#sin bin sIN BIN S I N B I N

[learnukrainian]

Ukrainian, Lesson 24: Alphabet

Let's take a step back. This lesson is for those who rely on the Latin transliteration/transcription of Ukrainian words but would like to learn how to read the 'original version' :).

Ukrainian alphabet consists of 33 letters that are used to convey 38 sounds. Some letters look similar to their Latin counterparts, even though the sounds they represent might be quite different. Let's take a look at the sounds letters make one by one.

A - [a] sound [as in 'army', for example)

Б - [b]

В - [v]

Г - it's neither g nor h but it sounds closer to h. Voiced glottal fricative, which is just a fancy way of saying 'imagine a voiced 'h' (voiced 't' is a 'd', for reference)

Ґ - somewhat sounds like a 'g' in 'gun'

Д - [d]

Е - [e] (set)

Є - [ye/ie] (yes)

Ж - [zh] (ź in Polish) - imagine the low buzzing sound bugs make

З - [z]

И- [y/ee] (Korean 으 is close to it) - sounds somewhat similar to short [i] in kin, sin, bin.

І - [ee] (ear, (shiba) inu)

Ї - [yi] - similar sound to the one in the word yield

Й - [y] - yield, yes, yarn

К - [k]

Л - [l]

М - [m]

Н - [n]

О - [o] (orange)

П - [p]

Р - [r] (Ukrainian [r] is a bit different but you can stick to your 'r' for starters)

С - [s]

Т - [t]

У - [oo] in boo

Ф - [f]

Х - [h]

Ц - [ts]

Ч - [ch]

Ш -[sh]

Щ - [shch]

Ь - soft sign, no sound; this letter softens the sound of consonants (palatalization occurs as a result)

Ю - [u] (you) :)

Я - [ya] (German ja)

_______________________

Above, I tried explaining the sounds UA letters make wihout giving you the names of the letters (i.e, 'l' is called 'elle' in Italian but it is not read that way; same story with 'y' being called 'ypsilon' in German or 'b' being called 'bee' in English).

In the following video you can hear: 1) the name of the letter, 2) the sound it makes, 3) example word.

Can you try writing your name using Ukrainian letters now? :)

[toukenramblings]

NSFW Headcanons | Tsurumaru, Shokudaikiri, Ookurikara

Warnings: HOLY DAMN NSFW, ME PROJECTING, AVERT YE EYES CHILDREN

man im going to hell

Tsurumaru Kuninaga

Homie, you’re never going to walk right if you’re fucking Tsurumaru. He is going to make sure that you are thoroughly fucked and there is no way to stop him. Of course he will only do it with your consent.

Out of all of the Dategumi, Tsurumaru is the most likely to use toys in bed. He’s the kind of person who probably will have a secret stash of them. How did he get them? Well, let’s just say he’s forever forbidden from computers and the bank account.

Speaking of those damn toys, Tsuru is also going to use them in public. He’s not as kinky as Kikkou per say lord knows how he is, but he has been going to the pink-haired male for some…ideas. They do surprise him. But do expect him to make you wear a vibe or a toy or vibrating underwear in public. He will always have the remote in his pocket and fiddle with it, smirking happily whenever he sees your reaction. He lives for it.

Will also try to fuck you in public, teasing you through your pants under a table and have the most shit-eating fucking grin when you fumble over your words.

“Dear master, whatever is the matter?”

Whenever you two are doing the do, don’t you fucking dare hide your voice from Tsurumaru. He wants to hear it. All of it. Will pin your wrists down, far far away from your lips and with his golden eyes boring into yours, slamming into you: “Don’t you dare hide your voice from me. I want to hear all of it.” He whispers it into your ear. “I want to hear you scream my name.”

Oh this dude is so fuCKING READY TO TRY OUT NEW KINKS. Bondage might be his fave though.

  Is a switch. Loves being on top but if you ask nicely he’ll be on the bottom. Does love it when you ride him though. His hands on your hips, rubbing circles into your skin, whispering praises into your ear. Gets turned on really easily if you switch your positions mid-sex, surprising him.

 Also loves praise, giving mostly.

  Horny little shit. Down to fuck anytime anywhere. Has a pretty high sex drive, you can expect to find him masturbating and your name whispered off of his lips whenever he gets into the mood. Will probably steal some of your underwear for this purpose.

  Cockwarming. Need I say more.

 If you two are fucking in a public place, well…

 “You had better keep your voice down,” a purr would drool from his lips as his fingers slide their way down to your sex, lithe fingers curling and twisting. “Or do you want people to hear and join us? To fuck you until you can’t remember anything else but pleasure?”

 Is also into overstim and orgasm denial.

 Do. Not. Tease. Him. He will immediately ensure that you cannot walk for days.

  He does love after care. Is big spoon during after care. Surprisingly, has a bottle of water and a cloth ready to take care of you after you do the do.

Shokudaikiri Mitsutada

Now, none of you cannot tell me that the image of Mitsu tied down with golden eye blown with lust, kiss swollen lips and a desperate voice begging you for his release wouldn’t make you want to top him. I want to top him so bad tf

  Needless to say, Mitsu is a switch but when he bottoms oh mAN is he needy. He isn’t as kinky as Tsuru but the way you just take command of him and his body and his pleasure? Ugh, he could just cum right then and there.

Power bottom Mitsu

Mitsu is SO into praise kinks, giving and receiving. Calling him such a good boy when you give him oral or him whispering nothing but praises into your ears?

 “You feel so fucking good.” “M-Master, please, will you touch me more?” “Ah! You’re so tight around me, you’re doing amazing my darling.”  

   You have never seen a man react to needy to praise during sex like holy shit. The way he bucks into your hand whenever you call him a good boy, or how good he feels inside of you, how his cock throbs?

To say that Shoku has a bit of a hand kink is an understatement. He finds your hands irresistible while his are rather…burnt and scarred. Gloves mostly stay on during sex but there is something about the roll of your fingers when you stick them down his mouth to suck and how they curl around his cock that just almost make him want to cum.

  Speaking of his gloves, if you have a glove kink- expect him to bite them just to taunt you. He wouldn’t be as cruel as Tsuru with teasing you but you almost think the crane influenced him. If you ask him to take off his gloves, he will be fine with it but will most likely prefer it when its dark and you cannot see how horribly scarred and burnt his fingers are.

  Is an utter gentleman in bed. Will ensure that you cum twice as much as he does. Oh so gentle, rough when he gets riled up.

He’s good at keeping his cool. But the minute you flash a hint of lingerie under your clothing? Oh, it takes all of his years of training to not just snatch you up and run back to your room and just slam you against the wall and fuck you until you can’t fucking walk.

King of after care. Praises do not stop when he’s wiping away the sexual juices, kisses pressed between you and cuddles afterwards.

Compared to Tsuru who is always in the mood and you can tell vs Ookurikara who is like impossible to tell if he’s horny or not, Mitsu is a wildcard. There are times when he seems like he is teasing you for no reason, hands lingering against your body for a little too long. Maybe a whisper here and there of a surprise for you later tonight….and then you come back to your room to find him in shibari/lingerie/has lingerie set out for you? Bye, you’re not seen for a week.

   Mitsu doesn’t mind toys but prefers using his own body to pleasure you. Can be trusted with your bank account and a laptop while looking for something for you to wear.

Very much into overstim.

Biggest kink? You wearing his suits and nothing else.

Ookurikara

 Ookurikara is a top. There is no fucking way you are going to get him to bottom. Not unless you tie him down and flip your positions on him. You will have to fight him for the position of top. But if you have Kikkou and the other Dategumi swords help you jump him to tie him up to make him bottom, oh man. He’ll pretend like he hates it, he love it though.

 Really loves it when you ride him.

VERY MUCH INTO ORGASM DENIAL AS “PUNISHMENTS”

Do you really deserve to cum? Silly master, do you not know who currently is in charge of whether or not you cum tonight? I could leave you right here, to your own devices, without any kind of release.”

A bit of a sadist in that regard. He loves seeing you squirm and beg him for release. He is in control.

It’s no doubt that Ookurikara is rather hard to read, this rings true when it comes to sex. It’s hard to tell if he’s in the mood – pda is sparse with him after all. Though sometimes you can see it, the way he trails off whenever he looks at you, and his eyes undressing you and boring into your skin. Eyes are the window to the soul after all.

   It’s also his eyes that give away his pleasure. Kara is rather quiet in bed. Soft grunts and groans, never as loud as Shoku or Tsuru. Its rare to get a moan outta him.

But if you tease his tattoos? Oh, honey, you’re doomed. Say goodbye to walking.

  Also has a hand kink and tattoo kink. Leaves hickes everywhere, like a constellation only he can see. Will kiss your tats and scars.

   Glove kink. Need I say more.

He is rather sporadic with his aftercare. He isn’t as cuddly as Tsuru or Shoku but he will cuddle after sex. Will wash you yeah most of the time it’s probably rocking you to sleep. But it’s when you close your eyes does Kuri take a moment to take in your beauty and let his mind wander. Thankful for whatever god gave you to him.

 Sure he will fuck in public like your office, but he is hyper aware of anyone who comes close. Covering your mouth with his hand, especially if Taikogane is there.

   He may be quiet during sex, but loves it when you are LOUD.

   Also pretty into cockwarming.

Will use toys everynow and then, but won’t admit that he loves making you suffer at his hands – or being tied up really. ‘

[tora-ken]

.two | snacks at 7am?

back | masterlist | next

"took you long enough." kenma sighs, putting his phone in his back pocket.

you send a quick glare his way, and snatch your drink, and take a sip before everyone notices your expression of distaste.

"it's warm." you stare at the drink in your hand.

"we told you to hurry up, but you got caught up with those cats, which by the way, you need to send pictures of." lev slung his arm around your shoulder, before taking a sip of your drink too and hissing at the foreign flavour. "this is so gross, you drink this?"

"you look like this?" you pull at his hair and stick a tongue out at him.

"come on, it's seven fifteen, mr watanabe is gonna kill us." yume throws her empty drink away in the bin beside her, and sanitises her hands.

"we've got fifteen minutes, mecchan, we're fine!" kozuki boasts, not realising she would eat her words twenty five minutes later.

ー

"you said we'd be fine." kenma grits his teeth, before elbowing kozuki.

"well, i was obviously wrong." she rolls her eyes, and the five of you keep your heads bowed down as the school's pe teacher holds a wooden ruler in his possession.

"it's always you five, what sin have i committed in my past life in order for you brats to always come to school late?" he paces as we stood in a line, staring down at our feet.

it's not like any of you guys even liked coming to school, you only attended for the thrills that teachers provided for you in the mornings whenever you were late for a class. the five of you (actually, lev excluded) were brilliant students, with outstanding grades, yet your behaviour was utterly poor, causing mixed feelings within the teacher's board.

"why are you all late this time?" the teacher slurs on mundanely, knowing this was a regular routine at this point. scolding wasn't going to do you five of any good, in the end you would all stick to the same routine of meeting up at seven in the morning to buy snacks and take your time getting to class; although, it was different now, you're moving.

"aren't any of you going to speak? the longer we stay here, the longer of a detention i'll give you bunch." he straightens the stick into his hand, and you flinch from the sudden reverberation.

