#sirius and regulus will never be cis in my eyes

[she-atti-on-my-lyus]

i see your transfem sirius + transmasc regulus and raise you transfem regulus + transmasc sirius

[irrevocablecondition]

i think another thing worth adding to all the conversations is that my existence as a trans person in this fandom is not a form of protest. (under the cut because it's long)

i think it's easy to fall into the mindset that being in this space as someone from a community jkr has harmed is protest in and of itself. or that merely engaging with queer stories is an act of protest - "jkr would hateee what we write!", "jkr already hates me so-" etc etc but that doesn't alleviate the harm caused. that doesn't change the fact that all of this is relevance and promotion of her universe (esp over on tt) so,,, what actually is your act of protest?

i think it's important to recognise that jkr doesn't know us. she doesn't know me, she doesn't know you, she doesn't look at this space and consider the demographic of it (outside of potential promotions), she simply sees a group of people engaging with her works that could potentially be drawn back into profitting her (again, promotions - thinking here about the official HP tiktok queerbaiting). in her own words, when asked how she felt about losing a community from engaging, she replied: "i read my most recent royalty check and find that the pain goes away pretty quickly".

me existing as a trans person - both inside and outside of this space - is not a form of protest, it's just existing. my heart beating and continuing to beat throughoit everything is not an act of protest, it's me living.

me being trans is not a protest.

everything else? everything i do rather than everything i am? that's the protest.

it's just,,, coming off the back of all the tiktoks being made (which btw, endlessly thankful. sucks that now is the time but it's never Too Late to start talking about it and i'm thankful to everyone who has shouldered some of the weight over the last few days) i'm seeing a lot of comments like "but so many of the creators in this space are trans!!! how do we STILL have an issue with transphobi-"

because outside of being a cool sticker to show your inclusion and diversity, the vast majority of people don't care. because outside of going "hey look, we uplift trans people by making them popular", no one really considers us.

when you argue about headcanons, when you argue about "proper cosplays", when you post your videos of the studios whilst following us, when you do so many thingssss, you don't consider how it affects us. or, when we use our voices, if it's not about a headcanon or a fic? we're ignored.

for example, you'll argue about fem sirius but when we say "hey, maybe debating what makes a man a Proper Man is harmful", you roll your eyes and go "yeah but,,,,, he's meant to be MACHO MANLY 😡☝🏻" and i'm left watching people debate whether wearing makeup makes me - a real life trans man - less of a man. you'll argue that it makes wolfstar straight and i turn to my real life cis male boyfriend and ask if he's ever wanted me to Look Normal, or if anyone has ever questioned his "boyfriend", and he'll shake his head and ask why i'm worried, and i have to bring up a Fictional Wizard.

we're used as almost an act of protest by the fandom on tiktok??? used a lot as a "look at how trans inclusive this fandom is!" but when trans people say how they're treated and made to feel? the biggest concern is if this will affect their content.

existing as or engaging in something that jkr would hate is not an act of protest if that protest starts and ends with fictional characters. if that same inclusion and strive for representation and inclusion is not reflected with the issues that affect these creators you use as signposts for inclusion, then it's not an act of protest.

jkr doesn't care that you read trans regulus or that a trans person in this space has 300k followers, she cares if you're going to giving her money or not - so what are You doing to prove to Us that you won't?

engaging with queer media isn't an act of protest if you turn a blind eye to the creator of the franchise whilst she harms queer people. and it's not an act of protest if you ignore those that Do speak about it, because it's affecting the content you want.

my existence here isn't the protest. me being in this space as a trans person? that changes nothing. everything else i do is the protest. not my identity, but the fight to protect it.

[florsial]

Black Brothers sketches (I have no clue if ppl could tell but just in case yall can't Reg is the one with a red and gold ribbon) (yes Sirius wears a necklace with the moon phases)

I really like Sirius' look but I have so much trouble putting Regulus' look down on a drawing/sketch for some reason bfubwrfkubqefcu so ill have to put him in a grinder and rebuild him again.

For the hair thing: I hc them both as Chinese which sadly reduces their hair volume and curls (because Asian hair is like that) 😔 the only reason why Sirius' curly is because I fully believe he would get a perm. At the same time, Regulus sticks to his naturally straight (and no volume) silk hair.

Appearance HCs!!:

-Regulus' face is a lot more rounder compared to the rest of the family (except Andromeda)

-Trans Regulus has my heart (typically it's ftm but I also really like mtf) and Sirius is cis. Still, it isn't to say that he's strictly masc since I believe him to be very open to makeup and other typically feminine attire/styles (this is actually because I find the picture of a muscular Sirius wearing a pink lacy slip absolutely hilarious) (I'm sorry but can you actually be sad and picture that) (I'll let your mind wander)

-The Black family is always very tall, so naturally, Regulus is actually taller than Sirius but since Sirius fucking struts around his platforms it switches the height difference (aka balances it out a bit)

-Sirius' eyes are def like a desaturated pale blue and really unsettling, it makes you feel as if you are being stalked and judged heavily. While Regulus' is fully grey, darker, and less creepy, I can't explain but it's preferable to look into Regulus' eyes compared to Sirius'.

-While Regulus has freckles, Sirius has more moles scattered about

-Never shutting up about this, but Sirius is one of the (very) few members of the family to not gain white streaks/patches. Regulus on the other hand has sections of his hair that are white, but unlike Narcissa's hair, which grows in patches but is hidden underneath so most don't really notice it except when she ties her hair up, Regulus' white patches are displayed on top of his head of hair. Makes him feel as if he looks older

-Sirius smells like a variety of cheap perfumes (especially those strawberry cake ones from Bath and body works) and Regulus smells like a specific expensive cologne that he only uses and nothing else (he buys that shit in bulk)

-Regulus rarely paints his nails but Sirius does and it's a different color everytime (he loves variety) (same)

[olympiansowl]

This is amazing!

First, I’m gonna say something as a sapphic: people respect gay couples in media way more than they respect sapphic couples. And I put it on male privileges. We see tv shows about gay men, and they aren’t cancelled after first season or something, we see straight cis women loving gay men and treating them in a sisterhood that they don’t show to sapphic women. Which is something that I, personally, won’t ever understand. Take Mirabel Garlick as an example. She’s the only canonical lesbian in HP universe and there are people writing about her with male characters 😭 she’s a teacher on the game and the game does run away from canon in lot of ways, I believe JK had nothing to do with it or little bc we also have Sirona, a trans woman who’s a badass and kind and pretty af, but instead of writing a lot about the two of them, they also wrote about Mirabel with men. Also, some straight and cis people have something against pretty and kind, sweet women being gay.

The second thing is that the Harry Potter girls, except some of them, were written as the typical heteronormative girl. The only one who could kinda run from this heteronormative thing was Tonks (to this day I still wonder how tf that woman wrote Tonks, bc Tonks could turn herself into anyone of any gender) and even she fell into the “let me loose my personality for a guy” which is a fucking shame. All of the other girls are written in a very heteronormative thing since day one. I’m saying this as a reader bc there isn’t a single relationship in HP that we haven’t seen somewhere between het cis girls and het cis boys. Ginny and Harry are the “fell for my brother’s best friend”, Hermione and Ron are the “slow burn from besties to lovers…after the girl cried her eyes out bc of him” and even the “marauders era” couples are like that.

Third thing is about the writing. I think this is mostly because they don’t use their imagination enough to write f/f. I mean, this fandom created a LOT of HCs. A lot. To a point that sometimes we don’t even know what is canon and what they created. I mean, there are people out there that shipp characters that couldn’t possibly have interacted. They had imagination enough to create a whole thing that wouldn’t ever happen, even more so bc of the age and context, but cannot create things that are quite possible. The most famous shipp in the fandom is probably wolfstar, which I also won’t ever get bc Sirius was said to be an womanizer and he did some nasty stuff to Lupin, which could have caused him to be expelled and imprisoned. The HCs also changed Sirius personality in a way that he looks almost like a saint. So I would also blame the writing on those HCs that are more focused on changing the men we already know than creating things we don’t know. The only good HC I ever saw was about Dorcas and Marlene. And the HC that Regulus was gay, bi or pan seems kinda fascinating to me. I liked it a lot. Not that I don’t like HCs, I do have my share of shipps that almost no one talks about (like Phineas Nigellus and Matilda, Tonks and Chiara, Tonks and Charlie, Pomona and Poppy…there is more) but anyway, the HCs of this fandom are mostly centered on men. And that also comes with erasing women. The other day I had to read that Tonks was only written to bust wolfstar…as if the queen of anti lgbt people would ever make them canon in the books. She only made one gay character and she didn’t even wrote this in the books, she had to say it on a interview or something 😭 that woman hates us, she was never going to make something for our community.

