#shit will campos says

[correctdndadsquotes]

Freddie: Hey, can we just take a quick vote here? Do we still want Beth on the podcast?

Anthony: Oh my God, if it's between her and you, I'm so sorry.

Will: Yeah, are you trying to stage a coup right now, dude?

[best-teen-polycule]

i know we all want willy to stay as far away from normal as possible but the feral narrative foil demon in me is frothing at the mouth thinking about willy doing something along the lines of using normal to summon a doodler full of hate instead of love.

just. how narratively metal would it be for the goth punk seeker of darkness to have summoned the squishy love doodler while the perky pepper chipper cheery school spirit mascot kid summons a being of intense hatred.

[solitary-bones]

so dndads live show St Paul! idk how much of this is a spoiler for anyone else going to shows so I'ma cut here!

we had!

- so many gay people in the audience that as I was walking in to the venue I said to my friend damn this is like a pride parade and a bunch of gay people in front of me were like TRUEE

- a live performance of both! dead and gone and rocks rock! it was so incredible. Beth and Will both POPPED OFFF!!!!!! they were so cool oh my god. and Freddie fucking shredded it on the electric guitar it was so sick.

- silly St Paul themed dad facts plus Ron just uhh thinking all manual labor is called a hand job.

- the people royally fucking up the dice roll (not my fault I was in the balcony I cannot be held responsible)

- the people absolutely manifesting the complete improv prompt as the live show topic. and all of the cast going into mourning over it (will fell to his knees on the stage so dramatically it was so funny)

- the cast deciding to do a DND game with their characters! Starring: Will Campos as Henry oak as Mr Chris (later Dr Chris), by the book health inspector! Matt Arnold as Darryl Wilson as Darryl, ex football quarterback now accomplished priest searching to remember all 10 commandments! Beth may as Ron stampler as Nor Relpmats, doctor (the best health inspector of them all)! and Freddie Wong as Glenn Close as Glenn The Closer, weed enjoyer moonlighting as a health inspector relying on his gut! Anthony Burch as Patrick as Patrick the shit (among other characters)!

- the audience not being able to stop being horny when giving suggestions for what their location, bad guy, and theme were gonna be (bdsm dungeon, just a guy from the audience named Patrick, and a 10 commandments dildo)

- an abundance of flashbacks and one single flashforward

- butt spanking competition to get past the second door (it is a bdsm castle ig)

-mr Chris tests to see if the floor has been cleaned recently and thinks it hasn't. Glenn the closers gut says it's fine but Mr Chris says if he tastes some of what's on the ground he'll be able to tell better. Glenn the Closer bites his fingers and Mr Chris is into it.

- Mr Chris finding a dead cockroach on the ground and revives it using CPR and mouth to mouth (Anthony is the cockroach and also when will tried to fake the mouth to mouth yelled DO IT PUSSY so yeah they actually kissed like twice at least) and revived it to ask about the cleanliness of the floor and found it not very.

- none other than paeden bennets on the second level, who Darryl proceeded to obliterate with a holy football. I'm not lying (not before asking how Patrick the DM knew about their friend Paeden who was long dead and us getting a lively npc on npc scene by Anthony of Patrick meeting Paeden and getting punched in the balls and saying "I'll never forget you")

- Test by the health inspectors to see if the blood of paeden would get cleaned up. all of the soots from spirited away came in with little mops to clean it and cleaned all the party. Glenn rolled to see if he's into it and got a 9 but the crowd gave inspiration and he got a 6, which is 69 so he was and wanted to stay there forever with the soots. Henry as Mr Chris used his persuasion to get Glenn the closer to leave the soots by saying that whatever they're doing he could do it better. because apparently they're ex lovers now. (Anthony yelled something about Will wanting to kiss another boy)

- Flashback reveals that they were highschool sweethearts but were going to health inspection schools on opposite sides of the US and were talking about how their relationship would progress from there when Mr Chris' secret lover barges in and informs them that they're pregnant and he's the father! Glenn the Closer gets upset and asks what happened and Mr Chris proceeds to another, extremely graphic, flashback where Ron the doctor commentates the uhhh conceiving of said child. and Glenn is understandably upset at the graphicness of this explanation about being cheated on. They end with bitter words, stating they're now nemesis in health inspection.

- Nor asks Mr Chris how long it's been since he saw his son Patrick. (not since birth lmao)

- they go up to the final level, find Patrick using the commandment dildo, on the 8th one I think, and upon seeing his absent father run in and ask "are ya winning, son!?"gets extremely turned off. he understandably asks what he's doing there after being absent his whole life. Mr Chris explains that he's finally ready to be back in his life, with his husband Glenn the closer, and his newfound belief in Christianity from Darryl the priest who's really good at football.

- Flashforward to Mr Chris and Glenn the Closer living together and apparently "they're bougie enough to have their own priest" so Darryl lives with them too. Nor comes to visit and we see the commandment dildo hanging above the mantle.

and that's that on that.

[fryerdan]

A Proposal for Anthony

To: Mr. Anthony Burch, D.M.

Hello Mr. Burch,

You do not know me, I do not know you. However, it has come to my attention, (and I'm sure some others, possibly including yourself), that often you do not either have prepared, or want to have, a "interesting" dad-fact (your words not mine.)

And as such I have a proposal for you to consider.

During the course of these two seasons we have heard many facts about both 'The Dads' and 'The Teens', but I would like to propose that instead of having to rack your memory and dive back to the dreaded days of high school, you give the listeners a dad-fact, (or rad-fact), about the 'Kidads'. (Lark, Sparrow, Nicky, Grant, and Terry Jr.)

Providing dad-facts in this way would provide the listeners with either:

a. A small insight into the lives of these characters,

Or,

b. Some terrible emotionally devastating piece of information that will launch the listeners into a frenzy, or an immeasurably deep pit of sorrow. (*Insert any fact about Terry Jr. here*)

Of course I make no move to intrude on the structure that is the podcast. I simply felt as though when one has a kinda-lame, very-slim-chance-of-reaching-someone-who-can-do-something-about-it idea, it is one's duty to shout it into the void that is the discord.

Now you may be thinking, 

"Oh, heavens to Betsy! This sounds like more work that would have to be done every week!" And start comparing these to the facts of one (1) William Campos, written down with much forethought, but fear not! For, I need not remind you, you are the DM, you could literally say whatever random shit pops up in your head the second before you say it, and no one can dispute it. Imagine the power you could wield.

And so I leave this here, possibly never to be read, in the hope that it makes something easier, or that you at least get a chuckle out of it before you move on. 

Sincerely, (and with much love of the podcast),

Danthony Janthony W., Fellow DM and lover of putting way too much effort into jokes.

-Dan

(In actuality, I just thought this was an interesting idea and my sister agreed, so do what you want, it's not up to me. I do really like the podcast though, you guys do a great job. 👍 (Cast, please reiterate this praise to Anthony if he tries to deflect it.))

[idontplaytrack]

Hello, I've been reading your fics since I found them recently and I love your writing sm!! I've been wanting to request some smut for AJ Campos, maybe with a strap, possibly during that track race where instead of Paige, AJ is rooming with reader instead at the hotel

Watch You Sleep

AJ Campos x fem!reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut. Oral, fingering, toy use, pet names. Coarse language, drinking

In which reader’s had a lack of sleep lately and when finally alone with her in a room at an away meet, AJ gets creative

“Are you nervous?” AJ asks you quietly, a hand on your thigh.

“Coach says I’d better perform better today otherwise we can say goodbye to placing. How’d Paige get better than me?” You were looking out the window while the bus was driving to the destination.

“Excuse me?” She turned around, startling you.

“I was just saying how you’ve become better than I am at track. Maybe I should quit.”

“What? Ay, no, no, no.” Dylan chimed in, “You love track.”

“Things change, Dylan.” You exhaled harshly.

“Oh.” Paige’s face fell.

“Yeah, oh.” You snapped, “I haven’t been able to sleep in over a week. I cannot wait for this to be over. I’ve got other things to worry about.”

“Like what?”

“Are we not in the same classes, Evans? We have two essays due in two weeks.”

You wished Paige wasn’t sitting so close by…just a couple days ago, she asked AJ out right in front of you.

AJ looked at you, concerned. “Okay, you guys.” AJ shooed them away, “Return to your own conversation.”

For the rest of the drive, you laid your head on AJ’s shoulder while eating the bag of gummy bears that you brought along. And all throughout the ride, you kept feeling eyes on you. And not from AJ- Paige. You looked away, staring out the window now.

“Girl, what the fuck are you doing? Stop being creepy.” Dylan huffed.

Once at the hotel, all the students started pairing up with their roommates according to Coach Murray’s list and went to their rooms. And you? You were supposed to be with Gabi but AJ asked to swap. “Thanks, Gabs.”

