#she's just the Most divorced woman you've ever met and i love her so much

[debtsunpaid]

tag drop for EMMA KNIGHT, divorced failboss and fashion designer to hell! her song is 'caesar on a TV screen' by the last dinner party.

[cptnleviackerman]

╰─▸ ❝ jean kirstein ❞ ˋ*ੈ*⁀➷

content - dad jean, shy jean, cheating, divorce, jean has an ex wife, x f reader

I watched a movie last night and now all I can think about is single dad!jean who is just getting over his messy divorce. he's got a wonderful daughter who means the world to him, and he does everything he can to keep her safe and happy, and even though it's hard for him, he still makes sure she sees her mother as regularly as possible—even though it causes him massive amounts of pain to see how happy and carefree his ex wife is with her new partner.

best friend connie who keeps begging jean to go out to a bar for a couple drinks with him. he asks every single friday (and saturday), and jean is always adamant that he's just not ready to get back out there and start dating. but one night he finally caves and says yes, his daughter is spending the night with her mother and he doesn't want to sit alone is his small, despressingly bare apartment by himself. so he dresses up as best he can and meets connie for a drink. and that's where he meets you for the first time.

you catch his eye as soon as you walk in the room, and he's not the only one who's watching you. he sees a couple of dudes try and buy you a drink, and you shoot them down before they've even had a chance to introduce themselves. connie catches jean staring and practically drags him towards you, pushing jean into the chair opposite you and leaving as soon as he's introduced jean to you.

jean completely fumbles the interaction, he tries to use numerous pick up lines on you—all which fail—and his compliments are completely over the top and it's clear he has no idea what he's doing. you try to excuse yourself, but he practically begs you not to leave. upon realising what a terrible flirter he is jean decides to tell the truth about his situation, rather than pretend to be a flirt and a ladies man. he tells you it's his first time trying to pick up someone in a bar, and that he's never been any good at flirting. he tells you all about his messy divorce, and how he was cheated on and that it basically wrecked his entire life—the only positive from his marriage being that he has the most amazing daughter in the world. he tells you that he hasn't been on any kind of first date since he was 15 and that he has absolutely no idea how to approach a woman as beautiful as you.

you think his honesty is sweet, and that he's a much easier guy to talk to than anyone else in this stupid bar, so you ask him to take you home. he's embarrassed to take you to his apartment but you aren't paying the rooms or decor any notice. as soon as you get past the door your lips are attached to his neck, and you find out that although he cannot flirt for the life of him, he is an amazing kisser, and probably the most giving guy you've ever been with.

you leave the next morning, and he promises to call you. his heart hasn't felt as light as this since...he can't even remember. he thinks about you for days, but is so nervous to call you. all he can manage is sending a short text to you, saying [hi! hope you're doing well, thanks for the great night. I would love to see you again.] you smile when you receive it, but your job is so demanding that you don't get the chance to reply for a while and the text completely slips your mind as you prep for an important night of meetings.

jean doesn't feel good about how long it's been since he texted you, and he wants to see you again. soon. so he decides to call you after his daughter's parents teacher conference. he sits with his ex wife, awaiting their turn, outside of the classroom door. but when the teacher calls out to let them know that they can enter the classroom, he walks in and is met with the sight of you, standing behind the desk, arm extended ready to shake hands with the parents you'd just called in.

the woman he'd hooked up with from the bar was his daughter's teacher?

you sit in front of jean, utterly humiliated at the situation, and you watch as his face reddens when his ex wife notices the tension and begins to ask if the two of you had met before. you speak before jean can, and assure her that you've never met before, and that you're just feeling overwhelmed from all the parents you've met today. she seems to believe it, but when jean catches your eye and smiles uncharacteristically shyly, she feels a bubble of jealousy rise in her chest.

luckily the meeting goes without a hitch after that, their daughter is doing perfectly well in class, all she needs to do is try to participate in class discussions a bit more.

jean and his ex wife were your last meeting of the evening, and you watch as he hastily bids farewell to his ex, stumbling over his words and looking around nervously. you smile when he hangs around in the doorway after she's left, seemingly trying to find the courage to come and say something to you.

you finish collecting your things and walk towards jean, who's now pacing back and forth in the corridor. he jumps when he sees you, but smiles warmly at your presence. before you have the chance to say anything about how awkward that meeting was, words are tumbling from jeans mouth:

"im so sorry I haven't called you yet, I had absolutely no idea what to say to you and I didn't want to say the wrong thing and scare you off. which I now realise is stupid because you wouldn't have asked me to take you home if you didn't at least like me a little bit but I didn't want to come on too strong and—"

"jean, it's okay. just ask me to dinner."

"yeah? okay. will you have dinner with me...tomorrow?"

"yes, I'd love to have dinner with you."

the two of you walk out to the car park together, and jean opens your car door for you. he bids you goodbye, and tells you how much he's looking forward to dinner tomorrow. and you smile, a warm feeling blossoming in your chest as you reply that you can't wait to see him again.

tagging: @cowgirlikets (tysm for asking to be tagged !! love to u)

[lovehaiduk]

SECRET WEDDING

After a short marriage, my mother divorced and never remarried. I was content with this situation because I didn't want to have a stepfather in my life, excuse my selfishness. Early on, I lost contact with my real dad, so I got used to be just me and my mom. Besides, I'm still single and have no desire to start a family of my own. So I am not in the situation to blame myself for having something which she doesn't have anymore. We are in the same shit, sort of speak.

            Anyway, as you can imagine, my mom is not the most cheerful person you've ever met. Being a single mother for most of her life isn't exactly a dream come true. She has lived a sober life and acts accordingly. Most kids bring their moms flowers, I bring her the Prozac bottle from the medicine cabinet when she's too exhausted to get out of bed.

            The last time I visited her, I saw that she was in an exceptionally good mood, which surprised me a lot. Maybe she won the lottery, I thought. Or maybe she's on something stronger than Prozac. If her doctor changed her prescription, I wonder what he's giving her instead! Ecstasy?!

            I didn't want to ask her right away what it was. I pretended that seeing her smile all the time was something normal. Maybe it is, but in another life. Then after a while she told me the big news:

            - You know, since I go to the new hospital for checkups, I met a nurse who works there. She's a very special girl! I want you to meet her! Maybe you can drive me to the hospital today and it would be the perfect opportunity for you two to get to know each other!

            - Mom, I don't date nurses!... Unless they're porn stars wearing fake medical outfits!             I was rude to her, but I wanted to put an early end to the discussion. I mean, she didn't try to hook me up when I was 18, and now I'm 40 and her first concern is about my sex life?!             - But she's so nice to me, she makes me feel good, I'm sure you'll like her a lot!             - Mom, stop it! I don't need to meet her, and please don't show me a picture of her either, I'm not interested, you know I've a phobia of germs, so that's the worst idea you can have!

            - But...

            - No buts, please!

            - Son, listen to me! You must know her!

            - No!

            I swore to myself that if she brought up this subject again, I'd tell her I was gay, even though I never sleep with men. Just to get out of this sordid situation where she forces me to give her some grandchildren. I didn't want to upset her too much, so I tried to compromise:

            - Even so, I can drive you to the hospital; are you ready?...

            - And maybe you'll change your mind by the time we get there!

            - Maybe!

            Throughout the ride, I turned the radio up full blast so she wouldn't say a word to me. Her brain was like a ticking bomb, obsessed all the time with bringing this new woman into my life. And in this scenario, I couldn't imagine telling her that this nurse is like a fifth wheel and I already have a dozen women in my bed. I mean she is discreet with her love affairs, she always has been, she requires me to call her every time before I visit her so I don't catch her with someone in the house, so why should I be more open!!!

            When we arrived, she asked me again, but more indirectly:

            - Do you want to come inside with me?

            - Mom, I might catch a disease, please go alone. I'll wait for you here, OK?

            - But if I faint, I may need your help at some point!

            - Ms Stevenson !!!, I called her by her last name to give emphasis to my message. Don't play these cheap tricks on me! If you faint, you have hundreds of doctors around you who can help you! Why do you need me to call 911 for you?! Come on! Please come back soon because the parking fees here are astronomical!

            I waited for half an hour. Then an hour. I was increasingly worried. Partly because of the money I was losing for parking, but also because she had stayed too long. I called her. When she answered the phone, I heard her crying.

            - Mom, what's wrong!!!

            She didn't say anything, she just sobbed loudly, like a crazy person. I was in a real panic.             - Where are you, what's going on?!

            I was starting to think that maybe she just found out she was terminal. Or something worse. But I hadn't asked her before what doctor or hospital unit she was going to. So I didn't know where she might be or where to start looking for her.

            All I heard on the other end of the line was her hysterical crying. And I had never heard that before. Something is definitely wrong here!

            I jumped out of the car and ran to the entrance of the hospital. When I got to the lobby, I didn't wait in line and asked the lady at the front desk where Ms Stevenson is, if somebody can search for her, it's an emergency!

            - Are you a relative?, she asked me with an ominous voice.

            - Yes, yes, please hurry up! Where is she?

            - Wait here, a doctor will come to talk to you right away!

            After two minutes I saw a doctor coming towards me. He was very pale. And he looked even more frightened than I was.

            - I'm sorry to inform you that Ms Stevenson has passed away!

            - I'm sorry, what!!!

            I thought it was a joke. It couldn't be possible! Five minutes ago I heard her crying on the phone, so five minutes ago she was alive!

            - She passed away! We couldn't help her! She was too late!

            - What do you mean she was too late?! You're lying to me! She's not dead!

            I was so angry that I started screaming. He is trying to convince me that my mother is dead. But I know she's not!

            Because I was so upset, the doctor signaled to some male nurses to come and probably give me a shot to calm me down. But I didn't want to wait to be forcibly sedated, so I put my hand on the doctor's neck and started squeezing:

            - If you want to live, tell me right now where my mother is!

            - She's downstairs, in the morgue!

            I let him go and ran away, escaping from two male nurses who were chasing me. In the meantime, I searched all the doors to see where the morgue was. When I got there, I started taking all the bodies out of the freezers. They fell like fleas on the floor. I examined every single corpse, male or female, in a chaotic motion, just to see if one of those people was my mother or not. When there was no body left in the freezer, I breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't there! The doctor lied to me!

            But wait a minute, where else is my mother? Maybe she's being held captive here somewhere by those crazy doctors! I have to find her, as soon as possible. Or should I call the police? But no one will believe me! They'll put me in a straitjacket. What am I going to do?! My phobia of germs is starting to kick in. So many dead bodies touching me, so many germs! My greatest fear shook me so much that I fell over in the middle of the pile of corpses. I started shivering because they were very cold. I was sitting on the body of a naked woman who was very beautiful and very fresh. Then I heard a voice:

            - So in the end you met her!

            It was my mother. She was standing in the doorway, looking at me sitting in the middle of the room, surrounded by all the mischief, like in a horror movie.

            - Mom!... Who are you talking about?!

            - This girl, you stay on her... The second Ms. Stevenson. She's my wife. I mean, she was until... The hospital staff just told me about her stupid car accident. Now I'm single again! I'm here to say goodbye to her.

            I was surprised when I saw that my mother was still alive. But I was even more surprised when I found out that she had become a lesbian!

[thatdeaniegirlsworld]

"Freakin" In Love with Him-Seth Rollins

It was no secret around the workplace that a certain visionary had your heart. He laughed ta your jokes, and gave the best hugs in the entire company. 

You and Seth had been friends for years, and every day that you think you can get over him...you can't. You know he would never go for you. You just wish that he could see how much better you are than any other woman on this planet.

It was Saturday night, and you didn't have to be on the road for a house show so you decided to stay in. What you didn't expect was for your doorbell to ring so late at night. You set your ice cream down, and make your way to the door where you see it's Seth. 

"Seth...hey. Everything okay?" You ask him, and he shakes his head. He was standing in grey sweats with a black hoodie and his hair was wet. "Come on in." You move so he can make his way into your home. "Want a drink?" 

"Do you have any coffee?" 

"I can make some." You tell him, and he nods before settling himself down on the couch. You start the coffee and wait until it's fully done to go bring him a cup. 

"Thank you." He says, beginning to sip on his cup of coffee. "Sorry to turn up like this. I just didn't know what to do." 

"You can always come to me." You tell him, beginning to rub his back up, and down. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

"My wife cheated on me, and she's pregnant with his child." He says, and your heart breaks for him. He really loved his wife, and couldn't believe what you were hearing. 

"Seth....I'm so sorry." You take his free hand that wasn't holding the coffee cup, and lace your fingers through his. "What are you going to do?" 

"I asked her for a divorce. She had apparently been seeing this guy for two years. We've only been married for three." He finishes his cup, and leans back against the couch. "I feel so stupid." He wipes the tears that fall down his face. 

"No. The last thing you are going to do is blame yourself. No sir. I know you, and you have nothing to feel ashamed about, okay?" He smiles slightly at you, and you feel the butterflies erupt in your stomach. 

"I don't know what I did to deserve a best friend like you, but I'm glad I have you." He leans over to press his lips to your forehead. "Is your boyfriend okay with me staying the night?" 

"Oh, that ended a while ago." You tell him, and he gives you his sad eyes. "I'm okay, I promise." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"You've just been so busy with Mania coming up and everything. I didn't want to bother you." 

"What happened?"

"I don't really want to talk about it." You try to wave him off, but the crease in his forehead gets significantly deepened as he frowns. "We're talking about you." 

"I could use the distraction."

"He um..." You pause to swallow the thick lump in your throat. "He just wanted to win a bet with his friends." 

"What was the bet?"

"To sleep with a thicker woman." You put the words nicely. "It's really nothing, I'm fine. I promise."

"Y/N..." Seth tries to comfort you, but you stand up. 

"So, you can stay. I can have the guest room set up or you can sleep out here, I know how much you love this couch." You turn away from him, your mouth beginning to quiver.

"How about I stay with you? I think we could both use some comfort." His voice comes from behind you. "And for what it's worth....that little boy didn't know what he lost. He's just scared he couldn't handle a beautiful woman like yourself." 

You turn around to face him, and he immediately opens his arms. "I'm sorry your wife cheated on you. She doesn't realize what she's lost. You're the most thoughtful, genuine person I have ever met." 

"I love you, sweet girl. You know that right? In my eyes....no one will ever be good enough for you."

"Funny enough....I was thinking the same thing." You pull back from his hug, and stares into your eyes. "I love you, too." 

"Come on....let's go to bed. I'm mentally exhausted." 

"After you."

*************************************************************

There has been a dynamic shift in between you and Seth since that night. You started staying the night with each other quite often, and every time he spotted you while working, he sent a smile your way. 

You didn't want to get your hopes up, but people around you two were starting to notice it as well. 

"You want to tell me what's going on with you and my brother?" You turn to see Roman Reigns who had just taken a seat at the table you were currently sitting at.

"I'm not sure what you mean." 

"You two seem to be getting real....close."

"Isn't that what best friends are supposed to do?"

"He smiles a lot more now. After everything with his divorce beginning to settle...he seems happy. I think it has to do with you. He never stops talking about you." 

"Really?" You beam, and blush when Roman smirks at you. "I don't want to ruin anything, but..." 

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Roman asks, and you nod. "Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know." You shrug your shoulders. "I don't want to lose him if he were to reject me." 

"What makes you think he'd reject you?"

"He's Seth Rollins, and I'm just me. Besides I think he has a date tonight." You look towards the ground, not wanting Roman to see how it really affects you. 

"I shouldn't say anything but..." He looks around the room before facing you again. "He doesn't have a date. He wanted to see if he could get a reaction out of you."

"Of course he did." You roll your eyes at the thought. "He should find someone else though....I'm not good enough for him."

"Good enough for who?" The man of the hour walks in, and takes a seat in between you and Roman. "If you're having to question yourself then obviously this guy isn't doing enough to show you that he wants you." 

"Well, I have to go, but I'll see y'all tonight." Roman says, and leaves. Thanks Roman. Seth slings his arm over your shoulder, and pulls you into his side. 

"I missed you, today." He whispers in your ear, and you feel yourself shiver at the closeness. Your hand lays on his stomach and you can feel the abs through the tight fabric. 

"I thought you had a date tonight?" You ask, and Seth chuckles in your ear. "What's so funny?" 

"You're totally jealous."

"I am not!" You yell at him, and he chuckles again....his breath smelling like the mint gum he was chewing on. 

"Oh no? Should I tell you where I plan on taking this special girl to?" 

"Fuck off, Seth." You shove him, and pull yourself from him. "That's not funny." 

"Where do you want to go for dinner?" He asks, completely avoiding your statement. "I was thinking somewhere nice. Just the two of us." 

"What for after your done with your date?" I ask him, and he just smirks at you. "I won't be your sloppy seconds, and if you're going to be seeing other people then stop sleeping in my bed."

"Look at me, darlin'" Seth tries to grab your attention, but you were raging with jealousy. He grabs your chin with his hand, and turns you to face him. "The only date I'm going on tonight....is with you."

"What?" Your heart hammers against your chest.

"I over heard you on the phone with Rhea the other night. Was it not obvious that I love you?" He asks, and you feel the tears threatening to spill over. "I don't ever want you questioning if you're good enough for me. You're the best thing to ever happen to me." 

"Seth." You whisper, and he wipes the tears from your face. "I had no idea..." 

"Now....with that being said, how would you like to go on a date with me?" 

"Yes." You whisper, and he scrunches his nose at you. "This isn't a joke right?" 

"No, baby. It's not." He tilts your chin up, and places his lips on yours. It felt perfect. "Did that seem like a joke to you?"

"I don't know. I may need more convincing." You tease, and he kisses you again. "Okay, I think I get it now."

"Good. Now, I'll pick you up after the show. Be ready, and where whatever makes you comfortable." He says, standing up from the table. "I love you." He smiles at you. 

"I love you, too." You tell him, and he blows you one last kiss before leaving the room completely.

[chl0writes]

Loving Ally.

Ally Mayfair-Richards x Reader.

You weren't supposed to fall for a married woman, but what happens when you're forced to confront your feelings?

I posted this a while ago but it was deleted. This was taken from my Wattpad.

~

Ally could not sleep. The air was far too humid and her mind would not shut off. Her constant tossing and turning had aroused a few groans of annoyance from Ivy. She ignored them.

She's thinking of you. You're all Ally thinks about. Not the woman of whom she wed, promised to spend the rest of her life with, not her. You. Oh to be married to you, she thinks.

There was a time when Ally had been so unbelievably in love with Ivy it hurt. It was enchanting. Ally had found the strength within herself to face her fears, to overcome her phobias, and maybe that's the reason why Ally's adoration for her wife had begun to dissipate. Ivy had been the one to guide her through each depressive episode, to soothe her through each panic attack, but now Ally had saved herself. She was no longer dependent on Ivy. Maybe that's what it was, dependency. Not love. Then there's Ozzie, the sweet little boy they share. Thinking of her son brings a smile to Ally's face. Oz would adore you. Ally knows it. Your kindness and your goofiness would be sure to capture her child's heart, in the same way you had so effortlessly claimed hers as your own.

—

It had been almost two years since your affair with Ally had started. She had come into your life unexpectedly. You met her in a restaurant, her restaurant. It was a favourite of yours, but soon enough the quality of food wasn't the reason why you had found yourself returning. Again, and again.

It was just a one night stand. Until one turned to two, then two turned to ten and years later you're still playing the same dangerous game. Except you don't seem to be winning. You have lost yourself. Loving Ally has been both a blessing and a curse. Your heart aches for her presence and her love. But your mind knows that the strain is becoming too much to bare. She has a wife, a child, a career- and a good one at that. What could you possibly give her that would be worth an ounce of what she already has? What more could you do to make the woman you love stay?

You knew about Ivy. You knew about Ozzie. So it's your own fault, your own actions had resulted in your own suffering. Most people would have put an end to it, but Ally was addicting. You needed her to survive, you've been so foolish to allow things to get this far. You know you need to walk away. Except you don't know if you have the capability, and that's what frightens you the most.

Today, you locked your phone away. It took copious amounts of self control (which hadn't ever come easy to you). You simply had far too much work to catch up on, and the possibility of Ally, the temptation to reach out could not get in your way. Your heart sank when you pulled out your phone at dinner time.

Can I come over tonight? x

Are you ignoring me?

I'd really like to see you.

Tonight you had plans, dinner with a friend. When they had suggested dinner at Ally's restaurant, you had almost considered cancelling, but you didn't. So that was where you were going to end up.

You reply to Ally, explaining you have plans already, and that you will see her another day. When she replies with a sad face emoji, you almost consider bailing on your friend and telling Ally to come over, almost. You type out a quick 'sorry' message, and that is the end of that.

—

Ally didn't sleep a wink last night, her mood was on a fast decline, Ivy didn't seem to be too chipper today either. Two moody women under the same roof? Ally blew. They fought. There can be no progression without confrontation, as they say. Ivy demanded divorce, and in those few words, Ally knew that she was free.

Ally called you, you didn't answer. She tried again, nothing. She sent a message, no response. She tried a second, third, fourth. Had you given up on Ally? It was hours later when you had responded and Ally jumped. She was immediately disheartened to learn that you had other plans. She needed to see you. Ally needed to distract her mind and she knew Ivy wasn't going to be working tonight, so she threw herself into work. She called up the restaurant and she let them know that she'll be picking up a shift.

—

This wasn't really where you wanted to be. In this restaurant, listening to your friend complain about the minuscule problems she and her boyfriend have been facing. Your issues would wipe the floor with her issues. How can one complain about their boyfriend watching too much sport? Have you ever been hopelessly in love with a married woman? No? Didn't think so.

She shuts up, finally.

"How have you been?" Don't ask that.

Before you get a chance to reply, you're interrupted.

"Are you ladies ready to order?" That voice, it's too familiar. Fuck. Ally. She's looking right at you, a sparkle in her eye. You presumed that her wanted to spend the evening with you meant that there wasn't a chance of a potential run-in at the restaurant. Oh, how wrong. She's so calm. How can she be so calm? Your friend orders a cocktail of some sort and a pasta dish.

"I'll just have the same." You're trying to avoid her face. She has the composure of a queen, and you're on the verge of a full blown panic attack. And if things couldn't get worse, Ally plucks the menu from your fingertips and turns to the cocktail section.

"I'd recommend The Leg Spreader, it's mostly tequila, you seem like a tequila girl." A wink. She winks. You want the ground to swallow you up. It's a joke right? A sick joke. No. She holds the menu out for you to see for yourself, there is an actual cocktail on the menu called The Leg Spreader.

"I'll pass."

"That's a shame." Ally grins, her eyes still holding that same sparkle, and even when she walks away- you know that she's still grinning. She has riled you up, and she's revelling in it.

"Alright, what the fuck was that?" Your friend asks, you're not sure if you want to laugh, or cry.

"I have no idea." Whatever Ally is doing, she needs to stop.

The rest of the night goes by quickly. The meals had been finished and the alcohol had started to kick in. This made conversation flow smoother, the experience a little nicer. Your friend had been picked up by her boyfriend. She offered you a ride home, but you politely declined, insisting you call an Uber instead. She had gone, and you had stayed. Ally had been behind the bar for a little while now, and you find yourself approaching it and setting yourself down on one of the barstools.

"Did you know I was coming here?" You ask, Ally turns upon hearing your voice.

"How would I? Did you know I was here?"

"Presumed you wouldn't be." You mutter.

"Well then what a pleasant coincidence." You used to believe that coincidence meant that you were on the right path. This? Well, who knows. "Will you try The Leg Spreader now, darling?" That silly little grin.

"You need to stop."

"Stop what?" Sickly sweet, feigning innocence.

"You know what." Ally tuts at your comment, disregarding it completely. You can't do this. You tell Ally you're going to the bathroom in an attempt to regain what shred of composure you have left. The alcohol was not helping, despite prior opinions.

You don't make it to the bathroom. Before you reach the door, you're pulled away by a strong grip on your wrist, pulled into another room. The office. Ally uses her foot to close the door and she snakes her arm around you to lock it, all while her mouth is on yours. Ally kisses you with so much passion, so much fire. And maybe you're a fool to submit so easily but in this moment, being a fool didn't seem so bad. Not when her mouth is devouring you like it is, not when her hands are wandering aimlessly like they are. Ally's lips leave yours before moving to your neck.

You're not interested in another secret rendezvous, another meaningless fuck. You have fallen too hard for it to remain unimportant.

"Ally." Ally hums in response. "Ally." You say firmer this time, as firm as you can but Ally does not stop. You pull away, breathing irregular. You can still feel her mouth on you, you can still feel the heat of her skin against your own. 

"Sweetheart?" You bury your face in your hands. What do you do?

"I- I can't."