About the sapphic shipps…some of them scare the shit out of me! Most are with Hermione, a shame she isn’t bi or something btw, but the shipps are fucking crazy. Most of the f/f fics I see about her are with Bellatrix…Bellatrix, the crazy one who probably would’ve handed Hermione to Greyback and who tortured the shit out of her. Bellatrix, who was so obsessed with a man that she killed her own niece after he said something about “cleaning her blood and family” and who also tortured two people to insanity bc she wanted to know where said man was. I have nothing against reading things about Bellatrix being a lesbian or bi or pan but even if she decided to date a woman, it wouldn't ever be Hermione bc Bellatrix is literally the most racist and radical of all of her family members. The only way someone can read those fics are when they change the whole personality of everyone involved. And this is also the point that get us to the HCs. If you have to change the whole thing to achieve what you want, it's more of an original work than a fanfiction based on something.

Now let’s talk about Lily. We know how Lily was pretty awesome, had power and all, but when we think of it, there’s no mention of female friends or something. We know she knew the female members of the order and all, but there’s also a sense of “my friends are my boyfriend and his mates” with it. Not saying that she couldn’t be friends with them, but it’s strange that a girl doesn’t have other female friends. And also…everything kinda happens bc of her, she should have more spotlight. She was the reason Harry was born, the reason he survived. And Harry is the protagonist. She was the reason Snape turned into a spy. She defied Voldemort two or three times and she was the “Hermione” of marauders era. And we know almost nothing about her when we compare to what we know about James Potter.

Tonks is always a bother to me because she’s my favorite character, a pretty cool girl who was one of the youngest aurors out there. She was smart, funny and a lot of other things, but she got turned into a “let me drop everything, including my self respect, for this guy” and that got into my nerves.

Another thing I disliked is that almost all mother are “stay at home” mothers and wives. I think Andromeda wasn’t, she was said to be a very very good healer, so she was probably something more, but all the others are like that. I know Molly had a whole army of children, but I would’ve loved to see her more in action bc that woman was powerful. The ones I don’t recall having children are the teachers…which also passes the vibe of “she decided to follow a career so she cannot have children”. Minerva had two romantic interests, one of them was her husband, and she didn’t have children. Not saying that not having children or being a stay at home mom is a problem, but considering we don’t see much of moms working out of their house in HP, I’d say that it passes the image of the thing all women probably heard some day about having to choose between one or another and that we cannot have both.

Do you think that the fact that most Harry Potter fanfics have gay couples as pairings (to the detriment of straight or lesbian couples) is because people have difficulty writing f/f characters as strong and m/f as equals or is this due to underrepresentation? of women in books?

This is an interesting question, especially because it’s not limited to the Harry Potter fandom; it’s actually quite widespread in all fandoms, particularly those where there are either very few female characters, or where the female characters play much more secondary roles than the male ones. I think nowadays, with the (slow, but ongoing) effort being made to foster representation, these sorts of things might go more unnoticed. But in series or franchises from fifteen or twenty years ago (we’re talking early 2000s here, no need to go all the way back to the '80s), it was pretty common for m/m pairings to prevail over the canon het couples and, of course, far above f/f couples, which are basically the ugly ducklings of most fandoms—and this isn’t just a coincidence.

The Harry Potter case is especially interesting to me because it’s a series written by a woman where, in fact, there are quite a few female characters, and one of the most important in the whole series (Hermione) is a girl. She’s not only the most significant female character but is also the only one truly developed, with depth and a gradual evolution throughout the books. The rest of the women are either unimportant secondary characters, villains, or merely “placeholder” girlfriends for Harry who only becomes relevant in the last two books (and yes, I’m talking about Ginny, who I find unbearable. J.K. Rowling’s forced attempt to keep Harry in the Weasley family shoves us with this girl who’s meant nothing throughout the story and is then given this “pick me” girl personality—please don’t count me among the other girls—which not only has aged terribly, but I already found it repulsive back then).

I’m bringing up Hermione because it’s not just that she’s the most important girl in the story; she’s also the token character who is constantly paired with every male character in the saga, including men who are twenty years her senior and are her professors, father figures, or fathers of her schoolmates. And this is really interesting because it’s not that Hermione “matches” with everyone or could remain in character if paired with Sirius or Snape; it’s simply that Hermione is the only genuinely complex, three-dimensional female character in the entire series. So, if people choose to create non-canon pairings between canon characters, she’s the easiest choice because she’s got substance and a basis to build on. The rest of the female characters are mere shadows or are relegated to the role of villains or mothers. And if we talk about the younger female characters, it’s a real hair-puller.

Sure, Rowling doesn’t give recurring characters much emphasis in general, but for every ten things you know about a male character, you only know one about their female equivalent. If you know little about Dean Thomas, you know even less about Parvati Patil, just as an example. And all those secondary characters with a bit more screen time ultimately end up being someone’s girlfriend or wife. For example, Fleur, who is also the only one who doesn’t make much of a mark during the Triwizard Tournament (what a coincidence—the three guys stand out, and she doesn’t). We then only see her as Bill’s girlfriend and eventual wife. And the other semi-relevant female characters despise her for being beautiful, only accepting her when she proves she’s a devoted, loyal woman to her husband, no matter what happens to him, even if he’s scarred or turns into a werewolf. This vision of a beautiful, confident woman as merely a sexualized figure (as initially presented) or a threat to other women (as happens later), who can only prove her worth as a woman who conforms to “proper” standards by renouncing her feminine essence to become a wife, is typical of a misogynistic, male gaze often found in fiction. It’s quite striking here because it’s a woman writing the story, yet she still falls into the same old tropes.

Then there’s Tonks, shown as an Auror, an independent woman with her own job, who’s “cool” because she’s “not like other girls” with her colorful hair and Metamorphmagus powers. But all that gets overshadowed when she suddenly becomes a simp for Lupin, who, on top of it all, abandons her after she becomes pregnant, yet she forgives him because love conquers all. Excuse me? This is the female representation you get in the series. Because the rest are mothers: Lily is a saint who sacrifices her life for her son, Molly Weasley is basically a tradwife, and Narcissa Malfoy is only worthy of some respect when she risks everything for Draco. Again, we know much more about their husbands than we do about them; we know more about the men in their lives than we do about them. Their husbands have deeper backstories, richer histories.

Take Lily, for example. We know nothing about her. The little we do know comes from Snape’s memories, and it’s tiny compared to everything we know about James throughout the series. We know so much about James that we can debate endlessly about whether he was truly a good guy or a jerk, and this despite the fact that both are dead at the start of the story and Lily’s relationship with Harry is supposedly more central to the plot. Yet James is more fleshed out! James had friends, friends who talk about him, who tell his son about their youthful adventures. James was someone outside of being a father and husband; Lily wasn’t. Lily is Petunia’s sister, Harry’s mother, Snape’s lost love/friend, and James’ crush and future wife—period. That’s it. Did Lily not have friends of her own? Didn’t she hang out with other girls in her year? Didn’t she have relationships beyond Severus? Why is there not a single friend of Lily’s in the entire saga who can tell Harry what his mother was like? We have not one, but two friends of James, a traitor, and an enemy. But for Lily? Nothing. Only Snape, whose relationship with Lily isn’t even revealed until the final book.

All the Weasleys, except Ginny, are boys. We know things about all or most of the Weasleys, and they have significant moments in the story despite being secondary characters. There are no recurring female counterparts who show up as consistently. Harry’s female classmates don’t interest him, or only come up when Hermione criticizes them. Generally speaking, the female characters have a lot of shortcomings compared to the male characters at any level of the story.

All this to say, while you could argue there’s female representation in the story, is there really? The only girl from the Marauder’s era is Lily. Mary McDonald is mentioned, but we know nothing about her. The rest of the female characters in that fandom are invented—names that pop up randomly in the books with no physical description, no substance, no relevance to the plot. They’re practically OCs thrown into fanfics because all that exists is Lily and the name of some supposed friend of hers who we never hear from again. There’s very little material to work with. And even though Harry’s generation has more girls, they aren’t significant enough for people to be interested in them because there are more boys, and the boys are much better developed. So, people either dive into slash or create OCs because there isn’t much else to hold onto. And if we talk about the reasons behind the lack of f/f pairings, it boils down to the same thing: if it’s hard enough with het couples because, aside from Hermione, Ginny, or Luna, it’s hard to find anything to work with among the female characters, imagine trying with two women.

Of course, I also think it’s largely because there’s zero LGBTQ representation in these stories, but back then, LGBTQ representation was practically non-existent in all children’s/young adult fiction. Although, seeing where J.K. Rowling stands on these issues now, I doubt she’d have done much differently in that regard today.

