#shut up about hockey

[anxsity]

i need hockey back bc im tired of people posting other athletes asses and going "that ass 🍑 😩" and its absolutely nothing a random fourth liner couldnt upstage

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

Leonard 'Cold As Ice' Snart: Huh. It's been almost twenty minutes since I explained to a murderer just how much Flash and I like each other. I better do something about that.

[larsnicklas]

some call him... the YAPtain...

[luvbug724]

ok my turn

jersey design by @capcavan !!!

[romansmartini]

thinking about guys who love each other so much they’re compelled to share the same physical space

[linskywords]

I absolutely love how its basically canon that Trevor is Jack's Annoying Friend who thinks Quinn is the coolest guy ever and Quinn is just even more exhausted

Hahaha yes Quinn is canonically The Most Exhausted. I plan to honor this truth in the Trevor sequel and in the Quinn wolfverse installment I have planned for later this year. 😅

[compo67]

i am LIVING for closeups of devastated o*lers fans in the crowd

[neonkoii]

happy two year anniversary to the very beginning of my descent into madness (the day i added my hockey guy on social media) (it all went downhill from there)

[spoonerisrns]

My beloved: I can't believe you made a hockey blog.

Me: Me neither. I did not have suddenly becoming a sports gay on my bingo card for my thirties.

My beloved: It's wildly out of character and I love it.

[sergeifyodorov]

I’m very curious about why Leafs-Oilers SCF would be “Good Hockey”! What would make it Good, and what would make it Good-er than other potential combos?

few reasons

the hockey

stanley cup final is between a good western team and a good eastern team. kind of obvious but that means there are only so many possible combinations of hockey that you can make, and not all of them are interesting to neutral observers!

ok ignoring my obvious leafsguy bias. if i want to watch a stanley cup final i want the two teams facing off to be not only good at hockey but also engagingly good at hockey -- i want excitement! i want goals! i want it to be fairly evenly matched but in a way that brings UP both teams' strengths and potentially also provides highlight-reel Fuckery. some teams, let's be honest, are straight up not fun to watch if they're not Your Guys, or sometimes they will bring other teams down to their level and be less fun. i do not hate the wild but they're nicknamed the mild for a reason, you know?

there are a few teams that are Good but not Fun (carolina) and many many teams that are Fun but not Good (sens). Goodness is fairly easy to quantify, but Funness is a little more nebulous. here is my proposition for the first few Fun Qualities:

at least two stars (super-type, not dallas-type. in roope and robo's case they Are both though), or at least two guys who stand a step above the rest in terms of quality. homoerotic devotion optional but strongly preferred

quality more stemming from Hijinks than Systems. in Systems hockey everyone kind of does the same thing. in Hijinks hockey we get sillay with it

really good and sexy offense. defense optional but strongly preferred

i would like it if they didn't try and kill people on the regular

patrick kane is not there

examples of teams that are Good And Also Fun (imho)

devils (this pisses me off because of how well whatever the fuck they did worked)(that whatever the fuck is tanking, getting lucky, and signing for the underlyings)

stars

oilers (this pisses me off for reasons i can neither name nor describe)

leafs

even if you count on this list not being comprehensive (it isn't), this does not leave us with a lot of options. this is my campaign for leafsoilers though so we forge onward

2. the narrative

i am weaving a web i am webweaving. it is about connor mcdavid. it is about the curse. (you know the one). it is about the fact that the greatest player of our generation was born just outside toronto, a leafs fan born and raised. it is about the fact that on the year another generational legend was set to be picked into the league, that wayne gretzky's original team won the lottery.

the leafs won their own lottery, too, of course. one year later. they missed out on connor by a year and instead took auston matthews, the ovi to connor's sid. the goalscorer to the playmaker. the ferocious competitor to the good humble perfect canadian boy. as sid and ovi were rivals back then, so must mcdavid and matthews be. every cup run either of the older pair had, one of them defeated the other. as above, so below.

3. god damn it, patrick roy

no canadian team has won a cup since patrick roy's montreal canadiens did in 1993. he got humiliated at the forum, cursed out the habs, and ended seventy years of dominance. the league, supplied as it is in significant portion by canadian fans and players, is really pressed about telling this to us at every opportunity. they would goddamn shut up about it as soon as it was canadian on canadian violence in the scf please god.

[larsnicklas]

Oh, boy. Really don't wanna get emotional here, but you know, there was a moment there this season where I thought this day wouldn't really come, and, um, I had guys at one point tell me that they'd strap me to their back and carry me on the ice to get me to a thousand, so I love you guys for that. I love going to work with you every day. It's been an absolute pleasure. Love you guys.

[slaymiedrysdale]

WDYM I have to wait till next season to see him again.

[3416]

Mitch Marner with an impressive assist to continue his 14 game point streak.

Leafs vs Devils | 11.23.22

[brockachu]

i’m about to say something that’s prolly gonna be ~unpopular~ but i really don’t get what y’all are dunking on wright’s quote about having a chip on his shoulder

y’all talk big shit bout wanting hockey players to have a personality — yknow what comes with personality? being outspoken and saying you believe in yourself with your full chest. what was he supposed to say? ‘oh i’m sorry it’s on me i fell in the draft they’re right i Suck and deserve to go lower’

watch literally Any of the other pro team sports and this is how guys talk, bc basketball, baseball, football, & soccer? they don’t expect perfect fealty to their management overlords for the sake of a fake image of team solidarity, which ftr we know isn’t true bc how many of these teams have stood behind literal abusers but not stood up for their own players of color?

like sorry to once again talk about systems & structures of power but respectability politics & the demand to be ‘proper’ and ‘polite’ and ‘earn your respect’ — that stuff feeds into the culture of why the nhl has basically no actual players’ association, faulty medical rights, & minimal mobility for diversity and inclusion. demanding players to all fit into one mold of ‘the right way to talk’ is at best making the most boring sports personalities in the world and at worst making more disposable bodies for the nhl to churn out, bc a player that doesn’t question what the system is doing to them is a player than can be gotten rid of when they’re no longer valuable

[bedardconnor]

on todays episode of the veteran nhl players on bedsys team wont pass to him while he's wide open, we see how the veteran nhl players on bedsys team wont pass to him while he's wide open

[fraddit]

I dreamed that I was a professional hockey player and that my hockey nickname was "the hammer" and during home games, they would play bits of MC Hammer's Can't Touch This whenever I did cool hockey things. Also I had gray hair in a sexy butch cut, but importantly, even in my dream, I still couldn't get it to lay right half the time because of all my cowlicks.