"Can't what?" A single tear rolls down your cheek. Ally's expression switches from confused, to concerned. She looks like she wants the reach out for you, she resists. "Baby, why are you crying?" The gentle lull to her tone is softer than you have ever heard her speak. You imagine that's the sort of way she speaks to her son when he's upset, or sick. "Tell me what to do, let me help. Please don't cry." She does move closer this time, cautiously, like you would run if she moved too fast. The tears continue to fall. The weight of the sadness, the yearning, the love crushing you with their unbearable weight.

"I want you to stay."

"I'm right here."

"I need you to stay."

"I'm here." She uses her thumb to brush at a tear.

"But you won't."

"I don't understan-"

"You won't stay if I told you I loved you."  

It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to be so painful- yet despite it all, you know that it's Ally. It has always been Ally, it will always be Ally.

You meet Ally's face, afraid of what she might say in response. It's emotionless, that can't be a good sign. Suddenly, the harsh reality of the situation hits you full force, like a brick to the face. Ally is married, she has a son.

"Oh god- I- I need to." You fumble for the door handle behind you, but Ally takes hold of your arm, halting your actions. Preventing you from leaving.

"I'm getting a divorce." You open your mouth to speak but a manicured finger is placed on your lips. "Let me finish darling. I'm getting a divorce. I don't love Ivy, the love was gone a long time ago. I hated myself every time I left you, I wanted to stay with you, forever, I did. I do. How am I supposed to stay married to Ivy when you're the one that I love? I'm ashamed of the way we've done this, I don't even know your favourite colour, I know nothing about where you're from or who your family is. The one thing I do know, the one thing I'm certain of, is that I am so in love with you Y/N."

It was like you had been awakened.

"You mean it?"

"I've never been so sure of anything in my whole life."

Loving Ally had been a whirlwind of pain, grief and longing. Yet, loving Ally had been beautiful. None of that mattered anymore, for you would be loving Ally, for the rest of your life.

[littlepadika]

Okay my little sweet P, I know we’ve talked about it but I just can’t get it outta my head of some good fake dating 👚, with of course my precious bby Frankie 🌹, and make me YEARN. 📔 ilyilyilysm and congrats on the 500 again, you deserve it and more💜💜💜

Just remember you asked for this Mel. I have the defibrillator on standby.

500 follower celebration (closed now)

Warnings: yearning, jealousy, peek of angy frankie, ends fluffy, Spanish speaking fem reader, fake dating, dilf Frankie, frankie's daughter has a chronic illness, discussion of addiction/ptsd, vomiting (tw emetophobia), height difference.

AN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Queen Mel!!!! May you run off into the sunset with a shirtless Frankie :)

"Rosalia?" You pushed open the door. Sitting on the exam table was the cutest little girl you had ever seen (and you were a pediatrician so the bar was pretty high). She beamed when you came in. She was one of those kids who loved coming to the doctor's office. You always gave her a lolly at the end and if there were shots involved, she got a stuffed animal. You had been Rosalia's pediatrician since she was born. Nowadays you only ever saw her with her father, Frankie. You knew there was a divorce and it seemed Rosie's mom was not around as much. You didn't ask for details if it wasn't necessary to Rosie's health.

When Rosie was diagnosed with diabetes Frankie was obviously overwhelmed with all the steps and medications. You gave him your number so he could call with even stupid questions and he did call many times. Since then you've been steadily deepening your crush for the man. Every glimpse into his life only confirmed what you loved about him. Today, you couldn't stop from beaming when you saw Frankie sitting in the chair next to the exam table, handsome and shy like always. He was wearing a short-sleeve shirt today which drew your attention to his thick arms.

"Hey." Frankie waved before standing up. "Thanks for seeing us on such short notice." He fiddled with his hat nervously. He was always nervous around you. From the moment he met you he thought you were the most beautiful and smartest woman in the world. After his divorce, his world shrank but you were still in it. His initial attraction twisted and burrowed into his heart with every interaction until he was finding stupid reasons to go to the doctor's office. Calling you with increasingly dumb and empty complaints.

"No problem. I saw you called the advice line. Her blood sugar's been a little low?"

"Yeah-" Frankie pulled up Rosie's shirt revealing the insulin pump attached to her. "I'm not sure if this thing is on the fritz or what. It's fully powered and it goes off when it's supposed to."

You felt around the area it was inserted, watching for signs of discomfort. You tickled Rosalia's belly making her giggle. "Does your tummy hurt, Rosie? ¿duele esto?"

"No," Rosie said, looking up at Frankie for reassurance. He gave her a nod.

"And she's been fine? No symptoms."

"Yeah, she seems fine." Frankie rubbed the back of his neck, ruffling Rosie's hair. "I don't know maybe I'm just paranoid."

"You're a good father, Frankie." You smiled. "It's only natural for you to worry." You stepped back behind the computer, reviewing the tests done. "Her blood sugar looks good based on the labs we did today. She's not having any symptoms we would find concerning. I'll go ahead and call the manufacturer and they can have someone run you through some of the common issues."

"Thanks." Frankie sounded relieved. "I had a feeling it was nothing. I just like to hear it from you, hermosa."

"You're too sweet." You stammered, feeling your heart flutter in your chest at the little pet name. He used it sparingly but that made it all the more special. "Let me finish up her exam real quick then you're good to go."

You come back to the table pulling your stethoscope off your neck. Rosie had gotten over her fear of you, sitting up straight so you could listen.

"Thank you for sitting so still, Rosie."

"I listen too?" She reached out with a grabbing motion.

"Say please, mija." Frankie added.

"Pwease." Rosie added.

"Of course." You helped her put in the earpieces and guided her little hand holding the bell towards your chest. You loved watching her face light up when she heard your heartbeat. "How do I sound, Dr. Rosie?"

"Good!" She looked up at you with wide eyes still listening to your steady lub dub. Frankie watched the scene warmly, feeling his heart clench when you looked over at him trying to share your amusement with him. Rosie was introverted, like her father, but she loved you. She often asked Frankie to go and see you even though nothing was wrong. She wanted to be a doctor now, giving her stuffed animals checkups and playing the most with her doctor Barbie.

"Papa you next." Rosie turned to him holding the bell.

"Oh thank you, Dr. Rosie" Frankie chuckled letting his daughter place the bell onto his chest. You took her hand and guided up a little higher to where his heart was. He was so tall. You blushed furiously when your fingers grazed his warm muscled chest. Frankie met your eyes and gave you a small smile.

"Papa you heart very fast." Rosalia said after you took back the stethoscope.

"Is it?" Frankie blushed, knowing exactly why his heart was beating so fast. "What should I do, Dr. Rosie?"

"Take medicine."

"Oh thank goodness there's a cure!" Frankie pretended to be extremely relieved making you and Rosalia giggle.

"Does your heartbeat fast often?" You asked catching Frankie's brown eyes as he lifted Rosie onto the ground.

"Only when I'm here it seems..." He trailed off, ducking under his hat. There was a low tug in your stomach when you considered your involvement in his heart rate. "How-how was um that charity thing you were doing last month?" Frankie asked desperately searching for something to keep him talking to you.

"It was good!" You brightened at his mention of it. "We raised 20,000. Thanks for asking. I was disappointed you didn't make it."

"Yeah Rosie's mom couldn't take her and it was too late to find a sitter." Frankie explained guiltily though he was pleased that you noticed he wasn't there. Rosie looked in between her papa and the pretty doctor. Even though she was only three she was perceptive enough to know her papa really liked you.

"Papa can she come to my birfday party?" She pointed up at you with her tiny pointer finger.

"What?" He looked down at his daughter. "Oh no Rosie. She's very busy."

"I'd love to come." You smiled at the little girl as she clapped her hands together in delight.

At that point, the nurse came back in. She led Rosie to the front desk to pick out her piece of candy. Frankie used that moment alone with you to say:

"Seriously you don't have to come, hermosa."

"I want to. But I don't want it to be weird. Like if i'm the only single person there." You winced at the word hearing your mother's voice in your ear. You can't stay single forever, mija.

"You won't be." Frankie blurted out before he explaining. "It's at my ex wife's house so it'll be her and her new husband...I'm the odd one out."

"Oh-" you latch onto the detail about his ex wife. "I didn't know Laura married. I'm sorry- I mean- that sounds awkward."

"Yeah." He laughed weakly, massaging the back of his neck. His eyes flickered over to you then back to the floor. His heart was soaring with the information that you were single. "So... actually it would be nice for you to be there so I'm not the only loner."

"Maybe we can be loners together." You teased. "It would get my mom off my back. She's thinks I never go out."

"Yeah Laura thinks I'm a deadbeat at this point." Frankie smiled crookedly and shrugged.

"You're not a deadbeat, Frankie." You shook your head in disbelief. "You're an amazing father and a good man. I mean-" You blush bright red as he straightens up to your praise. "You run your own business and volunteer at the VA that's incredible."

"Doesn't mean much to her. Her husband is in 'finance'." Frankie put air quotes around the word emphasizing how pretentious Laura was. He rolled his eyes at the absurdity of his ex wife. The sad things was it actually got to him. Between always looking behind his back for relapse and constantly avoiding triggers, he felt like he wasn't doing enough for Rosalia. You must have noticed his dimming light.

"And I'm a doctor. ¡Vaya cosa! I should pretend to be your girlfriend and you can brag about me."

"Y-yeah uh that- that would be funny." Frankie hunched over, nerves frying his speaking ability.

"Hablo en serio, Frankie." You touched his bicep, brushing the soft skin briefly. There was something so attractive to you the way he looked so bashful. The apples of his cheeks were dusted with a blush and his eyes were wide and curious. It made your thoughts go straight to the gutter. You willed yourself to focus. You refused to let Frankie feel bad about himself. If only he saw himself the way you did. "She shouldn't get away with making you feel bad."

"You'd do that?" His eyes softened as he looked at you. Afraid to even hope you could be telling the truth.

"Of course." You shrugged barely holding yourself back from adding: I'd do anything for you, Frankie. "Just give the signal and I'll initiate mission supportive girlfriend."

Frankie burst out laughing drawing looks from the nurses and medical techs walking by.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You pulled up to the address Frankie sent you. There were several cars in the driveway already. You checked yourself in the small mirror, chiding yourself for being so silly. It's not like this was a real date. It was a children's birthday party for god sake. But Frankie would be there and you wanted to show him you were more than a tired woman in a white coat. It had been so long since you had dressed up for anything other than work. You surprised yourself with how good you cleaned up.

You followed the sign to the backyard and heard the dim screaming of children grow louder. Your eyes widened at the sight. There were lots more people here than you thought. At least 20 people milling about with children running in every which way. There was a large bouncy house where most of the kids were. You tried to search for Rosie's dark curls in the crowd. Maybe she was inside the bouncy house.

"Hey, hermosa." You turned. There was Frankie once again making your heart stall and then pound with a vengeance. He gave you a small wave. He was gorgeous today. He was gorgeous every day but he looked better in the sunlight than in office lights. He was wearing a light blue short sleeve shirt, a color you'd never seen on him before but instantly loved. He ditched the hat, his brown curls messy but still framing his face beautifully. His eyes crinkled when he smiled at you. You noticed him take a quick glance down your body and you were suddenly very glad you wore a sundress.

"Hi." You walked over to him.

"Thanks for coming." He looked around before deciding to pull you into a hug. Your "of course" was cut off when his arms enveloped you, and his heady cologne filled your nose. He was warm and firm against you. You couldn't help but rub your cheek subtly against his exposed neck needing skin on skin.

"There's uh-" he pulled back instantly putting a hand on the back of his neck. He was nervous. "-beer and stuff on that table and oh- I can take that." He took your package from you pausing when he saw the wrapping paper. "Barbie? She's gonna love this."

"I remember you saying she was obsessed."

"Yeah. She's working her way up to a barbie museum at this rate. I'll put this with the rest of the gifts and uh- meet at the drink table?"

"Yeah." you nodded. You walked past the other parents, none of whom you recognized, and poured yourself some lemonade.

"Excuse me." you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around. Facing you was Rosie's mother, Laura. You recognized her but damn she looked different. Her hair was lighter and down instead of her pulled back like it usually was. "I thought I recognized you!" She pulled you into a short embrace. Much stiffer than Frankie's hug.

"Yeah! Um-Frankie invited me or I should say Rosalia invited me."

"Well... welcome. I don't think you've met my new husband, Dan. He's over there." She pointed over by the grill at the blonde guy flipping burgers.

"No I haven't. Congrats."

"Thanks. Gosh it's been so long! I don't do the doctor thing anymore. But yeah I've been great. I'm really happy. Frankie's probably been really torn up though."

"Uh..." you had no idea how to answer that but thankfully she just kept talking. She always did like talking.

"He doesn't like Dan. I think he always hoped we'd get back together. But that's always been his problem."

You couldn't help but frown at that. He never gave that indication when he talked about his ex. If anything he had emphasized how much happier he was. Laura kept talking and you wondered where Frankie was. you were in need of a rescue.

"But i think it's important for Rosie to have a solid male presence in her life. She's not going to get a family experience with Frankie."

You bristled at that comment. Frankie was an amazing father in his own right. If only Laura knew everything that Frankie had been through and what he did to make sure all of Rosie's medications were in order.

"I think Frankie is providing all that Rosalia needs." You piped up. "He's an incredible dad."

"He's definitely way better than he was." Laura backtracked. "As you know." She stopped talking to take a sip of her lemonade. You used the short window of time to say something about finding a bathroom and hustled into the crowd. You intercepted Frankie by the cake.

"Permission to initiate mission supportive girlfriend."

"What happened?" Frankie smirked.

"Just... Laura."

"What did she say?" Frankie's smile turned to grimace.

"Nothing- I mean- she's just too smug. It's pissing me off." You stepped closer to Frankie as someone walked by, almost chest to chest. He inhaled sharply at the contact. "So... do I have your permission, sir?"

Frankie gulped at your word choice though he was curious to see how this would play out. Maybe get some practice in for when he could really ask you out. "Permission granted."

You looked over your shoulder. Laura was watching you.

"Target is in my line of sight." You whispered, continuing with your game. Frankie chuckled though choked up when you took his hand in yours holding it out to the side where it was visible. "This okay?"

"Y-yeah." He nodded. His heart was doing that thing again. The acrobatics inside his chest. Your smaller hand fit perfectly in his, fingers laced up in his tightly. Your mischievous eyes flitted back over your shoulder. Laura was still watching. "Status report?" He prompted lowly.

You knew he was trying to be surreptitious but the way his voice dropped an octave set all of your nerves on end. You chanced a glance up at his eyes which were darker. His pupils were wider. You knew biology. You knew what that meant.

"Target is pissed off." You giggled swinging his hand in yours back and forth playfully.

"Diablita." Frankie squeezed your hand.

For the next hour you and Frankie were glued at the hip, whispering in each others ears, swinging your joined hands back and forth. The little ruse enclosed both of you in a pink bubble, blocked from the rest of the world. You were enjoying yourself immensely. Just being so close to him and not having to overthink why. Rosalia bounded over and requested to sit with you two during cake time. You laughed at Frankie's tone deaf rendition of Happy Birthday finding the little lilt in his voice when he said "happy birthday dear Rosieee" the cutest thing. In one instant you saw a future more vivid than your dreams. You and Frankie birthday after birthday. Holding his hand because you could not because it was pretend.

You fell into your role of proud girlfriend bragging endlessly about Frankie to the mothers sitting next to you. Frankie shoveled cake into his mouth to keep his head down. Otherwise everyone would see his flaming cheeks. Your praise was so sincere. He knew it wasn't part of the game. Each word tugged low in his stomach. He shifted in his chair.

"Frankie is so strong. We didn't need a moving company."

"Frankie could fix your car for you. He's really good. He owns the auto shop down on Langston street. Yeah. That big place there. It's all gibberish to me. He says my medical jargon is gibberish. It's cute."

Once Rosalia had finished her cake she tugged Frankie's hand to go play cornhole with her. You watched them go momentarily distracted from the conversation.

"You really love him." Laura had taken Frankie's empty seat.

"Yeah." You replied completely honestly. "I do."

"Just- I'm not gonna say anything you know him. I want him to be happy."

"He is happy." You assured her, not wanting her to continue looking down on him.

"You know he always had a bit of a thing for you. I'd catch him looking at your website profile sometimes."

"Oh." You blinked rapidly. "Really I mean- that early on?"

"Yeah. I guess it was meant to be."

You smile to yourself, hope burning through your veins. You stand up ready to go join Frankie and Rosalia, a new pep in your step. Halfway across the lawn you're cut off.

"Hey lab partner."

"Oh my gosh! Jeff!" You recognize the man standing before you. He was your classmate in medical school. "Hi!'

Frankie frowned watching you and this mystery man interact. He couldn't help the slow burn of jealousy that permeated his brain when you giggled and did your cute little look down. Who the fuck was this guy? He thought he was the only one who made you laugh like that.

He threw the bean bag a bit harder at the wooden frame, watching it fall straight through the hole. He looked back. You were still smiling and talking to this guy. If you were really his girlfriend he'd be marching over there and puffing out his chest. He'd break this guys hand in his own before dragging you inside. The bathroom. Your dress up your ass. Fuck... he wished it could happen but this was just a game. Apparently, one you were fine playing until something better came along.

"Daddy it's your turn." Rosie tugged on the hem of his shirt.

"Sorry, mija." He tossed another bean bag into the center hole. "Your turn." He looked down. "Mija... Rosalia!" She had thrown up all over her shoes.

"Oh shit." Frankie muttered lifting his daughter in his arms, not giving a damn about the vomit. He knew the monitor was on the fritz. He needed to get to the back up monitor. Check everything was okay. He stormed past you his frustration and jealousy flaring up.

"Frankie- what's going on?" You asked.

"She threw up. You would know if you were paying any attention." He snapped, not staying around to see the hurt flash through your eyes. You excused yourself following Frankie inside.

He had the glucose strips out, already taking a sample from her little finger. You watched.

"Normal." Frankie reported with a relieved sigh. "¡gracias a Dios! Too much cake huh mija?"

"My dress, Papa." Rosie sniffled looking down at the ruined fabric.

"Here- let me." You went to the sink, wetting a paper towel. The tension between you and Frankie hung heavy over your chest. You could see him fuming, gears turning. You knew rationally he was just stressed. You wiped off Rosie's dress to the best of your ability. Frankie gave her water out of her sippy cup.

Laura came in to diffuse some of the tension.

"Oh did Rosie puke?"

"Yeah." Frankie nodded.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. She's fine. I thought she may have been hypoglycemic but it's fine."

"Okay great. Must have had too much cake."

"Yeah." Frankie stood up, walking away from you to the other end of the kitchen. You felt your eyes prickle with angry tears at his childishness. What had you done to offend him so?

"Rosie..." Laura for once was perceptive enough to see something was brewing between her ex and his 'girlfriend'. "Let's let Papa get cleaned up." She picked up Rosie from off the table forcing you to pause your clean up. The screen door slammed shut and the unbearable silence set in.

"You have puke on your shirt." You observed, moving back to the sink to get a fresh paper towel.

"It's fine."

You waited, letting the water run through the flimsy towel, expecting him to apologize at any moment. Nothing happened. You huffed turning the faucet off. You prepared your voice.

"I'm sorry. Whatever I did to piss you off. Was it something I said to one of the mom's or something?"

"No." Frankie growled falling back into the kitchen chair. You approached him tentatively like you did a scared five year old about to get a shot. "What are you doing?"

"Cleaning you off, tonto." You chuckled kneeling between his legs and swiping off the vomit. Frankie swallowed hard at the sight of you between his legs. "Take off your shirt please." You instructed, after the towel wasn't doing the trick. You bit your lip holding back a whine as he obeyed, revealing his naked chest to you. Broad shoulders, strong pecs, a slight stomach, dark hair around his navel going down. You wanted to lean forward and taste his golden skin. It would be so easy. Just like bragging about him, holding his hand, and falling in love with him was easy. It happened without any thought at all. Like it was always there.

Instead you took his shirt and stood, going back to the sink. You were sure he must have seen your flushed cheeks and dilated pupils. He must have. You toss the shirt into the sink and turn on the faucet.

"I shouldn't have snapped like that." Frankie said, getting you to stop and look back at him in his shirtless glory. "I'm sorry, hermosa. I was-"

"Stressed. I know." You blushed turning your eyes away. "You care about Rosie."

"No, hermosa" Frankie shook his head, standing. He was next to you in two long strides, invading your space. His cologne fainter after the day, his true scent coming through musky and demanding. Your body reacted accordingly. "You were talking to that guy. I-I didn't like that." Frankie's eyes trailed down your flushed chest and rapidly rising chest. Did you like that?

"Why didn't-" You cleared your throat turning off the faucet. "Why didn't you come and stop me?" You tensed for his response but none came. You chanced a glance up, never more aware of the height difference than you were now. You could see his eyes trained at the ground, his throat swallowing back words.

Slowly, slowly, you placed your palm on his chest, over his heart. Bare skin on bare skin. Your hand burned a hole through him.

"Your heart is beating really fast." You remark, slowly putting your ear where your hand was.

"It always does. Around you." He murmured shutting his eyes. His arm snaked around your waist pulling you fully flush against him. "I think the mission failed."

You peeled your head from his chest, questioning.

"You didn't get Laura jealous, hermosa. You just made me jealous instead."

"My mission..." You chuckled, silencing with a finger over his plump lips. "was to see if what I felt for you was real. And it is real. Everything I said about you today was true. I think you're perfect. Perfect for me. I'm- I really like you, Frankie." You planted a kiss on his collarbone after running out of words.

"I really like you too!" Frankie answered quickly, tightening his hold on you. His brain caught up with what was going on. You were in his arms. Finally. You wanted him. He had a million questions. A million fears.

"Your heart is still going fast." You whispered, tracing down the center of his chest to his belly. It tensed beneath your touch.

"What-what are you gonna do about it, doctor?"

You grinned, pulling his head down as you rose onto your toes. His lips slotted into yours perfectly, warm and firm. You got his mouth open, tasting him for the first time. He was sweet from the birthday cake.

His hips rocked against you. "Fuck...I'm sorry. I've wanted this for a long time."

"It's okay." You smiled. "Although having sex in your ex wife's kitchen would not be in good taste."

"Right...how about a bed? M-my bed?" Frankie looked hopeful.

"Yes please." You kissed him again.

"Laura has Rosie. Let me quick borrow one of Dan's ugly ass button ups." he groaned.

"No I like you shirtless. Much sexier." You leaned down and licked his sternum up to his neck.

"Shit... bebita we're not gonna make it home if you keep that up."

Needless to say the birthday party guests got a good glimpse of Frankie jogging down the driveway with no shirt on, you in close pursuit. What? They already knew you were dating. Actually, they technically knew before you.

Frankie did a look back hoping that dumbass guy who dared to flirt with you was watching. For once in his life he wasn't self conscious. Your little laugh behind him spurred him on. His mind already racing with what he planned on doing to you when he got you alone. Happy Birthday indeed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My masterlist

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[siimjaeyun]

VOLUME TWO: ICE ICE BABY

synopsis: all you've ever wanted was to be good enough for jake sim, the captain of the soccer team, and the boy any girl would kill to be with. the issue? you know he's only with you to get back at his ex and have an eye candy around his arm. but when his friend sunghoon is back at school, maybe he'll teach you that you're more than just a pretty trophy.

masterlist

You manage to release another sigh as you make your way inside your home.

Jake had bailed on you for the third time this week, doing so at least two to four times for the past three months and you were tired of it. Half of the time it was because of practice and the others were due to excuses you're pretty sure he pulled out of his ass.

You wanted to text the group chat but figured you didn't want to add to the hatred your three best friends already had towards said male boy.

You didn't have any work to do, so for a change in sceneries you head to the local ice rink, the only possible place you think of as your second home.

Once entering, the scent of ice and water touch on the memories of your last summer. Yet you don't pay attention to the bittersweet feelings when the ice rink owner approaches you.

"Y/n! How have you been, it's been quite a while since I last saw you." She takes a good luck at you, admiring your smile in particular.

"I've been well, just busy with school and some other stuff."

"Well you know you're always welcome here and if you ever want your job back just say the word? You should head inside, there's only one other student in there." You nod your head and bid farewell while picking up a pair of ice skates and heading inside.

Too engrossed in the feeling of the ice under you as you open the gate to skate, you don't catch the boy staring at you.

"My, my do we meet again?" You glance up and find none other than Sunghoon with a smirk on his face.

"Hello to you too Sunghoon." You contemplate whether it be best to run off and come back later, but it's not like you could handle another disappointment.

"Jake never told me his girlfriend skates." You skate past him and keep going before choosing to answer.

"Yeah well I doubt he's talked about me at all. But if you don't mind I'd like to be alone." You try to get past him again but he blocks your view.

"I'm just trying to talk to you? I wanna get to know Jake's pink princess better." His ending comment was your last straw and you shove him, making him lose balance while you exit the rink. You miss his yells to come back and instead go into one of the waiting areas, throwing off your ice skates in frustration.

