#she's the passion and love; the fight and never-ending struggle for life incarnate

[tawakkull]

ISLAM 101: Spirituality in Islam: Part 39

Mahabba (LOVE)

Mahabba means fondness, tender and kind feelings, inclination, and love. Love that affects and invades one’s feelings is called passion; love that is so deep and irresistible that it burns for union [1] is called fervor and enthusiasm. Sufis have defined love as the relation of the heart with the Truly Beloved One, the irresistible desire felt for Him, the struggle to comply with His desires or commandments in all acts and thoughts, and the state of being enraptured and intoxicated without “sobriety” until the time of union or reunion. These definitions can be summed up as “standing” in the Presence of God, as being freed from all transient relationships and worries. True love means that a lover is set wholly on the Beloved, is always and inwardly with Him, and always has no other desire and wish. The heart of a person who has such a degree of love always beats with a new consideration for the Beloved at every moment. His or her imagination always travels in His mysterious climate, his or her feelings receive new messages from Him at every moment, his or her will takes wings with these messages, and he or she passionately desires to meet Him.

While a lover who transcends his or her self with the wings of love and reaches the Lord at the points of passion and enthusiasm, and in such a condition carries out his or her responsibilities toward the King of his or her heart, that same heart is set on His vision. Such a believer’s nature is “burned” with the light of Divine Grandeur, and lost in wonder and amazement. With the cup of love on one’s lips, while the veils of the Unseen are lifted one after the other, he or she becomes intoxicated with studying the meanings coming in rays from behind those veils, and is enraptured with the pleasure of watching the scenes behind them. One’s walking and stopping occur at the command of God, speech is no more than the inspirations coming from Him, and silence, when observed, is done in His name. At various times he or she journeys toward Him in “His company” or is occupied with communicating His message to others.

Some have defined love, in the context of God’s love of His distinguished servants, as doing good, and as obedience, devotion, and unconditional submission in the context of a servant’s love of God. The following couplets of the female Sufi saint Rabi'a al-‘Adawiya are significant in expressing this meaning:

You talk about loving God while you disobey Him; I swear by my life that this is something very strange. If you were truthful in your love, you would obey Him, For a lover obeys whom he loves.

Love is based on two important pillars: that which is manifested by the lover’s acts (a lover tries to comply with the Beloved’s desires), and the lover’s inner world (a lover should inwardly be closed to anything not related to Him). True men and women of God mean this when they talk about love. According to them, emotional concern with or love of any kind of pleasure, including spiritual ones or interest, cannot be called “love” in its true sense. It can only be figurative love.

Every lover cannot feel the same degree of love for the Beloved, for love varies according to the lover’s spiritual and emotional depth, the degree of consciousness of and care in obedience to the Beloved. For example, the love felt by those beginning the way is not established and constant. They dream of acquiring the rank of perfect goodness and, at times, receive signs of the Knowledge of God, thrill at the twinkle of the “light” appearing on their horizon, and vaguely feel amazement and wonder.

On the other hand, those who have made much progress fly in the heaven of love toward the highest point. They live in the bright climate of the Qur'an as embodiments and examples of the good morals of the Prophet Muhammad, upon him be peace and blessings. While trying to represent his good morals, they expect no material or spiritual reward and demand no pleasure. Even at the summit of this holy representation, like fruit-bearing trees whose branches bend with the weight of their fruit, they lower their wings of humility and always mention the Beloved. If they are shaken with a fault or error, they severely criticize and fight with their selves.

And finally, those most advanced in the love of God are like rain clouds in the “heaven” of Islam. They feel existence by Him, live with Him, and see and breathe by Him. In a never-ending cycle, they are filled with pangs of separation (from Him) and desire to meet Him; when relieved or emptied, they mount on a beam of light and descend to Earth to embrace the whole of existence.

One who turns to Him with heartfelt desire and sincere enthusiasm, regardless of the degree of love, receives a reward according to the depth of feeling and concern for Him. The first group of people mentioned above receive special favor and mercy. The second group of people reach the horizon of per-ceiving the Attributes of Grace and Majesty and are freed from defects of character. Those of the third group are illumined by the light of His Being, awakened to the reality of things, and are in touch with the dimension of existence behind veils. That is, the Almighty manifests the light of His Grandeur to burn up the corporeal attributes of those whom He loves and elevates them to the realm of Divine Attributes, such as the All-Seeing and All-Hearing. He awakens them fully to the fact that they are poor and helpless before Him, and fills their hearts with the light of His existence.

One whose love has reached this degree, and who is rewarded with so much Divine favor, attains an eternal life beyond existence or non-existence. Like a bar of iron put into fire and thus appearing as a bar of fire, such a lover may be unable to distinguish the Divine Being and His manifestations, and therefore express feelings and experiences in terms associated with such false beliefs as incarnation and union (with God). In such circumstances, one must consider the Sunna’s established criteria.

The expressions uttered by profoundly spiritual individuals lost in love of God and intoxicated with love cannot be used as criteria by which to judge them. Otherwise, we may feel enmity toward such friends of God, who are favored with His continuous company according to the Prophetic Tradition: A man is with him whom he loves, [2] and, as declared in the hadith qudsi: Whoever becomes an enemy of My friends has waged war on Me. [3]

[1] “Union” in Sufi terminology, should not be confused with communion with or participation in the Divine Being, as in some philosophies or mistaken Gnostic traditions. The fundamental relation between God and humanity, regardless of whether that person is the greatest of humanity, namely, the Prophet Muhammad, upon him be peace and blessings, is the relation of the Creator to the created. In the Sufi context, union means coming together again after parting. The world is the realm of separation for humanity, and all men and women burn inwardly with the desire to return to their true home. This return will be realized when the person dies, for that is the beginning of his or her passage into the other world. Although a Sufi finds God in his or her heart while in this world, true re-union will only take place in the Hereafter in Paradise. [2] Al-Tirmidhi, “Zuhd,” 50. [3] Al-Bukhari, “Riqaq,” 38.

[moon-in-daylight]

Jealousy / Dhawan!Master x reader

Summary: When Missy died, you thought it would be a good idea to travel with The Doctor to keep yourself busy and your thoughts away from the one you had lost. Now that you encounter The Master’s new incarnation, you have a decision to make, and The Master a few questions for you.

Words: 3116

Warnings: Jealousy, teasing, dirty talk? (Nothing too graphic. In fact, it’s not really dirty, let’s say suggestive instead)

A/N: So I’ve been out of inspiration for a week or two but I finally got myself to write something. I’ve not edited this so probably it has some mistakes, sorry for that.

The moment you saw the humanoid-shaped aliens hover over The Master, you quickly took a step forward and tried to grab his hand. You knew it was a stupid thing to do, considering that he was probably mad at you for helping The Doctor and blowing his plan of destroying humanity. You were fighting on opposite sides now, but that would never stop you from try and helping him if needed it. Yet, deep down you knew your little act of bravery was useless. It was obvious that you couldn’t prevent the Kasaavin from taking him, and by touching him you would only be giving the light-made aliens the chance of trapping you in their parallel universe as well, putting you in unnecessary and senseless danger. Not that you really thought or care about your well-being in that moment. You weren’t thinking rationally as you extended your arm towards him, as you tried to make sure he knew you were still by his side. Truth was, you hadn’t been thinking straight at all that day. Not since you had discovered O’s true identity.

All that mattered to you in that precise second was to help The Master, even if it was only by grabbing his hand and showing him your support and affection. After all the time you had been apart, and just by seeing the painful look in his eyes after being stuck on Earth for 77 years, it was clear that he needed it more than ever. It was painful to think about all the time he had spent alone, to think about all those nights that you had spent mourning him while he still was alive. Now that he was in front of you, you weren’t planning on letting him go again.

But before your fingers could reach his, you felt yourself being pushed back by a sudden grip on your wrist. After watching the Time Lord disappear in front of you with a blinding flash of white light, you turned to The Doctor, whose hand held you tight in place.

“Let me go!” You struggled to let yourself free, willing to throw yourself to the Kasaavin in hopes of getting reunited with The Master. Chances were you wouldn't even end up in the same place he was sent to, but you were willing to take that and any other risk now that you had the chance of getting him back.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” The astonished voice of Yaz called your name.

None of the other companions knew the history between you and The Master. You had never trusted any of them enough to tell them your backstory, and since Missy had died long ago, you had never thought it would be necessary for them to know any of it. After O’s reveal in the plane, you supposed it would have been the time to mention something to them, but after giving it a little thought, you finally decided it was best for them not to know about your feelings for him. The last thing you wanted was to create an uncomfortable ambient between you and the rest of the group because of your little ‘conflict of interests’.

None of that mattered the slightest now. You had the chance of going back to him and you no longer cared about what they thought of the fact that you were in love with The Doctor’s best enemy.

“How could you?!” You ignored everyone else in the room as you looked at The Doctor in the eye, your features showing nothing but hatred and frustration. “You told me Missy died!”

“I did believe she was dead.” She assured you under the confused looks of the rest. You gave her a suspicious look, not being sure if you could trust her anymore. “Y/N, I would have never told you that if I hadn’t believed it was true.”

You felt tears forming in your eyes as you remembered how The Doctor’s past regeneration had brought you the news that had shattered your entire life. You hadn’t been with Missy more than a few months, not as much as you would have liked to, anyway. It had been a short but intense time, traveling in her TARDIS and assisting her in any other mischief she planned.

Chaotic, fun and passionate… But ephemeral. That’s what your relationship had been like, what you still hoped you could get back.

You had spent more time apart than together now, but you remembered how special the bond between the two of you were. How it had taken so little time and effort to make her a very important part of your life, if not the most.

When she was taken away from you, you felt like a part of you had died with her too.

You felt deeply lost, trying to picture what the rest of your life was going to be without her. You supposed you had no option but resign yourself to go back to Earth, grieve her and then try and keep on with your life. You weren’t sure you could get over her, especially on your own, but then the past incarnation of The Doctor offered you a place in his TARDIS. It wasn’t ideal, but it was best than staying home crying all day. And, even though you had a rough time adjusting to the companions that came and went and to the way she managed certain situations, you had eventually learned to travel with her. More than that, you were even starting to enjoy it.

You were quite fond of her at this point, but not enough to choose to stay with her if you had the chance to go back with The Master.

“Let me go to him.” You insisted, looking at the aliens that remained in the room. They were disappearing one by one, and with them your only chance of finding him again.

“Y/N…” The Doctor stared at you in disbelief when she understood what you were still planning to do, realizing how desperate you truly were. She had figured when The Master had revealed himself that it would affect you somehow, but not until the point of sacrificing yourself for him. Now, she realized that you were not over Missy at all. “You’re taking a step into the unknown. It’s not safe to-”

“I don’t care about safety!” You quickly cut her off. “I wouldn’t be doing this if you hadn’t let them take him!”

“Y/N, he’s not the person you once knew.” She warned you, repeating your name once again to try and make you see reason. “This incarnation may be previous to Missy. He may not even know you yet… And even if she survived and regenerated into him, it only means he decided to never come back for you. He may not feel the same for you anymore.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you took into consideration The Doctor’s words.

No, he wasn’t previous to Missy. You could tell by how he had looked at you, by the way his eyes had lingered on you more than necessary when introducing yourselves, by his incessant attempts to get closer to you while still being undercover as O. He had been especially interested in you since the first moment, taking any chance he could to go talk to you and showing a particular interest about the nature of your relationship with The Doctor. You had first mistaken those signs as an effort of innocent flirting by the shy agent, but knowing his true identity also exposed his true intentions. He was trying to find out how you had ended up in her oldest enemy’s TARDIS.

He did know you, but then again, The Doctor did have a point when she said he might not feel the same for you anymore. At least, that would explain why he had practically ignored you since his reveal, leaving you to die with the rest on the plane crash. If he still wanted you by his side, he would have rescued you from that situation and taken you with him, wouldn’t he?

Maybe he thought you had betrayed him by travelling with The Doctor, or maybe he just had gotten over you already.

“Nothing changes what I feel for him.” You clarified, finally letting yourself free from her grip. Taking a deep breathe, you organized the ideas running through your mind, focusing only on one particular feeling. “I love him. I always have. I’m going to stay by his side because that’s how I feel and nothing in this universe will make me change my mind. I don’t care if he doesn’t recognize me or if he doesn’t love me back anymore… That doesn’t change anything.”

“Please don’t do anything stupid…” Your friend unsuccessfully attempted to stop you once more. You could see desperation in her eyes as she tried to talk sense into you, to make you stay safely by her side. She meant well, but both of you knew it was useless to try to dissuade you. “He would never do the same for you!”

“I know.” You sighed, giving a final look at The Doctor and her companions. This was your goodbye. “Still don’t care.”

Before The Doctor or any of the others could say anything else, you rushed yourself to one of the few remaining Kasaavin, reaching your hand to the creature and fading away in a white light explosion.

When you opened your eyes again, you found yourself in an unknown, hostile place. It was the Kasaavin’s dimension. Judging by Yaz's reaction of when she had come back from there, you had supposed it wasn't going to be a friendly place, but you had pictured something very different in your head. You had imagined that place to be full of blinding white lights, but it was way colder and darker than you would have figured just by looking at the aliens who resided there.

The first thing you noticed were the wire-like structures that ran sparks of light through them. There were thousands- No, millions of them around. They slightly reminded you of trees, they were all around and each of them looked exactly the same. There was no way of developing any sense of orientation there. It almost felt like you were in the middle of a forest at night, lost and having no idea on where to go.

You had to admit that throwing yourself into an unknown dimension without any plan or guarantee of getting out hadn’t been your brightest idea.

Just when you were beginning to regret your impulsiveness, you heard a frustrated scream and, recognizing the source of the sound, you rushed in the direction where it had come from. You didn’t quite know this regeneration of The Master yet and his voice still sounded a bit unfamiliar, but you recognized his characteristic exasperation of when something didn't come out as planned in his shout. It had to be him. Plus, who else could be trapped there besides you and him?

Luckily, you found The Master standing not far from where you had landed, his back facing you as he didn’t seem to notice your presence. You tried to calm your breathing before getting closer to him, trying to figure out what to say to him. After losing Missy, you never thought you would have this opportunity. Him, standing in front of you in the middle of such a strange place felt like something come out of a daydream. For a second you even considered the possibility that everything was only happening in your sleep, and you feared that you would suddenly wake up alone in your bed or that he would fade away before your eyes.

