#sicce

[skiplo-wave]

Oh he’s a kingdom hearts stanny

[sicc-nasti]

Rapunzel type tower situation but the tower is a giant mimic and hunts in the way a pitcher plant does. Yes, fair knight. Climb up this conveniently long hair, follow the sweet smell, pull yourself up and over the window sill and fall in to the far below.

[tf2occontest]

The Courier VS Armani & Marcel, The Decoys VS The Therapist

(Final round! No match-up list here)

Alright team, here's a recap: This is a contest to determine who amongst you will take the top of the leaderboard and be hired at TFI! Simply put, whoever gets the most votes wins the contest, and whoever doesn't... Well. They'll be put down swiftly and cleanly. :}

So, mann your stations, because here are your FINAL contestants! Vote for your favorite mercenary who you want to win the TF2 OC Contest! - P

OC INFO UNDER THE CUT!

We highly encourage you to take a peek to make your decision!

The Courier

@sicc-nasti

Image credit: @/sicc-nasti

Do you like receiving your mail on time and your packages in pristine condition - untouched by curious hands and peeping eyes? Do you love when your woefully embarrassing love letters filled with poetry from your soul are delivered with the utmost care and secrecy? Does it fill you with glee when your special snacks you ordered overseas finally make its way into your hands and not a SINGLE piece is missing?

If you said yes to any of these questions then WOW do I NOT have the guy for you!!!!

Instead-

TFI presents you something you didn't know was possible OR legal - weaponized postal services!

Meet your 10th Class-

The Courier!

By intercepting and opening someone else's mail, an individual can gain access to confidential information that can be used for identity theft, fraud, or other illegal activities. And we wouldn’t want that, now would we? That's why our solution to this simple problem is bringing the mail to the battlefield! Courier is equipped with MANN CO approved disposable stackable mail crates for your climbing or shielding needs. Just think of how nice it would be to build a tower to do taunts on or have cover from that enemy Heavy's hail of bullets. Sure it's clunky but nothing shreds paper faster than a bullet - that's science tested and math approved by TFI scientists! And monkeys!

Courier is THE MANN for the job.

If that ain't enough to catch your attention, let's take a peek at the men behind the uniform.

RED’s Courier is a Puerto Rican ex-felon hailing from the greatest place on earth! New York City! With an insatiable appetite for all things fraud, deli meats, and violence - what more could you ask from a guy?

BLU's Courier is a Puerto Rican-Italian ex-con plucked from the greatest place on earth! Jersey City! With an insatiable appetite for all things smuggling, deli meats, and violence - what more could you ask from a guy?

Not enough for a vote?

Well, listen, I'm not above bribery. If you vote for them, Courier promises to not read your mail for like a week and INSTEAD- will write you up a totally not fraudulent marriage certificate to any merc you want!! Just think! Finally legally married to Heavy! Or Engie! How’s that sound for incentive, boss?

THROUGH RAIN, SHINE, BULLET HAIL OR SNOW, THEY’RE YOUR COURIER.

VOTE FOR COURIER IN THIS UPCOMING TF2 OC CONTEST

Maybe there’ll be enough in the budget for a third one!

Armani & Marcel, The Decoys

@friendlyengie

Image credit: @/friendlyengie

When your job description is to be as obnoxious as possible, obviously you’re going to send in a clown! Armani is a Decoy, which means his purpose is to get on the field and draw as much attention to himself as possible. Sure, it probably means he gets killed frequently, but isn’t that half the fun?

Personally, Armani is rough and over the (big)top. He’s Italian, too. If that helps. If it doesn’t ignore that part. He’s got the flowery language exaggerated expressions of a performer and absolutely none of the social tact. He’s loud and in your face and simply does not care! Take him or leave him, baby! (Please take him.)