"Hey hey, I didn't mean to say anything bad "

"Fuck off Park Sunghoon." You say sternly, picking up your skates and trying your best not to cry in front of him.

"Hey, y/n look at me. I'm sorry." Sunghoon abruptly takes a hold of your shoulders and gets you to look at him in the eyes, noticing the guilt painted on his face.

"I know you didn't mean anything, I'm just tired and I hate hearing that name."

"Pink princess?" He questions.

"Exactly. I just want to be here in peace and do me another favor, please don't tell anyone you saw me here. No one can know okay?" Confused, he agrees but still can't help but feel bad for the tension from earlier.

"But on one condition." Sunghoon leaves the room and you choose to follow him up a flight stairs, considering that there's a possibility he could murder you then and there.

"That condition is for you to keep this a secret." He holds a key out and opens the door which leads to the area right above the skating rink for you to see on both sides.

"I thought the keys to this place were lost." You ask, amazed by the way all the skaters appear from your sight of view.

"They were, I figured if I knew a secret than you should too." He goes to the cabinet, and pulls out a sheet and some pillows for the both of you to sit.

"So, if we're on a secret basis, then tell me about yourself." You were surprised by his question to say the least, since most people could care less about any of your actual thoughts.

"Well what do you want to know? Aside from my utter hatred for the nickname?"

"Why don't you want to tell people you know how to skate? As an ice skater it's kind of offensive." He fakes being a pain letting you release a small laugh.

"I just think of this as my safe place. When all eyes are on you, there's not much you can do that isn't for yourself like ice skating and song writing."

"You write songs?" A small blush forms on your cheeks as you realize the accidental mention.

"Yeah, but they're not good. It's just my little world I guess, what about you?"

You turn the conversation towards him and find yourself rather entertained. There's a few serious moments, and others where Sunghoon is close to beating you up for teasing him showing a bit of his fangs in the process.

"Okay okay final question, why do you hate the color pink so much? And why do you let Jake talk you into it." You sigh looking at him with your pinky out.

"Pinky promise this stays between us? The only other people that know are my friends Giselle, Sunoo and Jungwon okay?" He agrees, and let's you continue.

"Well, when I was younger and my biological parents were still together, I caught my dad cheating on my mom with another woman in their bedroom. Later, my dad divorced my mom, got remarried and abandoned us to make a new family...the color the woman always wore was pink. Her lingerie was pink that day I caught them, when they got divorced I met her in the lobby in a pink dress and their wedding dress was also pink. Pink is to me a color of false promises, it's a symbol that love doesn't exist," you say honestly before answering his second question, "I wear pink because Jake said it's my best color or it's what he repeated often. I'm so pressured to be good enough that I make myself wear pink thinking it'll prove something. And that is pretty much everything there is to know."

"Thank you for trusting me y/n. And rest assured that everything is safe with me." He holds your hand and you became startled when his phone rings.

"My mom is calling me to come home. It's almost ten o clock." Your eyes widen as you confirm the hour, exiting the room instantly with Sunghoon.

"Hey sunghoon, thanks for listening." Sunghoon just smiles and hands you a sticky note.

"My number. I'm here anytime. We might only know each other for a day, but I can tell there's a lot more to you than meets the eye." He walks away and you head home, inputting his number almost instantly.

Maybe Park Sunghoon wasn't that bad.

------

taglist: @abdiitcryy @nyfwyeonjun @pinkhyunie @hobistigma

[robert-de-niro-only-fans]

Ace of Hearts

Sam “Ace” Rothstein x Reader

Hi guys! Corny title, I KNOW, but I’m so incredibly happy to finally be posting this. I’ve been working on it since December, and it’s probably the longest thing I’ll ever write! Just to give you a quick rundown: it’s based off of Casino so you’ll see some familiar events and verbiage, but it’s told out of order to fit what I wanted and there’s a new character (Miss y/n). I have worked so so hard on this, so I hope you all love it! Thank you so much!

TW: smut, anything in Casino that triggers you may be in here, violence, injury, drinking, smoking, drugs, death, threats, cheating/affair, divorce, cursing, etc.

Word Count: 17.9k

"(Y/N)! Good evening, it's nice to see you, hun," Sam says, wrapping his arms around your waist for a hug and giving you a kiss on the cheek, "Looking beautiful as always." You place a hand on his chest, taking in the scent of his cologne; he always smelled good and expensive.

You are at Sam's casino, The Tangiers; he had invited you for dinner, like he does regularly. You and Sam are good friends; you met through Billy, the casino manager, and so Sam invites you to dinner there quite often. When it came to the casino, he was quite the social butterfly: always wanting to show the casino off to people and being extremely hospitable so that word-of-mouth would travel and bring new people in.

"Thank you, Sam, how have you been since I last saw you?" Most people call him Ace, but he had introduced himself you as Sam, for some reason, so it just stuck.

"Really good, actually, I have some news for you," you had become a person that Sam likes to confide in; he trusts you, and he says it's nice to get a woman's perspective.

"And what is that?" you ask with a smile as you head towards your usual table.

"I'm dating someone," he says with a grin, trying not to be too proud of himself.

"Sam! Really? You found a girl?!" you stop, taking his hand, waiting for details.

"Yeah, we just got together a few weeks ago. She's... Well, she's like me, I guess," you both start walking towards the table again, "She's driven and she's got a big presence when she walks in a room. And she's just got this spark; I don't know what it is about her."

"Ah, he must be going on about Ginger," Billy says as you walk up to where he's seated, waiting on you, "yeah, he was starstruck the moment he laid eyes on her."

"She'll be here soon; I'd like you to meet her," Sam says to you. Despite being a very confident man, there were certain people he likes to get approval from; you feel honored to be one of those people.

So, you take your seats at the table, and as promised, Ginger is there only a little while later. You can tell it's her; she is exactly the way Sam described her. Her tall, blonde figure really captures everyone's attention, especially Sam's.

"Hey, gorgeous," Sam greets her, motioning for her to slide into the booth next you him.

"Hi, Sam," she hands him her clutch purse and sits down, giving him a peck on the lips. He goes around and introduces her to everyone at the table including you. She seems like she has a great personality and excellent people skills, but you couldn't help but feel a little jealous that she called him Sam too. You thought you were the only one, but it makes sense considering she is his girlfriend.

After everyone is settled in and food orders placed, Ginger leans forward so she can see past Sam to talk to you. "(Y/N)?" she says kind of quietly.

"Oh, hey!" you reply casually.

"I just wanted to say," she starts, "Sam talks about you a lot; it's nice to finally meet you, and I hope we can be friends. There aren't a lot girls in this business," she says with a bit of a chuckle at the end.

At that moment you both realize Sam is listening in on your conversation.

"Oh, well, thank you, Ginger. Any girl good enough for Sam must be really spectacular; he's a picky man!"

He puts his arm around her, "Spectacular is a good word to describe her." He takes your hand in one of his for just a moment, squeezing lightly and giving you a happy look, proud that you and her are getting along.

• • •

Over the next few months, you see Sam fall madly in love with Ginger. She couldn't deny that he was a very sweet man who gave her respect and anything should could ever ask for, but you could tell she never reciprocated those feelings as much as Sam. You get the feeling that she loved what he could do for her more than the man he was, but then again, maybe she's just slow to fall in love and you're being overprotective of your friend.

You trust Sam and know that even though he's in love, he'll maintain a level head. He treats everything like a business transaction.

As it turns out, that's exactly how he handles their engagement from what he tells you. You had stopped in for a visit at the casino, so he is sitting with you and catching up before he heads back out to the floor.

"Yeah, I told her that I know her feelings haven't developed as quickly as mine, but that if she lets me marry her, she'll be taken care of for the rest of her life, and she won't have to hustle the streets anymore. The love will come, I know it will," Sam explains to you, although it seemed like that last part was for him.

"And she said yes?" you ask.

"Yes. She said yes. She even agreed to have a baby with me." You'd never seen such a happy look in his eyes; Sam had always wanted a family, and it took a long time, but it's finally happening for him.

While this worried you a bit, you press on, "So, when's the wedding?!" you try to joke.

"Oh, well, uh... In a year at least. We want to have the baby first; it was part of our deal."

"What? Sam," you try to make sense of what he just told you, "you don't find it a little odd that you had to negotiate your own engagement, and that you can't trust her to have a baby with you 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 you're married?"

"I mean, it's unconventional, but that's just Vegas."

"No, love is love, no matter what city you're in. You deserve someone who will love you and respect you as much as you love and respect them. Not many people see it, but you have such a big heart, Sam; don't let someone take advantage of it," you place your hands on his, and his eyes glance up at you. You both share a knowing look. As much as Sam respects your opinion, nothing will stop him once he wants something, and he wants Ginger: her trust, her respect, and her love.

You see Sam and Ginger several times throughout their pregnancy, and honestly, they couldn't be happier. Sam is going to have the baby he always wanted, and Ginger is getting all the attention in the world for carrying Sam Rothstein's child. You think maybe this will solve all their problems.

• • •

Just a few months after the baby was born, you received an invitation to their wedding. You had been by their apartment a few weeks prior to visit and meet the baby, and gosh, she was so cute. Sam lit up when he held her; he was so proud of his baby girl, Amy. But Sam hadn't mentioned anything about a wedding happening so soon, although they do have the money to make one happen quickly.

The wedding is very nice, although it's more of a party than a wedding. Ginger is a socialite, so it only makes sense that there would be more attention on the reception than the ceremony.

You go sit with Nicky and his wife Jennifer so that you can hold the baby, while Sam and Ginger cut the cake and share champage. This is supposed to be a happy moment for them, but you can tell something is off. Maybe it's because they don't have baby fever anymore; parenting is not easy, so that's what you chalk it up to.

As you're making faces getting the baby to giggle, you see Sam sneak off into a back room, presumably looking for Ginger. You continue to entertain their baby while you wait for him to come back; you hadn't really gotten a chance to see him all night, and you want to show your support and congratulate him.

As you chat with Nicky, you see Ginger and Sam return from wherever they had gone; only problem is, they went two different directions and Ginger had clearly been crying. That's not normal behavior for newly weds. Nicky takes notice as well and says, "Eh, uh, why don't you go check on him? I'll take the baby."

And so, you hand him Sam's little bundle of joy, and make your way across the ballroom to your friend. He had been pulled into a conversation that he clearly didn't want to be having, so you tap him on the shoulder and excuse him from the group of people. He puts his hand around your waist as you walk off.

"Dance with me," you say simply, and he happily agrees. You knew you'd be able to talk privately because you'd be so close to him on the dancefloor, and it wouldn't look suspicious like if you swept him away to a different room.

"Trouble in paradise already?" you ask him, "You two have been so happy the past few months, what's going on?"

"Well, I guess maybe she realized this is the end of the road, and that I'm the one she'll be stuck with the rest of her life... Whatever the reason, she felt the need to call her pimp, Lester Diamond," he explains, pursing his lips at the end; he was really frustrated and trying not to show it.

"What did she call him for? She doesn't still love him or something, does she?"

"She says she called him to let him know it was over and that she's married now. He was her first love, and the only thing in this whole world she's got a soft spot for."

"Oh, Sam... You don't deserve that; you don't deserve someone that's holding onto their baggage with someone else."

"Well then maybe I should've married someone like you," he says with a small laugh and a look of longing in his eyes. He pulls you even closer to him, and you hold him a bit tighter in an effort to comfort him.

"You shouldn't say things like that on your wedding day," you say quietly next to his ear.

"But it's true. You've got the looks, the personality, a great heart, but for some reason, I only want Ginger, or at least for a while I did." With that, he stares into your eyes for a little while, before kissing you on your jawline and neck a few times.

After a pause, you say, "Well, I hope that was the last time she calls him. You deserve nothing but the best, but I know how much you love her, so I hope you two will find happiness with one other." You decide not to say anything about the way he implied that he wanted to be with you or the way he just kissed you; maybe that would make it worse. That probably isn't how he really feels; he's probably just speaking from a place of being hurt by Ginger. You stop dancing and hug him, "Congratulations on your big day, it was beautiful and glamorous in way that only Sam Rothstein could do."

You both share a laugh and hopeful smiles. His hand finds yours as you start to walk away, and he gives it a squeeze before letting his arm drop to his side.

"Everything okay?" Nicky asks when you get back to the table.

"Yeah, everything's gonna be fine," there wasn't much point in explaining it to him, he had a thing for Ginger, so he would make excuses for her. Plus it wasn't your news to share, Sam trusted that you would keep his secrets, because that's how you'd always been.

You grabbed your things to leave, and you shot one quick glance back at Sam before heading out. He was hugging Ginger, trying to comfort her; that didn't stop the nasty look she gave you when she saw you looking at her man. "Sadly, he belongs to her now," you think as you take in the cool night air outside the wedding chapel, "legally, at least."

• • •

The next several months of their marriage only take a turn for the worse. The issue isn't that they don't understand each other, it's that they're exactly alike: both strong-minded with the will to get what they want. The issue is that the things they want don't align with the other person's goals. Sam wants a successful casino and to have Ginger's love, but Ginger is someone who can't be tamed; she wants money wherever she can get it, and she wants to be the center of attention.

The thing that works on Sam's nerves more than anything is that Ginger just refused to cut ties with Lester Diamond.

"She just keeps- she- she asked me for all this money, and she won't tell me what it's for," Sam is fuming as he vents to you about his wife, "She knows I would give her anything she wants of she'll just tell me what it's for. She won't be honest with me, and that's how I know she's up to no good."

"What do you think the money is for?" you ask, placing your hand on his. He had come over to your house just to visit and have a few drinks. This has become a regular thing since he married Ginger; he relies on your company and your advice.

"Mmm, it's just a suspicion, but I think it might be for that pimp." He rubs his thumb across the back of your hand as he held it.

"I thought she ended things with him, but I wouldn't put it past her to go behind your back. I'm sorry that you can't trust your own wife; I know you value that so much."

"Well, I'm at least glad to know that someone in this world still has values like me. In a town like Las Vegas, everyone is so cutthroat. Sometimes I think you and Billy are the only ones left with a moral compass."

"You have one too, Sam, and a good heart," you pull him towards you, and he lies across the couch to place his head in your lap. He is only casual like this with a few people, but he finds it fun to kick back and relax with you. He looks up at you while you gently comb your fingers though his hair; eventually it will work the gel out of his hair, but you like it when he let his waves hang loose. "What are you gonna do about her giving Lester that money?"

"Hm, I don't know yet," he answers with raised eyebrows and a shoulder shrug.

"What if you let her have the money?"

"So she can give it to that scumbag?"

"Listen, honey," you chuckle at him, "what if you let her have the money, knowing she's going to give it to Lester, but you and Nicky's guys show up with her. Put him in his place, rough him up, that way he won't come begging on her doorstep again. AND she'll see what happens if she tries to give him your money again."

A surprised look appears on his face, "Damn, baby, you been hanging out with Nicky, taking some notes from him? It almost sounds like you hate my wife or something!" You both laugh together.

Your laughter dies off, and you look down at his face in your lap, "I hate the way she treats you." It's the simple truth; he deserves better.

• • •

A few weeks later, you're at a pool party at Billy's place. Las Vegas summers are hot, so pools are basically a requirement out here.

Normally, Sam brought Ginger to these kinds of things; that's just what you were supposed to do, but you had convinced him to come by himself. At first the thought made him uncomfortable, because he knew it would cause another argument at home, but he also just wanted to get away for a while. And so, he left Ginger with a stack of cash, told her to go shopping, and came over to Billy's.

You don't notice Sam when he first arrives; you're in the pool taking to some of Billy's business associates, some you had met before, some you hadn't. One of these guys has made himself really comfortable with you: grabbing at your hips and trying to keep you close to him. You're used to men like this putting their hands on you, and it's normally very casual, but this guy is being more aggressive than you are used to.

He's putting his arms around you and pulling you really close to his chest. You use your arms as a barrier between you and him; it's really more awkward than anything.

"Excuse me?"

You look over your shoulder to see Sam standing at the edge of the pool.

"Yeah?" the guy asks, adjusting his arm around you once again.

"Would you mind if the lady came with me?" Sam asked, pouring on the charm.

"She's fine here."

"Looks like she'd rather be with me" Sam says giving you a coy look.

The guy look at you, then back at Sam, "And who the fuck are you?" he replies, rudely.

"Someone you don't want to piss off." Sam takes your hand, and you free yourself from this other man. Sam helps you out of the pool and snags a towel for you to wrap yourself up in.

"Thank you for that," you tell Sam as you walk over to a table where Billy and his wife are.

"Eh, I'm sorry that he felt he could treat you like that. He'll be taken care of." You know what that means.

There are several people gathered around the table, people Sam and Billy work with at the casino, but they're also friends. Sam takes a seat in one of the lounge chairs and pulls you into his lap. Everyone at the table says their hello's and Sam whipsers to you, "Thank you for inviting me... And suggesting I leave the wife at home." He rubs a hand across your thighs and the other rests on your back.

This is a crowd that you and Sam are comfortable being close in. You two were always like this before he got with Ginger, so it feels nice to have him close to you again. You gently squeeze at his side, while he lights a cigarette and takes a puff. He offers it to you, but you just smile and shake your head.

"Hey, Billy," Sam starts.

"Yeah, Ace?" he asks, turning his attention to the man next to you.

"You see that dopey ass motherfucker in the pool over there?" Sam asks, pointing with his cigarette between his fingers, "The tall one at the center of that group?"

"Yeah, yeah, I see him. Did he do something?"

"He thought it was okay to make (Y/N) here uncomfortable, and he tried to mouth off at me about it," Sam explains.

"(Y/N), is that true? What did he do to you?" Billy asks you.

"He was just being weird and way too handsy. I tried to get away from him but he would just grab me if I did that. I didn't wanna make a scene though."

Billy turns to look back at the group of guys in the pool, "And all those guys with him just let it happen, huh?" He turns back to you, "It'll be handled. That's unacceptable."

Sam gives your waist a squeeze, and you share a look with him. "You gonna get in the pool at all today?" you ask him, motioning to his outfit: khaki slacks, a button up shirt (unbuttoned a little bit), and a pale pink sports coat.

"I don't know, I'm having a good time right here. You look good in that bikini, baby," he whispers the last part, rubbing his fingers over the string on your back, "it doesn't leave much to the imagination..."

"Just the parts that all you boys want to see," you bite your lip, and you both giggle quietly.

The afternoon goes by with casual conversation as you and Sam lounge back in your chair with you leaning against his chest and your face tucked into the crook of his neck. He keeps his arms around you, as he chats and enjoys some drinks and cigarettes with the guys at the table.

Soon, the sun begins it's descent before the moon comes out, which means the temperature is dropping too. Vegas has some of the hottest days and the coldest nights.

You sit up from your cozy spot against Sam's chest and pluck the cigarette holder from between his lips. He raises his eyebrows at you as you take a drag off of it, then you exhale the smoke at the same time as him.

A warm smile spreads across your face as you return the cigarette to him. "I'm gonna go change," you whisper to him before getting up and heading inside Billy's house.

Upstairs in the bathroom, you take your change of clothes out of your bag and lay them out on the counter. You hear a small knock at the door before Sam enters the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

"Sam? What are you doing?" you ask him.

He walks over and places himself behind you, looking you up and down in the mirror. He wraps his arms around your midsection and rests his chin on your shoulder, making eye contact with you, again in the mirror.

"You're so beautiful," is all he says before one hand travels to your hip, and his lips find your skin. He kisses at your neck slowly but sensually; you close your eyes as your back arches into him. He has you turned on in a matter of seconds; you had never realized you wanted him this bad.

One of his hands slides up your back and pulls the string of your bikini top, untying it and leaving your back bare. Your top hangs on by the knot at the back of your neck.

His kisses grow increasingly sloppy as he becomes more turned on for you. One of his hands cups at the underside of your breast, while the other holds your hips in place. You feel his erection in his pants against your backside, as he unties one of the knots at your hip.

"Sam-" You want him badly, but your conscience won't let you do this. "Sam."

His motions stop and he looks up at you in the mirror. You turn around in his arms so that you can look him in the eyes. With a bittersweet look on your face, you say, "We can't do this. You're married, Sam. We can't do this, especially not in Billy's house."

A look of clarity comes to his eyes as you talk some sense into him. "Yeah, yeah, you're right," he answers. He reaches for a towel and wraps it around your body, as if to cover up the thing that was tempting him. You tie the towel in place and go ahead and remove your bikini, dropping it to the floor. Sam pulls you into a hug, holding your toweled waist tight, "I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'm so sorry."

• • •

The next time you see Sam is just for a normal get-together at The Tangiers. Being the gentleman he is, he treats you as if the incident at Billy's place never happened, and it's best this way; he's one of your best friends after all.

This dinner is anything but normal, however. Ginger had started to catch on to Sam leaving her at home. You got the feeling Nicky was the one who let her in on that secret.

Ginger storms into the casino, making a scene like she always does; she's always been the kind of person you hear before you see when she's angry. Security follows her over as she makes her way to the table with their little girl on her hip. Sam stands up and rushes over to her, in an effort to keep Ginger away from everyone at the table. It doesn't work that well, she continues pushing towards the table as she screams at him about leaving her at home and making her take care of their toddler.

Sam gets the kid from Ginger, and she pushes past him and towards you, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU PUT THE IDEA IN HIS HEAD TO START SNEAKING AROUND ON ME!"

You sit there, completely taken back. You would try to say something, but you wouldn't get a word in as Ginger is letting you have it.

Sam comes over, grabbing Ginger's arm and pulling her to face him, "What the fuck is the matter with you? What the fuck is the MATTER WITH YOU?! Bringing our kid here at this time of night! Screaming at (Y/N)!" He points at you, "You ain't had nothin' to do with her since you met!! And you wanna come in here and blame your problems on her?!"

You had never seen Sam so angry before, screaming at the top of his lungs like this in front of everyone, in his own casino. There was a pause as everyone waited for what was gonna happen next.

Quietly, Ginger speaks, "Oh my God," her voice cracked like she was about to cry, "oh my God, you're defending her..." She turns to walk away, crying into her hands. Sam quickly hands Amy over to you and runs after Ginger.

Security follows them, and everyone at the table sits in silence as you all listen to Ginger yell and cry at Sam on the way outside, "You never defended me! To anyone! For anything! You've never defended me like that!"

• • •

A few days later, flowers show up at your house with a note from Sam.

"I'm so sorry for the other night and how crazy things have been lately. Let's go out and I'll make it up to you. -S. R."

Attached is a reservation card telling you that you're having dinner with him tonight at a small restaurant you used to go to when Sam first moved out to Las Vegas.

"I'm so glad you actually came. I thought maybe you didn't want anything to do with me after Ginger yelled at you like that."

"Have I ever been the type of girl that would blame you for your wife's actions?" you say greeting him with a kiss on the cheek, "it's good to see you all in one piece; I was worried what she might do to you." You both chuckle and sit down at your table.

"I just- uhh, I just wanted to take you out like we used to do before everything got so crazy. Back when I was still getting used to the desert and Billy introduced me to you; it was just simple... and always fun when you were around. So I just thought maybe we could re-live that for a night," Sam explains his reasoning for bringing you here alone.

"Well I think it'll be fun," you say reaching over and giving his hand an encouraging squeeze, "This place always had great food!" You lean back in your seat, slide your heels off under the table, and prop your feet up in Sam's lap across from you. He raises his eyebrows, giving you a look. "Well you said you wanted it to be like old times!" you exclaim.

After dinner and dessert, you both sit back with your bellies full. The food was so rich and lovely; you both ate so much more than you normally would have, but you aren't in the company of anyone fancy so you cut loose.

"You wanna get out of here? I got somewhere I'd like to take you," Sam asks.

"Ooooh, honey, I don't think I can move, I'm so full!" you groan at him, "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere you took me when I first moved here and I needed some peace and quiet from the city."

And with that, you let him take you by the hand and lead you out to his car. When you cruise past the strip and out into the dark dessert, you lean on his shoulder and ask, "You're not gonna whack me, are you?"

"Now, I couldn't tell you if I was. Typically the guy you're gonna whack doesn't ask ya, and typically the guy you're gonna whack is a guy," you both laugh. Tonight really had been like old times.

You slide over and lay down, laying your head in his lap. He put his arm across your chest and shoulder as if you were an arm rest, and he looks down at you. "Eyes on the road, Mr. Rothstein!"

"Yes, ma'am" he cracks a smile and looks up like he's supposed to.

Parked just a few miles out in the desert, Sam gets out the car, grabbing a blanket from the back, and tossing it across the hood of the car. He also grabs an extra jacket for you for when it gets cold.

"Alright, get outta the car," he says, looking at you laid across the front seat of his Cadillac.

"Mmmm... but I'm so cozy here," you whine.

Sam grabs you by your feet and drags you across the seat to pull you up out of the car. Once you're on your feet, he grips both of your shoulders and looks you over, "Princess. You're a spoiled princess, you know that?" He grabs your hips and lifts you onto the hood of the car before walking around and hopping up to sit next to you.

