#sighhhh but i’ll try anyways

[psychojetcocktail]

the drawing idea i have in my head is almost impossible to achieve at my skill level

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

the fact that people are judged for their ships on the SHIPPING WEBSITE is the most hilarious and sad irony

[seventh-district]

.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Lmfaooo I know I already yapped my way into ur inbox earlier but. Sighhhh aroace reader has been on my mind again and I’m literally screaming clutching my torso rolling around on the floor crying thinking about it no joke <///333

I think that aroace reader + stsg comes with SO much comedic potential I physically cannot 😭😭 especially with reader who’s pretty much romance averse with satosugu (secretly) being their exception… like maybe shoko and utahime end up talking about their love lives and ask reader about THEIR love life and reader just deadpans “oh I don’t do romance. Doesn’t interest me” and satosugu (particular toru) are just like “….🙁ok but but but but but but-“ LMFAOO BUT THIS ALSO WORKS WITH READER WHOS COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF HOW STSG FEEL ABOUT THEM DESPITE IT BEING OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE ELSE???? imagine being with them out in public, being all affectionate n shit and then a cashier asks “oh are you guys dating? :)” and before either of them can get a word in ur just like “oh no, we’re just close friends haha!!! I know it looks like we do but none of us having feelings for each other at all haha!!!!” And they just look so fucking dejected like satorus shoulders slump and he puts on such a babyish pout…… and sugus just nodding and smiling along (he’s trying not to start screaming and crying on the floor) or maybe someone comes up to you and asks for your number before noticing suguru with his arm wrapped around your waist and satoru who’s got his arm around your shoulders and is looking at you like you hung the stars with your bare hands n the person is like “oh sorry I didn’t notice you guys are dating!!!” But reader is just like “huh?? No we’re not dating u can have my number!!” LMFAOOO I CAN SEE SATORU PULLING THIS FACE

They’re so funny I actually cannotttt 😭😭😭 another thing that’s been on my mind is that if sugu didn’t leave and stsg + reader sorted out their feelings for each other, they could all be teen parents to little Megumi ☹️☹️ satoru gets some money from his rich aah family (cause no way they aren’t rich cmon he was spoiled as a kid) and buys a nice apartment for you all, maybe somewhere by the sea… firm believer that suguru is the mother of all time like. He absolutely makes pancakes with syrup and blueberries and whatever else for u all in the morning……. U guys wake up early in the morning sometimes when it’s still a little dark with Megumi in his tiny little raincoat and take him out for walks by the beach….. collecting pretty rocks and seashells….. megumis dogs swimming in the ocean and satoru skipping stones while sugu reminds him not to go too close incase the tide comes in unexpectedly and he gets his shoes soaked…… I gotta stop myself now or else I’ll go on the lengthiest sugu rant you’ve ever seen but. You get the idea. Sugu being a caretaker mommy for one actual baby and one baby that’s actually a tall pouty bastard that’s so insufferably charming <//333 and you ofc!!! (His favourite baby) (joke he adores you all equally) (even if he lovingly pretends satoru is his least favourite)

HAAHHAAAAA I SERIOUSLY CANT STOP THINKING AB THEM I NEED HELP 😭😭😭 AS ALWAYS I HOPE UR DOING ALRIGHT N TAKING CARE OF URSELF!!! AND ARIIIII the merman sugu asks you’ve been getting have actually been making me laugh my ass off everytimeeeee 😭😭 sugu flopping around like a seal and hating all humans except reader is so fucking funny to me like he’s just straight up dissing the human race but just looks you dead in the eyes and says “but you’re one of the good ones” GOODBYEEEEE 💀💀💀 ANYWAYS HOW HAVE U BEEN???? UP TO ANYTHING INTERESTING??? :3 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤 gives u a flower + pancakes (sugu made them) u deserve it mwah mwah hope ur ok <333 🌷🥞

OLLIEEEEEE IT’S ALWAYS GREAT TO SEE U IN MY INBOX DW !!! we are yapping together 🫂🫂

PHDJDGDHDH THIS CONCEPT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME I HOPE U KNOW THAT 😭😭…. aroace!reader makes us all insane god bless. u are so REAL for mentioning the comedic potential bc it’s literally so beautiful….. i think i’m biased towards this option:

reader who’s pretty much romance averse with satosugu (secretly) being their exception… like maybe shoko and utahime end up talking about their love lives and ask reader about THEIR love life and reader just deadpans “oh I don’t do romance. Doesn’t interest me” and satosugu (particular toru) are just like “….🙁ok but but but but but but-“

IT’S JUST SOOOO FUNNY AND SWEET…. but i think stsg would also be so smug abt being reader’s exceptions 😭😭 losers. lovesick fools. utahime is just like… don’t you and those idiots have a thing 🤨🤨 and reader just goes well yeah but that’s different. they’re satoru and suguru. <- as if it’s just the most obvious thing in the world and stsg are sitting there all quiet and smug….. mentally squealing……… idk i just lovelovelove the idea of reader being very blunt with their emotions because they just don’t view romance in the same way others would and it flusters stsg Every Single Time. they used to always daydream abt being teasing bfs and making them flustered by acting all lovey-dovey but as it turns out they’re the ones who keep getting caught off guard by reader….

this is rlly just a random thought but. i’m just imagining them in the future, living together, not necessarily labelled in any way but they very much Love each other… suguru is smoking by the balcony late at night (he’s planning on quitting bc he doesn’t want to worry his babies <3) while satoru & reader are keeping him company… and reader just casually mentions that they want to live with stsg forever. that they’re happiest like that and don’t ever want it to end. and they’re just bluntly telling the truth but suguru and satoru are genuinely Losing It bc????? did we just get proposed to ????????? satoru is oddly quiet bc he’s trying to stop himself from blushing and suguru just clears his throat and tells reader that they feel the same way ….. but he’s not nearly as suave as usual bc he is in fact getting choked up LMAOO i love them sm they’re so silly ….. T—T

ok but back to ur lovely thoughts !!!! the idea of aroace!reader being oblivious is also rlly charming to me 😭😭 SATORU MAKING THAT FACE LMAO HE SOOO WOULD ……. i picture suguru just kinda twitching lol like he’s trying sooo hard to keep it together but a part of him kinda wants to kiss reader all over their pretty face so that they get the message. (jokes on him bc reader would somehow still assume that it was just … platonic kissing … just kissing the homies goodnight …..) sigh. it’s tough out here for stsg BUT i think they’d also be really endeared by it …… their oblivious lil reader….

AND WAHHHHH LIL BABY GUMI 🥺🥺🥺🥺 OLLIEEEE YOU’RE KILLING ME a nice house by the sea…….. taking walks by the beach…… and . mommy sugu ..,, our lord and saviour ……. makes u breakfast every morning and wakes u up by kissing u :(((( lets u cling to him while he cooks .. sighhhh. sigh sigh sigh. being a househusband could’ve fixed him idc 😔😔

Sugu being a caretaker mommy for one actual baby and one baby that’s actually a tall pouty bastard that’s so insufferably charming <//333 and you ofc!!! (His favourite baby) (joke he adores you all equally) (even if he lovingly pretends satoru is his least favourite)

AND THISSSS PLS u know the way to my heart….. caretaker mommy sugu 🥺🥺🥺 he would thrive off taking care of his babies like truly. he’s the Mother ever. and now he has one lil baby to Actually Mother and two overgrown babies to coddle and tease…… his dream life tbh. now i’m just imagining reader, toru & gumi waking sugu up on mother’s day to celebrate LMAOO they made a cake and everything….. he’s exasperated but secretly very touched :’3 maybe tears up a lil later when he’s looking at the world’s best mommy <3 cup u guys bought him LOL he’s such a sap …..

AND ARIIIII the merman sugu asks you’ve been getting have actually been making me laugh my ass off everytimeeeee 😭😭 sugu flopping around like a seal and hating all humans except reader is so fucking funny to me like he’s just straight up dissing the human race but just looks you dead in the eyes and says “but you’re one of the good ones” GOODBYEEEEE 💀💀💀

PHDJDJJD NO BECAUSE SAMEEEE i still have a couple more mer!sugu asks to get to actually… they’re all so great…… my anons have converted me fully into a mer!sugu stan and now i can’t stop thinking abt him 😭😭 HE’S SOOOO FUNNY U GET IT COMPLETELY LIKE …. he’s just a grumpy little seal man ……. ”you’re one of the good ones” NO BC LITERALLY!! THAT’S HOW HE FEELS…… reader is his emotional support human <33 he doesn’t like anyone else and WILL consider drowning anyone who gives them trouble but then reader gives him a Look and he’s like. sigh. 😒😒😒 you’re no fun. <-… he’s insane actually BUT WE LOVE HIM <33333 silly lil fishy !!

WAHHH URE SO SWEET OLLIE 😭😭🥺🥺 thank u for the flowers and sugu’s pancakes…….. i am munching on them gratefully…… here are some nice sunflowers 🌻🌻🌻 and croissants 🥐🥐🥐 for u <333 I’M DOING WELLL trying to catch up on asks + cooking up a lil sashisu/reader thingie.. 👀👀 i haven’t been able to post fics as regularly bc of uni but hopefully i can get it out by next weekend :33 and thennnn i think i’ll focus on mer!sugu…

ANYWAY WHAT ABT U ???? how have u been ?? tell me tell me 🎤🎤…… i hope it’s sunny wherever u are, here it’s still cold n gray T—T but spring will be with us soon … stay strong …….

[1ddotdhq]

❌Wed 25 Nov ‘20🎫

Harry and Louis are having another competition, clearly! This time, they’re competing for which one keeps us updaters busier - Louis won today, by the way. The tickets for his livestream went up today as promised, and, like clockwork, the Veeps website went down. Sighhhh come on, guys! We WARNED you about this - PLEASE don’t have this happen on the day of! But fear not, Louis was around and tweeting the whole time, assuring fans that it would work, and everyone could get a ticket. (It took the Intern about six hours, but I finally got mine! Discourse got it in two hours, so that’s the time discrepancy on ticket purchase time). Louis expressed his surprise that site was having issues (literally howwww??? It’s been TEN YEARS!), and said, “you’re all legends! Here we goooooo” , and told fans that we “deserve it!” - it being a chance to watch him perform lmao I stan a confident king! He also promised “one or two” surprises during the concert, said of a piece of fan art “boom! That’s fucking amazing” (it really was, congrats to the artist for a phenomenal piece), confirmed that he loved all his fans, saying yes that one and also that one to various countries for a while before presumably realizing that could continue all day if he didn't draw a line, and promised a bucket hat in his next merch drop. AND! Speaking of merch! You can get a shirt with the cool backlit stage pic they used for his new socials and the veeps background that says CREW on the back and comes with a 'crew' lanyard, or a black mask (!!!) with xx smiley face! All proceeds go to his chosen charities, so go get the merch while it LASTS!

 And now for Harry’s valiant entry to today’s competition: He won best international artist at the ARIAS!!! It’s a fan voted award, and, in a rare move, he made a thank you video to the fans for voting: “...thank you to the fans who voted for me, and for the support that you’ve given me offset the last couple of years and also the years before that. So thank you so much. I hope you’re staying safe.” You too, man! Especially with how BUSY he is going to be in the next month! And now for the “people around Harry talk about him” portion of the update: Anne reminded us that Harry used to be a (Star) baker in her Grammy congrats tweet,  Molly Hawkins posted some pictures yesterday celebrating the Grammy nomination, including one behind the scenes picture in which she had fully blacked a person out. Fans were quick to wonder why she had done that and who it could have been (Louis. People were wondering if it was Louis. There were paps and fans with cameras all over that filming but I mean sure anything is possible!) And Stevie Nicks came back to, uh, suggest a Sunflower Vol 6 music video that depicts a love story between *double checks* a flower and a bee. I wish I was making that up, but there you go - hey, at least H already has the tattoos for both parts of that story! She also goes on to say that she’s happy he decided to become a rock star and eschew the pop roots that were forced upon him in One Direction (and that he's apparently being forced to continue to celebrate and honor and enjoy in his free time mhmm), and that she has the perfect role for him in a miniseries based on Rhiannon (“a magician who doesn’t want to be king”). And in that same vein,Greg Berlanti's hot footie player husband, has signed with CAA,who is producing the upcoming My Policeman. The article says that it is “starring Harry Styles and Lily James”. The last we had heard about this, they were in negotiations... is this an update or simply careless phrasing? Seems a done deal either way, so let's have that exciting announcement! Or not, we do have a lot of other excitement to keep us busy right now.

Niall is being funny on twitter again, making fun of Trump with an “I WON THE GRAMMYS” tweet which landed really well with me and so I'm excited to report it! He also says that he wasn’t snubbed by the Grammys, “I’ll make the music and it’s ok if they decide it’s not Grammy worthy this year, I’ll try my best and hopefully it happens next time or another year.” It was a show of grace, sense, and maturity, love to see it. Also, his merch is 25% off today, and it’s all super high quality, so now’s your chance to get some at, well, cheapER prices anyway. And Liam’s thirst traps are BACK: Liam posted a shirtless selfie with necklaces around his neck and a few tattoos on display, and uh, a really YOUNG looking Maya making a silly face in the background. I don’t say this a lot, but sometimes I am reminded of how she is not even twenty years old, and it is...disconcerting. The picture is captioned “Work starts in 8 hours” and I HOPE that means work on his Christmas concert, which will go really well, if Naughty List is any indication: the song has been number 1 on the Top Triller US Charts for two weeks!

(update from Discourse: there was an error in early versions of yesterday's post, apologies to anyone who saw that one-- Harry is not the first member of 1D to receive a Grammy nod, that was technically Zayn, who hit so many of those milestones first, but Harry got the first solo noms and is well positioned to become the first winner amongst them, get in Harry! )

[myherowritings]

Hello 🥺

Anyways, I saw your ask thingy earlier and I’m not sure what they meant, but there is a lot of people who have asmr readings of your work. I believe you said you didn’t want them to be read on YouTube so I thought I should let you know. You should be able to find them if you search up “My Hero Writings Tumblr” you should be able to find them. Btw I really love your writing and have just been binging all of the smaus again lmao ❤️

STRESS 😭😭 i personally don’t want asmr readings of my fics on youtube i even have a warning on my masterlist,, SIGHHHH :(( i guess i’ll have to try to contact them all and ask them to take it down 😭 ty for letting me know!!! 💖

AND TYSMMMM IM GLAD UR ENJOYING MY WORK!! ILYYY🥰🥰

[rydanart]

Decided to take a head and figure drawing class from Bryan Lee. I find that I take forever and a day completing my portrait drawings because I get fixated trying to get the exact resemblance of the reference and I don't loosen up. I personally don't like where I'm at with my drawing progress this way. I feel that I'll only be relying on copying rather than working from imagination using the ref as a guide 😞. So I decided to get more practice in to increase my speed. 

