#shitposting from the void
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im just saying if youre making a spooky month zombie apocalypse au and the hatzgang isnt doing some insane shit like stealing a bus you're missing an opportunity
#'jace they would probably stay with their families'#let me have this#spooky month#hatzgang#the hatzgang#shitposting from the void
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did i just get kidnapped
"User liked your post" cool
"User reblogged your post" Wow!!
"User reblogged your post "#some silly little tag"" AAAAH THEY LOVE ME OMG!!!!
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I need Hancock to join Cross Guild so bad
#One Piece#Boa Hancock#Sir Crocodile#Cross Guild#OP Spoilers#My art#Emerging from the void to post one (1) shitpost that got out of hand#''I'll just doodle that really quick. I won't put any effort into it''#I am a fool#Y'all I haven't had One Piece brainrot this bad in about a decade. I am frankly unwell#The things I've been posting on my sideblog are absolute unhinged
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Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability
It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this. (And an equally horrible post featuring the DLC bosses.)
In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.
Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.
It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.
Explanation of Grading system:
Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.
Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.
Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.
Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?
Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.
Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.
Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.
Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.
Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.
Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.
Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
Dragonkin Soldier:
Mindless beast
Astel, Naturalborn of the Void
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Fia's Champions:
Ghosts, simps.
Regal Ancestor Spirit
Animal
Erdtree Avatar
A plant
Great Wyrm Theodorix
Mindless beast.
Ulcerated Tree Spirit
A plant, no junk
Tibia Mariner:
Skeleton
Red Wolf of the Champion:
Animal.
Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Abductor Virgin
First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.
Erdtree Burial Watchdog
Stone gargoyle
Crystalians
Non-organic
Mad Pumpkin Heads
Unable to consent due to madness.
Cemetery Shade
Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.
Spirit-Caller Snail
Animal
Runebear
Animal
Miranda the Blighted Bloom
A plant
Guardian Golem
Stone gargoyle
Starscourge Radahn:
Unable to consent due to madness
Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Elden Beast:
Too catholic.
Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:
Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.
Omenkiller:
Basically a cop.
Necromancer Garris:
Killed his family, not a good husband.
Royal Revenant:
Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)
Godrick the Grafted:
Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.
Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
Valiant Gargoyle:
Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.
Malenia, Blade of Miquella:
Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)
Death Rite Bird:
I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.
Black Blade Kindred:
Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.
Maliketh, the Black Blade:
Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.
Morgott, the Omen King:
You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.
Draconic Tree Sentinel:
Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.
Wormface:
Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.
Tree Sentinel:
Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.
Elder Dragon Greyoll:
Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.
Grafted Scion:
There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.
Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
Esgar, Priest of Blood:
No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)
Mohg, Lord of Blood:
This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.
Borealis the Freezing Fog:
Too cold, not a snuggler.
Elemer of the Briar:
The armor stays ON during sex.
Kindred of Rot:
It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.
Sanguine Noble:
Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.
Decaying Ekzykes:
He's sick right now, leave him alone.
Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:
I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.
Grave Warden Duelist:
I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.
Night's Cavalry:
If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.
Alabaster Lord:
Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.
Onyx Lord:
Same as the Alabaster Lord but slightly more goth.
Fell Twins:
Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.
Demi-Human Queens:
I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.
Stonedigger Troll:
If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.
Flying Dragon Greyll:
A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.
Glintstone Dragon Smarag:
A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.
Beastman of Farum Azula:
On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.
Battlemage Hugues:
Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.
Commander O'Neil:
Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.
Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:
The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.
Adan, Thief of Fire:
The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.
Soldier of Godrick:
He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.
Flying Dragon Agheel:
One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.
Demi-Human Chief:
Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.
Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
Lichdragon Fortissax:
A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.
Crucible Knight Siluria:
A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.
Mimic Tear:
A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?
Commander Niall:
A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.
Fire Giant:
Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.
Ancient Hero of Zamor:
Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.
Cleanrot Knight:
Lesbian activities detected.
Crucible Knight:
These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.
Glintstone Dragon Adula:
Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.
Bols, Carian Knight:
He seems like a good boy.
Scaly Misbegotten:
I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.
Leonine Misbegotten:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
Misbegotten Warrior:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
Crucible Knight Ordovis:
Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.