"it was my fault sir, i was loitering around the neighbourhood because there were cats." you muster up the courage to speak before lev could say anything.

all five of you are finally let go, but not without an earful, how you need to "shape up" and that you're only growing older, to be honest, it bored all of you. you each scurry into your homeroom, 2-B, and sat in your seat, situated in smack bang in the middle of the classroom, right beside kenma.

kozuki and lev were in the class below you, 2-C, despite kozuki's phenomenal perfomance in the humanities sections of class, and lev had a boost from being in the volleyball team as the 6'5" foreigner middle blocker. undeniably, yume was in the top class, 2-A, with brilliant grades and tutors, who kept up with her work every day, and maybe did extra credit if she had the time.

"hirose san, i hear you're leaving, where are you going?" an unfamiliar classmate taps you on the shoulder. you vaguely remember encountering them once, during orientation on the first day, suzuki was it? no, suzue, wait, never mind.

"why do you need to know?" you mutter, disliking the idea of an actual stranger asking about your business.

"geez, i was just asking where you were moving, no need to be stuck up about it." they roll their eyes and trudge across the classroom back to their (thankfully) distant seat in the very back row.

unbeknownst to you, a raven rooster lookalike ovserved your conversation with such secrecy, almost like your best friend didn't notice it at all.

facts:

y/n has blocked kuroo on all social media except imessage bc shes still having a hard time moving on

kenma almost got his fanbase to find "uwubabie82"'s ip address but yume persuaded him not to

y/n does not get along w most of her classmates bc of her prickly attitude towards everyone

kozuki likes to show y/n the gossip that happens to kuroo and proceeds to make fun of him, in attempt to make her laugh.

a/n: hi <3

taglist: @satorinnie @tanakasimpcorner @wasting-away-on-the-internet @sassyglassesbunny

[huenjin]

"i am never, ever, going to one of jisung's parties again."

you shift in your 'seat' to try and get comfortable which results in the person underneath to emit a low groan, hot breath fanning against your ear causing goosebumps to rise all over. it's such an inappropriate scene, the way changbin has you perched on his lap, firm hands on your hips to stop you from moving around too much. "comfy, princess?" he rasps, and you have to bite your lip from making any sounds you know will boost his ego. it's already sky high as it is. god you could almost feel the raging hard-on if you leaned further back, even just a little.

it's hyunjin's fault. you blame it all on hyunjin for dragging you there because he said you needed to "have fun and let loose" after 2 weeks of stress and sleepless nights during final exams. you really do appreciate his thoughtfulness, and he's not wrong for the most part, it's just that you would've preferred staying in to binge watch the latest episodes of private lives on netflix. you're so behind on the drama it's frustrating. but when he offered to buy you new clothes for the halloween party, you figured why not? there's no loss with those terms are there?

wrong. hyunjin just conveniently forgot to mention that your natural enemy seo changbin would also be there. and that he'd be hot as fuck dressed as a policeman. if you were being brutally honest you'd like for him to lock you up and use those handcuffs for you, but it's well known around the campus that y/n and changbin do not go together. you bicker, you fight, you squabble every single time you're in the same room, let alone the same space. he riles you up like no other, and you challenge him like none has.

the sexual tension though? un-fucking-believable.

in changbin's defense, you didn't have to look so sexy in that air hostess costume. a flight attendant? he'd love for you to attend to his needs instead. it's true, the both of you can't stand each other but what's a bit of hate sex can't fix? "probably everything." was what his best friend and fellow roommate chan had said. he might be true, but that won't stop changbin from trying now will it? no, of course not.

"truth or dare y/n?"

curse that beer bottle for landing in your direction twice in a row. the first ended up with you in that position. and now? it's about to get real. so there's two options. either you get zapped by the lie-detecting machine or pick a lousy dare. both you're sure will only end up in your misery because your whole group of friends will forever try and get either you or changbin to break and get into each other's pants (or skirts) already. there's no giving up in their dictionary unless when it comes to studying.

"dare."

changbin whistles at your decision, his intense stare burning holes at the back of your head as he removed one of his hands to rest on your bare thigh. every touch of his fingertips sends tingles up your spine, core starting to drip with want. the longing, the need to be filled is overwhelming that your brain turns into mush and all rational thoughts are out the window.

"i dare you.. to kiss changbin. french style, if you will."

fuck it, you thought. you want a show? fine, i'll give you a show.

in the blink of an eye you've switched positions to straddle his lap, taking off the hat he's wearing and placing it on yourself before leaning in to capture his lips with yours. he smirks during the kiss, feeling victorious at you finally giving in at your desires. under different circumstances you'd want to slap that smirk right off, but now you're in too far to care.

it's animalistic, how he has in tongue in you within a split second after giving your ass cheeks a particularly harsh squeeze. the gasp you let out encourages him to move lower and lower to where you need him most. the sucking and biting he litters under your jaw would be future y/n's problem to handle in the morning because right now, you're putty in his hold. the purple and red marks are a sign, a warning. this is seo changbin's territory.

your hands around his neck, tangled in his soft locks earns a string unholy moans you're sure you'll never get tired of hearing. he knows damn well what he's doing. not one sweet spot of yours did he miss, and by the end of it he has your dress bunched up around your waist, lower half grinding down on his crotch.

"fuck, princess, you're so beautiful."

the action has you seeing stars, pure bliss fuelling your veins which keeps you going on and on and on. every drag gets you higher and god does it feel good. when his lips find yours again his thrusts meet you halfway, sinful moans getting swallowed by the wet muscle exploring the vast of your mouth. his taste is your favourite flavor yet.

you well and truly lost it when his dominance takes over. "you're tired hmm? it's okay princess let me take care of you." the flex of his thigh and the way he's pressing you down so that your clit rubs deliciously against the material of his pants has you keening. the words slipping out of his mouth are downright filthy, the knot in your stomach so awfully tight you're afraid it'll snap without caution.

"b-bin- changbin please.."

the audacity of this man to send you a devilish smirk after all you did was be a good girl for him.

"please what, princess? you're so pretty begging for me like this aren't you?"

his praises, god his praises could send you to heaven and back. you live off of him being proud of you, complimenting you as if you're fully his. he owns you. all of you.

"please.. don't s-stop. ah i'm so close. p-please."

"since you asked so nicely."

one strong pull and you're spurting hot white fluid all over his thigh. your newly bought lace panties, needless to say is drenched and ruined from the intense orgasm you had but fuck was it worth it. he chuckles when you pant, soothing you through your high with more praises that has you whimpering for more.

"sensitive are we princess?"

you blush bright red as he takes a good look at you, the condition you're in making you avoid eye contact in embarrassment. hiding your face in his chest, he runs his fingers through your hair and laughs when you hum appreciatively.

"cute."

then you realise the rest of the the room is empty except for the both of you. for once you're actually glad jisung hosted this party because his huge mansion has plenty of rooms to occupy. the door though, is left wide open. so much for privacy.

"do you still hate me?"

he asks out of the blue, catching you completely off guard. you lean back and stare up at him, tilting your head as if he's just asked something ridiculous. he chuckles again, seeming whipped at how cute you were being in response to his question.

"i've never hated you."

"really? then why do you get mad when i flirt with you?"

"because!!!!"

fuck, this is not a post sex kind of conversation.

"because you flirt with literally everyone, bin. i wanted to hide the fact that i do like you so i pretended i didn't."

you expected him to say sorry for playing with your feelings, or at least apologise for giving you mixed signals but all he does is smile sheepishly.

"what? why are you smiling?"

"you called me bin. only my close friends and loved ones call me that."

"and?"

"we're dating as of now."

[capriccio-con-espressione]

Checkered Skirt

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 1330 words

Warning: Sub!Hendery, Dom!Reader, Spanking, Cross-dressing, Use of pet names, Oral sex (male receiving), Pegging, Overstimulation, Sexting at work, Hendery is whiny and horny

A/N: This fic is based on an ask as well as this pic (tho slightly altered). Originally planned to make this a brief drabble but I went overboard again, anyways I hope sub!Hendery feeds the lust of the sub!idol community and mine. 

  When is Mistress coming home to take care of her needy pup’s problems?🐶

  A message from Hendery popped up on your phone screen while you are still bombarded by tedious paperwork you just want to rip through, exactly like how much you want to rip off your boyfriend’s clothes, and his whiny messages certainly aren’t helping.

  Be back in half an hour. Stay put. You warn

  😣😣😣. Came Hendery’s immediate reply. How about this?

  A sinful photo then leaps into your screen, in which Hendery posed in front of the mirror in his black leather collar with “Y/N’s pup” inscribed on it, and he is dressed up in a dark checkered shirt with a matching mini skirt barely covering his crotch, not to mention his hard-on. A pair of black knee-highs accentuated his lean figure wickedly perfectly, and the fact that he is kneeling on the around with his slender legs spread wide open, his hand around his clothed shaft, just fuels your frustration even more.

  Fuck you. You reply, irritated by the provoking sight.

  Language 😜. You feel as if you can hear his mischievous laugh even you are a screen apart. You always disciplined me for this, so why are you breaking your own rule?

  I follow no fucking rules in my house, pet. You sharply retort. But you’re right, you’re so getting properly disciplined again for this. You’d better be in your position once I am home. Understand?

  You then ignore his message affirming your order since you are in fervent need of getting your work done as quickly as possible now, and you swear your fingers have never worked this hastily on your keyboard before. Soon you find a shortcut to complete your workload, and in no time you are at your doorstep, satisfied by the sight in front of you.

  Hendery is on his hands and knees, his barely clad butt poking out as he’s gazing up at you with a naughty glint in those large piercing eyes, as well as a paddle between his grinning lips, his cock glistening with need.

  “Well, well, well.” You crouch down to his level. “Whose pretty puppy is this hmm?” You coo as you take the paddle out of his mouth, grazing his jawline with it.

  Before he can respond, you give a harsh yank on his hair, taking no time to force him up, dragging him to bedside table and quickly bending him over, before securing his torso onto it.

  “You don’t whore up while I am at work.” You hiss into his ear before landing a smack on his skirt-covered flesh with the paddle, the fabric buffering the sensation before he gets the taste of the real deal you’re up to, teasing his senses as well.

  “You don’t talk back to me like you know better than I do.” You chastise in between rough fervent spanks. “Last, “ You lift up his skirt, toying with the hem while caressing his freshly beaten flesh. “your Mistress follows no rules since I am just superior by nature, get it, slut?”

  “Ow-! Y-yes, Mistress-ah!” Hendery’s reply is interrupted by another sharp smack plus a lick on his buttock, as you proceed to suck and nibble on the supple flesh as if you’re enjoying your favorite meal, while your boyfriend is already a moaning squirming mess at the humiliating yet intimate feeling.

  “Mistress hnnnghh you feel so good…ahh...”  

  “Really?” You breath on the back of his cock. “But do puppy whores like you deserve to feel good hmm?” You inquire before lashing out with your paddle again.

  “Ah-no! Ahhhhh...I don’t deserve...ahhhhhh!” 

  “Care to explain why you don’t deserve to be pleasured?” You purr while caressing his hot skin, pinching his inner thigh from time to time, earning grunts from your sensitive boyfriend.

  “B-because I...I’ve been so bad…”

  “Bad is an understatement.”

  “Hahh...cuz I’ve been a horny pup wanking in heat...mmmm” His voice trails off into incoherent noises once you muffle him with a deep kiss, your palm lightly and sensually spanking him as he erotically moans along with each slap.