What I’m saying is that I’ve seen time and time again that when a fandom has well-developed female characters who actually matter, people do work with them. Take “A Song of Ice and Fire,” for example: we’re talking about a story with a ton of male characters, but every single female character has a point of view, a backstory, and a way of seeing the world. You get to know each of them, even the less important ones. If you dive into that fandom, you’ll see all kinds of het pairings and plenty of f/f pairings too. And this is a medieval fantasy saga with plenty of misogyny, but the reality is that it has a very powerful and diverse cast, full of women, each of whom is her own person with a story, ambitions, and a journey—and that gives you something to work with, which is not the case with Harry Potter. But it’s not exclusive to that saga; if you look at fandoms like Naruto, which hit their peak around the same time, it’s the same thing. Ultimately, the common thread I see (besides the fact that we live in a patriarchal society that usually ignores women in fiction, even when it’s by female authors) across all these fandoms where m/m dominates over any other pairing is precisely the lack of female characters or, if there are enough, the fact that their development ranges from minimal to nonexistent.

[certainlynotlost]

very much in my hater era

james isn't stupid

sirius isn't a damsel in distress

remus isn't COOL or CALM or BRILLIANT

peter is irredeemable

regulus isn't an animagus ffs

regulus isn't brilliant

regulus could NEVER save the entire world

barty is ten times cleverer than regulus

evan rosier put up a good fight with moody but DIED

volvol is literally a street urchin. he's poor and he was raised in an orphanage. his upbringing was religious as fuck

when james asked lily out in front of snape it was to stick it to snape, not to get her to agree. her saying no actually helped in his endeavour, "see, snivellus, she wouldn't go out with the most brilliant popular boy in school even to save your arse" sort of way

lily's brilliant but she doesn't PUT PEOPLE DOWN FOR IT

walburga is a cunt and irredeemable as well but she would never use the cruciatus ffs

walburga put up with sirius' shite because she fucking admired him, she preferred him over regulus

it wasn't remus who worked out how to become an animagus (one of the most dangerous and difficult things you can do) it was JAMES AND SIRIUS and also peter but it's inferred that peter needed quite a bit of help

peter wasn't useless. he was very good at magic, only sirius and james overshadowed him a LOT because they were simply better

remus doesn't "put up" with james and sirius, he's in AWE of them. he can't BELIEVE they call him friend

sirius didn't ABANDON regulus, he left an abusive household

sirius would NEVER choose regulus over james. people who say so truly don't know what having a best friend means

jegulus was fun when it was just a joke on tt but it lacks nuance in a way that is disturbing. as if james was boiled down to a simpering idiot and regulus was raised to the state of perfection

wolfstar is just the response to having jily as a ship and wanting some m/m. and that would be FINE except there is a heavy power imbalance in every iteration. and don't even get me started in the fucking cis-het characterisation of their relationship.

sirius is a fucking forest fire, not a bumbling bitch

the strongest person in the whole marauder's era is SIRIUS. he was raised in an abusive household and, against all odds, ended up with a strong moral compass and the ability to love with his whole heart. when he fucked up, the prank, he owned up to it almost immediately and told james. his best friend DIED and his first instinct was to protect his child. when that was denied, he was clever enough to know that there was no future for him and he, instead of breaking, sought revenge. when that failed, he was sent to azkaban, which is a place where MOST people die within weeks and fucking KEPT HIS SANITY, and a good part of his health. he was confined to the place he escaped , grimmauld, and he still was able to function (with a minor alcohol addiction. could be worse, given his situation). he was pleasant, collected, incredibly clever. he had the strength to forgive remus, who left him as if he'd never existed, for TWELVE YEARS. he was civil enough to the person who was responsible for the death of his best friend and who emotionally abused his godson, the only person he truly loves at this point. put up with being absolutely bashed and ridiculed by hermione, molly, even remus and arthur. put himself in arguably the worst and most dangerous place for him, an escaped convict, to save his godson and then he died, not losing a duel against bellatrix, but actually being hit by dumb luck with a stunning spell and falling through the veil.

james potter, arrogant, funny, beloved, said to be incredible on a broom, head boy, clever as fuck, had the biggest heart of them all. sacrificed himself without even batting an eye. put himself in danger numerous times, not least every full moon and ESPECIALLY when the prank happened. where was peter, huh?

remus was quiet, sort of cowardly, and ran from his problems. he ALWAYS runs. his friends find out he's a werewolf? he runs. his friends think he's a traitor? he runs. his best friend's son is left orphaned? he runs. his best friend is accused of betraying the fucking potters? he does NOT show up for him for TWELVE YEARS. his ex friend, whom he thinks is a murderer and of whom he has some information on? he chooses not to say shite because he's afraid of how it'll play out with dumbledore. he is asked directly by harry, a traumatised child, about sirius black and his relationship with his dead father and he... fumbles. he, in a sense, runs. his lycantropy is found out by the entire school but he still has a place for him as a teacher in the only stable job he's ever had? he runs. he falls in love with someone who loves him back? he fucking runs. he finally marries someone whom he loves and who loves him (don't even get me started on tonks, i've got a lot of thoughts on tonks and the disservice done for that character) and is about to have a child with that person? HE FUCKING ABANDONS HIS PREGNANT SPOUSE TO GO PLAY WITH SOME TEENAGERS. i am not saying he isn't a good person, or that he cannot be likeable, but for FUCK'S sake, he's not a hero. and he is, in my eyes, just as fucked up and capable of fucking up as sirius, if not more. he literally endangered students just because he was scared to own up to something he enabled when he was a teenager. he abandons his pregnant spouse because he's SCARED. look me in the eye and tell me if tonks, twenty-something tonks, pregnant with a, potentially, deathly ill child, WAS NOT SCARED SHITLESS AS WELL?! HE'S EVEN AFRAID OF STANDING UP TO HIS BEST FRIENDS, NOT EVEN AS A CHILD OR TEENAGER, AS A FULLY GROWN ADULT (in ootp, the firecall scene)

[prongsiess]

As the username implies, James Fleamont Potter means a lot to me and I have put quite a bit of thought into his existence. So here’s a few of my headcanons:

Pansexual, cis man who uses he/him pronouns

Peter and Marlene were his childhood best friends. Marls’ mum and Effie had graduated together and stayed close through the years. Marls’ dad went to wizard law school with Pete’s mum and by the time they all settled down and had kids, the 3 couples were inseparable

Effie was a Hufflepuff and Monty was a Gryffindor, and James was very conflicted on which house he wanted to be in, but was sure his placement was accurate when he walked into the common room the first night and faced the bustling atmosphere, huge fire place and comfy, oversized arm chairs; he immediately felt at home

Was really homesick and used to stay up drawing; that’s how he first discovered a sobbing Sirius having a nightmare and decided that he would never let anyone else hurt his new best mate ever again

Liked to have biscuits and tea with Minnie, since she had been Monty’s quidditch captain back in the day and they had always kept in touch, which meant Minnie was kind of an aunt to him.

Got told off often during his first year for calling her Minnie instead of Professor Mcgonagall (that’s why the marauders call her Minnie)

Was so excited to meet Sirius’ mysterious younger brother, but was rubbed the wrong way when he gave Sirius a hug on the train and Regulus gave him the stink eye and told him to not touch his brother ever again

Got on the quidditch team in second year and beat out 6 upperclassmen in try-outs (Minnie cried and owled Monty immediately)

His gay awakening was his quidditch captain in his second year. He was tall and slim with a bunch of tattoos and a shag haircut and James didn’t know if he wanted to be him or be with him

Had a brief crush on Remus at the beginning of third year

His first kiss was Remus during third year Hols, but at that point he didn’t really have a crush on him anymore

Starting liking Lily towards the end of third year but didn’t really start asking her out and such before fourth year. When he realized he wasn’t getting anywhere, he stopped making a fool of the both of them and tried to befriend her instead. Lily stayed reluctant to his friendship until around mid fifth year

He would beg Mary to teach him to make her famous double chocolate cookies, but she never relented to his begging. Out of spite, when Mary asked him for his biryani recipe, he refused to give it to her

Was a big sucker for muggle romance novels

Walked into the wrong changing room before practice in his fifth year and bumped right into Regulus, who was the last to get out of the showers after his own practice, who was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist

James immediately ran off, apologizing hastily and headed straight to take a cold shower telling Frank to start without him. When Marlene came to check on him a little later, finding his tardiness annoying since they couldn’t run drills without him, she found him screaming into his quidditch kit sitting on the shower floor in his boxers

Starts speaking hindi randomly, especially when he’s super concentrated or zoned out

I’ve got a bunch more, but I’ll save those for another post

[rblcck]

Are you? Those words hurt more than he ever could have prepared himself for. He knew that repairing things with Narcissa wouldn't be as easy as it had been with Andromeda and Sirius, but he never expected her to not believe him. Regulus wouldn't lie, not to Narcissa. Not to the person he once felt so close to. "Of course I'm sorry, Cis-" He cut himself off from using her nickname. He knew she wouldn't appreicate it from someone that was no longer in her inner circle. "Of course I'm sorry, Narcissa. I wouldn't be saying it if it weren't true. I hope you know that." Regulus Black was not a liar, that was something he could say with pride.

