#shes really pretty so i think ill keep her but i really wish you could just buy the chair seperatly since i dont like barbies

[fangelicawynter]

Buying a whole doll I don't want just so I can get a pink wheelchair to give to one of my draculauras 🙄😩

[absentlyabbie]

i'll tell you what converted me to being all-in on keeping cats indoors only:

living for a year and a half in a rural area with a sudden feral cat colony explosion on the property.

i moved in with my folks for a bit and at that time, one (1) stray cat mama had taken up residence on the property, but was too feral to let my mother anywhere near her. but especially after she brought three kittens around, mom fed her and the kittens in hopes they'd grow trusting enough she could catch for spay and neuter at the minimum. momcat stayed mean and hella wary, but the kittens would hang around a little nearer and play with my mom via long stick, but still wouldn't come close enough to touch or catch.

unfortunately, two of the three kittens were girls and started having kittens of their own before further progress was made, shortly after i moved in. and that was pretty much instant doom.

there were so many kittens. SO MANY. multiple litters. every time we turned around, more kittens.

we fed them. we hunted for and located the kittens every time anywhere on the property and would move them to a repurposed doghouse anytime a mama cat had them somewhere else, so that they could grow up human-socialized and we could spay/neuter them when they were old enough. (also it was a handy tactic to push the issue of the mamas getting more used to/trusting of us themselves. only really worked with one of them, though.)

and we watched them die.

we watched litter after litter of kittens never make it to the age they could be spayed or neutered. the moms stayed, for the longest time, too skittish to more than briefly touch, much less catch and crate for a vet visit.

it sounds like a silly joke to say i have kitten-related ptsd, but i absolutely do.

too many goddamn times i'd walk out of the garage and find the carport and gravel drive strewn with tiny bodies. others simply went missing, never to be found.

one in particular, i wish i hadn't found, and the visual literally haunts me still, almost a decade later.

i saw so many kittens die of snake bite, spider bite, wild dogs, birds of prey, hit by cars, respiratory illness, covered in fleas and eyes crusted with infection.

and we loved them all. scrimped for antibiotics if the vet could be convinced to give it to us despite our being unable to bring them in. bought flea collars and ointments. we cared for them and fed them and petted them and played with them, brushed their fur and cleaned up their little faces, put ice in their water in hot summer, rigged a heating lamp in their house in the winter.

and they died. horribly. that property is pocked with unmarked graves of kittens and cats.

all the best intentions, not enough resources, and it didn't matter anyways because the population went from three to almost twenty (at times, over thirty) in the blink of an eye.

they died and died and died. our hearts broke over and over again. the stress and anxiety wore us down like sandpaper. i think, by the end of it all, we managed to find less than 10 of them all homes, including batman the disabled kitten i found a home across the country through tumblr.

it was carnage and tragedy, frankly. and we were helpless.

it only ended because they started dying faster than they could be born, and because we finally caught the two remaining mom cats in traps and got them spayed.

the points about outdoor cats being invasive predators devastating to local wildlife populations is true and valid and important.

but i know cat people, and cat people who don't know better than to let cats outdoors. what matters to you is the cat itself, generally. the cat being happy and taken care of.

keeping cats outdoors, letting them outdoors, is not taking care of the cats. it's not protecting them. it's not giving them any happiness or invigoration that couldn't be provided to them as indoor-only pets with just a little research and effort.

they die. they get ill. they get hurt. they're at risk of predators, and cars, and disease, and carelessly cruel children and deliberately cruel adults. they're at risk of disappearing on you because someone else saw a cat outdoors and intervened to give it a better, safer life not in conflict with the local environment.

and if that offends and angers you that someone would just take a cat they saw roaming outdoors, even collared, and that it sounds like i'm endorsing that, i am, but not if you intervene and be that person yourself for your own cat.

if what matters to you is doing right by your cat because it's family and a living creature whose happiness and health and safety is important to you,

keep them indoors. not part time. always. exclusively.

edit: since apparently i need to clarify this, i'm saying cats should live inside, that they should not live outdoors, even part time. visiting the outdoors supervised on a leash or in an enclosed catio is not the same as even part-time living outside, and i am certainly not advocating against it.

[winterbuckwild]

@flowercrowngods So sorry...

"Hey Robin, I think we have been missing each other, been a while. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Hope you are having a great day. Guess ill..er...catch you later."

It had been nearly a year since he'd actually spoken to Robin. She'd gone to college across the country, so excited to finally get away from Hawkins; away from all the drama and trauma and pain, and Steve couldn't fault her for it. She was smart she had a dream and she was following it. And he loved that for her.

The phone calls started at a few times a week. Quick ones because they were both pretty broke, but it quickly became once a week when classes started. Every fortnight during exam season, and then an elaborate game of phone tag for a good three months when his shifts and her classes didn't match up.

Around month 7 he had sort of...given up. It had made him feel like a bit of a stalker in the end, his three phone calls to every one of hers, leaving shorter and shorter messages on her machine. He still wanted to talk to her every day, to tell her about the good things that had started happening to him.

How he'd gone to the library to figure out a sink issue and was too broke for a plumber and found out that he was pretty good with his hands. That he'd enrolled in trade school and was excelling. That he liked someone and he thinks it could be serious.

That the person he liked was a guy and that he was kinda scared and kinda excited and wanted someone to talk to about it. That the guy was Eddie of all people.

He wanted to gush about Eddie the way she used to with Vickie. That his hair was soft and his eyes were soft and his hands when he touched Steve were perfect and kind while his dimpled grin was wicked and promising. That Eddie was brave as fuck making the first move and patient with Steve's minor freak out that he was going through alone.

Eddie had helped him instead.

So it had been three months since Steve had tried calling, and he hadn't had a single message. No calls that he knew about and his machine worked fine. His number hadn't changed. He left the message as closure really, leaving a space in his heart for the friendship that changed him for the better, a friendship that he would always be grateful for. That he would always cherish.

But he couldn't keep waiting around, banging his head against that brick wall. He would always be there if she needed him but, well, she didn't really, did she? Not anymore.

He hung up the phone and grabbed his van keys. He'd traded in the beemer a month ago since he would need the space for tools eventually and it was like shedding that last little part of King Steve. The final nail in that coffin and he felt an odd sense of relief.

He was meeting Eddie before class, they were going to grab some lunch beforehand and then after come back and start packing up the apartment. Steve was moving in with him and he couldn't be more excited about it. He'd told Eddie that and the other man had beamed at him, just as pleased.

He didn't think about not having anyone else to tell.

[signedeclipse]

r u taking requests 🥲? if u are can I ask for headcannons on muichiro, obanai, giyuu and shinobu x reader on what they would do if the reader is really tired and a huge sleepy head in general it would be so cute <333

Giyuu | Muichiro | Obanai | Shinobu [X Reader]

In which their s/o is always exhausted and has a hard time staying awake.

Giyuu

He himself was never a very high energy or high demand individual

But next to you, he looked like a kid during their first sugar rush

You were always either leaning him or tucked away on the most comfortable surface nearby, dozing off

No, you weren't apart of the corps, so he didn't have any reason to force you up

You had your own job and you did it when you had to, and when he was away he would always come back to a clean house with all the chores done, along with you napping in bed

To be fair, Giyuu just assumes this is normal

I mean, he would do the same if he could, but he had a lot of duties and training to tend to

He loves cuddling up with you though, you keep the bed nice and warm for him

Muichiro

Muichiro isn't really sleepy, but he does gaze off extremely often

You are both totally lost together, because he just found out the wind makes noise and you were half asleep on the floor

If you were in the corps, you'd never be sent on missions together because somehow together the effects are worse on one another

You do get your missions done when together, it just means less details are remembered and those can be extremely vital

When home, Muichiro makes you lay your head in his lap wherever he goes- usually outside- while he stares at something of interest and just thinks

One thing he does often is speak his thoughts out loud around you, because he knows you won't take it too seriously or make fun of the nonsensical things he comes up with

Sometimes he just stares at you, and wonders what you're dreaming about

When you wake up he tries to guess, he is only getting more accurate!

Obanai

It's not that he is very energetic, but Obanai likes to do small, menial tasks to keep himself occupied

It might be tending to Kaburamaru, small exercises, or renewing his bandages

He refuses to sit down, and even if he does, he will be working on polishing his blade, or eating a meal

For this, he makes you move a lot to wherever he is if he is home

Sleeping is something you do a lot, he knows you're always tired if you don't, so he doesn't want to force you awake or make you feel bad for it

Instead he just wants you to follow him when he moved to another area, and you can sleep there until he moves on again

It keeps you somewhat active, but also brings him comfort in knowing you'll still be there, even if silent and often unmoving

Shinobu

You were very comfortable to be around considering you were mostly silent or spoke in a melancholic tone

Since she was always studying or tending to others, it helped her plenty having someone like that around

Someone who would watch over her and encourage her to be productive while not distracting her from her work too much

But as a doctor, she also understood that if you stayed still in the comfort of the mansion too often, you might become deficient in important vitamins

" You have to go outside once a day, dear! It's not good for you to stay like this all day! "

She says it like it's fact, and she's probably right

So long as you go out once a day for a small walk she is happy

Set up a hammock on the porch of the butterfly mansion where you can sleep in the sun rays, so you get all the vitamins you need even while asleep

If she has a young slayer alone in any of the healing wards, she will ask you to sleep there so they feel better with company

Even if you are tired, she knows you'll get up to help someone who might need something or is becoming ill

Authors Note - Me too reader I love sleepin,,, I hope I was able to right up to your wishes, and thank you so much for requesting! This was pretty much all my most favourite hashira lol