Perfumer Tricia:
She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.
Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:
You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.
Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:
As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.
Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
Dragonlord Placidusax:
Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...
Ancient Dragon Lansseax:
Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.
Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):
We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)
Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
Radagon of the Golden Order:
He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.
Godskin Duo:
Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.
Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:
The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.
God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:
Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.
Black Knife Assassin:
They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.
Patches:
If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.
#meme#shitpost#do not take seriously#Elden Ring#Elden Ring memes#Elden Ring Fuckability#Elden Ring Ranking#Elden Ring Shitpost#Ranking#monster fucker#from software#tw: sex mention#Dark Souls#Radagon of the Golden Order#Godskin Duo#Vyke#Knight of the Roundtable#God-Devouring Serpent#Rykard#Lord of Blasphemy#Black Knife Assassin#Patches#Dragonkin Soldier#Astel Naturalborn of the Void#Fia's Champions#Regal Ancestor Spirit#Erdtree Avatar#Great Wyrm Theodorix#Ulcerated Tree Spirit#Tibia Mariner
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Lets be real, the void really needs to take a chill pill one of these days. Shits wiggin’
(The very thought of this image possessed me until it was made)
#drifter posting#warframe#warframe 1999#warframe drifter#guardian spiral#petition for de to give us interactions of the drifter learning 1990s slang#i looked up a whole list trying to find an equivalent for tryhard#originally the text was gonna be something like#the horrors persist but at this point its just cringe#but cringe also doesnt really have an analogue#its like trying to translate particles from japanese to english#surely theres something thatd work#alas#till then#shitposting#oc art#‘sniper supersoldier and mutated hacker teach local thousand year old time lord modern slang’#what happens next will shock you#(vor in the undrcroft starts his speech#drifter interrupts him like ‘damn#remade by the void and still a tool huh’#‘thats hella lame’#and vor just has to take a moment)
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why does he look so sarcastic here
im semi positive thats not whats supposed to be being conveyed but its so like stable compared to the other ones
someones "PLEASE DONT KILL ME" and Dex goes "oHhhHH pLeasE DoNt KiLl me THATS WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE"

Dexter Doll's facial expression references
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in case some of you were wondering what i’ve been up to:
(Slight sound warning) Been playing Voices of the Void. Yes, my base is always like this. Yes, the music is always on.
#I made my base into a gigantic shitpost to help distract myself from the horrors (this game gives me nightmares sometimes)#Sorry for not posting much i’ve been gaming too hard lmao#Votv#voices of the void#my video#gaming
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Game: Take his heartbeat! 🥰💓
Sylus: What if our heartrates synchronized...? 😏
My first-aid trained ass: Sir 130 bpm is TOO fast, I'm worried about you :/
#i know hes not exactly human lol#but still#what am i supposed to do with those numbers except go into First Aider mode?#rambling into the void#shitpost#lads sylus#sylus#love and deepspace#lads#also you do not take a pulse from the chest lmaooo. unless u have the doctor thingie lol#its wrist when theyre conscious and neck otherwise
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quick interpretation of what i think fucky wucky would look like below
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime oc#i think?#well this was thought of a while ago and finally thought to draw and post it#pops from the void like a dolphin with a shitpost#doodles
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Imagine if there is a cross guild, red haired pirate and Strawhat three way Davy back fight. And Mihawk and Zoro actually do get matched up but instead of a sword duel like they’d be hyped up for it’s a gun fight. And the only person that actually nominated a gunnman, Beckman, is the red hair pirates.
The first half of the competition is just Yasopp teaching both of them how to actually shoot a gun while Beckman watches amused at the identical look of upset on the swordsmen.
