#shes just so.... idk. it's been nice. ive actually been Wanting to spend time with her.

[faaun]

i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

[hella1975]

there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.

[orcelito]

Great thing about my new girlfriend is that we r both autistic so we are all 🤝 about being socially awkward. Another great thing about her is that we r both trans (t4t relationships ❤️). Another great thing about my new girlfriend is that she is 6'2" and I am 5'3" so I have a girlfriend that is literally 11 inches taller than me. And what a time it has been.

[miupow]

hii! wanted to send in a few thoughts!!

ive been really inspired ny the idea that soobins plush is a bunny dressed in a wolfs costume, and that lowk makes me wonder if in the crave verse, soobin is like a wolf in sheeps clothing?? like he'll act really nice, shy, + quiet but after you guys get close and during his rut he'll start to become rpugher and somewhat meaner? esp after he starts getting used to his ruts! i also feel like that sheep part of him still hold him back from being irrational! idk it was js in my brain for a while!!

idk if you mentioned this before but im also genuinely curious why some of the members ruts are not as bad as others (ex: tyun isnt that bad but beomgyu.., 😜) i assuming it varies based on how attached and how often the members spend time with you

will there be other wolf packs mentioned in crave verse? ive read before that wolves get very territorial so im wondering if like another wolf finds y/n while shes gathering berries or something for the members and tries to pull a move ?

anyways thanks for listening to my yap sesh, ill def make sure to write some more asks later on 🤞🤞

hiii!!!! pls share ur thoughts always omg thank u 

i love this idea first of all. soobin in general is a wolf in sheep’s clothing i think ( ˘ω˘ ) but crave!soobin definitely!!! he’s a sweet shy darling but it’s because he’s hiding what’s really under the surface.. soobin doesn’t want to be a slave to his instincts, but around you he just can’t help it :’(

ruts r different for every wolf ! some just experience them differently than others… it also depends on how much control they have over their wolf, like tyun has lots of control so he can manage it better but beomgyu has barely any which makes his ruts really bad !! same for soobie and kai (-ω-、)

it can also depend on mc too !! like if she’s ovulating around their rut… or if they just really like her a lot and end up thinking about her 24/7 during it (*/ω＼)

i’ve mentioned this a couple of times but there r other wolf packs in the forest ! the forest is huge and there r lots of packs including packs that the boys came from hehe . long multigenerational packs with lots of wolves . jjun’s pack is relatively small and weak compared to others which is why they like to keep to themselves ! skz is a pack in the woods too they’re relatively close to the boys hehe (*ﾉ∀`*) cee wrote about them for me once !! i imagine they find out that yeonjun and his boys nabbed a human girl and now jisung wants one too lol

the boys r really possessive so it wouldn’t end well if mc came across another wolf without them around !! i could see her keeping it a secret tho for the other wolf’s sake lol. some packs r more human aggressive than others so there is actual danger for mc if she gets found by one of those packs, but there r packs that r nicer too!

[astonmartinii]

F1 ASKS!

i saw this tag floating around and wanted to let yall get to know me better since i’ve been doing this a while and have only really spoken in the form of authors notes! also im not going to tag anyone so just do it if you wanna!

who is your favourite driver?

i think for anyone who has read anything i’ve ever written it’s probably a bit obvious but max verstappen! what can i say little me was told we’re supporting red bull and here was this little charmer (emphasis on little who let that child get into an F1 car)

do you have other favourite drivers?

also based on my writing you can probably tell that my top three are max, charles and oscar! however, i will also say that alex is a close fourth for me (he’s also very nice irl). also as for retired drivers i think the mamma mia series is a bit of a spoiler but i love jenson, seb and kimi

who is your least favourite driver?

i used to say i didn’t dislike anyone on the grid - that was a lie. i’ll still write for anyone within reason but you can also probably tell with how in detail the back and forth is on certain pieces that i am really not a fan of sainz, actually people who get yelled at while i write them would argue it’s more than “not really being a fan of” but i am fake and i have maintained that if i meet him at silverstone (which i very nearly did last year) ill tell him im his biggest fan! also not the biggest fan of like pierre he’s just kinda there for me and a wee bit too cringey ALSO what you may not be able to guess from how i write him… im not really a fan of lando! ive really, really tried especially after his win but he just kinda rubs me the wrong way (i was immediately proven right with the trump comments lol). people say i should pull for him cause he’s from bristol which is where i live but he’s from glastonbury babe - also ive done a few swimming competitions at the school he went to a WOAH baby has so much money.

do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

i mostly pull for drivers but like i guess i like red bull? well i did. i love max so i would follow him everywhere but i did like red bull as well as a team (i like alex, danny and checo so that also helps) but this whole protection of christian horner shtick is really disappointing so id say im a driver person.

if you like teams, who do you pull for?

like i said red bull were the team id pick if i HAD to follow a team - i support chelsea so i cant handle even more disappointment if i followed ferrari and also i only like charles there and they’re the source of all of his misfortune so …

how long have you been into F1?

so my family has always been into F1, my cousin karts and my uncle is a mechanic and makes karts on the side but i had always been more into football cause i could actually go to that with my dad - and also for young me who didn’t know what the fuck a strategy was it seemed kinda boring. but i’d say from maybe 2016ish i started watching it more regularly (hence the max stanship). my mum loves it and her first love in the sport was mark webber which is why we like red bull. but yeah i remember watching max’s first win and was like MUM I WANT THAT ONE (and i have technically met him? idk we made eye contact when his taxi nearly ran over my foot)

what got you into F1?

my mum! i love her and she’s just as much a passionate fan (and hater when appropriate) so it’s a nice thing to do together - especially because me and my dad are season ticket holders at chelsea so spend a lot of time together doing that so this is like my sport time with my mum (along with the olympics that’s our shit we’re very excited for the swimming). so i guess it was being around her watching it and listening to her and my dad argue about it! my mum is an ardent seb supporter and my dad is like a twitter account away from being in teamLH so canada 2018 (2019?) was VERY entertaining. also my uncle loves it so he likes that im proper into it (like have a sports journalism degree) and so we always chat about it - he’s trying to recruit me into motogp next

do you enjoy fanfic/RPF?

i mean i’ve written so much i must love it. lol jokes i do enjoy it and i feel like it helps me like people more (case in point: when i was trying to make myself enjoy the lando win i just read my own fics of him LOL)

but also its something fun to do that’s also creative and has helped me make new friends from all over

how do you view new fans?

ugh i hate the hate new fans get like not everyone can be born into loving a sport? if anything the more people that watch and love the sport the more money it’ll make? idk this whole superiority complex some fans have is just so unneeded for the sport and we all know why is majorly directed at girls. i do fear that some of the new fan behaviours could border on worrying - waiting outside hotels and ambushing drivers is stalking actually!

but overall im always happy to have new people in a sport - a bigger community is always good and new fans bring new perspectives which is good as older fans may just be desensitised to “normal” things in the sport but new eyes can remind them - hey halos are the best thing to happen to F1 and red flags in heavy rain are necessary.

if you could take over as any team principal for any team who would it be and why?

i know i previously dunked on ferrari but there needs to be an intervention because my girly max already has three championships and i need charles to get at least one so i can die happy - then ill move to mclaren, kick zak brown up the ass get a piastri championship and bounce (honourary race with willams or whatever team alex is with cause i need all three 2019 rookies to be race winners)

are your friends and family into F1 as well?

i feel like my other answers answered this but yeah! i also recently reconnected with an old primary school friend who is also really into it. i went to a sports uni so basically everyone there liked it as well (which means me and a friend did trek to the F1 arcade at 4am to watch aus 23 where she had a public meltdown over sainz (i enjoyed it)). also ive made a couple friends through working at races!

are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?

i always am! i am a year out of uni and working from home with all my home friends still at uni after taking gap years so i am big time lonely so always feel free to slide into my messages!