  “Such a depraved little pup…” You lovingly peck him before untying him and flipping him over on the table. “I’m gonna destroy you until those pretty doggy eyes of yours are all glossy and hazy...crying out to your Mistress for mercy…”

  “Destroy me then. Mistress.”

  You then bend down to moisten his shaft with your tongue, with your fingers busy lubricating his entrance before gradually adding them to stretch him. Hendery’s mesmerized, moaning loudly as he’s both serviced and humiliatingly intruded.

  When you finally reach up to unbutton his shirt, he attempted to take off his skirt. “No, keep that on, I prefer you partially nude, looking so disheveled and vitiated…” You continue as you exposed his nipples, planting sloppy kisses on them with one hand caressing the region still covered by the skirt, toying and pulling with the fabric, while the other hand is still busy fucking him deep and slow.

  Soon you are fully equipped with your strap, driving deep into his prostate with your free hand tangled in his silky strands, pounding into him hard and fast. 

  “F-ffuck puppy harder pleeaase…” Hendery pants as he pleads, fueling your pent-up lust even more as you pick up your pace, causing him to moan out even more lewdly. When he’s closer and closer to his peak, not only did he clench tighter against your ruthless cock, but also his sock-clad legs are wrapped closely around you, the smooth fabric turning you on as you can’t help but compliment how pretty he looks right now.

  “Such a beautiful fucked-out pup…” You lock your gaze with his, watching his expressions that are overwhelmed by extreme pleasure, before diving in for another round of wet sloppy kisses again. Sounds of contacting lips and entwining hips are interspersed by a few smacks on his ass, driving both of you insane and nearing your edge.

  Shoots of hot white liquid are followed by a series of broken cries, but you still relentlessly drill into him like a hungry beast ravishing its first ever meal in days. Hendery’s teary but also surprised gaze locks into yours, yet he can do nothing but indulge in the building pleasure over and over again as he cums twice in the next few minutes.

  “Please...please Mistress I can’t take it anymore...you are too good…”

  “I thought that’s what my filthy pup wanted hmm? Getting its insatiable needs completely filled…” You say as you wickedly pump his now ultra-sensitive dick.

  “Ahh-no! Please Mistress I-I am s-sorry for... riling you up earlier pleeaasee…stoppp” Hendery’s pain is evident in his struggle with words.

  “Really? Isn’t it my puppy who begged me to destroy him?”

  “Y-yes I was a s-slutty pup...but now Mistress please spare me I can’t take no more…” Hendery begs with tears that threaten to fall

  Satisfied with his realization of his proper place, you release your grip on his cock and replace it with soft, reassuring kisses all over his body, before wiping away the excess fluids on his belly as well as his tears, then you go on to remove his cum-stained clothing.

  “This is a reminder that you should never wear skirts again unless you want it wild and rough just like today…” You smirk as you present the dirtied spots on the checkered skirt to him.

  “You’re such an insufferable pervert.”

  “Look who’s talking!” You fail to hide your triumph behind your feigned indignation in your tone, before ditching those clothings in the laundry bin and returning to cuddle with Hendery back on the bed.

  Though there is total silence between you, your now tired boy’s arm is wrapped around your waist the whole time before he finally drifts off to sleep, leaving you mesmerised in thoughts of how lucky you are to have a man that is so compatible with you as your boyfriend.  

[cheshirequeenwithoutaheart]

Casper for the ask thing if you’re still doing it- a-messes-blog-of-ocs-and-whump

@a-messes-blog-of-ocs-and-whump thank you for the ask!

B A S I C S

full name:  Luca Casper Sinclair 

gender:  non-binary

sexuality: pan

pronouns: he/him/they/them

O T H E R S

family: they live with their aunt whilst their parents live on the other side of twin wave. they don’t really get along, since their parents disapprove of their life goals.

birthplace: a city named namore in what is, essentially, bargain bin italy (it’s called edra).

job: works at their aunt’s bakery, Flour Meadough 

phobias: none tbh (unless the idea of complete silence with no other noise and no way of breaking it counts)

guilty pleasures: drinking copious amounts of tea and eating way too many sugary things; buying pretty fabrics in large quantities (or just fabric they like the texture of)

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: chaotic good 

sins - lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath

virtues - chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert

organized/disorganized

close minded/open-minded

calm/anxious

disagreeable/agreeable

cautious/reckless

patient/impatient

outspoken/reserved

leader/follower

empathetic/unemphatic

optimistic/pessimistic

traditional/modern

hard-working/lazy (although it depends on whether they like what they’re doing)

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: luella

ot3: casper/luella/coralie

brotp: wren

notp: blythe, rainer (although only because blythe is aro and casper is all about love, whilst rainer is demi-romantic and into wren)

[aesthetixallyexo]

good vibrations ; pcy

word count: 1.6k

genre: smut

warnings: underground rapper!au, sex toys, overstim, edging, masturbation, oral sex

‘in which loey’s got some new songs. you enjoy them differently than others.’

**see end of work for more notes

---------------------------------------

  You had a ritual everytime Loey dropped something new. You’d wait for your boyfriend’s text saying his song was live, you’d grab your handy dandy toy, and find a whole new way to appreciate his music.

  The idea was all yours, kind of. Another fan of Loey had posted something online about this fantastic new vibrator that pulsed with the beat of your music. Given his deep voice and the heavy bass in the majority of his tracks, it seemed like a match made in heaven.

  He seemed a little apprehensive about the whole thing (you suspected that he felt like this toy was gonna replace him), but you managed to convince him how much fun the two of you could have with it together.

  Neither of you were strangers to sex toys; you’d played around with cock rings and the occasional cheap local-sex-store-bargain-bin mini hitachi wand (not to mention the secret box you’d stuffed in the back of your closet with a dildo and sample lube packets), but this was different.

  Despite his uncertainty, Chanyeol never knew erotic until he walked in on the sight of you coming undone to the sound of his voice and the vibrations it provided.

  You’d even convinced him to let you try it on him.

  Putting on the softest and slowest songs you had on your phone, you teased him with it over his boxers for well over an hour until he just couldn't take it anymore.

  All music from both of your respective libraries were at your disposal, and you found that the most sultry R&B tracks were your favourite to use against him. The slow tempo and soft voices meant steady vibrations until the song reached its climax. The two of you would go at that for hours; you massaging his cock through his boxers with the vibrator while he played with your tits.

  You favoured the slow pacing and the way R&B’s tease brought him over any genre you two had experimented with.

  All that being said, your boyfriend’s favourite type of music method of torture varied. Of course, there was no shortage of his music and that of other rappers in the scene that he’d produced for. It got to a point where you couldn’t listen to any of his music in public with feeling arousal.

  His new favourite was rock n roll; fast guitar, loud drums, and piercing voices meant you came fast and hard every damn time. As good as it was to cum to Kiss or Motley Crue, nothing was hotter to you than Chanyeol’s voice.

  You’d been at home all day while Chanyeol was in the studio. He was producing and featuring on a track for an up-and-coming new artist. Sending little snippets of a song wasn't uncommon, he valued what you thought and what you could add to perfect his music.

  Today was different.

  He’d sent you audio of a few new songs and a message.  

  from: chan

  to: you

  you know what to do, baby girl (;

 Giddy smile on your face, you put down your laundry and skipped to the bedroom. The vibrator was in the top drawer of your nightstand and the batteries were fresh. You plugged the cord into the base and pulled up the first untitled track while kicking off your panties. About four minutes in length, the song had a different vibe to his normal stuff.

  A high note introduced the song and it definitely wasn’t his voice. The toy whirred to life between your thighs unexpectedly and you squealed in surprise. This was definitely the song he was featured on.

i’m starting to draw it out

just like i saw

aren’t you sick

of all of the same shapes?

  The beat still hadn’t picked up yet, leaving a very soft pulse on your clit. You yearned for anything stronger. Whoever this new singer was, his voice was amazing. As the chorus began it’s build up, you saw a message from Chanyeol came through but you didn't want to stop and check it.

going on a path someone decided for you is no fun

a special wrong answer shines more

from now on, find the path that you want

go go go go

  That was more like it.

no more thoughts that are measured with a ruler

do whatever you want instead of what’s nice

just like how you feel right now

do it, do it, throw yourself

  You bucked your hips against the vibrator as you let out a long whine. Your fingers trailed down to your folds to collect your own arousal.

no more of what you don’t wanna do

do what you want instead of what’s typical

be free, yeah, have some lawless ideas

you’re still so young

  The vibrations picked up with Loey’s verse. You whined, hips leaving the mattress completely as you rut your hips against it. What you wouldn't do to have your boyfriend there with you, teasing you with the buzzing toy between your legs while his fingers pump in and out of you.

if you did what they told you to do

you wouldn’t be able to hear

if you only used your shoulder to put on your backpack

you wouldn’t be able to dance

thin out all the decisions you made by being cautious

  Collecting the juices from your pussy, you spread it across your sensitive folds. Cries of your boyfriend’s name tumbled from your lips as his voice brought you closer and closer to cumming. Your legs were shaking from the stimulation. The snippet of the song was fading out (and so were the vibrations), causing you to let out a sob.

  You could practically see the shit-eating grin on your boyfriend’s face. Part of you knew he did this on purpose; bringing you just close enough to the edge to make you cry when it ends. Next song starting abruptly after a brief pause, the vibrations startled you.

i can’t breathe,

it’s like I’ve been split in half

cocaine won't replace

hearing your voice, sounding so sharp

  This song was more Loey’s style; heavy bass, slow spoken words, deep voice. Again, your phone went off from somewhere on your bed, but you couldn't be bothered to check. Your orgasm washed over you in long waves and you felt your toes curl.

drunken calls

you’re makin' me high

i can feel it, a mistake

i need you by my side

  Even though you came, it wasn't close to enough. Including this one, you had two songs left and you felt like it would be a disservice to your boyfriend if you stopped now. You wanted more. He would've wanted more.

baby girl

i’ve seen you with him

suffering

just can't quite reach it

  The vibrations weren't quite enough anymore. You needed Chanyeol to hurry home. He always knew had to make you come undone in record time. Though it couldn't compare to his, you fucked yourself with your fingers in attempt to seek relief. Given your position, your palm pushed the vibrator against your clit and you sobbed.

  “Please, Yeol!” You knew he wasn't there, but you desperately wished he was. Maybe crying out his name would make him come home faster. Hips bucking wildly, you just about reached you peak when you heard a familiar sound.

  It was the click of a key in the lock.

  Chanyeol was home.

  And judging by the low chuckle and footsteps leading him to you, he knew exactly what you were doing. He found you fucked out; teary eyed, soaked with sweat, and hips rutting against your fingers.

  “My poor little baby,” He cooed, stepping towards the bed and brushed your bangs away from your face. “Do you need to come?” Chanyeol grabbed your phone and paused the music. With the vibrations halted, you let out a whine.