(This was all Shanks plan so he could go all get Mihawk on his crew)
#it’s the battle of the first Mates#two bad two of Beck’s competitors brought knives to a gun fight#zoro and mihawk can have their fated duel later this is a family gathering#I just think it’s so funny cause buggy would immediately play Mihawk for the first round Zoro would want to fight whatever round mihawk is I#and the rhps would be the only ones to put some actual thought it it#I read a great rhp vs straw hat pirates Davy back fight which inspired this#also the rules of the game are losey goosy who knows what the event will be#Mihawk would demolish Zoro in a gun fight tho after he and zoro have to get a quick intro to guns from yasopp that is#one piece#throwing thoughts to the void#dracule mihawk#op#hawkeye mihawk#red haired pirates#benn beckman#mishanks#is implied of of course because Shanks finds everything mihawk does adorable#roronoa zoro#zoro#goth fam#shanks#cross guild#strawhat pirates#the strawhats#one piece funny#one piece shitpost
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after drawing robert so much i realized something
i love drawing gums bro its so cool
#spooky month robert#robert spooky month#spooky month#shitposting from the void#[🖍️] jace draws sometimes
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you can see that he just kinda grabbed his hand and pulled him up too??
AU where literally everything's the same except Jack fucked up the prank and just pulls Bob's body onto the floor
thinking about how in the newgrounds ending jack just casually dragged around & posed bobs corpse
like how strong is he⁉️
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All these recipes call for extra virgin olive oil. well what if my olive oil’s a bit of a slut? I think we should all strive to be more accepting
#shitpost hours#guys I’m so bored now that my degree is done#there is a void where my stress used to be#and now I’m. like. wandering around my kitchen and poking around at pillbugs outside#and trying to identify vintage jewelry. I have time and I’m doing weird things with it#I found a certina watch from like 1969#I don’t think it’s worth jackshit but it’s cool and I like it.#it doesn’t work though. maybe I’ll get into watch repair.#my parents were like ‘come home and take the month off before job searching’#so I did and now I’m identifying watches and monitoring dove activity in my yard#there’s these two mourning doves that eat the birdseed that the bluejay knocks over.
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The Warrior of Light was subsequently banned from the Leveilleur household.
#i only just unlocked ameliances outfits AND id gotten a jumpscare from how i dressed zhloe and adkiragh both#so i thought#yknow what i guess this is a theme now#ffxiv#ffxiv meme#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv shitposting#ff14#final fantasy 14#ameliance leveilleur#fourchenault leveilleur#this is not ic. please dont interpret my shitposts as being ic. i cannot stress enough how much i want you to not Do That#never again. spare me from repeated tragedy#<---- trauma screaming into the void
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ok so hypothetically with the way sophie’s teleporting works would she just like. be banned from races of any kind because she’d inevitably think super hard on where she wants to go and already be traveling fast and just teleport there?
like she’s doing a silly lil bike race (she canonically rode a bike as a kid and he probably figured out how to ride one in the forbidden cities) w/ keefe one moment and the next she’s in the void and she’s like :| and does the Teleport of Shame to the finish line to hail him to apologize and wait for him. fitz invites her to go running with him at evergreen but makes it clear it’s not a race because he’s heard what happens when she races people, and they’re doing fine jogging for a while and then she sees biana off-course and gets too excited and accidentally runs into her the ground via teleporting.
if she’s in a cab with dex on a forbidden cities mission, could she accidentally teleport the cab to their destination?? how would the black swan cover that up???
#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#sophie foster#i was trying to explain kotlc lore to a friend and they were like WHAT HAPPENS IF SHE GOES IN A CAR and i was like. wait what DOES happen i#she goes in a car?? canon hasn’t answered#kotlc shitpost#bro how would stina’s family’s horses feel if sophie accidentally teleported one of them. like it’s only alicorns that can teleport what#happens if you just take a random horse into the void. would it behave well??#tbh i think most horses would never wanna go near sophie again if that happened#i think tam would find her accidental teleporting incredibly funny in casual situations and super stressful on missions#like he’s holding out a bag of chips and goes “who wants one?” and sophie sprints so fast she teleports into him#on the other hand if they’re on a raid of a neverseen base and suddenly sophie’s just Gone with little to no explanation of where she’s#going??? bro’s gonna be 0.5 seconds away from losing his shit
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Sylus, postfight: We took out the trash.
MC: That's because we're-
Me, unsure: ... garbage collectors...?
MC: That good!
Me: Oh!
#like my post and tell me i'm funny#like those justgirlythings/tumblr posts from 2012 that said buy me pizza and touch my butt#or something#rambling into the void#to delete#shitpost#lads sylus#sylus x mc#love and deepspace#kpb plays lads
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