Before you could find the courage to say something, he turned to you.

“What are you doing here?” His eyes observed you with surprise and curiosity during a few seconds. That confusion turned itself into bitterness with his second question. “Don’t you travel with The Doctor now?”

“Well, you know me-“ You tried to act smooth, but you were sure he could sense the nervousness in your voice. “I can’t help myself when it comes to helping a damsel in distress.”

Seeing him chuckle at your little remark helped calm you down. He definitely was the same person you had fell in love with, only different. You had never understood what that meant when Missy tried to explain you the regeneration process, but seeing The Doctor change had helped you comprehend the concept. And now, looking at this new incarnation of him, you were completely sure that, even though he looked different, nothing had really changed.

“Not a damsel anymore, love.” He pointed out as he stepped closer to you. Well, almost nothing had changed. “Is that of any inconvenience for you?”

“As long as we’re still getting in distress…” You softly shook your head, a smile spreading across your face when you watched his smirk getting wider.

“Oh, we’re going to.” His preying eyes examined your body with amusement, sending a shiver down your spine when you realized how he had perceived your initially innocent comment. “I can assure you that.”

“You’re going to need to catch me up on a few things first.” You did your best to hide your increasing blushing as he got even closer to you, invading your personal space and barely giving you room to breathe. Trying not to get distracted by his proximity, you looked at him in the eye. “The Doctor told me you died.”

The Master sighed and took a step back when you pronounced his childhood’s friend’s name, as if he was repealed by it. It was no secret that he wasn’t her biggest fan, but as he backed away you saw something in his eyes you couldn’t quite decode, something different from his usual hatred.

“I was left to die alone.” He clarified. The resentment in his voice more than obvious as he spoke, and hearing him say those words did nothing but break your heart. Trying to show him that you were there with him, you carefully caressed the side of his face. It was strange to feel the light stubble against your skin, but you kind of liked how it looked on him. Softening under your touch, he let out another sigh, a more relaxed one. “Almost had to regenerate twice. That damn corset.”

“I liked that old thing though. It looked good on you.” You complimented him, trying to lighten up the mood a bit.

“It looked good on you too.” The Master’s eyes left your face to look down at your body, his stare tracing the curves and edges of your body as he remembered the several times you had stolen his clothes and walked around his TARDIS wearing them. That memory brought a sincere smile to his face. “We had some good times, didn’t we?”

“The best of times.” You nodded your head in agreement, a little smile forming on your face as well.

“Oh, but I’m sure you had a great time with The Doctor too…” The Master’s face suddenly got dark, the smirk disappearing from his face as he looked away from you. His harsh tone confused you for a second, trying to understand what was going on inside his mind and the reason behind his sudden change of mood. He surely was an emotional rollercoaster. “You seemed to be having so much fun playing spies with her…”

When you finally interlocked your stare with his you understood why the innuendo on his voice.

He was jealous.

“Did you?” He inquired as he stepped closer to you again, his hot breathing hitting your face. “Did you have fun with her?”

“I only agreed to travel with her because I couldn’t stand being on my own without you.” You tried to justify yourself, feeling your knees weakening under his cold stare.

“That’s not what I am asking.” His voice was rough as his eyes shifted through your face. “You seemed close to her… Did you feel anything for her?”

“Of course not.” You quickly assured, but it didn’t seem to be enough for him. Placing both of his hands on each side of your hips, he pushed you against one of the wires, his weigh pinning you against the alien structure.

“Did you think she could make you forget about me?”

He ran his tongue through his lips, making your body squirm slightly and your breathing unsettle. You shook your head as he got even closer to you.

“Did you think she could make you feel the way I make you feel?”

You shivered as his hands slipped down your shirt and caressed the skin of your lower back. Closing your eyes, you tried to steady your breathing. It had been years since you had felt his touch, the way his fingers slowly explored your body. That simple gesture was all he had to do to have you at his complete and utter mercy. And he knew.

“That she could ever make you this desperate for her?”

“No…” You mumbled under your breathe.

With a proud smile he lent closer to you, his lips gently brushing the skin of your neck as the harsh but pleasant feeling of his stubble against you sent goosebumps all over that area. Stopping himself right next to your ear, he left a soft kiss on your neck before whispering.

“Have you forgotten who your Master is?”

You shook your head again, but he didn’t seem pleased with your answer.

“Say it out loud.”

“Only my Master could make me feel this good.” You muttered as you still felt the tip of his fingers roaming through your body, his breathing against the particularly sensitive skin of your neck. “No one else could.”

You supposed he was satisfied with your answer this time when he took a step back to smash his lips with yours.

He was even more passionate than you remembered, his mouth moving eagerly against yours as his arms wrapped around your waist trying to bring you impossibly closer to him, as if he was afraid of letting you go again. Your whole body trembled as you tried to keep his pace, placing one of your hands on his shoulder for support as the other caressed the side of his face gently.

“Good thing you still know who you belong to.” He smirked as he stepped away from you, your body immediately missing the warmth of his touch. “Now, let’s find a way to get out of here so I can show you just how much I’ve missed you.”

[sweetrupturedlight]

This week on Sen Çal Kapımı

Serkan's inability to articulate his feelings for Eda has him literally man down, while Eda contemplates their kinda, sorta, maybe mutual feelings and her future. Other stuff happens, but come on, with this episode, Edser takes centre stage as the ship sets sail on the high seas.

Before we jump right into it, last week in this post, I bulleted the things all of us expected was coming. 

Let’s take one moment to note the glorious ways in which all of these things unfolded?

Nursing back to health

Pining

Severe angst

Breaking point

Dear writers of this show, we appreciate you. We are truly blessed.

Now, on to this week. The episode picks up where we left off, with Selin giving Serkan 2 days to decide whether she drops Ferit like a hot potato on the eve of their wedding. Let’s be clear, she wants to dump a man she is supposed to marry in two days to resume a logical and clinical relationship? Is Selin even in love with Serkan? It doesn’t seem like he treated her very well – but then again, it seems their relationship had a very logical genesis – no sweeping romantic gestures, no sweet words, no compliments it would seem! etc. So objectively I’m not sure what exactly makes that prospect better than the one with Ferit – who clearly does love and care for her. But I digress. 

Essentially, this is how it plays out:

Selin: “Let me know in max 2 days if you want to be with me, k.”

Serkan: ...

Eda: Simply exists.

Serkan: Stares directly at Selin as he deliberately grasps Eda’s hand and holds on for dear life.

Now, they say actions speak louder than words... so how is Selin still not clear on the fact that Serkan not rushing to end her marriage means he’s not interested???

Anyhoo, Serkan and Eda spend most of the episode circling around the same.

Did you say yes to Selin?

What is your opinion on my situation with Selin?

Would you stay?

I can’t stay because… reasons

If either one of these to love-struck puppies took a second to reflect, they would realise that they actually have the answers already. Eda in fact, does consider for a minute that Serkan might actually have feelings for her. Serkan however, is convinced Eda cannot wait to get out of his life - which makes his bold move at the end of the episode a great moment for his own growth as a character. He was operating on his feelings and taking an emotional risk, having no idea how she actually felt. Yes, he had the note she left, but up until 20 minutes earlier, he was still fighting Engin on the notion that she could genuinely have feelings for him.

Speaking on Engin, writers, I have faith that we will see Engin mercilessly tease Serkan in the next episode about his heart eyes and his newfound familiarity with the language of love. This is likely going to bring great comedic gold. Its also not lost on me that Engin can so easily see the love between Serkan and Eda, but is totally clueless about his own romantic entanglements. To be honest, I’m not invested in this romance, so whomever he ends up with - or doesn’t - is fine by me.

Listen, I’m high key bursting at the fact that Eda and Serkan both already see the other in their bed(s). Them facing “each other” with longing was one of the smaller moments of the episode, but one of my favourites. And because this show is so good at parallels, I’m putting it out there that we will get a scene of them sharing a bed without Serkan needing to turn his back to her, but also without Serkan ruining the mood once daybreak arrives. Eda is a snuggler and she loves to sleep. I’m looking forward to bedroom shenanigans. Also, can Eda (and Engin) find the pictures of them he’s clearly carrying around in his wallet at this point? Please and thank you.

SIDE NOTE: according to Laila, Serkan has a conference in London “next week” which has been reserved for two people. Since I’m going out on a limb and saying Serkan won’t be travelling with Selin, will Eda accompany him to the UK? One can only hope for a honeymoon romantic getaway business trip.

Adore the “don’t leave” parallels that the show has been dropping like golden nuggets for the past few weeks. Serkan has spent multiple episodes in a struggle with himself. If Eda wants to leave, he insists its not his style to ask her to stay. But by episodes end he is so frenzied at the thought of his life without her, he’s ready and willing to say it m u l t i p l e times. We love a glow up.

Things I loved about this episode:

The handhold 5 seconds in & Eda’s impulsive kiss on his cheek.

The super cheesy let’s-randomly-turn-on-the-radio-and-awkwardly-listen-to-the-exact-song-describing-our entire-love-story. The way I was lapping it up with shovel. Also, Başak Gümülcinelioğlu’s (aka the actress playing Piril) song Sen Çal Kapımı is beautiful. All the fanvids, all the time please oh talented vidders.

Serkan’s meltdown at the office the minute he realised she’s about to leave. Hilarious. I truly enjoy seeing him a little off kilter and a lot out of control. Just looking at how his employees have relaxed since he’s been more relaxed - due to Eda’s influence - is a great subtle storytelling mechanism as well.

Immensely enjoyed Nurse Eda - especially her traditional approach to checking temperatures. LOL. Just a comment that despite Eda believing Serkan and Selin are most likely a thing, she refuses to leave his side in deference to Selin. I totally loved seeing her stake her claim. And judging by the never-you-mind, irritated way with which Serkan basically told Selin to move along, Serkan doesn’t want people around when he’s sick - but he certainly wants Eda.

Serkan going from unable to communicate to “you’re constantly in my head, in my every thought! You’ve taken over my brain! You’ve taken over my entire life!” #FlingsSelfIntoTheSun

THE KISS. Beautiful cinematography, beautiful direction, gorgeous cast, amazing script. Loved everything about it.

Things that broke/confused me

Serkan being a complete dolt and instead of enjoying the woman he loves cuddled up beside him, he takes the time to reiterate that he doesn’t remember their conversation from the night before. SMH. Eda was about to risk it all one last time, and Serkan’s poorly timed dose of realness is the final straw.

The tears in his eyes when she left the office. He was still fighting being vulnerable, even after Eda basically gave him the roadmap with an x for how to achieve success. Thankfully, by episodes end his own desperation at potentially losing her outweighed his “logic” and self preservation. Eda is teaching Serkan that its okay to need other people and that he doesn’t have to shoulder everything alone. #MyEndlessFloodOfTears

Aydan being unable to see how very much Serkan loves Eda and her - bordering on delusional at this point - push for Serkan to marry a woman who inspires no passion, no interest, no life, no spark in him! I understood it initially. But now it’s just comical. Seyfi is clearly team #Edser. I know the Bolat’s have a history of trauma. But pushing Serkan into a loveless marriage, while hurting Ferit and potentially Eda (and Serkan himself) seems absurd to me.

Ayfer’s reaction to the contract was OOT IMO. The show has been quite light handed with drama and this was the first time I thought the hysterics was over done. I understand that it was a shock, I understand that feelings of betrayal and hurt are natural. But a moment of reflection - as well as allowing Eda to explain - would have easily highlighted what Ayfer already knows - that there is a lot more happening between Eda and Serkan than a mere contract. Furthermore, this “Serkan Bolat is the devil incarnate here to take advantage of our poor Eda” is ridiculous. Serkan is a good person - logical and sometimes aloof - but he isn’t devious. If anything, Ayfer getting to know him during their terrarium creating afternoon left her with a good impression of who he is. So unless there are missing scenes somewhere, her suddenly being anti-Serkan feels like a necessity to serve the upcoming plot, as opposed to an organic happenstance. Not my favourite development. This includes her orchestrating Eda’s scholarship in Italy. Feels out of character. But let’s see how it all plays out.

Things I know is coming:

From the fragman, Serkan names a star or something after her #squee

Selin finally getting it

Aydan not getting it

Seyfi being over the moon - along with Melo no doubt

D R A M A about parents and death and cover-ups but I’m ignoring that for now

And most importantly:

Dating

Kissing

Hugging

Giggles

#FlingsSelfIntoTheEverLovingSun #NotPrepared

[mermaidsirennikita]

books (in the time of corona)

PART I: ADULT EDITION

Let’s get real--we’re all going fucking insane.  

Therefore, I’m recommending some books with which you can kill time.  I’m breaking them into categories--the romance category including several subgenres but by and large covering books that focus more heavily on the romance than anything else.  These will all be adult books; I’m doing a separate page for YA recommendations.

I’ll be adding to this list as I finish books that I feel belong here.

ROMANCE

A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux.  A young woman is abandoned by her scoundrel of a boyfriend, only to find a literal medieval knight in shining armor.  Pure 80′s cheese, a classic in the time travel subgenre long before Outlander ever happened.

The Circle Trilogy by Nora Roberts.  Six sexy people, three men and three women in Roberts fashion, travel across time and parallel dimensions to fight an evil vampire and her undead army.  Come for three fun romances, stay in particular for the “virgin bookworm queen captures the heart of the formerly evil 1,000 Irish vampire” ship.

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne.  Rival coworkers who’ve always hated each other compete for the same job--until maybe?  They start?  Hooking up?

From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata.  A down on her luck singles figure skater pairs up with the pairs champion she’s always despised... Unless they in fact, in a STUNNING TWIST, do not hate each other?

Pestilence by Laura Thalassa.  A BIT ON THE NOSE RIGHT NOW, but I promise that this tale of a hot virgin Horseman of the Apocalypse spreading his plague and the one woman brave enough to fuck him is WORTH IT.  As is the sequel, War.

My Lady’s Choosing by Kitty Curran.  A literal choose your own adventure novel, but the adventures bodice ripping Regency romance plots!!!

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang.  A sweet and smart woman on the autism spectrum hires a male escort to teach her to be good at sex.  Shit goes DOWN from there.

The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary.  She works days; he works nights.  She needs a cheap place to stay, and he needs a roommate.  So they share a flat and even a bed (sleeping on opposite sides and never at the same time) only communicating through post-it notes throughout the apartment.  What could go wrong?

