#simply setting boundaries

[valeriannnn]

I know little of the Keepers and their cultural norms, but I suppose it should not come as a surprise that matters of grooming and personal maintenance should carry a more pragmatic connotation for those who live in such isolation - or perhaps our friend is simply strange, regardless of his context. I must admit: it was no small comfort to me, in those frigid days heralding the twilight of the Dragonsong War, to discover that our champion did not share our Sharlayan intuition toward personal space. Our more guarded companions don't always share my gratitude for the attention, but I believe that after our long estrangement, even the coldest of hearts could not fail to be warmed by such a gesture.

Wolcred Week 2024 Day 1: Warmth | Home

ok as mentioned in the tags i didnt have time to render a complete scene for this but i found this old mspaint sketch that demonstrates the Vibe. tyagoa just walked up behind him after cleaning up from their meal

[rollercoasterwords]

hi! thank you for the kind words, i'm happy you're enjoying the fic. but i also want to use this message as an opportunity to talk about something/set a boundary that i haven't really known how to discuss, and i've blocked out your name because even though i'm not angry or upset with you, i want to make sure i'm not sending any hate back your way. 

i know that this message is well-intentioned, and i know you likely think it's nothing but a compliment to ask me to write more--after all, you're only asking me to write more because you enjoy the story so much! shouldn't that be a nice thing for me to hear? 

and like. i think that's why this is difficult for me to talk about. i don't want to come across as ungrateful or overly sensitive or like i don't appreciate the compliments, because i do. but at the same time, hearing someone say, "please write more of this fic for me, i love your writing so much!" is still hearing someone say "please write more of this fic for me!" like. 300,000 words is incredibly long. most novels are between 70k-100k words. a 300k word book usually takes years to write--years, and hundreds of hours of labor. maybe you chose that number randomly, or you're exaggerating for emphasis; but no matter how nicely you're phrasing it or how facetious you're being, ultimately this sort of message still puts pressure on me to produce a massive amount of writing in a short period of time. and even if you meant it as a compliment, it doesn't feel nice to me. being pressured to churn out hundreds of thousands of words makes me feel as though i'm being seen as a content-creation machine for the entertainment of others, and i don't like that. writing is a labor of love for me, but it is still labor--hours of time and effort that i'm putting into these works which i share for free, with no expectations of anything in return except maybe a few kind words from those who feel like reaching out. when i get messages or comments like this pushing me to write more, to write faster, it makes me feel as though my time and labor are not respected at all; as if there's absolutely no consideration for the amount of effort it takes to write the stories. which, again, makes me feel like i'm being viewed as some sort of fic-writing machine that can just pump out hundreds of thousands of words on demand for others' entertainment.

and none of this is helped by the tongue-in-cheek comment about how you're "suffering" waiting for updates. again, i understand that this was well-intended and maybe even a playful exaggeration that's supposed to be complimentary. but there are ways to tell me you enjoy my writing and eagerly wait for updates without telling me how much you dislike waiting between chapters. posting once a week is already a difficult schedule for me to maintain, and it's entirely possible that i'll need to take another break in the future or skip a week or something. i've been very clear about the fact that my update schedule is subject to change since i started writing the fic; that's just part of reading a wip. but when i get messages or comments like these with people telling me how they don't like waiting for updates, or comments directly asking me to post more than once a week, or--back when i did take a break--comments begging me not to take a break, it all adds together and builds up and creates this pressure to write more, write faster, post the new ch now now now. if you were the only person making this type of comment, it probably wouldn't bother me and i'd just respond and go "thanks lol" and move on. but the problem is that you aren't the only one--since more people have started reading the fic, i've consistently been getting comments like these, where the backhanded pressure to write more or write faster is couched in compliments. it's just so hard to wait for updates because i love your writing so much! i just want you to write more and post now and write faster because i love your writing so much! i know it's all well-intended, but none of it makes me feel good. it just makes me feel a mounting pressure to produce produce produce.

i feel like there are so many conversations happening in this fandom about how we need to treat writers better, where people go "the fandom is so shitty" and everyone goes "yeah!" but no one ever thinks they're part of the problem. and i think it's because everyone thinks the problem is like...really blatantly rude and entitled messages. and like, i get those too--people telling me they don't like a certain characterization and asking me to rewrite the fic; people repeatedly demanding that i write a certain fic for them; people just outright shitting on things i've written because they don't like it and for some reason think i want to know that. but none of that is super common. what is super common is the steady stream of comments and messages like this one, where they are so well-intended and don't see anything wrong with what they're saying because they think they're giving me a compliment. but all these "compliments" build up and create this pressure that hangs over my head to be constantly producing and writing, which is ultimately what leads to burnout and also makes me feel like i'm not being seen as a person so much as a machine. 