"It's been forever since I came out here... Thank you for bringing me," you tell Sam as you lean back on the windshield of his car and look up at the endless sea of stars in the night sky. Out here in the desert, there was no light pollution, and it was such a clear night, it felt like there were a million stars up there.

"Want this?" Sam asks holding up his extra jacket.

You take it from him and bundle up in it. It was warm and smelled like him, like he had worn it recently or perhaps sprayed his cologne on it.

He put his arm around your shoulders; together, you looked up at night sky and talked, occasionally pointing out constellations or planets.

The lower the temperature drops, the more you snuggle into Sam. Every few moments you glance at each other, sometimes making eye contact and smiling at each other.

"Mm, come here," Sam grumbles pulling you into a full-on cuddle.

"Cold?" you joke.

"Nope, you're just too far away," he nuzzles his nose into your hair and leaves a kiss there.

You turn your head to face him, "Sam."

He places his hand on your cheek and sarcastically replies, "(Y/N)."

Your eyes linger on one another's for what feels like several minutes; for a moment, the whole world fell away and it was just the two of you. You both lean in, gently pressing your lips to one another's. You move your lips together slowly and carefully, as if you might break something. The moment lasts a long time, but not long enough.

Sam pulls back to look at you, "I love you."

You open your mouth to protest, but all that comes out is, "I love you, too."

Without another word, you both agree to not discuss it. Whether you liked it or not, things were about to get complicated, so you both just want things to be simple for the night.

• • •

You had always assumed Sam was the kind of man to take a woman to bed quickly in a relationship. Of course, your relationship is anything but conventional; you'd been friends for years, but now it was obvious those feelings of friendship had been something more all along.

You had spent some time together a few times since your outing to the desert. He greeted you with a kiss each of those times you met up, because you made sure to meet in private; word couldn't get out about this, or it would cause trouble with Ginger and the crime family Nicky and Sam were in. The family wouldn't take so kindly to Ginger causing a big scene over Sam's infidelity.

You and Sam also really wanted to take things slow; you didn't want to ruin a good friendship by rushing. So when he came to your house or you met in his office, you spent a lot of time in his arms, kissing him, and not too much more.

But your job right now is to act like none of that exists, like everything is just the way it's always been. You're at a big celebration for Sam; the gaming commission is giving an award to him for being such an important asset in the success of gambling in Las Vegas. Everyone who knows Sam is there; it's his big night!

As events like this usually go, Sam is at a table on a stage at the front of the room. His closest friends are all sat together: you, Billy, Nicky, Ginger, and a few others. On the surface everything is cool, but you know this mix of people isn't good news.

There are rumors floating around that the FBI agents keeping an eye on Nicky had gotten some pictures of him and Ginger together. Sam didn't want to pry into it; he didn't want another reason to be mad with her. Sam had also recently told you that Ginger's mysterious phone calls had started up again, and she refused to tell him who she was calling at all hours of the day. You and Sam both knew what that meant: Ginger is being anything but faithful to him.

It's a lovely dinner, aside from Ginger's remarks. It's almost like she knows about you and Sam somehow. Every time she mentions him, she makes sure to watch your reaction, and she makes several remarks like, "proud to call him my man," and, "so glad he belongs to me," while staring you down.

In an effort to try and make friendly conversation with Ginger, you lean over you her to say, "You know, I think Sam likes girls like us, because we're both like him: social and in the business. We make what he does look glamorous." You give her a hopeful smile.

She cuts her eyes and hits you with, "No, Sam likes a woman like me; we both came from the streets and had to hustle our way into money. Anyone can be a socialite in a nice gown. Some of us have more to show for it."

Upon hearing that, Billy gives Ginger a look of disapproval and puts his arm around you to comfort you. It couldn't be more obvious that she is trying to get a rise out of you, but you won't stoop to her level making a scene like that.

Ginger leans into Nicky, and you don't say much the rest of dinner.

After the award was presented to Sam and it's time to mingle, you work your way over to Sam, stopping to chat with several people along the way. As you approach him, it seems like the two of you only have eyes for each other. He greets you with a big smile spread across his face, a hug, and a kiss on the cheek.

With his hands on your waist, and your hands on his chest, you tell him, "I'm so proud of you. You work so hard, and you've been so good for Las Vegas."

"Yeah, well, Las Vegas has been good to me," he says looking you in your eyes lovingly, and raising his eyebrows briefly.

What you don't realize is that Ginger sees the whole exchange, but she does something very out of character: she keeps her cool... For now.

• • •

"It was... It was the way you looked at her. You didn't have to look at her like that," Ginger sobs into the pillow on her and Sam's bed.

"How did I look at her? Huh? What did I do?" Sam questions her, pacing around their bedroom.

Ginger shifts to look up at Sam with tear-filled eyes, "Like you love her... You looked at her like you love her."

"Ginger-" Sam starts and pauses to keep his composure, "What do you care how I look at her? You me you didn't love me! And I thought I could change you!"

There was a pause before he continued, "You're not making any goddamn sense; I don't know why I'm trying to talk any sense into you. You been drinkin' all the time, and those fuckin painkillers you took have your brain so fucked up right now... I don't even know why I'm trying; it's not worth it."

"You really feel that way?" she asks quietly.

"Feel what way?"

"That I'm not worth it. You really think that I'm not worth it?" she sits up and pushes some of the hair out of her face.

That small bit of love Sam still had for Ginger creeped back up; he couldn't hurt her like that.

He sat on the bed next to her, "No," he says as he pulls her into his chest, "I don't feel that way." He simply holds her as she cries into his shoulder.

• • •

"I guess she's spread herself too thin," Sam vents to you as you lie on your couch cuddling, "I think the drinking and the drugs are a distraction from all the men she's trying to hold down. She's never been able to keep Lester under control, Nicky is getting all kinds of heat on him with the cops in Vegas, and she's realized I don't love her the way I used to, or maybe the way I thought I did."

The last part was mostly directed at himself; Sam is coming to terms with the decision he made when he married Ginger, and he's realizing that maybe it wasn't love at all. After all, lust isn't built on trust and respect.

"Don't blame yourself for falling for her. She said something to me the other night, and as hurtful as it was, it was true."

"What did she say to you?" he asks, sitting up a bit and furrowing his eyebrows.

"Well, uh, I just told her that I think you like girls like us because we're like you, but we make the business more glamorous. And she told me that you would only like a woman like her because you both worked for the success you have, and that means you and her have more to show for it."

"She said that to you?"

"Yeah, but don't worry about it. If you went to her about it, it would only cause you more problems," you try to get him to relax. There was no point in him getting stressed over it.

He sighs and lays back down, holding you tight, "I'm so sorry she said that to you. It's not true. I think her and I understand each other because of our backgrounds, but I think you know I like you just as much, if not more than I ever liked her."

"I thought you might say something like that. That's why I tried to not let it bother me," you look up and kiss him a few times.

He turns you to lay on your back, and he puts his head on your chest. You run your fingers through his hair on the back of his head.

"I wish we could just run away. I made such a mistake starting a life with Ginger. I meant it-" his voice catches a bit, "I meant it when I told you I love you. I wish I could just put her in the past and spend the rest of my days with you."

His voice got so soft at the end of his statement. From this position you couldn't see his face, and you figured there was a reason for that, as you felt some dampness forming on your shirt.

You had never seen Sam cry over anything. In that moment, it made you realize how real his feelings are. Even after all the hell Ginger put him through, it didn't break him as much as the idea of being with you.

He lies there and tries to keep his breathing even, while you wrap your arms around him and hold him. He just desperately needs love and comfort from a woman who really cares about him.

• • •

Sam and Ginger got to the point that they could hardly stand to be around one another, so they take periods of separation from one another, and they trade off who keeps Amy. Although, Sam will admit that he's more at ease when his little girl is with him.

Whenever Sam has Amy, he tries to take at least one day off work every week to spend with her. She's getting to be more of a kid than a toddler now, and she enjoys spending time with her daddy.

Today, Sam invited you along to the park and a for a picnic with Amy; it's what she asked for!

"You look pretty in your little sundress, baby," Sam compliments you, as he pushes his kid on the swing.

"It's nice seeing you dressed down a bit, too. Turns out it isn't the suit jacket that makes you so handsome!"

He was just wearing slacks and a button up shirt: sleeves rolled up, no tie, no sports coat. Oh, and don't forget the sunglasses and cigarette holder.

"Hey, Amy?" Sam calls to his daughter while she swings up and down through the air.

"Yeah, daddy?"

"You wanna go eat lunch, sweetie?"

"No!"

"No?!" Sam exclaims sarcastically, "You don't wanna go eat your lunch? I packed your favorite."

She shook her head, despite the big smile on her face.

"PB and J's?!" he asks.

She shakes her head again.

"Applesauce?"

Another no.

"Hmmm... How about those cupcakes we picked up from the bakery?"

Her little face lights up and she tries to stop the swing. Sam scoops her up on his hip to carry her over to their picnic blanket. The whole exchange is extremely adorable; you love watching Sam be a daddy to his little girl!

At lunch, surprisingly Amy stays near you. You've been babysitting her since she was a baby, and now she sees you hanging out with her dad a lot; luckily she likes you. It's really important to Sam that you two get along.

"You're gonna make a great mom one day," he says, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Hmm? And what makes you think I'll be a mom?" you ask him, helping wipe something off Amy's cheek.

"If you stay with me, and if we end up together, you'll be Amy's new mom... aaaand maybe if you really like me, we could have a baby together," he looks down at his hands with a smirk on his face.

You put your hands over Amy's ears, and joke with him, "I think we should probably have sex before you ask me to have your baby! Although, you can trust me to have your baby 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 the wedding."

You let go of Amy's ears, while you and Sam double over in laughter.

"What's so funny?" she asks sassily, sounding just like her dad.

"Nothing, honey, you'll understand when you're older," Sam replies, petting her hair.

"You always say that, daddy. Can I go play?"

"Yes, but stay where we can see you, okay?"

"Okay!" she says, already running off. She's a busy body, just like him.

Sam pulls you into a spooning position and holds you so you can both keep an eye on Amy on the playground.

"So, you want me to make love to you, huh?" he grumbles lowly in your ear, placing some kisses on your neck.

"Mmm... Why don't you come over to my place one night and find out?" you tease at him.

• • •

You assumed tonight would be just a casual night at home, and you appreciate that, because it isn't often you get alone time. You had just gotten out the shower and decided to relax in your robe on the couch for the night.

That all changes when you hear the doorbell ring.

"Who could that be? I don't think I invited anyone over," you think as you walk to the door.

"Sam!" you exclaim, seeing him on your front stoop, "what are you doing here-"

You're cut off by his lips meeting yours in a fiery kiss. He pushes you into the house and shuts the door behind him all while his lips never leave yours. He pushes you against a wall, grabbing at your hips. When his lips move down to your neck, you gasp out his name.

"Sam! What has gotten into you?" you breathe out, "What is this?"

"Mmm..." He moans, leaving little kisses at your ear, "Ginger and Amy are out of town, and... you told me to come over and make love to you."

"That's not how I said it," you laugh, before letting out a soft moan at his actions.

He reaches over and locks your front door before leading you over to the couch. His lips find yours again, then he gently lays you down, positioning himself on top of you. His hands roam your body, as your lips move with his; his tongue enters your mouth and sends chills across your skin.

You pull away from his kiss to look at him in the eyes, "I know we've been seeing each other and doing a lot of kissing, but I don't want to make you a cheater."

"Baby, it's not about cheating. Ginger and I don't wanna be together as it is; I 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 to be with 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

"Sam... are you sure? You can't go back from this."

"(Y/N), I already told you I love you. There's no going back from that." His hand snakes down to the ties on your silky robe, and pulls them loose. With his legs on either side of one of yours, he presses his hardness into your thigh. As he pulls your robe to the side just a few inches, he places soft kisses on your chest.

He pauses and looks up at you through his lashes. You place your hands on his face and shoulder, and he gives you a smile before he pulls your robe open, leaving you naked in front of him, except for the sleeves on your arms.

Sam kisses your lips lightly, then your cheek, then your neck and chest, where he starts leaving heated love bites. He gently squeezes at your breasts, as he teases them with his tongue and teeth. Soon after, he leaves a trail of kisses down your belly, leaving you with a few nips on your hipbone.

He sits up on his knees, taking your body in: your plump thighs, sensual hips, the way your breathing had become heavy, and obviously your naked parts he had always wanted to see. He moves to place himself between your legs, and he pulls one of them up, hooking your ankle on his shoulder and pressing a few kisses to your calf.

"You're beautiful," he tells you before he turns his attention back to your leg.

Sam really made you feel beautiful, but it was nothing in comparison to the way he looks: his dress shirt unbuttoned a little, shiny suit pants, large erection pressed against the fabric and poking at his waistband, his tight leather belt keeping it tame.

You're pulled from your thoughts by the feeling of Sam kissing your inner thigh; he had worked his way up to the soft, sensitive part of your leg.

He grabs you by your thighs, scooting you up the couch, giving him more room to work. Now he's bent over a bit more, placing sloppy kisses and and nibbles on your thighs as a way to get you to spread them apart. Finally, he gets down all the way, and you feel his hot breath on your center.

Seeing him crouched down on his elbows and knees, head between your legs... It's enough to make you want him. When places a few hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses on your labia, it makes you lose any fight you had to turn him down.

"Oh, Sam..." your hand slides into his hair as his tongue laps at you. He looks up making eye contact with you, and enjoying how flustered you look because of him.

He simply grins to himself and goes back to pleasing you. Your grip on his hair tightens each time he does something that you like, and he's smart: if you like it a lot, he does it over and over and over.

A few times, he moves down, licking at your entrance, testing the waters. When he hears a whine from you, he decides to stop being a tease and presses his tongue in past your lips. Your back arches up off the couch and you take in a deep breath; Sam digs his fingers into your thighs, keeping your hips firmly in place so he can continue swirling his tongue around inside you.

After a few minutes, he has mercy on you and goes back to your clitoris. He doesn't let up too much though. He slides his middle finger into you, slowly, and when he can't go any further, he curls it in a "come here" kind of motion.

"Oh, God," you let out, toes curling in pleasure.

Sam puts his lips on you and pulls your clit into his mouth, sucking on it. Jackpot. Your hand pulls his hair and you throw your head back; you can feel your climax coming. He lets out a low, grumbly moan, and it helps push you over the edge. Your orgasm comes in waves as Sam continues sucking and curling that finger; he's reveling in the feeling of you losing control at his hand.

When he decides you've had enough, he eases his motions to let you down from your high. The way he has total control over you and your body... You had never seen anything like it.

Sam crawls over you until he was face-to-face with you again to kiss you and make you taste yourself on his lips. He wraps his arms around you and picks you up, hands roaming your back as your robe hangs loosely behind you. With your legs wrapped around his hips, he takes you up to your bedroom.

"Can I ask you something, Sam?" you start.

"Of course you can, baby girl," he answers.

"Why would Ginger treat you so badly if you're this good in bed? And we haven't even made it to bed yet," you chuckle at the last part.

"I guess that's more of a question for Ginger than it is for me, but I'd really rather not talk about my wife right now," he says dropping you on your cozy bed. You lay there, arms above your head, your hair and silky robe spread out around you. Sam grabs you by wrapping his large hands around your ribcage and sits you up. It always impressed you how large and strong he is, because he keeps his muscles covered with all those suits. He pushes your robe off your shoulders, "That's better."

You giggle at him and reach out in front of you, giving his aching erection some much needed attention with the palm of your hand. Sam let's out a breath, and you take that as a sign to undo his belt. After opening his belt and unzipping his pants, you pull them down just a little, leaving them hanging on his hips. Your hand finds his member again, rubbing it through a much thinner layer of fabric, "You gonna show me what this thing can do?"

He puts a hand on the back of your head and pulls you to him. Your face nuzzles against his pelvis; you leave a few kisses on his groin and look up at him, "You want me to use my mouth on you?"

His eyes are fixed on yours as his lips pull into a half smile, "No, another time. I can't wait any longer to have you."

And with that, you pulled his pants off of his hips. He quickly works out of his shoes and pants and climbs on top of you.

"Oh, no, Mr. Rothstein! We are not doing this if you have those socks on!" you giggle at him.

He looks back at his feet, "What, you don't think they're sexy?" He turns back to you and kisses you, "I'd fuck you if you were wearing socks," he jokes before reaching back and pulling them off.

When he lays down on top of you, you work on unbuttoning his shirt while he kisses your lips and neck. A few seconds later his shirt is thrown to the floor. He wraps his arms around you as you make out, pressing your bodies together; like this, you can feel his muscles, his warmth, and his love, as if he was the thing you always needed.

His kisses slow down, and he pulls back to look at you, "I love you, (Y/N), and I mean it."

"I love you, too, Sam," you nearly whisper. After a short pause and Sam rubbing your cheek with his thumb, you ask, "Will you take those underwear off already? You're going awfully slow for a man who said he didn't want to wait anymore."

He smiles and shakes his head sarcastically at you, but he sits up on his knees and pushes them off, "Better?" he snarks.

"Better."

He was sexier than you ever could've imagined. He left a lot to the imagination with all his suits, but like this, you got to take in his loving eyes, messed up hair, soft skin, toned arms, and the chest hair that made a lovely trail down to his large member that's standing at attention for you.

"Come here, sexy," you command.

"Who? Me?" he points to himself, jokingly.

You reach up, and grab his hands, pulling him down on top of you again, "Yes, you."

He lets out an excited moan, kicking his underwear to the floor and snaking a hand down between your thighs. As his fingers tease at your clit, he asks, "You ready, baby doll?"

"Very ready."

That's all he needs to hear before he's pulling your legs up to wrap around his waist, slicking up the head of his cock with spit and a little precum. The next moments are filled with moans from the two of you, as he lines up with your wet entrance and begins to enter you. His hips work slowly, giving small motions to sink into you.

You could tell from the way his hips were bucking lightly that he was torn between taking things slow and fucking into you hastily, right then and there. It's the neediest you'd ever seen him; it's sexy the way you make him lose a bit of that control he always has.

As soon as he's got enough length inside you, he starts rocking into you, eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. "Baby, you feel so good," he says as he buries a hand in your hair and his face in your neck, kissing you. His breathing becomes more intense, and his back arches a bit allowing for some room for him to work his hand on you again.

As if the feeling of his hardness pushing in and out of you wasn't enough, his fingers start making circles on your clit, drawing moans from your mouth. "Oh, God, those noises... You're gonna drive me crazy," he whispers in your ear before leaving a few bites on your lobe.

He moves so he can kiss you and look at your pretty face while he makes love to you. He's so excellent, pleasing your clitoris while thrusting his hips into you. You lean up to leave a series of kisses and nips on his neck and collarbone; your fingernails leaving scratches on his back and hands tangling his normally perfect hair.

"Oh, fuck..." you hear Sam say as he slows down his movements.

"You okay, honey?" you ask, concerned.

"More than okay, baby, I just got close," he answers, looking almost embarrassed. It's hard to tell if the flush on his cheeks is from answering your question or from pleasure.

"You could've finished if you wanted," you say with a warm smile.

"Oh, no. I'm not done with you yet, princess." He sits up on his knees, snaking his arm around your back and gripping your hips to lift you off the bed. His other hand rests on your pelvis, and his thumb flicks over your clit. He starts rocking you back and forth on his dick, "How about that? You like that?"

Judging by your moans and the way your back arches for him, he got his answer. He picks up his pace until he's fucking into you with quick, hard thrusts, and your thighs clap against his belly. His fingers relentlessly try to please you, and it's working: you're coming apart at the seams once again for him.

When you feel your second orgasm coming on, you can't help but also feel a little surprised... but also so turned on that he made a mess of you, twice.

Feeling your orgasm and feeling you tighten around his hard length, Sam loses himself. His hips buck into you wildly as he cums deep inside you. He sits back on his heels, and pulls you up to straddle his lap. He pumps into you a few more times while he holds you close to him, kissing anywhere his lips can reach.

Your lips meet and you kiss him several times, both of you feeling very satisfied. You comb your fingers through his hair, fixing it a little bit; he seems to like that. His arms are wrapped around you, and he just holds you on his lap like that for a few minutes, kissing your chest.

He lays his head against your shoulder, and let's out a deep breath, "Yeah, I'm in love," he giggles and stares up at you with an innocent, happy look.

"Me too," you say quietly, kissing his head with a bit of a sad look on your face.

"Hey!" he gets you to look down at him, "You okay, sweetie?"

"Yeah... I just wish we could be together, and that it wouldn't be so complicated," you tell Sam.

He lays you down on the bed, pulling out of you, then he lays next to you and holds you in his arms, "Me too, baby, me too. I just feel bad because it's my fault we can't be together like we want to."

"Oh, Sam, you know I don't blame you for that. No one enters into a bad marriage on purpose."

"No, but you were always right about her. I should've listened to you, considering I came to you for advice. She never cared about me."

"Yeah, but you cared about her, and you still do," you say with a warm smile, "she's the mother of your child. You have a big heart, Sam."

You wrap your arms around his neck and hold his head against your chest. "I care about you, too," you hear him mutter.

"I know you do. I care about you, too," you whisper, snuggling into him to drift off to sleep in his arms.

• • •

The sex was amazing, but there's nothing like waking up in the arms of someone you love, at least, that's how you feel this morning. The way Sam clings to you, almost desperately, lets you know that while you may not wake exactly like this every morning, you will wake up loved each morning.

As you begin to stir a bit, Sam's arms squeeze around you, not wanting you to leave your comfortable spooning position. He grumbles to himself a few times before finally cracking his eyes open to tell you, "Good morning, beautiful."

"Good morning," you respond, as he lies there with his eyes closed like he may go back to sleep.

He opens his eyes again, slowly, and you feel his hand gently move the covers off of you. You groan when the cool air hits your skin. "God damn, baby, you look so good," his voice rumbles.

"Mmm... You pushed the blankets off me just to tell me I look good?"

"Well, no..." he starts, and he finishes his statement by kissing your shoulder blade and neck, teasing at your thighs, and feeling your breasts. He presses his hips into your backside, letting you feel his morning wood.

"Oooh, someone's happy!" you giggle, pushing your butt back into him to give him some friction.

"I think you meant horny," he slides a hand down, grabbing at your butt before sliding further down teasing between your legs. He slowly runs his middle finger back and forth along your clit and your entrance, getting you wet for him.

"Hey, Sam?"

"Hm?" He mutters between kisses.

"I love you. I wanted to make sure to say it first for once."

He chuckles and continues what he's doing, "And I love you, and I wanna make sure you know this isn't about sex."

"Well, it's a little hard to believe that when you have a finger inside me, but Sam Rothstein is a man who's good on his word, so I'll believe you...just this once," you look over your shoulder, both of you grinning uncontrollably. You reach back and take his member in your hand, stroking it, "However, for the next few minutes, I'd like to make it about sex."

"Mmm, yes ma'am!" Sam exclaims, attacking your neck with sloppy kisses, and repositioning himself to enter you. You both relax into those feelings of pleasure as his warm cock fills you. He grips your hips loosely and thrusts his hips into you almost lazily, but it feels good.

His hand creeps down and grips your thigh, gently lifting your leg up in the air. You both light up with noises, moans, whines, heavy breathing. Within a few minutes, you hear Sam breathe out, "Baby, baby, I'm gonna cum."

You let out a hum, "Cum for me, sweetheart."

Sam pulls you close to him, moving against you with quick, small pumps. You grab his hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, while he holds you tightly. After his orgasm, he slides out of you easily and turns you over to kiss your lips for the first time that morning.

Sam is so needy after sex; he wants to hold you as close as possible and shower you in kisses and affection and sweet words.

"I'm sorry I didn't finish you off, honey," Sam says to you.

"It's okay, sweetie, I'm just glad you felt so good," you hold his head in your hands, nuzzling your nose against his.

He lowers his voice as if someone might hear him, "I'll make up for it in the shower," giving you a little wink.

And he does, because Sam Rothstein is a man who's good on his word.

• • •

Since you and Sam spent that weekend together, you start fucking like bunnies. That is to say: you find time to make love to one another often, especially when Ginger is out of town. You both prefer to do it at your home, but when Sam has Amy, he will sometimes invite you over; you quickly get past sleeping in another woman's bed, because you know Sam's heart belongs to you. Sex for the two of you isn't about getting off; it's one of the many ways you show your feelings for one another.

You both find it very hard to hide your feelings for one another in front of others. You can be so open with one another and your feelings when you're in your little bubble. Despite that, you have to put your feelings aside for The Tangiers charity event tonight. Sam has a lot of big spenders flying in for this event; it's going to bring in a lot of money and a lot of publicity for the casino.

"Hey, baby," you say, sneaking into Sam's office, closing the door quietly.

