#ship: Bob/Laura

[callmegaith]

This is how it went down for real

[pelyach]

soooo, uh.... i painted myself in rusty lake style for a project and i'm literally Robert and Laura's secret love child......

[drawingswatson-holmes]

Rustylake discord shenanigans 🚣📼

Drawn by Watson

[black-rose-blue-lodge]

The Importance of Donna in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

Okay, so a lot of people like to ship Donna Hayward and Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks, and there is good reason for that. Throughout the original run, Donna is haunted by her complex feelings for Laura. She loved her, she envied her, she wanted to be her. She misses her. Donna gets close to James, Maddy and Harold in part because they all give her the feeling of being close to Laura. In Fire Walk With Me, we are shown just how close they were.

Donna is very important in Fire Walk With Me. I believe that none of this requires you to ship the characters, although I also find it compelling evidence for a romantic reading of the film. Basically, even if you think the characters have only platonic feelings for each other, this is a summary of why Donna matters.

Near the end of the film, Laura tells James “You don’t know me. There are things about me… Even Donna doesn’t know me.” Of all the people who apparently don’t know Laura, Donna knows her the most. She is given the most importance. While Laura’s relationships with James and Bobby are shown to be ineffectual and largely irrelevant to the story of the end of her life, Donna is front and centre. Their friendship, their love for each other, is the emotional core of the film.

Our first insight into Laura’s psyche comes when she confides her depression and existential dread in Donna with the lines: “the angels wouldn’t help you… because they’ve all gone away.” In this scene, she is much more candid, willing to expose this part of herself. She essentially believes that she is doomed, that no one will be there to save her. (And, on a surface level, she is correct: even Mike, the “one man… Bob is afraid of” according to Laura’s secret diary, does not save her from death.)

When Laura begins to realize BOB’s true identity, she turns to Donna. Donna grounds her in reality. Laura seems to walk “between two worlds” in the film, constantly teetering on the brink of life and death. Donna is perhaps her greatest remaining connection to this world. And, difficult as that responsibility may be, Donna gladly accepts it.

Donna is depicted in Fire Walk With Me as a shy and conservative girl, contrasting strongly with Laura, who is openly ‘dangerous’ and promiscuous. Donna daydreams about having “lasting love… true love” but doesn’t even have a boyfriend. She takes all her cues from Laura. When she tries to become more adventurous, she does it to be like Laura, to understand Laura. This is shown after the Pink Room sequence, where Donna asks tearfully “Why do you do it?” She desperately wants to know, to stand there with Laura between two worlds and comfort her, but she can’t. She can never understand.

In The Missing Pieces, after Laura’s breakdown at Donna’s house, Donna whispers something to her father, who then reads a (clearly fake) “secret message for Laura”.

We don’t know what Donna whispered to Doc Hayward, but she must have asked him to say something about the angels returning, because she was the only one present when Laura said that the angels wouldn’t help her. The camera reinforces this, lingering on Donna as her father “reads” the message. It is a message from Donna.

Laura leaves after this, clearly affected. The way it cuts to Donna during the line “the one that is meant to help you” suggest that Donna believes that she can help Laura. If no other angels are there, Donna will be the angel who helps Laura out of the darkness.

Now, BOB’s stated motivation in the film is to “taste through [Laura’s] mouth”, turning her into the next ‘vehicle” for his evil. In the series (2x9), Laura’s diary reveals that she died because it was “the only way to keep Bob away from [her], the only way to tear him out from inside.” She wrote, “I know he wants me, I can feel his fire. But if I die he can’t hurt me anymore.” She died to avoid a fate worse than death.

In Fire Walk With Me, the focus shifts, and it’s not just about Laura. In the film, Laura dies so that BOB can’t use her to hurt the people around her. It is strongly implied that the fate of Twin Peaks itself hangs in the balance. (This is arguably why the scenes of everyday town life in The Missing Pieces were included to begin with; they offer glimpses of what Laura dies to protect.)

If BOB possesses Laura, his fire will spread. The Log Lady warns her “the tender boughs of innocence burn first… and then all goodness is in jeopardy.” This is right before Laura goes into the Roadhouse, where Donna follows her, beginning the dangerous game of “chicken” that they play, where Laura keeps trying to scare Donna away, and Donna keeps trying to show Laura that she isn’t scared. This sequence is the last straw for Laura. When she sees Donna slipping into darkness in the Pink Room, she gets a firsthand glimpse of “the tender boughs of innocence” beginning to burn.

Laura’s influence, despite all her intentions, has started to corrupt Donna. It’s one thing for Laura to be taken advantage of by these men. In her opinion, she can handle it, and she is doomed anyway. But not Donna. In the screenplay, this is even more explicit during the Pink Room scene.

Donna represents everything at stake if BOB wins. For Laura, Donna is the incarnation of “innocence” and “all goodness”. In that way, she is indeed like an angel, and Laura doesn’t want to bring about her fall from grace.

This is the heart of the film. The essence of Laura’s sacrifice. She dies for Donna.

As much as I, like many others, ship Donna with Laura, Laura could never be with Donna, not in this universe. Though I believe Laura has feelings for her, she would not act on them, because she views Donna as someone fundamentally good, and herself as someone fundamentally bad. This is encapsulated in the line “I love you, Donna… But I don’t want you to be like me.” In the original series, a passage from Laura’s diary reads: “I love Donna very much, but sometimes I worry that she wouldn’t be around me at all if she knew what my insides were like.” Now Donna has seen Laura’s dark side, the things she does, and still she loves her, still she wants to be there for her.

So Laura returns the favour. She becomes the guardian angel of Twin Peaks, ignoring Cooper’s dream-warning and putting on the ring. She hopes that the evil will die with her. Of course, it doesn’t, because Laura was never the source of that evil to begin with. BOB’s power lies in his ability to be indistinguishable from human evil. As Albert remarks, “Maybe that’s all BOB is. The evil that men do.” BOB was never just Laura’s dark side. Laura ended up as just another victim, with a letter under her fingernail, like Teresa Banks before her and Maddy Ferguson after her.

Regardless, Laura’s death means something. She dies on her own terms, in defiance of beings far beyond her comprehension. Her choice to die is an act of love, born of the sincere belief that the world will be a better place without her.

At the very end of Fire Walk With Me, in the enigmatic purgatory of the Red Room, Laura sees a vision of an angel.

Earlier, Ronette Pulaski saw an angel while in the train car, but that angel actually did help her. Ronette escaped. Laura’s angel is different. It isn’t there to help her. Laura is beyond help now. No, it is the mere fact of seeing this angel that gives Laura comfort. The angel is pure, radiant, seemingly unaffected by the darkness that surrounds it.

The actress who plays Laura’s angel, Lorna MacMillan, has dark, curly hair, and from a distance, is somewhat reminiscent of Donna. (Similarly, Ronette's angel is blonde, possibly to remind us of Laura.) Now, it would have been far too obvious for Moira Kelly to play Laura's angel, and that isn’t really the point. The angel represents the goodness that endures. It represents the same thing as Donna. The innocence that Laura died to protect. In the end, Laura’s only comfort is knowing that, though her death did not bring an end to darkness, it did allow for the continued survival of light. The light flickers on Laura's face in this scene, just like in the Pink Room. There, she was watching Donna flirt with the darkness. Here, she is looking at the angel Donna promised would return.

The track that plays during this scene is “The Voice of Love”. Laura was not ultimately corrupted. Like that angel, she is now a lonely light in a world of darkness. The darkness did not win. Generations of trauma and evil could not make her give in. So why does the angel look like Donna? Because Donna was the best thing about Laura. As much as Donna tries to emulate Laura, both while she is alive and after her death, Laura saves herself, and the world, by emulating Donna. Donna’s selflessness, compassion and bravery are qualities that Laura already has, but she can’t see them in herself. That is why she sees the angel as something outside of herself. I believe the angel is Laura. Of course, Laura could never see herself as an angel.