Marriage for One by Ella Maise.  She can only get her inheritance if she’s married.  Good thing a glacial attorney has offered to marry her out of nowhere, only for paper purposes.  What could go wrong???

The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa.  Lina is a wedding planner who was left at the altar.  Max is the younger brother of the man who left her, and apparently convinced him to do the leaving.  What happens when they work together?

Get A Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert.  Chloe suffers from a chronic illness, which means that she’s never had a life--and so she compiles a list that will help her get one.  On the list?  Meaningless sex.  Which she won’t have with her building’s superintendent, even though he’s really down to help her cross off all the other items, riiiight?

HISTORICAL FICTION

Passion by Jude Morgan.  The dramatic and intense height of Romantic England, told from the perspectives of Caroline Lamb, mistress of Lord Byron; August Leigh, his sister and lover; Mary Shelley; and Fanny Brawne, fiancee of John Keats.

Girl with a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier.  Impoverished Griet becomes a maid in the household of the painter Vermeer, becoming his muse after he realizes that she has a natural eye--much to the dismay of his wife.

Snow Flower and The Secret Fan by Lisa See. In nineteenth century China, best friends Lily and Snow Flower follow each other through emotional and cultural revolutions, communicating through the secret language of fans.

The Memoirs of Cleopatra by Margaret George.  Cleopatra recounts her life story, from her earliest memory, through her affairs with Caesar and Antony, and her end.

Mistress of Rome by Kate Quinn.  In Domitian’s Rome, a Jewish girl rises from the position of lady’s slave to the emperor’s mistress through wiles and scheming.

The Tiger Queens by Stephanie Thornton.  The rise and fall of Genghis Khan’s empire, as told through the women of his family--from his favorite wife to a clever daughter-in-law.

At the Water’s Edge by Sara Gruen.  A socialite follows her incompetent to Scotland as he struggles to find the Loch Ness Monster and redeem his ancestor’s name--finding herself and questioning her life in the process.

A Year of Ravens.  A collection of short stories by different authors, all centering on Boudica’s rebellion through the eyes of her countrymen and her enemies.

Feast of Sorrow by Crystal King.  A slave becomes a chef in the treacherous household of a social climber struggling to gain the favor or Caesar August.

Fatal Throne.  Six authors tell the stories of Henry VIII’s wives, all from their differing perspectives.

Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid.  The rise and fall of a 1970s rock band is charted through the recollections of its members--as they recall what drove them apart, and in particular the intense relationship between the leader singers.

THRILLERS

The Girl in 6E by A.R. Torre.  A woman with murderous impulses locks herself in her apartment to keep the public safe, making a living as a camgirl.  She’s left torn between morals and impulse when she begins to suspect that one of her “fans” is dangerous.

Little Deaths by Emma Flint.  In 1960s America, a single mother finds her personal life and image called into question when she’s accused of murdering her two young children.

My Sister, The Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite.  A nurse covers up her beautiful sister’s murders, only to be caught between loyalties when the doctor she loves falls for said sister.

The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine.  A plain “nobody” transforms herself in order to steal a high society housewife’s husband, only to deal with more than she bargained for.

The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen.  A woman obsesses over her ex-husband’s new fiancee, leading her to disturbing lengths.

The Other Woman by Sandie Jones.  After meeting her ideal man, a woman must contend with his possessive mother, who will do anything to maintain her hold over him.

Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman.  A couple on their dream honeymoon find something in the water that will change the course of their life together.

The Au Pair by Emma Rous.  The day Seraphine and her twin brother were born, their mother flung herself off a cliff and their nanny disappeared.  Decades later, Seraphine discovers a photo taken of her parents just before her mother’s death--with only one baby.  The only person who holds the key to the mystery?  The au pair.

My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing.  A couple keeps the spark alive through murder.

Lock Every Door by Riley Sager.  A young woman takes a job apartment-sitting in a high-end Manhattan building.  Shortly after she befriends another sitter, the girl goes missing--with everyone else acting like nothing is amiss.

The Wives by Tarryn Fisher.  Thursday is one of her husband’s three wives, though she’s never met the other two.  When she finally does meet the third wife, she discovers a woman far different from what she expected--and covered in bruises.

FANTASY/SUPERNATURAL/HORROR

Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier.  Sorcha is the youngest of seven children in medieval Ireland.  When her stepmother curses her six older brothers to live as swans, Sorcha agrees to weave them shirts of painful thistles, all the while remaining silent, to break the spell.

Black Pearls by Louise Hawes.  A collection of dark fairy tale retellings.

The Incarnations by Susan Barker.  A man receives letters from an anonymous source, detailing his supposed past lives throughout historical China.

Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust.  A dark Snow White retelling, with a stepmother whose goals extend far beyond the princess.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo.  Alex Stern is discovered as the sole survivor of a brutal multiple murder, and is promptly scooped up by a group charged with monitoring the occult societies at Yale.  Now disguised as a university student, Alex must figure out who’s been murdering locals, while also hiding what happened the night she lived.

The Silent Companions by Laura Purcell.  A young widow in Victorian England is sent to her husband’s country estate to wait out her pregnancy, and is not alarmed to discover a “silent companion” (a painted wooden figure) in the house.  But when the figure’s eyes begin following her, she is sucked into a history beyond her imagination.

Circe by Madeline Miller.  The story of the woman who would seduce Odysseus, from her beginnings as a plain witch born of Helios and a mother who couldn’t care less.  A classic rise to power story.

CONTEMPORARY LIT

Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal.  Down on her luck Nikki takes up a job as a creative writing class instructor for the Punjabi widows in her West London neighborhood.  It turns out that the widows thought she was there to teach them to write in English--which leads to the class becoming a place for them to share their stories orally instead.  And it turns out that they’re a bit... erotic.

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones.  Upwardly mobile newlyweds Celestina and Roy have their lives upended when Roy is falsely accused of a terrible crime and sent to prison for twelve years.  When he’s released early after five, he returns home to find that Celestina has changed completely, and their marriage is entirely unknown.

Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo.  A young Nigerian couple has always been against polygamy; but after the wife fails to get pregnant, her in-laws show up on their doorstep with a second wife.

NON-FICTION/MEMOIR

Harem: The World Behind The Veil by Alev Lytle Croutier.  An examination of the Ottoman Empire’s harem culture, focusing on the women within.

Love For Sale: A World History of Prostitution by Nils Johan Ringal.  Not really a GLOBAL history of prostitution, but a good introduction starting with ancient times and going into the cases of more recent madams in America, with a strong case for legalization worldwide.

Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire by Amanda Foreman.  A readable biography of the famously scandalous and tragic duchess, to be read while you kill time rewatching “The Duchess” starring Keira Knightley.

Lucrezia Borgia: Life, Love, and Death in Renaissance Italy by Sarah Bradford.  A fair but none-too-precious assessment of one of Renaissance Italy’s most controversial women, and an analysis of her relationships with her father and brother.

The Life and Death of Anne Boleyn by Eric Ives.  While you’re quarantining, you might as well read the definitive Anne Boleyn biography, yes?  This one is responsible for much of the modern attitude on Anne.

Queen of Fashion: What Marie Antoinette Wore to the Revolution by Caroline Weber.  A fascinating analysis of Marie Antoinette’s political life through her clothes.

The Monster of Florence by Douglas Preston and Mario Spezi.  An analysis of the infamous, unsolved “Monster of Florence” case.  One of the most gruesome serial killers in Italy’s history, the monster’s crimes were pinned on several different men, and even investigated by the prosecutor who botched the Amanda Knox case.

The Forger’s Spell: A True Story of Vermeer, Nazis, and the Greatest Art Hoax of the Twentieth Century by Edward Dolnick.  An examination of the case of Han van Meegeren, a painter who forged and sold many Dutch master fakes, and the pretentious art world that let him get away with it for years.

The Secret History of the Mongol Queens: How the Daughters of Genghis Khan Rescued His Empire by Jack Weatherford.  A study of the women in Genghis Khan’s family, and in particular those that kept his empire from falling to ruin after his death.  A good companion read with Stephanie Thornton’s fiction novel Tiger Queens mentioned above.

Chasing Aphrodite: The Hunt for Looted Antiquities at the World’s Richest Museum by Jason Felch and Ralph Frammolino.  How did the Getty Museum end up with so many stolen artifacts?  This book aims to find out.

The Creation of Anne Boleyn by Susan Bordo.  A different kind of Anne Boleyn book, studying her portrayal in culture and fiction--complete with input from Natalie Dormer following her portrayal of Anne Boleyn on The Tudors.

Blood Sisters: The Women Behind the Wars of the Roses by Sarah Gristwood.  An examination of the women of the houses of Lancaster and York during their famous, long-running conflict--and how these women had an impact on battles and politics alike.

The Dragon Behind the Glass: A True Story of Power, Obsession, and the World’s Most Coveted Fish by Emily Voigt.  The author delves into why people are so obsessed with the arowana, a rare and exotic fish, to the point that they’ll commit murder--and becomes wrapped up in the fascination herself.

The Rules Do Not Apply by Ariel Levy.  Over the course of a month, Ariel Levy watches everything she held true in her life--her financial security, her career, her marriage, and her pregnancy--fall apart.  Levy must confront what it means to live an “unconventional” and “free” life, only for that to become meaningless, and pick up the pieces.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to find The Good Death by Caitlin Doughty.  Doughty recounts her global travels to observe and study different funerary and death rituals, recounting and analyzing her experiences with respect and personality.

Lady Killers: Deadly Women Throughout History by Tori Telfer.  A collection of female serial killers, analyzing why they did what they did and the cultural legacy they left behind.

Severed: A History of Heads Lost and Heads Found by Frances Larson.  A history of decapitated human heads, and what different cultures have done with them.

From Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home by Tembi Locke.  Tembi Locke was never truly accepted by her husband’s Sicilian family, as a black American woman.  But when Saro dies young of cancer, she finds herself more deeply entwined her in-laws, as she works to pick up the pieces.  (Warning: one of the most achingly romantic books I’ve ever read; but it will destroy you.)

[lunarianborn]

☾  @roseofbaron​:   aloe, belladonna, chrysanthemum, gladiolus, hydrangea, lavender, magnolia, oak, sage, zinnia  ☽  BOTANICAL HCS  :  accepting

aaahh a true bouquet !  watch me doing all of these I haven’t replied to yet because, one i’m thirsty for more chances to throw hcs at the dash, two the meme is good and all the questions are pretty interesting, tysm <3 

belladonna :   how does your muse respond to silence ?   do they take comfort in soundlessness ,   or seek to fill the void with noise ?  

He responds to silence quite well and always seemed to do as such, he enjoys peace and quiet and always did ever since he was a child. Having been raised inside a king’s castle must have been quite the experience for him, as a kid -- for it would rarely be completely silent and quiet as an ambience. Between meetings, feasts, banquets and all ceremonies and occasions pertaining to a monarch’s life, and Cecil growing up there from the very start, I can’t imagine him having the chance to enjoy silent spaces much; still -- !  his bedchambers reside on the west tower, the highest of the castle, away from sources of noise. It’s quite the solitary place too, away from the main halls, engulfed in silence basically all the time; having been its resident from childhood, Cecil grew to tolerate the tranquility it could offer him - while studying, while reading or thinking, or even practicing with his sword.

I’d call it comfort, simply because that’s the way he always lived. This doesn’t mean Cecil doesn’t enjoy the lively atmosphere a mundane / royal life could offer him, but being the reserved and quiet person himself, I see him enjoying peace more. 

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?  how do they feel about love as a concept ?  

If Cecil represented a romantic concept, I’d say he could as well be courtly love personified. And I know it may sound boring and oh so called for, but I MEAN. He’s Cecil. A knight in a medieval setting who is feeling, at first, that he cannot be with the girl he loves for whatever reasons, that saves her life and rescues her from her kidnappers, to swear unending love by the end of the tale. A classic, Cecil would be a classic haha. So, I guess the term courtly love partly fits him.

By courtly love, though, I don’t refer to the literary or epic kind; he’d simply find love as a form of pure devotion, not assuming control of his heart in an impetuous or rebellious way -- which is nice regardless, he’s a kind type of lover, courteous indeed. For example, when he used to be a Dark Knight, he was not expected to stay with the one he loved; instead of rebelling against such rule, he simply accepted it, bowing his head for the ‘greater good’ and for peace and in the name of traditions; BU,T in his heart, he was still in love. And the feeling is there to stay...

Canonly, by what Kain says in the novel, actually, it seemed Rosa was the one to take the first step, when she started ‘looking at Cecil in a way she never did’, presumably when they were young teens. Cecil, at some point, with age, did come to realize he too felt something more for her; the curious thing, though, is that they never actually confessed. Maybe, true courtly love would have the knight confessing his passion, but Cecil doesn’t. He misses the chance and things get worse when he gets knighted a Dark Knight, at 15yos, the age where Baronian kids seem to reach adulthood officially. No, he kept the true nature of his feelings for himself, despite the truth being rumored and known. Kain knew it, Rosa’s mother suspected it, everyone could have seen it.

So, in these terms, it’s safe to assume Cecil keeps being the soft-spoken, tranquil lover. He doesn’t reveal his feelings if not at the very end, because he fears what it’d mean for the other’s reputation and honor -- those are pretty important things, for he would not tolerate himself or his love to be cause of pain or struggle. And so, being the reserved kind, he’d resort to subtle ways to express love, to court someone. Lingering gazes, gifts, to try and spend most of his spare time with them... you know he’d try to play or sing something, he’s no bard but he is the type.

Love is devotion and its shades and sides to permeate his life. Love for his partner, for his home, for his child, and for his brother too, nonetheless. He commits to it and seeks to protect it at all costs, sometimes even resulting as a bit oppressing -- but he’s on the purest and best intentions whenever that happens. Love is bliss. For someone who believed all his life to having been abandoned by his family, he finds the concept of love to be light incarnate too. After all, hadn’t his father loved him so, he wouldn’t have never become a paladin eheh

gladiolus :   describe a moment from your muse’s life that they will never forget.