“No worries.” Gabi smiled.

AJ quickly takes you into the room, shutting and locking the door behind yourselves, “Are we going to the party?”

“Yes.” AJ decided, “They would definitely play a drinking game and it would be a great way to make it clear to Paige that I’m not interested,”

“Isn’t it random? Like, don’t they just draw phones out of a pile or something?”

“I was thinking more like we…get tipsy and just kiss in front of her.” AJ chuckles. You snorted, “Please. Knowing how fucking gutsy she is, she might actually shove me to the ground. Then, she’d kiss you.”

“There’ll be witnesses.” AJ points out.

“Yeah, a bunch of drunk teens staying up past lights out is real reliable.” You laughed.

“Then we should just…post something? Announce we’re together?” AJ stifles a laugh.

You shrug, “I dunno.”

“We don’t have to go to that party, you know?” She says, “I would honestly much rather just spend some time alone with you.”

“Oh, yeah? And do what?” You ask. “Never mind, we’ll go to their ‘party’ first. You’re right- it’s the perfect place to let her know. There are other students around- so if she pulls any crazy shit? Witnesses.”

After unpacking, you and AJ decided to head out for dinner at the diner down the block. “God, I’m so tired. Why is she everywhere?”

“Tired, tired or because-” AJ says, but you cut her off.

“Both.” You deadpan. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

“Okay.” She shrugged, the two of you went further down the block to a pizza place. But not before Paige saw you and AJ leaving- the girl did not look happy.

————

Later that night, you and AJ were in Stacey’s room to party with the rest of the team. “Oh, good. You guys are here!” Stacey gasped, “Come in, come in.”

The kicked the night right off with ‘seven minutes in the hotel bathroom’. The rounds went by rapidly and you weren’t even just a little bit hopeful that you and AJ’s phones would get drawn out of the pillow case for a round together. “y/n, you’re up.” Dylan showed your phone to the group. You looked at him then at Paige who was beside him. “Aaaand, AJ, this is your phone, right? Oh, yup. That’s y/n’s face right there. You’re up- chop chop.” The group started chattering about how surprised they were that AJ had been seeing someone all this time. Contented, you grabbed AJ’s hand, stood up and got shoved into the bathroom by Dylan and Stacey. “Timer starts once the door closes!” Dylan exclaimed.

“Did you see that look on her face?” AJ laughs, grabbing your face to kiss you.

You nod, “Oh, we’re doing that here?” You broke away from the kiss briefly.

“Of course- we’re gonna really give them a show.” AJ grins.

“Oh, hell no.” You gasped, “I am not going to purposely-” And just like that, your train of thought was gone as she kisses you even deeper, her lips trailing down your jaw and to your neck which easily draws out a moan. AJ chuckles, her breath tickles your neck making you squirm.

“To be fair she’s been purposely being a little bitch to you.” AJ raised a brow, “I doubt she couldn’t tell we have something going on at least.”

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me.” You exhaled, your hands began roaming her back, but she lifts you up to sit on the countertop. Without even taking your shorts off, she pushes the fabric of it, and your underwear aside, “Do you feel ready?”

“What?” You asked, confused for a second, “Yeah. Sure.”

AJ dips a finger into your folds, gliding it up and down, proving your point, “Of course you are.” Pushing it easily into your entrance, she quickly gains a momentum, not wanting to waste a single second of this quote-unquote ‘mandated’ make-out time. She grins, licking her lips as she watches your face contort, “Baby, you’re acting like I don’t eat you out every other night.” That smirk on AJ’s face made you feel you didn’t know what to do with yourself, then you were feeling a strangled yelp in your throat.

“Now you get shy?” She caresses your cheek with her free hand, her fingers ram into you to force a moan out of your mouth. Successfully.

“Fuck!” You whispered-shouted into her ear, “Fuck you. Oh, God.”

“Feisty.” She bit down on your neck, and you whimpered. AJ removes her fingers from you and started to kiss your face again.

“Time’s up! Get outta there.” Stacey knocks.

“You wanna go back?” AJ asks, tucking some hair behind your ear.

“Definitely.” You gave her one last kiss before straightening yourself up quickly then swung the door open.

“We’re gonna- go.” AJ stood behind you, a hand on your shoulder. “Message received. Good night- maybe you can finally get some sleep, y/n.” Dylan commented, earning a smack from his girlfriend. “Well, it’s true- she’s barely been sleeping lately.” Dylan reasoned.

“Good night, guys.” Stacey waved.

————

“Give me a minute- I just gotta get some from my bag.” She tells you while you plopped down on the bed. “Okay.” You responded while lying down. “They’re right- you haven’t been getting any good sleep recently.” AJ spoke up. “Yeah, well? I’ve been too stressed about performing well at the meet tomorrow.”

“It’s at 2pm- so we have plenty of time to get you some sleep.” She says, “Also- this might help.”

“What- oh, jesus fucking christ. How did you get that damn thing- okay, you know what? I’m not even gonna ask.” You eyes widened in shock when you turned onto your side and saw AJ putting on that harness.

“Thought you might need more to actually tire you out. And you’d probably wake up refreshed if you get some uninterrupted sleep- so you could actually perform better than Paige does.” She shrugs nonchalantly- as if she wasn’t going to impale you in the matter of minutes. “Think you can help yourself onto it?”

Her question snaps you out of your trance, “Okay.”

She chuckles, “If you say so.” AJ then laid down, waiting for you to straddle her. “Face me, okay?” You didn’t say anything else but just followed her order, legs bracketing either side of her as you knelt and positioned yourself to ease that shaft inside. AJ reflexively grabs your hips, giving you the support. “You okay, baby?” She watches you closely to make sure you weren’t in pain. You’d gotten yourself about halfway in, but you decided to get a rhythm going in order to make the rest of it easier.

“Baby?” She asks again.

“I’m okay, AJ.” You confirmed, biting your lower lip as you got used to the stretch. Watching her bare body, as she does yours, you felt yourself slipping further in by the minute. And with her words of encouragement, and a little push, you took the whole length. It was now poking you in the g-spot every time you came back down, making the moans fly out from your mouth every time.

“So pretty.” Her hands trailed upwards, kneading your breasts after unclipping your bra and tossing it aside, “You’re so pretty, my girl. Come on, give me a kiss, baby.” You leaned down, crashing her lips onto yours, content to be like this for awhile. She instinctively cups your cheeks with both hands, stroking them with her thumb. The kisses progress got heated, aiding in your little task of riding the strap. She was loving watching you and seeing your tits move along with your actions. That grin on her face? She was more than satisfied with your ability to take it. She pushes you off of her, you whine not liking the sudden emptiness. “Lay down, baby.” She pushes you down gently, her hands massaging your thighs. You complied, soon feeling her teasing you with the tip of the shaft. You squirmed, unable to keep your mouth shut. So she does- AJ crawled up to attack you with kisses, trailing down from your face all the way to your core. But of course, the lower she went, the louder you became. “You know I love hearing you, baby. Don’t hold back.” She says, her breath fanning against the juncture between your legs. “The walls are so thin.” You grumbled, “Do you not hear that?”

“So what? This whole level’s our team.” AJ shrugs, “Oh, my God- is that coach-”

“Don’t put that image in my head.” You interjected, laughing, “AJ, please.” Your hands grabbed her hair, pushing her closer to you.

“M’kay.” She grins, her tongue begins to circle your clit slowly. It made you seethe, trying to swallow the whine that was threatening to fall from your lips. “I want to hear you, babe. It’s alright.” She coos, barely breaking away long enough to speak.

You back arched more and more by the minute, and naturally, the faster she flicked her tongue, the more of a mess you were. And finally, the coil in your core started tightening, taking the place of the fluttering sensation. AJ asks if you were close, and you hadn’t even said a thing since many minutes ago- but instead your endless, whines, whimpers and moans have filled the room making AJ more eager to push you over the edge.

You could definitely feel yourself getting closer to the high, your hands clutching at the sheets beneath you. “My God. I’m so close.” You told her in a strained voice. She licks your clit one time before pulling away, much to your annoyance. “I got you, honey.” AJ grins, licking her lips to taste you, “Keep your legs open, we’re nowhere near done.”

