#since that tree is probably tall enough but it still need to read more into the specifics

[monsterbroth]

there’s two possums in the tree out the front window I need to go to bed but I really want to know how this plays out

[cyten0]

A Symphony In Crimson

Act 1: A Movement in Black

Chapter 9

The house has been much nicer this time around. It feels like everyone is working together a bit better, there’s a closer bond of trust. The others were quite surprised by Bonnie’s marksmanship! But all of them seem a little stronger. The first floor has been a breeze really. Which is good, since it means you haven’t had to take any hits really. Nothing to try and cover up. Plus, the party has taken less hits, which means less temptation. Stars your hungry.

Your sitting down for snacks when Odile does their coinflip thing with Isa. Looks like they lost this time.

▲ “What was that about, madam?”

◆ “Ah well. I asked the Favor tree to win my next coin flip.”

✿ “Huh?”

◉ “Such a silly favor.”

◆ “Purely for scientific reasons. I wanted to see if there was anything to this Favor tree business. As we can see, apparently not much.”

The others look a little disappointed by that, and your just a little hurt for some reason, as usual.

▲ “… Well you didn’t put any belief into it, so of course nothing didn’t happen. Sif actually told me a bit about that!”

Huh! Oh right! You did!

◆ “Really? Tell me more.”

Oh STARS yes, you get to talk more about this, it’s so cool! It still hurts your head to talk about, but it’s SO WORTH IT!!!!

✦ “Using favor trees, and the right steps, you can call spare energy from other worlds! The trees aren’t the only way, but its certainly one of them! But in order to do so, you have to care about what your wishing for, otherwise they won’t feel compelled to answer you. You can do all the steps perfectly right, and not get a thing! But if you care enough, you can get something even if you do nearly every step wrong.”

✿ “Woah! That’s so cool!”

◆ “I’ve never heard this before…... Oh, Is this a field of study from your homeland?”

Oh, they remembered! They must have spent some effort doing that. You nod.

◆ “Fascinating. How effective is this method?”

Heh, time to shock them all.

✦ “Well, it might not have been a favor tree, but. I bet the king used a similar method to get Timecraft!”

◉ “WHAT!!!”

▲ “Oh Crab!”

◆ “You’re Certain?”

✦ “That power comes from the stars. It’s no coincidence his armor is decorated with them.”

✿ “Oh yeah! The poster!”

◉ “Does that mean ANYONE could do that? And be just as dangerous?”

No it’s not that good but… Hm… It hurts your head but...

✦ “No. Getting that much power would not only require an insane commitment, but would require really lengthy, costly, and complicated rituals that would take months in order to draw from enough stars.”

◉ “Oh thank change.”

▲ “Makes you wonder about his motive though…”

Huh. Isa’s right, it does mean the king is awfully dedicated. Big wishes like that take effort… A wish like that is probably why your here, right? But you still need more information. This gives information as to what it is, but it doesn’t make sense why you’d be here. Your wish was way too small, can’t be that. If only you could read that book in the storage room, the picture on the cover makes you think it might be about wishcraft. But trying to remember a language from barricaded memories of memories is a few steps of separation too many. And your head still hurts a TON from yesterday.

Ah well. You’ll figure out, bit by bit. Your making progress! It’s only been… Hm. You haven't kept track how many times you’ve looped. Might want to ask loop about that. Anyways, it’s time for snacks, and your super hungry! You’ll try and cut down just a little bit, but that’s gonna be a tall order.

>>>

Your in the library. Your eyes got caught by the diary again, and Mirabelle is reading it out again. Then the others start talking about the country. It’s hard to listen to it again.

✿ “Still…. The name of that country…. What was it again?”

▲ “Oh, I think it was something like A-”

You all suddenly get a massive headache as Isa tries to say it! Your head feels like it’s going to split open it hurts so blinding much! It hurts so much you can only see red! You cover your eyes so they don’t notice. It hurts it hurts it hurts but…. Then… The pain…. Subsides…..

You look up. That. Didn’t happen last time. What… Odile. She stopped Mira from interrupting?

✿ “Ow. Crab, that hurt way more then I thought.”

◉ “Ow ow ow… Madam, why did you let that happen?”

◆ “Gems, that hurt…. Siffrin?”

She… She did that for you…? Just so you’d have a chance to? You really don’t deserve that. Others shouldn’t have to hurt for your needs. But….

✦ “….. Starts with an A. Heh. It’s something!”

The others give puzzled looks, as you slot the diary back into the bookshelf. That one. That helps a lot more then just Siffrin. That’s for all of them.

>>>

Your on the third floor, in the room with the person doing bodycraft again. Key is obtained, but your a little bored, so you decide to take a look at the closet.

▲ “Oh, look at this shirt! It’s the same material as your cloak, right Sif?”

◆ “It looks very warm. I’m surprised you managed to wear it all through summer.”

Right. This cloak was one of the first things you ever had. You never questioned it much.

✦ “It’s actually quite cool? Never get hot in it really.”

◉ “Really?”

▲ “...Sif, mind if I take a look real quick?”

Huh! You're a little nervous to have him so close, but… Okay. The only wounds you’ve taken are covered up well enough, so it… Should be fine, right?

You nod. Isabeau kneels and takes a hold of your cloak lifting it up and examining. it. You can feel his breath against your body, feel the warmth exude from him, hear his heartbeat so keenly, smell his body and it’s taste, feel the slight tugs and motions as he handles the fabric... It’s hard to focus.

▲ “… Holy Crab… This is some impressive work.”

✦ “Huh? What do you mean?”

▲ “Okay, starting on the simple side, It’s got a very interesting stitching style. Not very Vaugardian at all, and seems to focus on being highly durable. Like, borderline armor durable. It’s even fireproof. Difficult to pull off. Plus it’s been treated to be stainless as well.”

◉ “Huh! That’s some good traveling cloths.”

▲ “Oh that’s just the beginning. Someone decided to take this already impressive cloak, and literally stitch craft into the fabric. And not just a little, there’s a bunch! Self repair, temperature regulation, it even adjusts to your size! And to top it off, while you can’t tell normally, some of the fabric inside glows a little in dark places, showing some interesting patterns!... Hey, they even sewed a little butterfly emblem on the inseam!”

✿ “Woah! That sounds REALLY fancy!”

▲ “Honestly Sif, this cloak alone is practically worth an entire village?!? Where did you even get this?”

… You don’t speak. You remember Siffrin was important in his homeland. Guess you got an idea how important.

▲ “… Ah. Hey, it’s alright. I’m sure they’d be happy with how you’ve used it.”

✦ “… Yeah.”

The others are confused, but you move on. It’s fine.

>>>

Got the third floor handled, and got food at the bathrooms. Odile didn’t interupt this time, even though you ate a lot during the snack breaks, maybe because of the increased trust? And now you’ve obtained the Keyknife! And are back at the entrance…

Hm. You wonder. Your curious about that statue. You remember Mira mentioning that these statues are connections to the change god. Who’s is the one that blessed you?

✦ “Hey, Before we go ahead, I want to check something”

◉ “Huh? Okay, let’s go!”

>>>

Your back in the statue room. Your not expecting anything, but your curious about it. You take a closer look.

Hm. Not to judge but… Oh, Looks like the others are judging instead.

✿ “Can noses look like that?”

▲ “Wow, it’s left eye is somehow above the right brow.”

◆ “I can’t tell if it’s smiling or frowning.

You notice Mirabelle is oddly quiet. You had suspicions but...

✦ “...Mirabelle?”

◉ “I… I was trying to make it look nice and gentle…”

▲ “CRAB, MIRA WE’RE SO SORRY!!!!”

✿ “SORRY WE SAID YOUR STATUE SUCKED!!!!”

◉ “It’s alright…. I’ll get my revenge on you all someday.”

The others shudder, and you smile a bit.

Hm. So this is Mirabelle's statue, huh? A connection between her and the change god, the only one unharmed in the house, and the one that gives you this blessing each time...

✦ “Mira, can you put your hand on the statue?”

◉ “Um? Okay, sure?”

She puts her hand on the statue, and suddenly, the room shifts!

Your both pulled into that strange realm again! But. Your still here? You havn’t been teleported, you’ve been brought…. Elsewhere.

You look around. It’s nothing but pure white as far as you can see. There’s a faint humming, in that sound only you can hear.

There’s a figure approaching. You don’t know what to do! Wait is that?

◉ “Euphrasie?”

Is that the name of the Head Housemaiden? They seem a little surprised, but then…

❍✿ Incorrect buzzer

❍✿ “mirabelle!!! i can't believe u can't recognize me ಠ_ಠ"

Their wearing bonnies face now?

◉ “Wait you changed shapes?!? Are…”

❍◉ “yay!!! o(≧▽≦)o got it so fast! it’s me! The Change God ＠＾▽＾＠”

Your stunned. You can’t move. Wait, Mirabelle’s crying!

❍◎ “oh no don’t cry! i didn’t want to make you cry (╥﹏╥)”

◉ “I’m so sorry!!!! For not changing enough, for being useless, for lying and making everyone think you blessed me, for-”

❍▲ “nonono your all good! ( : ౦ ‸ ౦ : ) i’m not worried about any of that. you’re all good!(≧◡≦) “

◉ “Huh?

❍✿ “if I was upset, i wouldn’t have helped you all earlier! (⁀ᗢ⁀) but I did because I’m rooting for you. both of you!”

H-huh! They… they are?… Mirabelle dries her tears, and seems happier.

❍◆ “i’m about to tell you something, that you won’t remember for a lot of reasons. well, your brain won’t, but your heart will!!!”

❍▲ “it’s true that, as the Change God, i can’t do much to help you all. but i feel okay with that, because you all have the real power! you’re really strong mirabelle! ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ”

❍◎ “just the will to change things is enough to do anything! and look how far you’ve gotten without my help!o(>ω<)o but if that’s not enough…”

The figure’s form dissipates, revealing a single, small, cloaked figure, with the face of the statue from earlier.

❍ “You are loved, mirabelle. i see you changing, even if you do not. you are always changing, evolving, growing. and even if you’re not, that’s ok. Because life might be about changes, but sometimes it’s about staying right where you are, sometimes. i’m proud of you, and i love you!”

She looks at them not sure what to say. Your just happy to see her happy at this point.

❍ “and i love this stupid face you made me and i’m never letting anyone destroy it!!! got it?”

Mirabelle gives them a hug. The figure seems surprised! But allows it.

◉ “….Thank you. You’re not what I was expecting, but I’d expect nothing less. Thank you so much…”

❍◎ “hehehe…. euphie is right, your super stinking cute!”

Mirabelle lets go, and wipes away her tears.

❍✿ “okay! that’s your special god call! i’ll send you back now, but i’ma chat with your friend here a little more!”

◉ “Huh? WAH-”

In a blink, Mirabelle is gone. It’s just you and the change god now… Their disguise melts. Their form shifts. Their cloak billows out and grows to tower over you. Their face pure shadow. As they speak, their demeanor shifts, ever so slightly. Their voice echoes in the unheard sound only you hear. The space fills with twirling shapes.

❍ “Sorry to keep you waiting. But I wanted to talk to her first. She needs those words desperately, and has been waiting for them from me for a while now!”

✦ “I-I um!”

❍ “It’s alright!!! I know. I know. About the island, about the timeloops, about who you are and... It’s okay…. I-I’m sorry I can’t help you much! It made me very happy to see my little gift helped make you happy!!! Y-You’ve been through a lot.”

You… They care. They care? And they did know? They know and… and you’re crying. You’ve stopped holding your eyes in shape, your horn is out, your heart glows, you just collapse. And you’re crying.

❍ “I um!! okay, maybe you just need a second to let it out a bit. I’m not very good at this….”

They give you a hug. You can barely breathe through the tears. They know what you did, this being that cares so much for life, and yet… Hearing them say it, hearing them tell you they care even despite everything...

❍ “...You know, for a lot of people, I’d be kinda upset at the whole ‘locking a major place of change in time’ thing, but I know your trying, and you don’t want to do that. Just like you didn’t want to hurt those on the island… I’m sure you’ll find a way to fix it, and you’ll make good use of the time. I’m rooting for you.”

✦ “I-I!!… thank you…I don’t know if I deserve it though….”

❍ “…. I have a message from my partner. A patron of your home.”

Huh?!!!

They pull back a bit, still holding you, looking you head on with their void of a face. And sing, in the voice of the stars:

Oh dear and precious fallen star

We’ve seen you travel, long and far.

Through trials filled with pain and fear

We know you’ll hold to all that’s dear

So sing your song, o mournful Dove

But know that you have always been Loved.

You… You feel hands. Hugging you. Not the change gods, but ones that feel… familiar… Feel kind. Feel like…

You see tears drip down from the Change Gods hood. Their crying? Why are they crying for you? You killed so many… you don’t deserve it...

❍ “you have always been loved. not as Siffrin, but as you….”

They pull you close again. You can hear them crying now. Your tears mix with theirs as they pool into the space below you.

❍ “Y-Your cloak was made so you could wander the streets... Your tinkers tools so you could make things yourself…. That device in your pocket to show you the world when it wasn’t safe for you to be out... That gun so you could defend yourself even when you didn’t trust yourself up close... Your skill with music was taught because it helped you talk and they wanted to hear your voice… and…. And….”

You can’t… You can’t stop crying…. They… were for you? All along? But…. But…

❍ “And I wish I could have done something!!! You shouldn’t have had to deal with any of this!!! So please, please!!! Don’t forget that!!! Don’t forget that people have loved you always, no matter what!!! …your so young. So young for what you are. You shouldn’t have to suffer like this.”

You… you hug them back. Stars, you need to hug them. You need to hold them close. You wish you could hug these figures you barely remember, tell them your sorry, wish you could remember who they were. Wish you could remember why they cared for you. And… at the very least, you’ll hold close someone. You need to hug SOMEONE. The Change God hugs you tighter.

❍ “...I… Can’t keep you here for much longer. So. Don’t worry, I’ll give you the keyknife as many times as you need it, I’ll wait for you to get out of this, and… I’ll be rooting for you. Okay? Just promise me, you’ll remember what I said?”

You struggle to speak through your tears. You… really were loved…

✦ “…Yeah. I will. T-Thank you…”

You feel them fade away, as the room starts to form.

You put yourself back together as it does. But the tears aren’t stopping. You turn towards Mira. She’s crying a little too.

✿ “HEY!!!!”

▲ “Mira, Sif! Are you both alright?!”

◉ “What… just happened? I can’t… Siffrin?”

You can’t speak. You can’t stop crying.

▲ “SIF?!? Are you okay? Say something!!”

✦ “S̴̯̕orry! I just… I…”

You can’t help but laugh. You… You feel a bittersweet mixture of joy and sorrow. You don’t know how to process it at all.

◉ “I think we experienced something… Incredible? But I can’t remember it anymore.”

You do. You’ll never forget. You take a deep breath, and dry your tears.

◆ “Are you alright now Siffrin?”

✦ “I… Yeah. Come on. We have a king to beat.”

You smile. It’s bittersweet… You want to remember them. So badly now. They loved you, they cared for you. And you can’t even remember a thing about them…

No. One more memory surfaces. They said… they said…

It takes strength to see what you want from the world. Don’t give up on it ever.

You HAVE to find a way to remember them. You can’t let them be forgotten, not a second longer, not when you’ve gotten so close… But… You’ll need help… and there’s only one person who’d try.

It’s time to meet the king.

✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸

...There’s a look in stardust's eye. This loop was doing so good. Their all happy. They deserve that. They’ve been at this for a while, even if they aren’t aware of it. And the change god was very kind to say that. But… Stardust isn’t thinking clearly. They haven't been for a while. The last two they remembered clearer because you fed them proper food, but it’s not easy to get that. And you have this sinking feeling things are going to take a turn for the worse. Very fast.

[rosiegirlie]

Press Your Number: John Egan x OC

word count: 4.8k a/n: I couldn't resist trying my hand at a John Egan story even though I'm nervous about it lol. As will probably be my usual this isn’t as researched / historically accurate as it should be so sorry in advance. I'm really just going off the vibes tbh ! read on AO3

The sun was setting with only the smallest bit still hanging on above the tops of the surrounding trees. It would soon be too dark for Jacqueline to continue working but luckily she’d reached a comfortable stopping point. She climbed down her ladder and stepped away from the plane to look up at her work. Oddly enough Jacqueline felt more proud of her pinup girl on the side of the plane than any of the pieces she’d shown back in Paris. 

Normally Jaqueline painted nature scenes. She hadn’t painted a person since university and had been nervous when Corporal Ken Lemmons told her what they wanted. But she had to admit that she’d done good. The painted blushing blonde looked full of life with her lips red and open in a playful pout. Jacqueline had worried whether or not the outfit was too risqué but she liked how the blue two piece swimming costume stood out against the plane’s sheet metal. It was eye catching. She hoped the men liked it just as much as she did. It still seemed like some sort of joke that she was getting to paint again. When she’d overheard Ken bemoaning having to paint designs on the planes she’d jumped at the opportunity before even introducing herself. She never thought that she’d be able to do this sort of thing when she transferred out to Thorpe Abbotts.

Jacqueline figured she still had a couple minutes of light left and climbed back up on the ladder with her paintbrush and palette in hand. The shading along the cleavage didn’t seem right no matter how many times she touched it up. She ached for proper paint but knew to keep her complaints to herself. She’d find a way to make it work, she always did. 

“Now that’s a view worth writing home about.”

The voice came from behind Jacqueline and in her surprise she jerked forward and had to stretch out her hand to brace herself against the plane to steady herself.

“Take it easy now.” The voice was louder, closer. Whoever the speaker was, he was probably right below Jacqueline. She pushed off from the plane and steadied herself on the ladder. 

“I’m good.” she assured him. After taking a breath she finally looked down. 

The man she didn’t recognize had moved up closer to the plane to get a better look at her work. A quick study of the man had Jacqueline wishing she’d met him in different circumstances when she wasn’t wearing coveralls three sizes too big, hair all tucked up into a sweat stained hat, and hands covered in paint. He was tall with broad shoulders. He was wearing a white sheepskin jacket instead of the ones every one else seemed to prefer. His hair looked thick and Jacqueline’s fingers itched to run themselves through it. She thought she saw a mustache. She needed to get a better look at him. 

“Do you like it then?” She asked, gesturing to the pinup with her head even though he wasn’t looking at her to see the gesture. Jacqueline thrived off of hearing what people thought of her art. She was greedy for any possible crumb of praise.

“She’s beautiful. Modeled off your broad back home?” 

“No, I just dreamed her up.” 

“It’s damn realistic to be something you just dreamed up, you must have practice at this sort of thing.” 

“I don’t have a lot of practice in painting half naked women, no.”

“Could’ve fooled me!” The man stepped away from the plane and Jacqueline finally got a better look at him. 

He was gorgeous. Jacqueline really wished she looked more presentable. She pushed her feelings aside and joked, “It’s the naked women we practice on, not clothed.”

“I knew it! You must be some sort of professional artist.” 

“Oh no, please.” She shook her head. “I hate that idea. If you ask me there’s no such thing as a professional artist.” She knew she should stop there but instead continued, “Art is something you engage with, a conversation with something you tap into. An artist should always be open to continual growth and learning. An artist is a student, not a professional. Or at least if they’re a proper artist they wouldn’t consider themselves a professional.” Jacqueline let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Sorry,” She raised her free hand not holding her paintbrush and palette and scratched at something on her cheek and along her jaw. She shrugged. “You were trying to pay me a compliment, it was rude of me to ramble. Thank you.”

When Jacqueline shifted to look back at the man she immediately met his eyes causing her to blush. His eyes were wide and after a brief moment of intense eye contact left her face to trace down her body. She felt his gaze as it went down to her hands in her lap. She burned as he worked his way back up to her face. It had been a while since a man had studied her like this and she hoped it turned into something as foolish as she knew it was to want. It was like his energy had changed completely and she didn’t know why. But she didn’t mind. 

He smirked up at her, causing Jacqueline’s heart to skip a beat, and said, “It wasn’t rude no. Trust me, I love a good ol’ fashioned ramble.” He shook his head and put his hands on his hips. “I’m just realizing I was seriously misled on some key details.” 

Jacqueline did nothing but stare at him, confused. He continued before she could figure out a response. “They said your name was Jack. I didn’t realize that was a nickname.”

Instinctively she tisked, “I told them to stop calling me that, it makes me sound like a boy. I hate nicknames.” 

“If it’s not Jack then what’s your name?” He prodded. 

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” She challenged with a smile. 

“You can call me Bucky.” “Your mother named you Bucky?”

“My mother named me John but—”

“Lovely to meet you, John.” She stuck her free hand out and smiled wider when he took it in his own. “I’m Jacqueline.”

____ 

The officer’s club was full of laughter and music and men working off the restless energy that came with surviving another day. Normally Bucky would be right there with them, right in the thick of it. But he’d flown his first mission that day. He’d gone up and it hadn’t been anything like he thought. He couldn’t even remember what he thought it would be like. Bucky studied the glass in his hands. His hands had done terrible things that day, his hands were nothing like her’s. Nothing like Jacqueline. 

For some reason Bucky hadn’t been able to get her out of his head. He’d never felt like this before, focused so much in on one woman. But he kept thinking about how delicate her paint stained hands looked and the way her scratching at a wayward piece of hair on her face made him realize that she was a woman and not a man like he’d been expecting. Bucky felt ridiculous for being so worked up over a broad’s hands but here he was, a mess. It had only been a couple of days but his thoughts kept coming back to the woman he hadn’t been able to find since meeting on the hardstand. The endless meetings with Colonel Huglin and various other staff hadn’t given him the free time he wanted to search for Jacqueline but at least that afternoon he’d worked out that she wasn’t a mechanic. His mistake had been assuming that her getup had been her uniform. Now he was back to square one. 

A loud cackle broke through over the general noise of the crowd and Bucky couldn’t help but look for the source. There was a group of women by the corner of the dance floor and they looked like they were trying to contain one of them. Bucky watched and took in the view as they joked amongst themselves. The redhead, whose back had been to him, stepped out of the way and Bucky got a better look at the rest of the women in the group. Immediately his eyes jumped to the woman closest to the dance floor, the one with one hand on her hip while the other fanned at her face. She was wearing a rich blue dress that complimented her chestnut hair falling loosely around her face. He’d always liked the color blue but now he knew it was his favorite. She wasn’t wearing red lipstick like the rest of them but Bucky didn’t mind. She seemed to be entertaining her friends and making them laugh; he could tell from all the way across the room that she’d be the life of the party by his side. She was beautiful and Bucky needed to talk to her, needed to dance with her. Anything at all. He was a man starved.

But before he could make a move Lieutenant McDaniel was by his side and Bucky knew he was trapped. By the time he managed to get away from the conversation he’d lost her. Bucky kept his eyes peeled as the night went on, always looking over his shoulder. He’d catch glimpses but then she’d be gone before he could reach her. He couldn’t focus. He blamed his poor darts performance on the booze and joked that he’d come back around once he cleared his head. He wandered back over to the bar defeated. First he’d lost Jacquline and now he’d lost this mystery woman. If any of his guys found out he’d let them slip through his fingers they wouldn’t let him hear the end of it. Bucky’s reputation would never recover. He needed to pull himself together. He downed the last of his drink in one go and asked for another. As he waited for his drink he turned to lean against the bar top and look out over the room. His heart skipped a beat. 

There she was in the middle of a group of women settling down around a table across the hall. She sat down in the seat against the wall, the only one facing him directly. A wave of desire rushed over him, an overwhelming sense of longing that had Bucky feeling like a kid with his first crush. 