Imma also be honest. I lack self discipline with it comes to balancing my 'day job' with my art. so I look forward to 'forced' practice time 😅.

This drawing set is homework 1. TOTALLLY INCOMPLETE. I don’t know why but I felt embarrassed sending in incomplete work, especially since this is my “passion”. AND especially since everybody else completed. Sighhhh😔Anyways, the goal is to practice general proportions and apply it to refs. 

I spent waaay too long trying to perfect the drawings and as accurately as possible. I still miss the mark with some and my lines became stiff. And then when it came to applying the proportion to actual ref, I struggled. I realised I spent too much time copying rather than learning how to apply. I guess this is what is meant by ‘meaningful practice’.

I'll try to loosen up the next time. 😤

[lovemesomesurveys]

*Following the trend and re-taking and responding to my very first survey on here from December 2014...SIX years ago!*

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Sigh. Very much so. <<< Wow, that was when I was all in love Joseph. I’ve long since moved on. 

What did you do yesterday? I’ve been on break for the past week and I can honestly say I haven’t really done anything. It’s been kinda nice. <<< Back when I was in school and doing something with my life and had breaks to look forward to. Now I’ve been on break since 2015 and doing absolutely nothing. Anyway, yesterday I slept in past 3PM, had my coffee, checked social medias, played Animal Crossing, watched a few episodes of The Gilmore Girls, had dinner and chilled with my mom the rest of the night while watching another special on the ID channel (they’re doing a different one every night all this week).

Something you really want right now? Hmm. I don’t really want anything at this exact moment. <<< I’d love for this hot, gross, miserable weather to go away and to just fast forward to autumn.

What were you doing an hour ago? Making this side blog. <<< Awww, can’t believe I’ve had it for six years now. An hour ago I was scrolling through Tumblr and listening to ASMR.

If you could seek revenge on someone would you? Nahh. I’m not revengeful. <<< Yeah, I’ve never been a vengeful person.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? Nope. <<< Yes.

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? Sighhhh. It’s been like two years since I’ve kissed anyone. I feel so deprived of any affection. The situation with me and ~him is complicated. Isn’t it always? <<< Ohhh boy, it most certainly was. Ha, if I felt deprived then imagine six years later.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Yep. Right this very second. I more than like him at this point, but like I said. It’s complicated. <<< It was such a mess. I don’t know why I allowed it to go on as long as it did. :/ I should have known nothing was going to change. Since that time with Joseph, I fell in love with Ty and I thought that was actually going to lead to something, but surprise, surprise it did not.

Would you ever get a tattoo? I want to. I’m just a big ol’ baby. <<< Yep, still am. I highly doubt I’ll ever get it done.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? HA. That’s funny. <<< *Spongebob transition thing: Six. Years. Later.* Still single!

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Uhh. Probs my mom yesterday when she called from work. <<< My mom yesterday when she called from the store.

Who was the last person you talked to in person? My brother. <<< Yep.

What plans do you have for tomorrow? Coffee with Amanda. Maybe get some more Christmas shopping done. Hopefully! <<< Omggg, back when I had friends and actually did stuff! ha. And aww, Christmas shopping. Wow, going out and doing things back when we weren’t going through a worldwide pandemic. Presently, I don’t have any plans for tomorrow.  

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? Not recently, but yes a friendship has ended that I wish had not. <<< All my friendships ended a few years ago...

What are you listening to right now? Hey Arnold. <<< An ASMR video.

What happened at 9:00 am today? It hasn’t been 9am yet, but I imagine my ass will be on the couch scrolling through Tumblr and watching tv. Exciting stuff, guys. <<< Ha, you won’t catch my ass up at 9AM anymore. I’ll be sleeping.

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes. I put my heart on the line and they walked away. Awesome. <<< Yepppp. Twice.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Nooo. <<< Just on the cheek.

Do you and your last ex hate each other? Nah. We don’t talk, but there’s no hard feelings. <<< Same.

What are you afraid of? Life. Death. <<< That sums it up quite well. Short and precise. 

When was the last time you were sick? Always. <<< True. I’ve also been getting this gross nauseous feeling that comes and goes that hits at random. As for a virus or something of that sort, I had a cold back in April.

Are you one of those people who are always cold? No. Although, I am right now. <<< Nooo, definitely not. I’m someone who seems to be hot a lot of the time. Like now. I wish I was cold. 

Where are your biological parents? In their room. Sleeping. <<< That’s where they are now, too. I swear they haven’t been there since then. ha.

Do you have any summer plans yet? I wish. It’s still awhile away, though. It could change. <<< There won’t be any summer plans this year.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? On food. Always. <<< I don’t spend much on food anymore, actually. I’ve gotten better about my online shopping, too. I’ve been better at saving money these days than I used to be.

Last thing that you said out loud? “Goodnight, Jon.” <<< “Goodnight.” I’ve pretty much always done my surveys at night, so.

Do you have trust issues? It’s not really trust issues. I just have a hard time opening up in general. <<< Still have that problem. I keep a lot to myself. I’m not at all open like I am on here.

Do you think this year will be better than the last? This year is just about over, which is crazy. I always hope the next year will be better, but there’s always something. <<< Omg. This survey was done in 2014. The next year I graduated UC and shortly after that is when things started going downhill. :/

What are you doing? This pretty much. My tv is on, but it’s background noise. <<< Same, but I’m also listening to an ASMR video.

Are you a jealous person? Yes, but not like psycho jealous. You probably wouldn’t even know it. <<< Yeah. I haven’t felt jealous in a longgg time, though.

Do you think age matters in relationships? Well, yes. To an extent. <<< Yep.

When was the last time you got a haircut? I think maybe back in July. Or a little before then. I’m trying to grow out my hair now. I’m over short hair. <<< My hair was so short then, but now it’s down to my butt! I just got a couple inches cut off back in February.

Do you know anyone that smokes weed? Tons of people. <<< Yep.

Who is the last person you rode in a car with? Mom & brother. <<< My brother.

What is one thing you’d love to happen tomorrow? I’d like to get more Christmas shopping done. My plans for that are still up in the air. I can’t believe Christmas is already next week like wth??? That went by SO FAST. <<< Uhhh, perhaps get Wingstop for dinner.

Did you sing at all today? Yes. <<< Not so far.

Do you look more like your mom or your dad? My mom. <<< Yeah, that hasn’t changed.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? In bed asleep. <<< Right here in bed, probably reading for a bit.

Are there any stressful situations in your life? A few. <<< A lot.

Are your lips chapped at the moment? Nope I’m good thanks for asking. <<< Ugh, yes. I keep licking them because I have fans blowing on me all day.

When you met the person you now love, what happened?: Uh well we met through a mutual. Nothing happened right away. He pursued me first after awhile, but I wasn’t interested initially. Boy did that change. <<< I don’t understand why he did that. He was never interested in really pursuing anything with me, but sure made me think that and I fell for him. He knew how I felt about him and he kept playing me. ANYWAY, I don’t currently love anyone in the romantic sense.

Did you realize anything today?: No, but it’s early. <<< Not so far.

What do you need right now?: Sleep probably. <<< Yeah, I definitely need that.

What’s your favorite food?: Mongolian BBQ. <<< Man, I was obSESSED with Mongolian BBQ for the longest. I miss that. D: I can’t eat spicy food anymore, sadly. Ugh, it was SO good. My favorite food now is garlic parm and lemon pepper wings from Wingstop.

How are you feeling today?: Just kind of whatever. It’s 1 in the morning. <<< Hot and tired and blah.

What is your biggest fear?: Life and death. <<< We went over this already in this survey...

Describe your looks to us: Ugly? Ha. I don’t know. Look at my avatar. <<< Yeah, look at my avatar. 

Have you ever woke up next to someone and wanted to puke? UH no I can honestly say I have not. <<< Nope, thankfully.

What are you listening to right now? Degrassi. <<< An ASMR video still. 

Are you afraid of death? Very. <<< Yes.

Do you open up to people easily? No. It takes a lot. <<< I’m still that way. Even people I’m close with I still struggle with that.

Do you miss anyone? So very much. <<< There’s always a few loved ones I’ll miss that have passed away.

What are you going to do tomorrow? I feel like I’ve been asked this a billion times. <<< For real, we’ve been over this. 

Does any part of your body hurt right now? Noooo. <<< Yes.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Hijikata Biyori Track 8 Translations

First post of the month.... sorry its a bit late but i was busy with life....As this is my first post of the month, please support me if you can either on ko-fi (https://ko-fi.com/V7V2W0HO) or through paypal (paypal.me/KumoriYami ).... also let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my looking for list since i don’t have the audio for those..... 

Anyway (yea, I like this word), I managed to find 2 versions of this translation in Chinese so imma probably compare what i did to the other one later b4 I do a vid... since this was fairly difficult for me to translate this time around as the lack of conversation makes inferring words more than a bit harder. also have i mentioned my dislike of dramas with only one char? will say i prefer monologues>dramas though since I appreciate them more... and since nothing happens in a monologue aside from the conveying of thoughts... 

In my opinion, this drama makes very little sense without the audio since Hijikata is the sole speaker... also because there are quite a few odd background noises in the audio but I’ll worry bout that later when I make my srt file.  

Enjoy.....? if able to? well it’s on youtube if you search for 土方日和 if you don’t wanna wait (mind i think they’re in connected parts as opposed to separate tracks).... i think i’m going to try to at least do 1 biyori a month minimum.... maybe? who knows.... i haven’t really thought of that since my translation plans are more or less: i want x done within y period and i’ll probably start working on this thingie within z period.... and btw i wanna do x1 now for reasons just because so i’ll be squeezing this in now....

...lol. randomness rules.

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Hakuoki Hijikata Biyori Track 8 Work

Translation by KumoriYami

Hijikata: Then I'm going to be working in my room now. If there are any problems, call me.

(door closes)

...Can finally get to organizing the documents. There's a lot of things that can't/won't be/get done once the room is left.

Okay/Well, first are the letters for Edo [?]. Thanks to the military's financial accommodations [might just be increased financial accommodations?].... Ah, this seems only half written... Why was this left half done.... Ah hahaha, originally this was Shinpachi's! Because Shinpachi suddenly rushed out, really, that guy is always so noisy.

Ahhh.... before writing letters you need to clean up. So.... these papers can't be spread everywhere on the desk.

Ah, need to throw this out....hey, what's this? Why wasn't this sent to the Aizu Domain yet?...

Ahh, what's this/what the hell? It was supposed to be sent... ah, that's right, i remember.

Heisuke was looking for trouble [causing trouble?] so I forgot about it.

Really, Heisuke really still is immature/is immature as before/ever.  

Ahh, nothing can be done about it./can't help it.

[I] Need to remember to hand this to the messenger today/ I need to remember to send this today.

Today, Heisuke and Shinpachi are on patrol, so things [/work?] can be done calmly/smoothly.

nn... okay! Roughly finished tidying up. Need to hurry up and finish this work.

But/However, today's weather is really not bad/nice..... anyway/anyhow, there hasn't been time to write haiku lately.

The words of this season... [might just say This season] Nn.... ah... no. need to finish this paperwork first.

ahh, [this is a/made a ] mistake.

...It's so quiet... how rare.

Although there has been an increase in team members, recently it feels that headquarters has become more cramped/narrow.

Ah, no good. now is not the time to waste time. Ah,  [this is ] wrong again!

Ah geez/really!

Ah, what's going on... what/what happened! exactly what happened/ what the hell is going on!

Why is it so noisy. Ah? Calling me to go? ...Ha... What's the matter! It's because of this I can't make any progress with my work!

ah, geez.

-fini-

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in other news, i’m half done editing hakuo gakuen ssl track 2′s srt file.... also I seriously believe that I knew way more about the benefits of staying in the EU than the average UK citizen despite not being a citizen of the bloc (i got loooooots of opinions on politics and the environment as someone actively reads about international news. lol. going to limit what i say for the most part though... or at least until i feel the need to vent it all out).

also i’m unlikely to start turning out translations anytime soon (meaning faster now or do more) as im *trying* to put in a bit more time in for music this month...(i’m making progress at least! plus i’m 100% done with everything after Nagakura’s solo in Never Say Goodbye, Forever, and only have 3 main areas to fix on that piece) plus i don’t wanna change the releases i have planned for this month (they’re mainly done for this month though im still editing them right now... and anything aside from what’s planned will be pushed to next month’s schedule for TLs - the next planned post will be superrr long btw).... ugh... maybe i just just do patreon for early access? i’ve got things queued up til mid-october.... oh, and this post won’t be edited since it’s going to be made into a vid anyway... and i don’t wanna revisit this biyori cuz it’s boring -.-.

*sighhhh*

did you know? i like blue.... also im super tired.... still havent edited last month’s stuff since no time........... i’ll do that at the end of this month. -.-

also i (think) found translations for the original six character monologues.... though Saito’s is already translated I believe... so it’s unlikely that i’m going to re-translate that....