[sicbaby]

sended this to another acc i really like but ill send this here too :p

vendetta!leon with the biggest corruption kink ever and the girl (reader) that lives in the house just next to his, that always make sure to wish him to "have a good day" when she sees him and gets all red when he says it back, that when she bakes something she always make sure to save some to give it to him, and she tries to have a "friendship" with him so bad but he always seems to ignore her

and he does tries to ignore her because he knows he is def not a good man, he knows it so he always try to show to her that he is not a person, but shes just too stupid to realize that to the point that it makes him a little annoyed and worried for her, it still makes him hard lol

i love vendetta leon cause let’s be real he’s the biggest piece of shit alive and he’s an alcoholic so added bonus! i fantasize about him treating me like shit… anyways.

i imagine reader being a bit of a bimbo of some sort. like so dumb in the brain that there’s absolutely no room for sad or depressing or actual real thoughts that would ruin her day. and leon’s the exact opposite. all he thinks about is sad, fucked up shit that would probably make you vomit on the spot. but he likes that about you, your innocence. it makes him a bit sick, realizing he wants to do nothing but take advantage of you and expose you to the dark thoughts he has.

he can’t deny you’re sexy. those short skirts and low cut tops that have your breasts practically spilling out when you wave good morning to him. the crush you have on him is so painfully obvious. leon isn’t used to that. are you his type? not exactly. but he thinks he could have some fun with you.

he doesn’t start getting annoyed until you start leaving shit on his porch. cute notes, food items, weird love letters that look like a middle schooler made them with cute stickers and heart doodles all over. he’s a grown ass adult for christ sake. he rips up the letters, leaves the remnants on the porch for you to see.

you do see it, makes your heart wrench. yet you keep trying. you really, really like him.

in one last attempt at trying to get his full attention, you take over some food to his house, not just leaving it on the porch this time.

leon answers the door with a scowl on his face. he sees the food and your hopeful smile. “come in.” he grumbles, no greeting necessary. it ticks him a bit that you genuinely think you could win him over this way. your heart flutters as you walk in, taking in his messy house, setting the food down on the counter.

“you know, sweetheart. i’m not an easy man to please. yet, here you are…” he trails off.

you’re so nervous, face burning and throat so dry you feel like throwing up. “i-i just.. wanted to be a good neighbor, you know?”

“bullshit.” he responds quickly, makes you flinch slightly. he couldn’t help himself.

“a good neighbor,” he repeats, a dark chuckle following it. “is that really what you think? you think leaving me food and love letters makes you some kind of saint? don’t kid yourself, sweetheart. this isn’t about being a good neighbor. it’s about you wanting something from me. something you can’t seem to get through that empty, pretty little head of yours.”

he enjoys watching your facial expressions. your smile faltering, face turning into uncertainty. he knows he has the power to turn you into anything he wanted. it was too easy. he called you pretty, though!

“you think i’m some prize, some object to be won, don’t you?” he continues. you’re stunned, mouth open slightly, wanting to interject but nothing comes out.

“relax,” he chuckles. “i’ll let you have me. but i want something from you, first.” he says, inching closer to you, trapping you against the counter. his words were not a promise, merely a trick to get you to give yourself up to him. but he probably didn’t even have to “trick you.” one word and you’d be on his knees for him, wouldn’t you?

you nod eagerly, just as predicted. god, it makes him laugh, it makes him hard. how’d he get so lucky? you didn’t even put up a fight. “anything. i’ll do anything.”

those words triggered something in his brain. and you had absolutely no idea what he was going to do to you. he grabs you by the wrist roughly, leading you to his dark bedroom, throwing you on the bed. he starts degrading you, calling you “slut” and commands you to address him as “sir,” or maybe even “master.” (he’s a sick fuck let’s be real, wants you to be his dumb little pet.)

he could see the flicker of uncertainty in your eyes, but you both know you had already given yourself up to him. but that didn’t really matter to him anyway.

he crawls over you, pinning your arms up above your head, kissing at your neck. you could smell the alcohol on his breath as he did so. it made your stomach churn but made your panties wet.

he continues to practically rip your clothes off, muttering things along the lines of “you’re mine now,” “such a pretty little slut,” etc,. every single movement he makes is rough. including spanking, choking, unleashing all his pent up anger, his darkest desires onto you. your pleasure comes second to his.

you’re completely at his mercy, almost like a toy to him. but you like him so much, so you let him :(. you just wanna be his dumb girl.

he ends up fucking you in every single position until you’re a drooling, senseless mess.

not only were you his dumb girl, but you were his slut, his toy, his possession. and in the end, that’s all that mattered to you. at least now, you were finally his.

[ugotcooneycrossed]

if i find you in this lifetime (it better be the right time)

alessia russo x reader

w/c: ~1.8k

part 3 of 'what can i do'

pt1: what can i do / pt2: so you feel it too?

a/n: girlie pop decided to break hearts so im mending them- enjoy😭

------------------------------------------------------------

Watching her leave hurts- it’s a deep aching that settles low in your stomach and pushes up into your chest and you suddenly feel ill- like you can’t breathe without her here.

The thought that you’ve lost Alessia forever- your person- your sun, stars, and moon- your world. It’s enough to send a wave of nausea all over you again.

It’s not her leaving that hurts, no- what hurts more, is the silence that comes after- it’s radio silent between you two for a while.

In all your time knowing her, you’ve never not talked to each other- whether it be a quick good morning text, or a long conversation during nights before games, where you’re both too nervous to sleep. You always talk.

But now? Now, you’re too afraid to text her to ask if she’s okay, or that you’re sorry and you wish you could take it all back, that you never should have said anything. Because you would rather keep on lying than tell her the truth.

You give her the time she asks for- you wait for her to text you first. She doesn’t though.

Not a single call, text, voice memo- hell, you’d take a letter in the mail at this point- but nothing ever comes.

Suddenly it feels like you’re thirteen again- just having confessed to your best friend you found girls pretty- and then experiencing the most soul shattering heartbreak a thirteen-year-old can feel.

This time though- it feels about ten times as worse.

Knowing she had loved you too- knowing that she was just waiting for you to say something.

You wish you would’ve said something sooner- or nothing at all, you don’t know anymore.

You can’t think. You can’t feel- without her.

When you think of Alessia you’re reminded of home- it’s the only way you can explain it.

The way her smile send a wave a warmth through your body- till you feel your heart swells with love.

The way her touch causes your skin to heat up- goose-bumps trailing after her fingertips.

Maybe it's the way Alessia always seems to catch your eye in a crowded room. Maybe, it's the way she always personally seeks you out in a crowd. Maybe even, it's the way she gently links your arms together- no matter where, or how far you're walking.

Maybe it's just her.

Something about her makes you crazy- it makes your heart beat a thousand times faster, and stop in your chest all at the same time.

She’s your everything.

You can only hope that you’re hers too

She’s your everything.

And now you have nothing.

-

Your saving grace comes in the form of Ella- and not Leah and it leaves you confused, if not a bit hopeful.

I mean if her best friend’s coming to speak to you, it might be something good.

“Hey (y/n).”

Ella on her part- doesn’t let any emotions show, her voice is even and she looks at her feet when she speaks.

“Um hey Ella. How’s-“

“She’s fine. Can I come in?”

You step aside to let her in- looking behind her, craning your neck in hopes that Alessia just might be lurking somewhere behind her.

She’s not.

“Look- I just came here to tell you that she’s fine, she just needs more time.”

“More time? I mean, how much more are we talking, I feel like I’m drowning here Tooney.”

“How do you think she feels?” 

You swallow down the lump in your throat- stepping away from the other girl. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest and you want to curl up and scream.

“Right.”

It’s the only word you can muster, and you whisper it- looking down at the ground to avoid Ella’s eyes.

Ella looks around your apartment and suddenly you feel insecure- there’s tissues scattered everywhere and probably a concerning amount of take out boxes piled in the kitchen.

“Just some advice yeah? Talk to her- well, let her talk first, but just talk to her. I shouldn’t really be saying anything but, she loves you, and I know you love her too.”

“Thanks, Tooney.”

 “Yeah of course.”

Ella nods her head at you, and shuffles closer to your front door- she keeps her hand on the handle and you watch an internal battle play out on her face.

“Maybe give her a call?”

Ella leaves after that.

You’re left alone in your apartment once again- but instead of a deep heart ache that settles in your chest, it’s a glimmer of hope.

-

You don’t call Alessia- you put off the task for a while, still too nervous to even look at her caller ID without panicking.

Instead, you focus on cleaning your apartment- getting rid of the tissues and take away boxes, you’re just glad Tooney couldn’t see in your fridge, if she did, she would’ve seen the extra dessert you ordered Alessia- her favourite from the place you always order from when she comes ‘round.

You know- just in case.

The sun has long gone down by the time you’re done cleaning and you settle into bed after- only now looking at your phone.

Missed Call from ‘lessi love’

Your heart sinks in your chest and you drop your phone in your panic to call her back. All this time waiting for anything and you miss her call by three minutes. Idiot! You open the phone app and your finger hovers over the call button- should you? What if she’s mad, you missed her call?

In your time spiralling over what to do. You get a text from her shortly after.

lessi love to ‘You’

-> hey- I know you’re probably busy and want nothing to do with me anymore, but I’d really like to talk

You to ‘lessi love’

-> lessi I would love to talk

lessi love to ‘You’

-> mine? tomorrow?

You to ‘lessi love’

-> i’ll be there

-

You’re scared of a lot of things in this life.

Spiders.

Snakes.

Birds flying at you when you walk under trees.

And the one girl you’ve truly loved in this world not loving you back.

You’ve had some pretty tough days- and Alessia, has stuck by your side through them all.

She’s been there when you were at your lowest- she’s been there even on the worst kind of days.

The worst day though? Was watching her walk out of your apartment crying.

A million scenarios ran through your head- but her leaving? It never crossed your mind.  

