#slime story aside

[mads-is-tired]

i’ve had my slime story drink bottle for four days (i love it) and the lid just broke 😭😭

my dad, however, managed to fix it by melting the plastic

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! A few weeks ago i caught wind of "Delicious in Dungeon". I'm not really an anime person, but I am a TTRPG, CRPG, and cooking person- . And holy shit. It is so good i  convinced my partner to binge read the whole thing. I'm caught up on dungeon meshi, the anime, and just yesterday i also finished dungeon meshi, the manga.

Its rare to come across a serialized story that is so thematically cohesive and knows its characters so well. All of the bonus content like the artbooks and monster tidbits are just the icing on top.

So, inspired by Ryōko Kui's writing and illustration I'm going to attempt to create a recipe for every single Delicious in Dungeon recipe!-

Today that means Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot is on the menu!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot?” YOU MIGHT ASKThis is one of the pricier dishes until we get to the kelpies and dragons of the menu-

Rock lobster tail

Porcini mushrooms

Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus

Small potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water

OPTIONAL: your choice of dipping sauces

There was a crossover/promotional event in Shibuya which featured various realworld dishes from the series. They had one for Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom, but they used prawns.  while those cook better in a hotpot, they also didn't look enough like the scorpion for me, they also used udon noodles for the slime and a seaweed/kale(?) mixture for the algae. If you're looking for substitutes due to price or availability i would start with those ingredients.

AND, “what does a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKI hope Senshi would forgive me for technically cooking the lobster outside the pot, once he tastes it.

Okay im always partial to veggies but wowowowowowowoowowowow the snow fungus and the mushrooms tasted soooooooooooo good in the lobster stock

A nice delicate layering of different flavors

Try to get a bite with the lobster meat and shiitake together, dip in butter then chili- trust me

Its up to you what texture you prefer if you want to put the noodles in at the end or put them in halfway through the meal. Either way dont go for eating those first as theyre very filling

I think this would pair well with a citrus drink, something light and clarifying

This would also pair well with being extremely high and hungry (if you feel safe cooking while inebriated lol) very calorically dense

For the trial run I did one lobster tail in the pot with everything else, and one lobster tail off to the side to be picked apart. The former is more in spirit with a hotpot, but it got rubbery as the meal went on and lost its nice taste. The latter may be a bit more work but all you have to do still is boil it and set it aside. I found it held up much better. It was also easier to get inside the shell.

. If you have hardshell maine lobster available, i think it would be superior to rock lobster (keep in mind crustaceans will get rubbery if cooked too long in the pot) . Green onions and/or lotus root would make excellent additions

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From getting the ingredients out to sitting down and eating, id say it took maybe 30 minutes max? It'd vary on how fast you can prep vegetables and get the various implements heated.

Hotpots are not something i do very often as i'm usually just feeding myself. I think thats why a hotpot makes perfect sense to start the series off. If you want to set the tone of "take care of yourself, eat food with others, and use what you have" (generally speaking) there is nothing more simplistic, flexible, and defeats-the-purpose-if-you-eat-it-alone than a hotpot. Gather around and let your friends bring ingredients to the pot if you want to fill your heart up extra full <3

I'm doing something different here because unlike previous recipes where i used a bunch of different sources and made my own recipe out of hodge-podging it, or just used another persons recipe entirely if they did it really well, i made this more whole-cloth based off of what i had available, what I could discover through research, and my existing knowledge. Instead of the recipe being 50/50 original, this one is more 20/80. So. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys :D 

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 Rock lobster tails

3 Porcini mushrooms

2 Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus (a good handful, should rehydrate in the hotpot)

2 Small waxy potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water/lobster stock

Method:

Lightly rinse all of your vegetables beforehand and let them dry.

Vertically slice the porcini mushrooms. Cut off and dice the stems of the shiitake mushrooms. You can slice the tops if youd like.

Peel and cube the potatoes, roughly an inch each.

For the lobster tails; Boil a pot of salted water. Keep the shell on. Weigh the largest tail and add 1 minute of cooking time for every ounce of weight.

When done, strain the lobster from the water. Pour the water into your hotpot as the base. Serve the lobster on the side so people can pick the meat out to dip into the hotpot.

Bring the hotpot to a simmer. Add the potato cubes, snow fungus, mushrooms, and noodles.

OPTIONAL: this wasnt in the show, but its fun having sauces on the side :) i had oyster sauce, dry seasoned chili dip, melted butter, and soy sauce available

[thewertsearch]

Familial Determinism

Or: let's make wild, uninformed guesses about the troll Ancestors, based solely on the lives of their descendants!

As a bearer of the lowest blood on the hemospectrum, Aradia’s ancestor was probably as poor as she is. She may have been an archeologist like her descendant, assuming the field existed in her era, but I'm much more interested in her potential necromancy.

On the instruction of your ANCESTORS, you have recovered MYSTERIOUS TECHNOLOGY from the ruins, and convinced a friend to adapt it into a GAME THAT WILL BRING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR CIVILIZATION.

See, due to her bloodline, Granny Megido is the most likely ancestor to be behind the Voices. She's the only one who can claim a direct relationship to Aradia, and I think she was probably still around in the modern era - as a ghost, of course - guiding her young protege, as she worked to trigger the apocalypse.

What's your story, Granny Meg? How did a lowblood medium discover the secrets of Sgrub, centuries before it arrived? How much did you know back then - and how much influence do you still have, even now?

If Alternia's past is anything like its present - and it certainly seems to be - then I can't see Tavros's ancestor surviving there for long. If he survived to adulthood, then it was probably as a peaceful nomad, or perhaps some sort of ranger.

Either way, I don't think he'd involve himself with other trolls, instead preferring to spend time with his planet's wildlife. Basically, I'm picturing Snow White with a mohawk.

Sollux’s ancestor is undoubtedly still a techhead. I know it's centuries in the past, but this is proto-Sollux we're talking about. He'd invent technology if he had to.

Actually, that might have been his role. He could have been one of Alternia's first engineers, leveraging his Sgrub foreknowledge to contribute to Alternia's technological advancement.

Congratulations, Sollux Senior - you helped turn a nation of pirates into a space empire.

Karkat's an interesting one. In a more primitive society - ie, one without Imperial Drones - it might have been easier for him to hide his blood color.

...actually, he might not even have Karkat's blood color. It's possible that Karkat's candy red mutation is unique to him, and the other Vantas has yellow-green blood, like his Trollian position implies he should. That would result in an ancestor with a very different social position to Karkat, and the two could be substantially different as a result.

Nepeta’s current lifestyle would translate perfectly to a primitive Alternia. Her ancestor could easily still live in a cave – and since shipping is probably her calling, too, I'm picturing her as an accomplished matchmaker.

Kanaya’s situation is rather unique. Jadebloods are rare, and inextricably linked to the Mother Grub, so her ancestor has some of the strongest ties to her counterpart.

We're actually aware of an ancient Mother Grub, who may have been alive in the time of the ancestors - which hints at a relationship between Kanaya's ancestor and the next troll on our list.

That would be Terezi's ancestor, whose symbol adorns the Doomsday Scale. This device was probably a collaboration between the Pyrope and Maryam ancestors. Its purpose is unknown, but the Gate symbol is proof that someone had Sgrub foreknowledge. Curious.

Anyway, aside from this side hustle, Pyrope was probably a legislacerator. I wonder if the Alternian legal system was as broken then as it is now?

Equius... well, I don't really know, actually. He certainly feels like the kind of guy who’d model himself off his ancestor, so he was probably a pro-hemospectrum horse enthusiast.

Gamzee’s ancestor could have gone one of two ways. If Sopor Slime existed back in early Alternia, he might have been as docile as his descendant used to be. If it didn’t, he was probably the exact kind of bloodthirsty monster that Gamzee is currently regressing into.

I know which option I'm putting my money on, and it's the one that would make Gamzee proud of his 'Subjugglator' ancestors. Can you guess which?

Eridan’s ancestor is the Orphaner, which makes me think he has a similar role as a slayer of lusi. My best guess is that he killed the custodians of adult trolls.

Feferi is an odd case, because her ancestor would probably be an extremely famous historical empress. Fuchsia blood is so rare that Feferi is literally the only modern troll who has it, so I wouldn't be surprised if her ancestor was revered in her time.

What did you do to Alternia, Pexies? Did you help make it what it is, or - like your descendant - did you try to make it better?

[silmarillisms]

Orcs in Rings of Power

There are no fewer than eight different origin stories for the Uruk in Middle-Earth from the collected writings of Tolkien in stories, letters, and published works. In his various writings, we are told all of the following at one point or another:

Orcs were created out of stone.

Orcs were made of heat and slime.

Orcs were talking beasts.

Orcs were made by Melkor dispersing his power.

Orcs were children of the earth, a race of their own taken by Melkor and twisted, corrupted over time.

Orcs were fallen Maiar.

Orcs were bred from corrupted Men.

Orcs were bred from fallen and corrupted Elves.

Today, we will discuss that final explanation.

