weakly as the claw of the memetic entity impaled her back while she shakily raised her hand, a glowing bow manifesting from her side before she snapped her fingers, causing the bow to shoot a massive arrow towards him. However, due to her blurry eyesight caused by the blood loss on her part, she failed to actually aim at him. The arrow manage to graze Gallagher's shoulder, causing him to grimace before his smirk reappeared. Oh, how desperate... His hand grabbed her shoulder as he swung her around to stare into her face before leaning down. Gallagher pressed his face against her cheek just enough to be close. His voice was soft, almost intimate, as he spoke to her. "Do you realize how pathetic this is? You're clinging to your useless last breath. That bow of yours won't even phase me. Why do you struggle..?" She could barely hear and comprehend his words anymore, already out of her mind as she was slowly dying. However, despite this, her only thought was to protect the family against her friend, gallagher, who is also the death that the family has been warned about. Thus, without much thought, she decided to use her final card against her friend who betrayed her and the family. “Must.. protect.. the family.. Can't fail..” There was a reason as to why she was ill and sickly in the first place. It was because she was constantly using her vitality whenever she uses her powers blessed and granted to her by the Aeon of the Hunt named Lan, especially since the very core of her power was her heart. Therefore, she raised her trembling hand towards her chest, sharp claws growing on her nails with the intention to rip her heart out. Gallagher's eyes widened as he watched his friend. She had so little time left already, but she still insisted on fulfilling her duty to The Family. He couldn't just keep staring. Gallagher pulled her towards him and wrapped his hands around hers, stopping her from ripping her own heart out. He lifted her up in order to lay both him and her down on the ground. His hands were still gripping her hands as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. Using the last ounce of her strength, she pushed Gallagher off of her and immediately impaled her chest with her sharp claws as it sunk deep into her skin before pulling her heart out, it was bleeding but the color was unusual, the color of the blood that her heart bled was blue. It wasn't normal at all. It was the pinnacle and the very anchor of her power. "Wake up.. Avatar of Retribution.." She stuttered one final command as she crushed the heart in her hand and used the blood to draw a certain insignia with its blood, causing a giant cross to appear as it chained the memetic entity to itself and struck it endlessly with consecutive flashes of thunder. On the other hand, she was already dying, just a few more minutes and she'll finally lose her life. As much as she wanted to kill Gallagher, also known as death, she couldn't. She was way too attached to her friend despite his betrayal towards her and the family.

Gallagher watched as her heart bled and was used as some sort of medium for her so called final card. Her power is in her very blood and heart? He would have to admit, he's never been as fascinated as he currently is in his entire life.

Right after undergoing the attack of retribution, the memetic entity still managed to live and survive since due to her weakened condition, the final card had its limits and therefore, was also weakened. However, it didn't survive unscathed.

Gallagher leaned over to his dying friend, taking her in his arms gently, despite her bleeding heart. She was dying... and there was no coming back from that. Gallagher placed her head on his chest, caressing her hair as he spoke to her.

“How did you think this would play out, my dear friend?”

She could only offer a strained smile towards him as she sighed before closing her eyes, her breathing now shallow and slow as her body began to feel numb and limp.

“I.. I don't know.. mm.. I'm tired.. Gallagher..” She muttered weakly, her mind slowly blanking out on her as the smile on her lips soon dissipated into a thin line.

“Shh....” Gallagher said softly as his hands ran through her hair, his voice gentle but bittersweet. He was still aware that his friend was dying right in his arms.

“Rest now, my friend. You're very tired... go back to your dreams.”

Gallagher leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead, and brushed aside the loose hair off of her forehead before closing her eyes. “...Sleep..”

Despite her eyes being closed, it still managed to shed tears as her tears stained her face while her hand slowly slipped out of his grasp and fell limp to her side.

“I.. I love you, Gallagher..” She managed to croak out, albeit weakly as her voice wavered, finally losing her ability to speak as she uttered her final words.

She had always wanted her last words to be something cool back in the past and she was intending to practice it on Gallagher but she definitely did not expect to confess her feelings to him as her first last words.

“Goodnight..” Thus, after finally uttering these final words, she succumbed to her death. She finally confessed her feelings right before her death.

It was a bittersweet moment for Gallagher, who continued to run his hands through her hair. When he noticed her final tears falling off her face and the loose hand that slipped out of his grasp, he began to tear up.

Gallagher leaned down to kiss her. “I love you more.” He muttered before letting his lips rest on her forehead.

“...Goodnight, My little wolf..”

[sheepispink]

Crushed Expectations are better with you

tags: leon kennedy/reader, fluff, enemies to friends to lovers, can be seen as platonic tho, they sleep together 😍, literally tho, arguing and banter they’re such cuties

Masterlist

Summary: When Leon and Reader fight for an opportunity to work in a real DSO taskforce, they eventually both manage to get a place in differing teams. However, when the day comes to an end, the hopes they had for the week ahead had been flattened completely. So naturally, they bicker as any sworn enemies do… and fluff ensues just like any enemies story.

Notes: this is NOT re2 leon even if it is rught after re2. Umm it’s kind of before re4 but not but kind of?;’;? also hai massive disclaimer reader and leon lowkey laugh at someone throwing up after seeing blood. THE PERSON WHO DID IT WAS AN EXPERIENCED AGENT, NOT A RANDOMER, SHE’S SEEN BLOOD PLENTY SO THEY’RE CONFUSED. theres worse stuff on this damn website but i dont want anyone to think i’m bullying them for their phobia, honest its not in that context anyway just read before i die

WC: 3.9k

You can’t remember when you first locked your heart on an opportunity like this; it seemed like your lifelong dream. The only thing that came to mind was the board meeting with the rest of the rookies you had been training beside for the past three months. A chance to prove yourself and join an actual task force—not just stupid patrols around the block but real, actual missions. It was like your mind salivated at the mere thought of it, your heart instantly picking up pace; the idea of actually wielding a handgun and fighting off drug groups or even mafia was like a seed that was deep rooted into your mind. It fills you with a bright buzz of adrenaline, but unfortunately you’re not the only one who seems to live for this high. Leon wouldn’t dare back down on such a promising idea, so when you both happened to get the place for the internship, anger and betrayal festered in your hearts quickly.

“There's supposed to be one place!”

Leon argued with the director, refusing to believe he had slaved away his life graduating from the police academy, surviving an infested city, and all of this extra‘special’ training only for you to get in regardless of his efforts. Of course you were the same, believing you should’ve been the first to be accepted due to the efforts you constantly put forward.

“Both of you, quiet. The decision is final, we need another person to fill for an injured teammate, so now there are two openings. Now shoo.”

The pair of you didn’t need to look at each other to know the glare on the other’s face. This rivalry was born in the harsh conditions this job forced you two to undertake and the reality of the state of the world right now—trust no one and fight to survive. Leon knew that far too well, and so the feud started the day he saw how fast you managed to beat his record in one of the courses. He had to be better; he promised himself that this time it would be different—it had to be.

On the first day of the job, you were brimming with excitement, arriving far earlier than recommended and even going so far as to prepare something to meet the team with. Time seems to go by quickly when you’re having fun, and while something as serious as this was hardly the idea of fun to many, it certainly seemed like this opportunity would fly by just from how eager you were to start.

If a train could run completely off the rails even with the driver built for the job and perfectly fine tracks, that’s exactly how you’d describe your current situation. An unprecedented mess.

You stumble into the common area following your fifth heavy sigh of the day and likely not the last of the week. The rookies who didn’t get a place in one of the task forces were sent off to observe and shadow a team in the Whitehouse. Also known as the most boring job ever and the superiors just trying to fob off the worst of the crop elsewhere. Luckily for you, this meant this whole space, not that it was very big, was all yours for the next week or so. It’s hardly enough compensation to even balance the scales with the crap you dealt with today, but that doesn’t mean you’ll pass off the chance to actually relax in between the craze that is known as your life. The little table that somehow turned into a snack bar catches your eyes immediately; it’s always empty due to greedy rookies with zero manners. You roll your eyes at the thought of those rowdy savages finishing the stock before the afternoon and brew yourself a cup of tea, thinking over what you could watch on the TV there before heading to bed. The possibilities are endless; hell, you could even watch My Little Pony and no one would bat an eye—perks of being the only one here, you suppose. Though not enough to lighten your flattened mood, you stir your tea anyway and settle on an action movie to actually compensate for everything you had missed out on today—especially the excitement.

“Better head back to your room, this place is mine tonight.” A cocky voice echoes out in the room and thus causes you to spin around a little too fast, instantly freezing from the hot tea splashing onto your sleeve. Surprisingly, spilling the tea was the least of your problems, as you had seemed to meet your worst nightmare on the couch, remote control claimed by his hand as he flicked through Netflix.

Your jaw is practically on the floor—why the hell is he here?! Fighting for the space in the agency, constantly belittling you during training, and even the raised eyebrows each time you failed—that you could handle, but this snapped the thread that was already thinning quickly.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” You exclaim before promptly storming over to the couch, disbelief in your voice and tea still dripping down your arms. Even though a small part of you knows he’s technically allowed to be here too since he technically got a space in the other task force, it doesn't mean you’re not allowed to be infuriated by his sudden intrusion.

“Woah, easy there, sweetheart.”

Leon’s eyebrows furrow as well as his lips turn to form a frown, and before he can even roll his eyes, they’re already swirling with something else. Someone might even argue concern.

“You dropped your hot tea all over yourself; seriously, how did you get that internship when you’re this careless?”

His hand wraps around your wrist in a firm grip as he tugs you down onto the couch, grabbing tissues from the box on the coffee table with his free hand. Thankfully, the tea wasn’t enough to burn your skin, though he thought it had for a moment. Guess you can't get mad at the crappy kettle in here anymore.

“I can do it myself—“

His actions only serve to embarrass you—you’re not some kid to be coddled; you can handle yourself. Snatching the tissues from his hands and wiping down your arms, a slightly embarrassed huff escapes, which is more annoyed at his presence than the sting of the sudden heat.

“You do realise I'm staying back here too? Just because I joined a different task force doesn't mean I'm in another country.” He scoffs, chewing down on a particularly large chocolate cookie. Settled on the couch now and having dealt with the tea long ago, you nibble at some of the cookies you never have a chance at getting. The pair of you seemed to have the same idea, having brought your duvet and pillows from your own quarters to turn the couch here into your bed. But that ultimately failed upon realising the other was there; so now you sit at opposite ends, curled up in your own duvets, and throw each other the occasional glare if you even brush legs.

“Well, still— I was here first. You should’ve just gone.” You argue, not about to just let this slide so quickly. He’d be damned if he thought you’d just allow him to walk all over you like this. Leon scoffs in response, leaning over to steal one of the biscuits you took from the snackbar.

“Yeah, as if. I got the couch first, you know; you should really just go make your little tea and run along. Oh no—I can't let you do that; you might spill it again, and I'll have you clean you up.”

Leon’s words only rile you up more, especially since he robbed one of your biscuits, the chocolate one at that. Sure, the snackbar had plenty of them, but that still counts as thievery in your books.

“Shut up about the tea already; you’re so damn annoying. I bet you’ll just go boast about the amazing day today you had too, huh?”

That pisses him off; he wasn't initially annoyed by your presence—always taking the opportunity to agitate you as much as possible—but he definitely is now. He shifts in his seat so he’s facing you directly, harsh sarcasm written in his eyes.

“Oh? I had the best day? Right—like you aren't going to one up me straight after I speak. I bet you’re just itching to tell me all about how they’re going to extend your internship.”

The pair of you go back and forth, your own crashing disappointment mixed with the horrible mistreatment fuelling this anger towards him for no apparent reason. In your head, he’s trying to spite you and brag in order to prove that he’s better. It makes your blood boil until both the blankets along with the crumbs left behind slip onto the floor.

On his side, he’s brimming with the fantasy of just punching you right there. Look at you, trying to rub it in his face. You’re so selfish and rude, and it makes his mind cloud with frustration and rage, unable to even think clearly. Neither of you can realise how stupid this argument is or the pointlessness of it all. So, the next ten or so minutes are spent spewing out every insult in the book, tearing each other down, and only making the anger shared between the two of you fester into hatred.

“You think I have a big ego? You started this whole argument to piss me off because you got the better end of the stick. You’re nothing but a selfish, disgusting—“

He shouts, practically scrambling up and ready to yank you by your collar just to put you in your place for once. He doesn't know what else he’ll do, but he wants to shut you up desperately.

“Better end of the stick?! I had the worst day anyone could ever have—I should’ve just let you take the damn position!” You cry out, frustrated and even more annoyed at how he freely insults you. You’ve had enough of that today; if you take anymore, you might just lose it.

Leon suddenly pauses, blinks at you, and just stares blankly with wide eyes. “Your day.. it didn't go well either?”

Now it's your turn to stare at him like an idiot, confused by his words. Didn't he know that already? You thought he was doing all this because he knew it hadn't gone as expected.

“Either? What do you mean? Did yours not..”

“Go well, yes. Mine was terrible too. Like trying to prove myself to a brick wall.”

That makes you let out a sudden snort as you watch him sit back slightly, finding the words very relatable in your situation as well. Snorting turns to giggling, and you’re soon full of laughter with a small grin on your face. He can't help but crack a smile too, playfully jabbing you with his elbow.

“Hey—stop, it wasn't that funny. You’re laughing at my pain now.”

“I’m laughing because I went through the same thing, idiot. What is wrong with those agents?”

Finding out you both shared a similar experience is a pleasant surprise for him, relieved that for once he can just complain without someone trying to one-up him. You’re far too tired to even keep up that hatred anyway— you’d much rather giggle at your shortcomings even though you two almost got physical.

Grabbing your duvet again and some more cookies, you relax into the couch properly now, both propped up at each end. It’s not the longest couch, so your legs brush occasionally as you sit and face each other, nibbling at snacks while you still snicker at his stories.

“I shot practically two of those damn monsters dead without hesitation, like the agency always taught us. You know what those stuck-up agents told me? I should’ve checked if they were humans first. Those things were practically growling at me!”

You laugh once more as a frustrated expression comes over his face, making your own light up as you prepare to tell him how bad your day went.“Trust me, I've been through it too. They practically ignored me for half the morning and then scolded me for scouting ahead! Not to mention, one of the girls had a serious crush on one of the guys, and she would glare at me every time I asked him for the latest intel.”

Leon’s eyes light up in disbelief, lips curving up in mirth. “No way—they actually have crushes in their own teams? I thought that was like, against every protocol.”

“That's what i thought too,” You nod your head in agreement before taking a bite out of another cookie. “It was so obvious; I was convinced they were trying to test me or something.”

“Damn, and I thought the girl throwing up over a bit of bioweapon blood was bad.”