[illbestarryeyedforyou]

i got tagged by @splitzko !! i’m so sorry about the late response, i promise it won’t happen again. anyways, thank you

rules: so it’s answer 21 questions and tag 21 people? i’ll tag a few people, but not 21!!!

nickname: brick and poncho!! poncho is my childhood nickname, which i used to dislike? i would always be like ?? my name is Alfonso, why are my grandparents calling me ponchito? however, i grew into it haha 😊👍

zodiac sign: virgo (i have no idea the purpose of zodiac signs tho!! oh well)

height: 5′8 small!! i’m a smol bean

hogwarts house: ravenclaw!!!! where my raveclaws at?! *putting my hands up or a high five* 🙌

last thing i googled: well there’s two things i last googled simultaneously. firstly, supernatural season 15  --- this is literally the only show I have continued watching since it came out. it’s in it last season so i’m just trying to get a scoop on the spoilers. secondly, the dragon prince season 3 --- I AM HOOKED.

favorite musicians: ahhh -- okay there are so many!! here - https://open.spotify.com/user/227v7vawbicnv65zsbod6wcpq?si=pcR2vwueRyWD7qTOgImqcA                this is my spotify account and there you can see all the artists/bands i follow!!

song stuck in my head: new start by weary friend

favourite time of the day: sighh what do you guys think about sunsets? those are my favorite. i can ramble about the best way to experience one, but. when the sun sets is my favorite time of the day.

favorite color: so here’s the thing.. i love colors- i have a thing about them-- each color remind me of certain emotions, memories, aspirations, etc. i used to feel so colorless inside, but now i try to fill this gap in my life with colors. BUT.. if i have to choose one.. dark green.

followers: 550 but i’m pretty sure 4/5 of them are bots! ha

following: 186 awesome blogs!

do i get asks: not really, but i appreciate it when i do 

amount of sleep: oh boy, it used to be 5 hours, but i am slowly progressing to 7 hours!!! go me 😬😬😊

lucky number: 32

currently wearing: a cap that’s backwards (my hair is unmanageable, but i get to finally go cut my hair tomorrow!!), blue and black flannel, with a lion king t-shirt underneath, black pants, and brown loafers? i look like a hipster punk?

dream job: okay so i need to ramble a bit about this because i’ve just realized how passionate i am about it-- Licensed Clinical Social Worker or a Licensed Professional Counselor.. look, i love working with kids so much, in fact, i’m actually getting ready to work at my local catholic church for sunday classes with the kids!! sorry, back to the point- i love working with kids, i love talking with them through their problems, i love helping them figure out things within themselves, etc. i don’t want to say i have a knack for that because that would be ridiculous to state; that is something that has to be learned and improved on an on going basis, but at my previous job, kids would always come to me for with their problems, advice, an other things.. and i would actually help them!?! every friday before we would finish our weekly shift, we would have evaluations, i would always get called out by my director for the review he received from campers, about how i helped them through their problems, the advice i gave them, and i how i made their week in camp the best experience they had.. i was passionate about working in a foster care institution, and i still am, but maybe i could still work there as a counseling expert? of some sort? sighhhh- i rambled too much. sorry. but yeah i’d like to work as that 👆 all the way up there.😊😊

instruments: a little bit of piano and ukulele

languages: puedo ablar espanol y ingles

favorite songs: nope, NOPE, i’m not going there-- it’s a bunch of sad and cheesy, songs- i’ll spare you of that

random fact: i actually asked google voice for a random fact anddddd *drum roll*...Supai, Arizona is the only place in the US where the mail is delivered by mule. -- okay that’s freaking awesome and random haha

Aesthetic: ahh i’m so bad at this... the smell of baking, scented candles, sitting with your friends while each of you are quietly doing your own thing, reading a book that helps you calm down, sitting in the park while the sun is setting down, decorating your room here and there, and praying sigh especially praying. 😊

okay i’m going to tag a @almostolive @cultivatingkindness @fivelakes @avocadosand-evergreens @his-grace-abounds and @with-kindnessloveandcomfort i feel like i can actually tag more but i already feel bad doing this to the others ones so i am going to keep it this way. that being said, if i tagged you, you definitely don’t have to do it!! okay before i leave i just want to say one more, and off topic thing-- you’re awesome, yes YOU reading this. No, but seriously, I think all of you guys are really important and wonderful people-- stay you and take care guys.  😊😊

[tumblunni]

I really dont feel good

Aaaa thank you so much to the person who leant me money to pay off my overdraft!! And I was able to get a cheap bottle of pop in a bargain store and finally take my antidepressants! Man i ended up being stuck out here way longer than i thought...

But god i feel so sick now cos i havent eaten anything all day and my stomach is now full of pills and stress and nothing else. Person who leant me the money, whoever you are, is it okay if i use the extra £4 to buy something to eat? I know this is a dumb decision cos if i do this now im gonna go back home to a house of plain pasta and nothing else. But i had tp get off the bus after just 20 minutes cos i felt sick, and i know its over an hour to get back yo my house so i dunno if i'll get even worse on that one. And i think the supermarket near me is gonna be closed by the time i get home anyway. Sighhhh...

God seriously where is my sudden lucky windfall of cash as a cosmic reward for all the goddamn ptsd i've faced today?? Major design flaw when making the world. Bad job, todd howard.

Uuuugh food now or more food later, the ultimate dilemma...

Then again i suppose if i get home and just eat plain pasta with salt and nothing else, thats gonna make me more sick anyway. I guess i'll just walk around and try and find wherever's still open that can sell me the cheapest bag of crisps or something? I got the drink for 50p at that nostalgic bootleg store near my childhood home but nothing's anywhere near that cheap in regular town. For reference its usually £1.35 for even a can of that same brand, and this was a whole bottle for a third of the price! Damn i miss that place, everything in st mellons is way harder to afford as a poor person...

[barbaracleboy]

Beeja Board

Blurb #15, let’s fucking gooooooooo! Also, another one about ghosts and Vi’s family...I swear I didn’t mean to do this one and the last one back-to-back. Anywho, this one’s a bit on the longer side (about 3,600 words), but hopefully that’s not too bad. Personally, I thought it was fairly good.

It was about 2:00 AM (or whatever the insect equivalent would be) in The Hive, yet Vi and Jaune were still wide awake. This is because they were messing around, having fun, though now they were getting ready for something...special, according to Vi.

Jaune: Viiii, you know I don't like the dark. Why'd we need to turn all the lights off?

Vi: Because there's no way we can do what we're gonna do in a brightly-lit room. It's gotta be SPOOPY!

Jaune:...You mean "Spooky"?

Vi: Aw fuck, is that how you're supposed to say it??? Damn it, now I feel like a moron! I only ever saw people use that word online, I assumed-

Jaune: Why, pray tell, must the atmosphere be "spooky"?

Vi's frustration instantly dashed off her face as she gave a smirk.

Vi: We're talking to a ghost.

Jaune just stared blankly at Vi for a good few minutes. After a good few of those minutes Vi motioned to Jaune, as if expecting her to say something. Eventually Jaune did respond, bluntly.

Jaune: How?

Vi: Wha-no! You're supposed to call me an idiot and say "Ghosts aren't real!"

Jaune: I mean, zombies are real, mind control and pyrokinesis are real, so ghosts probably can be real. That doesn't explain how we're going to talk to a ghost, especially if they're supposedly on another plain of existence or something to that effect.

Vi: Sighhhh, I had a whole thing I wanted to do...(Lightens up) Anyway, we're gonnna use dis bebby right herr.

Vi pulls a boxed board game out of her fluff and presents it to Jaune.

Jaune:...Monopoly? Vi, that doesn't summon ghosts, it summons demons...internal demons...ones that only arise through true anger and betrayal...

Vi: It's not Monopoly, dope, it's-

Jaune: That game is the reason Vilma's no longer into men.

Vi:...Okay, but that's not what we're using, and what we're using is NOT a game...it's a spectre-speaking apparatus!

Jaune: One that's sold in stores by a common brand?

Vi: That ain't how I got it.

Jaune: (Concerned) How did you get it?

Vi: Well, this one guy offered me it for a top hat, so I took one from this stupid kid and traded it for it.

Jaune: Wait, did you steal this?

Vi: No, I stole the top hat I traded for this. The point isn't how I got it, it's the fact that we'll use it to talk to a ghost! OoOooOooOOOoooOOoooOooo-

Jaune: Even if that does work, what ghost could you possibly want to talk to?

Vi: Uh, our dad, duh.

Jaune: What.

Vi: Come on, Jaune, haven't-heh, I made a rhyme-haven't you ever thought "Man, it would be so sick if I could talk to my father"?

Jaune: I mean, the idea has crossed my mind but-

Vi: Smacks box, this baby can make that dream a reality!

Jaune: Vi, this...ugh, fine. I'll take part in this little...experiment, let's call it.

Vi: Don't taint this with nerd words, Jaune...also nice! And if this doesn't work I'll snag you a backstage pass to one of Mothiva's shows.

Jaune: (Flustered) Wh-wh-what??? H-How would-

Vi: Just help set it up, Lady Simp.

Jaune: (Really Flustered) I-I-I-I'M NOT, I J-

Vi: (Opens the box) Here, read the instructions. You know how I feel about words that aren't on a screen.

Jaune swallows her secret-but-not-really excitement as she scans through the paper that Vi handed her.

Jaune: Ooookay, let's see..."Do not use this board at exactly midnight, only use it before or after." "Make sure you have rice saltwater handy at all times when using the board." (Getting scared) "If you have experienced haunting-like experiences before, we heavily recommend against using this board." "Try to minimize participants, as too many may increase the chances of unwanted possessions and-"

Vi: That's just the legal stuff, Jaune, read the part that helps us get it together.

After a while the two Bees have finally set up their spirit board, and now they're sitting, just about ready to converse with a phantom.

Vi: We good, Big (Pronounced French-like) J?

Jaune: (Hesitant) Uhhhh, almost. It says that in order to get things truly started-

Vi: The hell, what were the twenty minutes of dancing with books and chewing chalk for???

Jaune:-Vi, shut up- to get things truly started we must each take a piece of ourselves and put it into the little glass container on the center of the board.

Vi: Is that one of those sissy metaphors?

Jaune: Nah, I think it means this.

Jaune plucks a hair from Vi's neck fluff.

Vi: OW!

Jaune: Pfft, don't bee a babee, Vee.

Vi plucks a hair from Jaune's butt fluff.

Jaune: OW!

Vi: >:)

Jaune: >:(

They place the hairs into the container before Jaune continues reading.

Jaune:...Next we must both place one of our hands onto the planchette, the little disc thing.

Vi: Well, that's pretentious. Just call it a disc.

Jaune: Finally, we close our eyes and say the words written right here.

Vi: How are we gonna read the words if our eyes are closed?

Jaune: IIIIIII suppose we have to memorize them.

Vi: UUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Jaune: I said shut up!

So they memorize the words.

Jaune: Okay, NOW we close our eyes and say the words.

Vi: We don't even have eyelids...

Vi and Jaune: Oh you who have died, who have long since passed..."Would you like to visit?" is what we ask...

Suddenly, a book that was on Jaune's shelf falls over, and she gives a little yelp.

Vi: This is awesome.

Jaune: (Scared Shitless) I don't wanna do this anymore.

Vi: Hell yeah, you do.

Vi and Jaune:...Please now return to where we walk...And come to us, we'd like to talk...

The sisters sit for a while, slowly getting upset by the nothing happening.

Jaune:...Okay, NOW I don't believe in ghosts.

Vi: I bet that book just fell because you placed it badly.

Suddenly the objects in Jaune's room fly around wildly, and both she and Vi scream as they watch the horror ensue. Meanwhile, in the room next to Jaune's, Malbee is sitting angrily. Having had enough of her sisters' noise, she leans over to the wall opposite of Jaune's and bangs on it angrily.

Malbee: Will you two quiet down!?!?! I'm trying to sleep!!!!

Dashy: (From her own room) Malbee, if you don't shut it I'll deck you!!!

Malbee: What!?!?

Dashy: (Still from her own room) I said shaddap!!! People are trying to sleep!!!

Malbee: Are you kidding me!?!?!? They-

Tuvi: (Also from her own room) Malbee, PLEASE!!! We are ALL tired, just go to bed!!!

Malbee: ANGRY AND INCOMPREHENSIBLE NOISES!!!!

Those aforementioned noises only serve to make Vi and Jaune cry in fear as they hold each other tight whilst Jaune's room continues freaking out. Eventually it stops, and everything in the room falls to the floor. In confusion, the pair of Bees just sit for a little.

Jaune:...Should we call an exorcist?

Vi: I thought those were only in movies.

Before Jaune can correct Vi, they're made silent again, this time by a strange and eerie noise.

Vi: Oh no, ghost groaning!

Jaune: Wait, that's not groaning...it sounds more like...drunken mumbling...

Suddenly, something begins to manifest in front of them both. It takes the shape of a short male Bee, with curled antennae and messy fluff. He looks around the room with confusion of his own as Vi and Jaune look on in shock and awe.

Ghost Bee:...Should I say something?

Vi: He...he has my fluff...

Jaune: He...he has my antennae...

Ghost Bee:...Happy Hanukkah!...That's a thing, right?

Vi:...(Teary-eyed) Daddy!

Vi runs to the spirit, hoping to hug him...but she instead goes through him and crashes into Jaune's bookshelf. Which proceeds to fall on top of her.

Ghost Bee: Who the hell are you?...(Looks to Jaune) Who the hell are you?

Jaune: Is...is your name Gaston?

Gaston: Maybe. What, are you a cop?

Jaune: No...I...and Vi over there...

Vi: (Dazed) Whatever she says, don't listen, I'm the big sister.

Jaune:...Are your children.

Gaston: Whuzzat?

Vi: (Gets up) You banged our mom and then our eggs popped out of her and then we popped out of those.

Jaune: (Absolutely Disgusted) VI!!!!

Vi: Did I lie?

Gaston: Wait, so that is how babies are made?

Jaune: You...didn't know that?

Gaston: Nope.

Vi: But, I thought a drone's whole purpose was-

Gaston: Are we gonna keep asking questions or am I gonna get drunk?

Vi: Yes, actually, we were hoping to ask questions.

Gaston: Oh shit, you two are cops! I didn't stab that guy, he slipped on a fruit rind and the dropped the knife up his own butt.

Vi: OUR DAD IS AWESOME!

Jaune: No, we aren't interrogating you, we just wanted to chat!

Vi: Besides, I hate police. I mean, Jaune's a bit of a bootlicker but you know.

Jaune: Fuck off, I am not a bootlicker.

Gaston: Well, what would you little shits want to ask so bad that you'd bring me to...where am I? Is this Boston?

Vi: Opens mouth to talk...(Quietly, To Jaune) I didn't think of anything.

Jaune: (Quietly, but angrily, to Vi) Are you serious!? Just, like...

Vi: (To Gaston) How's...the weather?

Gaston shrugs.

Jaune:...What was life like back in your home hive?

Gaston: Eh, kinda boring. I actually got kicked out at the age of, like, 15 or so.

Jaune: Oh no, how come?

Gaston: Long story short, I was trying to make honey-flavored beer and I ended up turning the queen into an alcoholic.

Vi: Hey, just like Grandma!

Jaune: What, uh, what about your relationship with other drones? Did you get along well?

Gaston: I beat a lot of them up. They had it coming, though: like, who are they to judge me?

Vi: Ugh, I know, right?

Jaune: Nothing pisses me off more than someone saying I'm not that good at something!

Gaston: And they'd also tell me I was stupid, which REALLY twisted my nuts!!

Vi: Yeah, like, who fucking gets off on insulting someone else!?!?

Jaune: I get SO mad when people insult me!!!