Tolkien originally writes in the "Annals of Aman":

"But indeed a darker tale some yet tell in Eressëa, saying that the Orcs were verily in their beginning of the Quendi themselves, a kindred of the Avari unhappy whom Morgoth cozened, and then made captive, and so enslaved them, and so brought them utterly to ruin. For, saith Pengolod, Melkor could never since the Ainulindalë' make of his own aught that had life or the semblance of life, and still less might he do so after his treachery in Valinor and the fullness of his own corruption. But indeed a darker tale some yet tell in Eressëa, saying that the Orcs were verily in their beginning of the Quendi themselves, a kindred of the Avari unhappy whom Morgoth cozened, and then made captive, and so enslaved them, and so brought them utterly to ruin. For, saith Pengolod, Melkor could never since the Ainulindalë' make of his own aught that had life or the semblance of life, and still less might he do so after his treachery in Valinor and the fullness of his own corruption."

Out of all of the available explanations, Christopher Tolkien chose the one given above when he was transcribing his father's work into what would become the published Silmarillion.

In the Silmarillion, Christopher writes:

"Yet this is held true by the wise of Eressëa, that all those of the Quendi who came into the hands of Melkor, ere Utumno was broken, were put there in prison, and by slow arts of cruelty were corrupted and enslaved; and thus did Melkor breed the hideous race of the Orcs in envy and mockery of the Elves, of whom they were afterwards the bitterest foes.

We will set aside for now the fact that Tolkien, after finishing the Annals, scribbled a note to himself stating "Alter this. Orcs are not Elvish." There are also notes in Volume X of The History of Middle-Earth regarding whether or not Melkor could utterly corrupt the work of Eru. Tolkien seems to struggle with himself in those paragraphs regarding the answer.

At some point, an explanation must be chosen and the above explanation is the one that was selected by both Christopher Tolkien for the Silmarillion and the writers for The Rings of Power.

So, let's move forward with some other things we know about the various subtypes of Orcs from the published texts. We do get some interesting snippets of them in the published Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Some people seem to think that orcs are mindless slaves, wholly tied to the will of Sauron and the other forces that have historically enslaved them and that the depiction of them in Rings of Power as willful and conniving, with families and social units of their own, is counter to Tolkien's written canon.

I would argue that nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, the portrayal of Orcs in Rings of Power is far closer to both JRR and Christopher Tolkien's interpretation of canon than any of the Peter Jackson movies. Let's look at some of what we're given by the text:

"For the Orcs had life and multiplied after the manner of the Children of Ilúvatar; and naught that had life of its own, nor the semblance of life, could ever Melkor make since his rebellion in the Ainulindalë before the Beginning: so say the wise. And deep in their dark hearts the Orcs loathed the Master whom they served in fear, the maker only of their misery. This it may be was the vilest deed of Melkor, and the most hateful to Ilúvatar. The Silmarillion, Illustrated by Ted Nasmith Edition, pg. 65

There are a couple key takeaways from this passage:

Orcs breed with themselves to multiply, like Elves and Men.

Orcs might have reveled in their evil deeds, but they also loathed Melkor, who had created them only to serve as slaves.

This, then, begins to make sense of the choices made by the writers of The Rings of Power regarding the orcs already. If they were originally bred of corrupted Quendi, it makes sense that they see Adar, one of the original corrupted Quendi from whom their race would have sprung, as their true Father.

If the Orcs loathed being enslaved by Melkor, who they were terrified of, of course they would initially take a great deal of umbridge with being re-enslaved by Sauron, for whom they had no respect.

We are told directly in "The Nature of Middle-Earth" that when Sauron first attempted to bring the Orcs of the east beneath his command, who had scattered long ago, that they laughed at him and rejected him until he left his fair form and cowed them forcibly into submission.

So then the scene where the Orcs choose to follow Adar instead of Sauron begins to make a great deal of sense as well.

Regarding Orc family units and social structures, we receive the following directly from Tolkien in a letter written to Mrs. Mundy:

"There must have been orc-women."

Again, if Orcs reproduce in the manner of Men and Elves, that is the only thing that makes any sort of sense. It's not like they produce by budding, in the interpretation of canon that both Christopher Tolkien and The Rings of Power are going with. Notably, Peter Jackson seems to eschew this as close to canon as we can get because it follows the published Silmarillion explanation in The Two Towers, where Orcs emerge fully formed from what appear to be slime sacs in the ground.

While reading the published Lord of the Rings trilogy, we can also be certain of the following:

Orcs feel fear. They specifically fear the Nazgul.

Orcs become tired and grouchy on long marches.

War is not the ideal state of the Orcs, just as it is not the ideal state of any of the "more civilized" races.

Orcs are capable of friendship and even have good memories with their friends.

Consider this excerpt from The Two Towers:

‘No, I don’t know,’ said Gorbag’s voice. ‘The messages go through quicker than anything could fly, as a rule. But I don’t enquire how it’s done. Safest not to. Grr! Those Nazgul give me the creeps. And they skin the body off you as soon as look at you, and leave you all cold in the dark on the other side. But He likes ’em; they’re His favourites nowadays, so it’s no use grumbling. I tell you, it’s no game serving down in the city.’ ‘You should try being up here with Shelob for company,’ said Shagrat. ‘I’d like to try somewhere where there’s none of ’em. But the war’s on now, and when that’s over things may be easier.’ ‘It’s going well, they say.’ ‘They would,’ grunted Gorbag. ‘We’ll see. But anyway, if it does go well, there should be a lot more room. What d’you say? – if we get a chance, you and me’ll slip off and set up somewhere on our own with a few trusty lads, somewhere where there’s good loot nice and handy, and no big bosses.’ ‘Ah!’ said Shagrat. ‘Like old times.’ ‘Yes,’ said Gorbag. ‘But don’t count on it. I’m not easy in my mind. As I said, the Big Bosses, ay,’ his voice sank almost to a whisper, ‘ay, even the Biggest, can make mistakes. Something nearly slipped, you say. I say, something has slipped. And we’ve got to look out. Always the poor Uruks to put slips right, and small thanks. But don’t forget: the enemies don’t love us any more than they love Him, and if they get topsides on Him, we’re done too. But see here: when were you ordered out?’ The Two Towers, pg. 444

It seems obvious to me, just in this paragraph penned by JRR himself, that Orcs were not intended to be entirely mindless rabble. Shagrat and Gorbag reminisce about better times when they weren't bound to the will of Sauron or Saruman. They talk about running away, going somewhere quieter and (perhaps) more peaceful (aside from the aforementioned looting) after the war.

They mention that they're afraid. They mention that Elves and Men hate them as much as they hate Sauron and how difficult that will make doing anything of their own accord.

All this to say, the interpretation of Orcs in Rings of Power is absolutely lore-appropriate. I think Glug's point of view will be fascinating. The scene with the female and baby orc are much closer to the version of Orcs laid out by the Silmarillion and the trilogy than PJ's orc sacs in his movie trilogy - which doesn't make his film trilogy bad, it's just using one of the alternative explanations for orc reproduction despite Saruman asserting that orcs were once Elves, which seems... odd, but alright.

The Rings of Power isn't being revisionist. It isn't whitewashing Orcs or going beyond canon to make them seem more relatable or more sympathetic. It's following the Silmarillion in some regards with pretty astounding accuracy.

[zwolfgames]

Yandere!various!That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime x gn!cat!reader

Requested: JosephCruz118

(Warnings: Forced marrige, neko reader, reincarnation.)

(3rd person POV)

Welp, there it went. The end of your life.

Just like that.

A strange way to begin, but thats what happens in the tragidy that is your life.

You were graduating, finally, after years of being a student, you could walk out of this building and live.

Well... Your classmates would. But you just so happned to get the short end of the stick.

You were simply walking down a hall, when some... pshycothic man pushed you out of the open window.

Sending you pummeling down three stories.

The last things you heard were some disgusting cracks and screams... just screams.

Embracing the sudden coldness of the world, you felt life leaving you.

'Wish I'd have landed on my feet for once in my damm life... Maybe feel loved for once...' Your last toughts echo trough your head, a thumping pain in your cracked skull.

And then it all just fades. 

Thats it, the end of Y/N L/N.

Missed by many, but never got far in life.

--------

A fresh breath of air enters your lungs.

You shock awake, laying on a warm grassy field. The green blades carresing your skin as the wind moves them. 

The sun shines brilliantly above you, almost blinding you as you flutter your (e/c) eyes open.

'What in the fuck-knuckles is this bright nonsense?' You squeeze your eyes shut once more and groan in displeasure. This was not what you wanted to see in death.

You once again open your eyes, feeling a bit light sensetive at the moment. But you hold your hand to your forehead, blocking out the suns harsh rays.

After a moment of adjusting to the new lighting, you take your hand away and look around.

Big grass field... Surrounded by forest. Huh, what a strange afterlife.

You take another breath of fresh air, crisp... crisp air. No pollution noticable.

'Yea... Now hold up a minute.' You talk to yourself in your head, standing up and looking at your hands. No blood, no rocks or dirt.

Yea, somethings wrong here.

Especially that elongated feeling in your tailbone. Weird.... thats new-

Oh my god its a tail!?

You screech in confusion and grab the fuzzy thing. Slender but long, standing to make sure you keep balance. No no no! The afterlife turned you into a cat(girl/boy/YN)! A damm furry!