He's standing by his desk signing a few papers; this is probably the one quiet moment he'll have all night. "Hey, princess," he gives you a cute look, signing a few more papers. You sit in comfortable silence, while you wait for him to finish his work. "Alright," he says, tapping his pen on the final paper, "Bring that sweet ass over here!"

He sits on the edge of his desk and pulls you into a hug, taking in your scent and the way your dress feels against your body. He lets out a relaxed sigh, "I missed you."

It has been few days since you've seen each other. With Ginger being home in preparation for this event, you and Sam decided it was best not to see each other. "I missed you, too," you nuzzle into him.

You feel his hand under your chin, lifting your face so he can kiss you. You kiss slowly at first, letting Sam explore your mouth with his tongue, but things quickly get more heated since it feels like it's been so long since you had each other.

He turns you around, sitting you on his thigh as he leans against his desk. You both crane your necks to keep your lips connected. Sam presses your back against his chest before dipping his hand into your dress, fingers teasing your nipple. You inhale sharply and brace a hand on his hip.

"You like that?" he purrs in your ear.

"Mm-hmm," you hum, leaning your head back against him.

His free hand pulls your dress up and disappears between your thighs, touching you through your panties.

"Sam..." you whine, moving your hand to squeeze at his half-hard length.

"Seems like someone misses me, needy baby," he whipsers to you.

You urge his hands off of you and stand up, facing him, "Now let's get something straight, Mr. Rothstein: I wasn't needy when I came in this office. I patiently waited for you to finish signing things, and then YOU made me needy."

There's a long pause between you before Sam cracks a little smirk and says, "You're sexy when you're mad."

Once you head downstairs to the casino floor, the party is on. Millionaires and billionaires fill the room, enjoying slots, tables, and free champagne. Sam always thought it was funny how rich people love a free handout.

Every business associate that Sam knew was here, plus the rich friends they brought with them. Those of you who spend a lot of time at the casino mingle with the guests who came to spend money; your job is to keep them spending money, because a hefty portion of what the house makes tonight is going to be split between a few charities. It was Billy's idea, saying that a charity event would be great publicity and raise goodwill with the people.

Most of your evening goes by playing table games with people you barely knew, so it's nice to see Billy, a familiar face. You hadn't seen him since you got there.

He hands you a glass of champagne and you find a more secluded place to talk while Billy watches the floor. You see Sam doing the same from his usual spot; Sam sees you and gives you a cute look, scrunching his nose when Billy isn't looking.

Almost on queue, Billy smirks, "So, you and Ace, huh?"

"Huh? What?" you stammer, caught off guard.

"Don't worry, I haven't told anyone. You know my lips are sealed," he has a pleased look on his face, and he gives you a wink.

You sigh and give Billy a knowing look, confirming his suspicions, "How'd you know?"

"Well, I'll admit it took me a while to catch on, because you two have always been close. Sam's been much happier the past few weeks, but I chalked it up to Ginger getting out of his hair with her little vacations. Tonight has been the first dead giveaway: you sneaking up to his office and coming down to the floor together, and the way he's been keeping an eye on you all evening, like he's worried about you getting too far away from him."

If Sam had been watching you like that, you hadn't noticed, but it was endearing. "You should tell him not to blow our cover," you smirk at Billy.

"Oh, I plan on it," Billy leans into you, "Let me tell you a secret, (Y/N). I've always liked you two together, and I think you have always liked one another; maybe you were just too blinded by the Vegas lights to see it... So, I'll keep your secret, because you two deserve to be happy." His hand squeezes your shoulder, and he clinks his glass with yours before leaving you to go stand with Sam so they can watch the floor together.

As you walk the floor looking for a group of tycoons to mingle with, you feel a hand grab your arm. You turn to see Ginger who is now leading you across the casino floor.

"Hey, girl! Wanna work a table together? Maybe if we put our heads together, we could pull in more money." She is oddly pleasant in her tone of voice, but the way her nails grip your arm gives you a different vibe; however, you don't feel you have much choice in the matter. You are swept off to a table far away from the center of the casino, far away from Sam and Billy.

Unexpectedly, Ginger is nice to you and even jokes with you as you hustle all the rich men gathered around the roulette table, getting them to spend all of their money. When that's over, it's like a switch flips.

She drags you aside away from everyone except a few bouncers, and begins her tirade, "It's you. I know it's you." She's doing her best to remain calm with all of the donors around, but you knew she was high; she was always on something anymore.

"Ginger, what are you talking about?"

"You- your perfume! I smell it... in my bed, on Ace! I know you're sleeping with him!"

You can tell she's getting worked up, and you really don't want her to start yelling. "Now, we don't want things to get out of hand. You know I spend a lot of time with Sam; I've been helping him babysit Amy more since you guys have been more separate. Isn't it possible you smell my perfume around him because of that? You probably smell it on Amy too, right?"

Ginger is frustrated and confused, unable to make sense of things with all that junk in her system, "Yeah, yeah, I guess that makes sense," she pouts.

"Yeah, see? It's okay, everything's okay," you try to calm her down, resting your hand on her upper arm.

"No! Don't touch me!!" she shouts.

"Ginger, don't get excited; we don't wanna ruin the event."

"I don't care what you say; I don't trust you, and I don't trust you with my husband!" she sneers at you, "I have my connections just like your 'Saaam,' and if I find out anything is going on with you and him, you'll be nothing more than one of those holes in the desert these guys like to talk so much about. You're nothing but a whore as it is."

Her face is inches from yours. She had insulted you and threatened your life in a single statement, and clearly she had decided Sam was too personal a name for her husband, since she chastised you for calling him that. You decide to do your worst; you doubt she'll remember this interaction anyway.

"This coming from the woman who can't seem to shake her pimp."

Thankfully the bouncers nearby saw how heated things were getting, and they came over to break it up. They even called Nicky over talk Ginger down. It's pretty bad that even the casino staff knew about Nicky and Ginger, and that bringing Ace over would just make it worse.

But word quickly made it back to Sam about what Ginger had done to you, and so a few days later, he sent her to Beverly Hills with Amy; besides, he only needed her home for that one night at the Tangiers.

• • •

Despite all of his efforts to run a clean joint, it all came crashing down when Sam got word that the FBI had heard all about the casino and the Midwest bosses from that grocery store tap back home. Luckily, they couldn't really bring any heat down on Sam, because he didn't know much; he had been put in Las Vegas to run the casino, and he was even working on getting his gaming license which looked good on him.

Nicky, however, did get a lot of heat. He already had the attention of the Las Vegas police for a number of crimes, and he was the liaison between Las Vegas and and the Midwest bosses.

Sam had already been trying to pull away from Nicky and that meant also pulling away from the gangster business that had made him so successful as a handicapper.

Thankfully with Ginger out of town, you got to be with Sam when he found out about all this. There isn't much he can do, but he knows it's a possibility his whole casino could go under.

In order to cheer him up, you invite Sam to your place for a few days, so he can use your home as a getaway to just relax as much as he can. Despite everything going on, you both actually have a pretty good time. Sam only takes the calls he absolutely has to take which mostly meant Billy, and you both enjoy cooking together, showering together, making love together...

Unfortunately he can't stay for more than a few days or people will start to realize he isn't home, and any calls other than to Billy needed to come from Sam's house, especially any calls to Ginger. And so this morning you head off to Sam's place, so he can call the hotel in Beverly Hills to check on his wife and child.

He gets on the phone and cheerily greets the hotel receptionist before asking to be put through to Ginger's room. His tone quickly drops when he questions, "𝘔𝘳. and Mrs. Rothstein?"

You give him a concerned look as he wraps up the conversation and slams the phone down on the hook. He lets out a frustrated sigh and rubs his chin before he says, "She checked out of the hotel with another man and my kid."

"It's not Nicky, is it?" you ask.

"No, it's not Nicky, I know it's not Nicky; he's got too much heat on him to leave Vegas." That could only mean one thing: Lester.

Sam immediately gets back on the phone calling the police, the FBI agents he'd been in contact with, even Nicky, to try to find where Ginger and this pimp had taken his daughter. The FBI is very gracious in helping track down Ginger and Amy, quickly getting back to Sam with an address and phone number for where they are.

After a phone call with Lester that didn't really go anywhere, Sam is feeling helpless about what to do. He's so furious with Ginger, but he needs her to bring their daughter home. He sinks down into the couch when he looks at you desperately; he doesn't know what to do.

You quickly rush over and curl up next to him, taking the man in your arms, rubbing his shoulders for comfort. "How do I get her home? I just want Amy safe; she's not safe with that pimp, and clearly she's not safe with her mother anymore either."

"You're not gonna like to hear this, but I think Nicky is your best bet to get her back," you suggest.

He simply nods his head as he realizes you're right, then he picks up the phone to call his friend.

• • •

The next few days Sam and Ginger are walking on eggshells. It couldn't be more obvious that Ginger doesn't want to be home, but Sam had to know that Amy is safe. Since Ginger has to be home, Sam even tries being sweet to her again. He had tried to cuddle with her a few times, something they hadn't done in years, but she would just reject him each time, typically leaving the room. Sam is at his wits' end; he doesn't know what else to try with Ginger, what other approach he could take.

One night as Sam is about to leave the casino to head home, you follow him out to his car, "just to talk," you tell him. You hadn't seen him in days and you miss him.

"Hey, baby," Sam says wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"Hey, honey. I missed you," you smile at him.

He hums, "I miss you too, and I'm sorry you're in the middle of all this... It's not fair to you."

"It's okay, Sam. You're the one who's in a tough spot here. I'm just here to support you and love you and... make you feel better..." you trail off as you squeeze his thigh, your fingers gracing past his crotch.

"Oh..." Sam says, giving you a cheeky look.

You slide your hand back and forth over the front of his pants, getting him hard, while you lightly kiss at his neck and ear. "You've just been so stressed lately, sweetie; let me help you relax."

When his breathing becomes heavy, you know he's ready for more, "Baby girl, I need your mouth on me, now." He lets out a groan when you open his pants and stroke him through his underwear.

You don't waste much time before you're going down on him, kissing his leaking member before taking it in your mouth. He looks down at you and tries to keep his breathing even; all this came on pretty suddenly so you've got Sam very worked up. He takes your hair in his hands, forming a make shift ponytail to keep your hair out your face. He also likes to watch your face bob up and down on his cock.

You hollow out your cheeks and Sam savors that intense sucking feeling. Between that and your tongue pressing against his tip, he can hardly contain himself. You wrap a hand around the base of his member, pumping what you can't take in your mouth.

Sam's hands push you down making you take as much of him as you can, and his breathing becomes labored, letting out little moans as he climaxes in your mouth.

You take down what you can and lick up any of the rest. You look up to see Sam giving you a look with raised eyebrows.

"I didn't want you to make a mess..." you say with a raspy voice as you wipe your lips.

He simply stares at you, as if he was still trying to make sense of what just happened, before he grabs your hair and pulls you into a rough kiss, tasting himself on your tongue. When he pulls away from you breathing heavily, he says, "Baby, you have no idea how bad I needed that. Thank you." He softens up and pulls you back towards him, this time laying your head in the crook of his neck.

Sam leaves you at the Tangiers and at home, walks into a nightmare: his kid is tied to her bed and his wife is nowhere to be found. Despite the flood of panic and anger that he feels, he keeps his wits about him and calls you to come get Amy; with you is the safest place for her right now while Sam searches for Ginger. You only see him for a quick moment, before he rushes out the door, leaving you to pack Amy a bag and take her to your house for a few days.

Sam knows Ginger is at Nicky's new restaurant; he had called before he left the house. His tires screech to a halt as he rolls up to the place of business.

After a run-in with Nicky at the door and a quiet altercation in the corner booth, where Sam definitely threatened Ginger's life for what she did to Amy, Sam managed to get his wife in the car. On the ride home, oddly, all Sam could think was, "Where does Nicky get off asking 𝘮𝘦 to be civil, when he's the one that always gets heat brought on us?"

It's probably just a temporary distraction from elephant in the room, or car, in this case.

Sam has to admit: he's at his wits' end with Ginger. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about leaving her or kicking her out. But when they walk into the house, and he sees the apologetic look in his wife's eyes, whether honest or manipulative, one thought crosses his mind, "She's the mother of my child."

How could he walk out on her? He had promised she'd be taken care of, and even though he really only meant financially, his big heart wouldn't allow him to hurt her.

She doesn't care what he does; she won't be bothered as long as she gets the money she's promised.

"Come on, honey, let's go to bed," Sam says softly, taking his wife's hand. They take a few steps together before the man stops and turns to her; he places his hands on her sides, seeing if she'll hug him. When she does, sadly, it leaves Sam with a shred of hope for their relationship.

• • •

Sam had been exhausted, so he went to bed with the promise that Ginger would meet him there after she gets a shower. However, when Sam wakes up, seeing the time on the clock and the other half of his bed empty; he's immediately filled with suspicion.

At 3:03 A.M., he finds himself sneaking down the hallway--sneaking... in his own house. He shakes his head and quietly shuffles down the hallway towards the living room, where he can hear Ginger's voice moving at a rapid and excited pace.

"I don't care- I don't care!! I want that fucker dead! I want him dead! And that little slut too!! Sleeping in my bed- No! No, I will not calm down... I want a hit on that bitch, that way he can 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵! The same way he hurt me!" Ginger snarls and sobs into the phone.

Sam's heart sank. The thought of losing you--no, he couldn't think about that right now; he simply springs into action, grabbing the phone from Ginger's hands. "Who's this?" he demands to the person on the other end of the line, before slamming the phone down only a second later as Ginger leaps up, practically attacking Sam by pounding her balled up hands against his chest and arms.

"You want me dead, huh? You want me outta the picture?!" his voice booms as she starts to wrestle with him, crying and screaming. "Come with me, come on!" He gets her flailing hands undercontol and drags her down the hallway; Ginger's feet come out from under her, and he just keeps dragging her, both of them yelling at each other.

"I hate you!!! I hate your guts!" Ginger shouts at Sam from where she's laying on the floor of their walk in closet, her face red from crying.

"I know, you evil bitch! What did I ever do to you, huh? I tried to love you and look where it got me..." He slaps a duffle bag down on her lap.

"What's this?" she asks.

He follows it with a pile of clothes, gorgeous, expensive fabrics hitting the floor, "Get your shit, and get out," Sam growls, fire and pain in his eyes.

"You can't kick me out, you can't put me out on the street with no money!!!" She jumps up and starts grabbing expensive clothes.

"Money's all you care about, huh?" he questions, bending down to a shoe box under his clothes; he pulls out all that would fit in his hands, bringing it over to her on the floor. "Is this enough?? You'll probably blow through this in a week!" He dumps the cash in her lap, storming off from her to rip more of her clothes off hangers.

"You can't abandon me!! You told me I'd be taken care of! If you kick me out, I'll go take all my jewelry out the bank!!" she threatens.

He grabs her set of keys, taking her house key off the ring, leaving her with car keys and her bank keys. "And I will not stop you," Sam says, almost calmly.

He knew the key to his millions was still in his desk drawer upstairs, she'd only be leaving with the key to what's hers. He'd been feeling unsure about walking out on her, but Sam made his decision the moment Ginger threatened your life.

• • •

For the next week, you and Sam were waiting for the ball to drop and for Ginger to come storming through that door. But in another way, Sam didn't care; he had you over all the time, even when people came over. He started to put his hands on your waist or even kiss you in front of others. It made you so nervous the first time he kissed you in front of Nicky, but Sam knew what he was doing. Nicky couldn't run to anyone about it, because what Nicky had done was worse in the eyes of the Midwest bosses: sleeping with his best friend's wife, their precious "Golden Jew."

But that isn't the reason Nicky's here right now.

"Ace, they took the bosses in. Arrested every single one of 'em. The FBI knows what's going on, all of it, but they ain't got nothing on me or you, because we don't go in room where they count the money. That doesn't mean they won't question us though."

And boy did they. Sam was already irritated that his name was in the paper every time Nicky went to court for some crime, but now it was coming out that him and Nicky were both being held for questioning for the crime bust in the Midwest.

Nicky pretty much refused to give them anything, but Sam had a reputation with the law and a relationship with the FBI out here. They had helped him get his kid back after all. So, he didn't give them any new information, but he didn't mind confirming certain things they already knew, as long as it didn't incriminate him.

Because of his cooperation, the authorities left Sam alone after a little while. Most of the attention was on Nicky and what his connections were to the Midwest bosses and the casino. Somehow Nicky got himself out of it without getting arrested; Sam had to wonder if it was Nicky's rambling or his threats that did the trick.

Weeks went by, and it was clear that the casino was going down. It wasn't for trying though. Sam fought so hard to keep his precious establishment running, but the place had been riddled with scandals. And even with the bosses facing trial, the powers that be decided to get rid of the whole scam; Sam losing The Tangiers would just be a necessary evil to them.

Sam decided it was a better time than ever to leave the business behind. Besides, he'd never been into crime the way Nicky was; he'd just been pulled into this because he was a money maker.

So as Sam walks out of the casino for the last time, locking the doors to the completely empty building, he lights a cigarette and heads over to his car with only one thing on his mind: going home to you and Amy. Unfortunately, he won't make it home as soon as he would have liked, as his car goes up in flames from a car bomb that must've been rigged while he was inside the casino.

Sam had planned for this kind of thing though, and he had the manufacturers of the vehicle place a special metal plate under the passenger seat, giving him a few valuable seconds to save his life.

You get the call during Sam's ambulance ride to the hospital. At first you're devastated--why would anyone want to hurt your Sam? Before you could find to a conclusion, you quickly snap out of it, getting Amy into the car to get to the hospital.

"Mr. Rothstein-"

"I told you, I don't want-

"Mr. Rothstein, we think it's important that we run this test," the doctor speaks over Sam. Must be an important test for him to interrupt Ace Rothstein.

"I'm fine!" your boyfriend groans, "My arm is burned, but I feel fine."

"But sir, it's possible the adrenaline in your system-"

"Sam Rothstein!" You cut the doctor off, storming in with Amy on your hip.

"Hey, baby!" he holds a hand out towards you.

"Don't you 'baby' me. I know you're not arguing with this doctor, refusing medical advice!! You don't just have yourself to worry about here, you have me and Amy- and I swear to God, Sam Rothstein if you die on me, you'll have more than heaven and hell to worry about! You'll have me to answer to," you finish your rant with a stern look.

His face drops for a moment before a little smirk forms, "You're sexy when you're mad."

Ignoring him, you turn to his doctor, "Run any tests you need to. I'll deal with him." You pat the doctor on his tie.

"Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Rothstein," the doctor says as you walk away, giving them room to do what they need to do.

"Oh, we're not married... yet," Sam explains, scrunching his nose cutely at you.

"Well I'm not gonna be the one to tell her that," the doctor says under his breath.

As they wheel Sam out of the room to take him for some tests, you hear Amy's voice, "Why are you mad at daddy?"

"I'm not mad at daddy," a little chuckle leaves you and you hug the child close to you, "I just love him, and so I had to make him listen to the doctors."

• • •

You pick Sam up just a few days later, perfectly fine, except for some burns on his arm. He sits in the passenger seat of your car with a pile of things from the hospital: his coral pink suit in a plastic bag, burned in a few spots from the bomb, a folder with some information about caring for his burns, a packet full of bandages and prescription ointment, and a large yellow envelope.

"Now, don't be mad," Sam starts.

"What did you do?" you glare at him for a second before turning your eyes back to the road.

"I, uh, got a real estate agent to start looking for new homes for us."

"Sammy, why would I be mad about that? We practically live together already!"

"These homes--they're not in Las Vegas."

"What?!" you practically give him whiplash, pulling the car into a random parking lot. "You wanna leave Las Vegas? Sam, I grew up here..."

He looks down at his lap and back up at you, "I know," it comes out so quietly, "I just don't think we're safe here anymore... I'm not in the business anymore, I'm but afforded the same protections as I used to be. What if they come after you next? Or Amy? Right now, I know enough people that we could get out quietly..."

"Oh, Sam..." You cup his face in your hands, "I'm sorry I reacted like that, I'm scared too, and now I have a kid to worry about. I know she's not mine yet, but if anything happened to Amy-" You have to stop yourself before you cry.

"Here," he says, grabbing the yellow envelope, "I gave some pictures of some houses, and there's one I really like."

Instead of driving your boyfriend home, you sit in the car looking at pictures of beautiful homes, and daydreaming about where how you'll arrange the living room, where you'll put the bed, Amy playing in the backyard.

"Hey, look at this last one," he tells you.

"Is this the one you like?"

"Yeah," his face has a happy, soft smile as he thinks about moving into this house with you; he just knows it's perfect.

"Hmmm... San Diego, huh? 4 bedrooms and a mother-in-law suite. Sam we don't need 4 bedrooms," you look up at him.

He gently places his hand on your belly, "We might."

Your heart just melts... Even if you aren't sure about kids, clearly the thought makes him happy.

"Okay so there's a pool and a lot of grass, maybe we could put a trampoline there..."

• • •

Boxes are scattered all around your new home; you picked the one in San Diego, of course. It's completely perfect.

The movers had dropped off all the big furniture and help you set it up; Sam even got them to help set up Amy's trampoline, and he was so thrilled to surprise her with it. But it will be a few more days before the decorators can come to paint, unpack, and lay out the rest. Nothing but luxury for Sam Rothstein and his "wife."

Right now, Sam is dropping Amy off at the neighbor's house for a play date, so she can get to know the kids in the area. Of course, you two had been sure to meet with this couple first to scope them out, making sure they are safe for Amy to be around.

The plan is to get some unpacking done when your man gets home, but you thought it might be nice to spend some quality alone time together in your new home.

"Honey, I'm home!" Sam chimes at the front door; it makes him so happy to be able to say that. Sam stops at the door to look around for you.

You saunter down the hallway, wearing a black trench coat and bright red high heels, "Hey, sexy!"

"Mmmm," Sam moans, "I think I should be saying that to you. What's this, baby?"

You stop just out of his reach and untie your jacket, holding it open to show off a new set of candy red lacy lingerie, "Just a little..." you turn around and drop the coat to the floor, revealing a big red bow at the top of your ass, "house warming present." You throw him a sultry look over your shoulder before walking into the kitchen, heels clicking loudly on your new porcelain floor.

Sam pulls his jaw up off the floor and quickly follows, watching as you crawl up onto the marble-top kitchen island. He walks over, appreciating your body by rubbing his hands on your sides, eyes roaming the red fabric hugging your frame. You rake your hands through his hair, and pull him into you, landing his face right between your breasts, which he seems very okay with judging by the way he closes his eyes and starts kissing at them. He wraps his arms around your waist, trying to pull you off the counter.

"Oh no, sir, Mr. Rothstein, you're not taking me to that bedroom. If we're gonna break this house in, we're gonna do it my way. What's that thing you like to say?" You look up acting like you're trying to remember, "There are three ways of doing things around here: the right way, the wrong way, and the way that I do it..."

You practically yank him up onto the counter with you, his legs fumbling with the bar stools to help get him up there. Before Sam can even get his bearings straight, you have his back pinned against the marble, your lips taking his in a passionate, sloppy kiss.

Sam pushes you off of him, breathing heavily, "Damn, baby girl, where's this coming from? Not that I'm complaining."

"Well, my sexy, rich sugar daddy just bought me a nice, new house, and I just wanna thank him," you nuzzle into him.

"Sugar daddy, huh? Is that all I am to you?" he gives you a loving look, both of you smiling at his joke.

"Oh, yes, Mr. Moneybags..." You sit up and stretch a leg across his lap straddling him. As you grind your hips back and forth against his hard on, you both let out some light moans and hot sighs. His belt buckle makes some clinking noises as you unhook it before swiftly tugging it from his belt loops and dropping it to the floor.

Zip! You open his pants and pull them down just a few inches so you can return to grinding against his member through a much thinner layer of fabric. When Sam's fingers snake towards his groin so he can further please himself, he's met with a harsh smack on the hand.

"All the pleasure you feel is gonna come from me, got it?" you tell Sam.

He raises his eyebrows, surprised by this change that's overcome you, but down for the ride--literally. The pressure of his hardness against your clit is a great warm up for you, so you keep at it until Sam has a couple of wet spots on his underwear: one from you and one from his pre-cum soaking through.

At that point, you move off of him enough to pull his pants and boxer briefs down to his upper thighs, his erection springing free. You crawl back on top of him, pinning his wrists to the counter just above his head while you kiss him. You pull away, stroking his chin and swiping your thumb across his lips.

"Ready, baby?" you ask, kissing his cheek lightly.

"I- uhhh, yeah," he breathes out.

"Cat got your tongue, silly?" you giggle.

"No, I just, I've never -uh- had a girl top me quite like this," he explains.

"Oh, um, should I stop?" you ask innocently as you grind against his dick again.

"NO- no. I, um... You shouldn't stop."