His head shook, eyebrows furrowing. It wasn't that he hadn't trusted her, it was everyone else around her that he didn't trust. Narcissa could keep a secret, he was sure of that much. But Regulus knew first hand how awful Death Eaters could be, and he didn't want Narcissa to have any information that might put her at risk. His eyes raised up to study her face at her question, and his shoulders shrugged slightly. "It was a bit of a split decision. Only a couple days to plan faking my death before going through with it. Kreacher helped me…"

There had been a time when she would have said Regulus was her best friend. But that seemed like so long ago. Did she even know him anymore? He had always understood the pressure put on them as children of the House of Black and how that pressure had worsened when Andromeda and then Sirius left. Narcissa knew that it was dangerous being there, that if Bellatrix knew that she was seeing him in secret she would be furious. And she didn't even want to know what Lucius would think.

But she wanted to know why. Why had Regulus done what he did? That question had haunted her. She knew why Andromeda had left. She fell in love with the wrong man. If she let herself think about it for more than a passing moment she could maybe understand. But she couldn't let herself think about that. "Are you?" Narcissa commented, looking up from her tea, raising an eyebrow. "When my father told me what you had done I thought he was joking. There was no way that Regulus would leave. But here we are." She paused. "You didn't trust me," Narcissa finally said, her voice flat. "You were probably right not to." But if she had been given the chance what would she have done? "How long? How long did you know you were going to leave?"

[arctuurusregulus]

→  diagon  alley  is  home  to  many  ,  a  direct  connection  to  the  wizarding  world  ,  right  in  the  centre  of  london  ,  many  people  like  REGULUS BLACK ,  spend  majority  of  his   time  in  the  busy  alley  ,  people  know  him  as  the  TWENTY year  old  who  is  a  SLYTHERIN graduate  ,  now  training  as  a   HEALER,  i  think  the  role  suits  them  perfectly  as  i  think  they  are INTELLIGENT but  also  they  can  be  DISTANT,  but  that's  just  my  opinion  . 

→ NAME: regulus arcturus black ii → NICKNAMES: reg → AGE / D.O.B.: 20 years old / 31/12 → SPECIES: pureblood wizard  → GENDER / PRONOUNS: cis male / he&him  → SEXUALITY: bisexual  → RELATIONSHIP STATUS:  single

FAMILY 

→ PARENTS:  orion black, walburga black, amycus carrow → SIBLINGS: sirius black → COUSINS: bellatrix black, andromeda black, narcissa black, evan rosier, ? → PETS: elara (black fluffy cat), perseus (pallas cat, gift from amycus)

LIFESTYLE 

→ BORN:   london, england  → RAISED:   london, england  → CURRENT RESIDENCE: london, england (in his own flat, not grimmauld place tyvm) → NATIONALITY: english  → LANGUAGES: english, french, german → OCCUPATION: trainee healer (almost finished!), healer for the Death Eaters → DRINK | SMOKE | DRUGS: yes / yes / yes → RELIGION: no

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES 

→ FACE CLAIM: timothee chalamet → HEIGHT: 5ft 10in → BUILD: thin, athletic → HAIR: dark brown, slightly curly → EYE COLOR: grey-green  → DOMINANT HAND: right  → SCENT: disinfectant, pine soap → NERVOUS HABITS: tends to study/work to avoid everything else, drugs

CHARACTER 

→ MORAL ALIGNMENT: true neutral → MBTI: INTP → WESTERN ZODIAC: summer said he’s a capricorn  → SONG: 

MAGIC 

→ WAND: elm, dittany stalk core, 10 in, inflexible  → PATRONUS: can’t make one, but it’d be a cat → BOGGART:  various family/friends dead from injuries he tried and failed to treat

BIO (tw drug abuse)

 you know the drill: heir and spare, reg was definitely the spare, learned to be seen & not heard / to do what was expected of him / to not get caught

he never understood why sirius felt the need to talk back-- obedience didn’t mean agreement, just fewer consequences. reg was a good liar from a young age, certified sneaky bastard by the time he started school

school went well. reg liked he predictability of it: if he worked hard, he’d get good grades. if he got good grades, he got more privileges and praise. he went all in on being top of the class, quidditch star, prefect, slug club, etc etc etc

less good with people-- tended to want almost everyone at arms’ length & used insults and arrogance to keep them there. looked down on those he thought weren’t putting in enough effort. 

because everything will be okay if you work hard enough, yeah?

always was good at potions, maybe too good. by the time he graduated, he’d started depending on them to keep his life together-- one to go up & one to come down, all that deal

got the dark mark right after he turned 16 (thrilled that the adults around him considered him worthy for the honour), older death eaters encouraged his interest in healing magic due to potential usefulness

started his traineeship the day after he finished school, working overtime to qualify as a healer as quickly as possible. specialises in emergency medicine.

started healing non-serious injuries for death eaters immediately, getting into more complicated things over time. so he’s seen his friends and family hurt on a regular basis, is often the one dealing with the aftermath when things have gone wrong

he never doubted before, never stopped to think about it, but lately he’s been wondering what the end cost of all this will be

[recreancyrpg]

Welcome to Recreancy, Nat!

You have been accepted for the role of EVAN ROSIER, with the faceclaim change of Manny Jacinto!

He would never admit it out loud, but most Order members are people he would consider friends. Things have hit a point where he trusts them more than the carefully picked friendships his parents forced upon him to make sure he was surrounded by people who had their best interests in the Rosier family’s legacy.

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME & PRONOUNS: Nat, she/her

AGE: 25+

TIMEZONE: EST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: 5/10 — I work multiple jobs, am considered a full-time graduate student, and co-admin a group of my own so I can be rather inconsistent with replies. Not inconsistent enough to not be able to post 2-3 replies a week but there are the occasional moments of overwhelm where I may get only one or none up. If it’s a case of not getting anything up I will reach out since I’m not one for dropping without a warning — ideally, that won’t happen but still just giving that disclaimer as a heads up.

ANYTHING ELSE: No triggers. Experience wise… I have been rping since Neopets’ forums. Evan would be a new muse for me. My go-to characters are usually Regulus, Frank, Lucius, Ted, Sirius, and Remus.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Evan Rosier

AGE: 29

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis-male, he/him, bisexual but would claim he is straight is asked

I don’t think he’s done a lot of exploring with his sexuality but am also like nah, I could totally see him having snogged a few people of the same sex back at Hogwarts either out of curiosity or from being a tad inebriated. I hc him as having been paranoid about outright upsetting his father while growing up and could see the narrative of marriage and producing an heir being stressed as the “right” path.

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Slytherin — near hat stall between Ravenclaw and Slytherin 

ANY CHANGES: I would like to see a fc change but am not overly picky. Three I’m throwing in as suggestions include Manny Jacinto, Richard Madden, and Nolan Gerard Funk.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY: 

The unresolved: cigarette butts. saving everyone but yourself. stargazer. deep breaths. black coffee. the scent of a forest after it rains. rose petals. bloodied knuckles. talking to plants to help them grow. conflicted. there to offer a helping hand. breakfast in bed. uncertain paths. holding hands beneath the table. kill them with kindness.

Strengths and weaknesses:

As the Rosier heir, Evan was raised in a way that instilled traits that the Rosier parents knew would be expected of the son that would eventually take over the family name. Although kind enough to care about their children, Evan’s parents made it clear there was no room for error during his early years. They expected their heir to be compliant, intelligent, and determined. Evan was raised knowing there would be consequences if he behaved in a way that made other families look down on him. Large infractions usually involved unsavory punishments and Evan was quick-witted enough to learn and accept there was little room to do the opposite of what was expected while growing up.

Even-tempered and resourceful are other words that could be used to describe the Rosier heir. Those ones didn’t come about until school made it possible for him to explore his sense of self without his father keeping an eye on every move he made.

On the negative end of things, Evan can be described as cunning and anxious. Feelings of anxiety are something he hasn’t been able to shake, primarily stemming from the few occasions where his behavior earned his being on the receiving end of his father’s disappointment and rage toward his actions. The sense of cunning is one that came naturally. He was raised knowing he was destined for greatness and taught to do whatever it took to get what he needed. Evan can occasionally be deceptive and proved to be quite charming during his Hogwarts years. A sly smile and smooth tongue had Professors wrapped around his fingers.

Although raised with pureblood ideologies, Evan knew to keep his prejudiced thoughts to himself, being calculated enough to save them for a situation with few witnesses. Salazar knew his father would have had something to say if word got back about Evan earning detentions for hexing or speaking poorly of other students. It meant forced pleasantries when stuck working with students the family would have considered lesser and feigning tolerance.

There is also a sense of kindness or empathy that Evan cannot avoid. It comes with the territory of having multiple sisters and having settled on healing as an occupation. This leaves the potential of being called soft, but Evan willingly uses the Healer’s Oath as an excuse for explaining being ready to clean up the aftermath of either side’s actions.