[fictionfixations]

penacony spoilers (this will mean nothing to you if you dont know it but like uh. memory zone meme? that one battle.)

what in the fuck thats freaky

ive never seen this fight im not gonna lie (ive seen the story and sunday and aventurine's but nothing else)

so wait does killing that bring him back??

WELCOME BACK YOU MADLAD 😭 how does. temporary.. death?? feel?

i keep forgetting to save skill points for the healer so my characters can ACTUALLY heal my bad

AGAIN?

what is your obsession with this man memory zone meme. like. if it was robin id understand cause thats kinda story-relevant but like...

genuinely so freaky (ive always been targetting the person itself so i dont think ive seen the follow up attack and im kind of scared to)

okay now PLEASE stop being oneshotted

no matter how much i try to build my characters it always feels like they're still that shitty team thats barely built. like. yknow the team for casual hsr players that dont spend that much time grinding cause they're more story-focused or something??

fhuisdhf iwish i had aventurine cause i feel like ive been getting into a really good groove with planning on how i should play with aventurine as like the support character (support as in im taking an aventurine from my friends lol) but also. the one thing that infuriates me is that you just. shields cant heal you. so theres just that chunk missing from the hp bar that cant be fixed until the battle ends and i go to like a space anchor (or use consumables but i forget they even exist)

but theres just something nice about not taking damage at all because the shields are taking it for you. ...but anyway shields or no id probably still get fucked over

(sometimes probably gonna comment and be like 'aCTUALLy you're getting oneshotted because you keep doing [action] when there's a symbol over it so then it triggers [so and so] and im just like. i know. but i play by ignoring the stuff that triggers the enemy to attack so like--)

okay now what am i supposed to do LMFAO (i cant tell if the eye means even if you like use your skill instead it'll trigger because ive been using basic attack when they get oneshotted. so idk maybe it doesnt matter what you do it just chooses the last person's turn basically)

(well i could trigger an ult but. so well hi im future me but if i had any ults they were probably being saved. like natasha's healing everyone ult.)

i want to scream

ended first. uh. round? is that what you call it? then it took out TWO of my team members. was prepared to yell obscenities at it but then cutscene happened so i hoped that that was it

but oh my god YOU TOOK MY HEALER??

actually. kind of off topic. i wonder what happens to aventurine's shields if he dies?? like cause the turns are counted by when it reaches that characters turn again (which no duh that means a whole turn has passed. i just remember it better describing it this way) ..but if no turn does it just. disappear?

OH

anyway 'two characters who act of their own intiative' ... you. bitch.

okay. im. gonna sacrifice robin and ratio. since i can do that i guess. (if i had to rank characters on team of 'absolutely need to keep alive or im actually fucked' then these two would be at the bottom...)

wonder if her ult just disappears if she dies

yeah ult is gone

black swan made it so much easier but oh my god i hated that (and i know im going to hate the future bosses so yayy)

no but its actually really cool to basically have allies turn on you like that. its. really really cool.

i just am not a fan of actually playing against it. im gonna be honest i hate bosses with other enemies around them cause they always end up screwing me over 😭

[thedisablednaturalist]

My parents found out about the present I bought myself for my birthday. I worked my max hours to afford it. I had it shipped to my bfs house so they wouldn't see it. Apparently I missed a receipt that was hidden in the box. Idk how they got it anyway cause I put the box out with the trash/recycling. My mom was being so cruel about it and how I keep buying myself "lavish" gifts (most stuff I buy for fun is like $10-$50 max). I always plan my purchases and have never missed a credit card payment. Most of my money goes towards doctors visits, medication, car maintenance and gas, accessibility items/ergonomic stuff, cat food and litter, and hygiene. Recently I stopped most of my subscriptions save for a cheap minecraft server. The bulk of my pay goes into savings which have really grown since I got my raise. I also give my parents $400 in rent each month. I'm trying to save up for a recliner to replace my bed but I don't want to use the money I've already put away.

Like ok, maybe I'm not mr.frugal. maybe i sometimes buy more expensive things because they're more convenient (like already cut vegetables/fruit or preprepared meals) but like my hands fucking hurt and sometimes I don't have the spoons to feed myself. Maybe I fall prey to impulse purchases once in a while. Im learning and I'm trying to learn how to budget bc now I have to also pay for insurance until I can get on medicaid.

My mom acts like I don't care. She sees amazon packages come for me and think theyre all toys or expensive skincare or junk when its actually body wipes for when I cant shower/so i dont come back from the field to the office all stinky. Its a trash can I can keep on my bedshelf so I dont throw trash onto the floor instead. Its knee braces because my knees fucking suck. Once in a while Ill see something on sale that ive been wanting for a while and will grab it. And the most expensive skincare I use is $20 for a jar that lasts me 3 months. I have to keep my skin clear or ill pick and have scabs and blood all over my face again. I spend money on drag because it MAKES me money. Last time I got paid $100 from the venue and $50 in tips. One time I got paid $300 from the venue (i dont remember how much in tips).

Im trying my best. Im working with 3 government agencies rn to get a job and get health coverage. Im working my ass off at my job when i probably shouldnt be working (my mom laughed when I mentioned this). I'm constantly doing things to earn me money or to make life a bit less painful. Even streaming is a desperate attempt to make a career/side gig out of something I enjoy and doesn't make me flare up. I only watch shows when im with my bf or when im doing chores or working. I rarely play video games. When I flare I lay in bed and scroll Tumblr or play a mindless dress up game where I only have to move my thumb. I cry almost everyday. I cry on the way to work. I cry holding my cat in so much pain i cant move.

The only big frivilous purchases I've made is the present and a new graphics card (I haven't replaced my old one in a decade). The present cost $230 and the graphics card cost $800. Both of these I saved for. I might buy a nice skirt once in a while but thats pretty much it. I also spread out big purchases over time when I can.

Am I spoiled? Maybe. Maybe my parents are right and I'm a lazy spoiled kid who just makes excuses. But my pain is real, constant, and severe.

I have friends who's birthday presents consist of trips to fucking italy or the bahamas. Who complain when their parents drag them on yet another international vacation. Some are amazing people who are grateful and work their asses off. And some of them are a bit entitled. My mom said most 26 year olds are living on their own with jobs and I fucking laughed. The only 26 year olds with their own apartments especially in my area either have 5 roommates in a 2 bedroom shithole, got lucky and have a high paying tech job, their parents pulled strings to get them hired, or their parents are paying partly or fully for their apartment.