Gaston: Sometimes they even compared me to friggin' animals!!!

Jaune: OH, just hearing this makes me fucking LIVID!!!

Vi: Eh, aren't you guys overreacting?

Gaston: AND THEY ALSO LOVED CALLING ME SHORT, WHICH I AM FUCKING NOT!!!

Vi: WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!

Jaune: Alright, you know what? We're switching topics. (To Gaston) Dad, what was Queen Bianca like?

Vi: THAT HOE IS STILL ALIVE, DUMBASS!!!

Jaune: I wanted a different perspective on her, Vi.

Vi: Sorry, I was still thinking about people calling me short.

Gaston: Queen Bianca?...Heh, now that's a dame. I got lost looking at her sometimes. Metaphorically and literally, sometimes I'd stare at her until I walked off a ledge or something and then I had trouble finding my way back to The Hive.

Jaune: Aw, that's a little sweet.

Vi: If you read crappy love stories, maybe.

Gaston: And her thighs, good GODS...

Vi and Jaune: D:

Vi: I regret being so blunt earlier, please stop.

Before Gaston could respond (heh, I kind of made a rhyme) the sisters heard a knock at the door. Jaune jolted and quickly grabbed Vi.

Jaune: Vi, we can't let them see Dad!

Vi: Why?

Gaston: Am I too sexy?

Jaune: I am 90% sure they will flip out and alert everybody if they see a ghost.

Gaston: Is that what I am? I thought I was a Bee.

Vi: Pipe down and hide, Pops!

Vi throws a blanket at Gaston while saying "Nyeh!" , but it goes through him and onto the floor.

Jaune:...Okay, Vi, get on my shoulders. It'll help hide Dad from someone looking in the doorway. Dad, stay right where you are, PLEASE...

Gaston: No. (Floats one millimeter higher)

Jaune opens the door, praying the the little sister on her shoulders would conceal their fatherly phantom, and is greeted by Crow (who's currently wearing pajamas that are themed after some show that's likely the flavor of the month in the Eastern Lands.)

Jaune: Bonjourrrrrrr, Crow, my dear half-sister!

Vi: S'up, girl, how you doin'?

Crow: Hey Jaune, Vi. Do you happen to have a spare tissue box? Doesn't even need to have tissues in it, I just need the box.

Jaune: Errr, no, not really.

Crow: A-a-are you sure that you don't have, like, even an empty one?

Vi: I mean, if we had an empty one we probably threw it away already.

Crow: Well, I already looked through the trash-errrrrr, uhhh...look, I'm trying to build a model of this cool robot from a manga I read out of random stuff, I literally just need one tissue box and-

Vi: We don't got it, so go away or I'll be on you like this! (Does some karate moves and falls off of Jaune's shoulders).

Crow:...Are you guys trying to hide something?

Vi and Jaune: NO, WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE!!!

Crow:...I can see that.

Vi and Jaune: SEE WHAT!?

Crow: Nothing.

Vi and Jaune:...

Crow: Look, I'll just ask someone else, thanks anyway.

So Crow leaves Jaune's door, and Jaune is quick to slam said door shut and turn to her spectral father, who apparently went undetected.

Gaston: Who the hell is she?

Vi: One of our sort-of-siblings, Crow.

Gaston: Crow, huh? Y'know, she kinda reminded me of a guy I knew called Magpie.

Jaune: Magpie?

Gaston: Yeah. He was total dork, I bullied him all the time.

Jaune: (Gasp) Vi! That must have been Crow's Dad!

Vi: Oh, sick! (To Gaston) Hey, Dad, what other drones did you know?

Gaston: Well, there was this one dude named Will. He was real lanky but pretty pleasant, to be honest.

Vi: Ooh, that sounds just like Vilma!

Jaune: Anybody else?

Gaston: Uhhh, I knew this one guy called Rich, but I always liked calling him Bitch.

Vi: Hehehehehehehehehehe, Bitch.

Gaston: Alright, kids, I'm pretty tired. I'ma go get with your mom again. Peace.

Vi: Wait, what!?

Jaune: Dad, you can't-

Gaston didn't listen, instead opting to move through the wall of Jaune's room.

Jaune: We need to stop him, before someone spots him!

Vi: Gee, ya think?!

Malbee had stormed her way over to Jaune's door, and was just about to start banging on said door when Vi kicked said door down and crushed her with it.

Jaune: Vi, what the hell'd you do to my door!?

Vi: We'll fix it later, J.J., we gotta find our papa!

Vi knocks on the door right next to Jaune's and Beena opens it.

Vi: Hey, Beena, did you see a-

Jaune: (Covers Vi's mouth) Ha ha, h-h-how're you doing?

Beena: Uhhhh, I'm okay?

Jaune: Wonderful, simply wonderful. Sayyy, Beena, may me and/or Vi enter your room for a moment?

Beena:(Looks to the dirty magazines on her bed)...Nnnnnnnnooooo...

Jaune:...Please?

Beena: I...I'd rather you not...

After a minute of silence Jaune tries to force herself in while Beena struggles to force her out.

Jaune:..Please, Beena, we just gotta...

Beena shoves Jaune away and slams the door shut.

Jaune:...(To Vi) What, you're not kicking this door down?

Vi: I can respect someone's privacy. Besides, she had some weird stuff on her bed.

Jaune: Wha-

Vi: Come on, we gotta keep looking.

Vi knocks on the door next to Beena's but nobody responds...

Vi:...I'ma kick it down.

Jaune: What happened to respecting someone's privacy?

Vi: Impatience trumps respect.

Vi kicks the door down, and inside the room is Aebees, sitting on her bed and stimming as she listens to music and does a breathing exercise. She opens her eyes and looks to Vi and Jaune (who are a little confused) with an annoyed expression.

Aebees:...I had a bad dream.

Jaune: Ohhhhh, we're never gonna find him!

Vi: We're just going too slow, if only-

Vi was interrupted by Jaune squealing, which came about due to her seeing their father phase out of Jud's room and down the hallway.

Jaune and Vi: Hell yeah, convenient!

As they run off after him, Aebees grumbles as she fixes her door before going back to calming herself. Meanwhile, Vi and Jaune see Gaston about to enter Queen Bianca's bedroom before he notices and waves to them.

Gaston: Oh, hey girls! Just gonna ogle your mother for a bit, I'll see you soon enough.

He phases through the Guards protecting Bianca's bedroom, as well as the bedroom doors.

Guard 1: (Shivers) You feeling cold too?

Guard 2: Girl, I'ma be honest with you, I've been cold all night. I'd wear a scarf but I think they look ugly on me.

Vi: They...didn't even acknowledge him?

Jaune: Ohhhhhh, that makes things way easier.

The duo walk up to the guards as nonchalantly as they can make themselves look.

Vi: Hey Billie, Bonnie, how are you?

Billie: Eh. Can't complain.

Jaune: Can you let me and Vi in to Queen Bianca's room, please?

Vi: We were woken by a horrible occurrence, and we need the warm protection of our dear mother's fluffy bosom to ease our worried hearts.

Billie: The fu-

Bonnie: Sure, go ahead.

Vi: Thankies!

Vi and Jaune walk into the room as Billie looks to Bonnie, all confused.

Billie:...Aren't they grown up?

Bonnie: Hey, I still get nightmares that make me wanna cuddle Mom's bosom.

Billie: PLEASE don't say that again.

Bonnie: Bosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosombosom-

Billie: AAAAAGHH-

As Billie and Bonnie quarrel, Vi and Jaune start quietly scouring Bianca's room (as Bianca herself sleeps) in search of their father.

Vi: He's not in the makeup drawer. You found him...what's another J-related nickname I can give you?

Jaune: No, he isn't in the bathroom...also, thank you, but I'd rather not have a nickname.

Gaston: Oh, girls! Helping your old man go on a panty raid?

Jaune: Dad, that is nasty! Also, you can't just go around everywhere! Think about the havoc that be started by the knowledge that a poltergeist is amok!

Vi: He's no poltergeist, Jaune! He's a polterGast! :D

Jaune and Gaston:...

Vi:...Screw you guys, that was funny.

Gaston: Puns are for women. Anywho, I'm gonna try and make some honey-flavored beer.

Vi and Jaune: Dad!

Suddenly, Queen Bianca starts getting up. Vi and Jaune are too shocked to move, and she lifts up her eyemask to see her daughters reaching out for nothing.

Bianca:...Vi? Jaune?

Vi/Jaune: HELLO, MOM/QUEEN BIANCA, ER, QUEEN BIANCA/MOM UH, UM-

Bianca: What are you two doing here?

Vi: WE WANTED TO CUDDLE YOUR BOSOM, MOMMY.

Bianca: Why...why were you calling out "Dad"?

Jaune: NO REASON.

Bianca:...Are you upset that you lost your father?

Jaune and Vi look to each other with extreme concern as Bianca gives a glum sigh.

Bianca: I admittedly never expected to have to deal with this type of issue: most Bees hardly think about their fathers. I know I didn't. But...it would appear that you two are affected by his absence, aren't you?

Jaune:...Um...

Bianca gets out of her bed and walks over to the pair.

Bianca: Ohh, I am so sorry, you two. Just know that you are both such wonderful girls. Violet, you are determined and strong and though it's often overlooked I know you have such a good heart.

As Vi's about to respond, Gaston pokes his head out from behind Bianca and smiles at Vi. Vi stares at him as she responds.

Vi: Th-thank you...

Bianca: And Jaune, you have built up such skill with your paint, you can create such wonderful things. The emotions your art brings about are nothing short of breathtaking.

Jaune: I...I'm glad you like my paintings?

Bianca: It would appear that I have failed to give adequate support to Bees with concerns relating to their fathers, and for that I am truly, very sorry. If you both would like I can have a group started very soon, with the express purpose of assisting Bees like yourselves. Bees that...would have liked some fatherly affection along with motherly affection.

Vi: Uhhhh, that's really nice but I think I'd be too uninterested for it.

Jaune: And I don't handle my emotions very well so I think I'd be a bad fit.

Vi: That too.

Bianca: Mm. Even still, I can have it started and if you change your minds you can join.

Jaune: That could be alright, thank you.

Bianca: Ohhh, girls...if your father were still around I am certain that he would be very, very proud of you both.

Vi and Jaune look to Gaston (still peeking out from behind their mother), and he gives a smile and shrug that can best be translated to "that sounds about right".

Vi:...Can...can we stay in your room a little longer, Mom?

Bianca: Of course, my children. I love you both very much.

Bianca hugs Vi and Jaune as they both go "Mhm", and then she gets back in her bed and quickly drifts back to sleep. They join their Ghost Dad as he goes up to Bianca's bed.

Gaston: Whistle...age has only done this woman good.

Vi: Please...

Gaston: Hey, how come she didn't react to MY sweet ass?

Jaune: Perhaps the participants of the original summoning are the sole ones permitted to view the summoned spectre?

Gaston: Of those words I only understood "ones".

Vi: Let's just go back, please.

Gaston: Yeah, turns out I can't drink like this so I've pretty much done all I'd like to do.

So the three of them return to Jaune's room and fix Jaune's door before they get ready to end the summoning.

Jaune: Alright, let me see how we end this.

Vi: Aw, what? But spoopy-SPOOKY, I meant spooky-Dad is fun!

Jaune: It says that leaving a ghost summoned for too long can invite demons.

Suddenly a one-eyed, sharp tooth-and-clawed monster emerges from the board with a loud roar, leaving the three Bees screaming. Gaston tears the creature's eye out and it lets out a screech of pain before it burns up, leaving no traces behind.

Vi:...Dad, you are the best.

Jaune: Okay, so according to the instructions we need to place our hands on the planchette-

Gaston: That's a pretentious name.

Vi: That's what I said!

Jaune:...and close our eyes before saying the words used to summon the ghost backwards.

Vi: Wait! We almost forgot to say goodye to Dad!

Jaune: Oh crap you're right!

Jaune and Vi get up and open their arms before running towards Gaston.

Jaune and Vi: Goodbye, Dad! We'll miss-

They crash into each other and fall over.

Gaston: Pffffhahahahaaaaaa!!! Man, my kids are dumb. Got good fashion sense, though.

Jaune: (Gasp) You like my beret?

Gaston: Yeah, makes me wish I had one. In fact, gimme yours.

Vi: (Annoyed) Let's just get this over with.

Vi and Jaune both place their hands on the maybe pretentiously-named object and close their eyes before they start babbling. After a bit of this a light starts surrounding Gaston.

Gaston: Uhp, looks like I really am heading out. Tell your mother she still looks smokin'!

Vi: Wait, Dad, I just remembered one last question I had! I heard male Bees die when (whispers to Gaston) with the Queen. Is that true, did you die because (whispers to Gaston) exploded?

Gaston: Well, if you're curious as to how I died I-(pops away.)

Vi: FUCK, that was the main reason I wanted to talk to him in the first place!!! Jaune, can we do the thing again?

Jaune:...It says you gotta wait three days before summoning again. It's, like, a holy number or something.

The two Bees hear a banging at the door, and they open it to see an utterly infuriated Malbee.

Malbee: What is you two's problem!? Honestly! It's fucking, like, 3 in the morning, I have to go to work in two hours, do you both get off on being stupid and obnoxious and-

Jaune: Hey Malbee?

Malbee: What!?!?!?!?

Jaune: Was your dad's name Rich?

Malbee: I...I mean, yeah, but why-

Jaune: More like Bitch. (Closes the door)

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 09 - 13.04.18 lb

righttttttttttttt, so the inbox is fulllllllllllllllllll of ppl asking me to lb this week, which got me kinda sorta intrigued as to what was so great.... anyway, here we go... let’s see if i still remember how to do this ish!

09. 04. 18

jfc literally not 10 seconds into the ep and in mahoday ki hamming shuru. yougaiz y u do this to me??????????? 😫😫😫

idk if it’s that i haven’t watched this show in so long or what, but my god the level of ~draaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaa (from nakuul’s acting to everyone’s reactions, to the frantic close ups, to the crazy music) is fucking killing me of second hand embarrassment. 😖😖😖

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT EVEN IS THIS ~~~~~ACTING HE’S DOING, WITH THE WEIRD HEAVY BREATHING EXHALING THROUGH HIS TEETH I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING 🤣🤣🤣

lololololol shakti and jhanvi and tej’s overwrought lamentations.

and they have the audacity to call pinky dramatic and tell her to shut up all the time. 😑😑😑

“jo maine apni aakhon se dekha hai, uske baad mujhe kisi explanation ki zaroorat nahi hai!” - the credo of every dumbass male lead in tellywood. 🙄🙄🙄

same, shaktiji, same. this is my face rn too, watching this hot mess.

lmao who the fuck told you to have so much bharosa and guroor on these ppl when they’ve always proven to be shadyass fuckers who were always out to fuck ppl over in some way or the other????? like your own damn mom tried to screw you over. honestly shivaay, you’re dumb as a bag of hair.

no really, from like episode 3 onwards my boy om’s been trying to tell your dumb ass that this family was shady af, but did ya ever listen to him? nooooooooooooooooooo. fucking idiot.