“Major.”

Bucky turned around and accepted the drink the bartender was offering him. “Thanks.” He lifted the glass in a cheers motion then turned back around with his eyes immediately going back to the woman. 

Something one of the girls said made her throw her head back in laughter again and Bucky instantly felt himself smiling along with her. The woman was a vision; Bucky wanted to have his way with her. She grabbed her hair all in one hand and pulled it up and away from her face. She fanned herself with the other, still laughing with her friends. When she pulled her hair back the woman had exposed the side of her face and neck so Bucky could now take in her full profile. He almost dropped his drink when he realized he knew that jawline. It was Jacqueline. He’d been eyeing Jacqueline all night and didn’t even realize. He could practically hear Buck in his ear teasing him for being such a fool. 

Without thinking Bucky set his drink on the bar and headed straight for Jacqueline. One of her friends, the redhead, saw him first and elbowed Jacqueline in the side to get her attention. John felt something settle in him when she met his eyes; it felt so right to have her looking at him. He’d always loved attention but never had it hit so right than now. 

“Jacqueline.”

“John.”

He reached out a hand. “Dance with me, doll?” 

“Doll?” she cocked an eyebrow at the endearment but before Bucky could worry about being turned down she was pushing her chair out from the table and standing up. “I can’t promise I’m a good dance partner. I’ll probably step on your toes.”

“A worthy sacrifice to have you in my arms.” He pulled her onto the dance floor and twirled her around, smiling when she giggled as she spun. 

“Smooth talker, are you?” Jaqueline said as she settled into his arms and followed his lead as they started to dance. 

“I’m whatever I need to be when the situation calls.” he boasted.

Jacqueline laughed. “Spoken like a real American.” 

Bucky looked down at her confused but defensive. “What’s wrong with speaking like an American?”

“Nothing at all! Just that you lot tend to act before thinking and seem to think you can handle everything on your own.” 

Bucky was quick to heat with anger but took a second to consider what she’d said. “Where are you from, then? Because your accent sounds an awful lot like mine.” 

“Alright, you got me.” Jacqueline winked at Bucky like she was letting him on a secret. “I’m a Yank like you.” 

“Do you not consider yourself American?” He watched Jacqueline chew on her lip while thinking how to answer. Now that he had her up close Bucky was grateful Jacqueline had forgone the red lipstick for something closer to her natural lip color. He was having a hard enough time keeping his cool as it was. if her full lips were fully painted up Bucky wasn’t sure he had the self control to stay respectable.

“I spent most of my life over here.” She finally answered. “I can’t even remember the last time I was in the States.” she took another moment to think. “It was probably when my mother passed. No, it can’t have been that long, I had to have been back since then. But maybe… no. Hmm… Wow.” she blushed, probably embarrassed at her rambling, and shook her head. “I guess I haven’t been back in nine years? Almost ten.” 

“That’s a long time to be away from home.” 

“Not if it never felt like home to begin with.” Jacqueline said with an unbothered shrug. 

“I can’t wait to figure you out.” Bucky said without thinking first. He quickly turned to look away from Jacqueline to hide his face in case he really was blushing like he felt. 

“It’s still early days.” Jacqueline mused. “We’ve got time.” 

The song ended and the pair separated to join in the applause for the band. A slower song started up and Bucky was quick to pull Jacqueline back against him before she could escape. She didn’t resist him and settled into his arms, leaning her head on his chest. The thing that had settled into him before dug itself deeper. He hadn’t felt like this since his first days learning to fly. 

They danced without talking for a while until Bucky leaned down close to Jacqueline’s ear and whispered, “I looked for you, you know.” 

“You looked for me?” she pulled slightly away stared at him with a look of bewilderment. “What do you mean? Why?” 

“Because I wanted to see you.” he said honestly. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” 

Jacqueline mouth dropped open in surprise. She seemed to be lost for words and Bucky loved that. He loved throwing people off their game. He stared at her mouth and took note of the slight smudge of pale lipstick on the corner of her mouth. He wanted to kiss it. He cleared his throat and pushed down his instincts that were begging him to wrap Jacqueline fully in his arms and give into all temptation. He was going to take a page from Buck’s book and be a gentleman about this. 

_____

Jacqueline was already at the bar when the Major came through the doors. A couple of cheers went up at his entrance and she couldn’t help but smile into her drink at the reaction. She loved the theatrics. But she’d done her research and she couldn’t believe she’d been so informal around someone with such a high rank. It didn’t make her want him any less, but it did intensify her nerves. Rank implied status and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to get back into the world of status. She watched as he wove his way through the crowd. He didn’t stop talking for a second. Jacqueline wasn’t sure why she was so endeared by his working the room. 

The couple next to her left the bar leaving more than enough room for him to come up next to her. Jacqueline set her glass down on the bar and tried to straighten herself up. She didn’t know what she was going to say to him. Should she wait for him to say something first? She was awful at intentional flirting. Jacqueline glanced over her shoulder and then whipped her head back around. He was almost at the bar and Jacqueline knew he was going to come up next to her. This was it. 

But then he didn’t recognize her. Didn’t even spare her a glance. Jacqueline wanted to laugh she was so mortified but held it in. Based off of the rumors she really thought he’d at least look at her even if he didn’t start flirting. She took a deep drink of her gin and tonic as she listened to the Major order a pint and make small talk with the airman on his other side. Her body felt like it was on fire she was so hyperaware of her surroundings. She felt beyond silly for getting her hopes up that he would want to talk to her again. It had been such a brief thing; they’d barely talked. It didn’t matter how nicely she tried to put herself together, it didn’t matter how long she’d spent on her hair and makeup. Her first impression had come and gone. She’d lost her chance to blow the Major away.

“Another round? Gin and tonic, right?” The bartender asked as she finished off her drink. 

“Please. Thank you.” She said with a smile but barely met the bartender’s eyes. As soon as she had her new cocktail she slipped away from the bar and into the crowd. 

Her original plan of doing something — admittedly she hadn’t gotten far enough along to actually plan anything, she’d been counting on John to do most of the doing — was useless now so she figured to hell with it. She was going to enjoy her night with her girls. Her closest friends and coworkers, Ginny and Elizabeth, cheered when she returned to them. Jacqueline thanked her past self for not telling them about meeting the Major. She knew they would tease and end up repeating the stories that had started spreading through the base. It didn’t do her any good to think about all of the women John had slept with. Maybe it was for the best that Jacqueline was forgettable. She needed to keep thinking about him as the Major, not as John. He was just a nice man she’d met and that was that. 

An hour later and her friends were all sitting around a table, laughing at Ginny’s imitation of their old supervisor. Jacqueline pulled all of her hair back from her face, twisted it around in her hand and held it up at the back of her head. With her other hand she fanned at her face. She’d worked up a sweat dancing and her hand was doing nothing to help her cool down. Jacqueline had just made up her mind to go out and grab some air since she was so hot, maybe she’d even turn in for the night, when Elizabeth elbowed Jaqueline in the side. 

“What was—” Jacqueline’s voice broke off when she followed Elizabeth’s line of site and saw the Major walking towards them. He was looking right at her and when she met his eyes he grinned. The other girls at their table turned to see what Jacqueline and Elizabeth were staring at and the conversation had died by the time John reached their table. 

“Jacqueline.” 

She felt butterflies when he said her name. 

“John.” She replied with a smile. Then she’d taken his offered hand and followed him out to dance floor. 

She’d spent the rest of the night wrapped up in John’s orbit. Even when they weren’t dancing John had kept her close, a warm presence that Jaqueline didn’t mind despite hating the heat. Normally Jacqueline was only good at being lively and social at the beginning of the night, more often than not she would slip out early to sooth her introverted nature begging to be alone. But somehow she loved being constantly surrounded with John by her side. It was easy to maintain a smile and keep up with the jokes being thrown around with the weight of John’s arm around her waist. 

Time seemed to pass in the blink of an eye and too soon John was walking her back to her hut, the perfect gentleman despite the rumors. Jaqueline wondered if this was what flying felt like; oddly enough she felt weightless with her arm wrapped around John’s. 

“When can I see you again?” John asked when they were almost at her hut. 

“It’s a small base, I’m sure we’ll run into each other.” she said coyly. Jacqueline didn’t have a lot of experience with men but she knew with men like John she had to hold her ground. “I’m sure you could find me if you really wanted.”

“Is that a challenge?” He sounded excited, like Jacqueline had given him some sort of gift. 

“You think you can manage finding me?” 

“I’ll manage it all for you, whatever you ask.” 

John’s words were what Jacqueline had always wanted to hear from a man but she knew to be wary. “You should be careful saying things like that to a girl. She might get her hopes up.” 

“And if I want her to?”

That took Jacqueline by surprise. She spluttered, “Then you should show her you care. Talk is useless if it’s just that.” 

“Good thing I’m a man who acts.” And with that John twisted Jacqueline towards him. His hand went right to the side of her face and he cradled her jaw as he pulled her in for a kiss. 

Jacqueline didn’t even pretend to be respectable. As soon as John’s lips were on her’s she was desperate for more. She pulled her arm out from being trapped between them and wrapped it around John’s back to bring him closer. It was clear he hadn’t expected Jacqueline to escalate the kiss but he was quick to match her energy. He moved his hand into the thick of her hair and Jacqueline couldn’t hold back her moan when he tugged at it to bring her closer to him. 

Her moan seemed to snap John out of it and he ripped himself away from Jacqueline, breathing hard. He took a couple of steps back leaving Jacqueline standing there looking like some strung out floozy with slick lips and wide eyes. She figured she should be embarrassed by how scandalous she was sure to look but she couldn’t seem to care when John seemed to be just as out of sorts. They looked at each other in silence, their heavy breathing the only noise between them. And then they both started to laugh loudly into the night. John came back to Jacqueline’s side.

“I’ll come find you.” He promised with a kiss to the top of her head. Another to her forehead. 

“I’m looking forward to it, Major.” She gave him a wave before entering her hut. She waited a minute until she let out a giggle and danced around the empty hut like the teenage girl she was feeling like. 

Jacqueline spent the next day on edge waiting for John to pop up at any moment. She meant what she said: Thorpe Abbotts wasn’t a big base. There were only so many places one could hide and she wasn’t even trying to hide. But to her dismay John never showed. She felt like such a fool for getting her hopes up. Her mood the following day went from bad to worse when the forts started rolling in after the mission. Lieutenant McDaniel’s fort, the one John was flying on, hadn’t come back. John was gone.

That afternoon Jacqueline was lost in thought staring out the minuscule window. The forest around the base reminded her of the years spent in Switzerland even though the two looked nothing alike. She had been such a child back then; the world had been so big back when she was young and now Jacqueline felt so small standing in the corner of the switchboard room. She felt so naive for losing herself over a flyboy so quickly, especially one she barely knew. Her cousin had joked that Jaqueline would find herself a pilot and finally have one of those romances that inspired great art. Even her aunt had commented on the possibility of her work leading to producing something she never thought possible. But just because the first world war and her various lovers had inspired her aunt to write didn’t mean Jacqueline was the same. Jacqueline was nauseous thinking about using her heartbreak as inspiration. Maybe this was why she couldn’t consider herself a proper artist.

The sound of her coworkers arguing pulled Jacqueline from her thoughts. It was no surprise they were talking about her. Nor was it a surprise they would do so openly in front of her without care. After all the time they’d spent together the three of them didn’t hold anything back. 

“At least she got out quick.”

“Bloody hell, Ginny. That’s awful to say.” Elizabeth dropped her nail file on the ground as she looked up scandalized.

“I’m just saying!” Ginny defended herself. “You can’t tell me that the heartache would be the same if they’d been together for ages. She’s better off this way!”

Elizabeth bent down to reach under her chair. She picked up her nail file and pointed it accusingly at Ginny. “But you don’t need to say that!”

“It’s important to see the bright side!” 

“It’s also important to have more than a couple of hours to process losing someone. You of all people should know better.” Elizabeth chastised. 

Ginny’s face went red with a mix of embarrassment and anger. “I was just trying to help.” She pouted, bitter that Elizabeth had poked at her sore spot.  “It’s okay, Ginny.” Jacqueline stepped away from the window and turned back around to face her friends. She gave them a weak smile in an effort to assure them but she could tell from their faces it didn’t work. 

Their office was small, enough room to maneuver around their chairs but not much beyond that. It felt as cramped as their switchboards looked. But luckily the girls knew how to make the space work, having worked together for almost two and a half years. When Jacqueline had been approached to transfer to Thorpe Abbotts until the Americans could get their crew up and running she said she’d only go if she could pick who would work underneath her. Ginny and Elizabeth hadn’t let her down and Jacqueline was beyond grateful she didn’t have to navigate this new world alone. 

She plopped down into her chair and let out a deep sigh. “You’re both right, I suppose.” 

“How’re you doing?” Elizabeth asked gently. 

Jacqueline shrugged. “As expected.” 

“I’m assuming you don’t want to get a drink with us then, after we get off?” 

“No one’s getting off anymore.” 

“Ginny!” Elizabeth, as always, was scandalized by Ginny’s comment but Jacqueline was laughing despite herself. 

“I didn’t even get off to begin with.” She confessed after she stopped giggling. 

“All that and you didn’t—”

“When would I have had the time to shag him?” Jacqueline asked with a tired sigh. “You know I haven’t seen him since.” 

Ginny was quiet for a moment but then said, “At least you snogged.” 

Jaqueline’s heart hurt as she thought about how John had looked at her when he pulled away from their kiss after he walked her back to her hut. “At least there’s that.” she sighed again. 

An alarm rang out and the girls sprung to attention. 

“I got it.” Jacqueline motioned for the other two to settle back into their chairs while she put on her headset. She connected the right wire then said, “Good afternoon, this is RAF Thorpe Abbotts. How may I direct your call?” 

____ 

He thought it was a dream at first, that made he’d hit his head at some point during the mission and was losing it. But his gut told him he recognized the voice of the operator who answered his call. He cleared his throat. 

“This is Major Egan. We’re out at—”

“John!” the voice was breathless and desperate just like he’d been dreaming. Straight out of his fantasizes and into reality. “Major, are you there?” 

Bucky cleared his throat again and said with a laugh, “Does it count as finding you if I don’t see you?” 

A loud laugh came through the phone and Bucky felt human again. 

[runawaymun]

WIP Wednesday!

I was tagged last wednesday by @that-angry-noldo to share a snippet of what I am working on :D I LOVE this game yay!!

Here is a snippet from Beneath a Boundless Sky:

Still, even though Thalionel preferred Arwen’s company, he had to admit the mornings when Lord Elrond took him out for a ride were the best, because often they went out onto the hiking trails around the city, and there was always something interesting to look at, or to ask about, or to find. That was how he had discovered this chunk of rock. He hadn’t known what it was at first. He’d just caught the glint of the sun on its glossy surface. There was an entire trail of it down the side of the mountain. He had hopped down from Trastadweg and gone to look at it more closely, and that was when Lord Elrond had warned him to be careful, because obsidian, as he had called it, was sharp.  “The mountain made it,” Lord Elrond had said as he slipped off of his own horse to join him at the flow. “Just like it makes the hot pools.”  Thalionel had only vaguely listened as he’d explained something about melted rock and rapid temperature changes. Mostly, he’d stayed focused on the chunk of rock he’d picked up from the pile. It was as big as his fist. Rough on one side, and glassy on the other where the rock had broken in one, clean cut.  It had been a trick to get it into his pocket without Lord Elrond noticing. Thalionel wasn’t sure if he’d succeeded. He just hoped that Lord Elrond didn’t suspect what he meant to do with it.

To be honest though upon editing it's likely this will change slightly!! I am thinking about writing it out into a full present scene, rather than keeping it as a past-tense memory. I think it will suit it better and we need more Elrond and Thal time anyway!

And here is a snippet from To Partake (it was hard to pick something for this actually because so much of this chapter feels a little spoilery to share, but I do like the writing in this section a lot):

Elrond writes Erestor another note to let him know where he has gone, and when he estimates he will return, slips it under his door, and then starts down the winding staircase of the tower. His footsteps echo in the cool silence of the early morning. As he passes people, each gives him a wide berth, avoiding his gaze as if to ward off any possibility of interaction. It’s nothing particularly new, but it is a little different than the stares he’d gotten upon his arrival. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he wonders if word about his summons to Gil-Galad’s solar —and Gil-Galad’s black mood— had traveled around the court.  It had probably been the fault of the guards. Heniriel is not a gossip, or else she would not hold such a high position.  He keeps his head low as he heads out beneath the stars to the far end of the citadel. The closer he gets to the kitchens, the more the air begins to smell like fresh bread. It makes his stomach rumble. The kitchens are a set of buildings attached to the northern side of the castle, close to the king’s quarters, the banquet hall, and the ambassadorial suites. Elrond elects to pass through a courtyard full of babbling fountains, since it looks empty enough. He follows the cobblestone footpath to a tall rock wall with a door in it which opens out onto the kitchen gardens, where carefully tended beds of herbs and vegetables lay slumbering beneath the starlight. Beyond are the King’s orchards. Elrond loves to spend time there. He will have to find a moment soon to slip away and say hello to his favorite apple tree. For now, he takes the path as it curves to the left, heading toward the kitchen proper, and more importantly: the bakery, where the citadel’s baker is likely to be starting on the day’s bread.

no pressure tags for: @the-commonplace-book @creativity-of-death @raointean @valasania-the-pale @niennawept @jaz-the-bard & anyone else who wants to play!!! I want to read what you're working on :D

[siarven]

QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

It's been ages since I got tagged in sth like this?? Thank you very much @zbdragons :DD (Also I want to see your dragon arts??) (also sorry I forgot this in my drafts for a hot second dklldk)

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

I don't think so? My parents chose my birth name bc they liked the sound. My chosen name chose me lmao. I want to keep the masc version of my birth name around as second name, but I think it's less bc it's related to my old name and more bc I like the sound of it, and it makes Mama happy :>

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Not sure! It was probably at a fictional story? ive managed to fix my mental health enough to no longer have regular crises :') <3

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

nope, don't ever want any either

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

started out with gymnastics when i was ~6 (probably bc baby me started climbing street lights bc our trees were too smol xD), then switched to tennis due to external circumstances and stuck with it until I moved for uni. Here the distances are all much bigger so going everywhere by bike was enough daily sports (30-40km/day), but then the pandemic happened. Now i have dumbbells and a yoga mat in my room and do stretches and (body)weight things most days bc all my 'things why i need to leave the house' are 25+km away. i am ok with going 20km one way but not more than that xD

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

sometimes! depends on the people. i did it sooo much around my brother when i still lived at home, but these days i think it's gotten pretty rare

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

vibes, i think? Are You Potentially Friend Shaped? :333

WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

hazel/somewhere between green and brown depending on the light

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

happy endings... i like scary things, but i dislike most horror films. they have the wrong horror vibes xD

ANY TALENTS?

i am good at learning music by ear + play flute and piccolo very well (this is prob bc Mama taught me how to learn music at a young age). It's so nice to have One Thing I am not self conscious about, esp bc it isn't tied to money or anything. These days it comes fairly effortless and I love playing and learning new pieces, and bc my orchestra appreciates me I get to play piccolo + solo parts too. I also used to be very good at singing but i am on hrt now and idk how that's gonna develop xD

I also write stuff and draw things and I do the drawing thing professionally/plan on doing so, at least (rn it's just small things on the side and wouldn't pay the bills). But neither feels like a talent bc everyone I started out with was better at it than me when we were kids. They just stopped doing it. Idk. Success through persistence and spite... both my art and writing feel extremely average (derogatory) most of the time, but I guess we will see if i manage to succeed anyway dklldkd

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Hannover (Germany); moved away for uni

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

flute/piccolo in my orchestra; going for walks with my camera; wildlife photography; hiking; learning about nature and the names of animals and plants + trivia; writing/reading fantasy books; watercolour painting; reading and watching good stories of any genre tbh; reading/watching nonfiction things on nature/history/paleontology/humanity. Wanna learn ALL

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

no :( but my flatmate has a snake! his name is momo and i love him!

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

173cm

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

history (bc of the teacher); english (the years my teacher was good); art (surpriseee /j)

DREAM JOB?

concept artist for stories with heavy (fantasy) worldbuilding; illustrator (I do that already as a freelancer but it would not pay the bills). Also I would love love love to be a published author but in my head the art and writing side of things are kinda deeply related, so both pls

tagging @ettawritesnstudies @corishadowfang @lady-redshield-writes @raiswanson @kittensartswriting @monika-in-wonderland @tundra-tiger @unfocused-overwriter @big-urchin-energy @antignocchiphase @mando-ah-damn if any of you want to (no pressure), and also anyone else who wants to, I don't remember anymore who is doing tag games xD

[sheriffgrimes-archerdixon]

He had it comin’

They hurt you I hurt them part 2

Trigger warnings: rape word, mention of SA, gore, revenge, dark themes, usual twd stuff. If you’re sensitive to any of these then please read at your own discretion. Thank you.

“Did you kill him?”