“She threw up over blood?!”

You feel a weight off your chest as you finally rant about your day to someone else, feeling better knowing it hadn't been your fault. In truth, you were so pent up by their constant attitude towards you that you had started to wonder if you were the problem in the taskforce. Though now you have the reassurance you never thought you needed to relax. The same goes for him, his shoulders relaxing with every word as he settles into the couch. Once you both agree that in conclusion, the opportunity was a waste of time, you shake hands on it, promising you’ll never be as bad as they were. That's hardly a thought now though, already brushing up against each other like teenagers in a sleepover while you pick an action movie.

“I want to watch the new Fast and Furious.”

“Oh, come on, you know they get worse with every new one. Give me that,”

He grabs the remote control, unable to control a smirk at your shocked face, before switching genres in search of something else. “See, this is quality content.”

“Leon—you want to watch a documentary. On war. I’ve already had enough of that!”

“But the action is so much better than your one!”

It takes the pair of you a full fifteen minutes before Netflix breaks and you’re forced to watch a David Attenborough documentary on animals in tropical islands. There's a slight pout on both of your faces having been forced to watch something so.. slow after wanting to watch action and excitement.

That's when you start snickering at a funny-looking stick insect; you point at it and then look towards him.

“Hey, it kind of looks like you-“

He shoves a cookie into your mouth, causing you to splutter before quickly chewing down on it before you choke.

“What was that? Were you saying that’s your twin?”

He points to another strange-looking animal, making sure to pick the worst possible to annoy you. This creates another back and forth until the channel finally changes the film, playing a somewhat decent action movie.

“Hey..” You begin to murmur, your head drooping onto your palm as the night grows deeper.

“Mhm?”

“Y’know.. one of the girls in my team mentioned she won't be here for the rest of the time. So if you wanna.. I don't know..”

“Join your team?”

“..Yeah. If you want.”

Rubbing the bags beneath your eyes does little to soothe you as your head finally starts to sink into the soft cushions and you have to shift your position a little to see him.

“Why? You can’t survive on your own without a little friend with you?”

He watches you get sleepier and sits up, shuffling over to you; there's no way he’s going to let you fall asleep without getting under your skin just a little bit more. The mocking tone makes you tilt your head up to look at him, seeing him awfully closer but you’re too preoccupied with his insult.

“Hey- i can survive perfectly fine! It's you who was complaining; I’m being a good samaritan-“ A frown has already formed on your lip, along with nudging him with your foot, trying to get him to stop.

“Alright, alright, I get the point; stop kicking me.” He picks up one of the pens across the coffee table, playfully poking against the fluffy socks you wear and thus causing you to retract from the ticklish feeling. “I’ll come, okay? I’ll ask to switch teams, but there's one condition.”

“Which is?”

“The night we have to camp outside, we have to share a tent. There's no way I'm risking sleeping beside someone who snores or just stinks. At least I know you’re none of those things, even if you are annoying all of the time.”

You snicker at the thought of him tossing and turning endlessly, your mind returning to a year prior. Leon could never get to sleep during the extensive training with all the other recruits, that much had been clear from the dark circles under his eyes every morning. Still, you didn't provide him any mercy and continued to snicker when he fell asleep mid lunch break. So, as any sleep deprived and grumpy rival would do: he decided to ruin your sleep. He had carefully stepped into your tent that night, eyes heavy but with a determination full of vengeance, and snuck over to your mattress. Tugging at your hair, creaking the mattress, pulling the blanket off, blowing on your face—every single thing he had tried failed to wake you from your slumber. You were such an incredibly deep sleeper, lying on your side with your legs in some random position and one cheek squished onto your hand, that you absolutely refused to wake. He hadn’t slept normally for four days, and so his frustration pushed him to fall asleep right there on your mattress, absolutely exhausted. The surprise on your face when you woke was incomparable, and unfortunately all it took was the shuffle of you sitting up to wake him once more.

“Yeah, alright, deal, but I still can't believe I'm the only one you can sleep beside.”

“It’s not like that—I can sleep by myself, you’re just quiet; it’s like you’re not even there.” He scoffs quickly, nudging you to move up, which you do very reluctantly, bringing your knees to your chest and sitting up. This couch is far too small for two, but he doesn’t care; he’s already moving forward. With a few more shuffles, he’s sitting beside you, both of your backs against the armrest—closer than you had been that night.

“Did the tea actually burn you?”

He asks before you can even question his motives, his fingers trailing your sleeves as he moves them up your shoulder to get a better look. The red mark on your upper arm is noticeable even with as far as you pulled your sleeves down to cover it. His calloused fingertips are rough as they trail the sensitive skin, his eyebrows beginning to knit together in worry.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have been such a prick to surprise you and cause you to drop your tea like that.”

He murmurs, feeling a swell of guilt in his gut as his eyes flitter up to meet yours sheepishly— something you’d never expect to see a year ago.

“Thanks, but it’s okay, I don't think it’ll leave a scar. The kettle barely made the tea that hot.”

He lets out a small hum and then pulls the duvets over you a little bit more, looking down at you as you fiddle with your sleeve again.

“You think it’s always going to be this bad? You know, the missions? They treat us like we’re literally nothing to them; this isn’t what I signed up for.” You suddenly blurt out, revealing what has been weighing heavy on your chest for weeks now. It’s not like you could talk to many of the rookies, and training sessions were already tough enough; you didn't exactly need your superior breathing down your neck for simply being unhappy. “Nah,” He shakes his head and playfully puts a hand onto your head to ruffle your hair—messing up all the carefully brushed locks into what now resembles a bird's nest.

“I’ve seen the top ranking agents; none of them are that incompetent. We just gotta prove that we’re capable of being like them too by pushing through this.” His words are oddly comforting considering they’re usually targeted against every aspect of your being, but you’re not going to call him out on that. You blink tiredly and hum in agreement, nodding your head slowly with each of your words. “I guess. When you join my team, we might even overshadow the others.” You chuckle a little, imagining those incompetent people dropping their jaws. They were pretty lazy, to be fair; all you two had to do was stay alert, and that would be enough. He can't help but chuckle himself and follows you as you begin to sink down into the couch, your legs stretching out to touch the other end.

“Don't get ahead of yourself, I'll overshadow all of you singlehandedly; I don't need your help.” He remarks, a cocky glint in his eyes as he pats your shoulder like one would do to a small kid. That only makes you roll your eyes, settling onto your back as you grumble to yourself before spitting out the most childish remark you can.

“Go away, you’re so annoying.”

“I can’t; the air conditioning is broken outside my room, and it’s being much louder than usual.” He mumbles as he pulls his duvet up to his neck; his shoulders bump against yours when he shifts onto his side, cheek pressing into the pillow.

“That's why I'm here, dimwit.” Despite the insult, he can't quite find the cold tone that usually accompanies it—lost in exhaustion and the need to just relax for once in his hectic schedule.

“Are you trying to kick me off the couch? There's barely any space, you know.”

He lets out a small grunt, not saying a word as he shifts his legs to get more comfortable— ignoring the way he can see you fighting to keep your left leg on the couch. “Don't care what you do. You’re just a nuisance.”

“Yeah, because everyone cuddles up to a nuisance, don't they?” You roll your eyes and reluctantly shift onto your side so you won't fall, feeling his warmth disappear from your shoulder as you turn. “What if our supervisor comes by in the morning?”

“He won't—he’s lazy”. He grunts, one eye opening to glare at you in an annoyance that clearly says ‘Be quiet.’ He shuts his eyes again, his nose nudging you slightly. “Go turn off the light.”

“Alright, fine.”

Soon enough, just your memory of the layout of this room serves as your guide as your padded footsteps take you back underneath the covers. Getting comfortable is slightly harder when he is much taller and more muscular than you are, and even more so when he presses his nose into your shoulder properly now, cheeks squishing against your shirt. You’re practically almost off the couch, and you can guarantee you’ll be on the floor by morning, but you’re not really bothered at all today.

Then, as you whisper a soft “Night,” you realise he had fallen asleep first for once.

[whilereadingandwalking]

Heavenly Tyrant is the much-anticipated follow-up to Xiran Jay Zhao’s Iron Widow. It opens after Wu Zetian has raised the legendary king Qin Zheng and burned the government to the ground in a firey rage of revenge and purpose. Now, she’s facing the not-so-pleasant side of revolution, the part she never planned to be alive for: the part where another world actually needs to be built. Qin Zheng is a brutal anti-capitalist willing to raze all and any profiteers to the ground to raise the world he wants; Zetian unexpectedly finds herself recommending caution in the face of his unrelenting power—a power that threatens her life and autonomy at every turn. But even as they battle back and forth, a bigger threat exists. They’ll need to take down the gods themselves if they have any real hope of freeing their people.

Zetian is thrown out of the world of revenge and into a more difficult political realm than she was prepared for, and there’s no rest when even her sleep becomes a training ground for Qin Zheng to teach her new ways to fight, and the gods might be listening to every word said. Zetian’s actions are unsurprisingly often foolish, and her blindness is well-written, the reader often realizing what she seemingly can’t before she does. Qin Zheng is an infuriating, frustratingly hot tyrant who feels confident that his is the only word that matters. The two of them, in some ways, are perfect for each other: both willing to burn the world down if they deem it necessary, both put their personal idea of revolution first at all times, and they constantly spar or rage over the other’s choices, neither willing to let their guard down and risk losing.

The book’s great weakness, to no fault of Zhao, was that I didn’t get the memo that this series was going to have three books instead of two, and so the pacing felt all out of whack from what I felt was supposed to leave room for the entire conclusion of the novel. As a 2nd book, however, it was excellent, chunky, a realistic look at trying to build a new, more just world, and on the many people who drive such a world forward (and how their individual, more selfish goals can influence their actions for the worse). The twists are compelling and the emotions of anger, frustration, and repression, of spice and betrayal in turn, will twist through the reader as these two infuriating characters try to do the impossible. Can’t wait for book three!

Content warnings for violence, abuse, body horror, mass murder, reproductive coercion, suicidal ideation, toxic relationships, and mentions of sexual abuse, miscarriage, domestic abuse, and suicide.

[alexhatessupermarketcola]

I think Tom and Kyra's responses to the explosion then Alex being with Scorpia are very interesting and a great insight into their characters.

Tom acts all chill but you can tell he's very worried about Alex. Before Alex goes on the boat Tom is worried and doesn't quite know how to say it, isn't comfortable with outright saying it probably, but he tells Alex to take care 'I need you unmelted'. I think, probably after s1 at the school and everything that's happened before that Tom worries a lot about Alex. He is the most visibly worried before anything happens. Yet afterwards, he's the most calm of the two. Maybe he's already run through this exact situation in his head, more likely he's just less surprised because he feared it would happen. He is in shock still though, in complete and utter denial that it actually is the worst and in survival mode. Just because you fear something constantly, it doesn't make you any better at accepting it or dealing with it when it happens. He keeps saying it's fine everything's fine, lying to himself until the point where he lies there and says 'theyre going to kill him' and then again in the airport when he decides he cannot leave. At the end of the day, when the worst of his fears are realised, for all his preparation: he cannot believe it. And he is broken when he accepts it.

Kyra is relatively chill about Alex before the boat considering. She's probably worried but used to hiding her feelings and also in denial that everything will be fine, after all Alex is very skilled. (She's lost so much that she has to tell herself this). She's still worried though. She absolutely loses it with the explosion. I think she thinks that Tom is undereacting but I think maybe that Kyra had dealt with Alex's dealings with danger by denying that this would ever happen vs Tom who spent too much time worrying that it would. Kyra is also in shock but she can't hold it in, she freezes in this situation. She is freaking out and assumes the worst - after her parents, she probably is very used to assuming the worst. Except it's Alex and she can't lose him.

Before the worst Kyra has denial and Tom fears the worst, afterwards they swap.

Then with Scorpia stuff - Tom's been Alex's friend forever, he's been with him through thick and thin. He's concerned, terrified for Alex and what he might have done but ultimately, it's Alex and he can't have done these things, it's just not him. Tom hopes for the best, he can't believe anything different. At the end of the day, there is nothing to forgive when Alex returns. They are friends over anything, potential attempted murder can't touch it, Tom is just glad he's back.

Kyra however doesn't trust easily and I think is prone to depression and defeatism. When it seems that Alex has defected to the people who killed her parents, she is too hurt to do anything but assume the worst. And her way of dealing with things is running away. She decides it is best to cut her feelings off clean. I think it's actually very impressive that Kyra is how she is in s3, very close with Alex and opening up, happy. She's persuaded to stay in the end because she loves him and despite her immense feeling of betrayal, she cares enough to help him. Yet when he's back she cannot hide her hurt, cannot sweep what he's done under a rug. Hence the confrontation. But once everything is explained she is okay...so okay that she's mad he didn't actually kill Mrs Jones because at the end of the day she's ironically a lot more morally ambiguous than Alex 😂 Her frustration switches to that he is just too damn nice

I love how their relationships are so different and they show their love in such different ways yet they both love him to bits 🥺

[themysticmango23]

I haven't put any fanfiction here before, but I was looking through some old stuff and found the thing I wrote after secret life ended :D If people like it maybe I'll finish the second part idk

She’s dead, Scar.

You won.

Those words echoed through Scar’s head as he stood before the success button, preparing to hand in his task for the final time. As he stepped forward and reached his arm to the podium, he felt four hands guide his own.

The first was warm and comfortable, gently pulling him towards the win. This hand held his own knowingly, and Scar recalled the ring of cactus in which this hand had struck him down as they cried for each other so long ago. The hand squeezed his own, and Scar forgot the pain of the past momentarily.

The second hand was firm and respectful, pressed against his forearm. Scar could almost see this hand, glittering stars blinking in and out of existence. Scar remembered the mountain, the crystals, and the curse. The hand rubbed his arm calmly, the hand that rejected the curse, and Scar forgot the insatiable lust for violence that had so often plagued him.

The third hand was strong and determined, placed firmly just above the man’s elbow. This hand had sharp nails and a dangerous aura, yet radiated sadness. Scar pictured the phantom pains, the undying love, the betrayal. The hand patted his arm, reminding Scar that he need not rely on others for own personal success.

The fourth and final hand was proud. It rested on Scars shoulder confidently, and the scent of seawater mixed with blood forced Scar into the memories of the timer, his family, the rushed chaos, and the sounds of thunder echoing across the arena. The hand gripped Scar's shoulder, causing the man to relax slightly, and Scar let go of the need to be perfect, the need to be needed.

The Sun, The Stars, The Moon, and Mars pulled Scar’s hand forward until he pushed the button, the whispers filled his brain, they were louder than he was used to, and Scar shut his eyes tight. Spoken words of the past victors barely registered as the task scroll disintegrated into ash.