OK HIS HAMMING IS KILLING ME YOU GUYS I CAN’T DO IT I CAN’T. *fwds*

honestly pinky is me. just suffering through this in silence, kyunki kehne ke liye baaki hi kya hai??????????/

oh. spoke too soon. mummeh has had enough of beta’s ainvayiiiiii ke accusations and like OMG STFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

mummeh, bachpan mein hi chaar daant aur critical thinking sikhaaya hota bete ko, toh aaj yeh din dekhna hi nahi padta.

meanwhile some randomass “comedy” is happening here with ruVya and anika and i honestly dooooo notttttttt give a fuckkkk *singing it like jean ralphio from parks and rec*

jfc, it hurts me physically to see how skinny surbhi’s become, just look at the fucking bones jutting out on her chest. girl, what are you even doing, eat something!!!!

second time poor om’s had to take the heat for shivaay. sigh.

ugh ok i really don’t care for this “comedy”, which is not even funny, but i’m here for anika regretfully yet affectionately trying to wipe the water off om’s face.

sigh the crumbs i’m resigned to as an aniKara lover.

OMFG ISKI OVERACTING IDHAR KHATAM NAHI HUI???? DON’T YOU HAVE A PLANE TO JAPAN TO CATCH AND SOME CULTURE TO APPROPRIATE?????? CHAL HATTTTTTT YAAAAAAAAARRRR, JAAAA NAAAAAA.

same, tej. #same.

god i honestly am dyingggggggggg. it’s actually physically painful to watch this. i should pop a klonopin or something.

matlab, om ka puraana “sachchai” waala bhoot shivaay ke andar ghus gaya hai kya? i find it extreeeeemely rich that he’s allllll about truthfulness now when alllll he’s done throughout this show is use his money and power to cover up his family’s shady BS on a daily basis. suddenly he’s raja harishchandra.

god mamta ka vaasta and all that shit. [mais voice] aye chal naaaaaa. 😑😑😑

ok already shivika have a fuckallllll marriage, where he doesn’t tell her shit. uske upar se this toliiiii of naraad munis is lagaaofying more aag. fuck y’all. fwding this nonsense.

LMAO JHANVI BEING LIKE MERE LIYEEEEE OMKARA RUDRA AUR TUM MEIN KOIIIIIIIIIII FARAQ NAHI HAI, don’tttttttttttttttt you evennnnnnnnn go there b. don’t you evennnnnnnn!

lel bua ki slow clap waaali entry.

abbe bas kar na. stop after the third clap, yeh kya 5 minute tak taali bajaaye hi jaa rahi ho??????

i really fucking hate this bua more than any character i’ve ever hated in this show. ever.

ugh om you were supposed to the be voice of reason in this group of deranged monkeys. why are you like this???????????? 😣😣😣

waise maaannna padega, bua has killer jawline. i also want such defined jawline. my jawline is like a ball of goonda hua atta, sigh.

LMAOOOOOOOO her reaction at being yelled at by allla them. someone teach me how to be this calm and composed and not instantly dissolve into tears the moment someone raises their voice at me.

PHOTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS 😱😱😱

thank the lord over here this clown posse has finally wizened the fuck up. dumbasses.

hahahahahahaha tej finallllllllly realizingggg that roop is a taylor swift level 🐍🐍🐍🐍

oh daaaaang. roop’s finally snapped. thookna and all. 😬😬😬

meanwhile, this one here has gone into catatonic shock. abbe at least use this time to excuse yourself and go return your wife’s call, she’s worried sick outta her mind.

oh damn she spilled that veer’s her baby.

now everyone here is just like goddamnnnnnnn roop, what mountain giant did you have sex with to create that hagrid type half-giant???? 😶😶😶

lol she used the word baaaaaaaaaanjh. remember the good old days when anika used that word repeaaatedly to scare the f outta shivaay? sighhhh, good old days.

yup. stillllllllllllll in shock. someone call anika to come throw some water at him and snap him outta it.

oh no. he snapped outta it. it’s worse. go back into shock, plz. ugh.

OH GOD HE’S BACK AT IT WITH THE “MERE LOG”

daaaaaaaaaaaayum rooop at it with the logiccccccccccc “tab nahi maara tha toh ab kyun laash ko nikaalne aa gaye??”

“oh fucks yeh toh maine socha hi nahi. yeh toh shits ho gaya.”

lmaoooooooooooooooooooo she exited while clapping too.

WTF HOW IS IT “CLEAR KI MR. KAPOOR KO AAP LOGON NE NAHI MAARA”??????? HOW? EXPLAIN YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT TO ME RN, SON. COZ I DON’T GET IT. ALL YOU HAVE IS THEIR WORD AGAINST HERS.

naaaaaaaaaaaaaam kyaaaaaa thaaaaaaaaa

god please don’t tell me this dumbass sends them and covers up mr. kapoor’s skeleton on his own. please!

WHAT HE’S TRUSTING KHANNA WITH THIS FUCKING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

callllllllllll abhayyyyyyyyy back you dumbassssssssssss. at least he was useful to dig up the old tapes and shittttttttt. khanna can’t even be trusted with buying paper!!!!!!!!!

i don’t get it. why is roop so determinedly behind shivaay and anika’s relationship. like focus on killing the shady 4 na, or destroying the fam as a whole, embroiling them in scandal and bankrupting them....... this focus on shivika is so random and contrived, just like when svetlana was behind them. KUCHHHHHH VIIIIIII AINVAYIIIIIIIIIIIII

OMFG DID SHE REALLY SAY DAANTON DAANTON MEIN?????? IS THIS SOME META JOKE ABOUT HER TEETH WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHOW AND IT’S WEIRDLY HELLA ON POINT META JOKES THESE DAYS??????????????

anika is in a rightttttttt paniccccccccccccc

dang khanna’s hair on pointttttttttttttttt

WHUT SHIVAAY JUST DID THE THOONK SE PAGE PALATNA THING WHICH IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT SOMETHING HE’D DO

aaaaaaaaand we have an address!

10. 04. 18

explain to me how he looks like THIS after a sleepless night where half of it was spent standing around in rain and a muddy dilapidated factory, while i look like something that the cat dragged out the gutter even after 10 hours of sleep and some masterful eyeliner.

murder and being shady got the shady 4′s appetite all down. hota hai, hota hai.

god, shivaay, you’re the fucking worst. look how worried this poor girl is for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN’T YOU JUST FUCKING TEXT BACK??????????????? GOD. MEN REALLY AIN’T SHIT.

thank god for pinky being calming and motherly to anika FOR ONCE.

omg jhanviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii stfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu i hate you soooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. remember when i was like i hate roop most. naah, i hate jhanvi the most.

how the fuck is a house abandoned for over 25 years in INDIA, only this dirty? like, this is the haalat of house if you don’t do jhaadooo pochchaa for like 3 days. 25 years, this place would have been infested with rats and snakes and giant mutant pigeons and every surface would be a goddamn tetanus risk.

lmao anika and her CHA waale names for everything.

GOD SHIVAAY STOP TOUCHING EVERYTHING. UGH.

oh and the cassette tape is perrrrrrrfectly fiiiiiine and playable and waah, like @jobless-n-aimless said, electricity bhi chalta hai. kamaaaaaal. seems like this house had some kinda protective charm bubble around it.

lmao yeah ok shivaay, that’s ALLLLLLLLL you’re getting to know from this. all the chaaaa names and CHUTKI absolutely don’t ring ANYYYYYYYYYYYY other bells.

BRO THE VOICE LITERALLY CALLED HER ANIKA, LIKE.... ARE YOU STILL NOT GETTING IT?????? HOW THE FUCKKKKK YOUR SLOW ASS GOT INTO FUCKING CAMBRIDGE, I’LL NEVER KNOW

lmao the burden of the truth deflated his hair kekekekeke

OMG LOOK AT THIS PERFECT GODDESS GOD SHE IS SO PRETTY *kisses the screen baar baar*

as per usual, tia proves that she’s the best person in this godforsaken show’s universe and that we, and especially these fucking oberois, are unworthy of her grace and magnanimity

um shivaay, learn to read the expression of the person in front of you before going into this gleeful-manic-spiral

um yeah. good. connected the dots. finally.

his hair is back inflated again. you know why. (because it’s full of secrets.)

lmao wifeeeeeee is about to fucking slug him, that’s how fucking mad she is.

that’s a reaaaaaaaaaaaal guiltyyy face my friend. like you literally look like you came back after having affair.

lol that burnt roti tho. points for consistency. i just recently watched that clip of sahil eating his burnt waala tiffin; “yeh jalaa hua nahi hai, bohut tasty hai!”

(shivaay: jalaa hua khaate hai, isliye dono bhai-behen jale-bhune rehte hai!!!!)

LMAO HER FACE EVERY TIME SHE STRUGGLES WITH THE BURNT TO A CRISP ROTIIIIIIIII

aur yeh bechaara hai ki khaaye jaa raha hai, bina complaints. truly haqdaar of SPA 2018 best pati.

yes that was sarcasm/hyperbole. clarifying before y’all clog up the inbox with outrage.

oh ho ho ho, do they regularly trade massages? DO SPILL! 😏😏😏😚😚😚😘😘😘

aw okie, slight heart melt at this. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

baaaaaaaaaaad cover uppppp. she knows something’s up. 

LMAO HE’S FULLY PARROTING SAHIL’S WORDS “JALA HUA NAHI HAIIIII, BOHUT TASTY HAI!”

the boys in anika’s life know that key to happiness is lying about how much they love “well done” food. 🙈🙈🙈

aw man, his face is kinda killing me.

GOD WHY DON’T THEY REALISE THAT THIS MAN’S BEST ACTING IS ALWAYS WHEN HE IS SILENT AND MADE TO EXPRESS, AND WRITE ACCORDINGLY? NO. LOUDDDDDD LOUDDDDD OVERDRAMATIC MONOLOGUES. OUFF. KUNAL IS THE ONE GOOD AT THOSE. GIVE HIMMMMMM THOSE. *sets the whole writers room on fire* 😣 😣 😣🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

THANK GOD FOR ONCEEEEEEE SHIVAAAY’S AT LEAST TELLING THE BROTHERS INSTEAD OF FUCKING ACTING LIKE A MARTYR WHO HAS TO HANDLE EVERYTHING ALONE

bruh have you met anika? she’s handled a lot more in life, namely you and your hellspawned family’s presence in her life, to break from THIS kinda news. but like ok.... whatever keeps the show running.

gotta say i’m on #teamRudra.

god om, since when are you like this????? you were always for total transparency and truth and blah blah blah. i guess all that was just a phase, huh???

lol @ omru’s dramaaaaaaticass fight as shivaay dissociates again. 

.... um you don’t know shit about her family situation tho? all you have is a name and address? how you know if her maa baap pyaar karte the or whatever. like honestly, you jump from A to Z dontcha????

.... it bothers me how they keep saying Anika Vardhan Trivedi, instead of Anika HARSHVARDHAN Trivedi. coz like.... harshvardhan is usually a single name, not split up? ok whatever.

“jinki beti anika ho, koi galat nahi kar sakte”

that’s the most dumbass thing i’ve heard. there’s plenty of perfectly good children in the world with absolute psychos as parents. many examples of which are living in your own damn house. but go offfffff i guess.

“main kya aise hi gaandhaari banke ghoomti rahoongi?”

pffffffffffffffffft.

lol that lil sassy face she made at him after he took the patti off.

why are their cobwebs across the door, even after shivaay (and presumably omRu) have opened it and gone into the house?

god the look of foreboding on his face is KILLLLLLLLLING ME.

11. 04. 18

i love this song and all but ugh it’s so cliched and overdramatic. i would have just preferred the sad anika theme with the violins.

ah man. my heart. there’s anika, who’s experiencing all this, memories coming back to her, all strange and fuzzy, but then there’s also shivaay experiencing them through her, but filled with SO MANY MORE FEELINGS: concern, trepidation, guilt.

aaaaaaaaaah fuck. it’s all coming back to her nowwwwww.

but like... idgi. she remembered chutki, but just specifically forgot her dad and his name? seems like some kinda weird nonsense made-up-for-tellywood kinda amnesia, but okay?????

again, i’m just so struck by how nakuul’s best acting comes when there’s no/minimal dialogue, and he’s just made to REACT in a passive role, rather than taking the lead. like honestly gulneet, if you love him sooooooo much, why wouldn’t you write to his best abilities, rather than forcing him into scenes and situations where he comes off looking like a bloody amateur? LEARN TO UTILIZE YOUR FUCKING CAST BETTER, FOOLS.

ok fully i’m fully sobbing like a damn fool up in here, at her both laughing and crying. fuck will this fucking show never let go of me?????? when will i stop being affected by these damn characterssssssss.

aaaaaand his hamming’s started. ouff. chup reh na yaar. 5 second pehle hi toh maine taareef ki thi. let me at least have some more time to genuinely mean it.

this house is genuuuuuuuinely too clean to have been abandoned 25 years. i’m sorry but i cannot get over it.

..... no someone srsly explain to me from a medical/psychological point of view what exactly anika’s mental situation is/was? like, she didn’t remember anything about her father or home for 25+ years and now suddenly she even remembers what songs dad used to play on the radio and how good her dad’s cooking was? she now remembers that mom died giveng birth to chutki, but there was a moment where she thought nayantara could genuinely be her mom. is this some kinda PTSD/retrograde amnesia combo or what?

his slight smile at her happiness at memories tho. sigh.

aaaaaaaaaand the guilt is back. in fullllllllllllll force.

oh no. truth time. dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn.

oh bb girl. oh honey.

also, verrrrryyyyyyy interesting: callback/parallel to the pose they assumed when she FIRST revealed about not ever knowing her family and the hardships she’s fought against because of it.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TURN THE LIGHTS OFF FOR THE SURPRISE WHEN YOU KNOW SHE’S DEATHLY SCARED OF THE FUCKING DARK YOU MORON

chalo achcha hai, omRu have SOME skillz at least.

god i want cake now.