Some birds hiding in the grass fly away at your noise, some almost touching the top of your head.

If you had a tail then... oh no..

Your hands quickly reach for your head. And yep, two cat ears. Actually, biologically, on your head. You even felt them twitch in your hands.

After cringing for a good two minutes you calmed down and just accepted fate. It could have been worse, you could have been a worm.

So... what to do now? You couldn't just stay on this random grass field for the rest of your afterlife...

Or maybe thats what you've been sentenced to, grassfield duty.

Were they expecting you to chomp grass like a cow? Who knows... Where are the instructions? You would like to read them.

But no instructions came... reminds you of school projects...

You sigh and begin walking... towards... well, forwards. Where does this go? Into that forest? Yes.

But what else were you supposed to do. Wait around like a dumbass. No thanks.

So there you went, walking trough the thick grass towards the even thicker forest.

Birds greeted you with chirps as you entered the foliage. Forest greens filled your vision as you stepped trough a bush. Getting little unnoticable cuts on your exposed legs.

But.. It was peacefull. Birds, insects. The noises of nature really made this place feel real. was this even the afterlife?

A vision maybe?

Or... were you reborn?

How silly would that be-

"Watch out!" Some loud shrill voice alerts you of a quickly incoming troll or something on a.. on a wolf.

You jump aside and the wolf rider passes you.

He brings the wolf to a stop and hops off, walking back towards you. Ah, not a troll, this looks like a goblin, if you can trust those movies you've seen.

"Hey?" You wave awkardly. The shorter goblin smiles brightly with his two tusk like teeth.

"Hey! I haven't seen you before! Are you an adventurer?" The goblin asks exitdely. 

"Not.. really. i'm a bit lost. Where is this?" You ask, it feels as if your voice has barely seen use. As if its all new. As if this body is new.

Maybe it is.

"You don't know where you are? Well, you're in the Jura forest right now. I'm from Rimuru City, I can take you there, maybe you'll be able to orient from there?" The little goblin offers you with a friendly smile.

You nod, not that cautious as you should have been were this your old life. YOLO, am i right?

The goblin helps you onto his giant wolf and you hold on, like asked. The big canine speeds off trough the forest and you feel alive for once, wind in your face, cutting against your face like sharp yet harmless blades.

After a bit of running around on the wolf, you reach a nice looking medival village, lots of fantasy looking monsters running around, building things and working.

Well damm... This looks better managed then soceity.

The goblin that lead you here looks behind him to check up on you, to see if youre still on the wolf before enetering the crowd and bringing you somewhere.

He brings you all the way to what seems to be the towns centre. Gesturing for you to hop off here.

You hesitantly nod, awkardly smiling at the goblin as a form of thanks.

Welp, now you were in a random city, full of magical looking monsters and whatnot.

You hear the magical residents go about their day, smells of foods, contruction and just random things fill your weirdly sensetive nose.

Just as you were about to enter the building in front of you, as it looked like a town hall, you felt a squishy thing bump against your leg.

You look down, eyes widening at this small, light blue slime. Tapping your leg for attention.

"Uh... Can I help you?" You ask it in confusion, not reallu expecting it to react.

"Yes! You're new, aren't you? I'm Rimuru! Welcome to my city!" The blue slime speaks. It speaks!

"I.. yes? My name's Y/N." You awkardly repsond to the talking slime- Rimuru. What wonders does this world have in store for you?

"Great! I'll show you around!" Rimuru speaks in an exited manner... but he doesn't have a mouth... Telepathy, maybe?

Whatever. That day, Rimuru showed you around his city full of fantasy folk. Introducing you to all kinds of people, some of his trusted compagnions and whatnot.

But thats... how you ended up like this...

----------------

"Y/N. You can't go. Whats wrong with the village? We can give you everything!" Benimaru protests as he catches the arm holding your bag. The tall kijin holds onto you desparatly.

After three months of living in this village, you got to know pretty much everyone. And let's just say, they really like 'the cute demi-cat'.

Wich is why, when you planned to finally go explore some more of this weird world. You got met with a lot of complaints.

They've already set up guards by the city exits, you've been monitored for the past two days and now Benimaru was here to personally stop you.

"Let go, I just want to explore." You sigh, done with this weird protection you're receiving.

"No can do orders from the boss... that I absoluty agree with. You aren't ready for the rest of this world." The kijin repeats those lame words. He's grinning like always, just happy to be able to hold you.

Your ears flatten on your head and he 'awws'. How agitating.

"Come on, just stay and let me pet you!" The red kijin coees and sets you back down in your house. A babyproofed house.

Wich was annoying as hell! You didn't even get a knife sharp enough to cut the crust off your bread!

Benimaru takes the liberty of ruffling your hair. He's what you'd call... a big brother. Only diffrence, is that this one doesn't let you do stupid things.

But he wasn't the worst.... You'd say Rimuru was the most peacefull.. But Shuna was determined to get you to marry her.... And Gabiru had the idea that you were his bestest friend ever.

Wich is a reason to why you weren't allowed to leave. The people in the city got too attached to you. Maybe they found you friendly? 

But whatever the reason, you wanted out. They didn't let you do anything dangerous! Wich sounds stupid but you wnated to go explore too!

As if sensing your toughts, Benimaru grabbed yoy into a bear hug, his form engulfs you, you're barely visible. He loves it like this.

"Let go." You demand, voice muffled by his sleeves.

"No." He smiles down at you, nuzzeling his head into your hair.

You huff in annoyance. All this attention was nice... for a week. But it's as if they never, ever got bored of you.

It seemed impossible in your head. No-one takes intrest in you for this long.

Yet these fantasy people did. And it was weird. Like they had it all planned out.

Wich they did, but you didn't know of the plan. Wich Rimuru vowed to keep that way. He knew of the dangers of the world, and you weren't ready.

Better off with him and his friends.

You get snapped out of your toughts by the door of your house opening, speak of the devil. Rimuru. In his human form, today.

"Y/N! I see you've changed your mind yes?" He smiles at you, the... well... you still didn't figure out his gender... but since he said he used to be a man.. in his past life.. you just rolled with that because They/them takes longer to write.

"No, I'm just.... being blocked, at the moment." You speak from between Benimaru's arms as he doens't plan to let go any time soon.

"Well thats a shame. Don't you like it here?" Rimuru asks with a pout. Golden eyes looking straight at you.

"I do, i just want to see more." You asnwer what you always do. But ofcourse he just shakes his head.

"You're not going to." Rimuru answers back, a dark tone to his voice for the first time since you met him.

You try to protest but Benimaru clasps a hand over your mouth to stop it.

You lick his hand but he doesnt relent. Rimuru chuckles at your annoyed expression.

"Don't try. Y/N, if you don't stay willingly... You'd make a lot of my friends sad." Rimuru speaks in a belitteling tone. walking up to you and petting your head dismissivly.

You let out muffled sounds of protests, squirming against Benimarus limbs as hes holding you down.

"Fine then, we'll lock your house down from now on. Is this what you wanted?" Rimuru snarkily tilted his head. You didn't recognise him like this. He's always been so friendly. But now, with those scary dulled eyes on the cutesy face... he's just offputting.

You made your protests known by a harsh glare. But he just smiled. You were really getting pissed off! You were an adult for god sake! No matter these cat features! This was dehumanizing!

Rimuru left, taking Benimaru with him. You heard the lock click into place. The windows had never been able to open... so..

But what they didn't know, was that you were a great lockpicker. Being bored in middle school was bound to pay off at some point!

So when it got dark out, and all these annoyances went to bed. You took that little metal hairclip and got to work. These fantasy people didn't know how to make complicated locks. So it wasn't that hard.

And bam, door open, Y/N free!

So you just sneak out of your house, taking some food with you, along with the non cutesy clothes they've provided you with.

Atleast being half cat gave you great stealth. No-one would hear you.

So you left Rimuru city. Into Jura forest and just... Wherever you wanted to go.

Ofcourse, you had been thankfull for their hospitality for a while, You mean, modern soceity would have let you rot on the streets. But still, locking someone in a house? Crazy.

The leaves crunched under your feet and you were getting paranoid that you'd leave a trail for them to find.

You sped up your pace, hoping to find somewhere else to hide. A cave maybe? A difrent city?

But no, you ended up meeting monsters. Lots of them. They chased you down, tired you out. You felt like real prey for once.

You hid in a tree and stared at these savage beasts as they kept patrolling under the tree. You couldn't get out. Trapped once again. But not as comfrotable.

But not for long. As morning broke out, the warm rays hitting your cold face after a night out in the tree, you heard sniffing.

And it wasn't from the monsters.

Before you knew it, they were all torn to shred by Ranga, Rimuru's wolf compagnion. Shit! He tracked you down!

Rimuru was on his back, in slime form. He devoured the tree you were in and turned human just to catch you in a ridiculously tight grip.

He seemed mad, stressed. Not a word was exchanged as he set you on Ranga and rode back to the city. Harsh grip around your waist.

"Y/N. You. Don't. Get. To. Leave." Rimuru whispered to you as you arrived back at the village.

You expected him to throw you back into your house but he too kyou to his living quarters instead. 

Tugging you along to one of the many rooms. Opening a wooden door, the overpowered slime set you on the soft bed and clicked some magic restraints to your wrists.