so like. idk. i'm not gonna try to speak for every writer in the fandom; maybe there are people out there who do appreciate this kind of message, who feel like it motivates them to write. but for me, i want to make it clear: i really don't appreciate being asked to write more or write faster or to write a certain trope/ship/etc; i am not a waiter taking your order at a restaurant. writing fic is not a service i'm providing for you that you pay me for in comments or kudos or messages or any sort of attention, because i am not writing for that attention in the first place. so when it comes to interacting with me, i'd ask that you reevaluate the way you give compliments and think about what sort of pressure you're putting on me, regardless of how well-intentioned your message is. again, no hard feelings towards you--like i said, this message probably wouldn't even register as pressuring to me if not for the fact that i get so many little comments like it, all from equally well-intentioned people who think they're just giving a compliment, all of which builds up together. 

anyway. all that being said. to answer your question: the fic will likely be four parts, not three as i originally intended. it will probably end up somewhere between 100-200k words based on the fact that we're already at 80k and i've only just started part iii, but i am not going to put pressure on myself to write a certain amount of words or hit a certain length. i'm just going to write what i want to write when i want to write, and share it as i want to share it. i'm happy to have you along if you want to be here, but if the cliffhangers or waiting for updates becomes too unenjoyable for you then there's no pressure for you to stay, yknow? no hard feelings on my end either way :•)

[artseniccatnip]

heya!! just to be clear, like i’ve said before, i don’t own the idea of a “wandersong but evil au” (not even in a theatrically evil kinda way,) but i do own my designs, dynamics, plot threads, and character names…

i’m so glad wanderfell has touched people’s hearts but this au and the charas are really special to me and are basically like oc’s now, (which i am actually developing them as a separate oc thing now too LOL)

i would like to make it clear that i enjoy fanart and interpretations of my au(s), (wanderfell and wanderscript) but please don't make spinoffs or claim them as yours

it is not a public domain au, the idea of the au doesn’t belong to me but the characters and plot do so please be mindful of that in the future…and please remember to always give credit to anything you make fanart of, not just au’s but in general, it’s the respectful thing to do

[jaymesyourplaything]

hi i'm jay; i mod jim moriarty @criminalisticonsultant. those who know me, keep my name private please.

i've been asked to speak of my side since i have been indirectly involved for awhile. i need to apologize; i have recently injured my hand and i will be typing one handed. i can't guarantee when i will post, or how often i may respond if anyone truly cares enough to keep asking questions. (actually most of it is written, i have been sitting on this for awhile. )

if you're here for slander or an angry opinion against either of my friends, @consult-sherlockholmes (sherlock for the character, ver for the mod @veritassempervincit ) or @consultjohnwatson (john, not nicknamed yet, but mod account @sherlockbbc-rp ) then this is not the place.

i am currently proof reading my most recent draft, - correction. (changed my mind ehe )

[soracities]

do you have any advice for being at the end of someone’s displaced anger? i am trying to be patient and loving to my sister who is taking trauma from our parents out on me & it is something i am struggling to cope with.

i'm very very sorry for what you are dealing with anon, i can't begin to imagine how difficult and painful this is for you: how old is your sister? and in what way is she taking it out on you? there is not much i can say without knowing the details of your situation (and even then i don't want to make any presumptions) however i do want to stress that being patient and loving doesn't mean you are not allowed to voice how her actions are affecting you, or set a limitation on how much you are willing to endure. you can acknowledge her pain and acknowledge that her manner of dealing with it is unhealthy and hurting both of you. you can love her and still be hurt by her and voice that hurt to her. again, i don't the details of what you and your sister went through or exactly how it's manifesting itself in your relationship, but if it's possible it might be worth looking to see if you can both get some kind of counselling for yourselves (it's a lot to deal with for you, too, anon)--i think sometimes when there is a lot of hurt and displaced anger, the easiest person to throw it all on is the person closest / most accessible to you by treating them as a substitute for the real cause; and in that case it may be more helpful to your sister to work through some of her hurt with a third party instead. again, i'm sorry i can't offer more, but i'm sending you love and support anon. you're trying so hard and that's no small thing, i hope you know that 🤍

[autisticlee]

the whole "you shouldn't identify as X, don't form an identity when you can't/don't know yet, you're too young, what if/you might change your mind!" etc etc. it's so silly when you think about it. what's wrong with changing your mind anyway? why did we all decide that gender/sexuality identity has to be static and can never change? why did we decide that it's a bad thing to change? because the old generation tells us change is bad? because they (mostly conservatives) want to conserve "the good old days/the way things are supposed to be" in their minds???

WHO CARES if someone says they're gay then realizes 5 years later they're bi. WHO CARES if someone says they're a girl and realizes after trying it out they're not. let people explore who they are until they figure it out even if they go through every lable available to them! maybe none fit and they make up their own! who cares! who cares if they change it every year for the rest of their lives! humans change. that's the only constant about us! why is it a bad thing, even taboo, to accept change and exploration within sexuality and gender specifically?

there's always so much shame that comes with someone realizing they were wrong, changing as a person, or discovering something new about themselves. i've seen people afraid to explore themselves more or afraid to talk about a change in identity, for fear of the queer community pushing back on them the same way they're afraid to come out to the cishets in their life who are trans/homophobic. that's just not fair that their own community can become hostile towards them, too. being in a closet within a bigger closet essentially. everyone is always told to figure it all out first before claiming an identity, because then you're locked in it for life, apparently. you can't change your mind after that. why though? what's the point of that really? why can't we embrace fluidity a bit more? why can't we accept that humans do change all the time? why is making and trying to prove that these identities are static/unchanging/innate the only way to validate them? why can't they just, I don't know, BE VALID. without reason. why must we jump through hoops to be valid when we should just automatically be valid because we are human. stop letting the cishets gatekeep everything, leading to us gatekeeping each other!