Because how dare you love her- the way she deserves to be loved.

It sounds ridiculous to be so enthralled by someone- so hypnotised by just one person.

You know.

You’ve come to terms with it now though- even if Alessia decides she doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.

You’d be okay with that.

You have had the time of your life with her, and you cannot possibly wait your whole life for her- no matter how tempting that sounds.

 -

You feel like a creep- pacing outside Alessia’s apartment, you wipe your hands nervously on your pants and smooth your hair out over again and again.

You must look like a complete and utter fool right now.

The door swings open and you stumble over your feet to stand still.

Alessia looks- well, she looks tired, she’s got bags under her eyes and when she speaks, her voice is hoarse.

“Hey (y/n).”

“Hi Lessi.”

You whisper- eyes softening and face warming up again.

Your resolve to ‘play it cool’ disappears and your chest fills with anxiety again.

You both stand apart from each other- just staring at one another.

Alessia raises her arms up and takes a small step forward.

“Can I have a hug? Please?”

Alessia’s voice cracks and she sounds like she wants to cry again- you must take a while to respond because you watch her face fall, and arms slowly drop again.

Before you can think you dive towards the other girl- arms slotting right under her arms and gripping her shoulders. Her strong arms find their home on you, and she wraps her arms around you.

You both stand in her doorway- just hugging, holding each other so tight.

“I missed you so, so much.”

Alessia whispers into you, and you feel tears wet your neck- you sniffle, tears now rolling down your face too.

“I missed you too­- so, so much, I was going crazy without you.”

“We should probably go inside.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you make a move to leave and it sends Alessia giggling.

You smile- missing her laugh.

“Okay seriously- let’s go inside.”

Alessia pulls out of the hug first- grabbing your hand instinctively and leading you inside. She pulls you gently to her couch and pushes you down to sit.

Alessia sits tentatively next to you.

A thick silence falls between you and you suck in a breath.

“I-“

You laugh again- both trying to speak at the same time.

“Let me go first- please.”

You nod at her, closing your eyes.

“Look- I’m sorry I completely ignored you for a week. I just- I really needed to think. (y/n)- I think, I think I have always loved you, it just took me a while to get it. And when I did I was scared- like so, so scared. I never wanted to lose you. So, I just pretended. And waited, and waited for you to say something- but you never did. I waited for your love- but the more I waited, the more unattainable you seemed. I tried to forget about you I swear- I love you so much and I never wanted to lose you. I’d rather be just your friend than anything else.”

You reach out to hold her hand- and she gladly accepts.

“Less- I have loved you since the moment I met you, you’re the most important person in my life. I thought you were happy with him- so I never wanted to ruin that for you. I’m in love with everything about you. This week has been the worst week of my life. I never want to go without you again. You’re my everything, I have never loved anyone the way I love you­- I don’t want us to just be friends.”

You’re panting now- chest heaving.

Alessia smiles at you and links your pinkies together.

“You’re my person too- you’re the only one who understands.”

“Does this make us girlfriends?”

“I hope you’re going to ask me properly (y/n).”

“Right. Alessia Russo, will you be my girlfriend?”

You make a dramatic show of getting down on one knee and holding her hand- one hand over your heart, smiling like a lunatic.

“Of course, you weirdo.”

-

“I kind of want desert- you know, from that place I like.”

“Umm we should go back to mine then- I missed you so much that I ordered one every night- in case you’d show up, there’s still one in the fridge.”

[katherinearandez]

I don’t think Tessa is one of the good guys

I have a lot of questions about Tessa. What are her goals? Is she really on copper 9 for the reasons she told us in episode 6? Does she have hidden motives, and if so, what are they???

The lines of “morality” in this show are super squiggly, so by “good guy”, I mean an individual with positive or helpful intent toward the main characters - in this case, drones. The concept of Tessa bearing ill-intent for drones as a ‘species’ seemed contradictory at first: after all, she’s so nice to N, V and J, right? We’re talking about someone who, as a kid, saved zombie drones from the dump(cough, mass grave, cough) where their human owners left them to rot after creating them by means of improper disposal. Why would she want to kill drones? Especially in the same callous, procedurally improper ways that created the threat of Cyn to start out with?

Well…

Let’s not forget about the evil AI that massacred her family and the guests of their gala. AFTER Tessa took her in as an act of kindness, against her parents wishes. Parents who did seem to look down on her pretty severely, regularly chained her up in her room as punishment(you don’t install heavy duty, floor anchored chains for the occasional time out) and possibly kept her socially isolated???

That last point is pretty speculative, since a lot about the earth of N’s flashbacks screams post-apocalyptic vibes. Maybe there just aren’t a lot of humans left for Tessa to socialize with. Tessa’s dad reinforces this idea in his speech by listing “currently being alive” as an attribute the Elliots are known for. It could just as well be a meta joke(since they are killed in the next few seconds), so lacking more context, I hesitate to extrapolate from this point alone.

Anywho, back to Tessa’s callous drone murder. Even if her parents were crappy by the usual standards, she clearly didn’t want them/the other gala guests to die. She tried to save them by “murdering her a robo-child”. Idk, does this blacked out redacted image of Tessa in the aftermath of the massacre seem upset??

Reasonable assumption. So adult/older teen Tessa has changed the way she feels about drones after these traumatic events. Maybe she doesn’t outright hate them, but she views them from a colder, more pragmatic angle than she did in her younger years. Does she still feel empathy for them and the horrible mistreatment they suffer at the hands of humans? Probably. But she’s now aware of the danger they truly pose and has good reason to eliminate them to ensure the absolute solver mutation no longer has a pool of hosts in which to spread and evolve.

So why the callous drone murder at the end of episode 3? We know you’re supposed to follow a 2 step procedure for decommissioning drones. Software death via lethal injection of a kill program(sounds fun!), followed by hardware death via “core removal” to ensure the decommissioned drone doesn’t reboot with corrupted software and an “increased chance for future errors”.

Did she hastily kill this random drone to keep her arrival on copper 9 secret, foregoing procedure for the sake of urgency? If so, who is she keeping her presence secret from? Is it the remaining drone population of copper 9, who Cyn used to collapse the planet core and kill all humans there? Possibly, Uzi is a prime example of anti-human sentiment, and during Mr Doorman’s parent-teacher conference he mentioned being on a “kill all humans kick when he was her age”. Perhaps Tessa assumes all the c9 worker drones are hostile to humans.

When you start making assumptions about what characters are assuming, it’s generally a good time to stop and just accept you don’t have the answers 🫠 so that’s where I will cut that line of questioning short. That being said, I’m not quite done yet…

What’s with this shelf of small human skulls in Tessa’s room? Why are the trash robots she “rescues” her only friends? Do her parents chain her up in her room because they suck? Or… do they have reasons not yet revealed to us, the audience?

Tessa’s perception among most of the fan base is fairly positive and on the surface there’s good reason for this. She’s presented as peppy, compassionate(except toward that one worker drone, lmao), ~tenacious~ and resilient. Actions like salvaging drones from the dump and perceived displays of affection and warmth for the disassembly drones leave viewers with the impression that she’s a good, kind person.

There is, however, another light in which to view her actions, and it casts a shadow on the motives we may have assumed were pure up to this point.

While it’s easy to parse Tessa saving drones from the dump as an act of altruism, it can also be interpreted as sinister. It could be an example of a character with a savior complex; a power dynamic wherein the “savior” exerts control over those they “rescue” by taking advantage of their gratitude and using it in manipulative ways. If this is the case, Tessa’s motives take a sharp left turn, flipping from selfless and kind to egotistical and controlling.

The show actually gives us direct evidence of Tessa using manipulation to get her drones to do her bidding.

“It wants paid time off…”

This instance of her using corporate buzzwords to drive J into a rage strong enough for her to bite through metal chains. Or how about her outright lying to the drones at the start of episode 6? Asserting that her intention was to “burn to the ground” labs Cyn was interested in, while later that same episode revealing to N that her “true” purpose was to obtain a list of drones infected with the absolute solver?

Preeetty manipulative. She manipulated and/or coerced Doll as well, in order to obtain the keybug. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if come episode 7, she switches it up yet again, revealing a new manipulation or perhaps, finally, her real mission.

Tessa’s manipulation of the drones she supposedly cares about isn’t the only hint that she might have a savior complex or similar egocentric tendencies. She’s also shown that she’s not very respectful of the drones autonomy, another red flag that can signal a propensity for narcissism and the controlling behaviors associated with it.

N is the example this time.

Tessa’s signature greeting for N, which is to grab his face and swing him around with excitement that borders on aggression. Maybe it’s just me, but his expression doesn’t suggest it’s mutually enjoyed. Looks more to me like he’s uncomfortable and only humoring her pep because he feels like he has no choice… after all, none of Tessa’s “dumpster pets” want to let down their saving grace.

We see this same kind of contact again throughout episode 6, with Tessa grabbing N’s face as a greeting again, and also playing with his hair on the way down to cabin fever labs. The way Tessa interacts with the drones(J and V as well as N) shows that she sees them as objects in her possession, rather than friends, peers or their own individuals with unique thoughts, wants and feelings.

Uzi even calls her out on this very mindset at the end of episode 6 after Tessa asks her sardonically to “don’t date my robot, please.”

Granted, I’ve got no solid backing, just observation, speculation and a suspicious mind. Tessa could be a great person… “good” or “bad” though, she’ll definitely try to kill our main character sometime soon, so… yup. Killing even an anti-hero typically slots you into the bad guy category, even in a show where the moral lines between good and evil are so artfully blurred.

TLDR; I think there’s more to Tessa than meets the eye, and even though Cyn is still probably Murder Drones “big bad”, I feel like Tessa has an element of villainy to her that I hope will be further explored in canon.