The way Sam is fumbling through the conversation tells you that he probably likes the treatment he's being given, and so you move your hips against him a few more times before moving your panties to the side and guiding his member to your entrance. Your boyfriend let's out a low groan when he feels that warm wetness surround his sex; you think that's probably his favorite part of making love.

You start by setting a leisurely pace, knowing Sam will want more, but, gosh, the tease is so satisfying too...

"Please, baby," Sam breathes.

"Please what?" you play dumb.

"Go faster... Please, baby." So predictable of him.

"Mmmm, you mean you don't like when I take my time with you?" You speed up juuuust a little bit, but not nearly as much as he would've liked.

"I thought I was in charge in the bedroom," he groans.

"Well, we're not in the bedroom are we?" You lean down to kiss him, pinning his hands down again, next to his shoulders this time. You continue to hold them down while you pick up the pace, leaving Sam feeling a bit helpless as he can't touch you.

You take a little break from all the bouncing to slide back and forth, achieving a new kind of friction. Sam curls his hips up into you, clearly enjoying the sensation.

"Let me touch you, please?" Of course you're going to give in, but not without hearing him beg a little more. No one has this kind of control over Sam "Ace" Rothstein; no one but you. "Babyyy... Please, you know I like to hold you."

He gets nothing but silence in response, oh, and your hips working even faster, which only serves to make him more needy. "(Y/N), please... please, baby, I wanna hold you so bad."

You let go of his wrists and intertwine your first with his for a moment before his hands move to your face to cup your cheek. Afterwards, his palms smooth over your chest and arms; he's looking up at you: your pretty face, soft skin, the way your hair bounces along with your breasts as you ride him.

His hips become less tame the closer he gets to his climax. He's a man who just can't help himself; he likes to be in on the action, even if he isn't on top.

You lean yourself back, placing your palms on the cool countertop, giving him a great angle to attack your g-spot. Sam's hands roam your thighs until you find your rhythm with the changed position, but once he knows he's hitting the right spots, his fingers dive in to stimulate you from the outside as well. One hand pinches and rubs your nipple while the other sets a dangerous speed on your clit.

Despite you trying to have so much control over him, Sam just knows exactly what buttons to push on you, and you're cumming in a matter of seconds. The way it snuck up on you causes you to bend forward as your orgasm pulses through you.

The man beneath you takes advantage of this by pulling you flush to his chest, bracing his feet on the counter top, and railing up into you as fast as he can. You turn into nothing but a noisy mess as he uses your body to get off.

"Fuck, baby, I'm cumming..." Sam finds his release before he even realizes it; he just feels so tangled up and lost in the pleasure of being with you.

A few seconds later, you both find yourselves lying on the kitchen island, completely limp and trying to catch your breath. Sam lazily rolls onto his side, rolling you onto the marble counter beside him. Goosebumps litter your skin as the cold countertop comes in contact with you. You both lay on the counter, staring at each other before you both brsk out into giggles.

"I can't believe you let me fuck you on this thing," you laugh, patting the marble, "and I can't believe you let me fuck you... Like that. I wasn't being too much, was I?"

Sam tucks himself back into his pants, zipping them up and buttoning them before wrapping an arm around your waist. "What? You being a little dominatrix? No, I don't think it was too much," he nuzzles his nose against yours and gives you a few soft kisses. "But," he starts, "the only woman allowed to have me like that is Mrs. Sam Rothstein..."

"Well, uh- that's not me..." you say, a little confused.

"It could be," he says in a low, soft voice, "Whaddya say? You wanna marry me?"

"Sam-" you start to feel overwhelmed for a few reasons: 1. He literally just proposed to you, but 2. "You're still married, Sam. I couldn't be your wife even if I wanted to!" Tears start to form in your eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey, shhh..." he says, pulling you into a cuddle, "You remember when I flew back to Vegas last week to go close the sale on the house there?"

You sniffle and look up at him, "Mm-hmm."

"Well I ran into one of the judges that used to come by the casino all the time, he was a big spender, but we treated him real nice. He told me he had heard everything from his friends on the force, everything about Ginger and the car bombing. We talked for a while, and he told me to stop by his chambers before I left the city," Sam fishes in his pocket for some folded up papers, "and he gave me this."

He hands you the papers to unfold and look at. "Oh... Oh, Sam! He granted you a divorce. Why didn't you tell me??"

"I wanted to surprise you..." He smiles that charming smile.

"Well, I'm certainly surprised," you hug him by nuzzling into his chest, "I didn't even know you were considering this yet."

"I've been considering it for years, honey," he whispers, kissing you on the temple, "ever since I told you I love you."

You both pause to simply take in the other person for a moment: Sam's clothes all disheveled and your still in your lingerie, cuddling on the stone counter.

"You know I think you're perfect, right? If there was just one thing I could change about you, it would be your last name. So, whaddya think, princess? You wanna try Rothstein on for size?"

The tears quickly return to your eyes, "Yeah, yeah- yes!" You grab his face and start kissing him over and over.

He can hardly pull you off of him for all the kisses, not that he wants to. However, when you decide you're done loving on your fiancé, he apologizes, "I'm sorry I don't have a ring for you right now, but ummm," he reaches for his little pinky ring; it's gold and pink to match his outfit for that day, "you can wear this for now." He slips the piece of metal onto your left ring finger; it doesn't fit that well, but you're honored to wear it.

Sam sits up, sliding off the counter. He stands at the edge of the island, pulling you towards him and wrapping your legs around his waist. He cups your head in both his hands and kisses you softly. "Wanna go to 'break in' the bathtub, Mrs. Rothstein?"

[itsadamcole]

christmas lights - pt. 3

fem!reader x drew mcintyre

reader and drew come face to face ...

word count: 2.3k+

warnings: mentions of cheating, mentions of divorce, mentions of being intoxicated, angst, rebuilding of a broken relationship

— part 4 tomorrow, then two more christmas themed imagines after that —

masterlist || request an imagine here

part 1 || part 2 || part 4

***

Weeks pass and you finally reached out to Drew after you've finally calmed down. Candice told you to hear him out so you told him to come by the house today.

Drew is home for a few days so he is stopping by so the two of you can at least air everything out. You don't know if you'll be able to fix the relationship.

You took off your wedding band and engagement ring because looking at them on your finger made you upset. You don't plan on putting them back on today.

You do dress like you haven't been crying your eyes out for the past six weeks. You wear a silky light blue button up and white jeans. You don't bother with putting shoes on so you're barefoot. You tie your hair into a ponytail on top of your head.

Now you wait for Drew to show up. You sit on the couch as you wait. You try to think about something else, anything else, but it's almost impossible. Especially after you hear a car pull into the driveway.

Sighing, you prepare yourself to come face to face with your husband, if that's what he still is. You don't know anymore.

Drew knocks on the door and you get up, walking into the foyer and opening the door.

The Scotsman stands in front of you, and it takes everything in you to not fall into his arms and just cry. He's dressed casually. A t-shirt and jeans with sneakers. His hair is in a low ponytail on the back of his head.

"Hi," you squeak.

Drew says, "Hey. May I come in?"

Nodding, you step aside and he walks in. You close the door and join Drew, who's now in the living room. He looks around at all the pictures you haven't taken down yet.

You ask, "Do you want something to drink?"

He shakes his head and says, "No, thank ya though."

You sit in the comfy chair adjacent from the couch that Drew is now sitting on. He looks over at you and you look down, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Look, Y/N," Drew sighs. "I'm ripping off the bandaid so we can go back to what we were before. I lied t'ya."

Avoiding eye contact, you say, "No shit, Drew. That's why we're here."

Drew says, "No, we're here because ya took a text out of context. Ya never let me fully explain myself."

Anger starts to rise in you and you say, "The text seemed pretty straight forward, Drew. I gave you the opportunity to explain yourself and you said that you cheated. Plain and simple."

The Scotsman says, "I told ya that I cheated because ya wanted t'hear me say it. I never cheated. I would never do that t'ya, Y/N. Ya know me-"

"I thought I knew you," you interrupt.

Drew says, "Will ya close yer stubborn mouth for two seconds so I can explain what happened?"

You blink at Drew. He's never used that tone with you. That tone of "be quiet or I swear to God". Never has Drew used that tone with you, which makes you be quiet.

As you wait, you cross your arms over your chest. You stay quiet.

Drew begins with, "I wanted t'buy you a present for Christmas and I needed another woman's opinion so I asked my friend Diane t'help me pick it out. That was my first mistake. The lingerie in the picture, that was supposed t'be for ya. Diane, who I've blocked by the way, always used t'tease me because I only have sex every few weeks. She asked if I wanted t'come over and pick it up to give t'ya but ya were home and I didn't want t'leave t'go get it since it had been a while since we've seen each other.

"That's when the picture comes in. She decided to mess with me and send that picture with the text. I never kissed her, I never slept with her, I never flirted with her. Nothing happened. I mean that. I never cheated, and I only told ya that because it's what ya wanted to hear. I've always stayed loyal t'ya, Y/N. I've never even thought about messing with someone else behind yer back," Drew finished.

His explanation lines up with everything, but your stubborn ass never let him fully explain yourself. You have your doubts, yes, but you should have let him explain himself that night.

That night was your worst nightmare come true when it never should have been.

Tears begin to well in your eyes and you mumble, "That makes perfect sense and I didn't believe you."

You cover your face with your hands. You hate that you never let Drew explain himself. You hate that you've been avoiding talking to him for weeks.

He stays quiet and the tears that formed begin to roll down your cheeks. You've hated Drew for the past six weeks when you had no reason. You almost wanted him to tell you he had been unloyal to you because you couldn't believe him at all. He sounded so panicky when he was trying to explain himself all those weeks ago that you thought that he was lying to you.

"I'm so sorry, Drew," you cry, face still covered. "I'm so sorry that I never let you explain yourself."

Drew gets up and walks over to you. He wraps his arms around you as he sits on the arm of the chair. You cry into his chest as he says, "No, I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm sorry that I made ya think ya weren't good enough. I'm sorry I made ya ever think that I cheated. Yer perfect for me and I almost ruined it."

You hug him tight and say, "I've hated you for the past few weeks and pushed you away for no reason."

"Hey, ya had every reason," Drew says. "Ya were emotional and I had told ya that I was unloyal. Ya had every right t'hate me and t'push me away, Y/N. I don't blame ya at all, and ya shouldn't blame yourself, love."

You finally look up at Drew, meeting his eyes and you say, "I love you. I never stopped even though I hated you for something you didn't do. I'm so sorry that we couldn't spend the last six weeks together when it's what you wanted."

Drew presses a kiss to your forehead and he says, "We can start over. Clean slates, yeah?"

You nod and say, "Yeah, I'd like that. I need to do one thing first."

He nods and you get up, running up the stairs. You grab your wedding band and engagement ring out of the jewelry box you put them in and put both rings on your finger. Then you grab the present you never gave Drew for Christmas before walking downstairs.

Your husband looks confused as you carry a wrapped gift down the stairs.

"I, um, was never able to give you this," you say. "So Merry belated Christmas, Drew."

The small box is unwrapped once you hand it to Drew. Inside the wrapping paper is a small box. Not the size that would contain a ring, but the size that would contain a bracelet.

Drew opens up the box and smiles when he sees the contents. It's a thin silver bracelet with Drew's initials engraved on one side of the date that's engraved in the metal with your initials engraved on the other side of date. The date is the day you married Drew.

He says, "Y/N. Ya got this fer me?"

You nod and say, "And I'm giving it to you a month and a half later so technically happy early Valentine's Day."

Your husband laughs and puts the bracelet on his left wrist. You notice he's wearing his wedding band. Your heart sinks as you realize he probably never took his off while you did.

Drew looks over at you and he says, "Thank ya, Y/N."

You nod and meet his eyes again. "No more secrets," you say. "Please?"

He shakes his head and says, "No more secrets, I promise. And no more lying."

"Yeah, I agree," you say, giving Drew a small smile.

Drew reaches up and touches your cheek lightly, and you lean into his touch. "Can I kiss ya?" he asks.

You nod and Drew stands up from the arm of the chair. He towers over you and you have to look up at him.

He leans down and lightly presses a kiss to your cheek. You move closer to Drew as the kiss intensifies just a little bit. Your eyes flutter closed and butterflies rise in your stomach as if this was your first kiss again with Drew. It almost feels like it.

The kiss continues for a few moments before Drew pulls away. He says, "I probably have t'build yer trust up again, don't I?"

You look up at him and say, "I mean, I have some doubts but I do believe you for the most part." You take his hand. "But we can't just jump right back into how we were. We've been separated for six weeks."

Drew asks, "What do ya want to do? Do ya want me to stay with Sheamus a little bit longer or I can rent an apartment for a few months that way we can take things slow."

"You don't have to move out," you say, staring up at Drew. "We can asleep in separate bedrooms for a few weeks while we mend the relationship. We're gonna need some boundaries temporarily while we fix things."

He nods and says, "Whatever ya want t'do, Y/N. If ya want me t'stay then I'll stay."

Smiling up at him, you say, "I want you to stay, but separate bedrooms for right now."

Drew says, "Then I'll stay. I'll have Sheamus or Cesaro drop my clothes off later. Right now, I just want t'spend some time with my wife while I'm home."

Your face gets a little flustered as he talks.

You believe that this relationship can be fixed. Drew's explanation makes sense and lines up with a lot. You're just upset with yourself that you never let him explain.

A question pops into your head and you ask, "Drew, how long did you know Diane?"

He says, "I've known her a few months. She works in makeup for Raw and that's how we met. She's become a close friend while I'm on the road."

"Is that why you asked her to help you shop for me?" you ask.

Drew nods and says, "I talked t'her about ya all the time and she knew what ya liked and didn't like. That's how much I talked t'her about ya." A chuckle leaves his lips. "I didn't ask Candice or Indi because I wanted it t'be a surprise and I knew they would probably end up telling ya or ya'd find out because ya always talk to them. So I asked Diane and we shopped when we were in New York. Looking back, I probably shoulda asked Candice."

You listen to the tone of his and he sounds genuine. His accent gets a little thicker when he lies but it stays the same.

"Did she ever try to come onto you?" you ask.

Drew shakes his head and says, "Not that I'm aware of. Maybe I was just oblivious because I was always thinking about ya and when I'd get back t'ya. I always used to say how I'd miss ya and how much I missed us, ya know, having sex or being intimate with each other so she used t'tease me about it. The picture she sent overstepped a boundary that I didn't think I'd needed t'put down so the next day, after I sobered up and everything, I told her that she overstepped, that our friendship was over, and blocked her."

Sobered up? "You got drunk that night?" you ask.

He nods and says, "Severely. Sheamus and Cesaro picked me up and I threw up."

You frown. That's why Sheamus said that Drew wasn't there when you called that night to make sure he made it over okay.

"I called, that night," you admit. "I called Sheamus to see if you made it there okay. My heart sank because I thought you were with her after he told me you weren't there."

Drew crouches in front of you and he says, "I drove to a bar. I drank heavily for a while before Sheamus and Cesaro found me extremely intoxicated. That's all. I wasn't with Diane."

You look into his pretty blue eyes and you feel butterflies as you make eye contact with him. "I know," you say. "I'm sorry for being a terrible wife recently."

Your husband rests his hands on your knees and he says, "Ya have no reason to apologize, love. The past few weeks have all been on me. I gave ya the space ya wanted. I knew ya'd reach out when ya were ready to talk."

Sighing, you run your fingers through Drew's dark hair and you say, "I'm glad you're back. Let's never do that again. Separate, I mean."

He lets out a breathy laugh and says, "I agree. It was terrible."

You laugh a bit and hug him, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him close.

You finally feel at home again in Drew's arms. Yes, he has a bit to prove but you're willing to work with him. You believe him and because you love him, you want to make sure this relationship gets fixed because you could never forgive yourself if this relationship ended for any reason.

—

tags: @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan

[hellomynameisbisexual]

When I first met my husband, Neal, I thought he was gay. Maybe that's because he told me he was gay. So while I was attracted to him, I figured he would just be my gay best friend. Then, one night, we wound up in bed together, and let's just say that he did not act like a gay best friend usually acts. In fact, he seemed more comfortable with my body than plenty of straight men I'd dated had been. And after a hot-and-heavy weekend, I knew a lot more about Neal than "gay" had hinted at: He'd been married before (to a woman), and he was (still is) attracted to both sexes. Since his divorce he'd mostly dated men, so he'd gone with "gay" over "bi" when we met, but deep down that's what he is: bisexual. I was not entirely surprised, and I was definitely not disappointed.

However, I did have some concerns. Early in our relationship, which got super serious, super fast, I was anxious: I worried Neal would change his mind, say that he was actually truly 100 percent gay after all, and leave me for a man. (Maybe you've heard the joke? A man who says he's bisexual is gay, straight, or lying.) Another part of me worried whether a bisexual guy could ever really be monogamous. Also, didn't being with a man who was interested in men and women mean that I was competing against everyone in the world for his attention?

I just wasn't that familiar with bi guys. Bi women are practically mainstream: Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, Anna Paquin, Jessie J, and Evan Rachel Wood, to name only a few, have all spoken openly about being bisexual. When a woman says she's bi, it makes her more desirable to men. But few celeb men are out as bi—and you never see two guys making out in a bar to get women to pay attention.

Plus, I must admit I wondered whether all the stuff people say about bisexuals might actually turn out to be true—that they're untrustworthy, just going through a phase, or slutty; that they'll break your heart or give you STDs and probably cooties too.

Dating a bi guy, even one as great and as honest as Neal, was daunting to think about.

The sliding scale of sexuality explained

Understanding the basic science of bisexuality helped me a lot. Ritch Savin-Williams, professor of developmental psychology at Cornell University, who has done extensive research into arousal patterns of gay and bisexual individuals, puts it simply: "Bisexual men are attracted to both sexes. They have variations in how much they lean toward women or men." It's important to note that Savin-Williams, like most social scientists, differentiates between sexual orientation and sexual behavior. "So a guy could be attracted to 70 percent men and 30 percent women," he says, "but still meet a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and be monogamous. His orientation is bi, but his sexual behavior is straight." Conversely, if someone is having sex with both women and men, then he is behaviorally bisexual, regardless of what he says his orientation is.

What many women struggle with is not the fear that a guy is bi but the fear that he's temporarily bi and will eventually identify as gay. It's not a weird thing to worry about (I worried about it!), since many men have done exactly that. "Before homosexuality was as accepted as it is now," says Allen Rosenthal, a researcher at Northwestern University, "homosexual men often identified as bi in the process of coming out, like getting their feet wet. But it was a disservice to genuinely bisexual men because it left a lot of people with the impression that bi is a transitional orientation." The good news is that the reasons the bi-to-gay move used to be so prevalent—societal and family pressures, fears of being openly gay—are lessening. These days, it's more OK to be gay, and that's making it more OK to be bi. Progress!

So Could You, Should You? We asked glamour.com readers if they'd date a bi guy. The results:

__I'd have a lot of questions,

but maybe.……………………………16%

No way.………………………………..36%

Totally, why not?…………………….48%

In other words, two out of three of you would consider it. Explained one commenter: "If he's into me, he's into me. If he happens to be into guys too, well…we only have more in common!"__

Our little nonsecret

Neal assuaged my anxieties by being so enthusiastic about me that I had no reason to doubt his attraction. I was impressed by his self-awareness too. He realized he was bisexual when he was 20, and he still considers himself attracted to both sexes, at a ratio of about 80:20, women to men. My friends said he was an improvement over more macho guys I'd brought home in the past, and no one really made a big deal about the bi thing. They'd already seen him with men and with women, and we run with a pretty arty crowd. Bottom line: I was in love. As the years passed, I saw that Neal had more integrity and self-knowledge than anyone I'd ever known. And so, reader, I married him. We've been together and monogamous for 12 years, married for eight.

Neal is comfortable with his sexuality. He's "straightish," in the terminology of a gay friend of ours. But he is kind of "gayish" too. He is a performance artist, eccentric, and has—true to stereotype—better style than I do. And if I'm like, "Wow, Mike is superhot," he doesn't stare blankly but says, "Totally. Because of the way he plays guitar, right?"

Generally, we don't tell the world about Neal's orientation (well, until now!). Not everyone is as supportive as our circle, and to be honest, I have zero interest in talking with someone who thinks I'm in a sham marriage just because my guy doesn't go, "Ewww!" when Channing Tatum takes off his shirt.

There have been a few bumps along the road. Early on, Neal confessed that he had a crush on someone else. In the moment before he told me who it was, as my heart sank, I thought: Oh God, it's a man. He's gay. He's going to leave me for a man. I am a fool. How did I not see it coming? How stupid could I be?

Then he told me who it was: a woman. And we worked through it. In retrospect, I think we would have been OK even if it had been a man. In the years since, we've weathered crushes I've developed too, and a million other surprising and not-so-surprising things. I don't think we're any more open-minded than most couples—but the amount of honesty required at the beginning of our relationship has served us well.

Talk, then talk some more

So how do you make it work with a bi guy? "If I were a woman involved with a bisexual man," says Savin-Williams, "I would have very honest communication with him about what he means when he uses the term." Trust me, I asked Neal a lot of questions about what he was into and what to expect as our relationship deepened. Would he commit to monogamy? What kind of boundaries did we need to set up? Be clear about what you're asking, warns Lisa Diamond, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah. "The question Are you attracted to men?' is different from Would you want to have a sexual relationship with a man?'" she points out. "Many men might say, It's a hot fantasy, but not one I would act on.'" At that point the question becomes whether or not you're OK with the fantasy. On the other hand, if he says he wants more than a fantasy when it comes to men…then he might not be the guy for you.

No matter whom you're dating, part of love is taking that leap into the unknown. "The only way to be truly sure," says Barbara Hernandez, a family and marriage therapist, "is over time. It depends on the values of the person, and the strength of commitment, and whether both partners work hard at it." Good advice for any couple, even a straight-as-an-arrow one.

At some point, if you're still freaking out about whether your bi guy is really bi, you might need to acknowledge that what you're worried about is whether he's really yours. "We all need to be honest with ourselves," says Diamond. "I wonder if the underlying concern isn't the same one we always have: Does he really want me? Is he going to leave me? That's a concern as old as the hills." With Neal, I came to look at it this way: If he was choosing to be with me, then he was choosing me over all men and women everywhere. And that felt kind of awesome.

Believe it or not, Neal's sexuality doesn't come up that often in our daily lives. My failure to close drawers, his inability to throw anything away, and an ongoing disagreement on who is the more lenient parent are all topics that cause more strife than his sometimes thinking men are hot. Really, who can blame him? Men are hot, especially ones who are honest and confident. Especially ones who, even though they may be attracted to lots of people, pick you.

[crimsonbluemoon]

For the prompt game 12//07//25 please? Ah... Ohmtoonz? or a pair you've been itching to do :3

EACH TIME I SAY I WONT OVERDUE IT

Yet here we are. >.> 

AU: BabysitterTrope: Childhood friendsPrompt: “I know this looks bad, but I swear it’s not.” 

Pairing: Ohmtoonz

“Okay, I know this looks bad-” Ryan had to take a deep breath to keep from bursting out in laughter at the scene. His kitchen, which had been pristine and tidy when he’d left for a meeting with his lawyer three hours ago, was covered in more colors than he thought he could process. In the middle of the room sat Joe, hands splotched in yellow and smearing the substance down the tiles already coated in pink. The ‘babysitter’, (the term used very loosely, since it was a last minute decision after Joe’s original babysitter got sick) was in no better shape. Blue clumps of paint (Ryan hoped it was paint) were threaded through hair he remembered being much fluffier when they were children. Age had tamed it, though the red beard was even brighter now with fingerpaint between the strands. The place, his four year old son, and his babysitter were a disaster that Ryan still wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry over. “But I swear it’s not.”

“Luke.” Trying to keep from smiling, Ryan stepped forward, hands leaving his slack’s pockets to point above. “My ceiling is purple.” 

“And orange!” Joe supplied happily, splashing his hands down into an actual pile of paint beside him. 

“What happened? You’re a police officer; you literally shoot people for a living. How did a four year old get the jump on you like this?” Ryan had to tease, because it’d been so long since he’d been able to. Luke had always been the one that got away; his best friend for nearly two decades before, at eighteen, he left to travel Europe and ‘find his meaning’ in life. Ryan had wanted to go, nearly asked to join, but had simply stood in the airport and held back tears just long enough for Luke to enter the gate without seeing them. He’d been head over heels in love back then, and sometimes he’d thought the feeling was mutual. But all the ‘what ifs’ flew away with Luke on his plane, and Ryan had forced himself to move on. 

Eight years, one messy divorce, and a son later, Ryan had run into his high school love at the bank four months prior. Luke had come back to their hometown years ago to become a cop, but Ryan’s wonderful ex-wife had demanded he move to the west coast with her. He’d never got wind of Luke’s return, too distracted by the birth of Joe and the mother of his child abandoning her duties to run off with the pool guy. Ryan hadn’t been able to move back to his hometown until four months ago, still working on finalizing the paperwork and letting Joe finish his first year in pre-school before moving him back across the country. 