ONE MORE MOTI JOKE OMFG I WILL FLY MY ASS DOWN TO MUMBAI AND FUCKING BURN THIS WHOLE FUCKING SHOW DOWN I SWEAR TO THE LORDS ABOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

yeah okay sappy cute. this shit does nothing for me anymore. either break my fucking heart, or give me the tharak. this cute bullshit don’t work on me no more.

lmaoooooooooooo oh man

this would be an excelllllent meme image for this show.

“me looking for sense and logic in this show”

“rikara fans looking for rikara in this show”

so on and so forth....

these two’s babies would have very nice smiles. just saying.

lmao this buaaaaa sooooo damn bittttterrrrrrr. bua get a damn hobby, man. like maybe hairstyling or something.

OMFG WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF CAKE I HATE YOU PPL THERE’S CAKELESS PPL DYING IN THE WORLD (me)

“haye haye, itne gusse mein kyun hai???” lmao bua have you met him? his default factory setting is gussa. you have to be at least lvl 4 to unlock amicable feelings.

daaaaaaaaaaaang, bua just went straighttttt to the point.

this buaaaaa keeps spilling secrets soooooooo insouciantly.... like so casually she dropped that veer is her son. now she’s dropping that she has HVT’s suicide note. like surely it would be better to just keep these things to yourself and use them as fucking bombs? why would you give them away?

LOL SHIVAAY’S DRAMATIC READING OF THE LETTER AS IF HE’S PERFORMING SHAKESPERE ON THE STAGE.

aur bg mein bua ke reactions. too gooooood. overdramatic chutiyaapa runs in the oberoi blood.

i reaaaalllllllllly don’t understand his belief of HVT’s innocence. based on fucking what? this is as nonsensical as anika’s belief that shady 4 didn’t set the fire, despite all proof being against them? like, JUST coz these ppl birthed your boo thang doesn’t mean that they’re innocent of shit they’re being accused of????????

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO SHE JUST KEEPS PULLING OUT COPY AFTER COPY AND THIS DUMBASS KEEPS DESTROYING IT AS IF SHE WOULDN’T HAVE MORE COPIES.

lel same, roop. #same.

WHY DOES THIS BUA KEEP TELLING SHIVAAY ALL HER SECRETS????? LIKE.... IS SHE JUST REALLY LONELY, AND SHIVAAY’S THE ONE PERSON WHO LISTENS TO HER THESE DAYS?

that signature they showed in the fb looks nothing like the one in the letter shivaay was reading.

daaaaamn khooooooni bua just killed two of shivaay’s girls’ dads. in one nightttttt.

DUDE I LOVE BUA’S CONFIDENCE. DID SHE RAISE SVETLANA OR WHAT? ONLY ONE STRONGASS CRAZY BITCH COULD HAVE SPAWNED ANOTHER ONE. maybe that’s why svetlana calls veer her bro!

fully subscribed to this headcanon!

the face of a man who knows he’s thoroughly and absolutely FUCKED.

12. 04. 18

i say send the khud ke maa baap to jail. they could use some jail time to get their heads screwed on right.

OK TOO FAR BUA. TOOOOOO FUCKING FAR.

oh ho ho ho jo karna hai kar lijiyeeeee and all. i like my man’s (misplaced) confidence.

BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING I LOVE BUA’S CONFIDENCE. FUCKKKKKKK HOW TO GET SOMEEEEEE

TELL ME GAURI WALKS IN SEES ALL THIS STUFFFFFFFFF AND FUCKING BRINGS OUT HER PICCCCCCCC AND THEY REUNITE OMG JUST GIMMMMME THIS ALREADYYYYYYYYYYYY

god shivaay just fucking tell them....

WHATTTTT THIS IS THE MOST LAMEASS DIVERSIONNNNNNNN COVERUPPPPPPPPPP

OH GOD SHIVAAAAAAAY COULD YOU BE MORE SHADY YOU DUMBASSSS

onceeee they find out they’re soooooo gonnnnna fuckkkkkkk anika over oh godddddddddddddddd

like ok however powerful shivaay is, i find it hard to believe he can get everything erased from the damn internet. bitch, plz.

someone’s in a loveyyyyyyyyy mood.

lol look at her jankyass but cute little label with her name on it.

cute belly poke!

“yehi meri naam, khoon, khandaan, aur pehchaan hai. bohut saal bitaaye hai maine is naam ke bina.”

AAAAAND THEY RUINED IT WITH THE FUCKING “YEH TOH AAPKA BADAPPAN HAI” BS. GIRL HONESTLY HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN HOW THIS MARRIAGE STARTED OR WHAT???? LIKE.... WHAT KINDA FUCKERY...... (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

........ AGAINNNNN EXPLAIN TO ME HOW SHE SUDDENLYYYYYYY REMEMBERS ALLLL THESE DETAILS ABOUT HER DAD. LIKE....

ugh maaaaaaaaan the angggggggggst. FUCKING DO YOUR JASOOSI QUICKLY ALREADY SHIVAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY

god now what’s fucking bhavya’s deal nowwwwwwww.

UGH THIS FAM AND IT’S EXTRA AF BS

aw, shivaay’s as choked up as she is.

THE SHOW IS FINALLY REDEEMING PINKY PROPERLY ITS FINALLY REDEEMING PINKY SDLFKJSDLFKJSDLFJSLDJFLSD THIS IS NOT A DRILLLLLLLLL

the scene’s being ruined for me with the frequent cuts to jhanvi. i really hate her. at least gimme more of rikara’s beautiful faces in these scenes rather than these other waste characters.

ok us baat par, obligatory beautiful faces waala break:

jfc. an angel. an actual fucking angellllllll sent from heaven above.

ok back to regular programming:

THIS IS ALLLLLLL IVE WANTED FROM THIS SHOWWWWWWWWWW AB JUST GIVE ME ANIRI AND KHATAM KAROOOOOO PLEASEEEEEEE LET ME JUST LIVE IN PEACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BAS KHATAM KAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

GOD I’M JUST WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP THOUGH, FOR WHEN THEY FIND OUT SHE’S THE FOREMAN’S DAUGHTERRRRRRRR THEY’RE GONNA TURN ON HER SOOOOOOOO FASTTTTTTTTTTTT

only took two weddings and both of them taking bullets for each other and drowning and being buried alive and jumping out of a plane and vanvaas and god knows what other hell, for finally getting mom’s acceptance. such is the life of a raja beta.

FINAAAALLLLLLY WE HAVE THE AUNTY NAHI, MAAAAAAA BOL TROPEEEE

jfc is pinky dying after hearing MAA or what????? is she ok?????

ok this scene just became hellllllaaaa overdramatic for NO reason?????

SHAKTIJI IS LIKE OK I ALSO WANT TO BE PART OF THIS TIME FOR ME TO REMIND YOU I’VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU MORE THAN ALLLLL THE REST OF THESE FUCKERS.

...... god i’m dying of cringeeeeeeee at these fuckers realizingggg who her dad issss. please god let them be decent human beings and not turn on her. please. PLEASE!!!!!!

I CAN’T BELIEVE SHIVAAY STILL HASN’T PUT THE GAURI IS CHUTKI CLUE TOGETHER YET. DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YO DUMB ASSSSSSSS

oh no they’re realizing, they’re realizingggggggg

GOD SHIVAAAAY YOU’RE SO FUCKING SHAAAAADY AND BAD AT THISSSSSSSSSSS

god this kul patri garbage again

my baby looks soooooo happy though. and alll my other happy babiessssss. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

FUCKING GIMME ANIRIIIIIIIIIII ALREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

ab toh billu ka 34th bday bhi aaa gaya (chala bhi gaya kya?) will they now finally do that kulgothra poooja or whatever to make his life lesssss chaotic and messy???/ please do. please fucking doooo. 

13. 04. 18

ok finally. the fucking episode i sat through all this other garbage for. GIVE ME THE SEXXXXXXXXX!!

poor billu can’t enjoy cuddles from happy lovey wife because of manhoos bua. keede pade tujhpe bua.

ugh you’ve promised her this khushi BS like 40 times already and always fucked up. maybe just promise it to yourself this time, so at least she isn’t heart broken when you break it. again.

first of all, it’s a stupid fucking promise in the first place. you can’t reasonably promise over shit you have no control over. I’M SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A CYNIC BUT THEM’S THE FACTS OK

lelllll, wife is in The Mood™. that is patent boy-you-about-to-get-realllllll-lucky face.

OK I’M SORRY TO INTERRUPT AND RUIN THIS, BUT I GET SO ANNOYED WHENEVER THERE’S A KISS AND SHE LEAVES HER LIPSTICK/GLOSS ALL OVER HIM. LIKE Y’ALL TOO CHEAP TO SPRING FOR THE TRANSFERPROOF STUFF FOR THE ONE SCENE EVERY 6 MONTHS OR WHAT???? ffs. ek toh this man’s skin is so pale ki he’s almost translucent. light theek na ho toh bhoot lage. uske upar se yeh alag chutiyaaapa.

ok sorry. back to the sex.

THOSE SOME PRETTY SULTRY FUCK ME EYES ANIKAAAAAAAA

uhhhhhhh huh, get it billllllluuuuuuuuu. you kisss that neck. kiss it gooood.

OUFF YAAR KOI YEH MANHOOS DUPATTA TOH HATAAAOOO, WHO THE F WEARS DUPATTA IN BED????????????

finally. it’s slipping off!

AND IT’S OFF. HALLELUJAH. JAI MATA DI LET’S ROCK!!! 

OH HO HO HO HO PLOT TWIST, SHE SHALL BE DOING THE NECK KISSING TONIGHT. WIFE’S IN CONTROL TODAY. HOLD ON BILLU!!!!!

lmao, A+ sanskaari sex face, shivaay.

billu’s long-forgotten hand fetish has also come out to play tonight!

OHNOEOHNOEOHNOE BONER KILLING BUA THOUGHTS NO NO NO DON’T RUIN THIS FUCKING NO GET YOUR HEAD BACK IN THE FUCKING GAME OBEROI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(literally, “the fucking game” kekekeke)

phew thankfully wife takes controlllllllllllllllll and seals the deallllllllllll

THIS WAS THE SEX SCENE WE DESERVED, instead of whatever the fuck laal ishq was. it mighhhht have just unseated the pool waala hotness for me because yaaaas, this scene had female agency and desire and taking control and just a refreshing lack of  “shivaay yeh aaaap KYAAAA kar rahein haiiiii?????” THANK YOU. AT LEAST THE ONE GOOD SEX SCENE FROM THIS GODFORSAKEN SHOW. NOW GIMME RIKARA SEX

NOW ALL I ASK OF YOU IS THAT THEY USED PROTECTION THIS NIGHT; COZ THESE FOOLS STILL NOT READY TO PUT A BABY IN THE INSANE ROLLERCOASTER THAT IS THEIR DAILY LIFE. PLEASE LORD, DON’T LET HER BE PREGNANT. PLEASE I BEG OF YOU.

LMAOOOOOOO MAYBE IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR TRUSTING A SECURITY GUARD WITH THIS INSTEAD OF A REAL PROFESSIONAL???

ouff this damn buaaaaaa.

lmao, i’m just checking his neck for hickeys. anika seemed pretttty into the neck kissing last night.

how the fuckkkkk is that suicide note even credible? like that signature was very obviously obtained under duress. matlab kuch bhi.

lolololol “bore ho rahi thi” - villains who fuck shit up justtttt for shits and giggles are my faaaaaav.

lmao what the fuck do you mean saari media ko khareeedna pade????

WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS MAN, HE CALLS THE POLICE AND IS LIKE YOU’RE GONNA GET SOME EVIDENCE. IT’S FAKE. *I* WILL TELL YOU WHO THE CULPRIT IS IN A BIT. LIKE...........

LMAO MY GOD ALL THE DAANT JOKES I CAN’T HANDLE. FROM HIS DAANT PEESNA TOH DAANTON MEIN BEAUTYYYYY!!!!! WHOEVER IS WRITING ALL THESE META JOKES IN, +10 TO YOU AND ONLYYYYYYY YOUUUUUUUUU.

again...... why the fuckkkkkkk would you TELLLLLLLLL him this roop??? like, wouldn’t it have been better to let him think he’s won, and then have this as a backup plan?

SHIVAAY YOU DUMBASS WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DRIVE ALL THE WAY BACK FOR THIS INSTEAD OF CALLING OMRU AND TELLING THEM TO INTERCEPT

jfcccccccccccccccccccccccccc. in the nick of fucking timeeee.

... ok that’s the lamest reason possible.

wife knows something’s up. alllll the way back for a hug? not even a kiss with some tongue? seems like a raw deal.

STOP BABBLING SHIVAAY. GOD YOU’RE THE WORST LIAR EVER. EVER.

not amused. not fooled. that face is just screaming fuckkkkkkk youuuuuu.

ok that was most contriveddddd drop of MS ever; but call me a sucker. i fucking love this trope in this show ok. i just do. whenever this happens it’s like.... reassuring, ki ultimately they’ll make it through okay.

guh. i’m not in the clutches of this show and couple like i used to be, but stilllllll, some moments reallllly fucking get to me man.

oh ho ho ho, look who went from not being able to physically spit out the words “i love you” to freely saying “main tumse bohut pyaar karta hoon”! good on you billu. +10 points to slytherin!

goddamnit billu you’ve got her thinking you’re fucking dying or some shit. stop scaring a girl like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JFC SHIVAAY. LIKE ANIKA’S A WAY STRONGER WOMAN THAN ME COZ THIS WHOLE SPEECH WOULD HAVE MADE ME COLLAPSE IN A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK TO RIVAL ALL FUCKING PANIC ATTACKS. THIS IS NOT HOW YOU FUCKING BREAK NEWS TO PPL.