Marcel is just a guy. A little man. His mime-specific approach to the decoy class means he’s a lot less loud shouting and japes, and a lot more inconvenient tricks and hiding where you just can’t see him. He saves his breath unless he has the chance to be really funny. As a person, Marcel is eccentric and expressive. Cartoonishly so. A man of few words, since said words can only be spoken when he pulls the string on his back, he normally conveys his thoughts through actions instead. He’s annoying, and he wants you to know that specifically. He’s charming enough that he can make people forget how obnoxious he is just long enough for whatever stunt he pulls next to come out of nowhere. Ain’t he just so charming?

The Therapist

@hazardtoons

Image credit: @/hazardtoons

You wouldn’t expect an organisation like Team Fortress Industries to invest in something like mental health treatment for its hardened soldiers. The one giving them this generous care is a woman only known by those who work at the company as Therapist - a seemingly well-intentioned lady there to give everything from a shoulder to cry on to someone to seek advice from.

There is a catch, however. Not all the information she gathers from her clients is used for good. Underlying that comforting presence is another tool of oppression used in the company.

[ca-dmv-bot]

Customer: SICK AND FUN! AS IN VERY COOL! AND FUN! DMV: SICK AS FUCK Verdict: DENIED

[hawker-the-gary]

It's back...

[shrews-art]

Nem egészen itt | Not quite present - on dissociating

Oil on canvas, 90 x 70 cm

[strawberry-muffin-crisis]

I hate you menthol cough drops

I don't WANT my throat to feel like Arctic Wonder I want it to feel like Warm Soothed Honey. Not Icy Hatred Lemon

@ominouspositivity-or-else

[rentumblsstuff]

No cause the way in the NMT2 universe, Ruth and Richie would come back to school after the summer to finally see their best friend Pete and HE’S WALKING HAND IN FUCKING HAND WITH STEPHANIE LAUTER AND SHE’S PRACTICALLY ALL OVER HIM. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED. Pete would be like “oh we started talking at camp! 😊 we’re dating now🥰🥰” and Steph is like “He’s such a rebel lowkey😁” and they’re like Are We Talking About The Same Bitch RN???

[softblesses]

Aussie in Denial.

Characters: R/obert C/hase, F/oreman, C/ameron, H/ouse & W/ilson.

Word Count: 4k.

CW: snz, general illness.

Part 1/2. Enjoy! :)

Chase stepped inside the hospital doors, thankful to be out of the rain. So much for the seasons changing and Spring finally being around the corner… it was days like this that he missed the warmth back home. It had seemed dry and not too cloudy when he left, but halfway across the parking lot and the heavens had literally opened. 

He pushed his dampened bangs from his eyes, calling the elevator button and scrunching his nose. A shiver caused his body to jolt slightly, moments before the elevator doors opened and he stepped inside. He wasn’t too early, but the room upstairs was empty when he walked in… weird. Maybe he would have had time to get something warm to drink after all, yet before he could have second thoughts about turning around to do just that, both Foreman and Cameron walked in. 

“Didn’t bring an umbrella?” Cameron teased as a greeting, noting her colleague’s wet hair and damp jacket, the man was now shrugging off to replace it with his lab coat. 

Chase was about to retort when a sudden sensation in the back of his sinuses took over. He turned, lab coat still draped over his forearm, and stifled three quiet sneezes against his wrist. ‘n’ggtt, he’chmPpt!, kxXxcht.’ Giving a little shake as if to reboot himself afterwards, turning back again with a couple of sharp sniffles. 

“Bless you,” Cameron’s eyebrows raised, whilst Chase forgot all about the retort and simply pulled on his white coat. 

The trio took their seats around the table, awaiting House’s arrival by taking a look through the case files that were already on the table. Chase shrugged his white coat on, tugging it tight around himself with a shiver. He was freezing, and he definitely hated American winters. He pressed a knuckle against his septum whilst trying to read, hoping to stave off the itchiness that was making its way through his sinuses. He sniffled a few times, the chill from the rain not wanting to go away. 