"This is your own fault. Ok?" Rimuru spoke darkly.

"You'll marry Shuna and Souei. You'll stay put and let us ake care of you. You hear me? This world is dangerous, and you weren't granted powers like I was." Rimuru explains with a serious face. He wanted you to marry two kijins!? Two?! Whatn to tie you to this place?

"I'm not getting married-" You started but he shut your mouth.

"You are. They keep whining about it and why not? You deserve some love, don't you think so?" He grins. You were genuinly scared of the slime at this point. This sounded way too creepy.

"You wouldn't want Gabiru to miss his best friend, would you? Or Benimaru to miss his adorable little sibling? Don't you get how dear yo uare to everyone?" Rimuru carresses you cheek softly. What kind of manipulation is this bitch pulling on you?

But you were afraid of talking back. This boy could pulvorize you ten times over.

So you reluctantly nod. Maybe... Maybe you could get used to living here? Its not like they hurt you...

Rimuru immeadiatly turned bubbly and cute again as you nod. Smiling brightly and patting your head before he leaves again.

The door clicks to a locked state and you slowly pann your gaze over to your cuffed wrists. They glow in the sunlight coming from the thick looking window.

'What the hell just happned?' You deadpann at the floor, needing a moment to register what just got decided for you.

You'd be stuck with these crazy sicko's forever!

A nightmare, really, being taken care off and loved. ew, who would like that-

Wait a minute.

Now hold up.

Well it may have been nice if you liked being stuck in a room. But nu uh. You were an adventurous cat!

The universe granted you a second life and you weren't going to waste it in the position of a docile house husband/wife!

But... You never got your adventure. Married off to two Kijin. 

Intertwined with all these people you had grown to know.

If only they had liked you... a normal amount.

Then you could have lived a seconds life.

This could barely be called that.

This was.... The life of a doll. It had to be. Put on display and loved by all, owned by all.

Thats what you'd always be.

A cute cat, to be cuddled and coddled.

Nothing else...

_____☆_____

I think I went braindead while writing this twice.

Sorry for the late-ness! School has been killing me, last year isn't a damm joke.

I hope this was readable!

Have a nice day/night!

_____☆_____

Words: 2712

[mermaidchansons]

Princess Charming: Shuri One Shot

Shuri x black!Fem Reader

Summary: You try to keep your crush on Princess Shuri in check while working as one of her lab assistants. Fluff!

A/N: Hi, it’s me again lol. The undercut got me and I had to write this story. She’s just too fine. Please reblog, like, and ESPECIALLY comment!

Song recs for reading:

Let My Baby Stay - Amandla Stenberg

my slime - Fousheé

To say that you had a crush on Shuri was an understatement.

It had been two years since you were recruited as a lab assistant for the princess’ lab in Mount Bashenga. Ever since day one, the two of you had become close. She was your first friend in Wakanda. And yet, you kept it to yourself; the fear of rejection outweighed your curiosity about what she might say. But Shuri was so easy to talk to, you were surprised you hadn’t already let it slip. All those late-night lab sessions with just the two of you, working shoulder to shoulder. She always smelled of freshly whipped Wakandan shea butter and tea tree oil. Her fresh undercut and toned physique in her crop top constantly made you sweat.

It was in those times when she caught you staring that she’d ask about your love life and laugh when she saw the nervous look on your face.

“Y/n, why is it that whenever I ask you this, you freeze up? You can relax, I won’t bite. Unless you want me to,” Shuri chuckled, her eyes scanning your form and immediately making you hot.

You tried your best to keep your pining to yourself but you just couldn’t keep it together; laughing too hard at her jokes, daydreaming about being in her arms each night, stealing glances at the princess as she worked intently, wanting so desperately to smooth out the lines of her furrowed brows with your fingers.

The whole thing was too much to the point that you took a sick day to talk some sense into yourself. You couldn’t handle heartbreak in a country that was not your own. Who would you lean on? You had a crush on your boss who you see every day. And this wasn’t a job that you could just leave. You definitely could not tell her. After all, she was the princess of the most powerful nation. How would it look if she dated one of her assistants?

~The Lab~

Shuri walked in, examining the newly made tech samples on the table.

“Griot, can you pin y/n so she can review these?” She scanned the sample with her kimoyo beads, prepping the specs.

“Yes, princess. But I must inform you that Y/n is out sick,” the AI sounded.

Shuri had noticed you had been less talkative around her the past couple of days but you didn’t seem under the weather.

“She wrote in her day off request that she was feeling sick yesterday afternoon. Would you still like me to send the specs?”

“No, I will take them to her myself. Bring up her location and inform Okoye that I am going out.”

~The Ikhaya Eliluhlaza Apartments~

You sat curled up in your Yitty onesie and matching blanket, laughing at an episode of Living Single. The doorbell rang and you sighed, not wanting to leave your cozy corner. But you knew that the doorbell meant that your jollof rice and piri piri fish had finally been delivered. You groaned as you stood, stretching your arms as you walked to open the door.

To your surprise, your food was not behind the door.

“Princess, what are you doing here?!” You spit out, looking up at her.

“Griot informed me of your sick day and after doing some research, I brought you some medicine. I actually found a really funny tweet, apparently, you need to watch a show called judge Judy for it to work.” Shuri chuckled, holding up saltine crackers and Canada Dry ginger ale.

You stood there wide-eyed and moved aside to let her in.

“Oh, thank you, nkosazana. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my day off.”

“Don’t worry about it. Wow, look at your place; it’s so you!” She waved you off and slipped into your apartment, setting the ‘meds’ on your coffee table. You followed apprehensively as she looked at the paintings on the wall.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You scrunched up your face at her comment and she chuckled.

“American.”

Normally you’d give a quick comeback, but your mind was elsewhere. You couldn’t help but notice how beautiful her brown skin looked against the cream of her windbreaker. Her fit was on point as always.

Realization of your own attire flooded your mind and you remembered that you weren’t wearing anything under your onesie. You wrapped your arms over your chest, pushing down your now erect nipples.

“I should change, excuse me—“

“It’s too late for that. I’ve already seen you. You look good as always,” She smirked, looking at you from over her shoulder.

You playfully rolled your eyes as heat rushed to your cheeks, leaning against the island counter.

“Where are your glasses? I’ll pour you some of the ginger ale.”

“They’re in the top left cabinet.” You watched as she maneuvered through your small kitchen.

“You’re clearly not sick, judging by how loudly you were cackling. Are you avoiding me again?” Shuri said, handing you the chilled glass.

She stood across from you, watching you look everywhere else but at her.

“Lo mfazi, let me ask the right question. How long have you had feelings for me?”

You stopped drinking and gulped down what you had in your mouth. She lifted her brow, waiting for you to answer.

“I um, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you whispered.

“You think I haven’t seen the way you look at me?” Shuri took the glass from your hands and sat it down behind her. Closing the space between you, she pinned you against the island with her hands painfully close to your waist.

“How long, y/n?” She whispered in your ear and a shiver ran down your spine.

“Like 8 months... maybe a year.” You held your breath as you watched her face contort with frustration.

“A year?! Why didn’t you say anything,” she yelled, throwing her hands up. You finally exhaled and backed away in surprise.

“I was scared—“

“Of what,” she questioned, cutting you off,” that I wouldn’t feel the same way? Bast, woman. I couldn’t have made it more obvious.”

Shuri’s words caused you to nervously chuckle. Was this a joke? Had all those times when she had humorously flirted with you, been real?

“Shuri, please don’t play around like that. I’m real fragile right now.” Her eyes softened as she looked at you, softly kicking the air in your bunny slippers.

“I’m not playing around, y/n. Come here,” she sighed, pulling you in by your onesie. With an arm wrapped around your waist, she lifted your chin; your eyes meeting hers.

“Ubuhle, I wouldn’t joke about this. I wish you would have told me sooner. I adore you, y/n.”

Your eyes welled and you looked away, a tear escaping.

“Damnit, Shuri,” you mumbled, cursing her for being so sweet. She smiled, placing a small kiss on your temple. You hid your face in the crook of her neck, hugging her shoulders.

“Does this mean I have to quit working in the lab?”

Shuri belly laughed and grabbed your face. She quickly took your bottom lip between hers and kissed you so sweetly that you could feel your knees go weak. This was so much more than you had dreamed. The softness of her lips and the gentle way she caressed your cheek; it was everything. She was everything.

“You do not have to quit the lab, intombi eswiti. It will be far easier to fall in love with you while we work together,” Shuri whispered against your lips. Warmth washed over you and you leaned more into her touch. You never wanted this moment to end.

“Now let’s talk about what’s under this onesie,” she lifted your zipper and looked down the hem, darkly laughing. You smacked her hand away and tried to fight the smile that crept onto your face.

“Shuri, cut it out!”

Tagging my new bestie: @tchallasbabymama

[projectcaramel]

Random Headcanon #1

Gifts You Got The Brothers:

It's the thought that counts. The kind of gift you'd think they wouldn't keep (but they do).

Gifts given after you get to know them well.

Lucifer —

A big, fluffy unicorn plush. You know, the one they made the sticker about? Yeah, he 100% got that from you on your third week in the Devildom. He’ll never admit it, but he cuddles with it at night sometimes.