Excels and struggles:

Studies are where Evan most excelled. He has a thirst for knowledge that left him eager to learn. A strong memory made it easy to recall the more in-depth parts of the books he read. Healing was not his calling at first. The exams and work that were necessary for proving himself as a capable Mediwizard were grueling but necessary in ensuring the family name remained relevant and undoubted.

Evan’s favorite pastimes include herbology and dueling - a particularly odd combination but it has proven to come in handy now that things have picked up. He has a garden back at his flat and has been working to grow most of the herbs that are necessary for basic healing.

As of recent, Evan has been struggling to find a sense of self. His path was clearly laid out for him at birth and his involvement with the Order has left him wondering if his family picked the wrong side to support. Witnessing the Death Eater’s carnage firsthand has left him sick to his stomach. There is a lot of confusion since the task of infiltrating the Order was one he once considered an honor. The plan was to bring it down from the inside. No strings attached and no room for feeling guilty.

As the years of working with the Order have gone on, Evan has seen his feelings toward the idea shift. What was once considered an honor is now something that has left him bordering on properly defecting from the Death Eaters. The information he has been relaying back to the Dark Lord has been carefully crafted as of recent - no room for doubt and his providing minimal enough information to not give immediate locations of Order plans away.

He would never admit it out loud, but most Order members are people he would consider friends. Things have hit a point where he trusts them more than the carefully picked friendships his parents forced upon him to make sure he was surrounded by people who had their best interests in the Rosier family’s legacy.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 

Trigger warning: Neglect and child abuse referenced below

Evan was raised with everything he could have ever wanted and more. No request was too obscene and his parents doted on him and his sisters. He was raised as the heir - strict expectations and dire consequences if he couldn’t follow through on things. Being compliant meant toeing the line and doing as was expected. The few times he didn’t stand out as unfavorable memories. Skipped meals and the occasional slap were reserved for minor infractions. Major ones involved the use of his father’s wand. Evan has three scars along his left calf from having misbehaved while growing up. The process of earning them was traumatic enough to keep him from misbehaving and his father gave a strict order of allowing it to heal the muggle way - no salves or bandages to assist the deep cuts his wand made. Although positioned in a way to avoid the public eye, they served as a stark reminder that every misstep has its consequences.

Evan took on the role of leader when it came to his siblings. He set a good example and was quick to step up and claim to be at fault if it turned into his siblings being blamed for anything. The habit of taking the fall for his sisters was all too natural - where the family expected perfection, it was on him to ensure the younger Rosiers did as they were told. His saying he was disappointed in his siblings carried just as much of an effect as his mother or father saying the same did. At the end of the day, he would do anything for his sisters.

The only catch with Evan stems from his having avoided being bullied into a betrothal for over a decade now. According to his parents, he is unwilling to settle and still has time to find someone. They view him as dedicated to his work and the Death Eaters and haven’t fully pushed things since it took several years for Evan to earn his spot at St. Mungo’s. With Evan, it’s merely a matter of having an interest in someone his father wouldn’t approve of. The conversation has yet to involve properly-being face to face with his parents on the matter so he is more than happy to put it off, knowing the blow if he ever properly turns his back on the Death Eaters would be worse than admitting he’s head over heels for a half-blood.

Prejudices are something that were instilled in Evan from a young age. The family is of pure blood and fraternizing with anyone of lesser blood was strictly prohibited to the point where his parents decided which families had children that were appropriate for their son to befriend. He was raised wanting for nothing and his pompous attitude was something his parents didn’t disapprove of. Evan learned from the actions of his housemates that Hogwarts had consequences for those prejudices. He was able to keep them to himself for the most part but they are still there lurking beneath the surface and occasionally come to light.

The last couple of years of his life have been spent battling those prejudices and trying to unlearn some of the beliefs that were drilled into him as a child.

OCCUPATION:

Mediwizard - up for a promotion to one of the heads of the floor he works on at St. Mungo’s. He has seen a lot of carnage from the dueling sides and has taken the stance of assisting each side as long as he's undercover.

LIVING SITUATION: 

Evan has a two-bedroom flat. The first bedroom is his and the second belongs to an incredibly spoiled Chow Chow puppy named Ourse. There is a carefully crafted greenhouse in his yard that houses the plants he uses for healing Order and Death Eater members alike.

His most recent development housing-wise is finally having convinced Theo to move in since they were practically living together anyway.

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX: 

Evan serves as a mediwizard for the Order. Initially, he wanted nothing to do with healing Order members since the Death Eaters had him as the on-call healer for emergency situations. The Healer’s Oath, however, left him quickly realizing both sides would have to benefit from his skills. He has gotten far too used to people showing up bloodied on his doorstep, miraculously having kept healing the dueling sides a secret over the years through a strict ‘not assisting if not given a warning’ rule, merely requesting a patronus or owl be sent before showing up. 

As for feelings toward the Order, Evan has settled on beginning to believe he picked the wrong side of the war. He cannot wrap his head around why the Death Eaters are targeting blood traitors - more specifically, those that are of the Sacred 28. He questions what more damage will come from the Death Eaters turning on their own kind. The Order seems like the more reasonable cause to support but he knows vocally admitting such will not end well.

RELATIONSHIPS: 

Theodosia Selwyn: Hard, and getting harder all the time. An enigma at first, Theo’s arrival into Evan’s life was rather perplexing. He had to give some credit though since the girl had a lot of nerve in approaching the Slytherins to question their pureblood upbringings. He was willing to open up once Theodosia proved to be of use to him. Although raised with prejudices dating back for generations, Evan was more than happy to welcome the Ravenclaw into his ranks upon discovering how similar they were. She was clever and an asset to him so it only made sense to associate with her in a way similar to how the younger Slytherins welcomed Severus Snape.

Sleeping together wasn’t supposed to be serious — at least that was the agreement while in school. No strings attached, no feelings. Simply using each other as an excuse to relieve the stress of exams in her sixth year and his seventh and maintaining the close friendship that developed over the years. Fast forward a decade later and the two have hit the point of being nearly inseparable. There isn’t a specific date that comes to mind in regards to officially getting together with Theo. Evan knows things have hit a point where he can’t imagine a life without her at his side. He has been toying around with the idea of properly proposing, having kept the ring well hidden in one of the drawers of the flat they share.

It’s merely a matter of needing to navigate the potential consequences of admitting his loyalties have shifted - something that has left him regretting having introduced her to the Dark Lord’s cause in the first place - before he takes that next step. 

Frank Longbottom: Doubt comes in and leaves a trace of vinegar and turpentine… Guilt has been the most recent feeling to come up when thinking about Frank. The two were close as children and drifted apart during Hogwarts. It was all too easy to use him as a way of getting into the Order and the stupidity in not questioning his motives was something Evan boasted about when first joining. Things are hitting the point where Evan would be able to say he trusts Franks with his life - a rather bold statement to come from someone who had initially joined as a way of feeding information back to the Death Eaters.

Daisy Hookum: Who the hell do you think you're talking to? A minor annoyance since he did not expect joining the Order to mean being bombarded by questions about pureblood life. Although attempting to unlearn some of his prejudices, he still can’t fathom why Daisy is so fascinated by the muggle way of life.

Hestia Jones: That’s the way the river runs. The habit of not referring to Order members is something that Evan has been trying to strengthen ever since he started doubting his stance with the Death Eaters. Evan has let Hestia in closer than most members of the Order. He has come to trust her and is rather thrown off by the dynamic between them. Having paid little mind to Hestia past the occasional chuckle at his housemates’ crude comments of her upbringing has left him wondering if not properly interacting with non-purebloods during his Hogwarts years was a mistake.

James Potter/Marlene Mckinnon/Emmeline Vance/Gideon Prewett: Doubt comes in, the wind is changing… Healing the four was an eye-opening experience for Evan. The worst part of things was knowing his own acquaintances had been the ones to do the damage. Guilt and doubt settled in and Evan is more uncertain than he was before they went missing. There is something completely unsettling in knowing that the Death Eaters targeted a member of the Sacred 28 - even with the Prewetts having been labeled traitors. Uncertainty has been plaguing him ever since he went out of his way to heal the injuries of the four and try to regularly check-in to make sure there were no lingering injuries.

Severus Snape: Oh, you gotta keep your head low, if you wanna keep your head... Too much time was spent carefully crafting the lie of serving the Order but spying for the other side. If Severus were to find out, it would mean their having the ability to undo all the work that Evan put into building relationships and maintaining the fact that he is, in fact, solely focused on the Order. Evan is more amused than anything else that the younger Death Eater has yet to figure out there are four spies among the Order. (I am willing to go Evan took one look at that situation and went “Alright, Theo, Emma… Don’t tell them. We’re placing bets on how long it will take for them to realize.” if the other two muns are okay with that)

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: Anything works for me as long as there is chemistry!