That was the first thing you could even say, it had been a month or so since what had happened… you weren’t fully healed but you were much better. It was more the mental and emotional trauma more than anything but you were strong. Daryl was covered in blood his knuckles painted in the crimson liquid his breathing heavy, the hair that always hovered just over his eyes was drenched in a mixture of sweat and blood his eyes a fierce angry blue. “Nah,” his words were rough as he shook his head visibly affected by it all. He since the incident had been protective over you, incredibly protective but you couldn’t blame him. You remained quiet waiting for him to say something else, “I sent him to hell” you struggled to find your own words as he spoke a slight gulp coming from you. He had murdered a man because of you? “He deserved it. He had it comin’ y/n. He hurt you” he spat out anger evident in his tone but you shook your head “no-“ “yes y/n! The man raped you! He deserved every fucking thing that I put him through.” He exclaimed throwing his arms up in the air “and don’t you dare say he didn’t deserve it because he did, he fucked you up emotionally, mentally and physically! He ruined you! He hurt you once… that meant he would do it again… that’s why I killed him. Because he hurt you… but also because I know if he was able to have time with you again he would do much worse than what he did before.” He spoke firmly, his chest rising and falling rather quickly eyes full of troubled thoughts and feelings as he began to pace back and forth, usually you and Daryl were good at communicating but ever since you had been hurt he had been really difficult to talk to, he had been difficult all together. He kept things from you so you wouldn’t get hurt on a mission with him… even if he meant good by it to try and protect you it still hurt, as if he thought you were weak or something.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered his pacing soon stopping as he ran a hand over his face shaking his head “you’ve got nothing to be sorry for… I’m sorry for getting so angry about this.” He murmured his blood still boiling. His next target were the whisperers and alpha. Maybe he would have to get Negan’s help for that bitch. Daryl lost slept over you being hurt, he couldn’t sleep… imagining everything you went through… the pain… the fear… gods did it keep him up at night. It practically tortured him. It held him in a merciless chokehold until it was the only and last thing he could think about. It was traumatising. Even his own trauma wasn’t as bad as this… with his own trauma he could keep it down where he forgot about it but knowing you got hurt really messed with his head. “How did you kill him?” Your words struck something within him and he paused looking at you “that don’t matter,” he grunted out and you raised your brows “of course it matters!” You said wanting to know but he shook you off “I need a shower… just rest alright?” He mumbled “but you never take a shower…. You…” you soon fall silent as you sigh knowing you wouldn’t get it out of him. He was one stubborn man and as annoying as it was you knew he had a good reason to keep it from you…

~the revenge~

It didn’t take long for him to find the man who hurt you… he was tall. Much bigger than Daryl. Almost like Beta but slightly shorter. Probably about 6’10 so not much taller than Daryl but still tall enough to overpower someone. Daryl wasn’t going to have any mercy. Not now not ever. What this prick had coming for him was well deserved. He soon pursed his lips as he whistled loudly the tall man turning in the direction where Daryl was, hidden just behind a tree- the dark woods aided him by hiding him well… he aligned his crossbow before firing watching as the arrow whistled through the air before piercing straight through the man’s knee, rendering him to his knees as an agonised cry left his lips. How funny… he went down just like that. As Daryl came out of the shadows the man became more and more angry or well maybe scared he wasn’t quite sure. “Who the hell are you man?” He asked but Daryl didn’t respond grabbing a hold of the man’s hair yanking him backwards as he felt onto the floor “your worst nightmare” he found himself saying angrily as he pointed the crossbow directly at his face “you fuckin’ move and I will make this longer.” he warned his blue eyes shining with pure rage his finger teasing the trigger of his crossbow awaiting to fire if the man tried anything but when he didn’t Daryl shook his head taking a step back loosely swinging his crossbow over his shoulder before he crouched down so he could be at eye level with the man, not saying a word his eyes saying enough. It was pure silence. The only sound being the slight comfort of the howling wind but the archer saw that as mother natures way of telling him to murder this man and so without another word Daryl reached out wrapping his hand around the arrow in the man’s knee, it was piercing out through the back of his knee proving it had gone through and through- through the socket and everything…

“Why the hell did you do it.” He spat out and the man stared silently “do what.” He had the audacity to say, not even ask, the amusement in his eyes only adding insult to injury. “Why did you rape her” he asked his jaw clenched, the man chuckling “I didn’t touch her. I’m not that type of man.” Not that type of man huh what a fucking prick. Daryl’s anger only became fuelled more and more as he tightened his grip on the arrow “I’m gonna give you one last fuckin’ chance. You tell me why the hell you hurt her and I will spare your dumbass” he seethed out, the man only finding amusement out of it “and I’m gonna give you one more chance to hear that I didn’t touch her how many-“ he spoke but Daryl didn’t let him finish his sentence off as he was quick to rip the arrow out of his knee the sound of bone and cartilage snapping rang through his ears the man’s screams piercing through his ears as well, he remained deathly silent watching as blood spurted out of his knee “you fucking crazy bastard! I didn’t fucking touch her!” He yelled out, daryl quickly standing up his foot coming in contact with the man’s face kicking him back down twisted groans of agony filling the air as the man writhed in pain “yes you did. Don’t lie.” He muttered already having enough of his bullshit but he knew he would need a little more persuading seemingly and so Daryl dug the arrow into the ground for later use before wrapping his hand around the man’s throat yanking him up his free hand beginning to land constant punches… over and over and over… watching as his face went from a pale colour to an almost terrifyingly red colour, his face now the colour of a tomato practically… his nose was pouring with blood, his teeth covered in the crimson liquid too… “gonna admit it now?” He asked but when the man remained silent Daryl chuckled “fine.”

He knew it was inhumane but what the man did to y/n was even more inhumane. But this was justifiable. The man’s actions prior to Daryl’s revenge most definitely wasn’t justified. It was simply pure evil. He knelt down beside him again unsheathing his knife as he forcefully lifted the man’s already wounded knee up as his screams rang throughout the forest “yeah keep screaming, the dead will finish you faster than I will.” He said coldly before he without even warning stabbed the knife in and out… over and over… of the man’s knee. Constantly. Until his entire leg was covered in blood, the man’s screaming turning into weak begs

“Okay okay I’m sorry… i- I did… I just… i just hadn’t seen a woman in a while.”

His words fucked with Daryl the wrong way, rubbing him off the wrong way completely and his rage had began to get uncontrollable “I know that ain’t the truth, but you ain’t worth my time or breath.” He said before hovering just over the man as he pulled the arrow out of the mud, the tip of the arrow covered in mud before Daryl grasped a hold of the man’s chin keeping him still “I hope you stay alive for hours… you better hope god does exist.” He whispered to the man before bringing the arrow down the arrow piercing through his eye and penetrating straight into his brain, his heavy breathing stilling, his body going limp and Daryl stood up wiping off his knife on his trousers before he without even much of a reaction walked away, acting as if he had done nothing but he didn’t care. The man had gotten exactly what he deserved… no love… no mercy… no care… simply cold hearted painful death.

-

The days passed by, one by one- but each and every one of those days Daryl was scavenging the woods looking for the whisperers or mainly alpha and so once he found them all he was quick to kill each and every one of them, not on his own of course- he had the help of everyone else, making sure you stayed home safe and sound but seeing alpha laying there dead, head decapitated from her body, it felt good. So fucking good knowing the big bad wolf so to speak was finally defeated… finally. And Daryl didn’t just want them dead because he wanted to get justice for you, no- he wanted them all dead because then you would be more likely to not be hurt again by bastards like them.

-

“So they’re all dead?” Your voice was quiet your head resting upon Daryl’s chest as he held you in his embrace, dog laying on the foot of the bed. Daryl nodded his head “yeah.” He murmured and you let out a soft sigh as you looked up to him “thank you.” Your voice was soft and gentle before you pressed a kiss to his cheek in a way to thank him further, a pink flush forming on his cheeks and you smiled lightly. “You ever gonna tell me how you killed him?” You asked and Daryl glanced down at you “shoved an arrow through his eye” he said and you winced your stomach churning “want to hear more?” He asked amusement in his tone but you quickly shook your head “no… I’m pretty aware of the fact an arrow through the eye cannot cause that much blood so I’ll stay curious for this one..” you murmured making a light chuckle leave his lips “mhm… details ain’t necessary… just gotta be glad he never gonna touch you again.” He murmured and you nodded very relieved about it. All you had to know was the fact that he had it comin’ he deserved everything that he endured.

[firey-passion]

Deal Making (Part/Chapter 1)

Shigaraki ran through the woods as fast as he could, each muscle that goes into such a thing pounding away with pain scattering across his body. He was so damn careful, he was sure that he wouldn't get caught at the supply run for some food with sustenance but things just had to go down hill! First there were three different hero groups patrolling the area, then he found that one of them had the current number one hero, and finally he got spotted by said number one hero and chased into the woods. Good news was that it was pretty easy to spot where he was due to the fire and he was clearly gaining some space between the two. Apparently being a six foot tall giant did not give way for being partially nimble, which was what was needed more in the woods. Once far enough away Shigaraki ducked behind a tree to hide, doing his best to slow his breath down to not give his position away. Endeavor eventually caught up but wasn't able to see him. 

“Where the hell did he go?!” He nearly shouted, fire burning brighter than it was before in his rage. 

“Relax Endeavor, it's not like he could get that far away.” Hawks pointed out. 

Shigaraki was mentally glad that he tried to fly through the woods instead of running since his wingspan slowed him down a bit, he was also glad that Mirko stayed behind to see if there were any other villains around. There likely wasn't but if they were they weren't a part of the LOV so it didn't matter to him. He finally took in his surroundings a bit more and noticed something a bit odd. In front of him was a black book with a red triangle man on it. 

Shigaraki reached out and picked up the book and looked more clearly at it. It wasn't really anything of note, other than the fact that it appeared to just have been abandoned in the woods. He sat there waiting for about half an hour before Endeavor and Hawks decided that Shigaraki had double backed and was back at the store so they ran back. He waited another few minutes before leaving his hiding place and taking a different route to get back to the League's hideout, deciding to bring the book with him. It may not be very useful exactly but it would be interesting at the very least. At least this run wasn't a total bust, he got enough supplies to last them for a few days and he got an interesting book. 

When he got back to the league he set the supplies that he was able to get his hands on at the table that they got their hands on from someone throwing it out. The table had stains, scratches, and a leg that had been broken (they used a few bricks to keep the table up). Shigaraki went back to staring at the book a bit trying to figure out why someone would try and get rid of it. 

“Hey Shigs! Glad you're back, whatcha got?” Toga asked, coming into the room and taking a seat on the plush chair they'd gotten alongside the table. It had a few holes and tears in it, with it also missing a leg that they worked through with a random book none of them read. 

“I got some canned food and microwavables, plus some fruits and vegetables we'll have to eat quickly to make sure they don't go bad. I unfortunately wasn't able to get my hands on much, got chased by the number one hero and his buddy.” Shigaraki explained, not looking up from his examination. 

“A-huh, and what's up with the book?” Dabi asked, leaning over his shoulder and looking at the odd book. 

“Unsure, I found it in the woods. It looked like it was just abandoned there.” Shigaraki explained, nudging Dabi away from him. 

“Oooooo, mysterious!” Toga exclaimed with a giggle, seeming to be rather excited about the potential from the strange book. 

Dabi let out a laugh and backed up a bit, “Pretty weird that you decided to grab a random book you found, for all you know it was there for a reason.”

“Yeah, and a good chunk of our furniture was probably thrown away for a reason and yet we're still using it.” Shigaraki replied with an eye roll. 

Dabi let out another laugh and he jumped onto the couch and started lounging, which was another item they grabbed on trash day. It was absolutely covered in stains and holes that had fluff sticking out of it. Shigaraki couldn't help but think about how he was proving his point. 

“Are you sure it was a good idea to take the book though? I mean, you got no context on why it was left in the woods instead of just thrown away.” Spinner pointed out, feeling a bit nervous about the risk that was potentially brought into the hideout. 

“Oh don't be such a worry wart Spinner! I'm sure that it'll be fine, it's not like he answered the question of some lady with a face mask on!” Toga said with a giggle. 

“If you say so…” Spinner said awkwardly, clearly not fully believing it. 

Shigaraki decided to head into his ‘room’ with the book in order to take a close look, he'd rather not be annoyed by the league while trying to understand things. His room was less of an actual room and more like a box. He had a bed in the corner that was absolutely covered in stains from being thrown out and was worn-out through years of use from the previous owners, a desk that was a patchwork of different types of wood that he used to keep his electrics (laptop and Nintendo devices), and a pin board on the wall that he used to keep all the information he found important in order. He had two piles of clothes off to the side of his room, one full of clothes he needed to get clean and the other were good to be worn for longer. He took off his jacket and tossed it into his “can still be worn” pile and toed off his shoes and socks, he took a seat on his bed and opened the book to see what was in its pages. 

He got hit with the ramblings from someone named “Stanford Pines”, he went on about how he believed some guy named “Bill” was dead, how he had checked his brothers mind and some statue to see if he could possibly come back, how he had gotten rid of all momentums of him (including all one dollar bills), how he he had found this book and tried to get rid of it but it kept coming back, how the book had some odd properties (such as changing itself based off the reader), and pleading to not read the book and to not trust it's contents. Shigaraki thought for a moment, if this was true then this could be a rather big risk with unknown reward. He decided to continue on just to see what would happen, finding a page about ‘summoning Bill Cipher’. He thought a little bit more about what he should do before going for it; he opted not to put his name in the book though. He put his hand on the right page, took a deep breath, and said “time to get weird”, and turned the page. 

He didn't know what he expected, but what he found was definitely odd. The words weren't coming into view properly, some sentences started and ended abruptly, everything seemed to be trying to put itself together in a way that would be interesting but it didn't know what to do; he silently wondered if wearing the gloves messed with the book. He decided that he was just tired and that's why things weren't looking right so he set the book to the side, keeping it open so as to not have to reopen it in the morning, and went to sleep. 

Shigaraki “awoke” to a black void with some transparent blue objects floating about, he could tell rather easily that he wasn't really awake because he wasn't in pain like he normally was. He looked around the area to try and understand what was happening and saw a rather stylish yellow triangle with a few cracks in his body. He didn't seem to exactly seem to be paying attention, more so mumbling to himself. 

“What is with this guy, why is his mind so damn jumbled, I can't believe out of everyone who found my book it had to be someone whose thoughts are moving so fast.” The triangle mumbled to himself. 

“Uh, hello? Where the hell am I?” Shigaraki questioned, already mentally prepared for a fight. 

The triangle seemed to have snapped out of whatever angry thoughts he was dealing with and quickly seemed to pipe up to give some sort of speech or something. 

“Why hello there! I'm Bill Cipher, great to meet you Shigaraki! As for where you are, you're in the dreamscape, in other words my playground!” The triangle man exclaimed, seeming to intentionally making himself over the top. 

“Huh, so you're the guy that he was trying to warn me about.” Shigaraki said dismissively. The mention of “he” caused Bill to immediately scowl. 

“Yeah, yeah. That would be me. Clearly it didn't work if you summoned me!” Bill continued, trying to push past the warnings that were given. 

“I suppose not. So, what's your deal?” Shigaraki questioned. 

“Well whatever do you mean?” Bill asked, trying to play dumb. 

“What, do you, want? I know that no one’s that upbeat when meeting you unless they want something, so what is it?” Shigaraki pushed, not willing to sit through the pleasantries that commonly came with social interaction. 

“Well it's simple really! I want to regain my physical form and bring some fun to your boring world!” Bill explained, clearly holding some details back. 

“And by “fun” you mean “chaos”.” Shigaraki pointed out nonchalantly. 

“Well aren't you a smart one, yes that would be the case. But it won't be that big of a deal! You'll be fine in all the mayhem as long as you help me out! You'll be on top of the world, ruler of everything, be the one in control!” Bill exclaimed, clearly trying to tempt him into some type of deal. 

“I don't really want any of that, it's not like I would know what to do with myself anyway.” Shigaraki replied, getting Bill to clearly panic a bit. 

“Well that's fine as I can give you anything! Fame, money, knowledge, power, absolutely anything!” Bill continued to try and tempt, which Shigaraki found amusing. 

“Well I don't want fame, I absolutely hate people so people acting as though they know me would piss me off. Money would be useful but it's not like I can buy things normally, difficult to forget this face after all, plus I could always just do what I do already which is steal. I’m already tired all the damn time so having more knowledge would just be more exhausting. And when it comes to power, anything you could offer me I could gain on my own with enough time.” Shigaraki replied with a smirk, he was enjoying making this guy sweat a bit. 

“Then what do you want?!” Bill questioned angrily, clearly getting pissed about how his normal tempting tactics weren't working. He was quite literally turning red with. 

Shigaraki thought for a few minutes. He never really thought about what he wants, like at all. His destiny was set in stone after all, what he wanted never really mattered. But his teammates? Their destinies were flexible, they could still do so much when it comes to their “carries” in villainy. So while he didn't want anything, he was certain that his team would want more out of this than he ever has. It clicked in his mind what he “wanted” out of a deal with Bill. 

“How about this? If you can play nice and be a team player when it comes to my team then I'll help you regain that physical form of yours, with the caveat of you fulfilling your end first of course.” Shigaraki explained. 

“Deal!” Bill exclaimed, seeming to not think to ask follow up questions, and extending a hand engulfed in blue flames for a hand shake. Shigaraki thought for a second. 

“Sorry, I don't really do handshakes, personal hang ups, will this work?” He asked as he offered his pinkie in the same manner one would for a pinkie promise, it was a little embarrassing to have to do something so childish but with him handshakes could be deadly. 

“Yep, yep! That'll work!” Bill exclaimed, taking Shigaraki's pinkie finger to seal the deal. 

“Fantastic.” Shigaraki said with a grin, happy to see things going his way for once in life. 

“So who are your teammates anyway?” Bill finally asked, clearly not prepared for the answer. 

“Well there's Spinner, who is my favorite. Hurt him and I will find a way to kill you a second time. That may sound like a joke but it isn't, I will actually kill you. Then there's Dabi, he’s an absolute prick. As long as you know how to stand your ground in a verbal sparring match things will work out just fine. There's Kurogiri, my other favorite. Can't imagine what you can do to piss him off. There's also Mr. Compress, a rather respectable fellow. Only downside is that he'll steal your stuff just to prove that he can, personally I let him get away with it because it annoys Toga. Speaking of Toga, she's rather insane and obsessive. She'll stab you just for some blood but she's good enough at what she does that she won't hit an artery, though that doesn't really hurt as much as her emotionally dissecting you. And finally there's Twice, the embodiment of being incapable of making up his mind. He's incredibly confusing to be around but once you figure him out he's actually rather pleasant to be around.” Shigaraki explained, counting up on his fingers as he explained each league member. Meanwhile Bill just stared off, as if it's just now setting in how difficult this will be. 

“Okay, okay. I can work with this! I've dealt with much weirder and much more fucked up!” Bill said, Shigaraki was pretty sure that he was half lying to himself. 

“Whatever you say pal.” Shigaraki said with a smirk, which Bill did his best to ignore. “Now, as for how the league can really interact with you, hm…you can communicate through that book of yours right?” He asked. 

“Of course I can! It's what allows me to really make a deal with someone!” Bill answered. 

“Well that could be used as the primary form of communication, but that does lead into an issue of getting attention to talk. Hm…” Shigaraki said, trying to think this through. 

“I mean, I could always possess your body to talk to them!” Bill suggested. 

“Oh, well that makes things a bit easier. Alright, I'll allow you to possess me from time to time in order to talk to them in a more typical manner.” Shigaraki stated. 

“Alright! Well, it appears as though you're about to wake up, you'll be seeing you again rather soon, Shigaraki!” Bill exclaimed, trying to let the situation at hand roll off of him. 

Shigaraki actually woke up this time and looked around. He rubbed his head and let out a yawn. He started wondering if it was all a dream until he looked over at the book, which now had the sentence, “Great doing business with you!” with a drawing of a triangle next to it. He grinned at seeing, now knowing that it was all real. 

‘Well, things have certainly gotten a lot more interesting.’ Shigaraki thought as he got up, putting on his jacket and shoes, grabbing the book, and heading into the league's makeshift living room. 

“Good morning Tomura Shigaraki, how did you sleep?” Kurogiri asked politely. 

“Great actually! Much better than I have in years. Gonna need you to collect the others for a team meeting, got some stuff to talk about.” Shigaraki answered, setting the open book down on the table. 

“This early in the morning? That's a bit unusual of you.” Kurogiri questioned, already heading off to do as asked. 

“Eh, what can I say? You can discover some rather fascinating things through dreams.” Shigaraki said with a grin. 

It only took a few minutes for the league to assemble in the living room. Shigaraki sat in the middle of the couch, Spinner was to his right, Dabi was to his left, Mr. Compress was sitting in the plush chair, Kurogiri was standing to the side of the couch, Twice was sitting besides Dabi, and Toga was sitting on the arm of the couch. 

“So, what's this meeting about?” Dabi questioned, doing his best to seem like he didn't give a shit. 

“Well, as most of you know I found this book abandoned in the woods yesterday,” Shigaraki started while gesturing towards the book, “and I found something incredibly interesting about this book. It is apparently hosting a deal making being known as Bill. So, I set things up in such a way that we basically have a new teammate, with us having a deal that if he acts as a team player then I'll help him regain his physical form. He'll primarily be communicating through the book, but I have made the offer that he'll be able to possess my body sometimes to make communication easier.” He continued to explain. 

“Wooooah! Well isn't this an incredible turn of events, we have a new friend!” Toga exclaimed with a laugh, clearly rather happy about the possibilities here. 

“You sure you didn't just eat some of Spinner's gummies by accident? Seems a lot more likely than what you're talking about.” Dabi joked, not taking this seriously. 

“First, I don't keep those lying around so unless he was digging in my room he wouldn't even be able to find them let alone have some. Second, Weed doesn't cause hallucinations, prick.” Spinner pointed out exasperatedly. 

“Plus, if you don't believe me, check out the book.” Shigaraki suggested. 

With that the book changed a bit with the words, “Hey flesh bags, Bill Cipher here! Everything he said is true!” with a few triangle drawings also appearing. 

“Holy shit-” Dabi started, clearly startled by the book changing. 

“It was true! This'll be so incredible! Demon, burn the book!” Twice exclaimed, the startling revelation leaving his thoughts scattered more than usual. 

“Do not burn the book, I'm pretty sure it'll just come back.” Shigaraki said calmly. 

“Well okay, we now have…a possessed book as a teammate?” Spinner couldn't help but question. 

“Eh, more like a demonic triangle that's currently possessing a book.” Shigaraki explained. 

“Well, okay. Guess this is what we're dealing with now…” Spinner said, clearly unsure on how to feel about the situation at hand. 

“Well at least we got one more teammate to assist in our goals, even if it's a little out of the realm of normal.” Mr. Compress stated, trying to make things make sense in his head. 

“Plus a new friend!” Toga exclaimed happily. 

“Are you sure that this decision will end well Tomura Shigaraki? Last I checked, deals with demons do not normally end well.” Kurogiri questioned. 

“It'll be fine, don't worry! I've got this all figured out.” Shigaraki answered, he wasn't completely telling the truth but close enough. 

“If you insist.” Kurogiri nodded. 

“Hey, I'm right here you know! Quite rude to be talking about me as though I'm not here!” Bill said through the book. 

“Right, right! Sorry about that! So, do you already know who we are or should we introduce ourselves?” Toga offered. 

“Yep, already know who each of you are! Kurogiri, Spinner, Toga, Dabi, Twice, Mr. Compress! Benefit of being an all seeing entity!” Bill explained, showing a ‘photo’ of each of them next to their name. 

“Wooooooah! You can see everything?” Toga asked, clearly fascinated by this detail. 

“Of course! It's a rather incredible thing if you ask me!” Bill explained. 

“Ohohohohohoho! Well ain't that an interesting power!” Toga exclaimed excitedly. 

“Okay, okay. Glad that you're able to adapt to this situation so well.” Dabi said with an eye roll. 

“Oh come Dabi. Let's be real, we'll all warm up to this eventually. After all, we warmed up to you.” Mr. Compress cracked, getting an annoyed huffed in response. 

“Yeah, guess that's accurate.” Dabi muttered angrily. 

Shigaraki let out a sigh and relaxed a bit. He was rather happy with how things were turning out so far. All Bill has to do is play nice and they'll be getting along just fine, then he just has to figure out how to get Bill that physical form. Though he did know very well that it takes a while for the league to truly warm up to anyone, even if Toga was excited about all this and Mr. Compress was being polite. He didn't know how long it was going to take, but hopefully it will be in his lifetime. 

(Author's Note: Hello people, I hope you enjoyed this fic! This has been the first time that I've tried to combine my art with my writing, I hope that it turned out well! For the sake of full transparency, I will say that for the characters I use Gacha Life 2 as a base while I draw the backgrounds by hand. It's mostly that anatomy is my least favorite part of drawing, so I prefer to take short cuts when it comes to drawing them lol. Anyway, if you like my writing, you can check out my AO3 account, I may post this there as well not sure yet. You'll primarily find Spinaraki fics there as it's my main OTP, but you'll find some stuff where that's more of a side thing. I have a ton of WIP that I'm sure I'll get through (someday) so maybe keep your eye out for that!)

[draftycastle]

the language of touch

this is the first short story I've ever written, and I absolutely loved it. It's a bit long, but I hope it's worth it if you stop to read.

tw: implied mentions of SA

I cannot speak my own language.

   I can't tell my mother why I started shaking the first time she touched me After. I can't tell my father why I started crying when I walked into the kitchen and didn't notice him there until he spoke.

   I can't tell my mom I love her anymore. I can't tell her that I still love her even if I can't touch her like I used to.

   Mom still reaches out to touch me, instinctively, probably trying to ask what I want for dinner or which color of fabric she should buy. I don't know, though, and I couldn't answer if I did.