[boydepartment]

Pastry- Jungwon x Fem! Reader

a/n: HELLLLP WHAT IS WRONG W ME. another comfort fic 😨 this is moreso inspired by this post! when i was sad an old friend tried to get at me lolz ITS NOT LOLZ ITS ACTUALLY REALLY UPSETTING BUT ILL GET OVER IT !

MASTERLIST

wc- 750???? again half of this was written on phone so idk

warnings- insecurities, reader gets objectified, jungwon reassures her she’s much more than what she thinks people see her as. i’m sorry to anyone who has ever felt like this. i assure you, you’re more than that, and the person who made you feel like this- isn’t worth shit.

song- what was i made for by billie eilish

You sat on your couch with your head in your hands, you had just finished texting an old friend. The thought of texting an old friend previously made you so giddy. However, you quickly found their one motive to talk to you. You felt so grossed out and used in a sense. Of course, you didn’t give them anything, but that fact didn’t make that painful feeling go away. You think what hurt the most was that you didn’t expect that from them.

Immediately trying to get at you; offended you, as it would offend most people. You took a deep breath and laid down on your side. You tried to close your eyes to make the feeling go away. When you felt someone looking at you, you opened your eyes.

You saw Jungwon staring at you from the floor, he was leaning on the couch and all you could see was his cat-like eyes. His eyes gave you enough of a clue that he was confused at your state. You sighed and rolled on your back.

“Do you think people just think I’m pretty?”

Jungwon made a noise before standing up to look over you, “what do you mean?”

You sighed and rolled back on your side, Jungwon followed your lead and went back to leaning on the couch looking at you.

“I feel like I am just an object.”

Jungwon felt his fist clench a bit, “who made you feel like this?” He never failed to get upset when you were mistreated by someone. Jungwon couldn’t put you in a bubble and protect you from all harm though, this is life and shit happens sometimes. He’s just lucky enough to be in your circle.

You looked away from him, itching your hands like you had a plague, “I don’t know…”

“Y/n… You are a horrible liar.” Jungwon deadpanned and grabbed your hands softly to stop them from scratching.

“That old friend I was telling you about.” You mumbled, Jungwon’s grip tightened.

“The one you were excited about?”

You nodded and you felt your tears well up, “I feel gross, so gross, I don’t know why I even thought that they would want to talk to me again for any other reason. I feel like a stupid obje-“

“Y/n…” Jungwon got up and sat next to you, you sat up and leaned on him. Your hair was a mess, and your hoodie and shorts were disheveled. You felt as bad as you looked.

“They are stupid for objectifying you.” Jungwon started, his thumb rubbing your palm, “you are so much more than a pretty face, you have brains, you are really funny, and you have a dorky personality. You aren’t just pretty; you are so much more than that.” His voice was quiet, he didn’t want to raise it in fear you would just keep getting upset, “if they are stupid enough to make you feel like this, like an inanimate object, they are so stupid.”

“Thank you…” You mumbled and leaned your head on his shoulder, “I’m just tired of this… I don’t think people like me for me I feel like they just want to get something- anything- out of me. I’m so tired of it…”

“I know… I wish I could take that feeling away and give it to myself so you don’t have to feel like this anymore…” Jungwon looked down at your guys’ hands. He truly did want to take this feeling away from you and give it to himself. He’d rather deal with it for you. He didn’t want you to feel this way anymore.

You watched as he rubbed his thumb against the back of your hand, “I’m sorry you have to hear about me moping around…”

“No don’t be sorry… I want you to talk to me when you feel like this… Talk to me so I can listen and help…” Jungwon felt like he was made to help people, including you.

“Thank you Wonnie…”

He smiled softly at you, “are you hungry or want water or anything?”

“Can we get tea? Or a pastry?” You rubbed your eyes. Jungwon helped you.

“We can get as many pastries and cups of tea as you want.”

[tyunkus]

haiiii kumi :3 its been awhile but i saw ur post ab tyun w a daddy/sir kink n lemme js share my thoughts ! ^_^ (i sincerely apologize if this doesn't make sense im vvv tired rn n i should be sleep LOL)

taehyun would loooove to be called sir even in your guys daily life! like if he were to ask you to do a simple task for him and you said "yes sir" he would definitely pop a boner right then n there.. like its just something that makes him feel a bit more empowered yk? js adds to his big ass ego 🤭 n when you're giving him head n he praises u, "oh god, fuck yn you're doing so good," "i am? am i really doing good sir?" like hes so whipped for everything you do but this just adds to his obsession with you.

just makes him thrust harder into your mouth, letting out such sweet noises just for you to hear :( keeps telling you how pretty you look when tears are running down your face and your lips are glossy from his cum...

when he finally cums down your throat, he reaches down to give you a kiss, some of his cum still smeared on your lips, but he doesnt care because thats just him showing you how good you make him feel :3

hmm i think the sir kink could also work with ceo &/or professor tyun?

maybe he calls you to his office to discuss some paperwork thats due soon and has you work him through it— but not because he doesnt understand, no no no, everyone knew mr kang was a very smart man— he just liked the way his name rolled of your tongue, and how you look up at him with such beaming eyes 🥹 "do you understand it now sir?" "hmm, maybe you could explain this part one more time?" sisgsigeieeg he loves to hear you talk to him in such a proper way while thinking of how he could destroy you (if you let him, which we all know you would ☝️)

or maybe you're just asking him for help on something in his class! (i love dumbification w tyun so...) which somehow ended up with you sitting in his lap with your back against his chest, papers all sprawled out on the desk in front of you and his fingers rubbing your clit in small and slow circular motions, while he asks you for the nth time, "yn, cmon baby, solve it for me. then ill let you cum okay?" "dumb little girl, cant even pay attention in my class because shes too busy fantasizing about how good id fuck her huh? thats why you needed help?"

IDK HOW ELSE TO ELABORATE W THIS SO DO WHAT U WILL WITH IT!!! luv u kumiii (∩_∩)

- 🌟

star anon im so sorry i wish i knew what to add to this BUT I DONT ITS ALREADY SO PERFECT. like taehyun would love being called sir/daddy so much + TAEHYUN BEING STERN + PRAISE + HUMILIATION + DUMBIFICATION AHHUEHRJRJ

[ladamedusoif]

Secrets (Marcus Pike x GN!Reader)

A Merry Fic-Mas - December 24

Part of A Merry Fic-Mas: A Pedro Boy Holiday Fic Calendar - click for masterlist.

Follow my writing blog @ladameecrit and turn on notifications to keep up with my writing.

Pairing: Marcus Pike x GN!Reader 

Word count: 1743

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Angst; fluff; references to parental illness; no use of Y/N; no physical descriptions of reader; no gendered pronouns; minor swearing

A/N: This can be read as a standalone, but I wrote it thinking of Marcus and Reader from ‘Hot Chocolate’ and ‘Christmas Market’ in this series.

“How’s Marcus?” Your mother’s voice is bright and breezy on the call.

You pause a little too long for her liking. 

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, mom, it’s just…he’s not himself, lately. I thought we were all set for the holidays - you know how we booked a little cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains - but every time I try to talk about packing or planning, he gets tetchy and weird.”

“Maybe it’s work stress? He does have a lot on. Poor Marcus.”

“So do I, mom, and I’m not taking it out on him. Every time I ask him outright he just says everything’s fine but it isn’t. It’s like he’s hiding something from me.”

Your mother tut-tuts. “That’s not Marcus. He would never keep secrets from you.”

“I wish I could be as confident as you are.”

***

With Christmas falling on a Monday, you and Marcus had planned to take off on the Saturday morning, making the most of the extra days off before the holiday. By Friday night, he’s got the bags ready to load into the car and your refrigerator is groaning with food for the vacation, all ready to be stacked in cool bags for the journey.

Things hadn’t improved much in the time since you’d voiced your fears to your mother. Marcus remained unusually tetchy and irritable, a far cry from his usual sunny self. He insisted he was looking forward to the time away with you, but there was just something off. Something hidden underneath the surface, and for the first time in your relationship he had put up enough defences so that you couldn’t reveal the truth. 

Maybe he’s unhappy, you think to yourself. Maybe the vacation is make or break.

Your stomach churns as you imagine five days away with Marcus while he tries to decide if you need to end the relationship or not. 

Your phone rings as you’re sorting out a couple of bottles of wine for the trip. Mom. You brush it off, muttering to yourself that you’ll call her later, once the packing is done. 

It’s barely two minutes later that Marcus comes into the kitchen, talking on his phone while trying to catch your attention. 

“I’ll put you on now…sure. Sure. Well, I’m sure he’ll be okay, I’m so sorry - okay, keep us posted.”

He hands you the phone, mouthing “Your mom”.

“Mom?”

“Oh, darling, I’m sorry… you’re probably up to your neck with packing and sorting for the trip.”

“Just tell me, mom. You wouldn’t call Marcus if it wasn’t urgent.”

“Darling…it’s your dad. He’s had a fall, he’s in hospital, and -”

Your heart drops. “Mom, is he okay?”

She pauses a second too long. “Fine, fine… just hasn’t regained consciousness yet but it’s fine! I just felt you would be angry if I waited until after your trip to tell you. But it’s fine!”

“Mom, you’ve said ‘it’s fine’ so many times I’m pretty sure it isn’t fine.”

“Sweetheart, please just go on your trip and we’ll keep you posted. Okay?”

You become aware of Marcus peeking around the corner, trying to assess your mood from the tone of your voice and your body language. 

“Did the doctors say when they think he’ll regain consciousness?”

Another pause.

“They’re not sure, sweetie.”

You look up at Marcus, your eyes looking into his as you tell your mom you’ll be home tomorrow.

***

He swears it’s fine, but you know Marcus is annoyed. Or hurt. Or maybe a mix of both. 