As if the universe hated him, Chase couldn’t hold the need to sneeze any longer, just as his Boss limp-waltzed in through the door. He pressed his lab coat sleeve against his face, stifling two more sneezes. 

‘HhU’mppPchH, h’eiIi’cHhhH.’ Exhaling shakily afterwards, and sniffling as he slowly removed his arm. 

“Is that an Australian greeting?” House quipped, taking a seat and making a point to move his chair far from Chase’s. 

“Bless you,” Cameron whispered, “you okay?”

“Yeah, just… It’s really cold outside.” He shrugged it off, hoping she’d leave it there and stop asking questions. 

He managed to get through the majority of the differential with only a few well-timed sniffles, a couple of teasing remarks from House and no (thank God) more comments about his health. 

“Cameron, take Sniffles to the patient’s apartment and look for anything environmental that could be causing her symptoms. Foreman will do the big boy jobs today.” House waved his cane in the direction of each employee he was talking about, and Chase stood up, ignoring the slight heat on his cheeks. 

“You know,” Cameron began, as they made their way to the elevator, “it’s okay to admit if you don’t feel well.”

“Okay,” Chase answered, pressing the elevator button with his knuckle, “and that would be relevant to me if I didn’t feel well. I’m Australian, I despise this weather, and so does my nose.” He sniffles, as if to prove a point. 

“Alright, well… soon we’ll be in my car and I’ll make sure the heater is on.”

Chase smiled a little as the elevator doors came to a close, “Thank you.” He murmured. 

•••

“The sun’s coming back out!” Cameron’s attempt to cheer up the grumpy Aussie wasn’t working, and at the moment, she was putting it mostly down to the weather outside, just like he’d said himself. Yet, by now he’d had plenty of time to warm up now and blow his nose, yet he was still sniffling every now and then, and clearing his throat after he spoke. 

“You quit medicine and became a weather forecaster?” The blonde quipped, unbuckling his seatbelt as they parked up by the curb. 

“What’s got you so upset this morning? It can’t just be the —“

‘Hei’mMpchh!’ Another stifled sneeze against the back of his wrist, and Chase scrubbed at his nose to prevent the second one from threatening to escape afterwards. 

“Oh. You’re sick. I get it now.” She smirked a little smugly, stepping out of the car. 

‘HHHhh’aAnn’tchu! Ugh. Fuck.’

“I’m not sick.” He eventually answered matter-of-factly, slamming the car door behind him and following her up to the house. People can sneeze and not be sick. That was a thing. 

As she looked around for a key, Chase swiped at his nose with one of the tissues he’d stuffed in his pocket before they left. He wasn’t wearing a jacket since his was still drying back at the hospital, and Cameron noticed him shiver in her peripherals. 

“Well, you’re gonna get sick dressed in just a shirt and sweater vest. Your jacket wasn’t dry enough?”

“Excuse me for not wanting to put on damp clothes.” He sniffed, scrunching his nose. 

She giggled, going back to her search a moment after. 

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

“No, seriously, what is it? My plight funny to you, or something?”

“Nothing, it’s just — ha! — You act like a golden retriever sometimes. Or, maybe a bunny, with the little nose scrunches.” Cameron grins, holding up the key she’d found mid-sentence. 

Chase just huffed in response, waiting for her to unlock the door. “Very funny.” He muttered, following in after her. 

The pair took separate rooms to look around in, not coming up with much in the hour or so that they spent there. All they really found out was that the patient liked to read gossip magazines (like, a lot of them), scented candles, and sometimes took aspirin for what she’d already admitted was for migraines. 

“C’mon, let’s just get what we have back to the lab.” Cameron sighed, carrying a few clear bags of some food samples and some of the candle wax in case the patient had some sort of allergy to the brand she was using. 

Chase coughed slightly, struggling to take off his gloves as they walked toward the front door together. 

‘Hhh’huu’ishhHoo! Ugh. Hh’mptkkch.’ He held his gloved hand over his face, managing to suppress the last one to be quieter than the first. Not that it was even loud. 

