happy holidays and a happy new year, @ko-rka!! i am your secret santa for @fmasecretsanta ^^
i drew for you emo punk ed fashion, cats, and stars... and let me tell you, it's been SUCH a pleasure drawing as i've listened to your mcr playlist!! i ended up liking a lot of songs on spotify back-to-back, but some of my favorites were "to the end" and "sleep"
i hope you like it, and i'm wishing you the best for the new year! :]
will it ever be enough? when someone loves you, you feel something curl inside of you, sour and whiplike, angry at being unheard. they don't really love you, they love this facsimile you have ensconced in your rabbit body. they will chop up the bits of you looking for luck and never find the good soul you promise - their love slides off. you're viscera; you have spent a lifetime promising the blood is art.
oh but when someone hates you - well, they're right to. and you'd trip over your little grassknot legs for them. begging them to reconsider. you feel it all knifeedge, spinepoint straight through you. they're the ones who see the real you, after all; and if they can love you, you might finally feel worth something.
but if they do love you in the end, after all of that, after your heart like a fawn opens to gutter under them - you've fooled them, and it isn't worth anything anymore. they've just gone and fallen for it. the love slides right off.
once, you heard a line in a musical about being abandoned. you laughed at the time, unnerved. your voice a keen; too shaky to be candid.
will it ever be enough. will the love ever diffuse through your skin and sink into your marrow. are you even capable of feeling that - of feeling cared for - or are you still waiting, even right now, for the hunter to draw the bow and arrow. if you trust that love, even once, and are wrong, you know exactly what will happen.
and somehow you know - you'll never be able to fix that, once it's been broken.
call me a basic white bitch for this but the first stanza of bury a firend by billie eilish fits so well with early regicide. like cmon you cannot tell me that doesn't fit with artificer being confused about sk's friendliness. plus the last line ("when we all fall asleep, where do we go?") could be something to do with her massacre and the fact that the scavs she killed are still in the cycle
HELLO?? THIS IS SO PERFECT ACTUALLY??? i was not familiar with this song, so i youtubed it, and.... the creepy ominous atmosphere, the quiet intensity... ? it feels like one of arti's nightmares, where she's just finally reaching her breaking point. her rage toward scavengers has burned out, and she has no hatred left for anyone but herself. she's tired of fighting , but she can't stop. she wants to accept SK's mercy but she just doesn't know how. she's too broken to be worth fixing, and she's scared and confused and frustrated at him for still trying.
"bury the hatchet or bury a friend".... that is literally the choice he keeps giving her, isn't it?
It crystallized in her mind then, the moment his lips touched hers: from that moment on, it would be them, together. Against anything and everything that could come at them. Not that there was ever any doubt. He was the missing piece of her heart - her one and only one.