And when i tried to find an apartment? She discouraged me and told me id never be able to afford one (correct) but now im suddenly able to when it suits her argument? Ive been heavily job hunting for over a year and got ONE interview who ghosted me after two interviews. I make $2k MAX. Rent in my area is $1700-2500 for a freaking studio. The $1700 one doesn't let you see the apartment and gets snapped up immediately. And these are all apartments within a 2 hour radius. All the "affordable housing" is for people 55 and older.

Like I literally have no options. I can't move until I get a job in that area. I can't leave the country cause Im disabled and also thats fucking expensive. My bf makes less than me and even combined we couldn't afford a place.

Literally, I've never been suicidal before. Ive never struggled with that due to my fear of death. But all of this? Ive recently had suicidal thoughts and its fucking scary. Thoughts that killing myself would make it easier for everyone else. That it would be easier to just end it, that life will always be a living hell and i should just give up. And thats fucking scary! I shouldn't have those thoughts! But that's how bad it is.

I try to do what my therapist told me. I try to set boundaries. But setting a boundary means not eating dinner bc I leave when my parents yell at me. I try to think positively and ignore the pain. I probably walk an average of 1-2 miles a day. I try and try and try and it hurts so much. They can't be proud of me? For even big victories? Guilting me about graduation cause I took too long. Keeping a job for more than a year (its not a REAL job cause its hourly and doesnt have benefits).

Like what's the point? I've been fighting and fighting and most of the world wants to see me dead and gone anyway. I'm trying to work in a field that doesn't even consider people like me. If I cant work Ill just bring my boyfriend and my family down. Every step forward I manage to take I get dragged back 10.

Im so tired and ashamed and stressed and my fucking body hurts worse now because of the stress and i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.

[boxwinebaddie]

hi uncle nina!! i hope youre doing okay! i would love a life update. i was also wondering who you think initiates more, jerseykyle or ravenstan? and thats for everything. like kisses, cuddles, and sbst 🤭

eeeee! allo, moya nonneshka! c': <3 xxxx

but before i tornado-type myself into a tizzy and lose my train of thot: thank you so SO much for checking on me, babycakes! :) MWAH!!!

like ( i'm soz ), but the fact that, oof...has it been Several Weeks Now? ( yikes! execute-ive dysfuncle nina strikes again! :/ ) where day in and day out, the only thing i've been servin y'all up is...a big, heapin bowl of: 'go on girl! Give Us NOTHING!,' -- and you were Still willing to take time out of your busy irlife to worry about mine?! tldr; Angel Behavior! heaven wants you back btw, but that's too bad; i'm keeping you. <3

also tysm for the rest of your v precious message as well, lovie~ your... press(h)age? oop...that is,, horrifYINg? ok, what about: thank for your...messcious? ur preshmesh! ya mesh, presh! ...your blessage? you know like *marj vc* your...blessed mess? ( can we tell that i spend too much gd time assisting k-garten and trying to say things like:

'wooooah there, girlpool! no need to get atatudie w/ me, jude-ring! i mean, gee, if i didn't know any better...i'd say it sounds like someone caught...A BAAAD Vibe! uh oh! cowabummer, dude! but thats ok! just be sure to grab a tissue and blow ur nose bc i didnt achoochooocaChoose the rules; i just enforce 'em, booboo kitty!' <3

kssds like...can you tell my skull tell is gettin so soft that you'll prolly be able to stick a straw thru it soon? ( can't lie tho, bbkit is my fav like *me but over it* alr! no cryin in baseball, booboo kitty! Game Time! )

but anyways! onto my life update ( ft. how i've doing for the past few weeks ) which, when i tell y'all i have been waiting for a slow-ment to come along so i can just...catch my breath and catch up, but its been

...A MESS.

sigh.

( alright, fair warning, i HAVE TO ANSWER YOU CANON HC QUES IN ANOTHER ASK BUT I KNOW THE ANSWER!!!! so i will get it done asap, my friend, but i have to seperate them...so this is just nina talks abt skool and how she's been doin...ravesey can go in diff ask. )

but anyways, in essence; i'm busy pretty much every day from 5am in the morning when i am up until probably 4-5pm everyday depending on what prep i have to work out with my lead teacher ( who is a very sweet mid forties early fifty y/old lady who always makes sure i eat breakfast ), as well as getting to and from my job site particularly towards the end of the day...which is not easy when ur a lame, boof, no driving ass bitch like me.

( which, i know talk a lot of shit on myself about it...but oddly enough; i am proud of myself for knowing my limits, valuing my comfort and being the ceo of the bus and slaying on public transport. xx )

but all this to say, i love my job! my lead teacher ( aka educ major slang for the teacher who's class you assist in ) is literally such a nice lady and she has been teaching me so much! i was having a little difficulty getting in the groove because the summer camp kinders aka the children actually taking kindergarten in the fall are pre-kinder basically so they're like...t-k or preschool, almost? which....ooooough.

( i must confess ) i have a age/limit with teaching.

and it's having to do bathroom/mommy anything.

like i’m…ur aunt/unc, your older sister, mom's sbf, but i am noooooot your mom, lol! i am not super maternal. like there was a little girl who on week one was askin for mommy ( which was already driving me NUTS ) but on week three was still doing it and crying i was like...

*me on the playground vc* hEY BATTA BATTA SWING BATTA!!! YOU WANNA GO HOME BB? ME TOO GIRL! YKNOW WHAT? IF U HIT A HOME RUN RN AND YOU CAN GO HOME OTHERWISE! nO CRYIN IN BASEBALL BOOBOO!KITTYGIRL!! STAND UP SOLDIER!!

...but yeah, idk. kindergarten/pre-k has been fun, but i'm more of an older sister-adjacent type teacher who likes to wear crazy outfits, draw you pictures even if i pop a blood vessel in my eye drawing all night bc i think its nice when the kids get excited haha, if you talk while i'm talking, i really will pretend to get my stuff and leave like 'i'm sorry, i thought you were gonna teach the class!', wear all the stickers on my face...all of them especially the really big ones,

will tell u the picture u drew for me is so much better than the baloney pizza whatev that one blue ninja turtle painted, idk, and fall to my knees like ( bonus points if i have no idea what it is ), but if you give me attitude later about putting the toys away and taking your letters out, ill pretend to EAT the sticker i was gonna put on ur work.

( uncle nina stop being a CLOWN, i cannot stop, like omfg so the other day...a TINY five old girl's jacket was brought in for this girl in my class....and tell me why i said! Oh Sorry! That's Mine! ;) AND PRETENDED TO PUT IT ON AND MODEL IT???? HEEELP. my KIDS were dYING!!! my lead teacher was lafffffin, skds. that jacketless little girl was like >:( miss nina thats My Jacket! and i was like, you know what, baby! you are so right...Mine Is Smaller. <3 KLHSLKHKLDSD )

i...did not always use to be like this. i used to be a mousy, nervous gal, who let the sweet, lovely, very loud children walk all over me...BUT! i've been around the block! aka! i've have a block thrown at my head! AND A STAPLER!!!!!! ( that was my favorite kid btw, thx, stink! )

but yeah, a soft-spoken queen in my class asked me if you just 'stop feeling anxious when you're an adult' and i was like N! O! baby! it doesn't get easier when your an adult, but in order to teach you guys things, i have to be brave enough to talk to you and try my hardest! i still get super nervous talking to new people, i get nervous when i think i put my sock on wrong...but that doesn't mean, we should give up! i think you should go right up to a new friend and tell them hi, my name is Blank and my sock feels funny. do u wanna look at it. BOOM.