“Bless you!” Cameron called out, now a little further ahead of him and waiting halfway down the pathway. 

Once he locked up the house and caught up with her, Chase could practically feel her stare burning into him. He was fine, and yet Cameron’s entire personality was built upon worrying about people. 

He sniffled as they got into the car, unable to clear his sinuses still. It was driving him crazy, and he was aware just how frustrating somebody constantly sniffling could be.  

“Sorry,” Chase muttered, buckling himself in. “You got any tissues?” 

“Uh… yeah, in my purse on the back seat. One second.” She reached behind her, grabbing the bag and rooting around for a few seconds before handing him a little packet of travel tissues. “Here.” Her voice softened. 

“Cheers,” Chase muttered, feeling warmth creep up his neck and onto his cheeks. He wiped at his nose slightly, blowing it softly, before pocketing it in his trousers. 

The rest of the drive back was mostly quiet, as Cameron decided it was best to leave him be for now. He was clearly embarrassed by his affliction by some reason. Men were… strange creatures, and sometimes Chase was even worse. 

When they pulled into the parking lot, her mouth opened to say something, but upon glancing over to the passenger's seat, she noticed that Chase was asleep. He was asleep, snoring a little, with his forehead against the window and a small circle of condensation forming where he was breathing through his mouth. 

“Chase?” Cameron whispered, despite not wanting to wake him; House wouldn’t be pleased if he found out they were back late because Chase needed a nap. “Chase, wake up, we’re here.” She reached out to gently shake his shoulder, and he startled awake with a sharp intake of breath. 

He rubbed a hand across his face and straightened, rolling his neck. “I didn’t sleep great last night,” he murmured, watching as she stared at him. 

“Sure,” Cameron smiled slightly, moving to get out of the car. 

Chase hurried after her, a frown on his face now. “What, you don’t believe me? You still trying to diagnose me with the plague?” 

“The common cold is hardly the plague.” She rolled her eyes. “Let’s just get this stuff to the lab and bicker about your immune system after.”

•••

Cameron was quiet as she focused on the monitors in front of her, scanning the patient’s imaging results for any sign of something wrong while they were being scanned. Chase was beside her, just as quiet, if you didn’t account for the intermittent sniffles. 

They had tested everything from the patient’s house and come up empty, and were now running some other tests for House. 

“I’m no doctor or anything, but I think that the rain did more than stuff your nose this morning. You sound like you’re coming down with a cold.” She murmured, gaze still focused on the screens. 

“You said that. Maybe I’m just allergic to the copious amount of candles the lady has.” He shrugged, keeping his own gaze on the screens. 

“Her scans look clean,” Cameron went back to the topic of the task at hand, before looking over at Chase again. His nose was pink, and his cheeks were starting to flush. She wondered if he had a fever. 

“Mandy, could you hold still? Just a little longer. You’re almost —“ 

‘Hhh’akkiShUu,’

“What was that?”

“That was —“

‘Tt’shiew!’

“… Doctor Chase sneezing. Sorry.” Cameron sighed, pressing her finger on the microphone button again to finally respond.  

“Oh. Bless you. Is he okay?”

“He’s being stubborn, but he’ll live. I’ll come get you out of there now.” Cameron smiled, shaking her head as she stood up. 

The team regrouped in the diagnostics room after the patient was back in her room, most of the members also eating lunch whilst discussing. House wasn’t back yet, most likely stealing Wilson’s lunch in the cafeteria. Foreman and Cameron bounced ideas off of each other, while Chase stared at the mug of tea in front of him. 

“Is he going to admit he’s sick, or is someone gonna have to drag him to a cab and send him home?” Foreman stopped writing on the whiteboard, looking over at their colleague with raised eyebrows. 