   I watch as she lays her hand on Dad's arm and they both laugh about something. I can't be part of it. They can't touch me anymore, and that is the only way any of us knew how to talk to each other.

   They don't even know what happened or why I suddenly became unable to experience the sensation of other people's skin against mine. This is all I know, and now it has been taken from me.

   I ball my hands into fists. Mom tries to ask what's wrong, to reach for my hand, and I jump away. The hurt and the worry in her eyes nearly breaks me. I can't keep doing this. I won't.

#

   I've never truly gone to the library before. I sneaked in once of twice when I was younger, and another time more recently. I liked just looking at all the books, wishing I knew how to read and write like the scribes.

   Now it's a longing for anything to escape the fact that I can't touch. If only I could read, I could get out of this body, this tainted skin, for just a moment. If only I could write, maybe... maybe I could tell someone. I could finally explain.

   Unfortunately, reading and writing has mostly died out since telepathic touch has taken over, just like spoken language. The only people who could still do any of those were the scribes, who were meant to preserve everything.

   Mom still believes I will just get better with time, the way she kept watering her wilted flowers thinking they would come back to life if she just cared enough. I refuse to wait any longer. I have to do something. The library is the only place I know to look.

   The huge tree stands both wide and tall in the center of our village. My whole house could fit inside it twice. The door is hidden, but I was the kid who'd spent hours when I was small searching for a key, trying to find my way into it so I could look at all the books. I had wanted to be a scribe.

   I pick up the same fake stone I had found all those years ago, and push it into the indented spot on the side of the tree and the door slides open. It creaks some, but it's just quiet enough that I had been able to sneak in without being noticed.

   I resist the urge to hide among the shelves now, too. To find a corner in here with a book or two and just look at the pages, feel the smooth texture of paper beneath my fingers because that is still soothing--at least, I hope.

   The second I make myself known to the people here, they will want to touch me. I will have to find a way to explain myself without that. Some of the scribes could speak, all could read and write, but I couldn't do any of those things.

   Still, this is the only way I could fix my touch problem. I need help.

   The shelves and desks filling the center of the room are man made out of dark, rich wood, but the shelves along the wall look... natural. Like the tree grew shelves inside it's hollow body. It seems to have grown this way, somehow. Leaves and branches grow out of those shelves, and fallen, decaying leaves are scattered along the grassy floor. Little mushrooms and flowers peek out among the grass.

   I finally walk in further, glancing at the books scattered on the tables as I go, some open, some open but set upside down to hold the pages in place, some filled with way too many bookmarks.

   It's like a maze trying to find my way to the desks in the back, where the resident scribes are studying and working. There is only one today. I remember him from the times I sneaked in.

   The low, amber lighting, just enough to read by and not enough to strain the eyes, shines on his face just right, the same way it did when we were kids. I watched him, that first day I went exploring. I think he saw me, but I doubt he remembers. He's the only scribe I've ever seen in person.

   His face is scrunched up as he tries to focus on whatever he's reading. I feel bad for interrupting, so I try to do it politely, just quietly coughing to get his attention.

   He glances up after a moment and startles when he realizes there's actually a person right in front of him. It's kinda adorable. He sighs and stands, coming around the table to touch my arm and ask what I need. I anticipate what he's about to do because it's what anyone here would do and step back before he reaches me.

   He frowns, confused. He takes another step, hesitantly. I take two. He runs a hand through his hair, but gets the hint and doesn't come closer. I turn around slowly, still keeping my eye on him, so I can move if he tries to touch me again.

   I search through the books on one of the tables, looking for a picture that can help me explain. I couldn't think of another option. He stood next to me, and I took another step to the side to give myself more space.

   I look through book after book with pictures of flowers and buildings and fires and the sparkle of magic. Some with people but nothing quite right. He just watched curiously, looking back and forth between my face and the books.

   After doing this for who knows how long, I throw my hands in the air and flop into a chair, dramatically. My body language is all I have, so I exaggerate it. He just tilts his head a bit.

   He moves his hands around and says some words I don't understand, trying his forms of communication to ask what I need. I know what he's asking, and I know the answer.

   Fix me, fix me, fix me, I want to scream. But I have no way to say anything.

   He pauses for a moment, then beckons for me to follow him. That, I can do. He leads my to one edge of the library, where there is more space for grass, and picks a flower. It's a bundle of several tiny purple flowers. He turns around and hands it to me.

   I hesitate, studying the flower and trying to remember what they are. Sea lavender, maybe? Statice? Or were they the same thing? I try to figure out why he's giving it to me, but I have no idea. I take it anyway, and decide that I'm going to come back tomorrow.

#

   I go back to the library the next day, like I said I would. I'm not sure I could stay away if I tried. The flower means something, maybe several somethings, I can feel it. Maybe he knows a way to fix me and he needs some time to get the stuff or figure it out, so he gave me the flower to ask me to come back. That's my favorite idea, anyway.

   He smiles when he sees me. I wish I knew his name. It would be a nice name, I think, to compliment the way the sunlight shined on his golden brown hair as he led me out to a meadow just outside the village.

   I used to come here all the time, Before. After, I developed a fear of going places outside the village alone. I started staying close to home more and more, and I still haven't started coming back. I'm glad I have someone with me for the first time.

   I missed this place.

   The smells of flowers and grass and early spring air fill me. This is what peace smells like. The birds chirping now that it is warm enough for them to be flying everywhere makes it even better. I can't help but feel at ease here.

   Little bursts of color dot the landscape, so many different flowers starting to stretch out above the grass. I wish I could name all of them.

   He crouches down and points at one of them, a small pink flower I don't know the name of. He reaches his hand out to me, offering to tell me something but not pressing.

   I want to. I really want to hold his hand, to get to know what he wants to tell me, but more than anything, to touch someone without wanting to throw up. I reach for him, too. I think I can do it, that I'm ready.

   Our fingers are an inch apart when I turn and run home instead. He called out for me and tried to tell me something, but I don't know what it was and I didn't stop.

   I couldn't do it. What is he's like the one who hurt me? How can I let him touch me when I don't know if I can trust him?

#

   I made my way back to the meadow on my own the next day. I walk quietly, wondering if he would be there. I can't decide if I hope he will or won't. On the one hand, I don't want to face him after all of that, and I just want to be around the flowers.

   On the other, I do really want to see him again, despite myself. And I don't want to be alone.

   He's laying in the field staring up at the sky. It's full of big, puffy clouds, today. I debate whether or not to stay. I reluctantly lay down in the grass beside him.

   His hair is so neat that I'm surprised he was willing to lay down on the grass, but I don't really know him yet. I don't even know his name. I should find something to call him, other than "him". I thought about the first flower he gave me.

   Statice would be a nice nickname until I can find out his name. Which I will, and soon. I will lose my mind if I'm not back to normal by the end of spring.

   Statice smiles at me when he notices I've laid down beside him. I get that warm and fuzzy feeling the other girls were always telling me about when he smiles at me like that. I'm just really glad he wants me to be here, too.

   He holds up a stack of cards with pictures on them and points to the flowers. It takes me a moment to pick up on what he's telling me, but when he does, I smile so big it must have covered my face. I start nodding aggressively.

   He wanted to use the images to tell me about the flowers.

   He picks up a sweet pea, with a picture of a person leaving. The flower itself could just be leaving or maybe departure. Something along those vibes, at least I assume that's what he was trying to tell me.

   We spend a long time out here, going through different flowers with pictures, me guessing at what they meant exactly because they weren't all straightforward. I had no way to confirm my guesses and assumptions, though.

   I wish I had asked more about plant types, so I would know what to call all these plants and how to describe them properly. I recognize rhododendron when he shows me one, along with a picture of a sign that feels like a warning or maybe something like "look out" or "pay attention". Possibly danger?

   There were several more I can barely remember now. I need more practice, more time, but I want to know it all now. I have been unable to communicate for so long, and I am so close now to finally being able to talk to him that I can taste it.

   He lines up all the flowers we looked at today, and starts making claws with his hands and making faces like he's a bear growling or something. I laugh and glance at the flowers, assuming this is some kind of quiz. The rhododendron was my best guess since there was nothing about bears, but "beware" encompassed them pretty well, in my opinion.

   He smiled and nodded.

   He leans his body to the side, like he's about to fall over. My brow furrows. I glance at the flowers, trying to remember. The closest thing I can think of is the wilting flower image, but which flower was that? One I don't recognize, I know that much.

   I decide on the purple one with the long, thin petals. He nods again.

   We go through all of the flowers he taught me today, and I get most of them right. I do well with quizzes. They help me remember things. It seemed crazy that he could figure that out so quickly, without ever speaking to me.

   Would he ever be able to speak to me? This was lovely, right now, when we both believed I would be able to touch and communicate eventually. Would I, though? Even if I can use the flowers, that's still not the same. That's not my language.

   How will I speak to my parents with flowers? They don't know this language. I'm no closer to telling my mother I love her, not in a way she will understand.

   I sat on the ground and pulled my knees into my chest, curling my spine, making myself into as small of a ball as I could. As if I was trying to escape my skin by crawling so deeply into myself that I was not part of my body anymore.

   I hadn't noticed I was crying until the tears start falling on my clothes. Statice sits on the ground next to me, trying to be close enough to be comforting without pushing my boundaries. I appreciate that.

   He stays with me for a while, but then he gets up and goes over to some bushes near the edge of the meadow. I don't move. I'm not sure I can. I desperately need to be held, to be told that I will be okay, that things will get better, but I cannot stomach the touch required for any of that.

   I hear Statice's footsteps coming back, so I glance up, and he is holding some form of carrot he seems to have pulled from the ground somewhere. A winged rabbit is chasing him with the carrot as he comes back toward me.

   My jaw drops. He lets the rabbit have the carrot right as it gets up next to me. I've never seen a winged one in person before. They're so rare. I can't figure out how he found it.

   It sits next to me for a while, munching on it's carrot. When it finishes, it looks up at me, runs in a circle, and then reaches it's paw up, and I put my hand out, just to see what it would do. The rabbit gave me a high five.

   I don't think I've laughed that much since Before. Statice laughs with me.

#

   I gaze up higher and higher, looking at the natural shelves that seem to stretch up and up, towering above the tallest buildings I've ever seen. Trying to climb the stairs to Statice and his family's rooms at the top of the tree seems impossible.

   There are small ledges before each new row of shelves with staircases along the sides of them. The highest ledges no longer have books, but old scrolls that are falling to pieces.

   With such a tall ceiling, this place must be wonderful to grow up in, with such an expanse to fill with dreams.

   I came looking for Statice, like I always do, but I saw him with his sister. At least, I think that's who she is. She looks like him, but not much older. I didn't want to interrupt, so I waited in the bookshelves just out of sight, but the interaction I accidentally witnessed clearly wasn't something I was meant to see.

   She reached out to grab his hand, and he flinched away, the same way I have from so many people. The anger on his face contrasted with the hurt on hers. I don't think I've ever seen him angry, at least, not like that.

   I've retreated into the front of the library now, rather than the back where he tends to be. He could come find me here when they were done. I don't want to see anything else that was meant to be private.

   I start to worry about the anger I saw in him. I've never seen it before, but that doesn't mean it's not commonly occurring around other people. What if he's only being nice to me to gain my trust?

        I can't start thinking like this again. I sigh, annoyed with myself. I need to get better. It's nearly the end of spring, and I told myself I'd be better before summer.

   I might as well do something useful while I wait, so I start scanning books I look at image after image, trying to find anything that might be useful or even just something to share with Statice.

   I find a picture of a man who is angry, violent. I flip the book over, marking that page. I look at a flower book. It's gorgeous I recognize most of these now. I wish I could read what it said, though. Maybe I could learn faster that way, at least.

   Statice finds me, finally. He looks stressed, and he's running a hand through his hair, but when he sees me, he lights up a bit. I'm feeling warm and fuzzy again.

   He looks at the books I've been scanning and tilts his head. I flip over the one with the angry man for him, and he winces. I notice it only because I was looking. The picture had nothing to do with Statice and everything to do with the man from the night that Before became After, but he found guilt in it anyway.

   That worries me.

   Statice looks around at my collection of books, then walks off into the library. I frown, but follow him. He leads me into a section with books that are extra colorful and bright. I'm sure I've been here before, but I've never stopped to look at anything here. It looks like it's all meant for small children.

   He picks up a few books, though, and we head off to the meadow together. It's getting late, but that's okay. I think he wanted to stargaze, and I would love that.

   Laying on the grass together, staring at the stars, would continue to be one of my favorite memories for years to come. To stare at the stars and realize how big the universe is, how much this all stretches beyond the two of us, and yet we get to be here together.

   He is choosing to spend time with me despite how hard the lack of communication makes our friendship.

   I want to touch him. I have so many questions and so much I want to say. If I can just grab his hand, this will all get so much easier. Then I can touch my mom, too, tell her thank you and I'm sorry and I love you and you don't have to worry anymore. I can make friends again.

   Everything will get better if I can just grab his hand like a normal person. That's all I have to do.

   I psych myself up, and I go for it. I reach for his hand lying beside mine, and I take it, feeling his skin against mine. For a moment, I thought I'd done it. He felt warm and safe but-

   I still want to throw up after a few seconds. I don't notice his reaction at all because I'm shaking, and I just want to get out of there.

   Why can't I just be normal? I just want to be the person I was Before again. I didn't ask for any of this. I am shaking and crying and nauseous because my ability to touch, to communicate, was stolen from me. I can't even fix it. It seems to keep getting worse.

   Statice walks beside me as I go home, gripping the sides of my arms, trying to fold them into myself. He gives me plenty of space, but stays by my side the whole time.

#

   I open the door, ready to leave the house, but there's a bouquet on my doorstep. White yarrow, some tiny purple flowers I don't know, yellow tulips, and of course, statice.

   I smiled at the gesture. I knew the yarrow meant something like health or healing, but the others I didn't know. Even so, it was reassuring. He still liked me after last night.

   I won't go to him today, though. I'm not ready, and I'm taking this bouquet as a sign that he understands that, too. After last night... I don't think I'm ready to be around him yet.

   It was still hard to believe that I had touched him. Neither of us were fully prepared for it so we still didn't say anything, but I did get to feel the warmth of his hand. Clearly, I didn't want it enough, though. I would've been able to do it if I did.

   The next few days are a blur. I stay home for most of them. I'd stopped going to school After since no one could speak to me. There isn't any reason for me to be there now. I miss my friends, though.

   I have nowhere else to go without seeing Statice, so I stay in bed. I work on my sewing a bit, trying to stitch these pieces of fabric back together. Maybe I can't fix me, but I could fix these clothes.

   On the third night, I lie in bed and sigh, staring at the ceiling, wishing I could see the stars and Statice was beside me. Wishing I could feel the touch of the people I cared about again, the way I did every night.

   Touch really wasn't an option right now, I guess. I had been the one to initiate, and it still felt horrible. It had felt like the perfect time. I can't do it yet, as much as I wanted to be able to before the end of spring.

   Would I ever manage it again? I'm not sure anymore.

#

   Statice brought books to the meadow again. We didn't do anything with them last time since I... needed to leave, but now he was excited to teach me to read. He was nearly bouncing as he got a bunch of pictures to go along with children's books and flashcards with words.

   I laugh at how excited he is. He's adorable.

   I'm excited, too. I've dreamt of this since I was little, and now it's finally happening. I'm going to be able to read stories. I may have lost touch, but I was finding so many other things, so at least there was good in that.

   We went through letter tiles first where he'd put together a couple cards and then show me a picture. First was "B-E-D" followed by a picture of a bed. We went through so many words like this, but eventually I started to make sense of it, to remember what all of this sounded like when I had been communicating in my head.

   It was probably easier for him, knowing how to actually make the sounds and hear the words he was trying to learn to connect to these symbols on the page. That's likely why they stopped teaching us to read in the schools. It was hard to teach kids who no longer spoke.

   I read my first book today, and we both started dancing wildly in the middle of the meadow where no one else could see us. It's one of the best days.

   We keep working on reading for a while, but it keeps getting harder the next few days. The excitement starts wearing off and the confusion from the words that are harder to explain through pictures is getting stronger.

   I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to be able to tell and hear stories with my hands, with my love, with my touch.

   The movements of my hands as he keeps encouraging me to read get more jagged and sharp. I think he notices, but he doesn't do anything different. I get up and storm away a bit, pulling my arms around myself. I felt ridiculous, but dramatic movements were still the easiest option I had to communicate.

   Statice walks up behind me. He gives me a small, encouraging smile, and a flower. It had a long, tall stem with lots of small, white flowers poking out from the sides. I remember the picture it went with being someone cheering someone else on.

   I don't flinch when his fingers brush mine as I take the flower.

#

   The air has grown hot and sticky. Spring is long gone, now, but I was okay with that. I still really want to be able to touch again, that hasn't changed a bit. I'm willing to give myself time, though, and I have hope that it will come when it's ready.

   If it doesn't... well, I'll figure that out, eventually.

   It helps that Statice is teaching me to write, now. I'm getting the hang of it, so we are getting close to the ability to talk. It's still hard though, nothing like the natural feeling of being able to graze someone's hand and ask a question.

   There's still no way for me to talk to my parents, though. I want to tell them everything that had happened these last few months. Mom has stopped trying to touch me at all, and it breaks my heart every time I know she wants to.

   I'm at the meadow now, without Statice for the first time in a while. I just want to try to make a bouquet. I want to tell them what happened or give some indication.

   Danger. I pick up the rhododendron. I need statice, of course. Though no one else would understand why I picked that flower. I put it back. What else would I put for him? Acacia, friendship. That works.

   I spend hours going through flower after flower. Trying to find the perfect combination to express what has happened to me and what I'm feeling now. I can't explain them, though. I have no way of telling them what all the flowers mean to me.

   What's the point? They don't understand the flower language anyway. There was no reason for me to keep doing this.

   I wrote it down. Or started to, anyway. At least that would make more sense than random flowers. I wrote the story, the explanation for every flower and the hurt and the hope that I've experienced. I stopped midway through.

   I don't know why I insisted on doing these things, even know they won't be able to understand or read any of it. They can't speak my new languages. There's still no way for me to actually communicate with them.

   I sigh, laying down on the grass. I had insisted on starting this story, for some reason. I might as well finish it. Maybe not for them, but for me. Maybe I'll show it to Statice if I'm feeling brave.

   By the time I finished, he had shown up. I wonder how often he's here without me. I can't figure out how he ever gets anything done with how much time he seems to spend in the meadow.

   He smiles when he sees me, just like he always does, and picks up his pace with a little spring in his step. He lies down on his stomach beside me, glancing at the notebook I'm writing in and the mess of picked flowers on the other side of me.

   I cover the page of the notebook for a moment, trying to decide if I really want to do this, if I'm ready. His brows raise, but he doesn't push.

   I sigh. I've wanted to talk about this for so long. He's lying here beside me, waiting patiently, just as he has through all of this. He hasn't pushed for a single thing, especially not touch. I have no good reason to believe he would be different if he knew.

   I take my hands off the book and slide it over to him.

   His smile grows as he starts to read the pages, but dims the more he reads. The beginning... isn't the brightest of tales. His expression grew grave. His jaw clenches. As he gets closer to the end, though, he relaxes more again. He laughs at something, though I'm not sure what. He grows more peaceful. Hopeful.

   He hops up without looking at me. My brows scrunch together, and I sit up. He's just... leaving? He comes right back though, with two flowers in his hand. Statice and almond blossom. Remembrance and hope.

   He sits next to me, as close as I can tolerate. He moved slowly closer, giving me a moment each time to move away or to give some indication that he should stop.

   I waited until our thighs met, the only barrier being our clothes. This was okay, now.

   He gave me the flowers and a book I hadn't seen him bring in with him. I have no idea where he got it. A galaxy painted made the background, with a couple staring at each other lovingly, but not touching, were on the cover. Love and Stardust.

   I grabbed his hand. I didn't think about it. I was just excited, and this was all very sweet, and I was ready. So I took his hand in mine, for just a moment. I don't say anything. I don't know what to say. It's the first time I've had the chance to say anything, and I have no idea what to use it for.

   Statice? he asks, grinning.

   My cheeks burn. I didn't know your name. It was the best I could come up with.

   He laughs a bit. It's Zenith. But you could keep calling me Statice, if you like. It's adorable.

   I turn my head away. I must be bright red.

   Would you like to know what it means?

   I nod, holding his hand a little tighter. I can't quite believe this is happening, that it's real, and he's real, and this isn't all a dream.

   The zenith of a star is the highest point in the sky that it will reach. My mom named me that because she always had the biggest dreams for us, me and my sister.

   That's beautiful.

   He nods, smiling and staring at the sky like he can see the stars in the middle of the day.

   My name's Evera.

   He grins, but it's wistful. Of course. Brave one suits you perfectly. He pauses, glancing back at the sky. I'm so proud of how far you've come.

#

   I touch the tip of my finger to the skin on his arm. The slightest touch, but he won't ask for anything more than I am ready to give. That trust is what has helped heal me the most, I think.

   I'm ready. I'm going to tell them my story, and that I love them.

   I've been leaving them almond blossoms and aster, red chrysanthemum and amaranth, all around the house. Every flower for love and hope that I could find, whether they know what any of it means or not.

   Maybe love is a language of it's own, and you can feel it, even if you don't know what the other person is saying.

   He hands me a galax flower, just like he did the day I was struggling with reading. I knew what it meant for sure now, encouragement, and it's name. The impact of it was the same, though.

   I thought that was all he had, but then he was handing me a gladiolus, too, and I can't figure out where he got it. I don't think they even grow around here. I nearly start crying, though.

   I can't tell if he knows that I've read about it, or if he doesn't expect me to know what he's saying since he never taught it to me. I remember, though, waiting for him in the library, and reading it's most common meaning.

   Bravery and the courage to overcome challenges and preserve despite the odds.

   I turn back once more as I leave, and he is smiling at me, proud and excited for the person I am becoming.

#

   I walk in to the smell of homemade cookies and my mother's joy. She has been happier lately, and I can't help but wonder if she knows somehow that I am getting better, that I am okay.

   The warm, sweet cookies are also the smell of home, of safety, of my childhood, and of love. Of course love is a language all of it's own that transcends language barriers entirely. It is in every memory, every moment. It's in sitting beside each other unable to touch to comfort one another. It is in my parents waiting for me to heal even if it killed them not to understand.

   I never needed words, really. They're just an easier way to explain what we can already feel.

   I hesitate, though, to touch them. Not because I'm afraid of the touch anymore. I can handle that now. But because I'm afraid I will forget this, or I will become a different person once I am able to touch them again.

   Everything has changed. I am different. Will they be okay with that, once they understand? They'll have to get to know me all over again. But maybe some things are still the same.

   Maybe this old part of me can be part of the new, too.

   I throw my arms around my mother for the first time in months, and she's already sobbing. I reach for my father, and he joins us in a group hug.

   I love you, I love you, I love you.

   I can't even tell who's speaking, if it's one of us or all of us or if we can just feel the words.

   I missed you both so much, I whisper.

   We keep holding each other tight, and I can feel the memories and the love transcending through the three of us, not just because we were touching but despite it, too.

   I tell them the story, my story. I tell them about the girl who was so hurt and broken that she became incapable of communicating with anyone. I tell them about how she tried to force it, to force herself to get better before she was ready. I tell them that she found help, that she met Statice, Zenith, and that he believed in her and stuck with her until and after she did find her way again.