AND @ ALL THOSE PPL WHO’RE LIKE OH SHIVAAY’S AN AWESOME HUSBAND (ESP. COMPARED TO OM) LOOK AT ALL HE DID, THIS IS WHY I’M LIKE NAAAAAAH. LIKE, I’LL RESPECT THAT HE WANTS TO PROTECT HER. BUT IT PALES IN THE LIGHT HE’S STILL WITHHOLDING STUFF FROM HER, STUFF THAT SHE IS ENTITLED TO KNOW BECAUSE IT’S PERTAINING TO HER LIFE. THIS IS ANIKA’S FIGHT TO FIGHT.  NOT HIS. HIS JOB IS TO SUPPORT HER IN THAT FIGHT, NOT FIGHT IT FOR HER. MAN, JUST TELL HER THE FUCKING TRUTH, HOW MUCH EVER YOU KNOW. ROOP BUA IS VEER’S MOM. SHE MURDERED TIA AND YOUR DADS’ AND SET THE MILLS ON FIRE COZ SHE’S A CRAZY BITCH. THERE. DONE. HONESTLY. INSTEAD, AS ALWAYS, THIS GUY IS INFANTILIZING HER AND KEEPING STUFF FROM HER AS IF SHE’S SOME CHINA DOLL. HAVE YOU MET ANIKA? SHE’S THE STRONGEST EVER. YOU FUCKING FALL APART TO PIECES EVERY TIME YOU GET SOME SHADY NEWS ABOUT YOUR FAM. WHO THE F GAVE YOU OF ALL PPL THE RIGHT TO KEEP SHIT FROM HER??????

never thought i’d say this, but in this matter even rudra proved to be smarter than shivaay (+om.) gawd.

she’s also a dumbass, promising based on knowing fucking nothing.

OMFG I CANNOT BELIEVE RUDRA IS YET AGAIN BEING THE FUCKING SMARTEST ONE HERE WITH ALL THE CORRECT ANSWERS AND EVERYONE IS JUST IGNORING HIMMMMM. 

oh ho ho ho ho billu picking anika over family.

only in name tho. warna let them go to jail na.

blah blah blah dono bhai blah blah blah who will aid and abet in lying and concealing the truth fuck y’all

lolololol i read on IF that apparently bua’s “pasand ki ladki” is gonna be........ SVETLANA, and tbh, i cannot stop cackling and clapping in delight. this is going to be fucking hilariousss and funnnnnn.

LMAOOOOOO BUA’S SASSY INCREDULOUSNESS AND STRAIGHT UP “WHY THE FUCKKKKKK WOULD I MAKE THIS DEAL WITH YOU”

LOLOLOLOL WHO’S CHARLIEEEEEE, AND MY GOD EVEN HEEEEE KNOWS ALL THE SECRETSSSSS LIKE.... AT THIS POINT ONLY SHE DOESN’T KNOW.

damn shivaaay, what a kachcha khilaadi you are if you think she’d give you the folder right then. like what kinda piss poor business man are ya???????

 mannnnn, bua’s really growing on me. like really really.

also oh ho ho ho ho. achcha write in to have shivaay disappear for a few days while nakuul’s on break. good. you can keep him bua. i guarantee ki kuch ghante baad aap hi khud usko khulla chod dengi, coz the man is insufferable. 

MEANWHILE THESE DUMBASSES ARE SHOUTING ABOUT THEIR PLANS IN THE LIVING ROOM LIKE OMGGGGG WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ITNE DINO BAAD DIALOGUE AUR FOOTAGE MILA HAI, FUCKING ABHI TOH AKAL SE KAAM LO

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I remember when dad couldn't pick me up after our 2nd transfer bus got pulled out from dropping me and the other kids in my neighborhood. It was bus 130.

That whole end of my 7th grade year, I walked the way home by myself. I cut through northern high parking lot and around that big ol' man made water basin that they had there. It stood across the view of a gas station and a Publix. Man, did they have some good ass chocolate chip cookies, not too hard and not too doughy. It was like a soft, hard cookie dough cookie that barely browned in the oven, but just enough for the thick chocolate chunks to melt in your mouth with that buttery dough. I never walked over there though because...mom wouldn't have allowed it...and I was way too scared and nervous to run across the street with those cars there. (Vs now, I do that as a fun, little escape running super speed as soon as the walk light comes on lol 😆 mom and dad think I'm nuts for doing that cause they're afraid I could get hit. But when you blast Jasiah, Denzel Curry, and Suicide Boys in your Ear you feel like you can do anything. So I kick in nitro)

Anyways, the walk was about two to three miles, and at the time that was the longest mom and dad had ever let me walk by myself. Mom wasn't there because she had already moved to Mississippi for her new job. I wanted to help out Dad, since he had to pick up my sisters from school at the same time I got to our base for school bus dropoffs. It was so fun back then to ride the school bus. I always sat near the window, or at least tried....I hated sitting by people I didn't know because I was afraid people were gonna make fun of me for being big or having sweaty armpits. I have noooo idea why, but even my sisters went through it to around their puberty time. It's like our glands produced so much more sweat when we were stressed, working out, or just barely even sweating in Florida. Like all of my shirts always had this itchy, cracked, dry spots in the armpits because I had to swipe sooooo much deodorant on it was crazy. I remember counting it out, like 16, 27 times I would whip cream my damn armpits because kids make fun of you for being fat, now everytime they saw my sweaty, funky pits and yes they used to get that bad it was annoying as hellll. And Bighead used to make fun of me for that. I used to call him all types of names cause he was such an asshole to me and my friends, practically tortured me for fun all through out middle school until we later on had to move to Mississippi too from Florida.

I walked that walk because I never wanted to put my pride to the side and just ask Bighead, the idiot who lived in the same neighborhood as me, like I literally stayed about 10 min walk away...and I could see him and his mom and his sister, who I was friends with...drive pass me each and every day. I would listen to music on the radio with my earbuds in my turquoise mp3 player. They kept playing "There goes my baby" by Usher alot at that time.

I even remember reading The Giver on the walk home, because I really didn't wanna miss my favorite home TV shows like iCarly, sometimes Arthur or whatever cartoons on Cartoon Network.

I used to think about Bighead alot when that song would play at the same time his mom drove by. I still hated his guts though, always picking on me, being a hassle...it was a honest waste of a crush to have even liked him. He never changed as I found out later on in high school when we both reached back out to each other, on and off. Total jackass. Probably a narcissist...

Speaking of books, Ms. Simmons gave us this book about the holocaust called Night by Elie Wiesel. It was a good book and Im shocked crazy earring Ms. Simmons thought it was ok for us to read about kids and people getting hung, but I was glad she did. It had an audio book that cams with it, I almost wanted to watch it if they ever made it into a movie.

I think Ms. Simmons might have inspired me to wear different, quirky earrings like that. Cause she was the 1st white woman I ever seen wear them like that or even asymmetrical earrings. She loved alot of color and if she wore cherries, she had cherry earrings, sorta like that. Matchy-matchy. She even had a candy cart after school so I sorta liked her for being creative. That was until she pissed me off about a test,

And I don't play about my tests.

My ass was on the line, that's why.

I hated getting bad grades at home, because who do you think starts checking up on you more??

Yea, and I hate being micromanaged...if I even got a C or a low B, dad would lecture me on doing a better job cause he didn't want my grades to fall 😒 I always tried to explain myself when I felt like it was an unfair grade cause some people put trick questions or essay sections. And I used to hate those. Now I double check everything and I have alot more to say, instead of being afraid that I'll get it wrong, fucking up my chances to get a closer chance at an A or a B. Daddy said to always go for A's, always do your best. But that meant cramming my short term, photographic memory with alot more papers and notes.

Boy did I used to hate taking notes. Now after everything, I see I need notes to keep up on knowledge and bullshit from misinformation given to me by other people.

I used to actually be so innocent, only caring about not disappointing my parents and not making them look bad when we go to school or go out with them in public. And of course kicking Bighead in the nuts everytime he made me feel like the ugliest girl in school just because he made a comment about my fat rolls popping out in my bright, tight, stretchy cotton tshirts or from me not smelling good from being sweaty 🙃 he had a whole bunch of people I didn't even know, just laughing at me just because he made it seem like it was ok for them to laugh at me because he was. He started it. And it kept going 6th and 7th grade...it followed me all the way until I....well until I realized Darius wasn't my person either 😑

Fairytales and movies blew up these love scenarios, and even in anime or Korean dramas (based on Japanese anime) where the quiet, shy girl ends up falling for the aloof, emotionally unavailable guy who's cute and he's popular, "but oh, he would never talk to me or look at me that way" sighhhh, babygirl feeling.

Then at the end he reveals his true feelings and it turns out he made her suffer and wait for him for so long, just because he was too shy to tell her or too ashamed because he didn't want to be made fun of by his friends. And then they kiss and live happily ever after.

That's what the old me in middle school and high school used to think of love in high school was like. Boy, was I stupid 🤣 that's the most dumbest shit I ever heard. People wtfff???!! Why the fuck is it expected for us to be submissive, take this boy's bullshit and commital issues to just you, as if him showing you any kind of attention is worthwhile the wait as if he's the best thing in the world, letting you into his circle like he's vip. Which is not true. Because when you look at somebody like that for so long and then you let them get away with treating you like shit, just because you like them...is so not cool and you deserve better. Looks can only last so long.

And maybe that's why I had to look at that lesson again from somebody like Jay, chubby, but cute, but still not as masculine as Bighead, where at home in Florida, boys who didn't care about you as much, athletes, and mixed/black/white/Asian skinnier people were popular and you weren't....because of your clothes, shoes, your big hands, big feet so you had to wear boy shoes, your thick, strong legs, your height, your double chin, your sweaty gland disorder from puberty, your fat rolls on your back, and even your backpack....was not cool or even popular.

You were different so you just didn't fit in with everybody. But it made me feel alone, cause nobody new looked at me, talked to me, or even asked me where I got my new Adidas (cause I actually did like Adidas).

After awhile I stopped caring and didn't care to give new people a try. I'd rather eat by myself than to eat with people who made me feel unwelcome with stares, stressing me out because I don't know what they're judging me on or was gonna comment on me next. It was so aggravating for me just to speak to someone random unless we had to because of class. I really don't remember nobody was calling me ugly, but just for them to comment on anything little thing or how my hair looked like momma did, really hurt.

And it was mindfucking me. Because the people I ended up running away to, did the same thing as them. Reminding me of home in Florida, where comments felt like mom's pinches. Reminding me that I'm not doing a good enough job of representing her, or just looking good enough to be liked or told I looked great today. Because I rarely got compliments until I got a perm redid, or I got braids. I'm glad I rebeled against perms because my ends kept breaking off and I would hate how rough the texture would get and I wore bonnets/wraps that kept falling off because I'm a wild sleeper, always kicking and moving around. Maybe that wasn't a good mattress match for me idk....but taking care of permed hair was so frustrating. They said don't use too much heat to flat iron or flat iron too much, but your hair don't look good as is, not being straight and I hated how that Florida humidity would poof up my hair because our school was not an all indoor school. There was only the 7th grade hallway and the gym in AC, but everything was fucking outdoor, concrete style. So you was always hot, always sweaty. So not the same in Michigan. I always thought I looked like Dora with my orange tan and black Bob hair. I never liked taking pictures in middle school because I felt so ugly just because no boy at school had asked me out, and the boy I wanted was a little ass, scrawny, bony bully, picking on me at school for how I looked and how I dressed, and my sweaty, funky pits and even my boobs. He made me hate my big boobs. He always made fun of them in how I ran when he would pass me on the track with his friends. It was hard enough to have older boys say something when you got DD's at such a young age....I hated them. I would have donated mine to the girl with A cups because I hated them being made fun of or being commented on. It was embarrassing for me when ppl would ask me what size are they and I felt pressured to say what size. I hated when a group of people would come up to me to say something, I would go defensive, excited, anxious, tense, and then almost ready to fight if they said something I didn't like to hear cause constant criticism made me not wanna hear any of it. And mom didn't make it no better "do you want people talking about you?" It was just a hassle to please her and she almost always bought clothes that either felt uncomfortable to wear, but was cute for her, so she made me wear it, or she just wanted it because of the patterns she liked. I rarely had a choice or say in anything. And that I didn't like too, because it's my body. But to them, it belonged to them and I had to do what they said. Wearing clothes that felt unreal, unmanageable because most of it in my closet weren't really mine, they were hers.

I guess she got the memo, so she started doing gift cards. I can't believe I used to wear fuchsia or hot pink so much and my skin color down there looked like a browned, golden-orange. We used to wear alot of orange and bright green too. Green and gold used to be mom's favorite colors. It reminded me of Christmas 🎄 which I also miss too.

Christmas in Florida used to be the greatest because we had a house full with aunty and uncle and the cousins. Flint used to feel the warmest because when we visited got the holidays, everybody was there. All in one place. We were together, celebrating, eating homemade country style, traditional food all night long, with the kids in my other grandma's basement watching movies and playing games, and the adults upstairs. I always felt like the baby and later on the middle child between both, child and adult.

And I'm kinda seeing now I got stuck this way, people pleasing towards both sides, between the adults and the kids because I was so used to being the middle man, the negotiator, the even-steven, fair and square, Charlie Brown in my family as being the oldest. I always felt the need to keep both sides on one accord, because sometimes we misunderstood each other. Cause that's the way dad brought it to me, he was Mr.negotiator between me and my mom growing up. He got to have fun and play games and sports, watch cartoons with me as a kid, and then at home with mom he would do romantic, adult stuff for mom like drink out of these expensive looking wine glasses and chocolate strawberries 🍓

[wannawrite]

flower boy! BTS (series, with different members later on?? maybe??)

note: okay this is my first time writing a flower boy au! and idk am i supposed to write about a florist or some café idrk smh sighhhh im so sorry if i made any mistakes im such a beginner at these !!! :((

thanks to the person who requested this hehe i had a lot of fun writing this ily and im sorry i was so dead for a couple of days im on holiday but im flying back on wednesday so doNT WORRY GUYSSSSS and im going to be getting my seventeen album when i come home so pls clep for me :")))

okay anyway enough rambling here's my work, hope you enjoy ♡♡♡

___________

Dreamy, sky blue curls dangle round his forehead. His hair's like a little cloud-fluffy and light. It makes you want to run your hands through the tips of his hair, nudge it gently to one side and see it swish back again in tousled, tangled clusters. Coiling just a tad below the top half of his scalp is a twiny thin stem filled with little ridges; a lone flower located right on the bridge of his cute, button nose, where a small sliver of light can be seen outlining his baby faced, clear cut features. His sad, droopy eyes look even sadder when the sole of the older boy's shoe comes into contact with his insides-the brute force slapping him against the hard, unforgiving surface of the classroom wall with a loud thud before his limp, tired figure slides to the floor rather unelegantly. The tears in his eyes look like shattered glass as his head bobs forward from the impact of the kick fired at him-his solemn gaze almost begging.

Despite your slight anxiety of going through the torture that he had received reluctantly, you decide to make your opinion clear as the class monitor. The soles of your own shoes slam against the floor as you storm towards the older boy-eyebrows arched, adding onto an intense glare; which is the likes of dancing, threatening forest fires...