“Scar, I always knew you were a winner. I’ve known since the desert. I’m proud of what you’ve done here.”

“You and I both know this game is won through strength in body and in mind. You, my friend, have both, though others may not see it.”

“Look at what you’ve accomplished here, not what they did without you. You won all on your own, well done.”

“Congratulations, despite constantly being forced into villainy you still managed to cling onto your lives, becoming an amazing player in the process. You are more than enough.”

All sound faded into nothing as a new task materialized in front of Scar. He narrowed his eyes as it fell into his bloodied hands, and unfurled it. Three words were written on the parchment, and Scar felt his blood go cold.

Win Secret Life.

[newtsnaturethings]

Can we please have more info and lore for Trigun/Nausicaä AU? Am very interested with the story and the characters in this world setting.

Well good evening Anon I would LOVE to talk more about this AU.

I don’t want to reveal too much since I’m very much still working out a lot of lore and ideas, but I can give a summary of some of the ideas and characters. I have a LOT of little plot bunnies and comic ideas for this AU; they just take me a hot minute lol. And I’m not much of a writer so drawing it is!

So like. The ideas I had for this AU were entirely born from a world building standpoint; Gunsmoke and the Toxic Jungle are like. On the same spectrum of world building but on opposite ends, if that makes sense (harsh potentially toxic environment, post-apocalyptic human society, there’s massive fucking bug-adjacent things, etc). And I love world building and environmental storytelling so yeah let’s put these characters into this similar but also different setting.

Meryl is Nausicaä. She’s always trying to help people and understand toxic ecosystem. She tries to investigate the nature of the Toxic Jungle and the Insects (Zazie finds this VERY interesting).

Kuroneko is the fox-squirrel.

Vash is…a being of the toxic jungle somehow. I’m still workshopping how exactly this will is gonna play out. Vash has a whole inner conflict about how the Toxic Jungle is hurting people, but he also feels bad for the plants (vegetation plants AND capital P-Plants) and insects and stuff; he’s drawn to the fact that Meryl is trying to find a solution to this.

Wolfwood is the guy from Pejite. Hint hint betrayal later.

Milly is one of Meryl’s best friends from the Valley of the Wind.

Livio is Mito. Constantly worries about Meryl going into the Toxic Jungle.

Zazie: insects, hivemind, the works.

Chronica is Princess Kushana, but she may or may not exactly be calling all the shots. Chapel and Conrad run things over in Pejite.

Knives is here too. He’s pulling some strings and organizing conflicts for his ultimate goal: eradicating humanity. Vash is very much not cool with this.

The Plants are underground purifying the earth.

Plot wise: most of the story beats stay similar, with some added themes from Trigun sprinkled in. The big ol fire dudes in the movie: they’re a proxy for nukes yes, but also a warning about the mindset that one constantly needs to be preparing for war by acclimating bigger and more destructive weapons. And that doing so paired with the willingness to use those weapons pages the way for someone to shut out the suffering of others (be that animal, plant, etc). The fire dudes are even vaguely human shaped, but thier eyes are vacant and soulless, and that shows how beings can spiral down that route if they aren’t careful.

Vash and Knives both come from the bones of these guys, so they’re an offshoot of both the destructive capabilities of humanity (which manifests as those fire dudes) AND Toxic Jungle (which exists to heal the Earth from that trauma). Fun internal conflicts that they both react to in very normal ways 🙃.

Also it’s me so yes this AU will have vashmeryl in it SUE ME

That’s the basics of it for now. I have an entire Notes App page of snippets and ideas for this au and I’m always happy to talk about it. I have it under the tag: Trigun Nausicaä AU for organization.

Thanks for the ask 🦎

[heykrashly]

Alright this one broke my fandom rant retirement, I am constantly stunned at the intensity of the heat Suvi gets from the fanbase. All three characters have had major flaws exhibited and I REALLY don't think this TINY rant from Suvi in Retinue even counts as a flaw.

Laying aside what you think is justified or not, Suvi while still feeling the pangs of betrayal and confusion did not hesitate to find her way to the Conclave. She knew it would mean Ame's destruction, but not just that it was IMPORTANT to Ame. Still feeling that hurt she makes her way to the North Pole, borrowing resources from her home that is preparing for war (again, set aside what you personally believe to be "right" here). Ame stumbles over saying ANYTHING to Suvi, any hint of an apology or asking if things in the Citadel were okay after her exit. She prompts Suvi to say what's on her mind after divulging that she doesn't know what happened to Eursulon. What I think so many commenters seemed to forget is that Suvi and Ame do not have the knowledge we as listeners have that Eursulon is well, that he has met with his family. The two of them can only assume and not in either of their wildest guesses could imagine he had found his way to a burrow.

So Suvi, 36 hours travel from home, a home that she invited her friends to, they blew up, and one might be dead or captured, is prompted to say what's on her mind. She does, and it was in my opinion quite tame. If I see "ice queen" out of someone one more time I'm gonna explode fr. Her friend who she feels some level of responsibility for might be gone! Her friends who she cares for will BOTH likely not be able to visit her home again.

I know fans hold a lot of preconceived ideas about the Citadel and I'm not saying those are all entirely misplaced (I can't even BEGIN to get into those feelings here this post is long enough damn), but when those "ice queen" comments are flying around they aren't pointed at the Citadel. They are talking about a young woman who keeps sticking her neck out without much extended in the way of apology or remorse. It's really frustrating to see so much targeted vitriol.

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 9

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

NOTE: okay, I see where I'm going wrong--I guess I write chapters that are too long......... until the 11th chapter will continue to be a bit long but I plan to start writing less from the 11th onwards…..

TRAILER:

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes. GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution. Your body in exchange for paying off your debt. Do you accept?

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

FIRST CHAPTER:

ATTENTION: this and the next chapter will be pov heeseung, so from his first-person point of view, I hope not to cause confusion ~~

"What do you care what I saw?" I ask, seeing Amanda walking away.

Sunghoon also follows her with his gaze. "Because you made me curious."

"It's nothing."

"Then I will make her tell me."

I'd say it's time to end it, he always goes around her, yet we've been intime for so short a time that logically I should cultivate this friendship. 

The truth is that before now, us could not stand each other, we could not be more different but also constantly compared with each other, like trophies to show off or war over. 

Competition was inevitable.

However, especially after we both moved away from Jaeyun, we found a common enemy and that brought us closer.

I still don't know if I am comfortable with him, but certainly his sense of humor is interesting, I cannot deny that. Nevertheless, he seems to me far too full of himself, far too convinced that he knows everything about life, and also far too reserved about his family and his life.

We know about his relationship more because it was impossible not to notice, but in four years almost nothing has transpired.

Despite this, I wanted to give him a chance, but is what he does normal? If there was anything I was counting on, it was that he, the host girl, did not care.

Why is it so important, you ask? Simple matter of supremacy, I really mean it. After all, I don't even know her, and the conditions in which I met her are nothing short of terrible.

I am not interested in her, but I want her to be interested only in me. I think that's basically what everyone wants, except for Jay, who just giggles softly with Amanda's friend. Maybe he doesn't really care anymore.

"Just leave her alone now."

"Don't bust me ." Sunghoon replies, without thinking.

After all this time, how can he not think for a second to give me such an answer, to me, who am also older, for a girl he is not interested in? Inverosimilar. "Really?"

"You need to leave her alone, asshole." Ester gets up from her chair, which is smoking.

"What?" Sunghoon asks surprised.

"What does it look like to you? She has also suffered in her life, you don't need to bother her too. Why don't you go bother someone else?"

Sunghoon looks at her puzzled, then smiles nervously. "Do you know what your beloved Jay did with her?"

Ester throws herself at Sunghoon and looks as if she almost wants to attack him but Niki grabs her by the hips, easily lifting her up and preventing her from doing so. "Noona!"

"Put her down!" Beomgyu says, annoyed.

"Such manners." Comments the ice prince.

"I know everything about Amanda, you know absolutely nothing and you keep talking."

"Go apologize." I tell him.

"What?" He looks at me sincerely in disbelief.

"Yes, go apologize." Jay repeats.

Sunghoon looks at us angrily. "Are you kidding?"

"Are you a child? - Yeonjun asks. - You must have made her cry."

"You're the one who did." He snorts, slowly backing away not entirely convinced.

Well, I was the one who said he should do it, and he's doing it, so why don't I feel satisfied? It seems obvious to me that Sunghoon has a thing for her, so won't they simply end up being alone? Of course, I don't expect her to fall to him, after all, there were my posters and Jay's posters, and she has a soft spot for the latter, but she managed to reject me, so she'll reject Sunghoon too, right?

And if not? Aren't I objectively better than him? I treat her even better, so there is no way for her to fall in love with him, right?

Ever since she arrived, I've done nothing but observe her. She doesn't seem to have a strong character, but she still manages to stand up to people if she puts her mind to it, moreover, she also doesn't give me the impression that she is completely naive, even though the conditions she is in would say otherwise, likewise sometimes she has passionate and sincere looks like a child's.

However, it is no coincidence, in my opinion, that our host is a fan, let alone that she collaborated with Hybe, before coming to us. It cannot be a coincidence, and I have evidence in favor of this thesis: she is really beautiful.

She looks like a foreign model, she has exactly everything in place, and when we met her, despite her sloppy, unkempt air, we all could see how beautiful she was. In Hybe, to be an host, certainly needed such a figure, a fan would not hurt her band, maybe they play on that as well. However, I got the impression that they were already keeping eye on her.

"He finally went there." Beomgyu says, breaking the silence.

Niki smiles amused but also uneasy. "If they take so long, let's get them back."

"Are you taking care of her?" Amanda's friend asks.

I look at her. Why am I surprised? That's actually what a good friend would do as soon as has a chance, but why am I glad she has someone who cares about her? Hasn't too little time passed? What do I care? It won't be because Ester said she suffered a lot, right? I'm not that empathetic, seriously.

"Not enough." I say, but it is not what I had thought.

Yeonjun looks at me, then bursts out laughing. "How long have you been living here?"

"Three days." Niki laughs, too.

I seem to blush, but in the end I'm just annoyed. "Why?"

"I understand it makes your head spin, her body… is wow." He admits and annoys me further.

One thing is to divide her attention among my band members, it's another to what Yeonjun is talking about.

"Calm your spirits, you. I ask you to treat her well." The girl continues the speech, looking at me, for some reason. As if she were not courting and idolizing the asshole who had Amanda first.

"The problem is evidently Sunghoon." Comments Soobin concerned.

"In fact, I don't understand why they sent them alone together again." Responds the japanese boy.

Right, why did we do that?

"Again?" Yeonjun asks.

"Wait, you also have a host?" I ask surprised, connecting the dots.

Riki nods. "Indeed!"

Beomgyu chuckles. "No, what is it?"

"It could be me." Ester, who perhaps thought she was speaking italian, is perfectly heard commenting.

Jay glares at her. "What?"

"Nothing."

They are right, but why did I send him to her? I go to follow them but I hear Yeonjun laughing and honestly it's not that I'm that into him, today more than usual.

We used to be really close, but then he suddenly became detached from me, even though we were trainee together for years, even though we trained together, he simply get away.

I later learned from Minho of STRAY that Yeonjun was going around saying that Enhypen was really an experiment, but a really macabre one. Beautiful and empty, he would say. According to Yeonjun, especially me, I didn't even have a personality. I didn't hear him say that, so I can't accuse him, but why don't I find it so unlikely?

After all, he was the first one to walk away after the first world tour. I thought I had a special relationship, but apparently that wasn't the case, and the shame I felt in imagining such a pathetic thing makes me frustrated to the point that I can't stand it.

"What are you laughing at?" I ask him, even though he is older than me.

"You have changed so much, Heeseung-ah."

Everyone's eyes immediately shift to us, is he challenging me? And how should I act? There's a girl here anyway, I don't want to be rude just because of that. "You too, I miss you so much, hyung."

"Why doesn't it feel real?"

I'm just wasting time, right? I move my hair nervously behind my forehead and then smile amused.

"Are you finished?"

"You used to be much more educated. Who knows where you'd be now if you were with us."

Jay, seeing me suddenly and extremely vulnerable, despite the fact that we are still very distant affectively from each other, stands up, turning to Yeonjun. "I don't like what you're implying."

"Maybe I should have this talk in front of the girl he likes, a host to boot. It's funny, isn't it?"

Beomgyu holds back a laugh, Soobin wearily rolls his eyes, but is amused, unlike Taehyun who remains serious, albeit with his eyes downcast. "What about yours? You've kept her well hidden." I remind him.

"We know how to protect her." He replies, with a superior air.

He says we don't know how to protect her from Sunghoon? And is it so important to protect a guest? I am undeniably, terribly, pathetically attracted to her, but that is all. I should carry on a war for what? What good would that do?

"Suit yourself." I reply, this time me, feeling superior.

"Hyung, you're overreacting." Niki turns to Yeonjun, to whom Beomgyu puts a hand on his shoulder, as if to calm him down.

"See, I just find it funny. Do you guys put up with him? He's nobody and he's already acting like that."

But what's going on? Why can't I answer?

"To be compared today with you sumbaenim who debuted two years before us is a great honor and achievement." It reminds him of Jay, so impeccable when it comes to protecting his nest.

We may stop talking to each other, but I can never stop appreciating that about him. He never shows our internal rifts, never to anyone, or at least that's what it seems to me.

"You guys are good, but I mean, don't you give him too much space?" Yeonjun asks.

My Achilles heel, basically. "Yah! Won't you stop?" Soobin calls him back, realizing that the joke has gone on too long.

Jay seems on the verge of replying, but this time I'll do it myself. "You're so great, but you keep getting scared because of a nobody."

The perfect moment. Striking exit: we've got it. Now we just have to find those two. I check in my room but I didn't imagine they were there from the beginning, not even in Sunghoon's room and being that she has her things in Jay's, I try there and actually hear voices, for that, I don't open right away.

I open more slowly and quietly, seeing them both on the balcony with the door thankfully open. She is up, standing in front of him.

"Don't you get tired?"

"Ask me on your knees."

"What!" She raises her voice.

What an asshole. Do you want to see that I got there in time? I knew he was a creep after all, despite dating the most beautiful girl in Korea, not exactly my type but certainly remarkable, in the end he just wants to do the nasty stuff he wouldn't ask his girlfriend!

"If you kneel in front of me, I won't bother you anymore."

"Really?" What is she doing? Does she believe it, the dumb?

"Ninety percent."

"But what does that mean? You are the worst."

"If I said one hundred percent would you have done it?"

She doesn't answer right away, you can tell she's thinking about it, then coughs. "No."

So… are they simply joking? I'm annoyed as hell. 