   I tell them about how this was for them most of all. How more than anything, I wanted to tell them I still loved them.

   They tell me that they always knew that, and that they still loved me through all of it, too.

#

   Zenith takes my hand. I smile at how naturally it comes now. It's still not the same as it was. I flinch when I'm not expecting it, and there are nightmares to contend with still. But I have never been alone through any of it.

   I talked to Ambrozia today, he says.

   Yeah? How'd it go? I still don't fully understand his relationship with his sister. He rarely talks about her. I can see it, though, when they're together, that he resents her and misses her all at one.

   I'm not mad anymore. I smile and squeeze his hand, urging him on. It's the first time in years that I'm not angry with her. He pauses. It's because of you.

   I had a feeling I brought some yarrow with me for a reason. I pick up the tiny bundle of small white flowers that gather together into circular shapes. Of course, I always have gladiolus with me, too, and so I grab some of that, too.

   I hold them out to him, encouraging his healing the same way he did all those months for me.

[raichana-artblog]

OCtober - Unexpected Encounter

too sick to draw today so here is another blurb. This time from Darious' side. less then 800 words

My feet silently carry me through the dense forest, I can hear the shouts of humans behind me. I may not be able to understand what they are saying but there is one thing I do know.

Nothing good comes from interacting with outsiders.

However, I can’t get too far from the gate or it will be too difficult to return home.

As I run I notice the trees begin to thin. A clearing comes into view, luck smiles down on me as I may be able to get a view from higher up. I change course and that is when I see her. Big golden eyes lock on as we stare at each other. I feel as if I’ve seen those eyes before but not in the waking world. For a moment I am entrance but time stops for no one.

“ah” I kept help but mutter as I realize there is no more ground beneath my feet, and with someone watching I can’t simply use my ability.

She yells something at me, sounding concerned in a language I do not understand as gravity takes over. Not long after hearing her soft voice I hit the edge of the cliff. With the wind knocked out of my the world spins and darkness takes hold. I try to fight it however once I feel her hand on my arm my mind goes blank.

~~~

I do not know how much time has passed. The space is warm, faint crackling from a nearby fireplace adding to the soothing atmosphere. I slowly pry my eyes open and try to sit but my body is sore and refuses to listen.

“You’re awake” the sudden voice made me jump up despite the pain. The man was tall and somewhat thin, he shared the golden eyes of the girl from before. “My daughter told me you took quite the tumble before, you may not want to move so much” he held out a bowl with some kind of soup in it.

I knew better then to trust some human but I couldn’t help but lower my guard a bit. “How… do you know Haven’s language?” I needed to be aware of the threat this human posed.

“Lucian and Laurence taught me when we travelled together” Hearing my father and uncles name shocked me “you share their ears so I assumed you might be related…” for a moment he seemed thoughtful “He ended up calling it haven then… I swear” he gave a sheepish grin and once again tried to show me the soup. “it’s not poisoned” his assurance does not fill me with confidence “I worry that your stomach growing will wake Raichana” he pointed to a nearby couch. The girl from before draped over it much like someone who had tried to stay up past their bedtime. “she tried very hard to get you to safety, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her cry like that before” he had gotten close enough to put the bowl in my hands.

He knew my father and uncle well enough to travel with them, it was probably safe to eat. It smelled divine after all. After a quick prayer to the gods I began to eat. It didn’t take long for a second bowl to be placed in front of me, before I could protest my stomach made the call. It was like the man could read my mind so perhaps I needed to be a little more cautious.

As I ate he would occasionally speak to someone I couldn’t see in the language I did not understand. It was most likely his wife. Based on their daughter's slightly pointed ears she must not have been a human like the man. Still it was odd that she remained hidden. I tried not to dwell on it since I would be leaving soon, If all went well we would never meet again after all.

~~~

Once I had my fill exhaustion began to grip me once more. “I need to get back… father will worry” I muttered as my eyes lids threatened to close.

“you should head back tomorrow, my daughter can show you a way to avoid any pursuers” he pulled the blanket up and began telling me stories of his travels with father. While the man he spoke of seemed much more jovial then the father I knew it was nice to hear about another side of him. His melodic voice made the pull of sleep impossible to ignore.

I don’t remember the dream I had that night, but it was probably a warning that I should have gone home before it was too late.

[thewolfisawake]

RULES: repost, don’t reblog. just pick a muse of yours and fill it out.

MUSE: Balmoral

— basics

▸ is your muse tall/short/average? 

Bal is about average height. He's about 5'9" (~174 cm).

▸ are they okay with their height? 

He has no problem with it. He can reach reasonable amount of things, he's not having folks mess with him because he's a tree nor a stump. Although his height can actually fluctuate with his emotional state but it hasn't acted up in quite a while.

▸ what’s their hair like?

Bal's hair is a darkness that is comparable to the evening sky. So it is more black or blue dependent on the lighting. It gradients down towards an icy blue and then every so faintly is the barest bit of pink. His hair has a little body so it's not flat but it also isn't immensely fluffy. It falls half way down his chest. While he would like to be able to wear it down, he usually can't because of decorum rules or something of the like. So his hair is normally in a long braid, partial braid with the rest down, or a ponytail. All with simple flairs or additions to make it a little less plain but overall still pretty practical.

▸ do they spend a lot of time on their hair/with their grooming?

Not really because he has that 'I woke up like this' sort of thing (the bastard). But he does detangle it so that it causes less problems in his day. Honestly the longest time is usually getting the style working with his circlet or crown. And he has to get that right, unfortunately.

▸ does your muse care about their appearance?

Yes to an extent. As the king he has to appear immaculate since he doesn't want to make the Unseelie look bad. Doubly so since they're thought of as the more slovenly of the Courts to begin with. He also keeps up his looks because it keeps others attention longer and it adds his charisma. But he is the type to get annoyed at having to 'made up' for an extended amount of time.

▸ does your muse care about what others think about them?

Professionally, yes. Personally, no. He keeps a hand on the pulse when it comes to what others think of him. He uses them as indicators of public perception. And it usually means some adjustment somewhere for himself. But as for does it actually hurt his feelings what others think about him? No. He's himself and he's gonna do what he wants so others can kick rocks. Of course he can't always act so brazenly but it's enough to know you probably don't want to mess with him.

— preferences

▸ indoors or outdoors? Outdoors ▸ rain or sunshine? Rain ▸ forest or beach? Forest ▸ precious metals or gems? Precious Metals ▸ flowers or perfumes? Flowers ▸ personality or appearance? Personality ▸ being alone or being in a crowd? Being in a crowd ▸ order or anarchy? Anrachy ▸ painful truths or white lies? White Lies ▸ science or magic? Magic ▸ peace or conflict? Conflict ▸ night or day? Night ▸ dusk or dawn? Dusk ▸ warmth or cold? Warmth ▸ many acquaintances or a few close friends? Many acquaintances ▸ reading or playing a game? Playing a game

— questionnaire

▸ what are some of your muse’s bad habits?

Bal tends to be overly familiar to others. This can mean him being a bit too casual with the diplomat. This can be him putting out half-hearted threats that could be very bad for the land if he acted on them. He also likes to push buttons and instigate to see where things will go and to sometimes push someone to a discomfort they need to face.

▸ has your muse lost anyone close to them? how has it affected them?

Sort of? I will say for now that it was a group of nature spirits/insects. The loss made him driven and to never hesitate.

▸ what are some fond memories your muse has?

A lot of his fond memories are actually after he came to the Unseelie. He tends to feel nostalgic for the patrols that brought him to the surface. And not so lonely patrol nights after Mhoirbheinn joined them.

▸ is it easy for your muse to kill?

It's fairly easy to him. I wouldn't say that he's murder happy but it also isn't off the table with most encounters Bal has had. But that may also be apart of being an Unseelie where power does talk and it is something that gains respect.

▸ what’s it like when your muse breaks down?

Hoo. Boy. How pointed. But generally, there's this spiral of 'why.' He wants to know why it came to this conclusion, what he could've done, if there were certain conditions to this. His mind is racing with no finish line in sight and I'm sure he probably sounds like a madman with his mutterings. There is also an anger and frustration that makes him volatile to be around. Kinda literally as all sorts of magic is sparking off him. But then it eventually simmers down to resolution. That he has either reasoned or brought himself to a conclusion and sticks to it. Almost doubling down on it.

▸ is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life?

Yes. He is capable of doing so. He feels by virtue of his generals, he does trust them with his life. And further than that, he would put his life in Mhoirbheinn's hands with no hesitation.

▸ what’s your muse like when they’re in love?

There is feeling of soft and reprieve from all the noise of life. It is an unmistakable feeling of safety and it is all-encompassing of his senses. He is more forward and sincere to them because it is where there is no boundary and rules to stop him. There is a yearning that he has throughout his mind when it's the public and when alone there is a desire for touch, closeness and presence. As if to soak it all in for them to last until the next time that'd be allow...whenever that is. Balmoral would want to lavish the world to them and would want to give every aspect of himself to them. It can be a lot.

[kerra-and-company]

11-13, 18 and 20 for Nisha? :3c

Nisha time!! :D (Also, you sent me two asks, which probably was accidental but I'm 1000% answering both of them <3)

11. Bad or petty habits

Nisha's biggest bad habit is, I think, being a bit overly perfectionistic, particularly when under more stress than usual/not doing great mentally in other aspects. That and not sharing how xe's feeling are both things that xe slips back into doing when xe's not...Thriving, shall we say. Xe is pretty good at recognizing that nowadays, though, and will ask for help of some kind/in some way 99 times out of 100.

(On a slightly more lighthearted note, Nisha also tends to fall asleep reading with a light of some kind still on, which would be mostly okay except that xe has drained several batteries that way and once nearly set a nightstand on fire xD )

12. Grudges and vendettas

Legitimately, I think all the people/beings/creatures that Nisha had severe grudges/vendettas against are dead (most significantly, Mordremoth, Balthazar, and--to some extent--Kralkatorrik). I can't think of anyone still alive who falls into this category enough to be noted here (though there are certainly folks that xe dislikes who are still around!).

13. What gets them flustered

Surprise affection! (From specific people who've talked about this beforehand! Consent is still important, folks.) If one of xyr partners comes up and kisses xem on the cheek, for example, that's a good one, and Kerra and Canach definitely use that "trick" on a regular basis. (Which actually requires some creativity on both of their parts since Nisha is TALL xD)

Aside from that, genuinely having someone look up to xem/respect xem and tell xem so will sometimes do it, though this often leans towards more just generally emotional than flustered, and xe probably won't show it in front of said person if at all possible.

18. Things they’ll never admit

Nisha, these days, doesn't really have a thing that's a hard "I'll never tell anyone about this", but there's definitely some things that xe keeps generally under wraps. The fact that xe and Rel are not born of the Pale Tree is something of an open secret, but the fact that they both knew about the Mordremoth-sylvari connection their entire lives (and knew years before 1327-1328) is a secret that's kept much quieter. There are definitely people who know (such as their respective partners and very close friends--meaning, at this point, probably all of Dragon's Watch), but it's not even close to common knowledge. It doesn't need to be shared, so it isn't. (Side note, this is also making me wonder, as far as actual canon goes, how widely known it is among other sylvari nowadays that Caithe knew for years and kept that secret--or if it's known at all beyond the Commander and Dragon's Watch and the Pale Tree.)

20. What-ifs/Alternate Timelines

Ooh, alternate timelines with Nisha? Let's see here...well, I immediately thought of a timeline where xe just doesn't exist, but honestly things are just worse there and it's making me sad, so we're going to leave that one alone asldjkfasdf. I don't think Nisha would ever have ended up Commander unless you fully swapped xyr backstory and Kerra's or something like that--which is a fun thought experiment, actually, because how much do you swap there? Does Nisha just end up being a child of the Pale Tree and Kerra is born in Maguuma? Do they swap siblings, too? (E.g., Kerra is Rel's twin and Nisha has Caithe and Trahearne as older siblings?) Nisha with Kerra's empathy abilities (even just that on its own without moving anything else around) would increase xyr early need to keep everything emotional under control times 10, easy.

In terms of something that isn't a swap, there's definitely a world where instead of just letting Rel leave the Priory and travel, xe tried to stop him (like physically stop him, not just talk him out of it) because xyr fear pushed xem past a point of making reasonable decisions, and it really hurt their relationship as siblings. They'd make up going into and throughout HoT, but it'd always be just a little bit awkward. (The stopping wouldn't be physically violent in the sense of hitting him, but restraining is and would still have been bad. Xe's impulsive when xe's afraid sometimes, especially at that point when xyr emotional regulation was an empty metal can with two crumbs in it, and the only reason xe didn't try anything along those lines in main canon was that xe was too shell-shocked and more devastated than afraid in the moment.)

Brain is tired, so I'm stopping there, but there are definitely more potential AUs/timelines out there for xem :D

[thepassionof-joanharrow]

This is How We Walk on the Moon ~Chapter 6: Breaking Down | Matt Murdock x OFC

Pairing: Matt Murdock x OFC

Summary: Sura Harmon works for a nonprofit foundation in NYC and goes to Nelson and Murdock to find some lawyers for the foundation’s clients. Upon meeting Matt, he seems strangely familiar. Matt instantly recognizes Sura as someone he attempted to help while in his Daredevil suit just a week ago. As they continue to work together, Sura and Matt are drawn to each other more and more.

But little does Matt Murdock know that his new colleague Sura Harmon has just as many secrets as he does.

Warnings: Eventual smut, (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT), swearing, discussion of trauma, death and mental illness, emotional angst, discussion of the blip/snap.  

Word Count for Chapter 6: 3,870

A/N: This is an ongoing series and will have many chapters! Mostly Sura’s POV but will probably have some chapters be in Matt’s POV.

Also, aside from the prologue, each chapter will have a song to go with it. I highly encourage you to listen to the song to give you the vibe for some of the scenes in that chapter!

Sura took the first sip of her coffee and let out a contented sigh. The sun was streaming in through the café’s tall windows, leaving large patches of sunlight on the tables and floor. The light was still weakened from the past winter but Sura could feel it’s increased warmth and knew it was more powerful than a month ago.

The world’s waking up again.

She smiled to herself. Spring in the city meant flowers everywhere. Buds on trees. Birds migrating and settling in parks.  She was not a fan of the cold and generally disliked winter. It was a season to get through, not enjoy. But when things started changing, that’s when magic seemed to happen. She had already been mentally planning the parks she wanted to hit up, the botanical gardens she wanted to see, the best streets for flowering trees. 

I wonder what season Matt likes best.

The thought came to her out of the blue. Ever since their meeting with Devin last Wednesday, Sura had tried to keep her thoughts occupied on other things.  Work, Luce, her family, whether she should switch up her cat’s food, anything besides Matt and their long conversation.  

So instead, the thoughts came to her all of a sudden, when she least expected them to. Random things brought them to mind.

Seeing sunglasses at the pharmacy: Where does Matt get his glasses?

Grabbing donuts with Luce on Friday: What is Matt’s favorite dessert?

Walking by a gym: Damn, I need to start going to the gym again. But also: Matt must work out. Surely that body does not come from just being a lawyer.

That last thought had made her blush and she pushed it away.  

As she sat in her favorite café that Saturday, reading, journaling, and reflecting, she could admit to herself that she was very, very attracted to Matt Murdock. And that she really, really wanted to know more about him.

Maybe I can ask him what season is his favorite next time I see him? That’s innocuous enough, right?

Sura was not sure how she wanted to proceed from here, or even where she wanted to proceed. Was getting involved with a lawyer she was working with even a good idea? Nevermind the fact that if she hit on him or even made it obvious that she was attracted to him, she could get in trouble for being unprofessional. Not that Matt seemed like the type to make a complaint to HR.

In fact, she felt like he had more than a professional interest in her as well. He seemed eager to ask her questions and get to know her. And after Devin had left and it was just the two of them, he had taken off his glasses, removed his tie and rolled up his sleeves. That felt like something he didn’t do at just any meeting, with just any client. It felt like he was getting comfortable.

But how do I know he’s really into me? What if I’m reading it wrong? What if he’s just being friendly? I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

Sura had always been bad at this part. Making the first move. Figuring out if the attraction she was feeling was real. She was fairly adept at reading the emotions of others. But motives were harder.

Matt could be into her but not want anything to happen between them. He could have been interested in her but just as a friend.  

Her gut told her that she should just believe that he was into her. Men were rarely that complicated when it came to showing interest in women. It was usually pretty obvious.

But the analytical part of her; the part that wanted to protect herself from hurt and embarrassment, told her that Matt could be different. That she shouldn’t assume things. He didn’t necessarily have to fit into the mold that society put men in. And it was unfair of her to assume. But really, it was dangerous of her to assume. Make the wrong assumption and she could look like an idiot in front of this competent, sexy, funny lawyer.

I’ll go over this with Luce. Or maybe with Devin at brunch next week. Or maybe both of them. I don’t have to solve this now.   

She swept these thoughts into a dust-pan and deposited them in a file folder in her brain labeled “Later.” She locked the door to the files, promising the contents that she would revisit them later. Besides, she wanted to get back to her book.

For the longest time, Sura hadn’t wanted to engage with any media that dealt with the blip or the heros who had brought her back. But lately she had felt emotionally ready to learn more about them and get into the details of what happened. So she settled in to finish the last couple chapters of Scott Lang’s memoir.

 It was 11pm that night. In the absence of thoughts about a certain lawyer, Sura’s mind had readily supplied something else. And she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since dinnertime.

It had started as a trickle of an idea. Then it had increased it’s presence.

I’m just going to try one more time. Just…I have to give it my all. No more after this.

She was furiously thinking to herself as she slipped off her comfortable sweatpants and swapped them for a pair of old hiking pants that she kept in the back of her closet. 

Maybe if I think about Lang’s book…the blip…what was sacrificed…maybe that will do the trick.

She eschewed her coat for a close-fitting hoodie with a front pocket.

Or maybe…hah, maybe my horniness for Matt will be able to get me there. Maybe that’s the emotion I need. Sexual frustration.

She smirked as she patted herself down to make sure she had everything. Keys in front pocket. A couple $20 bills in her back pocket. Cell phone. Gloves. Mace.

Sura hesitated by the door, one hand on the handle. She debated doing this at all.

No, she needed to. She needed to find out what she was capable of once and for all. She shut off her light and locked her apartment door behind her.

 It was chilly in Central Park as Sura slipped in. All the earlier warmth from the sun had dissipated, leaving behind a breeze.  The night felt thick too, like rain was going to come.

Hopefully I can get this done with, get some final answers for myself and get home before it rains.

Rain hadn’t really been in the forecast but Sura knew that spring brought infinite possibilities.

Hoodie up and head down, Sura walked a circle around a small pond, observing the area and seeing what she had to work with.

On the south side, a pair of lovestruck teens were huddled together on a bench.  A drunk was passed out a couple benches past them. Two women in glowing neon athleisure jogged past her.  No, no, no. Okay, maybe walk a bit farther in.

Sura started up a different path. It was darker here and the lights were spaced out farther apart. She’d had luck in this part of the park before and she hoped she would get lucky again.

She had only been walking two minutes when she saw him. The perfect target. He was headed towards her on the same path but hadn’t seemed to notice her yet. He was a bit smaller than the last guy, which was good.

Quickly shaking off her hoodie, she ruffled her hair, pulled out her wad of $20s and began giggling as she looked down at her phone. She swayed and let her steps become unsteady.

The man eyed her intensely as they passed each other. And then he stopped and turned around.

Sura took several ungraceful steps off the path to stand beneath a thicket of trees that stood by a couple boulders. She giggled some more and avoided looking up.

The man strode right up to her, confident and steady.

Okay, this one’s not drunk. Be careful.

The man had barely reached her when he raised his hand, about to strike her in the face.

In one swift movement, Sura flung her phone onto the grass and blocked his blow with her arm.

“Wha…..bitch!” He grunted at her, freeing his arm and swinging it back to try striking her again.

“Give me your cash and I’ll leave you alone!” 

“Nah, that’s not how this is going to work.”  Sura blocked him again, and as she held onto his shoulders, lifted her leg and swiftly kneed him in the gut.

He stumbled back, swearing.

Now, do it now now now.

Her brain was screaming at her. He started to get up and make his way back towards her. She had taken several steps back to give herself more time but she calculated that she would need to act soon.

She raised her right arm straight out in front of her. She turned her palm up towards the sky and closed her eyes.

She focused her mind on the anger she felt when the man called her “bitch”. In how sure he had been in attacking her. Her chest started to simmer, like a pot on low heat.

Not enough not enough!!

She thought about what she had read in Lang’s book. The deaths. How strong her anger at Thanos and fate had been in that first year back.

The simmer became a slow boil.

Almost there, maybe I have it this time!

Then unbidden, she thought of the heros who had saved the world. Brought her back. Lang, Rogers, Banner, Stark, Romanov. But the feeling that came up wasn’t anger at what they had gone through, who they had lost, what they had sacrificed. It was something else.

Bitterness. Envy. That’s what was rising up in her stomach right now. 

She tried to work with it, tried to get this new feeling to fuel her righteous anger. But instead, it started to all swirl together in a muddy clump in her chest.

FUCK. No!

She was going to have to dodge him now for more time. He was coming after her and she was only a couple feet away, moving around with her hand stretched out like a damn lunatic.  He was cursing and yelling, slightly confused but still determined to get at her.

“Now I don’t just want your cash bitch. I’m gonna beat the shit outta you.” He growled.

She had one last chance.  She took everything inside she could feel: the anger, envy, the frustration, and tried to bind it and light the match. She clenched her eyes shut. She screamed.

Nothing happened.

This made her even more infuriated. So right as he lunged at her she screamed again. Louder and more feral than she had ever screamed before. It surprised both of them, but it wasn’t enough.

He was on her and had tackled her to the ground before her scream stopped.

For a full two minutes, Sura’s world was a flurry of fists flying, arms colliding, feet scrambling for leverage. She had gotten a couple hits in while they were on the ground before he pushed her off him and leapt back up. She continued to go at him, summoning everything she remembered from her Jui-Jitsu and Krav Maga classes.

Fuck, this one is harder to put down. But I got this, I just need to keep going.

As she pulled back for another attack, an object came flying out of nowhere and hit the man on the head.

She stumbled back. The man swayed and then dropped to his knees. He clutched his head and sank all the way to the ground.

Another figure came walking up out of the darkness. As he came closer, he passed through the circle of light by the park bench below and Sura saw who it was.

“Shit.” Sura said to herself.

The Devil of Hell’s kitchen walked over to the prone man and picked up whatever had been flung at his head.

He stood over him. Legs slightly apart, fists clenched. The man was still conscious and was struggling to get up.

“What are you doing?”  the Devil asked the man. His tone was dark.

The man didn’t answer. He fumbled to his knees and then to his feet before charging at Daredevil. His attack was thwarted by a competent kick to his midsection. He doubled over but got back up.

Before he could do anything else though, Daredevil’s whole body came crashing down on him, pinning him to the ground.

“You have a broken nose and internal bleeding. I’m uninjured and I have weapons. You aren’t going to win this. I suggest you walk away now before things get worse for you.” Daredevil grunted as he kept him pinned to the ground.

The man grunted in pain. Daredevil got up and stood over him, waiting to see what he would do. After a couple moments, he started to crawl away. Eventually he picked himself up and stumbled down to the path, hurrying away from the both of them.

 The Devil and Sura both stared after him in silence. Then he walked over to Sura.

She had so many emotions and thoughts in her head, it was hard to think of what to say or do. She couldn’t even tell what she was feeling exactly. So she just looked at him right in the face, heart racing.