One moment he’d never forget must definitely be the day when he officially went from being a squire to a knight. The same ancient trial all boys of Baron, while hoping to enlist into its military ranks, must partake at the coming of their 15th birthday - the same one Ceodore insists being part of, despite his title as prince. The task is not as simple as one would believe, especially for a kid so young and barely skilled with the true art of the sword: he must enter a cave, grab the so-called Emblem of Knighthood inside, defeat its guardian and emerge victorious, a true knight to Baron.

No child is told of said guardian though, it usually being a big sandworm trained to react and attack whenever anyone is about to pick the emblem. And, even better, no kid is told the famous emblem is nothing more than a mummified rat’s tail.

Eager to prove his worth, Cecil waited for the fated day with high expectations and premises, only to almost risk his life against the sandworm. He doesn’t remember much of that fight, but he does recall the final blow at the beast’s hellish muzzle and the initial disappointment in finding the tail; but the moment he returned home, to be officially and solemnly invested a knight by the King, -- ceremony followed by a banquet and feast, as tradition commands, especially for residents of the castle -- everything changed.

It was a big deal. The boy that always felt a foreigner, one of the very few lucky one to have been granted so much for so little in return, does finally feel part of the city, of its community and its military ranks. Plus, his adventure in the cave was a good story to tell companions and friends !

hydrangea :   how much does your muse value communication in their relationships with others ?  are they prone to being misunderstood ?

Quite a lot, but he wasn’t very skilled with words when very young. He got better as years passed, but his character too didn’t make things easier; he thinks communication is the basis of every sane and good relationships. Even in-game and ‘in-novel’, with Rydia, the first thing he does, when fleeing with her to Kaipo, is to try and communicate. To console her, to cheer her up the best he could -- despite the child’s reluctance and silence.

Even as king, he found the importance of communication to reign over mostly all of his relationships -- from work, to family. I’d say his toughest challenge on that front came from his son and his character, his ideas and projects for his own future; while on a side it makes him happy to see Ceodore growing up so sure of his own thoughts, despite his title and familiar ties, it also pains him to not being able to speak as much / of what he’d like to him (heart-to-heart types of conversations, I mean - in the novel, Ceodore admits he never saw his father weak or tired, and that they never talked much of very personal matters).

I don’t think he would be easily misunderstood though. He learnt how to act as a leader early on, and the role only got enforced once king. He is supposed to be clear, and he’s supposed to be listened to, especially when his role(s) demands him to be.

lavender :   how easy is it to gain your muse’s trust ?  once their trust is broken ,   how might one go about mending it ?  

It’s quite easy, honestly. He tends to see the brightness and positivity in everyone he comes to know - especially during his journey, and tends to form bonds of trust when felt or necessary. It’s not that rare, honestly, the only true exceptions come from individuals who are obviously ill-mannered or plain evil and suspicious !

And it takes a lot to break his trust. Overall, he’s a very pure man, trying to find light even when it is scarce indeed -- he’s a good man. When Kain does take the last Underworld’s Dark Crystal to give it to Golbez, everyone in the group starts doubting him again. And yet, Cecil doesn’t give up on him  (and remember it’s the second time he gets ‘betrayed’ -- although the novel explains what is really going on inside Kain’s head, and by that point, he was just acting as a bait...)  and tries to think of why Kain had “betrayed them again”. He even omits to tell Giott of it, in fear Kain would have been branded a traitor and sentenced.

“Cecil told him everything. Of how they had successfully reached it [the Crystal], and of how Golbez had appeared to rob it. He never mentioned Kain’s involvement. Although he had betrayed them, he still believed there was good in Kain’s heart. He considered him a friend nonetheless, and believed the darkness to have gained control of his mind, back in the cave. He didn’t wish for him to be called and considered a traitor.”

magnolia :   describe your muse’s relationship with nature   &   the natural world. 

It’s ironic, because Cecil -- hadn’t his parents died before having the chance to meet and raise him like they partly did for Theodor, would have grown up in a small woodcutters-like village amidst the forests next to Mysidia. Baron too is surrounded by green plains, lakes and rivers, it’s beautiful to see - truly, but he didn’t have much time or dedication to spare to the city’s surroundings. As a child, perhaps, he could have hoped to train or venture outside the city’s walls more often. Since a chocobo forest is nearby, I like to think Baron youth do actually learn to ride the birds out in the open, where there’s plenty of space and green to practice.

Being son of Kluya, the very Lunarian who introduced magic to humans, I think Cecil was born with a natural aptitude for magic; his legacy as a knight didn’t allow him to put those hidden qualities into any practical use, and the few white magic spells he knows as a Paladin are, also, rather weak (which is, ironically, the complete opposite of Golbez’s case). To hone one’s own magic, the user has to have a connection with the natural world, which is the primary source of energy needed to cast spells. This is why I think, albeit having little chances and few true opportunities to venture outside for leisure - Cecil has a subtle, inborn link with nature (as many mages do too) and would find great pleasure in nature and its joys.

oak :  who would your muse consider the strongest person they know ?

I believe he’d see Cid as one of the strongest people he’s ever known, even before the whole ordeal narrated through the game and his ‘sacrifice’ could be the nail sealing the whole deal, here. Having been raised without true parental figure, it is easy to understand why a child like him could have found comfort and warmth in such the extrovert man -- Cid acted like a father to him and never truly stopped, haha, he’s even there offering moral support (and some doses of panic too) when Cecil is literally becoming a father. Despite Cid having a family of his own, and a daughter too, he showered Cecil with attention and affection, like a true father would have...

I could argue Cecil did see a rather strong presence and soul in the late King of Baron, for very similar reasons. Minus the affection part (due to maybe king’s duties, prejudices, Cecil being a ward and not the UMM probably-long-lost-son-of-the-king’s-teen-crush, not officially at least) I believe, the two men are seen both in the highest regards from the man, he would manage to choose one between them. They both possess a spirit of sacrifice for the greater good, admirable values (till Cagnazzo enters the stage, at least) and morale, and both served as cardinal points for Cecil’s growth and childhood.

sage :   what is your muse’s legacy ?   what do they want to be remembered for   &   what might they actually be remembered for ?

Cecil is such a humble man, I doubt he would ever think stuff like ‘ah yes, and I’ll do this so that everyone will remember me for it’. But for everything he has accomplished and done for Baron, for the one he loved and from himself too, it is inevitable his name will long keep ringing in bards’ songs and in his people’s tales long after his life is spent. His legacy is Baron itself. The restored town, with its ancient monarchy and the promise of the star not being threatened anymore by the ambitions of a wicked Lunarian. His is a legacy of bountiful peace and prosperity, worthy of his courage and of all the pain he had to endure because of it.

Cecil also carries the hopes and dreams of his other people, the Lunarians. He incarnate all that is good and hopeful in such a difference race, not to mention - with hi brother, he is in fact the incarnation of their union (after all, Lunarians saw humans were still developing and growing, and felt their technological prowess and knowledge could have altered their natural evolution and development if forced upon them through cohabitation -- so they never truly invaded Gaia and remained on the artificial second moon, promising to find a way to coexist together only when humans would have reached their same intellectual level.)

He wouldn’t want to be remembered anyway else. He’s a brave knight, a loyal friend and a just king. It may not seem as much, but it is plenty enough for one of the savior of the star, haha! Which is also the cause of such big expectations being placed on Ceodore’s shoulders so early on too... it’s sad to think about, actually.

zinnia :   how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ?  has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ?

I think the losses made him more aware of the big role he had to, willingly or not, play for the salvation of what he held dear, and of the star. From the King being made puppet of a hellish demon, his body tossed unceremoniously in a hidden room on a mocking fake throne... to Yang and Cid temporarily disappearing and being believed dead... the twins turning into stone to save the other’s life... Tellah, but also the found truth about his father and mother’s deaths (novel explains that, for the longest time, Cecil believed to have been abandoned in the woods as an unwanted child... it’s heartbreaking, really, for he is sure of it and even says he doesn’t blame his mother for it. When he finds out she died of childbirth he is devastated also for having thought such a thing about her...) all shaped him into the rather firm young man he is by the end of the story.

And while not a loss per se, Golbez leaving the star to join Lunarians in the sleep and Kain disappearing for almost 15 years after the events of the game also happen to be strong moments for Cecil as well -- yes, almost as strong as true deaths would impact him and his psyche.

The sheer fear of losing his family and friends shapes him to the point he straight up refused at first to have the girls, especially Rosa, follow him back on the moon. The love for what he cannot ever afford to lose is what brings the light in his empty husk, during After Years, to defend Rosa and Ceodore before his ‘shadow-dark-knight self’. The tragedies, the scares and the moments of grief he lived through did make him a more responsible individual, a better fighter and even a more devoted man than he who was already; simply because that’s his entire world, and to know of his loved ones being safe is his true main concern...

[latin-dr-robotnik]

10 characters for 10 people

Thanks @beevean​ for tagging me!

1) Vector the Crocodile (Sonic The Hedgehog): My boy Vector doesn’t get enough love. He loves money, listening to some bangers on his headphones and taking on cases with his friends, who doesn’t love that? He also has to make ends meet, which makes him a lot more relatable than you’d think. And let’s not forget the fact that in IDW Sonic he is such a trooper, going out like a champ. Mad respect, my brother.

2) Rouge the Bat (Sonic the Hedgehog): “Fated not to be tamed // Watch me I never will lean upon you // I can go – by myself”

Rouge is a lot more than her “one polygon” or the sax guy in Sonic X going nuts every time she’s on screen, and it’s sad to see her character has gone to waste ever since -probably- Sonic ‘06, even if I kinda liked her in Forces. Rouge is a tough lass to deal with, she won’t stop until she gets what she wants, and that may lead her to push her luck a little too hard, but don’t let that take away from the fact that she also knows when to step down a bit and focus on other things, even if it hurts her ego quite a lot. She also has a soft side, and she managed to keep Team Dark together for a while now. That last point is what most fans have been pointing out over the years, so I don’t think it’s necessary to go in detail there.

She also has the best SA2 vocal theme, of course ;P

3) Rayla (The Dragon Prince): What can I say that hasn’t been said before? Even A:TLA comparisons have already been done to death (and the TDP fandom is frowning at me rn for mentioning it.) Rayla has done a lot, and she’s lost most of the ones she loved; but her determination to do the right thing and bring the Humans and Xadians conflict to an end has given her a lot of experiences, a new family and much more. There’s still lots to see from her in Season 4 and beyond, so I implore you to go watch TDP if you haven’t done so already.

4) Dracula (Netflix’s Castlevania): This is a more of a mellow, sad, tired and melancholic Dracula than I was used to (specially after coming from the old school Castlevania games), and I absolutely love it for that. The fucking Inquisition burned his wife, of course I would sympathize with him during his crusade against humanity; and now that those times are long gone, well... I miss him.

5) Iroh (Avatar: The Last Airbender): There’s not much else to say, he stood right by Zuko even when he turned his back on him, he wasn’t perfect, he learned some truly hard lessons in his life, but he ended up doing what he wanted to do the most: make others happy, serving them tea. This year I revisited Avatar for its 15th anniversary, and found myself crying a lot more than I remembered with Iroh’s moments. This show, man.

6) Theo (Celeste): I love Madeline to death, but Theo has struck me on a personal level. What seemed to be a happy-go lucky young man with a passion for selfies and Instagram (it’s actually real btw), turned out to be a man struggling to find a meaning in his life as he realized he kept hating the boring routine of the city life, and who isn’t going through something similar? His relationship with Madeline also reminded a lot of myself with my best friend, considering she also suffers from similar emotional struggles like Madeline. Celeste is so brilliant, and I’d love to hang out with Theo irl tbh.

7) Gaunter O’Dimm (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt): The extended universe of The Witcher is in no shortage of fucking amazing characters, but there’s one character exclusive to the third game that’s just... well... it’s evil incarnated. The motherfucker that has its own song that children sing it in the game, that plays in every cutscene where he is present or his name is mentioned, and that, should you choose the “bad” ending of Hearts of Stone, will simply walk away whistling that very fucking song. Oh, and did I mention he’s, like, EVERYWHERE during HoS main quest?

“His smile fair as spring, as towards him he draws you

His tongue sharp and silvery as he implores you

Your wishes he grants, as he swears to adore you

Gold, silver, jewels - he lays riches before you”

8) Elizabeth (BioShock Infinite): Bruh, that Burial at Sea Part 2 ending. THAT. ENDING.

(Although overall I prefer the first BioShock over the rest, the first half of Infinite with Elizabeth being cheery is absolutely unforgettable for me.)

9) Soren (The Dragon Prince): Yeah, another repeat, but can we get some salutes in the chat for my boy Soren? A true trooper, he endured all the abusive shit he was getting from his father, decided to do the right thing™ by leaving him behind, and now he’s such a badass at it! I’m still pretty much worried about his sister, Claudia, but it makes me very happy to see my boy fighting for global peace.

10) Kass (The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild): I just love him a lot. I found myself several times spending north of 10 minutes just listening to him playing that accordion time and time again on different beautiful places.

Phew! That took a lot longer than I anticipated. Now I tag @skull001​ @xsailormobian​ @isakthedragon​ @imilenium​ @isakthedragon​ and... and... well, I give up, anyone else that wants to do it please go ahead and have fun!

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 7x01 Lessons

aka redemption, nostalgia, and the circle of storytelling

We did it, guys! We made it to the last season! Also, hello if you’re new, and stumbled upon this without context. As usual, these impromptu text posts are the product of my fevered mind as I rant about the episode I just watched for an hour (okay, sometimes perhaps two). Anything goes!

And in today’s episode it’s the beginning of the end, as it’s relentlessly signaled towards the audience.

I’ll be honest, in the pantheon of Buffy season openers I find Lessons to be somewhat… middling. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of good stuff here, but there are parts of the main storyline that are just frustratingly inconsequential.

Let’s not beat around the bush – I’m mainly talking about Dawn’s new friends here. It’s obvious what the show is doing here, having Dawn form a friendship with two other misfit students and fighting demons on her first day of high school. We’re clearly going back to the beginnings. It’s what the Master aka the First tells us as well. Invoking the show’s very first episode and showing the next generation taking on that mantle.

(Also, that scene of the Fist appearing to Spike as all the Big Bads is still a lot. The music! Drusilla! You got me there, show. You got me right in my nostalgia feels.)

Which is a nice and cool thought. I love that. I love Dawn here. I just wish that the friends she makes actually appeared beyond this one single episode.