“I’m fine,” Chase snapped, picking up the mug to take a sip. His voice was noticeably congested now, cheeks pink and deep down he knew he couldn’t really hide it anymore. But, maybe if he told them to leave it again and again… they’d just drop it and be quiet. He could work through a cold, anyway. It really was no big deal. 

“You can’t even pronounce your m’s or n’s.” Foreman chuckled, his teasing put to a temporary stop as their boss walked into the room. 

He walked straight towards the door that led to the balcony and pushed it open. 

“Wouldn’t want any germs to fester in here, now, would we?” He limped back over to the whiteboard, briefly examining what his team had come up with whilst he was gone. 

“House, close the door,” Chase chimed in, wrapping his (now dry) jacket tighter around himself. 

“If I close the door, then where are all the icky, little germs going to go?” House pouted, looking in the other’s direction. 

“It’s just a cold, I’m sure you’ll live.”

“Oh, so you’ll admit you’re sick to House, but not us?”

“Nothing can be hidden from the God of diagnostics. He knows better.” House turned back to the board, ignoring the muffled coughs coming from behind him. 

“House, c’mon, he’s shivering.” Cameron’s voice of reason broke through, but her boss was intent on finishing their next round of discussions with the door wide open and the fresh air very present in the room. 

Chase didn’t say anything else on the matters, only added his opinion on the case, tried to suppress his shivers and clenched his jaw so that his teeth didn’t chatter. 

“Alright, God. I’m only shutting the door because I’m worried he’ll freeze, and then we’ll be a team member down. Then we’ll all be going home late and you’ll all be mad.” House huffed, pulling the door shut so hard that the slam caused Chase to jump in his seat. He really wasn’t with it today. 

He muttered a soft, “thanks,” another harsh shiver wracking his body and causing him to wince slightly in pain. 

“Foreman, go do the patient’s echo. McShivers, you should stay away from the patient — go with Cameron to the lab. After all, this  isn’t a cure one get another one free.” House pointed his cane in Chase’s direction, easily noting the hazy pre-sneeze gaze in the blue-eyed man. 

The colleagues walked together without saying a word, but Cameron knew Chase was frustrated. House was making fun of him every chance he got, and he wasn’t able to hide his symptoms well enough to go undetected. Not to mention, he probably felt lousy, despite insisting that he did not. 

Cameron held the door for him before going to fetch the blood samples House wanted them to start testing. Chase took a seat on the stool beside her, pulling on a pair of gloves. 

‘Hhh’chhxXmpt! — dammit — snff. Ha’eiiIshoo. Ow.” He rubbed his forehead with a gloved hand, sniffling for a few seconds. 

“Chase—“

“I have a cold, Cameron. It’s making me sneeze. I can still do my job.” He snapped before she had the chance to say anything, pulling off his gloves and walking away to wash his hands, despite having successfully caught both sneezes into his elbow. 

“I was just going to offer you some tissues, but okay, Mr. Defensive.” She smirked slightly, placing a travel packet where he was sitting, then going back to her tests. 

“Thank you…” He trailed off, looking a little sheepish and taking one of the tissues from the packet. (Then going to wash his hands again, after using it. At least he was hygienic.)

“You shouldn’t keep trying to hold them in,” Cameron continued nonchalantly, eyes focused in the microscope for now. 

“Huh?” 

“Your sneezes. You’ll hurt your head, which I assume is what’s already hurting. And your ears. Did you make them pop?” She hummed, leaning back. “Blood’s negative for parasites.”

“I’m fine. It’s… It’s just habit.” Chase shrugged, checking his notes to see what he needed to start testing for himself. “And, yeah. I have a headache. I’ll get over it.”

They spend an hour down in the lab testing things, some results come back right away, but others they’ll need to wait for. Chase comes and goes in and out of the room, leaning to use the bathroom a couple of times and to blow his nose. They waited for the results down in the lab, still — Cameron figured it was better than going upstairs and having House pick on Chase for longer. 