His gaze was steady, his mouth pressed together in a tight line.

Sura felt paralyzed.  Shame and embarrassment burned in her chest. But her head was reeling from the adrenaline of the fight and the shock of seeing Daredevil again. And underneath it all, at her core, was a deep well of disappointment in herself. The sense of losing something that you never really had in the first place.

The Devil was in front of her now, but he hadn’t uttered a word. Sura was panting and finally looked away from his face. She needed to catch her breath. She took a couple deep breaths.

She sensed vaguely that the Devil knew she was trying to calm down. He waited patiently for a moment.

He broke the silence. “What are you doing here? What happened?” 

“I was taking a late night walk. To…clear my head. The man attacked me.” Sura’s excuse was poor but it was the best she could come up with.

“Why is this the second time I find you fighting someone late at night? Within a month?” The Devil’s voice was firm. Like a scolding parent.

Sura scoffed. “Are you blaming me? Again? This dude attacked me!”

“Look, something isn’t right here.  By the time I got here, you had already beaten him up pretty good. And you were screaming bloody murder.”

“Oh, so I was in the wrong for defending myself?”

“Of course not. But why is this happening?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask the men who are attacking me?”

The Devil took a step back and lowered his head with an exasperated sigh.  

“Look…” He didn’t seem to know where to go with his sentence. Then he looked back up at her and softened his voice, trying another tactic.

“Do you need help with something? Is there something you are trying to…accomplish on these late-night walks?”

Sura looked past him, at the circle of light cast by the park lamp below. No one can help me with this. She took her head slowly, eyes welling up.

“Are you sure? I can help.” The Devil’s voice was the softest she had ever heard it. He had stepped closer to her. She looked up at his face and her chin quivered.

“It’s okay.” He said, almost a whisper.

That morsel of kindness, the tone of his voice, was all it took.  Her wall completely shattered, and a torrent of tears started pouring forth.

She broke down and sobbed, right in front of the Devil.

He came closer to her, slowly, sweet and mild.

Sura backed up until she was against a tree trunk. She wasn’t afraid of him. She was afraid of falling over. She slumped her body against the rough bark, sobs racketing her body. She covered her face in her hands as the tears streamed down her face.

A minute passed and her cries still rang out into the night. She brought her hands down and her face was completely wet with her tears and snot.

Daredevil was right in front of her now, just a foot or two away.  Suddenly all of the anger and frustration at herself, her embarrassment at being seen like this, rose to the surface.   How had this happened? How had she let this happen? I’m sobbing and totally losing it in front of Daredevil.

Fuck it then.

She let it loose. She screamed: “Fuck!” and charged into the Devil.

Sura expected him to back up or at least push her away, block her hands, something. But he stood still as she brought up her hands and started hitting his chest.

She channeled her anger into her fists and hit him while she cried and cursed.  She wasn’t hitting him that hard, she knew. She didn’t have that much strength left. And she seriously doubted she could do much damage to him in that suit.  

This was about hurting herself. Punishing herself for everything. Making her knuckles bleed because she needed to feel it all.

She screamed and sobbed until she couldn’t hit any more. Her cursing turned into phrases uttered desperately in between her crying. “I don’t understand.”

“I tried, I really tried.”

The Devil remained silent throughout it all. And he didn’t move a muscle. Just stared down at her.

 A clap of thunder and a bright flash of light made her suddenly stop. They both looked up to the sky. 

A low rumbling echoed all around the park. Sura noticed that the air had grown thicker and sweet. She heaved a giant sigh and thought there was nothing more perfect in this moment than for her to get absolutely soaked with rain.

A pair of hands gently rested on her arms. She turned her head back to the man she had just lost it on and realized that she still had his hands on his chest. But now they were flat up against him. Like she was holding onto him for balance.

“Shit.” Sura ducked her head down but didn’t move.

He smirked at her. “Did that help?”

Sura backed up now, removing her hands from him and leaving his hands empty. “Actually, yes.” She smiled weakly.

Suddenly everything was illuminated in another flash of light. A clap of thunder ricocheted off the trees, the boulders and then bounced into the darkness of the park.  

And then the sky opened and poured down on them. The rain was heavy and fast, quickly drenching them both.

Sura felt something bubble in her chest and decided to let it out. Her laughter started quiet and slow. Then a giant hiccup interrupted her and this made her laugh even harder.

The Devil was staring at her, but he was smiling now. He chuckled when her hiccup rang out over the sound of the rain.

She raised her head to face the sky and the downfall of rain and let it all wash over her as she laughed and hiccupped into the darkness.

She opened her arms and let everything get soaked. Every last inch of her.

After a moment, she felt like it had all left her body. The anger, the frustration. The envy, shame and disappointment. Even the absurd humor of being caught in a torrential downpour at a moment like this.  

She felt,….she didn’t know what she felt. She looked at the man in front of her.

She opened her mouth but closed it again.

What should I say? Sorry for hitting you and crying like a toddler throwing a tantrum?

“I…uh…” She started.

“Don’t.” The Devil cocked his head at her. The rain didn’t seem to be soaking into his suit, but it was slick and shining in the dim light. “You don’t need to apologize.”

The exposed part of his face was drenched though. Water streamed down his cheeks and dripped off his jaw. A little rivulet of water ran over his nose and fell over his lips before dropping off to the ground.

When Sura looked at him in surprise he chuckled. “I could tell you were going to say sorry or try to explain yourself. But you don’t need to. It’s okay.”

If this was someone else, maybe Sura would have persisted in apologizing. But he seemed unequivocally earnest. And it seemed pointless to protest.  A surge of endearing warmth entered her as she smiled at him.

“Okay.”

She sniffled, then shuddered as she suddenly realized she was cold.

“Let me walk you home.” The Devil was looked down at her and lifted a hand in defense. “I know you don’t need me to. I know you’d be fine without me. But I just want to make absolutely sure you get home safe. And are…generally okay. Considering.”

Sura huffed a laugh and crossed her arms, amused.

“Please? I won’t even talk to you. You don’t have to say anything to me. I just need to make sure. Do this as a favor to me.”

She laughed outright at this. The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen begging her for something?

He was right. Normally she would have outright refused. But she had just accosted him while screaming and cursing. Maybe she owed him. “Okay Mr. Devil. You can walk me home. But help me find my cell phone first.”

He smiled wide and pulled out a small flashlight from his suit and handed it to Sura.

 They walked back to Sura’s apartment in complete silence as the rain slowed down to a drizzle. She was incredibly tired now, and even if she had wanted to speak to him, she didn’t think she could carry on much of a conversation.  But she didn’t want to say anything.  Saying something could mean bringing back up all the emotions of the night. And she wanted to let it all go for now.

She didn’t even tell him where they were headed or when they needed to turn. But it didn’t seem to matter. He followed right beside her like he knew the route as well as she did.

When she stopped in front of her building, he stood beside her.

“Well, goodnight.” She looked up at him.

“Goodnight.” His voice was even but friendly.

She punched in the code to her building’s door and went in. But before the door closed, she turned around and said into the dark: “Thank you.”

He tipped his chin at her but didn’t say anything. She turned around and walked up the stairs to her apartment.

[future-circuit]

tagged by @evergardenwall

it's a long one. it's late so i let myself get carried away, particularly in one question (if you scroll you'll know what i mean).

i'd feel kind of bad tagging anyone in this post since i just ramble a lot. but as always (even though i know no one ever accepts these open invitations), if you want to do it and you haven't been tagged, tag me as having said i did. i'd like to see.

1. what book are you currently reading?

technically none? i've mentioned before but i was reading New Finnish Grammar by Diego Marani a while ago and it's been sitting in my 'to finish' pile for months now but since i do English and have to read for that it's just been sitting on the backburner.

i have since bought about eleven other books that i'm determined to read over the course of 2023 that i'm really excited for but i'll finish New Finnish Grammar hopefully before the new semester starts.

2. what do you usually wear?

a t-shirt, a jumper and jeans. i am but a simple lad.

i pretty much only own jeans and i've been trying for years to expand my wardrobe but alas...

3. how tall are you?

164cm. yeah yeah. i know. i'm small. yuck it up.

4. what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

sagittarius and i don't think so

5. do you go by your name or a nickname?

online i always go by Yellow, i probably recognise it as my name more than my actual name at this point.

6. did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?

what i wanted to be as a child was a vet (then when i figured that wouldn't work like a year later, i decided i wanted to work in an animal shelter before 2015 hit). so no, considering i'm not on that career track.

outside of careers though also no. unfortunately, somewhere along the line i found out about genders and that kind of fucked shit up a bunch. don't think young me would be impressed that i actually wear trousers now

7. what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

man i dunno what i'm good at. i'm pretty alright at the trombone. similarly i don't know what i'm bad enough at that it's notable. maths in general i guess.

8. if you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

i actually... it feels kind of narcissistic of me to say but i have a few favourite sections from my writing this year i like and yes i will share them. anyone who ends up reading this i know will skip this section but it's for my own sake.

the first two are from the chapter A Night Seems Termless Hell (Lang’s the Night Frae E’en to Morn) which is a set of loosely connected one-shots. this particular one i remember being really happy with after. i still kind of am (as you can probably tell). the third is from my portfolio piece - the second half of which was rushed and i don't particularly like but i love the first part still.

"Wandering the streets he no longer knew, towards a guiding light artificial in a way he’d once been familiar with, he felt out of place. Too big for the city he had grown up in. Too small for the world he’d once felt suffocated in. Tears pricked at his eyes but he’d already cried all of his tears back in Hisui and had none left for his own world."

___

"He didn’t know how to cook before he left for space. He’d always assumed [his mother would] be the one to teach him [...] she’d tell him on the rare occasions he was home before dinner and willing to help that it was alright for him to stay her little boy for a little while longer. He didn’t need to help and she’d let him know that that was alright. 

He could cook now, taught by a man that lived in a mountain that had taken him in when he hadn’t needed to. A man that Yuga knew his mother would love but would never get to meet."

___

"She’d skipped that step, of course, because she was one step ahead. She always was, because she read a lot of books and books were made of paper which came from trees. That meant that the wisdom of old trees had transferred into her as she read. She understood things that her parents and brother didn’t. Her mum read but was too busy to read as much as her. Her dad and brother weren’t big on reading. That was fine. Anya could be smart enough for all of them."

9. dogs or cats?

i don't really have a preference. i like them both for their own reasons.

10. what’s something you would like to create content for?

amatsuki!! i have an idea but i probably won't do anything other than think about it. it's written down though so i won't forget, so who knows.

11. what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

amatsuki and yugioh, big shocker there i'm sure. also sea slugs and dictionaries.

12. what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

i don't think i went into this year particularly expecting anything

13. what’s a hidden talent of yours?

if i have any talents they're hidden from me too

14. what’s something you wish to have at this moment?

money

[theveryworstthing]

So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.

The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class.  I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.

I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.

Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.

10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.

The Parents

From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.

Or while it was still bleeding.

If she was into that.

Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.

Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.

And he always gets his due.

He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.

Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~

Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.

Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.

This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.

Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?

Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.

Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.

What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.

Mortesha would know.

The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.

Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.

The Children

Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.

Anyway.

Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!

Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.

Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got  natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.

I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace.  I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.

Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.

She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.

Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.  

That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.

Annnnyway.  This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.

[lowlights]

I See Us

Hello! Thank you for encouraging me to write a follow-up to I See You so that I might atone for the sin of putting you Through It when it comes to dealing with younger Din. He was an idiot back then, and I stand by that.

If you haven't read Part 1, I would do that.

I See Us

Din Djarin x f!reader ; 3.8k words - I'm just throwing it out there

Warnings: more angst, but I promise it gets better. Takes place after The Book of Boba Fett, so general spoilers for that I suppose. The helmet comes off, my dears. PinV sex, some talk of cum, all the smooches, cursing Star Wars style, a brief cameo from a special guest. Let me know if I forgot something, it's late.

Series Masterlist

**

“Alright, kid. We’re going on a little trip to see an old friend. Well, she isn’t so much a friend as…something else. I don’t know what. I need you to behave, maybe she won’t be so mad if she sees an adorable little womp rat with me.” 

Grogu coos at his dad, babbling encouragement.  Din fusses with the child’s clothing, making sure his collar is arranged just so. 

“Time to see if we can make it right with her.” 

You’ve found a lot of peace in the handful of years since the Mandalorian left you. You are an excellent gardener and skilled trapper, and trade with the locals several kilometers away for everything else you need twice a year. Your previous life was anything but tranquil, so to exist in your own little corner of the galaxy undisturbed was a dream. 

You stopped thinking about him a long time ago. 

Alright, that’s a lie. You stopped waiting for him to come back a long time ago and buried the hurt that he left in his wake deep under the surface. 

You still think about him from time to time, much to your chagrin. You think about the way the galaxy has pushed your lives together twice now before pulling you apart, and you scarcely allow yourself to wonder if it will push you together again. Kriff, you don’t even know where he is or if he’s alive. He’s a bounty hunter, they don’t usually last too long in the cold, hard reality of the universe. 

What hurts worse, to think that he’s dead or to believe that he just chose not to come back to you? 

These thoughts invade your mind as you sweep your front stoop, fighting a losing battle against the leaves that are turning brown and falling from the trees that surround your house. They’re a reminder that another cold season is coming, and you need to finish getting ready. 

Off in the distance, you hear the loud mechanical whooshing of a very fast ship. It screams to a stop and quickly descends into the small clearing, just past the tall trees. You drop your broom and dash into your house, emerging quickly with your blaster rifle. You hear twigs breaking in the woods ahead and raise the rifle. Through the scope, you start to make out a form. 

A very shiny form. 

The tall man clears the treeline and upon seeing a blaster rifle trained on him, spins his bag around to his back and puts his hands up. 

“Don’t shoot. It’s me.” 

You drop the rifle to your side in shock. It feels like every muscle in your body is frozen, and your lungs can’t possibly pull in enough oxygen to stay conscious. You’d recognize that voice in a cacophony of a thousand voices. It’s him. It’s kriffing him. 

You’re speechless, years of words getting jumbled up and stuck in your throat. You try to remind yourself that you can breathe, that you can feel the ground beneath your feet, and that your eyes are not playing a cruel trick. You know this because the shiny beskar man is slowly walking towards you, hands still raised towards the heavens. 

He stops about five yards from you and lets his hands drop to his sides, confident that you’re probably not going to shoot him at this moment. 

He shouldn’t be so sure. You don’t know what you’re feeling, and you’re not convinced that violence is off the table just yet. 

“Hi,” he offers lamely. 

You clear your throat, determined to find your words. The blood that felt like it ran cold when you saw him suddenly boils in your veins. “All this time apart and this is all you have to say? Hi? Hi, Mando,” you say sarcastically. Anger drips from your voice, and you hope he doesn’t notice the pain that ripples through your words and makes tears prick in the corners of your eyes. You don’t wait for another monosyllabic utterance from him, turning on your heel and storming into your house. 

The reverberation of the door slamming seems to knock the tears free, those hot tears of anger, pain, and disbelief. You don’t even bother to wipe them from your cheeks as you curl up in your comfy chair in the corner of the den, right by the fireplace. The fireplace where he touched you for the first time and held you as though you mattered to him. 

No. You shake the image from your head. You can’t do that right now. 

You hear the creaking of the door and the soft footsteps of a very hesitant Mandalorian. He stands just a few feet from you, close enough that you can hear his shallow breaths through his helmet. Close enough that you can smell that familiar smell that lingered on your pillows and in your heart for weeks. 

He’s silent, somehow more stoic than ever. 

Fine. You’ll talk. 

“What are you doing here, Mando? Come to hide out again and then slink out in the middle of the night when you’re done with me?” 

He just stares at you, the faceless stare that right now makes you want to scream. 

“Listen, you came to me, Mando. You’d better start saying something, and fast. Say something. Anything!” you demand, your voice getting louder with each word. You’re so angry and devastatingly hurt that you don’t know what to feel. The first time he left, he was just your friend that had helped you out of a bad situation. When he left you the second time, he was so much more. A ghost that had left indelible marks on your heart. 

“You know my name,” he says simply. 

You hang your head. “Dank farrik, Din. What do you want from me?” You bury your face in your hands and will yourself to wake up from whatever nightmare this is. 

Din walks over and takes a knee in front of you, bracing his hands on either side of the chair but very careful not to crowd you. You look up at him, red-rimmed eyes still brimming with tears. 

“I need to make amends,” he says softly. “I hurt you, and it’s been killing me. I’m so sorry.” His voice aches and you think for a moment he could actually mean what he says. He never apologized back when you met him, opting instead to simply shrug his shoulders and move on. The only time he’s ever said I’m sorry was in the note he left for you, ages ago. 

Your knee-jerk reaction is to reassure him that it’s fine, that you’re fine, and to sweep it under the rug and offer him a plate of food. That’s how you were raised. But you know you need to stand up for yourself, especially for the version of you that woke up alone in your bed that morning. 

“What you did, Din? It’s not okay. I hear you, and I know I owe you my life. But you just left me. You left me. Didn’t I deserve a goodbye in the morning, at the very least?” 

The tension between your bodies feels like it might snap like a rubber band, emotions pushed to the brink and crackling between you. Din tilts his head and you brace yourself for an excuse, but then - 

“A-pa?” A little voice cuts through the silence. Din reaches around behind him and pulls a satchel to his front, making your mouth fall open with surprise. Big black eyes above a little toothy smile stare back at you.

“Who…is this?” you ask quizically, the tension slipping from your body. This cute little creature immediately makes your heart warm a tiny bit. 

Din takes the child out of his little pouch and rests him against his knee. “This is my foundling. He’s been in my care for some time now. His name is Grogu,” he offers thoughtfully. You know what it means for him to share names, especially for someone who is very clearly so special. Your heart thaws just a tiny bit more. He’s trying. 

You offer a finger to Grogu who grips it tightly with his little hand. A wave of reassurance washes over you, like the feeling of opening the window and feeling the spring breeze for the first time. He giggles, a tinkling little sound that only babies seem to be able to produce, and you smile back at him. Your tears dry immediately. 

“Hi, Grogu,” you greet him, giving him your name in return. You look back at Din, still kneeling in front of you, and you take pity on him. “Go sit down on the couch before your knees give out on you. That left one was already bad years ago.” 

You can see a subtle sigh, just a brief exhalation, before he sits down on the couch. Grogu wiggles out of his grasp, his face pulled together with concentration, before hopping down and toddling back over to your feet. He hugs your leg and looks up at you, making little gurgling noises that are clearly a request to be held. You check with Din, who gives you a single nod, before picking Grogu up. The little squeals of joy as you bounce him up and down in your lap make you grin. 

“He likes you,” Din observes, and he’s grateful that you can’t see his facial expressions under the helmet. It makes his heart want to explode out of his chest, watching the scene before him. 

“He’s a sweet little thing,” you murmur. You consider your next words very carefully. Din, to his credit, can tell that you need a moment to think now that emotions are not running so high. You clear your throat. “So why are you here, hm?” 

“A lot has happened since I last saw you, and more is about to happen. I felt like this was my chance to come see you and see if…” his voice trails off. 

“See if what?” 

“See if you would forgive me.” 

You sigh. How do you even begin to process everything that’s going on in your head? Your emotions are still swirling around in your mind and your heart, even though you feel better with the baby in your hands. It’s a funny sort of feeling when the past comes back to haunt you, especially when it’s a part of you that you thought was dead and buried long ago. As you think about where to begin untangling the web, Grogu nuzzles up against you and settles in your arms. His eyes close and he’s asleep in an instant, little snores escaping his lips. You hold him in your arms, heart feeling inexplicably full. 

“I need you to actually tell me what the kriff happened. From the beginning,” you say firmly but gently. 

Din doesn’t settle into the couch or even relax his shoulders. From his stiff perch, he begins. Long pauses stretch between his words. “After that mess with Ran, I wasn’t…that wasn’t me. I think it was who I was supposed to be, who I was raised to be. You were kind to me and I didn’t deserve it. You let me…be with you. And I didn’t deserve it. I spent the whole night thinking about how you deserved someone who was as good as you are. I’m not…I wasn’t good.” 

His pause draws on so long that you wonder if he’s done speaking entirely. But you let the silence breathe between the two of you, not pressing him. Just waiting. 

He finally continues. “I didn’t know how to be that man for you, and I fell into the routine. Bounties, credits. Flying the galaxy looking for the next Guild job. It wasn’t until him,” he motions to Grogu with his head, “that I think I finally realized what I was supposed to be. He made me…good.” 

You feel on the verge of tears again, not for yourself but because of the rawness of Din’s words. Your broken Mandalorian who you imagined over the years to be a ruthless, heartless scoundrel is actually none of those things. Except for maybe one part. 

Your Mandalorian, you realize. He’s still yours, after all this time. 

“Oh, Din,” you breathe out with a sad sigh, “What happened to you out there?” 

“Too much,” he replies sadly. “I can tell you more, but let’s get one thing straight before anything else is said.” 

You look at him quizzically, prepared for the worst.

“You said that you owe me. For saving your life. That is a debt I would never come to collect. Besides, you’ve already paid it back ten-fold. You don’t owe me anything,” he declares in a strong, steady voice. “I owe you more than you know.” 

Grogu stirs in his sleep, little brows furled. “Will he be alright if I put him in my bed? I’ll put lots of blankets and pillows around him, he won’t fall,” you assure Din. He nods again, his gaze following you as you walk Grogu into the next room, muttering reassurances to the child in your arms. When you return, Din is standing in the middle of the living room. 

You stop in your tracks. Panic immediately settles deep in your bones. “You’re leaving again.” 

“What? No,” he reassures you quickly. “Can you…can you come here?” 

He holds out his hand to you, no gloves in sight, and you take the three steps towards him with only a moment’s hesitation. You slip your hand in his and he pulls you in towards him. He rubs his thumb over your knuckles before slipping his hand from yours. 

“I need you to see something,” he says in a quiet voice, like the most serious secret shared between friends. 

He curls his hands around the chin of his helmet, and lifts up. 

Time stands still as you watch with wide eyes the slow progression of Din revealing himself to you. You feel like you should cover your eyes or wrench them tightly closed, almost like your eyes are straying too close to a bright sun. But Din wants you to see him, you remind yourself. 

He doesn’t say anything as he sets his helmet down gently on the little table next to the couch, before turning to face you. He doesn’t look away, deeply opaque chocolate brown eyes locking with your own. He’s obscenely handsome, and maybe if he had grown up with his face exposed to the galaxy he would have become vain. 

But he’s not. He’s just Din, vulnerable before you. 

You take his hand in yours again, giving it a little squeeze of reassurance. “Why?” you wonder, no other words necessary. Why this? Why you? Why now? 

“I broke my Creed, for the kid. We had to say goodbye for a while, but he is my family and I thought he deserved to see. Watching you hold him, thinking about everything…I think you are just as important. You’re my family too,” his eyes shine with tears that he won’t let fall. 

You lift a hand to his cheek, letting your fingers rest against his skin so lightly he barely feels it. His eyes slip closed as he leans into your touch, letting the tension fall out of his shoulders. It’s the first real indication of relaxation that he’s displayed since he walked back into your life. You stand there in silence as one moment rolls into another, the years of separation bleeding away. 

His eyes open, and he only sees you smiling softly back at him. You drop your hand from his cheek, but keep a tight grip on his other hand at your sides. “Hi, Din,” you say, mirroring your greeting from earlier. This time there isn’t a drop of sarcasm or anger. 