Imagine if one of those kids were Cassie! Or Amanda! I know that it’s tough to plan out these kinds of things, but the show’s done it in the past – or at the very least, set up a consistent group of background characters they could always go back to.

There are so many minor characters all over the Buffyverse, who were plucked out of that canvas and had their own little arcs through a few cameos. Think of Chantarelle, Amy, Harmony, or even Jonathan. And these characters weren’t set up to have as big of a role as they eventually got; the writers just saw an opportunity to develop them.

Meanwhile we’ve got these two kids, who this episode codes as part of our new Scooby gang. And we never see them again.

That’s just a bummer.

And it takes away a lot from the main action for me. Again, I like the idea of doing this, going back to high school as the beginning of a new cycle, where life as a teenager is hell… But I also wish I was more invested in the fate of these kids beyond Dawn.

On the plus side, I’m definitely a fan of Prinicipal Wood, and his lack of subtlety when it comes to his involvement with the supernatural. He’s like dropping hints that he knows what’s up, instead of just straight up telling Buffy that his mom was a Slayer. So is it any wonder that it’s getting picked up as shady on Buffy’s end?

He’s doing his best though, guys!! He’s got a lot of mommy issues. Give him a break.

Spike too has his own issues (which we’ll talk about in relation to Robin too). It’s a stark contrast, seeing a newly ensouled Spike here, laughing maniacally at Buffy asking him if he’s real. So are the cuts on his chest, marking his attempts at trying to cut his own heart out.

I don’t feel adequate enough to talk about that in depth. This is self-harm territory. But there’s also obviously something very specific about Spike trying to get at his own heart too in a metaphoric sense. Sure, through the heart is one of the ways a vampire can be killed, but he didn’t try to stake himself.

Spike’s a romantic. It’s one of his core traits that’s followed him through all of his incarnations. Even as a soulless vampire, he was a romantic. Except then, that side of him became twisted. As he was incapable of experiencing love in its entirety, this alter ego of his focused on what was left. Dependence. Obsession. Possession.

Spike as a vampire also reveled in his passions, and so to him violence, sex and love were all the same. They all came from the same place.

It’s no wonder then that the first thing Spike does after getting his soul back is to try and get rid of his heart. The thing that made him do all those things, even before he became a vampire.

Discussing redemption on Buffy is interesting to me, because this isn’t the show where that’s a central motive. Those stories happen over at Angel.

So, from that perspective, seeing how Willow’s story is handled here makes complete sense to me.

You know, I’ve read the hot takes about how Willow should be facing more consequences for her actions. But let me ask you this: what could possibly be worse for Willow than losing Tara?

Here’s another: how would punishing her be helpful?

And if your answer is “because murder should be punished because we live in a society”, that’s a good point. It is indeed how most of our society functions. For a reason.

But the show has been proposing for many seasons now, that normal societal rules don’t always apply in Buffy’s world. As a result, Buffy herself is positioned as the one with the power to decide how to handle any situation. Something that Faith already tells her in season 3; but Buffy rejects that idea then. At that time, she hasn’t even severed her ties with the Council yet, and was unprepared for that level of responsibility.

The Buffy of season 7 however not only recognizes her power, but embraces it. She is the law.

Which means that she can set her own principals and examples outside of society. And you can call Buffy self-righteous or whatever anyway you want, but she was never one for punishments.

Buffy always protects. If there’s a threat, she fights it, and if it’s neutralized, she lets it go. That’s why she never killed Spike after he was chipped. That’s why she didn’t kill Ben.

Buffy’s not vindictive and gives everyone the chance to grow; and in turn, so does the show.

“But… what about Faith?” – you say, predictably. I of course knew you were gonna bring her up. Mostly because you are currently just a voice in my head, arguing with my much more advanced logic.

Ah, yes. Let’s talk about Faith.

Specifically, let’s talk Faith in Consequences.

Hey, remember Consequences? The episode in which Buffy is trying to make Faith face up to her actions while also protecting her? The one where they argue about them being the law, and Buffy rejecting that specifically because Faith posits that they shouldn’t take responsibility for what they do?

More importantly, I want to emphasize this: with the gang, Buffy argues for Faith. She may not have quite embraced her role here yet as the law, but it’s clear where her head is at. She even asks for Angel’s help to keep Faith from becoming a threat.

Faith of course has her own set of issues that pushes her over to the dark side, but that doesn’t become evident for a few more episodes to the rest of the group. And I’d argue that it’s largely due to Buffy that Faith is even welcomed back for that short period of time.

Of course, comparing that to Willow’s murder is still not a good fit. Faith killed someone by accident at that point. Willow was going on a vengeance trip.

So let’s fast-forward to season 4. Where Faith wakes up and the gang doesn’t know how to deal with her.

Now, I criticized Buffy’s approach there, saying that she only seems to be preparing for two options here. Faith is either still a threat that needs to be dealt with, or she regrets her actions, in which case, there’s nothing to worry about.

Faith’s state of mind is of course a bit more complicated than that in the episode, but notice something important. Buffy doesn’t want to fight or punish Faith if it’s not necessary, even though at this point, she definitely did more than enough murder. When they meet, she tells her so. “It doesn’t have to be like this, you know.”

And for Buffy, that’s genuinely true.

After what goes down, Buffy’s pissed at Faith though. And yet we only see that side of Buffy on Angel the series. Where redemption for Faith becomes a central conflict, and one that’s ultimately resolved by her taking responsibility for her actions, and giving herself up to the police. A justice system that’s operating under normal societal rules.

And for Faith’s arc, that works. Part of her ongoing struggle was facing up and dealing with what she’s done, so this gave her the opportunity.

That however, isn’t always the case. Mostly because prison systems overall are largely unhelpful in actually rehabilitating people, but that’s a hot take for another day.

Narratively of course we still want that sense of fulfillment. We want to see the characters we love redeem themselves, and we want to be satisfied that it’s earned. But for me, that’s there with Willow as much as it’s there with Faith. It’s just that beyond the difference in thematic approach between the shows, their arcs just aren’t a one-to-one comparison.

Willow isn’t in denial about what she’s done. And she’s been dealt enough punishment as it is, even if it wasn’t any consequence of her own actions. By societal rules, she should be in prison, but because Buffy operates outside of those, Willow instead gets to have help, support and lessons.

And that’s kind of fascinating.

GILES:  “Do you want to be punished?” WILLOW:  “I wanna be Willow.”

I haven’t talked about Dawn nearly enough, but just know that I love her.

That is all.

[foxofthedesert]

From Nikita, episode 2x18.  On top, Nikita acknowledging a part of herself, deep down, that still loves Amanda.  That smile is a weight she hadn’t known was there lifting from her, a relishing of the freedom derived from accepting that Amanda is a part of her and always will be and that it isn’t wrong for her to care about someone who hurt her so much and so badly for so long.  

 Nikita is such an exceptional character.  She is tough as nails but soft as a fluffy pillow.  She wears her heart on her sleeve, cries every other episode, and risks everything for the people she loves all the while kicking so much ass and taking so many names.  To Nikita, emotions aren’t a distraction and people aren’t a vulnerability. She spent so long keeping Amanda in the same box as Percy, the hated psycho villain box, that this episode really threw her for a loop. 

Earlier in the episode, Amanda had a chance to kill Nikita but hesitated because there was still some invisible tether strung between them even though they had so long been enemies. Nikita struggled with Amanda’s unexpected mercy a couple times during the episode, trying to figure out why Amanda would do such a thing and why it was bothering her so much. Near the end when she was trapped in the containment unit, Amanda pacing outside, they have a heart-to-heart, both confessing that the other broke their heart. It was a powerful moment for both ladies that, unfortunately for them - and fortunately for viewers - set them on an unalterable path of destruction. And it is only made more powerful by Nikita’s response to it when the adrenaline is gone and she has reflected on what went down. To her, this emotional and mental victory is every bit as worth celebrating as the tactical one of denying Amanda/Ari control of Zetrov. 

All of the above is why Nikita, Maggie Q’s exceptional incarnation anyway, is and always will be one of my favorite heroines - a woman who stands side-by-side with the likes of Olivia Dunham because their strength is their profound humanity and their refusal to let hardships and the shitstorms life throws at them make them hard or bitter.  It’s also why Amanda is one of my favorite villains because she is, in every way, the yin to Nikita’s yang.  Amanda painstakingly constructed the Nikita that Division and every self-respecting spy fears, but she could never break the Nikita that loves with as much passion as she fights.

Meanwhile in the screen cap below, literally seconds before Nikita’s scene with Michael, Amanda is realizing the same thing Nikita did.  Unlike Nikita, however, Amanda hates herself because of that perceived weakness, love for a broken girl that weaseled into her heart six years ago and never left.  Only she didn’t know that until this episode.  

In the previous season and the lead up to this episode in S2, we see a lot of Amanda obsessing about Nikita, only we really never know why.  This episode here is where we find out, and so does Amanda.  She loves Nikita.  Maybe more than she ever has anybody else in her entire life.  Perhaps loving Nikita is what enabled her to care for Ari in whatever twisted way she did.  Obviously she doesn’t take this self-revelation well.  Already she is refortifying her mental and emotional walls, determined to never let Nikita back in ever again.  Or anyone else.  

This moment tucked into the closing minutes of the episode was the beginning of the end for Amanda and Ari’s relationship.  I am just now getting to this point on my rewatch, and my memory isn’t great, but I believe after this, love became Amanda’s enemy, second only to Nikita, because it cost her the victory she had spent so long striving and sacrificing toward.  To Amanda nothing was worth losing her shot at absolute power for, even love.  Especially love.  Especially especially love for Nikita.  

And yet because of that love she lost it all.  Thus the self-loathing and pure, unadulterated resolve to correct this flaw at all costs.  This is where Amanda goes off the rails, and it’s such a wonderful descent into madness.  I love it.  And I love Amanda.  Not just because I’d let Melinda Clarke read me the Dictionary and cherish every second of it.  She’s a great character and a great villain and I count myself extremely lucky to have watched her fascinating evolution as the show was actually airing on the CW.

Anyway, just got done watching this episode and had to gush. 

[smokedcapybara]

I feel like you'd have absolutely excellent D&D characters because your imagination is great.

I actually struggle a lot with making D&D characters, in fact I think I’ve only ever made one character specifically for D&D

my brain just can’t create a character out of nothing, I need something - a setting, a plot, even just a line will work - to create them off of (though I will specify that numbers, like character stats, are not something I can create a character off of)

so usually I take pre-existing characters of mine and convert them into D&D characters and then they often grow into separate entities from the originals

but I am good at role-playing and I have some D&D characters who became very loved by my fellow players

my brother has actually said he likes to have me in his campaigns because while I’m not good at the numbers and stats and all that I’m one of the best role-players he’s dmed and most of the other people he dms are better at the numbers and stuff than the role-playing so I’m usually there to even it out and keep things interesting

anyway, now that I’ve got the humility out of the way I’m gonna take this as an opportunity to rave about my favorite D&D characters I’ve had over the years

Inigo - everyone’s favorite gnome

a gnome fighter, the original Inigo - a mercenary in a book I might never publish - was created to be a mix of Inigo Montoya(Princess Bride), Puss in Boots(Shrek), and Reepicheep(Chronicles of Narnia), and boy did that come out well in role-playing

he infuriated the other characters with his sort-of catchphrase “we are brothers of heart, and soul, and mind!”, but also was the first person his friend and adventuring companion Zephyr went to about a crush on one of the girls who helped them(Inigo’s advice was “whatever you do, be yourself” cause he’s a huge romantic who believes if someone doesn’t love you for you then they aren’t The One)

one of the funnest characters to role-play and apparently everyone else’s favorite of my role-playing characters

Damian - my first good D&D character

originally the wise and mysterious cleric in a superhero team styled after rp adventuring groups he went through a couple variations before my first ever D&D campaign, which he was my second character in after my first ran off with my brother’s rogue’s dead body(I’ll explain later)

a noble’s son who was essentially forced to be a cloister cleric, Damian literally snuck away to adventure, and was somehow the most prepared in his party despite 1) it being his first ever adventure and 2) him being like 16 and having lived in a library/church/thing practically his whole life

he was also incredibly shy and fairly socially awkward but a very good ally once I found out I could just hold an action during fights to heal my party members the moment they got hurt

that campaign was the campaign of lucky rolls, like when he got hit in the arm by an arrow and I said he’d just pull it out and heal himself and the dm made me roll for it - I got a 20(imagine little book nerd 16 year-old pretty-boy literally pulling an arrow out of his arm without wincing and just healing it and moving on) - or when we walked in on a group of goblins burning books and I rolled a 20 on attack and one-shot one of them with a freaking throwing dart(never let a book-nerd cloister cleric see you burning books)

also he knew more about the campaign than our bard did with bardic knowledge(she knew we were looking for these fruit and she knew what they were called, Damian knew the exact conditions they needed to grow and why they were called what they were called and some other things I’ve forgotten)

Drew Quinn - Doctor Scratch-n-sniff

my first ever D&D character, he’s not a favorite but he is a good example of my loyalty to character in role-play

he was a doctor from a secluded village who left to find a cure to a deadly illness and kinda lost his morals along the way, since his village was purely humans(with some distant dragon ancestry that was relevant to the campaign but never revealed cause he took off with the rogue’s body) he had never seen any of the other D&D races before leaving so he joined the party for the sole purpose of studying their anatomy(especially those of the gnome and halfling - adult anatomy in such small bodies??)

so when they got into fights he would just stand to the side and take notes and only step in if it looked like they’d get too disfigured for studying. the one time he did step in he ended the fight with like two/three sentences. and then when the halfling rogue got killed by rats Drew decided the body was more valuable than following the rest of the party wherever they went and took off with it to study

Laea - The Barbarian

the first incarnation of Laea was 9/10 years ago - she was a gang member in a story about a gang of teens who discover they’re all secretly gods. the second was in a role-play game me and my brother did before we started D&D, roughly 6/7 years ago, in which her personality was established in the very first scene when she punched one of the other characters right after waking up and yelled ‘pervert!’

her other most iconic moment was yelling “pansy little wizard boy” when the party wizard went invisible when the party all first met

a druid barbarian who’s only actual weapon was a spiked gauntlet(her other weapons consisted of a crowbar, a chain, and a battering ram) and who’s more likely to punch her allies than to actually fight(mostly cause I started getting bad anxiety around her finally becoming a D&D character and relying on dice is very hard) she was another favorite of my friends’

Buttercup - Secret B.A.?