Demonus-laced, high quality, limited edition chocolates. It cost a small fortune, but Lucifer enjoyed them so much he spoiled you for weeks and turned a blind eye to your more.... bold decisions.  

Mammon

A greeting card you got during one of your first town outings because it struck your interest. Mammon, being the tsundere he is, pretended to not care and said he threw out “the cheap garbage”, but he stares at the flowers on the card sometimes for hours. 

A Gussi leather jacket you managed to get your hands on for his birthday, and he’s become so possessive of it that you’re the only one allowed to touch it aside from him.

Levi

A friendship bracelet you made trying to drag Levi out of his room. You’ve never seen him wear it, but unbeknownst to you he’s been wearing it as an anklet under his sweatpants. 

A Zaramela figurine, of which there is only one in the entire Devildom. Levi broke down and cried for almost an hour hugging you because he was so happy. His brothers are not permitted anywhere near it, else Lotan gets summoned into the House of Lamentation again. 

Satan

In an attempt to give him a better way to manage his anger, you gave him a slime stress ball. He destroyed it within a week, but he was actually pretty upset about it. 

You somehow managed to persuade Lucifer to let him have another chance, and long story short, Satan became the ecstatic father of two cats. You still have to keep him in check and make sure he doesn’t try to adopt more, but he now cannot physically get angry with you. 

Asmo

A fashion magazine for an up and coming model looking to rival him. You didn’t actually know about that last part until Asmo mentioned it, but he thought you were trying to help him, so he now wears all of the fashions of his opposition. 

Bath salts that leave the body perfectly energized and glittering—it’s the absolute perfect skincare routine wrapped up in relaxation, and Asmo savors every bath like his last, frequently inviting you to join in the process. 

Beel

A dieting guide—you’d think he would have eaten it, laminated pages and all, but every time you enter his room, you find it open to a different page. 

A gargantuan devildom feast from various restaurants, with an array of food ranging from cheeseburgers to cakes. You weren’t sure whether it was the quantity or the fact that you finished it off with a bag of homemade cookies, but Beel was actually full. 

Belphie

A traditional alarm clock he never uses, but for some reason has never moved it from its spot. He said he was too lazy, but you’ve seen him fiddling with it from time to time when he thinks you’re not looking. 

An extraordinary telescope that was recently developed for observing the anomaly between the human and Devildom skies, and Belphie absolutely could not stop himself from openly cuddling you for days. 

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

You know, I was just thinking about the UA entrance exam.

Specifically, how terribly designed it is, but not for the reason they seem to give in the story itself.

Like, here's how it is: Aizawa is shown criticising the UA Entrance Exam once, during the Sports Festival. And the ONE criticism he makes, is that the use of Robot enemies during the exam would disproportionately affect people whose Quirk work against biological opponents, essentially.

His one criticism, is that the exam is not designed to also cater to people like him, and that's it. The way therefore it's set up, it'd be logical to assume he'd ask for a restructuring to the exam to remove the Robots and substitute them with live enemies, possibly Ectoplasm clones.

This is never brought up again, aside from maybe a stealth bring up during the mid term exams when they switch the exam from fighting robots to fighting teachers.

The exam is, and I just got to it myself while watching this video about how Copaganda paints police training and the relative risk police officers face on the job, set up in a very specific environment:

An empty town, where what is essentially a murder spree is taking place. The ONLY entities in the place, outside of fellow examinee, are robots that have been literally designed to attack everyone on sight, and that need to be destroyed to pass. The points granted from saving people are hidden, so they can be more "genuine" of course, and are, ultimately, also part of the problem.

Because here's the fucking thing.

When the fuck is that ever going to happen.

When the fuck, is a superhero, after their 5 years of Hero training in high school, then entering the work force without a need for a decree in higher education, ever going to find themselves in an environment where they can use LETHAL FORCE on civilian targets? With no restraint or care for collateral damage?

And where they are ENCOURAGED to kill as many criminals as they can, and NOT collaborate with other heroes? Because that's another thing, you need to steal points from other people to pass, by culling the number of limited robots, much like heroes are paid by the arrest and by popularity.

You do understand how fucked up that starts to sound right? The other, the enemy, is reduced as a caricature Droid from star wars, there only to kill and destroy, and against whom your only TWO methods of defeat are outright destruction or sneak attacks on their off buttons.

And here's the cherry on the shit too, because, AGAIN, when is that EVER going to be the case?

Do you know how many heroes show up in the first villain attack in BNHA?

Five.

Two are engaging a purse snatcher, three are doing crowd control, the Slime Villain, who may I remind you was guilty of robbery at a convenience store before he got the hostage, gets THE NUMBER ONE HERO, as well as those same FIVE heroes involved, of which only BACKDRAFT is actually doing anything.

Now, imagine you are a hero school, and you produce 40 heroes a year, just like every other hero school out there. How many of those heroes will see active duty, if the rate of crimes demand FIVE heroes to react to ONE criminal?

And people will say "but EDS, this mentality is later rewarded when All Might retires and it all falls to shit," Except NOT REALLY, because that's an externally forced situation caused by, and I can't stress this enough, a hundreds of yeas old NEET boomer who read too many Doctor Doom comics as a kid and decided to become a supervillain, the riots, the open air warfare, is only caused by AFO forcing the hand and inciting popular unrest, which is an unrealistic thing to expect off any society.

In one of the movies, Class 1-A is sent to open an hero agency on a small island with barely a village on it. 20 Heroes. Until the movie truly picks up, the best they do is help kittens from trees, and Bakugou, the sort of person for whom the Entrance Exam was designed, is useless, left in his tent like Achilles, the perfect cowboy cop who peeked in highschool and didn't realize just how much paperwork and dead time his dream job actually entailed.

So that's the ACTUAL Issue with the entrance exam. It take no account for any other mean to beat the robots but brute force, it takes no account for collateral damage, or the sanctity of life of your opponents, and it tests nothing but how good at ending lives you are.

Which is a problem when you're picking future heroes.

[dmwrites]

“Yo.”

“Jev!” Gem said excitedly, clutching her phone to her ear.

“Gem?” Jev asked. “Did you get a new phone or something? I didn’t recognize the number.”

“I’m not in Hermitcraft right now, I’m away on another server.” Gem explained.

“Ohh.” Jev’s voice got distant for a second, like he’d pulled the phone away from his mouth. “Modded server area code, I see. Cool. So, what’s good, Gem?”

“Well, okay, so, it’s a bit of a complicated story so I’ll summarize it for you. Basically, I’m on this server, it’s a modded, oh wait you already said that, but yeah it’s a modded server run by Scott Smajor- you know Scott, right? Eh, that’s not actually too important to the story; so in this server we get different origins every time we die, and there are like six lives total, like a cat but… less, I suppose. Anyway, so first I was a swarm of bees which was super cute and so cottagecore, then I was a blaze and I was so hot, and now I just fell off a building and now I’m a slime! Like you!”

Gem took a deep breath and waited for Jevin to say something. It took him a few seconds to respond.

“Uh, yeah, okay, sorry, was just processing all of that word soup… so you’re a slime now, like me. That’s… what it comes down to?”

“Yeah!” Gem said with a smile.

“Well, slimes are the coolest mob out there, so, uh, congrats on that.” Jev replied.

“Yeah! I’m, like, translucent and colorful and I can produce children!” Gem said excitedly.

There was a very pregnant pause from the other end of the phone, so long that Gem had to check and make sure that she was still in the call.

“… produce children.” Jev finally repeated, sounding a little shocked. “Care to, uh, elaborate on that one?”

“I just like… I dunno, pop them out! Like cells reproducing. Do you produce children too, Jev?” Gem asked.

“I- hm, no, can’t say I’ve… no. Must be a modded thing.” Jevin said.

“Well, anyway, all of that silly stuff aside, I wanted to ask you an important question.” Gem continued. She looked out over her lands, a small frown coming to her face. “It’s important.”

“Okay…” Jevin replied cautiously.

“Are there any like slime secrets I need to be aware of? Slime code or something?” Gem whispered it into the phone.

Jevin snickered, then cleared his throat. “Oh, Gem, you called the right guy. Slime. Whatever. Yes, there is a very secret code of the slimes that must be obeyed by all slimes at all times.”

Gem gasped. “I knew it! What is it?”

“I dunno, Gem…” Jevin trailed off. “I mean, it’s super secret… and what if you turn into something else and then tell someone else our secret?”

“I promise! I won’t tell anyone!” Gem cried. “Oh, please, Jev!”

“Okay.” Jevin said. “Gem. The one and only code of the slime is as follows: all slimes must fart when they enter a room. It can be silent, it can be loud, but it must be a fart. For whole slimes, it’s easy, they practically make wet fart noises every time they move. For slimes like us, we just gotta fart.”

“Fart? Really?” Gem asked, frowning. “I never hear you farting when you walk into rooms.”

“Oh yeah. It’s very important to slime culture.” Jev said importantly. “If you don’t, other slimes will really look down on you. And I have mastered the silent fart, that’s why you don’t hear me.”

“Okay.” Gem said, nodding her head. “Farting. Every time I enter a room. Got it. Thanks Jevin! What would I do without you?”