He keeps being an asshole, bullying her, but she keeps forgiving him - do you want to see that in the ranking after Jay is him? What if he was even before Jay? That would mean I wouldn't be the first, and it's absurd just to think that, isn't it?

"Don't dress like that anymore." He tells her in a low, almost friendly voice, just as I had decided to go inside. I quickly close the door, leaving a crack in the door just enought to see that he has stuck a finger in the suspender of her little purple dress, exactly purple, because I asked her to.

"I don't care what you say."

"Look I'm saying this for your safety." He answers even more softly, but I can tell from his lips.

"Weren't you the one who would never sleep with me?" She teases him, as if he were simply a friend - are we kidding?

"In fact, I never will, but just because of that, I'll be meaner."

But how can he be so cool? I'm not interested in guys, I guess......... but if I were interested in guys, I'd probably be having an erection right now. That means you she definitely getting an erection! No, much worse!

The slit between her thighs may be wet, between her full, rosy-colored but olive-colored thighs, while that skirt so short makes it easy to imagine what's hiding under…. shit, now I almost have a boner for real.

"Are you done? Let's go over there." I call them back, sneaking into the room, I have to react before I get completely hard.

Sunghoon is annoyed but she's looking at him, why do I feel annoyed? "Are you following me everywhere?" He asks me.

"You were taking too long." I answer quickly, stunned.

Amanda now looks at me, surprised. "Are you okay?" She asks me, her tone is concerned but why am I mad at her?

"Why?"

"Are you… strange?" She asks, and I am even more irritated. 

I don't understand what she means or even care, I'm offended, disturbed. I just want Sunghoon to walk away and to shut the fuck up. I don't want to lose this competition, but inexplicably he is beating me to the punch with an absurd strategy.

No, I shouldn't be thinking like in a video game….

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"All right." She answers, looking distracted again.

She was focusing on me, why did I answer her so badly? "It's just…"

Sunghoon interrupts me, motioning for us to leave. "Let's go before Jay notices we're here."

Of course, now that I'm here you're in a hurry, right Sunghoon? That's okay, it's better after all, I don't have to worry about anything, in fact I'm not worrying about anything already.

I follow them to the kitchen, they are uncomfortable with each other, the one out of context is me, like a third wheel and this really bothers me. Also, it's not like I have all that much desire to spend time with the sumbae, especially Yeonjun, who will now purposely target Amanda.

I admit that I have not behaved as well in the past, as when I practically stole his chick. Jiwon from AESPA, we texted and saw each other a few times for quite some time, but she was also dated Yeonjun, so she ended up having to choose, and for some absurd reason she chose me.

I know he didn't really care about her (after all, she was too much for me as much as for him), but so also that losing to me must have infuriated him. At this point, believing that I like this girl, he will not waste his time bothering her as he has done so far.

"Are you all right, honey?" He asks her, as suspected, in a low voice.

Ester gets up to walk toward her friend. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, sure. I felt a little dizzy."

"That's why you shouldn't have smoked." Sighs Sunghoon.

"Is there any more? - Amanda then asks, looking around. Since Yeonjun seems to have prepared another one, she smilingly hands it to him. - Thank you oppa!"

We all freeze, except for the person directly concerned.

Did her just call him 'oppa'? Why was I giving her such a indignant look? She doesn't even notice anyway.

Beomgyu bursts out laughing, Niki and Soobin too. I'm not laughing, however, and it doesn't make me laugh. Clearly, Yeonjun is older than me and her, since we were born the same year, so while me being the oldest in my band will never be able to hear her call me that, he, a complete stranger….

What am I saying? I too am a stranger and she is a stranger to me. That's enough, Heeseung.

"You are really childish." Responds Sunghoon who seemed to expect a similar reaction.

"Mine is better, isn't it? - The older from the other band asks, looking at her in satisfaction. - I'm sure it's the best."

"I don't understand the quality at all, it looks the same to me." She admits.

Ester takes it out of her hands, bringing it to her mouth and taking a pull. "Let's see…. no, better Niki's."

"Yah! - mutters Yeonjun amicably, looking at her amused. - You make me look bad."

"I'm trying very hard indeed." She responds in kind, handing it back to Amanda and looking at him.

"And why is that?"

"You are worse than Sunghoon. I'll let only Taehyun be nice to Amanda."

The friend chokes. "What?"

"Why are you putting me in the middle?" Sunghoon snorts.

"Because that's how it is. Stay away from her, only Heeseung and Niki can be near her, and Taehyun."

"And Jay, and Jake." Sunghoon continues, unable to live a second without arguing with someone.

Ester doesn't seem like the type to let it go, but you can tell she is tried by it. He keeps repeating her and she is losing patience.

I'm irritated too, I keep imagining her without clothes together with Jay…together with Jake…enjoying, under their eyes.

"Why did you invite him? He's just annoying." Sighs Soobin.

"This is my fucking home." Sunghoon remembers.

Ester looks at Amanda, our host sighs wearily. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I will ignore him."

She says she hates him, can't stand him, and wants to ignore him, but when they are close, the tension between them seems about to explode, and that doesn't sit well with me.

"What are we going to do?" Jay changes the subject, with the calm expression of someone who can no longer stand this atmosphere.

"We should drink something better." Beomgyu replies.

"Heeseung-ah, why don't you bring something good to your hyung?" Yeonjun asks me with a smile.

That's not a bad idea; I could spit in his glass.

"Are you sure?"

"Now that you ask, not so much."

"Should we go to some clubs? There are girls there." Soobin proposes

"No way. No going out." Replies Jay.

After all, they should think about protecting themselves too. We don't go to any clubs for this, we only gather at intimate and safe parties, which are usually held in private villas. It's too dangerous, and Jay knows that.

Right now we, paradoxically, are more at risk than they are. We don't know what such a scandal would bring, and we've been through too much already, with Niki ending up in controversy I don't know how many more times, without even a real reason. He, has caught the attention of the newspapers from the beginning, probably because he is Japanese.

Although to this day my relationship with him is not idyllic either, he is still a kid compared to me, I feel like I have a duty to protect him from these situations. However, if we are talking about affection or blatant demonstrations, no, they are not for me, also because he is so arrogant. Since he has realized that he has the complete support, in spite of everything, from his fanbase, he has also realized that he is unstoppable and indispensable.

With or without us, his name already carries weight. Not that it doesn't for many of us as well, but how many of us possess his talents? Its completeness? And what would Enhypen be without him?

I know, we didn't make it easy for him. We were tough, when maybe we were just too angry and tired, there was no reason to make things harder for him -- but in a way, that's what we were all facing, a little bit at a time, like in a battle royal. 

And let's not talk about Jay, who has suffered and probably will continue to suffer. Jaeyun, and others, even myself, have been hurt in so many by sterile and nasty polemics. It was not easy for anyone at the end of the day.

Niki, however, was younger, more naive, more vulnerable, more foreign.

don't cry, please

Perhaps the one who came out almost completely unscathed is Sunghoon, the lucky one, as if he were from the beginning the main character. But not in this life, Sunghoon, you know. Amanda said one thing right: I was born to shine, and although there are many stars, there is always one brighter one: that one, I want be me.

As for Yeonjun, the goal now is to prevent me from getting in trouble in front of Amanda.

Yet I am still angry, envious, yes, I am.

I've been working hard for years, no, to be honest we all have, we work nonstop for months, there are periods when we can only go home to sleep, but despite all that, it seems to go nowhere. They scream for us but vote for others, and they might understand if we were just and simply beautiful, but we aren't.

Our music is good, our composers are the best, we are very good, but then why does no satisfaction come?

Hearing fans screaming my name or completely losing their voice even if I make a particular movement, that's good, but not fulfilling. The world tours, are you kidding me? I'm really glad for that, but what is it that I miss? I also want major collaborations, I too would like to be challenged, I could try writing songs on my own, without any ego-inflated asshole looking at me to tell me where I'm going wrong, treating me like a child.

I am not a child.

It may not seem true that I love music, because otherwise I might have chosen different paths. But it is also true that if singing gives me air to my lungs, it is only because of the people who listen to me that I can breathe. Therefore, the solution came by itself.

It must be said that in the last album they gave us more space, and I even produced a whole song, almost by myself. But this one ended up at the bottom of the album, where not everyone can see it. Maybe it's because I don't trust those who love me.

I was not free to write what I wanted to write. This was not the plan, from the beginning, this was not how I envisioned it.

It makes me smile to think that Amanda, like others, must also be like this. That's why she doesn't refuse anyone's attention, that's why she still seeks more.

I don't feel like giving the belly talk that would come naturally spewing out, because that would not be entirely honest of me, yet I keep thinking about it. 

I look at her, realizing that she's been watching me too, it seems for a while, while the others continue to talk and joke around, except for Sunghoon who keeps silent, between his thoughts and his phone.

However, when I asked what she likes about me…I didn't expect such a statement.

I mean, it was pretty intense. Fans never have the calmness to be able to say something like that, they're always too agitated or excited, overexcited, to be able to make accomplished speeches for more than a twenty seconds. And that's nice, and that's fine, however I simply didn't expect such praise, even though I already knew I was his favorite, shall we say?

It seems so idiotic to be fascinated by something like that.

But why does she keep staring at me with this thoughtful air, too? And why can't I look away from her eyes so big and full of lashes?

At first it was funny, curious, I admit. I didn't disdain the idea of being able to do some "intimate" chores at home, in comfort, in a safe area with a person under contract and therefore by law unable to create scandal.

Since I have no desire to end up in the storm, it was myself who chose not to date anyone for a while, after all, we were also busy and my previous relationship was not even that big of a deal.

However, spending time with her perhaps awakened my desire for female companionship. Living with all these guys, choosing not to see any girls so as not to undermine my growing and dizzying popularity, I kind of miss a girl's voice, a girl's laughter, annoy a girl, and then…

Keep looking at me, I do the same. If it's a game, I can't lose.

I missed a girl's shapes.

It seems nonsense for Lee Heeseung, so handsome, talented and excellent at anything, to feel such a desire, doesn't it? I could meet whoever I want, dare I say I could simultaneously fuck with full Aespas, if I really wanted to, however….

To be seen, to be heard, to be loved, is what I most ardently desire. The more people do this, the greater I feel and cannot avoid it. An ordinary person who counts for nothing loves in a different way... is devotion.

Am I imagining it? She seems worried about me. I make a threatening grimace that makes her flinch. How dare she turn such a kind expression on me? So thoughtful? As if she's worried about me, when all she does is walk around Sunghoon?

Or is he the one going around her?

Why do my thoughts always come back here?

"Stop!" I shout.

They all look at me, confused. "Hyung?" Niki asks.

I cough. "Let's have a karaoke."

"A… karaoke?" Amanda asks impressed.

Why did I imagine that? I will sing I need the light, as she asked, this afternoon. It's just fanservice.

"What are you, 14 years old?" Sunghoon asks me.

Beomgyu rises from his chair with his arms on his hips. "Let's do it!"

"Can we all agree to do exactly the opposite of what Sunghoon wants?" Soobin also asks, getting up, realizing we're going to the living room.

"Yes." They all answer in chorus, following Yeonjun who goes first, who did not comment on my proposal, strangely enough.

"Sunoo and Jungwon are coming back." Jay warns me, passing last, accompanied by Ester who literally wags her tail behind him.

As usual, Sunghoon is always around Amanda and I cannot talk to her alone. "Are you happy?" He asks me.

I nod annoyed. "Why not."

Amanda looks at me again, finally focusing on me. It's the time, really. I catch her by the arm as Sunghoon moves forward, he seeming to not notice that she has disappeared or he would surely have followed her, wouldn't he? I still don't understand it very well.

"Why were you staring at me?" I ask her, but honestly no, that's not what I meant.

"Are you okay?" She asks, and that's exactly what I wanted to ask her!

"I'm fine. - I nod a little theatrically, although I don't even know why she's asking. - How about you?"

"My night was ruined." She admits.

What is this sad expression? Why is she so sad? I turn away from her, I don't understand what's happening to me, it's as if I feel pity and I'm not used to something like that. I feel sad for her, maybe?

"W-Why?" But what do I do? Do I even stutter?

"Now everyone knows that I am a host. They won't treat me like a normal person anymore." She explains, smiling defeatedly.

She especially cared about looking like a normal person, huh? But… I saw her today, she seemed pretty normal… I treated her normal, right?

Or did I just go too far by invading her privacy and literally forcing her to say what I wanted because I was blackmailing her?

"I will treat you normally, even if it's just me."

Amanda still smiles, you can tell it is not out of contentment that she does so. "I am a host, this is the normal way for you. Do you understand?"

"Then I will do it from now. I will… - I lower my voice, looking into her eyes - I will do it better."

She looks at me impressed, seems surprised, maybe she didn't think I was serious. "Why are you gentle with me?"

Right, why do I do that? I get nervous, backing away again when I hear Sunghoon approaching, I was right, he's the one on her. He pretends to have forgotten the water bottle on the kitchen counter, pretends not to look at us, how stupid.

"Do you have the karaoke?"

"No, it's in Jungwon's room." I reply.

"Then go get it, since you're the one who had the brilliant idea."

"You're a singer, how can you hate karaoke?"

Amanda giggles at my joke, Sunghoon clicks his tongue annoyed. "I don't like doing it with them. Maybe not even with you."

"Very mature, indeed." I say, placing a hand behind Amanda's back to let her proceed down the hallway alone. I almost throw her but apologize as I see her swerve. How cute.

I want to talk to him alone.

"Dumb, you're hurting her!" Sunghoon tells me, betraying himself.

NEXT CHAPTER:

[blackjackkent]

All right. Time to go kill Ketheric Thorm.

Narrator: No longer a background murmur, the presence in your mind builds to a roar.

"We've found it," whispers the guardian in Rakha's mind. "The Absolute is behind this door."

Rakha can barely hear her. The voice of the Absolute has been rumbling ever louder in her head as they have descended through the illithid colony, and now it is so loud it almost blocks out everything else.

The tadpole writhes and squirms eagerly in her temple, harmonizing with that overwhelming voice. And in dissonant counterpoint, the beast urge in the back of her mind growls - with equal eagerness but more malice, wanting to push forward, find Thorm, find the brain, find all of it and rip and tear and destroy. Beneath all of it is the new knowledge of some forgotten betrayal here, the knife in her back that destroyed her and broke her mind - the need for answers and the fear of what they might be when found.

Rakha's head aches with these opposing forces, so badly that it feels like her skull might split apart.

Enter.

She lays a hand against the undulating flesh of the final door and feels it give way for her.

-----

Another fleshy corridor. More ooze sticking to the soles of her boots.

This one, though, opens to an enormous cavern beyond, glowing with the sickly green light of the brining pool that covers the ground. A raised, ringed platform stands at the center, on which three figures are gathered and speaking in sharp voices. Another figure kneels with his head bowed nearby, unmoving.