Buttercup was introduced as a kind, friendly, cheerful bard who always used Inspire Confidence or Inspire Competence(through dancing) instead of fighting

then almost one-shot a boss with a circlet of blasting(after pretending to not know what it does)

(she had the best stats in the party)

Darkness - Buttercup’s dorky older brother

the only awesome moment of his I can remember rn is when he successfully hid behind the invisible ninja

Stefon - the very angry captain

originally a quiet military strategist from an old story I considered making into a comic, he somehow morphed into the most done character I have ever played, and a captain of a scavenger(?maybe smugglers?) airship

then again his crew were kinda useless. he spent most of the campaign telling them how not to mess up only for them to do exactly what he told them not to do

Antonio - the other kick-butt book nerd

a member of The Fools Guild, the entire first session all I did was show gifs of Legolas making disapproving faces anytime Antonio was supposed to react to something, or I said “he continues reading”

so he was a bit of a background character to the rest of the party

until he threw his book at a bugbear. and then pulled out another book and went back to reading

but then when the party were attacked by soldiers shortly after defeating the bugbears he was literally the only one to actually kill anyone. with the crossbow the fighter had left in the cart. it was a one-shot kill

he went back to reading as they ran away and returned to not doing much until the party had to compete in a tournament to win some magic object or something

he was paired with the party artist(sorceress, but she refused to admit that) in the 2 on 2 fights. first fight he won with just his books. second he won with the daggers hidden in his books. each fight he brought out another weapon he’d somehow hidden on his person and each fight his teammate only got like one hit in before he beat the opponents. he quickly became the tourney favorite(it didn’t hurt that the gay orc couple who were doing the announcing and commentating thought he was really cute)

Slythus - the ancient weapon of mass destruction

an old character who’s gonna be in my Eternity comic, I used him for a space-age villain campaign

possibly the only time I’ve ever had him flirt with anyone ever, at all

there were lots of fun shenanigans in that campaign but there was a Main Player Character who the campaign revolved around and it was pretty obvious so his only great memorable moment was when one of the party members said “we’d need an ancient weapon of mass destruction” and he responded “I am an ancient weapon of mass destruction!”

Mane - the one made for D&D character

orc barbarian who acted more like a monk than the actual party - his introduction was stopping a barfight cause he may be a barbarian but he doesn’t like fights

best moment: when the other party members had all failed to get this locked door open and told him “it’s all yours” and so he just ripped it off it’s hinges and carried it around on his back the rest of the campaign, I think he used it as a shield at some point

he also kept an empty treasure chest they’d found cause he cared more about having a treasure chest than the treasure

sorry for the super long response, as a writer, D&D player, and lifelong role-player I’m very passionate about my characters

[tawakkull]

Spirituality in islam: Mahabba (Love)

Mahabba means fondness, tender and kind feelings, inclination, and love. Love that affects and invades one’s feelings is called passion; love that is so deep and irresistible that it burns for union is called fervor and enthusiasm. Sufis have defined love as the relation of the heart with the Truly Beloved One, the irresistible desire felt for Him, the struggle to comply with His desires or commandments in all acts and thoughts, and the state of being enraptured and intoxicated without “sobriety” until the time of union or reunion. These definitions can be summed up as “standing” in the Presence of God, as being freed from all transient relationships and worries.

True love means that a lover is set wholly on the Beloved, is always and inwardly with Him, and always has no other desire and wish. The heart of a person who has such a degree of love always beats with a new consideration for the Beloved at every moment. His or her imagination always travels in His mysterious climate, his or her feelings receive new messages from Him at every moment, his or her will takes wings with these messages, and he or she passionately desires to meet Him.

While a lover who transcends his or her self with the wings of love and reaches the Lord at the points of passion and enthusiasm, and in such a condition carries out his or her responsibilities toward the King of his or her heart, that same heart is set on His vision. Such a believer’s nature is “burned” with the light of Divine Grandeur, and lost in wonder and amazement. With the cup of love on one’s lips, while the veils of the Unseen are lifted one after the other, he or she becomes intoxicated with studying the meanings coming in rays from behind those veils, and is enraptured with the pleasure of watching the scenes behind them. One’s walking and stopping occur at the command of God, speech is no more than the inspirations coming from Him, and silence, when observed, is done in His name. At various times he or she journeys toward Him in “His company” or is occupied with communicating His message to others.

Some have defined love, in the context of God’s love of His distinguished servants, as doing good, and as obedience, devotion, and unconditional submission in the context of a servant’s love of God. The following couplets of the female Sufi saint Rabi'a al-‘Adawiya are significant in expressing this meaning:

You talk about loving God while you disobey Him;

I swear by my life that this is something very strange.

If you were truthful in your love, you would obey Him,

For a lover obeys whom he loves.

Love is based on two important pillars: that which is manifested by the lover’s acts (a lover tries to comply with the Beloved’s desires), and the lover’s inner world (a lover should inwardly be closed to anything not related to Him). True men and women of God mean this when they talk about love. According to them, emotional concern with or love of any kind of pleasure, including spiritual ones or interest, cannot be called “love” in its true sense. It can only be figurative love.

Every lover cannot feel the same degree of love for the Beloved, for love varies according to the lover’s spiritual and emotional depth, the degree of consciousness of and care in obedience to the Beloved. For example, the love felt by those beginning the way is not established and constant. They dream of acquiring the rank of perfect goodness and, at times, receive signs of the Knowledge of God, thrill at the twinkle of the “light” appearing on their horizon, and vaguely feel amazement and wonder.

On the other hand, those who have made much progress fly in the heaven of love toward the highest point. They live in the bright climate of the Qur'an as embodiments and examples of the good morals of the Prophet Muhammad, upon him be peace and blessings. While trying to represent his good morals, they expect no material or spiritual reward and demand no pleasure. Even at the summit of this holy representation, like fruit-bearing trees whose branches bend with the weight of their fruit, they lower their wings of humility and always mention the Beloved. If they are shaken with a fault or error, they severely criticize and fight with their selves.

And finally, those most advanced in the love of God are like rain clouds in the “heaven” of Islam. They feel existence by Him, live with Him, and see and breathe by Him. In a never-ending cycle, they are filled with pangs of separation (from Him) and desire to meet Him; when relieved or emptied, they mount on a beam of light and descend to Earth to embrace the whole of existence.

One who turns to Him with heartfelt desire and sincere enthusiasm, regardless of the degree of love, receives a reward according to the depth of feeling and concern for Him. The first group of people mentioned above receive special favor and mercy. The second group of people reach the horizon of per-ceiving the Attributes of Grace and Majesty and are freed from defects of character. Those of the third group are illumined by the light of His Being, awakened to the reality of things, and are in touch with the dimension of existence behind veils. That is, the Almighty manifests the light of His Grandeur to burn up the corporeal attributes of those whom He loves and elevates them to the realm of Divine Attributes, such as the All-Seeing and All-Hearing. He awakens them fully to the fact that they are poor and helpless before Him, and fills their hearts with the light of His existence.

One whose love has reached this degree, and who is rewarded with so much Divine favor, attains an eternal life beyond existence or non-existence. Like a bar of iron put into fire and thus appearing as a bar of fire, such a lover may be unable to distinguish the Divine Being and His manifestations, and therefore express feelings and experiences in terms associated with such false beliefs as incarnation and union (with God). In such circumstances, one must consider the Sunna’s established criteria.

The expressions uttered by profoundly spiritual individuals lost in love of God and intoxicated with love cannot be used as criteria by which to judge them. Otherwise, we may feel enmity toward such friends of God, who are favored with His continuous company according to the Prophetic Tradition: A man is with him whom he loves, [ Al-Tirmidhi, “Zuhd,” 50. ] and, as declared in the hadith qudsi: Whoever becomes an enemy of My friends has waged war on Me. [ Al-Bukhari, “Riqaq,” 38. ]

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Brooke you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Bellatrix Black!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

Bellatrix is such a complex character, so it was a delight to get an application that explores so many different sides of her personality! Her possessiveness, her addiction to torture, the vestiges of insanity, her love for her family -- it all came through beautifully in your app. I know she’ll be a much wanted addition to our mix, and I can’t wait to see how you explore her characteristics and allow her to grow depending on where the plot takes us. Congratulations and welcome!

application beneath the cut ( tw: death, torture, blood )

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Hi, my name is Brooke. I’m 26 and go by she/her. I live in EST time zone, USA.

ACTIVITY

I’m a teacher so my activity during the week can be a bit spotty if I have school functions, however I am active on weekends. So my number is anywhere from 6-8 given the day of the week. I also have the app on my phone and can post during my lunch breaks and when out and about.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

I was RPing here a while back as Lucius, but RL got away from me so I had to drop him. My friend Orlik is still here as Umbridge so I felt like coming back now that my life is more settled.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

I love Luna. She is someone so utterly full of life and she gives no fucks in the best possible way.

ANYTHING ELSE?

I am a devoted Ravenclaw!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Bellatrix- Means “female warrior” in Latin. This is the name of the star that marks the left shoulder of the constellation Orion.

Eris- Eris was the goddess of strife and discord

Black- a nickname given from the earliest times to a swarthy or dark-haired person

FACE CLAIM

Eva Green suits me fine! She has a wild beauty about her that fits my view of Bellatrix.

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

Ah, Bellatrix Black. The infamous zealot for Voldemort’s cause. Wielder of the power of Occlumency. Bringer of pain and destruction. What’s not to love about our resident crazy witch? She’s wild, full of blood lust, and evil. These types of characters are a blast to play! It is a small chance to drop the modern niceties and bring out a wilder side of you. Yet, Bellatrix is a character who is not one dimensional. Yes, she’s mad, but there’s also passion, loyalty, and even love.

Bella (I’ll call her that even though I imagine she’d allow no one but her sisters and Voldemort to call her that) is passion incarnate. Every action she does is done with her full self. Nothing is half assed with her. At any moment she is ready to kill for her cause and kill she will, with brutal skill and violent strength. Such is her passion that she utterly defends her cause, her blood purity, and family.

This brings us to her next point. Loyalty. She is of course loyal to the Death Eaters, but I would even say her loyalty to her family comes before that. She loves her sister Narcissa and I think, deep down, even Andromeda, though her passion would never allow her to admit it.  The loyalty for the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black is so deeply ingrained in her that she’d stop at nothing to make sure it’s honor is upheld to the highest. Merlin help the person who dares sully their good name. This of course means Andromeda, which brings out a heavy struggle in the two sides of Bella. Loyalty and Passion conflicting at once.

But let us not forget love. Bella has memories of her sisters that are not easily forgotten, even in throes of passion and madness. She loves them dearly as she does her master. She may not understand her feelings as love however. She might see it more as possession. They are HERS and must be protected at all costs. How she manages her love among her other traits as the war develops remains to be seen, but it is clear it will be a struggle for all involved. Nothing will stop her from her goals, not even herself.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Bellatrix uses sex as a means for power. Whether it be to sleep her way to the top or to get someone hooked on her extensive bedroom skills, Bella has no qualms about working what she has. She is bisexual with a heavy lean towards women. Women are so soft and delicate and so fun to break.  The sight of blood, dark and wet, makes her hot and she loves to break out the knives for a little fun. The feel of steel on flesh, lightly touching and teasing as it raises goosebumps on the skin makes her dizzy. But it all becomes clear once she plunges the blade into her unfortunate lover’s flesh. Muggles are particularly fun to play with, so innocent and trusting. You know that Bellatrix has been around if attractive young muggles begin to disappear at a frightening speed.

Bella does not feel love, per say. She feels possessive and things that she marks are hers are just that. HERS. Her sisters. Her master. All hers. The thought of her beloved Andromeda in the possession of anyone else fills her with rage. HERS. NO ONE ELSE’S. Andy will return, even if it means she returns to Bella in her burial shroud.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

-A MOODBOARD-  http://www.gomoodboard.com/boards/P2Bme_9I/share

-A PLAYLIST

Starset- My Demons (theme song)

“I cannot stop this sickness taking over It takes control and drags me into nowhere I need your help, I can’t fight this forever I know you’re watching, I can feel you out there

Take me high and I’ll sing Oh you make everything okay (okay, okay) We are one in the same Oh you take all of the pain away (away, away) Save me if I become My demons”

The Offspring – You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid

“Slowly out of line And drifting closer in your sights So play it out I’m wide awake It’s a scene about me There’s something in your way And now someone is gonna pay And if you can’t get what you want Well it’s all because of me”

Nancy Sinatra- Bang, Bang

“Bang bang, he shot me down Bang bang, I hit the ground Bang bang, that awful sound Bang bang, my baby shot me down

Seasons came and changed the time When I grew up, I called him mine He would always laugh and say “Remember when we used to play?”

Lana del Rey- Ultraviolence

“He used to call me DN That stood for deadly nightshade ‘Cause I was filled with poison But blessed with beauty and rage”

Imagine Dragons- Thunder

“Just a young gun with a quick fuse I was uptight, wanna let loose I was dreaming of bigger things And wanna leave my own life behind Not a yes sir, not a follower Fit the box, fit the mold Have a seat in the foyer, take a number I was lightning before the thunder”

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

The following section should be looked at like a survey for your character. Answer them in character and feel free to use gifs. Or, if you’d rather, answer them in third person or OOC without gifs. Answers do not have to be extremely lengthy.

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

Skin is full of holes, you know. Did you know that? Little tiny holes. Openings. Entry ways. There’s a phobia for that, you know. Imagine. A fear of itty bitty little tiny holes. It makes one think of something sick. Infested. Infected. Trypophobia. Foraminissanguinem is my spell. Imagine a geyser. So beautiful. Now imagine three trillion of them erupting. Each from a point nearly invisible to the naked eye. So beautiful, no?

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you: There is one object I have always admired since I was a tiny pip of a girl. The Staring Glass Eye in Borgin and Burke’s. It’s quite a simple object. Unassuming. Small. Shiny. Yet it does so much more than meets…well, the eye. It resembles a glass eye. Of course, it does. A small, round, shiny glass eye with a blue iris. Pretty little thing. Would match my collection. I do so love the color blue. Once held, its owner is alerted to anyone or anything that attempts to sneak up on it. It sees through all things, solid or otherwise. Organic or otherwise. Such a useful tool, no? I believe I’ll inquire about its whereabouts. If lucky, it will remain at the store for my purchase.