——

“Who was that?” Cleo asked when Jevin sat back down next to her in Cub’s TCG arena.

“Gem. Who’s winning?” Jev replied, nodding at the TCG match between xBcrafted and VintageBeef below.

“On a numerical level, Beef. But on a spiritual level, xB.” Cleo replied. “So what did Gem want?”

Jevin snickered. “So she’s a slime origin on some modded server she’s playing on right now, and asked if there were any, like, rules of slimes. I just lied and told her that slimes have to fart every time they enter a room.”

Cleo cackled so hard that Joe Hills, who was moderating the game, threw a trident at her to shut her up.

“Oh my god, Jev! You didn’t! Gem is going to murder you when she finds out the truth.”

“Whatever. Worth it, tbh.” Jev replied, and joined Cleo in laugher.

[craycray-wolf]

OKAY BUT Y'ALL. I'm genuinely curious. About the Monster Falls au. Fyi this post is going to be me throwing crap at the walls to see what sticks.

When it comes to Monster Falls...why has no one ever suggested a Harpy or Werecat for Mabel?? I feel like these monsters also fit our Mabes. Now the question for Werecat Mabel- is her body like that of a faun or a tuar?

I mostly agree with the main cast's monsters (erm Deer-per is precious??) aside from Mabel even if Merm/Unicorn her is cool

Also Wendy is usually a werefox but I feel that a werewolf also fits (especially considering how hairy werewolves are. Who else is hairy? Oh yeah! The Corduroy men)

According to the GF au wiki Soos is a clay golem. It works! I think we can still get creative with this! He could be a slime or alien (I'm picturing Toy Story lmao. "You saved my life dudes, I'm eternally grateful") or robot or faun or really any monster lol. I suppose he's of Mexican descent and therefore could be a Mexican creature! Maybe HE'S the unicorn because he's pure of heart...🥺 He could also still be a human super hyped that his friends are now monsters. What we think y'all I'm stumped.

Again going by the wiki Pacifica is either a gorgon or unicorn. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE IDEA OF GORGON PACIFICA I just wanted to propose a nymph as an idea. Do I want gorgon or nymph...

"Old Man McGucket is usually a scarecrow, warlock or a demon." - GF AU wiki. Ehh idk about these. Maybe McGucket is the slime? A cow creature or smth? A Kill Billy? Oh, he's a Kill Billy I found it! EUREKA!!

Now that I'm thinking about it Gravity Falls/Journal 3 specific monsters could be included in the ideas. Soos is another Abominable Broman haha.

Gideon is said to be a vampire, which just makes sense (bloodsucker lmao). I purpose an alternative: gnome.

Once again according to GF wiki Candy is a kappa. I say no. It's a cute idea but I'm also iffy about it considering the fact that Candy is of Korean/Chinese descent and a kappa is from Japanese folklore. That's not to say species/monsters can't cross nationality/ethnic boundaries, I'm just saying why not a Korean or Chinese monster? For example a g/kumiho (Korean) or qilin/kirin (Chinese/Korean)!

It also says Melody is a Harpy. Approved. She can apparently also be a ghost which is fine but Harpy Melody is adorable thx. I suppose maybe she's the mermaid of the bunch but now I'm team harpy

Is Tad Strange still a human? Or a piece of bread? IS HE THE SQUARE VERSION PEOPLE THEORIZED ABOUT

Maybe Tyler Cutebiker is half werepuma half werepanther...or a bunny or smth

Okay I'm going to stop now before I list the entire town of Gravity Falls.

General ideas for grabs for anyone: fairies, ghosts, skeletons, nagas/lamias, mummies, angels, demons, nephilim, dragons, ANY MONSTER REALLY.

I haven't had proper progress on my initial GF askblog BUT I'M GONNA MAKE A MONSTER FALLS AU WHY THE HELL NOT. Stay tuned! I'll be adapting an existing but inactive blog of mine for these purposes.

Thanks for coming to my (frankly unhinged) TEd talk it's been lit fam 🤙

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

One more from (mostly) climate journalist David Roberts:

"I haven't written much about politics since the debate, mainly because I'm so overwhelmed by disgust & contempt toward this country's media & commentariat that it has rendered me inarticulate with rage. Twitter probably doesn't need more rage. I do just wanna make one point tho.

To be clear up front: I don't give one tiny hot fuck who the Dem nominee is. I truly don't. Biden's fine. Harris is fine. A warm puddle of vomit is fine. *There is no conceivable resolution to the nomination fight that could change the basic calculus of this race.*

Preventing a fascist takeover of the US is my top priority--as a journalist, as a voter, as a human. If it isn't yours too, you should feel bad about yourself. If you haven't made the stakes of this election clear to everyone within the sound of your voice, you should feel bad.

But I'm not gonna rant. [breathes deeply] Just gonna make my one point, which is this: the idea that that the process of jettisoning Biden & choosing someone else will go well -- will be *allowed* to go well -- is a deeply deranged fantasy.

The idea that Dems will do this & will end up feeling unified, that Harris will come out popular, that "the dynamics of the race will shift," all of that ... fucking deranged. Deranged in such a perfectly characteristic Dem way.

"This person/policy/slogan/approach has been irredeemably slimed by Republicans & a hostile media -- let's throw it overboard!" That's the Dem way. Always with this starry-eyed hope that they can reset, start over, get it right this time.

Just as one example -- other people have aggregated these -- there have been "calls" for every Dem nominee of the last 30 years to step aside. Dems practically delight in abandoning their own people, policies, & principles in response to bad-faith pressure. They f'ing love it.

But, as I've been saying for, oh, 20 years now, the situation is structural. The current situation is an outcome of a particular incentive structure & that structure will remain exactly the same if Harris takes over the ticket.

For centrists, journalists, pundits, *even Dem electeds*, the way you prove you are a Reasonable, Serious Person in DC is by shitting on Dems. For the left, the way you prove you are a true radical is by shitting on Dems. For the right ... well, obviously.

Everyone's professional incentives are to shit on Dems. Dwelling on Trump & his fascist movement -- however justified by the objective facts -- just doesn't bring that juice, doesn't get the clicks & the high-fives, doesn't feel brave & iconoclastic. It's just ... no fun.

So, say Biden stepped aside in favor of Harris tomorrow. How long until the vapid gossips we call political reporters find something wrong with her, some alleged flaw they just have to write 192 stories about? How long until the hopped-up mediocrities we call pundits ...

...find some "counter-intuitive" reason that the new Dem ticket is flawed after all? How long until the irredentist left gets over the temporary thrill of its new Harris memes & remembers that she's a cop & turns on her? How long before the ambient racism & misogyny in the US...

... lead center-leftists to conclude that, sure, they'd support a black woman, just not *this* black woman? In other words: how long before everyone reverts to their comfortable, familiar identity & narratives?

About 30 f'ing seconds, is my guess.

Dems uniting, feeling good, telling a clear story, receiving credit for their accomplishments--all of that is *impossible* in the current environment. It won't be allowed. Dems can punch themselves in the face all they want, abandon whoever they want, apologize all they want...

... they simply will not be allowed to turn the page & start fresh, because everyone's incentives remain the same. If they did that, elites, including media elites, would have no choice but to openly & frankly grapple with Trump & what he represents & they *don't want to*.

Everyone feels comfortable shitting on Dems -- it's just a cozy professional space. You get to feel brave & independent (just like all the replacement-level pundits around you) with zero risk.

Yes, it's abysmal, contemptible cowardice on a genuinely embarrassing scale ...

... but it is what it is & we should have no illusions that it will change with a change in the top of the ticket.

As @whstancil has been trying to tell you people (good god how he tries), the information environment is thoroughly corrupted.

@whstancil For some reason, left pundits are pathologically averse to acknowledging that fact. And so they grasp at these straws -- if we could just get rid of Biden, we could have a reasonable conversation! Yeah, sure. You absurd summer children.

@whstancil This election is not a choice between two individuals, it's a choice between worldviews, between futures. Do we want to continue down the path to multiethnic democracy or do we want to impose a white patriarchal Christian autocracy?

@whstancil At stake is the entire federal civil service. The machinery of state built since WWII. Freedom & dignity for millions. Yes, democracy itself. That's not an exaggeration. Yet this country's elites have utterly failed to convey those stakes to the populace. A *grotesque* failure.

You can not look at this extraordinary media freakout this last week and not psychologize, not see all kinds of displacement. They can't or won't be serious about Trump & so they are fucking *giddy* at having permission to scold Dems again. Their safe place.

Anyway, my point is just: none of this will change if Harris replaces Biden at the top of the ticket. The idea that the media -- with these soulless careerist court gossips in charge -- will allow it is just fantasy. They *need* Dems in disarray & so they will engineer it.

The US is right on the precipice of falling into bona fide fascism & *the vast majority of the voting public doesn't even know it*. That speaks to a deeply diseased information environment. Until Dems do something about that, all their self-flagellation will buy them nothing.

Not knowing what else to do, Dems shit on their own

(Rebecca Solnit)

[qsmp-yaoi-island]

I'll say the admins' decision that purgatory 2 is as canon "as the ccs want it to be" is awful and going to cause so many problems.