but also just because...ah, jeez. very cute, the children are...but the nina i was two years ago would be picking kids markers off the floor, packing my kids backups up for them, carrying their things...no, girl. they know better than that. like i specifically have a little girl, who istg, is very stan coded because she wants to do the right thing, but she's a really bad listener, i have to tell her stuff like 749374093 times,

wants me to help her with everything because she's nervous she's gonna mess up ( which, baby i love u but i can't print every letter for you ) and wears impractical things to school, ( which i feel like stan would do...like take 749374930 light up toys and weird pens ) so you know i gotta give her the little 'girl, you can do; i believe in you' and then come back when she's done and go oKAAaY mAdaME??! MISS INDEPENDENT OVER HERE GETS TWO STICKERS FROM ME!!!!!

and conversely, we got kyle coded kids, like, i had a little girl ( my class has had a lotta girls rotate into it idk ) who was smarter than god, but my gooooodness, THAT LITTLE GIRL TRIED IT EVERYDAY! ( she’s a ken n cart too ) i popped my eye blood vessel for that lil lady! bc she RUSHED ME! but no, she was a smart cookie, so she knew that so she used to give to try and cut deals with me, or put stuff on other kids tables or whiiiine and baby, i might have been born at night but...

NOT YESTERDAY NIGHT!

she is going to dismantle whatever kindergarten class she gets put into...best of luck. she is probably going to be our president someday. her vocabulary was bigger than mine. sending light out to that girl.

but okay, i have to end this soon but...i am doing a lot! we have a different theme in my class every week: last week was dinosaurs! we did safari animals, bugs, deep sea creatures, next week....*sigh*

Is Sports. ( y....ay! )

so if i am not around...I AM PROBABLY TIRED! like i didn't want to get into it too much bc it's a lot but the week that i lead teach, like...i did not sleep for two days...i was very sick, it was very, very bad. which is not to say that's gonna happen again but...it's like, i want to post and i want to be present, but when i throw all my energy out there to the little people, i come home spent most of the time...so it's hard to get my fingers to crawl across the computer to do an ask meme or be present when i should rly cook dinner or do some dishes, yknow?

all this to SAY...i am here, but i am...There. i also took such a long break from writing, i am a little scared that i don't know...how to anymore? aaaaa??? but i think i should probably sit down and write ONE THING ONLY ( so if u have one thing u really wanna see hmu ),

i'll probably pop in to do updates every so often, maybe an hc ask a bigger ask if i finish it, but i am busy again starting monday. i will try to keep giving u an rm fun fact if i can remember, but please know, i would love to be here and i wish i could write more...but it's a lot all at once...also? i really did enjoy my break. <3 always take breaks. if i am not around, i promise i am okay! i am probably just being teacher nina, trying to better my life or i am a little tired and need a second.

either way don't be a stranger, and send me stuff any time! i am going to try and go back to answering stuff that's in there again.

-uncle teacher nina, ceo of boo boo kitty...

...girls, boys and children....

Everywhere.

p.s. i hope this wasn't too much info, haha! i hope it was fun its nice to be able to tell you guys about parts of my life! if you ever want pictures or have questions, as long as they aren't too invasive, specifically bc of my student's safety, i will answer em! <3

[ddejavvu]

ohh i have SUCH a controversial jennifer jareau opinion. and this is probably gonna be more like an essay. i wish i could say i was sorry.

everyone always says theyre anti jj slander, which is fine ofc, but just weird bc i NEVER see anyone slandering her. in my 3 years in the fandom, ive seen it happen maybe 5 times total, which sucks because she deserves so. much. more. hate.

(spoilers for *that* jeid plotline, as well as some other things)

in season 7, spencer tells her that she has mean girl vibes and she replies "i was a nice girl, especially to guys like you" which ALWAYS pissed me off because she literally just confirmed what he said? and everyone acts like it was a funny joke. she said that shit with her whole chest and meant it, and it wouldnt be *that* big of a deal if it was the only time. but shes consistently mean to him throughout the show, ignoring him, walking away, etc. spencer isnt even the only one shes like this to. and she just has a sense of superiority, idk how to describe it. just by the way she talks and interacts with those around her, you can tell. (while we're on that note, she also ignores her privileged a LOT. maybe not all the time, but theres been multiple times where she acts like she went through hell to get where she is. other than her sister passing, she had it completely easy. in terms of resources, opportunities, etc., she was basically born with a golden spoon in her mouth.)

in s14 when she confesses to spencer that shes always been in love with him, it just makes my blood boil. obviously he had been over her a long time (imo), but that was something she should've kept to herself bc it just brought alllll those feelings back to the surface. not to mention that hes the godfather of her children, and shes married, and will probably (definitely) doesnt know how she feels. thats literally emotional cheating on her part, even though reid didnt reciprocate it, it was still wrong of her to be that close to him without will knowing how she really felt.

there are other things i dont like abt her too, but those are the main things and im trying to keep this as short as possible. but i literally cant stand her, shes by far my least favorite character, and everyone acts like shes an angel sent from heaven, when really shes just a privileged bitch.

i like JJ a lot (i want her to be my mom </3) but i do agree with several of your points - she's definitely not the worst character, each and every character has a list of flaws that we could make, so this by no means makes her the worst, but it does make me angry <3

i just rewatched that 'mean girl' episode!! she doesn't even hesitate before saying 'guys like you', which, you're totally right, means he was right, and she was definitely a mean girl in high school. or even if she didn't say any of it out loud, she was still silently judging 'guys like him' and in high school you can always tells who's silently judging you. they're teenagers. they're not silent about it. the nasty looks they give you?? oh man. but i do think that the blame for ignoring spencer needs to be placed on all of the team members, because they do it all the time too, it's not just her. she has some pretty bad moments with him, but it's definitely something they all do and she shouldn't take the full blame

lmao don't talk about jeid. the writers actually deserve the death penalty for that, god it was so nasty and weird. i know that it was something she confessed in the heat of the moment, like she wasn't sure she was gonna make it out alive and didn't wanna die without saying it but ??? WHY WOULD YOU PUT IT ON HIM TO DIE THREE SECONDS AFTER FINDING OUT ??? like great it's off your chest but now he's gonna spend the (very short) rest of his life thinking about it?? AND THEN THEY DIDN'T EVEN DIE LMFAO SO HE WAS JUST STUCK WITH THAT !! and yeah!! will!! what about will!! or her kids!! it was so... writers i'm watching you...

one scene of hers that really pissed me off was in reid's kidnapping two-parter in s2 (the hankel incident) where she was almost attacked by those rabid (?) dogs and she shot them and she's obviously shaken up and she tries finding reid and realizes what happened and she feels so much guilt for splitting up with him - which was not her fault, she didn't know and should not be held responsible for what happened to him - that she started trying to make other people mad at her?? she cornered derek who was grieving and stressed at the loss of his best friend and they're both sleep deprived and she says something like 'admit it, you hate me, you think it's my fault' AND I???? GIRL. he is being so nice to you?? he was literally like oh honey if you need time off i know you're really shaken up and we can take care of this and and and AND SHE WAS LIKE oH yeah suRe just admit it i'm the worSt everybody hATEs mE- I WAS... this is not about you. go get therapy for the dog attack that you just almost suffered?? do not stand around a crime scene and pester the victim's best friend and delay the investigation because you're feeling guilty. go talk to someone about it. take a few days off. again, i totally get that she was shaken up and hopped up on adrenaline, but everyone told her to go get some rest and she was like no i think i will make myself the problem instead <3

all of that being said i still love her </3 i was not kidding when i say that i wish she was my mom holy shit i would have loved to grow up as her kid but she definitely has her flaws just like the rest of the BAU, and logical, critical breakdowns of a characters flaws aren't slandering, they're analysis, so i think everybody needs to stop shitting on people who criticize or analyze their faves lmao

send me your unpopular fandom opinions

[msm-tsotmw]

6.26.20XX

It’s Been A Day Since We Started Following This Trail Of Spiderwebs , And Uh-

… Oh .