  Pure need radiated off you. “You still have a song left, right baby?” You nodded. Chanyeol smirked, selecting the final track. The vibrator was back in your hand and he was kneeling before your pussy. He finally dove in, dragging his tongue through your folds. The vibration kicked in and you squealed.

lovin that real love, something you feel love

turning me back to the old me

ride for my realla, i die for my realla

i give you respect like the OGs

lockin' me down like the police

  You could feel the smirk on Chanyeol’s lips. He’d planned this all along and you knew it. You tugged on Chanyeol’s hair with one hand and manned the vibrator with your other. “Oh my god, more! Please!” He more than complied, fucking you with his fingers while lapping at your pussy.

i'm all yours, when you really wanna take me there

don't let me go nowhere

i’d give it all up for you, i swear

only for real love

  Everything felt so intense. You were incredibly oversensitive from your last orgasm and you knew you probably weren’t going to last very long (especially if he kept his pace up). The vibrations became more intense with his parts of the song.

love is a high, we feelin’ alive

you lovin’ the size, 이 흐름을 타

i give you more, you feelin’ the flow

you never let none of them bring down the vibe

hustle to win, we be livin’ in sin

makin’ us two of a kind

  Without any warning whatsoever, you came. In fact, you squirted a little on the sheets.  As you basked in the glow of our orgasm, you could see the strain on your boyfriend’s pants. Perhaps you ought to pick some songs and return the favour?

THE END

------------------------------------------

vibrator in the story is called OhMiBod, liked here

songs in the fic are:

1. young by baekhyun ft loco (chanyeol has loco’s parts)

2. a mix of tempo, love shot, and stuff from a rap lyric generator

3. freal luv by far east movement ft. tinashe and chanyeol (chanyeol has f.e.m.’s parts as well as his own

[river-oceanus]

You should do Roshan for that question list and I might just go ahead and do Keejah without being asked.

B A S I C S

full name: Roshan Nejem Duanna bin Nasrin al-Hai’im (human) / Roshan Kareem Rasul bin Jahan Al Kadan (djinn)

gender: nonbinary (human), male (djinn)

sexuality: queer as all get-out

pronouns: they/them (human), he/him (djinn)

O T H E R S

family: Jahan Al Kadan, a merchant-noble, djinn, and Roshan’s father. Nasrin the Wild Rose, a human dissident, and Roshan’s mother.

birthplace: Kadan, Jewel of the Summer Sea

job: Scholar, astronomer, oracle, traveller.

phobias: Confinement, separation, the unravelling of well-laid plains and the backfiring of oaths.

guilty pleasures: scholarly debate, trashy romance novels, physical intimacy

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: chaotic good

sins - pride

virtues - kindness, justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: Introvert

organized/disorganized: Human!Roshan is a very disorganised person. Djinn!Roshan is organised to a fault.

close minded/open-minded: open-minded

calm/anxious: anxious. There is a lot of be anxious about; a lot of balls in the air.

disagreeable/agreeable: agreeable. Both Roshans are pretty friendly.

cautious/reckless: Human!Roshan is reckless, Djinn!Roshan is cautious.

patient/impatient: patient. Impatience is the enemy of long-term schemes.

outspoken/reserved: Outspoken (human), reserved (djinn). Human!Roshan does most of their talking, but Djinn!Roshan steps up when it’s important.

leader/follower: Neither Roshan is leadership material, but they do not follow others unless given good cause.

empathetic/unemphatic: empathetic.

optimistic/pessimistic: optimistic. We must trust that everything will work out in the end, otherwise what’s the point?

traditional/modern: modern

hard-working/lazy: hard-working.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: THAT’S A SECRET. (human). Whoever Zahara tells me it is (Djinn).

ot3: [REDACTED]

brotp: Keejah (Human!Roshan), Zahara (Djinn!Roshan)

notp: Ryah, Zarathustra

[toukenramblings]

NSFW Headcanons: Kuwana Gou, Murakumo Gou, Kotegiri Gou

Alright, let’s get this shit started. The G-ho bros.

Warnings: S I N. Continuation to my sfw headcanons, this is for you mei mei~!

Kuwana Gou

Oh Kuwana’s body is so nice man. He works oh so hard so you gotta reward him sometimes! I’m not sorry when I say that his chest is just??? hold a king’s titties Just suck on his nipples, tweak and tug them. He’ll be putty in your hands. Can probs cum from taunting his chest alone if you push his buttons enough.

This brings me to the next subject. Marking. You can make very light bruises on Kuwana’s skin, it’s rather tough in some places but his thighs are super duper great to mark up. Change my mind. It’s the best man, like Kuwana won’t mind showing off the marks you gave him, he’s a bit shy about it especially when working in the fields. In turn, Kuwana doesn’t mind marking you up as well. It’s much softer though, in places you can easily hide.

Yeah about him taking off his clothing when its hot out, he doesn’t meant to get you horny on purpose! He does it as a convenience. It’s not that Kuwana is shy about his body or anything, he just takes it all in a sense of shy stride. Of course whatever the hell is under his pants are for you and you alone.

Massages always lead to sexy times whenever you two are in the mood. Sometimes you’ll just be straddling him as you work on his back, working out the knots in his muscles or Kuwana is having you in his lap or straddling you and massaging you! It gets heated pretty quickly.

Oh Kuwana is a bit of a switch but personally I say he’s a bottom leaning switch. But if he has to be on top, he’s a service top. Kuwawa wants to prioritize your pleasure over his, and that’s the most important thing to him after all! Just ensuring that you cum more times then he.

Oh see, you two would do some shower/bath sex but the fear of being caught is way too much yo. Since Kuwana adores bathing with you with whatever extent, he wants to feel connected. Besides, what if you two slip and fall! That’s his biggest fear! Teasing can be done here, but all of this stuff is for the bedroom.

Kuwana is oh so gentle with you in the bedroom. Nothing but soft praises, soft gasps, and so on! He rather quiet during the do, not because he isn’t enjoying it no! It’s because that’s how he is. He does get a lil loud but knows how to control himself.

His sex drive is rather low and he greatly prefers cuddling than doing the do but that doesn’t mean he won’t get in the mood! It’s rather easy to tell. He’ll get all flustered but most of all, consent is a big important thing to him. He’ll mostly ask you if you want to have sex or not.

No way is Kuwana teasing you in public, that’s private times man. That shit is only for you two alone! If you want to tease him in public, be his guest! He’ll be all stuttery and it’s cute to see him all worked up! His face all red, wanting to see what the hell you have under your clothing, fufufu.

Kuwana loves it when you two worship each other’s bods.  He also loves it when he has really good access to your chest. So if you sit on his lap during sex he’ll love it!

Speaking of, no blindfolds for either of you. He wants you to see each other’s faces as you have sex! He wants to see exactly what he does to you!

Kuwana does masturbate but it’s a rare occurrence. As said, he has a pretty low sex drive but it tends to flare up randomly? He’ll do it in private though, he doesn’t wanna make much of a show of it. Maybe will steal some clothing from you to sniff and pleasure himself with, who knows.

Kuwana is always worried about your health so whenever you two are getting ready to do the do, he reads up and sets boundaries for you two. He would never hurt you after all! Gods forbid all that! He wants to make sure that you two are going to be comfortable during this. Safe words are present as well.

The idea of gagging Kuwana makes me feel things. Also will always hold your hand during sex.

As said above, Kuwana is super prepared for after care. He did study up on this and he puts your pleasure above his. So of course he’s prepared! Will clean you up, kiss your breath away, and ensure that you are okay in the end!

Murakumo Gou

It’ll take a loooong time before Kumo kumo is comfy with sex. The idea of doing it with you does sound nice but he worries that his tum may start to hurt and thus ruin the fun. Of course if you two are in a very comfortable relationship, his stomach pains will have gone down mostly. When he is ready to go to the next step, Murakumo will want to have a talk with you about it. He’ll want to set out boundaries, do’s and don’ts. So on and so forth!

Kumo has a slightly high sex drive once he’s comfortable in that space, the best way to get him going are hand kisses and sucking on his fingers. He will suck on yours as well! Oh dude he has such a nice tongue and that’s it. Yes he loves hand kisses and shit but using his fingers to gag you or your fingers to gag him??? Oh mAN.

Body worship is very importante for Murakumo. He wants to give you as much  love as you give him. He wants to show you exactly how you make him feel! Expect him to mark you up a LOT. Mark him in return, it’s so great man. He will be shy about showing off his marks but man he’ll be so proud when you show off your marks.

Yes he’s into doggy style quite a bit, but loves it when you fuck in front of a mirror. He loves seeing your face whenever he plows into you, alternatively, if you’re on top, Kumo will always want to see your face as well! He has to judge and gauge how each movement you two do makes you feel! He has to make sure that you’re feeling good!!!

Is slightly into you getting a collar for him. Yes he’s a dog in that sense but a collar saying that he’s your property does make him smile a bit. It’s also really nice just to tug on the damn thing. but also is really into you wearing a collar too. he just really likes it when you two tug on each other’s collars okay? okay.

Oh dude when he tops, it’s lowkey pretty feral. He will not hesitate to ensure that you don’t walk for days. He’s pretty rough when he wants to be. Kumo kumo may be a switch at heart, but he slightly prefers to be on top, especially when he can service you! He also really really loves how you taste.

Yes Murakumo does masturbate often...ish. He gets off to your scent quite a bit. He can and will steal your shit to sniff and mess with his cock.

Your hands have to be held during sex! He loves holding your hand in general and hand kisses! He just loves feeling connected with you, no matter what!!!

Murakumo is also rather loud in bed, with sweet whimpers and whines. He loves it when you gag him! Fingers, clothing, whatever the hell! He also loves it when you sit on his fucking face.

Listen, Murakumo and your first time together is nothing short of soft and sweet. It’s nothing short of soft and holding each other gently as your bodies rock against each other. With soft kisses and open mouth kisses, oh man it’s great as hell.

Breeding kink maybe??????????????

Like Samidare, it’s kinda easy to tell whenever Murakumo is in the mood. He’ll be a bit more possessive, growling at other TouDan that even try to go near you. Will even try to mark you in public! Be prepared if he does try to do this though.

Murakumo isn’t all that into public sex? He’ll tease you and you can tease him in public and sure he will drag you into a more private corner of the citadel to further taunt and tease, a leg between yours, pressing against your sex and kissing you breathless, but actually doing the do is saved for private time. He won’t hesitate to service you under your desk though, don’t tEST HIM.

Yes he’s very much into overstim whenever he is giving you oral sex. Not very much into orgasm denial. BUt listen, topping Murakumo is an adventure. He’ll mark your back with claw marks, gasping and whimpering and whining and letting out the most beastial of growls when he cums.

After care is mostly just cuddles. He will immediately want to curl up next to you, exhausted and burying his face into your shoulder! Almost purring with how close you two are!

Kotegiri Gou

Lungs. Of. A. Singer. Motherfucker is pretty loud when he wants to be. This is why you need to gag him. Use your underpants, your fingers, whaTEVER THE HELL. He looks so pretty all flushed and forced to keep his mouth shut.

He’s also into praise, adoring it when you lavish it on to him. He’s weak in the knees whenever you call him a good boy. It causes his cock to twitch slightly, shivering at the words that drop from your lips like wine that he could drink up oh so happily.

Giri giri loves it when you suck on his fingers and lavish his hands, kiss them! Suck them! Show him that you love his hands! Always hold it as you two are doing the do! Oh man it’s good as shit.

Kotegiri does take care of the appearances of both of you. So don’t be surprised if he...well, dives deep into the internet to find you two some lingerie to wear. Yes he frequents a sex shop to find the right clothing for you two! BUt damn it all, he just wants you two to look your best! He has to pick out only the best of lingerie for you to wear! Damn right he’ll wear some too! NO one’ stopping him.

Maybe if you’re lucky, Kotegiri will give you a lap dance. maybe you can give him a lap dance. it’s all free game here man.

Kotegiri is a switch yes, but he prefers being on top, servicing you and telling you how much he loves you. Also he loves it when he can see you and sing your praises. But he also loves being on the bottom as well! He don’t mind!