"You said it was under control." The figure at the center is the first voice Rakha catches. A human with a shaggy mop of dark hair, an elaborate, long black coat, and golden bracers that stretch down over the knuckles of both hands.

"It isn't you I answer to, Gortash." That voice Rakha already knows. Ketheric. The General has healed some of the wounds she and her companions gave him, but not all - he looks battered and worn, veins standing out sharply in the lines of his face.

The human - Gortash - laughs mockingly. "Oh, the *General* voice," he sneers. "Is this where we salute?"

"Salute, yes--" the third figure speaks up. "With cleavers through his blood-starved flesh. how it crawls with failure like flies on lick-wet carrion..."

Rakha goes still and her eyes go wide. That voice... she knows that voice. She doesn't know why.

The woman is of no race Rakha can identify. Her skin is a pale, sickly grey, and even at this distance Rakha can see that it is moving, with constantly shifting patterns like ink on the surface of water. The armor she wears has the sheen of fresh meat rather than metal. Her eyes are blank white orbs and her smile is wide with madness.

"You forget yourself, Orin," Ketheric snarls at her. "I have played my part.

Gortash rolls his eyes, unimpressed. "You've built an army for our masters, true enough. But what of the Astral Prism? A rogue True Soul, flaunting it under your nose all this time. And you ran from her!"

"Sure that they would follow and deliver it into my hands here," Ketheric snaps. "If you would cease these distractions--"

"The distractions have been *yours*, Ketheric!" exclaims Gortash with a dismissive shake of his head. His lip curls. "Perhaps we should never have dug your daughter up..."

Ketheric boils forward like lightning, one gauntleted fist lifting, ready to smash into Gortash's face-- and just as quick, the strange woman in red is moving to meet him, a long curved dagger settling with its point at his throat.

Gortash smiles, having not moved a muscle. "So you haven't lost your edge... but you're still not as sharp as Orin is, I wager..." He laughs - a high, cold sound. "The slayer against the undying one. That would be fun to see."

"His cryptbreath sings to my sinews..." the woman purrs, that mad smile splitting her face like a blade wound. "Again. Again. Againagainagain--" She draws back, drops the knife to her side. "But he must lead the murdermarch to Baldur's Grave..."

Rakha struggles to breathe. The pain in her head has been redoubling on itself, so intense that she can barely see. She desperately needs to think, to parse this situation as she always does, see the facts of it, determine how to strike, what to do--

But every syllable of that woman's voice makes her head throb like that jagged knife has been sunk into it.

"Orin and I can wait for you no longer," Gortash says curtly. "The plan proceeds. We're going to the city, and we expect you to follow - army and the weapon in tow."

Without waiting for a response, he turns away and walks to the far end of the platform, looking out at the roiling water of the brining pool. He raises one fist, and the gemstone lodged in one of his bracers glows with a sudden violet light.

"The edict of Bane!" he bellows.

"The lash of Bhaal!" cries Orin, lifting her dagger; the gem set into it glows as well, blood-red.

Again Rakha's head spasms with pain. Deep in the water, something begins to move, the rolling movement turning to a boil. And through the slits of her eyes squeezed almost shut, Rakha can see the lines of magical energy snaking through the Weave, down into the green liquid, calling something... up...

The thing bursts from the water on the heels of the thought. An enormous ridged pink mass crowned in a ring of spiked metal embedded into its very flesh. Tentacles like those Rakha saw in the walls thrash around it, sending splashes of water across the platform. It writhes and strains against the tendrils of magic coming from Gortash and Orin; whatever they are doing, it is dragging this thing along the path of their choosing by force.

For a moment, Ketheric watches as they struggle with it. Then he steps between them and spreads his arms as a last burst of light - this time pale pink - erupts from the gem embedded in his armor.

"The testament of Myrkul!" he shouts.

A third tendril of magic surges through the Weave and sinks into the enormous creature's flesh, binding it like rope. It goes still and calm, hanging quiescent just above the surface of the water.

"An elder brain..." says the guardian in Rakha's head. Her presence, normally a balm against Rakha's internal turmoil, does nothing to ease the pain throbbing in her temples. "One of the cruelest and most powerful creatures in existence, enslaved by mere mortals..."

"There we are," Gortash says, sounding satisfied. "It wouldn't do to fight in front of our guest." He turns and takes a few quick steps across the platform, back towards the last figure kneeling there. "Behold, Duke Ravengard - the Absolute!"

Rakha's blood runs cold as a realization punctures through the haze of pain. The kneeling man is Ravengard. Wyll's father.

"Helm preserve us..." the Duke rasps, almost too low to hear.

Orin crouches at his side, grabbing him by the shoulders, holding him still. "You wag your wordflap in vain, Ulderling," she croons. "Once the worm holds the whip, your shredded flesh will serve us."

"Shit - no! Father!" Wyll hisses at Rakha's side... but it's too late. They watch, horrified, as the worm slides down one of the brain's tentacles and into Ravengard's eye. His scream pierces the air around the platform.

Wyll's anguish joins the other terrible wrenching pains in Rakha's head.

"Now," Gortash says briskly to Ketheric as Ravengard slumps forward. "It's really time we were going. We will empty this place and begin the march. You may catch up with the army once you've retrieved the weapon."

He moves next to Orin, standing behind Ravengard's trembling form. "And Ketheric," he adds, with a note of something like playfulness in his voice. "Do try not to sulk. You're supposed to be the fearsome general, come to conquer the city." His lips curl in a wide, self-satisfied smirk. "And I am the hero who will save it."

They vanish - Gortash, Orin, Ravengard, and the brain itself - in the burst of black smoke that Rakha has seen before. Illithid teleportation. Ketheric remains on the platform, his head bowed and his expression grim.

Rakha lets out a soft, involuntary whimper of relief. The brain is gone, and the presence of the Absolute weakens with the sudden distance. But instead of its pulsing roar in her head, she can feel its words resonating down with greater clarity, somewhere far above them where the cult's army waits.

"IT IS TIME, FAITHFUL ONES. MARCH ON BALDUR'S GATE. WE GO TO PREPARE THE WAY."

[goodnightwish-s]

Azriel Design #4

Finally, the final design of the eight vessels, Azriel Manusdei :)

As a patriarch and Romanian man, Azriel's design takes inspiration from both cultures. This is mainly and only shown through his clothing, his armour upon his arm is a part of a full set he only wears in battle, which he hasn't for thousands of years. He wears many pieces of jewellery, each of gold, that making the halo that hovers behind his head seem part of his simple outfit, like a crown of sorts. That halo is in fact a physical piece of light transformed into gold created by the Goddess of Light. Each of the first 3 Vessels were born with something different to the other 5, Shadow with their hands/arms, Light with the light halo, and Alteration with the pure ability to change.

Azriel appears angelic, like a being of light itself gifted to the people from the heavens. Which is basically true. First creation of the Goddess of Light, one of three human like beings to walk across soil and sand. Azriel is ancient, praised and worshipped for his leadership. He seems like the typical religious symbol of his people, but in truth, he's quite mentally troubled. A victim to religious psychosis, Azriel used to hear the voice of his God quite often, but due to her ever-growing boredom of humanity and her disappearance from the railing of her abode, Azriel no longer hears her voice, but in fact hallucinates them. Hearing a voice that isn't actually there, one he constantly imagines telling him how to do his job as a Patriarch, this includes killing his own high ranked church members in the name of his God, and those who witness either agree truthfully or die disagreeing.

His appearance is deceiving, not only to others, but even himself. Azriel actually whole heartedly believes what he does is good. It could be viewed as good, his church is actually very well functioning, but due to his own actions, the behind the scenes isn't all too lawful.

Azriel bears scars mainly from his early years, mainly around the first 10 thousand years (yes he's seriously old), where battle was more common. Most are typical scars, battle, war, sparring, exploration. Yet, upon his back lies a permanent reminder of the betrayal he committed close to he, and his two siblings, early 5000s. This was one of the first times his Goddess had manipulated his actions, and though she no longer lead him down that path, he was permanently affected like a traumatised child. His behaviour unchanging. This stab wound right below his upper back symbol comes from Melva, stabbing him in the back so he will never forget how he did the same to her, figuratively.

if you skip all the reading just read this :)

oh my god im finally finished its finally OVER. I'm super proud of how all 8 had turned out :) I might redo Delaney though since she was kinda the prototype and you can see the lower quality in the lineart BUT IM FREE.

now this month is the last month that... I'm a minor *BOOOOO* anyway ill be preparing to start commissions throughout this month by attempting to draw semi daily!! meaning I might open an ask page or maybe just a strawpage so if anyone has any questions on my characters feel free to ask!!

[w0efulboopsoul]

Question about Stratus's brother:

Why is he so hard on Stratus?

Question about Stratus:

Why is she traveling so much? Like what is her end goal?

🤔

Getting to the bottom of these questions requires diving deeper into the Silvaton family and the blood feud that developed the night Gordon introduced a young woman he had fallen in love with named Miria Hartwright to the entire family.

Although she was human, her inclusion in the Silvaton family was warm. However, the son of the Oldest Aunt in the Silvaton family was slain by hunters who turned out to be Miria's own family, coming to collect their human daughter, cutting short the 'happy times'. Miria herself became a target to the rest of the Silvaton's causing Gordon and his parents to defend her forcing the family to split into two factions. Taking Miria to safety Gordon and his father have a heated discussion with the young brunette and explain to her that Gordon and she must part ways. For her own good, or the family would kill her. She reluctantly agrees and together she and Gordon visit a young witch named Mayleen who erases her memories of Gordon and the short time they had spent together.

He later learns that Miria is married to a young man named Johnathan Davis however, their lives are cut short as two of his cousins manage to kill the newlyweds and leaving three little girls behind. He has little time to mourn, however, as the Hartwright family retaliates by killing his mother and father. Leaving Gordon to raise his younger sister on his own.

See Gordon's thing with Stratus is simple:

He made his mistakes and has seen the consequences of what they brought. He doesn't Stratus to suffer the same fates as Miria, their parents, and his Aunt.

In his eyes he's not being hard on her, he is protecting her and preparing her for a cold and cruel world. He had three major roles to fill when the two lost their parents, Brother, Father, and Mother. To him, he did the best he could with what tools and cards were dealt to him. He would do anything for Stratus, even if it meant providing a little 'tough' love. He never considered his actions toward his sister to be too harsh nor what she would do in the future, as his fear of what would happen far outweighed his judgment. After all, she was all he had left.

(It can be a touchy subject for the big guy. Just pat his back with a broom he will live.)

This is why he is so shaken when Stratus defends Rebecca against his vicious bite and receives the wound herself before shoving him back. They both know exactly what her actions meant between the two siblings.

She had betrayed him.

"Stratus, they were once human...

Interacting with anything human is FORBIDDEN!"

(..... *Coughs*)

Stratus's View and Why She Travels:

To understand why Stratus is constantly traveling before meeting the girls, let's have a look at how she views Gordon's treatment and the weight of her betrayal toward her brother for said girls. Although understanding to an extent, she can't help but feel oppressed and still holds a deep resentment toward him for killing Jason. She can't help but feel she never lived the life she wanted, just the one he made for her. She never had a childhood, friends, etc. She lived in total isolation with Gordon being his bait or catching her own bodies. Eventually, she just got bored, tired, and restless of it all. So, she went for a walk. A long walk. As to why she does this? To harden herself. She's got goals and doesn't want anything to get in the way of them.

As for her end goal, to say she has ambitions would be an understatement. She gained her freedom at the price of being marked and scarred as a traitor. Her goals are set in stone for her and they include the other half of the Silvaton family. She's out for blood and blames them for everything that has happened to her and her brother. She's making her own pack, and she's coming for the head of the Silvaton family, quite literally her head. Once she has it rolling on the floor she plans to take the head of the family herself so her word is law. She won't stop at just one head either. She's taken many lives human and non-human, and she won't have mercy on the other Silvatons.

[marierg]

Of Light and Darkness: The Rising Darkness Pt.3

Pairing: Obi Wan Kenobi X Reader

WARNINGS!: IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED DO NOT READ THIS ONE!!!!! ANGST! Death, Rage, self doubt, betrayal, portrayals of a psychotic episode! NOT LIGHT READING!!! Also Jango being a lil bit of a tease at the end, stolen kiss but not much more. (@pickleprickle come get yo juice)

A/N: Ok my friends so if you know this story then you know what part we're at. Yes I'm putting Anakin's part on Tattoine in here because it is important, but also I felt that the movie didn't really do enough for that part. I ADORE Hayden and his portrayal, so much body and facial expression to cover the things not said! And yes I also wanted to do just a bit more with Jango because we don't get much of him here to reflect all the lore that comes later. This splits back and forth a lot so I apologize now.

PS- as always if Italic that means telepathic communication.

Picture Credit: Lucasfilm, Pinterest, and Gifs from Tumblr

Song Credit: I won't back down by: Tom Petty (Link)

Words: 6400 ish.... Thick with 2 C's

Masterlist Next

Anakin stood on the balcony overlooking the lake. Listening to the waives crash on the rocks, the birds that flew over head, even the current below the surface of the water seeking the calm of nature. Padme was moving towards him, but even her presence could not quell the pit in his stomach. Horrible visions haunted his mind of his mother sobbing, bloodied and in pain... begging for help that would not come. He knew what must be done, in so doing he would be abandoning both Padme and the mandates of the Order.

But for his mother it was the only thing to do.

Padme's mind and heart were in conflict, they always were where Anakin was concerned. Staring out at him she observed the man and again tried to deny that he had found a place within her heart. Padme's mind constantly clamored against this feeling over and over, begging her to come to reason. Yet when Ani smiled or laughed or even laid the lightest of touches on her... all protest flew out the window. She had hoped that after dinner last night that both of them could move forward as friends, yet even as he stood there she felt that all too familiar pull and who could fight the stars.

Anakin could smell Padme's floral perfume on the air, hear the scrape of her slippers against the marble with every step she took toward him. He knew that he had to be professional, especially after their discussion. She had made clear that the two of them could not be together, that what he longed for was impossible. Anakin had taken his shot, he had been honest and now he knew how she felt. What his Master had failed to tell him was what to do afterward.

“Don't go...” It was a soft request, pain underlying his need for her presence. Anakin opened his eyes to take in the beautiful sunrise... made all the more so by the woman who would forever hold his affections even if it was unrequited.

“I didn't want to disturb you.” Padme was preparing to walk away, but couldn't leave him now.

“Your presence is soothing.”

“You had another nightmare” She sighed as Anakin began to bristle, “I heard you yelling, would you like to talk about it?”