Shit, maybe this really was a make or break vacation.

He had offered to come with you, but you dissuaded him, not wanting him to have to be thrown head-first into the madness that was your family - crisis or no crisis. 

“I’ll just stay here, I guess.” He casts an eye over the bags in the hallway. 

“Babe, no.” You wrap your arms around his waist. “We paid for the cabin and it’s too late to cancel now. It would be a pity not to use it at all. You’ve got that stack of reading you want to do. And, like, when dad wakes up I can come down and join you. What do you think?”

He doesn’t quite meet your gaze. “I guess.”

“I love you, Marcus. I’m so sorry.”

He sucks on the inside of his cheek and kisses you - not on the mouth, but on the cheek. “I love you, too.”

***

When you arrive home in Ohio you hop straight in a cab to the hospital, where your mother and siblings have spent the night keeping vigil. You try not to panic when you see your dad, hooked up to a morass of tubes and wires. 

“The doctors say it looks worse than it is,” your older sister explained. She holds out a bag of peppermint candies. “Candy?”

It’s several hours before you realise you haven’t let Marcus know you got there safely, like you promised. Too busy trying to get a clear answer from your mom about what, exactly, the doctors have said, and distracted by trying to track down a doctor to discuss a prognosis. 

Hey babe - I’m sorry, I have been talking to my mom and the doctors here. Dad okay, still no sign of improvement but stable. Love you - call you tomorrow.

You spend that night at the hospital, insisting that your mom go home and rest. You watch the dark sky brighten, slowly but surely, as Christmas Eve dawns. 

“It’s Christmas Eve, dad,” you murmur, unsure if he can hear you or not. “You’re not in the drunk tank, though,” you joke, referring to his favourite Christmas song, ‘Fairytale of New York’. “Just in hospital. I’ll let you know if the NYPD choir turns up.”

You get up and stretch your legs, wandering into the hallway in search of caffeine and sugar. The hospital cafe is quiet and you grab a cup of black coffee and a donut before returning to your dad’s floor. 

Panic sets in when you see nurses moving in and out of his room. One of them turns, spots you, and grins. 

“He’s waking up! Can you call your mom?”

By lunchtime, he’s fully awake and talking, grumbling about not being allowed home for Christmas. You duck out later in the afternoon to call Marcus and update him.

It goes straight to voicemail.

***

The hot shower feels like heaven as you rinse away the strain of the last couple of days. Well, some of it, anyway. Marcus still hasn’t answered your calls.

Thankfully, you’ve found a distraction, volunteering to prep some food at your parents’ house that can be easily taken to the hospital for Christmas Day. You slip on a pair of soft old sweatpants and a college hoodie and pad around the kitchen, filling some Tupperware containers with individual servings of cold cuts and salads while listening to the cheesy Christmas show on the local radio station.

You crawl into bed late that night, casting one final glance at your phone. 

Still nothing.

***

You stir awake at about two in the morning, roused by a thumping noise coming from somewhere in the house. As your brain adjusts, you realise it’s someone knocking on the door. 

You grab your brother’s old baseball bat as you descend the stairs. Can’t hurt to be prepared, after all. And you’re pretty sure this isn’t Santa Claus calling.

You open the door slowly, reluctantly. 

A pair of coffee-brown eyes. A soft, uncertain smile. Cheeks flushed with cold. 

“Marcus?”

He rubs his hands together and stamps his feet. “Can I come in? Got really cold in the car on the way up here.”

You fling your arms around him as he steps inside, forgetting the strangeness of the last few weeks. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He holds his soft, dark green knitted cap in his hands and looks nervous. Really nervous.

“I… I had to see you.”

Oh, shit. Wait - is he going to break up with you on Christmas morning? While your dad’s in hospital?!

“Ooookay.”

“Baby, I -” He falters. “This isn’t how I wanted to do this.”

He is definitely about to break up with you. And good riddance, because he’s clearly heartless.

“Just get it over and done with, Marcus.”

He takes a deep breath and exhales, long and slow.

“I wanted to have the space to do this at the cabin, y’know?”

“Marcus. Just say it.”

“Baby, I’m so grateful for you - you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met, so kind, so loving, and -”

You’ve had it. “Marcus - just say you don’t want to be with me. You’ve been weird for weeks. You’re here on Christmas fucking Day, having driven a seven-hour journey to get here. You obviously can’t be with me a minute longer, so you might as well just -”

He has dropped to one knee.

Wait. What?

“I wanted to ask you to marry me.”

Your jaw drops. For once, you’re stunned into silence.

“Baby?”

“I…Marcus. I just…is this…fuck.”

He reaches into his coat pocket and presents you with a little box. “Um, do you mind if I stand up again? My knees aren’t what they used to be.”

You chuckle and help him to his feet, before opening the box to find a perfect, simple engagement ring. 

“I can’t believe it, Marcus.”

He shrugs. “You seemed sure we were about to break up. I’m sorry I’ve been so stressed the last few weeks, my love. I was just readying everything for a perfect proposal, in the mountains, and I was so worried you’d say no, and then the ring was delayed, and then - well. And then your dad got sick. But he’s awake? I’m sorry, I only just saw your messages. My phone was in the trunk.”

You lift your gaze from the ring. “He’s awake. And I’m sorry, too - I didn’t know what you were keeping from me, and I didn’t even think of this.”

Marcus raises an eyebrow. “You didn’t think I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?”

You chuckle. “Mmmm. Maybe I thought a man as perfect as you couldn’t possibly want someone like me.”

He pulls you tight to him and kisses you. “Baby, you forgot something.”

You look confused. “I did?”

“You didn’t give me an answer yet.”

Tears shining in your eyes, you slip the ring on your finger. “A million times yes, Marcus Pike. Provided there are no more secrets.”

[the-fever-dream-highs]

Hey!, can i ask for some scott bartlett writing?

where the plot is something like this: scott has a best friend who is outgoing and problematic, sometimes she gets into fights and defends scott a lot, one day she finds out about the awkward action with adrianna in the boy's room and she decides to teach him, you know

it must be counterfiet- s. bartlett

"Nights are so starry, blood moon lit. It must be counterfeit. I think there's been a glitch, ah-yeah."

ship- Scott Bartlett x fem!reader

summary- You're sitting in your room with Scott after you ended up in a fight with some guy. After, smoking some of your secret stash you guys start 'talking'. He tells you about what happened with him and Adrianna and how awkward it was. A few blatant hints come from Scott, so you offer to teach him.

content warnings- cursing / mentions of sex / drugs(weed) /mentions of violence / mentions of blood /

word count- 761 (Would Y'all like a part 2. since this is short?)

(Use of she/her pronouns and use of y/n)

Your head was throbbing, the cold rag only doing so much. The bleeding had pretty much stopped but the gash above your ear still hurt like a bitch. You laid sprawled out on your bed waiting and wanting the pain to subside. After some ill faced comments about Scott, you had lost it and started hitting the guy like usual. You just couldn't let the guy get away with it. You took it upon yourself to defend Scott.

You could feel Scott's eyes burning into you. "If you keep staring at me, I swear to god, Scotty," you said, bringing an arm to lay across your eyes. The lights were blinding and seemed to be making your head hurt more.

"You shouldn't have done that. I could've handled it..." Both of you knew that wasn't true. He began walking over to you slowly, as if you were asleep and he didn't want to scare you. Truthfully, you knew exactly where he was because of the small creeks from the floor. You also could swear you could feel the guilt and sadness radiating off of his body. "You know I hate when you do this cause you end up hurt."

Yeah, you knew. Did you care though was the real question. (No.) This was just you. You already had an ever-growing reputation around the town, but you didn't mind. To you it was fun. Let's just say you had a problem with authority but only in the way if they tried to silence and control you. Of course, there is more that has gone on to give you such a bad reputation but that's a story for another time.

"Pain is a part of life. Plus, he's a douche and he shouldn't be able to talk about people like that without consequences." You sat up, ignoring the pain that shot through your whole body. You looked up at him, guilt still covered his face. "Wanna get high?"

"I just don't understand what you see in her. She seems, I don't know, bitchy," you said. You both leaned against the headboard of your bed, smoking some blunts from your stash. The current topic was Adrianna. It wasn't like you knew personally but just from observing her from afar she just didn't seem like a girl you wanted to know. "But y'all would be cute."

Your tolerance was rather high so the blunt wasn't affecting you too much. Scott on the other hand was a different story. It wasn't like he was gone or anything, but he was just more confident and open. Not scared to speak his mind. "Did I tell you we did 'it'."

Your head whipped around to look at him, your eyes widening slightly. "Y'all had sex?! Holy shit Scotty," you exclaimed, nudging him with your shoulder.

"Only issue, it was awkward. Like more awkward than I can even," he tried to find the word, "describe. It wasn't very good honestly."

"What do you mean," you asked, taking another drag. You felt sort of bad. Sex wasn't supposed to suck or be awkward. Maybe some awkwardness after words but only if the guy was bad.

He sighed and blew some smoke out his mouth. "It was just bad. I didn't know what I was really doing. I know like the basics of it but- I don't know. I wish I had more experience, so I knew what I was doing." he turned to look at you. You couldn't even recognize the look in his eyes. Was he wanting you to show him?

“Are you?-“ You were quickly cut off.

“Yes,” he said eagerly. "But only if you want to. Sorry, this is weird. I’m sorry I should never have asked.”

“Hey,” you grabbed his face, forcing him to turn to you. The confidence from the weed was starting to wear off of him. “I will if you want. But the only thing is no invisible strings. It would have to be completely loveless, and it is to never be used against each other. Got it?” He nodded, still staring deep into your soul. “No strings?”