I think it's perfectly fine to have CCs choose to be out of character for their own lore because then they don't have to commit to rp all the time, but you absolutely cannot do this with the MAIN plot of the story. One of the main reasons is that not everyone will pick and choose what's the same as canon.

A perfect example is just a few days ago, Phil was involved in a main story point of protecting Luffy who escaped. Luffy told Phil that he was looking for Tubbo/Bagi, and of course, because Phil was not informed of anything going on, he told them that they went back to purgatory. Even though Bagi and Tubbo said their purgatory isn't canon. So now imagine Phil is panicking about Luffy not finding the people he's looking for only for tubbo or bagi to show up randomly and confuse the plot even more.

I will say that I don't really care about how the story should be perfectly consistent because I know that's impossible, but it's more about how it's ruining the rp choices of others. Phil did such incredible rp stressing over how everyone left for purgatory again, but for them to show back up without a care or explanation? Undermines all of his emotions and effort into making it feel real.

Another point is how it's effecting the CCs efforts for consistency. Tubbo gets kidnapped IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS EYES, but logs in the next day and gets attacked by a code. So now you face the confusion of either believing he was taken and how that effected the characters rp around him, or believe that the code is back as a main story element. You can't believe both because they directly contradict eachother, so you end up wasting a good plot point for another. For example, Fit has canon separation anxiety and seeing tubbo go missing in front of him could have made for good character development.

Baghera was asked to stay off the server for the past few weeks because the admins had lore planned out for her. She expressed that she missed being on and seeing her friends but trusted in the admins that her return would be worth it to wait for. So some characters are allowed back and immediately cause inconsistenties but some people have to wait? It sucks for CCs like Baghera, Slime, and Pol who express how they want to get back on but are committed to their lore. But I also can't entirely blame the people who came back from purg2, even though I do think its a bad rp choice on their part, because the admins specifically told them they could.

Finally, the worst part is how it demeans the story being told. Imagine after purgatory 2 ends all the people coming back could talk about the hell they went through, the people they met, the fate of Cellbit and Baghera. But instead Bad's "1/4" came back and immediately told Pomme he saw Baghera. Isn't that lame? Doesn't that feel like a waste of good exposition? Hell even Foolish was there and just chose to ignore it because, hey, there's no canon reason he should know that!

That's the problem now is that no one knows what to tell eachother anymore, because it will only be inconsistent with what others are saying or doing. The stories is slowly losing its integrity because it's doesn't know what is important to take seriously anymore. Should you worry about the code attacks? I don't know, it happened to someone who wasn't even technically there. Hey I saw this missing person but I'm also supposed to be missing too, so should you even believe me?

It's confusing, it messy, and it will absolutely ruin story lines down the road.

I love the story of the QSMP. It's what drew me into the server and made me love it ever since, and to see it get pushed aside for a competitive event really sucks. With the way the server has been so rp and lore dependent for the last nine months, it just feels so strange for it to not be the focus anymore. Purgatory was fun, Purgatory 2 looks even better, but I would not trade them for the fandom toxicity, story inconsistency, or divided attention on gameplay it created.

I know with time the story will pick up again, people will return, and it'll be well throught out and planned again. I just think it's important to be critical of these decisions now so they don't get repeated in the future. If there ever is a Purgatory 3 or some other event, all I would hope for is that it has a clear and defined plot revelvancy so you don't have to scramble to tie up all the loose ends later.

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Every time Draco called Hermione "Mudblood" when speaking to her

So I wanted to compile here all the times Draco calls Hermione a "mudblood" as a follow-up to this post.

Not referring to her in third person as one but actually using it while speaking to her individually. And how Hermione responded. This is mainly for my own fun.

I did this examination by searching for "mudblood" in all the pdf files of the books.

Philospher's/Sorcerer's Stone

Chamber of Secrets

Chapter 7 - MUDBLOODS AND MURMURS

“At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in,” said Hermione sharply. “They got in on pure talent.” The smug look on Malfoy’s face flickered. “No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood,” he spat.

Note: He only acknowledged Hermione's presence on the field when she insulted him.

“He did,” she said. “But I don’t know what it means. I could tell it was really rude, of course —”

Note: It's weird how no focus is put on Hermione during this debacle. All of the focus is on Ron's rage. Even after Hermione learns what the slur means, there is no description of a reaction even several paragraphs later. This is the most I see of a reaction which is kind of nice but disappointing at the same time if JKR truly wants me to feel the plight of mugglebornes in her story.

Prisoner of Azkaban

Goblet of Fire

Chapter 18 - THE WEIGHING OF THE WANDS

“Want one, Granger?” said Malfoy, holding out a badge to Hermione. “I’ve got loads. But don’t touch my hand, now. I’ve just washed it, you see; don’t want a Mudblood sliming it up.”

Note: Draco was harassing Harry. Hermione entered the exchange by snarking at Pansy and her female gang. Then, in a continuation of humiliating Harry, Draco engages her.

“Harry!” Hermione said warningly.

Note: Once again, no reaction from Hermione. Here, she tries to prevent Harry from escalating by attacking Draco. And once again the reactive party is someone else - this time Harry, a guy. Yay, feminism!

Order of the Phoenix

Chapter 28 - SNAPE’S WORST MEMORY

“The Inquisitorial Squad, Granger,” said Malfoy, pointing toward a tiny silver I upon his robes just beneath his prefect’s badge. “A select group of students who are supportive of the Ministry of Magic, handpicked by Professor Umbridge. Anyway, members of the Inquisitorial Squad do have the power to dock points. . . . So, Granger, I’ll have five from you for being rude about our new headmistress. . . . Macmillan, five for contradicting me. . . . Five because I don’t like you, Potter . . . Weasley, your shirt’s untucked, so I’ll have another five for that. . . . Oh yeah, I forgot, you’re a Mudblood, Granger, so ten for that. . . .”

Ron pulled out his wand, but Hermione pushed it away, whispering, “Don’t!”

Note: Same note as above. But this time it's Ron instead of Harry.

Fun fact: Most of the mudblood usage comes from Kreacher in this book.

Half-Blood Prince

Deathly Hallows

Final Count! In direct conversation with Hermione, Draco called her a mudblood...3 times...over 7 years? Is that it?? Gasp! I thought Draco was such a big bad meanie to poor defenceless queen Hermione 😭. She's oh so hurt and traumatized!

All jokes aside, I do admire Hermione's almost utter lack of regard for Draco's taunts. She does not walk around acting like a victim so her fans need to do the same. And as for the Draco antis, there's no need to overblow Draco's bullying to make your point. When you look at it, Draco was not that great of a bully. He's honestly mostly bark and his bite always seems to backfire on him in the end instead of his intended victims.

[storm-angel989]

Valentino x Daughter (My Best Friend, Ana Part Two)

Admitted.

The word itself seemed harsh, cruel and less than understanding. But as my father told me with a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time, admitted was better than the death I was allegedly very close to. 

For five days I sat in the hospital as therapists came in to talk to me. I ignored them to the best of my ability. I didn’t need their help- I didn’t belong here. Why couldn’t they see that? 

“Let me out of these stupid things,” I demanded when my father finally came to see me. “I don’t need them.” 

A pained expression across his face. “The doctor doesn’t think that’s a good idea, bebita.”

“Then let me go home, Dad,” I begged. “I’m fine, really, I’m fine.” 

“You’re not,” he replied softly. He brushed the hair away from my face. “Start by talking to the therapist. Then we can discuss where to go from there.” 

I turned my head away. Ana encouraged me to tell him to fuck off, to tell him he was a terrible father and how dare he keep me trapped here. But I couldn’t bring myself to. Instead, I closed my eyes until I heard his footsteps retreat and the door close. 

Six times a day the nurse came in to shove slime into the tube. I hated it, not just for the lack of control I felt but the sensation itself was uncomfortable. The first few times, I tried to just ignore what she was doing, determined to keep a silent resolve. But with each pass, I grew more and more desperate to know what exactly she was forcing into my body. 

“How many calories is this thing giving me?” I finally demanded. 

“That’s something you can discuss with your therapist,” came her cool response. 

I stopped talking to her after that. I ignored the therapist, my father, my Uncle Vox and even the doctor who came in every few hours. If I couldn’t convince them I didn’t have a problem, then I had nothing else to say to them. 

Day five my Aunt Velvette came in like a whirlwind. I looked up as she slammed the door shut, marched over to the bed and undid the cuffs that held me down.

“I swear to fucking christ if you try to pull out that tube I will pin you back down myself,” she growled. “Why the fuck arn’t you talking?”

“I have nothing to talk about,” I replied as I sat up. “Aunt Velvette, everyone thinks I have a problem and I don’t.”

“Your weight says otherwise, reader take a look at yourself. You’ve got a feeding tube for christ sake, your blood pressure tanked, and your heart is all over the god damn place. You need to eat.”

“No, I need to be thin so I can stay on the team,” I snapped. 

And then I burst into tears. Somewhere inside, the floodgate spilled open. I brought my knees up to my chest as I unloaded the entire story- the journal, the coach, the need to win, the feeling that I got every single time I said no to food. Everything came spilling out, everything except Ana. I couldn’t tell her- she probably would think I was insane, lock me back in the cuffs and ship me out. 