He’d felt a little lonely, raising his toddler without a hand to help support him on days he didn’t want to get out of bed. It wasn’t like his marriage had given him much in that department, either. She’d been distant after Joe was born, jealous of the attention Ryan gave their son, and sought her happiness in someone else. She hadn’t even said goodbye to their son when she left, which had been the coldest part of it all. And Ryan didn’t know how to de-thaw from her abandonment. Joe helped, because he was Ryan’s world. Honestly, the only good thing about the marriage was the ball of optimistic sunshine. But he had bouts of crying and questions about why his mom left that kept Ryan awake and aching for hours. Wounded with nobody willing to help heal him. Maybe he’d always been that alone, that empty and unlovable-

Except one look of relief and the words ‘There you are’ in a bank full of people was enough to fill his heart to the brim again. 

“Your kid’s way sneakier than the idiots in our town.” Luke glanced down at Joe with a grin that proved his next words were affectionate. “Like a damn little squirrel.”   

“That’s my favorite animal!” Joe gasped out, and Ryan shook his head in disbelief. Two days ago, it had been a flamingo. He’d begged Ryan to buy him a lawn decoration of the pink bird, which Ryan had firmly said no to. They barely even had a lawn, and he knew that Joe would never play with it. The puppy dog eyes were hard to refuse, but Ryan was getting better at putting his foot down. They did not need the bird.

But then Joe asked Luke, who bought it before Ryan came back from the bathroom. Ryan wasn’t sure who he scolded more that night over chicken fingers and fries. 

“Yup, you mentioned that. Six times.” Without an ounce of annoyance, Luke let Joe climb onto his lap, sitting cross legged so the toddler had a better seat. Green was smeared over Luke’s sweatpants from where Joe had dragged his knees, but like the amazing human he was, Luke didn’t show any regret over being a human jungle gym. “And remember what I told you each time?”

“Daddy’s favorite animal is a bunny,” Joe chirped back, and the long forgotten memory bubbled up too quick for Ryan to hide his blush.

“Luke!”

“What? I didn’t tell him why you like rabbits so much.” Except there was a grin on Luke’s face that was anything but innocent. Because how could it be, when Luke had never let him live down the time he walked in on Jonathan and Evan’s first time. He hand’t meant to blurt out ‘they were fucking like rabbits’ so loudly, and didn’t know that Mini had been recording the party. Craig got the perfect angle of Ryan nearly throwing himself down the stairs to escape the traumatizing experience. He wasn’t sure who had the tape anymore (maybe Panda, since his friend always liked to watch it whenever he was needing a pick me up), but Ryan had to guess that Luke watched it over a hundred times. 

“We’re not talking about this,” Ryan said, sending Luke a meaningful look through his blush. “We need to talk about who’s going to clean this disaster you and my son created.” 

“I’ve got the kitchen if you take the rugrat.” The offer of help was so simple, yet every time, it sucker-punched Ryan. Luke had not been expecting Joe when Ryan came back from California, blaming Jonathan’s ‘lack of understanding with the English language’ as to why he didn’t know. Ryan hadn’t been a fan of social media, and only kept in touch with a few old friends from the town. But like Joe was his own, Luke didn’t hesitate to jump into the fray with Ryan, helping out whenever he could. Being a cop meant weird hours and long shifts, but Luke never complained when he popped over to visit them after work. Ryan never needed to ask for help; Luke just gave it. Whether it was cooking Joe food while Ryan took a much needed shower, or picking out pjs as Ryan bathed the fussy kid, Luke was there to lend a hand and a smile right when Ryan needed it.

But for the life of him, Ryan couldn’t figure out why. Luke was attractive and single, and the talk of the town even now. It was hard to go into the supermarket without hearing one of the cashiers asking Ryan how Luke was doing. It was common knowledge in their little town where Luke spent most of his days, and it seemed people thought the best way to catch his attention was through befriending Ryan again. The jealousy and insecurity from high school reared up, and Ryan had to attack it with a fire hose to keep from Luke knowing. Luke had a right to date, to court whoever he wanted, because he didn’t owe Ryan and Joe anything-

“Uh oh, daddy’s daydreaming again.” Joe’s words and a snort of Luke made Ryan re-focus, turning his attention back to the two still on the floor. Luke looked so content with the toddler in his lap, and Joe showed no signs of discomfort being so close to the other man. They were covered in paint and his house was a wreck, but Ryan felt his heart swell at the warm image. 

“Maybe you should go pick out your pjs so I can check in with your dad.” Luke’s words were like magic; with a quickness that he never had when Ryan asked him to move, Joe scampered out of the kitchen. Little purple footprints made Ryan groan, but his shoulders barely got to slump before warm hands were pulling him forward into a hug. 

“You’re covered in paint,” Ryan protested weakly, though put up no real fight. The smooth hand that slid down his spine melted his stress away, and Ryan felt helpless to the urge of sinking into Luke’s warm chest. 

“What did Tyler say?” Luke didn’t mince words, but kept his voice low against Ryan’s ear. There was no reason to shiver at the contact or intimacy of their position, because Ryan knew it meant nothing like what his heart hoped it would. 

“He said this next court case will be the final one; she’s not fighting for any custody.” He should have been happy about the news, since it’d been what he and Tyler had asked for when discussing Joe’s fate. But it’d stung, knowing that even now, his ex-wife wanted nothing to do with the son they had created together. How did he explain that to Joe when he got older? When he asked questions about her, when he got angry and confused about his own self-worth? Ryan would do whatever he could to raise Joe with love and care, but fights would happen. They’d disagree over bigger things than eating broccoli or only reading two stories before bed. Who would Joe turn to in those moments? That was why he’d probably tried so hard with his ex-wife to begin with; he’d never wanted Joe to feel unsupported or disadvantaged because he’d only have Ryan. 

But he couldn’t make her love Joe. And that killed him more than the divorce ever could. 

“She’s an idiot.” Luke’s words of anger toward a woman he never met was unlike him. Charisma and open-mindedness were his middle name, never judging a book by its cover. But Joe’s mother seemed to be the one exception, Luke showing disdain toward her from day one. “She had everything anyone could ever want, and she gave it up like an idiot.”

“You really liked babysitting Joe that much, huh?” Ryan tried to make a joke, but his laugh was cut off when Luke grasped his shoulders and pulled him back far enough to force eye contact. 

“I’m not just talking about him.” The serious gaze made it hard to breathe, Ryan’s chest stuffed with too much to sort through. His eyes blinked slowly, reminiscent of the unspoken feelings he’d shut down at the airport years ago. Now they oozed out without his permission, and he didn’t have a plane to help hide them this time around. 

“I’m…I’m not-”

“Not what? Intelligent? Charming? Sweet? A great father that your kid would spend every second of the day with if he could? Not someone who deserves love?” Luke’s words were followed by a grin, a warm palm cupping Ryan’s face and slowly dragging a thumb under his wet eye. “Not the most amazing guy I’ve ever got to meet? Who, if I ever got the chance to call my husband, would never go a day without knowing how crazy in love with him I was? Cause I’ll tell you right now, you are all of those things. Every single one of them. You are worth so much more than you could ever know. And I’ll knock out any fucking moron who says anything else.”

“Luke…” But what could Ryan say? His stomach fluttered at the words, hope rising in his throat and keeping his vocal chords from speaking again. There was no room for protest, because Luke’s steady words and lack of hesitation proved the statements came from his very being. He really saw Ryan as something to brag about, as someone to keep. When his own wife, who was supposed to want him until death do them part, threw him away. Ryan knew he needed to say something, to give a response in some way to the confession (and Jesus, did Luke say he loved Ryan?), but his mind was too fuzzy and scared to speak and destroy the fantasy. 

“Luke said a bad word!” Joe, however, had no such problems, and Ryan forced his eyes away from Luke to see his son with his hands pointing to the counter. “He needs to put money in the swear jar!” 

“Oh, ri-right.” Ryan swallowed slowly and tried to focus, but a little peek at Luke from the corner of his eye made his heart jump into his throat again. His blush was deep, he knew it, but there was no saving himself. “You owe a dollar to the jar.” 

Luke’s grin was a mile wide as he slipped past, dropping the bill into the jar while keeping his eyes set on Ryan. And when he spoke, Ryan knew he wasn’t speaking about the swear. 

“So worth it.”

[howtosurvivebeingsingle]

I Do, Do I?

If you follow my regular blog that I rarely post on, you'll know that my heterosexual roomie proposed to me. The thing is, we're both hetero females that decided that instead of getting married by 50 at the rate we're going, we may as well. The amount of benefits married couples get while they're still in college is ridiculous. We have friends that live a town away that are both married since they graduated high school and the amount of money they were able to save landed them a cozy four-bedroom house. Sounds too good to be true, and believe me I wish it were. I am still attending my local university myself trying to double major, as is my roommate. We both have multiple jobs to support our apartment but with expenses, we're borderline broke. There's enough to get by, that being said when classes start is where the trouble begins. Marriage is looking pretty tempting right now. Is it really all it's cracked out to be? Here are the details I've heard so far; You get generous financial aid meaning starving is less likely, Married life is less expensive which is less cost of living in an apartment or house, Mutual motivation from your spouse (depends but mine's fine), and it prepares you for what marriage is actually like.

In Short, my maybe wife and I will pay less for college, less for housing, have that emotional support most people lack, and get a taste of what being married to a man is like (sort of). The bargain is that if we actually go through with this, we'll still date men as we please and if we're in an actual relationship and the guy proposes we get a divorce. Imagine your maid of honor is your ex-wife? There's more humor to it. He picks you up for a date and she's watching tv. Before you go, "Bye Honey!", or she gets the door for you and introduces herself as your actual married wife. The situation is so complex that I'm actually near writing a book about it. Here's where I advertise my Finding Mr. Darcy book trilogy that's in the works. If there's one thing I know about, it's being single. I'm the Carrie Bradshaw of singles instead of sex, that is if I can even claim that title. I asked my friend if he thought being married had all the perks and he said this; "It's a pipedream trying to trap singles into thinking life is better with someone else. True as that last statement maybe, the rest is not. The idea is that after marriage it's time to settle down. You move into a cottage in the plains, wide-open spaces where all the little kids can run around. Your husband comes back from work and the two of you snuggle in bed without a care, it's bullshit. Girls and I mean girls are too high maintenance now that you've got to give them everything they want or it's no deal. Hell, you're even lucky to find a woman who actually wants to care for you as much as herself. Total pipedream, and waste in this century."

That was the first time I had ever heard him speak so hopelessly about love. I expected an answer like "No, true love is out there somewhere." as he often said, but this was not the case at all. Either he was in a really bad mood that day, or I don't know my best friend like I thought I did. The next day, I decided to take a look at married couples in the workplace, by workplace, I mean my job in digital services. From what I was seeing was a lot of arguing. Either the man would be on the computer and the woman was nagging on him the whole time or the woman was on the computer and the man was making her feel like she was stupid. If both parties were separate, the wife would call every ten minutes to ask meaningless questions, or the wife was present with two or more hyper kids. It was hard for them to get anything done with or without their spouse present. I also decided to take a look at single parents and the closest one was my sister. In 2019, she got pregnant with my nephew by her boyfriend Will. She had him in march of 2020, so he's about a year old and beginning to get used to his legs. When she's home, she's stressed from being home from work, and on her off days, she's stressed with her son's rambunctious behavior. Our mother watches him when she's working her ten-hour shifts and leaves the rest to her when she gets back. Pretty soon it'll just be my sister and her kid when mom moves down south of the US. Both can verify that he's quite the handful and with my experience, he is. That doesn't mean I love him any less, but my share of babysitting isn't any easier.

The situation is mutual whether you're married or not with kids. Stress with a side of stress and exhaustion. Putting kids aside, I've seen couples without kids like my maybe wife's other best friend. Things seem all prim and proper when they come to visit, but according to her, they still manage to argue almost on a daily. My coworkers feel the same way about marriage life even when I had explained my situation. They continued to urge me to take things into careful consideration before jumping head into marriage. I kept getting negative answers from people despite my search to find some hope for the situation. Then the question crossed my mind; despite the fairytale images given to us in childhood, is it really worth the trouble of getting married?

Julie: "It always ends in tears. Someone leaves, someone dies, or you get a divorce."

Varsha: "So long as they compliment you. You need support from both parties for it to work."

Denny: "It depends. You don't need a man or woman to support you all the way, you can do fine just being single. My wife and I are great, but I'd be just as fine alone."

Enzo: "No. All odds are against you in the long run. The woman finds someone else to bug and takes half of everything."

Annie: "It's more of a want than a need. The best thing is not to be pressured into it if you're not 100% into it."

Vinny: "Only if you're ready and trust each other all the way."

Marcus: "The question you should be asking is if friendship is worth it. That's what it really comes down to."

Lori: "It can be fulfilling despite the fear of failure."

The answers kept leading me in circles and in the end, I wound up back where I started. It was a total toss-up of whether you got heads or tails, but I wasn't about to give in that easily. I decided to take my venture to a baseball game on Friday and what I saw there nearly startled me. A couple of 65 years renewed their vows at the stadium. I started to think that maybe all it did take was a bit of compromise and despite half the negativity from my interview and friends there really is someone for everyone. Perhaps the divorced people just haven't found the right person just yet. Like my grandmother on my mother's side, she married four men before she met my grandfather and they've been together almost fifty years. I guess you could say it was a task of trial and error, but it worked out in the long run. Neither of them has ever had a reason to want to divorce. Before I leave questions unanswered, yes my grandfather too also had his share of divorces. The numbers don't seem to matter, only the fact that there really could be someone out there for everyone. A glimmer of hope to end this rather late and brief update. I wonder if there really is hope, is there still time for we singles of every shade and orientation. Is there truly that soulmate we all long for somewhere besides where we are? Until next time and Much Love Your Way Darlings!

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: I've told all my family James: oh Ava: Maybe don't oh that hard Ava: thinking you've changed your mind and that's going to be very difficult to do a 180 on tbh James: I'm actually thinking about Bella's dad's reaction Ava: As far as I'm aware, my dad doesn't have a shotgun Ava: or an excellent moustache Ava: definitely not James: Mine does, on both counts, but the mentality simply isn't there James: war of words is as far as things have so far escalated Ava: That's a good visual Ava: what about your mum? James: she's very busy lining up every single woman she's aware of between the ages of 20 to 30 within a mile radius or so Ava: Very Mr Darcy Ava: I'll gatecrash James: I look forward to the dramatic dance scene during which we only touch palms & exchange looks Ava: I bet Lizzie Bennet didn't 😳 Ava: shame my sister isn't around to push over so your parents are forced to take us in whilst she languishes James: 😂 James: I'll happily push my sister over or let her fall through an iced over pond to further our romantic narrative Ava: 💘 Ava: I know it's less about me but I can swoon nonetheless James: if you're 😳 then you'll have my full attention regardless Ava: Promise? James: yes Ava: even if the single ladies have really good period costumes? James: well, I hadn't considered that Ava: 😏 Ava: rude James: before I decide, what are you going to be wearing when you gatecrash? Ava: Obviously something unexpectedly knockout Ava: am the protagonist, need I remind you James: okay, what I'm hearing is anything you already own or could pick out from anywhere given a few moments Ava: You're adorable Ava: how did it go really then? James: does that mean I'll get to see you before there's a seasons changing montage? because I really want to Ava: Providing you don't need to exile yourself, of course James: I'm sure there's now several people in both our lives who would like me to, but I won't Ava: They were as receptive as I expected but I've made it clear I won't be stopping seeing you, hopefully put to bed the concerns I can James: in my case, the only concern is outward appearances so there's very little I can do even if I particularly cared to James: & Teddy isn't concerned so much as shocked & appalled Ava: Of course Ava: at least I'm an addendum re. the main issue of the whole divorce, in that case? Ava: yeah, do you think I should make a point of talking to him or give him space? James: will you? as far as he's concerned I haven't made a good decision within his living memory, but you two are friends, or were Ava: I'll try, definitely Ava: if I can make him see it's as much my decision as yours, it might help, in the end Ava: and I can handle another person having their say James: thank you James: I meant what I said, I'm more than willing to discuss this with your parents, at any point James: I can handle that Ava: Thank you Ava: I think it might help Ava: but I also think I'm gonna give them a cool-off period or it won't be at all helpful and that won't be at all your fault James: understood James: I'm currently having to employ a similar situation with Jay's playdates because her friend's mothers cannot possibly keep their nose out of my business or their mouths shut about where hers is and every other single detail they believe to be fact Ava: Oh lord Ava: I wouldn't have envied you having to socialize by-proxy with the self-professed yummy mummies before but now Ava: I can only imagine Ava: Poor Jay Ava: I can't offer a human child for playdates but Frank is always down Ava: and my lips are, naturally, sealed James: I was hoping to take them away for a few days but it's as though my dad has decided that in lieu of my failings in other areas I need to suddenly become the hardest worker in the history of this company Ava: Of course Ava: Hmm James: because obviously what my children require most in their mother's absence is to also see me less Ava: Well, yeah, that's not potentially traumatizing Ava: thank God for School being right 'round the corner Ava: and Matty still being portable James: I've been bringing them both to the office & the bulging vein in his temple is honestly such a strong contender for the book cover Ava: 😏 That's how you do it Ava: risk his health and wellbeing so you get the time off for yours James: King's didn't teach me everything I know, I've got a few tricks Ava: When are you giving me that tour? James: When can I see you? Ava: When is your dad not working you to death? Ava: I can make it work James: [A pause while he figures that out] James: he's out of the office all day on [a date in the foreseeable to make this office hookup a thing] Ava: No offense but if your brother shows up again you need to send him on a really long coffee run James: as you said, school is right around the corner, meaning my parents priorities have shifted back to making sure he'll go Ava: In that case Ava: 😈 James: 😇 for saying yes Ava: I have ulterior motives, I promise you James: oh really? Ava: really Ava: it's very unfair I've yet to see you in your work clothes James: [sends her a pic because nobody can stop him] Ava: um hello 😍 Ava: you're really going to be away from me looking so good Ava: unfair James: I'm sorry James: I really, really am Ava: Me too Ava: I've not seen you enough to warrant how badly I want to right now James: [a casual essay about how much he misses her and wants her and everything he wishes they could do, in a saucy way but also just in cute ways like] Ava: James James: Ava Ava: I really love you, you know James: I love you too James: what I most wish is that we could go away for a while Ava: That would be Ava: so good Ava: maybe we could in like the Christmas hols, when everything has calmed down Ava: hopefully James: it would be indescribable Ava: I have no doubt you would do your best Ava: and it'd be impressive James: the subject matter lends itself to nothing but my best Ava: I'm honoured🙇 James: so am I, especially by that visual Ava: Gutted I'm out rn and can't immediately fulfill that wish for a visual like you did Ava: when I get back though James: [sends her an even better visual] James: until then, there you are Ava: oh, well, you aren't distracting at all 😖 Ava: definitely gonna get you back when you're so hard at work James: 😈 James: I so badly hope you do Ava: I intend to Ava: every day of the week Ava: but especially when I get to come see you James: you know, the things I intend to do to you on this desk drastically shifts the audience we're going to be able to pitch this book to Ava: You'll have to restrain your imagination in the write-up so the audience can use theirs to fill in the blanks Ava: because there's no way we're leaving your office 'til we've done everything you've thought of James: finally some overtime I'm not upset about Ava: It's all about balance, right? 😇 James: & I'm aware that you've got very good balance Ava: Will that help me be the best good luck charm on your best I can be? 🤔 Ava: intriguing 😋 James: absolutely, but if you need any more help, I'll help you Ava: You're very helpful, baby James: I try to be Ava: I've never met anyone like you James: I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else that comes close to you either James: I certainly haven't before Ava: Good Ava: I don't need to think about competiting so soon James: you don't need to think about it, full stop Ava: not 'til the dance, anyway James: even then, I'll only have eyes for you, that's the cliche Ava: Of course Ava: doesn't mean I'm not gonna do everything within my power to ensure it's worth your 👀s while James: I don't want to dance with anyone else, Ava James: I don't want to do any of this with anyone else Ava: I know Ava: you know I feel the same too James: you know I couldn't have done this without you though Ava: You did it all though, all the hard conversations and hard decisions James: a lot of those decisions were made for me, so there's limited credit due, & a lack of conversation with her just cements that Ava: Yeah but the ball is in her court on that one Ava: you're if not ready at least willing whenever she is James: of course, because that's not a decision, to not act, not any more Ava: yeah, and that's going to be a good thing Ava: even if it is not good all the time James: I'll be interested to see if she gets in contact before school starts because that's unlikely to be a good thing Ava: Yes, I wonder if this is just a summer holiday or Ava: makes you wonder what she's even doing that could keep her so 'busy' James: whoever cleans the pool, probably, not that she'd ever admit to such a cliche Ava: 😬 Ava: definitely not getting paid enough James: 😂 Ava: I'm just glad that right now you don't have to deal with her on the day to day, even if it's only a momentary reprieve, it'll never be that bad again James: me too, I can't & won't pretend that I didn't know how bad it had become but actually getting a break from it makes me wonder how either of us dealt with that for as long as we have Ava: I bet Ava: she must've been as sick of it, even though she was the one not letting go and doing the fucked up shit, that has to be exhausting to live like that Ava: full level hell beast all the time, like 😈 Ava: sorry, I'm not fully sure where the line is re. her Ava: but I've been hearing great things from Nancy and Buster today so, that's in my head James: it's okay, you're not wrong James: & neither are they Ava: Okay Ava: if it's ever weird or like, not up for discussion though, just say the word Ava: or several, as you're especially loquacious James: there's a fantastic word Ava: as far as safewords go Ava: I can think of a few situations where it might be hard to get out but isn't that half the fun James: I'll make a note of it, because yes, that's definitely a large percentage of the thrill Ava: I wish you were here Ava: I only am to get away from my parents for a bit James: where are you? Ava: My friend's house Ava: Her sister is called Stasia, think she was your year-ish? James: I remember her, whether she would me, favourably or otherwise, I can't possibly comment James: I'll take you home when you want to go Ava: Really? Ava: well, I'll go at whatever time means I get some extra with you James: okay, I'll take that as my cue to leave now, not only because any reason to get out of here is welcomed though Ava: Please do Ava: talking about you so much has only made my need to be with you even greater James: I can absolutely relate & admit to having had the same urge all day Ava: Oh good Ava: we're on the same page James: that said, a necessary note in the margin would be that in actual fact I've felt that way much longer, because whatever I'm talking about, I'm thinking about you Ava: Sometimes I think I think about you too much Ava: but then I remember I'm the protagonist in this romance so it's not just acceptable but necessary James: you can do whatever you like, darling, it's your story Ava: In that case Ava: read on James: voraciously Ava: 🤤🤤 James James: I'm just making sure we're still on the same page Ava: You're gonna have trouble keeping me on the page Ava: and making me go home James: & the driver's eyes on the road, we may need more than the Twilight soundtrack on this occasion Ava: Pride & Prejudice 2005? Ava: gotcha, honey James: 😂 James: yes, exactly Ava: 😊 Ava: I love you so much James: I miss you so much James: if I could take you home with me, I very happily would Ava: I know Ava: one day James: after the move to the other side of the river, because we both know there is a line Ava: It's pretty exciting, isn't it? James: I'm glad to hear you think so because I was going to ask you if you'd like to come house hunting with me Ava: I'd love to! James: [a possible date soonish] ? Ava: That should be good for me Ava: I'll let you know if otherwise Ava: it'll be nice to look at some actual decent places, let's face it, I doubt my student digs will be all that inspiring, like 😏 James: barely room for whatever hazing pranks they have in store, I'm sure Ava: I'm still not convinced that particular visual doesn't just come from a certain type of movie, babe James: you'll have to let me know 😏 Ava: I'll make it good for you James: my faith in you remains unwavering Ava: 🙇 James: have you reconsidered your stance on spoilers? Ava: That does depend James: oh? Ava: have you dumped fake girl? James: she was very slow to accept her fate, but yes Ava: I can't blame her Ava: I wouldn't wanna lose you either Ava: [picture, assumedly in her friend's room or somewhere not just in front of them like oh hey] James: Ava Ava: Make traffic move faster please James: I'll do the quickest rewrite possible & see you at your friend's door Ava: I'll be waiting so patiently James: & I'll be waiting impatiently James: 😇 & 😈 Ava: I think you deserve to be 😈 right now Ava: been a long day, yeah? James: yes, though it feels longer now, stretching out with the queued traffic Ava: 🥺 Ava: we'll just have to see it as motivation to not waste a single second James: it's a promise, in or out of traffic Ava: I'm so lucky James: if you think you are, then I need a better word to describe my own fortune right now Ava: I'm just really happy Ava: in spite of anything else, everything else, right now James: good, me too Ava: 🥰 Ava: you deserve that even more James: you deserve more than I can possibly give you, however patiently you wait Ava: nuuh James: yes you do Ava: 😣 Ava: no Ava: and I want you James: I want you, I'm well aware that it doesn't mean I deserve to have you Ava: How could you possibly not James: because James: the reasons I lack words to describe you aren't even close to the reasons I lack them to describe myself Ava: but I can't describe you either Ava: not just because I'm no writer James: but you do, all the time, in both words & actions I can vividly see myself the way you think of me Ava: I'm glad Ava: keep looking, okay Ava: we'll work on the believing bit James: okay James: if you'd like to get in the car, we can start immediately

[irepookie]

Infinity

Summary: QUEEN AU where Roger (akaRow) is a teen single dad and aspiring rock star

Warnings: fluff fluff fluff and some cursing.