INTERPERSONAL STRUGGLES: 

I would say Evan spends a lot of time walking on eggshells. He certainly would have his guard down by this point but his relationships early on in things would have been his deliberately trying to distance himself. He’s kept his death eater affiliation under wraps since joining and intends to keep it that way.

Where it’s been several years of working with the cause, he has come out of his shell but still carries a lot of anxiety toward the Order finding out his original affiliation or the Death Eaters discovering his plans of defecting to the other side. Either option is unthinkable since it would mean losing the support system he has come to rely on or being branded a traitor and facing the consequences that accompany that. Or worse, both.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? My application is 100% Rachie’s fault since she nudged me and I have zero self-control when it comes to rps that have a new take on the Marauders’ universe. 

PLOT DROP IDEAS (OPTIONAL): Throwing a younger sister of his into the mix could be interesting - especially if it’s a case of her not being marked and Evan never expecting to have direct family involved in either cause. Evan 100% would’ve taken the mark for the sake of his siblings not having to do the same and would’ve been silent about infiltrating the Order. I didn’t really dive into his family as deeply as I could have for the sake of acknowledging I’d be down for his having a sibling join the group.

ANYTHING ELSE? Pinterest. Playlist. Thank you for taking the time to read this over.

[moonscarsandstars]

this is my first time writing a trans character, and as someone who’s cis, i’ve never experienced dysphoria. so please call me out if i got anything wrong, and if i did, i’m really sorry.

tw; dysphoria, anxiety / panic.

~~~

“What’s in that letter?”

Regulus looked up from his book, eyes meeting Sirius’s. Sirius hastily crushed a browning piece of paper, and stuffed it in his pocket.

“None of your business,” snarled Sirius, slouching back in his seat.

In Regulus’s opinion, this event was too glamorous to be considered a funeral- really just an excuse to match up more cousins, and produce more heirs. The large hall had been cleared of Uncle Alphard’s hoards of collections.

It seemed so foreign, not like something uncle Alphard would’ve been a part of.

“What is it? There’s something, and I know it,” he said through gritted teeth, trying to dull out the noise as more people came in.

“It’s nothing,” Sirius spat out like poison, glaring at Regulus. “Even if it was something, you’d go and blab about it to Mother and Father, wouldn’t you?”

Regulus tried to swallow the guilty feeling that rose up in his throat. “I’d only tell for your safety.”

“Safety?” Sirius barked out a loud, bitter laugh.

“Shh!”

“They’d kill me! They’d kill me if you told half the shit you cant keep inside your mouth.”

“That’s not true,” whispered Regulus, wishing the ground would swallow him whole as piercing glares turned towards the two of them.

“It’s true and you fucking know it,” he growled.

“Why don’t you give them a chance, Sirius? Y’know they’re actually human too.”

“Human?! They’re fucking monsters. You wouldn’t know, would you? You’re the perfect son, aren’t you?”

Regulus felt that familiar pang of emotion, and twist in his stomach. He swallowed thickly, biting his lip to keep tears or shouts escape him.

Something felt wrong. Something was wrong.

Sirius slipped the paper in between a book with a purple cover, before storming off outside. Regulus sighed, staring back up at the giant crystal chandelier hanging off the ceiling, and trying to shake off that feeling of dread, along with his chest tightening.

~~~

That tightening feeling didn’t go away, and by night, Regulus could barely keep from screaming. He let his nails travel over his dry skin for maybe a second of being able to fucking breathe.

“Fucking Sirius,” he muttered to himself, getting up from the bed and stretching fingers through his hair, feeling another wrench in his gut.

A sudden creek made him jump out of his skin, as he jumped back to bed and tried to keep as still as possible.

Peering through a think gap in the blanket, he saw his mother walk quickly down the corridor. He caught a glimpse of her black earrings- the ones that cost more than the house they lived in. She always wore them when going out.

Where could she be going now?

Regulus walked softly, avoiding the unsteady planks of polished wood, as he slowly followed her.

“Reg?”

Regulus snapped his neck around, to see an exhausted Sirius in his pajamas, a large, blackening gash across his cheekbone.

“What happened?” Whispered Regulus, moving closer.

“Dear mother,” he mumbled, irking a “sh!” from Regulus. He went back to whispering. “She wants me to get married.”

“Married? You’re fifteen!”

"When I’m sixteen. Didn’t you know that the bitch- Bella got betrothed at fifteen?”

“What?!”

“I know, brother, this family is a little fucked up.”

There was that unexplainable wrench in his gut, that made him nauseous again. He swallowed, willing for it to go again.

“Please don’t say that.”

“What? That this family’s dysfunctional, fucking abusive-”

Why was he feeling dread? Why was he feeling uncomfortable? Why was his skin crawling?

“-but of course, you’d never know, would you? You’re just going to grow up to be the producer to the next heirs-”

Ounces of anger were building up in him.

“-because you’re the perfect boy, aren’t you? You’re just their model, to show to the rest of the world-”

Rage that Regulus couldn’t explain was filling him, almost erasing the itching feeling that made him want to scream.

“-son, aren’t you? The perfect inbred father to-”

“Don’t call me a him!”

If there was any calm between the brothers before, it had completely disappeared now.

“What did you say?”

Sirius didn’t sound snarky, nor did he sound angry. Instead, in a way... confused? Gentle? Regulus couldn’t tell. Especially not with the growing fear that was piercing through his veins.

Ice was travelling through him, and suddenly everything was rotating round him. There was no oxygen in the air.

Suddenly, a bony, uncomfortable hand landed on his shoulder, grounding him back.

“I will not have my son acting weak. Pull yourself together.”

That was it.

Regulus didn’t know what was happening, but before he knew it, he was running faster than he’d ever before. Breaths were tearing at his lungs, and his legs were burning.

Cold, icy air hit him like a wall, and he suddenly stopped to see the tall gates of the entrance to the manor. 

“Reg! Reg, wait up!”

Sirius’s voice only further made the fear in his chest multiply. Suddenly, he was being hugged, trapped, and he couldn’t breathe.

“Get- get off me!”

The tight arms let go of him, and he could breathe. He could see tears in Sirius’s eyes, running down his cheek. Both of them were shaking in the cold, and Regulus couldn’t keep his jaw from clattering.

“Reg,” he sobbed. Sobbed- something Sirius never did.

“What, Sirius?”

Fear crept slowly up inside him.