I am sometimes very hesitant to talk about my own identity. I identified as a gay/biromantic trans guy for like idk 8-10 years? transitioned and everything. then like a year or two ago, I realized/decided that doesn't fit right anymore. now i'm a nonbinary, but also kinda fluid, aroace person. sometimes I don't like to talk about that because of the stigma behind changing your gender/sexuality identities. but you know what. i'll talk about it anyway and people have to learn to accept it.

what were the consequences and bad parts about changing my mind/identity like that? none. absolutely none. (outside of people being weird about it for no reason) but the benefits are feeling more comfortable with myself, and that's no one else's business.

[serdtse]

//

[daybreakrising]

i had to listen to ignorant people spouting bullshit on the dog walk today so i am now in a very.... agitated mood, shall we say

gonna bury myself in some writing or something for a while and try to alleviate said mood

[swifty-fox]

re. prev reblog

As I'm approaching my thirties and being in fandom spaces and sharing ideas and thoughts with mutuals who are 19-25 I do be thinking a lot about how I was treated by people in their mid to late twenties when I was that young.

the 25 year old who dated me at 19 and emotionally abused me for two years or the 28 year old when I was 18 who used to sext me and flirt with me in a kinky manner without negotiation and yes they were things I agreed to but I was also 18/19/20 taking the cues of someone who I thought to be older and wiser than me.

It's just a very strange feeling to be the ages of those people and be like "wow I would NEVER do any of that what the fuck"

[mypimpademia]

I’m not even gonna address ts directly because I really don’t care enough to do so, but if this post reaches the person/people it’s about then they know who they are💀

This whole thing needs to die already bc it’s been going for almost a week now and it’s been blown out of proportion. It should’ve stayed off tumblr outside of everyone blocking each other and moving on with their lives.

But for me specifically, yes I blocked a lot of people and no they are not getting unblocked and no I will not be explaining myself💀even tho I won’t be explaining, I will say that I did block for reasons in relation to all this. But after I blocked all those people I really didn’t care anymore and I (and everyone else that was even slightly involved) just want it to stop being talked about.

Y’all keep talking about how all this is unnecessary and to stop inserting yourself if you had nothing to do with it, but even I didn’t have anything to do with this until multiple people started directly mentioning me for no reason. That’s when I got involved💀 to the people I broke mutuals with that are upset over me breaking the mutual, respectfully, I will not be compromising my own comfort just because you are upset. I very much enjoyed being mutuals and friends with you for the time that we were, but I broke it on my own accord and just wish y’all would stop talking about not just me but all of this because I never once mentioned any of you (not even in a sub post) before or after any of this and it really just needs to end😭💀

[arospecsyourblockdudes]

TMA fandom goes bonkers when anyone esp a woman character is “mean” to Jon ignoring that Jon is not a very good person sometimes and that plenty of other characters have good reason to be upset with Jon and that we only like Jon as much as we do because he is the protagonist and perspective is everything

[averagelonelypotato]

I want to improve on my personality and social skills so I can be a better me :D

[arealcrow]

imagine telling your favorite poet who you admire that they should be using tone indicators on twitter. bc you think they're being mean

[ablubluh]

the steven universe movie really does hit that frustrating combination of "wanna see how hard i can cry" and then an ending that makes me sooooo mad. so mad. those diamonds are NOT going to treat her right that girl is gonna be back in the garden within a YEAR

[sidhedust]

My biggest advice when it comes to art networking (in my limited experience) is to avoid people who want to be big shots/worship indie bigshots and avoid people that aren't making anything but want to be your friend/give advice/be in your circle. And if they're both of these types, run as fast as you can.

I find that these types can't even hide the fact that they want a connection without doing the work to...connect...it's like a mixture of clout chasing and wanting an ego boost at the same time. It's that desire to be able to say "look at me, I'm friends with (guy who Made It Big)!" or "I helped (This Bigshot I knew as a nobody) make their work with my advice!" while not really engaging with you or your work as a person/piece of art, because they really don't care and just want the boons of the connection.

Connections are a must, and I get that it's almost inherently self serving (a neutral trait/aspect of it-self serving =/= horrible reasoning or that one is a bad person), but when making connections I think it's important to still care and devote time to knowing the person/their work or line of work, instead of feeling entitled to the connection without that time and care. If you don't care about the person's work or line of work, you can't be mad when they detect this lack of care and go elsewhere/stop coming to you or feel dissatisfied with the connection.

Avoiding people that show signs of not really desiring to connect (and really CAN'T connect with you since they aren't making much of anything) can save a lot of time and bellyaching by recognizing people going nowhere. Take it from someone that learned the hard way. I'm happy it happened though, since now I know better and have a more healthy circle art wise, and I can inform others on how to avoid these people as they connect to others on the web over their art.

[maplesyrizzup]

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