You whined needily, feeling the ache and pulsing of your apex becoming increasingly unbearable by the second as she deprived you of the contact and stimulation- to the point where you were about to burst into tears because it was becoming too much to bear. As AJ pushes into you, she held her forearm under both your knees to keep your legs in place. And every single time she pounded into you, a sharp moan attacked her eardrums, sending shocks down her spine. “Keep going, keep going…fuck!” Your breath hitches as she retracts and pushes into you the hardest she’s had that night. Her pace became merciless as you felt the wetness dripping down you, the obscene sound from between your legs made you dizzy as did the pleasure from her fucking you with the strap. Her forearm moves away, she tells you to keep your legs in place. And, she looks right into your eyes as she continues to impale you repeatedly while profanities and high-pitched moans spewed from your mouth in an unending string. “Ah- ah! Fuck.” You cursed. AJ grins, watching you with pride as you looked back at her with hooded eyes that soon rolled to the back of your head. AJ kept going and going, watching your face at first. Then your body started trembling so she reflexively slowed down. “Oh, my God.” You cried, “Holy shit, oh my God. AJ, fuck. That feels so good, babe. Oh-”She was now holding onto one leg as she went at a languish pace to help you ride through your high. The pleasure slowly turned into a slight ache as overstimulation took over. You told her to stop and she pulls out, admiring the aftermath in the process.

She removes the harness and abandoned it. You hear it fall to the floor with a thud before she crawls into bed with you. “Hi, baby.” She cups your cheek, kissing you on the nose, “Do you feel okay?” You nodded silently, laying your head on her chest as her embrace tightens. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?” AJ asks.

“I’m a little sore, but it’ll be okay.” You admit.

AJ nods, “Think you can sleep?” She runs a hand through your hair, pressing yet another kiss onto your face.

“Mhm.” You snuggled closer, allowing her heartbeat and her warmth to lull you to sleep.

“Good night, my love.” AJ exhales softly, watching your sleepy figure in her arms, “Sweet dreams.”

[cakeofthepan]

Congrats to Will for achieving 2 of the greatest achievements in life, becoming a father and murdering Freddie Wong.

[Audio Transcript:

[Rhythmic clacking music plays]

Will: Hey everyone, I’m Will Campos I play Normal Oak, a mixed-up mascot kid who doesn’t know who he is anymore. Teen fact this week about Normal, this one’s for you Freddie

Freddie: Yay!

Will: That raccoon that Normal found, that he befriended a couple of teen facts ago, it’s actually not a racoon it’s a goingondog.

[music cuts out]

Freddie: What’s a goingondog?

Beth: oohhhhhh

Will: [extremely pleased with himself] Not much dog, what’s a going on with you bitch?

Freddie: [screams in agony]

[crab rave starts playing]

Matt: [laughing] are you serious? Did you seriously fall for that?

Anthony: [overlapping] Did you seriously fall for that? You actually fell for that?

Beth: [overlapping] I can’t- I can’t believe you-

Freddie: [overlapping] you BITCH

Will: [full on cackling]

Matt: Are you serious?

Anthony: Oh my god, Freddie is full on doing the Evangelion Shinji like doubled over in his chair clutching his head.

Beth: Oh No!

Will: [still cackling]

Freddie: [screams in agony again]

Anthony: He literally looks like he has to go pilot the Eva right now

Will: YESSS

Anthony: I can’t believe that

Freddie: Aaaaaa what

Matt: Will- Will, you found his perfect weakness, you found like a moment when his defenses were down

Anthony: Oh my god

Will: I, alright, so here’s the real story, I became a-

Freddie: GODDAMN IT

Will: [laughs]

Anthony: How did you fall for it?

Matt: How did you fall for that?

Freddie: [yelling] I don’t know, I don’t know, it was a moment of weakness, Jesus Christ

Anthony: Oh man

Will: [laughs] so um, here’s the story of that dad fact. Last month, I became a father. My wife and I had our beautiful baby boy Andy. He’s doing well, everyone’s doing great. I have been thinking about what my dad fact was gonna be for a month straight while sleep deprived and pacing around back and forth. And I was like, I feel like I’ve got one chance here to really pull something over on somebody. And I thought of this goingondog thing, I was like wait a sec. Cuz Freddie updogged me

Matt: Mmm Hmmm

Will: two decades ago I swear to god. Ten year- twelve years ago

Matt: Oh my god

Beth: Damn

Will: He got me with just straight up updog and I was like, I will have my revenge one day

Freddie: Wait do you remember that? I don’t remember that

Will: I had never heard updog before, and then you just updogged me and then everyone laughed at me and I’ve been holding a grudge-

Anthony: The day Freddie updogged you was the most important day of your life. To him it was Tuesday

Freddie: [laughing] For me it was a Tuesday

Will: And I was like, I bet my first fact back everyone’s gonna be wondering what it is, he’s gonna say something about having a kid. And then I’m like, oh wait, I’ll call Freddie out specifically, I’ll reel, I’ll reel him in.

Freddie: Oh what, that’s the move. That was the move. That’s what got me dude

Beth: Damn

Will: Yeah, so I don’t know. Anyway, I can die now I’m quitting the podcast. Goodbye

Anthony: Wow

Freddie: Fuck, bro. Just like fucking James Earl Jones used to say dude, the circle is now complete

Matt: I just watched an assassination. You know like, one of those videos that nobody moves. Like, we all just sat here just watched Freddie get murdered.

Will: [laughs] one of those 3 seconds before disaster happened videos. Anyway

Freddie: Holy shit. Do I need to turn back in my podcaster card?

Beth and Matt: I think so

[laughter]

Freddie: Do I need to go back to the podcasters guild and tell them that I’ve been forcibly ejected by an updog joke?

Beth: Hi

Freddie: [screams]

Beth: Hi

Freddie: Fuck you Will

Will: Hi Beth, how are you?

[music fades out]

Anthony: Roll stealth with disadvantage Taylor

Freddie: Taylor’s just so pumped at the idea that there was a ghost

Will: Taylor Swift really wondering if uhh we’re uhh out of the woods yet

Beth: Mmmmmm

Freddie: don’t ugh Will

Will: Did you hear her new song hey what’s up dog?

Freddie: Go fuck yourself

Beth: Freddie says it smells like wrong dog in here

Anthony: Freddie, you wanna roll to bofa?

End Transcript]

[ashecampos]

Riding it out

Aj Campos x sick reader

Reader x Chantal (twins)

Warnings : migraines, nausea, anxiety, basic illness stuff, fluff, my terrible spelling

Summary : reader is sick and her girlfriend aj comes to comfort her, little does aj know reader hasn’t been looking after herself, even going as far as dragging herself into school.

—————

You hated being sick, the word hate would be a massive understatement for how much being sick made you feel. Your parents are out of town attending to the company they own. Leaving you and your twin sister Chantal to fend for yourself.

Another fit of coughs racks your body, your lungs burn with this being the fifth coughing fit already with it only being 8 am, you had another half an hour before school started and you where dreading it. Throwing on one of your girlfriends hoodies and a pair of grey sweatpants you cough again, grabbing some water and your sneakers. Before you knew it you were at school, slowly walking to your home room class.

—

I put my head down on the desk, praying no one notices how bad I’ve gotten in the past 24 hours, the last thing I need is to be sent home and miss out on work, or even worse track. The teacher starts taking the attendance and I notice there is a few people off, probably experiencing the same symptoms I have right now. I am startled out of my thoughts when my phone vibrates in my pocket, lifting my head up I grab the phone to see who was texting me, seeing it’s the group chat,, I ignore it, not ready to face my friends at this moment in time. I know exactly how they will all react once they see the state im in.

——

Fast and curious

(Thursday 8:50am)

*missed call from Stacey Clark*

Timotee🪽: girl why are you calling us right now, why aren’t you in school?

Dillpickle🥴: wait my wife is off today??

Staceye😇: YES im off because SOMEONE gave me the flu…any guesses @y/n/n ???

Dillpickle🥴: oh baby why didn’t you tell me, I’ll ditch and come over in an hour

Gabrii🌺: guys im in home room with y/n now, she doesn’t look too good, what do I do?

Paige🎨: wait why is she in if she’s ill? Also get well soon Stacey 💕

Talía(Chantal): shes ‘riding it out’ her words not mine

Ayjay (aj): wait y/N’s sick? Since when? And why is this the first im hearing of it?