Why did he trust her so readily even though she had shredded his heart not hours before? Anakin sighed in resignation, telling Padme of his awful vision. “She's in pain... I have to help her.”

Padme folded her hands in contemplation. There was no doubt that Anakin had already made a decision, she simply needed to allow him to voice it. Nodding to show she was listening he continued.

“I know that I am disobeying my mandate to protect you Senator...”

Padme winced a little at the use of her title, but reflected that she had set that precedent.

“... and that I will be punished and likely thrown out of the Order. But she's my mother.” Anakin finally raised his eyes to the angel of the stars. She wasn't like the other women he knew, no sarcastic eyebrow or disapproval to mar her beauty, simply serene. “I'm sorry Padme truly, but I must go.”

Padme moved forward taking Anakin's hand. “Ani I told you that I wouldn't let you throwaway your future because of me. I will go with you so that you will not be breaking your mandate.”

“What about Master Obi Wan and Master Y/n?”

Padme squeezed his hand, “I guess we won't tell them will we.”

_____________

“Stargazer to Harbor... Stargazer to Harbor... Come in Harbor?”

Mace acknowledged the transmission, a small holo projection of you and Kenobi appearing before the gathered Jedi Council members. “We read you stargazer, report?”

“Masters we have tracked the Bounty Hunter Jango Fett to the planet Geonosis. More disturbing is that there is a large gathering of Starships from the Trade Federation.” Obi Wan was glancing from port to starboard on the craft.

You piped in while your fellow knight navigated, “Yeah and gave us a good run for our money too.”

“Are you both alright?” Mace could feel the tension rising in his chest. It would never matter how old his apprentice became, you would always be under his protection.

“A few shots across the bow, but Obi Wan got us through.”

Obi Wan tuned, “Masters I fear that our investigation has become all the more complicated. With your permission we would like route out the connection the Trade Federation has to Fett and the clones of Kamino.”

He hated the exhausted edge that laced the voices of both knights. Looking to his colleagues he felt concern and perhaps even a touch of fear. The Republic that had been hard fought and won over a millennia ago was upon the brink disaster. Mace would rather call you both back and regroup, he would rather send out a group of the Council themselves to finish this investigation. At the end of the day though he was the head of the Council and must do what was necessary, his personal feelings be damned. “Proceed with caution, may the Force be with you.”

________________

“She's been gone a month... There's little hope that she's lasted this long.”

The words rang in Anakin's ears as he practically flew the borrowed speeder past breaking point. He'd gotten a lead on the Tusken raiders and the closer he got the more he could feel his mother in the Force. “I'm coming mom, just hold on.”

He would rescue her.

He would not leave her behind again.

_______________

The winding catacombs and tall spires allowed every small noise to echo without fail. Every footstep, every swish of a cloak seemed like the clanging of pans in a library. Your nerves were strung tight, hands reflexively holding your saber hilt. As the two of you wound deeper and deeper into the structure you saw more than enough evidence of why the Trade Federation was here. Line upon assembly line of droids filled the lower levels. Up ahead voices reverberated in the corridor, Obi Boy pulled you back to the safety of the shadows. “Obi what are they saying I can't hear it?”

“It would appear that Nute Gunray and whoever is contracting with the Geonosians is the one who put out the contract on our friend the Senator.” Obi Wan glanced down at the scaring around your right ear, yet another mission souvenir along with the associated hearing loss normally you were able to compensate, the fact that you weren't went to show your level of exhaustion. “I think we'd best go up top.”

“Did you see who?”

“Not yet, but I could hear them.”

Obi Wan could feel the blood lust radiating from Nute Gunray as he spoke about where he would like best to display Senator Amidala's head in his office. As the two Knights crept to an overhanging ledge the conversation became clearer. Representatives of the Banking Clan and Techno Union were sat at a large table and at the head sat none other than Master Dooku. While Obi Wan was shocked he could feel disgust and anger from you, pebbles were clattering from the ripples you sent through the Force, “Wee one we need to remain calm. Focus.”

“That karking traitor!”

Dooku watched with mild amusement as the various beings at the table squabbled and bantered, all pawns on his game board. Long ago he learned that a bit of theater and patience make the negotiation. Dooku also knew that most of the beings gathered here did so for the benefit of their own pockets and not some true disillusionment with the government. Behind him Fett was standing alert if not somewhat perturbed, a deep sigh passing the vocorder of his helmet. Waiving a hand Dooku cut into the bickering, “AS I said earlier gentlemen, I am convinced that 10,000 more systems will rally to our cause with your support.”

“We need to report in.”

Obi Wan raised a finger, begging you be patient, “Not yet, there's more to be heard I believe, we will be patient.”

“Not my strong suit.”

“...The Banking Clan will sign your treaty.”

Dooku smiled, nodding a show of appreciation. “When the battle droids of our friends with the Trade Federation are combined with yours we shall have an army greater than any in the galaxy. The Jedi will be overwhelmed.”

As the meeting came to a close Dooku turned to the hunter behind him. “I believe some acquaintances of yours have arrived. Please see our new guests to more... suitable accommodations.”

“I doubt that they'll accept your hospitality.”

He smiled at the man's dry humor. Fett was good, very good in fact, with more than a few Jedi kills under his belt in addition to his lengthy reputation. These two knights were quite the wily pair, but he had little doubt that the hunter could handle the task. The information that he had brought back alone was worth observing the two further. All was playing out as he had foreseen and soon the trap would be baited, “Wait until they have transmitted their report to Coruscant then bring them to me, alive please.”

Fett tilted his helmet, annoyance rippled around him. He was an intelligent being though and knew better than to disobey. After all, Fett would never want his precious son to come to harm. Turning on his heel the hunter paused before stalking into the catacombs.

“As you wish.”

________________

Anakin moved through the hole into the Tusken shelter and his heart stopped beating. His mother hung limply from the poles that had been used to secure her for the night. Bruising, lacerations... far too many injuries to count as he angrily tore at the bindings, she was still alive though. Carefully he lowered her frail, pained body to the ground.

Anakin wanted to cry, choking on his words, “Mom... Mom it's me.”

“Ani?” Shmi tried to blink, as if searching in the dead of space for something familiar. Her trembling hand finally landing on a warm cheek, smile spreading as her son pressed his own hand to hers. “Ani is it you?”

He longed to crush her to him, but Anakin could feel the pain radiating from her. He could barely breath from being so overwhelmed, lips trembling as he pressed a tender kiss to her palm. “I'm here mom, I'm here. Everything will be alright now.”

“My son... my grown up son.” Wistful smile tugging weakly at her lips, how Shmi wished this had happened differently. Oh but he had grown up so well, the Jedi had done as promised and taken such good care of him.

“Hold on a little longer mom,” Anakin shifted to begin standing but froze as his mother gasped in pain, “Please... please mom, just stay with me.”

“So handsome...My boy is grown, now I am complete.”

Anakin could feel the flickering in her signature, like a candle caught in a storm. No no no, he had to save her! What good was being a Jedi if he couldn't save his mother. He tried to calm himself, readying again to get up and take his mom away from this place. “Just stay with me a little longer mom, I'm going to make you well again. Padme's here, we'll take you to Naboo, it's so beautiful mom. I'll call Master y/n and she'll make everything better.”

“Ah, my son... I'm so... proud of you...tell me more,” Shmi knew she was dying, but at last she felt peace. She knew her passing would pain her son greatly, but maybe she could distract him for just a bit and slip away quietly.

Anakin cursed that he couldn't simply heal his mother like his Master could. Why hadn't he pushed himself harder to learn, why hadn't you?! Why did his Masters hold him back?! He wanted to scream, to rage but his mom needed him, he had to give her something to fight for. “It's so beautiful mom, green and full of lakes and streams. There's so many things I want to show you... we can all go mom.”

“Ani... I love... I love... you.” Shmi Skywalker slipped away peacefully in her son's arms, the wisp of a lake and Anakin's smile her final vision of comfort.

“Mom don't go, please.... please....” He felt the minute that her signature rejoined the greater Force itself. Like a genie in a bottle that could not be put back, Anakin clutched the mortal remains of his mother to him.

Cold despair washed over Anakin and into his heart. He had failed her... he had failed his mother, the one who had brought him into the world and protected him for nine long years. How often had she gone without to provide for him, shielded him. All that he ever knew of love was from this one woman and he had let her slip right through his fingers. How could she be gone? How could the galaxy allow her to die?

Then the cold was replaced by something so seductively warm and comforting. It's treacherous feeling taking the place of the emptiness that filled him. It whispered falsehood disguised as words of solace, at least he felt something in the gaping bleeding hole in his chest. No, it wasn't his fault. Anakin had done his best, it was the Tuskens that had killed his mother. The Tuskins had captured her, beaten her, starved and worked her to death.

They were animals

They weren't even humanoid

They were mindless monsters like his step father had said

AND HE WOULD MAKE THEM PAY FOR WHAT THEY HAD DONE!

Anakin placed his mother's body down on the floor gently, removing his cloak to cover her. He may not have been able to save her, but he could avenge her memory and see that these beasts harmed no one else. Rising with his fury to keep him warm, Anakin clutched at the handle of his saber. He felt the Force surge through him and it felt so good in the midst of his despair. He no longer felt powerless, he felt in control. Walking out of the hut he sliced down the guards quickly without a flinch. Hearing the other warriors coming to fight Anakin welcomed it.

Today... today his mother would have justice for all of her suffering.

In the words of his dear friend, for the ones he loved he would to do terrible things.

And just as Glitch had also said, he would never forgive himself.

____________

You were trying to keep up with Obi Wan as he ran ahead of you. This intel needed to get back to the Council and the Senate quickly to avert disaster, damn your short legs. As the two of you approached the starfighter a scream was ripped from your chest, crumpling your body to the ground.

“Y/N!” Obi Wan turned on a pin sprinting back to your collapsed convulsing form. He held you to his chest to try to muffle your cries of agony, reaching for you through your bond. “Y/n, what is it wee one? Talk to me please?”

Obi Boy's voice sounded distant even in your mind, his normally soothing presence could not ease this jagged pain in your heart. Nor could it silence the voice crying out from beyond the grave. You must be going mad, finally snapped from too much stress and stims. But there was no denying who that voice belonged to....

“Y/n what is it?” Obi Wan took a sharp inhale as your eyes flew wild and wide, panicked breaths finally starting to slow. He tried to brush the tears forming at the corners of your eyes. “Y/n it's alright, I have you.”

“P-p-pain... Anakin...He's in pain.”

“Y/n you need to breath with me, calm yourself. We'll go to him straight away, but first I need you with me.” He saw as your pained face nodded, breathing starting to even. You were scared and that frightened him knowing it took a lot to shake you. But he also knew you well enough to redirect your racing thoughts, “We know that the transmitter won't get out of the canyon, can you climb with the booster to that cliff ledge so I can relay?”

“I can do that. Yeah, I can climb.” Scrambling up you could still feel the recoil and pain in the Force, but Obi Boy was right. As badly as you wanted to get in the fighter and get to your Padawan there were more pressing matters at hand. The needs of the many verses the needs of the few and in the end you knew your obligation was to the greater number. It was the simple and terrible math of triage, there were always more whom needed your help. Sweet merciful Maker forgive you... Anakin forgive you... but it had to be done. Checking the horizon you steadied the booster.

“R-4 relay this message to Coruscant, top priority and continue relay until acknowledged,” Obi Wan watched as you gave the thumbs up. R-4 however still was unable to boost the signal enough due to the damage. “Try to reach Anakin on Naboo...What do you mean he's not there?”

On the ledge above, you could only partly make out what was being shouted at the poor little astromech, but then you heard the word Tattoine clearly enough. “Obi what's happened?”

“The boy has decided to go for a joy ride it would appear... we'll deal with this later.” Instructing the droid to start Obi Wan began his message, “Anakin if you can hear me re transmit this message to the Council....”

_______________

Mace had been uneasy since Yoda had come out of seclusion, stating that one of their fallen had somehow reached out through the Force and that Skywalker was in anguish. He could feel a shift, something turning in the lines of fate... a shaterpoint was about to be crossed. The garbled transition from Kenobi gave no clue to your fate but he could only assume that you were taken prisoner alongside your fellow Jedi. Already there were members of the Order rallying and ready to leave, along with some old friends.

Listening to the Senate finally approve the use of the clone army, however suspect their origins, Mace turned to his Senior Council member. “It is done but the army will need time to assemble. I will take what knights we have here and lead the mission to Geonosis.”

“To Kamino will I go, bring this new army to meet you I will. Trust in our knights, trust in the Force. proof of these troops metal, we shall see.” Yoda studied the eyes of the man before him, stormy and hard as a mountain in winter. While many found Master Windu to be hard and unyielding, few realized the reason for it. It was not that he did not care... no, it was that he cared deeply. Always standing tall between the Order and what storms may come, but even a mountain would weep if it's larks were no longer there to sing their songs. “Master Windu save our captured knights, we will.”

Mace clenched his jaw, knowing that the future was uncertain for all. Nodding and with a sweep of his cloak he made his way down to the speeder where two old friends waited. On a mission like this the Jedi could use all the help they could get. Turning to the old pilot and the pink haired hell fighter, Mace took a steadying breath and prayed the Force that you still breathed.

“We're going to get them back."

______________

“They'll never make it in time, they have to come halfway across the galaxy. We're only a parsec away...”

“If they're still alive,” Anakin sat heavily in the co pilot's chair, folding his arms if only to hold himself together. First his mother now his Masters, what did the universe wish of him? Would it not be happy till every one of the people he cared for was dead. In that moment Anakin was glad that Padme did not love him, maybe she would be spared.

“Ani are you just going to sit there and let them die? They're your Masters, your mentors...”

“They're my family!” Anakin's anger snapped. He closed his eyes trying to find a level of calm like the two of you had taught him. If Master Obi Wan were here he would remind Anakin that the Senator's safety was his primary mission and you would want both he and Padme to be safe. If his Masters were here they would both tell him that the mission came first, as much as he wanted to fly there and save you both. “But you heard Master Windu. He gave us strict orders to stay put.”

“He gave you orders to protect me and I'm going to save Obi Wan and Y/n.” She started flipping toggles and switches, set in her decision. “So if you plan to protect me, you'll just have to tag along.”

Anakin couldn't help the relief that washed over him, nor the smile of admiration. Padme always found a way, no matter the odds his Angel always found a way. Turning in his seat he began the launch sequence, “Yes Ma'am”

“That's more like it.” Padme tilted her head to check that C-3PO and R2 were safely aboard. It was good to hear Ani sounding like himself and not the despaired broken person of a few hours before. At least it was a sign that he may yet recover from the death of his mother, even if the actions he had confessed to would haunt him. Padme knew Anakin must have fought his way in and out of that camp, collateral damage was bound to happen. Because that was what it must have been...

it had to be.