It Ends Here … At This Crevice .

damn

it looks deep

do you think jeeos in there

Well , Since He Left A Trail That Ended Right Here , Yeah . Probably .

maybe I should go fly down to check… do you guys wanna come? I mean, I can’t just leave you two here while I go find our friend.

Yeah , You Can Take Us !

as long as you dont drop us like how you did on f

yeah, yeah, Mondo, you don’t need to mention that. now grab on, you two!

alr

Okay !

(Flitz flies up, letting Mondo and Toorie grab onto her talons. She then fucking SWOOPS down into the crevice.)

GYAAAAAAAAAAAH !

HEY BE CAREFUL

oh, uh, sorry! it’s a habit.

(Flitz eventually slows down to a slow flap, which takes… more time to get down.)

this, uhh, this is gonna take a while.

you two can talk if you want to! I’ll just keep flying down.

Oh , Okay !

alr

(The 3 Monsters exchange an awkward silence.)

… So , Mondo , How’s Your Sister ? You DID Say She Was Marrying Someone A Couple Of Months Ago !

well uhh

turns out they arent getting married until like august bcs some REAL WEIRD SHIT happened on wublin island

Wait , What Happened ?

honestly i dunno

something about the power going out

Oh No ! Wait , I Know A Thwok From There . His Name Is Pathwick . Is He Okay ?

uh

from what ive heard from zalde yeah

apparently hes on plant island with this ross guy for now

one of spriggs other friends

Oh , Ross ! He Seems To Have Always Liked That Guy .

yea

wonder if sprigg knows anything about that

Wait .

huh

Since They Spend A Lot Of Time Talking To Each Other And Being All Close And Stuff , Do You Think They’re …

Ah , Nevermind . It’s Kinda Rude To Assume Two Monsters Are Dating Because They Hang Out A Lot .

oh ok then

Well , We Spend A Lot Of Time Together And WE’RE Not Dating , Right ?

(Mondo gulps. He looks up and sees that Flitz is trying to repress a snicker.)

uh yea

we arent dating

I Mean , It’s Not That I Don’t WANT To Date You !

You’re Really Nice , And Cool , And , Uh , Yeah . I Don’t See Why Anyone Would Hate You !

uh

thanks

No Problem !

so, does that mean you wanna be his girlf-

shut up flitz

alright, alright! I will.

I Mean , I Don’t Really Wanna Be Your Girlfriend , I Just Like You But Not In THAT Way , You Know ?

alright

that kind of sounds like a confession though

Yeah , Uh-

Nevermind ! Forget What I Said .

You’re Just A Really Cool Monster !

(Mondo smiles.)

thanks

A-and Remember , That Was NOT A Confession !

got it

that was NOT a confession

oh, that was, alright.

What ?

nothing.

(The 3 Monsters continue flying down.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

like what Toorie said, this was not a confession! she just thought about how cool Mondo was and how cool it would be if a Monster were to date him lol

they MIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT actually confess in a later part?? idk

-Mod Jimmy 🗣️

[forestryfae]

man it is SO nice to find a solution to a really shit problem only for 50 other problems to happen

i am completely alone with zero support in a house i hate, doing as much housework as possible so it can be manageable both in day to day life and so its not hard to just leave when i move, and i still am not getting any help getting rid of the stuff.

i have almost no money and i have to pay to take the train to buy food or neccessities and i was dumb enough to not send a letter sooner so i dont know if ill get my money until after christmas or not, i havent bought more than one christmas gift either cus im fucking broke, and i dont feel anywhere in my body that i want to spend time making something for anyone. my brother still isnt done paying me my money back and literally hasnt talked to me since last time he asked for money, my dad hasnt fucking talked to me in ages and the one time he called in summer it was out of boredom to ask when i was gonna visit them, none of my extended relatives talk to me at all so what the fuck is the point there, and my mom is just. a fucking bitch.

i had her removed as a legal guardian, not even on purpose initially but because folkenemnda or whoever sent her a letter before i was able to have a meeting, so she ofc got fucking offended and now has decided sve cant be involved in anything. she cant call electricians, she cant help fix the house, its "too difficult" for her to have to talk to me or my new legal guardian instead of just buying stuff right away, and she told ME to get a new phone service provider. i had to fix that myself. on top of her being, once again, a useless bitch. dont touch my stuff i say, its fucking embarrassing that you have dirty laundry she implies while moving all my furniture around and doing shit to my kitchen while refusing to acknowledge its my house but still treating it like her own, and not fixing the internet again after they unplugged it.

so i have no access to internet besides my last 150 mb of phone data unless i call some guy to fix it, but they wont be here until next year most likely so its pretty much pointless, and if i buy phone data i have to pay. so if i cant get it fixed ill be literally alone for two weeks straight with no people at all around me and noone i can talk to on the internet. except for fucking. christmas. idk about new years eve. and i dont even fucking like my family, i dont even want to spend time with them, they treat me like shit.

the ac doesnt work since mom got the electricians to look at everything but never actually hired anyone to fix shit and now is completely uncooperative. and after they checked the fireplace in that control like two years ago im not allowed to use it, and mom never actually got that fixed either even though shes been in charge of absolutely everything since forever.

plus both heaters downstairs are set to 27c or max and it still is only like 17 or 19 or so, i have an entire room in the house i straight up cant use cus theres no power and no light and 17c in there and its full of stuff i asked mom to take to the thrift store for me 6 months ago. also i cant leave either heater on if im boiling water or washing dishes cus that overloads the entire fucking thing.

and its just like so much bullshit all at once and ive been spacing out for like 2 hours while writing this cus i get so frustrated and upset and angry and sad. its not fucking fair that my parents literally dont care about me, yet im expected to be fucking sociable and call and visit them and reach out. they didnt reach out to me or support me at all when i was a kid, or a teenager, or an adult, why the fuck would i want to deal with them. but if i dont go to visit them on christmas or i point out that hey. youre not really being fair or nice to me at all, hell breaks loose cus i should be more than happy with the crumbs they give me, as if theyre the best people in the world for fucking. calling once every six months or letting me celebrate a holiday with them.