But she could very easily see Donna as one.

[escapetothelake]

dale & robert for the ship asks?

thanks for the ask!! i had so much fun writing this :) some of it isn't exactly canon compliant, and therefore it's kind of a happier au

who made the first move: robert was pretty aloof with dale at first, and of course, the earliest interactions they had involved dale arresting robert, which doesn't make for a good first impression. however, dale was still kind to/patient with robert, and genuinely wanted to help him figure out what happened to laura. after robert published false accusations, dale read it and decided to meet up with robert, where they got to talking, so i guess you could say it was dale.

who kissed who first: robert did, in a moment of passion.

who started the relationship: oh boy. both of these guys have intimacy issues, so this would be quite the slowburn. despite being a pretty amicable guy, dale kind of distances himself from getting too close to people due to his trauma. robert is more open to it, but still reluctant due to the rough ending of his relationship with laura. i could see robert initiating once dale's put himself out there.

who remembers things: robert keeps a calendar and notes to help him remember things. as busy as he is, dale never forgets the important things, but sometimes trivial things slip his mind. for instance, despite liking to be prepared for whatever he may encounter, he often forgets items as he leaves the house.

nicknames for each other: dale calls robert "bob" or "rob" on a casual basis, but "honey" or "sweetheart" in private. robert often calls dale "detective", "darling", or "my guy".

who is more likely to pay for dinner: dale makes bank as a detective. robert was unemployed for a while, but some time after he published false accusations, he decided to become a full-time author. therefore, dale paid most of the time in the beginning of the relationship, and it continues to be that way, especially because robert does many of the household tasks.

who normally cooks: dale's mother taught him some nice recipes, but cooking often brings back sad memories of her. robert likes to cook, so he usually does it.

who remembers anniversaries: robert, with the help of his calendar. dale also always remembers (though sometimes at the last minute).

what would they get each other for gifts: robert's more of an acts of service kind of guy, so many of his gifts are doing things that make dale's life easier. if he wants to get an easy material gift, he can spring for some good coffee, fancy cigars, or a new shaving kit. dale's more of a gift giver, and he likes to take robert out for a drink or get him a new book. sometimes he'll bring home food or flowers.

most trivial thing they fight over: robert drinking milk straight from the carton. he forgets he's not single sometimes.

how often do they fight: not very often—they're usually both pretty chill—but that doesn't mean they don't fight. most of the fights are caused by dale not caring for himself, dale's alcoholism, and their mutual anxieties over various things. due to their trauma, both feel a need for control, which can also create conflict.

who uses all the hot water: both are used to taking quick showers because they have to get up for work, but robert loves a nice long bath every once and a while.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: dale. detective work has made him great at talking with people on a professional basis. of course, he has to make the call before robert tries to fix it himself and gets injured.

who leaves their stuff around: dale tries to be tidy, but when he gets very invested in a case, this often goes out the window. robert used to be very messy, especially after his breakup with laura, but being at the facility taught him that a clear space is a clear head.

who remembers to buy the milk: if dale's out, he'll do it. sometimes robert drinks straight from the carton. it drives dale bonkers.

who controls the netflix queue: robert watches more tv, but dale really enjoys putting his feet up and enjoying a nice documentary after a long day. i'd say both.

who steals the covers at night: robert usually sleeps perfectly still. dale likes to hold the blankets as though they're a person, often bunching them up and hugging them in his sleep, which leaves robert bare sometimes in the middle of the night. he runs a bit hot, though, so he doesn't mind all that much.

who cusses more: i think dale would, oddly enough. mostly when he's frustrated.

who does most of the cleaning: robert.

what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: relaxing at home. sometimes they just cuddle on the couch and read together.

who’s the cuddler: robert. he's a huge romantic. dale doesn't often initiate cuddles, but i'd say he needs them a little more.

who’s the big spoon/little spoon: big - robert; little - dale. that's often how it goes, but they switch from time to time depending on who needs to be held at the moment.

who’s more dominant: they're both switches imo

who is the dirty talker: robert does it more, but dale... that voice... 😳

what do they do when they’re away from each other: robert has separation anxiety, but he copes with it by doing mundane household tasks, going for walks, or writing. dale.. also has separation anxiety.. but he deals with it by sinking himself into his work.

what would they do if the other one was hurt: dale has anxiety regarding injuries, but he knows minimal first aid due to his job, and can therefore keep a level head when he focuses on doing that. robert would also panic, but i see him as a very protective individual who would stop at nothing to ensure dale's safety.

a headcanon: dale often gets very wrapped up in his work, and therefore sometimes forgets to take care of himself in basic ways, even such as eating and drinking (beyond pot after pot of coffee). after extensive therapy, robert learned to care for himself, and he sometimes imparts this knowledge onto dale. however, telling him "you need to get some rest" doesn't always work, and can even frustrate dale sometimes ("these cases aren't going to solve themselves, robert"), so robert chooses to care for him in more subtle ways. when he left the facility, he decided to preoccupy himself with new wholesome activities such as cooking and cleaning, and he utilizes these skills to keep dale's space clean and bring him a warm sandwich when he's up late at night. these efforts certainly do not go unappreciated.

[laurapalmerz]

listen; i may be a laura/donna shipper till the day i die, BUT---the dynamic between laura/ronette is still endlessly fascinating to me and i can't help but be drawn them as a ship as well. the connection those two had was undeniable, i can't imagine a scenario where ronette DOESN'T have the fattest crush ever on laura. and losing her that night in the train car ruined her mentally. from the nightmare ronette has in the hospital, we're shown just how traumatizing it was to her to witness laura's murder right in front of her, listening to her scream, unable to move to stop BOB/leland from stabbing her. she was barely alive when she finally escaped and was taken for medical attention. she most likely feels survivors guilt, why couldn't it have been her? laura didn't deserve any of this. even worse, it's mentioned a few times in laura's diary that she also was interested in ronette, but didn't act on it since she was already involved with bobby and james. two girls torn apart by tragedy, unable to act on their feelings due to the selfish nature of a disgusting, abusive man.

[greenygal]

Due South s1 recs, part 3

A Hawk and a Handsaw

Each one can depend on a hand extended, by violet_pencil: A Slings and Arrows crossover in which Fraser and Geoffrey talk about madness.

Brother Naked, by ButterflyGhost--Ray had a brother, once.

And do I have grieving Bob stories (with bonus Buck Frobisher)? Why yes, I do:

Duty, by akite

You Won't Do This Alone, by Luzula

Oatmeal and Sliced Banana, by vienna_waits

Oatmeal and Bananas, by ButterflyGhost

***

An Eye for an Eye

Corky, by ButterflyGhost--Dief has some things to say about this episode. Especially the tam o'shanter.

***

The Man Who Knew Too Little

Mother Nature Ate My Shoes, by ButterflyGhost--Just a little more of Ray ranting, because frankly he deserves it here.

Untitled, by Laura Shapiro (Fraser/Ray V)--On the other hand, Ray might get some compensation for having his car blown up.

Cosmic Rays, by catwalksalone (Ray V/Ray K)--And an Ian episode deserves a wild tale, so have this AU about Ray and Ray as space cops, with Ian and Frannie as their ship's crew.

***

The Wild Bunch

Impressions on Apartment 3J, by brynnmck (Fraser/Ray V)--This is a lovely "Six Things" story with incidents throughout the first season; the vignette for this episode is short but quietly beautiful.

Shaken, by Sproid (Fraser/Ray V)--A distressed Fraser seeks comfort from Ray.

Our den (in the middle of the street), by noxelementalist--Ray K meets Dief’s family.

Revving the Engine, by seascribble (Fraser/Ray V)--Some car sex with the new Riv. Not especially related to the ep, but it's my rec list and I'm seizing the moment!

[daryl-and-carol-oh-my]

What's your top 10 ships? 😊

This might be longer than top ten xD I have a lot of ships.

Gotta start with my first ship, before shipping was shipping or even a thing - I call this my OG ship - because I was 9 or so, when this show started which was a Spin off itself, of another 80s show that I also remember watching. These are in no particular order, except these first two OG's.

1

Family Matters. Steve and Laura, my very first ship. I watched this live every TGIF until I was a a teenager when it ended. My ship sailed. I can't express how much I loved Laura and Steve Urkle. <3

2

Beverly Hills, 90210. Always Team Brenda. <3 With the recent passing of Shannen Doherty this is just so sad to ten year old me who started watching 90210 in 1990, seeing all the crap she had to go through, being labeled the way she was, as I was growing and becoming a teenager in the 90s. Second OG ship, love them forever. <3

3

Oh my heart. That Bob <3's Abishsola is ended, I feel like there was so many more seasons of these two, their quirky families and the merging of two cultures. Started it form the beginning, and yep, I was hooked on that first episode.

4

Cobra Kai. Carmen and Johnny. I can't with these two. I love them <33333333

5

Just ugh <3

6

The Mentalist. My lovely Jibson. <3

7

Richonne. <3333 Need I say more?

8

Randall and Beth were the heart of This is Us for me, I wanted more of them <33333333

9

Kate and Philip, from This Is Us. I wanted more of their relationship, it was too rushed for me, I was so sad lol. I shipped them so hard though.

10

And of course, Caryl. <3333333333333

Honorable Mentions

-

Morgan and Grace.

-

Stabler and Benson

And I have so many more. This is hardly the tip of the iceberg.

Thank you so much for asking me!!!!!!! Sorry it took for ever lol Carylering ON<3333333333333333333333333333

[sharkboyandlavalieb]

HBOWAR Fandom Q/A

Tagged by: myself cause I just made this up

Name/ Alias: Laura

Country: Canada

Which of the series have you seen - BOB, P, GK, MOTA:

ALL!!!!!!!! (currently on episode 2 of MOTA)

Use an emoji or ONE word to describe your favourite character in an hbowar miniseries: ✂️

Ultimate ship (if any): I want to say webgott...the hbo girlies expect webgott...but I gotta go with baberoe

Favourite fic (yes I made this q&a just to get fic recs): it's speirton

A New Mode of Living - Perpetual Motion

What are some ways you interact in the fandom?: I create graphics and textposts/q&a for band of brothers mostly & love to interact in people's inbox or comments. I would love to span out to the other fandoms as well

Favourite colour: Green

Current favourite song: July - Noah Cyrus

What would you say if I held up a can of peaches?:

"ITs UNiTeD STatES ProPERTY!!!!"

Complete this sentence: “Where the hell is ___ company?!” Fox bby they're always missing

Other accounts or socials?:

My main is @paintedgray and my other fandom is @canofpeachess

List one other fandom member (mutual or a follower you admire) for some appreciation: @david-sharkthot-webster for making content and tags that make me laugh on my darkest days

Tags: @lamialamia @angelfruittree @vanellq77 @dustyjumpwjngs @saturnwisteria @grumpy-liebgott @hanniewinnix @footprintsinthesxnd @pigeonlogan

[bethanyactually]

9 people you'd like to get to know better

I was tagged by the lovely @pixiestickers--thanks!

3 Ships: Nancy/Ace from the CW's Nancy Drew, Bellamy/Clarke from The 100, Ben/Devi from Never Have I Ever

I'm listing ones I've most recently read fic about, but really the one that's living in my brain rent-free is Nancy/Ace, as anyone who's followed me for the past couple years is unsurprised to hear. Bellamy/Clarke is an old ship but I've recently been comfort-reading a lot of @ponyregrets's excellent fic. And Ben/Devi are blorbos-in-law written beautifully by @catty-words, whose fic I've recently beta-read.

First Ship Ever: uhhh what metric are we using? The first pair I ever remember thinking, 'they're both so nice, they should get married' about was Bob and Linda from Sesame Street, when I was about 4. When I was a bit older, I watched Remington Steele with my mom and thought Laura and Steele should definitely kiss, partly because my mom thought so. David and Maddie on Moonlighting were probably the first ship I could rightfully call my blorbos. The first ship that made me think, "I bet someone on the internet is talking about them," was Mulder/Scully. The first ship I read fic for was Chuck/Sarah from Chuck.

Last Song:

Last Movie: I think it was Elemental, which we watched in Oregon with my best friend and her family when we were visiting a couple weeks ago.

Currently Reading: Re-listening to the Murderbot series in anticipation of System Collapse being released next week, currently in the middle of Exit Strategy. Just re-read @ponyregrets's excellent The 100/The Good Place fusion series, Knocking on Heaven's Door.

Reading The Canterbury Tales with Elliora for school. And we just started reading A Midsummer Night's Dream out loud and it's been SO FUN because Elliora is loving it. We're reading it fairly slowly, with lots of stopping to discuss what things mean, and she finds it hilarious how similar the sentiments of these 16th-century characters are to humans today. She especially liked the lines, "You have her father’s love, Demetrius; Let me have Hermia’s. Do you marry him," when I explained that was basically Lysander saying, "If you like Hermia's dad so much, why don't you marry him." (My kid is enjoying Shakespeare!!!)

Currently Watching: Star Trek Lower Decks, perpetually rewatching Nancy Drew and Elementary, just started a Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency rewatch with @pressdbtwnpages that we're gonna get back to any day now, need to watch like the last four D20 series while I crochet this blanket I'm about to start working on for my best friend's sister.

Currently Consuming: Coffee

Currently Craving: a visit with friends in California I haven't seen in entirely too long

low-key, no-pressure tagging Corissa, Chash, and Kelsey since I mentioned them in this post, along with @demigodofhoolemere, @kiran-wears-science-blues, @somethinginthestatic, @mumbledletters, @the-errant-bard, @pepperf, and anyone else who'd like to do this!

[oswednesday]

ive said it in a different post im pretty sure but like bill cipher is both laura palmer and bob like whatever vision was set out to make him bob is just like not what the show ended up as, he is the victim of his own hands he is also the specter of violence he is the driving force that pulls dale cooper who is ford, and dipper respectively and it feels like the cost of it being on disney is mabel's storyline not being as obvi an audrey horne as shes clearly meant to be dgdfd not in like a Shipping way kill yourself both ways but in the way shes meant to be the next victim of the truth about reality and Liberated in this way meant to repeat the cycle of this violence you can only experience Once and how she and bill are like comparable in that theyre both outsiders but like mabel is so loved thats kind of over looked and ultimately why stuff falls apart in the story but also in The Text of the matter oh hum

[callmegaith]

art trade with @pelyach of the best lovebirds where everything is fine, they're happy, and nothing goes wrong 🥺💜

[taffybuns]

Another Rusty Lake fan appears! Dale/Laura/Bob polyamory supremacy forever <3

sdhfgjkhk yess hello tho i haven't really thought about shipping.. except maybe owlcrow bc old man lake yaoi is fun

[hoffstrap-yuri]

Not What I Could Have

ao3 // masterlist

*Summary: Her first instinct as a doctor was to feel for a pulse even though she knew it was in vain. She ripped off a piece of her shirt and shoved it into the wound. It would do nothing for Amanda but she didn’t want to see her love covered in so much blood.

*Rating: T for Teen (Saw Canon Typical Stuff)

*Content/Tags: Needle and Chain, Referenced Self-Harm, Angst, Gender or Sex Swap, Alternate Universe- Gender Changes, Character Study, WLW Romance, Hurt No Comfort

*Status: Sequel to 'Not What I Needed'/Complete

Author's Note: A little on the shorter side but I've missed this ship a lot and this idea's been stewing in my head since the first time I watched Saw 3. So enjoy!

Laura glanced at the analog clock on the corner of her desk. Tonight was the night. Two concurrent games were going on as she sat at the hospital in an uneasy quiet and tapped the edge of her desk with a pen. It was Amanda’s first real game without John having a hand, guiding his apprentice like he had during the nerve gas house.

Laura just had to be patient with the results. In a fell swoop, one of her most hated co-workers would die and the woman she loved would be the grand successor to Jigsaw’s legacy. It was Amanda’s dream come true. To have John’s attention and acknowledgment. Laura didn’t care to be the successor of John’s. She would go to the ends of heaven and hell to serve Amanda as she saw fit. She could see Amanda in her head on her metaphorical throne, and Laura waiting on her hand and feet.

She pushed her chair away from her desk and got up to go for a walk around the hospital. She needed to get her mind off this game. She grabbed her cane and did a lap around her department as a warm-up to the walk down to her car. The digital clock in the car read it’d been thirty minutes since the game had started. A quarter of the way done… She shouldn’t be anxious about this. Amanda had assured her that she had thought of every angle, considered every twist that John would have predicted. She turned the keys in the ignition and booked it to her apartment. Since having been divorced from Allison, Laura lived alone in a small place. It felt impersonal, more of a space to sleep than it was a home. She didn’t turn the TV on when she crossed the threshold of the dwelling. She sat in the moonlight trickling in through the windows on a couch that could fit a family if she just hadn’t made one too many mistakes. Her head bobbed as her eyes threatened to shut for the night. She shook her head once more and used the end of her mobility aid to pull her work bag towards her, rummaging through to find some paper work she needed to fill out a treatment plan. Her hand rubbed up against a piece of crumpled paper and pulled it out of the bag.

‘My dear Amanda…’ Clearly John’s handwriting. Laura’s eyes skimmed the document quickly before getting up as fast as she could and back into her car. She punched the gas pedal and drove towards the workshop where she had kissed Amanda for the first time. She ran a red light, nearly hitting someone but narrowly managed to avoid it as the thoughts of her love consumed her. Still burning with rage, she parked her car and busted the door in on her way down the stairs. Some loud trap went off as she entered, using the sound to cover her as she crept through the warehouse. As she entered the open floor, she saw Mark standing at the door. Her breath hitched in the back of her throat as she approached him. She’d never win in a fair fight against the other apprentice, but she felt the adrenaline slowly start to course through her veins. At the very least she could get a bite into his jugular before she got thrown across the room. She put a hand on Mark’s shoulder before letting a breath escape between gritted teeth,

“Move.”

Without missing a beat he replied, “You know what’s behind there. You don’t need to see it.” If Laura were stupid, she’d think his words came from a place of concern.

“I said, move.” She repeated herself

“Laura. It’s not going to give you the closure you think it will…”

“I don’t fucking care.” Rather than keep an even voice her screams rang out across the empty warehouse. Mark finally turned around to face her and let his hand slip off the handle of the door. He didn’t move but Laura rustled the handle behind him, getting the door to open behind him.

“You have fifteen minutes.” Mark finally said. “Cops are going to storm this place looking for either survivors or victims. I would move fast if I were you.”

She rushed into the dark room and felt something soak through the seams in her shoes. It had to be blood. She fumbled with the light switch and saw the carnage before her. She ignored the body of her former coworker and her husband. Ignored the man from which she took orders from for a year now and dropped her cane, running towards the crumpled mess of flesh on the floor that was once Amanda Young. She held the other woman close to her chest. Her first instinct as a doctor was to feel for a pulse even though she knew it was in vain. She ripped off a piece of her shirt and shoved it into the wound. It would do nothing for Amanda but she didn’t want to see her love covered in so much blood. Her hands started to shake as she swept the pieces of Amanda’s hair that had stuck to her face from sweat and her tears fell onto the ever growing cold skin.

“What happened?” She asked the silent air, “You told me it was going to be fine… you promised. You placed all your faith in John… Mark!” She called out for the other apprentice, hoping he might have an answer. Her cries went unanswered for the man and she pilfered through the pockets in Amanda’s jeans. Nothing. Nothing. Paper… She carefully set Amanda’s corpse back down onto the floor and unfurled the folded note.

‘Amanda. You were with Cecil…’ She skimmed the note with haste that she had read John’s note. It was Mark’s block writing. ‘… I will tell John what you did.’

“You.” The letter trembled in her hand as she got to her feet and spun to face the deceased Jigsaw Killer. “This is your fault.” He couldn’t respond to her. Smile in a twisted satisfaction as she wailed for the woman she couldn’t have. Taunt her with the fact that they both knew Amanda would always be out of Laura’s reach. “You pushed Amanda. You always pushed her too far! You sent me to scold her for you when she was hurting herself because she thought she couldn’t live up to your expectations! She never stood a chance, did she you sick son of a bitch?!”

She reached out in anger for the first glass object her hands could reach. She launched it at John’s head, just narrowly missing her former mentor. She didn’t know if she had it in him to desecrate him after all she had put him through when they were just patient and doctor. As much as she felt disgust, anger, disdain even for the man she knew that he had felt that tenfold for her. She took another beaker that laid on the counter and crushed it in the grasp of her hand, gritting her teeth as the shards dug into her skin. It drew a deep crimson wash from her skin and mingled with Amanda’s blood on the concrete of the floor.

“It’s not fair. Why do you always take them away from me?! First it was Eve…” She bit down on her lip as she remembered the woman in the bathroom across from her. She was younger than Laura was when she had gotten into med school and she had barely begun to live. Amanda wasn’t much older, but had gotten even less out of life. “Now. Her…” Her eyes darted back to the other woman who was the object of her affection for another blink in the stream of time. She sat back down next to Amanda and wove their fingers together. Laura held her head up against her chest. She was ice cold, her brain had probably shut down while Laura screamed at John.

“I’m so sorry Amanda…” She whispered to herself, “I should have been here for you. I…” She shook her head and with an aching in her chest left her lover’s body at the scene. She didn’t have the strength to carry Amanda in her condition to get her out of the crime scene. Somewhere she could respectfully say goodbye to her fellow apprentice. She reached across the floor and grabbed her cane to get herself back up. In one last outburst of rage against the whole game, she swung the wooden thing into the center of Lynn’s husband as if he were a pinata. Fresh blood came spurting out from his mouth as the impact of the cane definitely snapped a rib in chest. She hit him once more for good measure and looked over at Lynn. “You thought you were better than me. Now look at where you and your useless husband are. You stupid bitch.”

She walked out of the door and sealed it behind her, pressing her head against the unfeeling metal and shut her eyes. She didn’t want to abandon Amanda but she had no choice this time. She ran from the house of horrors and got to her car, driving home as fast as the vehicle would take her. When she got back to her apartment she cried for a bit. As if on cue, she heard the sound of heels in the hallway walking past her door. They stop directly in front of her and a piece of paper slides under the door. The footsteps resumed and grew more distant. When she heard the shoes no longer she approached the door, sliding the paper towards her using her cane. She leaned down and picked it up.

‘Hello Doctor Gordon,

As you by now know, Amanda’s game was rigged. It was Mark who rigged her game, replacing the letter intended for her with his own. John fed Hoffman information in order to trigger Amanda and make her fail her test. This is never the outcome I wanted for her, even with the knowledge of what she did to Gideon. I cared about her recovery and who she would become after she was clean even though I seem distant from her up until now. I give you this information in hopes that it should help ease whatever guilt you may have over what John has planned to come next. Act as John would, and you will be the successor he always intended.

-Jill’

“Mark…” Laura shredded the paper in her hands, “Your days are numbered. If you ever cross me again, you’ll be begging for death.”

She would succeed where her love had failed. Death creating something new with a grotesque and twisted purpose. She would carry on the name, Jigsaw for the both of them.

[greypetrel]

Ten Songs Faves on Repeat

Aaaah thank you @underneathestars!! ✨✨✨

Ok, so, since I lastly done one few days ago and I don't want any double up, I hope you won't mind if I decline it with "Long time faves I always listen to on repeat when they come out".

You asked what kind of music I like best and here you go, I have the music taste of a boomer/hipster.

In the playlist, from 56 to 65.

Bat Out of Hell - Meat Loaf (that whole album, honestly, it was hard choosing between this and Paradise by the Dashboard Lights)

Rebel Rebel - David Bowie

Going Out in Style - Dropkick Murphys

Shelter from the Storm - Bob Dylan (his favourite of mine, lyrics-wise, is Changing of the Guards, but this other is the one I listen to the most. Live version it's just… So heartfelt GH. A Nobel prize well earned if you ask me, an asshole may he be but damn he can write)

Gloria (In Excelsis Deo) - Patti Smith

Fat Bottomed Girl - Queen (choosing just one song from them is horrible, but this is…!)

Guns and Ships - Daveed Diggs, Hamilton cast

ABC Cafè (Red and Black) - Les Misèrables (I put the movie one because Aaron Tveit. I have a pavlovian reflex by now, you say "Red" I reply "THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN".)

Ari Ari - Bloodywood

Alas I Cannot Swim - Laura Marling feat Mumford & Sons

Tagging... Ah, dunno. @demandthedoodles @salsedine @buridanshorse @n7viper if you want to share your all time favourites, and YOU, you who are reading.

[callsign-magnolia]

I Hope You Dance // Ch. 15

MATURE CONTENT (18+)

A/N: This is cross posted to my Wattpad, so if this seems familiar that is why!

TW: Mental abuse, emotional abuse, slight physical abuse, death and loss.

Description: When Caila meets Rooster, sparks fly. But, she's already married, to a man who she thought loved her, and won't let her go. Rooster will fight for her, he just has to convince Caila to fight for herself.

Word Count: 6.5k

Chapter 14 | Masterlist

We stepped off the plane, all of us feeling light and airy. Not only with the success of the mission, but that we all came home. "So, you two staying in San Diego?" Bob asked and we nodded. "You guys?" I asked as we looked around. "I'm heading out to Texas in a few days, gonna go see the family and see if our nephew decided to make his appearance. Laura hasn't texted me back and neither has Jameson." I laughed at Jake's frustration. "Maybe she's in labor now." He chuckled. "Man, I hope so." "Well the rest of us are using our two week leave to go see family. I know I'm going back to San Francisco for awhile to see my parents and brother." Bob nodded. "My family is at my aunt and uncles ranch in Montana, so I'm gonna go surprise them." I smiled at him. "Well, we'll miss you guys. Why don't we all go to the Hard Deck tomorrow, one last round?" 

Everyone agreed as we walked to our cars. "You didn't tell them we were going to Atlanta." I shook my head. "I don't want to get hopes up. Aaron seems to have everyone in his pocket, including the judge." I turned to look at him, standing at the back of the jeep. "But I did want to talk to you about the hearing." I looked to him and he smiled at me, taking my bag and tossing it in the jeep. "Can we do it later? I really want to get home and just be with you." I pursed my lips and nodded. It was only 9 a.m., it could wait for a few hours. "Go take a shower at your house, do whatever it is you need to do and then come over?" I nodded as we got into our separate cars. 

It was a relaxing ride home, I was ready to see Dahlia and then we could go over to Rooster's and curl up on the couch. I pulled into the driveway, Rooster not far behind as I grabbed my bag from the jeep. It was quiet when I unlocked the door. "Dahls!" I yelled out as I shut and locked the door, but she was nowhere to be found. I furrowed my brows as I walked back to the kitchen, setting my bag in the laundry room. As I turned into the kitchen I saw a large notepad on the counter, writing on it. It was a letter from Penny telling me how good Dahlia was and that Amelia is now begging her for a dog. But what caught my attention was the scribble at the bottom. 

Your mom helped me write this song, and I was wondering if you could record it for me? It would fit for you and Rooster as well. Don't bother paying me, just record this for me.

Love, Penny

I read over the song, it was good, really good. I pulled out my phone and shot Penny a text. 

Consider the song recorded. Do you happen to have Dahlia?

She probably has her, took her on a walk or something. I pulled all of my clothes out of the duffel and tossed them into the washer, stripping myself of the clothes I had on before starting it and rushing upstairs to shower. I took my time, enjoying the hot water and so happy to use my own shampoo, conditioner and body wash. As I got out, I threw my hair up into a towel, walking out to my room. I pulled out a baggy t-shirt and some soft cotton shorts before changing, sighing in relief at the bagginess. I squeezed more water out of my hair, just enjoying the quiet. Ships can be so noisy, everywhere, no place is truly quiet. I made sure my hair was no longer dripping before putting two braids in it to keep it out of my face. I looked at my phone, hoping to see a text from Penny. Nothing. So I tried calling and it went to voicemail.

I went back downstairs, tossing my clothes into the dryer and hanging up whatever needed to be hung. I grabbed my keys and phone before walking out the door, marching over to Rooster's. As I stepped onto his porch he swung the door open. "I need your help." He furrowed his brows. "What is it?" I rubbed my face, worrying slightly. "Dahlia is not in the house, and I can't get a hold of Penny. Could you try and call her? See if Mav would?" He stepped back. "Well Dahlia is here." My eyebrows shot up. "What?!" He moved and she rushed over, her nails clicking on the floor. I bent down to the floor, hugging her neck. "Thank god, but why is she here?" I turned to look at Rooster who closed the door. He nodded his head towards the stairs. 

"Hey sis." I shot up and ran towards Jameson, pulling him into a tight hug. "Oh my god! You're here!" I quickly let go, stepping back. "What about Laura?" He chuckled and looked towards the couch, I could see the back of her head, her blonde hair in curls as her shoulders bounced up and down. I slowly stepped over, walking around the couch, gasping as I saw the little boy in her arms. "Oh my god." She smiled at me before looking at the little boy in her arms. "Is that?" She nodded, sitting him up some so I could see his little face. His eyes were a deep, bright blue, they seemed so big as he looked around at everything. "Say hi to your aunt Mags." She cooed and I bit my lip. "What did y'all end up namin' him?" I asked as I sat next to her.

"Here. Wanna hold him?" I nodded enthusiastically as she passed him over, I leaned back into the couch as his little head rested in the crook of my arm. "JJ." I smiled at her. "Jameson Jacob Motley." I felt the couch dip next to me, Rooster taking up the space as he threw his arm around me. "You had to boost his ego?" Laura chuckled. "Well, he is half of the reason I met my husband." I listened to the conversation, but my eyes were glued to the little baby in my arms. His eyes slowly drifted shut and his little legs stilled as he fell asleep. "He's adorable." Rooster said, reaching over and rubbing his thumb along JJ's cheek. I heard a snap and looked up, seeing J had taken a picture of us. "That. That is a good one." 

"When did you have him?" Laura looked at J, chewing on her cheek. "Four days ago." My eyes widened. "And you came out here? Why?" She chuckled. "Because you and Jake are out here. Everyone else has met him, we really wanted you two to see him." I smiled at her, pulling the little boy closer. "So, Hangman has seen him?" She shook her head. "We wanted to surprise him but we haven't figured out how to do that yet." I looked to Rooster. "Hand me my phone?" He leaned over and grabbed it off the table, handing it over. "Thank you." I said, leaning up to kiss him. I pulled up Hangman's number. "I could call him, see if he'll agree to supper?" Laura nodded and took JJ from me, before I stood and walked into the kitchen. 

"Hello?" "Hey, Hangman. I got a question." He hummed as I leaned against the counter. "What's up?" I pursed my lips. "Would you wanna get supper with Rooster and I tonight? As a thank you for saving both of our asses." He chuckled. "Is Bradshaw buying?" I grinned and rolled my eyes. "We both are, yes." "I will absolutely go. I will take any opportunity for Bradshaw to tell me just how great I am." I chuckled. "Meet us at Del Frisco's at six?" "I'll be there. Bye Magnolia." I chuckled. "Bye Bagman." I hung up as Rooster walked in. "We are treating Hangman to dinner at Del Frisco's at six." He quirked a brow. "Treating?" I nodded. "Yep, figured it was the only way to convince him." He nodded as he got in the fridge, pulling out two water, opening mine before handing it to me. 

"How did you get them here?" He smiled as he pulled me into his chest. "Well, I told your mom to let me know if they could come back and surprise you when we got back. So imagine my surprise when she emailed me and said that Jameson, Laura and the baby were coming too. I gave her the key the night before we left." I furrowed my brows. "Then where are my parents?" He shook his head. "Jameson said something about your mom going to the mall to buy some baby clothes, since JJ was born so tiny." I chuckled. "He is little isn't he?" I asked as I leaned my head on his chest. "You okay?" I looked up at him, brows furrowed as his hand rubbed my back gently. 

"With the baby?" I sighed. "You know, Laura found out she was pregnant about three months after my accident. It was hard to hear at first, on the outside I was excited, but inside I felt like it wasn't fair. Over time I learned that it was okay, it is. I was worried how I would feel seeing this baby, I was worried I would... break down, ruin it for everyone. I was worried I would upset Laura and Jameson for starting their own family. But, I feel good, like really good." He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. "Your time will come, honey. I promise." I nodded. "Our time will." He smiled at me, pressing his lips to mine softly, in a sweet kiss. I wrapped my arms around his waist as one hand rested on my back and the other held the counter, we stood there for a minute, kissing and just being.

We broke apart hearing the front door open. "CAILA!" My mom screamed and I rushed out, being engulfed in a hug by her. "Thank god!" I hugged her back as she held me close. "Bradley get over here!" He walked over as mom held both of us. "I'm so glad y'all are okay!" Mom said kissing our cheeks. "We are too." My dad came over, pulling me into a hug. "Hey, sweetie." I hugged him tightly. "Hey, daddy." He let go and pulled Rooster into a man hug. "Okay, we have dinner with Hangman at six." Laura cheered as she fed JJ. "Isn't he precious?" Mom asked as she came over, placing a hand on my back. "He really is." She rubbed my back. "You okay?" I nodded. "I'm actually doing, really, really good mama." 

~~~

It was noon and Rooster and I were curled up on the couch, Dahlia snoring away in her bed. Laura, Jameson and JJ sitting on the loveseat, my parents were in Rooster's guest room taking a nap. JJ started getting fussy, and poor Laura has already fed him, burped him, changed him, everything a mother could, and now her and Jameson were just trying to stay awake. Being new and first time parents had them exhausted, especially since JJ is only four days old. "You want me to try?" I asked as Laura bounced him with her eyes closed and Jameson kept picking his head up. "No, no. We got him." I chuckled and got up, walking over. "An hour. Go back to my house, take a nap in the spare room. We'll take him and he will be fine." Laura looked to me then to JJ. "I know it's hard to let him go for even a minute. But you can't be the best parents if you don't take care of yourselves." 

She stared at JJ for a few minutes, before slowly handing him over. "My keys are by the door, seriously. Take a nap." She nodded and pulled Jameson up, who grumbled at his interrupted sleep. They stopped at the door, looking back as I bounced JJ in my arms, his cries growing quiet. "See, we'll be okay." They both sighed before walking out and closing the door. I grabbed JJ's diaper bag and started up the stairs. "Where ya goin'?" Rooster asked from the couch, his voice a little deeper from the nap he had. "Bedroom, it's got more room for us." He stood up, walking over. "I'll join." I chuckled as we walked upstairs. I set his diaper bag on the dresser and laid in the bed, on top of the covers. I laid JJ on his back, Rooster coming over and laying on the other side of JJ. He smiled at me as I watched JJ, his big eyes wandering the room. I laid my hand on his chest, rubbing it gently. His little eyes drifting closed again. "Hey." I looked up at him. "I love you, pretty girl. So much." I smiled as he leaned over and kissed my forehead, carefully throwing his arm over my waist. 

~~~

We all got dressed and headed out to dinner, as I told Hangman, Rooster and I agreed that we would pay for his dinner. It's the least we could really do. We arrived and I sat as Rooster pulled out my chair, him taking the seat next to me, across from my mom and J, Laura taking an end seat so they could place the carrier between them. "I bet twenty bucks he cries." I said and Jameson smirked. "I bet he doesn't." I held out my hand. "You're on." He shook it just as I caught sight of Hangman, he had on white button down with black slacks and a black blazer. "Alright Bradshaw time to tell me how ama-holy shit." He said as he caught sight of Laura and J. That megawatt grin seemed to multiply as he walked over, pulling her into a tight hug, kissing her head as she pulled away. He looked down, seeing an absence of belly. 

"Oh my god, you had him?" She nodded as Jameson pulled JJ out of the carrier, holding him close. "You wanna meet him?" He nodded ferociously, so much so I was worried he'd give himself whiplash. Jameson got up, carefully handing over his son. Jake admired him, brushing JJ's blonde hair out of his face. "Hey, buddy. I'm your uncle Jake." JJ was asleep but his little hand still curled around Jake's finger. "What did you name him?" Laura bit her lip to keep her smile down as she grabbed Jameson's hand. "We call him JJ, but his name is Jameson Jacob." Jake's head snapped up, staring at the two parents. "A-are you-" He sniffled and I smirked. "Are you serious?" Laura nodded. "We wanted to name him after you because, well, without you and Caila, he wouldn't be here." 

"So does this mean if you have a daughter she'll be named after me?" I quipped and mom threw a straw wrapper at my head, making everyone laugh. Jameson sighed and pulled out a twenty, sliding it over. "You win." I chuckled and took it. "I'll give you the fifty I owe you later." Jameson had a surprised look on his face. "Why do you owe her money?" Jake laughed. "We bet when Laura would have the baby. I said after the mission, she said during." My mom gasped. "Caila Amelia!" The entire table laughed at that.

~~~

It was the next day and I was packing for my trip back to Atlanta, I was going to be gone a week so I only packed what I needed. I'll be staying with mom so I can leave all the hair care products at home. "Hey honey, uh black slacks or gray?" I sighed, I forgot to talk to him yesterday. "Hun?" He asked as he walked in, seeing me froze in front of my suitcase. "You okay?" He asked as I stood, running my hands through my hair. "Yeah, I just... can we talk?" His face dropped and I sighed. "It's not bad I just, I wanted to talk yesterday but then you surprised me and I just really need to talk to you." He nodded and sat on the bench at the end of my bed. 

I paced for a second before looking at him. "I think you should stay here." His eyes widened as he stood up. "I think I should go with you." I shook my head, gently pushing him back down in the seat. "I think you should stay. Not because I don't want you there, because hell, I'd feel better if you were. But this hearing is a shit show and they are coming up with bullshit excuses to not give me the divorce. Hell, to keep him from going to prison for trying to kill me." He leaned back, running his hands down his face. "I don't want them using you showing up without a subpoena against me. They'll try to drag out this divorce longer and Aaron will just blow shit up." He shook his head. "I'm already involved in all this, maybe if I tell them everything I know, they'll see sense." 

I shook my head, pacing again. "They'll throw it out. They have been finding every excuse to throw out any evidence. All the pictures I have of bruises, cuts, injuries they threw out." He shook his head standing. "But I'm involved in this too, he was having me followed Mags." I shook my head. "And they haven't even brought that up, they keep dodging it! Rooster if you show up without a subpoena, this entire thing will implode. It will solidify the cheating allegations he's made, they'll throw out everything and it will have all been for nothing." He shook his head, grabbing my upper arms gently. "Mags, I don't want you in a room with him alone." I nodded. "I won't be, it's a court room full of people." 

"People who are on his side." I sighed, throwing my head back. "Mags, please I-" "Dammit, Rooster! Please! For the love of god, just stay here!" He furrowed his brows, stepping back. "Mags, I don't trust him." I nodded. "I don't either. But Rooster, we can't make this any worse than it is!" He rolled his bottom lip into his mouth, his fingers interlocking behind his head. "I just-I don't..." He started and I sighed, feeling bad for making him feel this way. "Every time you get near him, he hurts you and I swear to god Caila. If I get a call that he hurt you, I will be doing time for murder and I will smile in my fucking mugshot!" I nodded. "I know, but Rooster-" "No buts! I'm not letting you anywhere near him without me!" I scoffed. "What?" He snapped, turning to me. "You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do, Rooster. I'm going to this hearing, without you!" I raised my voice at him. "No you're not!" He yelled back. "You're not going near him without me standing between you two!"

"I can't keep arguing about this Rooster! You're staying here and that's that!" "Like hell I am!" I balled up the shirt I had in my hands. "Dammit Rooster! Just leave! I can't deal with you right now! I'm trying to divorce my fucking husband and you're here whining about not being there! In case you didn't notice, my problem is a little bigger than yours! So take your ass, back to your house before I haul you outta here myself!" He shook his head as he stormed towards the door. "Oh, so we're comparing problems now? How about the problem that the girl I'm in love with is married to some one else?!" My rage had been building, and it finally popped. "GET OUT!" I said picking up one of my heels and launching it towards the wall opposite of him. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" He didn't even seem fazed as he walked downstairs and out my front door, slamming it behind him. 

I sniffled as tears built up in my eyes, I sat on the bed, burying my face in my hands. "Fuck." I cried. "Baby? What happened?" My mom asked as she rushed in, taking me in her arms. "I screwed up mama. Why do I keep screwing up?" She shook her head as she kissed my temple. "No. No, you didn't mess up. This is a bump in the road, one that you two will get over. Your father and I have arguments like these, and we've made it all these years. You will too." I shook my head. "What if he doesn't forgive me?" She chuckled. "Baby, you will look back on this moment one day and laugh about it."

~~~

I didn't see Rooster the rest of the night, and he never replied to my texts. Phoenix did say he arrived at the Hard Deck like we discussed but I couldn't bring myself to go, I just couldn't. So instead I stayed in bed with a book and some tea, keeping the volume on on my phone. Just in case he called. He never did.

The next morning when we left for the airport I saw that the Bronco was gone. It was seven a.m. and we have fourteen day leave. Where would he be? Unless... he never came home. It sat with me the entire ride to the airport. Dad returned the rental as we waited. The thought of Rooster being out somewhere all night worried me, the thought of him possibly being with someone else hurt more. It sat in my brain, driving me insane. Insane enough I picked up the phone to call him and still got no answer. So I called Phoenix.

"Hey, Magnolia. What's up?" She asked, I could tell she just woke up and was stretching by the sound of her voice. "Sorry to wake you, 'Nix. But I have to know... did-did Rooster leave the bar last night? With someone else?... With a girl?" She scoffed and chuckled. "That's rich. Mag, he was so tore up over your argument, he had water all night and left early saying he was going to go on some long run this morning. I think he said he was going to start at six?" She said as if she was trying to recall. "So he left alone?" I asked as a few tears built up. "And early. Magnolia, he loves you he would never do that." I nodded as I fell into my seat next to Laura. "God, Phoenix I feel like shit! First I yell at him then I think he's be unfaithful?" 

"No. Magnolia, like you told him. You're still navigating a healthy relationship, and doubts will come. Just know he would never hurt you like that!" I nodded. "Okay. Okay." I heard her moan in relief, probably stretching. "Well, I have a late flight. So, I'm going to go back to sleep for awhile." I nodded. "Of course, sorry for waking you, but thank you for reassuring me." She giggled. "Anytime. It's what I live for." We exchanged goodbyes and hung up. "Feel better?" Laura asked and I nodded. "Yeah. Now if I can just get him to talk to me."

After we landed I tried calling him again, it rang a few times and I thought it would go to voicemail, but he picked up on the last ring. "Hey." It was so good to hear his voice, I didn't realize how much I missed it. "Hey, hun. You got a minute?" I asked as I stepped away from my parents. "Yeah, yeah I do." I took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, Rooster. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I just-I'm so damn scared this is gonna go sideways and I didn't want them to use you against me. I'm so tired of him using you against me." It was quiet for a minute. "I just worry about you. I can't stand you being on the other side of the country, running the risk of him hurting you." I nodded. 

"I know. God, honey, I know. But I need you to see where I'm coming from, the more problems that are caused, the longer these hearings will take." I said as I wiped the single tear that slipped out. "I know, and I should've told you I understood. But I also need you to see where I'm coming from. When I told you that I wanted to  be between you and anyone who wanted to hurt you, I meant it." A giggle escaped my lips. "I love you, you know that right?" He chuckled. "I do, and I love you too, pretty girl. Just keep me updated? Please?" I nodded, hearing the worry in his voice. "Yeah, I will." "I love you, pretty girl. I'll see you when you land next week." I nodded. "I love you too. And please, go see Mav since he keeps asking. It'll do you guys some good to really hash this out." He chuckled. "Yes, ma'am." I bit my lip. "Bye, Roo." "Bye, Mags." 

~~~

It was the next day and I walking next to my lawyer, Jerry, heading for the courtroom. My phone buzzed and I saw I had another text from Rooster. Since our call yesterday he has sent me a text every hour on the hour. 

I love you, pretty girl! You got this! 💕

I smiled at my phone, Jerry eyeing me from the corner of his eye. 

I love you too, honey! Thank you!

And call me as soon as you get out. Just wanna make sure you're okay.

I sighed and turned off my phone. Rooster has been driving me nuts. I know he means well and he's just worried, but the constant stream of texts and calls make me want to ram my head in the wall, and if I don't respond quick enough he's blowing up my phone, calling my parents and threatening to fly out. As we walked in and sat down I saw Aaron sitting at the table with his lawyer next to us. "How's Bradley?" Jerry asked, making my face heat up. "He's doing really well." He nodded. "And how does he feel about all of this?" I shook my head with a sigh. "He still hasn't gotten a subpoena, Jer." He scoffed and shook his head as I adjusted the black blazer I had on. 

"Not surprising, Caila this hearing is a joke. They are doing everything they can to get this turned in his favor. If you want, I think we should try to get this moved out of state." I raised my brows. "You can do that?" He nodded. "But it's hard, very hard. It's going to be a lot more fighting, you're actually going to have to get up on the stand and speak." I shook my head. "I'll give up flying if it means I get this divorce and I'll quit the navy all together to have him tossed in prison for all the shit he did." 

"All rise for the honorable judge Mathis." I held my eye roll, not wanting Judge Mathis to see and put off this trial. He came in and sat down, a balding, older fat man with giant black glasses. One that I detested more than anything right now. "Ugh, this again." I bunched my pencil skirt in my hand, trying to calm my nerves. "Mrs. Wilder. I just don't see why you would want a divorce." I pursed my lips. "There's no evidence of adultery, domestic violence and obviously not abandonment since he is sitting right there, fighting for this marriage." I looked up at the ceiling to keep the tears in. "Your honor, there is evidence of abuse-" He held up his finger and shook his head. "I did not call on you, and the evidence you presented is not valid." I slammed my hands on the table. "And why not?!" 

"Calm down, Mrs. Wilder!" He yelled as Jerry grabbed my arm. "It's because you personally took those pictures. The courts cannot accept them." I shook my head. "Now, onto other orders of business. Mrs. Wilder, you said that when you thought Mr. Wilder here was going to drive you off the mountain you grabbed the steering wheel?" I nodded. "Yes, your honor." He stared at the papers for a moment. "How do we know you didn't yank the wheel? You want out of this marriage so badly, how do we not know if you tried to kill him and not the other way around." My face dropped as tears flooded my eyes. "Your honor, my client has proven her career and her family are too important to her. Why would she risk her life that way? If she wanted to kill Mr. Wilder I assure you there are other ways that would not endanger her." 

"Her family is so important to her? Mrs. Wilder, I see here that you were pregnant at the time of the accident. Is that correct?" My breath caught in my throat. "She was, yes." The judge shook his head. "I asked your client Mr. Polinski." Jerry sighed, having so much patience with this. "Yes, your honor." He scoffed. "If family is so important to you, why would you put your baby in danger like that? You are the reason your baby is not here, the reason Mr. Wilder's baby is not here." I shook him my seat, trying to hold in the tears. Aaron never knew about the pregnancy, not until this moment. "I think that's all for today. Dismissed." Jerry stood up. "Your honor! What about the case involving Mr. Bradshaw?" Judge Mathis turned back around. "There is no proof! I'm tired of wasting my time on this. You know what? I'm throwing all of this out. It's pointless with no proof, and I'm denying the divorce. Mrs. Wilder, may I suggest marriage counseling?" He asked before walking away and it's like the world shattered. 

"Get up. Come on, we have to get you out of here." Jerry said hauling me up and grabbing my purse, shoving me towards my parents, and staying behind me to keep Aaron away. My mom held my arm as Daddy lead the way, Jerry watching behind us. "CAILA!" I froze and turned to see Jerry had whipped around. "I suggest you stay away from my client. I am about to do everything in my power to ruin your life, Mr. Wilder. I suggest you prepare for that." My mother dragged me to the black escalade her and my father drove. She put me in the backseat as she got into the drivers seat. I looked out the window to see my dad and Jerry coming down the courthouse steps, Aaron behind them red faced. My dad turned to Jerry and Aaron took the opportunity to rush around them, sprinting straight for the back door. "Mama!" She turned and quickly got out, standing in front of my door. "Get out of the way Regina." 

"You'll have to kill me before I move." He used his body weight to shove her and grabbed the door handle.  He pulled it open but mom slammed back into the door, closing it on his fingers. I was angry at him, but took so much pleasure in his cries of pain. I kicked off my heels and opened the door, getting out as my dad and Jerry rushed over. I grabbed him by the collar as he held his hand. "If you ever touch her or anyone else I care about again. I will kill you. I'm not playing Aaron, I will. I'm done, I'm over the bullshit." Suddenly mom pulled me out of the way as my dad grabbed him by the throat. Using one hand he lifted him against the side of the SUV, Aaron kicking and struggling. My dad never said a word, he didn't have to, his being silent was the biggest threat. After a few more seconds he threw him to the concrete, Aaron gasping for air. 

"Oh no, what happened?" Jerry asked as he turned to face us, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Here." He said as he handed me my purse. "You do whatever you have to to get this out of state. I'm done." He nodded. "Yes, ma'am." I nodded. "Thank you, Jerry. Let me know what all I have to do." He nodded as my dad helped me and mom into the car, Aaron cussing and crying over his fingers. Dad looked to Aaron, smirking, he adjusted his Stetson and got in on the passenger side. I turned my phone on to see a few texts from Rooster, but I couldn't find it in my self to call him. We rode in silence till we got to my parents house. As we got out, I went up to my old room, throwing myself on the tiffany blue comforter. 

He actually denied my divorce. I knew the chance was there but I held out hope it would work out. Then he threw out all the other charges. My world is crashing down around me, and I don't know if I can handle it. The sobs hit and I just laid there and cried, I don't know for how long, but I know I cried myself to sleep and woke up around dinner time. I laid in bed, scrolling through my social media, just wanting to lay in the silence. After an hour there was a knock on my door, "Come in." I croaked, my voice hoarse from the crying. "Hey, sweetie. Rooster's on the phone for you." More tears streamed down my face. "I-I'm not up for talking mama." She nodded. "I'll have her call you later, Bradley. She's not up for it right now." I could vaguely hear him on the other end of the phone. "I will, bye Bradley." She hung up and came over, laying next to me.

"We'll figure this out baby, I promise." I sniffled as she held me. "I don't know how to tell him. I mean, I love him and now I have to tell him I'm still married to my shitty ex-husband, husband? God I don't even know!" Mom nodded as I cried harder. "It's not your fault, Bradley will understand. He wants to support you and you need to let him." My phone buzzed and I picked it up seeing Rooster's name with a text. "God, does he not understand that I'm not up for talking? I mean, the constant texts and calls are killing me! And calling you guys, that's kinda out of line." Mom sat up. "You stop. Right now. You are being so rude when all he wants is for you to be okay." I shook my head, the heels of my hands pressing into my eyes. "I just can't handle the constant buzzing and dinging! Can't I have five minutes of peace?!" She shook her head. "No, you can't. Because that man is worried about you. Caila, you know what he told me?" 

"He told me he was worried you wouldn't come back." I furrowed my brows. "Think about it. He brought you home, you married Aaron. He admitted he loved you at the gala, you ran off with Aaron, albeit he threatened you. And again at Top Gun, same thing. You always leave with Aaron, and he's scared you'll do it again, but he's more scared that it won't be of your own free will." I sobbed as she pulled me into her. I never thought about it that way, that's why he wanted to come. To ensure I came back home. "Now, I am going to help you record this song and then you are going back to San Diego to surprise him." I forgot about that song Penny wrote. "I thought I was here for a whole week?" She chuckled. "I love you, but we've seen quite a bit of you lately. Go home, be with your man." She said standing. "We'll see you at Thanksgiving anyway. Now, you have five minutes to drag your tail down to the studio."

~~~

"I have missed the San Diego air! It was getting a little chilly back home!" I said as Penny pulled me into a hug, Amelia wrapping her arms around my waist. "Oh, we missed you! I was so excited when you called!" Penny said as I crawled int the passenger side, Amelia sitting in the middle seat behind us. "So you're surprising Rooster?" I nodded. "Mom is surprising Maverick." She said as she wiggled her eyebrows. Penny pulled away from the pick up lane, smirking. "Apparently Rooster has been hanging around the hangar with Maverick. So we're going there." I smiled at her. "Oh!" I grabbed the cassette from my purse. "Your song and I put it on a cassette seeing as you're so old school." She giggled and slid it in. "I have to hear this!" We listened to the tape for the ride, Penny's smile never left her face. "Okay, so are we just going to roll up and say 'hi'?" Amelia asked. "Uh, actually I think I have a plan."

I got out of the car and rushed around the side of the hangar, leaning against it. I heard the car doors shut and peeked around, seeing Penny leaning against the car as Amelia wandered inside. After a minute Penny grinned as Mav walked out, he kissed her making me grin. She said something to him before reaching into the car, turning on the radio. The song started and he chuckled. The spoke for a minute before Mav turned. "HEY ROOSTER! I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!" He walked over, Amelia at his side as he hugged Penny. She led him around to the back of the car, and I slowly stepped out as the all faced away from me. 

He opened the trunk, and I could see his shoulders fall. Amelia winked at me before poking Rooster's arm and pointing behind him. As he turned his face lit up. "Hey, stud." He rushed over, picking me up, my arms wrapping around his shoulders as my legs went around his waist. "You're home." I nodded as I kiss his temple. "I was always coming home and I'm sorry I didn't make that clear." He shook his head. "Don't apologize." I chuckled. "At least kiss me?" He chuckled before kissing me gently, his hands covering my back as my hands went into his hair. "I love you." He muttered against my lips and I pulled back. "I love you too." I said before he pulled me into another kiss. Someone cleared their throats and we broke apart, looking to Amelia who had her arms crossed and put her weight all on one leg. "Sorry." I said sheepishly, burying my face in Rooster's neck.

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