Sirius’s arms wrapped around him, and he swallowed tightly, begging for tears to keep themselves from rising.

~~~

Sirius’s bed was much softer than Regulus’s, and it felt like he was sinking in the mattress.

“D’you honestly sleep in this?”

“I’d rather sleep in this than that plank of wood you call a bed,” snorted Sirius, as Regulus felt his hands over the mattress.

A few moments of silence that felt strained against Regulus.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

No he didn’t. Yes he did. Did he?

That feeling rose up again. Might as well get this over with.

“It irritates me when you and mother call me a boy.”

Sirius’s eyebrows shot up. Regulus’s heart skipped a beat. 

This wasn’t a good idea.

“So... you don’t want to be a boy?”

“I- uh- I-” the words were stuck in his throat. It was such a simple question, yet it meant everything to Regulus. “I don’t know! No?!”

“You- you aren’t a boy, then? So are you a girl?”

“No!”

Now Regulus was just being stupid. What else was he supposed to be? He was just overreacting now. He was going to apologise, go to bed and-

“So you’re non binary?”

Regulus’s heart skipped a beat.

“What?”

“Are you non binary?”

“What does that mean?” Regulus asked cautiously, keeping himself as guarded as he could.

“It means you aren’t a girl or a boy. Aren’t you?” Sirius looked at Regulus, whose heart was beating rapidly against his chest. 

“I- I think I am,” he whispered, trying to keep his voice from breaking. “I’m non binary?” He asked, almost as if he was trying the word out on his tongue.

“Are you?”

“Yes- I- I am.”

“So do you want to be a ‘they’ and ‘them’?”

“What?”

“Instead of people calling you ‘he’, I meant.”

“Yes,” muttered Regulus, as realisation dawned on him. Though he felt scared sick, that feeling of tension had never disappeared, leaving him feel so... clear before.

“Mother won’t be okay with this,” he said with a laugh.

There it was. There was the part where Regulus would realise that nothing would work out for them.

Them.

It felt right. Like something finally clicked in place.

“What if mother finds out?” Asked Regulus, not sure if they wanted the answer.

“She won’t. I promise.”

Neither of them knew who started it, but in a second, Regulus and Sirius were hugging tighter than they’d ever before.

“Thanks, Sirius. Thank you so much,” they muttered between sobs.

“Your welcome. Don’t ever forget- I love you.” 

[aparecium-muses]

Name: Regulus Arcturus Black

Fc: Anthony Ramos

Aliases: Reg, Reggie, Leo (only by @blueeyedslytherin), Little lion

Date of Birth: June 25th

Place of Birth: inside of 12 Grimmauld Place

Race: Wizard  Inferi

Gender: Cis Male

Romantic Preference: Demiromantic

Sexual Preference: Pansexual

Height: 5'9

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Greyish blue

Myers Briggs: Shows to the outside world: ISTJ-T when in reality his core personality is: INFJ-T 

Scars: There are scars on the palms of his hands from a time where he went searching through the black library and was cursed with painful blistering boils. Due to his disobedience, (as he was not allowed to touch the books) he was forced to heal naturally leaving behind the discoloration which can mostly be ignored. Besides that, he is mostly unblemished so that he can be married off easily.

Wand: Cypress wood, dragon heart core, 8½, Supple flexibility

Boggart: Himself, he’s afraid of losing himself within the persona he created for the outside world, he already fears that he lost himself and he’s not sure just who he really is anymore. The boggart looks exactly like him there is no differences in appearance. It is prone to physical violence, always attempting to kill Regulus. While this is happening, the boggart exclaims that the real Regulus is a, "fake" swearing that it is the real Regulus. This is suppose to represent Regulus' fear that if he was replaced by something else no one would notice that it wasn't him. His fear of being so easily replaced with none the wiser of it happening, which is then proven when in the class the students and professor shoot off the Riddikulus spell at the real Regulus and not the boggart.

Patronus: N/A?

Animagus: N/A?

House: Slytherin

Blood status: Pureblood

Personality: Regulus is not the nicest of people, (not that others would be aware as half of the not so nice things he keeps silent about) he's judgmental to an extent of others with a sharp tounge to boot. He's prideful and holds predigest against Muggle-borns (werewolves and many others). He doesn’t understand them and half the stuff he finds out about them are either lies from other purebloods or from the few stories Sirius tells him. When he was younger he held a curiosity of muggles and creatures but learned quickly to hide those types of thoughts.

Skills: information gathering, emotional constipation, revenge tactics, strategist

Residence: Hogwarts, 12 Grimmauld place, verse dependent.

Additional Information: 

My Regulus’ background is attached too @itswasteland Sirius’ background. ie, the history of the Ancient house of Black. It can be read about here

Regulus' relationship with his father, while not as volatile as Sirius' relationship with their mother, is still rocky. He was taunted, abused for his more passive way of living and for not taking charge or being a leader. (aka fitting one of the forms of the toxic masculinity role of what a ‘true man’ should be) Regulus' father would call him a girl, or outright say it would've been better if he was born a girl, for being far too soft-spoken to be a man.

This leads to the tw of incest given the fact that if Regulus was born a girl there was a high chance of him being married off to Sirius in hopes of creating the- "purest" Black. This is the fantasy that Regulus' father has, though there is no acting upon it for obvious reasons. (My headcanon of magic can do wonderful things but in pureblood families like this I see them def being transphobic so even though it's possible they'd never use that magic on Regulus.)

Notes:

Once Sirius ran away from home and to the Potters, Regulus was left alone, his only support system swiftly pulled from under him. Even if he wanted to leave Regulus was unable fully knowing that they would come after him. He was terrified, having never been prepared for any of the responsibilities placed on his shoulders. This is why it was easy for his Mother to step in and puppet him from the shadows as this is truly what she had wanted all along. To be the master of the Black family, which is why she had married the more weak-minded Orin in hopes of taking control. Though unlike Orin, Regulus was far more strong minded, she was only able to control him due to his lack of knowledge of how to activly lead the Black family. 

At the age of sixteen, he was marked by Voldemort as punishment for his brothers' disobedience and by his parent's wishes. Noticing Regulus squeamishness of battle Voldomort thought of a better use for Regulus. Being put in charge of battle plans, Regulus was made a general who moved chess pieces behind the scenes. It made fighting in this war far easier for him, as it was easy to feel less guilty over what he was doing when he wasn’t the one making the killing blow. He was a true strategist with his keen mind they may have won the war- that was until he was force to see the truth of just what passively following orders, hiding in the shadows and his belief did to others.

It left him confused more than not, who was Regulus really? What did he truly believe in? His greatest fear became true, in the end, when he looked into the mirror he didn’t know who he was anymore. He saw what his mother wanted, what the other pureblooded families wanted from him, all their expectations resting heavily onto him. But what did he want to do again before he became this? How was he going to survive this? What were his true ambitions? What did he really want?

He couldn’t answer that- until he found out just what lengths Voldemort went too, to stay alive. It was horrendous, it was ugly, and having Kreacher involved only made him want to retch. He was in too deep but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still do what he believed was right.

And so Regulus, freshly turned seventeen made his way into a cave by the seaside with a fake locket and a message-

That Voldemort wasn’t as untouchable as everyone believed him to be.

VERSES

School Year verse: Regulus is a Slytherin student, quidditch seeker and resident of Grimmauld Place that went to Hogwarts from 1972 until his death in 1979.

Gryffindor Verse: The hat, unaccepting of Regulus pleads to be sent to Slytherin, ends up in Gryffindor just like his brother creating great strife at home. Though Regulus has a better time acting like a secret Slytherin and a turn-coat to keep his parents anger at bay.

Ghost Verse: Regulus died in the cave just like in canon but instead of his soul traversing into the light it stays behind and haunts the living. He travels wherever he pleases but mostly stays around Hogwarts and his old home. May from time to time visit people, (Sirius) and check up on how they’re doing.

Time Travel Verse: Regulus touched something he wasn’t supposed too when he was exploring the attic of his ancestral home with Kreacher. Said object sends him careening through time laying waste to the plans he had set for himself. (Story of his time travel is prone to change depending what me and the person I'm writing with wish to come up with)

Ship Tags

Regulus Ship; Regulus & Akira: The Sands of Time Brought me to You

More can be added later

[starbrightblack]

His Story

Main Biography from the Homenum Revlio:

PAST.

Being the eldest son of a prominent pureblood family, Sirius had a close eye kept on him. As he was set to inherit the fortune, expectations for him were higher than for his brother - and he hated it. Even as a child, it felt suffocating. Why would he want his life planned out for him when there were  so many possibilities? He rebelled from an early age - little things at first, like refusing to eat what was cooked by the house elf or deliberately dragging mud across the floor - but Orion and Walburga called it a phase and brushed it off, determined to make their son what they wanted him to be. The others in pureblood society agreed, all while secretly talking about how unruly that Black boy was behind Sirius’ parents backs. It wasn’t until he went to school and got sorted into Gryffindor that his mother and father truly gave up on him, turning their focus to Regulus instead. Sirius loved Hogwarts - there was no one breathing down his neck, he had good mates, and he knew how to have a laugh. He excelled in his classes without really trying, spending most of his time joking around with the Marauders. When their seventh year came and James started straightening out, Sirius desperately held on to what used to be. But when the Map was taken from them and James didn’t agree to a plan to get it back, Sirius knew their lives were changing. Outside the walls of school, Voldemort was gaining traction and when Dumbledore approached them about a secret rebellion, Sirius jumped at the chance for more moments of recklessness with his friends. Pranks and war - they sort of went hand-in-hand, didn’t they?

PRESENT.

Sirius never joined the Order for the cause - it had always been a way to hold onto James and his other friends longer. As he fought, he grew to understand just what they were fighting for, but it’s never completely sunken in. He’d grown up in privilege - so he couldn’t fully relate to the tribulations of muggleborns. Still, he devoted himself to the Order and it’s become something important to him now . A bit too hot-headed and impulsive, he will never get asked to be in the inner-circle like James, but Sirius doesn’t mind that much. He doesn’t want to be the one making decisions - he just wants to be the one throwing hexes. And there’s something else he brings to the table that no one else can: what it’s like to think like a Death Eater. If he knows his family at all, he knows they’re supportive of Voldemort; his brother has even gone missing for what Sirius can only assume is the Dark Lord’s cause. Having spent a lifetime in their clutches, he knows what to look for - he knows what to expect. That’s more valuable than anyone knows - maybe people should start listening to him more.

My application material:

