#and you have to be a little mentally ill to get mentally well

[pressplay-if]

To think I was worried about this IF ending up too short for anyone to be interested.

The hospital section in this Chapter alone is only getting longer and longer. I keep thinking of new important details and little extra scenes to add just to complete the psych ward experience (TM).

Some interesting details about Zima and MC's past mental state below cut (might be important):

Zima has now had their first interview section, mainly determining the details of the nature of their past involvement with MC. There's a total of four options. If you enjoyed the choice of Stevie having a crush on MC, you're gonna love this.

MC can be hospitalized due to either depression or social anxiety, as these are the only conditions that I feel wholly comfortable writing. I considered also offering a combination of the two, but ultimately decided against it, as the MC's oast mental illness will eventually influence the future of the story and I want those paths to be very distinct and different.

Please mind that, while everyone who suffers from mental illness of any kind has their own totally subjective and individual experience with it, I'm writing social phobic and depressive MCs with certain "set" symptoms. Here are some set elements:

Social phobia MCs experience physical symptoms and selective mutism. They are nervous and quiet, so all their interactions, especially in the beginning of their hospitalization (even when picking the antagonistic options) will reflect that. So if you're wondering why MC seems to be acting meek or "submissive", it's bc of their affliction not allowing them to be as outspoken as they might like to be. Social phobia MCs have a general exhaustion of life, given they live in constant stress, but they do not self-harm. They are prone to sleep disturbances.

Depressive MCs experience listlessness, irritation (which can makes them more prone to acting aggressively), feelings of self-loathing and dissatisfaction. They have a heightened need for sleep and will report not wanting to get out of bed. They can, in fact, choose to be currently practicing self-harm, or to have done so in the past. However, even if they choose to have never self-harmed, they will report thoughts of suicide.

Either MC will be medicated during their time in the clinic. It's a small text section and a slight bit vague as my medical knowledge, despite my research efforts, is limited. The MC will get to choose how to feel about the drugs and the potential side effects, though.

Either MC will be able to additionally describe symptoms indicating neurodivergence.

Either MC can choose to be underage smoking, drinking or both during this time. Or neither, of course.

So thanks for reading all that! Small disclaimer: I know very well that the depression and social phobia symptoms I chose to write about are NOT universally representative. This all might sound like the routes are very set, but there's actually a ton of customization going on in this chapter, so don't you worry! (Also it's gonna be rly important for the future of the band)

[yannaryartside]

WE NEED 5 SEASONS

Okay I need to vent a little. Please indulge me

This is for this article that says the 5th season is up to Storer.

Storer said they filmed most of season 4, and some things still need to be filmed. So we will have s4 next summer, and we don't know if there will be a 5th one.

I could put my hand on fire to my belief that we will have 5 seasons. Mostly, because regardless of the importance of showing “being trapped in negative patterns” that was s3 for multiple characters, is not gonna be a satisfying conclusion if all those patterns are resolved in one season.

Realistically, i would not make sense.

Even if you think Claire is Carmy’s salvation, this graceful, perfect angel that came to serve Carmy’s redemption, and when they get together, everything will be fine (that narrative sucks ass, by the way, is perpetually insulting to everyone that had ever had a mental illness to suggest them they only need to fall on the hands of someone that ignores all their defects and are determined to please them). You could believe this is all about self-sabotage, and Carmy will wake up next season, apologize to Claire, save the restaurant by ex-maquina magic, and get his happy ending. Yeah, that will be 4 seasons of a conclusive story and an objectively terrible narrative. It is also very insulting to every person who has a romantic partner who struggles with addiction and/or mental illness to tell them they need to be this fairy tale of a person who is Claire to bring "peace" to their partner and basically solve their life. Fuck that. I refuse to believe they are doing that on purpose.

But if they put the “sleigh of hand” and Carmy has to realize that his emotional dependence on Claire is toxic and only contributed to his depression and disassociation, since you spent all S3 pulling him in that direction, making him believe that is what he wanted/needed, you are going to need a whole season for him even to “scape the illusion.” All of this will align with the Bear having to close, Syd potentially leaving, and starting dating Luca. So, S4 is going to be the “wake-up call.”

S5 should be the season of creating new patterns. Carmy will get into therapy. Syd will come back. The two will create new recipes and work on the menu (collaboration, vulnerability). They will realize they have true feelings for one another. Each character will move towards the place they are gonna end up with.

If you created a whole season about "being in the freeze response" and another two previous seasons of extending trauma and bad coping mechanisms, you are gonna need more than one season to fix that; mental wellness is not like that; it should be treated like something that requires more time combined with efforts.