Talía : shit, she told us to not tell you, sorry aj

——-

You are hit with a wave of nausea as you slowly bring your head up off of the desk to look at the teacher who is calling your name, you look over at him and you don’t hear any of the words coming out of his mouth. His normally angered face turns into a one of pity. He shrugs the question off and points to Gabi, signalling for what I assume is for her to take me out of the classroom for some air. Not even a second later a hand is on my lower back, guiding me to the door of the classroom. I look up to see Gabi on the phone to someone while we walk at an incredibly slow pace to a water fountain. She points to the floor and tells me to sit. I slide down the wall, my legs failing on me, making me fall faster. The loud ringing of the break bell hits my ears and the halls are flooded with students. The noise deathening. I close my eyes a little tighter and hold my hands over my ears before they are swiftly took away, I look at the culprit, it obviously being gabi but this time I look at her she has both of our bags in her arms as she holds out a hand for me to take. “Cmon ángel let’s go find ur girl” she says nodding her head towards the door. I take her hand and we start to walk towards our groups hangout spot on the field. I immediately look for AJ, seeing the girl in one of my hoodies and a pair of black jeans with her signature white converse. Her head shoots up as soon as the doors of the school shut behind me and Gabi. She gives me a look of sympathy as I walk to the group. Chantal is the first to greet me “hey sis, feeling any better?” She asks with a worried tone, I simply nod not to draw too much attention to myself “we got sent out of homeroom..so no she is not okay” Gabi says for me, making Aj give me a disapproving look. “Baby cmon im taking you home” the shorter girl says while taking my bag off of me, I groan while looking at her, tears forming in my eyes. “Just one more class and if I don’t feel any better we can go okay?” I plead hoping I’ll feel a little better in an hour or so. “No ángel, we are going now, our next class is gym and im not going to let you be sent to hospital because your too stubborn to admit your too sick” she scolds me, I look over at Gabi and Chantal as if they would help, they are trying to help but im being too stubborn to see they are only doing this in hopes that it’ll make me feel a little better. I hear the doors of the school open again and turn to see Dillon and Tim walking towards us. This is around the same time my body is graced with yet another coughing fit, followed by nausea. I run to the nearest trash can and throw up the contents of my stomach into the can. Someone is thankfully there and is already holding my hair back as I do this. A hand runs down my back, I look back and see a ‘told you so’ look from my girlfriend who now has her car keys in her hand. “dale vamos ángel” (‘let’s go angel’) a very concerned Dillon says as he brushes my hair out of my face while helping me stand up and get back to the group of my concerned friends.

Aj grabs my backpack off of the floor where Gabi placed it, then she walks over and grabs my hand, pulling me along with her to the carpark, the rest of the group saying their goodbyes to me in a mixture of “get well soon” and “we will come round later with soup” between the lot of them.

Once in her car Aj turns to me, giving me a stern look before holding out her hand “give me your vape” she states without a beat. I stare at her blankly before looking at my bag. She shrugs and reaches over, her hand swiftly disappearing into my hoodies pocket and pulling out my vape, she then waves it in front of my face “none of this while your sick” she mocks before putting the small pen into her own hoodie pocket.

We end up driving for around ten minutes before I realise we aren’t going in the direction of my house anymore “uh aj?” I say quietly,, voice breaking due to a lack of energy “don’t worry we are going to make a little pitstop then we are going home” she says with that goddam little smirk she always sports, her little dimples gracing her tanned face. We end up stopping at a gas station where she runs inside to pay the cashier for the gas but she ends up coming out with tons of snacks and a crate of Gatorade. I laugh a little as she dumps it all into my lap before she continues to drive back to my neighbourhood. Once at my house she helps me carry all the snacks into the house and getting us settled in my room. Once she has me in my bed and covered in a few blankets, she quickly runs around the room setting everything up, turning my LED lights on, closing my curtains and turning on my tv before jumping into the bed with me. I laugh at how much she knows about my room which in turn brings me to another coughing fit. She rubs my back and hands me a bottle of Gatorade she managed to open in the midst of my fit. I take it from her and take a few sips of the drink, i thank her which earns a shake of her head. “How about we watch a movie huh?”

[steviesbicrisis]

As stereotypical as it sounds, Italian Steve is so good at cooking that the owner of Enzos hires him as their head chef.

YES!!

Okay so, since you need to know other stuff other than how to cook to be a great chef, I imagine that Steve gets hired because he's a great amateur cook and they have a professional cook who doesn't know anything about actual Italian cuisine, so they help each other out.

I just imagine Steve lecturing the kitchen staff about Italian dishes how he usually would do with the kids:

"We do NOT put cream in Carbonara."

"Fettucini Alfredo is the dumbest shit I've ever heard."

"Why do you put pees everywhere?"

And him just slapping someone's hand as they're about to add pineapples on pizza "no."

The staff starts to fear his reactions. One time they had run out of sauce for their pasta and one of them had said: "I mean if we put ketchup instead it's still close to pasta al pomodoro, don't you think?"

Steve had killed them with a glance and said "yeah and if my grandmother had wheels she would've been a bike! What are you even saying??"

(They had laughed at his reaction while being scared, if that’s even possible.)

It takes one month before Robin and Eddie decide to bug him at his new job and, being the only one to know (Steve is still too self conscious to talk about his Italian roots), they take their quest seriously.

Steve decides to take their orders himself so he can avoid them talking with his coworkers.

«Aren’t you supposed to greet us with an Italian greeting?» Eddie teases immediately.

«Oh yes, forgive me. Vaffanculo to you» Steve says, with the fakest smile he can master.

«Stevie I know Italian well enough to tell that wasn’t very polite-»

«Please don’t start flirting now, I just wanna eat in peace» Robin laments, making them blush and stutter a few incoherent words.

Robin looks satisfied with their reaction «I’ll have a carbonara please.»

Steve turns to Eddie «what about you?»

Eddie, still a little red in the face, is looking at the menu like it had personally insulted his uncle. As Steve is about to ask if he needs help, Eddie points at something in the menu and says «I’ll have this… orecchiette alla barese…?»

Steve cannot say if it’s because Eddie just said it with the sexiest accent he has ever heard, because of his newfound fixation with Eddie saying anything in Italian or because he picked the one dish Steve put on the menu dedicated to his grandmother, but once again it does things to his brain.

He runs to the kitchen without saying goodbye and starts cooking immediately like a madman.

The kitchen staff looks at him curiously as he spies on Eddie and Robin’s table from the kitchen door for their whole stay.

Once they’re gone, he gets teased for having a crush. Steve can’t say they’re wrong.

——

Iconic cultural reference of Gino Da Campo who says the grandmother bit in a British show, here.

This whole thing is inspired by Joe Quinn saying "orecchiette alla barese" one time and living in my head rent free ever since.

[toonbly]

can i just say will campos gave one of the most fucking devastating performances i have ever heard in a podcast in this episode. normals heartbreak sounded so fucking real. brav-fucking-o will holy shit

[httpiastri]

isack’s insta caption is so… 😶😶

“limited power from the race start to the end 😶 // it is getting really frustrating, mechanics does not make it easy for us this season”

i get that engine issues are out of his control, but what about his bad start? why is he shading his team publicly on social media? what about that time where his teammate didn’t get much info from engineers during a race? or that nightmarish tyre incident (granted, that wasn’t fully the mechanics fault, as far as i know)?

point is, his teammate never publicly threw his crew under the bus, so why is isack doing it?

has he completely forgotten about the horrible wave of bad luck his teammate just went through? has he forgotten how his teammate never publicly shamed anyone on his social media even when there were times where he could’ve very easily blamed certain people?

but even then like idk because there was a pepe interview (not sure if its super reliable but) that said “Campos Formula 2 racer Pepe Marti suggested his team are not to blame for the technical problems their cars experienced in the first two rounds.”

and he kept praising his team and saying oh stuff like this can happen, though it’s odd or whatever and idk i just think their attitudes are just so different and maybe it’s because of the time and weather but i’m feeling so bad for the mechanics rn

- 🪷

isack baby this is NOT a good look on you 😶 ofc i had to compare it to a more civilized boy who's not afraid of admitting that he messed up:

chris is so sweet about it, admitting his fault, and then... isack.....

let's say it is true and he had limited power. then it's still EXTREMELY disrespectful to talk about your team like that. dude, you're in f2, your team is obviously doing their best to help you out. why would they not? and why attack them like this out in public??? you may be looking up to your idols in f1 who talk about "my car is shit" or "they messed up" or whatever. but you are faaaar from there... you are far from the right to talk to the people who work for you like that. oh my god, this is so stupid

it also makes it look, just like you touched on, as if campos hasn't had any issues with pepe's car... you have a teammate who's had crazy bad luck and also a lot of bad calls, but not once did he say anything. even when he was upset about not getting any info over the radio, did he post about it on insta ??? does isack not realize how stupid he looks??

like sorry for comparing it to pepe but he even congratulates isack for his wins even when he was the reason pepe crashed out from a race he could've won... i hate whiny drivers but maybe even more, i hate drivers who aren't appreciative and supportive of their team? lando and oscar always making sure to thank everyone back home at the factory, etc..... a major difference

pepe saying that in an interview is so typical him :(( sweetheart wouldn't blame anyone else, even if it's possible that it was indeed someone else's fault :(((

it's just so stupid to talk about your team like this, because what? do you think they're going to agree? or be happy about it? do you think they'll like you more and feel more likely to help you out (or do you think that maybe they'll prioritize someone like pepe)??

[correctdndadsquotes]

Will: “You attempt to send one creature you can see within range to another plane of existence,” just like I do when I'm having sex

[classicninjasoup]

MAIN HEADCANONS

Centered in a Pico's School Before Shooting/LCA timeline

No ships mentioned on this post

⚠️ NON CANON ⚠️

Pico Captain

American

The only thing he's sure about is that he loves science and he'll study

He/Him

Unlabeled, Pansexual, Omnisexual with male preference? no idea, he's just a silly guy doing silly stuff.

Somehow popular.

His eyes are green

He has a lil cute tooth gap

Lots of freckles!!!!

18 y/o (PS) | 21 y/o (FNF)

Born April 30th

Darnell Jones

Afro-american, Born and raised in america

Almost full Default setting aka cisgender

He/him

Bisexual

An extroverted

He also has a lil bit TOC, he needs everything to be symmetrical.

His eyes are either purple If we take fantasy colors in count, if not they're deep blue.

18 y/o (PS) | 21 y/o (FNF)

Born January 24th

Nene Nakamura

Asian-american, Born and raised in america,

She's still connected to her Corean and Japanese roots.

She used to be really conservative, once she grew up she started to make her own opinions.

Not sure about her gender identity, she's really confident about being a seen as a girl

She/They

Definitely LGBTQ+

Her eyes are brown

She has a total of three moles in her face, one on the bottom corner of her right eye, another on the top right corner of her lips, the last one bottom left corner of her lips.

18 y/o (PS) | 21 y/o (FNF)

Born July 2nd

Cassandra

Penillian, although when someone ask she says she's german and she does have a subtile accent.. s

She's bi-gender.

Gives a flying fuck about pronouns but people seem to perceive her as a human female so she goes along with it.

Bisexual against her will, hates men BUT SOME OF THEM ARE FINE...

Yellow eyes

Shit ton of piercings on the ears and a total of 3 on her face, left eyebrow, two other on her bottom lip,

She has a little space in her right eye brow, no one know if she shaves it or if there's an scar there.

18 y/o (PS) | 21 y/o (FNF)

Born June 6th

Cyril "Cyclops" Johnson

BORN AND RAISED IN AMERICA🦅🦅🦅🦅

Cisgender

he/him

Straight (he's lying to himself)

He prob has posters of shirtless buff men on his room, he thinks it's normal for guys to have those kind of stuff.

He has a real bad idea about punks, real dumb

He failed a year.

He's Naturally blonde

Blue eyes

He does have an scar in his covered eye (he made the scar in the most stupidest way possibly.)

19 y/o (PS) | 22 y/o (FNF)

Born April 20th

Alucard A̶n̶d̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶ Volkov

Born and raised in america

His mom is Russian, his father's British

He's not completely sure but he thinks he's a Demiboy

Any pronouns mainly He/They

He might be in the Aroace spectrum

He didn't turned lavender from a day to another, he had vitiligo for quite some years before his skin went fully lavender.

His eyes are a mystery to everyone mainly since he doesn't take off his glasses because of how sensitive they are (this being a secondary effect from the experimentation his father did)

18 y/o (PS) | 21 y/o (FNF)

Born October 31th

Harold "Hanzou" Sasaki Aguilar

Born and raised in america, their mother is mexican, dad's japanese

Non-binary

They/He/She, they don't mind about what people call them,

They're polysexual.

They have multiple moles on his body the ones more noticeable are the ones on his face, some on his neck and hands being obvious as well.

His eyes are pure black..somehow

17 y/o (PS) | 19 y/o (FNF)

Born October 24th

Pierre Lemieux

Born and Raised on France, parents decided to move to USA for better work opportunities

Gay

Cisgender

He/They (Uses 'They' to refer to themselves)

The glasses are a esthetic thing, he wear contact lenses on school and black squared glasses on his house.

His eyes are brown.

18 y/o (PS) | 21 y/o (FNF)

Sebastián "Spike" Vázquez Campos

Born and raised on Mexico, he moved with his parents to USA since they wanted a change of airs

Non-binary

Any pronoun, mainly referred to as He/him

Abrosexual or antrosexual

He's working real hard to make Cyclops idea on punks change, he's so dang tired.

Naturally a brunette

Multiple face and ear piercings

Also some moles

His eyes are honey green.

18 y/o (PS) | 21 y/o (FNF)

Visual representation on my takes on their positions and stuff

You can change the "weeb" to "geek" or "nerd" if you like, lol

[rottenpunkandmadeofweasels]

kind of losing my shit rn and have a million things to say about this wonderful episode and the gang involved

thank you Beth may for the complex feelings running through Scary that are still drowning in denial and the incredibly slow breakage of her emotional walls. Even after Terry's death the struggle of admitting all her feelings about it is some beautiful characterization. The layers upon layers of subtle character work is like an emotional artichoke where each piece you let us peel back and examine is building a more and more intense pile of complicated and earth shattering feelings. you have not shown us all your cards even in this devastating time and once or if you do the payoff might just kill me.

thank you Matt Arnold for the comedic and heartbreaking choices you brought to this episode. The consistency you bring to Link and his loyalty was like a punch to the gut this episode. With fucking everything that happened with Taylor to his declaration of never wanting to see his dad again while breaking the anchor is god I can't even. He loves so strong and will stand by their side but he recognizes the foundation of his and Grant's relationship has crumbled and his Dad is not who he thought he was. Ending with the anchor breaking character choice made me litterally shout OH FUCK and I don't want it any other way. You know your fucking character.

Thank you Freddie Wong for being one of the funniest people ever. Today was not Taylor's big emotions episode and that's absolutely ok because it was immediately filled with one of the funniest bits ever. I have really strong reactions to things so when the gay foot mecha orb thing happened I fell to the floor shout screaming. Out of anyone on this goddamn podcast I think you have made me fall to the floor more times then anyone else. fucking comedic genius with a genius character.

Thank you Will Campos just thank you for Normal in his entirety. Normal flipping his shit this episode made me excited beyond belief and there are a million things I could say about Normal that I have already shouted at several people about regularly because he makes me nuts I love him and how you perform him. His conversation with Scary at the end made me sick it was so fucking good. So little was said but all of it was so loud. Love him more than anything.

Fucking Anthony Burch. Thank you Anthony. my god. What can I say about this guy that I haven't already said to every person I know and my online creative writing course. No writer or actor or anything has made me get up from my fucking seat and SCREAM. He has made me cry, laugh, pace around my kitchen like a caged animal like no other. He's my greatest inspiration and my worst enemy. this fucking guy reawakened my love for writing like no other piece of media has. Your worldbuilding, characters, choices, improv makes me flip my lid. I love Sparrow and Grant and Nicky and Dead Terry and Everyone in this fucking episode I fucking can't. As a twin I need to be fucking devasted by Lark and Sparrow in this next episode they make me so sick.

just a huge fucking rant that doesn't encapsulate all my feelings but a mini and not really ode to this podcast that I needed to get out while I was still fresh and emotional.

[ferretcards]

WAit is RJ the im mixed girl durag meme 😭aftually dont post this i dont wanna shit stir. But um. Idk.

no lol, rj is some 2nd generation Cuban American witch who accused me of being rude and mean when I am educating which I wasn’t and the only time I was “mean when I was educating” was calling out a group of people who harassed me and even tried to doxx me for not agreeing with their supporting of the Cuban dictator government and then accused me of stalking him when he literally followed me first on Instagram. now he came falsely accusing me of shit and saying stuff about my practice and my experience within it. RJ if you see this just know you’re not welcomed nor is your friends or your meat riders but he calls himself a Guajiro despite not being raised within the Campos and rural parts of Cuba. He also taught a Taino ritual PUBLICALLY. And Taino is an indigenous group and our rituals and spirits are closed. Also I never said that me being Cuban means I automatically practice Santeria so idk why this ginger crackhead wants to assume that about me when he’s friends with so many problematic apologists who defend problematic people or is friends with problematic people. ALSO RJ you’re not a Guajiro if you’re not raised within a Campo/rural parts. That’s not how it works. You were raised in Florida probably not in a rural area/Campo.

Screenshots will be provided later

[parisian-nicole]

GarVez Ficlet: The Fishing Expedition

I had started working on a completely different fic where after hanging with the team at a bar, Luke and Penelope were heading out together. He was being a gentleman and walking her to her car which she had parked down the street. She had started to ask him if he thought Tyler had felt sad or left out because they hadn't invited him. Luke was of course bothered and rolling his eyes as she went on, but then he noticed Tyler and some woman a little ways ahead of them standing on the curb looking very cozy. Luke lies about leaving something behind to try to get them to go back to the bar before Penelope noticed, but she caught him. Penelope bravely walks right over to Tyler and the mystery lady (much as she had in the last episode when she saw Tyler w/ his ex Teresa) and introdues herself. I hadn't decide yet if I was going to make the lady in my story Tyler's pregnant fiance or have them married with a newborn son. After last week's episode I scrapped that fic. But This new one came into my head. I hope you enjoy it.

****

****

“That was fun, right?” Penelope Garcia said with a smile, as she and Teresa Campos walked through the parking lot of the café they had just left.

“Mhm-hm,” Teresa replied through pursed lips that curved at the corners to mimic a smile.

“We should definitely do this again sometime,” Penelope proclaimed as they finally stopped at their cars which were parked next to each other’s.

“Yeah, no, I don’t think so,” Teresa spoke out and her words sent a gut punch to the woman standing in front of her, whose face was crestfallen.

“Why not?” Penelope asked as she rapidly blinked to stave off the tears that were suddenly stinging her eyes seeking release. Even the slightest rejection from others always seemed to cut her deeply.

“Because I don’t like fishing,” Teresa stated and her words made Penelope’s brows furrow in confusion. “And tonight, you took me on a big fishing expedition just to find out if I am hooking up with Agent Alvez,” She added on and Penelope’s eyes widened in surprise as her mouth opened as if to protest but then quickly clamped shut because she was never at ease with lying to others. “Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy hanging out with you and it was fun for the few moments that you weren’t talking about Luke.”

“I’m sorry,” Penelope apologized as she bowed her head a bit and stared down at the asphalt.

“It’s all right, I am not mad or anything,” Teresa said. “I mean I get it, there is a serious vibe between you and Luke. I picked up on it within a few seconds of being in the room with you two.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Penelope huffed out and hugged herself as if shielding herself from an attack. “Luke and I are just friends.”

“And you’re telling me that you’re not at all interested in being more? Didn’t you two, date?” Teresa asked as she crossed her arm against her chest and allowed her backside to rest upon the backend of her car. She was interested in hearing this story.

“It was just one date, and it was uncomfortable, and we both realized that we’re better as friends … and how do you even know we went on a date, anyway?” Penelope rambled as a blush crept down her neck and spread across her chest.

“Luke told me and he also told me that he loves you,” Teresa threw out to gauge Penelope’s reaction.

“Wait…what?” Penelope squeaked out as her face held a wide-eyed, mouth-gaping look that Teresa could not discern as shocked or horrified.

“Ha, I knew he was lying when he said that you knew he loved you,” Teresa said and at these words she could clearly decipher that Penelope was shocked by what she was hearing, not horrified.

“Why would he tell you that and …” Penelope’s words died on her lips as her mind still reeled from what Teresa had just stated.

“And not tell ‘you’?” Teresa completed the question and Penelope nodded. “Because he’s a chicken shit. I called him out for not being brave enough to tell you how he felt about you, and to shut me up, he said that you already knew. I knew better but it was none of my business so I let it go. I’m surprised you didn’t already know. The guy is ga-ga for you which is why I have decided to steer clear of him. After going through hours of therapy that has put me over two thousand dollars in debt, I’m learning to not fall into old patterns. And hooking up with a guy who I know is not mentally or emotionally into me, just because he’s super-hot, and he smiled at me was a major pattern with me. Although I was tempted by Luke, I even flirted with him about dating. I mean, the man is drop-dead gorgeous, sexy as fuck, and Latino,” She said this with a smile that Penelope matched as she also nodded in agreement to everything Teresa had listed. “He’s also kind, super sweet, and has such a big heart, which completely belongs to you. So, I have to ask what the hell is wrong with you? What I mean is, why are you pining over Tyler when you have a man like Luke who would do absolutely anything for you?”

“Luke and I work together and it could make things complicated and messy. Also, Tyler’s a good guy and … and you also dated Tyler,” Penelope defended.

“Yeah, and I got to know him pretty well, and as nice as he is he's also selfish. We both know that he has experienced trauma due to his sister’s murder. It’s hardened him in ways that will not allow him to be ‘mentally and emotionally’ available, and I think he prefers it that way. You know, not letting anyone get too close out of fear, they will get taken from him, like his sister. And he always used his sister’s murder as an excuse whenever he did something wrong, like getting drunk at a bar, picking a fight, getting arrested, and then calling me to bail him out of jail. Or my personal favorite, going off the grid for days not calling or answering the dozens of concerned messages I would leave him,” Teresa went on and the words made a lump form in Penelope’s throat as déjà vu washed over her. “Hey, sorry,” Teresa spoke more gently as she could tell that her words had upset Penelope. “I know this is really none of my business, but I just have to tell you as someone sort of on the outside looking in, I can see that you are a ‘helper’ and a ‘fixer’. I mean, you didn’t know me except that I was the ex-girlfriend of a guy you’re interested in, but you still jumped head-first into trying to help me. You fixed a problem that Tyler created in my life, and I greatly appreciate that. But you have gotta know that you cannot help everyone and you cannot always fix their problems,” Penelope averted her eyes to the ground as she listened to words that she had been told on numerous occasions in the past but had not ever heeded. “Don’t spend your energy trying to help fix Tyler Green, because I can tell you from my own experience it’s a waste of time. Also,” Teresa reached over and placed her hand against Penelope’s arm which prompted Penelope to look up at her. “Don’t let the ‘coulda, shoulda, woulda’s’ stop you from starting something more romantic with Luke. He is truly an amazing man and the way that he looks at you … Dios mío, chica. He would try to give you the world, the Moon, and the stars if you would let him,” Penelope couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face at hearing a stranger affirm things that she sometimes wondered about. “Here,” Teresa began rummaging through her purse, she then pulled out a card and held it out to Penelope, who took it and read it. “That’s my therapist, she’s really good. Maybe she can help you learn what your bad patterns are and how not to fall into them. Anyway, thank you for the free food and drinks,” Teresa joked while she moved and opened her car door as Penelope smiled at her. “Next time,” She tossed on and Penelope’s eyes lit up at the prospect that she and Teresa could actually try to be friends. “No talk of Luke, Tyler, or any guy for that matter, deal?”

“Deal,” Penelope agreed as she eagerly nodded her head. She remained standing at her car watching as Teresa drove off. She then pulled out her cell and dialed a number. “Hey, Luke, are you doing anything right now?” She asked and remained silent awaiting his reply. “Would you like to have a late dinner with me?” Penelope questioned and then bit her bottom lip as if preparing for his rejection. “You would, great,” She gushed out with a big bubbly smile. “And you’re sure I’m not interrupting anything?” She nodded as he spoke. “Yeah, you always say that I’m never bothering you, but…” Her words ended as he said something else and made her giggle. “All right, well, I’m just a couple of minutes from you. You know that café that’s one block over from your place … Yep, that’s the one. Okay, I’ll be waiting for you inside, see you soon,” Her smile got broader as she ended the call and then turned to head back inside the café. She had only taken a couple of steps before her phone pinged and alerted her that she had a message. She looked at the caller ID and her smile faded a bit as she saw the name ‘Tyler’ displayed. She opened and read the message:

~ Hey, I need your help.

~ What happened?

~ I’m at some bar right now. I’m not drunk but I’ve had enough drinks that I probably shouldn’t be driving. Do you think you could come pick me up? I could really use a friend right now. It’s been a bad day.

Penelope knew that today would likely be a bad day for Tyler, it was his sister’s birthday. So, she hadn’t been surprised when he had been MIA at work and hadn’t acknowledge the three calls and six text messages she had left him. She also wasn’t surprised that he had gone out drinking or was now texting her seeking some solace, and there was a part of her that wanted to race to him and comfort him any way she could.  But there was also a voice screaming in her head that this was the ‘pattern’ that Teresa had just been talking about. She took a deep breath and started typing.

~ Sorry, but I can’t I’m about to have a dinner date with Luke. I can call you an Uber if you drop me your location.

~ No worries, I’ll call an Uber myself. You enjoy your ‘date’ with Luke 🙁 and tell him I said hello.

~ Ok, good night.

Penelope hurriedly placed her phone back in her purse and stood there a couple of minutes more as she waited for the guilt to kick in. If it did, she would ask Luke to go with her to get Tyler. That would be her insurance that Tyler would not end up back at her place for the night. As she thought about it more, she was sure that had been his intention in contacting her. If he had ‘needed a friend’ he could have reached out to her before going to some bar to drink. She was not just some booty he could tap whenever he wanted a distraction and comfort. She was better than that.

“And I deserve better than that,” She mumbled out as her brows furrowed and she frowned a bit. Penelope had been so deep in thought that she hadn’t noticed that Luke had arrived, parked, and was making his way over to her.

“Hey, Chica,” He called out just before he stopped to stand right in front of her with concern showing on his face. “Is everything okay? I thought you were gonna wait for me inside. What are you doing out here?”

“Oh, everything is fine. I actually just met up with a friend here before I called you and they just left,” Penelope stated and the look on Luke’s face and the way he nodded while averting his eyes prompted her next words. “It wasn’t Tyler,” He didn’t say anything but his relief was written all over his face as a smile tugged at his mouth. “I’ve decided that I can’t pursue a romance with Tyler.”