like. im stuck here for 2 weeks, im broke as shit, no connection to the outside world once i use all my data, i very much am still mentally ill even if im better than before i went inpatient. but once i go back ill have to go back to work and i dont have a psychiatrist to talk to and im not on any meds i think i might need and i havent been tested for anything yet, i havent been had driving practice yet, i can barely talk to my support contact, i need a lot more help than i am being given, im not getting the help i ask for when i do ask for it, and thats on top of shit parents and a shit house and two cats i love but am not sure i can keep given the whole thing where im gone for months at a time. and i just. how the fuck am i supposed to be able to keep a job or ever move out or make friends properly or keep a new apartment or house or be mentally stable. its so much bullshit all at once wtf

[princesable]

wwait please do tell ur issues with omori if u feel like it. as a somewhat omori enjoyer (<omocat sucks) i wanna see others' opinions as well

ok on my puter here u go. im not gonna write out like. an essay im just gonna list things out in bullet points because thats easier for me so sorry if this is hard to read/understand. quick side note i've played this game around 3 times because i love showing it to people so they can get mad about it with me. i feel like this is important because ive like. actually played the game and not pulling all of this out of a cut down letsplay (also just so no one gets mad at me i pirated it) but also my memory is awful. i am planning to play it again and actively take notes so i can write something more coherent. also putting it under a read more because i didnt realize how much i had to say about this

the story sucks tbh. like its an interesting concept that could have been done in an extremely impactful way but i felt nothing. like i didnt care about mari and i didnt care about sunny because he had like. no personality outside of "silent main character everyone likes". like if you dont care about mari the whole story falls apart. it relies very heavily on you caring about the two of them which is FINE but they do a really bad job of making me actually give a shit.

hero got like fucking nothing in the story and that bothers me like. outside of sunny we should have seen how mari's death impacted him the most because. you know. THEY WERE DATING? but we never get to spend time with hero. like all he is is "the nice one" i wish we got to see. anything with him but i swear they just weren't allowed to have him express emotions that werent extremely mild or something. actually now that i think about it it feels like hero was an after thought in like. everything. his dream word ability is barely used and when it is it feels like anyone could have done it. have it literally just be that he can flip switches is stupid. you could remove hero from the game and it would impact nothing.

AUBREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY the church confrontation scene was like. GENUINELY GOOD? and then after that they just forget to do anything with her. like it pisses me off how that scene was actually good and the only part that genuinely got me to feel anything and then she just gets nothing. like her "bully" scenes are pretty good and i genuinely sympathized with her but it kind of felt like. you werent supposed to? idk if that makes sense because you totally WERE supposed to feel bad for aubrey but having the kel high fives directly after multiple scene where you make her cry felt so. fucking weird. maybe that was the point idk. aubrey's my favorite character i wish omocat knew how to write

SPEAKING OF KEL. I REALLY REALLY DONT LIKE HOW THE GAME TREATS HIM. he's supposed to be the comic relief but like. EVERY joke is either "kel is gross/stupid" or "aubrey is mean to him for no fucking reason" and it gets old really fast because he's just a kid??? like him and aubrey are just mean to each other thats their whole thing which is FINE i GUESS but its not funny?? its just incredibly mean spirited and not fair to him as a character. why couldnt he have just been silly without the game seemingly hating him for trying to have fun. like most of his moveset is based around being annoying its. its weird man idk. also the fact this is a fucking item in the game

when i got this for the first time i put my head in my fucking hands man this sucks.

Basil. basil could have been an EXTREMELY interesting character but hes just so. whiny. it gets old really fast. the final fight with him was pretty good i guess. i dont have much to say about him sadly because i just like. dont remember. nothing with him stuck with me. OH WAIT the black space bit where you repeatedly kill him in extremely gruesome ways was. kind of fucking weird. because hes 10. it was unnecessary like if you REALLY wanted the fact that sunny is trying so hard to repress anything that reminds him of what he did to be represented through basil dying you could have just done it a couple times idk. weird scene.

ok moving on from characters the art is. a lot. its very hard to tell the dream world party members apart because omocat just has really bad same fact syndrome, it doesnt help that they all have the same color palettes. speaking of color palettes why do the overworld sprites white wash kel and hero. its less noticeable with hero but like. come on man its not hard to color pick your own art

still on the art the fact everything moves is fun in concept but REALLY distracting in execution. theres been multiple fights (specifically sweetheart, the king crawler and humphrey) where i've gotten awful headaches and had to take a break because i felt sick from all the movement lol. also the animation for releasing energy does NOT help who thought making the screen shake that much was a good idea dear god. like seriously this game needs to have some kind of warning

using sweetheart as an excuse to talk about how the dream world its such a fucking slog. i UNDERSTAND the point is that sunny is doing everything in his power to not reach the truth so he creates roadblocks but oh my goddddddd its so annoying to constantly have the plot take a backseat so we can go to a wedding or go to a casino or GO IN THAT STUPID FUCKING WHALE. the fact that there is a fucking mod that removes the humphrey segment should say enough. like that part in particular was soooooo fucking bad. its so boring. the humphrey fight has THREE FUCKING PHASES. I DONT KNOW WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA BUT THEY SHOULD BE KILLED. ITS AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE

the emotion system is an interesting idea but i wish they did more with it. once you figure out that everyone has one theyre best with you stop playing with them. it stopped being fun to battle because its just make aubrey angry -> make sunny sad -> make kel happy -> have hero do fucking nothing -> hit them. idk maybe they could have had like. special emotions for boss fights?? im not sure how that'd work but i wish they added little twists every now and then to keep all the battles from feeling the same.

the real world isnt much better honestly. all the aubrey shit made me angry and the battles are so weirdly unfair its just not fun. like it doesnt penalize you for losing real world battles but its like. idk they suck. also the fact it doesnt tell you food doesnt heal you in the real world fucked me up when i first played because i was so used to the dream world i spent all my money on soda and then spent the entirety of the real world on like 1 hp i cant add spoilers on tumblr so animal harm/death and suicide warning for this next part. if you dont want to read that theres nothing else after it so youre good to just stop reading now

i dont like the black space. like i briefly went over it in the basil segment but it left such a bad taste in my mouth. especially the part where you are seemingly "forced" to cut your fucking cat open as it begs you to free it and the only way to not hurt it is to kill yourself?? ok.

speaking of which the fact the only way to leave the dream world and wake up is to kill yourself complete with a little sound effect is weird to me. idk man omori is 10 im not exactly keen on watching a child kill himself several times.

honestly the games handling of suicide is gross to me. obviously i dont think you should never talk about suicide i think its a very important topic but they way its handled in omori is almost. glorified? idk if that the right word. omori/sunny can kill himself so many times in this game and i just found that a little weird. also basil can kill himself and you can see his body just. sitting there. ok im running out of writing steam if i think of anything else i'll make another post or you have any follow up questions let me know im gonna go watch scott the woz

[hella1975]

lantern

lantern: how did you meet your best friend? what were your first impressions of each other?

i'll do irl friends for this one bc i think internet ones are pretty self-explanatory lol. ooooo idk who to pick actually bc im not really one for having 'best' friends, so im gonna put two.