Words: 2090

I changed the names Cause I feel more comfortable writing it that way (idk why) but I could re-change them if that'd help you getting more into the story.

Rowan Queen: (tho you can imagine Ben as well. This is my take)

Chapter 1: I'm here

Written from his mother's POV, which gives us some insight on the family background and history as the first day of the rest of their lives unravels.

Gina Marie Queen (neé Thomas) had always been ahead of her time. She was never a fearful woman. Not for men anyway. She hadn't had a father -that alcoholic piece of shit was nothing close to that.-

And for all she knew, she hadn't had a husband either -another waste of space-. She had finally kicked him out hers and her son's life after 10 years of hell when that drunk asshole's rehearsal fits had made her lose the daughter she had been longing for since she could remember.

He could throw plates at her, and she'd fight back burning his beloved match tapes. Or intoxicate his food. Those were her favorite paybacks.

He could verbally abuse their son, and wake up with pink hair the next day. (Rowan's idea when he was 10)

But the night he had pushed her and she had broken waters at month number 5, that was it.

It should have ended earlier, she knew. Her unborn daughter shouldn't have had to suffer the consequences for Gina to finally throw his shit out the window and soak them in the Jack Daniels bottle he hid under his side of the bed and light them with the lighter he'd switch his bloody cigars.

But unfortunately that's what it had taken.

And she would have strangled him in his sleep if she had known Rowan would be taken care of while in jail. But she wasn't. And someone had to think of the rebellious trouble maker too.

And when her son -yes, she decided that rebellious trouble maker was, more or less, worthy of the title despite being the spitting image of the his father- became a father, Gina feared her granddaughter would have the same fate. Row had it in his genes and , as much she had tried to raise him as best as she was capable of, that fear never faded.

So when the phone rang

"Rowan Queen?"

""I'm his mother"

"I'm from the Hospital's maternity aisle. We call to inform you that his daughter's mom has disappeared after giving birth..."

That was all she needed to hear before dropping the phone and leaving it hanging upside down

"ROWAN EUGENE QUEEN! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"I've got rehearsals with the band..."

"YOU GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT, YOU IDIOT??!"

"Me? No!"

"WELL THINK AGAIN!"

"Mum..."

"Just got a call from hospital saying your daughter's mother has disappeared after birth!!! And they called us!"

He was high school's infamous Playboy. Blonde, Blue Big eyes, and a charming smile. And on top of that, one of the four members of a wannabe rock band. The Hot Drummer, they call him .Gina knew. She didn't need to hear about his reputation to know the likelihood of him getting someone pregnant was high. But she had pictured it differently.

She grabbed him by the wrist and pulled, but he didn't move. He kept staring at nowhere.

"Rowan!!!"

No reaction.

She had to slap his cheek in order to get him out his shock

"What do you want?!"

"We're going to hospital, right now"

"What? Why?"

"To work this shit out!!"

"But we have to rehearse"

"Fuck that shit Rowan! They've just told us you got someone pregnant and she run off! That's the most important thing right now so get in that this instance!!"

He did as told. It was a tense car ride. And Gina remembered Elsa. Her baby girl. And how for her father's fault she wasn't there.

"So what now?" Row asked

"We're putting her up for adoption, unless they can contact the mother, although I don't think she should have a say. But if you're the so called father and your name is in the file, we can leave your part signed and then go home."

"Oh"

Gina thought she caught a hint of disappointment in his voice.

It had to be her imagination. Disappointment over what? Missing the wonderful experience of being a teen dad? Ha.

He did look thoughtful. He hadn't even turned on the radio.

Something was off.

But she figured he'd just want to get this whole thing over with, and that he'd sign her over to a better family. As anyone with minimum common sense would

Right?

Then, as they waited for the application, he asked if he could see her.

Her answer was immediate "No"

"Why?"

"How come Why? Why on Earth would you want to see her?"

"Well I'm here. You've been freaking out , and freaking me out as well. Might as well see who this fuss is about"

"A baby. That's it. You don't need to see one. They all look the same. Small, Wrinkly, like a large prune. There you have it"

"Well I wanna see my... That small wrinkled prune"

Damn. He had said <<mine>>. He already considered her his.

Gina changed her strategy.

"Your name is on the certificate, right. But that means nothing"

"Why would it be there otherwise?""

"A mistake. Or maybe the mother just wants to tangle you up."

"The mother's gone"

"Yes. For now. It's called Baby Blues, and when it's gone She'll have you exactly where she wants to. Because I'm guessing she won't be no straight A student either, and you'll have to sustain them both -if you ever make it to college- and you'll end up getting married, and maybe you don't even love her, but divorce is even more tedious than getting married. That's why I've Never done it. So you'll both be stuck as cashiers in whatever low cost store, and then she'll confess that you were her high school crush but that the kid is actually her ex boyfriend's and then you'll throw a fit, and you'll get in a fight and you'll end up grabbing whatever is on your reach to hit whoever's on your reach...."

"Wait mom. I just... I just wanna see her." Row cut her off " Whoever the fuck she may actually be, I'm the one who's here. And I ain't signing anything without knowing who I'm making decisions for. That's all. I just want to see. I don't even want to touch her or whatever. Just knowing who's the reason I had to turn the boys down today. Then I'll sign the paper and we'll go home."

"She's in the NICU anyway. Doubt they'll let you in"

"What's NICU?" Gina caught genuine concern in his voice.

"Nothing bad." She reassured.

They handed the files, and she took them "I'll fill them"

She got through the first page, and he was gone.

Shit. That stubborn bastard.

She didn't want him to be a father. He was 19 for fucks shake. Had never had one of his own. He had only moved out a couple months ago. Nothing lasted much for him. Wether it was a girlfriend, a job, clothes... His longest pet had reached one year alive. And he couldn't go long without getting injured

Not even his drum kit had survived the move, and was litterally patched up. She'd consider herself guilty of murder if she allowed a baby to be on that list. Not to mention the alternative was that she'd be the one, sooner or later, to take over. Because he was never patient and would stress too much -if he didn't lose interest first- or get fed up and cause her shaken Baby syndrome. And just as she was too young to be a grandmother, she was too old to raise a second kid.

So she stormed inside the NICU aisle ready to get him out of there. And what she saw was quite breathtaking. The look in his eyes was priceless: such fondness and marvel... Only comparable to when he had first seen that red Ludwig drum set through the glass of the local music store.

"I've never seen something so awesome in my life!" He had said.

They had never been able to afford it. He had tried to get a job after school, to save up everything. But it hadn't been enough. And he'd go everyday to that street, and just stare at the shiny wonderful kit for hours, hands on the glass, knowing that the likelihood of ever owning it was almost non existent.

He ended up making acquaintance with the owner. They tried to bargain for it, but his lowest price was way too high for them. He did get to play it once tho, and it was an undescribable experience. Murray, the owner, let him give it a try out of pity when someone else bought it, as a farewell. And had never seen anything like it again.

Now this baby was, technically, his -regardless of what biology could say- and he was about to give it away.

Gina did know on first hand it was, having been a volunteer on midwife assistance with her aunt. And 10/10 woman who swore to never want anything to do with their child changed their minds as soon as they laid eyes on them. Only those who really followed through -take it away, I don't wanna see it- walked out there with empty arms.

Now Row was looking at that baby ad if she was a treasure, but that meant nothing in the long term. His father had done something similar to Elsa's sonogram.

Her poor little girl. So young.

So helpless. She had been so naive thinking he would ever change.

But she wasn't gonna make that mistake again. She loved her son, but he really wasn't good at anger management.

She couldn't expose another innocent child to such danger.

"Rowan, come here now. You've seen her. Got what you wanted. Met her. Now let's get this over with"

His hand was resting on the top of the incubators glass, even if he had unglued his eyes from the tiny being inside and nailed on her now, as if he had been staring at the sun for a long while and was now blinded.

"Why the hurry?"

Was she hearing correctly?

"How come Why the hurry? Because we both have things to do"

"I've already cancelled the one plan I had..."

"Well I still have an errand to get done."

He didn't reply, eyes back on the child

"Rowan" she approached him, making sure not to look at the kid. "Rowan Eugene Queen, look at me when I'm talking to you" she ordered in a strict tone

"What?"

"Papers. Signature. Now"

"I'm thinking about it"

"Thinking about...?! Thinking about what? What's there to think? Sign these and we'll go home, and we'll never have to look back at this! Nobody has to know."

"And what about the raisin?"

"The what?"

"Her. What about her?"

"She'll be fine. Adopting couples love newborns. She'll go to a fit, nice marriage and will be very happy. And we'll resume our lives"

"And I'll never see her again?"

"Why do you care?"

He just shrugged and turned his attention back to her. Gina watched him watch her. Goddamn. She was losing him.

"Are you the father?" A nurse asked, walking towards.

*Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it*

Gina prayed.

"I suppose I am" He said it so naturally, with such a bright genuine smile that Gina almost forgot how critical those words were.

"Well, I'm Callie, and I'm on charge tonight. Congratulations, Mr... Oh, Queen." Her eyes widened When reading the tag on the incubator. "We're glad at least someone's here"

"Yea, well..." He scratched the back of his head nervously

"Don't worry. Her mom will get over it." She turned to Gina "You must be Gran..."

"No I'm not" Gina snapped harshly before she could finish the sentence "We were leaving"

"We were not"

"Rowan, I will not repeat it. Sign those bloody papers and get your ass back in the car"

"What if I don't want to?"

"This is serious! There's no other way!"

"Yes there is!"

"You can't be serious!" What 19 year old would ever choose this?

"Well I am"

"You don't even know what serious means! You have no sense of responsibility! You've never finished anything you've ever started!"

"Maybe I want to change! Maybe I can grow up if you stop pestering the shit outta me day In day out! This is not your decision!"

"I'm not letting you do this Row!"

"Then go! Leave me the fuck alone and stop getting in my way!"

Before Gina could answer, a small cry came from the incubator.

And she found herself walking backwards.

It was right she couldn't stop him but she wasn't gonna take part on it.

So she turned around and left, as the nurse explained Row how to hold his newborn daughter.

"You're not gonna break her, I promise. You'll do fine. Because you're here. Just because you're here I know you're gonna be a great dad. You already are" Callie said, putting his trembling arms on the correct position before lifting the small white bundle out the incubator.

They usually didn't do it unless it was necessary for a feed or a change, but she thought this was even more important: they had to meet each other properly: The little one needed to hold on to someone after being abandoned. And there was something in the young boy's eyes that told her he needed just the same.

So with a reassuring smile Callie placed her on Rowan's arms, who brought her closer to his chest by instinct, a small smile already on his lips as he took in her features.

She was gorgeous. And he didn't know why, but he found her to be the most perfect thing he had ever seen. He instantly knew he was gonna protect that wrinkled prune at all costs.

"Hey there, lil'raisin. I'm..." He swallowed the lump in his throat "I'm your Dad and... I'm here now."

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Hope you guys liked it

It's my first fic on Tumblr so I still don't have the formatting completely handled and my phone won't let me select all the paragraphs at once to put it all in regular font.

Let me know what you think. Thank you all!!😍😍😍😍

~Pookie

[intheemyart]

A Marriage Proposal

Who would have thought that life brought so many emotions into one? That life brought so many unexpected events with new possibilities lies within? That sometimes, the most unexpected is something you've expected to be for a long time?

Through the ups and downs of life, there are reasons behind several things. One might say, the secrets will unravel itself and a new start will always be there. Choices will be unlocked, then it's up to us either to take it or leave it.

And for this matter, this matter regarding love, no one was able to handle it. It's inevitable for those who still care about their emotions. Thus, how will this love story end for George Alexander Holskey?

September 6, 2021 George A. Holskey's Penthouse, Sentosa Island.

Last night's event of his new company's opening celebration was a blast! Colleagues and friends attended the party, and again, George felt grateful for their presence and constant support.

Between the guest lists, the famous art conservator was there. Frederica was also invited by him as a close friend and as one of the shareholders in the company. For the man, her presence made the party more alive. He never wanted to celebrate it with this kind of party, but the only reason for him to celebrate it with Frederica was with this— a gathering with the core members and their closest friends involved in the project.

His penthouse here became a hotel for ten other people. Though it was only for a night and George was behind the idea, the real reason was actually to make Frederica stay to do his plan. His plan that he kept in silence for years. The plan was nearly failed when Frederica decided to go back home last night as she worried about the twins. He knew how the twins meant for her, but he really wanted to make sure this one, at least it was only between both of them.

Thankfully, the storm came, and she finally decided to have a sleepover in his huge penthouse. Just for a night, as it seems to be impossible for her to drive safely. Also, not wanting her driver to risk his safety too.

The first to wake up was the woman, Frederica. She walked out from a room on the second floor, side by side with George's. Planned by him so they wouldn't need to meet other guests who slept in the bedroom on the first floor. Frederica rubbed her eyes and closed the door as she walked towards the family area, looking for a drink as she felt thirsty and something interesting to read on his bookshelf. George told her that she's allowed to take any book she liked last night.

Although Frederica was just awake, she looked stunning on her bare face. Dressed simply in her oversized T-shirt and long leggings. Her eyes scanned through the cover of the books, deciding on which she should take out to read.

“Did you sleep well?”

A manly voice was heard— and as a result, she turned her head towards the man who greeted her with a question early in the morning.

“Good morning, George.” “Good morning, Fre.”

They both smiled at each other, realizing that they as what they had thought before. “I sleep well. The room is very comfortable, and I enjoy my rest. I hope you were having a great sleep too last night?”

She amicably smiled at him, showing her teeth between her lips that curved and made his heart beats faster than before. “I did. I feel fresh as I woke up,” he answered. “Do you find any interesting books on the shelf?”

Frederica shook her head swiftly. “Not yet, I just stood here, and it hasn’t been too long, so I’m still skimming through the titles and the authors, also the design that might catch my attention,” she answered. Even by hearing her soft voice, his heart couldn’t beat normally. Its pace has grown faster each time she smiled and looked at him. The magic of love that Frederica has been doing for years struck him, and perhaps today— it will be the climax to the uncertainty.

“Fre?” “Yes?”

She gave him all the attention he asked by just calling her name. Now here eyes were on him and no longer to the books on the shelf. “I want to give you something. Please wait here, okay?” The mother of two nodded. And by that, he rushed himself towards his room, steps away from where he was standing before. He quickly opened his nightstand drawer and took out a small box made of leather.

It’s that time already. At that moment he has been asking for God’s blessing and help so it would be okay. That wouldn’t be disappointing. He knew how hard Frederica has been towards those people out there like him. But he wanted her to know how he really feels after all these times. After those years of mistreatment and keeping herself in silence. For not being noticed by her seriously.

It was now or never and George could only wish that she would accept him instead of rejecting him just like what she did to him and even Alverstoke multiple times in the past. Indeed, it was painful, but every decision she made was to protect herself. He knew that Frederica has her own goals, life plans, feelings, and even traumas. But above all of that, George wanted to be that one person who could heal her grief and fears. He wanted to be that sole man who would protect her from anyone else, including Alverstoke.

George took a deep breath as he walked out of his room towards the woman he adores the most in his life after his mother. She was seen standing in her stance, looking pretty effortlessly.

“What is it?”

Frederica asked curiously, trying to take a peek at what he hid behind his body. He chuckled as he saw how cute the woman was right now. George then showed her the leather box and opened it slowly in front of his eyes.

A diamond ring was seen—sparkling as the light reflected on its surface. Frederica’s smile faded as she looked at him in surprise in the eyes. She was asking for his explanation through her gaze. George couldn’t even let go of his visions from her.

ㅤㅤ “Marry me, Fre?”

George asked her after collecting all of his wit. His eyes told her everything; his wishes for her and him asking her to accept this proposal. To accept his love that he has been holding back for too long. Tears could be seen in her eyes, welling up. Just with a blink, it fell on her rosy cheeks. She bit her lower lips because she’s hesitant of what to say, just like what she did to Alverstoke in the past four times.

ㅤㅤ “I want you to be my wife.”

Frederica shook her head. “George, I’m not even a widow yet. Not even a divorcee. I’m technically still married to Alverstoke, your own best friend. And… this is too fast, I can’t just get married to you right after my divorce is finalized.”

George stepped forward as she pulled her into a warm embrace. He kissed her crown and pat her back gently. “I don’t want you to marry me right after divorce. I want you to marry me, but when the time is right. I also want you to take your time as you heal yourself.”

The man older than her for two or three years hugged her tighter. He whispered in her left ear, “I want to be the man who helps you through those hard times. I want to heal your scars. I want to be your partner, your husband, your lifetime companion—”

George then smiled at her and cupped her small face with both of his hands. “Fre, I want to be the father to your twins. Sera and Hazen are one of the reasons why I want to marry you. I love them just like how I love you. As much as I love you. I want to be a part of your journey. Of their journey.” He confessed his truest feelings. Never once did he though he would say those words from his lips directly towards Frederica, the woman whom he loved for years already.

ㅤㅤ “Fre, will you be my wife in the ㅤㅤ future? Will you be my one ㅤㅤ companion?”

He asked her again.

ㅤㅤ “I’ve lose you in the past to Alverstoke, ㅤㅤ I don’t want to lose you again.”

She’s in doubt of so many things. "You can end this in the future if you feel like it’s not okay for you. That’s okay, I understand. But please, let me try to be that person for you. I want to protect you and the twins at all costs. I want to protect the three of you as a part of my family. Fre, I want you to be okay again. I want to see the light in your eyes, the smile on your face, the cheerful tone of yours, the softness of your touch, the sweet words from your lips…” George gulped. He cried again and again in front of the woman.

Surely, it was only two of them on the second floor, or else, everyone might be awake already with this soap opera— airing right in front of their eyes, being watched by the other guests.

“Give me the chance to make you feel happier than ever than you’ve ever been with Alverstoke. Give me the chance, to love you properly. That day when I saw you at the Fukuoka City Museum, my heart throbbed uncontrollably. You made me fly to heaven. You don’t need to worry about my friendship with him. From that day when I took you away after he abused you during your pregnancy, back in Seoul, it has been broken anyway. From that day— no, it’s before. When he confessed to me he cheated on you back in the museum, when you fell unconscious, it fell apart already. All I care and all I want to protect is no one else but you, Frederica Esther Biancardi.”

George confessed, again and again, those things he couldn’t say directly to her for the past years. Indeed, it’s true that George has been keeping his feelings secret all this time and Frederica knew about it. She realized it long before he confessed his feelings from his gestures, even before she met Alverstoke.

Frederica looked down as she couldn’t even see him into his eyes directly. Holding her tears that actually have been falling more and more as minutes passed. “I’m not as good as you think. I slept with another man too after he abused me—”

A sin.

A sin she confessed for the first time to someone else. The infidelity she committed behind Alverstoke too. But instead of being disappointed nor shocked, George smiled. “Because you seek happiness. You seek love that you don’t receive. Because you wanted the warmth— you needed it. No—, you deserve it.”

George wiped her tears carefully as if he’s scared to break her apart for even touching her lightly. She looked fragile. “I’m not going to say or consider that as a part of cheating. No, not at all. It’s a part of you moving on from the past. It’s all in the past too. I want to walk the roads of the present and future together with you and the twins.”

George knelt down as he looked up at her. He took a deep breath and again, asked her the same question.

ㅤㅤ “Frederica Esther Biancardi, ㅤㅤ will you be my wife?”

Frederica, again, was still hesitant about what she should do. “I wanna take things slowly, George. I’ve told you that after the divorce, things will be much harder for me. To rebuild the trust and to—”

ㅤㅤ “That’s okay. I understand. ㅤㅤ I’ll be there too.”

She bit her lower lips and extended her hand to him. It wasn’t easy, especially for Fre. She felt something is still missing, deep down there.

ㅤㅤ “I’ll give a thought about it first, ㅤㅤ okay? I’m too scared to walk ㅤㅤ into the same hole again.”

George nodded. He nodded because he understood what happened to the woman that she decided to do this. It wasn’t easy, he knew it. At least, he had his chance to keep her safe and protect her. “How about… let’s take things slowly? I might return the ring one day…”

“That’s okay. As long as I got my chance and opportunity to keep you safe and to let you feel loved like you’re supposed to be.” George smiled at her. “You can return it whenever you want. In an hour, tomorrow, later— that’s okay.”

His hands shaking from the feeling of nervousness. Slowly sliding the ring to her finger as he kissed the back of her hand. He came to ask for his chance— and today, he finally received it. Though it may not last forever, at least she gave him a chance.

The man slowly rose up from his position and hugged her tightly. He landed some kisses on her crown and one on her forehead.

ㅤㅤ “I’m in love with you.”

He whispered softly, again confessing his love towards the woman. The woman who gave him a chance to love her.

End of A Marriage Proposal.

[shudderspeed-f8-blog]

This is me. Yes I was mostly naked and I am old but I don't want to be a younger girl now that I am not. You know how much young girls to tear each other down when you could be building each other up? I didn't realize it until I was older but I was a pretty girl much prettier than in this picture and I was being thrown into a competition I never signed up for and it was vicious!

Now I am old enough to be your mother- a lot of mothers my age talk about their kids using Tumblr And I'm in a photo group page whenever that has a Tumblr thing Link extension that well I figured I'd add one and so I'm doing that. Didn't know which picture to post first and this one is not in that group however I'm putting it here since it's not like you can see anything "naked naked ".

Now that was several years and several pounds ago-not that I'd be embarrassed really at what I look like now because I'm human and it's not like I've given up on myself. I have this tumor on my pituitary gland and no health insurance and it's wreaked havoc on my whole endocrine system including my weight which is usually around 125 pounds. I mean I normally wear a size 7 dress and I didn't need to wear a bra I was a small B cup but in the last 2 years my system just turned on me no matter how healthy I eat or how much I could move even though I started getting exhausted. Even with a little movement I kept gaining weight and I was like what the f**** Happening to my body?

My voice got lower suddenly I had boobs like giant boobs And it's deep voice giant boobs I was starting to wonder if I was turning into some kind of hermaphrodite but I'm not now it's all the stupid shit of arguments with medicaid and all this other crap just to see if I qualify for radiation and if it's operable because it's growing ... And of course I'd love to be a size 7 again but I would not like to be 21 again I would not like to be 16 again I would even wanna be 35 again.

I see these younger girls and theyll fight over anything and other girls will turn their friends against each other just to see what happens, just to knock out the competition and it sucks because if it's about a man it's really not worth it-there's so many of them and most of them are not that special .

I have a couple friends I've had since childhood in high school one of them since we were 14 and another since we were 13. I lost a friendship that I had for 30 years since we were 7 and 8 and that might as well have been over a man because it was over a woman I introduced her to-her future wife who was my college best friend and it turns out I didn't know her very well. And all I can hope is one day my original friend w see that I wasn't the person her current wife drew me out to be: I am the same person she met the summer there was first a woman in the presidential election (even though she was running mate with a man for vice president and even though she didn't win) and most of the people who might read this were far from being born.

Now even girls in their twenties look at me as a mother figure and I'm OK with that I want them to know I'm not the competition and I advise them no man is worth your best friend falling out with you 'sisters before misters" that's our "bro code" and look at the way that guys say it: they call it "Bros before hoes" and we're not "hoes" which is why women should stick together because it feels safer to be able to laugh when you're almost 44 with somebody you've known since summer camp and have a million nicknames for your ex boyfriends that you went cried your hearts out to each other over when they seemed so important at 15 20 25 for God's sake my pisces friend from summer camp is now an incredible artist who travels the world and we had a fight that lasted 10 years now I understand it as an adult but I sure ship didn't when I was 21. She was in my wedding and she laughed 21 years later and I laughed with her when I told her I wore my wedding dress to my divorce and I did see most I ever paid for one dress might as well get more than 1 where out of it and it fit me better the 2nd time this time I had boobs still anyways This is my Tumblr and it's probably going to be full of pictures of cats , Astrology posts and the man I live with. Good luck and hope you have a better day than you have so far.

- the aperture