________________

The electric currents shot painfully through your body again as your captors questions remained unanswered. You had been able to escape initial capture, but were caught by the Geonosians after trying to retrieve Obi Wan.

You would both pay for the error.

Admittedly the odds were not in your favor, you managed to disable a majority with a gas explosion, sliced the wings off many others. In the end though you had been taken kicking, biting, cursing, and screaming and placed in the interrogators beam.

Master, no Count Dooku was standing before you calmly asking again why you and Obi Wan were there. The tone was the same that he had used when students disappointed him in training. But this was not the same Master whom had tutored you, no this was a different man and no longer a Jedi. Gritting your teeth you started to mumble the words to a song that was a favorite of Master Melri, one that all to well fit the situation.

“Well, I won't back down

no, I won't back down

you can stand me up at the gates of hell

but I wont back down”

“Y/n this can all be over if you would only tell me the reason for your presence here.” Dooku could hear the off key singing, noting the lyrics as your reply. Interrogation rarely resulted in the desired information and it wasted time. Not that he wanted nor needed to perform this exercise, least of all with Obi Wan. His Grand Padawan may yet be of use to his plans and harming him would be counter productive. You on the other hand were a complication and a wild card in his deck. Waiving a hand the current turned off, the only sounds filling the small space was your ragged breathing.

“We both know that you won't let me walk out of here.” Glaring at the dark figure in your peripheral vision you heard the Count hum in agreement. The only hope that you and Obi Wan had was if your wayward apprentice received the distress call. Your own temper was flaring from all that had been brought to the light. Dooku's betrayal to the Jedi, the assassination plot, war...

You spat at the viper's feet, “Nutricula seditiosorum omnium.”

“I see you still favor the old tomes in the archives,” Dooku considered something for a moment, something he had not weighed before. Troublesome though you were quite clever, nor was there anyone else with a keener insight to the workings of the Jedi Council. If he managed to acquire one Knight the other would follow, two for the price of one. Coming to stand alongside your suspended body he removed a handkerchief to blot at your cut lip. Your sharp gaze never left his, challenging and dare he say angered. He had almost forgotten that you were of mixed lineage, the temper of the former being legendary... How very interesting. “Tell me did you ever study the old scrolls regarding Darth Malgus? Always two, no more or less... How many Sith were destroyed that day on Naboo?”

You turned away focusing on a spot on the wall, ignoring whatever game this seditionist wanted to play.

“I see in your eyes that you know the truth, that the other Sith remains.” The girls gaze shifted back to him. She had been there, had seen his predecessor. “What if I told you I am on the trail of the Sith who escaped? That even now this Darth Sidious is exerting his power to weaken the Republic one senator and system at a time.”

“You're lying.”

Dooku hummed, “You and I both know that I am not. Your intellect would be invaluable. You, Obi Wan and I, together we could finally bring this monster to justice for what he did to Qui Gon and the Republic.”

“The Council would have sensed this danger if it was so close,” Anger and denial raged in your veins, but somewhere in the back of your mind the words took hold. Like a challenge it dared you to follow, to seek, to investigate. Looking at the Count, at the smug upturn of his lips you shook the thought away. “Obi Wan would never join you and neither will I.”

“Even if it meant that you could finally have what you've always wanted? To keep that which you so covetously guard?” Dooku watched your face drain of color. While you were very good at hiding your thoughts and feelings, Obi Wan was not. It hadn't taken much including the information that Fett had provided to come to a conclusion. These two had a bond that would not easily break and perhaps that was their undoing. “To no longer fear losing the one that you loved?”

“I cannot fear that which I cannot lose,” Leveling a harsh look at the man you narrowed your eyes, "Love is of the soul. A soul cannot be destroyed, only these mortal vessels.”

Clever girl, much like her Masters before, “But what of now? Have you not longed for a family, a normal life with the one you cherish? Don't you deserve a reward after all you have done and sacrificed? After all that you have already lost?”

Yes you had dreamed such a thing, still did on your worst days. A small cottage somewhere peaceful with not a worry more than your patients and perhaps a small garden for your Obi Boy to tend to. To fall asleep to the sounds of the wind and sea or the trees and small creatures that would surround your home. But in a way you already had your family, you and Obi Boy and Anakin. You three were happy in your own little way and that was more than you could have asked for. No, the Devil himself would not turn you today. “Amabo eum in vita vel morti...”

“Then there's really nothing more I can do for you my dear. Such a pity,”

“Why not just kill me now,” you challenged.

“Would that I had the ability to grant such mercy, but I'm afraid our friends in the Trade Federation have taken quite the interest and our hosts have prepared something in their honor.” Dooku turned just as he made the doorway. “The Haako family patriarch in particular, the one whose namesake you killed.”

The door closed behind him, the sound deafening and final. You couldn't help the tears that fell as the old memories of the fight for Naboo dug into your heart, still you kept singing. If it was the last thing in this galaxy that you did it would be to wipe the smug look from that man's face. Besides, you had long known one simple truth... Death was such an old acquaintance that he would come for you last.

And only after all of your loved ones had been taken from you.

“No, I'll stand my ground

won't be turned around

and I keep this world from draggin' me down,

gonna stand my ground

And I won't back down.”

Jango Fett considered himself a fair man. When he was hired for a job he did the job, he never enjoyed the killing though. Some hunters got into the business for their own blood lust, Bosk was like that, but Jango enjoyed the challenge a hunt brought. The cat and mouse, the strategy, the soreness after a good fight, never the killing. He had a code that he followed, loose as it was, including that his targets did not suffer needlessly.

The Count, as his boss preferred to be called, had asked him to transfer the female Jetii to the holding cell where her counterpart was. That Tyranus had tortured the woman for the sick joy of it, well that didn't set well with him. She was a strong little thing though, hadn't given the man the pleasure of her tears nor given into his tactics. Something far worse had done greater harm to her in the past because she hadn't crumbled, simply sang her little song in defiance. For that the Jeti'ika impressed him all the more.

Entering the room he bound your wrists and began escorting you through the winding catacombs of the lower levels. “Don't try anything funny Jetii.”

“My name is Y/n if you'll recall,” You moved with a bit of a limp given the rough capture. Glancing at that shiny bucket you remembered the terror in the Changling's eyes. This was the Hunter that was so feared, but beneath that helmet was a man and not a monster. You may be resigned to your fate, but as a Jedi it was your duty to protect and to hope. There was yet one innocent here that could be saved and perhaps another soul that could yet turn back to the light. As tired as you were, as cynical as you felt, you had to try. “You should take your son away from this place.”

Jango tilted his head, “And why is that Y/n?”

“I know your boss. Master Dooku will only let you live as long as you're useful, then who will protect Boba?” He had called you by your name, it was something at least. You kept an even tone as you continued, “He was my teacher once long ago, but matters little to him. Friends, family, loyalty none of that matters, nothing can stop what he has planed. Once he has a goal Master Dooku does everything to achieve that end... He doesn't like loose ends.”

“And I don't like tricks little girl,” Jango roughly pulled his prisoner into small hallway alcove, pressing her into the rough stone. He watched your face for the usual disappointing displays; the big eyes and tears, begging, bargaining, seduction. All he saw though was bone deep weariness and a jaded smirk of one who could see their own end. He couldn't place why this bothered him, but for some reason Jango didn't want to see the fight leave you. He also knew what the Bugs had in store for the two knights and if he hated anything it was a rigged fight. Still the question remained what was the woman playing at?

“I'm not trying to trick you Jango. Frankly if there wasn't a child involved...” Stars and the Force help you to get through the man's thick skull. You leaned back more firmly into the stone as he lifted his helmet to look you in the eye. The man had done bad things made bad bargains, but Boba was just a kid. “Your son deserves to keep his Dad.”

His gaze narrowed at you, eyes cold. “Why would you give a kark about my boy?”

Closing your eyes on a heavy sigh you told the truth, “Because I know what it is to lose a parent and I'd spare any child that same pain. Please just take him and fly far away from here, live a happy life and grow old. If you stay here you will not see him become a man... and that would be a shame.”

You were being sincere, even past the exhaustion and pain that tainted the rest of your body language Jango could see it. You didn't beg for your life nor were you trying to escape. He again weighed his course of action just as he had earlier, the decision falling even more firmly into place now. Pulling his helmet down Jango crouched, lifted you onto his shoulder, and started walking down the corridor again. He knew this wasn't a smart idea, but it was the fair one. “Don't struggle.”

You startled when the hunter lifted you, but that was replaced with the bitter taste of failure. Why even try anymore, every time you tried to help it blew up in your face so why even try! The whirlwind of your mind was going so fast that when Jango placed you to sit on a high surface it took a full minute to realize that you were in a room of some type. Your eyebrow raised as he locked the door, “What are you...”

“Quiet.” His tone was sharper than intended and he watched as you flinched. Jango needed to get this done before sense returned to him. Removing two ration balls from his belt he pulled the front of your tunic aside and tucked one into a pocket, the other he held up to your mouth. “Eat, you'll need your strength.”

Unsure of his intentions you shook your head, making the hunter's temper flare. He grabbed your face holding open your mouth and forced you to take the food. It tasted like the rations that you were issued from the Temple, but there was no way to be certain. You held the food in your mouth, wanting to spit it out.

“Don't be stupid, swallow it.” Jango was not about to waste much time on this, he'd plug your nose if he had too, but you did as he said. Lifting a water pouch to your lips he growled in his throat before you could refuse to drink. Satisfied that was done he patted your thigh, “Good girl, now leg up.”

“Why?”

“Stubborn thing,” He raised your cuffed hands overhead to canter your body. Pulling the injector out, he showed you the label, then jammed it into your leg. Chucking it aside he tried to soothe the spot of the injection, stroking his thumb back and forth on the muscle. Jango shook his head again at the stupidity of doing this. Knowing that he and Boba would be on the run from both the Republic and Tyranus after his actions were discovered. Perhaps this one good deed would tip the scales in his favor when judgment came, perhaps it was just wishful thinking. “That should take care of the worst of it.”

He had released your hands to find something else in his belt, the Bacta had begun working through your body as well. You felt his anger and regret as tears of gratitude leaked down your face. Jango didn't have to do this, he owed you nothing, but he had been kind. Bringing your bound hands down you traced the Beskar Heart of his armor. Jango ceased his task to lightly clasp your fingers. Glancing up you saw his face soften, lips pursed with words he could not say, instead he bent forward to touch his forehead to your own.

“Thank you Jango.”

“You shouldn't be here," he used the same tone that he would have when Boba was little, not wanting to upset you more. Jango shook his head with a subtle huff, "you don't deserve to be here.”

Closing your eyes a sad little chuckle escaped you, “We rarely get what we deserve.”

“Isn't that the truth. From what I've seen though, I don't think this will be your last day.” Jango smiled sadly. In another lifetime maybe they could have even been friends, but that could be true of so many things. He pressed the last item into your hand, watched as you secured it in your robes. Time was short and he needed to get you to the holding cell, but then soft fingertips touched his cheeks. He was used to pain, but this gentleness was so very different. Glancing at your battered face Jango knew that he had made the right decision.

Leaning in you placed a soft kiss to his cheek, “When the fight comes, I won't look for you Jango. Fly swift and straight.”

As you pulled away Jango couldn't help indulging in temptation just a little. Your face could have fit entirely in the palm of his hand, his hold firm but careful of the bruising. Dipping his head down Jango collected his fee, after all one good deed deserves another. He kept the kiss light, tongue only just tracing the outside seam of your lips including the small cut on the tender bottom one before he pulled away. He had to smirk at the little sigh and the flush that crept up your cheeks.

Your mind had gone blank, not expecting him to do that! You were just trying to be nice and say thank you, but damn the man for being so cheeky. Then he gave a roguish, self satisfied smirk at you and that tore it. Narrowing your eyes you kicked him square in the ass plate, “Oh you...”

“Quid Pro Quo cyar'ika,” Jango couldn't help but smile at the fire in your eyes. He carried you down to the cell to be with your riduur, not that he thought the prick deserved you. He hoped that his actions would be enough that you would survive. Now he had to prepare and plan his own escape, and contingencies for Boba. If what you said was true then his own chances of survival weren't much better than your own. Glancing back from the door Jango watched as the two knights embraced, fretting over one another. What would it be like to have someone worry over him like that? Not that he had the time to ruminate on such things, he was being summoned for more intruders on the droid floor.

“Ret'urcye mhi Y/n, jate'kara.”

Translations:

Nutricula seditiosorum omnium (latin)- dry nurse of all seditious men

Amabo eum in vita vel morti (latin)- I will love him in life or death

cyar'ika- sweetheart

Riduur- spouse

Jeti'ika- little Jedi

Ret'urcye mhi- Good bye, but more literally maybe we'll meet again.

jate'kara- luck, destiny; more literally good stars to steer by.

Tags: @meshlasolus @a-rose-of-amber @aquaamethyst96 @rain-on-kamino @stanny-uwu @just-dreaming-marvel @nurseytypechick @in-a-mellow-tone @acatalystrising @pickleprickle @iambored24601 @songoficecreamandfireworks @misscamptl @purplepandora666 @obiknights @moostresskenobi @the-going-merry @ginger-swag-rapunzel @iabrokengirl @lovelyxlily @annasun13 @foxperifoto @supernaturallover2002

[silver-inked-quill]

The Last Hours of a Herondale

Ch. 4 Just like a pic nic

Pairing: Matthew Fairchild x Herondale reader

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: use of drugs and alchohol, mentions of blood and seizures, violence, sexual content and harassment (these do not apply on every chapter they go for the whole story)

I was standing at the Cornwall Gardens next to our dad while James stood on our mom’s side while Lucie was standing between them. I could feel her joy hyperventilating in enthusiasm. I on the other hand wasn’t in the best mood. I was prepared for breakfast at home and suddenly I have to change. I am aware that this is not such big deal, however, I like to dress more modestly when I am outside covering as much skin as possible. So instead of my sweet boat necked dress that came into an a line skirt I wore a long sleeved high necked dress in a mermaid ending that deleted the shape of my silhouette. My simple braided ended up being curled and twisted around my neck. To upbeat my mood my mama carefully placed her clockwork angel around my neck before we set off. I was wearing a light pink cloak that matched my mulberry colored dress.

The carriage stopped right in front of us and Sona was the first one to disembark followed by her two children. I could see Daisey scanning the lot of us, I didn’t pay much attention until Sona touched my elbow, as in a warm gesture and that snapped me and thankfully only out of my thoughts. “You must remember the age of sixteen Tessa, all dances and dresses.” I heard Sona say.