He thought for a moment, debating if he should pinch himself to see if this was real or not. “No strings.” He smiled at you before leaning in, placing his lips gently on yours. There was no love in the kiss. You had said no love so he would listen to you. (He had seen you how handle people not listening to you.) This would all be counterfeit. The mocking image of love. Nothing real.

a/n- Hellooooooo! Okay, firstly, would you like a part two to this? I felt really bad for leaving this in my requests, so I wanted to get something out for you. Please tell me if you want a part two because I will happily write it. Scott is so adorable and underrated and there is a minuscule amount of stuff for him. I also might come a work on fixing it cause there's parts I hate.

For this being my second one-shot ever I wanted to try writing it differently to see what I like to do!

Please leave requests of what you would like to see next!

Bye! Love you all! <3

[dunnswrld]

johnny fucking you so good that you start to get tears in your eyes so johnny just keeps talking to her whilst fucking her, telling her how good she is?

i said it once and ill say it again i love my dirty anons.

nsfw/smut! fem!reader, dacryphilia, praise!

it had been such a long four weeks without johnny by your side. he had went to shoot with steve-o and chris for wildboyz in god knows where. but now that he was finally face-to-face with you again it didn’t take long for things to get rather heated. you two were all over each other before you even managed to open the front door to your guys shared home.

which is why your face was now pressed into your soft pillow on your bed as your back was arched. you could feel the firm grip of johnnys hands on your hips as he pushed your hips into his while he also drove his hips into yours.

it really showed how much johnny missed you with the way he was fucking you, rough but so loving and gentle at the same time. from him holding your hand, placing gentle kisses along your spine, or the many sweet words that fell from his lips.

“i missed you so much sweetheart, thought about you every second of every day.”

“god you feel so good- never leaving you for that long again doll, don’t think i could manage.”

“you fuck me so good sweetheart- fuck- miss ya so much.”

everything was making your head spin in pleasure, it was almost overwhelming how good johnny was able to make you feel right now.

your head was so fuzzy from the pleasure to the point where you didn’t even feel your nose begin to feel prickly and your eyes welled up with tears. you were too focused on the way johnny was slamming his hips into yours, the lewd noise of skin slapping and your own broken cries filled your ears as hot tears rolled down your cheeks and onto the soft pillow on the bed.

johnny was also too caught up in his own pleasure to realize his girlfriend was crying, the feeling of him being inside her and touching her once again was so distracting in every way possible. he was almost melting at the feeling and the pretty noises that were falling from your mouth- he wishes he could listen to them on loop for the reat of his life.

but what pulled him out of the trance you had him in was a large sniffle. he stopped his movements so fast after hearing your sniffle his hips sputtered. concern washed over him as he realized he may have been too rough with you-

“hey, hey, sweetheart are you crying? am i being too rough? im so sorry-“

but when johnny was going to finish his sentence he felt your hips begin to grind on his dick, a soft moan falling from his lips as the grip on your hips tightened.

johnny was taken aback at first, unsure of what to do since tears kept falling from your eyes onto your pillow but your hips seemed to grinded against his in such a needy manner.

“feels s-so good johnny. please keep going and don’t stop- please.”

your begging was all johnny needed to finally start slapping his hips into yours again, the same lewd-skin slapping noise filling your guys bedroom again.

johnny thought before that the sex you two were having before this moment was amazing, but now after he realizes he was making his sweet girlfriend feel so good to the point where it brought her to tears he know thought that this was the best sex he’s ever had.

as johnny watched himself slip in and out of you at a fast pace various loud groans fell from his lips.

“by the time we’re done- holy shit- you’re gonna have that pillow soaked in your tears sweetheart from how good im about to make you feel.”

[cloveroctobers]

black mascara — EZ REYES

A|N: in honor of the season 5 trailer, I had to write a little something. This one will actually be small since I don’t have too much to go off of in writing this but I can’t lie and say I’m not a little fired up! So get comfy.

GIF BELONGS to: @dailymayans

·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆·

“See that crave for power…that’s seeping through your pores is exactly what’s gonna get you killed, Ezekiel.”

“…if that happens to be the case, I hope they know their prayers well because I’ll still be here from beyond the grave.”

She did not know this person that she sat face to face with. She didn’t even know what that statement means. Majority of the time Hadiza kept out of The Mayans business, despite the fact that her older brother Franky interacted with them from time to time. She knew Ezekiel way before he decided to join the club and although she’s seen the Mayans around town, she didn’t have much of a opinion when the man first brought the idea to the table a week before his release.

Now she wished she would have.

Back then she trusted that Ez knew what he was doing.

This Ezekiel was not the man she used to know.

Hadiza had a feeling this would happen, that as soon as Ezekiel got into the president’s chair, a whole new level of danger would be unleashed. She saw the shift in Ezekiel throughout his time in the charter happen gradually, that her worries started to keep her up at night. The lack of sleep even proposed her to talk to Felipe about it, who simply listened and still had faith in his baby boy until Gabby came around.

Which was kinda foul the longer she thought about it. Was her word really not good enough when she’s been around? She’ll have to take that up with Felipe at a later time, respectfully.

She’s known Ezekiel since high school…it’s been years since they stepped into their adulthood. However a good portion of Ezekiel’s youth was ripped away from him the night his mother died.

Yes people change…but not like this.

Hadiza was beginning to think that a piece of Ezekiel died with his mother that day but what could she say about him now? So much has happened since then and He wasn’t the same—sure it was foolish to think that he would be completely healed from that tragedy but the light in his pretty honey eyes, did not reflect what was beyond them or what was on the outside.

“So that’s it then,” she raised her shoulders, “you’re gonna waste your life away for reckless shit? You’re better than this Ezekiel.”

“What do you exactly expect me to do? This is the duty that I’ve strived for. And you’re looking at me as if we didn’t know it would always end up being this way. I know you didn’t think this shit was rainbows and daisies, you’re much smarter than gabby in that sense.” Ezekiel bit, yanking a cigarette from his pocket.

Hadiza shook her head, “speaking ill of the dead…somebody that you killed and claimed to love like she was just nothing to you. I’m not feeling this. Or you.”

“There’s the door, fucking use it,” Ezekiel flared his nostrils as he pointed at the exit, “you’re the one who came here trying to preach to me what I’ve already heard. And what I’ve told myself before back when I was weak. What? you thought shit was gonna change because it’s coming from you? I’ve got to be smarter than that, especially when it comes to the club and nothing you can say to me right now…matters.”

“Then what does, motherfucker?!” She was on her feet now, “greed? Selfishness? No wait. I got it, your ego.”

The man lifted his shoulders, not needing to say anything more or seemed to be the least bit phased by the irritation that was showing in his long-time friend’s frame.

“Going after the sons—

“I don’t want to hear it.” Ez glared, “I’ve seen enough wars to not fear a damn thing. Don’t you ever question: Where does fear get you, diza? Look in the mirror. Everybody pays a price with the cards they’ve been dealt.”

The woman chewed down on her bottom lip in annoyance, “and just how much are you willing to lose?”

“That’s something I’ve got to reflect on in my own time…but you’re here.” Ezekiel kept his eyes trained on the woman, puffing on his cigarette.

Before Hadiza could lose the courage she said, “Fuck your subliminal and fuck you.”

“We’ve already done that, remember? With Sofia watching in the background. I think the message then was very clear and something you should thank me for.”

That was so low and disrespectful, considering that Hadiza had a moment and went to someone who she thought cared about her well-being. At that time she just received the news that her fiancé wanted to break off the engagement after cheating on her with a co-worker and the first person she went to was Ezekiel. He was the first person she thought about and felt complete with—a mistake on her end, sure but she wasn’t expecting him to have company other than Sally.

The smirk that was on his lips was smacked right off by her hand. However that did not stop Ez from yanking on her wrist and getting into her face.

Anyone was fair game at this point.

This she knew deep down.

He could end it all, right here in this trailer.

What made her any different?

Did he even love her anymore? Or was she just another ploy in the way Ezekiel floated around life now? Hadiza was not part of the club so why was she becoming collateral damage?

“You don’t get to come here and think our friendship and reminiscing about the old times, or guilt trip me about Gabby, would stop me or save me from myself. That’s not your job, never was amor. Sorry I couldn’t live in your fantasy of being a good ol’ friend to you anymore. But that’s life, so either continue standing by and keep your mouth shut or take a walk and don’t look back.” Ezekiel gritted into her face and that hurt more than him squeezing her wrist.

The black ink dripped down her brown cheeks as she hissed, “you’re done to me.”

And this she hoped she meant. She couldn’t stick around and she knew Ezekiel was pushing her to do so but ultimately it was her choice. Her eyes stung from the makeup as she clenched them closed, fighting away the memories of their teenage years: watching Ezekiel love Emily, having intense debates over literature in class and outside of, him being there for her first heartbreak and attempting to get angel to drive him to the asshole who broke her heart house to egg it and piss on their front doorstep, to Marisol Reyes encouraging her to keep loving her son the best way that she knew how…

“Good,” Ezekiel breathed into her face, shoving her fist back down her by her sides.

He broke eye contact after awhile since she no longer had any words for him. He placed the cigarette back to his lips as he slouched back on the couch. Hadiza swiped the mascara from the bags underneath her eyes, deeply inhaling and battled with herself on what to do or say.

The words fell empty just like the relationship she once had with the man she called her best friend.

She sniffed as she snatched up her bag, making sure she had her keys before she took her exit. The door to the trailer opened on her way, revealing Sofia who easily picked up on the tension in the home. Her dark eyes shifted between the pair but Hadiza patiently waited for the wavy haired woman to get out of her way.

Ez pressed his elbows into his knees as he grunted, “What is it, Sofia?”