She watched out of the corner of her eye as her colleague spun on the stool he was sitting on, holding a tissue in one hand and a somewhat chewed pencil in the other. He was always moving; never wanting to be still.  

“I’m gonna go to the vending machine to get a drink, you wanna come?” Cameron wondered if it would be good for him to have something to do. 

It took him a moment to register the words, but he nodded, standing up and stretching both arms above his head. 

“Still tired?” Cameron hummed, walking toward the door. “I can grab you a coffee?”

“Yes—“ ‘heH’ddShhoo’ “— please.” ‘Heii’atShu. Ugh. Fuck. Snff. SNffF.” Chase rubbed incessantly at his nose, fishing another tissue from his lab coat pocket. His cheeks were tinted red from embarrassment. “Sorry… God.”

“Bless you,” Cameron said softly, giving his arm a little pat. “You don’t have to apologise. You’re sick. It’s not your fault.”

“It’s gross.”

“Not really,” she reasoned, “I mean, you and I have definitely seen worse.” The woman smiled, stopping now they were stood in front of the vending machine together. 

“Good point,” Chase scuffed his shoes along the floor, sniffling quietly. 

“One coffee,” Cameron smiled, holding it out to him. “Give me a second, we can sit down — the results won’t be done yet.” She got herself a vitamin drink, and then the pair took a seat on one of the couches in the hallway. 

Chase leaned back slightly against the wall, closing his eyes. Allowing himself a short moment of vulnerability beside Cameron, who thankfully, stayed quiet for the time being. He sipped slowly at his coffee, grateful for the soothing warmth that spread down his throat, and sighed. 

“Thanks for the coffee,” he muttered. 

“You’re only thanking me ‘cause you’re too stuffed up to taste how bad it is.” Cameron giggled slightly, and Chase smiled in response. 

[gunsatthaphan]

(´♡‿♡`)

[meet-the-courier]

Could I maybe get a list of the war crimes you have committed? So far pyro is winning the competition.

Brodie: "Besiiides - what Pyro does is his own business. I ain't touching that contest."

Transcript of drawing;

"War crimes? Boss, I've only ever committed Federal crimes. I'm innocent! What. You some kinda cop? I'll have to get Pyro's help."

Dont forget to vote for him in @tf2occontest dec 29th!

[tf2occontest]

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Poor Miss Pauling has been utterly overrun by wayward mercenary applications! We at Team Fortress Industries are pleased to announce a new contest for all of YOU original and creative people to thin the flock, prove YOUR worth to the battlefield and this company, and determine who amongst YOU is the best of the best*

This is a contest where you are encouraged to create, share, and fight to the death for the sake of your most prized character! Make art and writing for propaganda, tell us all about them, and face off against one another in a series of randomized polls narrowing down who will win the TF2 OC Contest of 2024!

A pinned post with all of the rules and the submission form for this contest will be following shortly. Be sure to follow this blog for more updates!

*(Not an actual indicator of who is the "best" -- this is meant to be a fun, low-stakes, community driven event.)

[petraspacerp]

*the vampire seems to be wandering away from you often, though her slowness makes it easy to catch up to her*

where are you going?

[rustedleopard]

I feel like if Chujin was still alive during the events of Undertale Yellow, his and Clover's relationship would be incredibly rocky. Pacifist!Clover could bring him around to tolerating them (after all, they have that sort of effect on everyone), but it would be more in a "this human is the only 'good' human" manner than a "maybe I should reevaluate my opinions on humans overall because you can't judge an entire group based off (very biased) stories and one bad experience." Even then, that opinion would be subject to change should Clover ever get frustrated or behave "too aggressively" or act in any manner that isn't perfectly docile. If Clover ends up attacking a monster then it's "humans are just as horrible as they were in the war stories, I should've known better" regardless of the circumstances that could've pushed Clover to fight. Suffocating expectations and endless demands for patience when he wouldn't ask the same of a fellow monster.

And heaven forbid he ever meet Clover on a No Mercy Run...