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

None. What a ridiculous question. Next!

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

That I were not the very image of blood purity. I am Bellatrix Eris Black, eldest daughter of Cygnus and Druella Black, of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. The blood of my veins is that of a pure blood witch. My lineage is pure and superior. To declare otherwise is to meet the end of my wand.

WRITING SAMPLE

The echo of footsteps reverberated around the abandoned alley. The man, breathing heavy, pulled himself along the wall with one hand. The other was wrapped protectively around his broken ribs. Each footstep was a burning agony. Each intake of breath threatened collapse. Yet, he continued on. The safe house was near. Just a bit further and he’d be with the others. They weren’t expecting him, but he’d be welcomed. The information he’d acquired…he shivered slightly, feeling cold. Was it the chill weather or the rapid loss of blood that brought on the shiver? He couldn’t say. A high feminine giggle echoed somewhere nearby. He paused, barely breathing. It faded in the night, leaving a haunting silence in its wake. He shivered again. Must keep moving.

Behind him, stalked a predator. The metallic scent of blood wafting in her nostrils. She shivered as well, yet for a wholly different reason. A sigh followed by another high pitched little giggle. What fun! Stooping down, one long finger reached out to touch the crimson liquid splattered on the cobblestone. A pianist’s fingers, he father used to tell her. In happier times, that is. The blood was still warm. The coated finger was raised to the woman’s lips. A fine color to match her already ruby lips. A tip of pink tongue darted out to taste the salty liquid. Another sigh, like one offered to a sweet-talking lover. Oh, this was fun.

So close. He just had to make it. She was closer, he knew. But there was no rush in her pursuit. She knew as well as he, that he was not going to make it. A tear slipped down his face, falling to mix with the blood on the stone. If he could just get close enough. If he could just find some way to alert them, then it would not be for nothing. They needed to know. He needed them to know. Another step. He stumbled and then fell. Black spots danced before his eyes, blacker than the night. The sound of footsteps drew nearer until they were right upon him. She tutted, sadly, before straddling the man. Her weight upon his broken ribs brought gasps of pain. She nuzzled him gently. Her finger, still coated in the man’s blood, stroked his stubbled cheek. A smear spread upon it, barely noticeable in his already bloodied features. She smiled, which tore a sob from the man’s lips. It was too wide, too toothy. She leaned in close, her lips almost to his ear, and whispered gently. His sobs came swiftly. “Did you really think I’d let you go so easily?” She pressed her lips to his cheek before sticking out her tongue. She licked the side of his bloodied face and shuddered heavily. “We’ve only just begun our fun.”

[greatwrath]

Ask me about my OC!

1: Origins! How did you come up with the concept for your OC? Answered here!

2: Were they originally well received by the fandom? Or if they’re fandomless, did the RP community take to them right away or was it hard to get attention? As I mentioned before, Azrael was ignored by the Supernatural fandom, but that’s completely understandable. There are plenty of sarcastic brown haired teenage girl angel OC’s out there and Azrael really wasn't anything special. She wasn't a big part of my life at that time. I didn't develop her back story, I didn't have any details on her, I just didn't spend a lot of time figuring her out, not that there was anything to really figure out. Azrael had no presence, nothing that set her apart from sixteen-year-old girls in high school.

So, with that said, I’m really glad I deleted that RP account in 2012. This incarnation of Azrael took a few months to get going, which I’m sure is pretty common for female muses. Then I stumbled upon all these fabulous muses and Azrael started existing in a far more diverse world made up of everyone’s characters and interpretations.

3: Has your OC gone through different incarnations during their stay on Tumblr? Were they reimagined or have they stayed the same all this time? Azrael was a Dominion OC for about two months, until I changed her to fandomless. Since then, she’s been pretty much the exact same way.

4: How do you get into your OC’s mindset to write for them? How do you find the muse for them? Answered here!

5: Were you nervous about putting your OC out there? How long did it take before you decided to play your OC here on Tumblr. Answered here!

6: What is your OC’s family situation? Do they get along? Do they fight? Or are they alone? Two older sisters, three older brothers. Raphael, Uriel, Michael, Gabriel and Lucifer. There is a bit of a time-gap between the creation of the Archangels and the creation of the second generation of angels, like a couple of billion years, thus making the Archangels and the other angels half-siblings or something of that nature.

The Archangels are often squabbling, until it descends into armed conflict again. However, they do love each other dearly, even if they struggle to show it normal ways.

There are a lot of formalities between Michael and Azrael. They are both stern, emotionally inept military generals, with straight faces and rigid postures. Between Azrael and Uriel, there is more squabbling, since they are polar opposites. Uriel is in touch with her emotions, her sexuality. She is brave and powerful, without sacrificing compassion or warmth. Uriel has no problem loving others, and showing that she loves others. This is in stark contrast to Azrael, who may be brave and powerful, but consolidates her power with fear.

Raphael and Azrael get a long quite well, because they are both a bit odd. Gabriel is very much like Uriel, but much more sensitive. He is merciful, passionate, gentle and does not enjoy the act of killing. Gabriel leaves the massacres to Michael and Azrael.

7: What does your OC look for in a friend? Do they value friendship a lot? Loyalty is very important to an angel who has been betrayed by her most loyal Lieutenants. She actively dislikes people who are loud and bratty, but she enjoys the company of people who are courageous, genuine, capable and quick on their feet. You shouldn't keep the Archangel waiting.

8: What does your OC look for in a significant other? Are they looking at all? Azrael is never looking for a significant other. However, if she were to, Azrael would seek the same characteristics that she looks for in a ‘friend’, but she would like someone who could teach her how to be kind and softer.

9: What is your OC like when at work? Are they diligent? Slacker? Do they get along with their co-workers? Answered here!

10: How do they deal with strangers? Answered here!

11: Is there a place they go to in order to escape the world, the stresses of life? What’s their favourite place? The Barrick Bullfrog mines.

12: What scent calms them? Reminds them of home or something soothing? Answered here!

13: Do they have any favourite foods? Would they eat it all the time if they had the chance? What do they hate to eat? French toast, with lots of cinnamon. Perhaps a bit of dark chocolate.

14: Pet peeves. Tell us what would really tick them off. Do they have a Berserk Button? Answered here!

15: Does your OC have any awful fears? Do they get paralyzed with fear or can they work through their fears? Abandonment. She doesn't want to be left alone in the dark again, after her Father left her.

16: What are concepts they value? Virtues? What do they look down upon? Azrael hates greed, cowardice, corruption. This is something Azrael will seek out in people and punish them for it. That’s why she hangs around Vatican city.

17: Do they have any guilty pleasures? They embarrassed about them? Do they flaunt them? There is no flaunting. Ever, of anything Azrael enjoys. She does enjoy bath time, having her wings stroked and of course, dark chocolate.

18: Do they have a guilty conscience? Why? Did they ever do something they totally regretted? She never used to have a guilty conscience. Her persona, pre-dark ages, was defined by a callous disregard for human life. Azrael could kill hundreds of people without a tiny bit of remorse. It wasn't until Mary Magdalene that Azrael developed a conscience and the full weight of what she’d done in the past hit her like a freight train.

Currently, Azrael does have some sort of conscience, but necessity overrides that conscience sometimes. If something has got to be done, then it’s got to be done. She won’t let something like “This is a terrible thing and I shouldn't do this” stop her.

19: Have they ever been injured? Sick? How do they deal with it? Azrael has been injured, by Lucifer, at the end of the war. She dealt with it by almost dying.

20: What are Tropes you associate with your muse? You can find them all here!

21: Name an embarrassing situation that your muse has been in. Answered here!

22: If given a million dollars, what would your OC do? Find a better place to live.

23: Any ships for your OC? Azrael and Zamara is the only romantic ship I have had so far, but that was way back in 2016. I do have a lot of platonic ships though, most notable being Kara and Azrael.

24: Have you ever gotten anon hate because of your OC? Nope! I think that’s a good sign!

25: What are your plans for your muse in the future? I would really like to write a novel, although I’m not sure how it would work out.

[lieutenant-wake-up-blog]

hey uhhhhh fanfic recommendations????

Ask and you shall recieve :^)I read a lot of fanfics while waiting for season three so i have a lot but I’ll try to keep this concise. All my recs are on A03 and a lot of them are klance, but if you are looking for something else then I can give some of those too. I tried to keep them somewhat PG and none of them are really explicit but there might be a couple spots. (Also bear with my awful formatting. I’m on mobile)

Letting Go by afangirlimagines:Summary“Shiro, I don’t know about this. I’ve never left Leo with someone who wasn’t family.”Keith is a single dad trying to raise his son Leo, continue to fight for custody from his ex,manage his two jobs, and now… a crush? To say he’s got enough on his plate would be anunderstatement. But the one thing he’s certain of is Leo always comes first.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9572342/chapters/21644705

Every Colour You See by centennial:SummaryLance always wanted to be an artist. But after a car accident, he’s left with a rare disordercalled monochromacy; making him unable to see any colour.Keith is a rebellious foster kid with a photographic memory and a passion for drawing,making safe places in his art, pieced together through photos in his mind.The two become roommates through a great coincidence, living together until the landlordeventually kicks them out. After time spent between them, Lance starts to notice somecolour in his life… In more ways than one.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8631979/chapters/19793827

I’ll Take Back The Stars To Find You by evaricious:Summary“Lance, how long have we been paladins?”Keith’s eyes darted between Pidge and Lance, eyes widening in horror as an easy grinspread over Lance’s face.“Oh, that’s easy. Like a couple of months or something?” Lance announced happily, hissmile slowly fading at the serious looks his friends were giving him.“…right?” he asked hesitantly, eyes coming to rest on Keith as he backed away from himslowly.“Keith?”Lance is injured but that’s just par for the course, right? The pods have never let thePaladins down before but something this time just isn’t right. Why can’t Lance rememberthe last year in space? Will he ever recover his lost memories? And what will Keith dowhen Lance doesn’t know him anymore?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10920477/chapters/24286707

Muse (Klance Highschool AU) by mywriting_con:Summary Keith doesn’t know any music. Lance knows way too much. Romance ensues.(This one is a rly short oneshot but I absolutely love how quirky and enigmatic Lance’s character is. This would have made for a great multific)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11368620

A Fighting Chance by SlytherinSweetheart (Cherrypie62666)SummaryThe compartment door slid open a crack and a tan-skinned face peeked in. Finding the place practically empty, the young boy opened the door the rest of the way and stepped past the threshold. His eyes were blue like the ocean with flecks of grey and white, his hair the color of coffee and kept relatively close to his skull. The hints of freckles could be seen along his nose, and when he smiled shyly, one dimple showing itself in his left cheek, Keith felt his heart flutter at the sight.

“Hi, can I maybe sit with you, please? My friends aren’t on the train yet, but they’re really nice.”

Keith blinked at the boy before nodding his head. “Sure, there’s plenty of room.”

The boy beamed at that, shuffling inside with a small owl cage in one hand, closing the compartment back up with his other. “I’m Lance, by the way. Lance McClain. What’s your name?”

“I’m Keith Kogane. Nice to meet you, Lance.”—Or A Hogwarts AU. Before Cursed Child, but after Deathly Hallows.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10706373/chapters/23715576

Fools Rush In by RedburnSummaryKeith is a struggling musician just needing to pay the rent. Lance is a high-end prostitutewith a heart of gold.They meet when Keith accepts the job as Lance’s new driver and sometimes bodyguard.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10179662/chapters/22609904

More Than Words by CawaiieySummaryMusic is the language of the soul. Keith wholly believes in that philosophy. He’s alwaysbeen able to hear more than just words in lyrics, more than just chords in music, and thisnew band speaks so loudly, with so much heart, that he’s swept away by their songs, and,more importantly, by their very attractive frontman.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8152024/chapters/18682507The Universe Put Us Together For A Reason by Snoop_Kat:Summary“AU where the date that you met your soulmate is written on you. When you met them,the date changes to their name.”Lance waited for the day that he would met his soul mate. He knew that she would beperfect and everything he ever wanted. Except she wasn’t a girl.(I ought to mention you should check the tags on these in case! This one includes internalized biphobia/conservative religion/homophobic slurs. If any of the tags on these are triggers for you I suggest avoidance or extra care while reading! Be safe Series!!!! (I’ll give you the first one of each and you can go from there)

Let’s Get This Show on the Road by bingbong21“Auditions”Summary

Once upon a time, Voltron was a household name in the music industry. Now, years afterthe fall of Altea Recording Company, Allura is hosting auditions for the newestincarnation of Voltron in the hopes of destroying Galra Records’s monopoly on theindustry.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9778604

Bruises Like Blankets To Keep Us Warm by PrincexofFlowers“You’re Due For Some Good”SummaryThey get the odd scrape or bruise, they stub their toes at least once a month, andsometimes they get burns on their fingers, but, honestly, who doesn’t do that? They’re notclumsy and, so far, they really haven’t had any major injuries.As far as soulmates go, Keith thinks, he really can’t complain.And then the bruises start showing up.—Soulmate AU where your injuries show up on your soulmate and their’s show up on you.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10466682Again, please make sure you practice safe reading skills and check for any possible triggering content in the tags! Sorry it was such a long answer, anon. I got ahead of myself. I hope you like these! They are only a few of my favs so hmu if you want more recs in the future! I am gonna try and locate some of my fav dance fics and non-ship/diverse ship fics just in case you or anyone wants them in the future.Have fun reading!

[tinyryder]

Reality Bites vs. How to Make An American Quilt: A Cross-Analysis (sort of)

I wasn’t going to post this but @free-winona made me. Peer pressure is bad

So I’ve always gravitated towards Reality Bites and How to Make An American Quilt in terms of movies that Winona Ryder has made. And why not? They’re pretty great films, and to me, they showcase Winona’s acting abilities the best. Here she is, playing characters her age, characters that could easily be incarnations of Winona if she hadn’t chosen to pursue acting. And moreover, her characters are everything we wish we could be in our twenties, even if they’re ordinary people: they’re smart, kind, dedicated, passionate, and (frankly) adorable. They’re disorganized and unfocused and awkward at times, but people still love them. And I, as a twenty-something, can relate to these spirited twenty-something characters.