Hell no, Kotegiri is not fucking you in your office. That’s a sacred place. You two are going to work and maybe cuddle and that’s that. Fucking is reserved for the bedroom and tHAT’S I T. Yes he may have had some fantasies about fucking you on your desk but nope. He ain’t doing dat shit. Not here man. Not yet at least. Push his buttons enough and maybe he’ll give in.

Oh Kotegiri loves marking you up! It’s always on your thighs though, he doesn’t mind marking up your neck but prefers it on the spots where only he and he alone can see. Maybe he’s being a bit possessive in this aspect but damn it, Kotegiri just wants you all to himself!

Kotegiri’s sex drive is also kinda low, he’s always so busy that he doesn’t really think about that kinda stuff. It all depends on how he’s feeling at the moment, so sometimes he’ll want to fuck you into the nearest surface and other times he’s just happy with cuddling. But dude when Kotegiri is in the mood it’s easy to tell. He’ll leave a box of lingerie out for you with a note that merely says he’ll see you tonight. Ehehehe.

KISS THE DAMN TAT ON HIS HIP. OH MAN KOTEGIRI IS PRETTY WEAK THERE. He loves it when you mark him up around his midriff and thigh area. Dude he rarely shows his tattoo to anyone but whenever he looks in the mirror and sees the marks you gave him around that area, he flushes as his fingers trace them. He’s so!! Proud!! Of those marks!!!!

Okay so mAAAAYBE Kotegiri will pole dance for you. If he figures it out of course. but he would. chANGE MY MIND

Raunchy poems/texts. I’m sorry, I’m not sorry. But these will be a thing. Since Kotegiri will also have a phone, he won’t hesitate to sext you whenever you two are not busy.

Kotegiri is rarely ever rough. It’s always soft and sweet during sex, moving to a rhythm that you two have set. Your first time was nothing short of sweet! He wanted to make sure that you two are happy in the end, sweet kisses and all!

no im not saying that giri giri 100% stole your laptop to further delve into kinks and research them. KOtegiri will also be a person who will set up boundaries before you two begin having sex. He wants to ensure that you two will not hurt each other or he doesn’t make you panic or anything!

Is also pretty attentive to you during after care. He’ll sing a lullaby for you to sleep, clean you up, change the sheets, and kiss you breathless. WIll joke that you two could always have another round if you two like but Kotegiri just wants to bask in your presence man.

[senzacaponecoda]

pAA?

(Decided to reduce the names to E, O and S because this isn’t something that should be treated seriously or like there’s anything in particular respectable or responsible about it, but might be helpful to someone like me trying to find something out for personal reasons.) So since I finally got my hands on a copy of O and S’s reconstruction of PAA, I thought I’d go through and pick out what I thought were their best etymons against what I think are E’s best etymons. As I’ve said before both reconstructions seem to be basically mass comparison reconstructions.

The wiki page on Afroasiatic claims they agree on basically nothing, and out of 1000ish and 2600ish I still got less than 100 shared roots, so that’s probably accurate. The page and what I pulled out didn’t exactly line up though, but also there were some roots especially on E’s end (due to a need to reconstruct verbs to nominalize for his PS theories) that I outright changed the meaning of because they actually made his individual arguments stronger; like, say, if you had 4 roots that mean knife in each sub-branch, why assume the etymon means cut?

I compared the roots in case there was something that was an obvious oversight, and while I don’t think their methods were all that good (although O and S’s are a lot better), I didn’t want to discount everything in case there was something like “well their vowel systems are different so I’m not counting roots where even V[os] = V[e]” or like “O/S posit (g,x) < *q while E has (g,x) < *ÿ” being overlooked and miraculously they agreed on like 300 more roots than the page gives them credit. There’s also issues like, well, “Is this particular author doing such a bad job but the critics aren’t seeing that, that he/she/they are dragging the other author/s down by undermining their ok etymons?” etc.

So, like, I’ve messed with the data in a way that’s irrepairable and shit. Mind that. This isn’t scholarly work and isn’t intended to be. And I messed with some of the data - even if I think it’s more representative of their works at a level, from any kind of responsible position I need to make it absolutely clear that it’s not really reflective of their work, but a reflection of my amateur, shitty thoughts on their concordances.

So, for the curious:

So when putting this list together I accidentally kept mixing which side I wrote whose roots together. E tends to have labiovelars where OS have o, E has long vowels, OS don’t, E has tones, OS don’t, E has the voiced velar fricative I transcribed as ÿ and ŋ, OS have q and q’ vs k’ and k. E has p’, the rest I guess you’ll have to guess.

I also marked a few words with * for what might be imitative or baby speak words. *? like on horn is “I’m on the fence of it being imitative”

Vowels are pretty much ignored, but otherwise definite correlates:

kol-f bark (n) dam blood k'os~k'as bone naf breath ben~bin build di3, da3, du3 call dumn~deman cloud k'at' cut* 2ab father* pir fly*? ba2 go sim hear lib heart k'ar horn*? inkwal~2ankol kidney 2er~2âr know lVk'~lak lick* tir liver sum,sim~süm,sim name wan open bu~baw place dak,duk~dik pound k'u2 rise tuf spin ra3-raa3 sun dab,dib-dub tail les,lis tongue ma2 water

Close matches, differing by not a lot of phonological space, but the correlations seem unsystematic or quasi-systematic (E *k = OS *x? or the other way). A lot of this might be due to obfuscation of the subgroups; it’s known beyond these reconstructions that Semitic b, p, f correspond to Egyptian b, p, f but there doesn’t seem to be a pattern to the correspondences beyond [+labial][-nasal]=[+labial][-nasal]... except some roots where b = m, mostly Egyptian to Semitic (iirc it’s believed that snb = slm).

! maaw~mawut die ! har~heraw day ! t(l)'ok' beat ! bak~bax burn ! k'al~k'ar burn ! (t)san brother ! kor~kw'al angry #related to kidney? ! pak~pax break apart* ! yar~3er burn #n.b. OS *e = E *ya pretty consistently ! ka2(up) cover ! t'ub~duf drip* ! g'arub~ÿar(b) dusk ! 2et~iit eat*? ! gur~guud enclose ! 2ir~2il eye #2il is also given for both by the wiki author ! 2aakw~2ax fire ! ŋiiwr~gir flames ! pur~fir flower 1 k'ur~kâr go around ! ĉa3ar~ła2r hair ! qafV3~gâf hold ! qam~kam hold ! fil~bul hole ! ĉa(2i)d~gwi/ad land ! ne2ul~ñaw moist ! bakr~bar morning ! âf~2ap mouth* ! ĉer~sar,sir root ! cab~sVp sew ! sur~tsur sing ! tsoon~soon smell ! bak'~p'ak' split* ! da2~daw walk

Really kind of stretched correspondences, usually requiring twice the amount of special pleading as above:

!! rip~2erib sew !! dabn~zab hair !! yawr~yabil bull !! büł~fil skin !! 3ir~raw sky

A root that’s probably wrong but I didn’t delete it:

!!! c'eyg~c'a3ek shout

Roots on the wiki article it says are part of “the fragile consensus” but either escaped my standards for good etymologies from E and OS or were lost when I changed E or OS’s proposed definitions to fit the data they presented for etymologization:

>> (2a)bVr bull >> (2a)dVm land >> 2igar~kw'ar enclosure >> 3ayn eye #I think for both this was only found in Sem and Egn, which is proto-Sem-Egn, not PAA >> bar son >> gamm mane, beard >> gVn cheek, chin >> gwar3~(gora3?) throat #These words weren’t in E’s but look like it and I guessed on what the OS reconstruction would look like >> gwina3~(gona3?) hand >> kVn cowife >> kwaly??? kidney #that this isn’t VnkwVl damns something >> k'awal, qwar say, call >> sin tooth >> siwan know >> zwr seed >> łVr root >> šun sleep, dream

These I sort of gathered based on a decent scholarly Egyptologist’s work

** (n)i,ku,nak(u) 1sc ** nVn 1pc ** kumV, kV 2sm ** kimV, ki 2sf ** suwa, sV 3sm ** si(y/t)a, si 3sf **-ú~-aw nom (earlier an ergative) **-á abs **Egyptian had an outright ergative participle so like yeah Some AA assumptions $$ m- participle, possible 3 or 4 denoting instruments, resultatives, passive and active meanings, and more. $$ s- causative (likely su-) $$ -í nisba = adjectivizer $$ -át/-út ending for abstract, mass, diminutive, augmentative, female nouns $$ top two combine frequently $$ maybe k became a masculine? maybe u/w too? $$ perhaps an -n- passive? -t- passive? reciprocal voice? (kick each other) $$ emphatic coronal series $$ prefixing conjugation {2 t t y t n t t y t} on imperfect-type stems $$ core verb stems seem to be perfect vs imperfect $$ a lot of sources report *-r has spreading out semantics at the end of a Semitic verb and I believe it. $$ suffixing possessive pronouns $$ probably all of pAA derives its verb system from those same possessive pronouns suffixed to participles, which probably helped the ergative to nominative alignment change. Again, Egn had an ergative participle at one point. It actually used a slightly different form of the possessed agreement system for that though, maybe reflective of a dead case system. $$ personally I think egn broke off early, sem and amz were geographically between it and ethiopia, the cushitic languages broke early but stayed in contact, chadic is cladistically cushitic that broke off in the middle of the ethiopianization of cushitic in the post-islamic era, since it seems to be in cultural memory. beja wasn’t as ethiopianized and is slightly closer to semitic, amz, and in many ways egn surprisingly, omotic was probably adopted into the family, ongota is too creolized to know anything, tones, vowel rebalancing, probably influences of Central/Eastern Sudanic. I have no idea why languages with ATR (i.e. pharyngealization) distinctions would make pharyngealized languages switch to ejectives, so if sem-amz is a thing you just have to postulate why they switched, since egyptian is no help. for all i know egyptian always had an aspiration distinction (which would explain some insane correlations) and then they fell together and split again for coptic.  Don’t think this can be projected to the proto-lang: $$ ablauting everywhere, in nouns and verbs. masdars and singular nouns probably reflect original vowel patterns. !! E and OS reconstruct consonant systems similar to PS and idk about that. Both give 5 vowel core systems but for different reasons and different results. E has length and the central short vowels fall together in all but Omo. Some shenanigans happen to get Cu uu, ii, aa, ə, and ä. Ch ends up with a i u ə, and the other three a i u. OS has e yield ya and o yield wa, ü for u~i results, and does overall less movement.

These are numbers from my number project:

## tsin~tsar two ## kwrad three ## fVd'w four ## magw ten

It’s interesting that many of these shared roots are in fact Swadesh roots and that that mostly happened on accident. E reconsructed 1000 roots, OS 2600, and just using judgements like “a root needs to mean the same thing in two (standard I held E to) or three (standard I used for OS) subbranches” to sift through them brought me down to these. But like most of these roots are fundamentally two segments long. There were even ~false matches in some of them with the phonaesthetic shape of their English glosses - horn would go back to something like *karn in PIE, which looks like the root here. Maybe horns make a kar sound, but with 2iit~2et, idk, I don’t think of eating as making an “eat-eat” sound; I actually threw away a number of roots that had a “kwa-l-kwa-l” (whence Ar. 2akulu) sound which at least kind of sounds like swallowing.