“Hi,” he says softly. “It’s…nice to look at you without the helmet in the way.” 

You tilt your head and smile. “It’s nice to look at you without the helmet in the way, too. Although I could always see you, Din. Helmet or not.” 

His jaw clenches. “That’s part of why I left. I thought you would see me for who I really was.” 

“I do see you for who you are,” you tell him. You open your mouth to say something else, but you’re cut off by the swift press of his mouth against yours. It’s gentle at first, his soft lips ghosting against yours. You pull away, just a little bit, but he chases you and kisses you more deeply. It’s a little clumsy and passionate, years of build-up leading to a moment you never thought you would have with him.

His free hand rests on the small of your back, keeping you flush against him. It’s overwhelming with how tender he is being with you, handling you as though you might slip from him at any moment. 

Your hand fits in his like you were made for each other; two pieces of a puzzle sliding together. 

After moments stretch into beautiful minutes, tongues exploring and swallowing each other’s moans, you break apart. Panting slightly, he rests his forehead against yours. You get the strangest feeling of déjà vu, a brief flash of a memory you didn’t know you possessed of his cold helmet pressing against your forehead the morning he left. 

“Can I…can I have you? Please?” he begs you in a ragged voice.

You want him so badly that your body feels like it hums in reponse to his question, however you hesitate. “Not if you’re going to leave me again,” you confess, heart on full display. You need to know that if he chooses you in this moment, he is choosing you after this moment too. 

He runs the back of knuckles along your jaw before capturing your chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t want to leave you. I want you to come with me.” 

Your brain swirls with questions that you just can’t process. You close your eyes and shake them out of your head. “Just kiss me again, Din. We can figure out the details later.” 

Din kisses you with wild abandon, enveloping you in his embrace and his kiss and his scent. He is everywhere, invading every sense that you possess. Clothes are quickly shed and he has the good sense to pull a quilt from the couch to throw on the floor before lowering you down underneath him. Your back will wish that you hadn’t put Grogu in your bed when the morning rolls around, but for now you couldn’t care less if you tried. 

His mouth is on you again, on every inch of skin that he can reach, hungerly making up for a decade of kisses he’s wanted to give you. He trails down your neck, across your sternum where captures one of your breasts in his mouth. You arch into him, nails dragging across his back and leaving red marks in their wake. As he moves across your body you hear him whisper apologies and promises into your skin. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I won’t ever leave you.” 

“I belong with you.” 

After minutes of his explorations, you pull him back up to you. His eyes are wild, pupils blown wide with lust and the overwhelming sensation of being able to use his mouth like this. Holding his gorgeous face between your hands, you echo his words back:

“I belong with you. Din, I forgive you. I forgive you.” 

He buries his face in the crook of your neck and stills. You hold him to you, content in the way his weight rests on your body. In this instant, you realize that you really would go anywhere with him because…you need each other. After all these years alone, you didn’t think you would ever need anyone. You were happy living like this, after the pain of Din leaving had faded. 

But here, breathing in and out with him, it all becomes clear. 

Two puzzle pieces sliding together. 

“I love you,” you whisper into his ear. 

“I love you,” he whispers against your skin. “I need…I need to be inside of you. Do you want my fingers first?” 

“No, please, just…inside. Now, please, please,” you babble as he lines himself up at your entrance and eases in. You watch his face contort with pleasure, relishing every second that you get to see his reaction. He’s tender with you, taking as much care as he can since he didn’t prepare you to take his cock like he normally would like to. 

Gods, he just needs to be in you. As deep as possible. 

When he’s fully seated inside of you, moans escape both of your lips. “Dank farrik, you’re so big. So deep, baby. Move, move. Move,” you beg with desperatation in your voice. Din draws out of you, just enough so slam back into you once, twice, threw times. Your pussy clenches around him and he stutters.

“T-this will be over before it begins if you do that again,” he warns you, and you smile at him. 

“You just feel so kriffing - oof - good, Din,” you shudder at how good it feels when he snaps his hips against yours. He coos praise at you throughout, telling you how good you’re taking him and how long he’s thought about doing this with you again. 

When he tells you to rub your clit until you come for him, you eagerly obey. As you flutter around him, he asks where he should come. “Inside,” you cry out. He eagerly obeys. 

**

After he cleans you both up, you lie together in front of the fireplace, quilt draped over you. You happily use his chest as a pillow, throwing one leg over his. He can’t stop pressing his lips to your hairline, addicted to the feeling of his lips on you. After some time spent in comfortable silence, you turn to look at him. 

“So, are you ready to tell me what’s next?” you ask him gently, no longer anxious about the answer. 

He takes a deep breath. “I must seek redemption in the living waters beneath the mines of Mandalore. Atonement for breaking my Creed. There are…other things as well. I have responsibilities that I need to tend to. It might be a little dangerous.” 

Your eyes flutter closed, soaking in the weight of his words. Of course it wouldn’t be easy - it never is with Din. “Do you want to leave your son with me?” you offer, trying to alleviate he stress he clearly feels. 

“Absolutely not. I’m not leaving him, or you, behind. You both stay with me,” he declares. He clears his throat. “My family stays with me.” 

“No leaving each other behind?” you ask. 

“No leaving each other behind,” he confirms. 

**

[nevereverlandboys]

Drunken in charge

A/N: So I already posted this on wattpad a while ago. I was busy with learning for my exam, but now I finally managed to edit everything so I can post it on tumblr for those who don't read in wattpad

If you want to get tagged for my oneshots DM me ❤

Pairing: Ouat Felix x Reader

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, fingering, oral, unprotected sex, consuming of alcohol, swearing, really unrealistic sex scene lol, unprotected sex

Summary: Felix is being left in charge for the camp while Pan is absent, so games are off along with every other game. What is there else to do than drink? The second in command uses this opportunity to finally get closer to the reader after being so distant for a long time.

word count: 9968

The Island was harsh and cruel to everyone in an unfair but equal way. Even though the lost boys lived free on Neverland, they still were ruled by the mischievous leader named Peter Pan. Each of them had their own suffering they would not mention to anyone, rather feel the pain alone and the loneliness followed them with every step. But if someone caught Y/N's eye the most, it was the quiet second in command, Felix. He always stayed close to his leader and would always follow his command. His cold facade never told her a single thought, making him special in his own way. He would leave the girl alone and only joined her on missions, but even then, the second in command would remain quiet. Pan on the other hand, tormented Y/N with thousands of useless tasks, while the lost boys worked on their own duties that seemed to make way more fun. No matter how hard she tried, Y/N would never fit in the group of lost boys, their name alone excluded her. None of them treated her fair, always left her out and acted like she was their servant. At first, the boys all seemed curious, and also a little intrigued about her appearance. They wondered why the shadow brought a girl to Neverland and if she would stay forever or just for a while. Their vicious behavior scared her off the first days, keeping her distance in a small tent. There was nothing special about Y/N, and she wondered why Pan brought her here from the beginning. Soon they boys learned that as well, treating her harshly like everybody else. They mocked her for being too weak, being too emotional,- they mocked her for not being a boy. After a while Y/N stopped asking questions and simply agreed to her new life. There were many good things to mention, nothing here was all bad. No one cared about her exploring the island during the day, at least if she did not go too far. If she wanted to cook for herself, there was no one in the way, and if she wanted to read in her tent, they would not enter- also because she was definitely sure Pan forbat it. The lost boy's feared and loved their leader at the same time, the way he let them live the free life they always wanted and not even seeing how dangerous it could be had convinced them. Y/N had distanced herself from them and their cruelty, rarely appeared to any big occasion and rather traveled along the river that ran it's way through the meadow and pastures. It was a surprise when one boy asked her one day to join a game, leaving her startled and unable to answer since no one ever really attempted to talk to the girl. It woke a piece of hope inside her, some of the younger boys already liked Y/N, yet, there was always something suspicious around the older ones.

"C'mon!" The thin boy yelled excitedly and waved his hands through the air, gesturing to follow him.

"This will be fun!"

Y/N avoided the demanding boy and tilted her head while her eyes wandered through the group before they stopped at the second in command, his eyes already burning on her skin when she detected him on his log, not far. His gaze made her nervous, uncomfortable and she questioned the decision to join the game. Something inside her shook the thought off, that Felix would approach her one day for some other reason than Pan made him, or that he would ask her to join a game.

"No…" Y/N answered nervously and looked back to the lost boy, trying to ignore Felix in the back. She did not trust that boy the slightest.

"I have to clean the kitchen." She  lied and dropped her gaze to the ground. The boy left as quickly as he came, not even trying to convince her further as if the interest was faked like everything else on this Island. After a while she sat alone in silence, watching the smaller boys play with sticks and some older ones preparing some meat and stickbread for the bonfire. The feeling of being watched did not let go. Y/N tried her best not to look suspicious and quickly let her eyes wander further when she found the guilty boy, Felix. 

Why is he still staring at me?

She never found out. The boy stayed exactly where he was and so did Y/N. He would constantly steal a glimpse and for a moment goosebumps spread all over her body, as butterflies rumbled in her stomach. A few days went on and she had catched the second in command staring at her over and over again. Whenever she looked at him, he quickly shifted his eyes somewhere in hope not to be catched. Sitting at the dining table she would catch him, when she did the laundry or cooked in the humble kitchen. The lost boy woke some curiosity inside the girl, the urgent need to know why he would always steal a glimpse, whenever she walked by. He never slipped a nasty comment, definitely strange compared to the other lost boys and their vivid temper. He never approached her or tried to keep up a conversation either. As soon as the sun went down, Pan appeared in front of Y/N's tent, calling her to come out and get some firewood. His second in command stood not far, leaning against the bark of a tree and chewing on a toothpick. He didn't need to wait for his leader's command, already knowing he had to join her. 

"Be quick." Pan ordered sternly, pressing his brows together before strutting back to the other boys. Her eyes instantly shifted over to the lanky, blonde boy, a smirk plastered on his pale face. If Pan knew that this was not a good idea? Felix turned on his heels and led the way through the trees uphill where the bushes covered the edges down to the abyss, not looking back once.

"C'mon, girlie." He said.

'Don't call me that!' She snapped back and paced up. The lost boy's camp disappeared on the ground, the higher Y/N followed the path before Felix stopped in front of a dark forest, the leaves swallowing every light before it could touch the ground. 

"Princess." Felix corrected cockily, watching her step between the trees. She started to blush and was unable to say something, so she decided to simply ignore the giant boy's nickname for her, no matter how flattering his words seemed. She tried to act tough, tougher than she actually was, in hope he would recognise it.

"How in the hell should we get wood in the dark?' Y/N mumbled as she stared into the pitch black.

"Are you scared?" Felix teased and gave her a smirk. His voice was deep and rough, unsettling but still going like honey through her ears. The girl scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, then led the way with firm steps, not even seeing the ground and suddenly tripping over into a mess of wood. 

"Fuck!" She hissed and held her hands to check the unbruised skin. The lost boy started to laugh darkly to himself, before he stepped closer. 

"This wood is full of chunks." Felix explained and bent down to pick up the wood. Y/N rose to her feet and grabbed some wood, not saying another word. Felix remained silent as well, heading with heavy back to the camp. After a while he stopped and turned, watched if she could catch up and continued when the girl was close enough. All the time she wanted to talk to him, using the moment all alone with him, but as she hurried to follow the second in command, no single idea for a conversation came to her mind. It was like someone wiped every thought away and replaced it with the heavy drumming of her heartbeat. As soon as she reached the clearing, Felix dropped the wood onto the ground and left them for the other boys to take care of it. Her chunks landed right next to his and she paced up to catch up with the gloomy second in command, when a tight grip on the girl's wrist stopped her. 

"Where do you think you're going?"

Y/N tilted her head and faced Dave, a tall chubby boy with messy brown hair, his eyes dark and soft like marbles. The lost boy looked like a bear, warm and welcoming, nevertheless it were his words that often scared her off. He only had nasty comments for Y/N, threats and if Pan wouldn't protect her for being a weak girl, the lost boy would probably harm her physically as well.

"The potatoes won't cook themselves!" Dave barked and pushed her harshly away before his eyes wandered over to the kitchen tent. Y/N bit her tongue to stop slipping a nasty comment, marched over to the humble kitchen and let out a growl when she saw the mess inside. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She whined as her eyes wandered over the dirty pots and Pan's, knives and forks along with every spoon. At least it was not stinking and disgusting, easy to wash, yet an avoidable effort if every boy would clean after themselves. But why should they? They had Y/N. Deciding to only clean the essential goods and shoving the other things aside, she opened a little basket with potatoes in it and placed them on the little counter. Like she expected, no one came to help her during the cooking, only one boy showed up to ask if she could hurry up. The same boy did not even thank her when she finally gave them the cooked potatoes half an hour later. The selfish behaviour of these boys was the thing Y/N hated most, more reason to focus on the second in command, the only boy who had never shown her this nasty attitude. While every other boy slowly gathered around the bonfire after they ate, Felix stayed where he was. He did not dance like the others and Y/N was not even sure if he could hear what the boys claimed to hear. Pan once said, his flute was special and the girl was supposed to hear her too. None of them had an explanation, still, it did not seem like the first time for Pan, seeing something like this. 

The girl's eyes darted back to Felix, his eyes already burning on her skin and she instantly moved her head to make it look less obvious. The tempting idea of walking over to him burned inside her guts, but with all those boys around, she was like being frozen in place. The second in command never talked to her when it was not necessary, not even one muscle in his face twitched when he interacted with the others. Still, something inside Y/N pulled her towards him from the beginning, as if his attempt to block her out was even more tempting. When she distanced herself from the bonfire back to her tent, Felix stayed at his seat instead of following her like she had imagined he would do. A little disappointed she went to bed and kept twirling all her thoughts around the mysterious second in command. There were so many questions about him. No one ever understood Felix, maybe not even Pan, although they were closer to each other than no one else on this whole Island.  

The following days Pan left Felix in charge, going on a mission by himself. The absence of Neverland's leader made itself noticeable first, when the lost boys stopped playing their big games and went directly to their duties, almost no words slipping from their usually loud mouths as they worked in silence. The day had started boring for everyone on it, Pan was already away for a few days, so Felix was fully in charge. Games were off, along with parties and especially dances in the evening. If Y/N could tell, the dances were the most annoying thing to the second in command, the thing he hated the most. Felix did not like the idea of taking care of anybody else but himself. So it came that even after weeks, Y/N had barely exchanged some words with him. He would simply avoid her and in case of sharing a task, just stare at her in curiosity. It was a lie to say he did not make her nervous, even when it was not in a scary way. The second in command was weird in any way and whenever he built himself up in front of her, she and broad, he made her look even shorter than she actually was. A feeling almost pleasant instead of scary. It was like something pulled her towards the cold lost boy, but the lack of courage would not let her talk to him. If he felt the same?

Felix was intimidating to look at, it was like something was wrong with his face but Y/N could never tell what. His high pitched cheeks were sharp and narrow and there was an awful scar running along his left cheek up to his brows like an 'x'. The most creepy things were his eyes though, whenever she looked into them, she was willingly drowning in a cold puddle that dragged her deeper in. They pierced her, as if he knew every secret inside the girl's head. Nevertheless, he was not ugly, rather pretty to look at. When his blonde hair hung messy over his face and the way he smelled. Whenever she walked past him, she would smell pinewood and musk. Even though he was well known for his cruelty, the lost boy never raised his hand against Y/N, nor called her nasty things like the others did. She was not even sure on how to do it anyways. Felix always looked busy or like he did not want anyone to speak to him. When she thought of it, the girl could not remember one single boy really talking to the second in command except Pan, but then again,- they only talked about plans and other secrets. He was a mystery of his own, a riddle for Y/N to solve. She glanced over to him and saw that he was carving something into a piece of wood. The lanky lost boy had distanced himself from the other boys, having his seat on a log as closest to the forest as possible. Maybe she could strike a conversation about his passion for carving? He was doing that almost everyday without talking about it and when she thought about it, she had never seen the final results. After a while, courage overcame her, so she stood up and walked slowly into Felix's direction, already noticing in the corner of her eyes the disapproving and concerned looks of some boys. They started to talk quietly to each other and she instantly knew it was about her. Their eyes burned more on Y/N's skin with each step further towards Felix, making her feel nervous and jumpy. Rolling with her eyes at them, she still marched to the lanky blonde boy, stopping when she was close enough to him. The heads of the lost boys instantly shot away, as if they felt too scared to let Felix know about their curiosity when he lifted his heavy head from his broad shoulders.

Felix's eyes darted up, his mouth shut tight and his facial expression went blank like always. His look told Y/N that he was strong, but never how he felt. She tried to say something, but the words got stuck in her throat. Unable to speak, she stared with a deadpan face back at the second in command, trying to find an excuse for her behaviour. The idea with the wood seemed so dumb suddenly and she wished she could just melt into the ground or simply disappear as the lost boy stared back at her, locking their eyes and waiting for her to say something.

"Have you seen Pan?" Y/N choked out and sounded calmer than she expected to be. The blonde boy raised an eyebrow suspiciously and nodded behind him into the dark forest. Big trees hovered high up into the sky, all around the clearing, hiding every view. It was pitch black. Y/N swallowed at the sight of the dark woods and she shook her head slowly, feeling so scared of the unknown dangers. There was no reason for her to see Pan, the leader was not a pleasant person himself and the lie only made her more anxious. 

"I think it wasn't important anyways." She mumbled unsure and turned around, feeling how her whole face heatened up at the fact that she talked to the mysterious second in command. Suddenly, the tall boy grabbed her by the wrist, causing her to turn and face him again.

"I'll bring you to him, if you feel scared to go alone." He said dry and rose to his feet, tall and intimidating. The girl was so small next to him, peeking up to him again as her limbs lightly started to tremble. Felix glanced down at her and again, she shook her head slowly. The girl did not know if he simply did not notice it, but when the lost boy shoved her into the pitch black, terror overcame her. What was he doing? Not daring to say a word, before the light around her vanished, she only felt the lost boy's hand on her back as he pushed her gently forwards. Her heart was pounding so hard, she feared he might feel it. Where the hell would he bring her? Where was Pan all the time? 

"Don't." Y/N winced and turned on her heels, running past Felix back into the camp. The lost boy instantly jumped around and stormed after her, chasing her across the clearing towards some big trees. She tripped over one of their big roots, almost crashing down but still finding her balance. This was the moment Felix jumped at the girl, crashing down with her, his heavy weight pressing the air out of her lungs. The lost boy spun her around and pinned her arms down on the floor before she could take a sharp inhale. Y/N tried to free herself in panic, but she could not move at all, when the slender boy straddled her and held her down. The colours in Y/N's  face faded away and her heart pumped wild inside her as if it were about to explode, unable to tell if she felt excited or scared. Maybe a healthy mix of both. She was sure he did not want to hurt her. Frankly, he never did.

"Why in the hell are you running from me." He asked angry, slightly confused and she thought even a bit hurt as he pressed his brows strictly together. 

"Don’t hurt me." She muttered and the pale boy frowned. He loosened his grip and swiftly rose to his feet and pulled his hood back over his head, then strutted quickly away, not even giving her a last glance. 

That was strange, she thought. Her heart was still beating furiously. What happened? The lost boy scared her and made her feel like burning at the same time. She took a deep breath and raised to her feet, wiping the dirt off her clothes. Felix was a strange guy and he only confused Y/N. Why did he just stand up and leave? She was not dumb and clearly could add two and two together. But it could not be that the second in command had some interest in her, why should he? The boy barely spoke to the girl, even when they had chores together. Y/N remembered one of the first days, when Pan sent them both to get some dreamshade and the tall blonde did not even let her near one of those plants, not even mentioning why. When he held the filled glasses, the boy walked a big distance between her back to camp, giving her the feeling of not being wanted. Later she had learned the dangers of it and Felix's strange behaviour now. It was an easy addition but she needed to be sure, not even knowing how to deal with this information.

If I am right.

The next day Felix clearly avoided her. Whenever he felt like she was too close, the lost boy would quickly find another place to go. She did not want to ask any of the boys about it, not wanting them to know, but it was obviously something off. They would not answer her anyways, only giving her questioning looks. After that weird situation in the evening before, the second in command completely vanished. There was no big effort to look for him and when the girl went to bed, she completely forgot about him. He had not given her any duties yet, so she took her chance and left the camp to take a shower and later gather some fruits and seeds, everything edible the Island would offer her without having to kill. She did not know how to hunt and was not sure if she could even catch an animal. Peter once told her that his best man would teach her to hunt, but Felix always seemed to be so busy that she simply never asked him to. At first she had avoided the blonde, lanky boy, not knowing his temper. He had scared her so much but now she could not stop thinking of how he had straddled her and how much she liked it. This was stupid. She barely knew Felix and still Y/N pictured herself with him in so many daydreams now. It was always easier to dream about someone and she was not crazy enough to consider anything about the rough boy. But where would he be? What is he doing right now? God, she needed to stop thinking about Felix. She was overthinking. 

The time passed by and Y/N found herself at the clearing again, watching two boys fight in the distance, with a small crowd around to cheer their violence. Her eyes wandered over the whole area, searching for the second in command. He sat far away next to a few older lost boys that hollered around while drinking some rum. Since Felix would not let them do anything, the only possible solution for the boys was to drink and do stupid things that would not bother the tall scarred one. They were drinking more alcohol than any adult could ever handle. The girl's eyes shifted over the group, seeing how they stumbled and swayed around. Felix sat on a log with his own bottle of rum in his hands, he kept his distance from the other boys, observing them with a blank expression but it was visible that he was drunk, too. When he saw Y/N entering the camp, the second in command's head spun around, meeting her gaze and she could swear his face lightened up.

"Y/N!" Someone big yelled excitedly and jumped at her from the side, almost swaying her off her feet before she could even think of the name "Felix".

"Drink with us!" The chubby boy cheered with a dizzy voice. His dark, bushy eyebrows hung deep over his small eyes and he wrinkled his nose, making a nasty, slimy sound, reminding her of a mull. He was not pretty to look at, mean and vicious, sometimes insulting for no reason. He was that kind of a boy who would mock one and still complain when they did not want to be his friend. 

"No, tha-"

"DRINK!" The chubby boy repeated himself more aggressively and grabbed Y/N's wrist to stop her from leaving before she could even try getting away. His fat fingers would definitely leave a mark later as she furiously tried to yank herself  free.

"YOU ARE HURTING ME!" Y/N whined and buried her nails into his wrist, but the lost boy would not let go.

"It will be fun! Don't be such a lame ass." He gave back and tightened his grip. Felix, who had watched the whole scene from a distance, immediately jumped to his feet and stormed towards them, yanking the boy away and threw him violently into the mud. He gave him the most powerful kick that his anger would provoke, that the sound of the fat lost boy's scream caught everyone's attention. 

"I will snap your fucking neck!" Felix threatened so calmly that the other boys would not even hear it as he pressed his jaw together, his hands forming into fists that his knuckles turned white. The chubby moonface groaned dizzy and turned onto his stomach, trying to lift himself drunkenly out of the sludge. With a closer look, Y/N understood why they all called him Piggy, instead of Mull. He turned his head confused around before he would drop back onto the ground again. The girl's eyes widened at the sight of this cruelty, even though she felt relieved and maybe a little entertained to see Piggy like this. He truly deserved it. On the other hand, she wondered why Felix came so quickly to help after he had tried his best to get out of her way. Y/N's cheeks burned up and she knew it would be the perfect moment to talk to him.