But recently, I’ve realized how similar these two characters really are. And what does an academically-driven person do when school is out? Write a fucking essay. Here’s my cross-analysis of Lelaina Pierce from Reality Bites and Finn Dodd from How to Make An American Quilt (thanks Kayla for pushing me to do this).

Now the first and most obvious similarity is the fact that Winona did these movies one after the other, with only Little Women between the two. Winona apparently got a lot of flak for playing the same character over and over again, and maybe these two movies is where that comes from. And maybe I’m biased, but I really don’t see the validity in that argument. Here’s a brief timeline of that part of Winona’s career: she did three period pieces in a row (Dracula, The Age of Innocence, and The House of the Spirits), then came Reality Bites and American Quilt with another period piece in between the two, and two movies after that, she did another period piece with The Crucible. Yes, you can argue that characters can be similar even though some wear corsets and participate in high society drama while others wear muscle tanks and drink Diet Coke like it’s their job, but it just seems irrelevant to compare them and to allege that Winona acted herself into a corner, so to speak. She was a twenty-something at the time, so I think it’s natural for her to gravitate towards roles that she can relate to. Anyway, I’m done with this point, moving on.

The second similarity is the fact that both characters are twenty-something’s adrift in their careers. Both Lelaina and Finn struggle to make the right choices, and encounter pitfalls along the way. They both have passion, but it’s a little misguided, especially in Finn’s case. Part of her character arc is “will she or won’t she finish her Master’s thesis.” Lelaina’s main pitfall is that she is easily discouraged. She overhears her boss criticizing her and immediately sabotages her job, and then she applies for a few jobs and immediately gives up when that doesn’t work out.

The third similarity is that both characters are at the center of a love triangle. Yeah, I don’t wanna talk about it either, but it needs to be said. Lelaina must choose between Troy, her slacker, philosophy-douche best friend, and Michael, a career-driven young man who works for a TV network not unlike MTV. Finn must choose between Sam, her sort-of-fiancee (he proposes pre-beginning-of-the-film and she immediately flees to her grandmother’s house for the summer), and Leon, a guy from her grandmother’s town who we never really get much about other than he sells strawberries or something? I don’t know. In the end, they both choose the familiar option, although not the best. And that takes us to our next argument.

The third similarity is that they both chose the wrong guy, at least in my opinion. Troy is somewhat mean-spirited and douchey, and also lazy, but goddammit if he doesn’t have those puppy dog eyes that ultimately win her over. And let’s not forget that creepy song he sang about her in the club in front of everyone (why can’t you get just one kiss? BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ASS, THAT’S WHY). Also that one moment where he says he’s in love with her and then is like “JK, fuck you lmao.” Finn’s fiancee is never really given much characterization other than the fact that he’s a carpenter. But he’s the wrong choice for several reasons. Firstly, when Finn balks at his off-screen proposal, she asks for some time to work things out and work on her thesis and they agree to reconvene in September. But guess who’s back after what I can only assume is a few weeks with blueprints of their new house (which includes a room for a future baby. Yikes). He gets mad at her when she continues to balk about plans for the future, which I can understand. They have their little fight and he drives home and she tries to call him to apologize, but another woman picks up the phone. It’s later explained that she dialed the wrong number (back when no one had cell phones and we actually had to remember phone numbers), but I don’t believe that. From what little we see of him, he seems like someone who doesn’t respect her space, which is a problem I can only see getting worse once they’re married. This does not mean that I think Lelaina should have chosen Michael, or Finn should have chosen Leon. All these men kinda suck in my opinion. In an ideal world, Lelaina should have gone gay for her best friend Vickie and Finn should have ditched both guys and focused on her career.

Yet another similarity is the fact that both see their career crumble. They both have lofty aspirations, but these aspirations don’t win out in the end, which makes me sad. For Lelaina, she graduated valedictorian of her university, but still finds herself as an assistant to an asshole talk show host. She eventually sabotages this job and gets fired with the knowledge that she was going to be fired eventually anyway (a point which NO ONE seems to remember when talking about her actions, I mean come on). She briefly searches for a job, finds nothing, and spirals into a chain-smoking, TV-watching, cheese-curl-eating depression, which also includes running up her phone bill by talking for hours on end with a tele-psychic. It gets even worse when she gives Michael, Love Interest #2, the footage of her precious documentary and he and his evil MTV-esque corporation edit it into unrecognizability. For Finn, she is, I’m assuming, a grad student at UC Berkeley who is supposed to be writing a thesis, but keeps changing the topic. Things are further complicated when she loses her thesis in a windstorm (this was in that unimaginable time when laptops weren’t very popular) and is forced to start over. We never actually see either character’s career pan out, which is my last point.

Last but not least, both characters’ careers are never really resolved. Coincidentally, the resolution is tossed aside to answer the burning question “which guy will she choose,” which pisses me off to no end. In Lelaina’s case, after her disastrous documentary premiere, she falls into the arms of Troy. There’s some angsty back-and-forth, but she ultimately ends up with him and career what? She is seen moving apartments with him at the end and eagle eyes can spot the nicotine patch on her arm which tells us she’s giving up smoking and getting her shit together, BUT WHAT ABOUT HER CAREER. Then there’s the fact that Michael steals the premise of her documentary and recasts it with Lelaina and Troy clones. I guess artistic copyright isn’t a thing. Then there’s Finn, who loses the draft of her thesis in a windstorm and decides to start over, but again WE NEVER SEE THAT. All we get is that she goes back to her fiancee and decides to marry him, despite overwhelming evidence that this is a Bad Idea.

Alright, I’m getting angry, so I’ll stop writing now. All in all, I love these films. I love these characters. The films and the characters have their problems, but it’s comforting for me to see that life can work out okay sometimes.

[trandangelilber]

Milla Jovovich interview on Russian TV Channel "Rain" (with subtitles)

Good evening.

This is a program “Sobchak live”.

We shoot our program not in the studio, because today our guest is well-known actress Milla Jovovich.

Milla, thank you for the interview.

Thank you.

We know about you not so much.

That you are famous actress and favorite woman of Ivan Urgant.

And that you are sometimes visits Russia.

How many times have you come to Russia? I was born here, in the Ukraine, and was living in Moscow with my mother.

When I first time came back to Russia, I was 18 years old.

And since then, I every year visits Russia.

What do you most love in Russia? For example, going to the bathhouse or to the your favorite restaurant.

Of course I have a couple of favorite restaurants: Pushkin, The Garden, Sixty – restaurant on the sixtieth floor with great views.

I’ve been working here a lot and traveling around the world, but I always spend time in hotels.

From hotel to the studio and back to the hotel.

I live in such closed world.

Today you have been invited to the presentation of new jewelry collection by Jacob Arabo.

And now you have wearing these jewelry.

So let’s talk about diamonds.

Tell us when you first time was given a diamond by man? How it was? Not Swarovski, but a real diamond.

It was my dad.

I like vintage jewelry, collecting old furniture, bijouterie, generally things with history.

And my dad bought me a very beautiful old ring.

Half of the audience thought that now you will tell us a romantic story.

But it’s true that the first diamond I was given by my dad.

No, we demand romantic story! Then there is another story, but it was the second diamond.

At the time, my boyfriend was Mario Sorrenti – a wonderful photographer, who remains my friend to this day.

He talked with my mom and found out that we love vintage jewelry.

And he bought me a very beautiful ring set with little pink pearls and diamonds.

And I am silly, when went to the restaurant took off the ring to wash my hands and left it there.

It’s horrible, are you cried? Yes, I cried for several days, and all time asked if anyone found my ring in this hotel.

In what hotel did this happened? It was the Costes Hotel in Paris.

The man from the Costes Hotel, who took the ring of Milla Jovovich, remember, she returns from Resident Evil and avenge to you.

Speaking of “Resident Evil”, most Russian audience identify you with this movie.

Even not with Luc Besson and “The Fifth Element”, but with “Resident Evil”, cause this movie has many parts.

But it’s good, because every decade people associate me with a new image.

And when I will be forty, everyone will say that I’m shooting, for example, only in comedies.

I like a cat, I have nine lives.

I like a fan of your creative work, ask you, when you will be ninety, don’t accept an offer to play the monster in 148 part of the “Resident Evil”.

Ok, I promise you I will not wear tight-fitting latex suit in 90 years old.

I’m afraid, Ivan Urgant now upset.

As for “Resident Evil”.

Tell me as an expert how to struggle with evil, when you’re in the minority? First, is to be single-minded person.

My character in “Resident Evil” aimed for maximum annihilation of the evil.

You must to be strong and have an emotional weapon.

But it’s all in the movie, in real life monsters don’t look like monsters.

And hard to know who is bad and who is good.

Who is in your life the greatest monster? Anyone who makes a bad things with others, for example to hit the child.

Well, the news say that Fidel Castro have stroke.

What do you feel about this? Do you feel sorry that the whole era pass with him, or he is incarnate of the evil? I don’t know much about Fidel Castro to judge him.

Whose image do you like more: Fidel Castro or Che Guevara? What a strange questions! I like Che Guevara – he is handsome.

Do you have a T-shirt with his picture? Of course, it’s like an icon.

How do you like the Ukraine, Russia? Do you feel, that it’s a part of you, your homeland? Are you care about what’s going on here? I am confused a little cause I don’t watch the news.

I have a lot of work and family affairs.

Rarely read newspapers or news in the internet.

Well, for example, would you like to play a well-known Ukrainian woman – Yulia Tymoshenko? It would be great, she has strong character.

When I was in the Ukraine, she was all the time showed on the TV with a plait around the head.

Imagine that your favorite director invited you to play any female role.

What role will you choose? Meryl Streep, for example, always wanted to play Margaret Thatcher.

I always wanted to play Catherine the Great.

She was a great, strong, intelligent woman.

Did you know that Catherine the Great was famous for stormy personal life.

This is not a black and white story, there’s a lot of everything.

Many of your colleagues – Angelina Jolie, Madonna, and other famous actresses and singers travel all over the world, adopt children and engaged in charity work in Africa and Asia.

Can you call your trips to Russia the charitable help to the third world country? When I come here – I come home.

And it’s strange for me that you call Russia a third world country.

I feel myself like the Russian woman, everything here is close to me.

When I arrive at the airport and hear Russian spoken around me, I feel like I came home.

And I would like my daughter to feel it too.

On the contrary, Russia helps me, it fills my heart.

How often you visits Africa, Asia? I wasn’t in Africa, but I work with a charitable organization, which constructed radio station and built a small school in the Republic of Congo.

But rebels burned the station.

I would like to go with my daughter to Africa.

That would be interesting.

I would like my daughter to visit many countries different from the West, to see a different life.

Describe your ideal day, what would you do? Well I have a very modest and simple wishes.

To stay at home for a while already a miracle.

It’s good, when nothing to do, you can sleep longer.

I wake up and my husband brings me tea.

Then my daughter comes, smiles and shows me pictures that she painted in the mornin.

Then I go to the kitchen and cook breakfast for all.

Do you cook yourself? Yes.

Then we go outside or to the pool.

I like to cook a barbecue for friends.

That is, in this day no noisy parties, filming? No.

Only family and no work.

Today you’re going to visit the Garage Center for Contemporary Culture of Dasha Zhukova.

Are you familiar with her? What do you think about the project Garage? Yes, I am familiar with Dasha and I think that she has the heart of an artist.

She is looking forward.

Independent, smart, beautiful, intelligent woman.

With such people is always nice to communicate.

And who is more handsome: Urgant or Abramovich? Who is Abramovich? Billionaire Roman Abramovich.

My husband is most handsome! Good answer.

Do you like modern art? Generally yes, but with my tempo of life, I’m rarely visit museums.

Everyone says that in December 2012 will come a doomsday.

Do you believe in it? No, but everything can be.

And if it was known exactly what would be your last wish? To look into my daughter’s eyes and say that I love her.

Perfect wish.

But I think everything will be fine and you will have a lot of movies and parties.

Honestly, are you ready to act in the next part of the “Resident Evil”? Not yet.

It’s very close project for me and my husband.

Paul is the director and producer, and he wrote script for me.

It’s very fun to us to shoot these films.

But we have no one points when to shoot the next part.

We’re shooting it, when the inspiration comes.

We are not a factory of film stamping.

It’s a real passion for us.

I was amazed how sincere emotions made in you my question and your answer about the end of the world.

But at the same time in all your action films (“The Fifth Element”, “Resident Evil”) you play courageous fighting super-woman.

What do you think, why the films show only that part of you, not the touching and sensuality that you have? It much depended on me.

I didn’t want to play the roles of cute girls from melodramas, cause there was too much on-screen.

I wanted to show that women can be strong and she can cope with difficulties.

I think it’s interesting for women to see a strong heroine on the screen.

Especially we have already filmed five parts.

This has been never done before, and I’m proud of it.

Certainly more habitually to see on the screen the touching sweet crying girl whom I played in the “Vikrutasy”.

And you had no feeling that you went down to one level, starring in “Vikrutasy”, after all those Hollywood blockbusters? I really wanted to do the movie with my friend Ivan Urgant.

It was properly interesting to me to play with magnificent actors and to play a role in Russian.

I act in film not for money but when it’s interesting to me.

If you could award the prize to the best woman of the year, who would it be? Meryl Streep, Angelina Jolie.

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Is it just an actress doing something important in the world? Well, or Angela Merkel rescues Europe from the crisis.

Yes, this is interesting.

There are a lot of rumors about your friendship with Ivan Urgant.

Did you call him when arrived to Moscow? Didn’t call, but we corresponded by email.

We conceived to sing together at the Chanel party.

But he was very busy and we were not able to implement this idea.

Yeah.

“Milla, sorry, but I can’t speak with you now.

” I understand he has a lot of affairs and it was difficult to do.

Tell me please, what the most important thing that men don’t understand about women? I think men don’t realize that when you talk to the woman, you need to listen her.

Because all that necessary to the woman it’s to be heard.

Even if a girl talks incessantly about any nonsense, you should at least pretend that you listen and assent.

Thank you very much for the interview.

I would like to give you a book of Kir Bulychev.

Thank you.

I think this book is about you.

I don’t know whether you know how to read in Russian.

Don’t know, but I will ask my mother and we will read it together.

Go ahead, tear packaging.

Kir Bulychev.

“Guest from the Future”.

You are as a guest from the future for all of us.

Thank you.

It was a program “Sobchak live”.

Today our guest was Milla Jovovich.

I hope you enjoyed it.

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