If Hadiza continued to be foolish she would have tried to believe that the tone of his voice was telling her something, besides him being an asshole. That perhaps he didn’t truly want their friendship to end but that’s the difference between the two, she didn’t have to be selfish.

“Um, you’ve some company. Bishop and Tranq are outside.” Sofia informed as she stepped into the trailer with Sally.

Ez quickly got to his feet, putting his cigarette out in a nearby ashtray and brushed his shoulder by Hadiza as he left the trailer. Sofia easily picked up on the woman taking a sharp breath at his actions but didn’t speak on it.

It didn’t take the most intelligent person to understand that something transpired between the two. Their relationship didn’t threaten what she had with EZ and in a way, Sofia actually thought it was beautiful. How their relationship didn’t appear to be transactional or circumstantial. How simply being next to each other was enough for them. Or it used to be. Yet Sofia wasn’t naïve to think that it would last with the new propositions EZ took on.

Sometimes that’s just the way life worked out and the sooner Hadiza figured that out…maybe she could protect her heart a bit better.

It was a little awkward as Hadiza had to collect herself, hand on the trailer’s door before she went outside. Sofia wasn’t one for words and she wasn’t sure anything she could say would provide comfort for Hadiza either. After what happened right here in this trailer, weeks ago, it’s not like the two had the chance to really talk about it.

They didn’t have to but it seemed like Hadiza always had a lot on her mind.

Thankfully for Sofia, Hadiza pushed the door open, not sparing her a glance, either placing herself on autopilot or trying her best to ignore her presence—it didn’t bother Sofia one way or another as Hadiza left the home.

“See you around then,” Sofia muttered, taking a seat on the couch, after the door clicked shut behind Hadiza.

Her long legs kicked up the dirt as she passed by the group of men on the side. She couldn’t get away from the place fast enough, feeling her heart being squeezed with each step she took.

“Hey,” Tranq started to call out to the woman but it was almost as if she heard nothing while she shoved herself into her car.

Bishop’s eyes were back on EZ as his eyes briefly burned into Hadiza’s retreating form. He just knew the Reyes brother fucked that up and it’s a shame because he was fond of the girl, despite her having a connection to a pig. Of course he never fully trusted her (by no fault of her own) but she was kind enough whenever she rarely showed up to club.

He kept it silent but he knew his body language did enough talking for him as EZ focused back on him.

“Tonight is the night, round everybody up.” Ez ordered, stalking off and daring a glance at Hadiza’s car and over his shoulder as he stood on the steps of his trailer, while she backed off the lot and sped away, eyes solely on what was in front of her and not what was left behind in the rear view.

Ez swallows down the small lump that wants to form in his throat but that wasn’t important right now. He had other things to tend to and Hadiza was no longer one of them.

Instead of running back, she ran to her mother’s arms who was less than thrilled to see her baby this upset over a man who she trusted to be good to her child.

Later Hadiza found herself in her mother’s hands again when she received the devastating but expected news from Angel Reyes on her door step. She broke down in the doorway right in front of him and she knew the eldest brother couldn’t handle that amount of heartache that he also shared, despite him placing a kiss to the top of her head and leaving her with one of EZ’s dog tags, he left her with the woman who gave her life to deal with the weight of the lost on his own.

Hadiza then sent a letter to Felipe a couple of days before she decided to take her life elsewhere, away from all that Santo Padre showed her. She wasn’t sure if there would even be a funeral or memorial but she had to get out while she can still stand.

Antigua was always a place Hadiza wanted to visit and now she can say that she lives here comfortably.

She left her mother on the front deck to get them a refill of her famous rum punch that was leftover from her mother’s house party yesterday night. Hadiza was humming to herself in solitude until she heard her mother screaming out to her from outside.

The woman did not hesitate to race around the house with a bat, ready to fight off any Osprey’s that decided to invade their property again. Hadiza held her breath as she yanked open the door, eyes wild as she searched for her mother on the deck.

“What is it, ma?” Hadiza exhaled, seeing her mother sitting up on one of the wicker chairs.

Her mother nudged her chin towards the front and Hadiza cautiously took a step towards the railing. A few of her fingertips rested on the banister as she leaned over a bit, looking over at the new found community they both settled into. It was quiet as usual, air warm, seaweed scented, and fresh.

She wasn’t sure what had spooked her mother until her eyes settled down by the cars parked along the curb. Her eyes moved to the left a bit and she had to rub at one of them to make sure her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her. It tended to do that the first couple of weeks she settled in the country. Lately she’s been okay. A figure stood by a identical golf cart (that they had in their driveway) that was parked right behind Hadiza’s car, fitted cap on their head as their hands held onto a mobile device.

Her throat went dry before she could even muster up and ask if she could help the person locate who they were searching for…because she knew it was him before those honey eyes looked up at her.

“Ezekiel.” She shuddered, feeling her mother get to her feet behind her, like the DJ Khalid meme, almost like she wasn’t still healing from the last Osprey attack two weeks ago.

Her mother also gripped onto the banister, “Oh hell no. I rebuke this demonic spirit, get away from here!”

And tossed the freshly watered plant at Ezekiel who side-stepped the assault.

“Hey, Mrs—it’s just me!”

“I know! Aren’t you supposed to be dead, you bastard?!” She yelled back.

Hadiza whispered at the woman, “Ma, please.”

The woman humphed, folding her arms as she waddled back to the chair, already aware how this would go.

Hadiza pointed the bat at Ezekiel, “wait right there.”

“Not if you’re gonna beat my ass.”

“I’ll think about it by time I get downstairs.”

Hadiza’s mother cackled at that, knowing she raised her baby with some sort of sense.

Hadiza couldn’t tell you how she felt but the brain fog was kicking in. She weeped over this man too many times just for him to be here in the flesh, like they all didn’t experience the hell he indulged in back in Santo Padre.

Her mother was right to think a demon was standing in front of their home. The anger Hadiza directed at EZ after receiving the news of his death was like no other emotion Hadiza’s had before but she found peace in Antigua.

She halted at the front door, noticing EZ fumbling with his fingers after the phone disappeared from his hold. Hadiza took her time going down the few front steps, crossing through the grass and down the slope to the gravel.

The man looked up at her approach, carefully reaching up to lift the cap from his head to mess around with the brim of the hat as Hadiza moved closer but almost not close enough.

His eyes immediately went to her head, noticing that the mountain of coarse hair that she had was long gone into a buzzed style now.

He smiled, “you finally did it huh? I know you’ve been eating ‘em up more than ever out here.”

And she couldn’t stand it, her eyes scanning the old yellowing of bruises and cuts on his face, puffing out a laugh at his compliment as she almost collapsed into his arms, bringing his body so tight to hers that he thought he would break her rib cage but he followed through with the same actions.

Her chin buried into his shoulder, one of his hands around the small of her back, and the other cradling the back of her head, he heard her sob against him and he couldn’t be more apologetic.

When they pulled apart, she held onto his face analyzing the marks on his skin before she inflicted her own attack on his lower half.

“Hey! Ow!” A good whack to the top of his head, made Ezekiel stop taking the hits as he gripped her wrists again.

Except this time was different, his touch was much more softer.

“I’m sorry okay. I’m sorry for filling your head up with doubts and making you believe that I didn’t give a shit about our friendship. When quite frankly—no pun intended, you’re the best got damn thing that’s been in my life.” His hands slipped into holding her hands into his own large ones.

And the way he was staring at Hadiza, let her know that this was the old Ezekiel she had missed. It was the spark in his eyes that made her feel safe, given what he got himself involved in.

He could see her mind spinning with questions, the corners of her eyes damp with tears.

“What did I say to you when we first became friends?”

“…’jalapeños on these nachos are missing and I make better ones than these whack ass ones you’re eating.’” Hadiza actually thought about this.

Which made a goofy grin appear on Ez’s face and he shook his head with a sigh, “yeah I think I did say that but after that? I said you’re stuck with me if you choose me. It would always be Kiel and Diza for life, remember?”

It was ironic that he wanted to think back when he basically was rude as hell to her about this in his trailer months ago. The bitterness was still in the pit of her stomach but the higher road wanted her to be happy that this man, her best friend, Ezekiel Lorenzo Reyes was very much still alive.

Hadiza wasn’t sure how the fuck he did it but here he was, wiping away her black mascara before holding her hands in his again.

A small smile appeared on her lips as she peered down at their hands, lifting their conjoined hands up to place her lips right on the back of his hands. Ezekiel let out a breath he wasn’t aware that he was holding.

“For life.” She repeated, staring at him underneath her eyelashes.

He nodded his head, not breaking eye contact as she pulled the necklace from around her and placed it back on Ezekiel where it belonged. He glanced down at it, a new wave of emotions hitting him as he realized a piece of him was always with the one woman he deeply cared for.

“Let’s get inside.” Hadiza told him, as he leaned over to place a kiss to her full cheek.

She turned, her hand still resting in one of his hands as he reached for the fallen bat with the other, “think I might need this if I try to give your mom a hug.”

Hadiza laughed, “Baby steps, Kiel.”

“That’s fair.” He answers from behind her, letting her lead the way to her new home.

Perhaps now here in the Caribbean, they had the chance to create a better life, a better friendship together with no more black ink or blood spills blinding the way.

·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆·

Continue along with my anthology works that were written during the spring season here.