the first ive told you guys how we met a couple times but idc i'll do it again bc it's my fave story. basically we're both doing economics, and last year when we were both silly scared little freshers, we went to an induction event. i spent the entire thing sat alone and out of my depth feeling TERRIFIED, and afterwards i trickled out with everyone to the refreshments, and i knew no one. it was super super intimidating when suddenly this girl comes up to me and just goes 'hi i dont know anyone here and you look nice, can i stay with you?'. low and behold, we've been friends ever since and i spent all of today with her (and the other friend im about to talk about) and i love her so so so much. my first impression of her was that she was shy and sweet and needed protecting and her first impression of me was that i was nice and approachable, which is so fucking funny bc part of the reason me and her are such good friends is bc we're both MASSIVE bitches like we're both superrrrr spiteful and hotheaded lmao

the other friend i dont know as well bc it's only these past couple WEEKS we've been properly hanging out, but me, her and the girl i just mentioned are like our own little group and they bring me so much joy bc truly they just Get me like we're all VERY similar. the way i met this girl is really complicated lmao okay. so basically i missed one of my lectures during freshers (was defo hungover) and friend 1 (that i just spoke about, from the induction event) was SO mad at me she was like rage-snapchatting me being like 'bitch get here rn i dont know anyone' and me not attending FORCED her to make friends, which she did in the form of this lad and this one girl. now we spent the whole of first year being friends with this girl, and we had some issues with her bc she's just very self-centred and doesn't really want to hear about anyone else's shit, but her FLATMATE was really really lovely. so me and friend 1 spent all of first year knowing her flatmate pretty vaguely, like we saw each other a lot and went out together a lot but it was very much 'through a mutual friend' in the form of that girl yk? but then that girl started becoming even more of a bitch and friend 1 really latched onto friend 2 (they have a lot of crossover bc they both live locally), and i very lazily just followed friend 1 until the next thing i know, me and friend 1 spend loads of time with friend 2 and hardly ever hang out with that girl anymore. like it's so sly bc we effectively stole friend 2 (her FLATMATE) off her but also she did have it coming you have to trust me on that. and yeah now it's the three of us and we're so cute and i love them. my first impression of friend 2 also happened to be accurate bc from the get-go she's just been the moral one of our trio like she's very mindful and hasn't got a mean bone in her body, so we're all good for each other i think <3

[agirldying]

*possible TW for mentions of abuse and possible sa mentions I'm not sure so just adding this to be safe*

Hey Bun,

I'm sorry I've been sending a lot of asks lately and I know I sound like a broken record but last night I had like a breakdown/breakthrough?? I guess.

Like his mom came over to spend the weekend with us and last night we were up alone talking about things and I told her everything. Like I told her about all the abuse, the physical, mental and emotional abuse. I told her about the sexual abuse as well. Idk why I did it it's like I just started talking and I couldn't stop.

She told me she believed me, she said she remembers when i had told her about it this last February but like that time I didn't really go into any details. This time I told everything. No censor no changing things around no hiding anything. I just told the whole truth and how I felt and feel about it and I can't believe she actually believed me.

Like it felt so good to tell someone in my real life what happened and what I actually went through and for them to tell me they believed me, especially with her being my mother in law.

The only thing that I would say is negative out of this is that talking about it in full detail like that brought up a lot of details that were repressed?? I don't want to say forgotten because I was able to say them so easily and recall them so well but it's like parts that I usually can't remember. I guess that was because I wasn't hiding anything from her that those details came out idk.

I told her about the money and the ads and how he calls it swinging but that I didn't want to do it and that it was rape. She told me the same thing you told me that it was trafficking. I couldn't believe the words. She told me "he sold you to those men online, you could've died or caught some type of disease. That was so dangerous". Like just the weight of her words like the fact that she understands how serious that was it relieved me but also just broke me. Like hearing someone say he sold me just broke my heart all over again.

Like this is the first time ever that ive told someone in my real life who wasn't him so I didn't have to defend myself. I didn't have to hide how it makes me feel. I didn't have to fight about it or pretend it wasn't a big deal. And it hurt. It hurt for her to say that it was sexual abuse. It hurt to hear her say it was rape. It hurt to admit that the man I loved the most sold me to men I didn't know to be used. It hurt to admit that those things you read about or see on TV happened to me.

I think I've been going through like an episode of sorts the last few days especially but maybe it's been longer like a few weeks? I've just been having flashbacks so intensely and last night really triggered some new ones for me that I wasn't seeing before. I assume it's because I talked about it in so much detail but it felt good to actually tell someone who seems like they care.

She didn't tell me it was my fault she told me her son was sick, that it was a disgusting thing to do and that he didn't love me enough to protect me.

I guess really the hardest part for me is admitting I'm a victim of sex trafficking. Idk the weight of those words weighs so heavy on my mind it makes me sick. It makes me wish it never happened I just wish it would go away but it won't because it was the truth. It hurts me to know that I was sold to someone. That my body was worth a dollar amount, and sometimes not even that much.

I'm sorry this is really heavy and bad Bun, I think I really just like triggered myself. Maybe I re-traumatized myself by talking about what happened so vividly idk what happened. Its just like hurting again like it just happened all over again and all I wanted to do was be heard.

Anyway thank you so much for reading as always and thank you so much for your kindness and support. I hope you're doing okay.

Hey dying-weeds,

Please never apologize for sending me asks, that's what my inbox is intended for and it's nice to hear from you.

I know it was really rough but I think it's ultimately a good thing that you told her and that she was accepting about it. I'm so glad that she supports and believes you, I think it's so important for you to have someone like that in your life right now.

I can definitely understand how it's painful to be told that you're a sex trafficking survivor, among other things. But I think that there's some level of power in having a name for it, and also being able to identify it so that you can process it. But that's obviously at your own pace.

I think a lot of these traumas are still very fresh for you so it makes sense that it was very triggering to talk about the details with her. Please practice self-care during this time, drink plenty of water, rest, maybe have a bubble bath or something relaxing that you can enjoy. You've been through so much and you deserve some time to recover.

I hope I could help. I'm here if you want to comment on this or if you need to talk in the future. Thank you for the kind words and yes I am doing okay, thank you for asking.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Sissi — Schicksalsjahre einer Kaiserin (1957) [Sissi — Fateful Years of an Empress]

This was a good one! I was worried that it would end with Elisabeth's assassination and that I would have trouble writing a review in light of a certain unprecedented event which completely threw me off my groove, but it didnt, so that was good i guess

The plot was pretty all over the place, it starts with Elisabeth hanging out in Hungary with Gyula Andrássy and asking him to invite Count Batthyani (who swore to never give the imperial family the time of day because the emperor gave the order to execute his father) to his house so that she can talk to him on neutral ground and make peace with him. And she does! Kind of? Idk, she starts having some weird pains so she returns to Vienna pretty much immediately after that to have a doctor check up on her. Turns out that she has some kind of lung disease, oh nooooo, the doctor advises her to go to Madeira, both because she needs a change of air to help with her disease but also because she's contagious and should be away from Franz Joseph and her daughter. In Madeira, she spends the first weeks being depressed and not getting any better but then Ludovika comes by to cheer her up and get her moving again and they travel a bit and Elisabeth ends up making a full recovery. When Franz Joseph hears about this, he obviously wants to go to her as quickly as possible, he wants to meet her in Venice but his advisors are like "You need a political reason to go to Venice because shits been going and all of italy hates us and if you go there just for personal reasons, something bad might happen", so they decide to hold an opera gala with a big reception in Milan and they invite a bunch of italian nobles. But uh-oh, the italian nobles dont like austria so they all passive-agressively send their servants over in their stead and then to add insult to injury, the orchestra and singers start performing some opera-song about freedom and all the servants in the audience join in. But Elisabeth claps anyway, either showing that their attempt to insult just slid right off her or that she's supporting them, Im not really sure. At the reception, she and Franz Joseph passive-aggressively receive all the servants as though theyre the actual nobility, I dont know how this is helping them politically. But whatever, later on they get on a boat and drive (? whats the word you use for boats) to a church to meet the pope, but there are no adoring citizens cheering for them on their way, its a complete ghost town and the few people that are there just glare at them, so thats really humiliating. But then they arrive at the church and Elisabeth's daughter runs up to greet her after all these months/maybe years and all the people standing next to the church cheer and the pope loves her so its all good.