“Right, because he works with us now and you have your rule about dating someone you work with,” Luke offered.

“No, it’s because we never really had anything real,” She countered. “I mean, it was definitely real for me, but we all know that he only came into my life so he could get help tracking down Voit so he could kill him to avenge his sister’s murder. Also, he got some amazing sex for good measure.”

“I was kind of, sort of, starting to get along with the guy, but now I wanna beat the shit out of him again for how he treated you,” Luke huffed out and Penelope could tell by the way he clenched his hands into a fist that what he said hadn’t been in jest.

“Luke, you don’t need to defend my honor.”

“No, but I want to,” He said this with such conviction as he stared intensely into her eyes that another blush swept across her chest.

“Because … you love me, right?” She cautiously probed seeking confirmation to what Teresa had told her.

“Yeah, I do,” He nodded as he frowned up and he looked like he was offended that she even had to ask him that.

“Are you in love with me, too?” She asked and his eyes widened a little and she could tell by the way he kept swallowing that he was nervous. As he silently stood before her, she also became nervous thinking that Teresa had been wrong about his feelings.

“Yes, I am,” Luke finally confessed as Penelope gasped and her mouth gaped in her surprise. “But hey, you don’t have to worry about it. It doesn’t have to be a big thing-”

“What do you mean, you just said that you’re in love with me and that’s a huge thing, Luke,” She squeaked out as she clutched her left hand across her chest. Luke was becoming panicked by her reaction.

“Fuck! I’m sorry, Penelope, I never wanted you to find out. It doesn’t have to change anything between us.”

“It changes everything,” She stated as a single tear slipped from her eyes as she looked at him bewildered.

“Look, I know that you don’t have romantic feelings for me-”

“But I do,” She cut off his words and the current fear running through his mind where he was thinking he was going to lose her friendship now that she knew the truth.

“You … you do?” Luke was shocked and his bulging eyes and open mouth was the testament. “But on our date, you said…”

“I said the truth,” Penelope interjected and her words made Luke’s face become a mask of confusion. This was how she constantly made him feel; hot and cold. Sometimes she’d give him a look or say things to him that would have him thinking she was interested in him, but then she’d become cold and distant with him again. “Our date was awkward for me and I really didn’t know how to talk to you at that time without dunking on you. I realize now that it was all on me, my old hang ups from when I was in middle school all the way through college. It was like a broken record with me; the superhot guy who I’d have the biggest crush on but I knew was way out of my league, would ask me out. But it would always end up with them trying to molest me or get me into bed. I started developing these lovely ladies when I was eight,” She pointed at her breasts but Luke hadn’t even registered the move as his face hardened in anger at knowing that was how she was treated.

“I would never, ‘ever’ do that to you,” He defended. “In fact, I really want to track those guys down now and beat their asses.”

“I know you’re not like that, Luke, I really do,” Penelope said this softly as she gently placed her right hand against his left arm in hopes to placate his madness. “But the night of our date that’s all that was playing through my head at first, because I really had no idea that you had true romantic feelings for me. I just thought that you thought it would be your last opportunity to get me into bed before I left the B.A.U.”

“Penelope, I had been in love with you years before our date. I mean, I can’t tell you the exact moment it happened, but I do know the exact moment that I realized I was in love with you,” These words stunned her.

“You do?” She asked him as a slight smile graced her lips and he reciprocated the smile as he nodded his head, but then his face grew somber as he remembered.

“Yeah, it was at Phil’s funeral,” He confessed and she would have never suspected that that would have been the day of his revelation. Her face scowled up in confusion but she remained silent to allow him to continue. “You were the only one from the team who came, and I know the others didn’t feel comfortable because none of you knew him that well and you hadn’t been invited by his family. Even Lisa didn’t come with me for the same reasons, but not you. You came, partly to pay your respects to Phil but I knew that you mostly came to give your support to me. Standing there at Phil’s graveside funeral, when I felt your hand grasp mine and I looked over and saw you standing there, right at my side, mami …” He paused and shook his head a bit as his mind and heart became bombarded with the emotions he had felt in that moment years ago. “I knew without a doubt that I was in love with you. I had always been attracted to you from the second I had laid eyes on you, but I seriously could have dropped to my knees right there in that cemetery and proposed marriage because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved you and wanted to spend my lifetime loving you.”

“Oh, Luke,” Penelope softly sobbed out as her tears fell which he quickly reached out and wiped away. “I didn’t know that that was how you felt.”

“I know, and the timing was so shitty not just because it was at my best friend’s funeral but also because he really liked you. And I mean in a romantic way. He had been asking, no, it was more like harassing me to hook you two up, ever since we brought him Lou and he first met you. I didn’t know I was doing it at the time but I was totally cock blocking him, because I didn’t want him anywhere near you. And I’m sorry I lied to you when you asked me if Phil had asked about you.”

“Boy, we’ve both been going about things the wrong way by not being more open with each other about how we feel, haven’t we?” Penelope stated as she sniffled and wiped away more tears that had slipped out. “I mean, we’ve missed out on years of what might have been a happily ever after for us.”

“Well, the story is still being written, and ‘this’ right now could be the beginning of our happily ever after, right?” Luke asked tentatively. He inwardly sighed in relief as she slowly smiled while nodding her head.

“Yeah,” Penelope agreed.

“Yeah?” He repeated as he also smiled.

“I would like to find out where the story leads.

“So, would I, but can ‘this’ be our official first date and that other one we can say it was just a test run?” Luke joked.

“Definitely,” She concurred as she giggled and nodded in agreement.

“Shall we?” He shifted to stand beside her and offered her his right arm, which she linked with her left arm.

“Luke,” She stalled his movements before he walked them to the café. He looked down at her curiously and awaited her next words, but instead he experienced a pleasant surprise when she leaned up and deliberately pressed her lips upon his. His reaction was instinctive as he swiftly wrapped his arms around her waist, pressed her flush against his chest, and deepened their kiss. The need for air finally pulled them apart but neither relinquished their hold on the other. “For this to work I’m going to need two things,” Penelope panted out as she gazed directly into his eyes. “One is exclusivity because I am a very monogamous person-”

“Me too, and I don’t plan on sharing you with anyone else so I’m going to need you to make Tyler aware that we’re now dating, or I will have to,” Penelope hurriedly nodded to this.

“I kind of already did when he texted me right before you arrived, but I will talk to him to make it crystal clear, so there’s no room for doubt or confusion. And that leads me to the other thing I’m going to need in order for this to work between us. We can’t hide things from each other. We will need communication because I’m not always good at reading between the lines or seeing the obvious, so I will need you to talk to me. We both need to always be open, honest, and receptive to each other, no matter what.”

“Absolutely, I can do that,” Luke concurred. “Soo, are you agreeing to be my girlfriend?” He questioned as he casually tossed his right arm over her shoulder and moved them towards the café.

“Only if you’re agreeing to be my boyfriend, ‘and’ if things don’t work out romantically between us, I get to have unrestricted visitation rights with Roxy,” She replied with a cheeky smile and Luke’s head fell back as he laughed while agreeing. He never would have anticipated that this would be how his day would end up. He had been happy when she called him, elated when she asked him out to dinner, and now he just felt overjoyed and truly blessed.

“Boy, I need to go fishing more often,” Penelope mumbled to herself as they stood at the door to the café that Luke was pulling open for her to enter first.

“What was that, my beautiful girlfriend?” He asked teasingly as he had not made out her words.

“Oh, it was nothing, my handsome boyfriend,” She teased back while feeling contentment as well as excitement about what their future held.

****

Fin

****

*Fic art made for entertainment purposes only*

[idontplaytrack]

Redeeming Win

AJ Campos x fem!reader

Warnings: coarse language, attempted assault, violence, hospitalisation. Reader discretion is advised.

In which reader tries to beat her own timing lately for the run, Coach Murray lets her & Paige wasn’t too happy about it- and anything else.

Part 2 to Watch You Sleep

“Okay, team. Gabi you go first, AJ goes next, then Evans, and y/l/n, you’ll be taking the last stretch.” Coach Murray decided. Great, even in track, Paige was coming in between you and AJ.

“y/n, focus.” Coach reminded you, “You were still two seconds behind.”

“Okay.” You took a deep breath, nodding.

“Don’t just tell me. Prove it- let our team place this time.”

AJ squinted at the guy, coming closer to you to give your shoulders a squeeze. “You got this okay? Just do your best- don’t think about anything, and run.”

“Yup, okay.” You answered, warming up as did Paige and AJ.

“Okay, ladies. We have five minutes to go.” Coach announces.

Paige groans, distracting you from your little moment of meditation. You whipped your head around to look at her talking to Dylan while looking at you. “Babe? Look at me. Ignore her.”

“Believe me, honey. I’m trying.” You huffed, stretching your arms.