Not to mention, if SydCarmy is indeed happening, you have spent 3 fucking seasons creating distance between them. I also feel like so much of Sydney's life (to her and to us) is trapped around Carmy's issues, and it actually would make more sense for her to realize being with Carmy is too taxing for her, regardless if she had the most realistic tools to actually help him to grow.

You also had not given Sydney a proper arc to grow from her insecurities and follow her dreams. She still seems to be as insecure of her own skills as when she came in, because Carmy insist on creating a menu based on his trauma. Regardless of his good intentions and the beauty of their connection, she will leave the "bear narrative" as if Carmy is the closest thing she had to a chef David, as if Carmy was the monster she needed to endure to "grow" or "decide better." Fuck that.

[clangenrising]

I know u said I don’t have to apologize but I would like to preface this with I’m sorry for upsetting you, I wasn’t trying to say that those with cluster b personalities are more likely to like- Hurt people, just that their “level of evil” is at a point that I can’t imagine someone just… choosing if that makes sense? I wasn’t trying to like make them little sad soft boys just that, based on my own experiences of having a mental illness that does disposition me to do bad stuff, their thought processes seemed similar to mine rather than how I’d imagine a non-mentally ill person’s thought process would work, apologies

I understand that. But I specifically told you not to apologize to me. I know it hurts to get critiques like that, especially in such a public space, but I need you guys as my audience to be brave about that stuff, okay?

It takes a lot out of me to feel like I need to console my audience any time i push back on something they say. It's kind of exhausting to do so much emotional labor.

As well, you're still not understanding my point, or if you are you're ignoring it to justify saying what you said when you really don't have to. Razor and Sardine did "just choose" to do the things they did and they did them for racist, sexist, and egotistical reasons. That's the whole point of their characters. People can choose to be harmful and just because that choice feels justified to them doesn't make it okay and it also doesn't mean that they must have a sympathetic reason for making it or they must be mentally ill.

I'm not trying to say anything about your experience with mental illness. It sucks to have a mental illness that causes you to make poor choices or hurt those around you, I know from experience. But I think you're projecting onto these characters and that was the point of my original response; to say "You are reading my characters extremely incorrectly in a way that is actually very harmful to people who actually have those disorders".

Please stop for a second. Think about what I said and actually work on your beliefs/behavior. Do not return to my inbox to perform contrition.

The behavior itself is the real problem, not whether or not I personally got upset. You don't know me. I'm a stranger on the internet. You shouldn't be trying so hard to make me like you. This goes to all of my followers - you shouldn't be so focused on getting my approval that you ignore the actual message I'm trying to send. I want people to learn and grow, I don't care if they come and apologize for having a bad take.

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Ticci-Toby Headcanons: A Very Unstable Yandere (Creepypasta) (Kinda)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with a new chapter! I hope that you all enjoy this chapter here, my muffins!] 

(Disclaimer 1: For The most part Ticci-Toby is no longer considered a part of the creepypasta fandom. The original creator (All credit to them) asked that they, do not want Toby associated with it anymore. This is when he was part of the creepypasta fandom and is not the Ticci toby that he has become. So this is not the creator canon Ticci Toby but an alternate universe Ticci Toby (Kind of like a mult verse of sorts) 

Disclaimer 2: In This Ticci Toby is 30 in this because he was born in 1994 (So in the year 2024) he is 30

Disclaimer 3: Ticci Toby is not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!) 

-Base Yandere Headcanons with Ticci Toby From If He was Still part of the Creepypasta Fandom- 

.Ticci Toby is a hyperactive man and very energetic. 

.This carries over to how he is super energetic around you and excited to be around you. 

.He always is full of energy around you and loves to hang out with you. 

.He fell for you right away when he met you, which was when he was on a job for Slenderman. 

.Meeting you was just a chance but he became obsessed with you right away. 

.He is the type of yandere that would be very unstable and would be on the edge of snapping with mass murder or on the edge of snapping and kidnapping you! 

.He has PTSD So does not like cars, and he does not like driving in cars. He would purposely fuck up your car to keep you from driving in it. 

.He is irrational with this but he does not want you to ever be in a car or bus. 

.He lost his sister and he is not willing to lose you so it is very likely that he would kidnap you!'

.He is going to stalk you as well. 

.Making sure that you are safe and sound and that you are taken care of. 

.He does meal prep in your home for you. 

.Helps keep your house clean and taken care of and make sure that your fridge is always filled. 

.It of course would be freaking you out, that someone you do not know is taking care of you?

.Yup he is pretty much a stalker house husband. 

.He has been known to care for some very few people and of course, you are very much the person her cares about and loves the most. 

.So he would want to take care of you. 