[scriabin-official]

How can I get you to love me?

SCREAMING BIN LOVES HIS WORSHIPPERS. REPENT FOR YOUR SINS AND ENTER THE HOUSE OF THE GOD S CR  IA  B I N

[poetryofchrist]

Comparing SimHebrew with the WLC

All my youth as a Hebrew student, I have used the Aleppo and Westminster Leningrad traditions. I am now into my teen-aged years as a student of this tongue, and I have recently come across the undotted version of the text that is common in modern usage. My colleague and coach, Jonathan Orr-Stav has invented a language for converting this text called malé to a Latin character form called simulated Hebrew, or SimHebrew for short. Jonathan explains:

ḥaser in the context of ktiv (spelling) means 'lacking, deficient'—as opposed to malé, which means 'full'. 

The former refers to the austere use of yods and vavs to indicate /i/ and /o/ or /u/ sounds — limiting them to where they are actually part of the word stem, and relying on niqqud to dispel misunderstandings. The latter refers to the generous use of yods and vavs to indicate /i/, /o/ or /u/. [and as will be noted below, sometimes qamats and patah (a)].

Undotted Hebrew (both today and in the Second Temple era) tends to use malé, esp. for secular purposes. 

I was wondering if it was possible to write a program that would analyse the WLC (a ḥaser text) and produce an undotted version (malé). I think it is. And it is very clear to me that information is lost in this conversion process, notably vowels and accents, but this does simulate the ancient versions that had no vowels (though I would not rush to say that they had no accents). And with that simulation plus a few extra mater lectiones, (vavs and yods that aid the reader), we do have a text that could be subject to text mining without the need to manage Unicode. I am holding my breath about putting the SimHebrew text into the music. At present that will have to wait. But the exercise of programming 9 chapters of test data has proven very instructive so far. One thing it has taught me is how illogical I am at times, thinking one thing and coding another. This is common in programming, especially I imagine in old programmers, but that is anecdotal. I am now going to try and 'explain' my rules in English. There is an easy mapping from Unicode to Latin characters. For the sake of understanding I mapped the members of the non-grammatical team first. A straightforward replace. The Unicode values translate unambiguously: 1490 - g, 1491 - d, 1494 - z, 1495 - k, 1496 - +, 1505 - s, 1506 - y, 1508 - p, 1507 - f, 1510 - x, 1509 - x, 1511 - q, 1512 - r Note I use + for tet (internally). It does have the odd use grammatically, but not for hitting runs, just keeping score. Then the grammatical letters: 1488 - a, 1489 - b, 1492 - h, 1493 - v, 1497 - i, 1499 - c, 1498 - ç, 1500 - l, 1502 - m, 1501 - m, 1504 - n, 1503 - n, 1513 - w, 1514 - t These all have significant impacts on the placement and usage of i's and o's in the SimHebrew representation of the malé square text. Yod and vav have the most complex problems. There is an initial quick conversion for vav, vav+1460 is vi, vav+other vowels are vv, vav+1466 is vo. There's some nuance here since these are not final decisions. They depend on other variables. The holam 1465 can follow many letters and has a number of rules. 1466 is used only with vav and is generally fixed. I also allow myself the generality of converting some common suffixes. It's a bit surprising, but it saves a lot of hunting later.

PatternResult t-1461 c-1462;mticm l-1461 c-1462;mlicm l-1461 h-1462;mlihm n-1464 i-1460;mni*im t-1463 i-1460;mti*im b-1468-1463;i-1460;mbi*im i-1468-1464;hi*ih

(The * is to prevent this as being seen as a double i which might be prevented per later rules. The * like the + is removed as a last step in constructing the full version of the verse.) Some of the above may need restricting, e.g. there are 291 rows with the last combo and they might not all behave the same way in the rest of the WLC. This is the beginning. And I won't continue this level of detail. I need to explain that each of the remaining rules by stem are processed in sequence. They allow one to see if a vowel in the text will cause a conversion to a mater lectionis. All the jots and tittles gradually disappear. This is the matrix: (It will extend - and who knows, may become simpler if the rules appear to have patterns.) It is similar to doing a program to deal with English lemmas. So many exceptions. I began my career as a programmer 54 years ago. I got the job because I could remember a host of three-character nonsense syllables. This program seems to be my bookend. This table breaks down to three sections: Getting to the o's, Getting to the i's, A. vowels that undergo strange transformations, and B. Finally getting to the real i.

Rule abbreviatedApplies to stem (+ = ט)Comment tsere vavnvh exceptions to vav+vowel becomes vv qamats qatanycrn nsy mlc krm ahl awih azn +rk krb kpry lcd pyl sll render vowel a (Unicode 1464) as o qamats qatan afxpqd acl render a as o except for some affixes qamats qatan bwmy render a as o for prefix b allow o lacl allow holam with prefix l allow o bywh allow holam with prefix b allow o vywh allow holam with prefix v allow o eywh allow holam with segol allow o sfywh allow holam with some suffixes prevent oywh acl aph azn ch la mwh pry raw xan zatprevent holam prevent o prefamr prevent holam with some common prefixes

tsere hireqrcc yrc rgn zrh wrq wrp kth kmr kln bar aph yvr ird pl+ wpl +vb render tsere (1461) as i (some conditions) tsere hireqmman allow for some stems beginning with m but prevent i for single prefix mem with tsere tsere hireq trpa ywh allow hireq from tsere for t patah hireqrcc wnh mdi avli ybd pnh kq dbr yin al ph becomes ii but not for prefixed vai patah hireqiild ird יַ ip (1497-1463) becomes ii qamats upqd הָת ht becomes hut -- specialized prefix qamats hireqvwlv ikd 'ָv' qamats-v (1464-1493) becomes iv qamats hireqhih pnh yl qamats i becomes ii except for suffix ' th nh ' qamats hireq pfitr ivm qamats i becomes ii - except for prefix 'vָi' prevent final ikih suppress rendering of final ai as ii allow init pilvn wby allow initial patah-i as ii allow init pi exciwb lqk allow initial patah-i as ii except for trailing u

allow iww yzz rpa qxx nsy ywr nqb nkl lvn ktt abd acr am amn awh aw at azn bxr clm csh cpr cys dbr dmm gbr gll hlc hll hnm kmw kx lb lbb lqk mxa mla ml+ nba ntc npl ntn npx pla psl q+r qnh rgy rnn wqx wbr wck wvb +vb tmm xvh xih yl yll ycb yxb yxmallow hireq (1460) to be realized -- too generous? Note that hireq is rendered as i when a step contains an i anywhere. allow i tqrb nwa ntn mxa ngp lcd lkm allow hireq to be realized for prefix t allow i hwlv wby rby lvi kll nqm nsc lkm allow hireq to be realized for prefix h allow i itmm wmm lkm allow hireq to be realized for prefix i allow i vzvd wlk wlm tpw rmh nwa nqm nkm itr allow hireq to be realized for prefix v allow i lpnh allow hireq to be realized for prefix v allow i cxpkt allow hireq to be realized for prefix c allow i mzmm allow hireq to be realized for prefix m prevent iymindb ymihvd ynqi xvriwdi wlmial pgyial wyir tnin sin sini sir lvi ymiwdi gdyni cnyni brik bin di riq kih acl abidn cid rib irmih hia yir ci mi kli nbia csdi ihvdi cwdi ict itr bli ikm ial id idy anci bnimn iwb cli bit iwral ivm hih ani prevent hireq -- too restrictive? And what will happen with names? prevent i nwbr rpa lkm ird mxa qnh csh suppress hireq prefix n prevent i hixg ixt hlc rgy +tb q+r suppress hireq prefix h prevent i mdmm suppress hireq prefix m prevent i cdbr suppress hireq prefix c prevent i aww ird suppress tsere or hireq prefix aleph or h - may need refining prevent i ioird suppress hireq prefix yod vav prevent i vqrb lqk dmm suppress hireq prefix vav -- prevent i tsuppress hireq for prefix t prevent i ilqk qnh suppress hireq for preterite/imperfect yod prevent i l-xxx suppress hireq for prefix l prevent i umla mxa suppress hireq for suffix u allow dbl ircc wmm lqk ixt iin mdi bxr nplti yl yvr dmm igy wbr qnh kq ntn ml+ pla irw yll ixm gvi npl allow initial double hireq prevent dbl iwlk wlm xpkt wby rpa rby yzz ywr ww nqm nkl mni tmm mla mim kx lvn ill ild nptli ixg nwa cpr kmw npx gmlial gll amn dbr azn mah +vb aliab aliwmy alixvr ink amr at ail ain akiry akiyzr  adryi iyd iwb aim psl ptiw abir xvh xih xivn wit bvw wvb aiw awh gbr anci lb cys brit ira bli idy nsc q+r pl+prevent double hireq except forlkm ensures leading ii for stem, no ii anywhere else. There is supposedly a rule that with a prefix, the i is not doubled. Sometimes...

from Blogger https://ift.tt/3f4magh via IFTTT

[ultrasfcb-blog]

Pro14: Cooney kicks Ulster to a 16-12 win over Cardiff Blues

Pro14: Cooney kicks Ulster to a 16-12 win over Cardiff Blues

Pro14: Cooney kicks Ulster to a 16-12 win over Cardiff Blues

Ulster’s Marcell Coetzee is tackled by Cardiff’s Nick Williams

Pro14: Ulster 16-12 Cardiff Blues Ulster: (10) 16 Try: Treadwell Pens: Cooney 3 Con: Cooney Cardiff Blues: (12) 12 Tries: Morgan, Dacey Con: Evans

Ulster got the better of Cardiff Blues 16-12 in a hard-fought Pro14 battle.

A pair of John Cooney penalties in the second-half earned the Irish side a narrow victory at Kingspan Stadium.

All the tries came in a the opening half as Blues’ Matthew Morgan and Kristian Dacey crossed either side of Kieran Treadwell’s score for Ulster.

In an increasingly scrappy contest, Cooney’s boot proved the difference as the Blues paid the price for Seb Davies’ controversial yellow card.

Cardiff were clinging onto a one-point advantage when Davies was sin-binned for a late hit on Ross Kane on the fringes of a ruck and the lock returned to action just as Cooney was kicking the hosts into a four-point lead.

The introduction of Rory Best also proved crucial for Ulster as the Ireland captain’s experience at the line-out and breakdown gave the home side a lift during a stop-start second period with the hooker winning a late turnover penalty to deny Cardiff a chance of a winning try.

Scrum-half John Cooney scored 11 points for Ulster

Bookended by Cooney

Cooney started and ended the scoring on a cold Belfast evening as the scrum-half slotted an early penalty to give his side an early lead.

But the visitors were the better team for much of the opening period with the powerful ball-carrying ability of Nick Williams and Samu Manoa and some probing kicks by Jarrod Evans creating difficulties for the Ulster defence.

The Welsh side deservedly took the lead when Morgan managed to ground the ball under pressure for the opening try in the 10th minute.

Ulster regained the lead just minutes later when Stuart McCloskey followed up his brilliant burst with an off load that bounced off Treadwell’s knee and the lock showed impressive pace to gather the ball and tumble over the line.

A rock-solid line-out maul provided the platform for the next Blues’ try with Dacey darting through a tangle of bodies to dive over for a score converted by Evans.

Referee Stuart Berry shows a yellow card to Cardiff Blues lock Seb Davies

Tide turns for Ulster

Ulster looked devoid of ideas as they trudged off at the break but they enjoyed the better of the second half as they benefitted from the introduction of Best, Johnny McPhillips and Jacob Stockdale from the bench.