Before you two could say anything else, Coach asks the three of you to go get ready on the track. The rest of the team gathered on the bleachers and by the sides of the track to watch. The starter pistol goes off, Gabi began to run. She hands the baton to AJ, then she was off too.

“That’s Miller High’s co-captain, AJ Campos. Currently well ahead of Rivers High. Looks like they’ll place again this year.” The commentator said. “Now, she’s passing it over to Paige Evans, newcomer who is…keeping up. Go Miller High. Oh- she’s nearly tripped.”

“Oof- that can’t be good.” Commentator number two chimed in. “Last stretch- y/n y/l/n who won Miller High their first place two years ago at this very place.”

Now you had to go the fastest you’ve ever had.

“Will she manage to do it again after her performance last year?” Commentator number one mentioned.

What a jerk. The anger you felt made you run even faster.

“It’s very close Rivers High is nearly catching up. Oh! y/l/n is speeding by. Okay here we go- last few feet to go. And y/l/n has redeemed herself. Miller High! First place!”

The commotion that the team made, cheering and whooping when they heard the announcement. AJ was the first one to hug you, damn near spinning you around and making you more dizzy than ever. “Congrats, y/n. That was freaking impressive- I was clearly wrong about you-” Coach walked up to you and stuck out his hand so you shook it quickly. “Fuck.” You muttered, facing away from him, “Oh, my God- I’m gonna p-” You pushed her away and made a mad dash for the bathroom and you barely made it.

“It’s alright, you’ll be okay.” AJ was apparently right behind you and rubbing your back, “Oh my gosh- why did you push yourself so much?”

“I don’t know, I saw Paige nearly trip then the crap that the commentators said about me? I just- channeled my anger and energy to sprinting, I guess.” You stood up straight again, AJ hands you a tissue paper. Once she pushed the bathroom door open, you were met with a bunch of confused and concerned faces. “I’m fine.” You said dismissively.

“That sounded vile.”

“No shit.” AJ rolled her eyes. “I’ve had enough of you being a little shit you’ve been, Evans. Keep your negativity to yourself. y/n and I have been dating for more than half a year. It’s not my fault or hers that you can’t be mature and deal with a loss like this.”

Gabi handed you a bottle of Gatorade which you gratefully accepted and immediately drank some of. “Thanks.” You told her and she smiles.

“You knew?” Stacey asks.

“Yeah, so?” Gabi shrugs, “How is it any of my business who my sister’s seeing if there’s no reason for me to be concerned about her safety and whatnot?”

“I didn’t.” Stacey chuckles, “I just thought you two were besties.”

“Well, we were.” You answered.

“Cute.” Stacey grins. “Do you still feel-”

You cut her off, “A little. Um- I’m gonna go back to the room first?”

“Sure, we’ll order in some pizza later. Stacey’s room. Say, 7?” Dylan suggests.

“Yeah, sounds good. I’m gonna go with just in case.” AJ nods.

“Go straight ahead behind you two, cut through the garden. It’s way faster than going across the whole track.” Stacey told them.

“Okay, thanks. Come on, baby.” AJ puts her arm around you and walked back to the hotel with you.

“We’ll bring your bags to your room for you. Just head back to the hotel and rest.” Dylan called after the both of you.

“Alright.” AJ answers, “Do you want anything?”

“To sleep. Finally redeemed myself and won the school the first place trophy after I failed last year.”

“Because you fell and fractured your ankle.”

“And I still could’ve pushed through.”

“Babe, please- it’s not worth it to talk about that now. If you’d hurt yourself more seriously by finishing the race, you wouldn’t be running today- trust me.”

“Why the hell did he have to remind me of it.” You exhaled harshly.

“We cannot change the past, but we’re in charge of our own future. You did amazing today, okay? Be proud of that. And everything else you’ve ever set your heart to because you did your best.” AJ pecks your lips softly, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Do you think she actually almost tripped?”

“Who knows? That girl is fucking clumsy. Coach made me train her so she wouldn’t tank our ranking. He only accepted her because he needed extra people on the team.” AJ laughs.

————

“I’m running us a bath, then once we’re not sweaty as heck, we can take a nap till it’s time to go eat with our friends.” AJ decided. You were looking around anxiously even after the door was shut. “What’s the matter, babe?”

“I just feel like- someone’s following me. Following us.”

“What?” Being a bit of a distance away from you, she couldn’t hear you that clearly. Just then, someone knocks on the door before you could repeat yourself. You looked through the peephole. “Paige.” You gasped, running away from the door and joining AJ in the bathroom. The door swings open, Paige barges in, “I hate you.”

“So? I hate you too, but you don’t see me going around being a bitch to you. I’ve had enough of being nice to you-”

“What the fuck- Evans, get the hell away from her.” AJ rushed out.

Paige grabs your shoulders and tried to kiss you. On reflex, you swung and hit her jaw. “That is assault.” Paige spat, a hand on her cheek.

“Self-defence. You assaulted me.” You shoved her away. “Fuck you! What the hell’s the matter with you? Life’s not fair- deal with it. You don’t go around doing whatever the fuck you please just ‘cause you can’t get what you want.”

“My Mom didn’t raise a quitter.” She got up, “Burn in hell.”

“You’re not helping your case here.” AJ stood in between you and her. You hear running coming from down the hall. “What on Earth is going on-”

Before you could register what was happening, AJ was shoved out of the way and a fist was slammed into your eye. No one saw that coming. No one caught you so you fell and hit your head on the corner of the bed frame. “Oh, my God!” Everyone screeched in horror. “I’m calling 911.” Coach Murray hurriedly fished out his phone. Within seconds, your vision blurred, the searing pain jabbed through your head, “Is she bleeding?”

“Oh, no. No, no. Stay awake, baby. Please. Stay with me.” AJ pleaded, falling to your side.

“AJ, don’t- don’t move her.” Coach stops her. “Yeah, no she’s- okay she just went unconscious. Thanks. 5 minutes. Everyone, step away.”

————

“Are you happy now? You just hurt someone that hasn’t done anything to you.” Gabi scoffs, “I don’t care what problems you have, don’t you dare do anything like that ever again to my friends and my sister. And thank fucking God, because you just made her hate you forever. And that girl’s a saint.”

“Gabs, come on.” Stacey put a hand on her shoulder and took her away from Paige.

“Evans. You’re off the team, expect a letter of suspension when we’re back at school. This is unacceptable behaviour.” Murray walked up to her. She didn’t respond- she just stood there as Coach continued walking around the hallway.

“I wasn’t able to contact either of her parents- any idea where they are?”

“They’re in Bali to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary.” Gabi answers, rubbing AJ’s back in the meantime.

“That explains it. The time difference.” Murray sighs. “I’ll try again later. Once the doctor’s out here, I’m gonna have to head back to the hotel to make sure the rest of team isn’t wrecking havoc.”

“Yeah, we’ll be fine here together.” Dylan told him.

“Call me if you guys need anything. Gabi has my number.”

Later, the doctor informs Coach and the team that you had a fracture in your cheekbone, a concussion and a superficial tear in your skin that resulted in the bleed. “She’ll be okay but she really has to take it easy throughout the healing process for the concussion. We stitched up the wound on her head and did some tests to make sure her brain’s not swelling and that she’s alert. But as with any other head injury, no strenuous activities, no activities that require a lot focus, and plenty of rest- day and night. She also seems to be extra sensitive to noises and lights, is nauseous and has thrown up once. That’s all expected but could persist while she heals. Her eye and vision are both fine, so no worries about that.”

“Can we go in to see her?”

“Preferably in pairs. She seems to remember what happened leading up to her injury but still, it’s best not to overwhelm her.”

“Very well, thanks doc.”

“No problem.” With that, the doctor leaves. Coach took Paige with him and left as well. “Okay, Gabs, AJ you two go in first.” Stacey decided, “Me and Dylan can wait.”

AJ quietly opened the door and she walks in. It felt a little strange not to knock because she always had the habit, but remembering what the doctor said, she didn’t. “I’m alive, don’t worry.” You joked. “Good to see you smiling.” Gab revealed, nudging AJ to go ahead while she herself sat down. “That was the scariest moment of my life.” AJ said in disbelief. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?” You sighed, “I’m in pain, but I’m okay. I will be - the doctors made sure of it. I just need to take it very slow for the next I don’t know, couple months maybe?”

AJ caresses your (uninjured) cheek as she gave you a teary smile, “I know, baby. I just got so scared but I’m so glad you’re alright.”

“I thought you two oughta know that she-who-shall-not-be-named has been kicked of the team, awaiting suspension.” Gabi announced.

“That’s nothing. I would’ve got her expelled.” Evidently, AJ was still fuming. “I get it, but with this on her record, it’s bye-bye CalArts for her.” Gabi reminded, “I reckon that punishment should suffice, for now. Karma’ll get her.”