.But he takes his bipolar disorder as a yandere to the extreme (fun fact I am I have bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, Borderline personality disorder, OCD, and so on, so I can see how relatable Toby is as a character and I say he takes his bipolar disorder as a yandere in the sense I know how my emotions flip so fast with bipolar and BPD (Borderline personality disorder has faster mood swing changes than a bipolar disorder to be honest Bipolar disorder is more so with mania and lows from high energy to low lows of not even get out of the bed, the more you know!) In which they go from one end to the other. 

.When he is super active and energized he can seem more upbeat and more willing to be patient with you. 

.But when he is having the low mood swings he can be a moody little bitch that is cruel and sadistic. saying very sarcastic things. 

.He can have mood swings that are more similar to borderline personality disorder where they change very rapidly and can switch like a flip of this switch

(again this is from my personal experience with both mental illnesses that rapid mood swings rarely happen with bipolar disorder (though not impossible) but more so the rapid mood swings tend to happen with borderline personality disorder. (Again this is not always the case I am not a doctor and it takes more symptoms than just mood swings to be diagnosed with either of these mental illnesses and some people just be emotional messes with no mental illness at all!) 

.His moods with his darling in particular can go from lovely dovey and sweet to very paranoid and that you are seeing someone else. 

.His schizophrenia (Again I feel this) makes him a very paranoid yandere. 

.Which with you may make him think that you are cheating on him with anyone and everyone! 

.with rivals it makes him think that anyone and everyone could be a rival and makes him really on edge. 

.This would make him stalk you even more! He has to make sure that you are not cheating on him and that no other man, woman, or other people are trying to get into bed with you. 

.Back to his mood swings, they can switch so fast and it makes him very unstable as a yandere. 

.Where he can be laughing with you, but then demanding why you looked at the cashier in the store 5 seconds too long 

.You like him, don't you? You are secretly sleeping with him, aren't you? 

.The mood swings with his schizophrenia make him so unstable! 

.He can go again from lovely dovey and possessive to demanding and controlling. 

.He tries his best to be a good partner to you, but he is not working to change these things, he continues on with how he acts and such. 

.It does work for you as well as a darling because once you notice his patterns with how he reacts you can play with his emotions to manipulate him and calm him down. 

.Of course, if you do not do it right it can backfire and he will say you and messing with him. 

.It is a risky game to be playing with a yandere like him that is for sure. 

.He is very much a troublemaker and a chaos gremlin. 

.He will cause a lot of minor trouble for rivals. Simple things like pranks in their house, but since he is unstable it can get to the point where he slams a hatchet into their brains.  .With rivals he can be chill with them for a good part of time, but of course, he can act out and go on a murdering spree. 

.He is the type of yandere that if he has a bad day and is pushed too much will commit mass murder with ANY AND ALL RIVALS

.He is actually a very protective yandere as well, if you had anyone who hurt you a bully, an abusive family member, anything really. He will kill them and torture them before he puts them out of their misery. 

.He had an abusive father and since you are the person he cares for he does not want anyone to harm you. 

.He would protect you from even slenderman. 

.He would do everything to keep you safe. 

.Once again he was stalking you. He is getting to know everything about you. 

.He would also leave you gifts and presents for you. 

.He wants you to know that he loves and cares for you. 

.He can be a very dotting yandere. 

.He would eventually start to worm his way into your life, since he is 30 years old he actually wants to settle down. 

.So he has been doing his best to be a stalker house husband, but slowly work his way into your life so that he can be in your house with your knowledge. 

.He also is a bit insecure though he is energetic and very open about how interested he is with you, how attractive he thinks you are, and how he compliments you a lot. 

.He has issues with how he looks, and sometimes his tics and such. Even though they are just mainly the popping of joints. 

.With you as his darling he would feel he would have to be up on your level and that he is not good enough for you. 

.He might even lash out that he would never be good enough for you and how it is not fair.

.and last time on the anger and happy mood swing. 

.This does affect how he treats you as well. 

.In which he can be so happy with you, but since the mood swings are so bad a lot can set him off to be angry. 

.Although that anger is rarely directed at you. 

.He is the type of yandere that blames rivals, and your friends, families, roommates, anyone really. 

.So he would for sure at some point kidnap you. 

.May it be for your protection or for you to love him it could be either of those. 

.Now how he would confess to you, remember this is when he wormed his way into your life. 

.He would confess to you over dinner, doing his best to look his best and wear his best clothes. 

.If you accept his love he will be the happiest he has ever been and so excited that he leaps up from the seat to smooch you. (This would be your guy's first kiss) 

.If you turn him down he is shattered and you know he is going to knock you out. 

.He would think one of two no three things. 