Best’s fifth appearance of the season immediately settled the home side with a couple of accurate line-out throws before Davies was sent to the line after referee Stuart Berry’s lengthy consultation with his TMO.

Another penalty just minutes later allowed Cooney to kick his side back into the lead and the scrum-half added another penalty from in front of the posts as the Ulster forwards took control of an increasingly feisty contest.

The Blues produced a late flourish as they chased a match-winning try but Best and Nick Timoney combined to win a turnover under their own posts and the hosts were able to hold out for a narrow win.

Ulster assistant coach Dwayne Peel on BBC Radio Ulster: “A scrappy game and it was a bit greasy underfoot and I thought Cardiff were very physical and put us under a lot of pressure.

“Obviously we’re very happy with the win but as coaches we have a lot to work on but the four points for us is a happy feeling in the end.”

Ulster: M Lowry; H Speight; J Hume, S McCloskey, L Ludik; B Burns, J Cooney; A Warwick, R Herring, M Moore, A O’Connor (captain), K Treadwell, S Reidy, J Murphy, M Coetzee.

Replacements: R Best, E O’Sullivan, R Kane, I Nagle, N Timoney, D Shanahan, J McPhillips, J Stockdale.

Cardiff Blues: M Morgan; B Scully, H Millard, R Lee-Lo, J Harries; J Evans, L Williams (capt.); R Gill, K Dacey, S Andrews, S Davies, J Turnbull, S Manoa, O Robinson, N Williams.

Replacements: L Belcher, R Carré, D Lewis, G Earle, J Down, T Williams, S Shingler, G Smith.

Referee: Stuart Berry (SARU)

BBC Sport – Rugby Union ultras_FC_Barcelona

ultras FC Barcelona - https://ultrasfcb.com/rugby-union/14096/

#Barcelona

[jc]

Das Beste aus Twitter, Januar-Edition

Schon wie­der einen Monat alt, das neue Jahr. Gut, dass uns die Tweets noch ein­mal in die Weihnachts- und Jah­res­wech­sel­zeit ent­füh­ren.

-So, mei­ne Süße, wir müs­sen nicht mehr weit fah­ren, dann sind wir zu Hau­se und kön­nen spie­len, okay? -Okay. Aber sag mal, wie heißt du? Wie mich mei­ne Vier­jäh­ri­ge soeben in der vol­len S-Bahn echt in die Bre­douil­le gebracht hat.

— Ste­fan Hein­richs (@stefnhs) Decem­ber 16, 2019

every morning, gor­don waits for his girls to get on the school bus safe­ly (Becky Lynn FB) pic​.twit​ter​.com/​w​9​6​4​B​I​k​gDD

— Humor And Ani­mals (@humorandanimals) Decem­ber 15, 2019

This just won the inter­net pic​.twit​ter​.com/​v​W​7​M​N​c​v​Y1Y

— Giles Paley-Phillips (@eliistender10) Decem­ber 15, 2019

-Papa, was ist eine Natio­nal­hym­ne? -Das ist ein Lied, das alle ken­nen. Und wenn die Men­schen es gemein­sam sin­gen, haben sie das Gefühl, dass sie zusam­men­ge­hö­ren. -So wie Aram­sam­sam?

— Ste­fan Hein­richs (@stefnhs) Decem­ber 16, 2019

Lobby-Regel der Buch­bran­che: Kul­tur­gut Buch gilt immer dann, wenn es um die wirt­schaft­li­chen Inter­es­sen ande­rer geht. Wirt­schafts­gut Buch gilt immer dann, wenn es um die wirt­schaft­li­chen Inter­es­sen von einem selbst geht.

— Lean­der Wat­tig (@leanderwattig) Decem­ber 17, 2019

Tier­han­del beim Hams­ter­kauf: Hat­ten Sie schon­mal Hams­ter? Haben Sie sich mit dem The­ma beschäf­tigt? Wis­sen Sie was die essen? Haben Sie genug Platz? Aus­stat­tung? Kau­fen Sie noch die­ses Fach­buch! Kran­ken­haus 10 min nach Geburt des Kin­des. Hier Ihr Baby.Vielleicht bis spä­ter

— Deko­fee (@toschcrs) Decem­ber 18, 2019

Ihr nehmt doch auch immer euren kaf­fee­voll­au­to­mat mit in den Urlaub oder? ODER?????

— Königin👸🏻von B💋nn und Pär­chenk­ack­scheiss­queen (@EffzehEngel) Decem­ber 19, 2019

Dam­mit! pic​.twit​ter​.com/​1​e​3​U​x​Y​o​AVW

— Fun Signs & Graf­fi­ti (@SignsFun) Decem­ber 18, 2019

Immer die Hoff­nung, dass Stoff­tie­re, die nicht so schön sind, an Kin­der ver­schenkt wer­den, die sie trotz­dem lieb haben. pic​.twit​ter​.com/​O​g​e​9​q​K​Q​3DV

— Peter Breu­er (@peterbreuer) Decem­ber 20, 2019

Every time pic​.twit​ter​.com/​R​e​d​S​v​v​H​IYs

— Kate Bea­ton (@beatonna) Decem­ber 20, 2019

The first time in histo­ry it is caught on came­ra. Mer­ce­des giving birth. pic​.twit​ter​.com/​K​O​Y​H​r​0​w​9WQ

— Only in Ame­ri­ca (@Crazzyintheusa) Novem­ber 29, 2019

Kin­der loh­nen sich allein des­halb, weil man für sehr sehr lan­ge Zeit immer Weih­nachts­ge­schen­ke für die Ver­wandt­schaft hat: Foto­bü­cher, Foto­ka­len­der, Fami­li­en­ka­len­der (mit Fotos), gerahm­te Bil­der, Gut­schein für Foto­shoo­ting (und nächs­te Weih­nach­ten dann s.o.),...

— Nata­scha Stro­bl (@Natascha_Strobl) Decem­ber 23, 2019

I Tried Giving My Daugh­ter The Worst Xmas Gift Ever & I Didn’t Expect This Reac­tion 😢 pic​.twit​ter​.com/​4​4​c​J​y​t​I​83m

— LGND (@iamlgndfrvr) Decem­ber 20, 2019

Der Notar liest den Ange­hö­ri­gen den letz­ten Wil­len des rei­chen Erb­las­sers vor: „Zunächst möch­te ich mich Onkel Bernd zuwen­den, der mir wie­der­holt das Ver­spre­chen abnahm, ihn in mei­nem Tes­ta­ment zu erwäh­nen: - Hal­lo, Bernd, altes Haus! Nun aber zur Auf­tei­lung des Erbes:“ #Notar

— Domi­nik Schül­ler (RA & Notar) (@ra_schueller) Decem­ber 27, 2019

Wenn man deut­schen vor­wirft dass sie die Umwelt ver­sau­en schaf­fen sie es irgend­wie dsss am Ende der Debat­te raus­kommt dass kein deut­scher je nazi war außer hit­ler und zwei drei ande­re

— Lars Weis­brod (@larsweisbrod) Decem­ber 29, 2019

Auch glück­lich, den dies­jäh­ri­gen Advents­ka­len­der­wahn­sinn über­stan­den zu haben? Pri­ma, dann geht’s jetzt bald wei­ter mit dem Oster­ka­len­der! 🐣 #its­at­hingnow pic​.twit​ter​.com/​F​e​q​y​s​K​8​atQ

— Astrid Dirk­sen (@tweetingastrid) Decem­ber 31, 2019

Immer lus­tig, wenn man über Essen redet, ich erwäh­ne, dass ich Vege­ta­ri­er bin und die ers­te Reak­ti­on fast immer ist:“ Ja, also ich esse ja total wenig Fleisch und wenn, dann nur bio und echt sel­ten, ich pro­bier eh weni­ger zu essen...“ Like clock­work.

— Wur­zel­mann (@Wurzelmann) Decem­ber 31, 2019

#Sil­ves­ter zu Zei­ten des Kli­ma­wan­dels. Man wirft sich in #Lich­ter­fel­de unan­ge­zün­de­te (!) Böl­ler zu. Wir prü­fen, ob wenigs­tens „Peng“ geru­fen wur­de.#welcome110

— Poli­zei Ber­lin (@polizeiberlin) Decem­ber 31, 2019

break­down of my deca­de (2010-2019): ✨🌈💕 - 77.76% in jail - 11.05% in soli­ta­ry con­fi­ne­ment - 51.23% figh­t­ing for gen­der affir­ming care - 100.00% being true to mys­elf no mat­ter what - 0.00% backing down#Hap­py­Ne­wYe­ar

— Chel­sea E. Man­ning (@xychelsea) Decem­ber 31, 2019

Doof, wenn man für IFTTT das Pass­wort ver­lo­ren hat.... 🤷🏻‍♀️ Trotz­dem: Ein tol­les neu­es Jahr euch allen!!! https://t.co/EtCqF8DGm8

— Hei­di Schönenberg-H. (@minus78) Decem­ber 31, 2019

2050 ist so weit weg wie 1990.

— Sham Jaff (@sham_jaff) Janu­a­ry 2, 2020

Heu­te kam die Rech­nung des Kran­ken­hau­ses über den 2-monatigen Auf­ent­halt mei­ner Mut­ter wäh­rend ihrer Krebs­be­hand­lung. 24,74€ für hoch­qua­li­fi­zier­te Betreu­ung. Ich zah­le sooo sooo so ger­ne Steu­ern und bin dank­bar, dass wir uns um Men­schen in Not küm­mern 🙏🙏🙏

— Ali Mahl­od­ji 😎 (@mahlo) Novem­ber 20, 2019

eine beschei­de­ne fra­ge: WARUM? ES SIND GESAMMELTE FUCKING WERKE. KANN MAN DA BITTESCHÖN DIE BUCHRÜCKEN ALLE GLEICH GESTALTEN? HM? pic​.twit​ter​.com/​r​6​i​A​q​F​o​hAD

— schno­er­p­sel (@schnoerpsel) Janu­a­ry 1, 2020

Was hat denn die Umwelt jemals für uns getan?

— leon­ce­und­le­na (@leonceundlena) Janu­a­ry 2, 2020

Ich weiß, ich bin da für vie­le zu sehr Hip­pie im Kopf, aber ich fin­de es ein Stück weit ver­rückt, dass die Reak­ti­on ist: „Es braucht Spen­den, um neue Affen zur Belus­ti­gung ihr Leben lang ein­zu­sper­ren.“ Statt zu sagen: „Das ist so furcht­bar, lasst uns nie wie­der Affen ein­sper­ren.“

— Herm (@hermsfarm) Janu­a­ry 2, 2020

A good les­son for the New Year: never give up on your goals. pic​.twit​ter​.com/​x​j​Y​R​R​q​a​dvm

— Bri­an Klaas (@brianklaas) Janu­a­ry 1, 2020

Mein Vor­satz für 2020 „fit hal­ten“ ist bereits erle­digt - das war leicht. Ich weiß gar nicht, war­um da ande­re immer so’n gro­ßes Ding draus machen. pic​.twit​ter​.com/​2​m​n​3​i​1​X​vAH

— Rico Apitz (@10Apitz) Janu­a­ry 1, 2020

im stan­des­amt ist bestimmt die höl­le los weil so vie­le paa­re am 20.20.2020 hei­ra­ten wol­len

— Ilo­na Hart­mann (@zirkuspony) Janu­a­ry 2, 2020

Die Men­schen, die mut­maß­lich den Brand im Kre­fel­der Zoo ver­ur­sacht haben, haben ihr Fehl­ver­hal­ten erkannt und sich der Poli­zei gestellt. Wenn alle Men­schen soviel Rück­grat bewei­sen wür­den, wäre die­se Welt eine ande­re.