"Go." Felix said. He turned to her and shoved her gently away from the boys towards the tents. His big hand warmed her comfortably on her back, waking the butterflies in her stomach and causing her to shiver. The second in command rested one one of his arms on the girl's shoulder to keep his balance as he swayed between the tall bushes forwards between the trees.

"You should go to sleep." The lost boy said huskily, stopping in front of her tent, his grey eyes staring at the closed curtains. The excitement inside Y/N turned into disappointment when she saw where this actually went, so she stared irritated at the tent as Felix pulled his arm away and stepped away, slowly heading back. 

"I am not tired!" Y/N gave back and knitted her brows together, confused why he just left her now. He could have stayed at the camp instead of joining her in the first place. Why come all this way up here? Felix's head spun around before turning back to stop right in front of the girl. He bent down to face her and made it possible to smell the alcohol in his breath as she stared into his gray eyes illuminated by the pale moonlight. The messy, ashen hair hung half over his face,- Y/N liked so many things about him and right now he was so perfect. He has never been that close before, except when he had tackled her.

"The boys aren't so well behaved," The second in command snickered. "Especially not in that state."

Y/N giggled when she thought of Felix acting like he was a good boy, after all those terrible things he did. There was a reason why he was second in command of this brutal gang and he proved it by the way he treated Piggy. 

"And you're not?" She gave back quite bravely, raising an eyebrow cockily. Felix chuckled low to himself, slightly shaking his head before he gave her a smirk, showing his white palette of perfectly lined up teeth.

"If you want me to," Felix purred and wiggled with his brows. "I'll be whatever you want."

The girl felt goosebumps spread all over her body at his words and for a moment, she just stared speechless back at him, unable to say a word and wanting nothing more than kissing those pink lips. Felix was drunk, he could not think straight and definitely did not mean what he said. The lost boy's breath tickled hers and she noticed how close he was and how she just had to lean in, to steal a kiss. There was no way she would risk it, well aware that Pan loved games and she could not let the thought go, his best man would love them as well. 

"Do you have any suggestions?" She asked as her nose touched his, her lips almost on his as she gently ran her hands over his chest. Felix ignored the question, moving instinctively and rough, grabbing Y/N's neck and pulling her in to close the distance between their mouths. His tongue was warm and tasted like liquor, still it did not bother her at all, when he vividly explored the inside of her mouth. Felix's hands vanished under her hair, grabbing her head and pressing the girl firmer against him while his intoxicated mind led his actions. Y/N gasped surprised into the kiss, not expecting him to do this even though it was what she wished for. Felix was way taller than her and for the moment he was forced to bend down at her height, holding her in his broad arms that pressed her tightly against his chest. When Felix’s pulled away, his eyes were still shut and he ran his thumb over Y/N's lips, licking his own and let out a gasp when he realised that he did not only imagined to do that. Then his eyes widened and she could see that he realised for the first time what just happened, what he just did.

"Sorry…" Felix mumbled unbelievingly and shook his head with widened eyes. He pushed her harshly away and rose to his feet, quickly checking full terror if someone had watched it.

"I was-" Felix spoke hoarse and slowly took a step back, then another one, a few more, until he turned on his heels and sprinted quickly away,  not finishing what he tried to say. 

Y/N stood there for a moment as if she were stuck in place, not able to process what just happened. With a swift movement she stormed through the curtains of her tent towards her bed to hide under the covers. She grabbed a pillow, held it against her face and screamed inside it. It was hard to tell if she felt excited or embarrassed. Felix kissed her, so why should she be worried about something? Maybe it was a test and she failed? Hell no, that would be some serious bullshit if that were the first explanation and she had seen his reaction. The way he held her and how he tasted heatened her up. Every cell inside her body craved for more.

No, what are you doing, she thought and shook her head, replaying that scenario in her head over and over again like a broken record. With a swift move she rolled onto her back and stared up at the curtain ceiling, hoping to find an answer to what her next step could be. If the lost boys would find out, they would never stop talking about it, maybe even start to think she was easy to have. Y/N gulped and squinted her eyes at the thought of them all trying to hit on her. Felix was different though. He was tall and intimidating, his cold stare would pierce through her with a burning desire and his smell intoxicated her mind. Whenever he was around, she could barely think straight, desperately wanting to figure out what laid beneath that cold facade. Never in a thousand years, she could have guessed that he liked her back. On the other hand, he was not able to make proper decisions drunkenly and maybe Y/N was encouraging herself too much. There was almost nothing she knew about the tall boy and falling for him that fast could only harm herself in the end. 

Y/N closed her eyes and brought her fingers to her lips, touching them, while imaging to feel Felix's on them again and remember what they tasted like. The second in command barely spoke to her and now that? There was definitely more behind it. It had to. Her other hand slowly wandered over her stomach to pull up the dress, slipping a finger inside to play with herself. It was not the first time she thought of him while touching herself, but this time something was off. Deep inside her something stopped Y/N, no matter how aroused she already was. She needed to talk to Felix. Under no circumstances she would let him ignore her for days again. Yanking the blanket away, Y/N jumped out of the bed and eagerly left the tent, turning her head furiously around to find the tall boy. He did not sit next to the others anymore and when she walked downhill to his cabin, she could feel her heart pumping furiously inside her chest. The girl stopped in front of the wooden door to knock and when no one answered she knocked again. 

"Felix!" She tried to be as loud as she could be while still not attracting someone else's attention. There was still no answer and she felt dumb for even thinking it was as easy as this to find him after the previous events. He could not be far, the lost boys still needed someone who had an eye on them before someone could get hurt. Their hollering was still audible and the bonfire in the distance let Y/N see a few of them behind the bushes. For a moment she thought of going back to the clearing again, hoping to find Felix there, but the thought of meeting Piggy alone now was no good. 

"Y/N." The girl suddenly heard Felix’s raspy voice behind her and she turned dazzled around, the warmest smile sitting on her lips. 

Felix swayed dizzily into her direction, closing the gap between them two while he tried to keep his balance. The lost boy's head was too high up, making it impossible to steal a kiss from him now. 

"What are you doing here? I told you to sleep." He asked nervously and pulled her away from his cabin towards the trees, his head constantly turning to look if someone watched. When he placed his hand on the girl's back again, his touch sent electric waves through her spine and she wondered how his slender finger would feel on her bare skin.

"Did you drink more?" She asked, noticing how he swayed more and the second in command vividly shook his head in response, grinning like a small boy on a sunny day. 

"You have."

"No."

"Yes."

"Uh-Uh."

"I can cleanly tell-"

"I am-," Felix grabbed Y/N gently by the back of her neck and pulled her in, his face coming closer again. "-Not. Drunk."

She started to laugh and leaned into his grip, bringing her own hand up to touch his scar. Felix's blue eyes melted when he felt her fingers, closing them and relaxing as her touch traced as light as a feather down his skin. He relaxed for a moment and enjoyed the touch on his scarred skin, before he suddenly woke out of trance.

"The boys better not see us." He cleared his throat and broke apart, letting go of her.

"No one saw us, Felix." His name echoed through the dark forest like honey and Y/N grabbed his hand tight- she was way smaller than his. The girl felt Felix's breath in her face, how his nose almost touched hers and before he could do anything she had already closed the gap between them two, pressing her lips against his. Felix moaned surprised into her mouth but instantly grabbed her cheeks and slid his tongue inside. She could still taste the liquor and wondered if she might have taken advantage of this situation. The tall boy's moans told her otherwise. He moved his hands slowly towards the girl's waist down to her ass, cupping it rough while her smell intoxicated his senses. 

"We shouldn't." He whispered and she heard him move even though it was too dark to see. Nevertheless Felix pressed himself harder against her and she felt through his pants how hard he already was from only kissing. 

"Why not." She breathed against his neck, leaving a trail of kisses.

"The boys," Felix said, his eyes rolling back with a soft moan when he felt her tongue on his throat. It was enough to convince the second in command, his fingers wandered over her delicate body, burying them inside her tender flesh. It's been a long time since someone touched Y/N and she could not resist the lost boy's demanding hands. He lifted her dress and wandered with his palm over her skin to the rim of the underwear, enjoying the small moans when his fingers wandered further to her inner thigh, drawing invisible circles on it.

"Felix…" His grip tightened when he heard the girl purr his sweet name in the most delicious way and he almost could not hold himself back to tear her clothes off right at this place. The lost boy dared to slip one of his fingers inside Y/N's panties and when she did not complain, he pushed his slender index inside of her, feeling how her soft walls tightened around him. If Felix had not realised it earlier, he knew at least by now how much she craved him when he felt how wet she already was. Y/N let out a gasp when he started to push his long finger in and out of her, causing the girl's legs to tremble and her knees to shiver in excitement. She closed her eyes, giving up trying to see something in the dark as she melted into Felix's arms, her face sliding down onto his shoulder. She found her balance by grabbing the lost boy's leg and then she realised that he was kneeling in front of her. Y/N was actually glad that the surroundings were pitch black, feeling her cheeks heating up in embarrassment from her uncontrollable sweet moans. Before she would absolutely lose her mind, the girl managed to push the lost boy slightly away from her while her hands moved down to his belt. Her fingertips ran over the leather and the lost boy instantly frowned at her touch, his whole body stiffened and he stopped moving for a second.  

"W-wait." He stammered, the adrenaline pushing the dizziness of the alcohol away. "I-I… never…" he continued and stopped, his hands wrapped around Y/N's wrist, insecurities overwhelming him as he held her in a safe distance. Now she really wished to see his face, well aware that he must look like earlier when he kissed her, startled and somehow shy.

"Well," she replied after a small pause, her voice echoing clear through the night, "Neither have I."

There was an awkward silence between them two and if the lost boy would not hold her by her hips, she would probably believe he was gone by now. The second in command was embarrassed for no reason, what did he fear? Y/N had no clue how to do this and if she was honest, it was way more appealing that Felix was a virgin, too, even though she did not expect that. All the time she thought he was so confident and now he was so vulnerable to her. The lost boy still did not speak, so she bent into another kiss, hoping to catch his lips in the dark. Felix gasped when he felt her lips on his scar and pulled the girl back in.  This was good, they did not need to talk- should not talk. It would only make this weird. Talking would come naturally. Felix grabbed Y/N's hands gently and brought them back to his belt for her to continue what she had started. She let her fingers trail over the leather to his buckle to open it, enjoying the moment when she opened the button of his pants and slowly pulled down his zipper. The lost boy moaned inside her mouth when she slid her hand into his pants, pumping his hardened cock as best as the tight cotton would allow her to. Felix noticed her struggle and broke apart from the kiss to lift himself up and take off his clothes. Y/N heard how each piece of clothing dropped onto the ground while she waited to be told to do the same. 

"Should I keep my dress on or-"

"Keep it on." Felix ordered and chuckled to himself, then pulled her back against him, his cock pressing against her stomach. The lost boy let his hands slide under the girl's dress and pulled down her panties for more access, then kneeled naked in front of her while his fingers did their magic. They felt so long and strange, making Y/N wonder if she could even handle Felix's cock. He already felt so big in her hand when she touched him again, fully exposed and hardened. The lost boy lifted one of her legs over his broad shoulder and before Y/N could even figure out what he was doing, Felix pressed his tongue against her clit. She let out a surprised gasp and giggled at the ticklish sensation. The lost boy felt how tense her leg was and reached for the girl's hand, holding it and drawing invisible circles on her palm. 

"Relax." He lifted his head and lightly squeezed her fingers, caressing it a little, then pushed his mouth against her slit, his hot breath warming her as his tongue slid over her clit. The comfort of his touch relaxed Y/N instantly as if the lost boy had enchanted her somehow. He pressed his rough tongue harder against her, burying his face between her legs as he ate her out. The girl could not control herself to keep her from moaning, but led the boy's pace with it, whenever something felt good. He buried his nails into the tender flesh of her thighs and with a swift move he pushed the girl down onto the ground, pushing his fingers faster into her. She could not tell which was tongue or fingers, the overflowing sensation spread inside her body up to her eyes as she felt how she got closer to her orgasm. When Felix’s jaw started to ache he broke apart, breathing heavily and leaving Y/N craving for more on the cold ground in the exact moment she would almost finish. Without saying a word the lost boy pulled himself up to her, placing some sloppy kisses on her mouth before placing his arms next to her, so that his weight would not be too much.

"I want you so much." He panted while he slowly let his thumb circle over her aroused clit. 

"Felix-" She pressed her lips onto his and stroked his hardened dick and pulled his torso closer to lead him to her wet entrance. The lost boy let out an uncontrollable moan as he pressed his dick against her dripping slit that already craved him so hard, slowly gliding in to make the girl feel every piece of his mighty cock. He stayed in this position for a moment to adjust this feeling and Y/N felt herself tighten around him, excitement overwhelming her body along with the smell of the lost boy intoxicating her mind.

"Fuck!" Felix hissed as he started to move in a steady motion. His lips caught her once more, pulling her into a long, passionate kiss. Y/N took a sharp breath and pushed her hand against his abdomen, when the lost boy moved, feeling like getting torn apart by him. The lost boy stopped for a moment, shoving one arm under her neck to hold her while his lips softly traced over her chest. After a short moment,  Felix moved again. Y/N buried her nails into his skin and rolled her eyes back as the lost boy thrusted into her core, slowly feeling herself relaxing in this position after a few strokes. The pain faded away and she melted into Felix's body as if he was meant to hold her. The sweetest words kept unsaid, too embarrassing, too emotional, still, there was something inside them both that felt more than just enjoying sex. It was Felix who took her virginity and the thought of being the one who took his let her heart skip faster. The second in command felt like a dream,- his sweaty, hot skin pressed tight against hers, his abs flexed and hardened during every move and he was just so fucking tall. Felix moved both of his hands down and cupped her naked butt, lifting Y/N up and pressing her against the bark of a tree. He buried his fingers into her tender flesh and left a trail of kisses on her neck as far as he would reach her. The lost boy held Y/N as if she weighed nothing, pressing her body tightly against his skin. She could not resist sinking her teeth into his neck, sucking on the delicate spot until she was sure he would not leave without a mark. As soon as Felix realised what she was doing, he pulled her head back by her hair. To his own surprise, she let out a light moan, feeling even more excited from his big hand in them. 

"The boys can't know." Felix purred into Y/N's ear before he licked over her neck, sinking his teeth lightly into her shoulder to hold him back from letting out another moan. 

"Harder!" The girl commanded for Felix's surprise, who had already thought he was already being too rough with her. The lost boy followed the order, pressing himself tighter against her before he paced up, pumping in and out. The sudden sensation flooded Y/N's body and she knew there was something building up inside her, an indescribable feeling of being high. Felix moans got higher, sometimes even stuck in his throat and she was sure he was close too and that he desperately wanted to climax. Before she could realise it, Felix swayed them back onto the ground, gripping her ankles and pressing them against his legs as she wrapped her arms around his neck to capture the lost boy in another kiss. 

"I am almost-" Felix spoke in a hoarse tone. It was so dark and Y/M really wished she could see his face at this moment. Felix was so vulnerable right now and even though his moans were the most beautiful melody in her ears, just the thought of a short glimpse of his face made her feel hotter.

"Felix." She purred when he suddenly hit a spot that would not stop making her feel like being on ecstasy. 

"I-." She gasped when the knot inside her stomach released and she felt her orgasm roaring through her body with thousands of tiny, electric waves. Jaw clenched and eyes pinched, Felix gave it to her in short, powerful bursts, filling her up with throbbing pumps. His abs flexed and his hands tightened around her ankles. He cursed. His body tensed, and she swore she felt his cock pulsing inside of her as he came in waves, thrusting in and out until he felt himself getting soft.

"Fuck…" Felix let her legs fall to the side as he bent to rest his head on her sweaty chest. "That was…"

She combed her fingers through his messy hair, almost out of words how incredibly good she felt. "That was something."

"Yeah." He kissed the spot between her breasts, "It was."

Felix pulled his dick out, not even seeing the mess he made but still wanting more. Neither of them wanted that night to end and for a while, Felix tried to find his clothes and Y/N thought of how she would clean herself up.

"C'mon." Felix whispered and she heard him step away. 

"Wait!" Y/N called and quickly grabbed her underwear- well, the only choice right now-, cleaning herself with it, before running after the tall blonde and crashing into his back.

"Easy, love." He chuckled and grabbed her under one of his arms and strutted towards the dark in one direction, knowing this place perfectly, even drunkenly and without light. 

"Where are we going?" The girl asked after what felt like an eternity for her, but in reality it was just a few minutes. The trees left some space for the moonlight now and gave her a chance to take a peak from the second in command's happy face. His cheeks were dyed a deep scarlet and his hair hung messy and full sweat down his face. 

"Trust me." He said and paced a little up before he came to halt in front of a big tree, the ladder up to it vanished behind some leaves. Felix climbed up first and lifted the girl up into the tree house when reached the trap door. Felix moved towards a small night desk and lit up a candle. As soon as the light flooded the room, Y/N saw the small cot and a self-made desk under one of the closed windows. 

"I built it myself." The lost boy grinned and proudly watched the awe in her face. She swirled around and looked at some little carvings that were placed on the wooden table. Some of them looked like her. When Y/N's eyes detected the little sculpture, she finally understood why she never saw the results and why he burned one earlier. The girl turned around to say something, but Felix stopped her immediately. Before she could say anything, Felix dropped down onto one knee and pulled her into a kiss. His tongue slid over her lips, begging for permission to enter. Without thinking about it, she opened her mouth and felt the lost boy's hand on her hips, pressing her against his body. 

"I never thought you would like me too." Felix moaned and eagerly kissed his way down her neck, back to her face and lips, repeating the same thing on the other side and showing how hungry he still was for the girl. Felix clearly had not been touched in a while, just like Y/N, so it was quite natural that they immediately would have a moment like this sooner or later. But why Felix? What was about him that made Y/N constantly crave more, causing her to feel like an addict without his drugs, whenever his lips left hers? Her cheeks heated up and she smiled in the kiss, thinking of the previous events, how Felix's hands felt on her skin. It was special to be with him and the girl's instincts told her that it was more than just sex, that Felix wanted more, too. 

"I want you again." Felix licked over his lips and looked at Y/N through half-opened eyes before he slowly melted back into another kiss, this time slow and passionate, synchronising with her while his hands moved down her hips and legs. He gently rubbed his hand against her inner thigh and wandered towards her crotch, to shove a finger inside her still wet hole. He smirked dirty when he felt his mess. Y/N wanted him so much, just like he craved her, maybe even a little more. 

"I want to get naked all night long." Felix purred as he pushed his fingers inside and out of Y/N, her light moans echoing in his ears. Without further commands, the girl slipped the dress over her shoulder, letting it elegantly slide down her now exposed body. Felix's cheeks flushed up into the deepest red, his eyes admiring every sight of her that he desired for so long, and truth be told, he was in awe. When the cotton touched the floor, the lost boy grabbed for the hem of his own shirt and ripped it off, then quickly unbuttoned his pants before he crossed them with his underwear through the room. When Felix pinned her down and pulled Y/N into another kiss, he was already hard again, his hot skin burning against hers as her mind drifted off into a feeling of ecstasy. The way Felix's hands trailed down her body gave her chills once more, kept her warm and made her feel wanted. 

"Pan would kill us for this." She mumbled into the kiss when the girl thought of how he protected her earlier, something he never did before and sure did not keep unnoticed to the other boys as well. It worried Y/N for a moment, thinking about how Pan always found out every secret, no matter how little it was. And this was definitely not a small secret, something that could be obvious to others. Or maybe Y/N was just paranoid. 

"Relax." Felix said, frowning at her words as if the same thought had bothered him for a while now, too. "He isn't here. He won't find out."

The blonde boy rolled over onto his back, pulling the girl with him so she would straddle him. The light of the candle danced over his sharp features, letting it shine in an orange light that spread down to his muscles, constantly catching her eyes as if they were glued on him. Felix always looked beautiful in the orange light of the fire. Every night she would catch herself staring at him. He was perfect. 

"You look so beautiful." Felix whispered more to himself than to her, then wiped some hair out of her face. "Unbelievable that someone like you chose someone weird like me."

Before Y/N could correct him, the second in command already captured her lips with his own, burying one hand in her hair while he kneaded one of her breasts with the other one. His words only flattered the girl and she felt the burning desire to finally be one with him again and melt into his body. Felix gasped at her touch and moaned into her mouth when she wrapped her hand around his dick, slowly pumping up and down while gently rubbing at the delicate tip. His member felt long and thick in her hands, but did not scare her off like earlier. Placing the tip at her wet entrance, she slowly slid down onto him, relieved that the lost boy did not push against back,. The stretching feeling made her feel like getting torn apart all over again and she  gave herself a moment to adjust to the size. The lost boy rolled his eyes back and shut them with a loud moan when he felt her walls tightened around, rubbing his thumbs against the tender flesh of her  hips, when she finally started to slowly move up and down. Seeing the ruthless second in command like this was really stunning and lovely to look at. Felix's mouth was slightly agape and the muscles on his forehead were constantly twitching, moving his eyebrows constantly around. Never had Y/N seen so much emotion in his face before. She  pressed her body against the lost boy and sucked at the tender part of Felix's neck. The lost boy used that moment as a chance to turn her over, holding Y/N tight in his arm, the other one holding his weight so he would not suffocate her while he was pumping in and out. Y/N moaned in ecstasy and ran her hands over his muscular back, feeling his skin against them and how his sweat dropped onto her body. She placed her legs on each side of his, clearly noticing the height difference and feeling like a delicate doll as he embraced her. Felix paced up and she rolled her eyes back when he entered in another angle to come even deeper. She never wanted this to stop and kept feeling how the lost boy filled her with his thick manhood, smelling his scent and feeling his hot skin burning against hers. Felix kissed his way down to her chest and caught one of her nipples between his lips, lightly starting to suck on them and intensing it with each time he thrusted in. These were the final strokes that caused Y/N's legs to shiver and tense up every muscle in her body as her climax roared through her whole body, up into her eyes into the back of her head. The lost boy grabbed Y/N's shoulders and when he came, too, the light of the candles danced in his beautiful, scrunched up face. It was a lie to say she did not like that view and the squeaking sound he made when Felix felt his orgasm deep inside her with throbbing pumps. Felix rolled next to the girl, trying to catch his breath and when he did so, he grabbed a towel from the bed for her. 

"We could have used the bed." Y/N broke the soothing silence after a while and Felix chuckled, then nodded in agreement.  

"Next time." He grinned, pulling his boxers up and placing himself back onto the ground. His eyes did not stop looking at the girl while she grabbed her dress and pulled it back over herself. For a long time they just looked at each other, laughing and giggling, kissing each other but remaining silent. This was clearly something none of them expected to happen. 

"What do you see in me?" Y/N suddenly asked, caughting the lost boy off guard, his facial expression went into full confusion. It took him a moment to think about her question before he simply smiled. His eyes would always melt at her sight and in that moment she needed no words from him to realise how much he was in love with her. The lost boy pulled Y/N closer to him and placed her head against his chest, lifted her on his arms and carried her to the bed where he would let himself fall onto the soft mattress. His legs hung over the wooden frame as he gently rubbed his hands over her back while listening to the beat of his heart. 

"I would never let anyone harm you." His voice was just a warm breeze on her earlobe, tickling her like a gentle kiss. 

"What about Pan?" She asked after a while and took a glimpse at his relaxed face and how her question did not seem to have woken any worries inside him now. He had brushed it off earlier.

"I think, actually, he knew way before me." Felix chuckled low and shook his head unbelieving. "He gave me a chance I got wasted."