"Stop it."

(cue jin's S-T-O-P! I-T!)

He raises an eyebrow nonchalantly, the mocking twinkle in those crystal clear, pool-like eyes probably annoying the shit out of everyone, "How about you stop it? i bet you don't even know his name, class monitor." he sniggers, which hits a nerve-you're self-aware that you're bad at remembering names, and by the looks of things, he is too. The text on the list of class attendance starts swimming in your head...what was his name? You steal a glance at him before your eyes dart back into space-you probably don't know him well enough to remember his name. Was his surname Jeon? He did look like a Jeon. Classmates with Jeon for a surname...Wonwoo? Jungkook? Those thoughts are quickly replaced with a torrent of colourful language at the reaction of the older boy, whose gaze is transfixed on you smugly while a malicious smirk curls onto his lips. That is enough to send your adrenaline soaring. Your teeth gnaws against the bottom half of your lips as you try your hardest to suppress your anger.

"What does it matter if i know his name or not? You're even worse off, thinking its funny to hurt someone like that. What a lame sense of humour." is the only comeback that slips out of your mouth.

Ah, shit, that sounded so dumb.

"Dong. Sicheng."

You whirl around on your heel to see the teacher, her face contorted with fury and slight disappointment. Ah, maybe Sicheng's supposed to be a good kid, you think to yourself. However, just before your little period of self rumination can end, Sicheng's wrist is clasped around the tight grip of the teacher's aged, bony fingers. He's dragged out of the classroom with a pure look of annoyance written all over his face.

You heave a sigh of relief, and unexpectedly, catch a peek of the name weaved in tiny, intricate stiches onto the boy's uniform.

'Min Yoongi'

(ps. sicheng was dared by yuta to do this dw he's not totally at fault)

____________

"Go away." seems to be Yoongi's rather unique way of saying 'thank you'. The glare thrown at you is icy and defensive-his cute, droopy eyes which has narrowed into sharp angled ones make it all the more worse. You cross your arms as your lips jut out into a small pout-well, that sure was welcoming, wasn't it?

"Well, you're welcome, Yoongi-ah. I was only trying to help, and nice flower crown, by the way." Your eyes drift to the little orange blossom resting comfortably on those long, twining twigs. A transitory evocation of a cool, spring breeze and soft, sweet-smelling white bed sheets come to you as you digest its almost incomprehensible beauty. That one, lone orange blossom, held flimsily by a thread like stem, really stands out. Its milky white petals are the colour of purity and practically everything sacred. Its stigma, which is practically thousands of small, frilly tips bound together in clusters, is like a big, bushy paintbrush; donning a fresh coat of vibrant yellow. Ah, yellow, the colour of happiness and energy. A strong-willed urge to protect it starts boiling in you; but before you can reach a hand out to caress it gently, Yoongi steps back.

"No touching. It's precious."

"I know that!"

"And, stop making fun of me if you're going to help me."

You raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean.?"

In a melodramatic, high pitched voice, with his lips jutted out ever so slightly, Yoongi squeals coquettishly, "Oh, nice flower crown, by the waaaaaaay!!! If that isn't the epitome of sarcasm, dear Y/N, I don't know what it is. Since it looks like I must, I'll tell you now that this flower represents my mother, who's toiling away at home to fund my education, so for heaven's sake, please stop mocking it. Good day." he ends. Yoongi's voice and gaze is like one long, icy dagger-it sends involuntary shudders down your spine before he turns on his heel and storms away.

However, you grab his wrist, inwardly determined to prove your innocence. "Hey, come on. Do you really think I'm that dumb to stand up for you just to make fun of you again? Making fun of you is what Sicheng did, not me."

Despite your constant badgering, Yoongi eventually swatts away your hand, a thin lipped frown 'gracing' his face. He deadpans, "Hey Y/N, if you want a word with me, I'll tell you one now; goodbye."

You let loose an exasperated sigh and shrug as you see the scrawny, cute flower boy from today walk away hastily, probably wanting to get out of your sight as soon as possible.

"Well, I did try."

a/n: sicheng's wearing blue contacts

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 12: “Phase One: Get the Grandma’s Boys Back Together” - Jones

I have thoughts.

1 I still feel bad for telling Tom to fuck off but also,,,,, I don’t ???

2 I hate that I’m the one who has to apologize to *****these men***** when they were the ones who apparently threw me under the bus in the first place

3 I miss Julia

Ok I don’t feel like doing the number thing anymore that shits dumb.

Um if Mitch is gonna let an alliance slide through the cracks again he’s not playing hard like he said, he’s just playing dumb and out of fear. Benj is probs gonna do whatever Mitch says tho so maybe it’d be better sooner or later to get one of them out before we split up the Jason/Tom/Ali trio

Speaking OF,, Julia went out saying that that trio is the biggest threat to win, but that’s only true about like,,, only Ali SKSKKDKF to me it’s kinda clear that Jason and Tom are Ali’s goats and they’re gonna be the easiest to beat for him in a F3/2 situation. Ali is by far the biggest threat to win and probably has been since Alex got voted out. Bc who doesn’t love Ali yk??? It’s gonna be hard to get him out but I feel like at least my 100% people (Caeleb and Mo as of this vote) would be down to vote him if he was the biggest threat.

Um also ??? These guys REALLY think Alex left with the durmitor idol???? Which is SO shocking because I cannot keep a secret for my life and I’m so easy to read. But um that’s a plus for me tho so woohoo? I’m not gonna tell anyone else ab it tho Bc,,,, obviously. This cast is messy as fuck I don’t want anyone else that I DONT trust to know about it. So I’m happy that my little inner durmitor triangle are the only ones that know.

I think this is mostly me rambling at this point so i’m gonna sign off I think.

okay so I really did a crap job of confessing last round, so I have a lot of catch-up to do.

so first off, i think i already confessed about this, but i have TWO IDOLS NOW jklasdfaf, the budva idol and the merge sapphire idol. like assuming i play them right, i can fast track myself to F6 already, which is SO EXCITING.

also... last vote was such a mess. so after the last vote, where i was left out-ish, in that Jones/Caeleb/Benj told me what was happening, but don't know that each other told me. Me and Julia (who was truly left out) talked, and I was genuinely hoping to group up with her. Benj suggested a F4 of me/him/Tom/Julia last round, and I was SO DOWN. Like I've genuinely wanted to work with Julia all season, I should have told her about the Alex vote, but I've been with her this whole time, so its frustrating what happened next.

So... I'm on call and Mo/Mitch tell me to vote Julia, and I agree, knowing I'm lying because I'm in a chat with Jason/Julia/Tom where we are trying to vote off Mo or Jones. But then Mo being shady, and I literally told Julia this to, tells Julia that everyone is voting her out, and Jones says Tom is who threw Julia's name out.

Julia. Goes. Nuclear. She goes on call, outs the alliance, says we are all shady and tries to blow up our games. I'm REALLY frustrated that she did that, because Mo/Mitch were literally voting her and we were stopping it, but she let them mist her. Also... I didn't want to vote Tom or Julia, they are both outsiders, as am I, and we needed each other. Tom/Julia were both not apart of the Jules vote, we just had a fight amongst the outsiders which... dumb.

Once Julia did that, I was sure Tom was gone, I was totally sure. But Tom managed to flip Mitch, which good for him. But I don't know how he did that, getting Mitch to vote with me, when Mitch has been paranoid about me above everyone else. But now... Mitch will likely be suspicious of me, Jones/Mo will know for sure that I'm targeting them, and I'm no closer to breaking up that group.

So now I'm confident I'll need to use the idol to fracture that group. A scenario I could see happening and working, is next round maybe Mitch/Jones/Mo/Benj and maybe Caeleb vote me, Tom/Jason vote Jones/Mo and I vote the other, which means my sapphire idol can both save myself and break up that group. I'll have to stay tuned on that one though.

This reward challenge flash game is very annoying, so I'm probably not gonna win. Considering how much I popped off for the last immunity, if I win two in a row, it might cause me problems. Hopefully the immunity challenge is do-able, because if I win that, I'm guaranteed a spot in FINAL SEVEN YAY.

I haven't done one of these in a while, but ideal bootlist moving forwards:

Jones > Mitch > Jason > Caeleb > Mo > F3: Me/Tom/Benj or F2: Me/Benj

And if I am voted out eighth, the order in which I would vote for people at FTC:

Mitch > Jason > Caeleb > Benj > Jones > Tom > Mo

also just wanna stay like... how much i stan jones? like we literally have not voted together pretty much at all across merge... but we stan?

she is just so much fun, like our game relationship... is fragile at best, but on a personal level I am and will remain a Jones WARRIOR.

Omg I no longer have the most votes cast for me cuz now Tom does. Even though 2 of Tom's votes are HIMSELF the bafoon.

I was not surprised to see Julia go last tribal. I of course did not vote for her, but her craziness kinda sealed her deal. Plus theres the curse within the curse of where someone who gets cursed initially also goes home (Alex, Jules, Julia). Lmao. But seriously, I voted Tom and he got really sad because we had a good thing going, but at the time no one was willing to be cemented on Julia, but Mo and Jones were cemented on Tom. So I went with the "confidence" and voted what I knew was more certain. However, Ali and Benj and Mitch all voted Julia. Ali and Benj are my closest allies so they let me know before tribal, but Mitch is a flip always been so. The two of them (Ali and Benj) are playing very well which makes me nervous. I either have to take control back in this game or start voting them off, even if that makes me a little cut throat. My other option is to let them vote off Mo next time (Benj's idea) and then have them drag me along and lose in FTC. Instead I think I'm going to get Mo, Jones, and Me to vote Mitch next round (taken he doesn't have immunity), with maybe Ali and maybe Tom but I think 4 might be enough. Then next round I work with Benj and Jason and Ali and Tom to vote out Mo. That puts me back in a strong position (I THINK BUT TRULY IM NERVOUS WITH ANY VOTE AND ALL VOTES IM JUST PRETENDING TO KNOW WHAT IM SAYING). I just hope Tom doesn't have it out for me after last time. That could make things hard, and I'll have to navigate trying to get Benj to wait to vote Mo and telling Jason, Benj, and Mitch a wrong vote.

I’m genuinely feeling confident in my score of 10 guesses, I don’t know what’s considered a good score but for me this is stunnin

Oh Jones, Caeleb and Benj tied for a score of 8? That’s cool... Happy for them... In all seriousness though I think Ali might of screwed himself over by doing the challenge drunk because this may very well be our lucky chance to get out a comp beast.

So... I didn't win immunity, which is a shame, but also probably good news, since if I won three challenges in a row, people would likely try and vote me at every opportunity.

I feel like I'm going to need to play one of my idols this round, which... is unfortunate, but also like kinda exciting? I think the ideal situation is that I play the sapphire idol, maybe in a way that since Tom/Jason have exposed votes, if Caeleb/Benj/Mitch/Jones/Mo vote me, and Tom/Jason vote one of Jones or Mo, I vote the other and send them home with one vote.

However, I'm not 100% sure I'll be getting votes, just since Caeleb and I are super close, so I don't see him super wanting to vote for me. I feel like if the plan was to vote Ali, Mitch would tell Benj, who would tell me, or Caeleb might not be down. Regardless, I'm very much expecting to have to pull out an idol tonight!

If I get my way tonight, I want Jones and Mo split up. As people, we love them both, but as players right now, they are too connected and have too much sway. If I got my way, I would want Jones out, since I think she is the glue between the Caeleb/Mo/Mitch, so would defo be worth getting out.

Just realised that if I play the sapphire idol, it gets rehidden which I do not want, so I might just have to play the budva idol if I'm getting votes tonight, which is frustrating but I'll have to deal with it sighhhh.

ding dong the witch is dead (ur welcome johnny)

confessing this because my brain is SO BIG, and I clocked this on call. Caeleb is the boyfriend of Matt who just won Kuwait. MY MIND IS SO POWERFUL

I've been meaning to write this all day but Tom fell asleep on call and I've been distracted the whole time. SO here we are

I'm also typing this out with Google whatever the f*** is Google voice??? So it might sound a bit robotic just bare with me here LOL.

but literally yesterday while I was doing the trash at work I was brainstorming probably one of my favorite moves I've ever and probably will ever accomplish ever?? I'm very excited about it, because it seems like it's going underway,,, like it might work?? and knowing my luck this shouldn't be happening but here we go,,

So phase one: get the Grandma's boys back together. So like,,, me Caeleb and Mo. we basically already trust each other with our entire hearts anyway and besides the Alex but we've stuck together on everything? So we might as well get the band back together you know what I mean? also they're probably the three people I trust the most and the three people that I really want to go to the end with for sure so that's how I'm feeling about that. Check that off the list.

Phase 2: get Mitch and Benj to possibly spill who the other side is voting for and or get them to vote for Tom or Jason. because quite frankly Benj and Mitch are a very obvious power duo and have floated through the middle the entire time and they've been together the entire game so it feels kind of obvious that they're working together. Plus benj told Mitch the plan about voting out Caeleb premerge, so it just feels like it's been a thing forever. call go to be honest thinking about it now, I feel is though we're going to figure out who Jason and Tom are voting for anyway because they do have to vote in advance? So as long as Benj and Mitch vote for who we tell them for, then phase 2 will be a success.

Phase 3: grandma's boys vote,,,,, ALI!!!!! sorry to say, Ali is by far the biggest threat in the game and probably has been for a long time? Not only is he amazing in challenges , but he has like one the best social games ?? Ever???? So no one would Want to vote out Ali, but it's like,,, the best move I think to do now . Esp bc he doesn't have immunity.

And then,,,,, optional step 4: play my idol. That way,,, we can guarantee that a tie scenario doesn't happen,, and then in the split Ali would theoretically go w 3, but if an idol is played either way on them, one of those two will go. SO YA HOPEFULLY THIS PLAN ACTUHLY WORKS HAHAHAHAHA

Update!!! So like I think im in an ok spot. I was the sole vote to send home Julia because I found her unpredictable and she voted me the round previously so.... This vote should be between tom and one of jones/mo/caeleb because they are an obvious trio and im pretty sure one of them has an idol. If there is an idol played and it is flushed, the trio of mo/caeleb/jones is broken up. If it isnt flushed, we intend to do a 3-3-2 with Benj Ali Tom Jason and I splitting between two of them. Id prefer if Jones stays because I feel like I have the best connection with her out of the three, but I also fear that they have gotten closer and closer ever since we have merged. We will find out what happens shortly because as of now, there is still no definitive plan