[lesbianneopolitan]

hey why do you like Neo so much lol. No hate, just curious cause like, there are so many characters in RWBY I just wanna know why you (and a shocking amount of others apparently) identify with her so much

I've been asked this before, but because I was also recently asked on Twitter, I'll answer it again

Everything started with V2- Neo's design and personality caught my eye, yeah, her personality and the fact she was a sadist despite being presented with softer and 'cuter' colors, that's what I liked most at first

Even if her character wasn't thought to be part of the main story, the show gave me enough to end up liking Neo even more. And before I realized it, I caught up with V8 and not long after they gifted me RWBY Roman Holiday

Learning about Neo's past managed to make my brainrot worse, mainly because it managed to make me see myself reflected on Neo even more (for one reason or another)

I really loved witnessing her descend into madness due to loneliness and revenge, or the fact she isn't a good person (even if she suffered in the past, I think the book and the show made sure to make clear the bad tendencies that Neo has, independently to how much she has suffered, she's a chaotic person)

I also really REALLY LOVE her Semblance and I wish I had it lol

They also ended up referring to her as the Mad Hatter on occasion, reference to Alice in Wonderland (another of my main interests), and that gives points- part of her fighting style is based on fencing (my favorite kind of weapon and sword is the rapier)- everything just feels like perfection

And all of this without the necessity of Neo speaking, because she's mute

I just, love this bitch

On the topic of WHY I identify with her, though, it's probably mainly mental illness and trauma, as in, this is a topic I've talked about with my therapist before. I've noticed how a good bunch of women I know that are traumatized and are mentally ill tend to identify more with the villains than they do the heroes, and for each of us, there may just be part of our traumas that are comparable to certain fictional characters even if sometimes the reactions of the fictional characters are often more exaggerated and stuff because, well, they're villains lol

In Neo's case for me, there's also small things like my hyperphantasia compared to Neo's Overactive Imagination, or the fact Neo had an imaginary friend when she was younger that was an alter ego and a side of herself (when I was younger, I too had an alter ego that was the part of me that I couldn't express irl, born from the trauma I suffered), and while I personally headcanon her mutism to be a physical problem (vocal cords), my anxiety and certain stressing situations make me go mute, so I thought the fact she's mute is pretty cool

There's deeper stuff, like relating to how ashamed her own parents were of her for how she was, who she wanted to be, having parents that controlled her a lot, or that feeling of feeling lonely even when in a crowd of people because people keep pointing at you and saying how weird you are for being different, despite trying to be friendly

Or when it comes to relationships, I could also understand the struggles of being so attached to one person, that you try to fill that void with someone else almost desperately once losing them

The thing with the Curious Cat, despite being fictional possession, also reminded me too much of my sexual abuse (entering by the mouth made me really uncomfortable- hell, I did break for a week, in a way, and the loss of control of someone's body to be at the mercy of another reminded me of those dark times too), so I just got an extra reason to identify with Neo in this V9, it's why I gave my Neo's design 'scars' from that incident (physical changes, that to me are a representation of PTSD scars left behind and that you have to learn to live with)

I also have a tendency to identify with some characters that want revenge or are lonely- the revenge part because the person that abused me most in life didn't get any kind of punishment, so it's cathartic when fictional characters can have revenge instead (independently of the target being the real problem or not) and BRUH, there are possibly more things I'm forgetting, but I think the ask already got long enough to know there's a good bunch of psychological and spiritual factors between me and Neo that made me so attached

It's one of those cases in which it feels like, 'Neo was tailored for me' even if I'm obviously not the only case lol

[captain-aralias]

9 books that are my favourites

tagged by @arenee1999 a few days ago, thank you <3 as i was writing this list in my head last night, i thought - this could be read as a list of my favourite fandoms and television/film adaptations, but hey ho. i did a degree in english lit or something.

harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban by JKR - no book has been so important to my life and i also just think it's a really fun mystery and i still like it, so - it's here, it's staying.

carry on by rainbow rowell - but of course. this one was quite important too.

pride and prejudice by jane austen - i don't think this has ever made a fav book list before, i think because i thought it was too basic, but damnit - this book is great, it influences the way i write enemies to lovers, i love the 1995 adaptation and all of austen's novels are bangers except mansfield park, which i keep trying to like but it sucks.

the once and future king by TH white - all my life i loved the movie 'camelot' and it's depiction of arthur. i only learned as an adult that it was TH white's gentle, earnest, thwarted arthur that they'd used <3 he's perfect. 'ill-made knight' is the best of the series, IMO

lieutenant hornblower by cs forester - i haven't read the books in ages, so maybe it's time for a re-read. the ioan grufford adaptation is great, i wish they'd do the later/earlier books too! BUT this early (in hornblower's life) book is my fav - the only one told from bush's POV as he struggles with how he loves hornblower but worries the guy wants to do a mutiny (which he totally does)

the folk of the air by holly black - a new entrant even though i've loved it for years, but i've decided i don't just think it's really good, it's so good that it's one of my favs. maybe the best of the trilogy is the middle book, 'wicked king' where jude is in power with limited support and they fall in love (or do they???). how the king of elfham learned to hate stories is also brilliant.

'the emperor mage' by tamora pierce. i've been waiting my whole life for the numair book and it was terrible, but her first three trilogies are my absolute crack, and this is the best book of those series IMO. the bit where numair tries to hit the emperor for implying he loves his student daine (which he does) while she's listening but disguised as a bird - and then he fakes his own death, and daine goes crazy... that bit has stayed with me for decades, i love it so much.

'night watch' by terry pratchett. i still feel late to properly loving pterry, but i've always liked this one and now i love it - vimes is my guy, i love the time travel, that he trains himself, that he resists both passively and when required actively. v good. my next fav is probably ... 'monstrous regiment', which i think is a bit more of a weird choice (unlike this one which is mega popular and also about all the things i like), but it just does everything right! oh, 'and 'going postal'.

'the princess bride' by s morgenstern william goldman. i haven't read this for ages either so maybe it shouldn't make the list, but i expect it's still pretty great. a mindfuck for a young child who has only seen the film and thinks all of the frame narrative must therefore be real... also, the film is like one of the best films ever and i have seen that super recently. if you haven't seen the home movie, do yourself a favour and watch it because it's a great way to enjoy the movie a-new.

no idea where this meme has been already. so just saying hello to some folks and if you'd like to do this meme and haven't done it already, please do! @giishu @orange-peony @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @carryonvisinata @alleycat0306 @fight-surrender @cows4247 @messofthejess @mysterioussheep

[annabellelupin]

so a lot of people headcanon lily as this very confident, plus sized women, but hear me out

(tw: fatphobia, tw: eating disorder)

lily always tries to seem very confident and accepting of her weight, in hope that other plus sized girls would feel more comfortable in their own skin

however, it's really hard for her to genuinely be excepting of her weight sometimes

sometimes the fatphobic comments start to get her, and she really does start to wonder if it's a genuine problem

even in the Wizarding world she doesn't escape the hateful comments most people that don't fit societal beauty standards are subjected to

while of course her closest friends (Mary, Dorcas, and Marlene) thought she was perfect as is, most men didn't exaclty think the same

she always reassured them she didn't mind, but deep down, it hurt her a lot

was she only going to be seen as beautiful if she was skinny? she often wondered about this, and believed she may never find a man that actually saw every inch of her as beautiful without changing her weight

ofc, being herself, she didn't tell anyone of these thoughts. she still wanted to set an example for others, even if sometimes she struggled with harmful thoughts herself. it'd be worth it if even one other plus sized girl looked at her and thought even people like them, often laughed at and made fun of, could be beautiful and confident despite beauty standards regarding weight (so lily thought)

one school year, the staring, comments, and rudeness finally fully got to her.

she started eating less and less, causing her to become physically sick and lightheaded most of times.

Marlene and Mary were quick to notice, but nothing they said got through to her. not even their constant pestering for her to eat more often to stay healthy

lily, who once tried to set good examples for others, was trying to change herself just to please others

she didn't listen to absolutely anyone that cared for her... well anyone that she was extremely close with at the time anyways.

James was pretty quick to notice her change in appetite- and in attitude

at first he didn't think much of it, everyone has a few off days right?

two weeks later he began getting really concerned. she had skipped class quite a bit that week because she felt ill, and he had a feeling he knew why.

he decided to accompany her alone in the common room one day she didn't feel well enough to go to class, in hope to finally get to the bottom of all of this

"what's wrong, lils? you haven't been your usual self recently"

"...oh, it's nothing"

"lily, it's certainly not nothing... I've noticed you've been skipping meals a lot recently, and you haven't felt yourself in weeks. What's going on?"

lily teared up. she wanted to keep all of it to herself, but she just couldn't any longer, it had become too much

"I-" Lily began crying even more, and James hugged her

"It's okay, take your time"

"...It's just... I want to feel good about my weight... i know im fat and I shouldn't care about what others think about it. usually i love my body but sometimes..... sometimes it all gets to me.... I wish there were more people out there that didn't see me as disgusting just because I'm plus sized.."

James hugged her even tighter and gave her a light kiss on the forhead

"I certainly don't think that, Lily, and I know a lot of people that don't. You're beautiful and smart just as you are. But you shouldn't care about what I think about you, or what anyone else thinks for that matter. it only matter what you think about yourself. now, without thinking about anyone else, how do you feel about yourself and your weight?"

"Sometimes it's hard to like that part of myself, but most days I love it. Being plus sized is something about me a lot of people can relate to, and I want to able to help others accept themselves through my own confidence, and I love that usually I can do that."

"So, you only ever had a problem with it because of others right?"

"Unfortunately"

"Well..." James pauses for a moment and sits back to get a better look at lily. "I really don't think you should worry about the jerks that think being plus sized makes a person ugly. Really, their attitudes are the true things that are ugly. I know it's easier said than done, but I more than willing to give you a reminder of how amazing you are here and will be there to help you out. And teach those idiots a bit of a lesson if need be"

Lily smiled for the first time in what felt like weeks

"Thanks, James. You're not too bad yourself, when you want to be" she laughed

James kept to his word after and made sure to help reassure lily anytime her thoughts about her weight got bad again, until she was easily able to put down the thoughts herself.

Now she truly was a confident, plus sized icon others could gather courage and and acceptance from