NAME: Sirius Black AGE: 22 Birthday: November 3, 1959 Height: 5′9″ Wand Arm: Right hand BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor OCCUPATION: Employee at Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour PERSONALITY: ESFP (The Entertainer)

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis-male, He/Him. Sirius is bisexual, and while it isn’t something he hides, it also isn’t something he advertises. He’s been accused of being willing to flirt with anything that moves. While he finds that accusation unfair, he knows it’s not always untrue.

PERSONALITY:

Sirius has always been too big for some people to handle, and his response has always been that it isn’t his problem. Toning himself down for a situation is easier said that done, especially given Sirius’ tendency to speak first and think after. That impulsiveness has been there since he was young, and it can be a big disadvantage to him, especially when combined with his stubbornness. Sirius will say something without thinking of consequences, then dig in his heels about whatever it was rather than admit he might be wrong. This also means that he’ll sometimes go in-depth with planning for something that started out as a joke comment. He doesn’t know when to quit.

Choosing to instead focus on the positive, Sirius would argue that he isn’t impulsive but rather instinctual. He doesn’t always think things through before he does them, but that has worked out well for him, especially during duels.

Sirius would consider himself incredibly loyal, but the shadow side of that might be that Sirius can be a bit possessive. He makes strong assumptions that such loyalty will always be reciprocated, and he has a hard time understanding when that isn’t the case.

It frustrates him greatly that it feels like people around him focus on his flaws and don’t appreciate his strengths because he’s a fairly gifted duelist and fast thinker. Plus, his transfiguration skills are pretty great. Sirius never had to study in school because things came easy to him, and now that he’s out of school, it seems like everyone else is still “studying” at war when Sirius just wants to make a decision and go do.

Sirius doesn’t have a lot of patience for time or for people. When he gets frustrated or otherwise emotionally overwhelmed, it tends to make him rash and angry. Sirius would respond to one of his friends getting hurt, for example, by shouting at whoever their patrol partner was that should have been protecting them. He knows he’s no diplomat, but Sirius spent his formative years purposefully being the opposite. He can’t suddenly change it now.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: (child abuse tw, but it’s minimally referenced)

Sirius spent his early days fighting against anything and everything. His father was once someone Sirius looked up to, but he doesn’t remember a time now of it being fondly. Instead Orion was someone to look at with fear, someone to flinch away from when he raised his voice or his hand. Sirius didn’t always know what he did wrong in those early days, but he quickly learned that sometimes it was better to be wrong on purpose because at least it felt earned. His mother was just as bad but in different ways. Sirius tended to hear her screaming more often, but he flat out ran once when he was nine because he knew one of her punishments was coming. Walburga was more creative than her husband, but she was also more of a perfectionist. Thanks to her, Sirius felt policed constantly.

His only shelter in those days was Regulus. Most days it was the two of them against the world.  They didn’t always publicly get along, especially when Sirius’ antics landed them both in trouble. Still, they had each other on nights when it hurt to be alone or the nightmares crept in. They could sit side by side in the dark and whisper about what life would be like someday  when they had magic of their own. Hogwarts changed everything for Sirius, and while that was mostly positive, it unfortunately meant that he lost Regulus. He couldn’t talk to his brother anymore; the language was gone. Even over the summers, things could never be the same. When Sirius ran away, he didn’t even tell Regulus he was going (although to be fair, he didn’t realize he was until a moment blew up too big with his parents to ever turn back). While he spent the rest of the summer wishing he had, the two didn’t even look at each other when they were first in the Great Hall together again at school. That childhood bond felt like it had finally severed completely.

The one person who seemed to humor Sirius at family events when he was young was Uncle Alphard, who always stuck out just a little bit. Sirius remembered hearing whispered about how Alphard was ‘peculiar,’ which wouldn’t have been a problem, except that he wouldn’t put duty first and produce an heir, which was a problem to a family as obsessed with legacy as the Blacks. Sirius had loved to hide in his shadow to avoid Orion and Walburga. He died a year after Sirius ran away, but Sirius had never imagined he’d be left Alphard’s fortune.

He immediately tried to use that fortunate to try and pay back the Potters for taking him in. While he’d suspected they wouldn’t accept anything, it choked up Sirius that they insisted that would be taking money from family. In many ways, Sirius considers James as much a brother as Regulus. Maybe they didn’t have the childhood history, but they had the important stuff. They had shared values and adventures, similar ideas and likeminded attitudes. At least they used to. Some days Sirius isn’t sure he knows who James is anymore. He doesn’t know what happened to the carefree James he used to know. Regardless, he isn’t about to let him go the way he once did Regulus.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Sirius has always been a bit self-absorbed about his role within the Order. He has always known he’d never make the inner circle, but he hadn’t wanted to. In school, Sirius had cultivated a careful rebel-without-a-cause attitude. He has a cause now, but he’s still a rebel first and foremost. Of course, Sirius is fighting for muggles and muggleborns. They just aren’t his first priority. Sirius’ first priority is fighting against the pureblood society he was raised in because he sees nothing good about it. The two causes aren’t necessarily the same thing. He often feels frustrated by the lack of progress because it feels like the people he grew up resenting just continue to grow more powerful. He sees no progress for the real cause nor progress for his own. Much of the time, Sirius would like to just do something big. If they can’t make progress, he’d like to at least make a statement, but he doesn’t even seem to be able to do that. Too much fine print in what’s supposed to be vigilante justice.

SURVIVAL:

If you asked Sirius what his plan was for tomorrow, he’d says the present is all that matters. That’s how he lives his life in most aspects. No matter what the war looks like, Sirius doesn’t look forward and see a bleak future because he doesn’t think that far away.

Right now, he’s living in an apartment that’s technically in Muggle London but as close to the Leaky Cauldron as he could find. He lives there alone and likes that only one of his neighbors complains about the loud music. He prefers muggle music, but the occasional wizarding rock album is similar enough to not give anyone pause. Sirius can mostly cook for himself, although his cooking does tend to be a bit basic. He can do pasta and protein with the occasional veggie when he feels like he has to. He can, though, make a mean cocktail, and that’s a skill Sirius has used often.

RELATIONSHIPS:

James was the first person Sirius had ever really found that understood him completely and totally. He saw James as this magnetic person he always wanted to have around. As they got older, things shifted, but Sirius never wants to lose that. Right now he feels like James is beginning to pull away and leave him behind. For what, Sirius isn’t sure. Stuffy meetings and worrying about people who take you for granted seems ridiculous to Sirius, but he tries not to say anything. James might act the part, but Sirius knows deep down he has to still be the same person. But Sirius has lost a brother before because of growing differences. He doesn’t want to do it again.

Remus is something that Sirius has always admired and thought the best of. Lately things have changed as Remus seems to make choices that Sirius doesn’t understand, and he also can’t figure out if they’re actually Remus’ choices or things being dictated to him. Sirius doesn’t like the idea that Remus is spending all his time around werewolves and wanna-be Death Eaters. Sirius doesn’t trust it and doesn’t like that Remus doesn’t have anyone with him to have his back. Lately he’s had a nagging thought that he wants to push down. If Remus won’t talk about it, what isn’t he saying? What’s going on when the Order isn’t around? Some days Sirius is afraid to find out. Others he can’t believe himself for ever doubting.

Then there’s Peter. Sirius has always suspected he’s too loud for Peter, too much. But Peter has been a loyal friend for years, always there when Sirius needs him. Lately he doesn’t see Peter as much, and while that’s hard, at least Sirius doesn’t have to worry about who he’s with. Peter’s too smart to accept a mission that sends him undercover among people with sharp dark magic skills and sharper tongues.

Lately Sirius has become enamored with the things Dorcas says, enjoying the lack of care in her voice. He remembers those days. He remembers when he wasn’t trying to temper himself to help James keep an image. She seems to agree with his frustration about the lack of progress. Her methods perhaps seem questionable, but in Sirius’ experience, the best things in life often do. He wishes the rest of his friends would remember that.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Sirius grew up being taught that muggles were inherently primitive and uncivilized, despite the neighbors sharing their very walls at 12 Grimmauld Place being muggles. He learned pretty quickly to fix his own perspective on that in school, especially when surrounded by supposedly inferior magic users like Lily who were so gifted. It was one more reason his parents were wrong, and Sirius did so love when his parents were wrong.

He had a harder time wrapping his head around the idea that not everyone could just decide to  be something different than what they were used to. Sirius always had a safety net to catch them when he was about to fall. When the final straw hit and he ran away from home, he had the Potter household to turn to, an equally pureblood, equally rich family who had the means to take him in. At a critical point when he needed his own money, Sirius received his inheritance from Alphard’s passing. Sirius has always managed to bounce up when he was at a crossroads that could have ended disastrously. The idea that someone else could be in a tricky situation with an “obvious right choice” and choose wrong because they didn’t have the resources to choose right is completely foreign to Sirius.

This sense of choice also fits into Sirius’ opinions on werewolves. He’d grown up hearing they were nothing but savage monsters, but Remus had never seemed that way. Once the other Marauders had become animagi, Sirius saw the full moons as proof that while Remus as a werewolf was wild, he was still Remus in some ways. They needed a different form, but the wolf didn’t attack them on sight. The knowledge, though flawed, gave Sirius a strong believe that the choices Remus and any other werewolf made on a full moon could be changed with the right leadup and decisions.

Back on the subject of muggles, Sirius has tried to embrace muggle culture, but he’s done so in a way that almost borders on fetish. He has spent time in muggle spaces, but it’s usually bars, movies, and other places that give him some kind of entertainment or satisfaction. He’s embraced muggle transportation, even if it did mean tweaking the motorcycle as soon as he bought it. Sirius would like to believe he has completely understood muggle culture, but in some ways he still holds on to that muggles-are-primitive mindset without realizing it. He doesn’t think they’re lesser; he just only pays attention to the things that can be of use to him.