So that was a pretty underwhelming finale, both to the trilogy and just this film as a standalone. Like, the previous films both ended on these big victories ignore the fact that the wedding did not feel like a victory when I saw it that felt like they mattered and had been built up, but I think the troubles with Italy only got brought up like 25 minutes before the end so I found it hard to care about all that.

But idk, I still liked it overall, although writing out a summary of the plot really made me realize how messy it is. Honestly, I find it kinda hard to describe what exactly I even liked about this film specifically that isnt just all the stuff I liked about the previous ones (the acting, the sets, the costuming etc). I think Ive just gotten to a point where Im attached enough to (this version of) Elisabeth that Im pretty much fine with just watching her do whatever

I mean, I guess I liked that they softened Sophie for this one, I mean she's still strict with that everything-for-the-dynasty mindset but shes not actively causing problems with Elisabeth so that was kinda nice.

Actually, that reminds me of a scene that I really liked, it might be favorite in the film (although it does have some serious competition that I'll tell you about later). So, when Elisabeth comes back to Vienna after being in Hungary and she gets exhamined by the doctor, he doesnt actually tell her whats going on because its a really serious lung disease and he thinks she might not survive until the next year, but he does tell Sophie. Elisabeth finds out about this when she's allowed to get out of bed for an hour and decides to surprise Franz Joseph in his office at the exact moment Sophie decided to tell him about her condition, so she overhears everything including Sophie being like "yknow, since the empress is probably gonna die pretty soon and she hasnt produced an heir, we might wanna start looking into other women" which is so fucked up. But anyway, Franz Joseph sends her away and once he's alone he buries his head in his hands and starts crying, and he lets out such wonderfully pathetic little sobs it made me giggle and kick my feet. sighs dreamily. Men Suffering <3 (I mean that in a pervert way, not a terf way)

Then Elisabeth goes up to him and comforts him (shes using a different, hidden door than the one Sophie left through) and I liked that too, he doesnt hear her so he doesnt notice her approaching until she's already right next to him and gently puts a hand on his head, and it makes him kinda freeze up for a moment before he wipes away his tears and looks up to see that its Elisabeth, and hes still shocked for a moment and asks her how much she heard and she's like "I think Ive heard everything I had to hear" and then they hug and oughhhhhhh its a good scene. 10/10

Now, that other scene that I really like is one I like for how fucking insane it is. Its at the very start of the film, Elisabeth, Gyula and a bunch of his guys are doing a horserace and after being in the lead for a while, Elisabeth and Gyula lose the track and they basically just decide to give up and wander around together instead of joining back with the others. They walk and talk about how much they love hungary until they stumble upon a Romani camp where she hears a woman whos being beaten up by her husband cry for help. She walks up to them, yells at him and pushes him pretty hard and I think the husband slaps her in retaliation but Im not entirely sure. She definitely hits him with her riding crop and then the woman pours a bucket of water over, at which point Gyula finally intervenes and goes "HEY this is the queen of hungary". The woman and her husband both profusely apologize while Elisabeth just kinda laughs it off and walks away and as she's walking away, the husband starts beating the woman again.

Honestly, I dont think my description of that scene truly conveys how insane actually watching it was, it happens so suddenly and goes by so quickly, I literally yelped when the woman poured the bucket of water on her, a true roller coaster of emotion. That being said, as I was writing that down I realized that I felt weird saying that my favorite scene in this film is the one making a joke out of domestic violence, so I officially declare the other scene my favorite

And yeah, that's pretty much it for this one. It's a pretty flawed film but I liked it and I had a pretty good time watching it, I actually didnt feel any of that dread while watching (I mean, I was a little anxious because of the assassination-thing but I forgot about that pretty quickly). If I had to rank this trilogy from worst to best, the order would be: first film, third film, second film

[autisticbillpotts]

dont want to be a human with a job, dont want to sleep, want to think about fictional characters

idk if tbs is going to end up having the sticking power in my head for me to consider it a special interest but hoo boy am I thinking about nothing else right now ! like uh to the point Ive had to stop myself a couple times cause I realised I was getting so intense about it I was driving towards a panic attack lol ✌️

torn completely between actual thoughtful analysis and just being like :3 caleb drinks green tea with honey + has anger issues hes just like me fr

but also it makes me insane Ive been thinking a LOT about how the characters treat damien especially in contrast to how rose and caleb also having manipulative abilities is percieved like its the whole thing about only respecting neurodivergent people if theyre nicey-likable-personable. rose immediately ditching damien even though he doesnt even have his powers anymore simply on the word of strangers is completely fucking mental to meeee every time joan calls someone a psychopath I get sooo mad like what! shes a therapist.. BUT ALSO deeply compelling fucked up way for people to behave and like I get it but also! I get him! I want to be his friend. also helens

Ive genuinely been enjoying tct less than the main show because there are noooooo women in it. despite the fact that I just did a caleb-eps-only relisten and that hes my favourite little guy and it does make me dizzy levels of giddy. but theres no women! complete turnaround from the immensely invigorating fucked up dynamic in tama between sam/joan/helen/anabelle that shit was SO good. even if I did spend the whole thing waiting for them to acknowledge that It Was All Joans Fault cause that would have made it all extra fucked up. SO much fun listening to variously traumatised and stressed out women play mind games and fuck each other over love that.

okay new train of thought I have not been able to stop thinking about caleb + perception since I started listening which ffjdjv was only a month ago whoop. but the way he sees himself vs how strangers vs his friends see him (and then now Im thinking about how thats changed in tct which I am actually not finished with yet) but like! loner who avoids parties and doesnt have any friends vs star athlete vs literal empath vs Meathead vs the big brother vs how adam talks about him vs Jock vs Nice Young Man vs ARGH I love him

also I love joan. shes soooo fun and also hot like hi dr bright r u single I like ur morals warped by recieving the approval youve sought ur entire life and ur single minded dedication to protecting people + inability to prioritise around that devotion. I like when she is catty and mean with people and ALSO when she is being very silly and smart. teasing sam and the balance in her relationship with vanessa and also the uh zachvalenticharacter episode. and her rage. LOVE her rage. and that shes silly and obsessive and scientifically minded and likes musicals and puzzles and how hard it is for her to turn off therapist brain. shes so so good I like when she does bad things because she Just Wants To Help but forgets other people are people when shes too focused on something.

my brains stopped working now Im stopping this post here. at some point I will become capable of eloquence Im sure

actually no do you hear me damien cant trust any interaction he has with another person do you hear me!!! hragh