.One someone was poisoning your mind against him so he has to seclude you so he can make you understand your feelings. 

.I almost forgot to mention because he is schizophrenic he is a very delusional yandere. 

.Hearing voices and such telling him that you love him and that you needed to be protected at all costs, even from yourself. 

.So yes, once again a very delusional and canoically insane man and that affects how he would be as a yandere. 

.The Second reason he might kidnap you is thinking that you are in love with someone else. 

.So he has to protect you and keep you away from people trying to steal you away or hurt you. 

.And the last one, he is angry, yup one of the few rare times he would be angry at you and he has to teach you to love him. 

.Cause clearly you have had too much freedom and he is going to make sure that you learn to be a good darling for him. 

.Of course, this is if he did not kidnap you before confessing. 

.If he did kidnap you before confessing he would confess to you when you woke up. 

.If you accept his love in that way he will let you have more freedom in the creepypasta mansion 

.He got slenderman to let you stay and slenderman made sure everyone knew not to hurt you. 

.If you turn down his love well you are at stage one, which has you chained to the bed, by an ankle chain where you have limited freedom, can still reach the bathroom and such. But you will have to earn his trust to give you freedom. 

.Also he is going to be doing everything can to make you fall in love with him, and he will most likely make you fall in love with him, where you are basically dependent on him for anything and everything. Good luck! 

.This is what you would be like if he confessed before kidnapping and you rejected him at the dinner. Then he kidnapped you and you have the ankle chain. 

.You will for so long be only able to see him that you will crave his companionship just as much as him. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs, another chapter is done! This one is (minutes the disclaimer and info on mental illness is over 1,600 words. I hope that you all enjoyed, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[mads-is-tired]

i’ve had my slime story drink bottle for four days (i love it) and the lid just broke 😭😭

my dad, however, managed to fix it by melting the plastic

[tzarrz]

i listen to fog lake too much

[mewtwo24]

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

[mudstoneabyss]

actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)

[elenadoeslife]

🎢

[slugandthorn]

The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[not-equippedforthis]

6, 10 & 29? :)

HELLOOO

6 - 3 nice things about myself, non-physical and physical. i'll do three each! since i'm trying to be nicer to myself!

physical:

- i got glasses the other day and i think they look adorable, i love how they look on me

- i think my eyes are my prettiest facial feature, they're blue and quite round and i like how i do my eye makeup too (rose pink eyeshadow + small black eyeliner makes them stand out nicely and that's usually what people compliment :])

- i generally like my body shape. i'm working out more too and seeing myself become more flexible and toned is actually really satisfying

non-physical:

- i always try and include everyone in conversation or ask them what they were going to say if they were cut off since i know what it feels like to be excluded/feel like youre the tag-along in a friend group, or be nervous to join in

- i'm good at a range of subjects and tasks and i'm good at picking new things up quickly: new hobby every week core

- i'm a pessimist at heart but i try and make light of situations, since i know that also picks other people up (my mum always makes the worst out of things and it drags my mood down a lot so i try and be as forgiving and optimistic as possible - honestly, a lot of bad situations can be made funny with the right people and mindset. obviously sometimes frustration is warranted and unavoidable, but there's almost always a way out! having it start raining and immediately hear someone complaining for 10 minutes is kinda unecessary imo. enjoy yourself!! its fine!!)

10 - something i'm excited for

well, my friend and i are planning to go on a road trip up to scotland or somewhere similar once we get our drivers licenses and go sight-seeing! we were thinking february next year but we're still deciding

im also gonna try and bake some bread, so im happy for that :] i already bake a lot so i figured id try. also watching stuff rise is fun

29 - morning, afternoon or night

this depends heavily, but for me i stay up at night cause i want to avoid the next day and its the one of the only times its quiet, and the afternoon is a weird spot for me. i'm not really a morning person but i appreciate the morning? the sun's rising and there's still time and everything's peaceful for a little while. so i think morning.

thank you for the ask!! <33

[ween-kitchens]

yk when you can feel yourself starting to stop caring about stuff you love and you are White Knuckling through it because no I Will still love this so fucking help me

[californiaquail]

today at work i had to listen to my coworkers talk about how they're still feeling so sick and how they've never been so tired in their life after pretending covid is just a cold the other day and then later they started talking about how intensely they hate homeless people as if that's a normal way to act. also (separately) i got bitched at for not operating the washing machine at seamless maximum efficiency. dude i don't even get any benefits besides potentially discounted veterinary services

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Did I ever talk about the roleswap AU idea I had where Bill and Mina were in place of Dipper and Mabel, and Ford was in place of Stan? I don't have a LOT of ideas for it but I was thinking about it last night at work.