“I’m scared, Aunt Vel, I don’t want to be locked up, I don’t want to be put aside, I want to go home,” I said through shaking sobs. 

She pressed a tissue into my hand and it turned to water in seconds. Another pass, and then another as we sat together in quiet as I tried to control my choking sobs. 

“Please, I’m begging you, take this thing out of my throat,” I begged. “I’ll talk, I’ll eat, I just, I can’t lose my place on the team. Aunt Vel, please.”

“Sweetheart, that’s already happened,” Velvette replied, her voice soft. “Until we get your bloodwork, heart, body back to normal, you’re off the team.”

Cold anger and disbelief flooded through me. The expression on her face told me she wasn’t lying. As I wrapped my arms around myself, I felt her pull me into her arms.

“I know it hurts. I know it isn’t fair. I’ve been where you are a time or two- your Dad and Uncle Vox, god they know eating disorders better than anyone else,” she said softly as she stroked my hair. “You’re not the first in this family to fight this fight and I promise you, you won’t be the first to lose it either.” 

“I just want to be thin,” I sobbed. “I want perfection, I want beauty and to keep my place on the team and I just…”

“Shussh, I know,” she said gently. “The pressure to achieve the unattainable, the pressure from ourselves, from the world, it isn’t fair. And Ana, she promises…”

“How do you know her name?” I demanded through chest wracking sobs. “How do you..”

“She’s a powerful demon, she spins her web of lies and her strength comes from her ability to feed on your fears, your doubts and your self loathing, among other things,” Velvette said, “She promises to be your best friend, she promises perfection and in the end she leaves you alone, nothing but bones. She screams its your fault, while in reality she is nothing but a gluttonous bitch, who loses her energy souce as you fade away into nothingness. Poetic, really, if you think about it.”

I watched my Aunt Velvette gaze across the room as if she was looking at someone, her sharp eyes studying the wall the way I had watched her study countless models. She swallowed and shook her head, breaking the spell.

“Regardless, the biggest thing you need to understand is that Ana, Ana is nothing but a liar. If she wasn’t, you wouldn’t be laying here, fighting for your life.”

“I don’t, I’m not dying,” I replied slowly. 

Somewhere, in the back of my head, I knew I was lying. Aunt Velvette must have realized it too, because she leaned over and kissed my forehead.

“No. Not anymore. We helped you start to win this fight, now its up to you to continue to win.”

I crossed my arms and ran a rough hand against my eyes as I tried to wipe away the tears.

“How do I do that?” I asked.

I saw a small smile pass over Velvette’s expression. 

“You start by talking,” she replied simply. “That’s a good start.”

[crazyunsexycool]

Val!!

The more I read about honey bee, the more excited I am to read her story!

Since Lotti can see the future, she’s the probably the first to know many things about bee. Can you just imagine everyone at the compound trying to bribe her some way into revealing anything about the little Rogers on the way?!!

Lottie would have a blast taking bribes but she wouldn’t say anything important.

Tell me something…

Warning: talks of baby, gender, pregnancy.

Nat:

“Hey Lots of Love.” Nat called out to Lottie as she walked past a common room. “C’mere a sec.”

“Hi auntie Nat.”

“Hi, Lots.” Nat smiles sweetly at her. “I have a question.” Nat says as Bucky, Sam, Clint, Wanda and Vision all sit around and listen. “Do you know what Steve and Y/N are having?”

Lottie gives her a cheeky smile and nods. “I see it.”

“Will you tell me?”

Lottie purses her lips and tilts her head as she thinks it over.

“I’ll get you new headbands and bows.”

“Ok.” Lottie says and waves for Nat to come over.

Nat keeps a neutral expression as Lottie whispers in her ear. “A baby.” Lottie pulls back and gives Nat a mischievous grin before skipping away.

“What did she say?” Sam asks.

“I’m not telling.” Nat would never admit to being bested by a kid.

****

Sam:

“Hey Sugar cube.” Sam calls Lottie.

“Hi uncle Sammy.”

“I need to know something about Baby Rogers.” Sam says. “Who is Baby Rogers going to look like?”

“I can’t say anything.”

“I’ll buy you more arts and crafts supplies.”

Lottie thinks it over for a moment. “You buy me slime stuff?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Ok.” Lottie says and leans in, cupping her mouth with her hands. “She wooks wike her parents.” Then leaves with a smile on her face. Leaving Sam frustrated.

****

Wanda:

“You can’t use your magic auntie Wanda.” Lottie says as Wanda walks up behind her.

“Who says I was going to, munchkin?”

Lottie turns around to face her aunt. A look on her face that said ‘really?’. “I see it, duh.”

“Fine my very smart and lovely munchkin.” Wanda walks around the couch and sits next to Lottie, pulling her in to her side. “Do know what Bee says first?”

Lottie puts a hand over her mouth as if to let Wanda know she won’t tell her.

“Would you tell me if I promise to buy you a new dress?”

Lottie nods again, a small mischievous smile on her face. “She says a word.” Lottie hops off the couch laughing hard at Wanda’s pouty expression.

****

For weeks everyone on the team kept asking Lottie questions. Every single time she gave vague answers. Somehow she managed to get a bunch of new toys, clothes, arts supplies, candies and more. It was hilarious to watch the adults get frustrated. Eventually they all sat Lottie down to get to the bottom of the mystery.

“Lottie why haven’t you given us real answers?” Sam asks, he’s spent the most money since he wanted to get more information before Bucky.

“You no ask weal questions.”

“What do you mean we haven’t asked real questions?”

With a roll of her eyes and a smirk Lottie says, “Mama says you habe to be pacific if you want a good answuh.”

“Specific, sweet Angel.”

“Yeah, that.” Lottie nods.

“Fine,” Bucky sits up straighter. “Who will be Baby Roger’s favorite uncle, me or Sam?”

“What do I get?”

“What do you want?” Bucky asks without hesitation.

“I want you an mama to have anothuh baby.”

“Ok.”

“No way.” Both you and Bucky say at the same time. Your head whips around to look at him. “Peanut is barely a year old we aren’t having another baby yet.”

“But we will at some point. That counts right, Doll?”

“Nope.” Lottie says while getting up. “I no gibe more answers.” She says before leaving.

****

Honey is resting on the couch, a book in one hand and a drink in the other. She has her back against Steve’s chest as he also reads while a hand rests on Honey’s baby bump. The front door opens and Lottie runs into the living room. She’s giggling as she makes her way over to the couple.

“Hi, sweetheart. What have you been up to?” Steve asks, setting his book aside.

“Everyone was asking questions.”

“And?” Honey asks, her interest peaked.

“I no say anything. Uncle Sammy and daddy wanna know the most stuff”

“Good job sweetheart.” Steve chuckles.

Lottie looks up at Honey and then her belly.

“Go ahead.”

“Hi baby Bee.” Lottie places a hand over Honey’s belly. “Everyone wants to meet you alweady but I’ll be your bestest friend.”

She gasps when she gets a little kick as a reply.

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT - 0 Months

So, before I get into things,I’ve been asked to keep this kinda diary/journal thing as a way of keeping track of my changes as I go through my transition to a slime, and eventually a shapeshifter, but I’m also going to share it here so that others can see what happens in a transition like this. I know others have done this before me, but I may as well contribute my own story in case it can be helpful to anyone like me.

With that aside: I fuckin’ got my new hormones!!!!

Or at least meds, I’m not entirely sure if they’re technically speaking hormones, but I’m liable to call them that since I’m used to terminology from hormone replacement therapy. 

After my blood test results came in, it took another couple of weeks for the prescription to be sent to me so that I could take it to the pharmacy in Hyper City and get my meds, but now all that’s done and I’ve got ‘em right here in front of me as I write this. Actually getting them was fairly uneventful, walk into the pharmacy, hand over prescription, get a remark about how ‘there’s a lot of people suddenly taking this kind of thing’ and leave home free.

As for the medications themselves there’s 3 parts to it for the moment: Fluidium, which is the basic gel-that-turns-you-into-a-slime (or the goo goo as I like to call it); Aquicin Arboricine which seems to be the pill for the sap part of my particular transition; and the antihominidone, the humanity blocker pill.

All together, these promise to turn me into the slime of my dreams, and from there I can achieve my true goal of being a shapeshifter. It’s not that I don’t want to be a slime, believe me the idea of getting to be a blob of goop sounds just amazing to me, but at the end of the day I’m a shapeshifter at heart, so that’s where my finish line is.

Anyways, I was looking at the information leaflets that came with each of them, and chuckling at some of the listed side effects: Dissolution of bones, loss of skin and organs, increased sugar content in body, loss of humanity. All of which would sound weird to horrifying if it was anywhere else, but here they were things I was looking forward to

Not much else to say here, mostly just a first entry to give some info on what this is going to be and let y’all know it’s happening, so I guess that’s it for now, and I’ll see y’all later!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New version of the starting entry of slime HRT, shorter now due to the prior story (see link below) and more fitting with that. I'm also gonna link the original entry for 0 months, more for posterity than anything

First - Old Ver - Next

Tag list below cut (lmk if ya wanna be added)

@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefrog,

@mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithedemoncat