#and after that we didn’t talk much for most of last summer until suddenly we went anc saw the barbie movie together. and after that

[rosemariiaa]

~Lines we Drew~

part: 6 last part

pairing: Paige x Azzi

a/n: well..i really liked this series yall, but let me not get sappy 😞. I hope you enjoy this last part as much as I loved writing it, Im also thinking of doing an epilogue do y’all want that? other than that i love youuu 💌

themes: angst, language, fluff

Enjoy!!!

The air between them was still heavy from the argument. Paige’s body felt like it was burning from the inside out, anger boiling under her skin as she replayed the words exchanged with Azzi. She could feel the tears building, but she refused to let them fall in front of Azzi. Not again.

Paige clenched her fists and turned away, storming off down the hall. Her vision blurred as the tears finally slipped out, and before she even realized it, her feet had taken her back to her dorm.

She didn’t stop until she reached Nika’s room, barging in without knocking, plopping onto Nika’s bed in a crumpled mess of tears and frustration.

“What the hell happened?” Nika asked, clearly taken aback, but there was concern in her voice.

Paige buried her face into Nika’s pillow, her voice muffled, “Everything. It’s all just… fucked.”

Nika sat beside her, rubbing her back gently. “You wanna talk about it?”

For a few moments, Paige was silent, the weight of everything pressing down on her chest. “It’s Azzi… we argued again. I—I told her how I feel… how I’ve always felt… and I just… broke.” Nika’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, you mean—”

“I mean everything,” Paige interrupted. “She left me, Nika. She fucking left me when I needed her the most. And she just acts like it wasn’t that big of a deal. Like… like I didn’t matter.”

Nika’s hand stilled on Paige’s back, her expression softening. “Paige…”

“It was my birthday, Nika,” Paige whispered. “The day she left. She didn’t even say goodbye. Just disappeared… left me with all this shit. My parents had just divorced, and I had no one to talk to… except her. And she just vanished.”

The floodgates opened, and Paige sobbed into the pillow, all the anger, pain, and heartbreak from years ago pouring out at once. Nika stayed quiet, letting Paige release everything she had held inside for so long.

———-

As Paige stormed off, Azzi stood frozen, watching her walk away with tears streaming down her face. Her heart ached seeing Paige like that, and for a moment, she wanted to chase after her, to stop her and fix everything… but she couldn’t. Suddenly, she was pulled back to that summer years ago, to the day before she left.

Flashback to USA Basketball Camp

She was just 15, playing on the USA Basketball team with Paige, and even back then, their connection was undeniable. But there was also something else. Something that confused her, scared her. Azzi was starting to realize her feelings for Paige weren’t just about basketball, weren’t just friendship. And that terrified her.

She remembered sitting at the kitchen table with her mom, Katie, the night before she left for good.

“Mom, I don’t know what to do,” Azzi admitted, her voice trembling. “I… I think I have feelings for Paige. But I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with that, I’ve never felt this way..towards anyone. I don’t know if I’m… ready for any of this.”

Katie looked at her with a soft, understanding smile, placing her hand on Azzi’s. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now, Az. It’s okay to be confused.”

“But what if I hurt her?” Azzi asked, tears brimming in her eyes. “What if I can’t… what if I’m not what she needs?”

Katie sighed gently. “Paige loves you, Azzi. That’s obvious. But you can’t make decisions out of fear. Whatever you choose, I’ll support you. Just be sure of one thing… Paige will understand, but you also can’t be surprised if there’s another reaction.”

Azzi had nodded, but deep down, she didn’t believe it. So the next morning, she left. She left Paige without a word, without an explanation. She couldn’t face her, couldn’t confront her own feelings. She didn’t even tell Paige goodbye. The guilt haunted her every day.

She thought she could run away from it, that distance would make it easier, but instead, it only made it worse.

———-

Present Day

Hours later, Paige, Azzi, and the team found themselves at a bar downtown. Nika had insisted that a night out would help everyone cool down and lighten the mood, but as soon as Azzi walked in and saw Paige across the room, all the tension came flooding back.

Paige was already at the bar, nursing a drink, her eyes flicking up to meet Azzi’s briefly before looking away. Azzi tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest, but after a few drinks, she couldn’t take it anymore. She walked over to Paige, standing beside her.

“We need to talk,” Azzi said, her voice low.

Paige snorted, downing the rest of her drink before turning to face her. “Talk? Now you wanna talk?”

Azzi hesitated, seeing the fire in Paige’s eyes, but pressed on. “I’m sorry. I should’ve—”

“Sorry? You think sorry is enough?” Paige interrupted, her voice rising. “You fucking left me, Azzi. You didn’t say goodbye. You didn’t give me a chance to… to understand. You just left.”

“I didn’t know what to do!” Azzi said, her voice desperate. “I was scared, Paige. I was confused. I thought leaving was the only way.”

The bar had gone quiet, people turning to watch their argument unfold, but neither of them cared.

Azzi’s eyes filled with tears. “I never wanted to hurt you, Paige. I didn’t know how to handle… us. I was scared.” “Scared of what?” Paige asked, her voice breaking. “Of me? You know what I can’t..I’m not doing this Az.”

Paige stormed out of the bar, her heart pounding in her chest, tears blurring her vision. She felt the heat of anger and betrayal boiling inside her, twisting her gut. She couldn’t believe how everything had spiraled out of control. The chaos of emotions threatened to drown her, and she just needed to get away.

She hurried down the street, not knowing where she was going but desperate to escape the suffocating weight of it all. All she knew was that she couldn’t face anyone right now.

“Paige! Wait!” Azzi’s voice cut through the night, pulling her back from her spiraling thoughts.

Paige paused but didn’t turn around. “What do you want, Azzi? Another half-assed apology?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm, masking the pain beneath.

Azzi caught up, grabbing her wrist gently but firmly. “No, I—I need to explain.”

Paige yanked her hand away, her heart racing. “Explain what? How you ghosted me when I was falling apart? Or how you dipped without a word and shattered my heart on my damn birthday?”

Azzi’s expression fell, guilt washing over her. “I know I hurt you, but—”

“But what, Azzi?” Paige interrupted, her voice shaking with frustration. “You left when I needed you the most! I was drowning, and you just ran away. You weren’t there for me when my parents divorced, when everything was crumbling. You were my rock, and you just disappeared!”

Azzi swallowed hard, feeling the weight of every accusation. “I’m sorry..I didn’t know that, I didn’t know how to handle it, Paige. I was lost, too.”

“Lost? You just left me!” Paige’s chest heaved with every word, anger mixing with hurt. “You were supposed to be my best friend. I thought I could count on you!”

Azzi’s heart ached, guilt crashing over her like waves. “I was scared,” she confessed, her voice breaking. “I was so confused about everything—about you, about me.., about us, and the pressure from the media, the coaches… I couldn’t deal with it. So I ran. I thought it would be easier.” Paige’s chest tightened, her emotions spilling over. “You didn’t give me the chance! You could have at least tried!”

Azzi took a shaky breath, the rawness of their argument hanging heavily in the air. “And I regret that every day. But I didn’t want to drag you down with my mess, Paige. I thought leaving would be better for both of us.”

Paige’s anger flickered, a new understanding dawning on her. “I get that you were scared, Azzi,” she said softly, her voice trembling. “But I was scared too. I felt so alone when you weren’t there. I thought we could face it together. I thought you understood what I was going through.”

“I should have been there,” Azzi said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I should have known you needed me, and instead, I just ran away.”

“Yeah, you did.” Paige paused, her tears glistening in the dim light. “And it hurt like hell. But I can see now that you were hurting too. I just… I needed you to be strong when I couldn’t be.”

Azzi looked down, guilt washing over her. “I wanted to be strong. But it was all too much for me, Paige. I was terrified of what my feelings meant, terrified of messing things up even more. I couldn’t handle the pressure and my feelings for you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Paige asked, her heart softening as she reached for Azzi’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “We could have figured it out together.”

“I was scared of losing you,” Azzi admitted, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I thought leaving was the only way to protect both of us.”

Paige’s heart ached at Azzi’s confession. “I didn’t realize you were dealing with so much too. It felt like I was the only one hurting, but now I see how we both were. I just… I wish you hadn’t left me, especially on my birthday.”

Azzi’s eyes shimmered with remorse as she reached into her pocket, pulling out a small, delicate infinity necklace. “I left this for you. Under your pillow before I left. I thought maybe one day you’d find it and understand… But when it got sent back, I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Paige stared at the necklace, confusion mixing with the flood of emotions. “I’ve never seen that before,” she murmured, wiping her eyes. “How did it get sent back to you?”

Before Azzi could respond, the bar door swung open, and Jose, stepped outside, overhearing their conversation. “Wait, are you talking about that necklace?” he called out, pointing.

Azzi nodded, her heart racing. “Yeah, why?”

Jose shrugged, looking sheepish. “One of the coaches found it in your room at camp and sent it back to the house. I thought you knew.” Azzi blinked, disbelief flashing across her face. “Well, obviously not!”

Jose gave them an awkward smile before retreating back inside. They stood there for a moment, stunned, then burst into soft, teary laughter—laughter that felt like a release.

Azzi stepped closer, taking a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, Paige. For everything. For leaving, for being a coward, for hurting you when you needed me the most.”

Paige felt her heart clench, tears still falling. She reached out, taking the necklace from Azzi’s trembling hands. “I didn’t think I’d ever see this,” she whispered, looking up into Azzi’s eyes. “You’ve always meant so much to me.” Azzi nodded, her eyes glistening. “I never stopped caring about you, Paige. I was just too scared to face it all.”

Without thinking, Paige stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and kissed Azzi softly. It was hesitant at first, but as Azzi kissed her back, the world around them faded. It was just them—two hearts finding their way back to each other, the weight of the past still there, but lighter somehow.

When they finally pulled away, both breathless, they lingered close, foreheads touching. “I want to be with you, Azzi,” Paige murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “I’ve always wanted that. I’m sorry I didn’t see your pain before.”

“I want that too. I want to try,” Azzi replied, her voice trembling with sincerity. “Whatever it takes, I promise to never leave you again.”

“Good, because I’ll be damned if I let you go again,” Paige whispered, a small smile breaking through the tears.

“Deal,” Azzi replied, grinning through her tears.

———-

Game day: UConn vs. Villanova

The next day, the gym buzzed with excitement as the team prepared for their game against Villanova. The atmosphere was electric, a mix of nerves and adrenaline. Paige and Azzi exchanged glances during warmup, a silent understanding passing between them.

As the game started, they fell into a rhythm, communicating effortlessly on the court. Azzi set a perfect screen for Paige, who cut to the basket, receiving a crisp pass that she finished with a layup. The crowd erupted, and for the first time in a long while, everything felt right.

The tension in the gym grew as Villanova pressed hard, trying to claw back into the game. Just when it seemed they might gain an edge, a player drove to the hoop, determined to score. But Azzi was ready.

“YEAH!” Paige yelled as she watched Azzi leap into the air, her timing impeccable. With a powerful swat, Azzi blocked the shot, sending the ball flying across the court. The crowd erupted into cheers, and Paige was right there, pumping her fists in the air. “That’s what I’m talking about!” she shouted, her voice filled with excitement.

Geno smiled from the sidelines, nodding in approval as the team rallied around Azzi. “That’s the energy we need!” he called out, clapping his hands together.

As the game progressed, the chemistry between Paige and Azzi shone through. With Nika assisting from the wing, they executed a flawless fast break, leading to another basket.

In the final moments of the game, with the score tied, Paige found herself with the ball. She dribbled, her heart racing as she spotted Azzi cutting toward the hoop. Without hesitation, she tossed the ball to Azzi, who caught it mid-air, spinning around her defender and sinking the shot just as the buzzer sounded.

The crowd erupted in cheers as their team celebrated the victory. Paige grabbed Azzi in a whirlwind of excitement, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. “We did it!”

Azzi laughed, a sound of pure joy. “You’re crazy!” she yelled, her heart soaring.

As the team celebrated, they all gathered in a huddle, chanting and cheering.

———-

After the game, Instead of heading out with the team to celebrate, they quietly made their way to Azzi’s dorm, wanting to be alone together. Once inside, the door closed behind them, sealing off the noise of the world. The room felt cozy and intimate, filled with the lingering energy from the game. Azzi turned to Paige, her heart racing.

“Can you believe we won, I mean they were going really hard tonight?” Azzi said, her eyes sparkling.

“Of course I can, with the way we played I had no doubt, you were amazing Az,” Paige replied, her voice filled with enthusiasm. “But right now, I just want to be here with you. Just us.”

Azzi nodded, her heart warming at the thought. They settled onto the bed, surrounded by pillows and blankets. The weight of the past started to lift, and as they shared stories and laughter, everything felt right.

As the night deepened, Azzi began to drift off, her head resting comfortably on Paige’s chest. Paige gently stroked Azzi’s hair, feeling a wave of contentment wash over her. She thought Azzi was fast asleep when a sudden wave of love hit her like a tidal wave.

“I love you,” Paige whispered softly, her heart vulnerable and exposed. She thought the words would hang in the air, but in the stillness of the room, they felt like a promise.

“I love you too,” Azzi whispered back, her voice barely audible but filled with warmth.

Paige’s heart leaped at the sound, her eyes widening in disbelief. A smile broke out on her face, one so bright it could light up the room

Their smiles grew wider, the unbreakable bond between them solidifying in that moment. As they settled into each other, everything felt right, the past behind them and the future ahead filled with possibility.

———-

a/n: okay i’m sad now bye. oops forgot to tag my lovelies @thaatdigitaldiary @patscorner @imaginespazzi

[neonkoii]

happy two year anniversary to the very beginning of my descent into madness (the day i added my hockey guy on social media) (it all went downhill from there)

[rinniessance]

DADDY'S FAVORITE GIRL ༊*·˚ - step dad!gojo x fem!reader

going away for college, the last thing you expected to come back to in the summer is a new step-dad. and you do not like the dangerous glint in his eyes every time he looks at you.

꒰ warnings: nsfw - dark content - mdni .ᐟ.ᐟ non-curse au. step dad!gojo, stepcest, age difference (reader is implied to be 21, gojo is in his late 30s), dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, cheating, heavy daddy kink, so many pet names (babygirl, pretty, doll, princess etc.), slight dacraphyllia, slight overstimulation, breeding kink, unprotected sex, virginity loss, corruption kink. plot is kinda messy 'cause i was rushing to get to the smut, sowwy ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ // word count: 5.1k ꒱ ꒰ notes: i am freely being my most disgusting self, thank you for supporting my little insane brain .ᐟ.ᐟ꒱

going away for college, the last thing you expected to come back to during summer break is a new step-dad. ever since your parents divorced when you were 14, your mom has been single – your teenage years, she dedicated herself to you, protecting you from your scumbag father, focusing on your future. you even agreed to delay your college admittance until you were 20, taking two gap years after your high school to stay at your hometown with her. your mom has the worst case of separation anxiety – which is why maybe you should’ve been more concerned when she gradually stopped texting you as the days went on. you assumed the best – maybe she found a hobby, maybe she reconnected with old friends, maybe she finally realized you are an adult and stopped babying you every waking moment. what you did not expect is for her to get married.

these are the thoughts running through you head as you stand in the middle of your living room, fresh out the airport, gawking at the man sleeping on the couch, and wonder how the fuck that happened. you would’ve honestly screamed and thought this was a squatter, or a robber, if not for all the wedding pictures obnoxiously decorating almost every available surface (god, how many photos do you need?). you try not to think too much about it – the flight was 6 hours, you barely got any sleep sitting to the smelliest man on the planet, and you just want to take a shower and go to bed. just as you start walking off, the front door swings open.

“oh my god, sweetheart, you’re home!” your mom’s voice booms through the quiet room resonating like a thunderclap in the middle of a still field. she runs to you, immediately pulling you into a hug which you happily return. you’re genuinely delighted to see her, albeit feeling a little weirded out by a man she decided to bring home. your mother looks over to the couch, man’s sleeping figure not moving once, and sighs with exasperation. “i assume he didn’t pick you up?”

“no but it’s okay…” you whisper quietly and gesture towards the figure on the couch with your head, “about that, though…”

“yeah, honey, i know, i am sorry i didn’t tell you. everything has been happening so quickly, i haven’t even had time to process it myself!” she squealed like a school girl. “his name is satoru gojo and we met at the charity event i went to six months ago.”

“since when do you attend charity events?” you ask, quirking the brow upwards.

“oh, i didn’t know what to do with myself ever since you moved out so i’ve been trying anything and everything. and look, the results have been phenomenal!” she giggled, frustration she had towards her husband about not picking you up melting away in front of your eyes. god, he really had her wrapped around his finger.

“okay, well, i am kind of tired so i wanted to go to bed. is it okay if we talk about this tomorrow?”

your mom suddenly looks down at her feet, a little embarrassed. what did she do.

“yes, about that… that room was sitting unutilized the whole time you were away so satoru and i thought it would be a good idea to remake it into a home office, kind of. your bed is still in there though! so you can sleep in the room no problem.”

“mom, what the fuck…” you whine. not only your room with all your memories and all your personality was gone and demolished, you now have to sleep in the room that was most likely used by him. “home office” my ass, you thought – your mom would not need it in a million years, and by the way she’s avoiding your gaze in shame, it was definitely not her idea.

“i’m sorry baby, but you’ve been away and…”

you interrupt her with a wave of your hand.

“whatever, i’m too tired to think about it. i’ll take a shower and go to bed, i don’t wanna deal with him until tomorrow,” you sigh with frustration and walk off into your home office, dropping your things on the floor.

what you don’t see as you walk off is the dangerous glint in satoru’s eyes as he listens to every bits of your conversation. you said the last sentence with so much poison, he thinks it might’ve struck him dead. gojo knows it will be difficult to get on your good side now but he likes to play these games on hard mode.

oh, you will be so much fun to break.

gojo satoru is a patient man – when he really wants something, he is content to wait until he gets it. that being the main reason why he approaches you slowly. it’s the next day after you arrive that he has a chance to introduce himself properly.

you leave the room after having the best night’s sleep – you really didn’t mind waking up in the office today, you must’ve been too tired to think straight and threw a fit yesterday. you make a mental note to apologize to your mom later. as you turn into the kitchen, you’re met with the view you wish did not have such a strong effect on you – your step-dad, freshly out of the shower, grey sweatpants low riding on his hips, is preparing what seems to be breakfast.

you’re so fucked.

you try to shake off the feeling of arousal washing over you. you may not have had a chance to have any sexual experiences yet, but you’re not that much of a virgin not to know when you’re feeling horny. you just wish it wasn’t due to the incredibly hot step-dad. the left-over frustration from previous night bubbles up like over spilled champagne and you decide to keep your distance. anger helps you keep yourself grounded, and you maneuver around the man to make breakfast, but you see that he prepared it for you already.

“oh, thank you,” you say quietly as he extends the plate to you.

“you’re very welcome, sweetheart.”

the nickname sends a shiver down your spine.

gojo turns to face you and gives you his breathtaking smile. you want to choke on your toast.

“i wanted to apologize for not picking you up yesterday. your mom told me so much about you, and i was excited to meet her ‘favorite girl’,” his eyes spark with a dangerous glint at the nickname, making you shrink into yourself, “but my work held me up, and then i think i went for a quick nap and… uh… ended up falling asleep,” he says with a light chuckle.

“that’s okay, i didn’t really mind the train ride,” you respond with visible discomfort,

he now stands next to you by the counter, his body heat palpable, melting over you like a scorching son. gojo’s all-teeth smile is gorgeous, frustratingly enough, but it makes your skin crawl: like a prey walking into the carefully designed trap, you can feel your gut asking you to run. it makes sense your mom fell for him so easily.

“will you let me make up for it? let’s go our for a dinner, i’m sure your mom would be delighted to hear we’re trying to get along.”

“i don’t know, i haven’t seen my friends in some time, i think i’ll be hanging out with them for a while,” you shuffle from leg to leg, trying to move away

“that’s okay, we have a whole summer ahead.”

for some reason it felt more like a threat than a promise.

you smile politely back, not knowing what to say, rushing to finish your breakfast. the image of your step-dad, half-naked in your family kitchen talking to you about his plans with you for the whole summer should be weird – it’s difficult to find it weird when the said step-dad is criminally hot, unfortunately.

“i think i’ll go now, thanks for the breakfast,” gojo’s gives you a smile so sweet, it somehow triggers a toothache, and waves you off. since yesterday, he’s been making you feel extremely on edge for no apparent reason, it’s driving you a little insane.

when you come back home that evening, you are greeted by both your mom and satoru with the dinner ready. she babbles about how great of a cook he is, and that she can’t wait until you try it. you politely decline citing that you’re full and quickly leave for your room – satoru’s blue eyes were looking at you with almost an animalistic stare, and you hated that you liked it.

gojo thought things were going well with you – he’s given you the space you need in the first two weeks after you arrived. your mom was overjoyed seeing how deeply satoru already cared about you – making sure you eat in the morning, not letting you go to bed without a meal, always checking on you throughout the day, keeping you safe. you, however, thought it was… weird, if anything, that he was all around you this intensely.

“oh, honey, that’s just how he shows that he cares. he was like that with me as well,” your mom tells you one of the nights when you bring it up. it worries you how easily she takes his side now and wonder if something else is going on.

satoru picks you up when you stay out too late, to the wee hour of the night when the subways stop running; he makes sure you have your nights with your mom, when he doesn’t intrude on your backyard conversations and only adores you pretty features from his second-floor window; he learns what movies and music and tv you like, trying to decipher the person that is you.

he’s been putting all this effort to get to know your every step – then why the fuck does he find you one night you kissing some random boy on your driveway?

you said you were going out today and no pickup was needed – now it makes sense why.

gojo satoru is a patient man. but even his patience can start running thin, trickling like water through cracks in the fingers. hourglass of his kindness has been half full for a while now – it’s about time the sand runs out.

you think a boy like him can give you what satoru can? just you wait and see.

kitchen is uncharacteristically quiet when you walk in. it’s the next morning, and usually by now, satoru would be making breakfast for you. his job is still unknown – you are not sure if he was suddenly called in but the feeling of happy solitude falls over you, even if for a moment.

your mom is gone at least for two weeks for work, you’re dreading the moment you have to be left alone with your step-dad. the look in his eyes yesterday was dangerous, a predator appraising its victim before sinking its teeth in, and you’re happy megumi was able to leave quickly after walking you home. surprisingly, gojo didn’t say you a word when you walked into the house, silently sitting in front of the tv like he didn’t just spy through the window on your kiss with the boy.

air in the room was heavy with tension – you knew satoru was avoiding looking your way, jaw clenched, hands balled into fists. instinctively, you wanted to break the silence, say something to discharge the electricity jumping through the atoms of your stuffy living room air, but ultimately decided against it. you have nothing to say to a man, and it’s not like you needed to justify your actions in front of him anyways. you quickly retreated into the office and avoided him until you fell asleep.

when you woke up to an empty apartment not even fifteen minutes ago, you felt relief. walking into the kitchen and confirming your presence alone, you even felt happy. then what is this weird feeling, almost as if you are missing something, nagging at you? you thought of going out today but now a strange desire to stay at home washes over.

you make breakfast for the first time since you came home (gojo didn’t skip a single day, you have no idea how he kept up with that), and you chastise yourself for feeling weird about cooking for yourself; and you chastise yourself again when your mind lingers on the thoughts of a certain white-haired man; and again when you look at your phone, convincing yourself it’s a bad idea to text him. god, you feel so stupid. didn’t you want him to stop being so unsettlingly sweet and dotting around you all the time?

conflicted by your irrationality once again, you frustratingly take your plate and sit down on the couch. flipping through the netlifx previews, you land on something to distract your mind by. you settle on some true crime documentary and let the horrors on the screen consume you, abandoning for a moment the thoughts plaguing your head.

you’ve been glued to the screen for at least two hours before you heard the jiggle of the keys. like an eager puppy, you waited for gojo to come inside and greet you like he would every day – only for him to completely ignore your presence, beelining straight for the kitchen. turning your head back to the tv, you try your best not to pay any attention to the uncharacteristic behavior from satoru’s end.

“i will be in the home office the whole day, don’t enter.”

before you can respond anything back, your step-dad is already walking off without sparing you a second glance. is he still upset from yesterday? you didn’t think kissing megumi would be that much of a deal. your nervously play with the hem of the blanket, show playing on tv long forgotten, contemplating what you should do next. why are you bothered by his silence this much anyways?

rethinking your earlier choice, you send a quick text to your friend asking to meet you for drinks. maybe right now gojo needs space, or whatever, and leaving him alone is the best next thing right now. you knock at the door of the home office.

“sorry, i am going out now and need to quickly change.”

not even 5 seconds pass before the door is swung open by a man that’s been occupying too much of your mental space today.

“be quick,” is the only response you get before he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. you’re perplexed by this sudden change in behavior yet again. throwing on the first decent outfit you can find, you let gojo know that you’re done and will be home later; hum is the only acknowledgment you get before he disappears in the office.

exiling all the thoughts of satoru gojo from your head, you leave your house, hoping tomorrow will put all the pieces of the puzzle back together.

yet the next day comes, and you still wake up to no warmth from satoru – it felt as if he built a wall between the two of you in one night’s span, impossible to be breached. should you talk to him? should you apologize? and apologize for what? you didn’t do anything wrong, did you? ignoring the gnawing feeling inside once more, you retreat to the living room, sulking on the couch until the end of the day, clawing onto the hope gojo of tomorrow will acknowledge your existence.

“did i do something wrong?”

you stand in the doorway to gojo’s office, arms crossed over your chest. he lazily turns his head your way as if giving you even a second of his time is too much of a bother – the look he sends you is burning through your core, making you pathetically weak and wet.

“no,” he starts slowly, “do you think you did something wrong?”

“i don’t know! that’s why i’m asking. you’ve been ignoring me for the past week, and it’s getting weird.”

“i thought i’d leave you alone, it seems you’re capable of having fun on your own.”

satoru is looking back to his screen now, and you scrunch your eyebrows, frustrated by the riddles he’s throwing your way. walking inside the room, your close the door on instinct and take wide steps to stand in front of him.

“stop answering me like this, we’re not playing a charade. what do you mean?” the demand in your voice is clear, and it twists something inside satoru – his gaze falls on you again yet this time it’s dark, taunting, dangerous, with a hint of chaos. it scares and excites you.

gojo suddenly stands up, and pushes you into his desk until you’re sitting on it. he is tall – your mom basically married a giant – and you try to curl into yourself to escape his malicious eyes.

“what, i thought you wanted me to leave your alone? you want my attention now all of a sudden?” he respond with the question of his own in a mocking tone.

“i never said i wanted you to ignore me…” you answer meekly, yelping slightly as your back hits his desk – you suddenly realize there is nowhere to run now.

“really? we’ve been together in a house for almost a month now, and yet you showed no interest in getting to know me.”

“’m sorry…” you cannot think of anything else to say. gojo moves even closer, and is now towering over you – it makes you embarrassingly horny.

“show me how sorry you are.”

before you can respond, he is caging your body with his and capturing your lips in a kiss, and you freeze – all of this is so wrong, you cannot bring yourself to start moving your mouth against his. gojo’s tongue coerces its way inside, exploring the undiscovered paths, his teeth biting your still lips. closing your eyes, you whimper and try to push him away but he only catches your wrists with his one hand, while the other plays with the hem of your shorts. a gasp escapes your lips, and you push yourself further into the desk, squirming under gojo’s body.

“what, you don’t like it? i thought my little girl wanted daddy’s attention?” he torments you, voice condescending and thick with mockery. all you can muster is a pathetic mewl, words lost somewhere inside your throat, and dig your fingers into the edge of your desk as your step-dad forces his digits inside your panties, lightly brushing against your clit.

“god, you’re already so wet, so filthy,” he whispers between the heated kisses as the pads of his fingers keep teasing your pussy. “tell me, babygirl, are you still a virgin? gotta know how to treat you.”

“y-yes…”

“well, am i just not the luckiest?” gojo chuckles darkly, spreading your legs with his thigh. unoccupied hand goes to grip your hip while the fingers on the other are still working your clit, sliding the digits between your puffy lips, teasing your hole. every time he circles around the entrance and mocks by pushing his finger just slightly inside, the moan builds up in your throat, and you’re too embarrassed to let it out.

“common, baby, your daddy wants to hear you, don’t hide your pretty voice from me.”

gojo is infuriatingly good with his fingers – you could never bring yourself this much pleasure from playing with your clit, and your defiance starts melting away as you find yourself bucking your hips into his hand, whining pitifully. the man completely removes your shorts and underwear, shoving the latter into his pocket – something to remember this moment by.

“god, such a pretty pussy, i can’t believe you’ve been hiding it from me. take off your shirt so i can see all of you, princess.”

immense desire pools between your legs, hunger and lust evident in satoru’s cerulean eyes, now hidden by dilated pupils, and you’re surrendering yourself to him – want makes you delirious, completely erasing your sense of right and wrong. you remove the top, nipples perked and waiting. gojo looks at you in wonder and disbelief – all of that for him? his hand went to squeeze your boob almost on an instinct, rolling the nipple between the pads of his fingers, while sucking on another with his mouth. you drop your head back, losing yourself to the intense pleasure your step-dad’s giving you. seeing as you’re distracted by him playing with your tits, he takes this as his chance to shove two of his fingers inside.

a strangled moan leaves your lips, your hands gripping man’s shoulders.

“ahhh, that hurts, satoru.”

“nah-uh, that’s not what i want to hear you calling me,” he straightens himself and starts scissoring you with his digits. the initial intrusion is painful, you can feel your virgin walls stretching to accommodate for how he’s dragging the fingers in and out, yet the burn is woefully delightful, and you’re getting lost again.

“’m sorry daddy.”

gojo only chuckles – god, you were easier than he expected, so well-behaved and pliable under him.

“that’s right, let daddy take good care of you.”

he speeds up the pace, curling his slender, pretty fingers, brushing the spots you were never able to reach with your own. wet, soggy sounds fill the entirety of the room, air already stuffy with smell of sex as he continues to finger-fuck your pussy. gojo could feel his cock twitching in his pants, he wanted to take you right there and then, but he was determined to make you cum on his digits first – it prompts him to attach his lips to your neck, sucking on the sensitive spot below your jawline, marking you as his.

your mewling turns louder, breathing is getting labored, and it seems your hips have a mind of their own now as they are bucking into satoru’s movements, fucking yourself how you need it. something akin to orgasm starts building up in your tummy – it has never felt this all-consuming, you wonder if you’ve been touching yourself wrong all this time.

“daddy, please don’t – ah! – stop,” is everything you can say in a measly attempt to ask him to speed up. his thumb finds your neglected clit, rubbing tight circles around your bundle of nerves, and picks up the pace, cunt now clenching even tighter around his two fingers, and gojo groans thinking how you’d feel around his aching dick. he adds a third finger – it’s angled so perfectly assault your special spongy spot, it turns your brain into a mush.

gojo pinches your nipple, kissing you to swallow all the lewd moans to himself.

“is my princess close?”

“yes daddy, ‘m so close.”

“common, cum all over my fingers, baby.”

these words finally push you over the edge – your climax washes over you like a cold morning shower, leaving you trembling in gojo’s hold. your legs are trying to close to stop the man from continuing his abuse on your twitching pussy but he is too lost in the feeling of your walls constricting around his fingers to allow you to do that. he fucks you through your orgasm, bringing you to the realm of overstimulation.

“ahh, daddy, please, it hurts now,” you whine with teary voice, beads of salty water gathering in the corners of your eyes.

“shhhh, daddy knows best, yeah? let me feel you a little longer.”

gojo keeps his pace until you’re clawing at his arm, trying to pull away your pussy from his fingers. he grabs you by the back of your head, bruising your lips with the intensity of his kiss – you’re sure he draws blood by how he bites your lower lip, licking the messy aftermath. you’re still whining and mewling, trails of tears finally flowing down your face, and he’s sure he’s never seen anything hotter as he licks the salty tracks.

“you’ve done so good, babygirl, i think you’re ready for the main gift,” satoru says and finally withdraws his fingers. the emptiness is welcoming yet disappointing, and you groan. gojo quickly unbuckles his pants and shoves them down, alongside his boxer briefs, and you almost choke on your spit when you see how well-endowed he is. you don’t have a lot to compare it to but you think his cock is beautiful – it's long and slender, and uncut, prominent vein running all the way from the base to just underside of his head, and you get an immeasurable desire to run your tongue along it.

“is my pretty doll drooling jus’ at the sight of my dick?” he mockingly asks you, making you turn your gaze away. gojo chuckles again, and grabs you by your chin, pulling your head down.

“no looking away, darling, i want you to see how i take your virginity.”

with no other option, you keep your gaze peeled downwards, to where gojo strokes himself couple of times before lining himself up with your leaking hole. despite all the preparation and your previous orgasm, you’re still incredibly tight and satoru groans as he starts pushing himself inside. you can see his smooth cockhead bullying his way into you, stretching your greedy walls – man feels you pulsating around him, and that makes him twitch.

“fuck, princess, you’re so tight, feels so good.”

gojo finally sinks all the way in, your cervix being met in a kiss by a swollen tip, and you moan, sound almost pornographic. your step-dad doesn’t let you adjust before he pulls out almost all the way before sliding back in – he doesn’t go easy on you for your first time, setting up a brutal pace, not caring if you’re ready to take him fully yet. it stings, and you have to hold yourself on gojo’s shoulder’s as he starts fucking into you. his hands are on your hips, guiding them to meet his thrusts.

“daddy please, ‘ts too much,” you cry out but satoru is all too lost in how your gummy walls perfectly hug his swollen cock. he doesn’t respond, shutting you up by forcing his tongue into his mouth yet again, sucking on every piece of available flesh. slowly, the tension in your body melts away and gives way to a new kind of pressure – the one building up in your tummy. you’re shocked at how fast your body is able to start getting on the road to blissful ecstasy again but you’re not complaining.

“shit, are you getting close already, babygirl? i can feel your pretty pussy squeezing me again.”

“yes, sorry daddy.”

“there is nothing to be sorry about, just means your daddy’s doing a good job,” he says with a grin, keeping up the pace, rutting into your sloppy cunt. queefing sounds and slapping of skin on skin make you blush furiously yet you can’t take away your gaze from where satoru keeps burying himself inside you.

the girth of gojo’s cock is deadly – not only he’s able to reach the spongy spot almost immediately, making white spots dancing across your vision, kaleidoscope of pleasure lighting up your every nerve ending, he is also bruising your cervix just with enough pressure to make you twitch in delight. his pubic bone grinds against your puffy clit and it’s setting up fireworks against your skin, hot molten lava igniting your whole being.

your moaning becomes uncontrollable as satoru’s fucking you in an animalistic pace – he keeps splitting you open, the spread of legs is slowly growing uncomfortable.

“look how good you’re taking me, being such a good girl for me,” he’s babbling, edging himself too – he wants to feel you spasming around his cock, he cannot let himself cum before that. “gonna feel so good cumming inside, pretty. give you a cute little brother or sister, huh? what do you think? i bet you’ll look so gorgeous being pregnant with my baby.”

“no, daddy, you can’t do that…”

“hm, why? just imagine, you walking around, with my child inside your belly, all cute and swollen for me, tits full of milk. wouldn’t you want that?”

you hiccup a sob as gojo keeps dragging his heavy cock in and out of you, the vein you saw before pressing against your walls deliciously, and you feel your toes start to curl as your body chases after the second orgasm. you dig your nails into his biceps, certain to leave half moon marks on his porcelain skin, and bite your lip. in turn, he is pressing his fingers against the plum skin of your hips, marking you with bruises to remind you of this tomorrow.

“shit, i haven’t fucked your cunny for that long yet it’s already perfectly snuggled around me. i’m training it fast, huh? i’m gonna teach it to fit only me,” you can hear the grin in his voice as he says that.

gojo feels your walls tighten around him – he can see you’re teetering on the edge of climax, whining and moaning under the man, letting him completely use you – so he picks up the speed, assaulting your abused pussy. it doesn’t take longer than that for the tension in your tummy to snap, and you’re wantonly crying out satoru’s name.

“fuck, dollface, you’re squeezing me so perfectly right now. want to milk me for all i’ve got?”

you’re cock drunk, unable to respond to him, hoping your mewling will be enough for the man to see he fucked you stupid. he is not showing signs of slowing down – you can only continue whining as satoru chases after his own pleasure. he pistons his hips couple of times more, and you can feel him throbbing inside as he shoots creamy ropes of cum inside you, painting your womb white. the ring of mixed fluids at the bottom of his cock drives him insane, and he continues fucking his cum into you.

“shit baby, can’t waste a single drop now, can we.”

you’re letting out a quiet sob, pleasure too overwhelming and almost feverish, still unable to find your voice. when he deems it satisfactory that his seed is all warm inside you, gojo finally pulls out and kisses the top of your head.

“i’d say this was a good practice run, what do you say? your mom only comes back in a week, i’ll make you my personal cumdump until then.”

you snap your head up at his words, the smile playing on your step-dad’s face borderline sinister. you think it’s supposed to make you scared, then why is your pussy already twitching around nothing?

“yes daddy, anything for you.”

[lilacxquartz]

Those Late Summer Nights I Chapter 10

Satoru Gojo × Fem!Reader × Suguru Geto

This is a dark/yandere fic that features upsetting themes and it is canon divergent. Updated every Wednesday.

ABOUT: You moved to Tokyo over the summer to take a teaching job. As you get settled in, you find yourself entangled in a toxic dynamic.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: You were starting to feel a little overwhelmed with how much attention you had to divide between so many people and then in the midst of it all, something went terribly wrong.

TRIGGER WARNING: Extremely dubious consent/sexual content/coercion/foreplay

< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >

10. Just “Friends”

Back home at last, you chose to lay in bed until around four in the afternoon as you muddied your own mind with conflicting thoughts—trying to, hoping—to make sense of everything that had happened so far.

You weren’t quite looking forward to socialising with someone new, but you figured that if they were Shoko approved, then it was likely absolutely fine, so come the correct hour, you unstuck yourself from bed and entered a better state of mind.

Shoko introduced you to an equally nervous looking woman around her age standing right behind her. She was quite pretty, you thought as you looked at her; long dark hair and a scar over her face, kind eyes overlooking her features.

“This is Utahime,” Shoko said as she introduced you to her, “and Utahime, this is [name].”

You both awkwardly said that it’s nice to meet each other as you got settled on the sofa, Utahime brought out a couple of beers from a plastic bag as Shoko opted for a glass of wine instead.

“Any preference?” Utahime asked you, trying to be polite.

“Beer would be nice,” you accepted, not quite feeling the mood for heavier alcohol so soon.

She nodded accordingly in response as she cracked open two cans, seeming quite happy to share.

The conversation for the most part was carried initially by Shoko as you both carefully crossed the barrier in getting to know each other while you resisted the urge to spill too much of your trauma too soon, avoiding a repeat of the last time you spoke to new people.

When full comfort had been achieved, a mutual annoyance for Satoru emerged after a while of talking. Nothing too accusatory, but Utahime’s history with him seemed to paint him as a leading cause of her own stress while Shoko joked that he caused her smoking habit.

You didn’t really have a strong opinion on him just yet, but it was interesting to get to know him through the opinion of others. You wondered it with even Suguru before, thinking about the side he allowed you to get to know—thinking if Satoru was doing something similar to you.

Utahime and Shoko clinked their glasses and cans alike, announcing cheers for a peaceful evening and new company, because Shoko was right—you both did get along.

This newly formed comfort however was relatively short lived as soon as Satoru entered through the door, the celebration seeming to have been some type of summoning ritual for him instead.

“Hang on a sec,” Shoko said as she suddenly sat up, “how’d you get a key?”

She didn’t like that Satoru could just enter her apartment, choosing to come and go as he pleased. Her home was a sacred sanctuary for her own approved company and if he wanted to visit, he’d have to ask the same way as everyone else.

Utahime stared in mild disbelief, now wondering if she had managed to somehow hex herself as she stared bitterly off into her drink.

“Aww, don’t act that way~” Satoru purred as he continued to stroll inside, his hand arrogantly extending to reach out for someone to take hold of it, “we just need an extra person to get our usual table, otherwise they’ll just sit us at the smaller, worse table again.”

“Tough shit. I’m not abandoning Utahime to go be a table filler,” Shoko replied as she rolled her eyes, her hand playfully slapping his own away from her sight.

“I’m not going either,” Utahime replied.

“I-I can go otherwise?” you offered, presenting yourself as a sacrifice. You didn’t actually mind as it felt awkward enough already to third wheel between Shoko and her friend, since you could give them both a chance to catch up as you reconnected with the two people you already were familiar with.

“Don’t stoop to their level,” Shoko said, catching onto your wrist as you stood up, “let them suffer.”

“Ah, but she offered~” Satoru sang, tugging you away to the front door.

“I-It was nice to meet you, Utahime!” you called out as you quickly found yourself dragged outside into the stairwell, barely having time to grab onto your bag and shoes.

Suguru stood outside as he waited, his back leaning against the wall with a knee bent to balance himself.

Satoru walked down first as you followed, Suguru closing in from behind as he watched you go downstairs. In truth, this was his plan all along because he knew that Shoko would be occupied with Utahime and when Satoru showed up at his own place wanting to hang out, he knew that his friend was still burdened with clan responsibilities so he could still end his night with you—if he could help it.

He still felt some conflicting feelings about you getting closer to Satoru, which was exactly why he chose to hang out with him tonight in tow, wanting to keep tabs as to what you were up to at all times to make sure that nothing else blossomed beyond that kiss.

He did seem to understand though, that you didn’t think that the kiss itself was genuine so in his mind, what he was doing was closer to prevention; ensuring that Satoru didn’t try to talk you into doing anything else.

(While Suguru himself talked you into other things.)

You continued to walk in between the two of them to the bar, fully unaware at what festered away in the back of their minds. Suguru’s hand brushed on and off around your hips, guiding you a certain direction as you passed through thicker crowds. Satoru on the other hand occasionally would pull the two of you in as he walked and talked, sensing that you didn’t pull back as much anymore.

In reality, you were slightly buzzed from the maybe two cans of beer you had. They were tall cans and you didn’t quite care to push either of them away, leading them both to have the same type of curiosity invade their minds; could they go even further?

You settled off into the booth you got to know them both at on the night it had all began, sitting opposite with an empty spot beside you instead. Suguru ordered a bottle of sake for a change, pouring the three of you a glass each.

The topics of discussion were trivial for now, at least the ones that you could keep up with anyway. Things like your opinions on Utahime and the discussion of what Satoru was up to for the most part of the day occupied the conversation.

Then at some point during it all, Satoru got a phone call that he couldn’t avoid, zoning off into the distance as he talked himself through it.

“Just my luck,” Satoru sighed as he ended the call, “I’ll be seeing you both tomorrow.”

His tone sounded a little resigned but he tried to smile through the annoyance he harboured, refusing to sour the mood. He didn’t want to be constantly away, especially not during what was supposed to be his time off—but he wasn’t in a position to refuse his responsibilities either.

“Think they’ll bother you this much when work starts up again?” Suguru asked him.

“Probably not, no,” Satoru replied, “I’m probably being pestered so much because they know I have time to spare.”

“Must be difficult being so important,” Suguru teased him.

“You know me, the strongest and the most important,” he continued to joke even if his demeanour did continue to dampen.

When he left, the staff asked you both to downsize to a smaller table anyway to make room for the other customers as the establishment quickly filled out with more and more customers. Suguru didn’t really mind this development as he continued to top you up more, slowly drinking his own glass as you continued to finish off one glass after another, finding yourself a little bit too tipsy to think properly.

It was then that he moved just a little bit closer, playing the current situation into his hands with successful ease this time.

“You know, my place isn’t too far from here,” he spoke deliberately, allowing dangerous words playing off of his tongue in a tempting melody, “Shoko’s probably still busy with Utahime, probably best not to disturb ‘em,” he leaned a little forward as he spoke, “feel like relaxing at mine for a bit?”

You hesitated initially, wondering if by accepting that you were accepting something that you shouldn’t be. You didn’t want to lead him any more than you already had, either.

“I have my own room at Shoko’s you know, I can just wait it out there,” you replied, trying to establish a boundary right away.

“Yeah but, you wouldn’t want to impose right? Besides, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, [name],” he continued to say, coaxing you into his reach, “it would be just for a little while, we’d both sober up and I’ll even walk you back.”

“I mean…” you continued on as you started to slightly panic, your gut instinct telling you to pull away.

“I do this all the time with Shoko and Satoru,” Suguru continued to lie, knowing fully well that he doesn’t really allow anyone into his home, “I just think you need to relax a bit, that’s all.”

“B-but, doesn’t it seem weird if I go back with you while I’m this drunk?” you asked.

“Why would it be weird?” he asked, his voice hushed, as if he didn’t want to be heard by others.

“B-because, like, I don’t know-“

Suguru interrupted you as you spoke, trying his best to remain patient while he had you all alone, “I’ll take care of you, don’t worry. We don’t do anything bad, we’ll just watch a movie or something to wait it out.”

“B-but-“

“Don’t you trust me?” he asked you, seeming a little colder.

“I-I mean, I guess I do…” you considered it again, foolishly trusting him to not do anything just because he said that he wouldn’t, the alcohol clouding your judgement.

“Just to unwind, yeah?” he repeated himself, luring you in. “It’s not like I’m asking you to spend the night, right?”

“R-Right.”

Still, some type of danger lurked. You were agreeable right now, drunk and easily swayed. Some type of looming threat filled his all too promising tone, seeming almost deceitful.

Your own gut instinct was telling you to reject him a second time, a third time if you really had to do so—but you didn’t do a single thing.

Instead, in the peak of your inebriated judgement you chose to trust him because he was your friend and because he promised you something so simple and yet so major.

He wouldn’t hurt you.

At least not like that.

(Would he?)

***

The walk back with Suguru felt strangely quiet but it was relatively a short journey just as he had promised you. He kept your body steady as he walked you back to his home, keeping you from tripping over your own feet.

To some extent, he wondered if he should actually be taking it this far with you given that you couldn’t even walk straight—but he wouldn’t be forceful, he’d only go as far as you’d let him.

His place was probably the most central out of all of the places you had been so far, not counting Satoru’s place as you hadn’t yet been there.

Suguru continued to carefully handle you as he sat you down on his bed, his movements feeling all a little too personal and calculated. His hand drifted back to your thighs to test the waters of your own lacking sobriety as his other hand swooped in to meet around your waist.

“So, [name], I’m sorry but I gotta ask you something,” he spoke up after a short moment of silence, doing his best to continue to keep his tone as kind as possible, not wanting to scare you in any way, shape or form.

“Huh?” you replied, suddenly catching onto the idea that he might have wanted something from you, only just now registering that his hands were on you, too.

You were still trying to keep as soberly passing as you could be, but the strange mood and the new environment felt disorienting, even if you had already been in here before.

“You haven’t been with anyone, right?” he asked you as his eyes locked onto yours, the question he asked you seemed important to him for some reason. “You’ve not slept with anyone?”

Usually, he didn’t even care about this sort of thing—but something about you being being one was making him go crazy, in an almost possessive kind of way.

It felt wrong for him to admit it, but he felt entitled to you—not just for a quick fuck either, but something permanent.

He wanted you.

“Yes, but don’t laugh-“

“—I’m not asking to make fun of you.”

“Then why?”

He sighed as he looked back at you, wondering if it was best to just let you fall asleep or to take you back to your apartment and forget that this conversation almost ever happened.

But something told him to hold onto you, wanting to see just how far it could all go.

“I have a dilemma with you, that’s all it is,” he admitted, scooting a little towards you so that he sat closer. It was difficult for him to get the right words out as he had to find a reasonable way to explain that he didn’t want others to get close to you, to make you understand exactly what type of madness was going rampant through his head.

It was difficult to form something coherent that didn’t sound like he wanted to use you, because that wasn’t his intention at all.

“A dilemma?” you asked, your words slurring against your tongue.

“Don’t get with anyone else,” he asked you, the hold he had on your thigh seeming to tighten as he talked, his other hand pulling you closer as he dared tempt something he might regret, “it makes me unwell just thinking about it, I don’t even know why.”

Your words initially got caught in your throat as you failed to produce a response—even currently drunk, you understood what he was trying to imply.

And yet, not a single word could come out.

“Don’t hate me for saying it, but,” he sighed again, not letting you move let alone get away, “I want for you to allow me to…”

“No,” you finally choked out, not letting him finish off his sentence that he barely got to begin with. You understood what he wanted to ask you and you weren’t ready, even when this drunk, you knew that much.

Suguru stared at you as he took that rejection somehow in continued stride, fully well having anticipated that exact answer. He never once expected you to directly accept his offer, knowing that it would be insane for you to do so.

Instead, his plan was to actually ease you into it; to build up a gradual acceptance on your side, to get you close to him before anyone else could.

Dating was too slow—he wanted to get to you sooner, before you could catch onto what’s going on, before you could simply just leave.

It was wrong for him to do so, he knew it, but his own desire was overwhelming his sense of reason and he had to do it, or else he’d actually do something he regretted.

So to him, this was a more diluted path.

“Look, I’m the only one who really gets you, right? I’m the only one who can look out for you properly,” he continued to say, “and I’m the only one who would stick around with you after, [name], because let me make one thing abundantly clear—this world is cruel.”

You continued to zone out as he spewed out words he thought you were genuinely considering when the reality was that you were trying to keep yourself from passing out in his company.

You knew exactly where he was going with this, you weren’t that unaware and oblivious, his intentions were apparent from the very moment he put his hands on you in the car but you weren’t still entirely sure how he went from ignoring your texts from days on end, to wanting to get in bed with you.

Something must have happened last night, otherwise why else did he know to ask you certain things?

“I’m just saying, [name],” he said as he pinched your chin, making you face him directly, “Satoru got a taste, but he didn’t appreciate you, did he?”

“I-I mean n-no, but-“

“—did he make you feel anything?”

“He never meant to.”

“But don’t you want to feel something, anyway?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Because, I want you to feel things.”

He didn’t give you a whole lot to work with, nor any time to think for yourself as this conversation continued back and forth. His body continued to otherwise slowly towards you the same way, regardless of what you said, his lips seeking yours out as you moved back in retaliated discomfort.

Suguru continued to play the part of someone who appeared reasonable, nodding and pulling back to respect your decision. He was going to get to you either way, so your rejection didn’t hurt him because as long as he got with you before Satoru did, then he will have won.

He reconsidered his options as an almost unhinged expression manifested on his face, tightening his hold on your body as he surrendered to a flow of worrying ideas.

You internally panicked as this all unfolded, doing your best to perhaps foolishly hold onto his friendship while also pushing back on his advances, entering a point in your own psyche where you had no idea what you truly wanted either.

Certain words stuck, like Satoru stealing your first kiss and the fact that you felt nothing from it. Shoko got the title of your first real friend and Suguru sported the title of your first date, even if it was platonic. To circle back to Satoru, he had the honour of being the first guy you introduced to your parents; so no wonder it all seemed so confusing if he even liked you at all.

Your friends were out here taking away all of your firsts that were meant to be special moments shared with someone you could trust, instead being snatched away by this strange new group of people at every whim.

The lack of it all being genuine except for the friendship was starting to eat away at you, realising that such rapid progression was beginning to hurt you in a way you didn’t truly understand.

But… you were still left unsure.

Was he making such a big deal out of this because he actually cared—or did he simply want to play you, to get into your pants?

As you continued to hold off on his advances, he finally let you go of you to find your own way, intending to just vent to you instead. You’d listen to him whether you wanted to or not, so he took advantage of that opportunity as it happened.

“I’m just feeling some kind of way, [name],” he said, surrendering a chunk of his feelings.

He continued to stare at you, feeling a little guilty as he continued to do so—this damn feeling just wasn’t going away.

“I think I like you and I don’t want to share, that’s all.”

“I-I can kind of get it, I think,” you finally said after a while, giving him an opening of sorts if only by complete accident, “but,” you were to still quick to stifle, “I don’t want to do anything I might regret and that includes with you, too.”

He nodded as you spoke, completely understanding the exact sort of direction to take with you now much to your unassuming dismay; you were simply shy in his eyes, inexperienced and not quite used to this sort of thing and he could work with that—to make you his before anyone else could even have such a chance.

He wanted to stick around, to give into those strange and confusing feelings that have otherwise been eating him alive for the last couple of weeks.

“So, how about we start off slow?” Suguru suggested, moving into closing off the gap with you once again, “I don’t want you to regret a single thing with me.”

“I-I still don’t really know-“ you considered, not quite saying no directly. He wasn’t backing off even if he did drop the subject concerning your virginity, being pushy in a whole other sort of way.

“Don’t you like me too?” Sugur asked you, trying to find something that might not have been there.

“I-I do, but you know, as a frie-“

He cut you off again, not letting you finish that sentence, “Don’t say it. We’ve got something going on that’s better than just being friends.”

“W-we do?” you slurred a little.

“Can’t you feel it too?” he asked, leaning closer again.

“I mean, I don’t know, this is all too sudden for me and I don’t even know you that well,” you admitted, trying not to give into the pressure, you didn’t want to be something temporary or casual to someone you were trying to just be friends with.

“Then get to know me,” he whispered, “nobody else will appreciate you like I do.”

By then, you felt the booze hit your body a bit harder too now that it has had time to simmer; suddenly you couldn’t quite sit still, let alone agree or disagree.

He leaned into your lips without any protest on your end, despite your lacking consent to continue onwards; the smell of stale cigarettes exhaled into your mouth as he finally connected this kiss. His tongue pushing itself into your mouth, wrestling it with your own—your own muscle reluctantly following suit, despite not really knowing exactly what to do.

Your vision blurred as you barely kept up; you never did express consent nor give him the green light to continue, but every time you considered speaking up, your words would either slur or they never made it out of your mouth to begin with.

“Relax, you can keep your mouth still if it’s easier for you,” he said as he pulled back, his dark eyes intently focusing on you, “I’ll lead the way.”

Once again, he didn’t give you an opportunity to reply as he quickly resumed his pursuit of you; his mouth reconnecting with yours as his breath so hot and heavy rippled waves down your chin—his tongue flickering against the tip of your own as it fought back involuntarily, trying to move it away.

You felt as his hand then crept towards your own, grabbing onto the back of it as he slowly guided you into his trousers; straight past the waistband and slipping into an even deeper layer so that you could feel his, his—oh—were you feeling his—?

You froze as you now had a burning compulsion to pull away but your head pushed up against his face as his free hand held your skull in place—fingers weaving between interlocked strands of your hair, bringing you forward and tugging at your lips with his teeth, keeping you tethered to him.

Using the hand that held your own hostage, he moved you in so that your hand filled out with the length of his meat; your fingers wrapping around it as he then moved your hand up and down in a particular motion, encouraging you to keep up.

Maybe this was more than just taking it slow—but fuck, he was so turned on.

“Can you keep that going for me?” he asked, his voice sounding dangerously playful as he clearly was enjoying this moment.

You couldn’t vocally protest in the meantime nor shake or nod as he kept you subdued in a specific sort of state, so you kept it up either way because you were too overwhelmed to break away.

Not that he would allow for you to do so either way.

This was too good for him—he felt too good, so fucking good and he hadn’t even gone all the way yet. He wouldn’t yet. He knew now that he should savour this, to build it up.

He pulled further back from the kiss as your saliva trailed over your chin, webbing between his own—curious to see exactly how you were doing, realising that you might be struggling to keep up as someone with virtually zero experience with this sort of thing, while also wanting to get you used to this sort of state.

You continued to get into it and kept up to his requested pace along his shaft as he finally moved the hand that otherwise kept you glued to him to slip in between your legs, finally getting just a little further. He moved in smoothly, his hands brushing up the skirt and pushing past your underwear—his fingertips finally exploring the slick wetness you kept so well hidden.

To his amusement, he could see just how turned you actually were based on how soaked you were as well as the blush that formed on your face, even if your expression was a little unreadable.

In reality, you were equal parts confused and rosy red from the liquor settling in your system, keeping up but just barely.

You knew that this was wrong, that he never even asked you if this was okay to do, but you’ve also been so confused in this past couple of weeks.

You didn’t know what you were feeling.

“You’re doing so well, [name],” Suguru continued to purr into your ear, “wanna let me help you feel good too?”

“U-um,” you managed to reply, although still not using proper words.

“Trust me, I just want you to enjoy yourself,” he tried to reassure.

There it was; that confusing feeling again. You felt cornered as you considered accepting his quickly approaching advances, even given the position you were locked into. His hand rested near you, delicately parting you using his fingers—his touch was pleasant and warm and he wasn’t hurting you at all, but it still felt so terribly fucking wrong.

So, when he continued to once again move in despite not getting a verbal confirmation, he wrongfully read into your lacking say in the matter as a green light, thinking that because you weren’t screaming no or for him to stop despite your body language gesturing at something different was simply because you were shy.

Oh no, he didn’t even think to consider that you were simply too drunk to comprehend a single thing to begin with.

His fingers continued to slide into your heat, pushing over the opening and searching for something else in particular; your clit from what it felt like, focusing his efforts on there as his fingertips started to trace circles right around it.

Suguru enjoyed watching your reactions, his dark eyes finding light in your expressions and reactions—your own thighs quivering from his touch, trembling as you approached your limit.

He of course wanted to push you even further, wanting nothing more than to see you be needy and to moan his name; to beg him to let him fuck you, but he couldn’t be too greedy, at least not yet.

He’d slowly break you in, convinced that there was something about the chemistry that you both shared; feeling certain that there was absolutely something there, even if you couldn’t quite see it just yet.

So as he continued to gently swirl around your budded flesh and as your breathing quickly grew shallow; cheeks bruising cherry red, your insides coiling from his pressing touch—he too, got sent over the edge just from the sight of you alone.

At the same time though, that invading thought relented, daring him to go just a little further despite you not being ready; wanting nothing more than to taste your neck, to nip on your skin and petal behind lovebites, to push himself deep inside of you and feel just how soaked you were—but, but… he had to refrain, to hold himself back, at least for now, remembering that he didn’t want for you to regret him, so he finally pulled back from you.

His breath shuddered as you finished up on him, his face tightening as he clenched his jaw, eyelids fluttering as he started to finish, remembering to complete the same for you.

You squeezed your legs tight as you enveloped his hand, a rising need to finally seek out release; his circling motions finally coaxing out rolling pleasure as waves of warmth coursed through your body, a reaction that caused you to almost whimper breathlessly.

He pulled you closer as you finished, practically leaning into a hug against your body; his face rubbing against your own as he feverishly kissed you, his hand guiding yours as he finally got closer and closer to—but not yet, closer—to—

“Go a bit faster he breathed into your mouth, demanding release, “be a good girl for me—please, fuck.”

You listened to him as you accelerated the tempo against his dick; feeling a little more at ease from his continued flow of praise and encouragement until you felt his cock twitch, his breath hitch and finally empty himself at the mercy of your hand. Hot white ropes shooting without aim, causing a mess for you both.

He breathed in deep to recollect himself, still leaning against you before finally peeling himself away from you, allowing you to take back your hand and to find your ground again.

Guilt however then started to surface as he saw just how drunk you still were, leading him to finally seek out his own senses as he paused in his own tracks, leading you carefully to the bathroom before getting you cleaned up before returning back into bed with him.

There wasn’t a single chance in hell that you were going back home, even if he were to walk you all the way back and tucked you into bed himself.

He didn’t want a single person to be near you currently, not even Shoko and he trusted her.

So as you fell asleep beside him, your side occupying the usually vacant space against his chest, he felt a new sort of emotion plant itself and bloom, knowing that you were both in trouble if he continued to keep this up, just like that realisation many weeks ago.

Knowing fully well that he still wasn’t going to stop.

Not at all.

[leennaan]

Leah Williamson/ Coming Home

You were nervous. After working for the royal navy for now almost nine years you decided that you missed enough of important events in your wife’s and your family’s life. When you were first recruited at the age of 18 it was the best thing that could happen for you. You always wanted to step into your grandpas footsteps and you did.

You quickly climbed the ranks until you became captain just after you turned 23.

Your wife was esthetic when you told her.

You knew Leah since you both were just five years old.

You became best friends until she asked you to be her girlfriend on your 15th Birthday.

It was one of the happiest moments in your life.

After you asked her to marry you in the summer of 2016 you got married in a small setting after her season in 2017 both of you being just 20 but you were never more sure of something.

No one even knew you were together not even her teammates and you liked the secrecy it gave you a bit of a rush.

When you were told in 2020 you would be stationed in America for some years you knew it would be hard but you both managed the distance. One of the hardest things was not being able to be there with her when she captained England to the Euros win. But you were unbelievable proud of her.

When she raptured her ACL and you couldn’t be there for her it broke you.

So when you were told that you would have to stay over sea even longer you knew you couldn’t be apart from her anymore so you asked to be discharged.

That is what let you to this day.

Standing in a sold out emirates stadium at the semi finals of the champions league 2023/24.

You talked with Jonas and asked him to help you surprise Leah.

The players knew that a former navy captain would be honored but that was about all the information the players had.

After the players walked on the pitch, Leah captaining Arsenal and after the champions league hymn was played it was time.

You heard the Stadion speaker announce you so you walked out of the tunnel still in your uniform.

“And now before we start with the match we would like to honor former Royal Navy Captain Y/N Williamson for her service.”

Your eyes were only focused on Leah. She gasped as your name was announced and sunk to her knees as soon as she saw you walking out of the tunnel. You could see that a few tears had already escaped her eyes and you felt some of your own tears roll down you cheeks. Her teammates looking confused between you and her captain as you walked towards her.

Suddenly Leah jumped up and started running at full speed towards you, jumping in your arms once she reached you. You caught her and held her close, crying into her neck.

“ I can’t believe you’re here. I missed you so much! Please tell me that you’re here to stay.” She whispered into your ear. Still clinging to your body.

“I am here baby. I am home. I here to stay. I am not leaving you again.”

After you both had calmed down a bit you let her down, still holding her close.

And it you didn’t care that you were standing in the middle of a sold out emirates, four years without holding your love, without being able to hold her were just to long. So you captured her lips with your own.

The kiss was everything and more. You felt her shiver and smile into the kiss.

After what felt like a lifetime but wasn’t nearly long enough you pulled away. Breathing hard and looking at a smiling face.

“I can’t wait until after the match but now you have to what you do best. Win this match. I am so proud of you!” You said and she nodded, kissed you one last time before she went back to her team.

Once the game started you went to Leah’s family and did what you wished you could have done for the last four years supporting your wife at one of her most important matches of her career.

Arsenal won the game 3:1 and qualified for the champions league final.

This evening you didn’t move from Leah’s side. Together you told her teammates about how you got together and everything between. Just holding your girl in your arms.

Nothing could top this feeling.

You knew you did the right thing. Never before had you seen Leah so happy, not even after the Euros win.

Coming home was the best decision you ever made.

“I love you Leah Williamson.” You said to her when you were dancing together at the winning party.

“I love you to Y/N Williamson. Always.”

[epicrainbowsheep]

You're such a dork

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

*Warning blowjob with cum that isn't amazingly taste, especially when said man does weed and other illegal stuff*

Eddie finally graduates and is at the mall with the hellfire club and see's you across the food court. Reader has graduated from University and has come back to Hawkins for good. Running into each other you decide to catch up at his trailer...

Enjoy 😘

It's summer in Hawkins and school has finished for the year, the mall was filled with prepubescent teenagers and seniors who have recently graduated celebrating finally being out of the hell that is high school. One group was more rambunctious than most, Eddie and his hellfire crew were celebrating him finally finishing school, over burgers in the food court.

“Well done Eddie” Gareth yelled and slapped him on the back, Eddie nearly spitting out his drink. “I’m proud of myself, just needed to do the bare minimum of attendance and BAM!” He suddenly stands up holding up his drink like hero, “Nearly instant diploma” Dustin slaps his leg “Took three goes”, all of them laughed and continued talking about their summer plans with finishing school for the year.

Eddie’s eyes caught a familiar face as he bit into his burger, it was (Y/N) he hadn’t seen her since she graduated, in his first senior year. Eddie grinned like the Cheshire Cat, remembering what they used to get up to after school, starting the hellfire group together, “Boys I’ll be back in a minute” he says as he stands up and jogs up to you, who’s looking confused.

————————————————————————

“Okay now Uncle Bruce told me to get-“ 

“(Y/N)!”

You whipped your head up and saw Eddie running towards you, panting as soon as he got to you. “Long time no see sweetheart” looking at you as you turned around, you’d changed a lot since he last saw you. Hair is (longer/shorter) and your skin looks absolutely radiant, your body filling out more and your fashion sense definitely changed. 

“Eddie! It’s so good to see you” you smiled, your confusion fading as soon as you saw his face, his hair was longer but not much had changed about him, still wearing his leather jacket and his battle vest with more patches decorated all over.

“You look absolutely gorgeous (Y/N), I haven’t seen you since you left for collage” his eye’s still had the same sparkle in them since you last saw him, “It’s been a while Eds but I’m back for good now! Graduated with my bachelors, back in Hawkins for good” You scratch the back of your head smiling at Eddie, “What have you been up too?”.

“Pretty much the same, still doing hellfire, playing with my band, graduating high school…” he looked away sheepishly when the look of shock hearing the last of his sentence. “Really Eddie! It took you three years of doing senior year?!” You said gobsmacked, “Third times a charm” he looks away unable to face you directly.

“Well better late then never Eddie” You looked into his face while smiling and put your hand on his shoulder, his smiled back, your smile was always infectious. “Well since you’ve graduated we should-“ 

“EDDIE YOU COMING? MOVIE STARTS SOON” Mike yelled in his direction.

“YEAH EDDIE COME ON!!!” Dustin yelled with him.

“IN A SEC!” Eddie yells back, “(Y/N) I wanna keep talking but the boys are calling” he says turning his attention back to you. “Thats fine Eddie you still at the trailer park? I can stop by with Chinese food, and we can catch up like we used too~” your hinting didn’t escape him.

“Ssounds like a plan babe” Eddie tries to play it cool, but his voice fails him breaking mid sentence. (Y/N) laughs and kissed him on the cheek “See you later”.

Eddie was feeling giddy as you walked off, holding the cheek that you kissed. “Dude who was that?” Lucas said as the boys came up behind him, Eddie didn’t even realise they were there until Gareth spoke.

“That was one of the original co-founders of hellfire (Y/N), she was Eddie’s fuck buddy” Eddie cringed at his wording, “She was more than a fuck buddy” he grumbled the younger boys still trying to get their heads around that she was one of the co-founders.

“Let’s go we’re gonna miss the movie!” Dustin piped up.

———————————————————————————

You turned into the trailer park where Eddie has lived since you can remember, memories of you both walking back drunk through the forrest from parties held at Harrington’s house, or watching Eddie smoke a joint while sharing a bottle of whiskey.

Slamming the car door, making sure to grab the Chinese food that was in the front seat, barely knocking before the door is ripped open with a very excited Eddie standing behind it. He looked like he just had a shower, hair blowdried, fresh cologne, and a totally different outfit to the one he was wearing earlier at the mall.

“Hope your hungry, I picked up Chinese food” you held up the plastic bag as you walked past, placing the bag on the coffee table in front of the TV. “Absolutely starving sweetheart” he said while he plopped himself on the couch, you both got out the food and started eating.

Both chatting, Eddie just shoving food into his mouth, speaking with his mouth full the entire time. You smiled remembering that he still ate the same as he did when you both were still in high school, both geeking over DnD and discussing who was the better band, Kiss or Metallica. 

“So Eddie you seeing anyone?” You said, facing him as you both finish eating. “No haven’t really dated anyone seriously, most of the girls in Hawkins can’t handle all of this” His hands went up and down his body as he spoke.

“True, the girls here have basically no taste” you shuffled closer to Eddie on the couch with your hand slowly going up and down on his thigh, “A-are you seeing anyone?” He managed to get out, not expecting things to turn this fast.

“No, the boys at collage don’t match up to the man I’ve had waiting for me back in Hawkins” you purred into his ear, “I’ve missed you Eddie” your hand hovered over his growing bulge.

“Let me make it up to you~” licking the shell of his ear, shuddering as your hand squeezed his cock through his jeans. “Yesss babe, you’ve got a lot of time to make up for” him saying that you unzip his pants, shoving them down to his ankles, moving from the couch to kneel between his knees.

“Well then, I better get to work” You give his dick a few pumps, licking from the base of his cock to the tip, making sure it was wet enough to slide into your mouth.

“Fuck baby” Eddie cries out as your mouth swallows his dick, you hollow out out mouth to suck even harder as you reach the base of his cock, holding it there, deep throating him, making sure to worshipping his 6 inch cock. His mind goes blank with pleasure as you continue to suck his cock, twirling your tongue around his shaft.

“Shit sweetheart just like that” he whines out as you pick up the pace, your neck starting to strain since it’d had been awhile since you’d given head. “Y-you know just how I like it-t, deep and fast” he babbled, “You’re such a dirty wench, like an npc bar maid” you couldn’t help but think while sucking his cock ‘He’s such a dork’.

Your hand goes down to cup his balls, knowing that would bring him over the edge, “Shit baby I’m gonna cum” his hand gripped your hair, now being able to feel your head bobbing up and down on his cock. You pull on his balls he screeches “FUCCKKK (Y/N) BAABBYYYYYY” he grips your head tighter, keeping your head there as his cum fills your mouth.

Unable to move your head, Eddie’s cum bursts into your mouth, the horrible tasting thick cum forcing its way down your throat, choking on the foulness of his cum you pull off and rush to the bathroom, gagging the whole way just making it in time to the toilet to hurl up the Chinese food you just ate.

Eddie was in such bliss he didn’t realise you’d run off straight away, when he came down from cloud nine he heard you gagging in the bathroom. Realising what was happening he rushed to stand up, forgetting his pants were still around his ankles he fell flat on his face.

“Fuck” He groaned out rolling on his back while rubbing his nose, scrambling to his feet, kicking his pants and boxes off in the process. Stumbling his way he slammed into the door frame of the bathroom, looking down at you, wiping your mouth with toilet paper. 

“Eddie your cum tastes foul, it never was that bad!” You looked at him as you stood, “Sorry (Y/N) I had no idea it was that horrible, are you okay?” He walked to the cupboard and handed you mouthwash, you thanked him and gargled till you got the taste out of your mouth. 

“I’ll survive” you chuckled, “I don’t even know why it tastes that bad” Eddie walked you over to the couch where you both sat down. “It’s cause you do drugs Eddie, it makes your cum taste horrible, it was tolerable when we were in our seniors since it was just weed” you laughed cuddling into him.

“Shit I didn’t know that, it’s in the brain bank now, saved for future endeavours” He slid his arm around you, pulling your body even closer. “Especially since you’re here for good now” His hand lifted your chin, his lips inches from yours, you moving the last few inches until your lips met in a sweet kiss.

“Now baby let’s get back to watching that movie” He grabbed the remote and pressed play as you both snuggled in closer, starting off where you guys left off when you left for collage.

“Eddie?”

“Yes babe?”

“You’re suck a dork”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for assuming my friend was single? (TW: small mention of suicidal ideation)

I (21FTM) have known Jake (22M) since we were in middle school. We became close friends early on during high school, and have had a good relationship ever since. When he and his long-term girlfriend broke up during our junior year, I was the person he turned to the most. The break-up was bad. Like, really bad. Bad to the point where I sometimes worry that he wouldn’t be here today if he hadn’t reached out to me. (Not in the sense that he was unhealthily dependent on me, or that I felt responsible for his mental health. He got a therapist and responsibly handled all that with her, but only at my insistence, and I fear that’s a step he never would’ve taken if I didn’t insist.) By senior year, he and became FWB. We weren’t worried about it messing with our friendship—he’s heteroromantic, i’m aro—and it continued for about a year until the both of us left for college. We’ve stayed friends and our relationship has remained close. We talk so often that it rarely feels like anything’s changed at all.

December of last year, he excitedly told me that he got a girlfriend again in Emily (21?F). I was ecstatic, of course. He’d struggled a lot with the idea of a romantic relationship after his last girlfriend, and I was happy he felt comfortable enough to open up again. As I said, his previous relationship really fucked him up. Anyways, because of the distance, I never got to actually talk to Emily much outside of when she was at his place during our video calls. She was super nice from the few times we did interact, and from the way he described her when she wasn’t around, you’d think she was a literal angel. Him gushing about her lasted up until early May. Suddenly, he didn’t mention her at all. It was like she never existed. I didn’t see her once at his place, and the few times I tried to ask about her, he instantly shut me down. He was more down than usual, not to the point of worry like I’d previously seen him, but to the point were it was notable. I asked him a few times if he was alright, and reminded him that I was there whenever he needed me, but he just said that he was going through something rough and that he’d be okay, but didn’t really want to talk about it. I didn’t want to push, and from the way he reacted whenever i brought up Emily’s name, and from his previous experience, I assumed she and him had broken up. I had no way to contact her to check, and even if I did, that’d feel like overstepping, considering I never talked to her when he wasn’t around. It was obviously a sensitive subject and stressing him out, so I followed his lead and just didn’t mention her at all. Their relationship wasn’t my business, after all, and if he didn’t want to tell me what happened, that was his right.

School got out for the summer, and shortly after both of us returned home, he asked if I wanted to rekindle our FWB relationship for the summer. It wasn’t like it was the first thing out of his mouth, and he seemed to be doing a lot better seeing him in person, so I agreed. That was in the beginning of June. Cut to two days ago, nearly two months later. Jake left for a family vacation a week prior, and will only be returning at the end of the month. Meanwhile, I meet up with one of our mutual friends who I haven’t been able to see until now due to our conflicting schedules. While talking, she makes some joke about Jake and Emily having “trouble in paradise.” My heart stops as I ask her what she means. Didn’t they break up months ago? She tells me no, they’ve been having relationship issues for a while, but they’re still very much together. She shows me a picture from Emily’s instagram (I don’t use instagram, for reference) that Emily had posted just a few hours ago of her and Jake kissing on the beach. What Jake conveniently forgot to tell me about his “family vacation” is that his girlfriend had *also* been invited.

I instantly tried messaging him that we need to talk, but either he isn’t checking his phone (unlikely) or he knows I know and is purposefully ignoring me. Logically, I know that he’s the bigger asshole in this situation. But I can’t help but feel slightly at fault. I feel like I should’ve questioned him more, or found some way to reach out to her, or even asked any of our other mutual friends about it, because obviously at least one (maybe even some) of them knew, and all of his could’ve been avoided. I also don’t know what to do regarding Emily. I have her instagram now, curtesy of my friend, but I’m afraid to message her. Not necessarily afraid to break the news, I’m already constructing a message to send to her (which I will be doing), but more afraid that she won’t believe me. I’ll have to make an account, and I’m afraid her being messaged by a blank account created only hours ago from a guy she talked to a few dozen times, max, may be sketchy. I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t believe me (I have a few messages from him, but no photos, and those screenshots could be easily faked), because there’s no other way for me to contact her. If she blocks me or ignores the message because of how sketchy it sounds, there’s nothing else I can do.

TLDR: I assumed my friend had broken up with his girlfriend due to him acting weird when I brought her up, became FWB, only to find out he was using me to cheat on her. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ciaoteamo]

Curiosity killed the cat

pairings: james sullivan x reader

summary: You always get woken up by Sully at midnight when he comes out of your closet. But this time, you made sure to stay up, you were on a mission.

warnings: 18+ content, prob grammar errors

further warning: monster!sex, growling, marking, breeding, size difference, crying, sneaky sex, overstim

⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦

3 Days. You had only 3 more days until summer was over and you start your third year in college.

Your major is chemistry. Science was something you found a little simpler than most subjects. You didn’t think it was that cool, but Sully? He loved it.

He enjoyed you telling him about what you learned for the week, sometimes asking you to do kiddy experiments too.

He was so adorable in that way, you always wondered if they all were like that on his side of the world. Is it something completely unreal? Or was it the same?

You always asked him to take you but he told you about how dangerous and fearful the monsters were. He actually told you about some little girl he used to see named Boo.

You could tell she was like a daughter to him. That’s actually how the two of you crossed paths, he climbed in your door one day by accident, looking for her.

You remembered how scared, confused, and interested you were in him. In someways, you still felt those feelings toward him, but recently, you’ve found yourself fantasizing about him.

You were always one to chase after your dreams, this time in a more literal sense. Tomorrow you have to leave and it wouldn’t be for another few months until you’d see him again.

Besides, how often do people get the opportunity to be in this situation? Sleep on a huge soft monster that visits you three times a week, have someone who has the same interests as you, have someone you connected with on a deeper scale.

Anyways, it’s time to get into the now. You check your alarm clock. 11:46. He should be coming soon. You have out his favorite snacks, fresh sheets, dim lighting, slightly revealing silk pjs, and usually you had on a hair wrap, this was a special occasion however, so you took it off and made yourself look pretty.

Your confidence was high, it felt like you were about to ask some younger shy person if it was true that they had a crush on you.

You suddenly hear your closet hangers knock against each other. You intensely stare at the door, losing your confidence as the seconds pass.

“geez, you’ve been shopping too much” James emerges from the doorway with a smirk. It was quickly replaced by an ecstatic expression once he laid eyes on the food.

“you know what, i should take this back then” You joke, pretending to pack up the cuisine.

“no no! i’m sorry” He chuckles, holding your hand in place to stop you. You look down and look up at him, he takes his hand off and awkwardly apologizes.

“how have you been?” You ask, smiling as you watch him devour everything.

“oh real good, guess who got a promotion” He dusts his shoulders.

“congratulations! you deserve it” You say.

“thanks, been working hard enough” He chuckles.

You talk and joke around while you eat the food, joking each other in the process. He tells you stories about his college days, some of it had you laughing so hard that your stomach was hurting.

When he finished you turned up the television, and comfortable silence was initiated after the last bite.

“so, we aren’t going to talk about you leaving soon?” He says flatly.

“well..” You look away.

“come on (N/N), you’re leaving in three days, we have to find something to send you away with!” He semi pouts.

“um…” Your heart was in your ass. You got this (Y/N). If anything goes wrong you can just never come back. You only live once.

“i mean it just doesn’t feel right that i got all this good food when you’re the one going away” He babbles on.

“…we could kiss…” You interrupt him quietly.

“hm?”

Jesus christ. “i said we could kiss..” You look away. You get silence in return and turn back to him, moving yourself closer to the head of the bed to hug yourself.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to… i just-“ Your words were cut off by a gentle kiss on the lips. You’re shocked at first, but you close your eyes and move your lips on rhythm with his soft ones.

The moment was blissful, strangely enough, both of you kept your hands to yourselves. Your tongues tasting everything both of you just ate.

Your breathing starts to get out of hand, resulting in both of you pulling away to regain composure.

“wow” He sighs.

“wow is right, i didn’t expect that” You raise your eyebrows.

“you didn’t expect that? what made you suggest that?” He counters.

“um” Your cheeks tingle as you turn away. “just curious”

“curious?” He echos.

“yeah..”

“curiosity killed the cat you know?” He questions.

“that’s what i’m hoping for” You look back at him.

“huh?” He asks.

“nothing, never mind” You pull your covers over you.

“no, i want to know” He tugs at the comforter.

Should you just tell him a convincing lie? It’s worked before… maybe just tell him to leave? no, you’ll feel bad. Screw it.

“well you know how we… both… like experiments?”

“..yeah”

“i want to do one”

“what did that have to do with what just happened?” He raised an eyebrow.

“well… i want to go further” Your cheeks were on fire now. All of this explaining was making it worse.

“further…” He frowns at you while he thinks.. “ohh!” He says. “oh..” His repeats at realization. “are you sure?”

You nod your head and glance away a few times. “it’s okay to say no, we can just watch tv”

“no? why would i say that? look at you” He frowns. “i’m sorry, not like that”

“it’s fine” You nervously brush off.

“i’m just nervous” He admits. You both were, it only took one of the two to get things started, and you decided it would be you.

“i just want you, Sully” You lean forward and place a hand on the side of his face. “i have for a while” You look away from his eyes to stare down at his parted lips.

“i-i uh, i don’t know what to say” He subconsciously leans in with you.

“don’t say anything” You whisper onto his lips before kissing them. This time, the kiss went from passionate to hungry very quickly. Your hands left the blanket behind and substituted it for his long fur.

The heat between the two of you was becoming unbearable. Your small mouth feeling an enlarged version of everything in his.

His hands were rubbing up and down your sides, they were so big, it made you feel like a toy in his arms. He reached to slide off your top and you assisted him.

The chilly room air hit your nipples and it made your spine tingle. The feeling didn’t last long though, sully’s hands warmed them right up. Your moans were swallowed by him, you refused to break the kiss.

He massages you in such an erotic way, it has you convinced that this isn’t his first time. He pulls away from the kiss, eyes low, and a short string of spit connecting your lips.

He heads right for your neck, leaving wet kisses and occasionally sucking on it. He ended up finding a sweet spot, it made you wriggle in front of him.

You were practically on his lap now, holding him close by the neck, not wanting it to stop. You suppressed your moans careful to not wake your parents up.

He nibbles at the area. “you alright?” His voice traveled down your spine and right into your core.

“mhm” You manage. He trailed kisses from your neck, to your now firm nipples. The grip on his fur tightened once he took one into his mouth, going in circles with his thick tongue.

You begin to feel something press against your clit, you slightly jolt but begin to gently rock your hips back and forth on it, gaining a grunt from Sully.

This is him? There’s no way that thing is fitting, just based off of the bulge. Sully kisses you down the center of your stomach and at this point you were flat on your back.

He slides your shorts off with ease, revealing your lacy panties. He stared into your very existence with his bright blue eyes and took his time using his teeth to pull them down to your ankles. Warm air from his large nose briefly warming your pulsating clit during the process.

You were beyond horny after that. You could’ve rode one of his horns for all you cared now. He tossed the underwear aside and hovered over you.

“i’ve never actually done, this before” He says, glancing down at your vagina.

“mm what?” Your voice was absolutely laced with carnal desire. You could see his demeanor change for a brief moment.

You couldn’t be surprised about that. You were on display under him, hot and ready, soaking in anticipation of his next move.

He doesn’t wait, he dives right in to you. Sucking at your clit and licking your entrance, you literally had no idea how, but you couldn’t even breath at the moment.

Your thighs flexed and your hole clenched around nothing. Your hips were rocking with your movements as your eyes watered from holding back your moans.

“this any good?” He deep voice almost sent you over the edge, making you freeze.

“mhm” Was all you could get out without being too loud. He lifted your legs onto his shoulder and your head was barely touching the bed as you were now almost upside down.

He plunged his long tongue deep into you. You immediately grab a pillow and shove your face into it to shut up.

Your legs shook as you cried in pleasure. With one last thrust of his tongue, you were sent over the edge, it all went white for a moment and you let your moans melt into the cushiony pillow.

“that” He suddenly says. Your breathing was heavy and beads of sweat decorated your body as you came down from your high.

“huh?” You asked, confused.

“i’ve never done that before” He admits.

“damn… could’ve fooled me” He puts your legs down and you take time to catch your breath.

“you tasted amazing though” He smirked.

“proof?” You manage.

He leans over and puts his hands on either side of you, pulling into another deep kiss. You were lifted off of the bed this time though and wrapped your legs around him.

“(Y/N).” He almost never says your name so this took you a little by surprise.

“yes?”

“if this becomes too much, please tell me” He says seriously.

“a safe word?” You ask.

“i guess so”

“i vote crepe” You say.

“oh i love those” He licks his lips and looks down at yours.

“i know, you could hear that word a mile away” You joke before kissing him. He’s up at this point, and it’s very prominent.

His penis was almost touching your asshole while he was holding you, it was surreal, how big it was. He was slowly moving your moving your slick folds over his length, coating it well.

You could feel him pulsating under you. “put it in” You break the kiss and speak. He lifts you up a bit and gently lowered you.

Your mouth fell open with the girth, you knew this wasn’t being stretched to the max but damn was it close.

He tried to go slow and talk you through the pain and you just wanted him to rip off the bandaid. He took your advice and bottomed out.

You knew he was touching your cervix, there was no way to not do it with that length. Your toes were curled and he moaned at the feeling of your wet and tight walls sucking him in.

He slowly lifts you off and lowers you again. This was repeated until until you were finally feeling pleasure instead of pain. You already knew you were absolutely ruined after this experience.

His grunts and your whimpers were almost overcoming the volume of the television. You put a finger under to his mouth as a sign for him to quiet down.

He looks at you with doey eyes and knitted eyebrows. Well fuck me. That look was going ti drive you insane.

You toss your head back and he quickens the pace. Your whole body relaxed as it prepares for the second orgasm.

Your eyes were blurry from glossing over, and your hands were gripping at his which were on your hips.

The thrusts were getting sloppy from him, you knew he was getting close. “Sully, don’t do it in me” You moan out. He pulls out and uses your clit and wet folds to rub himself off.

He eyes almost shut while he looks down at you, still with knitted eyebrows. You open your mouth and stick your tongue out, catching some of his seed.

He watched as you deviously licked away the substance. He doesn’t say anything while heavily breathing, just pits you on the bed and flips you over.

“you tasted good t-“ You cut yourself off with a large moan after he thrust into you. You covered your face with a pillows agains and pray that you weren’t heard.

His grip on your wasn’t letting up on you as he pounded hard. Sounds of muffled slaps from your skin and his fur were all you heard.

He grabbed both of your hands and held them back to continue, you couldn’t do anything but hum in order to stay quiet.

He got close to your neck and began lowly growling. You curse to yourself as you feel yourself getting close again. His mouth kissed at your sweet spot again before hitting it. You hissed for a moment but quickly the pain was overthrown by pleasure.

Everything was amplified, you were coming, it went white again and your legs flexed. Sully wasn’t slowing though and you couldn’t even used a hand to slow him.

His penis was practically lifting you into the air right now while he went after his high. The room goes silent as you feel an tsunami of pleasure attack you.

You couldn’t hear anything but you felt Sully cum inside of you. Your fucked out mind however, could care less. Your body goes limp and your hearing comes back.

“i’m sorry are you okay?” He frantically asks.

“y-… i-“ You just stay silent and nod. Your cheeks wet from the tears that rolled down your face. What. The fuck.

Your body was trembling from the overstimulation and the chilly air. “James, that was my favorite experiment” You say between breaths.

“heh, mine too” He chuckles. “sorry about your neck..”

“it honestly made it better” You brush him off and get up. “maybe next time let’s see if we can fill a few scream canisters” You smirk.

You see him slowly getting another erection and you scurry away.

~~~~~~~~~~

You lay on Sullys broad chest, nuzzling into his fur while you watch your show. You still couldn’t really believe that it all happened. It was great.

“wait, i get it now, you wanted curiosity to kill the cat, that ‘cat’!” He randomly sits up.

You laugh. “yes Sully, late as always” At least it didn’t go over his head in the end.

⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦ ⌦

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 759: Modest Mouse This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About

It’s been five months since I’ve written one of these album posts, mainly because 2022 was such a busy year. When I made my last album post on August 1st, I was still talking about my favorite albums from 2021. While I enjoy talking about current music, I think I get more enjoyment writing about music that I’ve had plenty of time to sit with, and consequently, I felt like I was running out of things to say about new releases.

I wasn’t sure how to dip my toes back into this project. Then on New Year’s Eve I got the news that Jeremiah Green passed away.

I’m sure Modest Mouse meant a lot of different things to a lot of different people. And for most people, their impression of the band starts around 2004 with their big hit “Float On.” For me, Modest Mouse will always be that curious local band from the early ‘90s.

A quick recap on Seattle in the ‘90s: Nirvana blew up in the fall of ‘91, and their success helped turn the spotlight on Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Screaming Trees, and Mudhoney. Seattle was suddenly seen as a hub of underground rock music. But the reality is that we were a geographically isolated city with restrictive liquor laws and the Teen Dance Ordinance, a law that made all ages concerts virtually impossible. Rock music in Seattle was for the 21+ crowd. If you were a kid and you liked going to shows, you had to go to the youth centers out in the suburbs, or you had to go down to Tacoma and Olympia, or you religiously attended the one tiny all ages venue in the sketchiest part of downtown, The Velvet Elvis, that was strangely exempt from the ordinance on a technicality (namely, it had fixed seating, so you couldn’t “dance”). There was a distinct generational gap between the crowd that saw Nirvana play at the Central Saloon the summer before Nevermind came out and the local teenagers who picked up guitars in its wake.

Botch started playing in ‘93 and by the end of ‘94 we were playing shows at The Velvet Elvis. We were also playing spots like The Old Fire House in Redmond and Ground Zero in Bellevue, the suburban youth centers that held weekly concerts for the underage crowd. Some weeks you’d get a touring acts like Neurosis or Rocket From the Crypt, but we were so far off the standard touring circuit that most of the time you just got local bands. 

Modest Mouse was a name we saw around a lot. The name sounded a bit twee for our tastes, but we knew their drummer Jeremiah had been in a hardcore band called Drown, and he’d been an early fixture at The Old Fire House. Despite the small nature of the underage scene in Seattle and the crossover in our musical  interests, I wouldn’t hear Modest Mouse until Botch went out on our first tour in ‘96. In San Francisco, we played at the famous Epicenter Records. The bill was Modest Mouse, Scenic Vermont, Trial, and Botch. There were maybe 20 people there. But man, Modest Mouse fuckin’ ruled. They could be sweet and pretty one moment and screaming over distortion and feedback the next. We all became fans that night.

There was so much I identified with in their music. For one thing, it felt like every song started with a nugget of an idea---a solid verse/chorus structure---and then drifted off into some noisy exploratory jam session. It didn’t feel far off from what Botch was doing in that regard. We’d start a song with a couple of riffs that worked together, and we’d just jam in the basement until the rest of the song fell into place. It’s funny... I just assumed that was how every band wrote together. That’s what Fugazi and Drive Like Jehu did, after all. But in hindsight, I think it was a very unique approach, or at least it’s one that’s fallen out of favor with newer bands. When I listen to those early Modest Mouse songs, you can feel the excitement of a band bouncing ideas off of each other, letting happy accidents turn into whole new parts. 

There was something else that really resonated with me about those early Modest Mouse records. There was a sense of wonder with the western landscape, a fascination with geography, and a sense of loneliness and alienation when you become uprooted from your childhood home. It was all there in their record titles---Interstate 8, The Lonesome Crowded West, This Is a Long Drive. I’d only moved to the Northwest in ‘92, so I felt uprooted too. But there was also this new appreciation for wide open spaces. After living on an island you could drive across in a couple of hours, it boggled my mind that you could just get in a car and drive for several days and still not see the other side of the continent. Modest Mouse’s music captured that excitement for the open road and the possibilities it offered.

This Is a Long Drive had come out just a few months before that SF show. This album, along with the Broke single, got a lot of plays in our camp after playing with them. National success for Modest Mouse was still somewhere on the horizon, but by the time summer was over it felt like they were taking off regionally. They sold out a show at The Velvet Elvis that fall. I didn’t even know bands could sell out The Velvet Elvis back then. Sure, it held maybe 125 people, tops, but I didn’t realize there were 125 kids hip to the weird art house theater tucked in an alley in a grimy part of downtown. 

By the time The Lonesome Crowded West came out, they were a national act. A year or two earlier you’d only hear their music at friend’s houses or on the local college radio station. Now you heard their music in coffee shops, bars, and record stores all over the States. They belonged to the world.

Weirdly enough, my only interaction with Jeremiah would happen years later. At some point in the late ‘00s, after the success with Good News For People Who Love Bad News and his brief hiatus from the band, I was at a grocery store in Seattle with a mutual friend. “You guys know each other, right?” the friend asked in lieu of a proper introduction. We both shrugged and smiled, introduced ourselves, both saying “yeah, I know” in response. We were the same age, had come up in the same scene. I’d gone in to work a shift at The Old Fire House Teen Center the day he stopped by to talk to my boss about quitting Modest Mouse. We were in the same musical orbit, likely going through the same growing pains at the same stages of our lives, which is probably why their music hit me the way it did. 

RIP Jeremiah Green. Thank you for the music.

[the-clari-net]

Freezing

Ao3

Sam doesn’t remember the last time she was warm.

When the accident first happened, Danny’s body temperature wasn’t something very noticeable to her. Maybe it was because his powers weren’t as strong in the beginning. Sometimes she’d get some goosebumps standing next to him, but it never really correlated in her mind.

Tucker was the first one who actually connected the dots for her.

The trio were having one of their commonplace movie nights at Sam’s house. While grabbing her popcorn, she was about to plop herself in her usual seat, when Tucker stops her.

“Hey guys, uh I think we gotta change the seating order. Because Danny, I love you bro but I’m freezing every time I sit next to you and I need to drink my slushie in peace.”

Sam blinked, finally understanding what Tucker meant. “Oh, then I’ll just be in the middle.”

Danny just laughed a little and went to sit on Sam’s left, and Tucker on her right. As the two began to discuss what pizza they should order, Sam became hyperaware of the temperature differences on her two sides.

Sam realized she didn’t really mind it. Tucker was a radiator on his own, plus with Danny’s lower body temperature, she felt like she was a perfect equilibrium with her two favorite people in the universe.

---

When a ghost was nearby and Danny’s mouth would fill with mist, she’d feel a cool draft in her face.

When he’d suddenly transform next to them, her whole body would break out into goosebumps and the tip of her nose would be colder. She honestly didn’t mind. It was just a part of him. She accepted it like Tucker’s shampoo scent, or they accepted her surprisingly dainty sneezes.

The summers were when Sam was clingiest to Danny. The heat was unbearable, and Danny was a walking freezer, it was wonderful. He would complain that she’d warm him up too much but he never pushed her away. He’d just let her press her arm against his until Tucker would return with popsicles in his hands. Those were the best summers.

Soon enough, their adventures got bigger. They began to have adventures in the Ghost Zone. Learning more about Danny’s abilities in the Far Frozen. More cold.

At one point Sam went back in time and rewrote their history.

She knows that Danny doesn’t remember that event. No one does, besides Desiree and herself; there’s a mutual understanding of their shared secret together and don’t talk about it.

That brief time felt strange. To return to a time when the only thing they worried about was next week’s homework and Dash was their ultimate enemy. Danny looked livelier; his skin was darker than what she was used to. His eyes were plain blue, and his shoulders were more hunched. Less self-assured.

She had nearly forgotten how it felt to stand next to Danny and feel warmth radiating off of him. It felt…wrong.

As the day wore on, Sam realized just how integral becoming Phantom was to Danny, and how much it ultimately strengthened his relationship with her and Tucker. There was a strange distance she felt when she hung out with them. It felt horrible.

Once Sam realized her mistake, she did everything she could to undo her wish. Thankfully she succeeded and things returned to her strange brand of normal.  

Time went on, and their trio remained as strong as ever. Beyond high school, throughout college and their first steps into adulthood and after. Danny, Tucker, and Sam would remain as close and inseparable as they were as kids.

Of course, life (and death) had a fun way of coming into their lives and would intervene, yet they worked through it all together. Several more adventures would come, and time would soon pass quickly.

---

Sam didn’t like the care home. It was too warm. After a lifetime surrounded by a nice chill that never left her bones, the quiet humming of the vents pouring out warm air as she sleeps in thick sheets felt suffocating. The nurses were constantly urging her to layer up and wear more sweaters in the wintertime.

Most of the nurses here are young. Much too young to remember a time when the town was never warm. Where rooms would suddenly become unbearably freezing, and strange winds would come in. Sam can’t really blame them for thinking that she’s weak enough that a little chill will take her out.

Samantha Manson spends her last day alive calmly looking over some old photos, texting Tucker as he’s out of town visiting some relatives while eating a cauliflower sandwich for lunch. She quickly passes away as she lies down to take a mid-afternoon nap.

She dies in the middle of summer, the bright sun shining in her room through the curtains.

---

Sam wakes up.

The first thing she recognizes is that the ceiling is black, with a beautiful gothic chandelier hanging above her. As she sits up, she notices she is in a comfortable bedspread that’s to her liking. The design of the entire bedroom is all to her taste. The window in her room shows that it’s dark outside, with brilliant stars illuminating and spattering across the sky. It feels familiar despite her knowing that she’s never been in a space like this before. Sam is quick to get out of her bed.

She leaves her well-furnished bedroom and, goes down cold empty hallways. Somehow, she knows exactly where she's supposed to go.

She reached the end of a corridor and stands in front of two elaborate and intricately carved doors. There are runes etched into it that she recalls learning at one point. Back then, it seemed impossible to remember what each of these symbols meant, yet now she reads through it intuitively as if it were English or Hebrew. Peace. Strength. Justice. Protection. Sam opens one of the doors and enters.

This space is different than the rest, the temperature it at the lowest it’s ever been. Yet, the cold doesn’t affect her.

There’s a throne here. At the top of the throne sits a ghost. With white hair, green eyes, and a familiar grin that she’s known for ages.

He walks down the steps from his throne and takes his hand in hers. His hands are freezing, yet she doesn’t shiver.

“Hey Sam,” he says,

“Welcome home”.

[frootyrooties]

chances

CH 3: TIT-FOR-TAT

plot: American photographer Leah Walker is ecstatic when she’s presented with the opportunity to spend the summer of 1975 in Stockport, UK to take photographs of local English groups. Given her history of taking photos of big acts such as The Rolling Stones and The Doors, she is taken by surprise when told that her first clients will be the up and coming Manchester-based group, 10cc, who have kept a low-profile until recently, after gaining worldwide stardom from their hit I’m Not In Love. Leah knows little about the group and gets acquainted fairly quickly, but what she doesn’t know is how much trouble she’s about to get herself into with the group’s beloved lead guitarist, Eric Stewart. She has all summer, come to think of it. The possibilities are endless.

themes: moody eric, eric’s love for food :3, feisty leah, venting, consoling, first mention of eric’s divorce, first date!, whole lotta fluff

a/n: After spending one month in Europe, I finally found inspiration to write this chapter. I had the pleasure of visiting Mr. Stewart’s pride and joy, Strawberry Recording Studios. I was over the moon! I am still in disbelief that I went. But enough about that, everything I’ve written so far is almost historically accurate based on interviewing a few individuals who know the boys personally (so grateful for that opportunity). Spending a few weeks in England, including one week in Stockport where this lovely tale takes place really brought on some much needed inspiration into writing this chapter. I’ve also been cooped up in my feelings lately so I really poured my heart out into this one. Cheers!

“You know I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left the studio that night.”

It is morning. The past couple days have been such a whirlwind, I haven’t got a clue what time or day it is. The telephone on the nightstand rings unmercifully loud, waking me from my deep slumber. My eyes feel heavy, and I can only manage to open them halfway as I struggle to sit up to answer this call. I turn to my side and lean on my elbow as my other hand reaches for the phone. I bring the device up to my ear.

“H-hello?” my voice is soft, with undertones of confusion and anxiety as I await to identify the caller.

“Hi. It’s Eric.” the man on the other line is curt. I sense tension in his voice.

Understandably, given the amount of people I’ve encountered these past couple days, I struggle to remember who this “Eric” is.

“Eric? Oh dear..I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong num—“

“I am speaking to Miss Leah Walker, yeah?” The man interjects, his tone now growing slightly irritable. It suddenly hits me like a freight train. A wave of embarrassment crashes into me the moment I realize who it is. It’s Eric Stewart of 10cc.

“Oh, Eric! Hello..I..Christ, I am so sorry I didn’t recog—“

“That’s alright, no need to explain yourself.” He says this matter-of-factly. He sounds aggravated. But, what about?

I sit dumbfounded in silence and wait for him to supplement his response.

“Right. Anyway, I’m calling because a young man hand delivered your pictures to me last night just before I left the studio and I thought I’d give you a call this morning to talk about some thoughts I have about them.” Oh dear..am I in trouble?

He now has my full attention and I am properly awake. I finally manage to sit up against my pillow, clutching onto the phone. I twirl the cord around my finger to ease my anxiety as I mentally develop a response.

“Of course, absolutely..I’m all ears.”

“Hmph. Well, I thought I’d let you know how atrocious these pictures turned out. There’s too much exposure in most of them, you can hardly see our faces! We look like the bloody ghosts of Christmas past! And for fuck’s sake, do you even know how to get your point of interest in frame?! I’ve done photography for years, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to get your focal point in center view. You know, for someone who claims to be a seasoned photographer, you’ve made some very amateur mistakes here. Perhaps, it would behoove you to take a refresher course.”

I can feel my blood boiling. I don’t think I have ever met anyone so irreverent, so condescending, so..unnerving.     

You little arrogant son-of-a-bitch! Just who the hell do you think you are, talking down on me like I’m an imbecile?!

At this point, my temper has reached its peak and I decide to give him a piece of my mind. I struggle to maintain composure.

“Eric. Mr. Stewart. Perhaps it would behoove you to give those photos another look. My work has not faltered me, and I am confident that I captured your group’s pictures with great finesse. If I am wrong, feel free to reach out to me again and I will rectify my mistakes. Oh, and might I suggest that you be a little less rash towards people who are doing you a favor? Then perhaps people wouldn’t find you so unlikeable.”

I said the word unlikeable through almost gritted my teeth. I slam the phone down with such force, I can feel the nightstand tremble.

I am fuming, absolutely livid. That might’ve been the very first proper insult I have ever received from a client. I suppose I’ve been spoiled with how mild Americans are with their insults compared to these Brits, but I was not expecting this degree of aloofness from anyone I would meet here. And especially not from someone like Eric Stewart.

God, where is a cigarette when I need one? After only recently having smoked one cigarette for the first time in my life, I am already finding myself craving for another. I should bear in mind the addicting properties that cigarettes have. Most people in my family smoke, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise just how easily people get addicted. I feel my anger beginning to subside as I preoccupy myself with this random thought. It is too early in the day to be stressed, to be flustered, to be worked up about a man who otherwise seems..just..so wonderful, so wonderful. I ought to call him, Mr. Wonderful.

I roll my eyes and sneer at this utterly ridiculous deviation in my thoughts. He’s probably got a girlfriend..or worse, a wife even! Stay out of other people’s turf, Leah. You’re here to work with clients, not sleep with them. I give myself a gentle reminder that I shouldn’t meddle with what belongs to other people.

I jerk slightly as I hear the phone blaring once again. Hmph. It must be that bloody arrogant bastard again..I roll my eyes, crossing my arms as I make a presumption about who is calling. I let the phone ring a few more times before answering. You’re going to have to wait for me to pick up, your highness. What an annoying little thing this Eric is.

I finally decide to reward him for his patience.

“Hello, this is Leah Walk—”

“Hi.” A familiar voice interjects.

“Hi..erm..may I ask who is speaking?” Playing possum. A smirk breaks across my face.

“Oi, have you forgotten all about me already?” Eric stifles a laugh at my response.

Oh why do you have to be so gosh darn adorable? Makes it hard to stay mad at you.

“Oh it’s just you..” I speak sarcastically American.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah..it’s me, your favorite person.” Eric says with such overinflated confidence. The nerve. The audacity. After relentlessly insulting me, he hits me with ‘it’s me, your favorite person.’

“How can I help you?” I am curt with him. My tone quickly switches to one that is rather business-like. I am not here to play games with you, Eric.

“Leah, listen..I—” he pauses briefly and I hear him sigh deeply on the other line, “I am sorry to disturb you again but I just wanted to apologize for how irrational I was on the previous phone call.” Oh? It’s impressive how quickly an epiphany can occur to someone.

I listen quietly as I await for him to finish his soliloquy.

“Erm..I know you’ve just met me but..I have just been so desperate for some form of consolation from anyone, and I hope you don’t mind me saying this but..I feel like I can comfortably express my feelings to you without fear of judgement. I feel that I can trust you enough to keep this conversation between us. Have you got a free second? May I vent a little?”

My heart sinks at his willingness to be vulnerable to me. Our working relationship is only in its embryonic stage, but that certainly doesn’t mean that I cannot sympathize with him. I refuse to be cold-hearted. It makes people feel uneasy around you when you’re cold. It makes me feel uneasy at even just the thought of being cold. I devote to giving him my full, undivided attention at this very moment. I sense pain in his voice. I want to know more about you, Eric Stewart.

“Well carry on, I’m listening.” I sound a bit whimsical, I hope I am not coming off aloof.

Just for this moment, I would like to forget about our professional relationship and be a friend to him with open and patient ears..to be a shoulder to cry on.

“Right. Erm..where do I even start?” he lets out a nervous laugh. There are undertones of frustration in his voice. A damsel-in-distress

“Start wherever you feel comfortable, Eric.”

“Right. Okay, thank you..” he sighs deeply then continues his monologue, “I’m just one man, Leah. Yet people that I work with, the same people that use the studio that I’ve put my blood, sweat and tears in feel that it’s alright to toy me around. They expect me to function as if I’m made up of five people. If I could clone multiples of myself, I would. To keep these people happy. They all know very well how hard I work at recording and producing music, and they’ve used that to their advantage. And even after all my efforts and all that I’ve done for them, I’m still not good enough. Not a single ounce of acknowledgement from any of them. Pity, isn’t it?”

I sense bitterness in his voice. I attempt to process all that he’s said to me so far. That angry feeling I had for him has now been lifted. Or perhaps he’s just trying to gain my sympathy so I can forget about how upset he made me this morning. Eric, whatever you’re doing it’s working.

“Are you still listening to me, love? Or am I boring you to death?” he lets out a soft laugh. Am I allowed to swoon a little?

“Yes Eric, continue. Please.”

“Well no, I don’t think you understand how this works. You see, I speak my mind then you’re supposed to validate my feelings.”

“Oh, is that right? So you’ve called me up just to get a free counseling session? You know I oughta charge you extra for this.” Again, sarcastically American.

“You best believe I will pay you however much quid you wa—”

“Eric, you know I’m joking, right?” I chuckle as I interrupt him, “okay, so let me get this straight..it sounds to me that you’re not getting along with your band mates, yeah?”

“Sure seems that way.”

“Right so, I don’t know if I am the right person to be giving you advice on how you can rectify your situation as I am not a licensed psychologist, however do you think it would benefit you and the rest of the group to talk it out?”

“Well you see, that’s what we’re struggle with at the moment. All four us—myself, Graham, Lol and Kev usually have these ‘truth sessions’ throughout the day while working in the studio. These are opportunities for us to take a break from songwriting and recording and talk about our strengths and weaknesses as musicians. What we like and don’t like about our progress on a record, for example. But lately, it seems that these sessions have become less..frequent. I don’t understand it, I mean why the sudden change in routine?”

“I see. Well in that case, have you tried to initiate these sessions?”

“No. I don’t know if I want to. I’m just—”

“Afraid of rejection?

He remains silent for a brief moment then produces a response.

“Yes.”

“Tell you what. From what I observed during our initial encounter, you seem very competent in your musical abilities, Eric. Do you agree?”

“Yes, but—”

“Hm. See? There’s the problem. You’re full of doubt. The word but says to me that you are doubtful about your abilities to create initiative. Not even as the leader of the group, but just as an equal member.”

He is mute on the other line.

“Eric? You see, the way this works is that I give you my two cents, and you give me yours. Tit-for-tat.”

“Tit-for-tat.” He chuckles.

“So..?”

“What are you doing right now? Are you free?” Funny how he changes the subject.

“Well let’s see..it’s 8:30 in the morning and you’re lucky you’ve caught me during my day off so to answer your question, yes I am free. Why do you ask?”

“Erm..I was just thinking..would you mind if we carried on this conversation in person? I’m not really fond of long telephone calls, you see?”

My goodness, bossy AND primadonna.

“It’s gonna cost ya.”

“I’ll pay for breakfast. Please say yes?” He’s ignoring my sarcasm this time. Begging, are we?

“Fine. You’re only getting an hour and a half out of me. Two hours if you’re well behaved.” I smile through my words.

“Hm..I promise to be on my best behavior.” The bastard’s probably smirking right now. Bet you’re proud of yourself. Jerk. He’s lucky he’s cute.  

“I’ll believe it when I see it. I’m about one block away from your studio. 11 Alberta Street. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“I know Alberta Street. Give me 10?”

“Great. See you in 10.”

“Fantastic. See you soon. Goodbye.”

“Bye.” I hang up and I don’t quite know what to do with myself at the moment. I feel happy, giddy even. A date? With Eric Stewart of 10cc? However, I do not consider this a date as I am just helping to console an emotionally distressed client.

For some strange reason, I feel I am doing something wrong agreeing to go out with a client. However, this man seems like he is in peril and is in need of a friend to comfort him.

“Gosh, what do I even wear?” I mutter to myself as I get myself sorted.

It seems as though we will blessed with lovely weather again today so I settle for something more casual and weather appropriate. I dig through my closet to find my yellow sleeveless sundress and scoop it out. I stride over to the mirror and lean the dress against myself, mentally critiquing whether this will be a good fit. I smile as I gander at the mirror, picturing myself with the dress on. This should do.

I slip the dress on and flatten out any wrinkles with my hands. I take another look in the mirror and not meaning to toot my own horn, but this dress looks rather fetching on me. What will he think of it?

I quickly apply some mascara and a little cherry red lipstick for good measure. My hair has maintained its curls from the day before so I decide to leave it be. And just as I am finishing up with the beauty works, the doorbell rings. My heart begins to pound. I snatch my purse then make my way downstairs and open the front door slightly at first to make sure it is who I think it is. I proceed to open the door all the way to ogle at the Adonis that’s standing right before me. I scan him from head to toe—black button down shirt, a navy blue suit jacket, denim bell bottoms and a pair of light brown platforms. He could be doubling as a runway model!

“Hi, Eric.” A teethy grin spreads across my face as I look at him in his eyes.

He examines me from head to toe, his eyes pausing briefly at my bust (eyes up here, pal!), then our eyes collide.

“Hello, Leah.” His voice is soft. It’s so comforting. “You look really lovely.”  

“Why thank you sir, you don’t look too bad yourself.” We both stand in silence for a brief moment, then simultaneously chuckle at our unspoken banter.

“So are we just going to stand here, then? I’m a hungry boy. I need fuel.” He rests his hands on his stomach, indicating his need for food.

“Well show us the way then, sir!” I chirp.

“Aren’t you going lock your door?” he looks at me with a boyish smile.

“Oh, you’re right. Where’s my mind?” It’s all your fault for being so uncanningly attractive. It’s so distracting.

“Would you like me to lock it for you? After all, you’ve done more than enough for me thus far this morning. It’s the least I can do.”

“Erm..if you insist, go right ahead.” I smile as I hand him the house keys.

“Right..er..” he swipes the keys from my hand and somehow correctly selects the key to the front door. He proceeds to close and lock, then hands me back the keys.

“Why thank you, kind sir.” I curtsy in front of him.

“Pleasure is mine, my fair lady.” He bows, then just before he straightens up, he takes my hand and plants a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

“Shall we, love?” He stands erect, smirking at me.

“Please, lead the way.” I gesture to the open road in front of us.

“Yes, madame.” He links his arm with mine and we proceed to stroll towards the alley way leading to the main road.

The smell of his cologne lingers against my nose. It’s gentle to the sensitive nose—a fresh clean linen scent, so it appears. I pat his upper arm gently as we continue to pace.

“So where are we going?” I smile up at him.

“The Red Bull. It’s this pub just around the corner from the studio. Me and the guys usually go there for lunch but I like to go there for breakfast as well on the days I’m working in the studio. Their full english breakfast is to die for!” he says those last words with such enthusiasm.

“So I take it breakfast food is your favorite kind of food?”

“Well I don’t discriminate when it comes to food, love. Breakfast, lunch and dinner food all sound appealing to me. I’ll have you know, I’m a bit of a foodie. Food makes me happy.”

I giggle at his vivacity in discussing food.

“Well then you wouldn’t have any second thoughts about finishing my leftovers? In case I don’t finish my meal this morning?” I raise an eyebrow at him, a girlish smile broadening across my face.  

“Say no more, love!” he widens his gaze at me, leaning his face into me.

I chuckle at his playfulness. I admire his quirky tendencies. I take note of how he hasn’t peeled his gaze off me. I feel my face growing warm. I look at him from the corner of my eye then tilt my head slightly as I gaze up at him.

“Eric, why do you keep looking at me like that?”

We take a brief pause in our walk. He looks at me earnestly.

“Like what? Like you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve seen today?” he lets out a tiny smile, maintaining his gaze on me.

I gaze up at him dumbfounded, my mouth ajar.

“Erm..” I can only manage to let out a nervous laugh as I am at a loss for words. I feel my face growing warmer.

We lock eyes with each other, not saying a word. He smiles at me meekly.   

“You know, I was once asked how I would define the word ‘beauty’ and I simply said ‘woman.’ So pardon me for saying this but, I think you’re the most beautiful woman I have seen in a long time. And believe me, I’ve seen plenty in my lifetime. I think I’m entitled to that opinion.”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too early for this kind of talk?” I bite my lower lip as I attempt to stifle my smile.

“Right. We’re stalling and I’m hungry. You must be hungry, too.”

“Not as hungry as you, Mr. foodie.”

“Well let’s quit larking about and get a move on!”

We quicken our pace through the alley way, then he grabs my hand as we turn right and make our way towards the crosswalk. We both look left and right to gander at oncoming cars, and clasping his hand with mine, we run across the street. Just from that short excursion, we’re both now filled with exhilaration and adrenaline.

He shakes his head, chuckling as he catches his breath.

“You alright?” I look at him a bit perturbed.

“Yes..” He responds breathlessly, “I’m..just..out of shape.”

“Ah, that means less food, more exercise for you, young man.” I tease him.

“Oi, keep it up you’ll see what happens.”

“What are you going to do to me, hm?” I smile at him girlishly.

“I don’t think you want to know my answer to that.” He smirks.

I playfully smack his arm. “Eric!”

“Oi! What was that for? You ask a guy a question like that, you will get a guy answer.” He says matter-of-factly.

I shake my head at him, chuckling. “Unbelievable..”

I begin to walk ahead of him, leaving him behind.

“Hey! Where are you going?!” he runs up behind me.

“I thought you were hungry? I’m growing hungry myself with all this stalling we’re doing.”

“Ah, we’ve got to feed the girl then. Come on.” He snakes his fingers through mine and he leads the way to the pub.

We climb the steps that lead to the front door and enter the abode. From first glance, I only see a couple sitting in the corner and eating their meal in silence.

“There he is! The man of the hour!” A voice echoes through the pub in that sing-songy Mancunian accent. A woman with long, flowy strawberry blonde hair gracefully walks towards Eric and I.

“It is I indeed and today I have company.” Eric snakes his arm across my shoulders and pulls me closer to him, smiling at me.

“Ellie, this is Leah our talented photographer. Leah, this is my good friend Ellie. She runs the pub and the kitchen. Power woman, she is.”

“Oh, you stop it.” she giggles at Eric’s remark and extends a handshake to me. “Lovely to meet you, Leah.”  

“Lovely to meet you as well, Ellie.” I shake her hand, a tiny smile breaking across my face.

She smiles at me briefly then turns her attention back to Eric.

“Table for two, is it Stewart?”

“Right on, El.”

“Well go on, you know where to sit. Are we doing the usual brekkie, Stewart?”

Judging by the way this woman talks, she knows Eric like the back of her hand. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a history together. I want to roll my eyes at the thought.

“For me, yes. And for the lady..” Eric turns to me, prompting me to respond with my food order.

“You mentioned you were getting the full english breakfast, yeah?”

“Yes, madame.”

“Then that’s what I’ll have. Please and thank you.” I turn to Ellie, smiling meekly.

“Right. Eric knows where to sit. Make yourselves at home. I will bring you your breakfast shortly.”

“Cheers, El!” Eric chirps.

He weaves his fingers into mine and leads us to an isolated corner booth adjacent to the window.

“After you, madame.” He gestures for me to sit in the booth.

I slide into the booth and he follows suit. He rests his arm over my shoulder then gazes at me with admiration.

“What do you think?”

“Of this place?” I take a second to glance at my surroundings. “I like it. It’s quite cozy, isn’t it?”

“Exactly. One of the reasons me and the guys love coming here. And the workers here are all just lovely.”

“Hmph..I bet they are.” You don’t say. You seem to get on well with little miss blonde there.

“You alright, then? You’ve been quiet since we got here.”

I gaze up at him and study his eyes. “Eric, can I ask you a personal question?”

“You can ask me anything. It seems I’ve been doing most of the talking this morning, I think it’s time I hear from you.”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

He chuckles. “Is that what’s got you worried? No, love. I’m single. Divorced.”

What? Divorced?

He leans into my ear, seeing the deer-in-headlight look on my face. “That may be a story for another time. Today, I just want to get to know you more and to pick up where we left off in our conversation from earlier.”

“Okay. Sure.” I smile at him modestly.

“As I was saying earlier—”

“Eric, listen. You’ve got to stand up for yourself and show that you’re more than just a man with all these tricks up his sleeves. People will continue to take advantage of your good work ethic and kind heart. Sometimes, it’s good to let people know what’s on your mind so they understand you better.”  

He gazes at me with a demure smile. “Now where have you been all my life? Where were you when I was at my lowest?”

I lean into him. “Quit doubting yourself.”

“Right, you two. Make way for brekkie. Leah, I made this just the way Eric loves it. I think you’re going to love it as well.” Ellie deftly slides our breakfast platters in front of us. I can see our food steaming. Now I’m hungry.

“Thank you, Ellie. So lovely of you to do that!” I smile at her broadly.

“Cheers! Right, drinks. Eric, would you like your Guinness this morning?”

“No, thanks. I would like to take it easy today. Thanks, El. Perhaps Leah would like one?”

“Oh no, thank you. This is too early for beer. A glass of water would be nice.”

“Make that two, El.” Eric adds.

“On it!” Ellie scurries off into the pub then quickly comes back with a couple glasses of water and places them in front of us.

“Are you sorted now, then?” Ellie inquires.

“Sorted. Cheers, El!” Eric proclaims.

“Cheers! Enjoy breakfast, you two.” Ellie smiles at us both briefly then hurries back into the kitchen.

I take a gander at my plate and decide where to start. Everything looks delicious. Two hearty looking sausages, over easy fried eggs, baked beans, juicy red tomatoes, fried mushrooms, two slices of wheat toast and two dark patties that I’m assuming are what the English call ‘black pudding.’ I take a tiny scoop of the baked beans and nibble on them. Perfect. Just the right amount of flavor in the sauce. I proceed to slice into a sausage and take a bite. Mm..delightful. I turn to Eric who’s almost halfway finished with his meal.

He looks at me. Face stuffed with food like a chipmunk. Brilliant.

“Wait. Don’t move.” I snatch my smaller back up camera from my purse then snap a picture of him, giggling.

“Oi!” he groans through his food. He swallows his food quickly. “I’m going to get you for that one!”

“Your face..it looked cute. I couldn’t help it."

“You just can’t help yourself sometimes, can you?” His smile is demure again. He examines my face. His drops his silverware onto his plate then proceeds to caress my face, tracing my jawline his thumb.

“You know I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left the studio that night.” His tone has become more gentle, more vulnerable. Not aggravated, and rash like he was over the phone earlier.

“Is that right?” I’m imploring.

“Listen, Leah. The main reason I called you again was to apologize for being so harsh on you earlier. I went on a deep dive with my emotions this morning for you to understand why I may have acted the way I did. I’ve just had so much shit to deal with lately and not enough guidance. Regardless, it was not right of me to act that way towards you. Please, forgive me.” He’s genuine in his apology I can tell. But there’s more here that I don’t know about. I will let him decide when he feels comfortable to open himself up to me. When he’s ready. For now like he said, we should just try to get to know each other.

“Eric, I’ve already forgotten all about what happened this morning. Please, eat up. I love watching you eat. The joy on your face..it’s priceless. The delight of my day.” I place my hand against his rosy red cheek and I feel the full weight of his head as he rests his head against the palm of my hand. He plants a kiss on my palm then turns to me with a boyish smile.

“May I ask a favor from you?”

“Hm? And what does this favor entail?”

“Will you come to the studio again and do another photoshoot of me and the guys? I’m not going to tell King about it. It’s just for us as a group. For keepsake. I am willing to pay ext—”

“On one condition.” I interject.

“Eh? condition? what condition?”

“I get front row seating to one of your upcoming shows. I want to see you and the guys perform.”

He grins broadly at me. “Well that’s easy enough, love. Consider it done! We will be in London next week. We’d love to have you there. Me especially, I would love to see you again. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

A sudden wave of excitement and elation crashes into me. “Eric, you’re kidding! You mean you’re serious?! I can come to one of your shows?!”

“Am I bluffing, love?” he smirks.

Without hesitation, I scoop him into me, embracing him like he’s a lover of mine who’s been away far too long. And without hesitation on his part he returns the favor, embracing and almost melting into me. It quickly occurs to me that this may have been a very bold move on my part so I peel away from his hold.

“Eh? You alright, love?” he sounds concerned.

“Yes..er..I hope that wasn’t too forward. I’m just so ecstatic to be seeing you all in concert. This may be one of the few I will have gone to since seeing the Beach Boys back in my teens.”

He chuckles. “Well not to burst your bubble, love, but we’re nothing like The Beach Boys. A few of our songs may have that sort of sound, but overall it’s like apples to oranges.”  

“Sadly, I do not listen to The Beach Boys as much as I used to. I’m all grown up now and it’s the 70’s. The music is hip, and bands these days are all just far out!”

“Far out!” he says mockingly in his best midwestern American accent. “Aren’t you just the cutest little thing?”

“You know you could pass for an American with that accent. It’s pretty darn good!”

“Well you see, that’s the way we do it out here in good ‘ole midwestern America.” he says maintaining his pseudoamerican accent.

I fail to stifle a giggle at his little commentary. “Talented. Mr. Stewart. It’s as simple as that.”

“Eh, I was really enjoying our hug. May I have another one?”

My smile is demure this time and without hesitation, I scoop him into my arms again. We sit in this silent embrace. Feeling each other’s warmth. In this booth. In this pub. In this glorious place called Stockport. Life can’t get any better.

———————————————————————————

<<previous chapter next chapter>>

please visit my masterlist if you would like to see some of my other work :))

[hummingbird-of-light]

Against All Odds

Part 311

McCoy

McCoy spent the rest of the morning with Dr. Boyce. They talked at length about many of the things McCoy had thought about that summer and the prince finally broached the topic of medicine. Dr. Boyce had been quite enthusiastic that McCoy would make an excellent doctor. His drive to help others, his instant action with no hesitation, all would be great qualities in the field. Though, Dr. Boyce did remind him of his few faults he would need to continue to work on and overcome. But he had praised McCoy’s success at working on those as well.

He had also given McCoy some very sound advice on how he might make his first moves to change the succession to Leah.

Overall McCoy felt much better as he followed the doctor to the dining room for lunch. The Darnell’s were already in their places with David and Eleanor and McCoy and Dr. Boyce greeted them all. Even Jocelyn, McCoy greeted with a real smile.

He still disliked the idea of having to spend time with her, especially alone, but knowing that Dr. Boyce recognized his love for Scotty was real, he knew his parents must realize it as well. He would be nice, he would be polite and he would let Jocelyn down kindly if need be.

McCoy hadn’t realized how soon the dilemma of letting Jocelyn down would happen. After lunch he had returned to his room and grabbed a book from his shelf. An afternoon of reading in the orchard had appealed to him and he made his way to the gazebo, lost in thoughts of all the times he had sat there with Scotty that summer. He wondered what Scotty was doing at the moment, and stretched a finger over to press his ring.

He settled in on the cushioned bench of the gazebo, the scent of overripe fruit drifting on the breeze. It couldn’t be a more perfect summer afternoon. All that was missing was Scotty against his side. McCoy let out a satisfied sigh and opened the book.

So engrossed in the story was he, that he didn’t realize anyone else had come near until a footstep struck the gazebo floor. Startled from his book, he looked up and saw Jocelyn crossing towards him. Inside he frowned, but outside he forced a smile.

“It’s nice out here,” she said.

“Yes.”

“Though the air is almost too sweet,” she said, wrinkling her nose slightly.

“Most of the fruit has been picked and sent to town already,” McCoy replied. What did she want? Had she been searching for him or had she come across him by accident?

“The Queen had some sent to us earlier in the summer.”

McCoy nodded. He glanced back down at his book. He really didn’t want to make conversation. He swallowed hard to maintain his composure as she sat down next to him. Too close to him, he thought.

“What are you reading?”

He held the front cover up for her to read the title.

“Is it good?”

“One of my favorites.”

“Hmm.”

McCoy glanced over from the corner of his eye, but Jocelyn was looking down at the open book in his hands. Was she reading the page? He couldn’t be sure. He turned his eyes back to the book. A few moments passed in silence.

“You’ve grown since the last time we were here,” Jocelyn said suddenly. “You’re almost taller than the king now.”

McCoy looked up. He didn’t quite know what to say so he nodded.

“You’re much more handsome than when we were kids.”

McCoy knew his eyes had widened. What the hell was Jocelyn doing?

“And… you’re going to need a queen.” Her hand rose and cupped the side of his face. McCoy froze. Before he could do anything but blink in surprise Jocelyn’s lips touched his.

The book dropped from McCoy’s lap to the ground as his hands reached up finally to shove Jocelyn away from him.

“What the hell…?” he yelled.

“What?” Jocelyn looked at him with wide, innocent eyes.

“What the hell are you playing at? I- I have a boyfriend!”

“Who? That poor nobody you met at school?” Jocelyn asked. She waved a hand dismissively. “Leonard be real. You’ll be king someday and you’ll need a queen. I’m willing to be that for you.” She smiled warmly at him, and ran her fingers across his arm.

McCoy jumped to his feet away from her. His face was red and his body was shaking with rage.

“Scotty isn’t nobody!” he said coldly. “He’s a better person than you’ll ever be!” He bent down to grab the book, then turned and walked away as fast as he could for the palace, anger churning with every step.

Part 312

Scotty

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Higgins."

Scotty and his grandfather greeted the neighbor in a friendly manner. After lunch, they had first taken a walk and then ended up in front of the lady's house.

"Mr. Scott..."

Mrs. Higgins looked first at Alasdair Scott before her eyes fell on the young man standing slightly behind his grandfather.

"Oh my goodness! Is that wee Montgomery? I haven't seen ye in ages. Ye've grown quite tall. And bonnie."

Mrs. Higgins beamed to both cheeks as she graciously invited the two guests into the house.

They were ushered into the living room, and the landlady chatted blithely on.

"The last time I saw ye, ye were still scouting. Ye always helped me so much around the house."

In fact, Scotty had been a Boy Scout until he was 12 years old. What could he say? He had just always liked to be helpful. And he hadn't complained about the nice little rewards in form of candy either.

"Why don't ye sit down? Would you like some tea?"

"I'd love some," Grandfather said, and Scotty nodded in agreement.

The two took a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace and Scotty looked around. Little had changed in the apartment since he had left Scotland to go to boarding school.

Mrs. Higgins remained true to her old-fashioned style. But that's what Scotty liked about the house.

"Is it all right if I let Flora into the living room? She's just outside," Mrs. Higgins asked as she returned with a tray. Cookies and tea were placed on it.

"Aye," both visitors replied, and a moment later a medium-sized Shetland Sheepdog charged into the room.

The dog ran purposefully toward the Scotts and wagged her tail delightedly, jumping up and down.

Scotty sat down on the floor on his knees and petted Flora extensively.

"Hey lassie," he greeted her.

Scotty really liked dogs. Ever since he was a kid, he had wanted a pet, but it had just never worked out.

"Sorry about that. She's been more rambunctious than usual lately."

But Scotty just shook his head while the dog licked him across the face.

"That's all right. She's just happy."

"And we're here for her, too."

Mrs. Higgins looked in surprise at Scotty's grandfather.

"Oh? I hope she hasn't done anything wrong, has she? Did I miss some poop in yer front yard?"

Scotty sat back on the couch to grab his cup of tea that Mrs. Higgins had poured for him.

"No, not at all. I...wanted to ask if all the puppies had been placed yet," Granddad came out with his request and Mrs. Higgins looked quite surprised at first.

"No, not yet. I don't know how many there will be yet. But...are ye interested?"

Alasdair Scott nodded.

"Francine has wanted a dog for a long time and... I figured I'm ready now, too."

Mrs. Higgins' eyes sparkled with delight.

"Oh, how nice! Of course, I can reserve one of the puppies for Francine and ye. But...they're not purebred puppies."

Scotty motioned with a wave of his hand.

"I don't think it matters. Every dog, purebred or not, deserves a warm home and people who love them."

Scotty almost had to laugh when the thought of his relationship with Leonard occurred to him.

A blue-blooded prince who loved a stray like him.

But that was the way it was. Social status didn't matter when it came to feelings. Even if some people might think so.

"I'm glad to hear that! Really!"

Scotty could see how happy and relieved Mrs. Higgins looked. Maybe she had been afraid she wouldn't be able to find people who’d adopt mixed-breed puppies.

After talking for quite a while, Scotty and his grandfather had returned home.

Neither Jim and Robbie nor Francine were there, and Granddad took his leave for his workshop.

So Scotty decided that he could try to call Leonard. He was anxious to tell him the news and ask how his boyfriend was doing. Hopefully everything was okay with him.

[queirdfiction]

Reflecting

This summer marks the year anniversary of my huge-to-me reading slump. For the past several years, I’ve read at a much higher rate than the second half of 2023 and first half of 2024—an average of 7 books per month in the first half of 2023, 8 1/2 books per month in 2022, 11 books per month in 2021, and 7 books per month in 2020. For the past year, I’ve been reading around 3 books a month, if that, including some stretches where I read like a fiend for a week or two (like my week of vacation at the beginning of January, when I read the first 10 Percy Jackson books with an intense hyperfixation, and then immediately failed to finish another book for weeks after I decided, okay, that’s enough Percy Jackson, let’s try reading a different book).

3 books a month isn’t shabby; I know it’s a lot more than a lot of people are able to read. I don’t mean to share the amount I was reading before in order to brag, but to illustrate how, even though 3 books a month is still a good, solid amount of reading, it suddenly felt to me as if I was barely reading at all. I used to read 3-5 books every month just for various book clubs, and now it feels like I barely make it to book club. I like to tag the books I think will be on my favorites of the year list, and the last time I read a book I felt that passionately about was January. How can I go from having to make tough choices just to make a Top 10 list to having one, maybe two books so far this year that I really loved?

I think part of the reason this reading “slump”—perhaps more accurately described as “period of reading a relatively normal amount for a working adult, though comparatively less than the frenetic amount of the past”—is that for a long time, being a big reader was a part of my identity. Horror and weird fiction was my special interest; I read widely, and I talked about it extensively on the internet in places other than this blog (I made this blog about a year ago or so, when I was trying to regain my footing in this interest). Since 2019, I had thrown myself into this interest, and perhaps most importantly, other people with the same interest formed most of my social circle.

And then, first in 2022 and then again with a different incident in 2023, that social circle started fracturing. A lot of friends pulled back, and left the place we had built together, and then in 2023 abuse allegations arose concerning a prominent member. And that’s life; not everyone you meet and befriend will turn out to be a good person, and it’s inevitable that friend groups will break apart and move on with their lives. But for me, I lost all motivation to read or engage, which contrasted sharply with the fact that I had been taking on more responsibilities and didn’t feel able to step back from them since everyone else had already stepped away from theirs.

The loss of a special interest is difficult to describe. @emhahee on TikTok spoke about it at some point with regard to Harry Potter, I think, though I can’t find the video now. I was in a highly depressive state for most of last summer, until around August when I decided to read One Piece. And now, yay, new special interest to add to the mix—! but at the same time, I miss horror and weird fiction. So now I feel like I’m just trying to get back to it, and to reading in general, in a sustainable way. Some way that doesn’t put so many demands on me that I burn out.

To that end, I made myself a reading Bingo board for the summer, to hearken back to the Summer Reading Challenges of yore. I really enjoyed it, and I’m going to do it again for fall—it was nice to have my short term goals listed out, and small rewards on the way. I would like to talk about books a bit on this blog, but not in any really serious capacity; no ARCs or regular posting or anything like that. Just pure yapping.

Will I ever get back to how much I read before? Perhaps, perhaps not. Am I really at peace with the reading “slump”? No, not particularly. But it is time, at least, to move forward.

[ruminate88]

”Victim Mentality”???? 🥴❤️‍🩹

I often downplay my own experiences because most of it was by total strangers on the internet. No one physically touched me but ok, abuse of any kind is still abuse…

After my last relationship with my ex Andrew, I was beyond confused and hurt!!! I could not explain what happened. The breakup was so confusing because I’m the one who did it, yet Andrew treated me as if he’s the one who did it… I still very much loved him but only broke up with him becuase I had proof he was cheating AND he refused to say “he loved me” but he won’t break up 🥴😣💀 Sir, you don’t date someone you do NOT love… that’s just common sense. (I didn’t realize he didn’t wanna be the bad guy plus didn’t wanna lose his toy and motherly figure) He showed zero emotions when we broke up. I had no idea that’s a coping mechanism 😣 I just assumed he didn’t care about me AT ALL.

Annnnywaaaaay, I walked away like “WTH??? HES SO WEIRD!!!!” But I loved the version of him that I originally called “my boyfriend” there just so much fog and I’d go on his Facebook and he seemed normal but his actions didn’t match his words. I move on… I marry someone else. I can’t stop thinking of Andrew and it doesn’t take long at all before I feel totally disconnected from my new relationship. 🥺😔💔 I blame him…. My new man didn’t wanna go certain places with me after we got married even though he was going when we dated. That triggered me soo hard but I had no idea I was being “triggered” that word wasn’t even in my vocabulary 😝😝😝 I felt so distant from my new man and I’ve had to just go with the flow of it all. Just be in the motions. I told my mom there was a “disconnect” between my new man and me… she’s even questioned “why are you striving so much in your marriage” 😣

Whenever I first learned about emotional abuse, I right away started putting pieces of my past together. Took me almost a whole year just watching these videos on emotional abuse, feeling like I hopped in a loop and couldn’t escape!! I sometimes had to shut down all social media because it was draining and depressing.

I NEVER saw myself as a “victim” when I broke up with Andrew. I was just confused and frustrated. I just wanted the nightmare to end with him. He was hurting me over and over… I cried all summer over Andrew. Yet, it didn’t all just “go away”. The pain stayed, the confusion stayed and by 2020, my stomach suddenly has all these issues. I lose so much weight. I realize how much hair I’ve lost. My eyes slowly start to open to the truth.

Not quite a whole year after I even learned what emotional abuse is, I started this blog so I could find a private place to talk about all of it. Suddenly I’m on this weird and crazy “healing journey” and it’s bizarre 🤡🤡 It’s like I can’t get out of it and EVERYWHERE I read, it allllll says “HEALING…TAKES…TIME”!! 😓😓😓😓 ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I constantly feel guilty like “well, no one actually touched me. Just cuz they used my naked photos and manipulated me.” 😣💀 I take accountability that I was immature and naive. I am the one who willingly sent my photos. I engaged in toxic relationships on my own will. I was lonely and motherly becuase I had been the family caretaker. It didn’t shake me to treat Andrew like a baby at times. He often acted like a 10 year old boy with me and it did not weird me or bother me. It bothered all of my online girlfriends and they would question me, “Why do you like this immature little boy anyway??” 🥴🥺 Andrew was too young for me to start with but I mean, I was the family mother. I mothered everyone around me so Andrew was just thrown into the mix. He just sorta fit into my daily life. It didn’t phase me. I saw nothing wrong until he started disappearing a lot and ignoring me days; leaving my messages on delivered. That’s when I started to realize that he’s hiding stuff and yet when I would express my feelings/sadness to Andrew, he acted scared and upset at me. I would mention “breaking up” and sometimes he would turn into a baby having a tantrum yet, asking me, “why do you feel this way?? I don’t wanna break up!!” BUT on his social media, he seemed like he’s extremely successful, popular at his college with his university staff and his peers. Always posing with “beautiful girls”. Was so weird and frustrating for me. He was two different personalities!!!!! How someone can get mad when I mention breaking up but he clearly looks like he’s cheating his brains out. Why are you always surrounding yourself with all these beautiful girls but calling me “babe”??!! Yet most of our conversations surrounded sex. Just sometimes he opened up and let me know him closer. It was rare though. I see all these videos about “not staying in a victim mentality” but these videos irritate me. I just ignore them. I never saw any of this before. Never saw “emotional abuse”. Never believed I was abused even though I was so confused and disconnected. There’s been many other issues that I just lately learned is impacts from the abuse. Stuff that was weird like “being super hot or cold.”, “Constant bumping into stuff and always being covered in bruises.”, “hormonal changes”. Sooooo many weird things happening that I couldn’t explain 😳😳😳😳 it Alllllllll adds up and makes sense.

These past couple of months, I’ve had little to no energy. There is another factor adding to it but every where I have read or watched videos on the abuse, they ALL say you need so much rest. Idk…. Sometimes I ask myself “Is this all so crazy???? Am I dramatic or crazy!??” I’ve also went through a season where I asked “was I the toxic and abusive one”??? I’ve went back and forward blaming them and myself. Moments I’m angry but then quickly defuse myself becuase it’s in the past and they can’t undo what they’ve done. So it’s hard to stay “mad” but I’m constantly “sad” over them. I have this “longing” over Andrew that doesn’t go away… ever. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I’m trying to figure a way through it all. Through the emotional barriers and over this wall blocking me.

[beewritesposts]

i remember when we were in middle school and i watched you sing. i had never been to a concert yet, but i thought you were the most talented performer i had ever seen.

i remember when i was old enough to join band. you played the drums and i played piano. you would make stupid jokes while we practiced our songs. i hated being distracted but i always stopped to laugh at you.

i remember when i got to high school and suddenly everyone seemed so much meaner to me. you were already friends with them, but you were never mean to me.

i remember watching the mean girls fawn over you. it made my stomach hurt, but i didn’t know why. you paid more attention to them than you did to me. i was nothing and you were unobtainable.

i remember when we went on a summer trip together with band. everyone felt closer together than i did with any of them. i felt so alone until we sat in that room together talking about our lives. for the first time, you made me feel seen like i so badly wanted.

i remember when we both got casted in the school play that winter. we spent almost every day after school together on the same stage. i snuck glances at you while you said your lines in rehearsal. i wonder if you glanced at me too.

i remember when we did soundcheck at the festival theatre. we were backstage waiting for our queue. i was perched on a stool like a bird, frail and nervous. you leaned in and kissed me and suddenly it felt like it wasn’t all in my head. when our queue came i could barely get my lines out.

i remember when we sat together on the couch while we watched that movie with the troupe. you placed your hand on my knee under the blanket, more gently than i had ever been touched before.

i remember when we went on our first drive together. those were the only dates we ever had. we would park at the beach and kiss with the headlights off. now that i look back, i fear it’s because you didn’t want to be seen with me by your friends.

i remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend. you introduced me to your real friends — not the guys on the sports team who you wanted to hide me from. i convinced myself that was enough because it was more than i had been loved before.

i remember when i realized you were losing interest in me. we had barely been together officially at all, but i had wanted you for years. it destroyed me inside, but i knew i had to let you go.

i remember when i became interesting to you again. we agreed to continue our drives without a label this time. hidden kisses in the dark were enough for me if it meant i got to have some part of you.

i remember when you graduated. you asked my best friend’s sister to be your date to the prom and i bought a new dress and heels to wear as i watched you from the sidelines. i hope you liked the dress.

i remember when i moved out of that town. it had been two years since we last saw each other. i downloaded the dating apps, but i told myself i didn’t want to be in a relationship. maybe it’s because i knew you would always have too much of my heart.

i remember when we matched on a dating app. i was too nervous, so my roommate took my phone and swiped right on you. we started talking again and it felt like climbing into my bed in my childhood home.

i remember when we went for our first drive in two years. i was too scared to look at you. after all those years you still made me nervous. you kissed me at a red light and it felt like we had never been apart at all.

i remember when you told me you wanted a relationship. i thought back to how i told myself i didn’t want to date anyone. at the time, i thought it was because i wasn’t over you, but the thought of being with you made me even more afraid. they say if you love it, let it go, and if it’s meant to be yours it will come back. you came back like i had hoped, but i still wasn’t convinced that you were meant to be mine, so we stopped talking.

i remember when i saw you with your new girlfriend for the first time. you said hi to me in the mall. you sounded angry, like you resented me for being too afraid to take a second chance with you. i said hi back and walked away. i’ve barely went to the mall since then.

i wonder if you still remember these things. i wonder if you still remember me. i wonder if you see me when you look at her, or if you think of me when you can’t sleep at night. i wonder if i haunt your dreams like you haunt mine. worst of all, i wonder if you’ve forgotten me completely.

[undergradinlife]

September 19th

Hey James,

Do you remember when we were younger? We never lived very close so we would call each other and have recap sessions where we talked about the people as if they were characters in a TV show. We made bets on who would last through each "season". Well, the last season of my life has been a high point for me. I still haven't caught you up, but I met some of the most important people of my life recently, and I wish you could've been there to see it. In March, my life started again, which is right after I met Will.

Will was ten years older than me. I’d never drank much, especially not during my relationship, but he did. I met Will in February when I started my new job. He was the first person I felt comfortable actually talking to, and I looked forward to seeing him every night  when I showed up to work. Will’s smile was contagious, and there wasn’t one girl at my work who didn’t have a crush on him. In the beginning, he chose me. Nothing ever happened, but we would joke around, flirt, and talk throughout every shift. The first night that I went out for drinks with people was in early March, before I’d gotten my first paycheck. After every invite, I would give a maybe and then go home. One night I was visibly upset, probably about something Daniel had said or done, and Will told me that I was going out with him that night and I couldn't say no. I told him that my first paycheck hasn't come in and he told me not to worry, just one drink and he’d pay. After four drinks and three tacos he’d bought me, he drove me home. I was drunker and happier than I’d ever been, and even now I think of it as one of the best nights. This began a series of nights out, drinking with Will and our coworkers, where he would drive me home as the bar closed every time. Once we got to my apartment, we would talk for hours until eventually deciding to get food together. I usually got home at 5am and fell asleep with a smile on my face and a full heart.

This was fleeting, and eventually he stopped driving me home, stopped sitting with me when everyone went out, and finally, after a while, stopped treating me like I was special at work. This was the first heartbreak I’d faced after leaving Dan, and it hurt more than I could deal with. I stopped going out again around May, and my life was suddenly very small again. It was only two weeks ago now that everything fell apart, the last time I saw Will. But that's not important right now, not yet.

As July began, I started hanging out with another fleeting love I’d have named Nora. After I stopped going out in May, I got used to my routine. I was mostly unhappy and very lonely, but I was familiar with everything in my life and that was enough. On July 8th, this changed and the rest of my summer became a fever dream. Nora had invited me out a few times before, but I’d always said no for one reason or another, because I didn’t want to go to the bar that everyone else at work would go to. Nora told me that we were going somewhere else and i could meet all her friends, so I became excited and said we would. Lots of drinks and lots of dancing later, I was happy again. I found out that night that Nora did cocaine, but I was just happy to be out and have people who wanted to be around me so I didn’t care. As long as I stayed away from it I was fine, and that’s what I did. She told me that the afterparty was at her friend's house, but I’d promised Dan that I’d see him later that night said I couldn’t. When Dan found out that some of the people we hung out with that night were men, he told me that I wasn’t allowed to go out again. I told him that we weren’t dating and it didn’t matter what he thought, and we got into a screaming match that night on the street. This was the night that I let him know we were over for good. 

The rest of the summer, I hung out with Nora almost every single night, no matter what day of the week it was. We went to house parties, bars, and clubs. We drank a lot. When we finally decided on a few key spots we liked to grab drinks, I decided that I would drive us home. This was not something that I’m proud of, but I never had more than two drinks over the span of 4 hours if I was doing this, so I justified it to myself. Will used to always drive me home after drinks. Nora was friends with Will before I'd known either of them. Everyone was friends with Will, how could you not be? Will quit his job on July 29th and I still thought about him all the time. I was happy, and I was becoming a much more open person than I'd ever been. This was all leading up to two weeks ago, the high point of my life, but I wasn't there yet. There's still some more catching up to do.

This was the best summer of my life- crazy, fast paced, and full of music and drinks with friends. We could've had summers like this. When we were younger we would go to the beach and do karaoke at the local bars. We would run around as the sun set and stay up until the sky was so dark you could see all the stars. Nora reminded me of that, but she was fast and crazy and couldn't be slowed down. Sometimes, at the end of the night I'd go outside and stare at the stars for a moment, wondering where you went and if you'd be happy for me.

Staring at the stars tonight,

undergradinlife