— Gur­ken­sand­wich (@Gurkensandwich1) Janu­a­ry 2, 2020

This BBC adver­ti­sing for Dra­cu­la is geni­us. A series of bloo­dy sta­kes protru­ding from a bill­board. See­min­gly ran­dom, until darkness falls and they begin to cast a shadow. Fabu­lous. pic​.twit​ter​.com/​8​4​a​I​l​7​o​97r

— Alex Andre­ou (@sturdyAlex) Janu­a­ry 3, 2020

Das Blö­de an dem gan­zen Lego, das die Kin­der geschenkt bekom­men haben, ist ja, dass sie unbe­dingt beim Auf­bau­en hel­fen wol­len.

— Juliet Gibb (@mamigration) Decem­ber 28, 2019

„Mama, war­um essen wir im Kin­der­gar­ten nie Fon­due?“ Ich wer­de die Fra­ge mal an die Kita Whats­App Grup­pe wei­ter­ge­ben und es mir mit einer Tüte Chips gemüt­lich machen.

— Lil­li Mar­le­ne (@MarleneHellene) Janu­a­ry 3, 2020

„Die Mama hat kei­ne Arbeit, außer an der Stra­ße zu ste­hen.“ [Wie der #gKH dem #kKH erklärt, dass ich jetzt selb­stän­dig bin und mich ein­mal in der Woche als Schul­weg­hel­fe­rin nütz­lich mache.]

— Mela­nie Wyssen-Voß (@Mellcolm) Janu­a­ry 5, 2020

Beleh­rung via DM: ich darf nicht mehr „jemand“ schrei­ben, das hie­ße nun jemensch. Kanns­te Dir nicht aus­den­ken. 🙄

— Quee­nie (@Bergsommerliebe) Janu­a­ry 6, 2020

Guten Mor­gen. War­um wer­den Auto­fah­rer ver­rückt, wenn sie zwei Minu­ten hin­ter einem Müll­las­ter oder einem ent­la­den­wer­den­den LKW war­ten müs­sen - akzep­tie­ren aber 20 Minu­ten vor einer Park­haus­ein­fahrt? #Gelas­sen­heit im #Stra­ßen­ver­kehr

— Sebas­ti­an Eckert (@SebastianEckert) Janu­a­ry 7, 2020

Ich will mich ja nicht zu weit aus dem Fens­ter leh­nen... aber Schnee in LKWs rum­fah­ren ist even­tu­ell ein Grund für kei­nen Schnee. https://t.co/yChfJbtATe

— Frank (@frank_opitz) Janu­a­ry 8, 2020

Eltern Whats­App Grup­pe orga­ni­siert das Geburts­tags­ständ­chen für den Klas­sen­leh­rer. Gewünscht wird dass die musi­ka­li­sche Dar­bie­tung in ver­schie­de­nen Spra­chen von den Kin­dern vor­ge­führt wird. Bis­her Rumä­nisch, Chi­ne­sisch, Spa­nisch, Ita­lie­nisch ... Ich bat Hoch­deutsch an.

— Quat­tro­milf 🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈 (@ebonyplusirony) Janu­a­ry 8, 2020

Der aus­tra­li­sche Pre­mier ist nach eige­nen Anga­ben „ent­täuscht“, dass die Feu­er­ka­ta­stro­phe mit der Debat­te zu den natio­na­len Kli­ma­zie­len ver­mischt wer­de. Ver­steh ich. War frü­her auch oft ent­täuscht, dass mein Schla­fen im Unter­richt mit dem Noten­ver­ga­be­pro­zess ver­mischt wur­de.

— Nico Sems­rott (@nicosemsrott) Janu­a­ry 10, 2020

Ich bin rich­tig sau­er!!! 😡 Wer­de nie mehr beim #Sie­mens Schuh cen­ter ein­kau­fen!!! Schä­men sie sich @JoeKaeser 😤 pic​.twit​ter​.com/​0​s​P​n​8​P​H​0O0

— Ger­rit Mül­ler (@gerritmueller) Janu­a­ry 13, 2020

* * *

Ende des Tex­tes. Bit­te wer­fen Sie eine Mün­ze ein!

spen­den 

(Original unter: https://1ppm.de/2020/01/das-beste-aus-twitter-januar-2020/)

[jc]

Das Beste aus Twitter und Mastodon, Januar-Edition

Wenigs­tens noch einen Favo­ri­ten aus Mastodon gefun­den. Ich hät­te schon fast das „und Mastodon“ aus der Über­schrift gestri­chen.

in ger­ma­ny we don’t say „i love you“, in ger­ma­ny we say „wenn es sein muss, hel­fe ich dir sams­tag­mor­gens beim umzug, auch wenn wir bei­de über drei­ßig sind und es fir­men dafür gibt“

— Jan Skud­la­rek (@janskudlarek) Decem­ber 22, 2018

Din­ge, auf die ihr in 2019 getrost ver­zich­ten könnt um gesund zu blei­ben: -Homöo­pa­thie -Osteo­pa­thie -Rei­ki -Schüßler-Salze -Bach­blü­ten -(die aller­meis­ten) Vit­amin­zu­sät­ze -TCM -Dorn-Therapie -Anti­bio­ti­ka bei Virus­in­fek­ten. #Ser­vicet­weet

— Nata­lie Grams (@NatalieGrams) Janu­a­ry 2, 2019

Die Welt ist schlecht: Heu­te traf ich auf ein ver­stör­tes Rudel Overhead-Projektoren, die jemand mit kal­tem Her­zen vor die Tür gesetzt hat. Kein Respekt mehr vor den Alten! Es ist scho­ckie­rend. pic​.twit​ter​.com/​U​C​g​t​7​t​U​5ae

— Wib­ke Lad­wig (@sinnundverstand) Janu­a­ry 2, 2019

Beim Tier­arzt: Ein Hund kotzt, alle ande­ren Hun­de ren­nen fas­zi­niert hin und wol­len es fres­sen. So funk­tio­niert die AfD.

— Vol­ker Dohr (@VlkrDhr) Decem­ber 16, 2017

Leu­te, das Pro­blem ist doch echt lös­bar: Ein­fach auf jeden Böl­ler einen „Halal“-Sticker und schon kau­fen 13 Pro­zent Arsch­ge­sich­ter kei­ne mehr.

— Vol­ker Dohr (@VlkrDhr) Decem­ber 22, 2018

In unse­rer Gynä­ko­lo­gie ist der Ultraschallbild-Drucker kaputt und wir geben jetzt ein­fach allen das ers­te Kinder-Ultraschall-Bild aus der Google-Bildersuche mit.

— Assis­tenz­arzt (@JoStowasser) Sep­tem­ber 12, 2018

Kind2: „Darf ich Fern­se­hen gucken?“ „Was möch­test du denn gucken?“ Kind2: „Den Käse im Was­ser!“ „????“ Es hat gedau­ert. Sehr lan­ge gedau­ert. pic​.twit​ter​.com/​v​6​9​X​O​5​C​jMt

— Der Dop­pel­dau­men­mann (@doppeldaumen) Janu­a­ry 6, 2019

Wenn jemand Roll­kra­gen­pull­over trägt, bin ich miss­trau­isch.

— Ada Blitz (@bangpowwww) Janu­a­ry 6, 2019

Wenn die media­le Ver­harm­lo­sung des ras­sis­ti­schen Anschlags von #bot­trop so wei­ter geht, for­dern muti­ge Jour­na­lis­ten die Opfer bald zur Ent­schul­di­gung beim armen Atten­tä­ter auf, weil sie des­sen Auto so unan­ge­nehm ver­beult haben. pic​.twit​ter​.com/​5​5​L​x​O​P​z​MPk

— Sascha Lobo (@saschalobo) Janu­a­ry 3, 2019

Sin­ce hair can’t be pre­ser­ved in fos­sils we can’t rule out the pos­si­bi­li­ty that dino­saurs loo­ked like this pic​.twit​ter​.com/​d​J​o​o​e​S​B​qgr

— ᶜʰᵃⁿᶜᵉ¨̮ (@_ChaChaChance) Janu­a­ry 6, 2019

How did we get here? pic​.twit​ter​.com/​n​3​e​I​O​d​c​whR

— gaeel (@_gaeel_) Janu­a­ry 8, 2019

Wenn man es posi­tiv betrach­tet, bleibt fest­zu­stel­len, dass man wenigs­tens nicht die ers­ten zwei Stun­den Mathe beim Schmidt hat.

— Tan­te Maud (@TanteMaud) Janu­a­ry 7, 2019

gera­de Linie: ______________________________________ gestri­chel­te Linie: ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ Ins­tasto­ry von Leu­ten auf 1 Kon­zert: .….….….….….….….….….….….….….….….

— Dok­tor Alman (@felixkrull1731) Decem­ber 28, 2018

Die Jugend von heu­te wird nie die­ses Gefühl von Frust emp­fin­den, wenn man einen Film guckt und mit­ten drin auf ein­mal ein ande­rer Film beginnt, weil der Bru­der schnell etwas auf­neh­men muss­te und es die ein­zi­ge VHS-Kassette in greif­ba­rer Nähe war. Ja, wir wur­den noch abge­här­tet!

— lo0nymo0n 🕹 (@loonymoon) Janu­a­ry 13, 2019

„Hi Süße, hast du Durch­fall?“ „Was? Nein?!“ „Also bist du bereit für was Fes­tes?“ 😏 So Leu­te das war’s, jetzt hab ich alles erlebt.

— Schma­gülz­chen (@MissSchmaguelze) Janu­a­ry 13, 2019

Jour­na­lis­ten: „Twit­ter ist in Deutsch­land kom­plett irrele­vant.“ Auch Jour­na­lis­ten: „Ein Poli­ti­ker ver­lässt Twit­ter, lass uns das groß auf der 1 machen.“

— Tors­ten Beeck (@TorstenBeeck) Janu­a­ry 13, 2019

Man­che den­ken auch, jeden Tag ein Spie­gel­sel­fie, das reicht an Selbst­re­flek­ti­on.

— Schma­gülz­chen (@MissSchmaguelze) Janu­a­ry 13, 2019

Kin­der ohne zwei­ten Vor­na­men, wie wisst ihr wann eure Eltern wütend auf euch sind?

— Assis­tenz­arzt (@JoStowasser) Janu­a­ry 5, 2019

MARIE KONDO: „What about the­se ZipLoc bags of Cat-5 and USB cables under your bed?„ ME: „They spark joy.„ KONDO: „But -„ ME: „THEY SPARK JOY“

— Alex Fitz­pa­trick (@AlexJamesFitz) Janu­a­ry 11, 2019

Spen­de hier und ich ver­dopp­le! Ich unter­stüt­ze mit dei­ner Spen­de einen guten Zweck. Jeder Euro hilft. Aktu­ell samm­le ich für das Tier­heim Bonn.

spen­den 

(Original unter: https://1ppm.de/2019/01/das-beste-aus-twitter-und-mastodon/)