“No but I do recall attending a vampire dance and some other party where Benedict Lightwood turned into a worm due to demon pox” My mother replied and I breathed in satisfaction for no reason, it is not as if I dislike Sona.

“Mother” Lucie exclaimed scandalized.

“Well he did turn into a worm”  James added with a light grind.

“It was more of a vicious serpent…”  our father corrected them putting one his serious not face.

“It was a very important part of demon pox, scientifically speaking.” I added to lighten the atmosphere.

“Now that you mention it thank Cecily for me, for the domestic assistance.” Sona spoke as the luggage was being transferred to the house. “Cordelia this will be a mess. Why don’t you take Lucie and Y/N for a walk” she suggested.

“And James could escort you. Perhaps the Kensington Gardens.” My mother suggested. I was in no mood to follow and they knew but I would do it for Lucie. My dad rubbed my shoulders looking at me.

“Patience” He whispered in my ear before I followed the girls and my father. I had an awful mood, I disliked the change of plans and daylight for that matter. Unlike my sister who was thrilled for such activities. I am more of an night owl.

We strolled down the streets to arrive at the gardens. I had my armed tangled to my brother’s as he was escorting me as a gentleman. Truth is I heard mom and dad speaking of marriage concerning me and I honestly couldn’t be more happy that both of them agreed to not push me on the matter. Besides I had things concerned my personal life I kept secrets no one knew of them.

“I thought this would never happen, you coming here” Lucie spoke cuddling Cordelia’s side.

“Why not? Law says if you are to be parabatai you should train together.” James spoke to assure our little sister.

“Perhaps she could stay at the institute. Papa adores her” Lucie spoke, I  was so happy to see her enthusiasm unfold.

“I think your father adores any Carstairs.” Cordelia spoke and I smiled brightly at that. It was true. “Even my brother”

“I happen to actually like Alastair.”  I spoke and I saw the glare of betrayal on James’ gaze. “At least I feel like we bond over our constant whining and permanent coldness to everyone that isn’t ours.” I explained briefly and squeezed my brother’s arm discreetly. “You really have to love people like us to tolerate that.” I joked lightly.

“You are not constantly moody. I happen to find you amusing.” Cordelia spoke and smiled.

“Yes because I consider you from the people I can trust Daisy… Your people shall be my people…  that’s what the vow says. And with Matthew it is no different.” I unriddled my  thoughts to her and smiled.

“Means a lot to get that from the eldest Herondale sibling” Daisy smiled and made me laugh.

“it was fifteen minutes you know…” James groaned annoyed.

“Ohh shush little brother” I smiled at him and placed my head on his arm hugging him a bit. James turned at me but didn’t comment further only squeezing my hand.

“So how about I spent the day with my best friend…” Lucie spoke and looked at me and then at James.

“Alright, I will be ten steps behind like a train bearer. But I have to keep you within sight otherwise mother will kill me and then I will miss tomorrow’s ball and then Matthew would kill me and I would be twice as dead.” James spoke and I remained next to him. Once Luce and Daisy were far enough I looked up at him.

“I told uncle Jem about the vision. Did you talk with him?” I asked my brother.

“No but I requested a hearing.” He replied and looked down at me. “Thank you for sleeping at Lucie’s room. I know how you feel when you are not at your place with your things… Did you had any other flashnack other than the Devil’s Tavern? I mean at Lucie’s room or with the furniture and all…” He asked me as we kept our gaze to the girls that were speaking in front of us.

“No I did not. I am good. Honestly it is only my fear to not see something I cannot stand. I mean from the very first things I saw was Jessamine dying in our father’s arms, when I touched her doll house. Or aunt Ella dead when dad hugged me after that.” I explained briefly and James didn’t speak.

“You have never told me what you saw first.” He noticed and looked at me.

“Well… you know. Clockwork creatures attack at the institute, uncle Jem slowly dying, mom taken away, auntie Charlotte pregnant to Charlie trying to defend Henry and there is Jessamine and dad… He was already injured, and she took a hit for him.” I spoke up and took a breath. “I can feel the pain of the person I am seeing you know… this is why I have never touched Jem’s violin or the mom or dad.” I added and looked away for several moments.

“That is why you do not touch any of us. Right?” He asked, his voice was too quiet too heavy.

“No, I deny that because I am scared that I amy see the future and not the past. It has happened three times before…” I added before he could actually ask me. “Can we change the subject?” I asked him and looked at him. He looked at me and pulled me into a where where only the fabric of our clothes actually touched and I had to admit it was relieving.

“I haven’t asked you yet how is it going with that Bridgestock guy that has been around your tail?” James asked me and looked at me.

“Well he has been running around like Oscar and I ignore him with the absolute success although he doesn’t seem to accept ignorance for an answer. The worse that could happen is him asking my hand and me saying no.” I explained briefly. “This is why I practically danced even with Charlie at the last ball. Even he doesn’t like his fiancee’s brother.” I joked lightly. He didn’t comment further he only held my hand and squeezed it.

~

It was the night of the ball and I was getting ready as Anna and Barbara Lightwood were in my room, we all called each other cousins even though we were blood related only to Anna. Anna was setting Barbara’s hair steady. I came out of the folding screen wearing a gown, its decolette was queen anne styled and had the color of mahogany just like there was a layer of illusions on the skirt on the same color, the ball gown dress was maroon as the it was touching the ground. Barbara insisted that I let my hair down and she started fixing the curls and add some accessories, I was unsure which ones.

“Let’s make you shine more, shall we?”  Anna commented and opened the drawer of my makeup. I rarely used because I was too bored of that process.

“Do we really have to?” I asked her and raised my eye brows and looked at her through the mirror.

“You are too moody and glitter always fixes the mood” Barbara agreed and borrowed my brush to fix her hair. She looked prettier than anyone I ever saw. “Do you think Ollie will like the dress?” She asked us.

“Oliver would like you even if you wore the uniform of the Queens guard.” I commented as Anna told me to keep my eyelids closed. I could feel her applying something on the cup of my eye and then she was adding mascara to my eye lashes. She then returned to my eyes.

“She is not wrong Barb” Anna commented as she then added some blush on my cheeks.

“Owo, Y/N! You look breathtaking.” Barbara spoke adoringly and massaged my shoulders lightly. She was wearing gloves and I felt a shudder of relief as she did. They both knew of my issue and they were used to be attentive around my room.

I opened my eyes and I couldn’t help but smile. Glitter was indeed making everything look better and me included. “Anna, this is amazing. Thank you so much, both of you.” I smiled and got up making a turn.

“Awe your welcome kiddo” Anna spoke and tugged some hair behind my ear with storge. I looked at her. “And if anyone dares to comment anything. Oh just let me know.” She said as we started making our way to the ballroom when we heard noises from the game room.

“What if they call me ‘bohemian’? Excuse them it is not an insult.” I smiled and turned to see Matthew and James fighting over my father’s bouse.

“Bohemian?” James asked lowly. 

“What?” Math asked James “Oh Anna Have you been sent to fetch us? He then asked aagain sagging against my brother’s shoulder.

“If by fetch you mean drag you back to the ball room since I cannot really take care of all those girls?” Anna asked holding the doo, while I was on the corridor. Barbara waved at us and left to meet her fiancée and I took a step forward.

“And I am certain all those ladies are waiting for you three…”  I smiled as I leaned charmingly to the door frame. “Perhaps I could join?” I asked. I was only mocking them. I never knew a bit of glitter and some blush could cheer me up like that. Anna knows what she is doing.

“Owo… The bohemian…” Math spoke and his gaze was fixed on me, he was drunk again and I could tell.

“All prepared for the Ari’s brother I see.” My brother commented and I raised my eyebrow.

Anna looked at me and took my hand “Oh I didn’t make art on our Y/N to give her straight to him!” she exclaimed and looked at me. “I will dance with her. No one will be as pretty as my cousin” She smiled and I hugged her causing shocked expressions to the pair of parabatai.

“Speaking of art, you still have my coat.” Math commented as he carefully took my hand and we all made our way to the ball room

“I thought it was disposable.” I commented looking at him, his eyes were fixed on the glitter around my eyes.

“So you don’t have it? Shame, things touched by me are too precious.” He sighed as he was walking pretty straight for a drunk person. His fingers tangled around mine, he was only touching my glove, the only fabric less part of my body where my neck and collarbone, so I felt rather safe.

“Oh I have it. Therefore since your declaration of perish concerning the clothing I adopted it. Namely it is no longer yours Mr. Fairchild. I am incredibly sorry.”  I spoke, my tone was formal and I looked at him. My smirk was playful as I looked at him.

Math giggled lightly. “Very well miss Herondale, I am afraid you owe me the first dance of your night. It is the least you can do after kidnapping my precious coat.” He added and as soon as we got at the ball room I felt his hand on my waist pulling me against his body. His one hand gently held mine gently. I wasn’t left with many choices. I placed my arm around his neck. Despite my heels, I was still much shorter. I hadn’t realized how much taller than me he actually is. I felt a weird feeling in my stomach as I was noticing details on Matthew that I never had the years before. It was triggering an arrythmia that was oddly euphoric.

“All of a sudden you lost your voice Lina? Looks like there are more things that unnerve you. You just can’t get enough of my face” Math remarked as his voice was laced with a bizarre ounce of satisfaction. It was the moment I admitted to myself how much I like his voice spelling my name. It was true that I was never quiet around Math. I was seizing every chance that was given to him to be ironic or mock him just like I did with James.

“Don’t be flattered Matthew. I look up to you only because I am short.” I cameback with a smart reply. I had better moments than this one, I must admit.

“Oh, that’s the best answer you can come up with?” He asked me and suddenly pushed me into a small turn before pulling me back to him, once again slightly crushing to his body. I gasped.

“A little heads up the next time would be much appreciated.” I smiled at him and looked around.

“Who are you looking for?” Math asked me, he was curious and I could tell.

“They are looking at us.” I informed him, my hand twitched in his grip. I didn’t enjoy being the center of attention, even though I loved to dance. I could see freaking Rosamund commenting something to Catherine, it made my stomach twist.

“They are only looking at you.” He corrected me and I turned at him, my eyes wide in anxiety as I tried to maintain the rest of my facial expression as it was, casual. “Hey, they are looking at you because you look wonderful. And remember it is just us. You teaching me how to dance on the first ball we were allowed to attend.” He added calmly. It worked as I only had my complete attention to his lips and what he was telling me. I smiled. “There it is.” He smiled back.

We kept dancing smoothly to the music, it was indeed just me and him until I saw her… Grace Blackthorn. Soon in my optical space, I spotted my brother and tracking back to the beeline he left there was Cordelia left alone.

“Math…” I paused abruptly. “Go to her…” I spoke and gulped at the shock she felt. She was my age, I think, and she had never had the chance to attend such ball, hence she doesn’t know that this idiocy of my brother leaving her like that could turn to something scandalous.

“I can’t… I mean you-.” Math spoke and frowned.

“I wont be hearing the honey dripping from the crones for the first time, and I can handle it. You know it. It would be a shame for Cordelia…” I sighed looking at her. I was angry at James. I was to walk there as well when Aiden Bridgestock appeared in front of me.

Awesome!

[mistfallengw2]

1 and 5, your choice, whoever is heaviest on your mind! @ratasum

Non-wholesome Romantic Asks 🖤

I mean, Tocchix and Iotta own my mind, so... [Gonna swap the questions so it makes more sense lol]

5. Is the relationship living up to their initial expectations?

Surpassed expectations for both of them.

Tocchix had plenty of time to fantasize about it as he quietly pined for Iotta for years, yet that did not prepare him in the slightest for how the relationship started on the highest rollercoastery note possible (by wanting to ask her out on a date he nearly caught her redhanded doing some Inquest business in the Order, she panicked and snapped at him, then patched the situation with the nuclear option, anticipating her plans by straight up kissing him and telling him they'd talk later). Sure, her immediate demand to keep the relationship a secret was a bit of a downer despite making sense given the circumstances (her cover story was that she felt the Inquest's target on her back at all times, so a relationship would have made things exponentially more dangerous for both), but while it was a bit hard to adjust to at first, it also led to every moment spent properly together being exponentially better than the previous.

As for Iotta... she never planned for the relationship to be genuine, it was just a way of controlling him a bit more, so that she wouldn't have to waste such a good apprentice-turned-partner when she eventually returned to the Inquest. In the end, she played herself and was completely out of her depth once the realization of how much she actually loved him hit her like a truck. It was a difficult thing to navigate for her, but she enjoyed it far more than she ever expected and hated herself for it because of how it risked jeopardizing her mission.

-

1. Do they actually love /love/ each other? Has it changed over time?

Yes, and that didn't change after Iotta went back to the Inquest alone. Those feelings were something they both struggled with constantly, even more so after seeing each other again by chance in Rata Arcanum, and tragically so after he killed her awakened husk.

Iotta's decision to offer him a choice as she had to leave was her way to show her love, and Tocchix's implicit refusal (he completely panicked and ran away instead of answering) led to her compartmentalizing it in the worst way possible to avoid dealing with the trashfire of feelings she was left with. Seeing him again in Rata Arcanum and realizing that that affection was still very much there and mutual was... fine. Totally didn't crash and explode into all that Iotta had so carefully crafted to convince herself that she had gone back to the life she wanted, nor started her down a slow mental breakdown as she was put in an even higher position in the Inquest. Too bad she didn't work through it fast enough, as that might have saved her from being left to die by her mentor when the Awakened attacked Rata Primus :^) But hey, at least the love she felt for Tocchix was enough for her to break free from Joko's yoke when her body was commanded to kill him, at least just long enough to make sure he'd be able to kill her like he had promised.

As for Tocchix, he went through a few terrible years after she left. The one who had taught him most of what he knew, the partner he trusted the most after working as one in the field for years, the person he loved the most in the world... had all along been part of the organization that had killed his mother and changed the trajectory of his life, and she always knew that. His confidence, the trust that had kept both alive for years and his heart were all completely shattered. He was plagued by nightmares of her and her betrayal, he isolated himself as he felt like he was somehow to blame for her actions by mistaking others' concern for doubt, and in his work he threw himself against the Inquest at any chance in hopes of finding her and making her answer for it. And yet the love didn't go away, only making things worse again and again as he was sure there was an explanation or something, especially after he had to kill her husk to keep a promise he had made a long time prior and he was sure he had caught a glimpse of her in her final moments. Tocchix still can't fully move on, even now that he's happy with Huki and has worked through all the added baggage of betrayal and questionable actions on her part. Burying the dagger she still had with her that day (and was recovered by Bunnie as the Crystal Bloom helped cleanse Kourna) in a place Iotta would have surely loved was the first step in letting go and, unbeknownst to him, giving some peace to her spirit.

At least, in other universes things go differently and eventually lead to much happier outcomes, even in the one where he accepts to follow her.